What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Cocktail hour before the auction at the gallery commences. Trina tells Ava, anyone who is anyone in Port Charles is there. Ava says, not everyone. Not yet. She thinks it’s going to be a lucrative evening. It will be interesting to see what happens when Helena’s portrait is put up for auction. 

Cameron finds Elizabeth asleep on one of the couches in the hospital waiting area. She says she didn’t mean to fall asleep, but she wanted to be there the second Franco wakes up.

Andre tends to Franco, while Peter watches through the window. Andre sees Peter, and beckons him to come in. Peter says he’s sorry he’s hovering. How’s Franco? Andre says, his vitals are strong. He’s just waiting for Franco to regain consciousness; then they’ll know more. He thanks Peter again for saving his life. Peter says he’s just glad Andre and Franco are okay. Andre says, it’s the second time someone tried to prevent the procedure from being performed. Someone has gone through a lot of effort to interfere with his work

In the hallway, Anna is on the phone with Finn. She wants to let him know things have calmed down at the hospital. Finn says her friend Andre has more lives than a cat. He asks if she wants to join him and Violet for dinner at Kelly’s. She says, she’d like to, but she can’t. He asks, why not? and she says there’s something more pressing she needs to take care of.

At Kelly’s, Chase asks if Willow is okay. She says she is, but he tells her, It’s okay if she’s not. Most people wouldn’t be; she’s had a rough couple of days. He asks what she’s thinking about. Lucas? Nelle? Her mother? She says, all of the above.

Charlotte and Rocco run into Kelly’s, arguing about Charlotte doing a triple-axel. Charlotte says Rocco is just jealous because he can’t do it, and he says he’ll race her to the table. Dustin asks if Lulu wants to race, but she says she got her cardio in with ice skating. He says she’s pretty good, and she says he’s a saint, spending his day off with her and the kids. He says, the kids are good, and she says, what about her? He says she’s not so bad. He wouldn’t turn down some alone time. She kisses him, and tells the kids they’re just getting ice cream. She has to get Charlotte home, and Rocco is having a sleepover. Charlotte asks if Lulu is having a sleepover with Dustin.

Laura and Curtis arrive at the gallery. She tells Jax, sorry they’re late, but he says they didn’t miss anything. She sees Helena’s portrait on display, and says, there it is in front of them. Jax says Ava is nothing if not shrewd. She’s giving all of them a chance to buy it, fair and square. Laura asks if he thinks Ava knows the codicil is in the painting, but he tells her that couldn’t say. Jax’s phone dings, and he steps out to the hallway. Curtis is glad Jax and his deep pockets are on their on side, and Laura says, it can’t hurt. She looks around, and Curtis says he knows she’s not worried. There’s no way in hell anyone else is leaving with the portrait. Laura says she wouldn’t be so sure. Nina and Valentin walk in.

Jax meets Nikolas in the alleyway behind the gallery. He’d hoped Nikolas was joking, and had the good sense not to be there. Nikolas asks where else he would be? and Jax says, hiding at his house. He and Nikolas’s mother have it covered. Nikolas says not until they have the portrait, and Jax says, then stop interrupting him so he can make it happen.

Willow tells Chase that she’s trying to focus on what she can control. There’s nothing she can do about Lucas or Nelle. He says, that leaves her mother. Willow says she wants to rebuild their relationship. She misses her mother, but it got complicated with Shiloh. Her mother regrets what she did, and Willow can forgive her, but doesn’t change what Shiloh did, and what Willow had to give up. Chase says, being Wiley’s mother. Willow sees Finn coming in with Violet, and says they’ll talk later. Finn asks if Violet remembers Willow and her Uncle Chase, and Violet says, of course (🍷) she does. Chase asks if her dad has been boring her, and Finn says Chase is a bad influence. Chase says it’s an uncle’s prerogative, and he’s the luckiest uncle in the world. Violet asks, why? and he says he has the coolest niece. Violet might know her; her name is Violet. Violet says, that’s her, and Chase takes her into his lap. Willow says she has to get going. She wants to see Brad and Lucas before visiting hours are over. She tells Chase to stay; she’ll see him at home. When she’s gone, Finn asks if it was something he said.

Willow leans on the wall outside. Maxie comes along with James, and asks if she’s okay.

Elizabeth tells Cameron, Franco knew the risks of the procedure not working, but he said he’d come back. She’s choosing to believe him.

