Category Archives: horror

Oct3

October 2, 2016 – A Count Visits Storybrooke, Fear the Dead Finale & NJ’s Jacqueline Loses It

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

The Evil Queen leads Zelena to the vault. Zelena doesn’t want to let her in, but that doesn’t matter. She needs supplies for a spell. She asks Zelena if she’s worried she’ll harm her better half, but Zelena says it remains to be seen which half is better. The Evil Queen says she just wants to teach Regina that she can’t escape who she is. Zelena asks what’s in it for her and the queen says a sister who’s more deserving.

Regina goes the Granny’s where the Untold Story people have gathered. She has the storybook with her and says she knows they’re afraid that their stories will play out. She says she’s just like them and they don’t have to be afraid. Whatever comes next, they’ll face it together.

Belle comes into Granny’s, looking for a new place to stay. Emma tells Hook she has an appointment to see Archie, so Hook leaves with Belle to help her out.

Henry asks a guy what his name is, wanting to see if his story is in the book. He says he isn’t important enough to be in there. An envelope with a fancy sealing wax closure arrives.

We flash back to the guy’s story – he’s Edmund, the Count of Monte Cristo. We’re at a ball and Edmund approaches the Baron. The Baron says he couldn’t be Edmund; he’s in prison. Edmund tells the Baron that he escaped, and although it took a decade, he’s now the man he wants to be. He pulls out his sword and stabs the Baron. The ballroom clears out and the Evil Queen applauds. She says it’s hard to find commitment like his. She wonders how long his next revenge quest will take and asks him for the names of everyone who has wronged him. In return, she wants help in getting some revenge of her own.

The envelope is an invitation for David and Snow from the Count. Regina says he wants his revenge and explains that she’d once hired him to kill them.

Archie tells Emma it’s a safe space and she can trust him. She tells him about her vision. She says she almost starts to win her battle against the hooded figure, but her hand starts shaking and she gets killed. He thinks maybe the more she talks about it, the less it will haunt her. She says she’s hesitant to tell her family because they would want to fix things and she’s supposed to be the savior. He says even saviors should get a day off. Emma gets upset when he encourages her to let them know and leaves Archie’s office.

David asks why Regina didn’t tell them about the Count. She says she’s clearly trying to put her evil ways behind her, and the Count didn’t get the memo. Snow says she hired him and she can fire him. Regina says that’s why she’s going to meet him instead of them.

Back in the day, Snow and David come upon a destroyed village. One person is alive – Edmund. He says when the queen attacked, everyone fled, but he stayed behind to put out the fire. Snow’s handmaiden, Charlotte, has nursing skills and gives him a salve for his burns. Edmund sees something in her eyes that he finds mesmerizing. He wants to go on the attack, but Snow says revenge isn’t going to bring anyone happiness and finding happiness is the best revenge. David suggests he work for them as a wine steward because that’s a great alternative to seeking revenge.

Regina meets Edmund. She tells him she’s calling off the murder. She says revenge won’t bring back the person you love, and if she can say that, anyone can. Edmund hurls his sword at her and she stops it in mid-air, but by the time she turns it around, Edmund is gone.

Emma tries to drive Snow and David to someplace safe, but the car hits an invisible wall at the Storybrooke border. She says obviously the Count doesn’t want them leaving.

Hook takes Belle to the Jolly Roger. She says she can’t stay there as it will risk Hook’s life. He says he had a hand in harming her and wants to make up for it. He says he needs to forgive himself and he’s not there yet. She says she’ll stay. She wanted to wait for Rumple to come around, but she has to do what’s best for her son.

Regina says it’s not the Count preventing them from leaving, and the only way for a protection spell to have worked is if someone got into her vault. Zelena shows up and Regina tells her about the spell, and says that Zelena is the only other one who could have opened her vault. Zelena says she doesn’t know who did it, but she’s tired of the inquisition and disappears, poof! in a puff of green smoke. Regina says she thinks the Count isn’t the only one they have to worry about.

The Count watches the Evil Queen dispatch a couple of knights. She asks him for a lesson in swordsmanship, but he says he has to go to Snow and David’s. She has a vial of poison for him to use, but he wants to know what they did to deserve death. She asks if he’s getting a conscience and he says to call it professional curiosity. She says the only thing on his mind should be how badly he wants his revenge. He takes the poison vial with him.

Rumpel appears, telling the Evil Queen that she’s still having someone else do her dirty work. She says that’s because Rumpel put a spell on Snow and David, so she can’t hurt them. She says she put the same protection spell on the count to protect him from Rumpel, telling him that the student has outgrown the teacher. He says they’ll see about that, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of grey smoke.

The Evil Queen shows up in Mr. Gold’s shop. He says he knew it was too good to be true, and she says she knows he’s happy that she’s back. He’s holding a coin and he says if she wants it, she has to leave Belle and his son out of her evil plans. She asks if he’s sure that’s all he wants. She says the Untold Story people aren’t the only ones whose plans haven’t played out. He asks why he would be interested in her and she tells him to look her up when he gets tired of waiting for Belle.

Edmund puts the poison into the wine. David says they need another glass for Charlotte, who has to leave to take care of her mother. Edmund pours the wine and says something about Charlotte’s eyes. They make a toast, but Edmund stops them from drinking. He says an occasion like this calls for something more special and he takes the wine away.

Regina and Henry walk around the Untold Story people’s crash landing. Regina tells Henry she can’t let the first story play out like this. She sees Charlotte’s body and says Edmund poisoned her with the wine meant for Snow and David. The Evil Queen appears and says that the handmaid’s tale played out and Regina’s will too. Regina says she thought she’d killed the Evil Queen. The Evil Queen asks if she thought it would be that easy and that after all they did together, this is what she gets. Regina realizes that the Evil Queen has been controlling the Count. The Evil Queen produces his heart and says Regina should be thanking her.

David and Snow see Edmund on the dock. David says it’s all a misunderstanding. Edmund says they have no idea and launches his sword at them. Snow says Regina has changed and doesn’t want this. David asks why he’s doing this, and Edmund says the Evil Queen has his heart. David says they’ll find a way to stop her; they always do.

In the old days, Rumpel shows up, asking Edmund why he didn’t poison Snow and David. Edmund says because of Charlotte. He says she didn’t deserve to die and if he’d killed her his revenge wouldn’t be so sweet. Rumpel says Snow and David don’t deserve to die either. He puts a spell on the door and says he needs them alive and procreating. Edmund finds Charlotte’s body and asks for the antidote. Rumpel says there’s no cure for this poison, but it can be stopped.

He shows Edmund a key and tell him it’s the key to where all untold stories are finished. If he goes there, Charlotte will live, but if he comes back, she dies.

Edmund tells Snow and David that he wanted a fresh start. Regina appears and sword fights with him. She says he can still have a fresh start and his story doesn’t have to end like this. He says it ended when Charlotte died. She says that she couldn’t save Charlotte but she can save him. She asks Henry to call for help, but the Evil Queen did something to his phone. Edmund approaches Snow and David who are now unconscious. Regina lets her sword fly and it runs through him. She cries over his body, but Henry says she did what she had to do.

Snow and David come to. Regina says she had no choice. The Evil Queen says that’s not true and that heroes always find a third way. Regina says she’ll rip the Evil Queen’s heart out. The Evil Queen says that’s the spirit. Regina realizes that the Evil Queen wanted her to kill Edmund. The Evil Queen says the little bit of darkness she revived is just a start. She says Regina will destroy everyone’s happy endings. She says the people from the Land of Untold Stories aren’t the only ones who don’t want their stories told, and when everything plays out, she’ll sit back and watch them tear themselves apart.

Snow tells Regina it’s not her fault and she didn’t have a choice. Emma says the Evil Queen wants her to doubt herself. Snow says she can’t be beaten by running away. She asks what the Evil Queen meant by them all having stories they don’t want told. Emma’s hand starts to shake.

Henry tells Hook he should have known better because sequels are never as good and then has to explain the concept of a sequel. Henry says the first time, the people wanted their stories told. David sees another envelope. It has the coin in it. He goes outside. The Evil Queen asks how he likes his gift. David asks why she gave it to him. She says we all have untold stories waiting to play out. He says the coin was his father’s good luck piece. Before he got drunk and died in a cart accident. The Evil Queen says she’s not interested in his daddy issues. She asks if he’s sure it was an accident, and disappears, poof ! in a puff of purple smoke.

Zelena hears her baby cry and finds the Evil Queen with him. The Evil Queen gives the baby a silver rattle that once belonged to her. She tells Zelena to consider it a gift for not telling Regina about her. She admires the ability to keep a secret. Zelena says it was a test and she’d thought the Evil Queen was different from Regina. The Evil Queen says she’ll never doubt Zelena again. She says she’s the sister Zelena wants because they’re alike in that they never settle for less, and Regina is literally the lesser of two evils.

Emma goes back to Archie. She says he’s right, but she’s not ready to tell her family yet. They talk about the Evil Queen’s return. Emma says she’s worried about who’s going to kill her. The one person who wasn’t with her family is Regina. Archie asks if she’s worried about Regina or the Evil Queen, but she doesn’t know.

No preview for next week.

Fear the Walking Dead

Ofelia’s car starts to overheat. She stops and gets out. She tries to remove the distributor cap and is attacked by a zombie. She slams the hood onto it’s arm, but another one comes after her. She manages to get a hammer out of the car and whacks it in the head, as well as the one that follows. A fourth zombie attacks, but she’s in the zone now. She takes a knife from his belt and stabs car hood zombie.

Now there’s a whole group of them coming, but they’re not moving fast, so she just takes a jug for water and leaves.

Commercial break. The next Pirates of the Caribbean movie – A Pirate’s Death for Me – looks great! Coming out in 2017.

Nick wakes up with Luci beside him. How does her makeup look so perfect in the grubby apocalypse? He goes outside and meets his recruit. They go to Alejandro’s pharmacy and Nick breaks into the drug cabinet. They load up a bag with medication and head out through the bus.

Travis wakes up with Madison sitting beside him in a chair. She says she’s been thinking. She says he kept his promise to Liza. He protected Chris and in this new world he’s safer with people who understand him. She says she’s going to remind him until he believes it. She says he belongs there and when he’s ready, come downstairs.

Nick and the other guy go to the gang market. He tells the guard they have Oxy, shows him the bag and they’re allowed in.

Alicia brings Travis some food. She opens the curtains. Nice view when there aren’t zombies cluttering it up. She tells Travis she’s sorry; she feels like she pushed Chris away. He says she had every right to be scared and that Chris is sick. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t believe her and protect her better. She tells him it’s okay.

Meanwhile, back at the gang market, Nick and the other guy (does he have a name?) meet with gang leader Marco. He’s planning an attack and says it will be like taking candy from a baby. Nick says if the gang will leave them alone, they’ll be there every week, on time. Marco says he likes Nick, but the game is over. They don’t need him anymore. He points out a guy who knows where all the drugs that are left are. He says they’re joining forces and are taking over. Marco shows him the dead bodies of the family who had been there the last time Nick delivered. He says if the people of Colonia aren’t gone by the time he gets there, they’re dead. Alrighty then.

Madison asks Hector how it went last night, and he says better than expected. A few guys who showed up late seeking medical attention are acting like bigot morons. It’s the group Chris was with, but no Chris. Madison asks if they were in an accident. They tell her that their truck rolled and now their truck is totaled and the driver is dead. There’s an argument as to whether the driver had a license. Madison asks if she heard right that one of them is Derek.

Madison goes to Victor and tells him that the guys who just showed up are the ones that Chris went off with. Victor tells her not to tell Travis. She says they need to find out what happened to Chris. Victor says that Travis left Chris with these men. He says she has an amazing daughter and lives with the hope that Nick will return. He asks if she thinks Travis can live without that hope. She says he’s broken and it would kill him.

Luci accosts Nick and says she can’t believe he made the drop. Nick tells her the gang is coming for them and they have to tell Alejandro. He says he’s sorry he snuck out, but he’d never lie to her. They go to see Alejandro. Nick says they have to leave now. A zombie pops up off an operating table and attacks Nick. Nick tumbles over the railing along with the zombie, and they fall onto a hospital bed with a patient in it. The zombie bites that guy’s nose off, as well as a nurse’s finger. Nick plunges his thumbs into the zombie’s eyeballs all the way to his brain. Good one. But who’s going to clean up that mess?

Alejandro gets bitten in the fray.

Ofelia goes through an opening in a wire fence. There isn’t much except tumbleweeds on the other side.

The Colonians do their chanting and send the bitten people out to the zombie wall. I guess amputation isn’t an option for the nurse? Luci asks Nick what’s wrong and he says they’re running out of time. He’s also eyeballing Alejandro.

Madison brings Andres to fix Derek’s shoulder. She wants to take them to a more private place, a room in the hotel, but the other people get up in arms because they were here first. It reminds me of the hospital where I used to live in Queens. Madison and Andres hustle the guys out.

Travis looks out the window and sees them, with the crowd following. Geez, for people who needed a doctor so desperately a minute ago, this bunch is pretty lively. He bangs on the window, yelling to Madison. Victor tries to stop him, but Travis runs outside. Travis pushes through the crowd and asks Derek where Chris is.

Nick starts to pack and tells Luci they’re leaving. He says faith is’t going to help when the shooting starts. She says Alejandro needs them. Nick says he won’t find any answers. Alejandro comes in and Nick asks if he cleaned it up well. He says Alejandro is frightened. Yesterday he was frightened of people leaving, and now he’s frightened of the bite. Luci asks what’s going on and Nick says he won’t be able to get her to leave unless Alejandro comes clean.

Alejandro says he’s not immune. Luci feels his forehead and says he’s warm. Nick says he’s infected. Luci says she saw him get bit before, and he says that’s what she wanted to believe. He says he told the story to build the place and protect people. Nick says he wanted them to build it to protect him, and he’s not committing suicide for a fraud. Alejandro says he brought Luci there under false pretenses, but the love is real. She’s his daughter. She says he’s dead to her.

Alejandro leaves and Luci tells Nick she’s not going. She says this place matters and it’s her home. Nick says she doesn’t have to die for it. She says they’ve fared better there than they did in the world. She says for most of them, it’s the first time they’ve had a family.

Ofelia trudges through the desert. Someone shoots at her. She hides behind a tree and gets the knife out. A guy with a rifle comes toward her. He makes her hand him the knife. He says welcome to America. I guess he’s the last of the border guards.

Madison takes Derek and Brandon to an office. Derek says he’ll tell them everything but can’t think with his shoulder the way it is. Andres pops it back into place. Travis asks what happened to Chris. Derek says he has to promise something first and Travis pulls on his arm. They want a car so they can get out. Madison says it’s done. He says he and Brandon were running on no sleep doing the driving and Chris volunteered. Derek says Chris must have dozed off the next thing they knew, they were rolling. He tells Travis that Chris was thrown from the car and dead when they found him. Travis is pretty upset and I’m not so sure this is the true story. He asks where Chris is. He says they pulled him out and buried him by the tree. Travis asks if he was thrown or they pulled him out. Brandon says he was thrown and Derek adds they pulled him to the tree. I actually don’t know which one is Derek and which one is Brandon, so I’m making that up as I go along. Why couldn’t one of them have died instead of Baby James?

Travis gets Madison and Andres out of the room, and locks the door. He proceeds to beat the crap out of Derek and Brandon. Madison bangs on the door telling him to stop. Derek says they killed Chris. They had to. We see Chris pulling himself from the car and his legs are all messed up. He starts crawling and Brandon shoots him. I’d say good riddance, but…

Travis kicks the crap out of Derek. Brandon tries to stop him, but he’s no match. Oscar has gotten the keys and tries to come in, but Travis slams the door on his head. Ouch. Brandon hits Travis over the head with a chair, but it only slows him down for a millisecond. He strangles Brandon until blood is coming out of his mouth. Damn. No more pacifism I guess. Travis kicks him in the head. His work is done. He’s lying in the exact same position Chris was in when he died.

Fear the Walking Dead – Part Two – Season Finale

Travis is tired after all that. He sits on the floor staring into space. Andres breaks in through the window. Madison tries to snap Travis out of it. Elena has Travis carted off. Madison follows. Andres says they’ll take him someplace safe. Victor tells Madison not to argue – it’s not helping. She asks Alicia for her knife. She goes into the office. She makes sure the guys are dead and then stabs them one in the eye and the other in the ear. Good. Now I don’t have to figure out who’s who anymore.

Luci tends to Alejandro. She says if the people find out, they’ll lose their faith and they’ll die like animals. She asks if he thought this day would come. He says beyond the walls is death and more death, and he did what he could to keep them together. She tells him he failed. He tells her Nick is right; it’s ending. Luci says only for him. She says he has to lie to them again before he goes.

Victor tells Madison that Travis failed her and put them in jeopardy. Madison says he’s lost too much to end up like this, and Victor it was her decree that he get put out. Alicia says after all this, he found them, but Victor says he can’t stay. Alicia says they can leave with him. They found this place and they’ll find another. Victor asks if she’s really going to leave for the man who abandoned her, and Madison asks him to come. Victor says he wouldn’t die for any of them. Aw, man, I like Victor.

Madison asks Andres how Oscar is. He says unconscious. Madison asks to give them until morning and they’ll never see them again. Elena agrees. Andres wants Travis out now, but Elena says Madison fought for them, and they should let her have Travis. She tells Madison they leave at dawn.

Madison goes to see Travis. She tells Alicia if she notices anything weird, to let her know. She tells Travis the plan. He says they can’t do this, but she says they’re not going to let him die. She says he found them and it was for a reason. He says it’s safe there and she says they’re leaving in the morning.

Nick has packed his ditty bag and is ready to go. He sees Luci and tells her to come with him. She asks where they’re going to go. He says they’ll find someplace safe until it isn’t anymore. He says the gang is going to slaughter them anyway. She says they’ll die no matter what and this is no place for boys, so run. Oh, snap!

Alicia approaches Andres. She wants to help, and asks if Oscar has regained consciousness yet. Nope. Andres says his pupils are dilated and he thinks Oscar’s brain is swelling. He’s going to have to take the pressure off. Hector is there and tells Alicia to get lost. Eeek! Andres cuts into Oscar’s skull and it disturbs me a million times more than the zombie biting the guy’s nose off.

Alejandro speaks to the people. He says the rumors they’ve heard are true. The men with guns are coming to kill them. It’s the evil of men that the earth is purging. They need their faith more than ever and must not fear. Nick looks down at the zombie wall from the top of the bus. Alejandro says anther destiny awaits them; they’ll overcome the evil and protect their home. More powerful than weapons or evil is their faith, and they have each other. Nick bloodies up and goes out. Alejandro says the time to defend what’s theirs is now. Nick sees a helicopter through his binoculars.

Andres slices into Oscars skull and I cringe.

Travis tells Madison whatever part of him she thinks is the same, it’s not. He says he’s not sorry they’re dead, and she says he shouldn’t be; they deserved it. She says she’s no better than Travis either; she’s worse. She says they’ve both killed. She tells him that she locked Cecelia in with her dead to protect Nick. She understands what he did and why. She says he’ll do it again because they have to. She can face it if he’s with her. He says he’s here.

Now Oscar is all messed up and Andres is upset. Hector says it’s not fair that the others are safe in their beds . Andres, who’s medical abilities are questionable at this point, pokes Oscar’s brain with a screwdriver or something.

Andres breaks into Madison’s room. They start to kick the crap out of Travis, and Madison says they’ll leave now. Andres pulls out a gun. He says Travis killed Oscar, but he had to deal with it. Travis tells them not to do this in front of Alicia and Madison. Then he goes berserk. Victor comes in with a gun and tells everyone to get out. He can’t believe what he’s seeing. He tells Madison and Travis to run now. They grab Alicia and go.

They get in a car, and Madison tells Victor to come. Instead, he hands her the gun. He says he’ll be okay and to get going now. They leave. Just in time. Travis drives right through the wrought iron gate. Victor watches. I’ll miss Victor. I hope we see you again.

Alicia looks traumatized and it’s silent in the car. Madison says they’ll be okay. She’s said that at least a dozen times already.

Alejandro looks like he’s going to shoot up. Nick walks in. Alejandro thought he left, but he says he saw something and came back. Yeah, the drugs. Alejandro is pretty shaky, so Nick helps him like the pro he is. He asks if Alejandro if he’s afraid of dying. Alejandro says he can still fight and still help. Nick says be brave, but careful, using the same words that Alejandro told him. If the gang comes and they’re still here, it’s over. He says Alejandro is being brave with other people’s lives, but Alejandro says he cares about his people. Nick says he wanted to be a great man and if he still wants it, give them permission to run. Alejandro asks where they’d run to and Nick says north. He saw a Medivac helicopter landing across the border. Nick says his people will never have to know. Alejandro says there’s a weight that comes with being a leader. Nick says he and Luci are up for the challenge. He says if Alejandro tells them to go, his people will live and he gets to die a beautiful death. He gives Alejandro the drugs. Alejandro slips into dreamland.

Travis stops at a bullet riddled gang supermarket. It’s empty. Madison says there was an office upstairs where Marco was asking about Colonia and Nick. It stinks in there, and it’s from the bodies of the family the gang killed. Madison says it’s the people who knew Nick. She rifles through their pockets for something that might tell them where the people lived. Alicia asks Madison what she’s doing. Well, I don’t think she’s looking for cash.

The Colonians better get moving. Here comes the gang. They break down the pre-wall wall and go into where the zombies are. They shoot a few and get into the bus. Marco thinks it’s too easy and the Colonians must have run. The place looks deserted. Yep, they’re gone. Maybe. It could be a trap.

Alejandro is still there, and spies on them. I’m wondering if he’s going to blow the place to smithereens with these guys in it. Marco says they left and hid like cucarachas. Alejandro goes into the bus, even though he can barely walk. He starts the bus. Marco is like what’s up with that noise? Alejandro drives the bus away from the gate, letting the zombies in. Ironically, he might be the only one alive after this.

Nice crane shot. Zombies and gang guys. The gang shoots at the zombies wasting a million more bullets. The gang leaves Marco there and run to hide like cucarachas.

The people of Colonia hit the streets bloodied up. They’re going north with Nick and Luci leading. Another crane shot. No expense was spared for this finale.

Commercial break. It’s the trailer for the new Gears of War game. Whoa. It’s pretty cool looking. I don’t play video games, but if I did, I’d play this one.

Travis, Madison and Alicia drive to Colonia. They tell Alicia to wait by the gate. She sees Alejandro in the bus and goes to investigate. Travis picks up guns as they walk through the town, but all they see are zombies. Madison says everyone is dead. They back up and leave the way they came. Alicia puts a jacket under Alejandro’s head. She says he’s alive…for now. Madison tells him that she’s looking for her son Nick. She asks if he’s still alive and Alejandro says border. He tells her Nick saw something and then breathes his last. Alicia gives Madison her knife.

Nick and crew walk through a billion cars at the border. Nick takes out his binoculars. He sees smoke in the distance and another helicopter. He says it looks like a refugee camp, maybe a couple of hours away. All of a sudden, they’re attacked by men with guns. Luci is hit. Nick grabs her and they hide behind a booth.

One of the guys finds them. Luci and Nick are separated and Nick gets a kick in the head.

