What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

On the phone, Curtis says he can’t wait to show Portia the progress he’s been making at physical therapy… He’s getting some of his moves back… Him too. See her soon. Marshall comes in and asks if Trina is here, but Curtis says, she went out. Marshall says he knows Curtis is worried about her, but give her some time. She’s been through a lot, but it’s true what they say, time does heal all wounds. (I disagree, but I think it makes them easier to live with.) Stella tells him, says the man who ought to know. Did he tell Curtis? Curtis says, tell him what?

Cyrus sits in the chapel, when Laura comes in and clears her throat. He looks up and she says she’s sorry. Was he praying? He says, just thinking. How’s his little nephew? She says, they’re waiting for the test results, but Doc was here with a patient, so he’s with Ace now. Ace has been so brave. Cyrus says, he takes after his grandma, and she says, Cyrus can actually be sweet when he wants to be. Cyrus laughs and says he knows her surprise is justified by his behavior, but it still stings just a little. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for the people he loves. And there’s no limit to what he won’t do to anyone who tries to hurt them.

Heather continues to work at the lock, when she hears the guard say, copy that, on the phone. He says he’ll return the prisoner to Pentenville immediately. She works faster.

In the car, Josslyn says, they’re not going to get there any faster if Dex gets pulled over for speeding, and he says he’ll keep it at 10 over. She says she wants to get there just as badly as he does. From what Michael said, all hell is about to break loose, and he does not exaggerate. Dex says, it has to be connected to whoever tried to take Sonny out in Puerto Rico, and she says, that means whoever’s around him is in danger.

Anna tells Sonny, let’s try this again. Why was he here tonight? Please don’t say it was to set up a card game with Selina Wu. Sonny asks if he’s under arrest. Is Ava under arrest? She says, not at this time, and Ava says, then they’re under no obligation to stay. John says, it’s a federal investigation, which means he can hold the two of them for up to 48 hours without charging them. In fact, he doesn’t have to hold them at the PCPD. He can have them transported to an FBI facility. He knows Sonny’s had experience, but what about Ava? She might benefit from the experience. Sonny asks if Anna is okay with this. He’s threatening to take Ava into federal custody. On what grounds? Because she’s standing next to him? Anna says, Agent Cates has the authority to investigate this case any way he sees fit, but Sonny says, this doesn’t have to do with any case. Tell them what it has to do with, Jagger? It has to do with Karen Wexler.

Blood trickles from Dante’s mouth, and he says, Jason. Jason tells him, don’t talk. He’s going to help him. On the phone, he says he’s on Pier 55 (where everything happens). A man’s been shot twice in the chest. He says, Dante, but Dante doesn’t respond. He tells the operator, he just passed out. Get the paramedics here now.

As Olivia puts dishes away, Sam says, Drew put Scout to bed, and she fell asleep right away. She was exhausted. She kept saying how she was so excited that she had this birthday party. Olivia says, you can always tell the success of a party by how much cake you find around the house hours later. (For adults, it’s how much liquor is gone.) Sam says, she loved the cake, the gifts, and she loved most of all that her dad threw her the party. Olivia says, after all the time he spent away from her, she bets Drew enjoyed the party more than Scout did. Sam says, he fell asleep to him reading her The Ugly Duckling for the millionth time. She didn’t have the heart to wake him. Olivia says, that was Dante’s favorite book too. She read that book to him so many times, she thinks she could recite it by heart. She was always trying to skip over the pages to get to the end quicker, but he always caught her, every single time. Sam says she loves it. He’s so brave and solid, she can’t picture it in her head. She thinks she always forgets he was a little boy too once. Olivia says, he’s been through a lot, but he’s still that same sweet little kid who used to bring her flowers home from school. It turns out, they were Mr. Coletti’s prize roses, but she digresses. She loves seeing him so happy. She’s so glad he found Sam. Sam says she’s so glad they found each other, and she and Olivia hug.

Jason takes off his jacket to make a makeshift dressing for Dante’s wounds.

Josslyn says she’s going to call Brick and see if he knows where Sonny is, and Dex asks if she really thinks Brick is going to give her any information about Sonny. She says she’ll try. She’ll explain and hopefully, he’ll understand. On the phone, she says, it’s Joss. Does he know where Sonny is? She’s… Wait. Is he sure?… Okay. Dex says, what is it? and she says she’s looking right now. A police scanner in Port Charles is reporting gunfire on the waterfront. Authorities are looking to shut down the whole area. It’s got to be Sonny. What is he doing? He says, getting off at the next exit. Call a Ride Share and go home. He’ll call her when he knows more. She says, forget it. She’s not leaving him. He says he’d feel a lot better if he knew she was safe. He doesn’t have time to argue about this. She says, good. Then they’ll stick to the plan, and they’ll go into Port Charles together.

