Tag Archives: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Sep19

September 18, 2016 – NJ’s Teresa Confronts Her Cousins & FTD’s Strand Confronts a Knife

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Rosie, Jacqueline and Siggy meet for drinks. Jacqueline talks about Kathy and Rosie surprising Teresa at her book signing. Rosie wants Teresa back in their lives (whether Teresa wants it or not) and was hoping to make a lunch date. Siggy thinks it’s sad that they’re estranged and has high hopes for a reconciliation. Higher hopes than I do, since I basically have none. In her interview, Jacqueline says Teresa is mad at Kathy for things she’s said herself. We flash back to Rosie’s interruption of the last Wives reunion that Teresa attended. Rosie says Teresa didn’t act like she hated her, but she wanted more than that. Siggy says family is worth fighting for. Um…that depends on the family.

Melissa takes Joe #2 go for a Botox treatment. She tells him it will help his migraines and he says he has migraines from stuff like what happened at the book signing. He says family is supposed to pick you up when you’re going down, not agree with the one who’s pushing you down. The doctor comes in and Joe expresses his fear of needles. Melissa takes a picture as he gets his treatment. He suggests a gin chaser.

Ashlee is going with Pete to check out apartments. Pete suggests checking out Hoboken first. I was going to wrinkle my nose until I saw the view. I’m moving tomorrow. They go to an observation area and Pete asks her to marry him. Geez, no fanfare, no warning, no nothing. In her interview, Ashlee recalls dreaming about this moment as a little girl. This is the kind of moment she dreamt of? They nix looking at apartments, and decide to go home to give the family the big announcement. The ring gets my stamp of approval.

Ashlee asks Jacqueline if this dress makes her look fat and then asks if this ring makes her look engaged. Okay, that was kind of cute. Brother CJ and Chris join them. In his interview, Chris says, “She’s all yours, Pete – good luck.” Ha-ha! Champagne is brought out and they all have a toast.

What is up with the windows on Siggy’s house? There’s a huge blank space on the second floor. Jacqueline calls Siggy to tell her about the engagement. She also sends out a group text.

Teresa and Melissa are out for a walk. They discuss Joe #1‘s upcoming trip to camp. The conclusion is that women are stronger than men. Teresa says Joe isn’t taking it all that well, although he keeps saying he’s good. Teresa thinks it will be a plus for Joe to detox. In her interview, Melissa talks about how the men in the family put up a strong front. She feels that Teresa got more in touch with her feelings when she was away and they’re the closest they’ve been.

Siggy comes by Melissa’s place to pick up some jeans and have champagne. There must have been a sale. Teresa is going to join them, and they talk about how exhausted she seems. Melissa says she doesn’t think everything has hit her yet, but every time they talk, more trust is established. Melissa wants to take a group trip to Vermont before Joe #1 leaves and Teresa won’t be able to get away.

Teresa arrives and Melissa presents her idea. She says it will be the girls and Joe #2, but only if Chris will come, because he doesn’t want to be the only guy. Joe #1 isn’t allowed out of the state. After some gentle persuasion, Teresa agrees. Glasses clink.

Dolores is working at the gym. Jacqueline shows up with a Quarter Pounder, with cheese no less. Dolores tells Jacqueline about her idea to empower women and have a ladies weekend at the gym. Jacqueline checks out the equipment. They talk about Ashlee’s engagement. Jacqueline is glad Ashlee and Pete are taking their time, since her own wedding was a backyard affair and she Ashlee will have time to plan.

Jacqueline, Siggy and Teresa meet for drinks. Siggy tells Teresa about how upset Rosie was and how she wants to have lunch with Teresa. Teresa says now her father is involved, since Kathy called him a coward at the reunion. I’m guessing she doesn’t mean a hands-on kind of involvement, just that Kathy dragged his name into it. Jacqueline says that Kathy feels that Teresa started it, since she said something first about Kathy’s parents. Teresa brings up how Kathy and her aunt discussed Teresa’s culpability in going to prison and we flash back to that. In her interview, Teresa says they haven’t treated her well and it’s really none of Siggy’s business. I have to agree here. Even I’m feeling the strain. Teresa tells the girls that she isn’t ready for a relationship with her cousins, and wants to concentrate on her immediate family. Siggy tries to pressure her about the lunch and Teresa says she’ll think about it. She leaves to pick the girls up from school. Siggy tells Jacqueline this is deep, so they need to have hope.

Jacqueline and Siggy go to Kathy’s for lunch. Siggy tells them about meeting with Teresa and brings up what Kathy said about Teresa’s father. Kathy immediately gets excited and talks about how Teresa said things about her family, but at the end of the reunion said she forgave Kathy. Melissa and Joe join the crowd. Siggy starts crying. She’s upset about the whole lunch thing, since she doesn’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Joe #2 says Teresa can’t forget right now and Melissa doesn’t want to get in the middle. Rich talks nonsense about what a happily married couple he and Kathy are, and that Teresa is jealous about that. Joe gets mighty pissed. He says they all know what Rich just did and it’s got to stop. Rich acts ignorant. Joe says something in Italian, which translates to, the tongue doesn’t have bones but can break bones. Rosie gets crazy, saying they all say whatever they want and it all falls on her sister and she won’t have it anymore. Rich says if Joe thinks he’s adding to the fire, he apologizes. To his credit, he says he’ll step back and stay out of it. In his interview, Joe says Teresa needs time to trust them. Finally everyone calms the hell down.

Joe #2 meets Teresa at the gym. He tells her about Kathy and Rich. Teresa says that she’s tired of hearing about it. She says she doens’t like Richie’s company and Joe blabs about what Richie said and how he intimated that Teresa and Joe don’t have love. She says this is exactly the kind of thing she doesn’t want in her life. Joe suggests she have lunch with the girls. She brings up their father being called a coward. He says until she tells them get lost, they’re not going away. Joe offers to come along and she says she’ll do it. That was really nice of him.

Rosie and Kathy show up early for the lunch. Kathy tells Rosie that she doesn’t want to dwell in the past. She says that their parents getting older puts things in perspective. In her interview, Rosie says despite what’s happened in the past few years, she loves the Giudices. She tells Kathy she wants to make her mother proud. Rosie gets all teary and lunch hasn’t even started yet.

In the car, Teresa explains to Joe #2 that she doesn’t enjoy Rosie and Kathy’s company and Joe says he wants them to hear it from her, so they let go. Teresa tells Joe that it breaks her heart that it trickled down to the parents.

Joe #2 and Teresa arrive. Teresa says she feels badly dragging Joe into the lunch. Kathy says she just wants to be a family again. Teresa says they’ll always be family, but she just wants to be left alone. She says Rich always has something negative to say and he’s a big part of the problem. Teresa asks if he has any feeling. A waiter brings menus and Teresa says they’re not eating. Oh, snap!

Teresa says she didn’t even get a card from them the whole time she was away. Kathy says Teresa also shut everyone out, but Teresa disagrees. She tells them she feels like now that she’s in the public eye again, they’re interested in her, and she wants to be around people who were there for her during the bad times. She says there’s been a lot of turmoil and she wants to cut the cancer out. Kathy says they’re not cancer, and Rosie asks if she’s saying she never wants to be a family again. No. She’s saying get off her back right now because you two are way past desperate and she just freakin’ got out of prison.

Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks if they can respect that. Rosie says she doesn’t want to beg. But you are, Blanche! You are! Teresa says she wishes them the best. Joe #2 wakes up and astutely observes that time mends all. Kathy says they’ve opened the door, so if they need anything, they’re here for each other. Teresa says her door is open if they ever need anything. Teresa and Joe leave. In her interview, Teresa says she’s glad there’s closure. She says she reached her breaking point, she’s had enough, and she’s done. She starts to cry on the way to the car, and does that fanning motion with her hand to dry the tears. She tells Joe its exhausting and he says it’s sad.

Next time, the Vermont trip happens. Melissa and Jacqueline argue, and some woman gets involved who I don’t recognize.

Fear the Walking Dead

Francisco, his wife Ana and little girl sneak around Colonia. They head toward the bus exit. The little girl is scared, and Francisco tells her to be calm and quiet. They go through the bus. Ana tells the girl not to look, and Francisco drags a zombie in and guts him. They put the blood on themselves and walk through the zombie horde. Nice crane shot.

The family goes to the outside. Francisco says they should be at another settlement by dark. They hear a truck and hide. Too late. They’ve been seen. Gang leader Marco asks if he knows them. Francisco says he doesn’t think so. Marco continues to question him. He talks to the little girl and Francisco gives him his backpack and asks him to leave them alone. Marco takes out a canteen and pours water over Francisco’s face. He knows Francisco is from Colonia and asks where the Oxy is. Francisco says they left it in Colonia, but Marco doesn’t believe him.

Ofelia is driving around who knows where. She kicks in the door to a restaurant and gives a zombie a hammer to the head. She makes noise to see if there are any others. She looks at the ocean view. She flashes back to when she was there another time with her boyfriend who’s telling her he’s taking a job in Santa Fe. He wants her to come with him and gives her a drink with a ring in it. She says New Mexico is so far, but he says her parents will be fine. He says he’ll talk to her dad and ask for her hand. She says she’s going to talk to her mother. They kiss.

Back to the present. Ofelia peruses a map and fills a gas can.

At the hotel, Madison, Victor and company get things going, putting on the electricity and fishing for food. Hector teaches Alicia some surfing moves and she talks about her brother. Hector asks where he is now, but she says she doesn’t know. She says he’s out there somewhere. She misses who he was, but maybe not who he is now. Hector says his brother is gone. Madison brings them ice water and tells them the generator is working.

Luci and Nick are in bed. There’s a knock at Luci’s door. A guy says Francisco is gone and he took his family. Luci is surprised that he’d desert them. Nick says he’ll help with the search.

Victor, Alicia, Madison and Elena are having some coffee – which must taste really good – in one of the hotel rooms. There’s a knock at the door. Victor answers and gets knifed for his trouble. It’s the mother-of-the-bride, Ilene. I gasp and say wtf? She babbles something about her daughter and leaves. Worst. Room. Service. Ever.

The ladies tend to Victor. One of the guests, Andres, says he had a year of medical training and Elena has Alicia get the first aid kit. Andres makes excuses for Ilene, but Victor says her grief is a little extreme. No vital organs have been hit, but they still don’t have what they need. Elena, Madison and Oscar decide to make a trip to Marco’s gang supermarket.

Luci tells Alejandro about Francisco leaving. He asks if she knew, but she says no. Alejandro says he’s a coward. Luci thinks Alejandro should speak to the people, and he tells her to gather their inner circle.

Victor tells Madison to keep the drinks coming. He thinks Ilene should be exiled, but Madison says she should be locked up indefinitely. It’s either that or the street. She says they can’t have violence and if anyone raises a hand to another, they’re out. She says it’s the only way this can work.

Alejandro makes a speech about how what lies beyond the wall is worse than death, a wasteland, the end. He says death will not take them if they stick together and have faith. He asks them to stand with him, and says they’re more together than apart. Nick looks unconvinced and asks Luci if Alejandro is okay. After the meeting, Luci tells Alejandro that they’re going out. He asks if she spoke to the scouts and she says not yet. He asks if she wants to follow Francisco. She says this is her home and her people and she wants to serve. He says to speak to the scouts then. Nick says if they don’t deliver the Oxy, the gang will come looking for them. Alejandro says they stay until he says differently. Yes, boss.

Madison tells Alicia and Andres to keep an eye on Victor. She says they’ll be back in two hours. She, Elena and Oscar leave in a truck. Madison asks what Elena and Hector were arguing about. Elena was hoping she could get his brother to come home. She says Antonio chose to stay with the gang and Hector won’t forgive him for it.

Nick asks Luci if she’s okay. She’s upset about what Alejandro said, but Nick says he’s just scared because the natives are getting restless. He tells her they have to get the people their meds. She says Alejandro has always known what he’s doing. Nick says the gang could come looking for them, but she says they stay, because she’s really stupid.

Elena, Madison and Oscar go to the gang supermarket. Elena asks for Antonio. Madison and Oscar set down a cooler. The guard says they can come in, but not the guy who’s with them, only Madison and Elena.

Nick visits Alejandro, who asks if Luci is all right. Nick says she will be, and Alejandro says she’s never questioned him before. Nick says if they don’t make the trade, he thinks the gang will come looking for them. He says the danger is now and real and out there. Alejandro gets testy about them not having faith. He says he never asked to be the one to make the decisions. Nick is like, so I should just follow you blindly? Alejandro says to trust him and says he trusts Nick. Apparently, not that much.

Elena sees Antonio and he tells her she shouldn’t have brought the Americano with her. He looks in the cooler and asks if they can get more fish. Elena tells him his brother asked about him. In the meantime, Francisco is upstairs, getting shaken down in Spanish. Madison asks Elena if they’re the ones being discussed, but Elena says he’s talking about a place called Colonia. As the questioning goes on, Elena translates and Madison realizes they’re talking about Nick. She starts to move toward the stairs and Elena is like, don’t do this.

Madison gets involved and asks if they’re talking about Nick. Elena tells her they walk away now or be killed. Antonio tells Elena to get out and don’t come back. Elena tries to get him to ditch the gang, but he says they won’t be there much longer.

Nick asks one of the scouts, Renaldo, to make the trade with him. He says they need water and Alejandro isn’t a rainmaker. Renaldo says Americans always want to fix someone else’s problems, but Nick says he just gives a sh*t. Renaldo tells him they’ll meet later.

Luci tells Nick that the people need reassurance. Instead of giving into fear, the people need to bring their concerns to Alejandro’s inner circle. Nick asks her to join him inside for a drink, but I think he means something else.

Andres tells Victor that his heart doesn’t have enough blood to pump to all the organs. Victor asks if he should write his will, but Andres says Madison will be back soon. Alicia takes over putting pressure on the wound. Victor tells Alicia she has a better bedside manner than Andres. She says she’s not going to tell him it’s going to be all right because it might not be, and he laughs, which is probably a bad idea. He says he changed his mind; her bedside manner is abysmal. They agree on not liking sugarcoating. He asks what she meant when she said she’d raised herself. She says Madison was busy with Nick and his drug addiction, and her father. He says she has Madison all to herself now, but Alicia says she didn’t want it like this, and she isn’t sure Madison sees her. Victor says make her then.

Nick looks down at the zombie wall. Marco is looking back through binoculars. It’s hard to tell if Nick sees him or he just happens to be looking that way.

Ofelia consults the map. She looks at her rosary and flashes back to being with her mother. They talk about their weekend. Ofelia says her father seems unhappy whether business is good or bad. Griselda says God whispered to her about this man and that he’s a hard man. She’s says she’s a hard woman, and they survived together and came there for Ofelia. She tells Ofelia she couldn’t imagine what they saw, the violence and the blood. They didn’t want that life for her. Griselda says that Ofelia’s father still has nightmares. They didn’t want her to live in fear and would have done anything for her, like Griselda would do anything for Ofelia’s father, because that’s love. Ofelia takes her mother’s hand.

Ofelia kisses the crucifix of her rosary and says she understands now. She starts the car and heads for the US.

When Madison and company return, Elena tells Alicia about Madison’s tangle with the gang. The neon light with the name of the hotel goes on, and Alicia tells Madison she’s inviting in the same people that they want to stay away. She says Madison risked everything for a rumor about someone who may or may not be Nick. Madison says she knows it’s Nick. Alicia doesn’t get it; Nick chose what’s out there over them. Madison says maybe he changed his mind. Alicia says she never changed hers and she’s there. Why isn’t that enough?

The hotel light is extinguished, but not before Travis sees it.

Next time, Travis is digging graves, Madison apologizes, Travis wants to make a break for it – Chris not so much, and Madison insists Nick is out there.

Sep12

September 11, 2016 – NJ Teresa Gets a Surprise at Her Book Signing & the Feared Dead Get a Surprise Plunge

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

We’ve already established that Joe #1 is getting mighty cranky the closer it gets to his time in the clink. Siggy says tradition is the glue that keeps the family together. She tries to educate her daughter in family history, but I think Sophie is more engaged with her phone. Son Joshua comes home and thinks he should get a car since he passed whatever grade he’s in. Siggy says all she had was a Smurf collection when she was young.

Dolores and Frank argue over the rules for their son. Frankie comes in and Dolores whines that he’s never home. He says since they don’t have a kitchen due to renovations, he’s been eating out with his friends a lot. Dolores wants Frankie to understand that he should be her shadow. Oddly enough, her son totally understands, but also stands his ground for a certain amount of freedom.

Teresa’s lawyer, Jim, comes over. Joe #1 is going to be in Freehold? That’s not far from me. They have a great mall. Jim tells Joe he has a tendency to be nice (!) and let the wrong people around him. I think this is a kinder, gentler way of him telling Joe that he’s an idiot for trying to let that felon into Teresa’s book party.

