Tag Archives: Sweet Home Oklahoma

October 4, 2018 – Ava Gets Analyzed, Shah Repeat, Oklahoma Reboot, No Fresh Kitchen & Fun in the Apocalypse

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly comes downstairs and tells Jason that Mike is playing with Avery. Jason asks if he’s told her anything else. She says, about the gun or Croton? No. Jason wonders if Mike remembers what he told them. Carly asks what they should do, and he says, wait for Sonny. If Mike doesn’t tell him, one of them will. Carly thinks it should be Mike. It will help give Sonny closure. The house phone rings. At first, Carly says, tell her he’s not here, but then changes it to, send her up. Jason asks if it’s the DA, and she says, worse. She opens the door to Ava. She asks what Ava wants, and Ava says, her daughter of course.

Kristina comes downstairs, and Sam says, that’s the sister she knows, who stays out late like she sleeps in. She asks Kristina how the concert was, and Kristina says she doesn’t want to know.

Nina tells Maxie that she was right the whole time. Her daughter is alive. Maxie asks her to stop doing this, but Nina says she has proof. Her daughter is alive.

Peter sees Griff hitting the bag at the gym. Peter asks if that’s how he should treat a surgeon’s hands, but Griff says he doesn’t have to worry about doing any surgery. Peter says he heard Griff was suspended. Griff tells him it’s because of the unauthorized DNA test he ran on Peter.

Finn walks into the examining room to find his father with Chase. Gregory says he finally has his two boys to himself.

Not-Doc tells Felicia he’s grateful to get her all to himself. She says, what a coincidence. She was dying for some one-on-one time with him. She couldn’t talk at lunch with Lucy hovering. He tells her, nothing happened. Nobody died, and his marriage is safe. He asks what she wanted to talk about, and she says, about Ryan. What happened was horrible, but they have no reason to hide. They can be honest, and not sugarcoat. He agrees, and she can’t remember the last time they discussed it. He buried his brother literally, and buried him inside; it’s like pulling teeth. He doesn’t think they need to resort to creative dentistry just yet. She says they’re the only ones who really know what a horror show he was, and can tell the gruesome truth.

Maxie asks who told Nina that her daughter was alive. Nina says, Valentin, and Maxie makes a disgusted sound. Nina says he spoke to her mother. She said Nina had the baby, and didn’t miscarry. Her mother was afraid her baby girl would get her inheritance, and arranged for a black market adoption. Maxie tells her that Valentin specializes in lies, but Nina says, he’s not the one who found her. It was Curtis. He loves her, and would never lie. Maxie asks if he actually met her. Nina says, not only that; he had a DNA test run, and the test confirmed it. She shows Maxie the picture of Sasha.

Peter tells Griff, for what it’s worth, the hospital didn’t find out from him. Griff says he didn’t think so. He knows who did, and it doesn’t matter. It was illegal, immoral, and unethical. Peter says, and it didn’t even feel good. His sad attempt at a joke. Griff says he’s a bad audience right now. He did what he could, and he’s grateful Anna was okay with it. Peter tells him that Anna got a lead on Obrecht. Griff knows, and says Anna isn’t stopping until she knows he’s safe.

Ava has brought Avery’s ballet things, since she has class today. Carly says Avery is in a meeting and not taking visitors. She’s hosting an important tea party with her grandfather. Ava hopes not alone, and Carly says she’ll never know, and thanks her for dropping by. Jason says he’ll walk her out, and Ava asks if he realizes if it wasn’t for her, he’d be a zombie in Russia or dead. Carly wants to hear how she saved him again, and Jason says she gave him a paper clip. Ava says she gave him back to his family, and gave his family back to him. This is how he thanks her? He says he gave her the formula to get her face back. She says, his life and her face makes them even? Jason says Morgan was his godson, and they’ll never be even. She snarks about what a wholesome environment Sonny maintains for Avery, and Carly tells Jason to go. She’s looking forward to catching up with Ava. He leaves, and Carly says she’s impressed by Ava’s composure. It must be tough that the whole town knows Griff dumped her for Kiki.

Maxie asks Nina how Curtis found her daughter, and Nina says, lawyers, black market adoptions and channels.  She was raised by a single mom, and her mom has passed on. Maxie says it can’t be confirmed then. Nina tells her that Curtis said Sasha didn’t want to believe it, but he talked into a DNA test. He had it done at two different labs, and just got a confirm on the second. Sasha is her daughter. Maxie is happy for her, and asks when Nina is meeting her. Nina says, that’s not happening.

Not-Doc appreciates Felicia’s concern, but all this talk has had little affect on him. She asks how that’s possible. She’s been swamped with interview requests. He’s Ryan’s twin. Why wouldn’t they be more curious about him? He says he’s counting it as a blessing, and leaving it at that. He’ll be fine. She says he wasn’t fine for years. Has he forgotten about his breakdown He says, of course not, but it was a long time ago. He doesn’t live in that headspace anymore. Felicia wants to make sure he’s taking care of himself, and has a way to protect them both.

Gregory says he’s surprised Finn became a doctor. He didn’t like messy, and even cleaned his utensils a second time before eating. Chase says suggests the talk about Gregory. Gregory says he’s been to countless doctors. One suggested he had MS, but MS doesn’t disappear when you take antibiotics. Finn asks if antibiotics help, and Gregory says, temporarily. He tells Chase not to worry. The one thing his brother hates worse than him is failure. Finn says he doesn’t hate him, and Chase suggests Finn channel his energy into figuring out what’s wrong with Gregory.

Jason visits Sam. He asks how Kristina is, and she thanks him again for saving her life. He’s just glad she’s okay. She says maybe not okay, but she’s working on it. She has to leave, and tells Sam, feel free to make use of the privacy. Sam rushes her out.

Carly tells Ava that she’s a bit baffled as to why she put Griff on the stand. A woman as insecure as she is, letting the public know sleeping with her daughter. It’s not first time. All of Ava’s men prefer Kiki. Ava puts Avery’s backpack on the couch, and says she’ll expect Avery at the regular time tomorrow. Carly says Avery won’t be with her tomorrow. She’ll be with her family.

Maxie says Nina just found out her child is alive and well. Nina has seen her picture and knows her name, and she’s not going to contact her? Nina says, she’s not a baby; she’s grown. She doesn’t want to rip Sasha’s life away. Maxie says that makes sense, but she already knows. Won’t she want the test results? Nina says she did it thinking she’d prove she wasn’t Nina’s daughter. It isn’t always a slam dunk. Look at Peter and Anna. Maxie says, and if Nina doesn’t meet Sasha, Sasha has no chance to reject her. Might that be it?

Peter asks Griff if he’d consider working for him. Griff asks if he means as a personal physician, but Peter says, every good paper has a medical editor. He’s trying to turn The Invader into a good paper. Griff tells Peter not to take it the wrong way, but he hopes it doesn’t come to that. If it ever does, he’ll keep it in mind. He asks if Peter ever found closure. After everything that was done to him, did he find peace? Peter says, no. He did want revenge on his father, and got it, but it cost too much. Not just for him, but the people he used along the way. Peter leaves. Kiki has been listening, and looks at Griff.

Not-Doc asks how Felicia is going to protect them, and from whom? She says, the tabloids and Ryan Chamberlain groupies. They can issue a joint press release. Just a few lines, distancing themselves. One statement; their only response. Let the vultures feast elsewhere. Not-Doc asks what if they took the opportunity to guide the press? Tell the story accurately and with compassion. Felicia asks, for Ryan or the victims? and he says, everybody. She knows he believes Ryan could have been rehabilitated, but he was a monster the public wants to bring back from the dead. They can tell the truth, short and sweet, and end his notoriety and legend once and for all. Not-Doc says, all right; let’s do it. They’ll get together, and sort it out. He’ll page her. She asks if they’re back in the 90s. Not-Doc guesses the topic has put him in a time warp; he’ll text her. They’ll find someplace quiet and private, where they can think. She tells him to let her know when and where, and she’ll be there. It will be over soon; he’ll see. When she’s gone, he says, sooner than you think, Felicia.

Ava tells Carly the custody agreement is clear. If Sonny doesn’t abide by it, she’ll notify the court. Carly says the family will all line up in support of Sonny, including Kiki. She knows Ava banned Kiki from seeing Avery, and Kiki will point out her vindictive parenting style. Ava asks what’s so important about tomorrow, and Carly isn’t surprised she doesn’t remember. It’s the anniversary of Morgan’s death. Avery will be there to hear about the brother she no longer remembers. One day, Sonny will explain how Ava stole his medication and his sanity. She may as well have put him in the car. Ava says she didn’t know that would happen, and Carly says her son is dead because of Ava. Get the hell out of her house.

Nina insists she’s not afraid to meet her daughter, but her daughter might not want to meet or deal with her. Maxie can’t imagine she’d want to miss the opportunity. Peter walks in, saying he wanted to make sure Nina knew Anna was on a hunt for Obrecht. Maxie says she told Nina, like she said she would. Nina says, since he’s there, she’d like his take on something – for a friend. Her friend had to give a baby up for adoption years ago. She thought about her child all the time, and found out where she was as a grown woman, and she didn’t know she’d been adopted. Peter says, that’s tough. Nina says her friend is desperate to meet her daughter, but doesn’t want to disrupt her life. Nina wants to know his opinion. Should her friend try to have a relationship with her daughter?

Finn tells Gregory that he doesn’t think it’s life-threatening. He’s running some tests. If he’s right, they’ll figure out a course of treatment. Gregory says, as bad as it’s been, he’s happy to finally know. He’s tired of running in circles. Chase asks if there’s anything he can do, and Gregory says, join him for dinner. How about the three of them? Finn says his cases are backed up, but Gregory says, there are plenty of days ahead; pick one. Finn leaves to check on the test. Chase follows him out, and says, it’s just dinner. Finn says Chase asked him to treat their dad, and he will to the best of his ability. Chase needs to accept that’s as far as it goes.

Not-Doc is staring at Felicia’s picture on his computer, when Ava comes in. He says it’s a pleasant surprise, and she tells him, pleasant remains to be seen. He laughs, and says he has time if she’d like to talk. She says she’d like that very much, and sits down. He says she seems upset. Is it anything in particular? She tells him that she tried her hand at redemption and failed miserably. Was she wrong to want it in the first place? He says, go on. She says she did the honorable, moral, and right things, and was treated like dirt for sins she’d committed before trying to be better. He asks how she tried, and she says a good man convinced her that loving him could change her; that a better life was possible. She had hope, until he and her daughter betrayed her; humiliated her in public and in private. All the good she thought was inside is gone. He asks what’s in its place, and she says, rage. She was going to say, nothing, that she was empty and hollow, but she’s filled to capacity with nothing but rage. She needs to do something with it; something to them. She needs them to hate her as much as she hates them. She asks how crazy she sounds, and he says the way she described what she’s feeling was masterful. She asks him to tell her how to fight against revenge.

Sam brings Danny in, saying she has a surprise for him. He hugs Jason, and Sam says Danny is studying families, and how they come in all kinds of packages. She says she’ll get some snacks, and Danny can show his dad the book he made. Jason reads from the book. Some families have a mommy and daddy, some only a mommy or a daddy, some have two mommies, or two daddies. Danny says, like Uncle Lucas and Uncle Brad. Jason continues, some mommies and daddies each have their own house. Danny says, just like our family. Jason tells him, that’s right. Just like our family.

Nina tells Peter that he doesn’t have to answer. Maxie says, what Nina is trying to ask is, would it do harm to a child who’s now an adult, if the mother gets in touch after all this time? Peter doesn’t want to assume too much, since he doesn’t know the situation. This is just his opinion. His relationship with his parents was both horrific and non-existent, but he believes if love is offered to a child, it’s the child’s choice to accept it. There are no guarantees, but her friend might have comfort in telling her daughter that she cared. Nina believes it would, and Maxie says she should tell her friend. Nina says she has to get back to work.

Outside Nina’s office, Peter tells Maxie that he doesn’t know how helpful he was. She says he spoke from his heart, and it was exactly the right thing.

Not-Doc tells Ava, she says what she feels is rage, but what he hears in her voice is fear. Ava says she’s a multitasker, and can do both. He laughs, and says her anger is like a forcefield. He hopes that’s not too nerdy. Her anger is protecting her from something on the outside, but also something deep inside. What does she need protection from? She tells him that she has a recurring dream. Shrinks love dreams, right? In her dream, her baby girl is all grown up. She follows and watches Ava, and tells Ava that she sees her as she really is. Not-Doc asks, how? Ava says, ugly, scarred. Not-Doc says, that’s not true. He’s looking at her, and she’s beautiful. She asks if he has any brilliant deductions. Is Avery telling her that she’ll never escape the past bad things she’s done? All the ways she’s compromised to survive? Are the scars on her soul, if not on her face? In a typical shrink response, he asks what she thinks, and she says she doesn’t know. He thinks she does.

Finn goes back in the examining room, and Gregory says Chase went out for coffee. Finn says, that wasn’t necessary, but Gregory thinks it was. He just wanted alone time with Finn once in twenty years. He likes Anna. She’s smart and funny; great qualities in a partner. He knows Finn suffered when Reiko died, like he suffered when Finn’s mom did. He tells Finn it’s possible to find happiness again. Now Finn has moved on. Can he forgive Gregory for doing the same?

Griff watches Kiki use free weights. She asks if he’s okay, and he says, not really. They said no apologies, but – Kiki says, no buts. They slept together. They’re two consenting adults. He didn’t seduce or take advantage of her. She’s tired of pretending they didn’t want to. He can convince himself that he took advantage of her, or that she was tipsy, but it would be a lie. She invited him to her room. He says he could have not gone. Kiki says she could have done a million things, but didn’t. She wanted to be with him. Like she does now. Woo-woo.

Finn writes a prescription, and tells Gregory it should help with the discomfort. Chase comes back, and Finn tells them to enjoy dinner. He leaves, and Chase wonders what the problem is. It has to be more than Gregory getting married. Gregory says he’s been asking himself that for years. Chase is a detective; figure it out.

Ava tells not-Doc that she wants revenge on her daughter and her lover, but if they suffer the way she wants them to, it proves them right; she’s a horrible, wicked woman. If she does nothing, she has to let them go on unscathed, unpunished. How does she learn to live with it? He says, those are good questions. To be honest, not everyone is capable of tackling them with candor. He commends her. She says, for wanting to destroy her own child and boyfriend? He did save her life once. Not-Doc asks if it didn’t balance the debt when he took up with her daughter. She asks if not-Doc is saying he deserves it, but he says that’s not for him to decide. She’s surprised he’s not lecturing her about her moral failings, and wanting the wrong things. He says it’s not his job to lecture. His job is to make her hear herself, so she can decide what’s right for her. She says he’s been extraordinarily helpful, and thanks him. She’d like to see him again, and he tells her to set up a regular appointment. They can explore the concept of revenge and satisfaction together.

Maxie tells Peter that she’d passed along the information about Obrecht to Nina. Peter days he thought she might have forgotten. She says Nina’s fugitive aunt being hunted down by his spy mother? It’s not something she’d forget. He starts to excuse himself, and she tells him that he doesn’t have to bolt when he sees her.

Nina leaves a voicemail for Sasha, introducing herself, and saying she thinks Sasha met her friend, Curtis Ashford. She’s Sasha’s biological mother.

Griff is about to kiss Kiki, and says, only if she promises – she interrupts him, saying, no apologies; no promises. They start kissing passionately.

Jason tells Danny that he did a great job on the book. He learned all about families. Danny says the teacher said families are made up of people who love each other. Jason says his teacher is right, and Danny asks if Jason loves mommy.

Tomorrow, Griff tells Kiki there’s nothing stopping them, Maxie wants to know why Peter is avoiding her, and Oscar doesn’t want to go back to school.

🍹 A new episode of The Shahs of Sunset will be back next week. Tonight, Bravo took a trip down Memory Lane with the Passport Edition, which was really a repeat of Asa and Reza’s pilgrimage to the Iranian border during the Shahs’ trip to Israel. Next week is also the season finale. That was fast.

🐮 Sweet Home Oklahoma – underrated, and one of my favorites – has been rebooted, and turned into Sweet Home, premiering Friday, November 2nd, at 10 pm. The same cast will still be around, but it will focus more on Jennifer Welch – whose ex, Josh, is the only man in the world I allow a man bun – and her interior design business. You can read about it here:

http://www.bravotv.com/people/jennifer-welch

🔥 Last week was so horrendous, I forgot to watch the Hell’s Kitchen: Rookies and Veterans premiere last Friday. I know I can catch it On Demand, but I like to watch the shows fresh. No surprise, it’s going to interfere with my viewing pleasure of Z Nation, which starts tomorrow. So, unfortunately, my Kitchen is going to be a little stale this season.

🎩 Speaking of Fresh…

 

 

 

August 7, 2017 – Ava Ventures Out, Peggy’s Lamborghini Reveal, Oklahoma Finale & Upcoming Shows

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Ava downs a martini, and looks at herself in a hand mirror. There’s a knock at the door. She tells them to go away, but it’s Kiki. Ava tries to get her to leave, but she won’t. Ava opens the door, and says Kiki has done her good deed now, she can go, but Kiki says she’s not going anywhere.

Hayden calls Finn saying she’s up to her ears in paint swatches and fabric samples, but she’s really at the prison seeing her father.

Sam dreams about shooting Sonny. She tells herself it has to be a dream. Finn asks if she’s ready for good news, but he can tell there’s something wrong.

Sonny also dreams about Sam shooting him. Jason sees Carly in the hallway. She asks why he still looks worried and he says that Sam can’t shake her bad dreams. Dante joins them, and says he has to follow up with Sonny. Everyone goes into Sonny’s room. Sonny tells them that he’s doped up and can’t feel his leg. Dante asks who shot him. For a guy who just had surgery and is supposed to be resting, there’s quite a crowd in there.

Kiki brought pizza, but Ava says she’ll have the guy at the liquor store drop off dinner. Kiki suggests a therapy group that Andre recommended, but Ava says it’s not going to change her face. Kiki asks how she’s going to heal inside if she doesn’t talk about it? She realizes that everyone is dealing with their own pain right now and doesn’t want to cause Ava any more, but thinks it will be a help. Ava says beauty comes from within, but it doesn’t change people flinching when they look at her. Kiki says she can still live her life. Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it won’t be worthwhile; the group will make her feel better. Ava says another martini will make her feel better. Kiki tells Ava that if she wants to keep punishing herself, she won’t stop her, but when Ava leaves the room, Kiki calls Griff. She says it seems like he’s the only one who can get through to her mother, and asks if he can come by. He agrees.

Raymond Berlin comes into the visitor room. Hayden says that she didn’t think he’d agree to see her. He says he didn’t think she needed to see her old man behind bars. She says one minute she had a father, and the next, she didn’t. She compares it to how he must have felt when he found out that her mother was unfaithful. Raymond says he did what he always does when he’s disappointed – put up a wall. Hayden asks what changed? He tells her that he had time to think, and biology doesn’t change the time they had. It wasn’t all sunshine, but it wasn’t all bad. She’ll always be his daughter, and he’ll always be her dad. Hayden says that’s true. She has to ask him something, and needs him to be honest. She asks if there’s anything left from the hedge fund. He says she’s his daughter all right; she came for the money.

Sam tells Finn she feels fine, except for the dreams. He thinks that’s to be expected, and says that her white blood count is good, and the illness should be eradicated in a few days. He tells her that before she leaves, she’ll need a clean bill of health from Griff too. She asks if she’s still at risk mentally. This confuses me a little, since it’s not like Finn told her she has to see Andre before she leaves.

Sonny apologizes for being out of it. Carly says Dante can wait, but Sonny wants to continue and clear things up.

Ava asks if Kiki wants a drink or is she working tonight? Ava talks about how dedicated she is, but Kiki says nothing she can do will ever change what happened to Morgan. Ava says she’s proud of Kiki, but thinks she’s beyond Kiki’s capabilities. There’s another knock at the door, and Kiki says good thing she called in reinforcements then.

Ava tells Kiki that she had no right. Griff says she does, and realizes that Ava is overwhelmed, but says she can’t keep herself locked away. Ava asks what’s the alternative? If she’s going to open up to total strangers, there had be an open bar involved. Griff thinks she needs support, but Ava says that she has her brother. She tells Griff that thanks to the settlement, she never has to leave the apartment again, and it’s better for everyone. Griff says he almost bought it, but not quite. He says she’s afraid.

Hayden says that Raymond must have managed to hide something. He says sorry; there’s nothing left. Not one nickel. He says she sounds desperate, and she tells him that he has no idea. She explains about changing her name, and says she found a new life to go with it. Raymond says judging by the diamond on her finger, she pulled it off, so what’s wrong? She tells him about Finn, and how perfect he is. He loves her, wants to marry her, and they’re having a baby; she can’t lose him. Raymond asks why she would, and she says there’s a worm in the apple – Jared.

Finn tells Sam that she has a weakened resistance. She asks if the dreams that seem like memories are all in her head. He thinks that’s a question for Griff, but she wants help now. He tells her to let the meds work, and focus on recovery. When he’s gone, she takes her phone out. She sees a text from Molly about Sonny.

Dante asks Sonny if it wasn’t the Garveman who shot him, who else was there? Sonny tells him Garvey ambushed him, and he shot him in self-defense. Dante says Garvey had two bullet wounds, and asks if there was exchange of fire, and when did Garvey shoot him in the leg? Sonny says it was a blur, and the last thing he remembers is that Garvey shot him, and he shot back.

Ava tells Griff that of course she’s afraid. He would be too, if he looked like she does. She talks about children freaking out, and says the really good people go out of their way to smile, but she knows they only feel pity. She says sorry, but when you have no soul there’s nothing to say. Griff asks if she remembers their conversation at The Floating Rib. She says it was a lifetime ago. He tells her that she’d asked if there was any unforgivable sin, and that it’s despair, and denying everything God has given to you. He asks what’s worse, a few strangers turning from her, or her turning her back on God and all creation?

Hayden tells her father that Jared has given her a week. She says she’s the CFO of GH, and he wants her to pay him by siphoning off money. Raymond says she should be able to do that and wonders if she wants some tips. She tells him that she’d be stealing the money that Finn donated. She explains how Finn discovered a cure for Blackwood Syndrome, and that he could be a wealthy man, but gave the licensing fee to the hospital. She’d be betraying both him and the hospital that gave both of them a shot at redemption. A cuckoo clock sound goes off. It’s Hayden’s phone. Jared has sent a GIF of himself pointing to his watch.

Sonny tells Dante that he remembers getting the picture of Spencer from Garveytrain. Carly thinks Sonny should rest, and tries to hustle everyone out. Sonny asks how Sam is, and Carly wonders how he knows she’s been sick. He claims he heard them talking, and Jason tells him that she’s better, but still dealing with hallucinations. Sonny wants a minute alone with Jason.

Sam is trying to get out of bed, when Felix walks in and says, hey. She wants to find Jason. Felix says he’s been there 24/7 and has actually become a nuisance, so he’ll be back. He tells her right now she needs rest. She asks if Sonny has been shot, and Felix says just in the leg and they expect a full recovery, so not to worry. She says she won’t, and Felix leaves.

Ava goes to the hospital, but doesn’t want Kiki and Griff to act like it’s her first day of school. She starts to head toward the meeting room, and Sam sees her. Ava goes around the corner, and Sam follows.

Felix needs everyone to clear out of Sonny’s room, or Epiphany will call for back-up. Carly asks Dante to give Sonny some time to recover. She’s sure that once he’s not drugged up, he’ll be glad to answer questions. Dante is skeptical about that, but leaves. Jason comes out, and Carly asks what Sonny wanted.

Raymond tells Hayden that she could call Jared’s bluff, but she says he has nothing to lose and everything to gain. She says the worst part is that she brought it on herself. She did something wrong, and tried to cover it up – she really is his daughter. Raymond says that she seems genuinely remorseful and she says she wanted to make up for it, but if she’s exposed, she doesn’t see how that’s possible. Raymond tells her that she has two choices, buy Jared’s silence, or go to Finn, come clean, and hope he forgives her. Their time is up. Raymond says sorry it was so brief and so long in coming. No matter what, he hopes she’s happy. He made a mistake in looking for what he wanted in life, but she’s smart, and he knows she’ll succeed. She thinks he might be right.

Ava goes to the group, but no one is there yet. Sam startles her, and she says it’s usually the other way around lately. She tells Sam that she’d helped her find her mask, and Sam is glad that she didn’t imagine it. Ava says that Sam didn’t even flinch when she saw her, and she wasn’t expecting that. She’s surprised to see Sam up and around. Sam tells Ava that she’s feeling better, and Ava is glad to hear it, saying Sam wasn’t herself. Sam asks how, and Ava tells her that she blamed everything on Sonny, and said he was going to get what’s coming to him. She’d never heard her say anything against him before, but it sounded like he was her worst enemy.

Felix asks Sonny if he’s feeling any discomfort, but Sonny says he’s so doped up, he can’t even feel his leg. Felix tells him that Epiphany can’t wait to get him into physical therapy again, but it might be easier if he avoids getting shot in the first place. Maybe he can handle the wear and tear, but his family is another story.

Carly wonders about Sonny’s other enemies. She’s concerned that Sonny doesn’t remember that Jason has bowed out. Jason says he’ll get involved if he has to, and that he thinks Sonny is safe. He tells Carly to look after Sonny, and he’ll look after Sam, and it will all work out.

Sam asks Ava what it was she said exactly, and Ava tells her that it sounded like she hated Sonny. Sam says she doesn’t hate Sonny, and Ava says of course. They’re all part of a united front; all for one, and one for all, but perhaps it was her subconscious speaking. Maybe deep down she doesn’t like what Sonny does, and wants Jason to get out. Sam says that Ava doesn’t know anything about what she wants, and toddles off. Ava is like, wow.

Finn comes to Hayden’s office, where she’ looking over the hospital books on her laptop. He asks where the shopping bags are.

Jason asks Griff if Sam did something while she was sick that she wouldn’t normally do, if it could happen again once the infection is gone. Griff says they can run more tests, and weigh the options. Well, that was vague.

Ava starts to leave, and Kiki pops out of nowhere, asking if she’s going somewhere. She says that she thought she was ready, but she’s never going to be. Griff joins them, and asks how she’ll know that if she doesn’t try. Ava says the two of them won’t quit, and Kiki says she’s learning. Ava tells them that the first time she’s told to get in touch with her feelings, she’s leaving.

Hayden tells Finn that she thought they should make the decorating decisions together. So instead, she was looking through some vacation websites, and got two plane tickets to someplace far away.

Sonny asks if Felix has any more words of wisdom. Felix tells him it’s taking a toll on Carly, as well as his family and friends. He appreciates Felix speaking up. Felix turns the lights out, and Sonny slips into dreamland.

Calry thanks Felix for looking out for Sonny. Felix says he has to turn in Sonny’s clothing to the police, and wonders if he’ll want them back. Carly says they’re trashed anyway, so just burn them. Felix doesn’t blame her for not wanting any reminders, especially now that it’s over.

Jason finds Sam’s room empty.

Sonny dreams about Sam again. He opens his eyes, and she’s standing next to his bed. He asks what she’s doing there, and she says he’s still alive.

Tomorrow, Jared meets Finn, Olivia doesn’t think she can be part of the family, and Carly wants to know how the bullet casing was found.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Tamra and Shannon meet Meghan for lunch. Meghan has brought along baby Aspen, and introduces her cousin Bridget, who doesn’t stay and I don’t blame her. Shannon orders a drink, and Tamra says alcohol is your enemy when you’re trying to lose weight. Unless you’re an alcoholic and that’s all you consume. Meghan says thank God she has Bridget, since she’s overwhelmed. Shannon tells everyone for the thousandth time that she’s gained forty pounds and it’s Vicki’s fault. In her interview, Meghan says it was bad, but not forty pounds bad. Clearly there’s something else going on, like with her marriage.

Lydia and family are in Hawaii. She and Doug have been working hard on the magazine, and she thinks it’s important to have downtime. Because the kids have brought up the term “sexy lady,” thinking it means kissing a lady when you’re naked, Lydia thinks daddy should explain. Doug asks if they’ve heard the word “sex,” and if they know what it is. He tells them it’s something God created, and you do it in private. One of the boys tells him to move on with it (ha-ha – out of the mouths of babes), and Lydia says her mom explained nothing, and didn’t even buy her a bra. Doug explains that it’s something you do when you’re married, and in her interview, Lydia says they were both virgins when they got married and… well, you don’t need to know how great their love life is. God bless ‘em. They both seem like sweet people. Rare on a Housewife show.

Peggy tells son Koko that if she says no and dad says it’s okay, which is the right choice? That would be her. Smart kid. She’s cooking dinner, and tells us Armenian cooking is love, but she wants a chef. Gianelle has gotten into FIT (I think she said FIT, but definitely a fashion school in NYC), and Diko tells her he’s not paying for a penthouse. Peggy thinks they should celebrate, but he says it will have to wait until next weekend, since they’re getting a custom-designed Lamborghini this weekend. Tamra calls to announce Shannon is in the bathroom. Shannon apologizes for being reactive at the restaurant, but Peggy says she doesn’t owe her an apology. She invites them to the Lamborghini event. Shannon says if Vicki and Kelly are going to be there, she can’t come, because we’re in middle school. Peggy tries to say something, but Shannon steamrolls over her. In her interview, Peggy says that Vicki is her friend, and she doesn’t want to get in the middle. She says it was an a and b conversation and she c’d herself out of it. Diko is like omg.

