What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sam says she tried to forget, and tell herself she could live without him. But then when she sees him, even just for a moment, nothing else matters. Jason says he picked up the phone a dozen times, but couldn’t call. Him, who’s afraid of nobody and nothing. He was too afraid to say it out loud. Sam and Jason are going through the letters, and were just thinking out loud. So far, they’ve found noting helpful. Jason says he’s looking for something to figure out if Marino was in deeper than Margaux wants to believe. If they find some dirt she doesn’t want public, it might get her to back off of Sonny.

Finn says he and Anna never made it to Detroit. It’s the one place they’ve both never been. He suggests they take a trip now, unless she has a location on Obrecht. It’s their chance for a romantic getaway. She says, to Detroit? They discuss Avallon (France), but she says they’re not going.

Sonny and Michael are at The Floating Rib. Sonny says he’d love to spend more time with Michael, and asks how he’s doing. Michael says he’s okay. He’s trying not to isolate, but it’s tempting. Whenever that happens Sonny’s voice comes into his head. He says he’s trying, and Sonny says that’s all he can do.

Jordan and Curtis discuss wedding plans at another table. She says the hardest part is the seating chart. World War III could break out unless they focus. Curtis is trying not to focus on Aunt Stella’s boycott of the wedding.

Not-Doc walks through the hall at GH. He tells someone on the phone that he has to cancel because of an emergency, and his will office reschedule. He calls Laura, and leaves a message. He wishes she’d run her Ferncliff plan by him first. He’s on his way. Stella says she’s been looking for him. He says he’s in a rush, but she says, too bad. She has a bone to pick with him.

At Ferncliff, Laura asks if Carly is all right. Carly says this place tried to break her, but it didn’t. It might have succeeded if she hadn’t gotten out. She wants to see the patient who was next door to her, but Kay says she’s not authorized to open patient doors. Laura says she won’t leave until the door is opened. Kay leaves, and Laura asks Carly if she’s sure, but Carly wants to see it. He’s probably dangerous, but he was the only contact she had. She wants to finally put a face to the scream. She looks into the room, and I wonder why she can’t see him through the door window.

Anna can tell Finn is disappointed. He says he had visions of strolling on cobblestone streets and sleeping in late. She say she’d love to escape to Provence, but there’s something more mundane she has to do. They’re at the prison visitor entrance.

Sam says Jeanette and Skully were having an affair for years. She wonders how Jeanette got the letters she wrote to him, and Jason says maybe he had them returned to her after he died. Sam says, love makes you do crazy things, and they give each other a look. They need something to tie Martino to Skully. Jason says Martino laundered money himself on orders from Skully. If they can prove collusion, it would be a huge hit to Margaux’s reputation. Sam says, the DA having ties to organized crime; she almost feels sorry for her. Margaux created a fairytale about her father, and she’s going to find out it’s all lies. It’s a tough pill to swallow. Jason says she deserves what’s coming, and Sam reminds him she said almost. Jason says, Margaux is so obviously willing use anyone and everyone to get what she wants. Mike, Carly, Drew, Kristina. Sam says, she’s targeting everyone in Sonny’s life one by one. She wonders who’s next.

Sonny tells Michael that he knows how hard it is to keep going after you lose someone. The hard part is whether to shut down or reach out. He wishes he could tell Michael it will end, but grief has no time table. The only way out is through. It’s how you deal with it. If he wants to get busy with work, it’s okay. It’s all part of the process. Margaux walks in and sees them. Michael asks what he should know about Charlie’s Pub. Sonny says the DA wants his head, and she’s not going to stop until she gets it.

Curtis asks Jordan, what happened with the search for Marcus? She says, it’s a dead end. He’s been married more than thirty years. Curtis says, so much for pining for Aunt Stella.

Stella tells not-Doc that he still hasn’t signed the form she asked for days ago. He says he’s swamped, but she says that doesn’t mean he can’t deliver. He tells her, first thing tomorrow, but she says, now. Without it, the patient won’t get the care they need. She says she’ll wait, and he stomps off.

Carly looks in the patient’s door, and sees an empty room, answering my question. She says, no one is in there. The patient must be having treatment. Laura says, or they were discharged – or worse. Carly thinks Kay would have told them. She hopes whatever it is, it’s legitimate and with his consent. We see inside the room, and Doc is sitting under the door window, out of it.

Jason tells Sam that Margaux’s father made his own choices. The consequences should be his problem, not hers. Sam wonders how would he have known she’d spend her life trying to figure things out, and Jason says, you can put things on your kids without meaning to. Sam says they’re not talking about the DA, are they? Jason tells her, if something happens to him, he doesn’t want Danny think he was some innocent. His work is his choice, and he’s prepared to assume the risk. Sam says she wouldn’t tell him the details, but she would never lie. Jason says, even if it’s easier? and Sam says she’ll just tell Danny they were Jason’s choices in the life he had before Danny was born. Jason says, choices can’t be unmade, and Sam tells him it won’t be easy, but it beats the alternative. Look at Oscar. She understands why Kim was keeping him in the dark, but in the end the lies caused damage. Jason says they’re on the same page, and she says, as long as he does the same for her; tell the truth. Jason says he will, that she’s the most amazing person he’s ever met, and Danny hit the lottery with her for a mom. Sam says she’s talking honesty.

Michael tells Sonny it’s clear his grandfather had something to do with the explosion. Is there anything he can do on his end? Sonny thinks Mike is okay; it’s just how the DA went after him. Michael says, even though he has Alzheimer’s? and Sonny says, she doesn’t care. The body turned out to be her father, and she’s determined to find out how he died. She’s convinced Sonny did something. Michael asks if she thinks his grandfather had something to do with it. Sonny nods, and says, or he’s covering. Michael asks if there’s anything for her to find out, and Sonny says, not that he knows of, but she’s not giving up. She even hassled Kristina. Michael says Kristina had texted that she wanted to talk to him. Sonny says Margaux has no way to get him, and tells Michael not to worry, but don’t be surprised if she comes knocking at his door. Michael hopes she does.

Back in her old room at Ferncliff, Carly says, a new bed, fresh paint, new furniture. Laura asks what was there before, and Carly says, not a lot. Laura thinks it must have been terrible, and Carly says she doesn’t miss this place. She flashes back to telling Doc about the Morse code, and him advising her not to engage. She knocks on the wall, and says that’s how she and the patient communicated, explaining that she used an app on the phone Jason snuck in. They guy wanted her help. She thinks about him so much. She wonders who he is, and what he did to get in there. She knocks again, and Doc hears. Carly wishes she could tell him. Mary Pat walks in with a box of her belongings, and says, going down Memory Lane, Caroline? Why is she allowed to wander around? Some maximum security.

Jason tells Sam that he never wants his kids to follow hsi path, but he’s already set an example as a father. Sam says parenting is hard. It changes the way you make choices. She’s already having nightmares about Scout getting into relationships. She doesn’t know how to guide her. There’s a tightrope between parenting and controlling. They go back to at the letters, and Jason says, bingo! He reads, the only way to be together is if Vincent is gone. He told her that he’d do anything for her, and if he meant it, prove it. Sam rubs her hands together, and gives Jason the phone.

