Tag Archives: The Real Housewives of New York City

August 31, 2016 – GH’s Killer Gets Blackmailed, LA’s Briana is About to Pop & NYC’s Reunion Ordeal Begins

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn asks Franco what he’s implying about Hayden. He asks why Franco would accuse her of wanting Elizabeth dead. Hayden tells Finn not to pay attention to him, but Franco says Elizabeth has something on Hayden that could put her away. Hayden says Franco is just making things up, but he says he’s not making up a pouch of diamonds that are proof of fraud. I guess telling them that they’re sisters is now out of the question.

Franco leaves and Finn asks Hayden what’s going on. Hayden tells him not to get involved. Finn says he took some things out on her and he was wrong. He says she took a risk for him and he doesn’t want her to leave town. Gee, maybe if you’d said that a week ago, you wouldn’t be having this conversation now. Hayden says she doesn’t know what to do and he tells her to stop doing it on her own and let him help her.

Alexis is at the bar. OMG – so is Julian!

Ava realizes Paul is the hospital killer. Ava wonders why he’d do something like that and says nothing makes sense.

Meanwhile, Paul continues to be the hospital killer, stalking Monica. Luckily her phone rings while she’s in the locker room, but he’s lurking right behind her.

Griff tells Franco they’ve ruled some things out, but Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods. Franco asks what he’s talking about. Griff says they need to run more tests and they take as long as they take. Doctor talk. He says she’s under excellent care and constant attention.

Julian tells Alexis that the powers that be know they belong together. She argues with him and he grabs her arm. Then we see Tracy has her arm. I can’t believe they fooled me again. Alexis asks where Julian went. Tracy says he’s in jail. Alexis swears she saw him, so Tracy calls the PCPD.

Oh! Paul’s phone goes off and startles Monica. Hiding the syringe, he makes something up about why he’s there. She thanks him for all his hard work and leaves. He sees a picture on his phone of him and Ava – he’s putting on cufflinks in the picture. He calls her, thinking that she’s trying to hold their affair over his head, but she says she has something more and to meet her at Perks. He asks where she is now and she says closer than he thinks. She talks to herself, saying now it’s his turn to have his sins come back and haunt him. This is a good one today.

Jordan comes to the hospital. Monica tells her Paul is there already. She’d asked him to come because of the patient that did and he was there in a heartbeat. Yep. He certainly was. Monica says she thought that’s why Jordan was there, but Jordan says she’s there because Elizabeth was supposed to come to the station and never showed up.

Griff tells Franco to talk to Elizabeth when she gets settled in. He believes in second chances and thinks Franco is sincere.

Hayden tells Finn about the diamonds. She says Elizabeth made her so angry, she slapped her, but that’s all. He says he believes her. She says the diamonds were all that was left after the Feds confiscated all the assets, but she never sold them because they were the last thing left from her father. Finn says help him understand how she could be so clueless.

Tracy confirms that Julian is still in jail. She asks how long Alexis has been hallucinating. Alexis says it’s more like a waking nightmare that she’s had since Julian tried to kill her. Tracy brings up the fight she had with Kristina, but Alexis says it was no big deal. Still, she’s terrified Julian will be acquitted because of her.

Paul tells Ava she’d better have a good reason for the meeting. Ava acts silly and tells him they’re in a public place, so don’t try to kill her. She tells him about Jordan calling her in regard to a murder. He tells her the flash drive is safe as long as she testifies against Julian. She says she’s not going to do that and he’s not going to give the flash drive to anyone. He thinks she’s calling his bluff, but she tells him about the cufflink and how she remembered it was his.

Monica tells Jordan how Elizabeth had a nasty fall. She starts to tell Jordan about the power outage, but Franco butts in, saying something about Hayden being responsible.

Hayden tells Finn that she has nothing left. She lied to the Feds, and if Elizabeth turns her in, she’ll go to prison. Finn says Franco is right, if Elizabeth dies, her problems go away. Hayden is aghast that he’d believe she’d kill Elizabeth.

Griff sees a needle in with the dirty scrubs. He carefully removes it.

Franco talks to an unconscious Elizabeth. He says they have a lot to talk about and there’s more to life than just toast. She regains consciousness and asks what happened. She asks about the boys and he says they’re fine. She says she’s sore and he tells her she took a big fall. He asks if she remembers anything.

Tracy says Alexis knows what the jury wants to hear to convict Julian and she has to give it to them. Alexis tells Tracy about how Jordan thought she was still trying to protect Julian and trying to discredit herself.

Paul laughs – ha-ha! – at Ava. He says she can’t prove he ever owned anything like that. She says she does have their video though. In addition to the graphic footage, there’s a clear image of him putting on his cufflinks.

Griff tells Monica about the syringe. He’s given it to the lab for analyzing. He asks about Elizabeth and they both go to check on her. Franco is telling Elizabeth to just concentrate on getting better because he’s not okay with this and thought he almost lost her. She says she’s still here and he says he’s glad. (His characters are so often brooding, it’s nice to see Roger Howarth smile. Although I’d rather see Franco and Nina together.) Griff and Monica come in. Griff says tests are being run and Monica says everyone is rooting for her and to rest. When they’re gone, Franco says everyone in the hospital loves her. Elizabeth starts to remember what happened. She starts to talk about going into Monica’s office, but Franco interrupts, so she skips to the power outage on the stairs. She tells him she felt hands on her back.

Hayden asks if Finn thinks she pushed Elizabeth. He says he didn’t say that, but the argument happened just before Elizabeth fell down the stairs, so what is he supposed to think?

Alexis says if nothing else, Scotty is going to have a field day with how long she waited to say something about Julian. Tracy says that’s okay, he’ll probably make a procedural error, and besides, they have the confession on tape. She says after all Alexis has been through, she’ll blow the jury away just by telling the truth.

Paul balks at the idea a grainy video will bury him. Um…it’s not very grainy. He asks why Ava thinks he’d be behind the killings. She says she spent time in his hotel room tonight and not to be concerned with the how and the why, but what she found. She shows him the pouch with the syringes in it and he makes a great soap opera face. 😨

Hayden tells Finn she wanted to shut Elizabeth up, but not kill her. She says she had something on Elizabeth too. She tells him she was shot last year and the official story was wrong. She says Nicholas hired sometone to kill her and Elizbeth knew about it. Finn’s mind boggles that Hayden still married Nicholas. Hayden says Elizabeth was an accessory after the fact and she was going to make a bargain with her. She says she’s not a murderer. Jordan interrupts saying she’s been looking for Hayden. She tells her that Elizabeth had called saying she had information about Hayden. Hayden says she doesn’t know anything about it and Elizabeth doesn’t clue her in on her plans. Jordan says Franco told her that he found Elizabeth with her in the stairwell. She asks what Hayden was doing before the outage and Finn says she was with him.

Elizabeth realizes she was pushed and wonders who would try to kill her. She says she was going home to get the diamonds and she’d just had a fight with Hayden. Finn got in the middle and told her to go see Monica. Franco says its not a stretch to think Hayden was involved, since when he got there, she was standing over Elizabeth.

Alexis asks Tracy what she’s even doing at The Floating Rib, since its not her usual haunt. Tracy tells her about the disastrous lunch with Dillon and how she saw Alexis talking to herself. She says she knows Alexis is angry and that anger can be motivating. She tells Alexis that it will get better and eventually she’ll have her life back, but testifying is the first step. Tracy leaves to take a call and Julian is back again, telling Alexis that she won’t be able to do it.

Paul says not that it’s Ava’s business, but he has a prescription. She says not for this he doesn’t and it’s something used for surgery. She says she was originally there out of curiosity and found the mother lode. She asks what he’s trying to cover up, who he’s trying to frame, or is he just a psycho? She says he’s done if she decides to go to Jordan. He asks what she wants. This reminds me of the time that Home Depot tried to get over on me, but then realized I had the upper hand. Long roofing story.

Griff tells Monica that the syringe tested positive for whatever that drug is that’s been killing the patients. She wonders if the power outage stopped the killer and Griff says maybe they’re the one who caused it.

Ava says Paul probably made copies of the flash drive anyway, but his silence is a condition of the agreement. She says she knows he’s angry and homicidal, but there’s no reason not to be civilized. And I swear to you, just now Paul called Ava “Anna” and no one caught it or they thought the audience wouldn’t. Ava tells Paul that she also wants Julian to go free.

Alexis says she’ll bury Julian, but he says she can’t, and they’ll be together because they were meant to be. She tells him he’s not really there. Tracy sees her talking to herself again, and Alexis asks what’s happening to her. Tracy says she’s been drinking on an empty stomach. She tells Alexis she’s calling her a cab and she’s to go home, drink some water, take some aspirin and go to bed. If she ends up a whimpering mess, Julian wins, and don’t let him win anything.

Finn tells Jordan that he and Hayden had argued and he was trying to make things right. Jordan says she might need to contact him for more formal questioning and Hayden should expect to be contacted as well. She leaves and Hayden asks why Finn didn’t say anything. He says he doesn’t think she pushed Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Hayden did this to her. Franco says they don’t know that and Elizabeth tells him about the slap. She adds that Finn saw it and says Hayden tried to kill her.

Tomorrow, Jason tells Sam to make a wish, Sonny tells Joe not to make the same mistakes Carrrlos did, and Nell asks Carly if she threatened someone.

Little Women: LA

Briana says she’s about to burst and she’s now as big around as she is tall. She and Matt go out to lunch and discuss having a housewarming or “pre-pop” party. She says if Christy shows up, she’ll call the cops. She’s furious about Christy setting her up at Tonya’s party. Briana says Christy is delusional and she thinks she must be doing something like day drinking or taking drugs. She says Christy has completely changed, and she vacillates between being zen and wired. Matt thinks they should also reveal their baby’s name at the party.

Joe and Terra are doing fun activities with Penny before she has a new brother or sister to torment for the rest of her life. They’re making some kind of craft that involves hand prints, and Penny is not pleased at having her hand dipped in paint. Joe tells her not to worry because she only has 18 more years to live with them.

Since Penny will be behind in physical development, Terra is trying to teach her more words. In her interview, Terra says there’s no scale to measure a little person’s development; everyone is different.

Preston and Elena, who looks stunning in a yellow and black maxi sun dress, sit on the patio while the babies are napping. They discuss their sex life, or lack thereof, since they have to wait six weeks. Elena says she feels like cobwebs are growing on her and she’s counting down the hours. One of the babies starts to cry. There goes relaxation time.

Tonya comes over Terra’s place. Terra wants to wrap up the feud they’ve been having. In her interview, Terra says they’ve been best friends for most of their lives. She tells Tonya that she’s sorry for putting her nose where it didn’t belong and that Tonya is like a sister to her. She starts to tear up and Tonya tells her to stop because she doesn’t want to cry. She says the activewear line is like her baby and there’s a difference between critiques and throwing shade. She’s also annoyed that Terra drug Elena into it.

Terra says she hadn’t expected Elena to make things worse. She tells Tonya that it upset her to see Tonya talking to Christy about it. Terra switches topics by saying she gets the feeling there’s been a disconnect between Tonya and Angelique since Kerwin moved in. She tells Tonya that Angelique feels like she settled. In her interview, Tonya is bothered that Angelique would tell Terra something like that before she came to her. Tonya accepts Terra’s apology, but insists she hasn’t settled.

Autumn and Christy are taking a yoga class. In her interview, Christy says yoga ain’t easy for a dyslexic dwarf, and that you’re not going to be a good parent unless you’re embarrassing your kid. My father would probably concur about the latter. After class, Christy tells Autumn that her grandfather could have colon cancer. They say they’re each other’s best friend.

The girls go to an ice cream parlor where you ride a bike to churn your own ice cream. Cool! Both literally and figuratively. Tonya tells everyone that she and Terra have reconciled. Elena says she was hurt by Tonya blowing her off at the party and feels like she can’t speak her mind. Tonya thinks once Elena actually sees her activewear, she’ll be impressed.

Tonya asks how everyone is feeling about Briana and Matt, since their party is coming up. Jasmine says that Matt makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want it to cause another rift.

Jasmine and Chris walk on the beach. She says they won’t be able to have much alone time after the baby comes. She’s worried about Briana and Matt. Chris suggests she stay out of their business. Jasmine thinks that Matt needs to understand how she feels so they can move on. She says he has a hot temper and doesn’t mince words, so she’s concerned about approaching him.

Tonya and Angelique take a flying class. Not that kind of flying, but those circles and fabric swatches people twirl around on. During a break, Tonya tells Angelique that she and Terra made up. She mentions what Terra told her in regard to Angelique’s feelings about Kerwin. Angelique says it’s a big change and she feels like she got no warning. She loves them, but feels like her opinions and feelings have been disregarded. She starts to cry and Tonya apologizes. Tonya figured since Angelique was grown, it wouldn’t be a big deal and didn’t realize she needed to adjust. Tonya asks why Angelique feels like she’s settling. Angelique says that Kerwin moving in seemed to come out of the blue. Tonya says every love story is different and their timing hadn’t been good up until then. She says she’ll never put a man before her child though. They hug it out.

Todd and Christy look at outdoor plants for their new house. Todd wonders if getting Christy’s dad involved in gardening might be a good idea. She says her dad has pre-cancerous cells in his esophagus and they need to do more testing on his colon. It’s upsetting to hear her mother talk about chemo and radiation. Todd suggests putting off his search for his birth parents so they can concentrate on her father. Christy thinks all the more reason not to wait, since there could be health issues in Todd’s family that he should know about.

The pre-pop/housewarming party begins. Briana is having mild contractions, but says she’s had them before and isn’t too concerned. Elena looks fabulous for someone who just had twins, but these girls always look well put together. Jasmine is anxious about talking to Matt, since she doesn’t know what his reaction will be, but feels like she can’t hold back any longer.

Jasmine asks Matt if she can have a word. She says she was there for him and fought for him, and the things he did with other women were disgusting. She wants to be supportive of Briana, but doesn’t want things to be awkward with Matt. Matt tells her that he hopes with time he can show everyone that someone can change. He tears up and says he wants to set a good example for his children. Jasmine says that if he’s who Briana chooses, she has to accept that. He thanks Jasmine for being a good friend to Briana throughout.

Jasmine tells the girls about the conversation. In her interview, Terra thinks Jasmine is taking it all too much to heart and Briana is the one who has to sleep with him.

Time to eat. Jasmine asks Briana about Christy setting her up for the process server to find her at the party. Briana says she’s disgusted with Christy and she’ll never be friends with her again. She thinks Christy is trying to take attention away from something going on in her own life. Elena wonders if it was just a coincidence. Terra brings up how Christy almost got her arrested and Jasmine says it’s been a chain of events. Terra thinks Christy is trying to get back at Briana for cutting her out of the loop.

Briana wonders if Christy is on something. Terra says that she and Tonya had discussed if Christy was on drugs. Briana says she doesn’t seem like the same Christy. In her interview, Terra talks about Christy repeatedly taking what she said was ibuprofen a year ago, although she doesn’t think it was ibuprofen. Elena is distressed that the allegations are so big.

Game time. The guests pick a cupcake with a letter of the alphabet on it. All together they will form the name. Maverick Jax. Okay, I’m good with that. All of a sudden, Briana says her pain is at a 10 and it’s close to how she felt the last time she went to the hospital. She’s not supposed to have her c-section for another two weeks. Terra says she could die if she tries to deliver naturally. Briana decides to go to the hospital. She’s more worried about the baby than the pain, not knowing if these are contractions or the baby is in distress. Matt gets her into the car.

Tonya says the baby is about to come. Everyone watches as the car drives away.

This season is chock full o’ fun – an amusement park, archery, bowling, Penny poops, Briana delivers, Christy is confronted and Terra is hospitalized.

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part One

Andy says hello to the ladies and they answer back like it’s an AA meeting. No shock, everyone looks fabulous. I especially love Dorinda’s white and silver dress that looks like a snowflake. Bethenny’s divorce is finally coming to a close after five years, but she’s not discussing her latest boyfriend. Jules, who is in the process of a divorce, isn’t talking about that either.

We start with Dorinda and flash back to the stupidity of John. Dorinda wears those humongous chain earrings a lot. She’s like, thanks a lot for making me relive that again. Bethenny says her hat’s off to Dorinda for putting her life out there. The Countess asks if John watched the show. Dorinda says he tried to justify his behavior at first, but she told him he was an a-hole and he accepted the mantle.

A fan asks what Dorinda thinks rubs people the wrong way about John. She says her husband was very different, visually as well as intellectually, and she traveled in a different circle, so people aren’t used to it. Sonja says a bunch of stuff that boils down to John not having social skills. The bra party is brought up. Andy asks Bethenny if she was referring to coke when she sarcastically asked if John wanted to “blow some lines.” She says she was, and Dorinda says Bethenny doesn’t know their life. Bethenny doesn’t want the question to go any further. Dorinda asks why Bethenny would insinuate that she does drugs and Sonja says everyone knows she does. What? Andy just moves on and I’m like, hey, go back.

They talk about Bethenny’s birthday party and how she ran from John. Bethenny says her problem is that she can’t pretend, and it makes social situations awkward. Ramona gets a turn on the John bandwagon and we flash back to that drunk guy that John tried to kick out of the party. Then we move to The Countess because she dated that guy. Ramona is asked why she wanted him to stay, and she acts clueless. Andy asks Dorinda about where she thinks her relationship is going and she says they’re both happy the way things are. I’m very distracted by the decor – silver pillows on a plum velvety couch, winter berries in vases and some beautiful pink martini and wine glasses stacked in the background. Andy said they were at The Diamond Horseshoe in Times Square, which I assume is a chic bar.

Ramona’s turn. She’s single and ready to mingle. We flash back to her many moments of flirtatiousness. In one of them, I notice a lady in the background at a restaurant noticing the cameras. My favorite part is when Ramona mispronounces reggae as ra-gay, emphasis on the gay. Andy asks if there’s anyone special, but she says she’s just dating a lot. Dorinda says she went from trapping to hunting. Andy says viewers have seen her as “lighter” this season. She talks about her and Mario going back and forth for a while before they finally divorced. She had always been the caregiver when no one took care of her. I will say, she didn’t really scream and yell at anyone this time around. It’s Groundhog Day when we go back to the pronunciation of reggae and then we move on to The Countess’s way of pronouncing things that’s totally her own.

Dorinda is asked for a review of the guys that Ramona’s been dating, but she’s not talking. She and Sonja get in an argument about how Dorinda feels about Ramona’s dating life. Andy asks how Ramona’s daughter feels about her newly single mother. They all talk about Ramona’s new ta-tas and how great she looks.

We revisit Dorinda’s holiday weekend in the Berkshires. The Countess and Bethenny bicker in those little corner squares while we watch Bethenny rip The Countess a new one during dinner. It culminates with Dorinda’s “I did it nice” speech. Andy asks if there’s a curse on her parties with the women. We go over The Countess’s claim that Bethenny copied her hairstyle. Andy asks for a show of hands, but there are no takers. They discuss Dorinda’s birthday cake. Andy says her kitchen monologue was gripping. Dorinda says at that point she just wanted to be a mother and stop the arguing and I agree – she did sound like someone’s mother. Or that guy in West Side Story who says “You kids! Why do you live like there’s a war on?” Apparently, her tirades have their own Twitter name – dornadoes.

Andy mentions that The Countess acted self-centered when Jules tried to tell her about her father being sick. The Countess says she apologized and Jules says she wasn’t offended since they talk all the time. Bethenny is called out about slut-shaming The Countess. We flash back to the married man thing in Turks and Caicos. The Countess claims he was getting divorced. Pfft! That’s what they all say. She says Bethenny is a hypocrite because Bethenny is dating a married man right at this very minute. She didn’t really say that last part, but I thought it sounded more dramatic.

The Countess says when Bethenny started dating him, he had been married and living at home. I assume she means with his wife and not his parents. The Countess asks what married man she’s slept with, and Bethenny asks who hasn’t she slept with, and Carole adds if The Countess doesn’t know, how would she know? Bethenny jokes that she’s going to come out with a Slutty Girl line.

Andy asks if Bethenny’s boyfriend left his wife for her and she says no. She actually called his wife, who she’d gone to high school with, to make sure everything was cool. The Countess keeps whispering to the others on the other couch. Andy moves back on topic and Bethenny says she called his wife while she was still only friends with him to get a time stamp. Bethenny says if slut-shaming is noticing that The Countess writes etiquette books, but then acts like a whore when she’s out, that’s what she’s doing. Alrighty then!

Andy points out that Bethenny said she liked the new, freewheeling Countess during the last reunion. Bethenny says she got a little too free, swiping men out from under their women’s noses. A fan says that Bethenny is disrespectful to her co-stars and then acts repentant. The Countess says the remorse isn’t genuine and we go back to Bethenny dating a married man because no one can ever let anything go.

Bethenny whips out her phone to call her boyfriend’s daughter. Someone always whips out something. Bethenny asks the daughter if anyone in the family believes she was dating her father while he was married. The daughter confirms that’s a no. She actually talks for a while, but you can’t hear it above the bickering going on.The Countess says the daughter is just defending her father and there’s a mini-debate about whether daughters are more defending of their mothers or fathers. The Countess calls Bethenny a horrible, evil person and Bethenny calls her a liar.

Next time – part two – The Countess loses her title, Bethenny accuses Jules of using the show as a vehicle for her divorce, Tom and Sonja are discussed and Ramona whips out evidence. Told you.

I’m also watching The Real Housewives of Melbourne, although I started late because they snuck it in on me. I like this one because the women are all loud and literally larger than life, reminding me of transvestites, and I mean that in a good way. They wear lavish outfits, throw lavish parties, argue incessantly, and go to places like Dubai, a city I’m fascinated with, but would be scared to actually travel to. I love seeing Australia as well. That’s another place I’d love to visit, but can’t imagine a plane ride that long. This season, we were also treated to a the wedding of Gamble Breaux (yes, that’s her name) on a beach in New South Wales. I recommend this one – if you can keep track of it.

