Monthly Archives: October 2015

Oct17

October 16, 2015 — Two GHs & a Whole Lotta Zs

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital – Thursday

Hayden had an MRI and fell asleep. I’ve never had one, but it looks like a good place to take a nap to me. Nobody to bother you.

Nathan gets the evening off because of the Carrrlos discovery, and he wants to pamper Maxie. How come she gets all the good ones?

Dante acts stupid toward Dillon, telling him to stay away from Lucy. They’re going to “settle it once and for all,” which makes us think they’re going to duke it out, but I’ll bet they play a round of checkers or something.

Commercial break already. I love those Snickers ads. The horseless headsman is good, but my favorite is Danny Trejo (Machete) and Steve Buscemi  in TheBrady Bunch.

Hayden doesn’t want Nicholas going with her for the MRI results; she wants to be more independent, reminding me of Herby in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Patrick is treating Sam’s sprained ankle, and she doesn’t want to tell him how she did it. I guess not, since she shouldn’t have been lurking around Windermere. It doesn’t take her long to spill that she and “Jake” are trying to find out his real identity, but she doesn’t give Patrick the details. Kissy, kissy on the examining table. Patrick, get back to work! Is Obrecht on vacation? Where has she been? Besides working on that web series.

Maxie tells Nathan about how she pissed off Valerie over the pregnancy test, and adds that Valerie and Dillon are a no. For whatever reason, Nathan thinks Dillon is hung up on Maxie. She says he’s hung up on someone, but not her.

Lucy is in the chapel giving thanks for Dante. When she finds out what really went on, she’ll be taking that thanks back. Dante doesn’t like that Dillon kissed Lucy, but Dillon says it’s no worse than what Dante did with Valerie. Touché! He says at least he has feelings for Lucy and wasn’t using her like Dante did with Valerie. Ouch! all over the place. Dillon lets fly that he knows they did more than kiss.

Nicholas walks in on Lucy, and after insulting him, she tells him that their mother, Laura, isn’t too happy about Hayden staying at Windermere. Lucy wants to know why “Jake” wants to be involved with Hayden after it didn’t work out before, especially since she doesn’t remember anything. He says she’s different now, and to be honest, he doesn’t want her to remember. That’s a first. Nicholas being honest. Lucy says he should keep his eyes open though, just in case Hayden is conning him. As she’s leaving, she tells Nicholas that nothing can bring her down. A sure sign that she’s going to be brought down pretty soon.

Elizabeth brings in Hayden’s MRI results. After apologizing for the upsetting phone call, Hayden asks Elizabeth for help with her memory. Hayden says she just gets flashes, and wonders if she’ll ever fully recover. Patrick says that the MRI doesn’t show much damage and she should have recovered her memory by now. From what I’ve read, people with amnesia usually recover pretty quickly or not at all.

Sam and “Jake” find out the files on Nicholas’s computer are encrypted. I’m not sure why they’d be surprised at that, since he’s always doing secret stuff. Sam says she has a secret weapon and knock-knock, it’s Spinelli! Or rather, The Jackal.  Spinelli says “Jake” resembles Jason. Since Sonny mistook him for Jason, is he supposed to look kind of like Jason? I don’t see it.

Patrick says he’s surprised Hayden hasn’t recovered more. Elizabeth’s eyes dart all around the room, and I laugh. Patrick says it’s dissociative amnesia, caused by trauma. He gives Hayden the name of a shrink who might be able to help. He says hypnotism might be the answer, but Hayden feels weird about that. After Patrick leaves, Elizabeth closes the door to face Hayden and act all badass.

Maxie says Nathan should tell his secret, since she told him about Dillon. Nathan says he loves and trusts her, but occasionally her good intentions get the better of her. Nathan manages to distract her with his hot self.

Dante tells Dillon that he regrets the whole Valerie thing, but he’d thought his marriage was over. This makes him sound even worse IMO, since he just reminded me how quickly he jumped to that conclusion for basically no reason. Instead of being nice about Dillon keeping his secret, no surprise, Dante acts like a jerk. Dillon says that someday Lucy will find out, even if it’s not from him. I think that day is right around the corner.

Spinelli wastes time congratulating Sam on her engagement. Spinelli breaks the code pretty easily, and they start searching for “Jake Doe.” If I were Nicholas, I wouldn’t be putting that kind of info on my computer, but I’m not Nicholas. I’m also expecting Elizabeth to walk in any second because people in Port Charles use a Star Trek transporter to get from place to place.

Dante is following Dillon around now, which probably isn’t the best idea. Lucy arrives at the police station, sees the two of them and wonders what’s up. Dillon says he’ll let Dante do the honors. Dante tells Lucy it was just an altercation about Dillon kissing her and Lucy tells him they have the green light to try for another baby.

Elizabeth says she thinks Hayden is lying about her memory, and asks her outright if she is.

Spinelli gets distracted by a favorite quote, but then finds the email trail they’re looking for.

General Hospital – Friday

Jordan is questioning Anna about Carrrlos, even though she says it’s not an interrogation.

Elizabeth stamps her foot and insists that Hayden remembers everything. Hayden responds by telling her if she wants Elizabeth’s expertise, she’ll ask for a bed pan. Snap! Elizabeth whines about how if the secret Hayden knows gets out, it will ruin her life with “Jake” and Hayden tells her she’s pretty insecure.

Spinelli finds that Nicholas was interested in “Jake’s” DNA around the time “Jake” planted the bomb on the Haunted Star and everyone found out he was working for Helena. There’s no more information other than Nicholas was comparing the DNA to someone else’s. Sam says that The Jackal, the assassin of the internet, will have to hack into the lab’s computer.

Paul says the body has been ID’d as Carrrlos, and that he’s been dead two weeks, which is right around when Duke was killed. What kind of time clock are these people going by? Two weeks? Really? More like two months. As a matter-of-fact , after being in the water this long, he should be nothing but a skeleton. We do get a Carrrlos flashback and I’m hoping for some more later. Actually, I’m hoping Ghost Carrrlos follows Anna around again. Paul tells Anna he doesn’t believe a thing Sloane said, with his fingers crossed behind his back.

Spinelli says it’s unethical to hack into the lab’s computer and he wants to set a good example for his daughter, Georgie. Sam counters by telling him it’s for justice and the greater good.

Both Michael and Tracy give Sabrrrina flowers. Michael gets all pissed at Tracy for talking to Paul. Do he and Morgan have any other emotions? Jordan calls Michael because she has some questions and wants him to come to the station. Good. Go. Sabrrrina apologizes for Michael being a d-bag and Tracy says that what he said passes for cordial in their family. When Sabrrrina doesn’t want to go for a drunk at 10 a.m., Tracy immediately guesses she’s pregnant. Because that’s the only reason a woman wouldn’t want a drink. What is wrong with these people??? Tracy says that being blunt saves a lot of time and I concur.

Sabrrina admits she’s pregnant and Tracy gets all excited about a new Quartermaine heir. She asks if Michael is excited, but Sabrrrina says she hasn’t told him yet. Tracy wants to know what she’s waiting for. Sabrrrina says she’s afraid it won’t be good news for Michael, but Tracy thinks she’s holding back. Sabrrrina says it’s because she lost baby Gabriel, but I think it’s something else.

Jordan asks Michael what he knows about Carrrlos’s murder and Patrick asks Anna to come over for pizza tonight. Anna wants something to help her sleep. She says she dreams about Duke and it’s actually comforting, but then she wakes up and feels even worse than she did before. Patrick gets this because he went through it with Robin, and thinks she should talk to someone. I don’t know if Patrick is getting kickbacks from the shrink, but this is the second time he’s promoted his “colleague” in as many days.

Hayden tells Nicholas she’s sick of Elizabeth, Jake and Sam insisting she knows some secret, and no one can give two flyings about her own sanity. Nicholas makes excuses for Elizabeth and Hayden says she wants to get a job. Does she remember what she can do? She doesn’t.

Spinelli is on board with the hacking plan. We should all know a Spinelli. I love him and wish he was still on the show full time. Spinelli says he’ll have to bring in “bigger guns.” I’m not sure what that means in nerd talk. He explains that he wants to be alone when he does it because it requires a specialized hack.

Michael says the standard “either charge me with something or let me go” and that he’s not answering squat unless his attorney’s there.

Man, I hate those ads that pop up at the bottom of the screen. It’s not bad enough we have to deal with them online. I thought the police station was on fire, since flames were suddenly in the corner.

Tracy tells Sabrrrina that the baby is a new beginning and she needs to let go of Carrrlos. When Tracy leaves, Sabrrrina flashes back to when Carrrlos stayed with her. Oooh, they’re kissing and we never saw that before. I’m right. I just know it.

Patrick asks Elizabeth what’s up with her bugging Hayden. Elizabeth says she thinks Hayden is lying about her memory and she’s afraid “Jake “ will be taken away from her. Patrick astutely suggests that eventually someone will find out who “Jake” really is and it could even be “Jake.”

Since Hayden doesn’t even know what the blip she does, Nicholas hires her to…I don’t know what.

“Jake” gets pissed off all over again at Nicholas and wants to shake him down for answers.

Oooh! Anna is down at the docks (what did I say about those docks?) and she sees Carrrlos.

Why is Sabrrrina even interested in Michael? He comes back and says, is something wrong? She tells him she’s pregnant.

Now Sam and Spinelli are down at the docks. They admit to each other that “Jake” reminds them of Jason. Yeah, there’s a big reason for that. One of my problems is that he doesn’t remind me of Jason. I like him a million times better than I did Jason. Sam and Spinelli reminisce about Jason. Spinelli has a 5 o’clock shadow, but he still looks 14. Sam says she still “feels” Jason and Spinelli suggests he might still be out there somewhere. Yep.

We end with Hayden making a mystery phone call and saying she’s “in.” I assume she means in Nicholas’s company, and “Jake” shows up, telling Nicholas he knows about the DNA test. Which I hope doesn’t screw up Spinelli’s efforts.

Z Nation

Springfield, Illinois. We open with Operation Bite Mark kicking ass and not even taking names. The zombies are way too interested in Murphy’s baby, so he tosses her to Doc, who boards a bus. Unfortunately, it’s filled with zombies who are dressed like Abe Lincoln. (It’s a look-alike festival.) Doc thinks he’s having a flashback.  He manages to escape the bus and Operation Bite Mark turns into Operation John Wilkes Booth.

Murphy kootchy-koos his baby and makes a bad Lincoln joke. Roberta says she doesn’t know whether to be worried about the baby or afraid of it. I’m guessing, like the Starchild in V, she will be the one who brings everyone together. Or at least that will be the hope. Those things never work out in practice.

10K catches a mess of trout, and while Murphy is still obsessing over his little one, the others take the opportunity to discuss getting the baby away from him. Vasquez has disappeared again, and there’s concern about that too. He’s in the woods on his walkie-talkie. What is that guy up to? At first, I thought he might be contacting Citizen Z (who we haven’t seen enough of this season) for the greater good and all that, but now I think he’s up to no good. Roberta follows him

Murphy is letting baby Lucy nurse on a finger. Not his finger, a finger he found somewhere. Doc says she needs a once-over to see if she’s healthy, but Murphy isn’t having any. He says he’s going for a walk, and tells Cassandra to make sure the others don’t follow.

Vasquez meets up with some dudes in skull masks on motorcycles. Although since he shoots one of them and now they’re beating the crap out of him, I don’t think this is who he went to meet. Now Roberta has to decide if she’s going to step in or not.

Commercial break. Poor Subway sandwiches. Now when I see them, I think about Jared, but not in a good way. Well, Tylenol recovered, maybe they can too.

The skull guys are about to execute Vasquez, but Roberta gets some shots in, Vasquez grabs a gun, and they’re able to escape, leaving the remaining skulls to be eaten by zombies. Both Vasquez and Roberta have been shot, and they find an abandoned hospital where all kinds of bodies are suddenly coming to life. They get things under control. But Vasquez isn’t looking too good. They go in search of “sutures, bandages and antibacterial anything.”

Murphy can’t catch a break because of all the zombies following the baby. The others think they should find him because they’re concerned for both his and the baby’s safety. They make a plan to allow one of them to get caught by Cassandra while the others search for Murphy.  They all run in different directions. Cassandra jumps Addy and twists her arm, making Addy scream, and making the others return.

“Of all the horrible things I’ve had to do in the apocalypse, this is probably the horriblest,” says Murphy while changing Lucy’s diaper, giving us the quote of the night.

Vasquez and Roberta try to sneak past a zombie that has no eyes, but when Roberta opens the door, the zombie hears it. Dammit! There was a commercial, I went to get some seltzer, and missed what happened with that zombie. The one time in the history of the world when there was only one commercial during the break. Vasquez is stitching up Roberta. He says she’s “being a man about it,” and she smacks him, telling him it’s a scientific fact that women can take more pain than men. Truth!

OBM seems to think that Murphy might harm Lucy, although that’s highly doubtful since he’s changing her diaper. 10K tells Doc and Addy to get ready to run. Addy wants to know why, but Doc says when someone tells him that, he just gets ready. 10K tries to reason with Cassandra, telling her she hurt Addy and blah-blah-blah, while the other two take off. 10K blocks Cassandra from running after them, and it looks like they’re going to duke it out or at least chest bump one another.

Roberta is now stitching up Vasquez. I’d be stealing myself for pain if I was him. He tells her that he was once a DEA agent. A guy tried to bribe him, he said no, and his family was kidnapped and shot in front of him. His wife was the first person he saw turned. Apparently, the group Vasquez met up with were involved with this.

Murphy finds a house where he intends to hide with Lucy. A guy comes out with a rifle, and before Murphy can say, “Excuse me, can we,” the guy shoots. No! We can’t lose Murphy!

Thank goodness. After the commercial break, it turns out the guy was shooting at the zombies behind Murphy. I guess this guy didn’t notice one of these things is not like the others. Okay, he does notice and asks Murphy why he’s “so blue.” Murphy tells him he has a vitamin deficiency. Murphy tells him he was in a group that he thought wanted to take the baby because her crying attracted zombies. It sounds like he’s going to ask them to take Lucy. Aren’t they going to notice she’s not normal???  She’s a weird color and has wonky eyes. Uh-oh, she has little pointy teeth too. The wife throws the baby back like a football. Not really, but I would have. They tell Murphy to get lost and take the baby with him

Oh man, Vasquez has died and Roberta has to give him mercy. Wait! He wasn’t dead. Geez, good thing she wasn’t any quicker with the mercy.

