Tag Archives: Shep Rose

October 29, 2020 – Darth Vader Is Unmasked, a Return From the Dead, Back To Charm, a Tease, Craig Speaks, Bad Guest, New Atlanta, Runway Baby, Sanderson Sequel, Flicks For the ‘Ween & Moon

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ava visits Franco in the hospital. She asks what he’s got in his hand, and he shows her a can of spray paint. She says, the other hand, and he shows her a bloody knife. Franco wakes up, and he really is in the hospital.   

On the phone, Carly leaves a message for Sasha. She says the Do Not Disturb sign is still on Sasha’s door, and housekeeping can’t get in to clean her room. If Sasha doesn’t call back, she’s coming up and using her passkey. Cyrus comes in, and says he needs a table for two.

At one of the lounge tables, Sonny says it’s good Spinelli came to see him. What’s troubling him? Spinelli says he knows Sonny has more important matters to attend to than his personal issues, but he’s in desperate need of Sonny’s astute advice. Sonny says he’ll do the best he can, and Spinelli asks, how do you stand back and do nothing when someone you love is about to ruin their life?

At Anna’s, Anna, Peter, Finn, and Maxie toast. Maxie says she shouldn’t gloat, but she has so much to celebrate. An incredible career, James is healthy, Georgie is back in Port Charles, she has a baby on the way, and a loving, handsome fiancé on her arm. What more can she ask for?

Portia tells someone on the phone that she has correspondence needing immediate delivery. Ava comes into the hospital, and Portia asks if everything is okay. Ava says she doesn’t know. She’s looking for Franco. She heard he was admitted.  

Elizabeth stops by Franco’s room with Cameron. She asks if Franco is okay, and he says he thinks he had too much Jell-O; it gave him nightmares. He asks if Cameron shouldn’t be somewhere else, but Cameron says, it’s just a lame party. Franco says, dude, I’m fine, and Cameron says, dude, you fainted. Franco insists he’s fine; it’s a total overreaction. Elizabeth says now that Cameron has seen Franco for himself, he can go to the party. Franco tells Cameron to save some TP. Windymere is long overdue for a good trick.

Nikolas walks into Charlie’s, and Julian says, if it isn’t the Prince of Darkness himself. Nikolas says Julian has no time for wisecracks. Whatever scheme he’s dragging Ava into, drop it. Julian says he doesn’t know what Nikolas is talking about, and Nikolas says Julian is obviously in trouble. Lucky for Julian, he’s going to save his sorry ass.

Portia tells Ava that Elizabeth and Cameron are in with Franco right now. Anything else she can help with? Ava says, actually, she wanted to thank Portia for allowing Trina to continue working at the gallery. She trusts Trina is keeping up her grades. She’s been stressing the importance, and she’s all about the GPA. Portia says she did want to talk to Ava about something that’s come to her attention. Trina is trying to rehabilitate her father’s reputation, and she heard the whole thing was Ava’s idea. Ava says, she was just trying to… and Portia says she’s wanted Trina to have a goal; something to focus her concentration on, instead of feeding her sorrow and anger. She wishes she’d thought of it herself, but she’s glad Ava did, and thanks her.

Trina, dressed as Princess Leia, meets Josslyn, dressed as a cheerleader, outside of Charlie’s. She says it’s no surprise Cameron is late, and Josslyn says she’ll text him to hurry up. They go inside, and Trina says they have important business to discuss about her dad. They sit, and someone in a Darth Vader mask watches them through the window.   

Elizabeth makes an excuse to leave, and Franco asks Cameron, what’s going on? Cameron says, it’s just a stupid party. Franco tells him, don’t blame the party because he’s interested in two girls, and can’t settle on one. Cameron says he and Trina figured it out, and they’re staying in the friendzone. He’s good with it. Franco says, and Josslyn? and Cameron says, the same. It’s senior year, and he doesn’t want any obligations. Franco says he should never say that about someone he cares about. Cameron says Josslyn isn’t interested, and Franco asks if she said so. Cameron says not in so many words, and Franco asks how he knows then. Cameron says, trust him; he knows. Franco says if Cameron wants to talk, they can do it any time. Now go have fun. Good talk. Cameron says, good talk, and leaves. Elizabeth comes back, and wonders how Franco got Cameron to go to the party, and Franco says they have an understanding.  

Julian tells Nikolas, he’s fine, thanks, and Nikolas says, Ryan called Ava out of the blue, and she drops everything to visit him. Why? Julian says he doesn’t know what Ava is thinking, and Nikolas says, when she came back, she was jumpy and anxious. She seemed desperate, and said lives depend on it. He was wondering whose lives matter to her, and boiled it down to Julian. What did he do this time, and who wants to kill him because of it?

Spinelli asks Sonny to pardon his presumption, but Sonny doesn’t seem like he’d stand idly by while someone he loves risks their future because of an unenlightened decision. Should he step in? Sonny says, don’t get involved in somebody’s personal life. It could backfire in his face, and in Sonny’s experience, it usually does. Spinelli says Sonny isn’t the first to caution him. The superspy from down under went so far as to tell him to play the role of supportive friend. He doesn’t think he can convincingly pull it off. Sonny says, stop trying so hard. Don’t pretend. Give honest support. Spinelli says he has no choice, and Sonny says, just because Spinelli can’t do something, doesn’t mean someone can’t do something in his place.

Carly says she’ll have a waitress seat Cyrus, but he says he doesn’t mind seating himself. He asks how her mother is, when Sasha comes out of the elevator. He says, there’s his dining companion now. They can seat themselves, but he’d appreciate her sending over a server; he’d like a drink. Sasha says hi to Carly, who’s obviously displeased, and they sit.

Spinelli is on the phone, but sees Cyrus and Sasha. He says he’ll text when he gets there, and literally runs into Valentin. Valentin says he’d like to talk about a collaboration. Word is on the street that Spinelli is spectacular at hacking. Spinelli says he wouldn’t consider working for Valentin any more than he’d support Maxie getting married… in polka dots. Valentin thinks they should get to know one another. Peter is Anna’s son, and he guesses that makes that makes Spinelli family if he marries Maxie. Spinelli says he has somewhere to be, and jets.

Maxie opens a gift from Anna, and squeals over a new bag, while Finn talks to Peter on the side. Finn says if Peter has a request, name it. Anna tells Maxie that she’s proud of her, as a creative trailblazer, a mother, and wife-to-be. She thinks it’s Maxie’s time right now. Maxie says Anna is going to make her cry, and Anna knows she’s hormonal. She hopes she can balance work and parenthood as good as Anna does, and Anna says she thinks Maxie will do better. Finn tells Peter, it may require a cummerbund. He’ll keep the party nonsense to a minimum. It means the world to Anna, but he doesn’t want Peter to feel pressured. Peter says he’s honored to be part of the family. Maxie tells Peter, they have to go if they want to make their reservation. They thank Anna, and leave.  

Julian tells Nikolas to keep his nose out of Ava’s business, but Nikolas says, Ava’s business is his business. Julian seems on the defensive. One reason could be his late wife Nelle. Nelle and Ryan had some dealings with each other in prison. Julian says, Ryan stabbed her, and Nikolas says he was wondering how Nelle survived. Julian says, maybe she got lucky, and Nikolas says, what if it was planned? He’s willing to bet Ryan and Nelle got to know each other pretty well. Well enough that she left some leverage against Julian, and the possibility of it being shared with someone makes Julian nervous. How’s he doing?  

Ava goes to Franco’s room, and asks how he’s doing. He asks how she knew he was there, and she says she stopped at the art therapy room. She ran into Epiphany, who told her that he’d been admitted. She’s worried… He says he’s stopping her now. Whatever she wants, he won’t say yes until she comes clean. What has she done? She asks if he’s delirious, but he says he’s in a hospital bad, it’s given him time to have a clear focus. Ava says she tried to push Nikolas and Elizabeth together, so she could divorce Nikolas and keep the money. He says, and…? and she says, it was a lousy thing to do, and she’s sorry. She hopes he can forgive her. Now it’s his turn. He says he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Whatever he did was in response to what they did. She says she knew it. Not only did he and Elizabeth get Scotty to blackmail her, but they blackmailed Nikolas as well.

Josslyn starts to text Cameron again, when Darth Vader walks in. Trina looks outside, and says, the guys are here. She asks if it’s going to be weird, and Josslyn asks why it would be. Trina says she only has one thing on her mind, and Dev and Cameron join them; Dev dressed as a vampire, and Cameron, a sailor (he looks like the one on the Cracker Jack box). Dev says he didn’t know they were having a planning session before the party, and Josslyn suggests they skip the party, and use the time to help Trina with her dad. Unless someone has other plans. Cameron asks why she’s looking at him, and she says she knows he might be too busy for a big commitment.  

Portia asks Elizabeth how Franco is, and she says, hungry and grumbling about the food. She thinks he’s back to normal. Portia says, maybe a visit from a friend will lift his mood. Ava came by.  

Ava tells Franco, admit it, but he insists he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She says she saw them after Scotty handed over the money. He had a check from Nikolas as well. What did Nikolas and Elizabeth do? If Nikolas cheated, and Franco has proof, she needs to see it. Franco says, so she can get her greedy paws on the Cassadine millions, and she says, also to save a life. He asks her to leave, and she says, this is real. If he ever gave a damn about her, give her proof that Nikolas cheated.

Nikolas tells Julian, this doesn’t have to end badly. Julian can disappear. Nikolas has the money for him to go somewhere else and start a new life. Julian asks why Nikolas thinks he would run, and Nikolas says because his life is in Ryan’s hands, and Ryan isn’t known for his kindness and mercy. Julian says he’ll do things his way. When his sister comes to Nikolas for a divorce, give it to her.

Anna looks at two different witch costumes, one white and one black. Finn says he has bad news. There’s an emergency at the hospital, and he has to go in. She says, he’s not trick-or-treating with Violet? but he says Violet understands, and still wants to go to the sleepover at Elizabeth’s. She says, he’s leaving her on solo candy duty? and he says, she has the special skill set for it, and can handle it. She asks which costume he likes, and he asks if this is a test. She says she wants his opinion, and he says he likes what she likes. She says, normally, she’d let that slide, but she can’t decide. He says she’ll look just as beautiful in either, and she says, good job covering. She’s got a lot on her mind, waiting for the test results. He says, you wouldn’t know it, and she says, her training. He says, the WSB? and she says, no; the British. Stiff upper lip. Keep smiling and they won’t know you’re dying inside. He tells her, no matter what the tests say, Peter is still family. She says she knows. She’s not getting ahead of herself, just waiting for the results. She’ll try not to climb the walls or eat too much candy. He says he has to go, but for what it’s worth (🍷), he thinks he likes the light one.  

At the MetroCourt, Peter says he loves how Maxie is so open about enjoying her birthday. She says, of course (🍷) she loves her birthday. She loves the presents and attention, but also how much she has to be thankful for. They’re about to kiss, and suddenly, Spinelli is between them.  

Carly watches Cyrus and Sasha from the bar. Cyrus asks if Sasha is ready for another drink, but she says, to be honest, she’s not sure what she’s doing there. He says she’s having dinner with a new friend, and she asks if that’s what they are; friends. He says he’d like them to be, but supposes if he never makes it beyond concerned bystander, he’ll be fine. She says she doesn’t mean to be rude. She appreciated his kindness last night. She was in a bad place. He asks if he can be blunt. She doesn’t seem to be much improved. Would it help if she confided in someone? She says, someone like him? He says he is right there.

Sonny comes in, and tells Carly, sorry he’s late. He was talking to Spinelli. He asks, what’s wrong? and she says, that. He looks at Cyrus and Sasha, and Carly shakes her head

Ava tells Franco, give her proof that Elizabeth was with Nikolas, and she can get a divorce. He says, and save someone’s life. Whose life? She says she wants to tell him, but she can’t; it’s too dangerous. He says, just stop. He’s over being her pawn. She sits next to the bed, and says, he’s angry; she gets it. He has every reason to be. Franco says he does. She tried to drive a wedge between him and the woman he loves more than air. She says she won’t leave Nikolas without getting the money, and he says, she and Nikolas are both addicted to the game they’re playing. They deserve one another.

The doorbell rings, and Anna comes out as a witch in white. It’s Valentin, who says, trick-or-treat. She asks, what’s up? and he comes in. He says he thinks Peter has a Damien Spinelli problem, and Anna says, Spinelli is never going to accept that Maxie is getting married to Peter. He needs to get over it, like Robert. Valentin says, where Spinelli goes, Jason tends to follow. 

Maxie tells Spinelli, she and Peter are one a date; it’s her birthday dinner. Spinelli says he couldn’t help overhearing, and wanted to wish her many happy returns. He asks if she got his gift, and she says, The Beginner’s Guide to Dungeons & Dragons; so thoughtful. Spinelli says, the nature of the game lends itself to her imagination, and he begins to babble about it, saying how it can be a family effort. She says she has no idea what he’s talking about. Georgie is too young to play. Spinelli says, she won’t always be, and he thinks it could be great family fun.

