What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kristina tells Shiloh that she’s working on the soup kitchen schedule, and asks if there’s anything else he needs from her. He says, her forgiveness.

Sam tells Jason that she wrote and deleted a dumb text, asking how Spinelli’s flight was. She was making up an excuse to contact him, but she didn’t need to. He made it home. Jason says, here he is, and they kiss.

On the phone, Jordan is frustrated. No DNA was found on the weapon, but they have the make and model of the knife. She tells the detective to look into which retailers sell it, and maybe a receipt or video footage will help. The longer it takes, the colder the trail gets. She wants answer not excuses. Curtis says she put the fear of God in someone. She says they caught a break, and she wants to be ready when Lulu wakes up.

Robert wonders why Doc would lie about having met with Cabot, and wants to question him. Anna says, he’s not a criminal, but Robert says, that remains to be seen. Finn says he has to make sure Doc’s recovery isn’t compromised, but Robert says they’re not waterboarding him. Not yet anyway. Anna says they need to know how both she and Doc contracted the same rare virus, and why he would lie about Cabot.

Totally changing the scene from Friday, not-Doc brings a pillow to Lulu’s bedside. Her eyes flutter, but she doesn’t open them.

Anna, Robert, and Finn see that he’s gone. Robert asks where the hell Doc is. Finn says Griff ordered some tests, but he’s nowhere to be found. Anna suggests the solarium or the roof. When she got her sight back, she wanted to savor somewhere with a view. Robert wonders if Doc is off savoring, or covering his tracks. Anna says Robert does have a point. If Doc lied about Cabot, what else did he lie about?

Lulu says, Mom? Not-Doc puts the pillow over her face.

Jordan tells Curtis that they looked over the security footage from the MetroCourt, but the book launch was the same night, so a lot of people came in and out. Curtis says the killer managed to take the body to the terrace, so they were familiar with the layout and security features, and knew how to avoid them. He asks about the tip line, and Jordan says they’ve gotten nothing credible. Mostly conspiracy theories. One thinks it must be a cop, but she already had the FBI vet her staff. They need a break in the case. Curtis wonders if she’s maybe too close. Jordan doesn’t deny it affected her in a personal way, and thinks the killer wants it that way; Kiki’s body was planted in their honeymoon suite. Maybe he’s trying to prove he’s smarter than they are, with the horrible killings and elaborate staging. She says, Lulu is a part of the media, and Curtis says, so was Peyton. Maybe she’s on to something. Peter discouraged Lulu’s story angle. Curtis wonders if Lulu was on to something too. Jordan says there’s something they’re not seeing. If Lulu is seeing it, it’s a game changer.

Kristina asks why Shiloh needs her forgiveness. He says when she was unburdening herself at the seminar, she seemed upset having to relive the past. She says, reliving the past is necessary to change the narrative. If Sam hadn’t jumped in, she might have unburdened herself even more. He says she still seems bothered, and she says she’s trying work through it. His book is helping; she feels better. He says Sam seemed adamant that they’d pushed too far, but Kristina says Sam doesn’t get what they’re doing. If she participated, she might get over her own obstacles. Sam doesn’t see that she’s stuck in between, and how get out from under. Shiloh understands why she’s upset with Sam; however, she should try to have compassion and empathy for her.

Sam tells Jason, it’s not normal. She’s super happy now, but when he was gone, she was pacing and making herself crazy, worrying if he was going to be taken away again. She has to accept and be grateful for what they have together. There’s nothing she can do to control it, so she should just enjoy it. He doesn’t want her to be afraid, but that’s her point. She’s not.

Sam says she’s been working hard to try and rebuild her trust and instincts, and know she can love without losing herself. He doesn’t have to worry about her worrying. She promises not fall apart every time he leaves. Jason says she seems confident. He tells her, last night was great, and this morning was even better. He takes her hands, and says when he woke up. and saw her smiling at him, he thought about how beautiful she is. Not just her face. All the ways he’s seen her; happy, sad, angry, determined, laughing out loud, playing dominoes, dancing in the rain – all these images, back to the first time he saw her in the interrogation room. She laughs. He says he looks at her, and thinks how incredibly lucky he is to love her, and have her love him. He’s never taking it for granted. They kiss.

