Tag Archives: Vanderpump Rules

Apr4

April 3, 2017 – Good-by Lady Jane, Hello Southern Charm, Vanderkids Reunite & a Sweet Comment

Posted on April 4, 2017 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

So when is Faison getting back to Port Charles already?

Michael finds Larry in his office. Larry claims that he thought it was Tracy’s office.

Laura and Tracy arrive at the monastery in Turkey.

Jason makes a psyche appointment for Jake. Sam is impressed. She asks if they’re moving forward with their other idea, but Jason says it’s not up to him. Sonny arrives, and makes a cute, dimply smile.

Carly tells Josslyn that she’s been distracted. She says she’s been in her own world, and Josslyn asks if her world includes Sonny. Carly says that Sonny has always loved Josslyn, but Josslyn thinks they should divorce.

Someone watches Alexis from outside Kelly’s. She steps outside and sees Jax.

Laura thinks they should find somewhere to sleep before they lose daylight. Tracy wants to find her painting first. She’s concerned that Larry might be a step ahead of her. Two monks pop out, babbling in Turkish. Laura tells Tracy that it’s Turkish for trouble.

Larry says he was looking for the minibar, but Michael says there isn’t one. Larry asks to be pointed in Tracy’s direction, but Ned interrupts saying, no you don’t.

Jax sits down with Alexis. She wonders if it’s a happy coincidence, and apologizes for how she behaved last time. He asks if she’s in recovery. She says she had a relapse, but she’s on the wagon today. He gives her his condolences about Julian. She says she feels him everywhere, and he asks if she wants to talk about it.

Sonny asks what’s up, and Sam says Jason will explain. She tells him Jason has something personal to ask, and to think hard before he makes a decision. Jason tells him they want him to be Scout’s godfather. Isn’t he already a godfather? Ha-ha! They’re also asking Carly to be her godmother.

Carly tells Josslyn that when you love someone, you can’t just turn off the feelings. Josslyn tells her that she’s worth a hundred Sonnys, and to stop messing around and get a divorce. Now tell us how you really feel.

Alexis tells Jax about Olivia-J forcing Julian’s hand, but she doesn’t think anyone else believes he was sincere. Jax says she loved him, and that’s all that matters. Sam walks in, and Jax tells her congratulations on the new baby. He says he has to be somewhere, and leaves. Sam asks if Carly knows he’s in Port Charles.

Carly tries to change the subject, but Josslyn isn’t having it. She says Carly can at least get started with divorce proceedings. Carly says it’s not that simple, but Josslyn says she’s just pretending it is, so she doesn’t have to do it. Carly says it’s painful and complicated, and she has a life with Sonny. It’s going to affect other people, including Josslyn. She says she’s not getting a divorce yet, and Josslyn asks what if Sonny thinks differently?

Sonny tells Jason that if anything should happen to them, he’ll make sure Scout is taken care of. Jason asks if including Carly is going to make him uncomfortable. Sonny wonders if they’re thinking this could bring them back together.

Tracy asks the monks if they have any food, and Laura asks if she wants to star in her own version of Midnight Express. Laura tells Tracy to let her do the talking. While Laura discusses things with the monks, Tracy looks up, talking to Edward. Laura tells Tracy that they’re not getting kicked out after all.

Larry tells Ned there’s nothing to worry about, and Ned says there is with him. He says he has a good friend in the state department; one wrong move, and Larry is back home. Larry says he has the opportunity of a lifetime, and Ned says he’s not getting anywhere near Tracy. Michael tells them that she’s not in yet. Larry says he’ll wait, and Ned says he will too. Olivia-F, who I didn’t even notice was there, introduces herself, and Ned tells Larry that she’s his fiancé.

Michael congratulates them, and Olivia shows off the ring. Michael says he’ll have his assistant track Tracy down, and Olivia goes with him. Ned tells Larry let’s hear it. Larry doesn’t know whether to toast or eulogize him.

Tracy and Laura are shown to a room. Tracy balks at there being only one bed. The monk says something, and Laura says they’re not to leave the room. Women are only allowed there for worship, and services are over for the day. She adds that she told them they’d give a small donation, and Tracy owes them 2000 lira. Tracy wonders where the painting is, but Laura says they claimed not to know about it. She thinks when things quiet down, they should explore.

Sam tells Alexis that she can talk to her, but Alexis feels that she’s cried on Sam’s shoulder enough. Sam says she saw Jason many times after she lost him. Alexis says she got another phone call and heard the noise again. She wonders if she’s going crazy. She says she can’t shake Julian, and can’t seem to let go. Sam sums up what death on a soap is all about – without a body, she can’t believe he’s gone.

Jason tells Sonny that he and Carly have their support no matter what. There’s a knock at the door. No surprise, it’s Carly.

Josslyn starts to leave the house, and finds Jax on the porch.

Ned wonders how Larry could have a problem with Olivia-F, but he says it’s not the choice of partner, it’s the institution itself. Ned says Edward and Lila worked out, but Larry says they were the exception to the rule. Ned says he’s looking to the future, and isn’t repeating his mistakes. Olivia listens from the hallway. Larry tells him about good intentions paving the road to hell, and says no leopard can change its spots. Ned tells him that he and Olivia are honest with each other. He says she’s an extraordinary woman, and makes him want to be a better man. Larry says it does sound like he’s in love. Ned says he’d hoped Larry would be happy for him. Larry says he let the love of his life slip through his fingers. Ned tells Larry how happy he is, and Larry approves. Olivia smiles.

Laura says it’s not a vacation; it’s an adventure. Tracy says she’s more comfortable in a board room, despite what her father thought. Laura says her father admired her and talked about her all the time. He said she was treacherous, duplicitous, and ruthless, and everything he needed to run ELQ. She could be his greatest adversary, but also his best friend. She was his greatest accomplishment.

Sam understands that Alexis can’t move forward without proof. She’s already started investigating.

Sonny asks Jason if it’s a set-up, and Carly says she’ll come back. Jason tells her to stay right there, and explains about asking them to be godparents. Carly says of course she’ll do it. She says it’s about Scout, not them. Sonny says they can come together for that, even though their lives are apart.

Josslyn asks Jax if Carly called and told him about her and Sonny. He’s clueless, and she tells him they’re estranged. He says he needs to talk to her. He has bad news about Lady Jane; she’s passed away. He tears up, and says he’s sorry. They hug.

Laura tells Tracy that Edward thought of her as his heir apparent. Tracy says he disinherited her twice. Laura says she thinks he was afraid of her, but for all of his bluster, he wore his heart on his sleeve. It was clear that he saw a bright, capable woman, who wouldn’t just supplant, but surpass him. Tracy wonders what she’s doing here. Laura asks why it’s hard for her to accept Edward’s love. Tracy says he never said he loved her, and Laura says he was stingy with the words because they were valuable to him.

Michael brings in champagne. Ned makes a toast. Michael asks Olivia-F if she’s moving in to the Quartermaine mansion, but Olivia says they haven’t discussed it. Michael says living with the Quartermaines can be difficult. Olivia says difficult, but rewarding.

Laura tells Tracy that if the trip is going to bring up bad memories, they can scrap it. She can forget all about it. Tracy says good idea, but when they open the door, they hear crying. Tracy says it sounds like a woman, and Laura says they’re the only women there.

Alexis asks Sam if she has a lead. Sam says the call might not have been from Julian. If Julian was worried about criminal charges, he’d get as far away as possible. She tells Alexis that it’s difficult, but not to get her hopes up.

Carly says it’s settled; they’re godparents. Jason thanks them. Carly says what if Sonny had said no, but Jason says there was no plan B. He figured they’d put aside differences for Scout. She leaves, and Sonny follows. He tells her that they need to talk. She says they did, and he said everything she needed to hear. He walks away.

Josslyn tells Jax that her grandmother sounded like she was doing better. She wishes she’d been there. Jax says her grandmother wanted her to remember her the way she was. He says she died in her sleep, and it was peaceful. Josslyn asks if he was there, and he says he was. He says it was sad for him, but she had an amazing life, full of people who loved her. Josslyn was one of the brightest lights in her life. He gives her a letter from her grandmother. She doesn’t want to read it right now. They talk about missing her.

Sam gets back home. Jason says Scout has her godparents, but he’s not so sure about Sonny and Carly getting back together.

Sonny tells Diane to clear the afternoon. He has something for her.

Sam tells Jason that she doesn’t think Alexis can let it go until they can prove Julian is gone. She shows Jason the footage from the gas station camera. He says it could be Julian, but a lot of guys fit that description. Sam gets an alert that Julian’s credit card was used.

Outside Kelly’s, Alexis makes plans to meet Molly for lunch. A hooded figure watches her.

Ned asks about Tracy, and Michael says he’s sure she’s on her way. Ned says she gave her blessing, but that’s before Olivia turned him down the first time. Larry says that Tracy is a pussycat, and Ned says he’s had too much to drink. Larry thinks she’ll be distracted by his proposal. Ned says she’s best resist his scam, but Larry insists he has the deal of a lifetime for the both of them. Michael gets a message, and tells them that Tracy chartered company jet for going to Turkey. Larry does spit take.

Tracy and Laura catch the monks trying to sneak out with the painting. Tracy tells them that she’s Edward’s daughter, and the painting is hers. They uncover the painting, and it’s a portrait of Tracy, during the period when she wore braids on top of her head.

Jax and Josslyn look at photos and reminisce. She asks about a hat that her grandmother is wearing, and Jax says it’s hers. Her grandmother would want her to have it.

We see that the episode is in memory of Barbara Tarbuck. She played Lady Jane on GH, and passed away recently.

Tomorrow, Jason talks to Andre about Jake, Nathan asks Sam if Julian has a plan to leave town, and Tracy wants answers now.

Southern Charm

Thomas brings Landon a flower. Then walks her dog with her. They sit on a park bench. She asks what he thinks will make him happy. He says a partner in life. He thinks they should take a chance. Yuk! But they deserve each other. This could also be a deceptive scene.

Patricia looks up Pug Chauncey’s horoscope.

Shep is scouting the bars, looking for his credit card, which he lost the night before. Cameran calls him a moron, and he says he knows.

Cameran can’t find Craig. She thinks he’s embarrassed about having to admit he didn’t finish law school at the reunion. Well, he wasn’t that hard to find. He’s in his yard building…something. Carpentry is his new hobby, along with gardening. Instead of going out on the weekends, he’s been buying new power tools. He still has plans to study for the bar, but Cameran says no one is holding a gun to his head. He tells her that he wants to be able to say he finished something that he started.

Thomas says his life has taken a transformative change. Kathryn failed a drug test, and now he has the kids. They’re living in the guest house because “kids are messy and destructive.” If they spit up, he wants it to be on a $200 rug, rather than a $30K rug. No comment. Kathryn can’t see the kids until she passes a drug test. What is it? Weed? Please. Or something else? Thomas says his least favorite part isn’t poopy diapers, but concern about their future, especially if something should happen to him.

Shep meets his friend Austen. Austen is already chatting with a couple of girls. They talk about the summer. Shep traveled a lot. He asks if Austen knows Landon, and says that he wants the truth about if she slept with Thomas. We flash back to Landon’s confession of love for Shep. He says it’s the South, so they’re just sweeping that under the rug. The girl Shep had been talking with is leaving, but he can’t remember her name, so no phone number. Austen tells Shep that she’d already given him her number.

Is Austen a new cast member? Omg, he’s telling us all about being newly single, and we see his nakey butt getting into the shower. It’s not a great view, and nobody needs to see this. He He’s originally from Maryland, and tells us that he actually has a job – as a beer company rep. He gets paid to drink and talk about beer. This is a real job? He flashes back to his parents telling him that he needs to support himself. They actually work too.

Whitney visits his mom, who’s doing a needlepoint of Chauncey. She has a new buzzer instead of a bell. She calls for Michael, the great martini maker, and they order drinks. Whitney tells her about a trip he took to Mexico, where they didn’t do any drinking, an just smoked weed. Patricia gives him a lecture, and brings up Kathryn, so that answers that question. In her interview, she seems sincere in hoping that Kathryn turns her life around. I think what Kathryn needs is rehab from Thomas. Patricia tells Whitney about an Uncle Philip, who went from a government job to working at Blockbuster because he smoked too much weed. It reminds me of one of those old, laughable PSAs.

Landon goes paddle boarding. And promptly falls off. She tells us that her life was a complete mess last year, and we flash back to some of that. She’s annoyed about the Thomas affair gossip, because her reputation is at stake. She spent the summer traveling, and now it’s time to face the bullsh*t again. Craig calls, and they talk about an upcoming pool party. She doesn’t think she and Shep are cool, even though Shep says they are. She’s bringing a friend named Drew, but when Craig asks if they’re dating, she avoids the question. Omg, she’s thirty-five. Seriously, is it me, or are people more immature today?

Thomas plays some polo with Eliza, the daughter of one of his close friends, and she keeps calling him grandpa. He’s too stupid to be insulted. She invites him to a party on Sunday (is this the pool party?) and he tells her that she should invite Kathryn. She tells him that she got a weird text from Kathryn, and she’d been kicked out of where she was living. She says she became friends with Kathryn before all this happened, and Thomas thinks it’s going to be a long road. Eliza says Kathryn needs Jesus. No doubt in my mind.

Shep meets Cameron at a beachwear shop. They’re looking for new suits for the party. She asks who he’s bringing, and he says Austen. Cameron asks if Austen is replacing Craig, and tells him she’s bringing Chelsea. She thinks Chelsea might be the mystical unicorn who changes Shep. They talk about Craig. Shep thinks the bar is over for him, since it’s been three years. In his interview, Shep says he’s over Craig and trying to help him. Cameran says that Craig is insecure. Shep says he’s from a family that’s basically jocks, and he wrote a cookbook. He’s not like them, and decided he wanted to be like a Southern bon vivant, and trying to be something he’s not. He wonders if Craig lies to his girlfriend. He says there’s no way Craig is cheating on her, and gives a funny analogy about Craig trying to get some, involving monkeys and whorehouses.

Kathryn calls Craig as he’s driving with girlfriend Naomie. She says she’s trying to get her life back on track, and living with her family in the meantime. She says she’d like to see them. Naomie has to get back to school, but Craig says he has time. In his interview, he admits his life has been calmer without her. We flash back, but none of the angst shown is actually Kathryn’s fault. Kathryn says it isn’t public knowledge that she’s back. After they hang up, Craig feels weird that they’re on their way to Landon’s house. They agree not to mention the call.

The guests start to gather for the pool party. Cameron says it’s 150 degrees and immediately puts on her bathing suit. I often think I wouldn’t mind living in Charleston, but then I remember how freaking hot it is there. She says Craig has promised to retire the Speedo. Shep introduces Austen as his protégée, but Austen says he’s a younger, better version of Shep.

As soon as they arrive at Landon’s, Craig tells her about talking to Kathryn. She pretends not to care that Craig is still friends with her. She says it’s a red flag that Kathryn went to rehab so far away and she couldn’t see her children. Um…it’s possible that there were reasons for that. Craig says sober Kathryn is awesome, and they talk about the kids. Landon says she can’t even go to lunch with Thomas without someone saying something nasty. In his interview, Craig says it doesn’t matter if they actually hooked up, Landon and Thomas were having an emotional affair, and it hurt Kathryn. He goes to say that an emotional affair can be even worse than a physical one, and I stare open-mouthed at the TV, because Craig is being so incredibly perceptive.

The pool party is in full swing. Cameran is drinking something called Frozé, which sounds God awful. In his interview, Thomas says that all the talk about them widened the gap between him and Landon. Ew! JD shows up and I don’t like him. Thomas chats with Landon about the summer. She thinks she can hear people talking behind her back, but I don’t hear them, so I don’t know if she’s just being dramatic. What annoys her most is that even if she had been with Thomas, it’s not like he and Kathryn are together. Did I just hear Thomas say that Landon has BO?

Whitney arrives. Everyone seems to be getting reacquainted, so I guess they don’t see much of each other in the summer. If it’s that hot when it’s not summer, I’d be gone too. In her interview, Landon says that Shep hasn’t reached out to apologize or anything, but in true Southern fashion, she acts glad to see him when she wants to tell him f-u. I’m not sure what he’s supposed to apologize for. Not returning her affection?

Thomas acts like an idiot per usual, urging the female guests to go topless. Shep talks to Naomie on the porch. He thinks Craig should do something unconventional, like being a chef. He doesn’t think Craig really wants to be a lawyer. He asks about Craig’s application to the bar, but Naomie says he should talk to Craig. Shep says he refuses to make himself vulnerable when that’s what friendship is about. What happened to these guys that they’re suddenly so astute? He tells Naomie that she’s the best thing that’s happened to Craig.

There’s a waterslide and beach balls and floaties and all kinds of fun stuff. Kathryn’s cousin, Shelby (there always has to be one), is there, and word has it, Kathryn is coming. Shelby says she’s worried about Kathryn, and had to ask her to move. I guess her place is where Kathryn was given the boot. She says Kathryn completed the program, but doesn’t seem any better.

Naomie tells them about the phone call, and says Kathryn sounded great. Thomas says she won’t take another drug test, and thinks it’s because she’ll fail. Cameran says she has respect for him stepping up for the kids. Ew! JD says he keeps thinking Kathryn is going to walk in wearing a ballgown, and make a statement.

Meanwhile, Kathryn goes to an appointment for a drug test.

This season, lots of drinking and parties, a toast to the bourgeoisie, Kathryn and Shep do yoga, Patricia presents an Indian psychic healer, Naomie asks Craig if he wants to be a lawyer and he tells her she’s being “dumb,” Austen hooks up with Shelby, Kathryn joins the group again, Jennifer is still around, and Shep tells Craig that if you mess with the bull, you get the horns. I can’t even believe anyone says that.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part One

Reunions are tough to recap because everyone always starts talking at once, or even better, screeching at once. They should put in subtitles, or a flow chart in the corner.

Andy introduces Lisa as the Empress of SUR. No, Andy, she is the Queen of the World, She Who Can Do No Wrong. Introductions are made, and we find out that Stassi went on the honeymoon with Katie and Schwartz. Thank God Tom has gotten a haircut and those ridiculous highlights are gone. Scheana has a fresh cut too, and it looks amazing.

Jax is up first. Omg, Andy forgot to introduce Kristen. He remembered because of course we’re going over the Brittany/Kristen debacle. Kristen insists it didn’t happen, but James believes Jax. Britanny says it was just a kiss, and that they weren’t even nakey. Andy basically asks Jax if he has no shame, and he doesn’t. Andy moves on.

The wedding is discussed. The budget issue is brought up, and Schwartz has to agree that he was delusional thinking it could be pulled off on the cheap. Ew! We revisit the butt steaks. Andy asks Stassi how it felt to be back in the friend loop and be a bridesmaid, and she says it was everything. They talk about prenups. Lisa can’t figure out why Schwartz and Katie bothered, since they had fifty bucks between them. She says Shay was a different story, although Scheana says she had nothing at the time either.

Jax and Brittany have moved. To Schwartz and Katie’s building. And their floor. Katie says she doesn’t want it to be a dorm situation, and wasn’t too happy about it. Brittany tells us the story about Jax losing his temper at the apartment management, and they basically were asked to leave. Jax says they weren’t evicted, but got “move out papers,” whatever that means.

Focusing on James. Lisa says he was a good DJ until he screwed up. They talk about James’s lack of self-control. We flash back to James spinning at World Dog Day, and reminding people to pick up their dog’s poop. Apparently, he played all his own music.

Lisa talks about World Dog Day and how successful it was. Andy says he can mark the start of summer by Lisa getting a new Porsche. They discuss Katie picking up the car, and how Katie got annoyed at Schwartz when they were at the dealer. Schwartz tells everyone one again that his penis works, and says Jax can verify that.

Next is the tragedy in Orlando, and Lisa’s decision to continue on with the Pride events. They have the coolest flashback using a filter that brings out only a few colors, Lisa’s pink outfit being the predominant one. Lisa gets emotional, and says she felt that they could either go home or stand strong, but she didn’t hold it against anyone who didn’t join in. The employees who sat it out make their excuses. Lisa says it was an incredible success, and she’s glad she made the decision. We flash back to the craziness at PUMP. We hear that Katie sent a snotty text message about the celebration, and Katie says there are better ways to show support, other than pouring alcohol down someone’s throat. Ariana says it wasn’t about them having fun, it was about the Pride attendees having fun. Andy tells everyone that Lala will be joining them, and a lot of faces are made.

We go over Lala’s tattoos. Andy asks about the feud with Katie. Katie says Lala acted like a drunken a-hole at her engagement party, and she didn’t see her after that, but Lala was talking a lot about her. Lala says before Katie ever even knew her, Katie called her a whore. She calls Katie a mean girl.

Andy wants to know why Lala said some things. He goes over some really stupid stuff that Lala has said, like calling Stassi old. He asks why Lala said that Katie and Schwartz would get divorced, and Lala says because that’s what she thinks. She finally admits that she just said stuff to be hurtful. She says if someone keeps coming at her, she gets more hurt and lashes out. She says she doesn’t get them, and James suggests they liked hating on her. Kristen says he did too, until he hooked up with her. Tom says that Lala did nothing to deserve the treatment she got, and Kristen says she trashed them on social media.

We revisit Jax almost thumping James. Tom says Jax is all bark and no bite, but Jax says he was on probation, so he had to stand down. Andy asks why James talked about Scheana having work done, and James apologizes for everything he’s ever said – almost. They talk about Lala’s comment that no one has been working on their summer bodies, and Stassi says Lala doesn’t take responsibility for her remarks.

Schwartz talks about Ariana and Tom being on Lala’s side, and Katie gets pissed off all over again. Tom says she takes no responsibility for provoking it, and it’s an ongoing thing. He says when she first met Lala, Katie was constantly giving her sh*t. He says he’s normally protective of the group when a new person is introduced, but she went on a rampage.

Andy tells Lisa that the unsung heroes of SUR are the chefs, and he goes behind-the-scenes in the kitchen to interview them. He talks about each of the girls and the chefs give their opinions. It turns out that they have quite a few opinions, even on the Brittany/Kristen thing. BTW, they think Jax is no good for Brittany. He also steals something every time he comes in the kitchen. And they like Brittany’s boobs. I’m sure Jax will be proud.

James is still dating Raquel. Andy asks about GG saying he had sex with her, which he continues to deny. Ariana claims that GG wanted to worm her way into the group, but Stassi says that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. We move on to Ellie’s claim, and the picture she had as evidence. Lisa isn’t buying that James is being honest. Andy asks if anyone believes that James didn’t sleep with GG and Ellie. James says don’t anyone rush to raise your hands when not one person does, and it gets seriously quiet. James says he loves Raquel and he’s never been happier. He talks about his relationship with Kristen being toxic, and Jax says it got him on the show. <snort!>

Stassi says that James is like GG, and he imitates Stassi crawling back to the show, literally getting down on the floor. It is pretty funny, and even Stassi laughs. Andy asks if James has been drinking today, and he says not yet.

Lisa thinks that Lala puts on a gansta image, but that’s not who she is. She says that Lala was also a great hostess, and the customers loved her. Ariana talks about how she tried to get Lala and the other girls to kiss and make up, and we flash back to that. Scheana says her apology was sincere, but Kristen doesn’t think so. Andy asks Katie about rage texting Scheana after talking to Stassi. Stassi says prior to that, everything she and Scheana had talked about was the opposite, and when the heat is on, Scheana cowers. Here comes the talking all at once. Stassi calls Scheana a flip-flopper. Katie says they tried to be honest with their feelings, and there’s more talking and loudness and finger-pointing.

Tom says that Katie exaggerated what the other girls said. Ariana says they tried to talk to Stassi about what happened and it blew up. Stassi says she was drunk AF, and we flash back to when she ran into the bathroom crying. It’s true that this group loves to bring up serious and/or important topics when they’ve all been drinking their faces off. Ariana gives her impression of Stassi. Scheana says they make her nervous, and Tom says he feels the same way; you never know what’s going to cause an eruption. James thinks Stassi is the boss and the head bitch. Tom says that Katie was emotionally vulnerable, and instead of being the voice of reason, Stassi and Kristen encouraged her behavior. Stassi maintains that the problem isn’t anyone having a differing opinion, but she doesn’t like how Scheana went back and forth.

Andy calls Brittany “Switzerland.” She says she and Scheana are super close, and she knows Scheana sometimes felt bullied. Lala seconds that, and says she’s seen it firsthand. She wants to know why it’s hard for them to back down for friendship’s sake. Katie says she mismanaged her emotions this summer, and wasn’t ready to accept Lala’s apology. Lala interrupts, but Andy says let her finish, and Katie apologizes. She says she was stubborn against Lala. She wasn’t in a good place with herself or her body image. She says what she did wasn’t okay. She can’t justify it, and apologizes.

Lala tears up and says she’s waited a long time for someone to say they’re sorry for hurting her feelings. She says her mouth is vicious, and she has to work on it daily. Tom thinks she and Katie are more alike than they know. Lala says she doesn’t hate Katie in any way of the word. Andy says headway has been made.

Thank you, Katie, for saying that you had an ugly moment, not that it wasn’t you. I don’t know if you realize how mature that is.

Next time, Reunion Part Two, Stassi’s little brother gives Jax a lecture, James gets on his high horse, Katie’s drinking is addressed, and Lala is questioned about the married man.

🐮 I’m really enjoying Sweet Home Oklahoma. The cast seems genuine, and genuinely funny.

Mar28

March 27, 2017 – Julian Won’t Go Away & a Vanderpump Wedding with a Side of Divorce

Posted on March 28, 2017 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At the MetroCourt, Scotty tells Ava that he’s going to save her ass.

