What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny asks if Spencer is going to be a sacrificial lamb, or is he going to sacrifice someone else?

Portia tells Curtis, it’s now or never. Is he ready? He says, is she? They don’t have to do this if she’s having any doubts. She asks if there’s any other way to let the jury know Esme bought that phone from Oz Haggerty, and he says, no, there isn’t. She says, then let’s do this.

Josslyn brings Trina a mango mocktail by the pool, and lies on the chaise next to her, saying, it’s perfect weather today. She hopes it stays like this all summer. Trina says, let’s hope she can enjoy it for more than an hour a day, and Josslyn asks if that’s a prison joke. Trina asks if it was funny, and Josslyn says, this isn’t working, is it? Trina says, don’t get her wrong. She knows she shouldn’t be spending every waking moment thinking about this verdict. She appreciates Josslyn trying to distract her, but… Josslyn says, but she’s failing miserably, and Trina says, don’t let her stop Josslyn from – she watches as Dex gets out of the pool – having a good… time.

Maxie meets Austin at the MetroCourt Gardens, and says, sorry. She thought she’d be more fashionably late than this. She was treating Spinelli to a pedicure. He asks if he should be jealous, and she says, of her or Spinelli? He asks why he would be jealous of her, and she says, what is there to be jealous of at all? Yes, she and Spinelli have a child and a history, and an eternally abiding friendship, but romantically, she’s with Austin, and she’s happy where she is. He says, that’s nice to hear, and thanks her. She says, this is where he returns the compliment, and he says, she’ll do. He’s just kidding. He kisses her, and says, me and Miss Jones, we got a thing going on.

Lucy finds Martin at Charlie’s and says, wait until he sees what she has on underneath her dress. He says, why wait? Let’s get out of here. He kisses her, and she says she loves his spontaneity and enthusiasm, but can they have a little bite to eat? She’s starving. He says, about that. Why don’t they forego the wings, finger lickin’ as they may be, and feast on mofongo in the Dominican Republic, or poutine in Toronto? She can show him her unmentionables at 10,000 feet. Lucy asks, what’s gotten into him; she likes it. But she has to admit, she’s a tad bit suspicious. He says he has to leave town, and he wants her to come with him.

Outside Oz’s hospital room, Jordan tells Rory to make sure he checks the badges of all medical personnel who have access. Portia and Curtis stop short, and do an about-face when they see Jordan and Rory, but Jordan says she was looking for them. Curtis asks if she found out anything new about that thing they talked about, and Jordan says she knows why they’re both here, and she won’t allow it.

Martin says, it’s just a pressing matter out of town that he could take care of anywhere, and he thought his lovely lady would like to be with him when he does the thing he’d rather not do here. He sits down, and says, he’s being coerced. She sits with him, and says, by whom? He says, Anna Devane, and she asks if he’s in possession of some state secrets or something. When she wrote her Guide to Port Charles, she noted that Anna can’t be too judgy about those. He says, Anna wants him to break attorney/client privilege, but Lucy says, that’s nothing. She has the perfect solution. He says, which is? and she says, you tell her no. Ta-da! Problem solved. He says, how does she, of all people, not know how coercion works? See also extortion, blackmail, putting the screws to. She says she knows how coercion works, and if she’s learned anything from being a coercee, it’s that literally the truth shall set you free. He says, not this time, and she says, whatever Anna has on him, it can’t be so bad that he can’t be a phoenix and rise above the wreckage of his life. He says he doesn’t want to rise from the wreckage, but she says, that’s what the wreckage is for. He says he doesn’t want anything to do with wreckage, and she says, okay, fine. What is it that Anna really has on him? He looks around, and says, it’s a little economic subterfuge concerning his ex-wives. She says, all of them? and he says, yes, all of them. And believe him, one by one they’re bad enough, but as a group, they make Medea look like Betty Rubble. She says she can see why he married them, and he says, if Anna rats him out, he’ll be raked over the coals, emotionally and financially. She takes his hand, and says, here’s what they’re going to do. He’s not going to back down. He’s simply going to tell his ex-wives and Anna that he’s his own man. He’s noble, and steadfast like a mountain, and he’s not going to back down – ever. Now which client does Anna want dirt on? He says, Valentin, and she says she’ll help him pack.

