Tag Archives: Tyler Perry

May 10, 2016 — GH, Below the Grecian Deck & Lots of Wrong Loving

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Hope you get a chance to check out The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Secrets Revealed. The Secrets episode used to be subtitled Lost Footage, but I’m glad they changed it. It was just a bit of an insult to our intelligence (even though we are watching Real Housewives). I mean, really, did anyone think they just suddenly found this stuff? Sometimes, the scenes in Secrets Revealed are better than what we’ve seen throughout the season, and certainly more pleasant, and this one was a really fun show.

General Hospital

Alexis ponders a sleeping Julian. She goes downstairs and calls a guy named Oscar. She wants a post-mortem on Hale. She wants to know if it’s confirmed that it was an accidental overdose. Sam pops out of the dark in the living room.

Sonny makes a nice dinner for Carly. She wonders when he had the time and he says he sometimes cooks something up in the restaurant kitchen to relieve stress. Who knew? Carly tells him to let the legal system to take care of Carrrlos and he says it hasn’t done too well so far.

Paul tells Jordan if they don’t come up with some physical evidence to support the case, Carrrlos is going to walk.

Griff sees Anna’s gun box. She says she didn’t get a chance to put it away after securing her firearm when she got back. Griff gets nervous around guns and Anna asks if it’s because of Duke. He says partly, but one was also used against him.

Lulu and Maxie discuss wedding dresses. Maxie wants to go look at wedding dresses in NYC and take a side trip to Claudette’s address. She says once she knows why everything is such a secret, she can live happily ever after with Nathan.

Jason tells Dante he’s going to get him out of there. How? In the blown up van or the motorcycle?

Jordan asks Paul if it isn’t his job to compensate the lack of evidence by making a good argument. He thinks back to when he left the pen and paperclip for Carrrlos.

Carrrlos hides in the woods. Nathan calls for an ambulance and back up.

Carly brings up Sabrrrina’s statement, but Sonny says it can be thrown out of court since she’s not present and there’s no physical evidence. He says Alexis will do anything to protect Julian. Carly says that’s only because she can’t have Sonny, the mobster she really wanted and had to settle.

Alexis asks why Sam is sitting there in the dark and if she and Danny are okay. Sam says Danny is at the Quartermaines’ and she came to check on Alexis. Alexis says Anna was unhinged and practically twisted arms to put her in lock-up. She tells Sam that Anna was relentless in bringing up the past. Sam asks why Alexis would order an autopsy in the middle of the night and Alexis says she’s just being thorough. Sam tells her she wants her to stop with the defense of Carrrlos.

Nathan asks what the ETA is, since there are three injured people. Jason tends to Dante who asks what happened and where Nathan and Carrrlos are. I guess he doesn’t care about the poor nameless dead driver. Oddly enough, the only one who was apparently wearing a seat belt.

Anna asks if Griff was shot and he says yes. She asks if it was a robbery. He says he wasn’t a victim and the truth is, he asked for it because he was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. He says he was committing an act that had no justification, but he’s asked forgiveness for it. Okay, he has me intrigued. The phone rings. It’s Jordan and Anna has to go to the station. Griff also has to go to the ER and Anna asks if they can continue later.

Alexis asks for some consideration and Sam thinks she’s being coerced in some way. Sam says not to lecture her about how Carrrlos deserves a defense; it’s Julian’s mess to clean up, not hers. She says Julian ordered Carrrlos to kill Duke and he hasn’t changed or redeemed what he’s done in the past. She reminds Alexis there’s a reason for no statute of limitations on murder. Alexis says Jason is no better, but Sam say she’s not going to get sidetracked by listing how they’re different. Sam asks if she wanted the autopsy report because she wants to know if Julian killed Hale. Julian appears and says Sam should ask him that.

Lulu tells Maxie that bringing up the past doesn’t change it or make it better. Maxie says she doesn’t doubt Nathan loves her, but she doesn’t want Claudette being the unseen third person in their marriage. Lulu says she’s made peace with the Valerie and Dante thing and Maxie should just let it go.

Jason tells Dante what happened. He says the driver didn’t make it, but didn’t see anyone else except Dante. Dante asks how he got out from under the van and Jason says that’s a long story. A long story with a bunch of people who weren’t really there.

Anna blows into the station, yelling at Jordan about Carrrlos escaping. Jordan says she didn’t even have to tell Anna and Anna calms down. Jordan gives her the preliminary details. She says Carrrlos fled on foot with Nathan pursuing. Paul joins them and says it might be a random accident. Anna asks if he orchestrated it.

Julian says he refuses to let Sam accuse Alexis of anything and she tells him to butt out. The phone rings and Alexis finds out about Carrrlos’s escape from a transfer she wasn’t advised about. She has to leave but tells Sam and Julian to mind their manners with each other. Julian says he supposes Sam thinks he had something to do with Carrrlos’s escape.

Carly says Alexis wanted to reform Sonny into a house husband. He says he only cooks on special occasions. She says Alexis couldn’t move on and turned it into a moral crusade until she finally got a mobster of her own. Sonny says he agrees, but he’s more worried about her getting Carrrlos off. Carly says what if that happens? Sonny says she sounds like Jason asking a question he doesn’t want the answer to. Sonny says Jason is conflicted and thinks Sonny wants him to do his dirty work. Carly says they have to give him time to trust his instincts and let his memory bring him back.

Max calls. Sonny asks if he’s sure and who’s involved.

Lulu gets a call from the station about Dante and has to go to the ER. She asks Maxie to call Olivia to look after Rocco and explains about Dante.

Jason tells Dante about how he moved the van and how it blew up afterward. Dante says Jason saved his life. Well, yeah.

Sam says she doesn’t know if Julian had anything to do with Hale’s death, but she doesn’t like what it’s doing to Alexis. Julian says as soon as Carrrlos gets off, everything will be over. Sam is like, I see you don’t care much about the witness dying. She says she was supportive until the wedding turned into a hostage situation and she realized Julian hadn’t changed. She says Alexis seems less like an attorney than a desperate woman trying to hang on to the man she loves and she blames him for that.

Paul says how could he have caused an accident from the station?

Maxie and Lulu run into the hospital and Griff brings him up to speed. Maxie says Nathan isn’t answering her texts and is worried that he was in the accident too.

The paramedics arrive. Dante asks if Nathan is okay. One of the EMTs says Nathan could have a possible skull fracture and Nathan passes out.

Carrrlos somehow finds himself back at the docks like a homing pigeon.

Sonny and Carly get to the hospital. Lulu tells them what happened. Carly says the only thing they know is that there was an explosion. Dante is brought in. He tells Griff he’s fine, even though he has a knife sticking out of him and probably squashed legs. He tells them how Jason got him out from under the van. Nathan is brought in next. Griff says he’ll do everything in his power to save him; he owes him that much. More intrigue.

There’s a knock at Julian’s door. It’s Jason looking for Sam. She asks if he’s okay and he says better than he’s been in a long time.

Alexis asks Paul where Anna is. He says she slipped out and that can only mean she’s going after Carrrlos on her own.

Like the buzzards returning to Hinckley, Anna goes to the docks. She finds Carrrlos hiding. He says they meet again in the same place. He says she shot him four times and he’s not wearing a vest this time. He says she has a second chance because he’s not going back to prison. He tells her to pull the trigger and make it count. Nooo! Not my Carrrlos!

Anna tells him he deserves it, but there’s enough evidence to get a guilty verdict. She says a cop died tonight because of him. He says the accident wasn’t part of his plan; he was just trying to save his own life. She says that’s all that matters to him. He says she’s just like him and asks if she would be chasing him that hard if it hadn’t been Duke. Uh-oh, it doesn’t look like he’s going to make it. Oh wait, he was just fooling and gets the best of Anna. The gun goes into the water and they fight. Nice. She kicks his ass, but he ends up the victor. Anna is down for the count.

Paul tells Alexis he’s been watching her calculate what works out best for Julian and she tells him to go to hell.

Carrrlos takes Anna into a freeezer of some kind and leaves her there. What the blip do they do on the docks? Why is there a humongous freezer there?

Dante tells everyone what he remembers. Sonny says he should have killed Carrrlos when he had the chance. Dante apologizes for the screw up even though it’s not his fault. Jordan comes running in and says Nathan just went into surgery. Sonny says if she wants to find Carrrlos to check with Julian.

Jason wants to talk to Sam, who says she and Julian will talk later

Carrrlos calls Julian and says he needs Julian’s help – now

Sam tells Jason he should go to the hospital. He says he’s not hurt, but he remembers. He remembers everything, and I can’t believe I start to tear up. They kiss

Tomorrow, Anna is found, Carrrlos is surrounded, and Kiki says Franco is losing his mind.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

When we last left, Hannah was running around like a nut trying to find a way for the primary’s husband, boyfriend or whatever he is, to watch the Steelers game, lest the crew be penalized. Whiny Bob complains that he’s never missed a game and he was too stupid to plan the vacay around this one. I added that last part because I hate him with a passion.

Captain Mark messes with the cable on the yacht. The guys are all helping and they finally get an internet connection.

Ben is cooking scorpion fish and prays the guests like it, since Bob was a d-bag about the moussaka. He says it’s the filet mignon of fish. Hannah comes back and says there’s not one bar she can find that has anything but a local channel. Fear not though, the captain has come to the rescue. Tiffany is also a big Steelers fan and is jazzed.

Aw, Bob is all happy now like I give a flying. Ben is concerned that the kitchen is going to turn into a social hub. Hannah serves dinner and King Bob is pleased. Let’s all bow down, shall we? Do these people realize they’re on camera or do they just not care? After I saw a re-run of a Below Deck episode where there was an even more insufferable primary, he got on Twitter and claimed it wasn’t like that. He’d made a display of withholding part of the tip for a reason so petty, I’ve forgotten what it was. I didn’t fault him for tipping less, but it was appalling that he made a show of it, presenting the wad of cash to Captain Lee, and then removing some of it. I rarely tweet, but I told him that it was like that and maybe he should buy himself a personality with all his money. I just couldn’t help it.

Julia and Bobby seem to be getting along pretty well. She asks how well he holds his liquor and he says he can maintain, which means something totally different where she comes from.

Cranky Bob tells the captain his life story, like the captain cares. There’s difficulty with the buffering in streaming the game. The crew is exhausted already and the game will be on until 6 am their time.

They’re getting snippets of the game and it keeps going to freeze frame. Get these people drunk and show them cartoons, I say. Hannah goes to bed while Bob uses the f-word a couple of thousand times. He sniffles that the audio is bad. Tiffany hears me and says she’s gong to get him drunk. Aw, Bob is finally happy and jumping up and down like the 3-year-old he is. The Steelers loose. Good. I don’t really care, I just hate Bob.

Bob tells Danny he’s thinking of stealing one of the small boats. Let him, I say. Bryan tells Danny his radio is out and he shouldn’t be so casual with the guests. Danny thinks if he makes a connection, they might get a better tip. Duh, yeah.

Everyone is up and working. Julia says you always have to be doing something. It’s kind of like working at the Gap. I worked there for a back-to-school season when I first moved to NYC and you had to be moving all the time just in case the regional manager came in. We unfolded and refolded clothes a lot. Hannah asks Stupid Bob if he’s happy and he says yes, but she’s not happy with Tiffany. Tiffany watched some of the game with Bob at his request, since no one else was willing to keep him company all night, and Hannah thinks she should be working harder. I guess she was supposed to clone herself.

Jen hates everything about Greece, specifically the old buildings (what you call ancient architecture) and the food. Add another moron to the list. Ben tells Hannah to chill about Tiffany. He says she’s a third stew and not expected to be amazing yet. Hannah sends Tiffany to help Julia. Tiffany is upset about how Hannah is treating her and since Julia’s been in the same position, she tells her everything will be fine.

Hannah says she wants Tiffany to succeed and be happy, but doesn’t want to lower her standards. Ben tells her again to chill.

Captain Mark has been giving specific instructions on how to dock in this particular place because it’s really tight. I know from the previous seasons that docking is extremely difficult and has to be done perfectly. Bryan tells Jen what she needs to do. She claims she can do it with one hand tied behind her back, but she hasn’t seemed very capable up until now.

Big discussion among the male guests about the game. I’m hoping Village Idiot Bob had money on it. Deckhand Bobby says it’s nerve-wracking trying to dock. Captain Mark says it’s tough with a group of people who have never done this together before. Ben is impressed with the captain. The crew gets into their formal-wear for the departure.
Impossible-To-Please Bob says despite the game debacle, it’s the best trip he’s ever had. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I’d hate to be with him when he’s having a bad time.

Jen and Tiffany bond because neither one of them are “girly.” Bob tells Hannah he took an “objective test” and he’s clinically depressed. Did he get it off the internet?

It’s good-by or aloha or whatever. Primary Guest Christine thanks the captain and crew. She says everything was great, but there were a couple of “hiccups.” God, I promise if you make me rich, I won’t be an a-hole. Please-oh-please-oh-please. As fabulous as I think working on a yacht would be, I seriously doubt I could handle some of these people. They bitch about the game and how Bob wasn’t pleased. This comes from another one of the female guests since Cowardly Bob isn’t in sight and Christine just stands there and smiles. Now, my favorite part — tip time!

Captain Mark says they did quite well considering some of the obstacles they had. 15,000 Euros or $1388 each. For a three day trip. The captain says they deserve a night out and no drinking too much on the boat.

Julia has been with her boyfriend for two years and she says he’s a keeper. They show a few pics of him and I have to agree, he looks good. She says she used to be an idiot where men are concerned. Jen is pissed because she feels like she’s not being given important tasks. Well, maybe one of the reasons is her attitude. Bryan FaceTimes with his dad and tells him about his promotion to chief officer.

The crew gets gussied up and has a kiki before going to shore. Tiffany says she’s going to marry Ben so her name can be Mrs. Robinson. Hannah is embarrassed because Tiffany is drinking wine out of a bottle. Who cares? I can tell Hannah is going to be a barrel of laughs on night’s out.

The crew goes to a restaurant and makes small talk. Hannah acts all flirty with Ben. My advice to Ben is, don’t. While they’re having wine and deciding what to order, Tiffany calls Hannah “mom,” so Hannah calls her a trashbag. I’m not kidding. What a horrible human being. Tiffany is either too nice or drunk to say anything equally disgusting back. After dinner, they move on to a bar. They sit outside and Hannah keeps calling Tiffany a trashbag until Danny tells her to knock it off. Thank you. Tiffany says something about being tired and Hannah gets on her case because you shouldn’t complain about your job during off hours while you’re drinking. Hannah says Tiffany needs to take responsibility for what she signed up for. Both Ben and Bryan think Hannah is wasting her time trying to lecture someone who is drunk. Bryan tries to get in the middle and Hannah tells him to piss off. Hannah makes Tiffany cry, so I guess she feels successful now.

Danny is hitting on some girls and gets some numbers. Like he’s ever going to get together with anyone he met in Greece. Ben tells Tiffany he’s sorry she had to deal with Hannah’s crap on her night off. Ben thinks that stuff shouldn’t be done during off hours and especially not while you’re drinking. Another thank you. Ben likes Tiffany because she’s weird and smart. Hannah discusses Tiffany with Bryan. He tells her it’s the time to let loose, not the time for criticism. She tells him to stay in his lane and in his interview, he says she seems to have forgotten he’s the boss as first officer. Hannah gives him the finger and says he’s not going to get away with speaking to her like that. She tells him to do his managing the way he wants to and she’ll do hers the way she wants to. But you’re not managing, Blanche!

Next week, Danny brings girls on the boat, the yacht is chartered for a photo shoot, Danny hits on the models, and Danny cries. Lots of Danny.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we left, Brad had just walked in, wanting to talk to Alex, but discovered Randal there. Alex didn’t want Randal there, but that’s Brad’s usual bad timing. Randal says he was just there to see his son and he was just leaving. Randal says he’ll see Alex tomorrow in court and she tells him to get out. He says, see you, little Randal, to the baby with that stupid, sick smile on his face.

Alex asks Brad why he’s there and he says it’s obvious she wasn’t expecting him. She says he was supposed to call when he was coming to see the kids. He says he lied, but she wouldn’t know anything about lying. She says if he wants a fight, he’s going to fight by himself and Randal was just there to see his son. Brad says, so you admit it now, like it wasn’t obvious. I mean, really. Brad acts high and mighty, and Alex says she’s apologized a million times, but the only time Brad is happy is when he’s punishing her. Brad says he doesn’t know her anymore and she says that makes two of them. He says he’s been consistent and Alex is like, really? Moving in with Marcie is consistent? They spar a little more and she asks why he’s there. Brad says hearing her say that makes him realize he shouldn’t be and Alex is like, bye then.

Julius Sr.’s sidekick throws Julius up against the wall and says all he had to do was wait a day and his father would have died with dignity. Instead, he killed him. Julius says he’s the boss now and the sidekick works for him. Sidekick says Julius’s father wanted the will read immediately after his death and he’ll see him at the lawyer’s office.

Lushion goes to Kelly’s office. She apologizes for letting Natalie put his name on the loan papers, but he says it’s cool. She asks if he’s there on business or social and he says both. He can tell something is wrong and Kelly tells him about seeing a girl at Ramses’s house. Lushion asks if she asked who the girl was, and Kelly says no, she just left. Lushion says she shouldn’t play games and just ask if she has a question. Lushion asks how long before he and Natalie can move in and Kelly tells him 30-45 days. He says he’s anxious to move Natalie and their kids into the new place and Kelly is impressed with him calling the kids theirs when only one is really his. He asks if Ramses would rent to them until the sale. Kelly is annoyed that she has to go back and talk to Ramses so soon, but Lushion begs a little and she relents. He asks her not to tell Natalie.

Marcie comes home to Brad staring out the window. She says she told him to go home. Brad tells Marcie that Alex was there with Randal who was visiting his son. Brad says he’d never hurt the baby, but every day it would be a reminder. Marcie says the baby is innocent, but Brad says the baby would just trigger bad memories and on top of it, they’d have to share custody. Marcie tells him that he can do it if he tries. He says if moving in together was a mistake, just tell him and he’ll go. She says it’s a mistake and she wants him to leave. She says ever since they made love she’s regretted it because she craves him now, and she doesn’t want to be involved with him because it would mean Randal and Alex pushed them together. She doesn’t want them to have that power. Interesting.

Lushion gazes lovingly at Natalie while she’s working. She tells him she’s sorry about the disk and asks if he found it. He says no, but that’s not why he’s there. He says a friend at the hospital gave him some perspective. He tells her she’s beautiful and she asks if he wants lunch. He says no, he just came there to stare at her. He says he’s going to wear the kids out at the park so they can have an uninterrupted evening. They talk about the house and he says he never liked the idea of shacking up and asks her to marry him.

Lushion asks for everyone’s attention. He tells the entire room that he loves Natalie and wants to marry her. Then he asks her again and shows her a ring, while everyone stares at them. After he asks like seven times, she says yes. Everyone applauds.

It’s time for the reading of the will. Both Tilda and Julius’s mother are there and start to argue when Julius comes in. He asks why Tilda is there and the lawyer says his father wanted her there. He starts to read the will. It begins by him saying if anyone objects or contests to anything, they’ll be cut out. He puts on the video.

Julius Sr. says he’s of sound mind and all that. He leaves Tilda, the love of his life, the house and $25 million; his daughter with her gets the rest of his fortune. He says Julius tried to put a pillow over his face and killed him (oooh, he’s like Helena), and says his wife is no better and always coddled Julius. He says she’s the most selfish, vindictive bitch he’s ever met and Julius needs to go his own way. Julius smashes the TV screen. Dammit! I wanted to hear more. He gets in the lawyer’s face and the lawyer says he’s sorry. Julius is like, fine, and leaves with mommy. The lawyer tells Tilda, congratulations. She says thank you, but she’s crying.

Esperanza gets a call about Claudia at the station. She says she’s confused because when she called, she was told Claudia never worked there. Esperanza asks if Lushion checked on Claudia. He says she did and she’s clean. Esperanza says a supervisor from a previous job just called and says she did work there, after Esperanza was told she didn’t. Esperanza says something is wrong, and that Claudia doesn’t know anything about the system. Eddie rolls up and Esperanza explains the Claudia situation. Eddie says he’ll run her too.

Lushion makes a phone call so quiet, I have no idea what he said.

Marcie goes to a house where they’re doing some construction work. She asks the crew to make themselves scarce because she has a client coming. Randal walks in and she tells him to leave. Randal says he wants to talk to her and she screams for help. She says she doesn’t want to talk to him. Nice of those guys not to come back when she yelled. They couldn’t have possibly gotten that far. Randal says he’s going to make her life a living hell and she says he already has. He says she slept with that bastard and she says just like he did. Randal asks if it made her feel better and she says yes. He says she’s living with Brad now, and Marcie lies, saying they’re doing it every night. He suggests visiting and bringing Alex. He is so sickening. He goes on to say that he tried having a baby with Marcie and nothing happened, but it did with Alex. Marcie says she has a client coming and, no surprise, Randal says he’s the one who set up the appointment. He says he hasn’t begun to fight and she tells him to watch out because she has a serious mean streak. She smacks his face with the back of her hand and walks out. He says he can’t wait.

Travis is on Kelly’s porch, like I haven’t had enough of sickening men tonight. He says she lured him into her house and had sex with him, she didn’t return his calls, and now he caught her with someone else. She says he can’t “catch” her because there’s nothing between them. She tells him to go home. She says he’s the one who left her to get engaged to someone else, and sometimes the one who gets hurt deserves it. She tells him to get lost and he grabs her. She says he’s hurting her and he gets all nasty and way too close and weird. Where is Ramses when she needs him? Finally, he lets her go and leaves. I thought he was just odd before, now I think he’s seriously disturbed.

Steve asks Eddie what he’s doing and says he’ll be in trouble if the captain catches him in the files. Eddie says his name is Edward, “which stands for I don’t give a damn.” Okay… Steve tells him Julius Sr. died.

Lushion motions to Claudia to meet him in the locker room. He tells her Eddie is running her file and he talked to Larry. She thanks him and gives him a hug. In the timing only a soap opera can have, Esperanza walks in. Claudia jets and Esperanza insists they were kissing. Lushion says they were talking, and he was giving Claudia some advice. (Like they always say, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.) She asks if Eddie is rubbing off on him and says to stay away from Claudia or she’ll talk to Natalie. Lushion says he’s not Eddie, and he doesn’t lie and cheat. She says he sneaks around and she’s watching him.

Julius is back at the lawyer’s office. The lawyer says he’s sorry again, but there’s nothing he can do. Julius says he wants to know who his sister is and where she is. Julius, who is another creep, says what happens if she dies. The lawyer says everything goes to him, although I would think it’s Tilda. The lawyer says if there’s anything suspicious about the sister’s death, he doesn’t get anything. The only way he gets anything is if she dies from natural causes.

Julius stabs the lawyer through both hands, pinning his hands to his desk. The lawyer spills and says the sister’s name is Claudia. Julius makes him talk to Tilda on the phone (obviously, Julius dials) and says Claudia needs to come in to sign something. Tilda says she doesn’t deal with her daughter, but she works at the police station. I swear. Julius and Randal must be related. They have the same crazy look. Let me revise that. Julius, Randal, Eddie and now Travis must be related.

Anyway, DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Next week, Eddie hears there’s an undercover cop at the station, Alex begs Randal to stop (good luck with that), and Lushion wants info from Oliver.

May 3, 2016 — GH, Mediterranean Hello, Beverly Hills Good-By & Wrong Loving

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Replay of the scene in the park where Jason catches Franco spying on him and Sam.

Hayden goes back to Windemere with Nicholas. He asks her to explain about the diamonds. She says he planted them, if they’re even real. She says he thinks he can tie the diamonds to her father’s money, but he’s wrong. He says he can and he has.

Griff asks Anna if she’s okay. She says she’s been thinking about Duke. Griff says it must be gratifying that Carrrlos is behind bars on the anniversary of Duke’s death. She tells Griff about the eyewitness.

Replay of Alexis finding a dead Hale. She calls out for help. Nathan comes and tells her to call 911. Like you need to tell this to an adult (a lawyer no less) who has just found a dead body.

Julian says it’s done. Nina walks in and tells him this is nowhere near done.

Sam says Franco must have been watching them at the barn and Jason asks what he wants.

Nicholas says there are possessions of Hayden’s parents that are still unaccounted for. Hayden says she has no idea where any of it went. Nicholas says there’s an inventory online and the diamonds are part of a necklace listed there. She says if the diamonds are real, he’s gone to a lot of trouble. Nicholas says the stones are marked and can be traced back, and he’s had the stones examined. He says if she’s not convinced they should call the Feds. She asks him not to.

Sam asks why Franco is stalking them and he says they’re only moderately interesting at best. She tells him about the footprints at the barn. Franco makes up a child’s rhyme, ending with, “I did not stalk you on a lark; I did not stalk you in the park,” and I laugh. Jason asks why he was in the bushes then and tells him he’s not fit to work with kids. Franco pulls his sketch pad out and shows them sketches he’s done in the park and says that’s his hideaway to sketch wildlife. Jason says he’s not going to work with Jake anymore. Franco says sketching helps him work stuff out. Jason acts like a nut, grabs the pad and asks what else he’s got. He sees the picture of Nina.

Nina thinks Julian is talking about the issues with Crimson, but Julian has the feeling she isn’t really talking about the magazine. Nina says he’s right and that she and Franco hit a new low — it’s over. Julian says he’s sorry and if there’s anything he can do, to let him know. She wants to know who he was talking to when she walked in. Like that’s her business.

Anna says Jordan seems to think the witness is credible. She says Paul still has his agenda with Carrrlos and they could use some corroborating evidence.

Hale still has a pulse and Nathan tells Alexis to hurry up.

Anna tells Griff that Alexis is very skillful. She wonders who Alexis was talking to at the bar. Griff says the only person Anna should be concerning herself with is her. She says if she can get justice for Duke (which sounds like an online petition), she can take whatever happens to her. She promised herself that today she was going to celebrate his life and Griff says he’s in.

Sam says the picture is disturbing and Franco says it’s a picture, not Nina’s head in a box. Jason asks if he’s going to hurt Nina. Franco asks why would he would waste his time following them. Sam wants to know why he drew the picture and he says his drawings are his business. He says he would never hurt Nina, not the way they’re talking about anyway. Seriously, this picture isn’t all that radical and these two are way overreacting.

Ignoring her question, Julian says he owes Nina an apology for his last outburst and she says she was out of line a little. Julian says talking about Franco might help. She says it’s over, but she’s not writing him off as a monster. She says he’s misguided, but she loves him. She says they just wanted different things and maybe she never new the real Franco. She tells him he’s lucky that he an Alexis don’t have that problem. D’oh!

Hale gets taken to the hospital. Nathan tells them to let him know when Hale regains consciousness. Alexis says she assumes it was an OD, but Nathan says that’s to be determined. Nathan says he has to call the station, and tells Alexis to get some coffee and calm herself. She texts Julian to meet her at the ER.

Julian gets the text and tells Nina he has to go.

Nathan asks Alexis some questions. She says she met Hale once before and Nathan asks about the circumstances.

Hayden says maybe the diamonds are a problem, but where does that leave them? Nicholas says they’re at a detente. She suggests they call it a draw and go their separate ways. Nicholas says he needs her to sign a document surrendering the rights to the $5 million from the prenup.

Anna and Griff have tea. She tells Griff how she and Duke met and tells the story of their first dance before she even knew his name. She says they connected and always had up until he died. Griff asks if their first dance was the tango, but she says that came later. She says dancing with Duke was like floating on air. Griff says he should warn her that he has two left feet and asks if she would teach him to tango as an homage to Duke.

Franco starts to leave. Sam asks if he’s going to explain the sketch. He says no. Sam says a woman has the right to know if their boyfriend is making creepy sketches. Puh-leeze. He says they had a fight, he’s pissed and he drew a picture. He leaves and Jason makes more of it than anyone ever should. Jason says he doesn’t want Franco around Jake. Normally, I like these two, but they are really annoying me today.

Alexis tells Nathan that Hale is a potential witness in a case she’s working on and that she found him just like he was. Julian shows up at the hospital. She tells him she found the eyewitness with a needle in his arm. They hear Nathan asking if he can question Hale.

Hayden says Nicholas won’t even miss the five million, but he says he’s not going to give her five cents. She says she almost died when he had her shot and she deserves something. She refuses to sign and says go ahead and call the agent. If he does, she’s going to tell about the shooting and Spencer can grow up seeing him behind bars. She says it’s better Spencer knows now who his father really is, rather than grow up deluded and find out later. I’m guessing she’s also talking about her own father.

Anna tries to teach Griff to tango. For having two left feet, he does pretty well, since that’s not an easy dance. Afterwards, he says they should go out to dinner and they can schedule his next dance lesson. She says it will give him an in with the ladies and he almost chokes on his tea, spilling it on his shirt. They leave so he can change before they go out.

Franco shows up at Nina’s office. She says she doesn’t think they need to say anything else. He agrees, but tells her about Sam and Jason seeing the sketch. He says if they told her about it, they’d give her the wrong idea and he wants her to see it.