10K has taken a nasty blow from Cassandra, and she’s beating the ever-lovin hell out of him. They wrestle for a while, and she’s about to squash his head like a grape – like that guy in Game of Thrones – and he kills her. We can tell he isn’t happy about it, but it looked like she was going to kill him and we need more people than zombies. Or half-zombies.

Commercial break. Rock the Casbah looks awesome! I love Bill Murray! I wish he’d crash one of my parties, or at least photobomb me.

Vasquez and Roberta make it back to Doc, Addy and 10K. Addy is a little pissed that 10K killed Cassandra, but 10K says he did what he had to. He doesn’t want to feel better about it though. Murphy returns and Roberta stops him from going after 10K. Murphy says they don’t have to worry about the baby anymore and we think he killed Lucy, but she’s with the couple who Murphy has now made into half-zombies like him.

Cool.

Oct15

October 14, 2015 — Port Charles, LA Ladies & Mansions

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Paul has plans to dismantle the Corinthos organization. Good luck. I’ve wanted it dismantled for at least 10 years, but no one listens to me. Plans have been set in motion, he says. Who talks like this? Paul tells Ava that there will be some “business associates” calling her and she says to find someone else. Ava wants to wait until she has full custody of Avery before she concentrates on mob business. Paul is extremely understanding and agreeable, which is surprising. He tells her that Carly and Sonny are getting married and it will be a tough fight. Since Paul is also the DA, can’t he pull some strings?

Everyone is getting Carly ready for the wedding. One of the kids says she has a lot of hair products and doesn’t travel light. I’ll bet. She’s got so much going on with her hair-do. Highlights, lowlights, a cut that needs maintenance, and probably extensions.

Lovey dovey stuff with Dante and Lulu. Valerie tells Nathan he has a big mouth and I agree. There is no hope of keeping anything a secret in this town.

Maxie tells Dillon he needs to confront his issues. No kidding. They’re down at the docks and see a body in the water. Carrrlos, perhaps? Jordan is pumping Anna for more Carrrlos info. They might have all they need in a minute. Jordan is actually believing that Carrrlos might have shot Sonny. This ought to be good.

Yep, it’s Carrrlos floating in the river. Except I thought his wallet was in the safe deposit box. Why is it now on his dead body? Did Paul somehow dredge the body up and plant it there? That seems crazy even for this show. It’s more believable that they forgot some continuity.

Sonny and Carly exchange vows that they apparently wrote themselves. Zzzzzz….  Wait. What? Her name is really Caroline? I’m sure someone is enjoying all this, but it’s not me. Her dress is beautiful though. Just before they’re pronounced man and wife, Dante’s phone rings. You mean to tell me he couldn’t put that thing on vibrate? Dante doesn’t know how to use his phone, but manages to shut it off. Reprieve.

Maxie and Dillon go to the station to give statements. Maxie says her brain is in a fog (when isn’t It?) and Valerie tells her to take a break. Maxie wonders why Valerie is being so nice because she was in a “scratchy” mood the day before. What kind of mood is that? Does she mean sketchy? Maxie brings up the pregnancy test to Valerie and she tells Maxie that it wasn’t hers and to mind her own business.

Paul goes down to the docks to pretend to investigate. Paul suggests Carrrlos was killed because Sonny wanted revenge, but aren’t they going to be able to tell how long he’s been dead, which is like 6 months?

After they finish the ceremony, Dante miraculously turns his phone back on and finds out about Carrrlos. This whole thing pisses me off because I liked Carrrlos and I wanted him to redeem himself and end up with Sabrrrina. Now that there’s a body, that will never happen. Well ,actually, who knows? Sabrrrina, who has an absolutely gorgeous dress on, is totally freaked out. Oooh, maybe that baby is Carrrlos’s, and there was more going on at her place when he was staying there than we know. Morgan gets paranoid (no surprise) and thinks Carly is looking at him funny. Sonny doesn’t believe his idiot son is even capable of carrying out that kind of thing, and thinks Ava must be involved.

Anna shows up at Ava’s gallery. Anna accuses Ava of covering up for whoever shot Sonny. Paul calls Anna and asks her to meet him at the docks. With the docks, it’s either feast or famine. Either nobody goes there for half a year, or everyone is congregating there.

Sonny makes a joke about honeymooning in Iowa because of the corn, and I’m wondering where the real Sonny is. Sonny and Carly make out in his hospital bed.

Sabrrina tells Michael that she’s known Carrrlos most of her life and she’s not buying that he shot Sonny.

Paul tells Anna that the body was Carrrlos. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Little Women LA

The ladies and their significant others are in Hawaii for Elena’s vow renewal. I honestly don’t get why the girls are so up-in-arms about Brianna having kept her marriage a secret for 5 minutes 4 months. It wasn’t like they were all supportive about the relationship. Perhaps if they hadn’t bombarded her with negativity on a constant basis, she might have done things differently.

The island is stunning and so is the hotel. It’s the first time Tonya has seen blue water and she’s really psyched. I’m so glad Terra’s husband, Joe, is on this trip because he cracks me up. When the girls are dancing around and Terra is shaking some booty, he says, “Let’s have some jelly with that roll!” My dad used to say that, along with, “It must be jelly, cuz jam don’t shake like that.”

These girls constantly come up with wild hairstyles, and Britney has some long cornrow/braids going on that have neon pink accents. I don’t think it’s something I could rock, but more power to her.

Christy wants to do a couple’s retreat thing (how long are they staying?) and wants to include Brianna and Matt, but they haven’t shown up yet. Joe suggests they all need couples therapy instead. Jasmine’s husband couldn’t make it, so she says that she and Britney will hang out when the couples do their thing. Jasmine also lets fly some information Matt told her about Todd, that he’d said he could “have Brianna any time he wanted.” (Has he looked in the mirror and then looked at Matt?)

Tonya has set up a surfing lesson for her, Terra and Britney, in the hopes that there’s just a miscommunication between the latter two and they can reconcile their differences. It doesn’t happen. Britney says she can’t focus because there’s a shark in the water – Terra – and Terra says her surf buzz is being harshed.

After the surfing lesson, Tonya, Terra and Britney are sitting on the beach. Tonya is desperate to chill, but she says, “all these heifers want to do is fight.” For whatever reason, Terra thinks Britney is going to cause a scene. Britney doesn’t get why and neither do I. She and Elana had a misunderstanding at the beginning of the season, but they got over it, so why can’t Terra? Especially since it had nothing to do with her.

Elena is panicking because there are still details to attend to and her dress isn’t fitting quite right. I don’t see it, but she’s the one wearing it. IMO, she could wear a potato sack and look fabulous. Brianna and Matt finally show up, and Elena tells them about the couple’s retreat Christy is setting up. Jasmine stops by Brianna and Matt’s room to give them a heads up about what they were discussing earlier. Matt didn’t think it was a big deal because Todd was drunk, but Brianna says Todd has made her uncomfortable a few times. We flash back, and yep, he did.

Now Britney has added a nose ring, but I’m not too crazy about the look. While the couples do their thing (I guess it’s a one day retreat), Britney tells Jasmine how Terra told her not to come to Hawaii. I love Terra, but that was not her call.

The place where the couples go for retreating is magnificent – lush greenery and flowers, a river running through it, and waterfalls. The couples are told to find a “sacred space” and put some kind of mud paint on each other. Already Christy is arguing with Todd about how he’s doing it. She feels he’s being thoughtless and aggressive. I think the argument is really about the comment to Matt. Todd says he’s no Picasso and she feels that he’s just not putting enough thought into it, or anything else where she’s concerned. Basically, she’s feeling unloved.

Christy can’t believe everyone else is having a good time and she and Todd are fighting. The “Big Kahuna” (the therapist) comes over. Christy says she knows when Todd is doing something with his heart in it or he’s just trying to get it over with, and that he says one thing, but does another. Todd says that a lot of things Christy wants to do, he physically can’t. Christy says that Todd is over 100 pounds overweight and isn’t addressing the issue. The Kahuna speaks softly to them and makes everything okay.

Ha-ha-ha! Joe’s hair! Terra did some kind of Mohawk thing with the mud/paint. The couples reconvene, and Christy walks away. Tonya follows her and Christy explains how disappointed she is in Todd’s physical limitations. Tonya is like, you knew he was overweight when you married him, and she’s right. Tonya thinks that some of this has to do with what Todd said to Matt. I said it first. After hemming and hawing for a while, Christy finally admits that it’s a factor. Told you.

Commercial break. I like pumpkin spice lattes too, but why does everything have to be pumpkin or pumpkin spice at this time of year? I saw a funny thing online that was a fake ad for pumpkin spice scented cat litter. I’ll bet a lot of people tried to buy it.

The others are hula-ing, and I have the feeling this joyous mood is going to be broken as soon as Christy comes back. She’s really pissed off that Brianna and Todd are pissing her off. Uh-oh, Christy says she has a question. Why didn’t Brianna tell anyone – meaning her – about getting married? Brianna answers honestly that she thought they didn’t care. Brianna is keeping her cool, but Christy goes apesh*t, calls them both a-holes, and says she’s done with the friendship. Geez, even if that’s the case, she could have conveyed it a little more diplomatically.

Ha-ha! Next week, Brianna will be telling everyone that Christy went apesh*t. Again, I said it first.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshF’s car has been saran wrapped with JoshA’s logo everywhere. JoshA says that JoshF has had everything handed to him his entire life, including his clients, and he doesn’t like that JoshA is successful. Oh, I see. In JoshF’s individual interview, he says that JoshA isn’t from the area originally. That’s his beef with him.

JoshA’s brother encourages him to make time for a relationship. Last season, Josh and his girlfriend, Heather, had gotten engaged. By the end of the season, the wedding had been postponed, but they’re still living together.

These guys all drive amazing cars. It’s not so much the sportiness that I like, but the seats look unbelievably comfortable. JoshF is taking a couple of developers to look at “view property.” He says something about a billion dollars and my mind goes blank.

Frick and Frack David and James show us some awesome software that can be used to show overseas clients a walk through without having to be there. I love stuff like that. They’re still trying to unload that apartment with the ghastly view. They did have an almost offer, but the broker has to contact her buyer.

Tom Brady is the name of Heather and JoshA’s tiny Yorkie. This has nothing to do with the episode, but I love gratuitous shots of tiny dogs. And he’s in a tiny cone of shame. Josh and Heather are having a date night. He’s dreading it because he needs to discuss the relationship. She wants to have kids, and he had agreed the time was right, but now he’s afraid that he won’t be around enough because of his job. If he’s being honest, I can see his point. He doesn’t want to be the guy who just shows up every third ballgame for 15 minutes, while still working on his cell phone; he wants to be the team’s coach. She seems okay with this, so okay.

JoshF’s developers think the property is a million too expensive at $7.2 . At a subsequent lunch meeting, Josh encourages the developers to take the deal because in the long run, they’ll make a lot more than the extra million they’ll spend now. We have a deal! $518,750 is Josh’s commission. I missed my calling.

James and his wife, Valeria, are also having a night out, for their 5th anniversary. They’ve been together a total of 8 years, so James has gotten a retrospective of their time together, with photos and videos. David is babysitting, so the kids probably won’t know the difference.

I really don’t know what “chef’s kitchen” means, but it looks wonderful. OMG, another gratuitous shot of Brady in a little suit jacket.

Valeria is wearing a dress with one of those patterns that, from a distance, makes the dress look like it’s streaked with blood. Note to self: check all patterns from a distance before buying. James has rented a movie theatre and he’s showing her their home movies. Here comes David (the producers must have made him grow a beard just so we could tell them apart) and the kids bearing gifts. Awww! David skedaddles, and the kids present their mom with a dazzling diamond ring from dad.

James gets an offer for the dreadful view. It’s under asking and they want the trees replaced to the tune of 100k. He gets David and JoshF on the phone. Josh calls the seller, who says the trees aren’t his problem and gives a counter offer. There’s always one tense going back and forth deal in every episode. The broker talks to James like he’s five, but the deal is made. This is the property from when they went door knocking, so not bad.

Next week, it looks like Brian Wilson is a client. It isn’t clear whether he’s a buyer or seller.

Other shows that I find worth watching, but don’t necessarily write about:

American Horror Story: Hotel (Oh my Lady Gaga!), Intervention, Scream Queens, Hoarders or the interchangeable Hoarding: Buried Alive (I love them! I love marathons of them!), Survivor (I haven’t watched it for a while, but I’m back with Second Chance), every court show on the air.

Oct14

October 13, 2015 — GH, Temptation Tuesday, a Couch & a Charter

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Sonny says blah-blah-blah and lectures Michael and Morgan about how they’re disrespectful, and that Michael tried to take over the second Sonny was out of commission. While I agree they’re morons, I didn’t really see it that way.

Sabrrrina is pregnant and not too thrilled. I wouldn’t be either if it was Michael’s baby. And did she learn nothing from the last time? She’s nurse for goodness’ sake.

Franco and Nina go to spring Kiki out of jail. Since Nathan is Nina’s brother, she’s hoping to call in a favor, although I think it’s more for Franco than Kiki. Franco reminds Nina how he didn’t leave her on her own, even when she married Ric. Kiki comes out and says she doesn’t need their help. Right there I’d just say, okay, and leave her rot, since she turned obnoxious overnight.  Nathan says the charges have been bumped up to assault because the bottle cut the bartender, and Kiki isn’t going anywhere.

Ugh! Carly has those look-like-grey-hair highlights. Why does anyone think this looks good? Her lowlights look great, and really, that’s enough.

Michael acts like he knows all about the mob, and tells Sonny he was just trying to fill in, but Sonny says he’d better stay away from now on.

Olivia takes baby Leo to visit Dante, who helped her with the cover-up. Dante says he hopes the baby ends up looking like her and not Julian, because you know, Julian might become suspicious if he looks like Julian Jr. Julian and Alexis are out to lunch (ha-ha) and Julian says he would love to have another child. Alexis suggests they could adopt. Please, no. Later, Alexis tries to tell Olivia that Julian isn’t in the mob anymore, but Olivia isn’t believing it.

While Franco waits with Kiki for the lawyer, Nina tells Nathan about buying the apartment, and how she’s trying to be a normal person. This includes being nice, so she wants to help Kiki.

Kiki calls Franco a sad sack artist living off of his girlfriend, and he says he’s not sad. Only Roger Howarth can pull off these lines. He probably makes them up himself.

Morgan asks how Sonny is going to run “the business,” fight for Avery, and get better all at the same time. He’ll probably squeeze in another Bahamas vacation somewhere. Nobody looks that good – and tan – in the hospital. And after two major surgeries. I think he can probably handle all that. He asks what else, and they fill him in on what Ava said at the mob table.

I missed some stuff because I had to take a phone call.