Andre and Peter come out, and Andre thanks Peter again. Peter says he only did what anyone would have done. Anna says, not everyone would put themselves in the line of fire, but he did. Andre says he and Franco owe Peter big time. He tells them that he should give Elizabeth an update, and goes to the waiting area. Anna asks how Peter is feeling, and Peter says, fine; why? She says it’s normal to feel uneasy after shooting a man in the OR, and Peter admits it was a first. Anna says, hopefully, the gunman will pull through, and they’ll be able to question him about who sent him.

Elizabeth asks Andre if there’s any news. He says, Franco’s vitals are excellent. He’s just waiting for Franco to wake up, to see how the procedure affected him; then see where they go from there. Elizabeth asks if Andre is confident that he’ll wake up, and Andre says everyone who has gone through the procedure has regained consciousness, so he has no reason to believe Franco will be any different. He tells Elizabeth and Cameron that Franco did understand the risks beforehand, and signed a DNR order.

Ava tells Curtis and Laura, J. Garrin is considered divisive, and Curtis says, not the appreciation for his work. Didn’t one of his abstracts sell for $100K at Christie’s? Nina asks if anyone wants a drink, and Ava says she’ll show Nina to the bar. Laura asks Curtis to give her a moment alone with Valentin. Valentin asks if he should prepare for one of her signature tongue lashings, and she says, always. But this time she doesn’t want to talk about him. She wants to talk about Charlotte.

Lulu asks why Charlotte would think she was having a sleepover with Dustin, and Rocco says grown-ups have them too. She asks how they know this, and Charlotte says, Nina slept over when she and papa were boyfriend and girlfriend. Are Lulu and Dustin boyfriend and girlfriend? Lulu says, um… and Dustin give the kids money to get ice cream, saying he’ll save their seats. Dustin tells Lulu that he doesn’t think Charlotte fell for it, but Lulu says, Charlotte will be back to trying to convince Rocco that she pulled off a triple axel in no time. She’s sorry they embarrassed him, but he says, they didn’t. She says she keeps forgetting he works with teenagers. He says, it’s natural for them to be curious. He and Lulu have been seeing each other a while. Lulu says it sounds like they’re getting serious, and Dustin says, aren’t they?

Valentin says if Laura has a legitimate concern about Charlotte, he’ll listen. But if she’s just going to parrot Lulu… She says Valentin can’t make a decision about Charlotte’s safety without sharing it with Lulu. He should have told Lulu about Charlotte’s bodyguard. He says, what bodyguard?

Jax tells Nikolas that he has no reason to be there; he’s a liability. Nikolas disagrees, and Jax asks what can he do, besides lurk? Nikolas says he’s streaming the security footage on his tablet. There’s room filled with prospective buyers, including his wealthy and murderous uncle, who want the portrait. He wonders what Valentin and Laura are talking about. They don’t seem to be enjoying the conversation. Jax says, someone has to deal with Valentin, and he’d rather it be him than Nikolas’s mother.

Dustin asks if he brought up serious too soon. Lulu says, no, but he says the panic in her eyes suggests otherwise. She says she likes that things are getting more serious, but they skipped some of the bases on their way to home plate. He asks if she means having sex on the first date, and being walked in on. She says she’ll send him her therapy bill. He says it’s been three months, and she asks if he’s counting. He says, a little, but it’s okay if they take it slow. She asks if he’s sure. What if Charlotte is on to something? Does he want to sleep over? She kisses him. At the counter, Charlotte tells Rocco that she’ll do a triple axel next time. She needs more practice, so she’s going to be on the ice every day. He says she’s going to crack her head, but she says her bodyguard will make sure nothing happens to her. Rocco laughs, and says, what?

Valentin tells Laura that he didn’t hire a bodyguard. She says, not even after Charlotte was abducted? He says he has private security, but no one is watching Charlotte, and if they were, he’d tell Lulu, so she would realize Charlotte is being watched, not stalked. Laura believes him, and says, Charlotte is convinced she has a secret bodyguard. Is it possible that she has an imaginary friend? He says, absolutely not. That doesn’t sound like Charlotte at all.

Nikolas tells Jax that he’s taking the portrait home, and he’s prepared to do it by any means necessary. Jax asks, how? Does he plan to sneak in and grab it? Nikolas says, of course (🍷) not, and Jax says, then what? Oh, wait. He’s going to wait for the winner’s driver to load the painting, and then whack them in the head and steal the car? Better yet, is he going to threaten the driver’s family if they don’t leave town, and tell them they’ll never see their daughter again? That’s his M.O. Nikolas hopes it doesn’t come to that. It’s on Jax to win the portrait, but he has a contingency plan if Jax fails. Jax says, that’s not happening, and Nikolas says, prove it. Jax goes back inside, and Nikolas goes back to his tablet.

