What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

While Spinelli is on the phone, trying to get info about Claudette, Nathan comes back to the apartment. Nathan asks why Spinelli looks guilty. Spinelli says Nathan reeks of culpability for what he did. When Nathan asks what Maxie told Spinelli, Spinelli says, everything.

Maxie asks Griff for help. He tells her she’d be better off talking with friends or family, but she says she needs someone objective. She tells him about how Nathan walked in on Claudette and her lover and shot him. Griff says it sound like he acted in the heat of the moment, not in cold blood.

Jason meets with Sam. She says the prayer service was sad and it was all she could do not to tell everyone that Nicholas is tricking them. She also relays Dante’s message, that he’s grateful to Jason for saving his life. She asks if he found proof Nicholas is still alive.

Hayden tells Naomi she’s convinced Nicholas is gone.

Alexis tells Julian she’s going to just leave and he can explain it to everyone. He tells her to act normal for Lucas’s sake. Lucas enters with Carly, Bobbie and Brad.

Spinelli tells Nathan that Maxie deserves better. He says she’s glacial to give her trust and acts shallow to keep people at arm’s length. He says she invested her heart and made herself vulnerable to Nathan and he shattered her fragile trust. Nathan says he realizes all that, but wonders how Spinelli just showed up at this particular time.

Jason tells Sam about overhearing Spencer and Emma, and says he thinks Spencer knows Nicholas is alive. Sam wonders if she should talk to Spencer, but Jason says no. Jason thinks maybe Nicholas needs them. He remembers how Nicholas saved his life during the hotel fire and wonders how he fell so far. Sam says they have to find him.

Brad and Lucas thank Alexis and Julian for letting them have the wedding in their home. Lucas says that Julian and Alexis are a shining example of a solid couple. How he can’t sense the tension between them, I have no clue. Carly asks Alexis why she’s upset and if hypocrisy is weighing her down. I hate when Carly does this stuff. I mean, is this really appropriate right now? And who is she to talk? Like I’m so sure she’s never covered for Sonny.

Ava tells Julian that the cops came to see her and they’re looking at him for Carrrlos’s murder. He says there’s a loose end he can’t control and Ava asks if it’s Alexis. Ava asks what Alexis has on him, but Julian says the less she knows the better and he’s sorry he brought her into it.

Spinelli says his visit has nothing to do with what’s up with Maxie. Nathan says he hasn’t forgotten how Spinelli tried to break them up. Spinelli says Maxie might have been better off with him, but he and Ellie are solid. He tells Nathan to shape up or he’ll have to answer to him. Spinelli leaves and Nathan gets a call.

Griff says Nathan’s actions don’t sound premeditated. Maxie asks if he’s making excuses for Nathan.

Hayden tells Naomi that as much as they fought, what she and Nicholas had was real. She shows Naomi the picture that Nicholas sent of the diamonds. She says if she’d just decided to come home, Nicholas might still be alive.

Jason shows Sam a paper he found at Windemere from someone who does fake passports, but even better, he scored Nicolas’s laptop. Really? He wouldn’t have taken that?

Naomi talks about selling the diamonds, but Hayden says they’re gone. She says the Feds searched the hosue and all they found was the inventory. In true soap timing, two agents show up saying Hayden’s fingerprints are on the inventory.

Sam can’t get into Nicholas’s laptop, but Spinelli shows up just in time. He just goes from house to house, fixing stuff. Jason tells him that he’s regained a lot of his memory and he remembers his friend now. Spinelli is thrilled and says he missed him. Jason says ditto and Spinelli hugs Sam because hugging Jason is to awkward.

Maxie says she doesn’t know if she can let it go. Griff says everyone involved was in the wrong and Nathan had the gun on him; it’s not like he went out and got it. Maxie says Nathan isn’t the man she thought he was, but Griff asks if he isn’t still a good man, and adds he must be tortured by what he did. He says one mistake doesn’t define you and if it did, he’d be hiding in a cave. Maxie asks what mistake Griff made.

Julian suggests Ava leave the country. She says she has a piece of art that might be advantageous to show overseas. Because there’s no internet. She tells Julian to enjoy the wedding and good luck with Alexis.

I guess Lucy isn’t around because some stranger comes to marry Lucas and Brad. Julian tells them to get married before something else goes wrong. As they’re about to say their vows, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Nathan with another officer. Nathan apologizes for the interruption, but says he has a search warrant.

Griff tells Maxie he saves his confessions for church. Maxie wonders what happened to the guy Nathan shot. Griff says maybe he had his own problems, or it took a bullet to make him realize his wrongs and he felt just as bad as Nathan .

Julian tells them Alexis is representing him and she asks to see the warrant. Nathan goes upstairs while the officer keeps an eye on Julian. The wedding continues. Nathan and Brad have written their own vows.

Sam points Spinelli to the laptop. He says the hard drive has been wiped clean. Jason asks if he can do something and he says nothing is ever truly deleted and he’s been working on a recovery program.

The agent says they’ll have to take Hayden in. Naomi steps up and says she’s the one who blew the whistle on her husband, so they know they can trust her. She says that of course Hayden’s fingerprints are on the inventory. Before she discovered her husband’s ponzi scheme, she was updating their insurance on their assets. She goes down Memory Lane and says she asked Hayden to enter the inventory into a computer, and that’s why her fingerprints are on it. She says she has no idea what happened to the necklace and suggests either her husband hid it or an agent absconded with it. The agent bristles at that, but Naomi is like, come on, it’s not unheard of. She says there’s no evidence to support either scenario and her daughter is as innocent as the clients were. She says Hayden also just lost her husband, so back off.

Spinelli says it’s glorious to see Jason and Sam back together.The computer makes a bugle call sound like at the start of a race and the information pops up. Nicholas was planning to get away on a shipping vessel.

Ava calls Sonny from the plane and tells him she’s leaving town on business. She asks if Avery is awake and asks Sonny to put her near the phone.

Nathan comes down from upstairs. He starts to look through the living room. Alexis looks at Julian and looks away when he catches her.

The wedding vows continue. Brad and Lucas exchange rings. They kiss, confetti is thrown, and a champagne toast is made. Finally. The guys say thanks for letting them have the wedding there and the party breaks up. Julian and Alexis are left alone with Nathan and the officer. Nathan shows them the dagger.

Maxie admits that if she was defined by all the mistakes she made, no one would love her, and if there was no forgiveness, she’d be in the cave with Griff. She says Nathan is not that person with the gun, and she loves him. She says whatever is making Griff so sad, he’s not that person either.

The agent tells Hayden she might have her mother snowed, but not them and they’ll be back. Hayden asks her mother what the catch is. She says when she locates the diamonds, to remember what her mother did for her. She has to leave to attend her prison wives therapy group and asks Hayden if she’ll be okay by herself. She says she can see that Hayden really loved Nicholas and she’s truly sorry for her loss. She tells Hayden to give herself time to grieve.

Spinelli says there are three possible choices as to where Nicholas went and he bookmarked them. He has to leave and gets all happy again about Sam and Jason being together. Sam says she can’t believe Nicholas left, allowing his family to grieve and Jason to take the rap. There’s a knock at the door.

Nicholas is seated next to Ava on the plane.

Tomorrow, Nathan has found the murder weapon, a guy on the plane recognizes Nicholas, and Andre can’t side with…someone.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Another chapter in the soap opera that is Leeanne.

We start off with the usual topic – poop – but this time it’s Travis wanting the dog picked up after. He and Stephanie discuss the Brian Nelson party – whatever that is. She suggests they remove “the nekkid girl,” who was there last year, from the guest list. Travis asks if Leeanne is coming and says people he works with are coming, so she can’t act crazy. Stephanie says she’ll take responsibility. Travis brings out the dreaded list and Stephanie says she can do it herself. She says if she can handle a birthday party, she can handle other stuff and doesn’t want any more lists. Travis agrees, but wants her to make sure that dog poop is picked up. Hmm…have Brandi or Leeanne been visiting the backyard?

Tiffany and Leeanne go to the gym. Leeanne says Tiffany has a 12-pack while she has a keg. Tiffany is house hunting again and Aaron is actually interested. The House of Blues gig has already led to some other things. Leeanne is still freaked at her own behavior in Austin. She says she’s a fun person until she’s not. Okay… They talk about the upcoming party and Tiffany isn’t looking forward to seeing Marie, who she thinks should own up to spreading the Leeanne crapping-her-pants story. Leeanne isn’t looking forward to seeing Cary. Tiffany suggests they skip it, but Leeanne says they’ll think she’s hiding after her display of temper.

Mark tells Cary that she’s out of Grey Goose and wonders if she had the gays over again. Ha-ha! They discuss getting out of town. Cary isn’t looking forward to the event either. She tells Mark about Leeanne spreading rumors that she’s a homewrecker. She says no one stands up to Leeanne because she’s a bully, and since she did, Leeanne is gunning for her.Mark shows her some pictures of fabulous over-priced houses in Switzerland. Cary suggests they stay in a hotel and meet with a realtor. Mark agrees.

Brandi and Bryan are getting the kids ready to go to Stephanie’s Brian Nelson party. (Who the blip is that anyway?) Brandi is happy that she and Bryan were able to communicate and Bryan realized he hasn’t been there for her the way he should be.

Cortney, Tiffany’s friend and realtor, shows her and Aaron a super modern looking home. he backyard is a little disappointing and there are a lot of construction noises. Aaron is concerned about interference with his recording and Tiffany suggests a studio. The realtor says they should get in before the neighborhood blows up. She says there’s another interested couple and they should move quickly. Aaron wonders how he can be in Nashville and in Dallas with Tiffany at the same time, but he wants to try with the Dallas thing. This is blowing my mind – a man who cares enough about his woman to change locations for her. A professional artist no less.

Brandi and family go bowling. Bryan talks to Brandi about wanting to get together with family on the 4th of July. In her interview, Brandi says that when Bryan got a clue, he decided he’d like their little girls to want to marry a man like him. Aww! Bryan has definitely improved.