Austin asks Maxie, how is his self-proclaimed arch nemesis? and she says, smitten apparently. He says, no kidding, and she says, he knew about Britt? He says, Britt Westbourne? No way. Really. She asks who he thinks she was talking about, and he says, from Spinelli’s behavior he knew Spinelli had it bad for somebody, but he wouldn’t have guessed it was Britt. Britt’s great, but he’s never seen Spinelli look at her like that. She says, maybe he doesn’t know Spinelli well enough to see it, and he says, forget it. This is a waste of their valuable time together, and they’re here to discuss a plan that will probably not get Georgie to stop hating him. She says, Georgie doesn’t hate him, and he says, the last time he talked to her daughter, she asked if he knew what happens to matter when it goes into a black hole. Maxie says, she is her father’s daughter, and he says he told her that he doesn’t know; nobody knows. She said, wanna find out? Maxie says, she’s also her mother’s, and he says, kids love him. James loves him, Bailey loves him. That sweet little Leo goes out of his way to spend time with him, but Georgie… He doesn’t get it. What did he do? She says, nothing; nothing at all. She just needs to spend time with him. Which is why their pending weekend getaway is perfect. He said he found a place, right? He says he did, and gives her a brochure from a water park. She reads, family fun time, and he says, it’s got a lazy river, and a water slide. Georgie will love that because she loves swimming, and it’s got the biggest ball pit on the east coast. He thinks James might like that. She says she loves this. Is he ready? He says he thinks from a bacterial standpoint, they’ll have to sanitize the ball pit, but she says, she wasn’t asking if he was ready for biological warfare. She guesses she’s asking if he’s ready for a family.

Portia and Curtis are standing in front of Jordan, while Rory guards the door to Oz’s room. Jordan says, Portia wants to talk to this patient the moment he wakes up, but that hasn’t happened yet, and there’s no telling if, or even when it will. She’s assigned Officer Cabrera, and he’ll notify her the second Mr. Haggerty opens his eyes. Jordan says, they appreciate that, and Curtis says, they know her inquiry was off the record. They’re definitely not trying to get her in trouble. Portia says she has the discretion to assign manpower at the hospital as she sees fit, and since Mr. Haggerty appears to be the victim of a crime, and the perpetrator is yet to be caught, she can more than justify extra security for him. Curtis says he appreciates Rory being here, but he’d be more than happy to keep watch, and Portia says, she can help. She can monitor the patient. Jordan says, Oz Haggerty may be able to exonerate Trina. The person who drugged him may try again, so why don’t they want him protected?

Trina asks, who’s the hottie? and Dex waves. Trina asks if Josslyn knows him, and Josslyn says she does. Dex walks over, and Trina says, how exactly? Dex tells Josslyn, about yesterday… and she says, forget about it. He says he’d like to. Will she? Trina says, forget about what?

Spencer tells Sonny, there’s only one person responsible for escaping Spring Ridge, and it’s him. Now he has to hope, whether it’s 30 days, or 365, the people he cares about will be waiting for him when he gets out. Either way, he’s going to deal with it. Sonny says, atta boy, and Spencer says he appreciates the survival tips and the protection. Thank you. Sonny says, anything within his means, and Spencer says he really means it. It’s big of Sonny, considering Spencer called him out for intimidating Esme. Sonny says, Spencer gave quite a performance. He thought Spencer was out of his mind for a while there. Spencer says, Sonny’s not the only one. He knows there are people he hurt and pushed away while he was trying to trap Esme, and he has a lot of almonds amends to make as a result. Sonny says, as far as they go, they’re good, and Spencer says he appreciates it. Sonny’s always stood by him. Sonny says, they’re family, and Spencer says, they are. Which is why he’s hoping Sonny will do one more thing for him.

Maxie says, Austin spending a few hours with her kids is one thing, but an entire weekend is a commitment. She understands if he’s not ready to take that on yet. He says, family has always been a complicated concept for him, but he knows how important her family is to her, and he’d love the chance to see if he fits into it somehow. His phone rings, and he says he has to take this. He leaves, and Maxie looks at the brochure. A waiter comes by, and asks if she’d like a drink, or would she like to order? She says she’s not sure what her date wants… Wait. They can ask him. Austin comes back, and Maxie asks what he’d like. He says, about that. He can’t stay… He asks the waiter to give them a second, and the waiter jets. Maxie asks if it’s a work thing, and he says, ish. That was his property manager back in Pautuck. Something’s wrong with one of the cabins. She says, how bad is it that the property manager can’t handle it? and he says he doesn’t know. That’s what he aims to find out. She says, they’ll take a raincheck on lunch, but he says, it’s not just lunch. He’ll probably be gone for a couple of days. She asks if he’s saying he’s canceling the weekend with her kids.

Martin says, so Lucy agrees with him. They should just get out of Port Charles until this whole thing blows over. She says he really can’t betray Valentin; he will unleash holy hell. Martin says, is she kidding? Knowing Valentin, he’d get Martin to represent him in a case against himself. She asks what would happen if Anna tells his ex-wives what she knows, and he says, what’s worse than holy hell? She says, ex-wives with really good lawyers? Tell her about this financial subterfuge. Is it like an offshore account somewhere? He says, it’s nothing like that. There’s no stash in the Cayman Islands. Most of the money’s been spent taking care of his mother. He just thought it was better to take care of the only woman who’s ever really cared for him. Lucy says, not the only woman, and he says, so she doesn’t hate him? She says she doesn’t hate him. Please. She’s done far, far, far worse. He says, somewhere in the middle, this stopped making him feel better, and she says, and it wasn’t for the benefit of a beloved aging parent either. He says, so they’re agreed. Wither shall they go? Beach or mountains? She takes his hand, and says, anywhere with him would be absolutely divine, but she can’t come along. There’s too much to do at Deception. She’s afraid he’s going to have to be on his own, and he’ll have to wait to see her unmentionables.

