What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I miss the first half-minute.

As they go into Kelly’s, Sasha tells Michael that she’s hoping for more sun this weekend. Michael says he has to give her a raincheck. Something important came up.

Outside Kelly’s, Josslyn tells Dev, if he wants to drive one of Sonny’s cars, ask him.  He says there’s no reason for Milo and Max to give her rides, when he has a valid driver’s license. She says, it’s a license Sonny bought. Dev didn’t take classes or pass a test. Dev says, who needs a test? He can steal a car and drive away. That practically makes him an expert.

Hayden goes to the hospital, hoping to run into Elizabeth. Finn says she clocked out. He’s glad Hayden cleared everything up at the police station. She says she didn’t push Obrecht overboard, so they let her go. She tells him, a brother is a big branch of the family tree to keep secret, and he says that’s something coming from her. She’s kept her fair share from him.

Valentin and Curtis meet at The Floating Rib. Curtis says he had to look at Jax’s files again. He gives Valentin a folder, and says these are his copies, but everything is already public knowledge. Valentin says he needs to know why Jax has a file on Cassandra. Curtis says Valentin needs to tell him. Jax has a file on both Valentin and Cassandra, so what do they have in common? He knows there’s bad blood between them, but can Valentin think of any reason they would be on Jax’s radar? Valentin says he couldn’t tell him, and Curtis says he’s not big on explanations. Valentin says he’s paying Curtis to dig around, and extending the retainer. Call if he finds anything important. Valentin flips through the papers, and says, this is interesting.

Hayden tells Finn that they both have secrets, and Finn wonders where it got them. His phone dings, and he says he needs to text Anna back. Hayden says he doesn’t have to explain. He says explaining themselves was never their thing. Hayden sees Lucy, who didn’t know she was back in town. She asks if Hayden is just breezing through, or is she looking for someone else to manipulate? Hayden says she wants to put serious roots down this time. Maybe Lucy can help. She was wondering if that cool house she once had in escrow is still on market? Lucy asks if she means the one she and Finn were planning to purchase. Hayden says, that’s the one.

Michael tells Sasha, the trip isn’t canceled, just postponed. He meant to tell her earlier, but they got distracted. She says, sorry, not sorry. They can go another time. She’s sure her mom will be happy she can work. He says, hopefully not all of the days. He has an important function to go to, and he’d like her to be his plus one. She says, of course (🍷). It gives her an excuse to raid the Crimson closet. He suggests wearing something more casual. It’s his godson’s first birthday, which means cake and a big mess. Sasha thinks she’ll survive, and he asks if it’s not too domestic. She says she wouldn’t miss it for the world, and they kiss.

Josslyn says she doesn’t care how many cars Dev has stolen in – he says, Bridgeport. She says, wherever he’s from, it’s illegal and draws unwanted attention. At least don’t mess things up by breaking the law. Sonny’s already broken a lot of them for him to stay in the country. Don’t mess it up. Cameron and Trina come by, and Cameron asks, mess what up?

Maxie pounds on Lulu’s door, asking if Lulu is still mad at her. She’ll do anything to make it better. I’d tell her to start by stopping that banging. Lulu opens the door to Maxie and Peter, saying, she’s not mad. She just doesn’t want to be around people right now. Maxie asks, why not?  Lulu hands her the papers, and Maxie asks what they are. Lulu says, divorce papers. They walk in, and Lulu says, that’s why she didn’t want them to come in. She can’t deal with the look on their faces. It’s humiliating. She needs to focus. She’s been staring at the papers for hours, and can’t figure out how to tell Rocco. Charlotte is with Valentin and Nina, and she’ll be upset, but Rocco is going to be crushed. Maxie says, no offense, but she’s in no shape at the moment. Rocco takes his cues from her. She points to Lulu’s outfit, and asks what’s with the get-up she’s got going on? Lulu asks if she’s supposed to put on a little black dress and tell Rocco that his father is never coming home. Maxie says Lulu is supposed to put on a little black dress, and go drinking with her.

Hayden says Lucy made her point. Lucy says if Hayden is thinking about making Port Charles he home again, she has a junior three-bedroom that would behoove a single woman such as herself. Hayden says she can find another realtor that will be happy to take her commission without insulting her. Lucy does some hand gestures (not that one), and says, it’s the negativity washing away. She was never one to say no to a sale. She gives Hayden her card, and Hayden reminds her, the customer is always right. Finn asks if Hayden is thinking of buying a place, and Hayden says she’s keeping her options open.

