Category Archives: Caitlyn Jenner

Apr28

April 27, 2021 – Anna Races To Save Chase, Patrika Talks Soap, Birthday Wishes, Reflection, a Campaign, Throne Prequel & Clear

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina says Jax was going to tell her why he came there, and he says they’ll get to that in a bit, but he can’t shake the image from his mind. When they put him on the gurney, before he was wheeled away, he opened his eyes for a second and saw Sonny. He was standing there, clear as day. But that’s not possible, is it, because Sonny is dead.

Outside Jax’s room, Phyllis asks Sonny if something is wrong. He says he doesn’t feel like dropping in on Jax; the guy doesn’t even know him. She says, Nina knows him, and it would mean a lot to her if he was there.   

Alexis is brought to the visitor room, and she tells the guard, she thinks there must be a mistake. The only visitor she’s allowing is Diane, and Diane isn’t available. The guard says, maybe she suddenly became available. Alexis goes into the room, and sees Valentin.

At the MetroCourt, Sam says she got Dante’s message. Is he okay? He says, that depends on who you ask, but his mother is worried about Maxie. She wants him to look after her. Sam says she thinks it’s a good idea with Peter hanging around all the time. What’s the problem? He says he thinks the problem is him. What if he makes things worse?   

Brook tells Olivia, she was there when Peter burst into the Lamaze class. He acted like he owned the joint, and Maxie. She could see Maxie was upset, but she didn’t realize Maxie was desperate enough to hide her baby from him. Olivia says, Maxie is beyond desperate. She was talking like Nathan could hear her, and she swore she was going to keep her baby safe from Peter, no matter what. Maxie is going to do what Olivia did with Leo, and pretend the baby is stillborn.

Anna says Peter got what he wanted, to see Maxie. He says she knows that’s best for everyone, including his unborn child. She tells him to give her the antidote while there’s still time.

Elizabeth says Finn is holding something back. What is he not telling Chase about his condition? He says he knows how the toxin got in Chase, but he can’t identify what it is. He can ease Chase’s symptoms, but he can’t neutralize the toxin.   

Chase has a seizure, and Willow yells for help. Finn runs in, and says he has to get Chase’s airway open.

Sonny tells Phyllis, he thinks he’d be more comfortable waiting while Phyllis checks on Jax. He can call Nina later.

Jax wonders why he’d be hallucinating about Sonny. He’s sympathetic with the family, especially Carly, and he’s upset that Josslyn is grieving, but Sonny isn’t his favorite person. Nina imagines that Carly is still talking about Sonny, so he has Sonny on his mind, even if it’s subconscious. Phyllis comes in, and asks how the patient is. Nina says, better, now that he took a bullet for the team. Jax says, taking a bullet was all he had to do to get Nina to like him again, and Phyllis says she likes his attitude. She thinks he and Mike will get along. Jax says, Mike? and Nina says, he’s a local man, but Phyllis says, he’s more than that. While Jax was fighting with the one robber, Mike took down the other. Jax says he’d like to meet Mike; they can trade war stories. Phyllis says she was hoping Jax would say that. Mike is outside.

Alexis tells Valentin, she said no visits from family members, and he says, on a scale of one to ten, how is it in there? She says, one hundred. He says, despite her preparations? and she says, it’s worse and more dangerous than she expected. She didn’t expect it to be a picnic, but everything would have backfired, if not for Nikolas. Valentin asks, what about Nikolas? and she says, she suspects Nikolas made a deal with Cyrus. He says, so she’s beholden to her nephew, and her nephew is beholden to Cyrus. Now it makes sense. She asks if there’s something he’s not telling her, and he flashes back to Anna telling him that they can’t let anyone know. They’ll have to stick to the agreement to back Peter up while he reconciles with Maxie. Valentin says, yeah. Congratulations are in order. He’s going to be a father again.  

Brook asks if Olivia is sure she heard correctly. Maxie was super emotional, and pouring her heart out at Nathan’s grave. Olivia identified because of what she went through with Julian, and maybe she was doing that thing… Olivia says, transference? She didn’t transfer anything. She heard Maxie say she wanted to save the baby from Peter. Brook asks if she’s mad that Maxie stole her idea, and laughs. Olivia tells her, don’t laugh, and Brook says she knows enough about Peter to know he’s dangerous. If Maxie plans to fake the baby’s death and hide it, she doesn’t want to know, or care to know. Olivia says Brook has to promise not to breathe a word, and Brook promises. She says she never thought she’d say, poor Maxie. The only thing she has to worry about is whether she’s getting the ELQ shares back before or after the baby is born. Their situations couldn’t be more different.   

Sam says, Lulu is Maxie’s best friend, and Dante is the perfect person to help her. He says he used to be, before he was diagnosed with PTSD. It’s like his brain was rewired. She asks if he’s saying he doesn’t trust Doc. Doc says he’s in full control. He says, that’s Doc’s best guess. Psychology is not quantifiable. He doesn’t know for sure. What if, when Maxie needs him most, he blows it? She says he doesn’t know that, but he does know someone who’s lost the same thing, and didn’t trust who or what they were. He asks if they’re talking about her.  

Peter says, Anna claims she wants to help Chase, but can’t resist digs at him. She won’t acknowledge that he has a vested interest in Maxie and his child, and that his presence might be beneficial to them. Anna says she doesn’t care. She has no time to stand and argue. He won; is that what he wants to hear? He outmaneuvered her at every turn, and she won’t come after him. He asks, what about Valentin? and she says, Valentin won’t make a move against him. It would jeopardize Chase, and Valentin knows she won’t forgive him. Give her the damn antidote. He asks if she’s nervous. She hates not being in control. That’s how he felt when she lied about being his mother. Maxie asks how everything is out there, and Peter says, it’s fine. Take your time. He holds out the vial, and says Anna had better hurry. She might make it, depending on the traffic. Anna grabs the vial, and runs. Maxie comes out, and asks where Anna was off to in such a hurry. Peter says, she has to visit a friend in the hospital. 

Finn asks that the room be cleared, and Elizabeth tells Willow to leave. Chase says, Willow, and she says she’ll be right outside. Finn says some doctor stuff, and says Chase isn’t going to die on him. He’s not going to lose Chase.  

Phyllis tells Nina, Mike is out there waiting; he didn’t want to intrude. Jax says, tell Mike that he wants to meet him, but Nina says, if Mike is feeling shy, she’ll go speak to him. Phyllis says, good idea, and Nina leaves. Outside, Sonny asks how Nina’s friend is, and she says, he’s going to make a complete recovery. Why is he there? He says he just wanted to make sure she was okay, and she says, that’s very sweet, but she’s fine. Can they talk later at the Tan-O? He says if he didn’t know better, he’d think she was trying to get rid of him.

Alexis asks who the lucky girl is, and Valentin tells her it was Brook; one night, and a whole lot of fun. She asks when he found out, and he says he knew before she was sentenced, but he thought he’d spare her his personal drama. She says he seems happy about it, and he says he’s over the moon. She’s a Quartermaine, so that means parental rights will be an ongoing and sustained negotiation. She asks how Charlotte is taking it, and he says, she’ll come around. Alexis says he doesn’t seem convinced, and he asks if she has any advice. She says he wants advice from her? Okay. Ask himself, what would Alexis do, and do the opposite.   

Sam tells Dante, before she knew she was suffering from toxic hallucination, she was hallucinating that Sonny wanted to kill her. So she shot him, and left him for dead. She was still hallucinating afterwards, and it was scary. It was driving her mad until Finn saw what was wrong. He says, that was a physical illness. This is weird psychological stuff. She tells him, she’s trying to say, the way to recover is time, treatment, a little more time, and a whole lot of love from family. He says, they’re the ones who keep you going, and she says she had to learn to believe in herself again. She had to learn to trust her own judgment, not just figure out what do next. It was like learning how to walk again. The trick is, you can’t do it alone.

Brook thanks Olivia, who asks what she did. Brook says she realized that she was taking her baby for granted; putting her feelings about the dad, ELQ, and her love of sushi first. Olivia made her realize, she has to do right by her child. Olivia says, the power of prayer, and Brook says, Olivia told her about Maxie, and she thought of all the ways Maxie was sacrificing to do right by her baby. Brook wants to do right by hers. Olivia says they can go shopping for shop healthy food, and baby clothes, but Brook says she has to restock her prenatal vitamins. She’ll keep what Olivia told her about Maxie in the vault, triple locked. She leaves, and Olivia says, that went well. A little too well.

Maxie brings out the teddy bear, and says she found it. It fell under the crib. She’d put it with the other stuff. He says, their baby is sure going to be one spoiled girl, with him at the head of the line. Maxie says, him and her both. She wishes she could stay pregnant, and protect the baby forever, and he says, pregnancy agrees with her. She looks wonderful. He suggests they have a houseful of kids, but Maxie says, one at a time. This one isn’t even born yet. She needs to focus on her doctor’s orders; avoid stress, stay calm, and get rest. He says that’s why he’d like to hire a fulltime nurse. Maxie says, the nurse would live with her? He says, until the baby arrives, or if she wants, afterward, until she’s back on her feet. She says, that’s very sweet, but she likes being on her own. It’s not like it’s her first baby. He says it’s his first baby, and she has her hands full with James, especially when Georgie visits. If the nurse doesn’t live in, perhaps he can move in, and help shoulder the load.

Elizabeth says, Chase’s blood pressure is dropping, and his heart rate is starting to drop. Finn says blah-blah-blah more doctor stuff.

Anna comes out of the elevator and sees Willow. She asks how Chase is, and Willow says, he had a seizure. They’re working on him now. Anna jets to Chase’s room.  

Elizabeth tells Finn, Chase’s blood pressure is dropping again. His body is shutting down. Anna stands in the doorway, and says, Finn?

Jax asks if Phyllis has any idea when he’ll be released, and she says he just had surgery last night. He’s only been awake a few hours. He doesn’t have to prove he’s a hero. He says he’s not trying to prove anything; he’s worried about Nina. She asks, why? and he says, because she’s there hiding from the world. Part of it is his fault. That’s why he came to see her. Phyllis says, she’s happy here. Why can’t he let her be?   

Sonny wonders why Nina is trying to get rid of him, and she says, because she doesn’t want her Port Charles life to intrude on her life there in Nixon Falls. Last night could have ended worse, but the good news is that it’s not serious. Phyllis says Jax is going to make a full recovery. She’s grateful for that. The sooner he goes back, the better.

Dante tells Sam, if he helps with Maxie and the baby, he could use some help. Sam says, lucky for him, She’s his friend. If he’d be willing to help Maxie – she takes his hand – she’s willing to help him. He thanks her, and he says, this helping thing is a two-way street. The next time she has contact with Alexis in Pentenville, ask her if she needs anything. She says, that’s nice of him, but Alexis made it clear that she doesn’t want to see Sam or her sisters. He says, there’s got to be a reason, and she says she thinks Alexis cares too much about what they think. 

Valentin says Alexis is too hard on herself. Sam, Kristina, and Molly are intelligent, sophisticated, charming young women. They didn’t get that way on their own. Alexis says, maybe they did in spite of her, and Valentin says, they love her; that’s all that matters. She says she’s tested that love. That’s why she doesn’t want them to visit. She feels like she failed. This so much worse than she thought. She underestimated it. She doesn’t want them to see her until she adjusts, but he tells her not to be ashamed. She’s on the road to a better version of herself, and the road to redemption isn’t pretty. It’s not her job to protect her daughters; it’s her job to let them love her, and love them back. That’s part of the deal.

Anna sees equipment being wheeled into Chase’s room, and Finn calls for a defibrillator. Anna holds up the vial, and Finn goes over to her. He asks if this is it, and she nods. He takes the vial, and Elizabeth watches as he puts the contents into a syringe. He then shoots it into Chase’s IV bag. Finn stands over Chase, and Elizabeth continues to observe.

Peter says, it will be like old times. Her, him, James, Georgie when she comes to visit; then the delightful addition of their little Lu. She says, if she agrees to the nurse, will they be on call 24/7? He says, of course (🍷). The nurse can monitor her and the baby’s health, keep the place organized, make sure she’s taking her prenatal vitamins. She says, just until the baby is born? and he says, and after if she needs it. He wants someone he can trust in case of unforeseen circumstances. She says, such as? but he says it’s just him being overprotective. What does she think? There’s a knock at the door, and Maxie answers. Brook breezes in, and says she needs to talk to Maxie. She sees Peter, and he says, by all means, don’t stop on his account. She was saying?

Phyllis tells Jax, when Nina arrived, she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. It didn’t take her long to let go of the pain she brought with her. Jax says he doesn’t deny Phyllis and Lenny have been good for Nina, and Phyllis says, not just them. Nina found another good friend in Mike.

Nina tells Sonny, she knows it’s irrational, and promises to explain later. Right now, she has to convince her ex to leave. Sonny says, she doesn’t think he will? and she says, not until he gets what he wants, which is her. He asks if she thinks she’ll give in, and take her ex back, but she says, no. It’s more like she’s afraid if her ex stays longer, he’ll find out some things about her that she doesn’t want him to know. Sonny says she doesn’t seem to scare easy, so he guesses he doesn’t know her as well as he thinks. He suggests he go in with her, but Nina blocks the door. She says, that’s exactly what she doesn’t want.   

Alexis tells Valentin, she knows how much her daughters love her. That’s what gets her through the day. He says, they can help her in person, but she says she doesn’t know if she can hold it together. He says, they can be strong for her. They can handle it. His time is up, but before he goes, what can he do to make her life easier?

Dante tells Sam, when he had PTSD, he shut out the whole family. He told Lulu to divorce him. He didn’t stop loving her, but he was convinced he was a threat to everyone he loved. That meant he missed out on time with his kids and his wife; time he’s not getting back. He thought he was being selfless, but he was being selfish. She says, maybe he didn’t want them to perceive him as weak, and he says, he was trying to spare them, but he was really sparing himself. She says, she thinks that’s what her mother is doing by telling them not to visit, and he says, whatever Alexis is doing, don’t let it stop her from reaching out. Olivia comes in, and says, they looks so serious. Is everything okay? Sam looks at her phone, and tells them, Valentin says her mom wants to see her right now. She says, wish her luck, and jets. Olivia asks if Dante wants to tell her what’s going on with Sam.  

Peter asks if Brook ever thought of calling first, and she says, she doesn’t know. Has he ever thought of asking if Maxie wanted him at Lamaze class? Maxie says she’s happy Brook is there; she and Peter can talk later. Peter says he’d like to set hiring the live-in nurse in motion, and Maxie tells him to line up some candidates for her to interview before she decides. He says he’ll ask the hospital for some recommendations, and she tells him to call her. He leaves, and Brook asks if aliens have taken Maxie over. Maxie asks, why? and Brook says, Maxie was nice to Peter, who she wouldn’t trust as far as she could throw. Maxie says, what makes Brook think she trusts Peter? 

Willow looks in Chase’s room window, and Anna walks down the hall. Willow follows, and says, if anyone can save Chase, it’s Finn. Anna says, sometimes even the best doctors can’t win against… Willow says, what? and Anna says she doesn’t know. Sometimes circumstances are too great. She asks how long Willow has been there, and Willow says, today? A few hours. Anna says she means since Chase was brought in, and Willow says she’s lucky. Michael and the Quartermaines are taking care of Wiley. She’s been able to spend a  lot of time with Chase. He said it helps to have her close. Anna says Willow must love him, and Willow says they’ve been through a lot together. She hopes and prays Chase comes through this, so they can both find happiness. Anna says, that seems to be a good thing to wish for, and Willow asks if Anna doesn’t feel the same way about Finn.

Finn waits, while Elizabeth checks Chase’s vitals. She says, his blood pressure is rising, and Finn says, cancel the code. The equipment is wheeled back out, and Finn says, keep fighting, son. Keep fighting. He strokes Chase’s hair, and kisses the top of his head. Elizabeth watches. She seems to be doing a lot of that today.

Sonny asks why Nina is acting like this. He thought they were friends. She says, they are, and as a friend, she’s asking him to trust her on this. He says, on what? and she says, on that she can handle her ex without help. Phyllis comes out, and says Jax is asking for Nina. Nina says, great. Sonny/Mike can take Phyllis back, and she’ll drop by later. Nina goes back into Jax’s room, and Phyllis asks if Sonny is all right. He says he’s doing good, and hopes he can say the same for Nina.

Nina says Jax needs to get some sleep, but he says, not until he tells her why he came. It changes everything.

Brook says she doesn’t get it. Maxie doesn’t trust Peter? Then why let him near her? If he brings in a live-in nurse, it will bring Peter closer, more in Maxie’s life. They’ll keep tabs on Maxie. Maxie says just because she and Brook shared one Lamaze class, doesn’t mean they bonded. Brook asks, what about when they were in the ER? and Maxie says Brook was rambling about nothing, and working overtime to avoid Britt. Maxie has a crap detector, and wants to know why Brook is really there.

Valentin runs into Peter, and Peter says he was just thinking about Valentin. Valentin says Peter wasn’t thinking about Anna, and how much he enjoys holding Chase’s life over her head? Peter says knowing Valentin can’t play hero for Anna, puts a smile on his face. He ran into Valentin’s baby mama at Maxie’s, and she was her usual pleasant self. Valentin tells him, if he’s forced to choose between Brook and Chase… Peter says, relax. He was there when Brook barged in. Valentin says, Maxie let Peter in willingly? and Peter says they don’t have a monopoly on fatherhood. Finn will do anything for his son. Anna do anything for Chase, and do anything for Finn. Like asking Maxie to see him.

Willow tells Anna, forget she asked; it’s none of her business. Anna says she and Finn loved each other very much, but they’re both involved in different ways of living. They had to admit that, be honest, and walk away before they hurt each other anymore. Elizabeth comes by, and tells them, the crises has passed, but Chase has a long way to go before they can say he’s improving. Willow goes back to Chase’s room, and Anna cries. She says, they almost lost him, and Elizabeth says she knows. Finn comes out, and Elizabeth joins Willow in Chase’s room. Finn tells Anna, Chase’s vitals are stabilizing. He thanks her, but Anna says, don’t. they both know it’s her fault.

Sonny tells Phyllis, he trusts Nina. He knows she’s a big girl, and can take care of herself. Phyllis says, but he wants to stay, and make sure she’s all right. She knows that’s his impulse, but Nina will think he’s hovering. She knows where to look if she needs them. He asks if Phyllis thinks Nina will need them after her ex saved her. She says she has the feeling Jax is Nina’s past. Who knows what, or who, is in her future? He laughs, and says, all right. Come on.

Nina tells Jax, she’s so sorry, but nothing can change the past. That’s why she’s staying there, and he’s going back to Port Charles. He says he’s trying to tell her that he spoke to Michael. If she comes back, there may be a chance for her to be a part of Wiley’s life after all.

Olivia tells Dante, forget him for a moment. She just had this conversation with Brook. He asks, what happened? and she says she doesn’t know. Either Brook had a massive breakthrough about the responsibility of motherhood, or Brook is playing her like a grand piano. Either way, she needs the distraction. What’s going on with him and Sam? He says, Sam wanted him to look after Maxie, and he volunteered to help. She’s in a tough spot with Peter. Olivia says, Peter is bad news, and he says he doesn’t know if Maxie wants to kick Peter to the curb or bring him back. She says, Maxie isn’t the only one confused about her life. He could use a friend too.

Alexis sits in the visiting room, and Sam comes in.

Willow sits at Chase’s bedside, when he opens his eyes. He says she’s still there, and she says she told him she wasn’t going anywhere. He closes his eyes again.

Finn asks, at what cost did Anna get the antidote from Peter? but she says, don’t worry; just take care of your son. He says he will. He had to use the whole vial to save Chase. What if he needs another dose? Anna says, Finn is going to isolate the toxin, and find a cure. If not, she’ll make sure Chase gets what he needs, Whatever it takes. She goes into the elevator, and Elizabeth looks at Finn.

Valentin tells Peter that he and Anna kept their end of the bargain. They haven’t disparaged him. Peter says, not in public anyway. Think what they will, he’s an honorable man. Valentin says, stay away from Brook, and Peter’s phone dings. Peter says, hold that thought. He sees that Chase is out of the woods, and says he guesses it worked after all. Touching. He tells Valentin, fatherhood has changed him. He guesses it’s changed Valentin too. 

Brook tells Maxie, chalk it up to high school. This is why she’s there. They can start over. Maxie’s best friend is in a coma, and a murdering bastard is her baby daddy. Maxie says, this is not starting over, and Brook says she had time to think when she was in Bensonhurst. They’re both becoming mothers, and she thinks for once, they’re on the same side. Maxie says, Brook clearly wants something. Spill. What does Brook want Maxie to do for her? Brook says, Maxie’s got it wrong. It’s what they can do for each other.

Tomorrow, Chase asks Willow when she’s coming home, Britt says they have a problem, and Carly tells Jason to trust her, and do it her way.

🧼 Y&R Talk…

Patrika Darbo, one of my favorites. And she even has a cool name.

ICYMI Patrika Darbo Guests on Digest’s Podcast
The Young And The Restless Spoilers: Patrika Darbo Talks Joining Y&R Cast

🎂 Who You Wishin’ a Happy Birthday…?

Teresa’s tribute to her new main squeeze.

https://pagesix.com/2021/04/23/teresa-giudice-posts-birthday-tribute-to-boyfriend-luis-ruelas/

🎶 She Survived…

I don’t think she could ever top Friday.

https://nypost.com/2021/04/23/friday-singer-rebecca-black-reflects-on-surviving-internet-infamy/

🤷🏻 Might As Well…

It worked for Arnold, so why not?

https://people.com/politics/caitlyn-jenner-announces-campaign-for-governor-of-california-im-in/

https://people.com/politics/how-caitlyn-jenner-has-described-her-political-views/

🐉 Write Faster, George…

I thought, geez, this is a modern set. Then I realized it was a table read.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1262976/game-of-thrones-prequel-series-teases-start-of-production-with-new-bts-pics

🏃🏽‍♀️ Skedaddling…

See you in Jersey tomorrow, when there’s also a preview of Vanderpump Rules. So I guess that’s a go now? No matter how you feel about that, if anything at all, stay safe, stay remembering May 9th is Mother’s Day, and stay not hiding from the world. Someone is bound to find you anyway.

Oct10

October 9, 2020 – Gladys Crashes the Party, Josslyn’s Song, Kim Talks, Ricky’s New Role, Eboni Interviewed, Caitlyn Is a No, Teresa Unmasked, He’s Really Sorry, New Game, Another Spin, a Solid Dozen Quotes & No Grudge

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

On the phone with Olivia, Lulu says Mike was always so good to her. Please give Sonny her condolences. Olivia says she will, but she promises Sonny gets it. Monica asks how the service was, and Olivia says, it was beautiful. Ned says Sonny thanks her for the donation she made in Mike’s name to the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. She was very generous. She says Mike was a lovely man, and even though she and Sonny and Carly have had their clashes, no family should have to endure such a painful loss.

Josslyn helps Carly set up at the MetroCourt, and says she’s glad they’re having a party. Mike would approve. Josslyn tells Carly that Trina’s mother is out, and she said Trina could come there. Although if Carly wants, she can cancel. Carly says Trina is always welcome, or is Josslyn looking for a reason to cancel? Did something happen between her and Trina? Josslyn tries to blow it off, but Carly says, hey. If hey learned anything from Mike’s funeral, it’s that life is too short not to say what’s on your mind. Josslyn says she and Cameron kissed at the dance, and she doesn’t know how to tell Trina.

Sam comes in with Jason and Brando, and says she wants to check on her mom. She never showed at the funeral. When she’s gone, Brando asks Jason if he thinks everything is settled. There’s a lot more they could be doing. Jason says, not there. They’re not talking about it there.

Sonny is about to leave the church, when the door opens. It’s Dante. Sonny hugs him.

Ned says Monica is welcome to join them, but Monica says she thinks the best way for her to honor Mike’s memory is to not intrude on the family. Ned says he’ll send his regards, and she asks him to hang back. There’s something she needs to discuss with him. Olivia says she’ll see him in a few. He asks if he should be concerned. Is everything okay? She says, everything is not okay, and he damn well knows why.

Brook texts Amy: Everything is ready for the Deception meeting later. I can’t begin to thank you enough. 

Carly says Josslyn and Cameron go way back. The kiss must have been pretty confusing. Josslyn says, tell her about it. One moment they were talking like they always do, relaxed and easy, and the next moment, they were kissing. Carly asks, was it good? and Josslyn says, very good, but Dev found them, and said Trina was having a hard time. She went to find Trina, and she and Cameron never got to talk about it, or what it meant; assuming it meant anything. Carly says she’s sure it did, and Josslyn says, maybe. Or maybe it was just a one-time thing, or a mistake. Or the beginning of something. Carly asks if she wants it to be, and Josslyn says, kind of. She doesn’t want it to be a big deal, especially if Cameron doesn’t feel the same way, especially since, for a moment, she thought Cameron had feelings for Trina. Carly says she thought they were just friends, but Josslyn says she doesn’t know what’s going on. She’s thinking she has to tell Trina, and Carly agrees, especially with a friendship like she and Trina have. Maybe  talking to Trina can help her figure out how she feels.

Jordan and Curtis come into Charlie’s, and stop by Ava and Trina’s table. Jordan says Trina looks pretty, and Trina thanks her. Ava says they’re discussing gallery business, and Jordan says she’ll leave them to it. Curtis says it’s good to see them both. Trina glares at Curtis, and Ava says she knows Trina is grieving, and knows she needs someone to blame for her father’s death, but Curtis saved her life. He deserves a parade for that. Trina says she doesn’t. They get to walk around all happy while trashing her father’s name. He wasn’t corrupt. He was a good man. Cyrus comes by and says, good men often make mistakes.   

Brando wonders why he gets the feeling that there will never be a good time to talk about this with Jason. Jason says he asked Brando to drop it, and he can’t, which tells Jason that he’s not disciplined. Brando says he knows the difference between discipline and determination, and he thinks Jason does too. Jason says it’s Sonny’s decision to make, not his. Let’s make this a celebration about Mike. Brando says he’ll grab a drink; see how disciplined he is? He goes to the bar, and Sam asks Jason if he’s okay. He asks, what’s going on? and she says Alexis isn’t picking up the phone. She has no idea why her mom wouldn’t make it to Mike’s funeral. Jason says they can go over to Alexis’s place afterward, but Sam says maybe she’ll call by then. What’s going on with him and Brando?  

Dante tells Sonny, he’s sorry he missed Mike’s service, but Sonny says Dante showing up is a gift. He knows Dante’s grandfather has something to do with this. He tells Dante, you’re right on time, son.

Monica tells Ned, Tracy reached out, and he says he didn’t realize she and Tracy kept up correspondence. Monica says, they’ve had a Washington/Moscow crises line going, and according to Tracy, it’s 11:59 on the Quartermaine doomsday clock. If Ned doesn’t get his affairs in order, Tracy is going to come back and get them in order for him.   

Alexis sees Brando, and says, Sonny’s cousin, which makes him Mike’s cousin, and explains why he’s there. Brando says, all of the above. She says she’s sorry for his loss, and he thanks her. he says, Mike was a really good man. Her daughter said some meaningful things at the service. She says they probably shouldn’t talk about her daughters, and he says, Molly told her? She says, yeah, and he says he and Molly have an understanding; it never happened. She says, yet it did. She’s well aware how a one-night stand can cause some complicated repercussions that can ripple through the rest of your life.  

Carly tells Josslyn that she’s there if Josslyn needs to talk. She has a wealth of experience to draw from. Josslyn says she thinks she needs time to process it; a lot has been going on. Carly suggests Josslyn write in her journal, but Josslyn says she put it away. Dustin suggested it as a way to work through her grief about Oscar, and it helped at first, but eventually she realized that it kept her looking back. Dev quietly comes in, but Josslyn and Carly don’t notice. Josslyn says she took the journal to the basement, and put it in the memory box Carly started for her. Carly says she’s so proud of Josslyn, and Josslyn tells her, hold that thought until she tells Trina about the kiss. Carly says she does need to check in with Trina, but the first person she should talk to is Cameron. Dev makes himself known, and says the guests are arriving. He asks if Carly needs help, but she says, that’s what the staff is for. They were just talking about homecoming. Did he have fun?   

