Tag Archives: Watch What Happens Live

May24

May 23, 2017 – The Ball Begins, Travis Menaces Kelly, the Anchor Tangles & a Phantom of the Paradise Flashback

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Mario Lopez is coming to us live from the red carpet, along with Nina.

Sam asks Jason what’s going on; he hasn’t been the same since the nightmare. He doesn’t get a chance to answer, since Jake arrives with Elizabeth and Franco. He pulls a billion silk scarves from his pocket.

Ava hauls out the giant check. Scotty says she’s just trying to assuage her guilt for what she did to Morgan.

Michael stops by Sonny’s house to drop off Morgan’s journal. He thinks it stinks that Sonny and Carly can’t even be in the same ballroom together.

Carly tells Bobbie about catching Sonny with Martina. Bobbie suggests stringing Sonny up by his cummerbund, but Carly says Sonny isn’t coming to the ball. A year ago, they had so much to look forward to, and now look.

Michael tries to talk Sonny into going to the ball, but it’s a no. He asks why Sonny wanted Morgan’s journal.

Valentin arrives with his date, Charlotte. Nina doesn’t bat an eye when Mario introduces him as her husband, and takes Charlotte to pose for the paparazzi. Valentin tells Nina she looks beautiful, and Charlotte says she misses her. Nina makes the excuse of having a lot of work. Charlotte says Lulu picked out her dress, and Nina suggests thanking her. Valentin asks what he can do to make things right, but Nina says there’s nothing. He should have put his family first. He says Anna will never come between them again, and begs Nina to come back. Anna arrives with Emma and Felicia.

Michael talks to Sonny about Morgan being fine last year. He wonders what happened, and thinks about it all the time. He asks what sent Morgan off the rails, but Sonny doesn’t know, and doesn’t know if he’ll ever find out.

Scotty tells Ava that’s a hefty amount, and Ava sys Lucy put the squeeze on her. Lucy floats by, and Scotty gives her flowers from him and Serena. Ava asks if they’re all set for tonight, and Lucy says everyone got the memo that her donation is in memory of Morgan.

Carly tells Bobbie that she feels sorry for Sonny. Bobbie does too – in this one isolated department. Carly says they’re trying to understand why, and Bobbie wishes she had the answer. She says there’s still life to be lived and people to be loved though. They hug. Josslyn walks in and joins them. Bobbie says, opening number, here she comes; and the three of them leave for the ball, arm in arm.

Nina ditches Valentin. She emphasizes that Anna is with her granddaughter. Emma gives a shout out to Robin, who’s at home with her feet up. Griff joins them. Charlotte talks to Emma, who suggests she can be a magician’s assistant too.

Jake goes in to put some finishing touches on his act. Jason seems troubled, or as Sam puts it, weird. He says it felt like more than a nightmare. Helena took everything he loved away from him, and he can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

Charlotte goes backstage with Emma. Griff asks Anna what’s up with her and Valentin, and why would she want anything else to do with him. She says because of this, and shows him the necklace.

Jason tells Sam there’s a lot he still doesn’t remember. He wonders why Helena would still be in his head.

Nina introduces Franco, Elizabeth and Jake. Franco says the Nurses Ball isn’t going to know what hit it. I’ll bet. Epiphany and Felix are next, followed by Amy 2.0. Nathan rescues her from answering questions. Mario asks where Maxie is, and Nathan says she’s working. The Queen of the Nurses Ball graces the red carpet – Lucy.

Scotty asks Ava if she’s flaunting her affair with Morgan. She says it’s a gesture, and he suggests it might offend Morgan’s parents with a public reminder of what happened. He tells her not to do it.

Sonny tells Michael he’s going to try and piece together what Morgan did, and why. Michael tells him good luck. Sonny sits down with the journal. After reading something, he picks up the phone and says he needs to see someone right away. It’s about Morgan.

Jason and Sam walk the carpet. They talk about Scout. Amy II thanks Nathan for saving her, and tells him sorry Maxie couldn’t make it. She talks about working a lot, and he asks if she has another job, but she gets whisked away before she can answer. Nina asks Nathan how she’s supposed to trust Valentin again.

Charlotte asks Jake if she can be in the magic show, and he says okay. Anna explains what a chimera is to Griff. She says it was also the name of a WSB project, and tells him about Alex. Griff asks why Anna is involved, and she says the Chimera is out there somewhere, waiting to be unleashed.

Michael joins Bobbie and Carly. He asks Bobbie about Nelle, and Josslyn is surprised that she’s in the hospital.

Andre arrives at Sonny’s house. Sonny points out the difference in the dosages that Morgan should have been taking and what’s on the bottle. Andre says he noticed, but wanted to be absolutely sure before opening old wounds. Sonny says he doesn’t want Carly to know anything until it’s concrete. Andre tells him that the pharmacy dispensed 600 mg to Morgan, and has no idea why the pills were 300 mg. Sonny asks if it would have made that radical of a difference, and Andre says the only way Morgan could have veered that far off course is if he wasn’t taking lithium at all.

Griff tells Anna to call Robert, but she doesn’t think he’d make any progress. He suggests she at least wait. Jason asks Elizabeth about Jake, and she says he’s back to his old self. Sam asks if Jason feels any better, but he says no.

Jake tells the girls that the magic set was a birthday gift from Spencer. Emma tells Jake that Spencer was saving the gift for when he saw him, and it’s not a magic set. Ruh-roh!

Jordan and Curtis are approached by a reporter whose name is Pinacchio, and I wonder if that’s supposed to be a joke. Curtis tells him that the ball is going to be full of surprises.

Ava tells Lucy she’s taking her advice and leaving Morgan out of the donation. Lucy says Scotty must have had something to do with it, and he says she can thank him later. Lucy says Ava is selfish, and she’s surprised he’s thrown in with her. He says she’s the one who blackmailed Ava. Lucy says that was for a good cause, and hopes Sonny skewers her, but she’s glad it’s not going to be tonight.

Bobbie tells Josslyn what happened to Nelle, and that Nelle’s kidney was bruised, but she should be fine. They go inside.

Sonny dumps the pills out of the bottle, and asks Andre if he’s sure. Andre says it’s the only explanation that makes any sense. Sonny says he trusts the journal 100% and Andre agrees. Sonny says Morgan wrote that he was taking the medication. He looks into the empty bottle and says, what’s that?

Carly and crew enter the carpet area. Nina asks about Sonny. Carly says he couldn’t make it, but wants everyone to know that the fight against HIV/AIDS is dear to his heart. Carly asks Bobbie about Nelle, but she says tonight is about fun.

Sonny says there’s powder, like a pill broke or crumbled. He tastes it, and says there’s something else in the vial. Andre takes it to have it tested.

Mario interviews total strangers. Sonny sits down to watch. Scotty and Ava are up next. Mario says that Sonny and Carly must be moved by the donation she made in memory of Morgan. Anna drops the necklace going in.

Lucy starts the show. She says it’s not about the glitz and glamour, or her ending up in her underwear, which is not going to happen this year. She gives a shout out to this year’s sponsor, Burt’s Bees, and tells us that the first Nurses Ball was 23 years ago. Lucy says that the key word is nurses, who are the heart and soul of the hospital. She suggests we see what they’re up to tonight, and the curtain opens. We see a screen with the opening number filmed in the hospital. I’m confused, especially when they end up on the stage, since the ball is supposed to be at the MetroCourt. Okay. Suspension of disbelief happening.

Jake tells the girls not to tell anyone and ruin the surprise. Sam tells Jason to stop focusing on his dream. He asks how she’s doing, and she’s good. She tells him to get himself a scotch. Lucy reminds everyone that they’re at the ball to make donations. Jake says the big finale is the most important part. He says it’s all about this, and shows them the Chimera martini shaker.

Anna wants to talk to Valentin. He tells her to talk to her sister. Anna says Alex can’t help, but he can. She asks him to put aside his justifiable anger, and do the right thing. Jason sees the necklace on the floor.

Michael tells Carly that she and Sonny aren’t as far apart as they think they are. He wants her to admit she misses him. Ava is annoyed about the reporter saying something about Morgan. She says it’s going to be all over everywhere. Scotty doesn’t think Sonny will be able to follow the breadcrumbs. Maybe. Maybe not. But he’s here.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Nelle asks for Michael, Anna wants to know where the Chimera is, Jake tells Emma not to touch it, and Andre checks on the pill bottle test.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we last left, Travis had flattened Kelly’s tire and hid in her car trunk. When she went looking for the spare, he popped out of the trunk and wrestled her to the ground.

Travis asks Kelly why she went to the cops. Like she can talk with his hand over her mouth. He says she doesn’t know him, and starts to choke her. Kelly whacks him with something and runs, but he tackles her. He tries to choke her again on someone’s front lawn. Where is everybody? She keeps trying to yell for someone to call 911. If nothing else, Travis is a bold one. Kelly tells him she’s sorry. She says she can’t breathe, and he says good, which isn’t a positive sign. She loses consciousness, and Travis asks if she’s dead. He feels for a pulse and says she is, but I have my doubts. Mostly because Travis is such an idiot, he probably doesn’t even know what a pulse is.

Travis laughs to himself. A woman with a gun appears, and says she’s calling the police. Travis claims Kelly has passed out, and tells her to call an ambulance. The woman says she saw him attacking her, but he insists he was helping. He pretends to do CPR, and Kelly comes to. He tells her, you’ve lived to see another day, bitch.

The amazing Lushion tells the kids to keep the noise down and let Natalie sleep; she’s exhausted after finding out about Joey. Pete calls to ask if there’s any word on Andrew. Lushion says if there is, he’ll let Pete know. He asks if Pete talked to the FBI. Pete says he gave a full statement, and they’re picking Eddie up after they move Pete. Lushion asks if Pete is worried. I would be. Pete says he just doesn’t know where his life is going. Lushion calls him a good kid, and says he has a great future ahead. Yeah, if Eddie doesn’t get to him first. Lushion says Pete is going to see him sooner than he thinks, and he’ll call later.

Esperanza wonders what’s taking Kelly so long. The kids go in the backyard to play on the swings. Lushion comes by. Esperanza wants to see the new house, and asks about Natalie. He says she’s asleep; it’s been a long day. Esperanza says not as long as it is for Kelly. She tells Lushion that his boy DION – finally, a name! – keeps saying it’s Kelly causing problems, when Travis is the one harassing her.

Lushion tells Esperanza that Andrew is missing, and he thinks Alex knows something about it. Esperanza asks if he thinks Alex’s parents had something to do with it, but he doesn’t know. He tells her to talk to Alex, but not let on that he’s the one who asked. He asks if Esperanza can also get the girls together to come over to cheer Natalie up. He tells her that Joey is in jail for violating probation; he’s in the prison hospital. Geez. If you think your life is bad, just watch an episode of this show.

Somehow, Kelly gets back home. Why isn’t she at the police station? What about the witness? Esperanza asks what happened to her. Kelly starts to cry, and tells her about Travis being in the trunk of her car. She asks where Justice is, and says she doesn’t want him to see her like this. Esperanza takes her inside. She takes pictures, and asks if Kelly called the police, but Kelly says they won’t believe her. Esperanza calls Lushion and asks him to come over. She gets Kelly some water, and I wonder what she charges for a full glass.

Lushion comes in, and Kelly explains what happened with Travis. He says Travis has gone way too far. Esperanza says none of the officers are doing anything. Lushion says he’s getting involved, but Kelly is afraid it will make Travis crazier. Lushion says he’s right next door, but Kelly is worried about what happens when he’s not there. Lushion says when he’s done with Travis, he won’t be bothering her again. He knows how to deal with these guys.

Lushion goes to the station. He asks Dion what he’s doing about Travis, and says he was in Kelly’s trunk. Dion shows him the texts, and Lushion says something isn’t right. Dion thinks that Kelly and Travis are both crazy and wasting his time. Lushion says that Kelly had marks from Travis choking her, and to just bring him in for questioning. Dion says that Travis is from a prominent family, and he doesn’t trust Kelly. Okay, he’s back on my jerkface list. Lushion calls for Steven, but Steven says there’s nothing he can do. Lushion is worried that Travis is going to kill Kelly, but Steven says sorry. He asks Lushion if he told Pete to talk to the FBI. Lushion says that he did, and Steven says he told him to wait. They haven’t gotten Escada yet. He says he’s getting enough heat from upstairs, and just slow down a little. Lushion says he wants Travis brought in. Steven says he can’t, and Lushion says then he will. He’ll make it federal. Steven says Eddie is already on to him, but our beloved Lushion is willing to take the chance. Steven says he’ll bring Travis in.

A-hole Eddie tells Lushion that word on the street is, he’s a baby daddy. He tells Eddie to get out of his face and get the real info. Eddie calls him a bitch, and says he can’t wait until Lushion’s world crumbles around him. Lushion says he has a bitch for Eddie all right.

Lushion goes back to Kelly’s house. He says Travis is nowhere to be found, but there’s a warrant out for his arrest. He tells her forget Dion and Rick, he went over their heads. He says if she needs anything, to call him. He reminds them about the get-together for Natalie.

Esperanza tells Kelly about cheering Natalie up, and asks if she can come. Kelly says it’s not like she has anything else going on. She says it’s hard going into that house and not thinking about Ramses, but Esperanza says maybe they’ve changed things around. Kelly says he was so sweet. She thinks Travis did something to him. He has everybody fooled, but Esperanza says not her and Lushion. She suggests Kelly spend the night at her place, but Kelly doesn’t want to be forced out of her own house. She says his ass better not come back. She says Lushion is also right next door. Esperanza doesn’t like it, but she has to go. Kelly locks the door behind her.

Alex sees a car outside. She goes out to find Brad sitting in the driveway. He says he didn’t know she was home, since there’s no car. She says she had a wreck, and asks if he wants to come in. When he doesn’t, she asks to join him, and gets in the passenger seat. He asks about the baby, and she says that he’s been put into foster care because of her parents. Brad says, sorry to hear that, and she tells him that Randal had a court hearing for custody. The judge almost granted it to him, so she threw a Hail Mary and said he wasn’t the father, but he is. She says all she did was postpone the inevitable. Alex asks why Brad is there, but he doesn’t know. He asks if that’s why Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s, and tells her about Randal’s visit to his office. She calls Randal a bastard. She tells him that Lushion came over to borrow a candle, and Randal saw him. She talks about how nice it is to have them in the neighborhood, but that she has to straighten things out, and already spoke with Natalie. Brad says Eddie knows, and Alex says great, another excuse for him to hate her. Brad says he still loves her (Brad does, not Eddie), but he’s scared. He doesn’t think he could go through that again, and Alex says it will never happen again. Brad doesn’t think he could live with the baby, and Alex says she thought about that too. She says what if the roles were reversed, and wonders how she would feel.

Alex says that she wants to tell Brad congratulations, and he says for what. She says it’s okay; she knows, but he doesn’t understand what she’s talking about. She says she knows Marcie is pregnant. Brad says she’s not, but Alex says she is; they have the same doctor. She’s surprised that Marcie hasn’t told him. Brad says he has to go – not because of that, because of him. Creepy Randal’s face is at the car window. He says that they have a hearing tomorrow, and Alex should get her beauty rest. He asks if she still wants to meet in the shed, but maybe this isn’t a good time to ask. He says he’ll be in there warming it up, like the d-bag he is.

Brad says he takes it back. Alex tries to explain, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He says he thought he couldn’t do it because of the baby, but it’s really because of Randal. She suggests they move, but Brad says they can’t afford it. He wants to do some bad things to Randal. Join the club. Alex says something bad almost happened to him, but Brad says almost doesn’t count. Alex gets out of the car, and Brad drives off. Randal watches from the porch. Eddie and Randal are the worst.

Randal asks if they’re getting back together, but Alex says nothing. He tells her that he’ll be in the shed. She goes in, and he says maybe not.

Kelly wakes up to a dog barking. She checks on Justice, seeing the top of his head. She pulls down the covers, and he’s fine. She makes sure the windows are locked. I’m as anxious as she is, wondering when and where Travis will pop out. She checks the rest of the house, and I wonder why she’s not carrying a weapon. She makes sure the front windows are locked. I can’t take this stress. She makes sure the doors are locked, and puts the chain on. I can’t stand it. She goes back to bed, but I’m not comfortable.

She turns out the light. Travis’s hand comes over her mouth and I almost scream.

Next time, the 90-minute mid-season finale, Lushion tells Natalie to lock the door, the custody hearing happens, Julius tells Ben that he’s looking for a new crew, Steven says it’s going down, and Lushion says, “Bye, Eddie.”

Below Deck Mediterranean

The wind has picked up, the yacht is about to hit the rocks, and Max is trying to push the boat with the tender. That isn’t a euphemism for anything. He’s supposed to push the yacht with a smaller boat. Captain Sandy asks what he’s waiting for, and she has to explain how it works. Hannah brings chips and dips for the guests, even though she’s concerned. The captain wants to reset the anchors, and Wes explains to the guests that it’s nothing, even though it’s something.

Lauren is annoyed that Bobby is going around talking smack about her. She’d thought they were friends. Bobby whines about being alone and losing his only friend, Hannah. Well, he should have thought about that before. Bugs is feeling down about her grandmother’s passing, and feels like she should be with her family, but tries to keep her chin up. The guests go naked paddle-boarding. Hannah tries to get Chef Adam to put on an apron with a muscle-guy’s body on it, but that’s a no. Captain Sandy is invited to dine with the guests.

More naked news is filmed. A request has been made for a cake shaped like a nude woman for dessert after dinner. Adam finds that baking it is more fun than he thought it would be. The captain is concerned about everyone being nakey at the table.

Bobby whines some more about his life sucking. He wants to be friends with Hannah again. He pulls her aside, and says he jumped to conclusions. Hannah says that she never said anything bad about him, and he says that’s not what Lauren told him. They hug it out, and Hannah says her feelings were hurt. In her interview, Hannah says that Bobby has burned her one too many times, so she’s proceeding with caution.

Four fabulous courses are in the making, and with the captain at the table, the pressure is on. Hannah says it’s important to her, because even though they got off to a rocky start, she and the captain are in a good place now. Anchor watch is set up. Bobby shows Wes a stupid video on his phone, while Lauren slaves over the laundry. In her interview, Hannah says you have to be thick-skinned in the yachting biz.

Lauren isn’t talking to anyone, so Bugs tries to engage her. Lauren says she just wants to do her job, and not be trashed by anyone. She starts getting all weepy, and Bugs can’t believe it, since she just lost her grandma.

The table is gorgeous, with lots of crystal and gold and sparkles. Mr. Skin talks about how he got into the business by watching lots of movies. Adam (who I keep wanting to call “Ben”) flirts with Malia. In his interview, he talks about a long-term relationship he had. His girlfriend never told her parents about him because of cultural differences, and she broke his heart. Lauren overhears Bobby talking about her. Malia is helping at the same time she’s on anchor watch. That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

Adam tells Hannah that she should slow down and give the guests time to enjoy the meal. Captain Sandy tells a tale of the sea at the table, while the entrees are put together. Bugs says it’s all about communication, and Adam says it’s the first time he’s sweating in the galley. He and Bugs put cake nipples together. The crew don shirts with bikini bodies on them. The captain excuses herself, and claims she’s going to look them up online.

The cake is served. The crew gets a standing ovation, and Bobby sees dollar signs. Mr. Skin says he can’t wait for the pie section, and even I have to laugh. Adam thanks everyone for their help. Apparently, naked cakes are difficult business, and take a village. He watches on closed circuit as one of the guests spins around on the lazy Susan without underwear. Is this one of those bleachable moments?

Lauren calls her father. She tells him she’s feeling alone. In her interview, she says that her parents are going through a messy divorce, and one of the reasons she took the job was to get away from it. She realizes she has to just focus on her work. Hannah and Bugs have coffee on deck, and Hannah gives Bugs kudos for a job well done. Bugs says it’s hard to believe she won’t be doing things anymore with her grandmother. Hannah talks about losing her brother at a young age, when he was just ten. She says Bugs’s family would be proud of her.

Malia is glad for an easy day, since she had to work until 3 am. The deckhands pull up the anchor, but something is wrong. There’s a huge, messy ball of chains that keeps the anchor from going up totally. Malia is like, of course, since it’s her first time pulling up anchor. Max says he’s never seen it this bad, and doesn’t have an actual solution. He explains this is what happens when you have two anchors and the boat starts moving around. Captain Sandy says they’re in trouble, since they have to get the guests to port in time. She says it’s the same as a necklace being tangled; you work the chain until it loosens. Ugh. Good luck.