Lulu asks Maxie if she supposed to toss back a few tequila shots, but Maxie says, not in a celebratory way. Lulu says, hard pass. She’s not in the mood. Maxie says it will be good for her to get out of the house. And those clothes she’s wearing… Lulu says she’s wearing leggings and a hoodie, not a burlap sack. Maxie says, talking will help, but Lulu says, no, it won’t. She’ll cry and spiral. Maxie says, they can come up with a plan for her to tell the kids. Maxie tells Peter to back her up, but he says he’s not touching this. Lulu says, she can’t. It’s too late to get a sitter. Maxie looks at Peter, and says he can do it. He doesn’t mind, right? He says, no, but full disclosure, he has no experience with kids. Maxie says he’s great with James, but he says, James is a baby. He has no experience with small, walking, talking real humans. Lulu says, that’s a ringing endorsement, but Maxie says, it will be fine. Rocco is going to bed soon anyway. They’re going out.

Carly says, Lulu must be in shock, and asks Sonny how he’s holding up. He says he doesn’t know what to say. He wants Dante to get help, but he’s worried about Rocco. Carly says Lulu needs their support, and Sonny says she’s going to get it. Carly says it’s horrible to think, but it’s possible Dante’s not getting the help he needs. Sonny says it’s not like when he was looking for Dante in Ankara. If not for Dev, they wouldn’t have escaped. Carly knows he’s grateful. Sonny knows she’s worried Dev won’t fit in, but she says she may have been premature. He seems to be getting along okay.

Josslyn tells Cameron that Dev had been begging Sonny to drive his speedboat for weeks. Dev says it hasn’t been weeks, and he doesn’t beg. She says he’d been asking repeatedly. Sonny gave in, but it ran out of gas and had to be towed back. Rule number one; check the gas tank. Dev says, a valuable lesson, to be sure. He’ll check next time. Josslyn says he’s assuming there will be a next time. They start to bicker again, and Cameron says he’s going in to get coffee. Josslyn decides to go with him, and Trina tells Dev to sit. She wants to get to know him better before they get back. He asks what she wants to know, and she says, everything.

Josslyn sees Michael inside Kelly’s, and asks if he’s all right. He says the softball game got a little intense, but he’s all right. Has she recovered from Oscar’s will reading? She says she’s sorry she bolted, but he says he’s just glad she wasn’t alone, and thanks Cameron for taking care of her. He hopes he sees more of her, and she says he will, hugging him. Michael goes back to Sasha, and Cameron says following Josslyn to the park was nothing, but she says she doesn’t know what she would have done if he hadn’t shown up. He’s the only one who knows what it’s like to miss Oscar. Cameron says he misses Oscar too. She says she doesn’t mean to get emo. She just wants to say how much she appreciates it. He went above and beyond to help Oscar, and now he’s doing the same for her, helping her move on – whatever that means. She hugs him, and says he’s a good friend. You can tell Cameron is thinking, ugh. Friend zone.

Cameron and Josslyn go back outside, and Cameron says, sorry to interrupt. Trina says, don’t even. Dev was just telling her about Bridgeport. He doesn’t miss it. Dev says he likes Sonny’s place better. A guy comes by, and tells Cameron that his break is over. They’ve got to move. Cameron tells them he has to go. Community service calls.

Maxie and Lulu go to The Floating Rib. Maxie says, it’s the perfect atmosphere for a chill night out. Lulu says Maxie doesn’t have to keep telling her. Maxie suggests a pitcher of margaritas, and tells Lulu to take a seat. Maxie goes to the bar, and Lulu starts to leave, but bangs into Dustin, spilling his drink. He says, Leslie Lu, we meet again.

Peter asks if Rocco’s screen time is limited, and Rocco says to stop him in five minutes. Peter says, then what? and Rocco says, read him a story. He’s already brushed his teeth, so after that, he goes to bed. Peter appreciates his honesty, and Rocco says he doesn’t want his mom to worry, so they should do bedtime the way she wants it. Peter says when he’s done, pick out a book. Rocco says he’s done, and he knows what book he wants.

At The Floating Rib, Hayden sees Curtis, and hugs him before sitting down. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t catch up sooner. It got hectic at the office. He says trouble has a way of finding her, but she says, not anymore. In fact, she’s embarking on an apology tour. He’s up next. He asks, why him? They’re good. She says she wants to apologize for being a bad friend.  She’s really sorry she missed his wedding, but things were still raw with Finn, and didn’t want to be a distraction. Curtis says Finn was ready to forgive her taking off. That’s why he hired Curtis to track him down. Other than the note, she’s been a ghost since she left. What’s she been up to all this time?