August 24, 2016 – GH’s Franco Gets the Girl, Little LA’s Briana Gets Served & The Countess Gets the Truth

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu talks to Dante about missing Nicholas. They discuss the upcoming baby making.

Franco tells Elizabeth this is a change, usually he’s chasing her. She says she really needed someone to talk to and she shows him the diamonds.

Naomi tells Hayden she needs to get out of Windemere and Port Charles, and away from Elizabeth. Hayden sees the box from Greece.

Finn talks to his dead wife. He thinks he’s close to an answer. He leaves his office and leaves the small recorder he’s been using on the desk. Obrecht comes in and starts looking over his paperwork.

Kristina can’t find her phone and Molly apologizes for tossing it into the bushes. They’re having dinner at the MetroCourt and Alexis enters. Molly set things up because she wants Kristina to make her peace with Alexis.

Elizabeth explains how she got the diamonds. She thinks everything washed ashore after Nicholas died. She also tells Franco about Ava, and how she said that she and Nicholas bonded. She says Ava claimed to want the boot for something to remember him by. Franco says Ava doesn’t have a sympathetic bone in her body and a boot is hardly a memento. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know what to do with the diamonds. Franco suggests giving them to Laura or Spencer (really? although Spencer might actually be the most mature of the bunch), but Elizabeth says Nicholas stole them from Hayden. Here’s what I think. Nicholas is still alive and sent those diamonds back to Windemere or had someone else do it. First of all, that boot didn’t look like it had been soaked and secondly, I doubt the pouch of diamonds would have never stayed inside of it.

Hayden realizes that it’s Nicholas’s stuff in the box. Naomi suggests searching through it for the diamonds.

Finn asks Obrecht what she’s doing. She asks what he’s doing. He grabs his research and she says she’s already seen it and it explains why he was sneaking around on Sonny’s plane, because he’s dealing with dangerous drugs. She thinks he and Sonny are in cahoots to sell something on the black market and she’s going to report it to the authorities.

Lulu tells Dante about the IVF procedure. They figure she’ll be pregnant in October. Dr. Lee calls and Lulu asks if her ears were burning. Dr. Lee has bad news.

Molly says she tricked Alexis too. Alexis says she’d love Kristina to stay, but if not, she’ll leave. A reporter comes up to Alexis asking her about her suspension. Thanks, dooood.

Elizabeth tells Franco that the diamonds had been a necklace and when the government seized Raymond Berlin’s assets, it shoud have been with them, but Hayden had it broken down and hid it. Franco says those diamonds could pay for all of her kids’ college educations.

Alexis tells the reporter that if he doesn’t get lost, she’s calling security. He backs off and Molly asks if what he said was true. Alexis tells her yes, she’s suspended for a year, but she was waiting to tell them. She says it’s a cautionary tale on how not to define yourself by your career. Kristina says it’s her fault for wishing it.

Finn tells Obrecht to start with the FDA, who he’s working with on infectious diseases. Obrecht says she should talk to Valerie about it.

Naomi says there are no diamonds in the box. Hayden is hugging Nicholas’s blazer and Naomi apologizes for being insensitive. Hayden says Nicholas could have hidden the diamonds anywhere, but most likely they were on him and are gone forever. Naomi says all the more reason to start her life somewhere else, since there’s nothing there for her. Hayden says she’s starting to think there might be.

Elizabeth says as much as she hates Hayden, she doesn’t want to make a decision based on bad motivation . Franco says whatever happens to Hayden is her fault. Elizabeth says she’ll turn them in then, and let the chips fall where they may. Franco asks why she would come to him with a moral dilemma.

Finn asks what happened with Valerie. Obrecht says he must know, since he was the perpetrator. Finn tells her to do her worst. Oooh! She swipes his recorder as she leaves.

Naomi tells Hayden that Finn is an addict and she shouldn’t feel badly just because her father squandered his research money. Hayden says that Finn has a disease. Naomi thinks Hayden is gullible when it comes to men because of her father. Hayden says she couldn’t pick her father, but Naomi picked her husband. She walks out and Naomi’s phone rings. It’s Heather.

Elizabeth says she wanted to talk things out with someone who wouldn’t judge her. Franco says he can’t do this anymore. He says she knows how he feels about her and it’s time she either like him back or don’t. He wants her to decide now.

Kristina says she was just mad about Parker. Alexis says she knows Kristina didn’t mean it and the only one at fault for the suspension is her. She says she let her judgement get clouded and she’s sorry. Molly and Kristina tell her they love her.

Dante gets off the phone. Lulu asks how this could have happened. I don’t even get what happened, but the outcome is that Lulu can’t have another baby. She cries in Dante’s arms. Lulu says the embryo tested viable when Obrecht (red flag) returned it and she can’t figure out what went wrong. Dante says it could have been anything and they’re closer than ever.

Alexis says she wasn’t thinking clearly and shouldn’t have interfered with Kristina and Parker, and apologizes. Kristina says that’s all she wanted and ultimately Alexis was right. Alexis gives Kristina her phone. She says Aaron found it and returned it to her. Kristina tells Alexis how the phone got lost and sees that Parker called her back.

Heather wants to see Naomi right away. Naomi isn’t happy, but says she’ll be there.

Hayden comes to Finn’s office, saying that the cactus is still alive and well. She tells him what her mother said about her having nothing in Port Charles and wonders if she’s wrong. Finn says she’s right; Hayden should get away from there and him. He says this is about her and her pinning her future on another man.

Elizabeth tells Franco she was raped. He tells her he’s sorry and she says it was a long time ago. She says even though she recovered, it changed her forever. Franco says she’s endured too much, and he realizes no matter how he’s changed, she’ll believe that he’s someone who’s capable of hurting her. He says he can’t do the back and forth dance anymore and asks her to leave.

Hayden asks why Finn is talking to her this way. He says she wanted him to beg her to stay. She says, no, but it would be nice if he said he’d miss her if she left. He says she doesn’t need justification from a man. He says he’s no prince and has no interest in being the next man she uses to define herself. She’s surprised that’s what he thinks of her. He says she’s beautiful, smart and funny, and if she stays, she should stay for a better reason, but if she leaves, go find someone who isn’t going to die on her. She tells him she wants nothing from him and to go to hell.

Alone, Finn tells his dead wife he did it for Hayden’s own good, so why does he feel badly? He can’t find his recorder because Obrecht is listening to it.

Franco says it’s too painful for this to continue. Elizabeth says she can’t shake Jake telling her that Franco makes her happy. He says he’s perceptive, but it has to be something she wants and he can’t keep going back and forth. Elizabeth says it’s on her and she came to him with an ethical dilemma because she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. Franco says she’s right. He’s probably always going to say or do inappropriate things, but he’d never intentionally hurt her. She says she believes him and they kiss. I get a little teary. Even though I’m no fan of Elizabeth’s, it’s nice to see Franco get what he wants.

Lulu asks Dante what if they still have a chance. She says there’s still an embryo that Stavros stole and what if it’s still out there? Dante says no way it survived the explosion.

Molly tells Kristina not to read too much into it because Parker didn’t leave a message. What if it was a butt dial? The girls go back and forth. Alexis says it appears nothing has changed. She says it didn’t take much persuasion for Parker to walk away. Kristina asks if Alexis would have preferred Parker try to kill her like what happened with her and Julian. We see the reporter recording everything as they argue. Kristina leaves the table and Alexis grabs her and tells her to stop being so self-involved and grow up.

Dante tells Lulu to remember what they have and stay positive. He adds that Spencer lost his father and there are lots of kids around for them to love.

Obrecht listens to Finn’s recording. He walks into her office and catches her. He asks how much she heard and she says more than enough. He tells her if she makes a move against him he’ll kill her with his bare hands.

Hayden asks Naomi to make her a drink. Naomi asks if it’s a celebration. Hayden says she’s starting over whether its there or someone else and she’ll teach the doubters how wrong they are. They drink to the future.

Franco asks Elizabeth if she’s sure this is what she wants. They start to get busy and there’s a bugle call. It’s a phone reminder for Elizabeth to pick up the boys. She tells Franco maybe he wants to think it over. She’s a single mom with three boys and this is what her life is like. He says maybe she wants to get a babysitter again and they can have a real date. She says she wants to take her time, but she is going to see him again. They kiss.

Kristina yells at Alexis to let go of her. Alexis says she’s sorry and Kristina says every time Alexis says it, she believes it less. She walks out. Molly tells Alexis that Kristina is an adult and she can’t control her the same way she couldn’t control Julian, and look what that got her. Molly asks if she can afford to lose anything else.

Tomorrow, Sonny thinks Jason isn’t telling him something, Kristina visits Parker, and Jordan shows Alexis the reporter’s video.

Little Women: LA

Kerwin and Tonya go bike riding. Tonya is trying to whip him back into shape. She’s having a Western style barbecue to welcome Kerwin to LA. She’s unsure about inviting Terra since they haven’t been getting along. She brings up how Terra won’t let the lotus flower logo discussion die. She doesn’t want to argue while Terra is pregnant. Kerwin thinks they should resolve things right away.

Christy and Todd are walking in the park. They sit at a picnic table and Todd says he’s been considering looking for his birth parents. He was adopted as a baby and now that he’s older, wants to know more about his medical history. It was a closed adoption, which throws a wrench into things.

Joe and Terra go vegetable picking, along with Jasmine and Chris. Since both of the girls are pregnant, they’re trying to eat more healthfully. Terra asks Jasmine if she’d prefer an average sized child or a little one. Jasmine says because of her own health issues, and average sized child might be preferable. She talks about her hair loss problem and how she was made fun of for that as well. She says it took her a long time to accept herself as a little person. Terra says she thinks every little person goes through a time of wishing they were otherwise.

While they’re paying for the vegetables, Jasmine talks to Terra about her meeting with Tonya. She says Tonya was really hurt by Terra’s comments about her logo. Terra thinks she’s the only one being honest and she doesn’t want Tonya to fail. She says that Tonya clearly talked about this with Christy and she’s not too happy about that either. Jasmine asks if she’s going to Tonya’s party, but so far, she hasn’t been invited.

Briana tells Matt that the doctor has said her fluid is too high, and it can cause premature birth. She says she had no problem with having her daughter, but with this pregnancy, she’s been in and out of the hospital. Matt asks who he should call when the baby comes. Briana says a group text is fine, but leave out Christy. She’s done with the friendship. She’s trying to build a relationship with Matt and doesn’t want Christy getting in the way.

Todd is going to talk to his adoptive father about finding his birth father. Christy hopes he’ll be supportive. His father is understanding. Todd tells him that Christy was nervous that he’d be upset, but he just laughs. Todd says he also wants to thank his birth parents for giving him great adoptive parents. His father says Todd was a lot of fun to raise.

Terra meets with Tonya’s daughter, Angelique. She tells Angelique that she and Tonya have been on the outs and she wants to make things right. Angelique says Tonya thinks Terra is crapping on her, but Terra says that’s not her intention. Terra asks for an invite to the party and Angelique tells her that she’s inviting her. Terra asks what Kerwin thinks, but Angelique hasn’t discussed it with him and thinks Tonya is settling as far as her relationship with him goes.

Tonya needs to let out some frustration, so she goes to the gym and does a boxing class. Angelique is with her and she asks if Tonya invited Terra to the party. Tonya says they haven’t been talking. Angelique doesn’t think that’s right and Tonya says, you invite her then. Angelique says she already did and tells Tonya about the meeting, which annoys her. Angelique says Terra wasn’t trying to hurt her, but Tonya won’t listen to any more.

Briana and Terra go baby shopping and discuss their pregnancies and surgeries. Briana talks about being unable to thrive when she was a baby and being underdeveloped. Terra says she didn’t walk until 14 months, but at 15 months, Penny still isn’t. Briana thinks once Penny has a little brother or sister, she’ll move ahead because she’ll want to keep up.

Briana asks about the rift with Tonya and Terra tells her about the meeting with Angelique, and how Angelique invited her to the party. She says Tonya won’t even answer her texts. In her interview, Terra talks about Tonya being her family when she moved to LA and she can’t believe she wasn’t even invited to the party. She tells Briana that she’s going and she’s not leaving until Tonya talks to her. Well, we all know how uninvited guests go on a reality show and it’s never pretty.

Tonya is getting ready for the party. She’s miffed about Angelique inviting Terra. The party venue is a pseudo ranch, with picnic tables and various animals in open stalls. In her interview, Jasmine says the last time they wore cowboy hats, the night ended with police reports. Christy shows up and Briana barely acknowledges her. Tonya is nearly as rude when Terra shows up.

Tonya thanks everyone for coming and says she planned this for the love of her life, Kerwin. Jasmine asks how Terra is feeling and she says awkward. She tells Elena and Jasmine that Tonya didn’t invite her, even though she knows Kerwin well. She thinks Tonya is purposely sharing things with Christy to get under her skin. Elena says she’s just making an assumption. Terra says regardless, she doesn’t want Christy knowing her business. She says she’s not leaving until they talk it out.

It’s time for the mechanical bull. Kerwin lasts about ten seconds, although none of the other guys do much better. Tonya does pretty well, but it wasn’t too speedy for her. The food is next and it looks damn good. Wise to do the eating after the bull riding. Terra and Joe are sitting by themselves and discuss Christy and Todd. Joe says he wants to talk to Tonya. When Terra says if she talks to him, she’ll be upset since Tonya isn’t talking to her, Joe asks if she gets along with anybody.

Christy gets weepy about Briana. Um…this is not the place. Uh-oh, here’s comes a guy who looks like a process server. He’s the attorney for Julie, Briana’s ex-publicist. He says she’s in default of a signed agreement and she has thirty days to rectify it. Matt is sure Christy told him where Briana was going to be. He says it shows how classy they both are. In her interview, Briana says that’s the only way Julie could have known where she was.

Terra asks what’s up and Briana tells her, and says that Christy must have been involved. In her interview, Terra says she never thought she’d say this, but Christy is making Matt look good. Joe asks Terra what’s going on, but Terra says until the news is out, she’s not saying anything.

A guy comes out to give lasso lessons. Terra manages to rope the guy instead of the fake cow. Terra asks to talk to Tonya. She doesn’t want the fight over the activewear to destroy their friendship. Tonya says some of what Terra told her was constructive criticism, but she said she doesn’t see Tonya as a face of fitness. She says it’s her vision, not Terra’s. Terra moves to Tonya inviting Christy and Tonya counters with Terra meeting with Angelique to get an invite. Elena comes over and asks if everything is okay. She tells Tonya that Terra was hurt about not being invited and that she doesn’t see a future for the activewear line either. Tonya says Jasmine hasn’t even seen it and she doesn’t care what either one of them thinks anyway. Party over.

Next time, more fitness, Briana discusses Christy with Matt who accuses Christy of being on drugs, Tonya confronts Angelique about what she said about Kerwin.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda goes to The Countess’s room. The Countess tells her the bad news about Tom. Jules joins them and The Countess goes to Bethenny’s room and asks to see the picture. Bethenny gives The Countess her phone. Yep, that’s Tom making out with someone at The Regency bar. Bethenny tells her that he was making out with this girl for an hour and he was very drunk, even leaving her with the tab. The Countess runs to the bathroom.

The Countess tells Dorinda and Jules. Dorinda is shocked that it happened and also that Bethenny chose to tell The Countess just before they’re leaving Miami. Dorinda asks if she’s sure about the date and tells her to get all the facts first. I totally get why Bethenny did this just before they left. She didn’t want to ruin the trip, but she wanted The Countess to know before she went back to the city.

Sonja, Carole and Ramona go to Bethenny’s room where she’s hiding under the blanket. Ramona tells her not to blame herself and that it’s already all over NYC and this wasn’t the first time. Ramona says she wishes someone had prepared her before she found out about Mario on Page Six of the Post. Bethenny says she and The Countess aren’t that close and she hated to be the one to tell her. Ramona says better her than The Countess finding out through the press. Bethenny orders Sonja to get her some alcohol, stat.

Dorinda encourages The Countess to call Tom. She says The Countess will get through it one way or another.

Bethenny says she didn’t want things to be gossipy. The Countess knocks on her door and she asks the others to leave. The Countess claims she was with Tom on the day in question, so this isn’t possible. Bethenny, between a million apologies, tells her she talked to the manager there, trying to do a CSI before anything was said. In her interview, Bethenny says if you’re going to drop a bomb, you have to be ready to answer follow-up questions. Bethenny suggests The Countess needs to have her info lined up before she talks to Tom. The Countess asks if Bethenny knew when they got there and she says she did. The Countess gets a text from Tom saying he’ll call her later.

Bethenny says she knows The Countess loves Tom, but she’s not so sure she’d trust him. The Countess says she knows Tom loves her, but he was probably drunk. In her interview, Bethenny says The Countess should run and that the whole thing happened too fast. The Countess asks how Bethenny could keep it to herself. She says she spoke to Carole, but only because she had to tell someone.

The rest of the girls discuss. Sonja wonders why everyone is so surprised.

The Countess says she’s not going to let this ruin her marriage. Bethenny gives her the time frame and the phone rings. Bethenny tells The Countess to use her bathroom. Apparently, Tom says he has no recollection of anything. The Countess keeps telling him she saw the picture and asking how he could do this, especially in public. She finds out that after he left her, he went out. He tries to make it sound like it was just a kiss, but The Countess says it was going on for over an hour. He claims it will never happen again, but she says how can she know that? Bethenny wishes she could disappear and not hear all this. The Countess says she can’t do this right now and walks back to her room.

The Countess tells the other girls that she needs to handle things. She doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Ramona is crying and tells her they’ll work it out. In her interview, Sonja says The Countess doesn’t want to deal with reality because she just wants ot get married. Yep. The Countess tells Dorinda she doesn’t want to talk about it and proceeds to talk about it. Dorinda says she didn’t know this side of Tom. She says he has to make it right because they’re all too old for this. The Countess demands a Bloody Mary and calls for Bethenny. She’s pretty distressed that everyone and their mother knows.

Bethenny – oh, I got distracted by The Countess’s ultra cool sunglasses – tells The Countess this is why she asked her if they were monogamous. She thought maybe they had an arrangement. She gives The Countess some straight vodka. The Countess agrees that she would rather know now. Carole says saying he doesn’t remember is the oldest line in the book. The Countess goes to pack.

Carole tells Bethenny that The Countess is in total shock. Ramona says if he’s doing this now, it’s not going to stop.

Back in the city, The Countess checks into a hotel. She says she needs to wrap her head around this. She and Tom are meeting the next day and she needs to make a conscious decision about things. She calls Jules, since she can’t get ahold of Dorinda. She asks if it’s too early to start drinking. In her interview, The Countess begins to justify Tom’s actions.

Dorinda is sick and Ramona comes over bearing chicken soup. Ramona says The Countess doesn’t want to deal with pain, so she sweeps things under the rug. That’s an understatement.

Carole visits Bethenny. Bethenny says she’s reached out to The Countess several times, but she’s not texting back. She wonders if she’s the bad guy now. She tells Carole about The Countess telling Tom how dare he do this publicly, and focusing on what things looked like, rather than the actual problem.

Dorinda tells Ramona that The Countess called her from The Regency and handed the phone over to Tom. She says Tom wants to bring waiters to Dorinda’s to “explain” things and have Dorinda be the messenger to the other girls. When she said no, he told her if she didn’t do it, she’s not invited to the wedding and not allowed to be friends with The Countess anymore and hung up on her. Are we five? Is he Dorinda’s father? What’s up with that? Tell you what, if someone I was engaged to said something like that, we’d be done. What a d-bag, tool, and whatever other crappy word comes to mind.

Ramona calls Tom an a-hole, saying he should just admit what he did and apologize. Dorinda says there’s no getting away from the pictures. Ramona says this isn’t the first time and it’s not going to be the last. She says they haven’t even gotten to know one another and you can’t base a relationship on lies.

Bethenny tells Carole that Tom wanted Dorinda to “take a bullet” for him. Bethenny is also having a party and wonders if Tom is going to be there and how awkward that might be.

The Countess tells us that she and Tom talked and he’s devastated. She says the kiss meant nothing. They’d had an argument and Tom went to The Regency and “fell into the girl’s clutches.” Please, please and please. And why didn’t we hear about this argument earlier? She says she’s not going to let a silly kiss ruin her life. She calls Jules and asks if she can go to the party with her. All of a sudden she wants to confront Bethenny about her detective work and why she’s so curious about Tom. Um…somebody else sent her the picture and brought this into her life.

The venue where Bethenny is having her fiesta looks awesome. There’s a photo booth with props and a Margarita pinata with 10K worth of both fine and good costume jewelry in it. I want to go to one of Bethenny’s parties. Adam has a new short haircut that’s a hit with the ladies. Bethenny says Carole and Adam are the only ones who really seem like their relationship is a good one. When The Countess arrives, she says she’s working on things. In her interview, Bethenny says The Countess and Tom are already out and about partying and The Countess has low self-esteem. She says you have to love yourself in order to not get taken advantage of.

Sonja has been set up with Rocco. She says he has good qualifications, but she doesn’t know if he’s the boyfriend for her yet. She says The Countess has been keeping her distance, since she doesn’t even want to deal with the first issue of Sonja having dated Tom.

Here comes John with Dorinda. We haven’t seen him in a while. He and Bethenny have come to a truce. I don’t even hear what Bethenny says because I’m concentrating on the pinata, but The Countess comes flying over, saying if Bethenny doesn’t stop talking about her, she’s leaving. Okay, I know she didn’t say anything about The Countess. Bethenny says if she wants to leave, fine, but they were talking about the pinata. In her interview, Carole says Tom should have been the pinata. The Countess says don’t talk about Tom, but Bethenny says they weren’t talking about him either.

