Monthly Archives: April 2017

Apr18

April 17, 2017 – A Painting Vanishes, an Auction is Silent, a Reunion Ends & Tubbers is Celebrated

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis tells Sam that she thought she was losing her mind, but she wasn’t. Sam wonders why Julian doesn’t just come forward, and Jason says he’s facing criminal charges. Jason is going to hunt him down.

Dillon takes pictures of the happy couple at the engagement party. Ned and Olivia kiss.

Tracy has put the covered painting on an easel in the den. Monica says she’ll have it removed later. Laura pops in, thanking Monica for the invitation. She wonders if they could mix hospital business with pleasure. Larry sees the mysterious masterpiece. He calls it their acquisition, because without him, Tracy wouldn’t have known about it. He thinks he should get 50% of the value, but Tracy says it was left to her by her father, and has nothing to do with him. He asks about a finder’s fee, and she says he’s drinking it.

Carly tells Sonny to leave or she’s calling the police. He says from what Michael said, Jax might be uncomfortable with that. Jax says he’s not proud of what he did, but doesn’t regret it. Carly says that Sonny would have done the same thing. Sonny says he would, but it’s what came after that’s the problem. Jax left them like sitting ducks for Nelle. Let’s just say it right now – isn’t that what Sonny did? Carly says that Jax had no reason to think Nelle had an ulterior motive, but Sonny did. Sonny says it was hard enough thinking he was responsible for Morgan’s death, but Jax could have avoided the outcome with Nelle. Carly says he’s blaming Jax. Jax made a mistake and should have told her, but the rest is on Sonny, and he’s blaming someone else. She tells Sonny he has to live with it. Dante knocks on the door looking for Sonny. Carly tells Sonny to do everyone a favor and leave with him.

Dante says he was hoping Michael was wrong about Sonny being there. Sonny talks smack about Jax. Jax tells Dante about buying the kidney, saying that he didn’t know Frank would hit up his own daughter for it, but even if he had known, he would have gone through with it. He would have done anything to save Josslyn. Sonny says he was going to use it as leverage, but since Dante is there, it’s time for Jax to pay up, and he’s recorded it. Dante wishes he could ignore it, but he can’t.

Ned thanks Tracy and Monica for the party. Olivia has brought bruschetta. Tracy is like, you brought food to a Quartermaine party? She says Cook will be insulted, thinking hers isn’t good enough. Larry says he’ll present it to Cook. Tracy says good luck, and Monica says they’re a special couple.

Tracy wants to unveil the painting. Monica balks, and Tracy says it could be a Picasso or Manet for all she knows. Monica asks if it is, and Tracy says no, but it’s a precious family heirloom. A smoke alarm goes off. Yeah, I see where this is headed.

Sam is concerned about Alexis being by herself. She says she’s seen Julian break Alexis. Alexis says Julian is her father, but Sam says not to use her for an excuse. Alexis says if Julian was going to hurt her, he would have done it. Jason wants to call Sonny, but Alexis says she’ll take care of it. Sam asks what If he shows up, and Alexis says she’ll cross bridge when she comes to it. Jason tells Sam he has an idea.

Julian hangs out at the docks looking stupid in a hoodie. One obviously not purchased from Zumiez.

The fire alarm continues, and Tracy says it’s Olivia’s fault. Cook probably set a fire in protest. They all leave to check things out, since no one smells smoke. Jason and Sam walk into the house, and the alarm stops. Sam says they need to see Dillon. Jason shows him the picture from the park, and Sam says it’s Julian, alive and well.

Julian looks at the picture he swiped from the album – he and Alexis in a red carpet moment. He flashes back to when they last got married.

Sonny asks Michael if he sent Dante over. Michael says that he didn’t want Sonny to do anything he’d regret. Sonny says they’re all adults who have to live with the consequences of their actions, even Jax. Michael asks what he did.

Dante says as much as he agrees with Jax’s motives, he has to arrest him. Josslyn walks in, and asks what Dante is doing to her father.

Sonny tells Michael that he confronted Jax. He admits he would have done the same thing in Jax’s place, but the difference is, he would have said something. Instead, Jax went back to Australia. No comment. Michael says that Jax didn’t perceive her as a threat. Sonny tells him not to make excuses. He tells Michael about getting the recording and giving it to Dante. Michael asks if he’s out of his mind.

Carly tells Josslyn that her dad is going to be fine. Dante says he won’t cuff him, but he has to come in. Josslyn asks if he’s under arrest, and Dante lets Jax talk to her. Jax tells her that he’s the one who arranged for her to get Nelle’s kidney. They weren’t sure if she was going to make it, so he did something illegal. He offered Nelle’s father money to help find a donor, and it’s his fault she came to town looking for revenge. Josslyn says because of him, she’s alive.

Julian meets a guy with tattoos on the docks who says it’s all arranged.

Dillon brings down his laptop and they look at photos from the park. They see another one where Julian is giving an envelope to a guy. Sam says the tattoo seems familiar, and remembers Hooper who has boats for hire, usually for illegal purposes.

Alexis wanders around the docks because that’s the place to be in Port Charles. She flashes back to the aftermath of the wedding, and Julian saying he loves her.

Dante says they have to go. Jax tells Josslyn it will be fine. He says he broke the law and told himself if it ever came out, he wouldn’t run. He tells Carly he’s sorry. She tells him he has nothing to apologize for, and thanks him for saving Josslyn’s life. Josslyn tells Dante that he knows it’s not right. Carly says she knows Josslyn is hurting, but her father has to go with Dante. Jax tells her not to be scared. He leaves with Dante.

Sonny tells Michael that he doubts it will go to trial. If Jax spends two days in jail, he’ll be surprised. Michael asks what if he’s wrong. and he send Josslyn’s father to prison for saving her life? I see we now have idiot Sonny totally back again.

Dillon gives Jason a printout the picture. He tells Kiki it’s just another night in Port Charles. Not yet if they haven’t been to the docks. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she’d like several. Larry asks where everyone has been. Tracy explains about the fire alarm, but he says he was out walking the grounds and didn’t hear it. Ned asks about Cook, and Larry says she wants Olivia’s recipe. Monica toasts to Olivia joining the family. She says Olivia is going to breathe new life into the house, and make it into a home again. Tracy is snarky, and Monica says she got the same treatment. Tracy says to be fair, Monica did sleep with her husband’s nephew. Everyone is like, eww! and Monica asks if they can focus on the here and now. She asks if Ned and Olivia would like the west wing. If not, Tracy can move out of the east wing. Tracy protests, and Monica reminds her that the deed is in her name. Tracy says there’s something she’d like to do with the deed, and Monica suggests it’s the same thing she wants to do with the easel.

Alexis lingers at the docks. She remembers Julian holding a knife to her throat. Julian appears. For real.  I think.

Josslyn asks Carly what’s going to happen, and Carly explains. She says that Jax’s lawyer will make arrangements for bail. Josslyn asks why Dante was there, and Carly says Michael called him, but it’s complicated. She says she and Sonny have been fighting, and sometimes when Sonny gets angry, he doesn’t make the best decisions. She’s sorry she let everything get out of control, but Josslyn says not to apologize for Sonny. She hopes Carly sees the truth and never goes back to him.

Michael thought Dante could get through to Sonny, but didn’t think Sonny would have Jax arrested. He says he doesn’t care what Jax did, Sonny should have covered for him. He reminds Sonny about all the times Carly covered for him, and he committed crimes; he didn’t save a life. He chose the wrong way to hurt them. He tells Sonny that he’d better pray he can clean it up, because if Jax goes to prison, no one is going to forgive him. The cheese Sonny stands alone yet again.

Jax is sorry that Dante got dragged in. Dante wonders where the justice is. Jax crossed the line to save his daughter’s life, and he understands, but the line exists for a reason. Jax realizes that if it didn’t, the poor people would be at a disadvantage. He says that those are the questions he asks himself. Did his actions keep another child from being saved? Probably not. I doubt Frank would have just decided to sell Nelle’s kidney all on his own.

Tracy asks what the painting has done to Monica, and Monica says it’s the owner. Ned and Dillon think it has something to do with Luke. Monica says the only time Tracy was really happy was with him. Tracy points out that Laura is sitting there, but Laura says she and Luke are ancient history. Tracy suggests changing the subject, and says she’s happy for Ned and Olivia. Her son is happy, and it’s all a parent wants for their children. She thanks Olivia. Olivia says she’s honored to be joining the family, and Tracy says, perfect segue.

Tracy tells everyone that she took a journey with a dear friend and found a treasure – a letter from her father that spoke of his love for her. Monica says it must have meant a lot. Tracy tells her that it did, and he left her something else as a tangible expression of his devotion to her. He wanted her to have a portrait, passed down through ages, that bears an uncanny resemblance to her. She lifts the cover off of the portrait, and in its place is a clown painting on velvet. Like we didn’t see that coming.

Sam and Jason go to the docks. Jason says there’s no sign of anything, and Sam suggests that Julian is halfway to Canada by now. She sees Alexis’s scarf on the ground and picks it up.

Tomorrow, Larry has the painting (no surprise), the crying girl from the monastery is looking for Tracy, and Julian and Alexis get busy.

Southern Charm

I might not like Cameran (our narrator) all that much, but I sure do like her gigantic earrings.

At the Ravenel Construction Group, we see Thomas actually doing some work. Cameran is at the gym with Chelsea. She says that she lives off of gas station food, and wants to take charge of her health. She tells Chelsea that she heard she and Shep had an overnight. Chelsea says they didn’t get nakey, but Cameran has hope. She tells Chelsea to make him work for it, and Chelsea says right now, things are just PG.

Landon (blech!) meets Craig for lunch. Craig is doing media inserts for a charity that his girlfriend got him involved with. His goal is to be a philanthropist and not have to work anymore. Good luck with that. Or as they say in the South, bless your heart. Naomie calls, and asks if he’s finished everything. She’s picking up donations, and headed to Shep’s place. Craig tells Landon that Shep is going out of town for a wedding, and can’t make it to the upcoming polo match.

Shep gives Naomie his donation. The fundraiser is for the people of Haiti, and Shep wonders if Craig even knows where that is.

He knows where the good shrimp are though. His lunch looks fantastic.

Naomie asks Shep what happened at Landon’s website launch. He says he hoped he gave her constructive criticism. Naomie asks if he made her cry. Shep tells her that sometimes Landon gets ahead of herself and needs to be knocked down a peg. I thought he was very diplomatic and gave her good advice.

Craig tells Landon it wasn’t Shep’s place to tell her that stuff, and Landon thinks he was being a bully. Craig says when Shep lectured him, he felt like he was on the playground in sixth grade. He was definitely harsher with Craig, but even though I didn’t entirely agree with what he said, I thought it was out of concern.

Naomie says part of her is like, f-u to Shep, but in his interview, Shep says friendship means sometimes telling someone what they don’t want to hear. Probably the other part of Naomie knows that’s true. Shep asks what he should do, just let his friends get more delusional?

Whitney exercises pug Chauncey, while Patricia packs a suitcase without Michael, who’s on vacation. She says you can never be undereducated or underdressed according to Oscar Wilde. Whitney tells her that he’ll hold down the fort. He tells Patricia that Chauncey needs Jenny Craig, and she wonders if she should invent Spanx for dogs.

Kathryn has an appointment with a modeling scout. She’s modeled in the past, and wants to get back in the game. The scout asks for pictures, but Kathryn says she needs to update her portfolio. Using her tablet, she shows the scout a bunch of photos from back in the day. She says Kathryn is older now, and will be in a different bracket. She needs new photos, and the scout encourages her to get in the best shape that she can. She also suggests Kathryn doing a shoot with her children, because agencies are looking for the family thing. In her interview, Kathryn says this is the ultimate punch in the gut, since she can’t even see the kids right now.

Thomas practices saluting Landon in the mirror. In his interview, he says had he pursued someone more mature than Kathryn, his life might be different. He hopes it isn’t too late. Landon arrives, and Thomas makes drinks. Landon says she hasn’t been at his house since the night he kicked them all out. We flash back to that. Best. Night. Ever. Thomas suggests sitting on the porch.

Landon says it was good to hear from him. Thomas tells her that he wants to do an event at the plantation, and he’d like her input. He also wants to catch up. She says with the rumor mill churning, she didn’t even want to be around him in public. She thinks the dust has settled now, and they can be friends and do things together again. In her interview, she says the only thing she’s after is companionship. She asks about Kathryn, and Thomas says she passed her drug test so she can have supervised visits. He says what he does with his personal life is none of her business. In his interview, he says he’d like to have a stepmother for his children. He tells Landon that he’s looking for a woman with a pleasant personality, and says she has no problem in that department. She laughs like a hyena. Thomas clearly has a different definition of pleasant than I do.

Naomie tells Craig that he’d do better in life if he got things done ahead of time. He tells her that he works better under stress – a favorite excuse of procrastinators – and not to take it personally. In his interview, he says he’s able to reason worry out of his brain, so he doesn’t get stressed. Oh brother. Although he’ll probably live longer than most of us. In the car, Naomie tells him about her conversation with Shep, and that she felt they behaved like adults, and understood where the other one was coming from. Craig says Shep is manipulative, like an abusive husband. He doesn’t think Shep making Landon cry was acceptable either. He says Shep is out of control. Huh?

The guys meet at a bar. They run into Thomas’s neighbor, who Shep has also hooked up with. Thomas says there’s a lot of cross-pollination in Charleston. She and Thomas are also cousins. And Thomas is also related to Shep. Now it’s getting creepy. Shep apologizes for not being able to make the polo match. He asks who’s planning it, and Thomas tells him Landon is, since she’s good at planning parties. Thomas thinks Shep is in love with her, and Shep nearly chokes. He says he’s forgotten more than Thomas has gotten, and is definitely not looking for a relationship.

They move on to another bar, where a female patron is having her 21st birthday party. Shep and Austen chat with her. Both Daisy and Whitney show up, and another girl named Bree, who just broke up with her boyfriend. In his interview, Austen says that he’s open to finding the right girl, but Shep, not so much. Bree takes Daisy to find some “real men” at the bar. I’m not sure what she means, but she’s flirting with Thomas. Did she mean old guys? From a distance, it looks like Thomas blows her off, and Whitney is like, wise choice.

Naomie and Craig get last minute preparations together for the fundraiser. Craig unrolls the background for the entrance. Naomie is in a really cute bathrobe with animal ears on the hood. Craig is digging around for a laptop mouse, and Naomi has to jet. Hey, there’s the cat. Maybe he can help Craig find the mouse. I had to.

Cameran, in another pair of incredible, HUGE earrings, visits Whitney. Whitney tries to get the dogs under control, and in her interview, she says when Michael is away, everyone has to fend for themselves, and it’s crazy. She tells Whitney that he’s like Kevin from Home Alone. Thomas calls. Whitney asks what was up with Daisy. Thomas says he doesn’t know, but he has to find a real woman. Cameran and Whitney agree. Cameran asks if he’s coming to Naomie’s fundraiser, but he doesn’t want any clashes with Kathryn. Whitney hangs up, and Cameran says Thomas has seen the light, and is on an upward projectory. I’m not even sure that’s a word.

Whatever Craig needs to print isn’t happening, and it’s 45 minutes until the fundraiser. It’s something for the silent auction, and Naomie is getting pretty nervous. Craig works on his hairdo, and talks to the cat.

Craig gets to the bar, and tells Naomie everything is fine. She looks through the bags, and says they’re missing some sheets, and she wants him to get them printed now. He complains that he’s the one getting screwed, and Naomie tells him he’s screwing himself, and not to blame other people. Yep. She looks at him like a fixer-upper, and that’s never a good idea.

Naomie has to hand write some things, which annoys her. In her interview, she says they have different planning styles. That’s one way to put it. She says everything always works out because there’s always someone to pick up the slack. She tells Craig that they’re cool.

Naomi’s parents are French, so the three of them throw shade at Craig in their native language. Her mother tells her all men are the same. Ha-ha! Everyone is drinking and having a good time. Landon’s friend tells her that she’s glad Shep isn’t there, since he made Landon cry. Landon says she doesn’t think he even has a real job. This is so stupid. It’s not even like she did cry over it. She didn’t listen to one thing he said, got mad, and stormed out. Everyone must tiptoe around this girl.

Whitney tells Cameran that Shep and Chelsea hooked up, claiming that Shep told him. Cameran isn’t too sure if Whitney is telling her the truth, since he’s a sick freak. She tells Chelsea what Whitney said, and Chelsea says Cameran knows she’d tell her. Whitney calls Shep, who denies saying anything of the sort. Whitney tells Cameran she looks hammered. Cameran thinks it’s time to go home.

Naomie talks to a friend of Craig’s from school who’s practicing law now. He says from the internet, it looks like Craig is a great gardener. Craig joins them, and says he thinks they went past their goal. He and Naomie love each other again.

Chelsea talks to Austen about his love life. She asks what he’s looking for in a woman, and he flirts, describing her. He asks for her number.

Next time, the polo match happens, Chelsea goes out with Austen, and Thomas won’t let Kathryn see the kids.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part Three

Andy grills Stassi about her dating life, and she says she feels like a loser. Andy thought things with Peter might get rekindled after their kiss. They talk about the bachelor/ bachelorette weekend in NOLA. Katie says she’d wanted harmony, but was under too much stress. Schwartz says the angst about Tom and Ariana was a surface trigger. Tom says blah-blah-blah, and Katie says the only one she’d take relationship advice from in this room is Lisa. Good choice.

We revisit Jax’s apology to Stassi. Stassi says it wasn’t so much the cheating, but how it trickled down to other things. She was thrilled to hear him finally own it. Andy asks Brittany how she felt, and she says it was hard for her to watch, when she wants the same thing from him. Jax says he’s a better person since he met Brittany. Once again, the shoemaker’s kids go barefoot.

Andy asks Schwartz if there was any moment when he wasn’t drinking during the bachelor/bachelorette weekend. Schwartz says he was browned out for 80% of the trip. Jax says he never saw Schwartz so upset, and was afraid Schwartz was going to hurt himself. James points out that this is coming from Jax. We see Schwartz getting emo during the gator watching trip. Ariana says it’s the last thing she expected. Jax is called out for trying to get Schwartz to postpone the wedding. Tom gets all loud, talking about how Katie was running the show all summer, and the girls were all bowing down to her. Somehow this leads to a discussion about who looked the best in drag.

Andy points out how Kristen chose that moment to sit Schwartz down for a talk about the Vegas girl from the past. Kristen says if it hadn’t been for her, they might never have addressed the issue, and I have to agree that she has a point. It really made all the difference, and totally turned everything around. Kristen and Tom get into a heated exchange. Tom talks about how Kristen cornered Schwartz. Stassi talks about waking up to two guys in drag arguing about looking like Sia. Andy talks about the roller-coaster ride of emotion that Schwartz went through, and we see the clip of Tom calling him a battered wife. Andy asks if it ruined his bachelor party, Schwartz says you’d think it would have, and I laugh.

Kristen says no one understood how Katie felt, and Katie concurs that it was devastating. Katie says it was up to her to put the pieces back together along with Schwartz. Schwartz says that he inherited a lot of baggage as well. Lisa thinks it was ridiculous how Jax tried to convince everyone that Schwartz had slept with the past Vegas girl, even though they weren’t there. Schwartz says he didn’t remember, but doubts anything could have happened. Katie says she can move past it, but it took a long time to repair the trust. She pushed a lot of feelings aside that were still there.

Lisa says she had no idea how bad it was until she saw the show, although she knew things weren’t going well. She says she was right in originally turning them down to officiate. It was difficult because she loves them, but she couldn’t give a potential disaster her blessing. We flash back to the arguments between Katie and Schwartz in Vegas. Lisa says they’d lost respect for each other, and she wanted them to understand the seriousness of the commitment. Katie says they didn’t know how to get it back, and Andy says it was amazing to watch the turnaround. Ariana proclaims that they were meant to be together, and she knew it was going to happen. Schwartz says they’re the only original couple left. Andy wonders who’s next to get married.

We discuss the wedding weekend — $51,000 later. Lisa says it wasn’t the way she rolls, but nothing about it was conventional, and it was who they are. We flash back to Schwartz’s surprise of his triplet brothers arriving. He says it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for him, and he was really surprised. It meant a lot to his brothers too.

Andy points out that Katie kept her cool when her dress wasn’t quite fitting, and Katie says it was the only time she second-guessed the Taco Tuesday themed rehearsal dinner. Andy asks if she’s happy to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz, and she corrects him that it’s Mrs. Bubba Maloney-Schwartz. Andy asks Lisa what was most emotional for her. She says Schwartz’s vows, and we flash back to that. Schwartz says he wrote the vows while the groomsmen were putting their suits on. We flash back to Tom using the dog as a hanky during the ceremony. Andy points out that even Jax got choked up, and Jax says how could you not? Well, I didn’t.

Tom and Ariana’s relationship is discussed. Ariana says he has all the feels, but she tends to retreat when he gets marriage-minded. Schwartz says it was one of the happiest days of his life, and he was happy to share it with everyone.