Valentin asks Finn if he’s got a moment. Finn says he’s fresh out. Valentin says he can’t get ahold of Anna, and needs to talk about a mutual concern. Finn says she’s dealing with a family situation. Valentin wonders if she’s not taking Finn’s calls either. He asks Finn to let Anna know they need to talk about Cassandra Pierce.

Peter reads about a boy who has healing water. If there’s a sick person, and he sees death at their head, give them the water. But if death is at their feet, it’s in vain, and the sick man must die. Peter asks if Rocco is sure he wants this story, but Rocco says he’s not a baby; keep reading. Peter says, from that time forth, the boy could tell if the patient could be saved or not.

Dustin asks if Lulu is on another fake date. She says, not exactly. Maxie comes back. Lulu doesn’t say anything, so she introduces herself. Lulu introduces Dustin, explaining she spilled his drink. Dustin says he’d shake hands, but Maxie’s are full. Maxie says she can get a third glass if he wants to join them.

Peter says, the boy gave the man the water anyway, and it worked. They lived happily ever after. Rocco says, that’s not how it ends. It doesn’t work. and the man dies. Peter wonders why Rocco likes this story, but Rocco says he never said that. He said he wasn’t afraid.

Sasha tells Michael that they’ll have to put his dad’s island on their places-to-go list. He says he’d like to add another destination – her hometown. They should take a road trip. She hates to spoil it, but there’s not much to see. She tells him the woman behind his back is staring at them, and he looks. He says, that’s Lucy, she’s a known Port Charles eccentric. Sasha says, she hosts the Nurses Ball every year. Michael asks if Lucy wants to say hello to his girlfriend. Lucy introduces herself, and apologizes for staring. She says, in another life, Sasha could have been the face of Deception.

Finn tells Valentin that he’s familiar with Cassandra. Valentin would rather discuss it with Anna, and Finn says he can’t discuss it if she won’t take his calls. Valentin says Finn and Anna worked hard to bring Cassandra down, but now she’s free to be a menace to society. Finn asks if she’s a menace to society, or Nina.

Hayden tells Curtis that she moved around for a while, then connected with Jax, and decided to move back to Port Charles. She was worried how Finn might react, and Curtis asks if he’s next on her apology tour. She says she owes him one, but she’s worried he won’t be receptive. Curtis asks, why not? He’s happily engaged to Anna. She says, he’s moved on. So she did the far, far batter thing by leaving. He says, it couldn’t have been easy. It must have been hell losing a child.

Sonny asks if things are better with Josslyn, and Carly says, she’s coming around. She’s a perceptive girl, and can see that under the cocky charm, Dev is just a kid who’s worked hard to get here and have a better life. She doesn’t want to mess that up. Sonny knows how reckless Dev is, but he’s a fast learner. In a couple of months, no one will know ever lived anywhere else. Carly says it just hit her why Sonny is trying so hard to help Dev, and it’s not just because Dev helped him and Dante in Turkey.

Dev tells Josslyn that Sonny has complete faith in him. Josslyn says, okay. Trina sees Josslyn with the compass, and Josslyn says Oscar left it to her in his will. Trina says, it’s good and sad at the same time. Josslyn apologizes, saying she doesn’t mean be gloomy. She likes to keep the compass close. It’s one of the few physical things Oscar left her.

Community service dude takes Cameron to the footbridge. Cameron asks what they’re doing there. The guy says they have to deal with some complaints about the bridge. He’ll deal with the graffiti, and Cameron can take care of the locks on the railing. He gives Cameron a huge cutter, and we see the J+O lock.

Josslyn tells Trina that she’s trying to get to a place where she can think about Oscar and not get upset. She owes it to him to focus on the good times. Trina says they’re there for her; right? Dev says, right. Josslyn asks if Dev would mind getting home on his own. He says, sure, and asks if everything is okay. Josslyn says there’s just a place she wants to stop.

Sasha asks why Lucy said that. Lucy tells her Deception was the first cosmetic company she launched in the 90s. Has Sasha heard of it? Sasha says, no, sorry; and Lucy says, okay, you millennial. She loved it, and if she was still in business, she’d put Sasha’s lovely face under contract. She’s a model, right? Sasha says she’s a junior editor at Crimson, but don’t be impressed. Her mom is the editor and chief. Lucy says tell her mom to put her on the cover. She gives Sasha her card, and says if Sasha decides to pursue a modeling career, she has contacts she can put Sasha in touch with – for a small commission of course (🍷). It was nice to meet her. Ta! Michael says, she’s a character, and Sasha says, that’s one way to describe her. Michael asks if Sasha is going to call.