Jason texts Sonny, saying he’s with Sam, and wants him to come by. Michael says he knows Jason is helping him with the DA, and Sonny says, gotta go. He leaves, and the bartender brings Michael another drink sent from Margaux. She asks if the seat opposite him is taken.

In the visiting room, Finn says Britt zeroed in on Patrick like a missile, and Anna tells him, the lies she planted had a ripple effect. She’s a treacherous, awful person. Finn says they should definitely spring her then. Anna says there is something about her that’s sane-ish, unlike her mother. Obrecht won’t let go of the idea that Peter is responsible for Nathan’s death. The only way going Peter is going to be safe is if Obrecht is behind bars.

Michael tells Margaux that he was just leaving. She introduces herself, and holds out her hand. He doesn’t take it, saying, he knows who she is. He doesn’t have a memory problem. She sent his mother to Ferncliff for something she didn’t do, after she forced his sister to paint her as a lunatic. Margaux says she didn’t know, but he says all she cares about is taking out Sonny. She says Sonny killed her father. Michael says he doesn’t know anything about that. She says, sure he does. Sonny killed his father too.

Carly asks if Mary Pat has all her things. Mary Pat says she does, but she has no place to put them. Her rent was raised 300%, and she can no longer afford her apartment. Carly says, bummer; sad. Mary Pat says it’s thanks to Carly’s petty revenge. Carly says she warned Mary Pat before she pumped her so full of drugs, she didn’t know her name. She made it clear that Mary Pat had a choice. She made the wrong one, and these are the consequences. Mary Pat supposes this is why her credit cards were all canceled. Carly says she told Mary Pat that she wasn’t like others. She’s not helpless, and wasn’t going to be victim to Mary Pat’s personal power trip. She said she had a long reach, and now Mary Pat is paying the price for ignoring her. Mary Pat says Carly thinks she knows everything, but she doesn’t. Carly does have a question. The patient next door isn’t in there. Mary Pat says, he’s not? Carly asks, what happened? and not-Doc runs in, asking what they’re doing there.

Not-Doc says he thought Mary Pat had been dismissed, and she says after nineteen years of dedicated service. She followed the guidelines she was given, and kept confidences. Carly tells him to get her out. Mary Pat says she’s leaving. It’s margarita night at The Floating Rib. She tells Carly, it’s been real, and Carly says, it’s been something. Mary Pat leaves, and not-Doc says if he’s known they were coming out on a fact-finding mission, he would have urged caution. He can’t have the next mayor running that kind of risk. If something happened, he’d never forgive himself. He hugs Laura.

Anna tells Finn that Obrecht is capable of anything. Although Britt is a schemer, she’s no threat. Anna doesn’t think she’s capable of physically hurting someone. She thinks she can suck it up and deal with Britt. The guards bring Britt in, and she says it’s lovely to see Anna.

Jordan asks Curtis if they can put certain people at neighboring tables, and they won’t kill each other. Curtis says if they try, he’ll throw them overboard. Stella comes in, and Jordan tells her that they’re doing seating arrangements. Stella says, the dreaded seating chart. Jordan says they’re still holding a place for her. Curtis hopes she’ll come, but Stella says she can’t.

Michael says Margaux will sink to any level. She asks if she got the facts wrong. Did Sonny not kill his father? Michael says, if she knew the facts, she know there were extreme extenuating circumstances.  He’s not talking about it to her, and she says she understands. He asks if this is the part where they cry on one another’s shoulders and commiserate. Then he helps her. It’s not a good plan, and his father isn’t the one she should worry about.

Sam wonders why Jeanette would keep over thirty years of incriminating evidence. Jason thinks she was probably confident they got away with it. Sonny arrives, and asks if they found something. Sam says Jeanette was definitely having an affair with Skully. Jason says in one of her letter, she asked Skully to get rid of Marino. Sonny says, Margaux’s mother is responsible for the hit. He’ll be damned.

Not-Doc says they’re not supposed to engage with the patients. Carly says she doesn’t care what he’s done, or how far gone he is, no one deserves to be treated like that. Not-Doc agrees, but reminds her that it’s a wing for the criminally insane. The only reason she was there was because of the lack of space. Kay comes back, saying they’re not allowed any contact, and not-Doc says it’s a tough place, and rules need to be followed. Kay asks for their IDs, and not-Doc says he needs to get back to GH. The next time, don’t take the matter into their own hands, or at least give him a heads up. He leaves, and Carly insists on seeing inside the room. Kay says they can’t do it, but Carly says she’ll call her lawyer for a favor, since she has a pending lawsuit with Ferncliff.  She says Mary Pat was in and out of patient’s rooms all day for any or no reason, Open the damn door now.

Britt asks who we have here, and Anna introduces Finn. Britt asks if he’s come to give her a physical, but he says he’s consulting. She says, bummer (word of the day). She tells him she’s a doctor too. Anna says it’s getting late, and Britt accuses her of being a buzzkill. She asks what business she and Anna have, and Anna asks what Britt last spoke to her mother. Britt says over a month ago; not since Nathan’s death. Ann is sorry about her brother. Britt thanks her, and says she heard she’s gained a family member. Anna says, Peter, and Britt says, no more Henrik? Anna says, he wanted to distance himself from father, and Britt says, don’t we all? She asks why her brother isn’t visiting, and Finn says, it’s hard when you’re being held hostage. Britt says her mom is up to her old tricks. Anna asks if Britt would like to meet him in more pleasant surroundings, like the MetroCourt. Britt tells her to make reservations for a few years from now, but Anna says what if she could make it happen soon?

Stella tells Jordan, for the record, she doesn’t think Jordan would do to Curtis what she did to Thomas. She understands that Jordan is remorseful. But it’s so much pain and loss, and when she thinks of that, she thinks of Jordan. Jordan asks if she can’t get past it, and Stella says she would if she could. Jordan gets it. Stella has every right to feel that way. Curtis says they’re going through with it, with or without her. Stella says she’s not about hoping it won’t happen, but she’s being honest with herself. A guest should approve of the marriage, honor the couple, and share in their joy. She can’t do that, and can’t forget who won’t be there and why. Jordan tells her, up until the minute they say I do, there will be a chair waiting for her.

Michael tells Margaux that his father is an excellent business man. Margaux says, the notorious Corinthos Coffee. Michael says if she wants to go after his father, go for it, but if she goes for him through other people – like his grandfather who has Alzheimer’s – they have a problem. ELQ does more for the city than any other company. He has friends who will listen to his legitimate concerns. She’s being unprofessional by pursuing Sonny because of a personal vendetta, and needs to watch her step. He can make things uncomfortable. She asks if it’s a threat, and he says, not a threat; the facts. He’ll do anything legal to protect his family.

Sonny asks how Sam got the letters, and she explains that she and Spinelli posed as insurance agents. Jason says he would be useless at impersonating someone. Sam says he was impressive last time, but Spinelli does have a flair for the dramatic. She says as soon as they mentioned Marino’s name, Jeanette’s eyes darted to the desk. Spinelli got her out of the room, Sam found the letters, and put them in her briefcase. Sonny says, she asked Skully to get rid of her own husband. If that doesn’t back Margaux off, he doesn’t know what will.