Laura interrupts Sonny and Carly’s argument at Perks, but Carly says they’re done. It doesn’t matter. Laura stopped respecting boundaries ages ago.

Elizabeth shows Jason the timeline of Jake’s life in the drawings. She tells him that she and Franco wanted to see how he perceived himself. Jason thinks it looks normal.

Sam calls Alexis about helping with Scout so she can take a nap. Alexis says she doesn’t know if she can make it today. She says she keeps playing the Julian stuff over in her head. Sam suggests coming over to talk; she doesn’t want Alexis to be alone. Alexis tells her not to worry, and hints that she’s going to a meeting, as she opens a bottle of vodka. Probably Joe’s Vodka. Sam says the other girls told her that Alexis wasn’t doing very well, but she was handling it – one day at a time. There’s a knock at Sam’s door, and Sam tells Alexis to come by after her meeting. Alexis’s meeting is with a drink and Julian’s letter.

Elizabeth shows Jason the scarecrow in the book, and asks if he doesn’t think it’s worth exploring. He says he talked to the psychologist at the school, and Jake is doing fine. Why reopen an old wound? Franco says it’s just below the surface, waiting for the right trigger.

It’s Carly at Sam’s door. She was looking for Jason, but Sam invites her in to talk. Carly thinks her marriage is over.

Laura apologizes to Sonny. She asks if he wants to talk about it, but he says no thanks. He says he spoke to Dante about what happened at the custody hearing, and Diane is usually better than that. Laura says that Valentin outmaneuvered them. Sonny says he offered Dante help, but Dante turned him down. Laura says well, he is a cop, but he’s also proud, and she jokingly wonders where he gets it. Laura says she might take Sonny up on the offer though.

Scotty tells Ava to finish her drink before Lucy shows up. She asks if Lucy agreed to give him the pill bottle, and he says that’s the plan. Ava doesn’t want Sonny to be more suspicious than he already is. Scotty tells Ava that he has a radical plan to blindside Lucy. As he hustles Ava out of the restaurant, Lucy steps out of the elevator.

Franco says that Jason might not want to talk, but they have to. Jake has something he’s hiding. Elizabeth tells Jason to look at the drawings. She explains about the blank space that the scarecrow now resides in, and says that Jake claims he didn’t draw it. Franco says he knows it’s Jake’s drawing, and Jason asks if this was Franco’s idea. Elizabeth tells him about Jake saying that Sam is cursed. Jason wonders what he knows, and Elizabeth says that’s what she’s trying to find out. She thinks what happened to Sam triggered him, but Jason thinks that Franco is behind it.

Sonny tells Laura to name it. Laura tells him about the six months of limited visitation, after which Lulu can pursue custody. Sonny doesn’t think she’ll have a problem, but Laura says that Valentin is a master manipulator, and she needs to find his vulnerabilities. Sonny says he’ll get someone on it. Laura tells him about Nelle being Valentin’s new nanny.

Carly asks if Sam thinks she’s wrong to still feel betrayed. She says she can’t just forget because Sonny wants her to. Sam says no, and hers is the only opinion that counts. She asks what Carly wants. Carly says that she wants Morgan to be alive, and her life the way it used to be. She says her life was shattered, but she doesn’t think Sonny wants to put it back together.

Scotty tells Ava good-by, and she tells him to enjoy his lunch. Scotty sits down with Lucy, and tells her that she and Ava have a lot in common; they’re both protective of their children. Lucy points out that she doesn’t date her daughter’s boyfriends. She accuses Scotty of doing Ava’s dirty work.

Alexis kicks back with the letter and some booze. We hear Julian’s voice saying she’s better off without him and how much he loves her. Julian appears, and says he’d do it all over again. He’d do anything for her.

Lucy says there’s always an agenda with Scotty. He wants her to hear him out. She says Ava has him wrapped around her little finger, and Lucy knows he wants the pills. He says he’s not denying anything, and she’s shocked. He says he doesn’t like the little finger business, but she’s right on the money with everything else.

Alexis reaches for Julian. There’s’ a knock at the door, and he disappears. Alexis stupidly hides the bottle behind a throw pillow. It’s Ava. She says it’s about Julian. She asks if Alexis knows that Jordan called off the search, and Alexis says it feels like he’s still there. Ava says for her too; he comes to her in her dreams and she can’t accept he’s gone. She says they haven’t found his body because it’s not there to find. She wants to pool their resources to try and find him, and in the meantime, she finds the bottle. Worst. Hiding. Place. Ever.

Sonny is surprised that Valentin hired Nelle. He didn’t think she’d stay in Port Charles. Laura says they don’t know Nelle like he and Carly do. He says Nelle is bad news, and Laura shouldn’t have anything to do with her.

Carly tells Sam that it takes a lot for Sonny to apologize, and he expects it to be accepted because he’s arrogant as hell. Sam says none of the other women Sonny has ever been with are the answer. She’s right; he’s arrogant and Sam doesn’t get it. She says women see the dimples, but underneath, he’s complicated, even scary. She doesn’t think there’s another woman strong enough for him. Carly asks what if she’s not strong enough anymore?

Jason says Franco is using their son to play Elizabeth. Elizabeth is like, thanks a lot for thinking I’m an idiot, and tells him that her eyes are open. She realizes that he has reasons to mistrust Franco. Jason says he despises Franco. He tortured Sam, and Jason doesn’t care about the tumor that was removed; he is who he is. Elizabeth tells him that he’s ignoring medical fact, and Franco is there because she trusts him. Jason says the boys will pay the price, but Elizabeth says Franco has no reason to hurt them. Jason says that Franco wants to play the hero. Franco says that Jake has a problem that needs to be confronted, but Jason says not by Franco. Elizabeth says Franco is a part of their lives and household, and get used to it; he’s not going anywhere. Jason says maybe Jake should then. If Franco is going to be spending so much time there, maybe Jake shouldn’t.

Elizabeth asks if Jason is going to try to take her son if she doesn’t fall in line. He says if she chooses to have a relationship with Franco, that’s her business, but Jake was doing fine until Franco came along. If he’s the cause of Jake’s problems, Jason is going to handle it.

Scotty tells Lucy that it’s time to give the pills back. Lucy asks why she should, and he tells her think of the children. Lucy says she was trying to shield Kiki, but maybe she should know the truth. She says that Kiki and Ava have a relationship based on deception. Scotty asks if Serena would see it that way. She doesn’t like drama, and that’s probably why she hasn’t visited. She asks if he’s threatening to tell on her, and he says if she doesn’t like the prospect, maybe she should reconsider.

Ava says she’ll take Alexis to a meeting, and Alexis tells her to mind her own business. Ava says that Julian tried to help her, and this is how she repays him, with a bottle of vodka. Alexis tells Ava to deal with Julian’s death in her own way and so will she.

Sonny says Nelle’s interest always come first – to hurt Carly and her family. Laura asks if that includes Michael. She saw them talking, and when she asked Michael about Nelle, he said they used to be friends. She had the feeling something was left unfinished. Sonny says Michael gives Nelle more compassion than she deserves, but his family always comes first. Nelle used Morgan’s death to get at them, and Michael will never forgive her for that.

Carly tells Sam that she and Sonny always come back to each other, but maybe they can’t find their way this time. She says that Bobbie thinks she and Sonny have reached tipping point. She likes Sonny, just not with Carly. Sam can’t blame her. Carly wishes things would go back to the way they used to be. but it feels wrong. As many times as they say they’ll never do it again, they do. Sam says it’s the marriage they have, but it doesn’t have to be the marriage she’s stuck with. A marriage is done when you’re done growing. Carly says maybe they’ve reached that point. Sam tells her that she’s admired them for years because their love is so strong. Carly needs to ask herself if she’s sure that they don’t have it in them to grow some more.

Elizabeth wonders why Jason thinks Franco is the problem. Franco tells her to look at the bright side; they didn’t get in a fist fight, and that represents progress. Elizabeth says it was disastrous, and thinks that Jason is on the verge of threatening war. Franco says that Jason loves Jake more than he hates Franco. He knows something is wrong. He’s never going to be their cheerleader, but so what? Elizabeth says for Jake’s sake, she needs him on board.

Scotty says that Sonny and Carly should go on with their lives. Lucy doesn’t believe he’s being moved by compassion. He says he knows her, and she always does the right thing so Serena will be proud of her. Lucy thinks there’s more than meets the eye. She says she’s a stand-up friend, and one friend who’s never hurt her is Sonny. She grabs a piece of bread, says “Ta!” and leaves.

Laura appreciates Sonny being candid and will take it to heart. She’ll do whatever it takes to protect her family. Sonny suggests a backup plan, since Nelle is a disaster waiting to happen. Laura says he’s still standing. Sonny says he doesn’t know if he has it in him to try again with Carly He loves her, but it’s like what they had isn’t there anymore. Laura tells him to dig deeper to find it, and make sure there’s nothing left before walking away.

Ava says she’s not going to let Alexis use Julian to start boozing it up again. Alexis says what she does with her life is none of Ava’s business. Ava asks her what life? and Alexis tells her to get out. Ava says she’s glad Julian’s not there to see what happened with his sacrifice; she’s not longer worth saving. Alexis guzzles some vodka, and Ava walks out.

Laura makes a phone call. She says that she thinks she knows how Nelle might prove useful.

Carly walks into Sonny’s house. He says he doesn’t like the way they left things, and she says she didn’t either. Sonny’s phone rings. It’s a real landline with a curly phone cord. He says he didn’t want to be interrupted, and then says send her up. I guess it’s literally the house phone.

Jason goes back home, and Sam tells him that he just missed Carly. Sam is worried about her. Jason says he was dropping Jake’s glove off. Something is wrong with Jake, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jason will have to deal with Jake’s problem, whether he likes it or not. She’s afraid he’ll demand a new custody arrangement. She feels like she has to play along, and Franco asks what that means. Is she breaking up with him? She says no, but maybe they should hold off on him moving in for the time being. Franco says she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, and she says that sorting things out with Jake is important. This isn’t what she wants, and Franco says, but it’s for the best. He tells her that if they’re doing this, they’d better get started, and leaves.

Alexis is passed out. Someone jiggles the door knob. She stumbles around and opens the door, thinking it’s Julian, but there’s no one there.

Ava comes back to the MetroCourt and sees Scotty sitting by himself. He says their business concluded early, and Lucy left, probably hungry. Ava asks if he got the pills, and he tells her to save the applause. There’s a problem.

Lucy is at Sonny’s door. He says that Max told him it’s something important. Lucy says she’s waited long enough and can’t wait another minute. She has the pill bottle in her hand.

Tomorrow, Tracy asks Ava for help, Valentin says he’s ready to make good on his promise to Alexis, and Laura tells Lulu that Nelle could be the answer.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s wedding time! Harrison! Dog whose name I don’t know! Lisa takes her place at the podium, and the attendants begin to walk down the aisle. Butter and Gordo! Where’s Giggy? Omg, I love Katie’s vintage brooch bouquet so much. I’m coming very close to buying one for myself. They’re not as expensive as you might think on Etsy. In his interview, Tom says he knew Katie would look good, but didn’t know she’d look this good.

Lisa starts by saying she’s been married over thirty years, so she has some advice – run. She gives the couple a list of do’s and don’ts, including not texting while on tequila. Schwartz says his vows, at first pretending that he forgot them. He says he was resigned to being LA’s most ineligible bachelor until Katie came along. In her interview, Kristen talks about how obsessed he was with Katie. Schwartz says he can’t imagine not waking up next to her in the morning. He talks about having to tear the relationship down to rebuild it, and says he’s never loved her more. He gets all teary, and no surprise, Tom does too, wiping his eyes on poor Butter’s head. Or maybe it’s Gordo.

Katie talks about the love, laughter, and tears, and how they persevered. She can’t wait to spend her life with Schwartz. Jax insists he’s not crying, but he is. The rings are exchanged, and we flash back to the ring on a string. In her interview, Katie says this is the real deal – her happy ending. Lisa asks if they take each other for richer or richer. (Not a typo.) They say their “I do’s,” and Lisa pronounces them husband and wife. Katie says they’re married AF.

The reception begins. In her interview, Lisa says this group has a way of working things out that makes no sense to her, but makes sense to them. The Schwartzes arrive. In her interview, Stassi says everyone thought that she and Jax were the glue that held the group together, but it’s really Katie and Schwartz; she and Jax were just the glue everybody sniffed. Ha-ha! She cracks me up. Carter tells Kristen that he likes when she’s drunk and has wedding fever. In her interview, Kristen asks who doesn’t think about getting married when they’re at someone else’s wedding. That would be me. Dinner is served, and Stassi makes Lisa a plate, since she’s used to serving her. Giggy!

Lisa asks Tom about marrying Ariana. He wants to, but says he’s never made an attempt at proposing. Lisa says she was like Ariana when she was younger, not wanting to get married or have kids, but things change, and it was the best thing that she ever did. She talks to Tom about partnering up for a new restaurant. In his interview, Tom’s head explodes over Lisa thinking of him as a potential business partner.

Schwartz’s brother Billy takes the mic. Nothing to see here. Brother Bert thanks Jax and Tom for getting them to the wedding. Billy takes the mic again. Still nothing to see here. Tom talks about Schwartz rubbing him the wrong way – said no one ever. He goes on about how wonderful Schwartz is. Stassi talks about them taking care of her a million times, and reminds me of a couple I was friends with in my single days, who talked me down many a time. In her interview, Katie says the wedding wouldn’t have felt complete without Stassi.

Time to drink and dance. Jax and Brittany step away from the crowd. Jax says he doesn’t think things are going well for them anymore. Because he’s the biggest idiot on the planet. Next to Lulu on GH. He says he loves her as a person, and then tells her that he’s kidding, . Because he’s still the biggest idiot on the planet. In her interview, Brittany says he was thisclose to having his weenie fed to the chickens. He says a wedding is going to happen; he just doesn’t know when. In his interview, he says she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and when the times comes, she’ll be the one. He wants her to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel, but IMO that’s debatable.

Lisa asks Katie when she’s having children. Good Lord, give her a minute. Scheana suggests that Ariana have a reception without actually getting married. At the bar, various guests toast to Katie and Schwartz. Tom tells Ariana about Lisa’s proposition. He says he’s been a bartender for ten years, and has always wanted to open his own place. He points out how happy and supportive Ken and Lisa are as a couple, and says he looks at Ariana the same way. In his interview, he says he’d love to be a dad someday. He tells Ariana not to worry, he’s not going to propose, but wonders if someday they’ll get married. In her interview, she says she loves him, but doesn’t know if marriage is something she wants. She’s not going to shoot him down yet though.

The cake is cut. Schwartz puts icing on Katie’s nose. Thank God they didn’t do that smushing the cake in each other’s faces thing. I hate that, and once saw a bride run to the bathroom in tears after the jackass she married did that to her. Although overall, it was the worst wedding I ever attended. Her father officiated, and forgot what state the wedding was in during his speech. That wouldn’t have been so bad, but looking back, I was sure it was a sign. The room was adjacent to a bar where there was a football game on TV, so every time the people at the bar made noise, we heard it. Because there was no music to drown it out. And it was a cash bar. Not even one “free” drink. And the wine was served in what I would call a juice glass, aka tiny. It was also the day after Christmas. I’ll stop now, since I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it. Scheana has barely seen Shay since the ceremony, and wonders what’s up. Lisa talks to Tom about Schwartz being “the face” of the new bar. She says he’d do a great job as a front man, and Tom could deal with what she does. She thinks they should call it Tom Tom, but doesn’t know if that will be a good idea when she’s sober. Schwartz joins them, and Lisa tells him about the new property, and how she and Ken want Tom to be involved, as well as for him to be the face.

Commercial break with important information. Southern Charm starts again next Monday, April 3.

Schwartz asks if Lisa is serious. He’s concerned that if it fails, it will be on them. In his interview, Tom says one whiff of responsibility and Schwartz runs. Lisa says almost the same thing, that he’s allergic to commitment. Since he already made a big one today, she says she’ll talk to him on Monday. Tom asks if Schwartz is busy in three months, and if not, why not open up a new bar with Lisa Vanderpump? Schwartz says he realizes that he’s over-thinking it, and Tom agrees.

Stassi asks if Ariana still thinks she’s annoying. In her interview, Stassi says she likes Ariana (why, I’m not sure), and it hurts her feelings when Ariana is mean to her. She asks Ariana if she’s closing herself off. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t have to be friends with Stassi. She tells Stassi that she’s doing the best that she can. She suddenly starts crying, saying she’s trying not to be a 30 year old bartender who’s doing nothing. Stassi says that’s not who she is, and that she shouldn’t feel sad about feeling sad. It’s okay to have emotions. Stassi tells her that nobody is great all the time, and you’re not a human being if you’re not sad sometimes. They manage to connect somewhat, and in her interview, Ariana has to admit that Stassi isn’t a monster.

More dancing! And Tom has another surprise. He’s brought his trumpet. Oh, yay, drunk trumpet playing. The sax player asks Tom not to play in his ear. Everyone is all happy and buzzed, and Shay finally shows up. Schwartz says that Jax and Tom are like family. He’d take a bullet for them. Maybe in the leg. Stassi wonders what it’s like to have someone love you that much. Katie says it’s amazing, and there’s someone out there for her. The Three Stooges Jax, Tom, and Schwartz talk about what great friends they are. Geez, without Kristen putting the boxing gloves on, weddings are pretty boring in La La Land. Kristen does announce that she’s not ovulating though.

Giggy and Harrison! Lisa signs the marriage certificate. Schwartz says it’s official now, and Lisa tells them, off you go. Katie says they’re very committed, and it would be way too easy to make a joke here. Lisa says thank God it’s over, and Ken gives her props for her officiating.

Three months later. Scheana gets together with Lisa at Villa Rosa. Scheana tells her that she’s found out some things about Shay recently. He goes MIA and doesn’t answer her calls. She says he hasn’t been at the apartment once in two weeks. Everything is not rainbows and sunshine like she’s been telling people. He’s with his parents, and Lisa says it’s been bullsh*t since she found out about Shay taking pills. In her interview, Lisa says she thinks Scheana knew in her gut that there was a problem, but didn’t want to admit it. Scheana tells Lisa that Shay has been taking Adderall for months. One of her friends had pulled her aside and let her know he’d been scoring pills, but saying he was just the middleman. She started checking his emails, and discovered that the bank account had been cleaned out. She says she can’t picture her life without him, but can’t picture it moving forward. Lisa asks if they connect at all, even in bed, and Scheana shakes her head. Lisa tells her that she’s young enough to start again. Scheana says they were talking about starting a family, but Lisa says you can’t start a family with someone who isn’t there. Scheana is going to meet with a lawyer because she’s done. She wants Shay to be able to look her in the eye and say he’s not doing drugs.

Scheana waits for Shay at the apartment. He asks what’s up, and she notices he’s gotten his ears pierced. She wants to know why he didn’t come home. He says that he wanted to figure some things out, not involving anyone else. He says he loves her, but she doesn’t listen, and now he got her attention. He wants to be happy, but can’t do it without her. She says the relationship isn’t good, and he says he’s been labeled a druggie, and no one treats him with respect. She asks if he’s on drugs, and he tells her no. He complains that she doesn’t treat him with respect either. She tells him that she talked to Lisa, and he says he has his own mother, and that Lisa should talk to her own kids. He says Scheana isn’t taking care of him the way she should, but she says he’s never home. He talks about the studio, and how productive things are there, and she wonders how they’re up all night without drugs. She asks about the bank account, and he insists he’s just buying music stuff. In her interview, she says she may never know the truth, but this isn’t the man she married. She tells him this really needs to be done, and she’s meeting with a lawyer. She says divorce isn’t easy, and wasn’t what she wanted. They both start crying, and she says he knows she’s right. He nods, and she tells him to get his stuff. In her interview, she says she’d planned on spending the rest of her life with him, growing old and having kids with him, and all she knows is that they’re done. Shay packs. The door closes behind him. This is really kind of sad.

Next time, the reunion, and the return of Lala. Godzilla with a cat eye.

🎉 And at another wedding on New Year’s Eve, 2010…

Giggy&GrandmaWrinkles

Mar21

March 20, 2017 – Charlotte Needs a Nanny, the VanderWedding Begins & a Couple of Other Things

Posted on March 21, 2017 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna gets a paper cut, which is a big deal if you’re on blood thinners. Andre drops by. He tells her about doing Charlotte’s evaluation.

Valentin, Nina, and Charlotte are having a celebratory meal at the MetroCourt. Valentin tells Charlotte that no one is ever going to take her away from him and Nina. Lulu and Laura walk in.

Tracy tells Hayden that she has good news for once. They got their first payment, and the hospital is on its way to financial solvency. She asks where Finn is, and Hayden says that he’s taken a leave of absence to deal with his addiction.

Finn is on hold with a rehab. He’s looking for an immediate opening. He tells Roxie it’s a wonder anyone gets clean. I can totally agree with this and identify. Several years ago, my alcoholic neighbor, who’d been drinking since he was in fourth grade, finally decided to get sober. I took on the job of calling rehabs, and it took at least a week to find him a spot in one. At the time, I said pretty much the same thing that Finn just did.

Sonny tells Carly that she’s always welcome at his house. She’s kind of testy, and says she’s there to figure out what’s going on between them and what they do next. She says losing Morgan and thinking Sonny killed him was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Finding out Sonny was innocent eased the anger, but the pain of Morgan’s death is still there. She says Nelle is like an ordinary pain – it hurts, but it’s not going to kill you – but losing Morgan was like a bottomless pit, a pain threatening to swallow her. She gets that Nelle used it to get Sonny into bed. Sonny asks if she sees it clearly, why can’t she get past it?

Anna tells Andre about talking to Olivia-J. He asks why put herself through that, and she says maybe she’s looking for closure. She and Duke only got pregnant once, and losing the baby changed the direction of their lives. She says seeing Olivia’s insanity only opened up old wounds, things she thought healed years ago. Andre asks if she got what she was looking for, but Anna says not really. She tells him that Duke never loved Olivia, but she tried to force it, and it doesn’t work that way. Andre agrees, probably thinking about Jordan. Anna asks about the evaluation. Andre explains that Lulu was granted six months of supervised visits and Valentin got full custody.

Nina suggests that she bring Charlotte to the office. She has a basket of treats she hasn’t tested yet. Charlotte gets all excited because she loves Nina’s office.

Lulu points out to Laura that Charlotte is there. Laura tries to focus on the menu. She says they all have to find a way to be in the same room. If Lulu shows anger, it’s going to go against her. On their way out, Valentin and family stop by the table. Laura asks Charlotte how she enjoyed her lunch, and Charlotte can barely respond. Valentin wants to talk to Lulu, but she tells him to leave her the hell alone. Honestly, either she is the stupidest human on the planet, or has absolutely no control whatsoever. Or maybe it’s PMS.

Finn thinks compared to the bureaucracy of getting into rehab, getting clean should be a piece of cake. He tells the rehab that he’s calling on behalf of one of his patients.

Hayden explains to Tracy about Finn going through withdrawal. She realizes she’s never known him when he’s been clean. Every decision that he’s made, including being with her, was when he was under the influence. Tracy asks why she’s not with him, and Hayden tells her that he wanted to do it alone.

Finn explains his own situation, but calls himself “his patient.” He hopes they can find an opening.

Valentin says they can arrange for Lulu to see Charlotte before the court appointed document is filed, so Charlotte can get used to being with her. Lulu balks at the weekly hour that Valentin offers. He says she scared Charlotte the two times they interacted, and he wants to ease her into it. Lulu acts like an idiot, so Laura steps in.

Tracy tells Hayden that of course he wants to do it by himself, but that doesn’t mean she should let him. Wherever he is, she needs to be with him.

Finn packs pretty much like I do, just tossing stuff into a suitcase. He tells Roxie that it’s only temporary, and Josslyn will take good care of her while he’s away. He says he wants to be someone better, and realizes how much time he’s spending chasing the drug. He finds a vial in the suitcase.

Nelle comes to the MetroCourt with a garment bag. Bobbie gets snotty with her, and Nelle says she gets it; she’s not welcome. Bobbie wants to know how she lives with herself, and calls her a bitch.

Sonny tells Carly that he should have caught on. Carly says he was skeptical at the beginning, and he says if something is too good to be true, it is. Don’t we all know it. She says someone with her life experience should have seen Nelle coming a mile away. She asks if Sonny ever really trusted Nelle, or was just going along with it for her? He says he saw how happy Carly was with her, and when Morgan died, the first couple of days he needed help, and she was there. She helped with Avery, and he let his guard down. She showed up on Thanksgiving, and he was alone, drinking. The weird thing is, that he remembers nothing – not kissing Nelle or even wanting to. He just woke up the next morning and she was in his bed. Carly asks how long after that did he decide to keep it a secret? Um…immediately?

Nina gives Charlotte a giant cookie and says they’ll bring the rest back to the house. She gives Charlotte some coloring/puzzle books. Valentin says that Mrs. Evans can help her later, because Nina has to work. After Nina settles Charlotte in, Valentin asks if she’s coming home tonight. She thinks they should be honest with Charlotte. She makes sure he’s not interested in Anna anymore, and says she’ll see him at home. I’d thought they’d settled that.

Anna tells Andre that if Valentin had just told Lulu she had a child, he could have avoided all this. I dunno about that. She realizes she’s a hypocrite, because she did the same thing, hiding Robin from Robert. Andre says maybe it was a complex situation, and Anna says maybe Valentin’s is too. She thought she knew him, but he wasn’t evil in the past and seems to love his daughter, yet at the same time he keeps hinting at knowing something. He knows why she put him on the kill list, but won’t tell her. Andre tells her she needs to focus on her health, but Anna tells him not to tell her how to live.