Maxie says, Dustin is a teacher; he must be smart. He says there’s one equation he’s still working out. His tuition debt plus a teacher’s salary equals extra jobs. Maxie suggests another round on her. He says he doesn’t want to intrude on girls night, but Lulu says he’s not. She’s just tired. He says he can help her wake up. Whitney Houston is his go-to karaoke muse. Lulu blurts out that her husband served her with divorce papers. Maxie says she’s going to close out her tab. She hopes Dustin is her ride share driver one day. Dustin asks if Lulu is okay. She says she’s sorry to be a downer, but he says, don’t apologize. It’s not his place, but he thinks her husband was a fool to let her go. Lulu says, he is. Dustin says he should go. He’ll see her around. He leaves, and Lulu starts to cry.

Peter looks for Rocco, and finds him under the kitchen island. Peter says it’s a comfy hiding spot. Does Rocco mind if Peter joins him? Peter sits, and asks, what’s going on? Rocco says he hates that story, and Peter asks why he wanted to hear it. Rocco says to prove he’s brave. Peter says, everyone gets scared. It’s okay to feel what he feels. He doesn’t have to always prove himself. The man in the book didn’t know how to be a dad. Rocco asks if that’s why his dad left; because he didn’t know how to be a dad. Peter bets he misses his dad a lot. Rocco says he’s mad at him for leaving them so long. Peter says he knows how Rocco feels, but Rocco says he doesn’t. Peter says his mom wasn’t around at all at Rocco’s age, or ever really, but she thought she was doing right by him, like Rocco’s dad. Rocco asks if Peter is mad at his mom, and Peter says he was for a long time. Rocco asks if he’s still mad, and Peter says he realized that parents are people too. They’re doing their best, but can make mistakes. That doesn’t mean it has anything to do with hm.

Trina asks if Dev feels like walking. He says he’s worried about Josslyn. She seemed upset. Trina says she didn’t buy Josslyn’s I’m fine act. Dev asks where she went, and Trina guesses the footbridge. It was her and Oscar’s special place.

Josslyn gets to the footbridge. The railing is bare, and she says, oh my God. It’s gone.

On Lulu’s porch, Maxie says she shouldn’t have dragged Lulu out. Another attempt at fixing things goes down in flames. Lulu says, no one was hurt this time, and Maxie says, progress. Lulu says she’s just not ready. She’ll tell Maxie when she is. They hug, and go inside, finding Peter and Rocco asleep on the couch together.

Hayden tells Curtis that she doesn’t want to talk about the baby or the last two years. He says he’s curious, but respects her boundaries. She says she doesn’t want to live in the past. She wants a fresh start. He clinks his beer bottle to her glass, and says, a fresh start.

Finn tells Valentin he doesn’t know the details, but knows Nina had something to do with putting Cassandra in a coma. Valentin tells him not to threaten Nina, but Finn says he has no intention of causing trouble for Nina. It was clearly self-defense, and he appreciates it. Valentin says he’d appreciate Finn passing along his message to Anna. He leaves, and Finn calls Anna. He says he had a semi-interesting conversation with Valentin. Apparently, something is going on with Cassandra.

Sasha tells Michael, Lucy isn’t even in business anymore, but he says she can refer Sasha to someone who is. I guess Nina can’t? He says she could totally be a model. She can be anything she wants; a lawyer, a veterinarian, a truck driver. She tells him that he’s sweet, and she actually gave the modeling world a spin after high school, but she didn’t end up on the pages of Crimson. He says, not yet. It’s the first thing she’s shared about her past. She says, there’s not much to tell. She’d rather focus on what’s ahead for them.

Carly says Sonny, helping Dev is proactive; something he can do and control the outcome. They can support Josslyn, but she has to work through her own grief. Dante is going to have to find his own way to his healing. The hard part of being a parent is that you can support, but you can’t control it. Dev is different. There are concrete steps Sonny can take; ways to get to the outcome he wants. Sonny says he never thought of it that way. She’s perceptive. She tells him, don’t sound so surprised. He says she constantly surprises him. Almost always in a good way.

Josslyn sits on the footbridge, and cries. Dev joins her, and asks, what’s wrong? She says, it’s gone, and he says, what? She says she and Oscar put their initials on a padlock, and locked it to the bridge. Dev says, there’s a bridge in Istanbul where they do that too. Josslyn says, it’s a symbol of their love lasting forever. Now it’s gone. He’s gone. Dev puts his arm out to her, and she slides over. He holds her.