Hale is dead. Nathan asks if the body can be examined. Julian says clearly it’s an overdose (like he was there), but Nathan says they can’t be sure until they assess the body. He says when he gets back, he’ll have to know what case of Alexis’s Hale was involved with. Ha-ha! Julian must be nervous AF.

Alexis tells Julian that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos. Sam and Jason come in and Julian explains that Alexis found a junkie that had overdosed. Alexis adds that it wasn’t just any junkie.

Anna and Griff go to the hospital where Griff apparently keeps his clothing. While he changes, Anna calls Jordan and leaves a message asking her to meet tomorrow.

Nicholas suggests they table things for now. Hayden says they should both back off, at least until tomorrow. She says she guesses they’ll just stay married and he says for now. She says since she’s still his wife, she’s entitled to certain rights and privileges. He says, “As you wish, my princess,” and starts taking off his clothes.

Nina asks if it’s a threat and Franco tells her Sam and Jason thought the same thing. He says it’s not a threat, it’s just how he sees their relationship right now. She says she doesn’t see anything that horrible. Franco says he had high hopes and she says she did too. He says he thought it was forever and it’s over. When he had that realization, he drew what he was feeling. He says he sees them as broken and twisted and it can’t be fixed.

Nathan wants the car dusted for prints. He says he’ll be back to finish with Alexis’s statement. Jason asks who the guy was and Julian stalls. Alexis tells them that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos and Anna overhears.

Hayden tells Nicholas to stop and says she was talking about money. He says they each have control over their earnings, but oh that’s right, she doesn’t have any since the Quartermaines left her out in the cold. She asks if she’s a prisoner there. He says if she chooses to stay, he can give her an allowance, and that the days of his indulging her every need are over because he doesn’t love her anymore. He says the diamonds changed everything and her past is catching up to her. I’m confused. Where did he find these diamonds, since she wasn’t living there anymore?

He leaves and Hayden says, “No, my prince. It’s not over.” I love that prince/princess stuff.

Franco says he still wants what they had and that Nina is amazing. He says she’s an unforgettable woman and he wishes her every happiness. Nina says what about him and he says he doesn’t think happiness is in the cards for him, but it’s okay. He says he realizes he should just be him — the kind of guy who wold draw a picture like that. Seriously, the picture wasn’t all that bad.

Nathan walks in on Griff, who is looking at the scar on his body. Didn’t Maxie say it was a gunshot wound?

Anna says Alexis was badgering Hale earlier and now he’s dead. She asks why the both of them are there and Alexis says she found Hale. Anna says Alexis does everything to protect Julian and now she’s killed for him.

Tomorrow, Nathan says he knows how Griff got his scar (hmm…did Nathan shoot him? and does this have something to do with Claudette?), Alexis pleads innocence, and Jason tells Franco that he’s not getting inside Jake’s head.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

A bunch of new names to learn. Except for Chef Ben who was also on most of the Caribbean seasons.

Chef Ben is excited to be on the water in Greece, since it’s similar to where he trained in Italy. Hannah, the chief stew, says it’s unusual to be meeting an entirely new crew and taking on guests the same day. The boat itself, the Ionian Princess, is decorated very gaudily. Julia, stew #2, says she’s speechless. Me too. The fixtures are…well….

Captain Mark asks first mate Bryan to be his go-to guy, especially since there’s a bit of a language barrier. Tiffany is the 3rd stew and there are deckhands Bobby, Danny, Jen and Miko.

Ben thinks Captain Mark is odd, but says all captains are odd. Everyone is putting away supplies. They all seem down to help, and this looks like a hard-working bunch, which wasn’t always the case in the Caribbean.

The deckhands and stews have meetings where they talk about their yachting backgrounds and skills. Tiffany aspires to be a captain. Hannah doesn’t seem to understand why Tiffany would take a position she doesn’t want, which wasn’t exactly what she said, and I already see that Hannah is going to be a pita.

Jen and Julia talk relationships and Jen reveals she’s gay. She thinks Hannah is hot, but just wait. I’ll bet by the end of the season she won’t be able to stand the sight of her. Cleaning commences. Hannah says she’s a high school drop-out who was told she wouldn’t amount to anything, so I see now she’s an overachieving perfectionist who will want everyone else to be perfect too.

Christine is the primary guest, along with her husband, Bob. The captain goes through the preference sheets. Christine has a natural skincare line and Ben is supposed to incorporate the flavors of the ingredients into the food somewhere. Hannah thinks she has good chemistry with Ben and since they’re both from Australia, that’s probably part of it.

The crew changes into their formalwear to greet the guests. Ben says it’s insane to have done all this and have guests within 24-hours, but it’s okay because he’s insane. Ha-ha! I like Ben

The guests arrive. Christine has a high-pitched voice and is annoying me already. Hannah shows the guests around the yacht. Christine says she likes the marble in the master bath and I have to say it is beautiful and probably the only good thing about the decor in there. I can’t deal with the gold swan faucets.

Jen and Tiffany do laundry, longing to be outside, and the deckhands do deckhand stuff while they talk about women. One of them says he’s worked on some boats with heifers and it sucks. I cringe. BTW, he’s not all that. Ben talks to Christine about the food. He likes challenging the guests’ palates by trying new things and hopes this group is up for it.

They drop anchor somewhere in the Greek Islands. Christine shows off her fitness on deck, while some of the guys go swimming. It’s time for cocktails, which I think is really all the time on a yacht. The guests want to have a football game streamed in. Hannah is messing with the TV and says that guests don’t understand that they can’t exactly get cable in the middle of the Mediterranean.

When it doesn’t seem to be working well with the TV, Bob tells Hannah that it’s one of the non-negotiables. She knows that means if it doesn’t happen, their tip goes down. Ugh! Dude, you are out on the water in the middle of nowhere, not home on your couch. First idiocy of the first episode of the first season. Well, except for that heifer comment.

This place is just beautiful. Ben is going to make moussaka for dinner. The captain and several deckhands get in on the TV issue. Jen is the most experienced deckhand, but says she sees already that she’s not favored because she’s a female. No surprise, since Bryan has never worked with a woman before.

Dinner is served. Ben looks like he’s wearing pajamas, but I guess it’s a chef’s jacket. He has to flambe the cheese appetizer and timing is everything. It looks really tasty. Really tasty. The moussaka is next. Hannah doesn’t explain it very well to the guests though. Everyone complains that it’s too heavy. Ben says he likes to eat lean as well, but he wants moussaka in Greece. I’d like some right now. He seems to think part of the problem was Hannah’s description of the dish. Hannah thinks Ben has issues with being wrong.

Ben says you can always make amends and goes up to explain dessert. He’s incorporated the skincare flavors of green tea, coconut and something else I’ve already forgotten. Glad it’s not lanolin or microbeads.

Jen is late getting up and seems resentful that she has to be on deck early. I thought she said she was the most experienced and wanted to be noticed? Hannah says it doesn’t look like they can stream the game, so she’s going into town to see if they can make it happen there. Cranky Bob is starving and Ben makes frittatas for breakfast. They’re heavenly from the reaction of the guests. Julia thinks Hannah is getting stressed. She says doing acrobatics has taught her how to hide stress, but I fail to see the connection. I’d definitely be stressed doing acrobatics and would not be able to hide it.

Bryan asks Jen if she was up when she was supposed to be. She says just a few minutes after and Bryan tells her six means six and don’t let it happen again. Danny tells Jen he didn’t say anything, but Jen doesn’t believe him. (He didn’t.) She doesn’t know how he gets through life without lying. Remind me to never take her on as a friend.

Bob is bitching that he’s never missed a Steeler’s game. Well, if it was so important, why didn’t you plan your vacation around it? Hannah is going nuts trying to find a place where he can watch it, so her crew members aren’t penalized.

This season, Hula hooping, birthdays on the water, twerking, hair extensions, inappropriate romance, and someone gets sent home. Below Deck: The Original will also be back this fall.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Three

Eileen was offended by Lisa’s blog where she spoke about an abusive relationship, when LVP didn’t want to be open with them on camera. Andy asks if LVP was hurt by the guy, and she says twice and she left. She starts crying and says she hasn’t cried about it since then and had only even mentioned it to Ken once. Andy says he’s surprised she never shared it. Yolanda says that’s what they want to see, those deep emotions. Eileen says that’s how people bond on a deeper level. Here’s a clue, maybe she doesn’t want to relive the moment and rehash it with her friends.

Kathryn says she has shared things like that with LVP, but that she comes off as detached when she’s around the group. LVP brings up the Yulan dogs. Eileen says she has more empathy for animals than she does for the group. So do I. LVP is like, thanks, that’s not the first time you’ve been nasty. Eileen covers by playing the honest card. LVP says she was hurt and Eileen doesn’t think it was nasty, but apologizes. Andy points out that Eileen apologized immediately, and asks LVP if she has a hard time with apologies. She says she must if everyone thinks so.

Eileen says she hated being a bitch this season and resents that she was turned into one because of this whole mess. They talk about Kathryn passing along what Erika said about LVP being manipulative. I don’t think Kathryn should have repeated it, but hey, how about not talking about people behind their back? Discussion of Erika using the c-word commences. Bleh. I don’t like it and I think it’s rude to use it in front of someone who finds it offensive, just like I would any other word. We go back to Kathryn repeating what Erika said. Erika says it wasn’t smack, it was her opinion. The word “opinion” is used the same way the word “honest” is used with these women, as an excuse to be nasty. Maybe her opinion is smack. Erika talks about when Kathryn acted stupid at her dinner party. Erika says Kathryn called LVP a “harmless old lady” when they spoke on the phone. Is this really necessary?

Kathryn says she never said that. Kathryn says Erika is desperate and Erika says, no, you. Kathryn says Erika gossiped about everyone except Yolanda every night in Dubai. LVP interjects that Kathryn only repeated a little of what Erika had said. Andy wants a show of hands as to who thinks Kathryn was wrong in what she did. Can we move on? Yolanda talks about that moron Brandi saying LVP is manipulative. Andy mentions Tom comparing LVP to an alligator and how LVP thought it was funny. She says it was the delivery and he was sparring with her.

Erika says LVP is tough and LVP says not as tough as people think. Kathryn says she’s never heard LVP say a bad word about anyone. Erika says although they got off to a bad start, she and Kathryn are cool now.

They show a video of Brandi who says it’s amazing to be a viewer, which is what you say when they fire you. She says a bunch of nasty stuff about LVP and Lisa wants to know why Brandi is being given a platform when she’s not on the show and they can’t reply. Yeah, me too. Nasty &)@%$!) bitch. She says LVP was a puppeteer and manipulated her. I don’t believe that for a second. I seriously doubt Brandi can be manipulated.

LVP is like why, Andy? Yolanda says it’s fair, since Kim got to come on the reunion, that Brandi should have her say. Hello? It’s a little different when you can’t respond. LVP says Brandi is ridiculous, which is an understatement, and a lot cleaner than what I’d say. Brandi is an attention seeker who can’t seem to get any on her own.

We go down Memory Lane from the little horse to Dubai. They talk about the Dubai trip. The suite LVP and Kyle was forty grand a night. Eileen tells a funny story about the aquarium in her room and how she was told no one could see in. She was in her bathrobe when the diver who cleans it came by and turned around to see him making an okay sign, and they show a pic.

No! No! No! We’re back at Munchhausen’s. I never ever want to hear that word again. They talk about LVP and Kyle’s friendship. Andy says Kyle seemed to want to do whatever it takes to keep the friendship going. Kyle says she loves Lisa and knows she feels the same and would always have her back. They talk about some of Yolanda’s Instagrams being funny. Yolanda gets insulted, but they show one that totally is, with her inside some device that looks like she’s in a toaster.

We see Ken telling LVP that LisaR is a wanker and stupid bitch. Both Eileen and LisaR say they’re appalled that a man would talk like that about a woman and would be offended if either of their husbands did that. Really? You mean to tell me that in a private conversation if your husband jumped to your defense that way, you’d be pissed at him? Highly, highly doubtful. And I also doubt it’s never happened. It’s sad that I’ve come to think these two are a bit delusional. I also love how Ken always stands up for his wife. I think it’s commendable.

LVP says that’s the way Ken felt and he was pissed off. She should have said he was being honest and giving his opinion. Yolanda brings up when Ken called her stupid and we flash back. Giggy! OMG we’re back to Munchhausen and LVP manipulating LisaR. I can’t take it. Andy asks if LisaR is easily manipulated. She doesn’t know. She says no one can figure out if she’s a people-pleaser or bipolar. Then we go back to you-know-what and who said what first. If I was at this reunion, I’d refuse to participate in this topic any more.

Andy moves on to….no, we’re not moving on. LisaR wants her moment and talks about LVP telling her to drag Kyle into it. What this actually sounds like — and I oughtta know after listening to this crap for months — is that both LVP and LisaR say that LVP said the same thing, but the inflection is different, which makes a difference in the meaning. For example: You can never put too much water in a nuclear reactor. I can say it one way where you’d think you can put in as much as you like, and another way where it’s a warning not to. I see what’s happening here.

I can’t write Munchhausen again, so I’ll just wait until we change topics. If ever.

Kathryn and Yolanda zone out and Erika plays with her hair.

Andy asks who Yolanda believes. Eileen wins. Kyle says it seems like they’re trying to make a problem between her and LVP. This makes sense, since Brandi kind of did the same thing. Someone tweets that Kyle has Stockholm Syndrome. Kyle says no one is an angel there and this is being made into a bigger deal than it is.

We flash back to various times where LVP was called manipulative. Andy asks if LVP wants to apologize to anyone and she says no. Andy says she and LisaR have known each other for 25 years, which surprises me because I didn’t know that. Was I not paying attention when LisaR joined the show? Maybe. Anyway, he asks if they can repair the friendship and LVP says she doesn’t know because LisaR seems so angry. She is a freaking firecracker. I might like to hang out with her occasionally, but I don’t think we could be good friends. LisaR says she’s hurt and disappointed, but doesn’t want to hold a grudge.

This sort of threw some confusion in for me. If they’ve known each other that long, has this “manipulation” been going on all this time and the light bulb just came on? Or did it just happen out of the blue?

Andy says they did it all with class and dignity…mostly.

They talk about what they got out of the season. Kyle says knowing about Lyme disease, which I totally agree with. I didn’t know it was so mystifying and debilitating. Yolanda just wants to get well. LisaR really has nothing to say. Eileen says there’s no contest that the Housewives win over soaps in the drama department. Kathryn says it was everything she expected and Erika agrees. Erika never saw the show before and says she jumped in and found out a lot of things the hard way.

LVP says she’s sorry people thought she was manipulative and regrets not understanding Yolanda’s illenss better and that she wasn’t as supportive as she should have been.

They each say the best quality of the person to their right. And it’s all nice for once.

Note: On Watch What Happens Live (with LisaR and Chef Ben as guests), Andy retired the word I hate. There was a count, and the number of times it was said this season was 80, but I would swear on a Bible that it was more than that.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we last left, Julius was smothering his father. Success! All the doctors finally hear the monitor and come running in. I guess no one thinks it’s weird that Julius puts the pillow down as they go running toward the old man. He still has a pulse.

Lushion comes to the hospital to see Pete and Oliver asks why. He says he just wants to see how he is and Oliver says there’s a camera in the room. Lushion is like, okay, but I guess Oliver doesn’t know where Lushion is at. He gets to the room and tells Ben he’s staying the night, so he can go home. Ben says he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and Lushion says yeah, they shouldn’t go against the captain’s orders, but they’re both staying. He asks how Ben’s hand is. Ben says good. Lushion says that’s good. Everything is good.

Lusion goes into Pete’s room. He wishes Pete had told him what was on the disk. He swears to get revenge for all the rookies on the wall. He sheds a few tears and says he’s going to get who did this. All of them.

When is Ramses going to be in the opening montage?

Crazy Eddie approaches Ben who tells him Lushion is there. Eddie says Lushion can’t stay with Pete every night and Ben asks what he should do. Eddie tells him stop asking stupid questions and smacks him. He says if he asks it again, he’ll shoot Ben’s other hand off and tells him to do nothing.

Lushion calls Natalie who says she can’t find the disk. She just pulled up to Alex’s house, but she doesn’t want to wake everybody. She wants to wait until tomorrow. He finally says okay, but I don’t understand why she doesn’t realize how important this is. She says no, she’ll do it, but he tells her no and he’ll call her early. Lushion swears to Pete he’ll find the disk.

Marcie wakes Brad. She tells him he was calling Alex’s name in his sleep, but he doesn’t believe it. She thinks he should go home. She says he’s drinking himself to sleep and crying in his sleep and he’s going home. She wants him to just talk to her because they’re not done. She says he’d better be gone or tell her they talked when she gets back.

Kelly tells Natalie she’ll get the house process started asap. Natalie asks the kids if they took the disk out of the kitchen. They all say no. Natalie is wearing some huge hoop earrings and they remind me of the time my boss said he was going to bring a basketball into the office to see if he could get it through my earrings.

Natalie and Esperanza leave for work and the kids get on the bus. Louise asks if she can talk to Kelly. Kelly says she doesn’t want to get involved. Louise says she knows she can help Alex. She says the whole thing is her son’s fault and she wants the opportunity to try and fix it. Kelly says she’ll talk to Alex, but the answer is going to be no. Louise says she’ll take her chances.

Kelly asks Alex how she slept and Alex tells her the three hours was decent. Kelly tells her Randal’s mother wants to talk to her because she thinks she can help, and maybe she should. Alex says Randal is trying to take her baby away and one of them will die first. Kelly says just give Louise a chance; she’ll stay right there. Alex still says no. Kelly says she still thinks it’s a good idea and Alex says bring her in. BTW, Kelly is wearing an amazing pink and orange retro-colored dress.

Louise thanks Alex and says she knows it’s difficult. She apologizes about Randal and says she thinks he’s losing his mind. She says he’s unpredictable and vindictive. She says maybe he was always that way and she didn’t see it. She tells Alex what he’s done to her and her family is awful.

Louise remembers something from the past where Randal was enraged over a girl’s perceived cheating. She says he finally calmed down enough to hear her and she’s still there waiting for the calm to come, but it hasn’t. She thinks there might be one thing they can do. She asks Alex is the baby is really Randal’s since she hasn’t seen him. Alex tells Kelly she’s not going to answer just so Louise can take the baby away.

Louise wants to see the baby, but Alex is afraid Randal sent her. Louise assures her Randal doesn’t even know she’s there. Kelly tells Alex it’s okay and Alex shows her the baby. He’s very tiny and cute. She says he looks just like Randal did. She asks what his name is and Alex says Brad. Thank God. I thought we were going through the whole season with this poor kid not having a name.

Louise takes Alex’s hand. She says Randal has always wanted to have a son and if he can’t see him, he’ll continue to rage out of control. She thinks if Randal can see his son, the custody thing will blow over. Alex is like, no way, and Louise says he’ll continue if he doesn’t. Alex says then she’ll play the only card she has. Louise says that he loves her and Alex says she doesn’t care. Louise says he likes conflict and if Alex gives him peace, he’ll do the same.

Alex asks if she’s done and Louise says if Alex wants her to be. Alex says yes, gripping the baby’s car seat like there’s an earthquake. Louise thanks Kelly for trying and leaves. Kelly starts to leave and Alex says she has an opinion, so what is she thinking. Kelly says Alex doesn’t want to know. She says she thinks if Alex wants to end all the drama, she should let Randal see his child. Kelly leaves for work.

Kelly stops by Ramses’s place on her lunch break to bring the papers for the sale of the house. She asks to come in. Ramses is still unpacking and she says she can help him for an hour. He says he’s good. A girl comes out from another room and says she found whatever, gives him a folder and goes back. Kelly says she has to go and bolts.

Kelly is crying at her desk and her phone keeps ringing. It’s Ramses and she doesn’t answer. Oh, come on, you haven’t even kissed yet and have no idea who that person was, not that he owes you any explanations. Alex calls and says she just sent Randal a text and he’s on his way. She wanted somebody to know and she’ll call when he leaves.

Randal the Insane comes in and asks how Alex is, saying she doesn’t look like she’s had a baby. Alex is stone-faced and tells him see the baby or get out. Randal gets emotional seeing his son. He asks what they’re going to name him and Alex says his name is Bradley. Randal says he wants the baby named after him and Alex says that’s not happening. Alex asks Randal to do her a favor and stop this now, the custody, the name, everything. Randal says he should have some rights. Alex agrees, but says that’s something they need to discuss between them later. He says he wants what’s best for the baby. Alex says she’s what’s best for him. Randal says Brad hates the baby. Alex says they’re getting a divorce and she’d never let any harm come to him. She’d hoped Randal would let her have her way. Randal says the child is his legacy and he can’t have him named after someone whose not his father. He says he’s not dictating how Alex is going to raise him; he wants custody and for the baby to not be around Brad or her father.

Alex says she wanted nothing to do with the baby at first because he reminded her of how he was conceived, in lies and in deceit and in a shed. She says she didn’t want life anymore, but the baby kept looking at her with his beautiful eyes and she knew he was her son and she’d never let anyone harm him. She says if Randal pursues this, he will harm him. Randal repeats he has rights. He says Alex doesn’t have the money to fight him, so let him have custody. She says that’s not happening. Randal says they’ll be right next door. Alex says the baby isn’t a pawn or a tie Randal wants to her and she tells him to let it go.

Randal picks up the baby. Alex tells Randal a story about a mother bear killing some hikers. She tells Randal he’s one of those hikers. She says the hikers had no idea they were in danger until it was over. She tells him his visit is over too, and she wants the baby back. Randal makes a sickening face and says she can have their son…for now. I hate him so much, and I especially hate those crazy faces he makes.

Alex tells him she’s sorry for what’s going to happen to him next. And in the perfect timing he always has, Brad walks in. He says wow and looks pretty grim.

Next time, Randal calls the baby RJ, Kelly tells Travis they’re done, and Julius’s father is still alive.

April 26, 2016 — GH, Temptation Tuesday & BH Deuxième Reunion

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ric calls Sonny from the police station and says there’s been a development in the Carrrlos case.

Alexis says she shouldn’t have touched the dagger. She tells Julian they’re going to lose everything.

A guy named Hale talks to Jordan. She asks him what information he has about Duke’s murder.

Carly comes into Sonny’s office and asks if he’s almost done with work because it’s time for his birthday dinner. He says he’s waiting for a call from Ric.

Hale jumps up and wants to leave. Jordan says hold on a minute. She asks if he wants her to call a friend for support. Hale says he doesn’t want to involve anyone else and that he saw Duke get shot.

Alexis hands Julian the dagger, telling him to get rid of it, but then she takes it back, saying she’s not ready. She tells him that she and Molly got into a fight about her defending Carrrlos. She says Molly told her she’s compromising her ethics, and Julian asks what she thinks. She waffles.

Ava brings takeout to Franco’s place for her and Kiki. She says circumstances have changed and she’d like Kiki to come home now. Kiki says she doesn’t want to.

Nina literally runs into Dillon and her packages go flying everywhere. Dillon asks her to join him for a drink, but she says she remembers what happened last time and she wants to keep it professional.

At the hospital, Jason starts to choke Franco. Obrecht comes by and says she’ll call security. Franco threatens to tell Jason’s son the truth and Jason starts to choke him again. Sam runs in and says Franco is playing Jason and wants him to react like that. Jason lets Franco go and leaves with Sam. Obrecht asks if what Sam said was true.

Nina asks how much Dillon wants to keep her lapse in judgment from Julian. He says nothing and she thinks he’s going to sue her. He says he’s done way worse and would never hold it against her or judge her and just wants them to be cool. He asks if Franco got angry that they kissed. Nina says she hasn’t told him and he wouldn’t care anyway.

Obrecht says if Jason doesn’t want Franco’s services anymore, that’s the way it goes. Franco says Jake needs him and she says he should have thought about that before goading his father. Franco asks if he’s supposed to just bite the bullet and Obrecht says she does that every day. He says it’s time for him to be the Franco he was born to be. Whatever that means.

Ava asks Kiki if she doesn’t want to come home and Kiki says she is home. Ava says Avery will be home soon, she just has some details to iron out. Kiki says she thinks she needs to stay where she is for multiple reasons. Ava says she has to go and tells Kiki she loves her.

Carly wonders where Jocelyn’s kidney came from if it didn’t come from Jake. Ric interrupts the conversation between her and Sonny.

Alexis gets a call that her motion to dismiss is being ruled on.

Jordan asks Hale to tell her in his own words what he saw and asks why it took him so long to come forward. He says he was using and living on the streets, doing anything to get his next fix. He was breaking into cars at the MetroCourt and heard angry voices, and Julian’s name was mentioned. He says one guy was in a tux and the other guy in street clothes. They struggled over the gun and when it went off, the tuxedo guy had been shot. Jordan shows him Duke’s picture and he says that’s the guy who was shot. She shows him a sheet of pictures and asks if the guy in street clothes is there. He points to Carrrlos.

Sonny asks if he can talk to Ric tomorrow, but Carly says do it now and he has five minutes. Ric tells Sonny about the eyewitness coming forward, adding “happy birthday.”

Jordan calls the judge. Hale asks if she doesn’t believe him and she says she’s just going to verify his story. He says part of his program is making amends and he’s trying to do the right thing. She says she’s just doing her job and goes out into the office. Alexis comes in and Jordan says any charges against Carrrlos aren’t going away because they have an eyewitness. She says Carrrlos is going down and probably Julian with him.

Ava tells Julian what Kiki told her and says she wants to bring Avery home. Julian says the organization understands there’s no benefit in coming after her. She asks why they’d listen to him and he says because he’s in charge now.

Jason and Sam go for a drink. Jason says Franco is manipulating Jake. Sam suggests he talk to Elizabeth, but Jason says Franco nearly caused him to commit murder. He tells Sam about the flash of memory.

Nina tells Dillon that Kiki never leaves the apartment. He thinks she should talk to Franco.

Obrecht tells Franco not to let Jason destroy everything he has. She says he’s done well with his patients and he says not so well with Nina. Obrecht says to keep trying because it’s clear they were meant to be together. He says she’s sweet, but misguided. He gets a text from Nina saying she wants to talk and he projects, saying that means it’s over. Obrecht says if he wants to talk, she’ll be at The Floating Rib.

Ava says what about Julian’s promises to Alexis and his daughters? Julian says his sister was in trouble and he realized the importance of family, so he took the reigns. She asks what Alexis thinks. Julian says she doesn’t know and he’s not telling her.

Alexis says it’s a little odd that a stranger who claims to have seen Duke’s murder should suddenly show up on the day she’s getting the charges dropped.

Ric says they’re a long way from a trial and a guilty verdict isn’t assured. Sonny says an eyewitness is just what they needed, and Ric says hmm…what a coincidence.

Sam says she wants to move forward and hopes Jason can do the same. He asks what Franco had against them and Sam says he was obsessed with Jason.

At the bar, Obrecht tells Nina to make up with Franco. Nina asks if Franco talked to her, but she says it’s obvious they’re not communicating. She tells Nina to put on her big girl pants and make it work. Nina says he’s not answering her texts and Obrecht says leave that to her.

Franco tells Kiki he’s on his way home and he doesn’t want to talk to Nina. There’s a knock at the door. Franco gets a text from Obrecht to meet her and tells Kiki he’s not coming home after all. Kiki answers the door and it’s Dillon. He asks Kiki if she knows how to change a flat tire.

Dillon says it was a long day at work, all he wanted to do is get home and boom! flat tire. Kiki asks what he’s doing on that side of town and he says to get cheap gas. Kiki mentions Maxie’s engagement party and Dillon says it was great. In getting him to say he was there, Kiki knows he wasn’t at work and Dillon admits he came to check on her.

Sam says Franco was jealous of Jason. Jason says he saw the old Franco at the hospital and doesn’t want him near Jake. Franco walks in and then walks back out. Nina sees him and asks Obrecht what’s up with that?

Carly tells Sonny to watch what he delegates to Ric, who’s a snake in the grass. Sonny says with Ric’s help, he’s going to find out where Jocelyn’s kidney came from.

Ava is concerned that Sonny will find out. Julian says he won’t and she’s not to tell anyone. Alexis comes in and Julian says she’s back pretty quick. She says a witness showed up and ID’d Carrrlos. She says it’s not over though, since the whole thing is suspect. Julian tells her Leo is upstairs and Alexis goes to check on him. Ava tells Julian to use the organization’s resources to get rid of Carrrlos.

Kiki asks Dillon who sent him and he says no one. He says he was concerned about her and just stopped by to visit. Kiki says she’s fine. He says since she’s okay, can she help him with his car? He let air out of one of the tires so his story would seem plausible. Enter Nina. Kiki says they’re going out for a while and don’t wait up. Nina asks where Franco is and Kiki says he never came home.

Jason asks Sam if she wants to go on an adventure with his bike on the open road. She says sure, and they leave. Someone is watching.

Jordan gives Hale her card. She says they’ll schedule a formal deposition with the DA. She tells him they’ll make it quick and painless, but it’s good practice if they go to trial. Hale is nervous about that, but she says the odds of it gong to trial are slim and Alexis will probably convince Carrrlos to take the deal.

Julian balks at killing an associate to save himself and Ava says it’s a cruel world. Julian says he’ll figure out another way.

Sonny says he wants to find out the truth for Carly. She thanks him.