Spencer says he wasn’t able to help Trina, but maybe Sonny can, and Sonny asks what he has in mind. Spencer says, if anyone can exonerate Trina, it’s Esme. He took his best shot and he missed, but he knows Sonny will do better. Sonny isn’t sure what Spencer is asking, and Spencer says, nothing illegal. His dad said Esme took off, and he was hoping Sonny could use his considerable resources to bring her back. That’s it. Sonny says, what he can do is find Esme and bring her back, but it seems to him, she’s long gone. Spencer says, Trina’s jury could come back with a guilty verdict any time now. Sonny may be her last chance. Sonny says, Spencer is facing a stint in maximum security, and his priority is Trina? and Spencer says, yeah. She’s his friend, whether she considers him one or not. Sonny asks if it will make Spencer feel more comfortable to know he’s doing everything he can for Trina, and Spencer says, he is. Sonny gets up, and tells Spencer that he has to focus on himself. They hug, and Sonny says, don’t forget head down, mouth shut.

Trina introduces herself to Dex, and asks if he’s heard about her. He says, only good things, and she says, clearly, he’s not a news junkie. He introduces himself, and says he just came by to say hi. He’ll let them get back to it. He leaves, and Trina says, he seems nice enough, but Josslyn says she doesn’t know what he seems. Trina asks, how does she… and Josslyn says, he works for Sonny. Trina says, in that case, why is he asking Josslyn to forget what happened yesterday, and what did happened yesterday?

On the phone, Dex says, there’s something he thinks they should know.

Portia says, of course (🍷) they want Mr. Haggerty protected, and who better to do that than Officer Cabrera? She’s sorry. She hasn’t been sleeping that well. Curtis says, the jury’s been deliberating, and Portia says, it’s he uncertainty of everything; it’s so unnerving. Jordan says, of course (🍷), and Portia says, their first priority is to make sure Mr. Haggerty can testify on the record, so she wants to thank Jordan and Rory. Rory says he’s happy to help, and Jordan says she needs to have a word with Portia and Curtis. She tells Rory she’ll be right back, and they step away. Curtis asks if they did something wrong, but Jordan says, not that she’s aware of. She wanted to speak to them privately because she tried to call Esme in for questioning, but unfortunately, she’s nowhere to be found. Portia says, she skipped town? and Jordan tells her, it’s hard to say, but even if Mr. Haggerty wakes up, and points fingers at Esme as the perp, it will prove challenging to bring her to justice. Curtis suggests they focus on one problem at a time. If Oz names another person of interest, it still looks good for Trina. Jordan says, assuming he wakes up. In the meantime, do something with themselves. At least leave the building and get some fresh air and sunshine. Oz Haggerty is in good hands. Rory will make sure no one gets past him.

Austen tells Maxie, whatever it is, he’s hopeful it will be over and done, and he can get back here for their weekend plans. She says she’s glad to hear that, but if for some reason he gets held up, she can always bring the kids to Pautuck. He says she doesn’t need to do that, and she says, or not. Is there something he doesn’t want her to see, or does he not want Pautuck to see her? He says she doesn’t need to make that drive, but she says, it’s not far. He says he doesn’t know how long this is going to take, but don’t waste her time. She says, it’s true her past experience in his town is somewhat checkered, but she’d really like to get to know the Pautuck he loves. He says, and he would love for her to do that. Some other time, when he’s not distracted by other people’s problems. She says, so what he’s telling her is… He says he wants to be distracted by their problems. He doesn’t want to let her down. She says, the only way he can let her down is to not be honest with her. He needs to tell her, what is this spur of the moment trip about?

In her office with Curtis, Portia says she never thought she’d be disappointed to hear Esme skipped town. Where does he think she ran off to? Europe maybe? He says, it’s possible. It’s also possible she’s still in town, and not as friendless as we thought. Portia says, she’s hiding, not confessing, and he says, getting Esme to confess was a long shot anyway. She says, let’s face it. Esme’s disappearance doesn’t have a direct effect on the case. There’s only one thing that’s going to make a damn bit of difference. Curtis says, yeah, and he’s being guarded, and she says, by Rory. He has to take a break eventually. Curtis says, and he’s likely to be replaced by another officer. Jordan is very thorough, so that room is never going to go unguarded. She says, maybe they can come up with some kind of distraction, and he says, without tipping Rory off? She says, outside distraction then, but he says, they don’t need any more outside involvement. She says, there’s got to be some way she can get around Rory and into that room, because if there isn’t, she doesn’t know what else she can do.