Tomorrow, Jax wants to take Nina and Valentin out to dinner, Cameron tells Josslyn that he cut the locks, and Jason asks Carly if there’s something he’s not telling her about the baby.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion – Part Two

At first, I wrote Part Three. Probably because I want it over.

We backtrack a little, with Dorit saying she realized it wasn’t that Teddi didn’t want to malign her, but that she didn’t want to be the only one who did. It hurt. Teddi says she and Dorit didn’t really have a relationship prior to this year. We flash back to Teddi accusing Dorit of not being above board. Andy says Teddi never went to LVP directly, and asked about it. Teddi says when she was told by a person who works with and idolizes LVP, that LVP wants to use her name, she just went along. As usual, the accountability coach avoids the real question. She never once went to LVP and asked what’s up with this Dorit thing, and why do you want me involved? Andy says, viewers feel Dorit was the original cause of the mess by not returning the dog in the first place, and admitting her mistake. Thank you, viewers. Dorit says, 100%. She has so many regrets. Camille doesn’t understand why Dorit didn’t return the dog. Dorit says she thought what she was doing was in the dog’s best interest, and believed the dog was going to a loving home. LisaR says she called LVP the next day, and LVP never once said she couldn’t rehome the dog. Andy asks if someone was sent to check out the new home, and Dorit says, there was never a home visit. Didn’t all this stuff happen pretty quickly? They remind me of some people I know who think you exist in a vacuum when you’re not in their orbit. LVP probably trusted Dorit’s judgement – who knows what Dorit told her – and it’s not like everyone at Vanderpump Dogs has nothing else to do. They couldn’t possibly have planned ahead for a random decision Dorit was going to make. Which, I might add, was in violation of the contract. Kyle interjects, the dog never went to a kill shelter. Every shelter has a facility for euthanization. Here’s some news for Kyle too. When no-kill shelters get overbooked, they often send dogs on to another shelter, which can be a kill shelter. Dorit says LVP put a disgusting story out; the dog was never in danger being killed. Andy says Teddi went so far in the other direction in the Bahamas, when she said she never lied. We see that clip, and Teddi says at that point, she’d told Dorit. Okay. Maybe Teddi should be a justification coach. Or an accountability-if-you-get-caught coach. She said she’d called Dorit a narcissist, and said bad things. Dorit seems surprised, saying she didn’t say that. All she said was that she’d had impure thoughts. Is Dorit confusing this with a Catholic confession? That also makes it sound like Teddi wanted to sleep with her. Andy says Teddi was still lying to the others, and Teddi says she’s learned her lesson about never speaking in absolutes again. Andy says she was lying about lying, and Teddi says she’s taken ownership. Kyle tells Andy what Teddi meant was that she wasn’t a liar, and prides herself on being an honest person. Because they have to speak for each other now. Teddi says she toyed with it in her head, and knew she was making a mistake.

Andy asks Camille about season two, when LVP wanted her to talk to Taylor. Camille says LVP was concerned about Taylor, but when they went to discuss it, LVP left her to hang. We flash back to all those years ago, when Camille confronted Taylor about her husband abusing her. Boy, what a mess all that turned out to be. Camille says, LVP threw her under the bus. She was drowning with no life raft. This woman likes a metaphor. Andy wonders if John Blizzard should have been fired, and we again go back to season two, where Adrienne’s chef made snarky comments about LVP. In return, at the reunion LVP said she wouldn’t let someone work for her who trashed her friend. Kyle says John Blizzard was doing what he was told to do. Dorit asks, who wouldn’t get reprimanded or fired? Kyle thinks John has a lot of information, and Erika seconds that

Andy says viewers complained that they spent most of the season talking about LVP and Puppygate, maybe strategically to bury their own stories. Tom defaulting on a loan is mentioned, and Erika says, resolved, and they apologized. Andy says Mary in Texas asked about Mauricio scamming someone out of $36 million. Kyle says that’s what the property sold for. It’s a property dispute, but the way it’s worded is damaging. He says Dorit is involved in a lawsuit by her former partner. Dorit says they want a certain amount of money. Andy says, in the Bahamas, a woman was chasing Dorit around. We see a clip of that, although it’s unclear why the woman is following her. She’s got a phone, but we’re too far away to see if she’s recording, trying to get an interview, or what. Andy asks why no one brought anything up, and Kyle says, why? They don’t need to, and didn’t want it to come out and hurt Dorit and PK. Erika says it’s just an accusation. Dorit says the judge ordered mediation, and it’s in the lawyer’s hands, so she can’t discuss the details. Andy brings up a pending issue with a former LVP employee suing her for wrongful termination. He claims she told him to sign John Sessa’s name on checks. LisaR says, isn’t that forgery? Because the attention hasn’t been on her for a hot minute. He asks if LVP would have been open about it if it had happened during the season. Kyle doubts it, but says they wouldn’t have brought it up. Really? I find that hard to believe.