Back on the phone, Jordan tells a detective, good work, and to check the records. Curtis says it sounds like she got a break, and she tells him, only one retailer sells the knife. Maybe the killer’s image is on the security camera recording. Curtis hopes they didn’t buy the knife online; it’s harder to trace. She says she has a detective on it. Her phone rings. Lulu is awake.

Lulu struggles, and not-Doc tells her, don’t fight it. She’s almost there. Her hands drop. Laura comes in with Dr. Lacey, startled to find not-Doc there. Having ditched the pillow, he says he came to check on Lulu. She needed help with her airway. Ha-ha! Not-Doc is a real comedian sometimes. Laura heard he couldn’t see, and he says he contracted a virus, but he’s fine now. He didn’t realize Lulu hadn’t regained consciousness. Laura says she’s waking up. Dr. Lacey kicks not-Doc out, and asks if Lulu can hear him. Laura says, it’s mom. She needs to wake up. Rocco and Charlotte want see her. Lulu starts to breathe heavier, and says, mom? Is that you? Laura says she’s there and Lulu is safe.

Shiloh tells Kristina that they all have pain and fear. She’s a lot like Sam and her mom. Kristina asks if he’s met her mom, and what did she say to him? She apologizes before he even answers, and he says, it was an enlightening experience. She says, Sam was bad enough, but he understands. Their paths crossed at the same time Sam’s past became an issue. Kristina says she told Sam it was a coincidence. There’s no way Shiloh would target Sam. He loves her faith and hope in him, and tells her to remember that when the truth comes out. She asks what he means, and he says, the mystery has been solved.

Since the kids are sleeping, Jason and Sam start to go back upstairs, but there’s a knock at the door. Sam wants to ignore it, but moves to the door. Jason tells her to get rid of whoever it is. It’s Spinelli, who asks if he’s perchance interrupting. Sam says, no, and they hug. She thanks him for the save, and he says she’s most welcome. He trusts the information was of use, and Jason says Sam saved him from drowning. Spinelli says, indeed; that’s most felicitous, and an interesting reversal of roles. Sam says she owed him one. Spinelli says it seems he picked a good time to visit. His friends radiate contentment. He tells them that there was a significant delay; the plane was stuck on the tarmac. He made use of the time researching Shiloh and Dawn of Day. He was able to confirm the emails are coming from inside the Dawn of Day house. Sam says she told Jason that Shiloh was lying all along. Sam’s phone rings. Kristina asks if she’s free. She needs Sam at Dawn of Day.

Laura thanks God that Lulu is awake. Still lurking around, not-Doc says she has incredible resilience. He needs to talk to Laura, but she has phone calls to make. He says she might want him to talk to Lulu, but she says he flatly turned her down when she asked him to talk to Aiden. He says recent events changed his perspective, and he wants to do what he can to help. Lulu is going to need counseling. Laura says she’ll let Lulu know about his offer. Right now, it’s important that she ID the killer. Not-Doc says they shouldn’t push her; she’s fragile right now. Laura says she’ll be there. Jordan is on her way to question Lulu.

Jason offers to come with Sam, but she thinks Shiloh will be less defensive without him there. Jason explains to Spinelli that they think Shiloh is targeting Kristina as a means to get to Sam. Kristina is in deep, and refuses to separate from Shiloh and the group. Spinelli asks if Kristina was aware that Sam stole Shiloh’s inheritance. Sam says, Kristina knows, and it makes Shiloh look better. He claims losing the money freed him up, and put him on the path to enlightenment. Spinelli says his research can attest that being spiritually aware was the last thing on Shiloh’s mind when he was David Henry. He was popular in school, and departed for Europe afterward, on an open-ended sojourn. When he had his reversal of fortune, he signed up with a global security firm, and fell off the grid, resurfacing as Shiloh. Spinelli wonders, if Shiloh is so enlightened, why is he dredging up Sam’s past?

Shiloh appreciates Sam’s presence. He has information that will bring peace, especially to her and Jason. He had a conversation with their mother, who shared her concerns. He says, Sam’s past became an issue when Kristina joined the group. The genesis of the emails Sam has been receiving had nothing to do with him, but he feels responsible. Daisy, who has been sitting on the couch, says, that’s not true. He’s not responsible. She was the one who sent the emails.