We move on to James’s DJ career. Andy reads a list of James’s woes, and we flash back to them. Jax was happy to get James thrown out of his gig. Kristen talks smack about James, and he tells her to shut up, telling her she’s irrelevant. She points out that he had a vodka/soda at lunch and he admits he did, but only one. Moving on.

Andy says Shay is going to join them, and Scheana gets a little weird about that. She says the break-up was for the best, but she doesn’t want to see him. During the break, Stassi tells Scheana that they have her back. Five…four…three…

Shay says he’s nervous. He’s living with his parents now, and we flash back to the wedding. He and Scheana haven’t seen each other in four months, and are still waiting for the divorce to be finalized. Andy asks if Scheana was consciously hiding their problems, and she says it was Katie’s wedding, and she didn’t want to bring her business into it. She starts to cry. She accuses Shay of lying to her about buying drugs. He denies it, and Scheana talks about him withdrawing money out of their account. He claims it was for the business, and says she always held the money over his head, since it was mostly hers.

Andy asks what happened when Shay decided not to come home the first time, and why he didn’t communicate. Shay says that Scheana doesn’t listen. Lisa says that even though she didn’t understand it, Scheana worshipped him, and her world revolved around him. Kristen says she saw Scheana trying hard, but it seemed like Shay had given up. Shay says he’d always been working toward something, and his band is going on tour with Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Jax says they’re both good people, but it just didn’t work. Shay looks all wistful. Ariana says she feels like she’s never really heard from him; he just ghosts. She doesn’t hear from him now either. He just gets all teary and looks at the ceiling.

Shay says they grew apart. He quit drinking for a year, but was expected to still go out. Scheana says he said it was fine, and he says later on it got difficult. Andy asks when things went south, and Scheana says that three months in, she found out about the pills. She says she also caught him texting another girl. Tom asks Shay why, and Shay says maybe it was more than friendship, but he found a connection that he didn’t have with Scheana. Both Scheana and Shay say they’re uncomfortable.

Andy asks if there was more than sexting going on, and Scheana says it turned into other issues like a lack of communication. Shay talks about her running to Lisa on camera about his addiction, and not talking to him first. Scheana says he hurt her, and she hurt him back. Shay says he wouldn’t have brought up his addiction issues on the show, and he was forced to tell everyone. He says he’s been labeled now. Scheana says she’s a “home-wrecking whore,” and that you get labeled, and that’s how it is. She’s right. This is what they signed up for. When Scheana talked to Lisa, it was obviously a difficult, spontaneous moment. Scheana says she wouldn’t have divorced him, and stayed in a marriage that wasn’t great. Shay says he went along with everything and wanted to keep trying, but she divorced him on camera. Scheana says that she found out he was buying pills and lying to her again, and she was done.

Evil Andy asks if Scheana having a new boyfriend bothers Shay. Shay thinks it’s quick, but Scheana says he knows him from Instagram, and she’s been friends with him for over ten years. We see pictures. He’s pretty cute, and looks like a grown-up. Andy asks if Shay is seeing anyone, and he says he’s still technically married. Scheana says it’s just a piece of paper at this point. Shay says he’ll always love her and be there for her, but he’s over their relationship. Coming there was something he had to do. It was harder than he thought, but he’s glad he did it. Andy asks if Scheana gets closure from Shay saying he loves her and will be there for her. She says she thinks he’s in his happy place, and she’s in her happy place, so she’s happy for him, but nobody looks very happy. Andy says he hopes they have some peace. Schwartz says that the both of them are happier apart than they would have been together. They say good-by, and wish each other good luck. Shay leaves the magic circle.

In our final moments, Andy commends James on his 18-hour day, sitting next to Jax. That is way too long. I’d read that the Housewives reunions are 12-hours, and I think that’s too much. He asks Lisa about opening the new bar, and asking Tom to be a part of it. Tom says he gets emotional thinking about it, and will someone stop this guy from crying already? We flash back to Schwartz wanting to duck and run when Lisa suggested including him. Schwartz says he didn’t want to tarnish Lisa’s name, and Katie says he doesn’t know his potential. Andy says if they don’t get their act together, it will end up Lala’s Lounge instead of Tom-Tom. Andy shows a clip of Lisa and Stassi booty-bumping at the wedding.

We end with Ken, puppies, Peter, and cocktails. Giggy! Harrison! Schnookie! Peter with Pumptinis! Lisa toasts to everyone, and says she loves them, even though she doesn’t always show it.

🎂 I would love to see French bulldog Tubbers from Sweet Home Oklahoma get his own show. Pumps came to Tubbers’ birthday party dressed like a roaring 20s flapper, because she’d been told it was a costume party. She was the only one who was told that. My karaoke group once had a pajama night, and I was afraid I might be the only one who showed up in them. I wasn’t. The party for Tubbers was a surprise party, although it was hard to say whether he was actually surprised. This show reminds me of Don’t Be Tardy. It’s a lot of fun and not mean-spirited at all. You can’t help but smile while watching it.

🐮 An extra observation. After successfully pulling off this prank, Jennifer said, “If you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.” This is the second time I’ve heard that in as many weeks. Shep said it on Southern Charm last week. Is this a thing now?

 

Apr17

April 16, 2017 – A Curse is Lifted, Suicide Squad is Okay by Me, Potomac Goes to the Races & Atlanta Reunites

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

In Neverland, the Lost Boys chase Hook. He slides down a hill and is surrounded. He says he has treasure and rum, but they want him to pay for what happened to Peter Pan. All of a sudden, the boys drop like flies. Tiger Lily is in the shadows with a blowgun, and reveals herself. She says she never expected to see Hook back again, and he says it wasn’t planned. He thanks her for the rescue, and she pokes him in the neck with a dart.

David tells Emma they never would have put her in the wardrobe if they’d known all this was going to happen. Henry tells her it’s going to be okay, and she says she knows. David tells Regina that the story can’t end like this; Emma can’t go into the final battle without her family. Regina says she’ll have to make do with just one of them. She’s working on breaking the curse, but it might be dangerous or life-threatening. David says whatever she has, it has to work. It’s not like it’s their first time. We flash back to a few other curses the Evil Queen has laid on them.

Snow/Mary strolls through parallel Storybrooke, but everyone is in bad moods. Archie claims Pongo is off gluten. She runs into Regina, and asks if there’s any news about a John Doe in the hospital. Regina says it looks like he may never wake up. Snow ditches the flowers she was bringing to the hospital, and sees a bloom through the cracks of the sidewalk.

Snow brings the flower to David. It makes purple sparkles in the air. The machine he’s attached to goes off, and he opens his eyes. He struggles to get out of bed, asking where the Evil Queen is. He says the guards stabbed him, and the curse brought them there. He tells “Mary” that Snow White is in there somewhere, and somewhere inside, she knows he loves her. She takes his hand, and calls him Charming.

In regular Storybrooke, Snow tells Regina that they have to do this now. Regina says it’s going to hurt. Zelena and Regina take the combined heart of Snow and sleeping David, and put the halves into a potion. When the hearts are done basting, the witches return them, but Snow keels over. Zelena says the magic weakened the hearts. A revived Snow says that Emma will have to fight the final battle without them.

At the parallel hospital, David asks for Grumpy’s help. Snow tells Grumpy (calling him Leroy) to pay no attention to this mental patient she found wandering around. Snow tells David that it’s called a curse for a reason, and everyone else doesn’t know about it. She gives him clothing to change into. He says he put Emma in the wardrobe, so she must be there too. She suggests they find Gold, and tells him to meet her at an abandoned farmhouse in an hour. Snow tells Regina that David was sleepwalking and headed into the woods.

In standard Storybrooke, David shows Emma a video Snow left. She says they have to work together. David tells Emma that her mother found a way to break the curse, but didn’t know it. He shows them a picture of some flower petals, and Zelena recognizes them as pixie petals. She tells them that the enemy is already there.

The Black Fairy shows up at Gold’s shop along with Gideon. Gold says Gideon concocted a ruse to bring the fairy there, and Gideon says that one day he might understand. Belle comes out from the back, and tells Gideon he can still come back to them. Gold tries to make magic, but the fairy stops him with the dagger. She says she practically invented dark magic, but she won’t force him to do anything. When he joins them, it will be because he wants to, and then they can be the family they were meant to be. She and Gideon disappear, poof! in a puff of silver smoke.

In strange Storybrooke, David goes to Gold’s shop. He doesn’t think Gold is under the curse, and wants to know where Emma is. Gold doesn’t know what he’s talking about. David says they’ll have to find Emma on their own, but Gold says maybe he can help. Hearing Emma’s name was the appropriate wake-up call, and now he gets what’s going on. David knows that Emma is destined to break the curse, but doesn’t know where she is. Gold tells him that the pixie dust can reunite anyone who shares true love.

Back in the sort of real world, David says they need Snow’s tracking skills to find the flower, so he has to go to sleep. He knows Hook is out there fighting for Emma too.

Tiger Lily smacks Hook awake. He’s tied up in a cave. He says someone’s life is depending on him getting out of there, but Tiger Lily needs him to deliver something to another realm. He says his love is in danger. She doesn’t believe he could possibly fall in love. She shows him a piece of driftwood and says it’s really a weapon, and the only chance of winning the coming war. He says it’s not their war, but she says there’s a great darkness on the horizon, and the Savior will die without it. He says that’s the woman he loves, and tells her to look in his pocket. She takes out the ring. Tiger Lily says the Black Fairy is in Storybrooke, and this is the Savior’s only hope to defeat her. Hook asks if she has any magic, and she says Pan might, but the Lost Boys outnumber them. He says they don’t stand a chance.

No one can find David in sleeping Storybrooke. Snow says they haven’t looked everywhere in the woods. Regina suggests Archie and Pongo check the mines. When they’re out of sight, Regina reveals an electrical box. She says the tunnel is rigged for demolition; one push it all comes down. She says Snow and John Doe are both awake, which means the curse isn’t working. Snow/Mary claims she was just doing her rounds at the hospital. Regina says Snow is a hero, who would never let the cricket die, but Mary has never stood up to her. She asks what it’s going to be. Snow clutches a pair scissors. The townspeople arrive, and Regina backs off of the box. Snow disappears.

Sliding sideways, Snow and Emma find a small field of pixie dust flowers. Snow says they grow in the presence of evil. The Black Fairy appears, and says she’s been waiting to meet Emma. They’ve been destined to clash since the beginning of time. Gideon joins them. Emma asks if this is it, and the Black Fairy says everyone will know when the final battle begins. Gideon makes the flowers disappear. Emma shoots an arrow at the Black Fairy and Gideon, but they both disappear, poof! in a puff of black smoke.

Tiger Lily explains to Hook that the weapon is what banished Black Fairy to the realm where she was trapped, and that she was once a fairy. Hook asks why she gave it up, like it was tennis or something. She says she failed in stopping the Black Fairy, so she hung up her wings, and took refuge in Neverland. She points out a tree that contains the sap Hook needs to find Emma. The Lost Boys are having a Burning Man Festival, and Tiger Lily shoots an arrow at them. They run after her. Hook hooks the tree and gets the sap. One of the boys sees him, and sounds an alarm. Hook gives his own shadow the driftwood to give to Emma. He drops down into a cluster of the Boys.

David and Snow meet at the farmhouse in parallel Storybrooke. She says Regina is on to them, and gives him the flower. Gold shows up. He says they’re awake, but everyone else asleep. Gold tells David that if they find Emma now, the curse won’t be broken, and everyone will stay asleep. He gives them a vial, and says it will put David and Snow back to sleep, and make everything right again. He says the potion is the only way forward.

In real Storybrooke, Emma knows she can’t change her destiny, and tells Snow it’s not their fault. Snow says there’s something she doesn’t know. They see a pixie dust flower peeking out from the snow.

In snoozing Storybrooke, Snow sprinkles the pixie dust into her hand. David tells her to think about Emma and let the magic do the rest. She throws the dust in the air, and a door appears. David opens it. They see young Emma in her bedroom, reading. Snow says if they go through the door, she won’t be the Savior. David tells her that Emma will have new destiny with them. Snow remembers that Regina said Snow is a hero who wouldn’t let anyone suffer to get what she wants, and she’s right. She can’t sacrifice everyone else’s happiness for her daughter. She says everyone is separated from those they love, and they can’t sentence them to that forever. They have to believe that Emma strong enough to grow up without them. David wishes she wasn’t right. Snow tells Emma that they’ll see her again, and closes the door.

She tells David there isn’t much time, and starts to cry. She didn’t think they’d be saying good-by so soon. He says he’ll always find her. She says one day, Emma will find them. They kiss. He drinks the potion, and falls asleep. Then Snow drinks it.

Regina messes with the pixie dust in original Storybrooke. She gives it to Snow, and Hook’s shadow flies in, and gives her the weapon. She asks where Hook is, and the shadow drops his hook at her feet. She says there’s something wrong, and asks where he is again. The show touches her cheek and disappears. Henry says they’ll find him. She says they don’t know where he is. Snow says the magic can open the door to Hook, and explains how they used it in the past. Emma says they had to do what was right for everyone else. Snow says today she’s putting Emma first. She says they can’t allow Hook to be taken, after they’ve already taken so much. Not before the final battle.

The Lost Boys sentence hook to death for his crimes against Peter Pan. The door appears, and Emma pops out. She and Tiger Lily kick ass. Emma and Hook go through the door and Tiger Lily jets.

Emma gets Hook back to Storybrooke, and says she got his message. He says he should never have run away, but she says tells him that she didn’t make it easy. He says there’s something he has to do before he gets pushed to another portal. He takes out the ring and proposes. He says he’ll always be by her side. She says no. Just kidding. She says yes, and they kiss. He puts the ring on her finger. He says it’s time he faced her father, but David is asleep. Emma explains that they went into a sleeping curse so she could save him.

Regina says there might be another way, but it’s risky.

Everyone gathers together. Regina says once Snow and Charming had a chance to find their own happiness, they chose the good of everyone there. She wants the people to do something for them now. She shows them a chalice, and says if they share the curse, they might dilute its power. Hook takes a sip; then Regina and Emma. The chalice is passed around. Grumpy says he could use a nap. These people are taking some pretty big sips. It must be an endless cup.

Snow and David’s eyes open. They hug and kiss. He says she did it, and she says she didn’t do anything. They find Hook and Emma asleep, but they slowly wake up, along with everyone else. Hook asks if Emma told David his secret. David says Hook is a changed man now, and they’ve all seen it, and everyone is all happy. Regina says it wouldn’t have worked if Snow hadn’t inspired them – she gave up her family. Snow says she did it for a better one, and they’ll defeat the Black Fairy. She tells Emma that she won’t be facing the fairy alone.

Gold meets the Black Fairy. He asks why she gave the dagger back to him. She tells him that he has to choose to be part of this family. He says she has Gideon’s heart, and tells her about Gideon keeping the flower alive as a way of resisting her. He has his mother in him. Gold says he’ll get Gideon’s heart back. The Black Fairy tells him that if he comes at her, there might be nothing left of the town when they’re done. He says he’s willing to pay that price.

Next time, Zelena isn’t afraid of the Black Fairy and vows to kills her, and an ultimate sacrifice will be made.

💣 Suicide Squad

Although I’d wanted to see Suicide Squad in the movies, it never happened. I really shouldn’t complain, since I have 500+ FIOS channels that I pay dearly for, and probably should watch something other than BRAVO. From what I’d read, this film was panned by the critics, but I enjoyed it a lot.

As a kid, I read both the Superman and Batman comics, as well as some other random ones. Doom Patrol was, and remains, my favorite. By the time these characters came along, my comic reading days were long gone. Out of the Squad members, Harley Quinn got high marks, as she brought to mind another favorite from back in the day, Batman’s Poison Ivy. When my friends and I used to act out our comic books – what do you expect from someone who started The Rocky Horror Picture Show cult? – I was always Poison Ivy. Since I’m not part of today’s comic scene, I had no expectations, which might have made a difference in my perception. I had no reference material to compare this with.

The plot was okay. It dragged in spots, and the whole Enchantress business isn’t exactly my thing, but while plot can be a plus, that’s not my reason for watching an action picture. I’m there for the action, colorful characters, and maybe a few good one-liners. On that, the movie delivered.

I also liked the subplot of Deadshot’s relationship with his daughter, and thought Will Smith’s performance was excellent. The costumes, the explosions, the effects – it was all good. And the soundtrack was fabulous. There was a lot of noise about the Joker not being in it all that much, compared to his presence in the previews, but I thought it was just enough. Jared Leto’s portrayal was so over-the-top, any more of it would have been overkill. I’d also heard that he took his Joker persona into his off-time on set, which gave it an extra eww! for me, since I find actors who do that rather creepy.

It’s on rotation on HBO now. If you’re paying for it, might as well watch it. It’s a lot of fun and you could do worse.

🏛 On tonight’s The Real Housewives of Potomac, the ladies went to the Preakness, and of course wore hats. I went to the Belmont Stakes once. I’d never been to the racetrack before, and was surprised that a race takes about two seconds. I didn’t wear a hat, and I didn’t win anything, except a drunk guy trying to pick me up outside of the ladies room. True story. Ashley is finding out that the restaurant business isn’t as easy as she thought, like every single restaurant owner on Kitchen Nightmares. Charisse is having some renovations done on her house, and I have to admit that I sometimes wonder what it’s like to be wealthy enough to be able to add a “fierce champagne room” to my home.

🍑 The excruciatingly long, four-part The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion has begun. The women all look gorgeous, although I’m not loving Porsha’s dress. It looks like she’s wearing a kimono ten sizes too big for her. A sparkly kimono. Sheree also keeps pulling up the top of her strapless number. Is she wearing She by Sheree? Although dumb as a post, Porsha got my vote for quote of the night: Andy…he’s messy. Out of the mouths of stupid. Things didn’t start escalating until almost the end, when Kandi and Porsha started to get into it. Most of the show was nonsense talk, but it looks like Porsha will be the one walking off this reunion. Probably not next week. I’m guessing that’s the carrot being dangled to get us to watch all four parts.

Apr15

April 14, 2017 – Sonny Blames Jax, Some Quotes & a Little Culture

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Before the show, there’s an ad for it with Dillon and Kiki. They’re so made up, I don’t recognize them at first.

Lulu asks Charlotte what she’d like to do, and Charlotte says have a tea party next time. Valentin shows up, and she runs to him.

Lucy asks Dante to perform in the Nurses Ball. He says no, like he does every year. He wants her to clarify something about the robbery, and asks if she saw the robbers take a bottle of prescription pills.

Kiki is working on a sample quiz for a class, but Dillon is distracting her. He tells her that food and sex are basic needs, and he’s helping her out.

Sam and Jason take Danny to the park for an egg hunt. He wants to find a special egg for Scout. Alexis joins them. She says the good news is, she’s not drinking, but every time she convinces herself that Julian is gone, something happens to make her question it.

Jax brings Carly flowers. He asks how she’s feeling, and she says about Sonny or him?

On the docks, Sonny relives one of his many arguments with Carly. Michael is checking out some real estate, and asks what he’s doing there. Sonny says he’s thinking of going to South America and meeting with his business partner. Michael thinks that’s sudden, but Sonny is afraid if he sticks around, he’ll kill somebody.

Kiki tells Dillon that at the top of her hierarchy of needs, is passing her class. Dillon backs off, but then returns. He wants to try out his new camera. Kiki says he’s needy, and he says he’s a Quartermaine. She says if she can finish fifteen questions, she’ll play outside with him.

Lucy tells Dante that the robbery is a blur, and she doesn’t want to dwell on it. Dante says the pills belonged to Morgan and shouldn’t have been there. He asks her to look at a picture of the bottle. Like she doesn’t know what a standard amber prescription bottle looks like. She says she’s late for a meeting with Ava, and like the Candyman, Ava appears as soon as Lucy says her name. Lucy tells Dante that they’re continuing their conversation about an important piece of art. Dante says that he thought they’d been talking about the Nurses Ball.

Lulu says Valentin is early. Charlotte tells him about the bunny. She shows him the eggs that Lulu painted and drops one. Charlotte is upset that she cracked the egg, so Lulu slams one on the floor, saying they can make egg salad now. Charlotte asks if they eat that at tea parties, and Lulu tells her that they’ll find out on her next visit.

Alexis tells Sam about the missing photo. She thinks it was of her and Julian.

Michael asks if Sonny told Carly that he didn’t sleep with Nelle, but Sonny says she was focused on Jax. He says he didn’t cheat on Carly, but she cheated on him.

Carly arranges the flowers and thanks Jax. He says it’s the least he can do after the trouble he’s caused. She says she knows he doesn’t mind that she and Sonny are fighting, and he tells her that he hopes she’ll see the light. She says she’s still furious with Sonny, and Nelle is a lying snake. The lying snake rings the doorbell. She’s also gotten highlights, so Valentin must pay well.

Lulu says they still have ten minutes, and Charlotte says her papa is there. Lulu thinks he wouldn’t mind, but Charlotte wants to go home. She thanks Lulu for the Easter basket. Valentin and Charlotte leave, and Lulu asks Mrs. Watkins how it went.

Ava tells Dante that she’s donating a piece of art to the ball; she does it every year. Lucy says she can count on the Jerome gallery. Dante asks Lucy about the pills again, but she says she doesn’t know anything, and is sorry for his loss. He says he’ll be seeing them both soon.

