Category Archives: horror

Jun12

June 11, 2017 – Victor Meets an Old Friend, Bermuda on the Potomac & Red Violet

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Fear the Walking Dead

I’m desperately hoping we get to see Travis as a zombie.

We hear a voiceover telling us that the great American experiment has failed, and it’s time to start over. We see Jeremiah in a video, saying we need to be prepared. He’s advertising a video tape set that teaches one how to survive what he calls teotwawki or TE. But wait there’s more! You get a survival bucket at no extra cost. His tagline is, if you’re going to plan for a future, plan for a better one, as he and his family wave cheerily at the camera. That was actually fun to watch. They need more of that.

The settlers are having a meeting under a tent outdoors. A woman talks about losing a child because she thought she could fly, and jumped off the roof. Looking at Madison, she says her daughter’s life was risked for the unprepared. Madison gets up, offers condolences, and introduces Nick and Alicia. She says they’ve lost loved ones too. She says Travis was their compass, and thanks them for their generosity. Jake gets up and says grieving is hard, but they need to process it. Vernon says what they need to do is prepare. He wants to know why the helicopter fell. Jeremiah tells him that when they know what they’re dealing with, they’ll act. Jake says whatever threat it is, they’ll mete out justice when they get the details.

Alicia nearly gets in an argument with another settler, and tells them that they should be harassing Troy, not her family. Vernon’s daughter, Gretchen, apologizes for their loss, and asks if Alicia would like to join a Bible study. They also have a band. Alicia says they’re Jewish, but Gretchen says, cool, they’ll do the Old Testament. Well, that didn’t work.

Nick tells Luci that they’ll take the cuffs off soon, and she can see the place. She says she’s seen enough; she can’t forget what they did. As soon as she’s freed, they’ll go. Nick just wants them all to feel safe in one place. He says he had a chance to make that happen, to kill him. She says it wouldn’t have made them safe, and Nick isn’t a killer.

Madison finds Troy lolling about in a bunk. He says he likes the way she says Travis’s name, which is really, really weird. He asks what she did before, and she says she was a guidance counselor. He tells her that certain aspects of academia proved challenging, so he never went to high school. He says everything he does is in service to the ranch. She asks if his father knows that. Troy says complicated things need complicated solutions, and Madison says killing people isn’t complicated. He tells her that’s why he picked her – he didn’t pick Nick. She says Nick comes with her. He says that Nick doesn’t deserve this place.

Victor drives along a coastal road. He drives past a load of people waiting in a long line. He asks if the guard knows a Mr. Dante; he’s a friend. The guy tells him to get in line like everyone else. Victor offers him a watch (I think; I didn’t get a good look), but the guard tosses it away. He wrestles Victor to the ground and draws his gun. Victor says it’s a mistake. A guy leans over Victor, saying he looks like sh*t. I assume this is Dante.

Nick tells Madison that they’re not wanted at the ranch. Madison says they’ll win over the ones who don’t want them there. She tells them to stay away from Troy, who’s a work in progress. Nick says he’s got to do something. He thinks they should start over somewhere else. Madison says they’re not leaving; there’s no place better. They hauled him out of a hellhole, and Travis died for it. Nick says Luci won’t be safe there. He asks what if they let her go, and Madison says he’ll have a choice to make then.

Jake tells Jeremiah something is wrong. They haven’t heard back from the group that left to find out what happened with the helicopter. Madison walks in, and says she needs reassurance; some people resent them. Jeremiah says they’re strangers. Madison says, not to Troy. She’d like a leash put on him, and help with the others. Jeremiah say it’s a place where people ask for help when they need it. Madison tells him that she needs it, and she’s asking. He says she’s hard to like. She says Troy threatened her family; he murdered people, and called it science. She says maybe they should know that. Jeremiah says if his people take umbrage at their presence, that’s on her. He tells he that he won’t let anyone drown without teaching them to swim.

Alone with Madison, Jake asks if Troy hurt her. She asks if he’s always been that way. Jake says he’ll take care of Troy, and she says he and his dad keep saying that. She thanks him for saving Alicia, and he says she saved him too. She asks if he’s worried about the helicopter. He tells her that it was probably a crackpot scavenger. Madison says she wants to meet whoever it is.

Alicia watches the horses. Nick asks her about riding, but she says she’s not ready. She tells him he’s invited to the Bible study. He asks if she wants to stay, and she says no. She tells him that what Madison said wasn’t fair, and he says she’s wrong. Alicia says that this is no time to form a conscience. He asks what happened to her, but she walks away.

Jake finds Troy fixing a fence. He tells Troy to stay away from Madison and her family. He promised them he’d protect them from him. He says he still believes in Troy, but if the ranch knew what he really is… Troy asks what is he? Jake says when dad’s gone, it’s on them; they’ll have to lead together. He needs Troy to stay away from the Clarks. Troy says he hears him. Jake asks if he means it, and Troy says he always does.

Gretchen and a couple of the teenagers take Alicia to an underground place in the middle of the forest. Gretchen tells everyone to get out their study materials. Alicia is handed a humongous bong. She says this isn’t what she expected. Nor would I. Everyone paraphrases Bible verses. Gretchen opens a metal drum and takes out a bird cage. It’s Geoff. Geoff is a head, and I don’t mean of the game. Everyone sits watching Jeff drool and rattle his teeth. Alicia starts to laugh. Alrighty then.

Madison watches outtakes from the video. It’s Jeremiah arguing with his wife, who’s half In the bag, and yelling at the kids. The cameraman tells him to let her go, and he says, shut your mouth. Jeremiah walks in, and says not his finest moment. Madison asks what happened to their mom. He says Troy’s mom. Jake’s mother was his first wife, who died…before. Madison says her father was a drunk, and it killed her. Jeremiah says that the second Mrs. Otto went downhill. Troy took care of her while he was busy selling buckets, and she resented him for it.

Victor and Dante have a drink and talk about old times. Dante assumes that Thomas didn’t make it, and Victor shakes his head. Dante says all Victor has now is his wit, charm, and a crunchy suede coat. Victor says don’t forget his good looks. Dante says it’s good to have him back, and they toast.

The kids pretend to communicate (or maybe they are) through Geoff. They tell Alicia that he wants to know what it’s like “out there.” She tells them that it changes you into something worse than Geoff. She asks who the Ottos are. One of the kids says that Jeremiah saw it coming, and made the place before he was born. Gretchen says Geoff was the first zombie they saw. She says he’s indifferent on the Ottos, except for Troy. She tells Alicia that Troy and the militia do what they can’t – protect them. Alicia tells them that you can’t depend on others; you have to handle your own sh*t. Gretchen says that Geoff wants to know what bad stuff she’s done out there, and Alicia says she killed a man. Gretchen asks how it felt, and she says easy.

Dante shows Victor around the dam he’s taken over. Two guys are about to throw someone off a very high wall. Dante tells Victor that the man used to be in a cartel, and there’s no room for such people. Dude is tossed off the wall and into a pile of zombies, who immediately jump all over him and start feasting. The guys grab Victor. Dante asks if he thinks they were friends in the old world. Back then, Victor wanted people’s land; now he wants Dante’s water. Victor says food, shelter, and a cocktail suffices, but Dante says nothing suffices; it’s not in Victor’s nature. Victor is held over the edge of the balcony. Victor says it’s only a matter of time before someone else takes it, and not him. He says Dante needs transport and guns, and men to guard them. Water is the new currency, and he can organize it. Dante asks how he can trust a thief, but Victor says he never stole from Dante. Dante says he stole from Thomas, and asks if Thomas died believing that Victor loved him. Victor says he did love Thomas, and nearly gets pushed over the wall. Dante says that Victor exploits everything he touches, and owes him a debt. He’s going to work it off, and he’ll feel like those he took from – powerless. Victor is led away. Yikes.

Nick watches an old couple dance on their patio. Troy approaches him, and asks if he wants to join a hunting party. He says they can catch scavengers sneaking around in the dark, and it’s more maintenance than hunting, more cultivating than killing. He tells Nick to get in and earn his keep. They drive away.

Madison is out walking. Jeremiah tells her that Nick went with Troy on a hunting trip. She says he’s a city boy who’s never even dealt with a gun (I dunno about that, since he was a heroin addict and lived on the streets), and asks how long it lasts. Jeremiah says a couple of hours to all night, and they’ll come back safe. Madison says that her daughter is finding God. Jeremiah offers her a cigarette. I see a T-shirt in my head: My daughter got offered a huge bong and all I got was a lousy cigarette. She tells Jeremiah that her kids never had any place to feel safe, and that Nick is an addict. She told him that if he left, she’d let him go, but here they are. Jeremiah says the things they do to their children, and the things they do to make up for it. He asks if she wants to know why he tolerates his son.

The hunting party has dogs. While I couldn’t care less about the people, now I have a pack of German Shepherds to worry about.

Jeremiah takes Madison under the house. It has steel shelving laden with supplies, and he calls it the pantry. He says some people think what’s happened is God’s vengeance, but he thinks it’s an opportunity for a new life and to make amends. The new world has a purpose, and nothing heals a family more than that. They’ll build something better than before, but it won’t be easy. He asks if her family is up for it, and she says absolutely.

Troy sees someone wandering. Nick ambushes him from behind, and throws him to the ground. Troy says the ground is soft, and he could dig a grave easily; probably no one would suspect him. Nick asks how long it will take him to turn, and he tells Nick that if he does it, to time it; the journal is in his pocket. Nick says he’s not a scientist, and asks Troy what’s wrong with him. Troy says that Newton stabbed own eye to understand nature of light, and he needs to know. Nick shoots, but the bullet hits next to Troy’s head. Nick takes the journal and starts to tear it up. They fight, and Nick laughs like the lunatic he’s becoming. Troy says he thinks they can be friends now, like the lunatic he already is.

Madison visits Luci, and says she should be sleeping. Luci thanks her for waiting for her to heal before they leave, and says that she’s sorry about Travis; he saved her life. Madison says he was a good man, much better than her. He saved them all, and they can’t throw it away. They survive at all costs now.

Alicia and crew return. Jake asks if they’re turning water into wine, and she says, praise Jesus. Ha-ha! A pig roast is happening, which is perfect for the munchies. Jake talks to Jeremiah. Jeremiah makes an announcement that they still haven’t heard anything back from the group that went out, and they have to be prepared. Troy is taking a party out, but they need volunteers. Several men volunteer, and Madison raises her hand. They all look at her. Why is that so weird? I guess they are really out of touch with what’s happening everywhere. Madison sits next to Troy. He says her kids are at another table. She says she knows.

Victor awaits his fate in a cell. Someone sets a flask on the ledge. He smells it, then drinks greedily. Daniel appears, and says he knew Victor would drink it all, and that Daniel had told him that he’d be his guardian angel.

Next time, Daniel tells Victor that he’ll rot in there, someone else gets dropped into the zombie pile, zombies on a bus, and what happened to Daniel.

#WhereIsOfelia

🏛 On The Real Housewives of Potomac, Karen arranged a trip to Bermuda so the girls could get to know one another better. Why? Every time I watch this show, I want to know them less. Gizelle insulted Monique in her interview, saying that she’s “educated” and Monique “can’t hold a candle to this.” Omg. Honestly, this is the worst bunch of women ever. I want to see Gizelle’s diploma. She couldn’t even think up a new tagline this time around, using the same one as last season – and this is only their second season. She’s so educated, she can’t even think up two different sentences. She also wore some very scary purple eye shadow (I think Crayola would call it red violet) that matched her dress. Is that what she meant by “this?” No, no, and no. The good news is that Ashley had success, both with the opening of her restaurant, and keeping her marriage together. Of course the whole girls trip was a disaster. I might start using the word “janky” though.

🏖 The Real Housewives of the OC returns on Monday, July 10th, at 9 pm.

PurpleCrayone

PurpleCrayon2

Jun5

June 4, 2017 – Return to Fear & Good-by to Amish

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Fear the Walking Dead

It’s ba-a-a-ack! Now if I can just remember everyone’s names.

Travis and company have been captured. They’re dragged past fields of rotting corpses, and are thrown into trucks. It’s some kind of military operation, or at least looks like one. They’re driven to a camp and are separated. Travis hears screams, and sees a guy getting a number written on his forehead. Travis is weighed and measured, and a number is written on his hand. He’s left in a supply room where there are a bunch of other people.

Travis sees Nick. Luci’s head rests on his shoulder. I’d better clarify that – her body is attached to it.

Travis sits next to Nick and tells him that his mother has been taken somewhere else. He asks about Chris, but Travis says nothing. Luci asks if he saw anyone at the border, but he says just the dead. Nick says he thought it was a refugee camp. Travis says they’ll get out of there – all of them.

Alicia and Madison look around the office they’ve been deposited in, but can’t find anything. A soldier brings some tea and introduces himself as Troy. He says they shouldn’t have been handled so roughly, but it was security protocol. He says that Travis is being processed. Madison tells him they’re looking for her son, Nick, and need his help. He wants to know why they came from Mexico, and Madison says a friend had a place there, and asks him to let them go. She says her son is out there alone, and if it was him, his mother would do anything to find him. Troy says his mother passed, and he doesn’t get lost much anyway.

Alicia asks what happens after they’re processed. Troy says they get supplies and off they go. Really? He leaves them.

Troy confers with some other soldiers. They look at forehead number guy’s eyes. He’s dead, but his foot begins to move. He’s chained to the wall and they right down some statistics. Troy goes to Travis and asks if he’s Mexican. He says no; he’s Māori, and Troy calls him a warrior. Nick asks where his mom and sister are, and Troy says they’re being processed. He says he’s not a savage, and tells them they give all the mercy they can offer to the sick and maimed.

Alicia waters a plant with the tea, and says they’re going to be killed. Madison says no, they’re being treated too well. Alicia gives her the tip of a bayonet she has stashed in her shoe. She tells Alicia she’ll get them out.

Another prisoner tells Travis that he can get them out, but he needs someone strong enough to back him. If Travis can get them out of the room, he can get them out of the compound. He sees a guy struggling with a soldier, saying please don’t, but the soldier shoots him.

Commercial break. They tell us that Fear the Walking Dead is brought to us by The Mummy, which I find amusing.

Chained zombie guy starts writhing against the chains. Travis asks the other prisoner how he’s getting them out of there, and I swear that he says something about cheese. He explains his plan, but he mumbles, and I have no clue what he told Travis. He says someone shot him, and they have zero options and time. Travis agrees to help. He watches the soldiers get testy with one another. One says they’re supposed to be out of there in 24-hours, and to hurry it up – it doesn’t matter how they get dead. He pulls a couple of guys out and shoots them.

Alicia and Madison nap. Troy makes notes. Madison wakes up, and he tells her the coffee is warm. This dude is way too smiley. She asks what he’s writing, and he tells her that he makes observations. She asks if they passed processing, and he says with flying colors. She asks about Travis and he says it’s different criteria. Troy says he’s not a bad person, and Madison tells him that no one said he wasn’t. She asks if Travis is dead, and says she loves him. Troy asks if she loves his life more than hers, and she says yes.

Notes are taken about the dead guys. Travis asks what’s up. A soldier says the infected have senses, and they’re doing this for everyone’s betterment. Travis says what they’re doing is pointless, and asks if the people understand what’s going on. The soldier says they’ve volunteered, and it’s for science. He asks if Travis hasn’t murdered anyone. He’s about to pull out another prisoner, when Travis says to take him instead. The soldier says that’s a first. I thought he just said they volunteered. While Travis is being chained, he whacks the guy, and everything goes nuts.

Madison asks what Troy wants. Troy says he can take them home. She asks about Travis, and he says the resources are limited. She asks if Travis is alive. Troy says if she comes, he will be. They hear a gunshot, and Troy runs out. The prisoners are escaping, and everyone is running. Travis faces the soldiers while Nick runs with Luci. They manage to get into a sewer pipe. Over by Travis, the prisoner who said he could get them out gets his throat cut.

Travis is brought back in. Gee, that went well. Troy asks what happened. A soldier says two of his got away, and one of theirs died. Troy says a tender moment between him and Madison was interrupted. He wants Travis kept safe. He says Travis is special, and treat him as such. Take him out back. “Out back” is never special, or even a good thing.

Nick has to stop. Luci says she’s slowing him down, and he says never, kissing her. He tells her that she has to live.

Troy goes back to the office, and Madison jumps out from behind the door. They struggle. Alicia comes out from behind the couch. Madison stabs Troy in the eye with a spoon. She tells him he’ll lose the eye if he moves. That’s actually an amazing move. Was she with the Navy SEALS or something before the apocalypse? She tells Alicia to go find out what’s happening.

Alicia goes outside. Travis and Luci continue on. Planes fly overhead. Nick gets to the end of the tunnel. It’s blocked, but he gets it open – and confronts a horde of zombies. He and Lucy run back.

A soldier explains the experiments to Travis. Some kind of nonsense with statistical differences between the dead and the undead. Travis is led to a pit where there are zombies milling around. They throw him in. The only thing worse than a zombie is a bored zombie.

Madison takes Troy outside. She’s got him in a hold with one arm, and with the other, is still gripping the spoon in his eye. He tells her that she’s going to be dead, but yells to the others to back off. In the pit, Travis cracks a few zombies in the head. For a pacifist, he’s pretty good at this. In the meantime, Alicia tries to break into a car. Travis pikes some zombies with a metal rod he’s found. When he loses that, he punches them out. A cinderblock also comes in handy. The head soldier says he’s impressed, but Travis should save his strength – he’ll need it. He unleashes more zombies.

Madison says she thought Troy was going to let him go. Troy’s brother, Jake, approaches, telling Madison to release Troy. He says Troy knows he brought this on himself. Madison says she wants her family. Jake says if she lets Troy go, he’ll find her family. She releases Troy, and whacks him when he tries to grab her. Jake asks where her family is.

Nick and Luci hide, but we can hear the zombies close by. Alicia hears Nick, and looks through a vent to see him struggling with a zombie. She throws a weapon down, and Luci kills the zombie. Alicia is taken away by two guys, and Nick sees Madison with some soldiers, who tell the others to let Travis out. Travis rushes Troy, but Madison says he’s safe now. Alicia and Chris show up. Everything is cool for five seconds.

Commercial break. Valerian looks awesome!

Jake says he wishes Travis would reconsider; it’s a sanctuary. Troy was doing experiments on his own, and Jake says it won’t happen again. Madison says they want their guns back. She thanks Travis. She cleans his face with a washcloth, and says she’s sorry. She’s here and his family is here. He says he’s okay now; he’s with her.

Troy’s brother tells him get in, get the fuel, get out. He says Troy has killed innocent people, and Troy says they were going to die anyway. Jake smacks him, and asks, who is he to decide that? He asks what Troy has learned. That would be nothing. Troy leaves. As he’s walking out, he looks proudly at the blood stains on the “lab” wall.

A soldier walks through a corridor and hears a noise from behind the wall. He puts his ear to the wall and listens. He looks through the vent, but can’t see, so he removes it. About a thousand rats drop out. Then a zombie pulls him toward the vent opening. Suddenly, he gets sucked through it like it was a hole in a flying airplane.

Jake begs Madison to stay. She asks him for the car keys. They hear gunshots, and see zombies walking out of one of the buildings. Madison runs to get Travis, saying they have to go now. Suddenly, there are zombies everywhere. Madison is surrounded. Nick runs to help her while she’s slicing and dicing. Jake lands a helicopter, and they pile in, but Madison and Nick are still fighting the zombies. Troy shoots at the zombies, and Madison and Nick run to his truck. The helicopter takes off. A few zombies hang from it. Madison and Tavis look at each other. I’m driving myself crazy, because since the beginning of this show, I’ve wanted to call Nick “Chris,” and I keep typing it.

Everyone clears out from the compound. A caravan of trucks hits the road. The helicopter flies off.

Part Two

In the helicopter, Luci asks for Nick, and Alicia says she’ll see him soon. Bullets start coming through the helicopter windows. Travis is shot in the neck. It’s hard to put pressure on a wound when you’re passing out. The helicopter starts to go down. Travis opens the door. Jake tells him to stay in his seat. They start to nosedive. Alicia holds Travis in, but sees how badly he’s hurt, and lets him fall. Then she calls after him like we didn’t see what we just saw. Well, my mouth is hanging open.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, people are swarming at the gate. They say they know there’s a doctor in there. Elena says she’s sorry; they have nothing for them. One of them grabs her by the hair, and holds her head to against the gate. Victor approaches, and says he can provide medical care; he’s a doctor. Elena is let go, and the people look hopeful. Victor says he’s injured, but can’t let them suffer. He tells Elena to let them have her empty rooms to heal and recover.

Jake tells Alicia that Luci is as stable as she’s going to get, and whoever shot them might still be out there. He tells her for what it’s worth, she did the right thing. She wonders if Travis survived (oh come on), but Jake says he’s gone. He says knows the mountains and can get them home. He tells her that Travis would want that, but Alicia snaps that he doesn’t know what Travis would want.

Troy listens to Insane Clown Posse or Rammstein or something. Madison looks like she has a headache, and he turns it off. The caravan approaches what was once a ranch. The guard says Jake hasn’t been there and is overdue. Troy tells the others to get out of the truck and wait. A guard closes the gate. Gee, thanks for the ride to we-don’t-know- where.

Nick says tat they should backtrack and find the others. Madison says they could end up running in circles, or they could get themselves killed. Nick asks what the plan is if it’s just the two of them. Madison tells Nick to hug his mother, and he feels the gun in her waistband. She says they need to bring their family together and stop anyone who gets in their way.