John says, they’re investigating attempts on Sonny’s life and a possible connection to another conspiracy. Sonny says, maybe that’s why the FBI sent you, but that’s not why you’re here… Jagger. Ava asks why Sonny’s calling him that, and Sonny says, back in the day, his name was John, but that was too ordinary. He needed a cooler name, so he named himself Jagger. And he had a girlfriend named Karen Wexler… John says, he told Sonny to keep her name out of his mouth, and Sonny thanks John for proving his point. John hates him for what he thinks Sonny did… John says he doesn’t think; he knows. He had a front row seat. So why doesn’t Sonny tell them? Tell them what he did. Sonny says, no, Jagger, you tell them.

Cyrus says he never claimed to be a saint. Far from it. Laura knows that better than anyone. But he does hope she knows his attempts to change are genuine. She says he does seem to be trying, and he says, being a part of a family, her family, filled a void in his life that he didn’t even know existed. He knows he hasn’t been trustworthy in the past, but he hopes she believes him when he says, spending time with her has made him a better man. She says she knows there’s goodness in him – she’s always known it – no matter how deeply he tried to bury it. But words are not enough, even words quoted from the Good Book. He says, then tell him how he can prove himself to her, and she says she can’t do the work for him. He needs to figure that out for himself. He says, okay, and she tells him that she will say this. She’s very grateful to him for tonight, for helping her get Ace to the hospital quickly. He says he’s so glad he was there, and she says, her too. He says he just hopes she can keep him away from his other grandmother, and she says, Heather Webber will be going back to Pentenville, so she will not be able to get close to Ace ever again.

The guard tells Heather that he has to get her home. Her cell’s waiting for her. She says she’s still in so much pain. Doesn’t the doctor have to okay her release? He says, that’s above his paygrade. He’s just following orders. She says, the pain in her hip is really unbearable. He doesn’t like to see an old woman suffer, does he? She’s so parched and the nurse left her water just out of reach. Could he please? She points to the pitcher and glass, and he says, okay, fine. Then we’re out of here. He starts to pour a glass for her, when she gets up on the bed behind him and wraps something around his neck, pulling him back onto the bed.

The guard is passed out on the floor, and Heather tosses his keys onto him. She says, he’ll be fine. She groans and says she’s seriously out of shape. She needs more ER time. She peeks out and sees Amy walking down the hall with another nurse. The nurse says she doesn’t know why everyone is so nervous around Cyrus all the time. She thinks his radio show is very inspiring. Amy says, that’s because she doesn’t know his history in Port Charles. That man is bad news. She just hopes lightning doesn’t strike the chapel while he’s in there praying for that adorable little nephew of his. They continue on, and Heather says, start praying for yourself, Cyrus. She slips out, closing the door behind her.

Curtis asks if Marshall is saying Portia was on the right track when she said he was misdiagnosed all those years ago, and Marshall says, Curtis’s wife is an excellent physician and a very perceptive woman. Stella says, Curtis’s father has been off his meds for an entire year without any symptoms. It seems obvious that he never suffered from schizophrenia at all. Curtis says, that’s great news. Marshall has had this information for a while now. How come Marshall didn’t tell him when he first found out? Marshall says, Curtis had a few other things going on in his life, and truthfully, he felt like a fool. He ran out on his wife and family, left Curtis and Tommy with no father, and all for nothing. He should have handled it all so differently. Curtis says, the past is the past, and Marshall did what he thought was right at the time, but he’s here now. He knows it doesn’t make up for all those lost years, but at least he doesn’t have the schizophrenia diagnosis hanging over his head. Marshall says, it’s like he’s traded one sword for another, since he still doesn’t actually know what was wrong with him. (My guess is an anxiety attack.) Stella says she knows how much he wanted to get to the bottom of this, so she’s been requesting old records and putting together a list of the revolving door of doctors who treated him for schizophrenia. Curtis asks if she found anything, and she says, actually, she did. She was able to find the signature of the so-called specialist that signed off on his father’s diagnosis. Curtis says, after all these years. This is great. So now they track down that doctor and get the answers they need. He knows there’s something Marshall wants to tell Aunt Stella. Marshall says, thanks… but no thanks.

On the phone, Jason says, yes, he’s still breathing. What’s the ETA on the paramedics?… Okay, well, he can live if they get here in time. He tells Dante, just hold on. He can make it. He hears the sirens in the distance, and tells Dante, they’re coming. He can make it. Jason jets.

John says, Karen was his high school girlfriend. She was smart and she was ambitious, and she was beautiful. She was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. She repressed the memories, but it messed with her emotionally. Enter Sonny. He owned a strip club called The Paradise Lounge and he convinced Karen that she could empower herself, that she could take charge of her life by stripping. Did he mention she was underage? Ava asks Sonny if he knew that, and Sonny says he did. John says he’ll admit Sonny didn’t force her; he persuaded her. And when she got nervous about getting out there on that stage, he gave her drugs. Then in the end – John’s voice breaks – he slept with her. That’s the man Ava is standing next to, and that’s the man Anna is defending.