Curtis thanks Jordan for being gracious. Jordan says she respects Stella. She’s a good person who was dealt a crappy hand. She asks Curtis if he wants to postpone, and work on her more, but Curtis says he’s not losing the best thing that’s happened to him. Stella knows he loves her, and he has no doubt that everything will be okay, as long as he has Jordan.

Michael doesn’t think Margaux wants lawyers involved. She’ll be inviting a problem. Especially after how it shook out with his mother. She tells him, have a nice day, and leaves.

Sonny says he can’t thank Sam enough. He knows she took a chance. Sam says, it was worth it. He says it’s exactly what he needed for leverage against the DA. Now he just has to figure out the best way to use it.

Anna tells Britt, sign, and she walks out free. Britt says, nothing is ever free. What’s the catch? Anna says, it’s more of a quid pro. If she agrees to work with the WSB, and help trace her mother. She moves out, and Obrecht moves in.

Laura tells Carly that Doc asked them not to. If they cause an incident, it might hurt more than help. She promises to fix the problem, but not this way. Carly says they know their way out. Doc grabs the bedpost, and pulls himself up. He looks out the door window, and weakly says, Laura.

Not-Doc sees Mary Pat having a drink at The Floating Rib. He asks if he can join her, and Mary Pat says, somehow she knew they hadn’t seen the last of each other.

Tomorrow, Britt wants a better offer, Lulu says hell no, and Laura promises to fix what’s wrong with Ferncliff.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

When we last left, Shannon was going apesh*t. Vicki sent her a message saying they love her and let’s have a nice dinner tonight, but got no response.

Jamaica – Day 3. Tamra wonders if Shannon is okay. Vicki doesn’t like to see anyone that way. Kelly is scared to talk to her. Tamra doesn’t like being spoken to that way. In her interview, Tamra wants to be there to help her through this difficult time, but it’s hard being Shannon’s friend. Vicki wants to just enjoy the day, and Tamra asks if she’s going to twerk again. Emily is down with that. Gina is glad they’re moving on. She wants to have fun on vacation, and not talk about Shannon.

They go to the river. Dunn’s River Falls is 180 feet high. Kelly researched it, and climbing it is a must-do thing in Jamaica. Guide Andrew is there to assist everyone, and help them have a safe, fun climb. Kelly says, God help us. It’s not the most coordinated group. We flash back to that, and she’s right. She says one false move, and they’ll all go down. Tamra still can’t walk on uneven slippery surfaces, and Andrew tells her there’s a path along the side. She knows her doctor would have a fit. She was pushing it swinging on the rope and jumping into the water.

They start to walk up. Vicki says it’s against everything she believes, and they’re going against the current. Both of Kelly’s boobs fall out of her suit, and Andrew is like, woohoo. They wave to Tamra. In her interview, Tamra says the joy of watching is seeing them make a-holes out of themselves. Kelly keeps popping out, Vicki is falling on her ass, Gina is afraid of water. They slide down one of the slopes, and Tamra thinks it’s more fun watching them. Andrew promises they won’t die. In Kelly’s interview, she says it’s a bonding experience doing this outdoors as a group. Vicki wants down now. Kelly’s goal is to get up the waterfall in one piece. At the top, Andrew has them say, ya, mon, and they take a picture.

Vicki says they’re having a beach dinner tonight. Kelly thinks Shannon would have been funny on the waterfall. Vicki still doesn’t know where Shannon is, and she’s worried. She thinks they have to show compassion, and be together.

There’s a snack spread at the villa. Kelly says still no text back from Shannon. Vicki says they have to find her, and Tamra wonders if she went home. In her interview, Tamra explains that the hotel called in the middle of the night. They had a new villa with air conditioning, so they packed and left. Shannon chose not to go. She tells Vicki to call. Vicki calls the front desk and has them call Shannon’s room. Kelly thinks this is insanity, and Vicki feels uneasy. Kelly finds it absolutely rude, but Vicki asks, what if something happened? Kelly doesn’t think so. Me neither. I think she’s just an a-hole.

Gina thinks Shannon is immature. It’s a big deal and weird for her, and she hopes Shannon comes to dinner. Vicki pouts, but finally gets Shannon. Shannon says their overwhelming concern for her mental well-being is a kind of a joke. She’s been nothing but fun. Vicki says Shannon didn’t answer for 24-hours, and she was about to call the police. Shannon wanted a fun night, and it turned into a mess. Vicki says that wasn’t anyone’s intention. She asks if Shannon is coming to dinner, and Shannon says he was planning on it. She moved rooms, and tells Vicki to get her on the way to dinner. In Shannon’s interview, she says she’s working on being less reactive. She thinks she’s acting like many woman do who are going through a nasty divorce. I say, no, she’s always been like this.

Vicki thinks Shannon is having a pity party of one, and she can’t help unless Shannon opens her mind and heart. They have to fix this. They’re friends. Shannon tells Vicki that when she’s upset, she needs to process. She’s hurt, and thought they were criticizing her, and judging her for being emotional. She’s doing her best to keep it together. She got an earful from Vicki last night. We flash back to Shannon claiming she defended Vicki, and Vicki saying Shannon called her a con-woman all over town. Vicki says Shannon hurt her. They went sideways, and for two and a half years, no one called her. After Brooks was exposed, she was abandoned. So she did her best be friends again. Basically ignoring what Vicki just said, Shannon says she’s not going sideways. She’s on a path, and doing well. With what she has on her plate, she’s doing the best she can.

Gina asks, what’s going on? and Tamra says Vicki is picking up Shannon. Shannon tells Vicki that she’s not crying every night. She’s excited about her life, and it pushes her buttons when people say she’s doing something she’s not. In her interview, Vicki thinks Shannon needs to stop and go to dinner and have fun. Kelly says, it’s like when you call your kid and don’t get a response. You get nervous. Emily says, and this is in a different country. Kelly says, then you get panicky; then mad. Vicki tells Shannon that they’re have a beach day tomorrow.

Vicki shows up with Shannon, and Kelly thanks Shannon for finally coming. They were worried about her. Shannon says she’s good; she’s there. In her interview, Kelly says it’s ironic that Shannon is the one with the least manners, since she’s gone to a lot of cotillions. Kelly says they were worried about her. Vicki suggests they let it go, and Shannon says, sorry. In Kelly’s interview, she doesn’t think Shannon has any idea of the stress she put on them, and how worried they were. She doesn’t need another freak out though, so she’s going with the apology.