Nina asks Ava if it’s all set, and Ava says, trust her. None of these fools will know what hit them. Nina says, cheers to that, and Curtis says, cheers to what?

Finn tells Chase, Willow took off after he showed up. He didn’t shower. Is Chase sure it wasn’t him? He’s been told by some that he can be an acquired taste. Chase says they told Finn the truth, but Willow leaving had nothing to do with him. She has a lot going on. Finn says, by looks of it, he’s not the only one who heard Nelle was admitted to GH. Chase says, thankfully, Willow doesn’t  even know what Nelle looks like. Finn asks if Chase is going to tell him what’s going on or keep him guessing. Chase looks at Violet, who’s coloring, and Finn says, she’s in her own world. Chase says, for a minute, Willow thought she was pregnant. She’s not, but she didn’t tell him until after the fact. It’s like Pandora’s box. Once you start thinking about parenthood, it’s nearly impossible to stop.

Willow tells Maxie, she’s just overwhelmed. Willow asks James how he is, and Maxie says, he had too much fun at the park. Willow asks how Maxie is, and Maxie says, it’s been a bittersweet couple of days. Lucas hasn’t woken up. Willow says she’s headed there now, and Maxie says she’s been keeping her mind elsewhere, so she doesn’t not lose her mind. Willow asks if she’s had any luck, and Maxie says she started with the Kon Mari program. She needs to get rid of the clutter in her apartment. It’s been chaotic since Peter moved in. She’s been boxing up Georgie and James’s old clothes, so someone else can use them. James has grown a lot since last year.

Peter tells Anna that he doesn’t want the man’s blood on his hands. Anna says, don’t. Even when forced to kill for the greater good, it says with you. It was fortunate he didn’t want to send a reporter, and he says it was out of consideration for the family. She says Elizabeth should know the lengths he went to in order to spare them. Did he always do his own reporting? He asks what’s up with the third degree? Does she think he’s lying? She says, of course (🍷) not.

Andre tells Elizabeth and Cameron, if Franco ends up without brain function, he didn’t want to be on life support. He didn’t want to live that way. Cameron tells him, Drew decided that, but Elizabeth says, he won the right to determine his own medical care. Cameron asks how long they have to wait before the DNR kicks in, but Andre suggests they not get ahead of themselves. He has every reason to believe Franco will regain consciousness. They have to be patient. He’ll give them some privacy. Cameron flashes back to Franco giving him his phone.

Laura asks if Trina is a fan of art, and Trina says she is, but she’s interning at the gallery. She’s studying fine art, and not so fine art. Laura says if she’s referring to Helena’s portrait; she couldn’t agree more. If it was up to her, every image of that horrible woman would be wiped off the face of the planet. Trina asks if she knew Helena, and Laura says Helena was her son’s grandmother. Trina asks if Laura is bidding for him, and Laura says, in a way. Her son died a few years ago, but his legacy and family are important to her. In a strange twisted way, the portrait embodies that legacy. Trina hopes Laura wins, for her son. Laura says, her too. It would mean a lot to his son, and the rest of the family. Trina says she’s rooting for Laura, and Laura thanks her.

Valentin says, let him guess, Jax is bidding on the piece that’s a collision of technology and nature. Jax tells him, save the pretense, but Valentin says, that’s no fun. Jax says he’s glad Valentin came. He’s going to enjoy watching him fail. Valentin says, may the best man win, and Jax says, he always does.

Curtis approaches Nina, but she says, now is not a good time. Ava says they’re almost ready, and Curtis steers Nina into the hallway. She asks, what is it? and he says she’s been dodging him. She says she’s been busy, and he tells her that he has important information about Valentin. It’s clear Valentin has been lying about Sasha, and he has proof.

Ava says, ladies and gentlemen. She can’t  tell them how thrilled she is at how quickly some pieces have moved, but she believes she knows why some of them are there. The auction centerpiece, a rescued J. Garrin original portrait of Helena Cassadine, matriarch of the Cassadine family. They’re ready to start the bidding. She introduces the auctioneer, Mr. Key, and says he’ll take it from there. Mr. Key says he’s starting the bidding at $10K. Valentin bids $50K.