Joe #2 futilely tries to take care of his children. Melissa arrives home and he takes her to the movie theater. The one in their home. He tells her that he lost a big deal because he couldn’t make an auction, since he had to take care of the kids. She asks him why he didn’t call her and that she would have made other arrangements. She tells him welcome to the millennium and accuses him of being old school. She thanks him for manning up for his wife. He acts like she dropped out of a tree when they met, but she corrects this misconception. He tells her she brings in crumbs and he brings in the cake. The audience goes, doood! or at least I do. In her interview, she says she’ll throw the cake in his face. Go, Melissa! She says it’s not about money. She tells him he has goals and wants to feel successful, and he’s the one who taught her to work hard. She doesn’t want a guilt trip every time she walks in the door. She asks if she should hire help, but he doesn’t like that idea. She asks if they can drop it now so she can go see her kids. She’s done with this conversation.

Teresa and the two younger girls visit Jacqueline. Jacqueline wants the girls to be comfortable at her house again, since it’s been a while. Milania talks about a classmate who has autism like Jacqueline’s son. In her interview, Teresa says Milania takes after Joe #1 – she likes to act out, but inside she’s a softie. While the kids play, Jacqueline and Teresa have coffee. They talk about Nick’s autism and Jacqueline says they don’t know yet how functional he’ll be. The two of them hug it out yet again. We flash back to the ruckus Jacqueline caused when they last came to dinner.

Siggy visits Melissa, who complains about Joe #2 not liking her having a job. She says she’s not going to sit around eating bon-bons. In her interview, Melissa says that she would never let her professional life compromise her family life. Siggy says that a marriage is like a car, you have to put gas in it for it to move, but at the end of the day, Joe will wear the apron. Alrighty then,

Dolores joins the Wakiles for dinner, along with Rosie. Dolores talks about Teresa’s book party and Kathy tells her they weren’t invited. Rosie says they’ve barely seen Teresa since she got back. Kathy says she sent a text, but never received a reply. Kathy is concerned about her daughter, whose brain tumor is causing problems again, and she says that life is too short. She says true redemption is making peace and Teresa needs to put her namaste where her mouth is. In her interview, Dolores says that Italian family arguments are like a war. Rosie suggests they just show up for a book signing. Hmm… Probably not a good idea.

Teresa drags Joe #1 to a yoga massage. She says Joe is stressed, which is an under-statement, and she wants him to relax. She asks Joe what he’s told the girls. He says they’re not stupid and they’ve already been through it with Teresa. Teresa says she told them she was going to work to write a book. Joe says even Audriana knows where she was. Teresa says she’s not a bad person and the kids think bad people are in prison and she did write a book. Joe is like come on, they know. This is one of the moments that I think proves my point that Teresa was not smart enough to know what papers she was signing. I really do believe her about that one.

Dolores finally gets to the gym, and partner Maz isn’t thrilled that she hasn’t been showing up. She tells him about her dog dying and says she’ll be more dependable from now on. He says he can’t work this way and she’s letting a million dollar operation slide. In her interview, she says her fear and her comfort zone are holding her back. She tells Maz she’s going to prove herself. He wants specific advertising ideas to appeal to females. She wants to do a Saturday night ladies’ night and he suggests a weekend pass. She says she’s been there where you don’t think you deserve an hour to yourself and that’s her angle.

Melissa is making Sunday dinner for the family, including her sister and her family, and their mom. She thinks Joe #2 is missing pasta and having kids running around. She explains to her mom that things are different now and women want more. Her mom says it will work out with Joe. In his interview, Joe thanks Jesus. He says there hasn’t been a home cooked meal in months, but I’m thinking he’s exaggerating. In her interview, Melissa says everything she does is for her kids and husband, and she wants to be successful for her family.

Joe #2 insists he’s not old school, but he wants his wife at home. Melissa cuts that conversation short. The dinner looks wonderful and reminds me of Sunday dinners at my Aunt Agnes’s when I was a kid. We weren’t Italian, but my father’s sister married an Italian man who once bootlegged booze for the Mafia while she watched out for the Feds on the back of the truck. She could also cook, and the spread was amazing, everything from spaghetti and meatballs to kielbasa and sauerkraut, a staple of our side of the family’s Lithuanian heritage. Melissa asks someone to say grace and of course there’s always that one person who goes, “Grace!” The last time I heard that, I fell off my dinosaur.

Joe #1 compliments Teresa on the way to her book signing. She thanks him for coming along and he says this will be the last one before he leaves and after that, she’s on her own. She’s not ready to think about all that yet though.

Siggy’s ex-husband meets with her for a dinner out, celebrating Josh’s birthday. They got along so well as exes, she played matchmaker and he’s brought along his new wife and toddler. Siggy complains about how fast the kids grow and how Josh wants to be around anyone but her now. His father interjects that Josh has been complaining about privacy invasion, but it’s obvious they all care about each other and everyone gets teary and sappy.

Dolores is riding with Jacqueline and Chris to the book signing and tells Jacqueline about how Kathy feels. Jacqueline says that Teresa isn’t ready for whatever right now, and Dolores says she’d better be, because Kathy and Rosie are coming to the signing. As they pull up to Barnes and Noble, Chris says at least the police are there in case there are any problems. I think he’s joking. I think.

The book signing is pretty crowded. Lots of picture taking. Melissa and Joe buy books for Teresa to sign. In her interview, Melissa says she and Teresa have kept their word to be sisters. The two Joes chit-chat. Joe #2 asks Joe #1 if he’s ready. Joe #1 says he looks at it like he’s going to the military, which is a pretty good viewpoint. In his interview, Joe #2 commends him for not being a cry baby.

Josh is presented with the car of his dreams after dinner. He drives off, never to be seen again.

Jacqueline and Dolores arrive at the book signing. So do Kathy and Rosie, practically on their heels. I have to interject how wrong this is here. I don’t care if they’re family. I don’t care if they were close at one time. Let this woman get her bearings and for God’s sake, don’t descend on her in a public place. Teresa greets them all friendly, surprising us all. Kathy asks if she got the text, and Teresa acts surprised that she wouldn’t have texted back, saying some nonsense about her old phone and her new phone. In her interview, Rosie says that she thinks that’s a bullsh*t excuse, but she wants things to start fresh. She asks Teresa if the three of them can have lunch. Mic drop.

Teresa explains that her rime is precious. In her interview she says that they weren’t too nice when she went off to prison and said some mean things about her. Rosie acts desperate, saying what about just an hour, but again, I’m on Teresa’s side here. If right now, she wants to spend that hour with her kids while her husband is off at the pokey, that’s her business. Rosie says she wants them to be close again and Teresa says she’ll always be there for her. Kathy says why not lunch then? Rosie realizes how rudely they’re holding up the line and Teresa makes an apology to the hundred people standing there waiting. Rosie speaks with Joe #1 saying she misses him. She apologizes for what she’d said about them. Joe #1 tattles to Teresa about Rosie and what she’d said on New Year’s Eve. Rosie kvetches to Joe #2 about how they’re cousins and shouldn’t be distant.

Next time, Ashlee gets her proposal, Jacqueline and Teresa argue, Kathy’s husband and Joe #2 argue, and the cousin thing comes to a head.

Fear the Walking Dead

We’re back in the bar with Victor and Madison surrounded by zombies. Victor is going to town stabbing them, and Madison suddenly hears Alicia and stabs some other zombies. There isn’t much to work with weapon wise – a crowbar and broken bottles. Madison finds a cubbyhole where she and Victor drench themselves in zombie blood. Remember this trick if the apocalypse ever happens.

They walk out among the zombies, slowly stepping through the bar. She and Victor are able to separate themselves from the horde and get out the door. The truck is gone. Victor thinks the girls took it, but Madison says she just heard Alicia. They climb up onto a balcony while the horde wanders around below. They go back into the hotel.

Wherever they are, it’s pretty quiet. They rest on a staircase. Victor says Alicia is fine, but Madison says he doesn’t know that, and wonders why Alicia left. Victor says to survive. He gives Madison some water and says a tequila hangover can’t be helping. Wouldn’t they still be drunk? She hears Alicia again. They run back upstairs and let Alicia and the others in. Where we came in before.

Nick walks through Colonia to the infirmary, He goes upstairs to talk to Alejandro. He asks Alejandro if he has any compound. He tells Alejandro about what a buddy used to do when he was running low on funds and proceeds to cut the painkillers with powdered milk. Alejandro is concerned the people will know, but Nick says Alejandro is a pharmacist and he’s a junkie, so trust him. We watch Breaking Bad for a second and Alejandro says this will only get them so far.

Madison thinks thy should go after Ofelia. Victor says to focus on the here and now. Alicia says Ofelia chose to go because she thought they wouldn’t make it. Madison says they will make it. Elena talks about supplies and says the people left in the hotel still want her dead.

Madison and Victor stand outside. Madison calls for Oscar. She says there’s work to be done, nobody is leaving, so they might as well work together. Dude says drop their weapons. The do and go inside.

Nick works hard at cutting the drugs. Alejandro tells him to take a break. Nick asks what happened. He tells him Luci only told him that Alejandro was bitten, didn’t turn and that she had faith. He says he doesn’t believe in miracles. Alejandro says he calls it a leap of faith.

Oscar tells Madison about how they got trapped and how they’ve been rationing. Madison says the hotel has everything and explains how they can make the hotel into a home. Oscar says if they help, “that woman” can’t stay (and he didn’t have sex with her either). Madison says Elena did what she thought was right. The mother-of-the-bride says Elena killed her daughter, Madison says the sickness killed her. Madison says the next group who finds this place, and someone will, might not be so nice. They’re clearing out the dead and blockading the place and it would be easier with help. Oscar gives her the keys.

Madison and Victor talk on the way back. Madison is concerned about winning over the mother. Victor says her grief is driving her. He tells Madison that he’ll secure the place, but it’s not home. He had a home.

Nick tests the drugs and says it’s all good. Alejandro talks about how a boy stole from him. He doesn’t know what drug the boy took, but he was mistaken for a zombie and put in with them. He says he tried to save him, but was bitten, and Luci found him and brought him back. They waited for death to come, but it didn’t. Nick asks what happened to the boy and Alejandro says, zombie. Alejandro asks him to be brave, but careful. Nick thanks him for caring. They watch some kids play soccer with Luci and Nick joins in.

A bloody guy runs up to Alejandro and says “he’s in pieces.” Nick asks Luci what’s wrong and she says they found Pablo. Luci tells Nick that Pablo was her brother. She says Pablo looked for their mother after the apocalypse and helped her deal with it when their mother became one of the dead.

Hector suggests they leave zombies behind locked doors. Alicia says if one gets out, they have to start over and they need to clean sweep the place. Alicia goes outside and talks to Madison. She says at the rate they’re going, it will take weeks to clean the place up. Madison says they don’t have weeks. Madison apologizes for all her faults as a mother and Alicia starts walking into the water. Madison calls to her, and Alicia says they don’t have to kill the zombies and points to a sign that says no swimming – riptides. Well, yeah, that might sweep them out temporarily, but they’ll be washing up somewhere.

Alejandro gives Nick a cute little house, saying he needs the bed in the infirmary. Nick says he doesn’t need all this, but Alejandro says that it’s a gift for the time Nick bought them.

Madison tells everyone the plan for leading the zombies into the sea. Alicia doesn’t like how Madison is putting herself out there, but Madison says she needs her in the boat. Alicia tells her about how she saw the look-alike zombie and how she’s afraid of losing her mother, but Madison says Alicia isn’t going to lose her.

Hector and Alicia lead the zombies out of the hotel. Elena and Victor prop doors open inside, so the ones in there can get through. Madison give us more cowbell, luring the zombies by banging on a metal plate. She, Victor an Elena meet. Hector and Alicia separate, Alicia telling Hector to make sure he’s there for her. Madison cowbells the zombies out onto a long dock.

Oscar closes and locks the hotel. Alicia locks the side gate. We see quite a load of zombies shuffling along the boardwalk out to sea. The mother-of-the-bride looks on with disdain from the hotel. Alicia and company get an inflatable lifeboat ready. She and Hector take it out.

The zombies are getting pretty close to Madion, but the waves are kepeing the boat from getting close enough. Madison keeps looking over and wondering where the blip it is as she continues to cowbell. Alicia calls to her. She jumps off the side into the water. It’s a pretty long leap, about 40 feet.

Cool! Zombies following her like lemmings.

There’s a knock at Nick’s door. It’s Luci, saying she’s too tired to sleep. That’s a new one. He’s been reading a Spanish dictionary so he can talk to someone besides Alejandro. He says he wishes he’d taken it in school like his sister. Luci seems surprised he had a family and asks if she’s alive. Nick says he thinks so, as well as his mother, but his father died before zombieworld happened.

The crew at the hotel sit down for dinner. Oscar says his brother couldn’t handle it and is lying down, and Madison says he’ll come around. Alone, Victor goes to one of the rooms. The brother is in front of it. His wife is inside. He was the groom at the wedding. He talks about their courtship an says he won’t let Victor do anything to her. Victor says it’s not his wife anymore. He says the guy will never be the same, but one morning he’ll start thinking like someone new, the person who comes after. He asks what her name is. The groom tells him Jessica. Victor asks to let him help Jessica. The’re both shedding tears and it’s all poignant.

Luci opens her eyes and says she’s sorry she fell asleep. Nick says Alejandro claims she tests people, and she’s testing him? She kisses him. Is that part of the test?

The groom gives Victor the key to the room. Victor opens the door. There are zombie sounds inside. The door closes.

Next time, Nick says danger is coming (I don’t think you have to be a psychic to figure that out), Madison makes some rules, and Nick and Luci get it on.

Sep6

September 5, 2016 – A Lot of Housewives & a Little Z-Nation

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

My excitement can barely be contained – less than two weeks from now, on September 16, Z-Nation returns! If I was forced to pick only one show to feast on, this would be the one. (With maybe a side order of General Hospital.) While I enjoy both Walking Dead programs, Z-Nation has the sense of humor I love with my horror. For lack of a better word, I also think it’s more realistic and feel more investment in the more well-rounded characters. Chances are, the group you’d be running with during the apocalypse wouldn’t all be depressed and/or depressing. There would always be a Murphy or a Doc who didn’t always take everything so seriously. And it’s still just as relentless in excitement. Lots of fun guest stars too, like Anthony Michael Hall and Gina Gershon, both of whom were wonderful. I also have to admit to a TV crush on Citizen Z and Pup. (I recently discovered that DJ Qualls was originally a model for Prada. While I think he’s cute, I was like, whaaat?) The Sy-we-don’t-know-how-to-spell-Fy network had/has a marathon going on today and will probably have another one before the season premiere, so if you have love for the zombie apocalypse and haven’t seen it yet, give it a try.

No GH for us today. Since it’s a holiday, it was also a rerun. Moving on…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is planning some dune buggy riding during Eddie’s birthday event in Glamis and she’s buying helmets for all the ladies. She calls to see if Meghan is going, but that’s a no due to her pregnancy. Tamra thinks Meghan is being a coward, saying pregnant women run marathons, but I’m with Meghan on this one. Bouncing around in a dune buggy is not the same thing and she’s gone through a lot with the IVF. Tamra says Shannon is acting like she didn’t even get an invite, and she has the feeling Shannon wants to avoid Kelly. She calls Shannon next, telling her about Heather renting an RV. As soon as Tamra tells her who’s coming, suddenly Shannon remembers she has some lung issue where she has to avoid dirt or something. Geez, at least make an effort to create a good story.

Kelly does some shopping for the trip. Her only concern is Heather pointing a judgmental finger at her. She tells her husband about Shannon’s vow renewal and how Vicki wasn’t invited, which she thinks was mean. They look at windbreakers, and Michael makes a typical male joke about breaking wind.

Shannon’s house is finally in escrow, She says it’s been in and out several times, but this time it looks like a go. She’s thinking she won’t be able to pack in the thirteen days before closing. She asks the realtor about more time, but he says that’s not a good idea. I fail to grasp why she hasn’t gotten going on this already. They also have to find a rental, so she gives the realtor her laundry list of wants, which is a lot. Oh no! The rental won’t have crystals buried beneath it like her house does now. How will she survive?

Heather says all she knows about Glamis is that there’s lots of sand and no stores. Horrors! She meets with the RV driver. She was expecting the RV to be like Tom Cruise‘s movie trailer and is disappointed even though it’s got the look of a nice hotel suite. Heather also doesn’t cook, so she’s had her personal chef prepare some dishes. I liked Heather at the beginning, but she’s been working my last nerve this season.

Meghan and Jim have a doctor’s appointment to see if she’s pregnant. She’s glad he’s with her, since he’s been MIA throughout all of the IVF stuff. She says she’s scared to be a mom because she’s Jim’s third wife, and even though he had children with the other two, things didn’t work out. I’m not sure what she’s saying here. That Jim leaves as soon as children are in the picture? I’m laughing because Jim is one of the most emotionless people I’ve ever seen. “Hey, Jim! The house just burned down.” Jim looks at the sky and picks his nose.

The RV picks up Tamra and Kelly. Even though the RV isn’t up to Heather’s expectations, Tamra is impressed, saying she wouldn’t expect anything else from “Fancy Pants.” She’s also concerned about Kelly, who she says is like a rescue dog, who you don’t know whether will lick or bite you. Next, they pick up Vicki.

