What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Drew and Nina are both on the floor, panting, and Nina says she can’t believe they did this again. What’s wrong with them? He says, she might regret it now, but she was enjoying herself and he’s finding a few less things to hate about her than he was an hour ago. She agrees it was mutually consensual, but she certainly regrets he’s such a horrible, vengeful person. He says, if it helps, think about sending him to prison as foreplay, and she says, hilarious. He says he’s done with work for the day and would really like to get out of here. So can she tell him how long she plans to lecture him on what an awful person he is before she straightens up her clothes and gets out of here? They’re both only half-dressed, when there’s a knock at the door. It’s Willow.

Natalia goes to Maxie’s office and says she’s glad to find Maxie here by herself. Maxie asks, why is that? and Natalia says she has some questions about Deception, and Maxie seems like she’s the only person serious about running the company. Maxie says, that’s just not true, but Natalia says, isn’t it though? Miss Coe seems pretty neurotic and there’s that crazy attorney who drafted Ally’s contract… Maxie says, Lucy is Lucy, and where Scott might be excentric, he’s also very competent. Natalia has yet to meet their majority shareholder Tracy Quartermaine, who’s a force of nature. She might call Tracy too serious. Then of course (🍷), there’s Brook Lynn. Natalia says, wow. Another Quartermaine.

In the nook, Sasha sets down a casserole dish and says, the moment of truth. How does it look? Olivia tell Sasha to remember what she said. She’s not going to be a pushover. She’s going to tell Sasha what she really thinks. She could have jazzed up the presentation a little bit, but it smells very good. Leo says, it’s not like anything they’ve ever had before, and Olivia says, maybe Sasha is trying to broaden their horizons. Michael comes in with Wiley and says he just got back from work, and Melanie said she wanted him and Wiley to give their opinion about something. Wiley asks, what’s that? and Sasha says, it’s a tetrazzini. Leo asks if it’s an animal or a vegetable, and Olivia says, it’s another way of cooking chicken, and he likes chicken, right? Leo says, yeah, and Olivia says, then he’s going to love what Sasha made. Sasha says she made two casseroles, so there’s plenty for everyone. Enjoy. She leaves, and everyone eyeballs the dish.

Dex gets a drink at the Brown Dog bar and turns around to see Jason. Jason says, Dex Heller. Jason Morgan. Dex says he knows who Jason is. What does he want? Jason says, it’s about Sonny, and Dex says, tell Sonny that he doesn’t want any trouble, but he did apply at the police academy and if he gets in, he’s going to become a cop. Jason says, Sonny didn’t send him. He’s here because of Josslyn. She’s afraid Sonny might have him killed. He promised her that he’s not going to let that happen. Dex says, no offense, but how is he going to stop it? and Jason says he’ll figure it out. Dex says, thanks, but no thanks. He can protect himself. He sits in a booth, and Jason says he can respect that – he sits opposite Dex – but he’s not doing it for Dex. He’s doing it for Josslyn, and for Sonny. Dex says he thinks Jason has his motives crossed. Sonny’s the one who wants him dead. Jason says, Sonny knows better than to target a cop. He should. He did. Dex says, he should have known better than to go after Cyrus Renault, but Sonny still sent him to kill Cyrus.

Anna sees Valentin at the MetroCourt bar, and he says, out of all the gin joints in all the world. She says, hello, and he says, hello, back. He asks if he can buy her a glass of wine, and she says, sure. That would be lovely. She thanks him and sits next to him. She tastes his wine and asks the bartender for one of those. He asks how she’s been, and she says, busy. He says, good. It agrees with her. She’s engaged. She’s energized. She says, as opposed to what? and wonders if she’s been sloshing around like a slob all these years and didn’t know it. He says, she’s always beautiful. She’s also driven to be first class in everything she does. In fact, if she were ever to give up her dancing shoes, give over her badge, and try her luck as a tree surgeon, he’s sure she’d be brilliant at it. She says, that’s where he’s wrong. She has a black thumb. She can’t tell him how many plants Robin bought her that ended up in the dust bin. He says, then it’s good they don’t have to find out, because being Police Commissioner of Port Charles suits her. She says she happens to think it suits her too.

Nina says, it’s probably the cleaning staff. They’ve probably moved to another office. Drew throws on his shirt and says he has to make sure they don’t come in. He picks up the phone and asks if they can tell housekeeping that he’s working late and doesn’t need his office cleaned tonight… Thank you. He tells Nina, crisis averted, and she says she’s so late. She gets on her phone and tells Madison that she got held up. Please tell Congressman McConkey that she’s sorry and she’ll be right there… No. It’s totally fine that he had to reschedule, but please tell the congressman that she knows how busy he is. She’d be happy to come to him when they reschedule… Thank you. She tells Drew that she almost missed a very important meeting because of… this. So let’s just not let this be a habit. He says he wouldn’t call twice a habit, and she says, it’s more like a mistake followed by a bigger mistake. He says he just overheard Representative McConkey? That seems like an odd fit for Crimson. What was that about? Nina says, he’s a family friend. He was in the same class as her father, and he reached out to her. He has an exclusive announcement he wants to reveal in an interview, and if it isn’t suitable for Crimson, she can always run it in The Invader. He says he wants to go with her when she meets with him. McConkey is a major player in the House, and if he reached out to Aurora… She says, no. He reached out to her. He says he wants to take advantage of this opportunity to make McConkey’s acquaintance, and she asks, who exactly would she say he is? Her chauffeur? He says, just tell him that he’s the guy she sent to prison, and whose clothes she likes to rip off once in a while.