Nikolas goes to the hospital, and tells Elizabeth, they need to talk. She asks, what’s wrong? and he says, everything with him and Ava. She says she can’t do this, but he says if he doesn’t get some honest advice from someone he respects, he’s going to lose his wife.   

Sonny wonders what Cyrus is doing with Sasha, and Carly says, his guess is as good as hers. She’s been trying to get in touch with Sasha. Sonny asks if she thinks Cyrus has something on her, and Carly says she doesn’t know, but she’s worried. Sasha was at Nina’s apartment last night, and didn’t look good. She hates to say it, but she thinks Sasha is using drugs.

Sasha says Cyrus doesn’t seem like the listening type, and he says, that’s fair. If he makes a mess of it, there’s nothing stopping her from walking away. He promises not to hold it against her, but admits he’d be disappointed. She seems like a friend worth having. She says, he had to help her to her room last night, and just now, he basically said she was a mess. Why would he want to be her friend? He says he enjoys spending time with her. She has a generous heart, given all the things she told him last night before they parted ways. Besides, he has a knack for reading people, and he’s confident their friendship could be mutually beneficial.

Carly tells Sonny, she spent 15 minutes trying to clean Sasha up; fix her hair and makeup. She tried to get Sasha to talk… Sonny says, and…? She says, the way Sasha was acting… and Sonny says, and now she’s having drinks with a drug trafficker.  

Cameron and Josslyn go back to the table, and Trina asks, what’s going on? Cameron tells her, he said he’d be there for her and he will. Trina asks, who wants hot chocolate? and Josslyn says she’ll get it; her treat. Cameron says she’ll probably need help, and follows her. Dev wonders what that’s about, while Darth Vader continues to watch them.  

Cameron asks what Josslyn means, he’s too busy for commitments? She asks if that isn’t what he said, but he says he’s not too busy to help a friend. If that’s what she thinks he implied, she’s misinterpreting it. Dev asks Trina if she thinks they’re okay. Cameron seems tense. She says, everyone is tense. They should just go to the party. They have time to figure it out. Halloween is just one night, and a party awaits.

Portia gets Franco’s chart from a nurse, and looks at a scan.

Nikolas tells Elizabeth, he thinks he screwed things up with Ava. It’s a convoluted and dysfunctional mess. Elizabeth is the only person he trusts to help him figure it out. She says, sorry, but he can’t trust her either.

Ava runs into Julian outside of Charlie’s, and says she came to get a drink. Where is he going? He says, to get some air, and clear his head. Nikolas was there. She asks what Nikolas wanted, and he says Nikolas suspects what Ava is up to with Ryan. He doesn’t know exactly, but he’s close. He wants to send Julian packing on his dime, and give him a shiny new life. She wonders why Nikolas would do that, and Julian says, because of her. If he’s alive, she’s happy, and if she’s happy, Nikolas is happy. Julian thought Ava had hooked Nikolas just to take advantage of him. She says she doesn’t know what to think or believe about Nikolas anymore, but she still has the fake divorce papers; she can use them on Ryan. He asks if she thinks Ryan will go for the papers being real, and she says, they were done by an expert forger. She wouldn’t have known they were fake if Nikolas hadn’t told her. She can convince Ryan for long enough to get the letter back. She’ll be back later, when she really needs a drink. 

Maxie tells Spinelli that she’s happy he suggested a family game. Olive branch accepted. She’ll make time to teach Georgie, but they need to start with something simple, like charades. She says she needs to powder her nose, and leaves. Peter says Spinelli’s about face isn’t lost on him either. He appreciates Spinelli making an effort, but hopes it’s on the level.

Valentin tells Anna, he offered Spinelli work, and Anna says, and Spinelli turned him down. He says, it was the way Spinelli turned him down. He said he’d no sooner work with him than approve of Maxie marrying Peter. Anna says, of course (🍷) Spinelli feels that way, but that doesn’t mean Jason is involved. He says she knows Jason better than he does. Tell him. If Jason thought Peter was a threat… Anna says, Peter’s not a threat. He was exonerated. Obrecht framed him and Jason knows that. They have an arrangement. She told Jason to back off, and he has. She doesn’t think they need to worry about Jason. The doorbell rings, and it’s a registered envelope. Anna signs for it, and comes back in,. Valentin says he hopes she doesn’t mind. He took the liberty of opening a bottle… He looks at her, and says, good Lord. Is she all right? She says, it’s the test results. If Faison had the marker, then it’s over. She’ll never know for certain if Peter is Alex’s son or hers.

Trina wants to take a picture with Darth Vader, her Star Wars long lost family connection. If he doesn’t mind. Darth poses with her, and Cameron takes the photo. Dev is worried they’re going to be late, and Trina tells him, chill. They start to leave, and she turns around to tell Darth, may the force be with you. She’s forgotten her phone on the bar, and it rings. Darth picks it up. He sees a call coming in from Portia, and looks at a picture of Taggert and Trina.   

Franco toddles out to the reception desk, and asks Portia if she’s seen his wife. She says she’ll track Elizabeth down; go back to his room, please. She goes back to the phone, and says, sorry, Terry. The schedule says she’s on call. Is she in the building? She asks if Terry can meet her. She’s in need of an oncology consult.

Nikolas asks why he can’t trust Elizabeth. She’s the only person he can talk to. She says she has no idea what they did with this whole stupid post-nup thing, but when Nikolas and Ava were playing her and Franco, they were playing him and Ava.

At Pentenville, the guard tells Ava that Ryan will be there shortly. Have a seat. She sits on her side of the glass.

Julian grabs Darth Vader, who says he just found the phone. Julian wonders if he’s interested in the phone or the girl it belongs to. He’ll make sure she gets it. He tells Darth to beat it before he calls the cops. Darth says he hasn’t done anything, and Julian says, let’s keep it that way. Get out. They struggle, and the mask comes off. Its Taggert.

Sonny asks Carly if Michael knows about Sasha’s possible habit. She doesn’t think so, and feels she should tell him. She knows Sasha has made mistakes, but she’s a good person. Sonny asks, why get involved? They know what Cyrus really is, and what he wants is to get information.

Sasha tells Cyrus, she’s sorry, but she has to take off. She has an early day tomorrow. He says, it’s okay. Clearly, she has trepidation about him. He imagines she’s heard gossip about him from Michael’s parents. He’ll settle up. She has his number. If she need  someone to talk to, or anything, call him day or night. He always has her well-being in mind. She says, he’s very generous, and goes to the elevator. A man comes out, and hands her a purple envelope, saying, she dropped this. She says she didn’t, but he says, sure she did, and puts it in her hands. He jets, and she looks inside. There’s a baggie of coke in it. The elevator doors close.

Anna tells Valentin, Doc asked about her history with Faison, and she told him how reckless she’d been. He says, maybe she wasn’t, and Faison was with Alex the whole time. She says Valentin is desperate to exonerate her, and he says, she was a double agent. She has blood on her hands, as they all do. He thinks she’s wasted years feeling guilty about something she didn’t do. He doesn’t need proof, but he thinks she does.

Spinelli says that Peter is skeptical of his good intentions is understandable. He assures Peter, he’s doing his best to support Maxie with the utmost sincerity. His perfect wish for her is to have a happy, stable life. Peter says he’s going to do everything in his power to fulfill that wish. Forgive him for doubting. Since he has a new life, a life he never dreamed possible, it’s hard to shake the notion that something, or someone, is waiting to take it away. Maxie comes back, and says, maybe Jenga. Giant Jenga. Peter’s phone rings, and a female voice says, hello, Peter.

Anna takes the results out of the envelope, and says, she has an answer.  

Peter asks, who is this? She says, he doesn’t recognize the voice of his old friend Helena Cassadine? 

Tomorrow, Anna says, it’s nothing but lies; Franco wonders what’s happening to him; Ava tells Ryan what he wanted is delivered; and Jason suggests Cyrus has found an alternate route.

🧟‍♀️ She’s Alive…

I told you she’s not dead. Helena will never die. Neither will Faison. He’ll figure out some way to come back without a brain. Or it was his eviler twin who died.

Southern Charm

It’s a new season, and Cameron (as well as Naomie and Chelsea) has left the show, so no more narration. We started off with different scenes showing various things that happened when the pandemic started. Then…

Six months earlier. Shep’s pup Craig is a little dog now, and the cutest thing. Michael gave Patricia some dog apparel to go through, and she chose a tutu for her new Pomeranian pup Peaches. Human Craig told us he’d been living in a professionally decorated house, and felt like an adult, but a pipe blew, and asbestos went everywhere. Now he’s living with Austen until the house is cleaned up. His pillow company is doing well, and he’s making over 1000 pillows a month. Not him personally, but a manufacturer. I actually love his pillows, although I doubt he would have gotten very far with them without the advantage of being on the show. Austen marveled that a plant Madison had given him was still alive. I identified since I’m terrible with houseplants.

Austen explained that he and Madison had decided to take a break, which IMO means broken up, but they came back together after six months or so. They checked out Instagram, and heard Thomas in the background of one of Kathryn’s posts. Kensie and Saint are getting big, and Kathryn told us, custody has been settled at 50/50 after three years. She said she and Thomas were getting along, and she’s hoping it sticks. Thomas, who made a briefer than brief appearance, looked fat. No judgement, just an observation. In her interview, Kathryn admitted she was staying at his house (see yesterday’s post links – she’s having her townhouse renovated), but they’re not back together. I didn’t think she was that much of an idiot. We flashed back to Kathryn wondering how she was going to explain it to the kids if Thomas went to jail. In her interview, she said her grandmother passed away after a battle, a reprieve, and a final battle with breast cancer, and she thought her grandmother had a lot of guilt in not preparing her for the world – i.e. Thomas. Kathryn wished she could have given her closure.

Madison said she was glad to have a son, since a mini version of her would be a nightmare. Hudson is quite the little man, and she also co-parents with her ex. She said having a child had pushed her to be successful. I wondered, why is she dating Austen then? and apparently, I wasn’t alone in that thought. In her interview, Madison said everyone asked if she’s out of her effing mind, but they just can’t stop. I guess she can’t quit him.

Patricia told Michael that Shep was coming over, and she wondered if they had enough liquor in the house. She tolf Shep that she had a new watchdog, Peaches, and Michael brought out a tiny white cloud of a pup. He told Patricia that he was having a life-is-good party, and wanted it to be nice, but funky; no fox trots. He was considering a Dumb and Dumber theme, and Patricia thought that would be appropriate. He said he was inviting everyone, and Patricia would get to meet new girlfriend Taylor. Patricia asked if he was inviting Madison, and he said, of course. Shep said it didn’t give him joy to have strife in his life, and Patricia said it was a modest start. In Shep’s interview, he said you could fight the elephant in the room, or dance with it. He was going to dance with it. We flashed back to Shep being combative last season, and he admitted he can take things too far. He wanted to slow the process of becoming an angry old man, since he was showing the signs, and started seeing a therapist.

Shep settled on a Dumb and Dumber Formal, and Craig suggested he invite Cameron. In Shep’s interview, he said Cameron hadn’t been hanging around with any of them, since last year left a bad taste in her mouth. He didn’t blame her. Craig and Kathryn met for lunch, and Kathryn ordered a bourbon and Coca Cola. In Kathryn’s interview, she said she went to rehab for weed, and that’s it. She’s at the point now, if she wants a drink, she’ll order one, and it’s nobody’s business. They talked about Shep’s upcoming party, and Kathryn asked about Taylor since they hadn’t met. Craig said he’d cut Shep off for months; Shep was being an a-hole. Kathryn said he’d be a d*ck to her, then act like nothing happened. Craig said, between Taylor and a therapist, Shep was a better person. But not wonderful, since he’s still Shep. In his interview, Craig said Shep is happy when he’s with Taylor, and not a lonely, miserable POS. He said he’d been trying to get Cameron to come out, but she gets mom guilt. Kathryn said she heard Jason was having an affair, but Craig said that was absurd and not true. He said he loved gossiping, but this was out of line.

Taylor and Shep gave dog Craig a bath. Shep explained that he and Taylor had met in a bar. She lied, saying she was a marine biologist and her specialty was shark sex. He grilled her since he knew about shark sex. He didn’t elaborate, and I don’t think I really want to know anyway. They saw each other a little bit here and there, then it became more, and now she’s at his house five nights a week. He says he’d been so single-minded, and single, for so long, it was hard to change. but she was making it easy. She’s blond and cute, and looks like most of the other girls he’s dated. Shep definitely has a type.

While they got ready for the party, Austen asked if Madison was nervous, but she said Shep should be the one who’s nervous. In Madison’s interview, she said if she could forgive a threesome video, she could forgive someone calling her white trash.