Victor pulls a bullet out of somebody’s leg. Victor ponders. He’s asked to come, a woman’s water just broke. He thinks they should just let nature take its course, and says he’s not a baby doctor. The husband gets angry and asks why he’s been allowed to treat them. Victor agrees the deliver the baby, and tells everyone to get out, except Nurse Elena.

Madison says most of the people there are civilians. Nick says they don’t need them, but Madison says his girlfriend does. He says fine, but then they go. He isn’t sure what he’ll do if he has to stay longer. A rancher gives Madison a cup of coffee. He says he heard her husband over the helicopter radio, and tells her that sometimes a helicopter sets down in bad weather. He asks if she knows of any reason Travis might have taken the helicopter, but she says he’d want their daughter to get there safely. The rancher says he had to ask. His son and goddaughter are on there too. Madison says she put a spoon in his other son’s eye, making me laugh, and the rancher says that he’s lucky it wasn’t a fork, making me laugh again. He introduces himself as Joseph, and welcomes them to the ranch, opening the gate. Nick tells Madison it’s not safe. He says he doesn’t trust these people, but she tells him to trust her.

Joseph says they were already there, off the grid, before the world ended, and the rise of the dead caught them by surprise. He says they’re self-sustaining, and Madison points out that they’re also armed. He says he heard Troy’s side of it, and Nick asks if he wants to hear theirs. Joseph says he’ll hear everything when Jake gets back. He tells them it’s the safest place to be, and most people would be grateful to be there. He shows them to a bunkhouse, and tells them where the facilities are. Madison thanks him.

After he leaves, Nick loudly says his son’s a murderer, and Madison tells him to lower his voice. She asks if he wants to start a war with all of them – then he’ll see murder. Nick says it’s his fault, leading them to that place, and he has to do something. Madison says no, he doesn’t. Right now, they’re going to eat sh*t, smile, and bide their time. She wants to save them all too, but he has to help. Nick says he’s not sitting by while they sharpen their knives, and walks out.

Jake builds a fire, and says he’ll take first watch. Alicia asks what will happen with Luci when they get back, and expresses concern about Troy. Jake says they’ll keep an eye on him. He explains how Troy had been like this since he was young, and says you make allowances for those you love. Alicia says she made allowances for her brother, and it almost got him killed. They hear something, and Jake stomps out the fire.

Jake gives Alicia a gun. He tells her to stay put until he gets back. If he doesn’t, get the others to the ranch. He walks out into the dark. He looks around, and then stumbles down a small cliff. He quickly finds his gun, and hears the sounds of zombies eating. He shines the flashlight into a zombie face. It comes after him, and he whacks at it with the flashlight, trying to deal with his gun. It’s about an inch from his neck, when a shot rings out and it drops. Another one takes its place, and we see Alicia at the top of the cliff. She shoots that one too. Jake is pretty freaked. He asks for the gun, and tells Alicia to find her way back quickly. He has to take care of it before more come.

Alicia goes back, and Jake sees that the zombies were eating his co-pilot. Alicia hears a gunshot.

The baby is being named after Victor. Elena says he calmed the people, but his lie is now theirs. If the people turn on him, they’ll turn on them too. She says he has to go. On foot. Before he leaves, Hector says there’s a woman who has lost her senses, a poor woman who refuses food. He gives Victor a plate, and tells him to convince her to eat. He goes into the room and says he brought food. It looks like Marie Antoinette moonlighting as a stripper lives here. Loads of dishes with dainty sweets on them, and boxes of frilly accessories. Victor sees a mannequin, and is about to touch it, when a woman pops out of nowhere. He recognizes Ilene, and says he was sent there to treat her. She apologizes for stabbing him, and says she was distraught and hopeless. He tells her to get some fresh air in the room, and tries to open the balcony door, but it’s stuck. He says he can’t stay there, but has nowhere to go, and no way to get him there.

Victor finally gets the door open, and Ilene thanks him. He tells her about the woman in labor, and how he delivered a baby. He says it was terrifying. If the child lives, it’s a new generation and might give them a reason to hope. Ilene asks where he’d go if he left, and he says he has a place in mind. She takes something out of a pocket, and gives it to him. She says it was supposed to be a wedding gift, but it’s the least she can do for what she did. He opens what looks like a jewelry case, and thanks her. She thanks him for freeing her little girl.

Ilene tells Victor that there are no more generations, and jumps off the balcony.

Jake polishes his gun. Alicia tells him that she’s sorry. Luci is unconscious, and Alicia can’t get her to wake up. Jake says they’ll be at the ranch in a few hours. He tells her that it’s a terrible world. Did he just figure this out?

The guard at the ranch sees Jake coming, and the gate is opened. Madison hugs Alicia while Luci is being tended to. She wonders where Travis is, but Alicia doesn’t say anything. Madison sees her face, and says, no. Nick runs to Lucy and creepy Troy walks around smiling. He says Luci isn’t going to make it, so she doesn’t go to the infirmary. Nick says that it’s Troy’s fault, and Troy says he’d do it again. Troy says she’ll turn, and is about to shoot her. Nick tells Troy that he’ll do it, but Troy says no. For whatever reason, he relents, and gives Nick the gun. Chris points the gun at Troy, and the others draw their guns. Nick tells them to let her in, and Troy says that’s not how they do things. Madison tells Nick to stop, and he says not this time. Joseph steps between Nick and Troy, and asks for the gun. Nick says he can’t let Luci die. Joseph says if she has a pulse, they’ll let her in, but he has to give him the gun. Madison says to give it to him, and Nick hands the gun over. Joseph tells them to take Luci to the infirmary, and the show’s over. Madison tells Alicia to get herself checked out. She stands alone for a moment, fighting back tears, before walking back in. The gate closes.

Madison cries under a tree. Joseph finds her. She tells him she’s not well. He says after his first wife left, he drank a lot of JD and Coke, and had many a bad morning. She asks why he’s there. He tells her that after someone has this kind of loss, sometimes they take matters into their own hands, and these days, it presents another set of problems. Part of his job is to make sure she’s not a danger to herself or anyone else. She says it’s too soon to tell. Joseph says it looks like they’re missing a Beretta from the fuel truck, and asks if she borrowed it. If she did, she has to sign it out like a library book. She signs the ledger. He tells her he’s sorry for her loss. Madison says he was a good man, and Joseph says he believes it, being with a woman like her. I like Joseph.

Nick watches Luci. Alicia comes in, and he thanks her for getting Luci back. He asks if she’s okay, and hugs her. She cries.

Victor unlocks a car in the parking garage. He takes the cover off, saying it’s his style and color. I call it fancy black car, because I know diddly about cars.

Alicia and Nick find Madison, who insists she’s okay. She says Nick asked if she has a plan, and she does. They’re going to stay there, and make it their home, even if they have to take it over. She says it’s their fate. They suffered to get there, and Travis died; they have to accept it. She wants to know how it happened, and asks Alicia to tell her everything about how Travis died. We see the family in a tableau.

This season, there will be lots of zombies, but Nick says the monster there is worse than the one outside.

🐎 Sadly, it was the Return to Amish finale tonight. I’ve been having the best time watching it; I hate to see it go. To end the season, the group took a trip to Las Vegas. Supposedly as a honeymoon for Jeremiah and Carmella, who haven’t had a night without her children since they began their relationship, which sounds like as good an excuse as any. Having broken her ankle slipping on some ice a few days before, Mary didn’t let it interfere with her fun, and got around on a scooter. She had her picture taken with a couple of Chippendales dancers, did some gambling, and got her drink on. Jeremiah and Carmella renewed their vows, dressed as a cowboy and Native American princess, while Elvis officiated. Everyone had a day at the salon beforehand, where, true to filterless form, Sabrina suggested that in lieu of a Brazilian wax, Mary start a trend called the “buggy trail,” causing fits of hysterical laughter. The best part was seeing Rebecca and Sabrina make up, and at least for the moment, everyone being a family again. It also did Mary’s heart a world of good. Sadly, there was no happy ending for much of the cast, according to the end blurbs. Jeremiah and Carmella have separated, Chester is on the verge of being shunned because Mary is having too much fun, and although they didn’t say it in these words, it sounded like Sabrina may have relapsed, but still fighting the good fight about her children. I hope they come back for another season or retitled show to figure it out. Abe tells us that at the end of the day, they’re family, which is one of the things that makes this show attractive. Even though they’re not all related by blood, the dynamics are very much like a family, and everyone wants to be heard. After Sabrina and Rebecca finally talk like grown women, Rebecca is surprised to find they’re both on the same page, just wanting their feelings to be validated – or as Sabrina puts it, treat each other “human.” While there might be contrived moments, these people impress me as very real. It’s been a delight to get a glimpse into their corner of the world, which is really not all that different.

 

 

Apr3

April 3, 2017 – Agrabah is Found, Rick is Found Out & a Coupla Wives Notes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

I’m not sure why, but I almost typed One Day at a Time. I must be having 70s TV flashbacks.

David paces as he processes that Hook killed his father. Emma tells him that she and Hook had a fight, and Hook left town.

The Nautilus speeds through the ocean. It goes out of control, and the crew is tossed all over the place. Nemo says they portalled into another realm. Hook says they have to go back to Storybrooke, but they need Kraken blood and Gideon used the last of it. I hate when that happens. Hook says they’re going hunting.

Jasmine and Aladdin are still looking for Agrabah. Aladdin insists it’s not there in the Enchanted Forest. He thinks they should just make a new home in Storybrooke, but Jasmine says sorry, she can’t. He tries to kiss her, and it’s a no. A ring falls out of her pocket, and she thinks the wish gave her a reminder of how she’s failed. She knows what she has to do.

Many years ago, in Agrabah, Jasmine’s father is offering a dowry, but she says there will be no engagement today. The king says he knows she wants to marry for love, but she has to think of duty; she needs a prince with an army. She says she’s already found a prince – Aladdin. Jafar pops in and says that Aladdin is a loser. He takes out a vial of sand, and tosses some of it at a potential suitor. He disappears, poof! in a puff of burgundy smoke. Jafar says the only way to save the kingdom is for Jasmine to marry him, but she says that’s not happening. He says if she doesn’t marry him by sundown, Agrabah will be destroyed.

In present time, Aladdin and Jasmine row across a lake. He reminds her that they can’t swim. Giant tentacles come out of the water, and they bat at them with the oars. You wouldn’t think this would be very effective, but an oar gets stuck in the creature’s mouth and it disappears. Hook rises out of the water on the Nautilus. He tells them to climb aboard before they get themselves killed.

David and Emma are interrupted by Regina who suggests that she, Emma and Snow have a ladies’ night out. I guess the curse is still going on because David goes home to trade places with Snow. Regina hears me and says she’s working on it.

Hook tells Jasmine and Aladdin that now he has no way to get back home, so thanks a lot. He says they could give him one of their wishes, but Aladdin says it won’t work. Jasmine says Jafar took Agrabah, but she can’t face him again. He took everything she cared about, and she’s afraid of him. She says they can’t find him anyway, but Hook says that’s not true; Jafar has revenge in his heart. He’s heard Jafar is handy with traveling between realms, and with any luck, they can all get back home. He tells Jasmine that she doesn’t have to face him alone this time. She says perhaps Agrabah has found its hero.

Emma goes through a box of treasures, and takes out a ring on a chain. Henry asks if she’s okay. Her phone rings, and she says she’s on her way. She tells Henry they’ll talk later.

Emma goes to the bar, Aesop’s Fables, and meets Regina and Snow, who tricked her into coming. Snow suggests she try an artisanal drink.

Jasmine asks if it helps Hook to stare at the sea. He says he never thought he’d live anywhere else, but every moment he stays there is killing him. He says it’s tough when the person you love doesn’t know how you feel. She agrees, and says she’s made some terrible mistakes in failing her people. She doesn’t think she deserves love. Hook says he was like that, and realized that hiding behind the guilt is the coward’s way. Jasmine says maybe she’s always been a coward.

Back in the day, Jasmine strolls through the market. A man chases a thief. She runs after them, thinking it’s Aladdin. The man takes the thief’s necklace, thinking he’s getting a bonus, and the thief turns into mermaid Ariel. Jasmine tells the man to give the necklace back to her and get lost. She gives the necklace back to Ariel, who says she didn’t have to do that. Jasmine says Agrabah is her city, and she doesn’t like guests treated poorly. I guess we’re ignoring the fact that Ariel stole something to begin with. Ariel says she’s’ looking for a prince. Jasmine asks if he has an army, and Ariel says he has a navy. Jasmine asks if she’s afraid of heights.

Jasmine and Ariel fly around on a magic carpet. Ariel looks through a small telescope, and sees her prince’s flag. Jasmine says let’s find him and save the city.

On the Nautilus, Aladdin asks Hook where Jasmine is, but Hook tells him he needs to concentrate on the maps he’s reading. Aladdin acts like he’s in middle school, asking Hook if he thinks Jasmine likes him. Hook repeats that he has to focus, but suddenly, the Nautilus is jarred. Nemo enters, saying that the Kraken’s damage was worse than they thought, and they’re taking on water. Hook says they’ve stalled. Jasmine joins them, and holds out the lamp. She says she wants to go to the island. They all disappear. No poof! or smoke or anything though.

Regina asks Emma how she feels. Snow calls out some Vikings for leaving the bar without paying. She has a wager; they play darts, and the loser pays both tabs. Emma says she knows Regina wants her to open up, but she’d rather be distracted, and this is a good one.

Aladdin wonders what the price for the wish will be. Hook has to leave, and says good-by to his brother and Nemo. He, Aladdin, and Jasmine leave to find Jafar. They’re led to a hut in the forest, and Hook says he didn’t think that Jafar would be in an off-season tiki bar. Aladdin says it looks like a museum, and Jasmine wonders who needs so many corkscrews. Hook explains the frustration of a cork not coming out of the bottle correctly. Jasmine picks up a vial of red sand that she’s seen before. They think they’re in Jafar’s lair, but it’s Ariel walks in. She tells them welcome to Hangman’s Island. She says she and Jasmine go way back, and Jasmine says she needs Ariel’s help again.

Way back when, the carpet lands. Ariel thinks Eric won’t remember her, but Jasmine says if she misses another chance, shell regret it forever. She says Ariel comes from a world that’s all water, and now she’s in the desert being all strong; she deserves whatever her heart desires.

Jasmine goes into a tent and sees Eric. He thought she changed her mind, but she says she was just scared. She tells him that she hopes he can accept her for who she is, or at least who she is in the water. He says he was bored with regular girls, and he has a love for her people, especially poached with capers. We’re all like, did he just say what we thought he did? and he turns into Jafar. Jasmine says he’s not her hero, but Jafar says it looks like he’s coming to her aid. He tells her time has run out, and she’s going to marry him.

Moving forward, Hook suggests they set the genie free if he gives them what they want. Jasmine can’t believe she’s going to face Jafar on purpose. He appears, poof! in a puff of khaki smoke. He thanks them for his freedom, and knocks everyone out except Jasmine. He wonders if things will work out better for her this time.

Ariel is up and around again, and Jasmine thinks they should look for someone with the heart of hero. Ariel says she stole something she thinks is magic. Jasmine says it’s a weapon, and it’s terrible. Ariel says she can do this. Jafar says he needs an answer. He poofs Ariel back to the sea, and threatens to destroy Agrabah. Jasmine says for the good of Agrabah, she’ll be his wife. He tells her that this is the moment she truly fails her people. He didn’t want to marry her or rule that grimy place. He says they loath him, and he’ll wipe them off the face of the earth. She says that she gave him the ring so that he wouldn’t harm them. He says if she’d stayed strong, he wouldn’t have been able to harm them, but thanks to her weakness, he can. He says he’s taking it beyond mankind’s grasp. Agrabah disappears.

Jasmine says Jafar has already taken everything. He says he has no more business with her, but with the ones who trapped him. He tells her to bring better people next time. She says they’re all heroes, and they think she is too. She asks where Agrabah is. Jafar says the answer amuses him, and he wonders why she can’t see it’s at her fingertips. She says the first wish worked, and she sees a tiny Agrabah in the ring. Jafar says it’s as she left it, except smaller. He asks for the ring, but she won’t give it to him. She holds up the vial, and asks if it looks familiar. He tries to take the ring, and she throws the vial at him, and he disappears poof! in a puff of magenta smoke. When the smoke clears, he’s a walking stick.

Meanwhile, back at the bar, Aesop the bartender (although he prefers mixologist) gives Emma some drink ideas. He talks about story writing and lost love, and she relates. She thought Hook would stick through things no matter what, but when things got tough, he took off. Aesop gives her a napkin to dry her tears. She tells Snow and Regina that she needs to move on.

Jasmine tells Hook she’s sorry she couldn’t help him get home. He says maybe someone in Agrabah can. She explains that it’s in the ring. He asks if she doesn’t want to use the last wish to bring it back. She says if she was to use it, it would be to free Aladdin. Her father told her that duty comes before love, but she finally realized that the way to get Agrabah back is the kind of magic thatc ould break any curse. She kisses Aladdin, and poof! the city returns. Hook is impressed. Aladdin calls Jasmine a hero.

Hook takes out the Jafar stick. Ariel says she’s sure he’ll find someone to help him. She gives him a shell, and says they can get a signal to Storybrooke if someone is there to pick it up. He says he has one just like it at home.

Emma gets back and hears a rumbling from her treasure box. It’s Hook calling shell to shell. He says he didn’t mean to leave, and Gideon sent him away. He’d never leave her, but Gideon wanted him out of the way. He’s trying to get home, and won’t stop until he does. He loves her. She says she loves him too, but he doesn’t hear it.

Aesop walks up to Emma with the napkin in his hand, saying that as long as he holds the tears of the Savior, Hook can’t hear her. She should be careful where she leaves them. Emma says he’s not Aesop, and sure enough, he turns into Gideon. He tells her that he needs her help. She says not in a helping mood. He says love makes us do things we didn’t know possible, and Hook will stay where he is unless she helps him.

She has to do the one thing he could never do – kill the Black Fairy.

Next time, Emma says she won’t help Gideon, Gold says all darkness comes from the Black Fairy, and we go back to Neverland where there’s a giant spider!

The Walking Dead

♫ Easy street! ♫ Just kidding. Sasha listens to some blues on an iPod. She hears someone tell her to wake up. It’s Abe. They kiss. He says he’s all kinds of glad to see her. She asks if he’s back, and he says not yet. He tells her that Maggie is in trouble. She tells him not to go.

IRL, Negan tells Sasha welcome to the first day of the rest of her life, and bears some food. He says she’s going to help him get things back on track. He says he doesn’t want to see her die, so she doesn’t have to. Someone does, but not her. They’re going to help solve some sh*t. He gives her pancakes with a smiley face in berries on them. She asks what he needs from her.

Rick asks Dwight why, and he says he wants it stopped; he wants Negan dead, adding that they’re all Negan. Tara says the girl he murdered had a name. Her name was Denise, and she was a doctor who helped people. He says he wasn’t aiming for her. Daryl grabs him, and puts a knife in his face. Dwight tells him go ahead. Michonne doesn’t think they can trust him. Dwight says what he did, he was doing for someone else. Now he’s here, and so is Daryl, because of her. Tara encourages Daryl to kill Dwight, but Dwight says if they work together, they can stop them. Daryl knows he’s not lying. Daryl pulls back with the knife.

Rosita says they have Sasha. She doesn’t trust Dwight, but trusts Daryl. Rick says Negan is coming tomorrow. Dwight says he can slow them down by blocking the road with some trees, and buy time for them to get ready. If they can take them out, that’s where they start. He’ll radio back to the Sanctuary where Negan lives, telling them everything is okay. They drive the trucks back, get the workers on their side, go from outpost to outpost, and build an army.

Daryl tells Rick that if Dwight is lying, he’ll kill him slow. Rick says if he’s lying, this is already over.

In the alternate reality, Abe tells Sasha that he has to go. She tells him she had a dream that he died.

Negan tells Sasha that’s the plan. When she comes out, they’ll stand down, if they haven’t already. Lucille will have her say, and they’ll move forward with a new understanding. Sasha sheds a tear, and he asks if that’s for real. She says no one has to die, and he says you can’t do anything without punishment; it’s how they built everything they have. She repeats that no one has to die. Negan suggests just one then. He was going to pull three out, but just one and just for her. She agrees. Negan says she has him wrapped around her finger, and if she had a d*ck, he’d still feel the same way.

Maggie says they don’t have Oceanside, but they have the guns. She doesn’t trust Dwight. She says if Negan figures things out, they’ll need help. Jesus says it’s a tough decision, but he’s glad she’s the one making it. Enid gives her the pocket watch that Maggie’s father gave to Glenn.

Carol and some of the Kingdom knights come across a blockade of shopping carts, and Morgan wandering around. Carol asks if he wants to ambush them on his own. She says if he kills anyone, they might lose their advantage. Ezekiel asks if he seeks to extinguish everything he was. Morgan says he doesn’t seek it, but he’s stuck. Ezekiel asks if he wants the Saviors dead. He does. Ezekiel says that the Saviors are a dragon with many heads, and they have to seek allies. He asks Morgan to join them. He asks if Morgan wears Ben’s breastplate to honor him or for himself. He tells Morgan to fight with them; the Saviors will be defeated, so no one will suffer under them again. Ezekiel, Shiva/Sheba/Shoo-be-doo-be-doo, and the others move ahead. Morgan follows.

Rick and company roll out with a bunch of trucks and bicycles. The Scavengers are with them. Jadis asks Michonne if Rick is hers. Michonne thinks they should get back to work. Stupidest. Scene. Ever. And Jadis is not understandable half the time.

Aaron, Daryl, and Rosita put together some bombs.