Kelly drags her mom to the senior center to see director Celeste. She says her mom’s social life in Arizona was amazing, but now she just sits around. Celeste shows them the kilns and potter’s wheel, and I think of that scene in Ghost, but with old people. Kelly says the last relationship her mother had was with her father in 2002, and even if she doesn’t find love, she could use some companionship. Kelly tells Celeste that her mom is 68, but acts 100. Her mother says she doesn’t tell Kelly what to do, and they debate that. She feels like Kelly won’t let her relax. Kelly calls her frustrating, and her mom says she’s there; what more does Kelly want? In her interview, Kelly says she literally married her mother, since Michael doesn’t like to do anything either. Kelly pays dues for a year. Like her mom is going to go and play ping pong with a couple of codgers.

Vicki is getting stuff delivered for the office. She says everything she’s doing, is so she can sit back and hand Michael the baton. Some of her awards got broken in the move, and I feel for her. She says this office is the model for the franchise. She says she wants her family to reap the benefits of her hard work, and if Michael marries his girlfriend, he needs to do a prenup. In her interview, she says whatever the nup is, she’s nupping everything. She asks if they’re using birth control, and Michael says they don’t want kids right now. Geez, it’s not like he’s a kid.

Kelly thinks that she and Shannon could be friends, and that Tamra is the wedge between them. She believes she has a way, and doesn’t want to be an outcast like last year. She calls Tamra, who makes a face when she sees who it is, but tells her she’s unblocked. She asks if Tamra would like to have coffee. We see a clip of her mom advising her to go through Tamra first. Tamra says she never wanted to fight with Kelly, and has always been supportive, but it got weird. Kelly says she doesn’t want to go in a negative direction. Tamra is up for that, but immediately calls Shannon to tell her that Kelly called. She tells Shannon about Kelly not wanting negativity. Shannon goes blah-blah-blah, and brings up things Tamra doesn’t need to remember. In her interview, Shannon thinks maybe it’s best Kelly should meet with Tamra without plates flying in the air.

Meanwhile back in Hawaii, I cry because I wish I was there. Doug and Lydia have dinner. She wants to talk about how they should use their downtime. She thinks he should get a vasectomy, and a coconut falls. Please tell me that was editing. In her interview, Lydia says she doesn’t have time now with the kids she has. Lydia tells Doug she’s done, and asks if he is. She says he can put some sperm in the freezer in case something happens to her, and he meets some beautiful blonde. He grew up in a big family, and she understands why he’s hesitant. She says he’ll be her gelding, and he says he’ll think on that. First of all, it’s an in-office operation that’s a fairly quick procedure. It’s not like spaying a dog. And it’s also reversible. I used to work in a women’s clinic that also did vasectomies, but I can literally count on one hand how many we had in the two years I was there. Come on, guys, step up.

I have to admit, Aspen is a cutie. Meghan and Bridget go over some soap ideas. Jimmy and Meghan opened a candle store, and now that Aspen is here, she wonders what she got herself into. She says whoever said there’s a work/life balance didn’t know what they were talking about, because there is none. She was hoping Jimmy would stay home more after the baby was born, but he’s working more than ever. Jimmy comes in and fawns over the baby. Megan thinks one day he’ll come home and Aspen won’t know who he is.

Kelly thanks Tamra for meeting with her. She thinks if she can patch things up with Tamra, Shannon will follow. I dunno about that. Shannon can really hold a grudge. Kelly wants to out puppet the puppet master. In her interview, Tamra says as much as she doesn’t like Kelly, she feels sorry for her. Tamra tells Kelly that she doesn’t want to fight, but when pushed in a corner, her claws come out. We flash back to the apology after Ireland, and she says after that, all hell broke loose on social media. Kelly says it’s hard to control herself when things get heated, and Tamra wonders how they go forward. She tells Kelly that Shannon wasn’t pleased with herself and the way she reacted at the restaurant. In her interview, Tamra says Kelly is a lot like her; impulsive, but they get over things quickly. She apologizes for anything she engaged in, and Kelly just wants everyone to get along. Tamra asks what else Kelly has for her, and is probably sorry she asked when Kelly tells her about the vaginal rejuvenation. I’ll just leave the rest of that discussion alone, since we don’t need to revisit that.

Diko and Peggy get ready for the Lamborghini event. Ooh! One of the daughters has a long lace overdress (with an LBD underneath) that’s gorgeous. They all look amazing, but that style is a particular favorite of mine. Doug and Lydia join them at the event. Lydia says she doesn’t care about the car, but look at Peggy’s handbag! Lydia talks to Peggy about not wanting any more kids. In her interview, she wonders if they actually remove… oh, never mind. I’m finding it hard to believe adults don’t know how a vasectomy is done. Meghan and Jimmy arrive, sans baby, and Vicki and Steve follow. Apparently, there’s no grudge on Meghan’s part. In her interview, VIcki says Meghan looks like she just stepped off a runway, not like she just had a baby. There’s a drumroll, and Peggy reveals the new car. It’s taxi yellow. No. Just no. Doug asks Jimmy about being a new dad. He says it’s not exactly new to him, since he has a couple of grown children from another marriage.

Meghan talks about the Ireland trip, and discusses her genealogy research there. She says it was a fun trip until it wasn’t. Vicki says there’s no point in talking about it. Meghan is having a sip and see party, and invites the girls. Lydia is hesitant because Shannon and Tamra will be there.

Tamra and Eddie visit Shannon and David, since they’re not attending the Lamborghini thing. Tamra tells Shannon that Kelly has remorse and wants to meet with her. She thinks it should be before Meghan’s party, and she’s willing to go along. Shannon says the last time she and Kelly got together alone, it wasn’t good. Tamra tells her Vicki will be at Meghan’s party, and they can keep each other in check from the ones that make them see red.

Back at the car show, Lydia says she wasn’t mentally prepared for the restaurant debacle. Meghan starts talking about how Vicki hurt Shannon, and Vicki says they’ve all hurt each other. She explains to Peggy that there are unresolved issues among the ladies. Meghan thinks that Vicki should try to understand, and says that when they were in Ireland, they were getting along. Vicki says that she can’t be the only one to apologize, but Megan tells her that swallowing your pride can make you feel good, and that you can’t expect anything back from an apology. Peggy asks if Vicki has apologized, and Vicki tells her she has, many times. We flash back to those, and Vicki says she’s good. Peggy tells Meghan that the more you talk about something, the bigger it gets. Kind of what Erika from Beverly Hills said about Pantygate. Peggy tells Meghan to make duck lips, then puts her fingers like she’s holding them closed. She tells Meghan that she’s making everyone uncomfortable, and to zip it. Ha-ha! That stopped her running mouth. Meghan wonders what she’s missing, and why she has to be quiet. In her interview, Vicki says Peggy nailed it. Shut up, Megan. She’s over it.

Next time, Tamra asks Shannon if they should be fake, Vicki tells Peggy there are issues, Lydia is concerned about Shannon misbehaving at her party, and Kelly meets with Shannon.

🐮 It was the season finale for Sweet Home Oklahoma (sob!). Pumps got her new house, and for someone who couldn’t afford a house in the next neighborhood over, it’s big and beautiful. Jennifer picked out tiles for a decorating project, and called Lee a magnet to the bun when Josh got her to goof around, taking Instagram photos. Lee said she didn’t have high hopes for Jennifer’s Instagram with Josh being in charge of it, but his pictures ended up being fabulous. Josh has decided to keep the photography a hobby though, and go back to practicing law. Lee and Jennifer agreed they’ll miss Pumps because they like knowing where she is at all times. Jennifer thought they were going to need an army of movers, and a psychiatrist to find out why Pumps is hoarding. Lee claimed a dead person could be in the walk-in closet and they’d never know, and I had to agree. It was like an explosion of clothing, accessories, and random items in there. Pumps said they were acting like she’s going to Siberia, when she’s only moving five miles away. Tubby fell through the attic floor at Pumps’s new house, and in true dog fashion, freaked out everyone except for himself. In their interview, Jennifer joked that Pumps was trying to murder Tubby, and Pumps said it took a long time, but she finally did it. She’d planned it all out from orchestrating her divorce to buying the new house. Pumps told us the move was bittersweet, it wasn’t just leaving the neighborhood, but leaving the idea of the perfect family life, but she’s ready to make new memories. To assuage the grief of losing Pumps, Jennifer left her a housewarming gift – a topiary shaped like Tubbers, with its own service dog vest – a “tubiary.” I literally LOL’d – it really did look like him. Pumps’s dog promptly peed on it. I sincerely hope this show is renewed for another season. It’s heartwarming without being saccharine, and very funny.

🔊 Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce is back on Thursday, August 17th at 10 pm; The Real Housewives of Dallas begins a new season on Monday, August 14th at 10 pm (looks like LeeAnn is back to breaking glasses already); and the Stud of the Sea, Captain Lee, returns with Below Deck on Tuesday, September 5th at 9 pm.

SweetHomeMeme

July 31, 2017 – Finn Says Yes, Lee Has a Half-Birthday & Jax on the Farm

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jason talks to himself in Sam’s hospital room about more tests. He’s hoping they make progress this time and he can take her home. He can’t help but think about how empty the house is without her, and what if he’s married to a memory? He tells himself that’s not going to happen.

Griff doesn’t like that Sam is in a coma, but thanks Finn for the diagnosis. He tells Finn he should take a break. Finn asks if Griff thanks Sam is going to wake up. He doesn’t know, but the longer it continues, the greater the odds of her not waking at all.

Hayden talks to Lucy on the phone. She’s visiting the new house to get a feel for it at night. After she hangs up, she says this is going to be their home. She never liked playing house as a girl, but so wants to do it now.

Jared Meets Obrecht in her car. He says he’s given it a lot of thought. Rachel/Hayden has already cost him years in prison, and as tempted as he is, he’s leaving her and his past behind for good. Obrecht anticipated his reluctance. She gives him information on Hayden’s new, wonderful life that she created while he was doing time. He decides to take a look.

Nina sees Nathan at the station. She’s there to collect her bail money. Nathan asks if she’s mad at him, and she says not mad, just disappointed. She never thought he’d give up on her. He says if he implied that, he’s sorry; he just doesn’t want her to get hurt again. She asks where she can get her paperwork for the bail money return, since Valentin is innocent. Valentin walks in, and Nina says this is the last place she thought she’d see him. He wants to know if they found the kidnapper, or is he still a person of interest?

Garvey on a gurney is wheeled into the hospital. Carly is all over him like a cheap suit, and tries to shake him down about where Sonny is.

Still cooling his heels in the cask room. He says he’s not ready, and he wants to live.

Dante asks if the Garvman knows where Sonny is, and what did he do to him? One of the doctors says they have to get him to the OR, and Dante tells them to keep him alive. Elizabeth says the only thing she can remember about the car is that it was dirty. Is it mine?  Dante sends an officer to check the car out. He thanks Elizabeth, who thanks Carly for coming along when she did. Carly tells Dante that Garvey claimed he killed Sonny, but says no way he got the drop on Sonny. She wonders how their paths could have crossed.

Jason wants to know what Griff and Finn are talking about, and Griff says he was just telling Finn to take a break. Finn explains that speculation is what they do. Hayden texts Finn, and Griff tells him to go. Jason asks why he wasn’t told about Sam maybe not waking up forever.

Obrecht tells Jared that while he was languishing in prison, Rachel/Hayden was busy reinventing herself. Her father stole billions in a Ponzi scheme, and she remained blameless. Now she’s CFO of GH. Now she and Finn, who torpedoed her career, just bought a big, beautiful house. She says Finn has no respect for convention or rules. He took the happily ever after that should have been Jared’s.

Valentin thanks Nina. Nathan tells him that he’s worse than people say he is. Valentin says it’s a witch hunt, and Spencer redacted what he’d said. They’ll call him a person of interest, rather than focusing on the real kidnapper.

Carly tells Dante what happened in the parking garage, and that when Garvo let his guard down, she jumped him. Dante says could have had a gun, but she figures he would have shown it. Well, yeah, he would have been holding it to Elizabeth’s head. An officer comes back with the information that they’re running the license plate. He hands Dante something of Spencer’s they found in the car. Dante wonders if maybe Garvey was stalking Sonny, and took Spencer for bait. Carly says what better way to set a trap than to take Sonny’s nephew hostage?

Obrecht tells Jared that’s just the overview; there’s more where that came from. Jared says that he’s cutting his losses, and suggests that she do the same. He tells her auf wiedersehen, and she says he’s a coward. No wonder Hayden left him holding the bag. She’s not walking away; not now, not ever.

Finn shows up at the new house, and Hayden is lying on the floor. He thinks something is wrong, but she’s imagining a skylight. He’s sorry he overreacted, but realized how fragile life is today. He tells her about Sam lapsing into a coma. Hayden asks if it will be okay, and he hopes so. He saw the fear in Jason’s eyes, and could relate to how he could lose everything with no warning. Hayden says their life is just beginning.

Jason asks Griff to be straight with him. Griff says he’s not speculating, or telling him something not confirmed. Jason says that Sam might look fragile, but she’s strong and a fighter, and will do anything for those she loves. He needs Griff to help and believe in her, and asks if Griff can help his wife. Griff says he’ll fight for her. They need to get her conscious, because there’s more likelihood of complications when she’s in a coma. He needs Jason to hold it together. He tells Jason to eat, rest, and hug his kids, but Jason says he’s not leaving until Sam wakes up.

Valentin says he’s going to sue for false arrest, obstruction of justice, and something else I wasn’t fast enough to type, and it flew out of my head. Nathan hopes that Spencer takes Valentin for everything he’s worth. He says it can’t be much, since Nina bailed him out. I guess he doesn’t know that Nina did it to show solidarity, and Valentin’s lawyers were in the process of wiring the money. Nina is like, oh yeah, I came to get my money back. Dante calls Nathan and says they know who abducted Spencer. Valentin says now Nathan has to admit it wasn’t him.

Carly asks Dante what if the Garvster is telling the truth? They have to find Sonny now. Dante says what about checking the GPS on his car or phone, but Carly says that Sonny made sure he was untraceable.

Sonny fingers the cross on his necklace, and starts to give his confession.

Hayden messes with design software on her laptop. She talks about what they can do with the tennis court. Finn asks what she doesn’t like about tennis courts, and she tells him that she doesn’t like what they represent. He wonders what she means, and she says when she was married, they had a house with a court. Her husband was a great player, and would invite investors over, letting them win. It reminds her of a time in her life, and the sad person she was. Finn says he hates tennis. They can turn it into natural habitat for Roxie and her friends. A giant terrarium. I like it. Hayden starts crying, and says hormones are killing her. She tells him that she was talking to Curtis, and he wanted to know if they were going to talk about marriage, or did they even want to get married?

Nina says tells Nathan that he owes Valentin an apology; he was arrested without any evidence. Valentin wants a public apology. It tarnished his character when he’s involved in both a lawsuit and a custody battle. He tells Nina that at least she knows her faith in him wasn’t misplaced. Nathan has a few details he wants to discuss with Valentin, and tells him that if he keeps trying to worm his way back into Nina’s life, he’ll regret it.

Sonny says he has many sins to confess. Pride caused him not to walk away from his old life, now he’s buried in it. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with Sam, but asks God to help her – and him. For so long, he wasn’t afraid to die, but he is now. He doesn’t want to leave his kids and Carly, and not be able to see their lives and futures.

Dante tells Carly to go home. She insists she has to get the Garvmeister to talk, but Dante says that’s his job; there’s nothing for her to do. Dante leaves, and Carly sees Jason. They hug.

Hayden tells Finn that she’s survived her past, and doesn’t want to repeat her mistakes. Marriage is the ultimate test, and she failed twice. She wants to build a life for their child, and she’ll try her best. She tells Finn that she loves him, and he kisses her. She asks if that’s a yes.

Nina orders a martini at the bar, and Obrecht says to put it on her tab. Nina says she should be buying, since she turned down Obrecht’s proposal. Obrecht tells her that you win some, you lose some. She wasted too much time with the ingrates at GH. She tells Nina that sometimes you have to do what’s best for you, even if it means that it’s not best for everyone else. Nina says to tell that to Nathan. Obrecht says he’s too nice for his own good, and Nina says thanks, and jets before she even gets her drink.

Valentin tells Nathan that Nina’s mistakes are hers to make. Nathan tells him to stay away from Nina, but Valentin says they both live in Port Charles, so that’s not practical; they’re part of the same community. He says if he’s lucky enough to get her back, he’ll spend the rest of his life making her happy.

Griff asks Elizabeth if she’s okay, and why she’s still at the hospital after taking down a thug. She says that was Carly. She asks Griff not to laugh, but it felt like a Guardian Angel was looking out for her. Griff says he’s the last person who would laugh at that.

Jason is sorry he couldn’t do more for Sonny. Carly says that he had his hands full. She knows Sonny is alive, like she knows that Sam will pull through this. Jason says that it wasn’t that long ago when he was there, hoping the same thing. He wonders how many prayers God will answer. Carly says that He answers them forever, at least she hopes so. Jason hopes so too.

Finn says he didn’t think Hayden wanted to get married. He agrees that the bar was set high for him, which is why he thought he’d never fall in love again, but that before he met her. She saved him. Hayden says he saved her, and his cure will save more people. Finn says he’s done everything for her, so yes, and not just because of the baby. They kiss some more

Nina calls to Valentin in the garage. She apologizes for Nathan. She says that since there’s no Maxie to protect, he’s overcompensating, but his intentions are good. Valentin admires anyone wanting to fight for Nina. He shares that desire, even though she’s capable of fighting for herself. She’s glad to have someone that has her back, and Valentin says she’s had his. She says he’s not indebted to her anymore, but he says always will be. She kisses him.

Sonny says the Our Father. He closes his eyes.

Griff looks at the test results. He takes Jason aside to talk. Elizabeth tells Carly that the Big Garvhuna is out of surgery, and what room he’s in. She says she should inform Dante, but that might take a while. Carly gets the message, and heads to Garvey’s room. You’d think Dante would have had someone there already.

Finn asks if Hayden wants a celebration, and suggests getting take-out from The Floating Rib. They can have their first dinner in the house. It’s fine with Hayden, as long as there are pickles. He says if he gets a call from the hospital, he’ll bring back the food first. She has to get used to being a doctor’s wife. When he’s gone, she opens her laptop. She hears the door, and thinks Finn forgot something, but it’s Jared, who must have passed Finn on his way in.

Nina and Valentin make out a little. He says that she has no idea how much he’s wanted to kiss her. He asks her to come back and be a family. She says no, and backs away. He tells her goodnight.

Jason calls the Quartermaine’s to talk to Danny, saying that mommy sleeping, but the doctors are taking care of her; she’s going to be fine. He knows, because she loves him and all of them, and blah-blah-blah dad stuff. After he hangs up, he tells himself that she’s going to be fine.

Carly goes to Garvs’s room. This should be good. He opens his eyes, and she says, good, he’s awake. She tells him that she spent time in nursing school, and knows her way around. She knows the morphine drip is a gift for those in pain. She hopes he’s not in too much pain, but that’s up to him – where’s her husband?

A light shines on Sonny. He sees someone, and says, it’s you. I’m assuming he sees Morgan, but they’ve fooled me before. Not often, but they have.

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Finn that happiness won’t protect him from a relapse, Josslyn asks where her mother is, and Hayden says she’s done with Jared, but he says no.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Shannon visits Tamra. She asks for water, probably so Tamra won’t smack her. Tamra recommends some kind of natural mood lifter. Geez, can she spare the water? There’s like a whole inch in the glass. Tamra talks about seeing Kelly walk into the restaurant, and insists she was wasted. Well, probably. She was on the boat with her friends all day.

Kelly is steaming some clothing, noting that it looks easier when they do it in the store. She tells Michael about the evening at The Not-So-Quiet Woman. We flash back to all the times that Kelly has been kicked out of various places and parties, as well as Shannon’s plate throwing skills. Michael thinks it will be difficult to get past. In her interview, Kelly says that Shannon doesn’t own up to where she’s responsible. Truth! Michael says somewhere in there is a fun-loving person, since they’ve had laughs. Kelly believes they could be friends, but for whatever reason, she thinks Tamra is interfering. Michael says they have a new puppet master. Kelly thinks that Shannon has Stockholm Syndrome with Tamra. This is like the Munchhausen of the new OC season.

Tamra tells Shannon how everybody was looking at them. Shannon says Lydia just wanted to get out of there. Can you blame her?

Lydia’s mother is having a party for grandson Stirling’s birthday. Everything is set up like it’s a movie premiere. Lydia explains how her parents are total opposites, but it works. She tells Judy she doesn’t think Vicki is going to bring Briana, but Judy doesn’t care. She says it’s five years ago. It might be, but we can still flash back to the infamous Judy-putting-her-feet-on-the-couch incident. Lydia tells her about making up with Shannon, but she thinks it’s Vicki and Kelly vs Tamra and Shannon. She doesn’t want any plate throwing at the party, and Judy thinks fairy dust might be in order. Isn’t it always?

It’s really a cool set-up, with a red carpet and everything. A magician usher does some tricks, but hears crickets from the kids. Lydia tells Kelly she’s confused about what happened at the restaurant. She says after seeing Shannon’s reaction to Kelly, she doesn’t think it will ever be fine between them. Peggy arrives, and doesn’t want to get in the middle of it. Vicki says Peggy’s ring is the size of her house, which is more than a slight exaggeration, although it is sizable. Lydia introduces their MC, Micky, who is also the usher. All the kids are brought in for the movie premiere, while the adults eat and drink. We see Judy’s collection of crowns. That she cooks in. She gives the ladies vials of fairy dust. She dusts Lydia, who isn’t thrilled when some gets on her sweater. Peggy says it’s hard to clean off, and I’m with her on that, having done crafts with kids. Glitter and Play-Doh are my enemies.

The cake is brought out. Vicki tells Peggy that she has to teach her to be tough, since some of the girls can be hard and turn on you. Peggy tells Vicki about her double-mastectomy, and how she’ll be going through reconstructive surgery. Vicki tells her to call if she needs anything like help with the kids. In her interview, she feels that health issues should be kept private after the whole Brooks thing, but she’s not requiring any documentation.

Vicki picks Kelly up. She’s getting tightened inside and out. She’s hoping it makes everything better for everybody. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ In her interview, Vicki says she’s always there for her friends, but she doesn’t want to know. She says next time, they’re just going to lunch. How can I put this? They put in a laser that looks like… never mind. Kelly says she’s taking one for the team. It’s a fairly quick procedure, thank God.

Shannon is teaching Sophie to drive. Beforehand, she tells Sophie that her goal is for her daughter to be a safe driver, so don’t argue with anything. Sophie still thinks it will be easier than her father teaching her. Shannon says she’s going to be calm, and it’s going to be a nice, peaceful ride. It starts off that way, until Shannon tells Sophie that she keeps going into the crosswalks. Then tells her to slow own. Sophie says that Shannon is freaking her out. Someone blows a horn, scaring Shannon, and Sophie claims the car wasn’t even in her lane. Shannon keeps giving instructions, and tells the next car over that Sophie is a permit driver. Which Sophie really appreciates.

Tamra’s son Ryan is at her place. She has to give a speech, and isn’t looking forward to it. She got involved in a documentary called Erasing Family, and they asked her to speak at one of their events. She’s texting Simon, who she has a better relationship with now. Ryan says he was talking to Sydney and told her that she was missing everything, and should come around more. Tamra ran into her at Ryan’s house, and says it was awkward, but they hugged for the first time in years. She feels like she doesn’t even know her own daughter, and says it’s the first step to their future. She asks about Sarah, and says all the fighting doesn’t need to happen. Ryan says he knows, but can relate to Simon. We flash back to how Simon tried to get Ryan to be more responsible when he was young. Ryan says that Simon is an a-hole, but thanks him. Tamra thought he hated Simon, but Simon was hard on him because he wanted him to do well. In her interview, Tamra says Ryan gets it now. Tamra tells him not to go through what she did the last few years, and he tells her that his biggest fear is leaving because of the fighting, and not knowing who might step in. Tamra feels guilty, and says she’s here for him. He says his problems are his.

Meghan is pleased with dropping another pants size. She’s waiting for Kelly. She has a new nanny named Bridget, whom she hired without knowing her qualifications. That seems pretty odd for a new mom, but okay. She says her relationship with Kelly has drifted. In her interview, she tells us that she asked Kelly if she was seeing someone, and she didn’t like the question. In her interview, Kelly says she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and if she did, she would say so. Meghan doesn’t care, but Kelly retaliated by sending a text saying Jimmy was having an affair. Meghan says even though she knew it wasn’t true, no one should send a text like that to a woman who is seven months pregnant. So she cut Kelly out for a few months and let her back in because it’s easier not to fight with her. Kelly brings a cute outfit for Aspen, and tells Meghan about the fight with Shannon, including Kelly’s “keep eating” comment. In her interview, Meghan says the way Kelly goes after people isn’t normal, and it’s like a toddler having a tantrum. Bridget presents Meghan with the baby, who is wailing her head off.

Diko is putting wheels on Vicki’s car. She’s overwhelmed with all the cars in his garage. He says that he has ten more in another building because they didn’t fit. Vicki has a hard time with new people, and we flash back to her clashing with most of the ones who have joined the show since the beginning. She thinks there’s promise for a great friendship with Peggy though. Diko says Peggy was touched by whatever Vicki said at the birthday party. In her interview, Peggy says that she likes Vicki because she’s protective, and Peggy knows she means it when she says she’d drop everything to help. Peggy starts to talk about her mother, but chokes up, and doesn’t want to go there. She says it’s hard to look in the mirror, because she looks like her. Vicki says her mother was so young. Peggy’s father has also passed, and it came at the same time she was diagnosed. Vicki tells her about her own mother, and we flash back to when she found out her mother had died. That was one of the saddest things ever, and a truly real moment.

Tamra’s dad, Frank, comes over for the Erasing Family event. They haven’t had the best relationship – he left her mom for her best friend. Eww, that’s messy. She says she took her mom’s side in the divorce, and shunned her father, and thinks Sydney is doing the same to her. Well, karma and all that. Her brother also shows, but her mom got called into work. She’s annoyed that her mother didn’t make the effort. She wonders if it’s too painful, but says her mother never talks about anything. They head out.

Tamra schmoozes with the guests. She tells us that there are 22 million people alienated from their kids. She talks to someone about her dad having been her hero, and how she ostracized him, but he’s here tonight, and drove ten hours to get there. In her interview, she says that it hurts her feelings that her mom didn’t think it was important enough to show up. Tamra is introduced. She asks her dad, brother, and son to come up – three generations of alienated people. She says that it hurts every day, and she gets through it by helping others. She starts to cry as she speaks about silent pain. She thinks her daughter will be back one day, as well as the others. She tells them to love their children more than they hate the other parent. In her interview, she says that she hopes Ryan and Sarah think twice and work harder at making things work. Eddie tells her she did great. He says to let her daughter come back, and not force the issue. Leave it to God.

Next time, a trip to Hawaii, Lydia talks to Doug about downtime, Kelly wants her mother to do something for her soul, and Peggy tells Meghan to shut up.

🐮 On Sweet Home Oklahoma, the girls threw a 40.5 birthday party for Lee, whose birthday is in December, when it’s hard to compete with Jesus’s birthday. A 70s costume roller rink party was decided on, and Pumps wanted pictures of everyone in their costumes first, to make sure she wouldn’t be the only one in costume, like on Tubby’s birthday. Lee insisted no strippers, and Jennifer agreed the only thing they’re good for is humiliating the person being danced upon. Pumps was proud of her rented costume, not wanting anyone to see it beforehand, and then found out she had the wrong decade, thinking it was an 80s party. They grilled their Uber driver, because they enjoy interrogating millennials, and he was an incredibly good sport – and very hot. Lee skated like a pro, but I’m more like Pumps, who needed a child’s walker. Or roller, as it were. A SWAT team guy came in, and yep, he was a stripper. After Lee was subjected to a lap dance, she made Pumps go next, since it was her half birthday. Jennifer also helped Pumps look for a new house. Next time, Pumps gets her new house. I can’t say it enough how much I love this show. While I totally enjoy a good Wife fight, this reality doesn’t make you feel like you might need a shower afterward. Without being saccharine, it leaves you feeling good. These people are real friends, who are intrinsically funny, much like the ones on my dearly departed The People’s Couch. I literally lol several times per show, and it’s broken my heart a little too. There is real love between everyone, and they’re funny without being mean. We could all use a little more of that.

💪 Tonight’s best Sweet Home quote: I’m always nice, bitch. – Pumps

🐓 Starting Wednesday, August 23, at 9 pm, Bravo is bringing forth Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky. It looks like it might be amusing in a Simple Life way – i.e. Jax contending with life on the farm – but if LVP isn’t on it, I’m not sure if it’s worth the TV time.

MondayKitty

July 24, 2017 – Not So Quiet at The Quiet Woman, Tubbers on Canvas & the Perfect Excuse

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Flyers are put out about Spencer being missing. Nathan yells at someone on the phone about getting footage. Dante thinks he should get some rest, but he’s not feeling the empty apartment. Dante says it’s not empty, it’s quiet, and if he doesn’t go, Dante is pulling out the big guns and calling Maxie. He suggests a shower too.

Valerie brings Oscar over to Dante. He says he has information about Spencer.

