What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

The Evil Queen tells Regina that she wants “the best version of us.” She says the only way for Regina to hurt her is to hurt herself, and tells her that love is weakness. Emma uses her sword to slice the Evil Queen’s cheek and nothing happens to Regina. The evil queen disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke, and Emma says it’s possible kill her.

The Evil Queen reappears elsewhere. Gold tells her it looks like the Savior found a weapon. He says he can focus on finding his son and she can prepare to die. He puts the cuff on her so he can track her whereabouts. It’s like a GPS. He says at the end of the day, if Emma hasn’t done away with her, after he’s done finding his son, hell gladly finish the job.

Snow sleeps. Emma says the Evil Queen needs to die. Hook tells her not to do it. Henry says what if this is how she dies? There’s no face under the hood in her vision, so for all they know, the queen kills her. Emma has a mini vision. She tells Regina to stay with Henry. Hook, David, and Emma set off to face the queen. They hear a cry for help and run into Granny’s. Jasmine is tied to a chair. The Evil Queen says it’s not about Jasmine, it’s about her – always. She can snap Jasmine’s neck before they step any closer. She rubs the lamp and Aladdin appears, poof! in a cloud of yellow smoke. She says she has three wishes. He says they come at a price. She says she’s not going to wish for her, but something someone else wants. She wishes that Emma’s wish to not be the Savior be granted. Emma says no, and charges forward. Aladdin raises his hand and she disappears. No poof or anything though. I just thought. What if you weren’t done with your three wishes yet, and someone else got ahold of the lamp? Does that mean you lose out?

Somewhere, it’s Emma’s birthday. She’s a princess and the palace is celebrating. She didn’t wish for anything, since everything she’s ever wanted is already there. Snow and David are now king and queen, and older. Snow asks Emma what’s wrong. Emma says she had a dream that the queen was successful with her curse and she was the Savior. Snow says that was avoided. Emma says she was in a fantastical land, but David says it was just a dream. Emma says when she woke up, she found this, and shows them a sword that was under her bed – the same one as in Storybrooke Emma’s vision. Henry runs in saying he had been practicing for tomorrow and sorry he’s late. He thinks the sword is for him. Emma says his father would be proud, and he says he wishes he’d known him. They look at his portrait, and Emma says he’s watching over Henry. David says time to celebrate, and Snow tells Henry put the sword away; this family is done fighting. Henry gets a weird look on his face. Or maybe it’s just me reading too much into it.

Back in the future, Hook and David start to argue, and Regina says that’s just what the Evil Queen wants. Regina says she’s thrown a lot of punches, but she knows a way to get her back.

Gold makes magic that includes a strand of his hair. He asks a globe to show him his son. Nope. Didn’t happen.

Aladdin makes a martini for the Evil Queen. She tells him it’s a request though, not a wish. She flirts with Aladdin and he says, eww. Regina walks in. The Evil Queen tells her that wishes can’t be undone, but tells her to have a seat, and tells Aladdin to make another drink. She says there was a time all Regina wanted was to tear Snow and David apart and kick Emma out of Storybrooke, and now it’s been done. She gives a one-sided toast. She tells Regina she’s won and can’t even admit it, but that victory feels luxurious. Regina says she’s right, they are the same person, so she’s not the only master of the lamp.

Regina asks to be sent to the same place as Emma. Aladdin obeys.

Regina is in a beautiful wood. She calls out for Emma. She hears the dwarfs whistling on their way to work, and asks if they’ve seen Emma. They think the Evil Queen is back and Grumpy tells the others to run and warn everyone that the war isn’t over.

Regina sees a statue marking the spot where she was defeated by Snow and David. She sees Emma dancing around, carrying a basket of flowers, and humming Someday My Prince Will Come. Regina frightens her, but she says she’s Emma’s friend and none of this is real. Emma thinks she’s the Evil Queen and tells her that she’s been banished. Regina says she risked her life coming here because Emma is the Savior and her family needs her.