The guests are starting to look, which puts more pressure on the deckhands. Bobby tries to tell the captain what to do, and she says she needs assistance, not resistance. Bugs says the crew has to keep the drama to themselves, and keep the guests distracted. Bobby continues to tell Captain Sandy how to do her job. She reminds him that she’s been doing this for nearly thirty years. In his interview, Max says when it comes to emergency situations, you just follow orders.

Captain Sandy leans almost entirely over the side of the boat. Max explains that the last thing you want to do is cut the anchor, since those are your brakes. The guests do some more naked news, and the captain calls for a water taxi. Wes gets into the water. He wants to see what he can from a safe distance.

Somehow, they make things worse, and the wind is picking up. Hannah explains to the guests that they’re having a problem with the anchor, but they’re getting a tender to bring them back so they can enjoy the afternoon. Captain Sandy gives the deckhands instructions over the walkie-talkie. Ooh, Adam is in full distraction mode and just made the most amazing appetizers. One of the guests says it’s plant-based paradise. Hannah calls for help putting the luggage on the taxi, and the captain tells the crew to get in their dress uniforms. Bobby is concerned the delay will affect their tip.

The guests had a fabulous – or “skintastic” – time. Mr. Skin tells the crew how much they enjoyed themselves. He has some individual compliments, and calls the captain “badass,” giving her the tip. He adds that getting stuck didn’t affect anything; they’re all happy. The guests board the tender. The captain tells the crew to grab something to eat and get back to it; they’ll deal with the tip later. Bobby says it’s like being on Gilligan’s Island, except they’re the island. He explains to Bugs how the anchor got tangled.

Bugs calls home, and says she wants to be there. If they want her to come, she will. Sounds like she’s staying. Lauren apologizes to Bugs, and says she was being selfish. They hug it out, but Bugs isn’t sure what she’s apologizing for. I guess her mind is (understandably) somewhere else, since she was previously annoyed with Lauren being self-centered.

A rope gets tangled in the anchor lines, and one of the deckhands tries to cut it. In the meantime, the girls decide to go for a swim. Adam is content to watch. It’s illegal to pull into port without an anchor, and no way is the captain losing them. We hear a big noise. To be continued…

Next time, who knows? They didn’t say. We never got to my favorite part either – tip time.

🍸 Tomorrow, Bethenny is a guest on Watch What Happens Live. I always look forward to her spilling the tea. The LA week has been fun so far, but I’m really not feeling the large, vocal audience.

May22

May 21, 2017 – A Little Amish Talk & Some Random Bravo Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Since Once Upon a Time is over for now, we await new Walking Dead episodes, and where the blip is Game of Thrones, I thought I’d take a break from Bravo and it’s Housewives, and catch up on Return to Amish. Most weeks, I fall asleep watching it during the wee hours’ rerun encore performance.

🐎 Half new episode and half individual cast member’s story, one of tonight’s highlights was a trip to Lancaster made by Mary and a pregnant Sabrina. While they were enjoying a meal at a diner, Mary was approached by a local, asking Mary not to have Tupperware parties in her “territory.” We flash back to when she’d hassled Mary before, and Mary shut it down this time by telling her to get a life. Apparently, Tupperware is serious business in the Amish country. When back at home, a sly hater surreptitiously threatened to rat Mary out for having a car, Mary silenced her by giving her Tupperware. Mary is the best. So is Tupperware. The look on Jeremiah’s face when he found out that Sabrina was – SPOLIER AND GROSS OUT ALERT – eating her placenta, was worth the price of admission. I literally lol’d at his reaction. Baby Ariana is the cutest, arriving a month early, and so very tiny! Sabrina would like her to grow up Mennonite, and let parents have custody, but the state is already swooping in to take charge. This segued into Sabrina’s story. Being adopted, she grew up thinking that her mother didn’t want her, when the total opposite was true. It wasn’t evident who told her these things, but I’m assuming it wasn’t her adoptive parents, or she wouldn’t want them to raise Ariana. She eventually looked for her birth parents, and although her mother had passed away, she’d died surrounded by pictures of Sabrina. Her story was truly heart-wrenching, and it’s no surprise she would turn to drugs to soothe herself.  In one of his interviews, Abe talked about how the cast members were each other’s family, as they had decided to strike out on their own at the same time. It’s sad that he and Rebecca no longer want to talk to Sabrina, their Amish, grudge-holding roots taking hold. The whole thing is sad. On a happier front, while catching up on the gang’s trip to Florida, it was a lot of fun watching Mary kick back, do some shots, line dance, and take a twirl around the pole. I did miss Kate though. I’m thinking they should do a spin-off show about her life in NYC. She’s probably afraid the others would descend on her, and all want to stay at her place, like they did last season.

If Sabrina was appropriate, she wouldn’t be Sabrina. – Rebecca

My mother always told me if you kiss a boy, you’ll get pregnant. So that was effective birth control for a while. – Sabrina

Sarasota is like Las Vegas for the Amish people. – Jerimiah

🏛 Not much happened on the Potomac anyway. Karen had some emotions, and I noticed that Charisse talks through her nose. And once I noticed, I couldn’t stop noticing. Someone wagged their finger in Ashley’s face at her place of work. I think it was Gizelle, but I was spacing out already. I don’t know what to make of that Cabo show. It looks like The Real World for adults, “adults” meaning chronologically only. I’m not fond of the regular Real World program. I’m surprised it’s still on. Is it still on? Every once in a while, I’d forget why I stopped watching it, tune in, and then tune back out again, but I haven’t done that in a while. I’m guessing that Invite Only Cabo will most likely infuriate me, or make me laugh if one of them gets arrested in a foreign country.

🏖 Note: Watch What Happens Live is filming from LA this week. I’m not feeling the large, and appropriately noisy, live audience though. I think in NYC there are like, twelve people. There was a fun, surprise appearance by NeNe, but it looked like she usurped Iggy Izalea‘s place at the Shot Ski.

🎿 Not your momma’s or tonight’s Shot Ski…

ShotSki

May16

May 15, 2017 – Valentin is a Step Ahead, a Southern Quail Hunt & Some Tidbits

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

The DA tells Julian that he has an offer. If Julian plays his cards right, he can be a free man and be out within the hour.

Scotty sees Alexis at the courthouse, and asks if she’s there for Julian’s arraignment.

Jason gets home. He tells Sam that he was worried about Scout because of her texts, but Sam says it’s all good. She asks what happened on Cassadine Island, and he says Franco followed him.

Franco finds Elizabeth at the park with the kids. She asks where he’s been and what happened to his face. He says it’s the thanks he got for helping Jason. She asks if he went to the island, and he says he was pivotal in the trip’s success. He asks where Jake is. He’s busy playing with the Chimera Project. Don’t touch that, kid! You’ll blow us all up…or something.

“Anna” and Valentin go to her house. She breaks out the liquor. She says she’s glad he changed his mind about seeing her. He opens a bottle of wine. She says he’s a study in contradiction, and he says after all these years, she’s still a mystery, and it’s like he doesn’t know her. I’ll bet he does, and I’ll bet I do too. You know who she really is, right? Think, people!

In London, the real Anna wakes up. The nurse asks if she knows where she is.

Alexis tells Scotty she’s there to meet with the bar association. He says good luck with that; they probably aren’t happy with her going off with Julian of her own volition. She says all she did was tell the truth. Scotty says that Julian is still on the hook for Olivia-J’s crimes, and no one is going to get him off.

The DA tells Julian that he’s looking at quite a few life terms unless he chooses not to prosecute. He has a proposal.

Jason tells Sam tjay Franco is fine, but he had to hire a local to unshackle him – it’s a long story. He says Franco was helpful though. It turned out the scarecrow is Jason.

Franco explains to Elizabeth how he beat on Jason, so Jason could get his memory back. He says Jake witnessed Jason being shackled to a wall and beaten, and must have heard about Jason killing people. He asks how Jake is. Elizabeth says he seems fine, and was excited to get a birthday gift from Spencer. Elizabeth calls to Jake, and he closes the magician’s box quickly. She asks why he doesn’t want to play with his brother, and he says he doesn’t like soccer. Franco wants to take a look at the box, but Jake won’t let him.

“Anna” tells Valentin that there’s no mystery anymore. She knows what she did to him, and regrets it. She wants to reverse the events she set in motion. He says she might have wanted to discuss the Chimera Project, but he wanted to see her for other reasons. Nina left him because of her.

The nurse tells Anna that she’s Sister Caroline, and they’ve been caring for her at the clinic. Anna remembers herself saying that her name isn’t Alex; she’s Anna Devane.

Scotty wonders if Alexis thinks that she can get Julian a better defense than him. She says she doesn’t have time for this. He tells her that the state’s case is very strong. Olivia-J is locked away and can’t testify, so they’ll use the evidence against Julian.

The DA tells Julian that he can secure conviction, but Julian is just an accessory, and Olivia-J isn’t fit to stand trial. He says a conviction against Julian is nothing, but a conviction against Sonny is a feather in his cap. He didn’t actually use that term, but I like it. He says they’ll keep him under surveillance while he goads Sonny. When Sonny comes after him, they arrest Sonny. Everybody wins.

Jake tells Franco that the box is for magician’s eyes only. Franco says he’s right; a magician never reveals is tricks. Elizabeth suggests they get some food, and then Jake can practice his magic. Jake leaves the box behind.

Jason tells Sam about his memory of being beaten. Helena said something about how now he kills for her. Then she was talking to someone outside of his sightline. He thinks it was Jake, and that Jake overheard Helena’s plan for him. Sam thinks he must have been scared. Well, yeah. Jason says he looked so different then, and it must be hard for him to differentiate. Sam says it’s a lot to process, and she can’t imagine Jake doing it. Jason makes a call to Elizabeth. He says he needs to see Jake. She says she heard about his trip, and tells him where they are. She tells Jake that his dad is coming by to see him. Now they can celebrate his birthday and open his presents. Jake asks about Jason being different, and Elizabeth says Jason is still his dad. Jake says that he never wants to talk about it – ever.

Valentin tells “Anna” that he loves Nina, and took his vows seriously. If he thought about Anna at all, it was as an adversary, but now he can’t blame Nina for leaving him.

Real Anna can’t talk, and seems terrified. Caroline says she knows it’s frightening, but she’s in good hands. She explains that a Dr. Lancaster found her in her flat and brought her there.

The DA says Julian’s freedom in exchange for evidence against Sonny. Julian says no deal. The DA says it’s a onetime offer, not to be repeated. Julian says it’s not for him. The DA says suit yourself. Sonny is notoriously hard to convict, and there’s no guarantee of success anyway. Julian’s conviction is a sure thing. Scotty comes in, and on his way out, the DA says the arraignment has been postponed. Scotty asks Julian what happened. Julian says the DA thought he had an offer that Julian couldn’t refuse, but he did.

Caroline asks Anna if she can say something, but Anna passes out before she can form actual words. Caroline runs to get the doctor.

Valentin tells “Anna” that he still feels something for her, just as strong today as years ago. Anna says she does too, but she tried to fight it out of respect for his marriage. She wants things clean between them, and no wreckage left behind, like the Chimera Project. Whoever this is (if I’m not right, I’ll be surprised) must think Valentin is an idiot.

Jason comes to the park. He says he has to talk to Jake about what he remembers. Elizabeth says he was concerned about Jason, and Franco adds that he doesn’t want the conversation. Jason says he needs to talk to him alone. He asks Jake if they can go for a walk. Franco says he hopes that Jason knows what he’s doing. Sam says at least he didn’t lie about his intentions like Franco did. I like Sam, but she frequently annoys me when I think she should be smarter than she’s acting.

Jason tells Jake that they need to have a father/son serious talk. He says before the birthday blast, he needs Jake to understand that he shouldn’t worry about him – or the scarecrow.

Scotty tells Julian that the DA should be dealing with his attorney for a plea deal. Julian says the DA wanted him to provoke Sonny to get evidence against him. He says the DA never mentioned immunity, and there’s no statute of limitations for murder, so the DA could have nailed him again in the future. Scotty says his sister was sloppy, and when they find Julian guilty, to remember that he screwed up Scotty’s winning streak.

Scotty sees Alexis in the hallway, and asks if her meeting was postponed too. She says it was brief, and Scotty says he has an idiot for client, and Julian is going to prison. Alexis says maybe she can talk sense into him. She goes in to see Julian.

Caroline tells the doctor that Anna was responsive, and then passed out. She says that Anna was trying to speak.

Valentin tells “Anna” that it’s been decades since he sold the Chimera Project. She says it’s her fault it’s out there, and it should be locked in a WSB lab. Valentin says they can’t be trusted, since they created it. He tells Anna again that the buyer is dead, and all the years it was in their possession, it was never deployed. He says there’s nothing to worry about, and asks if it’s the only reason she wanted to see him. She tells him that she tried to respect his marriage, but now that Nina is gone, they can talk about what they can be together.

Franco tells Sam that in a perfect world, they wouldn’t have to see each other. Sam is pissed off because he got involved, but he says he recreated the activity to spark Jason’s sense memory, and it worked. Elizabeth says what matters is Jake.

Jake doesn’t want to talk about when Jason looked different. Jason says he’s Jake’s dad, and it’s his job to help him get through difficulties; sometimes it’s best to face it straight on and talk about it. He says there’s nothing Jake can’t discuss with him because he loves him so much. If there’s a problem, there’s a fix. Jake says it’s not about what he did, but what he didn’t do. Jason asks if that’s what he’s been drawing. Jake says, if you see something bad, you tell someone, but there was no one to tell – just “her” and the guard. They were beating Jason up, and Jake couldn’t stop them. Jason says nothing that happened was his fault; he was stuck in a very bad situation. Jake says he knew he liked Jason right away, and calls him the guy with the motorcycle. Jason says the fact that he wanted to help him means everything, and he’s very brave. Jake tells Jason that he didn’t feel brave. Jason says it was one of the worst things anyone could go through, and he survived. He wants Jake to know he loves him, and that woman is gone and can never hurt any of them again. He’ll always be there to protect Jake. Jake looks at the box, and says there’s something else; something he doesn’t know.

Alexis says Julian should think it over, but he says that he doesn’t want to perpetuate the cycle of violence that he started. She asks if that’s the only reason, and he says no.

Jason repeats that Jake can tell him everything, and there’s always a fix for a problem. Jake says he loves Jason and doesn’t care what he looks like; he’s the best dad ever. Jake tells him about the magic set, and says he’s working on his first trick and needs to practice. Jason says Jake can stay and practice, and he’ll keep Aiden busy. They hug. Jason goes back to the picnic.

Jason tells them that Jake is practicing his magic trick. He says Jake told him what he saw on the island, and was mostly upset that he couldn’t do anything about it. He explained to Jake that Helena is gone, and that he was brave for his situation survival. Elizabeth thinks Jake still needs to see Andre, but he’s turned a corner. Jason doesn’t remember any more yet, but tells them about the tree with chimera carved in it, and thinks that’s where Jake got the image.

Jake fingers the Chimera Project. Aiden approaches, and Jake tells him to stay away. He says Aiden can’t tell anyone.

Anna moans. The doctor asks for sedative. The nurse thinks it’s too soon, but he says she’s his patient.

Valentin tells “Anna” to be careful. She talks about how beautiful he is inside. She says he’s strong and handsome and her equal in every way. She doesn’t think they should have any secrets. They kiss.

Julian tells Alexis that the only way he can start over is immunity, and it wasn’t part of the offer. He says he’ll have to pay for what Olivia-J forced him to do. Alexis tells him not to worry yet. He asks about his chances. He gets silence, and says that’s what he thought. Alexis says despite everything that’s happened, she doesn’t want him to go to prison, but has no idea how to stop it

Elizabeth says now they can deal with what Jake saw and experienced. Franco says he owes Jason an apology. Sam asks if he’s talking about the shackles and whacking him around, but Franco says that helped. He’s sorry that he assumed Jake was afraid of Jason instead of afraid for him. Jason says he thought the same thing. He says that he never would have known what was going on without Franco, and thanks him. Elizabeth says they all agree to be careful moving forward, but thinks worst is over.

Jake says, if you see something bad, tell someone, but he can’t tell anyone about this.

Anna mumbles unintelligibly. She sees the doctor and grabs his arm.

“Anna” asks Valentin to make love to her. He asks if it’s really what she wants. His hand hovers around her throat as he caresses her face. He suddenly yanks the chimera necklace off of her, and says for once, he’s a step ahead.

Tomorrow, real Anna says it’s a mistake, Griff wants to join Charlotte for dinner, and Michael finds Nelle unconscious.

Also, the Nurses Ball begins on Monday, with Mario Lopez working the red carpet.

Southern Charm

Omg, Craig’s cat is too cute! Kathryn visits JD (bleh) and Elizabeth. Why? Elizabeth says they’ve missed her. Kathryn wonders why she wasn’t invited to some event, and JD says until they know she’s settled, it’s iffy because they don’t want to go back to the same old with her and Thomas creating drama. Kathryn says she got a text message from Thomas asking if she wants a conversation. She’s concerned he has another motive, since it’s the first time he’s communicated with her in nine months. JD says that he told Thomas there needs to be a resolution. In his interview, JD says it’s complicated, since their dynamic keeps changing. JD tells Kathryn they have to learn to be in the same room. Kathryn says she doesn’t know how to navigate the relationship. Elizabeth says to remove the emotions, and Kathryn says like a business deal. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s worked hard, and maybe it is time for them to communicate. JD thinks she shouldn’t leave things up to the courts.

Shep jogs to Whitney’s place. Whitney wonders if there’s frost in hell. In his interview, Shep says he hasn’t had a drink in five days and thinks he’s proved to himself that he can live without alcohol. No comment. Whitney tells him he should replace alcohol with smoking. Ha-ha!  Although I’m not crazy about Whitney, I do like his sense of humor. Shep thinks they should go on a quail hunt at a private club near Savannah. We see pictures of Shep hunting as he was growing up. He wonders if Craig and Naomie have resolved things. Whitney thinks Naomie is getting tired of Craig’s shtick.

Craig tells the cat that Naomie is going to be late. He wonders if they’re going to be okay, and says it’s scaring him. Naomie arrives home, and Craig concentrates on some paperwork. She asks if he wants to discuss last weekend, and he says he has work to do. She wants him to apologize, but he doesn’t think he was in the wrong. She was out of control, and complained about him being late when she left without him. She tells him to stop making excuses. He says she chose to air their dirty laundry, and she says she was embarrassed about the way he talked to her. She says she doesn’t disrespect him, but he begs to differ, saying she contributes to the problem. Naomie decides that she only wants to discuss the topic further if it’s with a counselor who will tell him he’s wrong. Um… that’s not how any of that works. In his interview, Craig is willing to do whatever it takes. Naomie says on a brighter note, she’s trying to get out of whatever she does on Friday, so she can go on the hunting trip with them. “Brighter” being a matter of perspective. Craig says he doesn’t want anyone getting in their business, and wants them to be on the same team.

Whitney goes shopping for hunting clothes, or what he calls an ensemble. Shep and Austen tag along. Shep explains how it works to Austen, who’s never gone hunting before, and isn’t even sure what quail is. Really? I’ve never gone hunting once, and I know what a quail is. Craig calls Shep from DSG, and asks if he should get snake proof boots. Shep tells him to treat himself, but that a snake is going to get him no matter what. They talk about who’s coming. He thinks Austen is getting cold feet about Chelsea, but in his interview, Austen says he just doesn’t want to discuss her with Shep. Shep has ideas about fixing Austen up with Landon, because he must hate Austen. Whitney picks out some fancy duds, and Shep tells him that it’s not a catwalk, it’s about catching supper. I can’t help thinking the irony is that many cats do catch their supper.

Landon visits Patricia. They sit by the pool, and ask Michael for bourbon slushies. No. Just no. And I like bourbon. Patricia says she called Landon because of how they were talking about love the other night. She thinks Landon and Thomas would make a good match. Michael brings a chewy stick for Chauncey the Pug, and serves it to him with tongs off of a silver plate. Landon says Thomas has a world of problems she can’t even fathom. Patricia says grown-ups do, and you need a mate who’s your equal or better, and that it takes money, honey. She always found older men attractive because they’re established. She has a soft spot for Thomas, who she thinks is an exemplary father.

Thomas gets the kids ready to go to Kathryn’s for the weekend. He says it’s emotional for all of them, and just tough.

Landon tells Patricia that she’ll be nervous until things are settled with Kathryn and Thomas. She says it was crazy when she wasn’t involved, so she can imagine if she was really dating him. Patricia says you have to take risks or you’ll end up leading a life of quiet desperation. That’s a good one.