At the pier, Lulu says the launch isn’t there yet, and Rocco asks if he and Charlotte can watch the boats. She says, of course (🍷), but stay away from the edge. Dustin suggests he grab some things from home, and meet her later. She kisses him, while Charlotte and Rocco skip rocks. Charlotte pulls Rocco back, and says if he falls, she’s not going to save him. He says maybe her imaginary secret bodyguard will. She says she’s not making it up. Her bodyguard is real, and she’ll prove it to him.

Nina asks Curtis, what proof? and he says he followed up on the DNA test that was supposed to indicate Sasha was her daughter. As it turns out, the sample is from a mother and daughter, just not them. She asks what that means, and he says, all he’s saying is, he didn’t watch Sasha use the swab. He gave it to her, and returned for the sample. Valentin could have given Sasha another swab, and she had help from someone who knew their way around the lab. Nina says, Obrecht, and Curtis says, call him crazy, but she doesn’t seem surprised about Valentin lying to her. She says she’s not, and goes back into the auction.

Valentin bids $100K, and Jax bids $150K. Mr. Key says, going once… Going twice, and Valentin says, $300K. Nina tells Jax, whatever he thinks he’s doing, stop it now.

Anna says she doesn’t think Peter is lying. She just asking because there’s going be an extensive follow-up. The police are going to want to know everything that happened in detail, and she doesn’t think he’s prepared to tell them what they want to know. Andre goes by, and Peter says maybe Andre has an update, and they follow him. Elizabeth asks, what’s going on? Is Franco waking up? Andre says, there’s been no change yet, but he’s gotten an update on the man who tried to kill him.

Elizabeth asks if the gunman is out of surgery, and Andre says, yes; he didn’t make it. Peter asks if he’s dead, and Andre says, yeah, and with him any chance to find out who hired him to kill himself and Franco. A sound from one of Franco’s machines is heard, and Andre does an about-face. Anna asks if he’s okay, and Cameron and Elizabeth follow Andre. Andre says, there’s been a spike in Franco’s heart rate. Cameron asks if that’s bad, and Franco’s eyelids flutter.

Finn asks Chase, what’s the matter? Didn’t anyone ever talk to him about using protection? Chase says he and Willow were responsible. Besides, it was a false alarm. Finn says, good. Kids are amazing, but he’s barely ready to be a father, and he has a few years on Chase. Chase says, a few? and Finn says, hilarious. What would Chase have done if it hadn’t been the preferred outcome? Chase says he’s not ready to be a father just yet, but he’s committed to a future with Willow. He loves her, so he’d be all in; the stroller, the minivan, the whole thing, but he’s not going to lie. He’s not ready. Finn says Chase will be a good dad when the time comes. Everything will work out, so what’s the problem? Chase says he just thought it brought back feelings about Wiley for Willow.

Maxie tells Willow, it’s amzing how fast kids grow from week to week. In a couple of months, you forget what they used to look like. She apologizes for rambling. She realizes James isn’t much older than Wiley. Willow says, it’s fine. Maxie doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around her. Maxie says she does have some understanding about how Willow feels. She went through a messy custody situation with Georgie, that she created herself. She thought she could give Georgie up, but she couldn’t. Willow says she’s sorry. It was different with her. She gave Wiley up to protect him from Shiloh, and she can never regret that.

Mr. Key says, $300K. Going once… Going twice… Nina tells Jax that she said stop, and drags him out. She tells him that if he keeps bidding, he’ll regret it.

Nikolas watches on his tablet. Valentin bids $400K, and Mr. Key says, going once… Going twice… Laura says, $450K. Ava is thrilled. Me too. This is fun.

Mr. Key says, a bid for $450K from the mayor. Ava says, that was quite a bid. Is Laura sure? Laura says, Ava heard her, and Mr. Key says, $450. Going once… Going twice… A waitress slams into Valentin, distracting him, and Mr. Key says, sold! Curtis and Laura fist bump, and Valentin looks furious. Suddenly, the painting is ablaze. Nikolas says, dammit! No! Everyone watches in shock as the portrait burns. Nina smiles, and Ava looks satisfied.

Dustin and Lulu kiss. Charlotte asks Rocco if he wants proof, and jumps into the water.

Willow tells Maxie that she doesn’t regret it. She protected Wiley from Shiloh. She’s so grateful he has two parents who love him. Maxie says, that doesn’t make it hurt any less, and Willow says, not really. She says, she’d better run before visiting hours are over.