Mrs. Evans calls Nina. Nina says she’s sorry to hear it, they’ll miss her, and thanks for everything she’s done. She tells Charlotte that Mrs. Evans has to take care of her sick sister, but doesn’t know when she’s coming back. In the meantime, they’ll have to find another nanny.

Nelle says if Bobbie wants someone to blame, look in the mirror. Michael made her see she didn’t need revenge to be happy, and it would have stopped if Bobbie hadn’t interfered. Bobbie says Michael dodged a bullet, and would never be happy with her lying ass. She tells Nelle to get out before she throws her in the gutter where she belongs.

Carly tells Sonny that the worst betrayal is lying and covering it up. He says he didn’t want her hurt more than she was already. She says she could buy that, if Nelle was as innocent as she seemed. Sonny says he had to figure it out. Carly says she bought his explanation because she trusted him. He kept quiet and played into Nelle’s hands.

Anna apologizes. Andre asks if he can say something as a friend, who also happens to have a degree in psychology. She asks if she can stop him, and he says she’s not used to being afraid. Her condition is treatable, but makes her vulnerable. On top of it, she re-encounters someone from the past. It’s natural to want to tie up the loose ends. Anna says life isn’t that simple; it’s messy and full of contradictions. She says she glosses over her own mistakes – no, crimes – and she pushes them away, but when she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of how she was, and she doesn’t like herself very much. Andre says to be kind to her past self – she’s not the first to take a wrong turn, and give herself credit for choosing a better path. Allow her body and spirit to heal, and she can go back to kicking ass and taking names. He asks if they’re still friends, and she says of course. They hug good-by. Andre has one last piece of advice for now – steer clear of Valentin.

Laura tells Lulu that the next six months require a staggering amount of self-control. Lulu says when she saw Charlotte, she wanted to run across the room. Laura says she has to play the long game and have patience. Lulu asks what the long game is and how she gets her daughter back. My deduction is going toward she’s the stupidest human on the planet.

Nelle comes in while Nina is on the phone. Nelle asks Charlotte if she can help, and explains the puzzle to her. Nina watches Nelle working with Charlotte and smiles. Nina tells Nelle that Charlotte’s nanny just resigned. (How convenient!) Nelle says that she’s bringing back the dress that Nina gave her for work. Nina tells her to keep it, but she says that she’s no longer working for Carly.

Carly brings up Michael, and how much he cared about Nelle. She asks how could Sonny let her take advantage of their son? He should have said something as soon as he saw she had an agenda. Sonny says that he didn’t want to lose her again.

Tracy says if Hayden loves Finn, she’ll be there whether he wants her there or not. Hayden says she has to trust him enough to let him try. Tracy tells her that hopefully, he’ll be back on staff by the time the next check comes, and telling them how to spend it.

Finn doesn’t remember stashing the vial. The phone rings. A bed is available. They ask for the patient’s name and Finn hesitates.

Nina tells Nelle that she’s surprised, since Carly said she was the best assistant ever. Nelle says it was time they parted ways. Nina gets another call, and Nelle introduces herself to Charlotte.

Lulu asks if it doesn’t drive Laura crazy to watch Valentin trample her. Laura says she’s not in the same position as Lulu. If Valentin commits another crime, she’s in a position to take action.

Valentin rings Anna’s doorbell. He asks if he can come in, and she says what if she says no. he says he could break in like she did, but it would just perpetuate the dance between them, and he wants to end it.

Finn says his patient decided on alternative therapy, but thanks anyway. He apologizes to Roxie, and starts to prepare a shot, but he drops the vial and it breaks.

Sonny says he didn’t want to drive Carly away when she needed him most. He says if it wasn’t for him, she would have pulled the trigger on Olivia-J. She would have done the same for him. He says that’s what they do for each other. She’s told lies too, but she’s still the one he trusts the most. She knows him deep down in his soul, like he knows her. They kiss. He has a silver wedding ring. I never noticed that

Hayden tells herself that she trusts Finn. Tracy doesn’t. Tracy goes to Finn’s room and sees the door open. She goes inside and sees the broken vial on the floor. She wonders what Finn has done.

Laura says if the court believed Valentin was up to no good, it would tip things in Lulu’s favor. She’s suitably placed to get her hands dirty. If things fall out the way she thinks they might, Valentin will get what’s coming to him. Sounds like she’s setting him up. I hope it backfires.

Valentin says no more break-ins, hints, or public disagreements; he wants peace. His wife and daughter are the most important things to him. If she persists, he’ll remove her – for good.

Nina apologizes to Nelle, but Nelle says she’s happy to help. She wonders if she can apply for the nanny position.

Carly tells Sonny that she has to go. She says he was right. They screw up the day to day things. They’re great at the big stuff, and would give their lives for each other, but when it comes to creating a life, they always end up at the same spot. She thinks they should just let it go. Sonny tells her that it’s not going to change, and she says she loves him, and if she hasn’t stopped now, she’s never going to. She leaves.

Tomorrow, Obrecht wonders where Finn is, Anna wants to know the truth, and Nina asks Nelle why she’s not working for Carly anymore.

Vanderpump Rules

Taco Tuesday; Wedding Wednesday. Schwartz and Katie go over things with the wedding planner. They want everything to be casual and fun. Katie claims she feels very calm. She’s marrying her Bubba. Oh, they also had edibles this morning. Schwartz’s mother arrives, and he gives her a Fireball shot. He suggests a wine chaser.

Jax is freaking out because Schwartz’s brothers missed their flight. He spends his interview time trying to figure out which tense of “worse” to use, and ends up saying it just sucks. They had one job, to show up on time. Brittany says her one job is getting everyone to party.

Scheana thinks Shay’s behavior is “off,” and wonders what’s up with him. Everyone goes to the lake with gigantic floaties. Kristen says as many problems as they have with each other, they all love Schwartz and Katie. A bug flies by and Stassi flips out. She doesn’t like bugs or dirt. Tom, who also missed his flight, manages to get there. He apologizes, and says he realized that he forgot his suit when he got to the airport. He’s rented a truck for the fifty cases of Coors Light he picked up. Eww!

Ariana asks what’s going on with Schwartz’s brothers, and Tom tells her that they missed the original flight, and then missed the connecting flight. Ariana thinks it’s possible that they still might get there in time for the rehearsal dinner.

Lisa checks out the ceremony space. A train comes by just a few yards away, and she hopes that doesn’t happen during the service. I would guess the venue knows the train schedule and plans accordingly. She has no direction yet, and needs to talk to Katie and Schwartz. The two of them join Ken and Lisa. Katie goes over the ceremony plans with Lisa while Ken grills Schwartz on how the first night is going to be. Katie gets all teary when Lisa reads what she has so far. We flash back on some of the events leading up to the wedding. Katie says the words Lisa is reading are exactly why they wanted her to officiate.

The others come by to check out the space. In her interview, Brittany tells us about her future wedding plans at a castle in Kentucky. Kristen takes pictures. The planner instructs everyone for the rehearsal. Tom talks about when he, Jax, and Schwartz lived together, and remembers when Schwartz first brought Katie home. Lunch is served. Giggy! Everyone drinks, and Jax says he has a huge crush on Schwartz’s mother. He wants to marry her just so Schwartz has to call him dad.

We flash back on Stassi’s relationship with Katie. Schwartz gives his mom an expensive ring as something to remember the moment by. Stassi’s mother pressures her about the guy she’s seeing. Stassi gives her mother TMI to get her off her back.

The triplets have arrived! Bert, Billy and Brandon. Tom had to dress them, since they basically have no clothing. Tom tells Schwartz that he and Jax want to give him an early wedding gift. The brothers come out one at a time, and Schwartz starts to cry. He says his brain isn’t even processing the moment. Somehow, Katie was able to keep the secret. Tom is thrilled about how happy Schwartz is. Lisa marvels at the identicalness of the triplets. In her interview, she says that it’s buried deep, but she knew there was some good in Jax. Well, Brittany likes him. Jax says his mission was to get Schwartz to cry – mission accomplished.

Shay is fast asleep. More dogs! Lisa tells Stassi how much hope she had for her, and felt she walked away from it. Stassi apologizes for letting Lisa down, and Lisa says maybe she needed to grow up and figure it out for herself. Lisa thinks it takes a big person to admit they’re wrong, and Stassi is glad for the compliment.

Katie goes down Memory Lane with her father. Both of her parents are there, even though they split up years ago. She says they haven’t been together as a family for a while. In her interview, she talks about doing things differently than her parents. Scheana tells Lisa about how she had a Little Mermaid party as a kid and didn’t want to mess up the piñata. They talk about Shay, and Scheana says he’s in a good place and they’ve gotten their couple mojo back. In her interview, Lisa seems a little skeptical, because she never sees Shay.

Piñata time! I’m waiting for the condoms and Ninja Turtle action figures to fall out. The girls work on the piñata, while the guys drink inside. The guys join in on the piñata festivities, It finally breaks, but I can’t tell what was inside, and Schwartz feels that everyone getting along is a good omen of the future. Lisa talks to Katie about the vows. Katie still needs to finish hers. Schwartz joins them. They talk about age, and Lisa is glad for her life experience. Katie says she’s been married thirty years and they should listen to any advice she has. Omg though, Ken is the best! Schwartz says he has no doubts about marrying Katie, and then ruins it by saying she fulfills him. That’s like, you complete me. No, just no. Everyone says good-night.

It’s the morning of the wedding. Ah, to be young and not hungover so much after a night of drinking. The groomsmen go fishing. Schwartz says he’s not ready with his vows yet. Ariana tells him to write it out and not wing it.

Lisa is ironing and Ken watches. She tells him that she hasn’t used an iron since 1986. He wants a picture, and harasses her with his phone. She tells him to bugger off. The bridesmaids get their makeup done. Katie says she’s heard that the wedding day flies by (truth!), and she’s tried to make sure all the bases are covered so she can enjoy herself. Kristen has taken on the job of attending to any last-minute details.

Jax wonders why he has to dress 30-year-old men, and tends to Schwartz’s brothers. Katie’s mother gives her a ring box with a corny sentiment on it. Tom practices tying his bow tie on his leg. He’s brought all kinds of back-up clothing and offers it around, including socks for Schwartz. Jax says two weeks ago, it wasn’t looking good, but now it’s finally happening. Ariana says if they’re still together after all the arguing in Vegas, they should be together for life.

Two hours and counting. Rose petals are scattered. Lisa thinks everything looks lovely, but she’s nervous because it’s somebody else’s day and she doesn’t want to screw it up. Giggy! Lisa instructs the helpers on how to decorate the podium.

Schwartz writes his vows. He says he’s a master procrastinator, but he’s got this. We’ll see. Ohh! Katie has one of those bouquets made out of vintage brooches. I love those! She says everything is perfect…almost. The boning in her dress is painful. She thinks maybe tacos and margaritas the night before wasn’t the best idea.

Ariana has been a bridesmaid a few times, and is enjoying wearing a suit. Tom says love is in the air. Jax says this is it, one vagina for life, but all joking aside, he’s excited for Schwartz.

And now, the dress reveal. No big shock, it’s beautiful. Lace with nude material underneath, and a mermaidish hem. Katie is wearing a sparkly headband that the veil will be attached to.

Fifteen minutes to go time. Giggy! Harrison! Another tiny Pomeranian! Schwartz talks to his dad on the phone, and tells him how much he loves him. Last minute adjustments are done on Katie’s dress, and the veil is attached. Tom thinks Ariana looks great in her suit and he’s right. Lisa takes her place at the podium. Katie’s veil is about a million miles long. The attendants walk down the aisle. The last two carry Schwartz and Katie’s dogs. Dogs! Schwartz wishes he could freeze frame the moment. It’s perfect.

Next time, the season finale, Schwartz and Katie are pronounced husband and wife, the reception happens, Lisa acquires a new bar, and Scheana wants a divorce.

🐮 Okay, going to give Sweet Home Oklahoma a try. It revolves around three women who are close friends. Years ago, I visited a friend in a small town outside of Tulsa and had the best time! I had to laugh about the restaurants – I swear everything was beef with a side of beef. I also got my first taste of Sonic, since we didn’t have them here at that point. One very interesting place I visited was a segregated cemetery. (And yes, that’s the one time I forgot my camera.) I suggested my friend buck the system and get a plot in the non-white section, but she told me that if she did, she might be using it earlier than she wanted to.

Afternote: I wasn’t totally paying attention, but the show might have promise. There’s a French bulldog in it.

👻 Once in a while, I mention a film, and I have to mention Lights Out. As soon as I saw the trailer, I wanted to see this movie. Although not much actually scares me – maybe the morgage payment – I enjoy those creepfests where things pop out at you. This one delivered, although I wasn’t crazy about the end, suddenly presenting me with lofty ideals and self-sacrifice. It was the same way I felt about Mama. Loved it up until the last few minutes. If you want to mix nobility with horror, it had better be damn good. Thirteen Ghosts (2001) worked for me in that department. I have to admit, I’ll probably watch it again, since a large percentage of it gave good scare.

Mar14

March 13, 2017 – The Fun Never Ends in Port Charles, the Wedding Weekend Begins, Summer House Ends & Some Housewives Talk

Posted on March 14, 2017 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny visits Morgan’s grave. He has good news. Morgan’s killer is being brought to justice, and his family is holding up. He says they’re not sure they can prove who the killer is, and he and Carly split up. Sounds more like good news/bad news to me. He tells Morgan he did something very stupid, so don’t blame his mother. He managed to hurt her again. As he’s talking, Carly comes with flowers.

Ava’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J. She asks for Julian. She tells him that she decided she couldn’t take the chance meeting at Ava’s. She’s found a way to protect herself with someone who’s more valuable to him. He asks who’s more valuable than Ava, and Olivia says his precious ex-wife, Alexis.

Dante tells Jordan what Jason and Curtis are doing. She says what if the bomb detonates, and Dante says hopefully, the bomb squad will disarm it.

At this point, Finn is sitting on the floor looking all sweaty. He tells Hayden it doesn’t seem like there’s a fire, and wonders if it’s something worse. Hayden asks what could be worse than a fire? He says that he doesn’t want to find out. She tells him he looks awful, and he says it figures.

Sam yells at the police about wanting to find Jason, and Epiphany tells her to knock it off. She gives the baby to Epiphany, and goes back to arguing with the officer. Franco tells the police to quit hassling Sam, and she tells him there’s a bomb in the building. They hear an announcement saying that Jason and Curtis are inside with the bomb squad.

Jason tells Curtis to leave, but Curtis wants to wait for the experts. The bomb squad shows up, and asks how they’re doing. Curtis tells them that they’ll be doing better once the bomb is disarmed. They have just over three and a half minutes left.

Sonny tells Carly that he thought if he talked to Morgan he could figure things out. Carly says she’ll come back, but Sonny asks her to stay. He says that he should have been talking to her and asking her to forgive him. She says she doesn’t give a damn about Nelle. Her son is dead. Sonny says our son, but she says it doesn’t feel like it. She says the worst part was going through it all by herself, and having the pit in her stomach with nothing to fill it and no one to understand. Sonny tells her that he understands. Carly says when she realized that, the relief was overwhelming, but now it’s like she’s back to the beginning. He says it doesn’t have to be that way, and she says it does. He says that sleeping with Nelle was the biggest mistake, and he doesn’t even know how it happened. Carly says she’s forgiven him for worse, but he let her keep Nelle close. He says he tried to get rid of her. But he didn’t, Carly tells him, and he should have told her the truth. Sonny says he didn’t want to add to her pain, and Carly says he let Nelle take advantage of their family at its lowest point. He says he’s sorry, and she says she is too. She wants to spend time alone with Morgan.

Julian asks Olivia-J what she’s done to Alexis, and Olivia says he’ll find out when he meets her. She tells him come to the footbridge. Ava asks what’s going on, but Julian tells her that the less she knows, the better.

Hayden asks if Finn can wait this out. He tells her he’s going to be in full-blown withdrawal soon, and she should have left while she had the chance, before he starts throwing up.

Franco tells Sam that Jason wouldn’t want her anywhere near a bomb. She says that Franco should be in there, not Jason. Since Elizabeth is still in the hospital too, Sam asks Franco how it feels to be on the other side.

Jordan sees Elizabeth, and asks why she’s still there. Elizabeth tells her that she was helping to get patients out. Dante says that since Jason is Jake’s father, she should know what’s happening. He tells her about Jason being in the elevator with the bomb.

Curtis asks the bomb squad guy what wires need to be cut. The guy explains that the bomb has dual triggers, and both have to be disarmed simultaneously. Curtis refuses to leave, saying he can cut the wires himself. This is actually more practical than noble. The bomb squad guys have so much equipment on, by the time they trade places with Curtis, they’ll all be blown to smithereens. The guy gives Curtis the wire cutters. He tells Curtis that the same color wire will disarm both triggers. Curtis decides to go for the red one.

Carly tells Morgan that it’s typical of her and his dad to bring their issues to him. She says she couldn’t protect him in life, but she can try now. Her phone rings. It’s Ava, surprising the hell out of her. Ava says she’s desperate for a visit with Avery and can’t get Sonny on the phone. Carly says she’s at Morgan’s grave. Ava says she didn’t know. Carly says now you do, and hangs up. Carly tells Morgan she loves him, and leaves.

Alexis comes to on the footbridge, where she’s handcuffed to the railing. Olivia-J says sorry about the chloroform, and some sponsor she tuned out to be. Alexis asks why she’s doing this, and Olivia tells her that she doesn’t expect Alexis to understand. She’s learned there’s no line between love and hate. Olivia says she already has – my husband, who is home today, walks by and says something, and I have no idea what Olivia has now. Thanks, Ron.

Hayden wipes Finn’s forehead with a cool cloth. He says if he has to be stuck with anyone, he’s glad it’s her, but she doesn’t deserve this; she’s healthy and strong. Hayden says she’s where she wants to be. Her place is with him.

Sam tells Franco this is torture. They’re outside while the ones they love are inside. She says Elizabeth won’t die, because Jason is risking his life to save everyone. She says thank God he survived the ancient history of Franco trying to kill him.

Curtis realizes the red wires aren’t the way to go, and asks how Jason feels about blue. Jason likes blue. One…two…three…commercial.

An explosion sound is heard inside the hospital. Sam begs an officer for Jason’s status. He radios, but no one answers. Jason walks out. Sam runs to him. Guess blue worked.

Finn tells Hayden he’s still alive. He wonders if he heard a loud boom. Hayden says he’s not delirious, but nothing is raining down on them, so they must be okay. He asks what she’s going to do when she gets out. She tells him she’s going to help him kick his addiction. He asks why she’s wasting her time with him. She says he never ran, so she isn’t either. He says if something bad happens, she doesn’t have to keep her promise. She tells him that nothing bad will happen. A voice on the loudspeaker says the evacuation is officially over an everyone get back to work

Jason asks about Emily, and Sam says they need to get her and go home. Jason tells Sam that she’s going back to bed in the hospital. She makes him promise to come with her.

Jordan follows-up on Olivia-J. Curtis comes in. Jordan says he didn’t have to do what he did. He says he’s practically an expert. She mentions some case and says it doesn’t count, but he says he’s two for two. He wants her to admit she’s glad he’s alive. He reminds her that she was also knocked unconscious, and needs to see a doctor.

Franco sees Elizabeth and kisses her.

There’s a knock on Ava’s door. It’s Carly, who starts to bang on the door like a lunatic. Ava tells Carly she’s no longer a suspect, and there’s proof someone else planted the bomb.

Julian sees Alexis on the footbridge. Olivia puts a gun in his back and says right on time.

Elizabeth and Franco find Finn and Hayden. Elizabeth asks if Finn is sick, and Hayden says he’s going through withdrawal.

Sonny comes by Sam’s room. He says he heard Jason saved the day, but Jason says Curtis did most of the work. Sonny checks out Emily, saying she’ll give Avery a run for her money. Sam says she knows he’s thinking about Morgan, and she’s sorry. He says nothing to be sorry about; the baby is a blessing.

Carly says everyone kept telling her that Ava couldn’t be guilty, but Julian was talking to his sister on the recording. Ava says he was talking to his sister, but not to her. He was talking to the sister who supposedly died in 1990, but didn’t. She shows Carly an article about Olivia-J on her tablet, and says Carly can apologize now. Carly looks at Olivia’s picture and says she killed my son.

Julian tells Olivia-J to let Alexis go; she has nothing to do with it. Olivia says she has everything to do with it. She wants him to feel the same pain she did when he murdered Duke, and she lost the love of her life. The difference is, she isn’t going to kill Alexis, Julian is.

Elizabeth says she’ll help Finn, but she can’t let him go back to work in his condition. Hayden asks if she’s going to report him, but Elizabeth says his secret is safe as long as he takes a leave of absence.

Jordan tells Curtis that she feels fine, and there’s a madwoman running loose. He says as soon as she gets checked out, she can go back to work. He tells her that it’s good she has someone looking out for her.

Out in the hallway, Jason explains to Sonny about Olivia-J. He says it was only a matter of time before she made a mistake. He tells Sonny to go home to Carly, but Sonny says she wants nothing to do with him. Jason asks if she knows about Nelle. Sam pops out, saying that Emily is done eating. She asks if Sonny is all right. He says the woman who killed his son is still out there

Carly asks if Ava believes Olivia-J is alive. Ava says considering she saw her, she doesn’t have much choice. Carly asks why she didn’t call police, and Ava tells her that Olivia had her tied up and threatened the safety of someone she cares about. Carly says she thought that Ava cared about Morgan. Carly tells Ava that she doesn’t want the police finding Olivia; she wants to find her first, and make her pay in ways she couldn’t imagine. Ava says she guesses prison won’t suffice, and Carly asks if it would had it been Kiki? Ava says no, but keep in mind that it wasn’t Olivia’s intention. Morgan shouldn’t have been in the car. Carly says you don’t get to plant a bomb and say oops, didn’t mean it, when there’s collateral damage. There’s nothing she could say or do to get Carly to forgive her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that he’s going to shoot Alexis. He laughs, saying that she’s missing the mark. He says Alexis and he are done; they have no love for each other. Olivia says that any fool can see he’s madly in love with her. She’s learned that pain and love are two sides of the same coin, and he’s learning that lesson. If he doesn’t do it, she will. She gives him the gun. He tells Alexis that he’s sorry, and shoots.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam to cherish every moment with the baby. He leaves, and Sam says she feels awful for him. Jason agrees, and asks how she is. She says fine right now, and snuggles against him.

Finn signs a request for a leave of absence, and thanks Elizabeth for her discretion. She says just make it count. Franco brings in a wheelchair to take Elizabeth back to work. Finn wants to take Hayden up on her offer of help, but feels that it’s something he needs to do on his own.

Dante confirms to Jordan that she needs to be checked out. Curtis is glad for another voice of reason.

The chain on the handcuffs is broken. Julian tells Alexis to run.

Epiphany comes to get Jordan. Jordan tells Curtis that he doesn’t have to wait, but he says he does.

Carly picks up an empty martini glass, and asks Ava if it was Olivia-J’s. Ava says Julian always said that Olivia was a lunatic, and he wasn’t kidding. She tells Carly that she doesn’t want to repeat the experience of meeting her, and Carly says she won’t have to, and smashes the glass against the wall.

Sonny calls in favors. He wants the bitch who killed his son.

Julian and Olivia-J struggle over the gun. Alexis starts to run and a shot goes off. Olivia looks into the water. Well, either Julian is in the water or Olivia is going to keel over into it.

Tomorrow, Carly talks to Morgan some more, Sonny asks Curtis for help, and Jake refuses to talk about what happened on the island with Helena.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom plays a trumpet while dog Charlotte gives him the side eye. Jax stops by, and asks about bringing Tom’s triplet brothers in for the wedding. He’s concerned about the expense because they’ve waited until the last minute. The triplets still live at home in Yuli, Florida. I mention the town because Tom says it’s some place no one has heard of, but I just sent an eBay order there not that long ago. Tom calls and asks if the brothers can make it if he and Jax spring for the tickets. Tom wants it to be a surprise, and Jax seconds that. Jax says the triplets love their brother, but aren’t the most responsible guys on the planet. I’d say so, since they’re still living at home and they’re not children. Or even college students.

The bridesmaids go for a fitting. Nice dresses! Katie shows up, and is impressed with how the girls look. She says everyone is going to look fantastic, especially her. Well, let’s hope so.

Schwartz has the responsibility of going to Dylan’s Candy Bar and getting candy for the wedding favors. Jax loads up on candy corn, and Tom says he’d rather let Jax bang his girlfriend than eat candy corn. I don’t know about that, but I personally find candy corn stomach-turning. Jax calls it a favorite Halloween treat. I didn’t even like it when I was a kid. It was one of those dud candies. Chocolate or die.

Stassi talks about some upcoming dates, but she doesn’t want to bring anyone to the wedding. She wants to hang out with her friends and stalk the eligible bachelors. They discuss Katie working on her anger issues.

Schwartz says he fell apart in NOLA and was a mess. Now, moving forward, he’s left lingering resentments behind. I’d actually be more concerned about Katie’s lingering resentments.

At SUR, Katie tells Jax and Scheana about her date night with Schwartz. Scheana says better to fix the problems now than after they have kids. She’s thinking about next summer for her, but Jax thinks that’s too soon. They talk about Stassi dating again. Scheana tells them that Shay is working on something special for her in the studio, but Jax wonders if it’s just avoidance.