See you next season!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Joe #2 thinks he hurt his back skiing. Dolores talks to him and Melissa about what she perceives as Robyn’s erratic behavior and says that they should ask her to leave. Siggy comes in and tells them that Jacqueline says she’s leaving if Robin doesn’t go. Melissa suggests they talk to Teresa to see what she wants to do, and Joe says this is better than the movies.

Dolores relays this information to Jacqueline. Jacqueline says Teresa can be frustrating, but she loves her. She starts getting weepy, saying that people want to latch on to Teresa. In her interview, Siggy says she thinks Jacqueline is making a bigger deal than necessary. She wants to protect Teresa, who hasn’t asked for protection. Jacqueline informs us that she just got her period, which might explain this emotional display over nothing.

Melissa tells Teresa that Jacqueline feels threatened by Robyn. In her interview, Teresa says Jacqueline is playing the victim and didn’t act threatened at the time. We flash back and nope, she didn’t. Teresa says she’s not asking Robyn to leave. Robyn comes to Teresa’s room and says she’s leaving because she wants everyone to have a good time. Teresa is bummed and says she’d rather be off somewhere just hanging out with Melissa. In the car with Melissa and Joe #2 on the way to dinner, Teresa says Jacqueline instigated things, even sitting on Robyn. Yep, she did.

The group meets at a restaurant. Teresa sits as far away from Jacqueline as possible. She asks if they noticed two people are missing. Jacqueline wonders how Teresa feels about that. Teresa says she doesn’t think Jacqueline felt threatened, since she even sat on Robyn. Jacqueline says Robyn said she wanted to rage on her ass, so she was giving it to her because she’s so accommodating.

Teresa asks why Robyn would say that in the first place? Jacqueline says she doesn’t know and she offered to leave. Teresa calls her calculated, which I believe translates to calculating. Teresa says Jacqueline thinks that Robyn has a reputation, but she isn’t aware of any. Jacqueline gets up and puts her coat on. Chris says Teresa and Jacqueline have known each other a long time, and Teresa should trust her since her heart is in the right place. Siggy says no one knows how the situation started. Jacqueline says it doesn’t matter, but if they had both stayed there would have been a fight, creating a problem for Teresa who’s on probation. Teresa says Jacqueline should have just walked away. Teresa suggests maybe Jacqueline wanted a “soldier” and was disappointed. Jacqueline feels that Teresa has hangers-on that are using her and those are the people she calls soldiers. Jacqueline suddenly starts asking Melissa if she didn’t track down the rumor mongers who’d said Melissa was a stripper. And there goes Jacqueline’s finger in Melissa’s face. Melissa tells her to chill. Jacqueline gets louder and Melissa says Jacqueline is secretly pissed that she and Teresa are getting along. Jacqueline says Melissa is full of it. In her interview, Jacqueline says Melissa is acting weird and calls her a soldier. To her face, she calls Melissa a fake, phony bitch. Everyone’s mouths are hanging open. Joe’s eyes bug out and I literally lol. Jacqueline whips out her phone to call I don’t know who for support. In his interview, Chris says Jacqueline is hurt, and he thinks Melissa and Teresa don’t give a flying.

Melissa asks what she did to Jacqueline. Jacqueline gets even louder, saying Melissa wouldn’t answer her question, so she’s not answering either. Teresa asks Siggy if she thinks this is normal behavior. Melissa tells Jacqueline there’s been something wrong with her for a while. Siggy says Jacqueline feels that no one has her back. Teresa says she doesn’t like Jacqueline getting in Melissa’s face because it makes her feel threatened. Jacqueline gets up, yelling like a banshee, calling Teresa a criminal, and flings her whole arm around. She says Teresa is a twisted bitch who hated Melissa. In her interview, she welcomes the real Teresa home and calls her a psychopathic narcissistic sociopath who is trying to rewrite history with lies. All this over basically nothing. Jacqueline leaves the restaurant with Chris in tow, because she’s best at being a rude a-hole and then running away.

When they get outside, I can’t believe that Chris tells Jacqueline she was attacked. Melissa says a good person would be happy for them and Jacqueline is jealous of her and Teresa’s friendship. Siggy tries to fix it by explaining how Jacqueline feels. Teresa says Jacqueline shouldn’t have been sitting on Robyn, but Siggy says that Robyn did start it. Dolores says Jacqueline was crying all day about how she loves Teresa. Joe #2 says they need to knock that stuff off and talks about how nasty Jacqueline was when Teresa came home. In her interview, Teresa says she should have seen it coming and brings up Jacqueline’s past fights, including punching Caroline in the face. Melissa says she thinks Jacqueline really hates Teresa. Siggy says Jacqueline is fragile and Teresa says she’s f-ing fragile.

Back at Teresa’s house, Joe #1 and the girls get take-out. Audriana says she wishes daddy had more days before he leaves. Joe says he’s going to get skinny. Melania suggests his belly is too stretched out to get small again. She says he’s fatter than pregnant people because she’s ever the soul of tact. He gives the girls instructions and says he’s going to be checking on them every day.

In the car, Jacqueline says she’s not crying because she sees them for who they are now. Oh, the drama from this girl.

Dolores says that she bets if they knock on the door, Jacqueline won’t open it. She hopes Chris is up and we see him snoring. Siggy sees the bags packed. She says no one hears where Jacqueline is coming from, and Jacqueline says a lot of nasty stuff about Teresa, claiming she and Melissa don’t deserve her in their lives. I agree, but not for the same reasons.

Melissa says she hasn’t been yelled like that since high school and it was the same level of rancor as if she had been sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend.

Siggy says she can’t make people like each other. She says Jacqueline is upset about Kathy and Rosie. She just wants to know that Teresa and Melissa have her back. In her interview, Dolores says she knew this was coming, but poor Siggy didn’t. OMG – Siggy goes on and on and on about it and how she’d walk home if she could. She says she doesn’t want to jet around Vermont tomorrow, but Dolores suggests she sleep on it.

Teresa calls Joe #1 and tells him how Jacqueline got in Melissa’s face and then called her a criminal. HA-HA-HA! Joe says he had a hard on before she started talking to him about Jacqueline. TMI, but funny.

Dolores tells Siggy that Jacqueline left and Siggy says she’s jealous.

Melissa says she doesn’t feel like she lost a friend, but like she never had one. She thinks Jacqueline just kept her around to keep an eye on her. Teresa says she puts her friends on the spot, which isn’t a true friend.

Melissa and Teresa go to Siggy and Dolores’s room. Siggy says she’s leaving today. She’s overwhelmed. In her interview, she has to bring out a little fan because talking about Vermont giving her a hot flash. Really, this isn’t that big a deal. She says this group of women don’t belong together. Melissa says they came here to give Teresa some fun. Siggy says she’s about peace, not war. Teresa asks Dolores to weigh in and she gets ridiculous, pounding on the counter, saying she’s stressed and needs to be alone. Okay, Greta Garbo. Teresa says she understands and they leave. Siggy says she’s relieved.

Jacqueline is trying to decompress. Chris says it’s good to step away from toxic environments. Kathy drops by and before five seconds go by, Jacqueline and Chris talk about Jacqueline being attacked. Chris says Jacqueline was hurt and they had the wrong person’s back. Jacqueline says she called Teresa a criminal when she meant to say con artist. Like this makes it better.

Melissa and Teresa go on a skycar ride and they both start screaming before it even gets going. Teresa talks about Joe #1 going to prison and how she doesn’t want to deal with it. She just pushes the thoughts and feelings away. They both get teary and Melissa says she’ll get through it. Teresa says the beginning was the hardest and Joe cried every time he visited. Melissa says they’ve been through a lot together. Teresa says she’s thankful for Melissa’s support and she can feel the love. Melissa jokes about how they started off the trip with so many people. She says they’re not going to let other people ruinng them any longer.

Next time, Dolores wants to know if Jacqueline is done, Melissa tells Siggy to watch her back, Kim D gets air time, and Melissa confronts Derek.

Sep26

September 25, 2016 – Storybrooke is Back, Travis & Chris Part Ways, & New Jersey Goes to Vermont

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Like Willy Wonka, I am striking that and reversing it on Sunday nights, and it’s zombies before Wives. Now that Once Upon a Time is back, I had to switch my TV viewing sequence around.

Once Upon a Time

We are in an Arabian kingdom, flying carpets and all. A man says the kingdom is in great danger and they need a savior, but the savior is not seeing anyone today. The man is persistent and Jafar pops out and turns him into dust, along with the woman who was fielding the savior’s visitors. Jafar tells the savior that when they met, he was a common thief, and the fate of saviors is to give, breaking off their branches until all that’s left is a shaky stump. He says you never hear the words “happily ever after” about a savior. It’s Aladdin he’s talking to and he tells him to take care.

Hook and Emma are making out on the couch. The earth moves, but not in a good way. They go outside and see a ship floating through the air – awesome! It’s a dirigible from The Land of Untold Stories. Hyde appears, tells everyone that it’s his and that The Dark One gave him the town.

Regina and Emma zap Hyde, but he just laughs. He says nothing is more dangerous than an untold story and the people who don’t want them told. The dirigible crashes in the forest.

Emma and the others check it out. Snow says it looks like the people inside ran. Jekyll says he may be able to salvage a weapon to take down the stranger. Emma has a vision about fighting someone. Hook asks her what’s up, but she says nothing.

Rumple looks for Hyde. He’s exchanged the keys to Storybrooke for the answer to waking Belle. Hyde has told him in the Temple of Morpheus there are sands that will allow him to walk in Belle’s dreams and he can wake her from there. Rumple uses the sand and meets Morpheus in the forest. He tells Rumple welcome to Belle’s dream world and asks if he’d like to wake her up.

Regina visits Zelena and tells her what happened with Hyde. Zelena suggests barbecuing Hyde and puts her daughter down for a nap. Regina says nothing is working and they need to plan. Zelena has an arrow feather from Robin for her, but can’t find it. Regina puts a protection spell over the house and the vault.

Snow tells Regina that Jekyll finished his weapon, so they might not have to worry about protection. Regina tells Snow about Zelena forgetting where she put the feather, which she thinks is odd behavior. She decides to forget about it for now, since heroism comes first.

Hyde is holed up at the town hall. Regina pretends to have Jekyll prisoner to lure him outside. She tells Hyde to leave town and Jekyll is his. He suggests she keep both Jekyll and Storybrooke, and not embarrass herself. She distracts him while Emma aims Jekyll’s weapon, which looks like a small mortar, but she has another vision. She starts to shake and Regina almost gets strangled by Hyde. Emma finally shoots and Hyde becomes their prisoner. He tells Emma that he knows more than she does, and if she wants to know what’s happening to her, she knows where to find him.

Emma is all weird and shaky, while she’s messing around the dirigible. Archie (otherwise known as Jiminy Cricket) and Pongo come by with coffee. Emma says her parents must have sent him and she’s not in the mood for therapy right now. He says she’s been fighting forever and now that the walls are down, it’s let in collateral damage. He says there are no short cuts to fixing the big problems.

Emma goes to see Hyde. He calls her a smart girl, and she says keep calling her girl and he’ll find out how smart she is. He wants her to take off the cuffs. He says prisoners respond to carrots and sticks and she has neither. She starts to leave and he says he knows about the battle in her mind’s eye. She tells him that she’s been in prison and the worst part was being alone. She says she knows how he feels, and he can spill the beans or stay lonely. He can sit there in silence and rot. Hyde says she did come with a stick after all and it’s impressive except for one small thing – she’s afraid of him. He tells her he brought someone to help her with her problem, and to follow the red bird. He wonders if she’s ready for her story though.

I swear Rumple just said Belle is dreaming about White Castle, but I guess he said the white castle. He and Morpheus go into the castle and Belle acts like a servant. Morpheus tells Rumple that’s how she sees herself in her dream and he’s a beast. Morpheus sets up a giant hourglass timer. He says if Rumple doesn’t wake Belle in an hour, she’ll end up with a fiery fate. Rumple says he’ll make her fall in love with him again.

Morpheus says the castle terrifies Belle, but Rumple says it’s also where they fell in love. He says his love for her and their child will never be a lie. Belle brings tea and Rumple comes out in full Rumple regalia. Belle is all nervous and drops a cup, but he says everything is cool and maybe she should take a break. She asks him what’s going on. He says he has a ball to attend later and he asks her to dance. They dance to the music from Beauty and the Beast. He says there’s one more thing they need and he zaps the yellow ballgown onto her. She asks what’s come over him, and he says maybe he’s tired of being a beast. Very nice scene.

Zelena comes to Regina’s house and asks her if she got Hyde. Regina says yes, but it’s the first time she’s been back since Robin died. She asks Zelena to go. Zelena says they should be helping each other, but Regina says not this time because she blames Zelena. Zelena says what about Emma, who dragged her to hell? Regina says she chose to go, but she trusted Zelena, and Robin’s soul was destroyed. Zelena says Regina ripped out the part of her that made them most alike. Zelena says she and the baby will be gone by tonight, and she disappears poof! in a puff of green smoke.

Snow and the gang look for the people from the dirigible. Snow can tell that they’re afraid. She calls to them, saying Hyde is locked up and they want to help. They see shadows of people with torches come out of the forest. Snow tells them they’ll be at Granny’s where there’s food and shelter for them.

Emma walks through the forest with Hook and sees the red bird. She asks him to go and he knows something is up, but leaves. Emma follows the red bird. She sees a girl who says the bird is her pet. She says she knows many things, including why Emma is there. She says the visions tell a story of her future.

Regina is doing a locator spell when Henry walks in. She’s trying to find the feather and Henry says it’s not working because it’s looking for Robin and he’s gone. Regina says Hades told her that Robin’s soul was destroyed, but Henry believes that he’s in a special place.

Belle and Rumple dance. She says it’s a shame he’s been alone for so long and he says he wasn’t always alone; there was a son who left because he saw the darkness. Rumple says he had a chance to change but was too frightened. Belle asks if he could change now, would he? He says for her, he would be the best man he could be. They kiss.

All of the memories come flooding back. Belle says they’ve done this before and she can’t do this again. He explains they fell in love and got married and now their child is in danger. She put herself to sleep, but he needs her to wake up now. She says she loves him and believes he loves her, but together they cause heartbreak. Morpheus pops in and says he had to be sure Belle wouldn’t fall for Rumple’s lies again. Now he can wake her up with true loves kiss. She says she doesn’t know him and he says she’s known him since the day he was conceived. He’s their son and it’s his dream too. He says don’t let Rumple destroy them like he did his lost family.

Morpheus gives Belle a kiss on the forehead and she wakes up. Belle tells Rumple that their son was testing her, pretending to be Morpheus. Rumple says they can discuss it at home and makes sparkly, blue swirly things in the mirror. Belle says her son gave her a warning and she’s going to listen, and walks into the mirror.

The girl says she’s called an oracle, but knowing the future is a heavy burden. Emma sees herself battling a hooded figure. The Storybrooke crew are running toward them as Emma’s sword gets knocked from her hand. She tells the hooded figure she’s not going to let them get hurt. Her hand starts to shake and he runs his sword through her. The oracle says this is just a small piece of her end story. She can change the destination, but the result will be the same. She’ll die in the battle she saw. Since no one really dies on this show, I wouldn’t be too worried.

Emma goes back to Hyde. She asks him what’s coming and how to stop it. She says no matter what, she’ll defeat it. He says that’s what saviors always say, but there’s always a villain to bring them down. She has to ask herself if helping others is what causes her story to end.

Emma joins Hook at the bar. He says she’s in a better mood, and she tells him it was just stress, and Archie helped her. He asks if she’s sure and she says she is, and joins him in having a drink.

Snow tells Regina it will work out. Snow takes Regina’s hand and Regina says she was an awful stepmother. Snow says that’s in the past. Regina asks how she held up during those terrible times. She says the only way she could stay alive was to never give up and Regina is the one who taught her that hope is a choice. Regina says Hades was wrong; Robin is at peace. She’s been thinking about how the people with untold stories were hiding, and she says that’s exactly what she used to do. Her life had stopped. The only story she heard was the one she told herself, that she was the evil queen. She forgot the most important thing, that life isn’t just one story, there’s many. To some, she’s a villain, but to others, she’s a hero. They see her strength and ability to do right, even when she thought she couldn’t. She’s going to start a new story and chooses to believe this story will have a better ending.than the last one.

They walk off together, and we see a feather drop to the ground.

The untold story people are at Granny’s getting clothing and food. Belle looks out from inside Mr. Gold’s shop. Emma is looking mighty shaky.

Zelena comes home and sees Regina. No, it’s the Evil Queen. She tells Zelena that all she ever wanted was a sister, and when she got her wish, it was the wrong one. Zelena is shocked the Evil Queen is alive and she says she can’t be gotten rid of that easily. The Evil Queen suggest they have a drink and that it’s time for some sisterly bonding.

This season, the secret of the savior is revealed, Cinderella joins the team, and the Evil Queen and Zelena join forces.

Fear the Walking Dead

A crowd of people beg to come into the hotel. Alicia says it’s a mistake, they don’t have anything. Madison says sorry. The people grab at the gate. There is shouting and crying. Madison sees Travis among them.

Poor Mr Spanish Guy lies dead with Chris standing over him. Baby James is still alive. Travis takes charge and says he’s going to try and stitch up the wound. He runs to the house to look for whatever he can find, rifling through drawers. Surprisingly, he’s quite good at stitching, even though Baby James is twitching and whining the whole time. Now he has to do the exit wound. He says after he does that, they won’t move him until he’s better and Baby James finally shuts up. He ain’t called Baby for nothin’. I’m very impressed at both Travis’s cool and his skills.

Travis buries Mr. Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is with his family. Suarez! It’s Suarez. Now that he’s in the ground, I have his name. Travis is working on some kind of adrenaline because he’s just flying through all this.

The guys cook a chicken for dinner. Travis asks Baby James how he’s doing. His pain is only level 3 or 4, so he’s doing pretty well. Travis says he can’t help him if he doesn’t know what’s going on, so if anything gets worse, let him know. Travis asks Chris to talk. He tells Chris he killed a man today, and the least he could do is let it affect his appetite. Travis wants to know what he’s thinking. Chris says the guy shot his friend, what was he supposed to do? Travis says they’re savages. Chris says this is how it works now – no more good or bad, no right or wrong, it’s kill or be killed, sorrynotsorry. He tells Travis how he would hide every recess in middle-school and Travis told him to play along and fit in. Travis says the operative phrase was play along. Chris says Travis has proved his worth, and be careful how he plays it because they need theses guys .Travis says he doesn’t need them, but Chris says he does.

Madison tells them to open the gate for Travis. They manage to get Travis through a small opening while keeping the others out. He and Madison cling to each other.

Travis looks out from a balcony. Madison asks if he wants a shower, but he says no. You sure about that? She asks if he wants food and he says he doesn’t need anything. He asks where Victor is, and she says he ran off, possibly to Tijuana. She asks about Chris. Travis gets a weird look on his face and goes inside. He tells her he had no choice and she asks where Chris is.

We go back to earlier. The chickens have run out, so it’s moving day. Baby James claims his pain is at zero, but Travis is skeptical. The guys want to go to San Diego. Travis repeats that it’s burned and Chris says they never actually saw that. The guys all insist on leaving, but frankly, I think James looks scared.

Travis looks at Mr. Suarez’s grave and then goes inside the house .He looks at all the family pictures on the walls. Damn. And I thought I had a lot of photos. He finds Mr Suarez’s license and makes a grave marker using the info. Like this means anything. Chris says they’re leaving, and Travis says too bad, he’s finishing this.

Travis joins the rest and they slide Baby James into the bed of the truck. He doesn’t sound like his pain is a zero. Travis rides in the back with Baby James and Chris. They start off and already James isn’t looking too good. Travis checks his pulse and tells them if they don’t stop, Baby James is going to die. He barely has a pulse. They go back.

Travis hears Chris talking with the others. Travis tells them they need to give Baby James more time. He says they can survive there for enough time for James to heal. He tells them Baby James is scared of them, and he’s starting to get why. Travis grabs Chris’s gun. One of the guys says he doesn’t have the balls to use it and Travis shoots close. The guy jumps up, brandishing his own gun. Chris asks why Travis is doing this and he says he’s doing it for him.

Travis tends to Baby James. He tells him his buddies want to put him down. Baby James asks why Travis thinks he agreed to get in the truck? He tells Travis about another friend, Troy. He was sick and they knew he was going to turn, and kept their promise to kill him if he did. He says when the time came, he begged them not to do it. Baby James ended up doing the dirty work. Travis says it’s all the same no matter where they go, just different people. He tells Baby James he’s not sick or dying, he just needs time. Baby James says it doesn’t matter, what matters is they think he is and he’s considered dead weight. Travis fingers the gun.

James sleeps while Travis guards him. Chris knocks at the barn door, saying he wants to talk and brought food. Travis tells him to set it down and frisks him. He says the others are down the road. Travis tells him to sit down. Chris says he gets it and Travis asks what he gets. Chris says he understands why Travis is trying to save people, because life matters. Chris says they’ve known Baby James since he was six and still want to kill him, so imagine what they might do to him. I wouldn’t trust this kid as far as I could throw him.

Yep. Travis is caught off-guard and Chris gets the better of him and lets the others in. Baby James begs for his life and Travis says don’t do it. Too late. Baby James is dead. I knew Chris was faking it – playing along. Travis is seriously bummed. Chris has his gun back and they guys pack the truck up again. Travis wants to talk to Chris. He tells Chris the name of the farmer and says he was born on Chris’s birthday. He tells Chris that this is forever and he’s barely 16. If he drives away, Travis will never find him. Chris tells him that his way doesn’t work. Travis promises to take care of him. Chris says by letting him go, he is. He says he’s adapting and better off without Travis. He says Travis found it in him to kill Chris’s zombified mother. Travis says there’s a difference and Chris says, no, there’s not, so that settles it. As they drive away, Travis begs Chris not to go. Then curses him out. I’ll bet we see Chris and the bros somewhere down the line again. Travis starts to walk.

Travis tells Madison he walked for two days and saw the hotel light, and what are the chances? He’s bummed about leaving Chris, but Madison tells him they’ll get through this. He says he failed his son and his wife. He goes back out on the balcony. Madison says he said it himself, there was no choice. Travis says he could have gone along with it. It would have been wrong, but he would have done right by Chris. Madison says he’s still out there. Travis says he was wrong when Chris threatened Alicia, and they should be parents first. Madison did what she was supposed to, but his priority should have been Chris. He says the whole time he was walking, he thought about how he should have told Chris he loved him. Instead, the last thing he said was “God damn you.” He says when Chris was a boy, he had a big heart, but by the time Madison met him, he was angry. Travis says he allowed Chris to become that way. He says they’re living minute by minute, and at any time, it could be over. He wishes he had ended things differently. Madison says she has to find Alicia and leaves.

Alicia and Andres are tending to the patients in a makeshift infirmary. Madison asks Alicia to come with her. They go out on the dock. Madison says there’s something Alicia needs to understand and to hear her out. She says it’s about Alicia’s father and his accident, and that it wasn’t an accident. She thought she was doing the right thing by not telling her. Alicia says Madison said he fell asleep at the wheel, and Madison says he didn’t. Alicia asks how she can be certain,  and Madison says he left a note in his glove box. Alicia starts to cry and asks what it said. Madison says it’s not important. He was a man of few words who could be quite precise. Alicia insists. It said, I love you all and enough’s enough.