Julian makes a phone call telling someone to take care of “it”

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Hayden to take the money and run, someone is stalking Sam and Jason, and Finn isn’t done yet at the hospital.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Joey hears a key in the lock and takes off for the back door with Faun. The door is locked, so she hides in his bedroom. Lushion is at the door and Joey pretends it’s just stuck. Lushion heads for the breadbox, but it’s empty. He tells Joey he’s looking for a brown paper bag with a disk in it.

Lushion calls Natalie, but gets voicemail. He tells Joey he needs help to find it and Joey wonders what a disk looks like. Natalie calls back and tells him to look in the breadbox, but he tells her it’s not there. She says she’ll be right home.

Lushion rifles through the freezer. Natalie comes in and says it was in the breadbox, but maybe one of the kids moved it. She starts opening cupboards and drawers. She asks what’s on the disk and he says don’t worry about it. Natalie asks Joey to help look. She wants to look in his bedroom and he says he already looked. She says it was probably a half-assed look and tells him to go help Lushion while she double checks.

Natalie sees Faun’s shoe sticking out from under the bed and calls Lushion, who draws his gun. Faun pops out and apologizes. Natalie starts to say something to Joey, but Lushion says they really have to find the disk. She tells Faun to get out. Lushion asks Natalie if Pete told her what was on the disk, but she says no. He asks how she could forget about telling him and she says a lot has been going on and gives him a laundry list. He says he has to go back to the station and she says she’ll keep looking. He tells her it’s of the utmost importance. Natalie says she’ll go back to Alex’s and wake the kids and ask them if they know where it is.

Julius goes to Randal’s house. Randal asks how Julius’s dad is. Julius says he’s hanging in there. He asks Randal about Tilda. Julius says she told him he has a sister and asks if that’s true. Randal says he should talk to his father. Julius just wants to know if it’s the truth and Randal says yes, but he never met her. Julius asks who knows her and Randal says her mother.

Outside, Faun tells Joey she told him so. She says she has to go and Joey asks to come along because his mother is going to kill him. She says no. She asks about their relationship, but Joey is evasive. She says she thought they were dating exclusively. He hems and haws and she says she has to go.

Quan approaches Joey who tells him to get lost. Quan says he’s dead and Joey tells him to bring it and whatever. Quan says when Joey is dead, he’s going to “hit that,” meaning Faun. I can’t stand that phrase, but I’m supposed to hate Quan, so it’s working.

Natalie is still shaking everything down, looking for the disk. She asks Joey if he’s trying to get her fired again. He says he and Faun were just watching a movie. Natalie tells him not to bring Faun there again. She asks what it’s going to take for him to listen and says he has one more chance.

Julius visits his father in the hospital. Lawyer Sonny says they just gave him something to sleep and he’s out of it. Julius asks what the doctor said and Sonny says it’s probably a matter of weeks. Julius asks why he’s there and Sonny says the will. Julius wants to find out what’s in it, but that’s a no.

They talk in the hall and Sonny says Julius’s father wanted to change the will. Julius says he already knows about Tilda and asks what about him? Sonny says everything was left to them and nothing to him. Julius gets pretty mad and Sonny says he’s sorry. Julius asks if the papers are signed and Sonny tells him tomorrow. The elevator opens and Tilda pops out.

Julius tells her to leave. She tells him to move or she’ll move him. She says all Julius is doing is making his father sicker. She asks if he’s trying to kill his father and he leaves. Tilda tells Sonny they should get security and he’d better keep an eye on Julius.

Kelly and Esperanza check on Alex and the nameless baby. Alex says she can see his personality already. Kelly and Esperanza talk about how their kids are growing up too fast. Alex is worried that her son will start asking questions before she’s ready to answer them. Esperanza teases Kelly about Ramses. Kelly isn’t sure if he likes her like that, but Alex says she thinks he does. Kelly says she would be grateful for a good man in her life and it’s hard raising a boy as a single mom. Alex says she guesses she’ll find out. Kelly says she’s sorry, but Alex says don’t say that; she did this and she’ll work it out. Kelly says she’s proud of Alex, especially how she handled Randal and Brad. Kelly says they come around when they see you’ve stepped into your strength. Alex says she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her baby.

Esperanza asks what she’s going to do about Randal. Alex says he’s not going to take her child away from her and there’s no way she’ll let that happen. She says she has one option that she’d never consider unless he doesn’t stop. Kelly asks what, but she says she doesn’t want to think about it. Esperanza says it sounds like she’s thinking of something crazy. Alex says she’ll protect her child from anyone and she won’t let Randal take him away. She says the baby is her responsibility.

Kelly suggests she let Randal see the baby, but Alex says no way. Kelly thinks it might get Randal to drop the custody thing. Alex says Brad is the baby’s father, but Kelly says he has to want to be. Alex says she’s tired of being sorry and if these grown men can’t get past this and get in line, she’s going to have to show them what she’s made of. Kelly asks her to reconsider. She says she can’t stand Justice’s father, but she lets him see Justice because he’s his son. She tells her to just think about it, but Alex is firm in her no.

Brad has fallen asleep while he and Marcie were watching TV. He wakes up, wanting to cuddle and she says they shouldn’t, but they spoon. She says it feels good and he agrees. She asks him to let her go and he tells her to let herself be held. She says she’s not Alex and she knows he wishes it was Alex that he was holding. She suggests he go to her, but he says he can’t. She tells him it’s his ego. She says she’s telling him things he can’t tell himself, and they still have a chance once he gets past his anger. She says something happened before he came there and he seems different. Brad says Rusty did even worse things to Alex than he knew. He molested both of his daughters. He says it doesn’t excuse Alex, but it casts a new light on everything. He remembers her shutting down when he would touch her and how she cried the first time they made love.

He says sex became boring and short. Marcie says that explains a lot. He says sex with Marcie made him feel alive, and that he became angry about all he’d lost. Marcie says they can’t do that again and she regrets it. She tells him to go home to Alex and tell her what he just told Marcie. She tells him she’s going to bed and Brad says she’d better lock the door.

At the hospital, Tina tends to Pete. Eddie calls Ben who is sitting outside Pete’s room. Ben says Tina is still there and so is the camera. Eddie says he has it, because apparently he has nothing better to do than hang out at the hospital.

Eddie sees Andrew, who says he works there at night for extra money. Eddie says that’s not how to make extra money. Andrew says he wants in. Eddie says to come see him, but Andrew says he’s there now. Eddie says he doesn’t trust Andrew and that he’s not ready for Team Eddie. Bleh. Eddie leaves.

Julius gets in the elevator with Eddie and calls him “copper.” Really? In 2016? Julius tells him he heard he got shot and he needs to lay off the cocaine since he thinks he can take on the world. Eddie says Julius is just a punk ass wannabe when his father has all the reach. Eddie makes a yo momma comment. Again, in 2016? Julius says when his father is gone, he’s going to be the man, and when he comes for Eddie, it’s not going to be a drive-by. Julius tells him to look out for Quan.

Eddie asks who Quan is and Julius says Eddie took his money, really Eddie’s money. Julius says he’ll see him soon and gets off the elevator. Eddie ponders whatever is in his pea brain.

Julius goes to his father’s room. The guard says he’s resting and Julius says he brought his favorite candle. He asks if Tilda was there and asks what the guard knows about her. The guard blows him off. Julius says he’s next after his father dies and goes into the room

Julius picks up a pillow to smother his father. He puts the pillow over the old man’s face and the alarms go off.

Next time, Marcie asks Brad if he’s turned on, Kelly calls out Randal to his mother, Eddie smacks Ben and Randal’s mother talks to Alex.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Two

OMG — I don’t know if I can hear Munchhausen again without screaming and never stopping.

We backtrack a little, with LisaR accusing LVP of manipulating the Munchhausen situation. (Can you hear me, wracked with sobs?) Yolanda leaves. LisaR wants LVP to own it. Another phrase I’m growing weary of.

Erika goes into the dressing room with Yolanda, while LisaR keeps saying she did it, meaning she began the whole Munchhausen debacle. Erika comes back and says it was just a mild meltdown and Yolanda will BRB. LisaR says she woudn’t have brought up the word without LVP encouraging her to say it. She keeps saying LVP needs to own that phone call.

Yolanda returns. Andy asks who Yolanda believes. She says she wants to believe LVP, but she lost her compass. LVP says she was wrong to doubt Yolanda. Yolanda says LVP is very powerful and amazing, but she manipulates things sometimes to make a great show, and compassion for other people should come first. Andy stirs it by asking who she believes again.

LisaR says LVP talks around and around and it’s making her crazy. She gets up and leaves, but never stops talking and then walks back. Eileen chimes in with something about being true to yourself. Andy brings up LVP saying that Mohammad said nothing was wrong with the kids. Yolanda does say that Mohammad had told LVP the kids were fine, and says that LVP and Mohammad’s friendship was wrecked because of it. God help me. It’s not like she said she didn’t believe anything was wrong with the kids; she just repeated what Mohammad said.

Andy brings up Erika squealing to Yolanda. LisaR was somehow involved and Yolanda gives her a mini-lecture about people with Lyme disease. Yolanda starts to cry and the ladies rally around her. She says there was a lack of compassion, but if she only opened one heart, the sharing was worth it. During the break, LisaR tells Yolanda she hopes they can start over and she didn’t mean any harm. This girl has some kind of problem that I can’t exactly put my finger on. She doesn’t have a filter for sure, but she also seems to go whichever way the wind is blowing.

Kim Richards joins the group. Andy asks about Monte’s passing away. Kim says she lost the best friend she ever had. They go right into the estrangement with Kyle and we see flashbacks of the ladies talking about her throughout the season. Some of it is the unfiltered one’s opinion, which I’ve felt is over-the-top since she’s not related or even close friends with Kim.

Everyone gets all teary-eyed and Andy asks where Kim is in her recovery. Kim tells him it’s none of his business in a nice way and that it’s anonymous for a reason. Kim says she’s hard to love and Kyle says that’s not true, even when she didn’t like what Kim was doing, she loved her. Eileen wakes up and says she’s always wanted the best for Kim. Not to be left out, LisaR says her too.

Kim says her feelings were hurt and she felt like LisaR was attacking her. Andy stirs the pot some more by reminding LisaR of some of the things she said. LisaR says she was angry and she’s sorry about some of the words she used. Yolanda tells her she should be held accountable. LisaR says for what? She lost her sister to addiction and she understands it well. Yolanda asks why she wasn’t more sensitive then and LisaR says she’s just human.

Eileen brings up the party at her house a million years ago when Kim acted like a jerk. She says it’s not like they were looking for a problem. Kim says Eileen is always jumping in whenever there’s an issue with LisaR. Kim says this is reality, not a soap, and Eileen tells her not to be rude.

Andy says moving on, but stays on the topic, reminding Kyle of her being uncomfortable with what LisaR had to say about Kim. They talk about how Kathryn tried to defend Kim and shared her own tragedy. Kim thanks her and thanks Erika as well.

Andy brings up the shoplifting, but Kim says she can’t discuss a pending court case. He asks if that was her low point and she says when she took the first drink was her low point. The “enraged” word comes back to haunt LisaR, but she’s like, let’s move on. Andy tells her she’d said a lot of strong things throughout the season that she wants to sweep under the rug.

Andy asks if Kyle and Kim are still sweeping. Kyle says they’re starting fresh. LVP says sometimes it’s best not to rehash things. Yolanda says Kim does deserve to be loved and they all cheer her along on her journey. (Ugh! Another one of those buzzwords.) Applause from everyone. Exit Kim.

Andy asks if Kathryn ever gets mistaken for Aviva from the NYC Wives. None of us ever noticed it before, but she does look like Aviva. He asks how her hearing device is going and she’s thrilled with it.

I guess she’s not that exciting because Andy moves along to all the parties during the season. We flash back to all the fabulousness. Various details about the parties are discussed. Andy asks Kyle to define barbecue, which she says is basically having a dinner party outside. All of a sudden they’re discussing having a real barbecue. They talk about who looked most like a hooker at the Moulin Rouge party and Erika says she’s out since she looks like a hooker all the time. Ha-ha! I do like how self-depreciating she is.

Here we go. The time when LVP asked Eileen too many questions and didn’t know how to apologize. After seeing the flashbacks, Eileen says she feels vindicated. She says she tried to get resolution in a nice way and LVP was dismissive. She says LVP was condescending, she felt manipulated and doesn’t trust her. LVP doesn’t understand why Eileen didn’t bring it up at the time instead of waiting. Eileen says LVP wasn’t sincere in her apology. LVP says she honestly didn’t realize that Eileen was so hurt. Eileen says it’s like they’re on two different planets and she finds LVP manipulative.

Eileen had shared about being in an abusive relationship and she says she found LVP’s blog offensive, as LVP talked about having had an abusive boyfriend and seeing no purpose in reliving it. Andy asks LVP about the past relationship which happened pre-Ken when she was 19. Lisa tears up and says he hurt her once, but then doesn’t want to continue.

Next time, Kathryn and Erika call each other desperate, more name calling happens, apologies are made, and they use that word again.

April 10. 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & BH Reunion Round One

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina orders a martini in the biggest glass they have. Dillon walks into the bar. And no, that’s not the start of a joke.

Obrecht tells Finn there’s no more work for him there, so auf wiefershehen. He finishes that with so long, farewell, and good-by, referencing The Sound of Music. He’s about to leave when Carly sees him.

Paul and Anna are in cells across from one another.

Carrrlos tells Alexis he was offered a deal. She advises him to turn it down.

Julian tells Sonny that if he wanted to talk, he could have just asked. Sonny says he’s not there to talk and this is Julian’s last chance.

Dillon approaches Nina. He says he’s surprised to see her there and that he thought she and Franco were going on vacation. She says it’s not happening now, or probably ever. She says he has the right idea of just concentrating on work and that Crimson is her baby and will never disappoint her. She gets her martini and asks for a jumbo one for Dillon too. It really doesn’t look like that big of a glass. He should have given her a beer mug.

Kiki comes out because she heard a noise. Franco says sorry, he threw something. He tells Kiki that he had another fight with Nina and it was about her. Kiki says she can move out if they want. Franco says they’re at the point in their relationship when you misunderstand everything and it’s not her fault. Kiki says Nina really loves him.

Carly introduces Jocelyn to Finn. They talk about bearded lizards as she’d like one as a pet. Carly wanted an exam for Jocelyn, who has a rash, but both Griff and Brad are out to dinner. Finn says he’ll be glad to do it.

Sonny tells Julian that Carrrlos is going to spill the beans about him. He asks if Julian ordered Carrrlos to kill him too.

Alexis tells Carrrlos the deal isn’t in his best interest. He says it’s not in Julian’s best interest and sorry, he’s rejecting her offer of representation. He says he thinks he can handle signing a paper. She asks what protection he has if he does.

Paul tells Anna he can get them out of this mess if she joins forces with him. She asks why he acts like they’re allies. He says he doesn’t want her throwing her life away and she asks what his big interest is in her.

Mayor Lomax storms into the precinct, demanding why her DA is in jail. How much time does she have?

Finn examines Jocelyn. Carly says she had a kidney transplant when she was younger and she doesn’t want to take any chances. Finn asks if there are any other symptoms and Carly says she usually has a lot of energy, but she’s been sluggish lately.

Franco doesn’t want to go to work, but Kiki says she’ll be fine. He makes her promise to call if she needs anything. He leaves. She hears sirens and looks outside, telling herself it’s okay. She calls Morgan at the hospital. He’s not available, so she leaves a message to say she called. She keeps telling herself she’s okay and safe.

Nina is getting drunk and Dillon says she should slow down. She says she doesn’t have anyone to go home to, she’s free, childless and infertile. She suggests pulling an all-nighter at the office and sucks down the rest of her drink with a straw. She says they need to put their stone to the grindnose and tells the bartender the floor is uneven. Dillon helps her out the door and she keeps saying Crimson is her baby. He says he’ll drive her home.

Julian tells Sonny that Carrrlos was acting on his own. Sonny talks about Julian’s previous lies and how he’s doubtful. Julian says he didn’t even know Carrrlos was still in the country. Sonny says Carrrlos is going to finger him for Duke’s murder and he doesn’t want any backlash for Alexis or the rest of the family.

Alexis tells Carrrlos that the prosecution has the right to change its mind. He says it’s Julian they want and she says they want them both. She says Anna will want him even more.

Jordan tells Lomax that Paul was charged earlier. Lomax says she knows since she was his one phone call. Jordan explains about Sloane being the body pulled from the river and that Paul confessed to shooting him. Lomax asks if there’s a statement and Jordan says there’s a witness, Anna. Lomax says to give her a reason not to fire her right now.

Anna says Paul blackmailed her and let her think she killed Carrrlos. Paul asks why she wouldn’t want Carrrlos dead; it’s revenge for Duke and her hands are clean. She says she just wants justice now. She wants to know what the end game is and why he’s doing this. He says he’s in love with her.

Anna tells him that’s absurd. He asks why else he would have gone to such great lengths to protect her? He says that he admires her and she infuriates him in equal measure. She says there’s a significant difference between them — she owns up to her mistakes and he doesn’t.

Finn tells Carly that it’s Fifth disease, something that spreads around school every once in a while. He says it usually goes away on its own, and she’s no longer contageous, but she can be kept home from school for a few days.

Franco drops his papers everywhere and Obrecht asks if he’s throwing himself a parade. He says he’s throwing away his attempt at art therapy on himself.

Dillon gets Nina home and says he’ll make her some tea, since that’s what she drinks at the office. Nina tells him how sweet he is. She thanks him for being good to her. She says Franco doesn’t understand what she wants. She needs someone who understands and she needs him. She kisses him.

Alexis says the case is circumstantial and the state just doesn’t want a possible loss of the case. She says even if it’s a reduced sentence, one of Sonny’s people will kill Carrrlos from the inside. She says she wants to take it to trial and if she wins, he’ll be a free man.

Julian says he’s been out of the business for a while, and maybe Sonny resents that because he can’t do it. He says he’s living an upstanding life now and Sonny wants to take it away from him.

Franco tells Obrecht that he and Nina have been fighting for weeks. Obrecht says maybe they should go their separate ways. He says he loves Nina, but she wants a baby and has started to resent Kiki. Obrecht says maybe Nina needs a Kiki of her own.

Nina starts pulling Dillon’s clothes off. He asks where Franco is, and she says she doesn’t care. She passes out with his shirt under her and Kiki walks in.

Sonny says the only reason Julian is still living is because Danny needed his bone marrow, but Danny’s father is back now. He says if something happens to Carrrlos, an unfortunate accident or a disappearance, he’s holding Julian responsible. If Carrrlos dies, Julian dies.

Carrrlos says his baby needs him now, not years from now, and agrees to have Alexis represent him.

Jordan says they have DNA linking Sloane’s body to Paul. She asks Lomax for 24 hours, but Lomax says she’s not giving her another second. She says Jordan created a public relations nightmare and she wants Paul released immediately.

Anna says she has nothing but loathing for Paul and they have nothing in common. Lomax comes in and says obviously everything was a mistake. Paul leaves with her, telling Anna “ta-ta!”

Dillon tells Kiki not to get the wrong idea. She says don’t worry; she heard the whole thing. He tells Kiki how he found Nina at the bar. He hoists Nina onto hisshoulder and puts her to bed.

Franco says Nina can’t get pregnant and he doesn’t want kids. Obrecht says there are other ways to give her what she wants. She says perhaps Nina should volunteer her time. She gives some suggestions including knitting booties for Schnauzers. She says she doesn’t understand the obsession with putting animals in human clothing, but they do give you unconditional love.

Finn tells Carly that Jocelyn should be good as new in a couple of days. Obrecht comes by and wonders why Finn is still there. Carly explains that he examined Jocelyn, and Obrecht isn’t happy.

Alexis says not to tell anyone what they’ve discussed. Carrrlos tells her he never wanted to betray Julian and she says she’ll be in touch.

Carly tells Obrecht she asked Finn to examine her daughter. He tells her to go wait for the test results. Obrecht says he has no privileges to treat people there. He says anyone who would impede the health of a child is dangerous. She says he flaunted the rules and he’s the dangerous one. She tells him he’ll treat patients there over her dead body, and he gets a “hmm” look on his face.

Dillon suggests that Kiki have aspirin ready when Nina wakes up and hopes she doesn’t remember what happened. Kiki says she appreciates how kind he was to Nina. He says he hopes they didn’t disturb Kiki. She says she couldn’t sleep and he asks if she wants him to make tea for her, but she says no thanks. Morgan calls and Dillon leaves.

Max wonders if Julian will back off of Carrrlos. Sonny wants him watched around the clock since he’ll do anything to save his own ass.

Julian meets Alexis at the MetroCourt. He thanks her for taking the Carrrlos case. She says it would ruin their lives if Carrrlos exposed Julian.

Lomax says she has papers to sign. Jordan tells Paul there’s evidence out there against him and she’s going to find it.

Carrrlos ends up in the cell across from Anna.

Tomorrow, Anna has no sympathy for Carrrlos, Feliz finds out griff is Duke’s son, and more nookie for Sam and Jason.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ben is about to put something in Pete’s IV, when Nurse Tina calls Andrew. He tells her to go into Pete’s room and be cool about it. He says do it now or Pete is dead, adding to leave her phone on.

Eddie is in front of the door, but Tina says she has to check on Pete. Eddie tries to intimidate her, but she won’t have it and goes in anyway. She tells Ben she thought he worked outside, and when he says he does, she suggests he do that. Tina tells the other nurse to go get a camera to put on the patient, which is pretty disturbing to Ben. She asks him about the pain meds, but he says he kicked them.

Eddie calls Ben from like three feet away and Ben tells him Tina is putting a camera in the room. He also mentions her asking about the pain meds. Eddie tells him the nurse can tell he’s a junkie and she’s putting the camera in there to check on him, not Pete.

Tina calls Andrew and tells him about the camera idea. He says she’s brilliant and that’s why he loves her. Lushion asks what happened and Andrew says he just won a bet on a horse named Tina. Lushion calls Natalie, but she’s busy yapping with the girls.

Quan’s mother finds him on the corner and smacks him. Tilda asks if he’s doing drive-bys now. Quan says she can’t be rolling up on him and his boys and she pulls out a gun and shoots. The guys all disappear and she says they’re gone now. She says she taught him better and gave him the connections. Quan blames Julius. He says he owes Julius money and was forced into it. Tilda tells him if the cops find out it’s him, his ass is grass. She tells him if he does something that stupid again, he’s going to find himself on the wrong end of a drive-by. She also says she wants Joey dead.

Kelly checks on sleeping Alex and the baby. The other kids are sleeping too, and all is peaceful for the moment. She goes back downstairs and joins Natalie and Esperanza. Kelly says she’s going to sleep in Alex’s room. Esperanza asks if they’re safe. She says she can’t believe Brad called Alex’s parents and Kelly says they’re like something out of a 40s movie. She tells them about Alex smacking Randal around. Natalie says you never go after a mother’s child and they toast to that. Kelly tells them that Randal is suing for custody. She says that Marcie and Brad have moved in together, but it’s a roommate situation. Esperanza says what about catching them in the shed, but Kelly says she thinks that was a one-time thing. They agree the focus has to be on the baby.

Natalie and Esperanza want leave. Kelly says the good news is that she found a house for Natalie. Natalie says after all this, she wants to stay where she is. Kelly says it’s next door to her and doesn’t she want to live on their block? Sure, after all the drama that’s just happened. Kelly calls Ramses and asks if they can come by to see the house. Natalie thinks Kelly wants to see more than the house because of the way she’s smiling.

The girls go to look at the house. For women who were so worried about safety, they leave Alex alone sleeping with the kids. I love the houses on this block because they’re so colorful with gingerbread trim and look like play houses. Kelly introduces the girls to Ramses. Natalie says the house feels good. Natalie asks if she can bring Lushion by, and Kelly suggests she call him right now because they haven’t intruded on Ramses enough in the middle of the night. They go back to the house where Natalie left her phone. The girls get all giggly over Ramses, which is understandable.

When they get back, Esperanza and Natalie question Kelly about Ramses. Esperanza says she knows why Kelly was so excited to go over there. Kelly tells Natalie to call Lushion and they joke it’s because Kelly wants to go back. Esperanza asks if Kelly and Travis are done. I hope so, since he hasn’t been on the show since the first season. Natalie calls Lushion and leaves a message to call her back, explaining about the house.

Esperanza asks Kelly to tell them more about Ramses, and she gives them the condensed version. Natalie tells her to make him wait, no sex yet, and Kelly says geez, she just met him. Natalie adds she doesn’t want to go through what they did with Travis again. Kelly says sometimes they think they’re in love but it’s only a distraction to keep them from what God has for them. Kelly thinks Ramses might be the real thing, but Natalie says to take it slow.

Lushion calls back and Natalie asks him to come by to see the house. Esperanza says since no one is driving, let’s have more wine.

Quan and one of his cronies are watching Faun go to Joey’s house. Quan says they’re going to get the money from her and smoke Joey.

Faun suggests she and Joey go to a hotel, but he says his mother is gone until tomorrow. Faun doesn’t think it’s very romantic. She says she likes nicer things and he asks if it’s too ghetto. She says it’s not that, she thinks it’s not safe. She says she has money, but he says he doesn’t want that. They start making out. Maybe ghetto isn’t so bad after all.

Brad lounges on the couch and Marcie asks how long he’s staying up. He says he can’t sleep and she says neither can she. He says everything is reminding him of Alex. He says he was thinking about seeing his kids. Marcie says she’s glad she and Randal didn’t have any. He says he’d feel like a fool if he went back. Marcie says in some eyes, but the only thing that matters is what’s in his eyes. She adds that she still loves Randal, and remembers when things were good. She says she hates Alex, but Randal was a charmer. When he wants something, he won’t stop until he gets it. She says Alex was no match for him. She says once he set his sights on Alex, she was helpless.

Brad says she’s wrong. Alex is smart, cunning and manipulative, and knew exactly what she was doing. Marcie says she grew up with Virginia and Rusty, and Brad says she had to do whatever it took to distance herself and she’s strong and tough. Marcie says she hears him, but Randal has two masters degrees in psychology. She tells Brad about how he got murderers off and she wouldn’t underestimate him. He asks if she’s pushing him to go back. She says she needs help with the rent, but she wouldn’t blame him if he went back. She says she believes Alex is sorry. She says again that Alex is no match for Randal, but Brad doesn’t agree.

Brad asks what they’re going to do, just look at each other all night? Marcie suggests a movie. She says what about an action adventure film, since there’s no love story in that. Brad says he likes action. Hmm…

Lushion comes to Ramses’s house still in uniform, and Ramses asks why he’s there and what’s going on. Lushion realizes he’s the one selling the house and introduces himself. Lushion calls Natalie telling her he’s there. Lushion apologizes for the other night and says sorry about Ramses’s mom. He asks if Ramses told Natalie her mother died in the house. Ramses says no. Natalie comes out and they make small talk. Lushion suggests they could use Ramses on the force, but Natalie is like, if he stays we won’t have a house.

Ramses brings them in. Lushion says it’s really nice and Natalie says she thought he’d like it and it has three bedrooms. Lushion likes the size of the rooms. Ramses says he’s still waiting on the appraisal, but the market value is $210K. Really? The houses are cute, but not that cute. Lushion says let’s do this and he’ll call the bank tomorrow. If only it were that easy IRL.

Outside, Lushion tells Natalie he really likes the house. Lushion tells her he’s smart and ten steps ahead of Eddie, and when all is said and done, he’s coming out on top. He tells Natalie to trust him. She says it’s hard, but she will. Natalie says she loves him and he says he loves her too.

She tells him that Pete had been looking for him and left a disk for him. He asks where it is and she says in the breadbox. He says he’ll come by in the morning. She asks if everything is okay and he tells her yes, but on his way back to the squad car, he hopes the disk is still there.

Next week, Quan tells Joey he’s dead, Julius wants to know about the will, and Alex says she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her baby.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion – Part One

The first topic is LVP’s flying in the little horse. We quickly move on to Kathryn’s criticism of Eileen’s bags and the expensive sunglasses debacle from several seasons ago.

We flash back to both of Erika’s personalities. We also find out that Erika owns the same dress LVP is wearing tonight. There’s talk about both Erika and LVP being married to older men. Erika talks about how people called her a golddigger when she and Tom first got together. Erika was also married before and has a son on the LAPD.

They talk about Erika bringing her glam squad to Dubai and Erika teaches us her “pat the puss” dance step, which is originally a dance hall move from Jamaica. OMG – someone tweets about Erika being too old to be prancing around. She answers graciously, but no comment from me. Andy says she seems submissive to Tom, but she says she’s being respectful. She talks about not being Erika Jayne at home.

Andy congratulates Yolanda on her kids who are models like she’s the one walking the runway. Someone asks about Yolanda missing her old walk-in fridge, and she says it’s still sending her tweets.

Now the hard part. Yolanda’s marriage. We flash back to better times that were apparently not as idyllic as they seemed. Andy says what a shock it was to everyone and asks why the divorce decision was made. Yolanda says being so ill takes the life out of you as well as the caretaker. She says David didn’t change, she did, and this is the outcome. She and Kathryn talk about divorce as a loss of a best friend and everyone says how sorry they are. Andy asks about the public criticism of David and Yolanda makes excuses for him. Sorry, I think he should be criticized.