Shannon says she’ll address the elephant in the room. She appreciates them giving her the time and space she needed to take a step back. She was incredibly hurt, and there are things that need discussing, but she needed space first. Gina says she was just trying to be Shannon’s friend. Shannon apologizes, saying she gets it. Everyone has stuff, but for her, it’s more than she’s used to. Emily says everyone feels like they’re supporting her, but it’s not reciprocated. They just want to be friends with her. Shannon says with Gina, she has a hard time because Gina is going through a divorce, but saying they’re still attracted to one another, and he’s her best friend. It’s what she wanted for herself. Her intent wasn’t to judge Gina, but when she started off her own divorce, it was the opposite of what it is now. Gina isn’t saying everything is perfect. Obviously, it’s not. It’s a hard transition. In the souvenir shop, she saw an ornament, and that was their thing, This is her journey, and she wants to be respected for it. When it comes to Shannon, she’s trying to be Shannon’s friend. Let her in. Shannon admits it’s hard for her to let people in. She’s sorry. In Tamra’s interview, she says Shannon owed Emily and Gina apologies a long time ago, but where’s hers? She’s so used to being the one who makes things better, but she’s not doing it this time, and Shannon doesn’t know what to do. They clink glasses. The food comes, and there are little glasses of salad dressing, which Tamra claims is soup. Everybody drinks it, and they’re all like, wtf? She starts laughing, and we all laugh with her.

The next day, everyone gets ready to hit the beach. In her interview, Shannon says she’s reaching out to Tamra. She’s a communicator. Friends have their ups and downs, and she hopes they listen to each other, make amends, and move forward. In Tamra’s interview, she says she’s nervous. She doesn’t want another blow-up. She’s hoping they can resolve this, but she’s going to be 100% honest. If Shannon doesn’t like it, they’re done. Kelly thinks it’s important to have open communication. You can only be sad for yourself for a little while. The reality is, Shannon has a damn good life, and needs to get over herself. Kelly goes to get Emily and Gina.

Shannon tells Tamra that she’s reeling from dinner. Apparently, there are underlying issues with the friendship. Tamra says she was reactive. The only reason it got to where it was, is that she’s always negative. She needs to learn to decompress, put the phone away, and have fun in the moment. Shannon should learn from what Tamra’s gone through, but only complains. If you just complain, no one wants to hear it.

Kelly tells Emily and Gina it’s been hurry up and wait for Shannon the whole trip. Emily says she’s never come across someone so – and Kelly finishes, entitled. Emily says she’s not a doctor, but she thinks Shannon’s behavior is like her mom’s. There’s a chemical imbalance. Kelly says there are manic highs and lows. Emily thinks there’s a lot going on that Shannon doesn’t recognize. She’s dealt with it her whole life. She starts to get weepy, and says it was hard for her. In her interview, she says it wasn’t easy, growing up in the middle of nowhere in Ohio with no dad, and a mom with serious depression issues. Now she’s making me cry. She says, as a child, she didn’t recognize it. She didn’t know her mother was ill or needed help. In Emily’s interview, she says she spent her childhood trying to take care of herself and her sister. She’s the one who got her sister up and dressed for school, and when she went to college, gave her money. They had to stick together. She always thinks she’s put it away, but it surfaces all the time. Her mother didn’t realize early on, but is getting help now. Emily hopes Shannon gets closure and help, so she doesn’t have a lifetime of being depressed or upset. Kelly empathizes. Shannon had an amazing life, now it’s crashing down, and she doesn’t know how to handle it.

Tamra tells Shannon that she doesn’t like being screamed and yelled at. She won’t be talked to like that. Shannon was also accusing her of being a sh*t stirrer. How was she stirring the pot? She’d been defending Shannon. Tamra says her husband was having an unplanned heart procedure, and she still went to Philadelphia. She just did that, and Shannon said that about her? She doesn’t deserve it. Shannon says she’s sorry Tamra feels that way. Tamra says that was a sh*tty apology. Shannon says it wasn’t her intention to hurt Tamra, and Tamra says, but she did. Shannon says, it’s a semantics game. Oh no it is not. I even made a sound when Shannon gave that lame apology. Saying you’re sorry someone feels like that, is just like a murderer saying he’s sorry they’re dead, instead of saying he’s sorry he killed them. That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine – a non-apology apology. When someone says they’re sorry, I always ask what for, so I know if they’re sincere.

Tamra says Shannon accused her of needing medication, when Kelly said that, and she was just trying to help. She could have just said it’s not for her, but instead started screaming. Shannon tells Tamra that Gina said she wasn’t a good friend, and Tamra looked at her like she was talking to nobody. Tamra says that was Gina’s observation, and not anything she said. The only thing she ever told Gina was that Shannon didn’t call when Eddie was in the hospital, and that was a month ago when the conversation happened. Since then, Shannon has been there for her. Shannon apologizes. In her interview, she says there are hurt feelings on both sides, and there has to be communication to have a healthy friendship. Tamra wants Shannon to put this sh*t behind her, and be happy. Shannon says she’ll get there. In Tamra’s interview, she says she doesn’t want the friendship to be one-sided. If it takes tough love, she’s going to do it. Shannon admits she needs to listen more. She has things to work on, and she’s going keep doing it. Tamra says it’s all she can do, and they hug it out.

Kelly wants fun time. She can’t take the bullcrap anymore. The ladies are back on the bus, going to Doctor’s Caves beach, where there are healing waters. Kelly loves the beach, and thinks it’s perfect, since they all need healing. Shannon says she needs a big dip in it. Tamra tells her about Vicki twerking. Emily and Gina go to get something to eat, and the other ladies go down to the shoreline and order tequila. Gina tells Emily that she wants to know what happened, and if Tamra got an apology.

The beach group gets in the water. I’d give anything to be there right now; it’s beautiful. And so calm. Emily and Gina order food, and Gina’s mom calls. She tells Susan that Jamaica is gorgeous. Emily says hello, and wishes they could meet. She tells Susan to come back soon. When the call is over, Emily gets emotional. Gina says she’s sorry, and hugs her. She says Emily is the best mom, and Annabelle is lucky. In her interview, Emily says she loves Gina, but she’s jealous. She wants that kind of relationship with her mom. It’s what Annabelle has with her. Gina’s heart hurts for Emily, and she says Emily is giving Annabelle what she wants. Emily says Gina’s mom is so sweet, and she can tell they have a great bond. Gina tells her not to be sorry. She wants Gina and Annabelle to be like that. Emily doesn’t want to mess anything up. She wants Annabelle to pick up the phone like Gina did, excited that her mom is calling. Gina says they butt heads, but they’re best friends. Even though Emily doesn’t have that, she’s not repeating the pattern. Emily says that’s why she had kids later. In Emily’s interview, she says her kids have a safe environment. She makes them dinner and breakfast. And her husband even brushes Annabelle’s hair. She never had that, and never felt, but she’s happy she can give it to her children. The food comes, and Emily hopes the others are having fun frolicking. Gina says, it’s such a crapshoot. and I laugh.

The girls get drinks in coconuts delivered to them in the water, and declare it good. Gina and Emily join them, and go into water. Tamra tells Gina that she stood her ground for the first time ever. She told Shannon it’s not what Gina meant to convey. Gina says she’s sick of hearing Shannon’s sh*t. Emily says she doesn’t want to upset Shannon, but she doesn’t want to walk on eggshells. In Emily’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if Shannon is aware of all the things Tamra has said, but she thinks it worked out because other factors haven’t surfaced.