It’s the day before the party and Brandi goes to Stephanie’s place to help with doody duty. They chat about Leeanne. Stephanie thinks all of the women have something on each other, and that Marie and Leeanne have an unhealthy relationship. Brandi says she’s glad to have a normal best friend and they jump on the trampoline.

Leeanne rehashes the Grace Project speech with Rich. She’s thinking of turning speaking into a career and is meeting with someone about it. Rich thinks she’s good at it and inspires many women. Yeah, when she’s not threatening them. She tells Rich it bothers her that she can bring her old anger to the surface so easily. She says she’d love to bury it, but it’s still a part of her and snowballs fast. She says it makes her flash back to being abandoned. She says she has to work one it. That’s nice and all, but as Dr. Phil would say, how’s that workin’ for ya? She needs therapy. Professional therapy.

Leeanne meets with Jeff Crilley, who works with speakers. They discuss her story and she says the fact that she’s even still alive is a miracle. She also wants to write her memoir, Designed to Shine, the title coming from something her grandmother used to say. Jeff tells her she doesn’t need a book and another staff member says it sounds like she’s still going through the healing process. In her interview, Leeanne says that just because she’s telling her story doesn’t mean she’s still there, and if she inspires and helps others, her story and life will have purpose. I’m floored that a total stranger picked up on something here. Leeanne might not still “be there,” but she reacts to things as though she is. Jeff discusses the monetary side, and says if they do their job right, eventually she can make a whole lot of cash.

Stephanie wants to discuss coordinating outfits for the party, but Bryan wants to run down his mental list. Stephanie is very on top of things, even without a list. She tells him you can lick the grass, it’s so clean.

Cary says the Brian Nelson party is a big social gala event. Okay, so I know that much now. Sigh. She discusses Leeanne with her hairdresser.

There are hundreds of people at the party. And lots of drinking. Leeanne feels she needs to show everyone she’s not the horrible person she was in Austin. Stephanie says she’s surprised to see Leeanne and should have uninvited her. In her interview, Cary says Marie is terrified of Leeanne, but wants to pretend like nothing happened. She and Stephanie discuss Leeanne spreading rumors about Cary. Cary says she wishes Leeanne would just say something to her face.

Cary tells Tiffany that Leeanne won’t even make eye contact. She says that Leeanne can’t be both a victim and a bully. Tiffany says that Leeanne isn’t being a bully just to be a bully, but it’s a reaction to things from her childhood. In her interview, Cary says that Tiffany is cool one on one, but when she’s with Leeanne, she’s like Leeanne’s lap dog.

More drinking. Some eating, but more drinking than eating. Tiffany is annoyed that Marie is having a good time with the other girls. She wants Marie to tell the truth about repeating the poopy Leeanne story. Marie says she didn’t repeat the story, and Tiffany says she’s lying. In her interview, Leeanne says this is the wrong place to be doing this and for once, we’re in agreement. Cary asks to talk to Leeanne.

Leeanne says she gets that Cary doesn’t approve of her and Cary says she can’t say anything without Leeanne turning it around somehow. She says Leeanne hasn’t been honest with her. Leeanne says she feels like Cary is manipulating the other girls to gang up on her. She says something in Cary doesn’t like her and she’s okay with that. Cary says one minute Leeanne plays the victim and the next she’s a bully. In her interview Cary says everyone has gone through things when they were younger, but that doesn’t give anyone an excuse for being an a-hole as an adult. As usual, Leeanne trashes Cary’s character and runs away, with Cary telling her she’s full of it. I wish she would have brought up Leeanne spreading those rumors, since I’d like to hear Leeanne’s response to that.

Leeanne runs back to Tiffany. In her interview, Tiffany says she left LA to get away from the crazies and ended up in a hotbed of other crazies, but she goes home with Aaron, so it’s all good.

This is the finale. Leeanne has gone to anger management. Good. And Rich still hasn’t proposed. Good.

Stephanie an Brandi jump in the pool with their clothing on.

It should be one helluva reunion.I see from the commercials that Andy will be donning his glasses for the occasion.

Southern Charm

Whitney introduces Patricia to her Pug granddog, Chauncey. This is all Whitney will ever have going for him – a really, really cute dog.

Craig visits Kathryn and sees baby Julien. Kathryn tells Craig that something is clicking with her and Thomas (bleh).

Thomas meets JD (who is apparently bucking for a permanent spot on the show) for lunch. Thomas felt the paternity talk at his shower wasn’t appropriate. He adds that Kathryn is doing a 180 and being the sweet Kathryn he loves. He’s going to have a baby unveiling at his house. JD asks if he’s inviting Whitney and Patricia and Thomas says no, but he is going to invite Landon.

Landon and her sister are having coconut soup, which makes my stomach flip, but it’s Landon’s favorite. Landon also makes my stomach flip. Her sister is worried about Landon’s lack of stability. Landon says both of her sisters have a lot going on and she’s floundering. She lets slip about confessing her love for Shep. Her sister suggests that Landon and Shep get drunk and have sex.

Shep tells Cameran about Landon’s confession. He says he was speechless. Cameran asks if he’s attracted to Landon. He says they made out once when she first came back to Charleston. He asks if they should give it a shot and Cameran says they should. I would only tell Shep this if I hated him.

Thomas (bleh) visits Kathryn and the kids. He does seem like a good father. In his interview, he says they’re not in a traditional marriage, but it’s times like this when he thinks it could work out. He tells her that he scratched Whitney and Patricia from the party list and she thanks him. She asks why he’s inviting Landon though, since he said he doesn’t want unsupportive people there. In his interview, Thomas says Landon has a million dollar smile, but I call it vapidity. Thomas asks Kathryn to be the bigger person, but Kathryn says she doesn’t want to go if Landon’s there.

Thomas (bleh) threatens to cancel the dinner. He wants to leave and Kathryn says no, they need to talk it out, so he climbs out the window. I’m not kidding. Not wanting to fall into old patterns, Kathryn decides to be the voice of reason and tells Thomas that it’s okay, he can invite Landon. He comes back in the window, and she tells him just make sure to have her back in case anything happens and he says that sounds fair. In her interview, Kathryn says she doesn’t want to lose the relationship she’s waited so long for. And now we know why Thomas is such a good father. He’s a child.

Cameran stops by Craig’s place and tells him about seeing a therapist regarding not wanting kids. She says before they got serious, she let her husband know that it wasn’t something she was interested in. They discuss going to Thomas’s party. Craig thinks Kathryn has changed for the better. Cameran agrees the party might be a good test to see if Thomas and Kathryn can behave like normal people.

Cooper and Kathryn go shopping. Jennifer calls and asks if Kathryn is going to be around this weekend and Kathryn makes excuses. She tells Jennifer she’ll call her back. Cooper asks what’s up with that and Kathryn says she’s been rethinking the Jennifer friendship.

Landon visits Patricia. I swear Landon can talk without her smile moving. It’s the weirdest thing and possibly a pageant talent. She tells Patricia about professing her love to Shep and how he just laughed. Patricia says no man is worth crying over and to move on. She suggests Landon turn up her look a notch. She also suggests Thomas as an alternative, but even Landon is smart enough to know that’s a bad idea.

Shep and his mother have lunch. Shep says in comparison to his siblings, he’s treading water. They talk about Shep’s romantic life and what he’s looking for. His mom says the older he gets, the more likely he’ll be to find the right person. Shep says he doesn’t want to disappoint everyone. He tells her about Landon and puts his head in his hands. Ha-ha! He thinks either it happens in the beginning or it doesn’t happen. His mom says sometimes it does happen later. He says Landon has a lot of great qualities, but she can be a pit bull. His mom is pretty chill about the whole thing and says things will happen when they happen. Lots of happenings.

Thomas (bleh) gets ready for his party. In her interview, Landon says she’s excited for Shep to see her all dressed up. Well, I can’t believe that has never happened before. In her interview, Kathryn says despite all the friction, no matter how the rest behave, she’s going to be on point.

Hors d’oeuvres are passed and JD asks for a house tour. I will give Thomas this, he had a beautiful job done with the house and I love that he didn’t modernize it too much. Kathryn grits her teeth when Landon comes in and I don’t blame her, hearing that screechy voice. In his interview, Shep says he refuses to have an awkward moment and in hers, Landon says she doesn’t know what to do. Cooper suggests Kathryn play hostess and break the ice with Landon.

Thomas seats everyone for dinner. Cooper is the poor man’s Truman Capote, the way he’s skulking around, practically taking notes. Thomas thanks them for coming and for being supportive. He says it wouldn’t be a true Ravenel dinner without some words of wisdom from the host. Wait for it…

He talks like he’s reading The Charge of the Light Brigade, and says he wants to offer words of wisdom to each of them. He tells Kathryn he’s proud of her and optimistic about the future. He tells Cameran she reminds him of his self-righteous, sanctimonious sisters. Cameran asks why he even wants her there and Craig needs a dictionary because he doesn’t know what the big words mean. Thomas tells Craig to just be real and stop being what he’s not. He suggests Shep take a look at Cameran and compares it to cleaning up a rusty something-or-other. What? He tells Landon she’s been catty and disrespectful to Kathryn and immediately Landon whines that she tried to be Kathryn’s friend. Kathryn feels vindicated, and Craig tells Thomas to be gentle. Thomas says he’d like them to be friends and Shep says it’s his fault more than anyone else’s. Thomas replies, asking Shep how much money he gets from his mommy for allowance and gets all kinds of insulting. Then he yells that he’s being attacked and tells everyone to get out. He asks Shep if he wants to step outside.

Well, bless Thomas’s heart. Isn’t he the fireball tonight.

Thomas says Shep can’t take the competition, but Shep says he doesn’t have to, because Thomas is the lesser man. On the patio, JD says he takes this as a stand for Kathryn. Cooper tries to get Thomas to settle down and Thomas tells everyone to get out again. Landon says she’s been a good friend to Thomas and Kathryn tells her she hasn’t. The group all squeezes into a golf cart. Thomas tells them to get off his property. He goes out to the street, hurling more insults at them, while Cooper continues to try and calm him down.