LVP asks if she was blindsided and we flash back to an emotional moment. Yolanda says it had nothing to do with it at the time. Yolanda says she didn’t really know until after the filming. She says she didn’t know it was the end of the road and had hoped to be completely well before dealing with the issues they had. She doesn’t want to publicly analyze the marriage. Andy asks if she blames the divorce on her illness. Yolanda says they probably would be together had she not gotten sick, but that’s life. He asks what their contact is now and she says they’re taking time to settle, which I take to mean no contact.

Everyone expresses how surprised they were. LVP says there were no signs. Andy rudely asks if Yolanda confided in Erika. Erika says she’s not talking about what they talked about. Yolanda says they can dissect everything now, but it does no good.

Here it comes. Andy asks Kyle if she thinks Yolanda’s marriage could have been affecting her health. False alarm. This gets glossed over and a short discussion about menopause ensues. Andy tries to bring it back by asking if Yolanda thinks she was depressed. She says because of the circumstances, but not clinically. He asks if she thinks she’ll get married again and she says no. I hear you.

It’s Kathryn’s turn next. We flash back to some of her scenes, including the Faye Resnick stuff. They talk about Donnie being the hottest husband and unseating Mauricio for that title. Kyle says a lot of the interviews upset Faye and it’s not the person she knows. Kathryn talks about how Faye drug her and her then husband into the OJ thing. Andy talks about the OJ movie and how it was on TV around the same time Faye was on the Wives. Kathryn is sticking to her feelings, while Kyle is all rainbows and unicorns about Faye. I’m sure she’s a great friend to Kyle, who met her after all that happened, but I always get the impression she thinks she’s better than everyone else with nothing to back that up.

More OJ, Faye and Marcus Allen talk. Kathryn’s comments about LisaR’s eating habits are brought up and there’s a small discussion. Then they talk about Kathryn’s father committing suicide and she starts to cry because her nephew just died of a heroin overdose. She says her family has gone through hard times, which seems like an understatement.

Okay, here it comes. Really this time. The Munchhausen thing. I thought if I heard that word one more time on this show, I was going to go out of my mind. We flash back and I still find it odd that no one focuses on how Yolanda started to feel better after she had her breast implants removed and the kids who have Lyme disease were breastfed. Hello? Is this thing on?

We start with LisaR’s problem with Yolanda’s Instagram posts and how her illness would ebb and flow. Kyle says nobody ever questioned that she had Lyme disease, but they thought something else must be going on. I can understand the good day, bad day thing though, and I think a lot of people don’t get that. Andy asks if LisaR still believes Yolanda used her illness to her advantage and she says that’s how she felt in that moment.

Yolanda says she has trust issues with friendships now. She says LisaR had no business coming out with the opinons she did without knowing her and what was going on. The breaking for commercial music starts and I think someone’s phone is going off. I can’t believe there are only a few more minutes to the show.

Yolanda asks LisaR what her basis was for being so outspoken. LisaR says her hairdresser had a friend with Munchhausen and suggested it might be Yolanda’s problem, but it was jut a conversation. Yolanda asks why make it public then. LisaR says at her birthday party, Harry said they need to support Yolanda whether she’s sick or not and LVP said there goes our storyline. She says she subsequently got a phone call from LVP, telling her to bring it up. LVP says she rarely calls LisaR and LisaR pulls out phone records. She says she brought it up because LVP told her to. Yolanda and Erika leave the set.

Next week, more of the same, Andy asks Yolanda who she believes, Kim joins the group, and Eileen doesn’t trust LVP.

April 12, 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & BH Wives Finale

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Valerie is late and literally runs into Lulu on her way out of the park. Dante comes walking in from the other side.

Nicholas says he has nothing to lose, and tells Jason to go ahead and threaten him.

Hayden tells Curtis the war with Nicholas is over and she won.

Jordan talks to Judge White, who tells her that there’s a warrant out for Anna’s arrest.

Anna tells Paul he deliberately held her back because he knows Sonny will kill Carrrlos. Paul asks where Sonny is right now.

Where Sonny is, is finding out that Carrrlos has replaced the padre. Sonny asks if it’s a trap or if Carrrlos just got lucky. Carrrlos says what difference does it make, since he’s dead either way.

Curtis asks how Hayden pulled off vanquishing the prince. Hayden says she couldn’t have done it without him and he’s glad his work is appreciated. She says she slept with an ice pick, which made her reevaluate things and give Nicholas an ultimatum. She says he’s signing the papers as they speak. Curtis says Nicholas strikes her as the type of dude that doesn’t give up easily. Hayden says she reminded him about Spencer and Laura, and that Spencer would grow up seeing his father and grandmother behind bars. Curtis asks if she has regrets and she says more than she can count.

Sam asks where Hayden is and Nicholas says don’t worry, she’s alive and well. Jason says he’s there to buy Nicholas’s shares of ELQ.

Anna tells Paul that if he thinks she’s going to tell him where Sonny is, he’s more deluded than she thought. He asks why she’s on a self-destructive path and why he has to constantly save her from herself.

Sonny asks if Carrrlos killed the padre. At first he says yes, since he’s going to hell anyway, why not go big or go home? He’s just playing with Sonny though. Sonny asks what Sabrrrina would think.

Awkward moment between Lulu, Dante and Valerie. Dante asks about graduation and Valerie says she just picked up her dress uniform. Valerie asks Lulu what she’s reading and Lulu tells her it’s a workbook for marriage counseling. More awkwardness.

Curtis tells Hayden he knows the feeling and asks what her biggest regret. She says it varies but right now it’s that everyone knows she’s Rachel Berlin, despite her best efforts to start over. He says when pay day comes, she’ll feel better. Curtis says she seems attached to Nicholas and Hayden says in the end, what’s done is done and nothing can change that.

Nicholas says the shares aren’t for sale and he’ll see Jason in court. Jason insists he wants to buy the whole 50%.

Paul tells Anna he’s always tried to work on her behalf, but she says he’s ultimately out for himself, although she’s impressed with his technique. Paul says it seems she’s stuck, and he’ll see what he can do from there and hangs up.

Jordan is about to knock at Paul’s door when he opens it. She asks what the blip is going on.

Franco tells Carly he’s going to check on Kiki. He says he knows what she did for Kiki on the pier and thanks her, although she wouldn’t have been there in the first place if it hadn’t been for Morgan. Carly says of all people, Franco should understand about mental illness. Franco says he just wants to protect Kiki from Morgan. Carly says Morgan isn’t a danger to her, but Franco begs to differ. She says he was just protecting his father. Franco asks what’s going on with Sonny.

Sonny asks if Sabrrrina and the baby are safe. Carrrlos says they’re in Puerto Rico, while he went off the grid where he wasn’t supposed to be found. Sonny says Carrrlos has nowhere to run. Carrrlos says fate brought him to the church and fate brought Sonny to him. Carrrlos makes fun of Sonny looking for him and says Sonny should have been dead a long time ago, and now he will be.

Valerie is about to leave, but Lulu stops her. She says they’ve all made horrible mistakes and when they run into each other, she doesn’t want those mistakes to be all that they see. She congratulates Valerie on the graduation and says she’ll make a good cop. Valerie thanks her and leaves.

Dante and Lulu read from the workbook. Lulu thinks it’s sweet that Dante is taking it seriously and he says he takes their relationship seriously.

Nicholas asks how many banks Jason robbed. He says he can’t possibly have enough money. Jason says he does and shows him a figure like they’re doing a real estate deal.

Curtis asks if Hayden wants him to go with her. She says too many people know what’s going on and Nicholas won’t try anything. She says she’s got good news and bad news. She doesn’t need his services any more, but once she gets the shares, she can pay him with a bonus.

Jordan tells Paul she got a call about a warrant for Anna’s arrest and asks what’s going on. He says he requested the warrant because Anna has lost her mind.

Anna starts wailing that she’s stranded and that she’s trying to save people and can’t. She pretends to cry, and when the guard gives her a hanky, she knocks him out.

Carrrlos says if Sonny had been smart, he would have stayed in the wheelchair, but instead he came looking for Carrrlos. Sonny says he bets Julian is disappointed, which gets Carrrlos pretty angry. Carrrlos makes him kneel in front of the Virgin Mary statue and tells him to pray. He wants to shoot Sonny just as he says “amen.”

Lulu tells Dante they’re supposed to tell the other person something about how they perceive them, and then perceived person is supposed to repeat it back to see if they understand one another. She says she feels that when Dante is in overprotective mode, he doesn’t always trust her.

Curtis tells Hayden that he likes her style and that if she stays in town, he hopes they could be friends. She says it’s the kindest thing anyone has said to her in a long time. They hug. Valerie, who is on her way into the restaurant, sees.

Nicholas says it’s a fraction of what the stock is worth. Jason says it’s more than he gave the Quartermaines. Nicholas says he’s not selling and Jason says he has no choice. If he doesn’t sell Jason the stock, Jason is going to the police with what he knows about Nicholas trying to kill Hayden. Wouldn’t this be a good way for Nicholas to get out of Hayden owning ELQ? What difference does the price make? It’s better than zero. Nicholas says they have a deal, but he wants it all in Spencer’s name.

Paul tells Jordan that Anna is chasing Carrrlos, and tells her what happened with Anna knocking him out. Jordan asks why she should believe him. He says the evidence will prove his story is true. She asks where Anna is now, but he says he doesn’t know.

Anna tells the unconscious guard that she’s sorry and leaves the plane.

Franco says he can tell Carly is hurt and apologizes for his part in that. He says he’s not sorry about Sonny though.

Sonny asks to say a last prayer. He talks about his sins and how he hasn’t always done the right thing. He says he knows he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, but he loves his family and hopes that means something. Carrrlos mocks him and says he sounds as pathetic and weak as Duke did. Obviously, this riles Sonny, and while Carrrlos is gloating, Sonny gets the gun from him and tells him it’s his turn to pray.

Sonny says when he thinks about Duke, in his heart he knows Carrrlos deserves to die. Carrrlos asks if he’s going to shoot him in a church in front of the Madonna. Sonny says that wasn’t the plan, but plans change.

Lulu and Dante attempt the exercise and she wonders how they got so out of sync. Lulu says they have to listen to each other more, so they can fix things before they get so far off track.

Hayden tells Curtis she could use a friend. She leaves and Valerie comes over to the table. He says he was just thinking about her. She says he could have fooled her and asks what’s up with Hayden.

Nicholas tells Sam he’ll never forgive her. She’s like, are you kidding after what you did to me and Danny? Nicholas says she would have been better off without Jason and there’s no good in him. He says Jason tried to kill him twice. I love how he acts like he’s some kind of good guy in all this. Jason says if Nicholas ever touches Sam again, he will kill him.

Dante gets closer and Lulu says the rules are no touching each other until they’re done working. I guess they must be done working, because they start kissing.

Curtis tells Valerie he’s allowed to have friends and Valerie is the only one he’s interested in. She was going to invite him to the graduation, but has doubts now. She says she’ll see him later. Huh?

Sam says Nicholas deserves to lose. She asks what Jason is planning on doing with the ELQ shares.

Hayden comes back and Nicholas says he sent the notary away. She says he has to sign the shares over and he doesn’t have a choice. Nicholas says it’s her that doesn’t have a choice because ELQ is no longer his to give her.

Jordan starts to call the CSU. She says they have to do a sweep. Paul says he thought she would want to keep it quiet for Anna’s sake. Jordan is like, really? He says he had the warrant issued because he wanted to protect Anna. He tells Jordan that she’s tried to kill Carrrlos before.

Sonny stands over Carrrlos with the gun. Anna comes in, distracting him. Carrrlos jumps up and a shot is heard.

Tomorrow, Morgan wants Carly off of his back, Kiki wants to go home, Andre wants to know what’s going on, and we want to know who got shot.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Marcie begs Brad not to open the summons. He does and Randal smiles crazy and nods his head. Brad moves toward Randal, but Louise and Marcie break it up.

Randal keeps laughing and saying he’s the boy’s father. He eggs Brad on and says it will make it easier for him and Alex. Like Alex even wants to be near him. Marcie drags Brad back toward the car.

Brad knocks on Kelly’s door. Alex begs her not to answer, but she asks Brad what he wants. Brad says to just open the door; he says he has something for Alex. Kelly tells him to leave it out front, but he says he has to give it to her himself. Kelly says the kids are there and they don’t need to see this. He keeps banging on the door and the kids come out of the bedroom.

Alex makes the kids go back into the room and lock the door. Kelly calls Ramses and asks him to come inside. He comes in the back door. Brad continues to bang on the door. Ramses answers and asks if they’re going to do this again. The kids see Brad and ask what’s going on.

Paisley asks if it’s about mommy having an affair and asks if they’re getting a divorce. Brad says yes. Peter says Brad told him he has to forgive people and this isn’t fair; they should just make up. Paisley wonders where they’ll go. Brad says he’ll still be close, but he doesn’t know where yet. Paisley pleads with him to stay.

Brad asks Kelly to help and she asks the kids to go back into the room with Justice because their parents need to talk. They give their dad a hug and go back in the bedroom, Paisley adding they’re not getting a divorce. Kelly tells Brad not to do this. He says he keeps getting pulled in.

Marcie tries to get Brad to leave, but he says he has to give something to Alex. He tells her to read it. She asks if he’s serving her and he says just read it. It’s a subpoena. Randal makes stupid faces in the background and Ramses pushes him off the property. Randal asks if Kelly finally got herself a man and insults her in general. She asks if he’s lost his mind and he screams for Alex.

Alex comes out in full attack mode and it’s pretty good. She whacks Randal all over the place and tells him if he plans on taking her child away, he better be in for one hell of a fight. She says she’s not doing this one more day; this is her son and she loves him. She tells Brad to go ahead and not forgive her and go ahead and have sex with Marcie or whoever he wants. She tells Randal if he keeps pushing her, she’ll show him how far a mother will go to protect her child. Randal says she can’t keep her from the baby and Alex says try her. Randal says he will. Marcie and Brad go back to the car and Alex goes inside.

Julius visits his father in the hospital. A woman is there and Julius asks who she is. His father tells her to tell him. She says she’s Tilda and she’s been with his father for 30 years. Julius acts clueless and says his father is married to his mother. Tilda says they’ve been secretly together. He asks how old she is and she says old enough. I honestly can’t believe he asked this, since she doesn’t look like a kid. Tilda says they’ve always loved each other and have a daughter a little older than Julius. Julius asks her to go outside, but his father says no. She tells Julius that Quan is also her son.

Tilda accuses Julius of having her son try to kill Eddie and shoot up the burger place. The old man says he tried to save the business for Julius, but he’s never listened. He starts getting excited and tells Julius not to disrespect Tilda. He says he swears he’ll leave everything to Tilda and his daughter and tells him to get out. He leaves and Tilda says she’s sorry.

When Tilda leaves, Julius gets in the elevator with her. He asks who the hell she is and she says his father just told him. He asks where his sister is and Tilda says she’d never tell him because he’s evil. He asks how his mother doesn’t know about this and she tells him to get out of her face. She says she’s the m-f of the year and get out of her face before she shows him.

Alex is sleeping. I’d be worn out too. Kelly tells the kids to keep it down. She apologizes to Ramses. He says he used to think his mother was stretching the truth about the drama there and Kelly tells him welcome to the neighborhood. She tells him thank you for everything and says how protective he was, and calls him a bad ass. He says it’s his military training. Kelly says he made her feel safe. Ramses says she should always feel safe.

Ramses asks what Randal was talking about when he asked Kelly if she’s buying another house she can’t afford for another man. Kelly tells him it’s a long story and says doesn’t he want to go and take a shower. He says she’s trying to change the subject. She tells him about Travis and how she thought they were getting married and bought the house in anticipation of that. She says the only thing he wanted to ask her is if they could be friends. Ramses says Travis didn’t know a good woman when he saw one.

Ramses says he knew guys like Travis in his unit and Kelly needs a man, not a boy. He leans in and Kelly thinks he’s going to kiss her, but he’s just getting his keys. He says he’d better go take that shower and he’ll talk to her tomorrow, but if she needs anything, he’s right next door. Good Lord, I wish they’d kiss already.

Ramses leaves and Alex comes out with the nameless baby. Kelly asks how long she’s been standing there and Alex says long enough. Kelly asks if she’s okay and Alex says she’s going home. Kelly thinks she should stay the night, but Alex says no. Kelly talks her into having a sleepover at her place with the girls. (How old are we?)

Nurse Tina talks to Andrew, the cop who’s worried about Pete. They know each other and he asks her to keep an eye on Pete. He says Ben is being sent over and she says he’s a drug addict and she can’t believe that’s who they’re sending. She tells Andrew about Ben’s stint in the hospital and how he was overdoing it with the painkillers. He asks that she really watch Pete, especially when Ben gets there. Tina says something is scaring him. Andrew says just watch Pete and call him later.

Natalie calls Lushion and leaves a message that she has something for him. She says she cleaned out some drawers and she’ll see him when he gets home. Esperanza calls and asks if she heard about the sleepover. Natalie asks how things are with Lushion and Eddie. Esperanza says she heard they’re going to be riding separately and Natalie says that’s good, isn’t it? Esperanza says she thinks it’s weird. Natalie says she’s worried about Lushion, but Esperanza tells her Lushion is smart and she shouldn’t worry. Natalie tells her to keep an eye on Claudia and that she was hitting on Lushion. Esperanza says she can’t stand Claudia and she’s trying to get her fired. Esperanza tells Natalie to buy a house and they’ll talk later at Alex’s.

Quan tries to kick some guys off of his corner. They won’t go and Quan says he’ll make a call to his people. Dude says he hears Quan has pissed off his people and he’s weak. He says he tried to kill Eddie and made a mess of things. He says if he catches Quan on his corner, he’s going to be Eddie’s bitch. Quan says we’ll see and leaves.

Esperanza tries to get information on Claudia, calling an old employer, but gets nowhere. She tells Lushion to call Natalie, and that they’re spending the night at Alex’s. She says she needs Lushion’s help with a problem. She says Claudia is doing a terrible job and she’s thinking of firing her. He says Claudia needs the job. Esperanza says she’s endangering people with her mistakes and she spoke to the people at her last job and they don’t know who she is. Lushion tries to defend her and Esperanza asks why and tells him what Natalie said. He says he’ll run Claudia’s file.

Lushion makes a phone call to a guy named Larry Lamont.

Loser Ben is guarding Pete. Eddie comes by and Ben says Pete is gong to pull through. Eddie says dead men tell no tales because he’s cliche like that. He gives Ben something to put in Pete’s IV since he can never do his own dirty work.

Just as Ben is about to mess with Pete’s IV, the nurse makes a phone call.

Next time, Julius tells Randal about his sister, Kelly tells the girls about Marcie and Brad moving in together and Natalie looks at a house.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle is having a party that she planned long before the Dubai trip. Both Lisas are coming, but they’re not speaking to one another.

LisaR says she feels sad about the trip. She meets a guy whose name I didn’t catch for lunch and they discuss her QVC line and a talk show she has lined up. Lisa says her mouth always gets her into trouble, but wants to make some money.

Erika is glad Yolanda didn’t come on the trip. She tells Yolanda about the Munchhausen discussion, and how LisaR called LisaV a liar.

Ken tells LisaV that LisaR is a stupid bitch. Lisa says she thought Ken liked her, but he says not if she’s attacking his wife. You go, Ken!

Eileen tells Vince all about it, but like the average husband, he doesn’t really listen.

Erika says she tends to believe LisaR. Yolanda says she’s seen a pattern in LisaV’s relationships and we flash back to scenes with Kyle, Brandi and Yolanda with LisaV. While of course LisaV can do no wrong in my eyes and I want her to adopt me, this seems unfair. Girlfriends, especially those with strong personalities, are going to have altercations and Brandi is no one’s friend, despite Yolanda’s delusion about that.

Kathryn tells Donnie about it and he actually acts interested.

LisaR says she wishes she could erase the whole thing. Ken tells LisaV that LisaR isn’t “the full ticket,” and don’t listen to that stupid cow. That is so British, I laugh.

Kyle is getting ready for the party. She says everyone in Beverly Hills is always trying to outdo each other with parties, but she just likes to do what she likes to do. Amen, sista. I’d outdo, but in my own way. It all looks wonderful and it’s a house none of the ladies have seen, except for Kim. We flash back to the argument they had there.

Faye is in attendance and Kim is coming. Kim looks a lot better than the last time we saw her. She has some freakin’ color and has gained a pound. Camille is also invited. I love her. She’s a true survivor. Yolanda makes an appearance too. Yolanda and Kim have a chat about their children. Yolanda says she hasn’t found her short hair groove yet, but I think she’s rocking it.

LisaR takes Yolanda aside. Why must everyone always have these confrontations in inappropriate places? Lisa tells her about how she’s butted heads with LisaV lately. She talks about how she had said Yolanda was more manipulative than LVP and she’s sorry for that. In her individual interview, Yolanda says sometimes sorry isn’t enough and LisaR needs to STFU occasionally. LisaR tells Yolanda how LisaV is the one who first suggested Yolanda wasn’t sick, which is a flat out lie and now she’s pissing me off.

LisaR tells Yolanda she can be mad at her, and Yolanda says she’s not going to waste what little energy she has on that. Ha-ha! LisaR didn’t get the attention she wanted with that one.

LisaV says Kim looks great and asks if she’s getting shagged. I don’t want to know.

Erika and Eileen join Yolanda and LisaR. Kathryn comes by and then Kyle. They talk about Gigi doing the Victoria’s Secret stuff. Yolanda decides to have a drink. She sees LisaV at the bar and they go to chat.

Yolanda asks LisaV if she started the Munchhausen’s thing and tells her what LisaR said. Good Lord, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. This has been the main topic for weeks, and throughout Dubai, no less. Yolanda says that Lisa was friends with Mohammad long before her and she wasn’t about to confide in Lisa. The other Lisa craps her pants from a distance. Hope she’s wearing those Depends tonight.

Faye and Kyle join Yolanda and LisaV. They talk about how much better Yolanda is. Erika says something about LisaV’s cuff bracelet, which has been totally distracting me. Kathryn talks to Erika about the pecking order and how she thinks LisaR had worshiped LisaV for that reason. Erika thinks Kathryn has drunk the Vanderpump Kool-Aid and is a spokesperson for the Vanderpump brand now. Now it’s getting even more ridiculous.

Ken talks to Kim. She says she’s living in a more secluded area and loves it.

Erika asks Yolanda about her conversation with LisaV. Yolanda says Lisa denied being the harbinger of Munchausen. Yolanda wants to go sit down and they all go inside. Kim joins them and in her individual interview, LisaR says, and I quote, “Are you kidding me? Why is Kim Richards here?” Is she really this stupid? Why do you think Kim is there? Could it be because it’s her sister’s party? Does Lisa really think that Kyle would prefer her to Kim? Is this enough questions? I’m not a huge fan of Kim’s, but I’m starting to think I’d invite her to a party before I’d invite LisaR. I’ve always liked Lisa too. This has been a bit of a disappointment.

Kim wants to talk to LisaR alone. She says it’s awkward and that the last time they met, it wasn’t the best. Kim says she heard Lisa was enraged that she had lunch with Yolanda. Lisa asks what Kim wants or needs from her. Kim says it sounds like she’s carrying something against her and she wants to know what it’s about. Lisa says it’s complicated, there were things she didn’t know about, and the way Kim chooses to live her life is her business. Lisa says she hopes Kim gets better. Kim says she is better. Lisa says Kim’s life has been complicated, but Kim says she doesn’t know anything about her life. After a little more nonsense, Kim walks away.

Kim tells Kyle that Lisa was attempting to make her feel like she needs help. Kyle thinks Lisa should move on. Kim decides to go home.

LisaR tells Eileen about the conversation. Eileen says nothing has gotten resolved and it’s weird. Lisa says she’s leaving next, but Yolanda beats her to the punch. Yolanda doesn’t want to waste her energy on petty stuff and I have to agree with her on that.

LisaV tells Faye sorry she was rude to her at the other events. Pretty much everyone is leaving at this point. Faye tells Kyle about Lisa’s apology. Kyle says she judges her friends on their best moments, not their worst moments, and it’s a miracle.

The ladies hear about Yolanda’s divorce. LisaV is shocked as she thought their marriage was as strong as hers and Ken’s. We flash back to various times with Yolanda and David. Lisa talks about how David really seemed to be in love with her. Kathryn says he seems like the type who always has to be doing something. Kyle says it’s in sickness and in health, and she doesn’t know if Yolanda’s sickness affected her marriage or vice versa. Kathryn suggests maybe it’s Yolanda who fell out of love, but Lisa shakes her head.

Yolanda says she needed a healing space separate from the home she shared with David, so she gets a new condo. Erika says it has good energy. Yolanda says it feels good to be in her own space. Erika asks if anyone has reached out. Yolanda says they all have, but she feels cautious with everyone except Erika. Yolanda says divorce is like a death and if you stop making each other happy, you shouldn’t be together. She says David was her best friend and she misses that. She tells Erika her best days are ahead though, and Erika says she deserves it.

LisaR and Eileen meet for lunch. Lisa says they don’t always agree, but they always have each other’s backs. They talk about the divorce. Lisa says they knew a lot about Yolanda’s sickness, but not what was going on with the marriage. Eileen says had she been in Yolanda’s place, she might have done the same. Eileen hopes now that it’s out in the open, Yolanda will feel better.

LisaR says she never meant to hurt Yolanda, but she thought there was something else going on. I say she’s making it up as she goes along. Eileen says all she can do is be supportive.

Kyle says she’s mended fences with LisaV and she’s happy with the way things are.

Everyone has new projects coming up and Yolanda feels the best she has in three years. She says one day she and David will be great friends because even though the marriage didn’t work out, she still has love for him.

It’s the finale and we end with Yolanda and David looking at the view of their lemon grove a few months earlier, which is sad.

There was no preview, but next up is part one of the reunion. I wait with bated breath.

April 5, 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & Good-by Dubai

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sam wonders why anyone would want Rachel Berlin dead, but Jason says maybe they were after Hayden.

Hayden thanks Curtis for walking her back home. He thinks it’s a bad idea for her to return to Windemere unless she has a death wish.

Elizabeth says this isn’t what Nicholas is and if he tries to murder Hayden again he could end up in prison and where will that leave Spencer?

Griff is playing sheriff opposite Emma’s doctor. Ha-ha! He says he has a serious case of hat head. Emma says she’s been a doctor for a long time, but it’s the worst she’s seen. She says she’s a doctor though, not a barber, but then says that was a line from Star Trek. Anna comes in and they tell her they’re playing cowboys and neurosurgeons. Sonny knocks at the door.

Michael meets Dante at the gym. Dante wants to know Sonny’s plans for Carrrlos.

Tracy comes to and Finn is there. He tells her she had another seizure and they’re waiting on test results. Dillon and Ned come in with some food, but Finn wants to see them out in the hall. Finn says it would appear they didn’t catch the infestation in time and Dillon asks if Tracy is dying.

Anna invites Sonny in. Emma says she has another cowboy hat, but Sonny says his wife thinks they don’t look good on him. She tells Griff he has a hat face and he’d also look good in a tutu, and Anna tells a story about Duke playing with her in a tutu. She says Finn is following in Duke’s footsteps and he’d be proud.

Michael acts clueless. Dante says he should have been a lawyer. Dante thinks Sonny knew already and told him. He asks Michael again what Sonny’s plans are.

Hayden says she just wants what’s hers. She says Nicholas owes her a nice life for the one he tried to take from her. Curtis says she got a second chance, so why tempt fate? Hayden is like, so what should I do? Waitress? She says she earned every penny she made when she was in finance. She tells him how Nicholas won’t honor the prenup. Curtis says money is like an addiction.

Sam says Hayden either doesn’t know where her father’s money is or doesn’t have access to it. Sam says she has to tell Nicholas about Hayden’s involvement with Tracy, and maybe he can put two and two together.

Elizabeth wants Nicholas to tell her what he’s going to do. He says he’s going home to Hayden and that’s all she needs to know. She gets a text from the hospital and has to leave.

Finn says Tracy isn’t responding as well as they’d like. Monica comes by and Finn explains that Tracy had a seizure because of water build up on the brain. Obrecht overhears and says they have to operate immediately.

Finn says he needs to look at the CAT scan, but if it shows what he thinks it will, surgery will be recommended. Elizabeth shows up and Monica tells her to get ready just in case. Paul comes by and Ned tells him to butt out and get lost. Dillon thinks Tracy might need more support and wants Paul to stay. Ned says to keep Paul away from him.

Finn sees the CAT scan and says they will have to operate. Dillon wants Griff and not Dr. Mays, but Finn says they should ask Tracy who she wants.

Sam and Jason come to Nicholas’s hotel room. Nicholas says he told Sam her services were no longer required, but she says she has information and asks if he wants to hear it.

Dante tells Michael that if Carrrlos turns up dead, Sonny will be the prime suspect. Michael tells him to ask Sonny about it, not him.

Emma goes upstairs to get her telescope. Anna says Sonny can trust Griff. Sonny says they have a location for Carrrlos. Griff says he guesses forgiveness is off the table and Sonny says justice comes first. Griff has to go back to the hospital.