Everyone gets ready for the hunting trip, double-checking their guns and wardrobes. Shep tells Cameran that he doesn’t think things are working out between Chelsea and Austen, because he wants to stir the pot. Funny, doesn’t sound like it in their car. Cameran asks if Shep gets a “tingle in his britches” over Chelsea. When he says yes, she thinks he’s jealous. Yep. They arrive at the hunting park or whatever it is. Whitney invites Thomas to come for dinner after the hunt, since guns won’t be involved. He’s not allowed around them, being a felon and all.

Cameran asks the manager about other activities, and finds out there’s fishing. She says fishing is safer for her. The last time she tried shooting a gun, she ended up with a scar from dinging herself in the forehead with the scope. They divvy up the rooms, and Austen and Chelsea take a two-bedroom cabin. Whitney looks ridiculous. JD (bleh) and Elizabeth arrive. The manager says the chef will prepare their quail for dinner. Please be an appetizer.

They drive to the hunting spot by a lake. The dogs get ready, and the guide explains how it works. I’m hoping none of the dogs get hurt. Doubly so when Craig shoots too low. Shep gets the first quail. Surprisingly, Austen does very well. In his interview, he says he was born for this. Chelsea is impressed.

Cameran goes fishing with Elizabeth. She prefers the leisurely pace. She catches something, but it’s gone when she lifts the line out of the water, and somehow, her line becomes a tangled, unusable mess. Naomie joins them.

JD (bleh) says Whitney is ready for a photo shoot. Yeah, for a British hunting magazine in the 1940s. Shep asks Craig if he patched things up with Naomie, and he says they did. He tells Shep that he’s a private person, and was annoyed about her opening her mouth.

Naomie tells the girls that she wasn’t okay with what Craig said. She doesn’t want it to turn into a Thomas and Kathryn situation. Well, unless she’s having his children, that’s highly unlikely.

The gang gathers for appetizers. Beef tartare is involved, and it looks awesome. Shep tries to call Austen, but gets voicemail. He leaves a message that dinner is fast approaching. Landon is an idiot who wears blinders, and asks if Austen and Chelsea are together. She talks about taking a picture of them, and when she suggested it for an engagement photo, neither one said no. Shep ends his personal prohibition, and has a drink. In her interview, Cameran doesn’t think a week is sufficient to get rid of the liver enzyme, but the heart wants what it wants.

They move to the main dining area for dinner. Chelsea and Austen finally show up. Chelsea calls Austen a badass, and he talks about his hunting success. In his interview, Shep says he thinks Austen is taking notes on what Chelsea likes because he wants to get laid. Cameran asks what they were doing, and Austen says “things.” She asks if they’re sharing a bed and Chelsea says that’s to be determined. In her interview, she thinks Shep has lost out with Chelsea. Ya think?

Thomas arrives. Landon wants to keep her distance, since Patricia is playing matchmaker, and she doesn’t want to give him the wrong idea. Shep tells Cameran that he thinks something is going on between Austen and Landon, because he just can’t stand losing. Landon’s website is discussed. She says she thinks if she keeps trying, she’ll turn into a diamond. No comment. Cameran wonders why Shep would even care if he didn’t have a thing for Chelsea.

Dinner arrives, and it’s another gorgeous presentation. Naomie asks Thomas about the kids, and he talks about making funny faces at them. Everyone wants to see because they’re also children. Thomas says he’d never thought about being a father, because he’s another child. Whitney asks if things are amicable with custody, and Thomas says he wants their mom to be happy and participate. JD and Elizabeth actually stick up for Kathryn, and say she should be given a second chance. Cameran wonders why anyone would believe Kathryn has changed. Thomas says he reached out to her. In her interview, Landon says Kathryn will never be out of the picture, and she’ll always be hesitant to be involved with Thomas. The group moves on to serious drinking. Shep falls on the floor, and Austen and Chelsea call it a night.

The next morning, it’s time to go, and Shep says he’s back on the wagon. Chelsea and Austen are still in bed. Chelsea says he should be a real man, and make breakfast. Shep says he was a real man, and hunted dinner. He wonders if they should let people know their relationship is on another level. She says they both like their independence, and she likes it the way it is. He talks about puppy love, and they declare their like for one another, but Chelsea says she’s weary of relationships. She says neither one of them want anything serious. In his interview, Austen is like, this is backward.

Next time, Landon rides some kind of motor scooter, Craig and Naomie go to counseling, and a stranger declares Thomas and Landon are soulmates. That word makes me cringe, but in this case it might be applicable, since neither of them have souls.

🍹 I’ve been half-watching Southern Charm: Savannah, but the jury is still out. This bunch comes from older money, and is possibly a bit more mature, although it’s really too early to tell. The city is definitely interesting to look at. I wouldn’t mind living there, or Charleston, if it wasn’t for the heat and humidity. Oh, and that I can’t afford it. Two of the cast members are getting married, the twist being that they’re an Episcopalian & Muslim. Needless to say, not all family members are on board. There was a game of strip golf, where the only female player insisted she was doing it for feminism and equality. She also said she wanted to “own” her body, stretch marks and all. We should all look so good. In our lace teddy. Best quote from next week’s preview: Ashley don’t play fair.

🎭 I had just been thinking recently that it would be cool for Andy Cohen to have Laura Linney and Cynthia Nixon on Watch What Happens Live. Mostly because a dear friend took me to see them in The Little Foxes on Broadway, and WWHL is filmed in NYC. The actresses alternate playing the lead roles of Regina and Birdie, and the night we saw it, Linney was playing Regina, and Nixon, Birdie. They’ve also just received Tony nominations for those same roles. Anyway, they were on the show tonight, and it was very engaging. We learned that the reason those particular roles were chosen for the Tonys, was because they were the roles played on opening night. They talked a lot about how interesting and challenging it is to be playing both roles, and called them savory (Regina) and sweet (Birdie). Both actresses were a class act and had great senses of humor.

savannah-georgia

May4

May 3, 2017 – Tracy Bids Farewell to PC, Carole’s Head Explodes & a Few TV Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Tracy tells someone on the phone to get it done by tomorrow. Dillon asks what’s up tomorrow, and Tracy says she’ll tell him tomorrow. He says she’s focused and energized. She’s made her mind up about something and won’t stop until she gets it. Tracy says her life is off course. Dillon tells her that Larry conned all of them, but Tracy says something happened to her. She fell for Larry’s con and went to the crypt to say good-by to Lila. She tells him about her courtroom hallucination, with Scotty being her attorney and Sonny being the judge. She says that if her bad deeds outweighed the good, she was coming back as the baby Skye Chandler is about to adopt. He asks if doing the right thing gave her a nervous breakdown, but she says she’s finally at peace with herself.

Carly tells Kiki she thought that she and Sonny would find closure about Morgan’s death, but instead they’re getting divorced. Kiki says they clearly love each other, but Carly says sometimes that’s not enough. Kiki tells her that a wise person once said she never hated a man so much that she gave him back his diamonds. Zsa Zsa Gabor?

Sonny gets busy with the strange woman. I get busy with my lunch.

Tracy gets a brunch ready. She tells Monica their guests are about to arrive. Monica is like, nice of you to throw a party in my house, which is a little mean, since Tracy lives there and it’s not like a one-bedroom apartment. The doorbell rings, and it’s Kiki. She asks Dillon if Tracy is okay, since she was nice. Ned says it’s a long story. Tracy says it’s hers to tell when the rest of the guests arrive.

Olivia-F discusses the Nurses Ball with Lucy. Lucy says they have a lot to set up, and thanks Olivia for helping. She says the Nurses Ball sneaks up on her every year. Me too. Olivia says she has to go kiss her mother-in-law’s ring, and leaves for the brunch. Nathan tells Dante that Maxie is on her way home. He says in her absence, he may or may not have created a mess in the house. He hired someone to clean while he splurged on a romantic MetroCourt evening. He says the way she sounded, Port Charles is the last place she wants to be.

Carly and Lulu had planned on discussing a pending convention on The Haunted Star, but Lulu says she just got an SOS from Tracy, and asks if they can reschedule their meeting. Carly says for Tracy, no; for Lulu, yes. Lulu asks how Carly wants the divorce to play out.

It’s morning, and Sonny tells the strange woman that it was unexpected. They introduce themselves. Her name is Martina. Sonny asks if she has any regrets. Martina says she’s a big girl, but does he have any regrets?

Hayden asks Finn why they’re at brunch. He thinks it has something to do with the painting. They discuss the artist. Tracy calls for attention, and says she has an announcement she’ll make when everyone gets there. Olivia-F arrives, but says there’s no food and nearly freaks out. Tracy says there will be after she makes her announcement. Olivia tells her the guests are starving, but Tracy says, my party, my rules. Ned says in the meantime, he has his own announcement, as long as he’s not violating the rules.

Tracy tells him to go ahead. He says they’ll never have to hear Larry Ashton’s name again.

Martina thinks Sonny is getting over something, and hopes it helped. He says it was a welcome distraction from what he has to do today. She says she has a meeting in an hour. They start kissing.

Lulu tells Carly that Dante mentioned she’s planning on keeping Sonny’s assets. She asks if Carly really wants to bleed Sonny dry. Carly says he has all kinds of assets offshore. Lulu says their illegal, and he can’t bring anything into the US. Carly says Jax can’t come into the US either, and if Sonny has to spend time laundering money on some island, he deserves it. He’ll live in the lap of luxury, and gets to take Avery, who she loves, with him. She says that it will force him to rethink his priorities. Lulu says that once Carly goes down this road, she might not be able to come back. Carly doesn’t think there’s anything to come back to.

Lulu goes in the back to get something, and Carly hears a noise. She goes to investigate. It’s Sonny in the stateroom, knocking the phone off the table while in the throes of passion. Carly tries the door. Lulu asks what she’s doing; there are guests in the stateroom. Carly apologizes, and they move on. Carly asks if she should take her rings off, and Lulu tells her not to do it until she’s ready. Carly says Sonny was still wearing his, which surprised her. Lulu says maybe there’s hope after all.

Martina is pressed for time. Sonny asks if she’d like to meet again, but she says she’s just there for a week, and her work will probably take up all the time. Sonny says if they bump into each other again, they’ll see how it goes. She says it’s a deal.

Ned tells everyone he was named after Edward, and he was close to his grandparents growing up. He always had to explain why his last name wasn’t Quartermaine, but Quartermaine is how his mother raised him, and how he thinks of himself; it’s intrinsic to his identity. It falls to him and Dillon to carry on the Quartermaine name, and he’s proud to do so. He shows them a petition that he’s filed to change his name to Edward Lawrence Quartermaine, assuming Tracy approves. She says with all her heart, and hugs him.

Nathan says Portland is the land of opportunity for Maxie, whereas Port Charles isn’t exactly a fashion hub. He leaves to pick her up. Lucy comes back, and tells Dante to hustle. She’s afraid Nathan wants his mother to perform. Lucy says she’s been calling non-stop – although she is talented, but Lucy would never tell her that. Nathan comes back in, and says Maxie isn’t coming home.

Lulu arrives, and Tracy says they can get started. She tells Lulu about Ned’s decision, and then tells the room that she’s now going to attempt to set the record straight. She talks about Edward faking his own death. She tells them about the painting, and how Edward was traveling under the alias of J.L. Holt when he bought it. Tracy explains that he left the painting at a monastery in Turkey, and that the monks were going to sell it, until Larry concocted an elaborate hoax, but Ned stopped him.

Nathan says Maxie was offered something more at the magazine, and it doesn’t sound like she’s coming back any time soon. Lucy gets upset, because Maxie was supposed to help with the costumes. Dante says they can work it out, but Nathan says she’d made the decision without him. He can’t blame her, since she likes the work and is closer to Georgie. Dante says people deal with long-distance relationships all the time. Lucy says she and Doc did it when they were married.

Diane and Carly show up at the divorce hearing first. Diane tells her that Sonny needs his business interests, but Carly says the documents are air-tight. She says when Jax is allowed back in the US, she’ll turn the assets back over. In the meantime, Sonny will be just fine. Diane says he’ll be without his children or her. Carly tells Diane he’s not going to miss her, but Diane says he’ll miss her like a drowning man misses oxygen. She says Sonny is his own worst enemy, and Carly is the only one who’s been able to save him from himself. Every time he falls apart, she’s the only one who can put him back together. Diane says it’s easy to dissolve a marriage, but they’ll never dissolve the relationship. She thinks they should just go into their separate corners for a while. Sonny arrives, and Diane says she thinks they had a breakthrough, but Carly sees that he’s no longer wearing his ring.

Laura is shocked that Samira was working for Larry. Monica absolves Finn from doing the paternity test, but tells him don’t do it again. Laura thanks Ned, and also complements Tracy for wanting to make the sacrifice. Tracy tells everyone about how Laura came with her to Turkey, and about the letter. She says Edward told her he loved her, which may sound simple; however, he was anything but. The letter set her free.

Lucy tells Nathan, on second thought, never mind her and Doc; they’re just one couple, and there are lots of couples who have long-distance relationships. Their break-up was her fault. She realizes she’s not making Nathan feel any better, so she leaves to extract her foot from her mouth. Dante tells Nathan they’re nothing like them. He’s sure Maxie feels the same way, but Nathan says she was quick to stay. Dante says it’s a great opportunity, and she probably feels the marriage can handle it.

Sonny asks if there was a reason why he shouldn’t take his ring off. Carly says no. Guess who her lawyer is. And it’s not Nora. That’s right – Martina.

Tracy tells the group that she’s spent her adult life in and out of Port Charles, and in and out of their lives, but she always came back. She wanted a place there, so she fought, maneuvered, and schemed, but the thing she was chasing was the love expressed in the letter. She tells them that she loves all of them, the people in the room and the people in her heart, but it’s time for her to step out of her father’s shadow and make a life for herself. She can’t do it there. She starts to cry, and says she’s leaving.

Tomorrow, Ned doesn’t believe it, Nathan wonders if there’s room in Maxie’s life for him, and Sonny asks Martina what kind of game she’s playing.

The Real Housewives of New York City

I can’t wait to watch Carole’s head explode.

Carole and her mother are going to Pennsylvania to manipulate get out the vote. Carole says she and her mother have more of a bickering sister relationship. Aww, poor Carole just had a visceral reaction to Trump becoming POTUS. He stands for everything she’s against. Carole has developed such a know-it-all, annoying attitude, people like her are exactly why Trump won.

Ramona goes to the plastic surgeon. She’s getting a laser treatment on her face, since she has a big birthday coming up. She’s in disbelief of her age, since when she looks in the mirror, she sees someone fifteen years younger. Apparently, she avoids looking at her neck.

Carole talks about subsidized housing being a dirty word when she was younger, and how her mother protested the protestors. She discusses her and Adam “shacking up” with her mother. She says she doesn’t regret not having kids, and her mother says that’s okay, she has enough grandchildren. Good woman. My mother-in-law never pressured us, and I think she felt the same way. Carole doesn’t feel the need to introduce her parents to Adam, which I think is kind of odd. Carole gets weirder as this show goes on.

Sonja goes out to dinner with Rocco, a restaurateur she’s known for a long time. She’s torn between him and Frenchie. Rocco is more interested in settling down, whereas Frenchie lives in the moment. She says there’s guys you sleep with and guys you marry, and at present, she’s only sleeping with Frenchie, even though it seems unfair. Rocco asks how many people live at her house, since there are always different people there when he comes over. She tells him how Tinsley didn’t even give her a birthday card. In her interview, Sonja says it’s not the mannered Tinsley she knows. Geez, maybe she just forgot.

Dorinda and Luann meet for shopping. Luann has gotten Tom a Rolex for his birthday, but wants to get him something extra, like a nice tie. They talk about Carole’s election party, and Luann says she’s only involved in the politics of love right now. Dorinda tells her how she’s planning the invitations to Ramona’s surprise party, with Ramona thinking she’s been invited to a different party.

Carole is excited, but wants to throw up. She’s hoping her party will turn into a celebration of the first woman president. She says the election has taken its toll on some friendships, and she’ll be glad to move on. Too bad so many people haven’t moved on, and I’d hazard a guess that Carole is one of them.

Heather from another season has been invited, since she’s a friend of Carole’s. Carole insists that Hillary is going to win. Shock starts to come over her. Dorinda’s late husband worked with Hillary, so she kinda sorta knows her. Omg, Carole is friends with a gay Republican. How did that happen? Bethenny and friends arrive. She says Carole will short circuit if Hillary doesn’t win. I’m laughing already.

Dorinda talks about Ramona’s surprise party, and tries to talk Bethenny into going. Bethenny wishes Ramona a happy birthday, but doesn’t want to go. Carole is getting nervous, but not panicking…yet. <snort> Dorinda is going to cry. Bethenny asks if Carole is all right. Dorinda leaves, wanting to go to bed and have it be a bad dream in the morning. Carole can’t believe what’s happening, and I can barely contain my laughter.

Weepy Carole calls her mother in the morning. She’s stunned, and can’t put words to how she feels. She reads the speech she was going to give. Her mother asks what they do now. Move to Canada? Shoot yourself? Act like a normal person and let life go on? Carole is a dumbass dumbfounded.

Ramona shops for a sexy birthday dress. She tries on something red with zipper detailing. I like it, but think the neckline is too high. Carole joins her. Ramona isn’t holding a grudge, but she’s also not talking to Carole about politics anymore. In her interview, Carole says the two of them shopping in an expensive, exclusive store is why people who live outside of the city think they’re out of touch, so the irony isn’t lost on her. I lived in the city for over 20 years, and I still think they’re out of touch.

They talk about Ramona’s argument with Bethenny. Ramona still tries to justify what she said, and in her interview, Carole thinks she’s off-base. Ramona believes Bethenny is the reason she wasn’t invited to the election party, and Carole tells her that’s not it. Ramona talks about Dorinda’s party invite, and Carole says something about it being a surprise because she’s an idiot. Since Ramona is an even bigger idiot, she doesn’t realize that Carole just let the cat out of the bag.

Tinsley is ready for Ramona’s party. She has on a fabulous beige dress with tiny white flowers appliqued on it, but the invite says LBD, so she goes to change. This just goes to show that people don’t really read things.

The party looks fantastic. Dorinda is picking Ramona up, but she’s running late. Since Ramona has a date after the party she thinks she’s going to, and Dorinda is running late, she calls a cab. Dorinda is afraid she’s not going to show up. Sonja arrives with Tinsley in the proper attire.

Dorinda tells everyone to get ready. The guest of honor arrives, and everyone yells surprise. Ramona starts to cry and falls on the floor in a fit of drama. Dorinda can’t believe she pulled it off. Carole thinks it’s a good thing Ramona doesn’t listen to her. Does anyone? The infamous Harry is there. We flash back to him giving Sonja a ring at some party, and then leaving the party with Luann. In her interview, Sonja says Harry is like the itch she can’t scratch; everywhere she goes, there he is. Ramona calls her date, whose first name she’s forgotten (we find out it’s George), and invites him to the party.

George is incredibly underdressed. Ramona tells him it’s her surprise party, and he asks if he should chill or what? Bleh. And he’s no Brad Pitt. Or even Brad Paisley. Either make the best of it, or go home, George. Luann talks to John. In her interview, she tells us about the Irish good-by, where you leave a party and no one notices. She slips out. Dorinda thinks Bethenny should have done a drive-by. The drinks flow and the food looks incredible.

Ramona and Sonja talk outside on the observation deck. Ramona says she likes that Sonja doesn’t sweat the small stuff. She brings up Bethenny, saying she has no time for superficial crap. She says all she did was ask something out of concern. In her interview, Sonja says it’s amazing how Ramona can spin something. Sonja changes the subject, saying it’s a momentous occasion, after struggling to say the word momentous. In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny is holding a grudge.

The cake comes out. According to the candles, Ramona is a tall one-year-old. She thanks everyone for coming, and says she’s totally shocked.

Next time, Carole complains about not having space, a dog drives a car, Luann tries on her wedding dress, and Ramona continues the argument with Bethenny.

👠 Tonight, on Watch What Happens Live, the guests were Ramona Singer and Alex McCord. It was fun to see Alex again – I miss her and Simon. They’re living in Australia now, and it must agree with her, because she looks great. We also got a fun flashback from when Ramona walked off the first reunion because Alex had dared to have nude art photos taken. They’ve made up since then.

🕶 Another fun show that aired tonight was Andy Cohen’s Then and Now. It’s a pop-culture retrospective, and the first episode covered 1997. From Princess Diana‘s death to my beloved Spice Girls, using clips and celebrity interviews. Like with the death of John Kennedy before her, people tend to remember where they were when they heard the news about Diana. Oddly enough, I was watching the Spice Girls, who were on Saturday Night Live that night.