Kiki is back at the apartment and goes to sleep off her hangover. Mushy stuff between Nina and Franco. She isn’t ready for things to progress yet, so they go to get something to eat, which is almost as good. I’m sure they’ll go to The Floating Rib, since it’s the only restaurant, other than the diner, that’s in Port Charles.

Felix tells Sabrrrina that she’d better tell Michael about the baby soon, because the longer she waits, the more it will look like she has something to hide. Before the phone rang, Felix was asking her if she’s sure the baby is Michael’s. What did she say???

Lucas, the gay doctor whose name I finally remembered, has been in and out (no pun intended) of various scenes, but whatever happened to his storyline? He used to be on a lot, and I loved the stuff with him, Brad and Felix, but then poof! they disappeared, and not even in a cloud of rainbow smoke.

We end with Carly taking Sonny to the chapel, where she thinks they’re going to interrupt someone else’s wedding, but really it’s going to be hers. Awww! Now what the blip is up with “Jake?”

If Loving You Is Wrong

Kelly visits Alex in the hospital. Alex brings up Travis, and Kelly says she doesn’t want to talk about it, then blabs for an hour about it. She’s working on a plan to reel him in using the theory that men want what they can’t have. Alex asks if she has any advice to get Randal to go away. Wow. Alex is thinking of moving out of town. That’s one way to get rid of him. She asks Kelly to talk to Randal, but Kelly says he wouldn’t listen.

Randal’s mother, Louise, is still inflicting her presence on his household. She accuses Marcie of being a drunk, and Marcie says that it’s because Randal made her that way. Louise says she told him he should have married someone named Ally, who had blonde hair and blue eyes. Not too much like Alex, and then she says Marcie must be on crystal meth. I she’s not aware of what someone using drugs looks like. Louise also says she’s counting the days until Randal leaves Marcie, and Marcie says she is too, along with counting the days until his mom drops dead. Apparently, Louise knows nothing about the affair, and Randal is trying to keep Marcie quiet. I’m surprised Marcie doesn’t just tell her anyway. Why is she protecting Randal when she so obviously hates him? Randal says he’ll take the couch since they’re sleeping in separate bedrooms. Marcie toddles off and Louise suggests Randal hide the knives.

Eddie gets the lowdown on Ben, who claims to have shot his own hand off, but had originally lied, saying that it happened while he was chasing a perp. The captain doesn’t want Eddie coming back to work, because he hasn’t gotten a doctor’s okay yet, after being shot in the big gang shootout. Eddie hassles Lushion under the guise of being “nice.” Lushion isn’t having any and tells him to go home. Lushion wants to investigate further into Ben’s shot up hand, but the boss tells him no. They’re covering up something. Lushion’s new partner, Pete, wants to try to get the tape of the shooting anyway, and Lushion tells him no, to stay out of it and stay away from Eddie.

Randal has a death wish, so he pops in on Brad in the shed. Brad asks why he didn’t at least have the decency to take Alex to a hotel. Randal is at least smart enough not to answer that question. He says he’s sorry, but I don’t think that’s going to make it better. Brad says Alex told him everything, and wants it confirmed by Randal. This guy wants details that nobody should hear. Brad says that with his military training, he could kill Randal just like that. He swore that after he came home from Iraq, he would never hurt anyone again, but he’s having second thoughts right now. He says he wants to drag both Randal and Alex into the shed and unleash all his fury. At least he’s honest. Randal looks just a wee bit concerned.

Eddie gives a surprise wake-up call to Ben in the hospital by whacking his injured non-hand. Ben says he changed his story because there was a video of the shooting and it sounded more believable. Eddie wants him to leave the hospital that evening and “pick up [his] drops.” I’m guessing Eddie has some drug dealing going on and Ben’s been helping him, and that’s how this all happened. And I know Eddie’s a d-bag, but does he really expect this guy to do a good job when he’s still lying in a hospital bed?

Randal, being the selfish idiot that he is, shows up in Alex’s hospital room. He tells her that he loves her and she rings for the nurse. He’s so freaking oblivious, that he just rambles on with a bunch of questions like “how you doin’?” He asks her not to shut him out and that he won’t make it without her. Good. Go away. The nurse shows up and shows him the door. Alex is concerned that if he got into her room, he’ll get in to see the baby, but the nurse assures her there’s no way. If this place is anything like General Hospital, he’s probably having tea in the ward right now. It’s already got security like GH.

Marcie sees Brad brooding outside the shed (a very popular place) and goes out to talk to him. They have a drink together, and Brad turns on the flattery. They had shared a kiss in his office after they found out about Randal and Alex, and he says he remembers it well. They commiserate a little. Brad tells her that Alex had said Randal was “bigger and better,” but she never said that, so he’s making stuff up. He had asked her if Randal was better in bed, but she’d only said, “Sometimes.” Marcie says she can’t afford to leave Randal, so she’ll just have to bite the bullet. Brad says he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. Marcie responds by getting into his lap, telling him it isn’t right, and making out with him. He carries her into the shed.

Oops! Momma Louise is looking out the window.

The People’s Couch

Funniest hour on TV! Not much to say about watching people watching TV, but to tell you to watch and enjoy. It’s like watching TV with your friends. If you’re friends were hysterically funny. It also gave the best quote of the night from Julie: Jeff Probst is really good at pretending he cares about the people on the show.

Below Deck

This is one of my favorites, I think because I would love to be a guest on this yacht. I love the water and I’m not even a water sign. Go figure.

The crew is off on their gratis resort trip, courtesy of the yacht owners. A whole 24 hours. Amy says she loves the perks, but I would want it to be just a little perkier.

Kate says the place looks like it’s from Swiss Family Robinson and she’s right. It’s quaint, and cute, and I want to be there right now.  Even for just 24 hours. Amy says she feels like she’s stuck in the middle sometimes, with Kate and Leon, and Kate and Rocky. Kate thought they were in a good place, so she’s kind of perplexed and hurt. I would be too, since both Leon and Rocky are lazy as hell, and Kate is Rocky’s boss.

They are drinking (I think) shots out of really weird little cups that look like they’re from Alice in Wonderland or maybe the 7 Dwarfs house. They make s’mores over the firepit. Dane is a drunken fool who won’t shut up about we don’t know what, because he’s incoherent.  Connie encourages Emile to hit on Rocky. I don’t know why since she’s made it very clear that she’s not interested. Dane continues to drink. Now he’s drinking out of a Mason jar.

Eddie tells him to slow his roll, but Dane gets belligerent. He starts the finger in the face stuff, and Eddie takes the bottle away. Oooh. Eddie calls Captain Lee. That’s really, really not good, especially since he’s going to have to wake the captain up. Dane is now stealing bottles from the bar, and I’m sure the captain can hear him yelling in the background. The captain wants him back on the boat. Now.

It’s 7 a.m. and Dane is on the phone, bitching to his girlfriend. Captain Lee calls him to the wheelhouse. Don’t embarrass yourself and don’t embarrass the boat are the captain’s two rules. Bad move breaking them both, Dane. He tells the captain he gets “weird vibes” from the crew. He promptly gets fired. He says he knew last night this would happen. When the crew hears of his departure, they applaud. What a disappointment that guy was.

Kate tries talking to Leon. Good luck having a civilized conversation with this guy. He was such a total a-hole last week and here he goes again. The point is not that they need to be best friends (or make friendship bracelets, as Kate says), she just wants some common courtesy. I don’t think Leon knows what that is. I understand chef’s can be moody, but he’s no Gordon Ramsey. And Gordon wouldn’t even behave this way.

Dan and Damon are the primary guests. They own some apparel company worth 200 million. They’re into “healthy foods,” and the captain doesn’t want any problems like with the last charter when Leon didn’t have the stuff he needed on board.  Of course Leon acts like a snot rag about it.

Whoa. It looks like Eddie and Rocky are texting and are going to meet in the laundry room. What?!

The girls go nuts over Dan, who I have to admit, is pretty good looking. The guests were really specific about protein shakes for breakfast and already Leon is going humana-humana. The guests go snorkeling and it looks awesome and I’m jealous. Eddie says even though they’re short-handed, it’s better without Dane.

The guests aren’t liking the scallops too much and I’m thrilled. They ask if they can get some chicken quesadillas . Eddie is in a fantastic mood. Did he and Rocky do it? OMG – Primary guest Dreamy Dan is asking for the chef. He says he thinks the scallops made him sick. At least Leon put a jacket on this time. Leon counters by saying they’ll have more seafood tomorrow, and Dan says if he even sees a prawn anywhere on the boat, he’s going to clean up the floor with Leon. Not quite, but he said he’d better not see one on his plate.

Oddly enough, this is followed by a commercial about some shrimp promotion at Red Lobster. Which is probably where Leon should work.

Amy tries to talk to Leon about taking pride in his work. Leon says he could blow the guests away with his cooking if he wanted to. Yeah, that’s the point. He doesn’t want to.

The guests have requested a romantic dinner, and even I think it’s not that special. Dan wants to talk to Leon again. I love this! Wait, I don’t love it. The guests thought the food was great and it made up for last night. Dammit!

Oooh, Eddie says he hooked up with Rocky, but what that means, I’m not sure. The term is used for everything from getting together with someone to getting busy with someone. Rocky does her mermaid act – Eddie pretends to hook a fish and she comes out of the water, much to the amusement of the guests.

At departure time, Dan hands Captain Lee a humongous wad of cash. Before he distributes the tip, the captain gives the crew a mini lecture where he says he doesn’t like the growing animosity that’s lying just below the surface with some of the crew. And he demands cooperation. The bottom line is a 15 grand tip though. The captain doesn’t mind if they have a couple of beers on their night off, but he doesn’t want them leaving the ship.

The girls find a set of hair extensions left behind by one of the guests and have a grand time with them. No surprise they’re going to have a bubble bath and it turns into bubbles from an I Love Lucy episode. This happened to me too, when I put bubble bath in a whirlpool tub once.

We end with Eddie and Rocky doing what? behind closed doors.

Oct13

October 12, 2015 — From PC to the OC to the UK

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Dillon lays a kiss on Lulu, but she’s not having it. Nicholas lays a kiss on Hayden and she’s totally having it, and more, but just as they’re getting into it, she says she remembers something. Unless she’s remembering how good he is in bed, this might not go well.  Love Hayden’s highlights! So much better than the way too light ones she had as Greenlee on AMC that made her look like she had grey hair.

Sam and “Jake” are still teetering outside the window, but they’ve moved to a balcony. Hayden thinks Nicholas might have been threatening her in the memory that’s coming through. Nicholas says that yes, he was upset with her at some point and was going to throw her off the island (Island location confirmed! Now just tell me how they get there so fast.), but they “got past it” as they always did. Apparently getting past it means getting busy, which they’re just about to do, when the two stooges outside make some noise.

Dillon says he’s trying to protect Lulu from what Dante did with Valerie, but stops short of telling her everything. Speaking of which, how many people know about that? It seems like wherever Valerie goes, she’s discussing it with someone. Now she’s talking to Jordan about it.

Morgan is playing pool at The Floating Rib (which seems to be getting a lot of play these days), when Ava drops by. As usual, he’s acting like a jerk. Ava wants Avery to know her siblings and asks Morgan to put a lid on his animosity.

Nina wants to redecorate and Kiki gets weird about that, saying Nina is erasing all the memories of Silas. Maybe she shouldn’t live with them or keep her opinions to herself. Who wants to move into a dead guy’s place and not redecorate? This isn’t The Tenant. Kiki is also acting like a jerk, but she’s a lot more amusing. She wants to move out and take all of Silas’s stuff with her. I think that’s a great idea and so does Nina, but Franco doesn’t agree with us.

Lulu thinks Dillon is just making stuff up and gets really p.o.’d. She says she’s happy and he needs to back off.

Jordan has a talk with Dante. She points out that Dante is Valerie’s superior, which I hadn’t thought of before. If Valerie wanted to, she could create a problem for him at work. Valerie breaks into the conference and says after what happened with the pregnancy test, she’s sure there’s nothing between them anymore. Yeah, right.

Lulu tells Dante that Dillon kissed her. Valerie shows up at Dillon’s studio or wherever it is they’re filming, and wants a buddy to talk to, but when she doesn’t want a drink, Dillon thinks she is pregnant. Because that’s the only reason a woman wouldn’t want a drink.

Ava asks Morgan for help with Kiki. She sees that Kiki’s hate is eating her alive and she’s only harming herself. Ava thinks that maybe Morgan can get through to her. Why?

Nina tells Franco that she’s only been with one man, Silas. When he asks about Ric, she says she never even kissed him.

Sam thinks she has a sprained ankle, so “Jake” carries her down the castle wall like King Kong. Not really, but that would have been cool. He carries her inside and at this point, I have no idea what their proximity is to Nicholas and Hayden. Nicholas checks out on the balcony and says “Goliath,” Spencer’s favorite gargoyle, has fallen. Hayden suggests the prince’s castle is crumbling around him. Good job, “Jake” and Sam.

Commerical break. Why does the Little People Musical Dancing Palace only have one prince to three princesses?

Dante gets steamed about the Dillon/Lulu kiss, even though she says she didn’t really participate. I think he’s more concerned about what Dillon might have said about him and Valerie. Lulu says she told Dillon that the “just one kiss” was no big deal and she shouldn’t have gone so crazy over it. This just gets worse every second and I love it.

Kiki shows up at the bar, half tells off Morgan and Ava, and starts to get her drink on. She ends up throwing a drink in Ava’s face and the bartender cuts her off. She reaches over the bar for the vodka bottle and after a quick wrestle with the bartender, it drops and breaks. Kiki looks horrified at herself. The cops show up and arrest her. She’s doing pretty well playing a drunk, but once again the director went to the bathroom during the scene. No one tosses back a large vodka shot like it’s really water, even if it is.

Franco and Nina are about to put another man on her list when the phone rings. It’s Kiki’s phone, but it’s Morgan calling to tell Franco what’s happened.

Valerie ends up having a drink (thank you for making it look like a drink) with Dillon and they toast to their friendship and the people who they love who will never love them back. Even though Valerie feels nothing for Dante.

Hayden and Nicholas’s romantic moment has been interrupted by the gargoyle fall, and she says they’ve been moving too fast. She wants to recover mentally before they rekindle their relationship. She makes a few faces when she’s alone in the hallway that make me wonder if she remembers more than she’s saying.

“Jake” and Sam leave the room they’re in without even checking around. Maybe these two need new professions.