Negan and his dudes find the tree blockade. Eugene asks if he could have the opportunity to slow their jets and cool their roll [sic].

The Alexandrians prepare for battle along with the Scavengers. One of the Scavenger chicks says “we win” to Michonne, because they talk like three-year-olds.

Sasha listens to more music, and says you know how this is gonna end. Abe tells her they’re going to walk out the door together, kick sh*t, and eat snakes. She wants to sit this one out. She tells him they were at the beach and he got pulled under. He didn’t come back up, and she was trying to find him, but he was gone and she started to drown. He says he hates the beach, and talks about getting sand where it shouldn’t be. I relate. He tells her, lets go help Maggie. Sasha says just once sit one out. She says Maggie’s gotta take care of Maggie.

Eugene says Sasha must have changed her mind about dying. He tells her she’ll adjust, but she says she’s not like him. He says if people die today it’s because of the choices they’ve made.

There are intermittent scenes of Sash and Maggie sitting on a wall. I’m sure they’ll be significant later. Sasha asks Maggie why they’re there.

The lookout alerts Rick. Rick tells Rosita to get in position and he’ll signal. They wait. They hear Eugene over the bullhorn saying all points are covered. He gets out of the truck, and says hello to Rick through the bullhorn, and I laugh because he’s not that far from Rick at this point. Eugene says the bottom line is they might die, but he hopes not. He says the jig is up, and asks if Rick will comply. Jadis looks at Rick. Rick asks where Negan is. Eugene says he’s Negan. I understand the face rick makes. Sort of amused and disgusted at the same time. He gives the signal, Rosita presses the button, everyone ducks, and nothing happens. The Scavengers aim guns at the Alexandirans and open the gate. Bastards!

Dwight comes out of the truck with Negan. The actual Negan. I guess we don’t know if he was sincere or not. Jadis holds a gun on Rick. Michonne sees what’s going on, and that same Scavenger chick says,” we win” again. Well, sh*t.

Negan asks if he’s heard the one about the guy named Rick who thought he knew sh*t, but didn’t, and got everyone killed. Rick says he and Jadis had a deal, but she says she got a better one. Negan says he’s pushed, pushed, and pushed him. He just tried to blow them up. He says Eugene is one of his, and he stepped up. They’re a bunch of animals. The universe gives them a sign, and Rick shoves his finger up its ass. Negan certainly has a way with words. He tells Dwight and Simon, chop-chop.

They uncover a coffin. Everyone is like wth? They stand the coffin up. Negan says they must like Sasha, and so does he. He has her there, packaged for their convenience, alive and well. He brought her, so he wouldn’t have to kill all of them, but that might be complicated. He wants all their guns, every one of them, and a person of their own choosing for Lucille. He also wants Daryl back. And the pool table. Or Sasha dies. And then all of them. He says just because he brought Sasha in a casket, doesn’t mean she has to leave in it. He tells Rick that he sucks. Rick asks to see Sasha.

Negan opens the casket saying she’s not going to believe this.

Sasha tells Abe it felt real. Like they lost, but it’s just starting. He kisses her. He tells her to come on, and she says wait. He says he likes the way she calls bullsh*t, so let him return the favor. She’s going to tell him to stay and she’ll go. She wants to make up for what she said about Maggie. He tells her it’s always for someone else, and if they’re going to kick, there had better be a point to it. No matter where they are, Maggie is carrying the future. Sasha tells him that he’s right. He says putting yourself on the line for someone else, oh my, that is living. She laughs. They leave together.

We backtrack to before Sasha got in the coffin. Eugene walks out with Sasha. He says they could be watching the roads. He gives her an iPod, saying he wished he measured up. She says he still can, and she hasn’t given up on him. Sasha tells Negan that she can use a nap, and just give her a bottle of water. He says he knows this is tough, and appreciates it. She gets in the coffin, and he tells her that she’s something else.

Sasha looks at something – I couldn’t see what it was – and listens to the music. She takes the pill that Eugene gave her.

Negan opens the coffin and it’s zombie Sasha! She goes after Negan, and all hell breaks loose with everyone running around and shooting. Michonne and the Scavenger fight. Rosita is shot, but Tara gets her out of there. Jadis holds a gun on Rick. Sasha continues to try and bite Negan’s face off. Someone pulls her off of him, so she bites that guy’s face off. Rick tells Jadis they can make another deal, and she answers by shooting him, and then pushing him off him off the platform they’re standing on.

More shooting. Michonne is getting her head bashed in, and Jadis has Rick hostage. All kinds of dead people are lying around, who are going to be zombies any second. Jadis acts like a big a-hole, pushing Rick around. She brings him to Negan.

Michonne pushes a broken piece of pottery into the Scavenger’s neck. Jadis tells Rick to get down on his knees, and puts him next to Carl. Negan says that RIck had to go with these filthy garbage people, no offense. He and Jadis look at each other, and she says something stupid. He tells Rick that this is going to make him sad and wish he was dead. Negan says, he’d want a kid like Rick’s, which makes this harder. He tells Carl it’s over. Michonne continues to fight with Scavenger. Rick looks around, and sees someone fall from a balcony, thinking it’s Michonne. I highly doubt Carl is a goner. There will be huge protests of Tiger Beat readers. Is that still a magazine?

Negan says that Rick just lost someone important, and he chose this. This isn’t a warning now, it’s punishment. He’s going to kill Carl with one nice hard swing because he likes him. Then Lucille is going to take Rick’s hands. Rick says he can take his hands, but he already told him he’s going to kill him; maybe not today or tomorrow, but nothing is going to change that. Nothing. He’s already dead. Negan twitches a little. Then smiles. He says, damn, wow, okay.

Negan goes to take a swing at Carl’s head, when Shiva comes out of nowhere, knocking him sideways. I applaud. Here comes Ezekiel with the troops. He says Alexandria will not fall; not on this day. Shiva eats Negan, or somebody. Horses and knights and guns, oh my! Nope, the tiger didn’t eat Negan. Morgan joins in the fray. Negan runs out of bullets. Shiva gets busy flattening people. This is really good!. It also comes to my attention that Jadis has highlights, which seems odd for a garbage person, but also reminds me that I need a hair appointment.

The Scavengers throw Molotov cocktails using soda cans. Everyone runs. The smoke begins to clear. Ezekiel says we finish this, and some of them run after the Saviors. Maggie is there too. Negan gives the finger as they drive away. Ha-ha! The gate closes. The Saviors are gone – for now.

Rick finds the Scavenger who had been fighting with Michonne dead on the ground. Michonne is all bloody, but alive. Rick is pretty happy about that. She says, we, we, we, and Rick says, we are, we will, and kisses the one spot that isn’t bruised. Michonne, Rick, and Carl form a tableau.

Back at Neganland, Negan looks at Eugene, wondering how Sasha ended up dead. Eugene thinks she ran out of air. Negan gets close to his face and says, maybe. He announces that they’re going to war, and everyone goes, yeah!

Maggie goes down Memory Lane with Rick, talking about how she made the right decision to come. She says the decision was made a long time ago. They were strangers and now mean the world to each other. She says Glenn didn’t know them, but put himself in danger for them, and that started it all from the farm to the prison to Alexandria, to this moment, not as strangers, but as family. As she talks, we see all of the characters interacting with one another. Daryl takes a little carved soldier out of the coffin, which I assume was what Sasha had been looking at. It says didn’t know on the back of it. Neither do I. Maggie says that because Glenn chose to be with him on that day, it was the decision that changed everything. It started with them, and grew; all of them to sacrifice for each other.

We see Maggie and Sasha sitting on the wall, smiling at each other, as Maggie continues. To suffer, to stand, to grieve, to give, to love, to live, to fight for each other. Glenn made the decision; she was just following his lead. We see Glenn’s watch in her hand.

Tonight’s show was in memory of Bernie Wrightson, an original creator of DC’s Swamp Thing, an illustrator, and creator of other wondrous creatures.

The Walking Dead will be back in October.

👠 I saw enough of The Real Housewives of Atlanta to see Phaedra get “Porshafied,” which apparently means wearing a wig and having your bosoms fall out of your dress. Another thing I caught was Sheree and Kenya bonding. The sad part was how they were relating over the aggressiveness of the men in their lives.

🏛 The jury is still out for the new season of The Real Housewives of Potomac. I’m just catching it now. For whatever reason, they decided to show triple the Atlanta and wait until the wee hours of the morning to rerun this one. A girl has to sleep sometime.

Apr1

March 31, 2017 – Valentin Agrees to Help Jason, the Weird World of V.C. Andrews & Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Elizabeth wonders why Franco is asking her to marry him right now. He says why not?

Jason asks Valentin for a favor, telling him that it’s about Jake. He explains that Jake spent the better part of four years with Helena, and he’s trying to find out what she did to him.

Lulu sees Nelle at Kelly’s and introduces herself. Nelle asks if Lulu is going to tell her off. Lulu says what happened is none of her business, and it’s not her place to judge, but she’d like to talk about her daughter, Charlotte.

Alexis enters a dark house. Her phone rings, but when she answers, she gets a dial tone. It rings again, and she asks if it’s Julian. It’s Sam, who is wearing an awesome white swing top with thumbhole sleeves. Sam wonders why Alexis called her Julian, and Alexis says old habits die hard. Sam wants to come by, but Alexis says she’ll come over to Sam’s house.

Sonny tells Michael about the break up with Carly. He says she’s mad as hell and called it quits. Michael says sorry, and Sonny says he doesn’t seem like it. Michael says he’s not exactly in shock. Now that things have settled down, there are no distractions. Losing Morgan could have brought them together or torn them apart, and they decided on the latter. Sonny says he didn’t want this, but Michael says it’s happening.

Lulu asks if Nelle has a minute. Since they’ll be seeing one another, they might as well get to know each other. Nelle was picking up scones for Charlotte’s birthday breakfast, since they’re her favorite. She thinks they remind Charlotte of her mom.

Laura tells Doc about the upcoming trip. He says that he’s not sure what surprises him more, the trip itself or that she’s going with Tracy. He asks if Luke is in jail again, and Laura says that would be amusing if his ex-wives showed up to break him out, but he isn’t involved.

Franco tells Elizabeth that it makes perfect sense. Any two people can shack up, but if they make it official, he’s her husband and can be stepfather to her children. She asks if it’s about the two of them, or him and Jason.

Valentin tells Jason that Helena was a horrible person. He was sent to boarding school, so they didn’t cross paths much. Jason asks about the island, and if there are any scarecrows on it. Valentin gives him a strange, amused look.

Alexis comes to Sam’s bearing diapers and cookies. She’s doing her grandma thing. Sam says she got the feeling that Alexis was drinking when they last talked. Alexis admits to having a bit of a relapse, but went to a meeting, and was coming back from one when Sam called. A new sponsor might be a good idea. A real one this time. Sam says it’s understandable with all she’s been through. Alexis says ironically Julian was again the one who convinced her to stop.

Michael tells Sonny that he’s not taking sides. Sonny asks if he talked to Carly, but he says he doesn’t have to; he already knows what they do. They’re both strong people, and sometimes turn that strength on each other, and they’re taking out the pain they feel about Morgan on each other. Sonny asks if Michael knows how much he hates hurting the people he loves, including him.

Nelle corrects herself, saying surrogate mother, and apologizes to Lulu. Lulu says it’s not her fault. She says there are so many things she doesn’t know about her own daughter, seemingly insignificant things. She said she would know them had she been there at the beginning, but Valentin kept Charlotte from her all of her life.

Doc is surprised that Laura is traipsing across the world because Tracy asked her to. He wonders how it came about. Laura says they seem like an unlikely pair, but they do have a relationship. She says it was Tracy’s fur coat that she wore to flash Doc, and Doc says he’ll be forever grateful. Laura tells him that Tracy has a situation that may or may not have to do with her father. She thinks she should help, because if Tracy goes it alone, she might miss the chance to reconnect with him. And she’s a sucker for Turkish coffee. She says the best part will be the homecoming, and they kiss.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he’s not asking her to marry him because of Jason or Jake. He’d love to be a permanent fixture in Jake’s life, but he’s asking because he loves her. She can show the world that she trusts him and chooses him over all others. She says she’s told everyone that she trusts him, and she does choose him over everything, including Jason; but Jason is Jake’s father, and she has to consider his feelings. Franco says that Jason doesn’t even believe that Jake has a problem.

Valentin tells Jason that’s a weird question about the scarecrows. Jason says thanks for the help, because he’s an impatient jackass. Valentin says that he never intended to be a father, but Helena took that decision away from him. Now, he loves Charlotte and she’s his life. He says he understands, and if Jason wants to search the island, he’ll set it up. He tells Jason that he might want to start with the olive grove.

Elizabeth says that it’s about Jake after all; Franco thinks that Jason isn’t handling it well, and that’s why he wants to marry her. Franco says yes and no. His feelings for her are real; he loves her, and he loves Jake too. He wants to make sure that Jake gets what he needs. Elizabeth says that Jason is still Jake’s father, and she has to regard his wishes. She thinks that Franco should keep his distance from Jake for now.

Sam tells Alexis that dreams can seem very real. Alexis says that sounds rational, but talks about the knocking at the door, and how no one was there. Then the second time, it was Valentin.

Valentin tells Jason that there’s an old olive grove that was planted before Cassadine’s got there, and it had a scarecrow in it. Legend had it that the scarecrow came alive one night, and it might have made an impression on Jake. Jason appreciates the help, and Valentine keeps the offer open. Jason wonders if Valentine has an agenda in helping him, but Valentin says that no child should be subject to Helena. Jason says he’ll do whatever it takes to help Jake.

Nelle tells Lulu that she knows a little about Charlotte’s childhood, but had no idea what was happening. Yeah, I guess she had other things to concentrate on, like the blow out with Carly and Sonny. Lulu says she’s glad that Nelle is taking care of Charlotte. She tells Nelle that when she found out she had daughter, she blew it. She was so excited, she ended up scaring her away. She didn’t think it through, and acted in the moment, making a huge mistake. Nelle can relate to not being able to take something back.

Sonny watches Michael work in some kind of weird proud dad way. He doesn’t want to leave it like this. Maybe Nelle wasn’t the main reason for breakup, but she helped it along. When truth came out, he knows Michael was hurt. Michael says he was sympathetic to a point, but can’t get past what she did. Sonny asks if he’s sure, and if Nelle staying in Port Charles changes anything.

Lulu apologizes for keeping Nelle, and thanks her for listening. Nelle asks how Michael is doing, but Lulu says she hardly sees him. She tells Nelle that Dante said he’s keeping to himself, and throwing himself into work. She hates that he’s grieving Morgan all alone, and Nelle says that she does too. Nelle leaves Kelly’s, and Lulu looks pleased with herself.

Michael tells Sonny that Nelle got a job as Charlotte’s nanny. Sonny says that Nelle probably still has an agenda (WOTD), and asks how Michael might feel running into her. Michael says they’re not like Sonny and Carly. He tells Sonny not to project, and says he can handle it. If he makes a mistake, he has to live with the fallout, and Sonny should know.

Elizabeth tells Franco that right now, his presence is causing an issue with Jake’s father, and she doesn’t want any more disruptions in Jake’s life. Franco says he wants the crappy cards on Father’s Day and to teach Jake how to drive. Elizabeth needs him to give Jake space until they find out what the drawings mean. Then they’ll have him to thank for getting the ball rolling. Franco says okay, they’ll do things her way, but no matter what, he doesn’t want to lose her. She says he won’t, and they kiss.

Jason interrupts, and says when Elizabeth gets a chance, they need to talk about Jake. I like Jason, but I don’t like when he acts irrational. And I like Franco more.

Sam doesn’t know what’s worse, a visit from Valentin, or Julian’s ghost. Alexis thinks about it and says Valentin. He wanted to do the family bonding thing, and gave her the keys to Windemere. She says she kicked him out of the house. Geez, most people would have just said thanks. Sam suggests it might have triggered a response.  Alexis says she doesn’t need anyone to do that, and says she had a weird feeling about the hang-up call. Sam asks for her phone, telling Alexis that she has an app for that. She messes around with the phones, and a map indicates that the call came from a payphone at the gas station near the footbridge. Alexis says that’s where Julian died.

Alexis thinks that Ava might be right, and that Julian is alive. Sam says not necessarily. Alexis says she know she shouldn’t feel this way, but she wishes he was alive. Scout starts to cry, and Alexis wants to jet, but Sam is worried. Alexis says she’s not delusional, just tired, and wants to go back to bed.

Franco starts to leave, and Elizabeth follows him. She says it’s not the best timing, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life with him. She didn’t say yes, but didn’t say no either. He thanks her, and they kiss good-by. Elizabeth tells Jason that Franco agreed to step back. Jason thinks he found a lead about the scarecrow. Elizabeth says she has lead of her own, and thinks she knows who can help.

Laura runs into Lulu leaving Kelly’s. Lulu she invites Laura for dinner tomorrow, but Laura says she’s galivanting around the globe with Tracy. Hey, that reminds me. Whatever happened to that show, Galavant?

Sonny tells Michael that distractions don’t work. Michael says don’t worry, but Sonny says Michael is his son. Even if he doesn’t need protection, that doesn’t stop Sonny from wanting to protect him.

Nelle tells Valentin about buying the scones, and says that she ran into Lulu. He asks who approached who, and she says she was leaving Kelly’s, and literally almost ran into her. He asks if she introduced herself, and Nelle thought she was just being polite. Valentin asks her to tell him everything that Lulu said. Ooh, Nelle could be a counter-spy.

Sonny says he shouldn’t be lecturing anybody (truth!), and starts to leave. Michael says if he didn’t make it clear, he loves Sonny, and doesn’t blame him for what happened. He only blames Olivia-J. He says Nelle is screwed up; that doesn’t absolve her, but puts it in context. Sonny says Michael is wiser than he was at Michael’s age, and maybe wiser than he is now. Sonny leaves, and the cheese Michael stands alone.

Lulu thinks Laura and Tracy’s trip is crazy, but it makes sense, and the two of them will keep each other out of trouble. Laura feels badly about leaving right now, but Lulu says it’s okay. She tells Laura about talking to Nelle, and that she’d asked about Michael. She hasn’t learned anything useful, but laid the groundwork. Laura tells her to take it easy; it’s just the first step. Valentin is smart, and they have to be smarter.

Nelle thinks that Lulu just wanted to be familiar with her, and make sure she’s all right to be watching Charlotte. Valentin says thanks for telling him. He tells Nelle that he tried offering joint custody to Lulu, but she didn’t want it, and is suing him for full custody. He says that she isn’t to be trusted. He gives Nelle a new set of keys, saying he’d had the locks changed, since you can’t be too careful. She puts the key on the keyring that Michael gave her.

Michael flashes back to giving the keyring to Nelle. What a coincidence!

Franco gets a text from Jake, who can’t wait to do more drawing with him.

Doc tells Jason and Elizabeth that he has to refer them to someone else, because of the personal history. They need fresh eyes and objectivity. He recommends Andre, and offers to make the appointment. Jason says at least it’s some progress, and Elizabeth is glad he was able to put aside their differences. They agree that Jake comes first.

Sam calls the gas station and asks if they have surveillance cameras.

Alexis gets on the couch with the AA big book. She looks at her phone on the table. She hears something and says it’s just the wind, but it doesn’t really sound like the wind.

On Monday, Josslyn asks Carly when she and Sonny are divorcing, Ned says he’s stopping Larry’s plans, and Jax arrives.

Flowers in My Attic

Let’s talk about V.C. Andrews. I don’t know how it happened, but I ended up spending a Saturday watching Lifetime’s version of Flowers in the Attic, and then every single subsequent film in the series. I’m not sure what came over me, but I fell under the Dollanganger family’s spell.

The books of V.C. Andrews were required reading for the young adults of my generation. I’m not sure why. They’re poorly written, and the stories revolve around – let’s just say it – incest. But for some reason, Andrews spoke to us. Apparently, even after death, as she died in 1986, yet her books continue to be churned out written. Highly doubtful that it’s difficult, but amazing that no one seems to care.

The cinema adaptation of Flowers in the Attic wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t entirely faithful to the book either, and I don’t think fans were entirely satisfied. Then, decades later, Lifetime made another stab at it. While their film was roundly criticized by reviewers, they did something right, because the franchise continued on, including My Sweet Audrina.

For those who live on another planet and aren’t familiar with the series, it revolves around siblings Cathy, Chris, Carrie, and Cory, forced to live in the attic of a Victorian mansion for years, so that their mother could get back into her own father’s good graces and inherit a bundle. She’d been shunned by the family for falling in love with her father’s half-brother, starting the chain of the wrong kind of familial love. When he suddenly dies in an accident, she’s forced to go back to the family mansion. After being trapped together through puberty, Chris and Cathy also fall in love, continuing the pattern. They also find out their mother has been lying to them.

Although I usually find Lifetime movies a let-down – their ideas are always promising, but the endings often fall flat – they got this one right. Despite being panned by critics, it was as though these God-awful books came to life. They nearly followed them word for word. The dialogue is not how anyone in their right mind would talk, unless they stepped out of 1900, and Chris and Cathy have absolutely no knowledge of how life works, even though they’ve gone to normal school up until they’re thirty teenagers. (Wouldn’t they even have thought they’re weird?) Ellen Burnstyn must have had a blast playing the grandmother, which she does with gusto, and Heather Graham is spot on as Corrine. Unfortunately, we lost Sally Draper Kiernan Shipka by the second film, but Rachael Carpani makes a lovely Cathy. I honestly think the reviewers thought the actors wrote this themselves; they did the best they could with the bizarre material. I mean, come on, the evil guy’s name is even Bart.