Lisa finds two horses outside of the restaurant. She says there’s always an aura of magic and surprise in West Hollywood, and always expect the unexpected. She gets on one of the horses and rides into the restaurant. Not really, she rode about half a block, but that would have been cool.

In the restaurant, Lisa tells Jax he needs to be more heavy-handed in pouring Sangria. She tells him the glass is barely wet and in her interview, says he pours for her like he’s her date on prom night. He tells Lisa about Scheana wanting kids soon, and thinks Shay is avoiding her. He says he’s always thought she could do better, but Lisa says it’s not her business unless Scheana makes it her business. Thank you. And I wouldn’t blame Shay for avoiding this crowd if he wants to stay sober. I’m sure they have other friends, right? Right?

Stassi is doing a photo shoot to get her mojo back. If some of the photos are hot and not too risqué, she’s going to use them for her dating app. Seeing Tom dressed as a woman has encouraged her to up her game. She talks to Katie about the wedding, and says it’s getting real now. She realized how much she cared about their friendship when they were apart, and says it feels good to be friends again. The photographer has Stassi put on a barely there body suit. Stassi says there’s something liberating about letting it all hang out.

Brittany scares Jax by telling him that she discussed Schwartz’s with Kristen. She tells him to calm down, and reminds him that he’s the one with the biggest mouth in town. He claims Kristen is worse, but, no.

Raquel’s mother and sister come to visit. James says that dating her is a world of difference from dating Kristen, and I’m not repeating the analogy he gives. James tells them that he’s not working at SUR or PUMP anymore. He says he kept getting into “situations.” We flash back to him getting drunk and behaving like a rabid animal, and Lisa telling him that he’s turning into an a-hole before her eyes. He says he has a gig at a new restaurant, and he hasn’t been drinking. He promises that he loves Raquel, and the family thing means a lot to him. In his interview, he talks about his parents’ divorce, gets all teary, and says he sees a future with Raquel. Her mother proposes a toast, and everyone loves everyone.

Katie and Schwartz are getting ready to leave for the wedding. Stassi comes over to help them. They’re bringing a cake and a piñata. Stassi says the piñata is probably filled with condoms, gummi bears, Ninja Turtle action figures, and maybe some weed. Ha-ha! I love Stassi’s sense of humor. Schwartz says they like taking road trips, and he likes Katie doing the driving. Stassi takes a going away picture.

Lala shows up at SUR while Ariana is on her break. In her interview, Ariana says she hasn’t seen Lala since the birthday debacle, and it sounds like she’s not too interested. Lala has some things to say in person. She’s serious about how sorry she is. She tells Ariana that she’s embarrassed about her actions in not showing up for Ariana’s birthday. Ariana has been a good friend, and she’s sorry how she handled things. She tells Ariana that sometimes when she can’t manage her life, she goes into shut-down mode. In her interview, Ariana says she wants to give Lala another chance, but she’s not going to pretend nothing happened. Lala asks if Lisa is there, and asks Ariana to pray and/or give good vibes. She goes inside.

Lisa asks Lala what the hell happened. Lala explains about shutting down, and how when that happens, it’s f-u to everyone, and she does what she wants to do. Lisa says owning it doesn’t absolve her from taking responsibility. She had Lala’s back, and Lala let everyone down. Lala says she feels embarrassed and awful. Lisa says she left them hanging, but they survived without her. She doesn’t think Lala was honest with her life, and Lala says she doesn’t think anyone there is worthy of hearing about her life. Not too entitled sounding. Lisa is like fine, keep your life private then, but when you lie, don’t expect people not to call you on it. Lala gets weepy and says she’s different from other people, and her anxiety prevents her from doing a lot of things. Lisa tells her to grow from it. In her interview, Lisa says Lala’s entire strategy is being young and pretty, which isn’t going to last forever. She tells Lala to keep in touch.

Tom tells Katie he’s excited, but he misses his brothers.

Kristen and Carter are packing. Kristen explains the logistics. She asks if he knows about Schwartz’s brothers, and tells him about the surprise. She whispers like Schwartz is in the next room.

Oooh! A bear! Katie says it’s the first bear she’s seen, and Schwartz says there are bears all over West Hollywood. HAHA! (Google it.) They get to the cabin, and the venue people help them with the cake. The co-owner goes over expenses. An extra 10K for the flower additions. I faint. Aside from my bouquet, and bud vases for the tables, my flower budget was zippity-doo-da. I couldn’t justify buying flowers for an hour’s service, and the caterer/planner decided on the centerpieces. $51,058 is the grand total. I pick myself back up off of the floor again, and I can’t even repeat what Schwartz says in his interview. That’s a lot of money for a wedding in the woods. Katie thinks they should drink, write the check, and chill. I’d have to down a lot of booze to write a check in that amount for anything except real estate. I’d have to be drunk to begin with to spend that much on a wedding.

Kristen and Carter arrive. Schwartz says he could be clear of student loan debt, but instead he’s writing a check for flowers and a buffet. Student loans for what? Schwartz has a degree? What is he doing with his life? Stassi is next, bearing the piñata. Her friend Rachael is with her. They had some travel problems, and she says they ended up having to navigate by the stars. Katie tells her about the bear. She can’t believe everything the group has been through, and says being there together is a testament about how much they care about each other. She feels lucky to have a “framly.”

Tom missed his flight because he forgot his suit, but I don’t know if that’s just a story to cover for picking up the brothers. Schwartz talks about his dad not coming because of a flying fear, his sister having to work, and that his brothers not coming because of finances. I’m thinking if the wedding cost that much, what was another $1500 to get them there (which is what it ended up costing for three tickets at the last minute).

Jax says Schwartz’s brothers share a cell phone, so communication hasn’t been the greatest. He’s not going to relax until they’ve arrived.

Scheana is looking forward to spending time with Shay. She shows Shay a pantsuit she’s considering for the rehearsal dinner. He tells her that when he does laundry, he doesn’t even know what half the things are that she wears.

Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken arrive with the dogs, Pandora, and her husband. The desk clerk tells them about the great hiking nearby, and Lisa says the last time she did a hike, it was to Neiman Marcus. Their room is bi-level and beautiful. Lisa can’t believe this is actually happening. Ken wonders If Schwartz is going to back out. We flash back to a few times when he’s quit what he started. Giggy!

Everyone manages to get to the venue in one piece, minus Tom. Schwartz tells Jax that his and Brittany’s room is where the saloon used to be. Ariana says Tom made it to the gate just as it closed, and she could see his nose pressed against the window glass as the plane took off. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was my mental picture. Jax tells Brittany he has to call Tom, since Schwartz’s brothers missed the flight

Next time, the gang goes tubing, the piñata happens, lots of booze is consumed, the brothers arrive, and the wedding begins.

🏖 Summer is finally over on Summer House. The most boring show ever. Weekend at Bernie’s is a better illustration of the Hamptons. It was tough for me to keep the names straight. Everyone looked alike, and I swear all the girls were named Lindsay. There was a Kyle and a Carl for God’s sake. Kyle was one of the few I could decipher, probably because the show started with him striking out with Stassi, who was spending a weekend there. In the finale, he made a commitment to his girlfriend, Amanda, whom he invited out for the final weekend. Most likely after discovering that no one else would have him. Sadly, the Pegasus pool float didn’t make it, and Carl had to stage a burial. He said that Pegasus deflated was the perfect metaphor for the summer, and I tend to agree. There was no indication of a reunion. Hope this group enjoyed the fifteen minutes they got off of Stassi’s coattails.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra staged a weird friendship intervention that she called a “restoration meeting.” This made it sound like there was something spiritual about it, but it was more like a grievance airing. Cynthia could barely keep her eyes open, and to no one’s surprise, Porsha couldn’t understand why it was bad to make up criminally prosecutable lies about Kandi when she felt hurt. While for a moment, it was disquieting to think that Phaedra could be the voice of reason, as Kandi so aptly put it, the meeting was an epic fail. The saddest thing was Sheree having a come-to-Jesus moment about her ex, Bob Whitfield, who still doesn’t understand what he did wrong.

🗽 The Real Housewives of New York: How They Got Here airs on Wednesday, March 15, at 9 pm. As with Southern Charm, it’s a retrospective. I guess this is a thing now, and who can blame Bravo? Why not milk the franchises for all they’re worth? I’d hate to be that guy – and you know there was one – who thought Bravo was a complete waste of time and effort and would never turn a profit. Hopefully, he didn’t sell his stock.

Mar7

March 6, 2017 – Nora Buchanan Comes to Port Charles, SUR’s Annual Photo Shoot & Scary Summer House

Posted on March 7, 2017 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Diane goes the bar and orders a double espresso because she needs extra caffeine for the case coming up. She gets chatty with the woman next to her. She talks about her opposing counsel, Nora Buchanan. Which is who she’s sitting next to, although she doesn’t know it yet. I guess she never watched One Life to Live.

Nina deals with the ringing phones in the office. Valentin comes in, and hangs up the phone. Nina is still annoyed with him about Anna.

Anna is packing up. Dante sees her checking her weapon. He asks if she’s leaving, and she says that’s a good observation. He asks if her doctor knows. She thanks him for caring, but says she’s not going to just wait there while Olivia-J is alive and on the loose.

Franco gives Elizabeth a ride to work, and they flirt in the garage. He points out that Ava and Julian have a sister crazier than they are. He says crazy doesn’t discriminate, and he wants her to be safe.

Dante talks to Anna about Olivia-J’s obsession with Duke. He says there’s a good chance Olivia is out to get her, and she says she’s counting on that.

Olivia-J has Robin prisoner. She tells her that they have a lot of work to do, and need to get cracking. She is a lot of fun. I guess that’s why they made her kooky/aggressive instead of just aggressive. It gives leeway to bring her back again.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Olivia-J does give her the creeps. He asks about Sam. Elizabeth says she’s doing well, considering. Franco suggests she not to talk about it if Jake can hear. He explains about his conversation with Jake, and how Jake said Sam had a bad curse on her.

Olivia-J tells Robin that it’s a blast from the past, and congratulates Robin on her success. She takes the tape off of Robin’s mouth. Robin says everyone thought she was dead, but Olivia says she’s back and better than ever, and that circumstances dictated her return. Robin asks if it has anything to do with her family. Olivia says it has to do with the murder of her one true love, Duke.

Anna leaves a message for Robin. She complains to Dante about Robin being over-protective, and Dante says that Robin was just concerned for Anna’s health. Anna says she’s not an invalid. She tells him that they have to get Olivia-J out of hiding, and she’s the perfect bait. Griff is in the doorway, and says he hopes she’s talking about her dating life.

Valentin tells Nina that he wasn’t with Anna, and gives Nina a picture that Charlotte drew for her, saying that Charlotte was asking for her. She wants to see Nina in the morning, and so does he. Nina says she loves being Charlotte’s stepmother, but doesn’t love him keeping secrets.

Nora says it sounds like Diane has a fight on her hands. Diane goes on about covering all the bases, and realizes that she’s doing all the talking. Nora says she knows who Diane is, an attorney by day and novelist by night, and asks when the new book is coming out. Diane is flattered that she has a reader, and says lately her duties as an attorney have been taking up all of her time. It’s nice to see Nora again. I got to meet her on the OLTL set, and she was lovely and gracious. Actually, all of the people there were, both cast and crew. Bo winked at me. Ah, memories!

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake has some unresolved issues about being on the island with Helena, which he pronounces He-leen-a. Elizabeth says that Jake seems fine, and thinks he just needs to be a kid for a while. She asks Franco to pick her up later.

Diane says normally she doesn’t take custody cases, and Nora asks why this one. Diane tells her that she’s on retainer for a particular man with a particular reputation, and he wanted his daughter-in-law to have the best representation possible. Nora asks how she wins a custody case, and Diane talks about discrediting the other parent without looking like a shark, and that the focus should be on the best interest of the child and trying to compromise.

Laura and Lulu walk in. Diane is about to introduce them, and says she didn’t catch Nora’s name.

Nina asks Valentin why Anna broke in, and why it doesn’t make him angry. He says he doesn’t know how he would have reacted if Anna hadn’t collapsed, but she did, and he doesn’t want to make her life more miserable. He says Anna is the past, and Nina and Charlotte are the future. He asks if they’ll be able to present a united front at the custody hearing.

Griff says he’s not signing off on Anna’s paperwork, and Finn isn’t either. Dante tells her not to do anything stupid because he’ll be in court. They wish him luck.

Robin asks if Olivia-J wants revenge on Julian ordering the hit on Duke. Olivia says that by the time she was able to reunite with Duke, Julian had taken him away again. She’s come back to right Julian’s wrong; she has to restore balance at General Hospital. Robin asks what that means. She says obviously she has to bring Duke back. Obviously.

Nina tells Valentin that she didn’t realize how different they are. His spy training was good, because he’s impossible to read, while she wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s angry and confused, and Valentin says she should think about what she wants, meanwhile he’ll be in court fighting for it.

Valentin comes into the bar and introduces his attorney, Nora, to everyone.

Elizabeth comes back to the garage, and Franco admits he’s the new garage attendant. He says it was available, and she has three boys to take care of. She says he’s charming, talented, and thoughtful. They lean against a car to kiss, and hear something in the trunk.

Olivia-J says she would think that someone with Robin’s skills, knowledge, and education would be more aware. She’s studied every culture and philosophy, and seen miracles happen. She’s expanded her consciousness. She tells Robin that death is a transitory state, and sometimes we need to give life a happy end. Robin is like, are you resurrecting Duke in the hospital basement? Olivia says don’t be stupid; they’re in a boiler room, but they need GH. She opens a secret door, saying this is it; this is the lab where Helena breathed new life into Stavros.

Anna says she’s following all the rules, and Griff says Finn told him that she’s just following the rules she likes. After mumbling about patient/doctor confidentiality, she tells Griff that a higher priority has emerged – Robin.

Olivia-J looks around the lab, bringing Robin along. Robin thought it had been destroyed. Olivia says she found out it wasn’t, and asks Robin if she’s familiar with the machines. Robin says she is, and they look damaged, but she’s a doctor, not an engineer. Olivia asks how Helena resurrected her son. Robin says Stavros wasn’t exactly dead. The machines just kept him alive while he was healing. She says the machines aren’t going to work on Duke; he’s not coming back.

The car alarm goes off and Elizabeth calls for help. She pops the trunk open, and Franco says it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Elizabeth sees Julian in the trunk.

Nina looks out the window, not getting any work done. She flashes back to Valentin telling her he loves her, and how she was afraid of saying it back. She thinks about Valentin telling her that Anna is the one stuck in the past, and Nina is hung up on what the other men in her life have done to her.

Diane tells Nora that her reputation does her justice, and she’ll be a formidable opponent. Nora says she’s right about compromise being the name of the game – unless her client refuses to compromise. Diane says this is the first time they’ve met, but she learned something. Nora says her too, and leaves with Valentin. Diane tells Lulu and Dante that Valentin has a good lawyer, but theirs is better.

Anna says she thinks Olivia-J wants to exact revenge on Julian, and that she was madly in love with Duke. She tells Griff about how she was pregnant with Duke’s baby, and Olivia rigged the elevator to crash and she has a miscarriage. Griff asks if that was the intention. Anna doesn’t know, but it served Olivia’s purpose. She has to find Olivia before she targets Robin. Hurting Robin is the surest way to hurt her. Elizabeth runs in, saying she’s there about Julian.

Olivia-J asks if Robin is all science and no faith. Robin says she wishes they could bring Duke back too, but it’s not how the machines work. Helena had Stavros’s body, but Duke was cremated. Olivia takes something out of her bra, saying she’s been carrying it for years. I could make a lot of jokes here, but moving on. It’s a lock of Duke’s hair, and she says the DNA should be enough. Robin says it’s not. Olivia says she can’t give up on Duke, and Robin says she understands. She lost her first love too, but can’t bring him back, the same way she can’t bring back Duke. All they can do is live their lives in their loved one’s honor, and Duke would want Olivia to be happy. Olivia says it’s not possible without him. Robin says she’s moved on, and Olivia can too. Robin reaches toward Olivia, and Olivia drops the vial. It shatters, and she tells Robin, look what you made me do.

Olivia-J says Robin destroyed the last pieces she had of Duke. Robin says that’s not true; he left a piece of himself in each of their hearts. Olivia says that’s not good enough. She says Robin did have one good idea though. Maybe he left another piece of himself.

Anna asks how Julian is. Griff says it’s not that severe, and he’ll recover. Anna is having the car checked out. She wonders why Olivia-J would leave Julian alive. Perhaps there’s another reason she came to town, other than getting even with him. She says good thing Olivia doesn’t know about Griff.

Diane apologizes for her lapse in judgement, saying it won’t affect the case. Lulu says Valentin murdered her brother, but Diane reminds her that there’s no proof. It helps their case that he’s had an unsettled undocumented life, but Nora will present him in the best light possible.

Nora tells Valentin that Diane is good. When she found out who Nora was, she barely blinked. She makes a nice living making sure Sonny stays out of prison and gets what he wants. Valentin says that’s why he hired Nora. She tells him to be careful how he presents himself. She asks about Nina, and he says he doesn’t know if she’ll be joining them. At all.

Nina calls Charlotte. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t tuck her in, but she had a grown-up work thing. She promises she’ll make it up to her. She asks what Charlotte wants her to do, and if Charlotte would like to sing with her. She sings as she looks at a photo of the three of them, and starts to choke up. Oh come on, we know you’re going to help. Get to the hearing already.

Lulu says Maxie texted her, saying Valentin and Nina are on the rocks. How she knows this, I’m not sure. Lulu says that if the marriage is unraveling, they’re not providing Charlotte with a stable home, and Diane says they can spin this. Lulu says they have to act fast while the problems are hot.

Nora tells Valentin to apologize, whatever it takes, get Nina there. He says it’s not going to happen. She says he’s a man with a questionable past, while Lulu has stacks of affidavits to support her as a parent. If he doesn’t present to the court that he’s the preferable parent, he’ll have to share custody or lose it entirely.

Lulu tells Dante that they should take advantage of the situation. Dante says they could push Nina away from Valentin or back into his arms.

Nina looks at her calendar, seeing the entry for the hearing. Laura comes in. Nina says it’s not a good time. Laura says she’ll want to make time; she has a proposition.

Griff asks Anna to be careful. She promises she will. Anna says if he sees Robin, tell her to stop dawdling, but she’s not leaving Julian until the police get there. Griff leaves, and Anna calls Julian a cat with nine lives. He asks where he is, and she tells him he’s in the hospital, and that he was found tied up in the trunk of a car. She asks if Olivia-J did this.

Olivia gets in the elevator with Griff.

Anna asks Julian where Olivia is, and why she put him in the trunk. He says she’s here and never left.

Griff remembers Olivia from the garage. She’s flattered that he recognizes her, and says she could never forget him. He reminds her of her one true love, his father, Duke.

Tomorrow, Laura tells Nina that they can both have what they want, Anna asks Julian where Olivia-J is, and Olivia-J kidnaps Griff.

Vanderpump Rules

Everyone manages to get back from Vegas without getting arrested. Jax shows Lisa their drag pictures. She tells Tom that he looks better as a woman. She asks if Schwartz and Katie had a good time, but Jax says they didn’t sleep in the same bed for the first two nights and fought 80% of the time. Lisa decides to talk to Katie.

Scheana and Ariana talk about the fighting. Ariana doesn’t think it’s a good solution to bottle up the problems until after the wedding. She wonders how you retrain yourself not to fight like that.

Harrison! The SUR photo shoot is coming u,p and we flash back to the previous ones. This year’s theme is indulgence. Lisa asks Katie about the fighting during the party weekend, but she passes the blame to Schwartz. Lisa says if they keep going in that direction, they could lose each other. In her interview, Lisa says this is more than pre-wedding jitters, and if they can’t get along on vacation, how are they going to get it together IRL?

Stassi and Kristen go to lunch. Kristen brings her dog Gibson along. He’s a certified service dog; she got him a card for $79. She says she won’t stab James in the heart while Gibson is with her, so whatever works. Stassi fills out a dating app profile on her phone. She tells us that desperate times call for desperate measures, and she does not want to date any more bartenders.

Katie and Schwartz visit Lisa. Schwartz doesn’t trust the swans. I probably wouldn’t either. Lisa asks what they still have to do. Katie says they still have some catering stuff to deal with, and one more thing. A guy dressed like a butler comes to the door. He proclaims Lisa the fairest in the land, and tells her that Katie and Schwartz request that she officiate at their nuptials. She tells them that she’s totally overwhelmed and didn’t expect it, and Schwartz says they wanted something special. Lisa tells them she takes marriage seriously, and the way they’ve been behaving gives her cause for concern. We flash back to Katie telling Lisa about various fights with Schwartz. Lisa says it has to be a new chapter in their lives, and she wants to make sure they’re taking responsibility. Schwartz says everything they’ve been through has overshadowed the relationship. Katie starts to cry.

In her interview, Katie says they have big problems, and they have to face them. She tells Lisa that she wants to be with Schwartz. She says they let themselves forget who they were, and she and wants to get back to that. Lisa wants to know they’re really committed to each other before she agrees.

The kids go to the beach for some sun, and drinking in a different atmosphere. Stassi says she had a date and made out all night long. She’s not looking for anyone to put a ring on it though – unless the ring is really big. Schwartz tells them about asking Lisa to officiate, and how they ended up having a sit-down and it got heavy. She wants to make sure they love each other before she says yes, and Schwartz agrees it’s been a disaster lately. Tom says the friends have overstepped boundaries, but it was out of concern. Dolphins! (I’m like a person with ADD when I see animals.) In his interview, Tom says that only Lisa has the balls to say what everyone is thinking.

Schwartz suggests that he and Katie not be a-holes anymore. Good luck with that, especially hanging around this crowd. He says they’re supposed to be unflappable, but they’ve been majorly flappable. He almost picks up something on the beach, but Katie tells him not to touch it; it’s a tampon. Ugh! This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, since I live near a beach. Anything plastic really.

Lisa goes to the stables to visit Prince Tardon, her new horse. Ariana comes along to go riding with her. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t know if she could have a bigger lady crush on anyone. Me too. She tells Lisa that she talked to Schwartz, and Katie feels guilty. In her interview, Lisa is glad they’re taking her seriously, but they have a lot of work to do. She asks Ariana if she’s ever getting married, but Ariana is not too keen on babies. Lisa says talk to her in five years.

Stassi visits Kristen. She says she’s a recovering serial monogamist, and it’s the first time she’s dated in seven years. She’s going on a blind date tonight, and says he has the best Instagram she’s ever seen – no gym selfies. Kristen wants her to bring condoms, but Stassi says she’s not doing anything on a first date. Kristen thinks she needs to break down the wall she’s put up. I dunno. It looks like she’s doing just fine to me. These days, it probably isn’t a good idea to not have sex right off the bat. To be honest, it probably wasn’t in my day either, but we had fewer STD and STV concerns.

Tom is treating the guys to a spray tan session at Jax’s house. What happened to lunch at a restaurant? On top of it, he calls it a “sesh,” which makes me cringe. Schwartz announces that he and Katie had sex last night. Tom says mission accomplished. Schwartz asks who can get ordained quickly in case Lisa says no. In his interview, he says having Jax do it would be like Lucifer baptizing you.

Stassi meets blind date David. She says it’s like interviewing someone to evaluate if you eventually want to have sex with them. Kinda. They start with some wine and nice to meet yous. It sounds like he does something with computers, and when he tells her that he gets up at 7 am, she nearly has a coronary. Stassi is convinced that she’s pretty because she sleeps late. She talks about feeling pressured with her last relationship, but says maybe she felt that way because he was the wrong person. In her interview, she says that David is the kind of guy she should want to date, but she’s not feeling it. I have to say it, he does seem boring, and I understand why. Sorry, David.

Schwartz brings home some props for the photo shoot. There’s a pig with an apple in his mouth (I assume papier-mâché), a bunch of grapes, and other food items. Schwartz puts a towel over the pig’s head, saying the eyes are following him. Katie goes over the wedding budget. In his interview, Schwartz says Lisa suggested they be in each other’s presence and reaffirm their love, so they’re trying. He tells her that he feels terrible about what happened in Vegas, but she says she wants to leave it behind them. In her interview, she says she has no more doubts about him, and got the answers that she needed. He says he just wants to get take-out and watch Pauly Shore movies with her for the rest of their lives. Really? He’s not sounding much better than David. Worse. At least David has his Instagram going for him. In his interview, Schwartz says his confidence over the wedding has wavered, but in the past few days, they’ve brought back the reason they’re doing it.

Time for the photo shoot. It’s Brittany’s first, and she says she feels like part of the family. Ariana says it’s like the awkward office Christmas party you have to go to, but at this party, she’s naked. That actually sounds like one of those recurring nightmares. A table is set with a sumptuous feast, the pig at the center. Jax thinks they should update the website with the new photos, since they still show Kristen and Stassi, who haven’t worked at SUR for years. Tom has come prepared for anything – formal, casual, bright colors, muted colors. The photographer takes some shots of the girls fully dressed first.

Stassi and Kristen go out for lunch. I don’t know what it is, but it looks good. Thai maybe? Kristen gets a text from the girls about the photo shoot, saying be glad you’re not here. Stassi says her date was nice, but she needs a man. She wants to be the young skank, not be left for the young skank. Kristen thinks she needs someone who has their sh*t together, and in LA, that doesn’t happen until they’re in their 30s. Jax aside. They discuss Katie and Schwartz. Stassi thinks Lisa is smart to hesitate over officiating at the wedding. Then can’t believe she said that.