Sonny tells Anna that Griff is a little judgmental with the kumbaya stuff. Anna says he’ll feel differently once Carrrlos is in custody. Sonny holds up a flash-drive.

Anna looks at the information on the computer and says Carrrlos must be on the run again. Anna asks if Sonny meant what he said about bringing Carrrlos to justice.

Sam tells Nicholas about Tracy saying Rachel was her secret weapon. She says it looks like they were working together to get ELQ. Nicholas says Hayden had been playing him all along. Sam sees that Nicholas is packing and asks if Hayden is gone now.

Hayden says she’s not addicted to money and that money junkies spend it like water and that’s not her. Curtis says why risk her life if not for the money. She says the money is a huge part of it, but it’s not for her. She wants to pay back her father’s investors. Curtis asks her if she’s rehearsing that speech for Nicholas. Hayden asks what’s in it for Curtis.

Finn says they’ve adjusted the medication to prevent another seizure and Tracy should be the one to make the decision about who is going to operate. Monica tells Dillon and Ned not to look frightened when they go into Tracy’s room. Finn says as things turned out, surgery is going to be required. She says she wants Griff to perform the surgery.

Anna and Emma come to the hospital.

Curtis says it’s always good to back a winner. Hayden says she’d hate to see his idea of rock bottom. He says she’s a survivor and he can’t wait to see how it turns out. He asks what she plans on doing when Nicholas gets home.

Nicholas says he’s going home because he loves Hayden and wants to save his marriage. He wants to find out what the reality of the situation is, and he’ll deal with it then. Sam says that’s crazy, but he says it’s his marriage. He thanks Sam for doing her job and asks her and Jason to leave.

Sonny, who apparently is completely fine now, comes into the gym and spars with Dante. He asks why Dante called him. Dante says he was wondering what Sonny’s plans are about Carrrlos.

Michael, with a really bad hairdo, shows up at the hospital and Ned explains Tracy needs surgery. Griff comes in and Obrecht tells him that Tracy wants him to perform the surgery.

Paul sees Anna and Emma. Anna tells Emma to go visiting. Paul says Emma seems to have adjusted well to her new life. Anna tells him she’s supposed to call Robin with an update, but she gave Robin her phone. Paul offers his.

Dante says he talked to Michael. Sonny says it’s not fair to talk to Michael about him, since he doesn’t involve the kids in the business. Dante tells Sonny if he finds Carrrlos, not to kill him.

Anna says she won’t be long. She pretends to have a bad connection so she can move away from him. When she gets out of sight, she takes a card out of the phone.

Sam tells Jason she should be glad Nicholas wants to wreck his own life, but Spencer deserves better. She thinks it’s crazy that he wants to stay married to Hayden. Jason says maybe Hayden has something on him.

Finn tells Griff that his record is very impressive, but he’ll be by his side for the operation. Monica asks Tracy how she’s doing. Tracy says Monica might think she’s going to live in the mansion by herself, but she’s sticking around until Alice has to carry them both upstairs.

Obrecht is concerned about Griff performing surgery on a major hospital donor. She says she has every confidence in him and Finn, but if it doesn’t go well, may God have mercy on their souls.

Elizabeth is going to be assisting. Because she knows Tracy, Griff asks if she’s going to be okay with it. Elizabeth says if it helps any, she and Tracy aren’t that close. Griff says he thinks people find their strength when things are at their worst.

Tracy is wheeled down the hall. Ned and Dillon are there, and Tracy says she wants eggs Benedict for breakfast. Ned suggests Cook sending over scrambled eggs and caviar. She says she’ll have both. Tracy tells Monica to keep her hands off her jewelry, but Monica says she’s not into costume pieces. Tracy says they haven’t seen the last of her and is wheeled into surgery.

Dante says he knows how Sonny works and that he wants to send a message. Dante suggests he not kill Carrrlos, but turn him over to the authorities. Dante hopes Sonny finds him first because if he shows up dead, Sonny will be blamed.

Nicholas goes home. Hayden says it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship, without secrets and illusion. He says remind him to get her a dictionary, so she can look up the meaning of friendship. She says they’re two people who love a challenge and they have a connection. He says not anymore and she amends it to attraction. Nicholas wonders what her plan is. She says she hopes he kept the receipt for her shooting since she’s still there. She says she had Alfred set another place for dinner. Curtis is going to be staying with them for a while. Nice move!

Sam says the only secret she can think of is Jason’s identity, which is obviously out. They talk about Hayden getting shot. They come to the conclusion that Hayden figured out that Nicholas was behind it.

Tomorrow, Jason says Nicholas is capable of anything, Alexis visits Parker, and Carly begs Sonny not to put himself in the line of fire.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Lushion introduces Claudia to Natalie. There’s an awkward moment and Claudia excuses herself. Natalie asks why Claudia was all up in Lushion’s face. He says he was just giving her some work tips. Natalie deletes Claudia’s number from Lushion’s phone, even though he says he was just about to do that.

Lushion asks Natalie if she’s satisfied and she says maybe. He asks what she’s doing there and she tells him she brought him a meal. He says last he remembers is her cursing him out and telling him to get lost. She says she cares about him and asks if he’s doing anything illegal. He says no and she asks where he got the money from. He says he saved it. Natalie doesn’t understand how he saved so much on his salary. Lushion says he earned the money, that’s all she needs to know and he’s not fighting about it. She says okay, but asks him to promise that no one will hurt her kids if he gets into trouble. He says as long as he’s breathing, no one will hurt her or the kids.

She asks about Eddie and Lushion says he shot him eight times. Natalie almost freaks, but Lushion says Eddie was wearing a vest. Natalie says he could have killed Eddie. Lushion says if Eddie had hurt her, he would have. She calls him an OG, but he says he just doesn’t like the people he loves messed with. Natalie gives him a new key to her place and they get flirty. I like Lushion. I’m glad Natalie got a clue. He’s like that mighty good man of song fame.

Alex is still at Kelly’s with the baby, who I hope they give a name to soon. Kelly tells Alex she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way and Alex says she does. Kelly says everyone messes up, and it’s time for her to move on. Alex says it’s difficult when you’ve caused so much pain. Kelly says it’s been months. She says Alex has lost herself and wonders when that happened.

Kelly says when she first met Alex, she was a happy, strong and filled with life, and she has to get herself back. Alex asks how. Kelly says don’t ask how, do something. Alex asks what. Kelly doesn’t know, but says Alex can’t just live life reactive and she needs to make another choice.

Jerkface Eddie asks Claudia how it’s going. He tells her if she ever needs anything, he’s right there. She says she does need something and asks how Pete is. Eddie says probably dead by now and apologizes for being abrupt. He asks if she knew Pete and she says not really. He tries to flirt, but Claudia isn’t having any. She says she knows he’s with Esperanza, but he says that was over a long time ago. He says they should go out sometime, but Claudia says Esperanza already hates her. He tries flirting again, but crosses the line and she says he’s bordering sexual harassment. Eddie says he has a lot of pull around the station and she should be nicer. He tries to give her his number and she won’t take it.

Esperanza comes in and tells Claudia she needs to clock out. She wants Eddie to leave her office, but he won’t. She tries to grill Claudia on some procedures, but Claudia is flummoxed. Esperanza asks Eddie to leave again and he does. Claudia stumbles over telling her about talking to Eddie. Esperanza says she doesn’t care, but she’s concerned about Claudia’s lack of knowledge considering her resume. She says maybe this isn’t the job for her, but Claudia says she needs it. Esperanza says she’d better start showing some promise then.

Steven tells the guys that it looks like Pete is going to make it. He says the captain wants an officer with him at all times and an officer volunteers. He says he worked at the hospital and knows Pete. Steven makes some crap up as to why he shouldn’t do it. Ben volunteers. Lushion does too, but Steven says they need him on the streets. Ben is given the 8 to 8 shift.

Lushion is left alone with the guy who first volunteered. The officer thinks something weird is going on and Ben shouldn’t be guarding Pete. He tells Lushion he can’t say anymore. He says you can’t trust anyone there, especially Eddie, and that’s all he’s going to say. Lushion says he can see he’s scared and the officer says Lushion should be too. He talks about all the rookies who have been killed and tells Lushion to watch his back. He says if someone doesn’t look out for Pete, he’ll be dead by morning because he knew something that pissed someone off.

Alex and Kelly’s kids get off the school bus and Kelly directs them to her place. Paisley says the baby is beautiful and asks how he got a tan. Kelly’s son, Justice, tries to interject, but she stops him and they leave the room. Alex says she did something really bad to their dad. Paisley says Peter told her already. Peter says he heard them fighting and that he knows Alex and Randal had an affair. Paisley asks if Alex kissed Randal and when Alex says yes, she asks why. Alex says it was wrong and she shouldn’t have done it. She tells the kids that she and Brad are getting a divorce. Peter gets upset and goes to do his homework with Justice. Paisley tells Alex she loves her. Paisley says it will be okay and Alex agrees.

Insane Randal comes home. Louise is making dinner and asks where he went. He says he had important business to take care of. Louise asks again where he was and he says he went to see his lawyers. She asks what they told him about the divorce. He says he went to a family attorney, not a divorce attorney. Louise asks what he’s up to. He says he wanted to know his legal rights to his child. He says it’s his only child and Alex won’t let him see the baby. Louise says he shouldn’t see the baby now because everything is already out of control. She says he did all of this on purpose. He’s a psychologist who was a straight A student, and he manipulated Alex and Marcie. She says there’s malicious intent in what he did and it was no accident that Alex got pregnant just so he could have a son. She says she never thought Randal could sink lower than his father. He brings up Marcie and Brad, but Louise won’t have it. He says okay, he started it, but he’s going to finish it too. The judge granted an emergency hearing and he’s getting his child. Louise leaves the room disgusted.

Marcie is unpacking at the new apartment when Brad arrives. It’s a pretty nice place. They talk about how small it is. Marcie asks if he’d like some wine, but he wants something stronger. She points him toward the liquor. They both agree they’ve had long days. Marcie doesn’t have a drink, probably because she’s still drunk from that bender she was on for weeks.

She says they’ll have to share a bathroom, but Brad says he’s not a slob. Brad wonders what will happen when Alex and Randal find out they’re roommates. Marcie says she doesn’t care and Brad says neither does he. Marcie says she’s not a great cook and Brad says he knows, he’s had her cooking, and offers her some lessons.

Brad asks how long they’re doing this. Marcie says as long as it takes to heal, breathe and move on. Marcie says she’s going to bed. Brad says it’s not even five, but she says she could sleep for fifteen hours. Brad asks if he can hold her because he needs to be held. They hug. Marcie says she wishes she could say yes, but she has to say no. Brad says he understands and she says they can’t do this again. She says she’s sorry she put him in this situation and that she came over to his yard with every intention of sleeping with him. She says she was never so vulnerable, depleted and drunk, and it can’t happen again. Brad says he gets it and understands.

Marcie says she’s sorry and Brad says him too. She asks why. He says sex with her was better than it ever was with Alex and she made him feel desired, alive and wanted. He says he’s going to bury himself in work, and Marcie says good. He realizes he left his computer back at the house, but Marcie doesn’t want him to drive after drinking. She says she’ll take him and she’ll wait in the car.

Louise is leaving. I don’t want Louise to leave. She’s one of my favorite characters and the voice of reason. Randal asks if there’s too much drama, but Louise says it’s him that’s too much. She gives him a hug, trying not to cry. She says it’s probably the last time she’s going to see him, that she can feel it, adding that it’s all too much. Randal says he’s fine. They see Marcie drive up with Brad.

Randal starts walking over to the car, and Louise tells him no and tries to stop him. Randal tries to hassle Marcier. He gets in her face and Louise drags him out of the car and pushes him back toward the house while he laughs like a lunatic.

A process server comes up to Brad and hands him the court order, saying he’s been served. Marcie tells him not to open it. I can’t figure out why Brad would be involved in this, since it’s Alex and Randal’s child. Randal does some more crazy laughing.

Next week, Eddie says dead men tell no tales, Brad tries to see Alex, Randal hassles Kelly, and Alex tells Randal he was the worst mistake of her life and she’ll show him how far a mother will go to protect her child. Alrighty then!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dubai, part two. The ladies get in a white Rolls to go shopping. LisaV wonders if LisaR is her friend and Kyle says at least she didn’t get slapped this time. Eileen, LisaR and Erika are in one car, with LisaV, Kyle and Kathryn in the other.

The go to the largest mall I’ve ever seen and get into chauffeured golf carts to go around to the stores. Kyle says she’s overwhelmed and wishes she was an octopus with eight credit cards. Erika says you can find things in Dubai that you can’t find in the states. I’ll have to take her word for it.

LisaV thinks Eileen and LisaR are ignoring her. Kyle is already freaking about their next adventure, going up in the world’s tallest building. Yep, it’s big. Olga, their guest ambassador, is escorting them to the 148th floor, three at a time. The elevator is very small.

Olga takes them to the observation deck. Yep, that’s high up. I went to the top of the World Trade Center years ago, and that was pretty high, but this thing is up in the clouds. Eileen says she feels like if she moves forward, she’ll plunge off. That’s a symptom of vertigo, Eileen. Kyle coaches LisaV as to how to apologize to Eileen, and she does. Eileen is good with it and they hug.

Yolanda gets together with Brandi and Kim for a picnic. Eww! I thought she was smarter than this. She says what you see with them is what you get. I agree with that, but I don’t like what I see. Brandi says blah, blah, blah about being promiscuous. Brandi is wearing a shirt that says “it’s not fun to be sober,” which is really nice considering Kim is an alcoholic. She gives Kim a shirt that says “medicated.” No comment.

Erika’s gay glam squad is doing Kathryn’s makeup. It’s her birthday. Kathryn says that if she could ask for one gift, it would be that everyone get along for the night. Amen, sista.

Yolanda says people aren’t about fixing things anymore and will toss you aside like an old shoe when you’re sick. Kim says it’s all about today and you shouldn’t look back. Yolanda says it’s been a rough year for all of them. Yolanda spills something on her bag and Brandi says lucky she’s rich, which is actually funny.

The ladies go out on a yacht for Kathryn’s birthday. LisaR says she’s never been on a yacht. Really? Even I’ve been on a yacht. It’s a beautiful night and they’re going to cruise the coastline. It’s absolutely gorgeous.

Eileen asks LisaR how she’s feeling. The ladies are in the same groups that they were in the cars. LisaV basically says she told Eileen what she wanted to hear. Eileen says Yolanda and LisaV have issues and she’s using LisaR to get to Yolanda. I dunno about that. LisaR thinks they hate each other and they’re pawns in the game. That’s definitely getting overly-dramatic.

Erika is like, is this a party or an oil painting? Kathryn gets a call from her mom, who she’s very close to. She tells her she’s the best mom in the world. Her mom has been struggling with memory loss, so the call is even more special. Everyone gets emotional. LisaR says her mother doesn’t call anymore due to a stroke years ago. LisaR and Eileen leave the table to discuss. Eileen says most of the time her mom doesn’t know her anymore. Sad emoji.

Kyle tells LisaV that nobody feels good when something happens like the altercation the night before. Eileen says she has sympathy for Lisa because she feels the need to control things. The ladies all get back together and there’s some swearing, which is illegal, but Erika says they’re on a boat for Pete’s sake.

They have dinner on the deck. Kyle says things are awkward and they can’t not talk, and they shouldn’t be dividing up into corners. LisaV says she doesn’t understand some of the things LisaR does, and it’s probably vice versa. LisaR says she thinks the problem is that LisaV is angry with Yolanda, going back to when Yolanda got nasty with Ken. LisaV says she felt protective the same way LisaR did with Harry in Amsterdam. In Kyle’s interview, she says that there are definitely issues between LisaV and Yolanda. LisaV says LisaR would feel the same way.

Eileen says LisaR’s feeling is that she was being set up with the Munchausens thing. LisaR says LisaV wanted her and Kyle to take the fall. I can’t believe they’re still belaboring this point. LisaV says she wouldn’t do that to Kyle. LisaR says that’s her reality and she’s sticking to it. She and Eileen keep trying to drag Kyle into it, while Kyle wants the floor to swallow her up. They go back and forth a million times. Kathryn thinks the whole thing is embarrassing. In her individual interview, Erika says it’s a leveraged relationship between Kyle and LisaV, not a friendship.

It just keeps going around and around. Eileen is annoyed because she thinks Kyle is pleasing LisaV to keep their friendship alive. Eileen leaves the table. Kyle tells LisaR she cares about LisaV and that’s the way it is. LisaR says that’s it then. Everyone leaves, and Kyle and LisaV are at the table alone.

Kyle says she loves LisaV who’s like a sister to her, but she’s been put in a bad position. She says she looks like an idiot. Eileen moves toward the table and Kathryn tells her to stay out of it. Kyle says she was covering LisaV’s ass. In her individual interview, LisaV says Kyle straddles the fence sometimes. Kyle asks her to just say that maybe she said something wrong, but LisaV isn’t okay with that.

Kyle says she’s copped to things she’s said about LisaV and she won’t tell a lie. Lisa says she’s not asking her to lie and Kyle says no, she’s asking Lisa not to. She tells Lisa she’s not telling the truth.

Kathryn says this is like two shades of batsh*t crazy. Ever over-the-top, LisaR says they’re all collateral damage in the game between LisaV and Yolanda. Please. This bunch should just drop it and move on.

Kyle ends up saying she doesn’t care and just wants to drop it. She tells LisaV not to say anymore. In her individual interview, Kyle says she’s disappointed and that Lisa always has to have the last word. That might be true, since every time Kyle says let’s drop it, Lisa continues to say she never said that.

Kyle goes to get the cake. Eileen says it’s a weird time to be bringing it out and Kyle says she doesn’t care. Kyle brings out the cake. Kathryn wishes for health and happiness, and asks everyone to be civil to one another. LisaV gives Kathryn a beautiful wallet.

The ladies meet for breakfast. LisaV and Kyle are getting ready together and gossiping. At the table, Kyle asks what everyone’s favorite part of the trip was. The view is popular and also the desert. Eileen says everything was bigger than life, including the drama. Erika thanks Kyle for her first girls trip. They toast.

Next week, the finale, Faye Resnick returns, LisaR calls out Yolanda for being manipulative, Kim and LisaR tangle, and Yolanda is getting divorced from that rotten cretin of a husband she is too good for.

March 29, 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & More Dubai

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy still talks to Jason like he’s her father. Dillon tells her she’s supposed to rest. Sam and Jason leave. Jason tells Sam that Tracy thinks he’s Edward. Sam explains that Rachel is really Hayden.

Elizabeth tells Hayden to go ahead and stay, humiliate herself even more. She says she can’t wait for Nicholas to throw her lying ass out.

Valerie tells Curtis she crawled through dirt and broke her favorite heels to help him put the Crimson issue together, and she wants her cut. He says not until she agrees to another date.

Jordan tells Andre that reports of Carrrlos being alive just surfaced on the Internet. Andre wonders how Anna feels about that.

Anna accuses Sonny of being the one to leak the story that Carrrlos is still alive. This makes no sense to me, since it wouldn’t benefit him in any way

Dillon comes out and asks Jason what Tracy was talking about. He also asks about Rachel Berlin. Sam tells him that she’s Richard Berlin’s daughter, may or may not have been involved in the greatest ponzi scheme of all time, and that’s who Hayden really is.

Hayden says something to Elizabeth about Lucky and Elizabeth tries to smack her again. Hayden says she’s calling the police and having Elizabeth arrested for assault. I tell her I’ll be a witness.

Andre says he has a group session soon and asks Jordan if she wants to grab a bite to eat. He sees Valerie and Curtis, and says maybe he should have a group session right there.

Sonny says it’s a lot easier to find Carrrlos if he thinks he’s in the clear. Anna says if Sonny didn’t do it, who did?

Ava tells Scotty that the organization is after her because she was working with Paul. Scotty asks what she was thinking and Ava asks if they have attorney-client privilege. She gives him some money as retainer and tells him about Paul having the flash drive and blackmailing her. Now her own people are threatening to kill her, and that’s why she needs Scotty. He asks what he can possibly do.

Anna asks who Sonny told about Carrrlos, but there’s no one who would talk. Ditto for Anna. Sonny says two people come to mind, Julian and Ava. Anna says as far as she knows, they don’t know Carrrlos is alive. She suggests it’s Paul

Ava asks Scotty to move in with her for protection.

Sam wonders how Hayden ended up involved with Tracy. Dillon says her health is his priority right now and goes back into her room. Dillon approaches with caution and Tracy asks why he’s talking to her like she’s a hamster. He asks if she knows who Jason is. She says yes, and she knows who’s President too. Dillon tells her she thought Jason was Edward.

Elizabeth tells her to go ahead, call the cops, and she’ll never see Nicholas again. Hayden says go to hell. Elizabeth says she’d rather hang out with Nicholas, who will no doubt need sympathy. Then she’s going to the cops with a Rachel sighting. Unless Hayden leaves and never sees Nicholas or Spencer again.

Valerie says Curtis has a few bucks, so why don’t they go somewhere better than the diner. He agrees. A masked gunman suddenly comes into Kelly’s. Jordan creates a distraction and Curtis subdues the gunman. They’re like a well-oiled machine and it’s obvious they’ve done this before.

Sonny wonders why Paul would make it public unless he wants Carrrlos dead. Anna said Carrrlos must have decided that he didn’t want to cooperate and was safer on the run. Paul in turn decided he’d be safer without Carrrlos on the loose, since Carrrlos knows too much. Sonny says there are ways to find out what Paul is up to and suggests tapping his phone and bugging his office. He says he wants to get justice for Duke and his son.

Ava says she trusts Scotty. She says he only asked for money in regard to the flash drive, so she knows what kind of man he is. He says he’s not a bodyguard, but she says even just the appearance of it will be good. He asks what’s in it for her and she says money, lots of it.

Tracy says the only real Quartermaines left are Dillon and Ned. Ned comes in asking if he just heard his name.

Hayden is packed and ready to go. She leaves Spencer a note and stops to sniff Nicholas’s sweater. She leaves Windimere and says good by, wonderful new life.

Elizabeth wastes no time in hunting down Nicholas and saying she wants to be there for him. They hug and I retch.

The police come and cart off the gunman. Curtis says it was like old times. Jordan says he loved the work and it’s too bad he blew it. Valerie asks Curtis what really happened when he and Jordan worked together. Curtis ignores the question, and says they can probably get a free meal out of Kelly’s, so maybe they can get it to-go and go back to his place. Hayden walks in, saying she has a flat tire.

Elizabeth tells Nicholas about her threat to Hayden and telling her to take a head start out. Nicholas says he wishes she hadn’t. He talked to Spencer and he’s crazy about her. He says he’s also not ready to let her go.

Tracy argues with Dillon about calling Ned. Ned asks if it would be better if he just wanted to see a medical oddity. She says a little, but the only reason he’s there must be that she’s dying. Ned says he just wants to be there for her. She says not acceptable. He changes it to being concerned about Dillon’s concern.

Jason says he needs to get back the company Nicholas stole. Sam asks why it’s important and he says he owes the Quartermaines that much.

Anna asks Sonny how he knows about Duke’s son and Sonny tells her how they met. She tells Sonny that she told Griff about Carrrlos and she started to get paranoid that he was digging for information. Sonny says Griff told him to forgive Duke’s killer and he seemed sincere. Anna asks if he’s going to follow Griff’s advice.

Sonny says he and Griff bonded over their faith, but the only reason he didn’t have Carrrlos eliminated was so he could testify against Julian. He says it could change if things don’t work out and Anna suggests they stay within the parameters of the law for now. She mentions that Sonny let Ava live, but he says that’s a long way from forgiveness.

Scotty gets his hotel bill and says if he doesn’t pay it, he’ll be evicted tomorrow. Ava asks what happened to the money from the custody case. He says he lost his entire life savings because he invested with Richard Berlin.

Hayden tells Curtis she’s glad he’s there. Andre tells Jordan she was impressive and she says stick with her, it’s always an adventure. He says he’d like just the two of them in a room. She says she makes a mean Coq au Vin. He says he’ll bring the wine.

Curtis asks if someone found out Hayden is Rachel Berlin. She’s surprised he knew all the time. He says he checked her out early on and “If I were in your stilettos I’d want to bounce too.” She says Nicholas must hate her now, but Curtis says not necessarily

Nicholas tells Elizabeth he went into the relationship with his eyes wide open, but it didn’t stop him from falling for Hayden, and he can’t just turn his feelings off. Ah-ha! to Elizabeth in Nelson voice.

Tracy tells Ned about sharing the local delicacies in Mexico with Larry and how she got sick. She says if the treatment wasn’t started early enough, it could kill her. She says she has a deathbed wish. Ned and Dillon protest, and she says she’s not planning to die, but just in case, get back the family legacy.

Jason says he won’t allow Hayden to steal the company. Sam says it sounds like he’s fighting for his family. He says like it or not, he’s one of them. Sam says she knows he doesn’t remember them, but his father and grandfather would be proud.

Sonny says it’s not his first instinct to forgive, it’s to get revenge, but sometimes that can be messy and expensive. Anna says it’s a practical solution then and Sonny says sometimes. Anna wonders if Duke ever learned that lesson. They talk about Duke and Sonny says he feels responsible for his death. Anna says Griff suggested she forgive herself and maybe Sonny should consider it too. Sonny says he appreciates it more than she knows.

Ava tells Scotty it’s not the perfect solution, but it will work. They both agree they could do worse and shake on it.

Hayden says it’s only a matter of time until the world descends on her and without Nicholas she has nothing left in Port Charles. Curtis says she has him. They’re friends and she can get what she wants if she plays her cards right.

Andre leaves for work and Valerie sits down with Jordan. She tells Jordan she likes Curtis and it’s obvious there’s more between them that Jordan didn’t tell her.

Curtis says he doesn’t know Rachel, but he thinks he knows Hayden and she’s not a quitter. He tells her to go back to the castle and be a queen. She says maybe he’s right.

Elizabeth says she’s not going back to Windimere tonight. Nicholas asks her to stay because he doesn’t want to be alone right now. Bleh

Ned and Dillon say they’ll help get ELQ back. Tracy says she knows it’s just a company, but it’s her history. She asks them both to stay because she doesn’t want to die alone.

Jason says ELQ isn’t just about money, it’s about family. Sam says the Quartermaines are lucky to have him. He says he’s lucky to have her. Well, neither one of them is really Lucky. BA DUM CHHH!

Tomorrow, Kiki wants to know where Morgan is, Carly asks Sonny what he’s going to do about Carrrlos, and Alexis reads Kristina’s journal.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Rusty hears Randal saying something about his and Alex’s son and runs over to his house. Louise tells Randal to get inside. Rusty asks what Randal is talking about and what the sign is on his lawn. Randal says his son is Rusty’s grandson. He adds he’ll do everything in his power to keep the baby and Alex away from Rusty’s backwater ass.

Rusty tells him to take the sign down. Randal laughs and says Rusty doesn’t want the world to know he has a little Black grandson. He says according to the state Rusty is from, one drop of African American blood makes him a “negro.” Rusty runs back to the house.

Rusty asks Alex’s mother where the baby is and she says Alex left with him. He asks if Randal is lying, but she avoids the question, telling him to calm down. He asks where the gun is and she says she left it at the house. He asks if the baby is Black and she says yes. He asks where Alex went, but her mother says she and Brad can’t find her. Rusty insists Alex must have been raped by Randal.

Brad tells him to get out. Rusty says to call the law because someone is going to die. He asks what kind of man Brad is to let Alex be raped. Brad says he’s losing patience. Rusty says he brought him there because he couldn’t be a man and handle things himself. Brad says Alex and Randal had an affair. He says it was a mistake to invite them and now he wants them to leave. Rusty asks where Alex is and Brad tells him to get out like a thousand times. Brad says Rusty is the only rapist there.

Brad starts to punch Rusty out and Alex’s mother draws a gun. She tells Brad to lay off and grabs Rusty. They leave. Apparently without taking their belongings.

Kelly pulls up at her house where Ramses is mowing the lawn. He says he thinks he heard a gunshot, but Kelly says not in this neighborhood. He says he thinks it came from Brad’s house. Kelly asks him if he’s sure. He says yes, and she starts toward Brad’s, but Ramses says he’ll go over.

Ramses knocks on Brad’s door and asks if everything is okay. Brad asks Kelly if she’s seen Alex. She says not since the hospital. Kelly says Ramses thought he heard a gunshot. Brad explains what happened and says Alex’s mother shot at him. I guess I’m the only one who didn’t hear this. Kelly tells him he shouldn’t have brought them there. He says his plan backfired and he knows he did wrong. Kelly tells him it’s gone way too far. He asks Kelly to let him know if she calls or if she sees Alex.

Ramses asks what that was all about and Kelly tells him drama she wants no part of. They go into Kelly’s house.

Marcie calls Brad. She says he doesn’t sound too good. She tells him she’s in the new place and asks if he’s still in. He says yes. She says she saw Rusty and that it couldn’t have gone well. Brad says it was like an explosion, but they’re gone now. She asks if he’s still in “the rage,” and he’s vague. He says he just has to pack a bag and then he’ll be over.