Kelly sees a floating trampoline, and says she wants to go on the jumpy thing. Tamra goes back to being an old lady sitting on the beach, drinking and admiring the view. Kelly does a backflip, and she, Gina, and Emily jump around. Shannon gets a foot massage. Vicki notes the masseuse has good teeth. Tamra tells him if he didn’t, Vicki would buy him some. Oh snap. If you can’t remember back that far, Vicki had Brooks’s teeth fixed when they first got together. Tamra says Vicki is a dentist who twerks. Dude wants her to shake her booty, but Vicki doesn’t want to. He says she’s in Jamaica, and asks who wants her to twerk; he’ll pay her. She says she’ll pay him not to. In her interview, she says she’s not twerking. At fifty-six, it’s not good for you. Emily does a cartwheel fail into the water, and we all laugh.

The group goes shopping in the tourist area. Kelly sees a lighter that looks like a penis. Shannon says she’s the one who spotted it, and Kelly says she would spot a little d*ck. Afterwards, they head out to dinner. In her interview, Vicki says her rules for a successful dinner are, no talking about Shannon. The only subjects are the weather, how humid it is, and what the humidity does to their hair. Nothing deep.

Vicki asks what Gina liked most, and Gina says the raft. It was fun, and a big deal for her. Once you face your fears, everything is a party. Kelly enjoyed today; she loves the ocean. Everyone agrees her back-handspring was phenomenal. Emily loved the rope swinging. She doesn’t get do stuff like that three kids. Tamra thinks the whole trip was amazing, but her fight with Shannon was the best thing. As much as it hurt them both, she thinks there was growth from it. Shannon says, you learn and grow from your mistakes. It touches her heart, and solidifies that they’re best friends. It will be okay. Tamra says she’s sorry for telling Shannon eff-you. Gina says, sometimes you just have to say it. There’s only one thing that would make Tamra happier, if Gina and Shannon kiss, and Vicki twerks. Shannon and Gina lean across the table, and give each other a kiss. In her interview, Gina thinks it’s finally happening. Houston, we have contact.

They all chant for Vicki to twerk. She wants Tamra to twerk with her, and Tamra obliges. Emily tries to show Shannon how to twerk. Everyone clinks glasses, and drinks to twerking and friends. Ya, mon.

Next time, Vicki has a procedure, Emily goes to therapy with Shane, Gina talks to Shannon and butts heads with Tamra.

🎃 I’m not sure how tomorrow and Wednesday will shake out. I’m going to try to do recaps, but it all depends on time. I still have to put together candy bags for the trick-or-treaters and put up decorations. We can get up to 100 kids, and last year, I started to get worried that I was going to have to give out granola bars. I also have to take the dogs’ pictures on Wednesday. This year’s theme – Jurassic Bark. Luckily, my costume as a park ranger is simple and comfortable, and I was able to get most of it cheaply at Hot Topic. No time for glamour this year. This should be my worst problem.

💀 Ah, Halloween Nostalgia…

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Laura lights candles for a romantic dinner. Not-Doc comes downstairs, saying he finally conquered the bug that’s been plaguing him, and is feeling like his old self. She says it’s music to her ears, and turns on a song. She asks if recognizes it, and he says how could he not? She tells him too bad they couldn’t dance to it at their wedding. Not-Doc talks about the blizzard that thwarted their plans like he was there. She thought maybe they could begin second their honeymoon with the dance they missed – or is it too late? What has he done with her husband?

Elizabeth knocks on Sam’s door. She asks if she can come in.

Franco sees Drew on the docks. He loves the dying light there, and takes out a sketchpad to capture it. Drew says he’ll leave Franco to it, but Franco says Drew looks like he could use a friend, and that’s what he is.

Jason gives Spinelli’s research on Vincent Marino to Sonny. He says Sonny was right. DA Dawson’s father was no innocent victim.

Nelle sees Brad, and approaches him. She says, hi, baby, and everyone stares at Brad.

Laura tells not-Doc that he’s not the man she married. He asks what she means, and she says he’s different. He says he’s feeling better, but it’s clear something is wrong. he says she’s right. He froze when saw the trouble she went to because he can’t stay. He was looking forward to celebrating her homecoming at last, but a patient of his is in a dire state, and he’s duty bound to check on them. Laura laughs, and says she certainly understands his dedication. She wouldn’t have it any other way. Not-Doc says he doesn’t deserve her. She asks what time he’ll be back, and he says it could be quite late, but promises to make it up to her. He opens the door to Lulu and Charlotte. Lulu says Charlotte insisted on spending time with her grandmother. Doc pats Charlotte on the head, tells her to have fun, and jets.  Laura asks if Charlotte is really her granddaughter. She’s taller and so beautiful.

Elizabeth apologizes to Sam, saying she won’t stay long. Some things are better talked about in person. It’s about Drew.

Franco says this is where he and Drew resurfaced after Jim tried to bury them. Drew says, it was a long swim. Franco says he kept wanting to quit, but if he died, that meant Jim would win, and Drew would miss him. Wouldn’t he? Drew just wishes his son could do the same.

Jason tells Sonny some of the old files aren’t digitized, but what they know is Margaux is mistaken about her father. She said he was trying to quit the business, but it doesn’t fit with what Sonny remembers. Sonny says Marino was always flashing cash around, and loved being Skully’s consigliere. Jason says he was taking on a case that was likely to go to the Supreme Court, and Sonny says there’s no way he’d walk away from something that high profile. Jason says he’d also just cosigned with Skully on a beach house in the Hamptons. He wanted more, not less, and was getting in deeper. Sonny says Margaux’s whole perception of him is built on a lie.

Brad tells Nelle the baby’s name is Wiley. She says she hardly recognizes him; he’s grown so much. Carly asks how she could recognize him or know that he’s grown? Isn’t it the first time she’s seen him?

Laura can’t get over how grown up Charlotte is. She says she’ll tell Doc to stop patting her on the head. Lulu says she’s fine with Charlotte being a child a while longer. Laura brought Charlotte something from Paris. It’s a doll, but Charlotte says she doesn’t play with dolls anymore; she’s too old. Lulu tells her that’s no way to act, but Laura says, it’s okay. She happens to have a more appropriate gift for her more sophisticated and beautiful grandchild. She gives Charlotte an art book, and Charlotte wants to read it right now. Lulu thinks she should at least talk to Laura for a minute, but Laura says it’s fine. Charlotte sits to read, and Laura says, it’s just a doll, but Lulu says, it’s more than that; she’s growing up so fast, and Dante is missing all of it. When she needs her husband the most, he’s not available. Laura knows the feeling.

At Ferncliff, not-Doc/Ryan asks how his favorite patient is. Real Doc says he’s not Ryan’s patient; he’s his brother. Ryan asks if he can’t be both. Doc says he tried to help Ryan. He’s the one who belongs here. Ryan says, a wise man once told him – no, wait, it was Doc – the road to recovery begins with admitting there’s a problem.

Elizabeth says she knows Sam is one of the small circle who know about Oscar’s illness. Sam says Drew wanted someone he could trust and can talk to. Elizabeth is glad he told her. He can’t handle this by himself; that will only make it more difficult. She says Oscar is refusing the experimental treat, retreating from his friends, and especially his parents. Sam says, the word cancer can turn your life upside down. That must be why Drew came by after the memorial, but he didn’t stay. Jason was there.