Ramona says she couldn’t sleep and The Countess tells her to shut up about Tom. Ramona says she was thinking about Mario. The Countess says she and Tom are in therapy and in her interview, Ramona wonders if they’re doing therapy at the bar. She doesn’t understand why The Countess wants to “succumb” to this kind of relationship.

Jules has an eighth anniversary coming up. She says the number eight is lucky in the Asian culture and is hoping that it brings them good fortune. D’oh!

Dorinda wants an apology fir being dragged into the Countess/Tom thing, but says the party isn’t he place to discuss it. Thank you. The Countess talks to Adam and Carole and manages not to breath fire. Jules tells Bethenny that Dorinda told her she should stand up for herself and that Bethenny said she’s like a sick patient. Bethenny calls over Dorinda, who says she doesn’t remember what she said and Bethenny says she’d better remember something. Geez. Dorinda says Bethenny said Jules reminds her of her mother and can’t be around her. Bethenny says she’s allowed to have a perspective and feelings.

Dorinda tells Ramona she’s sweating bullets and Ramona blots her pit with a bar napkin. Eww! Bethenny tells Jules she loves her, but doesn’t apologize. Everyone does the photo booth thing and Jules puts a giant cardboard watermelon slice on her head. Personally, I like Carole’s choice of teeny tiny sombrero.

Bethenny tells The Countess she heard The Countess was angry with her. The Countess wonders why Bethenny had so many details. She tells Bethenny to stay out of her life with Tom and what happened means nothing. Bethenny says she shouldn’t have told her and if she sees him screwing someone on the street, she’ll keep her mouth shut. The Countess says she and Tom love each other and Bethenny says she could tell by the way he acted two weeks into the engagement. The Countess says Tom made a mistake, she’s a grown woman and will make her own decisions. She leaves. In her interview she says she just wants to be with Tom and be in her own bubble. Exactly. Finally, a word of truth from this woman.

It’s pinata time! The only rule is that no one can get two pieces of the fine jewelry. The girls rip the pinata apart. Dorinda gets a diamond martini glass. Ramona loses her shoe in the frey.

Since it’s the finale, we get some parting words about each of the women. Sonja has had three dates with Rocco; Jules is in the process of divorce; John and Dorinda are still dating, but not living together; Carole and Adam are still together, but the cookbook is on the back burner; Ramona is still dating, but making sure none of them have dated her friends: The Countess’s wedding is still on; Bethenny is finally done with her divorce – no more bleeding financially or otherwise.

Bethenny makes a toast to the empowerment of women and says they’re all still standing.

Next time – The Reunion part one.

My favorite exchange this season – The Countess: Don’t let it be about Tom. Bethenny: It’s about Tom.

August 17, 2016 – GH’s Test Results, Little LA’s Friendships Tested & NYC Wives Test Miami’s Waters

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu presents various nursery lamps for Dylan’s approval – in the interrogation room. He suggests maybe she’s getting a little ahead of things.

Laura and Tracy wait for the DNA test result on the bracelet. Tracy says Monica put a rush on it, but obviously not as much of one as Nell’s kidney test.

Franco startles Elizabeth, popping up from the back seat of her car.

Kristina leaves a message for Parker, telling her she’s rude for ignoring her calls, wondering if her mother dictated Parker’s letter, and babbling in general. Actually, she seems drunk. Molly hears her, grabs her phone, and throws it over the railing.

It’s time for Alexis to face the bar. And I don’t mean in a good way. Diane thinks she has a shot at redemption.

Tracy tells Laura that she’s sorry about Nicholas. She says they worked together on a project once, and he was very good. Laura is worried about the DNA results. Tracy says Luke has almost met his end a million times and he wouldn’t allow it to happen on Cassadine Island.

Lulu tells Dante she doesn’t want to believe her father is dead. She hasn’t heard back from Lucky either. She says Dante and Rocco are getting her through, as well as the plans for the new baby.

Okay, Kristina is drunk dialing. She claims she was going to call an Uber and tries to go after her phone, but Molly stops her. Kristina tells Molly about Alexis driving Parker away. She says their mom has interfered in her life for the last time and she hopes they throw the book at her.

The moderator reviews what happened with Carrrlos and Alexis refusing to consider the DA’s offer. He asks if she disputes any of it. Diane says no, and the judge says all that’s left is the closing statement. Geez, everything moves so fast in Port Charles, you’d think it was some huge cosmopolitan city. Olivia bursts in asking if she’s too late.

Elizabeth jumps out of the car. Franco says he needs to talk to her and it seemed like the only place he could do it. He tells her he’s sorry.

Olivia says she’d like to make a statement. The moderator says they have it on paper, but she wants to make it in person. She says meaning no disrespect, they’re all being played for fools. The moderator says by who, and Olivia brings up Mayor Lomax, saying the mayor wants revenge and they can’t let her get away with it. The moderator says even though unorthodox, they thank her for her statement. Alexis asks to speak on her own behalf.

Kristina says she wants Alexis to lose something she cares about and to have consequences for her actions. Molly says she’s mad at Julian, but doesn’t want Alexis to lose her license. Molly says they need to have the kind of love where you let someone hate you so they don’t hurt themselves. I have no idea what she means.

Tracy says it would be just like Luke to be relaxing half a world away while they worry about him being dead. Laura apologizes for being against Luke and Tracy getting married. Tracy says it was all for the best in the long run, but Laura asks if she’s still in love with Luke.

Alexis starts from when she was born, and tells the bar how her mother’s murderer was never prosecuted. She says she became a lawyer because she grew up with no justice. She tells them that Carrrlos killed Duke under Julian’s orders, but chose not to give Julian up, and her desire to protect Julian had nothing to do with it. She says honoring the client’s wishes sometimes is at odds with what’s best for them, and legal counsel can only improve by learning from mistakes. She says she will do better, but can’t if they won’t let her try.

Molly says it never occurred to Kristina that Parker might be using her. Kristina accuses her of getting off on it because it makes Molly look better. She says she can’t wait for the day that Molly realizes that she’s never really lived. Molly calls her a mean drunk. She says every time Kristina has a choice, she picks the wrong one, always leaning toward chaos.

Franco says he didn’t know that Elizabeth was the one who got him off the hook and he’s sorry. He adds that she let him go on a tirade and could have clued him in. He says he thought she doubted his innocence and doubted getting involved with him. He asks if that’s no longer the case.

Lulu talks about furnishing the nursery with flea market finds and Dante says he knows nothing about refinishing furniture. She says she does because she looked it up on the internet. Lulu gets a call from Dr. Lee telling her that her malaria test is negative. She can start hormone treatments now.

Tracy says she’s tried not to be in love with Luke, but hasn’t been able to shake him. Laura talks about falling in love with Luke when she was just a girl and going on an adventure with him. She says they got married and had kids, but she never grew up because he was always there to save her. She says Scotty always treated her like a child too, and when people treat you like a child, you continue to be one. She says she finally started to grow up when there were no more kids to raise and no husband to please or define her. She’s finally started to define herself.

The DNA samples don’t match the bracelet.

Elizabeth tells Franco she was uncomfortable on their date. She could have fooled me. She says for a while she could see him as an eccentric artist, but his past is violent and unstable. She says sometimes he triggers memories of who he used to be. She gives him the it’s me, not you speech, and says she doesn’t think she can make peace with his past and doesn’t think they should see one another any more.

Out in the hall, Alexis thanks Olivia. She says Olivia was right to worry about Julian and protect Leo, and apologizes for getting Leo’s DNA behind her back. Olivia says she was fooled too, and actually believed Julian could be a good father. She leaves and Alexis and Diane are called back in.

Kristina tells Molly to get lost, and that she doesn’t need her judgments. She screams in Molly’s face and Molly leaves. Kristina sits down and cries. Molly comes back and hugs her.

The moderator gives Alexis all kinds of props, but says she acted negligently in Carrrlos’s case. He says for that reason, they can’t allow her to continue practicing law in New York state. Diane says she’s going to appeal, but he says they didn’t rule to disbar, just suspend. Indefinitely. They’ll reconvene in a year and review Alexis’s conduct. If it sucks, she’ll be disbarred.

Lulu finds out about Luke and hugs Dante. Olivia comes in and wonders why Lulu is crying, but seems happy. Lulu tells her that her dad is still alive and also that she’s getting an embryo implant. Olivia is thrilled.

Tracy says they still don’t know where Luke is. Laura says that’s not unusual and that he frequently falls off the grid. Tracy thinks Laura is gearing up to track Luke down and says she can help, but Laura says she’s not going to do it this time.

Olivia’s intuition tells her that Lulu is going to have a girl. Dylan says he doesn’t doubt Olivia’s psychic powers, but he’s skeptical. Olivia says fine, but they’re having a girl. She leaves and Lulu and Dante say they don’t really care which it is.

Franco says he thinks there’s something special between him and Elizabeth. She thinks they should end it before it ends badly and they hurt each other. Franco says he lied a little about the painting of her. He says it’s true that he sees her as beautiful in an ugly world, but she’s an angel who gives him hope. He thought she might be his salvation, someone who looks past the evil in his life that he’s tried to distance himself from, and sees there’s still good in him. She says he has to find salvation in himself.

Diane orders martinis for her and Alexis at the MetroCourt. She tells Alexis to take some classes or something and the year will fly by. Alexis says it won’t and she’s made spectacular errors in judgment, but she was good at her job. She says she doesn’t know what she’ll tell her kids. Diane says the kids will be fine and she’ll find a reason to get up in the morning besides work.

Laura tells Tracy it’s not her place to go after Luke anymore and she has people who need her. Tracy asks if Doc is one of them. Laura says she was thinking about Lulu and Spencer, but she does want to see Doc. She tells Tracy if she loves Luke, she should go find him. Tracy leaves another message for Luke, saying it’s time for him to call. She doesn’t want to know where he is, but only that he’s okay.

Franco says Elizabeth is right and it’s not her job to save him, He says he’ll find salvation on his own. Elizabeth tells him he has a gift and should use it, and to keep painting salvation in art. He kisses her on the cheek and says he’ll see her around.

I count five martini glasses, but don’t know who drank what. Diane says she has to get up early and has to go. She tells Alexis she’s sorry this is happening. Alexis says it’s not that she wasn’t warned and next time stop her before she self destructs. Diane tells her she’ll get through this and she’ll call her tomorrow. Alexis orders another martini and says keep the tab open.

Kristina asks Molly why she’s still there. Molly says she’s still her sister and she doesn’t judge her, she looks up to her. Kristina says she doesn’t deserve Molly’s niceness. Molly says she does, and if Parker didn’t make her feel that way, it’s time to move on. She suggests getting a pizza and watching a movie. They leave for home.

Kristina’s forgotten phone rings. It’s parker

Tomorrow, Laura argues with Hayden, Finn is close to an answer, andClaudette isn’t going anywhere.

Little Woman: LA

Kerwin is highly pissed because Tonya still has to get some of her stuff from Jaa’s place. Kerwin says she’s wasting his time. Tonya says it’s not her fault and she thinks Kerwin is being unreasonable. Tonya is hurt that Kerwin doesn’t believe or trust her. In her interview, Tonya says she wants to make this work and will do whatever it takes. Kerwin says he’s out of there. Tonya says she’ll take care of it, but he says seeing is believing.

Elena’s twins have been released from the hospital after only two weeks. Both Kairo and Xavier are just over four pounds each and so precious, like little baby dolls. They still have to do a genetic test to see if either one is a little person, but for now, Elena just wants to enjoy them.

Briana and Terra have an appointment with a photographer to do pregnancy photos. In her interview, Terra says she’s glad to let the Matt issues go and is ready to have fun with Briana again. Briana’s photos are beautiful, but Terra’s are more “out there.” She wants her baby to think she was cray.

Terra discusses Tonya’s comment about it being good that Briana is having a little baby rather than average sized, because she just can’t understand the comment had nothing to do with her and wants to continue to take it personally. Briana says whatever stature her children are, she’s still large and in charge. She wonders who Tonya is to judge her. Terra says she hasn’t spoken to Tonya since she critiqued Tonya’s active-wear, except they all went to that henna thing together – did that not count or did she forget? In her interview, Terra says she wants to make amends with Tonya because they’ve been friends for 15 years, but she doesn’t want Tonya looking like a fool with her clothing line. She’s also afraid that at some point, Tonya is going to explode.

Jasmine has been doing some extra hours at the salon. She’s not ready to tell her boss she’s pregnant and wonders if there’s anything else she could do to get some extra income. Welcome to my world. She asks her boss about picking up even more work, and her boss suggests sending her to classes so she can expand her hairdressing horizons. Jasmine is excited to be furthering her career.

Matt and Briana go shopping. She tells him about the photo shoot and how well it went with Terra. Matt says he needs to learn how to accept people for who they are and move forward. Briana repeats Tonya’s comment that Terra repeated to her. It’s become a game of telephone and Briana says Tonya claimed she couldn’t handle an average sized child. Matt suggests they just focus on the coming baby.

Tonya is dealing with a thinning spot on her scalp and goes to the hair salon. She discusses it with Jasmine, who also has a thinning hair problem. Jasmine tells Tonya that her salon deals with that a lot. Jasmine says it’s a huge step for Tonya to confide in her, and lets Tonya know she’s pregnant in return. Tonya says Christy is going to be pissed.

Jasmine asks if she missed anything after she left henna day. Tonya tells her about Terra criticizing her clothing line, but says she didn’t receive it as constructive and didn’t think Terra was coming from a good place. Jasmine suggests she tell Terra that this is her dream and either support her or not.

Commercial break. It’s a preview of Little Women: Atlanta. I just can’t anymore. Monie, Money, Minnie, twins whose names I can never remember, whatever. I can’t deal with those girls who are basically going nowhere. At least nowhere there isn’t twerking.

Tonya meets Christy, who has a terrific new haircut and color, at the gym. They work on the Pilates machines. Christy talks about how difficult exercise classes can be for little people. Tonya says she could only invite Christy, since she’s the only one who isn’t pregnant. I’m sure Jasmine will really appreciate her scooping that news.

Once again, Tonya relays what Terra said about her active-wear. She tells Christy about the Habitat for Humanity – Power Women/Power Tool volunteer day she’s invited everyone to. Christy says she’s missed everyone and Tonya says they’ve missed her too. I think Tonya might be exaggerating just a little.

Terra comes to see Elena’s twins. I’m not much of a baby person, but even I want to squish them. She asks how it is caring for both of them. Elena says it’s a lot of work, but better than having them in the hospital. Terra shares a Penny poop story. She asks Elena if she knows if the babies are little or not. Elena says she doesn’t really care as long as they’re healthy. In her interview, Terra says she’s going to get the test right away, so she can be prepared, but she thinks Elena doesn’t want to know because she’s scared. Now who has opinions about someone else’s baby? They talk about Habitat LA, but Terra says she was invited before her fallout with Tonya, so she isn’t sure how that is going to go.

Christy was supposed to go to a jewelry making class with Autumn, but Autumn still isn’t well, so her mom comes instead. Her mom immediately tells the clerk she hates crafts and he’s like, alrighty then. They discuss Autumn and Habitat LA. Christy says she’s been so involved with her own family, she hasn’t had time to think about hanging out with the girls. She says she won’t be happy to see Terra, but she’s glad Tonya reached out to her with the invite. Christy makes a face at her mom’s bracelet making skills, but I think it looks cool.

Jaa brings the rest of Tonya’s stuff to her house. Jaa tries to make peace with Kerwin and Tonya says she just wants to disappear. He says he wishes Kerwin would reconsider his and Tonya’s working relationship. Tonya says she just wants Kerwin to be happy. Kerwin says it’s nothing personal, but he’s not comfortable with Jaa being Tonya’s ex. Jaa accepts that and it’s peace out.

Tonya and Jasmine meet for lunch. Because no one can leave it alone, Jasmine brings up what Tonya said about Briana having a little baby. Tonya says Terra didn’t understand her point. She says Briana doesn’t have a strong personality and even her daughter runs over her. Jasmine says it’s upsetting to other little people moms and Tonya says she’s not talking about them, she’s talking about Briana specifically. In her interview, Tonya is seriously annoyed. She tells Jasmine that Matt is also who he is, and with Briana’s situation, that’s how she feels. Jasmine says she’ll drop it then and Tonya steals some of her cake.

It’s Habitat LA day. While the director is getting Tonya set up with a ladder, Christy arrives. She plans on steering clear of Terra and hopes they keep Terra away from the chainsaws. She tells Tonya that when Terra is pregnant, she turns into an alien. And by that she means from another planet, not another country.

Terra shows up. In her interview, Tonya says she hopes “that heifer” stays focused and keeps her mouth shut. Terra isn’t thrilled to see Christy, but is glad Christy is wearing a hard hat, so she doesn’t get any more “contusions.” Christy tries to be nice, but Terra isn’t having any. Terra tells Tonya she’s been ignoring her calls and says that her inviting Christy would be like if she invited Jaa, which makes no sense. Tonya suggests she just concentrate on volunteerism.

Christy, Tonya and Terra do some spackling. Terra want to talk it out with Tonya, who doesn’t want to discuss it there, but Terra presses the issue. Tonya tells Terra that she hurt her feelings. She says the workout line is her vision and when she’s ready to talk about it, she will. Terra wants to know why they can’t have an adult conversation and Tonya says they will, but not here. Christy tries to interject that it’s not the place because this is for charity and Terra tells her to STFU. Tonya says maybe Terra shouldn’t be there then, and she stomps out.

Next time, vegetable picking, Kerwin is having a party and doesn’t want to invite Terra, Terra comes anyway and starts a fight.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Oh, that’s right. Bethenny is going to tell The Countess what a jerk Tom is. This should be good. Especially since I’m sure The Countess will try to justify it.

Bethenny tells Carole and Ramona that Tom has been unfaithful to The Countess. Ramona tells her not to say that and Carole thinks maybe it’s not him, but Bethenny has a photo. Ramona totally freaks out because everything is all about her. Apparently Tom was drunkenly making out with an ex-Playboy centerfold at a bar for quite a while – after his engagement to The Countess. Ramona wants to see the picture so they can “take a vote” if it’s really him. Yeah, right. Bethenny says it’s him.

Ramona is getting a manicure and can barely keep her sh*t together when The Countess comes in to talk to her. Ramona just gives her bug eyes and a smile while she prattles on. Bethenny shows Carole the picture and she confirms. In her interview, Bethenny says it’s not a question of if, but of when and how. She thinks that The Countess is really in love with the whole atmosphere of getting married though, rather than her upcoming groom.

Bethenny, Sonja and Ramona are waiting for Dorinda and the rest to arrive for dinner. Ramona has told Sonja about Tom, and Bethenny gets pissed. Ramona acts like she didn’t know any better. Sonja talks about having slept with Tom and almost meeting his mother not too long before he became engaged to The Countess. Bethenny wonders if The Countess knows the timeline. Wow. This restaurant is right on the water and I want to be there. At another table. The girls order appetizers.

Dorinda finally arrives with the rest of the women. Sonja and Ramona tun to the table, taking seats to block Bethenny from The Countess. Bethenny bitches at them for being late. Carole is the perpetrator and says she told them to leave without her. A gigantic bowl of iced shrimp comes out and it makes everything better.

The Countess talks about not knowing where Tom is tonight, but not being the jealous type. Dorinda has planned some kind of sandbar trip and Ramona is worried about not getting food if she goes. Dorinda explains that there’s food there. Geez, if you’re that worried, pack a snack. Ramona doesn’t want to come and Dorinda thinks she’s rude.

The ladies change venues, sans Bethenny and Sonja. It’s a really cool Spanish bar where Jules gets up on stage and tries to play the trombone. Now she’s wearing what looks like a vase on her head. That Jules, what a card! Ramona touches up her makeup, telling them she’s going out. Aren’t they out already?

Bethenny tells Sonja that once she gets moody, it’s hard to shake. She says there’s a part of her that feels bad for The Countess, but another that feels like The Countess should have known better. Sonja thinks she should talk to Tom. No. Bethenny asks for his phone number. No. Bethenny dials and says she feels like throwing up. There’s no answer and she says he’s out banging somebody else. She gets voicemail and hangs up. She tells Sonja she’s going to sleep on it.

The next day, Bethenny doesn’t think she can be around The Countess and doesn’t want to ruin her weekend. Carole says that Tom is now saying that Sonja was only a one night stand. He sounds like a real d-bag.

The rest of the girls join them. Ramona tells everyone she’s tired and she’s not going to the sandbar. I don’t know if it’s a place named Sandbar or a sandbar. Ramona isn’t fooling anyone as they know she’s really going shopping. When she changes, Dorinda says she doesn’t look like someone who’s going back to sleep.

Bethenny decides to go shopping with Ramona. She tells Dorinda that Sonja seems to be processing the Tom stuff. Dorinda didn’t realize that Sonja was that involved, but Bethenny says Sonja was going to meet his mom around Thanksgiving. Carole joins them and they discuss whether or not there will be a wedding. Dorinda seems surprised they would even wonder about that, and Bethenny says Dorinda has no understanding about The Countess. In her interview, Dorinda thinks there’s too much focus on the negative.

Dorinda resigns herself to the fact that the girls are going to do what they want. Minus Bethenny, Sonja and Ramona, they get in a small, but very comfortable boat. Drinks and appetizers are served. It looks like the sandbar is really a sandbar. Some guy in a passing boat yells C’est le vie to The Countess and she goes out of her mind with joy because they’ve recognized her and know her “music.”

The other three go to a restaurant. Bethenny has decided to talk to The Countess before they leave Miami. In her interview, Ramona wonders if Tom thinks he’s invisible.