Dillon takes pictures of Kiki. He says she’s going to be a great nurse’s aide. He asks if she’s nervous about the Quartermaine party.

Sam wonders if the photo just fell out of the album, but Alexis says she wouldn’t have said anything if she thought that. Jason asks if there were signs of a break-in, but Alexis says Julian could have used his own key.

Michael asks Sonny if it’s really too late, and if Carly recommitted to Jax. He says maybe they can forgive each other now that the truth is out.

Carly is like, oh, look who’s here. Nelle says that Carly needs to know what she did was because of her father, who raised her to hate Carly. Jax says it’s his fault. Nelle says she believes him, but wouldn’t change anything because Josslyn is alive. She says now that Carly knows, maybe she and Sonny can get back together. Carly says she doesn’t give a damn. He lied and covered it up, but she doesn’t want to discuss it with Nelle. Nelle used Morgan’s death to target them. She used the worst possible grief, and Carly is going to make her pay.

Michael thinks maybe they just need time, but Sonny says when it comes to Jax, he can’t forgive and forget. Michael says Jax just wanted to save Josslyn’s life. Sonny is ignorant of what happened, so Michael explains that Jax is the one who made the deal for the kidney. Sonny says that Jax unleashed Nelle into their lives.

Carly asks if that’s Nelle’s angle – she’s not a home-wrecking slut after all. Jax tries to intervene, and says they still owe Josslyn’s life to her.

Valentin takes Charlotte out for a snack, and they discuss egg hunts. He says they can have one on the back lawn at Windemere. Charlotte misses her mom, and Valentin says he’s sorry. She wonders how Lulu can be her mother when she already had one.

Lulu talks to Laura on the phone, and Dante comes in. Lulu is crying, and tells him that they’re happy tears.

Dillon tells Kiki that his mom has been uncharacteristically pleasant since her trip, and she’s excited about planning the engagement party. Kiki wants to change, and Dillon is staying to take more photos.

Sam and Alexis discuss how the picture might have disappeared. Jason says he’s sure there’s a simple explanation for everything. Danny gives Alexis some fake flowers, and says he picked them for her. Someone is watching them. But seriously? They couldn’t afford real flowers? I guess they blew the flower budget on Carly’s bouquet.

Dillon takes some pictures, and joins Alexis and company. He says he hopes they didn’t mind him taking photos, and they all want copies. Sam looks at the pictures and says they’re great. She downloads them to her phone, explaining that this is how you do it in the digital age.

Jax says Frank spoon-fed Nelle lies. Carly says she used them against the family. Jax feels equally to blame, and says he should have come forward. He says he could never put a price on what she did, but can give her money for a fresh start. Nelle says she can’t accept it. Jax doesn’t understand. She says all the money in the world can’t change what they did, but if she doesn’t try to undo the damage she’ll never forgive herself. Carly tells Jax not to give in to Nelle’s sanctimonious crap; she’s staying for Michael.

Michael explains Jax’s part in buying the kidney to Sonny. He says that Jax did what he had to for Josslyn. Sonny says he knew everything and didn’t say a word.

Valentin says Claudette loved her very much, but she was created in a way that makes her super special, and also makes Lulu her mother. He suggests Nina can help him answer her questions when they get home. Charlotte is glad he married Nina and that she’s her new mommy, but she feels bad. She liked being with Lulu.

Lulu tells Dante about the visit. She says there’s hope that her daughter is going to learn to love her. Dante is happy for their family, and happy to see her smile again. He says almost everything is right in the world. She asks if there’s something wrong.

Lucy can’t believe she got dragged into this mess. Ava says she should have taken the first offer, and none of this would have happened. She tells Lucy to keep her mouth shut, and Dante will move on. Lucy says they’re talking about his brother’s death, and she’s not going to perjure herself because Ava was hooking up with Morgan. Ava tells her not to forget who she is and where she came from. She can make Lucy disappear – and will.

Sonny says he thought he and Jax had agreed on something for once – not wanting Nelle around. Now he knows why. Jax was afraid Nelle knew something. He stayed quiet, covered his ass, and they had to deal with the fallout. He says Carly knew, and slept with him anyway. He stalks off.

Carly says instead of hurting her, Nelle’s new goal is to get Michael back. What she did to Sonny is dicey, but they didn’t have sex. Jax says if she changes her mind let him know. Carly says she wants a bigger payoff. She should know, because Nelle is like Carly used to be. She says Nelle doesn’t deserve Michael, but he was dropped into her lap. She’s not passing up the best thing that happened to her, and she’s working on damage control. She’s working the victim card big time. Nelle says she meant what she said; she wants to make amends. Carly says go for it, but Michael is still too good for her. She’ll never get her hooks into him. She tells Nelle to get out. Jax asks if she feels better.

Valentin asks why Charlotte is upset, and Charlotte says it’s not fair to Nina and her mommy. She says Valentin doesn’t like Lulu. He says it’s true they don’t get along, but she can feel however she wants. He’s sorry for confusing her. She says she didn’t like Lulu before, but she was nice today. He says she wanted Charlotte to have a good time and Nina will be thrilled.

Lucy wonders if Ava would really go that far. Ava says Sonny will make Morgan’s death her fault. Lucy says her affair pales in comparison, so there must be more to it. She asks what’s the real reason that Ava had the pills

Dante explains to Lulu that the pills showed up in the robbery evidence. Morgan was there the night he died, but it’s six months later. He says that Ava is acting squirrely, and he’s going to figure it out.

Alexis and Sam look at the photos on Sam’s phone. Alexis wants Dillon to take a Christmas card photo. Jason takes the phone. He sees someone in the background, and says it looks like the guy in the security footage.

Kiki arrives for the party. Dillon tells her she looks perfect (and she does), but she says that she’s nervous. She says she knows the Quartermaines yelling at each other is a cherished tradition, but it makes her jittery. They kiss, and Dillon says they have time before the party. He takes her upstairs.

Lucy asks what the real story is. She saw Ava’s relief in throwing the pills in the trash, and Scotty was desperate to get them. Ava says if Sonny knew that she and Morgan were seeing each other, her life would be over. Lucy doesn’t believe that Ava would land in jail for rekindling the romance, so why is she so frightened? She asks what Ava did. Ava tells her to let it go.

Nelle sees Valentin and Charlotte. She asks if Charlotte wants to go to the park, but Charlotte wants to go home. Valentin says Nina has a tea party waiting. Charlotte says next visit they owe Lulu another ten minutes.

Lulu tells Dante that if she can make progress with Charlotte, he can get answers about his brother. Michael calls. He says there’s a problem. It’s Sonny.

Carly gets that Jax feels guilty, and he’s not wrong, but Nelle had better stay away from Michael. Jax says it’s not up to her. She says that Michael is kind and forgiving, and Nelle is a user. She’s just like Carly was. Jax says she doesn’t destroy what she loves; she fights for it. Sonny bangs on the door.

He walks right in past Carly, points at Jax, and says it’s all his fault.

Jason messes with the picture, making it bigger. Julian’s face is peeking out of the bushes.

On Monday, Carly wants Sonny to get out of her house, Tracy hangs the painting, and Jason has an idea.

Quotes of the Week

The most effective way to do it, is to do it.   – Amelia Earhart

You hate, while I’ll be great. – Kandi Burress, The Real Housewives of Atlanta

It’s pretty hard getting in the refrigerator. I’m standing on a heater that’s fallen over. – a hoarder on Hoarding: Buried Alive

🐸 And because I watched a V marathon recently:

I might bring down the neighborhood, but they’ll eat it. — Ham Tyler (Michael Ironside)

You!

You used to call me Mike. – Christina (Jenny Sullivan) and Mike (Marc Singer), respectively

Some culture to send you off on your weekend…

SundayInThePark

Sunday in the Park with George – Georges Seurat

Apr14

April 13, 2017 – Charlotte Visits Lulu, Survivor Outs a Contestant, the Kids Wellington Some Beef & a Random Thought

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Brad tells Monica the hospital is leaving itself open to a lawsuit because of an impaired doctor.

Hayden brings Finn a fresh shirt. He wants to talk to Monica about going to rehab.

Ned asks Olivia if she’s ready for a surprise. He told his mother they were engaged, and she said she’s happy for them. Olivia wasn’t expecting that, and Ned says he thinks she’s being genuine. Olivia says their most challenging test is still ahead of them.

Lulu lets Rocco go on a playdate, so as not to overwhelm Charlotte. She has scones, toys,  and arts and crafts. She tells Dante she feels like she’s forgetting something, and he suggests breathing. She’s sure Valentin will screw things up.

Nina tells Valentin that she believes him about everything, but when it comes to Anna he sees what he wants to see. Anna listens in on their conversation. Valentin says he doesn’t trust Anna. She’s part of his past and he can’t change that, but his priority is his family, namely her and Charlotte. He says the social worker is coming to pick up Charlotte, so she has to get ready. Nina notices his new watch, and asks where he got it.

Ned tells Olivia whatever she wants to do in planning the wedding is up to her. She says she was talking about her son, and she doesn’t mean Leo. I had to think about that for a minute.

Lulu goes on to Dante about how Valentin will probably sabotage all their visits. Dante says telling her not to worry would make him feel like a hypocrite. She’s relieved to know she’s not scared by herself. She suggests they put her nervous energy to good use. They kiss.

Anna talks to herself, saying that Valentin doesn’t want his wife to know he gave her the watch. Valentin tells Nina that he bought it himself. He apologizes for not talking to her about Anna. He says he should have been straight with her the way she always is with him. She tells him that she went to see Anna. Anna laughs to herself, remembering slamming Nina’s head on the desk, and I’m disliking her more every second. Her doorbell rings. It’s Andre.

Hayden tells Finn that she’s the money person, and even she thinks Monica is reasonable. With him, she’ll be talking to another doctor. Finn tells her he appreciates the pep talk, but has to face the reality that this could hurt his career. She says the hospital wouldn’t be open if not for him, and if Monica doesn’t factor that in, she doesn’t deserve him.

Finn sees Brad come out of Monica’s office. Monica tells him to come in. She says she wants a private conversation.

Hayden sees Brad and tells him he got his request for lab equipment. He says she can find the money for that, but not the people who operate it. He gripes about not getting a raise, and she says he wasn’t singled out. He says maybe if a hotshot doctor got fired, there would be more money, and it couldn’t be happening to a more deserving jerk.

Monica tells Finn that she just had a difficult conversation with Brad. He asks if his name came up. She says she doesn’t give credence to gossip. Finn says his decision to confess is probably too late, and he should have come to her sooner. He tells her that he’s an addict.

Anna apologizes for not picking up Andre’s call. He says he’ll come back, but she says she can take a break.

Valentin doesn’t suggest provoking Anna, since she’s a trained agent. Nina says she made it clear that Anna should keep her hands off her man. Charlotte comes in, whining that she doesn’t want to go on the visit.

Lulu tells Dante that the deck is stacked against them, but they’ll make it through it. Dante asks if she wants him to stay, but she tells him next time.

Charlotte says she’s busy having a bear tea party. Nina says she’s going to have her own tea party with her pony friends. She tells Charlotte that it will take her a while to prepare, but by the time she comes back, it will be ready. Valentin talks to Charlotte in French, and she goes with the case worker. Damn. I’d rather live with them than Lulu.

Ned doesn’t think Dante is going to have a problem with them getting married. Olivia says he’s protective, and Ned asks if he’s a momma’s boy. She says he has high standards, and Ned says too bad he didn’t talk to him first. Olivia says it might take time, but he’ll come around. No time like the present, since Dante appears.

Hayden asks Brad who’s getting fired. He tells her that the odds of a two-income household in her future are slim.

Finn explains everything to Monica. He says he intended to quit when he was cured. He tried, but was dependent. She says she had no idea, but she’s glad he came to her. He’s surprised that Brad didn’t say something, but she says she doesn’t go on what Brad has to say. Finn says that he thought he could detox himself – not one of his better ideas. He tells her about trying to score at the docks, and that he took meds from the hospital on one occasion. His patients never suffered, but that had more to do with his dumb luck. He knows he’s in no position to ask, but wonders if he’s out of a job. She says that’s the least of his problems.

Lulu greets Charlotte. Mrs. Watkins tells Lulu to pretend she’s not there. Lulu suggests they check out the playroom, but Charlotte says no thanks. Lulu moves on to the swing-set, but Charlotte doesn’t like swings. Lulu says they can do whatever she wants. What Charlotte wants is to go home.

Nina asks if Valentin wants to talk about Anna, and understands if he’s angry that she went to see her. He says he wonders if Anna legitimately wants peace, but it doesn’t matter; there’s not much she can do to him.

Anna tells Andre that she was listening to Mozart on the computer, and asks if something is troubling him. He says he bumped into Jordan with Curtis, and he’s not sure if it hurt more because he misses her or because he knows that she really wanted someone else. Anna suggests time and comfort food will be the cure. She asks if he wants some tea. She goes to the kitchen, and he listens on the earbuds. She comes back in, and he looks at her like she has two heads.

Anna asks what he thinks he’s doing, and Andre tells her that he thought it was Mozart. He says he’s not familiar with that requiem. He says instead he heard a private conversation between Valentin and Nina. He asks what she’s doing, and she says going on the defensive. She’s taking Valentin down.

Nina and Valentin play backgammon. He says she hates the game, and she says he hates losing the game. He’s worried about Charlotte, but Nina says Lulu isn’t going to do anything stupid with the case worker there. She tells him he’s not in it alone.

Charlotte tells Mrs. Watkins she wants to go home and doesn’t like it there. Lulu engages her, and they get in a conversation about scones. Lulu says she wants to make them for a party, but needs a mixer. Charlotte says she’ll do it if she can come to the party. That was quick, and I find it doubtful that Charlotte would have warmed up over making scones.

Brad tells Hayden that he told Monica about Finn’s addiction. He says Monica seemed surprised, but Hayden doesn’t. He asks how many millions in lawsuits she’s risked.

Monica tells Finn that dealing with his addiction has to be his first and only priority. He says he’s been looking at rehabs. She tells him to go today. Humble himself and seek help; he can’t do it alone. He says you’d think a doctor would know that already. She tells him that doctors are the worst addicts, because they think they’re above he rules since they create them. She says that she’s been sober since 2008, and. when he comes back, she’ll tell him all about it. She survived rehab; he can too. He asks if he’ll still be a doctor after he does.

Olivia wonders why Dante isn’t at the visit, and he explains they thought it might be too overwhelming for Charlotte. He notices her ring, and Ned tells him that he proposed. He asks if it’s a problem because Olivia didn’t think it would be an easy sell. Dante wonders what she told him. Olivia says she’s always relied on Dante, and now she’ll be relying on someone else. Dante says he just wants what’s best for her. Olivia says Ned is best for her. She knows he worries about her, and now he doesn’t have to. He says he’ll still worry, but it’s nice to know he won’t be the only one.

Monica says she’ll stop by for support once Finn has started his program. Hayden catches Finn before he leaves, and tells him that Brad knows everything. He says he should have given her credit for caring. He explains that he’ll have to go before a review board when he’s done with rehab, and if they approve, she’ll have him back. Hayden says it’s a start. He tells her that he only has one unresolved situation – what happens between them?Brad overhears, and shakes his head. Foiled again!

Lulu pretends to find an Easter egg, and tells Charlotte the Easter Bunny must have come early. They find a few more eggs, and she talks Charlotte into an Easter egg hunt. They go outside.

Valentin is worried, since Mrs. Watkins hasn’t called. I had to laugh at myself when Mrs. Watkins came to pick up Charlotte. Call me name-judgmental, but in my mind, the name implied a lady who looked like an old-fashioned grandma, and she’s nothing of the kind. She’s young and fashionable. Nina says Lulu never bothered to find out what kinds of things Charlotte likes, so as a responsible parent, Valentin should go over there and give her the information. That sounds like a terrible idea.

Andre says Anna is being aggressive. She says she’s learned there’s more to it. She pieced together the story with a WSB expert. Andre feels inadequate, since their sessions were thorough, but Anna says it was buried so deep, it took a lot to dredge it up. She says Valentin is a criminal, and she has to bring him to justice. Andre asks how she’s going to do that.

Brad accosts Monica. She says GH doesn’t show a staff member to the door because they’re ill, and they have a holistic policy if there’s a chemical dependency involved. She explains that a board will ultimately decide. Brad is livid that Finn isn’t losing his license. She tells him that all humans are flawed, and says that Finn’s research brought in the money to save the hospital. Crying before he’s hurt, Brad whines that Finn took all the credit, but Monica says he made it clear that Brad’s input was invaluable. She thanks him for his concern, and thinks that’s why Finn opened up. Brad might have saved his career, and even his life. I laugh as she shows Brad to the door. Foiled once more, but with kudos.

Finn tells Hayden that he doesn’t know how rehab will go. He doesn’t even remember how he is off of drugs. She might not like him sober. Hayden says get healthy, and deal with the rest later.

Olivia is shocked that Dante is giving his blessing to her marriage. Dante says they already talked; Ned wondered why she had turned him down. Dante says Ned is deserving of her, and welcomes him to the family.

Nina messes around with her collection of plush ponies. She looks at the note again. Then throws it out. She looks into the garbage can and reaches back in.

Anna tells Andre that if she wanted to kill Valentin, he’d be dead. He has to pay for his crimes legally. Andre asks how. She says she gets his version of the events, and can use it to get close to him. Lolling him into a false sense of security, and getting a confession. Andre says she’s playing a dangerous game. Anna says it’s her job, and she’s told him too much already. She doesn’t want him involved. If Valentin sees through her, he’ll retaliate, and she doesn’t want Andre to get hurt. She tells him not to tell anyone, and makes him promise.

Charlotte and Lulu come in talking about the bunnies they saw outside. Valentin arrives.

Nina sees the watch box. She puts to and two together. She reads from the note, saying, time heals all wounds. Good episode.

Tomorrow, Jason talks to Alexis, Dante asks about Morgan’s pills, Nelle wants to talk to Carly, and Sonny wants to kill someone.

🌴 Re the Survivor outing debacle. Unless you live on the moon, by now you’ve heard about the outing of transgender Zeke Smith by Jeff Varner during tribal council. While personally, I file this under who cares? I can’t believe that I haven’t seen one person propose that this might have been a set up for an old, tired show that should have been canceled years ago. First of all, none of that needed to be aired. Take it from me, I’ve been on a reality show myself, and editing is freaking magic. Secondly, Jeff Probst knew that Smith was a transgender. Apparently, so did half of the internet. In nosing around, trying to find out how Varner knew, I got no definitive answer, but took note of the fact that this has been an online topic of conversation for a loooong time. Funny how suddenly, this worn-out program that hasn’t been relevant for a while, is a topic of conversation everywhere, and is now current. It’s common knowledge that Survivor manipulates its contestants. (At one point, I was nearly convinced that Probst was the Antichrist.) At the end of the day, this seems as though it will be a win for everyone except Varner. Just sayin’.

👶 Will someone please give the father of the “Cash Me Outside” brat custody of her, before she ends up dead in an alleyway somewhere? I don’t have kids, nor do I fawn over those who aren’t in my life, but the attention that she’s getting for bad behavior, is disturbing even to me. She is not going down a good path, and she’s only 13 years old.

🍜 Tonight, the MasterChef Junior kids split into teams and created gingerbread houses. I can’t even make a house of cards using graham crackers. Gordon and Christina dressed like Will Ferrell in Elf, and a live gingerbread man (chef Aarón Sánchez) joined the group. The kids got sprayed with icing, and a good time was had by all. The babes in cookland also made a holiday dinner using Beef Wellington as the entrée. One little girl said she’d never cooked it before, so she hoped it was “cooked with a miracle.” Honey, that’s how I always cook. Unfortunately, there was no miracle for her, and she and another kid had to go home. But I hope they take heed in what Gordon said, that they’re moving on to another chapter. Chef Sánchez also offered one of them a job, making a ten-year-old further along in his career than most adults I know. Next time, they’re down to eight and some sushi happens.

 

 

Apr13

April 12, 2017 – Anna Gifts Valentin, Sonja has a Mad Hatter Party & Bette is Still Feuding with Joan

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna leaves a note for Valentin saying she doesn’t want to be his enemy, and maybe they’ll learn that time heals all wounds. She’s also included a free watch.

Anna’s doorbell rings. It’s Laura. She wants to talk about Valentin.

Valentin examines the watch. Nina wants him to zip up her dress, but he’s hiding the watch and note behind his back, so he can’t.

Tracy wants to exchange the wall-hanging in the den for the painting. She tells Monica that she acquired the perfect piece.

Hayden tells Curtis that Finn disappeared. Not totally. He’s passed out in an alleyway, and looks kind of bloody.

Nina asks Valentin if he has a present behind his back, but Valentin tells her no. Nina thinks he’s lying. He tells her she’ll be disappointed, and he shows her the note. I don’t know if “disappointed” is going to be the right word. Valentin says that Anna came by and surprised him. Nina wonders why he didn’t tell her. He flashes back to Anna saying that their night together meant something. Valentin says she wanted to put past behind them. Nina asks if he believes that, and he asks if she does.