Sonny says, thirty years ago, he did own a nightclub called The Paradise Lounge, and it’s true he befriended Karen. She was curious about dancing, and he encouraged her, and he regrets it 150%. And if he had to do it all over again, he would do it totally different. Karen was abused and she was hurt, and she was acting out. That’s how she made her way to him, because she needed somewhere to go. He doesn’t care if John believes him or not, but he was there to help her. John says, by sleeping with her? By giving her drugs? Sonny says, by listening to her, by understanding what it’s like to be a young kid, powerless. You can’t stop somebody from hurting you. There’s a lot John doesn’t know about Karen, and that’s the real reason John hates him. John says, Sonny is like the Pied Piper from hell. He finds these damaged kids and pretends to save them, when really, he’s just exploiting them. That’s what he did to Karen, and he did it to Stone.

Josslyn and Dex arrive at the pier, and Josslyn says, Dante? They both run to Dante, and she says, it’s Joss. They’re going to help him. Dex says, someone did a field dressing, but she says, they have to do something else. Dex says, he’s got a chest wound. From the way he’s breathing, a lung’s collapsed. They have to plug these holes, so it doesn’t collapse more. He presses on Dante’s chest, and Josslyn gets on her phone. She says she’s on Pier 55 and a man’s been shot… No, there’s nobody else here. He’s alone… Yeah, she can hear the sirens. How long until the paramedics get here?… They need to hurry.

Olivia thanks Sam for sticking around and helping her clean up, and Sam says, of course (🍷). It was the least she could do. After all, Olivia helped with Scout’s party. Olivia says, the smile on her little face was thanks enough, along with the chunk of cake she has stashed in the fridge for later. Sam says she’s going to go. If Scout wakes up, have Drew handle her. She doesn’t want to impose on their time together. Olivia asks if that’s been a thing. Aren’t they getting along? She tells herself to shut her mouth and mind her own business, but Sam says, it’s okay. No one ever said co-parenting was going to be easy. She and Drew had their first disagreement about what’s best for Scout. Olivia says, that’s very normal. That’s going to happen. The stories she could tell Sam about her and Ned. Two big personalities, they butt heads all the time about what’s best for Leo, but at the end of the day, they talk it out, kiss, and make up. She’s not telling Sam to kiss Drew… Sam says she totally understands what Olivia is saying. She doesn’t want Olivia to think there’s friction between her and Drew. It’s not like that. The truth is, ever since Drew came back from Pentenville, something happened in there that changed everything about him. Olivia says she wishes she could tell Sam that she doesn’t have experience with that, but she does. When Dante came back with the PTSD, it was like he was a different person. After the torture and the brainwashing, it was like the boy she’d raised was out of reach. Sam says, they’re really lucky that Dante was strong and brave enough to come back to them, but Olivia says, luck had nothing to do with it. Her boy went through hell, and she didn’t think there was any way he was ever coming back. And then Sam came along.

Laura’s phone chimes, and she tells Cyrus, it’s Elizabeth. He says, good news he hopes, and she says, as a matter of fact, it is. Ace has a really nasty ear infection. He’s going to need a really strong antibiotic, but after that he’s fine. He says, then his prayers have been answered. Does this mean she gets to take him home tonight? She says, yeah. She just wants to fill this prescription while they’re getting him ready to be discharged. Cyrus wonders if Ace is old enough for lollypops (no), because he probably deserves a couple for being so brave. Doesn’t she think? She says, if not a lollypop, he probably does deserve some kind of a treat. She really likes how Cyrus is when he’s thinking about what’s best for Ace. It’s like he’s really learning how to be part of a family. He says, that really means a lot coming from her. Please keep him informed on how the little guy is doing. She says she will, thanks him, and leaves. He sits down, closes his eyes, and says, thank you, God. He hears the door open and says, forget something? He looks over and sees Heather, who says, never.

Cyrus asks what she’s doing here, and Heather says, what does anybody come to a place like this for? He’s a man of God now. He should know. She’s here to pray. He asks what she prays for, and she says, an answer. He says, the Lord is always willing to enlighten us. What’s her question? She says she wants to know why an old, lying, bankrupt weasel like himself gets to go on living, while her sweet Esme is dead. Does that seem fair to him? He reaches for his phone, but she says, don’t even try it, and takes out a huge surgical saw. She says, isn’t she a beauty? It’s amazing what you can find in a hospital, the tools they have to fix people. And then the other things you can do with them. She waves it around and says, I want you to suffer, old man, the way my Esme suffered.

Sonny says, Stone was his brother, but John says, no. Stone was his brother. He was a street kid that Sonny took in to run his errands, and when everything blew up with Karen, when Sonny was busted for underage talent, Stone became his ticket to respectability. Sonny says, he couldn’t be more wrong, and John says, Sonny was lower than dirt in Port Charles before Stone redeemed him. And suddenly he was Sonny Corinthos, mobster with a heart of gold, philanthropist. Who cares about his criminal record? All anybody could talk about was how good Sonny was to his brother. Sonny says he loved John’s brother, and he knows that, and John says, maybe he did. Maybe every moment he spent with Stone was sincere, but it still worked to Sonny’s benefit. Sonny is a shrewd investor, and this paid off for him in spades. Especially with Stone’s girlfriend. Robin treated him like a benefactor. She practically canonized him to the city of Port Charles. And to her mother. That’s the real reason Anna defends Sonny. Because Robin loves him; because he was there when Stone died, and she wasn’t. Anna asks if he’s quite finished.