Drew tells Franco when he first met Oscar, he was just a random teen who was hanging around with Josslyn. Kim was just a doctor at GH. He had no idea Oscar was his son. Franco says now Oscar calls him dad. Drew says they were just getting to know each other, and Oscar was liking him; no small feat. Now he’s hearing words like oncologist and experimental drug trial. Franco assumes Oscar knows Drew would trade places with him, but Drew says, it’s not that simple. He wishes he could regain the memories of the how he used to be – not for him, but for Oscar. He knows it bothers Oscar, not knowing about things like how Drew handled high school. He wants to give Oscar his history. Drew says what if he told Franco that maybe he could get his memories back. Oscar wouldn’t just know Drew’s name, but he could hand over the history of who he is, so Oscar could know who he is.

Nelle says she recognizes Wiley from the photos Brad posted online. Carly is surprised she’s allowed access. Nelle says her lawyer petitioned for it. She is presumed innocent. Michael says, not for long. She asks if she can hold him, but Chase says they can’t allow that. Brad didn’t know her trial was today. He’s there to fill out a passport application for Wiley. He’s sorry it ended this way for her. Nelle says they can’t all have happy endings. Carly says it’s her last chance to tell them what she wanted to say; her big moment. She tells Nelle to take it. When she walks in, her attorney will dictate her every move. What was her big announcement? Michael suggests she say it now.

Elizabeth doesn’t know why she’s surprised. Sam says it’s none of her business. Elizabeth says she’s not presuming to tell Sam how to feel or what do where Jason is concerned, but other people tend to get trampled. Drew needs all the support he can get. Sam says she was willing to give it, but Drew made it clear that he can’t turn to her. Elizabeth thinks that comes back to Jason, and Sam asks if Elizabeth came there to tell her to stay away from him for Drew’s sake.

Franco asks if Drew thinks there’s a way to get back his memories. Drew says, no; it’s more like a hypothetical situation. What would Franco do? (WWFD) Franco says if it poses a threat to who he is or what he has right now, it’s not worth it. Drew says the risk is minimal. Franco says, there has to be a catch, and Drew says, there always is. He’d have to give up information about Jason and Sonny that will put them away for a long time. Franco asks if that’s something he could do.

Sonny suggests Jason not jump to conclusions. Maybe Marino was acting like he was loyal, and looking for a way out. Skully found out, and Marino got whacked. All Skully told him was that he had a problem that needed taking care of, and Sonny could prove himself. It never occurred to him that Skully had a hidden agenda. He was a kid, and ambitious. He didn’t think that far ahead. Jason says there’s a reason why Skully wanted Marino dead, and why he had Sonny pull the trigger.

Nelle says she knows how much what she has to say will mean to all of them, especially Michael. Michael says she doesn’t affect him anymore. She says it should matter to him that she’s not being found guilty. Under the advice of her legal counsel, she’s pleading nolo contendere. Michael says that means she’ll accept the charge without admitting her guilty. She says, surprise! She’s spared him the ordeal of testifying. Dredging up old memories of his mistakes and failings. He’s welcome.

Lulu tells Laura that she gets that Dante is working undercover, and it’s not easy to call. But when he does, they usually end up arguing about their career choices. When they hang up, she feels even further apart. Even better, her boss walked in on their last phone call. It wasn’t his fault; she was in his office, but she was so upset, she couldn’t hide it. Laura says she supports Lulu’s choice to work for Peter, but given his history, she can’t blame Dante for his concern. Lulu says Peter is nothing like his father. He’s on her side, and has encouraged her every step of the way. Laura says they have to pray Dante comes around. Lulu says they have no way to talk it out. It couldn’t have come at a worse time. Dante just started working well with Chase. One call, and he says yes to a dangerous assignment, without even talking to her. Laura says she got the impression their marriage was solid. Lulu says he didn’t take it because of problems with them. She thinks it offered an escape hatch at the wrong moment. Dante was devastated by Nathan’s death. He couldn’t resist being someone else for a while. She can’t believe he left her with all of this. They should be working through it together. How can she help him with his grief if he’s not there. The longer they’re apart, the more she wonders if he used the assignment as an excuse to stay away.

Doc tells Ryan that he doesn’t have to do this. Ryan says he’s releasing his demons, and living a normal life. Doc says Ryan is living his life. That reminds Ryan. Does Doc have a favorite suit he wears when he’s an expert witness, or special cufflinks? Details are important. Doc says he can still help Ryan. Ryan says he appreciates Doc’s commitment, and points out his own joke. He tells Doc that he’s going to prescribe a new drug regimen. He recently heard that Doc had a mental break after his death. Doc says he thought Ryan was dead, and Ryan says, wishful thinking, but he’s right. There’s only room for one of them out there, and one has to stay at Ferncliff.

Elizabeth thinks it would be easier for Drew not watch Sam and Jason get back together during his ordeal with Oscar. She knows Sam can’t be persuaded though. Just like Elizabeth couldn’t when everyone told her to stay away from Franco. She’s just asking Sam to put the past aside, and work together with her to make things easier for Drew.

Franco thinks Drew is being very specific for a hypothetical situation. Drew reminds Franco that he said he wanted to help. Franco says there was a time when he would have said do anything he can to get rid of Jason, but he thinks they’re good now. He helped Jason break Carly out of Ferncliff. Drew is surprised, and Franco says he was the lookout, the point person, and helped neutralize the guards. Ultimately, Jason got her out, but he couldn’t have done it without Franco. It’s Drew’s life; his memories, and his brother. Franco says he doesn’t get a vote. Drew says other people will be affected, and they have families. Franco says there’s one other person he’s not mentioning in this hypothetical reality – Sam.

Sonny tells Jason, at the time, he thought he’d prove himself; it was way to move up. He didn’t think about it until later that it might be a trap; something to be used as leverage if Skully needed it. Skully never did anything in a straight line. There was always an objective. Jason wonders how Skully would have benefited from killing Marino. Sonny thinks they have to go back to Margaux’s theory. Maybe he was in too deep, and was a threat. But why use a kid to have him killed? Sonny could have frozen or left witnesses Why risk using him?

Chase says there will be no trial. Nelle is accepting the charges. Nelle says she’s not admitting to guilt, but Michael says she already confessed to killing Zack. (Speaking of which, where is Zack’s family? Why didn’t that sister show up?) Chase adds that she also confessed to trying to kill Michael. Nolo contendere means she doesn’t dispute the evidence. Carly says she’s going to prison for a long time.  She only regrets she won’t be there to hear the sentence, but she’s glad she’ll never have to see Nelle’s face again. Michael says he was going to ask the court to be lenient, in Jonah’s memory, but now he doesn’t need to be here. Nelle says she knows he’ll do his best to forgive her, but they’ll always be connected. More than he knows. Chase tells her it’s time to learn her fate.

Charlotte pronounces the book Laura gave her, magnifique. She can’t wait to show it to her papa. Lulu says they have to go, but she’s glad Laura is back. Laura is too. Lulu says she’ll be counting on her, and Laura says they’ll be counting on each other. Before they leave, Charlotte comes back to take the doll. Laura and Lulu look at each other.