Next time – the finale – the group discusses the evening, Shep and Landon discuss possibilities, Craig tells Naomie he hasn’t been truthful, the Founders Ball happens, Kathryn says Thomas should ditch Landon, and Kathryn and Landon have it out. It’s going to be a busy night.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason doesn’t think there was a body. Sam says they saw Nicholas on the rocks, but Jason says not really. He thinks it was a set-up. Sam says the first question is why and wonders if it has to do with the financial situation. Jason nixes that. Sam says what would Nicholas be running from, but Jason says not what, who?

Jordan sends out the cops to bring Jason in.

Dr. Mays asks Lucas if he knows what happened to him. Lucas says someone tried to kill him. Jordan comes to Lucas’s room and Obrecht says he was just about to tell them what he remembers. He says he brought Bobbie to the hospital and Dr. Finn treated her for vertigo. He says he was leaving, but forgot his car keys. When he came back into Bobbie’s room, someone was standing over her with a syringe. When he asked what they were doing, they turned and attacked him. The next thing he remembers, Brad was talking to him and waking him up. When Jordan asks for a description, Lucas says it was a doctor. Jordan asks which one.

Maxie wants Nathan to rest, but he says he wants to talk. He says it’s time he made a full confession. Maxie asks if he cheated on her or got someone pregnant. He says he loves her and there’s no one else, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him. She says how serious can it be; it’s not like he killed someone, but Nathan is like, um….

Hayden introduces her mother, Naomi, to jackass Elizabeth. Hayden says they can stay and chat, but she’s out of there. Elizabeth says don’t bother, she’s leaving.

Lucas tells Jordan it’s fuzzy and she says to picture it in his mind. He says it was dark and the lights were off, but he assumed it was a doctor because of the white lab coat. She asks about their hair and he says they were wearing a cap and mask and it could have been anybody. Well, that narrows it down.

Franco tells Elizabeth he left her a message. He asks if Jason told her not to talk to him, but Elizabeth says Jason doesn’t tell her what to do. She says she’s just overwhelmed.

Hayden asks how Naomi found her. Naomi says a mother knows and Hayden asks where she was when Hyden was in a coma? Glossing over that, Naomi says she came because she heard about Nicholas’s accident and everything will be okay because she’s there now. Hayden says nothing will ever be okay.

Jason says staging his death wouldn’t solve Nicholas’s financial problems, but it might solve his legal ones.

Maxie asks Nathan who he killed. He says he’s not sure if he even hit them, but he shot at someone. (Griff?) She asks if it was when he was a cop in New York and he says yes, but he wasn’t on duty. He says it’s time she knew the whole story about Claudette, and Maxie asks if that’s who he shot.

Monica tells Lucas he’s pushing himself too hard and she wants everyone out now.

Nathan says he shot Claudette’s lover. He says at the time, he was drinking a lot. One night when he was supposed to be at work, he came home and found her in bed with someone. He says he shot blindly and then passed out. When he came to, the guy was gone, and Claudette wouldn’t tell him what happened or who it was. He says he looked for the guy, but never found him, although he might have ended up in prison if he had.

Jordan wants a list of who was working the night Lucas came in. Obrecht suggests she focus on the staff with unsavory histories, starting with Finn.

Naomi says she’s not responsible for Hayden’s father going to prison, he is. She says if she hadn’t turned him in, the both of them might be paying for his crimes. She says she did what had to be done, but the little girl in Hayden doesn’t want to blame her father. She says Hayden might feel differently if she knew the whole truth.

Jason says the door at Windemere was closed when he arrived and just after he called out to Nicholas, he heard the noises. When he got to Nicholas’s bedroom, he heard the crash. Sam says that’s when she came in. Jason says Nicholas staged the room and then broke the window so it looked like he was pushed, but how did he get out? Sam says even if he used a secret passageway, he wouldn’t have had enough time to get downstairs and onto the rocks. Jason says maybe he didn’t have to.

Finn says Obrecht is crossing the line. Mays asks if she has proof. She says the proof is in Dr. Jones and there’s evidence of a pattern. Mays suggests they go back over the patient deaths, perhaps for years. Jordan asks if she can talk to Finn later and he says of course. Monica tells Jordan she has the cooperation of the complete staff. Jordan tells her about the warrant issued for Jason’s arrest.

Sam tells Jason they saw the body, but he says they were too far away to really know what they saw. He explains how Nicholas could have set all that up first, and while he made his escape through a passageways, they saw what he wanted them to see, and then removed the “body” while they were running downstairs. He says Nicholas might have been setting up someone else.

Naomi says Hayden’s father made his own choices and they were collateral damage. She says they’ve been bled dry and Hayden says that’s what she’s been telling the Feds but they won’t leave her alone. Naomi says to let her help and perhaps in return, Hayden could help her. She’s trying to track down her diamond necklace.

Elizabeth gets nasty with Obrecht and Franco steers her away. Elizabeth thinks Hayden has something to do with Nicholas’s disappearance, but she doesn’t know what. He says if Hayden is looking to get a rival, she’s come to the right place.

Maxie says it makes sense why she couldn’t track down Claudette; she’s hiding from Nathan. Nathan says he hated himself for lying to her, but they can find a way past it. Maxie isn’t too sure about that. She says she’s done her share of lying in the past, but he knew that about her. She says she always saw him one way and now he’s turned out to be someone completely different.

Nathan says he’s still the same guy. She says the guy she met never would have lied to her. She says it took a while for her to trust him and now this.

Naomi says she loves Hayden, but she wants her fair share of the asset that’s left. Hayden says she should have called first, since she doesn’t know where it is. Naomi tells Hayden she knows about Nicholas selling the diamond, and Hayden says now he’s gone and so are they. Naomi says she’s lying and Hayden says between Naomi and Elizabeth Webber, she’s had enough today. Naomi recognizes Elizabeth’s name.

Franco says Elizabeth needs to get away and she asks what he has in mind.

Sam wonders if Hayden is involved. Monica calls Jason, telling him there’s a warrant out for his arrest. He relays that to Sam.

Monica wants to talk to Finn and asks him flat out if he has a drug problem. He says no. She says it’s in both their interests that he be exonerated and she asks him to take a drug test.

Nathan tells Brad he’s sorry he missed the wedding and Brad says he’s just glad Nathan is okay and they’ll get married one way or another.

Mays asks Obrecht how sure she is about Finn. She says she’s sure he can’t be trusted and it takes a secret keeper to know one.

Monica tells Finn she stuck her neck out for him and take the test so they can move on.

Jason says the cops will expect him to run, so they’re better off where they are for now. He breaks out some scotch and Sam looks for dominoes. Jason remembers them drinking tequila and him winning at a game. She says he remembers the winning part wrong.

Franco says he just wants to help Elizabeth and she says she believes that, but she doesn’t want any more complications in her life right now. She says Nicholas was her true friend. Franco says she can’t see it right now, but she’s wrong.

Naomi says Elizabeth’s name sounds familiar. She says first thing tomorrow, they’ll search the house for the diamonds. For tonight she’s staying at the MetroCourt because the government didn’t take away her points.

Maxie wonders what happens if Nathan’s past catches up with him. She says she needs to sort things out and she’s going to her parents’ house for the night.

Tomorrow, Nathan asks Maxie if they’re still together, Diane tells Alexis to turn Julian in, and Julian suggests silencing Sonny permanently.

Southern Charm

It’s weird how a lot of these houses that look like they have old world charm from the outside, manage to look so modern on the inside. Craig visits his old boss, Frank. He brings Frank up to speed on what he’s been doing, and Frank says Craig went to law school for three years so what’s up with that? Craig says that’s why he’s here; he wants to know if it’s too late. Frank says if in all this time, he hasn’t taken the bar, he’ll have a hard time convincing anyone he’s really interested in a law career. Frank tells him to pass the bar and he’ll set Craig on the right path to be a successful lawyer.

Shep meets Bailey (of the surfboard painting) for lunch. He asks what’s up with her flirting with him. She says she cares about him, but he doesn’t seem interested in commitment, so she’s just interested in him as a friend. I hear the whistle of the bomb drop in the background.

Cameran visits her mother. She tells her mom about Shep assisting her in real estate and that she isn’t sure it’s such a great idea. She says she also saw a therapist about her negativity toward having children. Her mother says that if she feels that terrible about having them, maybe she shouldn’t have them, and there’s nothing wrong with that. She says any fool can have a baby, and not to do what society is telling her to do. She tells Cameran to get a dog. Cameran jokes that without spending it on kids, she’ll have enough money to put her mom in a nice home when the time comes.

Shep meets Cameran at the property they’re showing. It’s a house from 1915 and I’m in love. Shep makes a few faux pas, but none of it seems that bad to me. It’s certainly nothing that would make or break a sale. Afterward, Cameran is annoyed that Shep didn’t put more effort into educating himself about the house, and fires him.

Thomas and Kathryn bring new baby, St. Julien, home. So as not to be confused with the West/Kardashian baby, they’re calling him Julien. (I made up that first part) JD and Shep wait for Thomas at a bar. JD has brought fancy cigars.Thomas arrives and shows everyone a picture of Julien. Thomas says they’ve decided on no circumcision. Um…that probably isn’t a good idea. As Shep puts it, locker rooms can be tough. He makes a toast to Julien, “future leader of this great country and the world.” JD calls for more shots. I’d like one too, please.

Whitney and Shep meet for lunch. All anyone does in this town is eat and drink, and drink. Shep tells Whitney he screwed up with Bailey. In his interview, Whitney says he doesn’t think Shep has ever been in love. Whitney tells him there comes a time when you want stability and the dating world gets old. Shep doesn’t think chasing women ever gets old, but he’s not that old – he’s ten years younger than Whitney – so I don’t think this is so awful.

Nanny Dawn is trying to put together a piece of baby furniture – another constant, at least at Kathryn’s house. Dawn asks Kathryn how Thomas reacted to the baby. Kathryn says he’s thrilled to have a son, and even suggested taking a pass on going out with JD, but she encouraged him to go. She says she feels happy for the first time in a long time and is hoping her hormones stay in check.