Craig met with new cast member Leva, who’s one of Cameron’s best friends. He told Leva about what Kathryn said, but Leva said, no way would Jason have an affair; it was a miserable Kathryn move. WTF? She told Craig, back in the day, Cameron wasn’t so nice to Kathryn – we flashed back to that – and it was Kathryn’s way of getting back at Cameron. She thought there also might be some jealousy, or maybe Kathryn felt alive in the middle of drama. I’d thought it was all good at the end of the last reunion, but who knows what happened between then and now.

I wasn’t sure how Dumb and Dumber was supposed to factor in, but I guess it was the attire. Austen wore a powder blue top hat, and Shep had a matching ruffled tuxedo shirt. Madison wore black and white striped pants with orange suspenders, which I thought was closer to Beetlejuice, but I don’t really know Dumb and Dumber that well. I saw it, but it was like, a million years ago. Shep also invited a guy named Peter, who apparently slept with Madison at some point. Somehow this ended up in the conversation, and Peter’s girlfriend Liz wasn’t too pleased.  In Shep’s interview, the producer asked if he’d invited them to screw with Madison, but he said he didn’t even know they’d slept together until it came out at the party. Shep admitted to having planned things like that in the past, and we flashed back to when he invited Austen’s threesome girls to a party Austen and Madison were at. He told the producer, it hadn’t crossed his mind that it would be a problem. In Madison’s interview, she said when she saw Peter and Liz, she knew Shep hadn’t changed, and that bitch was trying to set her up. Entertaining a one-night stand she’d had when she was single, was on him. Whitney escorted Patricia, who she said she’d thought Shep had been kidding about Dumb and Dumber. We met new cast member John, who has two sons in San Diego, and just moved back to Charleston. He’s a nice looking dude; a little shaggy, but I like it.

Patricia wondered where the food was, and in her interview, said you can’t have a party and serve liquor without serving something to eat. It was a typical Shep party; not her kind of party. I wondered where the seats were too, since I saw zero pieces of furniture other than the bar and a couple of tables. In Patricia’s interview, she said Madison acted like a grown-up, and Austen was a child. She thought Madison needed someone successful and ambitious. Not a frat boy. John made the rounds, and we saw a clip of him playing guitar and singing. His attractiveness rating went up a few points since he’s pretty good.

Kathryn told Craig that Cameron had texted her regarding what she’d said about Jason. Craig admitted he’d told Cameron that Kathryn said rumor had it, Jason was having an affair, even though he’d promised not to say anything. Kathryn said she was glad he was being honest, although I can’t imagine she didn’t want to thump him in the head. In her interview, Kathryn told us that Cameron said, give her a break, and be a good human. Kathryn said she was, but she doesn’t give a flying what Cameron thinks. Cameron had hurt her to the core, and Cameron’s an a-hole.

This season, Madison breaks up with Austen; Leva wants to see change in this town; Thomas gets a girl pregnant, and ♫ she’s havin’ his baby ♫; Leva confronts Kathryn about her white privilege; Madison and Kathryn argue; covid hits; and the monkey emoji is addressed.

😉 What a Tease…

Craig talks about what’s ahead this season.

📡 Breaking Craig…

Saying, I don’t know what happened, but something happened, is hardly opening up.

‘Southern Charm’: Craig Conover Finally Breaks His Silence After Naomie Olindo, Chelsea Meissner Quit

👰🏻 Don’t Be Their Guest…

I’m sure there are worse guests than Shep.

🍑 The Peach Is Back…

RHOA is back for another round.

👶 Project Baby…

My first thought was, but how will this affect the next Project Runway? Will it be a special pregnancy edition?

https://people.com/parents/karlie-kloss-pregnant-expecting-first-child-josh-kushner/

🧹 They’re Ba-a-ack…

The Sanderson sisters return.

https://www.newsbreak.com/news/2091416031119/bette-midler-confirms-original-hocus-pocus-cast-will-return-for-sequel

🎃 Classically Halloween…

I wouldn’t call all of them classic, but here’s Purewow’s list of very decent horror films. Since I love the genre, some of my personal favorites are Reeker (an unfortunate title for a good movie), Ravenous, Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse: Death Proof/Planet Terror (each is good on their own as well), The (original) Howling, American Werewolf in London, and 13 Ghosts (the remake with Tony Shalhoub). My all-time favorite film to watch on Halloween is The Midnight Hour, but it’s a little difficult to get your hands on. It was a TV movie from the 70s, starring LeVar Burton and Shari Belafonte, and I had to buy a bootleg DVD since I had zero luck finding it. It’s not exactly scary, although it has a couple of moments, but it epitomizes Halloween for me.

https://www.purewow.com/entertainment/classic-scary-movies

👻 Counting the Hours…

The trick-or-treating seems to be an iffy proposition at this moment, but regardless, the dogs and I will be dressing up, and eating our traditional Halloween meal of Taco Bell’s Nachos BellGrande. Whether you’re counting down or not, stay safe, stay inventive, and stay not getting involved in someone’s personal life. Have someone else do it for you.

October 28, 2020 – Dante Gives Michael a Brotherly Lecture, Shannon Has a Party, Elizabeth Rechristened, Charm’s Here, News Of the South, Not All In, a Picture Show To Remember & Big Bad

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At the vending machine, Franco apologizes to Epiphany, saying, he didn’t realize she was waiting. He had a hard time making a decision. She looks at the machine, and says, did he just take the last chocolate bar? He says, did he? and she says she’s just spent the last solid eight hours in pencil pushing hell. The only thing that made it bearable was knowing there was a chocolate bar waiting, and he seized the last one. He asks if she wants half, and she says she wants satisfaction. She wants justice. She wants her old job back. Cyrus appears, and says that’s not all she’ll get with that attitude.

Chase finds Brook at The Floating Rib, and he says he’s been looking for her. She congratulates him, adding, he found her. She’s alone; no Valentin. She’ll be out of his hair soon, and he can go back to his awesome life. He says, clearly, she’s never looked in his underwear drawer. She asks why she would do that, and he says she’d see there aren’t any G-strings.  

Michael punches the heavy bag, and thinks about Willow. Dante asks what he’s angry about, but Michael says he’s just letting off steam. Dante says he thought Michael was going to town on the bag because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing Willow.

Elizabeth runs into Willow at the hospital, and says, it’s been a while. Willow says she was given time off for the custody hearing, and Elizabeth tells her, congratulations. She asks if Willow is back at work, but Willow says, actually, she was notified that they don’t need a full-time teacher, so she’s looking at her next step. She shows Elizabeth a booklet, and Elizabeth says she’s applying for the nurse’s training program. Willow says she’s fortunate to have the option. It’s one way her life has never been better. Mostly. Things are going so well, she and Michael are getting an annulment.

Carly is hugging Jax, when Nina and Sasha walk in. Carly tells Nina, just the person she needed to see. Nina says she’s surprised to see Carly, and tells Jax that she’s sorry she had to abandon him, but glad to see he has company. He asks how it went with Curtis, and she says Curtis has a new lead, and she’s a step closer to finding her child. Jax says, congratulations, and Carly says she didn’t know the search was back on. Nina says she didn’t broadcast it. Sasha says Nina has company, and it’s been a helluva day. She’s going to take off. Nina says she’s not, since she’s not feeling well.   

Ava sees a romantic table set, and smells a rose. There’s a storm going on, and Nikolas is on the terrace. She joins him, and he says he sees she got his message. She says, it’s lovely, and stormy. Tell her why he lured her out there. We see Ava has a knife behind her back, and Nikolas says he didn’t lure her out. He invited her. She says he’s not the first person to invite her out there. She’s sure he remembers what happened; he witnessed it firsthand. He says, he did. Then he saved her life. She says, then hours later, they were married. It was a whirlwind. He says, that’s one word, and she says, any regrets? He says, hundreds. Her? She says, the same, and he asks what she’s holding behind her back. She says, insurance, and he asks if she thinks he’d go through all this trouble to toss her back in the harbor. She says she thinks it would be a permanent solution to their situation, but he says, believe it or not, he doesn’t want her dead. She says he just wants the family fortune all to himself, and he says, it is his family’s fortune. She says, not to mention Elizabeth.

Brook says Chase wouldn’t know what to do with a G-string if he had a fistful of singles. He says he’s trying to charm her after being a jerk, but she says she gets enough of that from her father. Just because she’s staying with Chase, doesn’t give him the right to weigh in on her life. He says he knows that, and if she’d stop talking, she could hear him. He’s saying he’s sorry.

Nina tells Sasha where the shower is, and says there’s a fluffy robe with her name on it. Take all the time she needs. Sasha says, it sounds great, but… Nina insists, and Sasha goes to the bathroom. Jax asks, what’s wrong with Sasha? and Carly says, she doesn’t look good. Nina says it’s not her place to say, but trust her. She wouldn’t have brought Sasha back if she didn’t think it was absolutely necessary.

Willow tells Elizabeth, she and Michael got married to protect Wiley from Nelle. Nelle isn’t a threat now, so staying married isn’t necessary. Elizabeth asks if Willow will still be a part of Wiley’s life, and Willow says, absolutely. Elizabeth says, if that’s what Willow feels is best, she’s happy for her. It’s no one’s business but theirs. Although sometimes people who have to craziest reasons for getting married, and the marriages you think will crash and burn, are the ones that last.

Michael tells Dante, he’s not losing Willow. They’re going to stay together until the annulment is finalized, and afterwards, they’re going to be co-parents. Dante says it sounds like they have it sorted out, and Michael says they made the decision together. Dante has one question. Did Michael say what he said to Willow because it’s what he wanted, or was it what he thought she wanted to hear?

Cyrus says he’s sorry it took so long to make Franco’s acquaintance, and introduces himself. Franco says he knows who Cyrus is; he saw his picture in the company newsletter. Epiphany adds, and on the news. Franco says Cyrus is a busy fella, and Epiphany says, he is. Firing half the staff and alienating the rest. Cyrus is sorry to hear about the low morale, and promises to bring it up to Britt. Franco says, everyone just wants to be heard, and Cyrus says he has a few minutes if Franco wants to meet with him, but Franco says tonight, some of them go to The Floating Rib. It’s karaoke night. Cyrus says, it sounds fun; he won’t keep Franco from it, but the door is open. He starts to walk away, but Franco says, hold on. How’s his singing voice? Want to be Simon to his Garfunkel?

Nikolas asks where Ava is getting the idea about him and Elizabeth, and she asks if she’s wrong. There must be at least a little something to it. He flashes back to kissing Elizabeth, and he says, in this case something is nothing. She says she knew it, and he says, fine. What he and Elizabeth have goes beyond friendship. In his darkest moments, he’s reached out to her, but it’s because they share a history; not because he wants to be with her. Ava says, that’s the most eloquent rationalization she’s ever heard. He says, look him in the eye, and tell him that she’s never sought out something she’s not getting from their marriage. She thinks back to kissing Franco, and he says he thought so. She tells him, she didn’t say anything, and he says she’s not as good a poker player as she thinks. She says he begged her, trapping her into what she thought was a fairytale romance. He says she asked him to talk about things, and he told her about his feelings. She says, so? What are words? Hot air without the action to back them up. To prove he wants her… He says he has to divorce her. Done.

Cyrus thanks Franco for the kind invitation, but he doesn’t want to infringe on the staff’s private event. Franco says it’s not like they close the place; everyone is welcome. Cyrus says, in that case, he has work to finish up. Perhaps he’ll see them later. He leaves, and Epiphany looks at Franco. He says, what? and she says he’d better run. Run.

Chase tells Brook, sorry for coming on too strong, but she says she’s actually impressed. He almost turned her around. He says, it’s working for him then, and she ask what’s the rest. As long as he’s not going to tell her that he’s kicking her out on the street.

Jax asks if Sasha needs a doctor, but Nina tells him not to push it. It was all she could do to get Sasha there. Carly says she’ll talk to Sasha, and Nina tries to stop her, but she keeps going. Nina tells Jax, even when Carly means well, she’s impossible. He says, she did bring wine, and Nina says, red wine. He says, Carly wanted to apologize for the scene she caused in the cemetery, and Nina says, when she accidentally pushed over Nelle’s gravestone? The only thing Carly is sorry about is Nina caught her

Sasha goes into the bathroom, and takes out her baggie of coke. Carly knocks on the door, and Sasha says she just needs a minute. Carly says, let her in, but Sasha keeps trying to get a hit of coke together using her Amex card. Her hands shake.

Dante says Michael doesn’t want an annulment? and Michael says, if it was up to him, they’d find a way to stay together, and make the marriage real. Make a life together, for Wiley’s sake, but also for themselves. Dante asks if Michael said this to her, and Michael says, of course (🍷) not. Dante says Michael wants to set Willow free from her obligation. He’s an idiot.

Willow tells Elizabeth, after Chase, she can’t think of starting something new. Michael has so much to give that’s going to waste in their so-called marriage. Elizabeth says she’s known Michael a long time. He’s a decent guy. Willow says, for the past few months, she’s been lucky to see that every day; how he is with Wiley and his family. Michael is honorable and kind, and sees the best in people. He should be able to share that with someone. Elizabeth says, it sounds like he already is.