Chase tells Finn that he knows Wiley is in Willow’s heart. He overestimated how well Willow was coping with giving him up and still seeing him. Finn says, it’s got to be hard. Anna still grapples with her decision to give up Peter.

Anna asks if Peter is okay, and he says, yeah. It’s a lot to process. She’s sure he can take comfort in having saved Franco and Andre’s lives.

Andre says, a rising heartrate means Franco is closer to consciousness. He tells Elizabeth and Cameron, talk to him. Help him find his way. Elizabeth touches Franco’s face, and says they’re here for him. They love him so much, and he said he’d come back to them. They’re here waiting. Cameron has no idea what to say, and Elizabeth says they just love him so much. Franco’s eyes start to open.

Tomorrow, Trina asks who Nikolas is and what he’s doing there, Valentin says the portrait is gone along with its many secrets, and Dustin tells Lulu to call 911.

Below Deck

Ashton tells the deckhands that the captain was in the crew mess, and Kate had the audacity to throw their clothing all over the place. He doesn’t care what Brian said; it doesn’t effing matter. Who TF does Kate think she is? Kate goes to her bunk, crying. Brian is upset that Courtney took Kate’s side, and she says she tried to talk to him about it, but he shut the car door in her face, dismissing her. In Brian’s interview, he says Kate is the issue, and is starting sh*t to get a reaction. It’s disappointing and frustrating that Courtney is taking her side. Kate tells Rhylee, the entire crew hates her. In Kate’s interview, she says she’s not feeling so great. Everywhere she turns, she’s being attacked. We flash back to incidents with Simone, Kevin, and Brian. She doesn’t know what she did to these people. She doesn’t feel it should be her job to point out that they need to respect her stripes, but she wishes somebody would.

Tanner texts, U up? to Simone. She texts that she can’t sleep, and Tanner tells Brian that they’re pulling the old switcheroo. Simone goes to Tanner’s bunk, and Brian apologizes to Courtney. In Simone’s interview, she says, she’s weak. Brian tells Courtney, he misses her, and gets in her bunk. In her interview, she says, he’s like a lost puppy.

Courtney helps Kevin, while the deckhands finish up getting the boat ready. Rhylee says, it’s hot already, and Ashton says that’s why he likes being on deck early. And he’s still drunk. The captain calls Kate to join him for a cup of coffee. Rhylee asks how Ashton feels about the elephant in her room, now that he’s sober. In her interview, Rhylee says, Kate is used to the captain jumping to her defense. She doesn’t want to betray Kate, but she does get favored, and runs the ship however she wants. Ashton says she’s taking advantage. Maybe the previous crews allowed her to get away with it, but he doesn’t think this crew is going to.

Captain Lee tells Kate he’s not going to tolerate someone blowing up. She says if she hadn’t been drinking 10 am, she probably wouldn’t have thrown the clothes on the floor. He says she’s got to be above that. In Kate’s interview, she says it’s never great to have a talk with Captain Lee about behavior he’s witnessed the night before. She’s so hungover, and there’s make up on her face from crying. The captain tells her that they have a good crew their responsible, and Ashton has to make sure it stays that way. In his interview, Captain Lee says he’s worked with Kate for five years, and she’s earned preferential treatment, but her behavior is inappropriate, and he’s disappointed. It can never happen again. She says she’s sorry she threw the uniforms on the ground. The captain hopes it’s the worst thing she ever does. She promises it won’t happen again.

Courtney tells Kate that everyone washed their clothes, and left hers in a pile. In Kate’s interview, she says, thank God Courtney is good at her job. It feels like Courtney is the only person who respects her at all. The captain calls Ashton, Kate, and Kevin in for the preference sheet meeting.

He says he wasn’t pleased about last night, and going forward, he expects them to act like adults. This shouldn’t be a difficult charter, and he suggests they not screw it up. He passes out the sheets, and Kate says, Master Pearson. It’s repeat guests, Torrie and Albert. Kate says the kids have grown up so much. Captain Lee says, one of the guests who’s coming back, is the one Chandler dropped on her ass. We flash back to that, and he says he wants to send her back with less bruises this time. In Ashton’s interview, he says, it was a sh*t show. We flash back to Chandler dropping the guest, the guests getting stranded with no supplies, and Pearson wailing when he stepped on broken glass. Ashton says as much as he and Kate are at each other throats, they need to put their personal differences aside. They can’t mess this up. The captain says they want to see a traditional Thai dance performance, and Torrie wants to surprise husband and children with Albert’s parents, who live there. He tells Kevin  that he’ll have two more guests for lunch that day. They also want a roaring 20s party. Kate asks if there won’t be any alcohol, since there was Prohibition, and the captain suggests bathtub gin.