Shep calls Landon (bleh). He’s in the neighborhood and wants to stop by. In her interview, she says she feels “vulnerable” around Shep (ugh!). They’ve been friends for so long, she’s afraid to cross the line. They have wine and make small talk. He tells her that things didn’t work out with Bailey. Landon says she felt a little jealous about him getting serious with her. When he asks why, she says because maybe she loves him. Brilliant. Shep is astonished and isn’t sure what to say, so he just says, why? Landon says she’s loved him for a long time and he must have known. Shep says he feels badly and he didn’t know. Oh man, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry here. Shep is incredibly uncomfortable, but Landon is such an idiot and I can’t stand her, so there’s some satisfaction in her making this incredibly stupid move. Shep leaves because what else can he do?

Landon claims she’s trying to get out of her comfort zone and says she usually gets what she wants. Well, not that time. She visits that media guy, who I guess has a house in Charleston. She shows him a sort of look-book. He says he thought she’d be further along technologically, like something on an iPad, not handing him a bunch of papers. He says any serious investor is going to want to see a website and at this point, he can’t connect her with investors because they’d laugh her out of the room. This woman is definitely a legend in her own mind type.

Thomas goes over to Kathryn’s place. As much of an idiot as he is, he does seem to be good with the kids. He asks Kathryn if she’s ready for a third one and she says she’s ready for a ring. In his interview, he says he’d marry her in a second if it could always be like that. Dude, no life is always like that. She says they had a period where they weren’t communicating and the involvement of other people didn’t help. Thomas thinks Jennifer wasn’t helping any either. He says she’s not a healthy person to have around him, whatever that means. In her interview, Kathryn says even though she thinks Jennifer cares about her, her relationship with Thomas is more important. They hug.

Patricia has brought in a chef for her dinner honoring the new baby. She says if left to her own devices, it would just be Vienna sausages and martinis. I guess this is like a baby shower for guys. That’s one way around inviting Kathryn.

Dinner is served. With placecards and everything. There isn’t one of these shows where I don’t rave about the food, so considered it raved over. They talk about the Founder’s Ball, which is apparently some recently made up thing. They talk about Craig working for JD like Craig isn’t there. Shep drops the bomb that Landon told him she’s in love with him. Patricia thinks it’s worth checking out, but Shep says they hooked up once and Landon decided once was enough. To change the subject, Shep makes a toast to Patricia for hosting them.

They go to the sitting room for after dinner drinks. JD asks Thomas if he’s going to do a paternity test. Thomas says they did one, but it was inconclusive. Craig basically tells Thomas that he’s gullible. With the first baby, Kathryn had briefly dated someone else, but Kelsie is definitely his. Patricia stirs the pot by saying Kathryn is no stranger to lying.

Next time, Craig says Kathryn deserves a second chance, Thomas has a dinner party, and Thomas tells everyone off – we’re back where we started in the first episode. Looks good.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Austin road trip! Travis and Bryan built a house there together, so it’s shared between the couples. Brandi didn’t consult with Stephanie before inviting all the girls, but Stephanie is a good sport about it. It must be universal that when a woman packs for a weekend, she brings enough stuff for a month. The first night, they’ll have a private chef and the next, they’re going out after a spa day. The husbands are on kid duty.

The drinking starts on the bus. Stephanie has to pee, and goes in a cup. You mean to tell me all the money these women have and they couldn’t get something with a bathroom in it? When Leeanne says it’s disgusting, the topic of her pooping her pants comes up. Touche…I guess.

They get to the house and do more drinking. Tiffany breaks a glass, so it’s officially a party. Leeanne and a couple of the other girls lounge by the pool and Leeanne is beyond upset that Marie passed along the poop story. In her interview, Leeanne explains that it had been her birthday and she’d taken a bunch of laxatives to “get skinny,” and they literally backfired when she got drunk. I think these Wives officially get the TMI award now. Does Bravo have one of those?

Commercial break with important information. The Orange County Uncensored special airs next Monay (June 13) at 9 pm.

Colin the chef arrives. Stephanie says she can’t be trusted in the kitchen, especially since she once gave Bryan some tea she accidentally made out of potpourri and he ended up in the hospital. Sure it was a mistake. Leeanne is still furious with Marie, but doesn’t want it to ruin everyone’s time. Brandi thanks Tiffany for the song Aaron dedicated to her brother at House of Blues, which brings everyone back to reality. Leeanne says Rich has PTSD after losing someone he tried to save as a police officer.

Uh-oh. Fireball shots. That stuff will clear out your sinuses. Amazing food appears! And amazing wine in amazing wine glasses. Leeanne talks about how when her grandmother took her in as a child, it was the first time she’d felt wanted . Brandi is feeling like she misjudged Leeanne. They talk about trust issues and Cary says she’s felt judged by Leeanne. I appreciate where Leeanne is coming from, but I still think she needs therapy for dealing with her communication skills.

Drunk Brandi struggles with opening a bottle of wine and Leeanne comes to the rescue. Chef Coli leaves and Brandi demonstrates a cheerleading move on the dining table. Another glass gets broken and Brandi falls off of her chair when she puts a rose between her toes and pretends it’s talking to the bottle. I’m not making this up.

The next morning, Brandi says she woke up to Leeanne screaming. Cary says she overheard her telling Marie she was going to slaughter her. Stephanie heard her saying she was gong  to get her carny side on, whatever that means. Tiffany thinks Leeanne should talk to Marie, but Leeanne says Marie doesn’t want to talk. Well, yeah, she obviously feels threatened and you’re following her around. Brandi is freaked because she wanted to like Leeanne.

Leeanne approaches Marie, who keeps denying she passed along the story. Tiffany asks how Cooper would have known then. Marie says Leeanne is way out of line in the way she talks about violence against people who cross her. By now, the other girls are at the table and agree that Leeanne was being abusive. Once again in her interview, Leeanne says that’s not how she want to be. Well, don’t be that then. Leeanne apologizes to everyone. Stephanie says as a social worker, she wouldn’t even have let her clients talk to her like that. Cary says she was definitely threatening and Leeanne says kill means something different to her and this is between her and Marie.

Cary asks Marie what she thinks it means and Marie is hesitant. Cary thinks she’s afraid of Leeanne. Tiffany says she doesn’t think it’s okay, but she knows Leeanne doesn’t really mean the things she says in anger. In her interview, Tiffany wonders why no one is pointing out what Marie did to provoke Leeanne in the first place.

Leeanne says she’s calling a cab. Because it’s better to run away than actually face the consequences of her actions. She tells Tiffany that she feels like Cary is judging her and it’s not all right for her to be human, but it’s okay for Cary to have stolen somebody else’s husband, which is a totally appropriate thing to drag in. Tiffany makes her come back in.

Leeanne whines to Brandi about what happened to her as a child. In her interview, Brandi says she gets that this is the way Leeanne behaves when she’s hurt. She says every time Leeanne has an issue, she runs away (thank you), and she should stay and take responsibility for her actions (double thank you). Brandi asks Leeanne to stay.

The girls go to the spa. Cary is glad to get out and move past the drama. She says something isn’t right with Leeanne upstairs. Ya think? Stephanie says Marie is probably used to the abuse.

Leeanne and Marie talk. Marie says she didn’t sleep well. She says that she loves Leeanne unconditionally and knows she was hurt and said things she didn’t mean. Leeanne says she’s disappointed in herself and Marie says she’s sorry. Weird. It’s like an abused wife, apologizing because the husband beat her.

It’s time to go out for the evening. Stephanie says her only hope for their birthday dinner is that no one gets killed. Leeanne barely says a word, sitting silently with a sour face, and Stephanie says that’s how she works – she goes out of her mind and then shuts down. Cary says something that I miss, Leeanne pouts, and Tiffany says Leeanne is being attacked. Somehow the topic of Leeanne’s fit is brought up again and Tiffany claims she didn’t hear anything. Marie says it’s between her and Leeanne, and Tiffany says no one is getting what she’s saying. Brandi excuses herself.In her interview, Brandi says Tiffany is a Leeanne enabler.

Tiffany says she tries to surround herself with people who bring out the best in her, but somehow the worst is being brought out. She tells Stephanie it’s really no one else’s business and Stephanie says don’t bring it in her house then.

Stephanie meets Brandi in the bathroom. Brandi says she’s exhausted and hungover and the situation with Tiffany is ridiculous. So she comes back to the table to drink some more. Carly says she has to “tinkle,” a euphamism I haven’t heard in a long time. Brandi is disappointed at how Leeanne’s behavior gets swept under the rug and says she’ll never change if that continues to happen.

Next time, a huge event is planned, dog poop is found, and Leeanne spreads rumors about Cary who confronts her.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Like a good stage manager should, Felix yells at everyone to focus and get everything ready. Brad and Lucas talk about how everything is always a mess before the Nurses Ball, but somehow it comes together at the last minute. Just as Lucas says nothing bad is going to happen, something falls with a loud crash.

Hayden tells Curtis that being broke is no picnic. It isn’t for Nicholas either, who’s calling the bank to make his deposit liquid immediately and staring at the shiny big diamond he’s going to sell. He trips over something of Spencer’s and the diamonds go everywhere. Elizabeth comes in and he asks her not to tell anyone.

Obrecht tells Finn she’s been doing research on him. She says his former employer has some strange privacy protocols. He asks what she’s looking for. She says she wants to make sure the trail of corpses didn’t start at a previous job. He says she’s crazy and she says her only concern is the patients.

Julian gives Alexis a gorgeous necklace, like that’s going to make her forget he’s a murderer. She says he’s trying to buy her silence. He asks if every gesture he makes is going to be picked apart now. Yeah, probably.

Sonny and Michael are on the plane and Michael says he’s going to follow Sonny’s lead. Sonny says the line between business and family has been blurred, but this is the first and last time.

Sabrrrina begs for her life. Marcos says he was crazy to let Carrrlos talk him into hiding her. He says practically the whole world is looking for her, including Sonny. She suggests he turn her over to Sonny. She says she used to date Michael and Marcos says Michael has already been looking for her. She tells him he’ll just make it worse if he kills her. Marcos says he has to cover his tracks so there’s nothing to connect them. Just as he’s about to shoot, Michael comes storming in with Sonny right behind. Michael knocks Marcos down and gets the gun away. Well, Marcos just made a mess for himself.