Trina gets up and tells Cyrus, her father didn’t make a mistake, and he knows it. Cyrus says a judge determined her father lied. That’s why he’s there, instead of in prison. She says he’s the corrupt one, not her dad, and Ava says, it’s obviously not a good time, but Trina says, don’t apologize for her. This man is a liar and a killer, and Cyrus says, clearly, the court says otherwise. Curtis gets up, and says, clearly, his presence isn’t wanted there. Cyrus walks away, and Trina glowers at him and Curtis. Curtis goes back to his table, and Ava tells Trina, she’s sorry. Cyrus had no right to insert himself in their conversation. Trina says she’s tired of feeling angry and helpless all the time. She can’t stand the sight of Cyrus. Ava tells her she’s not helpless. Take her anger and use it. Trina says, how? and Ava tells her, change the narrative about her father.

Curtis says he told Cyrus that Trina was off limits. Cyrus says, that young lady could learn some manners, but Curtis says if Cyrus sees her, go the other way. Cyrus says his business isn’t with Trina; it’s with Jordan. So why doesn’t Curtis just walk away and leave him alone with her.

Sam asks if Jason has changed his mind. Does he think Brando might be involved with Cyrus? Jason says, it’s not the time or place to talk about it, and she asks him to listen to himself. When is the right time? It wasn’t last night, or this morning, or yesterday. She almost lost him in an accident, and she’s not letting that happen again. They fought hard to get back to where they are, and he’s shutting her out. Alexis and Brando join them, but Brando excuses himself, and keeps walking. Sam asks why Alexis missed Mike’s funeral. Alexis flashes back to drinking heavily, and says she’s well-aware that she missed the service, and Sam asks, what’s more important than saying goodbye to Mike?  

Sonny says Dante looks good. Dante says, that’s debatable, but he feels okay. Sonny says, just okay? and Dante says he’ll put it this way; he feels better than he’s felt in a long time. That’s a win for him. Sonny says he hates to ask, but do the authorities know Dante is there? Dante laughs, and says he’s officially been released. He came directly back to Port Charles, but he wishes he’d gotten there sooner. Sonny says he’s so glad Dante is back. You know who else is going to be glad? Just wait until Lulu and the kids lay eyes on him.

Dustin tells Lulu that Rocco fell asleep clutching his Gameboy. Lulu doesn’t think Gameboy has been a thing for twenty years, and he says he’s dating himself. She says he’s dating her, but he says he thought they’d moved on to seeing each other by now. She says how does with each other sound, and he says, how about romancing? Or wooing? She thinks they’re past the wooing stage, and he says he’ll consider her wooed. She tells him that he knows she loves him.

Curtis says anything Cyrus tells his wife, Cyrus can tell him. Cyrus says, it’s sweet; they’re in this together. If one goes down, so does the other. Curtis says, no one is going down. 1257 Wilson Avenue. Cyrus counters with, 827 Emerson Street, apartment 5D; it’s TJ’s place, and Jordan asks what he wants. Get to the point. He gives her a piece of paper, she looks at it, and hands it to Curtis. Curtis asks, what the hell is this? What is he up to?   

Trina runs in, apologizing for being late. Carly says Trina’s not late, but she needs to mingle, and asks Dev to come with her. Josslyn tells Trina that she needs to talk to her about something important, but Trina says she needs to tell Josslyn something first; it’s really important.   

Alexis tells Sam, she didn’t intend to miss Mike’s funeral. She forgot to set her alarm. Sam says, it was in the middle of the day, and Alexis says she had trouble sleeping and didn’t feel like herself when she woke up. She feels like herself now, and she’s here. Is her explanation okay, or does Sam need more details? Olivia joins them and says it’s good to see Alexis. Alexis says she’s glad she made it. She asks when Olivia got back, and Olivia says, yesterday. Alexis knew she was away? Alexis pretends to get a message, and excuses herself.  

Ned says he’s sorry his mother dragged Monica into their business, and Monica says she wouldn’t have if Ned had answered her texts, calls, or emails. He says he already knows Tracy is already furious because Valentin took over ELQ on his watch. Monica says, she knows he’d rather avoid a conversation with her. She’s been there many times, but Tracy isn’t just upset about ELQ, she’s worried about her family. He says he shouldn’t be surprised his mother knew there was tension between him and Olivia. Monica says the state of his marriage isn’t what what’s infuriating Tracy. He decimated the relationship with his daughter. Ned wonders when Tracy has taken an interest in Brook other than disapproving of her. Monica says he’s certainly taken up that mantle, hasn’t he? 

Brook tells Olivia, she didn’t get a chance to speak to her at the service, but she’s sorry about everything that happened with the family. Olivia says she is too, especially for Brook and her father. She hopes things have cooled down, and the family can get back on track. Brook wonders if Ned and Olivia are back on track, and Olivia says, they’re working it out, especially since she left a message, then lost her phone. Brook says she knows Olivia did, and Olivia thanks her for the vote of confidence. Brook says, no. She knows because she erased the message.    

Lulu apologizes to Dustin, saying she didn’t mean to put him on the spot. Don’t feel obligated to say it back. He says he loves her. He’s felt it for a while, but he didn’t know where he stood, and didn’t know what to say. He wanted to take it slow, not just for the kids, but for her, and he didn’t want to push for a commitment if she wasn’t ready. She’s worth the wait. She says, it looks like they’re on the same page. Maybe that means they’re ready to take another big step together.

Dante tells Sonny it will be good to see Lulu and the kids, and everyone else. He wishes he could have seen Mike before he passed. How was he? Sonny says Dante was there at the start with Avery. He’s sure Dante had a feeling of where it was headed. Dante asks, but how was he in the end? and Sonny says, there wasn’t much left except love and pain. He wanted his dad to live so bad, but Mike was hurting, so he had to let him go. Dante says, it must have taken a lot of courage. He’s proud of Sonny. He wishes he could say he’d be able to do the same. Sonny says, everybody is at the MetroCourt. Why don’t they get over there? but Dante tells Sonny that he can’t.

Jordan asks Cyrus what she’s supposed to do with this? He says, it’s a PCPD case number. Bring him all the files from the investigation. It’s not much for him to ask, considering what’s at stake. Curtis asks what that would be, and Cyrus says he’s asked so little of her, Jordan must have known he’d be calling in a favor soon. He tells Curtis, don’t threaten him again – ever. He walks away, and Jordan tells Curtis that Cyrus is baiting him. Let him. Curtis says he knows. They need to let Cyrus believe he has them where he wants them. Jordan says, so when they take him down, he doesn’t see it coming. Curtis asks, what’s with the file Cyrus is asking for? but she says she won’t know until she pulls it.

Cyrus sits down at Ava’s table, and she says she didn’t ask him to join her. He says he wants to see how she’s doing, and she says, why? They have nothing of interest to discuss. He says, oh, but they do. Her brother.

Ned says Monica can’t be comparing him to his mother? And she says, heavens no. She’s comparing him to Edward. He says, Edward disinherited his mother multiple times. All he did was ask Brook to grow up, and take responsibility for her life. Monica says he threw Brook out of a house he doesn’t even own. Tracy and Brook have something in common; they were ousted by their fathers. Ned agrees he prioritized keeping ELQ in the family, and he was harsh with Brook when she sold her private stock, but he’s not the same person as his grandfather. Monica says, maybe so. Edward was a philanderer. He cheated on Lila, even though he loved her very much. He did anything to cover it up. He threw Beatrice la Sur in the rose bushes to hide her from Lila. He and Ned aren’t cut from the same cloth.

Olivia asks if Brook was trying to make her father suspicious, and Brook says she was furious at Olivia and her dad; at everything. Her father threw her out, and just when she’d found a place in Deception, Nelle slashed her throat. It’s no excuse, and she told her dad, but it was too late already. The hotel called and he flipped out, thanks to her. Olivia says she gets it. Brook was mad at the world. Like seemed unfair, and at that moment she needed to lash out at something. Brook asks if Olivia is forgiving her.

Alexis gets a club soda, and takes it to one of the hallway tables. She opens her bag, and takes out a fifth of vodka.

Sam tells Jason that she’s worried about her mother. She thinks Neil’s death is affecting Alexis more than she’s admitting. She doesn’t know what to do; push, or is she pushing too hard? She says that’s what she’s doing to him, isn’t it? Pushing too hard. He says he didn’t say that, and she says, he didn’t have to. Carly comes out and asks if everything is okay, and Sam says, great. She’ll be right back. She jets, and Carly asks, what’s going on?

Brando asks Dev how the dance went. Did he tell Josslyn how he feels? Dev says Josslyn put him in the friendzone, and went off with Cameron. Brando says, that’s brutal. Gladys walks in with a pastry box, and says, there are her fellas. She called Turning Woods to find out about Mike’s belongings, and found out the funeral was today. She asks why Brando didn’t let her know. He says, sometimes she rubs Sonny and Carly the wrong way, and she says, never mind. It’s good to see him, and her handsome grandson. They’re still playing that game, right?

Lulu suggests Dustin move in, and he says, she means permanently? She says she knows it’s a big step, and they haven’t talked about it. Having him there felt right. He says, if he did, the kids would have to be on board. She says, Charlotte likes him, and Rocco thinks he walks on water. She thinks it would be taking something good and making it better; more permanent… If that’s what he wants. He says he wants, but there’s one big factor to discuss – Dante.   

Dante tells Sonny, he’s not ready for a big thing. The last time he came home, his mom threw him a party, and it didn’t go so hot. Sonny sits down with him, and he says, Olivia hasn’t seen him in so long. Dante says he’s going to see her, but not with a big crowd of people around, and he’s got to take care of something first. Please don’t say anything yet. Sonny says it doesn’t feel right not telling his mother. Dante says he heard her when she came to see him. If she hadn’t come, he probably wouldn’t have come home. Sonny says, but home now.

Jordan asks what the address is that Curtis threw at Cyrus. What’s the significance? Her phone rings, and she says she’s got to take it.

Ava asks what Cyrus would want with Julian. Julian owns a bar; they have nothing to discuss. Cyrus says, Julian hasn’t always been a simple proprietor of a bar, nor has she been an elite gallerist. Ava says she’ll address what he’s been dancing around. She and Julian are Jeromes, and any alleged illegal activities are in the past. He says he has someplace he needs to be. Tell Julian he was asking about him. He hopes Julian is healing from the tragic loss of his young and beautiful wife.

Trina tells Josslyn, she’s made the decision not to tell her mom. Dev comes by, and Trina says he should hear this too. She was telling Josslyn her plan to prove her father didn’t frame Cyrus. He would never lie about a suspect to get a bust. Everyone wants her to back off and shut up, and she’s tried, but she can’t let them trash her dad’s reputation. She’s going to clear his name. Josslyn asks, how? and Trina says she needs their help. She knows they can figure it out. Are they in? Josslyn says, of course (🍷). Dev says, sure; whatever, and walks away. Trina asks if that’s supposed to be a joke, and Josslyn says, it’s hard to tell with him these days. Trina asks if Josslyn is with her, and Josslyn says she is, and she’s sure Cameron is too.

Ned tells Monica that he needs to make it right with Brook. He tried to apologize, but he and Brook can’t be in the same room without it developing into open warfare. Monica says he needs reinforcements, and he asks if she’s enlisting. She says, it’s either her or Tracy. Tracy would be on a plane right now if Monica hadn’t convinced her that she’s eminently qualified to help patch things up with his daughter. He thinks it should stay between him and Brook, and Monica says, fine, but he’d better fix it. If he doesn’t, Tracy will fix it for him, and neither one of them wants that.

Olivia tells Brook, life is too short to hold grudges; just ask Sonny. If her marriage isn’t strong enough to withstand an erased message, what’s the point? Brook is shocked Ned didn’t give her up, and Olivia says her father is trying. In the spirit of forgiveness, maybe Brook could throw a little his way. Brook tells Olivia, she’d like to say yes, but she’s not there yet. Olivia hopes they get there. For Brook’s sake and her father’s. Brook says she needs a refill, and asks if Olivia needs anything, but Olivia says she’s okay.

Alexis dumps the soda out in a planter, and pours the vodka in the glass. I’m baffled as to why she wouldn’t just add it, since it would take less time and be simpler. Olivia sees her messing around.

Gladys says it’s good to see Carly. She went to the bakery in Bridgeport, and got the crumb cake Mike liked. She gave it to Dev to put on the table. She says she’s sorry she missed the funeral. Carly says she didn’t miss it; she wasn’t invited. Gladys says she’s happy Brando was there for her and her family. Her son has sacrificed so much, but he’s blood, right? Brando says, that’s enough, and Gladys says, as she was driving there, Cousin Mike was talking to her. He said Brando should have more than a garage. He wants Brando to be a trusted associate like Jason. I’m wondering if she isn’t in on whatever they’re doing, but she reminds me of my Aunt Lucille. After my grandfather died, she told my grandmother that he’d come to her in a vision, saying go live with my grandmother. Rent free of course (🍷 yes, it even goes for me).

Sonny says Dante can see his mom when he’s ready. Don’t take too long. Dante promises it won’t. Sonny says he’s got to go to the MetroCourt, and asks if Dante needs a ride somewhere. Dante thinks he’ll walk. He wants to get reacquainted with the town again. They hug, and Dante says, when things calm down, they should get three Yankees tickets; one for him, one for Sonny, and one for Mike. Sonny says it’s the best news he’s heard all day, and Dante leaves.   

Dustin tells Lulu, if he moves in, he wants to respect Dante’s relationship with the kids. She says, that’s very thoughtful of him to consider. Dante will always have a place in the kids’ lives. If and when he wants to claim it. He asks, what about a place in her life? and she says part of her will always love him. Dante told her not to wait, and to move on, and she did, with him. It’s not Dante’s house anymore. It’s hers, theirs. If he accepts her invitation. He says he will, and she says, good answer. They kiss.

Alexis says she didn’t see Olivia, and Olivia says she can tell Alexis is going through a rough time. She wants Alexis to know, if she needs to talk… Alexis thanks her, and says she appreciates it, but she’s kind of talked out. Ned appears, and Alexis says Ned’s been helping her.

Curtis asks if Ava is okay, and she says she’s fine. It’s her spitfire assistant she’s worried about. He says, him too, and she says she’s grateful for him saving Trina’s life, even if Trina’s not – yet. He says he can handle Trina’s attitude. It’s Cyrus who got to him. She says he’s not the only one, and he tells her, take care. She says, back at him, and he leaves. Ava looks at her phone, and says, come on, Julian. Where is he?

Josslyn asks how Trina plans to proceed proving her father didn’t falsify evidence. Trina says, first, she needs to get her hands on the files on that dirtbag Cyrus. Josslyn says they might be public record, and Trina says, maybe they can find a sympathetic person to help them at city hall. Josslyn says, it’s a good place to start.  

Dev looks in Josslyn’s memory box, and finds her journal.  

Brando tells Gladys, Sonny’s business doesn’t concern her or him; stay out of it. Gladys says she was hoping Sonny would realize what he’s got in Brando. Sonny joins them, and Gladys says she’s so sorry about Mike. He was one of the good ones. Sonny asks, what’s going on? Gladys says, they were just talking. It must be great having Brando around. He’s done so much, she’s sure Sonny wants to reciprocate. She knows Sonny has associates, like Jason, but nothing is more valuable than family. Mike always treated her with so much respect. Sonny says his dad had a soft spot for her. It’s the only reason he’s letting her stay. She says she and Mike were family, and loved each other. To honor Mike’s memory, Sonny should give Brando what he deserves. Carly says Gladys looks thirsty – ha-ha! I’m wondering if she’s making a play on words – and Sam says they should get her hydrated. They lead Gladys away, and Brando tells Sonny, Gladys must have found out about his visits to Turning Woods; he didn’t tell her. She did have a point though, about him having a bigger role in the business. Sonny says, it’s been decided.  

Cyrus comes into the MetroCourt, and Jason tells him that he’s not welcome there.

The doorbell rings, and Lulu says, just a second. She comes out tucking her shirt in. She opens the door, and Dante is there.

On Monday, Dante asks Lulu if she wishes he hadn’t come back. Ava tells Julian that they’re supposed to seal the deal. Carly tells Gladys the ATM is closed, and Brando says he didn’t do it.

🕯 Funeral Song…

What Josslyn sang at Mike’s funeral. I got the title right. Yay me.

“Stronger Than Before” From GENERAL HOSPITAL — Josslyn’s Beautiful Song for Mike

🗃 How Kim Feels…

Bringing a new Jackie to Port Charles.

https://www.soapoperadigest.com/content/kim-delaney-on-joining-gh/

🎊 Still Shaking His Bon-Bon…

It’s been so long, I always forget Ricky Martin was on GH.

https://www.soapoperadigest.com/content/gh-alum-books-new-role/

🗽 Eboni Speaks…

The latest New York Wife tells all.

https://www.essence.com/entertainment/eboni-k-williams-first-black-woman-real-housewives-of-new-york-cast/

💎 My Hopes Are Dashed…

It would have actually been pretty interesting to have Caitlyn Jenner join the cast. More interesting than Kris, that’s for sure.

https://pagesix.com/2020/10/01/andy-cohen-slams-report-that-caitlyn-jenner-sophia-hutchins-are-joining-rhobh/

👄 Bad Girl…

You’d think she’d make a fashion statement out of it.

RHONJ’s Teresa Giudice Slammed for Not Social Distancing During Daughter Gabriella’s 16th Birthday

😔 Apology Tour…

Yeah, yeah. You called people fat and now you’re sorry.

https://pagesix.com/2020/10/04/most-hated-man-in-gossip-perez-hilton-now-wants-to-apologize/

You know it’s pretty bad when Howard Stern won’t talk to you.

https://pagesix.com/2020/10/08/perez-hilton-claims-hes-banned-from-the-howard-stern-show/

🐉 Spoiling the Throne…

All about the Game of Thrones prequel.

https://www.tvguide.com/news/house-of-the-dragon-casting-spoilers-premiere-date-game-of-thrones-prequel/

💍 They Just Keep Spinning…

I’m not sure if these people deserve a spin-off, but I have mad respect for the 90 Day Fiancé franchise for knowing how to milk it.

https://screenrant.com/family-chantel-season-2-pedro-other-cast-members/

🦉 Quotes of the Week

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. – Benjamin Franklin

We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are. – Max De Pree

I’m paying twelve dollars for a martini. They’re lucky I’m not taking a chair. – Evelyn Harper (Holland Taylor), after being called out on putting Sweet & Low in her purse at a restaurant, Two and a Half Men

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. – Albert Einstein

This is more stupider than I ever expected anything to ever be. – Karen Everett, Chantel’s mother, The Family Chantel

Grief is love looking for a home. – Susan David, Ph.D.

In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy. – Albert Clarke

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it. – Chinese Proverb

Your dream is a reality that is waiting for you to materialize. Today is a new day! Don’t let your history interfere with your destiny! Learn from your past so that it can empower your present and propel you to greatness. – Steve Maraboli

You’re three and a half hours late. ** Yay, lunchtime! – Alice’s Boss (Kevin Yamada) and Karen (Rebel Wilson), respectively, How to be Single

Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else. – Nathaniel Branden (And don’t you ever forget it.)

I’m excited for 2020. – Shannon Beador, The Real Housewives of Orange County

🥊 Bobbing and Weaving…

Captain’s log; Phase 632; Day 4,279 of the pandemic. Otherwise known as the weekend, and what was sometimes known as a holiday weekend. I don’t think we should be tearing down statues (although I’m all for putting unsavory historical figures in a museum), but I never did quite grasp the Columbus Day holiday. Either give everyone the day off or don’t. Whether it’s an extra weekend day or just like any other, stay safe, stay au courant, and stay not holding grudges. Life is too short.

Nov12

November 11, 2019 – Anna Makes Her Entrance, Abbi Bails On the Crew, Kate On Brandy, Cait’s Return, the People’s Vote, Silverware & Johnny’s Flag

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

At the PCPD, Jordan tells Jason that she can’t allow him near the Cassandra Pierce search. For one, he’s not a cop, and two, someone could say Sam helped Cassandra escape. He says Sam tried to stop her and helped the guard, but Jordan says, what transpired could be interpreted all kinds of ways. He needs to keep his distance.

Laura thanks Valentin for coming to the station. He says he didn’t have much choice. He was told he’d be arrested if he didn’t, but no one mentioned on what grounds. Laura says she asked the Commissioner to bring him in. He asks if it’s something specific, or is this just garden variety harassment? She says Cassandra escaped, and she thought he could help to find her.

Nikolas sneaks into Jax’s place via the terrace door. Jax turns on the lights, like what your dad would do if you were sneaking in after curfew. He says he left the door unlocked for Nikolas in case he was coming back. Nikolas says he tried calling Jax, but got voicemail. Jax says he got Nikolas’s message saying their situation was compromised. Nikolas asks where Jax was, and why he didn’t pick up his phone, but Jax says he’ll ask the questions. Where was Nikolas? Nikolas flashes back to picking up Cassandra at the park.

Finn sits on the couch, eating, reading, and using his laptop, as we all do. He starts to type, and the doorbell rings. It’s Hayden and Violet. Hayden asks if there’s any chance Finn is up for visitors.

At the cemetery, Julian says he hopes Lucas doesn’t mind him showing up. It’s fitting, since their first conversation as father and son happened there. Lucas says Julian rejected him for being gay. Julian says they’ve come a long way; he’s come a long way. Lucas doesn’t think so. His progress was an illusion. Julian hasn’t changed. He’s less homophobic, but he’s still a liar, and Lucas wants nothing to do with him.

Obrecht sits next to Brad at Kelly’s counter. She says he’s looking pitiful, and he says he didn’t ask her to join him. He’s not in the mood. Obrecht says his mood is irrelevant. They have a more pressing matter to discuss. Those tests he manipulated for her; what has he done to cover his tracks?

Lulu asks Maxie when Peter’s move-in date is, and Maxie says, in a couple of weeks. That gives her time to clear out a closet. She suggests planning a dinner for the four of them; her, Maxie, Peter, and hot Dustin. Peter needs more friends, and hot Dustin is great. Lulu says he is great, but she feels it’s too soon for a couples dinner. Speaking of dinner, she needs to get Charlotte home. She looks at the counter, but Charlotte isn’t there. She wonders where Charlotte went.

Valentin asks when Cassandra escaped, and Laura says, this evening. It’s very important that they find her. Like she needs to say this. That’s why Valentin was brought in for questioning. Cassandra’s first phone call was to him after she was apprehended. What did they talk about?

Jordon tells Jason that she’ll have to do a press conference. In the meantime, stay out of this. And they didn’t have this conversation. He says, got it.

Valentin says they dragged him there, and inconvenienced Nina. Nina says she wanted to come. They’re trying to make this Valentin’s fault. Laura says, no one is blaming Valentin. On his way out, Jason calls Spinelli, and tells him that Sam got a partial plate number from the van that picked up Cassandra. He thanks Spinelli, and says he’s on it. Jordan joins Laura, and Laura asks about Valentin’s meeting with Cassandra when she was in custody. Valentin says Cassandra wanted his help; she wanted to trade on their prior association. They knew each other briefly in Europe before he knew she was a criminal. When he found out, he broke it off. Jordan asks why he wouldn’t have ignored her call, unless she had leverage. Valentin flashes back to asking Cassandra if she’s threatening him with telling the police that his wife drugged her. Cassandra says, hardly. It’s not likely they’d take her word over Nina’s, but Nina doesn’t know that, does she?

Jax asks Nikolas where Cassandra is. Nikolas says he doesn’t know. He arranged for her escape, and she managed to escape from him. Jax asks, how? and Nikolas says she jumped out at a red light. He tried to reach Jax to call 911, but Jax didn’t pick up. He had to call 911 himself. Jax asks why Nikolas was helping her, and Nikolas says he thought Cassandra was cutting a deal. He couldn’t risk her telling anyone that he’s alive. He had to help her before she gave him up. Jax says, she’s a huge criminal; a drug dealer. Now he finds out, not only is Nikolas connected to her, he helped her escape prison. He didn’t sign up for this.

Violet asks if this is Finn’s house, and he says he lives there. Hayden says the hospital told her that he was gone for the day, so she thought they’d stop by. He says they saved him from a solo dinner of a turkey sandwich with a side of research. Violet says, what? and Hayden tells her, it’s Dr. Finn’s way of saying he was having a snack while working. Remember how he made her feel better? He has to study up, so he can make other people feel better. He helps lots of people. Violet is glad they’re friends, and Hayden says she’s glad too.

Julian asks Lucas, where is this coming from? Lucas says if he didn’t know better, he’d buy Julian’s innocent act. But he does know better. Brad told him everything. Brad never had an affair. Julian framed him, hoping to break them up, and didn’t care about breaking up Wiley’s happy home, or Lucas’s pain, or his love for his husband. Julian says, not true, and Lucas asks how he can say that. He deliberately set Lucas up to break his heart, thinking he’d shrug it off, and he could buy Wiley enough toys that he wouldn’t miss his other father. Julian says Lucas is wrong; it’s just the opposite. Lucas says Julian attempting to deny it, is how he knows Julian works. He denies everything until one day, the truth comes out. Is that how he wants to play this? Julian says he’ll tell Lucas the truth. He did stage the affair.

Brad tells Obrecht that he admitted to Lucas that he did extracurricular lab work for her. She asks why on earth he would do that, and he says Lucas was questioning his behavior. She laughs, and says, he’s just questioning it now? Brad has always been a furtive weasel. Brad says Lucas knew he was hiding something, and he needed a plausible explanation, so he confessed. She needs to keep her distance; no more special projects. She says Brad might repair his marriage, and perhaps that might work for him, but it doesn’t work for her at all. Brad’s marital problems will get worse when she tells Lucas that Wiley was stolen.

Lulu says she’s checked the whole building, and Maxie says there’s no sign of Charlotte outside. Lulu says, they know Charlotte is independent and impulsive, but she knows better than to wander off at night. When she calls Charlotte’s phone, it’s going straight to voicemail. Either Charlotte has the phone turned off, or she’s ignoring it.

Down by the docks – I’m not sure why anyone hides there, since it’s like Grand Central Station – Charlotte asks if Cassandra is sure Nina is okay. Cassandra says, Nina is fine, and she’ll stay that way as long as Charlotte cooperates. Charlotte says she is cooperating. She came with Cassandra, but all Cassandra has done is play with her phone. When is she going home? Cassandra tells her, be patient. If she tells the police what Nina did, Nina will go straight to prison. Charlotte says Cassandra promised not to; that’s the only reason she helped. Cassandra says, when Charlotte goes home, she’ll find Cassandra is a woman of her word, but she has to exercise patience. Charlotte’s parents put a tracking device on her phone, and Cassandra is a bit of a technical wizard. She knows how to turn it off. Charlotte says, papa needs to know where she is, and Cassandra says Valentin is lucky to have a daughter who’s so devoted. She’ll change her tune in the next year or two, but meanwhile, she suggests Charlotte try to be more pleasant. No one is finding out where Charlotte is until Cassandra wants them to.

Nikolas says he had no idea about Cassandra’s criminal past, and took the trouble to revive her solely to get information about Valentin. He thought they’d never intersect. Jax says, clearly, he thought wrong. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Jason who says he’s got to talk to Jax.

Violet skips around. She sees Anna’s ceramic bulldog with the Union Jack bandana. She asks if it’s Finn’s, and he says it belongs to a friend of his from England. Has she ever heard of England? Violet says, no, and Hayden says she’s never been there, but she’s a fan of one of their customs; the tea party. Violet asks if they can have one right now, and Hayden and Finn laugh.

Lucas says he’s impressed. He expected Julian to lie his way out. Not that it would have done any good. Brad recorded their last conversation, and he heard it himself. Julian says, all of it? and Lucas asks what he means. He knows enough to know Julian tried to frame Brad. Julian says he was trying to protect Lucas. Brad is into something shady, and he didn’t want it to blow up in Lucas’s face. Lucas asks, why not tell him? but Julian says Lucas would have confronted Brad, who would have denied it, which is what he does. Lucas would have been forced to choose between his husband and the father he just let back in his life. He would have chosen Brad, because that’s exactly what happened.