Alicia asks if Nick knows. Madison says Nick is why she kept it a secret. She says there’s a lot of Alicia’s father in Nick. She lists his positive qualities and says he just couldn’t see it. She asks to hold Alicia’s hand. She says she was afraid of Nick ending up like her father, but she never loved Alicia any less. She just thought Alicia was all right. Alicia says she had to be and Madison apologizes. She hugs Alicia. Alicia says she loves Madison too.

Travis takes a shower. He stands with his forehead on the wall.

Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. A small group comes to the gate . It’s those guys, but I don’t see Chris.

Next time, the 2-hour finale, Travis finds Chris, Victor returns, and there are lots and lots of zombies to make up for this episode.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Love Melissa’s dress in the opening. I’ll bet I’d like the stuff in her store. If I could fit in it.

The end of the last episode repeats. At lunch, Rosie wonders if Teresa never wants to be a family again. Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks her to respect that. She says she wishes them the best. Kathy asks if they can at least come away with a possibility. Teresa says they’re cousins and will always be there for each other as family. She and Joe #2 leave.

Teresa starts to cry and does that fanning thing. She says it’s exhausting. Joe #2 talks about how they were taught to never cry. He tells Teresa if that’s how she feels, that’s how she feels, and she says she feels like she doesn’t want to be around Kathy and Rosie.

Siggy and Dolores visit Jacqueline. They want the skinny on what happened. Jacqueline calls Kathy and Rosie. Kathy says Teresa said she has a lot on her plate and wants to keep her distance right now, but her door is open. Kathy makes like everything went more okay than it was.

Teresa packs for Vermont while Milania does some break dancing. Teresa wants the girls to spend time with their father, since he’ll be going to the pokey away soon.

Joe #2 tells Melissa it’s good of her to plan the trip. He says Teresa was really stressed out by the lunch with Kathy and Rosie, and thinks she could use the break. Melissa wants everyone to just have fun and not worry about anything. Good luck with that. Mutual friends Robyn and Christina are also coming. She tells Joe about how Jacqueline and Teresa seem to be doing better, but thinks Jacqueline still doubts Teresa and is paranoid of Melissa’s friendship with her.

Kim D (who the name Plastic would actually fit) is at her store, Posche. We flash back to the stupid fashion show she had where she tried to “expose” Melissa as a stripper. Or as Melissa says it, “shtripper.” Jacqueline and Siggy come in. Kim gossips about Melissa’s store and says that one of her assistants is selling stories. Jacqueline brings up Teresa selling books for cash at a time when it looked badly for her, and how it was leaked to the press. Siggy talks about how Melissa and Teresa are getting along better, but Kim D will have none of that, saying it’s all an act.

Joe #1 looks at a brochure on vaginal rejuvenation. I don’t want to know. Robyn and Christina arrive with their suitcases, as well a Melissa and Joe #2. The party bus comes with Jacqueline and Chris, and everyone gets on it. Since Joe #1 has been a bad boy, he can’t come. He’s not allowed to leave the state.

They discuss skiing, and who is good at it or not, swapping war stories. Joe #2 has already had enough of all the ladies talking at once. Siggy offers Teresa any help she might need when she’s a “single mother.” Chris says he’s the only one she can count on, and Joe brings up him trying to date Teresa. Chris says she was only interested in Joe #1.

Somehow the lunch comes up. Teresa compares it to breaking up with a guy – you still love him, but there’s nothing there. Robyn talks about actions speaking louder than words, but Dolores says they’re good people. We flash back to an issue Robyn had with Rosie. She says Rosie won’t even acknowledge her. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Robyn one of “Teresa’s soldiers,” and she questions Teresa having changed. Melissa says there seems to be no meeting of the minds, and Jacqueline starts getting loud about the message not having been clear. Melissa thinks she’s trying to push the relationship. Jacqueline says that if Teresa doesn’t want it, she totally gets it, but she needs to make it understood. Joe interjects that they might have gotten the wrong message when she said her door was open. Melissa opens some champagne. In her interview, Dolores says Robyn doesn’t really mesh well with the others.

After eight hours, they finally arrive and go immediately to the bar. They’ve rented a villa, and the suites or whatever are divvied up. Siggy tries on the many hats she’s brought with her.

Dinner time! All the women have their bathrobes on over their clothes. I have no clue why. It’s a family style meal and looks pretty damn good. Melissa announces her fashion show. Teresa thanks everyone for hanging out with her before Joe #1 leaves. Everyone says something positive and they toast. Joe #2 and Chris play shuffleboard (except it’s like a foosball table) and the girls go outside by the fire-pit.

Jacqueline tells Melissa what Kim D said about her assistant Derek and how he’s selling stories. In her interview, Melissa says Kim D is scraping the bottom of the barrel for gossip. She reminds the others about Kim D stirring the pot, trying to out her as the shtripper she never was. We flash back to that, and also a problem that Kim started between Jacqueline and Teresa. Teresa suggests Melissa just check Derek out.

Joe #2 talks to Chris about being glad he was born a man when he hears the girls bitching. Robyn tells Jacqueline she’s confusing and not very direct. She feels that Jacqueline tried to attack her and Jacqueline talks about her being a “loyal soldier” to Teresa. Robyn suggests they bring Teresa into the conversation, and in her interview, Jacqueline wonders why Robyn wants to drag Teresa into it. Um, maybe because you’re talking about her? Robyn asks Jacqueline what her problem is, and she says she wants to rage on Jacqueline’s ass. Jacqueline says bring it on and they tell each other to STFU and do that “no, you” stuff that I find funny coming from adults.

Jacqueline gets up and gets in Robyn’s face. Teresa comes out and asks what’s happening and they continue their argument. In her interview, Teresa says she’s never seen Robyn like this and wouldn’t be surprised if Jacqueline crossed the line. They go inside and Jacqueline keeps it up. Robyn calls her an instigator and Jacqueline tells Teresa she thought she’d cleaned house, but she forgot to take out the garbage. She’s so nasty. Or vicious, as Michael Rapaport would say.

Meanwhile back at Teresa’s house, Milania tries to cook while Joe #1 gives instructions like, don’t burn that. I can tell he’s at the end of his rope already and it’s only early morning.

Jacqueline refuses to come out of her room because she’s five years old. Teresa says she antagonizes the situation (ha-ha – I think she means aggravates) and then plays the victim. Truth! Melissa comes to breakfast in a bizarre ski outfit. Teresa asks Dolores why Jacqueline isn’t coming out and Dolores says she’s bummed. Poor baby.

Jacqueline tells Chris about how Robyn said she wanted her ass, so she sat one her. Chris says they’re out of control.

The rest of the group goes to a dog sledding place. Dolores totally loves on one of the dogs. Teresa keeps saying she’s scared, but don’t they have three dogs, one of which is a German Shepherd? Everyone gets in the sleds and the dogs are super excited. We see everything all shaky-cam on the ride. Melissa says it’s too bad Jacqueline didn’t come and that she tends to create her own issues. Dolores has gotten a text telling them there’s nothing wrong and some TMI about Jacqueline and Chris.

Time to ski. Robyn immediately falls on her ass and continues to do so. Joe is next. I refuse to laugh because I’ve never been skiing and can just imagine. Teresa tells Melissa she’s glad they’re in a good place. She asks for help in understanding Jacqueline, because it doesn’t seem to be going as well. Melissa says her relationship with Jacqueline has changed, since she seems to be paranoid about trusting Teresa.

Siggy and Dolores go back to the villa and Jacqueline says since Chris has to leave, she wants to go too. She says the weekend is about Teresa and Robyn is her friend, so she thinks it’s for the best. Siggy gets ridiculous about how they won’t have a good time without her. In her interview, Dolores is upset because this new person is causing a problem. Frankly, I think Jacqueline is acting like a big baby. She claims to be fearful of Robyn, since she said she wanted to kick Jacqueline’s ass, but Jacqueline started it and she’s the one with the tough girl tagline. She always seems to be spoiling for a fight, but I guess the real truth is, she’s all mouth. Then again, didn’t she punch Caroline Manzo? And her daughter, Ashlee, is the one who pulled out Danielle Staub’s weave way back when. Yeah, now I need help understanding Jacqueline too.

In her interview, Teresa says that Jacqueline is calculated (um…calculating?) and hits you where it hurts.

Big baby Jacqueline packs. Dolores tells her that Teresa is on probation can’t be around any arguments. Jacqueline says if she stays there will be an argument, and they both whine about the new person. Siggy says they have to protect Teresa. Dolores says Robyn is a threat and they should tell her. Honestly, these women think everyone has short term memory loss. Robyn did not start this argument.

Next time, Teresa doesn’t want to ask Robyn to leave, Joe #2 says this is like a soap opera, Jacqueline wags her finger in Teresa and Melissa’s faces while pulling out her phone, and Dolores goes nuts.

Sep24

September 23, 2016 – We Lose GH’s Sabrrrina, But Gain Back Citizen Z & the Usual Quotes

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Franco gives Elizabeth some tea. The doorbell rings and he thinks it’s the home nurse, but it’s Jason.

There’s a knock at Finn’s door. It’s Hayden bearing empty to-go coffee cups. Please, at least pretend. How many times do I have to tell these people? She wants to celebrate her freedom. She says she knows he’s bummed about the hospital, but he could at least return her texts. His room looks like a tornado hit it and she asks what the blip happened.

Curtis wakes Valerie, telling her she’s late for work, but she’s not pulling the early shift. She set the alarm for something else. Woo-woo.

Jordan peruses her laptop at the station. Andre chastises her for eating pizza for breakfast, but she says its not breakfast if she hasn’t been to bed yet. He tells her about how Mayor Lomax is patting herself on the back for closing the hospital. Jordan says the only way to make the hospital safe is to catch the killer. Andre says, let’s get to work then.

Griff presides over Sabrrrina’s funeral. He talks about how resilient Sabrrrina was in the face of adversity and her determination to find the best in people. He says they’re there to celebrate her life. He invites the attendees to talk about her. Lucy gets up and thanks Sabrrrina for everything she gave to all of them.

Hayden tells Finn about Naomi covering for her. He says he knows how much she’s suffered for her father’s crimes. She says he doesn’t know the half of it, and tells him about Jeff Webber being her real father and how that insufferable twit Elizabeth is her sister.

Jason brings Elizabeth a homemade card and she asks how Jake is. She wonders why Jason is wearing a suit and he says it’s for Sabrrrina’s funeral. You’re going to be late, dude.

Jordan says Andre still has his patients to look after, but he says the quicker the case is solved, the quicker GH will reopen. He says they need to figure out how Sabrrrina’s murder factors in.

Curtis and Valerie finish what she set the alarm for. He suggests she play hooky, but she says she can’t with the killer on the loose. She feels that she should have been more alert when she got the bop in the head at the hospital. Curtis says she got off easy, and if she’d turned around, she would have been killed. Curtis says the veterans haven’t caught the killer either and she doesn’t have to solve every murder. She says just the last one – Sabrrrina’s.

Lucy goes up to the podium. She talks about how Sabrrrina was determined to revive the Nurses Ball. She believed in what it stood for – compassion, community, and coming together to do something good. She says Sabrrrina is the reason she came back to Port Charles. She thanks Sabrrrina, saying she’ll be eternally grateful, and also to Felix. She asks him to come up next. He probably should have been first since he’s the only one I’ve seen cry real tears.

Elizabeth wants to go to the funeral. Franco says she’d still be in the hospital if it hadn’t closed. Jason says she’s not strong enough yet, and Sabrrrina would have told her the same thing. He leaves and Franco asks if he can get Elizabeth anything, She says she needs her friends to stop dying. She goes down Memory Lane, mentioning Emily and Nicholas. It doesn’t look like we’ll be seeing Nicholas again either, at least not in the form of Tyler Christopher.

Hayden says when she was little, she was desperate for a sister, someone to play with, confide in and trust. She says her so-called sister is the reason she went to jail and Finn says something about it being a miscommunication. Hmm…not the word I’d use. She asks why he destroyed his room and says Carly won’t be too happy. He tries to get her to leave, but no.

Jordan goes through the victims. Andre says the killer is being sloppy. Jordan thinks Sabrrrina was a mistake and that maybe she could have ID’d him. Andre says the hospital is the common denominator. They talk about the shoes and cufflink being from a well dressed man. Jordan says she works best with a partner. Valerie and Curtis walk in. Curtis sees the pizza and asks if they pulled an all-nighter and if they’re close to a breakthrough.

Felix says it still seems impossible that Sabrrrina is gone. He says they’re not here for bitterness, but to talk about how amazing Sabrrrina was. Jason arrives, apologizing to Michael for being late, and saying he’s there for him. Felix wants to pay tribute but doesn’t know where to start. He amends that, saying that he doesn’t want to, because if he starts, that means there has to be an end. Preach it.

Commercial break. An ad for ABC Soaps in Depth, and the headline is GH: Shocker: Paul Confesses to Tracy. 😯

Felix talks about how close he and Sabrrrina were, and how, no matter what was going on, she always made time for him. He says she could brighten the darkest day, and he wishes with all his heart he didn’t have to get through this day without her. I’ll let it slide that if she was there, he wouldn’t need to get through this day.

Hayden refuses to leave. She tells Finn it’s time to change up their dance and she’s tired of him pushing her away to protect her feelings. She says she’s tough now, after spending a night in jail. She tells him a fatal illness is a lot, emotionally and physically, and he can talk to her, she won’t break. Finn says he might. He says his tantrum had nothing to do with him being sick. Hayden asks why he’s upset, and he shows her a tie with Einstein and E-MC2 on it, a gift from his dead wife. It’s their anniversary.

Jordan asks Curtis what he’s doing there, and he says dropping off Valerie. He asks if they think the killer is a doctor. He says doctors do have a God complex – no offense to Andre, who says he and his complex forgive Curtis. He says a lot of people go through the hospital and this is someone who wouldn’t be questioned. Jordan says someone like a cop?

Dante thinks he has a lead. He tells Tracy that the killer didn’t plan this out and there might be DNA evidence. Griff asks if there’s anyone else who wants to share. Elizabeth comes in supported by Franco and says she will.

Elizabeth takes the podium. She talks about how she and Sabrrrina clicked right away and that taking care of patients was in her blood. She says Sabrrrina was one of the kindest people she’s ever known. She might have made mistakes, but never for the wrong reasons. She says starting today, for Sabrrrina, she’ll try to be more like her, and it’s the best way to honor her memory.

Finn tells Hayden that his wife was the best doctor he’s ever known. He says she had a way of making everyone happy and having fun with whatever she did. He says when he got too serious, she’d buy him a crazy novelty tie. He never wore them because he doesn’t like to call attention to himself. Hayden is like, says the guy with the bearded dragon. Finn tells her that Roxie is a showboater and not to blame him because she’s a star.

He tells Hayden that one day they weren’t as careful with samples as they should have been and his wife got exposed. She got sick because of him. She’d wanted to go home, but he’d wanted to stay and find a cure. She never blamed him, and gave him the tie on their last anniversary. She wanted him to wear it to show the world.

Jordan asks Curtis if he’s accusing one of the PCPD of being a murderer. He says it’s someone who can move undetected through the hospital, and Jordan tells Valerie to make a list of non-medical personnel, especially those who would have an ID.

Michael gets up next. He wonders how to sum Sabrrrina up. He talks about her kindness and her big heart and how fun she was to be around. He says how good she was with Avery. When he saw her tenderness, patience and love, he realized that he loved her. He starts to break up and Carly goes to him. She asks if she can say something.

Carly talks about Michael being estranged from his family and Sabrrrina encouraging forgiveness. She’s grateful for the bridge and for the happiness Sabrrrina brought Michael. Michael says that Sabrrrina left the place a better world than she found it, and he’s grateful he got to know and love her. I call Paul an a-hole.

Griff gets up and asks Epiphany to take the floor. Where does he want her to take it? She says that Sabrrrina was a wonderful gift and it’s not going to be easy without her, but they’ll do their damnedest to measure up. She sings You’re Not Alone. Love, love, love Epiphany. As she sings, instead of getting flashbacks like we should, the camera pans over the crowd. We see Hayden put the tie on Finn, and Valerie looking at Sabrrrina’s picture at the station. I call Paul a d-bag. Even though I wasn’t a huge Sabrrrina fan, this all makes me want to cry.

Commercial break. Don’t forget, Once Upon a Time has its season premiere this Sunday.

Afterward Jason tells Michael that if he needs anything, let him know. Michael says thanks, but maybe he can do some good for someone, which is what Sabrrrina would have wanted.

Hayden says she knows the best way to celebrate and Finn tells her no selfies. Finn says Hayden and his wife would have liked one another, and they toast to her with the empty to-go cups.

Elizabeth thanks Franco for taking her to the memorial. He tells her to rest or he’ll end up in trouble. She asks if hell be there when she wakes up and he says if she wants him to. She does.

Griff tells Tracy that he hopes Sabrrrina has peace now. Paul looks at Sabrrrina’s pic.

Valerie has downloaded some files and asks Andre to help weed through them. Curtis tells Jordan about how they tried to bust a cartel once, and how the guy they were looking for was right under their noses the whole time.

Paul flashes back to killing Sabrrrina. He apologizes to her picture, and Tracy asks what he’s sorry for. He says, “I killed her.” DUN-DUN-DUNN! I guess Soaps in Depth wasn’t kidding

On Monday, Paul confesses to Tracy, Sam confronts Alexis, and Sonny tells Jason someone needs to pay.

Z Nation

Pup and Citizen Z have set off for parts unknown. They nearly freeze to death, but a native girl finds them.

Meanwhile, Operation Bitemark and Escorpion get trounced and are being held captive by some kind of Asian soldier group. The female leader sees Murphy in a speedboat. She scans Roberta with something that looks like an iPad and Roberta’s information comes up. She does the same thing to the others, and the soldiers take blood samples from them. When she gets to Escorpion, the screen comes up with a list of his crimes. He tells her that career opportunities were somewhat limited in his neighborhood. While she’s busy with that, Roberta gets a soldier’s gun, but her plan doesn’t work, and they become captives once again. The soldiers dispatch a few zombies.

On the water, Murphy has his own little gang. He orders Dr. Merch and a bunch of military guys out of the boat. Murphy swipes the captain’s hat and 10K emerges from the boat, asking what happened. He says they have to find the others, but Murphy says they’re going their own way now, to start a new world. They all get into military vehicles. Dr. Merch and 10K ride with Murphy.

The woman asks Roberta where Murphy is and says his blood is their mission. One of the soldiers is radioed by a plane. The soldiers push OBM forward.

None of the people with Murphy seem to drive very well. They have to stop when one of the vehicles has a tire issue. Zombies come out of the woods. Never mind. These must be people. They have weapons and look like Vikings. They don’t respond to Murphy and the captain gets a machete to the head. It’s not going well for the other soldiers and Murphy tells 10K to kill the Vikings. WTF?

Murphy says starvation and killing is all that’s left; last stop for humanity, everybody off. Dr. Merch has an asthma attack, but Murphy calms it by looking at her. The plane drops some cargo. A group of Duck Dynasty guys run out of the woods toward where the parachutes are landing. Maybe they’re part of the Viking group.

Citizen Z has crazy dreams. He wakes and is being given some water. He doesn’t look good at all. He wakes again and is a little more cognizant. He’s naked and a naked girl sleeps next to him. Pup drinks from a water dish next to their floor mat. As soon as he sees Pup is fine, Citizen Z goes back to sleep.

The soldiers continue to march OBM through the woods and shoot zombies as they go. Doc is glad to see someone else doing the work for once. The zombies keep coming. One of the soldiers throws a grenade. Wait. It’s not a grenade. It’s a laser light show coming out of a ball. Doc says it’s a zombie rave and to pass the z-weed. The zombies stare at the green laser beams, something shoots out and they keel over. Roberta and Escorpian kill a couple of zombies with their hands tied behind their backs, and Escorpion suggests they work better when their hands are free.

An unfettered OBM walk through the woods. The female leader introduces herself as Dr. Sun from Laos. (She says Laos didn’t survive. They only have 200,000 people left.) She says they stayed behind the wall of the Forbidden City, a group of the best scientists from Asia, but failed to develop a vaccine. They need Murphy’s platelets.

10K asks Murphy what’s happening. Murphy says they have to keep moving. OMG – it’s a ball of zombies rumbling through the woods, taking down trees as they go! Murphy says it’s zombies eating zombies because there aren’t enough humans. He says without him, this is how the world ends – no humans just starving z’s. Dr. Merch asks what he’s going to do with her. He says she’ll bring him to the masses and she’ll go down in history. He tells 10K to put the zombies out of their misery. Murphy points out that 10K has stopped counting.

Roberta explains mercy to Dr. Sun . They stop for water and a couple of characters out of The Warriors watch them. Dr. Sun gives OBM their weapons back. Even better, gives them some modified weapons from her group.

Citizen Z wakes again, this time alone. He sits up, gets out of bed and stretches. He sees a girl sitting nearby. She says you’re up and he says it happens in the morning sometimes. Ha-ha! He covers himself with the blanket. She knows who he is and is a huge fan, although not in a Kathy Bates with a sledgehammer kind of way. She says she’s excited, but I’d hate to see not excited, since everything she says is very deadpan. Her name is Kia and she explains that he’s been out for two days and had hypothermia, which was why she was in bed with him. She introduces her Uncle Koskay and Nana who are sitting at the table having tea. Pulling the blanket tighter, he thanks them for their hospitality and gets his clothes back.

Kia, her uncle and Citizen Z stand outside. She tells him he’s been their connection to the world. She loves his vibe, but thinks he could stand to play more hip-hop. There aren’t any zombies around because of the ice and snow. There were also fewer humans.

Dr. Sun says her people sacrificed greatly for the mission and it’s their last hope. Oooh, I like Roberta’s vest, it’s OD green with little pockets and laces up the front. They see some characters from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Escorpion calls them Enders. He says they’re humans whose brains are fried. The group sees where the parachutes landed. It looks like an old airplane hangar. Roberta says they’re not the only ones who saw the parachutes. Doc tells her to put her dancin’ shoes on because there’s going to be a party.

They enter the hangar and Roberta asks Escorpion if he missed all the fun. Dr. Sun wonders where the people ahead of them want. She uses her iPad-looking thing to play Pokemon GO hone in on where the supplies are. They toss one of the laser grenades at the people from The Devil’s Rejects. It gets tossed back and the soldiers get nailed. Dr. Sun freaks out and runs to tend one of them. All hell breaks loose.

While OBM are fighting the Hills Have Eyes bunch, the doctor whines about failing her people. Escorpion pulls a giant nail out of the soldier, who says it’s just a flesh wound. Dr. Sun cries some more about failure and doesn’t want to go back without a cure. Geez, all of a sudden, a zombie pops out of nowhere and poor nail guy gets slammed and eaten. When life hands you zombies, get out of the way. This causes Dr. Sun to wail even louder.