Ashton calls Kate, and asks if she has a minute. Kate says she hates today so much. In his interview, he says, at this point, it’s obvious Kate has no respect for his position or the rest of the crew. They should be setting the example, and Kate thinks she’s better than everyone. It’s frustrating that she gets away with murder. She asks. what’s up? and he says, obviously there was a bit of a scene in the crew mess last night. She says Brian called her a bitch, and she got mad at Brian. Ashton says, it’s important for him to find out why something brings him to that level, and I’m surprised Kate shows so much restraint in not slapping him for acting like her elementary school teacher. Or A therapist. He says, when they’re told a time to be ready before an excursion, he feels like she and Rhylee don’t care. That’s where his frustration is coming from. In her interview, Kate wonders who Ashton thinks he is. Has he lost his mind? She thought he was going to apologize, not bitch about something else. Kate says, sorry he got frustrated.

Kevin tells the captain that the exhaust fan in the galley isn’t working, and the engineer has no clue what’s wrong. In his interview, Kevin says, this is going to be a problem. If there’s a smoke smell, nothing will go up. Captain Lee suggests getting another fan, and they’ll try and work with it that way. Kevin goes back to the galley, and the captain says, what else? Ashton tells Brian that Kate didn’t apologize. She said she’s sorry he feels that way. Kate gives Courtney an extra stripe. In Kate’s interview, she says it’s a reward for Courtney, and a punishment for Simone. Between Simone’s bratty behavior, and Courtney being good at her job, Courtney deserves the extra stripe. She tells Courtney that it comes with extra responsibility, and Courtney says, yeah. What she’s doing already. In Courtney’s interview, she says, it’s awkward, but not unwarranted.

Tanner tells Ashton that he got sh*t for dancing with the girl by the pool. He doesn’t want to be with someone who gets jealous this easy. In his interview, he says he likes Simone, but he loves being single. How many people say, thank God I got married? (No comment.) Courtney says it’s hot in the galley already, and Kevin says, it’s just going to get hotter. Simone calls her mom, and explains what happened last night, saying, apparently, Kate threw stuff on the floor. Then she gave the other stew a new position. Her grandmother says, no one is indispensable, and Simone says, she’s evil. In Simone’s interview, she says Kate’s got the wrong person if she wants to get a reaction. She’s not that basic bitch. The provisions come in.

Captain Lee calls a staff meeting, and Tanner says, it’s like being called to the principal’s office. The captain isn’t happy about something. He has two rules; don’t embarrass yourself or the boat. It seems all of them aren’t getting that message. He got an email from the beach club about the behavior of the crew. Cannon balls into the pool resulted in damaging the DJ equipment. We see a clip of Ashton jumping in, and water going all over the boards. In his interview, Ashton says, f***. The captain says they want to be compensated, and it’s justifiable, so the crew will iron it out and pay for it. In Kate’s interview, she says, hilarious. Ashton’s not so perfect. In Ashton’s interview, he says he’s ashamed of it. He’s not perfect. He apologizes to Captain Lee, who appreciates it. Ashton says he’ll cover the cost and apologize to the club. The captain says they’ve been working together for years, and Ashton knows what he expects. In the captain’s interview, he says, Ashton got a pass this time, but the pond Ashton is skating on has thin ice. He gives Ashton the printout of the damage, and says he hopes they get a good tip.

The captain says, fifteen minutes until the guests arrive. Ashton apologizes to Kate for his behavior at the beach club. She’s sure he built up frustration waiting for her and Rhylee, but he says they’re separate issues. In his interview, Ashton says he’s going around with his tail between his legs, and the queen bee bitch needs to have the last say, and drive a knife in his side. He tells Kevin that he doesn’t think it’s cool. Rhylee tells Kate not to make her late. Kate hopes she’s using deodorant and not hair spray on her armpits.

The guests arrive. In Kate’s interview, she says she likes returning guests. It takes away some of the stress of not knowing. But these guests had miserable experience last time, so there’s more pressure to make sure it’s perfect. The captain tells them that Kate will give the tour, and they’ll get out of there and have some fun. I guess he can’t get this party started because, little kids. Torrie says it’s a different vibe on the Valor, and they ship out. Albert thinks it’s more beautiful than Tahiti. After the guests settle in, Courtney asks Albert if he’d like another drink, and he says, the answer will almost always be yes.