Sasha runs into the stable and tells Cody, taste this. He says, what is it? and she says, just tell her what he thinks. He takes a bite and says, it’s great. She asks if he’s not just saying that, but he says, no, it’s great. What’s going on here? She says she’s auditioning to be the Quartermaines’ cook and she made a tetrazzini, which she is now really regretting. Why did she pick something that Olivia could probably make in her sleep? He says, she might work here too? This is great. Why is he just hearing about this now? She says, it just came up this afternoon. The Quartermaines need a cook and Olivia really liked that shepherd pie she made, so Olivia wants to hire her, but Olivia wanted her to audition first by cooking something for tonight. She would have really liked some time to practice the dish, but the job comes with room and board, so she couldn’t say no. He says, she might live here too? and she says, yeah. She really hopes it works out because she’s supposed to be out of her apartment by the end of the month and the rental market is really insane right now. Besides, she’d really like the job… But she doesn’t want to infringe on his thing. He says, what? and she asks if he’d feel crowded if she moved in here.

Olivia says, everybody stop stalling and eat it, and Michael says he’ll take this one for the team and be the guinea pig. He takes a bite and says, that’s pretty good, and Olivia says, yeah? He says, try it herself, and Leo asks if it’s spaghetti or a casserole. She says, it’s both actually, and Wiley asks, what’s a casserole? Leo says, it’s spelled c-a-s-s-e-r-o-l-e, and Wiley says, what’s in it? Olivia says, enough. They’re going to use the one-bite rule. Everybody take one bite, and if they don’t like it, they can eat a banana and cheese and crackers, but they’re all going to try it. Okay? She’ll join them. She takes a bite, and says, Michael wasn’t kidding. This is good. She asks if the boys like it, and Wiley says he loves it. She says, what about Leo, her little picky eater? Does he like it? Leo says, yeah. This is so much better than her spaghetti. Olivia chokes, and Leo asks if they can have it tomorrow night too.

Maxie tells Natalia, this is the Disrupter Nourishing Moisturizer. It’s part of their new Deceptive skincare line. Natalia tries some on her hand, and says she really likes the scent. The texture is nice too, but does it work? Because she’s not going to have Ally hawking some bogus cream if she’s going to be identified with the product. It’s got to give really good results. Maxie says, of course (🍷) it works. All of their products are rigorously tested. Everything they make does what they say it will. The most important thing Deception has is their customers’ trust, their belief in the brand, and them. Natalia says, Maxie is clearly a very effective marketer, but what she really wants to talk about is, what does Allison’s music manager exactly do here at Deception? Maxie says, Brook has had several important roles at Deception over the last few years, and Natalia says, that just makes her wonder why none of the positions held Brook’s interest for very long. Maxie says, that’s not how she would describe it, and Natalia says she understands Brook had her own, brief singing career, and when she tired of that, she moved on to music management because her mom did it. Maxie says, with all due respect, that’s not very fair to Brook. She didn’t have any choice but to give up singing; it’s not what she wanted. And while yes, she was introduced to the music industry by her mother, and her dad actually, she did it because she really loved it. She believes in and is very serious about the artists she represents. Natalia asks when Brook became really serious about face creams. Because it just seems to her that Allison is putting her career in the hands of this wealthy dilettante who really doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. So she tries a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and basically changes careers like some people change hairstyles.

Jason says he knows Dex worked for Sonny because Michael hired him. Michael wanted him to get evidence against Sonny and he did. Does he still have it? Dex says, no. If he did, he would have given it to Commissioner Devane. Jason says, what was it? and Dex says, ask Michael. Jason says he told Josslyn that he’s not going to let Sonny kill him. That means he’s not going to kill Dex either. He learned a lot from Sonny. He’s smart, he’s cautious, he understood there are certain risks not worth taking. He doesn’t think that way anymore. Dex says, no, he doesn’t, and Jason says he wants to know how Sonny got in over his head, starting with his deal with Pikeman.

Valentin says he likes sitting here with Anna. It’s comfortable. It’s familiar. She says, they’ve known each other a long time, and he says he thought about her a lot when he was out of the country. She asks if he was doing business abroad, and he says, no. He was taking Charlotte back to boarding school in Switzerland, and Anna says, she went back willingly? He says, despite the fact that Victor took her there in the first place, she likes it. She has friends there and equestrian events, and she wanted to get out of Port Charles because it hasn’t been very good for her. He doesn’t need to tell Anna that. She says she’s aware of the things that happened to Charlotte lately, and her part in that. She’ll always regret that. She’s grateful that Charlotte feels well enough to go back to Switzerland if that’s what she wants. He says, him too. He misses her. She says, of course (🍷) he does, and he says he misses her too. He misses having her in his life. He knows that wasn’t plausible when Charlotte was in town, but she’s away at boarding school now. Is it crazy to think maybe they could see each other again?

