Tag Archives: Summer House

Jan17

January 16, 2017 – Josslyn Gets The Talk, Candace Turns Oscar Down, Dorit is Late & Some Fluff

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Josslyn says Carly sounds serious; it must be major. Carly says it is.

Kim tells Oscar that they have to talk.

Michael shows up at the gallery, saying Nelle didn’t need to have the lab results sent to his office. She wanted to make sure he knew they were real, and he says he thought she might want to be there when they were opened. Nelle tells him she already knows what it says, but wouldn’t mind seeing the look on his face when he sees he’s the baby’s father.

At the hospital, Griff asks Ava how it went. She says she has the all clear. In a few hours, her scars, and all the ugliness they represent, will be a bad memory.

Jake visits Drew at the office. He needs to ask a question. It’s Father/Son Day at school next week, and Jake needs him to be there.

Jason and Sonny look at PK Sinclair’s last email. You referred to the sequel. Clearly you haven’t read the ending. Jason says it ends with the son killing the father. Sonny says PK wants to kill Faison.

Carly tells Josslyn that seeing her in the cocktail dress scared her. She looked beautiful and grown up. It’s fun to try on being adult, but she’s fourteen and just discovering who she is. The next few years are pivotal, and Carly doesn’t want her to slingshot to the end. When she tells Josslyn she wants her to slow down, it’s because she wants her to experience all of it. She wants Josslyn to get to know herself and who she is, so she can make big decisions from a place of self-control and responsibility, not because she’s being pressured. Josslyn asks if this is “the talk.”

Oscar can’t believe Kim is doing this in public, but she says she didn’t bring her megaphone. She thinks he needs a refresher course, and asks why is he pretending that what’s happening, isn’t? He asks what she’s talking about, and she asks why Josslyn has condoms. He says it has nothing to do with either of them. Josslyn is holding them for a friend (yeah, I used that one too). Trina is afraid her mom will find them. Kim says they shouldn’t do it, and he says they’re not doing it. She tells him, good, because fourteen is too young.

Nelle tells Michael she would say congratulations, but isn’t sure it’s something he wants to celebrate. He’s glad he knows truth, and she asks if he thought it would say something else. He says, no. His gut told him that it was his baby. Nelle says, so it’s just for his parents. She says Carly is going to hate it, but Michael says all that matters is the baby. Whatever they can do to raise a healthy, happy child, sign him up. She asks what he’s doing next Monday.

Ava tells Kiki that she can’t thank her enough; she doesn’t deserve it. Kiki wants her to feel whole, but tells her to be careful. She doesn’t want Ava to think because her face is fixed, everything else is fine. She needs to figure out what’s going on inside. Ava says she might be pleasantly surprised. Once this horrific chapter is behind her, the rest will fall into place.

Drew tells Jake it must be important. Jake says they eat doughnuts with their dads, show them around the classroom, and do a cool science project together. Drew says if Jake wants him there, he’s there. Elizabeth comes in, and Jake asks if he’s in trouble. Elizabeth says it depends on why he’s there, and Jake says he wanted to tell Drew about Father/Son Day. Elizabeth says she would have brought him, but Jake says he thought maybe she would want him to take the other guy.

Jason tells Sonny there was a backer who Andre never saw. Faison is their best guess, and they have reason to believe the traitor is his son. Jason wants Faison, and wants to know why he did the switch. Sonny says they’re going to figure it out, and use his son to do it

Josslyn says this is coming out of nowhere, and Carly says that’s how she felt when the condoms fell out of Josslyn’s backpack, and no, she wasn’t snooping. Josslyn says she was holding them for a friend, and Carly says that’s the oldest excuse in the book. Josslyn tells her that Trina is seeing a junior, and was afraid her mom would find them. Carly says, thank God; she’s too young. Trina is too young too, but Trina isn’t her daughter. She’s not doing it, is she? Josslyn says no, and Carly asks if they’ve talked about it. Josslyn says, not once. Carly thinks the universe is trying to tell her something, and asks Josslyn to have a seat.

Kim tells Oscar when she heard about the condoms, she was actually happy that at least what she’d told him had sunk in. Oscar says they haven’t even talked about it. Kim tells him if and when they decide, it’s really important that they’re both on the same page, they both feel the same, and want the same things. As much as people say it’s not a big deal, it is. Oscar keeps rubbing his arm, and Kim asks what’s up with that? He tells her that Drew was teaching him some boxing moves and strategies, and it was really cool. Kim says she’s glad they talked, grabs her stuff, and jets, leaving both Oscar and I puzzled.

Nelle tells Michael that maybe he wants to come to her next prenatal visit. She’s having a sonogram, and he can see the baby. She says it’s really cool to listen to its heartbeat; it sounds like a horse galloping. She tells him that Kim thinks it’s important to have the father involved for bonding, but he doesn’t have to be. Michael says he wants to be, and plans to be as involved as he can. The paternity test isn’t the only reason he came to the gallery though. He thinks Ava has an ulterior motive, and that she’s setting Nelle up.

Griff asks if Ava is nervous, but she says she’s energized. She has to run by the gallery to check on an important client. She calls him a guardian angel, and says he saved her.

Jake tells Elizabeth it’s not that doesn’t like Jason; he doesn’t know him. Elizabeth understands, and asks if he feels pressured about having a relationship with Jason. He says no, but she talks about him a lot, and he thought she’d want him to take Jason to the Father/Son Day. She says no one expects that of him; not until he’s ready. He asks, what if he’s never ready, and she says it would be a shame. Jason is a great dad, and he’s lucky to have two amazing fathers. Jake says Jason is a stranger. Elizabeth agrees, but says he didn’t go away because wanted to. He was taken, like Helena took Jake; taken away from everyone he loved and what belonged to him. The cool part is that he didn’t try to grab everything back even though he could have. He respects everyone’s feelings, and loves Jake and Danny. She’s not saying how he should feel, but thinks it’s important that he knows Jason only wants what’s best for him. He’s Jake’s biological father, and she hopes one day when he’s ready, Jake gets to know him.

Sonny tells Jason when he finds Faison, he’s not going to question him; he’s going to kill him. Jason wants answers. Sonny thinks he knows. Obrecht said Faison was looking for an enforcer. It was impossible to have Jason, so he turned him into Drew. Jason wonders if it could be that simple. Sonny says that Jason eliminates quickly and cleanly, and does whatever Sonny asks him to. Who wouldn’t want that? Jason has to hear it from Faison. Sonny says he might be able to, once they smoke him out. Jason asks what Sonny has in mind?

Carly asks Josslyn if other kids are talking about it, and she says, some. Carly asks if they’re doing it or just talking, and Josslyn says, both. Carly suggests she take what she hears with a grain of salt. Kids think sex will make them grow up, and they pretend to do it or actually do before they’re ready. She asks if Trina’s boyfriend is pressuring her. Josslyn doesn’t think so. Trina seems to be into it, and says it’s no big deal. Carly says it is a big deal. It’s intimate and personal, and there’s only once chance for the first time, so it should be memorable. She and Oscar aren’t ready. Josslyn says she seems to be forgetting they’re not having sex. Carly wishes she had waited, and could look back and smile, but she can’t. Her first time was with an older man who didn’t really care about her. Josslyn asks why she did it, and Carly says she wanted to be a woman and make own choices. At the time, it was the biggest choice she could make, but it didn’t make her feel older or cooler, it just complicated things. She wants Josslyn to have a different experience, when she’s older and emotionally ready. She wants Josslyn to be with someone she trusts and feels safe with, in a loving environment, so it can be something she’ll look back on and smile.

Michael tells Nelle that Ava is a liar at best, and a murderer at worst. Nelle says she was the only one who would give her job, and she’s been nothing but kind. Michael says she wants something. He doesn’t know what, but when people get close to her, they get hurt. Nelle thanks him for the warning, but when it comes to Ava, her eyes are wide open. Funny. That’s what Michael told Carly about Nelle.

Griff tells Ava she’ll have confidence of who she is at her core. She dances into her surgery appointment.

Drew loves Jake, and loves being his dad, but Jake owes it to himself to get to know his biological father. Jake asks if it won’t upset Drew, but Drew says Jason is just another person to love him, and that’s a good thing. Jake asks if he’ll still see Drew, and Drew says Jake will get sick of him. Jake says never. Drew says Jake’s mom is right. He knows Jason does the right thing, and that makes him a good guy, but he’s missing out because he has no Jake in his life.

Jason writes an email to PK Sinclair: I can help you get the ending you want. He says, now we wait. Michael calls Jason asking him to meet at Kelly’s. Sonny says he’s going to call Spinelli and have him link the email accounts. Jason leaves, and Sonny says, PK Sinclair, come out, come out, wherever you are.

Carly wonders why Josslyn was telling Oscar that something was going to blow his mind. Josslyn realizes she thought they were talking about sex, and tells her she was clearly wrong. There are new attire guidelines for the dance, and one prohibits kids not dressing according to their gender. There’s one kid who identifies as female, and is being forced to wear a guy’s clothing. Carly thinks it’s awful, and Josslyn says it’s kind of her fault. Her friend has been bullied, so they complained, but instead of punishing the bullies, they’re punishing her with stupid rules. Carly says, good for her, sticking up for her friend, but Josslyn says she’s not done. They decide to throw an alternative dance – come as you are, wear and be want you want. They planned it the same night as the school dance, hoping for a boycott, but it could be grounds for suspension. It’s not ideal, but she’s committed to seeing it through. Carly says she should. Caring for people and doing what feels right is important, and Carly is proud of her.

Griff runs into Kiki, who wonders how is it she never sleeps, but can’t manage to talk to Dillon. He hopes he didn’t make her feel uncomfortable, and Kiki says no. Her mom is way off base. He asks how things are with her and Ava. She says it’s not the first time Ava has hurt her, and it won’t be the last.

Kim bursts into Drew’s office, saying she didn’t raise her son to be soldier. He’s teaching him boxing. What next? Target practice or ROTC? She tells him not to turn Oscar into something he’s not. Drew says, fair enough, but he’s no longer in the Navy. This is what he does now. He doesn’t remember being a SEAL, and is pretty sure he was never a recruiter. He’s not trying to get her son to do anything. Kim apologizes, and says he did nothing wrong.

Michael tells Jason about the paternity results. He’s a father. He’s never been so terrified and excited at the same time. Jason says welcome to parenthood. Michael says he got involved with an unstable woman, and now they’re having a baby. He’s taking responsibility, but what if the baby isn’t okay? Jason says it will be; it will have him.

Sonny tells Carly it’s early for wine, but she says not after the conversation she just had with Josslyn. He asks if she wants to talk about it, and she says not really. Sonny tells her she’s taught Josslyn by example to be strong, confident, and demand respect; sometimes too confident. Carly wonders if they’ll survive the teenage or will it kill her? Sonny says not if he can help it.

Josslyn joins Oscar back at Kelly’s. He asks what was up with her mom, and she says, awkward mom stuff. He knows.

Kim tells Drew she’s been having this conversation for fifteen years, and Drew says, now he suddenly shows up. She says her son was never aggressive, now he’s boxing. Drew explains that Oscar asked him. Apparently, a friend is getting bullied, and he wanted to defend them if necessary. Kim wonders if Oscar was really talking about himself, but Drew says he believes it. Kim says Oscar is a terrible liar, so he’s probably telling the truth. She apologizes for overreacting, saying she barged in and practically accused him of pumping Oscar full of steroids, when Oscar came to him. Drew says it shows he’s a good kid; she’s raising him well.

Ava goes to gallery. Nelle thought she’d be prepping for surgery, and Ava says she’s on her way. She asks about a painting, and Nelle gives her the receipt. Ava says maybe she’s catching on, but asks if that’s the only thing making her smile. She says that, and Michael was there. it went really well, and she might be on her way to being friends with him again. If she plays her cards right, maybe more than that eventually.

Jason tells Michael that he was the first baby he remembers holding. He had no idea, and knew nothing about kids. Michael says he got on the job training, and Jason says Michael taught him how to be father. Michael taught him how to open his heart up to another human being, and he learned to love someone else more than himself. Michael says there’s so much at stake. What if he messes up? Jason says he won’t. He has great instincts. No matter who the mom is, the baby has a right to everything good, and he knows Michael will do that. Michael says his life is going to majorly change, and Jason says, in the best way. There are one and a million amazing things he’ll see; the first times – a smile, words, the first everything, and he’ll be there. Michael says it’s a gift, but terrifying. Jason says he’s happy for him, and happier for the baby. The baby could do worse for a father. Michael says he’s got this. They hug.

Kiki says Ava is lucky to have Griff, but he says he’s the lucky one. The road might be longer and rougher, but he believes today will be a turning point.

Ava tells Nelle it means zip with that family. They forget nothing, and don’t forgive. The Corinthos family has closed their ranks forever to her. Nelle asks what she should do, and Ava tells her to cut her losses, and move on to a new Prince Charming. Anything else is an exercise in futility. Nelle says she’s probably right. The hormones are making her sentimental. Ava tells her to hold down the fort.

Kim tells Drew it will take time; it’s been just them for so long. Drew promises he won’t overstep or try to be an insta-dad if Oscar comes to him. Kim thanks him.

Jason tells Michael to practice deep breathing; he’ll learn as he goes. Michael asks, what about Nelle, and Jason says that’s not his problem. Michael and Jason part company.

Nelle tells the baby not to listen to Ava. Daddy is the only Prince Charming she wants.

Elizabeth takes Jake to Kelly’s. He sees Jason through the window. Jake hesitantly waves. Jason waves back.

Sonny gets a message from PK Sinclair saying they should meet. Jason comes back, and he says Sinclair took the bait; he wants to meet. Is Jason ready? He’s ready.

Tomorrow, Ava is ready to be a new woman, Scotty toasts to Ava, and Ava sees Morgan.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Veronica starts screaming that she smells gas. Melissa tells her to keep screaming. She wanted to take the scenic route, and no one can hear her. She didn’t care that Melissa’s father died, and now it’s her turn. Jeffrey is going to dance on her grave. Veronica keeps calling for help, but Melissa refuses to do anything. She’s going to sit there and wait for Veronica to die. She’s never smelled fried bitch before.

Benny and Mitch drive by and see Melissa sitting near the overturned car. They tell her to get away; the car might blow, but she hopes it does. They realize someone else is in the car. Mitch asks if Melissa is crazy, and she says after dealing with Veronica, it’s a possibility. Mitch runs to get a fire extinguisher. Veronica is going nuts, and Benny tells her to relax so he can help. Benny pulls her from the car.

At the hotel desk, Jim tells Broderick that his room key doesn’t work. Broderick says that’s because it’s not his credit card. Jim says if Broderick doesn’t get him in his room now, there won’t be a need for hotel policy; he’ll burn this bitch to the ground. He says he knows about Broderick and his wife scheming against him. Broderick gives him a new key.

Jim watches the news in his room. The DA says they’re close to making an arrest. The reporter wonders if it’s going to be a Cryer. Jim watches, and says, I know you. Oscar calls, and tells him to open the door. He asks what Oscar has. It’s good news and bad news. His son’s accounts are offshore, but they’re in luck, because he’s a bit of an addict. He went looking for drugs, and a thug got his ATM card, but they were arrested. Oscar thinks they should have recovery in a week. He asks where Jim wants the money to go, and Jim says he’ll text the information. He wants to get in touch with Sarah Duffy at the DA’s office, but no one can know.

Benny tells Melissa to be careful what she says. She says Benny should have let her die; she’s a wicked bitch. Benny thinks Melissa should go to the hospital, but she doesn’t want to. The EMT says it’s policy, although I’m not so sure about that. Veronica begs Benny to go with her to the hospital. Mitch tells him to go ahead, and Benny gets in the ambulance.

A guy does paperwork in Wyatt’s apartment. Wyatt walks in, and he introduces himself as Isaac. He says Anna called to be reassigned, and he was sent over. She’s been compromised because of the two of them sleeping together. Wyatt wants to talk to her, but Isaac says it’s not possible. Wyatt tells him to get out. Isaac knows Wyatt is upset. Anna is a recovering addict, and felt weak with him. Wyatt asks why she didn’t tell him, and Isaac says in the past, that’s how these situations have been handled. Wyatt tells Isaac he’s fired, and hustles him out. Wyatt calls Anna, and leaves a message. He can’t believe she walked out on him like that.

Oscar calls Wyatt, saying he’s with the Savannah police department, and they have someone who tried to use his ATM card. Wyatt says she tried to rob him. Oscar asks her name, and Wyatt tells him it’s Quita. Oscar asks if he wants them to file a report with the bank, but Wyatt says no, and hangs up on him. Oscar calls him an arrogant ass.

In a hotel stockroom, Broderick talks to Rocky, about Jim, saying he’s going to get Jim’s wife. Rocky says revenge is a good way to ruin the plan they have going. Broderick says they need to start making other plans. Rocky thinks they should get more girls, but Broderick isn’t down with that plan anymore. He needs bigger money than that. Rocky doesn’t think Kathryn will be interested, but Broderick says anyone married to a prick like that isn’t happy. He can at least fool her long enough for her to think she is. He tells Rocky that she’s worth $250 million, and Rocky is like, damn, that’s a lot of money. Broderick says he just has to make her feel special and get out. Rocky says everything is about appearance, and no way she’d be seen with him in public on her own. He doesn’t want their plan jeopardized. Broderick says that’s not going to happen.

Hanna sings Amazing Grace as she cleans. The bell rings. It’s a man Kathryn sent to fix the leak. He says he built the place, and introduces himself as Derek. He asks how long it’s been leaking, and Hanna says she just moved in, but she’s just staying until she finds a place. She says she can’t afford it there, and asks if he knows of a place that’s a third of the price. He does, but it’s on the other side of town. She’s fine with that, and he says he’ll leave his card.

The morgue calls. Hanna says she’ll come down and get them. She asks the Lord to help her. Derek has to shut the water off, and asks if she’s okay. She says her grandson was murdered. The morgue found something in his pocket, and she has to go get it. He asks if there’s anything he can do, and she says fix the sink.

Kathryn’s phone rings. It’s Hanna, who tells her about the morgue calling. Kathryn asks if Hanna wants her to go along, but Hanna just wants to know if it’s okay to leave Derek there. Kathryn says he’s completely trustworthy, and to call her when she gets back.