Brook asks Chase to just give her more time, and he says he will. Eventually, she’ll have to find another place though. Brook says, don’t tell her to go back to her father, and Chase tells her not to worry. He was recently reminded that bringing families together by force of will isn’t in his skill set. She thanks him, and says she’ll definitely find a new situation. Not tonight though. She has other plans. He asks what they are, so he can disapprove of them, and I laugh. She shows him a flyer that says, Karaoke Night.   

Dante tells Michael, don’t make life altering decisions based on what you think another person wants. It’s stupid, or at least a disappointment and a regret. It’s not fair to Willow either. Michael asks what he should do, and Dante says, be honest. Tell her how he feels, and let her decide. Don’t think the only decent thing is to separate. Michael says Willow deserves someone to be in love with, and they’re not in love. Dante asks how he knows, and Willow walks in. She asks if she’s interrupting.   

Carly tells Sasha, open up; she’s worried. Sasha pops out, and says, all hers, but Carly says, nice try, and turns Sasha around. She tells Sasha to look in the mirror. Does she really want to go out looking like that? What’s a nice girl like her doing with a face like that? Sasha says she’s not that nice, and Carly says, really? Is she coming down with a cold? Sasha says she’s fine, but Carly says she doesn’t look fine.

Jax tells Nina, he knows how it looks, but he and Carly talked. She had no intention of knocking over Nelle’s headstone. She says he doesn’t have to lobby for Carly anymore. It’s nice that Carly came over with wine – red wine – and she apologized. They never have to speak about Nelle again. Jax is sorry it came to this. It will be a while before Carly stops looking over her shoulder. Nina doesn’t doubt it, and says it’s great Carly has him in her corner. Carly is Josslyn’s mother, and other people might not understand their relationship, but she does. He asks, what other people?

Back at the table, Ava asks what Nikolas is doing. He says, divorcing her. It’s what she said she needs for him to prove he’s not playing her. He lifts a dish cover, and underneath is a rolled up document. He says, voila! takes it off the plate, and tells her, the pages are flagged where she needs to sign. He’s following the conditions of the post-nup to the letter, and relinquishing 90% of the estate to her. Ava asks, what’s the catch? and he says, no catch. She says, of course (🍷) there is. She wonders if it’s some kind of trap, and he says, there is a price. She says, here it comes, and he says she can have everything she asked for – money, property, material things – but she can’t have him.

At The Floating Rib, Franco tells Epiphany that he did a good thing. She says, inviting the devil himself to their safe space? He says, even the devil gets lonely, and Elizabeth suggests he buy them round. She steers Epiphany to a table, and asks, what’s going on with her? Epiphany says, nothing; certainly nothing she wants to bring up at karaoke. Elizabeth asks how much they’ve been through, and how many times they’ve had each other’s backs, and Epiphany says, more times than she can count. Elizabeth says, then tell her, and Epiphany starts cry. She says she and Milo are breaking up, and I make a sad face.

Jax asks Nina what she means by other people. Did someone say something? She says, it’s not important. She wishes they were the only people in the relationship, but Carly will always be a part of his life. When co-parents get along… people talk. He says, all it is, is talk. They’re just two people trying to do the best for their daughter.   

Sasha thanks Carly for her concern, but it doesn’t matter if she’s fine. Carly says she’s wrong, and doesn’t think Michael would agree. Sasha says she went out of her way to make sure her life is none of Michael’s business. Carly says she did it to protect Wiley from Nelle. If Michael knew what she did, the sacrifices she made, and that she was still hurting, he’d have something say. Sasha says, he won’t. Michael finally has Wiley, and Wiley has Michael, and they both have Willow. They’re a family now, and she can’t take that away from them. Even if she could, she wouldn’t, and neither should Carly. She walks out, leaving Carly with her mouth hanging open.

Michael tells Willow that he was in the middle of a brotherly lecture. Dante says he hopes Michael sees the benefit in his wisdom, and takes his advice. Willow says, if it came from Dante, it must be worthwhile, and Dante tells Michael, his wife is a wise woman. Willow says her class is about to start. She took a Ride Share there, and was hoping to go home with him. He says he’s still got to work out, so he can wait. She says she’ll see him later, and leaves. Dante says he rests his case.

Chase says, Brook is going to sing? He thought the doctors said she couldn’t. She says, they told her it was unlikely, not impossible. He says, so she’s going to get up there and see what happens? She says, it can’t hurt to try.

Franco stands at the bar, and Cyrus comes in. He tells Franco, this round is on him.

Elizabeth tells Epiphany that she’s sorry. What happened with Milo? Epiphany says, Milo has been away, traveling and opening gyms for the franchise across the country. They haven’t seen each other in months. Meanwhile, she’s become a paper pusher. Elizabeth says, Milo adores her. She can’t imagine they can’t make it work. Epiphany tells her, he said he’d come back, and Elizabeth says, great, but Epiphany says she told him no. It’s not the same anymore. As much as she hates to admit it, they’ve grown apart. Elizabeth asks how she can help, and Epiphany says, first, she doesn’t want a fuss made. Elizabeth says Epiphany can’t keep it inside; she has to let it out. Brook takes the stage, and Epiphany says, not another word about it. I note that Brook doesn’t have much of a scar. She tries to sing, but struggles. She says, wrong key, puts the mic down, and runs out. Chase goes after her. This is driving me nuts, since I’ve sung most of my life, and Brook is supposed to be a professional. I doubt she would have just gotten up there without even attempting to practice first, or even warm up, and she sure gave up easy. Instead of saying, wrong key, she should have said, too soon. It’s not like everyone doesn’t know what happened. This is frustrating the hell out of me.

Ava asks what Nikolas is trying to pull, and he asks if she thinks he wants to sign the papers. Of course (🍷) he doesn’t. He had them drawn up to force her hand; get her to move forward with the marriage or end it. She says, it’s an elaborate ultimatum, and he says, it’s a gamble that their night in the cabin wasn’t a one-off. Tell him she feels the same way. He thought instead of signing the papers, they’d burn them together. Ava says, there are certain considerations. There are people who will be affected if they end the marriage. He says he took a leap and owned up to his feelings. Do the same, or he’ll have to admit he’s a jackass. She says, of course (🍷) she has feelings, but it complicates things. He says it’s simple, they’ll stay married, but she says certain people may be made to pay if they remain married. Let her think things through; she needs a minute. She walks away, her back to him, and he says, once and for all, decide now. She doesn’t realize how close he is to her, and when she turns around, she stabs him accidentally, her knife going into his abdomen. I gasp out loud. I was not expecting that.

Sasha comes back out, and Nina asks if she found everything okay. The guest room is down the hall. Sasha says she’s not staying, but Nina says she should. They can have breakfast tomorrow. Sasha says it’s kind of Nina to bring her there, despite everything. She just needed a moment to catch her breath. Don’t give her another thought. She jets, and Carly comes out. In the hallway, Sasha makes a call. She says she needs a refill. She’ll be there in 15.   

Michael does crunches in the ring, and Willow walks back in. He asks if her class was canceled, but she says she blew it off. Curiosity got the best of her. She wanted to hear Dante’s advice in person. Michael says, Dante left, but she says he can tell her. He says, Dante thinks they should stay together. Those weren’t his exact words, but it was the overall idea. She says the closer they get to the annulment, the more fans they have. He says he was thinking the same thing. He says he’ll get cleaned up, and she says, her too – even though she didn’t have a class. She says she’ll meet him back there, and gives a lingering look to his back before she walks out.

Chase finds Brook outside and asks her to come back. They can sing a duet. She’ll sound like an angel in comparison. Highly doubtful, since I still remember him singing Feel It Still for the Nurses Ball, and he rocked. He says maybe she jumped in too soon. Now that she has that out of the way, he knows she has another performance in her. She says, that wasn’t a performance; it was her swan song. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

Franco brings Cyrus over to the table, and says, look who made it. Epiphany tells Elizabeth, she’s back in hell again, and Cyrus asks if anyone has seen the songbook. Elizabeth hands it to him, and Franco jokes that he’s probably a fan of Miley Cyrus. What does he want? Gilbert and Sullivan? Sammy Hagar? Cyrus says, the 70s, and Franco tells him, pull up a chair. Epiphany says, not today, Satan, and gets up to sing. Franco says, she’s having a bad day. Epiphany sings. I give up trying to find out the titles, but it’s something about waiting, and debating if her love will come back to her.

As Epiphany sings, we see Michael in the shower, pondering. He turns around, and Willow is there in a towel. She lets the towel fall, and I’m not sure I’m on board with this. He drops his towel, and they move closer. Okay, now I’m guessing this isn’t real because they keep switching to them being alone.

Ava takes out the knife, and tells Nikolas, he’s bleeding. He says, yeah; he’s been stabbed. She drops the knife, and takes off his shirt. Is this some kind of weird foreplay? They kiss…

Afterwards (we assume), Nikolas says, well…? and Ava says they’re going to have to do something about these, and picks up the divorce papers. He says, it doesn’t matter; they’re not real. He wasn’t going to risk anything. She’s too proud to admit she’s crazy about him. Now he’s sure. She calls him an arrogant SOB, and he asks, is it arrogant if he’s right? She takes the papers, and opens the door. He asks where she’s going, and she says, to find the cyanide. She leaves, and he smiles. He says, she likes me. She really likes me.

Chase tells Brook, it’s going to be okay. She says, it will be something, but it will never be okay. If she can’t do the one thing that gives her purpose, what purpose does she have?

Everyone applauds for Epiphany. Cyrus says he can’t imagine how anyone can follow her, and Franco says, if anyone could, it’s the Chairman with Sinatra. Cyrus says he could be persuaded. His phone dings, and he says, however, he’ll have to take a raincheck. Epiphany says, convenient, and he promises to revisit. I’m very disappointed.

Carly says she tried talking to Sasha, but Sasha wouldn’t hear her. Nina says, maybe Sasha heard, but didn’t agree. Carly says, Sasha needs help, but Nina says she can’t keep Sasha against her will. She did the best she could, at least for tonight. Carly says she can do better, like it’s a competition, and leaves.    

Willow meets Michael, and they leave the gym together.

In an alleyway on the phone, Sasha asks, where the hell are you? Don’t leave me hanging. The dealer hangs up, and she throws her phone, saying, dammit. Cyrus comes along, and says, there are cheaper ways to channel her frustration. What’s the trouble, and how can he help? 

Elizabeth says she’ll be right back, and Franco tells Epiphany that she sounded great. Epiphany thanks him, and says she’s decided he can have the chocolate bar. He says, good, because he already ate it. He’ll get her next time. She says he can get another round, and she’ll call it even. He gets up, and she says she hopes he knows how good he has it with Elizabeth. He says, doorknob. She tells him, say that again? and he keels over.

Tomorrow, it’s Halloween in Port Charles, Valentin thinks Peter has a Spinelli problem, Ava hopes Nikolas can forgive her, Nikolas says he’ll save Julian’s sorry ass, Cyrus tells Sasha that they can have a mutually beneficial friendship, and Carly tells Sonny that she thinks Sasha is a drugs.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Shannon talked to John about her concern that Emily was dismissive with her. John told her she didn’t have to be best friends with Emily; just be okay. Elizabeth and Kelly met Gina at Farmhouse for dinner. Elizabeth said there was a gag order over her divorce details, but she was going to have a great party afterward, where she’d spill everything. Gina didn’t understand how Elizabeth was not having sex with Jimmy, and in her interview, Kelly thought that he had to be getting something done. Elizabeth said she liked Shannon, and Gina said Shannon had kicked her under the bus, saying her house was sad and depressing. In her interview, Gina said don’t bring her 9 lemons in an f-ing bowl, then say sh*t about her. She felt Shannon wasn’t authentic. Kelly said Emily had tried with Shannon too, but it wasn’t easy. They talked about how much better 2020 was going to be than 2019, and I laaaaughed.

Braunwyn said she was a basket case, either being so happy or so miserable that she wanted to jump out of her skin. In her interview, she said the only thing that might be bigger than her problem with alcohol was her love for her kids. She told Sean that she hadn’t been as present as she should have been, and realized she wasn’t a good mom. She didn’t know how she let it get so bad so fast. It was the one thing she wanted to be good at, and she wasn’t. He told her it was going to be okay. Lots of okay stuff today, both on GH and this.

Kelly took possession of her new house, which looked huge, especially with nothing in it. She told us it was 4500 square feet, with a pool and spa, but it’s suburbia. She met with her interior designer, and in her interview, she said the moms there were buttoned up, prim and proper, and cooking with aprons on. It was a Beaver Cleaver neighborhood. She said Shannon was a Stepford Wife, and she was scared she was going to turn into that. Rick had lived in NYC forever, and was ready to settle down, but she was mostly doing it for Jolie, who wanted to be in a family community. She wanted Jolie to have the best childhood possible, and see what a good relationship was like. She said it goes by fast. Truth!