Laura tells Anna about Lulu’s canceled visit with Charlotte, accusing Valentin of sabotage. She thinks Lulu is too emotional, and Valentin can easily exploit that. Anna says they’ve made peace.

Monica tells Tracy that it’s her house. Tracy tells her to take pride in it then, and hang something worthwhile. Ned comes in, and she tries to get him on her side. Monica tells Ned he’s in charge while she’s at work, and if the tapestry is missing, take Tracy to a hotel.

Tracy shows Ned the covered painting. He says Larry wasn’t pleased about her skipping town without him. He tells her that he and Olivia-F are engaged.

At the hospital, Andre says it looks like Brad got good news. Brad says a condo he and Lucas had their eye on is available.

Hayden tells Curtis that Finn’s room wasn’t used last night. He says he’ll lecture her later on about enabling, but right now he’ll look for Finn. And this one is on him. She promises to keep her lips to herself, and says she’ll leave that to Jordan. Jordan appears, and says lucky her.

Finn is in the hospital. Griff wants to do a neurological test. Finn says he can’t feel his face, and tries to analyze things, but Griff says let him do the doctoring. (Is doctoring a medical term?) He has Finn do some simple tests to check his motor skills. He asks if Finn knows how he sustained the injuries. Finn says not really. Griff asks if he wants to tell the police what happened.

Nina says she barely knows Anna, and doesn’t like her. Valentin says she seemed remorseful, but he doesn’t totally trust her. Nina is concerned about Lulu’s visit, and Valentin says Charlotte isn’t going anywhere; Lulu is a loose cannon, and it will sink her. He suggests they go out afterwards, and Nina says sounds like a plan. Nina leaves for work, and Valentin calls someone, saying he has a job for them.

Laura reminds Anna that she thought Valentin was out to get her, but Anna says he had his reasons. She says in her past, she did some things that could be considered treason, and Valentin was a victim. She had no memory of it, and was suppressing it because she didn’t want to deal with it. She met with a WSB specialist who restored her memories. Laura says memory is flawed, but Anna says she’s sure it happened. She can’t take it back, so she needs to make it right. Laura says that Valentin doesn’t deserve compassion and mercy; he’s a cold-blooded murderer, who kept her granddaughter from her. He might not have deserved the past, but he deserves what he’s getting now. Anna understands, but says her part in the war is over.

Ned tells Tracy to go ahead and tell him that he’s making a mistake, but it won’t change anything. Tracy asks if Olivia-F makes him happy. Ned says she does, and Tracy says she’s happy for him, and congrats.

Hayden explains to Jordan that she kissed Curtis, but he had nothing to do with it. Jordan jokes around, asking if he wants to press charges. Curtis tells Hayden they’ll talk later, and Hayden leaves. Curtis tells Jordan that he was being a friend and got a sneak attack. Jordan says he doesn’t owe her any explanations; they’re not exclusive. Curtis thinks they should change that.

Griff tells Finn that he’s lucky to be alive, and the police need to know about him getting beat up. He adds that Finn isn’t in rehab, and must have gone to the pier to score. Griff accuses him of being high right now.

Ned asks what Tracy has done with his mother, and if she had a spiritual metamorphosis in Turkey. She tells him that she found her father.

Brad talks to Monica about some lab ideas, but the presentation has been postponed. He says as long as it doesn’t affect his raise. Monica says as a matter-of-fact, it does

Finn says the cops will only cause more problems. Griff says the problem he has is fixable, if he has the guts to do it. In the hallway, Griff sees Hayden, and tells her that Finn is there. She goes into Finn’s room, where he’s trying to get out of bed.

Jordan and Curtis kiss. Andre sees them.

Valentin is at the docks, talking to someone on the phone about finding suspicious stuff. Laura comes by. She accosts Valentin, telling him that it’s selfish not doing what’s best for daughter. He says he’s providing loving family, and Charlotte will always choose him and Nina. Laura accuses him of trying to psyche her out, and says nothing is going to work. Wow, if she considers that a psyche out, nobody is trying very hard. She says there’s nothing wrong with her memory, so he can’t prey on her like he did Anna.

Nina goes to Anna’s place. She asks if they didn’t have a conversation where Anna was supposed to stay away from her husband. Anna says they did. Nina attacks her.

Hayden asks Finn what happened. He says it was a rough night. She asks if he used, and Griff says his bloodwork is clean. Finn tells them that he paid for the drugs and changed his mind, but found out the hard way that drug dealers don’t do refunds. Griff asks why he didn’t say something, but Finn didn’t want anyone to know how low he’d gone. He thought about what Hayden said, and that at the end of the road maybe there’s a better life, and someone to share it with.

Curtis sees Andre, and tells Jordan, to be continued. He leaves, and Jordan approaches Andre. It’s awkward. She tells him that she wouldn’t blame him for being angry. He says he knows he can’t make someone feel what they don’t want to, and tells her not to feel badly about what she wants.

Anna gets the better of Nina. Nina says that Anna pushed her there. Anna says she has no quarrel with her, and Nina asks what’s up with the letter. Anna says it’s a declaration of peace, and asks if Valentin even saw it. Nina says showed it to her because they’re honest with each other. Anna just wants to end the feud. Nina tells Anna that after months of harassment, admit she’s after Valentin.

Laura says obviously Anna is confused, thinking she committed some wrong against him. He says they know each other well. Laura says she’ll do whatever it takes to make him pay. She tells him that it’s clear that Charlotte and Nina genuinely love him, so there must be something decent in him and worth loving, but she doesn’t think he believes or trusts it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have to cling to it. She tells him that he’s afraid when they see who he really is, they’ll abandon him. He stutters, and tells her to get away from him. She says with pleasure, but he’ll see her again…soon.

Ned reads Edward’s letter. He asks Tracy why it matters what he thinks if it makes her happy. She wants to know what he thinks is missing. Ned thinks it’s bull. Tracy asks if he thinks Edward was lying, and Ned hopes not, for her sake. Ned says Edward should have told her this his entire life. He expressed his feelings by controlling and manipulating, and held the family hostage. Ned says he saw Edward clearly for what he was, not bad, but not always good either. Tracy says he was complicated. Ned says everything he did was for his own ends, and he doled out affection to whoever paid proper reverence. To stay in his good graces, you had to toe the line, which left Tracy at odds with him or in exile. If she believed he loved her, she wouldn’t need a letter.

Nina says first Anna is after Valentin, and now she wants to be friends. Anna brings up Nina’s past, and says her feelings are understandable, but she’s being needlessly territorial. Anna wants no further conflict. Nina tells her says no more notes, no more anything. She leaves, and Anna laughs to herself.

Valentin meets with guy on the docks. He says he’s found nothing, and gives Valentin the watch. Valentin says that’s reassuring, and messes with the watch some more.

Monica tells Brad that’s the way things are at the moment. She hopes that Hayden will loosen the purse strings soon. Brad wonders what Hayden has to do with it, and Monica says she’s the hospital’s financial advisor. Brad twirls his proverbial mustache.

Finn tells Hayden and Griff that he’ll go to rehab. Griff says there’s an outpatient service in town that’s good, and discreet. Finn says it doesn’t matter. He has to own up to who he is and what he’s done. He’s an addict. He says Monica needs to hear it from him.

Brad asks Monica when Finn is coming back, and she assumes when he finishes his paper. Brad says there’s something she needs to know about Finn. What I’m assuming is that Brad is going to tell her about Finn’s addiction, but I don’t see how this would get him anywhere. Wouldn’t he be better off trying to blackmail Hayden with that information?

Ned isn’t saying that Edward didn’t love Tracy in his own way. Tracy says his way was fine. Ned says she spent her life chasing his love, when she should have been comforted by it and felt it when he was alive. It’s the kind of love she deserved. He says that he’s proud of her, of the person she’s become, and he loves her with all his heart. Tracy tears up and so do I. She cries on his shoulder.

Laura talks to Lulu on the phone, and asks if she wants the good or bad news first. She says the good news is that Valentin isn’t as confident as they think; and the bad news is that they can’t count on help from Anna any more.

Anna’s phone rings. It’s Andre, but she doesn’t answer.

Curtis joins Jordan again. She has to get to work. He says he’ll walk her there, and they’ll talk about the date she owes him.

Andre leaves a message that he could use a friend, and asks Anna to call him back. Anna is on the laptop and puts earbuds in.

Valentin puts the watch on. He smiles. We see Anna messing with the watch, and sewing a device into it. She hears Valentin and Nina talking. I just have to say it. That looked like something I could have easily found. You mean to tell me that Valentin’s guy noticed nothing?

Tomorrow, Andre asks Anna what she’s doing, Nina asks where Valentin got the watch, and Finn talks to Monica.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Sonja calls for chocolate. The doorbell rings. It’s new Wife, Tinsley. Sonja knows her from charities they’ve done together, and she’s going to be Sonja’s houseguest. You might know Tinsley from her arrest in the tabloids. Sonja tells her that she can stay as long as she wants. Tinsley doesn’t know whether she wants to live uptown or downtown.

It’s Halloween, and Bethenny tries on a sexy leopard costume. Carole arrives. Ramona joins them. Bethenny is surprised that Ramona didn’t acknowledge her dogs, and Ramona says Bethenny never sent her an announcement. Aww! They’re wearing pumpkin costumes. In her interview, Ramona thinks now that Bethenny has a boyfriend, she’s been ignoring her. Carole mentions her new kittens.

Carole asks if Ramona went to LuAnn’s bachelorette party, but she wasn’t invited. She tells them how LuAnn accused her of stirring the pot, and playing detective regarding Tom. They agree that LuAnn seems more than happy.

LuAnn has a Mad Hatter party to go to, so she goes with daughter Victoria to a millinery. While they try on hats, she tells Victoria about Sonja being stuck in the past. She thinks Sonja wishes that she was with Tom. We flash back to Sonja talking about her previous relationship with him. I’m thinking who didn’t have a relationship with Tom is probably a shorter list than who did.

Bethenny says that Sonja seems to be doing well. Ramona tells them about Tinsley moving in. She says Tinsley was a major socialite, and Bethenny brings up her stalking the ex-boyfriend. She says that Tinsley had the world at her fingertips, and crashed and burned. Carole is having an election night party, but Ramona says they’ll just argue. Carole wonders how that will be different from any other night. They talk about the Hillary email thing, because we will never, ever be able to get away from any of it for the rest of our natural born lives. And maybe even after that. I go ♫ La-la-la! ♫ Bethenny accuses Carole of being a know-it-all and elitist.

Back at Sonja’s place, Tinsley is excited about being back in New York. She’s anxious about regaining her life there. Sonja asks how she liked the play, and we see a clip of it. In her interview, Tinsley talks about her marriage to Topper Mortimer. I get a picture of Leo G. Carroll in my head. (Google it.) Sonja knows how it is to have everything golden, and then have it fall apart. Tinsley says she still wants kids, and has had her eggs frozen. They talk about criteria for a man, and Tinsley says he needs to have a job. Wow. For a socialite, she doesn’t ask for much. She talks about her relationship with the dude who called the cops on her. She thinks he was acting out because they weren’t going to be together. Tinsley says at least she had her lashes on in the mug shot, although her eyebrows were not on fleek.

Dorinda has invited Ramona to her cryotherapy session. Ramona shows up, but she’s dressed for a date, so she’s not actually partaking. She tells Dorinda about her lunch with LuAnn. She says she decided not to say anything about Tom. She says it’s obvious that LuAnn doesn’t want to know. I do though.

Dorinda talks about Sonja spreading lies about her, but Ramona says Sonja hasn’t said anything to her. In her interview, Dorinda says Sonja shouldn’t be saying anything about anybody, considering her colorful past, and she has to nip this in the bud. Dorinda goes into the freezing chamber or whatever you call it.

Tinsley has missed NYC. Yeah, me too. Worst. Idea. Ever. To. Move. She tells us about the Mortimers being one of the famous historical families there, and how you’re treated differently when you marry into one. She doesn’t have the invitations that she used to, but wants to be prepared, so she’s dress shopping. We see some of the fashion pages she’s been in, and she tries on this amazing formal dress with a delicate botanical pattern on it. She says it was almost the perfect life. She walked away, and she wants it back. Good luck with that after the mug shot thing.

Dorinda’s daughter Hannah is getting her own place, and they go furniture shopping. It takes three months for a couch delivery? Hannah says things are born, live, and die in that amount of time. Really. In her interview, Dorinda is glad Hannah is moving out before it turned into an Edie Beale situation. She’d be eating out of a tuna fish can, and Hannah would be wandering around in a ballerina outfit. Omg, that’s too funny.

Bethenny says that clutter is the devil incarnate. I tend to agree, although I’ve yet to conquer it. She sends a lot to Dress for Success. She talks to her assistant about her boyfriend, Dennis. She says it’s been difficult with the suckerfish Jason Hoppy stuff going on (I refuse to put his name in bold), and she’d like to be more engaged in her new relationship. She thought all that would be over by now. Like any normal person would think.

Sonja is getting ready for her Mad Hatter party. The dress code is, wear color. She tells us that’s how you set the tone for a party. She wants everything to be perfect, because she knows how the girls can be in picking at someone. She says that they want you to be successful, but not more successful than they are. Tinsley shows up wearing black. So much for the party’s tone.

Commercial break with horrifying information. The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion will be in four parts. Here’s hoping that Porsha loses her sh*t again.

Ramona is also wearing black. She asks why Sonja didn’t invite Dorinda, and Sonja makes some vague comments about why should she? In her interview, she tells us it’s all about the Berkshires. Carole arrives, wearing black and white.

Bethenny is on her way. Wearing colors! But the friend she’s bringing is in black. What is wrong with these people? Ramona chatters away to Carole about not wanting to invite Sonja to her house because of her altercation with Dorinda. She was hoping they’d make up today. Inside, Tinsley instructs Sonja on applying lashes. Ramona is wearing a scarf (also black), and moves on to saying how much she likes hickeys. Bleh. Thanks for the visual. Carole talks about how informed she is about politics, and won’t hear that Ramona might also be informed. I might not think so in Ramona’s case either, but I have the feeling that’s how Carole feels about everyone else in the world.

Bethenny says she looks like a piñata at somebody’s funeral. HA-HA! Even Sonja is wearing a floral-patterned dress with a black background. Tinsley says she’s trying to be open to the new people she’s meeting, but she doesn’t get a friendly vibe from Bethenny. Has she seen the show? I’ll bet they watch it in jail. LuAnn is wearing color and a hat. She and Bethenny say hello, but the conversation is stilted.

Ramona asks if Tinsley is seeing anyone, and she says no, but it would be nice to be married again. They didn’t have children, only Chihuahuas, and Ramona asks if she regrets it. Tinsley says she’d still like to have them, and tells Ramona about the arrest. She feels the need to bring it up early on, before someone hears about it elsewhere. Ramona says she’s got balls.

LuAnn and Sonja sit inside to talk. LuAnn says she’s been reading negative things in the paper about herself that have come from Sonja. Apparently, she’s been saying that even if the marriage turns out to be a bust, she’ll be there for LuAnn. Somehow, Sonja turns the tables to talking about Ramona, and how she’s turning Dorinda against her. In her interview, LuAnn says Sonja is coming off like she’s jealous. LuAnn tells her to quit dwelling on the past. In her interview, Sonja says LuAnn only hears what she wants to hear. LuAnn tells Sonja that she’s happy, so back off.

Ramona says any relationship that ends, isn’t easy. Bethenny says she’s familiar with that. Yep. Bethenny asks about Dorinda. She thinks Sonja needs to drop the Berkshires, Tom and the townhouse. She tells Ramona that the invite said to wear the colors of Wonderland, and Ramona looks like she’s going to a funeral. A dressy funeral. NYC is the capital of black clothing, but since I always had pets, I rarely wore black. Mostly grey, so the car fur would just blend in. Oddly enough, I’m not a huge fan of black.

Tinsley says she falls in love easily and makes her men into projects. She tells them about the list Sonja is making for her. In her interview, Carole says Sonja isn’t the person she’d go to for man advice. Tinsley loved meeting Ramona and Carole, but feels Bethenny wasn’t receptive.

Sonja and Bethenny discuss what designer LuAnn is wearing. Sonja tells Bethenny that it’s Ralph Lauren, and Bethenny says she thought it was Laura Ashley. Sonja’s borrowed butler suggests Salvation Army, and Bethenny nearly chokes on her sandwich. She wants a bitchy borrowed butler, so they can talk about the gaucheness of things.

Next time, Sonja talks about LuAnn and Dorinda, Tinsley feels weird, and Ramona confronts Bethenny.

👠 I totally forgot to watch Feud: Bette and Joan on Sunday, so caught up with it On Demand today. This miniseries hasn’t ceased to impress me, and I wish it would never end. This week, the stars are about to film Hush…Hush, Sweet Charlotte, originally titled Whatever Happened to Cousin Charlotte? because the studio wanted to keep milking Baby Jane. The episode was entitled Hagsploitation, which was apparently a thing in the early 1960s. Charlotte was also one of my favorite movies growing up; I was forever trying to catch it on TV. I remember my parents going to see it in the theater, and I was annoyed because they thought I was too young to go. Even at a tender age, I liked weird, scary stuff. Even better, John Waters guest starred as William Castle, who directed Joan Crawford in Straight Jacket, the two of them making the rounds of movie theaters to promote the film. Eventually, Joan was replaced in Charlotte by Olivia de Havilland, but we’re not at that point yet.

Hush

Apr12

April 11, 2017 – Sonny Sees Jax, No One Gets the Baby, Beverly Hills Reunites & Imposters Bids Adieu

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Lulu brings Rocco to visit Dante at the station. She’s all ready for her visit with Charlotte. Dante asks what she’s afraid of.

Hayden is having coffee outside of Perks, while Curtis runs the steps. She’s adding an extra kick to her coffee, and offers him a bottle in a paper bag. He accepts, saying he has to stay hydrated. She’s hiding from Finn because she wants to get back together and is scared he’ll say yes.

Finn isn’t doing too well. He’s like forget it, and we see he’s given himself a shot. But it’s a dream.

The hooded figure goes through Alexis’s house. He looks at a photo album. Alexis arrives home.

Carly tells Sonny not now. He asks if she heard him right, and repeats that he wasn’t unfaithful after all. I’m going to say this again. That wasn’t what she was angry about in the first place. Why would this change anything? Another case of the man not listening and/or hearing what he wants to hear.

Alexis goes into the house and sees a light is on. She asks if anyone is there. Kristina walks in, and Alexis almost crowns her with a laptop.

Hayden tells Curtis that she left Finn with a list of rehabs. Curtis says he knows Finn hurt her. He wanted to kill him, but Finn is legit; he’s a good guy, but the detox was rough. Hayden says he called her out on all of her insecurities. Curtis says he was out of his mind. Hayden says if it wasn’t true, it wouldn’t have been in his head, and he doesn’t trust her. Curtis says Finn loves her, but he needs to go to rehab and it’s a long road. She can’t fix it or save him. If she tries, she’ll end up losing herself.

Hayden’s phone rings. It’s Finn. She asks if he’s okay, and he says not really. He wants her to come over. She asks if he’s called a rehab, and he says he needs to see her.

Sonny explains about the recording to Carly. He says a girl who’s cold-hearted enough to set him up, would have recorded the act, but she only recorded the aftermath. He says that Nelle drugged him, and that’s why he blacked out. He says it should have been a clue, since in all his years of drinking, it’s never happened before. Carly asks if he has proof, and he tells her Nelle confessed. He says they can be together now, because he didn’t listen to what the problem really is.

Lulu tells Dante she can’t wait to get to know Charlotte, and that she’s bought Charlotte a bunch of toys. Dante says she seems nervous. Rocco gives Dante some cookies. He tells Rocco they’re the best cookies ever, even though that’s doubtful from the look on his face. When Rocco runs off, Lulu tells Dante about Rocco adding extra salt. Dante tells Lulu that gifts or cookies won’t make Charlotte love her.

Finn tells Hayden he does trust her; that’s why he asked her to help with the detox. She says he didn’t have anyone else. He says he’s ashamed of how he treated her. She tells him that he needs help that she can’t give him, and to please find it. She hangs up. She puts more liquor in her coffee, and Curtis says she did good. She asks why she feels like crap then.

Finn tells Roxie that he blew it. Hayden wants him to go to one of those places. He doesn’t think he can handle 28 days without practicing medicine, Roxie, and Hayden, but if he doesn’t go, he’ll lose Hayden forever.

Kristina doesn’t think a laptop is a very good weapon, and Alexis says she’ll use a fireplace poker next time. Kristina points out that it’s weird, and Alexis is still jumpy. Alexis says it seemed like someone was in the house, and tells her about the light. Kristina says maybe she forgot that she left it on. Alexis tells Kristina about Nathan’s visit, and Kristina says he talked to her too.

Carly wonders why Nelle would confess now. Maybe she’s lying because she likes Michael. Sonny says as soon as she said she drugged him, he knew it was true. No matter how drunk he was, she’s not his type. I guess he’s never heard of beer goggles. Everything after that, is on him. He tells Carly how much he loves her, and asks if this can be over. Carly looks at the wine on the table with the two glasses, and says it can’t.