Photos are taken of Lisa with the guys in formal wear. Katie asks Scheana for tips about the wedding, since she’s never even been in one. Scheana says she feels a little left out; she misses their individual closeness. Katie says she didn’t realize Scheana was feeling excluded, and Scheana is just as important to her as ever. Scheana gets weepy, and tells Katie that she wants to be included.

Lisa sets up a shot of Tom and Ariana, suggesting they fornicate on the table. Only Lisa can get away with using that word. In his interview, Tom instructs us on how to hide an erection if you need to. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ Several photos are taken.

Schwartz and Katie talk privately, although Tom walks past and makes faces at them. Schwartz wonders if they should have a back-up in case Lisa says no. Lisa comes by, and says that’s how she wants to see them, smiling and happy, but not now because they have to get moving. Pictures are taken of Schwartz, Katie and a rose. Lisa is glad they’ve taken her advice to heart.

Brittany tells Jax he looks handsome, but I think he looks uncomfortable. She wonders why he didn’t return the compliment, and he says he told her that she looked pretty twice, and that should be enough. He’s such an oaf. I never even use that word, but it totally applies here.

The group shot is taken at a table with more lavish meal stuff. In her interview, Lisa likes having the photo shoot to document the history of SUR. Giggy! She says it’s like an extended family.

While out to dinner at SUR, Schwartz says he feels like he and Katie have gone through twenty years of relationship in five years. Katie says they looked at each other and their relationship through other people’s eyes, and it changed things. Lisa joins them and asks how they’re doing. Katie says they’ve been paying attention to the small things, like kissing each other good-by. Schwartz asks Lisa what her answer is, and she says now she’ll be happy and honored. She says they deserve each other, but in a good way. They’re both lovely people.

Next time, Lala is back, Stassi gets glamour shots taken, James meets Raquel’s mother, and Jax and Tom cook up a surprise for Schwartz.

🏖 Just a note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching (God help me), but not recapping. Why bother? Sex, fight, rinse, repeat. The really bizarre thing, the thing that bothers me the most, isn’t that this is like The Real World for adults (the more current seasons of The Real World, not the first ones, which were actually interesting), but that they sound like they’re rejects from Vanderpump Rules. They have accents like Valley girls, and one of them even said “gag me with a spoon” tonight. They didn’t move the Hamptons, right? The Hamptons is still on the east coast, right? Where did they get these people? This show frightens me. I could blow the SUR kids off, citing coastal and age differences, again with the exception of Jax, but this group is in their 30s and Long Island is still in New York, right? The antics of this bunch belong in a frat house, and it isn’t even appropriate there. The finale is next week. This has been one long summer.

🍹 Although Kyle did give one of the best quotes ever: I am way to drunk to deal with this right now.

Feb28

February 27, 2017 – Jason Gets Closer to the Truth, the NOLA Trip Ends, Summer House Implodes & Little LA is Back

Posted on February 28, 2017 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason explains that Sam told him Alexis was having difficulty with her sobriety, so she was staying over. Alexis shows him her 30-day chip, and says oddly enough, it’s the one day she’s not struggling. Jason tries Sam’s phone and it rings from Alexis’s purse. Oh-ho! So that’s what Olivia-J put in there. Did she think Alexis would never notice? Okay, if it was in my purse, it might take a while, but did she think it was never going to ring?

Olivia-J comes back to her room. Julian, who is handcuffed to the radiator with a hood over his head, asks if the psycho witch is back. She takes the hood off, and says she thought they should wait together for the news about GH.

Finn asks to speak privately to Hayden. Tracy says she can take a hint. Finn tells Hayden that he’ll do anything. He doesn’t want to lose her

Felicia joins Bobbie at the MetroCourt. Bobbie says she hasn’t been able to sleep since Felicia told her about Nelle’s secret. She asks if Felicia is sure it’s true, and she says absolutely.

Michael and Nelle get back from the cabin. Nelle tells Michael that he has to go and save the hospital, and she has to take care of one thing. After that, she can start over.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. Carly says she’s going home – to pack, and explain to Josslyn that she’s moving back in with him.

Monica asks Tracy if they have enough votes to save the hospital. Tracy tells her not until Laura shows up.

Olivia-J tells Julian that Laura got sidetracked, and he’ll get to live. He asks what she did with Sam.

Alexis wonders how the phone got in her purse. Jason asks if she left her purse anywhere. She says she only stepped away from it when she was talking with her sponsor. Jason shows her a picture of Olivia-J and asks if she recognizes it. Alexis says that’s her sponsor.

Felicia tells Bobbie that she contacted another teacher who’d been a friend of Nelle’s. Bobbie wonders why a stranger would tell Felicia anything. Felicia says that besides having an honest face, she’d explained that Nelle is on the short list to be Crimson’s woman of the month, and she was interviewing people who know her.

Carly tells Sonny that she hadn’t grieved Morgan properly. She wanted to bury herself in Sonny’s arms, but couldn’t. He tells her that he missed her. Thanksgiving night he was sure their marriage was done and that she was going back to Jax. He imagined the worst. She says that’s over, and she’s here with him now. They kiss

Nelle tells Michael that his words affected her, and she’s going to end what she started. He asks why she’s taking all the blame, and what about her boyfriend? She says he’s involved, and it would devastate his wife. Michael made her realize that she would only end up devastating herself. She’s been focused on the past, and wants to look to the future and spend more time with him. She says at the end of the night, she’ll be free to focus on him and whatever they decide to do.

Nelle says she feels like a new person. Michael tells her not to change too much. He leaves, and she tosses out the phone with the audio file on it and deletes the copy on her laptop. She says all that’s left now is what she sent to Carly. Like an idiot though, she leaves the dialogue box that says “Sonny audio file deleted” up on the computer screen.

Sonny tells Carly that they should make if official. She says she never filed for divorce, but he suggests renewing their vows. She adds, for the sixth time. He says he’s not the best Catholic, but he likes the ritual of his faith. He’d also like Griff to be the officiant. Carly says that’s fine, if he’s willing. Bobble texts Carly to meet her about something important. Sonny says he’s going to win Bobbie over yet, starting with making her daughter happy. Carly says she didn’t think she’d ever be happy again, but she is, and she loves him. He says he loves her too.

Hayden doesn’t want to be responsible for whether or not Finn goes to rehab. He asks Hayden to give him a chance. She tells him to let her do her job, and he wishes her luck with the board. No one has seen Laura, and they need her vote. Gray says it’s time to start. Tracy tells him that Michael and Laura are on their way

Julian asks again what Olivia-J did. She pours herself a stiff one, and says there was an accident. She tells Julian that Sam attacked her, and wound up falling off a bridge.

Jason asks Alexis if she’s sure. Alexis says she is, and wants to know who it is in the picture. Jason tells her it’s Olivia Jerome, who was presumed dead. Alexis is shocked that her sponsor is Julian’s sister. Jason says he thinks she’s been pulling Julian’s strings for a while, and that she set up the car bomb that killed Morgan. He figures that her being Alexis’s sponsor is a front, and one more thing she has over him. Alexis remembers walking in on them talking. She says Julian knew she was being duped and never said a word. They both suddenly remember that Sam is missing, and Alexis wonders if Olivia got to her.

Sam hears sirens in the distance, and tells Scout that help is coming.

Julian can’t believe that Olivia-J left Sam after she fell. He tells her that Sam is pregnant, and he can’t understand how she can be so heartless. Olivia says Sam attacked her, and she didn’t intend to hurt her. He’s the one who’s heartless, and deserves what she’s thrown at him. Alexis calls Julian. Olivia wonders why she’s calling.

Alexis leaves a message for Julian, saying that his sister Olivia is her sponsor, and she’s done something to Sam. Alexis wants to call Olivia-J and set her up, but Jason tells her not to.

Sam calls out that she’s down at the bottom of the hill. The sirens fade, and she realizes it wasn’t for them. She tells Scout it’s okay, but starts feeling pain.

Michael shows up at the board meeting. Tracy says a member is running behind schedule, and asks to postpone. Gray won’t go for it, and Michael says maybe Laura will show before they vote. Hayden presents her proposal, and Tracy starts asking questions. Gray says she’s stalling, and wants a vote. Monica asks Hayden to leave per policy.

Monica sees Obrecht in the hallway, and she tells Monica that she has something to do in the boardroom. Monica says there’s a board meeting going on, and what business could she have with it?

Sonny finds Griff at the hospital, and Griff tells him about the sickout. Sonny says he can’t provide nurses, but if he needs other workers, he can supply them. Griff says he’ll let him know. Sonny tells him about getting back together with Carly, and how they want to renew their vows with him officiating. Griff asks whose idea it was, and Sonny says it was his. He asks if it has anything to do with Sonny cheating on Carly.

Nelle goes through the mail at the office, but can’t find the envelope. She asks the mail guy where yesterday’s mail is, and he tells her that Bobbie was there organizing it for Carly.

Carly joins Bobbie. Nelle texts that she’s back, and Carly explains what happened with the cabin. Bobbie says Nelle is the reason she needed to see Carly. She says there’s no easy way, and tells her about Felicia investigating Nelle’s background, and that she found something big.

Michael says the board is deadlocked. Monica says there can be no resolution until Laura arrives. Obrecht says that’s where she comes in, to break the tie.

The pharmaceutical guy meets Finn at the bar. Finn says he researched the company, and they’re more about greed than healing people. He says the cure is mostly needed in underdeveloped countries. He believes they’re going to take his formula, tweak it, jack up the price, and make money. The guy says there are other applications, which is why they’re interested. Finn says no thanks, but the guy makes him an offer, doing that writing it on a piece of paper thing.

Griff tells Sonny that this is no way to move forward from one night stand, pretending that it didn’t happen. He says secrets are rarely kept, and how it comes out is what matters.

Nelle tells the mail guy that he shouldn’t have given Bobbie the mail, since she makes everything a bigger deal than it needs to be. He thinks it was just junk anyway. Nelle asks if she opened anything, but he doesn’t know.

Bobbie tells Carly that Nelle is bad news, and Carly will be hurt the most. Carly says she can handle it. Bobbie reminds her when Nelle decided not to take the job in Atlanta. Carly says it was because of Nelle’s boyfriend. Thinking Bobbie is focusing on Nelle’s boyfriend being married, she says that both she and Bobbie have made those mistakes. Bobbie tells her the S stands for Sonny. This is what Felicia found out? And she went to Atlanta to do it? I was hoping for something we didn’t know. Like the real connection between Nelle and Carly.

Finn slides the offer back. He’s not selling the formula unless it’s on his terms, which means getting it to the people who need it. Pharm guy says with this money he could find all kinds of cures. Finn says that he already did, and doesn’t want it out of his control. Never. Pharm guy writes another offer. Finn makes a hmmm… face, and says that’s a lot of money. He tears the paper in half. The pharm guy leaves his card in case Finn changes his mind.

Hayden wonders why Obrecht gets a vote. Tracy says she probably made herself an alternate during her reign of terror. Tracy says it’s not legal, but Michael says it is. Obrecht says that a privately owned hospital can turn away needy patients. Tracy is glad they’re both concerned with the less fortunate.

Olivia-J tells Julian that the board is going to be voting, and they’ll see if Julian lives or dies. He says she buys GH, then what? She says he’ll see, and that it’s going to be epic.

Alexis calls the police. They take the report, but won’t act on it, and Jason says it’s up to them. He finds a picture on Sam’s phone from inside Olivia-J’s car. Jason says he thinks he knows where it is, and tells Alexis who to contact in the meantime. He tells her that if she needs verification of anything, to call Curtis, and he takes off.

Sam is having contractions. She asks if Scout can wait. She starts to climb again, and has another contraction. She says they’re coming too fast.

Nelle tears the place apart looking for the envelope. She wonders what Bobbie did with it, and says she’d better not have given it to Carly, but thinks Michael or Carly would have said something to her by now.

Sonny tells Griff that Carly is close to the woman he slept with, and thinks she’s the greatest. Griff says if the truth comes out from someone else, that will make it worse. Sonny says he can’t figure out the woman’s game. He tells himself that she won’t say anything, but realizes it’s a huge risk.

Carly says, Nelle is having an affair with Sonny? Bobbie says Felicia found a friend of hers who said she’s involved with her boss’s husband. It’s serious, and she’s terrified that her boss will find out. Let me just stop here and wonder why on earth a friend of Nelle’s would tell Felicia this, when she claimed to be interviewing for a woman of the month story. Carly says Bobbie has never liked Nelle, and seems to have all the answers. Bobbie tells Carly that there were signs. Maybe she didn’t want to see them, but they were there. She says for one thing, Sonny always got weird when talking about Nelle, and warned Michael away from her. Carly says she knows Sonny. He would never do this, and she’s going to prove it.

Finn asks Monica how it’s going, and she says not good. At the meeting, Obrecht says the hospital is going under; it’s inevitable. If it’s going down, she doesn’t want the Quartermaines to have all the power. When she was Chief of Staff, Tracy voted to fire her, and that was a big mistake. She votes in favor of the real estate developer.

Julian gets a message about the vote. Olivia says she won GH and he won a stay of execution. Julian wants to find Sam.

Sam is busy going into labor. She asks Scout to wait, but doesn’t think Scout is listening. Jason arrives at the foot bridge. He calls out to Sam and she hears him. For the love of all that’s holy, Jason, just look down. He keeps calling, but Sam can’t answer.

Carly knocks on Nelle’s door. No answer. She starts to leave, but finds a key under the mat. She lets herself in. Really? She looks around. No Nelle. She says Sonny isn’t interested in Nelle, and doesn’t even like her. She sees the dialogue box about the Sonny file being deleted on Nelle’s laptop.

Sonny tells Griff that he was going to come clean to Carly, but she had the night planned and was so happy. He didn’t want to cause her more pain. Griff says it will be worse if she finds out from someone else. He can’t let that happen.

Nelle finds the envelope. She says everything is going to be okay, and Carly will never know.

Carly ponders why there would be a recording of Sonny, and why it would be deleted. She sees the phone in the wastebasket and wonders what’s on it. She sits on the couch with the laptop and plugs it in. Dammit! She plays the file. She hears Sonny say that under no circumstance is Carly to know that he and Nelle had sex.

Tomorrow, Monica says they’ll know any minute, Bobbie tells Nelle game over, and Jason is still calling for Sam who is a few feet away from him.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana suggests to Tom that Vegas is at the root of Schwartz and Katie’s issues. Tom asks what about the four years before that? Schwartz says he’s done, and doesn’t want to marry Katie.

We flash back to Jax’s big mouth about Schwartz’s dalliance, and Katie says maybe Ariana is right. She says she squelched her feelings, and didn’t want to discuss it to protect Schwartz. Stassi says she wishes she’d known, but it was during the time they were estranged.

Tom claims that Schwartz proposed because of an ultimatum. He thinks maybe Katie should have worked her own stuff out first. Scheana says he must love her, or he wouldn’t have done it. Tom screeches that Schwartz is a battered wife, and to look at him! He flings the door open to Schwartz sitting on the bed still in drag. So is Tom, and they look like something out of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Katie says that she must be the dumbest [sic] woman on the planet, and Jax doesn’t get why Schwartz doesn’t just apologize. He thinks Katie should demand the truth. Schwartz walks in. He calls Katie a bitch, and Stassi tells him to knock it off. He says he wishes cheating really was their problem, and stumbles back out.

Brittany brings up the altercation the night before, and doesn’t like how the guys were discussing Kristen without her being there. Kristen thinks Tom is just creating problems and should stay out of it. Katie talks to Stassi, saying that Schwartz only 20% admitted to cheating. Whatever that means. She felt that she’d put a lot of time into the relationship already, and didn’t want to let it ruin things. In his interview, Jax brings up how Tom keeps saying Schwartz couldn’t have cheated when he was so drunk. He says that when he’s drinking, his brain shuts down, not his other head. I’m guessing this actually depends on several factors, including the individual. Jax thinks this isn’t normal, and that Schwartz should call things off. He says that Schwartz should approach Katie and say they’re supposed to be a team. That sounds like two different things.

Jax asks the girls to clear out, and give Schwartz and Katie privacy, but Katie doesn’t want to talk. She says she’s not ready, and besides, Schwartz is still wearing a dress and sporting a smoky eye. She thinks he’s blackout drunk, and they should revisit things in the morning. Jax explains what happened in Vegas to Brittany, and that Schwartz basically admitted to hooking up. If my memory serves me right, I don’t think Schwartz ever actually said he did anything other than making out. It was Jax who kept assuming he’d had sex.

Stassi tells Schwartz he’s being an a-hole. He says he made out with a chick when he was drunk, and tells Stassi she had a good run with Patrick. Stassi wonders what her choices in men have to do with Schwartz cheating on Katie.

Katie tells someone to close the blinds, reminding me of Kari Wuhrer in Beastmaster 2. Schwartz is still staggering around in his dress. He goes to Jax and Brittany’s room. Ariana wakes up to Tom’s manicure. Tom says that Schwartz and Katie throw tantrums like toddlers, and wake up not even remembering what they were arguing about. Shay dips into some snacks he’s left next to the bed. Scheana thinks everyone should stay sober until the wedding. She tells Shay that it’s a good thing they’re doing a prenup. Scheana isn’t the brightest bulb in the SUR box, but occasionally, she can be the voice of reason.

In her interview, Stassi says Katie and Schwartz have been fighting about the same things for years. We flash back to some of that. She says she’s trying to support them as a couple, but it’s hard.

Lisa arrives at SUR. Cashier, Katie-O (ugh! double Katies now), wants to become a server, and Lisa says she’ll put her through the paces. She likes when people come through the ranks. She gives us several examples, and ends with James, who started as a busser, rose to a server, then a DJ, and then got fired.

Katie calls Lisa, telling her they’ve had some flare-ups. Lisa asks if they’re looking for problems. She says they shouldn’t be fighting now, and that there will be tough times ahead. She tells Katie to patch things up and get the relationship back on track.

Everyone gathers at the pool. Tom passes out shirts with funny names on them that he had made. Schwartz wonders what happened, and everyone wonders where Katie is. In his interview, Schwartz says the worst nightmare of a combined bachelor/bachelorette party has come true, and his best choice is to run away and start fresh somewhere.

Stassi, Katie and Kristen visit Stassi’s childhood home. Her father is putting it on the market, and she wants to see it one last time. She talks about the memories, and how she had so many sleepovers, her father started thinking she was a lesbian. She’s very hungover, and keeps throwing up. Her grandmother is also there, and she says her grandmother is everything she aspires to be, but her grandmother is way nicer. Stassi is getting sentimental, and Grandma says once everything is gone, it’s only a house. I am so down with that, having gone through the selling of my own childhood home when my father died. I’ve always said that once he was gone, it was just a house and no longer a home. They go down Memory Lane. We see some retro photos, and find out that Stassi’s grandmother is the one who named her.

Jax reminds Schwartz of all the things he said the night before, but Schwartz says he was just being cynical. Jax says they can’t afford another blow up. In his interview, Jax says sometimes you have to apologize whether you’re sorry or not. He says his father always tells him happy wife, happy life. Joe Giudice will tell you that too.

Katie says she needs at least twenty more hours of sleep. Stassi thinks the problem isn’t Tequila Katie, but Tequila Tom. Katie says the silver lining is that people finally got to see Schwartz at his worst. Stassi announces that the girls won the weekend.

Lisa goes through some role playing with Katie-O. She says it can be intimidating, but if a server can get past her, they can get past anyone. She says they can make or break a diner’s experience. Katie stumbles through the menu somewhat. Lisa says she has to know it inside out and upside down, and she’s not ready yet.

Katie tells Schwartz that he was coming at everyone last night, and he should just admit he slept with that girl. He says he didn’t. She says she’s not doing this anymore, but he wants to work through it, and wants her to drop the Vegas thing. He says she was a nightmare from the jump, and Katie tells him that he had an option. He put a ring on it, so stop throwing it in her face all the time. Schwartz sprays whipped cream into his mouth straight from the container, and Katie thinks that they should do this later. He takes a shot of vodka, and she suggests that he stop criticizing her and reminding her of every sh*tty thing she’s done. He asks her to stop bringing up Vegas. He says he loves her, and they should just have some fun. These two wear me out, and I’m just watching them on TV.

Katie calls Schwartz a Bridezilla. He wants to salvage the last night. Everyone goes to the bar. More shots! In his interview, Schwartz says heavy drinking tears them apart, but it’s also the glue that brings them back together. It’s a cycle, and a vicious one at times. I could say a lot here, but why bother? They move on to playing spin-the-bottle. In her interview, Scheana says she’s happy she’s married, since this group is crazy about kissing one another. Schwartz says this is his last kiss before getting married, and it’s Tom. Stassi gets Peter, who thinks it’s weird, because they dated briefly. Schwartz says the party should have been like this from the beginning. Peter and Stassi start getting into some serious kissing.

Tom joins Kristen, who is having a smoke outside. She tells him he’s a giant a-hole. She asks why he feels the need to talk to her boyfriend about her past. She says he stepped into the swamp, and she wants to know why he’d talk to Carter about things that happened years ago, adding that Carter knows more than he does. Tom says they were bombarding Schwartz, and Carter came into the situation, talking like he’d been there. Kristen says she’s a different person now. Tom apologizes, and says he doesn’t want to talk about the past, and wants them to be cool. We flash back to their weepy conversation in Miami. He says that book is closed.

Giggy! Harrison! Schnooky! Lisa sips tea and works, while she lounges in bed with the dogs. Ken joins them. She thinks they should do a young restaurant with some young partners. Maybe groom somebody to take the pressure off a bit. She wonders if, with some guidance, Tom might be ready. She says he’s an excellent bartender, and she believes he’s hungry. She and Ken banter. That’s not a euphemism for anything. They have some witty repartee. I have to add that even though he’s usually snoozing while being carried around, Giggy can be quite lively when there is the prospect of food.

A Murphy bed is pulled down in the bar (!), and the gang makes Katie lie on it, demanding that Schwartz give her a lap dance. Jax throws money at them, and Schwartz pulls down his pants. Everyone has a shot. Of booze. Scheana says their relationship is like being on a roller coaster. She hopes they don’t come crashing down when gravity happens.

Back in the girls’ suite, Stassi opens champagne. Tom talks to the guys about his conversation with Kristen. Katie draws on Schwartz’s face as he drifts off into a drunken stupor.

The next morning, Brittany says she feels like death. Jax is wearing a bra insert on his face, thinking it’s something for puffy eyes. Brittany asks him not to post any pictures of himself in drag on social media, since her mother has enough of an issue thinking he’s gay.

Shay tells Scheana that he thinks Schwartz has a lot of built up frustration, and that marriage means a lot of adjustment. He’s so wise, that Shay.

Stassi feels successful for going to NOLA and kissing a guy, even if the guy was Peter. Schwartz is glad he and Katie pulled things together. In his interview, he says any issues they haven’t resolved, they don’t have time for. They’re setting that bottle out to sea. Katie wants to put the wedding train back on the tracks.

Next time, the annual SUR pictures, Scheana feels left out, Stassi goes on a date, and Katie and Schwartz ask Lisa to officiate at the wedding.

🏊 Just a quick note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching when it’s convenient. These people are in their 30s with seriously good jobs – what has happened to the world? While I probably did drink a lot in my 30s, I didn’t behave like I was in middle school (or junior high, if you’re from my neck of the woods). Tonight, the gang got on a party bus with a stripper pole, and as with the proverbial train wreck, I couldn’t turn away. Everyone slinging back booze, publicly displaying various affections, and swinging from the rafters. Or at least from the pole. I have no doubt, had I been privy to the Hamptons during my youth, I would have partied, but Not. Like. This. I can’t even imagine what desperate need for attention would prompt this group to display their immature selves on TV. Isn’t anyone concerned that their boss might see this? I’m both flabbergasted and appalled.

💃 Little Women: LA starts its new season tomorrow, Tuesday at 9 pm. Opposite The Haves and the Have Nots and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Thanks, Lifetime! I really want to catch this season too, since Terra was on Dancing with the Stars. This week is the HAHN finale though, so hopefully this will only be painful the first time.

Feb21

February 20, 2017 – Ned Makes a Sacrifice, the NOLA Party Drags On & Your TWD Questions Answered (Maybe)

Posted on February 21, 2017 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nelle copies the audio file of Sonny onto a flash drive, and puts it into an envelope to Carly. She says, game on, Sonny.

Sonny buys Jason breakfast at the MetroCourt. Carly waits on them, telling Sonny not to plan anything for tomorrow, because she has a surprise. He doesn’t like surprises, but she says they have a lot to be grateful for, and she wants the two of them to celebrate. After she leaves, Sonny asks Jason if Ava didn’t plant the bomb, who did?

Alexis’s doorbell rings. I have to stop watching so much TV because I somehow get this mixed up with Daryl visiting Carol on The Walking Dead for a moment. It’s Sam. She talks about Kristina abandoning Alexis, but Alexis doesn’t blame her. Sam says she’ll keep trying to talk to her. She tells Alexis about Ava’s arrest, and says that for once, she doesn’t think Ava did it. Sam sees the bouquet, and Alexis tells her it’s from Julian.

Olivia-J hopes Julian wasn’t followed this time. She asks if there’s hospital news. He says by this time tomorrow, the hospital will be hers.

Hayden helps crunch the Quartermaine numbers. She says their offer isn’t as high as the realtor’s offer. Michael says Jason could kick in more, but Tracy doesn’t want anyone looking into where he gets his money. Ned says he’ll sell Lois his half of the record business.

Finn has a never-ending bottle of pills where there’s always just one left .He takes it, and looks at the newspaper headline about Ava. Griff asks if he’s been there all night, and Finn says someone had to take care of the patients. He also wanted to rush Anna’s biopsy.