🍑 Just a note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It looks like there’s going to be a lot of crying and screaming and walking off stage in part four of the reunion. The lie about Kandi wanting to drug Porsha and have sex with her comes to a head, with Phaedra admitting that she initiated it. It’s my understanding that Phaedra has gotten the boot from Bravo for this move, and good riddance. That was beyond uncalled for.

 

Apr25

April 24, 2017 – Tracy has an Idea, Shep has a Birthday & Patricia has a Pet Caftan Line

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis asks Julian to wait. Like he has a choice, since he’s being moved out in shackles.

Ned doesn’t want Olivia to go it alone, but she says he’ll be there in spirit.

Samira stares at the painting. Ned tells her they can only cover for her for so long. She wants to leave immediately, with the painting, but Ned thinks Tracy might object to that. No offense to this girl, but unless she’s leaving something out of her story (which no doubt she is), why on earth would she think Tracy owes her a $20 million painting?

On the phone at the hospital, Tracy says she needs the result of the DNA test now. Laura pops out of nowhere, and asks what DNA test?

Jason asks if Jake recognizes a picture in the photo album. Jake looks disturbed, and Jason says that it’s a picture of him before his accident. He asks if Jake remembers what he looked like then, and Jake says he does.

Jax wants Carly and Josslyn to move to Australia where they can be a family.

Jordan tells them to take Julian back to his cell. She asks Alexis what’s going on, and Alexis says they were just surprised to see each other. Diane arrives, and Jordan says she just missed Julian. She asks if Alexis is ready to make her statement. Diane wants to confer with Alexis in private first, but Alexis just wants to get it over with. Jordan wonders why Diane is there, since it’s just a statement. She wants to know what happened while the details are fresh. Diane’s suit is to die for. Black and white with zipper detailing. All suits should look like this.

In the interrogation room, Jordan starts the recording. Jordan asks Alexis if she recognizes her own scarf, and if it was found at the location where Julian kidnapped her. Alexis says she wasn’t kidnapped, giving Diane apoplexy.

Samira wonders where Tracy is, and asks Ned if he thinks Tracy is avoiding her.

Laura tells Tracy that she was there for a board meeting that Tracy missed, and Tracy says she can’t be everywhere at once. Laura asks if the test has something to do with Samira. Tracy drags her by her elbow into a more private area, and makes her swear she won’t say anything. She explains about Samira giving her the journal and signet ring, and how Samira said that Edward had given them to her mother. She says that along with Samira’s blue eyes, and Laura finishes that she thinks Edward might be Samira’s father. Laura asks what Samira thinks, and Tracy tells Laura how she got the DNA and gave it to Finn. Laura says she shouldn’t be going behind Samira’s back. Tracy says she doesn’t want to get Samira’s hopes up, since it’s a remote idea. She says Finn will confirm it, and she can put her ridiculous speculations behind her. Laura says she seems nervous.

Elizabeth tells Jason that it never bothered Jake before. Jason asks why it bothers him now. Jake says it doesn’t, and they both say that he can tell him anything. He says it bothers him because of the witch.

Carly tells Jax that she can’t go. Jax asks why not. He tells her to pack for a few days, and they’ll send for the rest later. She says it’s sudden. Jax says Sonny pushing the issue has done them a favor. Maybe it’s fate’s way of saying it’s their time to be together for keeps. He still loves her. She says she loves him too. He asks if it’s like she used to, and maybe it’s closer to the surface than she thinks. She says it’s complicated. She knows who’s to blame for all this mess. Jax says they’ve been through a lot of messes, and they still end up in each other’s orbit. They’re connected, and bring out the best in each other. They make more sense when they’re together. He thinks their lives can be greater together than being apart.

Jax thinks that after everything that happened with Morgan, the best thing is for Carly to leave Port Charles. She says It’s tempting, but Josslyn isn’t her only family. He says Michael can visit, but she says she feels close to Morgan in Port Charles. His grave marker helps her talk to him. Jax says she’ll take his memories wherever she goes; she can never break their connection. She says it’s not the same.

Laura says that Tracy just found out her father loves her, and then Samira shows up wanting the painting. Tracy tells Laura that just because she’s dating a psychiatrist, doesn’t mean she can shrink Tracy’s head. They decide to go back to the estate. Laura says until Tracy finds out if it’s positive, she can make peace with the fact that she might have a sister. Tracy corrects that to half-sister.

Samira asks Ned if Tracy will still refuse her. Ned thinks she’s made up her mind. Samira asks how she can convince her, and shows Ned a picture of her daughter, Sadika. She says her daughter needs her.

Olivia-F visits Julian. He asks if she’s there to gloat. She tells him about the engagement, and he says he’s happy for them, but wonders what else she has to say. She says what they’ve decided affects him as well.

Diane says Julian admitted it, but Jordan says they’re getting the victim’s point-of-view. Diane wants a moment alone with her client, but Jordan says she hasn’t not committed a crime. She asks if Alexis made an arrangement to meet Julian, and when Alexis says no, Diane thanks God for small favors. Alexis says Julian surprised her, but she went with him of her own free will. Jordan asks if Julian didn’t try to kill her at the docks, and why would she go voluntarily? Alexis says she was trying to convince him to turn himself in, but hadn’t made much headway before the police arrived. Jordan figures they were there an hour, and I’ll refrain from any jokes. Jordan thinks there’s something Alexis isn’t telling her. Alexis thinks about getting busy with Julian, and says there is.

Alexis tells Jordan that there was some confusion as to why she was there, and one officer thought she was an accomplice. Julian was worried, so he said he’d taken her hostage. She says it was his idea at the spur of the moment. Jordan asks why she waited to say anything, and Alexis says everything happened fast. She repeats that Julian didn’t take her hostage. She asks Jordan since he charges will be dropped, is the case against him still as strong?

Julian asks Olivia how their getting married affects him. She says he’s probably going to prison for a long time, and Leo isn’t going to know him. She’s not bringing him to visit. She says she wants Ned to adopt Leo, and Julian says, absolutely not.

Ned tells Samira that her daughter has the same blue eyes that she does. Samira tells him about a song she used to sing to her daughter in English, and starts to sing We Gather Together, possibly because they want me to cry. Tracy and Laura walk in. Tracy is stunned.

Carly tells Jax that the only reason Nelle is still in Port Charles is to get her claws into Michael. She doesn’t know how he became so trusting, considering how he was raised, and Jax suggests that it’s his form of rebellion. Carly says that if she stays, she can get in his face about it. Jax says that her staying isn’t going to influence him. Michael is either going to forgive Nelle or not, but it’s up to him; she can’t dictate his life. He thinks what’s stopping her is Sonny.

Elizabeth changes the subject, but then asks if Jake wants to talk about the witch. He says he doesn’t. Jason tells him that’s fine, but no witch is going to hurt him; he’s safe with them. He asks to go to his room. When he goes upstairs, Elizabeth asks what made Jason think of the picture? Jason says that’s how he looked when he worked for Helena.

Jordan says she can’t comment on the case. Diane asks if Alexis is done and free to go, and Jordan hopes she’s not obstructing justice. Jordan says Alexis should listen – Diane is trying to save her from herself.

Olivia-F says no one needs to make Leo forget; Julian is doing fine on his own. Why does he want to remind Leo of what he’s done? She tells Julian to do what’s best for Leo, and let him be raised so he’s proud of himself, not ashamed of where he comes from. She says that Julian says he loves Leo, and letting Ned adopt him would be the greatest gift he could give to him.

Ned talks about how his family sings the hymn every year at Thanksgiving. Tracy says it’s a very popular hymn, but Samira says not in Turkey, and I laugh. She tells them that her mother taught it to her. Tracy says they have things to talk about. Samira asks if she reconsidered, and Tracy says she’s keeping the painting. Ned takes her outside the room to talk. Ned tells Tracy that they have another problem, and it has nothing to do with the painting.

Jason tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t remember his years with Helena. He did anything Helena ordered him to do. He thinks he lived on the island too, and Jake saw him with Helena, and that’s why he’s afraid.

Carly tells Jax that Sonny doesn’t control her. She says she just declared war, and she’s not running now. Jax says that will only feed Sonny’s ego, but she can prove he no longer matters, and that’s victory. She says Sonny is not getting away with it. Jax says that instead of giving herself a shot at happiness, she wants to fight Sonny because he’s still in her blood and always will be.

Laura tells Samira they’ll find a way to save her daughter. She gives Samira a dress she bought for her. Samira says she won’t be there along enough to wear it.

Ned tells Tracy that immigration will be back with a warrant. She says she knows how to help Samira.

Diana asks wth is the matter with Alexis? Alexis says she told the truth, and Diane says a selective version. For once she doesn’t want to hear the details, but reminds Alexis of the consequences. She painted Julian as a saint. The bar committee might interpret her actions as harboring a criminal, and she could permanently lose her license. Diane asks if he’s worth it.

Jason says Helena was able to force him to put a bomb on The Haunted Star, and could have ordered him to do anything, and he’d have done it. Elizabeth suggests Jake could have seen something.

Jax tells Carly to prove he’s wrong. She says it’s not the right time, and she’s sorry. He says he loves her, and he knows she loves him in her own way, but it’s not enough. He has to go, and she has to stay and get back together with Sonny. She says that’s not happening. Jax says Sonny is at the epicenter of everything, and he’s going to end up destroying her because he can’t help himself.

Olivia-F says that it’s not her intention to hurt Julian; she just wants what’s best for their son. He says that he does too, and she asks him to think it over. He’s going to prison for a long time, and even if he gets out, who will be waiting?

Alexis says she’ll have to cross those bridges when they come to her, and Diane tells her to just make sure not to burn them as she scampers across. Alexis says the charges won’t stick. She asks if they can’t get him on Olivia-J’s crimes, if the kidnapping charge is on failsafe. Diane asks how it would change anything if he walks away.

Tracy tells Ned that there’s only one thing they can do. Ned asks if it will help get Samira’s daughter back. Tracy says in the long run, but she needs to get Samira out of the country now.

Jason says maybe Jake is afraid because back then, Jason did something terrible to him.

Carly tells Jax that she’ll never let Sonny destroy her, but she needs time to process everything. Jax says they’ll always be friends, and he’ll always help as much as he can. She says she doesn’t think she’s being unreasonable, and he tells her to take her time, but he doesn’t know if he’ll be waiting. He says it’s not an ultimatum, but sometimes if you pass on an offer, it doesn’t come back. She says she’ll take her chances; it wouldn’t be fair with so much unresolved, especially with Josslyn. She thanks him for the needed clarity and something to think about. She tells him to fly safe, and he says he’s an expert pilot. They say good-by, and you know what I’m thinking.

Tomorrow, Nelle thinks Michael is never going to forgive her, Samira collapses, and Griff asks Anna if she knows how dangerous what she’s doing is.

😞 Jane Elliot is going to be leaving the show on May 4th, so there will be a special episode on Friday, highlighting Tracy’s exploits.

Southern Charm

Landon unloads stuff from the trunk of her car – or rather, has someone else do it – for the polo match at Thomas’s plantation. Thomas says she knows how to entertain and is good in the kitchen, unlike some other women who have been in his life. We flash back to Kathryn trying to cook dinner, a totally unfair comparison, since she’s also tending to a child. He wants a woman who will reflect positively on his legacy, and thinks maybe she’s the whole package. Oh, the jokes I could make, both about Thomas’s legacy and Landon being a package.

Everyone is getting ready. The horses are getting hosed down. The bar is set up. Guests start to arrive, and Landon plays Lady of the Manor. Or plantation, as it were.

Austen picks up Chelsea and I love, love, love her dress. The backless sundress style is flattering, and the orange and purple retro colors are fantastic. She says all she knows about polo is from Pretty Woman. I don’t even remember that. She says she made out with Shep once, but thinks he acts like an idiot.

Whitney tries to interact with Thomas’s baby. In her interview, Cameran says Whitney holding a baby is like Whitney holding a mop – he’s never done it before, so it’s awkward.

Landon tells Craig there’s hooch out back, and in his interview, he thinks she fits right in with this life. Chelsea eats like a heathen, and Austen wonders if it’s supposed to gross him out or turn him on. She tells Cameran and Whitney that it’s their first date, and Cameran questions if it’s breaking bro code, since Shep kind of had his eye on her. Well, maybe Shep needs to move faster.

Thomas explains polo rules to Austen. Craig wants to give it a go. Thomas’s kids are wheeled past in a giant stroller by the babysitter. Kelsey cries for daddy, but Thomas doesn’t even go over to them, since he wants to concentrate on the game. When Craig suggests he might want to give the child crying for him a hug, Thomas whines that he can’t please everyone. Craig is bothered, but Landon says Thomas is Thomas. Craig wonders how everyone would feel if Kathryn did the same thing. Good point, Craig. Landon thinks Craig doesn’t understand Southern social protocol. Craig tells Cameran about the kids calling for their dad, and him ignoring it, but she thinks it’s a healthy, stable environment. Craig decides to take a breather. In her interview, Cameran thinks he should re-focus his energy on helping himself.

Austen tells Chelsea that Thomas’s team won the match, and she says it’s rigged. Craig talks to Naomie about Thomas’s kids. In her interview, she says nobody likes a meddler. Yeah, unless that meddler is you. All of these people are meddlers.

Shep visits Whitney at his mommy’s house, while still drunk from the reception. He talks about turning 37 soon, and wonders where the years went. He thinks 40 is a good age to take stock, and says he has three years to go before he needs to panic. They make grilled cheese, and Shep asks what he missed. Whitney tells him about Austen and Chelsea being cozy at the polo match, and that he has competition.

Austen tells his roommate Dan about the possible breaking of bro code, but thinks it’s all good.

Shep asks if Austen and Chelsea were doing more than just talking. He wants to be in the know if someone is sitting in his chair. Whitney thinks he’s jealous because he’s been usurped by his protegee.

Kathryn meets Craig for dinner. He welcomes her back. She says she feels great, and asks about the charity event. She says it’s not that she didn’t want to see Thomas, but it didn’t seem like the right time. In his interview, he says he’s proud of her. He tells her about the polo match and Landon co-hosting. He says he thinks it makes Landon feel like she’s living her old life. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s been saying that Landon was pursuing Thomas, and when she reads people, she’s right. Craig tells her about Thomas ignoring the kids, and how he said he can’t please everyone. Kathryn says she has supervised visitation every other weekend. We see a clip of her picking the kids up. Craig wonders if they’ll get to the point where it’s joint custody. She says it’s complicated with all of the rules, and she’s dealing one day at a time.

Chelsea and Austen meet for drinks. They find out they’re both Geminis. She asks if he wants kids, and he tells her yes, but he’s not in a rush. She asks how many one-night stands he’s had. He tells her two or three, but in his interview, it’s a different story. He invites her over for a nightcap.

Shep calls Chelsea, who says she’s dying. She thought it was a good idea to drink Painkillers, and now she’s paying the price. He suggests that next time she goes out drinking, she let him know. We flash back to when they went out with Cameran, and Shep suggests she give him a haircut the next day and then have some fun. In his interview, he says he hates to lose.

Shep calls Landon. She doesn’t pick up, even though she’s looking at the phone. He invites her to his birthday boat cruise. It’s the next day, and I’m puzzled at how invitations always seem to be last-minute with this group. At most, they’re a week ahead of time. And these aren’t casual gettogethers. Either none of these people have anything to do, or they’re incredibly rude. Or both. We flash back to Shep giving Landon advice, and she says she’s not interested in being around him right now. She calls Craig, and asks if he’s going. He says they’ll just give Shep fuel if they don’t show up. He wonders if Shep is being an a-hole or a friend. Landon wishes it wasn’t on a boat, because it makes her feel trapped. Craig wonders if it’s on purpose, and she says she’s a good swimmer.

Naomie and Cameran go for mani/pedis. They talk about Shep’s birthday. Cameran says as the night gets older, he has the mental equivalent of a nine-year-old. They discuss Craig, and Cameran says he told her that he wants to build a real estate portfolio. She just wants him to find his niche. Cameran suggests that Naomie call him on not really wanting to be a lawyer. Naomie says it’s her fault for giving him a “safe space” at home. Cameran tells her that she can’t avoid discussing things because they’re uncomfortable. In her interview, she thinks Naomie is the best thing that’s happened to him, and if he doesn’t change, she’s going out the door. She tells Naomie not to be afraid to talk to him about it.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon to get a haircut. He’s taking this as a challenge. Not the haircut, getting together with her. She asks if he has a birthday date, and he says no. She asks if he met anyone at the wedding, and he says he’s weird and picky. He asks who she was with when she got drunk, and she says Austen. He asks if they’re romantically involved, and she says they’re hanging out and getting to know one another. She asks if he cares who she’s smooching, and he says he wants to be kept in the know. She asks about the reverse, and he says that he’s not with a different woman every night, but she says that’s the Shep she knows.

Austen picks out a checked shirt and says “righteous!” No. Just no.

Shep tells us that he loves kooky cocktail attire. When he dresses up, he doesn’t want to be conspicuous, but does want to be noticed. Everyone arrives at the boat. Shep tells Cameran about his haircut, and wonders if Chelsea has seen Austen since they went out drinking. Cameran says maybe they’re just friends, and points out that she and Shep go out together. In his interview, Shep says the definition of hanging out is different for everyone. So is hooking up. There’s awkwardness at the bar, with Shep, Austen, and Chelsea all there. In his interview, Whitney says Shep would do the same thing. Shep and Austen greet each other, and Chelsea looks super uncomfortable.

Craig got stuck in traffic, but manages to get there before launch time. The Caroline Girl shoves off, and Shep’s birthday is announced. Cameran tells Chelsea that the first thing Shep talked about was her going out with Austen. Chelsea says she had a blast with Austen, and felt chemistry. Cameran asks who’s the better kisser, and don’t lie. Chelsea thinks Austen has emotion, whereas Shep was like, you’re a girl and you’re here; there was no connection. Cameran says his reputation precedes him, and Chelsea says he’d have to do a lot to get her to stop thinking of him in that way. In her interview, Cameran says this screws up her grand plan, but maybe it’s a good thing, and will make Shep get it together. She hasn’t lost hope.

Cameran tells Shep about Chelsea and Austen making out. She says he needs to grow a pair. He says it’s easier for him to fool around with someone he doesn’t care about. Cameran says it’s not about that, and asks if he wants to be like Thomas – a fifty-year-old man with no shoelaces. We see Thomas, and sure enough, he’s wearing sneakers with no shoelaces. In his interview, Shep thinks Chelsea looks at him as never being serious.

Shep talks to Landon and Thomas. Landon wants to talk to him privately. Yep, she’s such an idiot, that she’s going to bother him with her feelings at his birthday party. He apologizes for being hard on her, but says he’d feel worse if he hadn’t said something. In her interview, Landon says it wasn’t exactly an apology, but if he wants to think they’re cool, fine.

Thomas tells Whitney that he doesn’t like pear-shaped girls, and he likes Landon’s body. He says that he’s never had “sexual relations with that woman,” but she’s the type he’d like. How repulsive is he? Let me count the ways. Landon sits down, and Thomas asks why he turns her off. She says that he doesn’t totally; they like a lot of the same things. She says a part of her wants to like Thomas, but there’s too much drama. She knows his reputation and current situation, and she was already married to that. Whitney suggests they get it over with, and see if they like it or they don’t, subtlety not being his strong suit.

Shep is getting that weird artist girl to do another painting of him. Chelsea and Austen go out on the deck. Shep acts stupid with the girls. In her interview, Cameran says that, instead of going after Chelsea, in typical Shep fashion, Shep is acting like a horny St. Bernard. He tells Cameran that he’s walking away, and she wonders why he’s even talking about it. He says he doesn’t want to ruin friendships.

Chelsea asks Austen how he feels about their relationship; she’s all about seeing where it goes. She says she likes him, and he says that’s great news.

Cameran says that Shep has a hard time showing his feelings, and he’s going to end up alone with a fridge full of beer. Shep says this is him; he isn’t hiding any inner feelings. Cameran thinks he’s lying, and Shep tells her that she’s wrong.

Next time, an altercation between Jennifer and Kathryn, Thomas thinks he’s lost his judgement skills (if he ever had them), Shep talks to Austen about Chelsea, Shep confronts Austen, and Craig tells Naomie that she’s acting dumb. Again I say, unless he’s not paying back borrowed money, or not paying his share of the bills, who cares what career path, or not, he decides to take?