The Real Housewives of the OC

The show hasn’t even started yet, and Meghan is whining about husband Jim only being in the OC 50% of the time. She knew that when she married him. Did she forget? I wouldn’t be surprised. She says it’s a lot harder than she thought it would be and she doesn’t like it. Wah-wah.

Tamra is getting baptized. Good thing God accepts us as we are. Heather says she thinks Tamra is ready for a fresh start. Me too, but I don’t see much evidence of it. Tamra is talking about change and how everyone is going to see a new side of her. I’ll believe this when I see her walking the walk; talk is cheap. Cool. The mini choir is singing a song I know about the blood of Jesus (I sang in a Christian band for a couple of years) and they’re totally rocking it. Tamra says she found the Lord when she was going through her difficulties with her ex (who was a controlling creep), and now her mess is her message. I hope Tamra’s serious about this. After she gets dunked, the choir sings “Amazing Grace,” and everyone is all happy. This won’t last long.

I hate it with a passion when  someone changes what I’ve said to suit themselves. As much as I love Shannon, I think she has a listening problem. She’s afraid to see Vicki because she doesn’t want Vicki to call her “disgusting” again. Except Vicki never said that. She said Shannon’s remarks were disgusting. That’s two different things. Heaving huge sigh.

Commerical break. This is really weird. It’s an ad for the new Bradley Cooper movie, Burnt (which looks excellent), and they’re interspersing it with clips from the OC Wives. Why? Are they in it? Worst. Co-branding. Ever.

The food looks amazing! Geez, at my baptism, we just had cookies and coffee. Ha-ha! There’s a devil’s food and angel food cake. Vicki is avoiding the other women because she wants the day to be about Tamra and not have conflict. How long do you think this could possibly last? Some of the Wives from past seasons are there too. I agree with Vicki that she’s been more than a good friend to Shannon, and Shannon hasn’t exactly returned the favor.

These women just can’t seem to stop themselves from blabbing about Brooks. The latest story is that he claimed to call Heather’s husband, Terry, after his first chemo treatment, and Terry called a colleague to go help him. Terry says not so. Heather wonders how they could lie about something “so traceable,” and I do too. That’s the part I never get. You’d think if Brooks is a con man, he’d be better at it.

Commerical break. More coolness. Tootie from The Facts of Life is going to be on the next season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Move over, Nene. Oh, that’s right, you’re not there anymore. Are you doing anything now?

Vicki’s brother, Billy, is discussing Brooks with the women sans Vicki. Vicki claims she has another party to go to and wants to leave. Of course Heather is trying to stop her and brings up the Terry story. Vicki tells her she doesn’t have a clue about it. Shannon is going on and on about how Vicki asked her for help, but then didn’t take it. Shannon doesn’t seem to get it. When a friend tells you to stop talking about something, you should stop talking about it. I have a friend who is very sweet, but has the emotional level of a 10-year-old. When you ask him not to bring something up, it’s all he can talk about, and it reminds me of this bunch. Oooh, snap! Billy’s girlfriend, Ronda, says something about how Vicki didn’t ask Shannon for records about her husband cheating. Shannon claims Vicki must have put her up to it. Highly doubtful. She’s just defending her boyfriend’s sister.

Shannon goes apesh*t on Vicki. Maybe Ronda shouldn’t have said anything, but I don’t think it’s out of line for Vicki to have told her brother and Ronda, especially since by then, everyone else knew. Vicki says Shannon was pushing and pushing, and got what she deserved. Poor Vicki just wants to get out of there, but Tamra and the pastor hunt her down like a dog and want her to talk it out with Shannon. Everyone seems to have forgotten too, that Vicki’s mother recently passed away and she’s still depressed about it. IMO, these aren’t friends. Shannon confronts Vicki, and Vicki reminds her about the first season, when Shannon was somewhat ostracized and Vicki stuck by her.

Heather just said you can’t talk about someone’s business without their permission; it’s not cool. Um….

Tamra follows Vicki to the limo and tells her about Meghan calling the imaging place about the PET scan and they claimed not to do those there. It’s funny how these women claim they don’t want drama, yet they’re the ones who bring it on all the time. Funny too, how Heather says Shannon’s accident with the colonic wouldn’t happen to her. Maybe not, but she is the one who bled all over the place at Tamra’s last party because she had leeches duct taped to her stomach. At that point, she lost about 50% of her credibility with me.

This was the finale, so they had the little blurbs at the end about what everyone is doing now. Brooks and Vicki broke up (again), but I already knew that. Meghan went on and on about living by the truth and I gagged. Shannon lost 15 pounds and Brooks wants to see the records, which is pretty funny. The rest was just mundane stuff, but Heather, who was last, talked about how they really love Vicki and all this forgive and move on stuff. Here’s how I’ve felt about this season. I don’t know if Brooks is lying, although I can think of legitimate reasons for everything they’ve questioned. I took a look at the imaging place online too, and it says they do PET scans. (I’m not the only one who did this either, so at least I don’t feel alone in my ridiculousness.) If they really did tell Meghan (we never see any “records” of the snooping she’s done either) that they’d send you to the hospital, it’s possible they do the imaging, but use the hospital’s facility. But I don’t think whether he’s lying or not really matters. What matters is that, for caring friends, they didn’t handle this well. Maybe none of them have lost a parent they were close to, but I have and I know what Vicki is going through. I highly doubt she’d participate in a lie, and if she’s just being delusional, maybe she needs that right now, so leave her the blip alone. They should have been supportive and understanding and just stopped talking about it. Instead, they were relentless in their quest to prove Brooks a liar and overwhelmed her even more than she was already.

The reunion ought to be a good one.

Ladies of London

Marissa is meeting Annabelle. She’s brought some hats with her restaurant logo and wants Annabelle’s advice. I just don’t like Marissa. Something about her doesn’t sit well with me. She seems kind of phony. Like how she just went on about how their friendship is “organic,” and in the next breath, gushes about how Annabelle is a super famous fashion model. I wouldn’t know. I get the feeling she’s a sycophant.

Caroline #1’s business is not doing well. She’s got a balloon payment coming up on her store loan, due on the 31st, less than a month away. It sounds like she might have to fire people, which, unless you’re a really nasty human being, nobody wants to do. For all her stoicism and sarcasm, I think she’s a softy underneath in a lot of ways. She also has friends coming in from America. A famous gay football player, but I didn’t catch his name (Michael something or other) and I know nothing about football, only vaguely remembering when he came out. His partner and kids are with him. The last thing Caroline #1 wants to do is entertain, but it’s their first time in the UK and she feels obligated.

Annabelle is writing her fourth children’s book. Each one is about a different characteristic – Angry Me, Messy Me, and Dreamy Me. They look very cute and beneficial to kids.

Julie is going to her husband’s cousin’s estate because she wants to learn how to run her husband’s family home, Mapperton. He’s the Earl of Sandwich (I’m not kidding) and like billionth in line for the throne. The upkeep for an estate is very expensive, and some people have tours or rent the place out for weddings and such to get capital.

Caroline #1 takes her guests on a field trip – a bus tour of London. The bus looks like a ship. That’s different.  Oh wow! It really goes on the water. I’ve never seen anything like it. I want one.

The Baroness (Caroline #2) meets with Julie and Annabelle for lunch, where they discuss Juliet. The Baroness wants to help Juliet connect with her feelings or something, and Julie says good luck with that. The Baroness invites Juliet over to cook dinner together. It turns out she’s written a few cookbooks. Juliet gets the Baroness’s point that if she talked less and reacted less, people would have less to talk about.

The ladies are going bowling. Juliet says the Midwest and bowling go hand in hand. I dunno. I was never very good at bowling and thought it was kind of boring. I think my high score was a 68. Juliet has gotten them all bowling shirts – I do love a bowling shirt – with their nicknames on them. She also passes out wigs, but I don’t know what’s up with that. Joan Collins Sophie thinks bowling is fun. I feel out of this loop. Okay, they bring out the champagne and that I’m down with.

Uh-oh, Marissa makes a stupid remark about “lock up your children” in regard to the Baroness, who is dating a 30-year-old. Marissa also says he’s a bit of a d-bag in her individual interview. Oh man, she said the Baroness likes little boys. Is she drunk? Caroline #1 says that it’s really uncool to cross the Baroness. Good. Because I like the Baroness and I don’t like Marissa.

Julie and Juliet make up. Caroline #1 says Juliet is like an annoying sister and Julie says that there’s something weird about her that she likes. I like her too. She’s emotional, but fun.

Looks like there will be a sit down with Marissa and the Baroness next week.

Oct12

October 11, 2015 — Once Upon the Dead in New Jersey

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon A Time

The dwarfs, who are really just short guys with names like Leroy, are whistling while they work and Dark Emma steals one of their pickaxes. They report it at the police department where Prince Charming, otherwise known as David, works as sheriff.  King Arthur arrives next. Apparently his magic beans have gone missing.

Dark Emma tries to remove Excalibur from the stone by hitting it with the ax, which sounds more ridiculous than the previous paragraph. Of course it doesn’t work and Rumpelstiltskin has to explain things to her all over again.

Back in Camelot, Regina is working on some magic to release Merlin, the Wicked Witch of the West is working on being an annoyance, and Prince Charming is checking out the round table. Contrary to the original Camelot story, King Arthur got back together with Guinevere after the Lancelot scandal. David tells him that he and Snow had met Lancelot, but alas, Lance is dead. A page delivers a chest with “the eternal flame” in it, but in Storybrook, the chest has been pilfered. Captain Hook and Robin Hood are chatting in the diner. When Hook’s takeout order comes, there’s a note from Dark Emma attached to it, asking him to meet her on his ship.

Magic comes in handy, as Dark Emma sets the table for lunch in under a second. She also makes herself appear like Good Emma, so Hook is more comfortable. She tells him he can trust her, which really means he’d better keep his mouth shut about everything.

The prince and the king go to Rumpel’s pawn shop where Belle is behind the desk. Rumpel is ill and she needs one more thing for a healing spell. The prince buys a chalice left over from Doc’s birthday party and passes it off as the Chalice of Something-or-Other to the Camelot people who are stuck in Storybrook. He tells them if they drink from it, it will reveal the thief. A guy In a Red Riding Hood cape takes off like a rocket. In the real Camelot, it makes me think of Monty Python again when the prince and king have a sword fight with a couple of phantom knights.

Dark Emma says “trust me” to Hook again, so you know now he definitely shouldn’t trust her. She claims she’s a better Emma now and wants to move forward with their relationship. Hook isn’t having any, and wants to know what it is she’s really after. Dark Emma disappears, poof! in a puff of dark smoke.

David and Arthur catch up to the thief, who claims there were no magic beans in the chest. They do find a magic mushroom (no, not that kind) that Regina thinks can help Merlin. In the real Camelot, David is knighted by Arthur and given Lancelot’s old chair. It has something hanging off of it that looks like this thing we had to wear over our robes at my high school graduation. Whoops! Lancelot isn’t dead after all and approaches Snow on the castle porch. He tells her there’s a villain in town, and Snow thinks he’s talking about Dark Emma, but he tells her it’s Arthur.

Commercial break. Why does there have to be so much good TV? Blood & Oil looks great, but it’s on during The Walking Dead time slot.

Guinevere, dazzling in an incredible dress and jewelry, ponders the magic mushroom with Arthur. In Storybrook, the thief is in jail, but it turns out he was working for Arthur and there were never any magic beans. Arthur made It up to get his people stuck in Storybrook, to trust him. Although I don’t know how that was supposed to work. He gives the thief some poison to drink because he’s afraid the non-magic beans will be spilled. He says it’s for the greater good, the thief drinks it, and poof! he disappears in a puff of green smoke.

Storybrook Rumpel has vanished and is with Fantasyland Rumple and Dark Emma. She tells him he’s not dark or light; he’s nothing. Ouch! Because his heart is a “blank slate,” she says he’ll be useful and she has a job for him. I don’t suppose it’s pulling out Excalibur either.

The Walking Dead

While I’m glad to see this show back again, it’s really good of them to make it an hour and a half tonight, so that it messes up my schedule.

When we last left Rick and company, they were in Alexandria and Rick was going bonkers after questionably shooting one of the residents. Outside of the town, a zombie horde is growing in a canyon. Some of the zombies are looking mighty raggedy since they’ve been wandering around for six seasons now.

Daryl!

Morgan admits he was an idiot and that Rick was right. Rick, Daryl and Morgan make a plan to take care of the zombie horde. Apparently, in order to confuse me, half of this episode is in flashbacks and also in black and white. I thought there was something wrong with my TV.

Of all people, Eugene is guarding the gate at Alexandria. Oh, okay, he’s doing it while the real guard is taking a pee or something. A guy named Heath shows up with a group of people and says they live in Alexandria, but they’ve been away on a run. Morgan and Rick are burying the guy Rick shot last season in the woods when they get a load of the zombie horde from the top of a cliff. It’s a seriously freaking huge amount of zombies. Ron (the son of the guy they’re burying) followed them and is being chased by some zombies. Just as he’s about to run off the cliff, Rick shoves him aside and in an uncharacteristically funny moment, the zombies who were chasing him keep going and fall off the cliff. Rick tells Morgan that the reason Alexandria doesn’t have too many zombies showing up is because they’re all in this canyon.

Glenn (who looks like he had a nose job) and Heath go with another guy to a tractor supply place where there are a bunch of zombies inside

Commercial break. OMG, it’s Obrecht from GH in an ad for…I don’t know what. Dammit! The one commercial I want to see again and they’ll probably never rerun it. This was followed by the best anti-smoking commercial yet, focused on the monetary expense. I guess Better Call Saul got renewed too. I kind of lost track of it after the first few episodes, but it was a lot better, and funnier, than I expected it to be.

There’s a big meeting about how they’re going to deal with the zombies. I guess Rick is in charge now because Deanna keeps saying he’s right about everything. Father Gabriel offers to help and Rick be like, no way, padre. That gets my vote too. That guy cannot be trusted. I don’t trust Carter either, who questions everything Rick says.

Daryl leads the horde to where there’s a makeshift wall made out of metal. Maybe they won’t have to do anything since the zombies are banging their own heads against it and stepping all over each other. Kind of like Times Square on New Year’s Eve. I guess the black and white thing is to differentiate between the flashbacks and what’s happening now. I would have titled this episode “We’re Not in Kansas Anymore,” but it’s titled “First Time Again.”

Glenn, Heath and Other Guy kill all the zombies at the tractor place. Abraham, in a car with Sasha, notices some walkers who are off track and jumps out to point them in the right direction. He’s covered with blood when he gets back in the car, talking about the possibility of brains getting in his ear, and I’m wondering if he’s going to be the “surprise” guest on The Talking Dead.