Anna calls for a nurse, and an orderly tells her they’re all out sick. She asks about her biopsy, and he says he’ll see when he can do. She says she’d like to see a doctor, and Robin pops in, asking if she’ll do.

Commercial break. Like the Clapper and Chia Pet heralding in the Christmas season, Eastertime is officially here since the Cadbury bunny tryouts are happening.

Sam says she guesses Alexis didn’t slam the door in Julian’s face. She says Alexis is vulnerable, and asks her to please not let Julian manipulate her.

Julian reaches into his coat, and Olivia-J pulls a gun. Julian pulls out some champagne, and Olivia asks if he’s being presumptuous. He says tomorrow the Quartermaines lose.

Ned says he could hear Lila’s voice telling him about all the people he could be helping. Tracy asks since when is his life in Port Charles, and he says it’s time to set down roots again. He asks if she has Lila’s engagement ring. He wants to ask Olivia-F to marry him.

Nelle sticks the envelope into the mail cart at the MetroCourt.

Carly thanks Jason for talking Sonny down. She says she couldn’t have convinced him; she would have encouraged him. Jason says he doesn’t think Ava is behind the bomb, and he doesn’t want anyone doing what they can’t take back. Carly hugs him, and says what a great friend he is. Nelle watches.

Finn calls Sonny. He says he needs a favor. Sonny says it’s a bad time, and to call him next week. Finn says he doesn’t have until next week.

Anna says it’s good to see Robin, and Robin says it’s good to be seen. She tells Anna that Griff called her. Anna says obviously the test is a big deal. Robin says she had a clear schedule and thought they could spend time together. Anna says she saw the look on Finn’s face, and now this. Something must be seriously wrong.

The orderly gives the results to Griff. His face doesn’t look happy. He says, oh no, which confirms his unhappiness.

Finn tells Sonny that the medication would be helpful to some of his patients. Sonny says he has eyes on him right now, but he’ll call around for a favor. He says it will take a few days, and Finn says he’ll figure something out. Hayden tells Finn he looks better, and asks if he’s going to the meeting with the pharmaceutical company. He says he can’t go to Manhattan today, since they’re short staffed. Hayden suggests that the profits from the patent could be donated to the hospital, and he likes the idea. He tells her that if he was rude, it was just because he was just tired. She asks if he’s sure, and that she thought he was going to tell her something important. Their conversation is interrupted by Griff with the biopsy results.

Robin tells Anna that a blood biopsy isn’t an everyday procedure. Anna tells her about it, and how the scraping against the bone was weird, almost as if she could hear it from inside. Robin says she’s sorry she wasn’t there, but it saves lives, so Anna did the right thing.

Michael thanks Olivia-F for pitching in at the family meeting. She says it was really none of her business. He says if Ned hadn’t sold L&B, they would have lost. Olivia is surprised that he let go of the business.

Tracy tells Ned no way is he getting Lila’s ring. She said it cost more than most people’s homes at the time her father bought it. Ned says he thought she liked Olivia-F. Tracy says that Olivia has two illegitimate sons from two different mobsters, and is not daughter-in-law material. Ned says that Tracy is one to talk, and he’s going to marry her. Tracy calls her uncouth and uncaring, and Ned says he looks at it as genuine, spirited, and sincere. He says he’s not losing her again.

Nelle finds Carly, who says she has a task outside of Nelle’s job description. She tells Nelle about the cabin that she and Sonny used to go to, and how she’s renting it again. She asks Nelle to make it special. She says they’re trying to move forward, and they could use some time alone. Nelle says things always work out for her. Carly is resilient and resourceful, and she admires that.

Alexis tells Sam that she’ll never be vulnerable to Julian again. Sam asks if he knows that. Alexis says she thinks he was saying good-by.

Olivia-J asks why Julian is breaking out champagne. He says he’s celebrating his freedom. She says she’ll have him killed if she doesn’t get the hospital, and if he’s drinking to his eminent demise. He says she can either raise a glass or kill him.

Alexis tells Sam about the safe deposit box. Sam wonders if Julian is leaving, and Alexis says she doesn’t know, but there’s an explanation letter in the box. Sam thinks it’s a poorly manufactured lie, but Alexis says, what if it isn’t?

Julian tells her to get it over with, and Olivia-J says don’t waste the bottle. He puts something from a metal capsule into her drink. I might add that he does it pretty loudly. They could hear the unscrewing of the capsule at the hospital. He toasts to GH’s demolition.

Sonny tells Jason about Carly wanting to kill Ava, and that they agreed on doing nothing until they know for sure. Jason says Carly might think she wants revenge, but she doesn’t want to wreck lives. He hopes whatever they decide, they can move forward. Sonny says it’s not an option anymore. He tells Jason that something is going on with Nelle. She wants Carly to find out that they slept together.

Michael tells Nelle about losing his investment, and asks if she’d like to go to brunch and talk. Nelle tells him that she has to set up the cabin. Michael says he’ll give her a ride. He’s going to be busy for a while, and they might not have a chance to hang out later.

Robin tells Anna it’s okay to be scared. Anna says WSB agents don’t get scared. Robin says not in public, but it’s just her. Finn and Griff come in. Finn says he was hoping for better results, and the biopsy indicates she has Polycythemia Vera (PV). Griff explains that it means she has cancer.

Tracy relents about the ring, saying that Lila would want it to be worn and not kept in a dusty vault. She apologizes, and Ned asks what the objection is. Tracy says she doesn’t really have one, and that Olivia-F is ballsy and outgoing. She says when she got sick, she changed perspective on a lot of things and selfishly wants to keep him close. When he talks about marriage, the next step is getting their own home. He says it’s a big house, and there’s room for all of them, at least for now. He asks for her blessing, and she says of course. They hug, and we see Lila’s picture behind them, causing me to tear up.

Sam tells Alexis that what Julian wrote could hold the answers they need.

Olivia-J bumps into Julian and he drops his glass. She says how clumsy of her, and explains that being Alexis’s sponsor, it wouldn’t be good to have champagne on her breath. She encourages him to take her glass. He says it was a stupid idea, and she says he tried to poison her.

Anna says she never heard of a blood clot causing cancer. Finn says that cancer is a technical term, and her condition was once classified as blood disorder, but now is considered blood cancer. Griff says she’s in the age range where it’s commonly diagnosed, and the blood clot was a symptom. Finn tells her that the cancer causes thickening of the blood, and if left untreated, could result in a heart attack or stroke. It’s what’s been responsible for her migraines. Anna asks if she needs chemo. Finn says no, they’ll give her blood thinner and do phlebotomies, which Robin says is like donating blood on regular basis. Anna says it sounds like they’re just treating the symptoms, and asks how they beat it. Griff tells her that there’s no cure.

Michael and Nelle get to the cabin, and the caretaker gives them the keys, calling them lovebirds. Nelle is like, not too awkward. Michael tells her that they used to come up here all the time, and she says he must have wonderful memories of the place.

Sonny tells Jason about finding the bra, and that Nelle planted it. He says no way was her bra in the bed for two months. Jason wonders why, and asks if Nelle is interested in him. He says he doesn’t care, but she’s becoming a problem. Jason says the only way out is to take away her power and tell Carly.

Finn tells Anna that it’s a chronic condition, and Griff says it’s manageable. She asks if she’ll have to deal with bloodletting the rest of her life. Robin asks to talk to her in private. Anna says she’s sorry for being insensitive. Robin says she’s angry and sad, and just because it’s manageable doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. When she’s done venting, they have work to do, and she has to be strong. Anna doesn’t feel strong, and Robin says she’ll be strong for both of them.

Finn tells Griff that he didn’t tell her everything. Griff says to let her deal with the shock. He thanks Finn for letting him be there. Finn joins Tracy and Hayden. Hayden asks about the meeting again, and he says that he doesn’t have time. Tracy says the jet is at his disposal, and he says maybe he’ll take her up on it.

Olivia-F comes into the Quartermaine drawing room to find Ned looking at Lila’s engagement ring. He says he was going to do this at dinner, but why wait? He asks her to marry him.

Commercial break. Finola Hughes does a PSA for PV. You can get more information at VoicesOfMPN.com.

Anna says Robin can’t be by her side forever. Robin says being HIV positive has taught her one thing – not to think about 50 years from now, but about today and tomorrow. Anna will need someone to run errands and translate medical terms. Anna says it’s not necessary; she’ll be all right. Robin says everyone needs help sometimes, even her. Right now, her place is here. They hug. Anna tells Robin she loves her.

Hayden says that she’s proud of Finn, and they’ll talk later.

Olivia-F tells Ned that she can’t. He says he understands no, but what does “I can’t” mean? She runs out.

Nelle has changed the sheets, and the fridge is stocked. She tells Michael that no matter what happens, his friendship has meant the world to her. He says he feels the same way, and wonders if she’s skipping town, but she says she’s just expressing her feelings. They start to leave, but the caretaker comes back, telling them that the roads are closed and they’re not going anywhere.

Sonny tells Carly they need to talk. She says they can talk tomorrow. They need a break away from everything, a break from the questions about Ava and the pain of Morgan. Sonny says okay, and they hug. The mail cart goes forward.

Olivia-J tells Julian to empty his pockets. He gives her the capsule. She sniffs it and says, oleander. He says it’s nothing she wouldn’t do to him. She says she would have succeeded, and he tells her that now’s her chance. She says until the deal is finished, he can live, and to get out before she changes her mind. He leaves, along with his fresh haircut. Olivia tells herself that Julian needs another reprimand, and she knows exactly how to deliver it.

Alexis tells Sam not to be digging around. Sam says she can take care of herself, and just hang on to the key. Alexis doesn’t like it, but tells her to be careful. Sam’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J pretending to be the doctor’s office, and asking her to come in.

Tomorrow, Michael and Nelle are stuck, Jordan tells Curtis that she might lose her job because of him, and Olivia-F wants to know who’s after Julian.

Vanderpump Rules

I’d better see the Gigster tonight or I’m going to start questioning the integrity of this show.

In New Orleans, Jax wakes Brittany with a fart. This is actually better than an alarm clock, since you’ll never hit snooze. She asks if he remembers crying the night before. She tells Jax that if he really wants to be a better human, don’t treat her like crap. Seems simple enough. She says it’s awkward when he apologizes to an ex, and then acts like an idiot with her. In his interview, he says he can’t win. Because he’s so simple, he can’t even understand simple enough.

Schwartz wakes up on the couch. He tells Katie that she was super mean to him the night before. We flash back to the revelry in the streets. Katie says they left for the hotel around 4:30 in the morning, and everything was fine. In her interview, she says she wanted to take a car home, and he thought she was being unreasonable, but in his version, she’s drunk and yelling at him. He says she doesn’t remember because she was too drunk, and she insists that she wasn’t. Want to make a bet that both of them were?

The girls go to Galatoire’s, one of the oldest restaurants in NOLA, for brunch. Stassi says all holidays and birthdays were celebrated there when she was a girl, and we see some retro photos. Brittany says the boys were acting like weirdos last night, and Stassi says she was embarrassed.

The guys go on a swamp tour. I’ve never been to NOLA, but I have gone on one of those in Florida. The guide instructs them that if an alligator comes in the boat, it’s not part of the tour, and to run. Ariana is joining them, since she’s a groomsman and wants to see gators. Schwartz starts drinking, and tells them about having a fight with Katie. The boat stops, and everyone looks at an alligator. Ariana feeds it some popcorn. Or Cheetos. Or something. The guide picks up the alligator and everyone takes pictures. Tom says he brought doughnuts and there’s a snake in the box. This is not a euphemism for anything. There is an actual snake in the box. There’s also a snake in the cooler. The guide pulls out a baby alligator and teases Schwartz with it. He freaks, but I’d want to hold it.

Kristen passes out rubber wristbands to everyone, each with an appropriate name for the recipient. The food looks fabulous. My sister lived in NOLA for a while, until Katrina hit. I’ve always regretted not visiting her there. Love the food. Love the music. Scheana doesn’t like anything in a shell; it grosses her out. I don’t have a problem with it, but I think eating a whole crab or lobster is a lot of work for too little payback. She and Kristen step away from the table, and talk, while Stassi talks to Katie. In her interview, Kristen says she, Scheana, and Carter discussed Katie’s anger toward Schwartz. They think it stems from him cheating two years ago, and she’s been mad at him ever since. Scheana says Schwartz needs to own it and apologize.

After the swamp tour, the guys and Ariana have a blue crab picnic. Tom says Schwartz doesn’t look too good, and he says he feels sorry for the crabs. Tom thinks they should go to counseling. Schwartz and Katie, not Schwartz and the crabs. Carter says Katie doesn’t feel like she has his back, and he thinks Schwartz hooking up in Vegas is still weighing on her. She takes it out on him because he’s never taken full responsibility. In his interview, Schwartz says every time he thinks it’s resolved, it’s not, especially when Katie is drinking. Jax feels partially responsible, since he introduced Schwartz to the Vegas girl. In his interview, Tom says Carter’s words have Kristen’s fingerprint on them. Shay explains how he and Scheana had to deal with their issues. Schwartz says Scheana doesn’t take your deepest insecurities and rage at you for hours. Jax wonders why they’re even getting married. Shay says marriage isn’t easy, and Ariana says something is troubling Katie. Tom says Schwartz sounds like a battered wife. In his interview, Tom says he’s known Schwartz forever and wants him to be happy, and gets all teary. He gets teary at the picnic too, saying he doesn’t want to see Schwartz like this. Jax wonders what’s up with everyone crying, and Ariana says she should have stuck with the girls. Tom suggests they go back and throw on heels and a dress.

Lisa checks into SUR, and talks to the chefs about adding some new dishes to the menu. She wants to keep things current, and doesn’t want the chefs to get complacent. She questions one of the chef’s trousers that have a cartoon mushroom pattern. So do I. They look like pajama bottoms for a ten-year-old.

The girls get ready for the bachelorette party. A girl shows up with a cake, and turns into a stripper. Kristen has hired her to turn things up. Kristen hands Katie a bunch of dollar bills. The girl does a lap dance for Katie. They wonder how to tell the guys that they got a stripper, and the guys didn’t.

Tom rallies the guys after naptime. He’s called in the experts, and brought in Miss Aubrey to be their drag mother. She brings a couple of other drag queens with her. Jax needs help deciphering how to put a bra on, getting the arm strap wrapped around his head somehow.

Ariana visits the girls and says they’re blurring the lines of what it means to be a man or a woman in today’s society. Hardly. Blurring the lines of what it means to be an adult maybe. In her interview, Kristen thinks Ariana wishes she was a bridesmaid instead. Ariana tells the guys that they’re losing in the fun department, and shows them pictures. Tom says they’re just getting started. He’s brought an entire wardrobe stash. Ariana tells Schwartz that Katie is having a great time, and he’s happy. Jax says let’s go break some hearts or break something.

The girls take more pictures with the stripper, and get ready for the evening.

The guys pick a sports bar to grace with their dragness. I doubt anyone is going to care, but they actually get cheers when they come in. Ariana has also dressed in reverse drag. The guys and Ariana mingle, and Schwartz wonders how to pee with all the undergarments he’s wearing. He asks a table of women where his penis is, and says they can have it for a while, but he needs it back. He’s getting pretty drunk. Omg, we actually do see Jax trying to pee (from the back, but still), and he pees on his dress. You can dress him up, but you can’t take him out.

In her interview, Kristen says at Scheana’s bachelorette party they did the standard stuff, like carving cucumber penises and making toilet paper wedding dresses. Stassi planned this one, so they went on a murder tour. Kristen informs us that the main reason for murder in NOLA is cheating, and if they lived there, it would be a ghost town. Scheana tells them that Shay had an allergic reaction to something, but really he’s feeling left out because he doesn’t drink. That’s totally understandable. For the record, we did not carve cucumbers or make toilet paper dresses at my wedding shower, but I did have to wear a hat made out of the gift bows.

Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken taste test the new dishes, along with Lisa’s business partners. Lisa says it’s a different vibe without the kids there, and they discuss the combined bachelor/bachelorette parties. Lisa tells them about how she upgraded Schwartz and Katie’s room.

The group reconvenes at the hotel. Tom has changed wigs. He felt that the dark wig was too stepmom, and the blonde is more sexy and youthful. Stassi thinks he’d get more likes than her on her dating app. She says Jax looks like your friend Tiffany, who spells her name with an “i” at the end, and needs a ride to a check cashing place and then to a 7/11 for cigarettes. I like Stassi a lot more now that she’s mellowed in the thoughtless department. She’s really very funny. In her interview, Katie says she and Tom take their fighting to extremes, but are able to forgive. Kristen doesn’t think Schwartz is as adorable as he looks.

Jax and Brittany’s room is trashed from earlier antics. I’d hate to be a maid in a Vegas hotel. Jax takes off his drag, and apologizes to his balls, saying he’ll never do that to them again.

Kristen talks to Schwartz. She says he and Katie really only fight about one thing – the chick in Vegas. Schwartz thinks the logic is flawed, and doesn’t want to discuss it. Kristen begs him to listen. He walks away, saying that Kristen is a psycho bitch. She says she just wants them to be on the same page before they get married. Schwartz is not receptive to talking, and Tom tells Kristen to leave him alone. Schwartz starts to go in the elevator, and Kristen says it’s not Tom’s business, and tells him to get out. In his interview, he says she’s a psycho and he’s been there. In the elevator, Schwartz says all kinds of crap about Kristen, including calling her a whore. Carter tells him to back off, and Tom tells him he was there, and Carter is dating the new and improved Kristen. Carter, the voice of reason, says this isn’t about Kristen right now. Tom says if she brought up the past, he has a right to.

Jax and Brittany hear them arguing, and Jax says he’s not getting involved. Schwartz says all he did was make out. Jax tells Brittany it’s a ten-year battle, but she doesn’t like the way they’re attacking Kristen when she’s not even there. Katie comes upstairs. Scwartz complains about Kristen. Katie says Kristen has been downstairs, and asks why they’re trashing her. Jax says this is going to be a disaster tomorrow.

Kristen tells Ariana and Scheana that Katie told her she’s never gotten over Schwartz cheating on her. Ariana says she gets it now.

Tom tells Scheana that all Schwartz did was kiss a girl. Schwartz says he’s not sure what happened, but he’s almost positive they didn’t have sex. The girls and Carter gather. Stassi tells Katie that she had no idea that’s why they’d been fighting, and now it makes sense. In her interview, Katie says Kristen had good intentions even if her delivery was off, but you can’t put toothpaste back in a tube. Meanwhile, Scheana tries to explain things, and Schwartz says he can’t marry Katie.

Next time, Katie calls Lisa, Jax says Schwartz admitted to hooking up, more shots are downed, there’s a possible game of spin-the-bottle, and Schwartz loses his penis again.

Walking Dead Questions Answered (Kind of)

For those who wondered about Winslow on The Walking Dead, this article probably won’t enlighten you:

http://comicbook.com/2017/02/20/the-walking-dead-who-was-winslow-/?utm_source=Comicbook.com&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=170219_221058_Comicbook.com%20Daily%20Newsletter&utm_content=Image

For those who wondered about Michonne’s lost cat, this article will enlighten you somewhat:

http://comicbook.com/2017/02/20/the-walking-dead-why-did-rick-give-michonne-cat/?utm_source=Comicbook.com&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=170219_221058_Comicbook.com%20Daily%20Newsletter&utm_content=Image

Feb14

February 13, 2017 – Anna Spies Olivia-J, the SUR Gang Invades NOLA & a New Show Invades Bravo

Posted on February 14, 2017 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Felicia hunts down Nelle at the bar and brings her more decorating stuff. She mentions Nelle’s guy, and Nelle flashes back to planting the bra in Sonny’s bed. She says maybe her bedroom could use some sizzle.

Sonny talks to Carly about being a free man. Carly says nothing is keeping him there now, but he asks why he’d want to go out when what he wants is right there. They kiss.

Julian comes to Jordan’s office and whines about being a victim. She tells him about the charges against Sonny being dropped, and that he’s no longer under house arrest.

Dante brings Ava to the interrogation room. He says his brother is dead, and she’s been implicated. She says he had nothing to do with it; she loved Morgan. Dante asks what Julian is talking about on the tape then, and she says she has no idea. Whoever the sister is, it ain’t her.

At the hospital, Olivia-J walks past Anna while she’s busy talking to Winston on the phone.

Lulu approaches Valentin at the bar, and says she comes in peace.

Anna sees Olivia-J from the back, and flashes back to trapping her in an elevator.

Carly and Sonny reminisce over the shows Morgan used to put on for them. Carly asks if it was wrong for her to bring it up, but Sonny says no, he likes remembering those things. She says sometimes she’ll have a memory out of the blue and she’ll feel happy, but then she just stops feeling, because being happy means moving on. Sonny says it feels like betrayal, and he understands. Carly says they can’t give into the feeling, and that Morgan wouldn’t want them to live a joyless life; that would be a true betrayal. Sonny says Carly makes him happy, and she says ditto. They start to kiss and then roll around on the bed.

Felicia tells Nelle about the colors the thinks would be good, contemporary yet classic. She doesn’t know how to pull in Nelle’s history though, and suggests a modern twist on Southern Gothic. Nelle likes the idea, although her family isn’t really from Georgia.

Ava tells Dante to talk to Julian, and he says Julian is being questioned right now. He asks where she was today, and she tells him that she went to work and was accosted by Sonny. Dante wonders if she’s as innocent as she claims, and she thinks about switching Morgan’s pills.

Julian asks Jordan if the DA knows the charges were dropped, and she says new evidence has come to light. She asks what he was doing this morning, and he lies. He says Ava left for work early, and he hung out at the apartment and then went to the MetroCourt. She asks if anyone can confirm that he was at home and what time he left for the MetroCourt. He says the doorman might remember him leaving, but doesn’t know the exact time or if he made any side trips. She asks if he stopped to pick up some ginseng or lotus root, since the Chinese food pawn shop is now a remedy shop. She plays the tape for him. She says it doesn’t sound like Sonny wanted him dead, but that his own sister tried to kill him.

Anna follows Olivia-J. Her migraine worsens, and her vision becomes blurry. She follows Olivia into an examination room. Her pills drop onto the floor, and Olivia kicks them away. Anna asks if someone is there, and if they see her pills. Olivia just stands there silently.

Valentin says he has to go, and Lulu asks if he has time for her apology.

Felicia says she thought Nelle was from Atlanta, and Nelle says she did live there, but she’s originally from Florida. She says she worked hard to get rid of her Florida accent so she wouldn’t seem like a hick. What? I didn’t even know Floridians had a pronounced accent, much less sound like hicks.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. She asks him if it was Ava who planted the bomb.

Ava’s story checks out. Most of it. Dante asks when she got to work, and she says eight in the morning. He says her assistant says she stepped out for a moment. Ava tells him that she went home to pick up some contracts, but couldn’t have been gone longer than an hour. He says she can’t account for her whereabouts at the same time the recording was being made. He plays it for her, and asks if she wants to comment.

Julian tells Jordan that he has nothing more to say. She says he had a few things to say on the recording. He insists it wasn’t him, and she shows him the picture. She says if he cooperates, she might be able to do something for him. She’ll make sure there are no charges brought against him for obstruction of justice. He moans about being the victim again. She says the recording proves that he knew Sonny wasn’t responsible, and she doesn’t think the jury will be sympathetic to him setting up a grieving father. He says someone set him up, and Jordan says yeah, Ava, and a good prosecutor will build a conspiracy and collusion case. He tells her to arrest him or let him go.

Sonny tells Carly what the recording picked up, and how he went to Ava’s gallery. He tells her about Jason showing up and saving Ava’s life, and he assumes she’s at the station right now. Carly says she’s going to find Ava and kill her personally.

Ava says she doesn’t know who it is in the picture, but it’s not her. She sees Julian walking past the window, and tells Dante to ask him. She pops out the door, and tells Julian to set Dante straight. Julian says she did nothing wrong, and just tell the truth. He walks away, and she hollers that he should tell them.

A man finds Anna leaning up against the examining table. He finds her pills and gives them to her. Olivia-J continues to sneak around, and should probably put her phone on vibrate, since it starts to ring loudly. Julian texts 911. Anna asks if the guy saw a woman in the room, and swallows some of her pills. Her vision starts to clear, and she says she knows him. He says he trained with her and Valentin at the WSB. It’s Carl, the man she asked Robert to find.

Lulu tells Valentin she wants to apologize to him and Nina. He asks if she means for going behind Nina’s back and hurting Charlotte a second time. He calls her thoughtless and entitled, and says that she doesn’t care about Charlotte’s feelings. He won’t forgive her for traumatizing his daughter.

Felicia tells Nelle that Bobbie is also from Florida. She has to take a call, and steps away from the table. Michael sees Nelle, and she explains that Felicia is building a portfolio and helping her with some decorating. She says it must be awkward for Michael working with her, since she doesn’t get along well with Bobbie. Michael tells her that Felicia and Bobbie are the best of friends.

On the phone, Felicia says (I assume to Bobbie) that Nelle told her that she’s from Florida, but there hasn’t been any information about the boyfriend yet. She says sooner or later, Nelle will give something up. Michael tells Nelle that Felicia and Bobbie’s friendship is a Port Charles legend, and explains about Maxie getting BJ’s heart. Nelle says Felicia owes her daughter’s life to Bobbie, and would most likely do anything for her. Once again, Felicia proves what a wonderful detective she is, since it’s not like Nelle lives in a bubble.

Carly tells Sonny to get out of the way. She says it was her job to protect Morgan, but he’s gone forever and Ava is walking around free. She’s going to stop her. Sonny tells her that Jason stopped him because they’re not sure, and he isn’t going to let her throw her life away for Ava.