Nina says he’s not making any promises, but she’ll consider introducing Drew to Senator McConkey under one condition. He says, and that would be? and she says, that they both agree that this – she weaves her fingers together – cannot happen again. He says, that’s fine with him. He’s already forgotten about it. She says she’s already forgotten about it too, when someone tries the door. Drew says he thought he told them to… Willow asks if Drew is in there, and they scramble around. Willow starts to walk away, when Drew opens the door and says he thought he heard somebody knocking. Come on in. Nina is sitting in the chair in front of Drew’s desk and says, sorry. They didn’t hear her. Drew asks if Nina locked the door, and Nina says, if she did, she didn’t mean to. She clears her throat and looks down, and Drew sees that one of his shoes is untied.

Dex says, Sonny must have met with Hume from Pikeman three or four times, and Jason asks if there was anyone else. Dex says, Valentin Cassadine. He’s the one who set up the initial meeting, then when Sonny wanted to back out, Valentin came back. Jason asks why Sonny decided not to work with Pikeman, and Dex says, he thought it was too risky. The first shipment was this plastic explosive. It’s a classified weapon. It’s supposed to be for special forces and it’s not supposed to be for sale. It’s a major NSA violation. If Sonny had been busted, it would have been 20 years minimum. Jason says, and Dex got a recording of it, and Dex says, he gave it to Michael as they’d agreed, but Michael decided not to use it. Jason asks if he kept a copy for himself for insurance, but Dex says, no. He thought it would be safer not to have anything to tie him to the video. Jason says, what about Cassadine? Did he do anything else besides set up the meeting? Dex says, yeah. He met with Hume the same day someone tried to take out Sonny at the MetroCourt. Jason asks how Dex knows that, and Dex says he was out for a run. He saw Hume get out of a car at the Cosmopolitan Hotel with Cassadine. Jason asks if he’s sure this was the same day somebody shot at Sonny, and Dex says, positive. There’s a date stamp on the picture. Jason asks if he’s still got that picture.

Anna says, Valentin caught her off-guard there. She thought they agreed that there was just too much hurt and damage, and that door was permanently closed. He says he’s rattling around in that huge house all by himself, the house he bought for him and Anna to share. And he misses her. Will she let him take her out to dinner? Maybe they can move beyond the past? She says she’s going to have to think about that before she gives him an answer, and he says, she’s willing to think about it. That’s a good start. She says she’s not making any promises though. Her feelings for him didn’t just disappear overnight. It’s really difficult for them to go their separate ways after everything they had. (it was hard for me), but she’s not sure if she’s ready to go down that path again. Maybe there’s just more heartbreak. He says he thinks there’s only one way to find out, when her phone dings. He says, saved by the bell, and she wonders who she has to thank for that. She sees a text from JM: Find me at the Brown Dog bar. Valentin says, go, and she says, duty calls, yeah. He says, make Port Charles safe, and takes her hands. He says he’ll call her, and she leaves.

Maxie says she’s happy to discuss Deception with Natalia. But if Natalia is here to enlist her help to undermine Brook’s role as Blaze’s music manager, she’s barking up the wrong tree. Brook is her best friend. She’s also a consummate professional. She understands all aspects of the music industry – creative, logistical, financial… Sure. Brook’s mom may have shown her the ropes when it comes to the music industry, but Brook’s been doing it on her own ever since. Natalia says, come on. To say that Brook Lynn Quartermaine has been doing it on her own is actually laughable. She believes the term for it is nepo baby. When somebody’s parents or grandparents… In this case, Brook’s whole family paved the way for her. And the phrase, did it on her own, should be saved for people like Allison, who actually didn’t know anybody in the music industry and still made it as a star. Maxie says, this is not a competition. They can both be good at what they do. Natalia says, that remains to be seen.

Willow says she’s sorry. She tried knocking a while ago, but Drew and Nina must not have heard her. She tried to leave a message at the front desk, but they said Drew was still in here working, so she came back. She can see he’s busy, so they can totally talk another time. Nina says, no, stay. They just finished going over the Crimson photo budget. Drew was very generous and gave her everything she wanted, but now they’re finished, so she’ll leave them alone. Drew looks amused, and Nina heads for the door. Willow says, wait, and Nina asks if she needs something, but Willow says, no. It’s just that she was kind of thrown when she saw the two of them in here together. Nina says, they work together. Crimson wouldn’t run very well if they didn’t talk. Willow says, of course (🍷). She guesses she meant thrown in a good way. if Drew can sit across from her and calmly discuss normal things like the photo budget after Nina sent him to prison, he must be a pretty forgiving person. Nina says, yes, he certainly is, and Willow says, and if the two of them can find a way to get along, then it makes her wonder if she hasn’t been too harsh, holding on so tightly to her grievances. So maybe it’s time she let her anger at Nina go too. Nina thanks her for saying that and says she’s going to go. Willow and Nina smile at each other, and Nina leaves. Drew says, that was very unexpected, and Willow says, yeah. It’s definitely not what she thought was going to happen when she came to see him tonight. He asks how it felt to reach out to Nina like that, and she says, surprisingly okay, and she has him to thank for being the bigger person and showing her the way.