Robert tells Anna, Cabot worked for the DVX, and Doc lied about having met him. It’s not hard figure out that Doc worked for the DVX. Anna isn’t so sure it went that far. Finn says Doc is respected in his field, and doesn’t see him as a deep cover spy. Robert says he may have had a secret life they know noting about. Not-Doc returns to his room, and tells them he’s tired; please leave. Anna says they need him to clarify something. She’d asked if he knew Cabot, and the WSB has proof that he met with Cabot. They’re wondering why he’d lie about that.

Laura tells Lulu that she’s there. Lulu asks if Rocco and Charlotte are okay, and Laura says, they’re fine. Rocco is at the Quartermaine’s, and Charlotte is with Valentin and Nina. Charlotte insisted on coming last night, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Lulu says Charlotte is her good luck charm, and Laura tells her that’s what Charlotte said. She still hasn’t gotten in touch with Dante, but Lulu says, don’t. She might blow his cover. Laura asks her to stay awake for a little bit. Does she know what happened to her? Lulu says she was attacked, and Laura says, she survived. Everything will be all right. She’s strong and brave, and made it. Lulu says, they caught him, didn’t they?

Daisy tells Sam she was digging around in Sam’s past, and sent the emails from Linda Black. She’s sorry.  She read about Shiloh’s father being swindled in the book, and how it was a pivotal change for him. Kristina had also talked about how Sam once conned certain men. Kristina asks how Daisy could do that; she trusted Daisy. Daisy says she wanted Sam to heal, and Kristina asks, how? By digging up dirt? Daisy says she did research, and made an educated guess. When Sam replied, she knew she was right. Kristina tells Sam that she wasn’t gossiping. They’d been comparing their lives, and talking about how easy it was to get off track. Kristina says, unlike Sam, she didn’t have to take care of a brother. Sam doesn’t blame her. Kristina says Daisy harassed her sister, but Daisy says it was for the right reasons.

Spinelli tells Jason, when he was researching, he found that much of Sam’s history can be accessed – if you know where to look. Whoever sent the emails did a good job. Now that he has a decent signal, he’s going to trace them. Jason asks if he needs coffee, and Spinelli says, coffee? No. He needs answers. There seems to have been a thaw in Jason and Sam’s relationship. Who can he tell? He’s seeing Maxie and James later, as well as Lulu. Jason says he should have told him. Lulu was nearly stabbed to death.

Jordan comes into Lulu’s room. She’s glad to see Lulu awake. She asks if Lulu thinks she can answer some questions. Laura doesn’t know if she’s up for it, but Jordan says, every minute is crucial. Lulu asks if they’ve caught the killer, and she says, not yet. They did get valuable evidence, but have no ID. She’s hoping Lulu can help. Laura says she doesn’t have to, but Lulu says she can do this.

Anna tells not-Doc they know he and Cabot have met; they have proof. Not-Doc says it could be a different Kevin Collins, but Finn asks why he’s being secretive. His name and photo are in the file. Anna says Cabot did research for the DVX, and asks not-Doc to clarify what his association is. Not-Doc insists he doesn’t know him. He’s had dealings with a lot of people, and the name means nothing. He tells Finn, as his doctor, he has to ask them to leave.

Laura asks if Lulu is sure she’s up to it. Lulu wants to help, but everything is fuzzy, like she can’t wake up. Jordan tells her, no pressure, and sits on the bed. Jordan says Lulu was attacked in her office. Her mother confirmed seeing her at 7:15. She was working on a story, and planned to attend the book launch. At approximately 9:30, she arrived at the restaurant, and had been stabbed. Can she say what happened? Lulu says she was working on a story about the serial killer.

Not-Doc says he needs to rest from having the virus. Anna tells him it’s urgent that they get answers from him. They need his cooperation. Not-Doc loses it, and starts yelling that he doesn’t know. Leave. Please. Finn tells them, sorry, but as his doctor, he’s required to shut this down now. Anna and Robert leave.