Ava wants to press charges against Sonny. She insists it wasn’t her on the recording, and Jordan suggests an audio line-up.

Olivia-J questions Julian about being at the station. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re breathing down her neck as well as his. He tells her they have a recording, have him on tape saying his sister planted the bomb, and they also have a picture. She calls him an idiot, and smacks him across the face.

Anna tells Carl that it’s been a long time, and thanks him for coming to her rescue. He says it’s good to see her despite the circumstances. She wonders if he can fill in the blanks. He says he’ll try, but she should be grateful for them, and keep as much distance between herself and Valentin as possible. He reminds me of Christolph Waltz in Django Unchained. Honestly, I did a doubletake.

Lulu says she wants to spend time with Charlotte and can’t Valentin understand? He says he understands that she does whatever she wants. She calls him a sanctimonious hypocrite, since he killed her brother and got away with it.

Anna wonders what Valentin is doing in Port Charles and what his agenda is, since she seems to be at the top of it. She doesn’t understand how a rebuffed kiss could cause all of this. Carl says it’s more than unrequited love.

Nelle tells Michael that she must have misunderstood something. Michael has to go to an emergency board meeting, and Felicia returns. Nelle tells her she wants to talk about her boyfriend.

Sonny tells Carly that he feels like a hypocrite, since he was going to do the same thing. He would have pulled the trigger if Jason hadn’t reminded him that he doesn’t want to be locked away from his family. He says they can’t do anything until they know 100% that it’s Ava. Carly asks when they’ll know.

Julian tells Olivia-J that the cops overplayed their hand and think it’s Ava. She says of course they do.

Dante tells Ava that they have an eyewitness. Ava says that should clear her. Jordan says he can only identify the voice, and if she wants to clear it up, it’s best to cooperate. Ava says lets go, and afterward, she’s going after Sonny because she’s tired of being on the losing end.

Lulu tells Valentin that she made mistakes, but only because she loves Charlotte. She asks what his excuse is, and how will he justify killing Nicholas to Charlotte? He talks about Richard III, and says if Richard had won, it would have been a different story. Well, yeah. He says he’ll tell Charlotte when he tells her, which I translate to meaning butt out.

Anna asks Carl what reason Valentin would have to target her. She says she hasn’t even thought about him since her training days, and tells him about the files vanishing. He says they’ve probably been redacted. He tells her that one day Valentin didn’t show up for work, and vanished afterward. He says Valentin probably found out what was coming. He was targeted and put on a kill a list, and Anna put him there.

Carly wonders why they’re giving Ava the benefit of the doubt. Sonny says they have to be sure, because if it’s someone else, they don’t want them getting away. Carly asks if Jason has any leads. Sonny tells her about Ava saying she did something that she regretted, and he thinks even if she didn’t kill Morgan, she had something to do with it.

Nelle tells Felicia that she really just needs the basics, decluttering and organizing. She thinks her boyfriend might be available soon, and maybe move in.

Carly goes to the bathroom, and Sonny sees the bra. Which isn’t exactly where Nelle put it. He picks it up like the jackass he is, since no doubt Carly will come back to find him examining it.

Jordan gives Buzz a set of headphones and tells him to let her know if she hears the voice of Winston’s boss. It’s like a regular line-up except each person recites a line into a mic. She asks if he recognizes any of the voices.

Olivia tells Julian there’s an old Chinese proverb that says dig your well while you’re thirsty. In other words, be prepared.

Buzz isn’t sure. He asks to hear one of them again. Dante tells Ava to do it over.

Tomorrow, Julian asks Olivia what she did, Michael asks if the entire staff has been fired, and Sonny calls Nelle a bitch.

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! In the opening credits.

Stassi is packing for the trip to NOLA, and Kristen drops by. Stassi says she feels like it’s her own wedding, she’s so stressed, and has nightmares about Katie being disappointed in her. Kristen wants her to be fun and flirty, and forget about Patrick. We flash back to the disaster that was Kyle at Summer House. Kristen says that Patrick didn’t give her a solid reason to break up, but he was a bad boyfriend, and she deserves something to be excited about, not something wishy-washy. Stassi starts crying, and says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. In her interview, she hopes the NOLA trip lifts her spirits.

Ariana’s mom is visiting, and they talk horses. In her interview, Ariana says that since her mom lives in Florida, they only get to see each other a couple of times a year. Tom tells them about the fight that Schwartz and Katie had, which basically started over him and Ariana.

Lisa discusses actual work with manager Chad at SUR. He tells her that James is DJ-ing tonight. The Daily Mail is having a party and requested him. Lisa reminds James of the non-drinking policy. Ken tells him it’s a big chance and not to blow it. Lisa says if he lets her down, she’ll personally kick his ass.

Scheana is having a pool party at her mom’s house. We flash back to the fight and making up she had with Katie. Schwartz shows up wearing a block print “shirt” that looks an awful lot like a dress I have. He says it’s a mu-mu he bought in Hawaii that’s become a symbolic garment that he wears when he’s given up on the day. In his interview, Jax says Schwartz and Katie’s relationship is like a stinky room. Instead of finding the source of the problem, they just Febreze it away. Very astute for Jax. The girls play beer pong in the pool.

Stassi asks Katie what’s wrong, and she says she hasn’t really talked to Schwartz today. They discuss the shower and how Ariana put a damper on it. Katie says it’s frustrating when the man she’s going to marry puts another woman’s feelings above hers. She wonders if she needs to be blonder, thinner, or cooler to get Schwartz to respect her. My advice to Katie is – don’t do this. Stay with him if you must, but don’t marry him. IMO, if you’re not number one before the wedding, you aren’t going to be afterward.

Stassi talks to Brittany about the NOLA trip. Brittany asks what’s up with Katie and Schwartz. Katie is sitting by herself and they join her. Schwartz is talking to Kristen, who tells him to stop talking sh*t about Katie, and he says she can’t take any criticism. In his interview, Jax wonders if they should be getting married. Scheana tells Schwartz how to handle an argument, and Jax thinks she’s the last person who should be giving out marital advice. Like he knows all about this stuff.

Schwartz goes over to Katie and tries to give her a kiss. He apologizes and wants to hug it out, but she’s sticking with a high five, although she doesn’t think that’s going to solve it. She says it would be nice if he’d make her feelings a priority. He says that he does, but she says she’s not getting that from him. Me neither. I don’t think he should have asked Ariana to be in the bridal party. That was a real slap in the face to Katie.

Jax and Brittany pack. She wants to bring beach towels, but he says they’ll have towels at the hotel, then barks at her about the laundry needing to be done. In her interview, she says no matter how much he hurts her feelings, she can never get him to apologize. Another relationship that needs to take a powder.

Tom shows Ariana the butt pads he got for his drag costume. He insists she’s jealous.

Scheana talks to Shay while she’s packing, and says she hopes Katie and Schwartz are able to bring some harmony to their relationship. She adds a penis wand left over from the last bachelorette party to her suitcase. Like that might help.

Schwartz tells Katie he’ll have her back on the trip, and even if chaos erupts, they won’t turn on each other.

The gang is met with beads at the hotel. It’s Scheana and Shay’s second wedding anniversary, so they leave the group and will meet them later. Jax’s card has been declined, and Brittany has to pinch hit. Dump him. Dump him now. Everyone checks out their rooms, which are pretty nice, especially the suite Katie and Schwartz have. In her interview, Stassi feels like everyone expects her to be the life of the party, but she’s still feeling the break-up. She orders room service. Schwartz and Katie find a bottle of champagne and a note from Lisa, saying the room is on her, but only if they make good use of the bed.

Brittany has brought penis balloons, and Ariana has brought…I’m not sure what it is, but it’s big. Stassi comes to Katie and Schwartz’s suite, and tells them she ordered food sent to their room. Schwartz wants them to show their boobs at least once while they’re in NOLA, which is not received well by Katie.

The little horses! Lisa gives them some biscuits. Katie, Schwartz and Stassi call, and Lisa wonders why Stassi is with them. They thank her for the room and the champagne. She tells them to enjoy themselves and celebrate before the hard work begins. In her interview, Lisa says she didn’t have a bachelorette party because Ken was so naughty, she knew he’d misbehave if he had a bachelor party and they’d never get married.

The crew walks the street, where there is much drinking, flashing, and bead throwing. They stop to listen to a jazz band. In her interview, Stassi says the first time she got drunk was on Bourbon Street after prom, and she ended up being escorted back to the limo by the police after getting sick all over the place.

In his interview, Schwartz says he was skeptical about combining the parties, but now that he’s in NOLA, he’s enjoying it. They stop at a bar and separate – girls on one side, guys on the other. Tom gives Schwartz a shirt that says Tom #1, and he wears one that says Tom #2. Brittany has brought plastic “diamond” rings that you can drink shots out of.

Scheana gives Shay a boudoir book for their anniversary. In her interview, she says the first year was difficult, and we flash back to his addiction issues. She tells him it takes a lifetime to accomplish what he’s done in a year. He tells her the worst thing that could happen to him is losing her, and she’s the love of his life. They kiss. BTW, they’re divorced now.

Hurricanes for everyone! The drinks, not the weather. Scheana and Shay join the parties, and Ariana goes back and forth between the groups. Katie tells Tom that the time is just flying by, and she’s been losing her mind. She says 90% of the reason she and Schwartz fight is because of the tension with their friends. She tells him what happened with Ariana at the shower. He starts to defend Lala, and Katie doesn’t want to hear it. He thinks there’s something deeper with her and Schwartz’s arguing, and she says that’s not the case. Ariana discusses the same thing with Schwartz, but she thinks it’s the drinking. Schwartz says Ariana doesn’t remember a lot of the arguments, and Ariana says that’s scary. Apparently, it doesn’t take much to frighten her. Tom tells Katie they should learn to talk it out. In her interview, Katie says this is a party, and she doesn’t need to be discussing her relationship with Dr. Tom Sandoval. Schwartz joins them, and Katie tells him that Tom thinks they should go to therapy. Katie drifts away from the table.

Commercial break. Ha-ha! I love those Farmer’s Insurance commercials. This one has a hamster going up a guy’s pant leg while he’s driving. V.I.Poo needs to take a break though. Now they’re suggesting giving it as a gift. Yeah, that’s on everyone’s Christmas list.

James drops by SUR, and asks to talk to Lisa. He tells to her about the Daily Mail party and says it went really well. He says everything seems to be coming together for him. She asks what he’s doing on his off nights, and he begs for work, but she says no. She says if he shows her he’s sober for a year, maybe. He balks at a year, and she tells him she could say she never wants him back. He leaves on a kind of good note. As good as it’s going to get anyway.

Stassi wants to talk to Brittany, and they sit outside. Jax stupidly joins them, and Stassi says she doesn’t need everyone being coupley in front of her face. In her interview, Stassi says that Patrick knows about all the awful things Jax has done to her. He never wanted to come to group events because of it, and it made a wedge between them. We flash back to some of Jax’s many relationship atrocities. Jax thinks Patrick is using it as a cop out. I think he means excuse. Stassi says if Jax would apologize, it would mean everything. He acts like a jerk, and she tells him he doesn’t get it. No, and he’s never going to, so don’t bother trying.

Jax wonders what he should say, and Stassi tells him “sorry” would be good. He says he’s sorry and he was an a-hole, cheater, and liar. Wow. Oh wait, he’s drunk. He says he was a piece of sh*t, and gets all teary and keeps saying sorry. Good thing we have this on video. Stassi thanks him. In her interview, she says it’s vindicating. Brittany asks if they want some alone time, but Stassi says she needs a break.

Brittany feels a little jealous, since Jax can’t apologize to her. We flash back to their crappy relationship. Jax tells her that her attitude always stinks, and she tells him to name a time, but he can’t.

Next time, Schwartz and Katie argue, the guys dress in drag, Schwartz and Kristen argue, and Schwartz wants to cancel the wedding.

🍸 A new show snuck in on Bravo – So Cosmo – about the staff at Cosmopolitan. I haven’t checked it out yet, but I’m definitely curious. I haven’t read a Cosmo in decades, but I’m wondering if it’s still about how to get a man, how to keep a man, and how to get another man when you lose that one.

Feb7

February 6, 2017 – Hayden Tries to Save GH & Fences are (Kinda) Mended in LA

Posted on February 7, 2017 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Elizabeth and Franco bask In the afterglow. He wonders if it’s a dream. She says if it is, she doesn’t want to wake up. Very original.

Finn looks at his prescription pills.

Hayden tells Michael that he’s the progressive CEO she needs to help GH through the transition. Brad overhears, probably on purpose, and asks if GH has been sold.

Lucas tells Carly that Finn just came up with a cure for Blackwood’s Syndrome. Finn brushes off her accolades, and asks about Sonny. She wonders why he’s asking, and we flash back to Sonny helping him get his medication. Finn says that Sonny must be getting cabin fever being all cooped up, and maybe he should visit.

Nelle listens to the tape of Sonny while she looks at the rattle, which is apparently what she does on her off time. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Felicia. She says she there to do over Nelle’s bedroom with DIY magic.

Sam is leaving for the safe house. Jason has come to Sonny’s to say good-by. He tells her that it should be over soon. He says Curtis has been following Julian, and it’s only a matter of time.

Julian goes to the Chinese restaurant pawn shop whatever it is now. Curtis wonders why. He sees Julian closing the blinds. Olivia-J says that Julian is in a foul mood. She’s also concerned that he might have been followed. He asks if she’s playing a head game with him by being Alexis’s sponsor, and what the hell she wants.

Curtis puts the headphones on, but Oliva-J puts Chinese music on, drowning out what they’re saying. She tells Julian that he wanted her dead. He says he can’t change the past, and she says that she lost everything; he took away everything she had to live for. Outside, Curtis is annoyed that he can’t hear. Olivia says she had to hide for years from everyone she cared about. Julian asks her to name one. She ignores the question, and says she even has a sister she didn’t know about. He says she’s stalking Alexis, so she can’t be too worried. He says instead of threatening the family, she could be a part of it. He tells her that he’s had a chance to start over and she can too. She says it sounds lovely, but until he does what she says. it stays as it is. He asks why GH is so important to her

Hayden tells Brad she can’t give him confidential information. He says after being sick, she only has a few weeks to save a sinking ship. He tells her that she might as well throw everything overboard, and leaves. Hayden tells Michael if they can reduce one thing, they can reduce the deficit. He asks what the catch is.

Felicia talks to Nelle about what kind of decorating style she’d like. She tells Nelle that it’s a personal thing, so just talk about herself. I’m surprised Nelle is falling for this. The enemy of your enemy is not always your friend.

Sonny tells Sam that they both have to be on the sidelines. Sam say she’s not going.

Elizabeth has to get to work. Franco suggests she call in, saying he doesn’t want to leave the bed. He says he’s a little worried about what will happen to them outside the room. He’s afraid he’s going to screw things up. He tells her that he’s a tortured artist; being scared and needy comes with the territory. She says she doesn’t think that’s restricted to artists, and that everyone will have to accept that he’s in her life. She thinks they’re strong enough to work through it.

Felicia asks Nelle where she’s from. Nelle tells her Atlanta, but she’s not sure she wants to be reminded of it when she gets up in the morning. Felicia says, fresh start then. She wonders if Nelle’s boyfriend will be spending time there too.

Sonny tells Sam that if Jason is worried, he’ll be distracted. Sam says her father will know something is off, and the plan doesn’t make any sense. She says she and Danny aren’t the only ones in his family, but Jason says they’re all he cares about right now; he’ll worry about the rest later. Jason’s phone rings. Curtis tells him to get there now.

Finn tells Carly that Sonny has been good to him. Carly says that Sonny is busy with the trial coming up, but she’ll tell him that Finn asked about him. Carly sees Hayden and starts talking smack about her. Lucas tries to get her to shut up. She says Hayden is the last person GH needs handling the money. Hayden approaches them, and Finn says he assumes they know one another.

Sonny tries to convince Sam to go, but she thinks it will be a red flag. She says Jason wants to protect everyone, and just because she’s pregnant, that doesn’t mean she can’t take care of herself. She says if the boss lady figures it out, she might go after Jason, and she can’t have that.

Jason joins Curtis. He listens to the Chinese music. Curtis says he texted Brick, and specific noises can’t be isolated. He figures Julian and the boss lady are being extra cautious. He asks Jason what next. Jason says relax and wait.

Julian wants to turn the music down, but Olivia tells him not to. He asks why she wants to tear down GH and put up condos, since real estate was never her thing. She says it’ s a great investment and will provide her with a place to live, adding it beats the hell out of this dump. He says if the deal goes through. He tells her that the majority of the board members refuse to sell. Olivia tells Julian to pay them off or get them on board any way he can. He asks if he should just buy up the waterfront, but she says it has to be GH. Julian asks why.

The light bulb comes on over Carly’s head about Finn and Hayden. Finn says thanks to Amy 2.0, word got out at the hospital. Bobbie says it must be something about that name. Ha-ha! Nice nod to Amy the original. Finn tells Hayden, see you later. Michael tells Carly that Hayden got him a seat on the board, and they might be able to save the hospital. Carly says that’s great news. She doesn’t think she can forgive Hayden for what she did to Jason, but it would be great if she saves the hospital. She tells them not to mistake her for being warm and fuzzy though.

Nelle tells Felicia that he’s not exactly a boyfriend, and she doesn’t think he’ll be spending the night any time soon. Felicia asks for a glass of water, and looks around while Nelle goes into the kitchen. She finds small shopping bag with a bra in it. She looks at the tags and puts it back. Nelle asks what she’s doing.

One of Elizabeth’s kids busts in (I don’t know which one – not Jake), and she says she’ll be down in a minute. He asks Franco if he’s hurt. Franco says he is, and mom was nice enough to patch him up. The kid asks if they’re boyfriend/girlfriend. Elizabeth says they are, and asks how he feels about it. In typical kid fashion, he asks if they can have waffles for breakfast.

Curtis tells Jason that they’re going to blow their opportunity if they just sit there. Jason tells him to sit tight and she’s going to surface. Curtis says that even as a cop, he had a hard time with the waiting game. He says Jason has a talent for compartmentalizing. Jason wonders if something else is on Curtis’s mind.

Sonny tells Sam that they’ve both been through a lot and came out fine. He talks about how Jason has helped him. He says it comes down to them being family, and he owes her for that. They hug.

Hayden tells Carly that she’ll do everything she can to help GH; message received. She asks Michael if he wants to get going, but Carly reminds him that he was supposed to go over paperwork for Morgan’s foundation. She tells him go ahead though, and that GH is more important.

Felicia acts like she was coming up with decorating ideas. Carly calls Nelle, asking for help with the foundation. She asks Nelle to meet her at Sonny’s. Felicia says she’ll leave the stuff, and they can go over it next time. She says she can see herself out, because the door is only two feet away. When she’s gone, Nelle looks at the shopping bag and takes the bra out

Finn chews some pills. Brad asks if he’s feeling better. He asks what Brad wants. Brad says, security and peace of mind. He says he might be out of a job soon, so make sure they’re on the same page – he gets some credit for the cure. Finn says whatever he thinks he knows, he’s wrong. Brad says he knows he wants to be compensated, so pay up or shut up. Lucas is standing behind him.

Curtis tells Jason that he can’t stand to see bad guys get away with stuff, and whoever planted the bomb is really bad. He says it’s also about the cop in him – the man he used to be, and the man he wanted to be. He lost that man a long time ago and wants to get him back, but his mistakes still haunt him. Jason says he thinks that Curtis is worried about one person in particular. Curtis says the truth will set you free, and if they find it, he might be able to prove he’s that man.

Olivia-J says she has fond memories of GH. Julian says the whole town holds painful memories for her, and he can’t fathom why she’s even back. She says all he needs to know is what happens if he’s not successful. She brings up GH’s security cameras on her laptop. She says it makes it easier to see Julian’s son and his husband.

Lucas asks Brad what they were talking about. Brad says nothing. Lucas says funny, it sounded like Brad was blackmailing Finn.

Bobbie asks Felicia how it went. Felicia thinks Nelle is less than truthful about her boyfriend, because she’s not the best detective.

Carly brings Nelle with her to Sonny’s. She tells Nelle to get something from the bedroom. She asks if Nelle knows where it is, and Nelle says she’s sure she can find her way.

Olivia-J talks about Lucas and Brad’s wedding. Julian asks why she’s watching them, and she says why do you think? That was a really stupid question. Julian is even more dense than usual today. She tells him that his son, Leo, is doing fine too, and asks if he wants her to send someone there again. He says he’ll get her GH, but lay off his family.

The music stops. Curtis and Jason hear Julian say, no more threats, and that he’s tired of living in fear of his sister. Jason tries to get a picture.

Brad makes it sound like he was just standing up for himself and overreacted. Lucas says there was a tone in his voice like how he used to be. He says Brad had changed, and he wants to be able to depend on him. Brad says he’ll always take care of Lucas and their relationship. Lucas says sorry for doubting him. Love must be blind.

Finn takes some more pills.

Hayden asks Michael what he thinks, and asks if there’s another solution. Michael says her figures are good. He agrees that the only way to stay open is making personnel cuts across the board, including the nurses.

Felicia tells Bobbie that she found a bra with a price tag in the hundreds of dollars. They think Nelle’s boyfriend must have money. These two are like Lucy and Ethel being detectives.

Sonny thinks they should ask Diane to take care of the foundation business, but Carly says she’s taking care of the trial. She says the only thing she wants more than the foundation starting is Diane getting him off the hook. She’s sure it can be handled with Nelle’s help. Upstairs, Nelle plants the fancy bra in the bed. Hope she took the tags off. My pickiness is also rearing its head. I think most women would be able to tell if a bra is brand new and has never been worn.

Tomorrow, Maxie confronts Nina, Curtis wants to talk to Sonny, and Nelle wishes she could pay Carly back.

Vanderpump Rules

Ugh! James! In showing bits from last week, we see how he licked his hand and wiped it on GG’s face – after he said he’d never sleep with someone so disgusting. Raquel deserves what she gets. If someone I was dating did that, I’d leave with the other girl.

Katie and Tom get RSVPs, but Katie forgot to put in the line where the name is indicated, so many of them will be a surprise. There is one that has a small sketch of a penis in reply, so they figure that it’s Jax or Tom. Kristen drops by, and Katie tells her about Scheana sending her some angry texts, and says she seems to be distancing herself. In her interview, Katie thinks both Scheana and Ariana need to get it together before the trip. She’s hoping Ariana will find it in her heart to apologize to Stassi. Good luck with that. I don’t think “I’m sorry” is in her vocabulary.

In her interview, Ariana says that for thirty years she’s despised models (how old is she? did she despise them right out of the womb?), so it’s hard to reconcile dating one. Jax talks about the kerfuffle with James, saying James started it, but Ariana says that’s not true. Lisa comes in, and Ariana tells her about the James chaos. In her interview, Lisa says she wanted James to rebuild himself, and Jax and Scheana aren’t helping. Scheana admits that what they did was mean and wrong. Jax says, of course it is, but he’s going to do it anyway because he hates James. Alrighty then.

Tom has been talking to a top agency in LA. Apparently, Jessica Simpson’s father is a photographer, and Tom is having him take some shots. While Tom’s makeup is being done, Schwartz tells him about the issues Katie has with Ariana. Schwartz says he has to be Team Katie for the next month, and Tom says he’ll talk to Ariana. In his interview, Tom talks about how some people think a part of their soul is being taken away when they’re photographed, but he thinks it gives his soul life. I’m sorry.

James meets Raquel for dinner. She tells him that GG called her an idiot for thinking James will be faithful. She wants to know how GG had the opportunity to get his clothes. He makes up something totally unbelievable. He claims he had a lot to drink and wasn’t cognizant of everything, but insists he didn’t have sex with anyone else. We see the Polaroid of him in bed with another girl . She says she doesn’t know if he can stay loyal while she’s away, and he says she just has to trust him. Seriously, she can do better than this.

Jax and Brittany go to church. And I’m not talking about a dance step. Brittany thinks it’s a small change he can make for her, but I’m guessing he won’t look at it as small. He talks about having the same part in the church Christmas play every year when he was a kid, because he couldn’t memorize lines. His had one line, “I bring you frankincense,” and I’m surprised he wasn’t playing a donkey or a sheep. The pastor hits home with his message about anger, although considering how much Jax is lacking, it’s probably not hard to hit home with most topics. He’s hoping this gets Brittany and her mother back on Team Jax. I have news for him. I think they’re going to want him to go more than once. By no stretch of the imagination do I not want Jax to come to Jesus, but if it happens, Jesus will be coming for me right then because I’ll have a heart attack.

Stassi makes dinner for her mom, who just had a hysterectomy. Toast and raw cookie dough. I’m not so sure the doctor would think that’s the best thing to feed her. Katie joins them. Stassi’s little brother had gotten close to Patrick, and points out that Stassi has her friends to rally around her, but Patrick has no one and he wants to talk to him. Stassi explains that she still loves Patrick, but doesn’t want to go another round. She says she needs to be alone for a while; she feels like she’s losing it and needs him to be supportive. Nicolai puts his arm around her, tells her life is tough, especially in your 20s, and that he loves her. Supportive he is. And very kind and wise for one so young. With a brother like Nicholai, Stassi can’t be all bad.

Tom and James go to a coffee bar. Tom talks about a short Peter is producing that he’s playing a small part in. He brings up the dissension of the other night. James says he should be flattered that the girls went out of their way to proclaim he slept with them. Tom suggests he concentrate on his new gig.