As with most binge watching, a sadness came over me as the final credits rolled. So bad, they’re good, it was a fun trip down Memory Lane. If you’ve never taken a dip into the strange pond of Andrews’s work, check them out next time around. Fans of the book series will not be disappointed.

Quotes of the Week

Acknowledge your gifts and be grateful to the source. Because if you know from whom you are receiving, you can always go back for more. – Rabbi Noah Weinberg

In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity. – Albert Einstein

I get all the tigers I can. At a reasonable price. A hoarder on Hoarding: Buried Alive.

🌻 To whatever attic flowers you enjoy…

PsychedelicFlower

Mar27

March 26, 2017 – A Happy Ending, an Unhappy Prisoner & a Thought or Two

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 Once Upon a Time

The Evil Queen arrives at a village, looking for Snow White. She wants the villagers to see justice served, and tells the guards to gather them. Her father tells her that she should show mercy, but she says she came for a heart. She finds nothing but straw though. She says someone is going to tell her where Snow went. She tells them that Snow doesn’t love them; she does. Tinkerbell appears, and says that the Evil Queen doesn’t care about love. She was there when the queen threw her chance at love away. The Evil Queen asks Tinkerbell if she shouldn’t be sleeping in a tulip somewhere, and the fairy says she used pixie dust to show the queen her future and the man she should be with. The queen says nothing dictates what she should do, and Tinkerbell says pixie dust only shows the possibilities; the rest is up to her. The Evil Queen says she’s happy with how things are, but Tinkerbell says she believes she doesn’t deserve love. The Evil Queen says she’ll spare Snow’s life to show that she loves everyone. She tells Tinkerbell that she hopes she enjoyed the show of mercy, since it’s the last. I guess she doesn’t love them that much.

In Storybrooke, the Evil Queen tells Robin that Regina wants to keep her dark side a secret. He says he might have the solution, but she says it’s not New York. He belongs in the realm she created with her wish, but she wants him to steal something first.

They go to a graveyard. Robin asks what this is about. The Evil Queen tells him to stop asking questions and dig.

Snow and Henry look at Emma’s ring. Everyone is happy about the engagement. Henry asks how Hook proposed, but Emma says she didn’t give him a chance. She says that Gideon is still out there, and she has to deal with that. Regina and Zelena join them. Regina tells them the snake got loose, and if she shook off her mortal coil, there’s no telling what evil she might be up to.

Robin asks the Evil Queen if they can’t use magic. She says what fun would that be? Robin unearths a box. It has the shears in it. She tells him that they’re capable of setting someone free of their fate. She’s going to use them to finally separate herself from Regina, and then she can destroy her.

Hook sees Captain Nemo on the docks. The captain says, you can tell the ocean your secrets, but will she tell you hers? ♫ Hi-diddly dee! A pirate’s life for me! ♫ He didn’t sing that; it just popped into my head. It’s time for him to go back to The Nautilus, and he wonders what Hook is going to do with his life. Hook says now that he’s found the woman he wants to marry, his past has caught up to him. He doesn’t get a happy ending. Nemo asks who knows Hook’s secrets, and Hook says only him. Nemo tells him that he must tell Emma the truth or keep it to himself forever. He tells Hook to seek forgiveness, because whatever happened will always stay with him.

The Evil Queen wonders if Henry is looking for the pen that’s in her hand. He’s surprised that she’s managed to de-snake herself. He wants the pen back, but she thinks he’s going to write her out of the story. She says that’s what Regina wants. Henry says there’s good in her like there’s bad in Regina, and that means she can change. He doesn’t know what he was going to do. She finally got her revenge, and is she happy? She says she will be. He asks what she’s planning. She says it’s something that he won’t like, but he’ll realize it’s for the best. She gives him something for Regina, and says no matter what anyone else says, she loves him.

Back in the day, the Evil Queen’s father says they need to talk. She says she knows he’ll say revenge won’t make her happy, but she wants to find out for herself. He says he’s there to help her get it. He talks about how happy she was riding, and she says that’s the day she met Daniel. Her father doesn’t believe that killing Snow will help her, but he thinks he can get her what she wants. He gives her a map that will lead to something that can find Snow.

Forward in Storybrooke, Regina shows the others what the Evil Queen sent to her. It’s a page from the book that’s been ripped out – Robin and Regina kissing, an ending that will never be. The Evil Queen wants her to know that she’ll hurt Robin unless Regina faces her. They think it’s a trap, but she doesn’t want to leave Robin. Henry says maybe he was wrong and the Evil Queen can’t change. Regina wants to go alone; otherwise, she’ll hurt everyone she cares about and she can’t let that happen. The queen is getting what she wants – their fight ends today.

Robin says this wasn’t what he had in mind by wanting the queen to tie him up. He’s bound to a chair, and gets the rope undone, but it’s enchanted rope, so it ties itself again. He says all she’ll do is make a martyr of Regina. He tells her to release him; he doesn’t belong here, and neither does she. He thinks maybe he’s there to save her. She says she doesn’t need saving. He says she could use a place for a fresh start. Regardless, in a town full of heroes, a villain like her doesn’t stand a chance. She says the only one who doesn’t stand a chance is Regina.

In the Enchanted Forest, the Evil Queen’s father leads her to a portal. She says it’s dripping with light magic, and he tells her he found it through Tinkerbell. The Evil Queen says he lied; this wasn’t about getting her revenge. He tells her it’s about getting something better. They go through the portal, and see a statue of Cupid. He tells the queen that it’s Cupid’s arrow; it’s a tool. She can use it to see who loves her most, and use it to find him. The Evil Queen says she thought he was on her side. She says she’s getting what she came for – revenge.

On our side of the border, Hook is about to burn the dreamcatcher in the fireplace, and flashes back to killing David’s father. Emma sees him, and says it was him. He says he tried to tell her, but she found the ring and he didn’t want to ruin the happiness. He says he was a broken man for a long time. She says he was going to burn his memories, and he says he was ashamed and scared he was going to lose everything. She says it’s not easy, but he would have been forgiven. He says he’s destroyed his own family, and he didn’t know how he could live with destroying hers. She tells him that they can’t hide things from each other, and he should know that. That’s why she thought they were together, and when he’s ready for that, they can talk. She gives him back the ring.

Hook finds Captain Nemo, and asks where he’s headed. The captain says destinations never matter, and asks what happened. Hook says the captain gave him good advice, but he didn’t take it. He’s not the man Emma needs him to be, and he has to find that man. The captain once said that the Nautilus could help a man discover who he could be. Nemo says get on board.

Regina goes home, and the Evil Queen shows up, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. She shows Regina the shears and says she’s going to destroy her.

Meanwhile, back at the Cupid statue, the Evil Queen smushes up some flowers, and says now we’re getting somewhere. She’s going to find Snow. Her father says not everyone gets a second chance at love, and this arrow will allow her to gaze on who she loves most. She says there’s a thin line between love and hate, as Martin Lawrence learned in the movie of the same name. The tip of the arrow turns black, and she says that now she can gaze on who she hates the most, Snow White. She shoots the arrow.

Moving on. Regina says it’s always about revenge, and she’s ready. She says the town isn’t big enough for both of them, and the Evil Queen says they finally agree on something. The shears glow, and purple lightening bolts shoot between them. The queen tells Regina, see you on the other side, and cuts the bolts. Regina says, let’s finish this. They both make swords appear and start to duel.

Rewinding, the arrow heads to the castle. The Evil Queen says Snow must know she’s not there, and wants to steal from her. She goes back home, but can’t find Snow. She says the arrow should have led her to gaze on the person she hates most. She sees herself in a mirror and smashes it.

The Storybrooke duel continues. It must be weird fighting with yourself. Says Tyler Durden. Regina throws a disco ball at the Evil Queen. The Evil Queen throws her against the wall. She says Regina has been fooling herself. She’s all that will ever be inside of her. Regina says she’s wrong, and the tree mural wallpaper comes to life, trapping the Evil Queen in its branches. Cool! Regina says what’s inside her is real, and the Evil Queen can’t take it away. She takes the queen’s heart. The queen says she hates her. Regina starts to crush the heart, and sees herself in the mirror and remembers. She says she doesn’t anymore, and releases the queen. She says she’s going to do what they never could – be brave for the both of them and choose love over hate. She takes both of their hearts and puts them together for a moment. She puts the hearts back in their respective owners.

The Evil Queen wonders what’s happening to her. Regina says she gave her some love, and she’s taking back some of their darkness. She’s part of her. They’re part of each other, whether she likes it or not. Regina says she loves herself, and so should the queen. There’s a one-sided hug, and the queen tentatively hugs back.

Regina asks if Robin is okay. The Not-As-Evil-Now Queen says she kept her word, and sent him where he wanted to go. She says Gold was too busy worrying about his son to mind the shop. Regina is sorry she didn’t get to say good-by, but the queen thinks maybe it’s better that way. She asks if Regina regrets not walking into the tavern that day, but Regina can’t imagine a life without Henry and all of her Storybrooke friends. It wasn’t her happy ending, but it gave her hope when she needed it most. The queen says she wouldn’t mind some hope. She not sure what she’s supposed to do. She needs a fresh start but has no clue where that is. Regina thinks she knows who can help.

Henry asks where he should send her, and Regina says where she can start over and have a new life. Emma frets that it’s against the rules to change things. Henry says he’s not supposed to affect those in his book, but she’s not in it. Zelena and Snow are worried she’ll still seek revenge. Snow says she wants to believe in her, but not everyone is redeemable. Regina tells Snow that she’s given the queen what she needs to make the right choices. Zelena says don’t blame her if she wakes up to a crushed heart. The queen says that won’t happen – at least she hopes not. She’s truly sorry, and promises to do the right thing. She’s sorry for what she put Snow through again.

Henry calls the queen “mom,” and she says he never called her that before. They hug. Henry asks for his pen and if she’s ready. As he writes, the queen thanks Regina. Regina tells her to promise she won’t waste a single minute. Henry writes that the Evil Queen went to a place where she got a fresh start, and she disappears into some sparkly lights. They wonder where she went, and Regina has her ideas. I have an idea too – did anyone have her take the curse off of Snow and David?

The queen appears in a tavern. She wonders where she is, and then sees Robin. She sits across from him. He asks if she’s kidnapping him again, and requests to finish his ale first. She says that’s not what she’s doing, and he says her villain plan must not have worked out. She says she’s okay with that, since she had a change of heart (wink-wink). She was wondering if maybe she could buy him a drink. He says it’s his round; he’ll buy her one. They clink glasses.

Back to Storybrooke. Snow finds Hook on the docks. He asks if everything is okay. She says Regina did it – she vanquished the Evil Queen, and gave her a happy ending. She didn’t think it was possible after all these years, but it was. Love can save even the darkest souls. She says Emma told her about the engagement, and she couldn’t be happier. She tells him that Emma waited a long time for someone to share her life with, and Snow is happy it’s him. She leaves, and he looks at the ring. Oh, go on. Tell her.

Emma comes home to a dark house.

Nemo asks if Hook is ready for adventure. Hook says he’s going back to Emma, because even villains get second chances, and hopefully third ones. The Nautilus starts to submerge. The captain says he didn’t give the order. Gideon appears, and says that he did. He tells Hook that for what he has planned, Hook can’t be in Storybrooke. He disappears, poof! in a puff of red smoke. The Nautilus starts to go down into the water as Gideon watches from the docks.

Emma looks out window. She turns out the lights.

Next time, Emma wants to move on, Aladdin is back, and Ariel joins the team.

The Walking Dead

Tara talks about the women she met at Oceanside, and how they have guns. Enid asks Carl if he ever thinks about who he killed. We see the Alexandrians taking boats to the island.

Maggie teaches gardening at Hilltop.

Rick gives Michonne a boost up a tree. She asks when the clock starts, and Rick says as soon as she’s up there. Jesus and Daryl put together a bomb. Jesus says he should have tried harder to stop Rosita and Sasha. Daryl says they can take care of themselves. He knows people have to die.

Sasha has been taken prisoner. A dude asks if she’s okay, and she asks for water. He introduces himself as David. He says last night was a sh*tstorm, and he’s the guy who gave them the rope to tie her up. He says if he gives her water – which he’s not supposed to – will she do something she’s not supposed to for him? He asks how thirsty she is, tearing her shirt, and she tells him to go to hell and headbutts him. He says fighting will just make it last longer. Negan comes by and asks what he’s doing in there. Answering his own question, Negan says he’s trying to rape this woman, and it’s unacceptable behavior. Rape is against the rules there, and he wouldn’t want to be somewhere that was let fly. He takes out a Crocodile Dundee sized knife, and says David crossed the line. David says sorry, and Negan stabs him through the neck, saying he doesn’t accept the apology. He tells the guard to get Sasha a new shirt, and tells her he’s sorry she had to see that. He adds sorry about the rope, but she caused one hell of a fracas.

Negan says he remembers her. She was there, and he gets it now. He tells her that she’s got beach ball sized ladynuts. Ha-ha! The phrases this guy comes up with! He asks if Rick put her up to this. She calls Rick his bitch, and says no. He says that’s not the way it’s going to go; this could be the beginning. He puts the knife in front of her. He says she can use it to take him out, but since he’s above her, holding a baseball bat, that would be a bad idea. She could slit her wrists, but that would be a shame. She could do nothing, and let David eat her face, which would also be a shame. Or she could save herself, and join the cause. He knows what he’d do. He tells her that he’s a man short, and he’d like to harness the heat. She could help him run this place. That’s all it was ever about, and still can be for her. He knows it’s hard to picture, but they all have sh*t to get over. He tells her to think about it. No pressure. He apologizes again. He asks her to understand that they’re not monsters.

Eugene brings supplies to Sasha. He explains the pillow isn’t hypoallergenic. He shares that there was debate about him coming, and was told he’s on his own. He says taking up with the management was indeed the right select for him, and suggests she do the same. He says he was full tilt delusional, thinking he could be brave. Referring to Abe and Glenn, he says to see someone brave get killed like that, and then a repeat, he couldn’t. Being there means he’ll never have to again, and neither will she if she says yes. He says Abe would want her to. Then says, no, he wouldn’t. He does though. Things have changed, and they can change with them. They have to. She tells him to go.

Eugene makes a sad face. He looks at David, and says he’s starting to…and Sasha says go. He leaves, and she looks sad. David starts twitching, and opens his dead eyes. Sasha looks surprised, which surprises me.

Maggie is outside the Hilltop wall, unearthing a tree for transplanting. Gregory joins her, and she says she’s never seen him outside the wall. He asks where her friends are, and she says they’re looking for something they need. He wonders why she’s still there. He says it would be better if they could present a united front, and she says it would be easier if they were a united front. He says she’s right, and he needs to be more forthcoming. She says it’s never too late to change, and if he’s serious, she’ll talk with him later. She asks him to keep watch while she digs out the tree. He has a knife. He gets close to her. He makes a lot of faces, then looks like he has a headache, and doesn’t follow through. He sees a zombie, and Maggie says she’ll do it. He says he’s there to protect the pregnant woman. She asks if he’s done it before, and he says he wouldn’t be there if he hadn’t. He runs up to the zombie, chickens out when he gets close, and then says fine, do it. Yikes! Another one jumps him while Maggie is struggling with the first one. He calls for help, like she doesn’t have enough to do. She stabs zombie one in the head, and then deals with Gregory’s zombie. He pukes. Some guys are walking by, and stop to look at them. Maggie says he hasn’t killed one before; he’s learning. One of the guys says that’s not what he told them. Gregory thanks her.

On the island, everything is all idyllic. Tara is waiting for Tanya in her cabin. When Tanya walks in, Tara draws a gun and says hi. Tanya says they should have just killed her. Tara says she’ll be glad she didn’t. Cindy walks in and says Tara promised. Tara says she did, but she didn’t have a choice. She says her friends are out there, and they’re going to take this place. They’re going to fight the Saviors, and Oceanside should join. Tara says the Saviors came back. They killed her friends, her girlfriend, and took over. They’re doing whatever the Saviors want them to, but they’re going to fight back. With Oceanside, they’d have an army. Tara says they’ll win; just talk to Rick. She says she can stop it, but they have to tell her right now. She didn’t want to break her promise, but the world doesn’t belong to fair people. Tanya says if they take the guns, they’ll be killing them. Cindy thinks they should talk to Rick and try to stop it, but Tara says they can’t.

Explosions start happening. Michonne acts as a sniper just in case. Daryl tells a group to put their hands on their heads, and Jesus adds please.

Tanya asks if Tara’s people are killing her people. Tara says the bombs are outside the walls. She tells them that it’s time to move. They get the better of Tara. Cindy holds the gun on Tara and finds out it’s not loaded. Tara tells her to just talk to Rick. Outside, everyone is being rounded up. Gabriel tells them that they want it to be as simple and peaceful as possible, and they can make it that way. Rick says they made a lot of noise, and want to wrap this up quick. No one needs to get hurt. It’s about what they need.

Tanya comes out holding Tara in front of her. She says no one is taking anything, and to leave or Tara dies. Rick says nothing has changed, and to put the gun down. Tanya says they just want to be left alone. Rick says to let go or they’ll get killed. Cindy tells the people that Rick wants to fight the Saviors. Somebody says they tried that once, and it didn’t’ turn out so well. Tara says they’re going to win, with or without them. Cindy says it’s over, and Tanya says after everything they’ve been through, it’s futile to want to fight them. Cindy knocks her out while she’s yapping away, and here come the zombies. Rick tells everyone to shield the children.

They get ready to kill the zombie horde, and it’s a bizarre bit of overkill. They waste a lot of bullets for people who are concerned with gathering guns. To their credit, there are also a few head stabbers. Rick shakes hands with one of the women. Tanya tells them they’re not fighting; take their damn guns and go.

Meanwhile, back at Neganland, Negan sees that Sasha has dispatched David. She says you win, and he says no, you win. He tells the guard to get someone to clean the mess up. He takes the knife back, and says she has a ways to go before he’ll believe she’s on board. Baby steps. Still, the way she surrendered just now was a good start. They have to work on some things, but he’ll make it fun. He says a little birdie told him that Rick and company are up to no good, and she’s going to find them a win-win. He says he’s going to show her a taste of what they have to offer, and tomorrow is going to be a big day.

Gregory gets out the liquor. He looks at himself in the mirror. He pours himself a stiff one, and looks at a map. He calls for his driver and tells him to pack a bag.

Eugene knocks at Sasha’s door he says it might not seem like it now, but she also knows the correct select. She tells him that she was wrong. She says she’s trapped, and he has to help her. He says he’ll help her get used to the idea, but she says he has to get her a weapon. One way or another, they’ll use her to hurt their friends, and she’d rather not give them the chance. If they have her, Rick’s people will get hurt. She has to die; it’s the only way. She knows that Eugene won’t stop them, but don’t let them use her. She begs him to give her something to stop this. The worst thing about this whole scene is that Sasha is behind a closed door – we only see it from Eugene’s POV. I would think they could afford better sound at this point, but the dialogue was muffled. I was straining to hear what she was saying, and it’s not like I couldn’t hear the rest of the show. Eugene says he’ll consider it. We finally see Sasha and she’s smiling. She thanks Eugene. So I get why we only saw things from his side, but take a few bucks from the zombie budget and hire an extra boom person for the day.

Jesus gathers baskets of guns. That’s funny, since usually we hear about Jesus gathering baskets of bread and/or fish. Morgan asks if they really need all of it, and Rick says they do. Carl tells Enid that he thinks of the people he didn’t kill too. Tara tells Cindy that they’ll bring them back when it’s over. Cindy says she wants to go; some of them do, but not all, and it has to be all. She tells Tara that Tanya says they’ll die, but Tara says she’s been wrong before. Tara asks where she is and Cindy says she’s lying down. Tara thanks her for saving her life. Rachel asks if they’re taking it all, and Tara says yep, see you later, and gives her the finger. Rick asks if she’s okay, and she says he’s right; she doesn’t have to feel bad.

Commercial break with important information. Fear the Walking Dead will be back in June.

Sasha paces as much as you can in a tiny cell. There’s a knock. It’s Eugene. He says he’s given things a think, and he’s decided to grant her request. He slips something under the door. It’s a pill. He says certain death in 20-30 minutes. She starts crying because I guess she wanted a weapon. Did she really think it was going to be that easy? Eugene says that she’s honest, brave, and self-aware, and he owes her some things. He says he doesn’t want her to go, but it sounds like she’s gone already. Sasha wonders what the blip she’s going to do now.

Rick and company get back to Alexandria. Jesus asks about Sasha. Rosita says there’s someone here. It’s Dwight in a cell. Daryl goes ballistic, and Rick holds him back. Rosita says he wants to help them. Rick asks if that’s true, and Dwight says it is. Rick looks into Dwight’s eyes and says okay. He points the gun at him and says get on your knees.

Next time, an extended finale. Thanks for the heads up. BTW, I’ve really been appreciating how these shows run a few minutes over the hour as a general rule now. Why? Anyway, next time, Dwight wants Negan dead (get in line), Negan wants Sasha to get things back on track, and Ezekiel an Shiva join the fray.

💋 Feud: Bette and Joan is the best! Learning all the behind-the-scenes politics has been interesting. While it’s no secret that movie stars of the studio era had to play the game, there were power struggles going on with directors and producers as well. My two takeaways for this week are: I’m glad I never had to work with Frank Sinatra, and I wish I had a Mamacita.

🍑 My takeaway from The Real Housewives of Atlanta is how frightened I am that Porsha wants to breed. And that there’s someone willing to help with that.