Carole gets into a canoe to go on a food run. She comes back with ice cream and everyone wonders why she didn’t bring hot dogs. She says she ate one on the way, but didn’t think they’d want any. Carole. The Countess talks about Bethenny questioning her and asking if she and Tom are monogamous. Carole tries to defend Bethenny, saying that Bethenny is just concerned because of her own experiences.

Bethenny tells Ramona about trying to call Tom. She says the right thing to do is to tell her friend.

The Countess wants to correct Bethenny’s misconceptions. She says she had an open marriage with The Count, but it wasn’t what she wanted; she just put up with it.

Dorinda tells Jules that Ramona is a dog that bites and the girls who wouldn’t come along to the sandbar were rude. Bethenny has heard that The Countess isn’t happy with her, so she’s invited her friend, Romero, a famous artist, to dinner. The better to deflect things. The Countess doesn’t know who he is and thinks it’s bizarre that she would bring him.

The Countess asks why Ramona and friends didn’t want to go to the sandbar. Dorinda says Ramona was ill-mannered by pretending she wanted to relax, but Ramona says she relaxed at Bagatelle. She and Ramona hug it out. Honestly, it’s not like Dorinda had to go by herself.

The Countess says blah-blah-blah about Tom and Sonja claims to have been a one night stand for ten years. I have to add that Sonja is wearing a tiara.

It’s the end of the trip. They’re getting ready to leave and The Countess goes to Bethenny’s room. She says something has been bothering her. She says she was hurt by the way Bethenny talked about her and The Count cheating on one another, and felt she cheapened the beauty of their marriage. She asks why Bethenny would ask if she was monogamous with Tom.

Bethenny says she apologizes for what she said about The Countess’s marriage. The Countess again asks why Bethenny asked about she and Tom being monogamous. Bethenny says she has something that was dumped in her lap, and she doesn’t want it to be happening, but she has to show and tell The Countess something. The Countess says please don’t let it be about Tom, and Bethenny says it’s about Tom. She says it’s something true, and she has pictures, and she doesn’t want to be doing this.

The countess says she can’t and leaves. Then she can’t get into her room and tells the cameraman to stop filming. She talks to herself about Tom, saying please don’t let him be stupid.

Next time, The Countess calls Tom, Jules wears a watermelon on her head, Dorinda argues with Bethenny, and Ramona makes it about her.

July 27, 2016 – GH on Cassadine Island, Little Women in LA & Wives in NYC

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan and Maxie bask in the afterglow, although for a second I thought he was with another woman, since I’m not used to brunette nuMaxie.

Claudette hasn’t found out about the coffee shop yet, so she sits at the MetroCourt. She pulls the framed wedding photo of her and Nathan out of her purse. I guess she carries it with her instead of one of those pesky wallet photos. Why fool around?

Diane and Alexis meet at the coffee shop. Diane asks what the face is all about and tells her it’s no time to have cold feet. Alexis doesn’t think she can face the arraignment. Diane tells her to put her big girl pants on, because if she shows up with her divorce attorney, it will send a strong message to the bar. She asks if Alexis still has feelings for Julian and Alexis shows her the divorce papers, telling her that she already delivered a set to Julian.

Scotty tells Julian bail doesn’t look good. Julian was hoping Ava would be back by now and helping him out. Sonny shows up. He says payback is just getting started. For the first time since he joined the show, I’m on Team Sonny.

The group wanders around Cassadine Island. Doc has to stop and Ava says they should keep moving. Doc says to go on without him. Puh-leeze. Shouldn’t they have phone reception by now? I distinctly remember Valentin using a cell phone in the tunnels yesterday.

Laura says no one is going anywhere. She asks Dante if he had any medical training. Doc is like, excuse me, I’m an actual doctor, and asks for a mirror so he can see the wound. He says it’s not good and the bullet needs to come out now. I’ve never been a doctor, or played one on TV, but it doesn’t look that bad to me. And it’s pretty far away from any vital organs.

Alexis says she doesn’t think she can do it. Diane says she won’t be alone, but I’m questioning the outfit Diane is going to wear to court, a colorful hoodie and denim skirt. Is the dress code more lax at an arraignment?

Sonny says he’s a concerned citizen wanting to see justice served and laughs about Julian’s recovery. He says he’s been seeing a lot of Anna lately, emphasizing her connection to Duke, and the best thing would be for Julian to rot in prison. He says Julian will have to watch himself for the rest of his life since he has so many enemies. Paul comes out and says there won’t be any press, but private citizens are okay. Sonny wonders if Julian realizes how badly he screwed himself.

Dante finds a knife and Lulu produces some ancient first aid kit or sewing kit or something. Dante says he’ll take out the bullet, but the others need to hold Doc down. Doc starts yelling before Dante even does anything. Doc says Dante will have to hold him down and have Laura take out the bullet. He tells her to put the booze she’s holding on the wound. Um…maybe he should drink some? Doc gives Laura instructions. Oddly enough, Doc barely makes a peep as Laura cuts into him.

Nina calls Claudette. She tells Claudette she needs to come in because the next issue of Crimson has to be perfect due to Julian’s mess.

Maxie – who is wearing a black knit dress with white birds on it that I’m in love with – goes on to Nathan about Claudette. She says she should have listened to Nathan and Nina and gotten rid of her when she found out Claudette used a fake name when she applied for the job. Nathan brings up the shooting, but Maxie says she doesn’t think Claudette wants him to go to jail. She thinks Claudette wants to stop their wedding and says Claudette needs to go. She says they’ll have to fire her for performance problems and shows Nathan a flash drive Spinelli sent to her. She says they’ll talk about it later.

Laura gets the bullet out. So come on, Doc, let’s get going. Laura asks if he can take a little more pain and he says he doesn’t have a choice. Laura gets a needle and fishing line (?) from Lulu. Ava tells Dante they’re sitting ducks. He says Jason and Sam will be back soon. Ava is afraid that Valentin might have stopped them, and wishes they’d taken the guards phones. (You mean to tell me not one of them took a phone?) She says Julian could call in some favors. Dante tells her about Julian’s arrest.

The judge lists the charges and asks Julian if he understands. Julian keeps silent. Alexis walks in with Diane and he says he understands.

Nina is on the phone. She says if the charges against Julian turn out to be true, Crimson will have nothing to do with him anymore. Maxie sneaks into the office and does something with the flash drive and the computer.

Claudette shows up at Nathan’s. She says they need more closure. She says she wanted to speak with Maxie privately because she hasn’t been totally honest, but since he’s there, she’ll be honest with him first. She pulls that big honking picture out of her purse again.

Paul states his case about denying Julian bail. Scotty says nothing has been proven, yet the DA claims Julian is a flight risk. He wants Julian to be released on bail into the custody of his wife. I make a noise out loud. Sometimes I watch GH like some people watch football.

Ava refuses to believe Julian tried to kill Alexis. She says she should be back in Port Charles helping him and tending to Avery. Lulu approaches and Ava explains how she ended up with Nicholas. She says at first it was a fun game, but she got to know Nicholas. She tells Lulu how terrible he felt for lying to his family. Lulu says she never stopped loving him and Ava says he was special. Laura joins them, saying Doc is okay for now, but it wasn’t the most germ free scenario. She wonders where Jason and Sam are. Ava says she’s sorry about Nicholas and talks about how much she liked him. She says he was a complicated, but good man. Laura says if he hadn’t come back to the island, he’d still be alive, and the island is cursed. Lulu thinks about the earring she found.

They hear someone coming and hide. Yeah, just leave Doc out there in the open though. Geez, after all these people have been through in their lives, you’d think they’d be a little better at this.

A girl pops out and Dante asks who she is. She says her name is Daphne and she lives on the island. Dante asks if anyone sent her there. She says no, but Ava doesn’t trust her.

Nathan wonders why Claudette is walking around with the photo. She claims she suddenly found it in her bag (okay). She makes up a bunch of nonsense and says she realized she’s over him and wants to move on with her life. She says she wanted to send a clear message and drops he photo into a garbage can. The glass shatters. She says the only thing she wants from him is closure. He says he needs to talk to Maxie. Claudette says she’s got to get to work and will leave that to him.

Maxie continues to mess around on the computer, downloading malware to corrupt Claudette’s files.

Diane flies up to the bench and says Julian has terrorized her client and tried to murder her. She says he’s delusional. Julian gets up and starts whining about how he and Alexis love each other. Is he on the same show as everyone else? The judge tells Julian if he doesn’t knock it off, she’ll call him in contempt and have him restrained. She says there will be no bail.

Scotty tells Julian thanks for ticking off the judge. Julian says bail wasn’t going to happen anyway. Scotty asks what the floor show was for. Alexis asks Julian if he’s nuts. He doesn’t answer that, but tells her he still loves her and thinks she still loves him too. She says he destroyed all of it and she’s there to make sure he pays for what he’s done. He says it’s never going to be over for them.

Maxie says she hopes Claudette is ready to work because there’s a lot of pressure on this issue. Nina comes in with Claudette’s work and says it’s a disaster and can’t go to print. Claudette says someone must have messed with it. Maxie asks if she’s been hacked. Nina tells Claudette she picked a bad day to screw up and calls Maxie into the office. Nina wonders if Claudette gave them someone else’s work when she interviewed. She says she has no choice but to fire Claudette and hire a temp. They go back out and Claudette has a geek working on her computer.

Daphne says she doesn’t want any trouble and promises she won’t tell anyone she saw them. Doc groans and Laura says he has a fever. Daphne offers some antibiotics, but Ava is afraid it’s a trap. Daphne says hers is the only house on the street. When she mentions the street name, Lulu says, omg.

Nathan calls Maxie, leaving a message about her stopping by and saying that they might have been wrong about Claudette. The geek fixes Claudette’s computer. Claudette talks about some cryptic email that was sent when she was out of the office. They hit reply and it goes back to Maxie’s computer. I don’t really get this and I’m pretty computer savvy.

Scotty is like, that went well, and tells Julian that Alexis has nothing but contempt for him. Julian says Alexis is saying one thing, but her eyes say another. Yuk. Scotty says the police have a recording of his confession, but Julian says they’ll see about that. I hope they made copies.

Sonny asks Alexis why she lied to him.

Lulu asks what the exact address is. When Daphne tells her, Lulu says it’s the return address of an empty envelope she received in the mail.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Alexis about Parker, Claudette wants to say good-by, and Doc thinks he’s not long for this world.

Little Women: LA

I missed the first couple of this season’s episodes, but the main points are: No one knows where Briana is, Elena has preeclampsia, and Terra has decided not to find out the baby’s gender or if it has dwarfism until it comes.

Terra, Tonya and Christy also did a panel at Drag-con. where Christy and Terra buried the hatchet. Sort of.

The news is out. Briana is in the hospital with a bowel obstruction. Facetiming with her, Elena asks if she’d like anyone to visit and Matt says no from the background. When Elena hangs up, she tells Preston the whole thing is kind of sad and because of Matt, none of Briana’s friends or family know what’s going on.

Jasmine and Tonya are taking a workout class. Afterward, Jasmine asks about Kerwin. Tonya says he’s on his way to move in. Their daughter is returning from college as well. They discuss Matt and Briana. Briana has been ignoring Jasmine and Christy’s calls, and Christy thinks she’s in an abusive relationship. Tonya tells Jasmine that if she wants a relationship with Briana, she needs to step back. She adds not to let Christy’s opinion affect things.

The girls get together for dinner. Elena gives them an update on Briana. Jasmine is upset at being cut out of Briana’s life just because she doesn’t like Matt. Christy says Briana’s family has been contacting Christy in hopes of finding something out. Busybody Christy told them about the rumors that Matt has been seeing a transgender woman. There’s a discussion about Matt. Jasmine feels like he’s isolating Briana. Tonya tries to explain they need to back off because that’s who Briana wants with her. Jasmine gets upset and leaves.

Christy goes dog bed shopping with her mother and fills her in on the Briana discussion. She gets weepy over thinking that Briana might not even be getting her texts. She says Briana is losing her identity.

Jasmine and Chris are doing some gardening. It’s rare for Chris to get an afternoon off. Jasmine asks him about the railroad, but he hasn’t gotten scheduled yet. He says it feels wrong for Jasmine to be working so hard while he waits for his dream job. Jasmine says it works for them and she doesn’t care what anyone says.

Jasmine says with her type of dwarfism and hypothyroidism, her health is always of concern. Whenever she gets sick, she has to stay a step ahead so it doesn’t turn into something else. She wants to try and strengthen her immune system.

Briana is home. She says she was on her way out for a spa day with the girls and just fell over in pain. The pressure of the baby has caused her intestines to not work properly. She tells Matt it was the most terrifying experience of her life. She and Matt discuss how early on, the doctor said there might be a choice between saving her or the baby. Matt tells her they’ll make it through this.

Matt says when Briana first went into the hospital, he called Preston and Christy. He was trying to head things off, but then started getting texts and threats from Briana’s family. Briana is annoyed that Christy brought her family into it. She says she gave Christy another chance because she promised to stay away from Briana’s family. Now she doesn’t even want Christy having her new address.

Terra wants to make sure everything is clean before she has the baby, and that includes bathing the cat. Joe thinks it’s a little extreme and possibly insulting to the cat. Zelda the cat certainly takes it better than most of mine ever had. OMG – don’t put her near your face, Terra!

It’s move in day for Kerwin. Tonya has a few things to say about the clothing he’s brought. She can’t believe they’re actually doing this after all these years. She says she wants them both to put 100% into the relationship. Kerwin says she needs to cut all ties with old relationships. Tonya’s ex is also her business partner and Kerwin is not down with that. She says he still has some stuff of hers that slipped her mind, and Kerwin isn’t thrilled.

Jasmine visits Briana, bearing flowers and a gift. Briana reached out to her, but Jasmine is uncomfortable with Matt around and thinks Briana won’t be honest with her. She tells Briana she was hurt that she Facetimed with Elena, but not her. She says Briana is her number one girl. In her interview, Briana says Elena and Preston have always been supportive. Jasmine says she’s still having a hard time with what Matt did and she worries about Briana. Briana tells her that Matt was with her 24/7 while she was sick and is being the husband he’s supposed to be. In her interview, Jasmine says she’ll take Briana’s word for it, but Matt has a long way to go to prove it to her.They discuss Christy’s nose being in Briana’s family business. Briana says she’s done with Christy.

Jasmine brings Chris breakfast in bed, along with a note from their new baby. Her way of telling him that she’s pregnant. She’s concerned about the health complications, since she’s already having some issues. She tells Chris she has to talk to the doctor. He says if she has to be on bed-rest, he’ll do whatever is needed. She says she knows they’ll make it with him in her corner. In her interview, she says whatever comes their way, she knows they’ll get through it. I vote to put Chris in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum. A man who actually cares.

Tonya’s daughter, Angelique, calls a family meeting, saying she wants to establish some rules. It’s kind of silly, like she tells them no sex in the house if she’s there. She asks some questions like if they want to get married and why he’s suddenly moving in. When Tonya and Kerwin start to kiss, Angelique runs for the hills.

Terra and Jasmine go for a spray tan. Jasmine says Terra is pregnant and asks if that’s a risk. The clerk says during the first trimester, you should be cautious. Jasmine opts out of the tanning, and Terra realizes why. Jasmine is happy that she and Terra will be pregnant together this time. Terra asks if she’s worried about anything and Jasmine says the only thing on her mind is Chris. She’s hoping the railroad calls soon, just in case she ends up on bed-rest.

Briana has emailed Christy to meet her in the park. She says Christy has crossed way over the line and she doesn’t want Christy in her life anymore. Christy brings a housewarming gift and asks how the baby is. Briana says fine, and tells Christy that she’s moved and changed her phone number, but she doesn’t trust Christy with the information. Christy asks if she got her texts and Briana tells her she wasn’t in a position to answer them. Christy tells Briana that her family is worried. Christy asks to talk to Briana alone. Matt says fine, but tells her about the death threats he got from Briana’s family because Christy interfered. Briana tells Christy that Matt didn’t do anything to deserve this and Christy says, yes he has. My jury is still out about Matt, but I do think Christy needs to back off if she wants to salvage this friendship.

Christy claims the threats have nothing to do with her, and Matt says yes they do, since she’s the one who contacted Briana’s family. Matt leaves and Christy says Briana’s family wants to be with her. Briana says Christy broke her promise not to contact them. She says Christy also hired her publicist, and when Briana found out the publicist was being a mole for her family, she dumped her. Christy keeps saying she didn’t go behind Briana’s back, even though it’s obvious she did. Christy says if Briana wants to have an open marriage, that’s her business, and brings up Matt’s sexting. Briana says Christy can hate Matt all she wants, but she asked Christy to do one thing which she couldn’t do and now Christy is dead to her. In her interview, Christy says it’s like Briana has Stockholm Syndrome.

In her interview, Briana says she doesn’t know why Christy is so surprised. She leaves the gift on the park bench.

They don’t give a preview for this show and I’ve always wondered why.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda tells Sonja that Bethenny is sick again and won’t be going to Hawaii. She thinks Miami might be better since it’s not such a long flight. She says The Countess is in Palm Beach, so they can hook up with her too.

The Countess and Ramona join them and Dorinda fills them in on the plan change. In her interview, Ramona complains about not going to Hawaii. The Countess says an engagement party on a friend’s yacht has already been planned and now the girls can come too. The Countess calls Tom to let him know the change in plans. In her interview, Ramona complains about that too. Ramona leaves for a doctor’s appointment. Dorinda says she doesn’t dress like that for the doctor, and maybe Ramona is going to a “personal gynecologist.”

Jules goes shoe shopping. She’s excited about Miami, since her parents aren’t far from there. Ramona and Sonja join her. We look at tons of cute shoes that nobody in their right mind should spend that much money on. Jules has decided to go down a day early to visit with her father, who is out of the hospital and feeling better.

Ramona talks about how The Countess told the press about not caring that Sonja and Ramona went out with Tom before she did. Apparently, they got things mixed up and named Ramona as the friend with benefits. Why anyone should care, I’m not sure. Ramona thinks The Countess shouldn’t have mentioned her at all. Sonja and Jules discuss the three date rule and sloppy seconds.

Bethenny is having the girls over to discuss the Miami trip. Carole shows up with a huge scratch on her face from her boxer’s overzealous greeting. A boxer dog, not a human boxer. Bethenny tells them about the ski trip with Brinn and how it was a good bonding experience.

Dorinda brings up The Countess’s engagement party, and says they’ll be going to Palm Beach first on Friday. Ramona wonders why Tom asked The Countess out when he was still dating her. Why are we still belaboring this point? Bethenny says she’s not going on Friday and reads the text she sent to The Countess. Bethenny talks about having a Mexican party to thank them for their support.

Dorinda calls Carole, who is skeptical about the engagement party, but wants to meet Tom. She admits to being curious as to how it’s going to go with Tom, The Countess, Ramona and Sonja on the same boat.

Jules visits her parents. She’s happy to see her dad up and around again. Her drink is coming out at Whole Foods in a few weeks. She says she didn’t expect to be a business owner, but it’s empowering. Her father tells her how proud he is and jokes that she can take care of him now in his old age. She calls the kids and one of them whines that their father isn’t there yet. She says she’ll call him. She’s annoyed that he’s not filling in the way he was supposed to when she was away. Of course all of this is colored by the fact they’re getting a divorce now. It makes me wonder if any fast editing was done after that announcement was made. Jules tells her parents about the Miami trip and how much the girls fight.

Ramona wants Sonja to carry her bag because she’s a selfish twit. Sonja refuses. Good. The Ramona type, who wants you to wait on them, does not fly with me. I always tell them I’m not their boyfriend. The Countess is getting ready for her guests on the yacht. Jules arrives first. The Countess talks about how happy she is.

Ramona asks Dorinda if The Countess still has a problem with her. Sonja thinks Dorinda is stirring the pot. Ramona and Sonja flirt with the driver, embarrassing Dorinda since he’s their daughters’ age. Ramona is still ticked about what The Countess said to the press and won’t shut up about how she was dating Tom when he asked The Countess out. Dorinda thinks the whole thing isn’t right. Ramona thinks The Countess was deceitful in how she picked up Tom when he was out with someone else.

The girls arrive at the yacht. Sonja picks up a glass of champagne and Ramona takes it out of her hand. The Countess hands her another glass and in her interview, Ramona says she’s a bad influence. We tour the yacht. I actually like it better than the Ionian Princess on Below Deck Mediterranian. It’s nicely decorated, not busy and not garish. The Countess is shocked when Ramona says she doesn’t care what room she’s in.

The girls change into bathing suits while Dorinda talks to The Countess. She tells The Countess about Ramona’s remarks concerning the press. The Countess says she doesn’t want to talk to Ramona and nothing is going to ruin her party. Dorinda asks who’s talking to the press. The Countess says she can talk to whoever she wants, since it’s her story, but doesn’t answer the question.

Ramona asks Sonja to take a picture of her. Carole is the last to arrive. In her interview, she says she and The Countess have had their ups and downs, but she’s genuinely happy for her. The Countess tells everyone about the men who’ve been invited. Ramona asks for a list of the invitees because everything is all about her and she wants to know who she can swoop down on. The Countess says she’s not inviting Ramona to anything anymore.

Bethenny is already in Miami. She talks to a friend about The Countess and Tom, and how he was dating Sonja and Ramona. She says The Countess is the biggest barracuda of all of them. She talks about someone sending her a series of texts that would blow up the engagement, and she thinks there’s a possibility of the wedding being canceled if the news gets out. She says she’s going to have to tell The Countess about it. Oooh, tell us first.

The Countess says Tom’s mother is in town and they’ve been looking at wedding venues. Ramona brings up Tom having dated her and The Countess says he was definitely a player, but it’s all BL – before Lu. She says she was a player too, but they’re a perfect match.