Braunwyn picked up Shannon to go see Dr. Moon, and told Shannon about going to her first AA meeting. Braunwyn admitted that she’d told Emily about Shannon saying Gina’s house was sad. In Shannon’s interview, she insisted she hadn’t said that, and told Braunwyn that she had to set the record straight. Shannon said her fear was that Dr. Moon was getting older. She wondered what she was going to do when he retired. Braunwyn told Dr. Moon that her life had become unmanageable (part of the first step in the twelve), and she’d been drinking and hiding it. His solution was to stick a needle in the middle of her ear, which he said was for addiction. In her interview, Braunwyn said she was more grateful for Shannon’s support. Shannon made the usual loud noises when Dr. Moon needled her in the back of the neck for a sacroiliac problem. (I’ll have you know, I spelled that right on the first try.) In her interview, Shannon said she was trying to help Braunwyn, who was making her look bad and putting words in her mouth. It was the ultimate betrayal. I dunno about that. I could probably think of worse things.

Emily said she’d never had relationship or friendship with Shannon, and was going to her housewarming party. On a side note, we found out Shannon’s kids aren’t allowed to swear until they’re 18. Shannon gave her house a once-over, which I totally understood. I should have done that when I discovered a pair of underwear thrown on a chair after a party, and I don’t mean by a guest who had too good of a time. They were my underwear. I was mortified. In her interview, Braunwyn said she hadn’t figured out how to navigate her bedroom yet, but she was going to a party. She wanted a drink badly, but couldn’t say anything, or she’d be that weird alcoholic girl. I dunno about that either, but her friends would definitely not want to drink in front of her. At least if they’re decent people. Oh yeah. I forgot, we’re talking Housewives here. Someone would probably yell at her, and then put her under a microscope, while they guzzled pinot in front of her the whole time.  

When Gina saw Shannon’s house, she said she could see why Shannon would say hers was sad. Her home could fit inside Shannon’s home. It was like a Polly Pocket home. Gina jumped on Shannon the second she got there, but Shannon insisted Braunwyn was the only one talking smack about Gina’s house. Moving whichever way the wind is blowing, Gina said she didn’t trust Braunwyn. In Shannon’s interview, she said she was grateful Gina believed her, but she was angry that Braunwyn put words in her mouth. Yeah, yeah, the ultimate betrayal. Shannon told Gina that she was a renter, but Gina was an owner, and there was nothing sad about Gina’s life right now.

In her interview, Emily said part of her would like to imagine Shannon wanted her at the party, but she knows Shannon doesn’t. Shannon’s dad Gene arrived with his young girlfriend, and when Kelly was introduced, she called him big d*ck daddy from Cincinnati. In Shannon’s interview, she said she’d never call someone’s father that, but I say, it depends on the father. FYI, not this guy. Shannon didn’t waste time taking Braunwyn aside, and told Braunwyn that she was hearing wrong. She hadn’t called Gina’s place sad. That wasn’t even in her vocabulary. Braunwyn stuck by her memory, saying she’d been totally sober, while Shannon had a couple of drinks, but Shannon insisted she was wrong. Braunwyn said either Shannon was lying or she didn’t remember, and Shannon said Braunwyn crossed the line. Shannon ended the conversation by saying how dare Braunwyn do this at her party, and I had to laugh when Braunwyn said she wasn’t the one who brought it up. Another truth! Shannon made a beeline for Emily, telling her that she never said Gina’s house was sad. In Braunwyn’s interview, she said every time she’s tried to be nice to Gina, it’s gotten thrown back in her face. We flashed back to all the times Gina has shut Braunwyn down, and it looks to me that Gina just plain doesn’t like Braunwyn. And I don’t think anything is going to change her mind. Braunwyn told Sean she didn’t know where to go from here.

Shannon made it sound like Braunwyn had accused her of being drunk, and in her interview, said Braunwyn was now using her sobriety as a weapon. Like always, they played telephone, and by the time Gina repeated what Shannon had said, Braunwyn claimed Shannon was so wasted. Gina brought up the text from Sean, and Emily thought it wasn’t unreasonable that she found it creepy, in context of his and Braunwyn’s lifestyle. A love shack! A sex apartment! Threesomes! In Elizabeth’s interview, she said she’d never seen women act like this, and Braunwyn was just as big of a nut. Shannon, who’d told Braunwyn earlier that she’d never do two against one, attacked Sean and Braunwyn with Emily, Gina, and Kelly in attendance. Emily thought Braunwyn was pretentious, and Shannon told Sean, maybe they should start being authentic. Gina said Braunwyn looks down on her because she doesn’t have as much money as they do. We flashed back to some instances where Braunwyn said something Gina didn’t like, and I see it as Gina being the one who feels defensive about not having money. Gina got in Braunwyn’s face, screeching that Braunwyn was a sloppy chihuahua, and wasted all the time. She told Braunwyn to go get wasted again, which is really nice, and Braunwyn said she was 30 days sober today, bitch. Braunwyn ran off, telling Gina, f*** you!

Next time, the party continues, Braunwyn never wants see them again, Kelly thinks Braunwyn is better when she drinks, Braunwyn insists Shannon isn’t telling the truth, and Shannon says she doesn’t move on when people call her a liar. Great. We’ll be on this for the rest of the season.

👀 Elizabeth and Gina were guests tonight on Watch What Happens Live. I really like Elizabeth. She kind of reminds me of Garcelle on RHOBH. She stays above the fray, and laughs a lot. She said she was surprised she’d been chosen to become a Real Housewife, especially with the pandemic going on. Her divorce had been finalized, and we found out she and Jimmy finally had sex. Or as she put it, she’d been officially rechristened. I tried to ignore Gina, since she’s on a par with Teddi for me. She’s a follower, and an a-hole. Both the guests and audience were remote, and it was actually kind of fun. The Countess made a guest appearance, and sang Viva la Diva, while the audience danced in their Zoom boxes. Under normal circumstances, you rarely see the audience, so it had a different vibe. The sound people also made LuAnn sound a lot better than she really does, unless she’s been taking lessons. I want those people for karaoke. If I ever see karaoke again. I miss singing… and bourbon… sniff…

🍹 Don’t forget – The new season of Southern Charm begins tomorrow – i.e. Thursday.

👩🏽‍🏫 Brush Up On Your Charm…

New cast member and first woman of color on the show. She looks a lot like Lily Ghalichi from Shahs of Sunset.

Might Shep finally be settling down? Omg, he’s 40. He should probably pick a lane now.

Kathryn co-parents up close and personal.

One of the few really decent people in reality TV.

https://extratv.com/2020/10/15/reality-stars-eliza-limehouse-and-mark-struthers-mcbride-jr-expecting-first-child-weeks-after-their-wedding/

🍋 The Stirrer Gets Stirred…

I wouldn’t last two seconds in this program. I’d be All Out.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-ca/2020/09/10030895/all-in-by-teddi-mellencamp-diet-business-scam-twitter

👠 Because It’s That Time Of Year…

And because I was the first one to throw something. True story.

https://nypost.com/2020/09/25/how-rocky-horror-went-from-tiny-musical-to-filthy-phenom/

⏰ The Clock Is Ticking…

It’s almost Halloween, and also almost time to change the clocks. Don’t forget to fall behind an hour this weekend. Yay! I’ll finally get some sleep. No I won’t. And also don’t forget to stay safe, stay truthful, and stay not being the one who takes the last chocolate bar from the vending machine. Especially if Epiphany is behind you.

February 3, 2020 – Brando Speaks, Oops, Chalk Up Another Deck, a New Deck, Unsure, Your Crew, More Sailing, He Belongs, Bowling Puppies & Here Already

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

I missed the very beginning because that guy was still talking, but it’s an easy catch-up.

Sonny tells Carly that his dad was chatting up the waitress. It was like he was his old self, and called Sonny son, like he used to. Then everything went to hell. Carly says she’s so sorry, and Sonny asks why she’s still in the ER. She says, Gladys, and Sonny asks if she’s hurt. Carly says, no. She’s fine, but her son was shot. Brando.

Gladys tells Brando, she knows she said he was dead to her, but she wished she could take back the words a million times. She tried, but he didn’t return her calls. She sits, and says, suddenly, Brando showed up at Sonny’s warehouse. Has he forgiven her?

Carly tells Sonny, the shooting started, and she crawled for cover. The bullets were getting closer, and all of a sudden, a man was there, and shielded her. He got shot, but Carly thought he was one of Sonny’s guys. When the shooting stopped, Gladys came out, went to him, and said his name. She was surprised, and to be honest, Gladys was too. She was really trapped and couldn’t run. That man saved her life.

Brando asks why Gladys is there, and how she got mixed up with Sonny. Sonny comes in, and asks Gladys for some privacy. She starts to protest, but he says, out, please. She goes, and Sonny says, so he’s Gladys’s son. Brando says, and he’s Sonny. Sonny says his family was ambushed, and nearly killed. He wants Brando to tell him what he was doing in the warehouse when it happened.

Gladys tells Carly that Brando is doing well; they had the most wonderful reunion. Carly says Gladys told them that he was dead. She played the grieving mother act to the hilt, when she knew he was alive. Why? Gladys says she shouldn’t have done that; not with Carly and Sonny. She’s sorry. Carly says she should be, and Gladys says, when Brando came back from the war, he wasn’t himself. Carly says, that happens to a lot of guys, but their mothers don’t go around telling everyone that they’re dead. Gladys says Brando got mixed up with some bad people, and the truth was embarrassing. It was easier to say he was dead. She told everyone he’d been redeployed and killed in Iraq. Carly says Gladys lied about being a gold-star mother; that’s terrible. Gladys agrees, and says she didn’t know where he was or what he was doing with his life. Carly says Brando knew what Gladys was doing with hers, and holds up picture of Gladys and Dev.

Brando tells Sonny that he doesn’t know anything about the ambush. He came looking for his mother. Sonny asks if Gladys told him that she was there, and Brando says, not exactly. He saw her MyFace page, and she said she was staying with Mike’s family. Sonny asks what Brando knows about him and his family, and Brando says, not much. He doesn’t think Sonny knows much about him either. Sonny says Brando came to his place of business, and Brando says when he got to the warehouse, it was under attack. He could see through the door, and saw a woman who was pinned down, so he covered her while she could get to a secure position. Sonny says that was his wife. She said Brando saved her life. Brando says he just reacted, and Sonny says he knows Brando was in the service and was trained well. Brando’s mother told them he was dead. Does he know anything about that?

Michael says his family is under attack, and he has no idea who wants them dead. Jax says, it’s because of his father’s business. Josslyn wonders if Brando knows about Dev. If he doesn’t, he could blow everything. Dev asks if he’s getting sent back to Turkey.

Nelle shows up to move in at the Quartermaine mansion, but Brook says Nelle tried to kill Michael; he hates her. Nelle says Michael is confused, and to tell him that she’s there. Brook says, it’s late, and Michael is probably out with his girlfriend, but Nelle says Brook is just looking for an excuse to avoid the truth. Brook says, Michael would have told Monica – it’s her house. Nelle says when she was pregnant with Michael’s baby, she and Monica were close, and Monica was nice to her. Brook says she tried to kill Michael. Monica won’t forgive or forget; no more than the rest of them. Nelle can’t be so delusional that she can’t see how Michael despises her. Even if he forgave her – and that’s a huge if – why would she want to live there?

At the hospital, Willow asks Brad, please accept the help. He says she’s concerned about Nelle, but does she hear herself? Willow says, it’s not about her; it’s about Wiley. Brad has to be strong. Brad says, after everything he’s gone through since he and Lucas brought the baby home; he’s walked through fire for that kid.

Nikolas tells an unconscious Laura, he was planning revenge on Valentin, when he should have spent the years with her and Spencer. Instead, he turned from everyone he loves, and let darkness in. Now that he finally understands that, it may be too late.

Willow tells Brad, that’s what parents do; they’d do anything for their children. She knows how hard it’s been without Lucas. Wiley’s kidnapping was scary for all of them, but it’s over. Brad says, it’s not over. He still has nightmares. He and Lucas took turns sleeping in Wiley’s room; they didn’t let him out of their sight. She says she gets it, but Wiley is safe now, and healthy. Brad asks if she thinks that’s enough. Carly is always hovering, and so is Bobbie. She says, they’re Wiley’s family, and they love him. He says, Michael is obsessed. He’s Wiley’s godfather, but wants to be his parent. She says Brad should be grateful Michael cares, and he supposes she thinks he should be grateful to her too.

Nelle says, it’s just them. Brook doesn’t have to impress her family by making a show of hating her. Brook says she meant every word; Nelle is a gold-digging psycho. Nelle says she’s a grieving widow, whose husband left her 5% of ELQ. It makes sense for them to get along. Michael is. Brook says he’s not home, and Nelle can go back to where she came from, and wait there. She opens the door, and Nelle says, she was staying with Brad, but for some reason, Michael thinks it’s not the best place for her. Brook says, okay. Now she gets it. She slams the door shut, and says Michael doesn’t want Nelle spending time with Wiley. She can’t say she blames him.