Rick tells Deanna that they need to train and arm everyone inside Alexandria. I think they’d better train someone in the art of bullet making before they run out. It’s not like they can drive over to Walmart.

Carter is making plans to get rid of Rick, and Eugene overhears him. Carter is thisclose to shooting Eugene, but Rick comes in just in time. He spares Carter after giving him a mini lecture. Rick tells Morgan he wanted to kill Carter, but figures Carter is stupid enough to get killed on his own.

And he’s right! Carter gets bit in the face when he veers from the zombie horde plan. Now I figure he’s the surprise guest. Rick also gets his wish, and breaks Carter’s neck. Shouldn’t somebody shoot him in the head?

Commercial break. They showed another installment of the Obrecht ad. It’s a web series companion to Fear the Walking Dead called Flight 462. I’ll have to check that out. Jurassic World is also coming out on blue ray. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. Just make sure to forget anything you know about real dinosaurs or science while you’re watching it.

WTF? Something that sounds like a fog horn is going off and the zombies are changing course. Carter is dead, so what idiot is doing this? Gabriel? It wouldn’t be the first time someone named Gabriel blew a horn. Ha-ha! Great. Ten billion zombies are now headed to Alexandria.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

This episode revolves around the Guidice family and how they’re coping with Teresa in prison. Joe’s father has passed away and Gia, who is turning out to be a beautiful young lady, has a big dance coming up. The latter might not seem like a huge deal, but it’s one of those times where she’s going to miss her mom.

Teresa gets 300 minutes a month for phone calls, but can send unlimited emails. The inmates don’t have access to the internet, so I’m guessing it must go into a “waiting to be sent” file until it can be approved.

During one of Teresa’s phone calls home, her parents are there as well. I wonder how hard it is for them not to wring Joe’s neck. It’s tough for Gia to talk to her mom without crying and this upsets her grandfather greatly. The whole thing is really sad. I know Joe and Teresa aren’t the brightest or nicest bulbs in the box, and they did commit a crime (although I roll my eyes at the level of it), but I honestly think the judge wanted to make an example out of them because they’re C-list celebrities. That rubs me the wrong way. After spending so many years with them too, I feel the same way I’d feel about annoying cousins that you have to invite to Thanksgiving. You love them, but at a distance.

The youngest daughter was told that Teresa is working, which Gia says isn’t totally a lie because she’s keeping a diary that she’ll turn into a book later. I’ll definitely want to read that. What’s really funny is that Teresa is still running the show at home by giving everyone instructions. I hope she realizes that, although she doesn’t get any preferential treatment, the prison in Danbury isn’t considered all that bad. I have a friend who’s been in federal prison in New Jersey, and it’s a nasty place to be.

Joe says something about how it’s part of a father’s job to embarrass their teenage daughter and that reminds me of my father. Don’t get me wrong, he was the greatest man on the planet, but if I let him know something was embarrassing, he’d work harder at it.

Gia looks absolutely gorgeous and has almost ruined her makeup ten times because she wants to cry.

Joe and his brother visit their father’s grave site and it makes me want to cry. Despite Joe being an idiot, I know what he’s feeling.

Rosie comes over! I love Rosie. They joke about Joe getting a boyfriend in prison, but that’s not really very funny. He’s only allowed to visit Teresa every other weekend because he’s a felon. She’ll be getting out before Christmas and in March it’s his turn. Joe and Rosie laugh a lot, and I have to hand it to Joe for being able to laugh at all.

Next it’s Gia’s graduation from 8th grade and a family party afterward. In her individual interview, Melissa talks about the stupid fights they’ve all had and how this has brought them all closer together as a family. Joe Gorga says pretty much the same thing, but also that it’s humbled Joe Guidice. I think so too.

Aww, Joe sleeps on the couch because he doesn’t want to be in the bed without her.

In the preview for next week, the subject of Joe’s possible deportation comes up. I hope that doesn’t happen. It just wouldn’t be right. It’s not like he’s a serial killer and his children are American citizens. It would be awful for them to either lose their father or be forced to leave their mother country.

Oct10

October 9, 2015 – Double the GH, Barely a Hop & a Zombie Baby

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital — Thursday

Did Julian literally lose his shirt? He never seems to wear one anymore.

Sabrrrina tells Felix she’s been too busy to take the pregnancy test she bought. Yes, too busy to pee, she says. Welcome to the world of most women. Maybe they’re doing it differently now, but I also could have sworn you’re supposed to do that test first thing in the morning. And nobody’s that busy.

Suddenly Dante wants another baby. Because that’s a good way to save your marriage in advance. It’s only a matter of time before the wrong person sees the video of Valerie telling Dillon that she slept with Dante. It’s probably any minute now, since Dillon told the PA to do what he wants with the footage. And how can I even take Dillon seriously as a director when he’s not being a control freak? Not only that, Dillon is starting to feel guilty about having the knowledge that Dante is a cheat.

Nathan shows up at the movie set and acts like a bit of a jerk, telling Dillon he’s there to investigate the conditions on the set when he’s really there to investigate what Maxie is doing.

Paul and Tracy have a discussion about Michael, ELQ and the mob. Are these two getting back together again? NuPaul has grown on me quickly, and I’d like to see Tracy have some fun. It won’t be much fun when she finds out his game, but in the meantime, why not? Tracy leaves and Michael arrives.

Alexis asks Julian to move in with her. Aren’t these two a little old to be playing house? Isn’t he ever going to have his own place? The ten years I lived alone was the best ten years of my life.

Ha-ha! Maxie tells Dillon that Nathan was just being ridiculous over their sex scene and he even believes pro-wrestling is real. Maxie has to cry during a scene and is clueless about method acting, but doesn’t want to fake it with glycerin. Lulu walks in with groceries while they’re filming. Are they filming in her living toom? What the what? She says she wanted to provide a craft services table for them, and Dillon goes ballistic under the guise of her interrupting the scene.

Olivia is back and wants to come clean about baby Leo. Dante tells her this would be a bad idea, since they don’t know for sure if Julian is out of the mob, and her whole point in hiding the baby was because she wants to keep Leo away from all that.

Oh, this is good! Sabrrrina gets home with her bag from the drugstore and finds the GH equivalent of Twizzlers in it. Nathan smacks into Valerie outside the diner and she drops her drugstore purchase without realizing. After she wanders off, Nathan finds the pregnancy test. Since Nathan is hip to the fact that Valerie and Dante slept together, we all know what he’s thinking. I’m guessing that, although this is amusing right now, Valerie probably will end up pregnant, especially since Dante and Lulu are gearing up to have another baby. Wrenches in the works all around.

Paul tells Michael he needs to step away from the mob. Michael thinks Tracy is behind his lecture and tells him to take a hike. Since Paul’s office has a revolving door, as soon as Michael leaves, Dillon shows up complaining about Nathan, although Paul managed to squeeze in a phone call to Alexis, telling her he’s not going to prosecute Julian. Well, that worked out.

Sabrrrina miraculously gets another pregnancy test without even leaving the house.

Tracy shows up at Sabrrrina’s, where she’s now taken 47 pregnancy tests and is eating the Twizzlers. Apparently, they were supposed to have breakfast together and Sabrrrina never showed. Michael shows up and blasts Tracy about Paul’s lecture. Does no one have to go to work today?

Only Alexis. She leaves for work, and Olivia shows up with baby Leo.

Of course Nathan can’t keep anything to himself, and before even checking with Valerie to see what’s up, tells Dante that Valerie has, or rather had, a pregnancy test. Before anyone has a chance to breathe, Dante is shoving the test at Valerie, while Dillon lurks in the background.

Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood

In the 20 minutes I watched this, two women got into a cat fight over a man, and one hip hop guy said, “That’s all I’m sayin’. You know what I’m sayin’?”

I think that’s probably as high as the bar is set for this show.

General Hospital – Friday

If Elizabeth keeps talking out loud to herself about how she’s finally marrying Jason, she won’t have to worry about the secret getting out. Laura tells Elizabeth she’s out of her mind, marrying “Jake” under false pretenses. Elizabeth acts like the selfish idiot that she is, and doesn’t want to listen. She says everyone is happy right now and it would be devastating for several people, like Patrick. Laura tells her it’s going to be worse if the truth comes out later. No kidding.

Lulu wonders why Dillon is acting linsane, and Maxie tells her it’s because he’s in love with her. After Dillon is done lurking at the police station, he comes in wanting to talk to Lulu. He gives her some baloney about being stressed over the film, and then tells her that he wants to come clean about everything. She says she already knows what he’s going to say. This is usually where a mix-up occurs.

Dante demands an explanation from Valerie about the pregnancy test, and she demands to know where her Twizzlers went. Valerie gets seriously pissed about Dante jumping her ass (and not in a good way) and stomps off. I don’t blame her. Dante jumping to conclusions was what got them into this mess in the first place.

Hayden wants to go out on the town with Nicholas, but she needs him to buy her a hot outfit first. Because women always make a guy buy the outfit for the first date.

“Jake” has a confab with Sam about finding out who he is before the wedding. He wants to give his true identity to Elizabeth as a wedding gift. That will be some gift. I can’t wait. Sam wants to start with Hayden, which means starting with Nicholas. “Jake” wonders why Nicholas would give a flying, and I’ve forgotten why, so I wonder too.

Commercial break. Is that Puddy from Seinfeld in the ad for Yoplait Whips? What happened to him? He looks like a pro-wrestler.

Olivia tells Julian that she adopted the baby she’s carrying around. Because adoptions happen just that quickly. She makes up something stupid that no one in their right mind would believe. Julian takes the baby, who starts crying his head off. Is Olivia sure this is his kid? Not much happens here, and Olivia leaves as quickly as she came.

Lulu tells Dillon that everything is cool and that he’ll find someone else. He asks her what on earth she’s talking about. Told you. She tells him that they had a lot of loose ends from way back when, and that they represent each other’s missed chances. Good point. She also makes it clear that she’s happily married, making Dillon thisclose to telling her about Valerie and Dante. Lulu tells Dillon that she and Dante want to have another baby and there’s no hope for them. Uh-oh, here it comes.

Dante follows Valerie around, apologizing and acting like an idiot in general. She says even if she was pregnant, she wouldn’t keep it. Ouch! He begs her forgiveness and she says he’s made it impossible to hate him.

Laura suggests that Elizabeth tell “Jake” the truth before someone else, like Hayden, does. Young Jake comes in with an injury over his eye. I guess he got in a fight in school? Laura thinks maybe young Jake should see a shrink, since he spent the first 4 years of his life isolated on Spoon Island with Helena.

“Jake” suggests that he and Sam take a look at Nicholas’s computer. Nicholas and Hayden walk in with ten thousand shopping bags, making that idea very convenient. Sam insults the both of them and leaves with “Jake.” Nicholas wants to know what Hayden bought and so do I. She says it’s a surprise, but gives him a sneak preview of her teddy or corset or whatever she’s got on under her clothes. He wants to know why she’s being so seductive. It must have been a while since he’s gone on a date. She claims Nicholas is “blushing,” but I don’t see it. As a matter-of-fact, that’s the last thing I’d think he’d do. Hayden says he’s almost acting like he cares about her, and she wants to talk about where the relationship is going, and he says he’s suddenly not hungry…for food. Woo woo!

Just as Sam and “Jake” get to Windermere, they hear Nicholas and Hayden coming back in. This place is on an island. Does everyone have private helicopters or what? Sam and Jake scoot out the back door, and Nicholas says he wants Hayden to put on a fashion show of all the stuff she bought on his dime. “Jake” and Sam scale a wall and get in the castle another way. Sam downloads all of the info on Nicholas’s computer onto a flash drive, but before she’s finished, even though there are 5000 rooms, Hayden and Nicholas decide to use this one for the fashion show.

Dante tells big mouth Nathan that the pregnancy test wasn’t Valerie’s, and he feels like an idiot. But then Maxie sees the test and no doubt jumps to the same conclusion.

Dillon grabs Lulu for a kiss, young Jake hears Elizabeth saying that “Jake” is his father, Nicholas and Hayden start going at it with Sam and Jake teetering on a balcony or ledge or something outside, and I’m eternally grateful that the news didn’t break in at the last second.

Z Nation

Operation Bite Mark has picked up Murphy’s groupie, Serena, who looks about two 24 months pregnant. The group is traveling through a Wisconsin town that was having some kind of cheese festival, making for some amusing zombies. Doc sees the world’s biggest wheel of cheese and stops to take a slice. They use the wheel to mow down a whole lot of zombies.

Serena is going through a lot of changes – morning, daytime and evening sickness, and hormonal weirdness. While they stop for her getting sick, a group starts shooting at them. Hormones can be a good thing sometimes, as Serena knocks them all out with a machine gun tirade about a baby being on board.

The cheese wheel continues on.

They get to a Mennonite farm. Vasquez slips away and takes out his radio. Is he contacting someone? Citizen Z perhaps?

10K comes across some farmers, some zombies and a zombie sheep. He takes care of the latter two, and the farmers leave without so much as a thank you.

Commercial break. It’s a new one from Subaru with the dogs Teenage lab is dating a boxer (a boxer dog, not a pugilist) and she chases his car after he drops her off. Very cute! They knew what they were doing when they created this ad series. Some other new show called The Expanse looks good, but I watch too many shows as it is. Childhood’s End is another intriguing one. Must. Stop. Looking.

10K follows the farmers, who have holed up in a barn, but they close the door on him. He’s covered with some kind of powder that he says came out of a zombie’s head when he shot it. That can’t be good. Roberta doesn’t think so either, and tells him to wash up.

Vasqyez reunites with the others (we never get back to the radio business), but the conversation is cut short by a family of zombies that they have to deal with. They explode with the powdery stuff. The living emerge and it turns out the powder is anthrax. Was this a result of the nuclear fallout? They don’t explain. 10K keels over and is running a high fever.  Serena is about to have her baby. There are tons of sick people in the makeshift infirmary, but whether from the anthrax or zombies, I don’t know.

Serena  is about to give birth in the barn, and can’t seem to stop talking, which she’s been doing since they picked her up. Addy tells one of the women they need Doc. English is not her first language, but she gets it when Addy makes a gesture like she’s inhaling a joint. I’m pretty sure Doc has never delivered a baby before. Let alone a half-zombie baby.

The Mennonite elder, who is young because there’s no one else left, tells OBM about a pharmacy in another town. The Mennonites haven’t gone there because it’s too dangerous, but they decide to set off. Mennonite Elder Guy in tow.

Murphy and Serena make insane noises at each other, which I guess is supposed to be the half-zombie Lamaze method.