Addie comes out with her modified battle ax, but this zombie is tough and big. Escorpian shoots him from behind. The lieutenant is zobified and the doctor kills him and sobs over his body. Roberta drags her away and says they need to look for the supplies. Doc says the supplies better be damn awesome because he needs a pick-me-up right about now.

The supply drop is gone, even the vehicle. No surprise, the doctor brings failure into the picture one more time, adding the ancestors will never know peace. There are storm clouds in the sky and it begins to thunder. The doctor says there’s a reckoning coming. Roberta tells her to call in more supplies, but that was it and the radio is destroyed. Roberta asks what Dr. Sun wanted with their blood. The doctor says they’ve been with Murphy from the beginning and they’ve survived for so long, maybe it was biological. Roberta says they’re the ones who kept Murphy going; he didn’t rub off on them. The doctor wants to have a pity party, but Roberta says Dr. Sun is part of her mission now. Doc asks if the mission has changed. Dr. Sun asks about Murphy, and Roberta says they’ve all survived for some cosmic reason, and it’s up to them.

Murphy drives up in a mini-tank with Dr. Merch. Roberta asks about 10K and Murphy just shakes his head. He says hi to Escorpion, who says he’s just Hector now. Murphy applauds his Road to Damascus moment and says he had his own epiphany. He tells them the submarine sank, but there was no lab on it, only Zona and now he has their nectar. He says there was no mission and asks Roberta to come with him to a new world. He says she can even bring everyone else.

Roberta says no thanks, and tells him about Dr. Sun and that she has a fully equipped lab on a ship not far away. Murphy says no one is poking holes in him again. He wants to forget about humanity and invites them to join his mission.

Roberta draws a gun on Murphy and tells him get out of the car. A bullet whizzes by and Doc wonders if it’s 10K. Either a bunch of zombies or the guys from Slipknot are coming over the hill. Murphy says time to choose him or what’s left of humanity. He says it’s blend time; the humans lost the race – just ask them. He tells them TTYL and drives away.

Murphy picks up 10K on his way out, and we see that he has a bite on the back of his neck. Oh wow. He was adamant about not wanting that last season, so I’m wondering if he was willing.

Dr. Sun says she’s not a survivor. Roberta says, yet she survived. The doctor asks if she’s a prisoner and Roberta says she’ll try trusting her. Doc says he thinks it was 10K who shot at them. Roberta tells him they’ll have to forget about that. They’re going to stop Murphy from creating a race of blends.

Citizen Z, Kia and her family watch the Northern Lights. Kia says she’s glad he’s there, and Citizen Z says he is too.

Murphy rides on.

The Man sees the damage that’s been done at the supply drop. I recognized those flip-flops right away. He looks at his list. The only name on it is Murphy’s. The Man walks out into the whatever.

Next time, Roberta is determined to stop Murphy, a mailman attracts zombies, and Murphy manages to get stuck in traffic.

Quotes of the Week

I was trying to remember the name of that singer Rihanna used to date … and then it hit me. —Lady Bunny referring to Chris Brown

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. — Mohammed Ali

Don’t screw with my disco, Nadine. — Corin Nemic as Harold, The Stand

Sep19

September 18, 2016 – NJ’s Teresa Confronts Her Cousins & FTD’s Strand Confronts a Knife

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Rosie, Jacqueline and Siggy meet for drinks. Jacqueline talks about Kathy and Rosie surprising Teresa at her book signing. Rosie wants Teresa back in their lives (whether Teresa wants it or not) and was hoping to make a lunch date. Siggy thinks it’s sad that they’re estranged and has high hopes for a reconciliation. Higher hopes than I do, since I basically have none. In her interview, Jacqueline says Teresa is mad at Kathy for things she’s said herself. We flash back to Rosie’s interruption of the last Wives reunion that Teresa attended. Rosie says Teresa didn’t act like she hated her, but she wanted more than that. Siggy says family is worth fighting for. Um…that depends on the family.

Melissa takes Joe #2 go for a Botox treatment. She tells him it will help his migraines and he says he has migraines from stuff like what happened at the book signing. He says family is supposed to pick you up when you’re going down, not agree with the one who’s pushing you down. The doctor comes in and Joe expresses his fear of needles. Melissa takes a picture as he gets his treatment. He suggests a gin chaser.

Ashlee is going with Pete to check out apartments. Pete suggests checking out Hoboken first. I was going to wrinkle my nose until I saw the view. I’m moving tomorrow. They go to an observation area and Pete asks her to marry him. Geez, no fanfare, no warning, no nothing. In her interview, Ashlee recalls dreaming about this moment as a little girl. This is the kind of moment she dreamt of? They nix looking at apartments, and decide to go home to give the family the big announcement. The ring gets my stamp of approval.

Ashlee asks Jacqueline if this dress makes her look fat and then asks if this ring makes her look engaged. Okay, that was kind of cute. Brother CJ and Chris join them. In his interview, Chris says, “She’s all yours, Pete – good luck.” Ha-ha! Champagne is brought out and they all have a toast.

What is up with the windows on Siggy’s house? There’s a huge blank space on the second floor. Jacqueline calls Siggy to tell her about the engagement. She also sends out a group text.

Teresa and Melissa are out for a walk. They discuss Joe #1‘s upcoming trip to camp. The conclusion is that women are stronger than men. Teresa says Joe isn’t taking it all that well, although he keeps saying he’s good. Teresa thinks it will be a plus for Joe to detox. In her interview, Melissa talks about how the men in the family put up a strong front. She feels that Teresa got more in touch with her feelings when she was away and they’re the closest they’ve been.

Siggy comes by Melissa’s place to pick up some jeans and have champagne. There must have been a sale. Teresa is going to join them, and they talk about how exhausted she seems. Melissa says she doesn’t think everything has hit her yet, but every time they talk, more trust is established. Melissa wants to take a group trip to Vermont before Joe #1 leaves and Teresa won’t be able to get away.

Teresa arrives and Melissa presents her idea. She says it will be the girls and Joe #2, but only if Chris will come, because he doesn’t want to be the only guy. Joe #1 isn’t allowed out of the state. After some gentle persuasion, Teresa agrees. Glasses clink.

Dolores is working at the gym. Jacqueline shows up with a Quarter Pounder, with cheese no less. Dolores tells Jacqueline about her idea to empower women and have a ladies weekend at the gym. Jacqueline checks out the equipment. They talk about Ashlee’s engagement. Jacqueline is glad Ashlee and Pete are taking their time, since her own wedding was a backyard affair and she Ashlee will have time to plan.

Jacqueline, Siggy and Teresa meet for drinks. Siggy tells Teresa about how upset Rosie was and how she wants to have lunch with Teresa. Teresa says now her father is involved, since Kathy called him a coward at the reunion. I’m guessing she doesn’t mean a hands-on kind of involvement, just that Kathy dragged his name into it. Jacqueline says that Kathy feels that Teresa started it, since she said something first about Kathy’s parents. Teresa brings up how Kathy and her aunt discussed Teresa’s culpability in going to prison and we flash back to that. In her interview, Teresa says they haven’t treated her well and it’s really none of Siggy’s business. I have to agree here. Even I’m feeling the strain. Teresa tells the girls that she isn’t ready for a relationship with her cousins, and wants to concentrate on her immediate family. Siggy tries to pressure her about the lunch and Teresa says she’ll think about it. She leaves to pick the girls up from school. Siggy tells Jacqueline this is deep, so they need to have hope.

Jacqueline and Siggy go to Kathy’s for lunch. Siggy tells them about meeting with Teresa and brings up what Kathy said about Teresa’s father. Kathy immediately gets excited and talks about how Teresa said things about her family, but at the end of the reunion said she forgave Kathy. Melissa and Joe join the crowd. Siggy starts crying. She’s upset about the whole lunch thing, since she doesn’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Joe #2 says Teresa can’t forget right now and Melissa doesn’t want to get in the middle. Rich talks nonsense about what a happily married couple he and Kathy are, and that Teresa is jealous about that. Joe gets mighty pissed. He says they all know what Rich just did and it’s got to stop. Rich acts ignorant. Joe says something in Italian, which translates to, the tongue doesn’t have bones but can break bones. Rosie gets crazy, saying they all say whatever they want and it all falls on her sister and she won’t have it anymore. Rich says if Joe thinks he’s adding to the fire, he apologizes. To his credit, he says he’ll step back and stay out of it. In his interview, Joe says Teresa needs time to trust them. Finally everyone calms the hell down.

Joe #2 meets Teresa at the gym. He tells her about Kathy and Rich. Teresa says that she’s tired of hearing about it. She says she doens’t like Richie’s company and Joe blabs about what Richie said and how he intimated that Teresa and Joe don’t have love. She says this is exactly the kind of thing she doesn’t want in her life. Joe suggests she have lunch with the girls. She brings up their father being called a coward. He says until she tells them get lost, they’re not going away. Joe offers to come along and she says she’ll do it. That was really nice of him.

Rosie and Kathy show up early for the lunch. Kathy tells Rosie that she doesn’t want to dwell in the past. She says that their parents getting older puts things in perspective. In her interview, Rosie says despite what’s happened in the past few years, she loves the Giudices. She tells Kathy she wants to make her mother proud. Rosie gets all teary and lunch hasn’t even started yet.

In the car, Teresa explains to Joe #2 that she doesn’t enjoy Rosie and Kathy’s company and Joe says he wants them to hear it from her, so they let go. Teresa tells Joe that it breaks her heart that it trickled down to the parents.

Joe #2 and Teresa arrive. Teresa says she feels badly dragging Joe into the lunch. Kathy says she just wants to be a family again. Teresa says they’ll always be family, but she just wants to be left alone. She says Rich always has something negative to say and he’s a big part of the problem. Teresa asks if he has any feeling. A waiter brings menus and Teresa says they’re not eating. Oh, snap!

Teresa says she didn’t even get a card from them the whole time she was away. Kathy says Teresa also shut everyone out, but Teresa disagrees. She tells them she feels like now that she’s in the public eye again, they’re interested in her, and she wants to be around people who were there for her during the bad times. She says there’s been a lot of turmoil and she wants to cut the cancer out. Kathy says they’re not cancer, and Rosie asks if she’s saying she never wants to be a family again. No. She’s saying get off her back right now because you two are way past desperate and she just freakin’ got out of prison.

Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks if they can respect that. Rosie says she doesn’t want to beg. But you are, Blanche! You are! Teresa says she wishes them the best. Joe #2 wakes up and astutely observes that time mends all. Kathy says they’ve opened the door, so if they need anything, they’re here for each other. Teresa says her door is open if they ever need anything. Teresa and Joe leave. In her interview, Teresa says she’s glad there’s closure. She says she reached her breaking point, she’s had enough, and she’s done. She starts to cry on the way to the car, and does that fanning motion with her hand to dry the tears. She tells Joe its exhausting and he says it’s sad.

Next time, the Vermont trip happens. Melissa and Jacqueline argue, and some woman gets involved who I don’t recognize.

Fear the Walking Dead

Francisco, his wife Ana and little girl sneak around Colonia. They head toward the bus exit. The little girl is scared, and Francisco tells her to be calm and quiet. They go through the bus. Ana tells the girl not to look, and Francisco drags a zombie in and guts him. They put the blood on themselves and walk through the zombie horde. Nice crane shot.

The family goes to the outside. Francisco says they should be at another settlement by dark. They hear a truck and hide. Too late. They’ve been seen. Gang leader Marco asks if he knows them. Francisco says he doesn’t think so. Marco continues to question him. He talks to the little girl and Francisco gives him his backpack and asks him to leave them alone. Marco takes out a canteen and pours water over Francisco’s face. He knows Francisco is from Colonia and asks where the Oxy is. Francisco says they left it in Colonia, but Marco doesn’t believe him.

Ofelia is driving around who knows where. She kicks in the door to a restaurant and gives a zombie a hammer to the head. She makes noise to see if there are any others. She looks at the ocean view. She flashes back to when she was there another time with her boyfriend who’s telling her he’s taking a job in Santa Fe. He wants her to come with him and gives her a drink with a ring in it. She says New Mexico is so far, but he says her parents will be fine. He says he’ll talk to her dad and ask for her hand. She says she’s going to talk to her mother. They kiss.

Back to the present. Ofelia peruses a map and fills a gas can.

At the hotel, Madison, Victor and company get things going, putting on the electricity and fishing for food. Hector teaches Alicia some surfing moves and she talks about her brother. Hector asks where he is now, but she says she doesn’t know. She says he’s out there somewhere. She misses who he was, but maybe not who he is now. Hector says his brother is gone. Madison brings them ice water and tells them the generator is working.

Luci and Nick are in bed. There’s a knock at Luci’s door. A guy says Francisco is gone and he took his family. Luci is surprised that he’d desert them. Nick says he’ll help with the search.

Victor, Alicia, Madison and Elena are having some coffee – which must taste really good – in one of the hotel rooms. There’s a knock at the door. Victor answers and gets knifed for his trouble. It’s the mother-of-the-bride, Ilene. I gasp and say wtf? She babbles something about her daughter and leaves. Worst. Room. Service. Ever.

The ladies tend to Victor. One of the guests, Andres, says he had a year of medical training and Elena has Alicia get the first aid kit. Andres makes excuses for Ilene, but Victor says her grief is a little extreme. No vital organs have been hit, but they still don’t have what they need. Elena, Madison and Oscar decide to make a trip to Marco’s gang supermarket.

Luci tells Alejandro about Francisco leaving. He asks if she knew, but she says no. Alejandro says he’s a coward. Luci thinks Alejandro should speak to the people, and he tells her to gather their inner circle.

Victor tells Madison to keep the drinks coming. He thinks Ilene should be exiled, but Madison says she should be locked up indefinitely. It’s either that or the street. She says they can’t have violence and if anyone raises a hand to another, they’re out. She says it’s the only way this can work.

Alejandro makes a speech about how what lies beyond the wall is worse than death, a wasteland, the end. He says death will not take them if they stick together and have faith. He asks them to stand with him, and says they’re more together than apart. Nick looks unconvinced and asks Luci if Alejandro is okay. After the meeting, Luci tells Alejandro that they’re going out. He asks if she spoke to the scouts and she says not yet. He asks if she wants to follow Francisco. She says this is her home and her people and she wants to serve. He says to speak to the scouts then. Nick says if they don’t deliver the Oxy, the gang will come looking for them. Alejandro says they stay until he says differently. Yes, boss.

Madison tells Alicia and Andres to keep an eye on Victor. She says they’ll be back in two hours. She, Elena and Oscar leave in a truck. Madison asks what Elena and Hector were arguing about. Elena was hoping she could get his brother to come home. She says Antonio chose to stay with the gang and Hector won’t forgive him for it.

Nick asks Luci if she’s okay. She’s upset about what Alejandro said, but Nick says he’s just scared because the natives are getting restless. He tells her they have to get the people their meds. She says Alejandro has always known what he’s doing. Nick says the gang could come looking for them, but she says they stay, because she’s really stupid.

Elena, Madison and Oscar go to the gang supermarket. Elena asks for Antonio. Madison and Oscar set down a cooler. The guard says they can come in, but not the guy who’s with them, only Madison and Elena.

Nick visits Alejandro, who asks if Luci is all right. Nick says she will be, and Alejandro says she’s never questioned him before. Nick says if they don’t make the trade, he thinks the gang will come looking for them. He says the danger is now and real and out there. Alejandro gets testy about them not having faith. He says he never asked to be the one to make the decisions. Nick is like, so I should just follow you blindly? Alejandro says to trust him and says he trusts Nick. Apparently, not that much.

Elena sees Antonio and he tells her she shouldn’t have brought the Americano with her. He looks in the cooler and asks if they can get more fish. Elena tells him his brother asked about him. In the meantime, Francisco is upstairs, getting shaken down in Spanish. Madison asks Elena if they’re the ones being discussed, but Elena says he’s talking about a place called Colonia. As the questioning goes on, Elena translates and Madison realizes they’re talking about Nick. She starts to move toward the stairs and Elena is like, don’t do this.

Madison gets involved and asks if they’re talking about Nick. Elena tells her they walk away now or be killed. Antonio tells Elena to get out and don’t come back. Elena tries to get him to ditch the gang, but he says they won’t be there much longer.

Nick asks one of the scouts, Renaldo, to make the trade with him. He says they need water and Alejandro isn’t a rainmaker. Renaldo says Americans always want to fix someone else’s problems, but Nick says he just gives a sh*t. Renaldo tells him they’ll meet later.

Luci tells Nick that the people need reassurance. Instead of giving into fear, the people need to bring their concerns to Alejandro’s inner circle. Nick asks her to join him inside for a drink, but I think he means something else.

Andres tells Victor that his heart doesn’t have enough blood to pump to all the organs. Victor asks if he should write his will, but Andres says Madison will be back soon. Alicia takes over putting pressure on the wound. Victor tells Alicia she has a better bedside manner than Andres. She says she’s not going to tell him it’s going to be all right because it might not be, and he laughs, which is probably a bad idea. He says he changed his mind; her bedside manner is abysmal. They agree on not liking sugarcoating. He asks what she meant when she said she’d raised herself. She says Madison was busy with Nick and his drug addiction, and her father. He says she has Madison all to herself now, but Alicia says she didn’t want it like this, and she isn’t sure Madison sees her. Victor says make her then.

Nick looks down at the zombie wall. Marco is looking back through binoculars. It’s hard to tell if Nick sees him or he just happens to be looking that way.

Ofelia consults the map. She looks at her rosary and flashes back to being with her mother. They talk about their weekend. Ofelia says her father seems unhappy whether business is good or bad. Griselda says God whispered to her about this man and that he’s a hard man. She’s says she’s a hard woman, and they survived together and came there for Ofelia. She tells Ofelia she couldn’t imagine what they saw, the violence and the blood. They didn’t want that life for her. Griselda says that Ofelia’s father still has nightmares. They didn’t want her to live in fear and would have done anything for her, like Griselda would do anything for Ofelia’s father, because that’s love. Ofelia takes her mother’s hand.

Ofelia kisses the crucifix of her rosary and says she understands now. She starts the car and heads for the US.

When Madison and company return, Elena tells Alicia about Madison’s tangle with the gang. The neon light with the name of the hotel goes on, and Alicia tells Madison she’s inviting in the same people that they want to stay away. She says Madison risked everything for a rumor about someone who may or may not be Nick. Madison says she knows it’s Nick. Alicia doesn’t get it; Nick chose what’s out there over them. Madison says maybe he changed his mind. Alicia says she never changed hers and she’s there. Why isn’t that enough?

The hotel light is extinguished, but not before Travis sees it.

Next time, Travis is digging graves, Madison apologizes, Travis wants to make a break for it – Chris not so much, and Madison insists Nick is out there.

Sep17

September 16, 2016 – Good-by to GH’s Sabrrrina, Hello to Z Nation & a Few Quotes

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis is sworn in.

Carly is trying to get Michael on the phone. She thinks he’s not calling back because he’s angry with her. Nell shows up at the MetroCourt for her first day as Carly’s assistant. Nina walks in right behind her and says Nell doesn’t look pregnant.

Michael talks to dead Sabrrrina. He tells her how he wanted to give her everything. Tracy comes in and puts her hands on his shoulders. Geez, I would be careful about startling anyone under the circumstances.

Monica wakes up. Jason says he’ll tell her everything, but wants to know how she’s feeling first. She says tired, but she’s not in pain. She asks what happened and he tells her about being injected by the hospital killer.

Paul asks Alexis to tell the court about what happened. She talks about wearing a wire to record Julian. He asks if the recording has the whole confession, but Scotty objects and it’s sustained. Paul asks her if she can tell the court what Julian said. Not quite the same as a taped confession, but it’s still pretty good evidence having an eye witness, or ear witness as it were.

Nell tells Nina that she has the wrong person. Nina says she was meeting a woman who’s giving up her baby for adoption. Nell says she’s definitely not her. Carly introduces them and Nell is happy to meet Nina face to face and thanks her. She says without Nina, she never would have met Josslyn and her family.

Felix is beside himself, wondering who could have done this to Sabrrrina. Dante says probably the person you’d least suspect. Well, I dunno about that. I’d suspect Paul of pretty much anything and everything.

Jason tells Monica that she was found in her office. She says the last thing she remembers was talking to someone about keeping the hospital open. The next thing was a voice telling her about a grandchild. Well, that sure wasn’t Paul.

Paul asks Alexis about the dagger. Scotty objects to everything throughout the questioning, and Alexis stumbles over some of her words and seems confused. She talks about the dagger disappearing from the PCPD evidence locker, and says that it had her prints and Carrrlos’s DNA on it. She found out Julian had taken it and asked him if he’d set her up purposely. Alexis flashes back to their conversation and spaces out a bit. She says Julian swore that everything he was doing was to keep them together. Paul asks what Julian did to make sure Carrrlos wouldn’t testify against him.

Tracy tells Michael about how much she loved having Sabrrrina in the house and that’s why she wanted them to hurry up and get married. She says Sabrrrina loved Michael and there’s no doubt in her mind that she would have said yes to his proposal.

Both Nell and Carly thank Nina for what she did.

Jason tells Monica that he and Sam are having a baby. She says it gave her incentive to wake up.

Paul asks Alexis about what Julian told her about the crime. She asks Paul to tell Julian to stop staring at her. Paul asks about Carrrlos’s murder. Scotty says he’s leading, but Alexis says no, Julian wanted to shut Carrrlos up. She says her answer isn’t going to change, whether Paul leads or not. Paul asks if Julian murdered Carrrlos and she says yes. Scotty says Paul is leading her again, and the judge asks if Alexis needs a moment because she appears to be under the influence. Alexis says no, but the judge has the statement about Carrrlos being murdered stricken from the record. I go, whaaat? and remember that Paul gave Alexis something to drink before the trial. I wondered what it was at the time, but she didn’t look at it weird or anything when she took a sip, so I brushed the thought aside. Maybe he slipped a drug into it.

Jason asks Dante if he’s seen Tracy and tells him Monica just woke up. Don’t get a doctor or anything. Dante says Tracy is in with Michael and Sabrrrina was found strangled. Jason asks if he thinks whoever did it was after Monica.

Michael tells Tracy how excited Sabrrrina was to get back to work. Tracy says she saved Monica’s life and tells him about Monica being injected. He asks if she’s okay and Tracy says Sabrrrina is the reason she’s alive.

Carly tells Nina and Nell about the argument with Michael. She asks Nina if she’s still considering adoption. Nina says she wasn’t considering it anymore, but figured she’d meet with the girl anyway and it looks like she got stood up. Carly tells her that Nell is going to be her personal assistant. Nina tells Nell she needs a better outfit and she’s there to help. She wants to take her to Crimson’s office because she’d fit the sample size. What is that now? A size 00?

Paul asks Alexis what information would have led her husband to kill Carrrlos. Alexis asks Paul to stop calling Julian her husband. She starts to talk about Duke and gets confused. Paul asks about Julian trying to kill her. We get mini flashbacks throughout the scene. Alexis starts to cry and the judge allows a ten-minute recess. Scotty tells Julian that Alexis is a basket case, which is great for them. Julian goes over to Alexis and tells her that no matter what happens, he loves her, because he’s allowed to just wander around the courtroom. Sam tells him to stay away from her mother.