Sasha tells Cody that she should just go back to the house. She was trying to give them some space, but maybe Michael and Olivia are just trying to think of the best way to turn her down gently. Cody asks if anyone has ever told her that she’s really cute when she’s nervous, which she doesn’t have to be. Number one, what she made. It’s delicious. Number two, no. He doesn’t feel crowded by her. In fact, it was the other way around. Number three, she’ll never have to worry about a place to stay. If it comes down to it, she can live in his room, and he’ll sleep down here with the beasts where he belongs. She kisses him. I did not see that coming.

Natalia tells Maxie not to misunderstand. She hates being this mistrustful and suspicious. But she had a terrible wake-up call with Allison’s first manager, Linc. He exploited her, he abused her, and Natalia had no idea what was going on. Maxie says, what happened with Linc was horrible and Natalia has every right to be worried about Blaze. But Brook is above board and would never do anything to hurt Natalia’s daughter. Natalia asks if she’s a mom, and Maxie says, yes. She has a son and two daughters. Natalia says, good. Then Maxie understands why she’s asking so many questions. She wants to protect her daughter and she doesn’t want her represented by someone who thinks music is just some fun break from tennis on Tuesdays or something sweet and fun to do while she’s planning her wedding. (Has she been watching Sex in the City or something?) Maxie says, that’s not how Brook thinks at all, and Natalia says, Allison’s association with Brook is the only reason she’s the Face of Deception. Her daughter’s bigger dreams have nothing to do with face creams. Maxie says she’s known Brook for a long time, and she’s always thought, for a Quartermaine, Brook is pretty well-adjusted, realistic, and hard working. Blaze seems to think so too, which makes her wonder. All these big dreams Natalia keeps talking about, are they her daughter’s or hers? Natalia says, it’s so easy to blame the mother, isn’t it? She’ll find that out when her kids get older. Just something to think about. Have a nice day. Natalia leaves, and Maxie shakes her head.

Cody tells Sasha, wow. Is that all it took? Him identifying as a beast? Michael comes in with Wiley and asks, what’s going on here? Cody says, just horsing around.

Anna walks into the bar and goes over to Jason and Dex’s table. She says she didn’t expect to see the two of them here. She guesses it makes sense that they should meet. Dex says, so this is who Jason was texting, and Jason nods. Dex gets up and says he doesn’t know what’s going on here, but it’s definitely above his paygrade. Not that he has a paygrade yet. Anna says, oh. Actually – she digs in her bag and hands him an envelope – he does. He opens it, and she says, welcome to the police academy, new recruit Heller. He thanks her and says he knows she played a big role in this. She says, not as big as he might think. He earned that spot. He says he guesses he’ll be taking Jason up on that offer after all, and Jason says, just promise him that he’ll be good to Josslyn. Dex says, that’s a promise he’ll be glad to keep if he gets the chance. He thanks Anna again, and she tells him, congratulations. He leaves, and Anna sits down. She asks if Jason got some information from Dex, and he says, yeah. Pikeman’s rep is a guy named Hume, right? She says, correct, and he says, Dex witnessed Valentin and Hume meeting on the same day a sniper team tried to take out Sonny at the MetroCourt pool. She says, no. That’s impossible.

Drew says, Willow is giving him too much credit. She’s one of the most forgiving people he’s ever met. She says she always used to think so, but with Nina it’s different. After everything Nina did, she had to distance herself, but maybe it’s time she stopped being so angry at her, for both of their sakes. He says, she has his support whatever she chooses, and she thanks him. He asks what she wanted to talk to him about, and she says she’s been thinking about the proposal from the non-profit and she just wanted to get some more information. Michael suggested she circle back to him, since he was the one who had the preliminary contact with the organization. He says, The New Tomorrow, absolutely. Have a seat. What does she want to know? She asks if he can give her a little more information about what it is they’re looking for, and he says, sure. From their conversation, what he knows is, they want to educate the general public, because most people just really don’t understand how lifesaving stem cell and bone marrow transplants and cord blood can be, especially when it comes to difficult to treat cancers and diseases and therapies. It’s in its infancy of course (🍷), but the success rate is climbing every day. Willow says she gets that. Before she had leukemia, that was foreign to her too. He says, right. That’s what they want to do. They want to get out that information and make it easier to digest for the general public. Like a face and a voice that give it awareness. Young, vibrant, and articulate, and a survivor like her. She’d be perfect. She says, what exactly would she be doing on a daily basis? and he says, she’d be the first person to have the job, so he thinks it’s hers to define, but he assumes she’d definitely be doing some public speaking, probably making some videos, some PSAs. He knows that they’d want her to advocate for fundraising. She says, all of that seems within her capabilities, and he says he also knows they want to keep as much money as possible for the foundation, so the pay would be low, but she and Michael are pretty wealthy, so he’s assuming she wouldn’t want a salary anyway. She says she’s not sure. The last thing she’d ever want to do is take money away from someplace that needs it, but she has always paid her own way and she’s pretty proud of that. However, having the flexibility to spend more time with Wiley and Amelia might be a bigger priority to her right now than a paycheck. He says, if she decides to take on the role, he’s sure she’s going to work it out, and she says, it’s pretty amazing that he’s such a good person, causes like this know to reach out to him for help. He says he really should be humble and say he’s no angel, but he really likes her thinking that he is.