The girls get ready for the party. Tom arrives and puts the moves on The Countess. The rest of them gather in one of the bedrooms and Ramona pumps Sonja for information on the last time she saw Tom and how she’s going to feel tonight. Ramona says it would be too weird for her, since the last time Sonja saw him, they were romping in the sheets. Sonja says it’s fine, but Carole wonders if it won’t be awkward. Sonja says she’s getting emotional. Well, yeah, because these insensitive morons won’t shut up. She says she didn’t know he was seeing The Countess. Ramona says that The Countess knew Tom was seeing her and Sonja is like, wha-a-a-at?

Next time, the party commences, Ramona acts like an idiot, Tom is uncomfortable, Sonja is sad, and The Countess tells Ramona to shut up.

July 20, 2016 – GH & NYC Wives vs the Mohegan Sun

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Darby and Dillon bask in the afterglow. Bleh. Kiki sees Darby’s hashtags about their date.

Carly asks Morgan how it’s going. He says the new job is more his speed rather than lugging coffee bags around. He says he has plans with Kiki, but she might not be in the best mood after a run in with Dillon.

Sabrrrina tells Michael that Teddy’s getting better every day. He’s obviously distressed and she asks what’s wrong. He says he thought they were building a relationship, but he found out she applied for a lease on an apartment.

Alexis calls the hospital to see what’s up with Julian. Kristina asks what she’s doing.

Sonny wants to see Julian, but Felix says it’s after hours. He gives Sonny the skinny on Julian’s condition. Sonny thinks the timing is pretty convenient.

Julian talks to himself since he has no one else to talk to. Oh, wait, Carrrlos is there! He says Julian should have killed Alexis while he had the chance and now he has no future. He only has prison to look forward to.

Darby brings up Kiki, but Dillon says they agreed to stay away from that subject. She asks about his job and he says he looks at it like he’s a storyteller. Love her earrings, but it’s highly doubtful she’d be wearing gigantic ones to hit the sheets in.

Carly asks what happened with Kiki and Morgan tells her that Darby was with Dillon. He says Darby isn’t Kiki’s favorite person after she caught Morgan with her, so she was obviously annoyed. He asks about the kidney donor project and Carly says she has a couple of leads. Morgan tells her not to give up because he didn’t and now he’s president of the United States.

Carly sees Kiki outside. She asks about Kiki’s argument with Dillon. She says Kiki told her in the park that she was done with Dillon. Kiki says she is and Carly says she hopes so, because she doesn’t want Morgan’s progress hindered.

Alexis suggests that she and Kristina talk about Parker. She asks Kristina if she’s going to see Parker while she’s in town.

Sonny tells Felix that Julian is staging the whole thing. Meanwhile, Julian chats with Carrrlos, who tells him he took too much of the drug that gave him a heart episode and he’ll be joining Carrrlos soon, but at least that’s one way to get out of jail.

Sabrrrina says this isn’t the way she wanted Michael to find out. Michael says he thought they were finally in a good place and he was thinking about Teddy and their future, but now she wants to run away again.

Dillon has to leave for work. Darby keeps thinking up reasons he should stay, but it’s a no. He says he’s picking up food at the MetroCourt to eat in his office.

Carly says she’s not trying to attack Kiki and she understands if she has problems with Morgan, but she doesn’t want Kiki to lead him on. Kiki says she’s not and she knows how important the first few months out are. Carly leaves and Kiki meets Morgan, who got them a room at the MetroCourt. He says he doesn’t want to wait any longer, but Kiki says she doesn’t know if she’s ready.

Kristina says there’s no point in seeing Parker, since she’s dedicated to her wife. She just wants to put it behind her. Kristina leaves and Alexis looks at her wedding photo, which is creepily in the same place where the dagger was in the cabinet. She flashes back to the wedding.

Felix checks Julian’s vitals. Sonny watches from the doorway.

Carly sees Dillon at the MetroCourt and approaches him. She asks about Kiki, saying it seems like they’re pretty close. She says Morgan is completely invested in Kiki and things might go bad if Dillon continues to pursue her. Not too much meddling.

Kiki says she doesn’t know what the big rush is. Morgan says he never stopped loving her. Kiki talks about the last time they were together and how his medication interfered. She wonders how he’ll react if it happens again. Morgan says he has his emotions under control now. Kiki says things were good until they went bad, and she doesn’t know if she can do it again. He asks if she still loves him.

Kristina goes to Parker’s hotel room. Parker tells her she shouldn’t be there, but Kristina says she’ll just be a minute. OMG – I love her shirt! It’s blue with thin white stripes, and has a crossover neckline. The huge sleeves are the best part though. Parker says it’s Kristina’s closure, so she should say what’s important. Kristina tells her she’s moving on and has met a great guy.

Felix tells Sonny his presence is agitating the patient. Sonny says the patient is a coward who’s afraid of his own shadow, and leaves. Julian says something about “him” being there. I’m guessing Felix thinks he means Sonny, but he’s talking about Carrrlos. Felix tells Julian there’s plenty of security and he’ll be fine. When Felix leaves, Carrrlos returns, popping out from under the bed. That Carrrlos, he’s such a card.

Alexis runs into Sonny at the hospital and says she wasn’t expecting to see him there. He asks if she’s there to visit Julian.

Sabrrrina says the last thing she wants to do is run away. Michael asks why she’s leaving then. She says she doesn’t want to take advantage of him. She wants to give him his space, and if they’re going to date, they shouldn’t be living together. He says he doesn’t want space and everything he needs is right in front of him.

Parker asks if Aaron knows about her. Kristina says yes and no. Parker asks if she left out the part where she’s a woman, which Kristina admits. Parker tells Kristina that her journey is her own and she’ll know who the right one is, whether it’s a man or woman. She tells Kristina she wishes her all good things. Kristina notices Parker isn’t wearing her wedding ring and Parker tells her the marriage is over.

Carly asks Dillon what’s going on between him and Kiki. Darby is suddenly at the table with something Dillon left at her apartment.

Kiki tells Morgan she just wants to take her time. He starts to get agitated, saying he’s always going to be stupid and a screw up. She kisses him and tells him he’s wrong about that. They start making out.

Julian says Carrrlos isn’t real. Carrrlos says what’s real is that he’s going to prison. He says thanks to Julian’s wife, the cops have all the evidence they need. He laughs about how Alexis got Julian to admit he killed both Carrrlos and Duke. He says the world knows who he is now and there’s no going back. Unless…

Sonny tells Alexis that Julian took something to stall the arraignment. He asks why she’s there and she pulls out divorce papers, asking him if he can think of a better time to serve Julian. Sonny says good for her.

Michael tells Sabrrrina he’s not asking for a commitment and the priority is Teddy’s health. He asks if they’re dating and she says yes. They kiss. His phone rings with an ELQ crisis. He says he’ll be back as soon as he can. He asks if he can rip up the application and Sabrrrina tells him she and Teddy aren’t going anywhere.

Kristina tells Parker she feels horrible, but Parker says it has nothing to do with her. She says it was a long time coming. Parker starts to cry and Kristina puts her arm around her.

Morgan and Kiki get to the hotel room and he tells her all systems are go. I guess so, since the next stop is the bed.

Darby and Dillon make out for a second and Carly is like, don’t let me interrupt. Carly leaves, and Darby asks what Carly was questioning him about. Dillon says it was a misunderstanding.

Carly goes behind the bar. Sonny is there and she says she wants to buy him a drink. She says they just dodged a bullet and tells him about her meddling. Sonny tells her she should mind her own business and that Morgan would be mortified if he found out. She says he’s not going to because Darby is with Dillon now.

Morgan focuses on Kiki’s scar and says he did that. Kiki says no, he didn’t, and she remembers almost nothing except his voice and his arms around her. She tells him she loves him and she came back for him. She says the scar is ugly, but a beautiful reminder that they didn’t die. There’s a song part while they do-dee-do-dee-do. I crop some pictures.

Julian tells Carrrlos that he’s not real and to go away. Carrrlos says there’s only one way out, to kill Alexis. Although that doesn’t make much sense, since the police already have the evidence. Julian says he wishes he could go back and re-do it all because he loves Alexis so much.

Sonny says Carly dodged a bullet, but not the one she thinks. He says Morgan would be highly pissed off if he found out, and makes her promise to stay out of it. Carly gets a text from the donor she’s supposed to meet. Sonny says he wanted to run interference, so she didn’t have to be disappointed if things didn’t pan out. She promises not to get her hopes up.

Darby asks about later, but Dillon says he doesn’t know how long he’ll be working and he’ll call later. She leaves and he sees a picture of Kiki on his laptop. Meanwhile, instead of basking in the afterglow, Kiki doesn’t look very happy.

Kristina says she knows what Parker means by being confused. She is too. She says Aaron is a great guy, but she can’t help thinking about Parker. They kiss. A lot. And start taking off their clothes.

Alexis approaches Julian’s bed. He’s sleeping and she tosses the divorce papers onto the bed. Onto him really.

Sabrrrina says she and Teddy are finally getting their happy ending. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Carrrlos. But he’s all cleaned up with his hair back in nice clothes. Ha-ha! Told you he’d never die. I wonder if it’s a twin or something.

Tomorrow, Franco has something for Elizabeth, Lucy asks Scotty what he wants, and Sonny says he’ll help Finn if Finn helps him out.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Mohegan Sun trip! The hotel is kitschy, but cool. I like stuff like that. Niagara Falls, Canada, is one of my favorite places in the world. It’s like something out of the 50s. Surprisingly wisely, Ramona has everyone draw for the rooms. Like pick-a-card. Since she’s the hostess though, she already has her room set up. Dorinda says on a trip, two things are certain, Ramona gets the best room and Carole and Bethenny bunk together.

Jules tells Sonja it’s odd that the creator of the Skinnygirl brand is picking on a real skinny girl. She says she’s never sharing anything personal with Bethenny again, and that for someone who claims to know so much about eating disorders, Bethenny doesn’t know how to treat someone who has one. Good point. I like Bethenny, but sometimes she goes too far.

At dinner, Ramona’s holiday party is rehashed. Bethenny doesn’t want to hold a grudge against Sonja, who she thinks doesn’t mean any harm. We travel down Memory Lane about Sonja’s nonsense. Bethenny claims Sonja has more clarity now that she’s stopped drinking. They discuss the bus trip over. Dorinda was once a step instructor and apparently displayed her talents on the way there. She and Bethenny discuss step and yoga. Bethenny shows off a pose where she’s basically on her head doing the splits in the air. Ramona talks about how no one answers their phone anymore. None of them can get in touch with The Countess.

Next, the girls do a little gambling. Not my thing. I think they’re playing Blackjack, but I think everything looks like Blackjack. The extent of my gambling career is an evening in Atlantic City at the slot machines while waiting for a Barry Manilow concert. Neither one of us wanted to be there. In her interview, Bethenny says when she was broke, she loved to gamble because what’s more money on your credit card? (Well, your credit rating, for one.) But when you’re successful, losing fifty bucks makes you cry. Dorinda says she’s a Catholic gambler – when she gets the money, she’s all excited, but when she loses, she wants to crucify herself.

Ramona and Sonja dance with glow sticks on the patio.

Carole got an email from an agent saying the proposal for the cook book is adorable and marketable. She reads it to Adam. She tells him that it will be about a year before it comes out, if they sell it. She talks about her friends and how no one has “figured it out” yet as far as relationships go, and that they seem to be the most “normal” of the bunch. She points out how everyone razzed them in the beginning. Carole says no matter what, they’ll always have Paris the book. They talk about what might happen if they break up. On a scale of one to ten, Carole says her happiness is an eight. Adam says his is a ten, but Carole doesn’t believe him because he waited for her to go first.

Ramona goes shopping with Sonja. They discuss the trip to Mohegan Sun and Sonja points out that they all got along, which is probably why we saw so little of the trip. She says it means a lot to her that she and Bethenny reconnected. Ramona wants to organize an engagement party for The Countess. Sonja thinks she’s out of her mind. Ramona can’t get ahold of The Countess and wants to text Tom, but Sonja tells her not to. Too late, she already did it. Sonja thinks it was a bad idea and that The Countess might not like it since Ramona and Tom had dated. Ramona suggests Sonja not bring up that they both had relationships with Tom anymore. Throughout this entire scene, Ramona has been wearing a faux fur maxi vest that she was trying on and I can’t help but notice the clerk keeping an eye on her. And rightly so, since she’s been known to walk off with clothes she doesn’t own before. On top of it, she joked about how she could walk out with it. On second thought, I’d be making her take it off unless she pays for it.

Bethenny puts an Elsa-from-Frozen hat on her dog and takes a picture. She and her assistant are packing up some stuff for Brinn, who Bethenny is taking on a ski trip. Bethenny is disappointed that she’s going to have to take it easy because of her medical issues. She’s also concerned about the altitude. Her assistant doesn’t think it’s a good idea for her to go at all, but Bethenny says she doesn’t want to disappoint Brinn. She thinks Bethenny is a little bit in denial about being sick.

Ramona and Dorinda meet for lunch. Or dinner. Ramona tells Dorinda she finally got ahold of The Countess and told her they want to do something for her. Dorinda can’t figure out why Ramona would want to be the one to host the party. She mentions that The Countess isn’t too thrilled about her having dated Tom. She says when you’re dating someone, you want to forget anyone else existed in their life. Ramona says The Countess told her everything is cool now. We flash back to their talk when The Countess reamed her out. Dorinda thinks it’s a better idea for her to host, especially since she introduced them.

Jules, who’s wearing a fabulous high-end sweatshirt, is meeting with a potty training specialist. It’s only two grand for a guarantee the kid will learn to use the toilet in a few days. I am not making any of this up and think I might change careers. One of the first things the trainer tells her is to say, “it’s time to go,” rather than asking if they “want to go,” which makes it sound like it’s optional. That makes perfect sense, but not $2000 worth.

The girls are meeting at a restaurant to celebrate The Countess’s engagement. Dorinda conferred with The Countess, who wasn’t comfortable with Ramona throwing a party and preferred that Dorinda organize it. The Countess is late, and Dorinda tells everyone that she thinks now that they can get along, they should take a real trip. She passes out leis to let them know it’s going to be Hawaii. In all my years on this earth, not one of my friends has surprised me with a trip to Hawaii.

Carole shows up, saying she didn’t know she was going to get leid. Ha-ha, groan. They discuss whether The Countess is mad about Tom having dated Sonja and Ramona. It seems to be a split decision. Carole says if anyone deserves to be married, it’s The Countess, as she’s a better woman with a man than without one.

The Countess arrives. In her interview, she says the night is all about her, so she’s going to put the last gathering behind her. Carole tells The Countess that she’s genuinely happy for her and gives her a gift of a heart crystal. The Countess shows off her huge yellow diamond ring that Tom picked out. It’s okay. He proposed during their trip to Vail and The Countess tells them all about it. A toast is made. In her interview, Sonja says she hopes The Countess is sure, since she never thought of Tom as the marrying type.

The Countess says they’re probably going to wait until the new year to get married. In her interview, Sonja says a year from now, The Countess could be engaged to someone else. The Countess passes around a picture of Tom proposing. Who took that? The Countess holds up her glass to make a toast when Ramona interrupts with her own. The Countess tells her to back off and makes her toast.

Next time, a yachting cruise, Bethenny gets a text and wonders if the wedding is off, Ramona wonders how Sonja is going to feel seeing Tom again.

** Interesting information: I was watching The Bravos, and Patricia Altschul from Southern Charm won the Susan Lucci Award. She thanked her son, Whitney Sudler-Smith, for being the creator and producer of the show. I hadn’t known that!

 

July 13, 2016 – GH & the Wives of NYC

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis takes off her wedding ring set. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Sonny. Alexis thanks him again and he says he’s just glad she’s okay, but she wonders if she is.

Hayden tells Tracy she has a problem with being a drug mule. Oh come on, Hayden, it will be fun. Finn is looking everywhere for something and tearing the room apart, like it’s a scene out of Lost Weekend. He finds nothing but an empty vial. He tells Roxie not to judge him. He tells her that he knows he hid a couple of doses somewhere; he just has to find them.

Franco approaches Elizabeth at the hospital. He applied to an art camp for Jake and she wants to know why. Franco says it’s a great opportunity for him. Elizabeth says it’s two grand that she doesn’t have. Franco tells her to read the whole email and points out that there’s financial assistance. Elizabeth says her other two boys want to go to camps, but she’s not likely to get scholarships for all three. Franco suggests an online campaign, but Elizabeth nixes that idea. She says it would have been better if he’d checked with her first.

Claudette talks to Nina about the job. Nina thinks she’s going to be a perfect fit. Maxie comes in and Nina toasts with her coffee, asking what the “C” in CJ is for. Maxie says “Claudette,” and Nina chokes on her latte. Nina asks her to explain. Claudette says CJ is her professional name. Nina tells her she’s fired.

Nathan tells Griff he’s been officially cleared in the hospital murders.

Alexis tells Sonny to go ahead and tell her “I told you so.” She says at one point, Julian did leave the mob and it was a great ten minutes. Sonny says he knew what Julian is capable of and Alexis says she thought she did. Sonny says he’s her friend and wants her to know it. Where did this gregarious Sonny come from?

Hayden says she wants to help Finn, but not at the expense of her own freedom. Tracy says she’ll do it herself, but Hayden has to tell Finn.

Alexis says she’s made some bad life choices, although at least she got children she loves dearly out of them. She says no wonder she’s confused. Sonny says it’s over and Julian is on his way to prison. Alexis says she should have turned Julian in earlier and Sonny says hindsight is 20/20, but he has no doubt she’ll rise up again.

Tracy and Hayden go to Finn’s room. He asks them to come back later, but Tracy says it will only take a minute. She sees the condition of the room and asks if he lost a contact lens. He explains that he was looking for doses he’d hidden. Hayden says the Feds are looking at her, so she doesn’t want to be a mule. Tracy says to just tell her where to go and who to talk to, and she’ll take care of the rest. Finn thanks her, but says Hayden is right. He doesn’t want either one of them getting his drugs.

Maxie asks for a moment with Nina. Maxie tells Nina that Claudette can sue if she’s fired for personal reasons, although I’m not sure about that. Nina asks why Maxie wants her there, and Maxie says because she doesn’t trust her and wants to keep an eye on her.

Epiphany is going out of her mind at the desk. There’s a sick-out because of the serial killer being on the loose. Nathan tells her it’s high priority and they’ll bring the killer to justice in no time.

Franco tells Elizabeth he’s just learning to be considerate and thought he was doing a good thing. She thanks him for being supportive, but thinks boundaries should be set. She says if he has any ideas about Jake again, to talk to her first.

Sonny tells Alexis to give herself a break and blame Julian. He says she got enough evidence to send him to prison. Sonny asks her how she faked the pregnancy test. She tells him she learned a lot of things in law school and Anna knows some good tricks too. Don’t tell us or anything.

Tracy tells Finn she’ll bring the mountain to Mohammed. He tells her to remember the last time she left US soil and almost lost her life, and that her body is still recovering. Tracy says she’ll be the judge of what she can handle. Finn says as her primary physician, he doesn’t think she should be taxing her body right now. Tracy says his only solution is Hayden. Finn says he doesn’t want her to risk it.

Nina tells Claudette that maybe she overreacted in being protective of Nathan, and the job is hers. She adds that Claudette should thank Maxie and makes something up about what Maxie said. Curtis has shown up and Nina takes him into her office. Maxie offers to show Claudette around.

Nina gives Curtis his first assignment on bad plastic surgery. She talks about surgeons leaving people maimed and broke. She says his mission is to investigate the frauds. She’s made an appointment for him. He says he’ll investigate Claudette at the same time.

Elizabeth asks Epiphany not to schedule her and Franco together. She says whatever Franco thinks they are, he’s mistaken and he’s been overstepping his bounds. Epiphany says she’ll do it. Franco lurks by the water fountain.

Sonny tells Alexis she was brave. She thanks him and says she never wants to do anything like that again. Sonny says when she shoved the knife in Julian’s back, he wasn’t sure if she was protecting him or it was because Julian had it coming.

Tracy thinks she can convince someone to take the trip on her behalf. Finn finds a dose he’d hidden and asks if she doesn’t think enough people know about this already. Hayden hustles Tracy out, and Finn gives himself a shot.

Curtis says he’ll get some dirt on Claudette to give Nina leverage. Nina gives Curtis the information she has on Claudette and tells him what Claudette said about why she applied for the job under a different name.

Maxie sees Claudette’s purse and almost picks it up, but Claudette comes back with coffee. Claudette thanks Maxie, who says she did what’s best for the magazine. Claudette tells her she’s just there for the job. She’s moved past her relationship with Nathan and wants what’s best for him. Maxie asks what that is. Claudette says obviously it’s Maxie, but they don’t have to socialize outside of the office if Maxie doesn’t want to.

Epiphany asks what Franco wants. He asks what’s the point in being a better person when it doesn’ t get you anywhere? I know the feeling. He says he’s through with being nice.

Sonny says maybe it’s best Julian didn’t die so Alexis isn’t shouldering the blame. She says she’s glad that he’ll spend the rest of his life behind bars paying for his crimes. Sonny says he used and abused Alexis, but in the end, she took him down.

Tracy and Hayden confer. Hayden thinks Finn has a point. Tracy says if she’d gone alone, she would have at least found out what drug it is. Hayden pulls a paper out of her purse that she swiped from Finn’s room. It has the name of the drug on it.

Nathan asks Griff who was on duty when Lucas was treated, but Griff doesn’t remember. Maxie runs in, telling Nathan they need to talk. Griff leaves and Maxie says she needs a favor.