Carly catches Josslyn trying to leave the house. Josslyn wants to join the search, but Carly says they’re using every resource, including Sonny’s contacts. Josslyn wants to do something, and Carly says maybe later, reminding her that she’s still grounded. Carly asks about Oscar. Josslyn says he’s a really nice guy, but Carly wants to see it for herself. She tells Josslyn to invite him over.

Sonny is sent a picture of Spencer sitting in a basement. Sonny texts a response, asking what the person wants in exchange for Spencer.

Well, it’s not Valentin, since Jason is dousing him with water. He shows Valentin one of the flyers. He asks Valentin where Spencer is.

At The Floating Rib, Mac is a klutz, knocking over his shopping bag. A pair of shoes spill out, and Nathan makes fun of him, saying the shoes look too small. Mac tells Nathan that he wants to make his wife feel special. He asks if there’s any word on Spencer, and Nathan says Dante told him to leave and get some food and rest. Mac thinks that’s a good idea, and asks him to sit. Nathan says he has to recharge.

Oscar has brought some evidence to the station, and Valerie commends him on following procedure. Oscar explains that he found Post-It notes from an historical figure game they’d been playing at camp the morning Spencer disappeared. He didn’t want to play, and Oscar thinks he put them in his pocket. Valerie also found a partial footprint. Dante thanks Oscar, who hopes they find him. Spencer is important to a friend of his.

Josslyn tells Carly that Oscar is busy searching for Spencer. Carly asks if that’s where she was headed, and Josslyn says she really does want to help, since Spencer disappeared on her watch. Carly tells her that it was out of her control, but Josslyn still feels terrible. Carly isn’t happy with her lying and sneaking out. She doesn’t know if its Oscar or Josslyn, but she’s making bad choices and Carly isn’t trusting her. Josslyn gets a text from Oscar, who would like to hang out. Carly tells her to invite him over.

Valentin asks Jason if Laura was his diversion or did he capitalize on her hysteria? Jason says that Valentin refused to help her out, so someone had to. Valentin insists that he didn’t take Spencer. Jason says his memory might be hazy, but he’s going to tell him where Spencer is one way or another. He takes out a knife.

Sonny’s phone rings. A text says, took you long enough. He asks what they want. He’s told to come to the distillery, alone, with $200K or the kid dies. Sonny has a headache.

Mac was going to cancel poker night, but thinks Nathan needs company. Nathan tells Mac that he doesn’t want to get cleaned out by Epiphany again. He asks what the shoes are about, and Mac says he wants to keep Felicia interested, and put the oomph back in their marriage.

Oscar shows up in a tie with flowers. Carly says she’s heard a lot about him and shakes his hand. She asks if the flowers are for her. He has several bouquets, and says that he wasn’t sure what her favorites were, so he covered all the bases. She asks who scared him into making a good impression, but he says that he just wanted her to know he’s cool – in a good way. She says she’d offer him a tour of the house, but since he was at a party there, he already saw it. He says only the part they’re in, and she’s like, oh, that’s’ right, you two were in here drinking illegally.

Valerie thinks the Post-Its were found where they were dropped. Dante looks at security footage form where the notes were found. He tells Valerie to interview people while he checks it out.

Jason says if Valentin wants to see his daughter again, he’ll tell him where Spencer is. Valentin says he doesn’t know where Spencer is. He tells Jason to do what he needs to do, but it will be no good. He doesn’t have Spencer, and doesn’t know where he is, and every minute Jason wastes with him is one where he could be looking.

Sonny goes to the distillery. He calls out that he’s there. He asks if they’re afraid to meet him face to face, and is suddenly shot in the arm.

Dante tells Valerie that the video is terrible, but he doesn’t see anyone stealing a kid. He looks again at a car parked in a way that the camera can’t pick up plates. Valerie thinks it’s the perfect spot and it’s no coincidence. The only thing they can tell is that the driver is male and wearing sunglasses; they can’t make out the face. Dante says they don’t know where the car came from, and can’t see what’s in the trunk, but the driver looks nervous. Dante notes where the car turns when it leaves, and Valerie goes to check other cameras.

Mac tells Nathan that it’s important to keep things fresh. Nathan says he’s been eating too much junk, and Mac suggests they go to the gym. Nathan remembers his own advice. Mac says he’s a lucky man. Felicia is hot stuff, and he has to show her that he still has it too.

Carly says she’s not much of a cook, but snacks are her thing. Oscar says they’re delicious, and apologizes for the drinking. He tells her that he remembers an Oscar Wilde quote about never getting a second chance to make a first impression. He’s sorry he blew his, and asks if he can make it up. Carly says that depends, and wants to know where the alcohol came from. Oscar explains that another guy’s legal-age cousin got it, but says that’s no excuse. Carly tells him that if one of the kids had gotten injured there or in an accident on the way home, she could have been sued. She says that neither of them should have been drinking, especially Josslyn, since she only has one kidney. Oscar had no idea. Carly thinks it’s not an isolated incident, and that Oscar has drinking experience. He says not really, but it was’t just that once.

Sonny lies on the ground. A man kicks him. It’s Garvy the Mobster! Sonny is like wth? Garvmeister can’t believe Sonny is still alive, since he shot him in the heart. He says he saw his chance, and needs a break; his arm was really damaged in Puerto Rico. What a baby. Sonny pulls out a gun, and says if Garvy doesn’t tell him where his nephew is, he’s finishing the job.

Valentin says Jason is a father. He came to Valentin for help with his son, and Valentin gave it to him. He’d told him how important it was to have a child in his life. If he’d wanted to get rid of Spencer, he would have done it long ago, and made it look like an accident. He has too much to lose, and it’s not worth the sacrifice for a spoiled brat.

Oscar tells Carly that he had beer a couple of times, but didn’t even like the taste, and just did it to be cool. He knows it’s stupid to succumb to peer pressure, but he wanted to fit in. He says the whole popular crowd thing isn’t really him, and he won’t do it again, especially if it costs him friendship with Josslyn. Carly asks if it means that much to him, and he says she’s his only friend. He’s not into what the other kids are; he’s into music, mostly classical, and plays piano. Josslyn says that she’s not very musical, and Oscar says she has other talents. She’s an amazing athlete, and she’s smart and funny. He says that she’s special, and Carly agrees, and says that she’ll do anything to protect her. Oscar says that’s cool – in a good way. He tells Carly that she has no reason to trust him, but he’ll never make a stupid move again. Carly asks where he’s from, and he says they moved from Ohio when his mom was transferred. Carly asks about his dad, which mortifies Josslyn. Oscar tells her that it’s okay, and says he didn’t really know his dad, and his mom doesn’t like talking about him. Carly changes subjects and asks about his piano skills.

Valerie tells Dante they’re sending over footage. And here it is. Not good enough to get plate, but again, Dante knows where they’re headed. He says they’re on to something and getting closer.

Valentin tells Jason he wouldn’t have kidnapped a kid in a public park in broad daylight, and Jason says maybe he hired the wrong people. Valentin says he just dodged life in The Hague, and isn’t going to jeopardize that, especially over a frivolous lawsuit brought by a child. He wants to be with Charlotte, and he’s not going to jail for kidnapping her annoying, precocious cousin. Jason believes him, and Valentin asks to be let out of his restraints.

Sonny asks the Garvster where Spencer is. Garvy tells him that he’s in a structure behind the band house. Sonny wants to know how he can be sure Spencer is alive, and Garvy says that he has a camera on him all the time, and gives Sonny his phone. He tells Sonny that he doesn’t kill kids; he was only using Spencer to get to Sonny. Sonny says that as much as he wants to blast Garvy, he’s calling the cops. Sam shows up. Sonny, stop looking at her and pay attention to what you’re doing.

Nathan tells Mac that he’ll eat later, and they’ll do the gym another day. Mac says he’ll hold him to it, because he needs to step up his own game. He asks Nathan not to laugh and not to tell another soul, especially Maxie, but sometimes stuff just clicks. He tells Nathan about writing to an online advice column, and asks if he’s heard of Man Landers.

Dante says that he’s going to follow up on an abandoned house, and tells Valerie what a good job she did today. She credits Oscar.

Oscar says it was luck that he recognized the notes from the camp game. He tells Josslyn and Carly about Dante giving him props, and Josslyn explains how they’re related to Dante. Carly says they’re all over the place, and tells him that she’s just kidding. Oscar says Dante appreciated the help, and Josslyn says he might have broken the case. Carly tells Oscar that he should be proud of himself. He says he felt pretty good. Oscar’s mom calls, and he says he’s sorry, but he has to eat and go. He thanks Carly, and she says it’s been illuminating. Oscar says see you – at least he hopes so. After he leaves, Josslyn tells Carly she couldn’t have been more embarrassing. Carly says she loves her daughter, whether she cares or not. Josslyn asks if she had to tells Oscar about her kidney, and Carly says that he should know if they’re going to be friends. Josslyn is excited that Carly is okay with it, and Carly says she likes him and he’s super cute. Josslyn thanks her.

Jason says if Valentin makes move against him, he’ll put him down. Valentin says he thought Jason believed him, but Jason says it’s not about Spencer.

Sonny tells the Garvinator don’t think of moving or he’ll die. Sam says she came for him. She tailed him, and he wasn’t careful. He tells her to call Jason and tell him what happened. Garvy moves, and Sonny shoots him. Sam draws her gun, and says Sonny’s not going anywhere. Rough day for sonny.

Nathan decides to get takeout. Mac leaves, and Nathan calls Amy. He’s glad that her brother’s surgery went well, but says they have a problem; it just got weird. Suddenly, Maxie is at the table, and says she couldn’t agree more.

Dante busts into the basement, and calls out for Spencer. He looks around, and finds Spencer’s broken glasses on the floor.

Valentin checks his phone. He’s gotten a text from Charlotte, who wonders when he’s coming back. He calls and leaves a voicemail saying he’ll see her soon and he loves her.

Josslyn talks to Oscar on the phone. She can’t believe her mom, but Oscar says she’s okay. He tells Josslyn that his mom is taking him to lunch, and they laugh about him eating a second time. Oscar wonders how he did with Carly, and Josslyn says she’s sorry – he passed. Again, that pause like they do on competition shows. She says Carly might even like him. He says he likes her too, and that he’s had the greatest day – he helped Spencer and they get to stay friends. Josslyn says for all he knows, she could be a terrible friend. He asks if they can meet at the bridge again, and she says the paddle boats would be fun. They talk about various summer activities they could do, and agree it will be the best summer ever.

Carly goes to Sonny’s place, and finds Jason. She asks if they found anything yet, and he tells her that he did. Valentin didn’t do it. She asks if he’s sure, and Jason says he is. He came to tell Sonny, but he went out forty minutes ago.

Sam tells Sonny to toss the gun. He puts it on the ground. He asks if Jason knows that she’s here. Sam says Jason isn’t coming to help him. Now now, or ever again. Now he dies.

Tomorrow, Maxie wonders what Nathan was talking about, Laura says no to something, and Sam says she has to take Sonny out.

The Real Housewives of the OC

At the party for Tamra’s grandson, Shannon tells Lydia that she got upset when Lydia said she was like Vicki. Lydia thinks it’s semantics, and Shannon isn’t hearing her. Tamra tries to intervene. Shannon tells Lydia that her mom said she was a bright light, and Lydia says she also called her a lost soul. In her interview, Shannon says Lydia judged her, and totally turns her words around. Shannon screeches that she’s done, and goes to her limo, where she tells David that Lydia said what she didn’t. David says he’ll get the kids, and they leave.

Lydia thinks it didn’t take long to find out about Shannon. She tells Tamra she’s not sure about going out on Thursday.

Peggy is in pain, and going through reconstructive surgery. She’s fighting for herself and her family. Her son’s name is Koko. Really? Do they know there’s a famous gorilla named Koko? Do the kids at school make fun of him? Sorry, but I’m a little stunned. She also has a teenage daughter, who has the normal name of Gianelle. Peggy says when she starts talking in Armenian, the kids know she’s serious. She’s going to the doctor for a follow-up visit. Her mother fought cancer for eight years before passing away, and she had a double mastectomy because she doesn’t want her kids to go through what she did.

Vicki checks out her new office with her business partner Ali. She can’t build the business with the vision she wants by herself. They discuss the renovation, and agree it’s expensive, but Ali says it’s definitely Vicki. She wants cameras set up, and Ali says they’ll make sure it’s secure. We see an article about an employee embezzling from her company. She says she’s been burned too many times from trusting people. She’s not going to get taken advantage of again, and nothing is getting in the way of her building her empire.

Kelly tries to smack fruit flies in her kitchen. Obviously not much going on in their house.

Tamra pets her Guinea pig, and I want one. It’s making those cute noises.

Peggy goes to the plastic surgeon. She explains how they put in expanders prior to reconstructive surgery. Breast implants are her next procedure, and she wonders if she can go bigger. Diko wants her to be comfortable with whatever size she chooses. Peggy says that from the outside, people think she has everything, but every family has a struggle. Their struggle is her. The doctor says women in her situation have the hardest decision to make, amputating part of the body when they’re still healthy. Diko tells us that Peggy is the sexiest person in the world, and with or without breasts, she’s his soulmate. Where are others like him? Note to self: Move to Armenia.

Lydia and Doug discuss the magazine. They go over the pictures of Peggy and Diko. Lydia says her role is bigger with this magazine, and it’s a lot of work. She doesn’t think they’ll be done in time, and it’s freaking her out that Doug is being cavalier. She doesn’t know how he’s so calm, when she’s a whirling dervish. They also have a party on Friday and the launch party coming up. She thinks Doug is too nice, and sometimes wants him to be like her cutthroat businessman father.

Tamra calls Lydia, who wonders what the what with Shannon. Tamra says she’s expressive, and it can be misconstrued. She tells Lydia that Vicki is like the devil to Shannon. Lydia says she’s not used to having “expressive” friends, and in her interview, says crazy is more like it. They discuss going to a restaurant called The Quiet Woman. Lydia says if she comes, she’ll bring Peggy.

Shannon calls Tamra, who’s still playing with the Guinea pig. We find out that his name is Charlie. She says it’s like having Sophia around. Shannon asks if the dinner is still on. Tamra says she talked to Lydia. She knows things got weird, and Shannon says she wasn’t expecting a comment like that. Tamra says Lydia did the worst thing she could possibly do in bringing up Vicki. Tamra tells Shannon that she explained things to Lydia. Shannon says she’s willing to try again, and asks if dinner is on. Charlie poops on the carpet. So, does Sophie do that?

Meghan cuddles baby Aspen. Jimmy brags about all the work he’s done around the house, and Meghan says that it’s too much house. They have to OC house up for sale; it turned out to be more than they needed. Haley has moved out, and Megan says that ideally, she’d live in a high-rise. She calls herself a granola mommy, and Jimmy wonders if granola mommies have designer purses. In her interview, Meghan says that it’s not fun to be single mom when he travels for work. She thinks babies see ghosts, because they just came from the spirit world, and have no preconceived notions. Okay.

Shannon goes to the wellness center. Tim, her holistic specialist, asks how she is, and says it’s not easy to come back. Tell me about it. The motivation alone is hard enough. He asks how she is, and Shannon says large. She says she’s been stressed, and tells him about the false allegations about David. In her interview, Shannon tells us that Tim’s focus is on having a healthy body. He asks what she’s at weight wise, and she says the scale isn’t her friend. We flash back to Tim telling her not to worry about numbers when she was 134. After she gets on the scale, the first thing he says is, wow, so you know it’s not good. He’s not as concerned with her weight as he is with her body fat percentage, which is 40%. Now I’m saying wow. He tells her that she’s sprinting to diabetes and heart disease. She’s 172 pounds, and she wails about having once been a size zero, and never being more than a four. Please. Tim takes pictures, and Shannon says she doesn’t know who she is; she doesn’t look at herself in the mirror. He asks how David feels, but she says that she’s not telling him, or she thinks he’ll be done. I’m guessing that since he sees her all the time, he knows. Tim asks Shannon how she and David are doing, and she says as he got more fit, she got more fat. Tim explains about fat being between you and everything else. Truth! In her interview, Shannon admits that she and David haven’t been intimate in a while. She asks Tim if it’s too late, and he says absolutely not. Every choice she makes now has to be a better one. Welcome to menopause, Shannon. Not to mention, she’s still a gorgeous woman.

Peggy, who has a bitchin’ black and white sportscar, picks up Lydia. Peggy drives fast too. Lydia tells Peggy that she invited Kelly, but she doesn’t get along with Shannon. Peggy asks what she means, but Lydia says she hasn’t seen them together, so she’s not sure. Kelly video chats with Lydia, and Lydia introduces her to Peggy at a red light.

On the way to the restaurant, Shannon tells Tamra about how fat she is. Tamra says it’s dangerous and unhealthy, and she wants to shake Shannon. Shannon says tonight is the last hurrah, and they’re taking it off the chain.

Lydia and Peggy arrive first. Lydia chooses her seat based on wanting an exit strategy. She tells Peggy not to mention Vicki. Her goal is to leave there being friends. Shannon and Tamra come in, and Lydia introduces Peggy. She says that she and Shannon were nearly neighbors, and Shannon talks about the house they built. She tells Peggy about wanting the house to be non-toxic, and doing special things to achieve it. Peggy says a humidifier in every room is good, and in her interview, Shannon thinks that Peggy is sweet, but her humor is off, and I’m not sure why talking about a humidifier is humorous. They order drinks. Tamra says she’ll have “a wine,” and I wonder what they’ll bring. Lydia wants to clear the air.

Shannon says that she and Lydia got off to good start, but she felt like she was attacked, and accused of being like person who hurt her. She says it was a bit of a shock. Lydia says it wasn’t her intention, and Tamra says she knows Lydia’s heart. In her interview, Peggy says it’s like watching a tennis match, and has no idea what they’re talking about. Shannon apologizes, saying she is expressive, and almost knocks Peggy’s glass over. She talks about going to the trainer, and tells everyone what she weighs. She says that Vicki told everyone that David was beating her. Peggy says that they joke about her husband beating her every Friday. No one laughs, but at least it’s clear to me that it’s a joke. Peggy wonders why Shannon lets it affect her. Appetizers are ordered. Tamra makes suggestions to Shannon about what to order, but she doesn’t want to hear it. Lydia asks about coming to Sterling’s party. She invites Shannon, but says that Kelly and Vicki will be there. Shannon has no desire to be there then.

Shannon goes to the bathroom, and Kelly walks into the restaurant. In her interview, Lydia says red flag, and at the restaurant, she jets to the bathroom. Too late. Shannon finds it ironic that it’s the first time she’s seen Kelly in six months, and promptly tells Kelly about gaining forty pounds. Kelly says she didn’t know they were going to be there, but we see a clip where Lydia told her where they’d be. By the time Lydia gets to the bathroom, Shannon is already wound up. Kelly says she wasn’t mean to her, but Shannon says Kelly surprised her. In her interview, Kelly says that she likes to push Shannon’s buttons; it makes her go off the rails. Shannon says she confided in Kelly, and doesn’t want to be painted as mean. Lydia says they’re fine, and wants them to hug it out, but Shannon goes on about her horrible day. Kelly says she lives across the street, and brought friends from Philly, since it’s her neighborhood bar. Kelly leaves, and Lydia asks Shannon if they’re okay. She tells Shannon to take a breath. She knows it seems big right now, but prays for the peace of Jesus to come to Shannon, and that she feels the love. Shannon says that Lydia is kind, and Lydia tells Shannon she’s okay.

Back at the table, Kelly shows up. She tells Tamra and Peggy what happened. Tamra explains that there’s bad blood between Kelly and Shannon. In her interview, Tamra says she doesn’t want to fight with Kelly, so WWJD, she’ll sweet talk her. Peggy says she didn’t know it was going to be a dinner and a show. On the way back to the table, Shannon insists she doesn’t give a flying about how she looks. Shannon tells Kelly that she’s surprised to see her there. The last time they met wasn’t the most pleasant experience, and seeing her was a shocker, when she’s been so cruel. Tamra wonders if they can get over it. Kelly says that Shannon is always upset or mad. Tamra says that’s not true, and drags Peggy into it by asking if Shannon was mad before Kelly came in. Peggy says Shannon was happy, and Kelly says it’s just nitpicking. Shannon says that Kelly has been nothing but disgusting, and tells her to move on. Kelly says maybe she needs hormones and to keep eating. Shannon curses her out, and tells her to read between lines giving her three fingers and then one. She tells Kelly to get out of her table [sic], reminding me of ♫ Hey, you! Get offa my cloud! ♫ Everyone is looking at this point, and Kelly gets up, and says keep eating. Shannon screams that it isn’t her f-ing plate, and throws it across the table. Whoever wasn’t looking before, is looking now, and the management is getting nervous. Shannon calls Kelly a bitch, and Tamra leads her away. Lydia is totally embarrassed. Tamra asks Shannon where she’s going, and they walk past Kelly, who’s laughing.

Outside, Lydia asks Peggy if she’s okay. Lydia never wants to come back to this restaurant again, or be with the two of them together again. In her interview, she says the first party she went to with this group was crazy. We flash back to a clip of Tamra screaming her head off at the table. She understands what Peggy must be thinking, and Peggy says it’s okay, and Kelly makes faces through the glass door. Peggy says all the yelling means they’re not in control, and it’s annoying.

Tamra tells Shannon that Kelly is an angry person, and she can’t let it get to her. Did anyone pay for the dinner? She asks Shannon not to beat herself up for getting emotional. She’s a good person, and Kelly can suck shweaty balls. Shannon is like, thanks for the visual, but laughs.

Next time, vaginal rejuvenation, and Ryan talks to Tamra about his stepfather.

🐮 I just love the good feeling that Sweet Home Oklahoma leaves me with. Tonight, Pumps gave her son, Sam, a driving lesson, telling us that she’d really like him in an armored vehicle. Josh wanted to do something special for Jennifer, since she’s been working so hard. He and the kids discussed it, and since she can buy what she wants, Josh decided to take a photo of the boys and Tubbers, putting it on canvas. Those are so cool! I have one of my dogs. He took the boys and Tubby to the studio for a shoot, and one of the boys teased Tubby with a laser pointer. It was the best! I’d forgotten how much fun that is, but I’ve always done it with cats. Jennifer thought the gift was darling, personal, and perfect. I agreed. It was a fabulous black and white shot. Josh had the kids make little speeches about how much they appreciate her, and thanked her for the best year of his life. We also saw other pictures of Josh and Tubby, and Tubby alone. The friends helped Pumps get a car for Sam’s birthday, and Lee and Jennifer took snaps of Tubbers driving it before Sam did. Next time, a 70s party at a skate park, and a lap dance. Love this show so much!

A Quote that Made Me Literally LOL

😭 Vicki made us all fat. – Isaac Mizrahi, on Watch What Happens Live

isaac-mizrahi

July 17, 2017 – Sonny Haunts Sam, Where Charm Ends Shep Begins, Awkward in the OC & a Little Oklahoma

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

The week is off to a great start. All of a sudden, I had no sound on my TV. (Please, God, anything but that.) It turned out to be a loose connection (probably due to the drilling, banging, and general aggravation of the atmosphere, with the workers building a new house across the street), and all is well now, but I had to watch GH on the FIOS website.  ♫ What I did for soaps… ♫

General Hospital

Sam tells Jason he doesn’t have to come with her to pick up her prescriptions. He says he wants to spend the day with her, and help her relax like the doctor said she should. Elizabeth comes by and says there’s an appointment cancellation. She asks if Sam wants to re-schedule her follow-up tests.

Carly visits Sonny. She wants him to put her wedding ring set back on her finger. She thought it was more than putting on a piece of jewelry; it’s renewing their commitment. He tells her to hold the thought.

Griff tells Ava she’s been released, but she doesn’t want to go. She says it’s too soon. He says she’s still healing, but no longer a risk for infection. She says she’s not letting Felix take her back to the penthouse. When he suggests going to Julian’s or Kiki’s place, she says that she’s not leaving the hospital.

Jordan calls Curtis and asks how Stella is. He says according to the doctors, she’s doing better. Since she flipped out on him about staying the night, he thinks they’re right; she’s getting back to her old self. Jordan says she wanted to spend time with TJ and give Stella some space. Curtis says he’ll make it up to her.

Andre runs into Anna at the station, where she’s following up on Valentin’s release. The charges have been dropped, and he’s a free man.

Laura walks through the park with Spencer and Charlotte. Spencer tells Laura that the original camp production was Cats until he convinced them otherwise. He says Cats has no narrative and just presents introductions of the characters until one is picked to die. Ha-ha! He’s right. He goes on about how great Hamlet is, and says that they have to do something to shock the audience. Valentin has been listening from behind a tree. He steps out, and says he couldn’t agree more. Charlotte runs to greet him.

Charlotte wonders where he was, and he says he had important business. Laura says he’s not supposed to be there. He says he’ll see Charlotte after camp, and Laura tells Spencer and Charlotte to go ahead. Laura tells Valentin that it was cruel to get Charlotte’s hopes up. He says he’s already petitioned the court about custody. Now that he’s been exonerated, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Charlotte asks Spencer why he’s so mean to her poppa, since he never did anything to him. Spencer tells her that Valentin murdered his father.

Andre asks if Anna is bothered by Valentin getting a free pass. She says he was lucky, and she hopes he takes advantage of making a new life for himself. If he goes back to his old ways, she’ll have to take him down. Andre says that’s the Anna he knows, and she’s a good dancer. He apologizes, but they agree that there’s no reason to be awkward around each other. Jordan appears, and thanks Anna for coming in. When Andre leaves, Jordan asks what she just walked in on.

Sonny says if he’s putting Carly’s rings back on, she has to do the same for him. He’s been keeping his ring in a box with his mother’s rosary, Stone’s medal, and Morgan’s watch; the things too precious for him to ever give away. Carly asks if they can promise to not focus on the bad, build on each other’s strength, and give the kids the best of them. Sonny promises. They both say they love each other with all their hearts, and for all their lives.

Ava tells Griff that it’s not the new normal, and she has no desire to make children cry like she did her own daughter. It’s best for everybody if she stays locked away.

Jason is surprised. Sam had told him she had the all clear, and said nothing about follow-up tests. Elizabeth apologizes; she didn’t know that Sam hadn’t told him. Sam says it’s convenient that her slip up caused an argument between her and Jason. While Sam mumbles about reporting Elizabeth, Jason steers her away. He says that Elizabeth’s mistake isn’t the issue, and asks why she lied.

Sonny says he’d love to celebrate, but it ain’t all good news. Ava isn’t going to be prosecuted. It’s just circumstantial and the DA thinks the jury will feel sorry for her. Carly is livid that Ava is getting away with her involvement in Morgan’s death. Sonny says they’ll have to make peace. She says if they can’t get justice from the system, they’ll have to get it themselves. Sonny says it’s over.

Griff tells Ava that appearance has nothing to do with her living a long and fulfilling life. She says, easy for him to say. He says she doesn’t have to go through it alone. He says he’s sending Felix in to get her ready.

Jordan tells Anna that she’s cool with her pursuing a relationship with Andre, but Anna says they’re just good friends. Jordan says she’s hoping things work out for somebody, since her life is way too complicated.

Felix chatters to Stella about Epiphany’s antics. Stella says if more orderlies told stories like him, she wouldn’t mind the hospital so much. He says Curtis just left, and he thinks it’s the first time since she got there. She says he and TJ are her only family. Felix remembers something, and brings in a bouquet of peonies. Stella tells him that she used to get bouquets like that from someone special.

Sam says she didn’t lie. The tests were just precaution. He asks why she cancelled, and she says something came up. He says she’s on edge and exhausted, and he wonders why she doesn’t want to find out what’s wrong. She says it’s her health, and she wanted to see how it went with rest and supplements before scheduling more tests. She says Jason has even climbed out of windows to avoid doctors, but he says they have kids now. He goes to the desk, and asks Elizabeth if she can schedule Sam. In her head, Sonny tells Sam she’d better get out of the exam.

Valentin asks Laura If she’s aware of the lawsuit. She says Spencer can never be compensated for the loss of his father, but it’s a start. He says there’s no proof that Nicholas is dead. He faked his death before, and could be doing it again. Valentin says he’ll protect what’s his by whatever means necessary.

Charlotte says Spencer is wrong. He says why she thinks her mother hates him so much – he killed her brother. Charlotte says he would never do that, and stomps off.

Ava tells Griff that she can’t do this. Here’s where the website decided I needed to sign in again. Even though I’d checked “keep me signed in.” Sigh.

Jordan tells Anna about Stella having a stroke, and it’s not the first one. She thinks the best thing she can do is stay far away. Anna asks why. Jordan says Stella hates her. She says after Thomas died, she had her first stroke, and had the second after Jordan and Curtis said they planned to stay together. Anna says maybe it’s not the reason, but Jordan says, maybe it is. She thinks she’ll be responsible if there’s another stroke that kills Stella.

Curtis wants to know about Stella’s admirer too, but Stella says it was just puppy love. Felix has to go, and says he’ll get the deets later. Curtis says he’s known her his whole life, and never thought about her life before then. She says kids never do. He says he’s not a child anymore, and asks who it was. She says it was long ago, and there’s no use dwelling on it. He says it was obviously important. She says his name was Marcus, and they went together when she was in college. He proposed, and she accepted. He asks why it never happened, and she says because of him.

Jason tells Sam that it won’t take too long. Hallucination Sonny says maybe they’ll find something wrong; maybe they’ll find out about him, and think she’s a crazy lady who sees things that aren’t there. Maybe they’ll lock her up. Jason asks if she’s okay.

Andre asks Ava for a moment of her time.