While on the RV, Kelly suddenly gets nauseous. Vicki has to hold her ears when Kelly throws up, since she’s susceptible to anyone else getting ill. What is wrong with this bunch of wimps? This is the last group who should go camping, or do anything other than stay at a 5-star hotel up to Dubai’s standards. Kelly calls her husband to give him the deets. The driver misses a sign and has to turn around. Tamra thinks Heather should have spent more money on the driver than the vehicle. The ladies sing Kumbaya. This is starting to remind me of the time I took a bus trip through New England with my grandmother and her senior group.

Meghan gets a call from the doctor. Jim yawns and I laugh again. The pregnancy test is positive. He says they’ll do an ultrasound in two weeks. Meghan asks if it could be twins, but the doctor says it’s too early to tell. Jim can barely contain his excitement. Not really.

The camp site is already set up and Eddie is there to greet the ladies. Tamra’s mother is also there and a couple of people I don’t know. Heather introduces her son, Nicky. In her interview, Heather gushes over the place, going on about how beautiful it is and confusing me. While Heather will be staying in the RV, Tamra has rented trailers for everyone else. Vicki goes around showing her grandson, Troy, all the fabulousness via her phone. Sarah, Ryan and their baby also make an appearance. I think Sarah might have another kid there, but at this point, there’s too many kids running around and I can’t keep track of them.

Vicki goes running on the sand dunes. In her interview, Kelly says she’d join Vicki, but Principal Dubrow would probably shake a finger at her. Ha-ha! Oddly enough, it’s Tamra who tells Vicki to get off of the dunes, because there are dune buggies flying around everywhere and they’ll run right over her. Heather scrutinizes Kelly in her interview, saying she seems to be on her best behavior, but it remains to be seen if she keeps her promise. In her interview, Vicki says she’d like to be a princess like Heather, but she’ll probably be working until the day she dies. I find it a little hard to believe that Vicki needs to work until she dies unless she wants to. Or did Brooks took all her savings too?

Meghan and Jim are at their house in a gated country club community. I wonder how many houses they have. I always find the concept of having multiple homes desirable, but it’s probably not as fun as it seems. Shannon and David are meeting up with them to play golf. Because they have so much time on their hands before they move. Shannon says she doesn’t want to pack and is an avoider. An avoider previously lived in my house too. Not only did we have to agree that it not be “broom clean” as stated in the contract and let her park her RV here for two weeks to get her moved out on time, but she was still here when we moved in. You read that right. She was sitting in a folding chair in front of a closet still full of her stuff. My husband’s aunt had a summer home nearby. I told my husband I was going there and having a beer, and when I got back, she’d better be gone. She was. I also have to admit, there were some cool things left here, like a set of Gilbert & Sullivan recordings on 78 rpm albums.

Eddie teaches Nicky how to ride an ATV. Tamra suggests he ask for one for Christmas, along with a personal desert. The ladies get ready for their dune buggy adventure and we see flash backs of Tamra’s terrible driving. Kelly complains about sand in her face and having to pee. You can dress these girls up, but you can’t take them out. Tamra tells her group to hold on and drives like the Tasmanian Devil. And flips the buggy. Nice work.

Heather tells everyoen not to move and calls for the medic. Vicki gets sick and Kelly keeps yelling for the EMT. Both Vicki and Tamra have collars put on them. The dune buggy ambulance arrives. The medics ask both Vicki and Tamra questions, trying to determine their injuries. They both get put on boards and a helicopter lands. Eddie leaves with Tamra for the hospital, but the helicopter is taking Vicki to Palm Springs. She’s feeling numbness somewhere. Heather claims to be in help mode, but I swear, as hurt as I was, I’d deck her one for saying things like “you’re okay” and “you’re strong” ten thousand times. She calls Briana to let her know what’s happening, but Briana is sick and can’t go there. Kelly’s helmet came off and she says she’s lucky she didn’t get hurt. Heather brags to Terry about how helpful she was, while Kelly talks to Tamra’s mother.

Kelly realizes later that she hurt her elbow and Heather gives her some ice. Heather calls Meghan and tells her about the accident. She says that Vicki is in Palm Springs and all alone, but that’s about forty-five minutes away from them, and God forbid Meghan might be inconvenienced. After she hangs up, Meghan gets annoyed because Vicki isn’t her friend and she doesn’t want to go and felt like Heather was pressuring her. Okay, here I’m on Heather’s team. She might not consider Vicki a friend, but she’s a co-worker who is all by herself. Not a good look.

Next time, Meghan tells Shannon about the accident, the girls call Vicki in the hospital, Tamra can’t do the competition, and Meghan and Heather argue, probably politely.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Jacqueline tells Chris about how she and Teresa got along on the girls trip and it seemed like old times. Chris asks if she’s happy that the weekend turned out well. No, she wanted. to fight. Kiddingnotkidding. In his interview, Chris says she’s happy now, but as soon as somebody says something stupid, it will go back again. That ought to take about five minutes. Maybe less.

Siggy visits Dolores. Sadly, Dolores had to have her dog, Boo, euthanized because he had kidney failure. Siggy brings flowers and a present. It’s tough for me to watch because I love my dogs so much. Dolores says she doesn’t cry easily, but this is very hard on her.

Melissa is stumped over an order that comes into the store. Her manager, Derek, thinks he and Jackie placed it. (He doesn’t know?) Melissa calls Jackie and tells her that she wants everything that comes into the store to go by her first. Jackie argues that not everyone is a size zero like her. In her interview, Melissa says it’s not as much fun as she thought it would be. Work never is. She tells Jackie that she’s stressed out and Jackie says welcome to owning a business, and tells her she doesn’t have to be there 24/7. She admits to not being good at delegating and Jackie suggests she take some time off.

Teresa – omg, one of their dogs has a magenta mohawk and stripe running down it’s back – tells Gia that she wishes she could come to the book party, but you have to be twenty-one. I guess it’s in a bar. Joe #1 comes in and Gia argues with him. In her interview, Teresa says Joe is drinking more and unraveling. She asks him how he’s doing and he says fine. She says she was all about making memories before she “went away,” and wishes Joe would calm down.

Siggy picks up her son from school and they discuss his upcoming ski trip with his father. She lets him drive, but kibbutzes the whole time and says once he gets his license, he’ll be lost to her. He tells her she has no limits and is loud, and she asks what he expects since she was born in a bomb shelter. I futilely try to figure that one out.

Teresa tells Joe #1 that he’s just like his father and he tells her to shut up. He’s seriously nasty and she tells him to please leave the kitchen. He says the only thing he’s going to miss is his children. Obviously, he’s not taking this going to prison thing too well. Teresa says that she feels like she has five kids instead of four. In her interview, Dolores says it’s in Teresa’s DNA that you never get divorced. Teresa reminds Dolores about the book party coming up. Dolores says she and Siggy are going together.

Jacqueline and Chris are having a poker night. Chris excited because Rosie is going to be there. She and Joe #1 hung out a lot when Teresa was “away,” but she got the brush off since Teresa’s return. I already figure this isn’t going to go well.

Melissa is dealing with her children when Derek calls her about a deadline. Joe #2 comes home and she asks him to help with dinner, but God forbid. He says he’s going to poker night and she says someone has to pick up their son from wrestling. In his interview, he whines that no one helps him with everything. He cuts out as fast as possible.

Rosie arrives at Jacqueline’s. She fells badly about some things she said about Joe #1 on New Year’s Eve. In her interview, she says something I can’t understand because so many words are bleeped. She’s not sure where she stands with Teresa and doesn’t understand what the wedge between them is about. I dunno. I guess discussing it with them is out of the question.

Joe #2 arrives and Rosie talks to him about the other Joe. He makes up something about everyone being busy. Chris calls Joe #1 who says he’s tired and in bed. He says they don’t need him anyway, since Rosie’s is a good poker player. She says she was hoping to see him. They hang up and Rosie wants to leave. In her interview, she says she wanted to see Joe #1 and doesn’t need this bullsh*t. Jacqueline says she doesn’t think he’s not coming because of her, but she wants to leave anyway. These people are incredibly clueless. Jacqueline explains to the guys that Rosie was counting on seeing Joe #1 and thinks there’s some kind of rift.

Rosie comes back. In her interview, she says Joe #1 claimed to have had too much to drink. She says she doesn’t know if Teresa had anything to do with it, but she feels badly for him. She tells the others about her stupid remarks on New Year’s Eve and that she feels guilty. Joe #2 calls Teresa and asks about Joe #1‘s absence, which she explains by saying it’s getting closer to his time in the pokey and he’s kind of freaked out. Chris says he’s glad that his family isn’t as screwed up as Joe #2’s is.

Siggy helps Dolores go through her paperwork. She’s been giving her bills to Frank, but Siggy thinks she needs to get some independence. Dolores says Frank has always handled the bills and she handled the kids. Teresa joins them, and checks out the renovations. Teresa says that “it’s” starting to get to Joe #1 and she needed to get out for some air. Siggy explains what’s going on with Dolores’s bills and Teresa says Dolores needs to start understanding what everything is about. Dolores says she and Frank have a symbiotic relationship. Teresa says she’s lucky to have Frank in her life, but that could always change. Dolores gets excited when she sees a check for cable over-payment. She’s seriously ignorant of her expenses.

Melissa curls her daughter Antonia’s hair for a father/daughter dance. She tells Antonia  that she’s busy with the boutique right now, but doesn’t want their relationship to suffer. She talks to Antonia about what she wants to be when she grows up. Joe #2 says he’s a handsome devil and Melissa gives him a wrist corsage for Antonia. He and Melissa take pictures.

Gia and Teresa have a girls night and go out for sushi. Teresa says she appreciated Gia’s help when she wasn’t around and wants to do something special. Gia takes pictures of the food and calls her father a butthead. She says prison will be good for him. Teresa asks if she means the drinking, and Gia says partly, but he needs to realize what he has. Astute kid. Teresa says he makes the wrong decisions when he drinks. She says she thinks Gia is going to miss him, and she says she will, but she’s not too worried. Teresa tells Gia how proud she is of her. She does seem mature for her age, but she had to grow up kind of fast.

Chris wonders if Joe #1 is coming to the book launch party. He and Jacqueline hitch a limo ride with Dolores, Siggy and her husband.

Teresa is trying tot get ready, and Melania and Audriana act up. Teresa tells Audriana to get to bed and in her interview says that they’re acting out because they know Joe #1 is leaving soon. In the limo, Joe #1 asks Teresa how she’s feeling and she says she’s happy about the book, but not so happy about other things.

Joe #1 gets a call from one of his friends, but Teresa tells him that the friend can’t bring his 12-year-old son. Another deal breaker is that the friend is a felon. Joe tells his felon father friend that they’ll work it out at the venue, but Teresa says it’s a no.

The bar is pretty crowded and Joe #1 can’t get a drink fast enough. Everyone is introducing everyone, and Joe slips out. Teresa’s lawyer has to explain to Joe why his friend can’t come in. Peter the Felon screams at Joe on the street. I think he’s had a few drinks too.

Joe #1 is paged inside the bar, but he’s too busy outside to know. Lawyer James explains what’s going on to Teresa, while Peter rages on, yelling about the mob and the government. Joe comes back in and Teresa is introduced. Her book is number two on the NY Times best seller list. Teresa thanks everyone for coming. She says she wanted to show her daughters what she went through when they get old enough. She says the book is also a love story about her and Joe. She tells everyone she loves them.

Teresa’s lawyer says she’s number two and the Pope is number four. Joe jokes about coming back skinny as hell. Everyone toasts to everything.

This season, Jacqueline’s daughter gets engaged, Melissa has a fashion show, Joe #2 argues with Melissa, Jacqueline calls Melissa a “fake, phony bitch” (!) and embarrasses herself, Joe #1 tells his daughters he’s not dying just going away, and Joe #1 goes away.

Sep1

August 31, 2016 – GH’s Killer Gets Blackmailed, LA’s Briana is About to Pop & NYC’s Reunion Ordeal Begins

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn asks Franco what he’s implying about Hayden. He asks why Franco would accuse her of wanting Elizabeth dead. Hayden tells Finn not to pay attention to him, but Franco says Elizabeth has something on Hayden that could put her away. Hayden says Franco is just making things up, but he says he’s not making up a pouch of diamonds that are proof of fraud. I guess telling them that they’re sisters is now out of the question.

Franco leaves and Finn asks Hayden what’s going on. Hayden tells him not to get involved. Finn says he took some things out on her and he was wrong. He says she took a risk for him and he doesn’t want her to leave town. Gee, maybe if you’d said that a week ago, you wouldn’t be having this conversation now. Hayden says she doesn’t know what to do and he tells her to stop doing it on her own and let him help her.

Alexis is at the bar. OMG – so is Julian!

Ava realizes Paul is the hospital killer. Ava wonders why he’d do something like that and says nothing makes sense.

Meanwhile, Paul continues to be the hospital killer, stalking Monica. Luckily her phone rings while she’s in the locker room, but he’s lurking right behind her.

Griff tells Franco they’ve ruled some things out, but Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods. Franco asks what he’s talking about. Griff says they need to run more tests and they take as long as they take. Doctor talk. He says she’s under excellent care and constant attention.

Julian tells Alexis that the powers that be know they belong together. She argues with him and he grabs her arm. Then we see Tracy has her arm. I can’t believe they fooled me again. Alexis asks where Julian went. Tracy says he’s in jail. Alexis swears she saw him, so Tracy calls the PCPD.

Oh! Paul’s phone goes off and startles Monica. Hiding the syringe, he makes something up about why he’s there. She thanks him for all his hard work and leaves. He sees a picture on his phone of him and Ava – he’s putting on cufflinks in the picture. He calls her, thinking that she’s trying to hold their affair over his head, but she says she has something more and to meet her at Perks. He asks where she is now and she says closer than he thinks. She talks to herself, saying now it’s his turn to have his sins come back and haunt him. This is a good one today.

Jordan comes to the hospital. Monica tells her Paul is there already. She’d asked him to come because of the patient that did and he was there in a heartbeat. Yep. He certainly was. Monica says she thought that’s why Jordan was there, but Jordan says she’s there because Elizabeth was supposed to come to the station and never showed up.

Griff tells Franco to talk to Elizabeth when she gets settled in. He believes in second chances and thinks Franco is sincere.

Hayden tells Finn about the diamonds. She says Elizabeth made her so angry, she slapped her, but that’s all. He says he believes her. She says the diamonds were all that was left after the Feds confiscated all the assets, but she never sold them because they were the last thing left from her father. Finn says help him understand how she could be so clueless.

Tracy confirms that Julian is still in jail. She asks how long Alexis has been hallucinating. Alexis says it’s more like a waking nightmare that she’s had since Julian tried to kill her. Tracy brings up the fight she had with Kristina, but Alexis says it was no big deal. Still, she’s terrified Julian will be acquitted because of her.

Paul tells Ava she’d better have a good reason for the meeting. Ava acts silly and tells him they’re in a public place, so don’t try to kill her. She tells him about Jordan calling her in regard to a murder. He tells her the flash drive is safe as long as she testifies against Julian. She says she’s not going to do that and he’s not going to give the flash drive to anyone. He thinks she’s calling his bluff, but she tells him about the cufflink and how she remembered it was his.

Monica tells Jordan how Elizabeth had a nasty fall. She starts to tell Jordan about the power outage, but Franco butts in, saying something about Hayden being responsible.

Hayden tells Finn that she has nothing left. She lied to the Feds, and if Elizabeth turns her in, she’ll go to prison. Finn says Franco is right, if Elizabeth dies, her problems go away. Hayden is aghast that he’d believe she’d kill Elizabeth.

Griff sees a needle in with the dirty scrubs. He carefully removes it.

Franco talks to an unconscious Elizabeth. He says they have a lot to talk about and there’s more to life than just toast. She regains consciousness and asks what happened. She asks about the boys and he says they’re fine. She says she’s sore and he tells her she took a big fall. He asks if she remembers anything.

Tracy says Alexis knows what the jury wants to hear to convict Julian and she has to give it to them. Alexis tells Tracy about how Jordan thought she was still trying to protect Julian and trying to discredit herself.

Paul laughs – ha-ha! – at Ava. He says she can’t prove he ever owned anything like that. She says she does have their video though. In addition to the graphic footage, there’s a clear image of him putting on his cufflinks.

Griff tells Monica about the syringe. He’s given it to the lab for analyzing. He asks about Elizabeth and they both go to check on her. Franco is telling Elizabeth to just concentrate on getting better because he’s not okay with this and thought he almost lost her. She says she’s still here and he says he’s glad. (His characters are so often brooding, it’s nice to see Roger Howarth smile. Although I’d rather see Franco and Nina together.) Griff and Monica come in. Griff says tests are being run and Monica says everyone is rooting for her and to rest. When they’re gone, Franco says everyone in the hospital loves her. Elizabeth starts to remember what happened. She starts to talk about going into Monica’s office, but Franco interrupts, so she skips to the power outage on the stairs. She tells him she felt hands on her back.

Hayden asks if Finn thinks she pushed Elizabeth. He says he didn’t say that, but the argument happened just before Elizabeth fell down the stairs, so what is he supposed to think?