David puts a bed together. Erica says he works fast, and he says she shops fast. He’s hoping she likes the bed, but she thinks it’s a little masculine. He asks her to help him with his feminine side. His phone rings, but he doesn’t recognize the number, so he doesn’t answer.

Candace asks to pay for another night at the hotel, but it’s been paid for a month. She says she must have forgotten, and Broderick tells her it was paid for in cash. She goes to the bar, and Oscar sits next to her. He tells her that he paid the bill, and she asks why. He says he still has the mark, but she says she’s not interested. He asks what’s wrong with her, and why she’s so angry. She says she wouldn’t be if he hadn’t stolen her money. Oscar tells her she’s not getting it back, but he’s trying to help her, and Charles still asks about her. She tells him to leave her alone, and he says he’ll cancel her stay. She’s like, okay, and he wonders what her plan is. Candace says it’s to get him the hell away from her.

Oscar’s phone rings, and he asks about Quita being arrested. Candace asks what he knows about her. He says she robbed someone, and he wants information to do a recovery deal. She asks if it’s Jim, and Oscar says it’s his son; Jim’s trying to get back his inheritance. Candace says it should be easy; he’s an idiot, and Quita is a bigger idiot. She suggests she help him, but he says he’s got this already. He asks if she has any idea what First Ladies make after leaving office. The mark is primed ready to go, and she’d rather bully old men. He asks what happened? She had a fire in her when they met, but now she’s like a regular old whore, waiting for the next john. He says Jeffrey is sitting in jail for a murder she’s responsible for. Candace is surprised to hear that, and Oscar says if he was her, he’d think about securing his future in case Jeffrey decides to talk. He tells her she’s running out of time, and she tells him to get away from her. She calls Veronica, and leaves a message to call her back.

The morgue guy gives Hanna a plastic bag of Quincy Jr’s things. She takes out a piece of paper. It’s a letter that starts with, God, please help… Hanna clutches it to her chest, and says she’s sorry.

Justin gets Jeffrey out of his cell. Again? All the prisoners hoot and holler as they walk past. Justin takes Jeffrey to the interrogation room, and tells him to have a seat. Justin sits on the table and asks if he’s okay. He hates that Jeffrey is in there. He found David’s cell number, but he’s not answering. Jeffrey gives him the password to unlock his phone, and says try calling from there. Justin says he’ll be okay. Jeffrey asks to go back to his cell, but Justin says it’s shift change; they have time. He sits on Jeffrey’s lap and Jeffrey says someone could walk in. Justin says it’s more fun that way, and Jeffrey asks if Justin’s wife thinks it’s fun. He asks if Justin has talked to her. Justin says he doesn’t care; he just cares about Jeffrey. Jeffrey says she could make it worse for him being a judge. Justin says he knows Jeffrey loves him. Jeffrey says he barely knows him, and asks him to stop and just find his dad. Justin says if Jeffrey doesn’t love him, it will mean he did all this for nothing. He tells Jeffrey to say it, and Jeffrey says, I love you; now find his dad. Justin starts kissing him.

Landon asks Charles what’s going on? Charles can’t get his tablet to work. He doesn’t know what he’d do without Landon, and Landon says ditto. Charles says it’s just a job for him, but Landon says he’s wrong. He loves his job, but it’s also his pleasure to work for Charles. He admires and respects him. He hasn’t met anyone like him; he’s real, decent, and honest. He has true compassion for people. He tells Charles that his top-secret clearance is causing his apps not to work, but he’ll take care of it. He says Charles has a late start tomorrow, and asks if he wants to go for a drink. Charles says okay, but as his friend, not his employer.

David pours drinks for himself and Erica. His phone rings and he ignores it. Hers rings, and she decides to do the same. He asks what if it’s her ex, and she says she blocked the number. She looks at the phone, and says it’s her sister. She calls back, and it’s Candace. David wanders away, and Candace says she wants to get this bastard, or Erica’s ass will be dead. Erica says she’s sorry, and asks how she can make it up. Candace says a few hundred grand. Erica asks how much time, and Candace says when she calls back, Erica had better have it. Erica tells David that her sister was just checking up on her.

Veronica is wheeled into the hospital on a gurney, with Benny holding her hand. Hanna is coming toward them, and she and Benny lock eyes.

Next time, Jeffrey won’t talk to the DA, Justin is going to bash someone’s head in, and Melissa harasses Veronica in the hospital.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit needs an uber caffeine boost for her swimwear meeting. She was on the cusp of going to the next level, when she met PK, and postponed her career to start a family. She wouldn’t trade it for anything, but is ready to get back to work. She thinks it’s going to be a killer collection. Nava means beautiful in Hebrew, and is Phoenix’s middle name, so that’s what she’s calling the line. She wants to launch for resort 2017. I’m not sure when this was filmed, but her assistants tell her she’s cutting it short. She thinks the line should reflect her, and it’s agreed that red is having a moment.

Teddi, who is a nice balance for this show, is meeting Dorit for drinks at four. She’s punctual, and believes it’s polite. We’re totally on the same page there. I hate, hate, hate when someone keeps me waiting. It’s disrespectful. She has a glass of wine, and has been waiting for a half hour. In her interview, she says if she wanted to have some wine alone, she would have done it in the comfort of her home. After forty minutes, and a bunch of unanswered texts, she’s calling it a day. As soon as she asks for the check, Dorit tells us she was laser focused on her teleconference meeting. In her interview, Teddi says she’s not an electronical wizard but is pretty sure Dorit could have sent a text while she was on the phone. She tells Dorit, another time, and Dorit babbles that she didn’t realize. Dorit is about fifteen minutes away, but Teddi is like, later. Dorit is all, sorry, sorry, sorry. In her interview, Teddi says thanks for the apology, but it’s a different kind of person who doesn’t even realize they’re that late to meet someone.

Kyle says she doesn’t have swans or horses, but still feels like she has a zoo with all her dogs. Ha-ha! Yes, she does. The little one just peed on the wall. Rich people – they’re just like us. LisaR video chats from Canada. Kyle asks when she’s coming back. She’s filling in for Kelly on Kelly and whoever-it-is-now in the morning. In her interview, LisaR says she was very close to being Regis’s co-host, and does a decent impression of him.

Lisa goes to Vanderpump Dogs and plays with a puppy. She says it’s been a labor of love, and we look at different clips of their progress. She says they were throwing in with another organization, but decided it was too sketchy. She loves having the rescue center, even though it’s riddled with emotional turmoil. Every time they get a dog that was going to be euthanized a good home, it’s worth it. The staff shows her a stray dog they brought in from the street, and she says it looks like Ken. They show their pictures side by side, and by God, she’s right.

Kyle meets Erika for lunch, and orders beet juice. She asks about Tokyo, and Erika had a great time. LisaR’s daughters are doing well on the modeling front, cut her no slack, and it was hilarious. Kyle tells Erica that she has two shows in development. In her interview, Kyle says every time she has an idea, she thinks her sisters will be upset, but she has exceptional stories to tell. Erica tells her about Tom breaking his ankle in a car accident. In her interview, she says he’s a 78-year-old who’s 50. It sounds like the car didn’t make it though.

Erika confers with her assistant. They talk about jet lag, how you think you’re cool, and then you’re not, and I identify. Erika tells him about Tom’s accident, and says it could have been worse. In her interview, she says she realized that one day she’ll be alone, and things can change in a moment. It’s the first time she’s seen Tom not super human. He’s in a lot of pain, and he doesn’t like to acknowledge it. She saw a flash of fear, and she’d never seen that before. It’s scary.

Kyle visits Teddi’s gym. Teddi says for the first five minutes, Kyle might hate her. Instructor Adam teaches them on a climbing machine. Teddi says Kyle did better than she did the first time. Afterward, they go to a porridge bar, which I’ve never heard of, but sounds intriguing. Kyle gets a juice, and Teddi gets a salad. Where’s the porridge? Kyle tells Teddi that Dorit claimed she was twenty minutes late meeting Teddi, and she was annoyed. Teddi says she was waiting almost an hour. She gets it if someone is busy, but she hired a nanny for the kids and is there waiting, and Dorit couldn’t even text saying she was going to be late.

LisaR checks into the NYC hotel. Wow. A fruit plate, champagne, and all kinds of stuff. She immediately wipes down everything with alcohol wipes, then calls Harry. She tells him she’s been getting texts that are saying he’s mean, and he says he’s being firm. He’s determined to get the girls in shape. In her interview, LisaR says he’d say she was the more lenient parent. They talk about Amelia doing her own laundry. Amelia FaceTimes with her, and doesn’t understand why she’s being subject to such menial tasks. In her interview, LisaR says she wants to prepare them to be on their own. She knows it sounds like stuff everybody should do, but everybody doesn’t.

Dorit meets Kyle at a Mexican place for lunch, and manages to be on time. Dorit talks about being tardy only six minutes, and says it’s an unfair recollection of the truth. In her interview, she says they were supposed to meet at four thirty. Teddi’s leaving was abrupt, and she doesn’t understand why it happened. Kyle says she’d never wait an hour for anyone. I WANT HER EARRINGS. They’re rose gold tassels, and HUGE. Kyle talks about selling her show ideas. She starts to cry, telling Dorit how her mom was all about the girls sticking together, and a victory for one, was a victory for them all. She doesn’t feel like she can call them about it though. She doesn’t know the reaction she’d get, and her parents are gone, so she kept it to herself. She says she and her sisters used to talk every day, but it changed after she produced American Woman. She says the shows are inspired by her life, and not theirs. She tells us Mauricio worked for her brother-in-law for years, and when he struck out on his own, it changed the family dynamic.

LisaR tells the hair guy to make it look not frizzy. She talks about teasing Regis that she’d the next co-host. Kelly was perfect, but she was close, and loves coming back. She says the first time she co-hosted was seventeen years ago. If she had gotten the job, their lives would be different. When Harry said how happy he was in Beverly Hills, she knew it was right because, family first. I loved the show that she co-hosted with Ty Treadway, Soap Talk. Alas, it was on the Soap channel, that also is no more.

Hanky! Panky! Dorit visits LVP at Villa Rosa. But not long enough.

Kyle meet Camille and Teddi for lunch. They’re waiting for LisaR coming in from New York. Kyle asks if Teddi has talked to Dorit.

LVP and Dorit go out for lunch. LVP asks about Dorit having another baby, but she’s swaying toward not doing it. She has two toddlers, plus PK, and is starting the swimwear line. She’d be crazy to throw another baby in the mix. Dorit tells LVP about how upset Kyle was, not being able to share her success with her sisters. LVP is surprised that she was that open with someone she doesn’t know well. Dorit says she feels that they’ve bonded and have a connection. In her interview, LVP is surprised that Kyle was so overcome with emotion, and was showing it to Dorit. Dorit says she’s put off by Teddi right now.

Teddi isn’t irritated about Dorit being late anymore, but it bothers her that she changed it to twenty minutes.

Dorit shows LVP Teddi’s text at 4:36.

Teddi shows the girls the text where Dorit thought they were supposed to meet between 4:30 and 5:30. She wonders who gives between an hour to meet at a restaurant?

Dorit says she couldn’t have apologized more, but Teddi couldn’t wait any longer, even though she was ten minutes away. Another five minutes shaved off.

Teddi says she thought she could just get over it, but then Kyle said Dorit claimed she was only twenty minutes late.

Dorit says Teddi Claims she was kept waiting fifty-four minutes. She’s exaggerating times, and making her out to be an idiot and a bad guy.

Kyle says Dorit told her that she was six minutes late. In her interview, Camille says Dorit is a little bit self-absorbed, and a bottomless pit of BS. Teddi says she understands if you can’t make it, but don’t lie about it.

Dorit says she has strict time restraints that others might not understand. I choke on my coffee. LVP gets how important that can be, and says a friend gives you slack. LVP changes the subject to Dorit calling Camille a stupid c-word.

Camille says she was bringing David around for the first time, and she was nervous enough. She was embarrassed. She thinks Dorit talks and drinks too much, and might be desperate for attention. In her interview, Kyle thinks saying someone drinks too much is a big deal. I don’t. Dorit was talking too much because she was drinking too much. Kyle brings up LVP using the word, but Dorit isn’t British. It’s true. They don’t think as much of that word as we do.

Dorit says she doesn’t have an issue with Camille, but was just being stupid. LVP suggests Dorit look at it from Camille’s POV. She has a new boyfriend, and introduced him to the group for the first time. A light bulb comes on over Dorit’s head, as she realizes she might have been rude.

Camille says Dorit hurt her feelings. She was inappropriate, and it really is a nasty word.

LVP says Dorit can mess with her, but some people don’t have the same sense of humor. Maybe she needs to apologize. Dorit wonders why she always puts her foot in her mouth.

Camille says she’s getting Dorit a ball gag as a gift. In her interview, Kyle says Dorit’s mouth is like a tennis ball machine. LisaR arrives. She tells them how much fun she had, then blurts out that she knows “this little thing.” A “little lawsuit thing” with LVP. Allegedly something happened with Ken and a woman who was running a charity. Perhaps the sketchy organization LVP referred to? Allegedly, Ken assaulted her somehow. Kyle says assault implies physical violence, and he’d never do that. Ever. She tells LisaR that’s hard to believe, and gives her the evilest eye ever. I don’t buy it either. And little lawsuit thing? That’s just distasteful.

Next time, LVP attacks Kyle with a dog hair dryer, Harry talks to LisaR about the boys being after the girls, LVP addresses LisaR, and Kyle and Teddi have it out.

🏄  Summer House is returning – Monday, January 22, at 10 pm. I’m not sure why. I kinda, sorta, half-assed watched its first season, but once crossover Stassi (Vanderpump Rules) was gone, so was my interest. It’s like a mini Real World, but with older “kids.” Definite train wreck watching.

🍲 For those who like their cooking competitions with a Spanish flair, MasterChef Latino airs on Telemundo Sunday nights. Although I’ve enjoyed watching The Beastmaster in Spanish, I didn’t actually watch this show, but noticed it skimming around the digital guide, and thought it worthy of a mention.

To celebrate the middle of the week, employees at Gortney Industries built an actual hump.

Wednesday4

 

Mar14

March 13, 2017 – The Fun Never Ends in Port Charles, the Wedding Weekend Begins, Summer House Ends & Some Housewives Talk

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sonny visits Morgan’s grave. He has good news. Morgan’s killer is being brought to justice, and his family is holding up. He says they’re not sure they can prove who the killer is, and he and Carly split up. Sounds more like good news/bad news to me. He tells Morgan he did something very stupid, so don’t blame his mother. He managed to hurt her again. As he’s talking, Carly comes with flowers.

Ava’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J. She asks for Julian. She tells him that she decided she couldn’t take the chance meeting at Ava’s. She’s found a way to protect herself with someone who’s more valuable to him. He asks who’s more valuable than Ava, and Olivia says his precious ex-wife, Alexis.

Dante tells Jordan what Jason and Curtis are doing. She says what if the bomb detonates, and Dante says hopefully, the bomb squad will disarm it.

At this point, Finn is sitting on the floor looking all sweaty. He tells Hayden it doesn’t seem like there’s a fire, and wonders if it’s something worse. Hayden asks what could be worse than a fire? He says that he doesn’t want to find out. She tells him he looks awful, and he says it figures.

Sam yells at the police about wanting to find Jason, and Epiphany tells her to knock it off. She gives the baby to Epiphany, and goes back to arguing with the officer. Franco tells the police to quit hassling Sam, and she tells him there’s a bomb in the building. They hear an announcement saying that Jason and Curtis are inside with the bomb squad.

Jason tells Curtis to leave, but Curtis wants to wait for the experts. The bomb squad shows up, and asks how they’re doing. Curtis tells them that they’ll be doing better once the bomb is disarmed. They have just over three and a half minutes left.

Sonny tells Carly that he thought if he talked to Morgan he could figure things out. Carly says she’ll come back, but Sonny asks her to stay. He says that he should have been talking to her and asking her to forgive him. She says she doesn’t give a damn about Nelle. Her son is dead. Sonny says our son, but she says it doesn’t feel like it. She says the worst part was going through it all by herself, and having the pit in her stomach with nothing to fill it and no one to understand. Sonny tells her that he understands. Carly says when she realized that, the relief was overwhelming, but now it’s like she’s back to the beginning. He says it doesn’t have to be that way, and she says it does. He says that sleeping with Nelle was the biggest mistake, and he doesn’t even know how it happened. Carly says she’s forgiven him for worse, but he let her keep Nelle close. He says he tried to get rid of her. But he didn’t, Carly tells him, and he should have told her the truth. Sonny says he didn’t want to add to her pain, and Carly says he let Nelle take advantage of their family at its lowest point. He says he’s sorry, and she says she is too. She wants to spend time alone with Morgan.

Julian asks Olivia-J what she’s done to Alexis, and Olivia says he’ll find out when he meets her. She tells him come to the footbridge. Ava asks what’s going on, but Julian tells her that the less she knows, the better.

Hayden asks if Finn can wait this out. He tells her he’s going to be in full-blown withdrawal soon, and she should have left while she had the chance, before he starts throwing up.

Franco tells Sam that Jason wouldn’t want her anywhere near a bomb. She says that Franco should be in there, not Jason. Since Elizabeth is still in the hospital too, Sam asks Franco how it feels to be on the other side.

Jordan sees Elizabeth, and asks why she’s still there. Elizabeth tells her that she was helping to get patients out. Dante says that since Jason is Jake’s father, she should know what’s happening. He tells her about Jason being in the elevator with the bomb.

Curtis asks the bomb squad guy what wires need to be cut. The guy explains that the bomb has dual triggers, and both have to be disarmed simultaneously. Curtis refuses to leave, saying he can cut the wires himself. This is actually more practical than noble. The bomb squad guys have so much equipment on, by the time they trade places with Curtis, they’ll all be blown to smithereens. The guy gives Curtis the wire cutters. He tells Curtis that the same color wire will disarm both triggers. Curtis decides to go for the red one.

Carly tells Morgan that it’s typical of her and his dad to bring their issues to him. She says she couldn’t protect him in life, but she can try now. Her phone rings. It’s Ava, surprising the hell out of her. Ava says she’s desperate for a visit with Avery and can’t get Sonny on the phone. Carly says she’s at Morgan’s grave. Ava says she didn’t know. Carly says now you do, and hangs up. Carly tells Morgan she loves him, and leaves.