Sonny asks Dex if Josslyn told Trina who he met with yesterday, but Dex says he doesn’t think so; Trina would have reacted. But there’s no telling if Josslyn will say something down the line. He tried to feel her out, but she shot him down. Sonny says, that’s Josslyn, and Dex says, so he figured Sonny would want to handle it. Sonny says, Dex figured right.

Josslyn says she’s run into Dex a couple of times, and Trina says, where? Josslyn says, around. Here’s a thought – Trina and Rory. Trina says, that’s nice thought, and Josslyn suggests she say more, but Trina asks, what is there to say? Josslyn says, they just hung out again; say that. Tell her everything. Trina says, he brought her to the pool after dark, and Josslyn says she knows. Trina says, how? Josslyn helped him? Josslyn says, yes. Her mom may no longer be the owner, but the staff is still loyal to her, so is one of the other owners, and when she called, they were receptive. Trina says she was wondering how Rory pulled it off, and Josslyn asks if she at least had a good time. Trina says, they did. She thinks the best part is, she didn’t have to second guess everything that came out of his mouth, unlike Spencer. She asks if Josslyn told Cam about Spencer’s testimony, and Josslyn says, they talked about it. Trina asks if Cameron thought it was crazy that Spencer did a 180, and tried to give her an alibi, when Sonny comes by. He says, it’s great to see Trina having a good afternoon. He wants her to know that there are people pulling for her.

Austin says, there was an Incident, and Maxie asks, what kind of incident? but he doesn’t know. He didn’t get the details, but when he does, he’ll bore her with every last one. Trust him. Leaving is the last thing he wants to do. Lucy runs over, saying, hello, hello, hello, and Austin says, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. He can’t stay; he’s sorry. But have fun. He tells Maxie that he’ll call her, and gives her a kiss. Lucy asks, where goeth the good doctor? and Maxie says, Pautuck. Lucy says, what? Eww. Why? Maxie says she has no idea, and Lucy asks how long he’s going to be gone. Maxie says, a couple of days, or so he says. Lucy says she senses a bit of annoyance, which she can empathize with, because she just had an abrupt farewell to Martin. Maxie asks if they broke up, but Lucy says, it’s nothing like that, but isn’t it kind of weird this mass exodus of the men of Port Charles? Maxie asks why they’re so secretive about it, but Lucy says, Martin did actually let her in on the reason for his departure. She gathers Austin did not. Maxie shakes her head.

Martin asks Spencer how Port Charles’ finest is treating him, and Spencer says he doesn’t mean to brag, but he did get an extra blanket last night, had lunch from Kelly’s, and he’s allowed visitors. Martin says, so being a mayor’s grandson has its privileges, and Spencer says, he’s not sure he would give it a five star review, but the PCPD is a decent budget option for travelers passing through. Martin says he’s glad to see Spencer still has his sense of humor, and Spencer says, the question is, how much longer is he going to need it? 30 days?… Longer? Martin says, that’s up to him. He takes out a folder, and says he had a conversation with DA Scorpio. If Spencer names his accomplices, he’s looking at 10 days is Spring Ridge. Spencer says, if he doesn’t? and Martin says, 3 months in Pentenville; 3 very long, very difficult months. Spencer says, it could be worse, and Martin says, it will be. Pentenville will not be a good place for Spencer for many reasons, most obviously his physical safety. Spencer says he knows the risks, and Martin says, he thinks because he’s Sonny Corinthos’s nephew, he’ll be protected. He’d better hope he’s right. In the meantime, he hopes Spencer takes this deal. He slides the folder over, and says, come on. He had to pull a rabbit out of a hat for this. Ten days in Spring Ridge is practically a vacation. Spencer says he appreciates that, and Martin asks, then why the hesitation? If he doesn’t want to think about his physical safety, think about his family’s emotional well-being. Spencer says, his family will be fine, but Martin says, why put them through it in the first place, especially his grandmother? They both know what Laura would want him to do.

Jordan asks Rory how it’s going, and he says, quiet so far. She says, let’s hope it stays that way, and he says he’s ready if it doesn’t. She says, that’s what she wants to hear. She did want to speak to him about something. ADA Arden informed her that he was a spectator at Trina Robinson’s trial. He says, it was his day off, and she says, it’s clear from his interaction with Curtis and Portia, that he’s become familiar with Trina’s family, and Trina herself. He says, yes, ma’am, and she says, the patient in this room is a key witness in Trina’s case. She could have picked any other officer, but she hand-picked him because she trusts him. He thanks her, but she says, don’t thank her yet. She needs to know, is an assignment connected to Trina going to be a problem for him?

