Tag Archives: television

Jan18

January 17, 2016 — A Potomac of Etiquette & Nene’s Return

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Potomac

First up, Gizelle. She tells us Potomac is one of the most exclusive areas in the country and only pedigree or cash can get you in. Her father was big in the civil rights movement. She was married to Jamal Bryant who was a bigwig pastor and also a civil rights leader. Unfortunately, he was also a cheater, so she’s now divorced. She also has three young girls, and so far, everyone looks pretty normal.

Katie is next, meeting her boyfriend, Andrew, for lunch. He orders for her. Enough said. She has three kids under the age of three. Now really enough said. She wants to go to the Preakness, but Andrew wants her doing something to support his career. She mentions that she’d like to get married again. She can’t imagine why Andrew doesn’t want to marry such a great catch. I’m sure it won’t be long before I figure it out.

Robyn comes from a family of doctors and lawyers, but she’s in public relations because she’s not into a suit type job. Gizelle comes over. Robyn says Gizelle has a rocking sense of humor, but a lot of people in Potomac don’t get her. Robyn lives with her ex-husband, Juan, and they’re raising their kids together. While this isn’t unheard of, they also sleep in the same bed, so I’m not so sure how different this Is from being married, since she also says neither one of them is dating. Gizelle says they tried to get rid of Juan, but he only went to the mailbox and back.

Next is Karen. I can already tell from the previews that she’s a piece of work. She says her husband Raymond is the Black Bill Gates. She says money isn’t everything but she’s never met a happy poor man. Really? Has she ever left her yard?

Karen arrives at Gizelle’s house where she has a problem negotiating the steps in those sky high heels all the Wives wear. In her individual interview, Karen talks about her leadership position in the community. Her youngest daughter is getting ready to go to college and the ladies talk kids for a while. Gizelle says that anything you can do, Karen can do better. She says she also feels judged by Karen, but it comes with the territory.

Katie and Gizelle meet at a family restaurant that also has a burlesque show going on, which seems like an oxymoron or something. Robyn and Cherisse show up. Cherisse’s husband is some kind of coach and that’s how Robyn knows her. She’s also a good friend of Karen, in whose honor this luncheon is being thrown. There’s some disagreement about who should get the middle seat. As the honoree, etiquette dictates Karen should have it, but Gizelle isn’t budging, so Karen acts passive aggressive. Let me get this straight. You’re having a lunch at a burlesque house and you’re worried about the seating manners?

Cherisse’s husband travels a lot and she says it’s good with her. Sounds like a good way to keep the marriage going to me. They toast to Karen and the compliments flow along with the champagne. I gag because I’m sure these women don’t all love Karen. I certainly don’t.

Charisse is going to have a crab boil as another tribute to Karen, and needs Gizelle’s help with learning how to boil crab. Gizelle brings a stylist friend along, and apparently three or more people are needed for this operation. The second they open the bucket, all the crabs take off running. Can you blame them?

They’re not much better at this when they round up the crabs and get them inside. Why didn’t she just have this catered? When Charisse is getting dressed, Gizelle and friend look through her kitchen. Friend asks about the Coors Light in the fridge, as though rich people might not drink that. The two of them make so much noise, Charisse can hear them and starts to get annoyed.

Gizelle and friend goof around with the housekeeper. Charisse acts all indignant that these two are being playful. They start coming upstairs and she asks them to wait downstairs, threatening to kick them out. Her nose is so far up in the air, she must trip on sidewalk cracks a lot. Oh, wait. She probably travels by a sedan carried by servants.

Because Charisse is taking so long to get ready, Gizelle greets the guests. Karen arrives, annoyed that there’s no valet parking and she has to walk twelve feet. Gizelle talks about bringing her stylist and Karen is aghast that someone dares to hang out with the help. She also has some weird notion that Charisse shouldn’t have brought the help to help.

Karen brings up Charisse sitting in the center at her birthday. Oh brother. Karen says etiquette is everything and gives Charisse a framed set of etiquette rules. These are all rules that apply directly to this birthday lunch, which BTW, Karen was late to. This is possibly one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen on a Wives show and that’s saying a lot.

Some friend of Charisse’s goes running upstairs to tattle that Gizelle complained about her. Charisse is acting like Gizelle is being ghetto just because she’s acting like a normal person. Gizelle says she has a legacy and a pedigree and Karen comes from a farm. This is said during her interview segment, but I have the feeling she wouldn’t be afraid to say it to Karen’s face. Karen gets ridiculously wound up and offended, and walks away from Gizelle.

Next time, the girls take a vintage photo, try on bathing suits, and surf. It also looks like the drinking guns come out. This season, lots of shade and drama.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra and her boys are going to Washington DC to support the Million Man March. The boys are helping her pack, which basically means not helping. Phaedra is also meeting with some politicians for support with her organization, Save Our Sons. Porsha , Kim and Sheree are coming too. Does Porsha know what Washington DC is?

Todd and Kandi discuss opening a restaurant. Todd says Kandi has a fabulous book of recipes and they should share them with the world. Wouldn’t it be simpler to publish a cookbook? Todd wants to meet with the relatives about using the recipes.

Kenya continues to have work done on the money pit house. She’s behind her timeline, but now that she’s back from Detroit, she’s determined to get the project finished. Cynthia comes by the construction site and asks about the reunion. Kenya tells her about the better relationship with her father, but also about her mother’s snub. She also talks about her mother calling her Aunt Lori and then Lori leaving the reunion. Cynthia says she would have kicked the door down, but I think she’s being rude in saying that. You never know what you’d do in another person’s shoes. To her credit, Cynthia weeps a little with Kenya.

Kenya says she hasn’t spoken to her Aunt Lori and she hates the tension between them.

Phaedra gets a call from Apollo in prison, which sounds like the name of a band or B-movie. He talks to Aidan and Aidan tells him about their impending trip. Apollo tells him he needs to behave better in school, as he’d gotten a bad report. Phaedra says she tries to get Apollo on the phone with the kids as much as possible.

Congresswoman Wilson is a friend of Phaedra’s and has a program to help send young Black men to college. Phaedra is going to meet with her in DC as well. Phaedra has a team coming with her because it takes a village, but on the other hand, Kim likes to handle her own stuff, so she’s going to be juggling a couple of kids on the trip.

The ladies check out the House of Representatives and meet with the Congresswoman, who is wearing quite an outfit, including a sparkly red cowboy hat. She also has some kind of cool table runner with 3D giraffes on either side in her office. Phaedra asks to pick the Congresswoman’s brain. She’d better look out or she won’t have anything left when Phaedra is done. Porsha makes noises about wanting to learn about her heritage, but I’m guessing this is just a passing thought.

The Congresswoman starts talking about how America hates young Black men and I flash back to Michael Meyers’s face when Kenye West spouted off about President Bush and he looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him up. Kim excuses herself with her boys because she feels the topic is a little mature for her kids. Phaedra says she doesn’t want to “sugar coat” things with her sons, throwing shade at Kim. I toss it back, thinking, I suppose not, with dad in prison and all. Kim explains things to her kids in a more appropriate way in another room.

Aunt Lori comes over to Kenya’s, along with someone else (a cousin?). Lori says they want to talk to Kenya about something. They all sit down with a drink. Lori says she never wanted to be in the middle with Kenya in her mom. She says she loves Kenya, but she also loves her sister. Lori says Kenya’s mom was young when she had Kenya and had every right to give up her child. Kenya says she’s not judging her for that, but objects to her treatment of Kenya in later years.

Lori tells her “enough is enough.” Kenya says she saw her mother at family functions over the years where her mother talked to everyone else, but ignored her as though she didn’t exist. This sounds just incredibly bizarre. No wonder Kenya has issues. Kenya asks why Lori left the reunion. Lori says her sister had been alone when Kenya came by, was frightened by Kenya, and she should have called first. Kenya says it’s her mother. The cousin says something about it being a sensitive situation with the family. Lori says Kenya has no idea what went on behind the scenes and that it doesn’t matter what happened but it’s time to let it go and move on. Kenya says that when she left her mother’s house, it was like a dark cloud blew away. The cousin, who turns out to be Lori’s daughter, says Kenya can share her mother. It’s all good at the end of the meeting and everyone hugs.

Phaedra has put together a luncheon for the members of Congress who have helped her out. I barely know who my Congressman is, but she seems to know all these people personally. One of Kim’s kids starts screeching and she has to go. Sheree suggests that Kim should have brought a team. Kim says these activities are not for kids.

We flash back to Porsha thinking the Underground Railroad was an actual train. She’s come a long way. Maybe. Sheree goes out to the limo and suggests Kim come back in and not be disrespectful. Kim says she’s not; she’s trying to take care of her kids. Sheree is incredibly dense and seems to have forgotten what it’s like to have small children. Well, it was a long time ago. Bloop!

Kandi is having a family dinner to butter the relatives up about the recipe usage. Mama Joyce is loving on Todd who’s wondering who this woman is. Todd compliments all the women on their cooking and says he and Kandi were thinking about opening a restaurant. One of them is like, I’m not doing the cooking, but Kandi explains they would just be consultants. Aunt Bertha seems hesitant, but the others are liking the idea.

Phaedra and Porsha have room service. Phaedra says that Louis Farrakhan called her personally to be on stage during the march. The ladies get in some kind of limo bus and head for the march. Kim is leaving early for an event supporting lymphoma research, and both Phaedra and Sheree have a lot to say about that, just not to her face.

Phaedra introduces some mothers of murdered sons to the ladies. Porsha acts like she understands what’s going on.

Nene is coming to visit Cynthia. Interesting how the very person propelling her reintroduction is the same one she thought should be let go from the show on Watch What Happens Live. Cynthia tells Nene she can unblock her on social media now and everyone acts like nothing happened, although we get reminded with some flashbacks, including Cynthia burning their friendship contract.

Nene says she’s had the time she needed and now she wants to start a friendship again. Ugh! Does Cynthia understand what she’s getting into? It’s not like Nene has changed. When Cynthia says that she’s friends with Kenya, Nene makes a fish face. Cynthia brings Nene up to speed on the group.

Nene says the queen is back. But I don’t see RuPaul anywhere.

Next time, Phaedra makes plans to take the kids to visit Apollo and Kenya calls Kim a pretentious piece of tootie.

Jan14

January 13, 2016 — Adios, Sabrrrina, Carrrlos & the Hotal Cortez

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Nathan meets Maxie at the MetroCourt/Floating Rib/whatever it is.  He asks her what’s going on and she flashes back to seeing Johnny.

Johnny startles Lulu In the park, grabbing her from behind while wearing a ski mask. He’s such a laugh riot!

Dante is beating the crap out of a punching bag at the gym.

Carrrlos calls Sabrrrina back.

Jordan meets with Anna and Paul. Jordan says he needs to come up to speed and passes the ball to Anna.

Valerie is applying for a job at the MetroCourt and Olivia comes by to discourage that. Valerie asks what it will take to make things right and Olivia tells her a time machine and suggests she go back to PA. Now tell us how you really feel.

Michael tells Dante that he should aim higher if he’s thinking of Dillon. Dante says that he doesn’t like Dillon, but he’s the one who ruined his own marriage. Because he gives up easy, when Michael suggests counseling, he brushes it off. He also insists Lulu slept with someone else on New Year’s Eve, even though he has absolutely no real evidence of this. Please, Lulu, run off with Johnny while you can.

Lulu tells Johnny he shouldn’t be goofing around like that because someone could see. She says he shouldn’t take chances because both Dillon and Maxie know he’s around. She says Maxie can’t keep a secret for long and Johnny says he knows Maxie almost as well as he knows Lulu and she won’t tell. If he knows her that well, he should know she always ends up telling.

Nathan tells Maxie he’s been keeping up with her fashion stuff online, which shows once again what a great guy he is. Nina comes by and gives him a copy of the green Crimson issue. Nina says it’s their fashion revolution and I think of Little Edie Beale. Nina says she bought all the local copies and is giving them out for free.

Anna says she’s never been convinced that Carrrlos shot Sonny, so she investigated on her own. Jordan says as far as the PCPD is concerned it’s a closed case, along with Carrrlos’s death.

Not so dead Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina he missed her and she pretends to be talking to her dad while Felix is there. When Felix leaves, she tells Carrrlos she thinks Anna is on to him and not to come back to Port Charles. He tells her he never left, and doesn’t want to leave without her.

Maxie says they can’t get an accurate read on the sales if only one person buys the magazine. Nina says there are plenty of places where it’s still for sale and that when the bloggers and cool kids find out about it, it’s going to take off. Nina tells Maxie she needs to have faith in her ideas. Nina runs off and Maxie says she needs to tell Nathan something, but he has to jet.

Lulu tells Johnny the last time Maxie covered for him, she almost lost the best relationship she had. Lulu says she’s bound to tell Nathan. Johnny says his Valerie plan is almost done and pretty soon Valerie won’t be able to show her face anywhere in Port Charles.

Valerie asks if the answer to everything is her moving out of town. Yes. Olivia says this is Lulu and Dante’s home and they’ll find their way back to each other, and Valerie should get out and stay out. Valerie says Olivia is taking out her own failings with Dante out on her. She says too bad, so sad, she’s not going anywhere and she’d rather shovel snow than work for such a hypocrite. I still can’t figure out how Port Charles has snow when nowhere else in the area does IRL.

Dante says that when the newness of a relationship wears off, that’s when you have to work on it. He says he and Lulu didn’t mean to hurt each other, but they did and are paying the price now along with Rocco. God forbid he should take his own advice. What a jerk. Michael says he has to go.

Sabrrrina asks why Carrrlos is still in Port Charles. He says he couldn’t leave her and the baby, and he’s made arrangements for both of them to leave. She says she’s broken up with Michael, but she still can’t go. She asks why he didn’t go when he said he was going to and he says because he loves her now more than ever. He says if she won’t go with him, he’s turning himself in to Anna and she’s going to kill him like she tried before. Sabrrrina is like, what? because she didn’t know about that, but he doesn’t really explain. He says know that he loves her forever and to tell their child he’s sorry he couldn’t be a father.

Anna says she’s willing to drop the whole thing. Paul says it’s a minor discretion in the grand scheme of things. He says she’s a valuable asset and he’s sure they can work things out, but he has to go. When he’s gone, Jordan asks why Anna lied to him. Anna tells her the mole is Paul.

Lulu tells Johnny time isn’t on his side. Now I have an earworm of Time Is on My Side by The Rolling Stones. He tells her to relax because he’s wrapping it up tonight. He says Valerie will be there soon, so Lulu needs to scoot.

Valerie tells Dante she appreciated his offer of help, but she thinks it’s better for them to keep their distance. She leaves for a run and Nathan gives Dante the eye.

Carrrlos meets Paul at the docks. Paul says he thinks someone is on to them.

Jordan asks what motive Paul would have to help Carrrlos. Anna says she’s not sure, but they need to bring Carrrlos in for interrogation. Anna says they need to focus on Sabrrrina and she wants 24-hours for surveillance and phone tapping.

Michael goes to Sabrrrina’s apartment. Felix answers the door and says he’ll let him in if Michael hears him out. Felix says he thought Sabrrrina would never smile again after losing Gabriel, and Michael had brought joy back into her life. He says obviously Sabrrrina lied, but Michael should have cut her some slack. Michael says he wants to get back together with her, but Felix says it’s too late since she’s gone.

Paul says Carrrlos needs to stay dead to the rest of the world, that it’s the only way to keep him and those he loves safe. He says Carrrlos needs to get on the boat now. Carrrlos says it’s smooth sailing ahead for both of them and that he’s no danger to Paul and neither is anyone he cares about.

When Paul leaves, Sabrrrina shows up at the docks. Sabrrrina says no one knows where she is. Carrrlos says their boat leaves soon and wonders why she doesn’t have a bag. Sabrrrina asks why he was talking to Paul.

Michael leaves a message for Sabrrrina to call him and insists Felix tell him where she is. Felix says that’s not his job and if Sabrrrina doesn’t want to hear from him, he’ll have to live with that.

Jordan tells Anna no way are they tailing Sabrrrina.

Dante tells Nathan that what was between him and Valerie is over and they’re not even friends anymore. And adds that should make everyone happy because he’s such a whiner.

Nina shows Olivia the magazine. Olivia says that her cousin started the magazine and it’s practically a fashion institution. Nina says they need to save the magazine and that they can’t keep doing everything the same old way. Olivia starts to say something critical, but then says who is she to judge.

Johnny pretends to be talking on the phone with someone in the park when Valerie comes by.

Maxie is trying to give out copies of the magazines, but she’s distracted by the secret she’s keeping from Nathan. When Nina asks why she still has magazines left, Maxie kinda sorta tells her about it without telling her. Nina talks about how she has her own background of lies, but they eventually led her to Franco.

Nathan asks if Dante will be able to work with Valerie when she graduates. I don’t get why this is even an issue. Why would Jordan ever schedule them even near each other? Nathan says maybe Dante and Lulu can patch things up and that he should at least try. As if on cue, Lulu comes in.