Jordan asks Sonny what the what? He says he knew Alexis was ragged (ha-ha! that word again), but he didn’t realize how bad off she was. Jordan asks Paul if Alexis is doing this on purpose to throw off the trial. She goes out to the hallway and asks Alexis if she had a drink, and Alexis says yes. I still think whatever Paul gave her is what’s affecting her. It’s highly doubtful one drink would make her so discombobulated.

Tracy visits Monica. She says she’s glad Monica is okay and she was worried they were going to lose her. Monica says Tracy just wants to take over the house. Tracy explains that Sabrrrina found her and did CPR. Monica says Sabrrrina had a helluva first day and wants to thank her. Tracy tells her Sabrrrina was murdered, probably by the same person.

Dante says they have to figure out the timing.He tells Michael that they’re gong to get this guy. They need an autopsy and to get DNA samples. The sooner they do it, the sooner they can get moving on the case. Michael asks for a little more time.

Jordan is livid. She asks Alexis if this was the plan all along. Sam promises that Alexis isn’t throwing the case. Alexis says she had one glass of wine. Jordan says it looks like she had a lot more than that. Alexis says Julian is staring at her and she can’t think straight. She promises to get it together and Sam wonders if she’s going to be okay.

Sonny asks Paul how he’s going to fix this. Paul says he was hoping Alexis would, since they lost the confession as evidence. Everyone returns to the courtroom.

Paul asks Alexis if she alleges that Julian tried to kill her, and she says yes. He has no further questions. Scotty asks if Alexis knew that Julian had been implicated in Duke’s murder. She says yes, and he asks why she didn’t call the police when Julian was burning evidence. He asks why she waited until she got dragged in. She says she didn’t kill Carrrlos and doesn’t believe in violence. Scotty brings up some old stuff, like her running over that guy and murdering Stavros. Paul keeps objecting, and the judge asks Scotty to remember who’s on trial. Julian jumps up and tells Scotty to leave his wife alone.

Dante asks Monica what she remembers. She says she was in her office, trying to come up with a plan to keep the hospital open and the next thing she knew, she was talking to Jason. She remembers a smell of cologne or aftershave and recalls that she’s smelled it before – at home. Tracy wonders if someone who lives in the house has the same cologne. Monica says it’s not a family member, but maybe a guest.

The judge says the witness isn’t on trial and the next time, Scotty is looking at contempt of court. Jordan tells Paul something is happening at the hospital and she has to leave. Scotty says Alexis told the court Julian had nothing to do with Duke’s murder. She says that’s not right, he ordered Duke’s murder. Scotty says the only thing she’s said so far is that Julian loves her and would do anything for her. Scotty questions Julian trying to kill her, and she gets confused again. Sam jumps up and says Julian did try to kill her.

Nell comes back in a fabulous black and white dress that only really thin people can wear comfortably. Nina tells her they’ll expand her wardrobe little by little and leaves. Nell calls her a force of nature.

Michael talks ore to Sabrrrina than he ever did when she was alive. Um…she’s breathing and I can see it. Pretty soon, she’s going to get up just to get away from his voice. He keeps grabbing her hand and I can’t help thinking that she’s also been dead a while, but her body isn’t stiff in any way. The makeup is really good though. Jason walks in.

Dante tells Jordan that Sabrrrina must have figured out who tried to kill Monica. Tracy doesn’t want to support keeping the hospital open anymore. Monica has to agree. Jordan says there’s something they need to discuss with her. Monica says there’s no other choice but to close GH before anyone else gets hurt.

Now Felix talks to dead Sabrrrina, telling her how wonderful she was. And how now he’ll have to find another roommate. Just kidding. He talks about what a rock she was for him, and how she was his best friend and will miss her for the rest of his life. He puts the sheet over her. Marc Anthony Samuel is so good, even though I’m making fun of this, he almost brings tears to my eyes. We get a flashback of early Sabrrrina and Felix stuff, and the almost marriage to Patrick. Felix looks at the empty hospital bed.

Michael goes to Carly. She apologizes, saying she’s sorry for what she said about him and Sabrrrina. He says it doesn’t matter because she’s dead. Way to drop a mic, Mike.

The judge tells Sam to sit down and the next person who interrupts is getting contempt charges. She chastises the lawyers, saying it’s there fault for grandstanding. She asks Scotty if he has any further questions. He asks if Alexis expects them to believe anything she has to say, and she tells him she’s telling the truth. She steps down, then starts to fall down. Julian catches her while Paul looks on with a smug soap opera face. Paul gives great face.

Tomorrow, Griff asks Claudette for the truth, Michael tells Carly to stay away from him, and Nell sympathizes with a friend.

Z Nation

Doc tells us we’re going to see a flashback movie and puts on his shades.

We hear Roberta say that sometimes our darkest moments hold the key to our future.

We’re at a pool with a bunch of gorgeous women. A phone is picked up by a creepy hand with black nails. On the other end, “The Man” answers and says, “Just one more” and “24-hours.” He says that mercy has a different meaning where he is. He goes into a boxcar where there are prisoners with hoods over their heads. He tells them it will all be over soon.

The Man drives to a compound. He’s wearing flip-flops with a suit, wears one earring and looks like a bald Chris Reeve. He tells them he’s looking for a Dr. Harold Teller. He shows them a paper and says his is the last name on the list, the others are accounted for. The guard says they don’t know the doctor, but The Man says he’s founder of Mercy Sciences where they all worked. The guard accuses The Man of kidnapping people and says he’s nothing but an executioner. The Man says he’s just misunderstood. The guard asks for a badge. The Man says it’s the apocalypse and he doesn’t need a badge, making me laugh. He says he’s authorized to do whatever it takes to talk to the doctor. A zombie ambles by and he has it incapacitated and a mouth guard put on it, saying he’s “recycling.” The guard says the doctor died, but The Man has a drone photo taken yesterday. He’s better than The Real Housewives at having an answer for everything. A little boy throws something at him and gets knocked out for his trouble. The Man says if the doctor doesn’t show up in 24-hours, the child dies and it’s on them. The little boy gets thrown in the trunk. The boy’s sister asks Dr. Teller if he’s going to let her brother die. The Man also reminds me of a character out of a Dean Koontz novel. Like one of those government killing machines.

The boy regains consciousness next to an angry zombie. He pops the trunk and jumps out, running through the woods. He runs into 10K who brings him to the Operation Bitemark group.

Operation Bitemark is facing its own group of zombies. Cassandra is there, so this must be in the past. I get chills, I’m so happy to see the opening credits. which are similar to Ash vs. the Evil Dead. Zombie killing is interspersed with the credits.

Roberta wipes her blade. Murphy has his baby, Lucy, with him. The little boy says you gotta kill man. Roberta tells Doc to give the kid some water and says they’re not killing anybody. He can’t seem to drink out of a cup and caws at Murphy. Roberta says the apocalypse must be all he knows and asks if he has a family. He says a sister and she asks if she’s with the others who are in trouble. They discuss helping, but tell him they’re on a mission. The boy steals 10K‘s gun and runs. 10K runs after him and the boy’s sister pops him in the head from behind. She and 10K struggle and the rest of the group shows up.

Doc grabs the kid and the sister is gotten under control. Roberta says they’re going to talk. She asks what the child is so afraid of. The sister tells her about The Man and his list. She says he’s coming back in the morning and he’s going to kill them one by one until he finds the doctor. Doc asks what’s up with that, and she says some people say he’s some kind of avenging angel. It turns out the little boy was raised by crows and does a lot of cawing. He looks like a perfect Toby for Sweeney Todd.

Addie looks at the compound and says they could use vehicles. Murphy asks if now is the time he shows them the tattoo on his ass that says “never get off the boat.” They decide to check things out and Murphy says it’s time to really get that tattoo and maybe one for Cassandra.

They all head to the compound and go through an opening in the fence. The woman brings them through and tells the guard that they’re here to help. He wants them to go and Murphy says they’re not planning on staying. The woman tells Dr. Teller that they saved her brother. Roberta says he must be the man on the list.

Roberta talks to Dr. Teller. She asks why they don’t leave and he says it’s all they have left and asks if they can help. She says lives are at stake for them too. He says he knows they have other priorities, but his people have vehicles and food and can help in return.

The boy plays with a crow he calls “the old one.” 10K asks if the boy was really raised by a murder of crows. The woman says for two years the crows took care of him. She’s not really his sister, but found him a year ago. 10K introduces himself and explains his name, saying that he’s at 3225½ zombies, since one was only a torso. The woman’s name is Red. 10K says Doc says red is an unlucky color, but she says she’s still alive. She’s going for food with her not really brother and asks if he wants to come along.

Murphy rocks Lucy. He asks Cassandra if she said something, but it’s not her he’s hearing. He hears the sounds of zombies, but sees nothing except people. He puts the baby down and decides to look around. He tells Cassandra to keep an eye on her and feed her if she gets hungry. Hope she doesn’t take that eye thing literally.

Murphy walks quietly through the makeshift town

The Man comes back. He tells the boy he’s glad to see he’s okay. They were afraid the zombie had eaten him. He drops a body and says they had to show one of their guards mercy. He wants the doctor. A guard says The Man told them 24 hours and he says he lied. Each person there says they’re Dr. Teller, while the real one hides inside.

The Man says apparently Dr. Teller has made some friends and Spartacus is one of his favorite movies, but he and his clones are crucified upside down in the end. Roberta asks why he doesn’t leave everyone alone. He asks who she is and she says Dr. Teller. He says he’ll give them more time to think through the consequences of cooperating. He says have the real doctor waiting or he’ll find him through the process of elimination. He says don’t be a hero and Roberta says don’t come back.

Commercial break and I get excited all over again because I have no life.

10K and Red are about to leave and Crow Boy shows up looking like a 10K mini-me and follows. Doc asks if he’s supposed to be 5K, which is what we’ll call him now.

Dr. Teller discusses defense with Roberta and the others. She wants to stay and fight. He thanks them, saying they would’t have a chance without them. Addie doesn’t understand why The Man didn’t just overtake the place. Roberta asks what they want with the doctor and he says he doesn’t know. He says he was developing new pain meds from mold, but the lab is contaminated now. Roberta wants to see what they have in man power.

It’s not much. Roberta tells them if they do exactly what she says, they might live. She teaches them how to shoot and how to not waste ammunition.

Roberta talks about the silo full of zombies in Kansas. She says The Man likes messing with people’s heads, and maybe someone should mess with his. She asks if there are any Clint Eastwood fans in the group.

Murphy noses around the compound. He goes into a building where sounds are drawing him. There are creatures trapped inside that look like the zombies from Planet Terror. Voices in his head tell him to please kill them. He asks what happened to them and his head starts to hurt. He cries out and backs away. Dr. Teller comes in and asks what he’s doing there. He says the doctor has a zombie torture chamber going on and he could hear them crying out for mercy. Dr. Teller says they can’t speak. Murphy wants to know why they haven’t been mercied. The doctor says they’re not zombies but humans. At least he thinks they are

Murphy says he can hear what one of them is thinking. The doctor says it’s his wife, Sarah. Murphy tells him she wants to know where their son, Andrew, is.

Dr. Teller sys she hasn’t been able to speak for years. Murphy says he’s a zombie whisperer. The doctor says they’ve been exposed, but they’re not zombies. Sarah was his partner in Mercy Labs. They were genetically modifying fungus to find a cure. They were able to stop the virus from spreading, but it had horrible side effects. Zombies overran the lab, and the fungus went everywhere. It stopped the virus from killing them, but the fungus also overran their bodies. No one could bring themselves to mercy them, so he tried to keep them comfortable. No one thought hey’d live long, but it’s been four years.

Crows circle overhead. 10K teaches 5K how to work a slingshot. Obviously, no one eats crow around here. Except maybe metaphorically.

Lucy starts to cry and Cassandra doesn’t know what to do. Doc says maybe they should get out while they still can. Murphy says they should move on and let the people sort it out. He says it’s the definition of a lost cause. Roberta says if they leave now, the people will die tomorrow morning. She says they have a good plan of defense and maybe they can reason with The Man. Murphy is like, yeah right, and she says they have to be ready unless he comes back early. She says he wants Dr. Teller alive. Doc asks what if he won’t leave well enough alone, and she says sh*t will fly then.

Cassandra is breast feeding Lucy. Doc and Addie are mystified and Murphy asks if they don’t have someplace to be or something to blow up.

Roberta goes outside and finds 10K, Red and 5K. 5K slingshots a snake and offers some to her, who declines. Roberta tells them she’s checking the perimeter and they should get back inside. A crow finishes the snake.

Roberta sees The Man in the distance and follows him. Who is this dude? And why is he wearing flip-flops? She comes up behind him with a gun and shoots but it’s not him and the real man comes up behind her and knocks her out. Dammit, Roberta! You should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.

Addie looks for Roberta and finds her sword. The Man makes a phone call to the pool. He says to make sure there’s a transport standing by. We’re back where we started.

In the boxcar, The Man says it will all be over soon. Except for one prisoner – Roberta. He says she’s not going anywhere. She says they’ll kill him. He says maybe. She says the doctor would go but doesn’t want to leave his wife; she’s dying. He says everyone is dying and he has a schedule to keep, adding, let’s see how much her friends love her.

He says judgement is upon us but ultimately it is’t going to make a difference. He tells one of his men to keep an eye on Roberta.

Addie tells Doc that The Man has Roberta. He says stick with Plan A. They’ll want to trade her for the doctor. Murphy translates Sarah’s thoughts for Dr. Teller. He says either way he’s screwed, whether he stays or goes. Doc tells them about Roberta, but says they stick with Plan A, full tilt boogie. Murphy is a little distressed that Roberta is gone, but Doc is adamant that they follow through.

Plan A goes into effect. Operation Bitemark locks down the town. Red and 10K are outside with 5K on watch. All kinds of crazy stuff is happening. Sandbags are put into cannons, as much corrugated steel as possible is made into blockades, weapons are handed out. Everyone dons red suits and Doc wearing his red shades; there’s red everywhere. Murphy takes Lucy from Cassandra and stores her in a cooler. The doctor brings Murphy and Cassandra suits to shield them from contamination.

The Man’s guard plays solitaire. The Man looks at the compound behind his aviators. He says the good and the bad is about to get ugly.

Doc tells Dr. Teller to stay out of site until he’s called for, and let him do the talking. The Man’s caravan comes down the road. Everyone is ready. The Man says despite their best efforts, the people are going to put up a fight, and to remember why they’re doing this.

10K and Red see the caravan go by. 10K runs with the old crow flying ahead. The Man gets out of his car. Doc tells everyone to move out. He points his gun at The Man, who has worn normal shoes for this occasion, but has paired them with pants and a suit vest with nothing underneath it, which is kind of awesome looking. The Man unfurls a red handkerchief. A truck horn blows and he tells them to open up.

Doc tells him that he’d better not hurt Roberta. The Man says she’s not on his list, but Dr. Teller is, and he wants a trade. Doc says he wants to know that Roberta is alive. The Man tells the guard to put Spartacus on the radio. Well he can’t, he’s dead. Roberta says she’s still alive, but his men not so much, and she’s coming for him now. Doc calls The Man “Kojack” and says he ’d better be gone by the time she gets there. The Man says to send in the clowns.

A truckload of zombies is set free. Doc goes behind the barricade. I’m thinking this should be nothing for them, but these zombies are particularly enthusiastic and energetic. They claw and pull at the fence. Everyone inside shoots and some people have individual barricades that they’re inside.

From a distance Roberta and company see what’s going on, while The Man has a snack. The zombies get in, but are thwarted by the barricades. Roberta and the group get inside, but 5K is freaked for a moment and he and 10K get separated from the girls. There are zombies all over the place at this point.

The Man shrugs it off when he sees them coming. Roberta and Red join the others. The man pulls the truck horn and says, “release the kraken.” A bunch of zombies on chains come out. They’re wearing homemade metal helmets and their hair is sticking out in some places, so it’s pretty bizarre looking. A guy wearing a hood and brandishing a whip urges them on. This is seriously wild. They’re like a team of insane horses. They bust into the compound and everyone is like, uh-oh, what now? I say shoot them in the kneecaps. If they can’t walk, they can’t get to you.

Roberta says the zombies have been mercy proofed and Doc says that’s not fair. OMG – they’re just knocking down all the barricades and getting through everywhere. Roberta calls to Addie and says get ready to open up. Doc says, oh sh*t, and everyone moves out of the way. Roberta lights the cannons.

When the smoke clears, the zombies and whipping guy are down. Whew! That was gooood!

Doc says he’d pay money to see that again. Suddenly, The Man is there, cracking the whip with the dead whipmaster in his other arm. The mercy proofed zombies come back to life, Take them down at the knees, I say, or better yet shoot The Man. The Man shoots the chains, breaking them so the zombies go free. Roberta yells for everyone to fall back and get into the lab. They all go inside.

The Man calls for his live men, who come into the lab with guns. Sarah leads Dr. Teller, Murphy and Cassandra to the back. She leaves to help the others. They hear gunfire.

10K and his mini me get separated in an area where there are tanks of some kind, either for water or gas. 5K crawls into a pipe to get away from a zombie, but the bastard crawls in after him. 10K shows up, pulling the zombie out and giving it mercy.

The helmet zombies are going nuts bouncing off the walls. The live guys with the guns are behind them, using stun guns to control them forward. They go through the lab, kicking doors open. The Man stands outside, calling for Dr. Teller. He says it doesn’t have to end like this. He calls for Spartacus to send out the doctor and all will be forgiven.

5K shoots a gear into The Man’s chest with the slingshot. This doesn’t phase him one bit and he says he takes that as a no. 10K drags the boy out of harm’s way.

Sarah lurks in the dark of the lab. A few glow-in-the-dark zombies are on the loose. Roberta opens the door a crack and sees a lab zombie stomp the crap out of a gunman. 10k and 5k take aim, but are distracted with another attack. The Man gets into the building and sees the dead dude they left behind, picks up some duct tape and plastic, and continues on. I’m confused

Dr Teller brings Sarah in. She’s dying. I think. He cries and says he’s sorry. Murphy tells him she says he can end it now. He tells her he loves her and kisses her. Yuk! Zombie spittle! Murphy says he needs to mercy her and gives him a gun. Dr. Teller shoots her in the head. She’s still glowing though.

God only knows what they’ve all been exposed to The wall blows open and The Man walks in wearing a a plastic and duct tape suit. Very MacGyver of him. Murphy asks what his problem is. He says he has no problem with Murphy, Murphy isn’t on his list. He wants Dr. Teller. Dr Teller says he’s not going anywhere. He tries to shoot himself, but the gun is out of ammunition. He mumbles, “Goddam apocalypse,” and I laugh.

The Man says it’s time to go, knocks the doctor out, slings him over his shoulder, and walks out.through the hole in the wall. Murphy says that’s why they call him “The Man.”

No. It’s almost over.

Operation Bitemark sneaks through the lab. One of the helmet zombies takes Doc down, but he manages to shoot it under the helmet. More zombies pop out, and finally one of the gunmen gets eaten when he tries to attack Doc.

Back by the tanks, 10K runs from a zombie horde. He give 5K a knife. Oh sh*t! They’re trapped between the tanks and some cement barriers. They’re blocked in. So far, the zombies are too stupid to realize they could climb over the barriers (kind of like muskrats trying to get into your garden). They’re separated from the zombies, but there’s no escape. All of a sudden, 5K is gone.

Addie sees one the people she helped train lying there dead. Before she can grieve for two seconds, a helmet zombie comes in and she makes mincemeat out of it with her battleaxe, smashing through its helmet. It’s a little Monty Python-ish for a moment.

Roberta tells Murphy they’re going to make them GTFO. Operation Bitemark goes through the lab, killing what or whoever isn’t with them. They come out into the light. Roberta looks around and asks where everybody is, but there are no survivors. Murphy says he told her, never get off the boat. A helicopter flies overheard, carrying a boxcar underneath it.

The Man sits in a car watching the helicopter. He takes a paper out of an envelope and looks at it. A new list? He starts the car. 10K returns. Red asks where 5K is. He says he tried to find him, but he was gone. Red doesn’t want to believe it and runs for the gate. 10K runs after her. Cassandra tackles him and I wonder if this a foreshadowing of her death.

We hear Roberta’s voice say that the worst thing about the apocalypse isn’t dying or turning zombie. The worst thing is surviving. Red charges the zombie horde.

The helicopter goes over the pool and lands nearby. We see the creepy hand again. The people in the hoods get out of the boxcar. They’re led to the pool by one of the bathing beauties. Another one removes their hoods. They blink at the sun. Are they food? Does the creepy hand drink the blood of engineers?? Does The Man have a new list and will we see him again???

The old crow gathers with his murder. They pay respect to 5K’s body. A bizarrely poignant ending.

Next time looks more fun than a barrel of zombies. The zombies have weapons and the crew gets a real boat.

And where are Citizen Z and Pup?

I have to take a nap now. Not really. I’m going to watch this again.

Quotes of the Week

One of the worst days in America’s history saw some of the bravest acts in Americans’ history. We’ll always honor the heroes of 9/11. And here at this hallowed place, we pledge that we will never forget their sacrifice. — President George W. Bush at the Pentagon in 2008

If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate.— Sandy Dahl, wife of Flight 93 pilot Jason Dahl, in Shanksville, Pa., in 2002

Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens. — Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Sep15

September 14, 2016 – GH’s Hayden Gets Caught, LA’s Christy Gets Evidence, NYC Wives Get to the End & AHS Begins

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis and Diane show up early for court. Alexis says Molly helped grill her, but she’s used to asking the questions, not answering them. She can’t believe the day is finally here and it’s going to be the beginning of the end for Julian, She says it’s divine justice that her testimony will be the one to put him away.

Julian is shaving, although I’m questioning why anyone would be giving a prisoner a razor blade. He says it’s his last day there and asks if the guard will miss him.

Carly tells Sonny once Julian is put away, they’ll get their lives back. Fat chance of that, since you’re characters on a soap opera.

Elizabeth says Hayden had no right to the diamonds. Hayden says Elizabeth had no right to her blood either, but she gave it to her. Franco tells them again that they’re sisters and he can prove it. Elizabeth asks if he’s just being his usual wildly inappropriate self, but he says he didn’t want them to find out this way. He tells them that they have the same father and explains that Jeff Webber had an affair with Hayden’s mother while he was married, and their gift to the world is Hayden.

Finn tells Tracy he was a suspect and ended up in jail, so the board is unlikely to listen to him.

Monica is on the phone in the half-dark of her office. She tells Epiphany she’s busy and doesn’t want any interruptions. Paul grabs Monica from behind and injects her. He tells her she got what she deserved. As he’s leaving, he runs into Sabrrrina, and I die laughing at the look on his face. Sabrrrina wants to talk to Monica and like an idiot Paul just lurks around while she goes into the office. Sabrrrina finds Monica on the floor.

Carly asks Sonny how the jury could do anything but send Julian to prison for the rest of his life. Sonny says a lot can still go wrong. He says Ava should have gone to prison for killing Connie and the confession disappeared. Carly insists Julian is going away for good and maybe they can go on their long-delayed honeymoon. She says she needs to help at the hotel since Leo is sick, and Sonny says that another good thing about Julian being locked up for life is that Leo will never know what a creep his father is.