Alexis says if nothing else, Scotty is going to have a field day with how long she waited to say something about Julian. Tracy says that’s okay, he’ll probably make a procedural error, and besides, they have the confession on tape. She says after all Alexis has been through, she’ll blow the jury away just by telling the truth.

Paul balks at the idea a grainy video will bury him. Um…it’s not very grainy. He asks why Ava thinks he’d be behind the killings. She says she spent time in his hotel room tonight and not to be concerned with the how and the why, but what she found. She shows him the pouch with the syringes in it and he makes a great soap opera face. 😨

Hayden tells Finn she wanted to shut Elizabeth up, but not kill her. She says she had something on Elizabeth too. She tells him she was shot last year and the official story was wrong. She says Nicholas hired sometone to kill her and Elizbeth knew about it. Finn’s mind boggles that Hayden still married Nicholas. Hayden says Elizabeth was an accessory after the fact and she was going to make a bargain with her. She says she’s not a murderer. Jordan interrupts saying she’s been looking for Hayden. She tells her that Elizabeth had called saying she had information about Hayden. Hayden says she doesn’t know anything about it and Elizabeth doesn’t clue her in on her plans. Jordan says Franco told her that he found Elizabeth with her in the stairwell. She asks what Hayden was doing before the outage and Finn says she was with him.

Elizabeth realizes she was pushed and wonders who would try to kill her. She says she was going home to get the diamonds and she’d just had a fight with Hayden. Finn got in the middle and told her to go see Monica. Franco says its not a stretch to think Hayden was involved, since when he got there, she was standing over Elizabeth.

Alexis asks Tracy what she’s even doing at The Floating Rib, since its not her usual haunt. Tracy tells her about the disastrous lunch with Dillon and how she saw Alexis talking to herself. She says she knows Alexis is angry and that anger can be motivating. She tells Alexis that it will get better and eventually she’ll have her life back, but testifying is the first step. Tracy leaves to take a call and Julian is back again, telling Alexis that she won’t be able to do it.

Paul says not that it’s Ava’s business, but he has a prescription. She says not for this he doesn’t and it’s something used for surgery. She says she was originally there out of curiosity and found the mother lode. She asks what he’s trying to cover up, who he’s trying to frame, or is he just a psycho? She says he’s done if she decides to go to Jordan. He asks what she wants. This reminds me of the time that Home Depot tried to get over on me, but then realized I had the upper hand. Long roofing story.

Griff tells Monica that the syringe tested positive for whatever that drug is that’s been killing the patients. She wonders if the power outage stopped the killer and Griff says maybe they’re the one who caused it.

Ava says Paul probably made copies of the flash drive anyway, but his silence is a condition of the agreement. She says she knows he’s angry and homicidal, but there’s no reason not to be civilized. And I swear to you, just now Paul called Ava “Anna” and no one caught it or they thought the audience wouldn’t. Ava tells Paul that she also wants Julian to go free.

Alexis says she’ll bury Julian, but he says she can’t, and they’ll be together because they were meant to be. She tells him he’s not really there. Tracy sees her talking to herself again, and Alexis asks what’s happening to her. Tracy says she’s been drinking on an empty stomach. She tells Alexis she’s calling her a cab and she’s to go home, drink some water, take some aspirin and go to bed. If she ends up a whimpering mess, Julian wins, and don’t let him win anything.

Finn tells Jordan that he and Hayden had argued and he was trying to make things right. Jordan says she might need to contact him for more formal questioning and Hayden should expect to be contacted as well. She leaves and Hayden asks why Finn didn’t say anything. He says he doesn’t think she pushed Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Hayden did this to her. Franco says they don’t know that and Elizabeth tells him about the slap. She adds that Finn saw it and says Hayden tried to kill her.

Tomorrow, Jason tells Sam to make a wish, Sonny tells Joe not to make the same mistakes Carrrlos did, and Nell asks Carly if she threatened someone.

Little Women: LA

Briana says she’s about to burst and she’s now as big around as she is tall. She and Matt go out to lunch and discuss having a housewarming or “pre-pop” party. She says if Christy shows up, she’ll call the cops. She’s furious about Christy setting her up at Tonya’s party. Briana says Christy is delusional and she thinks she must be doing something like day drinking or taking drugs. She says Christy has completely changed, and she vacillates between being zen and wired. Matt thinks they should also reveal their baby’s name at the party.

Joe and Terra are doing fun activities with Penny before she has a new brother or sister to torment for the rest of her life. They’re making some kind of craft that involves hand prints, and Penny is not pleased at having her hand dipped in paint. Joe tells her not to worry because she only has 18 more years to live with them.

Since Penny will be behind in physical development, Terra is trying to teach her more words. In her interview, Terra says there’s no scale to measure a little person’s development; everyone is different.

Preston and Elena, who looks stunning in a yellow and black maxi sun dress, sit on the patio while the babies are napping. They discuss their sex life, or lack thereof, since they have to wait six weeks. Elena says she feels like cobwebs are growing on her and she’s counting down the hours. One of the babies starts to cry. There goes relaxation time.

Tonya comes over Terra’s place. Terra wants to wrap up the feud they’ve been having. In her interview, Terra says they’ve been best friends for most of their lives. She tells Tonya that she’s sorry for putting her nose where it didn’t belong and that Tonya is like a sister to her. She starts to tear up and Tonya tells her to stop because she doesn’t want to cry. She says the activewear line is like her baby and there’s a difference between critiques and throwing shade. She’s also annoyed that Terra drug Elena into it.

Terra says she hadn’t expected Elena to make things worse. She tells Tonya that it upset her to see Tonya talking to Christy about it. Terra switches topics by saying she gets the feeling there’s been a disconnect between Tonya and Angelique since Kerwin moved in. She tells Tonya that Angelique feels like she settled. In her interview, Tonya is bothered that Angelique would tell Terra something like that before she came to her. Tonya accepts Terra’s apology, but insists she hasn’t settled.

Autumn and Christy are taking a yoga class. In her interview, Christy says yoga ain’t easy for a dyslexic dwarf, and that you’re not going to be a good parent unless you’re embarrassing your kid. My father would probably concur about the latter. After class, Christy tells Autumn that her grandfather could have colon cancer. They say they’re each other’s best friend.

The girls go to an ice cream parlor where you ride a bike to churn your own ice cream. Cool! Both literally and figuratively. Tonya tells everyone that she and Terra have reconciled. Elena says she was hurt by Tonya blowing her off at the party and feels like she can’t speak her mind. Tonya thinks once Elena actually sees her activewear, she’ll be impressed.

Tonya asks how everyone is feeling about Briana and Matt, since their party is coming up. Jasmine says that Matt makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want it to cause another rift.

Jasmine and Chris walk on the beach. She says they won’t be able to have much alone time after the baby comes. She’s worried about Briana and Matt. Chris suggests she stay out of their business. Jasmine thinks that Matt needs to understand how she feels so they can move on. She says he has a hot temper and doesn’t mince words, so she’s concerned about approaching him.

Tonya and Angelique take a flying class. Not that kind of flying, but those circles and fabric swatches people twirl around on. During a break, Tonya tells Angelique that she and Terra made up. She mentions what Terra told her in regard to Angelique’s feelings about Kerwin. Angelique says it’s a big change and she feels like she got no warning. She loves them, but feels like her opinions and feelings have been disregarded. She starts to cry and Tonya apologizes. Tonya figured since Angelique was grown, it wouldn’t be a big deal and didn’t realize she needed to adjust. Tonya asks why Angelique feels like she’s settling. Angelique says that Kerwin moving in seemed to come out of the blue. Tonya says every love story is different and their timing hadn’t been good up until then. She says she’ll never put a man before her child though. They hug it out.

Todd and Christy look at outdoor plants for their new house. Todd wonders if getting Christy’s dad involved in gardening might be a good idea. She says her dad has pre-cancerous cells in his esophagus and they need to do more testing on his colon. It’s upsetting to hear her mother talk about chemo and radiation. Todd suggests putting off his search for his birth parents so they can concentrate on her father. Christy thinks all the more reason not to wait, since there could be health issues in Todd’s family that he should know about.

The pre-pop/housewarming party begins. Briana is having mild contractions, but says she’s had them before and isn’t too concerned. Elena looks fabulous for someone who just had twins, but these girls always look well put together. Jasmine is anxious about talking to Matt, since she doesn’t know what his reaction will be, but feels like she can’t hold back any longer.

Jasmine asks Matt if she can have a word. She says she was there for him and fought for him, and the things he did with other women were disgusting. She wants to be supportive of Briana, but doesn’t want things to be awkward with Matt. Matt tells her that he hopes with time he can show everyone that someone can change. He tears up and says he wants to set a good example for his children. Jasmine says that if he’s who Briana chooses, she has to accept that. He thanks Jasmine for being a good friend to Briana throughout.

Jasmine tells the girls about the conversation. In her interview, Terra thinks Jasmine is taking it all too much to heart and Briana is the one who has to sleep with him.

Time to eat. Jasmine asks Briana about Christy setting her up for the process server to find her at the party. Briana says she’s disgusted with Christy and she’ll never be friends with her again. She thinks Christy is trying to take attention away from something going on in her own life. Elena wonders if it was just a coincidence. Terra brings up how Christy almost got her arrested and Jasmine says it’s been a chain of events. Terra thinks Christy is trying to get back at Briana for cutting her out of the loop.

Briana wonders if Christy is on something. Terra says that she and Tonya had discussed if Christy was on drugs. Briana says she doesn’t seem like the same Christy. In her interview, Terra talks about Christy repeatedly taking what she said was ibuprofen a year ago, although she doesn’t think it was ibuprofen. Elena is distressed that the allegations are so big.

Game time. The guests pick a cupcake with a letter of the alphabet on it. All together they will form the name. Maverick Jax. Okay, I’m good with that. All of a sudden, Briana says her pain is at a 10 and it’s close to how she felt the last time she went to the hospital. She’s not supposed to have her c-section for another two weeks. Terra says she could die if she tries to deliver naturally. Briana decides to go to the hospital. She’s more worried about the baby than the pain, not knowing if these are contractions or the baby is in distress. Matt gets her into the car.

Tonya says the baby is about to come. Everyone watches as the car drives away.

This season is chock full o’ fun – an amusement park, archery, bowling, Penny poops, Briana delivers, Christy is confronted and Terra is hospitalized.

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part One

Andy says hello to the ladies and they answer back like it’s an AA meeting. No shock, everyone looks fabulous. I especially love Dorinda’s white and silver dress that looks like a snowflake. Bethenny’s divorce is finally coming to a close after five years, but she’s not discussing her latest boyfriend. Jules, who is in the process of a divorce, isn’t talking about that either.

We start with Dorinda and flash back to the stupidity of John. Dorinda wears those humongous chain earrings a lot. She’s like, thanks a lot for making me relive that again. Bethenny says her hat’s off to Dorinda for putting her life out there. The Countess asks if John watched the show. Dorinda says he tried to justify his behavior at first, but she told him he was an a-hole and he accepted the mantle.

A fan asks what Dorinda thinks rubs people the wrong way about John. She says her husband was very different, visually as well as intellectually, and she traveled in a different circle, so people aren’t used to it. Sonja says a bunch of stuff that boils down to John not having social skills. The bra party is brought up. Andy asks Bethenny if she was referring to coke when she sarcastically asked if John wanted to “blow some lines.” She says she was, and Dorinda says Bethenny doesn’t know their life. Bethenny doesn’t want the question to go any further. Dorinda asks why Bethenny would insinuate that she does drugs and Sonja says everyone knows she does. What? Andy just moves on and I’m like, hey, go back.

They talk about Bethenny’s birthday party and how she ran from John. Bethenny says her problem is that she can’t pretend, and it makes social situations awkward. Ramona gets a turn on the John bandwagon and we flash back to that drunk guy that John tried to kick out of the party. Then we move to The Countess because she dated that guy. Ramona is asked why she wanted him to stay, and she acts clueless. Andy asks Dorinda about where she thinks her relationship is going and she says they’re both happy the way things are. I’m very distracted by the decor – silver pillows on a plum velvety couch, winter berries in vases and some beautiful pink martini and wine glasses stacked in the background. Andy said they were at The Diamond Horseshoe in Times Square, which I assume is a chic bar.

Ramona’s turn. She’s single and ready to mingle. We flash back to her many moments of flirtatiousness. In one of them, I notice a lady in the background at a restaurant noticing the cameras. My favorite part is when Ramona mispronounces reggae as ra-gay, emphasis on the gay. Andy asks if there’s anyone special, but she says she’s just dating a lot. Dorinda says she went from trapping to hunting. Andy says viewers have seen her as “lighter” this season. She talks about her and Mario going back and forth for a while before they finally divorced. She had always been the caregiver when no one took care of her. I will say, she didn’t really scream and yell at anyone this time around. It’s Groundhog Day when we go back to the pronunciation of reggae and then we move on to The Countess’s way of pronouncing things that’s totally her own.

Dorinda is asked for a review of the guys that Ramona’s been dating, but she’s not talking. She and Sonja get in an argument about how Dorinda feels about Ramona’s dating life. Andy asks how Ramona’s daughter feels about her newly single mother. They all talk about Ramona’s new ta-tas and how great she looks.

We revisit Dorinda’s holiday weekend in the Berkshires. The Countess and Bethenny bicker in those little corner squares while we watch Bethenny rip The Countess a new one during dinner. It culminates with Dorinda’s “I did it nice” speech. Andy asks if there’s a curse on her parties with the women. We go over The Countess’s claim that Bethenny copied her hairstyle. Andy asks for a show of hands, but there are no takers. They discuss Dorinda’s birthday cake. Andy says her kitchen monologue was gripping. Dorinda says at that point she just wanted to be a mother and stop the arguing and I agree – she did sound like someone’s mother. Or that guy in West Side Story who says “You kids! Why do you live like there’s a war on?” Apparently, her tirades have their own Twitter name – dornadoes.

Andy mentions that The Countess acted self-centered when Jules tried to tell her about her father being sick. The Countess says she apologized and Jules says she wasn’t offended since they talk all the time. Bethenny is called out about slut-shaming The Countess. We flash back to the married man thing in Turks and Caicos. The Countess claims he was getting divorced. Pfft! That’s what they all say. She says Bethenny is a hypocrite because Bethenny is dating a married man right at this very minute. She didn’t really say that last part, but I thought it sounded more dramatic.

The Countess says when Bethenny started dating him, he had been married and living at home. I assume she means with his wife and not his parents. The Countess asks what married man she’s slept with, and Bethenny asks who hasn’t she slept with, and Carole adds if The Countess doesn’t know, how would she know? Bethenny jokes that she’s going to come out with a Slutty Girl line.

Andy asks if Bethenny’s boyfriend left his wife for her and she says no. She actually called his wife, who she’d gone to high school with, to make sure everything was cool. The Countess keeps whispering to the others on the other couch. Andy moves back on topic and Bethenny says she called his wife while she was still only friends with him to get a time stamp. Bethenny says if slut-shaming is noticing that The Countess writes etiquette books, but then acts like a whore when she’s out, that’s what she’s doing. Alrighty then!

Andy points out that Bethenny said she liked the new, freewheeling Countess during the last reunion. Bethenny says she got a little too free, swiping men out from under their women’s noses. A fan says that Bethenny is disrespectful to her co-stars and then acts repentant. The Countess says the remorse isn’t genuine and we go back to Bethenny dating a married man because no one can ever let anything go.

Bethenny whips out her phone to call her boyfriend’s daughter. Someone always whips out something. Bethenny asks the daughter if anyone in the family believes she was dating her father while he was married. The daughter confirms that’s a no. She actually talks for a while, but you can’t hear it above the bickering going on.The Countess says the daughter is just defending her father and there’s a mini-debate about whether daughters are more defending of their mothers or fathers. The Countess calls Bethenny a horrible, evil person and Bethenny calls her a liar.

Next time – part two – The Countess loses her title, Bethenny accuses Jules of using the show as a vehicle for her divorce, Tom and Sonja are discussed and Ramona whips out evidence. Told you.

I’m also watching The Real Housewives of Melbourne, although I started late because they snuck it in on me. I like this one because the women are all loud and literally larger than life, reminding me of transvestites, and I mean that in a good way. They wear lavish outfits, throw lavish parties, argue incessantly, and go to places like Dubai, a city I’m fascinated with, but would be scared to actually travel to. I love seeing Australia as well. That’s another place I’d love to visit, but can’t imagine a plane ride that long. This season, we were also treated to a the wedding of Gamble Breaux (yes, that’s her name) on a beach in New South Wales. I recommend this one – if you can keep track of it.

Aug29

August 28, 2016 – NJ Wives Go to the Spa & the Feared Dead Go to a Hotel

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Everyone is getting ready for the Crystal Springs spa trip. Dolores wonders why Melissa needs 47 bags for a weekend. So do I. Teresa asks Melissa and Dolores if they’ve talked to Jacqueline. Melissa says she has, but kind of blows off the question. In another car, Jacqueline says they should all be able to play in the same sandbox. In her interview, she says if Teresa doesn’t play nice, she’ll bury her. Not too defensive. Siggy thinks it all comes from insecurity and that Jacqueline is upset because Teresa isn’t as invested in the friendship as she is.