Valerie asks Johnny what’s up. He says he’s not seeing eye to eye with a tow company. He says he’s got a dead car and they’re telling him it’s an hour wait and he needs to be somewhere. Valerie says she’ll drive him.

Jordan says as soon as she sends a request to the judge, it will tip Paul off. She suggests they work on their own.

Michael says he can’t let Sabrrrina go without telling her he wants to make a family with her. Felix says he doesn’t know where she is. Michael is about to hunt her down, but Felix has an envelope for him. He says Sabrrrina told him to give it to Michael if he came by.

Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina he made a deal with Paul about turning state’s evidence. Sabrrrina asks why he didn’t tell her. He says he was only buying time and that he’d be dead if he testified against Julian. He asks her to please disappear with him. He says Port Charles holds too much pain for the both of them and they should start a new life somewhere else as a family. If she doesn’t want to, I totally volunteer.

Olivia looks through the magazine and tells Nina it’s not bad. Nina gets a call from the circulation manager. She asks if Crimson is a success and from the look on her face, it is. Ha! I knew it.

Lulu tells Dante it’s not a good night for him to pick up Rocco because he has a bug. Dante acts like she must be lying and that she, Dillon and Rocco are cozying up together.  Dante acts like such a freaking idiot, Lulu can’t get out of there fast enough. While Nathan starts to talk to Dante, Maxie comes running in and drags him into the interrogation room. She says she has to tell him something. Nathan says that what he’s been working on has something to do with her. He says Johnny might try to contact her. Funny you should say that, replies Maxie.

Johnny says he doesn’t want to be a bother. Valerie says she owes him one for fixing her car.

Anna knocks on Sabrrrina’s door and there’s no answer. She and Jordan bust in with their guns drawn. The place is empty.

Michael takes the letter to the park to read it. The letter says that the time they spent together was the happiest of her life and he didn’t deserve her lying to him.

Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina the choice is hers and asks if she’s coming. She says yes, and goes with him. All right!

The letter continues about how grateful Sabrrrina is, and that Michael will find someone he deserves. She says she’ll always love him, but she’ll do it from a distance. She says that Port Charles is his home, but not hers, and says good-by.

Tomorrow, Maxie tells on Johnny, and Alexis and Julian make faces at something they’ve discovered.

American Horror Story: Hotel – Random Thoughts

This was a nice finale. It hasn’t been my favorite season – that was Freak Show – nor has it been my least favorite – that was Coven because I thought it was too busy – but Hotel was well crafted and the acting was fabulous. I thought the story was a little repetitive at times, and that if I wanted to watch True Blood, I’d watch True Blood, but it had glorious moments. I loved the serial killers’ dinner, used again in the finale.

Denis O’Hare was wonderful and Lady Gaga was a joy to watch. There was recently some Twitter brouhaha about her getting a Golden Globe and that she lacked acting talent. I didn’t understand that at all. Did we see the same show? I also recently saw her in Machete Kills and she was totally on point. It bothers me that the anonymity of the internet allows people to say appalling things about someone that they would never say to their face. And a total stranger no less. But I digress.

What makes this show great is that whether it’s the best season or the worst, it’s always reborn in the next. So while we bid adieu to the Hotel Cortez, we look forward to whatever wild ride the horror story takes us on next.

Jan13

January 12, 2016 — GH, BH, Havings & Nots

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Sonny has a bad dream and wakes up to Morgan, another bad dream.

Paul gets a cash delivery at the docks.

Ava is at the MetroCourt and since Kiki is the only waitress there, she has to wait on her.

Dr. Andre gives Jordan a carved jaguar which he says is a symbol of power.

Michael runs into Sabrrrina at Kelly’s. He asks how she is and tells her to let him know if she needs anything. She says it isn’t right for them to act like they’re strangers. Although no stranger has ever offered to provide anything I needed.

Michael says he’ll keep his distance since he doesn’t want to cause Sabrrrina stress. Because that’s the only other alternative. She says that’s not what she means, that she hates the wall between them. He says he wishes he felt differently, but he doesn’t. Ugh! Get rid of this guy already. Michael leaves and Sabrrrina sits down with Anna.

In his dream, Sonny was able to save people and he interprets this to mean that he can handle whatever comes his way. Morgan wants to help with the business. Sonny says if he wants to help to stay on his meds and see his shrink.

Paul says since the first shipment went smoothly, should he expect more? Dude says he’ll keep in touch.

Kiki sits with Ava. Kiki says she can’t sit and chat every time Ava comes in and ignore the other customers. Kiki says she’s grateful that Ava let her take Avery to Sonny’s on Christmas, but it doesn’t wipe the slate clean of all the bad stuff between them. Ava says she doesn’t see the point in rehashing everything. Kiki doesn’t respond well, but then says she’ll set up boundaries so they can have some sort of relationship.

Jordan says she’s suitably impressed. She and Andre make cute small talk and Andre asks her out on a date. She says yes, and he says he’ll call her later.

Morgan says he wants to make sure Sonny is protected, because Sonny was born yesterday and just started in the “coffee” business. Sonny asks how it’s going with the meds, and Morgan says it’s become more manageable, but he doesn’t really like the way they make him feel. Sonny says his doctor will help him find the right balance. Morgan asks how Sonny feels about taking his meds and Sonny says most of the time it’s okay.

Michael comes in and Morgan acts a little snotty and leaves. Sonny asks how Sabrrrina is, and Michael says she misses how they used to be. He says he misses what he imagined things were going to be, but it wasn’t based on anything real. Sonny asks if he’s sure about that.

Sabrrrina says she’s happy everything worked out for Patrick, Anna and Robin. Anna says she noticed the tension between Sabrrrina and Michael. Sabrrrina explains they broke up because Michael isn’t the baby’s father. Anna asks if the father is going to be in her life. She probably has a pretty good idea that it’s Carrrlos.

Ava asks what kind of boundaries Kiki wants. Kiki says if she wants to see her and Avery, she’ll text her, and it should be vice versa. She adds that if it’s a no on Ava’s part, she won’t take it personally, but Ava has to do the same. Ava asks if she wants to go shopping. Kiki gets a text from Morgan and says no. Ava asks what’s up and Kiki says another boundary is not discussing Morgan.

Paul, who’s been having a drink at the bar, sits at Ava’s table. He says she’s going to be happy when she sees what he brought and sets down the briefcase with the money.

Dr. Andre says if Morgan doesn’t take the pills on time, they can’t tell what works properly. He asks if Morgan has been drinking and Morgan says he had like half a beer on New Year’s Eve. Andre chastises him and Morgan says he has a good friend he can turn to. He adds that he doesn’t know where he fits in with his family.

Michael says he can’t get over Sabrrrina lying. Sonny says he knows how Sabrrrina feels because he loves Michael and lied to him as well.  He says Michael shouldn’t be angry with Sabrrrina, and Michael says it’s more like he’s angry with Carrrlos. Sonny tells him Carrrlos is dead and he should bury his anger with him.

Sabrrrina says the baby’s father doesn’t factor in to her situation. She says she loved Michael and wanted to raise the baby with him, so she lied. She says that Michael would have loved the baby regardless, but she couldn’t trust him enough to be honest, so things went sour. Anna prods a little and Sabrrrina admits Carrrlos is the father.

Anna asks if Carrrlos assaulted her. Sabrrrina says no, that he was her first love, and she knows another side to him. She says they spent the night together and she realized her mistake. Later, after she got together with Michael and realized she was pregnant, she hoped it was Michael’s and fooled herself until she had the sonogram. Anna says she understands knowing another side of Carrrlos, and it’s too bad he died before he knew he was a father. Sabrrrina nearly knocks over some tea.

Sonny asks Michael if he can’t understand why Sabrrrina lied when she knew how much he hated Carrrlos.

Andre tells Morgan that there are plenty of bi-polar people who are successful and creative. He says stability is everything, and Morgan has to remind himself to stay away from alcohol and take his meds. Morgan says he wanted to do more with his life than just stay stable. Just wait until you’re a little older, Morgan. You’ll be happy if you can just accomplish stability.

Ava says Paul just gave her a suitcase full of dirty money in a very public place when they’re supposed to be on the down low. Paul says they can pretend it’s an art transaction. Paul tells her about Tracy giving him the heave-ho and he’s living in the hotel now. Ava asks if she gets a key to his room.

Michael says that Sabrrrina doesn’t know him well if she thought he wouldn’t love the baby because of Carrrlos. Sonny says she made a mistake, but Michael has another chance to correct it now.

Anna says something about Duke and Sabrrrina says she’s sorry Carrrlos took Duke away. Anna says Carrrlos paid for it in a roundabout way, but now Sabrrrina has to bear the brunt of everything. She tells Sabrrrina If she ever needs anything, to let her know. She says the best advice she can give is to do what’s right for the baby.

Outside Kelly’s Anna calls Jordan and says she’s coming over because there might be a break in the Carrrlos case.

Michael says he wanted to do something special for his family. Andre says if he could do anything for Sonny, what would it be? Morgan says to run the business, but Sonny says he doesn’t want the kids involved even if he needs him. Andre asks how Morgan can be the person his family can count on? Morgan has to admit that staying stable would be the answer. Morgan says Sonny wants to walk more for his family than himself, and Andre says Morgan should look to Sonny as an example.

Paul says for now they have to keep things strictly business because Tracy is vindictive. He tells Ava there will be another shipment coming in. He leaves and Kiki asks what Paul wanted.

Michael says it’s different now and he doesn’t know if it can work. Sonny says he should think with his heart and not his head, and ask himself what’s going to make him happy.

Sabrrrina leaves Kelly’s and calls Carrrlos, leaving a message for him to call her right away.

Anna tells Jordan about what Sabrrrina told her. She says when she mentioned Carrrlos’s death, Sabrrrina practically freaked out. She thinks that Sabrrrina knows Carrrlos isn’t dead. Anna suggests they monitor her phone calls.

Ava tells Kiki that Paul is an art collector, but to keep it under wraps because that’s how art collectors are. Really? Morgan butts in, asking if Ava is bothering Kiki. Ava says no. Morgan says thanks for bringing Avery by on Christmas. Ava says maybe they can all act civilized for once and Morgan says anything can happen.

Morgan and Kiki talk on the side and he says he’s feeling better.

Some guy (Raj?) comes up to Ava and says that he saw Morgan on the pier on New Year’s and he seemed too interested in what’s going on.

Tomorrow, Carrrlos is still in Port Charles, Valerie acts like an ass to Olivia, and someone (Johnny?) sneaks up on Lulu.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace and Jeffrey have the police knocking at their door, while Quincy’s dead body is still lying there. Candace says she’ll handle things. Jeffrey wants to get the body off the floor first, but Candace answers the door. Luckily, she’s in a towel, which is pretty distracting for the officer, who asks her to put some clothes on.

She puts on her robe and asks what the problem is. The officer says they got a call from a neighbor. He says frankly she calls them a lot, but they have to come when she does. He says the car across the street (Quincy’s car) needs to be parked in front of her place due to homeowner association rules. He asks her to move the car asap, or the neighbor will be calling them all night.

Candace tells Jeffrey they need to find Quincy’s keys. He says he can’t do it. What a wimp this dude turned out to be. Candace says if she doesn’t move the car, the officer is going to come in. Jeffrey starts to cy and I want to slap him silly. Candace says she’ll get the keys, but then he has to move the car. He says he can handle that much. Candace rifles through Quincy’s pockets. She finds the keys and useless Jeffrey is freaking out. She tells him he has to be cool and The Jets Song from West Side Story plays in my head.

Jeffrey takes the keys and barely shuffles to the door. Come on, dude, grow a pair. Jeffrey heads to the car. The officer asks if Jeffrey is her boyfriend and she says he’s just a friend. A friend who is obviously having a problem. The officer asks Candace way too many questions and seems to know way too much about Candace. It turns out the nosey neighbor has clued him in and she’s also the officer’s mother.

Jeffrey seems to have a problem starting the car and barely gets it across the street, but then drives away. The officer asks if he’s okay and if he’s been drinking. Candace says he’s just tired. When the officer offers to help, she says he’s been having problems with his mother because he’s gay, and it’s better if he doesn’t. Candace distracts him with a bunch of nonsense and flirting. It doesn’t seem like he’s buying it though. And I have no clue where Jeffrey went with the car.

Nosey mom comes out and asks where the “other guy” is and tells the officer that Candace has had four guys visiting since she moved in. What a scandal! Since the officer is probably used to this, he just leaves.

Quincy’s sister, the woman who was trying to call him, is looking for him. She asks a group of guys hanging out on the street if they’ve seen him, but no one has. The group hears about the arrests regarding the car cover up. One of the guys talks about killing the lawyer, although I don’t know how this bunch of strangers suddenly got involved, and I don’t know if he means Jennifer the DA, Veronica, Candace or what.

Benny comes over to the hotel to see Hanna. He says she can’t stay there forever and asks her to come home. She says her home burned down and she doesn’t want to talk about it. She tells Benny to go home, but he says he has something to say. He says no one loves her like he does, and he didn’t tell her the truth because he wanted to protect her. Hanna says he can’t protect her with a lie. He says she didn’t tell him who his father was to protect him. That’s right. It’s always different when it’s you.

He tries to talk about Candace, but Hanna doesn’t want to hear it. He says he never wanted Hanna in harm’s way. Hanna says she’s not going back to the house until she knows where Candace got the money. Benny says he’ll find out, but Hanna says Candace will just tell him another lie, so she wants to be there. She asks him to leave and he says he’ll come back later to talk. She says she loves him, but she’s still mad at him.

Kathryn tells Veronica she’s never been locked up before. She says Jim was sure he could scare their son straight, but instead it backfired. She doesn’t know what happened to make him this angry. Veronica says prison is pretty rough. Kathryn asks if there’s rape by other inmates. When Veronica says yes, she says she thought the guards are supposed to prevent that, and wonders if that’s what happened to Wyatt. She talks about a time at camp when he came home angry and she knew something was wrong. She says she’s going to discuss it with Jim, who let their daughter die, and if she finds out anything happened to Wyatt, God help Jim.

Kathryn says her father was a ruthless man and she takes after him. She says that if she finds out anything happened, there will be no escaping her wrath, just like she handled the camp incident. Veronica suggests she just let it go, that Jim is going through enough rightnow. Kathryn wonders why she cares all of a sudden.

Back at the Cryer house, Wyatt is having one helluva party all by his lonesome. Guzzling alcohol, playing loud music and air guitar in his underwear. Jeffrey calls. Wyatt says he and the DA have been trying to reach him. When Jeffrey asks what he’s talking about, Wyatt reminds him about the immunity deal. Jeffrey wants to come over, but Wyatt says he’s expecting company. Wyatt asks if Jeffrey’s been drinking and he says he has, and he’s coming over. I don’t see any company, and if somebody’s coming, Wyatt is going to be passed out by the time they get there.

The DA visits Jim and David’s cell. Jim gripes about not being allowed a phone call. Jennifer asks to see David and David says he doesn’t want to cut a deal. Jennifer says he doesn’t even know what it is and he says, yes he does. David has to choice but to go with her.

David and Jennifer sit in the interrogation room. Jennifer says Jim is going down, and asks if David is willing to crash and burn with him. She says she misses him and I go, what? Jennifer offers him immunity for testifying against Jim. David wants immunity for Veronica too. Jennifer says she hates Veronica and was tempted to tell her. Tell her what?! David says too bad, and Jennifer says okay, Veronica can walk too. Jennifer says David is loyal to a fault. She talks about the night of the fire and how she knows Veronica tried to kill him. And she says that she still loves him. Holy Christmas! She’s suddenly all over him like an animal. (He’s in handcuffs BTW.) Man, this show never ceases to startle me. He’s like, woman, get a grip and she finally gets off of him. She tells him to take the deal. David says no and she says she has no choice then. She calls an officer to bring David back to his cell. Wow.

David goes back to the cell and Jim asks what the deal was. David tells him and he asks why David didn’t take the deal. David says that’s not what friends do. Jim says Veronica tried to destroy Kathryn, although I’m not sure what he means by that unless it’s because of what she had done to Wyatt in prison. David says he’s done a lot for Jim and Jim calms down a little, realizing that David is his friend. David asks if he’s going to try to get even. Jim says not this time because David stood by him. He asks David to promise him that he’ll punish Veronica in some way. He says it would be better coming from David because he loves Veronica and it will be fair and if he does it, there will be no love. He says sometimes you have to punish people you love and I think he’s confusing this word with discipline or maybe he’s just nuts. David says he won’t do it and Jim says he’ll extend the olive branch one more time.