Elizabeth asks where the diamonds came from. Nicholas tells her it’s a recent acquisition, and even though she’s usually a dimbulb, Elizabeth figures it out right away. She says if he turns them over to the Feds, Hayden will be gone forever. He says too late, he’s already sold one.

Hayden says she hates being poor more than she hates being wronged. She tells Curtis she has something going on the side that might change things. She says she’ll catch up to him later and maybe he’ll change his mind about stealing the diamonds back.

Valerie tries to talk Bobbie into being in her act, but Bobbie says she’s already doing something and she’s not feeling that great. Lucas asks if she’s sick and she says she wouldn’t miss the Nurses Ball; it’s her favorite night of the year. Since they made a point of her not feeling well, I assume this is going to factor in later. Brad and Lucas look like cats who ate canaries and Lucas says this might be her favorite one ever.

Hayden asks to talk to Finn. He says no. She gives him a check for ten grand and says it doesn’t begin to cover his loss, but it’s a start. He says money can’t bring the people back who died because of her father’s greed. I’m kind of surprised he’s being so unreasonable.

Sonny tells Michael to take Sabrrrina back to the plane. Marcos starts to babble and Sonny tells him to shut up. He says if Marcos wants to save his own life, he’ll tell him about Julian Jerome. Ha-ha! Big baby Marcos isn’t so tough anymore.

Julian asks if Alexis is going to second guess everything now, but she says she loves him and she just needs to process things. He says blah-blah-blah their future is entirely in their own hands. He gets a call from Lucas who wants to ask him something in person and asks Julian to meet him at the hospital. Julian asks Alexis if she wants to come, but she says she has a lot of work and a manicure appointment. And she’s washing her hair. I made that last one up. Julian leaves and Alexis breaks out the bloody shirt. She makes a call, asking someone to come over immediately.

Curtis tells Valerie her rehearsal looked good. She says what about his act, and he says it’s top secret.

Bobbie tells Brad she’s happy he’s joining the family. Felix overhears her talking about them getting married at the Nurses Ball. There goes that secret.

Nathan asks Julian to be his best man. Julian says he’ll have to find someone else. He says nothing would make him happier, but he doesn’t want to steal the spotlight since he’s been in the news recently. Lucas says they don’t care, but Julian says he wants something better for them.

Nicholas tells Elizabeth the diamonds are leverage against Hayden and also collateral. He says they can help him maintain his lifestyle until he gets it together. He says because of the diamonds, he was able to contribute to the Nurses Ball. Elizabeth says Lucy would have understood, but she’ll keep his secret.

Sonny grills big baby Marcos about Julian. He says Carrrlos kept him in the dark for the most part. Sonny is like, oh, so you got involved by accident? Marcos says he did and he doesn’t want any trouble with Sonny. Sonny says that’s too bad because now he has no use for Marcos. Marcos swears he didn’t know anything; he was just doing a favor for Carrrlos. Sonny tells him it’s going to be a costly favor.

Diane comes to Alexis’s house. Alexis wants Diane to be her attorney. I love Diane and can’t wait to see how this plays out. Diane asks if something has made her question Julian and Alexis says possibly. Diane asks if it has to do with Carrrlos, and tells her that she doesn’t have to worry about testifying against her husband. Alexis says it’s not Julian she’s worried about; it’s herself.

Sabrrrina thanks Michael and asks why he came after she lied to him and ditched him. She explains how Carrrlos talked her into going with him, but she realized immediately that it was a bad choice. Michael says she should have come to him. She says she picked up the phone a bunch of times, but she was with the man who shot his father and she was afraid. Michael tells her Carrrlos is dead and she says she knew already, and God help her, she was relieved. Michael says he’s the one who found him, but Carrrlos wouldn’t tell her where she was and then died at the hospital.

Nicholas tells Lucy he’ll be at the Nurses Ball with his wife. Hayden comes in and asks where he got money for the donation. He says he re-positioned some of his assets. She says he doesn’t have any and realizes he sold some of her diamonds.

Hayden wrestles Nicholas for the diamonds. They end up in a compromising position and almost kiss. He tells her that she has to play the doting wife at the Nurses Ball. She asks what she’s supposed to wear and he gives her a diamond, saying hock this. She says they both have leverage on the other, but he has more to lose than she does.

Sonny tells Marcos he’s not going to shoot him…today. A cop enters and Sonny says he makes a point of cooperating with law enforcement. He says Marcos’s associates are going to testify against him. Marcos calls him a bastard, but Sonny says don’t blame him, blame Carrrlos.

Curtis suggests he and Valerie do a number together. He says he can just stand there and she can make him look good.

Brad asks Felix to be his best man. Felix says yes, and Lucas says Brad is doing better than him. Lucas calls Sam and she agrees to be his best person.

Diane tells Alexis that if she has evidence, she should come out with it now before the police find it independently. She asks if Julian has been threatening her. She shows Diane the necklace and says she loves Julian, but can barely look at him. Diane says he should know better than to buy her silence. Alexis says she’s not necessarily afraid of him, just afraid. Diane promises to be at her side every step of the way and asks if she thinks she can turn him in. Alexis says she has to be able to sleep at night. Julian walks in. He has the best timing of any character on the show.

Elizabeth tries to talk to Finn and he blows her off, then goes back to apologize. He says Roxie is almost as misunderstood as he is, but she would even be embarrassed at his behavior. He leaves and Obrecht tells Elizabeth to stay away from him and that he’s not who he seems to be. She doesn’t know in what way, but she’s going to find out.

Sonny gets back to the plane and tells Michael about Marcos. He says Marcos was too scared to lie and he has to find another way to get Julian.

Diane tells Julian she’s there to steal Alexis away. Alexis says they’re going for a manicure together for the Nurses Ball. Julian says Lucas wanted him to be his best man, but he said no because of the publicity. Diane tells Alexis they have to move or they’ll be late. Outside, Alexis says that she doesn’t want Julian arrested before the wedding, so they’re really going for a manicure. Julian peeks out in between the blinds.

Tomorrow, the Nurses Ball! Carly tells us that this year it’s going to be better than ever. I always wonder how Lucy will lose her clothes. I love tradition on this show. Like the Quartermaines having pizza every Thanksgiving.

Southern Charm

Who knew Craig was going to be the one to get a clue? He tells Whitney he’s just mad that Kathryn hooked up with his best friend after being with him. He says it’s the only logical explanation for the hate. Cameran isn’t believing it, but he says give him a better explanation then. He says they can’t come up with a reason for hating Kathryn so much. Whitney is aghast that Craig is believing Kathryn over him. Craig says Whitney keeps saying Kathryn offended him, so how? Whitney just keeps calling her a lying psychopath.

Craig reminds Whitney about him calling Craig out at his parents’ for being a lazy bum. Craig doesn’t believe you can be so passionate about hating someone unless it was personal. In his interview, Shep says if he was a shrink, he’d be wondering about Whitney’s passionate protests and brings up the Shakespeare quote about protesting too much. Whitney claims it was a one-night stand and starts getting stupid. Shep finally tells everyone to shut up. Whitney calls Craig names and leaves the deck. In his interview, Craig says Whitney’s being a bully has come back to haunt him.

Cameran tells Craig he should be ashamed and he says he had to get it off his chest. Cameran says Whitney has never been hurt over a girl, and wonders if Craig is just creating drama. Shep says he’s sick of blubbering idiots and goes to get champagne. Dani says it’s not okay to sit around and say how crazy Kathryn is and if they’re going to say something about Kathryn, Thomas should be discussed too, because it takes two. JD says their relationship has affected everyone. Cameran says it’s sick and pathetic to watch.

Craig tells Shep this has been a huge source of animosity among the friends, but Shep says he’s annoyed this all came about at his house. He says it isn’t the time or place for Craig’s theories. Cameran tells Craig he should apologize to Whitney. For what? Cameran calls baby Whitney back in and Craig says he’s sorry he upset Whitney, but he thinks there was more going on between him and Kathryn. Why is this such an outlandish idea? Cameran tells him to care about things that matter , you know, because another human being doesn’t. I don’t get this irrational hate either and figure Craig is right.

Naomie tells Craig he was rude and he ruined everyone’s night. Craig says he’s sorry, but in his interview, he says if you don’t stand up for people, you’re a coward and he believes this is the truth.Whitney gets absolutely insane about someone he claims to care nothing about? Really? And we saw that she was keeping her clothing at his house, so wtf? I liked Whitney at the beginning, but he’s turned out to be one big d-bag. I liked his mother too, but ditto. You’re not all that anymore, honey. If you ever were.

Whitney says he woke up angry. Oh man, he is totally lying about that one-night stand. Otherwise, he would just laugh it off. He says Craig is just harboring resentment about how Whitney behaved at Craig’s parents’, which at least he admits wasn’t quite the right approach. Cameran and Whitney leave. Bye, Felicias!

Thomas calls Kathryn. She tells him her induction date has been moved up. Her blood pressure has been like a roller coaster, so the doctor wants to get the baby born.

At breakfast, Landon tells Shep she had fun except for the Craig thing. Shep says he doesn’t get hangovers from drinking, but he does from stupid stuff. Dani has left too, but because of work. Craig says Whitney can dish it out, but he can’t take it, and ran away like the guilty party he is.

Patricia goes to visit Whitney, who is playing guitar badly. It’s Whitney’s third loft in three years and Patricia says they’ve all looked like Isis prison camps. She asks about the trip. Wait for it….

He doesn’t want to talk about it. Patricia lets it go, since Southern WASPs don’t talk about their feelings. She asks him to bring his girlfriend, Larissa, around some time. Whitney talks about a guy’s trip to LA, but says he only has two bedrooms, so he’s only inviting Thomas and Shep. Patricia says she saw JD at the bank and asked what Craig actually does for him, and JD said Craig is his bitch. These people might be Southern, but not so charming. As a matter-of-fact, they’re pretty rude. Is this what old money does to you?