Alexis tells Sonny she’s going to meet with Diane later. He asks if she’s all right and she says she will be eventually. He says he’s there if she needs him. Outside, he makes a phone call, asking if it’s all set. Alexis checks her phone. She sees dates marked on the calendar. Hmm…is she really pregnant?

Nina tells Curtis to get something on Claudette quickly, and he says he’s already on it.

Maxie wants Nathan to take Claudette to lunch.

Griff tells Finn it’s great to have him back, and that he looks better. Finn says he doesn’t need Griff monitoring him and that it’s none of his business. Geez.

Hayden tells Tracy they can get the drug without leaving the country. She says she knows someone who can help, but it’s the last person on earth she wanted to ask for a favor. (Her mother?)

Franco gets in the elevator with Elizabeth. She asks how his day is going and he stops the elevator.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Carly for a promise, Maxie asks Nathan if he’s afraid, and Jordan asks if Andre made a decision.

The Real Housewives of NYC

We return to The Countess stomping off from Dorinda’s dinner party. Jules and Dorinda try to get her to come back. The Countess says she came for a drink like she promised and everyone came down on her. Dorinda tells her to call in the morning. In her interview, Dorinda says that The Countess sometimes has a misconception of how she’s viewed.

Dorinda tells the other girls that The Countess has separated herself from the group. Bethenny talks about when The Countess used her Countessness to separate herself early on, and then calls out Ramona for being on her phone. Ramona is texting The Countess an apology. Sonja brings up the Tom thing and how it wasn’t like she was interested in anything serious with him. Everyone talks at once and Jules says they should let The Countess be happy. Bethenny talks about how self-absorbed The Countess is.

Jules tells Bethenny that she’s sometimes the same way, and when she tried to show Bethenny concern, Bethenny ignored her. Jules tells Bethenny she’s sick and tired of Bethenny treating her like she’s stupid. Bethenny talks about Jules baking the measuring cup into the calzone (really, that happened) and Jules says it was a joke. Jules says Bethenny puts people down and thinks it’s funny. We flash back to Bethenny being sarcastic with her. Jules says she’s been genuine and she trusted Bethenny. She says Bethenny has been talking smack about her marriage behind her back.

Bethenny says she never did that and has always said positive things about Michael. Bethenny wants to know who said that. For some reason, Bethenny thinks Jules is indicating it’s Dorinda. Dorinda talks about something that Jules had told her about Michael and we flash back. Dorinda says she did tell Jules to be careful who she talks to about her marriage and her eating disorder. Jules thinks they’re missing the point – that she doesn’t want them talking behind her back. She says they should address her personally.

Bethenny says she’s been distant because she grew up around an eating disorder. Jules tries to talk and Bethenny says let her speak. She says part of the disease is about lying and she’s allowed to protect herself. She says she hasn’t said anything bad about Jules either. In her interview, Bethenny says it was like a bank robber moving in with an FBI agent when Jules joined the group. Jules says she wrestles with her disease all the time, but she’s trying to be accountable, telling them she threw up recently. Sonja says she feels Jules has always been honest. Dorinda thinks Behenny and Carole have been insensitive. Carole says she knows denial when she sees it.

Dorinda says she’s not doing any more events since they all end up being a sh*tshow. Ramona wakes up from her phone trance and decides she wants to take a girls trip to Mohegan Sun. All of the arrangements have been made and they’re leaving on Tuesday, minus The Countess who has a previous engagement. Everyone just rides along on the Ramonacoaster and I’m dumbfounded.

The Countess is walking with Ramona in the city, and tells her that she’s disappointed about the other night. Ramona says she’s disappointed too, because The Countess didn’t feel Ramona had her back. The Countess says that Dorinda told her that Ramona isn’t her friend. In her interview, Ramona says that just because she says something less than positive doesn’t mean she’s not a friend. She points out to The Countess that it takes a year to get over a major upheaval and no one should rush marriage. The Countess says she’s old enough to know better. She tells Ramona not to judge her and it’s none of her business.

She says she doesn’t care about Sonja or anyone else who came before her. In her interview, Ramona wonders why she’s so upset about it then. Ramona tells The Countess that she broke girl code when she scooped Tom out from under another girl who’d been dating him for several months. It sounds like the girl went to the bathroom while they were on a date, and The Countess walked out with him.

The Countess says the only bright side of the evening was Carole. Ramona says Carole suggested they talk. The Countess says she’s going off to Vail with Tom, because she’s the type who dumps her girlfriends the second a guy is in the picture.

Dorinda visits Carole, who says they both seemed to be part of the tirade Jules was having about something that didn’t happen. Adam is there cooking cauliflower pizza. Bethenny arrives. They discuss Bethenny’s medical issues. She’s been getting some kind of IVs to combat the stress. She brings up the dinner party. Carole wonders why Jules singled out Bethenny. Carole isn’t sure what Jules was trying to accomplish besides alienating them.

Bethenny swears she’s been treating Jules like glass and thinks Jules is paranoid because she told Bethenny some secrets, even though Bethenny swears she’d never repeat them. Bethenny says she isn’t mad about it, but she doesn’t want some kind of talk with Jules to make things right. I’m fascinated with Adam’s pizza crust.

Sonja is mapping out her dinner party. Only Dorinda, Jules and their significant others are invited. Jules is also bringing a date for Sonja.

She’s borrowed her brother-in-law’s butler for the evening, and has an intern greeting the guests. I’d forgotten about John until he and Dorinda show up. Michael and Jules bicker outside the door. Eww! Michael’s hair is always slicked back and greasy looking. Mystery guest, Rocco, arrives and Sonja already knows him through mutual acquaintances. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s like a dance of the peacocks. Sonja is happy with the promised Rocco.

The table looks beautiful. John points out how huge the napkins are and Sonja explains that they’re 100 years old and back then, you used the napkin for a week. Huh. Rocco is impressed with the old world vibe. Jules is pleased with her own match making talents.

Dorinda is proud of Jules speaking her mind at the previous dinner party. Jules tells the others about how Bethenny and Carole hit a soft spot. Sonja says that Bethenny’s honesty was great, but she can’t be a real friend with the issues she has. Jules says she and Carole broke her trust and she’s not going to tell them anything personal anymore. Dorinda compliments Sonja on the dinner party.

Ramona has the party bus stocked. If all buses were like this, I’d take them all the time. Sonja just had oral surgery and seems a little loopy. Ramona is glad that they’re off to a good start and we flash back to the Atlantic City debacle from last season. She says they can feel the tension between Bethenny and Jules though.

The Countess is officially engaged. They discuss The Countess and happiness for a while. Sonja is a little disappointed that she’ll be losing a roommate. Bethenny talks to Dorinda about the Jules thing. Jules wonders if they think she’s deaf or want her to hear. Dorinda realizes the volume and removes herself to get a drink.

Jules tells Dorinda she can’t believe the obsession with her. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s nothing new for the bus to split into groups. Bethenny decides to talk to Sonja and tells her that she was hurt when Sonja came to her office to talk about Tipsy Girl. She says she didn’t handle it well. Sonja says she realized she had to step back and gather her thoughts about what she’d done and give Bethenny space. Bethenny says Sonja has a good heart and she wants to let it go.

Next time, Mohegan Sun, lots of drinking, lots of gambling, and The Countess shows off her ring.

July 6, 2016 – Hospital Soap & Big Apple Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian is under the misconceived notion that he’ll be able to raise one of his children from birth. Anna sits in the truck, conferring with Alexis about the wire and testing it. Paul and Jordan are in the truck with Anna. Anna tells Alexis they’re going to do everything they can to keep her safe.

Sonny and Carly talk to Avery about the fireworks like she has a clue. She literally asks for her daddy and imposter Sonny says he’s right there. It must be a real blast when these kids start talking, and yelling things like “WEEWEE!” spontaneously.

Jason and Sam see the picnic on the coffee table. They’re puzzled as to where Ava and Nicholas are. Um…it’s a huge place, put on your thinking caps. In the wine cellar, Ava sees a mouse and her yelling reveals their location. I’ll never understand this fear. In person (mouseson?) mice look like something on a Hallmark card and are about the size of a quarter. Not exactly scary.

Sonny tells Carly about Anna’s plan.

Jordan tells Alexis if there’s any trouble, to let them know immediately. Paul says they’re parked a block away and Alexis says it’s a block too far. Julian arrives with a bouquet of roses that has American flags sticking out from everywhere. He says he wants to do right by her. I think it’s going to take more than flowers.

Jason tells Sam that Nicholas and Ava are coming back up. Sam asks what if Nicholas doesn’t cooperate? Jason says he actually feels sorry for Nicholas, who has everything and threw it all away.

Ava starts hollering about rats and Nicholas tells her it’s not a rat, it’s a field mouse, but Ava is still freaked.

Claudette tells Nathan he owes it to her to listen to what she has to say. She says she’s been out of work for a while and decided to expand her job search. She goes on about how Maxie is like the sister she never had. She says when Maxie mentioned her fiance and showed her Nathan’s picture, she was blown away. Nathan isn’t buying it and thinks she tracked Maxie down on purpose. He says she’s leaving, but Claudette says she doesn’t think so.

Nathan says it didn’t take long for her personality to change. Claudette says she’s not going to let him order her around. She says he was always able to support himself because he had a safety net, but she never had that. She trips down Memory Lane a little about their relationship. Nathan says she set him up and not for the first time. She says she has to admit he’s brave and dedicated, so maybe he could admit she’s moderately talented in graphic design. He says she’s excellent at it, and they talk about old times again.

Ava hears thunder. Nicholas says they can get pretty big storms there around this time of year. He adds that Ava doesn’t seem like the type who would get frightened easily, and suggests they go upstairs before the power goes out.

Carly says no matter what they think about Julian, he’s the father of Alexis’s children, and she doesn’t think Alexis will be able to pull it off. Sonny says he accidentally on purpose told Julian about the pregnancy, so he might be more pliable.

Alexis tells Julian she’s scared. He apologizes about the pregnancy test. Alexis says she understands trust has been broken on both sides. He says he wants to repair the damage in their relationship. Alexis says she’s tired and terrified of going to prison. She says with the baby coming, they have to try and salvage what they had. She tells Julian that she’s working on a new defense strategy with Diane.

Julian says he’s come up with something else. Alexis ask if he’s going to confess and he pulls out the dagger in a plastic bag. Seriously, where was he hiding that? In his pocket? Is that a dagger or are you happy to see me?

Ava asks if Nicholas grew up there and he says until he was sixteen. He says his uncle raised him until Helena staged a coup, but eventually the uncle got his power back. They toast to no more surprises. I think they have one…never mind, there they are.

Claudette tries to get Nathan to look at the fireworks. Nathan says he told Maxie the truth about her. He says Claudette doesn’t know the meaning of the word honesty and she asks if he and Maxie do. He says Claudette thrives on chaos and thinks the only reason she’s there is to cause trouble for him. Claudette says she’s not, but she could.

Carly and Sonny watch the fireworks with Avery. Sonny says he knows he gets caught up in business and other daily life things, but there are moments that are perfect like this one. Aww!

Jason asks how Nicholas wants to do this – cooperate or Jason can beat him, hogtie him and drag him out. Jason says he doesn’t know why Nicholas is throwing his life away, but he’s going to exonerate himself. Ava says he has no authority to take Nicholas anywhere. Sam suggests they call the embassy. Ava says the first person they’ll arrest is Jason.

Alexis asks how Julian got the murder weapon. Jordan calls the station. Julian says it’s the only piece of evidence they have, and now it’s out of police hands. He says by the time they find out, it will be destroyed. Alexis acts grateful. Julian asks if she really thought he’d let her go to prison. He says now that she’s pregnant, he’s even more determined to keep them together. She asks outright if he framed her for a murder he committed.

Ava says Jason is a fugitive and Sam is aiding and abetting. Sam asks how Ava got involved and she says it was a coincidence, which Sam doesn’t believe. Jason tells Nicholas to sit down and hold the daily newspaper up, so the headline and date can be seen. Nicholas balks and Sam says Jason has kicked his ass before and asks if he wants to go another round. Ava suggests he just do what they ask. Jason takes pictures and sends them to the PCPD.

Jordan says the evidence is gone and they could pick Julian up for evidence tampering. Alexis asks if Julian left just enough blood on the dagger to frame her. Julian says he’d never do that and he thought he’d wiped it all off. She mentions their altercation over the bloody shirt and he says she means everything to him. Alexis says it didn’t seem that way then and that she didn’t think he cared until she told him about the baby. He says he’d never intentionally set her up for a crime he committed. He says he killed Carrrlos because he didn’t want him talking and causing them to be separated.

Claudette brings up the shooting. Nathan asks what happened to her lover. She says they haven’t kept in touch, but she’s sure he’s fine. She says all three of them were wrong and made mistakes, and she’s sorry she hurt him. Nathan asks if she’s going to turn him in. Claudette is appalled at the idea and says people change. Nathan asks what she wants and Claudette says to make peace. She just wants to live her life and work with Maxie.

Nathan says it’s never going to happen. He says she cheated on him and broke his heart and she can’t take it back. Claudette says she gets that he hates her, but the job at Crimson was a perfect fit and she hoped they could make peace. She says she’ll leave in the morning, but he says she’s going tonight. She tells him she’ll go, but she really is sorry.

Apparently the cameraman is practicing a crane shot, as we see Carly and Sonny talking about Dante and Lulu’s house from above. Carly knows Sonny intervened. As the camera swoops down, he says he’s a concerned father, but she says he’s a raging control freak. He says she loves him anyway and she says she does and is grateful for him minimizing the violence. They kiss.

Ava mentions Alexis’s pregnancy, which Sam hadn’t known about. Sam says she has to get back to Port Charles. She asks Jason if he wants her to call Dante. Nicholas says once the storm sets in, they can forget about calling or texting anybody.

Jordan wants to get Alexis out of there, but Anna wants it to play out. Paul agrees with Anna. Alexis says she found it hard to accept that Julian killed Carrrlos to keep them together. Julian says if Carrrlos had told the cops he ordered the hit on Duke, he would have gone to prison. Jordan takes the recording and says she’ll be back with an arrest warrant. The least they could do at this point is drive a little closer. Alexis tells Julian she understands and it’s for better or for worse. Julian promises they’ll be all right and Alexis agrees. He moves to hug her and she steps back. She should just act sick and throw up on him. It probably wouldn’t be that hard.

Sam asks what the blip Nicholas was thinking. She wonders if the pain of his family meant less to him than money. Ava says now that they have the picture, Nicholas doesn’t have to go back. Nicholas says he can’t run anymore and he promises there will be no repercussions for Ava. The storm gets worse. Jason realizes the boat isn’t coming back tonight and Sam says it will be one helluva sleep-over.

Carly puts Avery to bed. She wants Sonny to call Anna. Sonny wants her to note that he hasn’t made one call all evening and she thanks him for not being married to his cell phone. I do too. I hate that. Carly says as soon as Julian goes to jail, they can concentrate on their family.

Julian is like what’s up? He says he thought Alexis understood him, but now she won’t let him touch her. Geez, she could make up a million pregnancy excuses for this

Nathan knocks on Claudette’s door, saying everything is ready. He opens it to find Maxie there with Claudette.

Tomorrow, Nathan asks Maxie what she’s doing there (seriously?), Kristina kisses Aaron, and Anna tells Paul they have to arrest Julian now.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Jules definitely has the best tagline – An Asian and a Jew walked into a bar, then they had me! – but I wonder if she’ll make it to another season since it’s her one claim to screen time.

Bethenny’s make-up dude had that fat freezing thing done and I cringe, having read articles about it and knowing how painful it is. Bethenny is launching some chocolates for her final bow at SkinnyGirl. Ramona comes by with flowers. She offers to read in the other room so that Bethenny has company. Very Ramonish.

It’s the pink wig appearance. I remember reading about this in the tabloids.

Sonja and Ramona take a dance lesson. They want to learn hip moves, but something that a more mature woman can pull off. I guess they mean not twerking, which I don’t think anybody should be doing. It looks like they’re having a good time. Ramona talks about the shift in position between Sonja and The Countess as far as the group goes. Sonja is concerned about how quickly things are moving with The Countess and Tom, but Ramona thinks The Countess is being too self-absorbed. Sonja says the dance moves are similar to the “Mashed Potato” and I think everything old is new again.

Carole comes to Bethenny’s product launch. Bethenny looks really cool in her scarlet wig with a fashion forward cut, and black and white colorblock dress. The product is being premiered in a candy store called Eye Candy that looks amazing, and there are a skabillion people in line outside. Bethenny says since she doesn’t have family, she wants Carole to be proud of her.

Having ESP, Carole tells Bethenny she’s proud of her. They discuss Bethenny’s upcoming surgery, which she’s very nervous about. Carole offers to come with her. I like Carole. She seems more like a normal person.

Jules visits her plastic surgeon. She’s concerned about the accident she had and wonders if her who-ha will ever return to normal. The doctor says it will take some time, but it’s a temporary condition. Her gynecologist told her the same thing, but she’s double-checking. The surgeon gives her an examination and says it looks a lot better and eventually all will be well. Jules’s other storyline.

Carole accompanies Bethenny to meet a doctor, and they talk in the limo. Someone has suggested that Bethenny get a second opinion, but Carole says if you doctor shop, you’ll always find someone who will tell you what you want to hear and no one wants surgery. Bethenny is conflicted as to which doctor to use and says she’s interviewed everyone in Manhattan.

Bethenny tells the new doctor about having her IUD removed, and it being a bloodbath afterward. She says out of the options she was given, she’d decided to get the fibroids removed, but after researching it, she wants to make sure it’s the right choice. Dr. Schwartz suggests taking progesterone and giving the body a chance to heal itself. In her interview, Bethenny is concerned that she’s just being told what she wants to hear. There’s no winning here.

Ramona, Carole and Dorinda come by Bethenny’s place. Bethenny is appreciative of their support during her health crisis. Dorinda tells her that she looks much better and Bethenny says she slept for the first time in a while after taking the progesterone. Bethenny has canceled the surgery and tells the ladies about Dr. Schwartz. They discuss birth control methods and surgeries.

Bethenny asks Carole if there’s any hope of reconciliation between her and The Countess. Carole says The Countess hasn’t reached out in a genuine way. In her interview, Dorinda is like, why are we talking about this again? Ramona tells them about her conversation with The Countess, and how she claimed she’d extended an olive branch to Carole and Carole should make the next move. Carole says The Countess confused the high road with her high horse. Bethenny talks about her lunch with The Countess and how she’d never seen anyone so self-absorbed.

Ramona says she’s like the old Countess when they’d first met her. Dorinda isn’t relating because she wasn’t on the scene back then. Bethenny gives Dorinda and Ramona bathing suits. Why? I’m not sure. Ramona calls her bra a “brassiere” and much fun is made of it.

Dorinda meets The Countess for breakfast. Dorinda asks The Countess if she’s coming to her dinner, but The Countess isn’t feeling well. Dorinda says if she wants to get back with the girls, she needs to get back with the girls. The Countess asks why she would want to and Dorinda says that’s a decision she needs to make. The Countess gets annoyed when Dorinda tells her what Ramona said, believing that Ramona is two-faced. She thinks the girls are just jealous.

Dorinda doesn’t want her not to be part of the group. She suggests The Countess show up for a short time. The Countess says she’s not avoiding the group, she’s just in love, but she’ll come if Dorinda will run interference.

Dorinda’s dinner time! It’s in one of those beautiful Manhattan restaurants with brick walls and tiny white lights. In her interview, The Countess says she’s disappointed in Ramona. She wants to confront her about talking behind her back. Carole says she’s going to keep it light and bright with The Countess.

Bethenny says she’s not feeling too great and The Countess has to add that she isn’t either. They talk about Tom moving in and The Countess says he’s been ring shopping. The Countess goes on about what a great match Tom is for her. Carole says they’re celebrating tonight, and The Countess is surprised that Carole is the only one who seems genuinely happy for her.

Sonja arrives, feeling trepidation at seeing Bethenny. We flash back to the Skinny/Tipsy Girl confrontation. Bethenny just wants to move on at this point. Hallelujah, Jules’s who-ha is just about normal. Ramona comes in, saying she found them by their voices. She expresses displeasure at how loudly they were discussing who-ha issues and Bethenny tells her to grow up. She says Ramona loves to make an entrance and get attention.

The Countess confronts Ramona about what she told Dorinda. She tells Ramona that she should just be happy for her. Ramona is miffed that Dorinda told The Countess about their conversation. The Countess says if she’s a friend, she’ll be happy for her and not talk smack behind her back. In her interview, The Countess says she’d thought they’d moved on from that kind of thing. Ramona says she only said something to Dorinda because Dorinda hasn’t known The Countess long. In Ramonaland, this makes it okay.

Bethenny says the three of them – Sonja, The Countess and Ramona – live in a small circle and seem to date the same guys. The infamous Harry is brought up and we see flashbacks. I’ve always wondered what it is Harry has that attracts the ladies. And they always stay friends with him. Bethenny says they all dated Tom too, and it’s pointed out that Sonja has been “friends” with him for ten years. Apparently, there’s some conflicting stories about the duration of their friendship, as Tom claims it was fleeting. Although I see no reason that Sonja would lie about that. The Countess says whatever happened before she and Tom got together doesn’t matter to her. She says all her friends are happy for her except them. She amends that to say Carole has been supportive. She gets up, saying she doesn’t feel well, and stomps off.

Next time, The Countess complains to Dorinda, Jules confronts Bethenny, and Ramona suggests a Mohegan Sun girls trip.

June 29, 2016 – GH & the NYC Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan nearly walks in on Maxie messing with her wedding dress. She screams at him to get out. She puts the dress away and asks why he’s there. He says he was able to take some time off and thought they could hang out together. She asks how much he saw of the dress and he says enough to know it’s gorgeous. He asks why she even had it there and she says she was making sure it was perfect, but now it’s cursed.