The same officer who was at Candace’s pulls Jeffrey over and asks  for the license and registration. Jeffrey says he doesn’t have it and that it’s a friend’s car. The officer asks him to step out of the car and asks if he’s been drinking. Jeffrey says no, but the cop can smell it. He says he can also smell a burned out clutch. He makes Jeffrey do the finger to nose test and he fails miserably. Then, because it’s not bad enough, the officer notices blood on Jeffrey’s shirt. He puts Jeffrey in the back of the squad car.

But Candace’s evening is no better. She has Quincy’s body to deal with by herself. Not that Jeffrey was any help. Note to self: Do not commit a crime with Jeffrey as an accomplice.

When Candace turns her back, Quincy grabs her ankle.

A lot happens next week too. I need to recover from this week now.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Okay, it was the intro reel from last week’s episode, but it’s still a gratuitous Giggy shot and I love him.

It’s dinner hour at the Bella Magazine party. LisaV says she’s very flattered about being on the cover of a magazine at her age. LisaV and LisaR discuss a couple they knew for a long time who suddenly divorced. Prophetic of Yolanda and David. LisaV asks Eileen a bunch of questions about how she met her third (and hopefully final) husband, Vince. It sounds like an interview for Soap Opera Digest, and it’s making Eileen uncomfortable. I can understand both sides. In her individual interview, LisaR says that whether she knows it or not, LisaV is being insensitive. I have to side with her on that, but Eileen should just say something. Kyle toasts the magazine cover.

Bethenny calls Kyle; they’ve been friends for a long time. They make plans to meet.

The ladies have a wine tasting scheduled. Giggy! Ken looks hung over.

Giggy is coming to the wine tasting and I’m thrilled. Eileen says she still feels uncomfortable, which is too bad because they’re all in the same limo and it’s not that big. The vineyard is gorgeous and they go to an outside, covered table.

LisaR is curious to meet Erika after googling a video she made. LisaV says she’s being a prude. LisaR says she doesn’t want to meet Erika and think of her behind up in the air. Everyone watches the video on LisaR’s phone. Even though LisaR hit the nail on the head by saying it’s just a performance, it still makes her uncomfortable somehow. Geez. It could be a lot worse. A lot. Bees join the party, and some of the girls take off running.

Kyle is going to Bethenny’s early and the others are meeting her there. Erika arrives. She says she’s tired (she just flew in from performing in Chicago at Gay Pride – we get a glimpse), but she’s ready to rock and roll. Eileen says they watched her Painkillr video, and she explains it’s a character. She has to explain this to adults? And BTW, LisaR has posed for Playboy, even though she’s all weird about this. Kyle leaves for Bethenny’s. Erika says being with the Beverly Hills wives is a lot different than being amongst the gays. Is this something else you have to explain to adults?

Erika says she spoke to Yolanda, and tells the ladies about Yolanda’s surgery. She says this might be the key to Yolanda’s illness and I agree 100%.

David is playing nurse and pretends to care. LisaV calls. She’s on speaker and Yolanda tells her how things went.  David jokes that Ken’s breasts are bigger and I don’t laugh even a little bit. Lisa wishes her well and says she hopes that this is the answer. Yolanda says she’s not coughing for the first time in years, so her immune system has improved. How healthy can you be with silicone floating around in you?

Kyle gets to Bethenny’s place, which is of course fabulous. There’s even a separate beach house with a bar that she redesigned with reclaimed wood. It’s amazing how Bethenny took herself from nothing to a skabillionaire. She asks Kyle about Kim, and Kyle says people can pry too much and be judgmental. Kyle starts to tear up, saying that her mom wanted them to stick together, but it’s not always easy. Kyle says she doesn’t feel weird about Bethenny asking her questions because she’s known her and Kim for so long. They go over some old times.

Kyle tells her about Erika and her husband. Then shows her the video. Ha-ha! Bethenny’s reaction is priceless. Bethenny says that’s a lot of upkeep. Kyle says it’s Erica’s alter-ego.

The ladies pick up LisaV and Ken on their way to Bethenny’s. Giggy! Both Lisas have met Bethenny before. Bethenny has cocktails ready. Bethenny says she’s jealous of Erika’s alter-ego and Erika says not many people get to live two lives. Ken makes himself scarce and I don’t blame him.

Erika goes to the bathroom and Bethenny says she likes Erika, but makes rude jokes while she’s gone, which Eileen isn’t thrilled about. The ladies sit down to lunch and go over more old times. They’re amazed at time flying. Welcome to the club.

They talk about Erika’s video like she’s not there. Bethenny starts talking branding. Suddenly LisaR isn’t feeling well, like seriously nauseous, and says she’s calling it a day. It sounds like she might have food poisoning. They play the video for Bethenny. She says she doesn’t like the production value and goes on about every detail. Erika says everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but she doesn’t agree. LisaV says Bethenny has good advice but needs to sweeten her delivery. They discuss the whole alter-ego thing. In her individual interview, Kyle says Bethenny often gives unsolicited advice. I like Bethenny, but both ladies are sooo right. Erika says she doesn’t know anything about margaritas or being skinny, and doesn’t tell Bethenny how to do her Skinny Girl gig.

Erika gives Bethenny a dance lesson. Okay. Bethenny rips her pants and Erika says it’s not as easy as it looks and that’s what Bethenny gets. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

The next day LisaR and Eileen get together. Eileen talks about how LisaV grilled her and how uncomfortable it made her. Giggy! The other ladies and Ken are on their way to meet them. Eileen says LisaV isn’t stupid and she can’t figure out why she would do that. I do think she was just genuinely interested, and Eileen should have said something. But in lieu of that, I agree with LisaR saying Eileen needs to talk to her.

In her individual interview, Erika says LisaV is the self-appointed leader and enjoys making people feel uncomfortable. I think she’s just nosy and if you assert yourself, she’ll back off.  They get to the house and Erika talks about Bethenny’s comments. She wonders if Bethenny is being a bitch or being jealous.

Eileen asks LisaV for an aside talk. She says maybe she’s being over-sensitive, but when Lisa asked her about Vince, it made her uneasy. She brings up when Brandi called her a home wrecker. Lisa says she’s nothing like Brandi and Eileen should have said something. (What did I say?) Lisa says she apologizes if she asked too many questions, but Eileen should never answer what she doesn’t want to. Eileen says she’ll do that next time, but she feels like Lisa turned things around on her.

Next time, Bethenny apologizes to Erika, Eileen tells a sad story, and Yolanda comes home.

Jan8

January 8, 2016 — GH Wraps Up the New Year & 8 Who Are Hateful

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

While I don’t normally discuss movies here, I saw The Hateful Eight yesterday. If you love Quentin Tarantino films, you’ll love this one too. The casting is superb, the script and acting are great, and the cinematography is top-notch, although I didn’t see the special 70mm showing. Kurt Russell is bounty hunter John “The Hangman” Ruth, taking his prisoner, Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh) to Red Rock to hang. While en route, he meets Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson, whose turn it is to shine here) along with some other characters. They all end up being stranded at the remote Minnie’s Haberdashery during a blizzard, where much of the action takes place in one room. As with all of Tarantino’s efforts, this is a wonderful ensemble piece. This time, it’s also a bit of a mystery, figuring out which character is the bad guy – or is it all of them?

Since not much went on TV-wise this week, here’s some GH recaps and I’ll see you on Sunday.

General Hospital — Wednesday

Jason shows up at Sam’s apartment. She asks if he was looking for her, and he says he was looking for a place to live, but when he realized it was her place, he figured he’d say hello.

Jake is with Elizabeth at the hospital. She tells him not to talk to “that guy,” meaning Franco. Franco is on the phone with Nina, who is celebrating at Crimson. She says she can’t wait to see Julian’s face when he sees that they’ve saved the magazine. I can’t wait to see his face when he realizes he has no tax write off.

Alexis tells Julian that Sam should stay with them. Julian says one thing he’s learned from his own kids is to not give them help they haven’t asked for. Hear, hear.

Jordan makes plans to meet someone at Kelly’s. She’s there with Anna. Anna asks her if she has a date. Jordan says it’s a second date. Anna asks with whom, and she says she’s calling him “no expectations” for now. They talk about Robin, and Anna says she should have been savvier and realized Robin really needed her.

Patrick and Robin have taken Emma out of school early. She asks if she’s in trouble, and they tell her no, but they have some exciting news. They’re moving to California.

Franco asks Jake if he’d like to color. Jake says that his mom told him not to talk to Franco. A police officer approaches Elizabeth and wants to talk to her in private. Franco sits with Jake and tells him not to let any of the other patients see him using the good crayons.

Sam tells Jason that technically, it’s his apartment, and she wasn’t trying to sell it out from underneath him. He asks if there have been any good offers and Sam tells him about Paul (although she doesn’t know it was Paul who made the offer). Jason asks her to show him around.

Emma is worried about moving and Robin says it will be an adventure. Emma says she’ll miss her friends. Robin says she will too, but their friends will only be a plane ride away. That’s right, it’s just a hop, skip and a jump from New York to California. And so affordable.

Dr. Andre comes into Kelly’s and talks to Anna. He says he hasn’t seen her on his schedule. She says she might have something to report about Carrrlos soon, but since they keep running into each other, she’ll let him know when it happens. She starts to introduce him to Jordan, but she doesn’t have to, since he’s Jordan’s date.

The new magazines come in. Dillon opens the box and says, “Oh no!” Maxie looks in the box and makes a shocked face.

Olivia comes by Julian and Alexis’s place with a gift. It’s a portrait of Olivia, Leo & Julian. Not too awkward. Alexis is not looking too thrilled and understandably so. There’s some discussion of where to put it, but Julian gets a phone call and has to leave.

Dillon is on the phone saying it’s not an artistic choice, but a huge mistake. All the magazines have green dripping down every page. Dillon says the printer said that’s what they received and the file must have been corrupted. Nina wants them to reprint a million copies, but there’s no money for that. Nina says they’ll have to ask Julian to increase the budget.

Robin calls Anna and asks her to come over.

The cop tells Elizabeth they could have someone come by and check on them later, but she and “her husband” have nothing to worry about. I’m guessing they had nothing to worry about to begin with and not surprised that Elizabeth doesn’t correct the officer about her “husband.”

Sam trips and Jason catches her. This seems to be an ongoing thing. He gathers her into his arms and they look at each other longingly. It actually looks more awkward than that though. It’s like he almost lost his grip on her for a second and they had to regroup the shot.

Alexis says Julian won’t be back for a while and he needs to weigh in on where they put the portrait. Olivia says she gets the message, so she’ll take her picture and go. Alexis says no, she loves the picture and to leave it. When Alexis puts her hand on the frame, Olivia notices her engagement ring.

Julian gets to the office and says there’s nothing they can do about the magazine. They’ll have to just eat it. How much you want to bet that it will be a sensation as is?

Franco is having a good time with Jake, because Roger Howarth is great with kids. Elizabeth interrupts because she ruins every good time.

Sam says the falling and catching thing happened with them a lot. Jason says he might not remember the first time, but he’ll remember this one. Jason tells her about meeting Robin and that he recognized her almost immediately. Sam says maybe it’s from pictures, but Jake says he remembered her when he’d broken in to kill Sam. He says that’s what stopped him. Sam suggests Robin is his guardian angel. He says Robin made him rethink how he feels about his past, and that she told him she had faith in his future. Jason says after she left, he could see her on the bridge from long ago, saying the same thing to him.

He adds that he’s had a memory about Sam.

Anna arrives at Robin and Patrick’s place. Robin tells her about talking to Obrecht. She says the job is less appealing because of the salary cut. Anna says she can get a job elsewhere. Robin says she already has, but it’s in Berkley. She tells Anna they’re moving to California.

Jordan and Andre make maybe not small, but medium talk. They talk about their exes. Jordan says she’s a little rusty with the dating scene. They complement each other on their New Year’s Eve dance moves.

Robin says she practically grew up in the hospital and it’s hard for her to be objective there. Berkley will give her a fresh start and she’ll be going there as an adult. She says it’s a good way to start over and get away from the drama of the past few years. She says she and Emma will be able to do all the things she’s been dreaming about.

Sam asks if Jason wants to tell her about his memory of her. He tells her about the necklace she was wearing when they ran into each other in the park. He says he thinks he remembers putting it on her, but isn’t sure if it’s a real memory. Sam says it is. He says that makes two memories in a week. Sam says that’s good, but Jason says he doesn’t want to lose who he is now. Sam says he’s not that much different – honest, loyal and stubborn. She says he’s also a good cook, but no pressure. Sam says she wants him to be whole, whatever that means to him.

Franco tries talking to Elizabeth, but she’s not having any. He says he thought they’d had a breakthrough at the gala and he’d like them to be friends.

Alexis confirms her and Julian’s engagement. Olivia says she’s happy for them, but weirded out because Julian didn’t tell her. When has he had time?

Julian says one missed issue isn’t going to make or break him, and he’ll write it off. He tells them better luck next time. He leaves and Maxie says the end of Crimson means the end of her career in fashion. Dillon says Julian said there would be a next time. Maxie says the next time they see Julian, it will be when he fires them. Nina is like, hold on a minute, we’re going to be a success with green Crimson. What did I say? I ain’t been watching this 50 years for nothin’.

Maxie is aghast that Nina would want to put it on the newsstand. Nina says they will look innovative, calling attention to an overharvested and overpopulated world. Maxie is like, this will never work. She surprises me. I would have expected more creative thinking from her, and the green thing makes total sense.

Alexis says she and Julian just wanted a little privacy for a while. Olivia says since she’s the mother of Julian’s child, he should have told her. She says that Julian had said that she would always be a part of the family. So I guess that means he should sit around alone for the rest of his life?

Jason says that Sam should keep the apartment. She says it’s the one place she calls home. Jason asks if she’d like to go for coffee.

Elizabeth says that she and Franco aren’t friends now and they never will be. Franco quotes Star Wars because he’s such a nut. He says he’s sorry about kidnapping Jake, but that was another life and he’d never inflict harm on another person again. (Okay, at least now I’m up to speed. I missed all of that during a time period when I wasn’t watching.) She says they still have nothing in common. He says more than she thinks, and if she ever needs a friend, he’s there.

Anna says Robin is a grown woman and has to do what’s right for her family. Robin says Anna is her family too, and she knows Anna misses Duke. Anna says it’s part of life, and you eventually get to a point where you cherish the memories instead of just grieving. Robin says she doesn’t want to leave Anna alone. Anna says she’s not alone, she’ll be fine, and Robin needs to be the woman Anna knows she can be. Robin asks her to come with them.

Maxie says once they go through with the plan, it’s like pushing a nuclear button. Dillon and Nina are like, come on, roll with it, and she says she’s in.

Alexis says Olivia will always be part of the family, and she would never interfere with that. Julian comes in and says he likes the portrait above the fireplace. Olivia says congratulations and enjoy the engagement, and leaves. First of all, she really has no business being annoyed, and secondly, over the fireplace? Really? When you’re marrying someone else?

Franco looks at Jake’s drawings which are very dark, both in color and subject matter.

Jordan and Andre both say that lunch was fun, but not long enough. They agree to a third date and kiss. Dammit! I wanted him with Anna.

Robin tells Anna to think about it. Anna says there’s nothing she would love more than to live near them, but she has work in Port Charles to do now. Robin says there won’t always be work and Anna says of course, and she’ll think about relocating when it’s done, but in the meantime, she’ll visit.

Patrick says they have temporary housing set up and they’re leaving tomorrow. Anna says they can’t. She wants to throw them a going-away party, and there’s also the wedding. (Another light bulb for me. I guess they’d gotten a divorce at some point.) Patrick says they can do that in California, but Emma says no way, not as long as she’s Emma Scorpio Drake.

Tomorrow, it looks like we’re having a wedding.

General Hospital – Thursday

Robin, Emma and Anna are getting ready for the wedding. That was fast. Maxie comes in asking if her assistant wedding planner, meaning Emma, is ready to roll. Sonny is the next to arrive.

Laura sees Tracy at The MetroCourt. She wants to find Luke and asks Tracy if she has any information. Tracy says she has nothing. Laura says it’s nothing important, but she wants him to know Helena Cassadine has been vanquished.

Hayden tells Nicholas he was just served by Michael.

Elizabeth arrives and says she thought it was a going away party, and Emma tells her it’s a wedding too, and that it’s forever this time for her mommy and daddy. The doorbell rings and Elizabeth answers. It’s Jason.

Nicholas says Michael and Alexis are issuing a declaration of war, and that it includes a petition to freeze all of ELQ’s assets. Nicholas says everything hinges on Jason. He has 9% voting stock, which has been under Nicholas’s control. Hayden says that now that Nicholas is being released, the police are going to want a statement.

Tracy wonders if Luke would feel relief or regret. Laura says she knows talking about Luke isn’t Tracy’s favorite subject, but Tracy says she holds no ill will toward him. She says she has fondness for their time together. Laura says it sounds like Tracy has moved on. She says she noticed the chemistry between Tracy and Paul at the gala. Tracy says Paul is a smarmy opportunist who will never darken her door again. Alrighty then.