Curtis says, let him get this straight. Marshall doesn’t want to find the doctor that misdiagnosed him? That mistake cost him his family, his future. Marshall says, it won’t change anything. It won’t give him back the years, the time he lost with Irene and Curtis and Tommy. There’s no getting that back. His focus needs to be on the life he has now. He thought he made that clear. Stella says, he did, and she heard every word, but that was his pain talking, the regret he feels, and she doesn’t want to add to that. It’s just the opposite actually. He’s been suffering as a prisoner for someone else’s mistake for 40 years. This is his chance to set himself free. Curtis says, Aunt Stella’s right. He knows Marshall is scared, but he’ll tell Marshall words Marshall told him when he found himself in this chair – you’re not alone. He misses mom and misses Tommy, but Marshall has him. This is right up his alley. Use his skills. They can pick up the thread Aunt Stella started. They can follow it wherever it takes them and finally put the past where it belongs, in the past. Stella says, Curtis is a smart man. Listen to him. Curtis says, let him do this with Marshall, okay? Let him help Marshall get these answers.

Josslyn tells Dante, the paramedics are on their way. She can hear the sirens. Just hang on. Dex wonders who fixed him up then left him, but Josslyn says she doesn’t know. Chase comes on the scene, and says, Dante. He runs over and asks, how bad is he? Dex says, from the amount of blood, it looks like multiple gun wounds to the chest, but they didn’t remove the pressure bandage, so they can’t be sure. He can’t find any other injuries. Chase says, the paramedics are on their way. He feels Dante’s neck and says he’s not getting a pulse.

Chase says he’s still not getting a pulse, and Dex says, the paramedics have to be close. Josslyn tells Chase to take over for Dex, who’s putting pressure on the wound. She’ll do rescue breathing while Dex does compression. Chase tells Dante to stay with them. They need him.

Sam says she can’t take credit for Dante’s recovery, and Olivia says, not all of it, no. He had to do the hard part himself, but Sam was a big part of that. After everything he went through with the WSB, seeing him talk about her – and they weren’t even a couple then, by the way – it was the first time she ever saw that spark back in his eye, the old Dante. It was the first time she allowed herself to hope that everything might be okay. Sam says, Olivia never told her that, and Olivia says she’s telling Sam now. Because she knows how happy Sam makes her son. She’s so grateful for Sam. She’s so grateful for her place in Dante’s life. Sam says she actually feels like the lucky one, because Dante was a bigger man, and he was brave, and he was able to fight those demons. Olivia says, he got that straight from Sam. Her son was at the lowest point in his life, and he needed someone to live for. And falling in love with Sam was a big part of that. So long overdue – thank you. She takes Sam’s hands and says, thank you for giving me my son back.

As they continue to work on Dante, Chase tells him, hang on. The paramedics are almost here. (They might have mentioned it was an officer down, not just, a man is shot.) Chase wonders where the hell they are, and Dex yells, we’re back here! He’s got a pulse. The paramedics arrive, and Chase says, hurry. His partner’s been shot. He’s got multiple bullet wounds to the chest that they know of. The paramedics go over to Dante, and Dex says, a pulse was detected. They did compression and rescue breathing. The paramedics do their thing, and Chase says, Dex and Josslyn may have saved Dante’s life. Josslyn says she hopes so, and Chase asks if they were the ones who bandaged him. Dex says, they found him like that. His legs were elevated and the sweatshirt was tied around him for a pressure bandage. Josslyn says, and somebody called 9-1-1. The operator was still on the phone when they got here.

John tells Anna that he’s here for a job, but the job isn’t to take Sonny down. That’s her job, and he looks forward to seeing her do it. She says, if she finds Sonny, or anyone else, doing criminal enterprise, then she’ll use every legal means at her disposal to bring them to justice. Ava says, wonderful. Now that they’ve both declared their mission statements, they can get back to their investigation, and she and Sonny will get out of their way. John’s phone beeps, and he says, one second. He has to go see one of the CSI personnel. He’s going to have to ask Ava and Sonny to stick around a while longer. He leaves, and Sonny asks Anna how long she’s going to let John drag this out, but she says she’s not letting him do anything. He has a case to work and the authority to work it. Ava says, after the show he just put on? He can’t be objective. He shouldn’t be anywhere near this case. (Agreed. And 30 years ago? Come on.) Anna’s phone beeps, and she says she has to take this. She leaves, and Ava says, for what it’s worth (🍷), she believes Sonny. About Karen. She believes Sonny was trying to help her. He thanks her, and she says, but Cates never will. And an FBI agent with a grudge is a bad enemy to have.