Alexis says Nathan had no right to question Kristina. Kristina says they just ran into each other, but he was more worried about Alexis than anything else. He thinks she might be withholding information and putting herself in danger. Alexis says she’ll call Jordan, and tell her to make Nathan back off. Kristina asks what she could be hiding at this point.

Finn calls Tracy because he needs a good dose of the truth. He gets voicemail, and apologizes for what he said, calling her the best friend he’s ever had. He tells her that he misses her. He decides to go out for some fresh air.

Hayden thinks that Curtis talking to Finn is a good idea. He needs a friend, and she can’t be one. Curtis has been where Finn is, and can possibly get through to him. Curtis says he can’t convince Finn to go to rehab any more than she can. She gets up, obviously drunk. She tells Curtis they should go shake their booties and dance the night away. He says she’s crazy, but in a good way. She kisses him.

Sonny asks Carly if this is about his ultimatum, and says that he didn’t know where to go. If he’d just said something that morning, they could have worked things out. He knows he’s not easy to live with, and that Nelle shook her faith in him. He says nobody knows him in his core – the ugliness, anger, and brokenness – except her, and she loves him anyway. He needs her to love him, and he loves her. He says they can do this, and asks her to come back. Tears roll down her cheeks, and she says that she’s sorry, but he has to listen. With perfect soap timing, Jax pops out while putting on his shirt.

Dante says Lulu should just be herself. Lulu said she tried that, and Charlotte hates her. She was thinking about her needs instead of Charlotte’s. Dante says the more time Charlotte spends with her, the more she’ll get to know and like her. He tells Lulu to just be present and listen, instead of using bribery. Rocco joins them, and asks if Lulu will love Charlotte more than him.

Sonny tells Carly that didn’t take long. Jax says it’s her business. Sonny asks if it bothers him that he’s a back-up or a side piece. Carly tells him not to be ugly. Sonny says she crucified him for months, for a mistake he didn’t make, and the first chance she gets, she spreads her legs. Oooh! Jax tells him to apologize and leave, and Carly says let him go on. Sonny says Carly can’t last five minutes without a man in her bed, and that makes her a bad wife, but a great whore. Carly smacks him.

Alexis tells Kristina that she’s not hiding anything, but Kristina doesn’t believe her. Alexis says it’s going to sound “out there,” and Kristina says she can handle it. Alexis tells her that she feels like Julian isn’t dead, and it’s something tangible. She hears someone knocking, and there’s no one there; the phone rings, and ditto from a number she doesn’t recognize. She says she knows how Kristina felt about him, but Kristina says she can’t tell Alexis how to feel. She accepts Alexis’s grief, but that doesn’t explain phantom phone calls or knocks on the door. Alexis tells her about the credit card and phone call from the gas station.

Curtis tells Hayden to take it easy. She says there’s an attraction between them, and she’s free now. He says she’s wasted. He likes her a lot; she’s beautiful, smart, and edgy, although she’s sometimes a pita, but they’re friends. He doesn’t want to waste that or take advantage of it. She tells him to make her forget, and kisses him again. Mimicking Jax’s timing, Finn walks out and sees them.

Finn says he thought he’d get some fresh air, and asks what they’re up to. Curtis says it’s not what it looked like. He says Hayden cares about Finn, but he has no one to blame but himself. She’s drunk and reckless because of him. If he doesn’t want to get help, Finn will crash and burn, and take her along with him. He says he’s been there, but Finn is worse off, considering how long he’s been using. He says it hurts to admit you need help when something has control over you. The addiction is controlling him, and he’d better take help or he’ll lose Hayden. Finn says he loves her, and walks away. Hayden starts crying, and Curtis holds her.

Carly tells Sonny that she’s sorry he’s hurt and found out the truth too late, but he doesn’t get to come in her house and name call. He says she wanted the truth, and she lists all the recent lies he’s told her. She says for someone who prides himself on his word, he’s the biggest liar of all. She says it’s never going to be different and he says that’s right, because they’re done. He slams out. Jax asks Carly if she’s okay. She says no, but she will be.

Alexis tells Kristina that she has unresolved feelings for Julian. She wants to believe that what he said in the letter is true, and she never got a chance to talk to him about it. Kristina says she had a huge loss and serious trauma; it’s going to take time to recover. Alexis thanks her for talking her down. Kristina suggests she stick around, and maybe spend the night. She finds the photo album on the floor. Alexis says she’s sure she’d put it away, and Kristina says it was open as though someone was just looking at it.

Dante tells Rocco that they love him more than ever, and Lulu says he’s everything. They’re just excited about him getting a sister. Dante says no parent likes any one kid better than another – it’s the law. Lulu says they love them both. Rocco asks if that means Charlotte’s dad loves her too. Dante says he does, but a judge needs to sort things out. He asks if Charlotte is going to live with them, and Lulu says for now, they’ll just visit with her. Group hug.

Curtis gives Hayden some water. She apologizes. Curtis says his ego can always use a boost. She asks what’s wrong with her, and he says only small stuff. She’ll bounce back with or without Finn; she’s too stubborn not to. She wonders if what Curtis said made a difference, and if Finn is further on road to recovery or worse off.

Finn meets with a cliché-looking drug dealer. Actually, he’s a cliché-looking drug dealer who also looks like he stepped out of the 1960s.

Carly looks for some legal contact information. She tells Jax that Sonny is going to lash out, and she’s not going to let him trample over her. She has nothing to feel guilty about. Jax asks if she is feeling guilty, but she says no. They shared something special about them. She says she should feel guilty because she gave up too soon – at least Sonny thinks she did. She says she fought for as hard and as long as she could, but she’s done.

Alexis says she was showing Diane some old photos. Kristina goes down Memory Lane, and Alexis says it was nice while it lasted. She says she’s tired, and Kristina asks if she wants her to stay over, but Alexis says she’s fine and don’t worry. She isn’t going to put herself in any danger, just to bed. Kristina leaves.

Alexis looks at the photo album. She discovers that pictures are missing.

Tomorrow, Nina asks Valentin if he’s hiding something, Brad gets good news, and a dead body is found.

If Loving You is Wrong

Alex tells the judge to check the birth certificate. He asks who Brad is. Randal insists he’s the father, and the judge asks if he’s taken a paternity test. He’s annoyed that Randal is wasting his time. He says it’s obvious neither one of them is a fit parent. He’s going to order that the baby be placed in foster care. Until paternity is established, neither one of them is going to see the baby. He kicks everyone out of his office.

Randal follows Alex and blocks her way. He tells her she can’t stop him from getting his son, and she says she just did. She hates the day she met him, and he says that makes two of them. He does that creepy smile, and says he has the upper hand. He’s going to the police to tell them that she set him up. He says her mother told him, so that’s proof. Alex says big deal; she’s dead. He continues being all weird, and talks about her parents getting killed. He says her parents were evil people, and he sees it in her. She smacks him and he laughs. Omg, I hate this guy. He asks when the funeral is being held, and if there’s a hillbilly fund in a mason jar for it. He tells her that she has nothing anymore, not even her baby boy. She asks him to hold her purse. Oh, okay, she starts yelling that he tried to rob her. He throws the purse back, and a taxi comes out of nowhere and picks her up.

Someone named Diane knocks on Kelly’s door. It’s her ex’s mother. She looks around, and says it’s a nice house. She asks if her son’s money bought it, but Kelly doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Diane asks why he’s in jail for fraud then. Kelly asks why Diane is there, and Diane says for her son; he needs a place to stay. She says Kelly owes him. Kelly doesn’t think it’s a good idea for him to stay there because of Justice. Diane finds his name ironic when his father didn’t get any in taking the fall for her. Kelly apologizes, and Diane says she’s not that sorry, since she’s free. She insists on Kelly helping him get back on his feet. Kelly says that’s not going to happen. Diane tells her not to make her show how far she’ll go when she’s been wronged. Kelly says she’s just looking out for her son, and Diane says watch her look out for hers.

Lushion talks to Lamont about Andrew. There’s been no trace of him. Pete calls. He’s getting sprung from the hospital soon, and going into protective custody. Pete isn’t thrilled, but Lushion says it’s for his own good. Pete says Eddie isn’t God and couldn’t even find him under an alias. He tells Lushion that he’ll keep in touch. Someone has to know where he is, and he trusts Lushion.

Randal stomps into the station. Lushion asks why he’s there, and he says to make a complaint. He’s supposed to talk to Rick, and asks if Rick is a good guy. Lushion says he is, and asks why Randal dropped the lawsuit against Eddie. Randal says he moved on to something better. Lushion says Eddie told him that he saved Randal’s life, but Randal says if the other guy hadn’t shown up, he’d be dead. Lushion asks if he saw another officer there, and shows him Andrew’s picture. Randal says he was a little busy, so no. Lushion asks if there was a shootout before they arrived, and Randal tells him that only Alex had a gun, and was holding it to his head. He claims she set everything up. He explains that the FBI told him to talk to Rick. Lushion asks if he’s sure he wants to go through with this. Randal says that’s Lushion’s problem; he wants to let Alex and Eddie go. Lushion tells Randal to leave Alex alone, but Randal insists that he did nothing and she tried to have him killed. He does the creepy smile thing, and says he’s letting nothing go. Lushion says it’s just going to get worse, and Randal says that’s his plan. Rick comes by, and Lushion introduces them.

Randal sits at Rick’s desk. Lushion tells Rick to take what he says with a grain of salt. He asks how bad the house is, and Rick says he needs a crew. Lushion asks if there are any leads, and Rick tells him they got DNA and hair from the house. Lushion wonders if they’re looking at someone, but Rick can’t say.

Eddie comes in the breakroom to bug Esperanza. He tells her internal affairs is driving him crazy. That’s a short putt. BA-DUM-CHH! She wishes she could burn some sense into his ass. She asks why he was in the office, and Eddie tells her to ask Alex. He says they’re trying to figure out what happened. He says Alex called her parents and had them kidnap Randal, and the DA is trying to find out about her. They see a news item about Andrew going missing. Esperanza says that should be of interest to him.

Lushion gets a crew out to clean the house. It says cleaning service on the van, but that’s not how it works. There’s a van that actually says “crime scene” on it that cleans up crime scenes. Not a regular cleaning service. I know this because, unfortunately, I lived next door to someone who committed suicide.

Lushion sees Brad parked in the driveway of Alex’s house. Brad says her car isn’t there, and Lushion says she totaled it. Brad asks if she’s okay, and Lushion tells him to ask her. He asks if Brad is all right. Brad says he’s fine, and asks what Lushion is doing there. Lushion explains they’re moving in, and gives Brad props for rescuing the baby. Brad says he did what he had to. Lushion calls him humble, and repeats that he should talk to Alex. He says the one thing he can’t do is protect his heart from her. Lushion says he has a lot of heart left, and he can fix it. Brad says he doesn’t want to, and Lushion asks why he’s there then. Brad doesn’t know, and Lushion says he has nothing to lose. A delivery truck comes. and Lushion has to run. Lushion tells the driver he has to come back. He needs a few more hours.

Natalie sits by Joey’s bedside at the hospital. Kelly comes in with flowers. Kelly asks how he’s feeling and he says like he got shot. She tells him that she brought flowers, and he says he’s not dead. Natalie tells her not to pay him any mind. She can tell something is up with Kelly, and Joey tells them to take it outside.

In the hallway, Natalie asks what’s going on. Kelly tells her about Ramsey. Natalie is shocked and sorry. Kelly says they’re looking for suspects. She says she hardly knew him, but Natalie says that doesn’t make it any less sad. She knows there’s something else, and tells Kelly to spill it. Kelly asks if a man has ever been abusive to Natalie, and tells her about Travis. She says he’s like a different person, and she doesn’t know what to do. Natalie suggests shooting him in his ass. Just pull the trigger one good time; she doesn’t even have to mess up her hair. She tells Kelly to get a gun. Kelly says she has a meeting to get a restraining order. Natalie says that’s good, but a gun will restrain him too. She’ll call her girl Michelle, and she’ll help Kelly. Kelly wants to focus on the restraining order. Natalie says she told her.

Alex looks at a family photo and cries. She’s cleaning the house, because when in doubt, scrub something. Esperanza knocks on the door. She says she called, but Alex says sorry, she needed time alone. Esperanza says she heard what happened and she’s sorry. She asks if Alex needs help with the funeral, but Alex says let the county deal with it. Esperanza thinks she’s being harsh, but Alex says they don’t deserve any dignity. She wants Esperanza to drop it.

Alex asks why she’s there, and Esperanza says she was checking on her. Alex says she’s fine and not to tell her she isn’t. Esperanza asks how the baby is, and Alex says the doctor says he’s fine. She tells Esperanza he’s been put into foster care, even though she had nothing to do with it. Esperanza thinks she called her parents to help her to get rid of Randal. Alex asks if she’s there to aggravate her, and Esperanza says she’s there to help. She knows that Alex went to see them. She shows Alex some phone records and pictures. Alex asks if she’s an investigator. Esperanza says she’s trying to get ahead of Alex being charged as an accessory to murder.

Esperanza says she can get in a lot of trouble. She tells Alex to drop the attitude, and asks if she never wants to see her kids again. She says that Alex has to come up with an air-tight excuse before someone comes around. She says protests have already started, and things can get ugly fast. Her father was part of an anti-government militia. She needs to come up with a good story; she can’t negate seeing her parents. She should say that she was trying to prevent Randal from harm, and not deviate from the story, no matter what. She tells Alex she was never there. Alex thanks her ,and they hug. (I guess Esperanza doesn’t realize Lushion is two houses away?)

Alex wipes her tears away.

Kelly can’t get in to see the attorney because he had an emergency. She asks if there’s someone else they can recommend; she can only come on her lunch break and needs to file the restraining order. She says it’s urgent, and the secretary says she’ll phone in the morning. Totally unrealistic, since I’m sure they would steer her to someone else. She has to get to Justice’s game, and asks for security to walk her to her car. She calls Justice, but he says the other team had to forfeit, so the game was canceled. He tells her that Travis is giving him a ride home. Kelly stares in silence at the phone.

Next time, Diane comes to Kelly’s office, Louise suggests that Alex could have cheated on Randal, and Lushion talks to Alex.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion, Part One

Kyle gives Dorit the skinny on reunions. Along with her gorgeous German Shepherd. Dorit realizes she’ll have to put her big girl panties on. To change it up a little, we get pre-reunion observations from the women in their home settings. We also get mini flash forwards. Next is the getting ready. LisaV tells Andy not to be mean.

And so we begin. Hmm…I’m not crazy about Eileen’s outfit. The outfits as a whole aren’t that dazzling, except for LisaV, Dorit and Erika. LisaR and Erika are wearing the same shoes, and Lisa informs us that she’s not wearing underwear. Andy talks about people on social media calling Dorit “Doritos,” and she says with a name like hers, she’s used to it. Everyone talks about how their names have been made fun of. Andy asks Erika about being chosen for Dancing with the Stars, which at this point, hadn’t started filming yet. LisaR says it’s about pacing yourself, and thinks Erika can go all the way. She has the same dance partner that LisaV did, and they joke about that.

We jump right in, with Andy talking about how Dorit called Erika “cold.” We flash back to various interactions between the two of them. I just know it’s coming – Pantygate. We end up with the Hong Kong dinner where Erika lost it. The T-shirt dress is discussed. Oh, for God’s sake. A fan thinks Dorit wanted to pick a fight with Erika from day one, but Dorit says they got off on the wrong foot, and it wasn’t her intention. The first Pantygate mention is dropped, and Dorit says it was meant to be playful. Erika says there’s a bit of truth in all kidding, and that’s how you get away with sh*t. I tend to agree, but the reactions to that went way overboard and for way too long.

Dorit says you can’t live a life walking on eggshells. Andy asks LisaV if Erika is being fair in saying Dorit talks sh*t, and Lisa says in all fairness, Dorit does talk a lot. Andy asks Eileen about Erika’s reaction to her saying that it’s not like Dorit killed her child, and Eileen says she didn’t feel personally attacked. She realized something else was going on. Erika says she didn’t want to break down like that, but it is something she thinks about occasionally, with her son being a police officer. We find out that Erika leant Eileen her glam squad as a peace offering. LisaR says meltdowns happen, and Kyle says it was like someone took over Erika’s body. They agree they all felt bad for Eileen.

Andy asks Erika about being the mom of a police officer. She says you know anything is possible. She doesn’t want to make a big deal about it, but she does get scared. He lives with her, and only when he pulls up after work, can she relax. She says he gets ribbed at work about the show. They talk about her sensitivity, and how she reveals herself slowly. Kyle says being sensitive can make you extra guarded. They discuss Erika’s trip home, and when her mother apologized for being hard on her as a child. We see a part of their conversation we hadn’t seen before. LisaV asks if Erika went the opposite in raising her son. Lisa says her parents weren’t demonstrative, so she lavished affection on her children. Erika says that her mother was loving, but made her grow up quickly. She talks about still giving her son hugs and kisses, and how much he hates it.

Andy says that LisaV, LisaR, and Eileen tried to co-exist, but it didn’t always turn out well. What a stupid choice of words. We flash back to some of their interactions. Part of the problem with these reunions is that they bring back old stuff people have gotten past, they relive the moment, and get pissed off all over again. Eileen says she was right about LisaV not being so nice. They talk about the Yulan documentary. Eileen says she wanted to bridge the gap by going with Lisa to watch it, and Lisa says there was a connection. Andy asks if it brings LisaV joy to see LisaR in the hot seat, and she says Andy likes it more. Nice return. Kyle thinks she does a little. LisaV says she likes a lot about LisaR, although sometimes she wants to strangle her. LisaR says that she’d thought they were cool when she was invited on the Hong Kong trip, and LisaV says a lot of things came up in Hong Kong. We flash back to LisaR being an idiot at the dinner. LisaR says they had a powerful moment, and they start talking about a mutual friend who passed away. Andy says he feels like they’re on the path to good things. He’s a regular Papa Hemingway tonight.

We move on to Dorit’s accent, and flash back to some Dorit moments. Andy asks why Boy George lives with them. She says she has a big house and extra room, and he lands there between gigs. (At one time, PK was his manager.) They talk about the flack she’s gotten for her parenting, and how many domestic helpers she has. Kyle says she never had s nanny, but it depends on the parent’s working life, so she’d never judge anyone. Dorit speaks Hebrew, Italian, Spanish and English fluently, and somehow, we go back to the accent thing. LisaR has to be shown the video to be reminded she called Dorit’s accent fake. Andy tries to stir the pot, but it doesn’t happen.

PK is going to join them. Andy asks how Dorit feels. She hopes the women don’t attack him, and that he gets to have his say. Andy asks how Erika feels, and she says it’s not her show. Alrighty then.

We get a glimpse of the Beverly Hills lifestyle, and flash back to various shopping trips, vacations, parties, and purchases. Andy asks if any of them will wear tonight’s outfits again, but most of them say no. Kyle has a section of her closet devoted to scary moments on the show. Andy suggests a clothing museum. We revisit Dorit’s $230,000 Bentley. They talk expensive cars for a while. We find out that Erika’s glam squad flies business class. Well, unless they’re on the private jet.

We see a little of PK behind the scenes. Dorit tells him to just be himself. Andy asks how he feels, and he says a bit nervous. We find out his name is Paul. Andy asks how he got so rich, and he says he started richer in real estate. Andy asks if his nosiness is natural or is he getting involved where he doesn’t belong, and he says maybe 50/50. And here it comes…

We flash back to the source of Pantygate, and see clips from its formation. Andy stupidly asks why it makes Erika uncomfortable, and she says the whole thing is embarrassing. Dorit has to insist once again that she didn’t think Erika did it on purpose, because for some reason, Erika is deaf to those words. Dorit says it was like saying don’t talk about a pink elephant in the room, and Andy – once again the soul of eloquence – asks if she’s comparing Erika’s who-ha to a pink elephant. Kyle says Erika was asked if she was wearing underwear, and didn’t volunteer the information. Well, really she did. Kinda. Erika says it’s gone on too long. PK says it wasn’t like he sat there and stared. LisaV says she didn’t think it would be such a big deal, since Erika wears a c-word necklace. Erika says that’s different than being told that you’re doing something like that on purpose. Because again she can’t hear that no one ever said that. If they had, we’d have seen the video ten times already. PK tells Erika not to call his wife a nasty person, and she says she’s not. She’s calling PK a nasty person for what he said.

Next time, round part two, LisaR again asks if people were doing coke at Dorit’s dinner party, Kim joins the group and tells Eden not to take her inventory, Erika tells Dorit to get the f out of here, and LisaR walks out.

🎭 Tonight, was the Imposters finale. If you haven’t been watching, I highly suggest you marathon this on On Demand. It’s fun and flirty, with a plot of twists and turns. In the final episode of the season, we got a glimpse of Maddie’s past and saw her first con. At the end, almost every character got conned as well, and Uma Thurman made a brief appearance. While there was promise of more intrigue to come, to date, Imposters hasn’t been renewed or canceled. I’m hoping for a second season. This show is like a breath of fresh air.