Elizabeth tells Jason she didn’t realize he would be there. Jason tells Sonny he didn’t realize it was a big event, and wants to leave, but Sonny says he should stay for Robin’s sake. Maxie comes running out to tell Robin she’s ruined everything. She forgot someone to marry them. Mac says he can do it. Maxie says he’s not a minister, but he says he went online in the morning and before his toast was done, he was ordained. That’s actually a little scary.

Robin tells Jason it’s important for him to be there, even though he keeps trying to get out of it. She says it’s the future he imagined for her on the bridge and she wants him to see it. Mac asks if Patrick and Robin are ready to get married.

Tracy says her recent involvement with Paul was a lapse in judgment. Laura says maybe she should follow Luke’s lead and take some time to be with herself and figure out why she keeps trusting people she shouldn’t. Laura says she understands how it is when someone you love disappoints you. Tracy says maybe she’ll take Laura up on her advice. Eat, pray, spend lots of money, I say.

Hayden says she’ll be glad to have Nicholas back home. She says it’s been lonely wandering around Windermere without him, and Spencer has a kick-ass welcome home party planned. Hayden’s phone rings and it’s Tracy. Tracy tells her to make an excuse and get over to the MetroCourt. Hayden tells Nicholas she has some ELQ business to deal with, but she’ll be back soon.

Emma is the flower girl and the only one wearing white. Song part as she, Anna and Robert, and Robin enter.  Zzzzzzz….  Carly comes in with a box. It’s probably not a bomb, but I can hope.

Laura visits Nicholas at the hospital. She says she can’t fathom how he’s involved with Hayden after he tried to have her killed. Laura says the lies and secrets he’s keeping are eating at his soul, and asks him to tell her this will be the end of it. Like I’d even believe him if he did.

Patrick says a bunch of mushy stuff about second and third chances and how much he loves Robin. Elizabeth makes stupid faces at Jason. Robin’s turn for mushy stuff.

Commercial break. I went out today, so I’m watching this online and it’s actually less painful because the breaks are only about 30 seconds.

Robin talks about how her memories started to slip away and now she’s here and how happy she is. Instead of regular vows, they decide to recite them to Emma. This is actually a very cool idea, since this poor kid has been through the ringer and needs some feeling of security. Lots of mushy kid stuff. This is a little sad too, since Kimberly McCullough just had a miscarriage.

Mac gets the rings from Felicia, who snuck in at some point. Patrick and Robin exchange rings in the standard way and Mac says by the power vested in him by the internet, he pronounces them man and wife. They kiss.

Carly says since they’ve had bad luck with wedding cakes at Kelly’s, she brought a going away cake.

Laura tells Nicholas he’s been given a second chance to live and not to blow it. She says he should move forward to being the man she knows he can be. He says he’s not giving up ELQ, and she says she’s not getting involved in that, but it’s time for a fresh start without Hayden.

Tracy meets with Hayden, who tells her that Nicholas got the lawsuit from Michael. Tracy wants to know what Hayden is doing and why it’s taking so long.

Robin thanks Carly for her help. Carly says she owes Robin big time and reminds her of a day when she gave Robin a hard time about leaving Patrick. She says Robin told her that if she knew what Robin was really doing, she would thank her. Carly says Robin saved Jason’s life and she’s grateful. Robin says Carly is good for both Jason and Sonny, and that she never gave Carly enough credit.

Jason congratulates Robin and she thanks him for staying. He tells her that he had a memory about her. He says he doesn’t know much about his past, but he knows she’s important to him. Robin says even if he doesn’t get his memories back, he’ll figure out who he is.  Lots of milling around and congratulations.

Patrick tells Sonny he wishes he could be there when Sonny walks again. Sonny says he’s glad he and Robin are back together and it means a lot to him.

Robin tells Elizabeth she’s made mistakes but it doesn’t mean her dreams can’t come true. She says she knows how much she loves Jason, but life has happiness in store for her no matter what.

Hayden tells Tracy that Nicholas isn’t the most trusting soul and she has to romance him to gain his trust.

Laura reminds Nicholas that Hayden was originally hired by Ric to pretend to be Jason’s wife. She says maybe Hayden has real feelings for him, but maybe it’s just an act, and she doesn’t want him to get his heart broken.

Everyone says their good-bys. Geez, Felicia only had half a line in this episode. She’s turned into an “under five.” Bye, Felicia. Literally.

Anna gives Emma a plane ticket so she can come visit. Elizabeth is dragging her feet leaving

Carly and Sonny tell Jason if he needs anything, to call them. Jason’s phone rings. It’s Nicholas, who asks him to come to the hospital to discuss something.

Elizabeth lies down on the couch and hears a noise outside.

Jason comes to the hospital. He tells Nicholas he figured the next time they saw each other, it would be in a courtroom. Nicholas says he thinks they can fix it so that won’t be necessary.

Tracy says she knows Hayden needs the job with her. She says she thinks she’s the only friend that Hayden has and she knows exactly who Hayden is.

Robin says her good-bys to Sonny and Carly. She tells Sonny he’s made tremendous progress and she knows he’ll continue to improve.

While the bags are being put into the car, Robin says good-by to Anna. She thanks Anna, and Anna says she loves Robin and would do anything for her, and she’s sure it will be the same with Robin and Emma.

Robert tells Robin he loves her and will always be there for her. Anna tells Patrick that she’s grateful he and Robin are back together. She wishes them luck in California. Robin and Patrick flashbacks. I forgot that I was ever they were so young.

Emma breaks into Robin’s reverie. It’s time to go. Patrick asks if they’re ready for a new adventure, and he, Emma and Robin link arms.

Tomorrow, Valerie is in trouble and Nicholas tries to strike a deal with Jason.

General Hospital – Friday

Johnny shows up at the Haunted Star. Lulu asks where he’s been.

Dante interrupts Maxie and Dillon while they’re working on the magazine. Dante says he needs to talk to Dillon immediately about what he and Lulu were up to on New Year’s Eve.

Elizabeth is startled by someone outside. Boo! It’s Laura bringing Jake home.

Tracy says that Hayden has been lying to everyone she knows.

Nicholas tells Jason that they can make an “official arrangement” and he’ll drop the charges.

Dante asks to talk to Dillon outside. Even though Maxie thinks it’s a bad idea, Dillon complies. Dante goes on and on about Dillon and Lulu sleeping together New Year’s Eve and that Dillon had better not hurt Lulu. Maxie comes out after Dante leaves and asks what on earth Dante is talking about.

Johnny gives Lulu flowers. I’d run off with him if I was her. Johnny says it was all he could do not to bust out of the closet and give Dante what for, and that Dante had no business acting like he did nothing wrong and assuming Lulu did.

Nicholas tells Jason about the suit Michael filed. Nicholas says that the case will be caught up in the courts forever, lots of money will be spent, and ELQ will suffer. He tells Jason if he doesn’t participate in the lawsuit, and leaves Nicholas in charge of ELQ, it will color what Nicholas says to the police. Don’t do it, Jason.

Hayden says Tracy has nothing on her. Tracy says she has nothing on Hayden Barnes, but she has something on the person Hayden was before. Tracy shows her something on her cell phone.

Laura says she’s there to drop Jake off. Elizabeth tells him to go upstairs to play and she’ll be up later. Elizabeth tells Laura that Jake has been affected by the change in her relationship with Jason. She says it’s only a matter of time until Jason is with Sam.  Jake listens on the stairs and Elizabeth tells him to beat it. Laura says she thinks Jake could benefit from talking to a psychiatrist. Elizabeth says not everything is in his head, that he saw someone outside on New Year’s Eve.

Hayden tries to take the phone and Tracy snatches it back. Tracy says Hayden has a real trail of scandal. She says it was obvious that Hayden was no garden variety con artist, and she happened up “certain information” to corroborate that. Hayden says Tracy needs her to get ELQ from Nicholas. Funny, Tracy says, since everything leads back to Nicholas.

Nicholas tells Jason that since Hayden was hysterical, it’s up to him what the police believe. Jason says he side-stepped Nicholas, who had started the fight, and that’s how he ended up falling. Nicholas asks who Jason thinks the police are going to believe? Jason doesn’t take the bait. Nicholas says he best reconsider before someone else he loves gets hurt.

Maxie says she was in a car crash once and the slow-motion feeling is the same way she’s felt since Dillon let fly with the DVD about Dante’s cheating. She says that Dante and Lulu aren’t used to screwing up, so they keep obsessing over it and doing stupid things. She says they’re running in circles and need to stand still and figure out what’s going on. She says she told Lulu this, but it would be understandable if things went too far with her and Dillon. Dillon says he wasn’t there on NYE. Maxie says Dante seemed certain, so who was Lulu with? While she takes a call, Dillon makes an exit.

Johnny tells Lulu that Valerie was caught “taking a payment” from a known felon, and he wants to establish a pattern. He’s going to run into her again and act like he’s really interested in her. Lulu says she’ll probably act flattered, but rebuff him. He says it doesn’t matter, by then he’ll have enough evidence. Lulu says the longer he stays there, the longer he risks getting caught. He says he’s all about risk, especially if it’s for a worthy cause. Lulu asks if it’s about helping her or does he have another agenda?

Dante sees Valerie at work. He says she seems upset and she says she’s in big trouble.

Tracy says their agreement was for Hayden to hand over ELQ to her, and she’s giving her 30 days to get the shares back. If not, she’ll give Nicholas proof of who Hayden really is. Hayden asks what satisfaction that will bring, and Tracy says Nicholas will look like an idiot and she’ll eventually end up with the stock anyway. Hayden balks. Tracy makes like she’s going to make a phone call to a Jay (?) Dover and Hayden says she’ll do it.

Jason says it’s good he has a good lawyer. Nicholas says he has a good eyewitness, and reminds Jason of The Floating Rib incident when Jason tossed him over a pool table. Nicholas goads Jason a little, saying Jason can either end up talking to his kids through Plexiglas, or he can take the offer.

Johnny flirts and Lulu says she thought he wasn’t going to do that anymore, adding that when he’s charming, he’s usually up to something. Dillon comes by and Johnny makes himself scarce. Dillon tells Lulu that Dante accused him of sleeping with her New Year’s Eve. He says he knows she wouldn’t pick up a stranger, so where is Johnny?

Laura suggests that maybe it was just a New Year’s Eve drunk looking through the window. She says Jake spent his formative years on Cassadine or Spoon Island or wherever the blip Helena had him, so he’s not exactly normal. She didn’t say it that way, I’m translating. Elizabeth says she should have listened to Laura, and that she continued to lie to Jason while Sam told him the truth. Laura says she’s sorry and hugs Elizabeth, who says she doesn’t deserve Laura’s concern. I agree. Laura says she promises that Elizabeth will come out the other side and things will be better. She tells Elizabeth to call her any time and leaves.

Nicholas asks if Jason wants to be a father to his sons or an embarrassment to his family. Jason asks Nicholas if he really wants to do this to everyone. Jason suddenly changes the subject, asking if he was close to his sister. He says he’s seen pictures of her, but he doesn’t remember everything. He says that Emily must have loved Nicholas, and how did he get from being someone so loved to the person he’s looking at now. Nicholas says this has nothing to do with it, but is clearly shaken. Jason says he’d rather look honestly through Plexiglas than give in to a lie. Nicholas says remember this day when you’re in prison, because that’s where you’re going. Jason gives him the finger (not really) and leaves.

Hayden says she’ll get it together in 30 days. Tracy says if Hayden tries to run away, she’ll hunt her down. Hayden says Tracy has no idea how hard it would be if the truth came out. Tracy says she does and that’s why she knows Hayden will succeed. Hayden leaves and has to catch her breath in the hallway. I’m really glad they’re giving Rebecca Buddig more of a big storyline. I love her in this role.

Maxie notices that Dillon is gone while in the middle of her call. She gathers her stuff up and jets out of Kelly’s, which is apparently her office now.

Dillon tells Lulu he should have called the cops. Lulu tells him Johnny left the morning after Dillon saw him. Dillon asks who Lulu was with New Year’s Eve. Lulu says a harmless drunk had grabbed her and she was fixing her hair and makeup in the stateroom. She says Dante, as usual, jumped to conclusions. Dillon tells her what Dante said, and that he feels the same if she should get hurt by Johnny. She keeps insisting nothing is going on, and he says he’s not so sure. He gets a call and leaves.

Johnny (who must be getting tired of hiding by now) comes out and says she did great.

Valerie says she blew the exam. Dante says that her score isn’t good, but it’s not enough to get her dropped. Valerie says she’ll never get her score high enough to make it a passing percentage. Dante says he’ll help her study and that doesn’t mean he’s coming on to her. She says it doesn’t matter, people will think so. She says it means a lot that he offered to help and she wishes they could be friends, but that’s not possible.

Nicholas tells the police that Jason threw him over the terrace railing. Hayden watches from the doorway looking pretty upset.  Afterward, Nicholas tells Hayden Jason was willing to go to prison rather than compromise. Hayden says it’s unfair to Jason’s family and he should put them before greed and vanity. Nicholas says it’s not greed, Jason just believes he’s right.  Hayden keeps going on about how can he do this to his family, and I’m thinking she’s hoping Nicholas gets a conscience and realizes he’s going to hurt his own family, but that doesn’t happen. She asks what happens now and Nicholas says he and the Quartermaines go to court and Jason goes to prison.

Jason walks into Elizabeth’s house and calls out to her. When she comes downstairs, he asks why she left the door open. She says she didn’t.

Valerie says if Nicholas helps her study, the next thing she knows, she’ll be cooking him dinner and things will escalate. Dante tells Valerie that every time he takes a step forward with Lulu they take two steps back. Valerie tells him he shouldn’t be telling her this and she can’t deal with the yo-yo stuff. I’m in agreement with her there. Whenever things go sour with Lulu, he’s back to Valerie. What a guy. They should both forget about him.

Lulu says Johnny is taking a huge risk staying there. Maxie comes in to prove the point.

Jason says maybe the door just didn’t latch properly. Jason sees a family picture with him in it, smashed on the ground. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Jake, the Bad Seed.

Dillon sees Tracy, who has decided to go on a trip. She says she’s going to indulge in spa treatments, eat good food, and reprioritize. She says by the time she gets back, she’ll have a whole new outlook.

Nicholas tells Hayden what to tell the police. Nicholas says he takes no pleasure in doing all this, and blah-blah-blah about how he has to do this for the greater good or some baloney. Hayden says there might be a way around it and asks Nicholas to marry her.

On Monday, Jason and Sam get closer, Jake disappears and Maxie threatens to turn Johnny in.

Dec29

December 28, 2015 — Is Christmas Over Yet in Port Charles?

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Sabrrrina asks Michael if he’s come to any decisions.

Paul tells Tracy they need to talk, and sees his packed bags. Tracy says that Alice packed his things, so she wouldn’t embarrass herself by throwing them out the window.

Mac joins the reunion with Robin at Patrick’s house. She asks if Felicia knows that he’s moonlighting as a P.I., and he says she does and it’s cool with her.

Nicholas comes to. Hayden tells him he’s in the hospital and asks if he remembers what happened. She says Jason tried to kill him, and Elizabeth pops in out of nowhere with, “Are you sure about that?”
Jason and Spinelli meet in the park. Spinelli is pretty happy to see him, and Jason seems to have a twinkle in his eye. I missed a lot of the shows with the old Jason during the Sam/Elizabeth/Spinelli period, but I wasn’t that crazy about Steve Burton. Nothing personal. I just didn’t see him as that character, but I know I’m going to enjoy Billy Miller playing him.

Michael tells Sabrrrina he thought she was different from lying Kiki. She says she’s sorry, and he says she should have told him the truth to begin with and he would have accepted things. She says she was only with Carrrlos the one time before she and Michael got together, and when she found out she was pregnant, she wanted to believe Michael was the father. He asks if she knew when he asked her to marry him. She says she wasn’t certain because she hadn’t had a sonogram, but reasonably sure.

Paul tells Tracy they’d never made any firm plans and he made a mistake. She says she’d have to care to be hurt and she doesn’t. Oh yes she does.

Elizabeth tells Nicholas that she rode with him in the ambulance and helped keep him alive. She says she doesn’t know what happened. Hayden pipes in that she does. Elizabeth tells her she should make something up for the police. Hayden is like, I can’t believe you’re doing this after all Nicholas has done for you.

Jason tells Spinelli not to call him “Stone Cold” again because he’s on edge as it is. He says he’s angry that Elizabeth kept his identity a secret from him. Spinelli is sympathetic, but Jason says talking about it will just piss him off all over again and because he and Elizabeth share a son, he has to deal with her. Spinelli asks if he and Sam might rekindle things.