🍹 Andy had promised all hell would break loose on Watch What Happens Live tonight. It wasn’t quite that, but it was a lot of fun. The guests were Patricia Altschul from Southern Charm and Kelly Osbourne. The best part was Patricia wearing a caftan with a sparkly collar and Pug Chauncy’s face all over it. And she has a line of things she can make for you too! She even presented Andy with Wacha PJs. I did want to yell at the TV a couple of times though. One being when Patricia agreed with Thomas ignoring the kids at the polo match, claiming that polo is a dangerous game, and he really needed to concentrate. I would actually buy that, if it weren’t for Thomas whining that he couldn’t please everyone. Andy also let Kelly plead the fifth twice, which just isn’t right. You can check out Patricia’s pet line at: http://patriciascouture.com/?gclid=CI_Y8dvqvtMCFc9MDQodXoYIhg

😯 In what could possibly be a future unfortunate identity crisis, there is a person named Patricia Couture, who made headlines with some scandal, so if you google it, make sure you put in Patricia‘s Couture or add Altschul.

PatriciaAltschulPetCaftans

 

Apr20

April 19, 2017 – Conscious Coupling & Un in PC, NYC’s Wives Invade the Hamptons & Some Extra Stuff

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jordan’s knight in shining armor, Curtis, arrives. He tells her the armor is spiritual. He has something amazing in mind, and holds up a leather bag.

Tracy mulls over Samira giving her Edward’s journal. There’s nothing in it to explain why Samira’s mother had it. Tracy looks into a box, and takes out a carrying case that says ELQ on it. Monica startles her, saying she knows what Tracy is doing, and to be honest for everyone’s sake.

Brad hassles Finn. He says Finn should have been booted from the hospital. Finn tells him to take it to Monica. Brad says he only got off the hook because he donated the money to the hospital. Finn gets the glory, while Brad is out of a condo. Finn suggests Brad repeat everything while he does this – and walks away. He runs into Griff, who says he’s Finn’s new supervisor.

Michael asks Sonny if he’s still thinking about going to South America. He says Sonny should leave Port Charles immediately, before the mess he made gets worse.

At the station, Carly tells Jax that Josslyn wants her to help with anything possible, so she’s gotten him an attorney. She opens the door to the interrogation room, and Nelle is there.

Tracy asks Monica how she’s not being honest. Monica says she’s grieving for her father all over again. Tracy says it’s time to face the ugly truth; Monica has learned how to read her. She says she’s trying to prove things in her own way. Samira appears, and thanks them for putting her up for the night. Tracy says she’s thought of new possibilities. Samira thinks she’s rethinking the painting, but Tracy explains that it can be traced back to her because she declared it with customs. She says even if it was possible, she’s not giving up her father’s legacy.

Hayden looks at a picture of her and Finn on her phone.

Griff is responsible for Finn’s drug testing. He says he’s not judging, and he’s there for Finn. Finn says he gets it. Griff has the thankless job of watching while he pees in a cup, but he doesn’t have to share his feelings; he doesn’t need a priest. Brad acts all skanky, listening from around the corner.

Michael tells Sonny that Jax was incarcerated overnight. He says Sonny put the whole thing in motion. Sonny says that Jax did that a long time ago, and now he has to pay.

Nathan tells Carly that Nelle has to make a statement. Nelle says she wants everyone to hear what she has to say.

Griff tells Finn that if he pushes away everyone trying to help, his recovery is going to be difficult. Brad takes notes.

Curtis produces a bowling ball. Jordan asks for pointers. Curtis gives her the ball, and some tips. She drops it, and it rolls away. She says she’s sorry to her neighbors downstairs, and Curtis says they’d better get used to noise. They start to kiss, but TJ knocks on the door.

Monica asks for a moment with Tracy. She tells Tracy that she knows how important the painting is, but this is an extreme situation. Tracy brings up the customs issue, and Monica says that if Samira gets caught, they can say she stole it. Tracy says that if Samira ends up in prison, that would be making a bad situation worse. Monica says she’s right, and Tracy wants that for her ringtone. She says it’s happening too fast. Samira showed up out of the blue and for all they know, she’s working with Larry. Monica suggests asking her some more questions.

Monica sits Samira down and says they want to know about her family life. Samira says she’d rather talk about their family. She sees how much Tracy loved her father, and talks about his kind eyes. Tracy says that Samira doesn’t know anything about Edward and never will.

Finn comes to Hayden’s office. He wants to talk about their last conversation. She says he needs to focus on his rehabilitation, and unless it’s hospital business, there’s nothing to discuss. He says compared to not talking to her getting off drugs should be easy. He’s wondering if when he gets through this, if she would give him a chance to make things right between them.

Nathan starts recording Nelle’s statement.

Griff asks Brad what he wants. Brad says it gives him no pleasure, but he feels it’s his duty to tell him what he knows about Finn.

Finn isn’t asking Hayden to be there while he’s in rehab, but wants to know if he’ll have a chance later. She says she’s been thinking about her decisions. She tells him how her father had always insisted on a huge Passover celebration, and he would talk about family, work, and unity, and how hard work pays off. Meanwhile, he was ripping people off right and left. All that talk about what truly mattered was a lie, and she ended up just like him, a liar and a user. Then she met Finn, but even though he brings out the best in her, she can’t make promises she might not be able to keep.

Tracy tells Samira that Monica forgot her manners, and Monica says people often wonder if she was raised by wolves. Tracy says that Monica married into the pack, but she requested breakfast for Samira. Tracy asks if she would like some orange juice, but Samira says she couldn’t eat a thing.

Michael asks Sonny why have Jax arrested for something he would have done himself? Sonny says that wasn’t his intention; he only wanted the confession as leverage. Michael wonders for what, since he wanted Jax to leave. Michael says that Jax isn’t the reason that Sonny and Carly broke up. Sonny says the reason is over; he didn’t sleep with Nelle. Michael says it’s about Morgan.

We don’t hear Nelle’s whole statement, but she ends with saying that she won’t be pursuing legal action. Carly asks if Jax is free to go, but Nathan says not yet. Carly says she’ll be back, leaving Jax and Nelle alone. Jax asks Nelle why.

Carly asks Nathan if it was enough. She says Sonny has a recording of Jax’s alleged confession, but she wants to know if Jax can be prosecuted using Nelle’s statement.

TJ returns Jordan’s laptop that he borrowed. He says he finished up early, and asks if they’re a couple now. They both stammer, and TJ says he’s been there. Jordan says they were just discussing going on their first date. They haven’t figured out if it’s serious yet, but would he be okay with that?

Tracy understands that Samira is worried and can’t eat. She says she’s the same way, but starving herself isn’t going to help her or her daughter. Samira asks for some water, and Tracy gets it. Geez, could she spare it? There’s like two inches in the glass. She says that she got Samira some new clothes and maybe she’d like to change. Monica leaves to make some calls.

Samira thanks Tracy for her generosity. She was hoping to convince Tracy of her sincerity. with the journal and ring. Tracy says she’d be happy to compensate her, but Samira says her father would want her to have them. Tracy says he wanted her to have the painting. Samira says maybe they can explore some other solutions. When she goes upstairs, Tracy puts the water glass in a plastic bag.

Griff tells Brad that he’s not at liberty to discuss Finn, and it would be inappropriate for Brad to ask about him. Brad says he’s on his way to the lab, and he’ll take the sample there, as he takes it from Griff’s hand. Why is Griff letting him do that??? Especially after what he just said.

Finn tells Hayden that he’s sorry for the interruption. He’ll send her a budgetary proposal through interoffice mail, so she doesn’t have to see him. Hayden says in order to stay clean, he has to follow the rules, and asks if he can do it.

Michael tells Sonny that if Morgan was still alive, he and Carly wouldn’t be doing this. They never did this kind of damage, and she’s forgiven him for worse than Nelle. She can’t get past it because Morgan is dead. When she wouldn’t forgive him, Sonny did something worse. He wanted to push her away, but it’s not going to lessen the grief; it will only add to it.

Nelle tells Jax that there are a lot of reasons why she wants to let it go, but she doesn’t want to hurt Josslyn anymore. She says what happened is on her father, not Jax. Jax says he’s still partly to blame. Nelle says he was willing to do anything for his daughter, and her father saw her as a way to get money. She’s not going to punish him for doing what she would have wanted her father to do. She tells him to tell Josslyn. She says something bad happened to her, and she had the choice to do something good, but instead chose to feed her own anger, lashing out and hurting people. She ended up hurting herself just as badly. She says an old friend told her that you can carry hurt with you or focus on the good and move on, and she’s trying to do that.

Nathan tells Carly that if victim refuses to testify, it shouldn’t go any further.

Finn tells Hayden not to worry. She says that she needs to know he’ll stick with it, with or without her. He says he’ll be fine with her or not. He leaves, and Griff walks in, wanting to talk about the budget. He can see that Hayden is upset, and he says he knows she’s worried about Finn. Well, she should be more worried than she is, since Griff is so loosey-goosey with Finn’s drug test.

TJ tells Jordan that the situation is odd, but he loves the both of them, and wants them to be happy. He hopes it works out, since it will be awkward if it doesn’t. He’s got to leave, and Curtis tells him be good, study hard, and you are the future. Curtis tells Jordan that they had to tell TJ, and that he seemed surprised, but he’s basically coming around. Jordan says he’s concerned about what happens if it doesn’t work out, and Curtis says she seems like she is too. She admits that she is.

Tracy sees Finn at the hospital. She says a situation has come up where she needs his help.

Michael tells Sonny that Josslyn is heartbroken. She already lost Morgan. He says Sonny isn’t thinking with his right mind. He’s grieving, and it’s messing with judgement and sense of perspective. It has nothing to do with him being bi-polar, but losing his son. Michael says he needs to find a better way to deal with the loss, rather than hurting everyone Morgan loved. Michael tells Sonny that he can try to fix it, but first he needs to know where Jax is in regard to the charges.

Nathan tells Carly that he’s taking Jax to the lawyer. Carly has something to say to Nelle.

Jordan tells Curtis they’ve been through a lot. Her attraction to him is definitely real, and they’ve both made a lot of mistakes in life. If they start this, and it blows up in their faces, she doesn’t want it to destroy their friendship. Curtis says that he shares her concern. She asks what now? He says there’s only one way to find out if it’s a mistake or real – do some serious bowling. I love Curtis.

Hayden says she can’t discuss it right now. Griff understands, but he’s hoping for the best. He thinks if Finn stays on the straight and narrow, it will be fine.

Tracy asks Finn to focus. She needs a DNA test done.

Monica wonders where Tracy went. The doorbell rings. It’s a man looking for Samira. He wants to speak to her now.

Michael tells Sonny that Jax is being released.

Carly thanks Nelle for not pressing charges, and Nelle says she wants the pain to stop. Carly says she’s on to her now. Almost everything Nelle has done, she did too. She says that Nelle wants to look good for Michael. She wants Michael to think he’s gotten through to her and she’s changed. She may want to believe she’s good enough for Michael, but she’s a damaged, screwed up little girl, who will end up trashing everything good she’s given. Carly says she’ll do everything she can to stop her.

Tomorrow, Tracy wants no questions asked, Franco thinks Jake is in serious trouble, and Nelle asks Carly when it’s going to be enough.

I have to mention how annoying it is to me when Carly says Nelle is just like her, then denies her the same graciousness that she ended up getting. She slept with her mother’s husband, for Pete’s sake. (Who is Pete anyway?) I’m sure I could look for some deep-seated psychological reason, such as Carly really doesn’t like herself, and is treating the Nelle the way she thinks she should really be treated, but I don’t have time.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Luann and Dorinda go to Luann’s house in Sag Harbor. Bethenny and Carole are staying at Bethenny’s place, and Bethenny is threatening to lock up Carole and Donald Trump in the guest house together. Bethenny talks to Carole about Sonja being bitter because she wasn’t invited to the Berkshires.

Sonja tells Tinsley about the talk she had with Luann. In her interview, Tinsley says if Sonja wants a friendship with Luann, she’ll have to drop talking about Tom.

Dorinda tells Luann that Sonja keeps talking smack about her. Luann tells her that Tinsley is living with Sonja right now. Dorinda says Sonja keeps talking about being sober, but for all they know, she could be drinking tequila through of a crazy straw at this very moment. She received a picture of Sonja and a stripper at Luann’s shower, and thinks Sonja’s life is in chaos.

Tinsley asks Sonja how she’s going to feel about seeing Dorinda. Sonja regrets not having her at the tea party, and says that two wrongs don’t make a right. Sonja and Tinsley compare underwear.

Carole wants a mellow weekend, since she has election stress. She’s feeling malaise. Please. She talks about Ramona getting irritated with her at the tea party when she was talking about the election. In her interview, Carole says Ramona isn’t interested in politics, and Bethenny says it’s all Carole talks about – all roads lead to the election. She adds that Carole doesn’t want to talk to anyone who isn’t on what she perceives as her political level. I can tell I’ll be gritting my teeth through this season, the same way I do when I go to Facebook.

Luann, daughter Victoria, and Dorinda go for a boat ride. Dorinda misses having a boat. They talk about Luann losing her countess title, which just now dawned on her daughter. In her interview, Luann says that Countess is part of who she is, and once a countess, always a countess. We all admire the fall colors in Sag Harbor.

Carole and Bethenny go for some acupuncture. Can they stick a needle in Carole’s brain so that she stops talking? Carole tells the acupuncturist that she’s stressed. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s never heard Carole say she’s stressed, and has wondered at times if she even had a pulse. Bethenny gets something done on her back. The acupuncturist looks at Carole’s tongue, and she also shows him fungus on her toe. Bethenny tells her that he’s not a podiatrist, and he’s like yeah, you need a different kind of healer for that. In her interview, Carole says Bethenny is in a secret, quiet hell due to suckerfish ex Jason Hoppy. Bethenny gets some cupping done. She wonders if Luann is going to say anything about the Tom thing in Miami when they get together, but Carole thinks she’ll keep it moving rather than face having a real conversation.

Bethenny and Carole arrive first for dinner. They see Ramona’s ex business partner at another table. Ramona arrives from visiting Avery. She claims the kids in Avery’s dorm look at her as a friend, but my guess is that they look at her as an anomaly, and probably an embarrassment. They look at pictures on Ramona’s phone while she fishes for compliments.

Dorinda and Luann arrive. Dorinda is anxious. She hasn’t seen Bethenny since the reunion, and there was a lot of tension. She and Carole talk about the election being scary, stressful, and close. They move on, discussing Luann’s house addition. Bethenny asks Ramona if she’s coming to the election party, but she feels like Carole already hit her over the head with it. Bethenny says that Carole doesn’t want people there who aren’t “informed,” and Ramona says everyone has their own interpretation. In her interview, Carole says her party is bi-partisan and everyone is invited…sort of. Huh? I certainly can’t imagine it being bi-partisan in any way.

Ramona asks Bethenny if her daughter has been approached by anyone since Bethenny did “soft porn” in her past, and it was in the tabloids recently. I missed that. She says yes, Diane Sawyer tracked her daughter down at the schoolyard. Ramona expresses concern, but Bethenny blows it off. In her interview, Bethenny says if anyone had brought it up, she would have just made some self-deprecating remarks, but Ramona is trying to embarrass her and has hit a new low. She says she needed the money and had wanted to be an actress at one time. Ramona says she doesn’t like Bethenny being defensive. Bethenny says it was a cheesy movie where she was a murderer. Ramona is all insulted because Bethenny doesn’t care. In her interview, Ramona says good friends should be able to ask each other questions. Luann says she doesn’t think Bethenny wanted Ramona to bring up her ex porno life, and Bethenny is like, you do realize I can hear you, right?

Bethenny says she thought Luann wrote a book on etiquette. Luann asks if what she said was wrong, and Bethenny says not if she’d said it to her, but it’s wrong to speak about her like she’s not there. She tells Ramona that she looks a bit wild, and Ramona says she doesn’t like Bethenny’s attitude. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s starting to sweat, and Ramona has the delivery of a lead balloon. Ramona tells Carole that because she doesn’t have children, she doesn’t understand. In her interview, Carole compares Ramona to Donald Trump and I want to cry. I’m hoping I don’t have to stop watching this. Ramona says Bethenny is rude, and Luann seconds it, but Bethenny says she doesn’t care what they think about her. Luann declares that Bethenny has shown her true colors, and doesn’t care about anyone except herself. In her interview, Luann gripes about Bethenny not asking about the wedding plans. Ramona calls Bethenny a witch, and decides to talk to Luann, deliberately turning away from Bethenny. Bethenny says she’s been called a witch and wicked, and she’s leaving. In her interview, Luann talks about Bethenny insulting her in the Berkshires, and how she didn’t leave. That was pretty bad. She thinks Bethenny should put on her big girl pants and stay. Carole gets up to go next. She thinks suckerfish Hoppy is enough; Bethenny doesn’t need this from Ramona.

Tinsley and Sonja arrive at Sonja’s house in the Hamptons. Sonja can’t wait for Ramona’s dinner party (why?), even though she wasn’t invited to stay at Ramona’s house. Sonja shows Tinsley to her room, and acts like an idiot bouncing on the bed.

Ramona, Luann, and Dorinda go to a winery for lunch. They discuss the previous evening. Ramona acts like she didn’t say anything outlandish, and just presented a hypothetical situation of concern to Bethenny. Luann says that Bethenny can dish it out, but not take it. In her interview, Dorinda says she didn’t even get to take a breath before Ramona started talking about it.

Bethenny says Ramona likes to find dirt about someone and bring it up. Truth! This reminded me of when she walked off the first (I think) reunion because Alex McCord had done some nude art photos. Bethenny is glad she doesn’t have to go to Ramona’s. She did get Ramona a gift, and Carole suggests she put her own name on the card and bring it. She’s kidding, just in case you questioned that. Bethenny is going to pick Carole up from Ramona’s later.

Dorinda tells Luann and Ramona about Sonja’s smack talk on Facebook. Filing that under who cares? Dorinda brings it up on her phone, and says she’s done. She doesn’t want to ruin Ramona’s party, but she might not be able to help herself. What happened to her telling Luann that she was going to act like a lady? Dorinda says Sonja is going to get it tonight.

Sonja tells Tinsley that Dorinda doesn’t have manners, but she wants to get back to being social friends and move forward. Tinsley is concerned that Sonja will be upset if she likes Dorinda, but Sonja says that won’t happen. Tinsley is nervous, and Sonja says it’s her fault.

Ramona sets things up for her dinner party. People we don’t know arrive, along with Dorinda. Dorinda shows Ramona more comments about her that Sonja posted. She says she’s going to make an effort to be cordial. Like that has ever happened.

Commercial break that annoys me. The first one is Maya Rudolph advertising Seventh Generation cleaning products, when she also advertises Clorox. Aren’t those opposite ends of the cleaning spectrum? Then I see Jeffrey Tambor promoting Tide, and wonder how much more money he needs? I can’t stand it when wealthy, well-known actors take jobs away from starving artists.

Carole arrives at Ramona’s place. Dorinda tells her about Sonja’s online comments, and how she said she’d never go to Luann’s tacky wedding. Dorinda says she has a mole, as in an investigative person, and has a file on Sonja a mile wide. Dorinda isn’t on the martini train tonight because she’s stalking prey.

Sonja says in her interview, that her MO is to never confront. She doesn’t deal with the elephant in the room, and is all about decorum. She and Tinsley walk into Ramona’s house.

Next time, the dinner commences, Carole tells Bethenny that it’s a nuthouse while Bethenny watches from outside, Dorinda informs Sonja that you need an invitation to go to a wedding, and Ramona is disinvited to Carole’s election party.

A Quote that Can’t Wait for Friday

Do one thing every day that scares you. – Eleanor Roosevelt

🙌 Imposters has been renewed! It will be back in 2018. Hopefully, I’ll make it until then.

😹 Michael Rapaport is always hysterically funny on Watch What Happens Live, and tonight was no exception. He makes me literally lol.

Jan31

January 30, 2017 – Light Bulbs Come On at GH & James Gets an Expensive Nap

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna apologizes to Griff; she’d wanted to tell him about Claudette’s death herself. She brings him flowers, saying she’s sorry for his loss. He says Claudette made mistakes, but she didn’t deserve to die like that. Anna says she’s been there, and can relate to why he attacked Valentin.

Nina brings Valentin to The Floating Rib. She says he probably hates it since he’s used to five-star restaurants, but he tells her he used to frequent some pretty seedy places. They discuss the merits of dives, and Nina says the mac and cheese at the Rib is better than at the MetroCourt.

At the station, Kiki tells Dante and Nathan what happened with Sam. She says it’s been a lot longer than the fifteen minutes she said she’d wait. Nathan tells Dante he’ll deal with it while Dante makes out the search warrant for Alexis’s place.