🚤 Below Deck Mediterranean starts Tuesday, May 2nd at 9 pm, and will have female captain this season. Although I’m looking forward to the new shows, I’ll miss Captain Lee.

Apr11

April 10, 2017 – Jake Adds to the Timeline, Landon Follows Through, the SUR Reunion Continues & Some Random TV Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis comes home asking if anybody’s there, and then wonders why she said that, since she’s the only one living there. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the PCPD, particularly Nathan. Alexis invites him in. She asks if it’s about Julian.

Sam is trying to find out who used Julian’s credit card. The doorbell rings, waking Scout. It’s Elizabeth. Because in Port Charles, no one ever calls first. She wants to talk to Jason about Jake.

Franco asks Jake why he’s not at home. He tells Franco that nobody knows he’s gone; the babysitter was busy texting, and the other kids were asleep. Franco says that Jake’s mother is going to flip out. Jake wants to know why Franco doesn’t want to be his friend anymore.

Kristina runs into Michael at Perks. She can’t believe it’s been a year since she lived in PC. Neither can I – it’s like she never left. She asks what’s up, and he says while she was studying, their family imploded – again.

Sonny says Nelle made him think that Jax slept with Carly, then he was drinking and blacked out. Nelle tells him that she drugged him.

Jax asks Carly what they’re doing, and she says trying to feel better. He said they made this mistake last time, but she says it’s not a mistake and she doesn’t want to stop. She leads him to the bedroom.

Alexis asks Nathan if Julian washed up on shore. He says it’s nothing definitive, but someone used Julian’s credit card to buy a bus ticket to LA. Alexis says she doesn’t know anything about his credit cards, since they always kept those things separate. Nathan asks if she has any reason to believe he’s alive.

Elizabeth tells Jason that Jake is fine. She just wanted to tell him about a follow-up session that she scheduled. She says she’s been thinking about how Andre said they need to be on the same page for Jake to open up. Sam asks if there’s anything she can do to help, since Jake is her stepson. Elizabeth says her involvement might be confusing to Jake. He adores Franco, but Franco isn’t allowed to be part of the equation. Why is Sam?

Franco tells Jake that he’ll always be his friend. Jake asks why he stopped coming by, and if he’s mad at Elizabeth. Franco says he doesn’t want Jake to get in trouble for sneaking out, and has to take him home before Elizabeth finds out and has a meltdown. Jake says the studio is cool and he never wants to leave.

Michael tells Kristina that someone came between Carly and Sonny. Kristina thinks it’s Jax, but Michael says no. He tells her that Carly isn’t the one who cheated. He explains how Sonny got drunk on Thanksgiving and slept with Nelle. Kristina is shocked. Michael says there were extenuating circumstances, but Kristina is having a hard time believing it. Michael says it was terrible, but Nelle was hurting too. Kristina asks why he’s defending her.

Sonny is stunned. Nelle says he assumed the worst, and she didn’t disagree. When she made his drink, she slipped a sleeping pill in. He passed out cold upstairs, and she got in the bed with him. She says she pretended to be upset afterward. He says he underestimated her. He thought she was only making something bad even worse by taking advantage of him, but she went beyond that, making him feel guilty for what he didn’t do. She tore everything apart over a lie. He says there’s something wrong with her. Well, yeah, I thought all that was explained already.

Jax and Carly kiss their way into the bedroom. There’s a song part and they get busy. I get busy too, doing some quick chores.

Alexis thinks someone must have stolen Julian’s wallet. He wouldn’t travel by bus or even fly coach. Nathan asks if he would temporarily lower his standards. Alexis says she thinks he had money stashed away, and wouldn’t use a credit card if he was on the run. She tells Nathan that she’s tired, and they agree to let each other know if there’s anything new. Nice earrings, Alexis! As soon as Nathan is gone, Alexis grabs her coat and leaves.

Jason tells Elizabeth that there’s a massive difference between Sam and Franco. Elizabeth agrees, saying that Franco did a lot of art therapy with Jake, and if he’s going to open up to anyone, it’s Franco. Franco calls and tells them about Jake showing up. Jason says he’ll be right there. Elizabeth wonders how Jake got there. She says she doesn’t want Jason getting into it with Franco, and says she’ll drive. Jason promises Sam that he’ll control himself.

Michael tells Kristina that he’s not making excuses for Nelle. He says she took advantage of them at their most vulnerable. He tells Kristina about Nelle’s new job with Valentin, but says what matters is their parents. Kristina doesn’t think Carly should be so judgey, but Michael says that Sonny is just as bad. He thinks Sonny can fix it if he’ll wait. Kristina says the only way that’s going to happen is if he talks Sonny into it. Michael doesn’t want to play referee, but she says as the big brother, he has to step in.

Um…too late. Carly and Jax bask in the afterglow. Jax asks if it was wrong or very right, and Carly kisses him.

Nelle tells Sonny that there’s nothing left to say except that she was so wrong. She can’t change things. Sonny says she kept building on the lie and milking it, while he and Carly grieved and tried to hang on to what was left with their marriage. He goes over everything that Nelle did. He asks why the confession now; she’s in the wrong place for absolution. She asks why it matters then. He asks what’s in it for her, and she says that she doesn’t want it weighing on her. He says that after everything she did, she wants him to believe it was just guilty conscience? He doesn’t buy it. Michael walks in and asks what he doesn’t buy.

Carly tells Jax why complicate things? He thinks some context might be appropriate. She says they needed it. He says she always has a purpose, and she says it felt good to laugh again. He says they have nothing to do for a few hours, so…

Alexis goes to Sam’s place. She tells Sam about Nathan’s visit, and asks if that’s why Sam wanted her to stay at the spa. Sam says she didn’t want to worry Alexis, but Alexis says Sam can’t protect her from the world. Sam tells her that Curtis is working on it, but so far came up empty handed. Alexis asks what Sam isn’t telling her.

Jake is doing some painting, and Franco instructs him to attack the canvas. Jake says, go big or go home. Franco says they’re buddies, but he can talk to Andre – he’s one of the good guys. Jake says, but Franco gets it. He tells Franco about the action figures, and how he picked the scarecrow. He says it’s just a game though, and not as good as the stories with Franco. Elizabeth and Jason show up. Jake says he thought he could trust Franco, but he’s just like the rest of them.

Elizabeth says Franco is right, and the babysitter is very upset because she feels like she did something wrong. Jason says he’s too young to be out alone. Franco tells Jake that Jason is right and his parents call the shots. Jason wants to speak with Franco alone. Franco tells him to take his best shot. Jason says that’s what Franco wants.

Sam tells Alexis about the screen grab. Alexis thinks she knows who made the call. Sam shows her the picture.

Jax wonders what they should call it, and Carly says a rewind. He asks for some wine, and she leaves to get it. He says no guilt, no regret, and she says none.

Michael says he was waiting for Nelle like she had asked him to. She says she shouldn’t have come to Sonny’s house and shouldn’t have come to Port Charles. Sonny says she doesn’t want to be there when he tells Michael what she told him. He tells Michael about Nelle drugging him, and explains what happened, saying that it was all a twisted lie. He wants to tell Carly immediately. He tells Michael to tell Nelle to go, and get out of their lives forever. He leaves.

Michael tells Nelle that Sonny believes her because it absolves him, but she could just be telling him what he wants to hear. He asks if she really slept with Sonny, or drugged him and lied about it. Nelle explains that she didn’t want to sleep with Sonny, and thought it would be more decent. Michael wonders how that word could come out of her mouth. What she did is not only illegal, but she knows who Sonny is and what he does to his enemies. He asks why she didn’t tell him the truth. She says she was going to, but owed it to Sonny first; hurting Michael and Josslyn wasn’t in her plan. He snarks that being collateral damage makes him feel special. Nelle says she was going to tell him everything. He says that she threw away her last chance. She says they can still be friends, but he tells her to leave now.

Sonny bangs on Carly’s door. She tells him it’s not a good time, but he walks in anyway. He says that he has to tell her something that will change everything

Jason says that Franco acted like a responsible adult just to score points with Elizabeth. Jason doesn’t want Jake there again, and Franco repeats that he didn’t invite Jake over. Because Jason is so dense, he says that Franco convinced Jake that he understands him. He says don’t come near his kid again. Franco says that he does understand Jake better than Jason, and its pissing Jason off. Elizabeth comes in and asks what’s going on.

Alexis tells Sam that if Julian is alive, why is he torturing her? Sam says that she shouldn’t have told her. Curtis calls. After speaking with him, Sam tells Alexis that they know who used Julian’s card.

Jason tells Elizabeth that they were just discussing Jake’s well-being, and that the studio is off limits. Elizabeth says if Jake wants to paint, they’ll do it at home. Franco wonders why Jake came and feels more comfortable with him, and Jason says he’s a good manipulator. Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake is a great kid and takes after his mom.  They leave, and Franco cleans up. He finds a roll of paper and unrolls it. It’s the timeline. He looks at the scarecrow. Now there’s a boy hiding behind a tree next to it. Franco says Jake left this for him.

Nathan and Kristina have coffee. He says he wants to talk about Julian. Kristina says he’s dead. Nathan says Julian’s body was never recovered, and stranger things have been known to happen. That’s for sure. You can be in the middle of an explosion in Port Charles and still be alive. You could be the guy holding the bomb. Nathan thinks Alexis is keeping something from him, and might be placing herself in danger.

Sam says that Curtis traced the charge to a kid who found the card, and he said he purchased a bus ticket with it. The story checks out, since he was a runaway who had the card on him. Alexis says that doesn’t prove if Julian is dead or alive. Sam asks what answer she was hoping for, but Alexis doesn’t know.

The hooded figure lurks outside of Alexis’s house and opens the door. He goes inside.

Nelle begs Michael to believe her. He made her think she could move forward, not live in the past, and stop the plan, but it was too late. She doesn’t expect forgiveness now, but hopes someday he can. She couldn’t take it if he hated her. He says he can’t fix her; it’s not his job. He closes the door, leaving her on the porch crying.

Carly tells Sonny that it has to wait, but Sonny says it means a whole new beginning, and to just listen. He never slept with Nelle.

Tomorrow, Curtis meets with Hayden, Kristina asks what Alexis is hiding, and Sonny says he and Carly can be together.

Southern Charm

Whitney drops in on Thomas. We flash back to the pool party, and Whitney calls Thomas the Hugh Hefner of Charleston. He thinks being away from Kathryn has mellowed Thomas. Whitney says he’s single and ready to mingle, as his long-distance relationship became too long of a distance.

Kathryn tells us that the past year has been the worst. We flash back to the reunion where it was revealed she didn’t pass a drug test. She’s disappointed in herself, and totally humiliated. Geez, it’s not like it was heroin, for God’s sake. She visits a friend whose name I missed, but she’s been on the show before, and tells her about going to rehab. She says Thomas has temporary full custody, and she and Thomas aren’t on speaking terms right now. She’s hoping for eventual joint custody, having passed another drug test. They talk about Jennifer. Kathryn is skeptical of her friendship, since she’s been friendly with Thomas.

On her way to visit Jennifer, Cameran talks to her mother on the phone. They discuss Jennifer’s new baby having surgery. In her interview, Cameran tells us how not interested she is in having her own baby. She says she’s living her truth and it’s an empty one. I believe she’s referring to an empty nest, but I wish she’d worded that differently. A childless life isn’t necessarily an empty one. And there are always dogs. She arrives at Jennifer’s, bearing a baby gift. They look at baby Ascher, who is with the nanny. The poor thing needed brain surgery the day he was born because of brain matter protruding from his skull, but he’s doing well. Jennifer has an entire closet full of baby clothes for the rest of the Ascher’s baby life. Cameran says he’s cute and cuddly, but she still can’t find any maternal instincts.

Jennifer talks about Thomas reaching out, and Cameran tells her how well he’s taking care of the kids. She asks if Jennifer has talked to Kathryn, but she says no. This is kind of a shame, since Jennifer had been very supportive of Kathryn last season. Jennifer claims she “loves to love people,” but I get the feeling that it’s more like she loves to be loved. That kind of person doesn’t always make for a loyal friend.

Shep meets with Craig at some batting cages. Craig says baseball was his life growing up, and he wanted to play in the major leagues. After he gets up to bat, I see why that idea fizzled. Shep tells him about talking to Naomie. He asks how long Craig has known he didn’t graduate from law school, but Craig says it’s been no secret. Shep wonders if Craig has a secret family somewhere, since he never seems to tell the truth, and they discuss him mailing the last test out. Craig wonders why Shep is obsessed with this, and Shep says he doesn’t think Craig wants to be a lawyer. Craig calls Shep a loser. In his interview, he says Shep is 36, and still going out every night. He wonders why he has to prove himself to his friends. Craig suggests they drop it. I’m with Craig on this. He’s 27, and if he wants to try different things, and as long as he’s not sitting around on his ass, who cares? He’s also a very nice and diplomatic guy. And it’s not like he’s asking to borrow money either.

Landon (ew!) works with her interns on her website. She says it’s finally starting to come together. She was humiliated after last year’s meeting with the internet dude. We flash back to him telling her all she had was a handful of papers. She needed to figure out how to take her idea to the technology world “which is so new to her.” I’m not even sure what to say about that. She wants to prove herself to her family. We flash back to her father telling her that she can’t live off of her dreams. She gets all teary, and says she’s putting herself out there. She doesn’t think she’ll get another chance, and if this doesn’t work, she’ll have to work for her dad in real estate. This woman is so ridiculous.

Cameran meets with Chelsea, and asks if she’s attending “Landon’s thing.” By the rest of the conversation, I assume Landon is having some kind of launch party. Cameran thinks Chelsea might be the one to change Shep into a one-woman man. She says that Chelsea is the female version of Shep, except she’s not a whore. Alrighty then.

Austen, Whitney and Shep go out for some food. Whitney welcomes Austen to the group. They talk about the pool party, and Shep shows interest in Chelsea. He says he, Chelsea and Cameran are going out in a couple of days, and he’s going to see if they really click. Whitney talks about Landon having a showing for her website, and that they’re supposed to critique it. They probably already know that anything less than a compliment will make her cry. Shep tells them about how Landon met with a group of internet developers, and she acted like a jerk. They were angry and appalled. In his interview, Shep says Landon wants to be the hipster queen of Charleston.

Naomie gets home, and Craig tells her about Landon’s test launch. Naomie is working on her masters, and says they’re on totally different schedules. She wonders what Craig actually does, and we see him giving cat Gizmo a ride in the wheelbarrow. Craig tells her about Shep’s ambush, saying it’s not like Shep has any kind of career path. Naomie says that their circumstances are different. In her interview, she says in her perfect world, Craig would pass the bar, they’d both get great jobs, make loads of money, and travel the world, but it takes work, and she’s not his babysitter. Uh-oh. It’s never good to look at a boyfriend like a fixer-upper. Craig says that Shep brought some of the others into it, and he doesn’t want to have to prove himself to anyone. He thinks it’s just going to be group settings for a while.

Landon is proud of herself. She wants to show her friends that she has a real job. Omg, she can’t even talk on the phone without saying “um” a thousand times. Everyone gets ready for the party. Thomas compliments his reflection in French. He thinks Landon is misread, and that she can really follow through. Enjoy being alone in that opinion.

The party is at a bar. Good move getting them drunk before they look at the website. Landon greets her friends. Drew is wearing a tuxedo, and shows off his cufflinks. Cameran arrives, and looks like she didn’t comb her hair for the occasion, so I’m confused about the dress code. Whitney brings a girl named Daisy, who looks like she’s dressed from a 1920s fashion catalog. Whoa. She’s very animated too.

Cameran tells Craig that she’s mad at him for telling Shep that they’re not real friends. He tells her what Shep said about them keeping him out of the loop. Craig says that Shep claimed that everyone is mad at him for not taking the bar, and that’s why he’s not in the group chat anymore. Shep told him that they make fun of him, and Cameran says they do make fun of his Instagram, showing us some examples in her interview. Craig says if they don’t want to be friends, fine.

Shep thinks he looks like a Creamsicle. Chelsea says they go well together. Everyone looks at the site. Apparently, Landon doesn’t write the content, so I’m not sure what it is she does do. Shep flirts with Naomie, annoying Craig. Thomas talks about pixilation like he knows what he’s talking about. Chelsea flirts with the other guys, and Cameran tells Shep he needs to lay claim. He’s like, free love, and makes a peace sign. Everyone congratulates Landon. They’re just happy that anything she’s attempted exists at all. Landon says she has a purpose now. Shep face palms in his interview. He takes Landon to the side, and asks her impressions of the developers who she talked to. He tells her that critiquing their software was a bad idea, and how she came off entitled. He tells her that first impressions last a long time. She complains that they talked down to her, and Shep tells her that entrepreneurs have to eat a lot of sh*t when they start out. She says when she’s not bitchy, she gets taken advantage of, and when she is, she’s a bitch. Shep tells her just say she’ll take it under advisement, and kill them with kindness. In her interview, she says that Shep has never had a job and rained on her parade. She tells one of her friends that Shep called her a bitch. Now she wants to go home. Don’t forget to take your dolls and jacks with you.

Chelsea meets Craig at his bar. In his interview, he says her being friends with Cameran changes the stakes of the game, but anything can happen. Cameran joins them, feeling like a third wheel. She points out the sparkle in Shep’s eye and he says it’s because he’s not hung over. The liquor comes, and he tells them that there are kids who aren’t drunk in China, so drink up.

They discuss Landon’s website. Shep talks about an app he’s investing in, but it’s not Landon’s. He tells them what the web guys had to say about Landon, and how she didn’t take it well when he told her. Cameran thinks she should give Shep and Chelsea some privacy, and Shep says what happens with Chelsea, stays with Chelsea.

Next time, Kathryn tries to get a modeling job, Chelsea and Shep spend the night together, and Naomie suggests Craig not be so last minute with everything.

Vanderpump Rules – The Reunion Part Two

Andy asks Lisa why she had such mixed emotions about firing James, when it didn’t take much to fire Kristen. Lisa says she did Kristen a favor when she fired her, but James had problems. She says he didn’t seem in control, but when she saw the footage, realized how provocative he’d been. Jax says he’s like a wind-up doll – give him alcohol and he goes. We flash back to some of that. James says he’s got triggers, man, he’s got triggers. It’s bizarre how these kids talk like beatniks and hippies from another time. Ariana says he and Jax are a lot alike. Andy asks Lisa why she told James to stay away from alcohol, like that’s not obvious. She says that when he drinks, he turns into a monster, and he’s young enough to get a grip.

Time to talk about Montauk. Andy is amused that the group had to google what a clambake was. Kristen informs us that the urban dictionary has a different definition involving weed. Andy asks about Scheana’s restrictive diet, and all the girls talk at once. Scheana feels that she gets picked on for being stringent with herself. Andy finally has to tell them to shut up.

Ariana’s birthday is discussed. Andy brings up how Jax was just out of surgery, and asks if he followed doctor’s orders during the NASCAR weekend. That would be a no regarding alcohol. They talk about how nasty it was, living in the RV together. Andy asks about Lala seeming to accept the groups’ olive branch, and then ghosting them at the last minute. Lala claims she was in panic attack mode, especially since Jax made her feel like she wasn’t wanted beforehand. She didn’t want to be cooped up in an RV with that. Tom says he made it clear that wouldn’t happen, and that it’s more like she didn’t feel like going. She says she wishes it was that simple, but he doesn’t believe her. He asks if her boyfriend was in town, and she says he lives in LA. Tom says that a friend outed her about being at the Beverly Hills Hotel that weekend.

Andy basically asks where Lala’s money comes from. She says her family has money, and her mother pays most of her bills. The Range Rover is brought up, because we can never, ever forget about that, and there’s a bunch of nonsense about the car. Andy asks if she was dating a married man.

Lala says no, and that no one will ever get the answer they’re looking for. He asks if she’s still dating the same person, and she won’t answer. Lisa says she deliberately creates intrigue. Stassi says if she wants respect, she has to give the same. Tom says that Stassi did the same thing in season three, but Stassi says that was Patrick’s choice. She says they put their lives out there, and Lala doesn’t have the right to lie. Lala says that Stassi knows nothing about her situation, and it’s nobody’s business. She tells Stassi to stop being a mean girl and gets nasty. Tom says he would love not to have his personal life on the show, or how about Tom and Katie? He tells Lala that it’s not fair. Stassi’s situation isn’t really comparable here. We knew about Patrick, he just didn’t want to be on the show. There are plenty of SOs we don’t see on reality shows.

Andy asks why Kristen thought James was the key to taking Lala down, and it’s universally agreed that James is easily manipulated. Andy asks why he agreed to meet with them, and he says they sucked him in with their lies. The girls are insistent that they weren’t lying; that this is what they heard. Andy asks about the NDA (non-disclosure agreement) from Lala. Lala explains why she would do something like that. Brittany calls it an NBA, and says she doesn’t even know what it is, so Andy has to explain. Lala says she had a bad experience, and wants to control what people post online about her. Tom suggests she not be around people she can’t trust.