Sam shows up at Patrick’s and sees the reunion with Robin. She says had she known, she wouldn’t have come over and asks if Patrick and Robin are getting back together. Geez, it might be nice if she asked how Robin is doing first. Robin says it’s a convoluted story that Patrick should probably tell her, and she’s got a doctor’s appointment anyway. Robin thanks Sam for taking such good care of Emma while she was gone and Sam says it was a pleasure. After Robin leaves, Patrick tells Sam that he didn’t want to hold her up from hope with Jason, and now there’s hope for him and Robin too.

Mac jokingly suggests to Anna that they lock Robin and Patrick in an interrogation room until they get it together. Anna says if she needs help she’ll ask. Mac gets a call from the assistant medical examiner. He ran a DNA check on Sloane and Carrrlos. Mac says they can prove Sloane is dead.

Hayden chastises Elizabeth because Nicolas kept her secret and how he nearly died for it.

Jason tells Spinelli about how he didn’t believe Sam and how unfair he was to her because he thought Elizabeth was honest. Spinelli says he’s sure Sam has forgiven him. Jason says that he could see how Sam grieved for him. Spinelli says that doesn’t apply anymore because he’s back, but Jason says not really since he doesn’t remember squat.

Michael says that Sabrrrina told him that they didn’t know each other well enough to get married and she was right, he didn’t know her. She tells him he’s right that family is about love and asks if he could love her child.

Paul asks for another chance. He says he and Tracy have been doing pretty well up until now. He says they’ve spent the better part of the last 20 years ignoring each other, and he doesn’t want to return to that. He asks for her forgiveness.

Patrick admits that he should have done more to find Robin. Sam says she should have seen that Jake was Jason. Patrick says he isn’t proud of how he handled things, but Robin’s rescue was actually due to Sam still having feelings for Jason.

Jason says Jason Morgan isn’t someone he can hide form because he is he. Spinelli tells him that’s an astute observation, but Jason says it was Carly who told him that. He tells Spinelli about the altercation with Nicholas at The Floating Rib and what happened with Nicholas at the gala. He asks what such an angry guy has done to deserve Spinelli’s loyalty and Spinelli says he’s his best friend.

Elizabeth begs Nicholas to tell the police he fell by accident. Hayden says that Jason almost killed Nicholas and now Elizabeth is trying to protect him. Elizabeth tells Nicholas that she’s sorry she didn’t listen to him, but please make the right decision and to lie. Hayden says she doesn’t care how much history she and Nicholas have, she won’t let Elizabeth get away with this.

Elizabeth sees Robin. Robin says she’s sorry that Helena took Jake for all those years, but Elizabeth says she’s just glad to have him back. Robin also mentions the engagement, and Elizabeth tells her what happened. Robin is a little astonished that Elizabeth could have kept Jason’s identity from him.

Sabrrrina tells Michael she loves him. He says he thought this was what he wanted and they could be a happy family. Sabrrrina says they can do that now, and he says he’s not sure of anything except that she lied and she should have wanted better for the baby.

Anna and Mac go over all the Sloane/Carrrlos stuff. Mac asks what the common denominator is and Anna says the DA.

Tracy talks about the bad year she had with Luke and that she was looking for some entertainment and Paul was there, and she thought he was sincere about reconnecting with Dillon. Paul says he was, but he’d also wanted to reconnect with her. Tracy says he’s trying to get around that he would lose his job if anyone finds out he’s sleeping with Ava and might even go to prison. She asks why she shouldn’t make a announcement to the general public.

Patrick and Sam talk blah-blah-blah about their true loves. Patrick asks if she’s going to try to get back together with Jason.

Jason says the two things he knows are that he was married to Sam and he killed people for Sonny. He reflects on how he killed those goons and it didn’t faze him. Spinelli says he was still a noble guy and that he became friends with Sonny because Sonny was there when Jason really needed him. Spinelli says he’s the fairest person he’s ever met and also a generous guy. He says those who call him killer don’t know him, and those who call him friend do. And that even if he never remembers, he’s still Jason’s friend.

Nicholas asks Hayden how they can play Jason’s arrest to their advantage. Methinks he’s been awake for a while.

Elizabeth tries to justify why she lied. She says she didn’t know Jake Doe was Jason at first, but when she found out, she lied to keep the family together. She says she knows it was selfish and unfair, but she’d do it again. Robin says she’s not there to judge and Elizabeth is punishing herself enough. Well, I don’t mind judging her and I don’t think it’s been nearly enough punishment.

Michael says he understands Sabrrina wasn’t being malicious, she was just scared. Sabrrrina says she’s moving back in with Felix and Michael offers financial help. She says she never wanted his money, she wanted him, and things haven’t changed. She starts to leave and he gives her Christmas presents for the baby. Good riddance to him. Next to Carrrlos, he’s incredibly borrring.

Patrick says they both had miracles. Sam says not every miracle has great timing. (Really? What kind of miracle is that?)

Nicholas says he used his injury to his advantage in calculating his next move. He says thanks to Hayden, his options are wide open in regard to Jason.

Jason says Diane is as good as everyone says she is, getting him out on bail with his record. He tells Spinelli thanks for believing in him and Spinelli says he looks forward to the day Jason believes in himself. Jason says he sees why he valued Spinelli’s friendship and that he still does.

Anna tells Mac that “Sloan” had said he had her gun and Carrrlos’s ID. Mac says Paul killed Sloane, dumped his body in the river with Carrrlos’s ID and both got rid of Sloane and got leverage over Anna. He thinks they have enough evidence to open an investigation.

Tracy says she’s opting to protect her own privacy, and therefore protect Paul’s, but she’s going to find a way to repay him. He says he’d like to part amicably, and she says too bad, get out. Good for her.

Sam says she has no expectations where Jason is concerned. She says the last time she saw him, he was in handcuffs with Elizabeth hugging him. She says whatever happened, probably Nicholas started it and Patrick agrees. He says that he loves Robin, but he’s still grateful for the time he spent with Sam. She says just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Sam leaves. Jason is probably on her porch. Or a porch somewhere. That’s always where he seems to show up.

Nicholas says he wants to hold off talking to the police until they decide what story to go with and that a freed Jason might be worth more to them than a Jason in prison. Elizabeth is eavesdropping or at least peeping through the room window.

Jason sees Robin on the bridge. Even though they don’t recognize each other’s faces, he asks if she’s Robin, and she says, “Jason?”

Tomorrow, more Robin and Jason and maybe will get to see which story Nicholas concocts. And what about a New Year’s Eve kiss with Sam and Jason?

Brief Note

Most of Bravo is on hiatus, and they’re gearing up for the new season of Untying the Knot. Knot a whole lot to say about that one. Sorry. Just had to. Basically, it’s the divvying up of a divorced couple’s items without going to court. While there have been a few interesting items – and often some duds like on Pawn Stars – and some half-hearted disagreements, I didn’t find this one too interesting.

I’m longing for the Shahs of Sunset myself.

Dec28

December 27, 2015 –Atlanta Wives & Vegas Aftermath in L.A.

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Worst. Taglines. Ever. Aside from Kandi and Kim.

Cynthia gets flowers from Peter. Ho-hum. I am glad to hear her say  sweet notes and flowers aren’t going to make her forget about their problems though.

Kandi goes to see producer, Roger Bobb (whose name we haven’t heard for a while). Kandi has made a single with friend Demetria, and Roger wants to do a video. Kandi’s assistant (DonJuan) and Roger act like it’s unheard of that a pregnant woman should be working.

One of Apollo’s friends is checking in on the boys, bringing them some guy stuff. When the boys go off to play, the friend asks how things are going. Phaedra says Aidan knows what’s going on and how to contact his father. Apollo has apparently been saying that he has no contact with the kids. The friend says Apollo is remorseful that things didn’t work out. Phaedra is like, hindsight is 20/20, and says they need to just focus on being good parents. Why is there even any pretense? She was done with that guy before he left for prison.

Kandi says it’s been a while since she’s done a video and is having a hard time letting people tell her what to do. Todd shows up on a hoverboard. Look out! I heard those things catch fire spontaneously. Kandi says it’s a lot of work to conceal the pregnancy. Porsha and Phaedra stop by to lend support. And get more camera time.

Kenya and Marlo are working out. Kenya says as a workout partner, Marlo is good at looking pretty and being funny. Her friend, Matt, also shows up. She says there’s been some flirtation but there’s a large age gap. They make plans to get together anyway and I see no reason why not. He’s good looking and seems cool. Ooh, he’s younger than her. I thought it was the other way around. She says she doesn’t mind someone younger, but they have to be old enough “to enjoy this ride.” Not sure what she means by that, but I understand her reluctance. I wasn’t interested in the young ones when I was young.

Kandi says she appreciates DonJuan’s protectiveness, but all right already. They have Kandi in amazing jeweled boots and a flowing poncho and it actually seems to hide that she’s pregnant when the wind machine is going. She says she forgot how hard it was to sing and dance at the same time, and to be having a baby along with it makes it even more difficult. Well, yeah.

Cynthia and Peter are having a romantic lunch by the water. Cynthia says that they used to do a lot together, like taking long drives and just talking, but since they’ve gotten so busy with various projects, they barely see one another. Peter toasts to better days while a local artist sketches their portrait.

Matt and Kenya decide to play basketball for their first date. Kenya wins, but I’m not sure how much he let her win. Kenya says that Matt is sweet, and she’s not saying no to a second date, but she’s reluctant. I think she’s saying he’s too nice for her and I kind of get that, but I also think she should give him a chance. I’m not suggesting she give him a chance to be mean, but to show that he’s multi-dimensional.

Aidan is starting kindergarten. Phaedra says Apollo’s incarceration doesn’t only affect him, but affects the whole family. Aidan is so cute and Phaedra gets teary-eyed about him saying he wants to be with her always. It reminds me of the time I was babysitting a four-year-old boy. We were watching Tarzan and he asked if I would go off in the jungle with him on a motorcycle. (Today, he’s in college and just got into trouble for buying a motorcycle without mom’s permission. At least he’s consistent with something.) We flash back to some  of Aidan’s cutest moments over the past five years. Phaedra tells him that he and Dillon will always be her little babies. They say a prayer thanking God for the day and to make Aiden strong and courageous for the day. Phaedra is having a hard time controlling her emotions.

Porsha is having Facetime or whatever with Oliver. Man, I just don’t like her. She’s like, oh no, all you can see my boobs from this angle – tee-hee-hee. Gag. She asks him if he’s ever had a Black girlfriend before and he hasn’t. She talks about working out and says she’s lost 7 pounds. He says he hopes it’s not from her butt. We flash back to her twerking in a thong the night she met him in Miami. (Ugh!) She asks if he’s ready for a relationship and the connection starts to break up. Ha-ha! What? I can’t hear you!

Kim is giving herself a manicure. She says she’s going out on a school night and is for real grown now.

I guess they’re all going to Kandi’s video release because Kandi is looking for something to wear. Todd jokes that he told Phaedra to bring a check. Kandi says don’t bring it up tonight and to be cordial.

No offense to Kim, but Kenya says that she looks like a confused prostitute from DisneyWorld and I tend to agree. She has on some sparkly black swing top with leather hotpants and thigh-high boots. It’s not that she can’t rock them, but um…her outfit really stands out. Peter tells Todd he can’t believe Phaedra hasn’t paid him yet. I can. I’ve been waiting three years for some money that my husband talked me into lending some acquaintances who turned out to be real jerks. Wish me luck. I’m hoping to get on People’s Court.

Kandi makes a speech about the video. Everyone is thanked for coming and the video gets its premiere. Kandi says everyone seems to like it and she thinks it will be a hit. And I guess Kandi ought to know since she’s had a few. Porsha makes some comments that I ignore because she knows nothing about anything.

Phaedra acts like she’s the big person and tells Todd they need to talk at some point. She then talks smack about him to Porsha and some other chick outside. She acts like just because she never released the video, she doesn’t owe him the money. She keeps talking about how Todd got paid for production, but she still owes him a balance. Because you know, if I buy a car and don’t drive it, I don’t have to make the payments any more. Idiots. They start talking about how the friendship between Phaedra and Kandi got messed up, and Porsha puts in some kind of two cents about how it must be Todd’s fault. DonJuan hears them and pops in out of nowhere.

DonJuan says he thinks a lot more than money broke up the friendship. Porsha says he shouldn’t be sticking his nose in. DonJuan tells them that they shouldn’t be gossiping outside of the event when Kandi was nice enough to invite them. He does a perfect impression of these nasty witches, even though they try to deny what they were doing. The group breaks up and DonJuan throws shade at them as they leave. Phaedra says she owes him no explanations because she doesn’t fraternize with her friends’ workers. Okay, Miss Daisy.

Hmm… No Sheree this week?

Next week, DonJuan lets fly to Kandi about Phaedra’s smack talk and Kenya meets with her father.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s the morning after the night before in Las Vegas. Tom has a beer in his hand already. I drank a few days ago and can’t even look at it. Tom and Schwartz got tattoos – Tom’s got an “A” made out of bacon and Schwartz got “Bubba,” both on their rear ends. Huh? I have nothing against tattoos, but…why? I guess I can see Tom’s A for Ariana, but in bacon? And is Katie’s nickname Bubba?

The girls are getting ready for another night at SUR. Katie says the guys will be chasing the clock, coming to SUR straight from Vegas, and Ariana says they’re going to be smelly and tired. Ariana is going to do some show where she and Tom are going to read from old diaries. This actually sounds kind of cool.

The guys are trying to get it together in the car. Ha-ha! Just wait until you’re older and those hangovers last for-ev-er. Lisa calls to see if they’re on their way and Jax says she’s not going to like the way they smell. Lisa meets them at the door and the Toms show her their tattoos. She says they always take stupidity to a whole new level and I concur.

Ariana shakes Tom down for Vegas winnings. Katie can’t believe Schwartz got Bubba tattooed on his ass. I’m hoping this is some kind of joke between them. She says she thinks she likes it, but she hopes he never goes to prison. Ariana asks if Tom and Schwarta got married too. Ha-ha! Ariana, who is not into tattoos, isn’t impressed.

Scheana says out of all the terrible decisions they could have made, getting tattoos is the best of them. Good point. Jax says that Britney is coming to live with him and he can’t escape the girlfriend question anymore. He adds that Kristen is the only single one now. He wants to plan a dual birthday trip with Tom and ask Kristen to join them. Scheana says Kristen is a lot of fun, but they agree to keep it on the down low for now. Kristen is batsh*t crazy and Scheana is delusional.

Tom’s mother is coming for a visit and Ariana puts her bong in the closet. Ariana’s bong, not Tom’s mom’s bong. They have dinner at SUR (where else?) and Terri (Tom’s mother) talks about the first time Tom was in a talent show, with all the other entrants being girls, and won first place. Tom says he takes after his mother. He introduces her to Lisa. Terri is a firefighter and Tom says that’s where he gets his tough side. Tom talks about Terri getting locked out of the house and says it was like Jurassic Park when she kicked down the door. Ariana tells Terri he also brought home a souvenir from Vegas and he confesses about his tattoo.

Kristen is out for drinks with Jax to ask him for dating advice. She claims not to be a crazy bitch any more, but this remains to be seen. She says she has legit things to talk to Ariana about and she already sounds kind of manic. She says she’s been in therapy for a whole 9 months and she’s’ all better now. I’m thinking she needs a few more years on that couch. Maybe forever.

Kristen says she’s been dating broke musicians and is ready for something new. She and Jax mingle in between shots. Kristen kisses some guy and Jax makes a “woo!” sound, but I didn’t think it was a “woo!” moment at all.

Lisa calls Katie “Bubba,” so it must be a joke between her and Schwartz. Ariana says at least he’s making a commitment. Lisa asks if she’d rather have a tattoo on the ass or a ring on string, and she says the tattoo, so Lisa says there’s been progress.

Lala asks James how he’s doing. Apparently they’ve been making out here and there, but they haven’t “sealed the deal.” It sounds like Lala just wants to be friends with make out benefits. James asks her to stop hanging out with Jax, but she says she’ll hang out with who she wants to. James tells her about the Tom tattoos and she tells him about the girls’ slumber party and make out session. She says when she has tequila, she’ll make out with anyone and that Scheana is the best kisser. James suggests the go out for Margaritas.

Katie is on a break, and she and Kristen are chatting. Katie says she’s okay with Kristen now. Kristen says she’d like to apologize to Ariana and SUR is the only place she knows she’ll see her. Kristen says she doesn’t expect them to be friends, but she hangs out with Ariana’s friends so it might make things less awkward.

Kristen goes into SUR and asks Ariana for a drink. Ariana says she doesn’t feel comfortable serving Kristen alcohol. Kristen apologizes and says she was immature and selfish. Ariana says it doesn’t excuse anything. They go back and forth, and in the end Kristen says her actions will speak louder than her words. She says she doesn’t expect to be friends with Ariana. Ariana says her friends are intelligent, wonderful and funny and Kristen is none of those things. She says she doesn’t trust Kristen and would like her to keep her distance. Kristen apologizes again and leaves. In her individual interview, Ariana says Kristen is not that smart, but she’s calculating and Ariana doesn’t trust her in the least. I feel the same way.