Alexis comes to on the footbridge, where she’s handcuffed to the railing. Olivia-J says sorry about the chloroform, and some sponsor she tuned out to be. Alexis asks why she’s doing this, and Olivia tells her that she doesn’t expect Alexis to understand. She’s learned there’s no line between love and hate. Olivia says she already has – my husband, who is home today, walks by and says something, and I have no idea what Olivia has now. Thanks, Ron.

Hayden wipes Finn’s forehead with a cool cloth. He says if he has to be stuck with anyone, he’s glad it’s her, but she doesn’t deserve this; she’s healthy and strong. Hayden says she’s where she wants to be. Her place is with him.

Sam tells Franco this is torture. They’re outside while the ones they love are inside. She says Elizabeth won’t die, because Jason is risking his life to save everyone. She says thank God he survived the ancient history of Franco trying to kill him.

Curtis realizes the red wires aren’t the way to go, and asks how Jason feels about blue. Jason likes blue. One…two…three…commercial.

An explosion sound is heard inside the hospital. Sam begs an officer for Jason’s status. He radios, but no one answers. Jason walks out. Sam runs to him. Guess blue worked.

Finn tells Hayden he’s still alive. He wonders if he heard a loud boom. Hayden says he’s not delirious, but nothing is raining down on them, so they must be okay. He asks what she’s going to do when she gets out. She tells him she’s going to help him kick his addiction. He asks why she’s wasting her time with him. She says he never ran, so she isn’t either. He says if something bad happens, she doesn’t have to keep her promise. She tells him that nothing bad will happen. A voice on the loudspeaker says the evacuation is officially over an everyone get back to work

Jason asks about Emily, and Sam says they need to get her and go home. Jason tells Sam that she’s going back to bed in the hospital. She makes him promise to come with her.

Jordan follows-up on Olivia-J. Curtis comes in. Jordan says he didn’t have to do what he did. He says he’s practically an expert. She mentions some case and says it doesn’t count, but he says he’s two for two. He wants her to admit she’s glad he’s alive. He reminds her that she was also knocked unconscious, and needs to see a doctor.

Franco sees Elizabeth and kisses her.

There’s a knock on Ava’s door. It’s Carly, who starts to bang on the door like a lunatic. Ava tells Carly she’s no longer a suspect, and there’s proof someone else planted the bomb.

Julian sees Alexis on the footbridge. Olivia puts a gun in his back and says right on time.

Elizabeth and Franco find Finn and Hayden. Elizabeth asks if Finn is sick, and Hayden says he’s going through withdrawal.

Sonny comes by Sam’s room. He says he heard Jason saved the day, but Jason says Curtis did most of the work. Sonny checks out Emily, saying she’ll give Avery a run for her money. Sam says she knows he’s thinking about Morgan, and she’s sorry. He says nothing to be sorry about; the baby is a blessing.

Carly says everyone kept telling her that Ava couldn’t be guilty, but Julian was talking to his sister on the recording. Ava says he was talking to his sister, but not to her. He was talking to the sister who supposedly died in 1990, but didn’t. She shows Carly an article about Olivia-J on her tablet, and says Carly can apologize now. Carly looks at Olivia’s picture and says she killed my son.

Julian tells Olivia-J to let Alexis go; she has nothing to do with it. Olivia says she has everything to do with it. She wants him to feel the same pain she did when he murdered Duke, and she lost the love of her life. The difference is, she isn’t going to kill Alexis, Julian is.

Elizabeth says she’ll help Finn, but she can’t let him go back to work in his condition. Hayden asks if she’s going to report him, but Elizabeth says his secret is safe as long as he takes a leave of absence.

Jordan tells Curtis that she feels fine, and there’s a madwoman running loose. He says as soon as she gets checked out, she can go back to work. He tells her that it’s good she has someone looking out for her.

Out in the hallway, Jason explains to Sonny about Olivia-J. He says it was only a matter of time before she made a mistake. He tells Sonny to go home to Carly, but Sonny says she wants nothing to do with him. Jason asks if she knows about Nelle. Sam pops out, saying that Emily is done eating. She asks if Sonny is all right. He says the woman who killed his son is still out there

Carly asks if Ava believes Olivia-J is alive. Ava says considering she saw her, she doesn’t have much choice. Carly asks why she didn’t call police, and Ava tells her that Olivia had her tied up and threatened the safety of someone she cares about. Carly says she thought that Ava cared about Morgan. Carly tells Ava that she doesn’t want the police finding Olivia; she wants to find her first, and make her pay in ways she couldn’t imagine. Ava says she guesses prison won’t suffice, and Carly asks if it would had it been Kiki? Ava says no, but keep in mind that it wasn’t Olivia’s intention. Morgan shouldn’t have been in the car. Carly says you don’t get to plant a bomb and say oops, didn’t mean it, when there’s collateral damage. There’s nothing she could say or do to get Carly to forgive her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that he’s going to shoot Alexis. He laughs, saying that she’s missing the mark. He says Alexis and he are done; they have no love for each other. Olivia says that any fool can see he’s madly in love with her. She’s learned that pain and love are two sides of the same coin, and he’s learning that lesson. If he doesn’t do it, she will. She gives him the gun. He tells Alexis that he’s sorry, and shoots.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam to cherish every moment with the baby. He leaves, and Sam says she feels awful for him. Jason agrees, and asks how she is. She says fine right now, and snuggles against him.

Finn signs a request for a leave of absence, and thanks Elizabeth for her discretion. She says just make it count. Franco brings in a wheelchair to take Elizabeth back to work. Finn wants to take Hayden up on her offer of help, but feels that it’s something he needs to do on his own.

Dante confirms to Jordan that she needs to be checked out. Curtis is glad for another voice of reason.

The chain on the handcuffs is broken. Julian tells Alexis to run.

Epiphany comes to get Jordan. Jordan tells Curtis that he doesn’t have to wait, but he says he does.

Carly picks up an empty martini glass, and asks Ava if it was Olivia-J’s. Ava says Julian always said that Olivia was a lunatic, and he wasn’t kidding. She tells Carly that she doesn’t want to repeat the experience of meeting her, and Carly says she won’t have to, and smashes the glass against the wall.

Sonny calls in favors. He wants the bitch who killed his son.

Julian and Olivia-J struggle over the gun. Alexis starts to run and a shot goes off. Olivia looks into the water. Well, either Julian is in the water or Olivia is going to keel over into it.

Tomorrow, Carly talks to Morgan some more, Sonny asks Curtis for help, and Jake refuses to talk about what happened on the island with Helena.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom plays a trumpet while dog Charlotte gives him the side eye. Jax stops by, and asks about bringing Tom’s triplet brothers in for the wedding. He’s concerned about the expense because they’ve waited until the last minute. The triplets still live at home in Yuli, Florida. I mention the town because Tom says it’s some place no one has heard of, but I just sent an eBay order there not that long ago. Tom calls and asks if the brothers can make it if he and Jax spring for the tickets. Tom wants it to be a surprise, and Jax seconds that. Jax says the triplets love their brother, but aren’t the most responsible guys on the planet. I’d say so, since they’re still living at home and they’re not children. Or even college students.

The bridesmaids go for a fitting. Nice dresses! Katie shows up, and is impressed with how the girls look. She says everyone is going to look fantastic, especially her. Well, let’s hope so.

Schwartz has the responsibility of going to Dylan’s Candy Bar and getting candy for the wedding favors. Jax loads up on candy corn, and Tom says he’d rather let Jax bang his girlfriend than eat candy corn. I don’t know about that, but I personally find candy corn stomach-turning. Jax calls it a favorite Halloween treat. I didn’t even like it when I was a kid. It was one of those dud candies. Chocolate or die.

Stassi talks about some upcoming dates, but she doesn’t want to bring anyone to the wedding. She wants to hang out with her friends and stalk the eligible bachelors. They discuss Katie working on her anger issues.

Schwartz says he fell apart in NOLA and was a mess. Now, moving forward, he’s left lingering resentments behind. I’d actually be more concerned about Katie’s lingering resentments.

At SUR, Katie tells Jax and Scheana about her date night with Schwartz. Scheana says better to fix the problems now than after they have kids. She’s thinking about next summer for her, but Jax thinks that’s too soon. They talk about Stassi dating again. Scheana tells them that Shay is working on something special for her in the studio, but Jax wonders if it’s just avoidance.

Lisa finds two horses outside of the restaurant. She says there’s always an aura of magic and surprise in West Hollywood, and always expect the unexpected. She gets on one of the horses and rides into the restaurant. Not really, she rode about half a block, but that would have been cool.

In the restaurant, Lisa tells Jax he needs to be more heavy-handed in pouring Sangria. She tells him the glass is barely wet and in her interview, says he pours for her like he’s her date on prom night. He tells Lisa about Scheana wanting kids soon, and thinks Shay is avoiding her. He says he’s always thought she could do better, but Lisa says it’s not her business unless Scheana makes it her business. Thank you. And I wouldn’t blame Shay for avoiding this crowd if he wants to stay sober. I’m sure they have other friends, right? Right?

Stassi is doing a photo shoot to get her mojo back. If some of the photos are hot and not too risqué, she’s going to use them for her dating app. Seeing Tom dressed as a woman has encouraged her to up her game. She talks to Katie about the wedding, and says it’s getting real now. She realized how much she cared about their friendship when they were apart, and says it feels good to be friends again. The photographer has Stassi put on a barely there body suit. Stassi says there’s something liberating about letting it all hang out.

Brittany scares Jax by telling him that she discussed Schwartz’s with Kristen. She tells him to calm down, and reminds him that he’s the one with the biggest mouth in town. He claims Kristen is worse, but, no.

Raquel’s mother and sister come to visit. James says that dating her is a world of difference from dating Kristen, and I’m not repeating the analogy he gives. James tells them that he’s not working at SUR or PUMP anymore. He says he kept getting into “situations.” We flash back to him getting drunk and behaving like a rabid animal, and Lisa telling him that he’s turning into an a-hole before her eyes. He says he has a gig at a new restaurant, and he hasn’t been drinking. He promises that he loves Raquel, and the family thing means a lot to him. In his interview, he talks about his parents’ divorce, gets all teary, and says he sees a future with Raquel. Her mother proposes a toast, and everyone loves everyone.

Katie and Schwartz are getting ready to leave for the wedding. Stassi comes over to help them. They’re bringing a cake and a piñata. Stassi says the piñata is probably filled with condoms, gummi bears, Ninja Turtle action figures, and maybe some weed. Ha-ha! I love Stassi’s sense of humor. Schwartz says they like taking road trips, and he likes Katie doing the driving. Stassi takes a going away picture.

Lala shows up at SUR while Ariana is on her break. In her interview, Ariana says she hasn’t seen Lala since the birthday debacle, and it sounds like she’s not too interested. Lala has some things to say in person. She’s serious about how sorry she is. She tells Ariana that she’s embarrassed about her actions in not showing up for Ariana’s birthday. Ariana has been a good friend, and she’s sorry how she handled things. She tells Ariana that sometimes when she can’t manage her life, she goes into shut-down mode. In her interview, Ariana says she wants to give Lala another chance, but she’s not going to pretend nothing happened. Lala asks if Lisa is there, and asks Ariana to pray and/or give good vibes. She goes inside.

Lisa asks Lala what the hell happened. Lala explains about shutting down, and how when that happens, it’s f-u to everyone, and she does what she wants to do. Lisa says owning it doesn’t absolve her from taking responsibility. She had Lala’s back, and Lala let everyone down. Lala says she feels embarrassed and awful. Lisa says she left them hanging, but they survived without her. She doesn’t think Lala was honest with her life, and Lala says she doesn’t think anyone there is worthy of hearing about her life. Not too entitled sounding. Lisa is like fine, keep your life private then, but when you lie, don’t expect people not to call you on it. Lala gets weepy and says she’s different from other people, and her anxiety prevents her from doing a lot of things. Lisa tells her to grow from it. In her interview, Lisa says Lala’s entire strategy is being young and pretty, which isn’t going to last forever. She tells Lala to keep in touch.

Tom tells Katie he’s excited, but he misses his brothers.

Kristen and Carter are packing. Kristen explains the logistics. She asks if he knows about Schwartz’s brothers, and tells him about the surprise. She whispers like Schwartz is in the next room.

Oooh! A bear! Katie says it’s the first bear she’s seen, and Schwartz says there are bears all over West Hollywood. HAHA! (Google it.) They get to the cabin, and the venue people help them with the cake. The co-owner goes over expenses. An extra 10K for the flower additions. I faint. Aside from my bouquet, and bud vases for the tables, my flower budget was zippity-doo-da. I couldn’t justify buying flowers for an hour’s service, and the caterer/planner decided on the centerpieces. $51,058 is the grand total. I pick myself back up off of the floor again, and I can’t even repeat what Schwartz says in his interview. That’s a lot of money for a wedding in the woods. Katie thinks they should drink, write the check, and chill. I’d have to down a lot of booze to write a check in that amount for anything except real estate. I’d have to be drunk to begin with to spend that much on a wedding.

Kristen and Carter arrive. Schwartz says he could be clear of student loan debt, but instead he’s writing a check for flowers and a buffet. Student loans for what? Schwartz has a degree? What is he doing with his life? Stassi is next, bearing the piñata. Her friend Rachael is with her. They had some travel problems, and she says they ended up having to navigate by the stars. Katie tells her about the bear. She can’t believe everything the group has been through, and says being there together is a testament about how much they care about each other. She feels lucky to have a “framly.”

Tom missed his flight because he forgot his suit, but I don’t know if that’s just a story to cover for picking up the brothers. Schwartz talks about his dad not coming because of a flying fear, his sister having to work, and that his brothers not coming because of finances. I’m thinking if the wedding cost that much, what was another $1500 to get them there (which is what it ended up costing for three tickets at the last minute).

Jax says Schwartz’s brothers share a cell phone, so communication hasn’t been the greatest. He’s not going to relax until they’ve arrived.

Scheana is looking forward to spending time with Shay. She shows Shay a pantsuit she’s considering for the rehearsal dinner. He tells her that when he does laundry, he doesn’t even know what half the things are that she wears.

Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken arrive with the dogs, Pandora, and her husband. The desk clerk tells them about the great hiking nearby, and Lisa says the last time she did a hike, it was to Neiman Marcus. Their room is bi-level and beautiful. Lisa can’t believe this is actually happening. Ken wonders If Schwartz is going to back out. We flash back to a few times when he’s quit what he started. Giggy!

Everyone manages to get to the venue in one piece, minus Tom. Schwartz tells Jax that his and Brittany’s room is where the saloon used to be. Ariana says Tom made it to the gate just as it closed, and she could see his nose pressed against the window glass as the plane took off. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was my mental picture. Jax tells Brittany he has to call Tom, since Schwartz’s brothers missed the flight

Next time, the gang goes tubing, the piñata happens, lots of booze is consumed, the brothers arrive, and the wedding begins.

🏖 Summer is finally over on Summer House. The most boring show ever. Weekend at Bernie’s is a better illustration of the Hamptons. It was tough for me to keep the names straight. Everyone looked alike, and I swear all the girls were named Lindsay. There was a Kyle and a Carl for God’s sake. Kyle was one of the few I could decipher, probably because the show started with him striking out with Stassi, who was spending a weekend there. In the finale, he made a commitment to his girlfriend, Amanda, whom he invited out for the final weekend. Most likely after discovering that no one else would have him. Sadly, the Pegasus pool float didn’t make it, and Carl had to stage a burial. He said that Pegasus deflated was the perfect metaphor for the summer, and I tend to agree. There was no indication of a reunion. Hope this group enjoyed the fifteen minutes they got off of Stassi’s coattails.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra staged a weird friendship intervention that she called a “restoration meeting.” This made it sound like there was something spiritual about it, but it was more like a grievance airing. Cynthia could barely keep her eyes open, and to no one’s surprise, Porsha couldn’t understand why it was bad to make up criminally prosecutable lies about Kandi when she felt hurt. While for a moment, it was disquieting to think that Phaedra could be the voice of reason, as Kandi so aptly put it, the meeting was an epic fail. The saddest thing was Sheree having a come-to-Jesus moment about her ex, Bob Whitfield, who still doesn’t understand what he did wrong.

🗽 The Real Housewives of New York: How They Got Here airs on Wednesday, March 15, at 9 pm. As with Southern Charm, it’s a retrospective. I guess this is a thing now, and who can blame Bravo? Why not milk the franchises for all they’re worth? I’d hate to be that guy – and you know there was one – who thought Bravo was a complete waste of time and effort and would never turn a profit. Hopefully, he didn’t sell his stock.

 

Mar7

March 6, 2017 – Nora Buchanan Comes to Port Charles, SUR’s Annual Photo Shoot & Scary Summer House

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Diane goes the bar and orders a double espresso because she needs extra caffeine for the case coming up. She gets chatty with the woman next to her. She talks about her opposing counsel, Nora Buchanan. Which is who she’s sitting next to, although she doesn’t know it yet. I guess she never watched One Life to Live.

Nina deals with the ringing phones in the office. Valentin comes in, and hangs up the phone. Nina is still annoyed with him about Anna.

Anna is packing up. Dante sees her checking her weapon. He asks if she’s leaving, and she says that’s a good observation. He asks if her doctor knows. She thanks him for caring, but says she’s not going to just wait there while Olivia-J is alive and on the loose.

Franco gives Elizabeth a ride to work, and they flirt in the garage. He points out that Ava and Julian have a sister crazier than they are. He says crazy doesn’t discriminate, and he wants her to be safe.

Dante talks to Anna about Olivia-J’s obsession with Duke. He says there’s a good chance Olivia is out to get her, and she says she’s counting on that.

Olivia-J has Robin prisoner. She tells her that they have a lot of work to do, and need to get cracking. She is a lot of fun. I guess that’s why they made her kooky/aggressive instead of just aggressive. It gives leeway to bring her back again.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Olivia-J does give her the creeps. He asks about Sam. Elizabeth says she’s doing well, considering. Franco suggests she not to talk about it if Jake can hear. He explains about his conversation with Jake, and how Jake said Sam had a bad curse on her.

Olivia-J tells Robin that it’s a blast from the past, and congratulates Robin on her success. She takes the tape off of Robin’s mouth. Robin says everyone thought she was dead, but Olivia says she’s back and better than ever, and that circumstances dictated her return. Robin asks if it has anything to do with her family. Olivia says it has to do with the murder of her one true love, Duke.