Stella tells Curtis that she dropped out of college and moved back to Baltimore. Curtis says it’s horrible; he never thought she gave up so much. He asks why Marcus didn’t come with her, but she says he had a job offer in San Francisco, so she had a choice to make. She could move to California, or be there for her family. In the end, it was no decision.

Griff is covering Dr. Bench’s patients. He says he looked at her chart, and wants to do neuroscans. He says it’s just a precaution to rule out anything serious.

Carly is surprised that Sonny wants to let it go. He says hell no, but she’s a better person than he is. She says to leave her out of it. He tells her that Avery will have to grow up knowing about Ava’s part in Morgan’s murder. Does Carly want her to find out that they had a part in Ava’s death. The only way to bear her is to not let her consume their thoughts. Carly says before she lets it go, she wants to visit Morgan’s grave.

Andre tells Ava to give him a call, and wishes her good luck finding her place in the world.

Charlotte runs to Valentin. Laura asks what happened, and she says, him, pointing to Spencer. Spencer says he just told her the truth – her father killed his father.

Ava tells Felix she’d like to make a stop first. You know where she’s going, right? I’ll bet you a million bucks it’s the cemetery.

Anna has a doctor’s appointment, and Jordan thanks her for the talk, saying it felt like old times. Anna tells her to remember that they’re friends, and asks if it helped. Jordan says she’s spent months pushing Curtis away, and not dealing with her feelings. Maybe she’s using Stella to do that again. Anna says to call Curtis and tell him how she feels. They hug and get all mushy about their friendship.

Curtis says that Stella sacrificed her future for theirs. She says she wouldn’t change a thing; it was the most rewarding experience of her life. His phone rings. It’s Jordan, and Stella tells him to take it, but he says he’s here with her now. She says she’ll try to make peace with “that woman’s” role in his life. She’ll have to learn to control her temper, but all she ever wanted was for him to be happy.

Charlotte says Spencer is lying. Spencer says he’s not. Laura wants Charlotte to go back to camp, and says they’ll deal with it later. Spencer thinks Valentin should answer the question. Valentin says it’s a complicated, grown-up matter, but Spencer says, not so complicated; he just has to tell the truth and admit what he did. Valentin tells Charlotte something in French, and she leaves. He asks Spencer if he’s proud of himself, hurting Charlotte to get to him. Laura tells Spencer to go with Charlotte, and Valentin asks Laura if this was her plan all along – to use Spencer. She says she’s not happy about it. but he’s just a kid who told the truth, and Valentin has no one to blame but himself. He calls Spencer spoiled and over-indulged, and says Spencer has hurt his daughter, and he’s not letting it happen again.

Curtis apologizes for causing Stella stress with his relationship. She says it’s the sacrifice you make for family. Jordan calls again, and she tells him to take it or she’ll just keep calling. He goes in the hallway. Jordan asks if he wants to have dinner and talk. He thinks it’s a good idea. Hmm… I’m not liking the way he said that.

At the gravesite, Carly talks to Morgan. She says they miss him every day. Sonny says they found out what happened, and know he was following his program. He’s proud of how Morgan fought his disease. He wishes he’d been there for him to protect him. Carly says they didn’t do a good job of making it right, and the pain got the best of them. Sonny says it’s over, and they’re moving forward. He wants Morgan to know he’s getting out of the business, and he’s going to make Morgan’s brothers and sisters happy. He tells Morgan that he loves him, and Carly says they miss him every minute of every day, but he’s still with them, and gives them strength. Behind them, Ava walks into the cemetery.

Sam says she’s glad to get the tests out of the way, and Griff says that he’ll call with the results. They’ll have clear picture of what’s going on. Griff turns into Sonny, and says they won’t stop until they find her weakness and lock her up. If she’s going to eliminate him, do it now.

Spencer tells Charlotte that he wasn’t trying to upset her, but she says he was. Spencer is told that play practice is beginning soon, and he says he needs time to gather his thoughts to talk to the director. He sits on a bench, rehearsing, and suddenly someone from behind puts a hood over his head.

Tomorrow, Laura attacks Valentin, Sonny tells Ava that she’s not walking away from Morgan’s death, and Julian is told that Ava has been released.

Southern Charm – Reunion Part Two

Kathryn brings up Thomas staying at Jennifer’s house. He insists he slept on the couch. He says he thought they had an agreement to protect her. If she keeps it up, she’ll never work in this town again, and it’s not going to be pretty. She says she’ll wait for him to calm down. I have no idea what this is about, but Thomas is clearly overreacting.

Andy says there was a lot of negative feedback about Kathryn’s treatment of Jennifer, and how not everything is about her. We see the clip of Jennifer telling Kathryn about Ascher having surgery. Kathryn says that Jennifer was crying about her son, and suddenly switched subjects. (Note: When watching this a second time, I can totally see how Kathryn would think she was being fake and using the moment for sympathy. She could very well be one of those people who gets hooked on the attention.) Jennifer says she would never be manipulative that way. Kathryn says she doesn’t want negativity and would like apologies from those who have wronged her. Jennifer says Kathryn owes her an apology, and she says she already apologized, and apologizes again. She says that she’d like to resolve their issues, and Andy asks Jennifer if she sees the friendship getting back on track. She uses a lot of words to say that she does. Kathryn doesn’t want to cry anymore, and suggests they move on. Exit Jennifer.

Whitney takes her place. We talk about Thomas’s parenting skills. Thomas says he’s embraced it. He spent years being selfish, and you can’t be that way when you’re a parent. He talks about buying a new home, and wanting a kid friendly place. Kathryn tears up hearing about a swing set and pool, but says she’s okay. Other viewers aren’t as generous, because it looks like the kids are being raised by nannies. Thomas’s dating life is brought up. He says the girls are either too young or too old. Andy points out that Thomas is in his 50s. Everyone wonders what mojo actually is.

Andy asks Cameran if there’s a double standard about dating someone younger, and she says when you’re thirty, if you’re a woman, you’re over the hill. Landon’s dislike of the website meeting is covered. Shep says that he was told she was acting out-of-sorts and not behaving well. Landon talks about being sexually harassed by being asked to put on a mini skirt. He says if he’s wrong, sorry, but he went on the information he had. He apologizes. Andy wonders if she sets herself up for criticism. Austen starts to answer, and Landon interrupts. Andy says there were a lot of gold-digger comments, and Cameran says it’s easy for people to misinterpret Landon. Shep says he often hopes she won’t say the things she does. Landon admits to pretentious obnoxious conversation, but says it’s just friendly banter to say things like Vale is a truck stop.

Thomas saying that Landon was marriage material is brought up. He says he wasn’t jumping to her being his wife. We flash back to that drunk woman who said they were soulmates in the restaurant. How much was she paid? Andy claims it wasn’t a plan, and Landon says the woman’s son was mortified. The Valentine’s weekend is mentioned, and Kathryn says it was just a gut feeling that Thomas and Landon hooked up. Landon says the whole thing is false, and it wasn’t even Valentine’s Day. We flash back to Cameran taking Kathryn’s side about it, and Cameran says she would have used more discretion. Andy asks if Kathryn still believes something went on. She does, but doesn’t care anymore.

We see the clip of Landon insulting Kathryn in Key West. Landon says she doesn’t really believe the things she said, and wants Kathryn to be happy and have her kids with her. We move on to Landon’s apology at the dinner. Kathryn thinks they weren’t genuine then, but are now, calling a truce. Andy asks about Landon saying that Thomas uses her as a weapon against Kathryn. Kathryn thinks that’s true to a point, since he knew it would bother her. The next clip is the breakfast in the Keys where Landon stood up for Kathryn. Landon says she lived that [with her husband], and felt sympathy. Thomas says he was attacked and he counter-attacked, but she didn’t see the original attack. I roll my eyes so far back, I can see behind me. He insists that no one knows the whole story, but he should have kept his mouth shut. Andy asks if Landon was surprised at Thomas’s reaction, and she says no; he’s sensitive. Aww! A mini discussion on Pride and Prejudice happens, and Thomas acknowledges being thin-skinned. Andy asks if Landon’s defense of Kathryn changed Kathryn’s mind, and Kathryn says she felt that Landon had the ability to be genuine, and it meant a lot. Andy asks where Thomas and Landon stand, and Thomas says they’re friends. Landon says they went to a wedding together recently as friends, and Whitney makes a hand gesture, asking if they…

How old are we?

The topic of Cameran trying to hook Shep up with Chelsea is next, and Chelsea joins the group. She was a finalist on Survivor. I never knew that, and wonder if it was a season that I saw. She says she had a harder time watching this show, especially with her family. No kidding. Cameran says she was trying to set them up for years. Chelsea says she’s known Shep longer than any of the others. She says he’s a party boy whose gotten work. A viewer asks if Cameran really has feelings for Shep, because of their chemistry, but she says he’s like a brother and she farts in front of him. Shep says he dated Chelsea’s roommate, but when he saw Chelsea, thought he got the wrong roommate.

Shep’s drinking is discussed. Chelsea says Cameran sees lunch date Shep when the rest of them see late night Shep. We see a clip of Austen stumbling over telling Shep that he and Chelsea are dating. Excuse me, hanging out. Andy asks why Cameran thought Shep was the one, but she says she didn’t realize Austen was even interested. Andy asks Chelsea what Austen has that Shep doesn’t. She says it was more endearing and felt more genuine when Austen pursued her. A viewer thinks she’s playing them against each other, but she says it’s not her intention. Andy asks if she’s being held to a double standard and Kathryn thinks she is.

The Shep almost kiss is next. We see the clip of Chelsea telling Austen about it. Shep insists he wasn’t as insistent as is being claimed. He says he’s a gentle person, but maybe impatient. He says he was uncool, but both Austen and Chelsea had sworn they weren’t serious, and Cameran thought so too. He says if he had thought something was going on, he wouldn’t have done it. Andy asks if he thought Austen and Landon had an attraction. Shep says he thought where there’s smoke, there’s fire, because they Facetime so often. Austen and Landon both insist they’ve only just been friends. Kathryn says it’s another situation where Landon doesn’t think she did anything wrong, but it’s questionable. Landon thinks it’s Kathryn’s insecurities talking, but she says that’s not the case. Chelsea thinks Landon was definitely flirting with him, and Kathryn says if that’s what she’s feeling, she’s probably right.

Andy wants to set things straight about Craig and Shep’s near fight. Shep says he wanted to know what Craig’s motives were, and thinks Craig deliberately went after him. We see the clip of Shep saying that trying to kiss Chelsea was a test, but Shep says he was just being funny. Whitney says when he tried to kiss his girlfriend, she just laughed. Kathryn wonders what Chelsea feels, and she says that Shep has a sense of entitlement. Whitney says he is who he is, and Chelsea says that because he’s Shep, he can be disrespectful. It’s agreed that Shep shouldn’t get a pass. Andy asks if people are overreacting to his aggression. Chelsea doesn’t think so, but also thinks it’s been easy for him. She’s not saying he’s a monster, but drunk Shep is different. Andy asks the women if they have anything to say. Cameran says most of the time it works for him.

We see the clip where Shep says Austen is like a brother. Shep says he’d be very upset to lose him as a friend. Austen says he was glad when everyone made it right. Andy asks if Austen and Chelsea are still together, but that’s a no. She wouldn’t say no to reconciliation though. Craig says everyone makes up at the reunions, and after one of them, a child was conceived. Chelsea leaves the group.

Andy asks about Shep missing the flight. He says he didn’t want to let go of the Key West feeling, and we see a clip of him drunk before they left. Cameran says a stranger approached her at the airport, and said her friend took a fry off of his plate. Shep says he was in dire straits. Craig asks if Shep thinks he would have been arrested if Craig hadn’t helped him. Austen was surprised he got through security at all. Shep tells him to keep his mouth shut. Andy is like, what did you just say?

Craig says, no, that’s how you get through security, by keeping your mouth shut. Andy asks Cameran if she thinks Shep admitting that he doesn’t feel anything for anyone is a cry for help. Shep insists that he’s happy. Craig reads him as searching for a purpose. Shep says the grass is always greener, but even his friends who have families have moments. Yoda Shep says that life is peaks and valleys, ups and downs, and he’s okay with that. Craig says what if he said that, and he continued to impose himself when not asked for advice. Shep says Craig is delusional while he’s introspective. Craig keeps saying that he’s killing it, and it’s not real. Craig says it is for him, and he roots for people, unlike Shep. Andy wonders about their hostility toward one another. Shep says neither one of them will ever admit they’re wrong. Craig says he gets annoyed, but doesn’t take it personally. Shep says he thinks Craig is over sensitive, and needs to be told he’s great all the time. Craig says that’s not accurate, and he’ll change “killing it” to “being really happy.” As usual. Shep talks over Craig. Craig says there’s a difference between life is perfect and being happy. He says he lets Shep be a drunk a-hole, and doesn’t get involved in his life, and Shep says, no, you. Andy says they’re both drunk a-holes. Kathryn says everyone can be a drunk a-hole, and it sounds like her and Thomas.

Moving on to Saint’s birthday party. Thomas felt that Kathryn was in a good place. Andy says there’s an intensity when Thomas looks at Kathryn. She says they’ve been through a lot, and have two children. She feels that she understands him better than he does himself in some ways. Andy talks about their exchange at Thomas’s, that he supposes led to a kiss. Craig says they still have chemistry. Thomas tries to make it like it was a kiss on the cheek. Andy asks if they’ll get back together, and Kathryn says she was expecting that question. Thomas talks about seeing her, wondering who the beautiful woman was, and realizing that it was her. After which, he booked.

Andy asks if Craig would have finished law school sooner if everyone had stayed off of his back, and he says yes. He hopes things work out with Naomie. Landon’s website is starting to make money, but she’s also renewed her real estate license, and will be working part-time for her dad. Translation: Thomas probably bought some advertising. Andy asks if Cameran will have time for her man babies once she has a real one, and she tells him she’ll do her best. Thomas says that his father says it’s a good day when he reads the newspaper from cover to cover, and Thomas isn’t in it. Andy asks Kathryn what advice she’d give to her younger self, and she says, don’t believe everything you’re told. Shep has a spin-off show coming up called Relationshep, where he goes on a search for love. I’ll bet he’s no Flava Flav though. Shep says his time is now. Andy hopes for everyone’s personal growth. Thomas makes a stupid rhyming toast, and we’re out. Why was Whitney even there?

👦 There was preview for Relationshep, where Shep tours the country, meeting women his friends have picked out. If any of them click with Shep, they’ll be invited back to Charleston.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Feng shui expert, Elaine, visits Shannon. She says Shannon doesn’t want to bring the old energy or whatever into the new house. Shannon says they’ve used Elaine for years. How’s that workin’ for ya? Shannon thinks it was getting better in the old house, but there was too much stress. She brings up Vicki making allegations that David beat her. Elaine says the relationship energy isn’t good, because there’s a toilet in her relationship area. What does that mean? Shannon says some relationships need to go down the drain.

Vicki and assistant Linda are packing up the office. Vicki says her to-do list is making her crazy. It’s the same as a house, times a hundred million. I once was moving to a new apartment at the same time my office was moving. Vicki ain’t got nothin’ on me. Vicki told Steve that he might not want to be around for a while because she could lose her mind. Linda says her office was the best according to Feng shui expert. Vicki says how stupid it was, and Linda says they had to keep buying oranges. We flash back to the whole nine lemons thing from Shannon’s first season. I guess you can use oranges too. Elaine talks about appliances being male and female, and some yin and yang stuff. In her interview, Shannon says her refrigerator has two doors, so maybe it swings both ways. BA-DUM-CHH! Sometimes Shannon can be funny.

Baby Aspen is cranking up, but Meghan gets a smile out of her. She says her life is no longer hers. She and Jim get all of the baby gear into the car. In her interview, Meghan says that motherhood is special, and lovely, and unlike anything she imagined. Then she laughs. Jim drives as Meghan blabs about the girls. She’s been trying to focus on what’s important, like getting sleep. She says she feels like she’s in the middle too much, and Jim asks what they’re having for dinner, because he’s such a good listener.

Lydia goes to a photo shoot. She and Doug have a new magazine called Nobleman about what it’s like to be today’s man. They sold their shares in Beverly Hills Lifestyle to their partner, and this one is just theirs. They take an editor’s photo. Lydia says that Doug owns 51%, so he’s technically her boss, but they know who pulls the strings. They also have pictures taken of a couple who are being featured. It’s new Housewife Peggy, and her husband Diko. Peggy has just had a preventative mastectomy because her mother died of breast cancer. Lydia isn’t sure what to say, since it’s a lot to hear when first meeting someone. She tells Peggy if she’s looking for a distraction, she should meet Lydia’s friends.

Tamra is planning a birthday party for one-year old granddaughter, Ava. It’s at a ranch that has small wildlife preserve. Tamra says that Sarah and Ryan either love or hate each other, and she’s staying out of it. They check out some beer at the bar. Tamra talks to Sarah about Shannon and Briana have been invited. Tamra says it’s becoming awkward after what she went through with Vicki. We flash back to Tamra screaming at Vicki two inches from her face. Oddly enough, Tamra didn’t want to see Vicki’s face, so she cut ties with Briana on social media without explanation, because she’s an immature moron.

Kelly and Michael are going to work out. She says last year they weren’t in a good place, but it’s better now. They’re trying to work together in a positive way. Michael drives like a reckless idiot, and Kelly says they almost got killed. They manage to get to the gym and do some “basic crawling.” In her interview, Kelly says they’re working out three times a week together, which is about all she can handle. They do all kinds of weird, but fun-looking exercises. She says she can relate to Shannon working on the relationship, and marriage is hard work.

Sophie is having her make-up done. Shannon says last year, they were on the playground, and now it’s her winter formal. She tells Sophie to cross her ankles if she sits, because her dress is so short. Shannon is putting food together for the parents. Shannon hopes cotillion has helped hone Sophie’s manners. Sophie tells her not to start crying. We see a picture of Sophie as a toddler, and Shannon insists she’s not crying. In her interview, she says it’s hard watching them grow up, but she’s proud. She feels guilty about exposing them to marital issues, but says they did okay. Whatever she’s making burns, and she has to start over. She eats a piece of bread and justifies it.

The girls come out in their dresses, and they all look gorgeous. Lots of black lace going on. David thinks Sophie should cover up. She says everyone thinks her mom is cool, but she doesn’t. Pictures are taken, and the dates arrive. Shannon has to encourage everyone to say hello. More pictures are taken, and the kids leave.

Peggy is having a family luncheon. She says she was born in Kuwait, but moved here when she was two, and she’s lived in the OC for ten years. Diko helps her prepare the lunch. She tells us they’ve been married 21 years. He lived in Beirut, doing amazingly well, but had to start over again after the war, and has built an empire from nothing. He’s a car freak, and she doesn’t even know how many they have. The guests arrive. She tells us that Armenian families are all about sticking up for each other and good food. They seem like a really cool couple. Peggy is doing well after her surgery, but says what people don’t see is what she’s gone through over the years. We see a clip of her explaining how, because of her mother’s history, the doctors decided to be aggressive. Diko presents her with a 21 karat diamond necklace that cost $85K, because he’s so grateful that God has helped her through this.

Vicki and Steve visit Briana. Briana tells Vicki she’s going to Ava’s birthday party. In her interview, Vicki says in the past, Tamra has tried to drive a wedge between them, but no one can ever do that. Briana says if there’s any problem, she’ll just leave. We see clips from last season, and Briana says it’s a weird spot for her to be in.

The bounce house is set up, and the party begins. The theme is unicorn, and the food is too cute. Unicorn lollipops and such. Like this kid is ever going to remember it. Cool! Lydia’s mom is here! We see a clip of her telling Lydia that God created marijuana and it’s like an aspirin. Tamra stresses about Briana, who says they’re mutually avoiding each other. She thinks her mom and Tamra should talk about their feelings. Good luck with that. Judy fairy dusts people. I missed her. Briana leaves because the party is getting awkward.

Shannon arrives, and Tamra asks if she’d like to get fairy dusted. David finds Eddie and the barbecue, and Shannon says they won’t see him again. Lydia meets Shannon, who says Tamra is one of her closest friends. Lydia says she knew Tamra when she was close to Vicki, but Vicki gave her an update. In her interview, Shannon wonders why Vicki is still talking about her, and thinks she’s obsessed. This is hysterically funny, coming from the person who can’t stop yapping about how Vicki made her gain weight. Lydia introduces Shannon to her mom. Judy tells Shannon that they’re energy is in tune and she has a bright light, then throws some confetti. The unicorn cake comes out, and happy birthday is sung. Tamra wishes Sydney was there, but says maybe next year.

Lydia tells Tamra about her dinner with Vicki. Tamra says her issues are her own. Shannon tells her that Vicki made horrible allegations about her husband. Lydia thinks they’re acting almost the same as Vicki, and Shannon takes offense. Lydia says that Vicki was hurt too. Shannon says she lied about her boyfriend having cancer, and was in on the lie. She’s just mad because she was called out on it. Shannon says that Vicki hurt her kids, and all the weight she’s gained is stress and Vicki. In her interview, Lydia thinks that Shannon took crazy pills. Shannon says that she’s not cruel to Vicki, but she will call her out. Okay. Tamra says that Shannon is expressive and emotional. You know where you stand, but sometimes she needs to calm down. Doug comes by, and Lydia says he’s literally Prince Charming saving her from the evil witch. Tamra wants Shannon and Lydia to get along because they both have good hearts, but this didn’t go well. Lydia tells her mother that Shannon screamed at her, which is a bit of an exaggeration. Judy says that Lydia is the friend whisperer, and calls Shannon a lost soul.

Shannon tells Tamra that she’s sorry she offended her friend, but she’s going to defend herself. Lydia is leaving, and Tamra tells her that Shannon is upset because she reminded her of Vicki. Even though Shannon is right there, stuffing her face. Lydia asks if she can’t talk to her herself, and tells Shannon that she just met her, and she’s getting screamed at. Tamra says that Shannon is just passionate, and Shannon says she didn’t raise her voice. Lydia starts to say something, but Shannon says she doesn’t know her and won’t listen. She keeps repeating that she’s not like Vicki. Lydia says she thinks it’s semantics. She says she doesn’t want to hang out if she’s going to be attacked. Shannon says talk to her mom, who said she has a bright light. Lydia says her mom also said that Shannon was also a lost soul. Shannon says she’s done.

Next time, more Peggy, Shannon works out, Kelly and Shannon see each other again, and Shannon gets out of control at a restaurant called The Quiet Woman.

🐮 Love, love, love Sweet Home Oklahoma. Tamra should look to Pumps as a great example of a Christian. This week, when replacing Jennifer’s shoes with Pumps’s Crocs proved too ambitious, Pumps TP’d her house. Jennifer consulted a pet psychic about Tubbers, and the girls went to a Pride parade. And they gave me a couple of good quotes.

We support all the letters. – Jennifer

It’s more fun to be a non-practicing lesbian for a day with Pumps, than go on a blind date from a dating app. – Lee

SweetHomeOklahomaTubbers

Tubbers – glamour shot

 

July 10, 2017 – Good News Bad News in PC, a Reunion with Charm Begins, the OC Wives are Back & Oklahoma Returns

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Nina reads over the Man Landers interview. She says too bad Man Landers is a fraud and fictional. She looks at her rings, and says that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Everyone is watching the fireworks grand finale at the MetroCourt. Sonny’s phone rings. He tells Carly that Avery’s nanny just showed up, and no one is at her house. Carly wonders if there was something lost in the translation, but he says Josslyn isn’t home.

Josslyn is still with Oscar on the footbridge. He says he needed a break from everything, and she’s the only one he wanted to talk to. She tells him how happy she was to get his text. She suddenly sees the time, and says the nanny is probably there already. Carly calls, but she lets it go to voicemail. Carly texts where are you? and Josslyn says she’s going to be killed.

Carly asks Sonny, what if something is really wrong? What if there was an accident? Sonny says they’ll say their good-bys, and he’ll drive her home.

Oscar offers to take the heat, but Josslyn says it’s her fault. She knew what she was doing. She tells him that it’s the first time she’s felt normal in a long time. Oscar says him too.

Sonny tells Olivia that there’s a problem with the nanny and Avery, and they have to go. He asks to talk to Olivia privately. He tells her that she deserves everything, and he’s glad she found it; Ned is a lucky man. They watch Charlotte laughing with Dante and Laura. She says they didn’t do too badly. it’s been a wild ride, but she wouldn’t change a thing. Before he leaves, Sonny tells Ned to take good care of her.

Michael tells Nelle don’t even think his parents are leaving because of her. She says she wasn’t going to say that, she was going to tell him that she’s starving. She says that she appreciates him inviting her, and he thanks her for saying yes. They kiss.

Charlotte says it’s the best night ever, and she gets to stay up late. She talks about them being a family.

Nina needs a drink.

Monica makes a toast on behalf of the Quartermaines, welcoming Olivia to the family. Dillon says his mom can’t be there, but is in spirit – and in gift. He has Ned and Olivia hold up the glasses. Dillon says he’s the best man, but really Ned is – kind compassionate, and a legitimate rock star. He was worried that Ned was going to die a spinster. He wonders what the male equivalent is, but Ned says they get the point. Dillon thanks Olivia for being amazing, and bringing a smile back to Ned. He toasts to a lifetime of love and laughter for the couple.

Ned is honored that Olivia has decided to take his name. He says the first Mrs. Edward Quartermaine was a great and gracious lady, and can’t think of anyone better to follow in her footsteps.

Nina comes in, and Charlotte runs to her. Charlotte asks if she’s here for the wedding, but Nina says she didn’t know it was going on. Nina tells Olivia that she came by mistake; she just wanted a drink. They invite her to join the party.

Dillon announces Mr. and Mrs. Edward Quartermaine, and they have their first dance. There’s a song part, but hopefully no one gets busy on the dance floor. Nina asks Charlotte if she likes where she’s living, and Charlotte says it’s been really good. She wishes her father would come back though, so the three of them can be family. Nelle and Michael tell Charlotte what a wonderful flower girl she was, and Nelle thanks Nina for the dress. They take the dance floor. Charlotte asks Nina if she’s going to dance. She says she has to go, but she’s glad to see Charlotte.

Josslyn asks Carly how the wedding was, and Carly says great, until they found out she wasn’t there. Josslyn says she just stepped out for a moment, and acts like she never got the call or text. Stupid phone!

Dante tells Charlotte that he usually dances with Lulu, but she’s not there right now, so would she dance with him? She says her poppa taught her, and they dance with her feet on his. Nina watches for a moment, downs some more of her drink, and leaves. Doc walks in and surprises Laura, who thought he was working. He says when he went home to change he realized he was missing something – her grandson.

Carly tells Josslyn they need to talk. Josslyn says she told Carly she was sorry, Avery is fine, what else is there? Carly wants to know where she was.

Doc shows Laura a text. Spencer has gone to get proof of his inheritance, and will see them on the flipside. Doc wonders where Spencer would go, and Laura asks if he feels like taking a boat ride.

Josslyn tells Carly that she was going crazy, while her friends were out doing what they wanted. Carly says maybe her friends didn’t have a party with boys and alcohol. She just wants Josslyn to be honest, and Josslyn says she went for a walk, alone, and lost track of time. She wonders if she’s going to be grounded for life now, and says Carly makes the same mistakes over and over again, and calls it true love.

Ned tells the guests that their hearts are full, and Olivia seconds that. They tell everyone how much they love them, and Olivia gets ready to throw the bouquet. Charlotte makes Nelle join them, and Kiki grabs Monica. Kiki catches the bouquet, and quickly hands it to Charlotte when she sees Dillon looking at her.

Nina goes to Windemere. She asks if anyone is there, but it looks desolate. She thinks about Christmas, and tells herself to get her things and get out. Spencer walks in. She asks what he’s doing there, and says he scared her. He says he thought no one was home. She tells him that she’s staying at the MetroCourt, but came to get her things. He says her timing is perfect; now he can have a witness. He found a locked box under his father’s bed, and thinks it might be the answer to the true will.

Laura and Doc come in, looking for Spencer. Laura apologizes to Nina; she can’t believe this is happening again. Spencer says he sent a text, and Laura says he can text her when he’s eighteen. He tells her about the box. She says it’s become an obsession, and tells him put it down; they’re going home. Doc thinks he should open it – with Nina’s permission – or they’ll never hear the end of it. Spencer picks the lock, having learned it in boarding school, and Doc says money well spent. Spencer takes out a document, but it’s in Greek. Doc has a passing knowledge of the language, and says that it’s the last will and testament of Mikkos Cassadine.

Carly says that Josslyn will make mistakes, that’s what being an adult is all about. She tells Josslyn that she made even worse mistakes when she was young. Josslyn asks if that makes her smarter, and Carly tells her that she never said she was smarter, but she’s more experienced. She says what she knows for sure, is that she wants Josslyn to make better decisions than she did. Josslyn says what about Sonny, and Carly says not everything is about him. She says that Josslyn’s feelings are hers, but what she does affects all of them. Josslyn asks why Carly gets a free pass. Sonny walks in, and surprises her by saying she’s right.

Spencer says this is the real will, but Doc tells him that it’s just a copy of the one leaving everything to Valentin. Laura says he has to face the truth, and Spencer quotes Hamlet. Laura says they’re performing it at Lila’s Kids. Spencer tells them that he plays the prince whose father was killed by his uncle, and asks if they see a parallel. Nina says she’s sorry, and he shouldn’t be expected to understand. She says she’ll make sure that he can come to Windemere whenever he wants, and even ride her horse. Laura says he has a home with her and Doc, and it’s time to go there. She apologizes for the intrusion, but Nina understands.