Teresa brings up Jacqueline’s remark about her federal offense. I don’t blame her for thinking that it was a low blow. I think that’s about all Jacqueline is capable of.

Crystal Springs looks amazing and we haven’t even gotten in the door. A butler greets them on the porch with champagne. Everyone claims their rooms. At least Ramona isn’t here. Jacqueline and Siggy arrive after the others and Jacqueline ignores Teresa. Because she’s such a grown up like she said she was. Siggy won’t let this happen and makes Jacqueline say hello to Teresa. Time stops.

In the meantime, Joe #2 is perplexed as to how to feed his kids. He struggles to make some chicken nuggets, wondering how they cook so fast. He’s appreciating Melissa to no end right now. Chris calls as Joe attempts to make some fish. Chris suggests they get together later. At least the popcorn is a success.

It’s dinner time at Crystal Springs. Everyone toasts to friendship and new beginnings. Good luck with that.

The girls discuss different trips they’ve been on. Jacqueline warms up a little when Teresa talks about the trip they went on to Italy. Dolores thinks maybe they just needed to get out of their environment. Jacqueline talks about the new company Chris is starting and how much it costs to raise a child with autism. Siggy says everyone has gone through hardships and talks about living with her parents after her divorce. She says when you’re down, you find out who your true friends are. Melissa talks about not even being able to afford diapers at one point. Teresa tell the group about how so many people thought she should leave Joe #1, but she loves him. Siggy says they’re all survivors at the end of the day, and they toast to that.

Next they go to the fire and water deck, whatever that is. They sit around a fire pit, drinking wine and making s’mores. They discuss when they had their first children, and Jacqueline brings up going ring shopping with her future son-in-law, Pete. Melissa is bummed about missing things with the kids while she’s dealing with her new business. She says when her father passed away, it was devastating for her mother because she’d never worked, and you never know what’s going to happen. Teresa talks about missing the kids when she was in prison camp. Jacqueline gets weepy about it and Teresa invites her and Chris to her book party.

The ladies don their pajamas. Teresa FaceTimes with Joe #1, and she and Jacqueline pretend there’s a big fight going on and Teresa tells him to come and pick her up. Then Jacqueline gives him a cleavage shot. What a couple of comediennes! In her interview, Dolores thinks if they can stay away from discussing the past issues, they’ll be okay. They move on to play wine pong. Tipsy silliness ensues.

Chris plays with his kids. Zzzzz…..

Melissa is the only one who wakes up in full makeup. A chef has arrived to cook a fabulous breakfast. The ladies talk about their kids again. Jacqueline leaves the table and is crying in the bathroom. OMG – they’ve run out of coffee. I’d cry too. Siggy talks to Jacqueline, who is upset because her proud mommy moments are very different from the other women’s. Siggy tells her that Nicholas doesn’t know any different, so it’s not like he’s comparing himself to the other kids. The girls gather around to give support. Melissa says you can’t always be a rock.

Teresa privately tells Dolores that maybe when Jacqueline snapped at her, she was just reacting to how much she has on her plate. Jacqueline is happy about Teresa being supportive. The ladies hang out by the pool on lounge chairs. Melissa talks to Dolores about her relationship with Teresa. In her interview, she says Joe #2 is happy with how things are, so she’s picking her battles. Jacqueline is aware that she and Teresa are being talked about and asks if they’d like to share it with the rest of the class. Dolores asks what they’re talking about, and Jacqueline says they’re talking about what she and Melissa are talking about.

Jacqueline and Teresa go for some spa treatments. Jacqueline talks about getting Nicholas involved with more children. Teresa says Milania loves him and to call her whenever she’s having a bad day. Jacqueline apologizes for saying stupid stuff. Outside, Siggy says she wishes that Jacqueline could see how much Teresa has changed, but Melissa says Jacqueline needs more proof.

The girls are making dinner. Melissa asks Teresa how things are going with Jacqueline. Teresa tells her about Jacqueline’s apology. They grill some steaks and everyone pitches in with the meal.

Chris and Joe #1 go out to eat at Reno’s restaurant. Reno sits with them and Joe talks about how Teresa’s lost weight and has a smaller behind now. He says once he leaves, it will probably be emotional, but there’s nothing he can do about anything, and his main concern is his family’s safety. He’s gotten a German Shepherd that he’s having trained.

The meal the girls have made looks freaking amazing. Everyone is thrilled about how well Jacqueline and Teresa are getting along. Jacqueline talks about how when she gets mad, she says ugly things. Siggy explains that sometimes the two of them just aren’t coming from the same place and it creates a communication problem. Everyone gets goofy during dessert. Teresa sits on some chocolate and much fun is made of the brown mess on the back of her pants.

Jacqueline calls out Melissa and Dolores for talking about her and Teresa at the pool. In her interview, Melissa says Jacqueline’s paranoia is coming into play, because she and Dolores weren’t discussing them. But they were. Teresa says Jacqueline needs to relax and Jacqueline agrees that she thinks too much.

Teresa teaches the girls some yoga. Teresa talks about yoga stimulating going to the bathroom and how you’re encouraged to pass gas. Then she has to explain what queve is. I’m not going to. Look it up. She ends the class with, “Namaste, bitches,” Dina’s old tagline.

Next time, it looks like Dolores might have had to put Boo to sleep 😟, Rosie misses everyone, and Teresa has a book party.

Fear the Walking Dead

Nick wakes up in the La Colonia infirmary. He walks out into the street and wanders around the town. There isn’t another soul to be seen. He sees a little girl crying. He goes to her and looks out to the townspeople saying good-by to one of the men who is about to walk out into a group of zombies. It’s the girl’s father.

The people chant some nonsense in Spanish as the guy walks through a bus to the zombies outside. (I find out later that they’re saying, “From death we come, and to death we deliver ourselves.”) Um…that chanting isn’t going to help anything. Nick moves the girl so she can’t see. No big shock, the man is attacked and eaten. Good job, folks. What did you think was gong to happen? Nick is appalled.

Madison and the others are out driving around looking for Nick and Travis. It’s been two days since they left. Alicia wants to go back. Victor says they’re riding on fumes and should go back to the boat. Madison goes back to the truck.

Nick wanders through the now active marketplace. A lady calls him over. Alejandro tends to one of the men who believes he’s not long for this world.

Uh-oh. The boat’s gone. Victor thinks the military was waiting for them to land and took it. Ofelia suggests they walk into the sea, but Alicia thinks finding shelter in a nearby hotel is a better idea. Alicia tells Madison that it’s the two of them now, whether she likes it or not. A message is left on the beach: Abigail Lost Head North.

The group checks out the hotel. They don’t see anything moving. Even though there might be something unsavory awaiting them inside, they figure better inside than outside. They approach, Victor breaks the front door lock, and they go inside. Alicia wonders where the person who locked up is now. Victor hits the desk bell and Madison asks if he’s out of his mind. He tells her the service stinks there.

Luci tells Nick they have work to do. He follows her. She brings Nick through the bus, fights off some zombies and pins one to a wall. She tells Nick to stay quiet. They put zombie blood on themselves. Nick asks why him and she says no one will miss him.

The group wanders through the hotel. The banquet room has been set up for a wedding. Ofelia says she almost got married once and he was a good man. Victor says not that good, since it was almost. She says he was leaving for New Mexico and she needed to stay with her parents. Victor tells her not to dwell on the past.

Nick asks what was up with the thing that morning. Luci explains that they keep a wall of zombies outside the fence for protection and when one of them gets infected, they volunteer to be one of the wall to protect their people. He asks what if the guy just became lunch for no reason. She tells him he has no faith. She compares it to the ocean cleansing itself and says the dead are returning, and when they go, the world will be new. She tells him that Alejandro was bitten and she saw it happen, but he didn’t turn.

Victor and company continue through the hotel. Alicia wants to split up, but Madison doesn’t like it. Too bad, she goes off with Ofelia anyway. Victor tells Madison she needs and drink and so does he.

Luci takes Nick to see a gang from East Tijuana who deal with supplies. She tells him to keep his mouth shut, that they’ll hang you for looking at them wrong. She gives the guy at the door pharmaceuticals. They give her a cart and tell her to fill it. She says it used to be two, but the guy says it isn’t anymore. Just like the EpiPen!

Victor makes martinis and calls Madison a Southern belle. She tells him his martini is bullsh*t and to bring her the tequila. Ofelia and Alicia go through the rooms. They hear zombie noises from some of them. Alicia notices that someone put “do not disturb” signs on the rooms with the zombies in them. They go inside a safe room and grab some supplies. They find a zombie in a shower who tried to commit suicide, but just got hung up on the shower-head. Alicia puts a do not disturb sign on the door as they leave.

Luci tells Nick to get whatever they can use for the infirmary. He wants to add a package of snack cakes, but that’s a no. No cakes for you. They get quite a few jugs of water as well.

Ofelia tells Alicia there’s still hot water. Alicia empties the mini-bar and asks Ofelia why the guy in the shower gave up. Ofelia says maybe he was tired of surviving. Alicia says you just push on. Ofelia says they’re not going to make it. She talks about her father being one step beyond hope. Alicia says it’s all they have and if they lose that, they’re dead. She tells Ofelia she’s family now.

Luci and Nick leave with the cart. One of the gang members knocks Nick to the ground. Nick has the cookies in his pocket. The guy hits Nick in the head with what looks like a billy club. Why on earth did Nick think he was slick enough to get away with that? On the other hand, technically, the crackers would have fit in the cart, so…

Commercial break. Please, spare me the car ads with Matthew McConaughey.

Gang dude says rats who steal get their paws cut off and prepares to chop off Nick’s hand. Luci translates as Nick threatens them with no more Oxy. He saw gang dude tending to his sick sister, and tells him if she’s without it for a week, he’ll hope she turns, because he’ll want to kill her. He says the gang needs Oxy and La Colonia has it. And if they want it, not only will he let Nick go, but the gang will give them another cart of water. Dude throws him down, but agrees. Nice negotiating, Nick! They could use you on The Walking Dead right about now.

When they leave the area, Luci is concerned about being followed. She says she’s never been followed, but she also never had a stupid gringo threaten them. Nick says sorry.

Madison and Victor talk over drinks. Victor talks about what might have happened had they met at another time. He says he’s a seducer of people who would have it on her and it would have been fun. He says now there’s no world to talk about; there’s not even a bar. Madison says Alicia is right. they’re never going to see Nick again. Victor says Nick is bullet proof and he’s alive. Madison says Nick was born lost, like his daddy. If you leave him alone, he heads toward death.

Victor asks how Nick’s father died. Madison says he was late coming home and went into oncoming traffic. Victor asks if he fell asleep at the wheel and she says that’s what she told the kids. She says she keeps trying to save the kids and they keep dying over and over. Travis stopped it for a while, but now he’s gone. Victor says we can only live with things, we can’t choose. Madison says she didn’t have to be a mother, but she chose to be. She’s getting a little drunk and throws her glass. Then she gets another glass and pours them another shot. They drink to false hope and she throws that glass too.

Victor goes over to the piano, but it’s all out of tune, which is totally appropriate. As he plays, we see zombies locked inside a shop trying to get out. All this noise is attracting their attention.

Alicia takes a shower. She calls to Ofelia that it’s her turn, but then can’t find her. She sees something fall from the roof. She looks over the side of the balcony and sees a couple of zombies take nose-dives off the balconies on the other side of the hotel. Zombies start falling from everywhere and Alicia runs calling for Ofelia. She opens a door to a stairwell and it’s crawling with zombies. I want to see more of the zombies taking headers. That was kind of cool. I do have to lodge a complaint here though. I realize I’m working with a huge suspension of disbelief, even accepting that there has been a zombie apocalypse at all. Cool as it was, these zombies were falling several stories and just getting up. Even if  they’re the undead, they would still have broken bones and not be able to walk away. Okay. I feel better now.

Nick and Luci make it back to La Colonia. Nick sees the little girl whose father went to the wall and gives her the cakes. Luci sees and realizes Nick isn’t the selfish dumbass she thought he was. Nick goes to see Alejandro. He says he heard Nick almost started a war. Nick says he thought the little girl needed something, some comfort, and there should be some things that are not about death. Alejandro says when they run out of cake and drugs, where will they turn? Nick says what good is faith when the water runs out? Alejandro says when the world is washed of death, the faithful will remain. He says they are the chosen who will outlast death. Nick sees the healed bite mark, and Alejandro tells him that he’s welcome to stay, but if he puts the people in danger again they’ll feed him to the wall.

Victor and Madison are getting really sloshed. Victor is banging on the out-of-tune piano and Madison is flinging glasses around. Victor looks out the floor to ceiling window and sees the zombies falling outside the widow and says they have to go now. Too late. Zombies are getting in everywhere.

Alejandro makes a speech to the people about the Lord and how life is a sigh between two deaths. He tells them the migration of the dead has begun. He says that the world is for them, the faithful, and death will not take them. The people start their chant and Nick joins them. Alejandro says as long as he lives, they’ll never leave.

This is interspersed with Victor and Madison fighting the zombies without conventional weapons, using liquor bottles and chairs. Holy! They’re surrounded.

Next time, Alicia shows what she’s made of, and Travis and Chris get involved with a new group of people who look pretty militant.

Aug22

August 21, 2016 – NJ Wife Teresa Loses the Bracelet & Fear the Walking Dead Finds My TV

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Dolores is getting a “facelift” for her house. Frank has sent a crew (where can you get an ex-husband like him?), but she wants things done a certain way and is trying to get ahold of him. She wanted to gut the kitchen and he’s only refacing it. Siggy says she’s a hustler and a survivor who’s basically living off of Frank.

Siggy and Delores visit Jacqueline (bleh) who they think looks “adorable” shoveling snow. It doesn’t take Jacqueline long to bring up Teresa, make fun of her accent, and say that she’s passive/aggressive. Siggy says the two of them are fencing by hitting each other’s trigger points.

Melissa says when Joe #2 and Teresa have tension, it trickles down. She’s miffed that Jacqueline called him, and Joe says the girls constantly twist his words around. Melissa says he shouldn’t have gotten pulled into a chick fight.

Teresa is looking forward to getting her ankle bracelet taken off. You don’t even have to go somewhere for this – Joe #1 is cutting it off with a pair of scissors. The kids are having a snow day, which Joe says is good for them, not so much for him. Teresa is thrilled that she can now pick up her kids at school and do whatever she needs to. Joe roughhouses with Milania and Teresa reminds him that he doesn’t have boys and says he’s too rough with the kids. Joe thinks yelling at them is a better idea.

Melissa meets Jacqueline <sigh and eye roll> for lunch. She asks what happened with Teresa. She’s not happy with Jacqueline calling Joe #2. She says she wishes Jacqueline wouldn’t have put him in that position. Because she has no empathy for anyone else, Jacqueline starts waving her finger in Melissa’s face, saying how much she’s done for their family. Melissa thinks something’s “off” with her and tells her that she’s creating problems. Jacqueline tells her that Teresa brought Joe up first. In her interview, Jacqueline says that the new namaste Teresa is a con artist. Jacqueline suggests that she and Melissa just never bring Teresa up again, which is beyond ridiculous. Melissa is like, why does this have to be complicated? I’ll tell you why. Because Jacqueline is a self-centered moron who wants to dictate other people’s behavior.

Siggy’s parents visit her. She tells them how her kids are growing up in a different generation and talks to her parents about getting them interested in family and tradition. Siggy grew up in Israel. Her father was a Holocaust survivor and she says she comes from a family of survivors. Her father talks about how Fridays were always family nights and they made sure to have dinner together. Siggy says after her divorce, she let things with the kids slide and wants to change that.

Ashlee tells her parents that they’re young and cool. Okay. It’s her one-year anniversary with her boyfriend, Pete, and he’s coming over for dinner. They’re talking about moving in together and Chris says it’s a big commitment and makes it known that marriage is preferable. Chris says Pete reminds him of himself. In the kitchen, Pete confides in Jacqueline that he wants to look at rings, but he’d like her help. She gets so excited, she drops the silverware.

The Gorgas go to the Giudices for dinner. Melissa asks Teresa if her leg feels lighter. They talk about health topics and Teresa confuses an enema with edamame. I literally LOL. Melissa tells her about the lunch with Jacqueline. Teresa says she’s evil and tells Melissa about Jacqueline baiting her. Melissa thinks the problem is they’re both Tauruses, but says since she’s the ram, she’s going to butt them in a minute. Teresa says she’s done with Jacqueline and her innocent act. I agree with her on that. Jacqueline loves to act like she wears a halo, but she’s always spoiling for a fight or some kind of drama.

Siggy tells her son that they’ll be doing Kiddish (a Jewish celebratory meal) on Fridays from now on. She says she doesn’t want the kids to be “super Jews,” but she does want to start some traditions. Her parents are joining them. She announces no phones at the table. She says family and tradition bring you together.

Frank goes to Dolores’s house. She tells him she wants to knock one of the kitchen walls down. Frank agrees. She moves next to wanting a tile floor, but compromises when he says he’ll do a darker finish. She suggests he just give her the money, but that’s a no.