Anna leaves a message for Robin. She complains to Dante about Robin being over-protective, and Dante says that Robin was just concerned for Anna’s health. Anna says she’s not an invalid. She tells him that they have to get Olivia-J out of hiding, and she’s the perfect bait. Griff is in the doorway, and says he hopes she’s talking about her dating life.

Valentin tells Nina that he wasn’t with Anna, and gives Nina a picture that Charlotte drew for her, saying that Charlotte was asking for her. She wants to see Nina in the morning, and so does he. Nina says she loves being Charlotte’s stepmother, but doesn’t love him keeping secrets.

Nora says it sounds like Diane has a fight on her hands. Diane goes on about covering all the bases, and realizes that she’s doing all the talking. Nora says she knows who Diane is, an attorney by day and novelist by night, and asks when the new book is coming out. Diane is flattered that she has a reader, and says lately her duties as an attorney have been taking up all of her time. It’s nice to see Nora again. I got to meet her on the OLTL set, and she was lovely and gracious. Actually, all of the people there were, both cast and crew. Bo winked at me. Ah, memories!

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake has some unresolved issues about being on the island with Helena, which he pronounces He-leen-a. Elizabeth says that Jake seems fine, and thinks he just needs to be a kid for a while. She asks Franco to pick her up later.

Diane says normally she doesn’t take custody cases, and Nora asks why this one. Diane tells her that she’s on retainer for a particular man with a particular reputation, and he wanted his daughter-in-law to have the best representation possible. Nora asks how she wins a custody case, and Diane talks about discrediting the other parent without looking like a shark, and that the focus should be on the best interest of the child and trying to compromise.

Laura and Lulu walk in. Diane is about to introduce them, and says she didn’t catch Nora’s name.

Nina asks Valentin why Anna broke in, and why it doesn’t make him angry. He says he doesn’t know how he would have reacted if Anna hadn’t collapsed, but she did, and he doesn’t want to make her life more miserable. He says Anna is the past, and Nina and Charlotte are the future. He asks if they’ll be able to present a united front at the custody hearing.

Griff says he’s not signing off on Anna’s paperwork, and Finn isn’t either. Dante tells her not to do anything stupid because he’ll be in court. They wish him luck.

Robin asks if Olivia-J wants revenge on Julian ordering the hit on Duke. Olivia says that by the time she was able to reunite with Duke, Julian had taken him away again. She’s come back to right Julian’s wrong; she has to restore balance at General Hospital. Robin asks what that means. She says obviously she has to bring Duke back. Obviously.

Nina tells Valentin that she didn’t realize how different they are. His spy training was good, because he’s impossible to read, while she wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s angry and confused, and Valentin says she should think about what she wants, meanwhile he’ll be in court fighting for it.

Valentin comes into the bar and introduces his attorney, Nora, to everyone.

Elizabeth comes back to the garage, and Franco admits he’s the new garage attendant. He says it was available, and she has three boys to take care of. She says he’s charming, talented, and thoughtful. They lean against a car to kiss, and hear something in the trunk.

Olivia-J says she would think that someone with Robin’s skills, knowledge, and education would be more aware. She’s studied every culture and philosophy, and seen miracles happen. She’s expanded her consciousness. She tells Robin that death is a transitory state, and sometimes we need to give life a happy end. Robin is like, are you resurrecting Duke in the hospital basement? Olivia says don’t be stupid; they’re in a boiler room, but they need GH. She opens a secret door, saying this is it; this is the lab where Helena breathed new life into Stavros.

Anna says she’s following all the rules, and Griff says Finn told him that she’s just following the rules she likes. After mumbling about patient/doctor confidentiality, she tells Griff that a higher priority has emerged – Robin.

Olivia-J looks around the lab, bringing Robin along. Robin thought it had been destroyed. Olivia says she found out it wasn’t, and asks Robin if she’s familiar with the machines. Robin says she is, and they look damaged, but she’s a doctor, not an engineer. Olivia asks how Helena resurrected her son. Robin says Stavros wasn’t exactly dead. The machines just kept him alive while he was healing. She says the machines aren’t going to work on Duke; he’s not coming back.

The car alarm goes off and Elizabeth calls for help. She pops the trunk open, and Franco says it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Elizabeth sees Julian in the trunk.

Nina looks out the window, not getting any work done. She flashes back to Valentin telling her he loves her, and how she was afraid of saying it back. She thinks about Valentin telling her that Anna is the one stuck in the past, and Nina is hung up on what the other men in her life have done to her.

Diane tells Nora that her reputation does her justice, and she’ll be a formidable opponent. Nora says she’s right about compromise being the name of the game – unless her client refuses to compromise. Diane says this is the first time they’ve met, but she learned something. Nora says her too, and leaves with Valentin. Diane tells Lulu and Dante that Valentin has a good lawyer, but theirs is better.

Anna says she thinks Olivia-J wants to exact revenge on Julian, and that she was madly in love with Duke. She tells Griff about how she was pregnant with Duke’s baby, and Olivia rigged the elevator to crash and she has a miscarriage. Griff asks if that was the intention. Anna doesn’t know, but it served Olivia’s purpose. She has to find Olivia before she targets Robin. Hurting Robin is the surest way to hurt her. Elizabeth runs in, saying she’s there about Julian.

Olivia-J asks if Robin is all science and no faith. Robin says she wishes they could bring Duke back too, but it’s not how the machines work. Helena had Stavros’s body, but Duke was cremated. Olivia takes something out of her bra, saying she’s been carrying it for years. I could make a lot of jokes here, but moving on. It’s a lock of Duke’s hair, and she says the DNA should be enough. Robin says it’s not. Olivia says she can’t give up on Duke, and Robin says she understands. She lost her first love too, but can’t bring him back, the same way she can’t bring back Duke. All they can do is live their lives in their loved one’s honor, and Duke would want Olivia to be happy. Olivia says it’s not possible without him. Robin says she’s moved on, and Olivia can too. Robin reaches toward Olivia, and Olivia drops the vial. It shatters, and she tells Robin, look what you made me do.

Olivia-J says Robin destroyed the last pieces she had of Duke. Robin says that’s not true; he left a piece of himself in each of their hearts. Olivia says that’s not good enough. She says Robin did have one good idea though. Maybe he left another piece of himself.

Anna asks how Julian is. Griff says it’s not that severe, and he’ll recover. Anna is having the car checked out. She wonders why Olivia-J would leave Julian alive. Perhaps there’s another reason she came to town, other than getting even with him. She says good thing Olivia doesn’t know about Griff.

Diane apologizes for her lapse in judgement, saying it won’t affect the case. Lulu says Valentin murdered her brother, but Diane reminds her that there’s no proof. It helps their case that he’s had an unsettled undocumented life, but Nora will present him in the best light possible.

Nora tells Valentin that Diane is good. When she found out who Nora was, she barely blinked. She makes a nice living making sure Sonny stays out of prison and gets what he wants. Valentin says that’s why he hired Nora. She tells him to be careful how he presents himself. She asks about Nina, and he says he doesn’t know if she’ll be joining them. At all.

Nina calls Charlotte. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t tuck her in, but she had a grown-up work thing. She promises she’ll make it up to her. She asks what Charlotte wants her to do, and if Charlotte would like to sing with her. She sings as she looks at a photo of the three of them, and starts to choke up. Oh come on, we know you’re going to help. Get to the hearing already.

Lulu says Maxie texted her, saying Valentin and Nina are on the rocks. How she knows this, I’m not sure. Lulu says that if the marriage is unraveling, they’re not providing Charlotte with a stable home, and Diane says they can spin this. Lulu says they have to act fast while the problems are hot.

Nora tells Valentin to apologize, whatever it takes, get Nina there. He says it’s not going to happen. She says he’s a man with a questionable past, while Lulu has stacks of affidavits to support her as a parent. If he doesn’t present to the court that he’s the preferable parent, he’ll have to share custody or lose it entirely.

Lulu tells Dante that they should take advantage of the situation. Dante says they could push Nina away from Valentin or back into his arms.

Nina looks at her calendar, seeing the entry for the hearing. Laura comes in. Nina says it’s not a good time. Laura says she’ll want to make time; she has a proposition.

Griff asks Anna to be careful. She promises she will. Anna says if he sees Robin, tell her to stop dawdling, but she’s not leaving Julian until the police get there. Griff leaves, and Anna calls Julian a cat with nine lives. He asks where he is, and she tells him he’s in the hospital, and that he was found tied up in the trunk of a car. She asks if Olivia-J did this.

Olivia gets in the elevator with Griff.

Anna asks Julian where Olivia is, and why she put him in the trunk. He says she’s here and never left.

Griff remembers Olivia from the garage. She’s flattered that he recognizes her, and says she could never forget him. He reminds her of her one true love, his father, Duke.

Tomorrow, Laura tells Nina that they can both have what they want, Anna asks Julian where Olivia-J is, and Olivia-J kidnaps Griff.

Vanderpump Rules

Everyone manages to get back from Vegas without getting arrested. Jax shows Lisa their drag pictures. She tells Tom that he looks better as a woman. She asks if Schwartz and Katie had a good time, but Jax says they didn’t sleep in the same bed for the first two nights and fought 80% of the time. Lisa decides to talk to Katie.

Scheana and Ariana talk about the fighting. Ariana doesn’t think it’s a good solution to bottle up the problems until after the wedding. She wonders how you retrain yourself not to fight like that.

Harrison! The SUR photo shoot is coming u,p and we flash back to the previous ones. This year’s theme is indulgence. Lisa asks Katie about the fighting during the party weekend, but she passes the blame to Schwartz. Lisa says if they keep going in that direction, they could lose each other. In her interview, Lisa says this is more than pre-wedding jitters, and if they can’t get along on vacation, how are they going to get it together IRL?

Stassi and Kristen go to lunch. Kristen brings her dog Gibson along. He’s a certified service dog; she got him a card for $79. She says she won’t stab James in the heart while Gibson is with her, so whatever works. Stassi fills out a dating app profile on her phone. She tells us that desperate times call for desperate measures, and she does not want to date any more bartenders.

Katie and Schwartz visit Lisa. Schwartz doesn’t trust the swans. I probably wouldn’t either. Lisa asks what they still have to do. Katie says they still have some catering stuff to deal with, and one more thing. A guy dressed like a butler comes to the door. He proclaims Lisa the fairest in the land, and tells her that Katie and Schwartz request that she officiate at their nuptials. She tells them that she’s totally overwhelmed and didn’t expect it, and Schwartz says they wanted something special. Lisa tells them she takes marriage seriously, and the way they’ve been behaving gives her cause for concern. We flash back to Katie telling Lisa about various fights with Schwartz. Lisa says it has to be a new chapter in their lives, and she wants to make sure they’re taking responsibility. Schwartz says everything they’ve been through has overshadowed the relationship. Katie starts to cry.

In her interview, Katie says they have big problems, and they have to face them. She tells Lisa that she wants to be with Schwartz. She says they let themselves forget who they were, and she and wants to get back to that. Lisa wants to know they’re really committed to each other before she agrees.

The kids go to the beach for some sun, and drinking in a different atmosphere. Stassi says she had a date and made out all night long. She’s not looking for anyone to put a ring on it though – unless the ring is really big. Schwartz tells them about asking Lisa to officiate, and how they ended up having a sit-down and it got heavy. She wants to make sure they love each other before she says yes, and Schwartz agrees it’s been a disaster lately. Tom says the friends have overstepped boundaries, but it was out of concern. Dolphins! (I’m like a person with ADD when I see animals.) In his interview, Tom says that only Lisa has the balls to say what everyone is thinking.

Schwartz suggests that he and Katie not be a-holes anymore. Good luck with that, especially hanging around this crowd. He says they’re supposed to be unflappable, but they’ve been majorly flappable. He almost picks up something on the beach, but Katie tells him not to touch it; it’s a tampon. Ugh! This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, since I live near a beach. Anything plastic really.

Lisa goes to the stables to visit Prince Tardon, her new horse. Ariana comes along to go riding with her. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t know if she could have a bigger lady crush on anyone. Me too. She tells Lisa that she talked to Schwartz, and Katie feels guilty. In her interview, Lisa is glad they’re taking her seriously, but they have a lot of work to do. She asks Ariana if she’s ever getting married, but Ariana is not too keen on babies. Lisa says talk to her in five years.

Stassi visits Kristen. She says she’s a recovering serial monogamist, and it’s the first time she’s dated in seven years. She’s going on a blind date tonight, and says he has the best Instagram she’s ever seen – no gym selfies. Kristen wants her to bring condoms, but Stassi says she’s not doing anything on a first date. Kristen thinks she needs to break down the wall she’s put up. I dunno. It looks like she’s doing just fine to me. These days, it probably isn’t a good idea to not have sex right off the bat. To be honest, it probably wasn’t in my day either, but we had fewer STD and STV concerns.

Tom is treating the guys to a spray tan session at Jax’s house. What happened to lunch at a restaurant? On top of it, he calls it a “sesh,” which makes me cringe. Schwartz announces that he and Katie had sex last night. Tom says mission accomplished. Schwartz asks who can get ordained quickly in case Lisa says no. In his interview, he says having Jax do it would be like Lucifer baptizing you.

Stassi meets blind date David. She says it’s like interviewing someone to evaluate if you eventually want to have sex with them. Kinda. They start with some wine and nice to meet yous. It sounds like he does something with computers, and when he tells her that he gets up at 7 am, she nearly has a coronary. Stassi is convinced that she’s pretty because she sleeps late. She talks about feeling pressured with her last relationship, but says maybe she felt that way because he was the wrong person. In her interview, she says that David is the kind of guy she should want to date, but she’s not feeling it. I have to say it, he does seem boring, and I understand why. Sorry, David.

Schwartz brings home some props for the photo shoot. There’s a pig with an apple in his mouth (I assume papier-mâché), a bunch of grapes, and other food items. Schwartz puts a towel over the pig’s head, saying the eyes are following him. Katie goes over the wedding budget. In his interview, Schwartz says Lisa suggested they be in each other’s presence and reaffirm their love, so they’re trying. He tells her that he feels terrible about what happened in Vegas, but she says she wants to leave it behind them. In her interview, she says she has no more doubts about him, and got the answers that she needed. He says he just wants to get take-out and watch Pauly Shore movies with her for the rest of their lives. Really? He’s not sounding much better than David. Worse. At least David has his Instagram going for him. In his interview, Schwartz says his confidence over the wedding has wavered, but in the past few days, they’ve brought back the reason they’re doing it.

Time for the photo shoot. It’s Brittany’s first, and she says she feels like part of the family. Ariana says it’s like the awkward office Christmas party you have to go to, but at this party, she’s naked. That actually sounds like one of those recurring nightmares. A table is set with a sumptuous feast, the pig at the center. Jax thinks they should update the website with the new photos, since they still show Kristen and Stassi, who haven’t worked at SUR for years. Tom has come prepared for anything – formal, casual, bright colors, muted colors. The photographer takes some shots of the girls fully dressed first.

Stassi and Kristen go out for lunch. I don’t know what it is, but it looks good. Thai maybe? Kristen gets a text from the girls about the photo shoot, saying be glad you’re not here. Stassi says her date was nice, but she needs a man. She wants to be the young skank, not be left for the young skank. Kristen thinks she needs someone who has their sh*t together, and in LA, that doesn’t happen until they’re in their 30s. Jax aside. They discuss Katie and Schwartz. Stassi thinks Lisa is smart to hesitate over officiating at the wedding. Then can’t believe she said that.

Photos are taken of Lisa with the guys in formal wear. Katie asks Scheana for tips about the wedding, since she’s never even been in one. Scheana says she feels a little left out; she misses their individual closeness. Katie says she didn’t realize Scheana was feeling excluded, and Scheana is just as important to her as ever. Scheana gets weepy, and tells Katie that she wants to be included.

Lisa sets up a shot of Tom and Ariana, suggesting they fornicate on the table. Only Lisa can get away with using that word. In his interview, Tom instructs us on how to hide an erection if you need to. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ Several photos are taken.

Schwartz and Katie talk privately, although Tom walks past and makes faces at them. Schwartz wonders if they should have a back-up in case Lisa says no. Lisa comes by, and says that’s how she wants to see them, smiling and happy, but not now because they have to get moving. Pictures are taken of Schwartz, Katie and a rose. Lisa is glad they’ve taken her advice to heart.

Brittany tells Jax he looks handsome, but I think he looks uncomfortable. She wonders why he didn’t return the compliment, and he says he told her that she looked pretty twice, and that should be enough. He’s such an oaf. I never even use that word, but it totally applies here.

The group shot is taken at a table with more lavish meal stuff. In her interview, Lisa likes having the photo shoot to document the history of SUR. Giggy! She says it’s like an extended family.

While out to dinner at SUR, Schwartz says he feels like he and Katie have gone through twenty years of relationship in five years. Katie says they looked at each other and their relationship through other people’s eyes, and it changed things. Lisa joins them and asks how they’re doing. Katie says they’ve been paying attention to the small things, like kissing each other good-by. Schwartz asks Lisa what her answer is, and she says now she’ll be happy and honored. She says they deserve each other, but in a good way. They’re both lovely people.

Next time, Lala is back, Stassi gets glamour shots taken, James meets Raquel’s mother, and Jax and Tom cook up a surprise for Schwartz.

🏖  Just a note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching (God help me), but not recapping. Why bother? Sex, fight, rinse, repeat. The really bizarre thing, the thing that bothers me the most, isn’t that this is like The Real World  for adults (the more current seasons of The Real World, not the first ones, which were actually interesting), but that they sound like they’re rejects from Vanderpump Rules. They have accents like Valley girls, and one of them even said “gag me with a spoon” tonight. They didn’t move the Hamptons, right? The Hamptons is still on the east coast, right? Where did they get these people? This show frightens me. I could blow the SUR kids off, citing coastal and age differences, again with the exception of Jax, but this group is in their 30s and Long Island is still in New York, right? The antics of this bunch belong in a frat house, and it isn’t even appropriate there. The finale is next week. This has been one long summer.

🍹 Although Kyle did give one of the best quotes ever: I am way to drunk to deal with this right now.

Feb28

February 27, 2017 – Jason Gets Closer to the Truth, the NOLA Trip Ends, Summer House Implodes & Little LA is Back

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason explains that Sam told him Alexis was having difficulty with her sobriety, so she was staying over. Alexis shows him her 30-day chip, and says oddly enough, it’s the one day she’s not struggling. Jason tries Sam’s phone and it rings from Alexis’s purse. Oh-ho! So that’s what Olivia-J put in there. Did she think Alexis would never notice? Okay, if it was in my purse, it might take a while, but did she think it was never going to ring?