They get off track, and Andy tries to corral the group. He asks Lala if the real reason was that her boyfriend didn’t want the relationship disclosed. She says she has NDAs to protect her life off of the show. Andy is like no offense, but why are you so special? He talks about her withdrawing, and she says she was becoming an unhealthy individual. She was liquored up 24/7 and not in a good head space. He asks why Lisa tried to convince her to stay. Lisa says running back to mommy is no way to grow up, and Lala is stronger than she thinks.

Andy asks if it’s really good-by for Lala with the group, and everyone goes, nah. Lala apologizes to everybody for being mean. Schwartz says she’s awesome, considering. Lala says when someone comes into a situation where everyone has their dukes up already, defensiveness is to be expected. We say good-by to Lala – for now.

Next up are Tom and Ariana. Tom’s animosity about Ariana’s cocktail book is discussed. Ariana felt he shouldn’t just jump in after she put in the initial footwork, but the end result was they’re both doing the book. Andy asks why Ariana doesn’t want Tom to put a ring on it. She says she just doesn’t see the point, and everyone pushing it is getting irritating. Andy mentions that Brittany has been planning her wedding for her entire life, and Jax suggests Denny’s as a venue. Stassi says that her family marries and divorces for sport.

We cover the comedy night where Jax’s d*ck pic was revealed, and thankfully, which Brittany’s mother did not attend. I could swear this was the prior season. Jax says he only cared because of Brittany, who says they promised nothing like that would happen again. Lisa thought it was tacky, thoughtless, and mean. Andy asks why Brittany brought her mother to the roast, and Lisa says she was horrified. We flash back to Lisa cautioning Brittany’s mother about Jax. Lisa says if Brittany was her daughter, she wouldn’t be too happy. Andy brings up Brittany’s mother being most upset by the thought of Jax kissing a guy, which I think is weird too. Jax says he probably would have been more concerned about the cheating and the drugs. Tom thought it was inappropriate, but Jax says that it’s to be expected from a mom. Brittany talks about her mother getting a huge amount of flack on social media, and says she isn’t homophobic in any way. Andy says as a gay guy, he totally understood. Jax says she lives in a different, very conservative world.

We go back in time to Jax’s visit to Kentucky. A lot of it involves animals and four-wheelers. And Jax being grilled about marrying Brittany. I don’t remember this at all. Did they even show any of this?

Stassi’s younger brother Nicolai is introduced. The voice of reason. Stassi calls him brave for being on the show, and I agree. Andy asks what he thought about Stassi and Jax as a couple. He says it was good at first, but went wrong. We flash back to a conversation between him and Jax. Patrick is discussed. Tom asks Stassi if he knocked the show and Andy asks if that’s part of the reason she left. She says he wasn’t too happy about it, and she did partly leave for that reason, but he seemed supportive once she left. Andy asks if Nicolai is sad about the Patrick break-up, and Nicolai drops pearls of wisdom. Stassi says she doesn’t take him seriously until she sees it on TV. We flash back to him telling her that life is tough, especially in your 20s. Andy asks how he’s so wise, and he says that he just absorbs it. We also learn that Sex in the City is one of his favorite shows. Andy asks what the weirdest thing about Stassi is. Nicolai tells us about her reaction during a cringeworthy moment. He says he’s proud about her sticking up for herself and that she really does care about other people. I think she does. For goodness’ sake, she cried when she heard Schwartz had cheated on Katie.

Andy asks for advice for everyone. Schwartz is first. Nicolai thinks Schwartz shouldn’t call girls bitches. Schwartz says he’s working on that, and Nicolai tells him to work harder. He suggests Katie lower it down on the drinking, and she’ll get more friends. He tells Jax that he’s going to die alone and drunk if he doesn’t change his ways. Out of the mouths of babes. He tells Ariana to think about other people more. Scheana is told that there’s no picking a side. She says she doesn’t, but actually, in not picking a side, you’re picking a side. Think about it. Nicolai says there’s no problem with Brittany, and tells Lisa to keep up the great business work. She thinks maybe she should hire him as her personal advisor. He also says nothing is wrong on Andy’s end.

The events up to Katie’s wedding are discussed. Scheana talks about feeling excluded. Kristen accuses her of not contributing, but she insists she did. We move on to Lisa’s shower gift of a blow-up doll named Katie, and Katie gushes over Pandora’s spa day gift. Andy brings up the altercation between Katie and Scheana, and we flash back to the disastrous bridesmaids’ lunch. Katie thinks Scheana deflects, but Scheana says that Katie is mean when she drinks. She says there’s a difference between a drinking problem and being an alcoholic. She tells Katie that everyone has had a problem with Katie’s drinking at one time or another. We flash back to all that. She insists that she’s never called Katie an alcoholic. Katie says she doesn’t have a problem either. <sigh>

Andy asks Stassi how it felt to have Ariana tell her that she didn’t give a flying. Stassi says Ariana has consistently hurt her feelings. Ariana says that Stassi is manipulating, and she didn’t believe that her feelings were really hurt. The girls all protest, and Ariana says whenever she answers a question honestly, she’s the a-hole. Katie says she’s holding Stassi accountable for things she did in the past and she doesn’t know who Stassi is today. Schwartz says that was the 2012 Stassi. Ariana says there’s no difference, and brings up Stassi saying that she’s wanted to crack her. Stassi says it wasn’t meant to be mean, and the girls all say she was just joking. Ariana says maybe she doesn’t want to be friends with people who joke like that. She thought it was another opportunity for Stassi to be the victim. She always wants people to be apologizing. Stassi says no matter what, they won’t like her.

Next time, The Reunion Part Three, Shay joins the group, the Vegas trip is discussed, and so is Katie’s drinking.

🚑 Better Call Saul returned tonight. I watched most of the first season, and it was much better (and funnier) than I expected it to be. So much good TV, so little time.

🐮 On Sweet Home Oklahoma, Lee’s new neighbor cut down a tree on her property immediately upon moving in, claiming that he “knocked on her door.” I’m in awe of her self-control in not totally going off on the neighbor. Angie aka Pumps suggested that she throw some baseballs through the neighbor’s window, and then say she knocked on the door. Instead, Lee plants some shrubs in the shape of a middle finger. I like it. Jennifer also planned a party for her French bulldog, Tubbers. She and her 9-year-old son then conspired to tell Pumps that it’s a costume party – when it’s not – because she’s given Jennifer so much grief over calling Tubbers a service dog. They were both dying laughing while setting it up, and it almost made me wish I had a kid. Almost. I love these people. They’re definitely a group I could hang out with.

👂 I gotta mention this. I was raised by a sailor, so I’m fine with cursing, but it’s not something I think should be taught to kids. Why am I saying this? I’ve been watching TV a long time – it was my babysitter growing up – and I have never heard so much cursing. I lost count of how many times I heard sh*t, especially during The Walking Dead, but now the f-word is getting pretty close to being openly said. It’s still bleeped, but just barely, and all you need to hear are the first and last letter to have your mental ear fill in the rest. And I’m not talking a cable station like HBO. Bravo, I’m talkin’ to you.

Apr10

April 9, 2017 – Gearing Up for a Black Fairy Battle & Are You Wives or Shade Trees?

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

The Black Fairy carries a baby through the clouds. She lands in a coal mine. She tells a woman that this one isn’t for the mine. He’s to be cared for as though he was hers. (Or she could have said, it is mine. BA-DUM-CHH!) She tells baby Gideon that he won’t be needing the book any more, and tosses it aside.

In Storybrooke, Gideon tells Emma they’ll destroy the Black Fairy together. It’s impossible for Hook to return without her helping him. She knocks him down with some magic, and says if he doesn’t bring Hook back, she’ll make him do it. Gideon says she doesn’t frighten him; nothing does. She has no idea what he’s been through, being raised by the Black Fairy. He says that there are many waiting for him to protect them, and he’s very far from the bad guy. They have a common cause, whether she realizes it or not. He disappears, poof! in a puff of amber smoke.

Back in Gideon’s childhood days, the children the Black Fairy has imprisoned are being read to by Gideon. He says as long as he’s around, they’ll be safe from her. The Black Fairy enters, wishing them sweet dreams. She has a special bedtime story for Gideon, but she says that she sees he already has one, and takes the book from him. He says his real mother gave it to him, but she says she’s his real mother. Gideon says she’s not, and never will be. She says just because his mother was a hero, doesn’t make him one, and she’s going to show him exactly who he is.

She drags one of the children out of a cell. She tells him that if he wants to be a hero, to show her. The child cries to Gideon for help, but he does nothing. The Black Fairy calls him a coward, and says he has much to learn – from her.

In the present, Emma tells Gold that she has questions and she wants answers. She tells him that his son has a death wish. He banished Hook and wants her to help kill the Black Fairy. Gold explains that the Black Fairy is his mother. Belle says he wasn’t born evil; the Black Fairy made him this way. Gold says that’s not the only reason to save him, and that destroying the Black Fairy will save all of them. At present, she can only break out of her realm long enough to steal more children, but If she breaks free from her realm for good, it will be a disaster. He tells Emma that all of the darkness she’s ever faced comes from the Black Fairy, and if she isn’t destroyed, they’re doomed.

Regina works at the cauldron. She tells Henry that casting a curse is one thing, but breaking it’s another. Henry tells her that if anyone can break her own curse, it’s her. She says she’s undone everything, except the big one. She asks if Henry can go pick up some tongue of newt – not the eye. Henry suddenly starts writing furiously in some kind of code, and cataracts cover his eyes.

Some time ago, Gideon asks the Black Fairy what she wants. She says it’s his 28th birthday. She thought they should celebrate, since he’s grown into a strong, loyal son, and his magic has blossomed. She can’t find the key to her vault, and tells him it was stolen. She instructs him to go to the mines, find out who’s responsible, and make them pay. She puts something that looks like a dog whistle around his neck, and he goes.

Moving forward, Emma goes to the clock tower. She tells Gideon that he reminds her of Henry when he first needed her help. She asks for the sword, and he gives it to her. She says they have a deal, and let’s get her pirate back.

In another realm, Hook goes into a bar (not the start of a joke), and dumps out a load of gems on the card table. Blackbeard says he’s interrupting the game, and draws his sword. Hook says he needs a magic bean, and these are the finest gems from Agrabah. He has one more thing to offer. Blackbeard hasn’t had a vessel since he lost the Jolly Roger, and Hook asks, what’s a pirate without a ship? He suggests playing a hand of cards for the ship. Everyone gets out of the way, and Hook sits down.

Right now, Gideon takes Emma to the sorcerer’s mansion. Emma says extreme magic isn’t like hailing a cab, but Gideon says she has him. He zaps them both inside, and tells her to arrange the ingredients that are on the table. She lights a candle, and he hands her the napkin that has her tears on it. A huge claw comes bursting through the door, followed by a giant spider. Gideon says it’s a message. I guess the Black Fairy hasn’t heard about texting. They throw bolts of magic at the spider, and Emma tells Gideon to run. Since I’m not afraid of spiders, this has never been my horror thing, but as spiders go, this one is pretty scary.

Back at the mines, Gideon tells everyone to gather around. He says his mother has been generous to them, and one of them has stolen the key from her. If it’s returned now, they’ll only face his wrath. He says with just a bit of magic, he can turn them into vermin. He pulls a kid out, and another one steps forward, saying it was him. He asks if Gideon remembers him. He reminds Gideon that he once read to him, but Gideon says he has no choice. The kid says he had no choice then, but he has a choice now; he knows his old friend is still in there. He tells Gideon to be the hero that he was meant to be, and help defeat the Black Fairy.

In the Storybrooke realm, the spider shoots webs on everything. Gideon says Emma’s magic is the only one strong enough to get into the Black Fairy’s realm. Webs are going everywhere, and they jet.

Sliding sideways, Blackbeard asks Hook what’s so important. Hook says the woman he loves is in danger. Blackbeard thinks maybe he should have kept the ship, and shows his hand, which I guess is a good one, but I don’t play cards. I could barely remember the high-scoring roles of the dice in Yahtzee when I went through a Yahtzee phase. Blackbeard tells Hook that it’s time to pay up. They go to the docks, but Hook says he forgot to mention that the ship is in the realm where Emma is, and he’ll have to give him the bean to get there. He also tells Blackbeard that he saw the six aces in his deck. Blackbeard says well played, but he’s coming along.

In the here and now, Regina asks Henry what the writing is about, but he doesn’t know. He asks why this happened, but Regina has no answers. She does know someone who might though. They go to a hospital. Emma says if Henry’s problem is being the author, they should ask the last one. She says hello to Isaac, and says they need to talk.

Isaac says he’s heard of this happening, but it never happened to him. He doesn’t think what he did was enough to get him locked up, and Regina says that he tried to kill them all. He says a writer needs motivation and inspiration. He wants out and a sports car; he wants to go back to the Big Apple. She suggests she drive a sports car over his head. He repeats that he wants freedom, a sports car, New York City, and because she’s being a pain, Hamilton tickets. I literally LOL. He says Henry’s writing is taking over, and he’s more powerful than he realizes. It’s only going to get worse, and Henry could end up in the cell next door.

Gideon and Emma run from the spider. He tells her she should leave, but she’s staying to help him.

Back in the mines, the kid asks where Gideon is taking him. Gideon explains that the reason the Black Fairy is collecting dust in the mine, is that she’s obsessed with perfecting the Dark Curse. Gideon asks what happened after he left, and the kid says it’s better left unsaid. Gideon apologizes, and says he regrets his weakness every day. The kid says they were children, but now they must stop her before it’s too late. The Savior can help them. He’s heard rumors of a crystal ball that can help them communicate across realms.

In the present day sorcerer’s mansion, the spider is squirting webs all over, and they’re covering everything. Emma and Gideon can’t leave the house. Emma gets stuck in a web, and Gideon takes the sword. He says once she’s dead, he can use the sword to channel the powers to another realm. The spider blocks the door. Gideon tells Emma that Hook’s return is impossible, and says he told her to walk away. He disappears, poof! in a puff of ocher smoke.

In whatever realm they landed, Blackbeard asks Hook where the Jolly Roger is, but Hook says it’s not his realm; something went wrong. He says whatever dark magic banished him, must have kept him from getting back. They hear whooping in the distance. Hook thinks he knows what it is. The Lost Boys. They’re in Neverland. The Lost Boys come after them, and they run.

Back to today, Emma struggles against the web. The spider screeches. Emma breaks free, but the spider binds her in a web cocoon. She gasps for air. In the clock tower, the sword is aglow. Gideon slices the air with it, and opens a portal. Emma is pulled toward the spider. The portal door in the clock tower starts to fizzle out, the spider suddenly backs off of Emma, and Gold appears. He wakes Emma, the magic withdraws from the sword. Emma and Gold make the spider tiny, and Emma steps on it. Too bad things don’t work that way IRL. Gold asks where Gideon is. Emma says he tried to kill her, and she’s sorry, but he can’t be saved; he’s evil.

The kid and Gideon look for the orb in a magic fish tank. Gideon pulls it out, and the kid (sorry, didn’t catch his name and figure he’s dispensable, so he’s been dubbed “the kid”) thanks him. The orb shatters, and the Black Fairy appears. She says she led them here, just like she led Gideon’s friend to the key. Gideon says it was a test. She says he was supposed to be different; he was a gift. She says his parents abandoned him, but she shared everything with him, and this is how he repays her. She’s disappointed in him. He says he should have stood up to her years ago. He’s not letting her do something terrible; the people have suffered long enough. Her lackeys grab the kid, and Gideon smacks her. She says there are many ways to hurt a person. She turns the kid into a spider, and she steps on him. She says Gideon could have saved him eons ago, but didn’t, so this is on him – and her boot. Okay, that was good. He calls her a monster. He says he’ll find the Savior and the Savior will destroy her. The Black Fairy says she knows all about the Savor, and has plans for her, just like she has plans for him. She takes his heart, and says now he’s hers in every way. He’ll do whatever she says. He’ll find the Savior and kill her. When the Savior dies, the sword will free her from her prison.

In Neverland, Blackbeard says that he thought Pan was dead. Hook says he is, and the Lost Boys took over. They get to the shore, and Blackbeard knocks Hook out. There’s a single canoe, and he makes a run for it. He tells Hook to enjoy his stay, adding, we’re pirates, what did you expect? He reminds Hook that he still owes him the ship. Uh-oh, here come the Lost Boys bearing torches.

Snow and Belle meet with Gold and Emma. Emma explains what happened, and tells them that Gideon is evil. Gold says he needs help. She says he needs to take responsibility for his actions, and Gold says he’ll do what he can to stop Gideon from being harmed. Snow says that they didn’t start this fight. Emma suggests they go home.

Belle tells Gold that Gideon is ripping them apart. He’s only been there a few days, and already caused all kinds of destruction. She thinks Emma is right, but Gold says he’s with the two of them now, and the Black Fairy’s damage is over.

In the clock tower, Gideon says that the Black Fairy’s plan failed. The Savior survived.

The Black Fairy appears – no poofing, no smoke. Gideon says the portal closed, but the Black Fairy says that as Emma’s life ebbed away, the portal opened just enough for her to slip through. She tells him he played his part to the hilt, and he says that he had no choice. She says a part of him wanted to help her, part of him always does. He says of course. She says good, because they have much to do.

Isaac tells Regina that he wanted sports car, and wouldn’t drive this to a Ping-Pong tournament. This, is a station wagon. He supposes the Hamilton tickets are a no, and says nobody’s magic is that powerful. Very funny dialogue tonight. Isaac suggests that they follow him. He tells her that if she wants to know what’s going on, to take a look at the book. Henry says it’s the final chapter, and Isaac says, end of story. Henry asks what happens to the Savior, and Isaac says she fights the final battle – and nobody wants to be around to see that. He drives away into the night.

Next time, the Black Fairy squares off with Emma, history will be rewritten and the past will be altered, everyone could be trapped forever, and Snow and David must decide whether or not Emma will be born.

💀 Yeah, now that The Walking Dead finally reeled me back in, the season is over.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta some of the ladies continue to act like children, mostly Phaedra and Porsha. Phaedra blows my mind, because she’s beyond shady; she’s downright nasty. She’s constantly after Kandi – I guess because she and Todd are friends with Apollo – but she never ceases to top herself. Now she’s involved in a lawsuit against Kandi by one of Kandi’s ex-employees. Bleh. Although when Kandi said that Phaedra was like Geppetto with a bunch of Pinocchios around her, I nearly fell off my chair, laughing. There was a party to unveil Chateau Sheree, and I have to say, both the party and house were very cool. Even if the house does have an unfinished basement, which Kenya made sure that we knew. Kim Zolciak Biermann made an appearance (is NeNe far behind?), and we had a fun flashback down Memory Lane, including the time Sheree tried to pull Kim’s wig off in the middle of the street. Good times… Kim and Kenya had an argument, and as usual, Porsha was falling out of her clothes. She also thinks her deceased father would be proud of her. For what? Assault charges, or not knowing that the Underground Railroad is not a real railroad? Cynthia tried to ditch Peter for the millionth time, so not much going on there. This was the finale, but the only interesting ending blurb was that Kandi wrote Ed Sheeran‘s recent hit, Shape of You. The reunion looks like it should be a doozie.

🍷 So far, The Real Housewives of Potomac is a bit of a snooze. Katie had her casino night, and everyone seemed way overdressed for the venue, which looked like a Holiday Inn meeting room. The night included a performance of the strangest tribute to the Jackson Five, or tribute to Michael Jackson (okay, I wasn’t paying attention, but it was a Jackson tribute), that I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen a lot of them. Or any really. It was a trio of dudes who looked and sounded like an act out of a high school middle school talent show. I honestly didn’t know what to make of it. We were introduced to new girl, Monique, whose husband is with the NFL. Maybe she’ll breathe some life into this already stale group.

🙌 And this goes for every other day of the week too…

MondayAwesome

Apr8

April 7, 2017 – Nelle Wants to Fix Things & the Wisdom of Don Rickles

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Franco creates a weird self-portrait. There’s a knock at the door, and Franco yanks it open, asking what is it? What it is, is Elizabeth. I guess he wasn’t expecting her.

Tracy rereads Edward’s letter. It says that he’s sure she’ll know where the painting should go. She says it’s coming home, and she knows exactly where to put it. Laura hears crying in the hallway again.

Nelle says that Michael should be happy to see her like this, but he doesn’t like to see anyone in pain. She says he’s too nice for his own good. She tells him that everything she’s known to be true in her life has turned out to be a lie. Not that it applies to this particular scene, but I keep thinking Sonny should at least have a clue that Nelle might have knocked him out and it never happened. It seems ridiculous that he’s just taking her word for it, and keeps wondering why he can’t remember anything.

Jax tells Carly that he always thought he was the more rational one, but Carly has never done anything this radical. He asks if they can bounce back from this, and if she can forgive him.

Dante tells Sonny the analysis on the pills should be back any minute. Ava overhears.

Elizabeth says she didn’t know Franco was working. She asks if he wants her to come back, but he asks her to come in. She thought he might want to know about Jake’s first appointment with Andre. She tells Franco that Andre made friends with Jake using action figures, and hopes he starts to open up. Franco tells her that she shouldn’t rush him. He tells her that Jake called him and asked him to come over to finish the timeline, but he followed the rules, and turned Jake away.