Esperanza calls Eddie, who is obviously having sex, even though thankfully we don’t see it. She asks when he’s coming back to work and if he gave her back her house keys. He says he did. She asks if he’s enjoying himself and if she’s any good. He pretends not to know what she’s talking about and says he’s at work. He says even if he did have a girl over, what difference would it make? She says because he’s in her house.

He acts like she’s nuts, but then she walks in and tells him to get out. The girl jets, but Eddie says it’s his house; he paid for it. Esperanza says do it again and see what happens, and then tells him again to get out. Ben comes in and Esperanza tells him Eddie is going to drag him down with him and tells them both to get out. That was actually pretty funny when she walked in.

Natalie tells Joey to take the trash out. Joey tells her she knows she’s wrong about Lushion. He says if he was a dirty cop, he would know. Joey says he’s not still hanging out with a bad crowd, but he’d know because he asked around. He says Eddie is dirty, but Lu is clean. He says he took her home approval out of the trash and she shouldn’t let anything keep her from her dreams.

Natalie looks at the approval letter. She leaves for work, telling Joey to feed his siblings when they get home from school.

Julius is in Randal’s office and asks Randal if he has information. Randal says he spoke to Julius’s father. Julius asks what this is about and if his father thinks he’s crazy. Randal says no, but Julius says he must since he’s having him talk to a shrink. Randal is so crazy, I always forget that’s his job. Randal says he thinks Julius is angry because his father wasn’t around much during Julius’s childhood. In true shrink fashion, he asks how that made Julius feel. Julius says like he wasn’t there. Randal asks if he felt lonely. Julius says when he was four, he killed a bird every day when his father didn’t come home, and the longest was a year. When his mother found out, she sent him to boarding school.

Again, Randal asks how that made him feel. Julius says angry and it made him do things he never thought he’d do. He started raping girls, following them home and sneaking in the windows. He says he got addicted to that and then to cocaine and mutilating animals. A budding serial killer. He says he also started cutting himself and shows Randal his wienie saying he circumcised himself. Seriously, this guy needs to be locked up.

Julius says he’s not crazy. Randal and his father are crazy. Randal says no one thinks that. Julius asks if he’s turned on. Randal says sorry, but that would be a no. Randal wants to talk about the birds, but Julius wants to talk about the rapes. He starts to cry and Randal asks what he’s feeling. He’s faking and says Randal and his father are a couple of idiots. He was lying and his mother was wonderful and always there, so he never felt neglected.

Julius says this is his father’s way of trying to keep him out of his will. He says Randal won’t see another day if he causes a problem. He asks if they’re done. Randal asks if he’d like them to be done and Julius says yes. He tells Randal to tell his father he’s fine and Randal says he will. Julius leaves. A-hole.

Kelly asks Ramses how much she owes him for mowing her lawn. He says dinner. He asks if she wants to do it and she’s like, what? but he means the mowing and dinner deal. Kelly says he’s not going to be there that long and she doesn’t want to get attached to him. He says it’s just dinner and she’s a gravity chick — she falls hard. She asks if he’s a player, since he has no wife and kids. Then she asks if he’s gay. He says yes, and she says she knew it. He says not really and why doesn’t she just say what she wants to say? Kelly asks why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He says he had a girl, but she left him because of the military; the time away was too much, and he’s been cautious ever since. He adds that she shouldn’t judge people, but she says she’s just curious. He says the best way for them to get their questions answered is dinner.

He says he might be there longer than she thinks, since he hasn’t heard from Marcie. Kelly says she has other realtors for him. He says he doesn’t think Marcie is doing well. She says there’s drama going on. They flirt a little.

They go out the back door and Alex is there with the baby. Ramses brings her inside.

Alex is crying and Kelly asks if Brad tried to hurt her. She says to please go get her other children. She says she’s sorry and Kelly asks her what’s happening. Alex says she heard a gunshot and asks if Brad is okay. Kelly says yes, and Alex tells her about her father. Kelly says Brad told Alex’s parents to leave.

There’s a knock at the door and Alex hides. It’s Brad. He says he can’t find Alex anywhere and if she sees Alex to tell her that he’s left and he’s not coming back. He asks Kelly to please help find her. The baby starts crying and Brad tries to force his way into the house, but Ramses subdues him. He tells Brad to relax and lets him up. He says he wants to talk to Alex and Ramses says she doesn’t want to talk to him. Brad calls out that her parents have gone and he’s sorry. He asks that she please talk to him.

Alex comes out with the baby and Brad apologizes ten times. He says he shouldn’t have brought her parents there and it was a mistake. He says he’s leaving and promises he won’t bother her. He tosses his keys on the table and says he’ll call about seeing the kids. Alex says nothing and just cries quietly. Brad says he’s sorry again and leaves.

At the station, Claudia sees Lushion. She says he looks stressed and asks if it’s getting to him. He says yes, and she says her too. She talks about all the rookies that have been killed and asks how Pete is. He says it’s too soon to tell. She says let’s get some beers. Lushion says that’s not a good idea. She says he can talk to her any time, but he says she should keep her distance. She ignores the warning and gives him her number. He says it’s not a good idea and Natalie, who has come up behind him, says she doesn’t think so either.

Next week, Alex’s other kids ask why the baby is tan, Brad says he wants Marcie, and Randal says he’s going to ruin Marcie’s life.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I just have to start by saying shame on these women. What most of us wouldn’t give to have a vacation like this, and they’re going to spend it arguing — about nonsense.

Kyle and LisaV go to a place where you can swim with sea lions. The suits are like diving suits and very hard to get into. Eileen and Erika go to an aquarium, and Kathryn and LisaR go to the spa. It would be hard to choose. Like the kid in Scrooge said, I can’t have none of ‘em, so I might as well like all of ‘em.

The sea lions are flipping all around and one comes up and they all pet it. Lisa just about goes out of her mind. They get sea lion kisses and she wants to take one home.

Eileen and Erika discuss LisaR’s feeling of being enraged in seeing Yolanda’s photo with Kim and Brandy. Erika says the word enraged is strong and I agree, but I think Lisa doesn’t really know the meaning of a lot of words.

LisaR is also discussing it with Kathryn, who says Yolanda feels judged.

Eileen and LisaR get together for coffee in Lisa’s room. The view is amazing and Lisa tells her about the spa day. Eileen says Erika doesn’t understand the enraged business. Eileen says she thinks Lisa really meant she was just upset. That was a nice way of saying what I did, she doesn’t use words properly.

Eileen brings up LisaV and that people are having a problem saying how they feel. They both have fabulous earrings on and it’s really taking my attention away. Lisa says she’s more open with Eileen because she feels safe with her, and she doesn’t get why she has to share her deepest feelings with everyone. Eileen says she isn’t as brave with a group and she retreats.

The ladies go out to the desert, passing the world’s tallest building. I can’t believe their as dressed up a they are. They pull over and some dude gives them head scarves. They get into a jeep and drive into the desert. Yikes! It’s like a roller coaster ride and I don’t think these girls are wearing seat belts.

They get to this spot that has a bunch of pillows where they sit and have juice drinks. A falconer is there to give them a demonstration with his falcon, Gizmo. LisaV asks if she can pet it and the guy says after he’s done eating. (The falcon, not the guy.) Everyone gets their picture taken holding the falcon. It does look pretty cool.

Next is an Arabian Nights Dinner. They go to an outdoor spot. There are camels hanging out and a henna lady. Kyle goes to get a tattoo. It’s a dry night — they don’t explain why — so they can’t have any alcohol. They’re given some drink that they love until they find out it has camel milk in it. Please. That’s as bad as my husband who loved moo shu pork until he found out it had mushrooms in it. A woman does some dancing and they join her.

The head waiter, or whatever he is, lists the menu. Everyone passes on the camel meat except for Kathryn. Yeah, I’d pass too, especially when there’s three of them sitting there. She says it’s gamey, but good. LisaV jokes that there’s only two camels now. LisaR brings up the Yolanda thing. Erika says she thought that was over and asks why Lisa was “enraged” by the picture. She asks if Lisa likes Yolanda. She says they need some time.

LisaR asks what Erika thinks of her. Erika says she likes her more than when she first met her because she has trust issues. Lisa asks if Erika judges people and Erika says no. Lisa says when she saw Erika’s video, she judged a book by it’s cover. Saying what I’m thinking, Erika says Lisa posed for Playboy — twice. Eileen thinks she’s avoiding talking about Yolanda. Lisa says she wishes Erika would open up more, but Erika says she doesn’t think so.

The head waiter brings out a hookah. Erika tells LisaR that she wishes she and Yolanda would be friends. Lisa says she feels that Yolanda’s illness keeps her from being honest. Everyone smokes. What the blip is a hookah anyway? I understand a water pipe, but don’t get this hookah stuff.

LisaR takes LisaV aside. She asks her about her asking why she didn’t bring Kyle up in regard to the Munchhausen thing. LisaV says she didn’t say that; she said she wondered why she hadn’t dragged them all into it. LisaR says no one is owning up to anything, but LisaV says she never said anything about Munchhausen. In her individual interview, LisaR says she realized LisaV was lying to her. I dunno. It’s not important enough for me to have actually retained the exact conversation, but the first time I heard Munchhausen, it was from LisaR.

The next day they go to the market downtown. They find some shoes that they recognize from Sex in the City and get excited. They try to barter, but none of them are very good at it. It’s Kathryn’s birthday the next day, so they talk about that. Kathryn tries on a caftan and there’s a roach on it, and she goes crazy. Obviously not a New Yorker. LisaR asks Eileen if they can talk later, since no one can let anything go. They go over their bargains on the way home. Erika gives Karhryn a birthday present. She says it’s not her real present, it’s her bs present. It’s a souvenir replica of the tallest building.

LisaR, Kathryn and Kyle have dinner while the others take a nap. Lisa has to bring up talking to LisaV and Munchhausen and bringing Kyle into it. Kyle says she already knew all about that. Kyle says she already over it with LisaV and she thinks that Lisa does care about her regardless. She doesn’t want to continue to rehash it because she’s enjoying their friendship.

LisaR says no one calls LisaV on anything. Kyle says she’s not as strong as everyone thinks. LisaR says it’s no excuse to lie.

LisaR tells Eileen about LisaV changing what she said. Eileen says it’s frustrating because no one backs her up on LisaV’s lack of accountability. Maybe it’s me, but I think this point is being belabored. LisaR tells Eileen about what Kyle told her. Eileen says she can’t believe Kyle knew LisaV tried to throw her under the bus. LisaR says that LisaV doesn’t like Yolanda and that’s why she tried to get her to talk about Yolanda. Again, I dunno about that, but why is this necessary on such an amazing vacation?

Erika tells her glam squad about the bug on Kathryn’s dress. Dubai realness at its finest. Kathryn comes by and thank God they don’t talk about anything deep.

They go to a private outdoor spot for dinner. I want to cry because I know another argument is coming. I guess it’s no longer dry time because the ladies all get a cocktail. LisaV isn’t there yet, so LisaR has to say how horrified she was to notice LisaV lying. Erika says that LisaR is living in the past and she wants to get to know her today.

LisaV and Kyle join the group. LisaV says she’s obviously being ignored. Kyle says they’re going to the mall tomorrow and gives them the rules. No swearing, no talking about sex, and dressing appropriately. Good luck with this and get the bail money ready.

Eileen prods LisaR to sh*t stir. LisaR tells LisaV she rewrote the truth. LisaR asks her why she told her to bring Kyle into the Munchhausen convo. LisaV says she didn’t say that. She says she told her that she was glad she didn’t involve all of them. Kyle says that LisaV told her she was glad LisaR didn’t bring her into it. Erika is like wtf? can we have a drink, ride a camel, anything but fight? What a concept.

Eileen gets involved. LisaR says the truth is the truth and she’s not the only one going down for this. Whatta gangsta. LisaR says that she became the scapegoat when LisaV and Kyle were already talking about Yolanda’s illness. But neither one of them ever did use the Munchhausen word. That was LisaR. Eileen gets a squeaky voice and says that she can’t believe Kyle thinks this is all okay and it’s just the way LisaV is. Kyle says maybe it seems weird, but she knows LisaV loves her. She says she loves LisaV and takes the good with the bad. Kyle starts to cry and says maybe it’s because she has bigger problems, but she doesn’t care. I don’t care because it’s unimportant nonsense.

LisaR says LisaV changed the story. Kathryn doesn’t think either one of them is lying. Eileen brings up the Hamptons. Geez. LisaV asks what it was that was so offensive. Eileen tells her that asking when her affair with Vince started was hurtful. She says Lisa only apologized for asking too many questions, even though Eileen wasn’t exactly specific at the time. She’d only said Lisa was prying. Eileen tells her just learn to say you’re sorry.

Kathryn thinks it’s a cultural difference and LisaV’s apology didn’t come with the warm fuzzies that Eileen wants. I tend to agree. In her individual interview, LisaR says she lost respect for LisaV. They both say they have respect for one another at the table, so what up wit dat, LisaR? LisaV says she’s had enough, but Kyle makes her stay.

LisaR says they’re not coming from a bad place, just being honest. LisaV says she doesn’t feel like she can say anything. LisaR says she’s not the victim. Erika says obviously LisaV isn’t going to give LisaR the response she wants, so why don’t they move on?

Next week, the girls visit the mall of my dreams, we get to see the tallest building, Yolanda has a picnic with Brandi and Kim, and there’s more arguing.

March 22, 2016 — GH, Dubai via Beverly Hills & Drama via Tyler Perry

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden is looking at the portrait of Helena when Nicholas comes in. She says there’s something about the portrait and he says the something is that it’s creepy.

Alexis has Jason and Sam sign the divorce papers.

Nina runs into Obrecht. Nina is quite exuberant, and Obrecht asks why she has blackbirds singing on her shoulder. Nina says she must mean bluebirds, but Obrecht says not in Germany, because bluebirds have weak songs and harsh calls. I laugh because Obrecht is the best. Nina has an appointment with Dr. Lee so she can get pregnant.

Tracy says the inmates are running the asylum and she’s leaving.

Silas who isn’t Silas arrives with his iguana. Elizabeth is startled to see him, but he introduces him as Dr. Hamilton Finn. He asks her to put his pet Roxie in a room that’s no less than 85 degrees, gives her crickets for feeding, and off he goes.

Griffin asks Monica how Tracy is doing. She says she called in a specialist, and there he is. Monica says she never noticed the striking resemblance between Dr. Finn and Silas. Really? Really?! She introduces him to Griffin and he tells Griffin to call him “Finn.” Finn asks to see Tracy, who is packing to leave.

Obrecht says that she thought Nina couldn’t have children and Nina says Britt might have been wrong. Obrecht tells her that Britt was an excellent doctor and Nina bring up Britt’s passing off Lulu’s baby as her own. Obrecht says it was only for three months and Nina says still, she’d like to double-check.

Franco calls Nina. He’s picking up take-out for Kiki, and he asks if Nina would like to have a picnic in her office afterward.

Sam and Jason make a coffee toast to Alexis’s success with Olivia’s case. Franco comes by and asks how Jake is and asks Jason what they’re going to do about the book.

Nicholas says the only reason he’s keeping the portrait is because Spencer loved his grandmother. Hayden says you can see into her soul, but Nicholas says she didn’t have one. He says he should be grateful all she left him was a meaningless painting. Hayden says maybe it’s not so meaningless.

Hayden says she sees a reflection in the teapot that she wants to take a closer look at. Nicholas gets a little weird and wants to move the painting elsewhere.

Jason asks what book and Franco tells him about the book Helena left to Elizabeth. Apparently, Jason knows nothing about it. Franco says not to worry; he’ll see Jake through it.

Nina explains her history to Dr. Lee and how Britt told her it would be nearly impossible to conceive a child. Dr. Lee says she agrees with the results, but Nina says she has reason to believe Britt might have made a mistake and wants a second opinion.

Tracy says Monica wins and she’ll listen to Finn. Finn starts to talk and Obrecht comes in. She says that half the staff thought they were seeing the ghost of Silas and Finn has no business being there. Monica says she called him in to treat Tracy, but Obrecht says she doesn’t run the hospital. She adds she’ll procure the necessary paperwork — maybe.

Jason is miffed that Elizabeth didn’t tell him about the book. Sam says she probably didn’t think of it in all the mess that Helena’s will created. Sam gets a call from Spinelli.

Hayden keeps looking at the portrait, but Nicholas tries to take her attention away from it. She asks if she should be concerned about how bothered he is over it. She asks if he wound’t feel better if he knew what Helena was trying to tell him. He says who knows what insanity she had planned and Hayden says that’s it. What’s it?

Finn says most American doctors don’t know how to look for the infestation. He says it’s a larvae infestation — worms. Ewww! Tracy laughs at first and then asks how they got there. Finn says unsanitary conditions and asks if she ate anything from a suspicious source. She says she should have known running into Ashton was a bad omen and asks how they treat it.

Franco brings the take-out for Kiki to the hospital and Obrecht asks if they should allow chaos to reign. Apparently take-out is not allowed. She says obviously he’s overcome his doubts about becoming a father because Nina was there for an appointment with Dr. Lee. Franco asks Obrecht to hold the take-out bag and goes to the elevator.

Nina tells Dr. Lee about losing her baby when she was in a coma. Dr. Lee says she can’t promise to give Nina the news she wants to hear, but they’ll do an exam. Franco walks in and asks Nina what the hell she’s doing.

Jason approaches Elizabeth about the book. He asks to see it.

Sam doesn’t recognize the person connected with the number she had Spinelli look up. Sam asks Alexis if a client has stopped using her services, if it’s all right for her to continue on her own. Alexis says that’s up to her. Alexis says she knows what it’s like to not be able to let something go. She says she’s still wondering about the dagger. She says sometimes you know you should throw something far away, but you can’t until you get the answers.

Hayden sees the reflection of a man in the teapot. She wonders what Helena wants Nicholas to know. Nicholas says Helena would disappear when he was a kid, but he couldn’t relax because he knew she’d be back. He says this is one last mind game and he refuses to play. He says Hayden should too, and he leaves for the office.

Jason looks at the book and says it’s definitely disturbing and should be kept from Jake. Elizabeth says it’s their only clue to what happened on the island. Jason tells her not to fall into Helena’s trap. Elizabeth says if Jake does well in therapy, they should consult the therapist and see if and when Jake should see it. Jason asks if the therapist is Franco.

Dr. Lee tells Franco to get out, but he asks for a minute with Nina. Nina says it’s okay. The doctor leaves and Franco tells Nina he doesn’t want a child. She asks what changed.

Finn says they have medication and if it doesn’t work, they have other options, but they should start Tracy on it right away. He says if it wasn’t for Griffin, her condition might have gone undiagnosed. Dillon asks if he can unpack her bags. She says yes, but get her food because Obrecht feeds her prisoners slop. Obrecht comes in and says until Finn gets privileges at the hospital, he can’t treat any patients, even Tracy. I get that we’re being set up for some kind of friction here, but um…Tracy could just leave if she wanted to and he could treat her elsewhere.

Elizabeth says she was talking about Jake’s doctor. Jason says he doesn’t like Franco working with Jake and it bothers him that he’s the one who told him about the book. Elizabeth says Franco found the book, but he’s right, she should have told him. She just wanted to pretend it didn’t exist for a while. Jason says it’s dangerous, and Elizabeth says that’s why they have to find out what it means. She says they need all the help they can get and Jake opens up to Franco.

Franco tells Nina that he literally lost a child and tells her about Leo. Nina says no harm, no foul. Franco says he doesn’t think he could handle being a parent. He wants to give her everything she wants, but he’d be a nervous wreck all the time with a child. He asks why the two of them can’t be enough for one another.

Nicholas sees Alexis and she asks if he’s recovered from the will reading. She asks what happened after she left and what Helena left for him.

Hayden studies the painting. The doorbell rings. It’s Sam. Hayden tells her Nicholas is out on business. Sam says she might be interested too, in a woman named Naomi Dreyfuss.

Elizabeth says it’s about Jake, not her or Jason. He likes Franco and she cares about doing what’s best for Jake. She says they’ll work on it togethere. Jason reluctantly agrees for Jake to continue art therapy with Franco.

Franco says he loves Nina and has a life he never thought possible. He says because of her, he’s a better person. He says the magazine is a runaway success and they’re flourishing. For the first time in his life, he can say that he’s happy. Nina says she is too. He says why trade it in for constant worry and potential heartache? She says okay, they’ll leave it as is. Franco says the’ll celebrate the Crimson triumph later. He leaves, but Nina looks pretty sad. The doctor comes back in and Nina tells her to go ahead with the examination.

Obrecht says she’s chief of staff and hers is the only opinion that matters. Tracy says without the Quartermaines there would be no hospital. Obrecht says it will take a week to go through what they need to do to give Finn privileges there. Monica says she should know rules at GH are made to be broken or bypassed. Obrecht says they’re leaving themselves open for a lawsuit. Tracy says she wants Dr. Finn and they all realize he’s gone.

Finn checks into the hotel with Roxie. He says they’re going to be happy there.

Nicholas tells Alexis about the portrait. She says burn it. He says it’s evidence of Helena’s narcissism. Alexis says there’s always more to the story when it comes to Helena.

Hayden says she doens’t know who Sam is talking about. Sam says she knows the name well, and does she want to talk about it. Hayden says she doesn’t and get the hell out. After Sam leaves, she studies the painting again.

Tomorrow, Kristina asks Sonny what he did, Laura looks for answers, and Tracy tells Obrecht to find Dr. Finn stat.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Yolanda is getting ready for her speech. She says she hasn’t done any Botox in several years and it’s interesting to see how your face changes. Yeah, it’s called getting older.

The event is pretty crowded. Kathryn says a gala in NYC is a big deal. Kyle is shocked that the event is so huge. David pretends to be a supportive husband to Yolanda on the red carpet. I sneeze and it sounds like “D-bag!”

Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter, who is a Lyme disease survivor, starts the speeches. Kyle feels badly about the whole Munchausen’s conversation when one of the speakers talks about people not believing she was sick because she doesn’t look sick. Gigi, who seems like a lovely young woman, introduces Yolanda.Yolanda says she doesn’t know if it’s heartbreaking or heartwarming. Probably a combination of both.

As Yolanda speaks, we flash back to various times she was sick and also conversations about it. Yolanda says they’re going to search the globe until an affordable cure is found. Erika says this closes the chapter on misunderstandings and it’s a shame LisaR couldn’t be there. Kyle is all upset and says she can’t deal. Kathryn says ignorance isn’t an excuse. Maybe so, but it’s a reason, so shut up and educate people instead of blowing them off.

Kyle talks to Yolanda about Bella and Anwar having the disease. Yolanda says Kyle gets it on a deeper level now. Okay, okay, we get it. Everyone has the feels.

LisaV had to go to London to renew her passport, and is hoping to relax a little before the trip to Dubai. Her son Max has been working hard, and she gives him a new car. Would she like to adopt an older child? Lisa says she tells her kids she loves them every day, but her parents weren’t like that. She chalks it up to being British. Giggy!

LisaR is packing for Dubai. Harry thinks she should just bring a pair of jeans, but she says she needs at least 10 outfits. Lisa says the rules are no cursing, no dressing inappropriately, and no using your middle finger. She’s worried about leaving the kids with Harry. Harry says women think guys are always irresponsible. Well…yeah.

Eileen is excited and terrified to go to Dubai. Eileen tells Vince about how you have to cover up. The girls all talk about who they’d want for cell-mates if they got arrested. Erika says maybe LisaV could spin a web they could capture the guards with. Ha-ha!

Erika says she needs to be both glamorous and appropriate. Her gay slam squad helps her pack. My Lord, I thought I packed a lot of unnecessary things when I go on a trip. Erika actually has a look-book to help figure out her outfits.

The trip is 14 hours from Atlanta. Kyle says she wants to go, she just doesn’t want to get there and I understand completely. Love traveling, hate the process. Everyone meets at LAX. They switch planes in Atlanta.

After the fastest 14 hour flight ever, we’re in Dubai. LisaV says she feels like she’s been around the world and back already. They divvy up the rooms in the limo. Erika is going to room with Kathryn and says she’s put their past squabbles behind them.

Yolanda’s house has sold. She’s nostalgic over times with the family there, but excited to be moving on. David starts to border on being an a-hole.

Atlantis, The Palm Dubai is the hotel. Eileen says it’s like an Arabian Las Vegas experience. It’s huge and glittery with a humongous blown glass sculpture in the lobby. Holy! Lisa and Kyle’s suite is nearly 10,000 square feet.

Brandy comes to visit Yolanda. Yolanda says she’s been consistent with her support and that she’s not fake. No, Yolanda, it’s called having no filter. Brandy talks about her date the previous night and says the guy had short arms. Please. She asks how Yolanda and David are doing? Yolanda is vague.

Yolanda talks to Brandy about LisaR’s offense at her going out to lunch with Brandy and Kim, and missing Erika’s party. Brandy makes snarky comments about LisaR, which Yolanda snickers at. Kind of hypocritical. Yolanda tells her that LisaR said she has Munchhausen’s syndrome. She did not. WTF? Yolanda has been hanging out with Brandy too long and is now making it up as she goes along.

I could totally move into Kyle and LisaV’s suite. The other rooms are nothing to sneeze at either. If I went there, I might never leave my room. Although I’m sure a night there costs about as much as my husband’s yearly salary. Just look away while I drool.

LisaV has her hair piled on top of her head and even though she’s wearing a caftan, she out Hepburns Audrey Hepburn.

Everyone is wearing clothing befitting the country except for Kathryn, who stands out like a sore thumb in a short leopard print dress. Kyle gives caftans to everyone, and Kathryn wisely changes into hers, looking a million times better. They sit down to a private dinner.

LisaV asks about New York. Kyle talks about Yolanda’s speech and how two of Yolanda’s kids have Lyme disease. Erika says it’s too bad LisaR couldn’t be there. It might have answered some questions for her. Lisa says she never doubted Yolanda was sick, but she’s used it as a shield. Erika says she thinks she’s doing all she can and why would she want to miss the Dubai trip? She doesn’t think Lisa is being fair. Lisa says it’s just her opinion, but Erika says she believes Yolanda is operating at the best level she can.

Eileen says that she doesn’t get what Lisa isn’t understanding. Lisa says she feels like she’s being held to a different standard by Yolanda. She also doesn’t get Yolanda’s friendship with Brandy, and how she seems to give Brandy allowances the rest of them aren’t given. I do get what she’s saying, basically that Yolanda is surrounding herself with yes men and using her illness to her advantage, but it is her business and what I don’t get is why it’s such a big deal. I’m not so sure I wouldn’t do the same thing in her shoes, although I certainly wouldn’t be friends with Brandy. Bleh.

LisaR says the picture of Yolanda out to lunch with Brandy and Kim enraged her, which is really the wrong word to use. She says she thinks that Yolanda should have saved her energy for Erika’s dinner. She says she wants to go to bed after having lunch with Brandy and Kim. Frankly, I would too. I think they would wear out Mother Teresa and she has the patience of a saint. BA DUM CHHH! Lisa asks how Erika felt about the dinner and we have to revisit that nonsense. I’m with Erika in that they should just have fun and not rehash old crap.

Kyle suggests looking at the view which is absolutely breathtaking.

Next time, the ladies go to the beach, on a safari, and smoke hookahs; a sea lion kisses LisaV; there’s a lot of arguing; and LisaV says she’s had enough.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Randal wants to go visit Alex and Louise tells him he’s not going over there. He says he’s not a child and she says quit acting like one. She asks if he used Marcie’s credit card and why would he do that. He says why would Marcie have sex with Brad, because those two things are exactly the same. Louise says he’s just like his father. Randal asks when she started taking Marcie’s side and Louise says when she realized Marcie was right.

He asks if Louise supports Marcie sleeping with Brad, and Louise is like, no, stupid, she was right to stand by your side while you were out acting the fool. Louis says Marcie stood by Randal the way she stood by Randal’s father.

She says she was at work in her flower store and a woman in a suit came in. She told Louise she was from child services and her earnings were going to be garnished to pay for her husband’s child. (Can they do that?) When she looked at the papers, she saw her friend’s name, who had told her the child was her ex’s. She tells Randal you reap what you sow.

Randal says he didn’t fall in love with Alex on purpose. Louise says that doesn’t make it right. He says it makes him human and she says no more human than Marcie. He says she did it on purpose to hurt him. Louise asks if it did and when he says yes, Louise says she succeeded and they’re even then. Randal says he’ll have the last word. Louise says he is just like his father. Randal says he’s nothing like his father, and Louise says this version is really close. She says he left her to raise Randal and his brother alone and ran off with her friend until he got cancer.

Randal says but then she took care of him. Louise says Randal and his brother hated her for it, but what was she supposed to do, let him die? Maybe Marcie should leave him die if the same thing happens to him. He says he loves Alex and says Louise is full on Marcie’s side now. Louise says yes, she is. Randal says Louise couldn’t stand her and Louise says she’s woman enough to admit when she’s wrong. She says Randal could never admit when he was wrong. She tells him to just admit it. He says he’s not wrong and I want to smack him. Louise says fine, but he’s still not going over there.