An arrow nearly misses her. David and Snow have arrived. David tells Regina that this is their kingdom now. Snow says they’re protecting their people. Regina tries to convince Emma that this isn’t real, saying some part of Emma must know. David tries to attack her with his sword, and she disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Moving forward, David is freaking out. He wants to get the lamp. Hook stops him and says they’re out-gunned and they need a plan. Jasmine wonders what the Evil Queen is doing to Aladdin. Probably not what she’d like to be doing. David says to meet him at the sheriff’s station in an hour. The Evil Queen’s reign ends today.

Somewhere in the Enchanted Forest, Regina goes into a mountain where there’s a prison cell. Rumpelstiltskin is in it, humming the tune of the day, Someday My Prince Will Come. He tells her to come closer and says the apprentice is back to see the old master. Regina says she needs his help. He says she’s his biggest failure, so why would he help? She says she’s not the Evil Queen in this reality, and it’s not even a reality, it’s all fake – he’s fake. She says the world was created by a wish to trap Emma.

Rumpel says maybe he can help her and wants a deal. Regina says he’s not even real. He says he wants his freedom in return, and she says it’s not worth it. He says if the world isn’t real, what’s the harm? She says he has a point, but she knows better than to deal with him in any realm. He tells her that every Savior needs a villain, and that a real queen with purpose can remind Emma that the world needs a savior. Show her inner darkness, and the Savior will be reborn. Regina says they’re just old friends talking, so they haven’t made a deal. Rumpel says she doesn’t know the way back to Storybrooke. Regina wonders how he knows the name of the town she’s from, and he says he can find her a magic bean, but it will cost her. She opens the cell.

He says he needs fresh air and starts to go, but she asks about the bean. He tells her to meet him tomorrow at noon by the lake. He says if she wants to be an Evil Queen, she should look like one. In a puff of purple smoke, poof! she changes into an Evil Queen outfit. He tells her to go be evil.

In Storybrooke time, Gold sees Belle. She says he sped up her pregnancy and the fairies sped up her recovery. He tells her their son is gone; he’s not anywhere. He says he knows his words mean nothing, so he’ll give her actions. He gives Belle a card with Mother Superior’s number, so she can verify his story. Mother Superior isn’t doing too well. She’s been walloped by the Black Fairy who’s kidnapped Gideon.

Where fairy tales happen, everyone gathers for Prince Henry to be knighted. He makes his entrance wearing some really cool copper armor. Snow takes the infamous sword out, and she and David say the stuff you say when you knight someone. Before Henry can be dubbed, Regina as the Evil Queen pops in and says sorry she’s late. She throws the knights aside and freezes David and Snow, saying she vows to destroy their happiness. Emma asks her not to hurt her parents. Regina says hurting them is the point, unless she knows a hero who can stop her (wink-wink). Emma begs for mercy. Regina tells her to look for the hero, and when you find one, you know where to find us. The three disappear, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

In Storybrooke, the real Evil Queen confronts David. He tries to attack her, and she blows him back with magic. She tells him that he can’t kill her. He picks up the lamp, saying he can do something much worse. He rubs the lamp and Aladdin appears. He tells Aladdin that he has a new master. So back to my original question. She loses the one she has left now? Or is it just postponed? What are the lamp rules?

The Evil Queen tells David not to dabble in forces he doesn’t understand. Aladdin reminds him wishes come with a price. He says the only one paying a price will be her. He wishes the Evil Queen gets what she deserves. Nothing happens. Aladdin says he granted the wish. The Evil Queen says David wasted it. She wanted to tear the family apart and she did. She already has what she deserves. Okay, so doesn’t he have two more wishes now? This is the kind of nonsense I think about while watching this.

David rushes her, and she stops him mid-stride. Hook and Jasmine enter. Hook says they have the lamp and the Evil Queen is lost. She drops David, saying death is too good for him and she’d rather watch him suffer. She disappears, poof! You know the rest.