ScreamPainting

Mar21

March 20, 2017 – Charlotte Needs a Nanny, the VanderWedding Begins & a Couple of Other Things

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna gets a paper cut, which is a big deal if you’re on blood thinners. Andre drops by. He tells her about doing Charlotte’s evaluation.

Valentin, Nina, and Charlotte are having a celebratory meal at the MetroCourt. Valentin tells Charlotte that no one is ever going to take her away from him and Nina. Lulu and Laura walk in.

Tracy tells Hayden that she has good news for once. They got their first payment, and the hospital is on its way to financial solvency. She asks where Finn is, and Hayden says that he’s taken a leave of absence to deal with his addiction.

Finn is on hold with a rehab. He’s looking for an immediate opening. He tells Roxie it’s a wonder anyone gets clean. I can totally agree with this and identify. Several years ago, my alcoholic neighbor, who’d been drinking since he was in fourth grade, finally decided to get sober. I took on the job of calling rehabs, and it took at least a week to find him a spot in one. At the time, I said pretty much the same thing that Finn just did.

Sonny tells Carly that she’s always welcome at his house. She’s kind of testy, and says she’s there to figure out what’s going on between them and what they do next. She says losing Morgan and thinking Sonny killed him was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Finding out Sonny was innocent eased the anger, but the pain of Morgan’s death is still there. She says Nelle is like an ordinary pain – it hurts, but it’s not going to kill you – but losing Morgan was like a bottomless pit, a pain threatening to swallow her. She gets that Nelle used it to get Sonny into bed. Sonny asks if she sees it clearly, why can’t she get past it?

Anna tells Andre about talking to Olivia-J. He asks why put herself through that, and she says maybe she’s looking for closure. She and Duke only got pregnant once, and losing the baby changed the direction of their lives. She says seeing Olivia’s insanity only opened up old wounds, things she thought healed years ago. Andre asks if she got what she was looking for, but Anna says not really. She tells him that Duke never loved Olivia, but she tried to force it, and it doesn’t work that way. Andre agrees, probably thinking about Jordan. Anna asks about the evaluation. Andre explains that Lulu was granted six months of supervised visits and Valentin got full custody.

Nina suggests that she bring Charlotte to the office. She has a basket of treats she hasn’t tested yet. Charlotte gets all excited because she loves Nina’s office.

Lulu points out to Laura that Charlotte is there. Laura tries to focus on the menu. She says they all have to find a way to be in the same room. If Lulu shows anger, it’s going to go against her. On their way out, Valentin and family stop by the table. Laura asks Charlotte how she enjoyed her lunch, and Charlotte can barely respond. Valentin wants to talk to Lulu, but she tells him to leave her the hell alone. Honestly, either she is the stupidest human on the planet, or has absolutely no control whatsoever. Or maybe it’s PMS.

Finn thinks compared to the bureaucracy of getting into rehab, getting clean should be a piece of cake. He tells the rehab that he’s calling on behalf of one of his patients.

Hayden explains to Tracy about Finn going through withdrawal. She realizes she’s never known him when he’s been clean. Every decision that he’s made, including being with her, was when he was under the influence. Tracy asks why she’s not with him, and Hayden tells her that he wanted to do it alone.

Finn explains his own situation, but calls himself “his patient.” He hopes they can find an opening.

Valentin says they can arrange for Lulu to see Charlotte before the court appointed document is filed, so Charlotte can get used to being with her. Lulu balks at the weekly hour that Valentin offers. He says she scared Charlotte the two times they interacted, and he wants to ease her into it. Lulu acts like an idiot, so Laura steps in.

Tracy tells Hayden that of course he wants to do it by himself, but that doesn’t mean she should let him. Wherever he is, she needs to be with him.

Finn packs pretty much like I do, just tossing stuff into a suitcase. He tells Roxie that it’s only temporary, and Josslyn will take good care of her while he’s away. He says he wants to be someone better, and realizes how much time he’s spending chasing the drug. He finds a vial in the suitcase.

Nelle comes to the MetroCourt with a garment bag. Bobbie gets snotty with her, and Nelle says she gets it; she’s not welcome. Bobbie wants to know how she lives with herself, and calls her a bitch.

Sonny tells Carly that he should have caught on. Carly says he was skeptical at the beginning, and he says if something is too good to be true, it is. Don’t we all know it. She says someone with her life experience should have seen Nelle coming a mile away. She asks if Sonny ever really trusted Nelle, or was just going along with it for her? He says he saw how happy Carly was with her, and when Morgan died, the first couple of days he needed help, and she was there. She helped with Avery, and he let his guard down. She showed up on Thanksgiving, and he was alone, drinking. The weird thing is, that he remembers nothing – not kissing Nelle or even wanting to. He just woke up the next morning and she was in his bed. Carly asks how long after that did he decide to keep it a secret? Um…immediately?

Nina gives Charlotte a giant cookie and says they’ll bring the rest back to the house. She gives Charlotte some coloring/puzzle books. Valentin says that Mrs. Evans can help her later, because Nina has to work. After Nina settles Charlotte in, Valentin asks if she’s coming home tonight. She thinks they should be honest with Charlotte. She makes sure he’s not interested in Anna anymore, and says she’ll see him at home. I’d thought they’d settled that.

Anna tells Andre that if Valentin had just told Lulu she had a child, he could have avoided all this. I dunno about that. She realizes she’s a hypocrite, because she did the same thing, hiding Robin from Robert. Andre says maybe it was a complex situation, and Anna says maybe Valentin’s is too. She thought she knew him, but he wasn’t evil in the past and seems to love his daughter, yet at the same time he keeps hinting at knowing something. He knows why she put him on the kill list, but won’t tell her. Andre tells her she needs to focus on her health, but Anna tells him not to tell her how to live.

Mrs. Evans calls Nina. Nina says she’s sorry to hear it, they’ll miss her, and thanks for everything she’s done. She tells Charlotte that Mrs. Evans has to take care of her sick sister, but doesn’t know when she’s coming back. In the meantime, they’ll have to find another nanny.

Nelle says if Bobbie wants someone to blame, look in the mirror. Michael made her see she didn’t need revenge to be happy, and it would have stopped if Bobbie hadn’t interfered. Bobbie says Michael dodged a bullet, and would never be happy with her lying ass. She tells Nelle to get out before she throws her in the gutter where she belongs.

Carly tells Sonny that the worst betrayal is lying and covering it up. He says he didn’t want her hurt more than she was already. She says she could buy that, if Nelle was as innocent as she seemed. Sonny says he had to figure it out. Carly says she bought his explanation because she trusted him. He kept quiet and played into Nelle’s hands.

Anna apologizes. Andre asks if he can say something as a friend, who also happens to have a degree in psychology. She asks if she can stop him, and he says she’s not used to being afraid. Her condition is treatable, but makes her vulnerable. On top of it, she re-encounters someone from the past. It’s natural to want to tie up the loose ends. Anna says life isn’t that simple; it’s messy and full of contradictions. She says she glosses over her own mistakes – no, crimes – and she pushes them away, but when she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of how she was, and she doesn’t like herself very much. Andre says to be kind to her past self – she’s not the first to take a wrong turn, and give herself credit for choosing a better path. Allow her body and spirit to heal, and she can go back to kicking ass and taking names.  He asks if they’re still friends, and she says of course. They hug good-by. Andre has one last piece of advice for now – steer clear of Valentin.

Laura tells Lulu that the next six months require a staggering amount of self-control. Lulu says when she saw Charlotte, she wanted to run across the room. Laura says she has to play the long game and have patience. Lulu asks what the long game is and how she gets her daughter back. My deduction is going toward she’s the stupidest human on the planet.

Nelle comes in while Nina is on the phone. Nelle asks Charlotte if she can help, and explains the puzzle to her. Nina watches Nelle working with Charlotte and smiles. Nina tells Nelle that Charlotte’s nanny just resigned. (How convenient!) Nelle says that she’s bringing back the dress that Nina gave her for work. Nina tells her to keep it, but she says that she’s no longer working for Carly.

Carly brings up Michael, and how much he cared about Nelle. She asks how could Sonny let her take advantage of their son? He should have said something as soon as he saw she had an agenda. Sonny says that he didn’t want to lose her again.

Tracy says if Hayden loves Finn, she’ll be there whether he wants her there or not. Hayden says she has to trust him enough to let him try. Tracy tells her that hopefully, he’ll be back on staff by the time the next check comes, and telling them how to spend it.

Finn doesn’t remember stashing the vial. The phone rings. A bed is available. They ask for the patient’s name and Finn hesitates.

Nina tells Nelle that she’s surprised, since Carly said she was the best assistant ever. Nelle says it was time they parted ways. Nina gets another call, and Nelle introduces herself to Charlotte.

Lulu asks if it doesn’t drive Laura crazy to watch Valentin trample her. Laura says she’s not in the same position as Lulu. If Valentin commits another crime, she’s in a position to take action.

Valentin rings Anna’s doorbell. He asks if he can come in, and she says what if she says no. he says he could break in like she did, but it would just perpetuate the dance between them, and he wants to end it.

Finn says his patient decided on alternative therapy, but thanks anyway. He apologizes to Roxie, and starts to prepare a shot, but he drops the vial and it breaks.

Sonny says he didn’t want to drive Carly away when she needed him most. He says if it wasn’t for him, she would have pulled the trigger on Olivia-J. She would have done the same for him. He says that’s what they do for each other. She’s told lies too, but she’s still the one he trusts the most. She knows him deep down in his soul, like he knows her. They kiss. He has a silver wedding ring. I never noticed that

Hayden tells herself that she trusts Finn. Tracy doesn’t. Tracy goes to Finn’s room and sees the door open. She goes inside and sees the broken vial on the floor. She wonders what Finn has done.

Laura says if the court believed Valentin was up to no good, it would tip things in Lulu’s favor. She’s suitably placed to get her hands dirty. If things fall out the way she thinks they might, Valentin will get what’s coming to him. Sounds like she’s setting him up. I hope it backfires.

Valentin says no more break-ins, hints, or public disagreements; he wants peace. His wife and daughter are the most important things to him. If she persists, he’ll remove her – for good.

Nina apologizes to Nelle, but Nelle says she’s happy to help. She wonders if she can apply for the nanny position.

Carly tells Sonny that she has to go. She says he was right. They screw up the day to day things. They’re great at the big stuff, and would give their lives for each other, but when it comes to creating a life, they always end up at the same spot. She thinks they should just let it go. Sonny tells her that it’s not going to change, and she says she loves him, and if she hasn’t stopped now, she’s never going to. She leaves.

Tomorrow, Obrecht wonders where Finn is, Anna wants to know the truth, and Nina asks Nelle why she’s not working for Carly anymore.

Vanderpump Rules

Taco Tuesday; Wedding Wednesday. Schwartz and Katie go over things with the wedding planner. They want everything to be casual and fun. Katie claims she feels very calm. She’s marrying her Bubba. Oh, they also had edibles this morning. Schwartz’s mother arrives, and he gives her a Fireball shot. He suggests a wine chaser.

Jax is freaking out because Schwartz’s brothers missed their flight. He spends his interview time trying to figure out which tense of “worse” to use, and ends up saying it just sucks. They had one job, to show up on time. Brittany says her one job is getting everyone to party.

Scheana thinks Shay’s behavior is “off,” and wonders what’s up with him. Everyone goes to the lake with gigantic floaties. Kristen says as many problems as they have with each other, they all love Schwartz and Katie. A bug flies by and Stassi flips out. She doesn’t like bugs or dirt. Tom, who also missed his flight, manages to get there. He apologizes, and says he realized that he forgot his suit when he got to the airport. He’s rented a truck for the fifty cases of Coors Light he picked up. Eww!

Ariana asks what’s going on with Schwartz’s brothers, and Tom tells her that they missed the original flight, and then missed the connecting flight. Ariana thinks it’s possible that they still might get there in time for the rehearsal dinner.

Lisa checks out the ceremony space. A train comes by just a few yards away, and she hopes that doesn’t happen during the service. I would guess the venue knows the train schedule and plans accordingly. She has no direction yet, and needs to talk to Katie and Schwartz. The two of them join Ken and Lisa. Katie goes over the ceremony plans with Lisa while Ken grills Schwartz on how the first night is going to be. Katie gets all teary when Lisa reads what she has so far. We flash back on some of the events leading up to the wedding. Katie says the words Lisa is reading are exactly why they wanted her to officiate.

The others come by to check out the space. In her interview, Brittany tells us about her future wedding plans at a castle in Kentucky. Kristen takes pictures. The planner instructs everyone for the rehearsal. Tom talks about when he, Jax, and Schwartz lived together, and remembers when Schwartz first brought Katie home. Lunch is served. Giggy! Everyone drinks, and Jax says he has a huge crush on Schwartz’s mother. He wants to marry her just so Schwartz has to call him dad.

We flash back on Stassi’s relationship with Katie. Schwartz gives his mom an expensive ring as something to remember the moment by. Stassi’s mother pressures her about the guy she’s seeing. Stassi gives her mother TMI to get her off her back.

The triplets have arrived! Bert, Billy and Brandon. Tom had to dress them, since they basically have no clothing. Tom tells Schwartz that he and Jax want to give him an early wedding gift. The brothers come out one at a time, and Schwartz starts to cry. He says his brain isn’t even processing the moment. Somehow, Katie was able to keep the secret. Tom is thrilled about how happy Schwartz is. Lisa marvels at the identicalness of the triplets. In her interview, she says that it’s buried deep, but she knew there was some good in Jax. Well, Brittany likes him. Jax says his mission was to get Schwartz to cry – mission accomplished.

Shay is fast asleep. More dogs! Lisa tells Stassi how much hope she had for her, and felt she walked away from it. Stassi apologizes for letting Lisa down, and Lisa says maybe she needed to grow up and figure it out for herself. Lisa thinks it takes a big person to admit they’re wrong, and Stassi is glad for the compliment.

Katie goes down Memory Lane with her father. Both of her parents are there, even though they split up years ago. She says they haven’t been together as a family for a while. In her interview, she talks about doing things differently than her parents. Scheana tells Lisa about how she had a Little Mermaid party as a kid and didn’t want to mess up the piñata. They talk about Shay, and Scheana says he’s in a good place and they’ve gotten their couple mojo back. In her interview, Lisa seems a little skeptical, because she never sees Shay.

Piñata time! I’m waiting for the condoms and Ninja Turtle action figures to fall out. The girls work on the piñata, while the guys drink inside. The guys join in on the piñata festivities, It finally breaks, but I can’t tell what was inside, and Schwartz feels that everyone getting along is a good omen of the future. Lisa talks to Katie about the vows. Katie still needs to finish hers. Schwartz joins them. They talk about age, and Lisa is glad for her life experience. Katie says she’s been married thirty years and they should listen to any advice she has. Omg though, Ken is the best! Schwartz says he has no doubts about marrying Katie, and then ruins it by saying she fulfills him. That’s like, you complete me. No, just no. Everyone says good-night.

It’s the morning of the wedding. Ah, to be young and not hungover so much after a night of drinking. The groomsmen go fishing. Schwartz says he’s not ready with his vows yet. Ariana tells him to write it out and not wing it.

Lisa is ironing and Ken watches. She tells him that she hasn’t used an iron since 1986. He wants a picture, and harasses her with his phone. She tells him to bugger off. The bridesmaids get their makeup done. Katie says she’s heard that the wedding day flies by (truth!), and she’s tried to make sure all the bases are covered so she can enjoy herself. Kristen has taken on the job of attending to any last-minute details.

Jax wonders why he has to dress 30-year-old men, and tends to Schwartz’s brothers. Katie’s mother gives her a ring box with a corny sentiment on it. Tom practices tying his bow tie on his leg. He’s brought all kinds of back-up clothing and offers it around, including socks for Schwartz. Jax says two weeks ago, it wasn’t looking good, but now it’s finally happening. Ariana says if they’re still together after all the arguing in Vegas, they should be together for life.

Two hours and counting. Rose petals are scattered. Lisa thinks everything looks lovely, but she’s nervous because it’s somebody else’s day and she doesn’t want to screw it up. Giggy! Lisa instructs the helpers on how to decorate the podium.

Schwartz writes his vows. He says he’s a master procrastinator, but he’s got this. We’ll see. Ohh! Katie has one of those bouquets made out of vintage brooches. I love those! She says everything is perfect…almost. The boning in her dress is painful. She thinks maybe tacos and margaritas the night before wasn’t the best idea.

Ariana has been a bridesmaid a few times, and is enjoying wearing a suit. Tom says love is in the air. Jax says this is it, one vagina for life, but all joking aside, he’s excited for Schwartz.

And now, the dress reveal. No big shock, it’s beautiful. Lace with nude material underneath, and a mermaidish hem. Katie is wearing a sparkly headband that the veil will be attached to.

Fifteen minutes to go time. Giggy! Harrison! Another tiny Pomeranian! Schwartz talks to his dad on the phone, and tells him how much he loves him. Last minute adjustments are done on Katie’s dress, and the veil is attached. Tom thinks Ariana looks great in her suit and he’s right. Lisa takes her place at the podium. Katie’s veil is about a million miles long. The attendants walk down the aisle. The last two carry Schwartz and Katie’s dogs. Dogs! Schwartz wishes he could freeze frame the moment. It’s perfect.

Next time, the season finale, Schwartz and Katie are pronounced husband and wife, the reception happens, Lisa acquires a new bar, and Scheana wants a divorce.

🐮 Okay, going to give Sweet Home Oklahoma a try. It revolves around three women who are close friends. Years ago, I visited a friend in a small town outside of Tulsa and had the best time! I had to laugh about the restaurants – I swear everything was beef with a side of beef. I also got my first taste of Sonic, since we didn’t have them here at that point. One very interesting place I visited was a segregated cemetery. (And yes, that’s the one time I forgot my camera.) I suggested my friend buck the system and get a plot in the non-white section, but she told me that if she did, she might be using it earlier than she wanted to.

Afternote: I wasn’t totally paying attention, but the show might have promise. There’s a French bulldog in it.

👻 Once in a while, I mention a film, and I have to mention Lights Out. As soon as I saw the trailer, I wanted to see this movie. Although not much actually scares me – maybe the morgage payment – I enjoy those creepfests where things pop out at you. This one delivered, although I wasn’t crazy about the end, suddenly presenting me with lofty ideals and self-sacrifice. It was the same way I felt about Mama. Loved it up until the last few minutes. If you want to mix nobility with horror, it had better be damn good. Thirteen Ghosts (2001) worked for me in that department. I have to admit, I’ll probably watch it again, since a large percentage of it gave good scare.

Mar20

March 19, 2017 – The First Ogres War, Plans to Kill Negan are Set in Motion & Random Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

The First Ogres War. Or what I’m calling the poor man’s Game of Thrones. Medieval soldiers are in the woods using a catapult. One guy wants out, but Beowulf says if they don’t fight the ogres, they’ll kill everyone. He can be known as a hero or a coward. Beowulf hands him a sword and everyone charges forward. The ogres look just like you’d think they would – giant things with spiky teeth, holding clubs. The soldiers shoot flaming arrows at them and get swatted like flies. Instead of being a hero or a coward, the soldier is squashed when an ogre steps on him.

Beowulf is the only one left standing, and says do your worst. An ogre in armor comes out and whacks him with his helmet. Then he explodes into a fireball, leaving Rumpelstiltskin standing behind him with the dagger. Beowulf says Rumpel killed him, and Rumpel giggles, saying he killed all of them.

Hook sits at Granny’s bar in Storybrooke, throwing back shots. Archie sits down next to him, and asks if Hook talked to David. He says he did, and things went well. Archie asks what’s the problem then? Hook says he found out something about his past. He does want to tell Emma the truth, but he thinks she won’t want to marry him after she hears it. Archie says he’s changed and needs to find that out for himself.

Gold looks for Gideon. The Blue Fairy and Belle join him. He says Gideon’s heart is set on fulfilling his destiny, and needs to kill Emma to make himself a hero. He says he’s already lost one son, and won’t lose another.

In ye olde tavern, everyone toasts to Rumpel. His son, Baelfire, asks if he really defeated the ogres. Rumpel says he did, and shows off the dagger. Beowulf asks why they’re cheering, and Rumpel gives him the sword he dropped. Beowulf wonders how Rumpel was able to defeat the ogres, and says dark magic comes with a price; they’ll all pay dearly for this. Rumpel tells his son not to listen; it’s just jealousy talking. Baelfire tells him that he doesn’t need the dagger now, and should get rid of it. Rumpel agrees to no more magic.

Gideon pops into the Sheriff’s office in Storybrooke. He finds the dagger in a safe, but runs into Rumpel on his way out. Gideon says Emma won’t get the best of him again. Rumpel knocks him out with some magic, saying maybe, but he still has some things to learn from his papa.

Robin hides the box of potions that he stole from Regina. Regina finds him, and says she’s there to apologize for pressuring him to be something he’s not. Robin says it’s taking him longer to get used to this world than he imagined. She asks to help him. He suggests they meet later after he’s had time to clear his head.

Gideon wakes up tied to a chair. Gold says he couldn’t take any chances. Gideon says that his father promised to help him. Gold says he took the dark path to save his first son, but never became a hero. Once you give in to darkness, it’s almost impossible to leave it behind. Gideon says what if he steals Emma’s light magic, and that he thought Gold would want to see the Black Fairy defeated. Gold says no one wants to see that more than him, but giving into darkness can only lead to heartbreak.

Back in the day, Rumpel is doing some spinning. Baelfire comes running in all beat up. He says the baker’s son did it, so he’d look like a monster. Rumpel wants to intervene, but Baelfire says he’ll only make things worse. Some villagers come to the door, complaining that they need protection, and Baelfire says that Rumpel can save them without magic. He can show them he can defeat the beast without the dagger.