Jordan says Lulu made come calls. Does she remember? Lulu says she called Dante. He told her that he loved her, and was going into deep cover, so he’d be out of touch. She left some messages for other people, and called Peter. She was annoyed that he wasn’t publishing her story. He didn’t like the direction the piece was taking. Lulu makes an effort to remember, and Laura asks if she wants a break, but she says, no. Jordan says they believe the attacker entered after Lulu made her phone calls. Does she remember who it was? She doesn’t know. All she remembers is getting in the elevator, and feeling sick; nauseous, and like she was going to faint. She remembers pushing the button; she had to get to her mom. Laura says she did. She made it to the restaurant, and saved her own life. Jordan asks her to think back. Does she remember leaving the office? Did she see anyone? Lulu doesn’t know. She starts to cry, saying she doesn’t remember. She’s sorry. Laura says, it’s all right. There’s nothing to be sorry about. The most important thing is, she’s all right. Jordan says, she survived. Lulu says, Kiki didn’t. Neither did the other two. She has to remember for their sake. Laura tells her not to pressure herself, but she says it’s coming back to her.

Spinelli tells Jason that he’s going to the hospital, and thanks him. Better Jason tell him than the shock of discovering it on his own. He says he’ll return to solve the mystery, but right now he’s going to focus on Lulu.

Sam says it doesn’t make sense. Daisy says she was trying to help. She thought Sam would be more receptive to Dawn of Day. Sam asks how she found out about the other guys, especially the one in Galina. Daisy says it’s not as hard as Sam thinks. She was a computer science major, and designed a search program. She found out about Leland, ordered a Galina newspaper, and cut out the obituary. Shiloh asks Daisy to tell Sam about the emails. Daisy says the name came up as one of the aliases Sam used, and she thought it would be more intriguing if she signed the email that way. Kristina says, try creepy. Daisy says she didn’t mean to harass Sam. Shiloh didn’t know, and would never do something like that. Kristina says how dare she target Sam? And her scheme backfired. There’s no way Sam would trust any of them now. Kristina stalks off. Shiloh says he doesn’t like this, but Daisy’s not malicious. She did something wrong for what she thought were the right reasons. Sam says, funny how that never works out. Shiloh asks how he can make it up. Sam doesn’t know, and asks what he has in mind. He gives her his number, and says if she needs anything, for any reason, call him. Sam takes the number, and leaves.

In the hallway, Finn tells Robert and Anna, sorry. He had no choice. He let it go for as long as he could, but there are liabilities. Once the patient throws a tantrum, it’s a breach of ethics. He knows there are inconsistencies in what Doc is saying. Robert says he found something in the notations. Doc met with someone else – Anna Devane. My guess is, he met with Alex.

Lulu says she was annoyed with Peter. She was frustrated that he wasn’t running the story, but she went back to work anyway. She was excited about a discrepancy. Jordan asks what it was, and Lulu says, it’s right there, on the tip of her tongue. Jordan tells her, try a different angle. Lulu says she was working on her piece, and someone came to the door. She remembers someone coming in. Jordan asks, who was it? Not-Doc lurks in the doorway. He’s doing a lot of that today.

Kristina give the schedule to Shiloh. He feels terrible, but she says, Daisy should feel terrible. She’s the one who decided to invade Sam’s privacy. He says Kristina sees it as a betrayal, and she asks, how can she not? He says he hoped Dawn of Day was built on sturdier ground, and doesn’t shift when a mistake is made. There’s also the power of forgiveness. Kristina says she’s not there yet, and he asks, where is she? He hopes this doesn’t change the way she feels about him or the organization. He asks what she’s thinking. I don’t know, but she sure looks pissed.

Jason asks Sam how it went, and tells her that Spinelli went to visit Lulu. He has to deal with a coffee shipment, and asks if he wants to do something tonight. She says she can’t do this. They have to break up.

Tomorrow, Stella tells Curtis to refrain from making assumptions about her life, Sam wants to beat Shiloh at his own game, and Lulu struggles to remember.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa asks how it’s going at TomTom. Nick Alain and his wife, Elena (Elena Alain?) are putting the finishing touches on the décor. There’s no water, electricity, gas, or sound system. In her interview, Lisa says they’re not officially opening for a few weeks, but committed to the Daily Mail TV party. Nick agrees that it’s not a good day to be showing the Toms around. There’s no time to explain things, and they’ll want details. Lisa says tomorrow, and Nick sighs.