The next topic is the pressure to have a perfect body. We see clips of Erika saying she eats dessert every day, and makes no excuses; Teddi talking about putting on weight, and being told she needed to lose weight for an audition; Kyle talking about her eating disorder; and LisaR’s daughter being allergic to everything, and saying all she cared about was skinniness. Andy asks LisaR what made Amelia go public. LisaR doesn’t know, and didn’t ask. They didn’t realize for a long time, but when they were confronted with how Amelia looked physically, they couldn’t ignore it. Dorit asks if Teddi’s family knew about her issues, and Teddi says someone made a comment at Thanksgiving. She just wanted them to accept her as she was. Andy asks LisaR when the pivotal moment was, and she says when they had the barbecue, He asks what she thinks Harry should have done differently, and LisaR says the therapist told him, STFU. Amelia is healthy at this moment. Recently, someone told her that she didn’t look anorexic, that she wasn’t thin enough, and it’s a big trigger. Andy says LisaR seems defensive if anyone ask if she has issues, and asks if she thinks Amelia picked up anything from her. She says it’s hard to avoid food issues, being in the business, but she’s been the same weight since she was twenty. She’s gone to therapy, and can’t blame herself, but she does. So much shame is involved. Kyle says it was about her kids. She didn’t tell her daughters. Her mom was very open, and it made her uncomfortable, so she went the opposite way, sheltering her kids. She still hasn’t had a full conversation with them. She’s scared. Andy asks Denise about her relationship with food, and she says she can pretty much eat what she wants. She did lose a job though, when casting went off of a paparazzi picture. She says Eloise wasn’t walking yet, and her arms were very lean. It made her self-conscious about leaving the house. You need to look a certain way for the job.

A viewer asks where Erika gets her positive body attitude. Erika says she’s always been thin. This is probably the heaviest she’s been. She knows how to eat, and knows how to lean down. She doesn’t mention that she must burn a lot of calories dancing. Andy says Camille wasn’t 100% secure after she had cancer. How is she feeling now? Camille say, better, but it’s still hard. LisaR says it’s funny how they all have their own thoughts about their bodies, no matter what they look like. Andy says those aren’t the only issues that plagued the women. They were consumed with finding the fountain of youth. According to LVP, Dorit even had a head transplant. We flash back to LVP joking during the lie detector test. Erika says she hates when people ask what work she’s had done. It’s kind of rude. Andy says since the Wives began, common among every franchise was the women chasing the fountain of youth. Erika say they’re judged for it, and it’s the way people ask. Dorit thinks it’s comical, since she’s only had Botox and fillers. Makeup can also do wonders. She makes it clear that she didn’t have a head transplant, but I’d say she needs one, and not because of her looks.

Andy tells us, when LVP left a vacant lot in Kyle’s heart, Teddi moved in, and became Kyle’s new bestie. We see clips of them together. In an interview, Kyle says they’ve grown closer. They so much in common, and make each other laugh. We see more clips. Dorit says, eventually they’re going to morph into one person. We flash back to Dorit saying that Teddi is Kyle’s henchwoman, and has a tendency to insert herself. Andy asks when they went from casual to best friends, and Teddi says they clicked during her first season. We see clips from that, and I start to wonder if they needed this much old footage since they didn’t have enough reunion to cover three episodes. Andy says a viewer thinks they’re co-dependent. Erika asks if they’re a therapist. Kyle says the viewers see them traveling and doing things together. Erika says, Kyle gets to be a big sister. Another viewer thinks it looks like Teddi is crushing on Kyle. Andy reminds Camille that she said their friendship was creepy. Why did she feel that way? She says Teddi seems to be up Kyle’s ass. Teddi points out that Camille asked Kyle to be a bridesmaid, but they don’t hang out. Camille says she’s known Kyle a long time. News flash for Teddi. Many bridesmaids are old friend who don’t necessarily hang out with the bride in the present. Camille says when LVP made an exit, Teddi was right there. Teddi says she knew Kyle before that. Camille says Teddi always cuts off any conversation with Kyle, when she’d like to speak one-on-one. As she’s talking, Teddi cuts her off, and Camille says Teddi made her point. Andy asks Camille why it’s okay for her to interject, and not Teddi, and Camille says, Teddi can be more opinionated when it’s not needed. He asks Dorit how she feels, and she thinks it’s a nice friendship, but she does find you can’t have a conversation with one, without the other inserting themselves.