Valentin says Cassandra called him, and thought she’d blackmail him, suggesting she had incriminating information on him, and she was willing to give him up. He called her bluff. She knew nothing; he never committed a crime in his life. Jordan suggests he’s had ample time to cover anything up while Cassandra was with the WSB. He says she had nothing, and she knew that he knew that. That’s the last he heard from her. Nina says, when they thought Sasha was her daughter, Cassandra targeted Sasha, and almost killed her. Even though she’s severed ties with Sasha, she wants to see Cassandra punished. Valentin says Jordan had assured him that Cassandra had been extradited to the Hague to face trial. He’s answered her questions, now answer his. Why was Cassandra allowed to stay in Port Charles?

An officer calls Jordan over to the phone. It’s Lulu, who asks Jordan to send an officer over to Kelly’s. Charlotte wandered off, and she’s not picking up her phone. They can’t find her anywhere.

Jason continues to bang on the door. Nikolas hides. Jax answers, and says, sorry. He was out on the terrace. What’s the urgency? Jason says he’s there about Sam. She was on work detail, when Cassandra escaped. Cassandra hit the guard in the head, and Sam stayed to help. Whoever arranged her transportation could be charged as an accomplice. She met a guy driving a van, and Sam got a partial license plate number. He had it traced, and the van was rented using a credit card from Jax’s holding company, J. J. Jax Alaska.

Hayden asks Finn if he’s sure it’s okay to use the nice China. Finn says Violet seems skillful in pouring; she’ll make a good surgeon one day. Hayden says they’re using apple juice. The pour is the same, but there’s no chance of being scalded. When they have a tea party, they usually have more guests. Finn asks if Violet invites her friends, and Hayden says Bella and Otto join them; they’re stuffed toys. Bella has been around since Violet was three months old, and is very soft and well loved. Otto is an owl who came along when they were in a toy store in Italy. She told Violet that she could get whatever she wanted, and she wanted Otto. He’s wise-looking, and on the formal side; not the most approachable stuffed animal, until you get close enough to hold him. He’s soft and squishy. Finn says he’d like to meet Otto, and Hayden says she knows they’d get along great.

Julian says he was trying keep Lucas free of the hole Brad dug. Lucas asks how Julian justifies using cruelty and deception to help out? He’s not going to let Julian use family as an excuse. He’s done for good. Julian says, don’t do this, but Brad says, no; he’s done. No more lies and betrayal. It’s too exhausting. Even if he could take it, why should Wiley have to?

At Kelly’s, Lulu gives the officer a recent photo of Charlotte. He asks her to text it to him, and she does, while describing what Charlotte was wearing. She doesn’t know how it happened. Charlotte was sitting at the counter, doing her homework. Maybe she got impatient. She can be impetuous. Lulu suggests maybe she went to a pop-up T-shirt stand they passed, but Maxie says she checked there, and the stand is gone. Lulu says maybe Charlotte is out looking for it, and asks the officer, please, just find her.

Obrecht tells another officer that she didn’t see Charlotte. She’s sure she would have noticed; Charlotte is like a niece to her. Brad says he saw Charlotte earlier, but didn’t notice her leaving. He was talking with Willow, then Obrecht. The officer shows them a picture of Cassandra, and asks if they recall seeing her today around Kelly’s. Brad says there might have been a woman who looked like her, but he can’t be sure. The officer talking to Lulu shows her the photo. Lulu says her mother helped apprehend Cassandra, and he says, she’s believed to be in the general area. Lulu says her daughter is missing, and an escaped fugitive is on the loose.

At the station, Valentin is on the phone, and asks if they’ve seen or heard from Charlotte. Laura says her granddaughter is very headstrong and independent. She may have decided to head to Windymere on her own. Valentin says he just spoke to the launch captain, but he hasn’t seen her, and neither has the housekeeper. Jordan wonders if there’s anywhere else Charlotte could show up, and Nina suggests Crimson. She tells them to check the freight elevator and the sample closets. Laura asks Jordan to send a car to Lulu’s house. Maybe Charlotte went home on her own. Nina asks if Valentin is waiting for Charlotte to call, and he says, not Charlotte; Cassandra.

Charlotte tells Cassandra that her papa will give Cassandra what she wants. Cassandra can go away, and never tell about the bad thing Nina did. Cassandra says she’s going to wait, and give Valentin time to get good and scared. Charlotte says he’s never scared, and Cassandra says she has so much to learn. She’s the apple of Valentin’s eye, and he loves her without reservation. He’s terrified harm will come to Charlotte, and she’s going to take full advantage of that fear.

Jordan says there’s been no sign of criminal activity at Kelly’s, and no one remembers seeing Charlotte leave. Laura says there haven’t been any calls about Cassandra sightings since the call to 911. The PCPD is canvassing the area, but she’s concerned it was a diversion. While the authorities are concentrating on one area, Cassandra could have fled elsewhere.

Valentin tells Nina, Cassandra has Charlotte, but Nina says Charlotte was warned about her. Valentin says, Charlotte is a child, and no match for Cassandra. He doesn’t know how she did it, but Cassandra knows he’d do anything for his daughter. She’ll contact him soon enough. Nina asks if he’s going to tell the police.

Julian tells Lucas, life doesn’t go according to plan. He got to know his grandson, and Lucas. They bonded as a family, and it’s meant everything to him. When he saw Brad putting that in jeopardy, he tried to protect Lucas; it’s what parents do. He admits he overreacted, but Lucas says it’s more than making a bad choice. It was a calculated attack on his family. He’s not jeopardizing his family to give Julian another chance. He’s done. Julian asks, what if he says something to help Lucas understand? But he has to listen with an open mind. Lucas’s phone rings. It’s Brad, who says he’s at Kelly’s. Heads up. Charlotte disappeared, and they’re started to worry that she wandered into the path of an escaped prisoner.

Violet sleeps on the couch. Hayden says Violet was having so much fun, she didn’t want to break up the party. Finn hopes there will be more, but the first one will always be his favorite. She says, her too. She’ll give the dishes a quick wash, and they’ll be on their way. Finn suggests putting Violet in the guest room, and then doing the dishes together.

Jax tells Jason that he had nothing to do with Cassandra’s escape. Jason says he didn’t think Jax did, but thinks the card information was stolen. Jax says he charges most of his expenses to his Aurora credit card; the one from Alaska is only for international transactions. It could have been hacked. Jason asks if there’s any chance Jerry was involved, but Jax says, none whatsoever. Jason asks if Jax has any other ideas, and Jax asks if Jason has any leads. He takes it that he should expect a visit from the cops. Jason says Sam didn’t tell them about the license plate, but eventually they’ll trace it to Jax. Jax thanks Jason for letting him know. Jason looks around a little, and sees wet shoe prints near the fireplace. Outside on the terrace, Nikolas looks at his wet shoes.

Lulu tells Maxie that she doesn’t know how this happened; she was right there. Cassandra is at large. What if Charlotte ran into her? Maxie says, maybe Charlotte just snuck off to avoid punishment. She would have done the same thing at Charlotte’s age. Lulu hopes the worst thing is that Charlotte is avoiding a stern talking to and tough consequences.

Valentin tells Nina that the PCPD is incapable of handling Cassandra. He’s going to handle her himself, but he may need Nina’s help.

Obrecht tells Brad, she prays no harm comes to Charlotte. Brad says, she prays? She says, when the situation merits it. Brad might consider turning prayer. He could use divine intervention. Brad thinks everyone is overreacting. Charlotte is known to be a brat. She probably walked off. Obrecht says, typical. A girl who’s strong-willed and has spirit, is a brat. A boy would be considered assertive. Brad says Lucas is coming, and he and Obrecht can’t be seen together. She has to leave. Obrecht says she hasn’t had dinner. Brad is up to his neck in secrets, and expects her to keep them. Brad says, Lucas thinks it’s just one. They see Lucas about to come in, and Obrecht jets out the side door.

Jax tells Jason, the footprints could be from anybody. He has construction going on right now. People are coming and going. Jason says, none of it adds up, but Jax says Jason doesn’t think he’d help a drug dealer or jeopardize Sam’s freedom, does he? Jason says, Jax wouldn’t be withholding information, would he? but Jax says he’s told Jason everything. Jason says Carly and Josslyn are important to him, and he’d do anything for them. He and Jax aren’t always on the same side, but if Jax is in trouble and needs help, no questions asked. Nikolas watches and listens.

Nina asks Lulu what she did to upset Charlotte. Maxie says Lulu is upset about her daughter, and there’s no reason to start a fight. Nina says they all agree Charlotte probably took off. Does Lulu know the reason? Has she been repeating her allegations that Valentin is behind Sasha’s lies? Laura says, this isn’t the time or place. Nina says Charlotte wanted her and Valentin to be married, and Lulu disrupted that. Maybe Charlotte was talking about it, and Lulu scolded her. Lulu says they weren’t fighting. Charlotte was doing her homework at the counter. Nina says, so they were in perfect harmony with the family? Lulu says Charlotte asked to go to Windymere and check on Butterscotch, and she told Charlotte she’d think about it if she did her homework. Valentin gets a call from Charlotte’s phone, and asks, who is this? Cassandra says, who were you expecting, papa? and he asks where his daughter is.

Jason says maybe Jax would like to get closer to the edge, but now that he’s there, Carly and Josslyn can get hurt. Jax says he’d never put them in harm’s way, and Jason says, not intentionally, but if something went sideways… Jax says if he thought that was the case, he’d take Jason up on his offer. Jason hopes he means that. He says if Jax gets a lead on Cassandra, he wants to hear from him. Jason leaves, and Jax grabs something off the mantel and throws it, saying, son of a bitch. Nikolas comes in, and Jax says Nikolas took his credit card, and left a trail tying him to Cassandra’s escape. What was he thinking? He wasn’t thinking, was he? He’s an amateur. Give him one good reason not to hand his sorry ass over to Jason.

Obrecht listens while Brad tells Lucas that the initial theory was that Charlotte took off on her own, but Cassandra has escaped. She was spotted, and now he thinks they’re worried that she has Charlotte. Lucas says Cassandra targeted Sasha by weaponizing a virus. Does Brad think she was in there? Brad isn’t sure, but he was positive enough to ID her, so she might have been. It’s so creepy. Lucas says, it was dangerous. What if Brad had been in the middle of it? He doesn’t know what he’d do if something bad happened to Brad. Brad says he has no intention of leaving Lucas or Wiley. They hug, and Julian watches them through the door, all stalkerish, and totally creeping me out.

Hayden tells Finn that Violet is probably better off on a bed, and asks him to show her where the guest room is. He asks if it’s okay if he takes her, and Hayden says it is. He picks Violet up, still wrapped in her blanket, and takes her upstairs. Hayden follows.

Valentin tells Cassandra, he’ll meet her terms, but only if she follows his to the letter. Let Charlotte go, in public, in a safe place. Understand? He listens, and says, yes, he can do that. He’ll make arrangements.

Nina tells Lulu that her grudge has to stop. Charlotte loves her father, and she knows Lulu hates him. Laura says, that’s enough, and Maxie says it’s got to stop. Where’s Nina’s compassion? Laura calls Jordan over, and Valentin asks, what’s going on? Laura thinks it’s getting too crowded, and Valentin and Nina should wait at home. Valentin says his daughter is missing, and they’re being thrown out? Jordan says they’re being sidetracked when they’re in the middle of two active investigations. They should go. They leave, and Nina tells Valentin that she hopes it’s worth it. He says it might save Charlotte’s life.

Cassandra tells Charlotte, fate is good to bring Charlotte to her. She’s a great hostage. Charlotte wants to go, and Cassandra hates to disappoint her, but says she can’t give Charlotte back just yet. Charlotte says she heard Cassandra promise, but Cassandra says she needs to keep a close guard on Charlotte, so her papa is on good behavior. He’s a tricky one. Charlotte says Cassandra is a tricky one. She’s acting like Charlotte has a choice not to help. Charlotte starts to run, and Cassandra makes a grab for her. Charlotte kicks Cassandra in the shins, but Cassandra gets ahold of her, and says she’ll do as she’s told, or else. Charlotte says, or else what? and Cassandra says she knows how to hurt a little a little girl.

Anna appears, and says, unhand that child. Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?

Nice.

Tomorrow, Hayden has dreamed of hearing Finn say that, Peter doesn’t buy it, Jason has questions about Cassandra, and Anna tells Cassandra if she unhands Charlotte, she’ll let her walk away.

Below Deck

Simone wants to give Abbi a hug. Abbi just wants to leave. The guests go wild on the slide. Brian asks Abbi, what’s wrong? and she says she needs to quit. In her interview, she says it’s not the right job for her. The perfectionism and level of professionalism isn’t for her. She’s used to knowing what she’s doing, and everyone wonders what wrong with her. She cries, and tells Brian that she’s always so happy all the time.

Kevin checks over his menu. Mccall asks Kate to give everyone fireball shots. Brian tells Ashton that Abbi is crying her eyes out. She’s not happy with her situation, and wants leave. Ashton asks where she is, and Brian says, in her cabin. He told her to relax and not worry for the moment. Ashton goes to see Abbi, and she says she doesn’t like the job, and wants to leave. Ashton says she doesn’t have to stress or feel bad. It is what it is. They hug. In Ashton’s interview, he says he does care about Abbi’s happiness, and doesn’t want her to be there if it’s not what she wants, but in reality, they’ll be a man down. He asks if she’s leaving now or finishing the charter, and she says she’ll finish. In his interview, Ashton says, it’s not good. They’re in a remote location, and it’s going to be a struggle to find someone qualified to replace Abbi. Captain Lee won’t be happy. In the laundry room, Simone says, it’s like it’s raining towels.

The captain stops by to see the guests, and tells them he has a water park scheduled for them. It’s basically a lot of different water toys on a floating platform. Kate says she might need Courtney for help with the Thailand party tonight. Brian and Ashton are going to be shirtless servers. She wants to simulate the feeling of being on a lot of drugs. Ashton says he needs to talk to the captain, and Captain Lee wonders why this isn’t giving him a warm, fuzzy feeling. Ashton says he’s noticed Abbi has been feeling depressed, and she’d like to leave the boat. She’ll ride out the rest of the charter, but Ashton thinks they should find a replacement asap. The captain asks if it’s the workload, but Ashton thinks it’s just different from where she worked before. In his interview, Captain Lee says, it’s a classic example of writing a check with your mouth your ass can’t cash. You’re on a beautiful boat in an exotic location, and getting paid for what most people would do for nothing, and you think life sucks. Are you kidding? He tells Ashton, they’ll probably have to do the next charter short-handed. It’s frustrating. Ashton says, he’ll get on it.

Tanner feels like sh*t. He tells Brian that he just needs water; his mouth dries out in a second. Ashton tells them, Abbi is going to stay until the end of the charter, but then she’s leaving. In Tanner’s interview, he wonders, wtf is going on? Abbi is a tornado of emotions. She just got engaged, and now she’s quitting the boat. Tanner hasn’t eaten in three days, and feels like absolute death. He has to push himself to get anything done.

Captain Lee is eating dinner with the guests, and Kevin is nervous. After the last charter, the captain isn’t his best friend, and has him by the balls. We flash back to Captain Lee reading Kevin the riot act. He has to think outside the box, and already has an ulcer in his mouth. It’s stressful. Kate tells Simone that she’s going to the beach with the guests. In Simone’s interview, she says she loves to see amazing places, and loves getting off the boat. No more laundry. Hallelujah.

The guests head out on the tender for Railey Beach. They play on the water toys. Ashton asks Simone, what’s happening? and she says she was basically a laundry machine. Kate is trying to get her out of the laundry room. Courtney isn’t helping. Simone doesn’t think Courtney has ever ironed. In her interview, Simone says she’s feeling more like the third stew than the second. She thinks she shot herself in the foot. Just because she’s good at something, doesn’t mean she wants to do it the whole season.

Kevin talks to Kate about dinner. He’s making beef tongue. In Kate’s interview, she makes a face that makes me literally lol. She says she’s not sure she’d be super-excited to have tongue in her mouth. She laughs at her own joke. She tells Kevin that he’s a maniac. It’s an interesting menu.

Ashton radios that the guests are on the way back. Kate ask how Abbi is, and Abbi says she’s leaving. This isn’t for her. Kate asks if she’s sure; they only have four and a half weeks to go. In Abbi’s interview, she says it’s hitting her all at once. She’s letting people down, and needs to come to terms with it. The guests struggle to get from the tender to the yacht, even with Ashton and Brian helping. I’m not sure if they’re drunk or just really uncoordinated. Kevin preps the tongue. In his interview, he says most people would think it’s blech, but he’s done it many times and it’s delicious. I’m an adventurous eater; I’d try it. Simone suggests Tanner drink some warm ginger beer. He heats it, and it bubbles over. He jokes, maybe next time she could make it for him, and be a real friend.

The centerpiece is a profusion of sea/Thai themed trinkets. Kate says, it’s like a children’s room .She feels like she’s fifteen again. Tanner continues to be sick. Brian says he doesn’t sound well at all. Sitting in the sky lounge, the captain asks if the guests had fun with the water park, and remarks that Mccall has great color. She gets all happy over the compliment. Brian tells Ashton that Tanner is still sick. In Ashton’s interview, he says he has the situation with Abbi, and now this. It’s a big boat, and it’s just him and Brian. Could this day get worse? Bring it on; he’ll take it all now. He tells Tanner to stay in bed.

Kate makes drinks in buckets that have several straws in them, and mushrooms floating on top. She says there’s so much vodka and other stuff in it, they’ll never taste the mushrooms. In the captain’s interview, he says, the presentation was good last night – as it should be every night. Over the top. It needs to be consistent. Go big or go home. If Kevin doesn’t do that, it’s time to pack his sh*t and leave. The first course is a dish using local scallops, and Captain Lee pronounces it outstanding. Kate tells Kevin, they’re loving it. In his interview, he says he’s taking a huge risk on the beef tongue dish. All he needs is one person to be a loudmouth, and say it’s disgusting. It could be his last meal. It looks good, not like what it is. He visits the table, and says he’d like them to try it. He doesn’t think it’s something they’d ever order on off a menu. One guest asks if it’s a brain, and he tells them, it’s beef tongue. Another guest wants to know who put that on their preference sheet. They’re good sports though, and everyone tries it, finding it delicious. Captain Lee says, a little tongue never hurt anyone, and someone says, that’s what she said. In Kevin’s interview, he says he’s killed two birds with one stone. He got the captain off his back, and the guests are super happy. He sings in the galley.

Mccall asks if the captain has heard of ping pong shows. He says he hasn’t, but imagines it doesn’t involve paddles. I don’t believe for a second he doesn’t know what they are. Even I know what they are. Kate asks Ashton if he and Brian can get painted. In Abbi’s interview, she says it’s been a hard day, and she never wants to work on a motor yacht again. She’s going to focus on her passion, sailing around Greece with Patrick. It’s what they both want, and it’s all that matters. Ashton asks Brian if he’s had his body painted before, and Brian says it’s his first rodeo. Kate says they’re wonderful canvases. In Brian’s interview, he says being painted for a full moon party isn’t his vibe, but he’ll take one for the team. He’s glad Courtney got involved. He’d rather her paint him than Ashton.

Brian and Ashton help serve some kind of flan dessert. Mccall fans herself, and says her mouth is watering. Kate asks if Courtney saw the penis ravine on Brian. I’ve never heard this term, but she’s referring to the abdominal muscle that makes a V toward the pelvis. (Does that sound clinical enough?) Kate says she usually doesn’t like that kind of body (I say, what?), but that muscle is pronounced. It’s aggressive – in a good way. The guests applaud Kevin. Kate thanks the guys, and says they did great. In her interview, she thinks all men should get penis ravine implants. They can even have a small penis if they have a big ravine. She laughs again at her own joke. Kate is feeling her bad self tonight.

The guests go to bed, and the crew cleans up. The captain goes to the galley, and says, about dinner… Kevin stepped his game up quite well. He can find no fault with anything, and he appreciates the effort. Kevin thanks him. In Captain Lee’s interview, he says, Kevin brought his A-game, but the fact remains that the food has to be at a consistently high level. He hopes the trend continues. They don’t do mediocre on his yacht.

Kate serves coffee, mimosas, and breakfast. Mccall says she had a great time. The captain knows how to take care of his ladies. Someone says, that’s what she said, which doesn’t really work here. Courtney is on laundry, and Simone does the cabins. Courtney brings the ironing board into the crew mess, and tells Brian that she hates ironing. Kate checks on Tanner, and asks if she can bring him anything, but he says, no worries. Ashton asks Abbi to pack before they dock. She asks if he’s serious, and he says, after the guests leave, they’ll have a meeting with the captain, and then she’s off the boat. In her interview, she says, it may be impulsive and stupid, but that’s who she is and how she deals with situations. Well, I guess that says it all then. Good luck, Patrick!

Kate asks if she and Captain Lee can have a chat. He says what he needs is green tea mouthwash. She thinks that’s the least of his worries. She tells him that Tanner is pretty sick. He’s been in his cabin all morning, in the dark, in bed, and didn’t sound well. In the captain’s interview, he says, Tanner is sick, Abbi is leaving; they’re dropping like flies. He can’t afford to lose anyone else. He tells Kate that he’ll get Tanner a doctor. Brian asks what Courtney’s parents do, and she says her dad is in finance and her mom didn’t work while she was growing up. He asks if they’re still together, and she says they are. He says, very cool. His parents divorced, then his dad died. They said it was a heart attack, but he OD’d on drugs. Courtney says, that’s sad. In Brian’s interview, he says he didn’t have a good relationship with his father. He wasn’t a good person, but it’s given him the motivation to be a good father. His family has seen a little chaos, and he wants to give his daughter the life he didn’t have, and be there when she needs him.

Anchor is pulled. Ashton says Abbi is upset that he told her to pack and go. What did she think was going to happen? Free vacation for you? Abbi tells Kate that she doesn’t know where to go. They just put her on the dock, and good luck? Kate says, that’s the thing about working in yachting; you’re not just unemployed, but homeless. She suggests Abbi go to the airport.

The guests don’t want to leave. Brian tells Ashton, Tanner is still feeling like sh*t. The captain announces the final approach, and they dock. Kevin helps tie the lines. The crew goes to the aft deck to say goodbye to the guests. Mccall says, the service was fantastic and the food was amazing, every minute of every day. She gives the captain the traditional envelope. After the guests are gone, Captain Lee wanders around the wheelhouse for a while, then radios Ashton and Abbi to come there.

He understands Abbi is leaving today, and he doesn’t have time for this. Abbi says she doesn’t want them to take it personally; she loves working with them. The captain says he doesn’t take it personally, but there’s protocol. He hands Abbi her passport and her share of the tip, and tells her that’s all he’s got to say. Ashton says he’ll help her with her luggage. In his interview, Captain Lee says, what’s he going to do? There will be a lot of things in life Abbi is going to bail on. She’s not cut out for yachting; yachting’s not for quitters. Brian says he feels bad about Abbi being in a situation she doesn’t want to be in, but work is work, and this makes it more difficult. In Abbi’s interview, she says, the hardest part is saying goodbye. She knows it’s the right decision, but she’s still having feelings of sadness. She tells everyone it was awesome working with them, and wishes them good luck. Ashton hugs and thanks her, telling her, get home safe. In her interview, Abbi says, working on motor yachts isn’t for her, but she’s happy she tried. At least she knows. She’s getting married at some point. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she’s excited to get back on the sailboat.

The captain calls the crew to the crew mess for the tip meeting. He says as they know, they’ve lost a member of the deck crew. He didn’t get or understand it, but it’s not for everybody. She’s been compensated and she’s gone; they’re moving on. He says, the girls were great. He can’t remember the last time he laughed so hard. He says, they left a nice tip – $19,000, $1700 apiece. He tells Kevin that he nailed it; he was impressed with everything. He has a doctor coming to see Tanner, and depending on what’s wrong, it’s possible they’ll be two down. They’ll wait and see how it plays out. They know what they have to do. Let’s go.

The doctor arrives. The captain gives Tanner his share of the tip. Tanner doesn’t think he can accept it, but the captain says he has no choice. It’s the way they do things. Captain Lee says the doctor is there for him. The doctor examines Tanner, and says he has a viral infection of the stomach, and gives him an injection. In Tanner’s interview, he says he had what’s called sweet belly. It’s a common bug, and nothing serious, but he’ll never eat a cheeseburger in Thailand again. The doctor tells the captain that Tanner should be better by tomorrow, and the captain tells Tanner to get some rest. He’s glad it’s nothing serious, and Tanner says, him too. He goes back to bed.

In Kate’s interview, she says she hopes Brian and Courtney hook up. Someone needs to be banging Brian. He’s so hot. Brian takes Courtney out on the tender to go swimming. In Courtney’s interview, she says she’d like to get to know Brian better. She’s usually attracted to a guy’s mind, and notices their body in retrospect. She doesn’t notice until she gets to know them. Well, that’s just weird. I can understand it not mattering, but not to notice? That’s weird. Brian asks what she’d be doing if she wasn’t in yachting, and she says being the lady of the house. Back at the boat, Simone tells Tanner she’s glad he’s alive. He says he should be back to eating soon. In her interview, Simone says she was hoping to spend some time with him. Her parts have been ignited.

Captain Lee makes a phone call. He says he knows they weren’t available at the start of the season, but he needs them in Thailand in less than two days. Pack a bag.

Courtney says she heard Brian had a daughter. He says he does, and asks if she has any kids, is she married, or does she have a serious boyfriend? She says, no to all of the above. He says, no serious boyfriend? Isn’t she thirty? She says she’s twenty-six, and Brian is embarrassed.

Tanner tells Brian that his FOMO is off the charts. Ashton asks Brian how it went with Courtney, and Brian says, good. Ashton asks Courtney if Brian got to her. Whatever that means. In Ashton’s interview, he says Brian and Courtney have a little flower garden growing nicely, but he doesn’t mind competition. I hate to break it to him, but I don’t think she’s interested. Everyone gets dressed, and they take a taxi to a club called The Library.

This place is lit. It’s humongous, and the décor is what you’d expect – lots of books – but they’re not all on conventional shelves, some are suspended from the ceiling. The bartenders would put those guys from Cocktail to shame, doing all kinds of crazy magic with shakers and shot glasses. Simone says, this club is the one. The music is amazing, and everyone is partying. Simone dances with Ashton, then the girls dance while the guys do shots. Brian tries to convince Ashton that Kate would go for him. In his interview, he says Ashton can be a c*ck block, and he wants to flirt with Courtney. He suggests Ashton have another tequila. In Courtney’s interview, she says, Ashton is trying way too hard. Ashton sees Brian kiss Courtney (nothing real passionate), so he kisses Kate. She asks him if it’s New Year’s. Why are they doing this? In Kate’s interview, she says, no. She doesn’t want to do this. Don’t use her mouth as a receptacle for your insecurity and jealousy. This is why she has trust issues. She tells Ashton, she loves him, but not in that way. She goes to sit with Simone and Courtney, and Simone says Kate kissed Ashton; she saw it. Kate says she did not. She pulled away. It was like he was her cousin, and she was scared.

Back in the taxi, Courtney says she just wants breakfast. She has her feet over the back of Brian’s seat, and he licks her foot. She says, that’s disgusting. Kate says she doesn’t want to be a spectator to their foreplay, and Brian jokes not to make it about him when it’s about the two of them. Kate jokes back, just leave her alone. On the way back to the boat, Ashton says they’re all walking zig-zaggy.

Everyone heads to bed. Ashton makes a plate of toasted cheese sandwiches. He asks if Courtney is into Brian, and says he knows she is. She says she said no such thing, and Ashton says he’s saying it. Brian comes by, and Ashton asks him to get some hot sauce. He brings tangy barbecue instead, and tells them, goodnight. In Brian’s interview, he says when Ashton drinks, he gets way too involved. He’s pretty sure Courtney will pick the better man. Ashton tells Courtney that Brian is into her, but he went to bed. Brain is his friend, but that’s not cool. He starts not making sense, and says, wait. He’ll start again. Courtney says she’s going to bed. In her interview, she says she finds it astonishing that Ashton is thinking he has any luck at this point. She can’t imagine anyone having less of a chance than Ashton.

Back at his bunk, Ashton says he wishes they had girls who wanted to have fun and bang. He’s tired of working so hard to get his d*ck sucked (a remark that has come back to haunt him). Kevin says, these girls have standards.