In the unreal world, the Evil Queen has the Charmings prisoner. Prince David says they always defeat her. Emma shows up with a box. Regina says she knew Emma would find the hero in her, but it’s the key to the kingdom. Emma wants to surrender. Regina says she doesn’t want the key; she just wants Emma to get back to Storybrooke. Emma says that was the name of the place in her dream. Regina says this is the dream, and she’s going to have to wake her. She takes David and Snow’s hearts and says stop her or they die. Emma says she’s not the Savior. Regina says she knows how to fight when she has to and crushes the hearts to dust. Emma starts to weep. Regina says she doesn’t remember and can’t fight. Henry comes in and says the Evil Queen will pay. Emma tries to stop him. He says he has the sword. Regina says she won’t fight, and Henry throws the sword at her. Emma stops it, surprising herself. Regina says she saved her. Emma says Regina came to this crazy land to save her, so it’s fair. She remembers. She asks if her parents are dead, and Regina reminds her that they’re not real. Emma thanks Regina, and says, but it was very dark. She tells Regina let’s go stop the real Evil Queen.

Walking the streets of Storybrooke at night, the Evil Queen says the town is almost tolerable when the peasantry is hidden away. A hooded figure comes out of Granny’s. She asks who the hell are you? and gets blown back. She starts to follow, and the hooded figure turns her into a cobra in a cage.

It’s time for Regina and Emma to go back, and Regina wonders where Rumpel is. Surprisingly, he shows up. He tells her to throw the bean and think of where she wants to go. He disappears, poof! in a puff of red smoke.

At the Charming’s Storybrooke apartment, David is worried that he’s like his brother. Hook tells him to grow up and kiss his wife. Jasmine comes in with the lamp, and suggests that David use it to break the curse with Snow. He gives it back to her, trusting she’ll be wise with it. She says that she and Aladdin have to find Agribah. Henry asks if she’s sure, and she says they have to make the sacrifice. Aladdin gives Henry a pendant for Emma, from one savior to another. Jasmine wishes to go to Agribah and they disappear. Okay, I wasn’t totally paying attention, but it was probably poof! in a puff of yellow smoke.

Grumpy comes in with the snake. He tells them it’s the Evil Queen and a guy in a hood put her in there. David asks if he saw who was under the hood.

The hooded figure comes into Gold’s shop. It’s Gold and Belle’s son, Gideon.

At the lake, Regina throws the bean and it turns into a green whirlpool. She and Emma are about to leap in, when arrows fly past them. It’s Robin. He says it’s a robbery and to give him their jewelry. Regina is mesmerized, seeing him again, and starts to walk toward him. Emma tells her he’s not real, but she doesn’t pay attention. The whirlpool disappears.

In March, a war is coming to Storybrooke where romance, danger and hope collide.

The Walking Dead

Michonne walks along the road, whistling Farmer in the Dell. A zombie lumbers out of the forest. And another. They trail behind her. She drops her bag, stabs one in the head and decapitates the other. She drags the headless one’s body away. Her radio sits unattended.

Jesus and Carl are in the back of the truck with the scotch. Jesus cuts open the bottom of one of the boxes. He opens one of the bottles and leaves a trail, like breadcrumbs. He tells Carl that they should bail and walk the rest of the way. He says to roll with the fall and stay in the blind spot. Jesus goes first and Carl waves good-by. Brat!

The truck stops. A guy picks up the box that Jesus cut, and the bottom falls out. Carl shoots a few people and says no one else needs to die, he just wants Negan. Negan comes out whistling (what’s up with that tonight?) and says he’s adorable. He asks if Carl picked the gun because it looks cool. A couple of people rush Carl and he shoots, but gets pulled down. Negan tells Dwight to back off, saying that’s no way to treat a new guest and he wants to show him around.