Andy wants to talk about what led up to Kyle and Teddi’s insisting Erika must be annoyed about LisaR’s impression; Farrahween and the other Erika Jayne. A viewer thinks LisaR’s impression was bad, and LisaR points out that she wasn’t performing; it was a Halloween costume. It was the most fun in a costume she’s had. She felt uncomfortable being in the photo with Kim. We flash back to her giving Kim the finger. Kyle says she thought the real Erika would never do that. Andy says she and Teddi were on the same page, wanting Erika to be upset. We flash back to the dinner where they practically begged Erika to get angry, and she did, but because of them wanting her to. Andy says Teddi didn’t have a dog in the fight, so why was she so upset? Teddi says she wishes she’d let it go, and probably would have, had she been in the right state of mind. By that, I assume she means sober.  LisaR says she wasn’t even there, but she had so much to say. Teddi thinks she internalized it, and thought about how she would take it, then projected that on Erika. Zzzzz…. We flash back to Kyle doing an impression of Teddi, and Andy asks why that was okay. Teddi says they were joking around, but what LisaR did wasn’t a joke. He asks why they thought Erika didn’t want to be around them, and Kyle says she takes Erika’s moods personally, and thinks she did something. Teddi says, there were two mornings in a row. We flash back to both times Erika wore sunglasses at breakfast. Once when she had a hangover, and another time when she was getting a migraine. Erika says what’s funny is, she had the best time. Andy asks the women about an airport Starbucks incident, and Kyle says, Erika was not in a good mood. The guy was taking their order ahead of hers, and Erika snapped at him. Maybe she combined that with the morning thing, and thought Erika didn’t want be around.

Andy asks what LisaR thinks about Kyle saying, sober Rinna is boring. LisaR say she can’t blame Kyle, and Kyle says look at Andy’s baby shower. We see a clip of LisaR dancing on the bar, and she says she can’t be drunk all the time. Andy says Kyle went on to say, sober Erika was even worse. She doesn’t remember saying that, but Andy shows a clip to remind her. Andy also unearths Teddi saying that Erika is fake, and does what she needs to do to make you feel good. I think it’s just the opposite; Erika doesn’t care if you feel good. Erika says by now, Teddi knows her well enough to know she means it. We flash back to when Teddi coined the phrase pretend amnesia. Teddi says she doesn’t remember that conversation, but she’s being accountable. Andy asks if she still thinks Erika is fake. Teddi says, Erika isn’t fake, but those mornings were rough. She was paranoid, and instead of thinking it was something personal with Erika, she assumed Erika was coming for her.

Andy asks Camille’s opinion about LVP not being there. Camille says, she should be there. He asks why Camille thinks she isn’t, and Camille says she thinks LVP is pissed about the Brandi clip. We see Denise and Brandi meeting for drinks, and Denise telling Brandi about LVP possibly leaking the story about Dorit. Camille says Brandi is LVP’s arch enemy <snort!> and she feels betrayed. She felt Denise had her back. Denise says they didn’t meet to talk about her, even though Denise clearly brought up the subject when it was unnecessary. LisaR asks why she didn’t come there and say so. Denise says she’s new and neutral. Andy asks if Camille is still in contact with LVP, and Camille says they texted last week. Andy knows LVP was furious about what Camille said about her teeth, and we flash back to that. Camille says LVP was very upset, reminding her, once it’s out there, it’s out there. We see a clip from Watch What Happens Live, where LVP says Camille should be more concerned about what comes out of her mouth than what’s in LVP’s. Andy asks if Camille thinks LVP would have still invited her to the Vegas opening if she’d known what Camille said. Camille says, no.