Maxie leaves the office and Nina runs up to her in the hallway. She says, great. Maxie is still here. Maxie says she’s trying really hard not to be. What’s up? Nina says she’s celebrating, and Maxie says, celebrating what? Nina says, Willow spoke to her, with actual words. Said not in anger and in her actual presence, to her face, of Willow’s own choice. Maxie says, that is real progress. Please tell her how it happened. Nina says, believe it or not, it’s because of Drew, and Maxie says she did not see that coming. Nina says, neither did she, and Willow only talked to her tonight because Willow thinks she and Drew are friends now, when they actually hate each other more than ever. Even the sex is hateful. Maxie says, the what now?

Michael tells Wiley that he can pet the horses, but please not – he repeats, do not – feed the horses gum again. Wiley says he knows where the carrots are. He can feed them those instead. Cody says, they would absolutely love that. Just make sure he only feeds them one carrot at a time. Wiley goes to the stalls, and Sasha says she doesn’t want to be pushy, but she’s going a little out of her mind here. What did he think about her dinner? He says he thinks she should probably open up a food delivery service, because that tetrazzini was delicious. She says, he liked it? and he says he loved it. So did the boys. Cody says he told her that she was worrying about nothing, when Olivia comes in, saying, okay, okay. She could hear everybody gushing about Sasha’s cooking all the way up here. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Frankly, she thought there was a little too much oregano, not enough basil. That would have improved the dish immensely. Cody says he’s with Mama Q there. Sasha brought him a plate, and it was delicious except for the oregano. Olivia says, a man after her own heart. Okay. Other than that minor miscue, she and Michael both thought the dish was excellent. Even the boys liked it and they’re notoriously hard to please. So what does Sasha think? Can she put a dinner like that on the table every single night, plus breakfasts and lunches? Because if she can, the job is hers.

Olivia asks if Sasha wants to be the new Quartermaine cook, and Sasha says, yes. She’d love it. She hugs Olivia and thanks her. Olivia says, she earned it, and Michael says he’d like to personally request tetrazzini once a week and Sasha says, he’s got it. Cody asks if they hear that, and Olivia wonders what Wiley is doing in there. Michael says he’ll handle it and asks Wiley if he hears splashing. He goes back to the stalls, and Olivia says, never a dull moment around here, but she promises Sasha will get used to it. Sasha says she can’t wait. She knows she’s going to love working for the Quartermaines, and she promises that everyone in the family, young or old, will have healthy, filling meals between the amazing dinners that Olivia will make. Olivia says she’s sure they will and asks if Sasha wants to come up to the house. She’ll show Sasha her room and where everything is. Sasha says, definitely, and tells Cody, we’re good here, right? Cody says, absolutely, and Olivia says she doesn’t know what exactly is going on between the two of them, but she thinks they should establish a couple of ground rules. Cody says, lay ‘em on us, Mama Q, and Olivia says, what they do on their own time is completely up to them, but let us be very clear from the get-go that there will be no late-night tippy toeing into Sasha’s bedroom when there are children in the house, which is basically all the time. Sasha says, Olivia has nothing to worry about. She promises they’ll be good. Olivia says she’s not the morality police, far from it. But the house is full of impressionable children and gossipy adults. They got it? They nod, and she says she’ll see them up at the house. She walks to the door, turns around, and says, they’re very cute together… but let’s be very, very clear. She has her eyes on them. She does that V thing like, I’m watching you, and leaves. They laugh.

Nina tells Maxie that she knows it’s crazy. She can’t even explain it to herself why it keeps happening. Maxie says, keeps happening? How many times have the two of them… Nina holds up two fingers, and says, one thing led to another and before you know it, it’s just happening. Maxie says, no. That’s something you say about online shopping, not sex with your sworn enemy, because Nina and Drew do hate each other. Nina says, it just happened. She doesn’t know what to tell Maxie. It’s not like it’s hateful during. It’s great. It’s really great… Anyway, when it’s over, she despises him even more, along with herself, but that’s a conversation for another time. Maxie says, a therapist would have a field day with Nina, and Nina asks if Maxie can not think about the sex for a second. Willow thinks that Drew is this kind of stubble wearing superhero that can do no wrong, and the only reason Willow is talking to her is because Willow thinks she and Drew are getting along. How can she keep Drew on her side? Maxie says, won’t the great sex help with that? (my thought exactly), but Nina says she can’t rely on that. She needs to throw him some other kind of bone😐to keep him happy with her. Maxie says, wouldn’t it be funny if after everything that’s happened, Drew was the reason Nina got her family back?