Sonny tells Dex to get Trina a drink, lunch, whatever she wants; it’s on him. Trina says, thanks, but she’s not hungry, and Sonny says, if she changes her mind, talk to Dex. He’s going to be looking after her while he talks to Josslyn. He asks if Josslyn’s got a minute, and she gets up. She walks out, and he follows. In a more private area, he says he doesn’t want her to concern herself Dex’s errand yesterday, and she says, he means the whole jury tampering thing? He says, yeah, and she says, why? So he doesn’t get in trouble? Why would she want to save him? He says he knows she wouldn’t want to save him, but he thinks she’d want to save Trina, right?

Curtis tells Portia, everything will be okay. We just need to step back and recalibrate. She says, no. We don’t; I do. She has a legit reason for going in and out of that room, but he doesn’t. She thinks it’s best that she not get him involved. She needs to do this on her own. He says, they’ve gone through this before; he has her back. She says, and she loves him for that, but if Rory wasn’t involved, and Jordan wasn’t popping up around every corner, it would be a different situation, but that’s not what’s happening. They’re talking about injecting another doctor’s patient with drugs to reverse a medically induced coma, in a fraction of the time it should be reasonably done. On top of that, his ex-wife is involved. He asks what Jordan being his ex-wife has to do with anything, and she says, Jordan knows him. She knows his ways, and Portia is already fairly positive Jordan thinks they’re up to something. At this point, she thinks it’s best if she does this on her own. He asks how she’s going to do that, and she says, because she’s a doctor, and Rory won’t stop her from walking past him and into that room. And before anyone has a chance to question her, she’ll have administered the reversal agents, and Oz Haggerty will be awake. Curtis says, or dead.

Spencer asks if Martin is playing the grandmother card. Is this about him going to prison or keeping Martin from facing Laura’s wrath? Martin says, why does he have to choose? He is Laura’s brother, and has to answer to her. If he allows Spencer to imperil his life, Martin’s life is in even more jeopardy than it already is. Spencer says, then Martin can remind his grandmother of the promise he made to her before she left; that he’s going to try his hardest to live up to her expectations. Martin says, call it a hunch, but he doesn’t think Laura expected maximum security to be part of the deal. Come on. Does Spencer really think taking the fall for this is going to afford him some sort of redemption? Spencer says, he’s rarely been held accountable for the things he’s done in his life. So now he’s taking responsibility, and being a man. Martin says, by taking the fall for somebody else; covering for a man his grandmother both despises and distrusts. Don’t look at him like that. It wasn’t that hard to figure out. Laura already told him that Victor had somebody on the inside of Spring Ridge. Spencer says, his great-uncle is trying to get him to narc on his other great-uncle. This is something straight out of Greek mythology. Martin says, so be it, Apollo. What is it going to take for Spencer to flip on his Great-Uncle Hades?

Portia says she knows a thousand things could go wrong, and Curtis says, starting with Rory. If he clocks her, it will be obvious she’s responsible for administering the shot. She says, only if he finds out, and he says, what if he does? She says, then she gets caught. He says, which means goodbye job, goodbye good reputation, goodbye medical license, and goodbye career. She says, but the reward will be worth the risk if Oz regains consciousness and exonerates Trina. Then it will all have been worth it. There’s a knock at the door, and Austin comes in. He says, the nurses station is all abuzz, and Portia says, they’re kind of in the middle of something. Is it important? Austin says he doesn’t know. There’s a uniformed police officer stationed outside of an ICU room. Is that important? You tell me. Portia says, the patient is a potential witness for a crime that’s under investigation, and he says, got you. Thanks. Now the next time he can’t find Britt or Terry, he knows who to come to for answers. Are they okay? It seems a little edgy in here. Curtis says, family issue, and Austin says, the trial. Forgive him; he’s so sorry. He guesses he was distracted by the police presence. Curtis says, they’ve had the same thing on their mind, and Austin says he sincerely hopes everything goes their way. Sorry to interrupt. He leaves, and Curtis says, it’s getting dicey. Now not just Jordan and Rory’s eyes are on them, but Austin’s. She says, everyone’s eyes are on that room, and he asks if she’s got the feeling their timing is off, but she says, if not now, when? Portia’s phone rings, and she says, it’s Diane. She answers, listens, and thanks Diane for letting her know. Curtis asks, what is it? and Portia says, Diane tried to get Trina and got her voicemail. Diane’s not sure, but she thinks the jury is close to a verdict.

Sonny says he knows he’s not Josslyn’s favorite person these days, but would she hurt Trina to get back at him? She says she’ll never forgive him for what he did to her mother, but she’s grateful for what he did for her friend.

Trina says, Dex and Josslyn are friends? and he asks if that’s what Josslyn said. Her phone chirps, and she says she’s got a message. She picks up the phone, and listens.