Griff is obviously distressed. Anna asks if he could use a friendly ear. She asks if they’re friends and he says she was cordial at the Nurses Ball, but he thought she was just faking it. She says it was one thing to find out he was a priest, but another to see him give last rites to the man who murdered his father. Anna says she realized she didn’t have to understand his reasons, just that he believes differently. She wants them to stay good friends, not just because of Duke, but because he’s been supportive of her in other ways. She asks how he became a priest and why he didn’t tell her. He asks how well she knows Nathan.

Morgan brings Carly flowers and she asks what he wants. Ha-ha! He says he’s just thanking her for being a good mom. He adds that he’s also in a good mood over Kiki. Carly says they must have had some chat last night. He says she must think he’s manic, but she says she knows the difference between that and a good mood. He says Kiki decided to give him another chance, after he’d stupidly broken up with her the last time she visited. Carly doesn’t want him pinning his recovery on another person. Morgan says he and Kiki have a bond like Carly and Sonny. Carly says they’re not exactly the best example, which is an understatement. Morgan says Kiki almost got interested in Dillon.

Dillon meets with Kiki. He tells her he doesn’t want to give her up without a fight. Dillon says he thought he was being the good guy by bowing out gracefully. He tells Kiki that there’s been so much drama in her and Morgan’s relationship, that it’s blurred reality. He says he cares about her and she deserves to be happy. She says Morgan needs her and what if Morgan is the person who makes her happy? Dillon says if that was the case, they wouldn’t be starting over for the millionth time.

Julian grabs Sonny’s arm and says he’s lying, and that Alexis can’t be pregnant because he doesn’t know how babies are made. Sonny tells Julian not to touch him. He tells Julian that after he framed Alexis for Carrrlos’s murder, she finally got a clue as to who he really is. He says he’s going to find a way to put Julian behind bars or in the ground.

Alexis looks over old photos of her daughters. She tells herself she can do this.

Morgan tells Carly about seeing Kiki kiss Dillon and that he showed up when Morgan was at Kiki’s place. He says Kiki told him that there was nothing going on with Dillon in comparison to what they have. He says Dillon isn’t keeping boundaries though, so he needs to talk to him. Carly tells him that she loves him and to be careful.

Kiki tells Dillon he’s a great guy. He says if it’s the start of a letting-him-down speech, stop now. She says he’s going to find someone wonderful. He thanks her for the compliments, but asks if there’s a small part of her that wants to pursue things with him. She says she can’t. He says, can’t or won’t?

Julian shows up at his home, asking Alexis if it’s true that she’s pregnant. She threatens to call the police, but tells him it’s true. Julian asks why she didn’t tell him and she says why bother? He asks how far along she is and she tells him to get out. He says they need to make plans. She says what kind of plans, pre-natal care while she’s incarcerated or him taking the baby while she’s in jail? She says he married her under false pretenses and she’s not thinking of getting rid of the baby; she’s thinking about how to keep it away from him. He says he’d never hurt her and she says that’s all he does. He tells her to calm down for the baby’s sake. She smacks him and tells him to never mention the baby again. She says he might not get punished and she might go to prison, but he’s never getting near her child.

Morgan goes to meet Kiki at the bar and sees Sonny. Morgan asks if Sonny can give him a job. Sonny says he’s opening a new coffeehouse and Morgan can work there. Morgan is excited about Kiki and Sonny tells him not to rely on one person to keep his bearings. Morgan says Kiki is the one who matters most.

Dillon says if Kiki is reconnecting with Morgan out of a sense of obligation, it’s a disservice to all three of them. He says obviously she’s drawn into the chaos that surrounds Morgan, but she should at least consider the alternative, being in a relationship that doesn’t include drama. They kiss and Carly sees them.

Maxie goes on about a one-of-a-kind dress from Lisbon turning into doom. She tells Nathan their luck has sucked and she wanted this one thing to be problem free. Nathan says he seems to be putting her through one thing after another. She says she’s no prize either. He says if she had her heart set on the dress, just wear it. She reconsiders how perfect it was and says she’s going to look for the real perfect dress.

Anna tells Griff that she’s worked closely with Nathan and he’s been kind to her. Griff says he got into a situation between Maxie and Nathan and isn’t sure he handled it properly. She asks if he’s interested in Maxie, but he says no way. Although he’s on leave, he’s still a priest. Anna asks why he left the priesthood. Let me add here that he never answered her first question about how he became a priest in the first place. He says he tried to provide support for a woman who said her husband was cold and cruel, and he allowed himself to be seduced. He says he chose to break his vows and it ended horribly. Anna asks if he was able to help her and Griff said she didn’t really need help, that she lied about her husband, and in the end, they all paid a terrible price.

Sonny says one of the problems with being bi-polar is that when you’re in a good mood, people worry. Morgan says he knows that he has a support system if things go bad, and Kiki isn’t his entire world, but she’s important. Sonny tells him to take his time. Morgan says he is.

Kiki and Dillon continue to kiss. Carly disappears. Kiki says she can’t right now and Dillon says he respects that. He says that he said what he came to say and has to get back to work. He doesn’t want to pressure her, but wants her to think about things.

Julian says he can’t believe the anger and hate coming out of what should be an amazing moment, because he’s delusional. He says all Alexis can talk about is keeping him from his child. Alexis says she’s going to prison because of him, but then again, he never takes responsibility for anything. He says he loves her and the love is even greater now. He says something has to change and they need to rethink how they’re going to proceed. Not exactly saying he’s going to take his own heat.

Maxie tells Nathan their relationship has been filled with complications and obstacles, and she just wanted something to go right, but in the end, it’s just the two of them that matter.

Anna asks if Griff is in trouble. He says he’s already said too much and the rest of it is between God and the people involved. He asks about Alexis getting arrested. Anna says she’s a good investigator and one way or another, Julian will pay for what he’s done. Griff says not to neglect her own needs and that he thinks Duke would want her to find someone. She says first she has to gather evidence.

Alexis asks what Julian means by rethinking things. She says they can’t change what happened, but Julian says maybe they can change some things. He says he didn’t realize the toll it would take on her going to trial. He asks her to allow him to show her how much he loves her. Alexis still isn’t getting her question answered and asks if he’s going to still make her stand trial for what he did.

Griff ponders things. He flashes back to a night of passion with Claudette, which isn’t exactly The Thornbirds.

Nathan and Maxie discuss wedding dates. She picks one and he asks if it’s not too soon. She says it’s not soon enough.

A woman we don’t see looks at Nathan and Maxie’s engagement announcement on her tablet.

Morgan approaches Dillon at the bar. He tells Dillon that he and Kiki are back together. He says don’t take it the wrong way, but he thinks it’s best that Dillon keep his distance from Kiki for now.

Carly asks Kiki what the hell she thinks she’s doing to her son.

Anna visits Sonny. He asks why she doesn’t seem to trust him after all they’ve been through. She says her trust is limited and conditional. Sonny says if what they’re doing doesn’t work out, he’ll find a way to get Julian. Anna says the last thing she wants to do is investigate Sonny for murder. He says it’s not necessary – Julian took his bait. Oh…

Alexis tells Julian to promise she won’t stand trial for Carrrlos’s murder because he’s going to confess. He says there’s one more thing. And gives her a pregnancy test. I call him several names out loud.

Tomorrw, Carly confonts Kiki, Finn is in jail, and Alexis tells Julian to confess first before she takes the test.

The Real Housewives of NYC

I’m glad the Wednesday shows got shuffled around so I can watch MasterChef and Wayward Pines. While a lot of critics were unhappy with the changes to Pines, I ‘m enjoying the move forward.

The girls are meeting for lunch or dinner or some meal. They trickle in. Jules is still hurting from her whoha accident. She shows a picture to Bethenny, who says she’s scarred for life now. Why do people have to memorialize everything on their phones? I hope she didn’t put that on her Facebook page.

Bethenny talks about her own whoha problems. She tears up, talking about how Dorinda went to the appointment with her. She doesn’t have any family and I can relate.

In this restaurant, you make your own pizza. My first on-the-books job was making pizzas. I didn’t eat them for years afterward. Carole talks to Jules about Jules’s eating disorder, and in her interview, Jules wishes they could get through one food activity without talking about it. The guy takes the pizzas to bake. Ramona, who got her pizza baked ahead of the others, is leaving early to meet a friend. She takes her pizza with her. On the restaurant’s plate.

Jules and Dorinda go out for a smoke and Carole and Bethenny discuss Jules. Carole says she claims to weigh 115, but Bethenny thinks Jules must be talking ounces. She thinks Jules is still in the middle of it and not dealing with it. The ladies regather, and their pizza creations come out. Jules has made something more like a calzone. Inside, there’s a fork, knife and measuring cup. Is Jules nuts? Dorinda thinks maybe her pain meds are getting to her.

Carole talks to Jules about her eating habits. Jules also takes Adderall, which concerns Carole as well. Jules, however, says she’s fine. Not once did I ever cook a fork in a pizza. Not even during the 70s.

Heather, who was on the previous two seasons, gets together with Carole and their men, to go skating. It’s the winter village at Bryant Park. The girls go for a drink, while Adam and Jon continue skating. Carole talks about the cookbook that she and Adam are creating and how they can’t get past the proposal. Heather suggests taking a break from it for a while. Carole tells Heather about the calzone. Carole thinks Jules is playing games with her food, which is something people who have eating disorders do.

Dorinda visits Jules. Jules tells her about Carole being annoying. She felt like Carole and Bethenny were picking on her and says that Bethenny makes jokes at other people’s expense. She says she’ll have her guard up with Bethenny now and Dorinda says she should talk to her. I dunno about that. In her interview, Dorinda says she feels responsible for Jules, since she brought her on board.

Jules says that when she had her accident, she couldn’t get ahold of her husband and her brother had to take her to the ER. Since they’ve filed for divorce since the show started airing, I look at everything suspiciously. He doesn’t seem to be much of a caretaker with the kids either. Dorinda says women are perceived as super human. Right on, sister. In her interview, Dorinda says she feels Jules’s unhappiness.

Bethenny is going for a pre-op check up. The doctor wants the bleeding, which has been excessive, to slow before she has surgery. Her driver, Kevin, thinks she just needs bed rest, since she’s moving 24/7. In her interview, Bethenny says she spends more time with Kevin than anyone else and there’s a lot of TMI. Apparently so.

Sonja says she’s a high class hoarder and I have to agree. The basement of her townhouse is chock full of everything you can imagine. Dorinda is coming over to help her purge. She’s pretty helpful, especially when Sonja wants to keep things like every baby toy her daughter ever had. Sonja talks about her ex-husband and says she’s over him, but not over the family situation. She doesn’t want to give up the sense of family attached to the objects.

They talk about the Tipsy Girl thing. Sonja says she texted Bethenny, saying that life is short and it sounds like they’re in a slightly better place. She doesn’t want it to be extra stress for Bethenny. Too bad she didn’t think of that in the first place.

While in the car, Bethenny talks to her assistant about a living will. The doctor has told her it’s going to be a major surgery and this is something she needs to have. She calls another friend, upset that she also has to sign something about her uterus being taken out in the event of her hemorrhaging. She’s feeling lonely, since she has no family to turn to. Kevin tells her it will be all right. This is actually sad.

The Countess creates a night out for everyone. Tom isn’t there, but she’s meeting him later. She says she thinks Tom is going to propose on Valentine’s Day. She talks about having a party in Palm Beach. In her interview, Sonja expresses surprise at The Countess and Tom being serious about one another. Ramona tells Dorinda that The Countess hasn’t reached out to Carole in a more meaningful way in regard to an apology.

Dorinda thinks The Countess and Tom are moving fast, but she’s happy for them. Ramona calls The Countess over to the side. She tells The Countess that she’s on the outs with Bethenny and Carole. The Countess asks if she looks like someone who gives a flying. She’s miffed that they didn’t even RSVP. Ramona says she fumbled the ball with Carole. She thinks The Countess should have followed up. Yeah, we saw how well that went with Bethenny. She says she apologized and invited Carole to the party and that should be enough.

The Countess says she doesn’t care any more, but Ramona keeps telling her to go for a cup of tea with Carole, because she’s oblivious to anything but the sound of her own voice. The Countess tells Ramona she loves her, but she’s done. Jules is talking to Dorinda about Carole picking on her eating habits. Ramona joins them. Ramona repeats the whole thing that just happened with The Countess, who then horns in on the conversation. At this point, The Countess thinks Carole should apologize to her. She says she’s not inviting Carole to her wedding and Bethenny is questionable.

Next time, Dorinda tells The Countess that she needs to be more involved with the show other women, Bethenny opens up to Carole about the surgery, and The Countess complains about the ladies not being happy for her.

June 22, 2016 – GH, NYC Wives & a Dog Wedding

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina has a vision of Franco as a Zorro type guy. He flings the furniture aside, approaching her and declaring his love. He grabs her and passionately kisses her.

Elizabeth is in the process of moving. She brings a bunch of boxes in and shows Jake the new toaster she got. Franco knocks at the door, bringing her a housewarming gift of a toaster.

Morgan tells Kiki he’s been released. He says he’s officially not a threat to himself or anyone else. Kiki coughs all over him. She tells him she’d thought they could still be friends. Morgan says he knows he pushed her away. He says he was a huge jerk to break up with her and he’s sorry he did it. She says it was a real surprise. He doesn’t want to go into it, but he says her mom convinced him she’d be better off without him.

Sam opens the hotel room door where Ava had been staying in London. She and Jason are looking for clues. Sam finds a card from the art dealer Ava was supposed to meet with. She calls, pretending to be Ava’s assistant, claiming to be looking for a lost umbrella.

Hux demands the real statue from Ava. Weeping Nyad? Nyack? What the blip is it? She says the only one she had was the one he just smashed. She says she had it authenticated. She tells him she’s not lying, but Nicholas – who is no help – says she is.

Maxie comes into Nina’s office, where Nina is still fantasizing. She tells Nina to snap out of it and says that the designer, Ma-Ha Chang, is giving her first choice of the new bridal line.

Franco says Jake called him and wanted him to come over, but he didn’t think Elizabeth would be cool with that, so he used a housewarming gift as an excuse.

Nicholas makes up some stuff about Ava, saying she was going to sell the fake statue until Hux waylayed her. Hux asks where his property is. She tells him it’s in her room at the hotel. But weren’t they leaving for the airport? This is making less sense as it goes along.

Maxie wants a dress that’s going to photograph well, since they’ll be looking at the wedding pictures for the rest of their lives. Nina asks her to stop talking and says she’s never going to be a bride or find love ever again. She says she should never have broken up with Franco.

Elizabeth makes toast with the new toaster. Jake says his dad isn’t answering his calls or texts, and Elizabeth reminds him that Jason had something he needed to do. Franco suggests drawing a special picture for him.

Sam finds out that Ava never made the meeting. Jason says Nicholas never made his flight either. Jason thinks they took off together, but Sam says her stuff is still here and wonders how they could have just disappeared.

Hux tells Ava that the statue better be there. He leaves and Nicholas asks what he’s going to find.

Morgan tells Kiki not to be mad at Ava, she was just trying to protect her daughter. He says she was right, but he’s stable now. He says his mind isn’t all over the place anymore and he thinks before he acts. He wants to try again with her. He says the thought of making her happy kept her going and she was the light at the end of his tunnel, and instead of telling her how he felt, he pushed her away. He says if it’s too late, he understands.

Maxie tells Nina she’s smart, beautiful and talented and she’ll find love again. She adds that Franco set the bar pretty low, but Nina says they were amazing together. She says she went to Franco for a booty call, but he wondered what that would do to their relationship. She says it was a mistake, because she really wants them to get back together. She wonders if they still have a chance.

Elizabeth says it was nice of Franco to promote Jason and he says he’s jealous of him. He says Jason loves Sam and he wishes he could be as clear in his relationship with Nina. He tells her about Nina wanting him back, but doesn’t know what he wants, even though he’s been thinking about her night and day.

Morgan tells Kiki about seeing her and Dillon kissing. She says she’s sorry, but he says she has nothing to be sorry about. Dillon comes in with her prescription, some candles and food.

Ava tells Nicholas he’s the one who said she had the real statue. He said he was just buying time and she says see where that got them – tied together back to back. He asks if she doesn’t have the orginal stashed away, but she says she thought the one she had was the real one.

Sam says maybe Nicholas and Ava took off for an overnight. Jason finds their boarding passes and Sam says maybe they’re having an affair. Hux is at the door. Good thing he’s talking to himself, giving them warning.

Kiki tells Dillon that Morgan was just released from the clinic. Morgan says sorry, and he’ll take off. Dillon says there’s enough food for all of them. Morgan says he forgot his prescription at the hospital and leaves. Dillon asks what he missed.

Nina asks Maxie if she thinks Franco will come back. Maxie says they broke up for important reasons, like the baby thing. Nina says she didn’t believe him when he said it would be fine with just them. Maxie asks if she’s changed her mind and Nina says seeing him with Jake at the Nurses Ball just confirmed that he should be a father. She says she’s accepted that she can’t have a baby and for whatever reasons Franco has, he doesn’t want to be a father. Maxie asks if Franco knows that and she says she wanted to tell him in person.

Nina decides to text Franco, but she hears something from inside one of the packages. Maxie says at least it’s not ticking and Nina asks if bombs still tick.

Franco talks to Elizabeth about how Nina blossomed into a confident woman before him and he blew her off. He realized later he made a mistake and now he doesn’t know what he wants and thinks he should give up on relationships completely. Elizabeth asks him where this is coming from.

Nicholas says if he dies, Spencer will think he was abandoned. He says they have to work together and find a way out. They manage to stand up.

Hux sneaks into Ava’s room. He starts going through the drawers, throwing things around. Where Sam and Jason went is a mystery, and why he doesn’t find them is a bigger mystery.

Nina asks if they should call the bomb squad. Maxie says no one is trying to blow them up, just blow their minds. It’s a sample from a sex toy place that’s been trying to get the magazine’s attention. Maxie looks it over, even though we don’t see it. She marvels at the accessories.

Franco says ever since Jason started remembering things, he’s been reminded of all the horrible things he’d ever done. He says he was pretending he wasn’t that guy anymore and was someone who could love and was capable of being loved. Elizabeth tells him to stop whining.

Kiki and Dillon sit down to eat. She apologizes to Dillon and he says she’s been nothing but clear with him. He thinks she should sort through her feelings now that Morgan is out, and to take as much time as she needs. He leaves.

Nicholas says they have to find something to cut the ropes. Ava finds a letter opener. She says it’s valuable and rare, and Nicholas adds that it’s also dull. She tries to cut the rope with it anyway.

Morgan picks up his pills from the desk at the hospital and runs into Kiki.

Hux calls home, saying he’s abandoning his search and to make sure his guests aren’t getting into trouble. When he leaves, Jason and Sam come out. Jason says they have no other leads, so they should go to Lynch Manor, where Hux lives.

Ava and Nicholas have freed themselves. He says since she was a criminal, she must know about picking locks. She says she was a mobster, not a cat burglar, but messes with the lock anyway.

Maxie explains sex toys to Nina, but she says nothing will ever replace Franco. She decides to text him.

Elizabeth tells Franco he’s being pathetic. She says he’s not all bad like he used to be and she knows he was trying hard. She says he only occasionally gives her the creeps now. He says it was never his intention to creep her out. She says he was her friend when no one else was. He says everyone should have a friend and asks if she believes he’s really changed. She says she does. He asks her to promise to think of him when she makes toast. He kisses her. What?

Tomorrow, Sam says this could cost Jason his freedom, Morgan and Kiki talk, and Hux catches Ava and Nicholas.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Puppies! Carole is at some kind of photo shoot for a dog wedding charity event. The bride belongs to The Fat Jew, who is a big animal advocate. Notable New York dog lovers were invited to be in the wedding party, and Carole’s dog, Baby, is taking part. I go out of my mind at the canine cuteness.

Dorinda is out shopping with Jules, who actually seems like a normal human. Of course, I look at all the scenes with Jules through an upcoming-divorce lens. Dorinda tells her about how great Sonja looks since she quit drinking.

Ramona visits Sonja. Sonja tells Ramona that she’s not drinking and she’s been working out. In her interview, Ramona says that Sonja is kind of a mean drunk. They hug it out and we see flashbacks of their friendship. They talk about the dog wedding and move on to Bethenny. Ramona says she was pretty adamant about not wanting Sonja or The Countess to come on the trip to Mexico. Ramona tells Sonja that she should apologize to Bethenny and if she starts screaming, just ignore it and keep saying sorry. Sonja says she has a tendency to ramble. Truth!

Dorinda wants Sonja and The Countess to come on the trip to Mexico. She thinks everyone should just grow up and deal. Dorinda says she talked to Tom’s ex-girlfriend who claimed that Ramona only dated him once and Ramona is exaggerating. Maybe through the pinot haze, it just seemed like seven dates.

Sonja and Ramona role play, with Ramona being Bethenny. She also corrects Sonja along the way. In her interview, Ramona says the odds are that Sonja won’t even remember her instructions, but she has hope.

Carole meets Bethenny at STK. Bethenny has a doctor’s appointment for the next day. It’s a gynecological issue and Bethenny thinks a previous IUD might have led to the problem. She tells Carole about her meeting with The Countess. She says she’s paying a lot of money for the trip and she only wants grown ups along. Subsequently, she got a text from The Countess, thanking her for the invitation to Mexico and saying she’ll be glad to come. Carole says Sonja keeps texting her and she knows Sonja is hoping for an invite. She says she likes Sonja when she’s not drinking and Bethenny calls The Countess an emotional vampire. I agree that she’s probably pretty taxing.