Jason says, Dex texted him a picture he took, and Anna says, that’s the Cosmopolitan Hotel, yeah? He says, yeah. Does she see the date stamp? Anna says, that’s easily doctored, and Jason asks what Dex would get from that. She says, nothing. Valentin was lying the whole time. He says, about what? and she says, everything. When Nikolas disappeared, Laura and Doc had to go over to Europe to search for him, and the only lead they had was Chechnya, which is unstable and dangerous. So Valentin volunteered to go with them. He was gone for two months, and that day, July 6^th, he called her. He called her and said he was in Geneva, but he wasn’t. He was here in Port Charles with Hume. Jason sighs and says, so Pikeman briefed him and Hamish about the MetroCourt shooting to prep them for the job at the warehouse. They were a two-man sniper team, same as them. They got a room they set up in the MetroCourt, they took the shot, and then they evacuated to an extraction point where they met senior personnel who were running the op. Anna asks if they were Hume and Valentin, and Jason says, they weren’t given any names, but it sure looks like it. Anna says, clearly Valentin does more for Pikeman than schedule meetings. She was just with him. When Jason texted her, she was with him. She bumped into him at the MetroCourt bar, and he said he’d been out of the country, that he went to Switzerland to deliver his daughter back to boarding school, that it was her idea. But now she’s wondering if it doesn’t just make it easier for him to do Pikeman’s bidding. Switzerland’s a wonderful country. It’s discreet. Half the world’s arms are sold there. He has a perfect reason to return at any point whenever Pikeman requires. He asks what she wants to do, and she says, remember she told him that she was at the WSB with Valentin as trainees? He was very good, but she was better. She takes out her phone and makes a call.

Valentin says he knew it. She never could resist his animal magnetism. Anna says she’s not sure she’d put it that way, but she was thinking about his dinner invitation.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth asks why there’s paint on Aiden’s backpack; Drew says, there’s no one he trusts more than Curtis to take care of it; Maxie asks Scotty to please stop this madness and just tell Lucy; and Nina asks someone if they’re sure they know what they’re getting into.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana and Katie go to the sandwich shop, where Ann is already waiting, having escaped Sandoval. An awning is sitting in the middle of the shop, and in Ariana’s interview, she says, remember when they thought they were opening? They were so young and so naïve. There were code violations and they had to demolish the patio. In a lot of ways, they’re back to square one. Lisa arrives and asks if Ariana stole Ann from Sandoval. Ariana says, technically not. Lisa asks when they’re opening, and Katie says, they got a contractor to do the repairs the health department wants. Lisa says she spoke to Penny, and they don’t seem to be on the same page. Ariana says, Lisa is missing a piece and Katie says, Penny wanted a salary, so they sent the info to the lawyer. Ariana tells Lisa that they’re the sole owners, and Lisa says she was under the impression Penny was a partner, but Ariana says, they’re not the Three Musketeers. Penny was receiving a salary and on the back end would receive 10% of the profits. Lisa says she remembers Penny being okay with that, and Ariana says, she’s not now. In Katie’s interview, she says, they made Penny their COO and head of the back of the house. But there was trouble when they didn’t see eye to eye on Penny’s role in the business. Lisa says, Penny wants to be involved, and in Lisa’s interview, she says she’s had a good relationship with Penny. Penny helped the girls and also helped her. We flash back to that, and Lisa says she’s worried that if they part ways, the restaurant will never open. She hopes they get it sorted out.

Scheana arrives at Kyle’s store to discuss the upcoming launch. He tells her that she’s his main performer. Sandoval comes in, and Scheana asks if he’s performing, but Kyle explains that Sandoval knows what’s needed at an event and a free manager is good. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, Kyle has been there for him more than anybody else, and if there’s anything he can do to pay Kyle back, he’s, yes please. he owes Kyle a lot. He wipes tears away and says, Kyle saved his life. I’m mesmerized by what he’s wearing. It looks like an oversized leisure suit in pale blue. WTF? It’s like he’s playing dress-up with daddy’s clothes from the 70s. Kyle is worried about what happened at the pool party, since he doesn’t want it happening at his launch. Sandoval tells Scheana that he apologizes for bringing up sh*t from years ago. He wants things to be good between them. Scheana says she wasn’t going to put song out, but it was never about him. She didn’t add the line later. He says, it’s not the end of the world, but it’s just frustrating. Scheana says, that’s why she apologized. She didn’t forget he was a good friend who had her back from day one. That’s what made it so hard, but Ariana didn’t do anything wrong. Sandoval says he doesn’t understand the line in the sand thing and feels alienated. Kyle says, nobody has to forgive – that’s totally their choice – but don’t torture the guy. Scheana says she’d like to move forward and not throw the past in each other’s faces. She doesn’t want anything bad for him and she misses him.