Thomas can’t get ahold of Kathryn. Nanny Dawn says Kathryn is angry because he’s going to LA with Whitney and if anything happens, he’ll never get back in time. Dawn tells him Kathryn left, but she doesn’t know where she went. She says Kathryn is overwhelmed and this could have been avoided. Cool that the nanny is on Kathryn’s side.

Craig has invited Cameran to lunch to clear the air. Naomie says she’s never seen Whitney so upset. Craig says they seem to be on a mission to ostracize Kathryn and he’s surprised at Cameran. Naomie was shocked at how crazy everyone got and says she’d rather not hear about it anymore. Craig still believes what he believes, but doesn’t think it’s worth losing friendships over.

Whitney gets to his place in LA to clean up a little before the guys’ weekend. Thomas calls and says he’s not coming because of Kathryn. Whitney doesn’t get it, but says he has to do his fatherly duties and maybe another time. Thomas feels it’s better to keep things peaceful.

Cameran meets Craig for lunch. She’s another one I liked at first, but I think has become unreasonable. She tells him Whitney was really hurt about him taking Kathryn’s side. Craig says in his head it was a question, but it came off as an accusation. Cameran says Whitney doesn’t have the hots for Kathryn, he just doesn’t like her. Even if that’s the case, why can’t he at least be polite? Craig asks if they’re good and Cameran says she’s fine, but he has to make it right with Whitney. I also don’t get why this group is so supportive of Thomas, who is like the biggest idiot on earth and should be hanging out with people his own age. For a moment, I wonder why I’m watching this, since apparently, I can’t stand any of these people.

Thomas has flowers sent to Kathryn, who has a beautiful white dog. Wow. The lady delivers them in a vase with water already in it. No muss, no fuss. The note just says, “I’m very sorry – love, Thomas.” To the point.

Whitney calls Shep and tells him Thomas can’t make it. Shep asks about bringing Craig and tells Whitney he should be the better person and in his interview, says that grudges are for losers. Whitney makes some lowbrow comments, but says he’ll think about it. Anyone who dates this jerk has to be in it for the money. He has zero personality and even less of a sense of humor. He also uses words that make him sound educated, but seem inappropriate.

Craig visits Kathryn, who says she thinks Kensie has a crush on him. Aww! I’ll bet he’s cute with kids. Craig tells her about the fight at Shep’s house and how panicked Whitney got when he brought up that Whitney might have feelings for Kathryn. Craig says he was just trying to mend the friend circle, but thinks there’s no going back. He tells Kathryn she shouldn’t care though. Kathryn says ultimately the truth will come out and she only wants positivity for the new baby.

Larissa comes to LA. Whitney gives her a heart-shaped mylar balloon that says “I love you.” Bleh. He couldn’t do better than that? He’s written her a song. I put in earplugs. Yep, it’s bad.

Shep meets Craig at his bar. Craig asks if he’s talked to Whitney. Shep says it wasn’t a lose friends situation, but it was a dent. He says he’s been working behind the scenes for an invite to LA for Craig. Craig swears he won’t bug Whitney anymore about the Kathryn thing. Shep tells him he put his rep on the line because he cares about him.

Commercial break. Nine Lives looks really funny, and you can’t beat a Kevin Spacey/ Christopher Walken combo. Seriously, what could be any better?

Thomas visits Kathryn. Dawn takes Kelsie to the park. Thomas is putting together a piece of baby furniture. Kathryn tells Thomas her feelings are hurt because Whitney is always trying to put a wedge between them. She thinks that Thomas has made progress in co-parenting and she’s annoyed that Whitney wanted Thomas to go away so close to when she’ll need him. She tells him he should be around people who want him to be a better person and the best father he can be.

Next time, The LA trip, Craig apologizes to Whitney, Landon thinks she has a chance with Shep (please, no), JD can’t find Craig, JD suggests a paternity test to Thomas.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Leeanne and Tiffany meet for lunch, along with Leeanne’s friend, Heidi Dillon. Apparently, I’m supposed to know who she is, but she looks like someone who shouldn’t be wearing what she’s wearing – some kind of outfit Kanye West might show up in. Leeanne says Heidi is her mentor. Tiffany’s husband is doing a charity event at the House of Blues and she invites Heidi.

Heidi is having a dinner party so she can meet the other girls. She’s going to be making a Frito chili pie, whatever that is. It doesn’t look like something that goes with this woman’s lifestyle. Tiffany suggests inviting Stephanie and Brandi. Leeanne says she probably won’t like Brandi, but Heidi says she’ll keep an open mind. I already don’t like Heidi, since she alludes that Cary got her rich husband by doing something nasty under his desk. I don’t know what was up with how they got together, but Cary doesn’t seem like someone who would sleep her way to the top.

Mark and Cary’s practice is going crazy busy after they updated the website. It’s their six-year anniversary. Mark tells Cary she knows what he wants for his present. They kiss through their surgical masks. Bluebirds fly around with ribbons in their mouths. Well, they would if this was a Disney cartoon.

Brandi talks to her mom, Jana. Her brother, Michael, has PTSD from serving in Afghanistan and she says he’s not sleeping or eating. He tried to take his own life and they’re both worried for him. Brandi visits Stephanie, who took the kids to school before realizing one of them wasn’t wearing shoes. Brandi tells her about Michael. She says she was angry with him for saying things like there’s no God, but she didn’t realize how bad it was. Brandi says she doesn’t know what she’d do without Stephanie. Yeah, especially with that cold fish of a husband she has. Go back to work, Bryan, and stay there. Just send the check.

Leeanne and Tiffany go shopping for House of Blues dresses. Tiffany is a little concerned because it’s the first time all the girls are getting together since Marie’s cocktail party. Leeanne says she wants to apologize to Stephanie, but doesn’t think she owes Brandi an apology. Really? She said some very nasty things about her. Tiffany tells her about Brandi’s brother and Leeanne feels marginally like an ass. Tiffany just wants to put the whole mess behind them.

Cary and Mark have a drink at home after work. She says there are a lot of haters who think Mark just wanted to sleep with her for a while, but they’re best friends. Mark’s personal shopper brings something from Roberto Cavalli for her. No surprise it’s amazing and he says it should be since it cost more than his first car. She gives him a lovey-dovey card and will be giving him a private present. In her interview, Cary says haters gonna hate, but they love each other, the end. Good on ya!

Brandi meets Bryan for lunch. She feels anxious and nervous because she doesn’t know what to expect. She thinks their lack of communication needs to be addressed. They talk about Michael. She says she feels alone and surprise! Bryan apologizes for being a jerk. Brandi says it hurt her feelings when he barely showed up to meet her grandfather. I’m totally shocked and amazed when he apologizes again and says they need to find couple time. She says he rarely apologizes and she’s thrilled. Okay, he’s back on my good side.

Commercial break. Is it wrong for me to be thinking about tomorrow’s breakfast already?

Stephanie meets Leeanne for lunch. It’s so hard to look at Leeanne because all I see is blush. Leeanne apologizes and Stephanie says Leeanne really hurt her feelings. Leeanne says she was coming from a place of pain, but that’s not really her. I hate when people say that. Who was it then? She says she was really hurt as a child and when anyone tries to hurt her, she gets loud. I think Brandi is absolutely right; she needs therapy. She’s too old to be using this as an excuse to be mean. Stephanie thinks the apology is more for Leeanne than her, but she just wants to get past it. Leeanne moves on to talking more about herself and how she’s a motivational speaker. In her interview, Stephanie says Leeanne is the most self-absorbed, narcissistic person she’s ever met and it’s beyond exhausting. Leeanne invites her to whatever conference she’s speaking at.

It’s time for the House of Blues event. The girls arrive and Leeanne introduces Heidi, who is wielding a fan. Cary thinks she should tone it down and I agree. Heidi says she’s having a dinner party and the theme is goth state fair. Okay. Keith Urban Aaron takes the stage. He’s not bad. He dedicates a song to Brandi’s brother and says his life means a great deal and to keep the faith. What a nice guy. Leeanne feels guilty and wants to move beyond the drama. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Leeanne is getting ready for Heidi’s party. She says the only person she’s hesitant to see is Cary, but boyfriend Rich says she’s great and Leeanne is just passing along gossip. She says she’ll work on being a better Christian and a better human. I see we have a long road to travel.

Cary is also getting ready for Heidi’s party. She’s bringing her friend Courtney. They talk about Leeanne and Cary’s makeup artist says something about her blush. Thank you. See? I wasn’t just picking on her.

The guests arrive and some of the outfits are pretty interesting. I think Brandi might have gotten her dress at Spirit Halloween. Cary arrives and says she feels negative energy. She focuses on Ralph the dog, which is exactly what I would do. Heidi complains to Leeanne that Cary didn’t say hello right away, but um, she’s the hostess. Shouldn’t she be making the guest feel welcome? Especially one that doesn’t know her?

Apparently a Frito pie isn’t really a pie. It’s basically a pile of Fritos with chili on it. Tiffany thinks Cary is being a snob because it’s her defense mechanism. Heidi says Cary is going to do a demonstration with a corn dog. What?! She’s a disgusting old crone.

Heidi wonders why people aren’t mingling and Cary says she thinks there’s some tension. For a goth state fair party, this is pretty freakin’ dull. Leeanne says Heidi’s parties are like powwows, but it’s obviously not working. Ooh, Heidi is friends with Mark’s ex-wife. That explains a lot. Yep, I was just going to say I’d leave if I was her and she heard me.

Stephanie says she feels like she’s the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on. Leeanne just stares at Cary as she makes her exit. More Southerners who are not so charming tonight.

Next time, Travis has a birthday, Leeanne makes a speech, and Brandi and Leeanne talk.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian wonders why Alexis keeps the dagger in the china cupboard to begin with, and she says isn’t he glad she did, since it was within reach. He swears he didn’t touch it.

Sonny tells Carly what happened. She asks if the police think he had anything to do with Carrrlos getting stabbed, but he says he doesn’t think so.