Next time, beer bong, Simone is hit on by a creepy guest, a beach picnic, and a new deckhand that Ashton already knows. I can find no information on that either.

🍹  Have a Little More Brandy…

And Kate thought it was going to be easy.

https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/kate-chastain-captain-lee-rosbach-on-below-deck-charter-guest-brandy?cid=soc_tw_Bravo_BelowDeck_Dish

👠  She’s Still Cait…

I don’t know if this is the best choice for a comeback, but maybe the paycheck is good.

https://celebrityinsider.org/caitlyn-jenner-sparks-rumors-shes-returning-to-reality-tv-for-upcoming-season-of-im-a-celebrity-get-me-out-of-here-339502/

🏆  The People Have Spoken…

Not exactly my choice. The Kardashians over LVP in two categories? Please.

https://people.com/tv/peoples-choice-awards-2019-winners-list/

🍴  A subject line in an email I got today said, what your silver pattern says about you. I already know mine says, you got me as a wedding gift.

Flag: United States on Facebook 1.0 The Man In Black…

Salutes the red, white, and blue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apr25

April 24, 2016 — Hades, Houston, Headed for Baha, Shahs & Thrones

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hades and Zelena drive to a secluded spot for a picnic. Hades shows her the glittering lights of Underworld Storybrooke from the top of a cliff and tells her she deserves more. He says once his heart is beating again, he can leave and take her back. He says he doesn’t care about his plans anymore as long as he can have her. He tells her all of the heroes will be trapped in the Underworld when he leaves. He says he knows things are dicey with Regina, but it’s her sister or the two of them. He gets down on one knee and asks her to make chaos with him.

Regina is waiting up when Zelena gets home. She asks where Zelena has been. Zelena says Regina already knows; that’s why she’s there. Zelena says she didn’t say yes, but Regina says she didn’t say no either. Zelena says she can help Hades, but Regina says what if she’s wrong. Zelena tells her to stop pretending to care.

Back in the old kingdom days, Regina tries to talk to her mother, Cora. Cora blows her off and tells her to play with her doll and she’ll see Regina at supper. Regina opens a secret box that contains a wand. She points the wand at the doll, wanting to change the doll into a sister, but she ends up getting slammed to the ground. Her mother and father come running in. Regina is unconscious, but her mother says she’ll be fine.

In the Underworld, Regina tells the others that taking action against Zelena could be messy. She says there’s only one person they can trust to destroy the love between Zelena and Hades — Cora.

Gold talks to a sleeping Belle. He says it’s time for him to fix things, but he can’t use his magic. He says there’s only one way to save their child.

Underworld Cora is toting bags of flour. A guy who looks like his clothes are from Anthropologie tells her to get back to work. She pulls out a hook and knocks the supervisor and the rest of the workers out. Hook pops in and tells her that he wants his hook back and they need to get out of there.

In the old days, a little girl is using her magic to do some chores and her father is about to beat her for it. Everything freezes. Cora comes out of the woods and tells the girl that her father is wrong to make her feel badly for being who she is and that she has a gift. She asks if the girl would like to help her and show her father her magic isn’t wicked.

David’s evil twin, James, shows up while David is coming home with Underworld groceries. David wants to talk. James says David stole his glory and that he got everything James was due, and now he’s going to pay. David tells him to fight fair, but James says he’s already dead, so there’s nothing David can do to him. David tries to grab a sharp piece of wood, but James knocks him out first. James says David had fun pretending to be James and now the tables are going to be turned.

James as David goes to see Emma. She tells him that Regina is already at the rendezvous point and asks if David got Snow something for their anniversary. “David” tells her not to let Snow know he forgot and they leave.

Regina tells Cora that she’s trapped in the Underworld. Cora says Hades is the one who can’t leave, but Regina says with true love’s kiss, he can. She says Zelena thinks she can change him. Cora says he’s been there to long to be changed by something as simple as love. They have to make Zelena forget he ever existed.

In the old kingdom, Cora brings Zelena, the girl doing the magic in the woods, to help Regina. Zelena works a spell over Regina and Regina wakes up.

In the Underworld, Cora takes Regina to the River of Forgetfulness. One drop and Zelena will forget all about Hades. Cora tells Regina they’ll have to find a way to get Zelena to drink it. She says it’s time for Zelena to meet her mother.

James reveals himself to Emma and Robin in the woods. Cruella drives up, gripes about ruining her shoes, and slaps Emma “for killing her.” She says there’s only one man who can help them — Hades — but she needs the right leverage. Robin tries to shoot James, but it does no good since he’s already dead.

Cora shows up at Zelena’s Underworld place. Zelena says she doesn’t need anything from her, but Cora says let’s not pretend.

In the old kingdom, Zelena and Regina are playing princesses. Regina shows Zelena her mother’s wand box and Zelena opens it with a touch. Regina wonders if they’re related and says they have to ask Cora.

In the Underworld, Cora tells Zelena she’s been in a kind of prison and she had to come when she heard Zelena was there. Zelena thinks Regina sent her. Cora says she’s sure Zelena’s feelings for Hades are real, but she’s trying to fill the hole in her heart Cora created when she abandoned her. Cora says she’s sorry she gave Zelena away. Zelena asks why she did it and Cora says she thought it would be best for both of them, but she was wrong. She says she can’t leave the Underworld because of both Zelena and Regina. They hug and I almost believe Cora.

Regina fixes up a glass of water in the next room and Cora gives it to Zelena. Zelena says she’s imagined this day a thousand times and it feels like a dream. But in her dreams, the apology was genuine and Cora didn’t try to poison her. She tells Regina to come out. Zelena says neither one of them ever cared about her.

Old days Zelena and Regina ask Cora if they’re really sisters and Cora says yes. Regina says they should be a family. Cora says she’s disappointed. She says Regina can only depend on herself. She says if people found out about Zelena, all the things she’s been trying to do for Regina will go out the window. Cora has Zelena taken away. Regina swears to find her, but Cora makes them forget about one another.

Zelena and Regina get some fireballs going, but Cora tells them enough. She says if they should hate anyone, it’s her. She tells them it’s time they remembered. They link hands and Cora gives them back their memories. Cora says she thought that love was weakness and she was a fool. She tells Regina she’s stronger than Cora ever was, and she got the strength from those she loved, not Cora. She apologizes to Zelena for not giving her the family and love she deserved. She tells her not to make the same mistakes she did, but Zelena says it’s not too late. Cora says being there has taught her it’s never too late, especially for family and that you never stop being connected.

James has a gun on Emma and David at he pier. James knocks it out of his hand and Hook shows up. Cruella hides. James says he didn’t think David had it in him. David says they’re family and it doesn’t have to end this way; he can help James find peace. James says killing him is his unfinished business.

David and James fight. James pulls out a knife and ends up tumbling into the water where he disappears, poof! in a green swirl. Emma tells David some people just can’t move on.

Cora, Regina and Zelena are at the bridge. Cora says whatever her fate is, she deserves it. She says bringing the two of them together will bring her all the peace she needs and makes them promise to hold on to one another. She says that in the real Storybrooke, she and Regina never got to say good-by. Zelena says they never even got to say hello. Cora says she loves them both.

Cora walks out and gets caught up in a pink swirl. It looks like she got lucky with her last move and is going to a better place. She walks into the light.

Zelena says she waited her whole life for a mother and now she’s gone. Regina says she has another love to find and tells her to go to Hades. She says maybe Zelena can change him too. They hug.

Hades has the table set for a romantic dinner. I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire is on the turntable. Zelena is about to join him when Gold pops out. He says it’s her fault that Belle is asleep now. Zelena says it was Belle’s decision, but Gold says Zelena saw an opportunity and took advantage, like he’s doing now. Zelena says they made a deal. He says he had another deal he didn’t consider taking until she messed with him and Belle.

Gold introduces Peter Pan. He says Zelena is wicked but Pan is worse. Gold puts a sack over Zelena’s head. If I was Mr. Hand, I would say the people who write this show are on dope.

Next time, Emma says they’re going home, and Hades tells Hook and Emma they’re on their own in a land of no escape.

I Am Cait

Kris gets together with Cait and friends in Malibu for girl’s night. Cait says you have to be voted in and the girls okay Kris, who gets a special girl’s night bracelet. They talk about going on a ski trip.

Ella’s dad, Peter, is visiting. They get together for lunch with Cait and Candis. Peter is very supportive. Ella says he wasn’t as accepting when she first transitioned.

Cait, Candis and Ella get in the tiniest plane ever to head to the ski trip. Ella tells Cait about her father not being so supportive early on and Cait suggests she talk to him about it. Candis seconds that.

It’s ski time! Jenny and Kate are supposed to meet them, but the flight was canceled. At dinner, there’s a request for Ella to sing. She says she’ll do it if Cait and Candis kiss. (Say that three times real fast.) The dare is taken. Excitement abounds. Hmm…no singing though.

Jenny and Kate arrive. Ella tells them about the dare. Jenny says many relationships have begun that way. Especially if they star Molly Ringwald.

At breakfast, Candis reads something on her phone about Ted Cruz being concerned his daughters might get molested in bathrooms by trans women. Yikes. They show a scare tactic from a television ad. Cait doesn’t want to get politically involved, but Jenny says she’s a leader whether she wants to be or not, and needs to understand how urgent this work is.

Jenny tells Cait that there’s a movement to demonize trans women. Candis tells Cait she needs to be careful not to say things like referring to a trans woman as a “man in a dress.” Candis says the world grabs on to what she says and they have to show it’s okay to be non-conforming. Jenny says she has to fight for everyone, not just the pretty ones. Cait thinks of some rephrasing. She says the last thing she wants to do is create more stereotypes. Jenny says they need to send out the message that no matter how you look is okay. They joke that maybe they can get a TV show to send out the message.

More skiing! At lunch, Candis asks Ella if she’s going to talk to her dad when she gets home. Ella says they have a good relationship now and wonders if it will mess things up. She says the wounds that are there have led her not to want to pursue anything better. Interesting perspective.

Another fabulous breakfast! I’m gaining weight just watching this program. Jenny says she’s concerned about the hatred against the LGBT community who were involved with changing Houston bathroom law. Jenny thinks Cait tends to hide her head in the sand. Jenny tells Cait the Republicans are “her people,” and she needs to speak up.

Jenny says Republican candidates are stirring up fear-mongering to get votes. Cait says it’s time to go to Houston. Kate congratulates all of them for having come so far and being able to discuss things without a blow up.

Ella meets with Peter. She says she’s not trying to attack him, but it was difficult to look at him as the accepting father. He says it was hard in the beginning. Ella says she was almost going to get emancipated. Peter seems shocked, but she says that’s how hard it was then. Peter says it would have been her loss and he would have fought for her. Ella begs to differ.

Ella feels like he never acknowledged her pain and he says he acknowledges it now. He says both of them have blossomed, her as a daughter and him as a father. Tears, I love yous and hugs. Peter says he’s proud of her. She admits to labeling his love as conditional and feels she’s seen him for the first time. He says they’ll continue to grow.

Houston! These ladies must be so tired of traveling. They’re meeting with some ministers to talk. A lady named Mara, who is a huge advocate for the LBGT community, meets with the girls. Cait asks about her bathroom experience and says they need to visit some bathrooms. Kate tells her she’s becoming a leftist activist and this could mean arrest. They pass water around in the limo. Ha-ha!

They leave signs in the bathrooms saying a trans woman was here and nothing bad happened. I’ve always been all for unisex bathrooms, as I’ve put in my time in lines where there was no one waiting for the men’s room. And in emergencies, I’ve gone in the men’s room.

OMG – Kate is wearing a pair of round sunglasses with pink and yellow lenses straight out of the 60s. Jenny makes a call to one of the pastors on the list. He’s not there, but she asks if, as a trans woman, she would be welcome at the service. She tries putting Cait on the phone, but when Cait says who she is, the receptionist hangs up. Being fair, if someone called up out of the blue, saying they were Caitlyn Jenner, I might think it was a prank.

Cait says that as a Christian, she’s not happy with all the hate. Chandi says that the haters don’t look at it that way. Cait says her experience has been more positive and she realizes that there are big issues that other trans people have that she doesn’t.

As they near the church, Jenny gets nervous. She thinks they may be provoking trouble, but says they should go in with love in their hearts. We don’t see the services the girls go to, but apparently there was quite a positive response to Cait. Cait also had a discussion with a certain pastor about his public comments being offensive, something that Kate says no one has said to his face. Kate says that it planted a seed of respect.

The girls go to a Tex-Mex place for a meal. Kate tells Cait she’s seen a wonderful integration with Cait and Cait has earned her respect. Candis says she’s living proof that it’s never too late to make a change in the world. Chandi says it’s a shame that they can’t always pat themselves on the back and say “good job,” but she wants Cait to know that she’s done a good job. She says Cait doesn’t have to be the savior for their community, but being happy in herself is what’s important.

Everyone has kind things to say and Cait says how much she’s going to miss them. We flash back to different scenes from the past season. We see that despite our diversity, we’re not all that different. Cait gets teary-eyed and tells them all how much she loves them. Candis says they love her in return.

This was the finale, so there’s no preview. Since this isn’t a bunch of Wives at each other’s throats, I guess we don’t need a reunion. I hope Cait wants to do another season and the program gets renewed. This is one reality show that’s both entertaining and educational, and the more I get to know Cait, the more I love her too.

The Shahs of Sunset

Mike is meeting Reza at a cigar shop. Reza says cigars aren’t exactly his thing, but it’s time to get together with Mike. Reza says it was great to see him and Jessica at the party. Mike says he’s sorry about how he behaved, but he’s also tired of being on the defensive.

Reza says since the time they decided to work together, things went downhill. They agree that working together was a huge mistake. Mike takes full responsibility. Thank you. He says he’s gotten away with charming people, and doing the least to get the most. He takes the entire blame and my mouth is hanging open at his maturity. Reza says he’s finally a man; he just had a Bar Mitzvah and didn’t even know it.

Mike says he should come over for Shabbat. Reza tells him about the flash wedding plan. They do a ton of catching up.

GG had surgery to remove tissue from her tendons and needs the stitches removed. Shervin went with her to the surgery and is there with her now. She’s freaking a little while the guy removes the stitches (it’s not a regular doctor’s office) and I’m getting squeamish watching her reaction. I really feel badly for her, having so much arthritic pain at such a young age.

A few months ago, MJ had her eggs frozen. She thinks Tommy is the one who will end up fertilizing them. She says when she’s pregnant, whatever restrictions she has, like drinking and smoking, will be restrictions for him too.

Commercial break. They show what’s coming up, and I’m already rolling my eyes about Jessica giving orders in her too loud voice.

Reza comes by MJ’s. She tells him she’s going to get a semen analysis done with Tommy, and she’s all dolled up to take pictures for him to…you know. Reza poses her and puts whipped cream in strategic places. Maraschino cherries are added. He takes pictures with his phone.

They discuss her relationship with Tommy. MJ assures Reza that it’s not baby-making time yet. They’re just seeing if it’s a future possibility.

Asa says the only thing worse than her mom driving is her mom being a passenger. I hazard a guess that she’s right while watching her mom yelling at everyone on the road. They go shopping for some accents for Asa’s turban.

GG and MJ meet at a cafe. MJ says they haven’t been around one another much lately. GG has been getting her drink on a little too much and MJ says she’s been unrecognizable. I don’t know if I’d recognize her not drinking. The cafe is a dry restaurant, much to GG’s dismay, but MJ didn’t want anything interfering with the honesty of the conversation.

They talk about MJ’s relationship. GG thanks she always goes for the underdog. GG asks her if she’d believe it if someone told her Tommy was cheating on her. MJ says she has no reason to and why is GG asking? GG says she wonders if MJ will turn a blind eye like she did with some other guy. MJ wants to know what’s really bothering her. No surprise, GG totally overreacts and wants to run, although it’s MJ who ends up leaving.

Mike and Jessica are cooking dinner. This is another show that’s semi-food pornish. They’re getting ready to have the gang over for Shabbat dinner. Jessica wants to use their Tiffany crystal that they got for the wedding, but Mike is afraid something will get broken and he’ll get pissed. They argue over where to put the table. Who cares?

Reza wants to show Adam a house, so he gets an idea of what Reza would like to build. Adam suggests maybe he has some ideas of his own. In his individual interview, Adam says MJ is right and he wants his opinion to matter as much as Reza’s.

Ewww! this house! It’s like a concrete block. No, no and no. Reza’s outfit in his individual interview however, is a whole other story. He is totally rocking it. A gorgeous matching tie and pocket square, and an exquisite lapel pin.

MJ and Tommy go to the doctor’s appointment. Tommy jokes that MJ put an ad on Craigslist and he answered it. Seriously, he might be crude, but he’s funny and really seems to love her. He says he’s been practicing for this his entire life. Tommy goes to the room and MJ sends him the pictures. He comes out and everything went just swimmingly. Pun intended.

Reza and Adam are getting ready for the Shabbat dinner. Reza is going with the vintage Gucci. No, not old, he tells Adam. Adam tells him about MJ throwing shade at their relationship. Wait, back up a second. In the last interview, he was saying he agreed with her, now he’s saying she’s being shady? Reza says it’s one thing to disagree about the flash wedding, but another to undermine the plans.

Mike says the Shabbat dinner is like his and Jessica’s coming out party to the group. They have their outdoor space done up beautifully with chandeliers and strings of white lights, and of course the food is fabulous and there’s lots of liquor. GG is the only one not coming, but drama queen Asifa is there.

Asifa says she thinks GG needs serious help. Everyone else pretty much agrees. MJ says she needs to want to help herself and it’s not happening. Reza says Asifa needs to make it right, but her boyfriend, Bobby, doesn’t agree. Reza adds that GG has medical issues as well. Jessica wants them to stop talking old stuff and move on. Asa says they need to be more sensitive to one another.

Reza asks to speak with MJ on the side. He tells her about how she dumped on his plans. He doesn’t want her creating problems where there aren’t any. She tells him he needs to change his mind about the marriage. When Reza gets back to the table, Adam tells him he’s not deaf and he heard his name. Reza makes something up about how MJ doesn’t think they should buy a new house. Adam says it’s none of her business. Reza goes over to MJ and tells her in Persian what he said to Adam.

Once again when Reza gets back to the table, Adam says he knows they were talking about him, but Reza says he was just checking MJ. MJ tells Mike about the secret flash wedding plans. Adam tells Asa he can’t trust MJ, so she says, don’t.

Shervin lets the table know what MJ said about a surprise wedding and Reza acts like he doesn’t even know what she’s talking about. I don’t blame him. Mike says enough already.

The guys put on their yarmulkes. Mike makes a speech about how much everyone means to him and Jessica. They break bread. Mike says this is part of having a grown up life with family. Reza says it’s beautiful because some are Muslim and some are Jewish. As silly as this group is, there are many who should take a page from their book. Everything ends on a happy note.

Next time, Reza asks about Mike’s sex life, Jessica complains, a camping trip and a GGvention happens.

Fear the Walking Dead

A boat has capsized. The survivors band together in a lifeboat. One of them is not too well off. When it’s nighttime, one of the passengers is going to kill him, but gets stopped. Another says they’ll starve soon and have to find shelter on land. He says they have to consider what’s best for the sick guy who should be put out of his misery. Sick guy tells the girl, Alex, that it’s okay. I wish everyone would wear name tags.

Victor is trying to make a call. He gives his coordinates and says he’s on his way.

Madison and Travis can’t sleep. She asks him if he’s “here,” and he looks pretty worried. They start to have sex when a noise interrupts them. Travis jumps out of bed.

Travis suggests something is blocking the water tank and causing a problem with the engine. Madison wants to wait until daybreak to investigate, but Travis says the boat has to move. He dives below.

Yep, I knew it. Zombie caught in the whatchamacallit. As Doc from Z Nation would say, that explains the pull to the left.

Back inside, Travis fixes the problem, getting the zombie parts out of the system. Victor asks how long, and Travis says boats aren’t his forte, so it could take all day. Victor says get it done.

Daniel looks at Ofelia’s wound. He tells her it looks infected, but she’s says they’re out of antibiotics. She says she’ll ask Madison for help and Daniel says they help their own. Ofelia says they can’t just go to Walgreens.

Up on deck, the crew sees a bunch of suitcases that have washed up on shore. Madison doesn’t want anyone being put in danger, but Nick and Alicia say they’re going on a run for supplies. They get in a smaller boat along with Chris and Daniel.

Daniel makes noises about how it would be warmer in Mexico. He takes Madison aside and tells her how he saw the maps Victor was hiding. He suggests she’d have more luck than him asking Victor what his plans are.

On shore, they find tons of stuff, along with bodies and airplane parts. Daniel tells everyone to be quick. He’ll keep watch and they’re to fill their bags and come back.

Travis has to dive again. Madison looks to shore with her binoculars. She watches for Travis over the side of the boat.

Chris breaks away from the others because he’s a real genius who wants to get eaten.

Madison sees red bubbling up from the ocean and then the body of the zombie clogging the works pops up. Travis comes to the surface.

Chris finds the body of the plane. He looks for something to use as a weapon and goes inside because he’s a super genius. He sees a zombie wearing an oxygen mask and decides to take a brilliant chance in taunting it. There are other zombie passengers as well. All of a sudden what we thought was a dead body near Chris wakes up and asks for help.

Madison approaches Victor about where they’re going. She asks if they’re going to Mexico. Victor tells her about a safe place in Baha that he’s headed to. He has a self-sustaining property there. She asks if he’s going to abandon them. He says the real danger on the ocean is people. She says they have to go back to back to get this done. She tells him if he even looks wrong at anyone in her family, she’ll throw him overboard, but he says she’s not a killer.

Daniel finds some rosary beads and gets lost in thought. Nick brings him a shirt, but he says it’s bad luck to steal from the dead. I guess that only goes for stuff that he doesn’t want. Daniel has been looking at pharmaceuticals, and Nick tells him about different ones. Daniel notices Chris is gone and leaves to look for him.

Chris gets the passenger out of his seat, but he’s badly hurt. He asks for help again, but Chris doesn’t know what to do, so he just sits there. Finally, he gets up. He brings something over and bashes the guy’s head in. That wasn’t the kind of help I was expecting, but I guess he thought the guy was too far gone.

Daniel wanders around calling for Chris. Nick and Alicia are on the beach. They decide it’s taking too long and are going to follow. Nick finds a bag with drugs in it because he has antennae.

Back on the boat, Madison tells Travis about Victor’s place in Baha. She says it’s their best chance and they should trust him. Travis asks if they have a choice. When Madison says no, he says it’s not trust then.

Daniel continues to search for Chris. He sees Alicia running down a sand dune. She says they’re coming and to run. Yep, they’re coming. Zombies. Lots of them.

Nick sees a zombie in a sandpit. It’s unclear if the zombie is eating the crabs or they’re eating him. While Nick is transfixed, another zombie comes from behind. After a short tussle, he stabs it in the head. Oh crap! Tons of zombies are above him.

Alicia finds Chris. She sees blood on him and he says he killed a zombie.

On the boat, Madison hears gun shots. She sees what’s happening on the beach and says they have to move.

The search group gathers at the shoreline, but now Nick is missing. It’s a zombie free-for-all, with Daniel shooting, the others stabbing, and zombies attacking. On the boat, Travis is desperately trying to get the yacht moving.

The zombies back the shore group against a cliff. Nick comes out of nowhere covered in blood and swinging a weapon. Nickhas realized the Walking Dead secret of covering yourself in entrails to walk among them.

The group runs like crazy back to the small boat. They drag it to the water. From the yacht, they see the others bringing in a lifeboat behind them with Alex and the sick guy in it.

Victor is like, no. Madison tells them all about the plan to go to Baha. Travis says they can’t stay on the water forever. Alicia says they have to at least help the lifeboat people for the night. Travis says they can tow them, that way they won’t be on the yacht. Travis tells Alex they can give them food and water. Alicia is pissed, but Madison says it’s the best she can do.

Victor is stressed. Ofelia tells Nick that he smells like death. Nick gives her the rosary beads.

Alex tells sick guy this is the worst it’s going to be and that every day will get better. Nice try.

Victor suddenly runs past Madison and cuts the lifeboat loose. D-bag.

Next time, Victor has a gun, Travis doesn’t trust Victor, new people come along, Daniel also has a gun and says they don’t need Victor.

Game of Thrones

If Jon Snow isn’t dead, he’s doing a pretty good imitation of it. Ghost howls and Davos tells them to bring Jon inside. Everyone just stands around.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s the Red Woman. She takes a look at Jon. She says she saw him in the flames fighting at Winterfell. Davos says he’s gone now. I can feel the audience collectively willing her to bring him back.

The announcement is made to the group at Castle Black that Jon was killed by the Night’s Watch. Jon was considered a traitor for letting the Wildings in. The knight says a terrible choice was given to them by Jon.

Bron says they all die today and they should take Thorne with them. Davos says they’re not the only ones who owe their lives to Jon. Bron tells them to lock the door and don’t let anyone in until he comes back.

Creepy Ramsay gives a speech over Myranda’s dead body, saying her pain will be paid for a thousand times over. Roose asks if Ramsay feels like a victor. Roose chides him for losing Sansa. He says he can’t produce an heir without Sansa.

Sansa and Theon run through the woods. They have to cross a river, but Sansa can’t do it. It’s probably pretty freaking cold because winter is not just coming, it’s here. They manage to get to the other side and hide under a fallen tree. Theon hugs Sansa to keep her warm.

Hounds are heard in the distance. Theon tells Sansa the commander of Castle Black will help her and comes out to meet the soldiers. He tells them that Sansa is dead. The dogs don’t think so though and lead the soldiers to Sansa under the tree. A soldier drags Sansa out, but here comes Brienne!

She and Podrick have a swordfight with the soldiers. They must be good because they’re outnumbered and still winning. Podrick is almost killed, but Theon picks up a sword and saves him. All is quiet.

Brienne puts her sword beneath Sansa’s feet and swears by the old gods and the new to always protect her. Sansa swears that Brienne will always have a place at her hearth, etc. all the stuff they say to accept.

Cersei, who has a little more hair, comes out to meet Jaime. There’s a sad, longing look on her face. They talk in private. Cersei says when their mother died, she wondered every day and night what her body looked like now. She says she thinks about Myrcella’s body and Jaime tells her not to think about it, she’s gone now. Cersei talks about how good Myrcella was and Jaime says he failed their daughter. Cersei talks about how the Red Woman predicted the death of her children.

Jaime says screw everybody and that they’re taking back everything that was taken from them and more.

A sister tries to get Margaery to confess. Margaery wants to see her brother, but the sister says she isn’t to make commands. Jonathan Pryce comes in and Margaery asks how her brother is. He says he’s not here about her brother, but her husband misses her, and that sin leads us away from the sacred and only confession can bring it back. She says she has nothing to confess and he asks if she thinks she’s without sin. She says no one is and he tells her she has a long way to go.

Doran walks with Ellaria in Dorne. They talk about Oberyn. He says Oberyn was born to be an adventurer and he was born to rule. He gets a note about Myrcella and suddenly his guard gets a knife to the back.Ellaria gives Doran a knife to the heart. (Good-by, dude from Deep Space Nine!) She tells him his son is weak like him and weak men will never rule Dorne again. Alrighty then.

Doran’s son is faced by two women who say one of them is going to kill him. And one of them does. So much for that family.

Tyrion walks with Varis, who tells him he walks like a rich person. They’re pretending to be commoners. Tyrion tries to give a beggar woman money for food, but he’s not so good at the language and she thinks he wants to eat her baby. Varis translates better.

Tyrion talks about Dany and how the people of Meereen think she abandoned them. Varis says she did fly off on a dragon and not come back. Varis says the Sons of the Harpy take orders from someone and he’s sent his little birds to find out who.

There’s a commotion and people are running. Varis and Tyrion see a load of smoke coming from somewhere. Dany’s fleet of ships have been set on fire.

Ser Jorah is looking for Dany. Daario suggests that maybe Dany no longer wants to be queen. He asks if it’s frustrating, wanting someone who doesn’t want you back, and Jorah says yes. He checks under his sleeve and looks at where the stone disease is creeping along his arm.

Jorah finds a piece of jewelry in the grass. He says they have her.

Dany is bound and being led along by some Dothraki. Two of them talk about Dany and what they’d like to do to her. They get to the campsite and take her to their Khal.