Cyrus tells Heather that they’re in a place of God. Please put the saw down. She says she doesn’t think so. She gestures with the saw as she talks, and says she wants him to listen to her. And she wants him to admit what he’s done. This little baby is going to help her make sure that happens. Her Esme came to him desperate and alone. All she wanted was for Cyrus to help her. It would have been so easy for him to do that, but he didn’t. Instead, he betrayed her. He says he knows that’s how it looks to Heather, but he was only trying to prevent… She says, to prevent something bad from happening. Yeah, so he’s said. But he didn’t and her little girl died, all alone, fighting for her last breath. Just imagine the terror she felt. Sheer panic as she fought to keep afloat until the current pulled her under. He says he didn’t want that. Nobody did. She tells him, how convenient that he says that now that her little girl is dead. But she will avenge Esme and become the mother to the son that Esme never got the chance to be. She moves closer while she talks and says, unfortunately, he won’t be alive to see it. Laura comes up behind her and clonks her in the head with something. Heather goes down, and Cyrus takes the saw. He and Laura look at each other, beathing heavily, and looking shocked.

Sonny says, they have another problem, and Ava says, just one? He says, Spinelli planted surveillance cameras all over the warehouse, and if the FBI finds them, they’re going to trace it to Spinelli. And they’re going to confiscate all the footage that happened tonight. She says, including the shooters on the roof, and he says, they can’t let Jagger see that footage before he does. They’re going to detain him here for probably 48 hours. They’re not going to detain her. She needs to get ahold of Dean. Have him take her to Spinelli’s and get that footage. Shed says, he’s trusting her, when Anna comes back. Anna tells Sonny that she has a squad car waiting to take them to the hospital. Dante’s on route to the ER. He’s been shot. He’s in critical condition.

Marshall says, Curtis would do that for him? and Curtis says he’d do anything to help Marshall. But he has to admit, he’d be doing that for all of them. The whole family was affected by Marshall’s diagnosis for decades. And now, thanks to Aunt Stella, they have a signature and a starting point. Stella says, and with his son’s expertise, they should be able to find that doctor and find out the truth. Marshall says he sees. It’s two against one. Talk about stacking the deck. Curtis asks if that’s a yes, and Marshall takes Curtis and Stella’s hands. He says, with his son by his side, he couldn’t lose.

A new guard has Heather, and she says, Laura hitting her in the head was a little extreme. Laura could have killed her. Cyrus says, Heather means, before she killed him, and Heather says, minor detail. Laura says, Heather left her no choice, but she’s glad Heather is okay, and Heather says, now there’s the Laura Webber she remembers. She was so sweet back in the day. Laura says, it’s Laura Collins now. He can take Heather away. Just make sure she gets checked for a concussion. Heather limps away with the guard, and Laura says, she doesn’t look well. She did hit Heather pretty hard. Does Cyrus think there’s anything wrong with her? He says he doubts it. She’s probably trying to escape again. He wouldn’t believe anything that woman says or does. In the hallway, Heather says she can’t breathe and falls on the floor. Laura and Cyrus come out of the chapel.

Olivia asks Sam if she can be a little bit nosy. Tell her to mind her own business and butt out if it’s too much, but since Sam and Dante spend so much time together, any chance of them making it official? Sam says, things are great between her and Dante right now, but she thinks they like things the way they are right now. Olivia says, fair enough. She can’t blame a mother for trying though. There’s a knock at the door, and Josslyn and Dex come in. Olivia says, they’re a little late for the party, and Sam asks, what’s going on? Josslyn says, they just came from the pier. Dante’s been shot.

An agent hands John a camera in an evidence bag, and John says, tell CSI to tear this place apart. They need to know if there’s any more of these here. These cameras are state of the art. The surveillance was obviously part of Sonny and Selina’s plan. He needs to know what network these cameras are running on, what’s on that footage, and most importantly, who’s got it?

Jason leans against a dumpster and feels underneath his coat. He looks at his hand and sees blood on it.

Tomorrow, Cody says, it was an opportunity to spend time with Sasha; Nina says, someone will just have to trust her; Ava finds Spinelli; and Olivia asks if Sonny had anything to do with this.

Vanderpump Rules

They play that sunrise music where I feel compelled to tweet like a bird. In Tahoe, everyone is doing their thing. Sandoval writes in his journal. Lala gets in bed with Scheana, who says, Brock got up at 5 for golfing. She was texting with Ariana last night. They’re not welcoming the Toms with open arms. Sandoval wouldn’t be here if it was their trip. She doesn’t think she can be friends with him again, but during the pandemic she had nothing coming in and he floated her. In Scheana’s interview, she says she woke up to several thousand dollars in her PayPal. Her podcast had been canceled, she was pregnant, and had no income. He was there for her when no one else was. She doesn’t want be best friends, but she’s struggling with not forgiving him. He’s a human and he’s been there for her. Lala asks if she’s feeling torn, but Schena says, no. She’s Team Ariana until she dies.

Ariana does a photoshoot for her new cocktail book, and Katie brings over lunch. In Ariana’s interview, she says, the cocktail book she did before was with Sandoval. He thought she couldn’t do anything on her ow. We flash back to Sandoval naming a cocktail and ignoring Ariana’s input. She says, this is essentially her breakup album. She’s trying to make lemonade out of lemons, but with vodka. She tells Katie that the book is the story of her relationship, and Katie asks if it’s dark. Ariana shows her the chapters: Honeymoon, Betrayal, Devastation, Resilience, and Ad Astra. It sounds like the five stages of grief. They laugh over the cocktail names, and Ariana does some shots outside. The photo kind, not drinks.