Negan tells Carl he has the same stank eye as his dad, but half as good since he only has one eye. What a card! We see the zombie target practice or whatever it is, and Daryl is in with the zombies. Negan asks him how the job is going. I hope it pays well. Carl lets Negan help him up. Dwight takes Daryl out to learn grub prep. Carl asks what he’s going to do to him. Negan tells him not to shatter his image of him as a bad-ass and says screw him if he thinks he’s going to ruin the surprise.

He taks Carl into a warehouse. A bunch of people are there they kneel when they see Negan. He tells them to work hard and play by the rules. He says everyone gets fresh vegetables tonight for dinner – no points needed. They applaud, and he tells Carl that respect is cool.

Eugene and Rosita walk to the gate. She says they aren’t doing anything for Negan. Spencer tells her not to fight it. Father Gabriel says maybe they should all go together. Spencer says they have to produce for the Saviors; it’s like taxes. He tells Rosita not to be pissed at him. He didn’t do this; Rick did. She tells him to pay his taxes from all the stuff he stole and leave her alone. She leaves with Eugene. Spencer gets into the car with Gabriel.

Negan shows Carl his harem. He tells him to knock himself out. He asks Sherry if he can talk to her. They step aside and he asks what happened with Amber and Mark she says what they talk about when he’s not there is none of his business. Wow. She’s brave. He tells her that he heard Mark skipped out on a directive and needs to know if it’s true. He says there are rules for a reason and nothing matters if you’re dead. She tells him to calm down, but he says he’s never hit any of them. She says what he does is worse. He smiles and says, to be continued.

Negan gives Carl a beer. Amber is crying. He tells her he doesn’t want anyone there who doesn’t want to be there. If she wants to leave and go back to Mark, she can. But she can’t cheat on him. He says there are plenty of gals who would like to take her place. He suggests he put her on the same job as Mark and her mom. I’m assuming they’re on zombie duty. She tells him no, and he says she knows what that means. She tells him she loves him and he says of course, and that it will all work out for her.

Negan tells Sherry that he wasn’t hard on her, and she calls him an a-hole. They start kissing. Dwight brings in Daryl, who’s job tonight is serving hors d’oevres. Daryl asks why Carl is here. Negan says what they talk about when he isn’t here is none of his business, and not to make him put the toothpick in his hand through the only eye Carl has. He tells Dwight to fire up the furnace. It’s time for deja vu. Daryl lingers and Dwight pulls him out the door.

Rick tells Aaron they only have today to find something. The climb over a fence that has a sign saying the only thing to be found there is trouble.

Spencer drives with Gabriel. He asks if thoughts are a sin, but Gabriel says they’re just thoughts; it’s our actions that matter in the end. Spencer says he hates Rick, and that his mother served in congress and brought out the good in people. Gabriel says Rick brought out the good in him by inspiring him; he kept everyone together. He says it wasn’t Rick’s fault. Gabriel says that Spencer looks at it a different way, but they’re here now and can look to the future. Spencer says what future? There isn’t any with Rick in charge. He says the only good thing that could happen is Rick not making it back. Gabriel tells him to stop the car.

He tells Spencer that what he’s saying doesn’t make him a sinner, but does make him a tremendous sh*t. Just for now; it doesn’t have to be terminal. He gets out of the car and says he’s going back. Spencer gets out and jets into the forest. He sees a zombie hunter up on a blind.

In Negan’s parlor, Carl asks Negan if the women are actually his wives. Negan says he thought why not make life better? He tells Carl to sit and says let’s get started. He wants to get to know Carl better. He says Carl is smart. He’d expect a kid his age to be moping around, but instead he has a mission. He came looking for Negan, but he’s not going to let things slide. He asks if Carl really wants to piss him off, and asks to see Carl’s non-eye. Carl takes his bandana off and Negan goes on about how gross it is. He asks to touch it. What is he, ten? He says it’s easy to forget Carl is just a kid, and he was just screwing around.