Schwartz tells Katie that they’ll have to use the kitchen at PUMP. Katie says at least they have another one, and Schwartz says they have the hottest block. Ken calls, and Schwartz says he’s super excited. Tom joins Schwartz, and Lisa tells them not to come today; it’s too crazy. Not to panic, but there’s no water, electric, or gas. She’ll see them tomorrow. In his interview, Tom says it’s like your parents saying you’re going to Disney, and then telling you, here’s a Mickey Mouse PEZ dispenser instead – but it’s empty. Tom has his outfit ready. Scheana has her housewarming today. She moved to Marina Del Rey, and Tom says, might as well move to Jersey. He’s obviously never been to Jersey.

Jax tells Brittany they might as well be going to Vegas. I know he’s been to Vegas, so he’s possibly out of his mind. They pick up Lala, and Brittany asks how Girls’ Night was. Lala says, great, but Billie claimed she wasn’t included because she’s trans. In Lala’s interview, she says she’s blocked Billie as far as her vision and ears go. She asks who’s going to be at Scheana’s. Brittany says, James and Raquel, and Jax says, ugh. She says, Tom and Katie won’t be there, and Lala says, they’re so lucky.

The other girls are having lunch. Katie toasts to Girls’ Night. Kristen asks about the Billie conversation. Katie says it’s not about her being trans, but about her being an a-hole. In her interview, Stassi explains how to get to Marina Del Rey, ending with going past flight attendants, divorcees, and old men with metal detectors. And this is where Scheana has chosen to live. Katie says, it’s geographically undesirable. I understand this, having lived in Queens.

Billie arrives at Scheana’s, along with James, Raquel, and some other dude. In his interview, James says Scheana finds it easy to cut him off. She’s flippy-floppy, wishy-washy, but the good thing about friends like that is, they always flip back to you. She gives them a tour of her new place. Another Queens comparison. Her place is huge with a great view, and I’m guessing it’s a lot cheaper for the space there, like Queens vs Manhattan. She says, the West Side is the best side. It’s worth the drive and traffic.

Jax doesn’t think so. He wants to bang his head on the steering wheel.

Schwartz asks if they’re there yet. Ariana says they’ve only been in the car 28 minutes. Schwartz feels like it’s been an hour. Tom explains to Ariana why they’re not checking out TomTom today. In his interview, he says he’s been known to get emotional in the past. We flash back to the various times he’s bawled his eyes out. Schwartz tells Tom, if he doesn’t cry, he’ll write Tom a check for five hundred dollars. Ariana says she’ll match it.

Scheana thanks everyone for coming to the West Side. In his interview, Tom says, it’s like over the hill and back again Hobbit style; a trek. For his birthday Tom wants a roller disco sexy 70s party. He and Jax are co-hosting, as Jax’s birthday is coming up too. Jax asks if there’s anyone Tom doesn’t want there. James arrives, thanking them for not disincluding him, which I don’t think is a word. In Jax’s interview, he says he’s having a joint roller skating party with Tom, and since Tom is friends with James, he’ll have to deal with the Elf on the Shelf for the night. Now that he mentions it, James does look like the Elf on the Shelf.

James tells Lala that he had a good studio session with Tom. Lala says it would have conflicted with what she’d said to him if she had gone. He wants things to be good. In her interview, Lala says she and James will never be back to what they were, but if he makes serious changes, she thinks they can be friendly. He asks how he can apologize to Randall. She says he has to do it. Otherwise, it will be fake.

Brittany tells Scheana and Ariana that she takes tiny things, thinks about them, and they turn into big things. Ariana says she can’t have stuff lingering. She can’t hold it in and feel bad. Scheana wonders if maybe there’s more to it, since Brittany got so upset the other night. Brittany tells them that she and Jax are going to therapy to prepare for marriage. Ariana knows they’re working on their relationship. In her interview, Brittany says, at the end of the day, it’s her decision. We flash back to Jax proposing. She knows he wouldn’t cheat on her again, or she wouldn’t have said yes. Wow. She knows a lot. Ariana tells Scheana that she should make friends with the boat owners. Scheana tells them she did it with Adam. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to rush into a relationship. She did that twice, and doesn’t want to do it again.