Dante thanks Olivia for an amazing life. Everything she did was for him and it’s finally her time. He wants her to enjoy it. She tells him that he’s the best gift she’s ever been given, and he’s the favor to her; she wouldn’t change anything. She says he’s the best son anyone could want, and she found the man of her dreams when she was ready to be with him. They hug. Dante tells Ned to take care of her.

Ned asks if she’s ready to do this, and Olivia says lead the way. Everyone blows bubbles at the happy couple, and they get in the elevator and kiss.

Sonny says he gets that Josslyn is upset, and Josslyn says upset is an understatement. Sonny tells her that he messed up, did something terrible to her dad, and she hates him. He says someone does something to his family, and he wants to retaliate, but Josslyn tells him not to pretend they’re alike. She says she used to look up to him. He insists it’s different now, but he knows she won’t believe it until he proves it. He can’t take back what he did, but doesn’t want her punishing Carly for something that’s his fault.

At the Crimson office, Nelle tells Michael that she doesn’t want to return the dress. He offers to buy it for her, but she says it belongs to the designer, and her coach is turning back into a pumpkin. He says Cinderella has nothing on her. She asks if he had fun, and he says the night isn’t over. She says it is for her shoes, and he asks if she wants to keep them on longer, and kisses her. I don’t want to know.

Ned brings Olivia to their honeymoon suite. The bed is covered with rose petals. He says he’s the luckiest man on the planet, and Olivia says she’s the lucky one. They get busy.

Nina wanders around, picking up a sweater, and putting it on. She wonders if Valentin is even alive, and says she misses him. She lies down on the sofa.

Dante answers the phone. He tells them to say it again, adding that it’s not possible. Hmm… Valentin has escaped? Or made to disappear?

Sonny appreciates Josslyn hearing him out, and hopes she forgives him one day. Carly says to leave Avery there, since she’s asleep. She apologizes for the night ending the way it did, and thanks Sonny for being open with Josslyn. He asks if she thinks it’s working, and Carly says to give her time; she’ll come around.

Josslyn gets a text from Oscar asking if she’s okay. She says she is now.

Nelle and Michael get busy. In the office. She says they should probably stop, but they don’t. Olivia and Ned are also still getting busy. The song part covers both couples.

Spencer is on the footbridge. Laura says it’s late they should go, but he wants to be alone with his thoughts. Laura and Doc wait in the car. Spencer says the law may be on Valentin’s side, but he doesn’t care. No matter where he is, no matter how long it takes, Spencer will fight for his inheritance, and claim what’s his. He tears up the will, and throws it into the water.

Lulu asks Dante if everything is okay. He says fine. Lulu is bummed she missed the wedding, and he says they have to talk. Geez, they’re not even trying to hide Emme Rylan‘s (Lulu) pregnancy anymore. Dante tells her that it’s bad news.

Nina sleeps. The door opens. Someone stands next to her. She sits up and says, OMG.

Tomorrow, Anna and Andre talk, Lulu asks how this happened, and Obrecht asks if she’s going to be burned at the stake or drawn and quartered.

Southern Charm – Reunion Part One

Considering we left the season on a really weird note – for one thing, Landon sticking up for Kathryn – this should be interesting.

OMG – Kathryn’s dress!  It’s a red lace confection with bows everywhere, and looks amazing with her red hair. It’s one of those things that not everyone could pull off, but I love it on her. I’d add a little Steampunk to it though.

First, we find out that Craig has passed the bar. (Cue the fireworks, marching band, and flags.) He wonders what they’ll talk about now. Cameran’s pregnancy – it’s a girl! – is discussed. She talks about the rocky road to mentally get there, but says it happened so quickly, her husband asked if she was cheating. She thinks it’s weird, and that she won’t get attached until the baby is in her hands.

Andy asks if Craig has always been a hobbyist. Craig talks about taking home-ec in school. I didn’t know those classes still existed, but I’m impressed. Shep thinks Craig might go into gardening law. Ha-ha! Craig’s fudging about taking the bar is discussed. Craig says in his head, he always thought he’d fix it before anyone found out. He says that Shep was more berating this year, but Shep says that he wants everyone to succeed, and doesn’t know how to handle these things. He didn’t want to rain on Craig’s parade, but didn’t know he was in the middle of one. Craig says that Shep is a huge parade rainer. We move to some insults from Thomas, and Cameran calls Craig girly, but in a good way. Craig as mediator is brought up. Shep says he can never say what he needs to, and Craig says that’s because Shep doesn’t let him talk.

Andy brings up Naomie’s distain for Craig’s meddling. Craig says Naomie acted like he had no good traits. He didn’t understand why she was with him, but Shep thinks a significant other should give you a hard time.

Commercial break – Valerian looks amazing! Huge strange monsters, lots of morphing, and girls kicking ass. I’m in.

Andy calls Craig a jack of all trades, and master of none. I’m not sure why, since he wasn’t a big flop with that onesie. He says that Craig hasn’t mastered relationships either, and Naomie is brought out. They talk about how they met, and how long it took them to actually go out. The cheese vs. oral sex debate is discussed, and Andy wonders what’s wrong that Craig likes cheese better. Naomie says she might answer the same way. Go cheese!

We move on to their fights, and watch some clips. Bleepity-bleep-bleep-bleep. Craig says fighting with her was the worst, and he has no explanation. Shep points out that she wasn’t airing laundry, but voicing concerns, but Craig took it as a betrayal. Shep thinks Craig wants secrecy, not loyalty. Naomie says he’d told her everything before they started dating. She says Craig wants a ride or die girl, but she wants to know where they’re riding and why they have to die. That’s actually quite interesting, since it does seem like people are one way or the other – either they’ll back you up no matter what, or you have to field a million questions and write an essay as to why you need them to have your back. Naomie doesn’t regret showing the world that relationships aren’t perfect. She thinks pretending that they are makes other people feel inadequate.

Andy was impressed with Kathryn’s advice to Naomie. Kathryn says if she had it to do over again, she would have kept more things private. She says the others didn’t know her, and took her for a gold-digger. Landon says she never wanted to be involved, but Kathryn says she involved herself by talking about it. Oh man, I know exactly how she feels. I hate when people insert themselves in your business, and then act like you’re the one who put them there. Andy throws it back to Craig and Naomie, and asks if they were close to breaking up. Craig says they hit rock bottom after the show, but started talking, and went back to basics. Naomie says it’s better, but it’s a process. Andy tells them good luck, and Naomie exits.

Austen is up next. Andy asks if he’s ever mistaken for Shep (he is), and how he’s different. Austen says he’s a hopeless romantic. (Or maybe just hopeless. BA-DUM-CHH!) Thomas says that he and Shep suffer from ABC – Aging Bachelor Condition. He thinks Shep is more mean and sarcastic than Austen is. Austen informs us that the beer company he was working for wanted him to move to Savannah, so he left the job. That might have been interesting; he could have crossed over to the other show. Andy tells him that the world is his. Austen’s late sister is mentioned, and everything gets serious. He says the response was overwhelming, and his parents were very touched. Andy asks if it was scary to share it on camera, and Austen says to have a level of vulnerability is important in a relationship, but he thought hard about it. A viewer says that Chelsea is like the guy in the relationship, and Cameran says she loved every bit of it, and how Austen pursued Chelsea. She talks about how at first, she’d thought Chelsea was right for Shep.

Shep tells everyone about his new beach house. Andy asks if he’s going out less, and he says he’ll hang out at the beach, but the bars close earlier. When he was in Charleston, he would invite everyone from the bars to his house rooftop after closing time. Andy moves on to Shep’s health issues, and Shep says that Charleston is a big drinking town. We see the clip of Shep in yoga class, where he declares it’s like a sobriety test. He says he didn’t know you weren’t supposed to talk in class. Andy thinks he was only scared straight for a short time. Cameran says he gets to an angry point when he drinks, and Craig thinks he’s really angry at himself. Kathryn agrees. Shep hates that he doesn’t have self-control, and hits the point where anything seems like a good idea. We see the clip from when Cameran found Shep sleeping at noon, the morning he was supposed to meet her. He says he was embarrassed, and it was tough to look at. He chose to be honest and open, and hopes to change a little.

Time for Kathryn to duck. Andy says she seems like a different person. She says she’s been sober for eight months, despite tabloid fodder to the contrary. They talk about the last reunion, which she describes as a constant panic attack. She explains how she ended up in rehab. She says she was critical of herself, and it drove her to self-medicate. She didn’t realize how cruel the world could be, and a lot of the dynamics that exist in relationship. Andy asks why she didn’t own up to failing a drug test. She tells him that it was supposed to be private, but someone leaked it to the press. Landon says she read it on the internet, and is tired of being called a liar. (What’s really funny here is, the spellcheck changed that to lawyer.) So I guess she’s the one who leaked it, and probably found out from Thomas. Andy says he thought he’d read it before the reunion, and Kathryn says that legally, no one should have known. Landon doesn’t understand what she might have ever said that was so bad about Kathryn, and Kathryn brings up her suggestion that she get shock treatment. Landon is like, oh yeah, that, and tries to justify it, but ends up apologizing.

Andy stirs the pot, asking Landon about implying that Kathryn was looking for a rich boyfriend when she went to rehab. Landon says she’s allowed an opinion. We go back to the last reunion, where Kathryn was accused of not taking a drug test, and Kathryn says that she always took one when required. They talk about the margarita she ordered on vacation (please), and Kathryn says she never even took a sip of it, and anyway, she was in rehab for weed. Having worked in the business end of Al-Anon, in that case, she’d be discouraged from drinking, but it wouldn’t be a no. Kathryn says she used marijuana to detach from reality, and chose to stop drinking to show her commitment.

They talk about the modeling shoot, and how Kensie didn’t want to leave Kathryn. Yeah, let’s make everyone cry. Kathryn says it broke her heart that she’d been so careless to make mistakes that hurt her children. She starts to cry, and Craig gives her a hanky. Okay, maybe there are more people than Dr. Phil who use them. Andy asks about Kathryn’s support system, and she says it’s difficult to trust people. Charleston is small, and everything gets around. She says she’d started to question everyone and everything. Landon starts to cry, not being able to imagine that, and saying that Kathryn must be lonely. Kathryn says she plays close to the vest because she can’t afford disloyalty. She says she wasn’t always like that, but had a friend who gave a distorted perception of her in court. No surprise, it’s Jennifer. The next pony to join the show.

Andy asks about Ascher, who is doing well. Jennifer explains about the surgery that he needed to put his brain back into his skull when he was born. Yikes. She says he shouldn’t have progressed as far as he ha, and that every few months, it gets easier and more fun. Andy asks why it bothered Kathryn when Thomas gave Jennifer a hanky (another hanky clip!), and Kathryn says she looked at it as switched loyalty. She thought Jennifer valued his friendship over hers. Thomas talks about having a brother with Downs Syndrome, and that people were coming down on Jennifer to have an abortion. Jennifer says Kathryn is incorrect, but Kathryn says she didn’t tell the truth about her in court. Andy asks if it was the custody hearing, and if she testified against Kathryn. Jennifer says she’s not saying anything, but told the truth. Kathryn talks about how they’d been friends, and she’d said what a great father Thomas was, but never said anything about her. Jennifer says that Kathryn’s lawyer should have questioned her further, but Kathryn says Jennifer had already lost her credibility. Jennifer suggests that Kathryn look in the mirror. She says that Kathryn had questioned her son’s paternity, and Kathryn says that she’d heard it from someone else, and just talked to one person. Jennifer insists that Kathryn knew what she was doing. Andy asks if Kathryn spread a rumor that Thomas was the father of Jennifer’s child.

Kathryn says it wasn’t about spreading a rumor. She didn’t know if it could have been true. They were romantic in the past, and she doesn’t know Jennifer’s life now. She says she repeated something she’s heard, and shouldn’t have. She apologizes, adding that Jennifer has talked about her. She says Thomas spent the night at Jennifer’s house while Kathryn was still with him. Thomas says he spent the night on the couch, and only left to show Kathryn what it was like, since she’d been staying out all night. He says he’s been protecting her, but if they go to court, she’ll never work in this town again. If she keeps going on, it’s not going to be pretty.

Next time, Part Two – among topics discussed are Shep drunk at the airport, and Landon flirting with Austen; Craig and Shep argue; Andy calls them both drunk a-holes; and Chelsea joins the group.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Lydia is back, and there’s a new girl named Peggy. The taglines are decent, and I think Kelly’s is my favorite – If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

Shannon’s family has gotten a dog, Archie. Shannon says he wins the prize for misbehavior. It looks like he’s a Golden Retriever, so I identify. I had one that was incredibly sweet, but dumb as a box of rocks, and listened to nothing. Except the crinkle of a potato chip bag. Shannon is trying to lose weight, having gained thirty pounds, and not recognizing who she is anymore. She says stress over Vicki caused her to eat and drink more. Nice excuse! We see a clip of the last reunion, with Shannon screaming that her husband doesn’t beat her. It’s affected how she feels about herself, and she’s embarrassed of her body. She also thinks that David has been distant since the surprise vow renewal. She’s making quinoa, and feels badly when he doesn’t rave over it. My husband won’t even eat it.

Kelly visits Vicki at her office. The insurance company is expanding and moving to a bigger space. They talk about Tamra’s gym and the fitness competition she was in. Vicki hasn’t heard from her since Tamra accused her of being a con-artist and said she was old. Kelly agrees that Vicki wasn’t treated well, and thinks she’s owed an apology. She says they just want to fight. Vicki says that they’re not the popular girls, and they’re jealous. Kelly says she doesn’t care about popularity, but Vicki says she does. Funny. Both POVs are obvious.

Tamra says she’s closer to her faith after everything she’s gone through with Vicki. Lydia has invited her to Bible study, and she says it’s just what she’s looking for. Lydia asks if Tamra still hangs out with everyone. Tamra tells her that Heather is super busy, and she still hasn’t seen the inside of the new house. She hasn’t talked to Vicki since the reunion, but we already knew that. Lydia brings up the Mexico trip, and Tamra says it feels like forever ago. She says it got weird, and Vicki was spreading rumors that Eddie was gay. She says it’s not true, but still hurtful. Tamra says that Vicki also told Kelly, who’s another hot mess. She says Vicki doesn’t understand why she cares, since it’s just a rumor. Lydia thinks they should all go to lunch, but Tamra says she’ll pray about it. That’s Christianese for I’m blowing you off.

Meghan has a baby girl, Aspen. Aw, she’s all cranky, but Meghan gets a smile out of her. They also have a puppy, Girly Girl. Meghan says that after the baby was born, she just wanted to take a long nap, but couldn’t, and it’s been like that ever since. We go down Memory Lane with the IVF thing. She also lost her baby weight quickly, but her boobs are humongous. Jimmy is actually into taking care of the baby, which surprises Meghan – and me. He tells Meghan that shoes are stupid on a baby, but she says she wants to dress her like a doll. He has a point, but dressing them up is the fun part.

Lydia begins with prayer. They’re studying the story of Lazarus in John 11. She asks if anyone has ever felt abandoned by God. Tamra starts to tear up about the situation with her daughter. She says that she can only put it out of her mind for so long, but knows God has a plan for her and Sydney. She hasn’t seen her daughter in three and a half years, but says it’s getting better; they’re texting. Everyone agrees that it’s a glimmer of hope, and Lydia prays for them. Tamra is grateful for a safe place to put her feelings out there with other women of faith.

Vicki’s new boyfriend, Steve, brings her roses. She misses Brooks, and in her interview, says they had a great relationship despite what people think, but she’d never go back to that. She opens up some cocktail sauce and gets it all over Steve’s white shirt, which is why I never wear white. Steve is a retired detective, and Vicki says she always knows what he’s up to, as opposed to Brooks who was a sneak. They talk about everyone having baggage. Vicki says if he breaks her heart, she won’t forgive him. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to waste any more time.

Kelly is getting ready to go to a birthday party, and discusses vaginal rejuvenation with her mom, Bobbi. She asks if her mother would be interested, and gets a no. She asks if her mom doesn’t want to date again, and Bobbi says she goes to Starbuck’s when she’s bored. She tells Kelly not to push her. In her interview, Kelly says she’s trying to work out her own relationship with husband Michael, but it feels like he’s attached to her at the hip. Kelly tells a dirty joke, and maybe I’m getting old too, because I had to think about it for a while before I got it.

Commercial break – The Real Housewives of Dallas returns Monday, August 14th @ 10 pm.

Vicki brings her grandsons back to Briana’s house. Vicki tells them that she’ll take them swimming tomorrow. Ryan is still in Oklahoma waiting on paperwork for his medical retirement. Briana feels guilty for leaving, and says it’s hard having toddlers with him being so far away. Vicki tries to pick up the slack and likes feeling needed. Everyone likes Steve, and Briana asks if they’re getting married. She says it’s nice to like her mother’s boyfriend for once – and he has a job and doesn’t hit on her. Vicki says she wants to make sure it’s right. Briana tells us that her life is farts and superheroes.

Tamra works out on the machines at the gym. Eddie joins her. He just came from teaching a class. Tamra says her relationship with him is great – when he’s not being gay. Ha-ha! She doesn’t like the mural in the workout room, but says Eddie has totally taken over, and now she just does the sh*it work. She tells Eddie about the Bible study, and how Lydia thinks she should have lunch with Vicki. Eddie isn’t too receptive to that. Tamra says when someone lies about their own life, they’ll lie about yours.

Lydia and her husband are teaching son Maverick to ride a bike. She tells him to believe in himself and practice. She has three boys now; Sterling and Roman round out the trio. She says it’s overwhelming and a lot of work. She can’t wait to see her kids, but then it’s bedlam the second she walks in the door, and she wants to run. They’ve moved to Newport Beach, so her mom isn’t across the street anymore. In her interview, Lydia explains that her mom is also on a new level with weed being legal now. They take Maverick to a park to practice, and we see pictures of their ten-year vow renewal. Maverick takes a spill, and his father asks him what a ninja warrior would do. Maverick gets back on and rides. Lydia says she’s a lot stronger now, knows who she is, and is happy with it.

Shannon and daughter Sophie are going shopping for Sophie’s formal. Tamra joins them with niece Casey, who’s also looking for a dress. In her interview, Tamra says it’s been hard not being able to shop with Sydney, and holidays aren’t the same. We hear that a million dresses are “cute,” and Shannon vetoes a revealing dress for Sophie.

While the girls are trying things on, Shannon talks to Tamra about losing weight. She says she hates exercising, and Tamra thinks she lacks motivation. Shannon blames the weight gain on Vicki, but in her interview, Tamra doesn’t think her stress is just about that. She thinks Shannon isn’t over the affair.

Lydia meets Vicki for lunch. Vicki says she’ll take Lydia over someone who wants to steal her joy. She points out that Tamra was baptized in the pool there. In her interview, Lydia calls herself the friendship whisperer, and says that she thinks she can bring everyone back together. Lydia tells Vicki that she reminded Tamra about their friendship on the Mexico trip, and says Tamra claims Vicki is going around saying that Eddie is gay. Vicki says Tamra called her a con-artist, and asks if you fight back or fold. Lydia thinks that they hurt one another because they love one another. Vicki says Tamra has her own secrets she doesn’t want found out, and wonders if Tamra hates her that much. Lydia realizes there’s a lot more going on than she thought. Vicki says she’s tired of them being bullies. They have to be nice to her or she’s not going to be nice.

Next time, Michael drives like a lunatic, we meet Peggy, and Shannon argues with Lydia. Hmm.. that seems to be a pattern with Shannon – arguing with the newest person.

🐮 Sweet Home Oklahoma is back! Tubbers! Pumps! Short interviews with random locals! I love this show so much. The cast is intrinsically funny, and seem genuinely good-hearted. I’m not a warm and fuzzy person, and this isn’t necessarily a warm and fuzzy show (except for Tubbers), but it’s one of the few reality shows that leaves you feeling good. In one of the back-to-back episodes tonight, Pumps won a meat eating contest and said she was “meat drunk.” I could understand this, since I visited a friend in Oklahoma once. I loved the atmosphere and the people, but everything was beef with a side of beef. Next time, the girls TP a house.

Tonight’s Best Quote

We’re living the dream – one man bun at a time. Jennifer, Sweet Home Oklahoma

Sweet Home Oklahoma Jennifer and Josh Welch Credit: Tommy Garcia/Bravo

Jennifer & Josh, wearer of the Man Bun

April 17, 2017 – A Painting Vanishes, an Auction is Silent, a Reunion Ends & Tubbers is Celebrated

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis tells Sam that she thought she was losing her mind, but she wasn’t. Sam wonders why Julian doesn’t just come forward, and Jason says he’s facing criminal charges. Jason is going to hunt him down.

Dillon takes pictures of the happy couple at the engagement party. Ned and Olivia kiss.

Tracy has put the covered painting on an easel in the den. Monica says she’ll have it removed later. Laura pops in, thanking Monica for the invitation. She wonders if they could mix hospital business with pleasure. Larry sees the mysterious masterpiece. He calls it their acquisition, because without him, Tracy wouldn’t have known about it. He thinks he should get 50% of the value, but Tracy says it was left to her by her father, and has nothing to do with him. He asks about a finder’s fee, and she says he’s drinking it.

Carly tells Sonny to leave or she’s calling the police. He says from what Michael said, Jax might be uncomfortable with that. Jax says he’s not proud of what he did, but doesn’t regret it. Carly says that Sonny would have done the same thing. Sonny says he would, but it’s what came after that’s the problem. Jax left them like sitting ducks for Nelle. Let’s just say it right now – isn’t that what Sonny did? Carly says that Jax had no reason to think Nelle had an ulterior motive, but Sonny did. Sonny says it was hard enough thinking he was responsible for Morgan’s death, but Jax could have avoided the outcome with Nelle. Carly says he’s blaming Jax. Jax made a mistake and should have told her, but the rest is on Sonny, and he’s blaming someone else. She tells Sonny he has to live with it. Dante knocks on the door looking for Sonny. Carly tells Sonny to do everyone a favor and leave with him.

Dante says he was hoping Michael was wrong about Sonny being there. Sonny talks smack about Jax. Jax tells Dante about buying the kidney, saying that he didn’t know Frank would hit up his own daughter for it, but even if he had known, he would have gone through with it. He would have done anything to save Josslyn. Sonny says he was going to use it as leverage, but since Dante is there, it’s time for Jax to pay up, and he’s recorded it. Dante wishes he could ignore it, but he can’t.

Ned thanks Tracy and Monica for the party. Olivia has brought bruschetta. Tracy is like, you brought food to a Quartermaine party? She says Cook will be insulted, thinking hers isn’t good enough. Larry says he’ll present it to Cook. Tracy says good luck, and Monica says they’re a special couple.

Tracy wants to unveil the painting. Monica balks, and Tracy says it could be a Picasso or Manet for all she knows. Monica asks if it is, and Tracy says no, but it’s a precious family heirloom. A smoke alarm goes off. Yeah, I see where this is headed.

Sam is concerned about Alexis being by herself. She says she’s seen Julian break Alexis. Alexis says Julian is her father, but Sam says not to use her for an excuse. Alexis says if Julian was going to hurt her, he would have done it. Jason wants to call Sonny, but Alexis says she’ll take care of it. Sam asks what If he shows up, and Alexis says she’ll cross bridge when she comes to it. Jason tells Sam he has an idea.

Julian hangs out at the docks looking stupid in a hoodie. One obviously not purchased from Zumiez.

The fire alarm continues, and Tracy says it’s Olivia’s fault. Cook probably set a fire in protest. They all leave to check things out, since no one smells smoke. Jason and Sam walk into the house, and the alarm stops. Sam says they need to see Dillon. Jason shows him the picture from the park, and Sam says it’s Julian, alive and well.

Julian looks at the picture he swiped from the album – he and Alexis in a red carpet moment. He flashes back to when they last got married.

Sonny asks Michael if he sent Dante over. Michael says that he didn’t want Sonny to do anything he’d regret. Sonny says they’re all adults who have to live with the consequences of their actions, even Jax. Michael asks what he did.

Dante says as much as he agrees with Jax’s motives, he has to arrest him. Josslyn walks in, and asks what Dante is doing to her father.

Sonny tells Michael that he confronted Jax. He admits he would have done the same thing in Jax’s place, but the difference is, he would have said something. Instead, Jax went back to Australia. No comment. Michael says that Jax didn’t perceive her as a threat. Sonny tells him not to make excuses. He tells Michael about getting the recording and giving it to Dante. Michael asks if he’s out of his mind.

Carly tells Josslyn that her dad is going to be fine. Dante says he won’t cuff him, but he has to come in. Josslyn asks if he’s under arrest, and Dante lets Jax talk to her. Jax tells her that he’s the one who arranged for her to get Nelle’s kidney. They weren’t sure if she was going to make it, so he did something illegal. He offered Nelle’s father money to help find a donor, and it’s his fault she came to town looking for revenge. Josslyn says because of him, she’s alive.

Julian meets a guy with tattoos on the docks who says it’s all arranged.

Dillon brings down his laptop and they look at photos from the park. They see another one where Julian is giving an envelope to a guy. Sam says the tattoo seems familiar, and remembers Hooper who has boats for hire, usually for illegal purposes.

Alexis wanders around the docks because that’s the place to be in Port Charles. She flashes back to the aftermath of the wedding, and Julian saying he loves her.

Dante says they have to go. Jax tells Josslyn it will be fine. He says he broke the law and told himself if it ever came out, he wouldn’t run. He tells Carly he’s sorry. She tells him he has nothing to apologize for, and thanks him for saving Josslyn’s life. Josslyn tells Dante that he knows it’s not right. Carly says she knows Josslyn is hurting, but her father has to go with Dante. Jax tells her not to be scared. He leaves with Dante.

Sonny tells Michael that he doubts it will go to trial. If Jax spends two days in jail, he’ll be surprised. Michael asks what if he’s wrong. and he send Josslyn’s father to prison for saving her life? I see we now have idiot Sonny totally back again.

Dillon gives Jason a printout the picture. He tells Kiki it’s just another night in Port Charles. Not yet if they haven’t been to the docks. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she’d like several. Larry asks where everyone has been. Tracy explains about the fire alarm, but he says he was out walking the grounds and didn’t hear it. Ned asks about Cook, and Larry says she wants Olivia’s recipe. Monica toasts to Olivia joining the family. She says Olivia is going to breathe new life into the house, and make it into a home again. Tracy is snarky, and Monica says she got the same treatment. Tracy says to be fair, Monica did sleep with her husband’s nephew. Everyone is like, eww! and Monica asks if they can focus on the here and now. She asks if Ned and Olivia would like the west wing. If not, Tracy can move out of the east wing. Tracy protests, and Monica reminds her that the deed is in her name. Tracy says there’s something she’d like to do with the deed, and Monica suggests it’s the same thing she wants to do with the easel.

Alexis lingers at the docks. She remembers Julian holding a knife to her throat. Julian appears. For real.  I think.

Josslyn asks Carly what’s going to happen, and Carly explains. She says that Jax’s lawyer will make arrangements for bail. Josslyn asks why Dante was there, and Carly says Michael called him, but it’s complicated. She says she and Sonny have been fighting, and sometimes when Sonny gets angry, he doesn’t make the best decisions. She’s sorry she let everything get out of control, but Josslyn says not to apologize for Sonny. She hopes Carly sees the truth and never goes back to him.

Michael thought Dante could get through to Sonny, but didn’t think Sonny would have Jax arrested. He says he doesn’t care what Jax did, Sonny should have covered for him. He reminds Sonny about all the times Carly covered for him, and he committed crimes; he didn’t save a life. He chose the wrong way to hurt them. He tells Sonny that he’d better pray he can clean it up, because if Jax goes to prison, no one is going to forgive him. The cheese Sonny stands alone yet again.

Jax is sorry that Dante got dragged in. Dante wonders where the justice is. Jax crossed the line to save his daughter’s life, and he understands, but the line exists for a reason. Jax realizes that if it didn’t, the poor people would be at a disadvantage. He says that those are the questions he asks himself. Did his actions keep another child from being saved? Probably not. I doubt Frank would have just decided to sell Nelle’s kidney all on his own.

Tracy asks what the painting has done to Monica, and Monica says it’s the owner. Ned and Dillon think it has something to do with Luke. Monica says the only time Tracy was really happy was with him. Tracy points out that Laura is sitting there, but Laura says she and Luke are ancient history. Tracy suggests changing the subject, and says she’s happy for Ned and Olivia. Her son is happy, and it’s all a parent wants for their children. She thanks Olivia. Olivia says she’s honored to be joining the family, and Tracy says, perfect segue.

Tracy tells everyone that she took a journey with a dear friend and found a treasure – a letter from her father that spoke of his love for her. Monica says it must have meant a lot. Tracy tells her that it did, and he left her something else as a tangible expression of his devotion to her. He wanted her to have a portrait, passed down through ages, that bears an uncanny resemblance to her. She lifts the cover off of the portrait, and in its place is a clown painting on velvet. Like we didn’t see that coming.

Sam and Jason go to the docks. Jason says there’s no sign of anything, and Sam suggests that Julian is halfway to Canada by now. She sees Alexis’s scarf on the ground and picks it up.

Tomorrow, Larry has the painting (no surprise), the crying girl from the monastery is looking for Tracy, and Julian and Alexis get busy.