Kevin wants to avoid making anything hot, and says, a caprese salad is refreshing on a hot day. Lunch is ready, and the toys are put in the water. Tanner points out all the jellyfish, and Ashton tells the guests that they have a pool they can put in the water. In his interview, he says the pool has a protective net to prevent sea creatures from coming in. He’s definitely been avoiding it, since he’s heard it’s a massive pita to put together, but this is the charter they need to redeem themselves with, so… A guest finds hair on her cheese. In Kate’s interview, she says, it’s disgusting. It’s one of the worst things anyone can experience, and not a good way to start the charter. She shows Kevin. In his interview, he says he can’t believe they’re starting this way. It’s a nightmare. Albert says, strike one, first meal.

In his interview, Kevin says, the first meal sets the tone, but it’s not his fault; it’s not his hair. I’ve noticed nothing is ever Kevin’s fault, but it is his fault. He should have noticed. He sends out a new hair-free plate. Ashton tries to figure out the pool, and he, Brian, and Rhylee set it up, and lower it into the water. Kate calls for a Thai dancer and some décor to go with the performance. In her interview, she says she loves local culture, whatever their location. The guests and crew like it, and while everyone is distracted, it gives her a break. The pool is brought back, and Ashton says, all that work for 40 minutes of play.

Kate says, even the limes are sweating. She’s going to get the fans. In Kate’s interview, she says, it’s just effing hot. If an oscillating fan is blowing on you, you’re somewhere depressing, like the DMV. Packing up the pool is taking forever, and Ashton says, this thing is a sh*t show. Brian tells Rhylee to calm down, although for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. She says she is calm, and tells him, don’t start with her. He says he’s not, and tells her not to get excited. She walks away, saying , he’s an effing moron. She’s not saying anything, and he’s telling her to calm down. She’s effing irritated. The dancer arrives. Kate asks if Rhylee wants some stripes, and Rhylee tells her to give them to the boys. She thinks they know all about stripes. She’s pissed off at Brian, and wonders how somebody so good looking could get under her skin. Ashton tells Brian that if he has an issue with Rhylee, and needs to speak to her, pull her aside. In Ashton’s interview, he says it’s like walking on eggshells dealing with Rhylee. He needs to be careful how he says or explains things. Fighting fire with fire is not going to work, and he doesn’t want to deal with more drama. Kate tells Rhylee, they’re a bit of a bitch, huh?

Lanterns are hung and decorations are put up. Ashton tells Kevin that they can smell smoke on the deck, and Kevin says he’ll just make salads from now on In Kevin’s interview, he says, lunch wasn’t perfect, and he wants to step it up for dinner. He’s making pineapple fried rice, and serving it in baby pineapples, along with meat on a lemongrass skewer. It’s fun for the kids, and looks cool. Kate tells them that they have a surprise before dessert. The dancer comes out, and does her thing. It’s pretty cool, and I love her costume, but she’s wearing… tube socks? In Kate’s interview, she says, the dancer is so festive. Kate respects her; she has commitment to her craft. Everyone takes pictures, and dessert is brought out. No one except Albert is into the dessert. Guest Scott bitches that he expected Michelin star quality food. Ground pork on a stick? He hopes they can do better tomorrow. Kate tells Kevin, and in his interview, Kevin says, obviously, Scott wasn’t looking for meat on a stick tonight, but he thinks there’s no pleasing these guys. Sorry.

Tanner tells Simone, the deck crew has lost seven pounds sweating. He asks if she’s cool with keeping their relationship casual, and she says as long as there’s respect. In Simone’s interview, she says she doesn’t get what’s in his mind. She likes being with him, she likes making out with him, and waking up next to him, but maybe she shouldn’t. Maybe she should be like, stop – she slaps her own wrist – leave the hot man alone. Tanner says as long as they’re on the same page.