Katie visits Lala, who’s getting ready for her birthday. Lala hopes Sandoval doesn’t think he’s invited, and she decides to call him. Katie asks her to put it on speaker, and Sandoval shows Lala that Scheana is there. Lala reminds him that he’s not invited to her party without actually saying the words, and he says he wasn’t coming. Lala says she felt he deserved a FaceTime and not a text. She says she’ll see him in San Francisco. Kyle asks if Sandoval was disinvited before being invited, and Sandoval says he was. Kyle says, it was nice of Lala to put it in a nice way, and Scheana says, I’m having a party and don’t want you to come. Sandoval says he’s used to it. Lala and the group meet at a speakeasy style bar for a burlesque show. In Lala’s interview, she says she feels that every year she’s more badass. This is what it feels like to be a woman who doesn’t give one f***. Lala says, if she could rule the world, have a positive pregnancy test, and end the custody battle with Randall, it would be a good year. The MC asks the audience, put your hands together and thighs apart for Toby Tayloro! and the show begins. In Brock’s interview, he says, since he was raised Mormon, there’s a small boy inside who gets uncomfortable. Lala takes photos with the performers, and Schwartz asks if anyone is coming to Sandoval’s show. Scheana says she’s not sure, but James says, maybe. Lala asks why Scheana was with Sandoval when she called, and Scheana explains that they were both there to go over Kyle’s show. She says, Sandoval apologized with tears in his eyes. She wonders if they could move forward in a way where they’re not going back to the past, and Lala asks if she means coexist in peace. Ariana mumbles, pathetic, and in her interview, she says, it makes her feel gaslit. As if what happened isn’t as clear as day. This has nothing do with her, but Sandoval repeatedly treats Scheana like sh*t. He’s not her friend. She tells Lala, he’s a loser. It’s annoying.

In Scheana’s interview, she says, everyone is together for Kyle’s launch party, but she and Brock want to plan some fun things. Brock has planned a Roaring 20s themed party to finish the summer with a bang. Scheana asks if he’s ever had Rice-a-Roni, and he asks what it is. She tells him, a San Francisco treat, although I don’t know why she thinks Brock will understand that reference if he doesn’t know what it is. Dan and Ariana go out to dinner. It’s a small table, so Dan sits across from her even though he doesn’t like that. I think it’s awkward to sit next to someone when there’s only two of you. Then you have to keep turning to talk to them. In Ariana’s interview, she says she’s never been in a long-distance relationship. She’s playing it by ear. The distance forces them to take things slow. So they can’t just be f***ing. Dan says he’s coming to San Francisco and asks who will be there. Ariana says, everybody, and Scheana is convinced Sandoval is going to try and shake his hand. She says, if he sees a worm with a mustache… Dan says, run to the bathroom? Ariana says she feels long distance is good for them. They got to know each other from talking. Dan says, it’s both good and bad. He works seven days a week. In her interview, Ariana says, sometimes when they talk, he’s getting up and she’s going to bed. Ariana says, what about moving to LA? and Dan says, they’ll talk about it. She says, when winter hits and he’s miserable. At the El Rey, Sandoval practices the trumpet badly. His mother, Schwartz, and James show up, and we see Jo in the audience. The show begins (eh), and in Sandoval’s interview, he says, the energy is electric. The people are throwing their hands up instead of throwing things at him. It feels good having fun and letting loose, especially after the past year. Schwartz and Jo go out for air where they act like middle school children. He asks how many dudes she banged, and she pushes him. We flash back to the conversation where she said they shouldn’t see each other anymore, and Schwartz tells her that they’re going to eat sourdough and ride trolleys. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he knew it was the right move, but Jo was bright energy in his life. Schwartz says, no mixed signals, and Jo yells, they’re just friends. Schwartz says he can’t say he’s not excited, and in Jo’s interview, she says, he’s giving her whiplash, and it’s frustrating. It’s like being on a hamster wheel. Ugh. Been there, done that, threw the T-shirt away.

In Lala’s interview, Lala says, Dan seems cool, but she thinks it’s weird that any dude would say, she’s the one, when she just left the guy that she’s been with for 10 years, but they still live together. Something’s off. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, the last thing he wants it to make anyone uncomfortable, but he’s intrigued. He wouldn’t mind meeting Dan, but he’s going to be very lowkey. Easy like Sunday morning. Brock tells everyone that they’ll regroup in a few hours, and Scheana says, they’re going to shop, go on a boat, then come back for Brock’s party. Dan tells Ariana that he’s going to work out and get a massage, and Ariana says she get to have a fun day with her ex. Dan says he wishes he could be there. Schwartz asks if Sandoval has met Dan, and Sandoval says, not yet. He should give Dan the lowdown like Ariana did to Tii. We flash back to Ariana discouraging Tii from dating a 40-year-old narcissist. Brock tells those who went shopping to pick up some warm clothes if they didn’t bring any, since they’re all too stupid to see what the weather might be and it’s cold there. The Toms look at Alcatraz and debate to odds of escape. Schwartz says he needed a reset. Now he doesn’t have the seething rage he did when he sees Sandoval. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, they’ve had a rocky partnership at Schwartz & Sandy’s, but they’re working on a plan of action to get him back in there. He’s hoping next year Schwartz & Sandy’s will be what they wanted. Schwartz says, about being roommates, he thinks he’s ready to commit. He offers Sandoval a keychain decorated with little handcuffs while on one knee.