Addy, Vazquez and Mennonite Elder Guy crash the drugstore. Addy feels the need to tell Mennonite Elder Guy what condoms are for. Um, he’s a Mennonite, not a Martian. They find a guy shooting up In the back of the store. Well, there go all the drugs. Yep, there are none left. Drug Addict Guy wants to die and rushes Vasquez, who shoots him.

Murphy asks Doc for a cigar, but all Doc can come up with is a piece of nicotine gum. Things are not looking good for 10K, who is spitting up blood. I feel sad about that. This show isn’t known for sparing even its main characters. Roberta says they have Cipro at the farm. She justifies taking it from them, saying there isn’t enough for the whole place, but there is enough to save 10K. She and Vasquez are going to rob the farm’s pharm, while Doc stays behind with Murphy and Serena.

Mennonite Elder Guy knows Roberta is there for the medicine. She explains that their mission is to create the vaccine that will help everyone. Mennonite Elder Guy shares their credo of non-violence and loving their enemies. Roberta takes what they came for and she and Mennonite Elder Guy wish each other peace.

OBM is reunited and the baby is pulling itself out of the womb. Yikes! Here come 3 wise guy zombies with a zombie camel and a bunch of other zombie animals. This is apparently the zombie messiah. Some zombie cowboys (?)  join in too, and zombies start accumulating. The baby is a girl and it’s actually kind of cute. The zombie pack breaks through to where they are, and Murphy can’t hypnotize them like usual because they’re drawn to the baby. Serena gets loud and hormonal and stops them in their zombie tracks, calling them damn dirty zombies like in Planet of the Apes. She gets caught amongst the zombies and gets eaten as Murphy watches helplessly. She emerges as a zombie faster than any turning I’ve ever seen, and Roberta gives her mercy. Sacrificial lamb character for tonight, but how are these people going to travel with a half-zombie baby? I’m betting it’s going to be an adult in two weeks’ time.

If I see that final countdown Geico ad one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind. It’s been an ear worm on and off for weeks.

Commercial break. Strange. It’s an ad for The Walking Dead.

10K has survived and Murphy needs to name the baby. Addy gives 10K the condoms, which seems odd to me, since you’d think they’d be wanting to repopulate the earth. If she was going to give them to anyone, it should be Murphy. Murphy names the baby Lucille, the first of her kind.

Ha-ha-ha! The cheese wheel picks up a cow at the end.

Oct8

October 7, 2015 — Port Charles & Double the LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Oh, look! It’s Felix! Where has he be–…he’s gone again. And while I’m on the subject, where has Brad been? And his boyfriend, the cop. It’s been so long, I can’t remember his name.

Sabrrrina explains to the two idiots, Michael and Morgan, that it’s too early to tell if Sonny’s paralysis is permanent. I’m sure Morgan will want to beat someone up over that. Or shoot someone. Or sleep with them. Corny stuff with Carly and Sonny continues.The two stooges descend on them because it’s a hospital and he’s just had major surgery, so everyone, come on in.

Emma, one of the cutest kids on the planet, and Anna are making necklaces. Sam walks in and Emma hides the necklace she’s making because it’s for her real mom (Robin) and she doesn’t want to hurt Sam’s feelings. I feel about kids on soaps about the same way I feel about getting hit in the head with a hammer, but the ones on GH blow me away. Emma remembers that the last time Patrick was getting married (to Sabrrrina), Robin showed up out of the blue and wonders if that will happen again. Now that she mentions it, me too.

Elizabeth gives “Jake” some BS about the Hayden phone call.

Nicholas asks Laura if she really thinks he could have someone killed. Hell yeah. She tells him that Elizabeth made a good case for it, which will probably get Elizabeth in trouble, which is okay with me, but why did she tell? Nicholas says, yeah, well, maybe he did that, but hasn’t Laura done some dumbass things? Like leaving him with the Cassadines to run away with Luke? To be fair, he is a Cassadine and she didn’t have anyone shot.

Just as Nicholas says “Blah-blah-blah ‘Jake’ is really Jason,” Jason Jake That guy shows up in the hallway right behind Hayden who’s been listening to the whole thing. Nice moment!

Anna assuages Emma’s fears about Robin, but then overly astute Emma asks what if someone else stops the wedding? That’s a good question, little kid. Somehow this turns around to everyone lighting candles in church. Because they’re all soooo spiritual.

“Jake’s” presence is made known. Hayden says she just wanted to know what was up with the memory she had and “Jake” is being overprotective of his fiancé. Laura questions whether Jake should be getting married, since he might have a family somewhere else. Nicholas tells her to shut the blip up. Not really, but he wants to. “Jake” says it’s all good, and if anyone was looking for him, he’d know it by now. He leaves, Laura goes upstairs to say good night to Spencer (where has he been?) and as soon as she’s gone, Hayden tells Nicholas she heard everything.

Ava has freaked out over a rash that baby Avery has and brought her to the hospital. Didn’t she raise Kiki? Who runs their second kid to the ER over a rash? She also runs into Sonny on his way to an MRI. Sonny is awfully damn perky to have just come out of major surgery and awfully tan too. He looks like he just came back from the Bahamas, and although I’ve never had an embolism, I have the feeling you don’t look all that great afterward. Hello? Director? Is this thing on? In the meantime, Carly and Dumb & Dumber are saying they need to tell Sonny that Ava has Avery.  Um…

I give my eldest dog, who just had her 13th birthday, a piece of egg and my other dogs stare at me like I’m a mass murderer. This isn’t part of the GH plot. I’m just wondering if you’re paying attention.

Sabrrrina and Felix are having dinner and drinks. Felix questions the fact that Sabrrrina isn’t drinking and doesn’t want a floating rib. He wonders if she’s pregnant. Even though she insists she isn’t, she tells him she’ll take a test in the morning. Ugh! Just what we need, another Corinthos, I mean, Quartermaine.

Sonny threatens Ava and then says he doesn’t want his MRI, that he’s taking his marbles and going back to his room. Lord help me. This character is so irritating sometimes, I can’t stand it. Carly is a day late and a dollar short, telling Sonny what he already knows when he gets back to the room. He asks Carly to marry him, they kiss, and I gag.

Sam is still questioning Anna as to whether they shouldn’t be looking for Carrrlos. Anna needs to make up something better, since Carrrlos killed Duke and Sam thinks she’d want his ass for that alone. I’d think the same thing.

Ava is still wandering around the hospital because it’s the social hub of Port Charles. Morgan starts hassling her and he does one of those things I hate, talks to the baby saying what he really wants Ava to hear.

“Jake” calls Sam and wants her to help him find out who he is before he marries Elizabeth. For someone who has so much work, I don’t see Sam do a whole lot of it.

Little Women: LA

All anyone can talk about is Brianna’s secret wedding to Matt, which is understandable. Christy’s husband, Todd, looks up the records online because no one has anything better to do, and it turns out they’ve been married for a while. They also bring up how Matt sent rude pics to some girl when he and Brianna weren’t together. While I’m not a fan of d*ck pics, they need to get over this already. It’s funny how in both this show and the OC Wives, the friends are more concerned about the other person’s love life than the other person is. Did that make sense? I love Brianna and Matt’s ring sets – he’s the “dark knight” and she’s the “glamorous queen.”

Terra is all shocked that Brianna kept the marriage from them. I don’t get that, since they were all so down on him. I do agree though, the announcement at Elena’s bachelorette party was pretty bad timing. Brittney, however, thinks it’s pretty “badass,” and I can kind of see it that way too. Brianna has been struggling with these friendships for a while, so even though I don’t think she meant it that way, it was kind of a big F-U.  In a flashback, they’re showing Brittney and her gigantic butterfly earrings are amazing.

Yay! It’s time to see Elena’s wedding dress! Absolutely anything would look good on her, so I can just imagine her draped in a white confection. Tonya nearly freaks out, seeing the dress before we do, and I can see why. It looks more like something you’d wear on your wedding night. Don’t get me wrong, it’s incredible, a lace dream, and she looks fabulous in it, but it barely covers her lady parts. Both Terra and Tonya are wondering how Elena and hubby Preston’s parents are going to react. Me too.  It must be nice to not be self-conscious though.

Despite their bad start, Tonya and Jasmine are friends now. They both have average sized children, so they have that bond. It must be challenging, because by the time the child is 5, they’re the same size as the mom. That’s one of the reasons I love this show. These are things that the average sized person doesn’t even give a thought too, and it’s good to expand your knowledge of how someone different from you deals with life.

Of course Jasmine knowing about Brianna’s marriage comes up. Jasmine is afraid this is going to affect her friendships with the other ladies, but IMO, it shows that she can totally be trusted with a secret.

Todd and Christy meet Terra and Joe for lunch at a really nice outdoor restaurant. I’m glad to see Joe. He hasn’t been around much. They say that Matt has kids who live with his ex (I assume their mom) and how could this be without him being a total lowlife?

For Elena, the upcoming party is more than a vow renewal. It’s everything she never got to do. She came to the US for a short trip from Russia and ended up marrying Preston. Last season, we learned that her first two years of life were spent tied to a bed in a hospital. It’s a real miracle that she turned out so well-adjusted. I once was on a team that took care of a child with institutionalized autism. He came from a similar situation, but in the Ukraine instead of Russia. I needed special training to learn how to teach and deal with him. I thought he was very bright, but he could also turn violent at a moment’s notice, and I did experience that. He and his parents eventually moved to Oregon where there was a facility that could handle his needs. No surprise there was nothing in this state.

Elena’s family arrives. They’re very cute. It would be good of her to translate though. Unless Preston knows Russian, which for all I know, he does.

Brittney and Terra are having a confab at Terra’s house. Terra says she wants to make sure Brittney isn’t going to create a problem in Hawaii. This is kind of stupid, since the issue she had with Elena is between them and all was forgiven. Terra and Brittney were both back-up dancers on Miley Cyrus’s tour, so Terra, having brought Brittney into the friend circle, feels responsible. Brittney says the whole thing with Elena was really Terra’s fault because she opened her big mouth. Terra tells Brittney she shouldn’t come to Hawaii, which really isn’t her place at all. I love Terra, but she can seriously be controlling. I’d tell her to bugger off.

Million Dollar Listing LA

Josh A. is making plans to change an address on one of his listings. It turns out changing an address can make more money. I can assure you, not if it’s changed to my address.

The twins James and David, and Josh F. are going to knock on doors and cold call in person for real estate listings. They say it’s a neighborhood that the Shahs of Sunset might like to live in and developers are very interested in buying at tear down prices and building more contemporary homes. That rubs me the wrong way and makes me think Joni Mitchell was prophetic in writing that “they paved paradise and put up a parking lot.” These houses are beautiful and have a lot of charm, but no one cares about that anymore. My sister got a degree in historical preservation, and moved to New Orleans thinking she could use it there. Instead, she found a bunch of Walmarts and got slammed by Katrina.

Josh F. left a business card at a house where no one was home, and he gets a call. Nice. Josh A. is having trouble generating interest in a property on Aberdeen, which sounds familiar to me, and I think it’s because Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out had a property there. It’s a fabulous property and the downstairs has a really nice recording studio, but the problem seems to be the high price.

The David/James/JoshF team check out the house Josh was called about. It’s a little modern for me, but if you wanted to give it to me, I’d take it. The outdoor space is gorgeous too, but then we see the view. An entire apartment building is looking down on it. The owner tells them the Cypress trees will grow a lot in a couple of years, but that’s not helping right now. They make a good point in that the owner is a developer and a sale would get his name out there. They have a deal. Sometimes this is kind of exciting.

David and James have a “spa day.” They do two minutes in a cryogenic chamber that seems scary and uncomfortable. No thanks.

After showing him several comps, Josh A. tells Aberdeen guy that if he doesn’t lower the price, he can’t list the house anymore for him. He gets the price reduction.

Did you know that parking a Lamborghini out front is foreign investor bait? Me neither. The J/D/JF team has decided to try and distract potential buyers from the ghastly view by putting a mermaid in the pool. It’s a freaking amazing house and if I had the money to buy it, I’d have enough for a house in the Hamptons when I wanted privacy and wouldn’t care less about the apartment building. The mermaid is cool and everyone loves it, but seriously, it doesn’t make the apartment building disappear.

Josh A. is still annoyed about the glitter bomb from last week, and when he sees that Josh F. is listing with the Double Mint twins, he makes plans to ruffle feathers. He Saran wraps his own advertisement all over (I think) David and Jame’s car at the open house.

Next week, Larry Flint is selling his home. That should be interesting.

Oct7

October 6, 2015 — GH, Wrong Loving, a Couch & a Squall

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Is it Friday yet? Sleeping Beauty Sonny wakes up, while Ava and Julian take baby Avery out to dinner to celebrate her homecoming. I have the feeling Avery is probably ready for surf ‘n’ turf or at least lo mien.

“Jake” picked up Elizabeth’s phone while she was in the bathroom and knows she got a call from Hayden. Well, it probably has Nicholas’s number, so who knows what he must be thinking.

Kiki whines to Franco that she has nothing to do and no one to do it with. He suggests she move into Silas’s apartment with him and Nina, but Nina’s not too keen on that idea and I don’t blame her. Who wants this millennial whiner around them? Let’s see, she’s gorgeous, has money (I’m sure Silas left her some and she has the apartment) and is halfway intelligent (although not much evidence of that lately). Can’t she find somewhere to go? I’ve found her annoying for a while, but it could just be that I miss Kristen Alderson. A lot. Nina also doesn’t want to live in the “death apartment.” Again, good luck finding one that isn’t in Port Charles.

“Jake” says he wasn’t snooping, but he wanted to know what call upset Elizabeth so much. Patrick and Sam show up announcing their engagement, and Elizabeth is happier than they are. Patrick and Elizabeth get called to the hospital to deal with Sonny. Sam complains a little about significant others who are doctors and nurses, and have to go to work at a moment’s notice. Sounds good to me. Maybe not so much with nurses, but marrying a doctor must be great. They’re never home and they make a lot of money. Whoa. “Jake” has an amazing memory for things other than his identity. He remembered the phone number he saw on Elizabeth’s phone and has Sam look it up on her tablet.

Laura shows up at Windermere, and is wondering what’s up with Hayden being there. Nicholas has given Hayden some baloney about how Helena told her who Jake is, but not him. Okay. Like anyone is stupid enough to believe that. Elizabeth calls Nicholas and he seems to think that Hayden doesn’t remember anything. Does this mean he’s believing Hayden or falling for her? Hayden is hip to the fact that she’s making Laura nervous, and says she’ll find somewhere else to live. Seriously? Doesn’t this house have like 110 rooms? They never even have to see each other. Laura says it’s okay and that Hayden should stay.