Sandoval greets Shannon, the yoga wellness instructor, and they lay out mats for the group. Shannon asks if there’s anything he wants her to touch on, and he gives her the Readers Digest version of Scandoval. He says, it didn’t tear the group up so much, but everyone hated him. This trip is the first time anyone’s let their guard down. Shannon says she’ll do a seated meditation where they work together. Lala, James, Ally, Schwartz, and Scheana show up and everyone remarks on the clarity of the day. Scheana wonders where Brock is. Shannon says the meditation is about awareness to self as well as everyone around you. Brock finally shows up, and Shannon says, they’ll sit by themselves first to center themselves, then they’ll do partner meditation, and end with bringing it to the full group. Allow themselves to be vulnerable and open to the full experience. They sit on their mats, and Shannon tells them to listen to their bodies and give themselves a few moments to be in the moment. Hear the lapping of the lake and feel the air on their skin. It almost feels like they’re playing a movie of their life. We flash back over Scandoval, and Shannon tells them to let go of their labels to help put themselves back together to feel whole. She asks them to sit back-to-back with the person next to them, and poor Scheana is sitting next to Sandoval. Since there are seven people, there has to be a triangle, and Scheana looks panicked when Brock sits with James and Ally. In Scheana’s interview, she says, this is the longest she’s gone in their 15 years of friendship, not speaking to or seeing Sandoval. She’s holding on to anger, resentment, and hatred, and she’s not ready for this. Shannon tells them to talk to the person and ask what they need. She doesn’t want anyone to hold back. Don’t say they’re okay just because it’s what they’re used to saying or walk eggshells. Scheana says she’s not okay and needs a break. She gets up and on her way inside, she says she still f***ing hates him.

Brock finds Scheana inside, and she tells him that she’d rather have done this with him, but he says, there’s other stuff here too. In Brock’s interview, he says he thought Scheana owed it to herself to have this moment and figure out the next step. He tells her that they’re here to figure this out. Outside, Schwartz says he saw this blue jay and it was massive. That’s his story. They’re supposed to symbolize communication and strength, and he thought it was a good omen. Brock tells Scheana that she’s got to be open minded. It doesn’t mean being best friends. It’s about talking through that. Scheana refuses to hug Brock, and he asks if she’s mad at him too. She says she just asked him to be back in time, and goes back outside. She tells the group that she doesn’t feel well and she’s uncomfortable. Shannon asks if everyone feels they’re okay, and Sandoval asks if Scheana is okay. Scheana says, yeah, and Shannon tells them to come back to where they feel whole. The moments in life that felt difficult made them who they are. We flash back over Sandoval and Scheana throughout the years. Shannon says she wants them to feel the beat of the heart and the rhythm of the breath of the person behind them. Then slowly and mindfully back away until their sitting on their own. Turn and face the person and imagine it’s the last time you’ll see them. Scheana looks like she wants to ugly cry, and Shannon asks how it feels to know they’ll never see them again or have them in their life. No matter what has transpired, remember there is much love before the loss. Scheana finally cracks and starts bawling. She says she needs to let go of the hate. It’s not good for her, but she’s still mad at Sandoval. She doesn’t know him. Sandoval says she does, and she says she knows who he is to her and what he did to her. He says, she doesn’t understand, and she says she doesn’t know if she needs to. Sandoval says he was thinking if it was the last day he’d ever see her and got very sad. Then he thought about the beautiful, amazing times they had together, took it in, and sort of celebrated it. Scheana says she thought about the last day many times during this because she was worried that he was going to do something to himself. She needs to let go of hating him, but he did this. Brock cries watching her, and she gets up. In Sandoval’s interview, he say she knows this is especially difficult for Scheana, and he appreciates that she’s willing to do it and be vulnerable with him. Shannon says, the last part is making a big circle, including Hippie (nee Graham). In his interview, Sandoval says he was hoping Scheana would be reminded that he’s not a ruthless, heartless villain. He’s a friend and misses her. He heaves a big sigh. Shannon thanks them and they thank her. In Scheana’s interview, she says, the mask fell and she saw there was still a soul inside. Her friend Tom misses her and their friendship and knows how bad he f***ed up. Schwartz says, they’ll chill, then go to the gondola. Lala finds Scheana and hugs her. Scheana says she saw genuine tears and cries some more. She tells Lala that she texted Ariana this morning, and it’s hard. She loves Ariana and has her back no matter what. Lala says, Sandoval can’t continue to be crucified day in and day out. He made a mistake, and it changed the dynamic of the group. There’s nothing they can do to change it.