Olivia-J comes back to her room. Julian, who is handcuffed to the radiator with a hood over his head, asks if the psycho witch is back. She takes the hood off, and says she thought they should wait together for the news about GH.

Finn asks to speak privately to Hayden. Tracy says she can take a hint. Finn tells Hayden that he’ll do anything. He doesn’t want to lose her

Felicia joins Bobbie at the MetroCourt. Bobbie says she hasn’t been able to sleep since Felicia told her about Nelle’s secret. She asks if Felicia is sure it’s true, and she says absolutely.

Michael and Nelle get back from the cabin. Nelle tells Michael that he has to go and save the hospital, and she has to take care of one thing. After that, she can start over.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. Carly says she’s going home – to pack, and explain to Josslyn that she’s moving back in with him.

Monica asks Tracy if they have enough votes to save the hospital. Tracy tells her not until Laura shows up.

Olivia-J tells Julian that Laura got sidetracked, and he’ll get to live. He asks what she did with Sam.

Alexis wonders how the phone got in her purse. Jason asks if she left her purse anywhere. She says she only stepped away from it when she was talking with her sponsor. Jason shows her a picture of Olivia-J and asks if she recognizes it. Alexis says that’s her sponsor.

Felicia tells Bobbie that she contacted another teacher who’d been a friend of Nelle’s. Bobbie wonders why a stranger would tell Felicia anything. Felicia says that besides having an honest face, she’d explained that Nelle is on the short list to be Crimson’s woman of the month, and she was interviewing people who know her.

Carly tells Sonny that she hadn’t grieved Morgan properly. She wanted to bury herself in Sonny’s arms, but couldn’t. He tells her that he missed her. Thanksgiving night he was sure their marriage was done and that she was going back to Jax. He imagined the worst. She says that’s over, and she’s here with him now. They kiss

Nelle tells Michael that his words affected her, and she’s going to end what she started. He asks why she’s taking all the blame, and what about her boyfriend? She says he’s involved, and it would devastate his wife. Michael made her realize that she would only end up devastating herself. She’s been focused on the past, and wants to look to the future and spend more time with him. She says at the end of the night, she’ll be free to focus on him and whatever they decide to do.

Nelle says she feels like a new person. Michael tells her not to change too much. He leaves, and she tosses out the phone with the audio file on it and deletes the copy on her laptop. She says all that’s left now is what she sent to Carly. Like an idiot though, she leaves the dialogue box that says “Sonny audio file deleted” up on the computer screen.

Sonny tells Carly that they should make if official. She says she never filed for divorce, but he suggests renewing their vows. She adds, for the sixth time. He says he’s not the best Catholic, but he likes the ritual of his faith. He’d also like Griff to be the officiant. Carly says that’s fine, if he’s willing. Bobble texts Carly to meet her about something important. Sonny says he’s going to win Bobbie over yet, starting with making her daughter happy. Carly says she didn’t think she’d ever be happy again, but she is, and she loves him. He says he loves her too.

Hayden doesn’t want to be responsible for whether or not Finn goes to rehab. He asks Hayden to give him a chance. She tells him to let her do her job, and he wishes her luck with the board. No one has seen Laura, and they need her vote. Gray says it’s time to start. Tracy tells him that Michael and Laura are on their way

Julian asks again what Olivia-J did. She pours herself a stiff one, and says there was an accident. She tells Julian that Sam attacked her, and wound up falling off a bridge.

Jason asks Alexis if she’s sure. Alexis says she is, and wants to know who it is in the picture. Jason tells her it’s Olivia Jerome, who was presumed dead. Alexis is shocked that her sponsor is Julian’s sister. Jason says he thinks she’s been pulling Julian’s strings for a while, and that she set up the car bomb that killed Morgan. He figures that her being Alexis’s sponsor is a front, and one more thing she has over him. Alexis remembers walking in on them talking. She says Julian knew she was being duped and never said a word. They both suddenly remember that Sam is missing, and Alexis wonders if Olivia got to her.

Sam hears sirens in the distance, and tells Scout that help is coming.

Julian can’t believe that Olivia-J left Sam after she fell. He tells her that Sam is pregnant, and he can’t understand how she can be so heartless. Olivia says Sam attacked her, and she didn’t intend to hurt her. He’s the one who’s heartless, and deserves what she’s thrown at him. Alexis calls Julian. Olivia wonders why she’s calling.

Alexis leaves a message for Julian, saying that his sister Olivia is her sponsor, and she’s done something to Sam. Alexis wants to call Olivia-J and set her up, but Jason tells her not to.

Sam calls out that she’s down at the bottom of the hill. The sirens fade, and she realizes it wasn’t for them. She tells Scout it’s okay, but starts feeling pain.

Michael shows up at the board meeting. Tracy says a member is running behind schedule, and asks to postpone. Gray won’t go for it, and Michael says maybe Laura will show before they vote. Hayden presents her proposal, and Tracy starts asking questions. Gray says she’s stalling, and wants a vote. Monica asks Hayden to leave per policy.

Monica sees Obrecht in the hallway, and she tells Monica that she has something to do in the boardroom. Monica says there’s a board meeting going on, and what business could she have with it?

Sonny finds Griff at the hospital, and Griff tells him about the sickout. Sonny says he can’t provide nurses, but if he needs other workers, he can supply them. Griff says he’ll let him know. Sonny tells him about getting back together with Carly, and how they want to renew their vows with him officiating. Griff asks whose idea it was, and Sonny says it was his. He asks if it has anything to do with Sonny cheating on Carly.

Nelle goes through the mail at the office, but can’t find the envelope. She asks the mail guy where yesterday’s mail is, and he tells her that Bobbie was there organizing it for Carly.

Carly joins Bobbie. Nelle texts that she’s back, and Carly explains what happened with the cabin. Bobbie says Nelle is the reason she needed to see Carly. She says there’s no easy way, and tells her about Felicia investigating Nelle’s background, and that she found something big.

Michael says the board is deadlocked. Monica says there can be no resolution until Laura arrives. Obrecht says that’s where she comes in, to break the tie.

The pharmaceutical guy meets Finn at the bar. Finn says he researched the company, and they’re more about greed than healing people. He says the cure is mostly needed in underdeveloped countries. He believes they’re going to take his formula, tweak it, jack up the price, and make money. The guy says there are other applications, which is why they’re interested. Finn says no thanks, but the guy makes him an offer, doing that writing it on a piece of paper thing.

Griff tells Sonny that this is no way to move forward from one night stand, pretending that it didn’t happen. He says secrets are rarely kept, and how it comes out is what matters.

Nelle tells the mail guy that he shouldn’t have given Bobbie the mail, since she makes everything a bigger deal than it needs to be. He thinks it was just junk anyway. Nelle asks if she opened anything, but he doesn’t know.

Bobbie tells Carly that Nelle is bad news, and Carly will be hurt the most. Carly says she can handle it. Bobbie reminds her when Nelle decided not to take the job in Atlanta. Carly says it was because of Nelle’s boyfriend. Thinking Bobbie is focusing on Nelle’s boyfriend being married, she says that both she and Bobbie have made those mistakes. Bobbie tells her the S stands for Sonny. This is what Felicia found out? And she went to Atlanta to do it? I was hoping for something we didn’t know. Like the real connection between Nelle and Carly.

Finn slides the offer back. He’s not selling the formula unless it’s on his terms, which means getting it to the people who need it. Pharm guy says with this money he could find all kinds of cures. Finn says that he already did, and doesn’t want it out of his control. Never. Pharm guy writes another offer. Finn makes a hmmm… face, and says that’s a lot of money. He tears the paper in half. The pharm guy leaves his card in case Finn changes his mind.

Hayden wonders why Obrecht gets a vote. Tracy says she probably made herself an alternate during her reign of terror. Tracy says it’s not legal, but Michael says it is. Obrecht says that a privately owned hospital can turn away needy patients. Tracy is glad they’re both concerned with the less fortunate.

Olivia-J tells Julian that the board is going to be voting, and they’ll see if Julian lives or dies. He says she buys GH, then what? She says he’ll see, and that it’s going to be epic.

Alexis calls the police. They take the report, but won’t act on it, and Jason says it’s up to them. He finds a picture on Sam’s phone from inside Olivia-J’s car. Jason says he thinks he knows where it is, and tells Alexis who to contact in the meantime. He tells her that if she needs verification of anything, to call Curtis, and he takes off.

Sam is having contractions. She asks if Scout can wait. She starts to climb again, and has another contraction. She says they’re coming too fast.

Nelle tears the place apart looking for the envelope. She wonders what Bobbie did with it, and says she’d better not have given it to Carly, but thinks Michael or Carly would have said something to her by now.

Sonny tells Griff that Carly is close to the woman he slept with, and thinks she’s the greatest. Griff says if the truth comes out from someone else, that will make it worse. Sonny says he can’t figure out the woman’s game. He tells himself that she won’t say anything, but realizes it’s a huge risk.

Carly says, Nelle is having an affair with Sonny? Bobbie says Felicia found a friend of hers who said she’s involved with her boss’s husband. It’s serious, and she’s terrified that her boss will find out. Let me just stop here and wonder why on earth a friend of Nelle’s would tell Felicia this, when she claimed to be interviewing for a woman of the month story. Carly says Bobbie has never liked Nelle, and seems to have all the answers. Bobbie tells Carly that there were signs. Maybe she didn’t want to see them, but they were there. She says for one thing, Sonny always got weird when talking about Nelle, and warned Michael away from her. Carly says she knows Sonny. He would never do this, and she’s going to prove it.

Finn asks Monica how it’s going, and she says not good. At the meeting, Obrecht says the hospital is going under; it’s inevitable. If it’s going down, she doesn’t want the Quartermaines to have all the power. When she was Chief of Staff, Tracy voted to fire her, and that was a big mistake. She votes in favor of the real estate developer.

Julian gets a message about the vote. Olivia says she won GH and he won a stay of execution. Julian wants to find Sam.

Sam is busy going into labor. She asks Scout to wait, but doesn’t think Scout is listening. Jason arrives at the foot bridge. He calls out to Sam and she hears him. For the love of all that’s holy, Jason, just look down. He keeps calling, but Sam can’t answer.

Carly knocks on Nelle’s door. No answer. She starts to leave, but finds a key under the mat. She lets herself in. Really? She looks around. No Nelle. She says Sonny isn’t interested in Nelle, and doesn’t even like her. She sees the dialogue box about the Sonny file being deleted on Nelle’s laptop.

Sonny tells Griff that he was going to come clean to Carly, but she had the night planned and was so happy. He didn’t want to cause her more pain. Griff says it will be worse if she finds out from someone else. He can’t let that happen.

Nelle finds the envelope. She says everything is going to be okay, and Carly will never know.

Carly ponders why there would be a recording of Sonny, and why it would be deleted. She sees the phone in the wastebasket and wonders what’s on it. She sits on the couch with the laptop and plugs it in. Dammit! She plays the file. She hears Sonny say that under no circumstance is Carly to know that he and Nelle had sex.

Tomorrow, Monica says they’ll know any minute, Bobbie tells Nelle game over, and Jason is still calling for Sam who is a few feet away from him.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana suggests to Tom that Vegas is at the root of Schwartz and Katie’s issues. Tom asks what about the four years before that? Schwartz says he’s done, and doesn’t want to marry Katie.

We flash back to Jax’s big mouth about Schwartz’s dalliance, and Katie says maybe Ariana is right. She says she squelched her feelings, and didn’t want to discuss it to protect Schwartz. Stassi says she wishes she’d known, but it was during the time they were estranged.

Tom claims that Schwartz proposed because of an ultimatum. He thinks maybe Katie should have worked her own stuff out first. Scheana says he must love her, or he wouldn’t have done it. Tom screeches that Schwartz is a battered wife, and to look at him! He flings the door open to Schwartz sitting on the bed still in drag. So is Tom, and they look like something out of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Katie says that she must be the dumbest [sic] woman on the planet, and Jax doesn’t get why Schwartz doesn’t just apologize. He thinks Katie should demand the truth. Schwartz walks in. He calls Katie a bitch, and Stassi tells him to knock it off. He says he wishes cheating really was their problem, and stumbles back out.

Brittany brings up the altercation the night before, and doesn’t like how the guys were discussing Kristen without her being there. Kristen thinks Tom is just creating problems and should stay out of it. Katie talks to Stassi, saying that Schwartz only 20% admitted to cheating. Whatever that means. She felt that she’d put a lot of time into the relationship already, and didn’t want to let it ruin things. In his interview, Jax brings up how Tom keeps saying Schwartz couldn’t have cheated when he was so drunk. He says that when he’s drinking, his brain shuts down, not his other head. I’m guessing this actually depends on several factors, including the individual. Jax thinks this isn’t normal, and that Schwartz should call things off. He says that Schwartz should approach Katie and say they’re supposed to be a team. That sounds like two different things.

Jax asks the girls to clear out, and give Schwartz and Katie privacy, but Katie doesn’t want to talk. She says she’s not ready, and besides, Schwartz is still wearing a dress and sporting a smoky eye. She thinks he’s blackout drunk, and they should revisit things in the morning. Jax explains what happened in Vegas to Brittany, and that Schwartz basically admitted to hooking up. If my memory serves me right, I don’t think Schwartz ever actually said he did anything other than making out. It was Jax who kept assuming he’d had sex.

Stassi tells Schwartz he’s being an a-hole. He says he made out with a chick when he was drunk, and tells Stassi she had a good run with Patrick. Stassi wonders what her choices in men have to do with Schwartz cheating on Katie.

Katie tells someone to close the blinds, reminding me of Kari Wuhrer in Beastmaster 2. Schwartz is still staggering around in his dress. He goes to Jax and Brittany’s room. Ariana wakes up to Tom’s manicure. Tom says that Schwartz and Katie throw tantrums like toddlers, and wake up not even remembering what they were arguing about. Shay dips into some snacks he’s left next to the bed. Scheana thinks everyone should stay sober until the wedding. She tells Shay that it’s a good thing they’re doing a prenup. Scheana isn’t the brightest bulb in the SUR box, but occasionally, she can be the voice of reason.

In her interview, Stassi says Katie and Schwartz have been fighting about the same things for years. We flash back to some of that. She says she’s trying to support them as a couple, but it’s hard.

Lisa arrives at SUR. Cashier, Katie-O (ugh! double Katies now), wants to become a server, and Lisa says she’ll put her through the paces. She likes when people come through the ranks. She gives us several examples, and ends with James, who started as a busser, rose to a server, then a DJ, and then got fired.

Katie calls Lisa, telling her they’ve had some flare-ups. Lisa asks if they’re looking for problems. She says they shouldn’t be fighting now, and that there will be tough times ahead. She tells Katie to patch things up and get the relationship back on track.

Everyone gathers at the pool. Tom passes out shirts with funny names on them that he had made. Schwartz wonders what happened, and everyone wonders where Katie is. In his interview, Schwartz says the worst nightmare of a combined bachelor/bachelorette party has come true, and his best choice is to run away and start fresh somewhere.

Stassi, Katie and Kristen visit Stassi’s childhood home. Her father is putting it on the market, and she wants to see it one last time. She talks about the memories, and how she had so many sleepovers, her father started thinking she was a lesbian. She’s very hungover, and keeps throwing up. Her grandmother is also there, and she says her grandmother is everything she aspires to be, but her grandmother is way nicer. Stassi is getting sentimental, and Grandma says once everything is gone, it’s only a house. I am so down with that, having gone through the selling of my own childhood home when my father died. I’ve always said that once he was gone, it was just a house and no longer a home. They go down Memory Lane. We see some retro photos, and find out that Stassi’s grandmother is the one who named her.

Jax reminds Schwartz of all the things he said the night before, but Schwartz says he was just being cynical. Jax says they can’t afford another blow up. In his interview, Jax says sometimes you have to apologize whether you’re sorry or not. He says his father always tells him happy wife, happy life. Joe Giudice will tell you that too.

Katie says she needs at least twenty more hours of sleep. Stassi thinks the problem isn’t Tequila Katie, but Tequila Tom. Katie says the silver lining is that people finally got to see Schwartz at his worst. Stassi announces that the girls won the weekend.

Lisa goes through some role playing with Katie-O. She says it can be intimidating, but if a server can get past her, they can get past anyone. She says they can make or break a diner’s experience. Katie stumbles through the menu somewhat. Lisa says she has to know it inside out and upside down, and she’s not ready yet.

Katie tells Schwartz that he was coming at everyone last night, and he should just admit he slept with that girl. He says he didn’t. She says she’s not doing this anymore, but he wants to work through it, and wants her to drop the Vegas thing. He says she was a nightmare from the jump, and Katie tells him that he had an option. He put a ring on it, so stop throwing it in her face all the time. Schwartz sprays whipped cream into his mouth straight from the container, and Katie thinks that they should do this later. He takes a shot of vodka, and she suggests that he stop criticizing her and reminding her of every sh*tty thing she’s done. He asks her to stop bringing up Vegas. He says he loves her, and they should just have some fun. These two wear me out, and I’m just watching them on TV.

Katie calls Schwartz a Bridezilla. He wants to salvage the last night. Everyone goes to the bar. More shots! In his interview, Schwartz says heavy drinking tears them apart, but it’s also the glue that brings them back together. It’s a cycle, and a vicious one at times. I could say a lot here, but why bother? They move on to playing spin-the-bottle. In her interview, Scheana says she’s happy she’s married, since this group is crazy about kissing one another. Schwartz says this is his last kiss before getting married, and it’s Tom. Stassi gets Peter, who thinks it’s weird, because they dated briefly. Schwartz says the party should have been like this from the beginning. Peter and Stassi start getting into some serious kissing.

Tom joins Kristen, who is having a smoke outside. She tells him he’s a giant a-hole. She asks why he feels the need to talk to her boyfriend about her past. She says he stepped into the swamp, and she wants to know why he’d talk to Carter about things that happened years ago, adding that Carter knows more than he does. Tom says they were bombarding Schwartz, and Carter came into the situation, talking like he’d been there. Kristen says she’s a different person now. Tom apologizes, and says he doesn’t want to talk about the past, and wants them to be cool. We flash back to their weepy conversation in Miami. He says that book is closed.