Kiki gives a lot of exposition for new viewers as to what’s happened up until now with Nina, under the guise of telling Nina how sorry she is. No one talks like this IRL and it always makes me laugh. I’m not crazy about Nina’s dress. I love the style, but it’s some kind of cherry blossom pattern or something that looks like streaks of blood.

Paul says the same thing that every politician says when they get in office – he got left with a mess. He and Tracy discuss how reliable information from Michael might be. It’s probably about as reliable as information from anyone on this show. Paul says he’s going to talk to Michael. Fat lot of good this will do him.

I got confused for a second when Carly tells Sonny he had a seizure when they were about to get married. I’d totally forgotten they decided to do it in the hospital. Patrick tells Sonny that anxiety is a common side effect of anesthesia. Really? I’ve only had it once and it was the best sleep I ever had. He tests Sonny’s reflexes and I wonder if those are fake feet, because Sonny doesn’t react and I don’t know if anyone is that good of an actor. It’s making me move my feet. I’m still wondering why Sonny thought “Jake” was Jason, since they really look nothing like each other. (I’d also swear “Jake” was shorter, but I’ll let that pass.) Was it something in “Jake’s” eyes, or did Sonny wake up psychic? That would be a fun plotline. He could get together with Olivia and they could start a business.

Nina is like, no way am I moving in with Kiki, but Franco wants to do the right thing, with a side benefit of bugging Ava. I love these two together because they’re more fun than corny. Roger Howarth is aging well and looking handsome. He doesn’t seem to be the type who’d get Botox or something, so good. Kiki shows up at (I guess) The Floating Rib where Julian and Ava are. Ava wants to make peace, but Kiki just wants to drink. I hear you, Kiki. How many earrings is Kiki wearing? It looks like 4 or 5. Kiki throws back the rest of her drink and storms off.

How is it that “Jake” is so damn smart, but can’t figure out even one clue as to who he really is?

Back at the ranch Silas’s apartment, Kiki is back and Nina says they’re all going to be one big happy family there, making Kiki, the audience, and probably Franco, wondering when her change of mind happened.

Nicholas tells Laura he “has feelings for” Hayden. I hate that phrase. It makes me cringe inside. Laura wonders how well it’s going to go, since he tried to have Hayden killed a few months ago. Nicholas says that a guy has the right to change his mind. Not really, but that sounded good.

Geez, Sonny isn’t awake 10 seconds before Carly is pushing for another marriage ceremony. Patrick has told him it’s too early to tell if he’ll be able to walk again, and he doesn’t want to marry her until he finds out. Way to stall.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Major flashback episode from when Alex and Brad moved into the neighborhood. Marcie and Randall welcome them and the couples get together for an evening of drinking.  They do some dancing in Alex and Brad’s living room. I always find this kind of thing a little weird, since nobody does this IRL unless it’s a party. Afterwards, after Marcie & Randall leave, Alex wants to get all lovey dovey, and ditto the other two at their house. They keep showing us the clock and I’m not sure why. Uh-oh, something went wrong at Alex and Brad’s. They’ve finished before they started and she does not look happy. OMG – Alex is looking out the window and sees the other couple. Quick like a bunny, Randall closes the curtains, but not before he sees Alex catching a glimpse. This is another thing I don’t think people do in real life, unless they’re voyeurs. Speaking for myself, I can’t think of one neighbor I’ve ever had that I’d want to catch in flagrante. Nope. Not one. And I’ve had quite a few neighbors.

Randall sees Alex outside the next morning and says, sorry, they’re used to the house being empty. I can actually relate to this. I once lived on the top floor of an apartment building in Queens. When they decided to go co-op, as renters left, they stopped renting out apartments. For over a year, it was just me and a single gay man on my floor, and I got used to doing things like taking the garbage out in my underwear. I had to be really careful to check myself when new people finally started moving in.

We jump to a few years later. Both Marcie and Brad are at work and Randall goes over to see Alex. He says he’s been hugging her a little too long at the end of the night when they double-date, adding that it seems to be reciprocal. I’m actually feeling a little sick to my stomach, since I know what the outcome is going to be. Randall says he’s seen her peeping at them when they’re going at it. Hmm…why are they still leaving the curtains open? When people moved into my apartment building, I stopped taking out the garbage half-naked. Alex wisely tells him to get lost. Obviously, we know this doesn’t last. Then he goes to kiss her good-by. Alex rebuffs him, but he’s still going on about their chemistry. One of the reasons I’ve never liked Randall is that he can’t take a hint.

For whatever reason, Randall is helping Alex paint a room. They’re getting a little too close while opening a stuck window, and her parents show up! They’re from Deliverance, which is a surprise to me. Her father isn’t happy that Brad isn’t American, and then Randall, who is African American, comes bounding down the stairs without his shirt on. OMG, he calls Randall “a darkie.” So her father is a racist from the backwoods and her mother is a doormat. They leave and good riddance. Alex goes to find Randall and I see where this is headed. They had lots of sex in the shed and that’s where Alex finds him.

Alex is mortified. They hug and, Oh my Tyler Perry!

Alex is dreaming all this and wakes up saying Randall’s name. And Brad is sitting there. Brad says he’s going to make her life hell from now on. I swear, Tyler Perry produces the best soaps ever. The episode endings are nothing short of soapticiously fabulous.

The People’s Couch

I am so glad this show is back. And for an hour this time. I honestly think it’s one of the funniest things on TV. Maybe ever. The simple, and cheap for Bravo, premise is several groups of people watching TV in their respective homes, everything from Empire (a show I would love to indulge in, but I can’t watch everything) to The Real Housewive,  and making comments to each other while they watch. That’s pretty much what I do here. Which is why I need to be on this show, even if I talk to myself.

There are a pair of sisters who are also roommates; three gay guys who are best friends; a pair of sisters who aren’t roommates; a couple and their two teenage sons; female best friends and writing partners, one is gay and one is straight (my personal favorites – and they have 3 little dogs); a dad and his three adult daughters; three older retired ladies; and another couple and their teenage son.

Each group is very funny, and are people you’d love to hang out with. I literally laugh out loud every other minute.

Oooh, we get a sneak peek Teresa’s phone call home from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Below Deck

Back at the schoolyard…I mean, yacht, Rocky has given Emile a note saying she just wants to be friends. Because they are both huge babies. I would hate to work with these two.

The primary guests are a brother and sister (Tracy and Mark) and their spouses. There’s another girl who I assume is someone’s daughter. Right away, in her individual interview, Connie says something snarky about the girl’s appearance. I don’t like that. Yeah, I know I do it sometimes, but I’m not getting a ten thousand dollar tip. If you’re giving me ten grand, I won’t knock your sweater.

The weather is pretty breezy and a storm is coming. A lobster fishing expedition is cut short and they head back to shore. Chef Leon is a real drag, but the gusts are happy with his dishes. The centerpiece is gorgeous too. I’m sure that’s the fun part of the job for the stews, getting to do the creative stuff. New deckhand, Dane, is on anchor watch. It’s been stressed a few times that falling asleep is a huge no-no, which makes me wonder if that’s what’s going to happen, but it doesn’t.

The next day is nicer, so the jet skis are put in the water. Immediately, the first guest out runs over a line and sucks it into the propeller, thus taking more precious time away from outdoor activities. Squalls are coming through. Dane is supposed to get the line un-entangled and is just making more of a mess. Captain Lee is losing patience with this guy quickly. At first, he seemed like a hard worker, but he’s acting more and more like Spicoli from Fast Times At Ridgemont High.

Mark has brought his own wine and wants a tasting menu to go with it. Chef Leon has ordered food from the mainland – groceries, not McDonald’s – and more time is wasted going to pick up his order. The meat is frozen solid. I guess Leon should have been more specific or planned better. Because Kate didn’t have the menu info, everything else got hung up. I understand her frustration with this. I hate when I have to wait for someone to finish their part before I can do my part and they lollygag. Even worse, as Kate has explained earlier, it’s the domino effect – if one person flounders, it goes on down the line and affects everyone.

Captain Lee is dining with the guests. He’s not impressed with Leon’s food, but hopefully, the guests are. Mark seems to have a pretty sophisticated palette. Amy and Kate are super pissed off about Leon taking his sweet time with the whole thing and not caring about them or the guests. Chef Leon makes an appearance and the guests seem happy with his work. Apparently, he should be wearing a jacket to do this and says he doesn’t give a flying. Kate finally calls him out for being the jerk that he is. He says he’ll try to let her know sooner next time, but not to hold her breath. Then he just goes on and on and on about how he doesn’t like Kate and making veiled threats. This guy is the worst. I wouldn’t want to work with him either. Rocky thinks it’s all very funny and I want to slap her.

16 large this week! And because the yacht owners have gotten good feedback about the crew, they’ve been given a freebie night at a resort. Captain Lee gives Dane a mini lecture on responsibility, but he knows it’s going in one ear and out the other. Good job whoever used the words “tax free” in regard to the tip. Shut up.

Dane gets seriously hammered while on the boat on their night off. Ugh! He’s a messy drunk too. I hate that.

Next week looks pretty good. Dane makes more of an idiot of himself and the guests aren’t happy with Chef Leon. And Eddie and Rocky hook up? I’m hoping that one is a dream.

Oct6

October 5, 2015 — GH, the OC, London & a Stink

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Franco and Nina are out to celebrate their conscious coupling, and see Kiki doing shots at the bar. Nina says it’s a funny place for an investment job. I might agree, but I worked in investments in the 80s.The dude she’s doing shots with apparently wants payment for those shots with some nookie, and Kiki fights off his advances until Franco steps in, saying she’s his daughter. After the guy backs off, half-in-the-bag Kiki tells Franco he’s not her father, that her father was killed by Nina’s lunatic of a mother (like that’s his fault), and to get lost. Instead, he drags her sorry ass out of the bar.

Anna and Emma are having an after school snack at a table outside a restaurat. Emma says she wants to write about her grandma for a school assignment because she’s the best person in the world. Ouch! Knife to Anna’s heart. Anna tries to talk Emma into writing about her dad, but Emma basically says he’s a real bore and she’d rather write about Anna, who’s a hero and can do no wrong. Another stab. Sabrrrina shows up  and tells Emma to go in and buy some cookies, which I already know must be a ploy to talk to Anna alone.

Laura’s back! I’ve been hoping against hope that she’ll be the one who reveal’s “Jake’s” true identity. Maybe I’ll get my wish. She shows up at Patrick’s house and has flashbacks of talking to Elizabeth before she left. She notices Sam’s engagement ring. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Hayden is looking up old news on the laptop to try and put the pieces of her life together. Nicholas tells her that she’s looking at tabloid crap and he’s already told her everything. Nicholas thinks Hayden is up to something, but she says she’s honestly just trying to figure her past out, while she’s rocking a great new haircut. Nicholas gets kind of pissed off and leaves. I still can’t decide whether I believe her or not.

Elizabeth is out with “Jake.” It must be date night or something. These two are so unexciting as a couple, I can’t wait until this is over. “Jake” is still unnerved about Sonny calling him “Jason.” Elizabeth gets a call from Hayden, who is wondering why she broke a vase in anger at Nicholas’s castle or mansion or fiefdom or whatever it is he lives in. It’s one of the few memories that she has and Elizabeth was there. Before Elizabeth can say anything, Nicholas takes the phone from Hayden.

Paul says blah-blah-blah to Michael about getting justice for Sonny, which Tracy isn’t too thrilled about, since Sonny shot AJ. She apologizes to Michael for her outburst, but when he leaves, she tells Paul that she’s not really sorry because Sonny is a lowlife.

No surprise, Sabrrrina wants to talk to Anna about Carrrlos. While she doesn’t know he’s dead, she’s not buying that he would have shot Sonny. She thinks she would have heard from him by now, and thinks she should tell the police, but Anna says that would be a bad idea because she would have to admit to aiding and abetting after Duke’s murder. Nice save.

Laura says the reason she came to Patrick’s first is that she has a condition that needs to be monitored and asks Patrick to be her neurologist. It’s highly doubtful that’s why it was her first stop, but when she saw how cozy Patrick and Sam were, I think she hesitated to tell them about “Jake.” Dammit!

Michael has boomeranged back, and Tracy gives him a mini lecture on how he’s never been a Corinthos and should behave like the Quartermaine he is.

Kiki tells Franco that she lied so he wouldn’t feel sorry for her, and that since Silas died, she has no direction. Franco says that when he thought she was his daughter, it was some of the best time of his life, and I wonder if he’s thinking about Todd and Starr and the good old One Life To Live days.

Uh-oh, Tracy just said she’s going off to pray for patience. Don’t do it. Your patience will only get tested as a result. Sabrrrina has shown up and tells Michael she doesn’t think it’s Carrrlos who shot Sonny.

When Anna and Emma get back to Patrick’s, he and Sam tell them about the engagement. Sam says she feels like the luckiest woman in the world. Just wait, Sam.

Hayden wants to know whose secret she’s keeping, hers or Nicholas’s. She says he’s trying to control her and that every time she’s making any headway, he either gets all control freakish or flirty, which she tells him is “enjoyable and effective,” but she’s not someone who can be controlled. To prove this point, she gives in to his amorous advances as Laura walks in.

It stinks that Dr. Phil is on at the same time. Today’s show said it was about a homeless guy who thinks he’s a famous songwriter, which sounds totally delusional, but interesting.

The Real Housewives of the OC

All right, here we go. I’m already hating on Meghan when they show scenes from the previous episodes. She said she thought all children were raised the same. That’s a huge part of her problem. She thinks everything should be the way it is/was for her.

Of course when the show starts, because I stupidly watched First Look again, I had that moment where I thought I saw it before and wonder how that can be.

Brianna starts off with saying idiotic things. Brooks is away, and she, Ryan and children are staying with Vicki. Brianna and Ryan are whispering in the kitchen about how the house feels weird and smells strange. WTF is wrong with these people? Brianna is a married woman with her own family and I just don’t get how she feels she can dictate what her mother does. I still say there’s a reason why they’ve been in Oklahoma a year and have no friends.

Tamra is getting baptized. Look out for lightning storms in the OC.

Shannon and David are seeing their counselor who makes house calls. I have to admit, I wasn’t that crazy about either one of them, especially him, when they first joined the cast, but Shannon has grown to be one of my favorite wives. I have to give David props too, for getting his act together and letting us in on it. And it makes sense now why he was such a creep last season. It’s good of them to air their counseling sessions as well.