Dev says this is going to be more trouble for Sonny, and it’s the last thing Sonny needs. Jax says, Sonny can take care of himself, and Michael says, there’s no point in speculating. Josslyn says, it will just made a bad situation worse, and Michael says his dad is handling it. They need to sit tight, and they’ll get through it. He goes out to the terrace where Sasha is waiting. She says she was checking the news about the shooting, but it’s just clips repeating what they already know. He says if there’s any news, his mom will call, and Sasha ask how Carly is. Michael says, considering she just got shot at, he guesses she’s okay. Sasha says, how about him, or was that dumb question? Michael says it’s not, and he isn’t. Sasha says, talk to her, and Michael says they need to stop seeing each other.

Gladys asks how Carly got the photo, and Carly says, from the bag of Brando’s belongings. Gladys gets excited, and asks if Carly knows what that means. Brando was looking for her on social media. He cares about her. Carly asks why Gladys was on social media, and Gladys says Carly and Sonny made her feel like part of a family, so she wanted to post updates about her, Mike, and Dev. She loves saying she’s Dev’s grandmother, and guesses she just wanted everyone to see how happy she was. Carly asks if she was secretly hoping Brando would see, and Gladys admits, the family made her feel so good, maybe she did want him to see. Carly says, he did, and Gladys says she hadn’t heard from him in so long, she figured it was too late. She was surprised to see him.

Brando tells Sonny that he and Gladys haven’t talked years. Sonny asks, why? and Brando says they had one helluva fight. He left Bridgeport, and never looked back. He checked Glady’s MyFace page once in a while, and saw she was staying with Sonny. She posted pictures of her and some kid she said was her grandson, but he never had children. Who is he?

Dev gets that it’s all his fault, but Josslyn says, it’s not his fault; it’s Gladys’s. She lied to them. Jax says he blames Sonny. On the terrace, Sasha asks if Michael is breaking up with her. He says his family is being targeted, and Dev’s father showing up makes it harder. They have no idea who the enemy is. She asks what it has to do with her, and he says he doesn’t want her in any more danger. They need to go their separate ways. Sasha says, no; they don’t.

Carly asks if Gladys didn’t expect Brando to show up, and Gladys says it’s been years since they were in contact. She said harsh things that he took at face value. He left a hole in her heart, and when Sonny showed up, she got to heal. Doing a good deed grew her heart. Carly says, Sonny is paying her, but Gladys says, that didn’t keep her heart from swelling. She never should have shut Brando out her life. Carly asks why she did.

Sonny says he and Brando will talk about his mother later. Where did he go after Bridgeport? Brando says, Chicago was his last stop before Port Charles. Sonny asks if he brought any luggage, and Brando says it’s at the motel where he’s staying. His turn. Who’s the kid? His mom says it’s her grandson. Sonny tells him not to worry about that right now. Brando saved his wife’s life. He’s going to get the best care possible. Just rest.

Gladys says she told Carly already, but Carly wants to know why she feels like there’s more to the story. Gladys says, what’s important is that Brando came back; she wants to concentrate on that. Sonny joins  them, and says she has other things to concentrate on. Like how her son is here and alive. She says she’s sorry she lied to him, and he says, more than once. He doesn’t tolerate people lying.

Brad says Willow is just another problem. Don’t think he doesn’t see what’s behind it every time she deals with Wiley. She’s fantasizing about raising him herself. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t think he’s a good father. She says, maybe not. He hasn’t spoken one word against Nelle.

Brook says just because Michael doesn’t want Nelle with Wiley, doesn’t mean she has to stay there. Carly owns the MetroCourt. Nelle says she’d rather go back to Brad than stay in Carly’s hotel. She would think Brooke sympathizes. Brook says she thinks wrong. Nelle says she heard Carly led Brook astray, encouraging her to get in between Lulu and Dante. When it went south, she let Brook take the blame. Brook says, so Nelle thought they’d team up to take Carly down? It was a long time ago, and they’ve all moved on. Nelle asks how she can be so unfeeling? Nelle lost her kidney and her baby, and went to prison. Now, the Quartermaines refuse to recognize that she has a stake in ELQ. Brook doesn’t know what it’s like for all the Quartermaines to be against her. Brook says, Nelle doesn’t know what it’s like, but she will.

Nikolas tells Laura, it took her being shot to shake him up, and Spencer and Lulu’s anger. He shouldn’t have let them slip away just so he could discover he’s a vengeful and greedy man. He missed her every day. He wants to do better, be better, but he needs her to tell him that she forgives him. Without that, without her… Laura opens her eyes and says, Nikolas.

Willow asks what is it with Brad and Nelle? Why does he keep protecting her? He says, they’re friends, and Willow says she gets it. The pressure is getting to him, and he’s having a breakdown. He needs help. He says he’s fine, but she says the only person who can help him is a real friend; her, Michael, or Julian. But who does he leave Wiley with? Nelle. He says he can take care of his son on his own. There’s nothing she can do.

Gladys tells Sonny that she didn’t want to lie. She was so used to telling people that Brando was dead, in a way, it was like he was dead. Sonny says, but he’s alive. He says Gladys is going to tell Brando that some lady showed up and claimed he was Dev’s father. Gladys says, Brando always had a lot of girlfriends. Sonny says, one more thing. If she even mentions to Brando that he’s protecting Dev, she’s going to regret it. Understand? She thanks him, and asks if she can see her boy now. Sonny nods, and Gladys goes back into Brando’s room. Carly asks if thinks it will work, and Brando will believe it. Sonny says he’s not saying anything until he finds out who Brando is, and why he’s there. She asks what Brando said, and he says, not much. She says, Gladys was vague on details too, and he says that’s why he doesn’t trust either of them. But he can’t concentrate on that now. He’s got to figure out who targeted his family. Carly says, and him. They were all almost killed. She hugs him.

Jax says he’s glad Josslyn is okay; he loves her. She says she loves him too, and he says he’s going to check in and see if Sonny is back. She tells him not to be too hard on Sonny, but he says he’s not making that promise. He says goodbye to Dev, and leaves. Dev says Josslyn’s dad cares about her. He asks if she’s really okay, and she says, thanks to Michael and Dustin. Dev says, it could have gone the other way, and she asks if he was scared for her. He says he was, and he feels bad about the whole thing… She says, when he kissed her? and he says he wishes he could take back the way he reacted.

Nelle takes Brook’s hands, and says she’s not like the other Quartermaines. She’s open-minded, and less constricted from family expectations, which opens her up to more judgement. They’re not bad people. Brook says, Nelle is, and Nelle says she’s never done anything bad to Brook. Brook says, the night is still young. Nelle wonders how Brook can believe the lies the family is feeding her. Why can’t Brook judge her for herself? Brook wonders if Nelle’s BS really works. She plays the victim card, and if that doesn’t work, she tries to bond. Brook might have screwed up her own future, but she’s not going to plot to kill her fiancé and leave him to drown. She won’t stalk a family, and drug a grieving father, then plot to kill a second fiancé. They’re not going to bond, and they’re not friends. Nelle had better call a ride share, and start walking. She’s not waiting for pick-up on Quartermaine property.

Sasha says she doesn’t think Michael really wants her out of his life. He says he’d be lying if he didn’t say his life was better with her in it. This is the start of something bad, and he doesn’t want to drag her in. She says she just went through something bad of her own making, and went through it with the best person she knows. He says he wants to keep her safe, and she says she wants to keep him safe too – from Nelle, or anyone who’s trying to harm him. He says he doesn’t want her near Nelle, but she says it’s her decision. He doesn’t get to choose for her. Does he think she’ll stop worrying about him, and just walk away and get on with her life? He says he’s trying to protect her because he loves her. She’s got news for him; she loves him too. and they’re going to deal with this together. Consequences be damned. They kiss.

Michael’s phone rings, and he asks what Nelle wants. Nelle says she’s at the Quartermaine’s, and Brook won’t let her stay there. She could go back to Brad and spend time with Wiley. Michael tells her to put Brook on, and Brook says, please tell her that he didn’t tell that crazy bitch she can live there, and he says he’ll explain later. Please give her a room. Brook hangs up, and Nelle asks if it’s too late to ask Cook to make cherries jubilee for dinner. Brook asks if Nelle knows who else loves cherries jubilee? Her granny. She’ll put Nelle in the room next to her. Nelle says, Tracy? and Brook says, the one and only. There’s a bathroom in between the rooms, and she’s sure Tracy will love sharing. Nelle says she wanted a room with a lake view, and Brook says, and disappoint granny? Not a chance. Brook leads Nelle upstairs.

Sasha says, that didn’t sound good, and Michael says she has no idea what she’s getting herself into. She says, as long as they’re together, they can handle anything, and they kiss.

Willow wishes Brad could see she’s on his side, and asks him to let her help. She can take care of Wiley tonight, and tomorrow, Brad can pull himself together, and figure out what he needs to do to get back on track. Brad asks how many times he has to tell her. She’s not coming home with him tonight or any other night. She’s fired.

Nikolas asks how Laura is feeling, and says he’ll get the doctor. She tells him, wait. The things he was saying… He says she heard him? and she says she loves him. She’s always going to love him.

Jax calls Carly, and asks if she knows any more about Brando. She says, not a lot. Sonny is still trying to get the truth. Jax says, put him on, but Carly says, it’s not a good time. Sonny has his hands full. Jax says he’ll wait at the house until they’re empty. Josslyn tells Dev not to let it bother him. It was a dumb mistake, and after what just happened, it’s unimportant. He asks if she’s sure, and she says she’s positive. Dustin told her to write about what happened, and she thinks she’s going to do that now.

Gladys fusses over Brando. He says Sonny treated him like a suspect, but she says, don’t be silly. His bark is worse than his bite. She gets him some water, and he asks who Dev is. She says, his son.

Carly tells Sonny, Jax wants answers about Brando. He says he’s going to wait at the house. Sonny says, he’ll be waiting a long time; Sonny isn’t going home. He has to find out who’s after his family and why. Carly takes his hand.

Tomorrow, Nelle says she’s not going anywhere, Peter tells Anna that no one can save her, Carly tells Jax that she won’t be separated from Josslyn indefinitely, and Sonny says something is a problem for him.

⛵️  So here’s what happened. Unbeknownst to me, Below Deck was on at 8, because the new Below Deck Sailing Yacht was premiering at 10. When I realized _ as I stared stupidly at the sailing yacht for a few moments – I cursed my life, and just did a QuickieCap of the new show, and watched the OG at 11:30. That’s my long way of saying, I messed up, so now I can’t go to bed as early as I would have liked, even though I wrote less. I’ve put them in the order they were aired.

Below Deck

The d*ck cake is presented, and Kevin finds out primary Jemele went to bed. Kate tells Kevin that she doesn’t know if Jemele is coming back, but the others might like to enjoy dessert. Captain Lee says he’s not taking a bite. In Kate’s interview, she says, it can’t be the first time someone was underwhelmed when Kevin showed them his penis. In the galley, She says Kevin that the primary was too drunk to stay, and just get the plates. He snaps, it was a waste of a day, and she says that’s not her fault. In Kevin’s interview, he says, it’s the last dessert, and it’s embarrassing. He put a lot of effort into the cake, and he looks like an idiot. Kate says it was ordered on the preference sheet, but in his interview, Kevin says he’s never been so embarrassed, and can see the evil look from Kate. She’s an evil bitch. The cake – which really does look very tasty – is served. Courtney thinks the whole thing is awkward, but Kevin is overreacting.

Jemele snores in her cabin. Kate says Kevin has been in a weird mood all night, and has been screaming at her. Kevin sits in the tender, grumbling about Kate. Kate admits maybe she should have told him before he brought the cake out. In Simone’s interview, she says the season was a sh*t show, but Kate is enjoying Kevin’s embarrassment. It’s defeating when you’ve been working so hard. She thinks Kate is vile. Captain Lee bids the guests goodnight.

Ashton calls the deck crew for a meeting. He tells Brian and Rhylee that they’re on the late shift. He wants to finish strong tomorrow, and says, keep focused. In his interview, he says, in the beginning, he tried to make Rhylee feel included, and give her the voice she felt she lost with Chandler and Ross. I must have missed him doing that. We flash back to Chandler and Ross, and Ashton says, even though Rhylee disrespected him, he doesn’t want to finish with them fighting. He just wants to squash the whole thing. Simone gets a hug from a guest who wishes her the best. In his interview, the captain says the timing of the cake couldn’t have been worse. It’s embarrassing for the last charter. The guests had been having a ball, and enjoying the evening.