Finn orders several space heaters for Roxie. Monica says Danny would love to meet her and Finn says he’ll arrange a play date. They talk about bringing Roxie to the hospital for the kids. Finn asks how Tracy is. Monica says you’d never know anything had happeend, but there’s controversy about Mr. Ellis’s death

Elizabeth talks to Jake while nuAmy eavesdrops. She tells him he’s not going to be seeing Franco anymore. When he asks why, Franco hears him and tells him to ask his father.

Jason remembers everything now, so I guess we can put that storyline to rest…somewhat.

Commercial break. Does Flonase really need to tell me that 6 > 1?

Carly says she knows Sonny didn’t kill Carrrlos, but still wonders where he was. Sonny tells her about going to Crimson with Alexis and how Michael ended up pulling Carrrlos out of the water. She’s like, thanks for calling and letting me know.

Julian tells Alexis he was exactly where he said he was. Alexis questions Nina being in a bathrobe at a meeting, and he fills her in on the Franco/Nina situation.

Finn says Mr. Ellis’s death was unexpected and he was stable when Finn left him. He says that all the tests that had been run were negative. Monica concurs, since she double-checked everything. She tells him Obrecht asked the peer review group to open up a case.

Elizabeth tells Jake that sometimes adults have to make decisions that kids don’t understand. She says that Jason doesn’t think Franco is the best person to treat him. NuAmy says that his mother must have agreed, since she’s the one who canceled all of the appointments. I applaud her audacity.

Jason tells Sam about the accident. He says he was trying to figure how to get Dante out from under the van, when Robin spoke to him.

Monica says Obrecht feels Mr. Ellis’s death was preventable.

NuAmy fills another nuNurse in on last year’s Nurses Ball. Amy is giving her all the gossip and Monica interrupts. She suggests Amy get back to work, and if she hears more trash talk, Amy will be backstage at the Ball.

Monica tells Finn it wouldn’t be an issue if the family had ordered an autopsy.

Elizabeth tells Jake that they’re enrolling him in an art class, but he says he wants to work with Franco. She tells him he needs to get to his appointment and he shakes her off, saying he’ll walk over by himself. Franco asks if Elizabeth is a doormat or does she really think he’s a danger to her son?

Jason explains that seeing Robin was probably his way of fighting his conditioning. He says the memories were intact, he just couldn’t reach them. Sam says she doesn’t understand, and he says neither does he, and tries to come up with theories.

Carly says next time Sonny feels the need to step out in the middle of the night, to please tell her first. She was worried and concerned that the police were going to be looking for him. Sonny says Julian is the one who would gain the most from Carrrlos’s death.

Julian says Alexis had to know the witness was a set-up. She says she didn’t get a chance to question him and how convenient that he died from an overdose after years of being clean. She says the look on Julian’s face was sheer panic when she said Carrrlos was still alive. Julian still tries to pretend that Carrrlos was his friend and Alexis says Carrrlos was a man who was going to put Julian away for the rest of his life. Julian says she saw him at Crimson. Alexis says that was later and he asks why he would have done it himself. Wouldn’t he have one of his lackeys kill Carrrlos? Alexis starts weeping and says it’s unthinkable he would use the dagger that killed her mother. He says check it; it’s clean, and she says because he cleaned it.

Alexis starts going nuts, looking for any proof. Success! She finds the towel he used to clean the dagger with. It only took her about two seconds, so Julian didn’t hide that very well. I gotta say, I wonder too, why he would use the dagger, since it has a unique blade. A carving knife would have been less traceable. It seems like a really stupid move for a guy who’s a mob boss.

Finn says Obrecht resents him in general. Monica says she especially didn’t like how he put Dr. Mays in his place. He says she seems to be holding him personally responsible for her being let go. She says he saved Tracy’s life, and Tracy had a big say in it.

Elizabeth says Franco crossed the line and was acting like his old self. She thought he’d changed, but she was wrong. He says he just lashed out because of the Nina situation, but he’s working his way out of the hole he’s in. He says even Obrecht has pushed him away. He says Elizabeth is pretty much the closest thing he has to a friend.

Jason tells Sam that as soon as he got Dante free, the memories flooded in, from the color of Sonny’s old office drapes to their first kiss. He says he’d been trying to convince himself the memories didn’t matter, but he was wrong.

Sonny says after the accident, Carrrlos would have certainly taken the deal. Carly says Julian was at Crimson. Sonny says even if Alexis was telling the truth, Julian might have done the dirty deed and then jetted to Crimson. Carly asks what he’s planning.

Alexis says the stain on Julian’s shirt wasn’t wine, it was blood, and he killed Carrrlos to save himself. Julian says she needs to trust that he did everything because he loved her and so their life together wouldn’t end. She asks him who he is. He says he’s still her husband and she pushes him away. She starts to call the police and Julian takes the phone. He says she needs to ask herself who she is. She chose to stay with him even though she knew he ordered the hit on Duke and that makes her complicit.

Franco says he’s not a danger to Jake and Elizabeth needs to stand up to Jason. Amy comes over and says Jake didn’t show up for the appointment.

Sam tells Jason so much for getting to know each other again. He says they have been apart for two years, but he knows how they started now. He trips down Sam Memory Lane. She says he has his life back, and he says that depends on her.

Sonny says he has to figure out a way to use Carrrlos’s death against Julian. Carly says he should let the police handle it, but Sonny says Julian has Alexis in his corner, which Carly finds ironic considering Alexis’s high horse attitude.

Julian tells Alexis she made her choice to accept him. She says he swore he was out of the mob. He says he changed his life for her, but she should have known his past would come back to haunt him. He says when push came to shove, he did what he had to. He says she chose to defend Carrrlos and protect the both of them and blah-blah-blah about how they love each other. He says the important thing is that it’s over and they can live their life together with their kids and grandson. He says otherwise, two men died for nothing. And what is with Julian’s hair? I vote no.

Franco says no one saw Jake leave the hospital and security is out front. Elizabeth says how do they know someone didn’t take him? The police come and Amy points out Elizabeth, who tells them Jake was supposed to be going to his appointment.

Sam says the worst thing was trying to convince Jason he was a good guy. He says maybe not so much, and she says they’ve both made their share of mistakes, and now they have a chance to find their way back together again. She says she loves him.

Finn startles Carly, who is looking at some reports at a table in the MetroCourt. She tells him that his space heaters came in. She asks him to look at a printout regarding her daughter’s kidney. He says it’s against the rules and she says since when did he care about that? Finn says never.

Julian makes up some nonsense about how they’re the only two people who matter. Alexis says he’s a killer. He says he did what he could to weather the storm, but they can fix this. She starts laughing and says how? He says what’s done is done. Carrrlos can’t be brought back, but they can survive this together.

Julian takes the bloody towel to the fireplace. Alexis says she’s not letting him throw the evidence away. He says it has to be done and this is for them. It doesn’t get much more spineless than Alexis here.

Elizabeth says it’s all her fault and she should have walked Jake to the office. She wonders where Franco went and Amy says maybe he’s out searching. Yeah, searching his apartment where Jake is eating some sugary cereal.

Sam tells Jason he should be checked out by a doctor. She wants to know that he’s okay with no concussion or complications. He says he hates hospitals but he’ll go.

Finn looks over the reports. He makes noises and Carly asks if he found something. He says maybe. He points out an administrator’s number and that they did overtime that day. He says the employee hasn’t worked at GH since the transplant and they probably know something.

Julian tells Jellyfish Alexis that this is about damage control and throws the towel in the fire. There’s a knock at the door and Alexis says it’s Sonny. She answers. Yep, it’s Sonny and he asks if Julian told her who killed Carrrlos. He says by the look on her face, she knows.

Tomorrow, Franco tells Elizabeth he has Jake, Lucy is back for the Nurses Ball (yay!), and Julian threatens Sonny.

Southern Charm

Shep and Craig meet for lunch. Shep asks what happened after the bourbon tasting. Craig tells him about JD saying he’s not ready to head a division and Naomie getting sad about it. Geez, it wasn’t like he lost his job. Shep says Craig should work on taking the bar, but in the meantime wants him to come on the Appalachian trip.

Craig asks if he’s inviting Kathryn. Shep tells him that several others won’t come if he does. Craig wonders why Whitney is so against her, and says they should be inclusive, and that Kathryn would probably be more chill if she felt warm and fuzzy. He says she probably won’t come because of her pregnancy anyway. Shep relents and calls her, but she’s on modified bed-rest and doesn’t think it would be a good idea to travel. Shep thanks the cosmos.

Thomas (bleh) visits Kathryn’s new house. She asks if Thomas is going on the trip with Shep and company. She tells him that Shep called her, but she can’t go. Thomas says he doesn’t want to go if she’s not going, but Kathryn encourages him. In his interview, he says he doesn’t want to rock the boat. He might be T-Rav, but she’s T-Rex. He tells her maybe he’ll go and just stay one night.

Cameran visits a therapist. She’s struggling with the baby thing. Her husband is ready for one and she’s not. She wants to figure out if she’s just not maternal or her decision is rooted in anxiety. She says her own mom is her role model and she can’t say enough good things about her, but she wasn’t the cookie-baking typical Southern woman type. The therapist asks if when she thinks of having a child, does she think of getting something or giving up something? Good question! Cameran says everyone tells her that her life will change and she doesn’t even like being a passenger in a car. The therapist seems to think that her parents’ divorce is a factor. Even though Cameran thinks she’s too old to be affected by it, the therapist says childhood events drive our lives. This woman seems to actually know what she’s talking about, unlike some therapists I’ve seen on the reality shows.

Craig talks to his mom about the house in the mountains and whatever is needed for the trip. He thinks the house is even going to impress Whitney.

Landon (ugh!) gets together with her sister, Bam, about whose name I could make a million jokes. She tells Bam about her online magazine idea. Landon is the oldest of three girls and says she’s trailing behind both of them. No big shock. We flash back to her visit with the NYC mogul and how it kind of bombed. Landon says how much she likes Craig’s girlfriend, Naomie, but I think it’s just so she can talk smack about Kathryn.