Esperanza gives Claudia an herbal drink to calm her nerves. Claudia asks if Pete is gong to be all right. Esperanza says she doesn’t know. Claudia asks how she deals with it and Esperanza says she tries not to fill herself with anxiety and just process the information as it comes. She suggests Claudia take the day off, but Claudia says she needs the money.

Claudia says when Pete saw Eddie talking to the captain, he freaked out. She says they also don’t put rookies on the south side. Esperanza says she should stop asking questions.

Faun tells her father that he should hire Natalie back, since the restaurant is out of control. She adds that Joey is a good guy. She says she plans on seeing him again. Her father says he’s telling her mother. She says her mother knows and she heard some stories about them when they were dating. Her father starts to walk away and Faun tells him Natalie has the right to sue him because he fired her for something that her son did. She tells him to let Natalie have her job back and this can be water under the bridge. He says okay, and tries to get her to stop seeing Joey, but that’s not going to happen.

Joey is waiting for her in the car. She tells him Natalie has her job back. Quan and his lackey are in a car watching them. Quan wants his dude to follow Faun and see what she does with the receipts from the restaurant.

Kelly drops by the station to see Lushion. Esperanza tells her he’s out on a call. Kelly says it’s really deserted and Esperanza tells her that’s how it is when a cop gets shot. Kelly says she wanted to find out what’s going on between Lushion and Natalie and tells her about the house situation. Esperanza says she’ll tell Lushion that Kelly stopped by.

Brad hunts throughout the neighborhood for Alex. He goes back to the house. Rusty goes outside for a smoke. Alex is behind one of the houses with the baby. Who seems like he’s light as a feather and it’s obvious she’s holding an empty blanket. Do these people learn nothing in acting class.?

At the scene of the shooting, Lushion asks Steven why Pete wasn’t wearing a vest. He says 16 rookies have died in five years. Stephen asks why he’s researching it. Lushion says it’s right there on the apartment wall. Stephen says let’s hope they don’t add to the wall. Lushion tries to get information out of him, and Stephen says he just does what he’s told. He adds that Lushion is’t his boss.

Ben makes up something for his statement. Stephen says they’ll finish it at the station. Ben babbles something at Lushion. Lushion grills him, but Lushion notices that what he’s saying isn’t consistent with him not having any injuries. Eddie, who acts like he’s the boss, tells Lushion to get in the car. Eddie tells Ben that if Pete sings, it will be his funeral.

Faun wants to talk to Natalie, but Joey thinks it’s a bad idea. Natalie asks him what he wants and Faun asks to talk to her. Natalie says she has nothing to say to Faun. Faun tells Joey to say he’s sorry and Joey tells Natalie he’s sorry for the second time. Natalie says she doesn’t believe Joey and he’s not moving back in with her. Faun tells Natalie she has her job back. She says she and Joey are just friends now and asks when Natalie is coming back to work. Natalie says she’ll be there the day after tomorrow because she’s not going to just come running when he calls. Faun leaves. Joey tells Natalie he has nowhere else to go. Natalie relents.

Randal goes to the hospital to visit Julius’s father, who says his son has lost his mind. He’s angry and he needs Randal’s help to get to the bottom of the angry. He says he wasn’t much of a father and he needs Randal to see him through. Randal says if he’ll listen and Julius’s father says he’ll talk to him. he says he’s going to make changes to his will and his son is going to be angry. He says if Randal helps his son, he’ll — but then he starts coughing and has to put the oxygen mask back on.

Julius sees Esperanza at the station. She tells him to leave her and her family at home. He says he has to tell her something and that he’s sorry. She says there’s nothing to say. He says she got him shot, so the least she can do is listen. She asks if he had Eddie shot, but Julius says it’s called karma. She tells him to stop coming there. Julius says he misses her, but Esperanza says she’s done with him and the likes of him. He tells her she’s sleeping with a dirty cop and that he’s stealing from Julius’s guys. He says Eddie is bringing women to her house. Esperanza tells him to leave. Julius says his father is in stage four and when he’s gone, oh man.

Louise asks Marcie if everything is okay. Marcie says she’s just packing to go. She tells Louise about Alex’s father being there and says she won’t have to kill her because Rusty will, and tells her about Rusty’s racism.

Louise comes downstairs and says Randal isn’t hearing her. Marcie is right behind her and says he can’t. She says he’s blinded by anger. She knows because she was too, up until now. She only talks to Louise, not to Randal, and says Louise is wasting her breath. Randal tries to be insulting. Louise says Randal just wants a fight, but Marcie says she has none left. Randal tries to get a rise out of Marcie. She says he’s like most men, he can dish it out, but he can’t take it. She says he can’t stand the thought of his woman with another man because he doesn’t think it’s possible. He thinks he can do whatever he want, and nothing will come back to haunt him.

Randal keeps trying to get Marcie to fight. She says she begged him to sign the divorce papers, and she signed them, so as far as she’s concerned, she’s divorced. She says she’s going somewhere where she can live her life. She doesn’t want to stay there any longer and miss the best years. Randal says she can’t afford to leave. Marcie says he tried to make sure of that with the credit card. He says, guilty and she tosses her cards on the floor and says have them all. He talks about the baby and Alex and Brad and keeps trying to anger her. Lousie tells him if he keeps it up, she’s going to increase his life insurance.

Randal continues to act like an asshat, but Marcie ignores it. He asks her to come meet his son and babbles stupidly while Louise tries to get him to go back inside. Marcie puts her stuff in the car and leaves. He says, “What’s the matter? You don’t want to meet me and Alex’s son?” Rusty hears him and asks what he said.

Next time, Eddie is going to drag Ben down with him, Randal tells Rusty about his affair with Alex because he has a death wish, Julius says his father thinks he’s crazy, and Alex’s mother draws a gun.

Important information — The Real Housewives of New York City begins April 6.

March 15, 2016 — GH, BH, Haves, Nots & Wrong Loving

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Such a great episode yesterday! It’s opened the door to so many new storylines. Leave it to Helena to stir the pot, even after death. And I don’t care if Nicholas buried her in the backyard, I still say she’ll never die. Her and Faison.

Ava is talking to an unconscious Kiki. She says Kiki always did the opposite of what Ava asked her to and says maybe she should tell Kiki to stay asleep.

Sonny visits Morgan in the hospital.

Valerie sees Dante. She somehow managed to make it to graduation. Dante tells her that he and Lulu are back together.

Laura ponders Helena’s key. She says if she were smart, she’d throw it into the harbor and forget about it. Nicholas asks if that’s what she’s going to do and she says, nope.

Julian is speaking on the phone, conferring with someone to sabotage the Crimson issue. Alexis comes into his office with the dagger.

Anna tells Griffin it’s because of Duke that he’s been following her. He asks how she knew. Did she have a baby with Duke she doesn’t know about? Hey, could happen. Remember Vicki on One Life to Live?

Ava tells Kiki she loves her. She says she doesn’t care if Kiki ever talks to her again, as long as she talks to someone.

Morgan says he doesn’t want to see Sonny or anyone.

Laura says no matter what, the key will come back to haunt her. Nicholas says that’s what Helena wants, for them to look over their shoulders for what’s coming next. Laura says she succeeded. Nicholas tells Hayden he hopes she didn’t change her mind about marrying him and she says of course not. They talk about ELQ and he says she’s the only one who can help defend him against a Quartermaine onslaught.

Dante says he knows Valerie is seeing someone too. She says the jury is still out. He says Jordan doesn’t seem like a fan. Valerie says Jordan told her Curtis used to be a coke addict.

Curtis calls Hayden and says it’s an emergency.

Julian takes the dagger from Alexis. She asks if Nina is there and he says he’s waiting to go over some stuff with her.

Griffin’s middle name is Hugh which is a Lavery family name. Anna asks if he’s related to Duke and he says yes. He’s Duke’s son.

Dante asks Valerie if she’s still going to see Curtis. She says maybe, and that everyone makes mistakes and she wouldn’t want to be measured by hers forever. She says she appreciates his concern but her personal life isn’t his business. He has a nerve too, considering he’s been no angel.

Hayden says she’s going out for a while and Nicholas should focus on Laura.

Alexis says she’s had a strange day. Julian says, obviously. She says the dagger has brought the memories of her mother’s murder back. Can I put in a request for flashbacks?

Sonny gives Morgan a tablet, so he can communicate with everyone. Morgan says why, he has nothing to say. He asks about Kiki and Sonny says she’s surrounded by people who will help her get better, like Morgan is. Morgan says he’ll never get better.

Ava calls the nurse in because Kiki said something. She goes nuts on the nurse and demands to see the doctor.

Anna asks if Duke knew about Griffin. He says he never met Duke, and his mother was deeply religious and it would upset her to talk about him. When she died, she left him a letter. It wasn’t a serious relationship, and Duke never knew she was pregnant, but by the time she caught up to him, he was already in love with Anna and she decided not to say anything. Anna feels badly that because of her, Griffin never knew his father and Duke didn’t know he had a son.

Anna says Griffin must hate her. He says no, She asks why he didn’t just approach her. He says he didn’t know how to and she’s the only one who can help him get to know his father. She tells him that Duke was the casualty of a mob war. They were going to leave town and start over, but before they could, he was ambushed. She says she’s doing everything she can to bring his killer to justice. Griffin has to go back to the hospital and leaves, forgetting the letter.

Julian says he can only imagine the trauma. Alexis says she repressed it and tried to kill Helena later, but that didn’t happen. She says she hates being a Cassadine. He says he can sympathize having grown up in the Jerome family, but he’s moved past it and they’re moving forward with their own family. Alexis says their demons are in the past.

Hayden asks Curtis what the emergency is. He’s found an apartment and needs a co-signer. She says she was in the middle of something important with her husband He says the husband that tried to kill her.

Laura thinks the key looks like it belongs to a piece of furniture.

Morgan says he doesn’t even have a reason to get out of bed. Sonny says it’s not forever and as soon as the doctors find the right meds combo, he can come home and live a normal life. Morgan is skeptical.

Ava tells Griffin that Kiki hasn’t woken up, but no one can tell her why she hasn’t woken up yet. Griffin says her vitals are better, but they don’t have an estimated time and any answer he gave her would be a guess. Ava says Kiki spoke again. Griffin says he’s going to examine her to see if there are any changes.

Alexis says Olivia’s hearing is tomorrow and she’s going to have to work on the case all night. Julian says he knows she has it all sewn up, but he knows she didn’t come there for moral support, so whats’ up?

Valerie says she looks forward to the day she and Dante can put everything behind them. She says when she first came to Port Charles, she was excited about having family, and she’ll always care about both Dante and Lulu.

Hayden says no negativity about Nicholas, he’s having a rough time having been cut out of Helena’s will. She co-signs and says she expects to be paid back in service’s rendered. Curtis drinks out of an empty coffee cup. Look, actors, if the director won’t tell you this, I will, because you keep making the same mistake. Even if it really has nothing in it, at least make it look like the cup is a little heavy. It’s called “acting.”

Nicholas asks Laura why she doesn’t get rid of the key and deny Helena any more of her emotional effort and time. She says whatever Helena has put into motion, the consequences are still waiting for her and even beyond the grave, Helena is still playing her twisted games.

Anna reads the letter. Griffin’s mother says she was very young and in love, and that Duke lived a life very different from her own. She says once Griffin was born, she realized she should track him down, but by then he was with Anna, and she saw right away they had a bond she didn’t want to interfere with. She says she missed him every day, but Griffin lessened the pain and she knew she’d never be alone.

Sonny says if he could take away Morgan’s pain, he would, but in a way he’s glad Morgan is feeling it. That means he’s dealing with things. He promises Morgan it will pass and he’ll get through it. He says Morgan won’t go through it alone and he has a lot of people rooting for him. They’ll get through it together.

Griffin says there are indications of increased brain activity and he thinks Kiki will wake up soon. He says he knows Ava feels helpless, but surrounding Kiki with love and support is the best thing she can do. Ava says she’s not sure her presence comforts Kiki, since she hasn’t been so selfless in the past. Griffin says she doesn’t need to wonder what to do; she’s already doing it. Anna listens from outside the door.

Hayden leaves and Curtis sees Valerie. He says she’s just in time to help him celebrate getting his new apartment.

Anna gives Griffin the letter. He asks if she read it and Anna says yes. He says good, he didn’t want her to fault his mother for keeping him from Duke. Griffin says he’s not even sure if Duke would have wanted him. Anna says he would have, that he was a wonderful step-father. She tells him they tried to have their own child, but she lost it. and she was always sorry he didn’t have a child of his own. She says she’d like to give him a window for how Duke would have treated him.

Alexis wants press coverage of the hearing and Julian says he’ll provide it. She says they’re going to have every nursing mother within a 20 mile radius there. Julian hopes the mayor doesn’t have a heart attack.

Ava continues to talk to Kiki, saying she wishes she knew how to help. Kiki says “Morgan” again. Bleh.

Morgan says all he does it hurt people and even if he gets better, there’s nothing he can do for Kiki. Sonny’s phone rings and it’s Ava. She asks if he’s with Morgan. Ava tells Sonny that Kiki is showing signs of waking up and she’s asking for Morgan. She asks if Morgan can talk to Kiki. She thinks it might help.

Laura says Helena loved games and wonders if she’s hidden something in plain site.

Hayden says that Nicholas didn’t end up with nothing; he still has the lovely portrait. Nicholas says don’t remind him. Hayden says let’s go upstairs

Curtis says maybe he and Valerie can have a second date if Jordan hasn’t scared her off.

Anna tells Griffin that Duke lives on in his son, a doctor and a man who saves lives. She says Duke would have been enormously proud of him.

Sonny tells Morgan if he wants to help Kiki, now’s the time. Morgan gets on the phone and Ava puts it by Kiki’s ear. She says his name again. He asks if it’s her and she wakes up. She asks if he’s okay and he says now that he can hear her voice, he’s good. He promises to come see her soon.

On the phone, Julian tells the saboteur that it’s done and it’s exactly what he wanted.

Tomorrow, the new Crimson issue is released, Alexis grills Molly about Kristina and Sonny grills Kristina about herself.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Yolanda is getting ready to make a speech at a Lyme’s disease event and calls husband David because she’s stuck about what to say. He pretends to be supportive. She’s also inviting all the ladies to the event in NYC.

Kathryn is getting a new device to help her hearing. She’s very excited, but my question is, do you really want to hear all this crap? She might be sorry as soon as she goes to the next dinner party. She says until you lose one, you don’t realize how much you rely on your senses. Truth! She also realizes she’s probably been hollering at people for some time now.

Being a cancer survivor, Camille is having an event to end women’s cancer at her home. I love Camille and think she really got the shaft from that jerk she was married to who shall remain nameless. Kelsey Grammer. Camille is also selling some jewelry for the cause and Kyle says sometimes the only way to get people to donate is to shop. And they do.

Yolanda has a new short haircut, but I don’t remember her hair not being short. LisaR is uncomfortable about seeing her again. She’s going to be working and won’t be able to come to Yolanda’s event. She says she never knows what she’s going to get with Yolanda and doesn’t really trust her. I don’t know if I’d go that far, but I think Yolanda lacks understanding about quite a bit for someone so well-traveled.

Yolanda says she’s almost become psychic in the past year and LisaR’s energy has hit her weird. Okay. She gives Lisa a hug. Lisa says she saw the Instagram of Yolanda, Kim and Brandy the same day Yolanda was supposed to go to Erika’s party. Yolanda says she only has so much energy, and she’s known the other girls longer. She says they’ve supported her more than the rest of them put together. Really? I find that hard to believe.

LisaR wants to talk it out, but Yolanda says they’ve already done that. Lisa says the picture made her angry. Yolanda says someone else posted the picture in the first place. Eileen thinks she’s missing the point and says it’s not about the picture. Lisa says it gave her a trust issue and Yolanda says she has a trust issue with Lisa and trust is earned over time. Lisa says she just doesn’t understand the choice. Erika interjects that it was okay with her. Lisa says she’s in a lose-lose situation. Yolanda says it’s really between her and Erika and none of Lisa’s business, which I have to agree with. Lisa says you can get away with anything when you’re sick, and I also have to agree that there are people who do that. Everyone decides it’s a work in progress. Yolanda is tired and leaves. Lisa feels that something isn’t quite honest.

Kathryn visits LisaV, who greets her at the door with new pup Schnookie. Ken joins them. Giggy! Lisa tells her about the dog meat festival in Yulan and comes to tears talking about it. She and Ken have organized a march to protest. I’m so with her on this, having kept up with the issue myself and signed online petitions. Kathryn says she’ll do what she can to help. Kathryn likes Lisa and has no clue what’s up with Erika.

Oooh! LisaV has those magenta highlights again in her individual interview.

The ladies meet for dinner at a gorgeous restaurant with tables outside and lanterns hanging from the trees. Mauricio gives a toast and thanks them for being involved in the Habitat for Humanity project.

Mauricio is just back from Dubai and Kyle wants to go on a girls trip there. It’s a 16-hour flight. Count me out. Eileen says she needs a day off and can’t go to the march. In her individual interview, she says it’s awkward because she knows LisaV knows what she said about her being manipulative. She brings up the topic and Lisa asks exactly what she means by that. LisaR says it’s not manipulation but taking someone in a direction. LisaV says LisaR often has a delayed reaction to things, which is true.

LisaR says that LisaV texted her about Yolanda’s bi-polar comment, wondering why she wasn’t upset by it. Kyle says LisaR tends to be a follower and LisaV is more like a leader. LisaR says she prefers to think of herself as a people pleaser. Kathryn says she’s turning her hearing aid down. Told you.

It’s time for the Yulan march. Giggy! LisaV isn’t interested in anything negative today and refuses to discuss any of the dinner stuff. She and Kyle make jokes about Lisa’s manipulative ways. Lisa says look at all the people she manipulated into marching. At first, the march goes in the wrong direction and they end up picketing a church instead of the embassy or whatever. Oops. Kyle is like, we’re yelling at the wrong people. They finally get to their destination and afterwards, Lisa invites everyone to PUMP for a drink.

StopYulanForever.org

Yolanda invited Brandi and Kim on the NYC trip. Too bad they can’t make it…not. Neither can the two Lisas. Kyle talks about Dubai again and invites the ladies. Yolanda thinks it would wear her out too much though.

LisaR and Eileen are luggage shopping. Eileen has trepidation about the Dubai trip. Eileen talks about LisaR feeling more secure around her when they’re alone, but not so much when LisaV is around. She talks about Kyle and LisaV deflecting the subject to LisaR being a follower. Lisa looks up scapegoat. LisaR says, so she got pissed about something, big f-ing deal. Eileen says she’d better watch herself in Dubai since you can get arrested for cursing. I’m definitely out.

The ladies discuss the altercation between Eileen and LsaV. Kathryn thinks it’s cultural; Erika thinks it’s a personality clash and that Lisa doesn’t think she has anything to apologize for. She did apologize anyway though, so I don’t get why it can’t be dropped already.

The girls go to a cocktail party at The Jewel Suite. It’s a suite decorated in jewels by some famous designer. Um…I’m not that impressed, since it kind of looks like a jewelry museum and not a place I’d want to stay in. Yolanda plays Frere Jacques on the piano. Erika says she’s not allowed to buy jewelry because that’s her husband’s department. If she sees something she likes, she sends a picture of it to his secretary to show him when he’s in a good mood. What?

They go outside and the view is phenomenal. David pretends to be a good husband, saying how glad he is Yolanda is out and blah-blah-blah who cares. Yolanda toasts everyone who took time out to come and teach her the true meaning of friendship. She thanks her husband for actions speaking louder than words. Just wait. He says they’re going to make lemonade out of lemons and I throw up.

Tom and David talk, and David sounds a little less optimistic.

Next week, a red carpet is walked, Yolanda makes her speech, the Dubai trip happens, Brandi makes an appearance and Yolanda gossips to her about LisaR (showing the rest of us how she practices what she preaches).
If Loving You Is Wrong

Alex’s mother wants to see the baby and Brad is all for that. Her mother takes a peek, and Brad calls Alex’s father over. Her mother says Rusty is watching the game and doesn’t need to see the baby. Brad keeps insisting because he’s such a d-bag. Alex and her mother take the baby upstairs.

I don’t know what game Rusty is watching, but it doesn’t look like any game I’ve ever seen, since they’re only showing the bleachers.

Alex’s mother asks what’s going on. Brad tells her about Alex having an affair with Randal. He tells her about the “It’s A Boy” sign. Alex’s mother asks her if she had a baby with the “colored man” next door. Brad tells her to answer and her mother tells him to shut up. Ha-ha! Alex finally says yes. Her mother suggests Randal must have raped her, but Alex says no. Her mother asks how it happened then. She doesn’t know? Geez, they are sheltered.

Brad chimes in with blah-blah-blah about what Alex did. Her mother says she needs to get rid of the baby by leaving him at the hospital. She says if her father sees the baby, he’ll die. Wouldn’t that be a plus? Alex tells her that there’s only one person who raped her and he wasn’t an African American. She says her father raped her from the time she was six until she went to college and her mother knew. Her mother says Alex is no better than she is. She tries to get to the baby and slaps Alex, giving her a bloody nose. Brad steps in and she slaps him too. He asks if that made her feel good. She says Alex’s father had bad experiences, including his father being killed by a “colored man.” I guess this excuses him being a rapist. She says they’re getting out of there before her father kills everyone in sight .

Man, I would just clean out the bank account and move as far away as possible. These people are all nuts.

Alex sneaks out the side door with the baby.

Pete is wounded and trying to call for help. The radio doesn’t work so he uses his cell phone to call 911. Claudette has Esperanza take it, but the call gets cut off. Esperanza tells Stephen that Pete’s been shot. Eddie calls Ben, and tells him to get Pete’s phone. Stephen pretends to be calling Pete on the radio. I hate everyone in this show tonight.

Eddie tells Ben to make sure Pete is dead. He tells him look out for cameras, since everyone takes videos of everyone. He says to call back when Pete takes his last breath.

Ben tells Pete help is coming and takes his phone. Pete tells him that Eddie is going to kill him too, and asks why he did this. Ben says an ambulance is coming, but Pete doesn’t believe him. He should conserve his energy and play dead. Ben struggles for a second and calls for an ambulance Good boy!

Lushion comes over to Natalie’s house. He asks if Eddie tazed her in front of the kids. she says yes and he ought to know since he’s out riding dirty with him. She gives him a paper with his old boss’s phone number in Virginia. She tells him the boss would have him back in a heartbeat and that he should go. She says Eddie is no good and Lushion needs to get away from him. Lushion says if she doesn’t want him around, he’ll leave. He already moved out of his old place, but he’ll find another one. He says it almost kills her to tell him “I love you.” He’s pissed at her going behind his back to call his old boss. She says she doesn’t trust him. The old boss said he left four years ago and she wonders what he’s been doing all that time and why he has so much money. Lushion asks if Natalie loves him. She says she does and she couldn’t take something happening to him. He tells her to let him take care of things, but he can’t let her know what’s going on. She says until he can, she doesn’t want to see him.

He tells her Eddie will never bother her again. She says she doesn’t know what’s going on with him and she’s done. Lushion leaves. Natalie is being an idiot. He’s the only decent man on this show.

Ah-ha, Eddie! Everyone is running around the station and Esperanza tells him to go away. Claudia asks how bad Pete is, and Esperanza says they don’t know yet. She tells Claudia they still have a job to do, and take a break to calm down. Claudia kinda likes Pete.

Randal shows up at the hospital and the nurse calls for security. The a-hole janitor tells Randall that Alex has been discharged because it’s really men who can’t keep their mouths shut.

Marcie gets home from work. The stupid sign is still on their lawn. Randal’s mom comes downstairs. Marcie says she found a place, but she won’t need Louise’s money. She’s found a roommate — Brad. She says he has nowhere to go either. Louise says she can’t do that and that Randal is sorry. Marcie says she knows Randal and he’s not sorry. She tells Marcie it’s not a good idea. It’s easy to get over someone when you can slip under someone.

Marcie gets a call. She says something about a store. Randal is trying to charge something on her card and she tells them put it through. He’s charging $3800 in baby clothes. She says again he’s not sorry and she’s done. Louise says she’ll talk to him, but Marcie says there’s no need.

Kelly calls Ramses. She asks if he’s thought of a price for his mom’s house. Kelly thinks she might have a buyer. She asks if he’ll be around later. When she hangs up with him, she calls Natalie. She tells Natalie she found a house for her and explains about Ramses’s mom passing away. Natalie says she can’t afford it, but Kelly says she and Lushion have already been approved. Natalie says she and Lushion aren’t together anymore, but she doesn’t want to talk about it right now. Kelly says she’s coming over. Natalie says she has to go out and will call her when she gets back.

Marcie starts to pack. Brad discovers Alex and the baby gone. Marcie calls to tell him about the apartment. He asks her how she got done with her anger and she says she just got tired. He says he thinks he went too far and tells her about Alex’s parents. He tells her about Alex’s father having raped her and how he found out. He asks why he’d want to defend her. Well, that’s a stupid question. I would hope anyone would defend any woman who was raped at six-years-old. Marcie says he still loves Alex and she still loves Randal. Brad says he wants off the emotional roller coaster and she says that’s why she’s leaving. She tells him about the baby clothes Randal charged. She says she’ll let him know when she gets the key to the new place. I dunno. Unless Randal turns out to have a brain tumor, I don’t really think Randal should be with anyone except a therapist.

Brad looks for Alex. He sees Ramses mowing the lawn and asks if he’s seen her. That’s a no.

Alex’s mother suggests they go home. Her father says he’s too tired to drive back and didn’t they come all this way to see the baby? Her mother says Alex is lying down and brings Rusty another beer. Hopefully laced with arsenic.

Brad goes to Randal’s house, but Louise says Alex isn’t there. He goes in the back to the infamous shed. Not there either. Louise tells him to get off the property. Ha-ha! He kicks the sign down. I had the feeling he was going to do that.

What is this game Alex’s father is watching that only shows the fans in the bleachers? He goes upstairs and Alex’s mother says she’s gone. She says Rusty doesn’t want to leave, but Brad says he’s got to go. She says he wants to see the baby and Brad says he’s never going to be around his children again. By the time his other kids get home, they’d better be gone or he’s going to throw their asses out. Alex’s mother says he invited them and they’re staying. Brad says we’ll see about that.

Randal gets home with all the baby stuff and puts the sign back up. He is so insane. As he’s unloading the bags, he does a little dance. He goes inside and his mom is waiting for him. He asks if she isn’t happy to be a grandmother and she tells him he’d better take all the stuff back to the store. She tells him he’s out of his mind. Thank you. He says he’s never been so happy. She says Marcie is miserable. He says he loves her and he loves Alex too. Yeah, he’s such a catch. Louise says if he goes over to Alex’s, Brad will kill him. He says he’ll go over when Brad’s at work. I say go now while Brad and Alex’s parents are there.

Next week, some new characters are introduced, Esperanza tells Eddie off and Randal is still crazy.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Warlock shows up in Candace’s apartment like he’s a real warlock. He cracks her one and asks what the hell is wrong with her. She says she’s trying to get his money. He says she told Benny not to go into business with him. She says she doesn’t want Benny to get hurt. War says her deadline moved up.

There’s a knock at the door. Candace yells come in and it’s Erica. She introduces them and Erica says they need to hurry. War asks Candace to walk him to the door and he whispers that she has 48 hours.

When Candace comes back in, she can tell something’s wrong with Erica. Erica insists it’s nothing, but she’s shaking. Erica says he didn’t recognize her. She says Jasmine was her sister. She says Jasmine didn’t give him the $700 she owed him and Candace knows what can happen. Is she going to tell the rest of us?

Erica says War isn’t playing and he doesn’t care. Erica says she’d just moved there when he met her and he barely looked at her. She gives Candace the paperwork for the tow yard and house. Candace says she bought it for Benny. Erica says she bought it, she can mortgage it. Candace takes the paperwork. Erica breaths another sigh of relief that War didn’t recognize her and tells Candace to clean up.

Candace tells Erica her son is coming. Erica says this is a bad idea and what if War comes back? Candace says she hasn’t seen him in years. Erica says her own kids are better off without her and Candace’s son has managed fine so far. Candace won’t listen to reason.

David accuses Jim of putting a hit out on Veronica and tells him to call it off. Jim acts clueless and David asks for her address. Jim is like, you don’t know where your wife lives? David says if he doesn’t tell him, he’ll testify against Jim. Jim says a bunch of weird stuff and David tells him to quit playing games. Jim says it’s too late. David tells him to call it off and Jim acts stupid again.

David gets out his cell phone. He says he’s calling his wife and if he finds out Veronica is dead, he’s coming in there and killing Jim. Jim acts all snarky.

Candace talks to Lloyd at the bank. The paperwork looks good. Lloyd goes over a few things and she asks how long it will take to get the money. He says 30 days (shouldn’t Candace and Erica have known that?). She asks if they can do it in two days, but he says no. She says okay, but still wants to go ahead. When she leaves, Lloyd makes a call to the jail. He wants to see Jim.