Jules and Michael are meeting with the CEO of Praeger’s Foods. Jules wants to start a business using a family recipe for a “clearing tonic,” whatever that is, that she wants to get out there. I’m assuming it’s similar to a cleansing product. CEO Larry is married to a friend of hers and helping her out. He’s brought samples for them to try out. Jules says doing a project like this helps in her recovery from her eating disorder. Michael compares her getting all of this together behind his back to cheating and I go, hmm… She makes a divorce joke and I hmm… again.

Bethenny and Dorinda meet at Home Goods. Bethenny says the store is like porn to her and I totally understand. Home Goods is one of my favorite places in the world. I even have fun watching them shop. They discuss The Countess, who Bethenny says is in her own world. She tells Dorinda about The Countess inviting herself to Mexico, and now she has to dis-invite her from a trip she didn’t invite her on. Bethenny tells Dorinda about her medical problem and says she’s going to the doctor directly after this. She’s worried that it will interfere with the Mexico trip. Dorinda asks to come along to the doctor. They leave the store in a sudden rush.

It’s time for the dog wedding! Jules finally found a new nanny. She doesn’t speak English, but they’re working through it. Sonja comes over with her dog. Jules is having her make-up done and offers Sonja a piece of the action. Jules tells her about a freak accident she recently had and shows pictures from her phone. Lots of TMI.

Carole goes to Bethenny’s place. Bethenny’s assistant shows her the bridesmaids dress. It probably cost thousands.

Jules’s hair and make-up people arrive and tend to her and Sonja. Sonja tells Jules about her rehearsed apology to Bethenny. Earlier Sonja said something about her people not being able to change the name Tipsy Girl, and I wonder if she signed something already. Of course she could impress upon them that Bethenny can sue her. Not that I think she’d bother, since we will never see a real product from Sonja anyway.

Commercial break. I’m dying to see The Secret Life of Pets, but I’ve swore off anything PG-13 or under. The last time I saw a PG-13 movie, I felt like I was in the middle of a field trip bus.

Bethenny is going to need surgery. She lost a lot of blood and has huge fibroids that need to be removed. She’ll have to be in the hospital for three days. One of the options is a hysterectomy which freaks Bethenny out. She’s upset about having to cancel the trip, but Dorinda wisely says that it’s good she went to the doctor now, and didn’t end up in a Mexican hospital. She offers to tell everyone for Bethenny, who doesn’t want to deal with it.

Carole says the dog wedding is the wedding of the year. It is quite amazing. And more cuteness! Dorinda says it’s nicer than her wedding. She adds that her dog doesn’t fit in, being a country bumpkin. Columnist Cindy Adams officiates. She must be 110. This is horrible, but I’d actually thought she was dead.

The bridal party walks up the aisle. The bride is a gorgeous a cocker spaniel and the groom is an adorable Chihuahua in a top hat. Ten grand is raised for puppy mill rescues. Afterwards, drinks are served and Dorinda lets everyone know that the trip is off. She says Bethenny is going to be out of commission for medical reasons, but Bethenny can fill in the details. Ramona is disappointed that she can’t wear her new bathing suit, and shows her Instagram pic. Sonja is disappointed because now the apology is postponed. Ramona cuts the cake herself. Is she supposed to be doing that?

Next time, Sonja declutters, Ramona and The Countess argue, and Bethenny freaks out.

June 15, 2016 – GH & Twice the NYC

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante tells Jordan she needs some balance in her life and to get over to the bar. Dante makes nice with Curtis, and thanks him for including them in whatever this is. Oh, okay, it’s a surprise for Valerie. A congrats party for the PCPD graduates that Curtis has set up.

Andre wants Anna to know where he stands with her personally. Anna says the man who’s responsible for killing Duke is wandering around free and she’s been cut out of the loop. She says she put her neck on the line for Jordan way back when, but she’s not returning the favor. Andre says Jordan cares about her, but thinks she has a blind spot when it comes to Julian. Anna says she’s given Jordan a chance to redeem herself, but she’s not returning the favor. She thanks Andre for what he said on in court, but tells him if he doesn’t leave now, she’s going to unload on him. He tells her about the argument he had with Jordan and says it’s true, he has feelings for her. Oh no, not this “feelings for” business again.

Carly gives Sonny the skinny on what happened at the wedding. Sonny is glad things are catching up with Julian. Carly left before the good part though.

The hospital is drug testing and interviewing everyone with access to the drug dispensary. When Franco is done with the interview, he says if he was going to murder Lucas, it would be more original. Obrecht drags him off by the ear. Obrecht tells Franco that he’s always the first suspect for everything because of his criminal history and she’s the only one who has his back.

Monica asks Finn to do the drug test, but he says it’s not going to happen. Monica says she expects full cooperation from everyone. Finn says he’s a private citizen nd he’s not peeing in a cup to prove he’s not a drug addict.

Sonny has found information about an employee who moved out of town after Jocelyn’s kidney transplant, and asks Carly if she wants him to find her. Carly says it might open up a real can of worms, and he says it’s up to her. He says she might not like the answers she finds though.

Curtis says it’s high time Valerie, Dante and Lulu put the past behind them. Valerie says it’s past time.

Carly says if they find the kidney donor, they’ll be able to get a health background and know possible side effects; on the other hand, they could find out something ugly. Sonny says if he was in Carly’s position, he’d want to find out, but if it’s something bad, he’d keep it to himself. He says whatever she wants to do, he’s 100% behind her, and that it’s not like she went to the black market for a donor, so she shouldn’t take on guilt she doesn’t deserve.

An intern tells Elizabeth and Felix that Finn is all they’re interested in talking about. Elizabeth is next. Felix tells Finn that if they ask, he’ll have to tell them the truth.

Franco thanks Obrecht for her faith in him. She says she’d love to see his latest works. He says no one seems to like them, but she says she has a deep appreciation for genius. He says if she likes something, it’s hers. Monica comes by and Obrecht says Finn hasn’t checked in for his test. Monica says she’s on it. Obrecht tells Franco she has a special duty to attend to.

Andre says he’s attracted to Anna and they have a connection he’s tried to avoid. He says the more time he spends with her, the more time he wants to spend with her. He says it was completely unexpected and it won’t do either of them any good. He says going forward, he doesn’t want anything from her ever again. I have no clue what he’s babbling about.

Lulu congratulates Valerie and says it’s time the Spencers started being a family again. Dante’s phone rings. It’s the realtor. Curtis tells Valerie that she handled things nicely.

Sonny approaches Jordan at the bar. He wonders how long before Julian is charged, but she says she can’t talk to him about pending cases. Dante tells Sonny they lost their bid on the house they wanted. Curtis tells Jordan he’s glad she made it. She thanks him for throwing the party together. He says he’s made mistakes, but he’s not all bad.

Felix says Finn asked him for a muscle relaxant and he’ll have to tell them. Finn says to just tell the truth.

Carly enters and tells Elizabeth she has to talk to her about Jake.

Andre goes through the history of his and Anna’s relationship. He says he never intended to say anything about his romantic feelings for her, but they’re not going away. He says he can see a future with Jordan if he doesn’t blow it. He says feelings can’t be controlled, but actions can. Anna asks if their friendship is over and he says it has to be.

Jordan makes a toast, welcoming the new cadets. She says since they’re the first ones graduating under her watch, they hold a special place in her heart, and welcomes them to the fight for justice. She gives a special shout out to Valerie for getting past her roadblocks and being in the top 10% of her class.

Franco says he works with Jake, but Carly says Jason doesn’t want him in Jake’s life. Franco steps away and Carly talks to Elizabeth about wanting to know who the donor kidney belonged to. She asks if Elizabeth wants to know what she finds.

Monica tells Finn if he doesn’t submit to the drug test, she can’t protect him. He says there’s no way he’s taking it.

Obrecht sees there’s no one in the locker room and acts all sneaky around one of the lockers.

Lulu and Dante talk to Sonny about the disappointment of losing the house. He says they’ll get a house soon and I’m wondering if he bought the house for them. Sonny goes outside and calls someone. He says there’s something he needs done.

Curtis has a surprise for Valerie. He takes her aside.

Anna says she’s been dumped before, but this is a fresh take. Ha-ha! He says he just wanted to do the right thing. She says it doesn’t feel right and asks why they can’t be friends with boundaries. He says she’s strong enough for that, but he isn’t. She says she valued their friendship a lot. He says he did too, and leaves. Wow. What a noble dude. My hat’s off to him.

Monica asks why Finn refuses to clear his name. He says he’s not obligated to prove his innocence in this country. Obrecht enters and asks to talk to Monica. She tells Finn to stay where he is.

Elizabeth says she’d like to know what Carly finds out and maybe it will shed light on what happened to Jake. Carly tells her to be careful of Franco. She leaves and Elizabeth asks Franco if he was eavesdropping and he says yes. He says Carly wants them both to be miserable and maybe he deserves it, but she doesn’t. In regard to the kidney transplant, he says sometimes it’s better to be left in the dark.

Carly tells Finn she’s gotten some information about the kidney donor. As she gets in the elevator, she asks if he’s going down and he says yes, if Obrecht gets her way, leaving Carly puzzled. Monica tells Finn she’s got some disturbing news.

Carly calls Jax and leaves a message. Sonny says it sounds like she made a decision. She says she did and also talked to Elizabeth. Sonny says he’ll get his people on finding the employee, but it might take some time. Carly goes upstairs.

Curtis gives Valerie a good luck fifty cent piece with a dent in it. He says it saved his life once and he wants her to have it. He tells her about how he took a bullet and the coin in his pocket stopped it. She says if the story’s true, it’s amazing, but if it’s not, it’s a good one. He asks if she has plans for tonight. She says yes, and kisses him.

Dante gets a call. It’s the realtor. The other buyer pulled out of the deal. What did Sonny do?

Sonny tells Diane nice work. It sounds like he paid off the other buyer.

Anna gets a message on the dating site. Stan wants to buy her dinner. She thinks maybe she should ask Griff for an introduction to a convent.

Andre goes to Jordan’s office, where she lives now. He tells her he loves her.

Monica unwraps Finn’s syringe and says it was found in his locker

Tomorrow, Hayden asks Curtis for help, Finn says he nothing wrong, and Ava asks Nicholas why he wants to play dead.

Little Women NY

Katie is getting ready to have her baby. She wasn’t supposed to deliver for another week, but got stressed out from Lila and Dawn’s badgering. Lila feels badly about it, but claims they were just concerned and somehow shifts the blame to Katie’s mother, Kathie, telling them too much.

Lila tells Jason about what happened with their “concern.” Dawn brings up that PJ is living off of Katie’s mother. In her interview, Jazmin says she gets where they’re coming from, but it’s really none of their business (thank you).

Jazmin calls Jess who fills her in from the hospital. We see baby Kinzley, who is very cute with her little girly hat and was 6 pounds plus. So much for low birth weight concern. Jess tells them she went into labor after the argument at the laundromat, but Dawn insists the argument had nothing to do with it. Kinzley also has extra fingers, which Jazmin hopes isn’t attributed to Katie’s smoking. Please, please, just stop now.

Jess asks if Katie and PJ have decided what they’re doing with their living situation. In her interview, Jess says she’ll always be there for them, but they can’t all stay in the same apartment forever. Since there’s no answer to the question, she says she’ll have to come back to it later.

Kathie wants to make plans for everyone to see the baby. Katie says Jazmin and Jason are cool, but nixes Dawn and Lila. She says they’re the last people she wants to see and she doesn’t want them near Kinzley. Kathie suggests she be the bigger person, no pun intended. In her interview, Katie says her mother is delusional, but she’ll do it for Kinzley’s sake. I’m annoyed that she’s backing down on this. You can’t be friends with everybody and if someone is causing you stress, no reason to be around them.

Jazmin video chats with husband David. She feels defeated since she isn’t getting any gigs from her auditions. She misses David and wishes she could share her days with him.

Lila and Jazmin sit in the park. Dawn is joining them for lunch. She’s met a new guy who’s also a little person. She’s been texting David, but they haven’t discussed the humongous fight they had. Dawn asks Jazmin if she’s told David that Lila is bringing random men home and it’s bothering her. Jazmin tells Dawn that she doesn’t live with them, it’s between her and Lila, and she should mind her own business. Lila tells her she’s slut-shaming and Dawn says Lila did it to herself by telling them about her fun night. In her interview, Lila says she’s a single woman in NYC, availing herself of its resources, and maybe Dawn should give it a try. Seriously, it’s kind of sad that Lila can’t gossip about her date with her girlfriends without being judged. No sex in the little city here. When Dawn won’t let up, Lila says she’s had enough, and she and Jazmin leave Dawn sitting by herself.

Katie loves being a new mom, but could use some rest. The second Jess comes in, she gets handed the baby. One of the spare fingers falls off (this is normal) when Jess is changing her and Jess nearly freaks out. Kathie wants to keep it, like a first baby tooth or lock of hair, and Jess says she’s like Hannibal Lecter or something. As soon as Katie is up, Jess gives her the baby back and suggests she get the one who got her pregnant to help.

Lila and Jazmin go to Times Square. Jazmin tells her that she’s missing David and wants to give up on the acting thing. Lila says it’s hard to relate because she’s single and still in selfish mode, but she understands how difficult it is for a little person to follow their dreams.

Jess tells Katie that when she first came, she didn’t want Katie to be alone, but now Katie’s mother, PJ and the baby have joined them, and she feels like she’s not living her own life. She can’t even bring a date home. She suggests that PJ help to look for a new place. She says she’s not telling her to pack up this second, but she doesn’t want them lollygagging for too long. Katie says she wants to get the mom thing down before moving, but she’ll talk to PJ.

Katie and PJ have been discussing whether to stay in NYC or go back to Seattle. Kathie says if they go back to living with her, PJ is going to have to find a job. In her interview, Jess says PJ needs to man up and take care of his family. Katie says she appreciates everything her mom has done, but her judgments are the price she has to pay. Jess is staying out of it because Katie has enough to deal with. Kathie and PJ argue and the baby starts crying. It’s also the day of the sip and see, and Jess says she’ll be seriously pissed if people can’t behave themselves around a newborn.

Jess says inviting Dawn and Lila is asking for trouble and I agree. There is seriously something wrong with those girls. Dawn tells Jess, Kathie and Katie about what happened at the park. In her interview, Dawn says she can’t believe Jazmin stuck up for Lila and she was just being honest as a friend. Another one who uses the honest card to get away with being nasty.

Lila comes in and says she could hear Dawn talking about her from the elevator. She says how dare Dawn broadcast her confidential info? Dawn says she was concerned  (another euphemism in this group) and Lila says she’s a gossipy little yenta. Jess tells them that Kinzley is ready to come out, so take their argument into the bedroom.

Lila asks Dawn how dare she talk about Lila’s business? She came to see the baby and the first thing she hears is Dawn bashing her. Once again, Dawn says she’s just a concerned friend. Dawn claims they have a real friendship and she cares. Lila tells her to get the blip away from her.

She calls Dawn a sick bitch and walks out. Dawn follows with that creepy smile on her face. Lila tells Jason to keep Dawn away. Dawn keeps smiling and acts like nothing happened. Katie says she should have known better than to let them come over and the baby is upset now.

Jason and Jazmin go to Lila, who feels terrible about taking the attention from Kinzley. She decides to put on her big girl panties and go back in. In her interview, she says holding Kinzley puts everything in perspective. She tells the baby she’s her slutty Auntie Lila.

It’s the finale and Lila is proud that she got through so much without drinking. Dawn says she’s not going to stop telling the truth just because people don’t want to hear it. Although I imagine at some point there will be no one left to listen. Lila is no longer speaking to Dawn.

Jazmin got a one-way ticket to Florida to see David and Katie and PJ went back to Seattle. There was no mention of him getting a job though. Jasan continues to stay living in NYC and having a long distance relationship with DJ. Jess has embraced motherhood – with her dog ChiChi.

I assume there will be a fiery reunion.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Sonja takes a break from whatever work she does to have girl time with The Countess. The Countess wonders what the name of Sonja’s assistant is, when she’s only worked for Sonja for two years. The Countess thinks Sonja should apologize to Bethenny, but Sonja says she’s not a competing brand and Bethenny is just taking it personally. Well, yeah. Most of us would. Sonja moves on to Dorinda excluding her because Bethenny was at her party. Sonja has also decided she’s not drinking any more. At least in front of this group.

The Countess tells Sonja she’s found her soul mate (bleh) and she’s moving out. She starts talking about getting married and Sonja asks how long she’s been dating Tom. The Countess says a whole six weeks. She tries to cover for herself in her interview, by saying soul mate Tom had a one-night stand with Sonja. Sonja asks if she’s sure about this and in her interview says she’s been “doing” Tom forever. TMI all around.

Bethenny has everyone meet at a restaurant, minus The Countess and Sonja. Jules’s father has been sick and her husband is having a hard time dealing with the kids on his own. Bethenny wants to have a girls’ trip to Mexico to do a tequila tasting. Dorinda asks if The Countess is coming. Bethenny says it’s up to them. Ramona says she’s fun on a girls’ trip, but Carole says she’s not going if The Countess is. Bethenny says if Carole doesn’t go, she doesn’t want to do it. Bethenny is also concerned about Sonja, especially the way she drinks. The vote is no.

Carole visits Bethenny. Over the holidays, they went to the Bahamas together with their men and they talk about the trip. Carole talks about her relationships and how she never gets too serious. She had an epiphany after fostering a kitten and nearly having a nervous breakdown when she had to give the kitten up. In her interview, she talks about the people in her life who she’s lost. She realizes that she’s set up her life to be temporary. She wonders if it’s because of her husband’s death or if, because he had cancer when they got married, she’s always been like this. Interesting. Bethenny says Carole can’t get out of a relationship and she can’t get in.

Dorinda and Sonja go for a manicure. Dorinda asks about Ramona and Sonja says she’s been hot and cold. Dorinda thinks Ramona has taken sides, but not Sonja’s side. Dorinda tells her about the trip to Mexico and says she doesn’t think Sonja and The Countess are invited. Wow. She’s really the bearer of glad tidings today. I hope she’s footing the bill for the manicure.

Sonja says things are going well for both her and The Countess and they should be celebrating all together. She tells Dorinda that she’s quit drinking and Dorinda is happy about that, since she believes Sonja has been self-medicating. Dorinda says that Sonja needs to drop the Tipsy Girl thing or it might cost her friendships. Sonja balks at that, but Dorinda says she’s coming from a good place and still thinks she made the right decision about the Berkshires.

Carole brings a large, heavy terrarium to Adam’s place because it didn’t look good in hers. He’s making a chocolate cake. She wants to read the book proposal to him while he’s baking. In her interview, she says it’s still not perfect working together, but they’ve found a rhythm, and that her culinary skills have gone backward since dating Adam because there’s no reason to cook any more. Adam breaks out his guitar and they discuss the book while he jams.

Ramona wants to give The Countess a hair makeover. She’s partnered with some people who have done her hair in the past. The Countess seems to think everything is okay between her and Bethenny. And Carole. She is truly delusional. In her interview, Ramona says she’s not about to make The Countess any wiser. The Countess talks about a psychic who told her she was going to meet a guy within two weeks, she met Tom, and now he wants to marry her.

Even Ramona is startled at the amount of time The Countess has known Tom. She tells The Countess that Tom calls his ex every day to tell her he loves her and gave her a gold bracelet for Christmas. The Countess is like, thanks for raining on my parade, and Ramona’s daughter agrees. The Countess doesn’t believe it. Ramona says she’s happy for her and The Countess is appeased, although Ramona adds time will tell.

John and Dorinda meet Jules and Michael for dinner. Michael makes a hot nanny joke and Jules isn’t pleased. She’s not too happy about Michael making them late either. Dorinda says it’s never 50/50 in a relationship. Jules talks about finding a nanny and Michael suggests her mother, which is brilliant since her father is in the hospital. Jules has alopecia from stress.

Michael is always on the phone and this is also annoying Jules. The couples toast to the new year. Dorinda says there’s a lot of pressure on men to be productive in New York. Dorinda starts to get sloshed and give forth marital advice.

Bethenny and The Countess meet for drinks. Bethenny is having some health issues. The Countess barely acknowledges that and tells her all about the soul mate and getting married. In her interview, Bethenny says The Countess studied pre-wed in college. Ha-ha! The Countess tells Bethenny what Ramona said about Tom, and wonders why Ramona would even say anything. She says some people are friends with their exes. Bethenny thinks that Ramona is just concerned. The Countess moves on to Tom having dated Sonja and claims it was only once or twice because Tom told her so.

Bethenny isn’t feeling well and says she’s got to go. The Countess asks if she’s invited to Mexica. In her interview, Bethenny says she had every intention of inviting her, but changed her mind throughout the course of the conversation. She tells The Countess she doesn’t want to discuss it right now and The Countess suggests another glass of wine.

Bethenny asks The Countess if she’s taken crystal meth tonight. <snort!> She tells The Countess that she didn’t invite her on the trip partly because of the what’s gone on between them, although they’re past that, but Carole isn’t happy about sharing a trip with her. The Countess says she thought they were cool. Bethenny says The Countess talks a lot, but doesn’t listen. The Countess says she comes from a big family and that’s why she’s like that. Bethenny starts to say something and The Countess interrupts by saying she’d love to come and jumps up. She leaves, and leaves Bethenny with the bill. Is this a reality star thing? Another one who wants to go to a party to which they’re deliberately not invited.

Next time, Bethenny tells Carole what happened with The Countess, Dorinda says there might be a change in plans, and Ramona role plays with The Countess.

Note: Jules just filed for divorce from Michael, shocking everybody. Apparently, she caught her husband cheating. Sigh. This definitely colored the episode for me and had me reading more (whether valid or not) into certain things.