Tom says Ariana reminds him of his mom since they’re both straight-up, no bs people. Ariana says she wishes they could hang out some more, but Terri says she’ll come back again. Ariana talks about the diary show she and Tom are doing, and we flash back to some old pictures of Tom doing modeling. Terri asks to see Tom’s tattoo. Everyone hates it, including Tom. Terri says how good Ariana and Tom are together. Tom says Kristen had been his biggest hater even though she was his girlfriend. Ariana tells them about Kristen’s apology and Terri says it’s been good of them to take the high road.

Schwartz goes to a modeling gig, which he says is better than bartending. I’ll take his word for it, since I’ve done neither. Schwartz is a little flabby, so he suggests they spray some abs on him. I guess he’s good at this. I really don’t know. Katie comes to the shoot and sits with Tom while he’s on break. Katie talks about Jax’s upcoming party and says she’s been getting along with Kristen and would like to see her invited. She talks about Tom and Ariana acting like Stassi in regard to Kristen, but I don’t see how you can compare the two.

Tom and Ariana go to the diary show. I didn’t realize it was on stage. Tom jokes that his readings will be like the Dead Sea Scrolls, affecting the world years from now when they’re discovered. This reminds me of the way off Broadway stuff I did when I was first in NYC.  Ariana starts to read and some of it is pretty funny. Jax doesn’t get it. No surprise there. I don’t think his IQ is incredibly high. When it’s Tom’s turn, he says he didn’t keep a diary, but brings a journal of old song lyrics he wrote. This is actually a pretty good idea and I could see being involved with this. Except for this part. Tom shows everyone his tattoo.

Al l the peeps have shown up for support. Afterwards, they’re hanging out at the bar. Lala is talking to Jax and James comes in, giving her a million kisses. James brings her a drink. There’s a bunch of stupid stuff between the three of them that isn’t even worth typing.

They all go to someone’s apartment and eat pizza. Tom talks about the joint birthday party he and Jax want to throw. Jax says something about inviting Kristen and Tom practically freaks just thinking about it. Someone mentions that enough time has passed, but Ariana says that’s no one else’s call. Truth. Katie calls Tom “Stassi,” but that’s not fair. Stassu was an a-hole who tried to dictate who Katie’s friends were. And she did have a point with Kristen, who slept with Jax (Stassi’s then boyfriend) and lied about it, all the while pretending to be Stassi’s best friend. Tom wonders why he’s being questioned when Kristen is an emotional and mental liability. Katie seems to think he should be over it.

Tom gets loud and everyone calls him a nut.

Next time, Britney arrives and Schwartz gets a ring for Katie.

Hope everyone’s Christmas wishes came true! Ho-ho-ho!

Dec25

December 24, 2015 –A Port Charles Christmas

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Lulu and Maxie take Rocco (who suddenly seems incredibly big for his age) to visit Santa. He says he wants daddy for Christmas. D’oh! This Santa is not Carrrlos.

Michael tells Morgan and Dante that Carrrlos is the baby’s father. It’s also Dante’s anniversary. Bummer.

Jason’s arraignment is today and Carly asks Sam if she’ll go.  Elizabeth calls the court to try and find out about it, but because she’s not a relative, she gets zip info. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

Sonny brings fruitcake cookies to Jason in jail. Sonny tells him Hayden said he tried to kill Nicholas on purpose, and Jason asks if Sonny is questioning that.

Emma says she wants to ask Santa for mommy to come home, but surprise! Mommy’s home. This poor kid totally deserves a great day.

Maxie and Lulu are sitting on a bench watching Rocco play. Maxie says she sorry that Lulu has to go through all this. Lulu says four years ago, it was the happiest day of her life, when she and Dante got married.

Dante says Lulu is going to bring Rocco by later for family stuff.

Ana takes Avery to see Santa and Kiki is one of the elves. Ava asks if she’s given any thought to spending Christmas with her and Avery.

Elizabeth brings down the stockings because she’s as behind as I am. This is Jake’s first Christmas back in a while and Elizabeth says she’s saved his stocking and tells him about how she used to fill it with presents. I guess we don’t care that the younger kid might still believe in Santa.

Sam tells Carly about seeing Jason and Elizabeth hug. Carly tells her that’s Elizabeth’s MO. Carly says something about Jason joining them, but Christina doubts he’ll get out on bail with his record.

Jason tells Sonny that Nicholas threw the first punch and it escalated, but he didn’t mean to throw him over the balcony wall. Unfortunately though, Hayden is the only witness. Sonny says he and Carly will put up the bail money.

Emma asks Robin if she stopped loving them. Robin says if she could have come home, she would have, and that a bad man kidnapped her. She says everything is okay now, because daddy rescued her, and they’ll never be apart again. I never noticed how much Emma actually looks like Robin.

Lulu says she wishes she could get rid of her anger and love Dante the way she used to, but all that’s left is sadness. Maxie says she was going to work, but Nina decided to go skiing with Franco, and now it’s too late to go to Portland. Nathan is working as well.

Carly tells Christina not to be so depressing. Christina says she studied some law and Jason has a mile long record so it’s highly unlikely he’ll get out. Carly says she’s expecting a Christmas miracle.

Jake, Cameron and Aiden wonder if Jason is coming by. Elizabeth tells them about baby Jesus and the Christmas story that Steve, and in later years Alan, used to read at the hospital every year. I desperately miss them, and wish they’d picked someone else to recall this.

Sonny tells Jason to do whatever Diane tells him. Jason says whatever happens, Sonny has his thanks. Sonny says family is the most important thing.

Kiki and Ava are sitting outside with Avery. Kiki says Avery is getting big. She should see Rocco. Ava makes comparisons between baby Avery and when Kiki was a baby. Ava says she hopes Kiki will come over later and Kiki asks if she can hold Avery.

Robin promises never to leave again. There’s a knock at the door and it’s Robert and Anna dressed like the Clauses (except a little more hip – well, they are in Paris), bearing gifts and decorations. Emma says she wished for something like this to happen, but she was worried Robin stopped loving her. Robin says never, and Emma asks, what about Daddy?

Emma tells Robin about how Patrick was with Sam, but her husband came back and they broke up. She asks if they’re going to be a family again, and Patrick says let’s talk about this some other time. Anna distracts Emma by telling her about a tree they saw, and that Emma should come with them to get it. Emma asks If Robin will be there when she gets back and Robin says of course. When they leave, Robin suggests she and Patrick discuss being a family again.

Maxie is sad because she’s not going to see Georgie. Lulu asks her if she’ believes in miracles and tells her to look behind her. It’s Spinelli and Ellie with Georgie.

Michael and Morgan talk about how Sonny used to have Max do everything and pretend it was Santa, even though they could tell it wasn’t Santa. Sonny and Carly join them

Sam and Danny are looking at the tree. Christina is going through old photos, so they can look at them while opening presents. Sam says Christina can be evasive about things and kind of let it slip that she’s not doing so well at school. Christina tells Sam she’s busy enough without sticking her nose into someone else’s business. Okay, she put it more nicely than that, but that’s what she meant.

Elizabeth opens the door to find Jason on the porch.

Maxie comments on how big Georgie is. Another one who should take a look at Rocco. She asks how this happened, and Spinelli tells her Nathan set it up. Lulu says she was prepared to tackle Maxie to the ground rather than letting her go home and miss the surprise. Lulu says she’s going to Sonny’s house. Sonny and Carly tell the guys how they pulled strings with Diane to get Jason home for Christmas with his children.

Kiki tells Avery that she’s given her a purpose. She says she’d lost everyone and her life was like a black hole. Ava says she doesn’t blame Kiki for hating her and apologizes for acting like she could easily smooth things over. Kiki says it’s Christmas Eve and she needs her little sister.

Jason comes in with gifts for the kids. Jake shows Jason his stocking hanging on the mantel and asks if he’s home for good.

Sam tells Christina it’s cool and she can talk when she’s ready. Christina asks about Jason, and Sam says somehow she and Jason always find their way back to each other.

Robin asks about Patrick breaking up with Sam. He says it was mutual. Robin says she knows he never asked for any of the chaos she brought into his life. She says she’s sorry and she never stopped loving him.

Ava asks Kiki if Morgan asked her to spend Christmas there, and Kiki says she turned him down. She says that’s his family and this is hers, for better or worse. Kiki says they’ll see how it goes. Ava asks if there’s anything special she wants for Christmas and to just ask. Kiki says, “Anything?” and Ava tells her yes. Kiki says she’ll ponder it. Ava better watch her words. I’m wondering if Kiki will ask Ava to give Sonny custody. I kind of don’t trust her.

Carly passes out the stockings. She has one for Avery because she lives in hope.

Cameron says that Elizabeth just told them the story of Jesus and that they should show compassion and love. He says that Jason should forgive Elizabeth. Jake asks Jason to come back to live with them. Jason says they’ll see him so much they’ll be sick of him, but he can’t come back to live there.

Christina gives Sam a gift. It’s a diamond star necklace from Jason that Sam had lost.

Patrick says he had to convince himself that Robin no longer loved him. He says he had to find someone new to get over her, that he loved Sam and vice versa, but there was a part of Sam that couldn’t let go of Jason. He says it was the same with him, that he couldn’t let go of Robin and he never stopped loving her. They kiss and bluebirds with ribbons in their mouths fly around.

Anna, Robert and Emma come back with the tree. It’s small, but perfect and doesn’t look like a real tree. I’m guessing they didn’t want to be picking up pine needles every five seconds or find them in bizarre places, like their underwear, later. (If you’ve had a real tree, you know this happens.) Emma gives Robin and angel. She says that Anna said if she makes a wish and puts it on the tree, the wish will come true. Robin says all her wishes have been granted and gives Emma the angel to put on the tree, and tells her to make a wish. Emma wishes for them to be a family again.

Maxie calls Nathan to thank him and say what a wonderful guy he is. She thanks Spinelli and Ellie too.

Elizabeth brings the kids to see Santa. Jason says she’ll catch up with them later. He sees Sam and Danny on a bench and asks how their Christmas is going. This episode is a little confusing. Is it Christmas or Christmas Eve? And either way, the kids are just seeing Santa? Everyone also seems to be hanging out on benches in the middle of town.

Lulu shows up at Sonny’s with Rocco.

Sonny gets a selfie-stick for Christmas and has no idea what it is. Kiki shows up with Avery.

Jason holds Danny. He sees the necklace on Sam and remembers giving it to her.

At Sonny’s house, they’re taking pictures with the stick. Lulu, Dante and Rocco pose together.

Next week, Elizabeth tells Nicholas to say it was an accident and the Mac investigates the mystery of Sloane’s death further.

Merry Christmas

Hope you have a very Merry Christmas! I’m off to watch the A Christmas Story marathon on TNT. See you late night Sunday. And just remember – you’ll shoot your eye out!

Dec19

December 18, 2015 — GH, No GH, Mini Chefs & Friday Night Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital — Thursday

Alexis asks Molly to try and be nice to Julian when they’re at the Nutcracker Gala. Molly tries to get out of going by saying she needs to look after Sam. Alexis says Sam can look after herself just fine.  Mystery occasional daughter Christina arrives.

There’s something wrong with the mic system at the gala. Tracy is worried that no one will hear Paul’s speech. Little hearts pop out of her eyes like in the Pepe LePew cartoons.

Franco sees Elizabeth at the hospital and he ducks. Then he asks if she’d go to the gala with him.

Robin tells nice dude Henrico that he’s the first guard who’s ever been nice to her and maybe she can return the favor. Wet blanket Jerry Jax comes in the room.

Anna tells Patrick that they might be on a wild goose chase. He says he doesn’t think so because of the necklace. She says maybe the Cassadines planted it on purpose just to throw them off.

Tracy asks Nina if she’s seen Dillon. Nina says no, but he’s supposed to be working the gala for Crimson.

Dillon sees Maxie outside. They start reminiscing about Georgie.

Elizabeth says she’s not going to the gala with or without Franco. He says he’s not asking her out on a date. He needs to be there for work. He asks if she’s afraid she’ll run into Jason and she says he’d hardly be at a function like that.

Carly checks Jason into the hotel and says let’s get a drink.

Robert says that the WSB has been monitoring the Cassadines. Patrick asks what they know and who has Robin. Anna asks if it’s Jerry Jax.

Henrico tells Jerry he was just about to kill her and Jerry says hurry up then. Jerry also says both Patrick and Anna aren’t far away. Jerry tells Henrico to execute the plan and Robin and don’t make a mess. Robin tries to get Jerry to change his mind to no avail.

Henrico says there’s nothing he can do, so don’t ask. Robin says he’s wrong. There is one last thing.

Christina asks Sam prying questions about her love life. Christina says exams ended early and Alexis says good, she can go to the gala too. Sam gets her jacket on and says she has a quick errand to run, but hopes everyone has a good time.

Christina asks Molly about their mother’s password. She says she doesn’t want to, but she has to hack into Alexis’s account.

Maxie and Dillon think about Georgie as they look up at the stars. Dillon gives Maxie and envelope. We don’t see it, but I assume a picture of Georgie is inside.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he knows she’s feeling all alone in the world right now and does she have a dress?

Carly asks if Jason wants a martini, but he says scotch will do the trick. She says she thinks she’ll join him. They drink to friendship. Jason tells her to go ahead and say she told him so. She says she had no idea Elizabeth knew all that time. He asks if she thinks it’s for the best, and she says Elizabeth always tried to turn him into the person she needed and he’s not that person. Jason says he wasn’t ready to listen before, but who’s he supposed to be? Carly says he has to figure it out for himself.

Henrico is listening to opera and Robin makes chitchat about it. She says her family traveled all the way to Pars and she can’t bear for them not to know what happened. Henrico says there’s nothing he can do. She asks if he was named for the guy in the opera who was a hero and tells him he needs to do the right thing.

Patrick says the last time Emma and Robin talked, it wasn’t their regular time and he thinks Robin was trying to tell them something.

Christina is working the laptop like a boss and thinks up a password I never would have. She looks at Alexis’s email and Molly reads something about disciplinary action with Christina at school. Christina deletes it before she can finish and says why ruin Christmas?

Maxie says she was going to visit Georgie’s memorial stone, but this is better. She asks if Dillon ever talks to Georgie. She says she does and it helps and hurts at the same time. Dillon says he thinks of both the high and low points of their relationship and it was everything. Maxie says she used to love the holidays, but now, not so much. Dillon identifies and so do I. Maxie says this year she has to work and they’d better get going before Nina sends out a search party.

Sam wants to leave something for Patrick at the hospital, but is told he’s on a leave of absence. Elizabeth pops out asking what does she expect, since she turned everyone’s lives upside down. Boo! Hiss!

Carly says normally she likes to interfere, but Jason should trust himself and that he has good instincts. Jason balks and Carly points out instances in the past seven months when he’s used them.

Patrick’s phone rings and it’s Robin. She says her neighbor told her he was looking for her. She finds out that Emma is there too. Robin says good-by and says she’s off to Elysium.

Alexis asks what’s going on and Christina says something about needing the computer for school work. When she goes back upstairs, Molly asks what kind of trouble Christina is in. Christina avoids the question.

Carly asks Jason to come to the gala. She says neither Elizabeth nor Sam will be there. She says he and Sonny can be miserable together. He says he only has a duffel bag of jeans and T-shirts, but Carly says she can set him up with one phone call.

Elizabeth, who apparently has no idea why Patrick is away, gives Sam a humongous lecture on how it’s her fault. Sam says for 7 months, she kept Jason’s identity while everyone else suffered. Elizabeth says that Sam is worse, pretending to love Patrick while really wanting Jason.

Robin tells Patrick she loves him and Henrico takes the phone. Impatient Jerry pops in again and says if you want a job done right, do it yourself. Henrico says he doesn’t know what to do about the lab. Jerry says he’ll do that part and Henrico takes Robin out of the lab. She says now they can escape and he needs to live up to his name as a hero. He says endings aren’t always happy and grabs her arm to take her down the hallway.

Patrick asks if Elysium is code for something. Robert says maybe, but Anna says it means “heaven.”

Sam goes home to Alexis’s, who looks absolutely amazing in a navy blue formal gown. Alexis says Sam looks like she wants to punch something and Sam tells her about running into Elizabeth. She also tells Alexis about Patrick and says she can’t figure it out. The ladies all leave for the gala.  Sam sees that Alexis forgot her check, but it’s too late, she’s gone. Fastest pulling out of a driveway ever.

Nina explains how she wants the guests’ pictures taken (in a bower of white branches) to Dillon. She chastises Dillon and Maxie for being late. Maxie says they’re here now and has Dillon take Nina’s photo.

Carly shows up at the gala with Jason. Monica says it’s great to see them. Carly says she left her phone at the bar and Jason goes back to get it. Monica thanks Carly for getting him there.

Franco and Elizabeth arrive. Franco says he’s proud of her for facing her challenges. He rambles and she tells him to stop talking.