Giggy! Harrison! Schnooky! Lisa sips tea and works, while she lounges in bed with the dogs. Ken joins them. She thinks they should do a young restaurant with some young partners. Maybe groom somebody to take the pressure off a bit. She wonders if, with some guidance, Tom might be ready. She says he’s an excellent bartender, and she believes he’s hungry. She and Ken banter. That’s not a euphemism for anything. They have some witty repartee. I have to add that even though he’s usually snoozing while being carried around, Giggy can be quite lively when there is the prospect of food.

A Murphy bed is pulled down in the bar (!), and the gang makes Katie lie on it, demanding that Schwartz give her a lap dance. Jax throws money at them, and Schwartz pulls down his pants. Everyone has a shot. Of booze. Scheana says their relationship is like being on a roller coaster. She hopes they don’t come crashing down when gravity happens.

Back in the girls’ suite, Stassi opens champagne. Tom talks to the guys about his conversation with Kristen. Katie draws on Schwartz’s face as he drifts off into a drunken stupor.

The next morning, Brittany says she feels like death. Jax is wearing a bra insert on his face, thinking it’s something for puffy eyes. Brittany asks him not to post any pictures of himself in drag on social media, since her mother has enough of an issue thinking he’s gay.

Shay tells Scheana that he thinks Schwartz has a lot of built up frustration, and that marriage means a lot of adjustment. He’s so wise, that Shay.

Stassi feels successful for going to NOLA and kissing a guy, even if the guy was Peter. Schwartz is glad he and Katie pulled things together. In his interview, he says any issues they haven’t resolved, they don’t have time for. They’re setting that bottle out to sea. Katie wants to put the wedding train back on the tracks.

Next time, the annual SUR pictures, Scheana feels left out, Stassi goes on a date, and Katie and Schwartz ask Lisa to officiate at the wedding.

🏊 Just a quick note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching when it’s convenient. These people are in their 30s with seriously good jobs – what has happened to the world? While I probably did drink a lot in my 30s, I didn’t behave like I was in middle school (or junior high, if you’re from my neck of the woods). Tonight, the gang got on a party bus with a stripper pole, and as with the proverbial train wreck, I couldn’t turn away. Everyone slinging back booze, publicly displaying various affections, and swinging from the rafters. Or at least from the pole. I have no doubt, had I been privy to the Hamptons during my youth, I would have partied, but Not. Like. This. I can’t even imagine what desperate need for attention would prompt this group to display their immature selves on TV. Isn’t anyone concerned that their boss might see this? I’m both flabbergasted and appalled.

💃 Little Women: LA starts its new season tomorrow, Tuesday at 9 pm. Opposite The Haves and the Have Nots and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Thanks, Lifetime! I really want to catch this season too, since Terra was on Dancing with the Stars. This week is the HAHN finale though, so hopefully this will only be painful the first time.

 

Jan17

January 16, 2017 – Julian Presents a Challenge, Katie is Showered, Random Thoughts & MLK Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Griff tells Julian that he’s doing well. While he checks on the X-rays, Julian calls Alexis and leaves a message. He hears someone come into the room, and assuming it’s Griff, asks how things look. It’s Winston, who tells him it’s not looking very good.

Sonny thinks about his last interaction with Nell. Jason and Sam stop by. He tells them that he’s thinking about the things he has to deal with. Well, it’s not a lie.

Nell confers with Olivia, who tells her to take the rest of the day off. Nell nearly runs into Michael on her way out.

Lulu tells Robin that she’s glad Robin could stay for Maxie’s wedding part two. She gets a text, and says there’s just a minor hiccup.

Nathan asks Nina where Maxie is. Nina says they left her alone for two seconds and she disappeared. Nathan says everyone is showing up any minute, and Nina tells him the surprise is on them.

Maxie is at a ticket window. I assume at the airport, although the airport looks amazingly like GH.

Curtis sees Jordan at the MetroCourt and asks her what’s going on. She tells him about the wedding. He tells her he can help them with the case, but has to do it on his terms, and she has to do him a solid. She says her new shoes hurt, so hurry up with the explanation. He tells her that they’re moving in on the person who caused Morgan’s death, and it’s not Sonny.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam that a luxury cage is still a cage. He’s been thinking about how whoever caused Morgan’s death is still out there. Sam says no one inspected the damage at the pawn shop, and it’s owned by a dummy corporation. Sonny tells them that the trial starts soon, so they have to move fast.

Nell tells Michael about the wedding, and he says he’s there with a tux for Dante. He asks her to join him for some hot chocolate.

Nina tells the others that she did everything as planned, and acted like it was a normal day. Nathan says all of his calls to Maxie have gone to voicemail. Nina adds that everything was fine, but Lulu says apparently not. They decide to check Maxie’s computer.

Maxie asks for a flight to Portland. The desk clerk says over 30 people are on stand-by, and she’s better off going tomorrow. She explains how great Nathan is, how he’s a hot cop who speaks French, and they’re supposed to be on their honeymoon, but she needs to go someplace where her feelings won’t be judged. Hey, she sees Spinelli, but it’s not Spinelli. I’m hoping it’s because the actor got a better gig elsewhere. I’ll miss him.

Nathan finds out that Maxie ordered a car to take he to the airport.

NuSpinelli says she’s not supposed to be there. She says she was at work, but no one showed the slightest bit of sensitivity after the wedding postponement. She wants to see Georgie, but Spinelli tells her that’s not possible right now. When she asks why he’s there, he says he’s doing some work for Sam. He tells her that Ellie is taking Georgie to DisneyWorld in his absence. Maxie asks if that isn’t a milestone, and says she wanted to be the first to take her. She makes for the window again, but Spinelli asks why she’s really fleeing (his word). Maxie says that she doesn’t want to make a sad situation all about her, and is giving Nathan space. Spinelli says he thinks the last thing Nathan would want is space. He’s rented a car, and asks her to let him drive her back. He says Nathan might surprise her.

Sam says she hasn’t had a chance to talk to Julian about the picture, but he seemed genuinely worried. Sonny says he’s partly responsible for Morgan’s death. Sam leaves the room, and Sonny asks Jason how she’s doing. Jason says good, but he’s trying not to worry her. Sonny says Jason took a risk and he appreciates that. He says when it’s over, they need to have a conversation about his role in the business.

Winston tells Julian that Jason and Curtis found the office, and the boss is upset about the expense and the inconvenience. He says they’ve had enough of Jason and to get rid of him – tonight.

Curtis explains about the hidden office to Jordan, and how they’d gotten the information from Buzz. He tells her that a woman calls all the shots. Jordan asks where Buzz is, and Curtis tells her that he’s stashed somewhere safe, but the bottom line is that Sonny is innocent. Jordan says to bring Buzz in and she’ll take his statement.

Winston tells Julian to get rid of Jason. Julian says he’s not killing his daughter’s husband. Winston says up until now, he’s done everything they requested. Julian says there were no requests, he was forced, and he’s done. Griff interrupts with the X-ray results.

Sonny tells Jason there’s no one he trusts more than him. He asks if Jason doesn’t feel like this is where he belongs. Jason says he belongs with his wife and kids. Sonny asks him to just think about it. Sam comes back in and says they’d better get going. Outside, she tells Jason she heard Sonny make him another offer. She knows things change and is with him no matter what. She looks weird, and he asks what’s wrong, but she says it’s nothing.

Michael and Nell go to Perks for hot chocolate. He reminds her of how he followed her there and convinced her to stay. She tells him that staying there has lined up with some of her long-term goals.

Nathan and Dante ask the airline clerk about Maxie, but he’s hesitant to tell them anything. Nathan says it’s not official police business, but when he starts telling the story, the clerk recognizes it, and asks if he speaks French. The clerk tells him that Maxie didn’t buy a ticket, but he heard her talking about going to DisneyWorld.

Spinelli brings Maxi back to the office. She says that if she sees another wedding accessory, she’s going to freak out. Lulu and Robin hold up bouquets, and tell her welcome to her wedding day. Nina tells her that she’s marrying Nathan tonight. She asks if Spinelli knew. He says he did, and Mac is picking up Georgie and Ellie. Maxie says she doesn’t want to force Nathan down the aisle, and Lulu tells her that it was his idea. Nina says Nathan would move mountains, heaven, and earth to be with her.

Dante looks to see if any other airlines are leaving for Atlanta, because that’s where DisneyWord is. Was that a mistake, a joke, what? Unless she was making a connecting flight, she wouldn’t be going there to see Georgie either. Spinelli calls and tells them the bride has been recovered. Sounds like something out of Kill Bill.

Jordan tells Curtis that she doesn’t like the way he went about it, but appreciates his dedication, and maybe she can trust him again. She tells him to bring Buzz in, and he may be worthy of a badge again. He says her trust means a lot, but so does Buzz’s, and wonders if there’s another way.

Julian tells Griff that Winston is his driver. Winston says he thought Julian might need assistance, and Griff tells him he’s free to go. When Griff leaves, Julian tells Winston that he took an unnecessary risk, and Winston says Julian did the same with Jason. Julian says he’s tired of being prisoner of his own life. He had a good life, and lost it because of what they’ve made him do. He tells Winston that it’s not going to happen, so go ahead and kill him. He’s not letting them tear apart his family’s lives the way they’ve torn apart his. He says Winston has made it clear, now he’ll do the same. He’s done, the hell with them, and he’s telling his family everything.

Lulu makes sure all the details are in place. It’s time for Maxie to get ready.

Olivia gives Dante his tux and tells them to get ready. Nathan thanks Dante for having his back and making him feel like a part of the family. He’s honored to have him as best man. They bro hug.

Griff stops by Sonny’s place on the way to the wedding. He asks how Sonny been since he’s homebound, and if he’s found any peace. Sonny says he’s not going to excuse his lifestyle, but it’s good to know it wasn’t his fault. Griff says he’s sure it brought relief to him and Carly. Sonny says it’s helped the healing process, but Griff senses there’s something more. He says something made him go there today, and he can listen. Sonny says he slept with someone other than his wife.

Michael wants to ice skate, but Nell hesitates. She says she actually skates quite well, and could have made it into the Olympics. Coaches cost money though, and her father told her to forget about it, so she did and hasn’t skated since. Michael says he’s sorry, and she says dreams are just dreams, and not everyone can afford to follow them, which she learned at a young age. She says she’ll pass on skating, since it doesn’t have good memories. Michael says if we wallow in pain, it can affect the rest of our lives, and that we should be defined by what we do today. She should let go of the baggage that’s holding her back.

Sonny tells Griff that he was hurting and drinking after Carly left, and heard she kissed her ex. Griff asks who it is. Sonny says someone close to the family who’s getting close with Michael, so this would hurt him too. Griff says he can’t judge him for his actions, but a bunch of Hail Marys probably won’t help him. Sonny wants to know if he should tell the truth.

Winston tells Julian that letting his family know would just put them in the boss’s sights. Julian says he thought he was keeping them safe, but everything he’s been made to do has put them in harm’s way. He thinks maybe the boss should worry about him for a change. Maybe it’s time to turn on the lights. He says when that happens, he’ll be a powerful enemy. He’s done playing. Julian walks out.

Winston calls one of the temp waiters at the wedding. We saw him earlier. Olivia had questioned what he was doing there and Nell said he was a temp she’d hired because they didn’t have enough staff for the restaurant and Maxie’s wedding. I don’t think Nell has anything to do with it though – she has her own revenge storyline. Winston tells the waiter that the boss is right; Julian isn’t being cooperative, and they need to go on with the plan. The waiter gets into elevator with Olivia.

At first, I was thinking the boss is going to wreak havoc at the wedding by blowing it up or something, but that really wouldn’t get them very far. Julian isn’t going to be there and he’d totally expose them if that happened. So my next thought is, they’re going to kidnap someone? Sam?

Sam tells Jason that she just needs to take it easy. He asks if she wants to go home. She doesn’t want to miss the wedding, but says that sounds good. The elevator opens and Julian is standing there.

Maxie thanks the girls, saying she treasures all of them. They group hug.

Nell tells Michael that it’s easy to let things go when you grow up in the lap of luxury. He says that’s not fair or accurate. He tells Nell that you have to keep living and trying, and you’ll make it through. She asks how he stays so positive, and he says he doesn’t like the alternative. He says every day he makes one happy memory, so he looks forward and not back. He suggests they rent some skates.

Griff tells Sonny that there are two schools of thought: the truth will set you free, or the damage is already done. Sonny says so either he suffers in silence or bites the bullet, but he doesn’t know which to choose. Griff has to leave, and Sonny walks him to the door, thanking him for stopping by. Griff tells him to think and pray about it, and he’ll know when he knows. Griff, the great philosopher. The next Kahlil Gabran.

Jordan tells Curtis that anything less than Buzz’s statement isn’t good for her. Curtis asks if she’d be comfortable taking it outside of the station. She agrees, and he says he’ll set it up. She asks if he’s okay with this, and he says he trusts her.

Julian says he has to tell Sam something. She says she’s not up for his lies and evasions, but he says the both of them need to hear this.

Winston tells the boss that they’ll send Julian a message that he won’t be able to ignore.

Olivia is on the phone and says, you’re scaring me.

Tomorrow, maybe the surprise wedding happens, Griff asks Anna what happened, Winston says the plans are in motion, and Olivia plans to meet someone at GH.

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! Harrison! And the rest! ♫ Here on Vanderpump Isle! ♫

In her interview, Lisa says that people say that she’s obsessed with dogs, and they’re right. I knew there was a reason I liked her. Katie stops by with new SUR dress choices and Lisa picks one out. She asks Schwartz and Katie how the birthday trips went. Schwartz loved the fast cars, RV and beer, and Katie says sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. She invites Lisa to her shower, and Lisa says she’ll be by for a glass of champagne.

Scheana tells Brittany that she heard Jax was a d*ck during the trip. How this would be different from any other time, I’m not sure. In her interview, Brittany says Jax needs to shape up. Right now, her mother likes him, and she wants to keep it that way.

Lala strolls into work, and Tom asks what happened that she never showed up for Ariana’s birthday. She says she’s feeling that she doesn’t want to surround herself with people who aren’t positive and bring out the best in her. When she heard Jax was on the guest list, she got a knot in her stomach. After pointing out that she had plenty of time to say something about it, Tom tells her that he and Ariana have taken a lot of grief in sticking up for her, and she couldn’t even be bothered to answer their texts. She says she’ll be glad to pay them back for the ticket, but he says that’s not the point. Scheana joins them, and basically says the same thing. Lala says she’s sorry, and she has a gift for them if they want it. In his interview, Tom says he’s probably done with Lala forever.

Kristen hosts a comedy show at the Improv. We flash back to Ariana being offended that Kristen was horning in on her territory, and saying that she takes comedy seriously. In her interview, Kristen says that Ariana refuses to come because she might laugh. Kristen’s friend, Gabi, does a bit about an app that turns d*ck pics into classic art to “camouflage” them. In his interview, Jax thinks it’s a low blow that they used one of his pics, but I don’t know if he gets that he made a joke. In his interview, Schwartz says the pic had actually gone viral, and Tom recognized Jax’s shoes. Jax thinks he’d be a good model for sex toys. I will point out again that he’s nearly 40 years old.

Brittany brings the man behind the pic to Stassi’s attention. She’s impressed that Brittany can call out Jax’s penis in a mash-up. Brittany thought it would be nice if they’d given her a heads up and she definitely doesn’t realize she made a joke. Neither does anyone else, and I’m shocked. I’m usually not the one with a 14-year-old boy’s mentality. In her interview, Kristen says you’d be surprised how difficult they are to find, and if you google d*ck pic, all you get are old men politicians in navy blue suits. I’ll take her word for it.

Lisa isn’t thrilled with the paint colors that Katie has picked out for her dining room, saying they look more like something for a nursery. Katie tells Lisa about the comedy show, and explains the app joke. Lisa tells her that it’s like she’s speaking a different language. Katie says it’s not something she’s ever received, and Lisa says her neither, and she feels left out. Katie tells Lisa about Jax’s contribution.

Brittany is annoyed that Jax didn’t cop to the pic at first. He talks to Kristen and tells her that he didn’t appreciate it, and Brittany says she feels hurt. Stassi says the group is very forgiving, so it often doesn’t register that anything would make anyone feel weird. Kristen wonders who hasn’t seen it, and doesn’t get why Brittany doesn’t think it’s funny, because she’s one of the most dense people ever born.

They discuss Lala. Kristen thinks the only one who can actually screw Lala over is James. Lala says she can’t stand him, but he’s on her Snapchat, so Kristen can’t figure out whether the hate is true or fake. In her interview, Stassi says she knows for a fact that Lala is dating a married man, but they need James to confirm it.

Lala visits James. He asks if she wants ice cream, his new vice since giving up drinking. She tells him she’s a grown ass woman and asks if he has liquor. All he has is whiskey. She wonders what happened, since he used to pop a bottle every other second. He says he’s been working on his music, and asks why she didn’t show for Ariana’s birthday trip. Lala says she decided just before leaving that she wasn’t going. She says she spent the weekend at the Beverly Hills Hotel, but insists her mother paid for it. James wonders why he wasn’t invited over. Lala talks about a trip to Malibu and asks if he’d like to come along. They’re taking a helicopter, and he questions the way she travels. Lala is tired of everyone being on her back about her possibly getting things from being on her back. She’s shocked that none of the other girls have ever taken a private jet, saying that no girl who isn’t ugly hasn’t been on one, because that’s LA. I have no words.

James is meeting Kristen and Stassi. Even though she’s a step away from a restraining order, Kristen is willing to take one for the team, if it means screwing over Lala. In his interview, James wonders what they want, since he knows they’re not interested in socializing with him. Kristen tells him that it seems like he’s close with Lala, although Lala talks smack about him. James seems surprised, but says she has been acting strange. They discuss the married boyfriend. He tells them Lala’s boyfriend rented an amazing house for Coachella, but made everyone sign a non-disclosure agreement. They look at it online. James thinks Tom and Ariana signed it, and Stassi has her suspicions since they always defend Lala.

Brittany’s look-alike mom, Sherri, has come to visit. In his interview, Jax says there will be no sex, no drinking, no cursing, and no pooping with the door open. If I was Brittany, I’d have my mom move in. They discuss Florida. Jax says he’s never raising a family in LA, and this leads Sherri to ask if they go to church. He doesn’t like the old-world style, and Sherri suggests he come to her Pentecostal church, which he thinks is some kind of cult. Jax needs to get out more.