The entire group, sans Dan, get on a private party boat, and James immediately swings around the pole in the middle while dollars are thrown at him. Sandoval tells Lala that on the first trip he and Ariana took, they stopped in San Francisco. It was a happy time. James and Ally take pictures on deck and get smacked with a wave. The boat hits choppy waters, and Lala says she feels like she’s on the Titanic. Ariana says she doesn’t like it at all, and in her interview, she says, her one fear is waves. Deep water, she doesn’t care. Sharks, whatever. She can’t die on a tiny boat with her ex. She has plans. The guys play at driving the boat, but Lala says she doesn’t know what’s fun about it. Brock asks Ariana how she’s doing on the boat with Sandoval, and she says, he’s like scenery at this point. He says, it’s better than last time, and we flash back to the beach and Ariana repeating, stop speaking to me, a thousand times. Ariana says, Sandoval has learned not to talk to her. She cares more about Scheana than to let people like that in her life. Brock says, with forgiveness you give yourself the ability to focus on the good, but Ariana says, you don’t have to forgive anyone who has traumatized you. In her interview, she says, the notion that you have to forgive to move on is outdated. Cutting them off or *grey rocking is the only way. She tells Brock that she’s being put in the position that you need to take the high road to have power, but she thinks all emotions have power. She sees the men raise their voices and no one gives it a thought.

* Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person’s behavior by acting as unresponsive as possible when you’re interacting with them.

Lala goes to Ariana and Dan’s room, and Ariana tells Lala that while she was gone, Dan put a Celsius in the ice bucket for her and ironed her clothes. They’re going to dinner. Ally wonders why Daniel wasn’t on the boat, and since she can’t grasp the obvious, James says, he probably didn’t want to get stuck with Ariana’s ex. He might want to rip Sandoval’s head off. Lala says, what if Sandoval came up to Dan and introduced himself? and Dan says, Sandoval hasn’t done anything to him, but he knows what Sandoval did to Ariana. The party is in a private room in a restaurant, and everyone is dressed in 1920s costumes. James points out that Ariana and Sandoval are wearing similar shoes, and Sandoval says, great minds. This creates even more awkward tension, and Katie suggests she and Ariana check out the bridge. They go out to the roof deck, and Schwartz says, they look like a duo. Katie says, they’re the new TomTom, and Schwartz says, they’re all friends again, although he’s still subservient. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, it’s nice not to have to tiptoe around, especially with Katie. They can make eye contact, maybe there will be smiling and a knowing glance. He tells Katie that he has a crazy idea. They’re in San Francisco, it’s a beautiful night, so one last time. They should have a one-night stand. She says, no, and he says, let him finish.

Schwartz says he’s not joking. Hear him out. They go to the room, order $150 minimum of junk food, scroll aimlessly, and not talk. Like they used to; it’s their thing. She doesn’t want that? She says she doesn’t want that, and in Katie’s interview, she says she thinks that Schwartz will look back years from now and see her as the one who got away. Schwartz says he’s getting sentimental. He misses the best parts of them. He wishes the dogs were here. They would seal the deal. Think about it. Sandoval asks Scheana to step outside, and Ariana watches their every move. The view is spectacular, and the full moon looks unreal. Sandoval tells her that they’ll be doing a soundcheck, and she says she never did a soundcheck or even rehearsed. How the hell did she put on a performance? And didn’t she do a video? Sandoval says he’ll be there all day. He knows Dan is here, and if it’s going to be awkward, he can not be around. Scheana asks how he feels about Ariana dating Dan, and he says, good. He’s worried about Ariana’s mental health. Now she has somebody with her, and she’ll be able to handle it better. Handle what? Dancing with the Stars? Scheana says she knows Ariana has a strong no contact policy, but she also knows the things he’s said about her, things she didn’t want public. Can he apologize for weaponizing that? We flash back to him telling Scheana that he didn’t break up with Ariana because she said she would kill herself. As if. In Scheana’s interview, she says, exposing private details about Ariana’s mental health makes things worse. We flash back to Ariana telling Scheana that Sandoval never even said he was sorry for the main thing. Scheana tells him that if he apologizes, maybe there will be some hope for the group to move forward. Say that maybe he shouldn’t have said that to deflect from his actions and make it an excuse. At the end of the day, Ariana only wanted to make it work. She didn’t freeze her eggs, go to couples therapy, and buy a house for herself. She was building a life for him. Don’t say anything. Just think about that tonight. Sandoval says he’ll do that, and to confirm what we all know – that would never happen – in his interview, Sandoval says, he could explain where he was mental and emotionally, but it comes across as him blaming Ariana. No matter how the relationship went south, she didn’t deserve that. He thanks Scheana for talking and they hug. He thanks her for being there, they exchange I love yous, and go back inside.

Next time, the finale.

🍼 Wandering In the Valley…

Jax doesn’t know what to do if he’s not part of the conversation. I have no words.

🪨 Between a Rock and a Medium To Hard Place…

Join me tomorrow for soap and ore from the internet mines. Until then, stay safe, stay returning your shopping cart to the slot and not leaving it to meander around the parking lot, and stay not holding on too tightly to your grievances.