Anna wonders if Robin knows they’re here. Robert says she isn’t in the compound anymore but is on the island and they’re going to have to hurry. Patrick wants to go with them. Robert says it’s dangerous, but there really isn’t much argument. Oh, yay, a hero moment for the lip gloss king.

Monica asks where Paul is and Tracy says he must have gotten tied up, but he’ll be there. Monica says she has to admit, the artwork from Ava is top-notch, but she still didn’t invite her. Alexis gets there and realizes she forgot the check. While she runs out, Christina makes sure her phone doesn’t have the message from the school

Maxie says Nina is really getting the hang of things. Franco shows up and says that Nina looks more beautiful every time he sees her. He says he brought a colleague.

Sam shows up with the check and sees Elizabeth. Jason sees the both of them. Soap opera faces all around.

The Scorpios get their old moves back and bust into the lab. With Anna and Robert’s guns drawn on Jerry, Patrick backs him up against the wall. Jerry says they’re too late, Robin is dead.

Monday – the Nutcracker Gala and more Scorpio fun!

General Hospital — Friday

I started typing until I realized they’re repeating the Thanksgiving episode. What ? Why? My only guess is that they got scared. When I turned it on, George Stephanopoulos was talking. I have no idea about what, since I was cursing him and my life at that moment, but then he went away. Whatever it was must have scared ABC into showing a repeat because they feared the viewers’ wrath should there have been  a total preemption. Better to just put the show off totally.

Master Chef Junior

I always preface this with how I don’t say much about this show because I’m snarky and mocking children isn’t my thing. I do love this show though, and Gordon Ramsey rocks. It’s nice to see his kinder, gentler side.

Tonight, the kids have to recreate a dish that they’ll be tasting while blindfolded. This is tough when the adults do it, never mind someone whose palate hasn’t been around the world yet. Oh, and they have 60 minutes to do it.

The team challenge, with the captains being the winners of the taste challenge, is to run a restaurant. Again this is similar to the adult version of either Master Chef or Hell’s Kitchen. They both blend in together after a while.  One team has ingredients from New England and the other, New Mexico.  I always feel bad for whoever’s picked last when it’s a team challenge.

A whole bunch of grandmas – and I mean that literally – are the judges, so I’m thinking maybe they’ll go easy on the kids, but then again, maybe not. It all looks good to me.

Speaking of Hell’s Kitchen, it’s premiering January 15.

The blue team wins, with Addy heading them once again. I predict her for the win.

Don’t worry kids who went home – one of whom was a surprise to me – I can barely get a buffet for 15 catered, never mind cook for an entire restaurant. Job more than well done!

Next week, Graham dresses like a chicken  and eggs are involved.

Z Nation

Citizen Z is trying to contact Addy. Or anybody for that matter. He’s down to his last battery. He’s desperate to tell them to abort the mission because the location has been compromised. The battery runs out and he throws the laptop away.

Vasquez and Roberta have gone inside the renegade diner. Roberta takes some tea from the woman behind the counter. Vasquez passes, but they signal for the others to come in. The counter lady talks about the diner and asks what it’s like out there.

Doc says all Zs. She asks if there’s anywhere safe, and Roberta says a few places, but not many. A car pulls up and it’s nothing good. It’s a bunch of guys from Deliverance and they ask for liquor. They ask if the woman’s name is Annie and when she says yes, the head guy says she’s the one who knows about The Murphy. They want the bounty.

Main dude buys a round of drinks for everyone. (Does anyone use money? What do they use?) The guy says they have The Murphy sedated and show them a zombie on a leash. Obviously not Murphy. Murphy is dressed like a woman with a scarf over his face. When head dude asks for a dance he pretends to be shy. Head dude throws something at Murphy and all the guns come out.

He says he’s noticed the real Murphy and his Murphy move at the same time. He’s getting suspicious about Murphy and while he’s talking his own zombie takes a bite out of him. There’s a mini shoot out and Annie stops it with her own gun. She sees that Muphy is the real deal

10K has been shot. Annie goes outside and fires a flare to contact Dr. Merch and what’s left of the CDC lab. 10K is losing a lot of blood. Murphy asks questions about where Dr. Merch has been hiding, but Annie says it’s classified.

Citizen Z packs up a sled, along with Pup, and says they’re not coming back.

A military team approaches the diner. Roberta asks Murphy if he’s ready. He says no, but when has that ever mattered? Roberta tells the lieutenant that Murphy is there. The Lt calls him “The Murphy” and Murphy says he doesn’t know where the “The” came in.  10K is taken out on a stretcher. Roberta tells the lieutenant to treat Murphy humanely. He say’s they’ll treat him like the celebrity he’s about to become. Addy says don’t forget the little people. Doc wants to go with 10K, but there isn’t enough room.

I don’t like this one bit.

Murphy tells Vasquez he’s sorry about Vasquez’s family. Doc says no good-by? Murphy holds out his hand, but Doc hugs him. Murphy gives Doc an Ace playing card and Doc gives Murphy a z-weed joint.  Murphy says good-by to Roberta. He says who knows, maybe he’ll actually do something good and she says they’re counting on him.

The caravan leaves. They start to clean up, but as Doc is removing a body, a shot hits it. Operation Bite Mark duck for cover. It’s the Zeros shooting up the place. We hear La Reina calling Roberta to come and get some mercy.

She’s looking pretty jacked up, hair all crazy and fire in her eyes. A gun battle ensues and La Reina tells her troops to advance. Annie, who’s pretty mean with a gun herself, calls everyone inside. La Reina has Dr. Kurian’s head in a box. When he starts being annoying, she closes the box. She looks through the site of her gun for Roberta.

Annie shows OBM her arsenal. She says she’s low on ammo, but they can give them hell in the meantime. It’s suddenly quiet, which Roberta says worries her more.

Murphy is on a submarine along with 10K, who is wheeled into surgery. They tell Murphy 10K is in good hands and he continues with Dr. Merch and the lieutenant. The doctor asks if Murphy has had any side effects, and Murphy says he is a walking side effect. The lieutenant talks about the development of a whole new world and tells Murphy that Zona (a reference to another episode) is not only real, it’s the future. At the beginning of the apocalypse, some businessmen and scientists created a new world on a zombie free island. Murphy notices that some of the crew have funny eyes. He says if they’re going to save the human race, they’d better get to it.

La Reina says she just wants Murphy. Roberta says too late, he’s gone. Vasquez tries to shoot La Reina, but misses. The back row of troops runs swords through the front row and uses them as shields like Uma Thurman in whichever Kill Bill movie that was.

Annie  gets shot and turns into a zombie. After a small tussle, Doc gives her mercy.

The Zeros are getting in.

Back at the sub, the doctor is preparing Murphy for giving some blood samples for tests. He asks her what the deal is with the crews’ eyes. She said it was a side effect of one of the early vaccines given to people on Zona . She says that some of the earliest people are losing their immunity and turning. She says that’s why they need him, especially the founder of Zona. He says he thought the vaccine was for everybody, and the doctor is a little vague in that it sounds like maybe when they get around to it, the peons will get a turn. Dr. Merch asks questions about childhood diseases and the usual medical background. When she asks id he has children, Murphy says that’s kind of personal and doesn’t answer.

Murphy asks for privacy, and Dr. Merch asks the guards to leave. When they’re gone, Murphy turns on her. He says he doesn’t want to be a blood bag for some billionaires when he traveled all that way and went through so much to save all of humanity.

It doesn’t look good for OBM. A big Zero dude is swinging around a mean looking weapon. Roberta shoots, but she’s out of bullets and the gun just makes that clicking sound. We both say, oh sh*t. Addy tries to fight him, but he breaks her weapon and hits her with his. While she’s down, she still has enough strength to hit him where it counts. In the meantime Roberta has reloaded and shoots him.

La Reina come drags her sorry self over to Roberta. She says it’s good to see her and can they talk like sisters. She says she’s unarmed and it’s not too late for Roberta to  be her right hand. She asks Roberta to help her find Murphy. Roberta says the CDC has him. La Reina says that was a big mistake.  They go head to head and it’s a pretty good fight scene. Again very Tarantino.

Finally Roberta is down and La Reina is standing over her, but Escorpion runs her through with a sword. What?

Citizen Z is pulling the sled with Pup in it through the snow. He doesn’t look too good. I’m always worried about him and Pup.

Roberta comes too and can’t believe Escorpion is there. Vasquez knocks him in the head and Roberta says he saved her life. Addy is surprised he’d kill his queen. He says she wasn’t human anymore. He says he won’t rob Vasquez of his revenge and he’s not afraid to die. He apologizes for killing Vasquez’s family and says he realized it was the worst thing he ever did and he wanted to die too. The rest of OBM leave the room so Vasquez can make his decision. They hear a gunshot and Escorpion comes out. They run in and Vasquez is sitting at the bar. He says he couldn’t do it and Roberta says she’s glad for him.

He’s looking at a picture of his wife and daughter. He says his mission is over. Roberta says it’s time to say good-by. Oh come on. Say something. She leaves and tells the others that Vasquez is alive, but he’s not coming with them. Doc asks what they’re doing now and Roberta says she doesn’t know.

An alarm is sounding on the sub. 10K is alone and gets off of the examining table.

Escorpion pulls up alongside OBM he asks if they need a ride. He says he’s got enough food, ammo and z-weed for a month. Addy tells Roberta they can always kill him and steal the truck. She’s kidding. I hope.

Vasquez is just sitting by himself looking at the picture. He rolls his bandana and puts it around his head. He leaves the diner to face a crowd of zombies and begins shooting and running.

Doc says he hates to admit it but he misses Murphy. Escorpion says he didn’t know him long, but Murphy seemed like kind of a dick.

They get to a cliff and look out to the ocean. The sub is burning. A small boat is jetting across the water from it. Doc looks through binoculars, and sees Murphy, but not 10K. The sub blows up. Addy starts to freak.

Some military planes fly overhead and Doc says they don’t look American. Roberta says, they’re not, and a bunch of military guys with guns pop out of the woods.

We get closer to the boat. Murphy is controlling it, as he’s bitten the lieutenant and Dr. Merch. 10K is playing the part of a soldier in a helmet.

Nooo! Citizen Z is conscious, but frozen in his tracks. He sees someone coming toward him, but does he really?

In the final reel, we see Murphy’s daughter who, no surprise, is growing like a weed. She’s controlling her foster parents who have now been turned into hybrid zombies.

While Z Nation will be back next year (they didn’t exactly say when), why must we have these hiatuses? I wish we could just go back to normal TV seasons where we were on a school year schedule and we had the summer off.

Dec17

December 16, 2015 — GH & 1989

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Jerry Jax is hassling Robin. He wants a definitive yes or no on whether her work has been successful. How is she supposed to get anything done with him bugging her all the time?

Anna tells Mac he’s done enough, but he wants to follow through with getting the goods on Paul. He tells her the information he has about Paul, none of which is very helpful, and says he’s talked to everyone, so he doesn’t know where to go from here. Not everyone, says Anna, and I already know she must mean Tracy.

Yep. Paul and Tracy are walking through a winter wonderland and I’m wondering where they are since it’s not snowing in New York where Port Charles is supposed to be.

Ava runs into Kiki while she’s delivering paintings for the auction. Ava tells her there’s someone who needs her, but it’s not Ava.

In the Corrinthos  household, Sonny is exercising and Carly thinks that Morgan is still sleeping, but he walks through the front door. Sonny asks if he’s been out all night. Morgan says yes and so what? He says he slept on the couch at a friend’s house. Friends they don’t know. He gets kind of testy and Carly asks if he’s taking his meds. He shakes his pill bottle at them and says yes, like showing them the bottle makes it so. He goes upstairs.

Ava says she’s clear on Kiki’s feeling toward her, but she wants Avery to know her big sister. She wants Kiki to come over on Christmas. Kiki says Avery is too young to know what’s going on. Ava says she will one day and asks Kiki to put their differences aside and give Avery a merry Christmas.

Tracy flatters Paul, saying he’s a genius at his job and has really come through for Dillon. Paul says they set the bar low at his job, but Dillon is doing well. He got a job at Crimson and he’s going to stay in Port Charles. Tracy says they’re a family again for the first time in a long time, and she thinks that’s part of why Dillon is shaping up. Carrrlos is eavesdropping.

Sabrrrina asks Dr. Lee if she can speak with her. The doctor says sure, but Michael pops out of nowhere and says let’s go over the sonogram. Sabrrrina must want to punch him in the nose by now, since he doesn’t give her a moment’s peace.  Dr. Lee says the sono looks great and the development is right on track. Sabrrina is like, cool, let’s go, but Michael says hold on there, I have a few questions. He says according to the internet, the baby is big. Dr. Lee says stay off of google and the baby is in the range it’s supposed to be.

Mac says Dillon probably doesn’t know much and Tracy isn’t going to help. Anna agrees that she’d probably just tip Paul off. She has a call in to someone who might be able to help with the autopsy report.  Mac says it’s good to see her back to her old self. Anna says she feels like she has a way forward now and needs to find out what happened and why.

Emma and Patrick are in Paris and go to the address they think they have for Robin – where they send letters from Emma – but it’s an antique shop. Patrick tells Emma that he must have put the wrong address into his phone.

Jerry says that Robin’s 48 hours are up, and she says she’s had a breakthrough. She’s found the secret to immortality.

Carly says it’s too soon for Morgan to be out all night. Sonny says as a father, he agrees, but as someone who is bi-polar, he gets where Morgan is coming from and how much he hates people watching him all the time. Carly wants to count his pills, but Sonny says don’t do it. Just as she’s about to, Morgan comes downstairs. He gets livid, but counts out the pills and proves he’s been taking them. (Well, not really, he could have thrown them out.) He stalks out and Sonny tells Carly they need to make a plan so they know what to do when Morgan has another episode.

Ava and Kiki go down Christmas Memory Lane and talk about seeing the Rockefeller Center tree. Kiki almost starts laughing, but then shuts down and says she doesn’t want to discuss it. Ava asks her to please just think about Avery, and Kiki says okay. Ava texts Paul, saying she’s had a victory and to meet her at her place later.

Tracy asks what’s up with the text and Paul says he can handle it later. They kiss. Well, Tracy really kisses Paul, but he’s okay with it too.

Anna says if she can find Carrrlos, she can get him to turn state’s evidence. She says if she’s correct, Paul also killed Sloane. She gets a call and says they might be able to prove something after all.

Robin says that she thinks someone’s personality can be preserved digitally. Jerry says that’s sci/fi stuff, but can she really do that? She says she needs more time and he heaves a huge sigh, but asks how much.

There’s a knock at Patrick’s door. It’s the lady from the antique shop who got a note from him. He says that’s the address he had for his wife. The lady asks if that’s Robin Scorpio, and Patrick asks if she knows where Robin is. The lady says no, but she might be able to tell him what happened. He invites her in. She says that her address is similar to one on the other side of town, and often people get them confused. The lady is getting ready to leave when Emma says she likes her necklace. Patrick gives the necklace a weird look. After the lady leaves, Emma tells Patrick that Spencer has same necklace

Jerry asks what the timeline is, five or ten years? Robin says it could be longer. Jerry says he needs something that he can sell to the highest bidder now and her time is up.

Tracy is like, I don’t know where that came from, but says it’s nice having Paul around. She jets out of there like a bat out of hell. Carrrlos pops out and Paul hands him an envelope. Paul says he took a huge chance coming back and to get lost until Paul needs him for something else. Paul says he’ll be lucky if Sabrrrina doesn’t turn him in and Carrrlos says she wouldn’t turn in the father of her child.

Dr. Lee says Sabrrrina and baby are progressing right on schedule. Sabrrrina says she has to refill her prenatal vitamins and is going to meet Felix after, so Michael should run along. After he leaves, Dr. Lee says Sabrrina has enough vitamins and she knows the baby is further along than it should be. She assumes Michael isn’t the father. Sabrrina thanks her for not saying anything in front of Michael and the doctor says she’s bound by doctor/patient confidentiality.

Carly asks Ava if Avery can spend some unsupervised time on Christmas with Sonny. For Avery’s sake. Ha-ha! That’s the same argument Ava used with Kiki.

Morgan goes to the MetroCourt and Kiki asks how he’s doing. He says he’d be better if everyone would get off his back. She says she relates and tells him about Ava trying to get her to come over. Morgan tells her about counting out his pills for Carly to prove he’s taking his meds, and Kiki says but he isn’t. When they were bussing the table the last time Morgan was there, they found his pills. Told you.

Morgan says he can’t catch a break anywhere. He says he told the doctor he lost them and the doctor issued replacements. I don’t think that’s how that works. He asks why Kiki even cares since she just wants to be friends. She says she cares because she is a friend. He makes a big deal about asking her for water so he can take his pills.

Ava says she has plans. Carly says how about before her plans? Ava says to be clear, Carly is asking her to give Sonny an unsupervised visit on Christmas with Avery? When Carly says yes, Ava says absolutely not.