James tells Lala that he’s glad she came, not like the other girls. He thinks it’s because of him, but she says there are other reasons. Billie threw it out there that they were transphobic because she wasn’t tagged in a post. James thinks Lala is putting words in her mouth. Lala says Billie knows she effed up. Billie joins them, and James can’t jet fast enough. He’s way too sober to be in the middle of this. Billie tells Lala that she was upset. She wasn’t included in girls’ things her whole life. Lala thinks not to be included on a flyer is trivial. She put it out there that the girls are transphobic. Billie says (a little too quickly) she never said that word. Lala says she didn’t squash it on the first comment either. I totally get this. It falls under semantics. You can convey a meaning by not using the exact words or by what you don’t say. When someone says they didn’t say the exact words, it’s just an excuse to get out of what they did do. Lala says she calls a spade a spade. Billie says the first comment asked why she wasn’t invited, and if it was because she’s not a real girl, so coming from a trans experience… Realizing Billie isn’t going to own up to anything, Lala gets up, and says, dismissed. Billie follows her, shouting that Lala isn’t better than her. She thinks she’s better than everyone because she has a rich boyfriend. Lala calls her pathetic. She doesn’t care what Billie says about her, but dragging Lala’s man into it makes her a low down ho. She wasn’t excluded on purpose, and she put it on social media. They’re so loud, Tom hears them in the other room, and tells Schwartz he needs a chill day. Lala says Billie is being a psychopath. In Lala’s interview, she says she can’t pretend to know Billie’s struggles, but once she brings Lala’s man into it, she’s buried. Lala calls Billie a catty bitch, and Billie says Lala is always talking about other people. Lala says it’s not about other people; it’s about Billie. Stop flipping the script. She says Billie is low down and dirty. Ariana wants a Jell-O shot. Can’t say that I blame her. In her interview, Ariana says Billie wasn’t excluded on purpose, but you can’t say you’re an ally, and then speak over her every time she tries to explain how she feels. Too bad she didn’t actually hear the conversation. Billie whines to Ariana that Lala keeps slamming her for her own feelings, which sounds like she didn’t hear the conversation either. In Billie’s interview, she says she did everything to make sure her trailer park girl didn’t come out, and slap the sh*t out of Lala. To her credit, Ariana says Billie bringing it to social media made it bigger than it was. Billie says it’s her one regret. Ariana tells her, next time, write a draft and delete it.

Photographer Courtney meets with Scheana to take headshots. We flash back to Scheana meeting with her manager. In her interview, she says she’s done comedic stuff, which is where she feels comfortable. She wants to challenge herself. Like something where she’s chased and murdered. I can tells she’s really into her craft. (Yes. That was sarcasm.) Courtney asks what happened the other night, and Scheana says they did it again and again. Courtney wonders, what happens now? but Scheana says, nothing. She’s been single for a year, and wants to stay single. In her interview, Scheana says she has a casual friend thing with Adam. One of the producers asks Scheana if she had secret feelings about Adam when she was with Rob, but she doesn’t want to look like the girl who was thinking about Rob when she was with Shay, and thinking about Adam when she was with Rob. Adam comes into the shoot. Courtney has Scheana sit in front of a fan. She tells Adam about doing the fake orgasm with the acting coach, saying it’s what she used to do. He asks if she still does it, but she says he hit the right spot. In Scheana’s interview, she says she wants to stay single. It’s single Scheana summer. Courtney takes pictures. Scheana asks Adam if he’ll be lost without her tonight, but he thinks they can use a night apart. Yeah. I’d be rethinking this too, dude.

Schwartz and Tom, who’s carrying a giant vase, head to TomTom. Schwartz wonders if they should call to see if Lisa is ready. In his interview, Schwartz says he always wanted to own a bar, and now he’s doing it with Ken and Lisa. Lisa comes out, and wants them to put on blindfolds, but they swear not to open their eyes. We flash back to the various stage of TomTom’s development. When they get inside, they open their eyes. It’s absolutely gorgeous. Schwartz calls it a masterpiece. It’s a little steampunk, a little cozy old West Village; totally fresh. Schwartz says it’s the sexiest place he’s ever seen. He bows down. Tom says, it’s like a dream come true. They laugh hysterically at a photo on the wall of them kissing each other. Tom tells Lisa he’ll never forget this, and thanks her. Schwartz can’t believe everything she’s done for them. Lisa tells them stop; she’s going to cry. Schwartz knows they act like idiots, but they’re grateful. She says they’ll make it a success, and have fun doing it. Maybe one day they’ll have loads of them.