Doc tells Ryan any resemblance between them is superficial. Ryan says, no argument from him. Doc lacks the fire of true brilliance. Doc tells Ryan that he can’t embody him. He’s going to make mistakes, and his disguise will wear thin to the people who know Doc well. His friends, his colleagues, and most of all – Ryan finishes, Laura. Doc says Ryan is also behind the times. Ryan says, that can happen in a place like this. He tells Doc that Laura is back, and he’s getting along famously with Doc’s wife – in every sense.

Sam says she can see Elizabeth’s heart is in the right place, even though she went about it the wrong way. It must be Franco’s influence. Elizabeth says Franco is a good friend to Drew; they actually talk. Drew needs all of them. There’s nothing more terrifying than the thought of losing a child. Sam hopes they never have to experience it. Elizabeth asks if they’re good. Sam says she would be there for Drew, but he made it clear he didn’t want her to be.

Drew tells Franco that Sam would definitely be hurt if he turned Jason in, but she wouldn’t be the only person affected if Jason went to prison. There’s Jake, Danny, and Monica. Franco says that’s on the downside. Drew says, on the upside, he’d be getting his memories back. Franco says, fair warning; he’s going to lose his hero cred with Oscar if he betrays his brother. Drew doesn’t care about hero cred; he just wants to be there. The treatment will probably be excruciating, but it might extend Oscar’s life. Franco says it’s silly, having this conversation. It’s all hypothetical anyway, right? Drew says, right. It’s hypothetical and silly.

Sonny thinks there’s something they’re not seeing. Jason says he’ll tell Spinelli. Carly walks in, and says they’ll never believe what happened. Nelle was in a rush to get it over with, and skipped the trial. Michael says she pled no contest. Sonny doesn’t like it, thinking the judge might go easy on her. Carly says she was looking forward to testifying. Sonny asks Michael if he’s all right. Michael says he’s fine, but the last thing Nelle said was that they’d always be connected.

Chase says Nelle wasn’t so clever. She asks if he thinks he enjoys losing everything, including her freedom. She got the maximum sentence. He’s satisfied to know justice is finally served. She says that’s a noble speech, but he’s not as virtuous as people might think. He says he learns from his mistakes, and keeps the past in the past. She says, really? and asks if there’s someone new in his life. She’s not as far in the rearview as he pretends. It says something that he hasn’t moved on. They both know he’ll never meet anyone like her. He says, promise? Brad is still there, and Chase says Nelle is on her way to her new home in Pentonville. She asks if she can have a moment with her only remaining friend and his baby.

Carly didn’t get to tell the court about Nelle, but the good news is, she’s on her way to prison. Jason says she can start to heal. Michael too. Carly says Nelle almost got what she wanted. Ferncliff was awful, especially at the end. It almost broke her. Jason says, it didn’t; she won. Carly says it took too long, and cost too much, but Nelle is finally and forever out of their lives. Sonny tells Michael to forget about Nelle. Michael says he’ll try, but she’s right about them being connected. They always will be connected by the child they lost.

Nelle asks if Brad got the passport all set, and wonders why the baby would need a passport. She asks if he and Lucas are going somewhere. He says, no, but they like to travel, and Wiley is portable at his age. Nelle says it looks like she’s going away for quite a while. Brad says he’ll miss her, but she says he has Wiley and Lucas, and there’s nothing stronger than the bond between parent and child. She tells him, cheer up. If she plays her cards right, she might get an early release. The officer takes her away, and Chase follows. Brad makes a worried face to rival Griff’s.

Doc says Ryan may have the ring, but Laura won’t be fooled by him masquerading as her husband. Ryan says it’s the only reason he’s keeping he distance – for the time being. It’s not easy. She’s more beautiful than he thought possible, and happy to be back. Doc tells him to leave her alone. Ryan says he’ll take care of her – one way or another. He walks out, and Doc yells for him to come back.

Laura starts to clean up the dinner that wasn’t. There’s a knock at the door. It’s someone with flowers, and she looks shocked.

Elizabeth goes to the docks. She tells Franco that she got his message. She asks what he’s doing there, besides not sketching. He says he was trying to help Drew. She says, believe it or not, she was doing the same thing. He asks if she had any luck, but she’s not sure. He says, that makes two of them.

There’s a knock at Sam’s door. It’s Drew.

Tomorrow, Not-Doc tells Ava that she’s a remarkable woman, Spencer shows up in Port Charles, and Sam tells Drew that she’s here for him no matter what.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Everyone is packing for the trip to Jamaica. They meet at the airport. Shannon wonders who goes there at this time of day. Nobody. Vacation Shannon is ready to play. Gina is hyped. She needs tan lines. On the plane Shannon wonders what the odds are that Kelly will go on a date with her seatmate.

Wow. That’s a lot of luggage for a few days and mostly bathing suits. Vicki says it’s hotter than she’s ever felt. The tour guide welcomes them to Jamaica. Vicki asks if he’ll be mad if they all wear Rasta hats with dreads attached, but he thinks it will be hilarious. They discuss conch being an aphrodisiac, and Vicki says she like to have sex four times a day, which is more than any of us needed to know.

They’re greeted with cocktails by hotel manager Ingrid. She tells them that they’re in the prestigious penthouse. Kelly suggests Shannon bunk with Emily and Gina, but she refuses, acting dismissive. In her interview, Gina commends Shannon’s rude balls. Shannon wants to enjoy herself with people she knows well. The penthouses are quite impressive, especially the view. They also have private butlers who probably realize immediately how full their hands will be with this group.

Emily and Gina say Shannon would have loved them. In Kelly’s interview, she says she went through this with Shannon, who was a little standoffish when they met. A little? She wants Shannon to warm up to Gina and Emily, since she enjoys them. In Tamra’s interview, she thinks if Shannon gives them a chance, maybe she’ll like them.

The air-conditioning is broken at the hotel. Vicki says it’s a beautiful hotel, but she can’t see it because her eyeballs are sweating. Tamra calls Eddie. A part of her is nervous and guilty for leaving him. Tamra tells others that Vicki won’t open the windows because of the Zika virus. Kelly says it’s not like Vicki is going to get pregnant. She’d be more worried about STDs before she’d be worried about mosquitoes.

They get in an extremely long golf cart, and ride to a restaurant that has live music. Shannon finds out her house was sold. They’re going to honor the lease until September. In her interview, Shannon wants consistency and structure for her girls. They haven’t even been there a year, and this is stressful for her right now. She tells the ladies that she doesn’t want to get emotional, but her kids will be crushed. Kelly suggests they think of all the people who are starving. Shannon says she gets that, but her kids don’t understand. Kelly thinks Shannon should take them to the projects. She’s done it, and it’s awesome. We flash back to Kelly and Jolie helping in the soup kitchen. In Kelly’s interview, she says Shannon doesn’t understand how fortunate they are. If she did, she wouldn’t complain as much. They toast to the vacation

Tamra asks about Gina’s living situation, and Gina says she and Matt are doing alternate weekends at the house. In her interview, Gina says they each have their own room. The kids aren’t capable of processing what’s going on, and they need to teach them in a way they’re able to understand. Kelly says Gina will have to think of finances. Gina says Matt is going to pay support. Shannon’s face is in her phone, and in her interview, Tamra says everyone listens when Shannon is venting, but she checks out when it’s someone else. Vicki tells Gina that she’ll need life insurance. In Vicki’s interview, she says if Matt died tomorrow, how would Gina go to the store. Everybody dies someday. Call her. Vicki, a walking advertisement for Codo Insurance. Gina insists she’s going to adult well.