Forward in Storybrooke, Zelena walks into her house to find Robin in the kitchen. She produces a green fireball, and tells him he’s not getting her daughter. He shows her the box of potions, and says he needs her help. He needs to break out. He says he came there for a fresh start – new people to rob, new places to drink, new women to whatever – but her sister has thwarted his every step. She asks why she should help, and he says she wants out more than he does. She asks when they leave.

Gold wants to know what the Black Fairy did to make Gideon think that killing the Savior is the only way to become a hero. Gideon says Gold needs to trust him, and Gold unties him.

In the enchanted forest, Rumpel and Baelfire look for the beast. Rumpel says he wants to do it the right way, but he’s brought the dagger just in case. Baelfire says it’s like a crutch, and reminds him of a time he put a fire out without needing help. He tells Rumpel one step at a time. Rumpel gives Baelfire the dagger.

In the present, Gideon gives Gold a book, Her Handsome Hero. The Black Fairy had given it to him. She asked if he wanted to be a hero, and said we’ll see about that. She beat another boy and Gideon heard his cries. He had the chance to save him, but just sat there. He didn’t have what it takes, just like Gold. He wants to show his mother that she was wrong about the both of them, and asks for help.

Gold gives Gideon some tea to drink. It’s been mixed with memory potion. His pain will be gone, and he’ll no longer remember what the Black Fairy did. Gideon says he was raised by the Black Fairy, and pulls out the dagger. He says Gold is no different than she is, and he’s going to help Gideon fulfill his destiny whether he wants to or not.

Way back when, Rumpel sees a bunch of dead villagers and takes a sword from one. He and Baelfire go into a cave, where Rumpel finds a horn and blows into it. Beowulf grabs Baelfire, and Rumpel tells him to stay away from his son. Beowulf says the only monster there is the Dark One. Rumpel asks if Beowulf killed the villagers, but Beowulf says Rumpel did. He has the dagger and commands Rumpel to stay. They’ll think he did it.

Back to Storybrooke, where Gold tells Gideon not to let the Black Fairy destroy his life. Gideon holds up the broken dagger. Gold says there’s good in him and not to snuff it out. If he does this, he might not be able to get back. Gideon says sorry, but go away and don’t try to stop him.

Robin is at the Storybrooke border, and Zelena appears, poof! In a puff of green smoke. Robin asks Zelena where she’s been, and sees that she’s brought her pet cobra. She says with so many dank sewers she couldn’t leave her behind. Regina pops in. She says she should have known. She asks if they thought she wouldn’t notice her magic was missing, and chastises Robin for saying he wanted a fresh start. He says he’s been constantly reminded that he’s somebody who can’t live up to the legacy of someone who died for her.

She tells him to try a potion. He does, but they still can’t get out. Regina says Robin doesn’t understand the world out there, but he says he can handle himself. She says if he really wants to go, she’ll figure out how to break the protection spell. She owes it to both Robins to let him find his happiness, even if it means him walking out.

Beowulf duels with Baelfire. He says Baelfire is just like his father; he doesn’t have it in him. Rumpel appears, poof! In a puff of purple smoke. He says that he told Beowulf to stay away. Beowulf says if Rumpel kills him, his boy will see he’s a monster. Rumpel says he’s taking him back to town and telling them the truth. Beowulf says they won’t believe him, and will think it’s only a matter of time before he turns the dagger on them. Rumpel suggests they find a new village, and Baelfire says he won’t let Beowulf do this to them; he’s the monster and should pay. Beowulf tosses him aside and walks away. Baelfire looks at the dagger. He says, Dark One stop him, and orders Rumpel to kill Beowulf. Which he does.

In the Storybrooke forest, Gideon comes upon his fairy godmother, the Blue Fairy. He says she was supposed to protect him as a baby. She apologizes, saying the Black Fairy was too strong. He says maybe she can help now. She tells him that it won’t be like he thinks, and he says he wants her magic. He freeze frames her, and Gold tells him stop. He says he watched one son darken his heart; he’s not watching another one. He says he’ll do it for him, and slices the Blue Fairy’s hand. He takes a drop of her blood, and her magic goes to him. He tells Gideon that they’ll defeat the Black Fairy and he’ll be a hero. He says he doesn’t think he needs the dagger anymore.

Backing up. Rumpel asks Baelfire what he’s going to do with the dagger. He doesn’t know, but thinks the baker’s son won’t bother him again. He says he’s sorry he made Rumpel give up the power, but they need it to protect themselves. Rumpel says he’s right, and gives him some tea. Baelfire says it tastes strange, and Rumpel says it’s a memory potion. He’s not letting Baelfire follow him into the darkness; one of them has to be strong. Suddenly Baelfire doesn’t remember getting out of the cave, and Rumpel tells him that he hit his head. He says Beowulf won’t be bothering them anymore. Baelfire thinks Rumpel killed Beowulf, and asks how he could. Rumpel says he did what he had to do, and Baelfire says the dagger is turning him into a monster. He runs out, leaving Rumpel alone.

Moving on. Belle asks Rumpel what happened to the Blue Fairy. He says it was the only way to stop Gideon. If he hadn’t, they might not ever get him back. He says Gideon has the sword, and he’s going after the Savior. He hopes there’s enough time to stop him. Belle says they will. He darkened his soul, so Gideon wouldn’t have to. Belle says he finally put their son first, and maybe there’s hope after all.

Hook sits at Granny’s, still drinking, his food untouched. He goes home and calls for Emma, who runs downstairs. He says there’s something he needs to tell her. It’s not exactly easy, and he doesn’t know how she’ll react. She says her answer is yes. He asks what the question is. She says she found something she shouldn’t have, and shows him the ring. She asks if he’s mad, and he says he could never be mad at her. She says no walls, no secrets. She knows she ruined the surprise, but he gets down on one knee and asks if she’ll marry him. She says yes, and they kiss. He doesn’t look too happy though.

Regina messes with her cauldron. Zelena says she’s there to return Queen Cobra before anyone notices she’s missing, and to apologize. Regina says it’s her fault, and Zelena says they’ll go with that then. Regina tells her that when she saw Robin, it was a test to see if she could move forward, and she failed. She says she’ll always be paying the price for what she did. Zelena corrects her, saying the cobra did it. Regina lifts the cover off the cage, and the snake is gone.

Robin is in the woods, and the snake slithers down onto him. It bites him, and turns into the Evil Queen. She’s like, sorry, but she needed some of the potion that was stuck on him. She explains that she’s not Regina, and he should recognize a doppelganger when he sees one. He says he doesn’t care if there’s seven of her, he’s leaving. Nothing will keep him in this abysmal hamlet. She says that he hasn’t had the right tour guide, and when she’s done, he’ll have new appreciation of what Storybrooke has to offer.

Next time, the Evil Queen looks for Snow, and she and Regina have a showdown.

The Walking Dead

Maggie practices knife throwing, and gives lessons. Maggie gets a sonogram. Sasha makes plans. Sasha practices knife killing. Maggie goes over some stuff with Jesus. Sasha visits Abe’s grave. Jesus gives her a blueprint of the Saviors’ camp. Maggie brings Daryl coffee. It’s a busy morning at Hilltop.

Gregory is running out of liquor. He watches as some Saviors come in to the camp.

While Sasha is at Abe’s grave, Rosita asks her for help.

Jesus and Maggie chat. He says he grew up in a group home, so he’s used to a lot of people, but it’s the first time he feels like he belongs. She and Sasha helped him to be a part of things. He says he’s bad at relationships, but she says he should try it sometime. Sasha watches as they talk.

Sasha opens a book that has a carved out inside with bullets in it. Jesus and Enid come in, and she says she was looking for something to read. Jesus says she can have it, but asks her not to go. He says they can’t go after Negan without a lot of people. Sasha says they’re not changing their minds. He asks if Maggie knows they’re here, and Enid says Sasha should tell her about everything. Jesus wants to come along, but Sasha says Hilltop has to be ready for afterward, and Maggie needs him. Jesus asks her to stay, but knows she won’t. He tells her to take what she needs, but they should talk to Maggie; they owe her that much.

Sasha tells Enid that Maggie trusts her and has to be protected. She’s the future, along with Enid. She gives Enid a woven bracelet for the baby, and says maybe she can work on it some more while Sasha is gone. Enid says in ten minutes she’s telling Maggie, and it’s up to Sasha what she wants to do with that.

An alarm is sounded. Enid gets Daryl. Sasha and Enid slip into some wooden boxes. Daryl and Maggie hide in the root cellar.

Simon and his cronies walk into Gregory’s place. Gregory says he wasn’t expecting them so soon, but asks if Simon wants some gin. Simon says he’s into tequila now. Gregory tells Simon that he respects that. Simon says it’s just a quick visit. He says they have somebody, and he wants to be pointed in their direction.

Daryl peeks out through the door, and Maggie tells him to get away from there.

Sasha and Rosita tromp through the woods. They try to hotwire a car. Rosita sees the necklace that Sasha is wearing, and says that she made it. (I guess it was Abe’s? Seriously, who cares about that at this point?) They move on to look for another car. Sasha tries to make small talk, but Rosita isn’t having any. Sasha tells Rosita about some buildings where they might have a good shot, but thinks they should stay outside, do it clean, and maybe get out alive. Rosita says if they miss, they don’t get another chance. Sasha says she won’t miss, but if they get caught, they won’t get another chance for sure. They stab a couple of zombies in the head. Sasha says Rosita should think about it.

Enid gives one of the Saviors a basket of vegetables, but he gives them back and she drops them. He wants her gardening tools. She hands them over, and he opens the cellar door where Maggie and Daryl are hiding. He looks around. They watch him from behind some piles of stuff.

Simon visits Dr. Carson. The doctor says he’s already given them all the medicine he has. Simon tells him that’s not what he wants. Negan wants him to come to their camp. Dr. Carson asks why Negan needs two doctors, and Simon says they don’t. The doctor asks if his brother got himself killed, and Simon gives him condolences. Dr. Carson tells Gregory to arrange for medical care for Hilltop. Simon says fair is fair, and they’re not leaving them without medical solutions. He gives Gregory a crate of aspirin. Gregory asks for a word.

Gregory tells Simon that he’s proven he can work with Negan, but has to hang on to his people’s trust. Someone else might not be as cooperative and have crazy ideas. Simon asks who, but Gregory doesn’t have anyone particular in mind. Simon says if he’s having problems of that nature, to come and see him any time. Just tell the guard who he is, and they’ll let him in – as long as there’s no shenanigans afoot. He says Gregory is a good producer and he doesn’t want him to be stressed.

Savior dude starts moving stuff around in the cellar. He takes a basket of something and brings it outside. Maggie says Daryl was going to kill him, and Daryl says he deserved to die. Maggie says he hasn’t said a word to her since he got there. She asks him to look at her. He says he’s sorry, and starts crying. Geez. She says it wasn’t his fault. She says he’s one of the good things in this world, and that’s what Glenn thought. She wanted to kill that guy too. She wants them all to die, but they have to win. She hugs Daryl and asks him to help her win.

The Saviors leave Gregory’s place as Jesus and Enid watch.

Rosita throws a Molotov cocktail into a car to attract some zombies, while she and Sasha climb a fence to steal another car. We discover that even after death, kneeing a man in the groin works wonders. Sasha drives backward like a bat out of hell and through the fence.

Sasha sees Eugene giving instructions about the zombie guards. She and Rosita are holed up in a building across the way. She tells Rosita that it looks like Eugene is ordering people around. She asks Rosita to teach her some knots, but Rosita says it won’t matter soon. What a barrel of laughs she is. I have the feeling that she and Abe would not have made a good match. He was the only character who actually had a sense of humor. Rosita decides to show Sasha anyway, then stands at the window, aiming the gun. Sasha says Rosita knows how to do everything, and they got lucky having her in the group. Rosita tells her about how she learned different things from various guys. She says a lot of them wanted to protect her, and never noticed everything she was picking up. Sasha asks if that’s how it was with Abe, and Rosita says no. She fell in with him because he knew she could handle things, and she never looked back. Only when it was over. She says she thought she hated Sasha, but maybe she just hated that Sasha picked up on Abe first; Rosita never told him how she felt, and it was stupid to waste so much time. She gets weepy. She asks if Sasha was happy, and Sasha says she was. Rosita says it wasn’t his time. Sasha says he wanted to fight, and the a-hole with the bat took that away. She says no matter how it goes down, she has Rosita’s back.

Sasha looks out the window. She sees a truck coming in. She tells Rosita that they’ve brought Dr. Carson there. She sees Negan, and tries to get a bead on him, but it doesn’t happen. They hear Eugene asking for more walkers over the radio. He says he’s chief engineer, aka Negan. Rosita says they’re going inside.

Jesus meets with Gregory. Gregory tells him that there are too many people in his trailer, and gives him job assignments for the newcomers. Jesus says he must be worried if he wants to split people up. Gregory says who knows what will happen with all the Saviors around. Jesus takes that as a threat, and Gregory says they’re not friends. A guy brings Gregory some tequila, and Jesus leaves.

Daryl asks where Sasha and Rosita are.

Eugene tells the guard he’s with that they need a drill on safety protocol. Suddenly, the guard drops dead, and Rosita comes out of nowhere, telling Eugene to get it together; they’re breaking him out. He says he’s not going. He says he didn’t ask them to come, so go. He practically runs inside. Rosita says she’s going in. Sasha tells her be careful; they could be coming back. But instead of letting Rosita in, Sasha goes inside and locks the gate. She tells Rosita to go. She says it’s not Rosita’s time, and they need her. Some Saviors come out, and Rosita runs.

A man with a crossbow is in the shadows.

Next time, Gregory asks why Maggie is still at Hilltop, and the battle begins.

🍸 If you’re not watching Feud: Bette and Joan, you’re missing out. The casting is impeccable, the acting is on point, and it evokes the period perfectly. And I am so loving the behind-the-scenes story of one of my favorite films, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? While there’s no question of a feud, there are moments where you think at another time, these two strong, talented women might have become friends.

🍑 On the other hand, The Real Housewives of Atlanta is same peach, different day. Porsha has acquired no more brain cells, and possibly lost a few, and Phaedra continues to blame Kenya for some of her marital problems. Seriously? Dude was a raving lunatic who ended up in the slammer, and you’re pointing a finger at Kenya? The trip to Hawaii helped nothing. Bravo needs to stop paying for these trips that are so unappreciated, and send me on vacation instead.

 

Mar13

March 12, 2017 – Prince Charming Learns About his Father & Richard Tries to Start a War

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

A man enters a cabin in the pouring rain. His wife, Ruth, tries to calm twins David and James, who are crying in their crib. He says he’s failed them. Rumpelstiltskin appears, and offers a deal. He says the king needs a son. They can have one healthy son or two dead ones. The man tells Ruth that they have no choice. Rumpel flips a coin to decide which son he takes. Prince James it is. He tells them the deal must remain a secret, and James is no longer their son. Storybrooke’s David is the remaining baby, and the man is his father, Robert.

In Storybrooke, David tells Emma he’s proud of her, and that with hope, nothing can tear the family apart. They toast to family. David wishes they were all there, and Emma says she’ll break the curse, and they’ll get Snow back.

David steps outside and feels something in the air. His father appears with blood all over his hands. David faints. Hook finds him, and he says he’s fine. Hook tells him to get some sleep. David says if he wanted advice, he doubts he’d take it from a pirate. Geez. Just a little touchy. Hook goes back inside, and David discovers that he’s holding an old coin.

Robin complains about the incessant noise bothering him, and Regina explains the alarm clock. She’s brought him some clean clothes, since he probably smells to high heaven. Snow tells Regina that she doesn’t know who this Robin is, but Regina says there’s a part of her Robin in there. Snow says she’s worried, and Regina says she is too.

Hook visits Archie. He tells Archie that David sees him as he used to be. Technically, he’s still a pirate, but he’s a good pirate now. He thinks David wants something better for Emma, and it’s about to get more complicated. He shows Archie an engagement ring. He wants David’s blessing, but doesn’t know how or when to ask him. Archie says he shows progress in just buying the ring – he has a conscience now. He tells Hook not to wait; life is too precious. If he wants to know what David thinks, ask him.

Snow leaves a video message for David, telling him she misses and loves him. His father appears again, and David says he owes him nothing; he was a drunk, and died when David was six. David asks if he’s there about the coin. He tells Robert that he’s spent his entire life trying to forget him, and asks what he wants. Robert answers, the truth.

Back in the day, Robert is at the pub. The bartender suggests he spend the money on his family, but he hoists another one. King George is announced. The king says he knows what they’re thinking – why is he there? He tells them that his son has been abducted. Anyone with information will be rewarded, and anyone withholding information will be in trouble.

Robert wants to look for James, but Ruth wonders why he’d want to come back to a dying farm. A young David asks where Robert is going, and he says on a supply run. David asks if he’ll be better when he gets back. Robert swears he’s never touching another drop, and David gives him a lucky coin. I guess he’s going to rehab? I get a funny mental picture of a medieval enchanted rehab.

In the present, David flips the coin around in his hand. Hook drops by. David says he needs Hook’s help. He shows Hook a bulletin board with all kinds of photos, maps and arrows, and asks if he sees anything. He tells Hook that he saw his father’s ghost, and no matter what, Robert is still his father, and deserves justice. He asks Hook for help. Hook thinks Emma might be better suited to the task, but David doesn’t want to worry her or Snow. He says Hook is a pirate, and that’s what he needs.

Regina shows Robin the book of their stories. The doorbell rings. It’s Zelena, who asks where Robin is. She wonders if he’s scheming to take the baby back, and realizes that Regina hasn’t told him. She starts to blather on about how Robin can never see the baby. Regina tells her to go home, and she disappears, poof! in a puff of green smoke. Regina goes back inside to find that Robin is gone, and the book is opened to the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Out on the streets of Storybrooke, Robin draws his bow on the Sheriff, aka Keith. The arrow goes into a telephone pole, and Robin crosses the street to attack Keith. Keith tells Robin that he’s not the same person. Regina appears and sends Keith somewhere else before Robin does something he regrets. She needs Robin to promise to stop running away and trying to kill people. He says, all right. Well that was easy.

Emma has taken Henry on a canoeing trip. David and Hook go to her house to borrow some spell ingredients and the book that goes with them. Hook is concerned about sneaking into Emma’s place. David says the one time he needs him to be that guy, he gets cold feet. He tells Hook that he needs the shed key and a lookout. Hook gives him the key and stands watch.

Switching to the past, Robert approaches Rumpel for help. He says James is missing, and he wants Rumpel to help find him. He has nothing to offer, but says Rumpel owes him. Rumpel says that Robert finally grew a spine, but Robert says he finally became a father. He wants to tell his boy that he’s sorry. Rumpel says he could be persuaded for a hair off of Robert’s head. Poof! In a cloud of purple smoke, a crystal globe appears. Rumpel says that James ran away, but it’s to a place that Robert doesn’t want to follow him to. He plucks the hair off of Robert’s head, and gives him James’s location. When Robert leaves, Rumpel tells us that small things can hold great power.

Forward to Storybrooke, David goes through the shed. Hook sees Emma’s yellow VW bug drive up. Her car is really hard to miss. He asks what happened, and she says they forgot lifejackets. Hook says he’s desperate to kiss her. She says she knows he’s lying, and asks what he’s hiding. He says he’s been out of sorts because of Archie; he paid him a visit to talk about her. He says he thought that she was going to die, and it changed the way he thought about things, about them. Behind Emma, David sneaks out of shed. Hook tells Emma that it’s hard for him to share feelings, so consider them shared. They kiss. Emma goes to the shed, and Hook and David jet.

Regina asks if Robin was going to kill the Sheriff. He wonders about her calling him on that, when she’s the one cursing everyone. And he doesn’t mean she’s swearing at them. She says she knows she sounds like a hypocrite, but she’s changed. She tells him that the other Robin had a child, really two, but just one is there – the daughter he had with her sister. She says it’s complicated, and he says everything there is. Regina tells him that she’d hoped to give him a fresh start. He kisses her. Hmm… She was kind of looking around during the kiss and has a disgruntled face. She tells him that she’ll show him more of the town. I guess the kiss didn’t go well?

David tells Hook that the spell should show them where the coin was when his father died. David twirls in a circle, and Hook puts something in the beaker that looks like taco chip pieces. The beaker starts to smoke. David dips the coin in it, and then puts it on a map. It rolls around and lands on Pleasure Island. Hook says he knows it, but has never been there.

Way back when on Pleasure Island, we see a humongous, old-fashioned carnival. Robert wanders among the crowd. He’s offered a pint, but says he’s looking for his son. This is not rehab, but he is abstaining. He sees wooden boy Pinocchio on a bench, and sits next to him. Pinocchio asks him if his coin is worth something, and Robert says it was from his son. He tells Pinocchio that he’s looking for his other son, the prince. Pinocchio says he hasn’t seen him, but his nose begins to grow. Robert says tell him where his boy is.

Robert finds where James is hiding. James says he doesn’t want to go home. His father wants him to hunt, and he doesn’t want to kill things. Robert says he’s not taking him to that home, but the home where he has a brother to play with. He thanks Pinocchio. Two of the shills see him, and they start to run.

In Storybrooke, adult human Pinocchio tells David that this is the coin his father had. David thought he was just a drunk, but Pinocchio tells him that his father was sober. Pinocchio explains that it was a part of his story that he’s not proud of, so he took it from the book, but he wants to help, so he’ll look for it.