Seth tells Elizabeth that Franco ran away to save himself. She says he wouldn’t go without telling her, and the only way he’d disappear is if something bad happened or he’s dead. We see the shelf of trophies again.

Franco tells Sam that he doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t think she’s worried about Julian though; he thinks she’s worried that Alexis is involved with Tom’s murder.

Alexis goes to the station. She tells Dante that she’s fully prepared to cooperate with the investigation into Tom’s murder.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s been doing research on how to explain surrogacy to a child. She gives him a story she made up about an egg, but Valentin prefers a more clinical approach. Nina says Charlotte will be hopelessly confused. She says she has a problem with Lulu spilling the embryo beans, but Valentin says what’s done is done, and that’s why they have to talk to Charlotte now.

Griff tells Anna that he preaches about the power of forgiveness, yet he’s constantly challenged by it in his own life. Yep, that’s usually how it works. He can’t forgive Valentin, and doesn’t know what to do. He needs to find some answers. Anna says Valentin did give up some of his secrets, and it’s given her a place to start. She says he claims that he’s grateful for her rejection, but she’s not buying it. Griff calls Valentin a murderer, but Anna says there’s no proof, and it’s only his opinion. If he continues to attack Valentin, he could end up arrested.

Elizabeth tells Seth that Tom turned the tables on Franco and escaped. Seth says, then he was murdered, and wonders how she can trust Franco. She says Franco has changed, but Seth says it’s a lie. She asks where that leaves his own brother, inferring that Tom didn’t change either.

Kiki begs Nathan to save Franco. Nathan wonders why Sam went by herself, and Kiki says she wanted to talk to Franco before the police did.

Sam wants to know why Franco suspects Alexis. He says that Alexis was there. He tells Sam about running into Alexis at Gene’s, and then finding the picture of her and Tom in a booth there on the night in question.

Dante interviews Alexis. Why isn’t Diane with her? He says there’s increasing suspicion that she was involved with Tom’s murder. She says she is; she killed him.

Nina asks when Valentin was going to tell Charlotte, and he says someday. He tells her that his father Mikkos died when he was young. He spent a lot of time in England because Mikkos was hiding him from Helena. Stavros was obsessed with Lulu, and harvested her eggs against her will. It was found out that Stavros couldn’t father a child, so Helena set up Valentin and Daphne, and Daphne drugged him. He says rather than having his child raised under Helena’s thumb, he stole the embryo.

Anna talks to Griff about Valentin’s past. She says his talent for linguistics at Oxford led him to training at the WSB. She tells Griff about Valentin’s boarding school burning down.

Nathan tells Kiki to stay there, and asks if there’s anything else. Kiki says Franco knew who killed Tom, and explains how he didn’t want to hurt the family. She says that the way Sam was acting, she thinks it has something to do with her. She tells Nathan that she doesn’t care if he arrests Franco on the spot, as long as he’s safe.

Sam tells Franco that just because Alexis was having a drink with Tom doesn’t mean she killed him. Franco says, well, he didn’t. She asks what he was going to do with the picture, and he says he wasn’t going to the police with it. She wonders if he’s still going to protect Alexis after the police get there.

Diane bursts into the interrogation room. She says Alexis was acting so weird, she followed her. She tells her to wrap it up and let’s get going. Dante says that Alexis just confessed to Tom’s murder. Alexis says she can’t live like this anymore. Diane tries to get Dante to leave, but Alexis says she needs her friend to listen to her.

Seth says Tom tried to become the man he should have been, and Franco did none of that. He tells Elizabeth that his mother is sick. She was happy Tom was home, but her health is going to plummet now. Elizabeth says sorry about his mom, but she’s not trying to bring more pain to the family; she just wants to find Franco. Seth says, face it, he’s not coming back. He tells her to see herself out. When he leaves the room, she she’s a scrapbook peeking out from under a chair. It’s opened to a page with Kiki’s picture on it.

Valentin tells Nina that when he stole the embryo, he was prepared to kill Helena, but she wasn’t there. He approached Claudette, who seemed like the perfect candidate for a surrogate. She double-crossed him, but took good care of Charlotte. He was going to wait until Charlotte was old enough to understand, and if she wanted to reach out to Lulu, they would do that. Now Charlotte is asking questions she can’t understand the answers to. He says he’ll always do whatever he can for his daughter. Nina says she’s lucky to have him as a father. He says he’s the lucky one. She brought him love he thought he didn’t deserve.

Anna tells Griff that Valentin resurfaced as Theo Hart, specializing in smash and grab jewelry heists. She thinks he used his profit share for his surgeries, explaining that he was disfigured and had scoliosis. She says that’s why she didn’t recognize him until he stammered. She tells Griff that he wasn’t a monster back then; he was a brilliant trainee, but something must have happened that he’s not telling her about and she can’t remember.

Dante questions Alexis about how she knew Tom. She says she got drunk with him the day of Morgan’s funeral, but she didn’t know who he was. She woke up in a motel room, worried that she’d slept with him, because she’d been having blackouts. She had a blackout the night he was killed.

Sam says Franco isn’t going to sacrifice himself for her mother. He tells her that if Alexis killed Tom, she had a good reason. She has a great life, but has been through a lot. He says he’d like to make up for the sleepless nights he’s caused Sam, so if the police hear about it, it won’t be from him. Franco coughs up some blood. Nathan busts in with some cops. Sam tells him that Franco needs to go to the hospital.

The scrapbook contains pictures of various women in it, including Elizabeth. She wastes time looking through it until Seth comes back out and sees her. What an idiot she is. I would have grabbed that thing and run.

Nina tells Valentin that they’re kindred spirits. She says she hasn’t led a blameless life either, but there’s a little girl whose life is at stake. Valentin says he won’t risk custody of Charlotte by doing anything stupid. He tells Nina that she’s unpredictable, wild, and lovely.

Griff has to run tests on Franco, since he was beaten pretty severely. Kiki comes into his room, and says she was worried, but she’s glad he’s alive. She and Elizabeth were losing their minds. He asks where Elizabeth is, and Kiki says she texted her.

Seth asks Elizabeth what the book is and where she found it. She tells him it was under the sofa. He says he’s never seen it before. He thought Tom got better, and he’d sworn that he didn’t have impulses anymore. Elizabeth says Franco was right, and it’s proof that Tom was still a predator.

Alexis tells Dante that she was drunk the next time she saw Tom, and told him she wasn’t interested. She left the bar, and he followed her outside. He grabbed her, and pulled out a knife when she screamed. She went into a primal rage and got the knife away. She says she raised her hand to stab him – Diane adds, in self-defense – and she must have stabbed him, since he was found dead the next day. Diane asks if she remembers killing him, but Alexis says that she only has flashes of memory. Diane says maybe she didn’t do it, and Dante can’t arrest her on the basis of what she just said.

Nina tells Valentin he’s very special to her, and her family means everything to her. She suggests that they start protecting their family and tell Charlotte. Anna interrupts and asks to speak with Valentin. She tells him that she understands why he held on to the picture – because she inspired him to remake his life. Nina asks what she’s talking about.

Dante asks Alexis if she had blood on her clothes. She says she checked, and there was nothing, but maybe she washed. Diane suggests not making the case for them, and reiterates that it was self-defense. Dante says they’ll check out her place, but maybe some pictures will jog her memory. He shows her a picture of Tom’s body In the alleyway, and asks if she remembers anything. She flashes back to getting the knife from Tom and coming after him. He begs her not to kill him, and she drops the knife. She tells Tom, screw you, and jets. In the present, she tells Dante that she dropped the knife and ran. She didn’t do it.

Franco’s vitals are stable, but Griff says he should rest. Nathan says he’ll be outside, and Franco says good, but where is he gonna go? Nathan says they’ll send in Elizabeth as soon as she gets there. Kiki wonders what’s keeping her, and Nathan tells them about her going after Seth. Out at the reception desk, Griff tells Sam that Jason should be fine. He’s taken her by surprise, and she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Elizabeth tells Seth that Franco is still missing, but now the police will take her seriously about him trying to protect her. She says Franco didn’t kill Tom, but there has to be something in there that’s a lead. She takes the book and says she’s going to the police with it.

Kiki leaves the hospital room. Franco remembers being in the storage unit and writing the note. He flashes back to looking at the trophies, wondering again where he’s seen them before. Seth’s house, you moron!

Anna says if there’s anything more Valentin needs to know just ask. She tells him something in (I think) Latin, and says he’ll know what it means. When she’s gone, Nina asks what’s going on between him and Anna.

Sam gets Jason’s room number and runs for the elevator.

Dante asks if Alexis saw anyone else. She says she was afraid, and just wanted to get home before anyone knew. Diane asks if Dante thinks she’s innocent, and he says he does. Diane says it doesn’t look like self-defense, but a brutal vengeful murder. Dante says his sights are still set on Franco.

Nathan calls the station and lets them know what’s happening. Kiki wants to check on Elizabeth, and tells Nathan that if she shows up to have her call.

Franco ponders where he’s seen the trophies. He remembers. He sits up and says Elizabeth is in trouble.

Seth tells Elizabeth that he should be the one to bring the evidence to the station. She suggests they both go, but he’s hesitant. She says she’ll meet him there, and moves to the door. Seth stops her from leaving.

Tomorrow, Ava and Sonny argue, Franco wants to talk to the cops, and Valentin comes clean with Nina… maybe.

Vanderpump Rules

Wesley, a Villa Blanca bartender, is getting a drink-making lesson from Tom and Ariana on what they do at SUR and PUMP. Lisa asks if Wesley knows any of the staff, and he mentions that James has been there. Lisa tells him to never serve James. Tom says he’s taking James to hypnotherapy to get a handle on his emotions, but Lisa thinks he just needs to drink less. Wesley says they haven’t had any issues with him, but he’s only been there once.

James’s mom, Jacqueline, meets him for lunch. The divorce has been hard on James. He hasn’t seen her in a while, and wants to catch up. He tries to explain the mess he’s made of his life, comparing it to having given Lisa too many slices of pie. Jacqueline says at the end of the day, people are jealous, and James agrees that he’s been a threat to some people. I realize your mother is your mother, but this guy seriously doesn’t have a clue. He invites his mom to his new gig. They talk about Raquel, and James tells Jacqueline that Kristen has been lying about him sleeping with women other than Raquel. Jacqueline says she’s probably barren and that’s going to be her karma. I fail to see how this would even things out, but I see where James gets his charm. Really. That was just weird. I wonder what James’s karma would be, since he’s lying about Kristen lying.

It’s time for Brittany’s mom, Sherri, to go back to Kentucky. She thanks her mom for being a good sport, especially about the roast. Sherri asks Brittany if she’s sure that Jax hasn’t cheated on her, and has some things she wants to talk to Jax about. I’m sure Jax will be thrilled and so forthcoming.

Jax comes in with healthy food. He tells Sherri that he’s glad she could share his birthday with him. He apologizes for not being able to take her to the airport because he has to work. In his interview, Jax says he loves Sherri, but the second she’s gone, he’s eating hot wings while watching Sports Center in his underwear.

Sherri quizzes Jax on being gay, but he tells her he’s never gone down that road. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Brittany thinks he’s being defensive, and he says he’s gotten that question before. She tells him that no one is attacking him, but he can’t get out the door fast enough. On his way out, he suggests Brittany tell her mom how she’s been sitting on the couch for a year while he takes care of her. Well, he might pay most of the bills, but she’s hardly sitting around eating bonbons all day.

After Jax leaves, Brittany apologizes to her mother, and says it’s not okay. In her interview, she says Jax tends to turn things around and make her the bad guy. Jax comes back in, and apologizes that Sherri had to see them argue. Sherri says she just wants them to be happy. Jax says that he gives Brittany everything, and asks for nothing in return except to do what he wants. Whatever that means. And what about the constant demand for turkey sandwiches? Brittany pops back in from the other room, saying she’s never stopped him from doing anything. She tells him not to act like she’s ungrateful, because that’s not in her character. Jax thinks the other girls have been influencing Brittany. Sherri stops things before it turns into a fight, and suggests again that they go to church. Jax says maybe he does need Jesus, and that he needs something.

Lisa checks out the new paint for the entryway at SUR. It’s a yes. Katie tells Lisa that Scheana was complaining to her about the cost of the shower. Lisa says that isn’t something that Katie should even be involved with. That should be a given, and I’m starting to think maybe Scheana was raised by wolves. In her interview, Katie wonders if she should have relinquished control of anything, but I don’t know of any bride who planned their own shower.

Schwarz goes for a suit fitting with his groomsmen, including Ariana. He’s getting a custom-tailored suit, and the groomsmen will be in black, with their ties matching his suit. Tom asks if they can wear vests, and pouts when Schwartz says he’d prefer not. Hans and Franz would have a field day with this girly-man. Schwartz ends up agreeing, and Tom compares it to Stassi crying and getting herself invited to the engagement party.

The bridesmaids are having a lunch, and Scheana finally forks over the money for the wedding events. Brittany tells the girls about Jax being defensive with her mother. Stassi says she can relate, since he used to start fights in front of her parents all the time. They discuss the bachelorette party. Apparently, the bachelor party will be in the same locations, because Kristen has texted Tom about going to New Orleans, adding that Vegas isn’t an option. Schwartz likes the idea of the Bahamas, but not everyone has a passport. Stassi suggests if they go to NOLA, she do the heavy planning, since that’s her home turf. In her interview, Scheana says that Stassi is back to steamrolling everyone and making it about her, like that isn’t a legitimate suggestion. Not to mention that Scheana spaces out if the topic isn’t about her for more than five seconds. Brittany asks Stassi if Ariana being a groomsman is awkward, since they’ve had a falling out, but Stassi blows it off. The groom agrees to NOLA.

Lisa accompanies Katie to a flower shop so she can help with wedding flower ideas. Katie tells Lisa how Schwartz says they don’t need flowers because he’s such a cheapskate. I’m a cheapskate that way too. When we were getting married, neither one of us were members of the church we were being married in. I couldn’t see the logic in spending hundreds of dollars for something that everyone was going to see for an hour and then got left in a place we had no connection to. For the reception centerpieces, we had bud vases with a single bloom in them. Elegant and inexpensive. Lisa brings up the argument that Katie and Schwartz had the other night, telling her that the mean texts that go back and forth don’t help anything. She tells Katie that they’ll have enough battles in their life to fight – they need to unite and fight the world together.

Tom tells James that hypnotherapy is about being the best version of yourself, and that James needs to get in control of his emotions because he tends to overreact. James is skeptical, since Kristen had him do crystal therapy. We flash back to that. He wonders if he’ll wake up a changed man. The therapist comes to his apartment, and they discuss his drinking. She says only he can make changes in himself, and asks what he wants. He says he wants to make music, but doesn’t want to present himself as a jerk. He has a performance coming up, A Study in Hollywood, and he wants it to be positive. In his interview, Tom says that underneath his defense mechanisms, James is a delicate guy. He actually says “delicate guy.” Delicate isn’t a word I’d use in regard to James.

The session is over. The therapist says he’s rejuvenated and full of ideas now. Yay! All better!

Ariana is going horseback riding, and brings Scheana along. In her interview, Ariana talks about her first horse, Raven, saying it’s hard to explain the relationship between horse and rider. She got Raven when they were both eight, and Raven died when they were both thirty. She chokes up, and although I’m not too keen on Ariana lately, I feel for her. Twenty-two years is a long time to have an animal. Scheana watches as Ariana rides, and Tom joins her. After Ariana is finished, Tom tells her about the hypnotherapy session. In her interview, Scheana thinks it’s going to take more than that to cure James, and says the way he treats women is disgusting. Agreed and agreed.

Tom tells them about Schwartz and Katie doing a prenup. Scheana says she’d never do something like that, but Ariana and Tom think it’s a good idea since you never know what’s going to happen.

Katie and Schwartz go to the lawyer’s office. In her interview, Katie talks about Schwartz’s frugal ways, and gloats a little about him having just spent $2500 for the prenup. Katie has no assets, and the lawyer laughs when he sees Schwartz’s list. They talk about sharing custody of their dogs in the event of a divorce, and how they would each keep their own money made throughout the marriage. In his interview, Schwartz says doing the adult thing is not fun. I get that they’re doing this in case they do make money someday, but this is probably the easiest money that lawyer ever made. I also wonder about their lack of assets, considering they have jobs at SUR and Vanderpump Rules is in its fifth season.

Scheana tells Ellie about running into James and Raquel. They decide to attend James’s gig and make him uncomfortable. Somehow, Scheana thinks this will make him take accountability for his actions. Imagine the sound the buzzer makes when you get the answer wrong on Family Feud.

Jax and Brittany go out for dinner. He apologizes for arguing in front of Brittany’s mom, and she says Sherri was pretty uncomfortable. He asks her about the church her mother suggested, and tells her that he used to go to church camp and recites some rhyme about keeping your elbows off the table. In his interview, Jax talks about holy oil and not understanding what it’s for. Brittany tells him about the girls planning to go to James’s gig. He thinks it’s a great idea, and she reminds him that he’s still on probation.

Schwartz, Katie, Tom, Ariana, and Stassi as the fifth wheel, go to a painting class. In her interview, Katie tells us that painting isn’t her strong suit, but in the words of Bob Ross, there are no mistakes, just happy accidents. Scwartz asks if everyone is cool with everyone. Stassi thinks Ariana speaks to her in a callous and condescending way. Ariana asks why she cares, and Stassi says because they’re friends with the same people. She’s uncomfortable for them, it makes people unhappy, and it’s hurting her feelings. Tom says that thing about only you can make you feel a certain way, which is what people say who have just hurt your feelings. Katie agrees that it’s making things awkward, and wants it to stop. In her interview, Ariana thinks Stassi is acting entitled, but I think she is being callous and condescending. She definitely has a superiority complex. In his interview, Tom says Katie can’t get upset because Ariana is included in the groomsmen activities when she tried to exclude her to begin with. Yes, young and clueless Tom, this is exactly the point. Katie didn’t want her involved with the wedding in the first place, and obviously no one, including the groom, cared about her feelings.

James says that this is the night he’s been waiting for, and he’s going to kill it. Kill what? His career? Tom wonders what Jax is doing there, and Jax says he has an ulterior motive. Tom tells him, I’ll bet. James does some rapping. He seems winded. It’s maybe okay, but I don’t think Kanye West has anything to worry about. Kristen and Carter arrive, and now Tom is like, wtf? He says it reminds him of The Matrix when the black cat walked by twice – something is about to happen. Kristen explains about GG and Ellie being there to make James feel unsettled.

GG introduces herself to Raquel, and Raquel suggests that GG is obsessed with James. GG tells her that she’s delusional, and asks if there are unicorns in her world. Ha-ha! James comes over, and then Ellie steps forward, giving him the clothes she borrowed when she slept over. He says she’s disgusting, that he’d never have sex with the likes of her, and calls her a slut. She slaps him, sort of, and Kristen calls Jax over to watch. Tom gets involved. In his interview, he says they don’t care about Raquel; they’re just mad that they slept with James. Well, yeah.

Somehow it starts. James gets in Jax’s face and then darts away. Jax throws his drink toward James, and James throws a glass that shatters. There’s a bunch of confusion, and Kristen gets James kicked out. Outside, James screams at Tom that all his friends are lowlifes and losers. In his interview, James says that Jax is jealous. Because this has to be the only reason that someone wouldn’t like him. Tom asks Jax what the blip, and Jax says James tried to kick him. In his interview, Tom says it’s not enough that James got fired from PUMP; they have to follow him somewhere else. Jax insists that James was antagonizing him, and Tom says that he can’t blame James. I guess the hypnotherapy didn’t work.

Next time, the boys raid Lisa’s closet, Raquel questions James’s loyalty, and Scheana throws a hissy fit.

Postscript: I saw James rap on the subsequent Watch What Happens Live, and he was marginally better, but I don’t think anybody has anything to worry about. His performance sort of reminded me of a bad rap version of Oliver!

Jan26

January 25, 2017 – Searching for Franco & Random Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Curtis tells Jordan that she’s thinking the same thing he’s thinking, and kisses her. They move their kissing to the bed.

Dillon meets Kiki, who says they need his help.

Sam tells Elizabeth that they have to find Franco now. She wants to trace his steps before he disappeared. Elizabeth is puzzled, and asks if Sam talked to Alexis, saying that Sam practically laughed in her face before. Even though Sam doesn’t admit it, Elizabeth can tell she talked to her mother, and asks what Alexis said.

Julian asks Alexis how much of the truth she told Sam. She says she’s the one asking the questions, and wants to know if he did something to Franco.