Spencer says, if he’s Apollo, and Uncle Victor is Hades, that makes Martin Poseidon. Martin says, that, off the top of Spencer’s head, it makes him proud. Spencer says, he is Greek, and Martin says, even so. This Greek god has a ferry to catch, so what’s it going to be, nephew? Spencer says, no deal, and Martin tells him, he was afraid Spencer would say that. Very well. Sign here. He’ll report to Pentenville in two weeks. By the way, if he needs more help thinking it through, he could always call Spencer’s daddy, or Laura. Spencer says he doesn’t need his family weighing in on this, and that includes Martin. Right now, he’s not Spencer’s Great-Uncle Martin; he’s Spencer’s lawyer. And as Martin’s client, he’s telling Martin, his mind is made up. He signs the paper.

Maxie says, maybe she’s overreacting, and Lucy says, maybe. But maybe it’s her attempt to downplay a potential red flag from someone who was heretofore red flag free, and it’s causing her emotional and spiritual dissonance. But that’s for Maxie to say, not her. Maxie signals the waiter for another drink, and says, in the middle of planning a weekend away with her kids, Austin suddenly gets a phone call from Pautuck and has to flee? What could be so important that he’d blow them off? Lucy says, she doesn’t really buy his reason? and Maxie says, he didn’t give her one. And the timing is too convenient. What if Austin is having second thoughts about their relationship?

On the phone, Austin tells Mason that he has to stop. Stop hassling him. He had to stop by work… Will he stop?… Fine. He wins. They all win. He’ll drop everything. Tell her that he’s on his way.

Rory tells Jordan, no need to stick around. He’s got it. She says she wants to believe him, but he hasn’t answered her question. Can he put his badge above his feelings for Trina Robinson?

Dex tells Sonny, sorry to interrupt, but he thinks Josslyn’s friend needs her. Josslyn thanks him, and goes back to Trina. Sonny asks, what’s going down? and Dex says, word is, the jury’s coming back soon. Sonny says, all right. They’re about to find out how strong Dex’s powers of persuasion are.

Josslyn says, what is it? and Trina says, Diane thinks there might be a verdict today. Josslyn says, did she say if it was good or bad? It doesn’t matter. Diane did an excellent job establishing reasonable doubt; the jury will do the right thing. Trina says, and what if they don’t? and Josslyn says, then they’ll appeal. Trina says, and in the meantime, she’s in prison, not on house arrest. She just… She thought she had more time. They hug.

Curtis tells Portia, he doesn’t understand. Either the jury is back or it’s not. What makes Diane so sure they’ll be back with a verdict so soon? She says, apparently, Diane has a contact at the courthouse, and the jury has decided to work through lunch, and not order dinner. He says, okay, then they will be back. He was going to suggest they sleep on this, but… She says, they don’t have time to wait any longer. If they’re going to save Trina from going to prison, she has to wake Oz up right now.  

Tomorrow, Dante asks if Cody is mad at Scotty or his mother; Britt says, what if none of the story is true; TJ is sorry to be the bearer of bad news; and Obrecht suggests Scotty didn’t know Dominique as well as he thought.

Southern Charm

Event planner Erica works with Patricia on the dog wedding, and Patricia likes that Erica is detail oriented and takes notes. Although I’m not sure how else she’d do her job. Madison is going to be maid of honor, and Venita wonders what she should wear. Madison tells her, anything fabulous. Venita says she doesn’t think they should wear fur to a dog wedding. Meanwhile, Shep and Whitney walk Little Craig and Peaches, hoping to get the dogs acquainted. Whitney says, Peaches is like a squirrel. It’s her first time on a leash. Shep says he heard Madison was going to be maid of honor, and Whitney says, Austen is the groomsmen. His mother wants him to play the Wedding March. She’s doing this because she thinks neither one of them will get married. The dogs have a better chance. Shep says, marriage is a big deal, and Whitney says, being with the same woman for eternity. Shep says, it begs the age old question of lust versus love. He doesn’t think he could do it. Whitney says, every year Ferrari comes out with a new model, and Shep says he doesn’t want to marry because he doesn’t want to get divorced. In Shep’s interview, he says, in his family, there are zero divorces. The bar is high, and if he fails at marriage, he’s failed at something. Nobody likes to fail. He tells Whitney that Taylor is fantastic, but he doesn’t know what to do. Whitney asks if she has a timeline, but Shep says, not at all. Peaches barks incessantly at another dog, and Shep says, Little Craig is in for a long one.

Friday. Olivia, Kathryn, and Taylor meet for a girls brunch. Olivia says, Marcie set her up with a date for the dog wedding. He’s a friend of Marcie and John’s. We see a clip of them telling Olivia about friend Zach, and Olivia says, Austen’s great, but she can’t figure out their relationship. Taylor says, she can’t figure out hers and Shep’s either. Austen video chats with his sister Katie, and wonders why Harry Potter can’t fix his glasses if he’s a wizard. And why is he the only one who wears glasses? Both valid points. She asks about Olivia, and Austen says, there’s something there, but he wants to continue to have fun. Katie tells him to make sure he doesn’t make his fun messy, and we flash back to Austen’s previous messiness, like the threesome. Katie tells him not to put himself in the position of cue the mess, and he thanks her for her sage wisdom. At the brunch, Kathryn says she wasn’t invited to the wedding, and in her interview, she imitates Patricia saying she’s going to host a lavish event. She says, it’s pathetic, and Taylor says, Kathryn is talking about her future mother-in-law.