Heather, Tamra and Shannon meet for lunch. Tamra wastes no time in pointing out that Heather’s new skin products “also cure cancer.” She says this because one of the ingredients is the same as what Brooks is using to combat his cancer. But aren’t antioxidants used for more than one thing? Again, continuing from last week, there’s a big whoop-de-do about why they chose Tamra to look at Brook’s medical report. Vicki was clear that her reason for doing it was because Tamra started this whole thing with the psychotic…I mean, psychic. I recently read that the so-called psychic is sorry he ever met them, and how much do you want a bet it was a set up by Andy Cohen anyway? Maybe not Andy personally, but he is the pitchfork that prods these shows. Shannon tells them about David’s affair and to her credit, Heather had already known, but has kept her mouth shut this whole time. In Orange County, there’s a 72% divorce rate. Holy! I honestly think these two are going to make it and I’m proud of them.

Brianna says that Vicki works to make something work that shouldn’t work, because she doesn’t want to be alone. Isn’t that her business? I’ve said this before. I don’t care for Brooks, but I never see him treat Vicki like anything but a queen, so who cares if he’s lying his ass off? Brianna has had it out for him ever since (a billion seasons ago) when he was drunk and told Brianna’s husband he should smack her one. Not so nice, but I’ve wanted to smack her one several times, so I get where he was coming from. To top it off, Brianna’s husband, Ryan, doesn’t seem like much of a prize to me. He seems to have calmed down some, but he was a nasty piece of work for a while. Geez, and I thought I could hold a grudge.

Tamra is now meeting Brianna for lunch. No good is going to come from this. Brianna needs to comb her hair. She says she likes Tamra because she’s so honest. Puh-leeze. She’s nasty and uses the word “honest” to justify it. I’m hoping to God (literally) that her finding Jesus changes her personality. In her individual interview segment, Brianna says there’s nothing Brooks can do to get her to like him. Of course Tamra has to tell her about the PET scan business. Because I have no life, I’d Googled he place myself and it said they do them, so….?

Brianna talks about how Vicki has suffered because of her relationship with Brooks. Well, yeah, but that’s not because of Brooks. It’s because of you. I’m heaving huge sighs through this whole episode so far. I don’t get why everyone just doesn’t drop it.

Oh ho! Tamra says Vicki is using her to do her dirty work and “spread the news.” No comment. No, I take that back. Why is it okay for her to spread all kinds of other news – Meghan’s “research” news, the psychic’s news, any nasty news that comes into her stupid head? There was a point where I’d thought she changed and I was starting to like her, but no. Apparently, she thinks being baptized is also a beauty contest and buys an expensive dress and has her makeup done. She’s an idiot.

Holy! Shannon was doing an at home colonic and got a piece of plastic stuck inside her. She’s going to use an enema to fix this? Damn, woman, go to the ER. It turns out that nothing was there and it must have…um…come out in another way.

Whenever I see Heather and Terry, I think it must be nice to be absolutely loaded.

Everyone keeps talking about how much Tamra has changed. Are we just skipping over the bad parts? Is it me? Both Vicki and Shannon are taking separate limos to the baptism, and something doesn’t seem right about that.

In the preview, Tamra says Vicki could be going to hell for lying. Apparently, she hasn’t been paying attention in Jesus class.

Ladies of London

I love the Baroness’s (otherwise known as Caroline #2) relationship with her two Dachshunds. Her decorating skills are awesome too. She’s got a new relationship going on and she’s pretty excited about it. Her counselor also makes house calls.

Juliet stops by to see Caroline #1 and explains that she told Julie about Caroline’s mini tirade against her, and Julie had to run to Annabelle with it. Caroline #1 says Juliet must be a moron if she thinks anything she says to any of them isn’t going to be broadcast. I agree.

Marissa, who hasn’t taken the gigantic stick out of her butt yet, is discussing her new business venture with her husband. She’s whining about how it’s taking her away from her family. It’s not like she has no concept of working outside the home; what did she think was going to happen?

Annabelle and Julie go to a juice bar. Julie says that Juliet had a “look of horror,” when she passed along the info to Annabelle about Caroline #1. I don’t know what Brits consider a look of horror (even though Julie is American), but that wasn’t it IMO. I think Julie is a little unhinged actually. Everything seems to make her nervous and she’s afraid of making Caroline #1 angry. Caroline #1 has her own set of problems right now with her business (Gift Library) and I highly doubt she gives a flying about any of this. Julie claims to have some gene that makes her extra sensitive. I think maybe she reads too much. I had to take the medical dictionary away from my husband once, since he thought he had every single issue he was reading about. Annabelle tells Julie that she needs to own her feelings and confront Caroline #1, but Julie is askard of her.

Caroline and her sister-in-law, Alexis Carrington Sophie, are having a confab about the New Year’s Eve party. If all this stuff is as unimportant as they say it is, why are they still talking about it?

Marissa is meeting with some brand expert. She’s all startled that things are more expensive than she thought they would be. Welcome to the world. Julie is also trying to get some funding for her JUG balls, which are similar to energy bars. She’s sweating bullets over it, which is no surprise, since she seems to get nervous over just about everything. She’s so nervous, she makes me nervous just watching her. She’s been distributing her Scweddy JUG balls herself, but it’s time to branch out. More ball jokes, but she gets the investors on board.

It’s Joan Collins’s Sophie’s birthday, so all the girls are paying tribute. Julie is “petrified” over seeing Caroline #1 for the first time since the New Year’s Eve debacle. What a shock. Where’s Ramona when you need her to scream, “Take a Xanax!”  What do they call not being able to leave high school in the UK? OMG. Julie looks like such a suck up. Annabelle isn’t impressed and says the only way to deal with Caroline #1 is to stand up to her, but instead, Julie gives her a present. And seriously, she looks like a panting puppy while waiting for Caroline #1’s approval.  It seems like more of a bachelorette party than a birthday. They stab at piñatas that have sex toys in them.  Because she’s really mad at Caroline #1, Julie picks a fight with Juliet. I’m starting not to like Julie. Why am I fighting with Juliet about fighting with Caroline when I’m not fighting about Caroline? says Juliet. Why indeed.

And I don’t think Caroline #1 is scary at all. I quite like her. She’s says after an issue with someone, she moves on and gets over it, because life is too short to do otherwise. She, Victoria Gotti Sophie and Juliet have a nice talk and hugs all around.

Next week looks interesting. They’re going bowling in wigs. And Caroline #1 is going to have to deal with New Yorkers. Ha-ha!

Reeker

Because Halloween is coming up and this is one of my favorite horror films and it’s on Showtime rotation.

The title of this film is somewhat off-putting and I almost didn’t watch it the first time because of that. When I saw Michael Ironside was in it though, I decided to give it a look. He’s a wonderful actor (loved him in V) and also a lovely human being.

I don’t want to say too much about this film, since it has a surprise ending. It’s actually one of those films you might want to watch more than once to catch the clues. It’s no The Usual Suspects, but it’s pretty clever.

A group of kids (not kid kids, but young people) are lost and stumble upon what looks like the Halfway Tourist Oasis, a deserted motel, diner and gas station. It looks like it was inhabited not long before, as all the lights are still on and it looks like everyone left in a hurry. It also stinks to high heaven, hence the film title. When one of them tries to go down the road to find help, he runs into Michael Ironside, who’s driving around in circles in an RV, looking for his missing wife.

Throughout the film, strange characters show up, like a dude whose bottom half is chopped off, along with a hooded figure that keeps making a periodic appearance. Bad things start happening and that’s all I’m going to say.

While this isn’t exactly a classic, it’s well worth taking the time to watch. The pace is good, the story is intelligent and a little different, the gore is nicely done, and the ending is satisfying.

Oct5

October 4, 2015 — King Arthur’s Court & the Dead

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon a Time

I’ve always thought it was funny how, in fantasy or horror stories, they’ll believe in one thing, but not another. Like on Dark Shadows, they would be okay with witches, but a vampire is preposterous. Or vampires are totally plausible, but not a werewolf. In tonight’s episode, when King Arthur is thrown into present day Storybrook, he has a magician who’s been imprisoned, but scoffs that a curse could be involved. A magician who once turned him into a fish, so really?

In order to get Merlin released, dark magic will have to be used, so Regina (otherwise known as the Evil Queen) wants to take Emma’s place, even though Emma (otherwise known as The Savior) is supposed to be the one to save the day. Meanwhile, Emma’s counterpart has gone completely darkside and Captain Hook breaks up with her. Yes, I know, it sounds like the writers are on drugs; that’s not my fault. It’s actually easier to follow than it sounds, but you do have to pay attention or you’ll wonder where The Cat in the Hat suddenly came from.

In Storybrook, some weird ass dark fairy comes down from the sky and carries off Regina’s boyfriend, Robin Hood. It turns out it’s in some kind of payment for some magic where a life is required. Hmm…we’ve got seven dwarves, so I’d pick one of them. Who needs Grumpy anyway?

Back at Camelot, Regina gets an awesome necklace from King Arthur to wear at the ball. It’s really nice, but it doesn’t look like it was foraged during the Middle Ages. Not even close. No surprise, it’s really a hidden camera, or cauldron, or whatever it is they use for candid snaps there.

There’s a cutesy part with finding Regina the proper dress and teaching her to dance. I ignore the dialogue, but lust after the clothes.

Apparently it’s okay to bring your iPod to the parallel medieval world. Uh-oh, someone has realized that Regina is not so much savior as evil queen and pulls a sword on her. In the following melee, parallel world Robin Hood gets stabbed. Regina asks Emma to save Robin. As magic always comes with a price, Rumpelstiltskin pops in and tells her that he doesn’t make the rules and Regina will have to pay up. Emma says screw you, I can do it myself and does.

Rumpelstiltskin is another reason I watch this show. Robert Carlyle is a lot of fun to watch in this role. While most people know him from Trainspotting or The Full Monty, my favorite film of his is the lesser known Ravenous, where he plays cannibal Colonel Ives, a soldier during the Civil War. If you can take great acting, smart dialogue, and a bloody mess, put it on your Netflix list or however you view films.

The dark fairy, who is some kind of demon, is really cool. I’m surprised this show has never won an Emmy for special effects, although they’ve been nominated. The demon starts zapping Robin Hood, but the whole group steps in to take the zap, and shows us that we can succeed if we work together. This show is pretty corny, but the corn is tolerable because of the context.

Rumpel gives Dark Emma a huge cornball speech about love and friendship, but says she can fix all that with Excalibur. Of course she can’t take it out of the stone, so they’ll have to kidnap find someone who can.

Fear the Walking Dead

Travis and Madison start packing supplies and are going to find Nick and Griselda. Daniel wants to kill Andrew because they don’t need him anymore, but even I think that’s a bad idea. He seems to be on their side, they outnumber him anyway and if they’re going break into the hospital, or whatever it is, they’ll need him. Andrew makes sense in telling them he’s only been nice to them, even before Daniel skinned his arm. They leave him alive and behind because he’s an expendable character and the car is at capacity anyway.

They drive through the gate at the Army base. The troops in the watchtower tell Daniel to halt or they’ll shoot, but he tells them to save their ammunition. Right behind him is a Times Square on New Year’s Eve level hoard of zombies. This distracts them while they walk right in, although I’m not sure how Daniel avoided getting eaten between the gate and the watchtower.

Nick and the Allstate guy are still in confinement.  There’s a huge commotion outside and Nick shows Allstate that he has the key. It looks like the zombies are getting in, the troops are evacuating and they’re leaving the sick behind. Travis, Madison and Daniel have gone inside to look for Nick and Griselda while Alicia and Chris are left in the parking garage with the car. Do their parents really think this is safe???

Nick walks out with Allstate, leaving everyone behind who’s begging for them to let them out. I expect this from Allstate, who seems like a grifter, but would have thought better of Nick. Some Army guys want the car from Chris and Alicia. Even though she gives them the keys, they act like a-holes and punch Chris out when he protests their a-holeness. More disappointment. Mostly because why does a random group of men always end up being misogynistic and violent on these shows?

There’s a lot of chaos with the zombies and the soldiers and the helicopters. Some guy gets his head chopped off by some helicopter blades. Nice. Also reminiscent of both Dawn of the Dead and Planet Terror. I’m never sure if something is an homage or there are just so many ways you can kill someone.

Part of the zombie hoard is after Nick and Allstate. Travis and company have made it into the quarantine area. The people in confinement tell them that Nick is a bastard who left them there to die, but at least these guys have the decency to break them free. Nick and Allstate are stuck between a locked door and a zombie crowd (karma), with Travis and the rest (here, on Gilligan’s Isle!) on the other side of the door.This is a pretty good scene. Very exciting and intense. Liza comes along and is able to open the door with her keycard at the very last millisecond. After which they’re promptly attacked by zombies in the hospital kitchen. Lots of fun props like meat tenderizers to kill zombies with.

Did Nick just say Allstate’s name was Rand or…it’s Strand, but I think I’ll stick with Allstate. I kind of like it. Dr. Exner is staying behind with the sick, which is pretty noble. Especially since she seemed like a real tool. Allstate suggests they go West where he has some property. They come across a mass funeral pyre, no doubt composed (no pun intended) of whoever died at the infirmary. The soldiers took the SUV, but Chris and Alicia are okay. See? That was a gratuitous nasty moment with those guys. Andrew shows up and shoots Ofelia. WTF? I take back all the nice stuff I said about him. On the bright side, pacifist Travis finally waves his aggression flag and beats the ever-lovin’ crap out of Andrew.

They get a truck and a car somehow and head on down the highway, where they see the occasional straggler zombie. (How come it isn’t zomby anyway?) They get to Allstate’s house that looks more like a compound. Nice spread. Nick tries to be a philosopher and I go to sleep.

Commercial Break. Sometimes I wish I played video games. They’ll show a clip from what I think looks like a really awesome movie, and then I find out it’s a video game. This one was for HALO5. Just what I’d need though. Another electronic device that I’m attached to.

Allstate says they can’t stay and that “the only way to survive a mad world is to embrace the madness.” He has a yacht out back and methinks they will be boarding it. Uh-oh, Liza has a bite. Liza (who is also Travis’s ex and Chris’s mother) asks Madison to shoot her. Just when we think she will, Travis shows up. His optimism is back and he thinks she can just take something for it, but that’s a no. Madison gives Travis the gun and another expendable character bites the dust.

Oh no. Don’t let it end this way. With some poetic song playing loudly in the background as Travis goes through angst on the beach and Madison joins him while the waves crash over their knees. No, no, no, no. It was just getting good.

Only 6 episodes? They saved the best for last, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to save the show and get it another season.

BTW, Frank Dillane, the actor who plays Nick, is the son of Stephen Dillane, Stannis on Game of Thrones.