There’s a knock at the door. Fat Joseph brings Lucille in, telling Negan that he left it by the truck. Negan tells Carl that it might not be a hit with hit ladies, but no one will want to screw with someone who looks like him. He asks Fat Joseph if he treated Lucille like a lady. He makes a joke, Fat Joseph laughs, and Negan tells him get out. He tells Carl that this is the sh*t his dad should be teaching him – men busting each other’s balls. I could almost like this guy.

Negan asks what Carl does for fun and if he likes music. He wants Carl to sing. He says that Carl mowed down two of his men, and he wants something in return. Carl is like, no, and Negan points Lucille at him and says start singing. Carl starts to sing You Are My Sunshine. Negan swings the bat around as Carl sings badly. He tells Carl not to let him be a distraction. Carl starts crying and now I want to hit him with the bat. No offense to the teen and tween hearts that are going pitty-pat right now.

Carl finishes the song, and Negan says Lucille loves being sung to more than she loves bashing brains, and mentions how weird that is. It’s weird all right. He asks if Carl’s mother sang that to him, and where she is now. By Carl’s reaction, Negan knows she’s dead, and he asks if Carl saw it happen. Carl says he shot her before she could turn. Negan says no wonder he’s a serial killer in the making, and tells him that was an example of breaking balls. He tells Carl to get up, because it should be ready.

Dwight tends the furnace. The crowd is back in the warehouse. Negan comes in, banging Lucille along the banister. He tells Carl to hold the bat. He tells the people that they know the deal. What’s going to happen will be hard to watch. He doesn’t want to do this, but he has to. Why? Because rules keep us in line. They survive and provide security to others, which is civilization. To the world, they’re the Saviors, but they can’t do it without rules. Rules make it work. It’s not easy, but there’s always a cost. If you try to cut corners, it’s the iron for you. He tells everyone to get up from their kneeling positions.

Mark is tied to a chair and Negan approaches him. Dwight takes a literal iron from the fire. Negan says, sorry, but it is what it is. Mark gets on iron on his face, and even Dwight can’t look. Mark passes out. Negan says it wasn’t so bad. Carl and Daryl lock eyes. Negan says Mark peed himself and tells Daryl to clean it up. He tells the doctor to do his thing.

Negan tells the crowd everything is cool. Let Mark’s face be a daily reminder that the rules matter. He hopes they all learned something, because he doesn’t want to have to do this again. He says Carl probably thinks he’s a lunatic. He says let’s figure out what to do with you, and leads Carl away.

Spencer gets a rope. He jiggles the hunter’s plaform until his weapon falls. Poor dude is just hanging there, and Spencer finally gets him down and goes through his pockets. There’s a note in there that I can’t read, but Spencer finds it of interest.

Rosita and Eugene go to the auto shop or whatever it is. Eugene says he didn’t want to come back here, and tells her no. She says she asked him to make her a bullet and he said yes, so make one. He says he can’t figure out any way it makes sense, and wants her to slow her roll. She says she’s not waiting, and he tells her that she’s being stupid. He’s analyzed it top to bottom, and Abe was right; they have the numbers. He says even if she’s willing to pay the price, it’s unlikely she’ll be the one who pays it. She says he’s not talking her out of it. He owes her and Abe. She says he’s a coward and weak. The only reason he’s alive is because he lied, and people feel sorry for him. She tells him to do something useful and make her a bullet. Eugene gets the bullet-making stuff ready.

Sherry is in the stairwell having a smoke. Dwight joins her. He tells her not to beat herself up about selling out Mark. She says that’s not what happened. Okay, don’t tell us or anything. He says whatever helps you sleep at night. For him, it’s watching TV until morning. She leaves before they get caught.