The Khal’s wives are immediately jealous. The Khal says seeing a beautiful woman naked for the first time is one of the best things in life. He’s about to touch Dany and she talks to him in Dothraki about who she is. He starts to laugh. He tells her she is nobody and tonight he’s going to lie with her. She says she lies with no one. The Khal says he likes her and she has spirit. She says she was the wife of Khal Drogo and he asks forgiveness and says no one will touch her. He cuts off her bonds and she asks for an escort back to Meereen. He says she’s going to the place where the crones once married to Dothraki leaders live.

Arya is blind and begging for alms. The Waif throws a stick to her and tells her to stand and fight. She says she can’t see and the Waif says that’s her problem. Arya gets knocked around pretty good. The Waif says she’ll see her tomorrow. I guess Arya won’t be seeing her though. BA DUM CHH!

At Castle Black, Davos has a visit by Ser Alliser, who says he’ll grant amnesty to all of them. Davos says he’ll need food if he’s going to make it south. Alliser says surrender by nightfall, and they can take or leave the Red Woman.

The Red Woman is doing some meditating or spell casting or something. She gets nakey in front of a mirror and takes off her necklace. Argghh! She’s a shriveled up old lady! She gets into bed.

Next time, Cersei fights back, Arya fights, and Tyrion meets a dragon. Maybe.

Apr18

April 17, 2016 –Oz & the Underworld, Cait & the Dead, the Wives & the Shahs

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hook wonders what Red would be doing there, but all they have as a clue is a torn piece of gingham.

Back in the Oz day, Mulan and Red are in the forest. Red finds no trace of her pack’s scent and they’re about to leave when they hear a growl. It’s Toto! Dorothy appears and says that Toto only barks when he sees a witch. Red says it must be that she’s part wolf. She makes him nervous and he takes off. The girls start to follow him, but a wind blows up.

Zelena tells Hades to put his name on the card next time. He says she has a visitor from Oz. He says it’s a werewolf who looks good in red. He wonders why Red would chase her all the way here. Zelena says all the goodwill between her and her sister will be undone if Regina learns the truth. Hades suggests she stay and face them. He says they would be quite a team. She says thanks, but no thanks, her time in the Underworld is over. He says either way, he’s taking care of the wolf.

Belle is upset for not showing Gaston mercy and Gold tells her to stop torturing herself. He says she was only trying to protect their daughter. Belle said if she had saved their baby from Hades, she might feel diffrently. Gold says they will get their baby away from Hades.

Red says she used a tracking spell to find Zelena and now she’s made a mess of things. Snow tells her everything will be cool and the ladies all leave to track Zelena down.

Meanwhile, the guys find Cruella instructing one of her thugs rip out the phone that makes calls between the living and the dead. She says it’s not her idea, but Hades doesn’t want any hope in the Underworld. She tells David she’ll let him make a last call if they make a deal. David says no way, and she tells her henchman to rip out the phone.

The girls find Zelena and ask what she did to Dorothy.

In old Oz, Zelena tells Dorothy it looks like she picked up a few strays, meaning Mulan and Red. She says she was banished into the forest and is being kept from her baby. She asks Dorothy where her silver slippers are and she’s holding Toto hostage until she gets them back.

Regina tells Zelena to tell them what she did. Zelena says even she can’t help now and shows them Dorothy in a mirror. She’s put a sleeping curse on Dorothy and she can’t take it off. Only true love’s kiss can do that.

Zelena tells Regina it’s a simple trade, the slippers for her daughter. Regina says just because Zelena made one bad move — or thirty — doesn’t mean she can’t make a good one now. Zelena gives her the slippers and tells her to keep her pep talks. She says she hopes they wake Dorothy.

Regina gives the slippers to Red. Red asks what good they are if there’s no true love to give her a kiss. She says he only one Dorothy ever loved was her Auntie Em. Emma suggests Em might be in the Underworld.

Back in the Oz forest, Red seems to think Toto is more than a pet. Dorothy says when she got back from Oz, her family tried to get her committed, but her Auntie Em believed her and kept that from happening. Before she died, Auntie Em gave her Toto, so just forget the pesky Wizard of Oz story where Toto came along. Red tells her about discovering she was a wolf and accidentally killing her boyfriend. She says she eventually got control. She came to Oz to look for her pack, but isn’t sure the answer is there anymore. She asks what Dorothy is looking for, but Dorothy says she isn’t sure.

In the Underworld, the ladies find Auntie Em’s grave. Regina says leaving the Underworld isn’t so easy, but Snow thinks maybe they can deliver the kiss using the slippers. David comes back with the guys. There’s a lot of talk about leaving and who is going to do what.

Belle goes to see Zelena. She asks for her help as a mother. She says she knows Hades is in love with Zelena, but Zelena says Hades wold never rip up a contract even for her. She asks why she needs her help when she has the Dark One on her side. Belle says he can’t help and Zelena says she knows she’s not going to get her happy ending with Hades or anyone else. Belle is having morning sickness and Zelena says her pregnancy was sped up by dark magic, so she never had that. Belle is concerned that Hades will do the same to her, so he can get her baby more quickly.

Hook pours over a book of the dead. He tells David that the only information he can find out is that Auntie Em died in Kansas. Hook says David’s name isn’t in the book, so he can go, and that Ruby (Red) is his ticket out.

In the old forest, Dorothy says she’s sorry for calling Red “Wolfie.” Red says she kind of likes it and gives Dorothy the nickname “Kansas.” They hear something above the trees. It’s the flying monkeys! Red asks if Dorothy trusts her. When Dorothy says yes, she turns into a wolf.

Red as the wolf, takes off and the monkeys follow. Mulan shows up, asking what happened. Red turns back to herself and asks if Dorothy is okay. Dorothy says she’s just tired and needs sleep. She thinks it might be the poppies that made her tired.

In the Underworld diner, the ladies find Auntie Em. Red tells her Dorothy is alive and needs her help. She’s about to put a kiss into a jar when she dissolves into liquid. Hades says the soup didn’t agree with her, since he put some water from the River of Lost Souls in it. Emma says he wouldn’t be there if he wasn’t scared they might win the fight. He puts the leftovers from Auntie Em in a jar and says this is what happens when you try to help outsiders.

Mulan asks Red what’s up. She says Dorothy asked her what she’s been looking for and she said she didn’t know. She says she thinks she’s been looking for someone like Dorothy and that she’s never felt like this about anyone. Mulan is like, great, what’s wrong? Red says the way Dorothy looked when Red transformed made her think she was appalled. Mulan says maybe Dorothy just didn’t know what to say and don’t make the same mistake she did by waiting to make her feelings known.

Red goes to Dorothy’s place, but can’t find her.

In the Underworld, Red tells Snow there’s nothing else they can do now and says there’s no one to give Dorothy true loves kiss. Snow says maybe Red can. She says she knows Red and why isn’t she on her way? Red says love is a two way street and Dorothy ditched her back in Oz. Red says she’s scared and Snow says that’s a good thing because love is scary, and what you get back outweighs the risk.

The group gathers in the cemetery. Regina gives Red the shoes and tells David to take her hand. Hook says he’s removed Snow’s name from the headstone, and David tells her they traded David’s name for hers. Hook says the names can’t be erased, but they can be changed. David tells Snow to go to their son and he’ll be back before she knows it. David and Snow kiss. Snow takes Red’s hand. Red clicks her heels three times and they’re gone, poof! in a cloud of white smoke.

Hades shows Zelena a freshly bottled Auntie Em. He says Dorothy has no one and he knows how much Zelena hates her. Zelena says Dorothy is going to be asleep forever and what does he get out of it? He dumps the bottle into the River of Lost Souls and says other than Zelena’s happiness, nothing. He says she’s scared he’s going to disappoint her, but she says that’s a chance she’ll have to take. They toast to Dorothy’s eternal slumber.

Meanwhile in OZ, the Munchins and Toto keep vigil over Dorothy with Mulan. Snow and Red pop in. Red approaches Dorothy and kisses her. A wind comes up and Dorothy awakens. Toto barks with happiness.

Red says Dorothy left without saying anything. Dorothy says she was afraid and didn’t want to lose her to Zelena. Dorothy says Red came back for her and Red says she always will. They kiss.

Henry is done with another chapter of the book, and brings it to David. He says Snow made it back to Storybrooke.

Belle comes to Gold’s shop. She says Hades can take their baby any time he wants. She says they have no time, but she can pause everything, including her pregnancy. She has a sleeping thingie and is going to prick her finger and put herself to sleep. Gold balks and says he won’t be able to wake her because he’s not the man she wants him to be. She says he’s not going to wake her, her father is. He says that when he figures things out, he’ll do whatever it takes to get her back to him

Next time, Hades asks Zelena to make chaos with him, David’s evil twin comes back and holds Emma and Robin hostage.

I Am Cait

Cait comes to Kris’s hotel room. She’s getting ready to leave and Cait asks if she has a minute. Kris says it was interesting meeting everyone. She says she’s had some of her friends her entire life and always wondered why “Bruce” never had friends. Cait says she never felt like she fit in anywhere.

Kris says she’s glad Cait is finding happiness, but a lot of sad stuff is going on at home. She gives a list of all the rich people problems the girls have. Some of it involves illness, but all I can think is at least they can afford medical treatment.

Kris says Cait kind of checks out. She says she’s the greatest when she’s present, but when there’s a disconnect, it’s a nightmare. Cait says she doesn’t want to check out on their time together and Kris says she doesn’t want Cait disconnecting from the kids. She says when Kim brought over some of the clothes Cait was getting rid of, it was a sad moment.

Cait tells Kris about her new driver’s license. It says Caitlyn Marie Jenner and the gender says female. Cait says you can go all the way back to your birth certificate and Cait has done that. Kris asks if this means Bruce never exited and she was never married to him? Interesting.

Cait says going forward from here, she would always want Kris in her life, and apologizes for the difficulty and keeping things private. Kris says she understands how frustrating it must have been. Cait says that although their relationship will be different, it will be important. Cait jokes that maybe they can renew their vows someday. Kris asks if she gets another diamond, and Cait says she’ll want one too. They agree it could get complicated and expensive.

Kris says she understands Caitlyn’s journey much better now. They say good-by.

Candis and Kate meet for breakfast. Candis says she had cocktails with Kris the night before and was led down a dark path, which is why she’s wearing sunglasses at breakfast. Kate asks if Candis would like a family. Kate says to be open to different ways it can happen and that she doesn’t need a man. Candis says she has a lot of things gong on and she’d make a great parent, so why wait?

The girls go to a shellfish boil and pardon one of the crayfish. Cait tells the rest of the girls how the talk went with Kris. She toasts to a happy Thanksgiving, so I guess it must be Thanksgiving. Jenny brings out a zither and does a song for the group.

Jenny says Cait has changed throughout the trip. She’s taken responsibility for her mistakes and made a lot of growth. She hopes it doesn’t end when the trip is over.

Kris sends a gingerbread house to Cait. Jenny is impressed. Jenny is meeting her friend, Marci Bowers, a doctor who does gender confirmation surgery (also called genital reassignment) and is also a trans woman. Jenny says she’s never regretted having the surgery, but Cait says she’s uncomfortable with the topic. Jenny thinks Cait makes excuses and needs to find her truth and the words to express that truth. They discuss the surgery and different people’s feelings about it. Jenny suggests Cait talk to Marci.

Cait and Candis go golfing. Cait asks if Candis had fun on the trip. Candis says yes, and it made her think about family. She says that seeing Cait’s love of family made an impression on her. Cait says Candis should look into adoption.

Cait says the last few months have been enlightening, but gender confirmation surgery still makes her feel uncomfortable. She’s nervous about meeting Marci.

Jenny brings Marci to meet Cait. Marci says all she does is match up the physical with the mental. She says that probably only 20% of transgenders get it done because of the expense. Cait asks about the sexual experience and Marci says most are able to achieve orgasm. Thank you for answering that, because I wondered. She says it’s still the same music, but a different instrument. Jenny asks about those who aren’t sure. Marci says it’s personal and a lot of transgenders choose not to have it and are just as happy. Cait says she’s going to ponder it.

Cait goes with Candis to meet an attorney to discuss adoption. The attorney explains the different types of adoption. She says it’s the hardest to adopt overseas because you have to adhere to the laws of both countries. She suggests either independent or foster adoption. She says it will probably take more effort than it would if she was a 40-year-old heterosexual couple, but it could be done.

Chandi comes for dinner with Cait and Candis. Candis tells her about seeing the lawyer. She says she can handle the idea of not being with someone or being rejected by a guy, but doesn’t think she can handle rejection from office buildings, government and potential mothers. She says she’s been living her life as a trans woman for so long, she never thinks about it, but other people do. Both Chandi and Cait think she should go for it anyway. Chandi says she should go into it with an open mind and not think about the obstacles.

Scott and Cait go to get a Christmas tree. Scott says who better than a Jew to go Christmas tree shopping with?

Cait says one thing she learned on the trip was that she has the ability to check out and we flash back to her sort of ignoring Scott. Cait asks how Scott is doing with the holiday season. He says it’s difficult because he has no parents and he doesn’t know how it’s going with Kourtney, but he doesn’t want people inviting him out of pity.

Scott and Cait pick out a tree. Scott says this is the reason being a Jew is better — a menorah is much lighter. They put the tree in Cait’s place. The smoke alarm is beeping and she’s just been living with the beeping. Scott gets up on a stepladder and checks all of the alarms. Scott says when Cait was Bruce, she was angry and cut off, but now she’s a more open, happy person. It’s even obvious to me, and I only saw a handful of episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Kris drops by with Christmas cookies. Candis is there too. Kris says a guy came barreling into her office with a backpack and asked for a hug and a kiss. This is with security guards all over the place. He told her he had to go pay his Uber driver and she called security. She says he’s in jail now, but he’d been looking for her all over the house. Cait says half the time she didn’t even know the names of the people hanging around the house and Kris jokes that those were her children.

They decorate the tree and go through the various family stockings. Candis tells Kris about the adoption thing and how it has to be disclosed that she’s a trans woman and she feels discouraged. Kris says it’s discouraging in general, and gives examples of how it’s tough for many women. Candis says it’s not a trans thing, it’s a human thing, adding that sometimes you have to figure out how to move on and change your expectations. Kris tells her that she’d make a wonderful mother and she should go ahead with the plan

Next time, Cait goes on a ski trip, Cait and Candis kiss, and Jenny and Cait get into the Republican thing again.

Fear the Walking Dead

Some kids are on the beach collecting shells when zombies start to come out of the water. Since the kids are really stupid, they leave their shells by the fence holding back the zombies. Is this some kind of offering?

Madison tells Nick he almost got himself killed in the water. Travis has looked at the log book from the other ship and tells Victor there is no more San Diego. The military burned it down. Victor has seen a large vessel following them and says they have to hide. He shows them a cove on the map.

Travis hunts down Chris, which isn’t hard since they’re on a boat. He says they’ll be safer where they’re going, but Chris isn’t convinced.

It’s nighttime, and Madison sees a light on in a house. They dock at the pier nearby. Victor stays on the boat, while the others go ashore. Everything looks dark in the village, but Travis thinks they’re just scared. He calls out saying they just need information and they’re not sick or a threat. They just need help.

A door opens and one of the kids from the beach comes out. His father calls him back and says he’s just excited to see people. Madison says they saw a light and the father says it was an accident. Travis introduces himself and the father says his name is George. Travis says they just need to get their bearings and they’ll be gone; there’s nothing to fear from them. Well, yeah, the name of the show isn’t Fear the Living. Although maybe it should be.

Travis looks at George’s library and George says he’s welcome to take something. Travis says he doesn’t have time for it now, but George says he has nothing but time. He tells Travis napalm is being used up and doewn the coast. He says that San Diego was burned and the border has been shut to the south. He says the interior is not better than the coast, and basically half the country is gone.

Madison talks to George’s wife, Melissa, and they compare educational degrees. Madison talks about being a teacher. The older son, Seth, comes in and Melissa introduces them.

Back on the boat Ofelia asks Daniel if they’re going to stay. Daniel says they’d have to be invited. Daniel says this isn’t the world she was supposed to know, but she says understanding this world helps her understand him. She says it’s cruel. Ouch!

Harry asks Nick if he wants to see his room. Nick asks Chris if he wants to come. Chris says no thanks and Nick tells him he doesn’t have to, but it’s better to be with people. Nick sees a bunch of action figures with red dots on their foreheads. Nick asks what’s up with that and Harry says that’s what happens now when people are sick.

Victor wonders what’s taking so long, and Daniel says it’s not like they’re in a hurry. Daniel is concerned about being left behind, but Victor says he wouldn’t have taken them in the first place if that’s what he was going to do.

George tells Travis the world couldn’t sustain itself and this is course correction. He says he’s been studying Travis’s culture for a long time and talks about New Zealand. Travis asks if it’s okay if they spend the night.

Travis tells Madison that George thinks this is all part of nature’s plan. Madison says he’s intense and Melissa grilled her about her job. She thinks that the light was shone on purpose, even though George said it was an accident.

Nick and Alicia are on the boat. Nick says the best thing about the apocalypse is no noise pollution. Nick talks about how the kids have seen too much already and how things will never be normal for them. He says something is off here and Alicia says something is off everywhere.

Chris skulks around a lighthouse and sees Seth with a pickax. He asks Seth what he’s doing and Seth tells him chores and he can help if he wants to. They go down to the beach and Seth says they’re doing maintenance. He goes to the fence where the zombies are and whacks one in the head. He asks if Chris wants a turn.

Travis is looking for Chris. Nick tells him if he wants help, just ask. Chris is busy taking his turn at whacking zombies and it’s like he’s been doing this his entire life. Seth says they’ll come back again before dinner. Chris asks if the zombies can climb, and Chris says they’re pretty clumsy and he hasn’t seen evidence of it. Travis comes down to the beach and Seth tells him that Chris is a pro. Chris whacks one more zombie and Travis doesn’t look too happy about it.

Travis tells George he has a problem by the fence line, but George says Seth manages it and they go down once a week to get rid of the bodies. Travis says his son used to take out the garbage and mow the lawn. George tells him this is how they manage now and asks Travis to take a ride with him.

They go to the shore where George is fixing the fence. Travis asks why they stay there. George says he saw the map and knows the truth. Travis asks how he can give up, but George says he’s not, he’s fixing the fence.

Alicia wanders around an old amusement boardwalk. She’s wearing an iPod which is probably a bad idea. She signs a bird watching tour list. In the meantime, Nick scours the house for drugs. He finds something inside of a globe. Harry’s sister, Willa, comes in and asks him to come and draw with her.

Victor tells Daniel he’s hanging over him like the spectre of death. Victor sees that whoever was following them is gone and says they’re sailing with the tide.

Madison helps Melissa pick some peppers (not a pint of pickled ones). Madison says they’ll be leaving soon. She asks Melissa about the light and if it was an accident. Melissa says it was a mistake, but Madison asks if she was signaling them. Melissa says she saw them from the pier and had a strange sense of hope. She thought Willa and Harry might have a chance if they wouldn’t there. Madison says she thought the island was safe. Melissa says they’re just biding their time until it’s over. Madison asks if she wants to come along, but Melissa says she has MS and would end up being a burden, but she wants them to take Harry and Willa.

Madison talks to Travis, who tells her George is just keeping his family safe. Madison says that where they go next might be safer. He doesn’t want to take George’s kids on Melissa’s say-so, and Madison says what about hers? He says he’ll talk to George.

Daniel is looking all over the boat and finds a knapsack, along with a map and gun that are locked away. Victor is on the phone (?) and says it’s all clear and when’s the latest? He repeats sundown and says he’ll be there.

Nick is obviously distressed and Madison asks what’s wrong. Nick tells her and Travis he thinks George is going to “Jonestown” his family and tells him about the pills he found. He says he knows his pharmaceuticals, and they aren’t recreational; they’re poison.

Melissa tells Madison the kids will be down in a minute. She told them they’re going on a boat ride for a few days. George walks in while Melissa is explaining the kids’ different needs. He asks what’s going on and she says she can’t look at them every day, knowing there’s no future. Harry says something is wrong with Willa.

They go upstairs to find the little girl near death. Harry says she took her pill. Good job, George. She’s a zombie now and just bit Melissa. George makes Travis leave. They all run back to the boat with Harry. He asks what happened to Willa and Nick says she got sick.

Victor says children are dead weight and wants Madison to leave Harry. She says he doesn’t get to decide who lives and dies, and he begs to differ. Seth is suddenly on the boat with a gun and wants to bring Harry home. Madison tells him to come with them, but he gets aggressive and takes Harry. He tells Madison she caused this. What? The apocalypse? As they leave, they see zombie Melissa on the pier. Seth tells Harry to keep waving at the boat. (Just look at the flowers, Harry.) Seth shoots Melissa as the boat departs.

Next time, a possible trip to Mexico, lots of zombies and Nick gets into trouble.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

When I tuned in, both Ray and Michael were on stage and there was butt grabbing talk within 10 seconds. Apparently, Gizelle had inferred Michael was gay when he’s really just a flamboyant Australian, and Gizelle acted like the gay thought never even came into her head. Next.

When the men leave, they talk about Gizelle’s dating. Zzzzzz….

Moving on to Katie making out with her boyfriend at Ashley’s party. Gizelle claims she just asked if Katie was “on something” out of concern, and I laugh my head off. The only thing that woman is concerned about is herself. Katie says the only thing she was on was Andrew. Ha-ha!

Katie points out that Gizelle is the common denominator in many argumentative situations. Gizelle threatens to tell everyone what was edited out from some scene. I wonder if Andy is crapping his pants, since it’s probably something they’re going to use in Secrets Revealed. Gizelle says she doesn’t like when people aren’t adults and now would be the time to show how she acted at Charrisse’s house before the crab boil, but it doesn’t happen. We do get to see her talking about drinking some tea that makes her poop though. Gizelle accuses Katie of being drunk and peeing on the couch during some photo shoot. Katie says she wasn’t drunk, but she’s had three kids. Fair enough.

At this point, I’m wondering why I even bothered with the second half of this show.

In wrapping it up, Andy asks if everyone enjoyed the season. Charrisse’s husband isn’t talking to her any more, Karen and Ashley learned a lot about themselves, and Gizelle says the word on the street is that this was the best thing ever on television. She’s obviously the most delusional of the bunch. Karen toasts to moving forward in peace.

And I toast to this excruciating show being over.

Shahs of Sunset

Last we left the Shahs, there was a lot of cake throwing going on at Shervin’s yacht party.

GG wakes up at Shervin’s house, no doubt with a wicked hangover. Yep, she has one, and doesn’t even remember getting back. She asks Shervin if he had fun. He says he wasn’t expecting to feel this way and there was a lot of anger. Shervin tells her she’s not dealing with her anger in a positive way, which is the understatement of the year.

Mike is giving real estate a break and focusing on building a shoe empire. He wants Jessica to see his vision. Since she’s from a priviledged background, and he feels as the breadwinner, he needs to create more wealth. The shoes are pretty dope, but there’s a lot of footwear competition out there.

Asa comes over to Reza’s place. They discuss the party and GG. Reza brings up when GG attacked Asa in Mexico. He says they need rules and consequences. They discuss seeing Mike again. Reza says it was the first time they were able to get together with him and Jessica and have everything be copacetic.

MJ joins them. Reza says that he mentioned to Asa that he’d like her to get ordained so she can officiate at the wedding. He wants the four of them to go to lunch and have the meal turn into an impromptu wedding. MJ is like, no. She says it’s Adam’s wedding too, but Asa thinks he’ll be okay with it and that it’s romantic. MJ says he’ll want it to be an “us” thing and it’s Reza’s solution to standing him up last time. In her individual interview, MJ says they need to heal their wounds from the last time before the next wedding.

MJ brings her mom’s dog, Ziggy, to the pet stylist. Seriously, it says stylist, not groomer. She wants Ziggy done in hot pink and black, “the colors of a cheetah.” Okay…

Asa’s father and brother have been hired for the shipping department of her caftan business. She says the business is exploding and she wants to set up a future for her family. She says the idea of a family business is great, but in reality, it’s not so great. Believe me, I know. I once worked for a family business (not my own) and it was pure hell. It looks like dad wants to take more coffee breaks than do work.

MJ lied to her mother, telling her Tommy was just a friend. They’re going to pick up Ziggy and MJ wants him to go with her and her mother to dinner. OMG — Ziggy! She has pink and black cheetah print on her legs and the rest of her looks normal. MJ says maybe she should have thought this out more. Um, yeah.

Adam and Asa go for a walk. Asa says that he and Reza call her every morning at different times to give her their sides of the story. Adam isn’t sure if he and Reza should make another attempt at marriage. He says there’s been growth in the relationship, but he’s concerned Reza will call it quits again. Asa asks about getting married and Adam says he’s hesitant.

MJ and Tommy take Ziggy to the restaurant where they’re meeting MJ’s mom. Ziggy is wearing a Louis Vuitton harness. MJ’s mom, Vida, joins them and it takes her a minute to realize what’s happened to Ziggy. She’s pretty miffed, but gets over it quickly, which is a mystery to me since she’s the worst. Oh, I see, she just wants to move on to belittling MJ. She tells MJ she hasn’t lost any weight, which is so not true. She says Tommy is a bad influence with MJ’s eating. Tommy says MJ looks great and Vida doesn’t think he should have an opinion. This is when MJ lays it on Vida that they’re dating.

Tommy says Vida is her mother, she’s not going to marry her. Vida says he’s not a good match. She can tell because she has a gift for that. More like she has a gift for being obnoxious. As they leave the restaurant, Vida gripes at MJ about wearing V-necks because they make her boobs look huge. Silly me, I thought that was the point.

Jessica and Mike go to a smoothie place. Twenty-seven bucks for two smoothies? You’ve got to be kidding. Jessica tells Mike they’re terrible with money, which seems ironic since the smoothies were her idea. She says they need to get a house and Mike has some nasty stuff on his credit. Jessica says they have two incomes now, but what’s going to happen when she gets pregnant? She asks about the new business and wonders if it’s worth the investment, but he says he has to take a risk and together they’ll build an empire. Good luck with that.

Reza and Adam arrive at Asa’s for dinner. She has her patio totally decked out and it looks beautiful. MJ and Tommy arrive next. Asa thinks they’re perfect for one another. Wow. It’s a lot of food for five people. They talk about the party and Asa says GG has hit rock bottom. She also thinks GG needs help, but MJ says they should be telling GG this.

GG goes to a club with Shervin and his brother. I think it’s his brother. He’s always around and looks like Shervin. Do I need to mention there’s a lot of drinking happening?

MJ goes in the kitchen with Adam to refresh her drink. MJ tells him he’s with an alpha male and needs to have his voice heard. She thinks Reza needs ot be challenged and agrees with Adam that they should pace themselves. Adam says the thing that bugs him is that when Reza is ready for something, he just expects everyone else to jump on board.

When MJ gets back to the table, Asa brings out a birthday cake for her. Asa asks what her wish is, and MJ says she wants to reach out to GG. Asa says they have to get to the bottom of whatever GG’s problem is.

GG wants to leave. Shervin asks her what’s wrong. She says she’s tired. Well, she’s drunk, but I think a lot of her problem is the arthritis.

Reza and Adam go to a dessert place and I’m wondering why the clerk has two circles tattooed or drawn on his neck. They get some soft serve and talk about how they need more space housewise. Reza thinks they should make a plan of getting a new place and getting married. Adam says he feels like Reza forgets there are two people in the relationship. When Reza asks how he feels about marriage, Adam tells him that he made something that was special to him feel not so special. I dunno. I think if someone left me at the altar, we’d be done.

Adam says he loves Reza and wants to be with him, but he called off the wedding. He says sometimes he has to second guess what’s going on and he doesn’t want that. Reza says today would have been their one year anniversary and what does he need ot do for Adam to trust him. Adam says a start would be to remember he’s an equal and he doesn’t want to discuss the one year thing.

Next time, Mike and Reza have a talk, MJ walks out on lunch with GG, and MJ creates a problem for Reza.

Apr11

April 10, 2016 — Gaston Arrives, Cait Does NOLA, Potomac Reunion, Fear the Dead & the Shahs Return

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Belle’s father says they have a visitor, the eldest son of Lord Legume. Belle isn’t interested. Her father tells her not to be judgmental. He adds there have also been skirmishes that would be squelched by a match, but he’s just asking her to meet him. He introduces Gaston.