Saturday – Chapter One. The cake arrives, and the topper is adorable, lifelike figurines of a French bulldog and a Pomeranian. Everyone gets ready for the event. Craig tells Paige that he sleeps better when she’s with him, and she says, all she hears is, zzzzzzz. Taylor and Shep give Little Craig a bath, and he’s the cutest thing, so small and all eyes. Olivia tells dad Gary that she’s going to a dog wedding, and Gary asks if the dogs know they’re getting married. He suggests she bring their dog along, and she says, Marcie set her up with a date. In Olivia’s interview, she says, there have been several offers of set-ups, but this is the first one she’s actually going through with. She tells Gary, it feels weird, bringing a date with Austen there, and Gary tell her to play the field. She says he’s been giving her that same advice for years. She’ll wait until her mom gets home. Patricia says she’s excited. It’s not every day your dog gets married. In Patricia’s interview, she says, it’s silly, but people love weddings and people love dogs, and it’s an excuse for a party. Madison arrives.

Chapter two. Olivia is introduced to Zach at Marcie and John’s, and in her interview, she says, considering it’s her first official blind date, she’s pleased. He’s handsome, tall, and has a great head of hair. So far, so good. They talk about pickleball, and toast to the wedding. Marcie hopes there’s a prenup. If there isn’t, Little Craig will be scoring. Shep and Taylor bring Little Craig in a limo. Little Craig farts, and Shep tells him, get it all out now. They give Little Craig marriage advice, and Shep says, do whatever you want. Taylor says, it’s going to be a long day.

Chapter Three. In Shep’s interview, he says, every girl has a syndrome Disney drilled into them, but there is no Prince Charming. The more perfect they seem, the more screwed up they are. Patricia says Peaches’ dress is better than any she had, and in her interview, she says, she was married three times. In a church, on a megayacht, and in a Fifth Avenue apartment by a Supreme Court judge. Obviously, it would be nice to see Whitney walking down the aisle, but as long as it’s a member of the family, she’s happy. Erica goes over the procession with the participants, and Little Craig heads for the pool. Shep is worried he’s going to pop the swan floatie, and runs to get him. Little Craig dodges Shep, thinking it’s a game, but Shep finally gets a leash on him. Taylor asks if Whitney is excited to be in-laws with Shep, and he says, it’s his life’s dream. Officiant Dr. Berger arrives, and Whitney does a sound check. Venita brings Charles in a tux, and Shep says, if Taylor starts crying because of a dog wedding, he doesn’t know what to do. Champagne is passed, and Madison comes out. She says, the bride is nervous, but doing great. In Austen’s interview, he says he knew this would happen when he was asked to be best man. Erica tells him that he and Madison will walk out together, and he says, it’s his nightmare to be on the altar with Madison. Erica promises it will be super sweet and fast. Marcie and John arrive with Olivia and Zach, and Austen frowns at them. He wonders who Olivia is with, and Taylor says, Olivia’s date is a handsome man.

Chapter Four.  Shep says, it’s ridiculous, but he’s here for it. He’s not even being cynical. Austen asks Olivia who her date is, and she says, Marcie set them up. Shep says, Zach seems cool, and in Austen’s interview, he says, it’s one of those things you say. You tell them you want them to date in the hopes that they really don’t. She just did what he told her to do. We flash back to three weeks ago, and Austen telling Olivia that he can’t expect her to wait around. Naomie says it seems awkward with Madison and Austen, and asks Madison, what changed? They were fine at her house. Madison says she got engaged, and we flash back to Austen making a hasty exit at Olivia’s party. Naomie says, it’s awkward around Craig now. He’s creating boundaries out of respect for Paige. In Naomie’s interview, she says, it looks insane that she wants to be friendly, but she’d thought they were cool. As they approach the house, Paige tells Craig, this is some rich people sh*t if I’ve ever seen it. Paige is the only one without a jacket, and it’s freezing. Naomie says, they’ll peer pressure someone into giving her one, and suggests Craig pony up. In Craig’s interview, he wonders what’s going through Naomie’s head that she thinks she knows what’s best for him and his girlfriend. He doesn’t think she’s getting it. She’s not respecting boundaries. Nevertheless, he gives up his jacket. It’s raining lightly, and Erica wants to try and do the ceremony before the big clouds come. Patricia asks if Little Craig is chickening out.  

Chapter Five. Appetizers are passed, and Whitney sets up, saying, his equipment is being temperamental. Erica gives everyone petals to toss when the dogs say I do. Shep wants to get the ceremony out of the way so they can start having fun. Austen asks if he’s supposed to walk slow-fashioned, and I wonder if that’s even a real phrase. The bride enters, and she’s incredibly cute in her little wedding dress. It starts to rain harder, and Patricia says, what a disaster. Austen snipes at Madison, who asks why he’s being weird. A keyboardist starts the Wedding March, and Whitney comes in on electric guitar.