David tells Hook that because of him, he’s changed his mind about revenge. Hook says he’d stop him if he could, but David isn’t going to give him that chance. He handcuffs Hook to a bike rack, and drives away.

Rewinding, the king is waiting on the docks. He offers Robert the reward for James, but Robert says that James doesn’t want to go with him. He tells the king to let him lie where he’ll be happy. The king says that Robert looks old and that conscience must be a terrible thing. Robert says he realizes what he did was wrong. James begs not to be taken, but the King tells the guards to grab him, and they can have the reward if they kill Robert and make it look accidental.

Fast forward to David finding the king in a cell. David accuses him of killing his father, and the king plays semantics, saying he only ordered him killed. David says he offered a temptation and Robert withstood it. David throws him a dagger, and says fight for your life if you think it’s worth it. They slash at each other. Hook intervenes, and throws the king outside. David says that the king killed his father. He says that in his final moments, his father resisted temptation, but died anyway. Robert did the right thing, but it wasn’t enough. David goes through a bunch of “what ifs,” ending with what if he loses everything that matters. Hook says to kill the king if it will make him feel stronger, but think about his father. He asks if Davud wants to be a murderer in return. David lets him take the knife.

In the enchanted forest, the guards bind Robert to the cart. They say everyone will believe he was drunk and drove the cart off the road. With him tied to it, there’s no way he can survive the fall.

Back to today, David’s father bids him farewell on the dock. Hook asks if David is okay. He says he thinks so, and owes Hook an apology – he’s the noble one. It cost him more than it should have, and he did the hardest thing anyone can – he changed. He saved David from making a huge mistake, and David doesn’t know how to repay him. But Hook knows. He asks if he has David’s blessing in asking Emma to marry him. There’s silence for a moment, then David finally smiles and says of course. He didn’t realize that Hook was so old-fashioned, but Hook says he is over 200 years old.

Snow and Regina talk. Regina tells her about Robin kissing her, and says it was nothing, like kissing a photograph. It just isn’t him. She says Snow was right. Snow says sorry, she didn’t want to be. Regina says it’s not her fault, but there has to be a reason he made it through. If she isn’t the reason, what is? She wonders who he is and what he wants.

Robin goes to Regina’s mausoleum and takes out an intricately carved box that contains a heart.

Pinocchio finds the part he tore out of the book and gives it to Hook. Hook looks at the pages and sees Pinocchio on the bench with Robert.

The guard tells Robert it’s time to die, but Hook stops him. He and his men kill the guards. He says they’ve gotten a fortune. Robert thanks him for saving his life. Hook asks why he would do that, and Robert tells Hook he won’t say anything. Hook says that’s right, because dead men tell no tales, and runs his sword through Robert. (Although this made me wonder why no one would have realized Robert was killed by a sword, not a fall. It doesn’t take modern medicine to determine that one.) Hook tells his men to take the stuff, hide the cart and this poor, departed soul.

Emma comes out of the house to find Hook out front. He says he’ll be in in a minute. He looks at the ring and snaps the box shut.

Next time, Hook gets more analysis from Archie, Gideon wants Rumpel/Gold to help him with his destiny, and a big, scary giant stomps around.

The Walking Dead

Ezekiel’s men set up a single melon in the back of a truck. No clue.

Carol wakes up and lights a lamp. She smokes a cigarette. Do they grow tobacco or is there just an endless dramatic license supply?

Morgan teaches Benjamin’s little brother how to use the staff. He asks if the kid’s goal is to really knock his brother out, and thinks it’s more that he wants to be like him. He tells little brother that if his feet ain’t right, nothing is.

Carol emerges to a beautiful pink sky. She walks down the road and climbs a tree. She pikes zombies in the head with a street sign. She sees Benjamin and asks where Morgan is.

Carol asks Morgan why Jesus was there. Morgan says he wanted to find out if they could work together. She asks if it’s true that a deal was made between the Saviors and Alexandria, but he tells her to talk to Daryl about that. She told him not to say where she was, so he didn’t. Daryl didn’t find her because of him, and what they talked about was between them. He’ll go to Alexandria if she wants to; she shouldn’t go alone. He asks if she found what she wanted getting away from everyone, or was it too late to get away? A tear trickles down her cheek, and he says they can leave now if she wants to. In true Carol fashion, she says nothing and walks out. Carol’s passive/aggressive crap irritates the hell out of me.

Benjamin asks if Carol wants him to walk with her. He says he’s trying to see what she does with the zombies, and asks If she’d let him observe. She tells him to go do his drop. She sees a zombie in the street that she’d incapacitated earlier, but keeps moving. Someone is watching her.

Richard sees a backpack that says Katy on it, and he buries it.

All is well in the Kingdom. Ezekiel observes. He asks one of his subjects, Nabila, what she’s found. She tells him that many of the plants have weevils, and they’ll have to burn them before it gets to all the crops. He tells her to do what must be done. She says the good part is, that it will all grow back. Sheba Shiva makes a noise, and Nabila says she just peed herself, so she’ll be going now.

Benjamin thanks Morgan again for the book. He says he’s still thinking about it – to injure an opponent is to injure oneself; you get hurt no matter what. He gives Morgan a drawing that he found. Morgan hangs it on the wall. Benjamin says a girl helped him with it, but when Morgan asks who, he gets evasive and leaves.

Richard and Morgan talk about Benjamin having a girlfriend, and Richard says Benjamin is too young to be a father. Richard tells Morgan that before the apocalypse, he had the perfect family and life. He asks what about Morgan, and apologizes about how things have been between them. He knows Morgan is a good man, but they don’t look at killing the same way, and the day is coming when you can’t be that good.

Morgan tells Benjamin that it’s time to go. The guys get in the truck with the produce offering. Morgan asks who the girl is, but Benjamin is still not forthcoming.

Somebody has blocked the road with a line of shopping carts. Richard says it can’t be anything good He gets out with his gun. He tells everyone that they can get out, but keep their guns out. They all look around, scouting the place.  Richard tells them to move toward the building. In the back, they see a hole with a sign that says “bury me here.” Ezekiel says that people have lived through every kind of misery, and this is how they must exist now; it’s lucky they’re not all insane. Benjamin says luck has nothing to do with it. Ezekiel made them another world.

They move the carts. Savior Gavin and company show up. When right-hand goon to the right-hand goon, Jared, is chastised by Jerry for interrupting Ezekiel, Jared whacks Jerry in the head with Morgan’s staff. Gavin says that he appreciates the delivery, but this is making him stressed and he didn’t sign up for being stressed. He asks if they have today’s offering. He wants their guns, but the group draws them and Ezekiel says they didn’t agree to that. Gavin says give them up or try to use them. Richard tells Ezekiel that they should give them over. Gavin gets nasty, and Ezekiel says to give Morgan his stick back and they can have the guns. Gavin says he needs to understand the gravity of what’s happening. He was given a choice; which is it going to be? Morgan says it’s fine. Ezekiel says to give them the guns.

Gavin tells Ezekiel that he took guns because things are getting emotional. He checks out the melons they’ve brought, and says they’re short; he counts eleven. Ezekiel says that’s impossible. Gavin says the problems have to end now. Ezekiel needs to learn the stakes, and they’re going to teach him. Ezekiel says they’ll get double in return, but Gavin says right now is what matters. They haven’t held up their side of the bargain, and they’re going to deal with this now. Jared holds a gun to Richard’s head. Richard says, just do it. Jared shoots in another direction, and we hear, no!

Benjamin has been shot. Gavin tells Jared to give back Morgan’s stick and get in the truck. He tells Ezekiel that he’ll make deliveries on time and they’ll be complete. He’s going to show Gavin that he understands by bringing the missing melon tomorrow. Ezekiel says he understands. They grab Benjamin, and put him in the truck. Concern is voiced about him bleeding out. Richard lags behind and Morgan yells for him to get in.

Carol is planting some seeds, and sees the truck pull up. Benjamin is brought in and put on the kitchen table. Carol tries to stop the bleeding, but she’s not having much luck. Benjamin says, injure the opponent, injure yourself, and dies. He dies. Ezekiel tells Carol that he’s sorry, but they had no choice. Morgan walks out. Carol asks him to wait, but he doesn’t listen. He thinks about the grave. He thinks about killing himself. He thinks about a lot of stuff. He kicks a box.

Richard appears tells Morgan to pick his gun up.

Richard tells Morgan that it was supposed to be him. He was going to give his life to show Morgan, and something else happened, because they’ve done nothing to stop them. Nothing. He tells Morgan about how he was in a huge camp, a city of tarps, latrines, wood smoke, and babies crying. He knew they had problems, but didn’t think they were his to solve. He thought there were smarter and stronger people to deal with it, so he did nothing. There was a fight and a fire, and he lost his wife. He ran for three days, no food, no sleep. Then he lost his little girl. Right in front of him, because he didn’t do something; because he waited. Okay. Let’s all say it together: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke? I know this was up for debate at some point.)

Richard asks Morgan to listen. He says they can use what’s happened. They can show the Saviors that they understand what they need to do. They have to do something to make them believe. When they gain their trust back, they kill them. They can join with Alexandria and Hilltop, and crush them in one fell swoop. This is it; Morgan has to kill, or else he might as well kill himself. Someone had to die. Richard tried to be the one, but that didn’t happen, so he’ll be the one to lead the army to destroy the Saviors. He says they’ll talk to Ezekiel. He’ll tell everyone what he did, and live the rest of his life making up for it.

Morgan meditates. Ezekel comforts Benjamín’s little brother. Morgan meditates some more.

We revisit Ezekiel and the melon in the truck from the beginning of the show. They go to the parking lot to meet with Gavin. Morgan asks Richard if he’s talked to Ezekiel yet, and Richard says he will when they get back. Ezekiel hears them and says let’s talk now. Gavin’s truck pulls up. He and Jared get out. The Jerky McJerkfaces. Gavin asks how the kid is, and there’s no answer. He ponders this, and deduces that Benjamin is dead. He tells Jared to start walking back before he kills him, and don’t say one word. Jared starts walking.

Gavin asks if they have the melon that all this started over. Richard says they get it, and Morgan whacks Richard, knocking him to the ground. He starts to strangle Richard, and everyone just stands there. He pounds Richard’s head into the ground until he’s dead. WTF??? Morgan says he set it up. Richard blocked the road, and it was all him. They had everything when they left. Richard took one of the melons from the cargo. He wanted to start something between the Kingdom and the Saviors. Morgan wanted to show Gavin that they get it; they understand what they need to do and how to go on. Gavin says good, but I think he’s a little freaked. He says, next week same time. Morgan says they understand.

Wow this is f-ed up.

Ezekiel says he did this. Morgan says he wanted to die for them before; he wanted it to be him. Ezekiel says they must take their leave, and Morgan shouldn’t be alone. Morgan says he’ll go. The Kingdom people leave, and Morgan puts a knife in Richard’s head.

Morgan drags Richard’s body and buries it. In digging the hole, he’s unearthed the backpack. He buries that too.

Noisy zombies coming through. Morgan pops them in the head with his stick and does some majorette moves.

Morgan visits Carol. He asks if she really wants to know what happened in Alexiandria. She asks what happened to him, and he says he strangled Richard; he’s the one who got Benjamin killed. He asks again if she wants to know, and she nods. He tells her that Negan killed Glenn and Abraham, he beat their heads in with a baseball bat. He says the Saviors have Alexandria, along with everyone else. Everything they do is for the Saviors now. And they’ve killed more, Spencer and Olivia. Jesus brought some of them there because Rick wants to fight. She wanted to know; now she does.

She asks where he’s going, and he says he’s going to kill them one by one. Carol tells him to wait. She packs her bags, and goes into the Kingdom. She sees Ezekiel planting with Benjamin’s brother. She tells him she’s sorry, and he thanks her. She tells Ezekiel that they have to fight. He says they do, but not today. She joins them planting.

Morgan carves his stick, making a point on the end.

Next time, Sasha isn’t changing her mind, Rosita and Sasha work together, and more zombies! Okay, I wasn’t totally paying attention, since I was looking at the digital guide, and the teeny tiny picture was up in the corner.

 

Mar6

March 5, 2017 – Once Returns, Rick Finds Guns & Feud is Fabulous

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

Underneath a bridge, a little girl reads a fairy tale book, then uses the pages to stoke a fire. A young man asks what her story is. She tells him that she ran away and it’s none of his business. He asks her to stop burning the book, and tells her that The Ugly Duckling was his favorite. He says the best fairy tales are about transformation. She says that’s not what it’s about; the duck was always a swan, but didn’t know it. He says it’s about belief; if we believe in something strongly enough, we all have the power to change our fate. He asks if this is the fate she wants.

The little girl tells a desk clerk that her friend brought her there, and her name is Emma Swan.

In the enchanted parallel world, before Emma and Regina can jump into the porthole, Robin holds them up for their jewelry. Some huntsmen ride close by, and Robin jets. Henry leads the pack, and thinks that Emma and Regina crossed the river. Emma tells Regina nothing there is real. The place was created by a wish. Emma thinks she’s found a way back.

David and Hook stroll the streets of Storybrooke. David says they need to give the Evil Queen what she deserves, and he’s not resting until it’s done. Hook says he’s in, but he hopes David knows what he’s doing.

Rumpelstiltskin (as Gold) asks Gideon how this is possible. Gideon says he was in a place where time didn’t move. Gold asks if the Queen harmed him, but he says she toughened him. In all of the dark years, he tried to remember Belle and follow her example. He’s still going to kill Emma though, because he’ll gain her power as Savior. He needs to rid his land of the Black Fairy. He says when he kills Emma, he’ll finally become a hero. He disappears, poof! in a puff of pick-a-color smoke. Okay, I wasn’t looking.

Emma finds Pinocchio, who thought she’d been captured. He asks what happened that she’s in the Enchanted Forest, and she says it’s a long story. He tells her how he desperately wanted to be a real boy, and it only took his father to make it so. He asks what he can do for her, and she tells him to build something to get her out of there. She wonders if he still has the enchanted wardrobe, but he dismantled it years ago. He thinks he can still help. He knows where the grove is that the wood came from, and thinks they might be able to replicate his father’s work. Emma asks Regina what she thinks, but there’s no Regina, only a note. Regina says she knows Robin isn’t real here, but needs to know if he’s better off without her, like everything else in the realm.

Regina looks through the window of the pub, and remembers seeing Robin for the first time. She goes inside and everybody freaks because she’s the Evil Queen. They all run, but Robin asks if she’s going to buy him a drink. He thinks she’s there for the necklace that he stole, but she wants to talk. She asks if he’s happy, and he says she’s a strange one. He tells her that his life is great, he answers to no man and sleeps under the stars. She says he was better off, and he asks why she would care. Before she can say anything, the Sheriff of Nottingham comes in to arrest Robin, and slaps a cuff on Regina. He says Robin comes with a bonus, and tells his men to take her too.

Pinocchio and Emma go to the enchanted grove. Pinocchio checks out his father’s tools, and picks something out. He says that a true wood carver must be in conversation with the tools and materials. Emma pulls out a sword and tells Pinocchio she’s no longer a princess, but a Savior. She explains that her fate is to die while protecting her family.

Hook comes out of nowhere to “rescue” Emma. He’s fat, has grey hair, and looks like an aging Jack Sparrow. Obviously, he wasn’t better off.

In Storybrooke, Gold tells Gideon that it’s lonely. Gideon says that’s his fate. Gold says fate is a tricky business that requires planning. Gideon believes that Gold thinks he isn’t strong enough. Gold says there are things a man learns with time, but Gideon tells him to get lost. He says Gold thinks he knows all about him, but he has no idea. Gold says that Gideon’s life has been full of pain, but if he wants someone to pay, let it be him. He tells Gideon to hit him. Gideon doesn’t do it, and Gold says if he can’t hit his father, how does he expect to kill the Savior? He says he can help, but Gideon says he doesn’t need his help.

Emma tells Hook to let Pinocchio go, and leave the rescue to the professionals. She says she doesn’t need rescuing and Pinocchio easily takes Hook’s sword from him. Hook says there’s a reward for Princess Emma’s return. Pinocchio asks if she knows him, and she says she knows another version of him, and they sort of live together in another world. She knocks Hook out with some magic, and says it’s time to go home and get someone off the rum. Hook disappears, but the tool is broken.

Emma asks if Pinocchio can fix it, but he says he can’t. She says they have other tools, but he says they need magic and he’s not good enough. He says he’s sorry she put her faith in him, and hopes she doesn’t make that mistake again.

Regina and Robin are locked in a cage in the forest. Robin says he’s going to die having accomplished nothing. She says he’s Robin Hood who robs from the rich and steals from the poor. He asks if she’s nuts, and tells her that he just steals from the rich. She finds out that Marion died before they got married. He says there’s no one. She asks if he’s happy. He says if she wants the truth, he hasn’t been happy for a long time. She says he never had love.

The horses begin to rear up and run away. The guards chase them. One approaches the cage and is blown back. Rumpelstiltskin appears. Regina asks him to take the cuff off. He says on one hand she helped him escape, and on the other, the woman he loved starved to death. He dumps out a bag of bones and says that’s her now. Regina assures him that she had nothing to do with that. He says he might not be real, but he has the feeling he can still make her bleed. Yikes.

In real life, David tells Snow he’s sorry he can’t wake her. He promises he’ll find their daughter, bring her home, and fix this. He and Hook try to make a plan. Belle says they’re looking for her son, Gideon. He grew up in another realm, and the experience affected him. She says Rumpel is out looking for him too. David wonders who Rumpel is helping, and Belle says she can stop him, but she doesn’t want anyone harmed. She trusts them, and asks them to trust her. David says when they find Gideon, she can try to get him to listen.

Back in the world of fairies, Rumpel pushes Regina and Robin into a cell, and locks the door. Robin is like, so, I’m living in a fake world created by the wish of a princess who isn’t fake, and I’m a folk hero in another version. Regina is surprised he believes her. He says he doesn’t mind believing that he lives a better life in another world. He asks if he’s a scoundrel there, and she says he’s dead. He asks if the other Robin had a good life before he died. Regina says she thinks and hopes so. He helped a lot of people, and loved his friends and family. And her. Robin says it sounds like a good life, even if it was too short. He tells Regina that he’s not just the world’s greatest thief, and breaks the lock. They leave the cell.

Emma is about to chop at the tree, and spies a carved box with her name on a gift tag tied to it. There’s a carved swan inside. She goes to Pinocchio’s ship and asks him what it is. He tells her happy birthday. He says he always liked swans, and talks about The Ugly Duckling. His father told him that if you believe hard enough in something, you can change your fate. Emma remembers him at the fire, and says, it was you. She says when she was a kid, Pinocchio gave her advice that changed her life. He says she became the swan. She hands him the magic spatula and says he can do this. If he believes he’s a master carpenter, he will be, and his life will change.

Pinocchio chops at the tree. Magic pops out of it, and he says it looks like the swan is going home.

Commercial break. No surprise. It’s for Beauty and the Beast. I’d love to see it on the big screen, but I’ve sworn off any movie below an R rating. The last time I saw something that was PG-13, I felt like I was in the middle of a bus during a field trip, surrounded by the light of phone screens.

Pinocchio builds whatever, and thanks Emma for believing in him. She says his father would be proud. He shows her the finished product – a new enchanted wardrobe. Regina and Robin arrive, and Robin asks if they’re getting back in a tree. Regina tells him sorry for dragging him in. He gives her a feather, saying she’ll have a piece of Robin. She tells him that when her Robin died, there was a feather that was lost. She’d hoped he was in a good place, and thinks somehow, he lives on in this Robin. Emma asks if she wants to bring him as her plus one, but Regina says he’s not real. How can a wish become real? Emma says if Regina believes that any part of Robin is in there, she should bring him, saying that they make their own fate. She did it, and now it’s Regina’s turn. Robin says he’s in. Regina tells him it might not work, but he says it might. She asks if he wants to take the risk, and he says it’s not that great there, so why not go with the woman who was willing to die for another version of him?

Pinocchio opens the door. Emma steps through and Regina thanks him.

In Storybrooke, Emma and Regina come through, but no Robin. Emma says she’s sorry, and Regina asks for a moment alone. While she’s meditating on her sadness, Robin appears. She hugs him. He’d probably hug back, but he has arrows and stuff in his hands. She shows him the town from the top of a hill, officially welcoming him to Storybrooke.

Commercial break. It’s for the Time After Time series premiere. I thought this show had been on already, since there have been ads for it for months. I’m not sure if I’ll get a chance to see it, but I loved the 1979 movie with Malcolm McDowell and David Warner.

Emma strolls down the street, thinking about her vision. Gideon appears and says he’s been waiting. She says she only knows one Gideon, and he’s a lot younger. She asks what he wants, and he attacks her. They battle with their swords. Emma’s sword goes flying, and Gideon has them both. The others run up, and Emma tells them to stay back. Belle tells Gideon that he doesn’t have to do this. He freeze frames everyone. He tells Emma that he’s not going to hurt them, just her. Her hand starts to shake, and he tells her that she’s fated to die. She says not today.

Emma blows Gideon back with magic and holds a blade to his neck. Gold begs her not to kill him. Gideon says he doesn’t need Gold’s help, and disappears. No poof, no smoke, just disappears. Emma is stunned that he was Belle and Rumpel’s baby. They suddenly notice Robin, and Regina explains about the alternate reality. Everyone hugs. We hear a typewriter.

Emma walks in on Pinocchio typing. He says he works in a cabin out there, so his father can sleep. She asks him if he knew it was her when she was little. He says he kept tabs on her for a while. He knew she didn’t belong on the streets, and had to make sure that she did too. Emma sees the book that she was going to burn in a box on Pinocchio’s table. He says when she picked Swan as a last name, it made him happy. He figured she got it, and was on the way to being the person she was supposed to be. She says she thinks she’s on her way to believing she makes her own destiny. He tells her that believing is the first step.