Tanner calls his mom, who immediately asks if there are sharks are there. Tanner wonders how she thinks. In his interview, he says he loves his mom; she’s soft and gentle. If she was there, she would ask why everyone is so upset, and tell them, please stop it. Kevin goes back to the galley, and Kate says, it’s been a great season. He tells her, eff off. Kate says he’s being weird; the cake was gorgeous, and Courtney adds that the guests all ate it. Kevin says he feels like Kate was squishing him down by withholding information. Why would she do that? She asks, why have him stand in front of the guests with his d*ck on a silver platter? He called her a d*ck today, but guess what? Today she wasn’t the d*ck. He says, the cake was, and Kate says he presented it perfectly. He says Kate can’t train her staff to do a beach party by themselves, and she asks if he doesn’t think they can. He says he thinks they’re more than capable, but for some reason, she goes to the beach. Um… I think that’s her prerogative as chief stew. In Simone’s interview, she says she’s secretly enjoying Kevin standing his ground. Karma is a beautiful thing. Apparently, she doesn’t understand what karma is and how it works, since Kevin’s not exactly embarrassing Kate. Kate says Kevin is being defensive because he presented his penis poorly, and he says she’s unprofessional. He tells Brian that he just blew Kate off in the galley. She’s getting on his nerves. In Kevin’s interview, he says he wanted to finish on a high note. Frankly, I think Kevin would have done something like that to Kate in a heartbeat, and he’s just jealous that he didn’t think of anything that good. Or as appropriate.

Jemele emerges, and her friends tell her about how they were having a serious conversation with the captain at dinner, and in comes this huge d*ck. Jemele says, apparently, she missed out on something. They ask Kate for a side of balls.

Ashton radios Rhylee to meet him on deck. To herself, she says, on my way, pr*ck, but tells him, yes, sir. In Ashton’s interview, he says it’s their last night out, and he doesn’t want the same sh*t to happen. We flash back to their altercation in the market, and he says he wants to nip it in the bud. When Rhylee joins him, he hems and haws for a moment, and says it’s clear they have differences. He thinks it goes deeper than work. They’re two different people, and that’s okay. Who is he? Mr. Rogers? He tells her, it’s the end of the season, and he just wants to have a good night. She says she trusts in herself to hold herself accountable for her actions, and wants to end on an enjoyable night. He says they’re on the same page. In Rhylee’s interview, she says they have nothing to talk about. It’s their last night out, and she doesn’t give a f***.

The captain pulls anchor for the last time, and the boat heads out. Kate serves breakfast, which looks delicious. In Tanner’s interview, he says it’s their last night, and the odds are in his favor with Kate. It’s the fourth quarter, and they got it. Kevin has made custard buns, and wonders what to do with them, but Kate says, the last meal is over, and goes downstairs. Tanner says, someone has checked out, and Kevin says, someone checked out six weeks ago. In Kate’s interview, she says Kevin has made his fair share of large mistakes, and now he tried to embarrass her in front of the stews. He has two styles; a-hole and sleeping. The guests love the breakfast, and Kevin brings out the custard buns. Jemele says he looks like Tom Cruise. I’m not a fan, but I’d still say, maybe a poor man’s Tom Cruise. She says, about the cake… and apologizes for her absence. She heard he had an incredible d*ck, and he says he didn’t know she’d left. He thanks them, and says they’re his favorite charter this season. In his interview, he says, it’s such a relief to hear when you’re good at what you do. He made an amazing c*ck cake, and it was an amazing way to finish the charter.

Brain tells Courtney that she looks cute with her hair up. In her interview, she says, go away. Stop being cute. Honestly, maybe it’s me, but I don’t get the attraction that all the women seem to have for him. He has a bangin’ bod, but his face and personality is nothing to write home about. I’m not trying to be mean; I just don’t see it. The guests ask for a couple of bottles of champagne, and one of them says she’s living her best life. Kate gets the champagne, and they pop corks and shake the bottles out over the water. A+ for that. Sloppier guests would have just let it spray all over the deck. In Kate’s interview, she says Jemele was not her favorite at the beginning. She was the quintessential head mean cheerleader. But she realized she was wrong, and the grace to say it, and Kate respects that. It’s too bad the crew aren’t the same way. I think Kate’s personality is misunderstood because she’s not bubbly like a lot of the stews. Personally, I would find bubbly annoying, especially first thing in the morning.

The crew gets into their whites. Kate tells Tanner that he’s so cute. The guests pack, and Jemele says it’s going to take a month for her to recover. Anchor is dropped, and the captain scares Rhylee with the horn, which seems to be his things this season. Did the other boats not have one, or is he just getting bored? He calls everyone to the aft deck, and tells Kate that he’s savoring the last goodbye. Jemele says they thought everyone was amazing, and hopefully the tip reflects their value. They were all awesome. The guests leave, and Kate suggests they all jump off the boat right now.

Time for the tip meeting. Captain Lee says they made it. It’s the first time he didn’t need to terminate someone, and that says a lot. He tells them that they performed remarkably well. The tip is… $20K, or $1800 each. Yes! Finally. He says their total for the season was $154K; $7146 each. In Kate’s interview, she says, it’s a good amount of money; they made it through the gauntlet. It wasn’t an easy season, but the tips make working with Kevin almost worth it. The captain tells them, tonight, a full moon party on a private beach has been arranged for them. In her interview, Kate says she doesn’t know what a full moon party is, but it sounds like a rave on the beach with a full moon. She never paid attention to the moon when she was at a rave, and doesn’t know what to expect.

The boat is cleaned, and laundry folded. Kate calls Rhylee, asking her to come to the pantry. Kate pours champagne for the girls. She says, it’s like a friendship bracelet, but better. In her interview, she says she’s never had a season where it was guys versus girls. The girls became extra bonded because the guys were such a-holes. In Simone’s interview, she tells us that she has a lot of things to say to Kate, but she’s not doing it. She just wants to say goodbye. The guys jump off the boat, and have a beer on deck. Courtney doesn’t know if she has anything more to say to Brian. They’ve basically been avoiding each other, and she has nothing to say. They’re not getting back together, and will probably never see each other again. They’re friendly, but it’s just weird.

Everyone gets ready to go out. The guys have shots. Tanner says it’s his last night, and he knows he’s having fun. He’s ready to effing go. The crew gets on a tender, and heads for shore. Brain and Ashton talk bro stuff, and Courtney tells Kate  that she was in their way. The beach looks amazing; it’s all done up like some awesome, weird carnival. There are ladyboys and girls in practically nothing, fire dancers and fire eaters, a private cabana, lots of liquor, and giant letters of fire spelling out MY VALOR. In her interview, Kate says, it’s a reason to drink alcohol and make bad decisions in the dark. Simone gets on a tree swing. The fire eater/dancers put on a show, and a guy twirls sticks with fire on each end. Kevin jumps over some of the fire letters, and by some miracle, manages not to get hurt. On the boat, Captain Lee does some ironing.

Brian gazes at Courtney, and finally sits next to her. He says he doesn’t want to end things on a bad note. It’s a little awkward, but he had fun with her. The whole season was about her. He doesn’t know what to do, and asks what she wants to do. She says, about what? and he says, just leave it as it is? She says, okay, and he says he was asking a question. She tells him that he’s full of sh*t, and then kisses him. In her interview, she says she just wants to end the season nicely. Kate tells Rhylee, Brian unleashed his secret weapon; he took his shirt off. Tanner sits with them, and Kate says he’s a breath of fresh drunken air.

In Ashton’s interview, he says he wants no negative feelings or regrets. He’s going to be a good boy. Kate, Rhylee, Simone, and Kevin take a selfie. Kevin says they had a good run, and Kate says he was a pain in the ass sometimes. He says the big mess up was when she stopped caring. They could all feel it. She asks if he thinks she’s not a good chief stew, and he says he doesn’t. She says she thinks he’s not good yacht chef either. He’s just a baker. He says she doesn’t know all about food, and Tanner says Kevin did a great job. He tells Kate, sorry, and she asks what Kevin did that was phenomenal. Kevin says Kate has nothing to back it up, and Kate leaves. Tanner tells Kevin that he was trying to defend him. Rhylee tells Simone that she thinks Kate feels vulnerable, but Simone says she’ll think things are okay between them, and then Kate says something that’s a jab. Tanner, Kevin, and some unidentified guy have shots. On the boat, the captain picks up an empty Greygoose bottle and calls it a dead soldier.

Tanner stumbles around after Kate, who keeps changing location. Rhylee chants, get it, get it, get it. Tanner tells Kate that he’s wanted to kiss her all day. She says he’s an idiot. HA-HA-HA! She tells him that he said Kevin was right. It’s never going to happen; she’s a lesbian. She’s getting more lesbian by the second, the more he talks. She tells him, get over it, and leaves. In Simone’s interview, she says she doesn’t have to deal with this sh*t anymore; she’s happy. It’s amazing that she can now wash her hands clean, and get on with the rest of her life.

Kevin kicks sand at Kate as he goes by. She says he got sand in her eyes. Brian tells him to say he’s sorry, and Kevin says, eff off. It doesn’t matter what happens. Then the subtitles tell us that Kevin says, I walrahrahrah. Kate wakes up Ashton, and tells him they have to go. He rounds up everyone, and they get back in the tender. Brian says this was the best experience of his life, and Kate says, except for the sand in her face. He tells her not to worry, and she asks if he’s sh*tting her. In his interview, Brian says, even though Kate is who she is, you don’t kick sand in someone’s face. He still thinks Kate is overeating. It’s what she does best.

When they get to the dock, Kate gives them the finger, says, eff off, and jets back to the Valor. Kevin tries to run on the dock, and Ashton stops him. When they get inside, Ashton tells Kevin that he has to cook now, and he also has a whole beach on his ass. Kate gives the camera the finger before she closes her cabin door. We see Kevin’s naked butt, which I never want to see again. He wraps his nakey self in a towel, and Ashton tells him, go to bed. I’m not quite sure what Kevin does under that towel, but I think it has something to do with a sparkler, since Brian says he’s going out with a bang, and they all die laughing. Tanner says, Jiminy Cricket, and Courtney leads Brian to the guest room.

It’s the final day. Tanner says he’s staying drunk so he doesn’t get a hangover. He’s still wasted. Kevin smiles at Kate, and she asks, why? He says he’s happy they’re getting off the boat. She says he kicked sand in her eye, but he insists he didn’t. She says, he did, and in his interview, he says he doesn’t remember doing it, but if he did, it was for a reason. She called him a sh*tty yacht chef. Tanner tries to get information out of Brian, who won’t kiss and tell. In his interview, he tells us to use our imagination. Kate tells Rhylee that Kevin didn’t bother to apologize. In Simone’s interview, she says Tanner is a child, and that’s a problem, but she might call him in the future. Not like that, but possibly platonic. She thinks saying goodbye to Kate is disingenuous. She did learn a valuable lesson; to be self-reliant. She wants to continue in yachting, and get more experience. Tanner asks if Kate wants a quickie, but she says, no. In his interview, Tanner says it makes him stay humble. In Kate’s interview, she says she doesn’t regret that they didn’t hook up, but if they’re ever in the same zip code, it’s a sure thing. Tanner tells Captain Lee, it’s the best job he ever had, and the captain tells him, be safe. Tanner says he’ll see them on the flipside.

Ashton tells Brian, it worked out nicely. Brian says, the drama washed away. Courtney is a cool chick, and he’s going to miss her. Ashton says, well done, bru, which is now like nails on a blackboard to me. Brian thanks Courtney for being so amazing. In her interview, Courtney says, saying goodbye to Brian is bittersweet. They had an easy friendship. When she gets back home, she wants to go out to a nice dinner that’s not pad Thai. She stops to play with a dog on the dock. Kevin thanks Captain Lee, who says he did an outstanding job. In his interview, Kevin says he knows where he wants to be now. He’s ready to go home to his daughter, take her on holiday, and go back to cooking food. He says, there are only so many fake apologies he can give to Kate. He walks out without saying goodbye. Kate says, goodbye, Thailand. It’s over. It’s the final straw.

Kate calls out, bye, Kevin. See you never. She tells Rhylee, Kevin didn’t even say goodbye, and Rhylee says, he’s a pr*ck. These people are a-holes. In Brian’s interview, he says it’s been a roller coaster ride, but in the end, he pulled through. He’s staying in yachting, and eventually becoming a captain. When he sees his daughter, he can relax. Rhylee says, seeing Ashton is going to be awkward, and Kate tells her, be civil; it’s over. Rhylee says, one day you’ll be a great bosun? but Kate says, that’s not civil. She tells Rhylee, no matter what anyone says, she’s a great asset. In Rhylee’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if it’s the yachting world, or it’s her in the yachting world, but she’s thankful for Kate. Without Kate in her corner, she might not have stuck it through. She says goodbye to Captain Lee, and tells Ashton, it’s that time. In her interview, she says she’s not disappointed in her behavior. She showed reserve, and she’s proud of it. She tells Ashton that she appreciates him tolerating her, and he says, all the best. In Rhylee’s interview, she says she’s going to keep yachting in her back pocket, but right now she’s going back to Alaska and a fishing charter. She’s going to slay it, and not think twice about Ashton.