The captain tells Ashton and Brian that the water taxi is bringing Albert’s parents out. In Ashton’s interview, he says it’s a surprise arrival of the kids’ grandparents. They already have two kids on board, which is a safety hazard, and now they’ll have two elderly people. Everything they do needs to be calculated. The water taxi heads for the yacht, and on deck, Torrie tells the kids she wonders why the boat is coming so close. The kids see who it is, and get all excited. In her interview, Kate asks if it gets cuter than this. Has this yacht turn into a Hallmark movie? She loves old people. They’re cute and have wisdom. Kevin asks how long the guests will be on the beach, and Kate says, as long as they want. He suggests they put the food on table. In his interview, he says family style is a fairy tale for him. Growing up, he had a small family. He likes how you can sit back and look at the food, and get into it.

On deck, Pearson feels rain, and Torrie says, the wind is getting strong. Driving the first boat to the beach, Ashton isn’t comfortable with the waves, and says he’s sorry he teased them with a beach excursion, but they can’t do it. He doesn’t want the boat to be smashing them. In his interview, he says they’ve dealt with injuries already. The narrow approach, and crashing waves are a bad combination. They can’t have injuries or the guests will pack their bags. Ashton radios Captain Lee, and says he’s not comfortable. The captain says if he can’t do it safely, don’t do it at all. In Kate’s interview, she says they had it on their preference sheet, and the guests were excited. Canceling is a big deal. They’re all screwed. Torrie says, they can’t go? but she’s told, it’s rough, and they can’t risk it.

In Kate’s interview, she says she and Kevin were going to have lunch set up for when the guests came back from the beach, but thanks to Ashton, there’s no beach, they have disappointed guests, and they wasted their time. The captain tells the deckhands to break out the toys; all of them. In Ashton’s interview, he says he avoided one problem, but created another problem. Now they have to rush to make sure the guests aren’t bored and mommy is happy. Captain Lee tells Ashton to put out the pool, and they’ll give the guests as much fun as they can. Kate tells the guests, they’re going to proceed with lunch; it’s one large feast. Tanner tells Ashton, it was the right call. Pearson wants the toys, and Torrie says, they’re setting them up. Kate says, we took circulated air for granted. It’s getting smoky. Tanner says the current is working against them, and asks Rhylee to tie off the line on the pool. She says he just asked her to untie it. Ashton complains about Rhylee’s fishing knots.

It’s really smoky in the galley, and the fire alarm goes off. Torrie says they can go to the island to eat. Rhylee and Tanner continue to bicker over the line. Kate holds up the fan, and tells Kevin that she’s his biggest fan. BA-DUM-CHH! In Kate’s interview, she says the guests are disappointed, and she’s frustrated. It’s hard to think when you’re just trying to survive. It’s chaos. The most wild experience of her life.

Next time, Captain Lee says they have to pull out all the stops, Ashton tells Rhylee not to come at him with that attitude again, Smashton’s out of his cage, and Kate walks.

⛵ A new member of the franchise, Below Deck Sailing Yacht, will premiere on Monday, February 3^rd. You can check out a nugget about it here. No sign of Abbi though.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck/bravocon/below-deck-sailing-yacht-sneak-peek-of-new-show-bravocon-2019

❗ FYI – The finale of The Real Housewives of Orange County is tomorrow (okay, today really), Tuesday, December 17^th,  but Part One of the Reunion will be the following day, Wednesday, December 18^th, at 10 pm. That makes the line-up, New Jersey, Dallas, and Orange County, starting at 8 pm. That’s just too many Wives in one night, so I’ll see what I can conjure up.

👧 Maybe It’s Me…

It sure looks like they both have the same hairline in the pictures.

https://pagesix.com/2019/12/13/rhoc-star-kelly-dodd-trashes-tamra-judge-over-receding-hairline-joke/

Just in case that wasn’t enough.

https://celebrityinsider.org/kelly-dodd-responds-to-tamra-judge-making-fun-of-her-hairline-350949/

🍑 Cynthia Sets It Straight…

Because we’ve all been waiting with bated breath.

https://pagesix.com/video/cynthia-bailey-on-where-she-stands-with-the-ladies-of-rhoa/

🍔 I Suppose It Could Be Worse…

Hopefully, the internet is being kind, but I’m guessing if she’d gained fifty pounds, the haters would be all over that.

https://pagesix.com/2019/12/14/meghan-king-edmonds-believes-shes-too-thin-im-a-stress-non-eater/

💫 Now For Something Completely Different…

While ’tis the season and all that, I recently read this article:

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/deep-roots-italian-song-sounds-like-english-american-medieval-comedy-nonsense

and it led me to this song. I love foreign language pop, but this is unique in that it’s nonsense. It’s also pretty catchy, and sounds like it could have been written a lot more recently than 1972.