Franco writes a note asking whoever finds it to contact Elizabeth, but the light keeps going on and off. He slips the note under the door, hoping a good Samaritan will come by.  Where the blip is he?

Jason gets up from the table and falls over. Methinks something was slipped into his coffee. The server yells for someone to call 911, and Tracy runs over and shakes Jason. She asks if he can hear her, and says he’s burning up. He says he’s fine, but she tells him that he just collapsed. She says to wait for the paramedics and suggests calling Sam, but he says no.

Sam tells Elizabeth that they should concentrate on finding Franco. Elizabeth says Sam is still hoping he’s the guilty party.

Kiki fills Dillon in on the Franco situation, and gives him the phone. She says she called around to see if it could be fixed, but every place she called was negative, and just tried to sell her a new phone. Obviously, someone besides me has had a problem with pushy salespeople, since this is the second time they’ve mentioned that. Dillon has an idea. He has a dehumidifier for high tech equipment, and wants to use it to dry out the phone.  He’s not making any promises, but thinks it’s worth a shot.

Alexis reminds Julian that he said he’d do anything to help her. She tells him that Franco has the picture of her and Tom at the bar. Julian doesn’t think anyone would believe him, but Alexis says this time Franco might be right, and if he were to disappear, the police would probably consider the case closed. She asks him where Franco is, but he says he doesn’t know. She asks how she can believe he’s telling her the truth, and he says she can’t.

Franco walks around to keep warm. He talks about food, a cheeseburger and curly fries. He wonders if someone is coming back to finish the job, and looks for a weapon. Well, there are quite a few lamps around; a broken light bulb or a cord might be good. After living in NYC for twenty years, I always know where the closest weapon is. He digs into a box, but it’s only Tupperware. The next box contains trophies. I would think one of those would make pretty good weapon. You could certainly poke somebody’s eye out. Looking at them, he says whoever locked him in there is good at peewee basketball. He picks a trophy out, and uses it to batter the doorknob, but has no luck. Some of the boxes fall on him, and he’s knocked out on the floor again.

Curtis and Jordan start to get busy. She asks what they’re doing, and he wonders if he has to explain. Ha-ha! She tells him it’s wrong. Curtis says what’s been going on between them has been going on for a while, and she needs to be honest. They both felt something strong and passionate, way back when she tried to slap him in the interrogation room. She doesn’t disagree.

Jason is in the hospital, and tells Monica not to call Sam. Monica promises that whatever’s wrong, they’ll fix it.

Julian says unfortunately, Alexis won’t believe anything from him now, and what they had once is gone. Alexis says it’s vanished, and the trust was just an illusion; she was duped by him the entire time. He’s only there because he’s blackmailing her, and she’ll never be taken in by him again. He says he’s telling the truth, and has always put her welfare first, despite how it’s seemed. He says there’s no way to prove it, and things are just what they are. A variation on, it is what it is. He has to go, but it’s not about Franco, and that’s all he’s saying. He tells her not to reach for a drink, but she says it’s taken her this long to get this far. Yeah, a whole two days. He tells her not to go snooping around about Franco. The second he’s gone, she looks up Elizabeth’s number on her phone.

Elizabeth doesn’t want to share much because Sam wants Franco to be guilty. Sam says there’s a warrant out for his arrest, but Elizabeth says Sam obviously has her own agenda.

Monica hopes the bloodwork will give them some answers. Tracy says that Jason was on the floor when she arrived, and she has no clue what happened.

Dillon goes to an indoor storage unit. Across the hall from where Franco is. (Ah-ha!) His note is lying on the floor – a floor that is completely bare and clean except for this yellow sheet of paper – but they don’t see it. More boxes fall, and Dillon asks if Kiki heard something, but she says no. Dillon makes a call to a friend, explaining that they’re looking for someone who disappeared, and asks about rebooting the phone if they’re able to dry it out. He wants to write down the instructions, and Kiki picks up Franco’s note to write on. It’s folded in half, but she doesn’t bother opening it to see what it is. This kind of stuff drives me nuts.

Dillon gives Kiki the instructions. He looks over what she’s written, and we can totally see through the paper to Franco’s writing. Dillon tells Kiki it’s worth a shot, and she says it’s not like they have other leads. Dillon goes into the unit to get the dehumidifier.

Jordan tells Curtis that she’s with Andre, but Curtis says deep down, she trusts him more. Andre didn’t want her to come to Baltimore with him, but she’s here. She says she’s just there because of the case. She says she was going through a confusing time, and he needs to get over himself.

Sam says that she’ll pursue this with or without Elizabeth, and asks if she’s on board or not. Elizabeth says she knows that Sam has an ugly history with Franco and legitimate reasons to hate him, but she can’t let the past influence how she treats him in this investigation. Sam says she can’t make any promises, and goes over what Franco did to her, saying she only has his word that he didn’t really rape her. Elizabeth says she’s sorry it happened. She understands, because that’s how she feels about Tom, but they have to agree that they’re looking for the truth. Sam is okay with that, as long as Elizabeth is good with whatever they find. They sit, and Elizabeth tells Sam how she found Franco’s phone. She says it had blood on it and it was wet, and Kiki is trying to dry it out.

Elizabeth calls Kiki, and Kiki tells her what she and Dillon are doing. She says she’ll meet Elizabeth at the bar. Dillon and Kiki leave the storage place. Franco hears voices, but can’t function enough to respond.

Monica tells Tracy that Jason’s fever is down and it seems like whatever he has isn’t life threatening. Tracy asks if she’s calling Sam, but Monica wants to wait on that in case it’s contagious. Tracy says she talked to the server. All Jason had was coffee, and he was fine until he collapsed. Monica wonders what brought this on so quickly. I’m a little surprised the server didn’t mention that Jason had company at the table for a while.

Julian is at Jason’s bedside. Jason asks if he’s there to see the results of his work.

Kiki arrives at the bar, and tells Elizabeth that they got the phone dried out. She wonders why Sam is there. She puts two and two together, and asks if the woman Franco suspects is someone she knows.

Alexis’s doorbell rings. It’s Diane. She says Alexis has a meeting with the bar committee tonight, and she’s there for last minute prep. She has Alexis’s statement, and has made some tweaks. She suggests they hammer out any changes. She asks Alexis if something is wrong, and Alexis says she’s just nervous. Diane has an incentive – she’s brought a bottle of wine for when they celebrate. Great.

Jason asks Julian what he slipped in the coffee. Julian says the same thing he gave himself to extend his hospital stay. He tells Jason that Winston was responsible for the car bomb. He was the intended target and Morgan was collateral damage. There was no doubt it would be pinned on Sonny, getting rid of them both. He says that now they don’t just want him and Sonny gone, but Jason and Curtis are also in jeopardy. They’ve been asking too many questions, and people could die. If he keeps going the way he’s going, Sam and his unborn child are at risk.

Sam tells Kiki that she just wants the truth, and Elizabeth says it’s cool. Dillon explains how he dried out the phone. They try to reactivate it. It starts to work, and Elizabeth grabs it.

Jordan tells Curtis his ego is out of whack and always has been. She says she may have felt something physical for him, but she was only attracted to him in that moment, and it means nothing. He says what about this moment; how is she going to explain that to herself?

Alexis tells Diane that the changes she made are astute. Diane says Alexis is an incredible lawyer, and Port Charles needs her expertise. Alexis doesn’t think she’ll practice law again, but Diane says she just has a case of stage fright. She tells Alexis to look at the committee as a jury, except she’s pleading her own case. Alexis thanks Diane for always being on her side. Diane says in a few hours, they’ll be toasting her victory.

The phone is locked. Sam says she’ll call Spinelli, but Elizabeth gets the phone open with JAKE. Dillon tells her how to retrieve the last message. All the messages they find are from Kiki and Elizabeth.

Franco finally gets himself up from the floor. He says some psycho is going to come back and kill him unless he figures something out.

Jason asks if Julian is threatening his family, but Julian says they’re on the same side. He was only getting Jason out of harm’s way. He says the bottom line is that he wants to turn the tables and get rid of them, but he needs Jason’s help. Jason asks who Winston is working for, and why they want him dead.

Jordan tells Curtis they’re here on business, and they’re going to convince Buzz to come back to Port Charles. She tells him again that she’s with Andre, and he says good luck with that. I wonder if he means the same thing I do when I say that – that all the luck in the world isn’t going to help you.

Alexis eyeballs the bottle of wine and puts it in the cupboard. She pretends to get ready, but we know she’s still thinking about it. She takes it back out and gets a glass. Her hand hovers over it with the opener for a second, but then she opens the bottle. No, Alexis! Don’t do it!

Julian asks Jason if he’ll agree to work with him. Jason says he’ll never trust him, but Julian says he doesn’t have a choice, because their lives and the lives of those they love depend on him doing the right thing.

Kiki thinks they’re wasting time. Dillon says Franco could have left on his own or someone took him. He’s brilliant! Sign that guy up for detective work.

Franco wonders how many boxes of useless crap there are. He finds more trophies. He finds one that he’s seen before.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Sonny that she knows something is wrong, Lulu talks to Doc and Laura, and Elizabeth suggests calling the police.

Random Thoughts

🌟 The girls from Star continue to soar, and are on to the next round of the talent contest. Benjamin Bratt continues to get the short end of the stick, and Queen Latifah continues to be awesome and have amazing hairdos.

☎ So much good TV, too little time, and I continue to chase around Too Close to Home. I either forget it’s on or there’s a conflict. (This should be my worst problem.) It’s worth hunting down for Heather Locklear’s wickedness alone, but the story is really good. And of course there’s Brody.

🗽 What happened to Little Women of New York (plus Jason)? I just can’t get into Atlanta, and Dallas seemed like just more of the same, even including some Atlanta girls who moved.

📍 Speaking of Atlanta, this doesn’t happen often, but my hat’s off to Phaedra from The Real Housewives of Atlanta for setting up a camp where the children from Flint, Michigan can go free of charge. She did this after the water crisis there. Portia continues to be ridiculous in looking for a baby daddy, and the more I see her, the more I like Kenya Moore.

💃 Quote from Cyndi Lauper when she was on Watch What Happens Live: Yelling jacks people up, but doesn’t do anything to show your humanity and doesn’t open someone else’s mind. I’m paraphrasing, but close enough. The discussion was about the…um…exchange of ideas that’s been going on lately. Personally, I’d love less shouting. I ditched Little Women of Atlanta over it, but I can’t exactly ditch the world.

Jan17

January 16, 2017 – Julian Presents a Challenge, Katie is Showered, Random Thoughts & MLK Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Griff tells Julian that he’s doing well. While he checks on the X-rays, Julian calls Alexis and leaves a message. He hears someone come into the room, and assuming it’s Griff, asks how things look. It’s Winston, who tells him it’s not looking very good.

Sonny thinks about his last interaction with Nell. Jason and Sam stop by. He tells them that he’s thinking about the things he has to deal with. Well, it’s not a lie.

Nell confers with Olivia, who tells her to take the rest of the day off. Nell nearly runs into Michael on her way out.

Lulu tells Robin that she’s glad Robin could stay for Maxie’s wedding part two. She gets a text, and says there’s just a minor hiccup.

Nathan asks Nina where Maxie is. Nina says they left her alone for two seconds and she disappeared. Nathan says everyone is showing up any minute, and Nina tells him the surprise is on them.

Maxie is at a ticket window. I assume at the airport, although the airport looks amazingly like GH.

Curtis sees Jordan at the MetroCourt and asks her what’s going on. She tells him about the wedding. He tells her he can help them with the case, but has to do it on his terms, and she has to do him a solid. She says her new shoes hurt, so hurry up with the explanation. He tells her that they’re moving in on the person who caused Morgan’s death, and it’s not Sonny.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam that a luxury cage is still a cage. He’s been thinking about how whoever caused Morgan’s death is still out there. Sam says no one inspected the damage at the pawn shop, and it’s owned by a dummy corporation. Sonny tells them that the trial starts soon, so they have to move fast.

Nell tells Michael about the wedding, and he says he’s there with a tux for Dante. He asks her to join him for some hot chocolate.

Nina tells the others that she did everything as planned, and acted like it was a normal day. Nathan says all of his calls to Maxie have gone to voicemail. Nina adds that everything was fine, but Lulu says apparently not. They decide to check Maxie’s computer.

Maxie asks for a flight to Portland. The desk clerk says over 30 people are on stand-by, and she’s better off going tomorrow. She explains how great Nathan is, how he’s a hot cop who speaks French, and they’re supposed to be on their honeymoon, but she needs to go someplace where her feelings won’t be judged. Hey, she sees Spinelli, but it’s not Spinelli. I’m hoping it’s because the actor got a better gig elsewhere. I’ll miss him.

Nathan finds out that Maxie ordered a car to take he to the airport.

NuSpinelli says she’s not supposed to be there. She says she was at work, but no one showed the slightest bit of sensitivity after the wedding postponement. She wants to see Georgie, but Spinelli tells her that’s not possible right now. When she asks why he’s there, he says he’s doing some work for Sam. He tells her that Ellie is taking Georgie to DisneyWorld in his absence. Maxie asks if that isn’t a milestone, and says she wanted to be the first to take her. She makes for the window again, but Spinelli asks why she’s really fleeing (his word). Maxie says that she doesn’t want to make a sad situation all about her, and is giving Nathan space. Spinelli says he thinks the last thing Nathan would want is space. He’s rented a car, and asks her to let him drive her back. He says Nathan might surprise her.

Sam says she hasn’t had a chance to talk to Julian about the picture, but he seemed genuinely worried. Sonny says he’s partly responsible for Morgan’s death. Sam leaves the room, and Sonny asks Jason how she’s doing. Jason says good, but he’s trying not to worry her. Sonny says Jason took a risk and he appreciates that. He says when it’s over, they need to have a conversation about his role in the business.

Winston tells Julian that Jason and Curtis found the office, and the boss is upset about the expense and the inconvenience. He says they’ve had enough of Jason and to get rid of him – tonight.

Curtis explains about the hidden office to Jordan, and how they’d gotten the information from Buzz. He tells her that a woman calls all the shots. Jordan asks where Buzz is, and Curtis tells her that he’s stashed somewhere safe, but the bottom line is that Sonny is innocent. Jordan says to bring Buzz in and she’ll take his statement.

Winston tells Julian to get rid of Jason. Julian says he’s not killing his daughter’s husband. Winston says up until now, he’s done everything they requested. Julian says there were no requests, he was forced, and he’s done. Griff interrupts with the X-ray results.

Sonny tells Jason there’s no one he trusts more than him. He asks if Jason doesn’t feel like this is where he belongs. Jason says he belongs with his wife and kids. Sonny asks him to just think about it. Sam comes back in and says they’d better get going. Outside, she tells Jason she heard Sonny make him another offer. She knows things change and is with him no matter what. She looks weird, and he asks what’s wrong, but she says it’s nothing.

Michael and Nell go to Perks for hot chocolate. He reminds her of how he followed her there and convinced her to stay. She tells him that staying there has lined up with some of her long-term goals.

Nathan and Dante ask the airline clerk about Maxie, but he’s hesitant to tell them anything. Nathan says it’s not official police business, but when he starts telling the story, the clerk recognizes it, and asks if he speaks French. The clerk tells him that Maxie didn’t buy a ticket, but he heard her talking about going to DisneyWorld.

Spinelli brings Maxi back to the office. She says that if she sees another wedding accessory, she’s going to freak out. Lulu and Robin hold up bouquets, and tell her welcome to her wedding day. Nina tells her that she’s marrying Nathan tonight. She asks if Spinelli knew. He says he did, and Mac is picking up Georgie and Ellie. Maxie says she doesn’t want to force Nathan down the aisle, and Lulu tells her that it was his idea. Nina says Nathan would move mountains, heaven, and earth to be with her.

Dante looks to see if any other airlines are leaving for Atlanta, because that’s where DisneyWord is. Was that a mistake, a joke, what? Unless she was making a connecting flight, she wouldn’t be going there to see Georgie either. Spinelli calls and tells them the bride has been recovered. Sounds like something out of Kill Bill.

Jordan tells Curtis that she doesn’t like the way he went about it, but appreciates his dedication, and maybe she can trust him again. She tells him to bring Buzz in, and he may be worthy of a badge again. He says her trust means a lot, but so does Buzz’s, and wonders if there’s another way.

Julian tells Griff that Winston is his driver. Winston says he thought Julian might need assistance, and Griff tells him he’s free to go. When Griff leaves, Julian tells Winston that he took an unnecessary risk, and Winston says Julian did the same with Jason. Julian says he’s tired of being prisoner of his own life. He had a good life, and lost it because of what they’ve made him do. He tells Winston that it’s not going to happen, so go ahead and kill him. He’s not letting them tear apart his family’s lives the way they’ve torn apart his. He says Winston has made it clear, now he’ll do the same. He’s done, the hell with them, and he’s telling his family everything.

Lulu makes sure all the details are in place. It’s time for Maxie to get ready.

Olivia gives Dante his tux and tells them to get ready. Nathan thanks Dante for having his back and making him feel like a part of the family. He’s honored to have him as best man. They bro hug.

Griff stops by Sonny’s place on the way to the wedding. He asks how Sonny been since he’s homebound, and if he’s found any peace. Sonny says he’s not going to excuse his lifestyle, but it’s good to know it wasn’t his fault. Griff says he’s sure it brought relief to him and Carly. Sonny says it’s helped the healing process, but Griff senses there’s something more. He says something made him go there today, and he can listen. Sonny says he slept with someone other than his wife.

Michael wants to ice skate, but Nell hesitates. She says she actually skates quite well, and could have made it into the Olympics. Coaches cost money though, and her father told her to forget about it, so she did and hasn’t skated since. Michael says he’s sorry, and she says dreams are just dreams, and not everyone can afford to follow them, which she learned at a young age. She says she’ll pass on skating, since it doesn’t have good memories. Michael says if we wallow in pain, it can affect the rest of our lives, and that we should be defined by what we do today. She should let go of the baggage that’s holding her back.

Sonny tells Griff that he was hurting and drinking after Carly left, and heard she kissed her ex. Griff asks who it is. Sonny says someone close to the family who’s getting close with Michael, so this would hurt him too. Griff says he can’t judge him for his actions, but a bunch of Hail Marys probably won’t help him. Sonny wants to know if he should tell the truth.

Winston tells Julian that letting his family know would just put them in the boss’s sights. Julian says he thought he was keeping them safe, but everything he’s been made to do has put them in harm’s way. He thinks maybe the boss should worry about him for a change. Maybe it’s time to turn on the lights. He says when that happens, he’ll be a powerful enemy. He’s done playing. Julian walks out.

Winston calls one of the temp waiters at the wedding. We saw him earlier. Olivia had questioned what he was doing there and Nell said he was a temp she’d hired because they didn’t have enough staff for the restaurant and Maxie’s wedding. I don’t think Nell has anything to do with it though – she has her own revenge storyline. Winston tells the waiter that the boss is right; Julian isn’t being cooperative, and they need to go on with the plan. The waiter gets into elevator with Olivia.

At first, I was thinking the boss is going to wreak havoc at the wedding by blowing it up or something, but that really wouldn’t get them very far. Julian isn’t going to be there and he’d totally expose them if that happened. So my next thought is, they’re going to kidnap someone? Sam?

Sam tells Jason that she just needs to take it easy. He asks if she wants to go home. She doesn’t want to miss the wedding, but says that sounds good. The elevator opens and Julian is standing there.

Maxie thanks the girls, saying she treasures all of them. They group hug.

Nell tells Michael that it’s easy to let things go when you grow up in the lap of luxury. He says that’s not fair or accurate. He tells Nell that you have to keep living and trying, and you’ll make it through. She asks how he stays so positive, and he says he doesn’t like the alternative. He says every day he makes one happy memory, so he looks forward and not back. He suggests they rent some skates.

Griff tells Sonny that there are two schools of thought: the truth will set you free, or the damage is already done. Sonny says so either he suffers in silence or bites the bullet, but he doesn’t know which to choose. Griff has to leave, and Sonny walks him to the door, thanking him for stopping by. Griff tells him to think and pray about it, and he’ll know when he knows. Griff, the great philosopher. The next Kahlil Gabran.

Jordan tells Curtis that anything less than Buzz’s statement isn’t good for her. Curtis asks if she’d be comfortable taking it outside of the station. She agrees, and he says he’ll set it up. She asks if he’s okay with this, and he says he trusts her.

Julian says he has to tell Sam something. She says she’s not up for his lies and evasions, but he says the both of them need to hear this.

Winston tells the boss that they’ll send Julian a message that he won’t be able to ignore.

Olivia is on the phone and says, you’re scaring me.