Southern Charm

I might not like Cameran (our narrator) all that much, but I sure do like her gigantic earrings.

At the Ravenel Construction Group, we see Thomas actually doing some work. Cameran is at the gym with Chelsea. She says that she lives off of gas station food, and wants to take charge of her health. She tells Chelsea that she heard she and Shep had an overnight. Chelsea says they didn’t get nakey, but Cameran has hope. She tells Chelsea to make him work for it, and Chelsea says right now, things are just PG.

Landon (blech!) meets Craig for lunch. Craig is doing media inserts for a charity that his girlfriend got him involved with. His goal is to be a philanthropist and not have to work anymore. Good luck with that. Or as they say in the South, bless your heart. Naomie calls, and asks if he’s finished everything. She’s picking up donations, and headed to Shep’s place. Craig tells Landon that Shep is going out of town for a wedding, and can’t make it to the upcoming polo match.

Shep gives Naomie his donation. The fundraiser is for the people of Haiti, and Shep wonders if Craig even knows where that is.

He knows where the good shrimp are though. His lunch looks fantastic.

Naomie asks Shep what happened at Landon’s website launch. He says he hoped he gave her constructive criticism. Naomie asks if he made her cry. Shep tells her that sometimes Landon gets ahead of herself and needs to be knocked down a peg. I thought he was very diplomatic and gave her good advice.

Craig tells Landon it wasn’t Shep’s place to tell her that stuff, and Landon thinks he was being a bully. Craig says when Shep lectured him, he felt like he was on the playground in sixth grade. He was definitely harsher with Craig, but even though I didn’t entirely agree with what he said, I thought it was out of concern.

Naomie says part of her is like, f-u to Shep, but in his interview, Shep says friendship means sometimes telling someone what they don’t want to hear. Probably the other part of Naomie knows that’s true. Shep asks what he should do, just let his friends get more delusional?

Whitney exercises pug Chauncey, while Patricia packs a suitcase without Michael, who’s on vacation. She says you can never be undereducated or underdressed according to Oscar Wilde. Whitney tells her that he’ll hold down the fort. He tells Patricia that Chauncey needs Jenny Craig, and she wonders if she should invent Spanx for dogs.

Kathryn has an appointment with a modeling scout. She’s modeled in the past, and wants to get back in the game. The scout asks for pictures, but Kathryn says she needs to update her portfolio. Using her tablet, she shows the scout a bunch of photos from back in the day. She says Kathryn is older now, and will be in a different bracket. She needs new photos, and the scout encourages her to get in the best shape that she can. She also suggests Kathryn doing a shoot with her children, because agencies are looking for the family thing. In her interview, Kathryn says this is the ultimate punch in the gut, since she can’t even see the kids right now.

Thomas practices saluting Landon in the mirror. In his interview, he says had he pursued someone more mature than Kathryn, his life might be different. He hopes it isn’t too late. Landon arrives, and Thomas makes drinks. Landon says she hasn’t been at his house since the night he kicked them all out. We flash back to that. Best. Night. Ever. Thomas suggests sitting on the porch.

Landon says it was good to hear from him. Thomas tells her that he wants to do an event at the plantation, and he’d like her input. He also wants to catch up. She says with the rumor mill churning, she didn’t even want to be around him in public. She thinks the dust has settled now, and they can be friends and do things together again. In her interview, she says the only thing she’s after is companionship. She asks about Kathryn, and Thomas says she passed her drug test so she can have supervised visits. He says what he does with his personal life is none of her business. In his interview, he says he’d like to have a stepmother for his children. He tells Landon that he’s looking for a woman with a pleasant personality, and says she has no problem in that department. She laughs like a hyena. Thomas clearly has a different definition of pleasant than I do.

Naomie tells Craig that he’d do better in life if he got things done ahead of time. He tells her that he works better under stress – a favorite excuse of procrastinators – and not to take it personally. In his interview, he says he’s able to reason worry out of his brain, so he doesn’t get stressed. Oh brother. Although he’ll probably live longer than most of us. In the car, Naomie tells him about her conversation with Shep, and that she felt they behaved like adults, and understood where the other one was coming from. Craig says Shep is manipulative, like an abusive husband. He doesn’t think Shep making Landon cry was acceptable either. He says Shep is out of control. Huh?

The guys meet at a bar. They run into Thomas’s neighbor, who Shep has also hooked up with. Thomas says there’s a lot of cross-pollination in Charleston. She and Thomas are also cousins. And Thomas is also related to Shep. Now it’s getting creepy. Shep apologizes for not being able to make the polo match. He asks who’s planning it, and Thomas tells him Landon is, since she’s good at planning parties. Thomas thinks Shep is in love with her, and Shep nearly chokes. He says he’s forgotten more than Thomas has gotten, and is definitely not looking for a relationship.

They move on to another bar, where a female patron is having her 21st birthday party. Shep and Austen chat with her. Both Daisy and Whitney show up, and another girl named Bree, who just broke up with her boyfriend. In his interview, Austen says that he’s open to finding the right girl, but Shep, not so much. Bree takes Daisy to find some “real men” at the bar. I’m not sure what she means, but she’s flirting with Thomas. Did she mean old guys? From a distance, it looks like Thomas blows her off, and Whitney is like, wise choice.

Naomie and Craig get last minute preparations together for the fundraiser. Craig unrolls the background for the entrance. Naomie is in a really cute bathrobe with animal ears on the hood. Craig is digging around for a laptop mouse, and Naomi has to jet. Hey, there’s the cat. Maybe he can help Craig find the mouse. I had to.

Cameran, in another pair of incredible, HUGE earrings, visits Whitney. Whitney tries to get the dogs under control, and in her interview, she says when Michael is away, everyone has to fend for themselves, and it’s crazy. She tells Whitney that he’s like Kevin from Home Alone. Thomas calls. Whitney asks what was up with Daisy. Thomas says he doesn’t know, but he has to find a real woman. Cameran and Whitney agree. Cameran asks if he’s coming to Naomie’s fundraiser, but he doesn’t want any clashes with Kathryn. Whitney hangs up, and Cameran says Thomas has seen the light, and is on an upward projectory. I’m not even sure that’s a word.

Whatever Craig needs to print isn’t happening, and it’s 45 minutes until the fundraiser. It’s something for the silent auction, and Naomie is getting pretty nervous. Craig works on his hairdo, and talks to the cat.

Craig gets to the bar, and tells Naomie everything is fine. She looks through the bags, and says they’re missing some sheets, and she wants him to get them printed now. He complains that he’s the one getting screwed, and Naomie tells him he’s screwing himself, and not to blame other people. Yep. She looks at him like a fixer-upper, and that’s never a good idea.

Naomie has to hand write some things, which annoys her. In her interview, she says they have different planning styles. That’s one way to put it. She says everything always works out because there’s always someone to pick up the slack. She tells Craig that they’re cool.

Naomi’s parents are French, so the three of them throw shade at Craig in their native language. Her mother tells her all men are the same. Ha-ha! Everyone is drinking and having a good time. Landon’s friend tells her that she’s glad Shep isn’t there, since he made Landon cry. Landon says she doesn’t think he even has a real job. This is so stupid. It’s not even like she did cry over it. She didn’t listen to one thing he said, got mad, and stormed out. Everyone must tiptoe around this girl.

Whitney tells Cameran that Shep and Chelsea hooked up, claiming that Shep told him. Cameran isn’t too sure if Whitney is telling her the truth, since he’s a sick freak. She tells Chelsea what Whitney said, and Chelsea says Cameran knows she’d tell her. Whitney calls Shep, who denies saying anything of the sort. Whitney tells Cameran she looks hammered. Cameran thinks it’s time to go home.

Naomie talks to a friend of Craig’s from school who’s practicing law now. He says from the internet, it looks like Craig is a great gardener. Craig joins them, and says he thinks they went past their goal. He and Naomie love each other again.

Chelsea talks to Austen about his love life. She asks what he’s looking for in a woman, and he flirts, describing her. He asks for her number.

Next time, the polo match happens, Chelsea goes out with Austen, and Thomas won’t let Kathryn see the kids.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part Three

Andy grills Stassi about her dating life, and she says she feels like a loser. Andy thought things with Peter might get rekindled after their kiss. They talk about the bachelor/ bachelorette weekend in NOLA. Katie says she’d wanted harmony, but was under too much stress. Schwartz says the angst about Tom and Ariana was a surface trigger. Tom says blah-blah-blah, and Katie says the only one she’d take relationship advice from in this room is Lisa. Good choice.

We revisit Jax’s apology to Stassi. Stassi says it wasn’t so much the cheating, but how it trickled down to other things. She was thrilled to hear him finally own it. Andy asks Brittany how she felt, and she says it was hard for her to watch, when she wants the same thing from him. Jax says he’s a better person since he met Brittany. Once again, the shoemaker’s kids go barefoot.

Andy asks Schwartz if there was any moment when he wasn’t drinking during the bachelor/bachelorette weekend. Schwartz says he was browned out for 80% of the trip. Jax says he never saw Schwartz so upset, and was afraid Schwartz was going to hurt himself. James points out that this is coming from Jax. We see Schwartz getting emo during the gator watching trip. Ariana says it’s the last thing she expected. Jax is called out for trying to get Schwartz to postpone the wedding. Tom gets all loud, talking about how Katie was running the show all summer, and the girls were all bowing down to her. Somehow this leads to a discussion about who looked the best in drag.

Andy points out how Kristen chose that moment to sit Schwartz down for a talk about the Vegas girl from the past. Kristen says if it hadn’t been for her, they might never have addressed the issue, and I have to agree that she has a point. It really made all the difference, and totally turned everything around. Kristen and Tom get into a heated exchange. Tom talks about how Kristen cornered Schwartz. Stassi talks about waking up to two guys in drag arguing about looking like Sia. Andy talks about the roller-coaster ride of emotion that Schwartz went through, and we see the clip of Tom calling him a battered wife. Andy asks if it ruined his bachelor party, Schwartz says you’d think it would have, and I laugh.

Kristen says no one understood how Katie felt, and Katie concurs that it was devastating. Katie says it was up to her to put the pieces back together along with Schwartz. Schwartz says that he inherited a lot of baggage as well. Lisa thinks it was ridiculous how Jax tried to convince everyone that Schwartz had slept with the past Vegas girl, even though they weren’t there. Schwartz says he didn’t remember, but doubts anything could have happened. Katie says she can move past it, but it took a long time to repair the trust. She pushed a lot of feelings aside that were still there.

Lisa says she had no idea how bad it was until she saw the show, although she knew things weren’t going well. She says she was right in originally turning them down to officiate. It was difficult because she loves them, but she couldn’t give a potential disaster her blessing. We flash back to the arguments between Katie and Schwartz in Vegas. Lisa says they’d lost respect for each other, and she wanted them to understand the seriousness of the commitment. Katie says they didn’t know how to get it back, and Andy says it was amazing to watch the turnaround. Ariana proclaims that they were meant to be together, and she knew it was going to happen. Schwartz says they’re the only original couple left. Andy wonders who’s next to get married.

We discuss the wedding weekend — $51,000 later. Lisa says it wasn’t the way she rolls, but nothing about it was conventional, and it was who they are. We flash back to Schwartz’s surprise of his triplet brothers arriving. He says it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for him, and he was really surprised. It meant a lot to his brothers too.

Andy points out that Katie kept her cool when her dress wasn’t quite fitting, and Katie says it was the only time she second-guessed the Taco Tuesday themed rehearsal dinner. Andy asks if she’s happy to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz, and she corrects him that it’s Mrs. Bubba Maloney-Schwartz. Andy asks Lisa what was most emotional for her. She says Schwartz’s vows, and we flash back to that. Schwartz says he wrote the vows while the groomsmen were putting their suits on. We flash back to Tom using the dog as a hanky during the ceremony. Andy points out that even Jax got choked up, and Jax says how could you not? Well, I didn’t.

Tom and Ariana’s relationship is discussed. Ariana says he has all the feels, but she tends to retreat when he gets marriage-minded. Schwartz says it was one of the happiest days of his life, and he was happy to share it with everyone.

We move on to James’s DJ career. Andy reads a list of James’s woes, and we flash back to them. Jax was happy to get James thrown out of his gig. Kristen talks smack about James, and he tells her to shut up, telling her she’s irrelevant. She points out that he had a vodka/soda at lunch and he admits he did, but only one. Moving on.

Andy says Shay is going to join them, and Scheana gets a little weird about that. She says the break-up was for the best, but she doesn’t want to see him. During the break, Stassi tells Scheana that they have her back. Five…four…three…

Shay says he’s nervous. He’s living with his parents now, and we flash back to the wedding. He and Scheana haven’t seen each other in four months, and are still waiting for the divorce to be finalized. Andy asks if Scheana was consciously hiding their problems, and she says it was Katie’s wedding, and she didn’t want to bring her business into it. She starts to cry. She accuses Shay of lying to her about buying drugs. He denies it, and Scheana talks about him withdrawing money out of their account. He claims it was for the business, and says she always held the money over his head, since it was mostly hers.

Andy asks what happened when Shay decided not to come home the first time, and why he didn’t communicate. Shay says that Scheana doesn’t listen. Lisa says that even though she didn’t understand it, Scheana worshipped him, and her world revolved around him. Kristen says she saw Scheana trying hard, but it seemed like Shay had given up. Shay says he’d always been working toward something, and his band is going on tour with Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Jax says they’re both good people, but it just didn’t work. Shay looks all wistful. Ariana says she feels like she’s never really heard from him; he just ghosts. She doesn’t hear from him now either. He just gets all teary and looks at the ceiling.

Shay says they grew apart. He quit drinking for a year, but was expected to still go out. Scheana says he said it was fine, and he says later on it got difficult. Andy asks when things went south, and Scheana says that three months in, she found out about the pills. She says she also caught him texting another girl. Tom asks Shay why, and Shay says maybe it was more than friendship, but he found a connection that he didn’t have with Scheana. Both Scheana and Shay say they’re uncomfortable.

Andy asks if there was more than sexting going on, and Scheana says it turned into other issues like a lack of communication. Shay talks about her running to Lisa on camera about his addiction, and not talking to him first. Scheana says he hurt her, and she hurt him back. Shay says he wouldn’t have brought up his addiction issues on the show, and he was forced to tell everyone. He says he’s been labeled now. Scheana says she’s a “home-wrecking whore,” and that you get labeled, and that’s how it is. She’s right. This is what they signed up for. When Scheana talked to Lisa, it was obviously a difficult, spontaneous moment. Scheana says she wouldn’t have divorced him, and stayed in a marriage that wasn’t great. Shay says he went along with everything and wanted to keep trying, but she divorced him on camera. Scheana says that she found out he was buying pills and lying to her again, and she was done.

Evil Andy asks if Scheana having a new boyfriend bothers Shay. Shay thinks it’s quick, but Scheana says he knows him from Instagram, and she’s been friends with him for over ten years. We see pictures. He’s pretty cute, and looks like a grown-up. Andy asks if Shay is seeing anyone, and he says he’s still technically married. Scheana says it’s just a piece of paper at this point. Shay says he’ll always love her and be there for her, but he’s over their relationship. Coming there was something he had to do. It was harder than he thought, but he’s glad he did it. Andy asks if Scheana gets closure from Shay saying he loves her and will be there for her. She says she thinks he’s in his happy place, and she’s in her happy place, so she’s happy for him, but nobody looks very happy. Andy says he hopes they have some peace. Schwartz says that the both of them are happier apart than they would have been together. They say good-by, and wish each other good luck. Shay leaves the magic circle.

In our final moments, Andy commends James on his 18-hour day, sitting next to Jax. That is way too long. I’d read that the Housewives reunions are 12-hours, and I think that’s too much. He asks Lisa about opening the new bar, and asking Tom to be a part of it. Tom says he gets emotional thinking about it, and will someone stop this guy from crying already? We flash back to Schwartz wanting to duck and run when Lisa suggested including him. Schwartz says he didn’t want to tarnish Lisa’s name, and Katie says he doesn’t know his potential. Andy says if they don’t get their act together, it will end up Lala’s Lounge instead of Tom-Tom. Andy shows a clip of Lisa and Stassi booty-bumping at the wedding.

We end with Ken, puppies, Peter, and cocktails. Giggy! Harrison! Schnookie! Peter with Pumptinis! Lisa toasts to everyone, and says she loves them, even though she doesn’t always show it.

🎂 I would love to see French bulldog Tubbers from Sweet Home Oklahoma get his own show. Pumps came to Tubbers’ birthday party dressed like a roaring 20s flapper, because she’d been told it was a costume party. She was the only one who was told that. My karaoke group once had a pajama night, and I was afraid I might be the only one who showed up in them. I wasn’t. The party for Tubbers was a surprise party, although it was hard to say whether he was actually surprised. This show reminds me of Don’t Be Tardy. It’s a lot of fun and not mean-spirited at all. You can’t help but smile while watching it.

🐮 An extra observation. After successfully pulling off this prank, Jennifer said, “If you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.” This is the second time I’ve heard that in as many weeks. Shep said it on Southern Charm last week. Is this a thing now?

 

April 10, 2017 – Jake Adds to the Timeline, Landon Follows Through, the SUR Reunion Continues & Some Random TV Thoughts

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis comes home asking if anybody’s there, and then wonders why she said that, since she’s the only one living there. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the PCPD, particularly Nathan. Alexis invites him in. She asks if it’s about Julian.

Sam is trying to find out who used Julian’s credit card. The doorbell rings, waking Scout. It’s Elizabeth. Because in Port Charles, no one ever calls first. She wants to talk to Jason about Jake.

Franco asks Jake why he’s not at home. He tells Franco that nobody knows he’s gone; the babysitter was busy texting, and the other kids were asleep. Franco says that Jake’s mother is going to flip out. Jake wants to know why Franco doesn’t want to be his friend anymore.

Kristina runs into Michael at Perks. She can’t believe it’s been a year since she lived in PC. Neither can I – it’s like she never left. She asks what’s up, and he says while she was studying, their family imploded – again.

Sonny says Nelle made him think that Jax slept with Carly, then he was drinking and blacked out. Nelle tells him that she drugged him.

Jax asks Carly what they’re doing, and she says trying to feel better. He said they made this mistake last time, but she says it’s not a mistake and she doesn’t want to stop. She leads him to the bedroom.

Alexis asks Nathan if Julian washed up on shore. He says it’s nothing definitive, but someone used Julian’s credit card to buy a bus ticket to LA. Alexis says she doesn’t know anything about his credit cards, since they always kept those things separate. Nathan asks if she has any reason to believe he’s alive.

Elizabeth tells Jason that Jake is fine. She just wanted to tell him about a follow-up session that she scheduled. She says she’s been thinking about how Andre said they need to be on the same page for Jake to open up. Sam asks if there’s anything she can do to help, since Jake is her stepson. Elizabeth says her involvement might be confusing to Jake. He adores Franco, but Franco isn’t allowed to be part of the equation. Why is Sam?

Franco tells Jake that he’ll always be his friend. Jake asks why he stopped coming by, and if he’s mad at Elizabeth. Franco says he doesn’t want Jake to get in trouble for sneaking out, and has to take him home before Elizabeth finds out and has a meltdown. Jake says the studio is cool and he never wants to leave.

Michael tells Kristina that someone came between Carly and Sonny. Kristina thinks it’s Jax, but Michael says no. He tells her that Carly isn’t the one who cheated. He explains how Sonny got drunk on Thanksgiving and slept with Nelle. Kristina is shocked. Michael says there were extenuating circumstances, but Kristina is having a hard time believing it. Michael says it was terrible, but Nelle was hurting too. Kristina asks why he’s defending her.

Sonny is stunned. Nelle says he assumed the worst, and she didn’t disagree. When she made his drink, she slipped a sleeping pill in. He passed out cold upstairs, and she got in the bed with him. She says she pretended to be upset afterward. He says he underestimated her. He thought she was only making something bad even worse by taking advantage of him, but she went beyond that, making him feel guilty for what he didn’t do. She tore everything apart over a lie. He says there’s something wrong with her. Well, yeah, I thought all that was explained already.

Jax and Carly kiss their way into the bedroom. There’s a song part and they get busy. I get busy too, doing some quick chores.

Alexis thinks someone must have stolen Julian’s wallet. He wouldn’t travel by bus or even fly coach. Nathan asks if he would temporarily lower his standards. Alexis says she thinks he had money stashed away, and wouldn’t use a credit card if he was on the run. She tells Nathan that she’s tired, and they agree to let each other know if there’s anything new. Nice earrings, Alexis! As soon as Nathan is gone, Alexis grabs her coat and leaves.

Jason tells Elizabeth that there’s a massive difference between Sam and Franco. Elizabeth agrees, saying that Franco did a lot of art therapy with Jake, and if he’s going to open up to anyone, it’s Franco. Franco calls and tells them about Jake showing up. Jason says he’ll be right there. Elizabeth wonders how Jake got there. She says she doesn’t want Jason getting into it with Franco, and says she’ll drive. Jason promises Sam that he’ll control himself.

Michael tells Kristina that he’s not making excuses for Nelle. He says she took advantage of them at their most vulnerable. He tells Kristina about Nelle’s new job with Valentin, but says what matters is their parents. Kristina doesn’t think Carly should be so judgey, but Michael says that Sonny is just as bad. He thinks Sonny can fix it if he’ll wait. Kristina says the only way that’s going to happen is if he talks Sonny into it. Michael doesn’t want to play referee, but she says as the big brother, he has to step in.

Um…too late. Carly and Jax bask in the afterglow. Jax asks if it was wrong or very right, and Carly kisses him.

Nelle tells Sonny that there’s nothing left to say except that she was so wrong. She can’t change things. Sonny says she kept building on the lie and milking it, while he and Carly grieved and tried to hang on to what was left with their marriage. He goes over everything that Nelle did. He asks why the confession now; she’s in the wrong place for absolution. She asks why it matters then. He asks what’s in it for her, and she says that she doesn’t want it weighing on her. He says that after everything she did, she wants him to believe it was just guilty conscience? He doesn’t buy it. Michael walks in and asks what he doesn’t buy.

Carly tells Jax why complicate things? He thinks some context might be appropriate. She says they needed it. He says she always has a purpose, and she says it felt good to laugh again. He says they have nothing to do for a few hours, so…

Alexis goes to Sam’s place. She tells Sam about Nathan’s visit, and asks if that’s why Sam wanted her to stay at the spa. Sam says she didn’t want to worry Alexis, but Alexis says Sam can’t protect her from the world. Sam tells her that Curtis is working on it, but so far came up empty handed. Alexis asks what Sam isn’t telling her.

Jake is doing some painting, and Franco instructs him to attack the canvas. Jake says, go big or go home. Franco says they’re buddies, but he can talk to Andre – he’s one of the good guys. Jake says, but Franco gets it. He tells Franco about the action figures, and how he picked the scarecrow. He says it’s just a game though, and not as good as the stories with Franco. Elizabeth and Jason show up. Jake says he thought he could trust Franco, but he’s just like the rest of them.

Elizabeth says Franco is right, and the babysitter is very upset because she feels like she did something wrong. Jason says he’s too young to be out alone. Franco tells Jake that Jason is right and his parents call the shots. Jason wants to speak with Franco alone. Franco tells him to take his best shot. Jason says that’s what Franco wants.

Sam tells Alexis about the screen grab. Alexis thinks she knows who made the call. Sam shows her the picture.

Jax wonders what they should call it, and Carly says a rewind. He asks for some wine, and she leaves to get it. He says no guilt, no regret, and she says none.

Michael says he was waiting for Nelle like she had asked him to. She says she shouldn’t have come to Sonny’s house and shouldn’t have come to Port Charles. Sonny says she doesn’t want to be there when he tells Michael what she told him. He tells Michael about Nelle drugging him, and explains what happened, saying that it was all a twisted lie. He wants to tell Carly immediately. He tells Michael to tell Nelle to go, and get out of their lives forever. He leaves.

Michael tells Nelle that Sonny believes her because it absolves him, but she could just be telling him what he wants to hear. He asks if she really slept with Sonny, or drugged him and lied about it. Nelle explains that she didn’t want to sleep with Sonny, and thought it would be more decent. Michael wonders how that word could come out of her mouth. What she did is not only illegal, but she knows who Sonny is and what he does to his enemies. He asks why she didn’t tell him the truth. She says she was going to, but owed it to Sonny first; hurting Michael and Josslyn wasn’t in her plan. He snarks that being collateral damage makes him feel special. Nelle says she was going to tell him everything. He says that she threw away her last chance. She says they can still be friends, but he tells her to leave now.

Sonny bangs on Carly’s door. She tells him it’s not a good time, but he walks in anyway. He says that he has to tell her something that will change everything

Jason says that Franco acted like a responsible adult just to score points with Elizabeth. Jason doesn’t want Jake there again, and Franco repeats that he didn’t invite Jake over. Because Jason is so dense, he says that Franco convinced Jake that he understands him. He says don’t come near his kid again. Franco says that he does understand Jake better than Jason, and its pissing Jason off. Elizabeth comes in and asks what’s going on.

Alexis tells Sam that if Julian is alive, why is he torturing her? Sam says that she shouldn’t have told her. Curtis calls. After speaking with him, Sam tells Alexis that they know who used Julian’s card.

Jason tells Elizabeth that they were just discussing Jake’s well-being, and that the studio is off limits. Elizabeth says if Jake wants to paint, they’ll do it at home. Franco wonders why Jake came and feels more comfortable with him, and Jason says he’s a good manipulator. Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake is a great kid and takes after his mom.  They leave, and Franco cleans up. He finds a roll of paper and unrolls it. It’s the timeline. He looks at the scarecrow. Now there’s a boy hiding behind a tree next to it. Franco says Jake left this for him.

Nathan and Kristina have coffee. He says he wants to talk about Julian. Kristina says he’s dead. Nathan says Julian’s body was never recovered, and stranger things have been known to happen. That’s for sure. You can be in the middle of an explosion in Port Charles and still be alive. You could be the guy holding the bomb. Nathan thinks Alexis is keeping something from him, and might be placing herself in danger.

Sam says that Curtis traced the charge to a kid who found the card, and he said he purchased a bus ticket with it. The story checks out, since he was a runaway who had the card on him. Alexis says that doesn’t prove if Julian is dead or alive. Sam asks what answer she was hoping for, but Alexis doesn’t know.

The hooded figure lurks outside of Alexis’s house and opens the door. He goes inside.

Nelle begs Michael to believe her. He made her think she could move forward, not live in the past, and stop the plan, but it was too late. She doesn’t expect forgiveness now, but hopes someday he can. She couldn’t take it if he hated her. He says he can’t fix her; it’s not his job. He closes the door, leaving her on the porch crying.

Carly tells Sonny that it has to wait, but Sonny says it means a whole new beginning, and to just listen. He never slept with Nelle.

Tomorrow, Curtis meets with Hayden, Kristina asks what Alexis is hiding, and Sonny says he and Carly can be together.

Southern Charm

Whitney drops in on Thomas. We flash back to the pool party, and Whitney calls Thomas the Hugh Hefner of Charleston. He thinks being away from Kathryn has mellowed Thomas. Whitney says he’s single and ready to mingle, as his long-distance relationship became too long of a distance.

Kathryn tells us that the past year has been the worst. We flash back to the reunion where it was revealed she didn’t pass a drug test. She’s disappointed in herself, and totally humiliated. Geez, it’s not like it was heroin, for God’s sake. She visits a friend whose name I missed, but she’s been on the show before, and tells her about going to rehab. She says Thomas has temporary full custody, and she and Thomas aren’t on speaking terms right now. She’s hoping for eventual joint custody, having passed another drug test. They talk about Jennifer. Kathryn is skeptical of her friendship, since she’s been friendly with Thomas.

On her way to visit Jennifer, Cameran talks to her mother on the phone. They discuss Jennifer’s new baby having surgery. In her interview, Cameran tells us how not interested she is in having her own baby. She says she’s living her truth and it’s an empty one. I believe she’s referring to an empty nest, but I wish she’d worded that differently. A childless life isn’t necessarily an empty one. And there are always dogs. She arrives at Jennifer’s, bearing a baby gift. They look at baby Ascher, who is with the nanny. The poor thing needed brain surgery the day he was born because of brain matter protruding from his skull, but he’s doing well. Jennifer has an entire closet full of baby clothes for the rest of the Ascher’s baby life. Cameran says he’s cute and cuddly, but she still can’t find any maternal instincts.

Jennifer talks about Thomas reaching out, and Cameran tells her how well he’s taking care of the kids. She asks if Jennifer has talked to Kathryn, but she says no. This is kind of a shame, since Jennifer had been very supportive of Kathryn last season. Jennifer claims she “loves to love people,” but I get the feeling that it’s more like she loves to be loved. That kind of person doesn’t always make for a loyal friend.

Shep meets with Craig at some batting cages. Craig says baseball was his life growing up, and he wanted to play in the major leagues. After he gets up to bat, I see why that idea fizzled. Shep tells him about talking to Naomie. He asks how long Craig has known he didn’t graduate from law school, but Craig says it’s been no secret. Shep wonders if Craig has a secret family somewhere, since he never seems to tell the truth, and they discuss him mailing the last test out. Craig wonders why Shep is obsessed with this, and Shep says he doesn’t think Craig wants to be a lawyer. Craig calls Shep a loser. In his interview, he says Shep is 36, and still going out every night. He wonders why he has to prove himself to his friends. Craig suggests they drop it. I’m with Craig on this. He’s 27, and if he wants to try different things, and as long as he’s not sitting around on his ass, who cares? He’s also a very nice and diplomatic guy. And it’s not like he’s asking to borrow money either.