A mansion has been rented for Katie’s shower. Scheana has brought baby bottles of tequila for parting gifts and the buffet is $200 worth of Taco Bell. Stassi tells Scheana about the NDA, and she insists that Tom and Ariana would never have signed something like that.

In the car, Brittany suggests that she and Jax might one day have a shower. And she doesn’t mean the kind you take in the bathroom. Sherri tells Jax it would be a shame to waste Brittany’s time, and he tells her that times have changed. He points to Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. You, Jax, are no Kurt Russell. In his interview, he’s annoyed about the pressure. Ugh! I hate that I’m having to say this, but he’s right. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be making a firm commitment (or not) after a year, but now is not the time. He’s a captive audience, and it’s two against one. Okay. Now back to hating Jax.

Stassi – who is wearing difficult to explain dress with sleeves made from spaghetti strap-like strips, that I imagine are a real pita to get into – claims that Ariana is working the groomsmen situation for all it’s worth. When she wants to, she hangs out with the guys, but she’s at the shower as well. Stassi says Katie didn’t want her around for a reason. Katie is thrilled with the venue, and can’t wait to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz. Lisa arrives, which thrills her even more.

The guys go out for Mexican food. Jax tells them how he was verbally accosted the whole way there. In his interview, Schwartz thinks one day Jax will go out for something, and the next time they see him will be his mug shot. Ha-ha!

Lisa asks Sherri how she likes Jax. She says she does, and Lisa wonders if it’s enough to have him as a son-in-law. In her interview, Lisa wonders if she’s met the real Jax. I’m still stumped as to why Brittany is so enamored of him. Sherri says they have to get him to church, and Lisa thinks he’s not ready for that. She hopes he doesn’t break Brittany’s heart. Brittany says if he does, she’ll break something of his. The something we already discussed that was in the picture. Lisa thinks that should be put in the wedding vows. Katie’s mom thanks everyone for coming. Lisa says she loves Katie, and she’s a credit to her mom.

Jax talks about going back to Minnesota. He says that no one tells you that marriage is great, they only tell you not to do it. Schwartz suggests they all go to Minnesota. He says he’s not into the institution of marriage, but he wants Katie to be happy. They toast to marriage being the best new thing is Schwartz’s life.

Stassi thinks she should have waited to break up with Patrick until after the wedding. Hmm… I though he broke up with her. Lisa has brought a blow-up doll in case Katie wants to take a break after 30 years. Its name is Katie. No kidding. It’s on the box. Stassi tells Katie about the meeting with James. They ask Ariana about the NDA. She insists she never saw anything like it, but Stassi thinks she’s exhibiting all of the tell-tale signs of lying. Katie thinks Ariana is picking sides, and brings up some old Lala crap, wondering why Ariana is still defending her. Ariana says her thinking is delusional. In her interview, Stassi says Ariana can’t take responsibility for anything. Katie walks away from the conversation.

Ariana says she doesn’t think what Lala has said is cool, but she’s not killing herself over something someone said. Stassi says they’ve all gotten in fights. Ariana says actually, she’s never gotten in a fight with anyone (huh?). Stassi wonders why she’s even there, and Ariana says she cares about Katie, not Stassi. Stassi follows Katie’s footsteps and leaves the room. Pretty soon, Ariana is going to be talking to herself.

Next time, the bachelorette party, Stassi and Ariana tangle, James gets in another fight at work (yay!), and Jax wears a crown.

Extra Thoughts

🏊 Holy! They didn’t even end the previews for Vanderpump Rules before Summer House started. Or as I call it Zzzzzummer Houzzzzze. What’s really biting my butt is that they’ve moved Timber Creek Lodge to 8 p.m. This wouldn’t be so bad, except I watch something else at 8, and Bravo doesn’t rerun it until 2:30 a.m.! Is it really necessary to see the other shows three times before showing TCL a second time? BTW, Stassi should thank her lucky stars that Kyle was insulting and she got turned off. He is nobody’s idea of a good catch – or shouldn’t be anyway. He claims Montauk is like DisneyWorld for adults, and that you never know how or where you’ll wake up. First of all, those aren’t qualities that I would assign DisneyWorld, not to mention that I’m sure the city of Montauk thanks you, and secondly, no, just no. Watching these people drink makes my stomach turn.

✍ Just a footnote: I saw Ariana on Watch What Happens Live, and she mentioned that one of the girls claimed she had a superiority complex, and this is far from the truth. In watching Vanderpump Rules a second time, think of that buzzer sound when they get the question wrong on Family Feud. She acts very superior. Like she’s above it all. Constantly. I believe she thinks she’s being mature in some way, but it’s never a bad thing to be polite. Lecture over.

Quotes for MLK Day

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

 The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

 Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

                                                                                         – Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Jan10

January 9, 2017 – Who is GH’s Lady Boss, Vanderpump Slides into Summer House, Random Atlanta Thoughts & My Dogs’ Birthday

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kiki and Dillon are back in Port Charles, having never made it to LA. Dillon wants to celebrate the way they did New Year’s Eve, whatever that means, but Kiki wants to brush her teeth for an hour. It seems they were stuck in Detroit for quite a while, and had problems getting back.

Scotty meets with Franco at the dive bar. He says Franco has a good motive for killing Tom, and Franco thanks him for his support. Franco asks when the print test is coming back from the knife. Scotty wonders if Franco’s prints will be on it.

Laura tells Elizabeth that she had a great time skating with the kids. Doc twisted his ankle while showing off though. She says the boys were amused, but also couldn’t stop taking about Franco.

Franco tells Scotty that Tom could have taken the knife, but even if his own prints are on it, it doesn’t make him guilty.

Jason asks Buzz what the name of Winston’s boss is. He doesn’t know, and didn’t get a good look at her, but remembers her voice. She told Winston to kill the homeless loser who planted the bomb.

Omg, could it be Helena??? I’ve never believed for a moment that she’s really dead. I don’t think Nicholas is really dead either. We haven’t seen the boss’s face yet, but she’s dressed in a kimono, wearing a lot of jewelry, and those don’t look like young hands. Winston tells the boss that Jason has found the homeless man.

Alexis can’t find her vodka and freaks. Julian shows her the empty bottles. He says he emptied everything out, including what she had hidden in the laundry room. She tells him he had no right to do that, but he says he’s trying to stop her from killing herself or someone else.

Kiki tells Dillon that Franco isn’t home. She thinks a bath in disinfectant followed by a bleach shower would be great, and then lots of food. They talk about what happened on the bus, and Dillon asks if the kiss changed anything.

Buzz wants to jet, and asks “Father Curtis” for a special blessing. Curtis asks about the woman’s voice, and Jason asks him to repeat what he told them. Buzz says that he realized Winston had lied, and that he didn’t plant a GPS, but a bomb that killed an innocent kid – Sonny’s kid. He realized his life was over, and went to the pawn shop to confront Winston. Curtis wonders how he got in and out with no notice, when it’s under surveillance 24/7.

Julian tells Alexis he loves her too much to allow her to ruin her life. He says she’s going to drink herself to death or have another accident, and asks how she’d feel if she killed an innocent stranger. She flashes back to struggling with Tom in the alleyway. Julian asks what’s wrong.

Scotty tells Franco that the police are going to build a case and arrest him, and what they need is an alibi. Franco is annoyed that Scotty isn’t believing him, but Scotty says it’s like the chicken or the egg, and wants to know what Franco was doing that night.

Elizabeth tells Laura that she heard about Charlotte being her granddaughter. Laura says as far as Lulu is concerned, the custody hearing can’t happen fast enough. Elizabeth says if she needs any help, to let her know. Laura says the boys seem convinced that Franco is going to be a big part of their lives, but she’s not getting the same vibe from Elizabeth.

Alexis tells Julian that she’s not staying while he stages a one-man intervention. Julian tells her she’s making a mistake.

Winston promises the boss that he’ll find Buzz, and says that if Buzz was going to the police, he would have done it already. He tells her that he has more bad news.

Buzz tells Jason and Curtis that he can’t reveal anything, but Curtis promises they won’t rat him out. Buzz tells them there’s a network of catacombs under Port Charles, and that’s how he gets in and out of the pawn shop without anyone seeing. He says Winston and the boss have a secret office in the tunnels.

Alexis asks if Julian is going to hold a knife to her throat to stop her. She says he’ll have to catch her first, and she’s pretty sure she can outrun a guy with a cane. He says she’s why he’s using the cane in the first place. D’oh! He asks her to just go twelve hours without a drink. She calls an Uber.

Elizabeth asks if Laura judges her, but Laura says that everyone is capable of doing good or harm, and good people can make wrong choices. She says everyone deserves a second chance, even Franco. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know the whole story.

Franco tells Scotty he was locked in a metal dog crate. Immediately Scotty thinks he and Elizabeth were getting freaky, but Franco explains that Tom put him there. Franco says it makes sense, since he put Tom in first. Now Scotty is going to think it’s even more freaky. Ha-ha!

Dillon tells Kiki if it was just a New Year’s Eve kiss, that’s cool. Kiki tells him that when he was sleeping, she started to think about her life. She’ll always feel guilty for Morgan’s death, but she can focus on it or turn it into something useful. She could volunteer at the hospital or go back to school and help people with mental issues. Dillon says Morgan would like that. Kiki still wants to shower, and says Dillon could order food while she’s in there. He suggests they shower together to save water, but that’s a no.

Winston tells the boss lady that Jason and Sam have become suspicious. The boss spills hot tea on him. Purposely.

Jason offers to set Buzz up out of town. Curtis says he has a friend in Baltimore and will let him know Buzz is coming, and Jason gives him some money to get there. Buzz tells them to watch their step; these people aren’t messing around. He leaves, and Jason asks Sam what she found out. She says Julian lied, telling her that he just buys stuff from Winston, but she could tell he’s scared. She also believes he has nothing to do with the car bomb.

Alexis tells Julian that he isn’t the worst part of her day. He tells her that she’s become dependent on alcohol or she’d take his challenge. He asks her to do it for her children and herself, for the career she wants back and her self-respect. She says he took her self-respect from her. He agrees, and says if she’s broken, he understands it’s his fault and that her only comfort is in a bottle. He says he owes it to her to save her life. She says save her or kill her, pick one. He says she has a lot to process right now, and she tells him not to patronize her. He says he’s not, but understands wanting to block the rest of the world out. Alexis flashes back to Tom again. She struggles with him and he throws her down. He tells her if she does it again, she’s dead, and pulls out the knife. In the present, Alexis goes to the door, and Julian says if she leaves he’s staging a real intervention.

Elizabeth tells Laura about Tom’s parole and how the police suspect Franco of his murder.

Scotty tells Franco it’s false imprisonment. Franco says he was just keeping Tom until after his parole meeting. Scotty says that’s OCD thinking, and Franco says he came to his senses, but then Tom turned the tables on him. Scotty says he believes him, but his alibi could put him in prison. Franco says his only hope is finding the real killer. He tells Scotty what the bartender told him. Scotty wonders if he greases the bartender more, if he’d talk more. Scotty says he has bupkis, but Franco says he also ran into Alexis at the bar.

Sam tells Jason and Curtis that Julian seemed genuinely scared of Winston, and she thinks he’s afraid for them. She thinks Julian was the target, and Winston was responsible for Morgan’s death. They wonder who the boss is.

Winston is like it’s all good, and tells lady boss that he’ll take care of Jason.

Alexis dismisses the Uber and goes back in. She tells Julian that her friends and family would never listen to him. He asks why she didn’t leave then. She says Sam is pregnant and it would stress her out, but Julian says it’s more stressful to have a drunk as a mother. He tells her that it’s only a matter of time before they find out. He says she’s lost her license and isolated herself; how long before she has nobody? Alexis says he should know. Julian wishes she could be the independent woman he fell in love with. He says she’s so desperate, she can’t help herself, much less anyone else. She says he wants her to be drunk so he can keep control. He tells her that she’s not just losing the people she knows, but the entire world; all the people she’s helped or would be able to help will be deprived of their champion.

Franco tells Scotty that Alexis made up an excuse for being at the bar, but she was beyond nervous. Scotty says she’s been off since Julian’s trial, and they need to find out who the woman was who Tom was drinking with. Franco asks to borrow Scotty’s tablet, and they have an amusing conversation about Facebook. Scotty gets an alert that the fingerprint analysis is back.

Jason asks if Julian mentioned who Winston might be working for, but Sam says no, and reiterates that he seemed scared. Curtis and Jason decide to go to the pawn shop via the tunnels. Sam Is hesitant, but Jason says that now she and the kids are in danger, and Curtis says if they’re smart, they won’t be risking their lives.

Kiki and Dillon chow down on Italian, Mexican and Chinese food. They kiss. Geez, I didn’t even get a warning.

Elizabeth tells Laura that maybe she’s being naïve, but she believes Franco. Even if he didn’t kill Tom though, he carried out his own brand of justice. She says he fixed it, but Tom turned up dead. Laura asks if she can live with what Franco did do. Elizabeth says she can, but he’s pulled away. Until the real murderer is found, he wants to keep his distance. Her heart wants to stay by his side, but her head says that’s crazy. Laura says they’re all flawed people and only she can decide if the good in Franco outweighs the bad.

There are no fingerprints on the knife. Franco says that doesn’t exactly clear him, but seems more upset that Scotty hasn’t friended him. Franco suggests he look for the hashtag of the roadhouse, thinking there might be photos that include Tom and the mystery woman.

Julian has gotten a load of DVDs and food to distract Alexis. He hands her a knife, and she flashes back again. She tells Tom that he isn’t the first guy who’s held a knife to her throat, and gets the knife from him, saying he messed with the wrong person. Back at the house, Alexis freaks out, saying she needs a drink. Julian asks what’s wrong, and she wails about what she’s done.

Curtis and Jason lurk around the tunnels and open a door.

There’s a knock at Kiki’s door, and she thinks it must be dessert. Instead, it’s Elizabeth looking for Franco. Kiki says she just got in, but he’s not there. She says she’ll tell Franco that Elizabeth came by, but Elizabeth wants to surprise him. When she’s gone, Dillon tells Kiki that it’s the same dance they’ve been doing for months, and it’s the fear of jumping into a relationship. He says they should wait for what happens next; no pressure.

Scotty can’t find any pictures from December 21st. He thinks they should wait and find another server who might know something. Franco sees a picture where Tom and Alexis are sitting together at a booth in the background.

Alexis tells Julian that she was outside of the roadhouse. She was drunk and did something. She killed someone.

Tomorrow, Diane asks Sonny what he knows, a fire starts in the tunnels, and Alexis confesses to Julian.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh, I get it. The reason there’s a two-hour show on tonight is because they’re introducing Stassi’s new one, Summer House. It looks like they’ll probably slide into it the way they did with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills slipping into Vanderpump Rules with the latter’s first episode.

Stassi is amazed that she’s not hung over and feeling “chipper.” Who uses that word? Maybe Kathy Gifford. Stassi and Katie discuss the night before. In her interview, Stassi says she’s not ready for another relationship, but wouldn’t mind a guy to distract her from the breakup with Patrick, who she was with for two years. They talk about how to approach a new guy.

Meanwhile, at Sonoma Raceway, the RV is starting to smell on day two. Ariana says they’re barely clinging to their humanity. Geez, two days out of LA and it’s Lord of the Flies. Brittany tells Jax that he’s making her insane. How this is different from their everyday life, I’m not sure. In his interview, Schwartz says that Jax and Brittany need a time out. He tries to take pix of Jax while he’s in the shower. Tom suggests that Jax might want to stop picking on Brittany before he finds himself single again.

In her interview, Kristen says she’s heard that Montauk is WASP-y, and since wasps suck, she hopes Montauk doesn’t suck. She’s not joking either. Is LA this out of touch with the rest of the world, or is she really this stupid? Stassi has to look up clambake, so they understand the difference between that and a luau. I repeat my previous question. Scheana asks what if they don’t like clams, and is told to take one for the team.

Ariana’s group is ready for the NASCAR race, and Tom gets some autographs. The only racing guy I know is Jeff Gordon, but I don’t think he even races anymore. Schwartz takes a poll as to which of the girls are willing to flash their boobs, and Jax points out for the billionth time that he paid for Brittany’s. Ariana suggests she find a new boyfriend. That’s got my vote.

Stassi and Katie lounge on the porch, and Stassi says they look like an old married couple. Katie has gotten some texts from Lisa and gives her a call. Lisa gives Katie a list of things that they need to work on, but tells her they can meet when Katie gets back. Katie is a little annoyed that Lisa didn’t wish her a happy birthday. Well, Lisa is at work.

Tom and Ariana kiss on the Ferris Wheel, while Jax harasses them. Ariana says it’s the best trip ever, and too bad for Lala who couldn’t be bothered to make it.

The clambake happens, but it’s not like the one in Oklahoma! There are linens on the table, everyone is dressed like they’re going not to the beach, and they’re sipping white wine. Stassi is glad for the well-dressed, attractive men who aren’t like the ones she met at the bar last night. Scheana informs everyone that she doesn’t really eat fish, but it doesn’t matter because someone just brought out a magnum of rosé. Everyone wonders how to eat a lobster. Some guy takes a selfie with a lobster. In her interview, Scheana says she’s not eating anything with claws because a cat has claws, and she wouldn’t eat a cat. Sigh…  Stassi is embarrassed about Scheana’s whining. I’m embarrassed about Scheana period.

Ariana and company watch the race. They have VIP tickets, so the view is pretty good. I’d call it a bird’s-eye view, but that sounds like the one I had at the Elton John concert in 1970whatever, when I had to sit in mountain goat territory. Tom calls to get the toilet tank flushed out and the guys sing a song about saving poop, making me eternally glad that I don’t know these people. Schwartz thinks it’s Jax’s fault for his excessive use of toilet paper. In her interview, Brittany says Jax needs to grow up and respect her. Good luck with that. And for those who don’t know this, when I say that, what I really mean is, all the luck in the world won’t save you.

Small talk is made at the clambake. Somebody gets nosy, asking Stassi about her breakup, but she really doesn’t want to cry. In her interview, she says it’s extra hard because her family and friends like Patrick, and she usually dates a-holes. Katie thinks Stassi needs some tough love, even if it’s just going to second base. Stassi thinks they should have perhaps gotten real careers. One of the guys makes fun of her for being on a dating app, although I’m not sure why. Isn’t that how people date now? They toast to being in Montauk.