Tracy tells Finn the suspension was lifted and the board will listen. He says maybe they’re tired of hearing him defended and maybe tired of him altogether. She says she personally needs his support. He tells her she should have presented it that way to begin with, and he’ll support her in anything. On the way out, they run into Michael, who asks about the hospital closing. Tracy says not if she and Finn have anything to say about it. She tells him the silly look of love on his face is annoying and she wants to know what his intentions are with Sabrrrina.

Diane has Alexis do deep breathing exercises in the witness box. She says once Alexis is done with her testimony, she’ll never have to see Julian again. Alexis says the thought of being married to him sickens her. Diane asks if she can handle condemning him in front of a jury.

Julian looks for his tie. Sonny comes in – using his own key – and asks if this is the tie he’s looking for, twisting it in his hands.

Hayden tells Franco that’s a lie. Her father is Raymond Berlin and he might not be perfect, but she loves him and he loves her. She says her mother even told her she looks like him. Franco says maybe she was compensating. Elizabeth says her father could do no wrong, and her parents marriage was perfect in every way, and she wants to know where he got this information. He says from Heather, and while she is a lunatic who shouldn’t be taken at face value, Naomi confirmed it.

Finn asks if Tracy shouldn’t be clutching some pearls while she questions Michael. Tracy says if Michael isn’t making a commitment, she needs to know. She doesn’t want Sabrrrina wasting her time. Michael says he’s meeting Sabrrrina later and having a serious conversation with her. He shows them a ring and says he’s asking her to be his wife. Carly overhears and says, hell no.

Paul appears Monica’s office doorway. Sabrrrina asks what happened and Paul acts like he was on his way to get help. Just not very quickly.

Diane tells Alexis she needs to bring her A-game. She asks what if Julian stands up and declares his love again. Alexis says she’ll vomit and Diane says, no she won’t. She’ll act indifferent. Diane says if he’d had his way, Alexis would be cold in the ground, and her daughters would have no mother. She says Alexis can’t get emotional or she’ll come off as the wronged woman. Diane tells her that Paul will be very dramatic and showboat. She goes over what Paul might say.

Julian calls for the guard, but Sonny says he’s on break, giving them private time. He says a while back, he offered Julian a deal and he needs an answer. Is he pleading guilty or going to have a fatal accident his first week in prison? Julian says nothing has changed and he’s taking his chances with the trial. He says Sonny is only worried about him getting acquitted. Sonny says he’s worried about Kristina’s mother and doesn’t want her put through reliving everything.

Alexis says she knows Julian’s moves and she’s ready. She tells Diane about how she even asked Julian to speak to the bar and he refused. He wouldn’t lift a finger to help her. She says Julian is a narcissist and she’s sending him to prison. Diane tells her to hang onto that thought.

Hayden asks in what world Franco knows her mother. Franco tells her about Naomi visiting Heather the same day he did, and finding out that Heather was blackmailing her. Hayden wonders if her father knows. She puts two and two together about how Naomi has been acting about Elizabeth, wanting Hayden to be nice to her. Hayden says she saved her sister’s life, and her sister repaid her by destroying hers.

Sabrrrina does CPR on Monica. Monica starts to breathe and Sabrrrina calls for help.

Tracy says if Carly doesn’t think Sabrrrina is good enough for her son, they should take a trip down Memory Lane, because Carly hasn’t always been perfect. Finn tells Tracy that they should get back to the hospital. They leave. Carly tells Michael they need the kind of love that transforms you and sustains you, and she doesn’t think they feel that way about each other. Nice of her to define love for someone else.

The doctor finds an injection site on Monica’s neck and tells Sabrrrina to get the police. In the hallway, Paul gives instructions about the trial to someone on the phone. Sabrrrina interrupts him and tells him about the injection mark. He says he’ll call the police, and she realizes he never got help. Paul goes humana-humana and makes me laugh. He says he’ll call the commissioner. He reaches into his pocket and Sabrrrina makes a soap opera face looking at his hand. I actually like Paul a lot and hope that somehow they keep him on as a character. Or we could always find out he has a brother, like Carrrlos suddenly did.

Franco says maybe Elizabeth doesn’t seem super grateful, but she didn’t ruin Hayden’s life. Hayden is like, oh yeah? and tells him what happened with the diamonds. Elizabeth says she wasn’t going to let Hayden get away with pushing her down the stairs. Franco tells her about the picture and how it was a man who did it. Elizabeth says if she’d known, she’d have done it differently. She asks for a phone. The phone rings its Nathan. Nathan tells her something we don’t hear. She tells Franco that Nathan has the diamonds, Sabrrrina told them everything, and she’s sorry. Hayden says she is too; she’s sorry she ever wasted her time or a drop of her blood saving Elizabeth’s miserable life.

Diane says the cooler Alexis stays, the more rattled the defense becomes. Alexis says she’s ready for anything Paul does, and she’s not going to let Julian or Scotty get to her. Diane has to leave and tells her good luck.

Sonny tells Julian about Alexis getting her license suspended. Julian pretends to be concerned. Sonny says if he wants to do something for her, plead guilty, and goes over all the despicable things Julian has done. He says do the right thing for once, own up to what he did and take the consequences. Sonny leaves, locking the cell behind him. He passes Scotty.

Scotty asks why sonny was there. Julian says he wants to plead guilty. Oh wow.

Michael asks what gives Carly the right to decide Sabrrrina doesn’t love him? Carly says she passed the baby off as his and has proved it over and over. Michael is like, and you’ve never done anything like that? She says what has Sabrrrina ever done for him.

Sabrrrina starts babbling and backing away from Paul. He grabs her and covers her mouth.

Scotty has a mini freak out. Julian says it’s not like he’s going to be acquitted anyway. Scotty says he’d be lying if he said the odds were in Julian’s favor because of the recording, but the only way to fight is to discredit Alexis. He tells Scotty to go make a deal, shocking all of us.

Sonny asks Alexis if she’s okay. He says he’s not judging, just the opposite. He tells her he did her a favor, but not to get her hopes up.

Scotty is given an envelope that was just delivered. He takes something out and says, wait till they get a load of this.

The doctor works on Monica. Tracy asks what happened and the doctor tells her about the injection mark.

Finn runs into Hayden, who tells him about the diamonds. He says he’s sorry and it’s bad news, but not the end of the world. She says she committed a federal crime. She has to get out of there and isn’t even stopping to pack.

Franco takes the phone away from Elizabeth, who says this could all be a lie since no one is credible. She says Hayden is a stranger and a liar and a thief, but she saved her life. She’s pretty upset about thinking Hayden tried to kill her. She wonders who the man in the picture is, and why he’d want to kill her.

Paul drags Sabrrrina into Monica’s office. She’s screaming and crying and struggling and he’s freaking out, saying sorry he can’t spare her.

Carly tells Michael that he’s too compassionate for his own good. Sabrrrina has been hurt and he’s trying to make up for it. He tells Carly it’s more than that, but if she can’t accept it, too bad. She asks him to just give it some time and think about it. She says she wants to support him, but give the family time to trust Sabrrrina again.

Sabrrrina tries to get to her phone, but Paul tosses it aside. These two are really good in this scene, very realistic reactions.

Carly tells Michael that he and Sabrrrina have the rest of their lives together. Michael says they love each other and he doesn’t give a damn if she doesn’t believe it. He’s going to ask Sabrrrina to marry him.

Sabrrina lies unconscious. Her phone rings. It’s Michael texting that he has a surprise for her.

Tracy talks to an unconscious Monica, telling her that she can’t do it without her.

Hayden says she has to go as soon as possible. Finn tells her she can’t run that far and that there’s always another way out. If she stays, he’ll be with her every step of the way. He tells her to come with him and they’ll make a plan. Roxie likes her, so she can stay with him as long as she likes.

Oh crap. Too late. The Feds come out of the elevator and arrest her.

Franco tells Elizabeth to focus on recovery. She says she has to figure out how to fix it with Hayden, and the only reason she gave over the diamonds was because she thought Hayden tried to kill her. Franco says deep down Hayden knows that too, and he’d never forgive himself if what he told Elizabeth interfered with her recovery. Elizabeth says he’s been there for her and they hold hands.

Alexis gets ready to testify, while Scotty tells Julian that he has his ticket to freedom. He has a has a better deal for Julian in the envelope.

Tomorrow, Alexis thinks Sonny tried to get Julian to make a noble gesture and it was a futile effort, Paul comes to court late saying he had an emergency, and the doctor continues to work on Monica.

Little Women: LA

Christy and family are bowling. Todd and Christy’s mother have been on a league, but Christy bowls about as well as I do. Which isn’t very good. I think my high score is 90. They talk about the Murder Mystery Party. Todd and Christy whine about how the girls blamed her for Briana being served a summons at Kerwin’s party, and flash back to that. Christy insists she had nothing to do with it. Todd makes some excuse about Julie figuring it out herself because she knew Christy’s schedule. Todd brings up the girls suggesting that Christy is popping pills. Christy says something about Matt hitting on a transgender woman, and thinks she should bring her to meet the girls. Her mom thinks that’s a fine idea, but Todd isn’t so sure.

Jason meets Terra for a dance class. In her interview, she talks about trying to get in dancing shape before her gig on Dancing with the Stars. Joe isn’t thrilled with it happening only three weeks after her c-section. After class, Terra talks to Jason. She tells him what’s been happening with the girls and about her DWTS gig. She says she hasn’t told the girls yet. Jason is thrilled for her.

Christy thinks Jasmine is fake because one minute she’s nice and the next she’s a bitch like Terra. She wants to find out if Jasmine is on her side, so they meet for lunch. Jasmine asks how Christy’s father is, but he’s not doing well. Jasmine apologizes for being harsh. She says she’s been frustrated with Christy, because Briana has been through so much. She says Christy spilled the beans about the transgender thing and then had a hand in Briana being served. Jasmine asks how she knew it was going to happen, and Christy says Julie told her that Briana was in trouble. In her interview, Jasmine wonders how they can forgive Christy for something she won’t admit to. Jasmine tells Christy that she doesn’t understand her actions, and Christy says she’s not the bad guy, Matt is.

It’s 102 degrees, and Terra wants to live in the pool. Joe joins her, saying it was fitting that Christy was the murderer at the party. Terra says she’s the only link to Julie and wonders if a one on one with Julie would help. She says she has a good relationship with her, even though she didn’t want to have the same publicist as Briana. She wants to get to the bottom of this and Joe wants to get to the bottom of her bikini. Ha-ha! Joe cracks me up.

Baby Maverick comes home after spending two weeks in the ICU. Briana explains that because of her type of dwarfism, she has no sense of smell, so it’s both a hindrance and a blessing when it comes to dirty diapers. Matt says he never wants to go backwards again and tells Briana how beautiful she looks.

Terra meets with Julie, and Julie asks what she wants to talk about. Terra says Briana was served papers at a party. Julie explains how Briana stranded her in Las Vegas not showing up for an appearance, and how later Matt called and said they were unhappy with the contract. Terra says this version is very different from Briana’s and Julie thinks Matt is the problem. Julie says that she had no address for Briana after she moved and she hired an investigator to hunt her down. She says Christy called after the party wondering why Briana was served, but Julie said she doesn’t discuss other clients. In her interview, Terra says that Christy claimed she hadn’t known the papers were served at the party, yet obviously she did. Julie says that Christy wasn’t involved, but Terra feels like a piece of the story is still missing. Yes, I’m aware of how stupid this all sounds.

The girls, minus Christy and Briana, take an archery class. Terra says they need to take their frustration out on something. Jasmine looks really cool. She has feathers in her hair that match her orange tank top. These girls always have some interesting fashion choices going on. They have a little tournament after the learn some skills.

Afterwards, they sit and chat. Tonya says her activewear line is coming out this week. She’s having a photo shoot and would like them to model. Terra balks at modeling while she so pregnant. We flash back to the whole altercation between Tonya and Terra about the line. Terra says she wants to invite Christy. Jasmine talks about meeting with her and how her dad has cancer. Tonya says she thought he’d just had a cancer scare. Jasmine says that Christy told her that her father is dying. Terra thinks she’s deflecting. In her interview, Terra says her own father died from cancer and hopes Christy’s father recovers, but she doesn’t think that’s the reason Christy is acting this way. Jasmine thinks they should be supportive. Terra tells them about the meeting with Julie and how she caught a slip up. Elena thinks Christy isn’t a bad person and is just trying to fix her friendship with Briana, but continues to shoot herself in the foot. Tonya says Christy is crazy, but harmless, and the girls need to accept her for who she is. She tells the girls that until Christy fixes whatever her problem is, it’s going to continue to cycle back around, and them jumping into it isn’t helping.

Preston takes Elena for a gondola ride. They’re having a date night. Elena talks about how she worries about the babies constantly. She says she feels like she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she must be doing something right. She tells Preston about the archery tournament and how they had fun with no fighting. She talks about how she has a different perspective about what’s going on with Christy. Preston asks if she could talk to Christy, but Elena thinks it might be pointless. She says Christy not seeing there’s a problem is part of the problem.

Plastic (yes, that’s her name), a transgender friend of Briana’s and Christy’s, confided in Christy that Matt was sexting her. Plastic and Christy go for a manicure. Plastic says it’s been uncomfortable. She got a private message from Matt after she and Briana posted a picture on Instagram. At first she thought he was legit friendly, but then he started talking about how Briana isn’t adventurous and he wanted to meet with Plastic before her surgery because it would turn him on more. He claimed to have a tranny fetish and a dwarf fetish. He sent her a d*ck pic and that was the end of it. Plastic thinks he’s objectifying the both of them.

The girls meet for Tonya’s photo shoot. She hopes it goes better than the fitness video. She wanted two average sized people, but one couldn’t make it, so her daughter will be the only one. She says she wanted all kinds of people, little and average, pregnant, fit, and Christy. She asks Elena if she’ll work as director. Elena tells her she should have had someone there to do makeup. Terra asks where the logo is and gloats when she finds out Tonya changed it. In her interview, Terra says she thought the logo was the problem, but then Christy showed up.

The girls actually look pretty cute. Everyone is enjoying the shoot, and then Plastic shows up. Tonya is annoyed. She didn’t want any extra people because she needs the models to focus. Christy introduces Plastic and then reminds everyone about when she told them Matt chatted up a transgender. Tonya says love you, but whatever Matt does is his business and it’s irrelevant. Plastic says she’s there because the ladies have been getting on Christy’s case. She says Matt wrote to her that he has a transgender fetish and Tonya says he has a fetish for everyone. Tonya says they don’t need to prove this, and Plastic needs to go.

I know I’m the one who decided to invest in this show, but sometimes I just shake my head. If someone showed up at my photo shoot uninvited when I was on the clock, we wouldn’t even have been discussing it this far. They would have been an in and out item. No pun intended.

Plastic is offended and Tonya says she wasn’t invited. She tells Christy that Plastic has to go and they don’t give a flying about Marr. In her interview, Elena says she gets what Christy is trying to prove, but why here? Plastic calls Tonya transophobic. I guess Plastic doesn’t understand about paying for studio time. Terra can’t believe she said that. Tonya says she has no problem with transgenders, but she has a problem with someone taking up her shoot time. She and Plastic trade insults. Christy is clueless as to why Tonya would be angry about this. Lots of F-Us exchanged. Angelique tries to keep Tonya from popping Plastic in the nose…er, knee. They finally leave and Tonya is livid. She says she tried to be nice and include Christy, and this is what she gets. Outside, Plastic continues to call Tonya transphobic. Jasmine says she’d actually felt sorry for Christy.

No preview.

The Real Housewives of NYC – The Reunion – Part Three

We open with Sonja’s sobriety, flashing back to the various women discussing her drinking, among each other and with her. Surprise! her life and relationships improve when she calls it quits. Andy gives her props. Sonja says she always quits around the holidays and just decided to extend her abstinence. She says she has the occasional sip of something now, but never finishes a glass. The Countess compliments her and the others also give her kudos. Andy asks Bethenny about being too harsh, and she agrees that she was. Sonja says she understood and knows how Bethenny operates. Dorinda tells Sonja she’s delusional and makes it about the trip to the Berkshires.

Sonja tarnishes things a little by pointing fingers, mostly at Ramona, because she was supposed to go in on Tipsy Girl. We move on to the Berkshires trip like Dorinda wanted us to. She stands by her decision. I guess to ask them to leave. Or maybe that she made it nice. The Countess says she worked through it, and Bethenny says she did call Dorinda afterward. Andy says Dorinda must have had respect for Sonja when she was so much fun sober. Sonja says friends don’t exclude friends, and she was alone around the holidays. Dorinda tells her that she needs to sort her sh*t out. Sonja talks about being excluded again and Bethenny tells her to put it in perspective since it was only one night.

Sonja says Dorinda doesn’t care about her feelings and she walks off. She says she doesn’t want to be a part of the show unless Dorinda admits to not caring. Andy says everyone just said how incredible she is, and the women encourage her to sit back down. Sonja talks in a whiny voice and cozies up to Jules.

We revisit Miami. We got the yacht! The ring! Sonja’s lover! We’re getting married! I love the little squares where we see the Wives reactions to the videos. Andy asks if The Countess had been worried about inviting other women he dated to the engagement party. Jules says that two of her bridesmaids were ex-girlfriends of her husband, but we know how that ended up, so…

Sonja regrets her remarks about The Countess’s ring, although I didn’t like the ring either. The Countess says she didn’t take it personally, and Sonja says sorry again, adding that she was really mad at Tom. Andy brings up Bethenny calling Dorinda the village idiot. Bethenny says Dorinda plays ignorance is bliss. She says Dorinda is always the last to know. Dorinda says she’s just a hopeful person, but thanks for the analysis. Bethenny asks Dorinda to define village idiot and Dorinda does a Quasimodo impression. Bethenny says she didn’t get the metaphor, but I don’t either.Although I more think of Otis on The Andy Griffith Show.

Andy brings up Bethenny chastising Carole for being late to dinner and everyone talks at once. Jules talks about Carole being nicer and more relaxed when she’s not around Bethenny. A couple of the ladies say Bethenny’s personality out-shadows Carole’s. Andy bugs Ramona about lying when she went to Bagatelle, but Ramona says she avoids conflict. Dorinda says Bethenny browbeats people, calling them names and being nasty, and she often walks away feeling bad after talking to her. Bethenny says that’s how she feels right now. I like Bethenny, but I have to agree that this season she’s been pretty aggressive. I chalked it up to the horror that is suckerfish Jason Hoppy.

On to the moment we’ve all been waiting for – the Tom bomb. Roll the tape! Dorinda and The Countess whisper to each other throughout. Andy wonders how Bethenny got the pictures. She says someone who is in that circle sent her the pictures one night in the wee hours. Andy brings up The Countess saying she had an open marriage with Alex. She denies saying it, but everyone agrees that she did. She makes up a bunch of stuff. Andy asks Bethenny why she didn’t tell The Countess first and The Countess interjects that they wanted to talk about her behind her back and say she’s the village idiot. The Countess says she should have gone to Dorinda, if anyone, since she’d introduced them, instead of Ramona and Carole.

The Countess asks why Bethenny asked her about monogamy. Bethenny says she’s not doing this anymore and gets up. This must be around the eleventh hour, when everyone is sweaty, starving, and out of their minds. She twirls around a little and sits back down. Bethenny tries to explain that she didn’t know what to do, so she asked questions and almost called Tom. She says she didn’t want to see The Countess hurt and wants her to be happy, and that’s why she was so emotional. For some reason, Dorinda looks smug. Maybe she’s thinking about her laundry man, John.

Andy asks if The Countess thinks Bethenny is sincere. The Countess says all the investigation Bethenny did seemed odd. Bethenny says she wanted to be sure and most people want to know what, when and where. The Countess says she was devestated and shocked. Andy asks what Tom said on the phone, since we didn’t hear it. The Countess says they’d had a fight and he went to The Regency, got drunk, and saw an old girlfriend. She says in the morning, he was in bed where he was supposed to be. She says it was embarrassing and heartbreaking.

Andy asks if they’d all want to know if their partner was cheating, and everyone says yes. The Countess says the problem was how it was done and she wishes Dorinda had told her. Bethenny says next time her fiance of one week is making out with someone else, she’ll know what to do.

Dorinda says when they got back, The Countess was in shock. She invited The Countess to stay with her and told her not to see Tom, but The Countess went to a hotel. Dorinda says The Countess was in a state of panic and Tom wanted her to lie about it. She wasn’t about to get in the middle and be the fall guy. Not to mention there was that pesky picture. Dorinda says Tom did give her an apology later. The Countess makes up stuff to make Tom sound better.

The Countess says Tom was sad and sorry, and she decided she wasn’t going to let it ruin her life. Ramona asks what she’d do if he did it again and would she want to know. The Countess says not from Bethenny. She says they love each other and decided to work things out. Since then it’s been unicorns and rainbows. Andy asks how the kids reacted and she says Noel was furious. She had to tell them since she didn’t know if it would come out in some big way. Yeah, like on the show. She says if it happens again, they’d better tell her and Ramona asks if she’s sure.

Andy says he feels crass asking, but Ramona keeps questioning whether The Countess would want to know. He wonders if she knows something. Ramona says she doesn’t. Dammit! I thought we’d get more evidence whipped out. Andy asks The Countess if it hadn’t been so public, would she have been as upset. She says because it was in public, she was less upset because it was obvious he wasn’t thinking clearly.

A viewer asks if The Countess is in love with Tom or in love with being in love with a man like Tom? She says he’s the male version of her. Ramona feels her reasoning is too shallow, but The Countess says he even likes her kids.

The Countess says it’s one of the roughest things she’s ever gone through, and she’s not going to let a kiss ruin their life together. They’re getting married! She thanks the girls for being there for her.

Wrapping it up, Andy asks if Bethenny and The Countess can get past it. Bethenny says it’s been like opening a new wound and The Countess hit a new low saying she was sleeping with a married man. The Countess says she was given misinformation and apologizes.

They go through the things they would have handled differently, and none of them are very interesting or surprising. Dorinda compliments Sonja on being a survivor, saying she admires that in a woman. Ramona says she’s glad The Countess is happy and The Countess wishes them all happiness. She’s getting married!

Andy can’t wait to see what happens next and says they’re the reason why he loves New York women so much. There’s a group hug with everyone except Bethenny, who remains seated.

👻 While I’m not recapping American Horror Story, I’ll be watching. All I have to say about the first episode tonight is that when an amazing old house is cheap, you know there’s going to be a scary problem. A hail storm of teeth was a great start.

Sep6

September 5, 2016 – A Lot of Housewives & a Little Z-Nation

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

My excitement can barely be contained – less than two weeks from now, on September 16, Z-Nation returns! If I was forced to pick only one show to feast on, this would be the one. (With maybe a side order of General Hospital.) While I enjoy both Walking Dead programs, Z-Nation has the sense of humor I love with my horror. For lack of a better word, I also think it’s more realistic and feel more investment in the more well-rounded characters. Chances are, the group you’d be running with during the apocalypse wouldn’t all be depressed and/or depressing. There would always be a Murphy or a Doc who didn’t always take everything so seriously. And it’s still just as relentless in excitement. Lots of fun guest stars too, like Anthony Michael Hall and Gina Gershon, both of whom were wonderful. I also have to admit to a TV crush on Citizen Z and Pup. (I recently discovered that DJ Qualls was originally a model for Prada. While I think he’s cute, I was like, whaaat?) The Sy-we-don’t-know-how-to-spell-Fy network had/has a marathon going on today and will probably have another one before the season premiere, so if you have love for the zombie apocalypse and haven’t seen it yet, give it a try.