Tracy tells Laura about putting the painting over the fireplace in the den, and that Monica can be reminded of her every day at breakfast. Laura says that she heard the crying again. Tracy says it’s the wind. The head monk overhears, and says some of his students get homesick. He asks if Tracy will reconsider leaving the painting.

Nelle repeats what Jax told her, but he already knows. She says her father was never perfect, but knowing he needed her made her feel proud and closer to him. She felt like he loved her, but he told her that Carly cheated them both. She wanted revenge for the wrongdoing done to her family, but it was her own father who did it.

Jax tells Carly that he was desperate. He had no idea Frank would use his own daughter. He keeps saying that, but I’m not sure how that makes it any more okay. Carly says no matter what he did, she’s grateful. Josslyn is alive. Now Carly has to live with herself, knowing she benefited from Nelle’s pain. Jax says he’s lost so much, he doesn’t want to lose her.

Sonny tells Dante that a bottle of Morgan’s pills was unaccounted for. Maybe now they’ll find out what happened. Valerie brings the report to Dante, and sees Ava. Ava says she remembered she has an appointment, and Valerie asks what the hurry is. Dante tells Sonny that the lab did a full wipe down, and Sonny asks if there’s a match.

Elizabeth says Franco made the right decision. For now, this is how they have to do things. He says she’s the best mother on the planet.

Tracy tells the head monk that the painting is her last connection to her father, and nothing he says can make her part with it. He tells her that they could use the money, and she gives him a check. He thanks her for her generosity, although we don’t know how generous she is. I’m guessing not $20 million with of generous. On the side, Laura says it’s hardly Tracy’s last connection to her father; she has the beautiful letter he wrote, and she can treasure his words in her heart. Tracy says she’d prefer a tangible reminder, and I get confused, since the letter is tangible. Laura thinks that Edward would have wanted her to leave the painting. Tracy tells the head monk she knows that the painting is valuable, but to her, it’s priceless. He says he understands. Another monk stares at the painting.

Dante tells Sonny that there were no clear prints, and the bottle changed hands too many times for them to get any information. Valerie has Ava’s charm bracelet, but says she has to fill out a form to get anything back.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he wants to be there with her when the boys are growing up, but Jason concerns him. She says Andre will convince Jason otherwise. He told Sam and Jason that Jake senses tension in the household, and when things settle down, he’ll probably open up. She says Jake needs space for now, but she has no intention of cutting Franco out of her life.

Nelle tells Michael that Jax gave her father enough money to float them for years. He disappeared, and when he came back said that Carly had cheated him. She says that’s when she found this, and shows Michael a poker chip. She says when she found it, she thought he played the odds with what little they had, and came back with nothing. She didn’t want to believe he could be that stupid and selfish, so she convinced herself he was trying to make up for what Carly had cheated him out of. She never thought about it again, but kept the chip to remind her of what Carly had done. She says she literally gave up a part of herself, and only has the chip to show for it. She says this is why she’s been stuck in the past and couldn’t live her own life. She flings the poker chip away.

Carly says Jax is still processing everything, but Jax says he shouldn’t put it on her. She knows he’s worried about Josslyn. Jax says that Josslyn was upset about Lady Jane, and asks if they can put off telling her about Nelle. Carly tells him that they’ll figure out how and when to tell her, but right now she needs to grieve. Jax says he’s the reason his mother is dead. Geez.

Franco says he’s glad he didn’t slam the door in Elizabeth’s face. She says interrupting artists is never a good idea, but wants to take a peek at the work. He wants to drape her and include her in the piece. She says she’ll see what she can do, and starts to disrobe.

Dante tells Sonny that the perp seems too stupid to understand a plea deal, and his lawyer isn’t much better. Sonny asks if he can take the bottle with him; maybe it will give Carly closure. Dante says they have to hang on to it for the trial. He says he’ll do what he can to speed things along.

Nelle says her father made her believe he was the only one who cared about her, and everyone else was just out to get her. She says her attitude was to hurt them before they hurt her. Michael asks why she didn’t consider other options. She should have realized Carly wasn’t like that once she got to know her. Nelle says she thought Carly just felt guilty. She saw people the way her father did, and was taught to see the worst in people. She carried her hatred around, and doesn’t even know who she is without it. Nothing seems real except how she feels about Michael.

Carly says Jax’s mother was sick. He says she was getting better until he told her about Nelle. He saw Carly getting close to her, and confessed to his mother. She forgave him, but she was devastated and blamed herself. She questioned what she did wrong as a mother with his brother, Jerry. He was her consolation, but he wasn’t the man she raised him to be either. He says he’s just as responsible for his mother’s death. Confession time for me too. I’ve been calling Jax “Jax” for so long, I’d forgotten his first name. When he mentioned Jerry, I looked it up. It’s Jasper. I don’t think anyone has ever called him that.

Michael says Nelle hurt his entire family, and he doesn’t get how she could do that. She says their friendship was real, and brings up their time in the cabin. He remembers her saying that she didn’t deserve to be happy. She reminds him of telling her that she could choose a new path. It was the first time she had hope. She says if only they’d met before she decided to go down that road. Michael says it’s too late; she did what she did, and there’s no way to take it back. She says maybe there is.

Elizabeth comes out in a blanket, and there’s a song part. Franco starts to include her in the painting, but I don’t think much in the way of artwork is going to happen. He tells her how beautiful she is, and she reveals her shoulders. He starts to paint. She looks at the finished product – the both of them, side-by-side, but Franco is upside down and Elizabeth is more colorful. She takes the blanket off.

Laura tells Tracy let’s just get the painting and go, but when they go back in the room, they only see an empty easel.

Nelle tells Michael what if she could make it go away? Michael tells her it’s already done. She asks him to wait. She thinks there’s something she can do to fix things. If any part of what they had is real, he’ll wait for her.

Sonny remembers Carly going through Morgan’s journal, saying that he’s taking the pills and not understanding why they’re not working. He remembers them talking about the missing bottle.

Carly tells Jax that he’s still grieving, and it’s messing with his head. He says he shouldn’t have burdened Lady Jane, and she took a turn for the worse after he told her. Then she was gone. He says he had no intention of saying anything, but realized he was hurting people he cared about, and had to tell the truth. He needs to make things right with Nelle as well. Carly tells him that Nelle is vindictive, and hopes she doesn’t turn it around. He says he’ll face the consequences.

Dante wants to ask Ava a few questions.

Tracy thinks the monks stole the painting. She says they’re going to the consulate. The head monk says that won’t be necessary. Some of his brethren forgot the 7th commandment. The monk who had been staring at the painting, who doesn’t speak English, blurts out something about there being dire consequences – in English. The head monk says they’ve already settled the matter, and it’s been an honor to meet J.L.’s daughter. He meant a lot to them.

Elizabeth has to relieve the babysitter. Franco says he’ll spring for overtime, but Elizabeth says she’s a teenager with a test tomorrow. She tells him that just because he can’t come over to her place, doesn’t mean she can’t come over to his place. She’s thinking they should work on another painting. Which in this case is a euphemism for getting busy.

Ava says she already gave a statement, but Dante says something doesn’t add up. Why was she meeting Lucy? Ava says they were talking business about the Nurses Ball. He thinks it’s a big coincidence that they found this the same night, and shows her the evidence bag.

Carly says that Jax didn’t set out to hurt anyone. Jax says people do terrible things for good reasons, but it doesn’t excuse their actions. She says he’s human, and Josslyn is alive because of him. His mother couldn’t hate him for that, and neither does she. They kiss.

Sonny is about to call Carly when the house phone rings. He tells Max that it’s fine. Nelle comes to the door. Sonny says he doesn’t want to see her, and doesn’t want her near his family. She says there’s something he needs to hear that will change everything. No, it won’t. Because what Carly is angry about is Sonny keeping it from her for so long, not whether or not he slept with Nelle.

Laura calls for a taxi. Tracy wants to get the painting back to US soil asap. Laura can’t get the crying out of her head, and how the monk said there would be dire consequences. Tracy says let’s just get out of here. A young girl watches from around the corner in the hallway.

Jake knocks on Franco’s door.

Ava says she doesn’t know what it is or why it was found. Dante says it’s Morgan’s lithium, and she says she doesn’t know. He says they were lovers, and asks if she can’t offer some insight. She says they hadn’t been together for almost a year. She says he was at The Floating Rib the night of his death, and maybe he left them there. She has no other explanation. She knows how painful it is, but can’t give any answers. She tells him to check with Mac and Felicia, or their cleaning service.

Nelle reminds Sonny of the night they spent together. He says it was the worst mistake of his life, but he doesn’t remember any details. She says there’s a reason for that.

Jax says sorry. Carly says don’t be. They kiss some more.

On Monday, Jake asks why Franco doesn’t want to be friends any more, Carly doesn’t want to stop, and Sonny tells Nelle she came to the wrong place for absolution.

Quotes of the Week

While his wasn’t my type of humor, yet one more legend has been lost. I say, ye, Don Rickles, comic pioneer.

You can’t study comedy; it’s within you. It’s a personality. My humor is an attitude.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can’t please everyone. But when you’re different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.

I have no idea what I’m going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

🎰 And also, a nod to Jasper Jax, who dropped this pearl of wisdom today:

People do terrible things for good reasons, but it doesn’t excuse their actions.

🌜 Something to soothe your soul as you wait for summer…

PeterMax-outside-lands-2013-official-poster

Outside Lands, 2013, official poster, Peter Max

 

Apr7

April 6, 2017 – Nelle and Anna Know It All, Potomac Movers and Shakers & a Coupla Macaroons

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kiki wonders why Ava isn’t ready for their mani/pedi. Ava explains she’s still shaken up from the robbery. Kiki asks some questions, and Ava fills her in. Ava says they took something she doesn’t want anyone else to have.

Dante looks at the evidence bag with the pills in it.

Anna tells Valentin that they’re tryst meant something to her, like it did to him. She apologizes and takes his hand. She says she’s given him a lot to digest, so she’ll go. He asks her to wait.

Lulu is getting ready for her visit with Charlotte. She’s on the phone with the case worker, who obviously has some bad news, and gets cut off. Griff comes by, and she says Valentin is sabotaging her visit with her daughter.

Carly tells Bobbie she’s had so much bad news, she needs to process it. Bobbie asks if she wants company, and Carly says she does. She tells Bobbie that Jax is in town, and that Lady Jane passed away. Even worse, he’s the one who paid for the kidney. Geez, she barely took a breath in between those news gems.

Nelle meets with Jax at Perks. He says she’s wrong about Carly. He says she never contacted Nelle’s father about finding a kidney for Josslyn. He did.

Valentin says that Anna can’t just walk out like there’s nothing more to say. Anna says he must be furious, but at least he knows she wasn’t just stringing him along. She says he believes it was just manipulation on her part, but she knows it wasn’t, and doesn’t know how to convince him. She wonders what he wants from her, but he doesn’t know.

Lulu tells Griff the visit was postponed until tomorrow. He asks why, and she says the case worker practically hung up on her. She’s convinced Valentin is behind it. Griff says Valentin loves to play games, and Lulu thanks him for his support. Griff tells her that Valentin is dangerous (like she didn’t know), and he doesn’t believe Claudette committed suicide. Lulu says no man who could shoot Nicholas point blank should be a father. She runs off, and Griff tells her not to do anything stupid, which is like telling fire not to burn.

Michael meets Sonny, and tells him about Lady Jane. Sonny asks if Josslyn knows what happened with Nelle, and Michael says yes. Sonny wants to see her, but Michael doesn’t think it’s a good idea, since she’s hoping he and Carly get a divorce. Sonny says she might get her wish.

Bobbie can’t believe Jax never told Carly about the kidney. Carly says she’s disappointed, but doesn’t want to be a hypocrite – she would have done anything to save Josslyn, and a part of her feels grateful.

Jax tells Nelle that he thought because Frank had connections, he could help, but never knew he was going to use his own daughter. Nelle is like, did you think he was going to ask random strangers? Jax says he was desperate, and didn’t ask too many questions. He tells Nelle how sorry he is. He hopes she realizes she should be angry with him and not Carly. She tells him to stop lying for Carly.

Kiki asks Ava what was so important, and Ava says they took her charm bracelet. Kiki tells her that she’ll get it back. Ava says she just doesn’t like being without it, and sometimes evidence gets lost. She says she won’t relax until she gets it back, and Kiki says she’ll wait it out with her and go along to the station.

Dante meets with one of the perps who robbed The Floating Rib and his lawyer. He shows him the pills, and asks where the guy got them from.

Sonny tells Michael about he and Carly being asked to be Scout’s godparents. He says they agreed, but Carly made it clear that she wants to end the marriage. Michael says he wants to check in on her. Sonny knows how he must feel. Michael doesn’t like it, but he loves them, and will support them no matter what.

Michael leaves, and Griff sees Sonny. He says Sonny looks like he needs someone to talk to. Sonny tells him that it didn’t go well with Carly. He doesn’t want to get into it, and Griff says he’ll keep Sonny in his prayers. Sonny says he’s not sure prayer is going to be enough.

Bobbie asks Carly if it changes how she feels about Nelle. Carly says Frank selling a piece of his daughter is a terrible thing, but it doesn’t give her pass. Carly says she played the perfect part, slept with Sonny, and waited for the perfect moment to blow up everyone’s lives. She’ll never forgive her for that.

Nelle thinks Jax is lying. He says when he first met her, he thought maybe she knew his part in finding the kidney, and then realized she didn’t. He asks if she didn’t notice how his attitude changed toward her, when Carly was welcoming from the start because she didn’t know anything. Nelle says her father told her what happened, but Jax says that he can prove that Frank was lying.

Anna says perhaps she and Valentin could give each other another chance, so they don’t have to be enemies moving forward. Someone bangs on the door. Lulu bursts in, saying that Valentin’s little game isn’t working. She asks if Anna is there to arrest him, and says he’s not screwing up her relationship with her daughter.

Ava asks what Kiki’s news is, and Kiki tells her about registering for nurse’s aide classes. Ava says it’s a step up from the MetroCort. Kiki says she likes feeling like she’s helping people, and Ava says they’re lucky to have her. Kiki tells Ava that she’s learning a lot in the psyche ward, and is hoping to work there permanently. Ava says she doesn’t remember Kiki being interested in that, and Kiki says she is now. She wants to understand what happened to Morgan.

The perp wonders why Dante is asking about the pills, and says they’re not his drugs. Dante says they were his brother’s, and there’s no reason the pills should be there. He wants to know how they ended up with the other stuff. Dante tells him that this is his chance to make a difference, and maybe a difference with the judge. He asks who the pills came from. Like the perp took attendance. What is amusing though, is that Ava was the only one asked for her name.

Before Griff moves on, Sonny suggests that he say twenty prayers. Sonny is about to leave, when Bobbie comes in. He says he knows what she’s thinking, but she says she doesn’t. She knows he loves his kids and Carly, but every time, Carly ends up being the one who gets hurt.

Michael visits Carly. She thanks him for being there for Josslyn. Michael tells her about running into Sonny. He asks if they’re getting a divorce. Carly says she can’t think about it right now. She and Jax have been discussing something important about Nelle.

Jax shows Nelle a copy of the cashed check. He says Frank insisted on a personal check; he probably wanted to use it for blackmail later. He explains that Carly thought the kidney came from Jake. Nelle insists that her father never saw any check. Jax shows her the copy on his phone. I have to agree with Nelle here that this would be an easy thing to fake. I don’t see how showing her a picture of a signature would be enough to convince her of anything.

Sonny tells Bobbie that in his defense, he was grieving, but he never wanted any of this to happen. Bobbie says she understands more than he realizes, and grief takes away the ability to reason. What she doesn’t understand is why he didn’t warn Carly. He says he wishes he had, and she says her too.

Ava suggests pediatrics, but Kiki wants to understand how Morgan spun out of control so badly. It’s a place to start, and she wants to help. It’s also about doing something worthwhile. Ava wants to see her continue to move forward, but Kiki says everything she learns makes it more puzzling. She spoke to a doctor who was struck by how fast it happened. Morgan’s moods went out of control within weeks. She wonders how his medication quit so completely and quickly. Ava tells her she’s not going to get an answer.

The perp says he doesn’t talk to cops. Dante asks if he’s going to throw away his chance. The lawyer says only the DA can make that call. The perp says he’s no snitch and he’s not helping. Dante tells him good luck with prison. He gives the pills to an officer to get prints and DNA.

Sonny gets a text and jets out of Kelly’s.

Lulu insists that Valentin is playing games with her visitation. Anna says he knows where to find her, and gets the hell out of there. Valentin doesn’t know what Lulu is talking about. Lulu says the visit was canceled, and he says this is the first he’s hearing about it. He looks at his phone, and says Mrs. Watkins had a family emergency. Lulu says he could have created the emergency. He tells her that she’s so self-centered and entitled, he doesn’t need to cause a problem for her. Lulu says maybe he did it, maybe not, but he kept Charlotte from her for years and no child is safe with him. She will get custody. He tells her to that it’s the same, tired argument, and asks what if they talk about something different, like Nelle? Lulu is the worst. She’s actually the one I think shouldn’t be around children. I’m also finding it hard to believe that visitation would be canceled because the case worker had an emergency, but it is Port Charles.

Nelle tells Jax that after the surgery when she was sick, Frank said he was waiting for the money and everything would be okay. She would be able to go to the school she wanted to. Then he disappeared for a few weeks, telling her that he had a great opportunity he had to take. When he came back, he said Carly never paid him, and it was an illegal transaction, so there was nothing he could do about it. She wanted to call Carly herself, so she found his address book. That’s when she saw it. She suddenly sits down, saying omg.

Valentin says he understands that Lulu introduced herself to Nelle, and that Nelle knows now that Lulu is trying to take Charlotte away from him. Lulu says the truth will come out to the court. Except for Nina, everyone in town hates him. Lulu says that Anna knows what he’s about, and Valentin says she’d be surprised what Anna knows.

Anna runs into Griff. He asks if everything is okay; he knows that she was searching for answers. She says she found them. It turns out she did do all the things that Valentin accused her of.

Michael says that Nelle’s story was true, except it was Jax, not Carly, but Carly says it’s not that simple. She understands how Frank’s lying could affect have affected Nelle, but she got twisted with revenge. Knowing Carly should have changed her opinion. She ruined all their lives, and Carly can’t get past Nelle using Morgan’s death to manipulate her. Everyone is sounding a bit entitled today.

Nelle says she believes Jax. Jax wants to make it right, but she wants to be left alone. He gives her his card, and tells her to call him. When she’s alone, Nelle says she did what her father wanted. She made Carly suffer. She made Carly hurt and hate her forever, and it was all a lie. Tears roll down her cheeks.

Kiki says she can’t forget about Morgan, and of course has questions. She asks why Ava is so upset, and Ava says she just wants what’s best for her. Kiki says working in the psyche ward is best. Ava gets a text to come to the station and identify her belongings. She tells Kiki to go to the salon without her; it’s going to be a non-event. She apologizes for snapping at Kiki. Kiki says she needs closure about Morgan.

Sonny goes to the station. Dante says it could be nothing, but something strange turned up in the robbery evidence – Morgan’s prescription bottle.

Anna tells Griff that it’s a long story, and she’ll tell him later. He says he’ll see her at her appointment tomorrow. They hug.

Valentin tells Lulu that if she has any future problems, to contact child services. When she gets outside, Lulu says it sounds like Nelle could be on her side. Although I’m not sure how she would get that from the conversation. Oh, maybe it’s that self-centered, entitled thing again.

Valentin recalls what Anna said and how she took his hand. Please, no.

Michael sees Nelle on the bench, crying.

Jax tells Carly that he told Nelle everything. He says she didn’t want to believe it at first, but something clicked. She had memories she didn’t want to share, but it hit her hard when she realized she’d been lied to her entire life. He asks if it changes the way Carly feels about Nelle, and Carly says not at all. He asks if it changes how she feels about him.

Sonny tells Dante that he’ll get the name of whoever had the pills. Dante tells him not to get involved. He’s having them analyzed for DNA and prints. Ava overhears.

Tomorrow, Jax asks Carly’s forgiveness, Michael tells Nelle that she can’t take it back, and Elizabeth asks Franco if he’s lying.

🏛 Trying to catch up with The Real Housewives of Potomac, and caught tonight’s rerun encore performance. The highlights were Ashley winning a dance contest for charity – or as Karen put it, “humping for a cause.” Apparently, Ashley has grown on Karen, which compels me to tell Ashley to run. Robyn and her ex main squeeze ex-husband guy she divorced, but is living with, have downsized, and now (horrors!) own a townhouse. Karen is also in the market for a new home – she wants us to know she’s “resizing, not downsizing” – and I thank God, my lucky stars, and the heavens that I’m not her realtor. The looks on the real estate agents’ faces as they show houses to her are priceless, and alone worth watching for.  (Yes, I know that was a grammatically terrible sentence – and I was an English major.)

🍰 Tonight, the kids on MasterChef Junior were mastering macaroons. Every single cookie looked fabulous, but unfortunately the pink lemonade ones – which sounded heavenly – were overcooked and crumbly. One boy attempted maple bacon macaroons, but I probably don’t have to tell you how that turned out. He definitely gets props for being bold though.

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