Teresa is holding a family meeting. She says she grew up not talking about feelings, and she wants her daughters to be able to express their opinions. She tells everyone to write down what improvements they’d like and Milania suggests no sisters. Her next best suggestion is for her sisters and dad to stop calling her fat, and tells Joe #1 he’s no one to talk because he looks pregnant. I guess he deserved that one. Teresa makes a promise not to answer the phone when she’s engaging with the girls. Am I seeing this right? Does their dog have a magenta mohawk?

Sophie says she has no social life without her phone. Siggy tells her that being connected to the phone is a disconnect with the real world. She wants her son to hand over his phone as well, but Siggy’s father says he’s a good kid and to get off his back.

Teresa feels the family meeting was a success. Tomorrow is Milania’s 10th birthday and she wants to do something special.

When Milania gets home from school, a pink limo is waiting. The family goes to something called iFly, where you get in a chamber and float around like you’re skydiving. It reminds me of that scene in Willy Wonka when they steal the Fizzy Lifting Drinks. It looks like a lot of fun.

Pete and Jacqueline go ring shopping. Neither one of them believe it’s happening. Jacqueline says although Ashlee is 25, she still thinks of her as a little kid. We flash back to Ashlee being a jerkface in the past and getting kicked out of the house.

Milania says for her 11th birthday, she wants to go real sky diving. In her interview, Teresa talks about Joe not being there for Milania’s next birthday. She says when they got married, she never dreamed she’d even be having these conversations, but somehow they’ll get through it.

Dolores’s dog, Boo, is having kidney failure and I can’t bear hearing her talk about it. Jacqueline shows up with her own sledge hammer to help demo the kitchen. I’m sure she’s good at wrecking walls. Dolores’s business partner, Maz, calls her up, annoyed that she’s busy with her kitchen and not at work. She wonders if she’s sabotaging herself. She’s been divorced 18 years, and in her interview, Siggy suggests that Dolores start standing on her own.

Melissa suggests a girls trip to Crystal Springs over the weekend. Teresa wants to know who’s invited, and when Melissa hesitates, Teresa asks if Melissa really expects her to spend her first free weekend with Jacqueline. Melissa says it’s just to put things in a peaceful place and her girlfriends will be there with her.

Meanwhile, back at the kitchen, Dolores and Siggy talk to Jacqueline, and Jacqueline asks if this is a Teresa/Jacqueline intervention. Dolores says letting time go by will just create more animosity. Jacqueline acts like she’s on board with that, but no way I would trust her.

Teresa’s book, Turning the Tables, arrives in the mail. She reads the dedication to her daughters out loud and starts tearing up. She’s been on the NY Times Best Seller List three times and Joe tells her it’s a great accomplishment. Teresa tells him about going to Crystal Springs to celebrate her newfound freedom.

Next time, the girls trip happens, Teresa calls Joe to come pick her up, and Jacqueline gets stupid.

Fear the Walking Dead

Great, I have to remember all these people’s names again.

Nick wakes up next to a dead body. Sophia is in the doorway and tells him that things changed quickly. She says there’s a group headed south and he should come. He asks if there’s a place to go for someone like Celia. She says there are places that embrace the dead, but it’s dangerous on the road. He decides to head north. She gives him supplies and tells him it won’t be an easy trip.

Nick begins his journey and there’s a song part. It’s pretty desolate, no other people or zombies. He sees a couple of cars that look like they were in an accident. He flashes back to a thumb wrestling match with a girl when he was in rehab. She tells him he needs to make nice with his parents to get out more quickly and suggests they role play with her being his dad. Nick tells his “father” about how he used to be there, but isn’t any more. He gets a little emotional and the girl hugs him.

Back in the present, Nick comes across a town. He enters a house. It’s totally empty, without even any furniture. He makes a fire and has some food. His back is to an open door, which I don’t advise during a zombie apocalypse. Or maybe at any time.

Someone enters the house and wakes a sleeping Nick. It’s a woman and a little girl. The woman screeches at him in Spanish while hitting him with a baseball bat as the girl cowers in the corner. Nick quickly gathers up his stuff and gets out.

Further down the road, there are more cars, some with zombies in them. Since zombies can’t figure out seat belts, he reaches into one of the cars for supplies. He finds a radio. As he fiddles with it, a Jeep comes up the road and he ducks down behind a car. The Jeep stops and some guys with weapons get out..

They see a nearly dead man in a car, moaning, and spear him through the eye. They find it amusing and Nick starts to get concerned. Right then, the radio makes a noise and the guys know Nick is there. He runs and they chase him, shooting at him. He serpentines through a wooded area. Great, now he’s lost his backpack and the radio.

Nick stops to catch his breath and comes to an open field. We get a crane shot and it looks like he’s in the middle of nowhere. I’m assuming this is an all Nick episode? Nick examines a cactus, kicking a piece of it off to get to the inside. He tries to squeeze some liquid into his mouth and is unsuccessful. Dude, just, okay, he’s opening it up and chewing on the pieces. But they don’t stay down. Bummer. He takes a pee and drinks that. (Sorry.)

Nick hunkers down next to an abandoned truck. We flash back to rehab again. He and the girl are waiting for their parents. Madison shows up and Nick tells the girl good luck. The social worker tells Nick that he’s meeting with his mom in private for a moment.

Madison tells Nick his father isn’t coming. He was in an accident coming home. It was a head-on collision and he didn’t make it. Nick doesn’t take it well. His friend hears him yell and looks through the room window as his mother tries to comfort him.

Nick awakens to a pack of dogs that think he’s food. He beats them off and climbs to the top of the truck. Good thing they aren’t cats. Nick is seriously having the worst luck. The dogs suddenly stop and Nick sees a load of zombies coming toward them. The dogs attack the zombies who don’t really seem to react. Okay, the zombies eat the dogs. I guess they’re just slow.

Nick is baking on the top of this truck and the zombies are still hanging around. They suddenly notice him and head in his direction. He hears a horn and then gunshots. I guess the zombies do too, and go toward the noise. Nick jumps down from the truck and grabs a belt off of a zombie to use as a tourniquet. He’s able to walk among them since he’s covered in zombie blood. He imagines a female zombie is the girl from rehab and she’s talking to him.

40 miles to Tijuana. Nick continues to shuffle along and here come those guys in the Jeep again. Talk about a rock and a hard place. The guys start shooting at the zombies. WTF, Nick? The zombies get shot around him, but he’s totally focused on the front most guy. They lock eyes. When the dude realizes it’s Nick, he gets distracted, dtops his weapon and ammunition and the zombies attack. The guy who is driving the Jeep takes off like a rocket. Can’t say as I blame him. The zombies move on after eating their fill.

A group of three people see Nick through binoculars. One of them wants to help Nick, But Luci, who seems to be in charge, doesn’t want to. Nick falls to his knees as the zombies continue on. He again thinks about the girl in rehab. They’re in bed together and he’s reading a book his dad gave him. They do some heroin, so apparently their parents wasted the money on rehab. In the present, it begins to rain. Nick wakes up and opens his mouth, thirsty for water.

Nick limps into a town where there are normal dog sounds, but no people. It’s pretty big, so I’m thinking maybe this is Tijuana. He makes his way to a drug store. Nick throws things around, looking through the shelves, finding nothing of use. He goes into a barber shop where he wraps his wound. The three people who’d been watching him come in. He explains in broken Spanish that the bite is from a dog and asks for water. Luci says she knows someone who can help him. She tells Nick, “Vamos!” and even I know what that means.

They go to a medical clinic, where Alejandro, a pharmacist who speaks English, tells Nick he’s working on an infection and tends to the bite. Alejandro tells him he’s foolish; death is not to be feared, but it shouldn’t be pursued either. Nick tells Alejandro that it was safer walking with the zombies than dealing with the gunmen. Alejandro asks why he came all this way. Nick says he wants to be where the dead aren’t monstrous and Alejandro opens the double doors. Nick follows him to the street.

It’s like a normal place, with people walking around and kids playing. Nick is mesmerized. A soccer ball comes toward him. He kicks it and smiles.

Next time, Alejandro tells Nick it’s not his place, Travis and Madison deal with a lot of violence, and Madison tells Travis he has false hope.

Aug15

August 14, 2016 – The NJ Wives & Some Complaints

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

All I have to say about this season of MasterChef is, if by some fluke, Nathan wins, I’m never watching this show again.

This summer, TV watching has felt somewhat like when I worked in accounting and cash management. Most of the time, it was non-stop work, but there were always those couple of days out of the month where there wasn’t much to do and I’d catch up on personal phone calls. Most of the summer has been that couple of days.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

I have no idea what’s going on with this show. It was supposed to air at 8 pm and tennis was on. I repeatedly checked throughout the hour and it was still tennis. Or talking about tennis. Now I put it on at 8:50 and the show is already in progress and I don’t have a clue how long it’s been on. I’m also annoyed because this messes up my watching Return to Amish and Mary is hosting Christmas dinner. I could use a little Christmas, since it’s 110 degrees out.

Ok, I was able to catch the beginning the next time they aired it, and Dolores’s dog is having kidney issues. She gives ex-husband Frank a list of house reconstruction demands. She’s hoping to be able to pay him back for the years of his support by opening her own gym. They’ve owned gyms together before, but this time it’s all on her. He tells her to come by later so they can talk over the plans.

Melissa’s kids get ready for a fashion show at NY Fashion Week. In her interview, Melissa talks about how hard it is juggling work with the family. She tells Joe #2 that she invited Teresa to the show. They discuss how the Melissa/Teresa relationship is going. Melissa says she’ll feel like they’re really friends when she can disagree with Teresa without ducking. Joe tells her to just tell Teresa that she’s being a pita when she is because that’s what he does. She wisely responds that he can get away with it being Teresa’s brother.

Boring Jacqueline family stuff, with Siggy co-starring. In her interview, Jacqueline talks about how she’s glad Ashley is living at home. They talk about Melissa’s store opening and the rebuilding of Jacqueline and Teresa’s friendship. Siggy suggests she take baby steps and I think of Bill Murray in What About Bob?

Jacqueline visits Chris at work. He tells her to remember what Teresa and Joe #1 are going through when they get together. He says they might have underlying stress, so just forget the past and blow off anything weird. She says it will be interesting to see if the friendship chemistry is still there. What I don’t get is why everything has to be such a big deal? I have a lot of friends, but only several close friends. It’s not like you have to be conjoined twins with everyone.

Siggy has to take her daughter’s phone away. It’s the second time she’s gotten in trouble with it at school. She gives Sophie a lecture on responsibility and rules and how you need good grades to get a decent job. Here’s where I came in the first time.

Teresa, Melissa, Joe #2 and a passel of children go to a fashion show that some of the kids are involved in. They go out to eat afterward and discuss how we should all support and lift each other up.

Dolores meets Frank at the gym. They discuss getting more members and the class schedule. She says the ew gym isn’t just a hobby, but her independence.

Siggy and her kids sit down for some diner food. The kids talk about the difference between staying with their father and with her. They complain that she treats them like slaves. She says she’s the one who has to take care of the important stuff and their dad gets fun weekends. It sounds like it’s the same as most normal households where the parents live together. They try to talk to her, but she keeps interrupting and then starts to cry when her son tells her she can’t last a minute listening to him.

Joe #1 chases around with Milania (or one of those girls with an “a’ at the end of their name). Teresa tries to hurry him up because they’re going to Jacqueline’s house. Teresa is hesitant about the whole thing and we flash back to the last fight between Jacqueline and Teresa. Milania is now busy goofing around with a Sumo wrestler costume and can’t get up from the floor. Finally, Joe and Teresa make it to the car.

Joe #1 gifts Jacqueline with what looks like an entire case of his homemade wine. Teresa is excited to see Jacqueline’s kids. Joe and Chris talk while Teresa helps in the kitchen. Teresa says she just wants peace and to keep toxic people out of her life. Jacqueline says that Teresa had her own thing going on with both her and Melissa, but Teresa thinks they ganged up on her. Jacqueline talks about Teresa not talking to her about the tabloid articles, and how some of them were true. Teresa says she had no idea about it at the time and is surprised Jacqueline would think she did. I can tell that Jacqueline is gearing up to be an insensitive a-hole.

Teresa says her real friends believed she didn’t know what was going on and there must have been a disconnect between them. In her interview, Teresa says this is the last thing she wanted to rehash. Teresa tells Jacqueline that she’s hurt about her lack of trust. Teresa tells her that her brother told her not to trust Jacqueline. Jacqueline calls Joe #2 and asks him what he said. Joe is like, this was a million years ago and it’s up to you two so-called adults to work things out between you. Jacqueline hangs up and Teresa tells her that she’s not interested in anyone who’s not loyal.

Teresa reminds Jacqueline that she never questioned her when she was going through some legal issues. Jacqueline says hers wasn’t a federal bankruptcy fraud case. Teresa says that was a low blow and it’s time to leave. Teresa recaps what was said to Chris. In his interview, Chris says the girls always ruin things with some emotional nonsense. Joe says the girls always f-things up.

Jacquelie keeps going on about how you can’t compare the two cases they went through. Teresa says she did her time and took responsibility for it. Jacqueline says she doesn’t own it and had blamed her brother. Teresa says now Jacqueline is nuts, let’s go. I actually don’t remember Teresa blaming her brother for anything, but that also might have been something in the tabloids and I don’t read them often. Jacqueline insults her all the way out the door. Joe guzzles his wine before he leaves.

Chris asks what the trigger was. Jacqueline says Teresa was the one who brought up the past first and when she “came back at her,” she couldn’t take it. So much for Chris’s advice in the office. I don’t like Jacqueline. I feel badly that she has the pressure of raising an autistic child, but she’s nasty. I don’t know if she’s bored an likes to stir the pot or what, but she definitely has a ratchet attitude and looks for problems.

Teresa tells Joe #1 about Jacqueline calling Joe #2 and how insulting she was. I’m totally with her, and calling Teresa’s brother was out of line. It’s like she wanted to cause trouble between them. Joe says if you can’t repair what’s broken, sometimes it’s better to walk away. Teresa is like, I just got home, and I don’t need all this. Joe agrees that Jacqueline is a bitch.

Next time, Jacqueline babbles to Melissa, Teresa explains what happened with Jacqueline to Joe #2, and Siggy gets all weepy about family and tradition.

Aug1

July 31, 2016 – Shah Art Doesn’t Imitate Life & NJ Teresa Steps Out

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Shahs of Sunset

When we last left the Shahs, we were at MJ’s renewal party and Tommy just asked her to marry him. The doves are released and kissing happens. Vida starts complaining and tells MJ to get over there like she’s a dog. Asa tries to calm Vida down and she just gets louder, insisting that MJ is in love with the wrong person. In her interview, Asa says in the Persian culture, you respect your elders, but she’s having a hard time with Vida acting the fool.

Tommy gets emotional and tries to talk to Vida. She suggests they look at the ring with a magnifying glass. MJ is disgusted, embarrassed, disappointed and hurt. Reza is starting to freak, saying he can’t be in the cemetery anymore. Everyone gets in their cars, leaving the scene of what Vida thinks is a crime.

MJ can’t believe Vida tried to bulldoze one of the happiest moments of her life. The next morning, she’s loving Tommy and her ring. She says if Vida doesn’t get with the program, she’s cutting her out.

GG is getting her hair done. Asa wants to take some photos of GG taking a selfie. Her project is called Together and she wanted pictures of everyone, regardless of whether they’re coupling or not. Everyone is coming to the opening or revealing or whatever it is. GG says she’s tired of feeling like she needs to be on guard with Reza, but Asa is like, who cares?

Reza has decided on a property in Palm Springs. He hasn’t seen it yet, so he and Adam are driving over. Adam wants to replace some things, but Reza says it’s a rental and they’re not doing any work on it. Now that they own properties together, Adam talks about getting their own place and having some kids. Reza says you can’t live the Hart to Hart lifestyle with kids.

Asa’s mom comes to visit her, bearing the OK! magazine that has a piece about Asa’s caftans. They both get super excited when they see the article. Even I get excited. I like Asa. She works hard and deserves some recognition. And caftans are  so much more practical than diamond water. She talks about her family’s blind support and how they all made something life-changing happen.

MJ meets Vida for a snack. They exchange pleasantries. A-hole Vida says Tommy ruined the day for her and MJ points out that it wasn’t her day. She says that she has respect, love and patience for Vida, and it keeps her mouth shut, but Tommy deserves better. No surprise, Vida doesn’t react well. In her interview, MJ says Vida fears that she’ll abandon her for Tommy. Vida insists that Tommy isn’t the right person for her. MJ says sorry, and have fun being alone. Vida makes a pouty face.

Mike and Reza meet for a run in the park. They’re trying to get back in shape after some serious slacking off. Reza has set the time for an hour, but after 15 minutes, Mike is done, and they sit on a bench. Reza talks about how Mike was able to forgive GG. He says he thinks she has a serious mental problem. In his interview, Reza talks about how GG said she had a video of him having sex with someone at the gym. He says she systematically goes through all of them. Mike says he’s sad that GG doesn’t put her energy into something positive.