No GH for us today. Since it’s a holiday, it was also a rerun. Moving on…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is planning some dune buggy riding during Eddie’s birthday event in Glamis and she’s buying helmets for all the ladies. She calls to see if Meghan is going, but that’s a no due to her pregnancy. Tamra thinks Meghan is being a coward, saying pregnant women run marathons, but I’m with Meghan on this one. Bouncing around in a dune buggy is not the same thing and she’s gone through a lot with the IVF. Tamra says Shannon is acting like she didn’t even get an invite, and she has the feeling Shannon wants to avoid Kelly. She calls Shannon next, telling her about Heather renting an RV. As soon as Tamra tells her who’s coming, suddenly Shannon remembers she has some lung issue where she has to avoid dirt or something. Geez, at least make an effort to create a good story.

Kelly does some shopping for the trip. Her only concern is Heather pointing a judgmental finger at her. She tells her husband about Shannon’s vow renewal and how Vicki wasn’t invited, which she thinks was mean. They look at windbreakers, and Michael makes a typical male joke about breaking wind.

Shannon’s house is finally in escrow, She says it’s been in and out several times, but this time it looks like a go. She’s thinking she won’t be able to pack in the thirteen days before closing. She asks the realtor about more time, but he says that’s not a good idea. I fail to grasp why she hasn’t gotten going on this already. They also have to find a rental, so she gives the realtor her laundry list of wants, which is a lot. Oh no! The rental won’t have crystals buried beneath it like her house does now. How will she survive?

Heather says all she knows about Glamis is that there’s lots of sand and no stores. Horrors! She meets with the RV driver. She was expecting the RV to be like Tom Cruise‘s movie trailer and is disappointed even though it’s got the look of a nice hotel suite. Heather also doesn’t cook, so she’s had her personal chef prepare some dishes. I liked Heather at the beginning, but she’s been working my last nerve this season.

Meghan and Jim have a doctor’s appointment to see if she’s pregnant. She’s glad he’s with her, since he’s been MIA throughout all of the IVF stuff. She says she’s scared to be a mom because she’s Jim’s third wife, and even though he had children with the other two, things didn’t work out. I’m not sure what she’s saying here. That Jim leaves as soon as children are in the picture? I’m laughing because Jim is one of the most emotionless people I’ve ever seen. “Hey, Jim! The house just burned down.” Jim looks at the sky and picks his nose.

The RV picks up Tamra and Kelly. Even though the RV isn’t up to Heather’s expectations, Tamra is impressed, saying she wouldn’t expect anything else from “Fancy Pants.” She’s also concerned about Kelly, who she says is like a rescue dog, who you don’t know whether will lick or bite you. Next, they pick up Vicki.

While on the RV, Kelly suddenly gets nauseous. Vicki has to hold her ears when Kelly throws up, since she’s susceptible to anyone else getting ill. What is wrong with this bunch of wimps? This is the last group who should go camping, or do anything other than stay at a 5-star hotel up to Dubai’s standards. Kelly calls her husband to give him the deets. The driver misses a sign and has to turn around. Tamra thinks Heather should have spent more money on the driver than the vehicle. The ladies sing Kumbaya. This is starting to remind me of the time I took a bus trip through New England with my grandmother and her senior group.

Meghan gets a call from the doctor. Jim yawns and I laugh again. The pregnancy test is positive. He says they’ll do an ultrasound in two weeks. Meghan asks if it could be twins, but the doctor says it’s too early to tell. Jim can barely contain his excitement. Not really.

The camp site is already set up and Eddie is there to greet the ladies. Tamra’s mother is also there and a couple of people I don’t know. Heather introduces her son, Nicky. In her interview, Heather gushes over the place, going on about how beautiful it is and confusing me. While Heather will be staying in the RV, Tamra has rented trailers for everyone else. Vicki goes around showing her grandson, Troy, all the fabulousness via her phone. Sarah, Ryan and their baby also make an appearance. I think Sarah might have another kid there, but at this point, there’s too many kids running around and I can’t keep track of them.

Vicki goes running on the sand dunes. In her interview, Kelly says she’d join Vicki, but Principal Dubrow would probably shake a finger at her. Ha-ha! Oddly enough, it’s Tamra who tells Vicki to get off of the dunes, because there are dune buggies flying around everywhere and they’ll run right over her. Heather scrutinizes Kelly in her interview, saying she seems to be on her best behavior, but it remains to be seen if she keeps her promise. In her interview, Vicki says she’d like to be a princess like Heather, but she’ll probably be working until the day she dies. I find it a little hard to believe that Vicki needs to work until she dies unless she wants to. Or did Brooks took all her savings too?

Meghan and Jim are at their house in a gated country club community. I wonder how many houses they have. I always find the concept of having multiple homes desirable, but it’s probably not as fun as it seems. Shannon and David are meeting up with them to play golf. Because they have so much time on their hands before they move. Shannon says she doesn’t want to pack and is an avoider. An avoider previously lived in my house too. Not only did we have to agree that it not be “broom clean” as stated in the contract and let her park her RV here for two weeks to get her moved out on time, but she was still here when we moved in. You read that right. She was sitting in a folding chair in front of a closet still full of her stuff. My husband’s aunt had a summer home nearby. I told my husband I was going there and having a beer, and when I got back, she’d better be gone. She was. I also have to admit, there were some cool things left here, like a set of Gilbert & Sullivan recordings on 78 rpm albums.

Eddie teaches Nicky how to ride an ATV. Tamra suggests he ask for one for Christmas, along with a personal desert. The ladies get ready for their dune buggy adventure and we see flash backs of Tamra’s terrible driving. Kelly complains about sand in her face and having to pee. You can dress these girls up, but you can’t take them out. Tamra tells her group to hold on and drives like the Tasmanian Devil. And flips the buggy. Nice work.

Heather tells everyoen not to move and calls for the medic. Vicki gets sick and Kelly keeps yelling for the EMT. Both Vicki and Tamra have collars put on them. The dune buggy ambulance arrives. The medics ask both Vicki and Tamra questions, trying to determine their injuries. They both get put on boards and a helicopter lands. Eddie leaves with Tamra for the hospital, but the helicopter is taking Vicki to Palm Springs. She’s feeling numbness somewhere. Heather claims to be in help mode, but I swear, as hurt as I was, I’d deck her one for saying things like “you’re okay” and “you’re strong” ten thousand times. She calls Briana to let her know what’s happening, but Briana is sick and can’t go there. Kelly’s helmet came off and she says she’s lucky she didn’t get hurt. Heather brags to Terry about how helpful she was, while Kelly talks to Tamra’s mother.

Kelly realizes later that she hurt her elbow and Heather gives her some ice. Heather calls Meghan and tells her about the accident. She says that Vicki is in Palm Springs and all alone, but that’s about forty-five minutes away from them, and God forbid Meghan might be inconvenienced. After she hangs up, Meghan gets annoyed because Vicki isn’t her friend and she doesn’t want to go and felt like Heather was pressuring her. Okay, here I’m on Heather’s team. She might not consider Vicki a friend, but she’s a co-worker who is all by herself. Not a good look.

Next time, Meghan tells Shannon about the accident, the girls call Vicki in the hospital, Tamra can’t do the competition, and Meghan and Heather argue, probably politely.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Jacqueline tells Chris about how she and Teresa got along on the girls trip and it seemed like old times. Chris asks if she’s happy that the weekend turned out well. No, she wanted. to fight. Kiddingnotkidding. In his interview, Chris says she’s happy now, but as soon as somebody says something stupid, it will go back again. That ought to take about five minutes. Maybe less.

Siggy visits Dolores. Sadly, Dolores had to have her dog, Boo, euthanized because he had kidney failure. Siggy brings flowers and a present. It’s tough for me to watch because I love my dogs so much. Dolores says she doesn’t cry easily, but this is very hard on her.

Melissa is stumped over an order that comes into the store. Her manager, Derek, thinks he and Jackie placed it. (He doesn’t know?) Melissa calls Jackie and tells her that she wants everything that comes into the store to go by her first. Jackie argues that not everyone is a size zero like her. In her interview, Melissa says it’s not as much fun as she thought it would be. Work never is. She tells Jackie that she’s stressed out and Jackie says welcome to owning a business, and tells her she doesn’t have to be there 24/7. She admits to not being good at delegating and Jackie suggests she take some time off.

Teresa – omg, one of their dogs has a magenta mohawk and stripe running down it’s back – tells Gia that she wishes she could come to the book party, but you have to be twenty-one. I guess it’s in a bar. Joe #1 comes in and Gia argues with him. In her interview, Teresa says Joe is drinking more and unraveling. She asks him how he’s doing and he says fine. She says she was all about making memories before she “went away,” and wishes Joe would calm down.

Siggy picks up her son from school and they discuss his upcoming ski trip with his father. She lets him drive, but kibbutzes the whole time and says once he gets his license, he’ll be lost to her. He tells her she has no limits and is loud, and she asks what he expects since she was born in a bomb shelter. I futilely try to figure that one out.

Teresa tells Joe #1 that he’s just like his father and he tells her to shut up. He’s seriously nasty and she tells him to please leave the kitchen. He says the only thing he’s going to miss is his children. Obviously, he’s not taking this going to prison thing too well. Teresa says that she feels like she has five kids instead of four. In her interview, Dolores says it’s in Teresa’s DNA that you never get divorced. Teresa reminds Dolores about the book party coming up. Dolores says she and Siggy are going together.

Jacqueline and Chris are having a poker night. Chris excited because Rosie is going to be there. She and Joe #1 hung out a lot when Teresa was “away,” but she got the brush off since Teresa’s return. I already figure this isn’t going to go well.

Melissa is dealing with her children when Derek calls her about a deadline. Joe #2 comes home and she asks him to help with dinner, but God forbid. He says he’s going to poker night and she says someone has to pick up their son from wrestling. In his interview, he whines that no one helps him with everything. He cuts out as fast as possible.

Rosie arrives at Jacqueline’s. She fells badly about some things she said about Joe #1 on New Year’s Eve. In her interview, she says something I can’t understand because so many words are bleeped. She’s not sure where she stands with Teresa and doesn’t understand what the wedge between them is about. I dunno. I guess discussing it with them is out of the question.

Joe #2 arrives and Rosie talks to him about the other Joe. He makes up something about everyone being busy. Chris calls Joe #1 who says he’s tired and in bed. He says they don’t need him anyway, since Rosie’s is a good poker player. She says she was hoping to see him. They hang up and Rosie wants to leave. In her interview, she says she wanted to see Joe #1 and doesn’t need this bullsh*t. Jacqueline says she doesn’t think he’s not coming because of her, but she wants to leave anyway. These people are incredibly clueless. Jacqueline explains to the guys that Rosie was counting on seeing Joe #1 and thinks there’s some kind of rift.

Rosie comes back. In her interview, she says Joe #1 claimed to have had too much to drink. She says she doesn’t know if Teresa had anything to do with it, but she feels badly for him. She tells the others about her stupid remarks on New Year’s Eve and that she feels guilty. Joe #2 calls Teresa and asks about Joe #1‘s absence, which she explains by saying it’s getting closer to his time in the pokey and he’s kind of freaked out. Chris says he’s glad that his family isn’t as screwed up as Joe #2’s is.

Siggy helps Dolores go through her paperwork. She’s been giving her bills to Frank, but Siggy thinks she needs to get some independence. Dolores says Frank has always handled the bills and she handled the kids. Teresa joins them, and checks out the renovations. Teresa says that “it’s” starting to get to Joe #1 and she needed to get out for some air. Siggy explains what’s going on with Dolores’s bills and Teresa says Dolores needs to start understanding what everything is about. Dolores says she and Frank have a symbiotic relationship. Teresa says she’s lucky to have Frank in her life, but that could always change. Dolores gets excited when she sees a check for cable over-payment. She’s seriously ignorant of her expenses.

Melissa curls her daughter Antonia’s hair for a father/daughter dance. She tells Antonia  that she’s busy with the boutique right now, but doesn’t want their relationship to suffer. She talks to Antonia about what she wants to be when she grows up. Joe #2 says he’s a handsome devil and Melissa gives him a wrist corsage for Antonia. He and Melissa take pictures.

Gia and Teresa have a girls night and go out for sushi. Teresa says she appreciated Gia’s help when she wasn’t around and wants to do something special. Gia takes pictures of the food and calls her father a butthead. She says prison will be good for him. Teresa asks if she means the drinking, and Gia says partly, but he needs to realize what he has. Astute kid. Teresa says he makes the wrong decisions when he drinks. She says she thinks Gia is going to miss him, and she says she will, but she’s not too worried. Teresa tells Gia how proud she is of her. She does seem mature for her age, but she had to grow up kind of fast.

Chris wonders if Joe #1 is coming to the book launch party. He and Jacqueline hitch a limo ride with Dolores, Siggy and her husband.

Teresa is trying tot get ready, and Melania and Audriana act up. Teresa tells Audriana to get to bed and in her interview says that they’re acting out because they know Joe #1 is leaving soon. In the limo, Joe #1 asks Teresa how she’s feeling and she says she’s happy about the book, but not so happy about other things.

Joe #1 gets a call from one of his friends, but Teresa tells him that the friend can’t bring his 12-year-old son. Another deal breaker is that the friend is a felon. Joe tells his felon father friend that they’ll work it out at the venue, but Teresa says it’s a no.

The bar is pretty crowded and Joe #1 can’t get a drink fast enough. Everyone is introducing everyone, and Joe slips out. Teresa’s lawyer has to explain to Joe why his friend can’t come in. Peter the Felon screams at Joe on the street. I think he’s had a few drinks too.

Joe #1 is paged inside the bar, but he’s too busy outside to know. Lawyer James explains what’s going on to Teresa, while Peter rages on, yelling about the mob and the government. Joe comes back in and Teresa is introduced. Her book is number two on the NY Times best seller list. Teresa thanks everyone for coming. She says she wanted to show her daughters what she went through when they get old enough. She says the book is also a love story about her and Joe. She tells everyone she loves them.

Teresa’s lawyer says she’s number two and the Pope is number four. Joe jokes about coming back skinny as hell. Everyone toasts to everything.

This season, Jacqueline’s daughter gets engaged, Melissa has a fashion show, Joe #2 argues with Melissa, Jacqueline calls Melissa a “fake, phony bitch” (!) and embarrasses herself, Joe #1 tells his daughters he’s not dying just going away, and Joe #1 goes away.

Sep5

September 4, 2016 – Fear the Dead Stands Alone

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

No Wives tonight because Bravo is always afraid to put on any new shows when it’s even near a holiday, or the Olympics are on, or it’s raining.

Fear the Walking Dead

I’m watching the tail end of last week’s episode again, and now that I take a better look, Alejandro sure got a chunk taken out of him with that zombie bite. I like Alejandro, but I don’t believe for a second that he has the right idea. I wonder if any of these characters will ever do a crossover to The Walking Dead.

We see a wedding celebration going on in the hotel. A little prequel to the prequel. Everyone is having a great time and the bride and groom have their first dance. The guests chit-chat and the waitstaff looks bored. The father of the bride is called up amid applause. The coordinator asks the mother if everything is okay. She says no, they have to leave, as the border might close due to the “sickness” that’s running rampant. The coordinator tells a waiter to get the vehicles.

As the mother and father of the bride dance – the last one, she says – the father drops to the floor. Zombie infection or heart attack? The bride gives him CPR. Zombie gets my vote, since he just bit off half her face as a waltz plays in the background. The music continues over the scene, making it really eerie. The coordinator locks all of the guests in the banquet room. Remind me not to recommend her.

Travis and Chris are walking down a deserted road. Travis thinks they should look for shelter. Me too, since he’s not doing too well, limping along. They see a station wagon and break into it. Chris wants to look for food at a nearby taco place, but Travis is hesitant. He tells Chris that if he sees anything to come right back and tosses him a crowbar.

Chris enters the restaurant. He sees water and a can of beans on the counter, but he also hears voices in the back. As he takes the supplies, several zombies wander in. He dispatches them, and three live guys come out from the back. He jets.

Chris runs to the car and tells Travis to get going. It’s a really cool old wagon, turquoise and white. Must be a decent car too, if it started after all this time. They drive away and Travis tries the radio. Nothing, which should be no surprise to anyone. He tells Chris to check the glove compartment (or glove box, depending on where you’re from). Not much in there, but he finds a woven bracelet and keeps it. I assume this is being noted for some future reason.

Travis stops the car and tells Chris it’s time to learn to drive since there’s no traffic. Really? We’re doing this now? In the dark no less? Chris starts and stalls a few times, and Travis gives him instructions. No Chris, don’t look at Travis, look at the road.

Meanwhile, Alicia looks out of a peephole in one of the hotel rooms and sees zombies strolling past. She counts them by carving marks on the door. One of them gets thisclose to the peephole and makes bitey faces.

Commercial break. The Blair Witch sequel is in theaters September 16. They’re claiming it’s the scariest sequel ever, but that remains to be seen. And it won’t be scary at all if they keep showing me pieces of it.

Chris continues to do the driving. They see someone walking along the road and he slows, but it’s a zombie. Travis tells Chris driving is pretty easy, except for parallel parking. He doesn’t know the half of it if he’s never tried to park in NYC. Travis says he doesn’t believe this is the end. He can’t and he won’t. He says neither should Chris and they’ll get back what they lost, but not everything. You know that song Running on Empty? Well, they are and the car slows to a stop.

They build a fire in the woods and eat out of the humongous can of beans that Chris swiped. Travis asks if he remembers camping. Chris says his mom hated it, but Travis says she endured it for their sakes. They talk about what it might be like in the mountains where they used to go, and Travis thinks a place like that might be safe. Chris asks what they’re doing, and Travis says surviving. He thinks they should go to a place with a vantage point. Chris suggests the border, but Travis says it’s dangerous. There’s water there and predators will be looking for prey. Chris asks what happens once they find somewhere, and Travis tells him they start over.

Uh-oh. Here comes a truck and you know they saw that fire. Chris and Travis hide. No surprise, it’s the guys from the taco place. The leader of the group says they’re not going to hurt anyone over refried beans, but want to camp there and wouldn’t want to pee in them on the dark. Like I believe he’d be concerned about that, but it was funny. Travis and Chris come out and leader says Chris demonstrated his badassness, killing those zombies. They introduce themselves as Brandon, Derek and Baby James (is he a James Taylor fan or something else?) Chris claims he saved their lives, but Brandon says not so much.

Alicia bides her time, watching what’s going on below from a balcony. She quietly leaves the room and sees zombies down a hallway. She runs in the other direction, calling for Ofelia. Yeah, where’d she go? She pries open some elevator doors, but no car and the zombies are getting close. She jumps in and grabs onto the cables. Talk about badass. The zombies jump too, but they’re not very coordinated because they’re dead, and they fall. A woman appears at another floor and Alicia climbs to her. Somehow, the woman manages to pull her into the hallway. She puts a fire ax to Alicia’s throat and asks, “Where is he?” Who? What? The hell? It’s the coordinator from the wedding.

Everone sits around the campfire. Brandon says they’re the first Americans they’ve met since all hell broke loose. He tells them they’ve been trying to get back to San Diego ever since. Travis tells them they came from the north, and that San Diego is gone and so is LA. He says everything is destroyed up to the Continental Divide. Brandon says they’ll come back; they always do.

Brandon tells Chris he showed some skill at taking out the “wasted.” He asks where Chris learned it and Travis says it came naturally. Chris says it gets easier with practice. Travis tells Brandon they appreciate the food, but they’ll be out of there in the morning. Brandon asks if they’d like to join them. Travis says they want to carve a place out for themselves and asks if the guys can spare gas. Brandon says they can’t, but they’ll give them a ride.

Alicia realizes the woman is the one who put the “do not disturb” signs on the doors. The woman wants to know where Hector is. Alicia says she doesn’t know who that is, but her mom and friends are there. The woman says she only saw Alicia. Alicia says her mother needs her and she has to go. The woman tries to stop her. Alicia asks who Hector is. The woman says her nephew, but he went for food and didn’t come back. She introduces herself as Elena. She’s the hotel manager and the remaining live guests want the keys from her. She says whoever has the keys controls the hotel. Alicia asks how many guests are left and she says about a dozen. Alicia says if she helps find her family, they can help in return. Otherwise they’ll die there.

In their tent, Travis and Chris talk. Travis doesn’t trust the new guys, but Chris thinks they can use the help. He says they’re willing to share their supplies and Travis asks how come they have so much? He doesn’t want to be in debt to anyone. Chris thinks Travis just wants to look for Madison, but he says he only wants to take care of Chris, and thinks the guys are dangerous. Chris says maybe that’s what it takes. Travis says they’ll go with them to the next town, but that’s the end of it. They’re going to find their own car and their own place.

Alicia and Elena leave the room and Elena leads the zombies away. Elena goes down another hallway and Alicia leads the zombies to one of the rooms. Good thing they’re slow moving. She stabs the closest one in the head and goes onto the balcony. Elena closes the room door because she’s good at that. She goes to the next room and tosses a sheet to Alicia who uses it to climb sideways and nearly falls in the process.

Alicia asks what took her so long and Elena says she needed to make sure they were all in there. Alicia asks her to come downstairs with her. She says her mother would die for her, and now she needs her. Elena agrees to go with her.

They reach the banquet room. Elena remembers the wedding. She tells Alicia about how the father of the bride had a heart attack, became a zombie and attacked his daughter. Alicia asks what she did, and she says she contained the situation. The hotel was at capacity and she had the other guests to consider. She couldn’t let the sickness spread, so she locked them in. She starts crying as well she should, since obviously this plan didn’t work very well. She says it was supposed to only be until help came, but it never did. She says they died and now they hate her. Alicia says she’s seen worse and she promises not to let them touch Elena. They leave the banquet room.

Travis and Chris hitch a ride with the new guys. Travis sits in the bed of the truck with Brandon, while Chris talks women with the guys up front. Brandon tells Travis this is awesome – no traffic, no cops, no bills – the end times has made them gods. They see a farm up ahead and stop there.

Finding nothing but dust, they decide to check the barn. Travis tells Chris that they should stay there and make it home. Chris is not into that idea and says they need other people. He leaves Travis to check out the barn with the other guys.

They hear noises from the barn and it turns out to be a flock of chickens. They get excited because it’s protein. So are beans, but I’ll let it pass. (No pun intended.) Travis sees a makeshift graveyard. Most of the Suaraz family died in 2010.

Alicia and Elena walk through the downstairs. The doors to the bar are locked, but Alicia sees a bunch of zombies inside. She calls for her mother. The group of living hotel guests, including the mother of the bride (how’d that happen?) come out with Hector. They want the keys, but Alicia says not to hand them over yet. She asks about her mother, but Elena says she’s not with them so she must be gone.