Ariana tells Katie about Scheana texting her, and how she ended up with Sandoval as a meditation partner. She was sobbing and it was so uncomfortable. Ariana didn’t have time to ask the follow-up questions, so she just said, it sounds awful. Katie says, if someone wanted to be friends with Sandoval, Ariana’s not their friend? and Ariana says, yep. In Ariana’s interview, she says she’s made it clear. It doesn’t work for her to have mutual friends. She doesn’t want Sandoval to have access to her life in any way. She’s not making ultimatums or telling anyone what to do, but she’s only putting time and energy into friendships where she feels safe. We find out Katie’s date didn’t know what penne is, and she says she feels like in terms of life experience, they’re not in the same place. In Katie’s interview, she says, she already had to introduce Schwartz to the world. She doesn’t know if she wants another project boyfriend.

They get to the gondola, and Schwartz says, they’re one big f****ed up family. In James’s interview, he says, Ally wasn’t going because she’s afraid of heights, but he convinced her. He gets up during the ride, and dances, trying to rock the car, which does not amuse Ally. I identify because I had a boyfriend who did that on the aerial tramway to Roosevelt Island. I wasn’t amused either. James rides with the girls, while the rest of the guys ride in another car. Sandoval asks if the others got something out of the morning, and Schwartz says his relationship with Lala was strained. It was nice to reconnect. We see a clip of him telling her that she’s a good mom and has great eyebrows. Brock says, it was good, but Scheana was upset. She didn’t know how to handle the different relationship dynamic. Lala wonders what the boys are talking about, and Scheana says, her. She’s not wrong. Sandoval says, neither of them did any of this with the intention of hurting anyone. But the way they all reacted was with the intent to hurt them. Brock says, Scheana got slammed with a restraining order, and Sandoval says, because she punched Rachel Raquel in the face. In Brock’s interview, he says, Sandoval is taking 10% accountability, and 90% blaming others for his issues. Sandoval says, it was a hate crusade, and Brock says, Sandoval’s team spread rumors about him and Raquel Rachel. In his interview, Brock says, at the height of everything, Sandoval’s team said that Sandoval wasn’t the only one having an affair. When their team asked where it came from, they were told, off the record, Sandoval’s team. Guess it’s on the record now and I wonder if I need a team. Brock says, for the record, he and Raquel Rachel never looked at each other that way. She was like his little sister. Sandoval’s team was trying to save Sandoval’s ass and threw him under the bus. Sandoval says he’ll literally take a polygraph.

They get off the gondola, and the view is breathtaking. There’s a discussion about whether or not they’d go down a water slide from there. I think, maybe… Brock says, Sandoval is going to die on his own sword for a woman who’s not even here. He needs to stop it and move on. Brock says he needs a beer and tells Scheana that he lost it on Sandoval, although I don’t think that qualified as losing it. He doesn’t get it. brock tells Sandoval that he’s sorry he got emotional. They say what’s on the top of their minds and it’s not conducive to the conversation. Sandoval says he’s not discounting Brock’s feelings, but they it’s the constant kicking while he’s down from them. They saw him touring and they’re thinking he’s partying his balls off, but he had to. He had no money. He could have if he sold that house, but okay. Brock says, Sandoval’s choices of platform were incorrect, but he’s sorry for snapping. He saw Scheana was upset. Sandoval says he understands. In Scheana’s interview, she says, she was by herself last night, and hopped into a photo for someone’s birthday. They posted it and her arm is around Sandoval, technically. He just put himself in there, and now people are dissecting the photo. She’s reading, Scheana this and Scheana that, and it frustrates her. They don’t know she’s personally struggling and assume she’s betraying Ariana. Lala tells Scheana that she doesn’t think she should be reading that. They go in a small yacht to a gorgeous spot and some of them go into the in water. It looks like a blast.

Ariana, Katie and chief consultant Penny meet interview potential employees for the sandwich shop. In Ariana’s interview, she says, despite everything that’s happened, she and Katie’s vision is the same for the restaurant. Penny is working on the nuts and bolts, and she and Katie are focused on the front of the house. She’s never hired anyone and it’s weird to be on the other side of the table. She doesn’t want people to feel like they’re big, bad, boss ladies. First candidate Brent comes in wearing pickle tie because he’s a big dill. Penny seems to ask all the questions, and in Ariana’s interview, she says she appreciates Penny’s expertise, but she feels that she and Katie should be asking the questions. Brock and Schwartz swim out to a log, while Scheana finds a spot by herself on the boat and takes out her phone. No matter what she’s going to do, it’s a bad idea.

Scheana calls Ariana, who tells her that they’re interviewing. She asks if Scheana still feels sick, and Scheana says she’s depleted. They did the meditation whatever thing. Ariana says, Scheana wants healing, but doesn’t want to be put in the position to be friends. He did this to her and he’s not someone she wants to be friends with. She’s saying this for Scheana’s sake. Scheana says, it’s not like it used to be. The instructor had them imagine it was the last time they’d see this person and imagine this and that. Ariana knows how close they were, and it was a heavy loss. She’s struggling. She misses him, but they never be what they were because of what he did. Ariana says, he put everybody in that position, and Scheana says she felt like she got a genuine apology and genuine tears. She needs to let go of the hatred. She can’t keep hating him for Ariana. In Katie’s interview, she says, Scheana is getting close to crossing the line. She’s got the wrong audience. Scheana says she’s mad because she misses her friend. In her interview, Katie says, if Scheana wants to be Sandoval’s friend, Ariana will cut her off. She needs to think about her next move carefully.