It’s the day of Asa’s art show. I know it’s an art show now because that’s what it said on the screen. GG is giving herself a snail mask (Korean skincare!) and Shervin calls, since they’re attending together. GG is afraid of losing her sh*t with Reza, but she says she’s going to steer clear of him.

Asa is at the gallery getting herself and the art pieces ready. She’s written something about each picture of her friends and family. Reza shows up first and she reads some of them to him. Reza is annoyed that GG never apologizes for anything she does. He says they’ve been friends for five years and all she does is cause problems and needs to be accountable for her actions. Asa just wants everyone to be able to talk to one another.

Shervin brings Annalise along to the art show. She seems relatively normal, so I’m not sure how she’s going to gel with this group.

Commercial break with important information – the two-part Shahs reunion starts Tuesday, 9 pm.

Asa is impressed with her parents having stayed together for 42 years, and says there have been some dicey moments. There’s a photo of Asa and Jermaine, looking toward the future. I love the one of Mike and his dog, who is a much better partner than Jessica. Mike talks about how he messed up, learned from his mistake, and has no choice but to move on. Reza compares being married to how a stew gets better when it’s been marinating for a few days. Shervin’s photo is with Annalise and he’s happy with how things are moving ahead.

Asa gives a speech about togetherness. She says when you love each other, that’s what’s at the core, and you stick it out no matter what. Asa gets a bouquet of red roses. They’re from GG, apologizing for her past bad behavior. Is she doing a 12-step program?

Mike is next. Another bouquet with an apology. And one for MJ and Shervin. I’m impressed with the apologies because they’re very specific. Whenever someone apologizes, I always like to know exactly what they’re apologizing for. Reza gets one too. GG includes her lie about the video. Asa says GG must have had a life-shifting epiphany.

Reza says he has a confession. He wrote all the letters. In her interview, GG says she’s sad, embarrassed and disgusted. He says all of them deserve an apology from GG. My mouth is hanging open. He says it comes from a place of compassion and hope, and that he knows she wishes that she could do something like that. He’s hoping the next one comes directly from her.

It’s not well-received. MJ says something like this has to come from her. GG says that some of the issues in the “apologies” are things she’s gotten over with that person and now they’re being dredged back up again. Asa says that Reza told the truth and GG should make it hers. Asa is a decent person, which is why she’s not absolutely livid that Reza chose her art show as a venue to make his point. I get where he’s coming from, and it’a a unique way to try and make someone else’s light bulb come one, but how unbelievably rude to take the spotlight away from Asa. I probably don’t have to tell you that I wouldn’t be so decent to let that pass.

Asa makes a toast. She says there are a lot of feelings going on. (She’s diplomatic too!) She talks about her parents telling her you need love, patience and forgiveness to make a relationship wotk. MJ says it’s never going to be the same. Reza asks if GG has a video of him and I don’t catch what she says, but he says he can’t have anything to do with her anymore and tells her to grow up. In her interview, she claims that someone told her there’s a video out there. She tells Reza she’s sorry he’s so distressed. Asa keeps trying to intervene, but Reza and GG keep talking over her. GG says she doesn’t know what to be – she wants to rage, but she wants to rise above.

Rage wins. Reza and Adam are leaving, and she takes off her shoes. We all know what that means. I just feel badly for Asa, once again being embarrassed in front of friends and family.

GG takes off after Reza and blindsides Adam. There’s all kinds of screaming and yelling and Shervin holds her back. Her sister tells GG to put he shoes on and get in the car. Reza decides to go home. He says he doesn’t wish GG harm and hopes she finds her way, but it doesn’t include him.

Asa says none of them is perfect, but it’s what happens afterward that’s important. Each of them talks about the group and how they’ve always stayed together. Reza talks about it being family and it’s the same as being in a real family, but he’s done with GG. GG says they love hard and hate hard, but she’s hanging on to hope for tomorrow.

Everyone leaves. The camera pans out to the title of the art show: Together 17,903 Days

No preview of the reunion.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

The grand opening of Melissa’s boutique, Envy, is this week. Husband Joe is taking care of the kids and it’s not going well, especially since he’s trying to work at the same time.

Teresa talks about the rumors regarding her and Joe #1 divorcing. She says she has old school values and wonders who started it. Her lawyer says the final restitution check has been paid, which is a big relief.

Siggy meets Jacqueline for lunch. They talk about their kids. Siggy says every day there’s a fight over the phone with her teenage daughter. She says it’s easier to get along with her ex-husband. They talk about the party and Siggy says she really enjoyed meeting Teresa. She feels badly about all the articles coming out. Jacqueline says the tabloids are a touchy subject with Teresa.

Joe #2 is on a work phone call while the kids go crazy. Geez, at their age, I went to work with my father and wouldn’t have even thought of behaving like that.

Teresa is doing an audio version of her book, Turning the Tables. They begin with the introduction and she immediately starts to cry. It’s hard for her to talk about leaving the kids and we flash back. She says at the rate she’s going, she’s never going to get through the book. After that, it’s on to a publishing meeting. Teresa talks about how she and Joe #1 have grown closer through the trials and tribulations. The title of the book is discussed and Teresa says people attribute it to her flipping a table (flash back!), but it’s really about how her life flipped around. She’s shown the cover of the book.

Joe #2 calls Melissa, saying she has to come home immediately because he has a work problem. She says she can’t and he’d promised her that he’d take care of the kids today. He says the queen can have her job back.

Dolores’s daughter, Gabby, discusses the future with her while she bathes her guinea pig. Dolores talks about the difference when she was growing up and how she’s always stressed the importance of an education. Somehow the guinea pig jumps the tub and this is the highlight of the scene.

Chris is developing some popcorn and is hoping the new recipe works. (I’m not kidding. He’s going into the popcorn business) He says trying to sell the house has been a bust, but he thinks this could be the answer to their financial problems. Jacqueline says she didn’t marry him for his money, since he didn’t have any, and he’s been her rock.

Joe #2 says he’s happy for Melissa’s business acumen, but he just ate peanuts for dinner. Don’t they have a microwave? And what did the kids eat?

Stuff with Siggy and her kids. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz……….

Chris has a popcorn meeting. He says having a son with autism has made finding snacks a challenge, and this has no gluten, GMOs or even popcorn in it. It’s made entirely of purified air. He says there’s a trade show coming up and he needs a revision of the logo/box/whatever in a few days. He wants something more cheerful than what the team has come up with.

Teresa is doing a rock climbing thing with her daughter, Gabriella, so they can have bonding time. Siggy and her daughter, Sophie, join them. While the girls do some climbing, Siggy talks to Teresa, asking her where the tabloids get such crap. In her interview, Teresa says maybe years ago she would have been offended with the same questions. Siggy says what brings her and Teresa together is a lack of control of what comes out of their mouths. Dolores joins them and they talk about going to Melissa’s opening.

Melissa is getting her make-up done. She says she wants to set a good example for her daughter in that you can be a successful businesswoman as well as a wife and mother. Better not ask Joe #2 about that. She talks about her father dying in a car accident when she was 17, and how she misses him whenever there’s a milestone in her life. In the car, Joe tells her that her father is right next to her and she doesn’t even know it

Siggy calls Jacqueline, who goes into shock about Teresa’s non-reaction to Siggy’s tabloid question.

Melissa and Joe #2 have press pictures taken before the opening. A mini red carpet. The champagne flows. It’s Teresa’s first event where there is going to be press, and Gia is accompanying her. Joe #2 talks to Chris about Joe #1. Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, thinks the new Teresa is just a publicity stunt and it’s just a matter of time before she goes back to her shallow, nasty self. Ashley, whose finest moment on this show was pulling Danielle Staub‘s hair out of her head.

Teresa sees Kathy. We flash back to Kathy calling her crazy, and Teresa says she’s learned to be emotionally detached. Chris asks Teresa where Joe #1 is, and she tells him it’s Joe’s grandmother’s birthday. Sure it is. Melissa thanks everyone for their support with a special thanks to Joe #2 and her partners. She tells them to shop and have fun. I actually like her merchandise. It’s sophisticated, but youthful.

Chris and Teresa chit-chat. Joe #2 tells Melissa that even though he was giving her a hard time, she’s still the best wife ever. Melissa says once he starts seeing sales, he’ll have a whole different perspective. There’s a fashion show and Joe #2 struts the runway in a snappy red number.

Teresa clips Joe #1’s toenails and I gag. Afterward, they do yoga. Well, Teresa tries to do yoga while Joe acts like it’s sexy time. She kisses him and tells him he eats too much garlic. He says she should be glad because that means he’s not kissing anyone else. Oh, I see. Garlic is reserved for the wife. She tells him if he cheats on her, it’s a deal breaker. Joe has seemed like he’s on Valium since before Teresa went to prison, and reacts with a placid look.

Chris calls. He tells Joe he was hoping to see him at Melissa’s opening and invites them for dinner on Friday. We flash back to the last dinner there, which didn’t go well. Joe #1 says that you forgive, but you don’t forget.

Next time, a children’s fashion show, Siggy wants to redecorate, dinner at Jacqueline’s house, and Teresa and Jacqueline argue.

Jul25

July 24, 2016 – Shah MJ Celebrates Renewal & NJ Wives Celebrate Dolores

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Shahs of Sunset

I really wish they’d change their opening song. It’s the worst.

Shervin visits MJ. She’s having a yard sale at a friend’s house, and she’s going through racks of clothes. She hands him various dresses that have bad memories attached and talks about them. Shervin says when he looks at his clothes, he sees a black shirt. Ha-ha! I’ve always said that a woman has a story for every piece of clothing she owns. Asa joins them. They pile the car with stuff and MJ thinks she could possibly have OJ’s glove in all the mess.

GG claims she doesn’t have time for a job, since she’s busy all day with things like manicures and massages. Sigh. She’s having a meeting with her acupuncturist. She says it really helps. Better than that. She says it’s like heroin. Really now? In her interview, GG talks about Reza not believing that she’s really sick. I do believe she’s sick, and I know what it’s like to be sick and not look sick, but I also think there’s something else going on there.

The garage sale friend doesn’t have a name. The caption just says “MJ’s Friend.” Yeah, I don’t blame you, MJ’s friend. I might not want anyone to know who I was either. MJ starts pulling things out that she doesn’t want to sell. A surprising amount of people show up, even though this doesn’t look like a real active street. MJ keeps trying to intercept the sales, while Asa is pushing them, giving customers suggestions on what to wear with what. Suddenly, MJ gets with the program and helps move things along. I understand. I have an eBay store. It can be hard to let go of the emotional attachment, even though you know you’re never wearing that size 6 neon green micro-mini from the 80s again. As Don Aslett says, keep the memory, get rid of the object.

Adam wants to change his last name, since he and Reza are married now. When they get to the window with the paperwork, Adam suggests Reza change his too, but Reza isn’t receptive to the idea. The clerk tells them they need a marriage license for Adam’s status to change. They never got one because of the wedding being a surprise. Oops! Forgot about that. Now they’re going to have another ceremony to make it official, because technically, they’re not married.

Asa is working on her couples portrait project. Originally, she was going to shoot Mike and Jessica together, but now it’s Mike by himself. Asa is glad that he’s facing his truth. Even though he’s going through with it, Mike feels dejected, being photographed with his dogs rather than his woman. I actually like the dogs better than I did Jessica. In his interview, Mike asks how much you can fight for something that’s a lost cause. He says he feels like a failure. The photos are fantastic. Mike says they’re like a funeral for him – the death of his relationship.

GG and MJ video chat. MJ is having a renewal party. GG asks if MJ is having vaginal rejuvenation, but it’s more of a renewal in the spiritual sense. MJ wants to celebrate moving forward in her life. She tells GG to clear her afternoon and wear black. She’s going to commemorate a rite of passage.

Reza is happy about having another wedding ceremony. Asa comes by his and Adam’s place. She looks amazing in a figure-hugging white blouse and black skirt. She’s usually wearing a caftan, or something else loose-fitting, so it’s a surprising change. In a good way. MJ arrives as the witness. Adam reads some vows he wrote, since he didn’t get a chance the first time. In his interview, Reza says it’s the wedding he imagined, with just Asa and MJ there. The license is signed, making it official.

Shervin is going ring shopping with Tommy. The last time Shervin was at the jewelry store was to pick out a ring for an engagement that didn’t work out, so he tries not to have flashbacks. Tommy picks out a pretty standard-looking ring, but the band is patterned, giving it something extra. The clerk quotes a price of $8500, but Shervin bargains for Tommy, countering at $7000. They meet in the middle at $7500. Tommy hopes that MJ’s answer will be yes.

You know those places where you can get together with friends or a date and make pottery? MJ goes to a similar place where you bake stuff. She’s meeting her mother there. Why? Why doesn’t she cut this cancer out of her life? Another sigh. She asks Vida to come to her renewal party. Wet blanket Vida says what renewal, since MJ hasn’t changed. MJ asks the loaded question, is her mother proud of her and Vida is like, as far from it as you can get. They’re decorating a cake together, and Vida just takes what MJ puts on the cake right off, saying it looks horrible. Honestly, she just takes everything off with her hand and plops it on the table. It’s indicative of the way she wipes out any opinion MJ has and forces her own.

Somehow, Vida gets on the topic of MJ’s love life. Vida does not like Tommy and in her interview, MJ says Vida is headed to the bleachers. I’d have put her outside the stadium long ago. There is seriously something wrong with this woman.

MJ’s outfit for the party rocks! She looks like a fairy queen bride, in white with a crown of flowers and matching bouquet. She’s having the ceremony at a cemetery. There’s a casket so she can say a proper good-by to her past and symbolically bury her bullsh*t. A choral group is performing and white doves are going to be released. It must be fun to have money to throw away on nonsense! She gives the choir musical and apparel directions. The doves wait, possibly terrified, in their cages.

Tommy has a flask he keeps nipping from, as he’s picking this party – or whatever it is – to propose. There’s even a bar. I’m just amazed and wonder how much she gave the cemetery owner to let her do this. GG is a little freaked and surprisingly respectful of where she is. Everyone gets a drink and sits.

Wait for it…

Vida asks if Jessica is coming and Mike answers with another question, asking if MJ’s dad is coming. Vida is like, of course not, and then she asks Reza about Jessica, since Mike isn’t answering. Mike tries to make light of it, but Vida gets insistent. Several of the Shahs ask for another drink. Vida checks out the casket and Mike tells her to jump in. Obviously, I laugh. She says no wonder Jessica isn’t there and he says no wonder her husband left her. In his interview, Mike thinks Vida is there just to ruin MJ’s event and is pissed that no one ever stands up to her. I don’t blame him one bit, although I do understand when Shervin says that it’s their culture not to talk like that to an elder. I don’t like her either, but MJ wanted her there, so he should at least respect that.

Everyone is telling Mike to shut up. Even GG says they need to respect their friend’s mother. In his interview, Mike says culturally, he screwed up, but who would blame him? Tommy takes him aside and tells him to knock it off, because even though she’s a maniac, this is his future mother-in-law. Mike promises to behave.

MJ drives up in a cool, huge car. That’s about as much as I know about cars. She walks toward to casket, the choir preceding her, humming something that sounds like an old spiritual. MJ was specific in not wanting lyrics. MJ stands before the casket and makes a speech. She acknowledges all of them and their support. She talks about forgiveness and moving forward. She throws some costume jewelry into the casket to symbolize being fake, she throws in some blush in to symbolize Vida no longer making decisions for her, and something else that looks like bra pads, talking about how she found Tommy. Tommy walks up and says how happy she makes him and how he’s her best friend. He starts to cry and it’s actually very touching. He tells her that he wishes her father was there and gets down on one knee and proposes. I probably like Tommy the most of all the cast members. He can be juvenile at times, but he has a good heart and seems genuine. Actually, that’s one thing the whole cast has going for it – they all seem real, not like the Housewives, who often strike me as just vying for camera time.

Tommy pulls out the ring and tells MJ how much he loves her. He asks her to marry him and MJ says yes. All the friends start to cheer. Vida must be having a coronary. The doves are released.

Vida comes up to the front, calling, “Mercedes! Mercedes!” as MJ (Mercedes to Vida) and Tommy kiss. She starts to walk out, saying she shouldn’t have come.

Next time, the finale (sniff), Asa is in OK magazine, Adam and Reza conflict about having children, Vida acts like a lunatic, and Reza and GG tangle.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Melissa is going into the city (Manhattan for the unenlightened) to pick out merchandise for the boutique. She hassles husband Joe on the phone.

Teresa is pretty tired, saying that it’s great to be back, but it’s been a whirlwind, which she pronounces “worldwind,” and I type it that way before I go, wait a second… Since she can’t walk the kids to the bus due to her ankle bracelet, she hollers for husband Joe to help. Dog Frankie tries to escape while all this is going on.

There are a bunch of whiny Jacqueline flashbacks where she wonders what Teresa wants from her. Several. Stemming from one, one paragraph text. A short paragraph.

Teresa talks about how her marriage has always been “old school,” where Joe took care of the finances and she stayed out of it. She says she got into a little trouble for that – ha-ha-ha – so now she’s paying attention. Jacqueline knocks at the door unannounced.