Moving on to what Andy calls, Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Grammer Meyer. He wonders if two faces are better than one. No surprise, we see a bunch of clips. Andy says there were accusations that Camille talks out of both sides of her mouth. He asks if, after seeing the show, there was anything that made Camille understand where they were coming from. Camille says, the way it was put together, yes. Kyle tells Camille that she says one thing to one person, and a different thing to another. She said she was upset about LVP when they were all together, but a different thing to LVP. Camille ask if she can’t feel both ways, and Dorit says, not when they’re contradictory. Camille says she felt terrible about LVP’s brother passing away. Dorit says that has nothing to do with it, and Teddi says Camille can still joke about LVP’s breath. Camille says they all laughed, and Kyle continued with it. Kyle tells her they’ve all said things off-camera, but she’d never out Camille. Camille says they’ve all talked about each other behind each other’s backs. Kyle says, not on camera, and Camille says, hypocrisy at it’s finest. They wanted her to be mad. Kyle says, pick an opinion and stick with it. Don’t go back and forth. Camille says she can have thoughts independent from one another. Kyle says she’s trying to please everyone, and just pissing them off by not standing up. Camille asks what Kyle wants her to stand up for. They want her to jump on the hate train. Dorit says Camille does fine with her own hate train, and Camille calls Dorit fake. Erika thinks Dorit worked hard – Camille interrupts, and says she doesn’t like people who pretend to be something they’re not. She’s been around this town a long time, Dorit just shows up, and there’s something about her. Dorit says Camille is entitled to her opinion. She just asks that Camille be honest about it. Don’t pretend to like her. We see a clip with Camille saying she feels bad about what she’s said, and is glad to be getting to know Dorit. Dorit says there were moments like her wedding, and Camille’s 50^th birthday, and Camille says, that was for production. She didn’t really want to invite any of them to the wedding. Andy says she has power over herself, and the others make noises about how she could do what she wanted. Andy says it seemed like Camille went all in about finances and PK. We flash back to Camille talking about PK’s bankruptcy and lawsuit at dinner. Camille says she walked in not knowing the dinner was an ambush. After her assistant had passed away, and they trashed her on the bus. We revisit that, and Camille says don’t come to her wedding, then treat her disrespectfully afterward. She can’t say something nice about LVP without the Witches of Eastwick coming after her.

Kyle says Camille is scared of LVP because of Twitter. She doesn’t want to be bashed. Camille says she can tell Dorit isn’t genuine, and she says what she feels in the moment. Andy suggests the talk about what Camille was saying, and LisaR says she was telling them about how LVP hurt her by not being there. It was bad timing that they saw the magazine article afterward, where Camille said amazing things about her. Camille says the interview was given a week before. Kyle talks over everyone, saying they’re all talking over each other. LisaR says it was a kneejerk reaction to reading the article. Camille says there was nothing in it against them. Kyle says Camille was clear that LVP wasn’t being a friend to her. Camille admits that LVP has been a fair-weather friend. Kyle says LVP never showed, and they left their homes and families to support her, Yeah, it looked like a real hardship. They’d thought she wanted them there. Andy says they showed up; LVP didn’t. Camille says she understands that. Denise asks why she’s so angry; take it down a notch. Camille tells her, shut up, and LisaR says, don’t tell her to shut up. Camille says Denise told her to tell her daughter that she’s an effing liar about Teddi brushing her off. We see a clip where Denise says nothing of the sort, and Teddi says Camille called Denise a bad mother, which didn’t happen either. I wonder if we’re watching the same show. Camille tells Teddi that what she said was she doesn’t curse at her kids. Denise says she does not, but Camille tells her that she said it in the Bahamas when she was drunk. We see another clip (before unseen) where Denise says she screams her head off and doesn’t feel bad afterwards, because it’s the only way the kids listen.

Denise asks what’s wrong with Camille, and tells her that she needs to take a second. This is not good. Andy says Denise went to lunch with Camille, where Camille trash talked everyone. What was going through Denise’s mind? Denise says she was uncomfortable, and Camille says, this is a set-up. She walks off, and her dress is half-off by the time she gets to the dressing room. Denise asks if she’s on something. Camille tells the producer that she did say she cursed at her kids. Denise wonders why Camille is so angry, and Andy says, what set-up? Denise says Camille is effing nuts. Camille says she’s leaving, and calls them nasty bitches.

Next time – Part Three (finally) – Andy talks Camille into coming back, Andy gets a present, Camille says she was hurt by Teddi saying the best part of her wedding was the departure, Denise says Camille is talking out of her ass, Erika tells Denise to stop it, and Dorit says it’s a sad end. It is indeed.

🍛 I’m not even going to start watching Ambitions. Not that it doesn’t look good. It looks fabulous, but my TV plate is so full, I can’t fit another thing. And while I miss my Tyler Perry fix, it’s nice to have a break from the Tuesday programming crunch.

🍕 Someone needs to tell Blue Diamond Almonds that when most people have cravings, it’s not for wasabi and soy sauce. When they make those almonds taste like a box of Godiva chocolates and a pizza, we’ll talk.

🔎 A Crime Almost Solved…

I remember when this happened, and hope they catch the other lowlife.

https://patch.com/new-jersey/holmdel-hazlet/man-indicted-violent-2017-home-invasion-former-rhonj-star

👀 They Must Be Watching Me…

Because I already am.