Alicia says she doesn’t believe her mother is gone. One of the guests tells Elena to give him the keys and she can have Hector. Elena is afraid they’re going to kill her anyway and the bride’s mother thinks that’s a swell idea. Alicia tells her to hand over the keys like she knows what she’s doing. Elena tosses them and grabs Hector. Alicia busts the door open, releasing the zombies.

Travis joins the others in the barn. Brandon wants Chris’s help, but Travis wants Chris to leave with him. He thinks someone might still be on the farm. He’s right, because a guy comes in with a gun and starts speaking in Spanish. Brandon and Bro’s don’t speak Spanish, but Travis says this is the guy’s house and they have no right to be intruding.

Alicia sees someone from behind in the bar who looks like Madison. She starts to turn and Alicia thinks it’s her mom the zombie (and we do too, but not really). It’s not, and she stabs the lookalike in the head.

Speaking Spanish, Travis tells Mr. Suaraz to drop the gun, that he’s outnumbered. When that doesn’t work, he says they’ll go, but instead, Mr. Suaraz shoots Baby James. Great. He was the only one I could tell apart from the other two.

Elena, Hector and Alicia make a run for it. Elena opens a trapdoor that leads to underground hallways beneath the hotel, and the go down. While they run through the corridors, zombies pop out at them and it’s pretty tense, especially since it’s dark and kind of narrow.

Travis pleads with the bro’s, but it’s Chris who shoots Mr. Suaraz. Oh yeah, didn’t he stab that other guy on the boat and acted sort of creepy in general?

Alicia is in the lead and comes up to a door. The zombies aren’t far behind and she can’t get it open. She starts pulling at it and banging on it. It opens from the other side and it’s Madison, who grabs Alicia in. Elena and Hector follow. Victor slides something in front of the door to block it.

Travis is on his knees, watching Mr. Suaraz die. He’s obviously devastated. Chris holds out his hand and we see the bracelet. Travis only looks at him with the saddest expression I’ve ever seen.

Next time, we find out what happened to Madison and Victor, Alejandro explains how he got bitten, and it looks like Nick snorts cocaine, or at least that’s what it looks like. Hmm…did he make a deal with that gang?

On a side note, a little trivia about the hotel. On Talking Dead, I learned that the hotel scenes were filmed in a real hotel, while it was in operation. That must have been quite a feat, with falling zombies and all. Production had to stop when guests needed to go through, and there was one particularly troublesome older gentleman. Maybe he was bucking to get in a scene. They should have slapped some zombie makeup on him and pushed him off a balcony. That’s show biz.

The other interesting thing is that, while doing research on the character of Elena, Karen Bethzabe discovered that the children of the workers who built the hotel later became the employees of the hotel. It wasn’t just a job to them, it was their life. This helped her to justify why Elena wouldn’t have wanted to leave and protected the place so fiercely.

Another bit of info about tonight’s episode is that the bride was played by Sissy Spacek‘s daughter, Schuyler Fisk, and the mother-of-the-bride played by Desperate Housewives‘ Brenda Strong (Mary Alice Young). I thought I’d recognized the latter from somewhere.

 

Aug29

August 28, 2016 – NJ Wives Go to the Spa & the Feared Dead Go to a Hotel

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Everyone is getting ready for the Crystal Springs spa trip. Dolores wonders why Melissa needs 47 bags for a weekend. So do I. Teresa asks Melissa and Dolores if they’ve talked to Jacqueline. Melissa says she has, but kind of blows off the question. In another car, Jacqueline says they should all be able to play in the same sandbox. In her interview, she says if Teresa doesn’t play nice, she’ll bury her. Not too defensive. Siggy thinks it all comes from insecurity and that Jacqueline is upset because Teresa isn’t as invested in the friendship as she is.

Teresa brings up Jacqueline’s remark about her federal offense. I don’t blame her for thinking that it was a low blow. I think that’s about all Jacqueline is capable of.

Crystal Springs looks amazing and we haven’t even gotten in the door. A butler greets them on the porch with champagne. Everyone claims their rooms. At least Ramona isn’t here. Jacqueline and Siggy arrive after the others and Jacqueline ignores Teresa. Because she’s such a grown up like she said she was. Siggy won’t let this happen and makes Jacqueline say hello to Teresa. Time stops.

In the meantime, Joe #2 is perplexed as to how to feed his kids. He struggles to make some chicken nuggets, wondering how they cook so fast. He’s appreciating Melissa to no end right now. Chris calls as Joe attempts to make some fish. Chris suggests they get together later. At least the popcorn is a success.

It’s dinner time at Crystal Springs. Everyone toasts to friendship and new beginnings. Good luck with that.

The girls discuss different trips they’ve been on. Jacqueline warms up a little when Teresa talks about the trip they went on to Italy. Dolores thinks maybe they just needed to get out of their environment. Jacqueline talks about the new company Chris is starting and how much it costs to raise a child with autism. Siggy says everyone has gone through hardships and talks about living with her parents after her divorce. She says when you’re down, you find out who your true friends are. Melissa talks about not even being able to afford diapers at one point. Teresa tell the group about how so many people thought she should leave Joe #1, but she loves him. Siggy says they’re all survivors at the end of the day, and they toast to that.

Next they go to the fire and water deck, whatever that is. They sit around a fire pit, drinking wine and making s’mores. They discuss when they had their first children, and Jacqueline brings up going ring shopping with her future son-in-law, Pete. Melissa is bummed about missing things with the kids while she’s dealing with her new business. She says when her father passed away, it was devastating for her mother because she’d never worked, and you never know what’s going to happen. Teresa talks about missing the kids when she was in prison camp. Jacqueline gets weepy about it and Teresa invites her and Chris to her book party.

The ladies don their pajamas. Teresa FaceTimes with Joe #1, and she and Jacqueline pretend there’s a big fight going on and Teresa tells him to come and pick her up. Then Jacqueline gives him a cleavage shot. What a couple of comediennes! In her interview, Dolores thinks if they can stay away from discussing the past issues, they’ll be okay. They move on to play wine pong. Tipsy silliness ensues.

Chris plays with his kids. Zzzzz…..

Melissa is the only one who wakes up in full makeup. A chef has arrived to cook a fabulous breakfast. The ladies talk about their kids again. Jacqueline leaves the table and is crying in the bathroom. OMG – they’ve run out of coffee. I’d cry too. Siggy talks to Jacqueline, who is upset because her proud mommy moments are very different from the other women’s. Siggy tells her that Nicholas doesn’t know any different, so it’s not like he’s comparing himself to the other kids. The girls gather around to give support. Melissa says you can’t always be a rock.

Teresa privately tells Dolores that maybe when Jacqueline snapped at her, she was just reacting to how much she has on her plate. Jacqueline is happy about Teresa being supportive. The ladies hang out by the pool on lounge chairs. Melissa talks to Dolores about her relationship with Teresa. In her interview, she says Joe #2 is happy with how things are, so she’s picking her battles. Jacqueline is aware that she and Teresa are being talked about and asks if they’d like to share it with the rest of the class. Dolores asks what they’re talking about, and Jacqueline says they’re talking about what she and Melissa are talking about.

Jacqueline and Teresa go for some spa treatments. Jacqueline talks about getting Nicholas involved with more children. Teresa says Milania loves him and to call her whenever she’s having a bad day. Jacqueline apologizes for saying stupid stuff. Outside, Siggy says she wishes that Jacqueline could see how much Teresa has changed, but Melissa says Jacqueline needs more proof.

The girls are making dinner. Melissa asks Teresa how things are going with Jacqueline. Teresa tells her about Jacqueline’s apology. They grill some steaks and everyone pitches in with the meal.

Chris and Joe #1 go out to eat at Reno’s restaurant. Reno sits with them and Joe talks about how Teresa’s lost weight and has a smaller behind now. He says once he leaves, it will probably be emotional, but there’s nothing he can do about anything, and his main concern is his family’s safety. He’s gotten a German Shepherd that he’s having trained.

The meal the girls have made looks freaking amazing. Everyone is thrilled about how well Jacqueline and Teresa are getting along. Jacqueline talks about how when she gets mad, she says ugly things. Siggy explains that sometimes the two of them just aren’t coming from the same place and it creates a communication problem. Everyone gets goofy during dessert. Teresa sits on some chocolate and much fun is made of the brown mess on the back of her pants.

Jacqueline calls out Melissa and Dolores for talking about her and Teresa at the pool. In her interview, Melissa says Jacqueline’s paranoia is coming into play, because she and Dolores weren’t discussing them. But they were. Teresa says Jacqueline needs to relax and Jacqueline agrees that she thinks too much.

Teresa teaches the girls some yoga. Teresa talks about yoga stimulating going to the bathroom and how you’re encouraged to pass gas. Then she has to explain what queve is. I’m not going to. Look it up. She ends the class with, “Namaste, bitches,” Dina’s old tagline.

Next time, it looks like Dolores might have had to put Boo to sleep 😟, Rosie misses everyone, and Teresa has a book party.

Fear the Walking Dead

Nick wakes up in the La Colonia infirmary. He walks out into the street and wanders around the town. There isn’t another soul to be seen. He sees a little girl crying. He goes to her and looks out to the townspeople saying good-by to one of the men who is about to walk out into a group of zombies. It’s the girl’s father.

The people chant some nonsense in Spanish as the guy walks through a bus to the zombies outside. (I find out later that they’re saying, “From death we come, and to death we deliver ourselves.”) Um…that chanting isn’t going to help anything. Nick moves the girl so she can’t see. No big shock, the man is attacked and eaten. Good job, folks. What did you think was gong to happen? Nick is appalled.

Madison and the others are out driving around looking for Nick and Travis. It’s been two days since they left. Alicia wants to go back. Victor says they’re riding on fumes and should go back to the boat. Madison goes back to the truck.

Nick wanders through the now active marketplace. A lady calls him over. Alejandro tends to one of the men who believes he’s not long for this world.

Uh-oh. The boat’s gone. Victor thinks the military was waiting for them to land and took it. Ofelia suggests they walk into the sea, but Alicia thinks finding shelter in a nearby hotel is a better idea. Alicia tells Madison that it’s the two of them now, whether she likes it or not. A message is left on the beach: Abigail Lost Head North.

The group checks out the hotel. They don’t see anything moving. Even though there might be something unsavory awaiting them inside, they figure better inside than outside. They approach, Victor breaks the front door lock, and they go inside. Alicia wonders where the person who locked up is now. Victor hits the desk bell and Madison asks if he’s out of his mind. He tells her the service stinks there.

Luci tells Nick they have work to do. He follows her. She brings Nick through the bus, fights off some zombies and pins one to a wall. She tells Nick to stay quiet. They put zombie blood on themselves. Nick asks why him and she says no one will miss him.

The group wanders through the hotel. The banquet room has been set up for a wedding. Ofelia says she almost got married once and he was a good man. Victor says not that good, since it was almost. She says he was leaving for New Mexico and she needed to stay with her parents. Victor tells her not to dwell on the past.

Nick asks what was up with the thing that morning. Luci explains that they keep a wall of zombies outside the fence for protection and when one of them gets infected, they volunteer to be one of the wall to protect their people. He asks what if the guy just became lunch for no reason. She tells him he has no faith. She compares it to the ocean cleansing itself and says the dead are returning, and when they go, the world will be new. She tells him that Alejandro was bitten and she saw it happen, but he didn’t turn.

Victor and company continue through the hotel. Alicia wants to split up, but Madison doesn’t like it. Too bad, she goes off with Ofelia anyway. Victor tells Madison she needs and drink and so does he.

Luci takes Nick to see a gang from East Tijuana who deal with supplies. She tells him to keep his mouth shut, that they’ll hang you for looking at them wrong. She gives the guy at the door pharmaceuticals. They give her a cart and tell her to fill it. She says it used to be two, but the guy says it isn’t anymore. Just like the EpiPen!

Victor makes martinis and calls Madison a Southern belle. She tells him his martini is bullsh*t and to bring her the tequila. Ofelia and Alicia go through the rooms. They hear zombie noises from some of them. Alicia notices that someone put “do not disturb” signs on the rooms with the zombies in them. They go inside a safe room and grab some supplies. They find a zombie in a shower who tried to commit suicide, but just got hung up on the shower-head. Alicia puts a do not disturb sign on the door as they leave.

Luci tells Nick to get whatever they can use for the infirmary. He wants to add a package of snack cakes, but that’s a no. No cakes for you. They get quite a few jugs of water as well.

Ofelia tells Alicia there’s still hot water. Alicia empties the mini-bar and asks Ofelia why the guy in the shower gave up. Ofelia says maybe he was tired of surviving. Alicia says you just push on. Ofelia says they’re not going to make it. She talks about her father being one step beyond hope. Alicia says it’s all they have and if they lose that, they’re dead. She tells Ofelia she’s family now.

Luci and Nick leave with the cart. One of the gang members knocks Nick to the ground. Nick has the cookies in his pocket. The guy hits Nick in the head with what looks like a billy club. Why on earth did Nick think he was slick enough to get away with that? On the other hand, technically, the crackers would have fit in the cart, so…

Commercial break. Please, spare me the car ads with Matthew McConaughey.

Gang dude says rats who steal get their paws cut off and prepares to chop off Nick’s hand. Luci translates as Nick threatens them with no more Oxy. He saw gang dude tending to his sick sister, and tells him if she’s without it for a week, he’ll hope she turns, because he’ll want to kill her. He says the gang needs Oxy and La Colonia has it. And if they want it, not only will he let Nick go, but the gang will give them another cart of water. Dude throws him down, but agrees. Nice negotiating, Nick! They could use you on The Walking Dead right about now.

When they leave the area, Luci is concerned about being followed. She says she’s never been followed, but she also never had a stupid gringo threaten them. Nick says sorry.

Madison and Victor talk over drinks. Victor talks about what might have happened had they met at another time. He says he’s a seducer of people who would have it on her and it would have been fun. He says now there’s no world to talk about; there’s not even a bar. Madison says Alicia is right. they’re never going to see Nick again. Victor says Nick is bullet proof and he’s alive. Madison says Nick was born lost, like his daddy. If you leave him alone, he heads toward death.

Victor asks how Nick’s father died. Madison says he was late coming home and went into oncoming traffic. Victor asks if he fell asleep at the wheel and she says that’s what she told the kids. She says she keeps trying to save the kids and they keep dying over and over. Travis stopped it for a while, but now he’s gone. Victor says we can only live with things, we can’t choose. Madison says she didn’t have to be a mother, but she chose to be. She’s getting a little drunk and throws her glass. Then she gets another glass and pours them another shot. They drink to false hope and she throws that glass too.

Victor goes over to the piano, but it’s all out of tune, which is totally appropriate. As he plays, we see zombies locked inside a shop trying to get out. All this noise is attracting their attention.

Alicia takes a shower. She calls to Ofelia that it’s her turn, but then can’t find her. She sees something fall from the roof. She looks over the side of the balcony and sees a couple of zombies take nose-dives off the balconies on the other side of the hotel. Zombies start falling from everywhere and Alicia runs calling for Ofelia. She opens a door to a stairwell and it’s crawling with zombies. I want to see more of the zombies taking headers. That was kind of cool. I do have to lodge a complaint here though. I realize I’m working with a huge suspension of disbelief, even accepting that there has been a zombie apocalypse at all. Cool as it was, these zombies were falling several stories and just getting up. Even if  they’re the undead, they would still have broken bones and not be able to walk away. Okay. I feel better now.

Nick and Luci make it back to La Colonia. Nick sees the little girl whose father went to the wall and gives her the cakes. Luci sees and realizes Nick isn’t the selfish dumbass she thought he was. Nick goes to see Alejandro. He says he heard Nick almost started a war. Nick says he thought the little girl needed something, some comfort, and there should be some things that are not about death. Alejandro says when they run out of cake and drugs, where will they turn? Nick says what good is faith when the water runs out? Alejandro says when the world is washed of death, the faithful will remain. He says they are the chosen who will outlast death. Nick sees the healed bite mark, and Alejandro tells him that he’s welcome to stay, but if he puts the people in danger again they’ll feed him to the wall.

Victor and Madison are getting really sloshed. Victor is banging on the out-of-tune piano and Madison is flinging glasses around. Victor looks out the floor to ceiling window and sees the zombies falling outside the widow and says they have to go now. Too late. Zombies are getting in everywhere.

Alejandro makes a speech to the people about the Lord and how life is a sigh between two deaths. He tells them the migration of the dead has begun. He says that the world is for them, the faithful, and death will not take them. The people start their chant and Nick joins them. Alejandro says as long as he lives, they’ll never leave.

This is interspersed with Victor and Madison fighting the zombies without conventional weapons, using liquor bottles and chairs. Holy! They’re surrounded.

Next time, Alicia shows what she’s made of, and Travis and Chris get involved with a new group of people who look pretty militant.

May30

May 30, 2016 – Game of Thrones, the Dead Don’t Rest

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Our regularly scheduled programming has been interrupted by Memorial Day weekend.

Game of Thrones

Meera drags Bran through the forest, while Bran has visions of his past visions. Finally, Bran comes to and says, “They found us.” Yes, they did. But someone is on their side (maybe) and a guy on a horse bumps off the White Walkers. He tells them the dead don’t rest and they need to come with him.

Gilly, Sam and Little Sam are taking a carriage to Sam’s hometown. He says he didn’t think he’d ever come back again and coaches her on what to tell his parents. She’s to say the baby is his, so they’ll be taken in. Sam also tells her that his father hates Wildings.

Sam’s mother and sister greet them, and he introduces Gilly and Little Sam. Sam asks about his father and brother. Lady Tarly says they’re on a hunt.

Tommen asks the High Sparrow if there isn’t another way for Margaery other than the walk of shame. He says she’ll be fine and that he’s pleased with how open she was to him. He lets Tommen in to see her. They hug and Tommen asks if she’s been mistreated. She says no and he says he’s missed her. She says they’ll be together soon and things will be better than before. She asks if he’s talked to the High Sparrow and says he’s not what they thought he was. At first we think she means the High Sparrow is an idiot, but it’s the opposite – she says he’s helped her tremendously. Tommen is shocked and says she’s the nicest person he knows. She says she was good at acting good. He asks about her brother. Margaery says she loves Loras, but he needs to atone as they all do.

Gilly cleans up well and Sam tells her she’s beautiful. They sit down to dinner and Gilly watches what everyone else does in order to know which piece of cutlery to use. Sam says the venison is good and they talk hunting. Gilly says her father taught her to hunt and Sam’s sister says that their father could learn a thing or two from him. Lord Tarly is not too pleased.

Lord Tarly complains that even after being in the Night’s Watch, Sam is still soft and fat. Lady Tarly says being maester is no small thing. Gilly tells them that Sam is tough and he even killed a White Walker. Lord Tarly puts two and two together and realizes that Gilly is a Wilding. He points out a sword over the mantle and says it’s been in the family for generations. It’s supposed to go to his eldest son when he dies, but he says Sam will never get it. He asks if this is Sam’s way of getting back at him, bringing that into his house. Lady Tarly gets up from the table, tells Lord Tarly off, and leaves the room with Gilly. Sam’s father tells Sam he’ll take them in, but Sam will never darken his door again. That went downhill fast.

Sam apologizes to Gilly, but she says she’s not mad at him. She kisses him and tells him he’s not what his father says he is. He has to leave in the morning and tells her good-by. She’s about to tuck Little Sam in, when Sam bursts back into the room and says they’re leaving now and they belong together. He takes the family sword.

Arya is back at the theatre watching the play about the Lannisters. When the actors are about to exit, Arya goes backstage and slips the poison into Lady Crane’s booze. When everyone gets back to the dressing room, Lady Crane asks Arya what she’s doing there and how many times she’s seen the play. She assumes Arya is interested in being an actress and tells her that when she was younger, she snuck into the theatre and eventually joined the troupe. Arya says she’s very good, but Lady Crane says her final speech stinks and asks Arya how she would change it. Arya tells her that after Joffrey’s death, Cersei would have been more angry and not so much crying. She says her father is waiting for her and she has to go.

The actors make actor chit-chat. Lady Crane is about to sip her drink and Arya scares the crap out of me when she flies back in and knocks the glass out of Lady Crane’s hand. She tells Lady Crane to be careful of one of the other actresses and that the actress wants her dead. Afterward, Arya takes Needle from its hiding place.

The Waif tells Jaqen, who is in the process of removing a face, that Arya is done. He says it’s a shame since she had a lot of talents. The Waif says Jaqen promised her that she could deal with Arya. He says not to let her suffer. Geez, thug life in Braavos.

Jaime gathers Mace and the troops. They’re going to take back their city from the High Sparrow. The High Sparrow is giving a public speech about Margaery’s disgrace, when Jaime and company come marching in. Jaime says sorry to interrupt, but they’re here for Margaery and Loras. The Sparrow says he doesn’t have the authority to give them up and Jaime doesn’t have the authority to take them.

Jaime rides his horse up the steps, which is pretty cool. He says he’s there under King Tommen’s authority and he’ll kill every one of them before Margaery takes a walk of shame. The Sparrow says that’s not necessary and that Margaery has already atoned for her sins by bringing another into the fold. Tommen walks out. The Sparrow announces an alliance between the crown and the faith. Tommen says together they will restore the Seven Kingdoms to glory. I’m not sure if I buy this or not, but then Olenna says the Sparrow has beaten them, so I guess she buys it.

Tommen tells Jaime he’s not fit to be in charge of the King’s Guard. Jaime asks if he’s going to be imprisoned. Tommen says he’ll still serve his king, but not in this city.

Walder Frey chastises his men for Riverrun being taken over by the Blackfish. He says they’re being laughed at all the way to King’s Landing. He says he’s not leaving this world until they choke on that laughter. One of the men says the Blackfish will never yield, but Walder says to show him the knife that Robb’s wife was killed with. He brings out Lord Edmure and tells him that he’s going home.

Cersei tells Jaime being in charge of an army somewhere else is better than being in a dungeon. Jaime threatens to kill the High Sparrow, but Cersei says if he does, than everything they’ve worked for goes down the toilet. She tells him he needs to take Riverrun back. Talk of war gets them hot and they start making out.

Meera asks why the guy on the horse helped them. He says the Three-Eyed Raven sent for him. She says he’s dead and the guy says he lives again. He says the last time he saw Bran, he was a boy. Bran asks who he is, and the guy removes his hood. It’s Bran’s Uncle Benjen! (I think we all saw this coming.) Benjen says he was stabbed by a sword of ice, but the Forest Children brought him back with a dragonglass sword. He is going to help Bran be the next Three-Eyed-Raven.

Dany asks Daario how many ships she’s going to need. He says a lot and asks what they’re going to do when they get to Westeros. She says she’s taking back what’s hers. She tells him to wait and rides off on her horse. Her army gets bored quickly and Daario says he’s going after her.

No need. She’s back. Riding on Drogon. He lands and makes dragon noises. Dany gives a pep talk to her troops, telling them how she chose them and how they’re going to get the Seven Kingdoms back that Khal Drago promised her. Everyone gets very jazzed..

Drogon spreads his dragon wings and gets all fierce.

Next time, Olenna meets with Cersei, Tormund pledges his allegiance to Jon, and Davos says the dead are coming.