Kate guzzles a beer in the galley. In Ashton’s interview, he says he and Kate are leaving on good terms. They had two big fights, and he thinks she crossed department boundaries. She disrespected him, and he’s disappointed in the situation. He’s glad to say goodbye. In Kate’s interview, she says their goodbye was like their other interactions during the season; civil, but fake. Ashton tells Captain Lee, it’s been quite a year, and the captain compliments Ashton’s nice farmer tan, saying he has to even that sh*t out. Ashton thanks him for the bosun position, and guiding him through it. Captain Lee says Ashton had to grow, and he grew a lot. In his interview, Ashton says it was his first season as bosun, and he learned a lot. The captain tells him, no sailor ever learned anything in calm seas. In his interview, Ashton says there were things he could have handled better, but he learned he’s capable. He’s going to spend some time with Ross in Florida, then join a crew with no redheads.

Kate and Captain Lee hug. She tells him, chalk up another one. They made it again. She’s going to miss the boat. She says she’ll see him around Florida. He says, it’s been a slice, and she says, always is. In Kate’s interview, she says, it was a personally challenging season. She’s going to spend a week alone at a resort, then head back to Florida, pack up her life, and move to New York. She’s scared to move there, but she was scared to start yachting. She needs a new adventure.

Captain Lee says, he doesn’t know what it is about Thailand, but he still has best goddam job in the world.

Next time, the Reunion, and it looks like a doozie. Otherwise, I’d be completely bummed this season is over.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Captain Glenn of the Parsifal III, explained that he, deckhand Paget, and stew Ciara were a core family, and he’d brought Paget and Ciara in during the off-season. In her interview, Ciara said she and Paget had been friends, moved in together to save money, and then decided to date. Ciara never went to a conventional school, and grew up on a sailboat. While she’s technically a stew, Captain Glenn decided to put her on deck. Since she and Paget have never worked in the same department, this should prove interesting, as well as a test of their relationship. Chef Adam – a transfer from Below Deck Mediterranean – told us he’s spent a solid year driving around in a van with his dog, and cooking over an open flame. His jam is focusing on food and being single, and he assured us that he was still the same a-hole, d*ckhead (his words). Jenna, the chief stew from Canada, said she came up like a Navy SEAL, has high standards, and expects everything should be perfect. Second stew Madison told us that she was made for yachting, and is like the Energizer Bunny, living on candy and caffeine. She tries not to overwhelm people with her energy. She had been a competitive figure skater, and said she’d transferred her work ethic to sailing. Georgia is the third stew from South Africa, but said her British mother gave her and her siblings fake British accents. She gets more British when she drinks, and becomes the Queen of England by midnight. Chief engineer Byron (love that name!) is married with a young daughter, and finally, deckhand Parker said he grew up sailing, and was confident on smaller boats. This is his dream job.

In a first meeting, Jenna told the stews that she’s forward and direct, but not a bitch, which remains to be seen. She said she didn’t mind the stews having opinions, but didn’t want to be challenged, telling them, give it a few days. In her interview, she said she didn’t expect to be a mom, and her primary focus was on the guests, not whether the crew feels happy or loved. Adam remarked that the boat had been sitting on the dock too long, and looked like Ciara and Paget’s apartment. I don’t know what their apartment looks like, but if the boat is any indication, they’re both bad at housekeeping.

Captain Glenn told the crew that he’s laid back, and likes the crew to run their own departments. If anyone had a problem, they were to go to the department head first before going to him. In Adam’s interview, he said it was a welcome change, since he’d been under Captain Sandy’s thumb on Below Deck Med, and we flashed back to some of that. The captain added that he was also hands-on when it came to pitching in with work, but didn’t like fixing things in front of guests. Jenna made it clear that she was looking for attention to detail. If the a stew is paying attention, she knows she can trust them. In Georgia’s interview, she said she was never properly trained, but would love to have someone tell her if she’s doing it right.

During the preference sheet meeting, the captain told Paget, Jenna, and Adam that their first guests would be Alan and Jennifer. Alan had been a high level software engineer at Apple before retiring. Their daughter and friend Peyton would also be joining them, as well as friends Guy and Alessia, who were getting married just before the trip. They were looking to do some adventurous activities, and sailing. I guess they’re in the right place for the latter. Jenna said the boat looked like it had been boarded by pirates, and there were trash bags everywhere. In his interview, Paget said he didn’t want Ciara and himself to be that couple cuddling in the corner. Madison told Jenna about her five drunk tattoos, and in her interview, said she tries to be responsible when she’s drunk by keeping the tattoos to areas not normally seen. Then she pulled out her lower lip to show us MEOW inside, and said she didn’t like cats. I’m not even sure what to say about that. Everyone agreed the boat was a sh*t show, but somehow managed to get it cleaned up, and got on their green polos for greeting the guests.

Everyone counted only four people coming up the boardwalk, and Guy said their friends had been delayed, but were taking a plane in from Athens. It was the same routine as on a regular yacht, with the guests being greeted with warm towels and champagne, and the chief stew giving a tour. The boat is gorgeous, but of course, not as palatial as the motor yachts. Captain Glenn did enlighten us that sailboats have motors, without which it would be difficult to get in and out of port. The captain was impressed at how easily they got off the dock, but said the true test would be when they set the sails up. And unlike a motor yacht, everything loose has to be secured.

While Adam was anxious to cook Greek food, all of the preference sheets listed sushi, so he decided to go with that for the first meal. He wanted to get the job right. The dining area décor was really pretty, but for some reason, it reminded me of funeral home. The guests were happy with the sushi, as I would have been – it looked fabulous. Jenna told Adam that he wasn’t just a pretty face. He told us the galley was a fraction of the size of a motor yacht galley, and any nook or cranny was like gold. It’s like everything was cut in half. Right out of the gate, the hot tub was reading 75*, but the water was still cold. In his interview, Paget said if anything was wrong, it was on him, but he couldn’t figure it out. Byron came to the rescue, telling him, the heater switch has to be turned on. I would have laughed, but I’ve had those moments of stupidity myself. In Jenna’s interview, she said nothing was prepared, but she had to have her stew face on, hands behind her back, looking proper. After arriving at Miko Nisi in Corfu (Greece), there was some difficulty taking the sails back down, but Captain Glenn said they’d wait until the guests were off the boat to fix it. Apparently, it’s difficult to get the sails down, since they have to fold perfectly into something called a donkey d*ck – hey, I didn’t name it – which looked sort of like a gutter.

Jenna told Adam that she’d been engaged once, and he said he had been engaged once too. She asked what happened, and he said, yachting. In her interview, Jenna said her past ten relationships had been unhealthy ones. She always goes for the wrong people, and wanted to find her person. It didn’t take long before there was a major problem – no steak knives on board. Damn. Even I have steak knives. Adam said serving steak with improper cutlery in a fine dining scenario was the worst of the worst.

Alessia and Guy arrived by tender, and told everyone that they’d missed their own wedding because they never got to Vegas. In Jenna’s interview, she says she’s not the one getting married, but the person who is going to get screwed is her. Guy asked if the captain couldn’t marry them, and did he have an Elvis outfit.

This season, Madison says the sh*t is going to hit fan while they’re sailing, horrible guests, Adam and Jenna hook up (!), Jenna is told she has an attitude problem, someone (it looks like Parker) is on thin ice, and Parker asks if Paget thinks it’s funny that he’s still being breastfed. What? Please tell me that was the TV equivalent of clickbait.

⚖️ I don’t know if I’m going to love this show the way I do the others – the OG Below Deck being my forever favorite. This captain is a little too laid back for me, but the close quarters should make for some interesting drama, and the clip of those horrible guests was intriguing. In other words, the jury is still out.

🍾 Your New Crew…

Meet the newbies on Deck.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-sailing-yacht/about

🏖 A Little More…

A supplement on the newest baby in the Deck franchise.

https://www.realitytea.com/2020/02/03/meet-the-cast-of-below-deck-sailing-yacht-photos/#/slide/1

🤽🏻‍♀️ I see Shep Rose is going to be on Summer House. He belongs with those immature twits.

🐶 They’re All Winners…

The only bowl that matters.

https://nypost.com/2020/02/02/puppy-bowl-2020-winner-recap-team-fluff-barks-its-way-to-victory/

🎄 Why Not…?

They’re always having it in July.

January 1, 2018 – A Vanderpump Mini-cap & a Little Shep

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Although today was a holiday, Bravo decided not to take the night off. Andy Cohen is still on his endless vacation, but Lisa Vanderpump and Shep Rose were still at work, and had new episodes tonight. I rode the fence by watching, and making a CliffsNotes version of the usual post. Not nearly as annoyingly detailed, but possibly still rambling. It’s going to be another week of not knowing what day it is.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom and Schwartz met with Ken and Lisa about the new restaurant, TomTom. Having partied with Jax the night before, the Toms prepped by listening to Eminem’s Lose Yourself multiple times. The meeting was at Villa Rosa, so, Giggy! Harrison! Lisa hadn’t been too thrilled with Tom’s negativity, and was thisclose to severing ties. She finally relented, with the guys kicking in $50K each for 5% ownership each, considerably less than Lisa’s original request of $120K for 10%. In her interview, Lisa said she just pulled the figure out of her “English ass,” but it was highly unlikely that they could get the restaurant off the ground for $1.2 million.

Jax came home while the girls were still there, griping that it was his house. He started in with the I-pay-for-everything crap, and Brittany lost her cool, smacking him around and telling him to get out. He refused to budge, then tried to deflect the blame, saying it was the fault of Brittany’s girlfriends, who filled her head with nonsense. This went over about as well as you’d think it would.

Lala started her return on the right foot by telling Scheana and Ariana that Schwartz made out with one of her friends when he was drunk – after he was married to Katie. The friend said he kept calling her “Bubba,” which is their pet name for each other, so who knows? Maybe he thought she was Katie. Claiming that she had intended to keep it to herself, Lala made this announcement in retaliation for Katie saying her boyfriend is married. During a private conversation. With big mouth Scheana present. Lala declared Katie no longer safe, because Katie “messed with her relationship.” Funny though, I could have sworn Lala said he was separated on Watch What Happens Live. Regardless, it seemed like an overreaction. Katie had actually apologized afterwards, but Scheana left that part out. Of course, nothing is private with this group, so Katie took her chances. Lala immediately reverted back to her creepy, insecure ways by hoping Katie’s marriage came to an end over this.

Stassi planned LVP’s partner Guillermo’s birthday party at SUR, and Lisa seemed pleased with the results. Stassi had the guests take Polaroid selfies and put them in a scrapbook for the birthday boy, which is an idea I love. Ariana called Schwartz out about Lala’s friend in private during the party, and he claimed not to remember. Déjà vu, anyone? No surprise, the news traveled fast, and Schwartz said, I have no recollection, more times than I could count, and compared himself to a werewolf. Lisa was like, wtf? and told us she’s taking it personally, since she was their officiant. Katie was wearing amazing gigantic black and gold earrings, and it was like the battle of the earrings when she was talking to Lisa, who had humongous gold and gemstone danglers hanging from her ears. It kept diverting my attention.

At another bar, Jax and James got drunk on absinthe, which James described tasting like a little green fairy that goes down your throat and rips your balls off. That really doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Next time, Katie lays down the law to Schwartz.

👱  RelationShep continues to be a fun watch. Andy Cohen referred to Shep as a human Golden Retriever, and I think that’s pretty accurate. He’s goodhearted and pleasant, and has better manners than the Golden I had. The girls seem nice enough, but now they’ve been shoved together in a house, which doesn’t always bring out the best in people. Tonight, after “over-drinking,” houseguest Peyton grumbled to Shep, wondering what he could possibly see in someone fresh out of college, referring to Kylie, who is twenty-two. To be fair, Shep had asked Peyton how it was going, and she started by telling him it was an awkward dating situation. She ended up walking out (of the conversation, not the house), and Shep considered this a “public confrontation.” I guess it is where he comes from, but I would have considered it more like cross words in the kitchen. Shep and Cameran (Southern Charm) met for lunch, and she told him it could be a signal that Peyton is needy. I’d like to know how Cameran would have felt if she had to live with several women vying for her man. Arden realized that, although Shep is a nice guy, there was no connection, and packed her bags. Summer showed up uninvited, and Shep felt the only right decision would be to put her up in a hotel. When she arrived, complete with her French bulldog, and was told she couldn’t stay there, she did not seem too happy about it. I would have let the dog stay. Many of the Southern Charmers have made appearances, since the house is in Charleston. Unlike The Bachelor, the next step is for the final four to live in separate dwellings, which at least alleviates some of the pressure. It seems Shep feels it as well, knowing that, like dogs with bones, the girls are keeping an eye on him and noting how much time he spends with each. I’ve always had multiple pets, and there have been a few I would swear mentally logged how much attention I paid to the other ones. These contestants/houseguests/potential girlfriends are kind of like that.

🎉 Hope your New Year’s Eve was everything you wanted, and nothing you didn’t.

CaseyInTie (3)

Casey in New Year’s Eve Formalwear