Peter says his film is like Star Wars meets Avatar, and thinks it’s going to be fantastic. If he says so. Tom gets suited up in some fake armor. He stands in front of a green screen and does his lines. After about 20,000 takes, he nails it. The finished product actually doesn’t look bad. He talks to Ariana about his conversation with Schwartz. Ariana says no one is getting an apology from her, and Tom suggests she not be so blunt. She says she’s not a sugar-coater, but I think there’s a difference between that, and being downright nasty.

Harrison! Scheana comes to Lisa’s house with Pandora, who is looking for some sangria, since she’s having a party for Katie. Lisa hopes no one screws it up. Scheana says Katie’s attitude has been horrible, and she’s getting mad about every little thing. Scheana claims that she was a very calm bride, but the flashbacks tells us differently. In her interview, Scheana thinks Katie is taking it to the extreme. Lisa tells her that these will be big memories for Katie, and if there’s a problem and she’s in the middle of it, she’ll be held responsible. In her interview, Lisa thinks Stassi has created a different dynamic between the girls, and is behind everything bad in the world.

Schwartz meets the groomsmen for drinks. They talk about going full drag on the streets when they go to NOLA. What does that mean for Ariana? Jax talks about what he’s going to wear. In his interview, he says he doesn’t mind going all the way, but he’s not shaving his beard, so he’s going to be one ugly woman. Schwartz says that he thinks Ariana was harsh with Stassi, it escalated, and the girls think maybe she doesn’t really want to be involved. She says she won’t apologize, but she’ll try to make it copacetic. They toast to the best bachelor party ever.

The girls arrive at Pandora’s house. The party is outside, and no surprise, it’s a gorgeous space. We take a house tour, and I want to move in immediately. Stassi says she knows now that she chose the wrong parents. You and me both, sista.

Jax comes to Lisa’s office. He’s there to pick up his tips, but he also asks Lisa if she has any clothing they can borrow for their drag show. He wonders if she has any old costume jewelry, and she asks if she looks like someone who would, but says they can borrow a few things.

At Pandora’s, a woman comes in to do hand massages peels. Is this a party thing now? Scheana thinks Ariana should apologize to Stassi, but Stassi says she doesn’t want an apology that’s insincere. Ariana claims that what she said didn’t come out of nowhere. Stassi says she feels like Ariana didn’t have to take things as far as she did, and that even if she doesn’t want to be friends, she doesn’t have to make her feel badly when they’re all together. Ariana says she’ll try to have a more open mind. In her interview, Stassi says she thinks they’ll be fine, which is good enough for her.

During lunch, the girls talk about apologies and being sincere. Katie feels like it’s the decent thing to do if someone’s feelings are hurt. She says these are once-in-a-lifetime events for her, and they’ve chosen the people they want to be involved with the wedding, so it should be an amazing time and not negative. In her interview, Scheana takes this as her getting Ariana to sort-of apologize wasn’t enough. Katie says she hasn’t been there for a lot of the bridesmaids’ stuff, but some things have made her feel uncomfortable, referring to Scheana’s complaints to her. Scheana says she’s sorry for involving her where she shouldn’t have. She says that Katie drunk texts her nasty things, and that she’s a different person when she drinks. Stassi says everyone changes when they drink, but Scheana says it doesn’t change the way she deals with her friends, and that Katie is a mean drunk. Katie says Scheana acts fake a lot of the time. Scheana gets upset, wonders why anyone is friends with her, apologizes loudly, and leaves the table after throwing her napkin down. Katie says that she’s a nice person, unless you screw with her, and that the wedding has been tainted by a-holeness. Scheana comes back and says she’ll apologize again, but she’s leaving. The girls talk her into staying, because we’re at a sixth grade sleepover, and in her interview, Katie says that as a friend, she should be able to voice her feelings. She tells Scheana that she loves her, but she has to be honest. They hug it out.

Tom, Jax and Ariana go to Villa Rosa to check out Lisa’s closet. As you can imagine, it’s quite a closet. Jax tries on an outfit, and Lisa doesn’t think it’s the first time he’s tried on a dress. He thinks he might have it on backward, so I’m not positive about that. In his interview, Jax says he has a new respect for what women have to go through. Lisa says this is the kind of thing blackmails are made of.

Katie and Schwartz go out for dinner. She wonders why he’s wearing his wedding ring already. She makes him promise not to take it off around hot chicks. He talks about Ariana, and claims they don’t know the whole story. Katie says she was there, he wasn’t, and she’s surprised that he’s defending Ariana. She doesn’t want a shadow cast on her day, and says for the last six years, she’s been her own support system. She didn’t ask Ariana to be a bridesmaid for a reason. She thinks Ariana is stuck up and elitist, but Schwartz says it’s called being emotionally mature. IMO, Ariana wants to act like she’s mature, but comes off as stuck up and elitist. Or maybe she’s using maturity as an excuse to be stuck up and elitist. Katie tells him to knock it off, and he says he should know better than to disagree with her opinion. She gets up and walks out, leaving her food and Schwartz to deal with the check.

Next time, Katie says she has limits, James thanks Lisa for an opportunity, and the gang goes to NOLA.

Jan31

January 30, 2017 – Light Bulbs Come On at GH & James Gets an Expensive Nap

Posted on January 31, 2017 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna apologizes to Griff; she’d wanted to tell him about Claudette’s death herself. She brings him flowers, saying she’s sorry for his loss. He says Claudette made mistakes, but she didn’t deserve to die like that. Anna says she’s been there, and can relate to why he attacked Valentin.

Nina brings Valentin to The Floating Rib. She says he probably hates it since he’s used to five-star restaurants, but he tells her he used to frequent some pretty seedy places. They discuss the merits of dives, and Nina says the mac and cheese at the Rib is better than at the MetroCourt.

At the station, Kiki tells Dante and Nathan what happened with Sam. She says it’s been a lot longer than the fifteen minutes she said she’d wait. Nathan tells Dante he’ll deal with it while Dante makes out the search warrant for Alexis’s place.

Seth tells Elizabeth that Franco ran away to save himself. She says he wouldn’t go without telling her, and the only way he’d disappear is if something bad happened or he’s dead. We see the shelf of trophies again.

Franco tells Sam that he doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t think she’s worried about Julian though; he thinks she’s worried that Alexis is involved with Tom’s murder.

Alexis goes to the station. She tells Dante that she’s fully prepared to cooperate with the investigation into Tom’s murder.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s been doing research on how to explain surrogacy to a child. She gives him a story she made up about an egg, but Valentin prefers a more clinical approach. Nina says Charlotte will be hopelessly confused. She says she has a problem with Lulu spilling the embryo beans, but Valentin says what’s done is done, and that’s why they have to talk to Charlotte now.

Griff tells Anna that he preaches about the power of forgiveness, yet he’s constantly challenged by it in his own life. Yep, that’s usually how it works. He can’t forgive Valentin, and doesn’t know what to do. He needs to find some answers. Anna says Valentin did give up some of his secrets, and it’s given her a place to start. She says he claims that he’s grateful for her rejection, but she’s not buying it. Griff calls Valentin a murderer, but Anna says there’s no proof, and it’s only his opinion. If he continues to attack Valentin, he could end up arrested.

Elizabeth tells Seth that Tom turned the tables on Franco and escaped. Seth says, then he was murdered, and wonders how she can trust Franco. She says Franco has changed, but Seth says it’s a lie. She asks where that leaves his own brother, inferring that Tom didn’t change either.

Kiki begs Nathan to save Franco. Nathan wonders why Sam went by herself, and Kiki says she wanted to talk to Franco before the police did.

Sam wants to know why Franco suspects Alexis. He says that Alexis was there. He tells Sam about running into Alexis at Gene’s, and then finding the picture of her and Tom in a booth there on the night in question.

Dante interviews Alexis. Why isn’t Diane with her? He says there’s increasing suspicion that she was involved with Tom’s murder. She says she is; she killed him.

Nina asks when Valentin was going to tell Charlotte, and he says someday. He tells her that his father Mikkos died when he was young. He spent a lot of time in England because Mikkos was hiding him from Helena. Stavros was obsessed with Lulu, and harvested her eggs against her will. It was found out that Stavros couldn’t father a child, so Helena set up Valentin and Daphne, and Daphne drugged him. He says rather than having his child raised under Helena’s thumb, he stole the embryo.

Anna talks to Griff about Valentin’s past. She says his talent for linguistics at Oxford led him to training at the WSB. She tells Griff about Valentin’s boarding school burning down.

Nathan tells Kiki to stay there, and asks if there’s anything else. Kiki says Franco knew who killed Tom, and explains how he didn’t want to hurt the family. She says that the way Sam was acting, she thinks it has something to do with her. She tells Nathan that she doesn’t care if he arrests Franco on the spot, as long as he’s safe.

Sam tells Franco that just because Alexis was having a drink with Tom doesn’t mean she killed him. Franco says, well, he didn’t. She asks what he was going to do with the picture, and he says he wasn’t going to the police with it. She wonders if he’s still going to protect Alexis after the police get there.

Diane bursts into the interrogation room. She says Alexis was acting so weird, she followed her. She tells her to wrap it up and let’s get going. Dante says that Alexis just confessed to Tom’s murder. Alexis says she can’t live like this anymore. Diane tries to get Dante to leave, but Alexis says she needs her friend to listen to her.

Seth says Tom tried to become the man he should have been, and Franco did none of that. He tells Elizabeth that his mother is sick. She was happy Tom was home, but her health is going to plummet now. Elizabeth says sorry about his mom, but she’s not trying to bring more pain to the family; she just wants to find Franco. Seth says, face it, he’s not coming back. He tells her to see herself out. When he leaves the room, she she’s a scrapbook peeking out from under a chair. It’s opened to a page with Kiki’s picture on it.

Valentin tells Nina that when he stole the embryo, he was prepared to kill Helena, but she wasn’t there. He approached Claudette, who seemed like the perfect candidate for a surrogate. She double-crossed him, but took good care of Charlotte. He was going to wait until Charlotte was old enough to understand, and if she wanted to reach out to Lulu, they would do that. Now Charlotte is asking questions she can’t understand the answers to. He says he’ll always do whatever he can for his daughter. Nina says she’s lucky to have him as a father. He says he’s the lucky one. She brought him love he thought he didn’t deserve.

Anna tells Griff that Valentin resurfaced as Theo Hart, specializing in smash and grab jewelry heists. She thinks he used his profit share for his surgeries, explaining that he was disfigured and had scoliosis. She says that’s why she didn’t recognize him until he stammered. She tells Griff that he wasn’t a monster back then; he was a brilliant trainee, but something must have happened that he’s not telling her about and she can’t remember.

Dante questions Alexis about how she knew Tom. She says she got drunk with him the day of Morgan’s funeral, but she didn’t know who he was. She woke up in a motel room, worried that she’d slept with him, because she’d been having blackouts. She had a blackout the night he was killed.

Sam says Franco isn’t going to sacrifice himself for her mother. He tells her that if Alexis killed Tom, she had a good reason. She has a great life, but has been through a lot. He says he’d like to make up for the sleepless nights he’s caused Sam, so if the police hear about it, it won’t be from him. Franco coughs up some blood. Nathan busts in with some cops. Sam tells him that Franco needs to go to the hospital.

The scrapbook contains pictures of various women in it, including Elizabeth. She wastes time looking through it until Seth comes back out and sees her. What an idiot she is. I would have grabbed that thing and run.

Nina tells Valentin that they’re kindred spirits. She says she hasn’t led a blameless life either, but there’s a little girl whose life is at stake. Valentin says he won’t risk custody of Charlotte by doing anything stupid. He tells Nina that she’s unpredictable, wild, and lovely.

Griff has to run tests on Franco, since he was beaten pretty severely. Kiki comes into his room, and says she was worried, but she’s glad he’s alive. She and Elizabeth were losing their minds. He asks where Elizabeth is, and Kiki says she texted her.

Seth asks Elizabeth what the book is and where she found it. She tells him it was under the sofa. He says he’s never seen it before. He thought Tom got better, and he’d sworn that he didn’t have impulses anymore. Elizabeth says Franco was right, and it’s proof that Tom was still a predator.

Alexis tells Dante that she was drunk the next time she saw Tom, and told him she wasn’t interested. She left the bar, and he followed her outside. He grabbed her, and pulled out a knife when she screamed. She went into a primal rage and got the knife away. She says she raised her hand to stab him – Diane adds, in self-defense – and she must have stabbed him, since he was found dead the next day. Diane asks if she remembers killing him, but Alexis says that she only has flashes of memory. Diane says maybe she didn’t do it, and Dante can’t arrest her on the basis of what she just said.

Nina tells Valentin he’s very special to her, and her family means everything to her. She suggests that they start protecting their family and tell Charlotte. Anna interrupts and asks to speak with Valentin. She tells him that she understands why he held on to the picture – because she inspired him to remake his life. Nina asks what she’s talking about.

Dante asks Alexis if she had blood on her clothes. She says she checked, and there was nothing, but maybe she washed. Diane suggests not making the case for them, and reiterates that it was self-defense. Dante says they’ll check out her place, but maybe some pictures will jog her memory. He shows her a picture of Tom’s body In the alleyway, and asks if she remembers anything. She flashes back to getting the knife from Tom and coming after him. He begs her not to kill him, and she drops the knife. She tells Tom, screw you, and jets. In the present, she tells Dante that she dropped the knife and ran. She didn’t do it.

Franco’s vitals are stable, but Griff says he should rest. Nathan says he’ll be outside, and Franco says good, but where is he gonna go? Nathan says they’ll send in Elizabeth as soon as she gets there. Kiki wonders what’s keeping her, and Nathan tells them about her going after Seth. Out at the reception desk, Griff tells Sam that Jason should be fine. He’s taken her by surprise, and she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Elizabeth tells Seth that Franco is still missing, but now the police will take her seriously about him trying to protect her. She says Franco didn’t kill Tom, but there has to be something in there that’s a lead. She takes the book and says she’s going to the police with it.

Kiki leaves the hospital room. Franco remembers being in the storage unit and writing the note. He flashes back to looking at the trophies, wondering again where he’s seen them before. Seth’s house, you moron!

Anna says if there’s anything more Valentin needs to know just ask. She tells him something in (I think) Latin, and says he’ll know what it means. When she’s gone, Nina asks what’s going on between him and Anna.

Sam gets Jason’s room number and runs for the elevator.

Dante asks if Alexis saw anyone else. She says she was afraid, and just wanted to get home before anyone knew. Diane asks if Dante thinks she’s innocent, and he says he does. Diane says it doesn’t look like self-defense, but a brutal vengeful murder. Dante says his sights are still set on Franco.

Nathan calls the station and lets them know what’s happening. Kiki wants to check on Elizabeth, and tells Nathan that if she shows up to have her call.

Franco ponders where he’s seen the trophies. He remembers. He sits up and says Elizabeth is in trouble.

Seth tells Elizabeth that he should be the one to bring the evidence to the station. She suggests they both go, but he’s hesitant. She says she’ll meet him there, and moves to the door. Seth stops her from leaving.

Tomorrow, Ava and Sonny argue, Franco wants to talk to the cops, and Valentin comes clean with Nina… maybe.

Vanderpump Rules

Wesley, a Villa Blanca bartender, is getting a drink-making lesson from Tom and Ariana on what they do at SUR and PUMP. Lisa asks if Wesley knows any of the staff, and he mentions that James has been there. Lisa tells him to never serve James. Tom says he’s taking James to hypnotherapy to get a handle on his emotions, but Lisa thinks he just needs to drink less. Wesley says they haven’t had any issues with him, but he’s only been there once.

James’s mom, Jacqueline, meets him for lunch. The divorce has been hard on James. He hasn’t seen her in a while, and wants to catch up. He tries to explain the mess he’s made of his life, comparing it to having given Lisa too many slices of pie. Jacqueline says at the end of the day, people are jealous, and James agrees that he’s been a threat to some people. I realize your mother is your mother, but this guy seriously doesn’t have a clue. He invites his mom to his new gig. They talk about Raquel, and James tells Jacqueline that Kristen has been lying about him sleeping with women other than Raquel. Jacqueline says she’s probably barren and that’s going to be her karma. I fail to see how this would even things out, but I see where James gets his charm. Really. That was just weird. I wonder what James’s karma would be, since he’s lying about Kristen lying.

It’s time for Brittany’s mom, Sherri, to go back to Kentucky. She thanks her mom for being a good sport, especially about the roast. Sherri asks Brittany if she’s sure that Jax hasn’t cheated on her, and has some things she wants to talk to Jax about. I’m sure Jax will be thrilled and so forthcoming.

Jax comes in with healthy food. He tells Sherri that he’s glad she could share his birthday with him. He apologizes for not being able to take her to the airport because he has to work. In his interview, Jax says he loves Sherri, but the second she’s gone, he’s eating hot wings while watching Sports Center in his underwear.

Sherri quizzes Jax on being gay, but he tells her he’s never gone down that road. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Brittany thinks he’s being defensive, and he says he’s gotten that question before. She tells him that no one is attacking him, but he can’t get out the door fast enough. On his way out, he suggests Brittany tell her mom how she’s been sitting on the couch for a year while he takes care of her. Well, he might pay most of the bills, but she’s hardly sitting around eating bonbons all day.

After Jax leaves, Brittany apologizes to her mother, and says it’s not okay. In her interview, she says Jax tends to turn things around and make her the bad guy. Jax comes back in, and apologizes that Sherri had to see them argue. Sherri says she just wants them to be happy. Jax says that he gives Brittany everything, and asks for nothing in return except to do what he wants. Whatever that means. And what about the constant demand for turkey sandwiches? Brittany pops back in from the other room, saying she’s never stopped him from doing anything. She tells him not to act like she’s ungrateful, because that’s not in her character. Jax thinks the other girls have been influencing Brittany. Sherri stops things before it turns into a fight, and suggests again that they go to church. Jax says maybe he does need Jesus, and that he needs something.

Lisa checks out the new paint for the entryway at SUR. It’s a yes. Katie tells Lisa that Scheana was complaining to her about the cost of the shower. Lisa says that isn’t something that Katie should even be involved with. That should be a given, and I’m starting to think maybe Scheana was raised by wolves. In her interview, Katie wonders if she should have relinquished control of anything, but I don’t know of any bride who planned their own shower.

Schwarz goes for a suit fitting with his groomsmen, including Ariana. He’s getting a custom-tailored suit, and the groomsmen will be in black, with their ties matching his suit. Tom asks if they can wear vests, and pouts when Schwartz says he’d prefer not. Hans and Franz would have a field day with this girly-man. Schwartz ends up agreeing, and Tom compares it to Stassi crying and getting herself invited to the engagement party.

The bridesmaids are having a lunch, and Scheana finally forks over the money for the wedding events. Brittany tells the girls about Jax being defensive with her mother. Stassi says she can relate, since he used to start fights in front of her parents all the time. They discuss the bachelorette party. Apparently, the bachelor party will be in the same locations, because Kristen has texted Tom about going to New Orleans, adding that Vegas isn’t an option. Schwartz likes the idea of the Bahamas, but not everyone has a passport. Stassi suggests if they go to NOLA, she do the heavy planning, since that’s her home turf. In her interview, Scheana says that Stassi is back to steamrolling everyone and making it about her, like that isn’t a legitimate suggestion. Not to mention that Scheana spaces out if the topic isn’t about her for more than five seconds. Brittany asks Stassi if Ariana being a groomsman is awkward, since they’ve had a falling out, but Stassi blows it off. The groom agrees to NOLA.

Lisa accompanies Katie to a flower shop so she can help with wedding flower ideas. Katie tells Lisa how Schwartz says they don’t need flowers because he’s such a cheapskate. I’m a cheapskate that way too. When we were getting married, neither one of us were members of the church we were being married in. I couldn’t see the logic in spending hundreds of dollars for something that everyone was going to see for an hour and then got left in a place we had no connection to. For the reception centerpieces, we had bud vases with a single bloom in them. Elegant and inexpensive. Lisa brings up the argument that Katie and Schwartz had the other night, telling her that the mean texts that go back and forth don’t help anything. She tells Katie that they’ll have enough battles in their life to fight – they need to unite and fight the world together.

Tom tells James that hypnotherapy is about being the best version of yourself, and that James needs to get in control of his emotions because he tends to overreact. James is skeptical, since Kristen had him do crystal therapy. We flash back to that. He wonders if he’ll wake up a changed man. The therapist comes to his apartment, and they discuss his drinking. She says only he can make changes in himself, and asks what he wants. He says he wants to make music, but doesn’t want to present himself as a jerk. He has a performance coming up, A Study in Hollywood, and he wants it to be positive. In his interview, Tom says that underneath his defense mechanisms, James is a delicate guy. He actually says “delicate guy.” Delicate isn’t a word I’d use in regard to James.

The session is over. The therapist says he’s rejuvenated and full of ideas now. Yay! All better!

Ariana is going horseback riding, and brings Scheana along. In her interview, Ariana talks about her first horse, Raven, saying it’s hard to explain the relationship between horse and rider. She got Raven when they were both eight, and Raven died when they were both thirty. She chokes up, and although I’m not too keen on Ariana lately, I feel for her. Twenty-two years is a long time to have an animal. Scheana watches as Ariana rides, and Tom joins her. After Ariana is finished, Tom tells her about the hypnotherapy session. In her interview, Scheana thinks it’s going to take more than that to cure James, and says the way he treats women is disgusting. Agreed and agreed.

Tom tells them about Schwartz and Katie doing a prenup. Scheana says she’d never do something like that, but Ariana and Tom think it’s a good idea since you never know what’s going to happen.

Katie and Schwartz go to the lawyer’s office. In her interview, Katie talks about Schwartz’s frugal ways, and gloats a little about him having just spent $2500 for the prenup. Katie has no assets, and the lawyer laughs when he sees Schwartz’s list. They talk about sharing custody of their dogs in the event of a divorce, and how they would each keep their own money made throughout the marriage. In his interview, Schwartz says doing the adult thing is not fun. I get that they’re doing this in case they do make money someday, but this is probably the easiest money that lawyer ever made. I also wonder about their lack of assets, considering they have jobs at SUR and Vanderpump Rules is in its fifth season.

Scheana tells Ellie about running into James and Raquel. They decide to attend James’s gig and make him uncomfortable. Somehow, Scheana thinks this will make him take accountability for his actions. Imagine the sound the buzzer makes when you get the answer wrong on Family Feud.

Jax and Brittany go out for dinner. He apologizes for arguing in front of Brittany’s mom, and she says Sherri was pretty uncomfortable. He asks her about the church her mother suggested, and tells her that he used to go to church camp and recites some rhyme about keeping your elbows off the table. In his interview, Jax talks about holy oil and not understanding what it’s for. Brittany tells him about the girls planning to go to James’s gig. He thinks it’s a great idea, and she reminds him that he’s still on probation.

Schwartz, Katie, Tom, Ariana, and Stassi as the fifth wheel, go to a painting class. In her interview, Katie tells us that painting isn’t her strong suit, but in the words of Bob Ross, there are no mistakes, just happy accidents. Scwartz asks if everyone is cool with everyone. Stassi thinks Ariana speaks to her in a callous and condescending way. Ariana asks why she cares, and Stassi says because they’re friends with the same people. She’s uncomfortable for them, it makes people unhappy, and it’s hurting her feelings. Tom says that thing about only you can make you feel a certain way, which is what people say who have just hurt your feelings. Katie agrees that it’s making things awkward, and wants it to stop. In her interview, Ariana thinks Stassi is acting entitled, but I think she is being callous and condescending. She definitely has a superiority complex. In his interview, Tom says Katie can’t get upset because Ariana is included in the groomsmen activities when she tried to exclude her to begin with. Yes, young and clueless Tom, this is exactly the point. Katie didn’t want her involved with the wedding in the first place, and obviously no one, including the groom, cared about her feelings.

James says that this is the night he’s been waiting for, and he’s going to kill it. Kill what? His career? Tom wonders what Jax is doing there, and Jax says he has an ulterior motive. Tom tells him, I’ll bet. James does some rapping. He seems winded. It’s maybe okay, but I don’t think Kanye West has anything to worry about. Kristen and Carter arrive, and now Tom is like, wtf? He says it reminds him of The Matrix when the black cat walked by twice – something is about to happen. Kristen explains about GG and Ellie being there to make James feel unsettled.

GG introduces herself to Raquel, and Raquel suggests that GG is obsessed with James. GG tells her that she’s delusional, and asks if there are unicorns in her world. Ha-ha! James comes over, and then Ellie steps forward, giving him the clothes she borrowed when she slept over. He says she’s disgusting, that he’d never have sex with the likes of her, and calls her a slut. She slaps him, sort of, and Kristen calls Jax over to watch. Tom gets involved. In his interview, he says they don’t care about Raquel; they’re just mad that they slept with James. Well, yeah.

Somehow it starts. James gets in Jax’s face and then darts away. Jax throws his drink toward James, and James throws a glass that shatters. There’s a bunch of confusion, and Kristen gets James kicked out. Outside, James screams at Tom that all his friends are lowlifes and losers. In his interview, James says that Jax is jealous. Because this has to be the only reason that someone wouldn’t like him. Tom asks Jax what the blip, and Jax says James tried to kick him. In his interview, Tom says it’s not enough that James got fired from PUMP; they have to follow him somewhere else. Jax insists that James was antagonizing him, and Tom says that he can’t blame James. I guess the hypnotherapy didn’t work.

Next time, the boys raid Lisa’s closet, Raquel questions James’s loyalty, and Scheana throws a hissy fit.

Postscript: I saw James rap on the subsequent Watch What Happens Live, and he was marginally better, but I don’t think anybody has anything to worry about. His performance sort of reminded me of a bad rap version of Oliver!