Carl wants his bandana back on, and Negan says no; he’s not done with him and he likes looking at his rat-ass bad-ass eye. Ha-ha! If nothing else, Negan is colorful. Carl asks why he hasn’t killed him, Rick or Daryl. Negan says Daryl is going to make a good soldier, and Carl’s dad is already getting him great stuff. As for him, they’ll see. It’s more productive and fun to break him. He asks what Carl thinks he should do. Does he kill him, iron his face, chop off his arm, what? Carl says he should jump out the window to save him the trouble of killing him. Negan says there’s the kid he knows and loves. Carl says he’s not doing anything and won’t. He should kill them, but he can’t. Negan says maybe he’s right and decides they should go on a ride. I’m not sure what to think about this exchange.

Jesus is on the top of the truck that Negan and Carl pull out in. Negan calls Daryl over. He says he’s taking the kid home. Daryl says if you do anything to him – and Negan tells Dwight that Daryl needs a time out and to put him in the box for a while. Daryl looks up while he’s being led away. There’s no Jesus on the top when it leaves though.

A note is slipped under Daryl’s cell door. it says go now.

Zombie piles! There’s a blockade of zombies in the road, and a woman has to stop her car. Michone comes out of nowhere and tells her to drop her weapons. She asks if Michonne wants her shoes too. Michonne says take her to Negan. They get in the car. The woman breaks quickly and tries to get the better of Michonne, but that doesn’t happen. Michonne tells her again to take her to Negan.

In Alexandria, Negan visits Olivia. He’s all happy and asks where Rick is. She says scavenging for him, and he says he’ll wait. She says they might not be back today. They’re out of everything and practically starving. He notes her weight and says not really. He’s so obviously mean, it’s funny. She starts crying, and he tells her she has no sense of humor. He apologizes for being rude, and says he thinks it would be enjoyable to screw her brains out if she’s agreeable. She slaps him. He says he’s about 50% more into her now. Okay, I have to say at this moment he made me laugh out loud. He asks her to make them lemonade.

When she leaves, he tells Carl to take him on the grand tour. He plays with the water and a dartboard while we hear a country tune. He sees baby Judith and loves on her, doing the coochy-coo thing.

Rick sneaks around with Aaron. They see a sign with long explaination and warning. It says if they’ve goten this far without being shot, the dude is dead. Maybe. They see a lake or river with zombies bobbing around in it.

Rosita has her bullet. She thanks Eugene and says she’s sorry for what she said. He says maybe the words, but not the intent. She meant it, she felt it, that’s her truth, and he’d like silence now. She got what she wanted and is just feeling bad.

Spencer drives up with a load of cans. He says they got it off a dead guy, and found all kinds of stuff like medical supplies. Rosita says he’s just going to give it to them ? He says that’s what Rick said to do, so that’s what they’re going to do. The gate to Alexiandria is opened, and they see that Negan is there.

Negan is on the porch, rocking Judith. He tells Carl that he likes it there, and might have to stay. He wonders why he’s trying so hard to keep Carl and Rick alive. Maybe he should bury them in a flower bed and settle into the suburbs.

Next time, the mid-season finale…sigh…

👢 Quick Westworld mention. After making a few failed attempts at watching HBO’s new drama, I caught a marathon a couple of weekends ago. It took me a minute, but I decided I’m in. I thought they were a bit heavy on the sub-plots, but let that pass because it’s so damned fascinating. I love me some Ed Harris and James Marsden as well. Obviously, it’s a far cry from the 1973 film, which I probably saw ten times in the theater. I could watch Yul Brynner chase Richard Benjamin around all day, and it was a lot cheaper back then.  (Digression: I was blessed to see Yul Brynner in a revival of The King and I on Broadway in the late 70s. Shall We Dance? is forever burned into my mind as one of my all time favorite moments in theater.) I do have the same desire with the series as I did for the original film – I’d like to see more of the park. It’s touched on by both that there are other worlds, most notably Roman World and Midieval World, but we don’t see much of them. I’d like to see those explored further, and it’s been hinted at that this will happen. Sadly, I also heard that Westworld might not return until 2018. Like Nancy Kerrigan, I cry, why? why?