It’s Tom’s 36^th birthday. Tom, Jax, and Peter have a drink. Tom says he invited James to the next round at a cigar bar. Schwartz says they had the big reveal, and Lisa killed it. Tom says they got a little emotional. Peter isn’t surprised. They order BJ shots, which are traditionally drunk with hands behind the back. The Toms manage it, but Schwartz nearly chokes, and chugs the rest.

Ariana and Brittany go to Hooters, so Brittany can pick up some merch. Ariana feels like she’s with Hooters royalty. Brittany thinks her being a Hooters girl was the tipping point in Jax asking her to marry him. She says they want to start a family right away.

Jax tells the guys that they want to start a family. Peter asks when a mini Tom is coming along. Jax says Brittany want three, but he wants two. Take it from me, never say, what’s one more? I did that when I had two dogs.

Brittany hopes she has triplet girls who are hot. It will serve Jax right.

Schwartz says Jax is going to have the hottest daughter, and Tom says God will be laughing. He can’t believe they’re talking about having kids. Tom thinks Ariana has to come to it on her own terms. She has a phobia about being pregnant. Jax says, as a woman, she doesn’t have as much time, and asks if he’s willing to adopt.

Brittany asks Ariana if adoption is an option. Ariana says if she’d already done all the things she wants to do. In her interview, Ariana says, first, she’d want to check off all the places she’s wanted to go. And she’d actually have to want to have a kid. She tells Brittany that Tom told her whatever she wants.

Jax asks Tom if kids are a deal breaker, and Tom says yes. In Tom’s interview, he says he wants one or two. Not to have that option is a deal breaker. Um… I think he better stop telling Ariana what she wants to hear then. He thinks she’s going to change, but that might not happen. Jax thinks they should discuss it sooner than later, but Tom says Ariana isn’t ready. He talks about taking steps first, including getting married. Jax says what if he does all these things, and Ariana says no? In Jax’s interview, he says, at this point, they don’t date for fun anymore. They’re looking for a life partner. From the looks of it, Tom and Ariana want two different things. The waitress tells them that Lisa took care of the bill. Tom wonders how she knew they’d be there, and Peter says he told her. We see a clip of Peter showing Lisa what a BJ shot is, and how to drink it. Jax asks if Tom had birthday sex, but he didn’t. Tom says he should have, and Jax tells him to jot it down for something to do later.

On to the cigar bar, where James joins the party. The guys act grown up, smoking cigars, and drinking out of brandy snifters. They discuss hall passes. Jax says if Brittany cheated, he would use it as leverage. They talk about which girls have taken a dip in the lady pond. Tom says he picked up Ariana and Lala once when they’d been out all day drinking; they were wasted. Lala told him that she was in love with his girl, and wanted her to come into the back seat. He tells them that Ariana did, and Lala starts going to ton. James says there’s no stopping a horny Lala, and tells them about her doing handstands in the bedroom. He says Jax ought to know, and Jax says he’s always starting sh*t. That’s why they don’t want him around. Tom tells them both to take a deep breath.

Lisa sees Billie at SUR, and asks how it’s been since Girls’ Night. Billie says she hasn’t talked to Katie, but she wants to. Lisa says it’s a misunderstanding. All of them are supportive of who she is. In Lisa’s interview, she says it’s important not to have a divide, and discrimination is one of the things they stand against. Billie tells Lisa that she and Lala got into it, so she’s avoiding Lala until she calms down. Lisa says it’s important for them to keep it in check while they’re working.

Lala goes to Jax and Brittany’s place. They’re making another Girls’ Night flyer, and Brittany explains how Lala should pose. In her interview, Lala says she’s bringing the girls out again for a good cause. Jax tells Lala how Tom told the guys about her and Ariana hooking up in the back seat of his car. Lala says they didn’t have sex in the back seat, and Tom is an a-hole. In Lala’s interview, she says, did it happen? Yes. Is she blowing Ariana’s spot up with Jax and Brittany? No. Jax thinks she should tell James not to discuss their sexual history in front of everyone. He repeats what James said about her handstand, and Lala says James is repulsive. Jax says not one thing has changed with him.