Gaston says it’s awkward and asks if she hates these things as much as he does. He tells her if she wants, he’ll go home and no hard feelings. Since he’s quite suave and handsome, she says a walk won’t hurt anything.

Gold looks at a Pan flute in his Underworld shop. Belle comes in and says she won’t be separated from her child and she’s decided she wants his help. Belle tells Gold to show her he can be that man, and that they can save their child and separate dark from light. She says if he wants a future with her, he has to do it her way.

Snow, Hook and Emma are in the Underworld graveyard. A cyclone is brewing and passes quickly. Hook says it’s left something behind. Suddenly, Snow disappears. Emma wakes up. It was a dream.

Hook tells her it’s the first time she’s slept since the rescue. They’re on a rooftop and see a signal. They go back to where the others are gathered, trying to get a spell off of the elevator that will take them to Hades. Emma nd Regina join forces with their magic, but nothing happens.

Emma wonders if a name is removed from a gravestone will the person be released from the Underworld. Hook and Snow say they’ll go with her. Regina says she’ll meet them there after talking to her sister. If Hades has a weakness, Zelena might know what it is.

Hades is stalking Zelena. Nothing new. He finds a daisy growing through some concrete and picks it.

Gaston is running the Underworld pet shelter. Hades goes to see him. He tells Gaston both Beauty and the Beast are there, meaning Belle and Gold. He asks if Gaston wold like a shot at revenge. He says he’s found daisies growing all over town because hope has taken root. He says when souls have hope, they move on, and he can’t have that. Hades says they must be punished, starting with Gold.

He gives Gaston some arrows and says it’s time for him to be the hunter. He’ll be hunting for the greatest prey of all — Rumpelstiltskin.

Back in the day, Gaston is impressed with Belle’s hiking abilities. She says she’s heard unflattering tales about him. He says he has a friend who enjoys embarrassing him. He says he’s spent his whole life looking for a woman of her substance.

He hears something and tells her to stay while he investigates, but she follows. He’s kneeling by an old hunting pit that an ogre has fallen into. Awww! It’s kind of cute. She says the ogre looks young. Gaston says they have to bring him back to the castle, but Belle’s afraid they’ll torture the poor thing and asks Gaston to let her handle it. He’s like, why not? and tells her to lead the way.

In the Underworld, Gold and Belle are going through spell books. He says turning darkness to light is a fool’s errand. Belle walks out. Gaston is across the street. He shoots an arrow at Gold, but Gold catches it in mid-air. Belle says there must be some other way to resolve things. Gaston says no, and shoots another arrow, but Belle and Gold disappear to the wharf.

Belle says thanks a lot for letting her know that he killed Gaston. He says Hades sent Gaston because he knows Belle won’t let Gold hurt him. Belle says they’re going to help Gaston to move on, not kill him. She says it weakens Hades when people move on, so that’s how they’re going to defeat him.

Emma, Snow and Hook are in the graveyard. The cyclone comes up again and Emma says her dream wasn’t just a dream. Emma says the cyclone has brought a monster. Snow asks what they do now and Emma says run.

Zelena is at the diner and Regina sits with her. She says Zelena’s daughter is safe. Regina says for once in their lives, maybe they can try acting like sisters, and asks what happened between Zelena and Hades. Zelena says Hades fell in love with her. Regina asks if Zelena loves Hades. She doesn’t answer and Regina asks what his weaknesses are. Zelena says as far as she knows, she’s his only weakness.

Hook wants to face the monster, but Emma says Snow died in her dream.

Belle and Gold go to the shelter. Belle asks Gold to break into Gaston’s locker. She rifles through Gaston’s stuff until she comes upon a book she once gave him. She says she’s Gaston’s unfinished business and that she can get through to him.

Old days Belle shows Gaston a record of every magical item in the kingdom. She says her mother kept it in case of emergencies. She shows him another book called Her Handsome Hero. Gaston thinks it’s a cheap romance, but Belle says no, it’s all the qualities a man should have. Gaston says he’ll read it and almost kisses her. She finds what they’re looking for in the book. They need to hold a mirror up to the ogre to reveal whether he’s innocent or not. Gaston makes her promise that if the ogre means them harm, she’ll let him take the ogre to the palace.

Hades shows up at the shelter. Belle asks what he wants. He says other than her baby? He asks her if she wants to make a deal and she says not interested. Hades says he knows she’s trying to help Gaston move on. He says he’d like the conflict between Gaston and Gold to continue. He says he wants he to let Gaston and Gold have their fight, and if one goes into the River of Lost Souls, she can keep her baby.

Regina joins Hook, Snow and Emma. She asks them why they’re in her vault. Emma says a monster is trying to kill them. Regina asks why they’re not fighting and Emma tells her about the dream. Regina says maybe the dream wasn’t literal and she has to work out some issues. Emma says it’s possible she thinks it’s her fault that everyone is trapped in the Underworld. She’s frightened that she’ll be the cause of someone’s death. Snow says she didn’t force any of them to come and that they need to face the monster together.

Gaston enters Gold’s shop. Gold is sitting at a table with his back to the door and Gaston shoots him, but it’s only a mannequin. Belle comes out and says so he would kill Gold. Gaston says it’s the only thing he cares about any more. Belle shows him the hero book she’d once given him and asks if she’s his unfinished business. Gaston says he’s tried to throw the book out a thousand times but it always comes back. He says it reminds him about how he died and it’s her fault. He says being a hero isn’t about compassion, it’s about having strength. Belle says Hades is the enemy, not Gold. She tells Gaston that Gold is her husband. Gaston says she always did have a soft spot for a monster.

Belle takes her father to the hunting pit. Gaston is knocked out nearby. He comes to and says the ogre escaped. Belle’s father says his soldiers will hunt the ogre down. Gaston asks to lead the hunting party. Belle says she’s coming too. She still wants to use the mirror in case the ogre was just being defensive. Her father tells her to go home.

Gold asks Belle what the deal was. She tells him he has to promise not to hurt Gaston. Gold promises and Belle tells him what Hades’s proposition was. She says she turned him down because she can fix this. He says he wants to be the man she needs, but it’s not going to happen today, and he disappears, poof! in a puff of smoke.

The hunting party goes after the ogre. Belle follows. They stop where the ogre tracks stop. The ogre is up in a tree and Gaston shoots it down. Gaston is about to finish the ogre off when Belle steps in. She sees Gaston in the mirror and his eyes are all red and crazy. She realizes Gaston tortured the ogre while she was gone. He says he was protecting the kingdom. Belle says the ogre isn’t the monster, Gaston is, and he’ll have to shoot her first. The ogre runs off. Gaston says he hopes she made the right decision.

Gold has Gaston suspended in the air on the wharf. Gaston tells him he’ll always be a beast. Belle comes running up and tells Gold to stop. She says she’s always known who Gold really is and that’s why she loves him. She kisses him and steals the dagger, commanding him to let Gaston go. Gaston grabs his bow and arrow to shoot Gold, but Belle turns toward him with the dagger, and he ends up in the Lake of Fire.

Way back when, Belle’s father tells her it’s war and ogres are coming. She says what she did was the right thing. She asks him if it’s occurred to him that their mistreatment of the ogres is what caused the rift in the first place, and not her mercy. He says his army is no match for theirs, but Gaston’s army could give them a chance. He wants Belle to marry Gaston.

Gaston comes in and says the kingdoms will unite (Scumps!), they’ll solve the rift, and they can rule side by side if she’ll be his queen. He holds out his hand and Belle takes it. She says she will.

Back in the Underworld, Belle tells Gold he was right. He tells her he’s sorry and he didn’t want this to happen, but she saved him and their child. Hades pops in and says the baby is still his. He says the deal was only if Gaston or Gold threw the other in the river, but since it was Belle, the deal is over.

A waitress brings Zelena a covered dish. Underneath is a dead daisy and a note from Hades.

Snow and the others hunt the monster through the forest. They find a wolf with a red cloak near it. Snow puts the cloak over the wolf and it turns into Red. She says Emma’s dream was a vision about finding her.

Next week, Zelena gets revenge, Mulan and Red work together, and Hades gets vengeance.

I Am Cait

Back on the bus. The girls are headed for New Orleans and Cait’s sister, Pam, is meeting them.

Kate says most people think that genitals make you a man or a woman, and it’s the first question people are most likely to ask. Chandi says she doesn’t mind discussing it, if it’s appropriate. Candis is like, your privates should be your privates. Cait says she has no idea what the future holds for her, but every person has a different way of being authentic for themselves. They each discuss what choices they made.

New Orleans! Bourbon Street! Jazz! The girls go out to eat and Cait tells them that Kris is coming by. Chandi says she’s surprised that Kris would want to hang around all of them when she’s still learning about Cait. Kate asks if Kris has been good to Cait. Cait says yes, but she doesn’t exactly reach out. Candis thinks it’s impressive that Kris wants to be around the whole gang.

The ladies are strolling around town and go into a bridal boutique. Candis wants to try on dresses. Candis says it’s an affirmation of what she wants. Of course she looks fabulous. Cait tries on something too and they take pictures. Cait says she’s been in three weddings with the most boring clothes ever and at last she’s comfortable.

Next is souvenir shopping. Lots of fans swarm them and take pictures. Ella says she keeps forgetting how famous Cait is and the reaction in public shocks her every time. Cait’s sister shows up in the midst of Cait dealing with the fans.

More food! I don’t know what pastry they’re eating, but it looks phenomenal. The girls talk about marriage, and Pam says when you have a failed one, you learn from your mistakes.

Cait’s hotel room looks like the cyclone from Once Upon A Time hit it. Jenny comes by and Cait sets up the camera. Jenny “interviews” her about seeing Kris. She asks when the last time was that Cait and Kris talked, and we flash back to a conversation where Kris told Cait she left her family “in the dust.” Cait says there’s 23 years of life there and there’s an element that she doesn’t understand. Cait thinks Kris sometimes gets more upset than she did when they were together. Jenny says her feelings would have been hurt had she been in Kris’s position. Jenny asks what has to happen for them to have better communication, but Cait says she doesn’t know.

The producer interviews Kris in the hotel room. Kris says she’s in New Orleans because she’s heard Cait has been somewhat MIA. Cait knocks at the door. Kris asks where the girlfriends are and Cait says they’re all having dinner later and then it’s party time. Kris asks if she’s going to need a nap. Kris says they were all wondering why they hadn’t heard from Cait, and Cait says they’ve been on the road for about a month.

Jenny and Ella goof around, doing a fake spin-off show with Cait’s video camera.

Cait brings Kris to dinner where she meets the girls. Everyone introduces themselves. When Jenny talks about being married as both man and wife, and wife and wife, Kris says Jenny’s wife is a good sport. Kris asks what’s the most annoying thing about Cait, and everyone talks about how Cait expresses her political views. Cait talks about meeting Hilary Clinton. Cait says she enjoys politics and it’s like a football game to her. Kris says that Cait sometimes gets “cranky’ (or would that be “kranky?”) with those whose political views differ from her own.

Kris says Cait is sometimes unwilling to listen to someone else’s view and meet in the middle. Everyone is jumping in and finally Kate says they outnumber Cait and don’t want to be perceived as bullying. Kris says they need that many people. Ha-ha! It does seem like Cait is being ganged up on, but she also doesn’t really seemed bothered by it.

They talk about Cait having stolen and hidden a key to Kris’s closet and Cait says she also had a copy made.

At dinner, Jenny and Candis joke about matching their napkins to their outfits. Jenny says she has an “unsightly white napkin” and requests a change. They talk about Kris’s reaction to Cait’s change from being Bruce. Jenny says her wife took it personally, and Kris says she did too. I can totally understand that, even though it isn’t personal.

Kris asks what they do what their man bits. Cait is appalled, but it’s a legitimate question. I mean, they’re certainly talking about things that are personal to Kris. Kate says it doesn’t matter what a person has, but Kris says it does to her. Chandi says all trans people don’t choose to go full on with gender reassignment surgery.

They talk about at what point Cait revealed herself to be transgender. Kris talks about how Cait told her about taking hormones in the 80s. Kris seems to think Cait told her it was for some other reason, but Cait says she did tell her she was conflicted. Jenny says maybe Kris didn’t want to listen, but maybe Cait didn’t fully explain either. Kris says she kept asking why Cait was unhappy and Cait would say Kris wouldn’t understand. Jenny says she wanted to protect the people that she loved and not cause them harm. She asks Kris if she knew then what she knows now, would they still have been married. Kris doesn’t know, but she says she would have been a good best friend. Jenny asks if she can’t be one now. Candis makes a toast to Caitlyn and Kris, pointing out that Kris is being very open in meeting with all of them.

They stroll around Bourbon Street, going bar hopping. Jenny gets up on stage to dance with Chandi and everyone is astounded, including me. I have to say, Jenny has really loosened up over the course of this trip and turned out to be more fun than I expected. Candis tells Kris how much her being there means to Cait. Kris says Cait is well on her way, and surrounded by good people.

They throw beads from the balcony. Kris tells Cait she heard Cait would like to date a guy. Cait says only if she went through with the final surgery. Cait says really though, she’s not worried about that yet. Kris says life is short and she should get a move on figuring that out.

Lots of fans outside. Someone keeps yelling “Bruce, go straight, “ and I’m confused at first, because I think it’s one of the handlers forgetting about Cait’s name change and telling her where to walk. I’m also the only person in the world who thought Brooke Shields just really liked her Calvins.

Cait feels good about the day. She says there was a little tension and thinks she should have a one-on-one with Kris before she leaves. I hope it goes better than the last one. Cait hopes she doesn’t resort to old, defensive habits, but is afraid if she doesn’t talk to Kris now, she never will. She goes to Kris’s hotel room.

Next week, the talk, Cait tells Kris she changed her birth certificate, Jenny says she’s never regreted surgery, and Candis investigates adoption.

The Real Housewives of Potomac — The Reunion, Part One

I’m cringing already. These women are rude AF on a good day. The outfits and hair are to die for though. Lots of sparkles. Gizelle has just about the biggest earrings I’ve ever seen.

Andy asks how it was, being thrust into the spotlight. Robyn says it’s still surreal, and several people have gotten personally attacked. I can understand why, although Karen says people were attacking her looks, and that’s just wrong. Especially when there’s so much else to attack her for.

Katie has no engagement ring on and says she’s returned it. Karen says she’s not surprised and Charrisse says she thinks Katie was rushing things. Karen says she would have kept and redesigned it, but not only is that just wrong, depending on the state, it might be illegal. It’s a gift in contemplation of a marriage, so if the marriage doesn’t take place, the gift is returned. Your People’s Court lesson for today.

They discuss etiquette. The discussion goes nowhere. Next is Karen’s empty nest and fabulousness, or lack thereof. We flash back to the same. They talk about her husband being the “Black Bill Gates,” which I think Karen has made up herself. They also talk about the non-gala gala that she hosted. There’s a bit of an altercation between her and Katie where Katie’s smoky eye totally wins.

Andy asks Charrisse about events in Potomac and she’s so busy giving her resume that she forgets what the question was.

Commercial break. For the record, Sultan Wok has the best crunchy noodles ever. They’re so crisp. Not like the cheap greasy ones that a lot of take-out places give you.

Is Gizelle wearing clip-ons? Hmm…those earrings are so huge, they might have to be. They talk about Ray and Karen’s marriage and I don’t want to know. It goes to the topic of Karen’s broke-down kitchen, which I actually liked. I thought of it as “retro.” We move to Andrew saying that Karen is basically an old bat, and Katie says it has nothing to do with her. When Andy says Gizelle is the word on the street, Charrisse says it must be a small street. Ha-ha! Good Lord, then it goes to how Andrew is missing part of a finger because of a car accident, which is somehow offensive to Karen.

We go down Memory Lane with Ashley. Andy asks about the restaurant and Ashley says she didn’t realize how difficult it was going to be. Which is what everyone says when they open a restaurant. Someone tweets about Ashley’s mom and her bankruptcy and why doesn’t Ashley help. Ashley says she does help and I thought it was pretty clear that she was supportive of her mother on the show. There might have been legal reasons why her mom didn’t want to be bailed out of the bankruptcy.

Andy asks if Ashley thinks the others are jealous of her. Ashley says absolutely. They talk about Ashley “humping” Robyn when they first met. Ashley says it was just silly stuff and they all need to loosen up. It’s brought up that Gizelle used the term THOT in relation to Ashley. Katie says Gizelle didn’t like Ashley from the jump. They go over Gizelle’s complaints when they stayed at Ashley’s house. Ashley says Gizelle is like Woody Woodpecker just waiting to pick at something. Andy asks if Ashley would invite them again, and she says she’d invite Katie.

We go back to Charrisse’s crab boil, and how she and Karen called Gizelle out on the carpet afterward. There is something seriously weird about Charrisse’s face, and I mean more than normal. It looks like she’s had Botox everywhere but between her eyebrows. They talk about Karen using “the help” as a derogatory word, and she says her first job was at a Burger King/Taco Bell.

Next is Karen’s birthday and how the birthday person must sit in the middle seat. Andy asks if Karen owes Charrisse an apology for creating a ruckus at the crab boil. Karen gives the old “I apologize if it offended you” and Andy calls her on it, saying it’s the classic Real Housewife non-apology apology.

Andy asks what’s up with Robyn and Juan’s relationship. We flash back with a bunch of Robyn stuff. Andy asks if Robyn would be jealous if Juan dated someone else and she says probably. He asks if she thinks they’ll get married again and she says possibly. She says she loves him, but she’s not in love with him, even though he says he’s in love with her. She says she knows it’s there, but they need counseling and more time to know each other again.

Robyn says she turned a blind eye to the infidelity, had enough and knew divorce was the only option. They move on to the friend who ripped them off and Robyn says the guy killed himself later on. Yikes. Andy asks Ashley about being unsympathetic to Robyn’s bankruptcy. Robyn says she was a little gleeful in passing around the information. Ashley says Robyn hadn’t been nice to her, but Gizelle begs to differ. And why that should make anyone happy over financial hardships, I’m not sure. Katie says it wasn’t cool and Ashley agrees, but Katie moves on to Gizelle making fun of her. Katie and Gizelle go back and forth. Katie says Gizelle is like a chihuahua on crack and we stay on this topic way too long.

Andy finally changes direction, bringing up the bi-racial business and, yes, the butt grabbing. Sigh. It’s brought up that Gizelle generalizes too much and even she has to agree. Andy asks about Katie bringing up that Gizelle and Robyn must be bi-racial. She says she’s tired of people telling her she’s not Black enough. Gizelle seems to think Katie isn’t proud of being Black. They make nonsense conversation.Katie calls Robyn and Gizelle Dum and Dummer, and Robyn keeps screeching at her to shut up.

Next week, Andrew and Katie’s engagement is discussed, more butt grabbing discussion, the men join the group, Karen calls Charrisse a snake, and Gizelle still insists Katie is on something. Maybe she is my grandmother.

Fear the Walking Dead

Great. I have to remember everyone’s names again.

Madison stands looking at the ocean. Some small boats are coming toward the shore. There are bombs being shot off somewhere in the distance and zombies coming from another direction.

Travis tells Chris, who is grieving over Liza’s body, to get out of there, but he won’t leave. A zombie attacks Travis, but Madison whacks it in the head. Travis beats another zombie’s head in with a rock. So much for pacifism.

They get into the boats with zombies still trailing them. A zombie gets his head chopped up by a boat propeller. Nice. They all watch as the world they knew goes up in flames. And zombies. Beautiful shot of the skyline.

Everyone gets on Victor’s yacht, where he says they can survive for quite some time. They hear a bunch of yelling and see a small boat crammed with people. Madison tells Victor about it and he says there’s nothing he can do. Travis tells Alicia to go inside and listen to the radio.

Victor says they have to avoid everyone and everything. Madison tells him to stop the boat. Victor says if he does that, it’s going to be to drop folks off, not take them on. Victor guns the boat.

Alicia is hearing horrible broadcasts from other people on the water. Even the Coast Guard station is saying it’s hopeless.

Nick tells Victor he should have stopped. Victor says they already had this conversation in the pen. Nick asks what if San Diego doesn’t work out and Victor says they’ll have to wing it.

Alicia asks Madison how they know San Diego will be safe, but Madison has no answer. Travis tells Madison that Chris is just staring at the body and he doesn’t know what to do. Madison is still stuck on how they should have stopped. Travis says they’re no good if they can’t protect their own family and that’s what they need to focus on.

Alicia finds depressing music on the radio. She hears someone saying their alive and to give a shout out if they are too. They keep asking if someone is there, and Alicia has the mic in her hand, but says nothing. The voice says please say something and she says she’s there.

Chris won’t leave Liza’s corpse. He finally goes on deck and joins Daniel who’s fishing. Daniel tells him sorry about his mother and Chris says sorry about Daniel’s wife. He says neither one of them got to say good-by. Daniel catches an eel. He says not pretty, but the meat is good.

Nick asks Ofelia if she needs help with her bandage, but she says she can manage. He gives her some first aid tips including drinking lots of vodka.

Alicia is talking to the guy on the radio. She asks if it’s safe where they are. He says he thinks so. They’re in a cove, but he doesn’t want to say where. She says she understands. He asks where she was when it happened and Alicia spaces out. She says it was over before she knew it started.She asks if he lost anyone.

Travis asks Daniel how Chris is. Daniel says you don’t talk when you fish. He says one day Chris will understand what Travis did to his mother was mercy.

Madison searches the horizon with binoculars. She goes inside and finds the wheelhouse empty. She finds Victor and tells him someone is playing music out there. He says sounds can be strange on the water. She tells him he can sleep; she won’t throw him overboard. She asks if they’re all clear and he says almost. She says they should get rid of her. I assume she means Liza.

The guy on the radio talks about going to paradise. Alicia asks if they have water and he says a little bit. She says they have some kind of system. He asks if they could make Hawaii.

Madison asks Daniel what comes next. He says if this is the end of the world, it’s already over. She asks if he’s seen Victor sleep and Daniel says he doesn’ seem to need any. Madison says Victor hasn’t lied, so why doesn’t Daniel trust him? Daniel says he was packing his bags before anything happened. Madison says they should watch him and Daniel says he’s already been doing that.

Radio dude says it’s just him, his brother and his sister-in-law. He had a girlfriend, but lost her. Radio dude says his name is Jack.

Liza gets a burial at sea. Travis makes a big speech. He tries to be funny and it goes over like a lead balloon and crickets chirp. Chris ejects Liza into the water and storms off. Travis wants to talk to Chris. Chris is angry at Travis shooting Liza and doesn’t want to hear it. Travis leaves Chris alone and goes back with the others.

Something is happening to Jack. He says they’re taking on water and asks how close Alicia is to Catalina. Alicia tells Travis that someone is in trouble. Victor overhears and asks if Alicia told him anything. She says nothing important. Victor says the rules of the boat are, it’s his boat, and if it wasn’t for him, they’d all still be on land.

Nick tells Victor that Alicia is just trying to help. He says she’s helping people who don’t matter to them. Victor asks Nick if he was afraid of dying when he used. Nick says no, that’s part of being an addict and Victor says that his fearlessness has value in this world.

Chris and Travis have an altercation that gets physical. Madison tries to talk to Chris. She says it’s okay to be angry and tells him that when she was 13, she hit her father, but it didn’t end well. She tells him he needs to eat. She knows it hurts and it doesn’t go away, but what happened, had to. She says if his father hadn’t done it, she would have because she would never let that happen to someone she loved.

Everyone gathers for dinner. It’s just like Below Deck. Almost. I keep wondering what Alicia did tell that guy. Chris comes out, but goes to the deck. He sees smoke on the water and I think of Deep Purple. There’s a splash and Nick runs out and dives into the water after Chris. He grabs Chris. Chris says he just wanted to swim. Chris dives down. Looking for Liza?

Alicia tells Jack they can’t come; it’s too dangerous. He says okay, he gets her, and he’ll see her soon. Yeah, I thought so. Jack is up to no good. Victor sees something coming toward them on the sonar or radar or whatever you call it.

WTF? Chris and Nick. They keep twirling around in the water. Uh-oh. There’s a zombie with them. Would zombies float or sink? How does that work? Nick gets to the surface. The smoke has cleared and there’s an overturned boat in the distance with stuff and bodies on the water surrounding it. Chris gets back in the boat, but Nick is underneath the overturned boat. It looks like there are bullet holes in the hull. Nick takes the yacht log, but gets attacked by a zombie. For whatever reason, the zombie backs off and Nick swims out from under the boat.

Whatever Victor is seeing, the news isn’t good. He tells everyone they’re going to be leaving. Someone is joining them. He says it could be no one or it could be the ones who did that, pointing at the destroyed boat.

Travis brings Nick back in a lifeboat. Madison says whoever did that is coming back.

Next week, the gang battles the zombies on land, and try to start over.

The Shahs of Sunset

I am so glad this show is back! It’s one of my favorites. I love Reza so much!

Reza says when he came back from Thailand, everything was painful, but Adam stuck around. With therapy, they talked and communicated, and made the relationship work. He and Adam are having breakfast. There’s some sex talk and I go ♫ La-la-la! ♫

MJ’s place is a mess. New Dog Tila has joined Julio, and there’s also a boyfriend named Tommy. They met on social media. MJ wants to purge her closet. She wants to create space in her heart and mind for future cohabitation with Tommy. They are going through her shoes, which are plentiful, but I’m no one to talk. Although I don’t think we shop at the same shoe stores.

Mike and Jessica are still married at this point. Mike is having a hard time though, asking permission for every fart he blows. He and Jessica are on a hike that looks pretty daunting. Mike tells Jessica about new guy Shervin renting a yacht for his birthday. He wants to make sure she’s okay with being around the group. He says they’re willing to bury the hatchet. Jessica hopes that GG can get past her craziness, and if that can happen, she’s on board.

GG visits Asa bearing Stella Artois. Asa is starting a line of caftans. They are really beautiful. She says she wants to bring back old Hollywood glamour.

GG was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. She says she’s at a weird place where she can be crying one minute and yelling the next. Asa brings up Shervin’s birthday party. GG says she still has unresolved feelings with Jessica. Asa says they need to forgive each other. A dragonfly comes by and Asa says it’s an omen.

Mike and Jessica meet with the photographer. Mike says his wedding night was the best night of his life. The photographer quotes them $1500 for the album and Mike says some people spend that on their whole wedding. While it was quite the extravagant operation, I think he’s wrong about that and I was surprised that the price of the photography is so low. I had a friend take photos, so my price was nothing, but still. We get a glimpse into the wedding through the video. It would have been nice to see more of that.

Asa and Reza are shopping at Jonathan Adler. Reza is looking for some stuff for his new house. Reza tells Asa that he and Adam are in a much better place and ready to get married. He says he’d like her to do whatever is necessary for her to officiate at the ceremony. He wants to have everyone out for a weekend at the new house and have a surprise ceremony. Asa is thrilled.

New guy Shervin is GG’s cousin Nima’s best friend. Before the yacht party, the three get together and have a toast to Shervin’s birthday. It’s going to be a white party, so they dress accordingly.

Mike tells Jessica he’s all for her voicing her opinion, but he wants to bridge the gap. Jessica says she’s ready to move on, but she’s not going to be fake. She adds that GG is a loose canon and you never know what you’re going to get.

Reza, Asa and MJ go in the same limo and stop a million times along the way. MJ also recreates her dress that she’s discovered is uncomfortable. Reza says he doesn’t have anxiety about seeing Mike and Jessica, but that they are going to be trapped on a boat with alcohol.

Everything seems to be going well. The boat leaves and Shervin isn’t on it. No GG either. I think he’s going to make some kind of entrance. Mike tries to call, but it goes to voicemail. Yep, here comes a helicopter.

The helicopter lands on the deck. GG is also in it. There’s a deck pool! With a mermaid in it! It’s amazing and I cry because my invitation got lost in the email. GG and Mike’s meeting is cautious, but goes well. Mike tells Reza that they need to find time to sit down together on another day. Reza says he’ll be glad to move forward, but he doesn’t want to rehash old stuff..

The drinks are flowing. Shervin asks GG what’s up with Jessica. They haven’t spoken yet and Shervin wants to call her over. He says he has a gift for making amends. Good luck with that. He has Jessica sit down with GG.