Patricia walks Peaches down aisle, but Peaches doesn’t want to come. Charles jumps down from his seat, and he and Peaches sniff at one another. Shep says, it’s a last minute rejection. She’s a runaway bride. Shep grabs Peaches, and everyone applauds. Craig tells Whitney, who thought they’d ever see Madison and Austen at the altar? and in Olivia’s interview, she says she feels bad for Austen. He seems to be in a sh*t situation. But she’s just going to have fun with Jake. A producer says, his name is Zach. Shep runs to get Little Craig’s top hat, and it doesn’t get much cuter. Dr. Berger begins the ceremony, joining these canines in holy muttrimony. In Taylor’s interview, she says, Shep would probably tell the pastor to hurry up. It’s been five minutes too long. Even though they only started a minute ago. In Shep’s interview, he says he’s a let’s skip the wedding and go right to the reception kind of guy. Dr. Berger says, love, like pups, makes messes and leaves us surprises. It needs cleaning up after, and sometimes needs to get fixed, but he’s already taken care of that. In Craig’s interview, he says he’s a romantic at heart, and wants to live a rom-com life. He’s getting excited thinking about a possible wedding with Paige. Dr. Berger asks if they take each other, and if they will share toys, and not get jealous when other dogs sniff their private parts at the dog park. The petals are thrown, and the dogs seem disappointed that it’s not something edible.

Patricia says, it’s time for the reception; let them eat cake. Patricia explains the armadillo bachelor cake to Craig, and Venita says her dog is next. Olivia thanks Marcie for setting her and Jake Zach up. He’s fun, and she’s having a good time. In Craig’s interview, he says, if Austen doesn’t want to date Olivia, why does he care if she dates someone else? And if he does care, he should date her. Austen whines to Leva about Olivia bringing a date. Marcie says, she told Austen that if he didn’t make a move, someone else would. He didn’t hear her, so now he can see it. In Leva’s interview, she says, Austen is a f***ing moron. Lock her down or she’s gone. Madison sits near Austen, who is visibly uncomfortable. She says her duties are over, and Venita asks if she got any inspiration. Madison tells Austen that she was just trying to say hello, and he says, they have no reason to talk. Everything she dos is like a subtle dig at him. She asks for an example, and Austen says, when she announced she was engaged, she said the only ex that was important was her ex-husband. In Patricia’s interview, she wonders, what’s going on? Why are there altercations at a dog wedding? Austen says, Madison just can’t help it. She tries to make it look like everything is his fault; it’s the definition of gaslighting. Naomie is sitting near Craig, who jumps at the first chance to escape, and in Naomie’s interview, she says, she’s tired of the awkwardness. She doesn’t want Paige to think she’s after her boyfriend. She’s not trying to get with Craig. At least not anymore. Austen says he’s 0 for 2, and Paige tells him that Ciara is in town. Craig says, she’s sleeping on his couch.

Austen says, why not? Olivia brought a date, lumberjack chic. In Craig’s interview, he says, Austen should sit down with a therapist. To do something out of revenge probably isn’t the right thing to do. Naomie asks if she and Craig can chat casually and quickly; it’s not a big deal. They step away, and Madison tells Paige, exes always have feelings. Paige says, like they missed out? Naomie’s loss; her gain. In his interview, Craig says he’s balancing being respectful and kind to Naomie, but pulling him aside at a group event is weird. He asks what the problem is, and she asks why it’s feeling awkward. He says, it’s a respect thing. They’re not just exes; they hooked up recently. Naomie says she feels like sometimes he acts a certain way, and Craig asks if she’s insinuating he acts differently when his girlfriend is here. I don’t know why she’d think that when he acted like he was in the Witness Protection Program when Paige wasn’t even in the state. Naomie says she was in the same situation when she was dating Metul. She felt like she wasn’t allowed to interact with Craig. Craig says, that’s because she was with someone controlling as hell. She was never in his position. She left to be with a controlling a-hole who dumped her. In the meantime, her loving boyfriend moved on. She’ll never be in the same position that he is. She won’t affect his life anymore. She just won’t. He walks out, finds Paige, and says, he’s ready to go.

Next time, Kathryn thinks she and Chleb should take a break; the group stays at a Frank Lloyd Wright house; ATV and horseback riding; Shep says, it’s not a f***ing kumbaya; and Craig says, it sounds like jealousy and deflection.

🎸 Rocking Around the Clock…

Take a load off tomorrow for some soap, tea, sager wisdom than Marcie’s, and whatever earworm I’m feeling. Until then, stay safe, stay centered, and stay keeping your head down and your mouth shut. Oh wait. That’s Spencer. Never mind.