Craig comes by Kathryn’s place. He says for once in her life, she’s not the one causing the drama. They talk houses. Craig wonders about Whitney. He asks Kathryn if they used to be friends, and she says they were more than friends. She says it was more than just a physical thing and she spent a lot of time with him and his mother. We see a clip where she was keeping a lot of stuff at his house. Wow. Here’s to a secret very well kept.

We see a few more flashbacks where Whitney was very complimentary to Kathryn. Craig says Whitney makes it out to be like a one-night stand, when a one-night stand doesn’t keep clothes at your house. Kathryn tells him that she’d hooked up with Thomas prior to Whitney, but it went nowhere. Then she and Thomas met at a party and she left with him because she had liked him better. She says Whitney put her stuff on the curb after that. She says he’s one of those people you think has no feelings for anyone else, and Craig says this explains why they’re still dealing with this three years later. They show another scene that didn’t make sense in the first season, but does when it’s put together with what she’s saying now.

Shep has organized a party bus and Cameran is hoping it doesn’t have a stripper pole. Everyone meets at the bus and they head for Asheville (NC). Thomas and JD will be joining them separately. Thomas gets to the hotel first. Craig thinks they’re in Nashville, which Shep tells us is another four hours west.

The hotel is cute. The group checks in and meets in the lobby. Hanger-on Dani is there too. I’m not sure why, but she rubs me the wrong way. Thomas is glad for a night out where he can be himself. An immature a-hole? He tries to chat up some teenagers on the street and I get embarrassed even though I’m just watching it on TV.

They go to a beer garden where Whitney and Thomas make fun of the bluegrass music. There’s a large size Jenga game on the outside tables that they periodically play. Moving on. To the next bar, owned by a college buddy of Shep’s who gave him his first fake ID. Moving on again, but just next door. They have dinner and Shep makes a toast. Someone says things are going swimmingly, and Shep says that’s probably what they said before the Titanic went down.

Cameran thinks that Landon hearts Shep. Me too. Thomas says he’s just staying one night and acts like it’s because of Kathryn. Ha! He’s just getting old. I still don’t get why he has no friends in his own age group. Whitney says Kathryn is the curse of Moncks Corner he can’t escape. Craig thinks Whitney is irrational when it comes to Kathryn and that Thomas is actually being responsible. Moving on. Next bar.

This one is more a dance club. Thomas immediately starts chatting up a girl with tatts and piercings, saying, it’s awesome, man, or something like that. Bleh. Thomas. He acts stupid and puts the moves on girls who don’t want them. One dances away with Shep.

Thomas goes to Shep’s room in the morning. He says that he thought Kathryn was being irrational about Landon, but now he realizes Kathryn is right. Landon confessed that she didn’t really invite Kathryn to Shep’s birthday. Shep is a little miffed too. He says Landon has a catty side where she takes things too far.

Cameran and Whitney decide to rent a car. Shep wonders if he should be offended. Thomas leaves and it’s back to the bus with the others.

They go through where Shep grew up and he points out his grandparents’ house. They get to their destination and the house is amazing. It has a phenomenal view and Shep says it’s the happiest place of all. I can see why. JD and Elizabeth join them. Cameran says Shep never even mentioned this house, but he isn’t the type to brag about what his family has. Even though I wouldn’t want to date him, I like Shep.

JD wants to talk to Craig who does not want to talk about work. Craig says Naomie was sad about the bourbon thing, but JD says just because something doesn’t work out immediately doesn’t mean it won’t in the future and that he wants Craig to succeed. He also wants Craig to make Dani feel comfortable about taking the position Craig wanted.

Jennifer visits Kathryn, who is bored out of her mind. She can move around, but not leave the house. Kathryn tells Jennifer about the trip and that Thomas called, telling her how Landon admitted not inviting her to Shep’s birthday. She says Thomas has been surprisingly helpful with the move. She says their past is tumultuous and crazy, but he’s making an effort.

I cry because I will never, ever have a kitchen like the one in Shep’s mountain house. Shep confronts Landon about not inviting Kathryn to his party. He says in the future, tell him the truth. I’m not surprised someone has to tell her something this simple, but then I remember she can barely form a sentence.

Whitney argues with Craig over grilling the steak. The food looks incredible, steaks, corn on the cob and grilled vegetables. The topic of Kathryn comes up. Whitney says she’s a lying psychopath, and Craig says he’s just mad because she slept with his best friend after staying with him.

Next time, Whitney calls Kathryn a liar, poor Whitney is upset, Kathryn’s inducement date gets moved up, and Kathryn disappears. Lots of Kathryn.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Stephanie has a decorator coming in for son Chance’s room. She says that Travis’s mother is a decorator and he thinks that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, but that’s not the case. Travis wants to be all involved, which annoys Stephanie. She says once a plan is in place, Travis always wants to change it. She says the one gift she wishes he’d give her is to trust her judgment.

Brandi is still ticked off about how Bryan acted at the barbecue for her father, late and drunk. She says he’s not giving her or the family the attention they deserve and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. She tries calling him and gets voicemail.

Marie is apparently inching her way into Wives status. Brandi goes to Marie’s house. She’s been working with Marie’s daughter, Sofia, on cheerleading. She says it’s a real favor, since she taught cheerleading and dance to high schoolers and it wasn’t fun. Marie is also close to Leeanne, so Brandi is hoping to get some insight. Brandi says the lessons make her miss being a Cowboys cheerleader.

Rich asks Leeanne what’s bothering her about Marie. She says she wants to trust Marie, but Tiffany has told her that Marie has been texting her smack talk about Leeanne.

Brandi tells Marie that despite Leeanne being batsh*t crazy, she had fun at Marie’s party. Marie says Leeanne could benefit from therapy. She says Leeanne is going to have to apologize for her nutty behavior.

Cary and Mark go shopping. They’re updating their website photos and looking for new outfits. Cary says the website needs to draw in the upscale clients they want, so the pictures need a refresh. Mark gets excited over a few of the dresses and picks out some things for her.

Brandi goes to Stephanie’s house. Stephanie is putting everything back into her son’s newly decorated Cowboys-themed room. Brandi tells us the nasty habits her husband has, as though we need to like him any less. She says it’s funny how you don’t notice a lot of things during the honeymoon phase. They talk about the barbecue and Brandi says how hurt she was about Travis acting stupid. Stephanie thinks Brandi should talk to him and reconnect with a date night. Brandi says Bryan isn’t good with confrontation, so she’s afraid to deal.

Tiffany visits Leeanne. They’re going to Marie’s house “to seek answers.” As a true Housewife should, Tiffany has printed out the texts. Leeanne wants to know why the texts happened and if her reputation is in jeopardy. I dunno. Maybe Marie is ticked off about Leeanne’s idiotic behavior at her party.

Leeanne and Tiffany say a prayer before going into Marie’s. Marie asks how they’ve been since the party and Leeanne says it was a bad scene, daddio. (Okay, I added the daddio.) Tiffany says she doesn’t like engaging in the kind of texts Marie has been sending. She pulls the texts out, handing them to Leeanne, and Marie looks like a deer in headlights. Marie says she would never talk behind Leeanne’s back. Leeanne says if Marie has something to say about her, she hold say it to her face. Marie says she was seriously concerned about Marie’s welfare. Leeanne drags Brandi into it, saying the issue is between them. Marie says Leeanne made it everybody’s issue. Leeanne says she walked out of the party because she was going to get violent. Leeanne gets loud and says stupid stuff. Once again, in her interview, Leeanne says she doesn’t do hurt. Seriously, get therapy and stop acting out when you have the feels. You’re too old for this. She tells Marie she’s been putting negative bugs in Tiffany’s ear and asks what she’s told Brandi. Marie says they never discuss Leeanne, but we flash to Brandi saying Leeanne is nuts. The girls say blah-blah-blah about being open. Leeanne says Marie might have originated from a good place, but she’s forgotten what loyalty is. She’s glad Tiffany held her hand through this.

Cary and Mark are using friend Carrie’s apartment for the photo shoot. Carrie gives direction with Mark working the camera. They take a lot of great pictures with and without great clothes.

Brandi talks about how hard it is, raising the girls basically with no Bryan and no other help. She says when Bryan is gone, one of the girls (Brooklyn) is especially bratty. Brandi does the throwing the spaghetti on the wall thing to see if it’s done. I do that too, but not near an electrical outlet. She calls Bryan, who is about to board a flight, and suggests a date night next time he’s home.

Gayle and Oprah are the names Stephanie gave the oversize warrior garden statues that Travis won’t let her get rid of. Brandi has brought outfits for them. This reminds me of a guy not far from me who has a manatee statue next to his mailbox that he dresses up seasonally.

Mark and Cary look at the pictures. Cary is very critical of herself, but Mark says she’s perfect. She wants them photoshopped, but he’s not on board with that. I’m not sure what she has to be concerned about. They get all mushy. I like these two. They seem like the only normal ones.

Stephanie loves her son’s new room, but is nervous at the unvailing, since it’s not what Travis wanted. Chance is really too young to be impressed by something like this. Travis says they did a great job and compliments Stephanie.

Brandi and Bryan are getting ready for date night. He’s exhausted from traveling, but she feels they need to get in some time together. They leave the kids with a sitter and go out to eat. They order martinis. Bryan looks tired. Brandi thinks he’s checked out as far as feelings go. They toast to a good summer.

Brandi says she’d like more time with him, but expects him to be a mind reader about it. It’s painful watching her try to get her thoughts out, with him looking like he’s not even there. She says with all his traveling, sometimes she feels like she doesn’t get the attention she needs from him. He’s like, seriously?

Bryan feels like she gets all the attention. She says she wants them to have more family activities with the girls. Again, she’s not expressing herself well. She says she feels unloved and unappreciated. She asks if she did something wrong and he says yes. She asks what. Bryan doesn’t answer and she says she doesn’t understand him. He just sits there like a cold lump and she starts to tear up, saying somehow it’s always her fault. He says he didn’t see that one coming What? He says he’s had enough and leaves her sitting there.

Next time, a charity event at the House of Blues, gossip about Cary, and Brandi’s brother attempts suicide.