Jessica says she’s been wanting to talk to GG, but wasn’t sure when the right time would be. She says she was shocked when GG let fly about Mike trying to sleep with her. She says they’re married now and she doesn’t care, but at the time, she ended up looking like the crazy one. GG starts to talk, but Reza comes by and GG doesn’t want an audience. GG says thanks a lot to Reza.

More drinking! There’s lots of fabulous food, but I don’t know how much is being eaten. Mike suggests GG has a drinking problem, but that’s a bit of the pot calling the Shah black. Shervin is sure that his birthday has brought everyone together in love, peace and harmony, when really they’re just drunk.

Reza makes a toast, saying how they’re all family and his people are together. He’s quite inibriated and throws some of the birthday cake and some lands on Asifa’s dress. More cake gets thrown and Asifa accuses GG of throwing it on her. Asifa goes past GG and smears cake on her. GG gets pissed about Asifa touching her, pushes Asifa and tells her to take a swim. Cake is everywhere and Reza thinks both girls need some help. Ha-ha-ha! He started it!

GG is pretty smashed and gets another drink. Everybody seems concerned about her. She’s also shoving a sub sandwich in her face. Everyone debarks.

Next week, GG stays at Shervin’s, Jessica says she and Mike can’t seem to hold on to a dollar and MJ’s mother hates her boyfriend. No surprise.

Apr4

April 3, 2016 — The Land of Oz, the Dead Finale, Cait, Atlanta & Potomac

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Back in the Land of Oz, Zelena looks into her magic mirror and sees her mother, Rose MacGowan, giving her away as a baby. The computer generated Scarecrow drops in. Zelena needs some things for her time travel spell — innocence, love, courage and wisdom. She’s thinking of starting with the Scarecrow’s brain for wisdom, but Dorothy storms in.

Dorothy says she has the most powerful weapon of all, the love of the people. Zelena is about to throw a green fireball at her, when Toto, who is used to this gig, brings down the curtain — on Zelena’s head.

Hades tries to hurry Gold up, but he says the magic can’t be rushed. Hades wants a portal to Storybrooke and he wants it now.

Back in Storybrooke, Belle is tending to Zelena’s baby with Mother Superior’s help. Except Mother Superior is really Zelena who’s come for her baby.

Gold asks Hades what he wants with Zelena’s child. Hades isn’t talking though. He says just get him the baby, he’ll rip up the contract, and Gold’s second born child will belong to Gold and Belle again.

Zelena picks up the baby. The real Mother Superior draws a weapon, but Zelena thinks she’s bluffing. Gold is putting some of his own blood in the cauldron and all of a sudden a portal opens up in the middle of the room. No baby though.

Belle, Zelena and the baby are in the middle of nowhere. A nowhere with a red sky. Zelena recognizes it as the Underworld. Zelena says they’re here because of her, and that Hades wants her baby. She begs Belle to hand the baby over, but while Zelena is incapacitated, Belle jets.

In past Oz, Zelena pressures the Munchkins as to the Scarecrow’s whereabouts. Hades drops in and she asks who the hell he is, which he says is a more appropriate question than she knows. He says her handiwork has impressed him and he’s heard a rumor she’s dabbling in time travel. Zelena says she would have had the brain from the Scarecrow if it hadn’t been for Dorothy. Hades wants to help her out, but she wonders why he’d want a time travel spell. He won’t tell her and she says she doesn’t need his help.

Snow and David are at the Underworld diner. Snow is fretting about Neil. The proprietress tells them they can speak to him; it’s just a simple haunting. She has David breathe into a tube as payment because the breath of the living brings a nice price on the black market. She tells them to go down the street to the phone booth and tell the operator who they’d like to haunt. Doesn’t the diner have a phone? I guess the Underworld is the only place with a public phone now.

Henry has written some more story, but doesn’t remember writing it. Everyone has their ideas and he suggests maybe they’d like to write it themselves. Zelena knocks at the door. Regina asks if she’s dead, but she says she came through the portal along with her baby, who’s in danger.

Hades shows up at Zelena’s place in old Oz. He tells her he can help; he wasn’t just blowing smoke. He says he knows she’s thinking about her sister, who got everything while she didn’t. He says he gets it, because his brother Zeus put him in the same position. All he was left with was anger and a thirst for vengeance, and only true love’s kiss can free him. Zelena says she can give him a run for his money and he says that’s why they have to find the ingredients. He says he can find the scarecrow and if he can travel back in time, he’ll be the one on Olympus while his brother suffers.

Robin says he can track anyone and will find the baby. Belle takes the baby into a library. An elevator opens and Gold comes out. He asks what she’s doing there and if she’s dead. She says no, she’s there with Zelena. He says that explains why the spell didn’t work — it brought all three of them. He explains about the deal he made with Hades. Belle is surprised to find out she’s pregnant, with a baby that Gold already sold. He says that can be fixed and she’s upset that he’s the Dark One again.

He takes out the dagger and says he loves it, but he loves Belle too. He says he’s sorry though, but this is who he is. He doesn’t want to let the power go again. Belle asks not even for her? He says falling in love with the man behind the beast wasn’t what she did. She fell in love with the man and the beast, and one doesn’t exist without the other. She says she can’t deal with it, and he says she just has to choose to, and they can have a family and happiness. She says she doesn’t want to make any choices until he fixes things and she’s back in Storybrooke.

There’s a pretty long line for the phone booth.

Zelena asks what they named the baby. Robin says he’s been too busy protecting her to name her. Regina says she was like Zelena once, but her enemies became her family and now she’s happy. She says that when family needs your help, you step up. Zelena says her family does need her help — her daughter is her family.

Back in the day, Hades and Zelena go to the forest where he brings out a bicycle. He tells her to get on it with him and they ride through the forest. She says it’s like a broom with wheels. They take a tumble and get a little flirty. She asks how the bike is going to help. Hades says the bike is enchanted and belongs to Dorothy. It will take them to the Scarecrow.

Belle, carrying the baby, meets the others in the woods. Belle wonders what Zelena is doing here. Belle says Zelena stole the baby, but Zelena says it’s her baby. The baby starts to cry and Zelena wants to feed her. Robin says she’d better give the baby back when she’s done. Zelena gives the baby a bottle, but refuses to return her.

Snow and David join the others. They’re not sure if there was actual communication or the dead just hear their voices.

Zelena tries to calm the baby, but her magic won’t work.

Old days Hades and Zelena ride to a cabin where Dorothy and the Scarecrow are. Dorothy tries to intervene, but Zelena gets the Scarecrow’s brain. Zelena says she’s not going to kill Dorothy because she wants Dorothy’s people to know she can’t protect them. Zelena tells Hades he was right, but he’s disappeared, leaving only the bike.

Robin and the crew try to get Zelena to come out. She brings the baby out and says she can’t protect her. She says Hades wants to use her for a time travel spell. She says he had love in his heart and because of her, it’s gone. Regina says he needs the baby because it’s a symbol of innocence. Zelena tells them to take the baby and protect her, even if it’s at the expense of her never seeing her baby again.

Robin doesn’t want to name the baby yet, as Hades can do things like put it on a gravestone to keep someone there. Henry comes out with more of the story. He says he doesn’t remember writing it; it just wrote himself. It’s about Neil hearing the voices of his parents. Lots of warm fuzzies. Snow wants to get moving. She says they’re taking down Hades.

In old Oz, Hades has prepared a wonderful dinner for Zelena. She asks if it’s a farewell dinner, but he says he’s not going back. He says it’s true love between them. He says his heart fluttered for a moment on the bike and he believes his heart will start again and he’ll be free. They almost kiss, but Zelena stops it. She says she almost believed him, but she thinks he just wants to steal the brain for the spell. She says love isn’t enough. Hades says he doesn’t want revenge any more; he wants her and loves her. She says no one can love her and even if so, it would take away her chance for revenge. She tells him to get lost and he says she’ll regret it.

Zelena and Hades meet in the Underworld. He says he was looking for her. She says he was looking for the baby and she was just a happy accident. She says she thought she’d make it easy, but if he touches the baby, he’ll be sorry. He says he’d never hurt her because true love endures. He says he was trying to rescue the baby from the others. He tells her he made the Underworld look like Storybrooke for her, so she could have what her sister did. He says despite his best intentions, things don’t grow there, they decay, but it’s their decay. He says what better revenge is there than having it all? He says now they have to get their baby. Zelena says she wants to trust him, but she can’t. She says she’ll get her daughter back on her own.

Zelena never knew her own birthday and Hades tells her it’s April 15 (tax day — ha-ha!). He tortured it out of the miller’s daughter. He says he knows she doesn’t need anyone, but if she decides she wants him, he’ll be waiting at home as he always has. And he disappears, poof! in a puff of smoke

Next week, Gaston arrives, Hades tries to get Belle’s baby, and Gaston tries to kill Gold.

The Walking Dead

Morgan is tromping through the forest. He sees a sign that says “You Are Alive.” Nearby is a saddled horse. No surprise, there’s someone else in the woods — the guy who picked up Carol’s rosary.

A guy runs through the forest. Someone is chasing him. And whistling.

Rick and company need to find a doctor for Maggie. Carl tells Enid she has to stay behind. He says the Saviors are out there and she knows what they’ve done and tried to do, and it’s not happening to her. Enid says she’s going. Rick doesn’t want to bring Eugene, but Eugene insists. Carl agrees to let Enid come along, but then locks her in a closet. She says what if he doesn’t come back. He says she’ll survive somehow. Eugene, Abe and Sasha get into the RV. Spencer insists on coming too.

The guy in the woods has been caught. Spokesdude says he broke the rules and people had to die. They wanted to fight, so this is the way it has to be. They start beating the crap out of him.

Gabriel goes over the plan for those staying behind. He’s in charge and asks if Rick is comfortable with that. Rick says yes. Some guy asks if the Saviors show up if they should try and make a deal. Rick says wait for him. He has a deal for them. I’ll bet.

Morgan, now riding the horse, sees a bunch of dead guys. Then he sees Carol in a doorway. She says she told him not to come. He checks out her injuries.

Dude in the forest is now getting dragged out of the forest into the middle of the road. Spokesdude says they’re gong to make an example of him.

Maggie isn’t doing too well, but Rick says it will be okay. He says everything they’ve done, they’ve done together and everything has worked out because it’s been all of them. He says as long as it’s all of them, they can do anything.

Morgan dresses Carol’s wounds. He tells her she needs stitches and antibiotics. He says at dawn they’ll head back and get her some help. She says no. Like he’s going to listen.

The RV comes across the group of guys from the woods blocking their way. They get out of the van. Rick tells them they can make a deal. Spokesdude says that’s right, give them all the stuff. They’ll probably have to kill someone, but then they can move forward with business. Rick says that’s not going to work and he was actually going to ask for their stuff, but he doesn’t have to kill any more of them.

Another guy spray paints the almost-dead guy (?) and Spokesdude says he’s not going to negotiate. Rick says they’re leaving then. Rick asks if they want to make today their last day on earth. Spokesdude says no, but what if it’s the last day on earth for Rick or someone he loves? He says you never know. More last day on earth talk and Rick gets back in the RV. Abe backs it up down the road.

They park the RV to regroup. Carl asks Spencer why he didn’t stay at Alexandria. He says he owes her and asks why Carl came. He says he owes them. Eugene and Sasha plot out a new route.

Morgan tells Carol that Rick, Daryl and some of the others were looking for her too. He says they’ll be back by the time they get to Alexiandria. Carol says he can’t just tell her to come back. Morgan says her people care about her. She says she cares about them, that’s why she can’t be there. He says that’s why she has to be there. She says if you care about people, there are people you’ll kill for. If you don’t want to kill or can’t, you have to get away. Morgan says everything in this life is worth a damn and out there on her own, she’ll die. Carol says let her die then and Morgan says he can’t. Carol draws her gun and tells him to go. She lowers it and says please. She says if you care about anyone, you have to pay a price and she can’t anymore.

Abe asks Sasha if they could do it, what Maggie has done. He says he could do it now, just so she knows. Uh-oh, another blockade. Sasha asks if they’re making their stand. Carl says they end it now. Rick says not yet, but they’re playing it the way they want it and tells Abe to go slow.

There are a bunch of vehicles and guys with guns. They shoot into the air.

Morgan goes outside and sees a zombie hanging from some scaffolding, and several more outside the gate. He climbs up the scaffold, stabs the zombie in the head and cuts him down. When he goes back in, Carol is gone. Did he really think she was sticking around after that speech? He gets back on the horse and leaves.

In the RV, they talk about the men blocking them and that this was a different group. Their main concern is getting Maggie to some help. Oh man, what now? A horde of zombies is blocking the road. They’re chained together. Abe says putting together a Red Rover like that takes people, a lot of them. They realize each zombie signifies one of their group. Just as they’re about to dispatch the zombies, gunfire starts.

Miraculously, no one gets shot. They make it back to the RV and take off.

Commercial break. Next week is the season premiere of Fear the Walking Dead. I almost gave up on this one until they pulled out all the stops in the season finale. Looks like the new season is going to be an improvement.

Rick said the Saviors were trying to block the road, but didn’t stop them, so they want them to go in this direction. Maggie is burning up and Rick is getting worried. There it is. Another blockade. This time with a lot more people like a giant cheerleader pyramid. Rick tells Abe to go back.

Morgan continues to look for Carol. He sees someone freshly dead and sees a rosary. It’s not Carol though. Carol is stumbling though a farm. A not too bright zombie is banging around a dumpster and she closes the open ramp on him. Another zombie comes out of nowhere and she kills it. Then the guy who took her rosary comes out next and knocks her down. He draws a gun on her.

He tells her that she’s going to lie there and he’s going to watch her die like his friends did and that he’s going to die too, and let’s see who wins. He shoots her in the arm and says it’s a good start.

Commercial break. New show Outcast looks pretty decent.

Rick tells Maggie they’re getting there. She heard the shots, but Rick tells her it was the Saviors and they’re gone. He says the baby is okay and there will be more. Maggie says she believes in him.

Rosary dude asks Carol what she’s smiling about. She says she’s going to die, so there’s nothing wrong anymore. He shoots her again. He asks if she’s suffered enough and she says probably not. He doesn’t know what the blip to make of this. He starts walking away and she says unless he kills her now, she’s not going to die. She says he needs to decide. He comes back and is going to shoot, when Morgan shows up with a gun and tells him to drop it, please. He doesn’t and Morgan shoots him. Way to go, Morgan. Carol says to let her go, but he says it’s not her time.

Morgan turns around to see two pseudo-knights. He says he found their horse and his friend needs help. One of them says let’s get her some help then.

Rick and company come across yet another blockade, this time a burning one, and are looking around when a guy drops off the bridge behind them, hanging by his neck. They can’t waste a bullet on him though, so zombie he will be. A voice says something about their last day on earth and tells them to get out. They do.

Rick says Maggie needs a doctor now. Sasha says there are two more routes, but Rick says they’re waiting. Eugene says they’re waiting for the RV and it’s going to be dark soon. He and Eugene make a plan. Rick and the others are leaving with Maggie, and Eugene is going to keep driving. Eugene gives him a map to where the bullets are. Rick says they’re lucky to have Eugene and Eugene says he can’t argue with that. Abe tells Eugene he was wrong. Eugene is a survivor and always was, they just didn’t know it. They hug and I have a bad feeling about everything. And rightly so, since this is the season finale. Sad music while Eugene watches them leave.

Commercial break. Fear 462. The conclusion. Obrecht takes off her oxygen mask. Dude from Fear the Walking Dead sees the plane in the sky. We’ll find out what happens with the flight in the premiere.

The crew carries Maggie through the woods on a stretcher. Carl says they can do anything. They have and they will. He says he’s not going to let anyone die like Denise again. They hear whistling and take off running. They come to a clearing and are in a spotlight. There’s a ring of people around the clearing and the RV is there. A lot of whistling that’s more annoying than spooky. Rick looks totally freaked. Eugene is there on his knees.

Spokesdude says you made it to where you’re going, and takes their weapons. Rick suggests they talk, but Spokesdude says they’re done talking, now he’s going to listen. He comes up to Carl and says, “It’s yours, right?” He tells them to get on their knees. This is so not good. They take Maggie off the stretcher.

Dwight takes Michonne, Daryl, Rosita and Glenn out of a nearby truck. It’s time to finally meet Negan.

Negan comes out of a truck carrying a Flintstones style club. He asks who’s the leader and Dwight points out Rick. Negan introduces himself and says he doesn’t appreciate his people being killed. He tells Rick he has no idea how not cool that sh*t is, and he’s going to regret crossing him in a few minutes. He says you don’t cross New World Order. He tells Rick to give him his sh*t or he’ll kill him. He says today was career day and they invested a lot in showing them who he is and what he can do. They work for him now. They’re stuff belongs to him.

Negan says Rick ruled the roost, built something and thought they were safe, but they’re not even close to safe. He says what he wants is half of their stuff and this is their way of life now. The more they fight back, the harder it will be. He asks Rick if he understands, but Rick doesn’t say anything.

Negan says they’re going to be punished. He’s not going to kill Rick because he wants Rick to work for him and he can’t do that if he’s dead. He says Rick’s people killed more of his people than he’s comfortable with, and he can’t let that go, so he’s going to beat the holy hell out of one of them. He introduces his club as Lucille. I name it Wilma.

Negan walks down the line, talking macho bs. When he gets to Maggie, he tells her she looks sh*tty and he should put her out of her misery. Of course this makes Glenn go crazy. Dwight pulls him back. Negan tells them the first one is free, it’s an emotional moment, but don’t anybody do that again.

Next, Negan picks on Carl, knowing that he’s Rick’s son. He says he has to pick somebody. Ugh! He starts whistling and walking down the line again, saying he can’t decide. He does eeny, meeny, minie, moe. How old are we? Five? Everyone is all shaky and crying, which I find difficult to grasp after all they’ve been through. He says if anybody tries anything, he’ll take Carl’s other eye out and feed it to Rick. Alrighty then. He starts beating on someone but we can’t see who it is.

There’s a blank screen rip-off ending, with screams in the background.

Why is there never a season finale with Rick’s crowd ending up on top?

I Am Cait

This is funny. Jenny pronounces Monday “Mundee.” The girls make fun of this, but she’s actually correct. When I was in acting school, I took Standard American Speech and that is the way you’re supposed to pronounce it.

Kourtney calls Cait and Cait tells her that she’s meeting Scott in St. Louis. She wants to make sure it’s cool with Kourtney. Scott has been in rehab, so things are good between them. Cait explains to the girls that Kourtney and Scott had three kids, but never got married. I didn’t know that.

Cait asks Chandi why she thinks that many trans women of color are sex workers. Chandi says they’re more likely to be rejected by their parents, who would rather hear they’re gay. Cait wonders why they it’s difficult for them to get real jobs. Candis says it’s most likely a discrimination issue.

We see the St. Louis Arch. They must all be exhausted.

Apparently not that exhausted. Candis is working out with her personal trainer. They go out for a snack. The trainer, Andrew, asks her about dating and if she’s open with the men she dates. Candis says she has to be, and the reaction depends on the person. He asks what she likes and she says tall, dark and handsome (which he is) and he says he thinks it’s just around the corner.

Cait and Chandi have breakfast. Chandi feels there are some loose ends and wants to tell Cait about her past. She says before she started performing, she ran with the wrong crowd. She did some white collar crime, like writing bad checks, and ended up in prison. Wow. I wouldn’t have guessed that. It was pretty scary and Chandi never realized the repercussions being a felon would have. Chandi says her parents weren’t there for her, but only because she didn’t tell them. Everything was about trying to survive.

Scott comes to visit. Scott asks how it’s going on the bus and Cait says there’s a lot of interesting conversation. She thinks it will be good for Scott to meet the girls and hear about their experiences.

They all go to a bar and meet up with Van, a friend of Zachary’s. They joke about Scott being an honorary trans woman. Cait goes for a motorcycle ride. Candis follows, but takes a spill and goes back to the bar. Zachary talks about the high amount of trans women who are murdered. They’re going to a memorial for them.

Van talks about transitioning twice. She went back to being a male for a while because she couldn’t find a job. Cait identifies, having had hormone therapy in the 80s. Jenny talks to Scott about how to explain Cait’s transition to his children. She says in her experience, it’s a bigger deal to grown-ups than to kids. I’m sure.

The girls take a break from the bus and go on a riverboat cruise. St. Louis is a really beautiful city. And very clean. Chandi talks about the new term “pan sexual,” basically being open to anything and testing the waters. There’s some discussion about surgeries. Scott seems sincere about his interest in getting answers to questions he might be asked.

Chandi’s mom, Tina, meets them back at the hotel. They go out to dinner. I would totally gain weight on this trip. Andrew joins them. Jenny talks to Scott about his split from Kourtney. I have to admit, I’d always thought Scott was a bit of a d-bag, but he seems to be a decent guy.

Scott says that he hasn’t talked to Cait all night and he has to call it a day. He leaves and Candis suggests Cait has been ignoring him. They get back to the hotel, and Candis and Andrew get a drink. They step outside and Andrew gives Candis his jacket. Candis asks what Andrew is thinking. She says he’s cute and she could kiss him, but he says he doesn’t think he could go there just yet. She says on that note, she’s going to bed and she’ll call him. Yeah, that wasn’t the response I expected from him either.

The girls go to the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Andrew comes by Candis’s room. He tells her something came up and he has to fly out. He asks about last night. She says she felt like they had something, and assumed his hesitation is because of the trans thing. He says yes, but there’s no judgement, it’s just him. I would be okay with this, but he sure seemed like he was flirting, so why did he lead her on? Candis is understandably hurt. I feel hurt for her.

Cait has breakfast with Chandi and her mother. Cait asks Tina what her concerns were when Chandi first told her about transitioning. Tina says she questioned herself as a mom. She says she had a hard time at first because she’s religious, but she realized that God accepts us as we are. She says even though Chandi is different than she is, she’s still her child.

Cait goes to Scott’s room. Scott says if Cait is going to be a woman, maybe she should tone down her knock. Ha-ha! Cait says she heard Scott was thinking of leaving, but she thinks he should stay. Scott says that he came there to visit her, but is spending more time with her people. Cait says that he has a lot in common with them. She says that she’d always felt isolated and didn’t fit in and when she surrounded herself with good people, it helped. She says he’s kind of in the same boat. Scott says he thought the drinking made him fun and cool, but no. He says he’s there for Cait and she says ditto. Cait says it’s not so much going through the issues, it’s how you come out. Scott says he feels better now that they talked and not so much like an outsider. They hug and Scott says maybe Cait wants to tone down the hugs too. These two have a cute relationship.

They go to Remembrance Day and names of the murder victims are read. Candis says it could have been any one of them. A memorial garden is dedicated and Kate makes a small speech about them being the first generation to be more open and fight against transphobia.

This season, Kris visits, there’s a ski trip and a golf outing, Christmas trees in LA,  and more politics.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — Reunion Part Three

Again, I decided to forego the first half to watch I Am Cait in its entirety.

When I come in, they’re talking about the Feds visiting Cynthia’s house regarding Apollo’s stuff. The guys are on stage and Peter said the agent basically said he thought there was stolen stuff there because of the show. Phaedra says she had nothing to do with it and had it been her motive, she would have done it before anything aired. Kandi seems skeptical. Phaedra acts offended, but Kandi says she’s been secretive and done some weird sh*t.

Andy asks Todd if he thinks Phaedra called the Feds and he says yes. Phaedra gets offended again, but Todd says she’s kind of transparent. Phaedra talks about Todd running around with Apollo and Todd brings up how he helped her cut Apollo out of the exercise video deal. Todd says she seems to know what he’s doing all the time, so maybe she should have kept better tabs on Apollo. He suggests she’s not as innocent as she claims about what was going on with Apollo’s schemes.

Phaedra pulls up some emails where Todd asked for an update, meaning when is she going to settle up about the video. Todd whips out a couple of papers. Kandi says Phaedra ties up loose ends at the last minute, just before she knows things will become public. Kandi gets defensive about Todd. Todd says he kept his mouth shot about Phaedra owing the money pretty well, but they’re square now. The husbands exit. After Andy asks Peter how drunk he is.

Andy talks about Porsha going off on an assistant and we see “previously unseen footage,” which really means they saved it for the reunion. OMG. Porsha is in a short, white, furry outfit, running after some poor soul and screaming. Dwight picks up the hat with ears that she lost. Apparently Porsha beat someone down, tearing off her wig and everything. Porsha makes excuses I’m not even going to bother with. We flash back to the person Porsha attacked, who was an assistant. Andy points out that Porsha has been in three altercations since being on the show and asks if that’s her normal way of handling things. Porsha makes noises that she’s the victim. When Kenya tries to say something, Porsha whines. Nene says she managed to make it through the season without giving anyone a beatdown.

Phaedra says Porsha went to anger management and acknowledges that it’s something that needs to be treated. Kenya says some of the cast members have felt uncomfortable around her. Kandi says what’s worse is that it’s happened more than once and that the women are automatically on the defense. Porsha talks about remorse afterward, but the others say that’s not true, that she’s smack talked afterwards. Aww, poor Porsha is upset and says she’ll only answer questions from Andy.

She tries to blame the show, but Andy says the pressure is true for everyone. Kenya says she wants to blame everyone else for her loss of control. Kenya and Porsha get into a mini argument. Sheree says something, but I keep being distracted by her almost black lipstick that looks like something out of The Rocky Horror Show. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but it’s definitely attention grabbing. Nene says Porsha has made some bad choices. She says things like fighting and twerking will mar your brand. Kim think Porsha should be congratulated that she’s going to counseling and is honest about that. Porsha says one of those phrases I hate, “I’m a work in progress.” That always seems like an excuse for being a screw up to me.

Everybody says boring stuff about what the season meant to them and what they learned or whatever. Phaedra uses that work in progress term again. No surprise that she and Porsha used that phrase. They’re the two phoniest cast members who constantly make excuses for their bad behavior, which is always somebody else’s fault.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

I can’t believe it’s the season finale of The Walking Dead and this show is still going on.

It’s the morning after the night before, and Charrisse is just waking up. She says she has no complaints about her 50th birthday party.

Robyn and Gizelle are taking the kids horseback riding. Gizelle says it’s not something she enjoys because of the dirt. Um…it’s not farming. Robyn is concerned that there aren’t more Black families, so her kids can play with kids who look like them. She brings up Katie’s calling them bi-racial. For one, I don’t get why that’s some kind of insult, and for two, I don’t believe they have no white ancestors. No way, no how. Gizelle says she’s having a “come to Jesus” lunch for the ladies because they should have each other’s backs.

Karen is getting Rayven off to college. Karen is distressed that she’s so cool about moving out. I totally understand.

Katie has a farm in Virginia that she bought when she was a model. She and Andrew are going there for a romantic weekend. Katie says she doesn’t understand why a couple of the others can’t relax and have fun, adding that there’s more to life than just gossiping when that’s what she’s doing right now. Gizelle calls Katie about the lunch. Katie does not sound enthusiastic.

Andrew tells Karen he’s going to Scotland and she’s not invited. She says she understands, but she’s bummed. I think the time is running out for him to propose.

Ashley is waiting on the rooftop for Michael, who is bearing sushi. They talk about the restaurant they’re opening. Ashley also wants to get going on having a baby. She’s thinking a month after the opening. He says if they break even. Ashley talks about the upcoming lunch. Ashley hopes she and Karen can work things out, but Gizelle seems to have a problem with the butt-grabbing business. I can’t even believe anyone is still talking about a 3-second event at a party.

Katie’s farm has cows and everything. Katie and Andrew go to a place she calls “the vortex.” There are all kinds of flowers and such and Andrew proposes. Nice, but anticlimactic after all this time. Or what feels like all this time. Beautiful ring, no surprise.

Gizelle and her girls are making dinner. Gizelle’s father, Curtis, is joining them. Curtis was a big part of the early Civil Rights movement. He tells a story about Martin Luther King and how MLK prayed and got a miracle. He seems like a cool guy. What happened to Gizelle? Curtis is also getting some kind of award for his efforts.

The girls are meeting at a restaurant. Gizelle says nobody is getting up until everything is resolved. Hope they have sleeping bags with them. Gizelle says they’re all grown, sophisticated and educated, and should be able to talk things out. I do a spit take. There hasn’t been one cast member who’s demonstrated those qualities.