In Ally’s interview, she says she’s nervous about James posting a photo with Hippie. Once you put it out there, it’s news. The cat’s out of the bag. Schwartz invites stew Arielle back to the house, and Sandoval passes around oxygen like it’s a bong. Lala asks if everyone had a good with him and he says, pretty much. She wonders if she can ask him a question. When he looks in her eyes says she needs to be real and honest with her life, knowing what he’s doing, how could he look at her and say that? He did an article the day before he got caught. Sandoval corrects her and says, the day of, and Lala says, it was such a mind f***. In Lala’s interview, she says, Sandoval said she has douchey energy and needs to be real. We see the headline and she says, how poetic it should come out on this day, and rich coming from him. Sandoval says, Lala’s life was a mystery for years, and in his interview, he says he lied for 7 months, when Lala lied for a few years about her 6-year relationship. They’re both liars. He calls this a wash. Wow. He just doesn’t get it. He’s even a bad sociopath. He could at least pretend. Lala says, he doesn’t get to talk about her past when he was doing what he was doing to them. She thought he’d say he f***d up and he’s sorry, but he’s not. He says he’s taking accountability.  

Sandoval says, they’re putting their lives out there and Lala isn’t, and she asks Scheana if she’s losing her mind. Sandoval wants to say she’s not real. In Lala’s interview, she says she thinks she overestimated the self-work Sandoval’s been doing. She tells him that she felt sorry for him for five seconds, and then he revealed that he’s terrifying. She’s happy with who she is and doesn’t care if he approves. She wanted to have a conversation where he’d be a human being. He says, she came at him, but she says she didn’t. He’s rehashed her past every year because it’s all he has on her. He won’t allow her to evolve, and even though it’s only been 4 months, she let him evolve. She tells him that he isolates and grooms. She doesn’t know him and doesn’t want to. He’s scary. Not being able to think of his own material, he says, she’s scary. Lala walks off, and Brock says, all they wanted was for him to say he’s sorry. No one wants bullsh*t. Sandoval continues to dig in his heels, and Lala says, all she wanted was for him to say he’s sorry. He f***ed up, but he brought up her past. Scheana says, Lala is asking for an apology and feels it’s hypocritical to tell her to be real. In Sandoval’s interview, he says his biggest issue with Lala is that she pulls out skeletons for motivation, yet he’s hypocritical for hiding 7 months of an affair. Lala says, all she wanted was for him to say he f***ed up, and Sandoval says he didn’t understand. Lala insists she’s not coming for him. She’s tired. Sandoval awkwardly hugs Lala and says he’s sorry. The last couple days meant a lot. He’s still processing and it’s a lot for everybody. Schwartz tells Arielle that they’re not usually like this.

Brock comes back drunk on tequila shots, and he and Schwartz talk about past relationships. Schwartz finally says, they’re too drunk to have this conversation. James calls his mom and says he spoke to Sandoval. He’s here. His mom says, no bueno, and James says he’s taking it day by day. Sandoval thanks Schwartz for inviting him. It was a huge breakthrough. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, in the beginning, he felt like a dog. Now at least they’re leaving him food on the porch. He can’t come inside, but maybe he can sleep in the backyard, not on the street.

Scheana tells Lala that she has to defend herself for how she’s standing in the photo. Lala tells her not to be searching for it, but Scheana says, it’s everywhere. It’s in all her mentions. Lala says, she’s searching for it and asks if Ariana came to her defense. Scheana says, of course not. When she tries to talk to Ariana, Ariana dismisses her feelings or says she shouldn’t feel that way. It’s like she’s a bad person for just telling Ariana that she’s struggling. Lala says, her feelings are valid, and Ariana is doing fine. She’s having her moment and deserves it. Scheana says she’s happy for Ariana. Even when she got Dancing with the Stars. Ariana knew how badly she’d wanted to be on it, but she was genuinely happy for Ariana and said she’d be there whenever Ariana wanted. She deserves what she’s getting, and Scheana is happy she didn’t go down a dark spiral, but she’s hurting still. Lala says she understands. Scheana can have Ariana’s back, but she has to acknowledge what Scheana’s been through. In Lala’s interview, she suggests Ariana pull her head out of her ass and remember who her friends are and what they’ve done for her. Scheana is ride or die and it’s time for Ariana to return the favor. Scheana asks why she can’t have a moment about her. She lost a very dear friend and she’s struggling with that. But she’s not allowed to feel that way because it’s about Ariana. She cries.

Next time, Lala tells Lisa that she’s trying to rebrand and get a sperm donor; Lala tells Katie that she’s a bit much; Sandoval is worried about Raquel Rachel; and Lisa says Rachel Raquel isn’t happy with Sandoval.

☔️ Jumping Puddles…

Slide into my blog tomorrow for soap and Part 2 of the horror that is Beverly Hills reuniting. Until then, stay safe, stay keeping your dog on a leash outside the dog park, and stay allowing people to evolve.