Vicki is overheated. Tamra suggests water and fresh air. She says they can be dying in the street, but she’s not going to another hospital. We flash back to the dune buggy accident, and Vicki’s illness in Iceland. Tamra thinks there’s something wrong, and feels Vicki’s forehead. She dumps some water down the front of Vicki’s dress. Kelly mops Vicki’s face. Vicki says she hates them right now. Shannon laughs hysterically, and people are starting to look.

The next morning, Tamra, Emily, and Gina go to the beach, and order cocktails. The others go to the spa. Kelly has a heat rash, and won’t shut up about it. She’s never had a rash before, despite what people might think. They go into a heated salt lounge, where the walls and chairs are made of warmed salt blocks. Shannon forgot her bathing suit, and covers herself with a towel. Kelly babbles some more about her rash.

Tamra says she was tapped out, but enjoyed the dancing. We see a clip of them line dancing, and Shannon unsuccessfully trying to twerk, banging into everyone. Tamra says Shannon will warm up; it takes time. Gina says Shannon tells them everything about her, but doesn’t give sh*t about them. She thinks reciprocation would be nice. Tamra tells them Eddie says she’s an enabler with Shannon, but she feels badly for her. Emily asks why? and Gina says, she is kind of sad. Tamra says every day, Shannon wakes up with a negative comment. It’s been Shannon’s personality, and she’s adapted to it. Emily says, she’s adapted, instead of meeting in the middle. In her interview, Tamra thinks it’s a fine line between support and enabling. She has to flip the switch, but isn’t sure what to do. Emily asks if Tamra thinks it’s Shannon’s marriage or she’s always been like this.

Mineral pools are next. Shannon says she can only go in up to her vagina. Vicki tells her to put on her underwear. Shannon gets out, but Vicki and Kelly drag her back in, towel and all.

At the beach, the girls get in the water. Gina says it’s the first time she’s been cool. Tamra wants to sleep there. Gina says, beach, cocktail, no kids; it’s nice. She thinks the single life is awesome. She’s never going home. Tamra say she’s used to hearing about Shannon’s divorce every day. In Gina’s interview, she says Shannon blocks everyone out, and remains stuck. She doesn’t have to move on. Authentic, good friendships would be helpful in moving forward. The water looks amazing, and if I was there, Shannon’s issue would be the furthest thing from my mind.

Back at the penthouse, Tamra practically sits in the fridge. She tells Shannon and Vicki that they went to the beach, had drinks, and laughed. Shannon wants to know what they laughed at. Vicki wants to know who Tamra laughed with more. Tamra says she had fun with Shannon dancing. Shannon hopes it was worth hurting her ankle, because she’s feeling it today. Ha-ha! Tamra’s face.

In her interview, Gina says she has a major water phobia. We see clip of her not wanting to get on a blow-up raft at the beach. She says if it’s clear water, it’s okay, but murky water, not so much. She’s skeptical about the upcoming river raft excursion. They drink beers on the bus. Shannon sees how muddy the river is, and doesn’t want that sh*t water near her ass. In her interview, Tamra says Vicki should be only one who’s worried about getting the Zika virus, since she has the sh*t luck. In Vicki’s interview, she thinks she and Shannon have crossed over to a better friendship, and says, ah-ha, Tamra, because we’re five.

At the river, a dude serenades them with loud Jamaican sounds. They’re offered a refreshment before they leave, and get Red Stripes. Vicki says, no rapids, and we flash back to another trip where the rafting was pretty rough. Tamra tells Kelly that Vicki and Shannon are new BFFs. She caught Shannon asking Vicki to pair up with her. In her interview, Kelly finds the co-dependency between Tamra and Shannon strange. It’s weird. Tamra says she’d rather go with Kelly than listen to bitching the whole time. Let the Debbie Downers go together.

The ladies are introduced to the raft captains. Gina doesn’t want to get on. She doesn’t think she’ll get bit by something, but is worried the Kraken will come out of the water, as we all do. Shannon says she’s gassy, and Vicki wants her off the boat. Shannon blames the beer. Vicki says, let’s get this party started. Tamra says every time a captain says, ya mon, they have to take a drink. The see the almond trees along the shore, and attempt a round of Row, Row, Row You’re Boat, which doesn’t work out too well. Tamra and Kelly motorboat each other. Kelly needs another drink because there are so many ya mons. Tamra talks about Shannon not being nice, and Kelly says they didn’t talk for two years. You can’t force a friendship, and if she doesn’t want it, it’s her loss.

Tarzan (I’m not kidding; the text says that’s his name) swings by on a rope, and jumps into the water. Kelly wants to do it, but Shannon says she’ll just observe. Emily feels like any experience for something new, she’s in, and jumps into the water. Tamra calls her a bad ass bitch. Kelly hangs upside down, but swings back to shore. She says she already has a rash. Shannon and Vicki go back to the bar. Vicki tells the bartender she had an allergic reaction, and her eyes are shrinking. She’s allergic to Jamaica. She gets the bartender laughing with her ridiculous repartee. Tamra is next on the rope, swings into the water, and inadvertently flashes. In her interview, Gina says it’s Tarzan’s lucky day. Tarzan gives Tamra a high five. That actually happened to me once at the beach when I got slammed by a wave, but luckily no one was around.

Vicki babbles to the bartender about falling in love with a bad guy, and getting her heart broken. Now she’s met an incredible man, but doesn’t want her heart broke. In her Shannon’s interview, she says she doesn’t know how deep Vicki is going to get with the bartender. Vicki doesn’t want go wrong, and is doing the best she can on her side. The bartender has her own sob story, having falling in love like Vicki. Vicki says, you never know what the other person is thinking.

Gina is next on the rope, but she’s not going into water. She flips upside down like Kelly did, and makes it back. She’s proud of herself, even though she didn’t jump in. At least she tried. They go back to the bar, and tell Vicki and Shannon about their mini adventure, and Tamra’s flashing. Emily wants Shannon to do it. Swing on the rope, not flash. Shannon says no. In her interview, Emily says this is the extent of her conversation with Shannon. It gets to the point where you don’t want to try anymore, and feel like a jackass. Shannon wants air-conditioning. Tamra says the water is dirty, but nice and cool. Shannon wants to sit in the van rather than go in the water. She starts to leave, and Tamra asks if it’s something she said. Vicki goes to the van with Shannon, and the rest gather up their things. Tamra says she’s trying to be patient and help Shannon, but she’s getting so frustrated, and she’s going to blow. She asks why Kelly kept her top on, and Kelly she’s wearing a one piece.

Next time, a roller coaster through the woods, Vicki twerk, Shannon has a lot of new in her life, Tamra gets put on the spot, and screams at Shannon to stop screaming.

🌇 Calling It a Night Because…

Working on Halloween hijinks. Here are some hijinks from Halloweens past.