Tomorrow, maybe the surprise wedding happens, Griff asks Anna what happened, Winston says the plans are in motion, and Olivia plans to meet someone at GH.

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! Harrison! And the rest! ♫ Here on Vanderpump Isle! ♫

In her interview, Lisa says that people say that she’s obsessed with dogs, and they’re right. I knew there was a reason I liked her. Katie stops by with new SUR dress choices and Lisa picks one out. She asks Schwartz and Katie how the birthday trips went. Schwartz loved the fast cars, RV and beer, and Katie says sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. She invites Lisa to her shower, and Lisa says she’ll be by for a glass of champagne.

Scheana tells Brittany that she heard Jax was a d*ck during the trip. How this would be different from any other time, I’m not sure. In her interview, Brittany says Jax needs to shape up. Right now, her mother likes him, and she wants to keep it that way.

Lala strolls into work, and Tom asks what happened that she never showed up for Ariana’s birthday. She says she’s feeling that she doesn’t want to surround herself with people who aren’t positive and bring out the best in her. When she heard Jax was on the guest list, she got a knot in her stomach. After pointing out that she had plenty of time to say something about it, Tom tells her that he and Ariana have taken a lot of grief in sticking up for her, and she couldn’t even be bothered to answer their texts. She says she’ll be glad to pay them back for the ticket, but he says that’s not the point. Scheana joins them, and basically says the same thing. Lala says she’s sorry, and she has a gift for them if they want it. In his interview, Tom says he’s probably done with Lala forever.

Kristen hosts a comedy show at the Improv. We flash back to Ariana being offended that Kristen was horning in on her territory, and saying that she takes comedy seriously. In her interview, Kristen says that Ariana refuses to come because she might laugh. Kristen’s friend, Gabi, does a bit about an app that turns d*ck pics into classic art to “camouflage” them. In his interview, Jax thinks it’s a low blow that they used one of his pics, but I don’t know if he gets that he made a joke. In his interview, Schwartz says the pic had actually gone viral, and Tom recognized Jax’s shoes. Jax thinks he’d be a good model for sex toys. I will point out again that he’s nearly 40 years old.

Brittany brings the man behind the pic to Stassi’s attention. She’s impressed that Brittany can call out Jax’s penis in a mash-up. Brittany thought it would be nice if they’d given her a heads up and she definitely doesn’t realize she made a joke. Neither does anyone else, and I’m shocked. I’m usually not the one with a 14-year-old boy’s mentality. In her interview, Kristen says you’d be surprised how difficult they are to find, and if you google d*ck pic, all you get are old men politicians in navy blue suits. I’ll take her word for it.

Lisa isn’t thrilled with the paint colors that Katie has picked out for her dining room, saying they look more like something for a nursery. Katie tells Lisa about the comedy show, and explains the app joke. Lisa tells her that it’s like she’s speaking a different language. Katie says it’s not something she’s ever received, and Lisa says her neither, and she feels left out. Katie tells Lisa about Jax’s contribution.

Brittany is annoyed that Jax didn’t cop to the pic at first. He talks to Kristen and tells her that he didn’t appreciate it, and Brittany says she feels hurt. Stassi says the group is very forgiving, so it often doesn’t register that anything would make anyone feel weird. Kristen wonders who hasn’t seen it, and doesn’t get why Brittany doesn’t think it’s funny, because she’s one of the most dense people ever born.

They discuss Lala. Kristen thinks the only one who can actually screw Lala over is James. Lala says she can’t stand him, but he’s on her Snapchat, so Kristen can’t figure out whether the hate is true or fake. In her interview, Stassi says she knows for a fact that Lala is dating a married man, but they need James to confirm it.

Lala visits James. He asks if she wants ice cream, his new vice since giving up drinking. She tells him she’s a grown ass woman and asks if he has liquor. All he has is whiskey. She wonders what happened, since he used to pop a bottle every other second. He says he’s been working on his music, and asks why she didn’t show for Ariana’s birthday trip. Lala says she decided just before leaving that she wasn’t going. She says she spent the weekend at the Beverly Hills Hotel, but insists her mother paid for it. James wonders why he wasn’t invited over. Lala talks about a trip to Malibu and asks if he’d like to come along. They’re taking a helicopter, and he questions the way she travels. Lala is tired of everyone being on her back about her possibly getting things from being on her back. She’s shocked that none of the other girls have ever taken a private jet, saying that no girl who isn’t ugly hasn’t been on one, because that’s LA. I have no words.

James is meeting Kristen and Stassi. Even though she’s a step away from a restraining order, Kristen is willing to take one for the team, if it means screwing over Lala. In his interview, James wonders what they want, since he knows they’re not interested in socializing with him. Kristen tells him that it seems like he’s close with Lala, although Lala talks smack about him. James seems surprised, but says she has been acting strange. They discuss the married boyfriend. He tells them Lala’s boyfriend rented an amazing house for Coachella, but made everyone sign a non-disclosure agreement. They look at it online. James thinks Tom and Ariana signed it, and Stassi has her suspicions since they always defend Lala.

Brittany’s look-alike mom, Sherri, has come to visit. In his interview, Jax says there will be no sex, no drinking, no cursing, and no pooping with the door open. If I was Brittany, I’d have my mom move in. They discuss Florida. Jax says he’s never raising a family in LA, and this leads Sherri to ask if they go to church. He doesn’t like the old-world style, and Sherri suggests he come to her Pentecostal church, which he thinks is some kind of cult. Jax needs to get out more.

A mansion has been rented for Katie’s shower. Scheana has brought baby bottles of tequila for parting gifts and the buffet is $200 worth of Taco Bell. Stassi tells Scheana about the NDA, and she insists that Tom and Ariana would never have signed something like that.

In the car, Brittany suggests that she and Jax might one day have a shower. And she doesn’t mean the kind you take in the bathroom. Sherri tells Jax it would be a shame to waste Brittany’s time, and he tells her that times have changed. He points to Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. You, Jax, are no Kurt Russell. In his interview, he’s annoyed about the pressure. Ugh! I hate that I’m having to say this, but he’s right. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be making a firm commitment (or not) after a year, but now is not the time. He’s a captive audience, and it’s two against one. Okay. Now back to hating Jax.

Stassi – who is wearing difficult to explain dress with sleeves made from spaghetti strap-like strips, that I imagine are a real pita to get into – claims that Ariana is working the groomsmen situation for all it’s worth. When she wants to, she hangs out with the guys, but she’s at the shower as well. Stassi says Katie didn’t want her around for a reason. Katie is thrilled with the venue, and can’t wait to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz. Lisa arrives, which thrills her even more.

The guys go out for Mexican food. Jax tells them how he was verbally accosted the whole way there. In his interview, Schwartz thinks one day Jax will go out for something, and the next time they see him will be his mug shot. Ha-ha!

Lisa asks Sherri how she likes Jax. She says she does, and Lisa wonders if it’s enough to have him as a son-in-law. In her interview, Lisa wonders if she’s met the real Jax. I’m still stumped as to why Brittany is so enamored of him. Sherri says they have to get him to church, and Lisa thinks he’s not ready for that. She hopes he doesn’t break Brittany’s heart. Brittany says if he does, she’ll break something of his. The something we already discussed that was in the picture. Lisa thinks that should be put in the wedding vows. Katie’s mom thanks everyone for coming. Lisa says she loves Katie, and she’s a credit to her mom.

Jax talks about going back to Minnesota. He says that no one tells you that marriage is great, they only tell you not to do it. Schwartz suggests they all go to Minnesota. He says he’s not into the institution of marriage, but he wants Katie to be happy. They toast to marriage being the best new thing is Schwartz’s life.

Stassi thinks she should have waited to break up with Patrick until after the wedding. Hmm… I though he broke up with her. Lisa has brought a blow-up doll in case Katie wants to take a break after 30 years. Its name is Katie. No kidding. It’s on the box. Stassi tells Katie about the meeting with James. They ask Ariana about the NDA. She insists she never saw anything like it, but Stassi thinks she’s exhibiting all of the tell-tale signs of lying. Katie thinks Ariana is picking sides, and brings up some old Lala crap, wondering why Ariana is still defending her. Ariana says her thinking is delusional. In her interview, Stassi says Ariana can’t take responsibility for anything. Katie walks away from the conversation.

Ariana says she doesn’t think what Lala has said is cool, but she’s not killing herself over something someone said. Stassi says they’ve all gotten in fights. Ariana says actually, she’s never gotten in a fight with anyone (huh?). Stassi wonders why she’s even there, and Ariana says she cares about Katie, not Stassi. Stassi follows Katie’s footsteps and leaves the room. Pretty soon, Ariana is going to be talking to herself.

Next time, the bachelorette party, Stassi and Ariana tangle, James gets in another fight at work (yay!), and Jax wears a crown.

Extra Thoughts

🏊 Holy! They didn’t even end the previews for Vanderpump Rules before Summer House started. Or as I call it Zzzzzummer Houzzzzze. What’s really biting my butt is that they’ve moved Timber Creek Lodge to 8 p.m. This wouldn’t be so bad, except I watch something else at 8, and Bravo doesn’t rerun it until 2:30 a.m.! Is it really necessary to see the other shows three times before showing TCL a second time? BTW, Stassi should thank her lucky stars that Kyle was insulting and she got turned off. He is nobody’s idea of a good catch – or shouldn’t be anyway. He claims Montauk is like DisneyWorld for adults, and that you never know how or where you’ll wake up. First of all, those aren’t qualities that I would assign DisneyWorld, not to mention that I’m sure the city of Montauk thanks you, and secondly, no, just no. Watching these people drink makes my stomach turn.

✍ Just a footnote: I saw Ariana on Watch What Happens Live, and she mentioned that one of the girls claimed she had a superiority complex, and this is far from the truth. In watching Vanderpump Rules a second time, think of that buzzer sound when they get the question wrong on Family Feud. She acts very superior. Like she’s above it all. Constantly. I believe she thinks she’s being mature in some way, but it’s never a bad thing to be polite. Lecture over.

Quotes for MLK Day

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

 The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

 Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

                                                                                         – Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Jan5

January 4, 2017 – Memories Light the Corners of GH & a Few Random Observations

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Andre is going to hypnotize Anna and explains the process to her. He’s going to guide her to where she feels safe enough to remember what her subconscious is holding back, but can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to. He tells her everything is under her control, and she can stop it at any time.

Valentin talks to Charlotte on the phone, telling her that he has a wonderful surprise. Nina lounges in the bed next to him, caressing the red roses that are strewn about. I don’t care how bad he is, I’m in.

Finn brings Hayden some real food at the hospital (i.e. a hamburger). She’s desperate to go home.

Franco sees Elizabeth. She says hi, and he keeps walking, but runs into a cart. She tells him he doesn’t have to physically stay away from her, but he says he does.

Alexis meets with Diane at the MetroCourt. Diane has already ordered morning Bloody Marys for both of them. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right? Alexis sees the headline about Tom Baker’s murder on Diane’s tablet. She flashes back to seeing him in the dive bar. Diane asks if she’s okay, and she says she’s not.

Alexis points out that Tom was killed on the 21st, and Diane tells her that it doesn’t sound like a great loss. Alexis changes the topic to concentrating on getting her license back. Diane says 2016 was bad for a lot of people, but it’s in the rear-view mirror now. She has great faith in Alexis’s power of persuasion, second only to her own. She says it will all seem like a bad dream soon.

Valentin tells Charlotte he’ll tell her when he gets back, that’s why it’s a surprise. Nina is excited about being with Charlotte, and hopes it will be permanent. She wonders if Charlotte will be as happy as she is about it.

Nathan apologizes to Maxie for the postponement of the wedding. Maxie says no worries, she was a mess. He says he thought she looked beautiful anyway, but she tells him that he’s biased. He tells her that he loves her, and thanks her for being understanding about him still being married to Claudette. He says he’s going to fix it, but Maxie wonders how you can divorce someone who’s vanished into thin air.

Finn says it’s possible Hayden might be released today. She asks if he’s free and clear now too.

Elizabeth tells Franco that he doesn’t have to avoid her. He talks about how it’s obvious she’s unhappy with what he did, but says that she doesn’t want the past hanging over them. Seth storms in, asking why Franco is walking around free when he killed Tom.

Diane tells Alexis to focus on her community involvement and how she’s tried to get her life back on track. Alexis keeps looking at the tablet, and Diane asks her why some miscreant is so important. She tells Diane she has a confession to make, and says she was with Tom the night he was murdered.

Seth asks if Elizabeth is so blinded by her feelings, she doesn’t see who Franco is. Seth gets loud, and Obrecht comes out, asking him what he thinks he’s doing.

Finn tells Hayden his blood work still has to come back. Elizabeth walks in with the test results. Hayden says, speak of the devil, but adds that it’s just an expression.

Maxie looks online, and says Nathan can put something in the paper about divorcing Claudette, and if Claudette doesn’t protest, he can get an automatic divorce. It takes three weeks, which doesn’t thrill Maxie. She says it’s like Claudette exists to ruin their lives. He tells her one way or another, it’s going to happen. She tells him that it would be easier if they could find Claudette.

Valentin tells Nina that Charlotte loves her, but Nina says that’s as a friend. Claudette is the only mother she’s known. Nina says she’s going to support Valentin no matter what, but wonders what will happen when Claudette comes back. Valentin says she won’t.

Andre asks Anna where she is. She’s in the corridor at the WSB. She hears whistling coming from behind a door that has a light coming from under it. She walks toward the door. She opens it. She’s about to step in, and sits up, saying she can’t do it.

Nina asks how Valentin can be sure Claudette isn’t coming back. He says she hasn’t reached out in all this time, and Charlotte isn’t really her daughter; she’s Lulu’s, and Claudette knows that. Nina tells him they’ll present a united front at the hearing, and show that Charlotte will have a stable home. She’s concerned that their spontaneous wedding won’t present the picture of stability they’d like though. She says they don’t even have any pictures. Valentin says he’s a bit of a traditionalist, but they take a selfie showing their ribbon rings. She asks if he found the picture he lost, and he says no, but he’ll always have the memory.

Andre asks if Anna is okay and what she remembered. She says she opened the door, but doesn’t remember anything after that. She asks to be put under again. Andre thinks they should stop for today, but Anna is insistent. He says some part of her isn’t ready, but she says there’s nothing worse than not knowing. She says she’s about to find out the truth, and he has to help her.

Alexis tells Diane that she was at the bar when she ran into Tom. Diane asks what happened after that, but Alexis doesn’t remember. Theme for today: I don’t remember.

Obrecht asks if Seth has any proof that Franco was involved with Tom’s death. He says not yet, but he told the police everything he knows, and there were plenty of witnesses when Franco threatened Tom’s life. He leaves, and Obrecht asks what that was all about. She says she knows he was tracking Tom, but how did Seth know that? And even if he did, why go to the police? Franco says he did more than just stalk Tom.

Finn tells Hayden that her numbers are down. She asks about Finn’s numbers and he won’t say. Elizabeth says his are down too, but I’m guessing that’s only because he’s taking the injections. I’m wondering what the blip happened to Brad making up another dose of the cure.

Maxie suggests to Nathan that they go to Canada and try to track Claudette down. Nina comes in, and tells Maxie that she should be home since she’s sick. A delivery guy brings in some gorgeous white flowers. The card says “to my beautiful bride,” and Maxie says Nathan is sweet, but he tells her that he didn’t send them. Nina says she thinks they’re for her.

Maxie asks whose beautiful bride she is, and Nina says it’s complicated. She tells them about how she and Valentin ended up getting married, using the priest and the chapel when Maxie and Nathan postponed their wedding. Nathan says he’s going to call Diane and get her out of it. Nina says she doesn’t want to get out of it. Nathan insists that Valentin must have coerced her.

Andre hypnotizes Anna again. He wants her to go back to before she noticed the door. She says she was winding her watch.

Elizabeth looks at the test results, and says the drug that Finn is taking is illegal and not widely available. She asks how long he’s been taking it. Hayden explains that he’s not taking it recreationally, but to control the symptoms of the disease, and now he won’t need to take it anymore.

Franco tells Obrecht what he did wasn’t nice, but he didn’t murder Tom. She says there’s only one way to save himself – find out who really killed Tom.

Diane is concerned that Tom might have drugged Alexis or assaulted her, but Alexis says she woke up in her own bed. Diane asks if she remembers anything, and Alexis suggests that maybe nothing memorable happened. Diane tells her that it seems like she’s hiding something, and that has her worried. Alexis says when she saw the article, she remembered seeing Tom. She tells Diane about breaking her promise not to drink, and explains why she ended up at the bar. Diane says not to beat herself up about that, and Alexis thanks her for understanding. Diane thinks the only thing that will make her feel better is to get reinstated. Alexis says she’s been busy dealing with Julian, and amends that to dealing with the Julian fallout when Diane reminds her that she’s not supposed to be around him. Diane tells Alexis not to give the bar association any reason not to reinstate her.

Anna tells Andre that she’s holding the watch when she hears the whistling. Andre tells her to take it slow, remember he’s there, and that nothing can hurt her. She goes toward the door again and opens it.

Nina tells Nathan that she asked Valentin to marry her. Maxie asks if she’s out of her mind, and Nina says it’s the sanest thing she’s done in a long time. She says they’re good together, and it will be good for Charlotte. Maxie says she’s calling Lulu,and Nina tells her that Lulu already knows. Nathan compares it to Nina’s marriage to Ric, and Nina says she’s a different person now, and asks why he can’t respect her decisions. He says she’s only doing this to be a mother to Valentin’s daughter. She says yes, but she wants to be a wife to Valentin too, and wants a family of her own. Nathan asks if they love each other, and she says love is overrated, and they’ll grow to love each other. She wonders what’s so great about love anyway, since her experience with it hasn’t been very good. She says don’t tell her it was a mistake when it’s the smartest thing she’s ever done. Seriously, this might not end well, but Nina is a grown woman who runs a magazine. Nathan needs to quit treating her like she’s infirm and starts respecting her decisions.

Finn says he’ll take Hayden back to Tracy’s, but she thinks they should celebrate along with Roxie. She says they could swing by the pet store for crickets, order room service, and toast to their good fortune. He tells her to get dressed and he’ll be right back. In the hallway, he almost collapses and sits on the floor.

Nina blows Nathan off and takes the flowers into her office. Maxie tells him she left a message for Lulu, and points out what a mess this is. Nathan says he’ll be waiting with a team of lawyers when Nina comes to her senses. He thinks there’s no way it won’t end badly, and they agree to be there for her. Nathan decides to go to Canada and visit Claudette’s mom. Maxie says she’s coming with him.

Nina talks to herself about building a family with Charlotte and Valentin. She’s going to stop dreaming about the child she might have someday, and concentrate on the one she has now.

Valentin whistles as he gets dressed. He deletes Claudette as a contact on his phone.

His whistling turns into the whistling in Anna’s memory. She sees her watch smashed, and sits up. Andre tells her she’s safe. She says she remembered more. She thinks she dropped her watch because it was broken, and the face was stopped 11:05 on October 29, her birthday.

Hayden puts her cactus next to her suitcase. Finn finds some privacy for his injection. He hesitates.

Obrecht says she hopes Elizabeth is happy that Franco wants to prove himself worthy. Elizabeth asks Obrecht if she thinks he won’t do crazy things anymore, and Obrecht asks if she does.

Franco goes to the dive bar. He asks the bartender for a double shot of the truth. He shows the bartender Tom’s picture and asks who he talked to when he was there on the 21st.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Sonny that they should talk, Curtis tells someone to confess, and the bartender tells Alexis that they both know more than they’re saying about the night Tom was murdered.

👒 Little Women: Atlanta premieres tonight. While I give it a look-see once in a while, it’s not on my must see list anymore. Besides the pretty consistent fighting, throwing things, fighting, dumping things on each other, and fighting, I find it hard to take anyone named “Juicy” seriously. It’s bad enough I have to deal with “Plastic” on Little Women: LA.

🎤 Nothing new on Bravo tonight, but Andy Cohen premiered his new clubhouse on Watch What Happens Live last night. Surprise! It looks just like the old one, except a little bigger with double the audience capacity, which is now about 32 people.

🌟 I highly recommend Star, now in its regular time slot on Wednesday nights at 9 pm on FOX. The story is great (three girls trying to make it big in the Atlanta music industry), the casting is fabulous (Queen Latifah, Lenny Kravitz, Benjamin Bratt, et al), and the music – much of it original, with a few old favorites thrown in, like tonight’s Deee-Lite number – rocks. Naomi Campbell just called someone an “insolent hussy,” and it was everything. It makes me desperately want to vogue.