Tom dances around at SUR. He wants to thank Lisa, but Billie says she just left. Tom sees Ariana, who glares at him. He asks, what’s wrong? and she asks if he’s effing kidding her. She got a phone call about a story he told trying to sound cool. He says it’s not a big deal, but she says it’s her business. In her interview, Ariana says she’s not embarrassed or ashamed, but Tom betrayed her trust by telling the story to his guy friends. She says her sexuality isn’t meant to be told to the guys to sound cool. Tom says she’s been in a relationship with girl before, but she says it’s not his business to tell without running it past those involved. He says he was annoyed at the time, and she suggests he tell her he’s annoyed then. She tells him, get out of her bar. He wisely does.

Schwartz says the last time he went roller skating was in 1995. everyone is getting ready in their retro outfits. Stassi tells Beau that he’s Palm Springs 70s, while she’s Studio 54. He tells her that he’s good at skating. Stassi tells the Ariana and Lala story to Beau. In Stassi’s interview, she wonders what’s wrong with her that no girls are hitting on her. She tells Beau it’s like a real life porno.

Jax tells Schwartz that Lala lied about not being with Ariana. Schwartz says he’s all about it. Then says he’s just speaking in character.

Ariana tells Tom, obviously, they have things to talk about. When he talks about anyone’s sexuality without her consent, it’s not okay. Tom says part of him was annoyed by the situation; they were wasted. Ariana says she doesn’t talk about that stuff openly to the entire world. Now everybody knows. In her interview, Ariana says she’d rather not label things. If you’re attracted to someone, you’re attracted. They can be male, female, or anywhere in between. Tom doesn’t want to be that guy. The things he knows about her – her quirks, whatever – are valuable to him, and hopefully, they can move on. In Ariana’s interview, she doesn’t think Tom is malicious. Part of her is mad, but the other part thinks, you poor thing. You thought you were being cute. They exchange I love yous.

It’s roller rink time. Jax says it’s his 39^th birthday. The 70s is his favorite era; he just loves the cars and the music. James asks Scheana what’s up with her and Adam. She says it’s amazing, but she doesn’t want anything complicated. In his interview, James says everyone knows it was a year in the making. He just wants a good story. What’s complicated about banging?

Even the bad skaters skate better than I do. Stassi says Beau is annoying with his bragging, and he falls. Lala hugs Ariana. Ariana says obviously when Lala called, she had no idea. Lala says Jax brought it up, and she decided to lie about it until they could talk. They agree there’s no shame, and Ariana says it’s not what happened; it’s that people are talking about their business. Lala says it’s awkward. She also thinks James’s behavior is unacceptable, and she’s not putting up with it.

Katie says, no one ever even talked about skating, and they’re all pros. She and Scheana sit down, and Billie joins them. Scheana makes herself scarce, which is surprisingly intuitive for her. Billie apologizes to Katie. She’s sorry lashed out with a tweet. Katie isn’t really having it, and Billie asks if she wants to keep the negative vibe going. Katie says, there’s another Girls’ Night next Tuesday. Obviously (WOTD), she’s invited. In Katie’s interview, she gets that, after a lifetime of being excluded, Billie is projecting, but she can’t accept that. So she’s keeping her distance. Billie thanks her, and Katie says she’s always been included.

Ariana and Brittany skate over with cakes for Tom and Jax. Lala calls James over, and he says, what now? She says she heard when he was at his boys’ outing, he was talking about her doing handstands. James says they brought it up; it was just an innocent joke. Lala says, at the end of the day, he’s going to respect her relationship. He tells her that he’s trying to be better. He wants to find right words to apologize to Randall, and asks if she’ll deliver a message. She says she’ll give him an email address. She tells Raquel, sorry she called her a twat. Raquel doesn’t say anything, since she’s probably too stunned. Lala says, you’re welcome, and skates off.

Next time, preparation for the Daily Mail TV party, Jax doesn’t know why his mom is angry, Schwartz tells James he did it to himself, James says he hates all of them and wants to know how to hide it.

🍑 Re The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Please, ladies (and I use the term loosely), if you are going to represent our country in a place like Tokyo, learn some freaking manners. This is exactly why I can’t watch this show on a regular basis.

🐕 The Best I Could Do…