Landon (ew!) works with her interns on her website. She says it’s finally starting to come together. She was humiliated after last year’s meeting with the internet dude. We flash back to him telling her all she had was a handful of papers. She needed to figure out how to take her idea to the technology world “which is so new to her.” I’m not even sure what to say about that. She wants to prove herself to her family. We flash back to her father telling her that she can’t live off of her dreams. She gets all teary, and says she’s putting herself out there. She doesn’t think she’ll get another chance, and if this doesn’t work, she’ll have to work for her dad in real estate. This woman is so ridiculous.

Cameran meets with Chelsea, and asks if she’s attending “Landon’s thing.” By the rest of the conversation, I assume Landon is having some kind of launch party. Cameran thinks Chelsea might be the one to change Shep into a one-woman man. She says that Chelsea is the female version of Shep, except she’s not a whore. Alrighty then.

Austen, Whitney and Shep go out for some food. Whitney welcomes Austen to the group. They talk about the pool party, and Shep shows interest in Chelsea. He says he, Chelsea and Cameran are going out in a couple of days, and he’s going to see if they really click. Whitney talks about Landon having a showing for her website, and that they’re supposed to critique it. They probably already know that anything less than a compliment will make her cry. Shep tells them about how Landon met with a group of internet developers, and she acted like a jerk. They were angry and appalled. In his interview, Shep says Landon wants to be the hipster queen of Charleston.

Naomie gets home, and Craig tells her about Landon’s test launch. Naomie is working on her masters, and says they’re on totally different schedules. She wonders what Craig actually does, and we see him giving cat Gizmo a ride in the wheelbarrow. Craig tells her about Shep’s ambush, saying it’s not like Shep has any kind of career path. Naomie says that their circumstances are different. In her interview, she says in her perfect world, Craig would pass the bar, they’d both get great jobs, make loads of money, and travel the world, but it takes work, and she’s not his babysitter. Uh-oh. It’s never good to look at a boyfriend like a fixer-upper. Craig says that Shep brought some of the others into it, and he doesn’t want to have to prove himself to anyone. He thinks it’s just going to be group settings for a while.

Landon is proud of herself. She wants to show her friends that she has a real job. Omg, she can’t even talk on the phone without saying “um” a thousand times. Everyone gets ready for the party. Thomas compliments his reflection in French. He thinks Landon is misread, and that she can really follow through. Enjoy being alone in that opinion.

The party is at a bar. Good move getting them drunk before they look at the website. Landon greets her friends. Drew is wearing a tuxedo, and shows off his cufflinks. Cameran arrives, and looks like she didn’t comb her hair for the occasion, so I’m confused about the dress code. Whitney brings a girl named Daisy, who looks like she’s dressed from a 1920s fashion catalog. Whoa. She’s very animated too.

Cameran tells Craig that she’s mad at him for telling Shep that they’re not real friends. He tells her what Shep said about them keeping him out of the loop. Craig says that Shep claimed that everyone is mad at him for not taking the bar, and that’s why he’s not in the group chat anymore. Shep told him that they make fun of him, and Cameran says they do make fun of his Instagram, showing us some examples in her interview. Craig says if they don’t want to be friends, fine.

Shep thinks he looks like a Creamsicle. Chelsea says they go well together. Everyone looks at the site. Apparently, Landon doesn’t write the content, so I’m not sure what it is she does do. Shep flirts with Naomie, annoying Craig. Thomas talks about pixilation like he knows what he’s talking about. Chelsea flirts with the other guys, and Cameran tells Shep he needs to lay claim. He’s like, free love, and makes a peace sign. Everyone congratulates Landon. They’re just happy that anything she’s attempted exists at all. Landon says she has a purpose now. Shep face palms in his interview. He takes Landon to the side, and asks her impressions of the developers who she talked to. He tells her that critiquing their software was a bad idea, and how she came off entitled. He tells her that first impressions last a long time. She complains that they talked down to her, and Shep tells her that entrepreneurs have to eat a lot of sh*t when they start out. She says when she’s not bitchy, she gets taken advantage of, and when she is, she’s a bitch. Shep tells her just say she’ll take it under advisement, and kill them with kindness. In her interview, she says that Shep has never had a job and rained on her parade. She tells one of her friends that Shep called her a bitch. Now she wants to go home. Don’t forget to take your dolls and jacks with you.

Chelsea meets Craig at his bar. In his interview, he says her being friends with Cameran changes the stakes of the game, but anything can happen. Cameran joins them, feeling like a third wheel. She points out the sparkle in Shep’s eye and he says it’s because he’s not hung over. The liquor comes, and he tells them that there are kids who aren’t drunk in China, so drink up.

They discuss Landon’s website. Shep talks about an app he’s investing in, but it’s not Landon’s. He tells them what the web guys had to say about Landon, and how she didn’t take it well when he told her. Cameran thinks she should give Shep and Chelsea some privacy, and Shep says what happens with Chelsea, stays with Chelsea.

Next time, Kathryn tries to get a modeling job, Chelsea and Shep spend the night together, and Naomie suggests Craig not be so last minute with everything.

Vanderpump Rules – The Reunion Part Two

Andy asks Lisa why she had such mixed emotions about firing James, when it didn’t take much to fire Kristen. Lisa says she did Kristen a favor when she fired her, but James had problems. She says he didn’t seem in control, but when she saw the footage, realized how provocative he’d been. Jax says he’s like a wind-up doll – give him alcohol and he goes. We flash back to some of that. James says he’s got triggers, man, he’s got triggers. It’s bizarre how these kids talk like beatniks and hippies from another time. Ariana says he and Jax are a lot alike. Andy asks Lisa why she told James to stay away from alcohol, like that’s not obvious. She says that when he drinks, he turns into a monster, and he’s young enough to get a grip.

Time to talk about Montauk. Andy is amused that the group had to google what a clambake was. Kristen informs us that the urban dictionary has a different definition involving weed. Andy asks about Scheana’s restrictive diet, and all the girls talk at once. Scheana feels that she gets picked on for being stringent with herself. Andy finally has to tell them to shut up.

Ariana’s birthday is discussed. Andy brings up how Jax was just out of surgery, and asks if he followed doctor’s orders during the NASCAR weekend. That would be a no regarding alcohol. They talk about how nasty it was, living in the RV together. Andy asks about Lala seeming to accept the groups’ olive branch, and then ghosting them at the last minute. Lala claims she was in panic attack mode, especially since Jax made her feel like she wasn’t wanted beforehand. She didn’t want to be cooped up in an RV with that. Tom says he made it clear that wouldn’t happen, and that it’s more like she didn’t feel like going. She says she wishes it was that simple, but he doesn’t believe her. He asks if her boyfriend was in town, and she says he lives in LA. Tom says that a friend outed her about being at the Beverly Hills Hotel that weekend.

Andy basically asks where Lala’s money comes from. She says her family has money, and her mother pays most of her bills. The Range Rover is brought up, because we can never, ever forget about that, and there’s a bunch of nonsense about the car. Andy asks if she was dating a married man.

Lala says no, and that no one will ever get the answer they’re looking for. He asks if she’s still dating the same person, and she won’t answer. Lisa says she deliberately creates intrigue. Stassi says if she wants respect, she has to give the same. Tom says that Stassi did the same thing in season three, but Stassi says that was Patrick’s choice. She says they put their lives out there, and Lala doesn’t have the right to lie. Lala says that Stassi knows nothing about her situation, and it’s nobody’s business. She tells Stassi to stop being a mean girl and gets nasty. Tom says he would love not to have his personal life on the show, or how about Tom and Katie? He tells Lala that it’s not fair. Stassi’s situation isn’t really comparable here. We knew about Patrick, he just didn’t want to be on the show. There are plenty of SOs we don’t see on reality shows.

Andy asks why Kristen thought James was the key to taking Lala down, and it’s universally agreed that James is easily manipulated. Andy asks why he agreed to meet with them, and he says they sucked him in with their lies. The girls are insistent that they weren’t lying; that this is what they heard. Andy asks about the NDA (non-disclosure agreement) from Lala. Lala explains why she would do something like that. Brittany calls it an NBA, and says she doesn’t even know what it is, so Andy has to explain. Lala says she had a bad experience, and wants to control what people post online about her. Tom suggests she not be around people she can’t trust.

They get off track, and Andy tries to corral the group. He asks Lala if the real reason was that her boyfriend didn’t want the relationship disclosed. She says she has NDAs to protect her life off of the show. Andy is like no offense, but why are you so special? He talks about her withdrawing, and she says she was becoming an unhealthy individual. She was liquored up 24/7 and not in a good head space. He asks why Lisa tried to convince her to stay. Lisa says running back to mommy is no way to grow up, and Lala is stronger than she thinks.

Andy asks if it’s really good-by for Lala with the group, and everyone goes, nah. Lala apologizes to everybody for being mean. Schwartz says she’s awesome, considering. Lala says when someone comes into a situation where everyone has their dukes up already, defensiveness is to be expected. We say good-by to Lala – for now.

Next up are Tom and Ariana. Tom’s animosity about Ariana’s cocktail book is discussed. Ariana felt he shouldn’t just jump in after she put in the initial footwork, but the end result was they’re both doing the book. Andy asks why Ariana doesn’t want Tom to put a ring on it. She says she just doesn’t see the point, and everyone pushing it is getting irritating. Andy mentions that Brittany has been planning her wedding for her entire life, and Jax suggests Denny’s as a venue. Stassi says that her family marries and divorces for sport.

We cover the comedy night where Jax’s d*ck pic was revealed, and thankfully, which Brittany’s mother did not attend. I could swear this was the prior season. Jax says he only cared because of Brittany, who says they promised nothing like that would happen again. Lisa thought it was tacky, thoughtless, and mean. Andy asks why Brittany brought her mother to the roast, and Lisa says she was horrified. We flash back to Lisa cautioning Brittany’s mother about Jax. Lisa says if Brittany was her daughter, she wouldn’t be too happy. Andy brings up Brittany’s mother being most upset by the thought of Jax kissing a guy, which I think is weird too. Jax says he probably would have been more concerned about the cheating and the drugs. Tom thought it was inappropriate, but Jax says that it’s to be expected from a mom. Brittany talks about her mother getting a huge amount of flack on social media, and says she isn’t homophobic in any way. Andy says as a gay guy, he totally understood. Jax says she lives in a different, very conservative world.

We go back in time to Jax’s visit to Kentucky. A lot of it involves animals and four-wheelers. And Jax being grilled about marrying Brittany. I don’t remember this at all. Did they even show any of this?

Stassi’s younger brother Nicolai is introduced. The voice of reason. Stassi calls him brave for being on the show, and I agree. Andy asks what he thought about Stassi and Jax as a couple. He says it was good at first, but went wrong. We flash back to a conversation between him and Jax. Patrick is discussed. Tom asks Stassi if he knocked the show and Andy asks if that’s part of the reason she left. She says he wasn’t too happy about it, and she did partly leave for that reason, but he seemed supportive once she left. Andy asks if Nicolai is sad about the Patrick break-up, and Nicolai drops pearls of wisdom. Stassi says she doesn’t take him seriously until she sees it on TV. We flash back to him telling her that life is tough, especially in your 20s. Andy asks how he’s so wise, and he says that he just absorbs it. We also learn that Sex in the City is one of his favorite shows. Andy asks what the weirdest thing about Stassi is. Nicolai tells us about her reaction during a cringeworthy moment. He says he’s proud about her sticking up for herself and that she really does care about other people. I think she does. For goodness’ sake, she cried when she heard Schwartz had cheated on Katie.

Andy asks for advice for everyone. Schwartz is first. Nicolai thinks Schwartz shouldn’t call girls bitches. Schwartz says he’s working on that, and Nicolai tells him to work harder. He suggests Katie lower it down on the drinking, and she’ll get more friends. He tells Jax that he’s going to die alone and drunk if he doesn’t change his ways. Out of the mouths of babes. He tells Ariana to think about other people more. Scheana is told that there’s no picking a side. She says she doesn’t, but actually, in not picking a side, you’re picking a side. Think about it. Nicolai says there’s no problem with Brittany, and tells Lisa to keep up the great business work. She thinks maybe she should hire him as her personal advisor. He also says nothing is wrong on Andy’s end.

The events up to Katie’s wedding are discussed. Scheana talks about feeling excluded. Kristen accuses her of not contributing, but she insists she did. We move on to Lisa’s shower gift of a blow-up doll named Katie, and Katie gushes over Pandora’s spa day gift. Andy brings up the altercation between Katie and Scheana, and we flash back to the disastrous bridesmaids’ lunch. Katie thinks Scheana deflects, but Scheana says that Katie is mean when she drinks. She says there’s a difference between a drinking problem and being an alcoholic. She tells Katie that everyone has had a problem with Katie’s drinking at one time or another. We flash back to all that. She insists that she’s never called Katie an alcoholic. Katie says she doesn’t have a problem either. <sigh>

Andy asks Stassi how it felt to have Ariana tell her that she didn’t give a flying. Stassi says Ariana has consistently hurt her feelings. Ariana says that Stassi is manipulating, and she didn’t believe that her feelings were really hurt. The girls all protest, and Ariana says whenever she answers a question honestly, she’s the a-hole. Katie says she’s holding Stassi accountable for things she did in the past and she doesn’t know who Stassi is today. Schwartz says that was the 2012 Stassi. Ariana says there’s no difference, and brings up Stassi saying that she’s wanted to crack her. Stassi says it wasn’t meant to be mean, and the girls all say she was just joking. Ariana says maybe she doesn’t want to be friends with people who joke like that. She thought it was another opportunity for Stassi to be the victim. She always wants people to be apologizing. Stassi says no matter what, they won’t like her.

Next time, The Reunion Part Three, Shay joins the group, the Vegas trip is discussed, and so is Katie’s drinking.

🚑 Better Call Saul returned tonight. I watched most of the first season, and it was much better (and funnier) than I expected it to be. So much good TV, so little time.

🐮 On Sweet Home Oklahoma, Lee’s new neighbor cut down a tree on her property immediately upon moving in, claiming that he “knocked on her door.” I’m in awe of her self-control in not totally going off on the neighbor. Angie aka Pumps suggested that she throw some baseballs through the neighbor’s window, and then say she knocked on the door. Instead, Lee plants some shrubs in the shape of a middle finger. I like it. Jennifer also planned a party for her French bulldog, Tubbers. She and her 9-year-old son then conspired to tell Pumps that it’s a costume party – when it’s not – because she’s given Jennifer so much grief over calling Tubbers a service dog. They were both dying laughing while setting it up, and it almost made me wish I had a kid. Almost. I love these people. They’re definitely a group I could hang out with.

👂 I gotta mention this. I was raised by a sailor, so I’m fine with cursing, but it’s not something I think should be taught to kids. Why am I saying this? I’ve been watching TV a long time – it was my babysitter growing up – and I have never heard so much cursing. I lost count of how many times I heard sh*t, especially during The Walking Dead, but now the f-word is getting pretty close to being openly said. It’s still bleeped, but just barely, and all you need to hear are the first and last letter to have your mental ear fill in the rest. And I’m not talking a cable station like HBO. Bravo, I’m talkin’ to you.

April 3, 2017 – Good-by Lady Jane, Hello Southern Charm, Vanderkids Reunite & a Sweet Comment

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

So when is Faison getting back to Port Charles already?

Michael finds Larry in his office. Larry claims that he thought it was Tracy’s office.

Laura and Tracy arrive at the monastery in Turkey.

Jason makes a psyche appointment for Jake. Sam is impressed. She asks if they’re moving forward with their other idea, but Jason says it’s not up to him. Sonny arrives, and makes a cute, dimply smile.

Carly tells Josslyn that she’s been distracted. She says she’s been in her own world, and Josslyn asks if her world includes Sonny. Carly says that Sonny has always loved Josslyn, but Josslyn thinks they should divorce.

Someone watches Alexis from outside Kelly’s. She steps outside and sees Jax.

Laura thinks they should find somewhere to sleep before they lose daylight. Tracy wants to find her painting first. She’s concerned that Larry might be a step ahead of her. Two monks pop out, babbling in Turkish. Laura tells Tracy that it’s Turkish for trouble.

Larry says he was looking for the minibar, but Michael says there isn’t one. Larry asks to be pointed in Tracy’s direction, but Ned interrupts saying, no you don’t.

Jax sits down with Alexis. She wonders if it’s a happy coincidence, and apologizes for how she behaved last time. He asks if she’s in recovery. She says she had a relapse, but she’s on the wagon today. He gives her his condolences about Julian. She says she feels him everywhere, and he asks if she wants to talk about it.

Sonny asks what’s up, and Sam says Jason will explain. She tells him Jason has something personal to ask, and to think hard before he makes a decision. Jason tells him they want him to be Scout’s godfather. Isn’t he already a godfather? Ha-ha! They’re also asking Carly to be her godmother.

Carly tells Josslyn that when you love someone, you can’t just turn off the feelings. Josslyn tells her that she’s worth a hundred Sonnys, and to stop messing around and get a divorce. Now tell us how you really feel.

Alexis tells Jax about Olivia-J forcing Julian’s hand, but she doesn’t think anyone else believes he was sincere. Jax says she loved him, and that’s all that matters. Sam walks in, and Jax tells her congratulations on the new baby. He says he has to be somewhere, and leaves. Sam asks if Carly knows he’s in Port Charles.

Carly tries to change the subject, but Josslyn isn’t having it. She says Carly can at least get started with divorce proceedings. Carly says it’s not that simple, but Josslyn says she’s just pretending it is, so she doesn’t have to do it. Carly says it’s painful and complicated, and she has a life with Sonny. It’s going to affect other people, including Josslyn. She says she’s not getting a divorce yet, and Josslyn asks what if Sonny thinks differently?

Sonny tells Jason that if anything should happen to them, he’ll make sure Scout is taken care of. Jason asks if including Carly is going to make him uncomfortable. Sonny wonders if they’re thinking this could bring them back together.

Tracy asks the monks if they have any food, and Laura asks if she wants to star in her own version of Midnight Express. Laura tells Tracy to let her do the talking. While Laura discusses things with the monks, Tracy looks up, talking to Edward. Laura tells Tracy that they’re not getting kicked out after all.

Larry tells Ned there’s nothing to worry about, and Ned says there is with him. He says he has a good friend in the state department; one wrong move, and Larry is back home. Larry says he has the opportunity of a lifetime, and Ned says he’s not getting anywhere near Tracy. Michael tells them that she’s not in yet. Larry says he’ll wait, and Ned says he will too. Olivia-F, who I didn’t even notice was there, introduces herself, and Ned tells Larry that she’s his fiancé.

Michael congratulates them, and Olivia shows off the ring. Michael says he’ll have his assistant track Tracy down, and Olivia goes with him. Ned tells Larry let’s hear it. Larry doesn’t know whether to toast or eulogize him.

Tracy and Laura are shown to a room. Tracy balks at there being only one bed. The monk says something, and Laura says they’re not to leave the room. Women are only allowed there for worship, and services are over for the day. She adds that she told them they’d give a small donation, and Tracy owes them 2000 lira. Tracy wonders where the painting is, but Laura says they claimed not to know about it. She thinks when things quiet down, they should explore.

Sam tells Alexis that she can talk to her, but Alexis feels that she’s cried on Sam’s shoulder enough. Sam says she saw Jason many times after she lost him. Alexis says she got another phone call and heard the noise again. She wonders if she’s going crazy. She says she can’t shake Julian, and can’t seem to let go. Sam sums up what death on a soap is all about – without a body, she can’t believe he’s gone.

Jason tells Sonny that he and Carly have their support no matter what. There’s a knock at the door. No surprise, it’s Carly.

Josslyn starts to leave the house, and finds Jax on the porch.

Ned wonders how Larry could have a problem with Olivia-F, but he says it’s not the choice of partner, it’s the institution itself. Ned says Edward and Lila worked out, but Larry says they were the exception to the rule. Ned says he’s looking to the future, and isn’t repeating his mistakes. Olivia listens from the hallway. Larry tells him about good intentions paving the road to hell, and says no leopard can change its spots. Ned tells him that he and Olivia are honest with each other. He says she’s an extraordinary woman, and makes him want to be a better man. Larry says it does sound like he’s in love. Ned says he’d hoped Larry would be happy for him. Larry says he let the love of his life slip through his fingers. Ned tells Larry how happy he is, and Larry approves. Olivia smiles.

Laura says it’s not a vacation; it’s an adventure. Tracy says she’s more comfortable in a board room, despite what her father thought. Laura says her father admired her and talked about her all the time. He said she was treacherous, duplicitous, and ruthless, and everything he needed to run ELQ. She could be his greatest adversary, but also his best friend. She was his greatest accomplishment.

Sam understands that Alexis can’t move forward without proof. She’s already started investigating.

Sonny asks Jason if it’s a set-up, and Carly says she’ll come back. Jason tells her to stay right there, and explains about asking them to be godparents. Carly says of course she’ll do it. She says it’s about Scout, not them. Sonny says they can come together for that, even though their lives are apart.

Josslyn asks Jax if Carly called and told him about her and Sonny. He’s clueless, and she tells him they’re estranged. He says he needs to talk to her. He has bad news about Lady Jane; she’s passed away. He tears up, and says he’s sorry. They hug.

Laura tells Tracy that Edward thought of her as his heir apparent. Tracy says he disinherited her twice. Laura says she thinks he was afraid of her, but for all of his bluster, he wore his heart on his sleeve. It was clear that he saw a bright, capable woman, who wouldn’t just supplant, but surpass him. Tracy wonders what she’s doing here. Laura asks why it’s hard for her to accept Edward’s love. Tracy says he never said he loved her, and Laura says he was stingy with the words because they were valuable to him.

Michael brings in champagne. Ned makes a toast. Michael asks Olivia-F if she’s moving in to the Quartermaine mansion, but Olivia says they haven’t discussed it. Michael says living with the Quartermaines can be difficult. Olivia says difficult, but rewarding.

Laura tells Tracy that if the trip is going to bring up bad memories, they can scrap it. She can forget all about it. Tracy says good idea, but when they open the door, they hear crying. Tracy says it sounds like a woman, and Laura says they’re the only women there.

Alexis asks Sam if she has a lead. Sam says the call might not have been from Julian. If Julian was worried about criminal charges, he’d get as far away as possible. She tells Alexis that it’s difficult, but not to get her hopes up.

Carly says it’s settled; they’re godparents. Jason thanks them. Carly says what if Sonny had said no, but Jason says there was no plan B. He figured they’d put aside differences for Scout. She leaves, and Sonny follows. He tells her that they need to talk. She says they did, and he said everything she needed to hear. He walks away.

Josslyn tells Jax that her grandmother sounded like she was doing better. She wishes she’d been there. Jax says her grandmother wanted her to remember her the way she was. He says she died in her sleep, and it was peaceful. Josslyn asks if he was there, and he says he was. He says it was sad for him, but she had an amazing life, full of people who loved her. Josslyn was one of the brightest lights in her life. He gives her a letter from her grandmother. She doesn’t want to read it right now. They talk about missing her.

Sam gets back home. Jason says Scout has her godparents, but he’s not so sure about Sonny and Carly getting back together.

Sonny tells Diane to clear the afternoon. He has something for her.

Sam tells Jason that she doesn’t think Alexis can let it go until they can prove Julian is gone. She shows Jason the footage from the gas station camera. He says it could be Julian, but a lot of guys fit that description. Sam gets an alert that Julian’s credit card was used.

Outside Kelly’s, Alexis makes plans to meet Molly for lunch. A hooded figure watches her.

Ned asks about Tracy, and Michael says he’s sure she’s on her way. Ned says she gave her blessing, but that’s before Olivia turned him down the first time. Larry says that Tracy is a pussycat, and Ned says he’s had too much to drink. Larry thinks she’ll be distracted by his proposal. Ned says she’s best resist his scam, but Larry insists he has the deal of a lifetime for the both of them. Michael gets a message, and tells them that Tracy chartered company jet for going to Turkey. Larry does spit take.

Tracy and Laura catch the monks trying to sneak out with the painting. Tracy tells them that she’s Edward’s daughter, and the painting is hers. They uncover the painting, and it’s a portrait of Tracy, during the period when she wore braids on top of her head.

Jax and Josslyn look at photos and reminisce. She asks about a hat that her grandmother is wearing, and Jax says it’s hers. Her grandmother would want her to have it.

We see that the episode is in memory of Barbara Tarbuck. She played Lady Jane on GH, and passed away recently.

Tomorrow, Jason talks to Andre about Jake, Nathan asks Sam if Julian has a plan to leave town, and Tracy wants answers now.

Southern Charm

Thomas brings Landon a flower. Then walks her dog with her. They sit on a park bench. She asks what he thinks will make him happy. He says a partner in life. He thinks they should take a chance. Yuk! But they deserve each other. This could also be a deceptive scene.

Patricia looks up Pug Chauncey’s horoscope.

Shep is scouting the bars, looking for his credit card, which he lost the night before. Cameran calls him a moron, and he says he knows.

Cameran can’t find Craig. She thinks he’s embarrassed about having to admit he didn’t finish law school at the reunion. Well, he wasn’t that hard to find. He’s in his yard building…something. Carpentry is his new hobby, along with gardening. Instead of going out on the weekends, he’s been buying new power tools. He still has plans to study for the bar, but Cameran says no one is holding a gun to his head. He tells her that he wants to be able to say he finished something that he started.

Thomas says his life has taken a transformative change. Kathryn failed a drug test, and now he has the kids. They’re living in the guest house because “kids are messy and destructive.” If they spit up, he wants it to be on a $200 rug, rather than a $30K rug. No comment. Kathryn can’t see the kids until she passes a drug test. What is it? Weed? Please. Or something else? Thomas says his least favorite part isn’t poopy diapers, but concern about their future, especially if something should happen to him.

Shep meets his friend Austen. Austen is already chatting with a couple of girls. They talk about the summer. Shep traveled a lot. He asks if Austen knows Landon, and says that he wants the truth about if she slept with Thomas. We flash back to Landon’s confession of love for Shep. He says it’s the South, so they’re just sweeping that under the rug. The girl Shep had been talking with is leaving, but he can’t remember her name, so no phone number. Austen tells Shep that she’d already given him her number.

Is Austen a new cast member? Omg, he’s telling us all about being newly single, and we see his nakey butt getting into the shower. It’s not a great view, and nobody needs to see this. He He’s originally from Maryland, and tells us that he actually has a job – as a beer company rep. He gets paid to drink and talk about beer. This is a real job? He flashes back to his parents telling him that he needs to support himself. They actually work too.

Whitney visits his mom, who’s doing a needlepoint of Chauncey. She has a new buzzer instead of a bell. She calls for Michael, the great martini maker, and they order drinks. Whitney tells her about a trip he took to Mexico, where they didn’t do any drinking, an just smoked weed. Patricia gives him a lecture, and brings up Kathryn, so that answers that question. In her interview, she seems sincere in hoping that Kathryn turns her life around. I think what Kathryn needs is rehab from Thomas. Patricia tells Whitney about an Uncle Philip, who went from a government job to working at Blockbuster because he smoked too much weed. It reminds me of one of those old, laughable PSAs.

Landon goes paddle boarding. And promptly falls off. She tells us that her life was a complete mess last year, and we flash back to some of that. She’s annoyed about the Thomas affair gossip, because her reputation is at stake. She spent the summer traveling, and now it’s time to face the bullsh*t again. Craig calls, and they talk about an upcoming pool party. She doesn’t think she and Shep are cool, even though Shep says they are. She’s bringing a friend named Drew, but when Craig asks if they’re dating, she avoids the question. Omg, she’s thirty-five. Seriously, is it me, or are people more immature today?

Thomas plays some polo with Eliza, the daughter of one of his close friends, and she keeps calling him grandpa. He’s too stupid to be insulted. She invites him to a party on Sunday (is this the pool party?) and he tells her that she should invite Kathryn. She tells him that she got a weird text from Kathryn, and she’d been kicked out of where she was living. She says she became friends with Kathryn before all this happened, and Thomas thinks it’s going to be a long road. Eliza says Kathryn needs Jesus. No doubt in my mind.

Shep meets Cameron at a beachwear shop. They’re looking for new suits for the party. She asks who he’s bringing, and he says Austen. Cameron asks if Austen is replacing Craig, and tells him she’s bringing Chelsea. She thinks Chelsea might be the mystical unicorn who changes Shep. They talk about Craig. Shep thinks the bar is over for him, since it’s been three years. In his interview, Shep says he’s over Craig and trying to help him. Cameran says that Craig is insecure. Shep says he’s from a family that’s basically jocks, and he wrote a cookbook. He’s not like them, and decided he wanted to be like a Southern bon vivant, and trying to be something he’s not. He wonders if Craig lies to his girlfriend. He says there’s no way Craig is cheating on her, and gives a funny analogy about Craig trying to get some, involving monkeys and whorehouses.

Kathryn calls Craig as he’s driving with girlfriend Naomie. She says she’s trying to get her life back on track, and living with her family in the meantime. She says she’d like to see them. Naomie has to get back to school, but Craig says he has time. In his interview, he admits his life has been calmer without her. We flash back, but none of the angst shown is actually Kathryn’s fault. Kathryn says it isn’t public knowledge that she’s back. After they hang up, Craig feels weird that they’re on their way to Landon’s house. They agree not to mention the call.