Kathryn busts into the DA’s office. Jennifer says she can’t speak to Kathryn. Kathryn tells her to call Wyatt and if he doesn’t answer, it means something is wrong. Jennifer calls and there’s no answer. Jennifer asks if Kathryn did something to him, and Kathryn says no, Jennifer did. Kathryn asks her why she doesn’t have children, then runs down a list of possible reasons. She knows that Jennifer has eggs on ice, a specimen in a fertility clinic in Washington. Jennifer asks who she thinks she is. Kathryn says someone who will do anything for someone she loves — her son. She says Jennifer gave Wyatt his inheritance, and Jennifer says she gave a witness funds to protect himself.

Kathryn tells Jennifer keep telling yourself that. She says Wyatt has a substance abuse problem. Jennifer says he passed a drug test and Kathryn throws a box with the cleansing kit Wyatt used at Jennifer. She says that’s how he passed. Kathryn says go ahead and go after her and Jim, but now she gave Wyatt unlimited access to drugs and she should be dead for that. She says the name Kathryn Cryer will haunt Jennifer and any progeny she has forever. Kathryn says she’s not a nice woman and Jennifer says it’s a federal offense to threaten the DA. Kathryn asks Jennifer to let her make it more clear, “Bitch, I will have you murdered in the streets.” Yep. That’s crystal clear. Jennifer tells her to leave the office. Kathryn says if her son dies, no place in the world will be safe for Jennifer, her family, or her fertilized eggs. Then Kathryn tells her to try and have a nice day, since it might be her last.

Jennifer leaves a message for Wyatt to call her back right away. She makes a call for someone to track the phone stat. She doesn’t look too well. Ha-ha!

Hanna goes to Candace’s and Benny answers the door. She pushes him out of the way. The little girl’s grandfather is there, along with the lawyer. He tells Hanna that Benny and Candace want him and his daughter in on the lawsuit. Hanna tries to kick the lawyer out and Candace says it’s her house. The grandfather says maybe it’s best they leave.

Hanna tells Candace she isn’t fooling anybody, and Benny isn’t suing anybody. Benny says Wyatt hit him and asks how long Hanna knew. Hanna says Kathryn paid all his medical bills. Candace goads her by saying she knew all along. Benny says he was left in the street for dead and he should be payed for his pain and suffering. Hanna says he got out of the hospital and got a free house and tow yard. He says Candace paid for it. Hanna tells her to tell Benny where she got the money. Hanna says Candace blackmailed Jim out of $7 million and he already got his settlement. Candace says Jim gave her the money.

Hanna gets on her knees and begs Candace to let her raise Quincy Jr. She says he needs a stable home and she can give him that. He needs church and he needs God and he needs a place to heal and she can give him that. Candace say s she’s let him be raised by strangers in foster care before she’d let that happen and funny how Hanna is on her knees because that’s how the house was paid for. Hanna slaps her, and she slaps Hanna back. They go at it, but Benny steps in between them.

Hanna asks what date is because she’s marking it as the day she gave up. She says she went to God on her knees for Candace, and His word for her was to stop. She says she was up all night long because God had told her to no longer pray for her daughter. She says Candace will now know what it’s like when shes no longer covered in prayer. Candace asks who’s covering Hanna in prayer. Hanna says the blood of Jesus. Candace asks her where she’s living again. Hanna tells her to keep it up.

This show is so freaking intense, I almost don’t breathe through the whole thing. Does Tyler Perry write and direct all of these? Holy! When does he sleep?

David gets a call. It’s someone with Veronica’s address. He runs out of the jail.

Wyatt is unconscious. His hangers-on can’t rouse him, so they all leave. Nice.

Lloyd visits Jim, who says he’s livin’ the dream. Lloyd says he might find it interesting that Candace came into the bank looking for a loan and seems desperate. Jim asks how much she wants. Lloyd says $2 million in two days. Jim says she needs collateral and Lloyd says she has it. but he told her no. Jim says to give her the loan asap, but he wants Lloyd to hide a 15-day balloon payment in the fine print, and if she doesn’t pay, Lloyd is to foreclose on everything.

Social worker Aliyah goes to Candace’s house and hands her an envelope. She says all she could get was 55K. Candace says she should beat her ass again. Aliyah tells her that her son is still at the hospital and asks if she should tell them Candace is coming. Candace tells her to get out. Bye, Felicia! er…Aliyah!

Jeffrey meets Candace outside her place and sees his mother sitting in her car. Veronica’s phone rings and she asks Maggie to meet her at her place in 15 minutes. Then she calls the police and says she just saw someone break into her neighbor’s house, giving them her address. She gets out of the car, gathers up Jeffrey, and goes up to Candace.

Veronica asks to come in. Candace says no. Veronica says it’s about Quincy. They all go inside.

Commercial break. I’m not sure if it’s a new show or a TV movie, but it looks good. Greenleaf, coming in June, from the writer of Six Feet Under, one of my all time favorite shows.

Veronica asks how Candace is doing and she says better than Veronica’s hair. What is up with these hair comments? I think her hair looks fine. Quite stylish in fact. She talks to Candace about her place and asks is this is where Jeffrey lives. He says yes. Veronica says Melissa has been waiting for him to come back to the house. Jeffrey says he’s not coming back. Veronica says yes he is and they have a wedding to plan. Candace says shouldn’t she be worried about a trial? Veronica says no, but they look worried. She asks if Jeffrey is worried about testifying against her. He says no. Veronica splashes whatever is in her water bottle all around and says she has something to show Candace.

Veronica says she wants Melissa and Jeffrey to move in with her before the wedding. Jeffrey is like, yeah, okay, and Veronica says good by and leaves. Candace asks Jeffrey what the liquid is. Poison? He says she’s not that stupid and Candace tells him turn off the lights. All the blood lights up. Jeffrey asks how Veronica knows and Candace says she obviously does.

Jennifer gets a call that Wyatt has checked into the hotel. She tells them to check the room. Security knocks on the door and they find Wyatt unconscious. No, dead. Or at least with no pulse.

Veronica pulls up to her house. The gunman is inside at the ready. She goes up to the door, making us think for a moment that she forgot, but she just unlocks it. A police car drives up and she introduces herself. She says she thought someone was in her neighbor’s backyard. The officer says he checked it out, but no one was there. Maggie drives up and Veronica tells her to go right in and that she’ll be there in a minute. She’s actually licking her lips.

Maggie opens the door. The gunman shoots.

The end. For this season anyway.

March 8, 2016 — GH, Haves, Nots & Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu and Dante are all lovey-dovey, with hearts popping out of their eyes and bluebirds flying around with ribbons in their mouths.

Anna talks to Robert about the Carrrlos trail being cold. While someone sneaks around her place, Paul rings the bell. He tells her they have a lot to discuss. She tells him she’s had the feeling that someone has been following her. That’s because someone has been. Carrrlos, maybe?

Jordan calls Andre. She has an ark to go with his Indiana Jones hat. He invites her over to the bar, but she has her hands full with work and asks for a rain check.

Elizabeth interrupts Nicholas’s perusal of The Great Gatsby. She says she knows the look on his face and he’s doomed.

Hayden wonders why Baxter is in Port Charles. I’d be wondering what he’s doing at the MetroCourt with Sam. He and Sam talk phony finances. Curtis runs into Hayden in the hallway and she blows him off and gets out of there. Sam says she has a family emergency and has to go. Baxter tells her to settle the tab because he’s a real d-bag.

Sam makes a call to the first number on Baxter’s contact list. When she says she’s a friend of Rachel’s, they hang up.

Curtis follows Hayden to the bar. He wonders why she looks shaken. He thinks she ran into someone she knew who she didn’t want to see.

Paul asks if Robert has made any progress in finding Carrrlos. Anna says Robert followed the trail to London and then, nothing. She says Carrrlos might be using it as a jumping off point and to establish new identities for him and Sabrrrina. Paul says they can now work openly and honestly with each other, and says his admiration for her grows each day. Anna isn’t having any, and says she wouldn’t trust Paul as far as she could throw him.

Dante says he wants to rebuild the relationship and stay together for the rest of their lives. Lulu says they can’t rush things and forget what happened. They need to stop blaming and start forgiving. Hmm… They start making out and it looks like they’re rushing something here.

Andre shows up at Jordan’s office with some food. He says the way things have been going, this might be their last meal together.

Anna says her view of Paul hasn’t changed. She says the only reason they’re still talking is that she needs him to capture Carrrlos. She says it doesn’t end until Julian is in a prison cell, and if they end up there too, so be it. He asks what if there’s another way?

Curtis tries to get Hayden to tell him what’s going on, but she says everything is fine. She was only shocked to see someone from another life. He says the past has a way of catching up. He asks if she’s in trouble.

Nicholas tells Elizabeth he’s happy with Hayden. Elizabeth says if he’s happy, she’s happy, like I believe it. She thanks him for his hospitality and tells him if it gets to be too much with the kids, to let her know. When she leaves, Nicholas gets a call from Sam.

Sam says Baxter pretended not to know Hayden. She tells him about calling the number he excused himself to call and how they hung up after she said she was a friend of Rachel’s. She says by the time she called back again, the number was disconnected. Um… I don’t think that can be done that fast, so let me pretend it was a throwaway cell number. Nicholas tells her to forget everything and drop the case.

For not rushing things, Dante and Lulu are getting pretty busy. Lulu suddenly puts on the brakes. She tells Dante she thought things had changed for her, but they haven’t.

Paul wants to give Carrrlos immunity in order to nail Julian. He says life isn’t always neat and tidy, and sometimes you have to make a mess to make things better, sounding a little like Edward Albee.

Hayden tells Curtis she’s not in trouble. He says she left the MetroCourt like someone was chasing her, and just downed two stiff drinks. He says he’s concerned about her and wants to help her free of charge. He asks if her husband knows about the past she’s running from.

Sam is shocked that Nicholas wants to close the book on Hayden. She says she knows Baxter is lying. She says what if Hayden’s in trouble and needs him to protect her. Nice try. Nicholas says thanks for the help, but we’re done. He hangs up and eavesdropper Elizabeth is standing there. Geez, if you can’t be alone at Windemere, where can you be alone?

Dante says he gets it. Lulu says she doesn’t want to beat up on him and knows he’s sorry. He says they should get rid of the bed and then the loft. He suggests they get a house with a swing set and herb garden. Lulu says if they’re moving forward, they have to be honest and she doesn’t want an herb garden. He says he wants them to have a king size bed that they pick out together. She says they’re not done healing and that they just got divorced. She says she’s not sure they can put things back together on their own; they need help

Andre talks about Morgan. Jordan says their lives are going to intersect that way. He says last time they met, she accused him of trying to analyze her and he was just trying to get to know her. She apologizes for over-reacting. She says her history with Curtis is difficult to talk about. Andre says it’s her call if and when she wants to talk about it. She says she did something she regrets and Curtis tried to intervene, but destroyed people’s lives instead. I’m definitely intrigued.

Sam bumps into Hayden. She asks if Hayden is meeting Nicholas. Hayden says she had a business meeting, but missed it. She asks why Sam is there and all dressed up, since usually biker chick fashion is her thing. Sam says she was just out for a drink, but this place isn’t her speed.

Elizabeth says it’s clear that Nicholas doesn’t trust Hayden. He says that friendship has it’s limits and she’s over-stepping her bounds. He says she heard him tell Sam forget about it. Elizabeth asks why he married Hayden if he doesn’t trust her.

Anna says Paul is assuming Carrrlos has kept his mouth shut, and what about Sabrrrina. Paul says she’ll want to protect he father of her baby. He says sooner or later, Carrrlos is going to need help. Anna says the only person they could reach out to is Paul. She asks if he funded the trip to London and takes his silence as an answer. She says when they run out of money, they’ll have to call Paul. She says when they do, she’d better be the first call he makes afterward. She says he’d better not play her and he says he takes both business and pleasure very seriously.

Jordan and Andre make plans for another date. Andre says he’d like it to be outside of her office and suggests going dancing. He leaves and Jordan is all smiley. Oops, he forgot his hat. Someone’s at the door, but it’s Curtis. Didn’t they pass each other?

Elizabeth says she doesn’t want Nicholas to get hurt the way he did with Britt. She says he’s paying someone to find out why he doesn’t trust her. She says he should get out before it’s too late and show Hayden the door. Oops! Hayden is there and says that she wants to talk to her husband. Elizabeth makes an exit and Hayden asks if it’s true that Nicholas is having her investigated. He says it’s true, but he called it off. She asks if it’s because of what he found out, and he says no, it’s because of what he didn’t, making perfect sense…not.

Lulu says they need an objective third person and they need to stop talking to the people they know and not talking to each other. Dante is on board with that, and says what they’re doing feels right. She says it will feel more right later and she’s leaving before she changes her mind. Before she leaves, she tells him if he burned the bed, she won’t lose any sleep.

Anna tells Paul if Carrrlos contacts him, she wants to be the first to know. Paul says when he contacts Paul, he’ll call her. That was fast. Paul gets a call from Carrrlos as soon as he’s on the porch.

Curtis is pissed because Jordan told people that he’s a drug addict and he’s been clean for years. If she wants him to stay out of her business, she’d better stay out of his. He says she’s got a lot to be concerned about with her past and she needs to keep her mouth shut and so will he.

Nicholas says he knows there’s more to the Rachel story than Hayden has told him, but he doesn’t care. All he knows is that they love each other. He says maybe one day she ‘ll tell him the rest of the story. He says he felt sick when he realized he was prying into a past that had nothing to do with him. He says all that matters is today and that they’re happy. He told Sam to drop it and that she told him nothing because there’s nothing to tell. She thanks him and he thanks her for not getting angry. She says she’s not thrilled about Elizabeth, and he says he’ll make sure she understands the situation and stays out of Hayden’s way. He tells Hayden she’s his priority and I want to marry him.

Elizabeth meets Sam. Elizabeth says she overheard Nicholas and Sam talking, and heard Nicholas telling her to drop the investigation. Sam tells her to discuss it with Nicholas. Elizabeth says Sam should keep investigating for Spencer’s sake and that even if Sam thinks Nicholas deserves it, Spencer will be the one who ends up with the biggest broken heart. She says if that matters to Sam, she should continue.

Tomorrow, Carly doens’t want Jason working for Sonny, Tracy goes to the crypt, and Felix tells Michael that Sabrrrina really loves him.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Jeffrey tells Justin it’s very freeing to come out and asks if he’s like a kiss. Candace comes home and Justin tells her she had a break-in. He asks if she knows Quita. She says yes and Jeffrey says she forgot to give Quita the key. Not much Justin can say at this point, so he leaves.

After he’s gone, Candace asks Jeffrey why Justin’s zipper was unzipped. Jeffrey tells Candace that Quita was looking for Quincy and asks what she did with him. She says she took care of it. He asks for his keys and she says she doesn’t know where they are. She asks again about Justin’s pants.

Jeffrey tells Candace he can track his keys on a phone and she gives him hers. Erica comes by and asks who Jeffrey is .Candace introduces him and says he’s not on their team. Jeffrey says the phone says the keys are there. He goes to look.

Erica asks Candace if she told Benny about the mortgage. Candace says no and Erica says she’s running out of time and Warlock is serious. Jeffrey comes back and says his keys are in the backyard under the dirt. Candace tells him no. Erica wonders why the keys would be there.

Jeffrey starts to dig and Candace stops him. She tells Erica she’ll talk to her later. When Erica leaves, Candace tells the suddenly clueless Jeffrey to give her the phone. She calls War and he says he put the keys with “the package.” She tells Jeffrey to call a locksmith because his keys are gone. She has to repeat herself and finally tells him they’re with Quincy. Jeffrey freaks that she buried Quincy in the backyard. She says it’s not like Jeffrey was helping, which is so true.

Jeffrey tells her what happened with Justin and that he thinks Justin is suspicious. Candace says they can use this. She tells Jeffrey to play Justin and find out what he knows. Jeffrey says Quita told him the neighbor said three men went in, but only two went out. Candace says they can’t move the body because cameras are trained on the house. Jeffrey says Justin put a gun to his head and Candace is like, welcome to my life. Jeffrey says Justin is crazy and Candace tells Jeffrey to be crazy. She tells Jeffrey to call a locksmith and says she has to speak to Benny.

Hanna is rifling through cupboards and cushions at the Cryer house. Is she looking for change? She pulls out every dollar from every pocket, change purse and whatever else she can find.

Wyatt is partying and when some guy tells him to slow down, he tosses him out. The hotel room is full of lowlifes sharing the wealth and there’s a huge plate of cocaine on the table.

Quita gets sprung and meets Veronica in her car outside. Quita says there’s a hit out on Veronica, and one of their boys is at her house right now. She says he has orders to shoot whoever comes in first. Veronica asks why she’s telling her this. Quita says she needs Veronica’s help to find Quincy. She tells Veronica about what she found at Candace’s and that Jeffrey was driving Quincy’s car. She says she knows Candace and Jeffrey must have done something to Quincy. Veronica tells her to calm down and go home and she’ll call her later.

David comes to the jail and asks when Veronica was processed. The guard says she left a half hour ago. He tries to visit Jim, but that’s a no since he’s not authorized.

Kathryn meets with Lloyd and finds out about the $12 million that Wyatt was given. He says he tried to call her. He also tells her about the $7 million Jim moved to the “Candy Cane Company” that was allocated for taxes and that they have to pay the bill. She tells him to move the money. He also tells her that Jim’s lawyer thinks they should move a bunch of money out in case of a lawsuit.

When Kathryn gets home, Hanna comes out and tells her she went through everything and came up with 900 dollars and she’ll expect the rest of her pay on the first of the month. Kathryn gives her whatever from her pocketbook. Hanna says she just wants what’s owed her. Kathryn says no one, not even her mother, has cared for her like Hanna has and if she walks out the door, Kathryn is lost.Hanna tells her she’s already lost. She asks what she can give Hanna and Hanna says she’s not for sale.

Kathryn says Hanna isn’t Candace and tells Hanna about the $7 million. She says she knows Candace must have been blackmailing Jim. She tells Hanna about Wyatt getting his trust fund and says she can’t bury another child. She begs Hanna not to leave. Hanna says she has to go. Kathryn asks if this is it and Hanna says she has to check on her grandson. She leaves, leaving Kathryn saying, please.

Mitch shows Jeffrey the paper with the picture of him and Veronica. Apparently his first concern is the age difference. He says that he pissed David off and now David is messing with their business. Mitch asks what David wants and David says details. Mitch tells him to spill, but Benny says that’s for Veronica to do. Candace comes in to talk to Benny.

Mitch leaves and Candace asks if Benny has seen War. Benny says he tried to get him to go into business with him, but it was a no. In the coincidence that is only soap opera world, War comes in. War gives Candace a hug and whispers not to try anything. He says he’ll call her later.

When he leaves, Candace tells Benny that he should stay away from War. She asks him what’s going on and how business is. He says good and she asks if he thought about the lawsuit. He says he has what he needs already. She says she spoke to someone who said he can get $10 million, but Benny says he wants to make his own money. He asks why it’s important to her and she says there’s something she needs to handle and she’s going to have to mortgage the the house and tow yard. Benny says no way. He asks what kind of problem she has. When she doesn’t want to say, he tells her to get out.

He says she’s lost her mind and asks if she’s in trouble. He says he’ll kill whoever it is. She says she’s not in trouble and he repeats who is it. She says it’s just a business opportunity that she’s going to miss. He tells her to never ask him again. She pretends she was kidding and asks if he’ll still meet with the lawyer. She says he won’t even have to go to court since they’ll probably settle. He says he’ll think about it.

The party at Wyatt’s hotel room continues. Now he’s shooting up. No good can possibly come from this.

Kathryn visits Jim in his cell. He tells her she looks good, and she says she’s not in the mood for a nice Jim right now, because that means he’s worried. She tells him about Lloyd and that Hanna quit. He says it’s the first step to a lawsuit. She tells him about Wyatt getting his inheritance. Jim asks where he is and she says she doesn’t know. He says to find Wyatt and rip DA Jennifer a new one.

Jennifer can’t find Wyatt either. David comes busting in and asks where Veronica is and if she left a home address. He manhandles Jennifer and says he needs to see Jim. She tells him to see Maggie. She says he has time for Maggie and not for her, since he’s the only man on earth. He asks her to please let him see Jim. She tells him five minutes and calls to give him allowance.

Candace and Benny visit a lawyer. He thinks it will be an easy case and settlement a good possibility. Candace says she’ll contact the grandfather of the little girl who was killed. The lawyer says she should be a lawyer. She says she’s in law school and he says if she can make this happen, he’ll offer her a position when she graduates.

Hanna is at the hospital to see Quincy Jr. The doctor says she can’t see him and she has to talk to child welfare. The social worker tells her that it’s been decided Quincy Jr. is better off with Candace since Hanna has no home for him. Hanna says Candace got to her. She says she did what’s best for her grandson. Hanna asks if she can see him before Candace gets him, but Aliyah says no.

Erica asks Candace what Benny said, and she says he lost it when she brought up the mortgage. Erica says she can forge the documents in an hour. Candace doesn’t want to do it, but Erica says this is War she’s dealing with. Candace makes a phone call, telling the grandfather about the pending lawsuit and asking if he would like to join them. She asks if he’ll meet her later at the house. Erica says she can pay the mortgage back as soon as they win the case. She says she’s going to work on the deeds and Candace doesn’t have a choice.

Veronica drives up to her house. She looks on the surveillance camera from her tablet and sees a guy hanging out inside. She calls Maggie and tells her thanks for planting the picture. She says she knew her marriage was over but didn’t have the guts to end it. She says she wants to talk to Maggie about some sensitive David issues and asks her to meet her at the house. Great move!

Next week, David visits Jim who says it’s too late, Hanna wants to see Candace, and Kathryn threatens to kill Jennifer..

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika is having a dinner party. Those always go so well. Yolanda calls. She’s having a bad day and Erika lets her off the hook to come.

LisaR and Kathryn are taking a limo together. Kathryn is anxious to meet Erika’s husband, Tom. Lisa says he’s super smart and has charisma up the kazoo. I think that’s gazoo, Lisa.

Erika doesn’t do cooking, so a fabulous meal is being prepared by chefs. She says she doesn’t tell Tom about the petty nonsense that goes on between the girls, so he’s clueless about what happened at Yolanda’s party. Eileen also can’t make it because she’s working. LisaV also has to leave early due to a charity event.

Kathryn bugs LisaR about not eating. For the love of all that’s holy, leave her alone. Ken is there, but the other husbands have work duties. Tom joins the group. He seems like a pretty cool guy.

They sit down to dinner. LisaV brings up Tom calling her a worthy opponent and he says she’s the only one he has in life. He says he decided to be a lawyer because of watching Perry Mason. LisaR talks about how kids come up to her husband and say LA Law inspired them.

Kathryn bugs LisaR about eating again. She claims she’s just joking and Lisa says she’s pushing it. She thinks Kathryn is being inappropriate and threatens to repeat her performance in Holland. LisaV suggest giving her a sippy cup and the mood lightens.

Erika says it’s slow process for her to show emotion. Kathryn asks if people have to prove themselves to her and gets a little animated. Tom gets involved in the conversation and in her individual interview, Erika says Kathryn doesn’t have to hit them over the head with her personality. Erika says closeness develops over time and Kathryn says to throw her a freakin’ bone. In her interview, LisaR says Kathryn is being loud and aggressive, and she’d like to muzzle her. Erika says she’s not cold, but cautious and LisaV says it comes across that way sometimes. Lisa says she has a problem of coming across controlling and brings up the web making comment.

Erika tells Kathryn thanks a lot, since she thought she was confiding in her. Kathryn says she was glad Erika opened up. Erika rolls her eyes and Kathryn tells her knock it off. Erika is like why are you telling at me in my own home? Kathryn says she’s losing the argument and Tom wonders if they do this all the time. Erika says they don’t have to like her and LisaR asks why Kathryn felt the need to repeat what Erika said. Kathryn says she wanted a reaction. LisaR says hallelujah for honesty. Erika says Kathryn put a wedge between her and LisaV’s potential friendship.

LisaV keeps interjecting things about the web comment. Tom says it’s both a positive and negative statement. Kathryn says maybe LisaV didn’t get the gist. Lisa says, oh now it’s my fault, joking around. She says she really has to jet, but it’s been real and she’d like to get to know Erika better. Tom says something about her having to leave, even though Bravo’s preview led us to belive he was asking Kathryn to leave. Actually, I wouldn’t blame him if he asked everyone to leave.

Erika is appalled at the whole thing and says it’s not what she wanted. Has she ever watched this show and seen how dinner parties end up? Hell, she was in the midst of one last week. She adds that she’d never come to someone’s home, meet their husband for the first time and act like an ass. So, she’d wait for the second time? LisaR says Kathryn doesn’t have malicious intent, but she likes to push buttons and she’s had enough now. Erika rates the dinner party as a negative 5 and says she’s never doing that again.

Commercial break. The Real Housewives of NYC starts on April 6.

Erika and Kyle are playing a game of tennis. Neither of them is very good and I identify. Kyle talks about how Mauricio’s company is involved with Habitat for Humanity. He just got back from Dubai and Kyle wants to open a store there. Kyle asks her how the party went. Erika says she tried to keep the whole conversation to a minimum in front of her husband, and now he’s pissed because he doesn’t like her being catty.

Kathryn and Don are shopping and he asks about the dinner party. Kathryn acts like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth about spreading the web comment. Don misuses that honesty word in true Wives fashion, saying Kathryn just tells it like it is. He does say she can be a little brutal at times though. Kathryn says she thinks she’s fair. I don’t know about that, but she sure has a big mouth.

LisaR and Eileen meet at the beach. Eileen says she’s been doing a lot of stunts on her show and has been having a lot of fun. Lisa says her hat’s off to Eileen for being in the soap business for over 30 years. Mine is too. Eileen questions Lisa’s reaction to Erika presenting LisaV as manipulative. LisaR says she wanted to be LisaV’s cheerleader, and she thinks LisaV can be manipulative, but so can a lot of them. Then she opens her big mouth and tells Eileen about how Kyle and LisaV passed comments back and forth about Yolanda. She says LisaV encouraged her to bring up the Munchausen’s issue. She says she’s allowed herself to be used as a pawn. Eileen says she’s speechless. So am I. None of these women are children, and I think they should all put their big girl panties on and think for themselves.

LisaR tells Eileen that Yolanda had lunch with Brandi and Kim the same day she canceled on Erika. Eileen thinks it’s her business, but she probably shouldn’t have worn herself out when she knew she had a commitment. Eileen says since she’s ill, she gives her a pass. Lisa says she thinks Yolanda uses her illness to her advantage. Lisa says something emotional isn’t being dealt with. Eileen says that’s not her experience with Yolanda. She says her gut feeling says to run from Yolanda since she’s more manipulative than anybody.

Kathryn, accompanied by Don, is getting a hearing test. She’s deaf in one ear. She says when she’s in a loud environment, the background noise sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher. She sees the doctor after the test. She says that people think she’s being rude when she really doesn’t hear them. Having loss of hearing in one ear, I totally understand this. The doctor offers her some kind of new device that she says is music to her ear. BA-DUM-BUM!

Kyle brings Yolanda some flowers. Yolanda is getting an award from the Global Lyme Alliance. She’s invited the girls to New York. She wants them to see that her problem is many people’s problem. Kyle wants to discuss the email. Yolanda says she felt attacked by Kyle. Kyle says it was between them and Yolanda sent it to everyone, but Yolanda says everyone was there for the original argument. She says she just wants clarity in her friendships with everyone and she’s better with one on one communication. Which totally explains why she wanted everyone to get the email. Kyle decides to just agree and move on, even though she didn’t really get an answer as to why Yolanda wanted to hang on to their altercation.

The ladies gather for the Habitat for Humanity gig. LisaR says none of them have manual labor skills, so this should be good. Eileen is working and will be joining them later. Mauricio explains the program to them on their way there. I do have manual labor skills and would love to do this.

Kyle says it should be interesting to see a group of ladies who don’t even paint their own nails paint a house. More about Habitat for Humanity is explained.

LisaV thanks Erika for dinner. She keeps joking about the web thing and Erika is over it. Later, Kyle says she’s afraid of spiders and it starts again. LisaV privately tells Kyle enough now. She says Erika has had enough and she’s obviously not laughing.

Erika tells LisaR and Eileen that she doesn’t trust Kathryn any more after she repeated what Erika said and then went through it at the dinner party. Eileen wants them to talk to each other and suggests asking Kathryn to come in on the conversation. Eileen asks Kathryn why she brought up the web thing at Erika’s house. Erika says she has a hard time having a relationship with LisaV because of her. Why would Lisa want to be friends with her and nice to her now? She says Tom was trying to get to know Kathryn. Kathryn says he’s lovely and Erika asks how she would know since she talked the whole time. Erica is waving her hand around and telling Kathryn to listen for once Kathryn tells her not to do that with her hand and Erika says, or what? Ooh, white rich people thug life. I’m also paraphrasing since Erika is talking pretty fast.

Erika says she wants to be friends with Kathryn, but this has hurt their friendship. Kathryn says she can be trusted, as long as she lets her know she needs to be trusted. LisaR says Kathryn is full of it and that she should have known better. Kathryn apologizes, but says they’re overly sensitive in her interview. Erica says she’ll give a person a second chance, but not a third.

Next week, the ladies go to a women’s cancer event, a dog slaughter protest goes in the wrong direction, Yolanda calls everyone out, and David Foster pretends to be a loving husband.