Teresa wonders why Jacqueline is just showing up. She asks how Jacqueline’s New Year’s Eve was and Jacqueline stammers. Joe makes an appearance and says hello. Jacqueline says she’s getting mixed messages from Teresa, who wonders how that happened, since she’s only been home a week. Jacqueline says it goes back to when they last talked in Arizona, and hadn’t really defined where they stood. Teresa says when they got back was when her problems with the law started and she was told not to discuss it with anyone. She says it isn’t that she didn’t want to be friends anymore.

Jacqueline brings up two reunions ago when Teresa says she didn’t miss her. I have to stop here to mention that Jacqueline sounds kind of selfish. It’s no secret that Teresa stood trial and then went to prison, so how does Jacqueline make this even one iota about her? Teresa probably wasn’t thinking about missing anyone except her own self in New Jersey. Teresa says she’s done a lot of reflection and praying and has learned forgiveness since then. Jacqueline asks where they go from here and Teresa suggests rebuilding the friendship. They hug and talk about their kids. Teresa tells Jacqueline about her new love of yoga. In her interview, Teresa says it’s like the old days. We get TMI about jail sex and they discuss Teresa’s homecoming. More TMI.

Teresa suddenly remembers that she has an orthodontist appointment that the doctor came in early for. That’s what happens when people just show up out of nowhere at your door. Self-centered Jacqueline doesn’t even apologize.

Melissa meets with her business partner. Jacquie has a store in Florida and Melissa admires her business acumen. Not so much her style though, as they disagree on what Melissa should be carrying in her store. Melissa wants it to seem like you’re walking into her closet and has the final vote, since it is her store.

Siggy visits Dolores. Dolores wants to redecorate, as the house is frozen in time from when she raised her kids there. They discuss Dolores’s birthday party and how they’d like to see Teresa and Jacqueline get their friendship back on track. As if on cue, Jacqueline shows up. I wonder if she called first. They open some champagne. I liked champagne for about 10 minutes when I was in my 30s.

Jacqueline tells them about her meeting with Teresa. Siggy and Dolores act like two cheerleaders, jumping up and down when Jacqueline says she and Teresa are going to rebuild their friendship. They toast to the new year and new beginnings.

Melissa visits Teresa. Teresa tells her about Jacqueline dropping by. In her interview, Melissa says Jacqueline is the type who wants answers, while Teresa just wants to move along. She hopes the kumbaya lasts.

Dolores and family gather for pizza and Italian take-out. Her ex lives down the block and everyone is friendly with everyone, including the ex’s girlfriend. They tell their kids the story of how the broke up and remained friends.

Siggy is meeting Teresa to plan Dolores’s party. She talks about herself in the third person in her interview and I’m like, please don’t do that. She wrote a book on relationships called Write Your Own Fairy Tale, which I vaguely remember seeing in the bookstore. She says she’s a true blue friend and likes old school people.

Theresa and Siggy meet at the restaurant where they’re having Dolores’s party and introduce themselves. Siggy likes Teresa right away. She shows Teresa the leopard patterned invitations. Dolores is going to wear red, with everyone else wearing accents of leopard. Siggy is concerned that guests might have to buy a leopard accessory, but Teresa tells her everyone in New Jersey has something leopard. I have to admit, she might be right.

Dolores’s paternal grandmother is 102 and reminds me of Big Edie from Grey Gardens. How come my grandmother wasn’t like that? Dolores is having her family over and they talk about how well she and her ex get along. She wonders if it has anything to do with her being single. Dolores also looks an awful lot like a brunette Dina and I keep doing double-takes, thinking Dina is back on the show.

It’s party time! Let the leopard wearing commence! Everything looks amazing. Teresa isn’t thrilled to see Kathy, but moves past it. She makes a toast to true and new friendships. In her interview, Dolores says she’s not keen on celebrating her birthday, but feels blessed that her friends have gathered in her honor and are showing the love.

Rosie shows up and feels like Teresa doesn’t hate her, but just doesn’t want to be bothered. Melissa invites everyone to her boutique opening. Siggy asks for funny stories about Dolores, with one guest telling them while another two act it out. Melissa volunteers first, talking about how Joe #2 had the hots for Dolores when they were kids. Teresa goes next and tells another prison sex story, which confuses me since it’s not about Delores, but maybe I missed something.

Afterwards, Melissa asks about Jacqueline and Teresa’s new friendship. In her interview, Melissa tells us that things are changin’ in Jersey. Dolores thanks everyone for being there for her. A leopard icing-ed cake with a sparkler in it is presented.

There’s a discussion of calories. Teresa asks Siggy about her husband and more TMI happens. Finally, it’s time to go home and Teresa is the designated driver for a drunk Melissa. I’m kind of surprised that the court allowed Teresa to go to a birthday party. Although it might classify as work. They call Joe #2 from the car, and tell him how drunk Melissa is. She’s actually pretty funny. They get to the house and Teresa helps her inside.

Next time, a champagne toast to Melissa’s boutique, Chris tells Jacqueline it’s becoming tough to pay the bills (tell me about it), and it’s getting close to Joe #1‘s jail time.

Jul18

July 17, 2016 – West Coast Shahs & East Coast Wives

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Shahs of Sunset

Reza and his mother go out to lunch. She’s very happy that Reza has Adam to share his life with. Reza points out that most traditional Persian parents wouldn’t feel that way. He tells her that Adam loves their culture, which pleases the both of them. Reza asks if she’s going to Oklahoma to meet Adam’s family, but she says no. She has bad memories about going their with his father. In his interview, Reza says that his father would have gotten a “D” in parenting, while she got an “A.” They laugh about something, but I don’t hear it because the dogs started barking.

Mike meets with his business partner, Edd. Edd who stutters when he spells his name. In his interview, Mike says he’s been spending a lot of money on his shoe line and ignored the old adage of not putting all your eggs in one basket. The shoes are being manufactured in Mexico and a big launch event has been planned at Kitson. Mike is concerned about the shoes being ready on time.

MJ and Tommy go to some batting cages. MJ says they’ve been nesting, so it was time to get out and do something. MJ will not have to worry about the MLB knocking on her door any time soon. Tommy talks about bringing their future child there. MJ is less than enthusiastic, but in her interview tells us she isn’t sure if she’s ready, even though the doctor says now is the time. She definitely wants marriage first. What a concept.

Adam and Reza are in Palm Springs with Asa along for the ride. Reza says their dog’s anal glands need to be expressed and I have all kinds of sympathy for him, as well as thinking better him than me, being the owner of tiny dogs myself.

Reza and Adam are looking for a property to rent out. Asa goes with them to look at a house. We’re in agreement that it’s all kinds of hideous, with random patterns of tile absolutely everywhere. Reza assumes whoever remodeled was legally blind.

GG, who is wearing a vest that I totally covet, meets Shervin for lunch. Shervin asks GG what the blip happened in Belize at the ruins. GG feels that Reza has no business in her medical business, considering that he’s never even been to a doctor’s appointment with her. Sherwin wonders how GG and Reza got to the place they’re at. GG says she couldn’t just sit back while Reza was making fun of her, and asks Shervin why he’s justifying what Reza did. He suggests that rather than jumping the gun, she hear others out. In her interview, GG says she tried to be the bigger person a few times, but it backfired.

Asa is hauling some chairs up a mountain for a photo session with Reza and Adam for her couples project. They’re the same chairs that Adam and Reza got married in. We also learn that Asa is still dating Jermaine Jackson and will be including a picture of the two of them. She tells Reza and Adam to just be in the moment.

For whatever insane reason, Analise wants to see Shervin for a second date. Since she lives in Australia, they’ve mostly video chatted and texted. I have no clue why this gorgeous woman, who seems like she actually has a brain, wants to get involved with this dweeb, who lives halfway across the globe, no less. Asa has taken pictures of them as well, and Shervin says Analise has to come and see them because he doesn’t know how to use the internet.

Asa visits Mike. Mike shows her the shoe samples. They’re okay – well, maybe not that shocking pink pair – but don’t look like anything new. Mike says he went to temple for the first time in a long time, and assessed his life. Asa says he’s experiencing amazing growth and needs to present that to Jessica and woo her back. She’s been rebuffing all of his attempts at communication, so Mike and Asa decide to work on an email together. Asa gives him a simple paragraph, asking to meet with Jessica. We flash back to better days. Mike says he wishes Jessica would give him the chance to show her who he’s become.

Reza and MJ go for ice cream. They discuss Reza and Adam’s relationship. Reza says he has a hard time with the word “husband.” MJ tells him he’s still hung up on traditional roles. Reza tells MJ about his cousin seeing Jessica out on the town dressed in hoochie-mama clothes. They try calling her and the number is no longer working. Reza says she’s gone for real and his heart is breaking for Mike. He tells MJ that Mike needs to start figuring out life post Jessica.

There’s a problem with the shoes at customs and are they’re stuck in Mexico. Mike has to actually drive down to handle things himself. He says whatever could go wrong, is, and he’s just found out that Jessica disconnected her phone. Their guy calls and says he has all the paperwork, but customs is closed on Saturday.

Mike calls the Kitson rep and explains about the customs problem, saying that he and Edd are going to San Diego and will get the shoes there in time for the event. Dude isn’t pleased, but says keep him updated.

Finally, the shoes make it across the border. Now they just have to get them back in time for the launch party.

It’s two hours to the launch and they’re still 80 miles away from LA. Mike’s people had taken the shoes out of the boxes, flattened the boxes, and put everything in their luggage. Smart. Now comes the part where everything got mixed up and they have to put it all back together.

The launch party starts. Asa looks amazing in a silky, off-white jumpsuit that drapes her beautifully. It’s 6:10; the party is 6 to 8, but Mike and the shoes are still in traffic. Mike does some woolgathering, thinking about how Jessica would have been his support in this situation if they were still together. Asa talks to Mike’s parents, telling them how great the samples were. MJ shows up, making a big deal out of Asa’s jumpsuit, so it’s not just me.

Asa texts Mike, asking where he is. Edd says to tell her they’ll be there soon. Mike hasn’t been texting anyone back because he can only think of rude responses. The party is pretty crowded at this point, but as long as there’s liquor, I see no reason why it still can’t be a success. Reza avoids GG.

Still 25 miles away. Even I feel agitated. Mike is afraid that by the time they get there, the venue is going to be closed. Um…it might be a good idea to text someone back.

At last, Mike arrives. He’s touched at how his family and friends are there to be supportive. He gives a little speech about getting the shoes there and thanks everybody. Lots of sales happen, but Asa’s father passes on the pink pair. Reza asks how Mike is feeling with Jessica out of the picture and Mike says he’s just going to have to go on, as Celine Dion plays softly in the background (not really). Asa says something philosophical about ends and beginnings. Mike gets all zen.

A few months later, Kitson went out of business.

Next time, Reza finds out he and Adam aren’t technically married, Tommy goes ring shopping, and Mike gets into it with Vida. I can’t wait to see that.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

We go back to Teresa’s release date and her lawyer giving a press conference. Jacqueline gets all choked up and says she never stopped caring. Bleh. I don’t like Jacqueline. We flash back to her making fun of Teresa’s message and I like her even less. Jacqueline wonders if Teresa is sincere. She and Dolores make fun of Teresa having a new car even though they don’t know any details about it.

Melissa is excited about Teresa coming for Christmas Eve. As they left things, they were at peace, but not really settled. She’s trying not to judge Teresa for not putting her on the visitor list

Teresa and her daughters are having their eyebrows waxed at home as the paparazzi camp outside. Teresa calls brother Joe regarding the logistics in getting her to his house. We flash back to the Giudice family Christmas cards. This year, a magazine is footing the bill. Teresa has decided to take advantage of the amount the tabloids are willing to pay for her photo and I don’t blame her. She looks fabulous and is wearing a red, distressed cardigan that would be perfect for me. Joe picks her up for the party.

We flash back to the sprinkle cookie incident. In her interview, Melissa makes fun of the whole thing. She says Teresa walked in like she’d only taken a trip to the mall, but she could see how much she’d been through in her eyes. Teresa is thrilled to see her parents, and happy that her father is still with them, as he’s had some health issues. Husband Joe says the prayer before dinner. Joe gets Christmas mixed up with Easter and Melissa nearly chokes on her wine. Teresa suggests he go to church more. I’d add, and pay attention.

Melissa asks Teresa about how the bracelet thing works. They go into the kitchen and Teresa tells Melissa she’d like to get back to the way they used to be early on. Melissa says she would too. Teresa says her brother would be happy about it, but Melissa says she doesn’t want to be friends just for him. She says sometimes she’s felt like it was just on the surface. Teresa says sometimes she doesn’t feel like it’s genuine either. Melissa says she feels like Teresa is a sister to her and Teresa tells her to show it then. It’s a tense moment and in his interview, Joe says the two of them talking makes him nervouc.

Teresa brings up the christening. Melissa doesn’t want to go back to the past, but Teresa says that’s where snowballed and Melissa should have stuck with her no matter what. We flash back to the first reunion with Melissa, where Teresa was ganged up on. Teresa says Melissa should have shut down what the others were saying. We flash back to more arguments. They both admit to wrongs and say from here on out, they’ll have each other’s backs. They shake hands and hug it out.

Dolores is having a therapy session. She talks about her husband cheating on her when she was pregnant and their subsequent divorce because he wouldn’t give up his mistress. Nice. She got engaged again, but got another winner, and moved back to her old house. The therapist says she has to figure out what’s important to her and stop people pleasing. (Two hundred bucks, please!) Dolores says because of the way she grew up, she’s not used to talking about her feelings.

Gia wants to go out New Year’s Eve. Teresa asks her brother if he can imagine what their father would have said to that. She says they spent their New Year’s Eves with their parents until they were married. She thinks Gia deserves the night out though. Husband Joe comes in and gets snippy with Gia.

Jacqueline, buzzed on espresso, talks nonsense with her daughter. Ashlee wants to move away, but Jacqueline wants her to stay. Ashlee points out that she’s twenty-five and her boyfriend is over thirty. Ashlee says she and her mother have been getting along great, but she and Pete want their own hangout. Yeah, it’s called not living with your parents any more.

Dolores picks Teresa up and they go for a pedicure. Dolores asks Teresa about how she was treated in prison, and if she felt picked on, but Teresa says she was only watched a little more closely. Dolores’s brother texts her a happy birthday and Teresa says they need to do something to celebrate. Dolores isn’t into a big birthday deal, but says a reunion dinner would be fun. She makes up a guest list and Teresa is hesitant about Jacqueline, but says it’s up to Dolores.

Melissa wants to be a successful businesswoman as well as a wife and mother, and she’s overseeing the construction of her upcoming boutique. Husband Joe and the kids stop by. Joe claims he’ll be finished in two weeks, but Melissa wants to open in two weeks. Joe squawks about her working and him having a part-time wife. She says as soon as everything is up and running, she’ll be able to pitch in more. He whines about being a single parent and Melissa’s employees give the stink eye.

Everyone is getting ready for Teresa’s New Year’s Eve party. Teresa says she’s been tired since she got home and she only wants family and close friends there. Contrary to her usual way of doing things, she’s also having it catered.

Jacqueline asks Chris if her leggings are giving her camel toe. Do you not have a mirror? Because she wants it both ways, Jacqueline is hurt that she wasn’t invited to Teresa’s party. Chris says somebody has to make a move. Kathy and her husband come over, along with Rosie, since they weren’t invited to Teresa’s either. Rosie is a little surprised, since she’s pretty good friends with Joe. She says since Teresa came home, Joe hasn’t been communicating with her.

It’s time for Gia to leave. She’s running late and Teresa wants to take pictures, but Gia doesn’t want to take any more time. Joe #1 is now insisting she be home before midnight. He says if she’s not home by twelve, there’s going to be a problem. In her interview, Dolores says every Italian has to go through her father’s stress and that she had to be home by eleven on her wedding night. Ha-ha!

Dolores is headed to Jacqueline’s and Teresa decides to call to wish Jacqueline a happy new year. Jacqueline tells her welcome home. Teresa says she looks forward to new beginnings. The Wakhilis yell “happy new year” in the background, catching Teresa off-guard. After they hang up, Jacqueline says it was weird. She says that she didn’t get a sense of a connection and doesn’t know how to respond. Rosie says it’s great that Teresa is reaching out, but she doesn’t get what Teresa has against her. Rosie says her new year’s resolution is to be a bigger bitch since every time she’s nice, it doesn’t pay.

Teresa tells Melissa about calling Jacqueline. She says Jacqueline seemed a little cold, but Melissa says she was probably startled.

When Dolores arrives, Jacqueline grills her about the phone call. In her interview, Dolores says the two of them are from totally different worlds and don’t understand one another. Teresa grew up not talking about feelings and Jacqueline puts her heart on her sleeve. IMO, Jacqueline talks a good game about being tough, but she certainly doesn’t act that way whenever there’s a problem.

Time to count down to the new year! Happy 2016! I love how those cheesy hats and noisemakers never change. Gia comes home at 12:15 and all is well. She tells daddy Joe that she loves him. Teresa says it’s going to be another tough year, but they’ll get through it.

Next time, a birthday, Melissa wears red shoes, and Jacqueline and Teresa meet.