Gold finds Belle on the bridge, and asks if she’s making a wish. She says he succeeded in keeping Gideon from his horrible fate. He says Gideon had the power to make his own choices. He thought Gideon would make the right choice, and even though he was wrong, Gideon may still do it. Gold says that through his whole dark life, he’s sought out light, like her. He doesn’t want Gideon to kill anyone because it’s not the cure for his pain. He doesn’t want that for his son.

Belle says she protected Gideon, knowing what he wanted to do, and it can be easy to rationalize. Gold says, indeed it can. As they’re talking, Gideon is climbing up the stairs inside the clock tower. Belle wonders what they can do. Gold says if there is, they should do it together; not just for them, but for everyone. War is coming to Storybrooke.

Gideon busts out the clock’s face. It shatters everywhere.

Next time, Emma wants to break the curse, David needs a pirate, and Emma wants to know what Hook is hiding.

The Walking Dead

Michonne and Rick comb a house for supplies, gathering anything of value. Down in a van by the river, she thanks him for keeping watch last night. He says they’re getting batteries for the walkie-talkie and getting it to work again. They raid another house, fighting off some zombies. They get busy during a break. Rick is discouraged that all they have are two guns, some dented cans of beans, and some football jerseys, but Michonne says they’re fighting the fight.

They come across a group of Saviors playing golf. They see batteries in the back of their truck.

Back at the van, Michonne tells Rick that they have to get back. Rick wants to stay a little longer, and sounds like a kid who wants to stay up later. Michonne agrees.

Rosita stitches herself up. Tara tells her it’s going to work out. They have the numbers to fight; they just need guns. Rosita asks where they’re going to get them, and says she can’t just wait. Tara says they’ll get the guns and fight. Rosita says it’s not going to be easy; it wasn’t the last time. She says she’s going to find guns.

Rick sleeps while Michonne drives. Rick sleeps while Michonne makes coffee. She sees a deer and tells Rick to shhh! even though he was sleeping. She gets a gun, but the deer is gone. Rick says he owes her a deer. They look around the forest, making so much noise that every deer within miles has disappeared.

They see a fence with a half-fallen tarp on it. Rick bangs on the fence and a soldier zombie stumbles around on the other side. Rick sniffs a bullet casing and they look around. Michonne says something serious happened here a long time ago. Rick says there might be serious guns in there.

Rosita noses around an abandoned house. She starts to go inside, and a Mama June (not hot) type zombie ambles out. She slices mama’s head in half with a machete. She finds a gun, but it’s just a water pistol.

Michonne and Rick go to the top of a building. They see zombie soldiers and civilians wandering around a carnival. Cool! Let’s get those zombies on the Ferris wheel. Rick says there was a fight, and they’re still wearing their guns. Michonne shoots, and ends up doing well at one of the carnival games. Until she and rick fall through the roof. We hear Rick laugh. Because it’s all good when you’re in love.

Rick and Michonne lie there laughing. They look around and find a boatload of food. Some kind off pre-packaged “ready to eat” meals.

Rosita finds Gabriel at the church. She tells him she didn’t find any guns even though she was out there all day. She had a gun, and was going to kill Negan with it. If she’d done it, he’d be dead. Maybe she would too, but who gives a damn? She lists all the people who would still be alive, and says that she’s still there because she was stupid enough to listen to him. She tells him that he doesn’t know sh*t about sh*t, and he tells her she’s right. He told her not to do what she was planning because they needed her, and they still do. It’s easier to be dead, and if it’s his fault, fine, but he did what he thought was right. He says she can blame him for having life, but what is she going to do with it? Anything is possible until your heart stops beating. Since she can’t argue with that, she walks out.

Michonne and Rick open the boxes, pull out the meals, and dig in. Michonne makes a plan to get the others to fight with them and kill Negan, but she doesn’t know what happens after that. They’ll have to reorder the world once he’s gone. Rick says they’ll figure out how to work together. She thinks he should be in charge, but he doesn’t. She says he’d be good at it, if it’s something he wanted. He says he doesn’t think he would, and he doesn’t want it. He says they could work together, and he wants that, if she does. She says she wants that, and they kiss.

Rick says they can take their time. The place is clear, locked up tight, and they found the only way in. He thinks they should get back. He gives her a package of chili and mac and cheese together. That’s love. The zombies stagger about outside, while Rick and Michonne get busy inside. Honestly, I don’t know how busy I could get, or would want to get, with zombies lurking around several feet away.

Tara babysits Judith. She’s torn between telling Rick about Oceanside or not, and uses Judith as a sounding board. She says that the others should just fight with them, but they only want to hide because they fear the world. But if she tells everyone about Oceanside, it might end up proving their point. She wonders what makes their life worth more than the others, because they want to stop the people who want to hurt other people?

Carnival time! Rick and Michonne watch the zombies from behind a truck. Rick wants to block one of the gaps to make it easier for them. He wants to do it quiet with the sword. Michonne makes a noise, and takes out the zombies one by one as they come her way. Rick grabs a gun from a zombie soldier, who’s wedged halfway through the windshield of a car. Rick tries pulling him out by the feet, and the zombie’s foot comes off. Ha-ha! He pulls some more and the guy’s legs come off. Ha-ha! again. Rick finally gets him out of the windshield glass. Michonne joins him and they push the car toward the gap. He realizes that the breaks don’t work, and all of a sudden there’s gunfire from a soldier zombie. Michonne jumps into the trunk, and Rick steers the car to the opening in the fence. Zombies surround the car and claw at it. Rick says it was a great plan, and Michonne agrees that it was.

They jump off the car and behind some ride barricades. They run through the fairgrounds, the zombies trailing behind. They knock over the test-your-strength game, and it blocks the zombies for a bit. Rick asks if Michonne wants to go, but they both think they can do this. Rick goes in front of the Ferris wheel and coaxes the zombies forward. Michonne does the same thing by the big slide. As the zombies get to the gate, they’re dispatched; heads rolling, eyeballs squishing, blood spurting. Rick sees the deer, and jumps onto the Ferris wheel, climbing up to the top. He’s about to shoot the deer as zombies are coming toward it, and he falls off. Oh crap.

Rick is down, but grabs the gun, and starts shooting the zombies. Michonne runs toward him, gun drawn. When she gets there, she sees the zombies circled around something, eating. She looks sick, and tears roll down her face. She drops her sword. The zombies start to come toward her. She backs away, but she’s not herself.

Like Superman, Rick jumps out of a crate, and throws the sword to Michonne. They slice and dice the zombies. They hug, and Rick says he tried.

They gather up the guns. A lot of guns. Michonne has a moment.

It’s quiet on the ride back, but they got tons of supplies. I’d be hiding some of those somewhere. Rick pulls the van into the forest. He wishes they could have spent more time away. He says he hasn’t been sleeping, thinking about what they’ve lost, and the friends he couldn’t save. He says they went through something, and this doesn’t cure it. Michonne says she’s sorry. He says they’re going to fight them. They’re going to lose people, maybe even each other, but it will be worth it. Michonne says she can’t lose him. Rick says she’d asked him what kind of life they’d have by just surrendering, and it would be no life. Fighting the fight is living, making a future for Judith and the others. He says she can lose him. It’s not about them anymore; it’s about a future. If he doesn’t make it, she’ll have to lead, and she can. She asks how he knows, and he says she led him there.

Back at the Heapsters heap, Jadis asks if the guns are all operational. Rick says they need cleaning up. There are over sixty guns, but Jadis says it’s not enough. Rosita suggests they leave and take their guns with them. Jadis says no, and they haggle. Jadis gets to nine and they get the cat back, and Rick says twenty, and they fight together. Jadis says yes, and if they get more soon, they’ll fight. Everyone wanders around looking like they’re doing something important. Michonne tells Rick they have a few more days before what happens next. They’ll figure it out in a few more days.

Back in Alexandria, Tara is looking for Rick. He asks if she’s okay, and if she’s seen Rosite, who hasn’t shown up for her shift. Tara suggests that maybe she went out looking for more guns. She says she has something to tell Rick.

Rosita stomps through the streets, and sees Sasha at Abe’s grave. She says she needs Sasha’s help. Sasha says under one condition – she gets to take the shot. Rosita agrees. She asks if Rosita brought explosives, but Rosita felt that was taking too much of a chance. She has something better. She brings out a bazooka, and hands it to Sasha, so she can take her shot. Rosita says that Rick and Michonne found guns and the Heapsters wanted more guns. She thinks that means more excuses. She tells Sasha that she’s memorized what Carl and Daryl told Rick about the Saviors’ camp. Sasha says she has a map that Jesus drew for her. They discuss how they can’t be caught alive, and it’s a one way ticket for both of them.

Next time, Ezekiel rises up, Carol emerges, and there are lots more guns.

💣 Feud: Bette and Joan is perfection! The casting couldn’t be better, and the topic couldn’t be more current. For all the equality whining going around, not many people talk about how ageist our society is, and the scope is even narrower for actresses in Hollywood. Way back when, Joan Crawford recognized this, and brought the novel, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? by Henry Farrell, to Bette Davis’s attention, thinking it was the perfect vehicle for them both. Being no slouch in the brains department herself, Bette agreed, the rest is history, and their feud is legendary.

While both women are gone from this world, so there’s no one to confirm or deny, this interpretation of their relationship shows an almost softer side. While hating each other on a certain level, neither could deny the other’s talent or their admiration for it. Although “frenemy” wasn’t a term back then, they were the perfect example of it.

The cast is chock full of exceptional actors and actresses, like Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, and Stanley Tucci. I was also pleasantly surprised to see Jackie Hoffman playing Mamasita, Joan’s right hand person. I recognized her right away, pointing and shouting “Penny’s mother!” at the TV, as I’d seen her on Broadway in Hairspray.

And lest we not forget one star of any period drama – the clothes and props. So far, I’m enthralled. One of my favorite things in the world are those brocade dresses with matching coats that were so popular in the 1960s. My favorite Barbie outfit will forever be Evening Splendor. (However, I would not have paired the green/blue bag with this.)

barbieeveningsplendor

Feb27

February 27, 2017 – Eugene is Negan, an Oscar Story & a Medicine Quickie

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

The Walking Dead

A group of Saviors gathers around Fat Joey’s body. Dwight goes running inside, and finds that Daryl is gone. Didn’t take them too long to make that discovery. Only about six months.

Eugene is brought into the camp. You’d think by now he’d stop blubbering about everything. He’s led to a relatively nice room that has a microwave and refrigerator. Savior Laura tells him, welcome home. Could be worse. A lot worse. He starts looking at the books, and she tells him that there’s a library, and informs him about Daryl’s escape. He says the room is satisfactory, and she asks if he wants something to eat. After finding out one of the few things they don’t have is lobster, he asks for canned pasta – orangey – and chips. They have homemade chips. I’m in.

Eugene locks the door and looks in the fridge, where there’s beer, eggs and produce. He puts the radio on, and it’s that freaking Easy Street song. I start laughing. There’s no escape from it. Given a choice between hearing it over and over again, and being beaten to a pulp by Lucille, I’m not sure which I’d choose.

Dwight finds the note telling Daryl to go now. A bunch of guys bust into the room and beat the crap out of him, while Negan stands there with Lucille, watching.

Negan bangs on the door where Dwight is in solitary. He says they looked around and he realized he was short a wife – Sherry. He asks Dwight if he knows anything. Negan thinks It’s some coincidence that she’s gone just after Daryl is. He says someone must have opened the door, and Dwight says it wasn’t her. Negan asks if it was him. He says Dwight has legitimate gripes, and asks if he’s started to see things differently. He asks Dwight who he is, and Dwight says he’s Negan.

Negan opens the door. Negan says Daryl isn’t like Dwight; he’s emotional. Either Daryl is on his way home or on his way back to kill them. Either way, they’ll find him. He asks if Dwight thinks he knows where Sherry went. He does, and Negan tells him to fix what he can fix.

Dwight talks to Dr. Carson. The doctor thinks Sherri was soft and let Daryl go. He says Dwight was beaten unfairly, yet he stays. The kind of selfless soul that Sherry is, is the kind of person who isn’t expected to stay around anymore.

Dwight goes back to get his coat, and takes a pack of cigarettes out of a mounted fish’s mouth. He gets on his motorcycle and jets.

Laura shows Eugene around. She says they use a point system, depending on what people bring in. She suggests that he get a haircut, hands him a jar of pickles, and takes him out to Negan. Negan asks Eugene’s name, and then asks everyone else who they are. They all say Negan. He tells Eugene he might have to get real close to Lucille, and under normal circumstances, he might have let Eugene get close over and over again. He asks Eugene if he’s a smartypants, and Eugene says he is. He explains about how he taught himself to cast bullets. He says he reads a lot, and if knowledge is dropped, he picks it up. Negan says he’s some a-hole, but Eugene says he is not. He has PhD’s in several fields, is technically a doctor, and was part of the Human Genome Project before the zombie apocalypse.

Oops! Half of an impaled zombie falls off.

Negan says the problem with his system of keeping people out, is that the guard zombies fall apart. He asks Eugene how they can keep them on their feet. Eugene says they already have the means to fix the issue, an operational smelter. He explains how to pour liquid metal over both the fence and the zombies. Negan thinks it’s the coolest thing he’s ever heard – it’s practical and badass. He calls Eugene Dr. Smartypants. He asks if Eugene was doing valuable stuff like this for Rick, and says Rick’s loss, their gain. He wants to give Eugene a bonus, and Eugene says he was gifted some pickles. Negan says he’ll send some of his wives over, but no sex. He can have drinks, dinner, and laughs only. Eugene and his pickles get led away. Looks like Eugene is smiling a little.

Commercial break. Better Call Saul returns Monday, April 10, at 10 pm. This show was better than I expected it to be, and quite funny, although I lost track of it sometime during the second season. You can’t watch them all.

Eugene plays video games while he chats with wives Amber, Tanya and Frankie, although Amber is doing more drinking than talking. Frankie asks if he wants a massage, since she was a licensed therapist before the apocalypse. Eugene says he’s aware that none of them are there of their own volition, but Tanya says that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with him, and some intelligent conversation would be good. She suggests talking about the Human Genome Project. Eugene tells her that he’s not at liberty to discuss it, and they might not understand. It’s not a dis, he’s just stating a fact. They decide to do a science experiment.

Eugene carts a bunch of stuff outside. Frankie tells him to relax; he’s one of them. Like something you’d see your eighth-grade science teacher do if he wanted to get the class’s attention, Eugene mixes some ingredients, and a fat stream of foam comes shooting out. When this experiment is recreated later, on Talking Dead, I find out that this foam is called “elephant’s toothpaste,” which is a perfect description. And if you decide to try this at home, don’t touch it.

Dwight goes to his old house and calls out for Sherry. Everything is a wreck, and he picks up a pre-apocalypse photo of them from the floor. He takes the Daryl note out of his picket and compares it to something she had written, and the writing looks the same. We hear her reading the note that she’s left him with her wedding rings on top. She reminds him that he’s told her if they got separated, they should meet there, and he’d bring pretzels and beer. She says he’s lucky he doesn’t remember things. He didn’t want to live in Negan’s world, but she made him. Now he’s become everything he didn’t want to be, and it’s her fault. She says she let Daryl go because he reminded Dwight of who he used to be, and she wanted Dwight to forget. Being there isn’t better than being dead; it’s worse. She hopes he gets away, and remembers the good days, but she doesn’t think he’ll ever even read this. She wants to meet him, but can’t. She doesn’t know if he’d run away with her, take her back to Negan, or kill her. She’s sorry she made him into who he is; she loved who he was.

Dwight takes out a cigarette butt with her lipstick on it, and shakes his wedding ring out of the pack, putting it with hers. He leaves a six-pack of beer and some pretzels. Wow. That was kind of sad.

Frankie and Tanya knock on Eugene’s door. They need his help. Frankie says Amber just drinks and cries. They signed up for this, but she didn’t. Her mother needed medicine, and she thought she could live with it, but she can’t. She’s asked them to help her end it. He suggests they find a doctor. Frankie says that Amber wants to go to sleep and not wake up. Eugene says that’s wildly irresponsible, since she’ll turn when everyone is asleep. They tell him that they’ll take care of that end. He’s a good man, and they know he can make things. They’ll handle the rest. He says he’s not good, but he can jerry-rig a lethal toxin. Frankie says that he is good, and Amber will do it with or without them. He asks how much she weighs. If they can get her exact weight, he can cook something up.

A bunch of people are in line to get supplies. Eugene goes to the front and asks for cold capsules. The woman at the desk tells him to get in line. Eugene asks her number, and tells her that he’s now chief engineer who reports directly to Negan, which means she reports to him. He wants the capsules now. She gives them to him. Good for you growin’ a pair, Eugene! He takes a bedpan, a flyswatter, a sort-of sock monkey that he calls Grimblygunk, and the rest of the medication. Double good for you, Doctor Smartypants!

Dr. Carson asks if Dwight found Sherry, and Dwight says that he killed her. The doctor says that before they got there and understood, they were cowards. They don’t get to have big hearts, and Dwight needs to remember that.

Eugene is brought to a gathering of people. Dwight stokes the fire, and Negan paces around with Lucille. It’s face-burning time. Negan tells Eugene to pay close attention, and whacks Dr. Carson. Negan shows him a note that says good-by honey, and says he found it in the doctor’s desk. It’s from the bottom of the note that Sherry left for Dwight. Negan says the doctor left the door open, and let Daryl out so he could be the hero. Dr. Carson says that she’s the one who ran. Negan says she ran because she knew he’d blame her. Dwight told him that after she ran, she got eaten by zombies, and now a super-hot girl was killed because of him. Dr. Carson says that Dwight is lying, but Negan says why would he do that, and if he is, he’ll find Sherry and kill Dwight. He says all Dwight needed was a night in the hole to get his head on straight. Here comes the iron. The doctor begs not to be burned. Negan says he hates this sh*t and just say he’s sorry. Dr. Carson says he did it and he’s sorry. Negan says that’s all he had to say, and drops the iron. Then he throws the doctor into the fire. Amber is distraught, but I thought that was pretty good. Quick too. Negan says good thing they have a spare doctor, and he never should have doubted Dwight. He says he’s sorry, and Dwight say he’s not. Negan says, ice cold, he loves it.

Frankie and the Tanya come back to Eugene’s room. He says he made the pills, but they can’t have them. Frankie says Amber is counting on them. He says don’t insult his intelligence – the pills are for Negan. I’m guessing that he knew by the weight. They would have had to tell him the truth with that, because it would be deadly for them to under-estimate Frankie asks if Negan didn’t kill his friends, and Eugene says they killed his too. Frankie says they’ll tell Negan it was his idea. He says she’s replaceable; he isn’t. She calls him a coward, and he says that’s a correct assessment.

Eugene enjoys a pickle, and as soon as this show is over, I’m eating one. Negan knocks on his door.  He looks pissed. They stare at each other. Negan walks in. He asks how Eugene likes it, and if they’re doing right by him. He says he knows how hard it is to accept change but needs Eugene to understand that he doesn’t make this invitation to everyone, and doesn’t make it lightly. He tells Eugene that he doesn’t need to be scared. He just has to answer a question, a big one. He starts to ask who Eugene is, but before he can finish the sentence, Eugene says, he’s completely, stone cold Negan. He just needed to meet him properly, but he’s Negan.

The next morning, Eugene is outside, giving instructions on the molten metal and enjoying another pickle. Omg, I’m eating a whole jar after this. He and Dwight stand there, watching metal get poured over the zombies. Eugene says, “I’m Eugene, you’re Dwight, and we’re Negan.”

Okay. They might be reeling me back in here. The big question is, is Eugene really on board with the Saviors, figuring this is the safest route, at least for now; or is he a bigger smartypants than we thought?

Next time, Michonne and Rick take a road trip, Rosita can’t wait, and neither can I, because we’re getting zombies at an amusement park. The kind of thing I live for. 🎡

🎟 No new Housewives of Atlanta this week. I guess Bravo didn’t want to compete with the Oscars. I lost interest in the Academy Awards years ago. And no, it wasn’t after the Rob Lowe/Snow White fiasco. In 1986, I knew two of the nominees, one quite well, and the other just in passing. The late William Hickey, who’d been nominated for Best Supporting Actor in Prizzi’s Honor, had been my acting teacher for many years. I remembered him saying that if he was ever up for an Oscar, that he wouldn’t go unless he could bring his dog. I thought this was admirable. However, Bill did go, and I didn’t see his dog there. I’ve always wondered if he was wearing socks though.

The other was William Hurt (the two Bills!), who was up for Best Actor in Kiss of the Spider Woman. I’d done some work putting together charity events for off-Broadway’s Circle Repertory Theatre, and also volunteered to take tickets. During my time there, our paths crossed, as he was doing a fantastic play called Childe Byron in which he was playing Lord Byron. I watched it several times, and although he was already becoming well-known by then, he was very approachable and always kind. I was thrilled when he got the award (Bill Hickey lost to Cocoon’s Don Ameche), but I knew after that, there was nowhere for the Academy Awards to go for me, but downhill. There’s not much chance of me knowing another nominee, and even less of me being nominated, which is the only thing that could top that.

This year, sadly, it spares me from kudos to an industry that has become less about the work, and more about opinion, political and otherwise.

🏥 Married to Medicine‘s Heavenly summed up part two of the reunion perfectly when she called Mariah “dirty, dingy, and dusty.”