If I have to see Jax’s butt crack one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind. The group goes out to eat, and I am loving Ariana’s earrings. They’re huge crescents with leaf-shaped rhinestones in various shades of green attached to them. Tom calls Jax an a-hole, and asks Brittany how she feels about him ordering her around, but he says he supports her lifestyle and no one can tell him how to deal with his relationship. Tom tells him gifts aren’t leverage. Jax thinks he’d love being in Brittany’s place. I guess he must like being embarrassed. Brittany is feeling stupid, but Tom tells her nothing Jax says is making her look bad. In his interview, Jax says when he started dating Brittany, he loved that she wasn’t from LA, but she seems to be adapting and he doesn’t like it. Hmm… By that, I assume he means she has independent thoughts. To be honest, I get what he’s saying about supporting her. When one person is paying all the bills, the other one needs to pinch in the other departments like cleaning and cooking, but it’s his delivery that’s obnoxious, and it doesn’t mean you can demand whatever whenever. He might need to learn the hard way that his POV is not acceptable.

Ariana tells everyone that Lala isn’t following her on social media anymore, and wonders why she’s being iced out. She says she can be a bitch too and unfollows Lala. Oh. Horrors. Schwartz says a line has been drawn in the sand. Not one episode of this show goes by without me thinking about how much more mature my friends and I were at this age. Is technology the problem? All of the above?

In her interview, Lala talks about herself in the third person, and says she was in shut-down mode. Harrison! Lisa tells Lala she can do what she wants with her time off, but she doesn’t get why Lala didn’t show up for Ariana’s birthday. Lala makes noises about Jax being irritating, although she knew that before. Lisa reads my mind and wonders why Lala said she’d go in the first place. Lala starts to cry, telling Lisa that everyone is saying she’s a homewrecker. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t know if it’s true – she hopes not – but Lala should have more respect for herself. Lala says she makes stuff up about her boyfriend to get them off her back and give them something to talk about. One day she’s dating the pope and the next, a baseball player. She thinks of it as an acting exercise. Lisa explains that when someone is caught in a lie, no one knows how much to invest in them. In her interview, Lisa says Lala likes to create a situation, but then act like a baby girl, and life doesn’t work like that. Lala says she thinks it might be best for her to walk away from “this workplace.” Because actually telling the truth and dealing with real life is too hard.

Lisa asks what’s wrong with her, and thinks she should grow up and deal with it. Thank you, Lisa the Amazing Kreskin of Beverly Hills. She asks if Lala thinks everyone is going to be her friend if she ends up being successful in films. Lala admits that she’s in charge of her own emotions. Lisa tells Lala that if she quits, she’s going to give a lot of people satisfaction. Lala wishes they’d had this conversation a while ago, and Lisa thinks Lala should have had this conversation with her mother long ago. In her interview, Lala says that Lisa makes sense and decides not to quit yet.

Stassi’s name has to be explained to empty-headed, but good-looking Kyle. The girls visit the twins’ rental house. They claim it’s like going to Lisa’s, but hardly. It’s big, but could probably fit in Lisa’s bathroom. Everyone gets a drink and the twins (Ashley and Lauren) show them around. In her interview, Kristen says maybe she’s in the wrong business. Maybe she should be in…business. I’m not kidding. She really said that. Kyle drinks directly from the blender, and tells Carl that he likes Stassi.

Ariana and Brittany rehash Jax’s remarks. Ariana has to explain what misogynistic means to Brittany. The absolute definition is Jax. The guys build a fire outside, and Ariana asks Brittany what she’s going to do if Jax doesn’t change.

Commercial break. Giggy! RHOBH looks really good this week. Game night, including Kim Richards. Duck, run, and then look through your fingers like it’s a horror film.

It’s time to get in the pool in Montauk. Along with more drinking. Ashley lets Stassi know that Kyle is interested in her.

In Sonoma, Jax asks Brittany if she’s having fun. She tells him that she is, other than his ‘tude, which she doesn’t appreciate, but he thinks she’s exaggerating. In his interview, he says he pays for everything, so it would be nice to have lunch ready sometimes. Brittany tells him that she’s tired of him holding her boob job over her head, and says she does a lot for him too. She says she appreciates what he does for her, but that doesn’t mean he can just do or say whatever he wants. He says he’ll try harder, but the occasional turkey sandwich would be nice.

Kyle is pretty sh*tfaced, and tells Stassi he appreciates her New York fashion. She’s wearing a white bathing suit that has a turtleneck type collar, and her hair in an Audrey Hepburn updo. Katie says Stassi should ask herself what would Lala do? More drinks happen in the kitchen. Tequila Katie arrives (i.e. Katie’s other personality when she drinks too much). Scheana worries that Schwartz isn’t there to put Tequila Katie in her place. Whatever that means. Lots of confusing statements today.

Kyle and Stassi are still in the pool. He tells her that she’s “well put together.” He asks if she’s single, and she says for about a week. He suggests they embrace it. We flash back to how very much liquor this dude has put away. He asks Stassi what her name is again. He says something about her being female and hot, but a turtleneck and Steve Jobs are involved. I have no idea where this conversation is going. Stassi wants to give him lessons on how to make a girl feel special, one of which is not telling them they’re like Steve Jobs in a turtleneck. He says something about her nipple and it all goes south quickly.

Everyone gets back in the pool, and there are too many people to keep track of. Stassi tells the girls that she’s never been more turned off by anyone in her life. Kyle shoves chips in his mouth. The twins say he’s a good guy, but an idiot when he’s drunk. Stassi says he made her want to call her ex. Well, that certainly backfired. Kyle jumps into the pool.

Everyone goes back inside, and Kristen tries to find out what the blip Kyle said to Stassi. One of the other guys explains that when Kyle drinks, he does slow moves and a lot of pointing, like a Ken doll doing tai chi under water. Kyle apologizes to Stassi, and she basically calls him a douche. She suggests he remember a girl’s name if he wants to get lucky. She asks him what her name is, and he can’t come up with it. The SUR girls go back to their own place. Kyle says even though he struck out, he’s learned that after 12 glasses of rosé, he should probably STFU. No argument from me. He eats watermelon alone in the kitchen.

Omg! Omg! An infinity pool! I want to swim in one so badly. The next day, everyone wakes up with a hangover, and some of them have to drive home because they have “real” jobs. As opposed to Steve Jobs. We seem to have swung into the next show.

Blah-blah-blah, NYC, hot and smelly in the summer.

⛱ Obviously, my jury is still out on Summer House, but I have the feeling that my opinion is going to be, meh, and a waste of time. I already think Kyle is a total d-bag and when Stassi is the best thing about a show, that’s just sad. I’ll be watching, but not so sure I’ll be recapping.

Okay, after watching almost the entire first episode, the whole thing is just sad. And no permanent Stassi. Just the twins, that moron Kyle, and whoever else the other interchangeable people are. Unless some Vanderpump fixtures join the cast, this is going to be a if-there’s-nothing-better-on show.

🌃 The good news is, Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce begins it’s new season on Wednesday, January 11, at 10 pm. This is also the birthday of six of my dogs, who will be ten this year!

Juliet&HerBabies

👠 Just some thoughts on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I feel sad that Kenya’s relationship with Matt ultimately didn’t work out, but better to find out what he’s like now. Phaedra, wtf, talking so much smack about Kandi? And here comes Porsha to add her own definition of things by telling Kandi she’s becoming “unleashed” about it. Um…I think the word is unhinged. Alhtough I’m not sure why I always expect more from someone who thought the Underground Railroad was a real railroad.

Sheree continues to tease Bob, meeting him for some kind of extreme workout that neither one of them could seem to accomplish. Cynthia graciously went to an event of Peter’s, and he described her as looking like “an ice cream cone,” driving him crazy with her va-va-voom. As much as I can’t stand Peter, I had to agree with him. She looked like she’d been poured into a gorgeous white dress, and totally delicious! Unfortunately, Kenya was also attending, and Matt ambushed her, punching her driver and then taking off. Not cool. Next week, it doesn’t look much better, with Matt busting out some windows in Kenya’s new home. Looks like it’s restraining order time. In her interview, Kenya cried, saying what a shame it was when Matt had such potential. My heart broke for her. I like Kenya and I have every confidence that she’ll eventually find the right guy. But in the meantime, there’s those frogs to deal with.

And why do they advertise next week’s new episode when we’re not done with this week’s episode yet?

Dec15

December 14, 2016 – Griff Confirms Lulu’s Motherhood & Some Random Notes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sam visits Maxie at the office. She’s in her third trimester. That was fast. Maxie is going to throw her the baby shower to end all baby showers.

Lulu asks Griff if Valentin was telling the truth.

Ava sets Julian up in the penthouse. She’s glad he’s still in the land of the living. Alexis shows up, and Ava tells her not to wander around, poking in her things. Alexis says she’s not interested in Ava’s things. Ava says she doesn’t agree with Alexis being Julian’s caretaker and is keeping an eye on her. Ava suggests Bloody Marys, but Alexis says that she’ll not only put Julian in a coma, it’s pretty early for cocktails, which is pretty funny coming from her.

Nell brings a box of ornaments over to Sonny’s. She says she’s glad that he and Carly are on better terms.

At the MetroCourt, Curtis tells Jason that everything in the bag could have been used to make the bomb. Jason says too bad it was wiped clean. Curtis isn’t happy about what he had to do to get it, but Jason says it might have told them more than he realized. Carly brings them coffee. She asks Jason again what’s going on, telling him he’s distant. He flashes back to Sonny’s confession about Nell. Carly asks if something has happened.

Ava says she was just talking about a small celebratory toast. She suggests that Alexis use her self-righteous indignation to help find the person who hit Julian. Alexis reiterates that if she mixes the pain meds with alcohol, she could kill Julian, and tells her to read the medical instructions. She bypasses the vodka bottle and goes into the hallway. She says she can’t do this, but if she doesn’t, she’ll lose her license. She repeats this mantra as she pours a vodka nip into her takeout coffee.

Nell asks if Sonny wants her to help hang the ornaments. Sonny says Carly loves Christmas. She was raised by an adoptive mother and when she had a family of her own, she wanted to do it right. Sonny says they’ve spent a lot of Christmases together and Nell says looks like they’ll be spending another one this year.

Curtis says Carly just caught them at a bad time. She tells Jason she’ll see him later, reminding him that this time of year should be spent with family and friends. She leans over and tells him if something is wrong, she’s going to figure it out. Curtis asks Jason what’s up, and he says maybe they’ve been going about it all wrong. Maybe the bag itself has what they need on it.

Griff says they’ll have answers yet, but they will soon. He says this is one for the record books. Lulu thanks him for trying to protect Charlotte from Valentin. He says no matter what, the back and forth has to end. The tests are being conducted blindly by two separate groups.

Sam tells Maxie she doesn’t have to throw her a shower. Maxie promises she’ll like it when she gets all the presents. She says it’s also for Sam, since she thought she couldn’t have any more children. Sam says she was blown away when Finn told her. Maxie says everyone is thrilled. Sam drops her purse and an envelope falls out. Maxie asks what it is and Sam says it’s a secret from Dr. Lee.

Alexis flashes back on the accident, and I laugh one more time at Julian flying up in the air. She says she just needs to get through this and has more “coffee.”

Julian tells Ava that he doesn’t want to be referee, and to stop taking pot shots at Alexis. Ava says he should call the police, and he repeats it was an accident. She says he must have more on Alexis than he’s saying. Everyone has a blind spot, and his is Alexis. She asks him to please let her help him and tell her what’s really going on.

Alexis chugs her coffee and goes back in. Julian is sleeping. Ava says that Alexis might have Julian fooled, but she knows the truth.

Curtis says if there’s more dumpster diving, Jason is on his own. Jason says maybe they can find out where the bag came from. Curtis is pretty sure every Chinese food place in the country has the same bag, but there’s an address on it, and Jason says it’s worth a shot. Curtis says okay, but no more dumpsters.

Nell asks Sonny if he’s okay with her doing this. Trimming the tree is a family thing and if Carly finds out what happened between them… Sonny says she won’t. Nell says it will stay between them. Carly comes in and says the tree looks beautiful. She starts to put on ornaments and asks Sonny if he wants to help. He tells her she does a great job, but she says that sounds like an excuse to stand around and do nothing. I’m totally with her on this, as my husband does the same thing to me, telling me how good I am at something he doesn’t feel like doing. She hands Sonny an angel.

Alexis says she doesn’t know what Ava is talking about, and is too tired to decode her rants. Ava says that Alexis thinks she covered her tracks, but she knows why Alexis is there. Alexis says vague accusations only work in old detective novels. Ava says okay, you ran over my brother. She says Julian told her. Julian wakes up.

Carly goes down Memory Lane with the ornaments. Her phone rings. It’s someone from Atlanta. She says yes, Nell is her assistant. She asks Sonny if he wrote a recommendation for Nell to get a job in Atlanta.

Jason and Curtis go to the Chinese food place. But it’s a pawn shop. Jason asks the proprietor if it used to be a Chinese restaurant, and he says it closed a while ago. He asks if either one of them would like jewelry for their ladies. Jason asks if the guy could look at some photos. He shows him Julian’s picture, but he doesn’t recognize him. He shows more pictures, and also the tools they found in the bag, but it’s a no. The guy says he does recognize the bag though.

Sam explains that the doctor wrote down the sex of the baby, but she and Jason don’t want to know. Maxie tells her that’s old-fashioned. She says if Sam didn’t want to know, she wouldn’t be carrying it around. She tells Sam about how she named Georgie early and talked to her. She asks Sam how she’s going to decorate the baby’s room and what about Danny? Sam says he’s curious about Scout, and wanted a puppy, but is settling for a sibling. She says they’ll know when the time is right. Sam goes to take a call and Maxie brings out the envelope again.

Lulu thanks Dante for coming with her to the hospital. She says she knows how much he loves her, but also knows it’s hard on him in a different way, since she had a daughter with another man. She says despite Helena, Charlotte is innocent. Dante says Claudette is a liar, and Valentin hasn’t been forthcoming, so they’ll have to wait for the results to know for sure. Griff comes back out.

The pawn shop guy says tons of the bags were left behind, so he uses them. Jason thinks the tools might have been bought there, but the guy doesn’t recall selling them. Curtis asks to look at a watch while Jason wanders around. Jason says they might have something.

Carly says Nell works for her and made no mention of going back to Atlanta. She says she wants to discuss it with Nell before she talks to them about her. She hangs up and says Nell has a well-paying teaching job thanks to Sonny. She wants to know what’s going on and why no one talked to her. Nell says it’s just a misunderstanding. She was talking about being a teacher in the future, but Sonny thought she meant now. She says Sonny wanted to do something for her because she’s been so helpful to Carly, but she’s not going. Carly doesn’t want her to give up on her dream. Nell thanks her, but says she already feels like this is her real home. Cut to Sonny who does not look happy.

Griff tells Lulu she’s Charlotte’s mother. Dante asks if Valentin is the father for sure, and Griff says without question. Lulu says it’s like a dream, but it’s real. The man who killed her brother, the man who she hates so much, is the reason she has a daughter.

Ava tells Alexis she belongs behind bars. She asks if Alexis is so worried about getting her precious license back that she’d actually take care of Julian. Ava says she’s shocked that with all her self-righteousness, Alexis didn’t cop to it immediately. Julian tells her to stop it, and says everything stays between them. Alexis says she showed bad judgement, but the bottom line is that she has to stay with Julian until he’s convalesced, and that’s what she’s doing. Ava says there’s something about the night Alexis isn’t telling them, otherwise it makes no sense. Alexis says she’s going to the store. Ava tries to stop her, and the bottle falls out of her purse.

Nell says she loves the kids, but she finds working for Carly more interesting. She talks about going with Michael to the gala, and how he changed his outfit for her. Carly tells Sonny that Michael is thoughtful; her, not so much lately. Sonny says it’s time to move on, and he’s looking forward to Christmas together with the family.

Jason says the tool set seems to be missing a tool. The guy says it’s a pawn shop and not everything comes with a full set. Jason says it’s curious how a homeless man ended up with one of the bags. Pawn shop guy says he could have gotten the bag from anywhere, and he doesn’t recognize the photo. Jason takes the wire clippers out of his bag, and they fit in the empty spot in the took kit.

Sam thanks Maxie for the offer, but Maxie is insistent and Sam realizes she just wants to throw a party. She tells her no baby shower games, and goes down in the elevator. Maxie says there will be a surprise and she knows just what to do with this (meaning the envelope, which she still has).

Ava says Alexis was drinking that night, but Alexis says she collects them when she flies. Ava says she’s endlessly judging, but the truth is, she drove drunk. She says Julian might be willing to enable her, but she isn’t. She’s going to cops and telling them the truth. She can’t wait to see Alexis in prison.

Lulu is aghast that she shares a child with Valentin. Dante says they have to prepare for a custody battle. Griff says Charlotte is lucky to have Lulu as a mother, and goes back to work. Dante tries to get ahold of Diane. Lulu says before they call, she needs to know about them. She says whenever they’ve talked about the embryo, it’s been hypothetical, but it’s not anymore. She wants to know if he’s with her in this, and if he can love Charlotte like a father.

Carly doesn’t want to jinx anything, but thinks she and Sonny have a shot at making this Christmas about love and honoring Morgan. Avery cries and Carly goes upstairs.

Pawn shop guy doesn’t know what to tell them. Jason says he hasn’t told them anything, but they’re not leaving until he does. Curtis says he’s told them a bunch of lies, but he’s easy-going and can look past it. Jason can’t though. Jason says the wire cutters were involved in a serious crime, and someone he loved died. He suggests that if the guy doesn’t want to join that person, he start telling them what they need to know. A security camera films the exchange.

Tomorrow, Olivia talks to Dante about his pending fatherhood, Nina asks why Valentin is lying to her, and Jordan visits Julian.

⛴ Sad news – there will be no Below Deck reunion this season.

🏖 Good news? Ah-ha! Now I see why those twins made friends with Stassi, and we saw them on Vanderpump Rules. A new show is coming up called Summer House. Stassi is barely in the commercials, but I saw her, and the twins are more prominently featured. It looks like The Real World with people ten years older. While I can somewhat excuse the hot tub drunken sex behavior on The Real World considering the age of the participants, this looks very unattractive. I also heard that the town of Montauk is not happy. Apparently, they’re making it sound like Montauk is a party town when the house isn’t even located there. Nobody wants another Jersey Shore on their hands.