Michael tells Sonny he’s worried about him, but Sonny says there’s nothing to worry about. He says PT is going well and Epiphany is a real drill sergeant. He asks how the baby is. Michael says he just came from an appointment and they’re fine. Sonny says he can tell something’s wrong and Michael says he thinks Sabrrrina is hiding something.

Paul tells Carrrlos the baby means everything to the Quartermaines. Carrrlos tells Paul he might have abandoned his son as a baby, but he doesn’t roll like that. Paul says he needs to get out of the country until Paul needs him again. Carrrlos says he’s in no hurry because, thanks to Paul, everyone thinks he’s dead. Carrrlos had better watch it or he’s going to really be dead.

Anna says there’s a blood sample on file from Carrrlos, and it can be compared to the DNA on the necklace. She says they have nothing for Sloane though, and Mac tells her that while he was in Sloane’s apartment, he took Sloane’s toothbrush. Anna is ecstatic. She gets a call from Patrick who tells her he’s in Paris, but Robin isn’t there, and he doesn’t think she ever was.

Morgan apologizes. Kiki accepts. He says he needs all the friends he can get, and she says please just take your pills. Carly shows up and apologizes to Morgan. She says she just did it out of love, and Morgan says okay. Carly tells Kiki she appreciates her standing by Morgan. Kiki says she just wants to see him get better. Carly says if he listens to the doctor, he’ll get on track, but left untreated, his illness can get worse.

Tracy and Ava literally bump into each other.

Paul says there’s dead and there’s dead, and which one would Carrrlos prefer? Carrlos says don’t worry, he’s leaving. He doesn’t want to end up in Pentenville or worse. He adds that someday, somehow though, he will be with Sabrrrina.

Dr. Lee says the stress of keeping her secret isn’t helping Sabrrrina. Sabrrrina says if she tells Michael, she’ll break his heart. The doctor says he’s already asking questions, she’s going to deliver way early, and at least she would be taking control of the situation if she told him.

Sonny tells Michael that all women act weird when they’re pregnant and not to worry about it. Michael asks if he misses Avery. Sonny says yes, and he can’t wait to see her, but he wishes he’d be standing when he does. Michael asks Sonny if it bothers him that Sabrrina was involved with the man who shot him. Sonny says he’s just glad Sabrrrina ditched Carrrlos.

Anna is like, what the blip do you mean Robin isn’t there? She says maybe Patrick wrote the address down wrong. Patrick says that he thinks the Cassadines are involved because their family crest was on the antique store lady’s necklace. Anna says wait right there. She tells Mac she has to head to Paris.

Robin tells Jerry this will be a tremendous achievement for him. He says he needs something that will turn a profit like yesterday. I guess everyone is hurting economically, even Jerry Jax. He says her time has run out and tells the lackey in the hall to kill her. (Said lackey was being nice to her earlier, so I’m guessing she’s going to use that and escape.) Geez, I’d say Jerry owes Robin at least another year for all the time he took up asking her the same questions repeatedly and saying “time’s up” over and over.

Tomorrow – Robert is here! And more repercussions for Elizabeth.

Then and Now With Andy Cohen

This episode covered 1989. I know a lot happened with me in that year, but apparently the rest of the world was busy too. The Berlin Wall came down, Rob Lowe embarrassed himself with a sex tape, Madonna scandalized with Like a Prayer and The Simpsons ruled television.

I highly recommend this retrospective mini-series, which I’m sure will be rerun a thousand times on Bravo.  I could watch this stuff all day long. Unfortunately, there’s only one more episode. I’m wondering why just a few episodes, and who picked the arbitrary years?

Nov25

November 23, 2015 — GH, a Yachtee Reunion & Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Carrrlos makes tea and toast for Sabrrrina – to settle her stomach after the shock of seeing him.

Paul tells Ava that Kiki has been arrested.

Nathan asks Kiki if she’s hungry because they have donuts. Hahahahaha! Imagine that. Donuts in a police station.

Lulu brings Maxie back to the apartment to get some things. She says it’s officially over with Dante.

Sam comes home to Patrick. He asks how the trip was. How much time does he have? He asks if she found what she was looking for and she says she did. What? A dead Helena? Not that I believe it. Sam says the way Nicholas reacted, she “thinks” Helena is dead. Since he had virtually no reaction, I’m wondering what she’s talking about. She says when she was with Jason, it felt like she was with a buddy, not her husband.

Dante whines to Michael that he should have seen what was going on with Morgan. Then he whines about Lulu accusing him of something he didn’t do.

Lulu says she wants to tear the place apart for signs of Valerie cheating with Dante. Maxie tells her don’t go down that road, and then Lulu finds a renegade lipstick tube in the bathroom.

Ava asks Paul to do something to help Kiki. He acts like he never heard of such a thing before. He says if he starts cleaning up her messes, it will be a red flag that they’re working together. Okay…

Jordan tells Nathan he has a personal connection to the case, and she’ll be handling Kiki’s case from now on. Like this has ever been an issue before.

Carrrlos says circumstances allowed him to fake his own death, then asks Sabrrrina if it’s his baby she’s having.

Dr, Andre comes to visit Morgan at the hospital. (Maddox, his name is Andre Maddox.) Dr. Andre asks if anything has been stressing him out, and Morgan says pretty much his whole life. I can identify. Dr. Andre says he wouldn’t be a good doctor if he went by someone else’s diagnosis, so he wants to run some tests to see what’s up with Morgan.

Christina – the mystery kid who shows up once in a while – is there for Thanksgiving. Dr. Andre tells Sonny it’s too early for a diagnosis and he wants to observe Morgan for a while.

Sabrrrina tells Carlos it’s not his baby and she’s with Michael now. He’s not buying it and neither am I. What’s she going to do when that baby comes out with a moustache and beard?

Paul asks Jordon what’s up with arresting Kiki like he doesn’t know it all already. Jordan fills him in, but says they probably won’t be able to get the DUI to stick, since there were no tests taken. Ava arrives and tells Kiki not to say anything until she gets a lawyer and Kiki tells her to piss off.

Maxie tells Lulu that the lipstick was a Christmas gift from her, which apparently she wasn’t too crazy about. Lulu says she can never trust Dante again, and Dante walks in. He asks what they’re doing there. Is he a total idiot? Don’t answer that. I already know.

Morgan, Sonny and Carly have a conversation so boring, I tune out.

Lulu says she’s there to pick up some stuff. Dante sees the separation papers and Lulu says he was the one who said they’re done. Dante starts getting stupid, making up things that haven’t happened yet. Lulu tells Maxie to hit the road. She and Dante need to talk.

Sam says she had to go halfway around the world to find out her answers were inside her all the time. Then she clicks her ruby slippers and tells Patrick she realizes how much she loves him.

Carrrlos says since everyone thinks he’s dead, they’re free to leave the country. Sabrrrina says her life is there with her baby’s father. If she doesn’t want to go, I will totally volunteer for this mission. Idiot Michael knocks at the door and interrupts my fantasy.

Michael is banging at the door and Carrrlos isn’t budging. Sabrrina says if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll hide in her bedroom while she answers the door. He makes a smart remark about her bedroom, but gets off the couch. Sabrrrina asks Michael to bring the car around while “she looks for her scarf.”

Lulu says she doesn’t see any other way. Dante says they need to work it out. Lulu says she doesn’t want to even look at the bed he and Valerie slept in. Dante suggests they move and asks how he can regain her trust.

Maxie (and Nathan?) are going to spend the holiday in Portland, but Maxie is doing some last minute work in the interrogation room because it’s quieter than the office.

Carly says she wants to drop the charges against Kiki. Jordan says it’s Paul’s call. Paul says it’s Thanksgiving and he’s in a good mood, so okay! Jordan lets Kiki go. Ava tries to get her to go to her place, but Kiki totally ignores her and leaves with Carly to see Morgan.

Since it’s Thanksgiving in Port Charles, I’m guessing we’re getting a rerun on the actual day.

Boring Sonny talks to boring Morgan, who says he should have gone to the doctor when they first told him to. He says he’s scared. Can we get back to Carrrlos?

Sam acts all ridiculous over how much she loves Patrick.

Sabrrina tells Carrrlos he can’t stay. He says he’ll go, but what happens next? She doesn’t answer him.

Lulu says Dante can’t glue things back together and ignore the cracks. I guess what she means by that is they can’t pretend nothing happened and need to get to the root of the problem.

Ava thanks Paul. He says he did it for Carly. Ava asks him if he’s falling for her trailer park allure. He says that’s not it, that it’s to deflect the attention from himself. Paul tells her to keep her eye on the prize – bringing down Sonny.

More boring stuff with Sonny and Morgan. Carly brings in Kiki. Morgan apologizes and Kiki says she’s just glad he’s all right. Carly asks her to join them for Thanksgiving dinner in the cafeteria.  Bobbie shows up with some huge bags of food. They have everything set up by the time the commercial break is over.

Maxie says that she’s putting work aside until Monday and her attention is now totally on Nathan and Georgie. I guess he is going.

Carrrlos is not believing that Sabrrrina’s baby isn’t his, and says he’s not going anywhere. He says this to himself, since she left with Michael.

Sonny runs down all the problems everyone has and what they should be grateful for. Zzzzzzz….

Lulu leaves Dante alone in the apartment. How long before Valerie shows up?

Paul has to go to the Quartermaines’. Ava asks if he’d like to stay for dinner, but he says his son is expecting him.

I am going to pass out if Sonny doesn’t stop talking. Honestly, I can’t take it.

Tomorrow, I’m right about Valerie, and a Quartermaine Thanksgiving. Pizza for everyone!

Below Deck – Reunion Part 1

This time, the yachtees get out of the clubhouse and get a real reunion room.

We start off with TMI from Emile. Moving on immediately. They talk about their favorite charter guests this season, and I’m with Eddie that it was Steve with his foam party.

We get to see a little behind-the-scenes, and wow! it’s close quarters with the film crew there. It’s pretty amazing that we never even see them by accident. Andy asks who the blip Rocky is looking at during her individual interviews, because she  tends to look up at the sky. She says sparkling butterflies and I wouldn’t be surprised. Eddie says something innocuous, and Rocky asks if his girlfriend is there, like the nasty brat she is.

Amy gets it right in saying that Kate is no-nonsense, wants to get the job done, and on a charter there’s no time for fooling around. Rocky whines about how underappreciated she was, but Captain Lee says she’s not giving an accurate depiction of how she was treated. He says she didn’t set her personal sh*t aside. Even Andy says she was a big complainer. Kate says she had no experience when she said she did. Kate says she’d prefer not having her professional and personal character slandered when all she wants is to get her job done.

Andy says Connie flourished while Rocky floundered. Eddie says he and Kate’s styles are different, but I say it’s more like Connie has a work ethic. Rocky acts offended because although Amy sympathized with her, she was still friendly to Kate. Because she’s in middle school. Rocky says she felt bullied by Kate and Kate should get a medal for hurting people’s feelings.

Andy pulls out the tweets. Kate had a lot to say about Rocky, and Rocky says she’s straight-up evil. Why is it so many people don’t understand that it’s called work for a reason?

Andy talks about Eddie’s full plate: losing two deckhands while training a new one, and dealing with his girlfriend. And of course there’s the whole Rocky debacle. He admits to letting his personal business get in the way of his work business. Connie says Eddie was a fantastic teacher and never made her feel inferior. Maybe that’s because she actually paid attention.

Andy asks Emile if it’s hard to be “pretty.” He says that he often has to work against type. I guess we’re leaving his emotional IQ out of this conversation. Andy brings up Emile calling Connie a “whore” for absolutely no reason. He says he can’t and won’t even try to justify it. Connie is a good sport though, saying she has brothers and is used to having her buttons pushed. Emile talks about coming from South Africa and the conflict there. Captain Lee pats Emile on the back for picking himself back up even when he made errors.

Andy brings up the undercooked (dare we say “raw?”) chicken that Rocky cooked for the crew. Amy says the salad was great, and the parts that were cooked were healthy and good. Andy reads a tweet from someone who says no culinary school would suggest grenadine on oysters. Rocky says she just did it to add color. Amy says she has a hard time taking instruction. Rocky says when she cooked the guests’ dinner, they loved it. We flash back to that and, no.

Amy says that Rocky was difficult, and Rocky runs down a list of complaints, including how much of an a-hole Eddie was. Kate says nobody wants to hear it and she’s talked enough. Rocky says, “You’re not my chief stew right now, baby,” and I want to smack her. I hate when people say “baby” or “honey” or whatever in a derogatory way. It’s worse when it’s a man, but I don’t like when a woman does it either.

Kate says she got tips she didn’t earn. Even though Rocky says she hated being a stew, it turns out she’s working for Captain Alex from season one (he was Captain Lee’s second in command). We’ll see how that goes. He didn’t seem like an idiot.

We move on to how Emile eats like a Neanderthal. Andy says he’s a lesson on how not to get a date – drink excessively, say mildly creepy things, creep out your date so much she has to dive overboard. Ha-ha! Rocky says she was never serious about him. Andy asks if Rocky led him on, and Emile says yes. Of course it’s yes. We all saw it. Rocky apologizes and says she’s glad they can still be friends, adding insult to injury. They talk about the kiss off letter Rocky publicly left for Emile because she couldn’t end things like an adult, and she acts like it was the only option. Captain Lee interjects that she led Emile on and needs to own it. He says, “When you get caught with your tit in the wringer, guess what? You put it there,” and I fall off my chair. I love the captain’s witticisms and this one is a classic.

Don the Engineer comes out. He says usually how it works is that you’re an engineer first and deckhand second. Connie says no matter how specific the instructions, he wanted to do it his way, and that’s not how it works on charter. Even Emile sounds more mature than Don. Andy asks why he would jeopardize his job by following Rocky into the water, and he has no sensible answer. They move on to his leaving mid-charter.

Andy says Don’s replacement, Dane, was invited, but has cut off all communication. I guess his 15 minutes wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Andy asks when Captain Lee realized Dane was a problem. The captain recalls him driving the jet ski into side of boat, drinking half a bottle of Jack on his break, and says there was an endless list. Andy asks how close Eddie and Dane were to coming to blows. Eddie says that the night of the beach party, it was late and the owners were leaving. They were gracious enough to tell them to continue to drink, but write it down on the bill. Dane took it as free reign to go crazy.

To his credit, Don apologizes to the captain and the entire crew for leaving them in the lurch. Exit Don.

Emile looks like he’s going to fall asleep. A stagehand brings him something in a can. Probably either Red Bull or or one of those cheap vodka drinks.

They talk about the battle between Kate and Chef Leon. We get some flashbacks of his idiocy. Kate says she’s never had such a toxic relationship with a co-worker. Andy says she can be a snob about being a yachtee. I don’t think she started out that way with him though and it is a certain way of working. Chef Leon also declined to come to the reunion. Rocky is still in contact with him, and says that when he left, he was done. She starts tearing up for some stupid reason and acts like he was treated unfairly because he was criticized behind his back. Amy says Rocky did her share and we see that. They forget all this stuff is on film, and think we have short term memory loss. Kate says his cooking was repetitive and he was a one-trick pony wit hthe beef cheeks, but the real problem is that he couldn’t go with the flow and he lacked skill. Emile says he talks to him too. He’s working on a yacht and it was just the wrong boat for him. This could be true. I had a musical comedy class like that. I took it nearly three times before I realized it just wasn’t a good fit. Eddie says he didn’t seem to care and could have been more passionate and respectful. He did not come off well in some of his individual interviews either. In one, he said he liked to make the girls working for him in the kitchen cry. Rocky acts like he never sad that and it was completely due to editing. Captain Lee says no one told him what to say. He points out a few other nasty things Leon did and said, and calls Rocky out. Go, Captain Lee!

They discuss the fire. Rocky again says it was the fault of the empty pans being in the oven. Once again, Captain Lee interjects, saying it was the skuzzy oven, and that Rocky had even mentioned how filthy it was the day before. He says it was also Leon’s responsibility not to be napping when the guests wanted food. Rocky says she saw a mug nearby with wine in it. I know where she’s going with this and she is such a freaking snot rag.

Rocky says she told Eddie that Kate had been drinking from the mug and Eddie poured it out saying, we take care of our own. Andy asks Kate if she was drinking. Kate says she’d been making popcorn for the guests, and when she went back downstairs, the place was on fire. She also says it

Next : Eddie did it again with Rocky after the show???! What is wrong with him?

Quotes of the Week from The People’s Couch

Because I can’t pick just one.

I’m getting dumber just witnessing it. Brandy, referring to Eddie and Rocky from Below Deck, talking about who initiated their hook up.

I wanna be with them when the damn zombie apocalypse jump off. That’s who you want to be with. Mr. Zeno referring the The Alaskan Bush People.

I’m not going to limit my life to this little rectangle. Teddi, referring to her tablet.