The guests start to gather for the pool party. Cameron says it’s 150 degrees and immediately puts on her bathing suit. I often think I wouldn’t mind living in Charleston, but then I remember how freaking hot it is there. She says Craig has promised to retire the Speedo. Shep introduces Austen as his protégée, but Austen says he’s a younger, better version of Shep.

As soon as they arrive at Landon’s, Craig tells her about talking to Kathryn. She pretends not to care that Craig is still friends with her. She says it’s a red flag that Kathryn went to rehab so far away and she couldn’t see her children. Um…it’s possible that there were reasons for that. Craig says sober Kathryn is awesome, and they talk about the kids. Landon says she can’t even go to lunch with Thomas without someone saying something nasty. In his interview, Craig says it doesn’t matter if they actually hooked up, Landon and Thomas were having an emotional affair, and it hurt Kathryn. He goes to say that an emotional affair can be even worse than a physical one, and I stare open-mouthed at the TV, because Craig is being so incredibly perceptive.

The pool party is in full swing. Cameran is drinking something called Frozé, which sounds God awful. In his interview, Thomas says that all the talk about them widened the gap between him and Landon. Ew! JD shows up and I don’t like him. Thomas chats with Landon about the summer. She thinks she can hear people talking behind her back, but I don’t hear them, so I don’t know if she’s just being dramatic. What annoys her most is that even if she had been with Thomas, it’s not like he and Kathryn are together. Did I just hear Thomas say that Landon has BO?

Whitney arrives. Everyone seems to be getting reacquainted, so I guess they don’t see much of each other in the summer. If it’s that hot when it’s not summer, I’d be gone too. In her interview, Landon says that Shep hasn’t reached out to apologize or anything, but in true Southern fashion, she acts glad to see him when she wants to tell him f-u. I’m not sure what he’s supposed to apologize for. Not returning her affection?

Thomas acts like an idiot per usual, urging the female guests to go topless. Shep talks to Naomie on the porch. He thinks Craig should do something unconventional, like being a chef. He doesn’t think Craig really wants to be a lawyer. He asks about Craig’s application to the bar, but Naomie says he should talk to Craig. Shep says he refuses to make himself vulnerable when that’s what friendship is about. What happened to these guys that they’re suddenly so astute? He tells Naomie that she’s the best thing that’s happened to Craig.

There’s a waterslide and beach balls and floaties and all kinds of fun stuff. Kathryn’s cousin, Shelby (there always has to be one), is there, and word has it, Kathryn is coming. Shelby says she’s worried about Kathryn, and had to ask her to move. I guess her place is where Kathryn was given the boot. She says Kathryn completed the program, but doesn’t seem any better.

Naomie tells them about the phone call, and says Kathryn sounded great. Thomas says she won’t take another drug test, and thinks it’s because she’ll fail. Cameran says she has respect for him stepping up for the kids. Ew! JD says he keeps thinking Kathryn is going to walk in wearing a ballgown, and make a statement.

Meanwhile, Kathryn goes to an appointment for a drug test.

This season, lots of drinking and parties, a toast to the bourgeoisie, Kathryn and Shep do yoga, Patricia presents an Indian psychic healer, Naomie asks Craig if he wants to be a lawyer and he tells her she’s being “dumb,” Austen hooks up with Shelby, Kathryn joins the group again, Jennifer is still around, and Shep tells Craig that if you mess with the bull, you get the horns. I can’t even believe anyone says that.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part One

Reunions are tough to recap because everyone always starts talking at once, or even better, screeching at once. They should put in subtitles, or a flow chart in the corner.

Andy introduces Lisa as the Empress of SUR. No, Andy, she is the Queen of the World, She Who Can Do No Wrong. Introductions are made, and we find out that Stassi went on the honeymoon with Katie and Schwartz. Thank God Tom has gotten a haircut and those ridiculous highlights are gone. Scheana has a fresh cut too, and it looks amazing.

Jax is up first. Omg, Andy forgot to introduce Kristen. He remembered because of course we’re going over the Brittany/Kristen debacle. Kristen insists it didn’t happen, but James believes Jax. Britanny says it was just a kiss, and that they weren’t even nakey. Andy basically asks Jax if he has no shame, and he doesn’t. Andy moves on.

The wedding is discussed. The budget issue is brought up, and Schwartz has to agree that he was delusional thinking it could be pulled off on the cheap. Ew! We revisit the butt steaks. Andy asks Stassi how it felt to be back in the friend loop and be a bridesmaid, and she says it was everything. They talk about prenups. Lisa can’t figure out why Schwartz and Katie bothered, since they had fifty bucks between them. She says Shay was a different story, although Scheana says she had nothing at the time either.

Jax and Brittany have moved. To Schwartz and Katie’s building. And their floor. Katie says she doesn’t want it to be a dorm situation, and wasn’t too happy about it. Brittany tells us the story about Jax losing his temper at the apartment management, and they basically were asked to leave. Jax says they weren’t evicted, but got “move out papers,” whatever that means.

Focusing on James. Lisa says he was a good DJ until he screwed up. They talk about James’s lack of self-control. We flash back to James spinning at World Dog Day, and reminding people to pick up their dog’s poop. Apparently, he played all his own music.

Lisa talks about World Dog Day and how successful it was. Andy says he can mark the start of summer by Lisa getting a new Porsche. They discuss Katie picking up the car, and how Katie got annoyed at Schwartz when they were at the dealer. Schwartz tells everyone one again that his penis works, and says Jax can verify that.

Next is the tragedy in Orlando, and Lisa’s decision to continue on with the Pride events. They have the coolest flashback using a filter that brings out only a few colors, Lisa’s pink outfit being the predominant one. Lisa gets emotional, and says she felt that they could either go home or stand strong, but she didn’t hold it against anyone who didn’t join in. The employees who sat it out make their excuses. Lisa says it was an incredible success, and she’s glad she made the decision. We flash back to the craziness at PUMP. We hear that Katie sent a snotty text message about the celebration, and Katie says there are better ways to show support, other than pouring alcohol down someone’s throat. Ariana says it wasn’t about them having fun, it was about the Pride attendees having fun. Andy tells everyone that Lala will be joining them, and a lot of faces are made.

We go over Lala’s tattoos. Andy asks about the feud with Katie. Katie says Lala acted like a drunken a-hole at her engagement party, and she didn’t see her after that, but Lala was talking a lot about her. Lala says before Katie ever even knew her, Katie called her a whore. She calls Katie a mean girl.

Andy wants to know why Lala said some things. He goes over some really stupid stuff that Lala has said, like calling Stassi old. He asks why Lala said that Katie and Schwartz would get divorced, and Lala says because that’s what she thinks. She finally admits that she just said stuff to be hurtful. She says if someone keeps coming at her, she gets more hurt and lashes out. She says she doesn’t get them, and James suggests they liked hating on her. Kristen says he did too, until he hooked up with her. Tom says that Lala did nothing to deserve the treatment she got, and Kristen says she trashed them on social media.

We revisit Jax almost thumping James. Tom says Jax is all bark and no bite, but Jax says he was on probation, so he had to stand down. Andy asks why James talked about Scheana having work done, and James apologizes for everything he’s ever said – almost. They talk about Lala’s comment that no one has been working on their summer bodies, and Stassi says Lala doesn’t take responsibility for her remarks.

Schwartz talks about Ariana and Tom being on Lala’s side, and Katie gets pissed off all over again. Tom says she takes no responsibility for provoking it, and it’s an ongoing thing. He says when she first met Lala, Katie was constantly giving her sh*t. He says he’s normally protective of the group when a new person is introduced, but she went on a rampage.

Andy tells Lisa that the unsung heroes of SUR are the chefs, and he goes behind-the-scenes in the kitchen to interview them. He talks about each of the girls and the chefs give their opinions. It turns out that they have quite a few opinions, even on the Brittany/Kristen thing. BTW, they think Jax is no good for Brittany. He also steals something every time he comes in the kitchen. And they like Brittany’s boobs. I’m sure Jax will be proud.

James is still dating Raquel. Andy asks about GG saying he had sex with her, which he continues to deny. Ariana claims that GG wanted to worm her way into the group, but Stassi says that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. We move on to Ellie’s claim, and the picture she had as evidence. Lisa isn’t buying that James is being honest. Andy asks if anyone believes that James didn’t sleep with GG and Ellie. James says don’t anyone rush to raise your hands when not one person does, and it gets seriously quiet. James says he loves Raquel and he’s never been happier. He talks about his relationship with Kristen being toxic, and Jax says it got him on the show. <snort!>

Stassi says that James is like GG, and he imitates Stassi crawling back to the show, literally getting down on the floor. It is pretty funny, and even Stassi laughs. Andy asks if James has been drinking today, and he says not yet.

Lisa thinks that Lala puts on a gansta image, but that’s not who she is. She says that Lala was also a great hostess, and the customers loved her. Ariana talks about how she tried to get Lala and the other girls to kiss and make up, and we flash back to that. Scheana says her apology was sincere, but Kristen doesn’t think so. Andy asks Katie about rage texting Scheana after talking to Stassi. Stassi says prior to that, everything she and Scheana had talked about was the opposite, and when the heat is on, Scheana cowers. Here comes the talking all at once. Stassi calls Scheana a flip-flopper. Katie says they tried to be honest with their feelings, and there’s more talking and loudness and finger-pointing.

Tom says that Katie exaggerated what the other girls said. Ariana says they tried to talk to Stassi about what happened and it blew up. Stassi says she was drunk AF, and we flash back to when she ran into the bathroom crying. It’s true that this group loves to bring up serious and/or important topics when they’ve all been drinking their faces off. Ariana gives her impression of Stassi. Scheana says they make her nervous, and Tom says he feels the same way; you never know what’s going to cause an eruption. James thinks Stassi is the boss and the head bitch. Tom says that Katie was emotionally vulnerable, and instead of being the voice of reason, Stassi and Kristen encouraged her behavior. Stassi maintains that the problem isn’t anyone having a differing opinion, but she doesn’t like how Scheana went back and forth.

Andy calls Brittany “Switzerland.” She says she and Scheana are super close, and she knows Scheana sometimes felt bullied. Lala seconds that, and says she’s seen it firsthand. She wants to know why it’s hard for them to back down for friendship’s sake. Katie says she mismanaged her emotions this summer, and wasn’t ready to accept Lala’s apology. Lala interrupts, but Andy says let her finish, and Katie apologizes. She says she was stubborn against Lala. She wasn’t in a good place with herself or her body image. She says what she did wasn’t okay. She can’t justify it, and apologizes.

Lala tears up and says she’s waited a long time for someone to say they’re sorry for hurting her feelings. She says her mouth is vicious, and she has to work on it daily. Tom thinks she and Katie are more alike than they know. Lala says she doesn’t hate Katie in any way of the word. Andy says headway has been made.

Thank you, Katie, for saying that you had an ugly moment, not that it wasn’t you. I don’t know if you realize how mature that is.

Next time, Reunion Part Two, Stassi’s little brother gives Jax a lecture, James gets on his high horse, Katie’s drinking is addressed, and Lala is questioned about the married man.

🐮 I’m really enjoying Sweet Home Oklahoma. The cast seems genuine, and genuinely funny.

March 20, 2017 – Charlotte Needs a Nanny, the VanderWedding Begins & a Couple of Other Things

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna gets a paper cut, which is a big deal if you’re on blood thinners. Andre drops by. He tells her about doing Charlotte’s evaluation.

Valentin, Nina, and Charlotte are having a celebratory meal at the MetroCourt. Valentin tells Charlotte that no one is ever going to take her away from him and Nina. Lulu and Laura walk in.

Tracy tells Hayden that she has good news for once. They got their first payment, and the hospital is on its way to financial solvency. She asks where Finn is, and Hayden says that he’s taken a leave of absence to deal with his addiction.

Finn is on hold with a rehab. He’s looking for an immediate opening. He tells Roxie it’s a wonder anyone gets clean. I can totally agree with this and identify. Several years ago, my alcoholic neighbor, who’d been drinking since he was in fourth grade, finally decided to get sober. I took on the job of calling rehabs, and it took at least a week to find him a spot in one. At the time, I said pretty much the same thing that Finn just did.

Sonny tells Carly that she’s always welcome at his house. She’s kind of testy, and says she’s there to figure out what’s going on between them and what they do next. She says losing Morgan and thinking Sonny killed him was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Finding out Sonny was innocent eased the anger, but the pain of Morgan’s death is still there. She says Nelle is like an ordinary pain – it hurts, but it’s not going to kill you – but losing Morgan was like a bottomless pit, a pain threatening to swallow her. She gets that Nelle used it to get Sonny into bed. Sonny asks if she sees it clearly, why can’t she get past it?

Anna tells Andre about talking to Olivia-J. He asks why put herself through that, and she says maybe she’s looking for closure. She and Duke only got pregnant once, and losing the baby changed the direction of their lives. She says seeing Olivia’s insanity only opened up old wounds, things she thought healed years ago. Andre asks if she got what she was looking for, but Anna says not really. She tells him that Duke never loved Olivia, but she tried to force it, and it doesn’t work that way. Andre agrees, probably thinking about Jordan. Anna asks about the evaluation. Andre explains that Lulu was granted six months of supervised visits and Valentin got full custody.

Nina suggests that she bring Charlotte to the office. She has a basket of treats she hasn’t tested yet. Charlotte gets all excited because she loves Nina’s office.

Lulu points out to Laura that Charlotte is there. Laura tries to focus on the menu. She says they all have to find a way to be in the same room. If Lulu shows anger, it’s going to go against her. On their way out, Valentin and family stop by the table. Laura asks Charlotte how she enjoyed her lunch, and Charlotte can barely respond. Valentin wants to talk to Lulu, but she tells him to leave her the hell alone. Honestly, either she is the stupidest human on the planet, or has absolutely no control whatsoever. Or maybe it’s PMS.

Finn thinks compared to the bureaucracy of getting into rehab, getting clean should be a piece of cake. He tells the rehab that he’s calling on behalf of one of his patients.

Hayden explains to Tracy about Finn going through withdrawal. She realizes she’s never known him when he’s been clean. Every decision that he’s made, including being with her, was when he was under the influence. Tracy asks why she’s not with him, and Hayden tells her that he wanted to do it alone.

Finn explains his own situation, but calls himself “his patient.” He hopes they can find an opening.

Valentin says they can arrange for Lulu to see Charlotte before the court appointed document is filed, so Charlotte can get used to being with her. Lulu balks at the weekly hour that Valentin offers. He says she scared Charlotte the two times they interacted, and he wants to ease her into it. Lulu acts like an idiot, so Laura steps in.

Tracy tells Hayden that of course he wants to do it by himself, but that doesn’t mean she should let him. Wherever he is, she needs to be with him.

Finn packs pretty much like I do, just tossing stuff into a suitcase. He tells Roxie that it’s only temporary, and Josslyn will take good care of her while he’s away. He says he wants to be someone better, and realizes how much time he’s spending chasing the drug. He finds a vial in the suitcase.

Nelle comes to the MetroCourt with a garment bag. Bobbie gets snotty with her, and Nelle says she gets it; she’s not welcome. Bobbie wants to know how she lives with herself, and calls her a bitch.

Sonny tells Carly that he should have caught on. Carly says he was skeptical at the beginning, and he says if something is too good to be true, it is. Don’t we all know it. She says someone with her life experience should have seen Nelle coming a mile away. She asks if Sonny ever really trusted Nelle, or was just going along with it for her? He says he saw how happy Carly was with her, and when Morgan died, the first couple of days he needed help, and she was there. She helped with Avery, and he let his guard down. She showed up on Thanksgiving, and he was alone, drinking. The weird thing is, that he remembers nothing – not kissing Nelle or even wanting to. He just woke up the next morning and she was in his bed. Carly asks how long after that did he decide to keep it a secret? Um…immediately?

Nina gives Charlotte a giant cookie and says they’ll bring the rest back to the house. She gives Charlotte some coloring/puzzle books. Valentin says that Mrs. Evans can help her later, because Nina has to work. After Nina settles Charlotte in, Valentin asks if she’s coming home tonight. She thinks they should be honest with Charlotte. She makes sure he’s not interested in Anna anymore, and says she’ll see him at home. I’d thought they’d settled that.

Anna tells Andre that if Valentin had just told Lulu she had a child, he could have avoided all this. I dunno about that. She realizes she’s a hypocrite, because she did the same thing, hiding Robin from Robert. Andre says maybe it was a complex situation, and Anna says maybe Valentin’s is too. She thought she knew him, but he wasn’t evil in the past and seems to love his daughter, yet at the same time he keeps hinting at knowing something. He knows why she put him on the kill list, but won’t tell her. Andre tells her she needs to focus on her health, but Anna tells him not to tell her how to live.

Mrs. Evans calls Nina. Nina says she’s sorry to hear it, they’ll miss her, and thanks for everything she’s done. She tells Charlotte that Mrs. Evans has to take care of her sick sister, but doesn’t know when she’s coming back. In the meantime, they’ll have to find another nanny.

Nelle says if Bobbie wants someone to blame, look in the mirror. Michael made her see she didn’t need revenge to be happy, and it would have stopped if Bobbie hadn’t interfered. Bobbie says Michael dodged a bullet, and would never be happy with her lying ass. She tells Nelle to get out before she throws her in the gutter where she belongs.

Carly tells Sonny that the worst betrayal is lying and covering it up. He says he didn’t want her hurt more than she was already. She says she could buy that, if Nelle was as innocent as she seemed. Sonny says he had to figure it out. Carly says she bought his explanation because she trusted him. He kept quiet and played into Nelle’s hands.

Anna apologizes. Andre asks if he can say something as a friend, who also happens to have a degree in psychology. She asks if she can stop him, and he says she’s not used to being afraid. Her condition is treatable, but makes her vulnerable. On top of it, she re-encounters someone from the past. It’s natural to want to tie up the loose ends. Anna says life isn’t that simple; it’s messy and full of contradictions. She says she glosses over her own mistakes – no, crimes – and she pushes them away, but when she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of how she was, and she doesn’t like herself very much. Andre says to be kind to her past self – she’s not the first to take a wrong turn, and give herself credit for choosing a better path. Allow her body and spirit to heal, and she can go back to kicking ass and taking names.  He asks if they’re still friends, and she says of course. They hug good-by. Andre has one last piece of advice for now – steer clear of Valentin.

Laura tells Lulu that the next six months require a staggering amount of self-control. Lulu says when she saw Charlotte, she wanted to run across the room. Laura says she has to play the long game and have patience. Lulu asks what the long game is and how she gets her daughter back. My deduction is going toward she’s the stupidest human on the planet.

Nelle comes in while Nina is on the phone. Nelle asks Charlotte if she can help, and explains the puzzle to her. Nina watches Nelle working with Charlotte and smiles. Nina tells Nelle that Charlotte’s nanny just resigned. (How convenient!) Nelle says that she’s bringing back the dress that Nina gave her for work. Nina tells her to keep it, but she says that she’s no longer working for Carly.

Carly brings up Michael, and how much he cared about Nelle. She asks how could Sonny let her take advantage of their son? He should have said something as soon as he saw she had an agenda. Sonny says that he didn’t want to lose her again.

Tracy says if Hayden loves Finn, she’ll be there whether he wants her there or not. Hayden says she has to trust him enough to let him try. Tracy tells her that hopefully, he’ll be back on staff by the time the next check comes, and telling them how to spend it.

Finn doesn’t remember stashing the vial. The phone rings. A bed is available. They ask for the patient’s name and Finn hesitates.

Nina tells Nelle that she’s surprised, since Carly said she was the best assistant ever. Nelle says it was time they parted ways. Nina gets another call, and Nelle introduces herself to Charlotte.

Lulu asks if it doesn’t drive Laura crazy to watch Valentin trample her. Laura says she’s not in the same position as Lulu. If Valentin commits another crime, she’s in a position to take action.

Valentin rings Anna’s doorbell. He asks if he can come in, and she says what if she says no. he says he could break in like she did, but it would just perpetuate the dance between them, and he wants to end it.

Finn says his patient decided on alternative therapy, but thanks anyway. He apologizes to Roxie, and starts to prepare a shot, but he drops the vial and it breaks.

Sonny says he didn’t want to drive Carly away when she needed him most. He says if it wasn’t for him, she would have pulled the trigger on Olivia-J. She would have done the same for him. He says that’s what they do for each other. She’s told lies too, but she’s still the one he trusts the most. She knows him deep down in his soul, like he knows her. They kiss. He has a silver wedding ring. I never noticed that

Hayden tells herself that she trusts Finn. Tracy doesn’t. Tracy goes to Finn’s room and sees the door open. She goes inside and sees the broken vial on the floor. She wonders what Finn has done.

Laura says if the court believed Valentin was up to no good, it would tip things in Lulu’s favor. She’s suitably placed to get her hands dirty. If things fall out the way she thinks they might, Valentin will get what’s coming to him. Sounds like she’s setting him up. I hope it backfires.

Valentin says no more break-ins, hints, or public disagreements; he wants peace. His wife and daughter are the most important things to him. If she persists, he’ll remove her – for good.

Nina apologizes to Nelle, but Nelle says she’s happy to help. She wonders if she can apply for the nanny position.

Carly tells Sonny that she has to go. She says he was right. They screw up the day to day things. They’re great at the big stuff, and would give their lives for each other, but when it comes to creating a life, they always end up at the same spot. She thinks they should just let it go. Sonny tells her that it’s not going to change, and she says she loves him, and if she hasn’t stopped now, she’s never going to. She leaves.

Tomorrow, Obrecht wonders where Finn is, Anna wants to know the truth, and Nina asks Nelle why she’s not working for Carly anymore.

Vanderpump Rules

Taco Tuesday; Wedding Wednesday. Schwartz and Katie go over things with the wedding planner. They want everything to be casual and fun. Katie claims she feels very calm. She’s marrying her Bubba. Oh, they also had edibles this morning. Schwartz’s mother arrives, and he gives her a Fireball shot. He suggests a wine chaser.

Jax is freaking out because Schwartz’s brothers missed their flight. He spends his interview time trying to figure out which tense of “worse” to use, and ends up saying it just sucks. They had one job, to show up on time. Brittany says her one job is getting everyone to party.

Scheana thinks Shay’s behavior is “off,” and wonders what’s up with him. Everyone goes to the lake with gigantic floaties. Kristen says as many problems as they have with each other, they all love Schwartz and Katie. A bug flies by and Stassi flips out. She doesn’t like bugs or dirt. Tom, who also missed his flight, manages to get there. He apologizes, and says he realized that he forgot his suit when he got to the airport. He’s rented a truck for the fifty cases of Coors Light he picked up. Eww!

Ariana asks what’s going on with Schwartz’s brothers, and Tom tells her that they missed the original flight, and then missed the connecting flight. Ariana thinks it’s possible that they still might get there in time for the rehearsal dinner.

Lisa checks out the ceremony space. A train comes by just a few yards away, and she hopes that doesn’t happen during the service. I would guess the venue knows the train schedule and plans accordingly. She has no direction yet, and needs to talk to Katie and Schwartz. The two of them join Ken and Lisa. Katie goes over the ceremony plans with Lisa while Ken grills Schwartz on how the first night is going to be. Katie gets all teary when Lisa reads what she has so far. We flash back on some of the events leading up to the wedding. Katie says the words Lisa is reading are exactly why they wanted her to officiate.

The others come by to check out the space. In her interview, Brittany tells us about her future wedding plans at a castle in Kentucky. Kristen takes pictures. The planner instructs everyone for the rehearsal. Tom talks about when he, Jax, and Schwartz lived together, and remembers when Schwartz first brought Katie home. Lunch is served. Giggy! Everyone drinks, and Jax says he has a huge crush on Schwartz’s mother. He wants to marry her just so Schwartz has to call him dad.

We flash back on Stassi’s relationship with Katie. Schwartz gives his mom an expensive ring as something to remember the moment by. Stassi’s mother pressures her about the guy she’s seeing. Stassi gives her mother TMI to get her off her back.

The triplets have arrived! Bert, Billy and Brandon. Tom had to dress them, since they basically have no clothing. Tom tells Schwartz that he and Jax want to give him an early wedding gift. The brothers come out one at a time, and Schwartz starts to cry. He says his brain isn’t even processing the moment. Somehow, Katie was able to keep the secret. Tom is thrilled about how happy Schwartz is. Lisa marvels at the identicalness of the triplets. In her interview, she says that it’s buried deep, but she knew there was some good in Jax. Well, Brittany likes him. Jax says his mission was to get Schwartz to cry – mission accomplished.

Shay is fast asleep. More dogs! Lisa tells Stassi how much hope she had for her, and felt she walked away from it. Stassi apologizes for letting Lisa down, and Lisa says maybe she needed to grow up and figure it out for herself. Lisa thinks it takes a big person to admit they’re wrong, and Stassi is glad for the compliment.

Katie goes down Memory Lane with her father. Both of her parents are there, even though they split up years ago. She says they haven’t been together as a family for a while. In her interview, she talks about doing things differently than her parents. Scheana tells Lisa about how she had a Little Mermaid party as a kid and didn’t want to mess up the piñata. They talk about Shay, and Scheana says he’s in a good place and they’ve gotten their couple mojo back. In her interview, Lisa seems a little skeptical, because she never sees Shay.

Piñata time! I’m waiting for the condoms and Ninja Turtle action figures to fall out. The girls work on the piñata, while the guys drink inside. The guys join in on the piñata festivities, It finally breaks, but I can’t tell what was inside, and Schwartz feels that everyone getting along is a good omen of the future. Lisa talks to Katie about the vows. Katie still needs to finish hers. Schwartz joins them. They talk about age, and Lisa is glad for her life experience. Katie says she’s been married thirty years and they should listen to any advice she has. Omg though, Ken is the best! Schwartz says he has no doubts about marrying Katie, and then ruins it by saying she fulfills him. That’s like, you complete me. No, just no. Everyone says good-night.

It’s the morning of the wedding. Ah, to be young and not hungover so much after a night of drinking. The groomsmen go fishing. Schwartz says he’s not ready with his vows yet. Ariana tells him to write it out and not wing it.

Lisa is ironing and Ken watches. She tells him that she hasn’t used an iron since 1986. He wants a picture, and harasses her with his phone. She tells him to bugger off. The bridesmaids get their makeup done. Katie says she’s heard that the wedding day flies by (truth!), and she’s tried to make sure all the bases are covered so she can enjoy herself. Kristen has taken on the job of attending to any last-minute details.

Jax wonders why he has to dress 30-year-old men, and tends to Schwartz’s brothers. Katie’s mother gives her a ring box with a corny sentiment on it. Tom practices tying his bow tie on his leg. He’s brought all kinds of back-up clothing and offers it around, including socks for Schwartz. Jax says two weeks ago, it wasn’t looking good, but now it’s finally happening. Ariana says if they’re still together after all the arguing in Vegas, they should be together for life.

Two hours and counting. Rose petals are scattered. Lisa thinks everything looks lovely, but she’s nervous because it’s somebody else’s day and she doesn’t want to screw it up. Giggy! Lisa instructs the helpers on how to decorate the podium.

Schwartz writes his vows. He says he’s a master procrastinator, but he’s got this. We’ll see. Ohh! Katie has one of those bouquets made out of vintage brooches. I love those! She says everything is perfect…almost. The boning in her dress is painful. She thinks maybe tacos and margaritas the night before wasn’t the best idea.

Ariana has been a bridesmaid a few times, and is enjoying wearing a suit. Tom says love is in the air. Jax says this is it, one vagina for life, but all joking aside, he’s excited for Schwartz.

And now, the dress reveal. No big shock, it’s beautiful. Lace with nude material underneath, and a mermaidish hem. Katie is wearing a sparkly headband that the veil will be attached to.

Fifteen minutes to go time. Giggy! Harrison! Another tiny Pomeranian! Schwartz talks to his dad on the phone, and tells him how much he loves him. Last minute adjustments are done on Katie’s dress, and the veil is attached. Tom thinks Ariana looks great in her suit and he’s right. Lisa takes her place at the podium. Katie’s veil is about a million miles long. The attendants walk down the aisle. The last two carry Schwartz and Katie’s dogs. Dogs! Schwartz wishes he could freeze frame the moment. It’s perfect.

Next time, the season finale, Schwartz and Katie are pronounced husband and wife, the reception happens, Lisa acquires a new bar, and Scheana wants a divorce.

🐮 Okay, going to give Sweet Home Oklahoma a try. It revolves around three women who are close friends. Years ago, I visited a friend in a small town outside of Tulsa and had the best time! I had to laugh about the restaurants – I swear everything was beef with a side of beef. I also got my first taste of Sonic, since we didn’t have them here at that point. One very interesting place I visited was a segregated cemetery. (And yes, that’s the one time I forgot my camera.) I suggested my friend buck the system and get a plot in the non-white section, but she told me that if she did, she might be using it earlier than she wanted to.

Afternote: I wasn’t totally paying attention, but the show might have promise. There’s a French bulldog in it.

👻 Once in a while, I mention a film, and I have to mention Lights Out. As soon as I saw the trailer, I wanted to see this movie. Although not much actually scares me – maybe the morgage payment – I enjoy those creepfests where things pop out at you. This one delivered, although I wasn’t crazy about the end, suddenly presenting me with lofty ideals and self-sacrifice. It was the same way I felt about Mama. Loved it up until the last few minutes. If you want to mix nobility with horror, it had better be damn good. Thirteen Ghosts (2001) worked for me in that department. I have to admit, I’ll probably watch it again, since a large percentage of it gave good scare.