Everyone is there except Katie, but Robyn doesn’t think she’s coming. Gizelle makes a little speech about how they don’t listen and gives them a sign to hold for when it’s there turn to speak. Karen gets it first and talks about her non-gala and how she doesn’t want Ashley talking about her daughter. She suggests Ashley have her own baby, and rather crudely for one sooo concerned with etiquette all the time. Again I ask, where did they find these women? The other girls look like they might choke.

Ashley says she’s chill, but she says that Karen has made some oddball comments about her and her husband. She also says she acted like Michael wanted to get in her panties at the beach house. Gizelle calls the issue done, but I’ll bet not. Katie arrives.

Katie takes the sign and says she’s engaged. She shows the ring and tells the story. Robyn takes the sign and tells Katie she thinks they need a Black history lesson. Katie brings up Robyn thinking butt-grabbing is a white thing. Oh. Please. Gizelle says she was the first to notice and thought it was disrespectful. Katie asks why bring race into it. Katie says she was trying to show them their hypocrisy in their bringing up race all the time by calling them bi-racial. She wonders why there’s a problem with it anyway. Gizelle says Katie has a problem with being Black and Katie says she’s a stupid woman who says stupid things. Probably the first honest thing that’s been said here.

My TV suddenly decided to go wacky here and pull some poltergeist moves. I did see the end of the show though where everyone gave a one-word toast with things like love, wealth and dynamic. With each woman, they showed what’s happening in their lives.

Absolutely nothing.

Next week, The Reunion. This should be good. Bring earplugs.

Mar28

March 27, 2016 — A Mutiny, a Debate, a Reunion, the Dead & the Wives

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time
Henry takes off with Cruella in the coolest car ever. Her license plate says DeVIL and I feel really, really stupid because in all these years, I never realized her last name spells devil. Henry makes her stop near a forest. Cruella isn’t interested in tromping around in her heels, so she tells Henry to go ahead. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice stops Henry. He tells Henry it would be a mistake to resurrect Cruella. He says Henry should only record the stories, not create them. The sorcerer says the quill is protected by a powerful spell and the sheriff has the key. He tells Henry he trusts him to make the right choice.

Emma tends to Hook’s wounds. He says she went into the darkness for love, but he did it for revenge and doesn’t measure up to her. She asks if he wants to stay in the Underworld. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Hook’s older brother, Liam.

We flash back to Hook and his brother working as indentured servants on a ship. Liam suggests they join the Royal Navy when they’re finished. The captain comes by and kicks some crap onto the deck that they have to clean up. He tells them only Liam can go collect their money, which will be paid to him. Liam says he’ll be back and they’ll be free by sunrise.

Hook says the only way out of the Underworld is to defeat Hades. He asks Liam if he has any knowledge from being there so long. Liam says he’s heard about a book from people who have tried to overthrow Hades. He says he’s in on the mutiny.

Snow and David look for the book. Liam asks to talk to Emma. He tells her Hook blames himself for being there, but Liam thinks it’s Emma’s fault. He says Hook had the chance to die a hero and she took it from him. She asks if he was this self-righteous while he was alive. He says when it comes to his brother, yes, and if she really loves him, she’ll let him go.

Hook and Emma start looking for the book. Henry says he thinks he knows where it is, but they need the key from the sheriff, who is also David’s evil twin, James.

Back on the old ship, Liam returns and the captain says only he can leave. Hook took the captain up on his offer of a drink and ended up gambling his half of the money away. The captain says Liam should just leave the dead weight behind him. Hook says he can’t be the brother that Liam deserves. Liam says come hell or high water, he can’t leave his brother.

Hades is in the bar where Liam is bartender. Hades says he knows about the mutiny. Liam asks what he wants. Hades says he wants the book destroyed, or at least the pages he’s on. He says the sorcerer’s house doesn’t like him very much, so he needs Liam to get it.

Snow and David break into the sheriff’s office. They get the key, but hear Cruella coming in. Snow jets out and David pretends to be his brother. Cruella has brought champagne and says momma has had a long day.

Emma asks Regina what she thinks of Liam. Regina realizes Liam doesn’t like Emma. Emma says he doesn’t think she’s good enough for Hook. Regina says he the type who doesn’t forgive himself.

Henry, Hook. Liam and Emma take the key to the sorcerer’s house.

On the old ship, a storm is brewing and the ship is going right into it. Hook tries to tell the captain they should change course, or they’ll face a hurricane. The captain says there’s a reward for the ship that goes inside the hurricane, so too bad, they’re staying on course. Liam and Hook stage a mutiny. Hook asks if it’s going to be the easy way or the bloody way and the captain surrenders. Liam tells Hook to tie them up while he goes to get the captain’s maps and whatever.

The sorcerer isn’t a very good housekeeper. There are cobwebs everywhere. Emma tells Henry to be the lookout while they look for the book.

Liam finds the book. While alone, he turns to the pages with Hades in them, and rips them out, saying he’s sorry to his brother.

Cruella is sitting on David’s lap, trying to ply him with champagne. Finally he has enough and asks her if his brother really goes for this nonsense. Cruella says she’d hoped he’d pretended a while longer. She says she knew he wasn’t James because although he looks like James, he doesn’t have James’s “delicious damage,” the damage David is responsible for.

The Storybrooke gang realizes the pages with Hades are gone. Regina says she took her pages out when she didn’t want Henry to know she was the evil queen. Liam pretends like he didn’t know the pages were missing and says maybe they fell out somewhere. They go off to look.

Emma tells Hook something is up with Liam, but he blows her off, thinking it’s just because of Liam’s attitude toward Emma.

Hades shows up in the midst of the storm. Liam is in the captain’s quarters and Hades says he can help him. He says Liam’s dreams of the King’s Navy are over. Liam asks how he would know about that and Hades shows his blue, fiery hair. Liam says he’s a demon. Hades says technically he’s a god, but a lot of people make that mistake. Liam draws his sword. Hades promises if Liam allows the ship to be sunk, he’ll spare Liam and his brother. He says he’ll also give him a rare gem stone. Hades says it will fulfill all of Liam’s dreams.

Liam ditches the pages in a well. Emma comes by and he claims he’s getting some air. Emma tells him that he’s Hook’s hero and wonders why he lied to Hook. Hook comes by and Emma says Liam has the pages. She says he’s been hiding his hands since she got there and tells Liam to show Hook his hands. Hook says he doesn’t care. His fate isn’t in Storybrooke, it should be determined there. Emma says no matter how many times people tell him he’s good enough, he doesn’t listen. She leaves.

Liam shows Hook his hands and they have ink on them. Hook asks why Liam lied. The ship’s crew comes out of the woods and the captain says that Liam has to pay for what he did to them.

Back on the old ship, they’re in the middle of the storm. Liam gives Hook his lucky ring, saying that’s how sure he is, and takes the wheel. Hook makes a speech about trusting Liam with his life.

In the Underworld, Hook asks what this has to do with the missing pages. The captain says Liam isn’t the hero he pretends to be. He says he saw Hades visiting him at the bar and says he traded their souls for the eye of the storm. The guys take Hook and Liam to the edge of the precipice above the Lake of Fire, and the captain tells them to walk the plank. Liam asks them to spare Hook, but that’s a no. Liam tells Hook sorry he failed.

Hades shows up asking if someone decided to have a party without inviting him. Bye, captain! Hades says only one of them kept the bargain with him. Liam tells him to spare Hook and that he had nothing to do with it. Hades says too bad and over the edge Liam goes. Hook grabs his hand, but Liam says to forgive him and lets go. Hades says Liam will pay for this and disappears poof! in a cloud of blue smoke. I guess his sacrifice spared Hook.

Liam is in a little boat and drifts up to Hook. Liam says this is what he should have done in the first place. Hook tells all the men they’re free now and to get in the boat. He says his unfinished business isn’t done yet. Liam says to tell Emma he was wrong and that she does want what’s best for Hook. The brothers say good-by and Liam sails away.

In the old days, Liam and Hook wash up on shore. Some soldiers from the Royal Navy find them. The captain says if they went into the storm, they deserve what they got. Liam produces the stone and the captain sings a different tune, saying he’s a hero. His ship will take them to the king. Liam says he’s going to ask the king about a Navy position and the captain says they can do that right there.

Hook tells Emma what happened, and how she was right about Liam, but he sacrificed himself. Hook says he saw the truth that he is good enough for Emma. They kiss.

Henry pokes around the sorcerer’s place. He finds the quill and some ink. The others are still combing the book, but the pages with Hades are gone. David finds Henry upstairs and asks what’s up. Henry says he doesn’t want to talk about it. David says he learned that his twin brother resented him his whole life. He says he wanted what David had, a family and tells Henry that his family is pretty great. Henry asks him not to make it a lesson.

Henry shows the others the quill. He tells them about Cruella and how he almost helped her with it. He says he realized how much power he has and wanted to be the hero rather than the one rescued. He says he knows better now and is going to write the stories as they are. They wonder what Hades is trying to hide from them.

Hades finds the pages from the book and looks through them. He comes to a picture of him and Celena. He says their secret is safe.

Next week, Celena visits Hades and a reckless romance must be stopped.

The Walking Dead

Strange beginning. It’s either raining or dripping blood and there are voices in the background. Then we go right to the credits and an ad for Fear the Walking Dead which tricks us into thinking the show started.

Carol sews her jacket and packs her bag. Tobin comes upstairs. Carol hides her bag under the bed. He talks about Denise and Carol spaces out. Carol says she’s concerned about when Tara finds out. Tobin says everything will be okay and kisses her. When he’s asleep, Carol slips out while a Johnny Cash song, It’s All Over, plays.

The song continues as we see what everyone is doing. Glenn and Maggie are taking a shower together; Daryl sits on his bike, Denise’s key ring in his hand; Sasha gives Abe a cigar; Rosita guards the gate.

Rick and Michonne are in bed. She takes a bite of an apple and gives it to him. This is so they can get cozy and not have morning breath. It’s an old French trick. They talk about how ultimately, everything went pretty well. Michonne has to leave for her shift. She says Maggie is worried about an attack. Rick says it won’t be like before and everyone knows what to do. He says the world is theirs and they’re not losing anybody again. Don’t get cocky, Rick.

Michonne, Glen and Maggie see Daryl leaving Alexandria on his bike. Glenn says they have to stop him. Abe pops out of nowhere and Rosita tells him to cover her shift because she’s going with them. She gets in the car with Michonne and Glenn.

Rick asks Tobin when Carol left, but he doesn’t know. Abe comes up and tells them that Daryl just took off. Tobin notices there’s a car missing. Abe says he’s going to find them and Rick tells him to wait. He says not to let anyone else leave and to be ready for a fight. He leaves with Morgan.

Commercial break. Fear 462. The oxygen masks drop and it looks like the plane is dropping too.

Carol is driving a car with giant spikes sticking out of it. A car comes from the other direction and some guys shoot out the tires. They sit in the back of their pickup and wait. Carol tucks her rosary in her sleeve. A guy says hands up and she asks them not to hurt her. What the blip has happened to Carol? She gets out of the car.

The guy asks where she’s from and where she’s going. He says he’s Hugh. She says she’s Nancy and she’s bounced around a lot, that she’s not from anywhere or going anywehre. He says they agree on one thing, she’s not going anywhere, but she seems like she is from somewhere. He says Alexandria has cars out front like the one she’s driving. He says she shouldn’t be out there alone and they can give her a ride back, since it’s where they were headed. Carol hyperventilates.

She says they could turn around and no one needs to get hurt. They start to come for her and a gun from somewhere shoots them all. A gun from carol’s sleeve. Apparently, part of her sewing project. One of the guys who is still alive comes after her, but she stabs him with one of the car spikes.

She tells another survivor to come out. He says he’ll pass. Blood is dripping from everywhere (like in the opening scene) and he comes out in attack mode with a knife.

Enid tells Maggie to put her feet up and eat some pickles while she takes Maggie’s shift.

Morgan says he thinks Carol went east. Rick says he doesn’t even know her. Morgan says there is no right, just wrong that hasn’t pulled you down.

One of the guys Carol shot is wounded. He stumbles out of the truck, surveying the damage.

Rick and Morgan drive up. They see Carol’s car, but no Carol. Rick grabs a guy who’s still breathing and asks where she is. He just gurgles, so Rick puts him out of his misery. He and Morgan look around cautiously. Rick says the men were Saviors. Rick says Carol took four of them down and she’s a force of nature. Morgan sees a blood trail going into the woods. Rick notices the guns are gone.

They follow the trail through a field. The wounded guy comes out of the woods and picks up Carol’s rosary. He follows Rick and Morgan.

Rosita and Glen go to the train tracks where Denise died. Glen asks her which way Dwight ran.

Daryl is also going through the field and nearly hits Rosita with an arrow. Daryl says they shouldn’t have come and Glenn says he shouldn’t have left. Daryl says he’s going to do what he should have done. Glenn says they need to figure it out from home and that everyone there needs them right now. He says it’s going to go wrong out there. Michonne asks Daryl to come back, but he says he can’t . He walks into the woods. Rosita says she can’t either and follows him. Glenn and Michonne go back.

Glenn says they need to find out more and Michonne agrees. Glen says after everything they did, he thought they would figure it out together. They hear a whistle type signal. A bunch of guys with guns surround them. Dwight is one of them.

Rick and Morgan see more blood. Morgan asks Rick id he’s there because Carol is his friend. Rick says Carol is his family. Morgan asks Rick about when he kicked Carol out of the prison and what he would do if that happened today. He adds that she came back and saved them. They see someone stumbling along, but it’s not Carol, it’s a zombie.

They go to a farmhouse, where there are a couple of dead people outside. They see a guy attack a zombie. The guy runs into the barn. He says he’s looking for his horse and Rick says they’re looking for a friend. The guy runs out and away, but Rick and Morgan can’t go after him because a slew of zombies come out that they have to deal with. Rick says maybe he’s from Hilltop. Morgan says he could be from anywhere.

Morgan says he found a Wolf who had attacked him once before. He found him hiding in one of the brownstones in Alexandria. He says he could have killed him, but he kept him in a cell instead. He says when Carol found out, they fought about it. He says when the Wolf escaped, he ended up saving Denise’s life, who in turn saved Carl. He says it’s a circle. He tells Rick to take the car home and that he shouldn’t be taking any more chances because he’s needed there. He says somehow, he’ll find Carol.

Rick asks if he’s coming back. Morgan says yes, but if he doesn’t, don’t come looking. Rick makes him take a gun. Before he leaves, he tells Morgan that Michonne did steal the protein bar (something I don’t even remember, but it sounds like something from Survivor). Morgan says he knew that.

Rick gets back and asks if Michonne is there, but she’s still out with Glenn. Abe asks Rick if he’s afraid to get close to anyone and he says yes. Abe says him too, but he’s ready to rip the world a new one.

Maggie tells Enid she needs some more help. She wants Enid to cut her hair. She says she has to keep going and doesn’t want anything to get in her way. Like shoulder-length hair? Enid does a pretty good job, but then Maggie goes into labor.

Glenn and Michonne are bound and gagged. Daryl sees them from behind a tree. Dwight comes up behind him and I say “oh no!” out loud. We hear a shot, Daryl pitches forward, and Dwight says, “You’ll be all right.”

Next week, it’s the 90-minute finale, Rick wants to make a deal, and a humongous war happens.

I Am Cait

The girls go for mani-pedis. The next stop is Dubuque, then Des Moines for the debates and then Graceland University where Cait went to school. They will be giving a talk there. She says the school is religiously affiliated and she wants to allow the student body to ask questions. Ella is kind of nervous about that, since she knows a couple of guys who go to school there.

They go to a fund raiser for Chicago House and Cait gives a talk. Cait visited one of their homes that houses people from the trans community. There is a protest outside where the protesters say that Cait has no clue about the real trans community issues. One of the protesters says that Cait doesn’t speak for them, and Cait explains that she isn’t trying to speak for everyone, only herself. Like there isn’t enough pressure, I guess she’s supposed to be a role model for every person who’s ever had gender reassignment surgery. Non-conformists unite!

Back in the limo, Chandi is like, that person isn’t even showing their face, how are they helping the community. Jenny says it’s the first time Cait has seen some people’s reservations about her. Jenny says she’s a public figure, but also a problematic figure and she needs to pay attention.

I just want to interject my two cents here. Why is it that just because Cait transitioned, she is supposed to be a totally different person inside as well? I thought the whole point was to put your body in sync with your mind. Not the other way around.

They pick up Candis’s sister, Mimi, and head to Dubuque. The first stop is a lingerie store. Cait says she thinks there’s some wild things going on in Dubuque. They go out to eat and Cait suggests sampling “mountain oysters” (i.e. bull testicles), but that idea is vetoed.

A local trans representative sits down with them and they discuss the evening’s casino event. The girls are going to be dealers for the night. Kate says this is a good way for people to experience meeting their first transgender person and see that they’re sweet.

A 13-year-old girl tells Cait she’s having trouble coming out and Cait gives some wise advice that’s probably true for everyone. Surround yourself with positive people who want the best for you and if anyone gives you trouble, tell them to get the hell out.

Back on the bus, Kate says they’ll be going to the Democratic debates, and says she doesn’t want the firestorm they had before. She says there will be a lot of young people of both parties there and they want to set a good example. She says “God bless America” will be the “safe” word and if someone hears it, they should check themselves for being too aggressive. Candis is afraid that Cait won’t be able to meet in the middle about her political debates and is afraid she’ll go off on a rant’

The ladies go to Drake University where the debate is being held. It’s also where Cait ran her first decathlon as Bruce. It must be weird, going back to the old places. Zackary says Cait’s conservative politics are of concern to all of them, irritating me. Because everyone has to think the same. There are surprisingly few people at the debate. Cait tries to talk to Kate about Bernie Sander’s policies and Kate God bless Americas the crap out of her. Kate gives her a B+ for listening and communication.

Afterwards. the moderator asks for opinions and points out Cait in particular. She says that transitioning was a cakewalk until people found out she was a Republican. Aren’t we even getting to meet Hilary? Oh, here she is. Caitlyn comes up to Hilary to say hello and introduces the group. Zachary says all of them were star struck, but I dunno about that. Cait says she thought Hilary was “sweet.” That’s probably the only time we’ll ever hear that word in connection with her. Bill Clinton comes in behind, where Hilary makes him walk, and takes a picture with the girls.

The girls go out for dessert. Ella texted a football player she knows from the school, who she wants to get together with. Cait says that she treated Hilary with respect and wants the girls to treat the people at the school with the same respect.

Here’s something else I think. Obviously, Cait has a celebrity status the majority of the population, trans or otherwise, doesn’t, so maybe she’s not the greatest example for the trans community. However, if those same things make people more comfortable with the issues and more willing to be open-minded, why fight that? Erin Brochovich wasn’t afraid to use her femininity to get to the bottom of that drinking water case. Amirite?

Cait says she never wore heels at Graceland, and she’s kind of nervous. She meets her old coaches. She wondered what they’re reaction was going to be and it looks like it’s pretty normal and they’re still proud of her. Ella says she’s not going to be able to talk on stage. She meets her friend, Michael, from high school. The other guy who was supposed to come is AWOL. Candis is bummed, but gives full kudos for Michael. He joins Ella and the girls for lunch. The ladies ask Michael how he felt when he first saw Ella after her transition and he answers appropriately that he was in awe of her gorgeousity.

It’s time for the assembly and the ladies take their places on stage. The professor moderating says there are no wrong questions. The first one is about balancing religion with being a trans person. There is mic drop silence from the girls and Chandi says she’ll take it.

Chandi says that she was told her life was an abomination and lost touch with God. She says she realized that God knew who she was going to be before she was born and she reconnected and now will never let that connection go. Kate says look for the heart of the doctrine you’re following, and if it’s mean, think twice about following it. Sadly, her daughter is high up in the Church of Scientology and she hasn’t seen her daughter since she was nine, because she’s considered evil. They talk about things like pronouns and what it means to be a woman. Ella says she’s the same person she was before the transition, and I go, ahem, thinking about them not allowing Cait that same grace.

One of the kids asks how happy they are. Cait talks about not knowing who she was. Now she’s excited about life, but there was a lot of struggle first. Jenny says it was Cait’s turn to be worried about what they would say, but everyone was respectful and eloquent. I agree. Everyone is proud of everyone.

Cait says that no matter what your situation is, you can live an authentic life. It’s about dealing with all of our stuff, not just trans issues. Candis apologizes for being too hard on Cait and says she’ll be more open to her conservative views. Cait says they’ll have plenty of time.

Next week, Candis flirts with her trainer, and Cait meets with Scott.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — The Reunion, Part Two

Because some new shows started tonight, I couldn’t watch my line-up without something overlapping. I chose to miss the first half of this one, since Once Upon A Time doesn’t repeat and I didn’t want to lose any of I Am Cait. I think those girls have more important things to say than these girls. So we join our program already in progress.

Dylan is there, but gets the bum’s rush before he gets a chance to say much. Andy asks Phaedra about getting her groove back after Apollo going to prison. We flash back to various Phaedra scenes, many with the kids, and of course the visit to the prison. Andy asks about the visit part we didn’t see. Phaedra says she thought it would be more emotional with the kids, but it really wasn’t. She talks about Apollo not wanting the divorce. Andy asks about them going back and Phaedra isn’t too keen on it and talks about some weirdness in the room during the visit and also that the kids got pretty bored after about an hour and it wasn’t like they could just leave.

Phaedra says she’s glad that’s over with, so people can mind their own business. Andy stirs the pot by asking is it anyone in particular. She throws some shade at Kandi, but Kandi says that she just finds it sad that Dylan doesn’t know his dad and one day Apollo will be out of prison, so they need a relationship. Kandi says she has to be honest about the pros and cons as a friend. Phaedra says none of the guys who were his friends have ever checked on the kids seeing if they need a male role model. Cynthia says that she’s told Phaedra she’ll be there if she needs her. It looks to me like Phaedra freezes people out and then gets pissed when they’re not asking if she needs help all the time.

They talk about Phaedra’s boys and it is a little sad. Phaedra talks about them always being her babies and when Aiden said he was afraid, it broke her heart.

Porsha is asked about her strange on-camera relationships. Porsha says she’s not in a relationship with Oliver (the latest), but they speak every day. They move on to the Miami trip. We go back to Kenya asking that weird guy to leave. They talk again about how Porsha and Phaedra acted like Kenya was labeling him as a Black man. It turns out even the president of Black Lives Matter tweeted Porsha and told her to knock it off. Kenya says that the dude had an aggressive and threatening manner toward women, so it wasn’t exactly an example to be setting. Kim said it was more awkward than aggressive and wonders why Kenya didn’t ask security to remove him. Kenya says she went to Tammy first. She says that it turns out the guy also had been involved in unsavory activities.

It’s brought up that it was Kenya who invited him back to the house. She says yes, but with Tammy. Phaedra says it was a case of Kenya wanting him, but him not being receptive. I disagree. The tape shows how aggressive he was and if he hadn’t been and Kenya was interested, she would have just not taken no for an answer, not asked him to leave.

Kandi comes to Kenya’s defense, saying the guy had no right to behave the way he did. She said Kenya did nothing wrong and she can’t believe they all think it was okay. Cynthia admits that had it been anyone else, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Kandi says at the end of the day, Kenya does some crazy stuff, but regardless of whether you like her or not or what she said was right or not, the guy shouldn’t have behaved the way he did.

Next week, The Reunion, Part Three, Nene shows up in a barely there outfit, Porsha’s violence is called out, and the men join the ladies.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

No reunion yet? How is this show is still on???

Robyn meets Gizelle for lunch. Gizelle toasts to new beginnings. She asks if Juan told Robyn about their conversation. She thinks they should figure out what the end result of their relationship is going to be. Robyn says the “ingredients” are there, but she’s not sure if she wants to be open again. She says if Juan takes an out-of-state job, it will force them to make a decision. Gizelle thinks it’s important for the children as well.

Katie meets with her friend Tia. They talk about Andrew a little and Katie moves on to Karen’s “gala.” Katie says it was more like a cocktail party. Agreed.

At Karen’s house, a family cookout is being planned. Karen says it’s the first time in 19 years that they’ll be alone. She and Ray talk about the gala that wasn’t. Ray asks her about the altercation at the end. Karen says Ashley tried to out-queen her and that wasn’t going to happen. Talk about exaggeration. Jealous much?

Katie and Tia talk about Gizelle. Katie says other than dressing like a prostitute and acting bitchy, Gizelle is a nice person. Better duck. That shade is being pulled down.

Ashley picks up her mother, Sheila, for lunch. Sheila bought a house and had to sue the previous owner. She won the suit, but the amount wasn’t enough to cover everything, so she had to declare bankruptcy. Ashley and Michael want to buy Sheila a new home, but Sheila thinks it’s too big of a gift. Ashley says she’s in the position to do it and she wants to. Sheila says she never wants to be her burden. Ashley says that’s not the case. I say, geez, they have a skabillion dollars, take the house. And pick out a nice house. In her individual interview, Ashley says it’s bizarre that Karen doesn’t want Ashley around her daughter, since she actually makes a pretty good role model.

Charrisse is turning 50 and she says it’s going to be a new Charrisse. She’s going to have a slide show of her pictures during her party. Not too egotistical. Katie comes over to give her modeling tips for her birthday photo shoot. Charrisse says she’s having the party at the Carnegie Library. Her husband can’t make the party, but I don’t think she cares a whole lot.

It’s Rayvin’s going away party and Karen is getting ready with last minute stuff. She’s about to put her feet up for a second, when the bartender shows up, who Karen had no idea was hired by her husband. Spousal communication is a universal problem. She tells Ray he made her look like an idiot and he tells her not to sweat the small stuff.

All the relatives and friends gather in Karen’s backyard for some barbecue. Karen cries on Ray’s shoulder in the kitchen because she’s having a hard time letting go.

Gizelle sits her girls down for a family meeting. She says she’s been dating a little and she wants to talk to them about it. She asks them how they feel about her dating. I suppose the chant of “get a boyfriend” answers that question. Charrisse drops by with her dogs. They chat in the kitchen. Gizelle asks if Eddie is coming to the birthday party. Charrisse says she’d love for him to be there, but it is what it is. She also says the party is totaling around 80 grand, so maybe it’s good he’s not around.

Robyn meets Juan for lunch. Juan wants to be a head coach, but has to work his way up. Robyn asks about the out-of-state job. He says nothing is going on with that yet, and Robyn is relieved.

Charrisse’s birthday is upon us. I’m speechless. I don’t even know what to say about the slide show, giant cake and a billion balloons. Katie says Karen should take note on event planning and I have to agree with that. She also says it’s kind of like a wedding and I have to agree there too. A sad wedding. With just a bride.

Ashley says hello to Karen, who can’t brush her off fast enough. She asks the girls how she became the bad guy all of a sudden. In a moment of the pot calling the kettle black, Gizelle says Ashley can be a bit of a dum-dum. Karen says she doesn’t have time for Ashley’s shenanigans tonight. Gizelle wants them to talk, but doesn’t get anywhere. Ashley catches Karen in the hall and asks if they can talk, but Karen says no, she’s there to enjoy the evening with her husband. In her individual interview, Karen says Ashley doesn’t belong in this world. Does anyone? Ashley is kind of like a persistent puppy and somewhat annoying, but on the other hand, I just don’t see what the big deal is here. I usually don’t when it comes to Karen, who makes it up as she goes along.

Charrisse makes a costume change. Her daughter makes a little speech and it’s very sweet. A reasonably sized cake comes out. Charrisse does some rapping and her father looks less than impressed.

Michael grabs Andrew’s behind. Why? Who knows. Ashley says he’s just being silly. What’s really weird is, Michael and Andrew are talking and having a drink, while the ladies are discussing it. Gizelle asks if butt-grabbing is a white thing. For whatever reason Ashley thought Robyn and Gizelle were bi-racial and they get all offended. Then they go back to more butt-grabbing talk. Zzzzz….

Katie tells Andrew about the discussion. Katie says Robyn and Gizelle seem fixated about how Black they are, and are the most obsessed with race.

Ashley says something to Michael about the butt-grabbing being a white thing and jokes that it is. Ashley says she’s grabbed everyone’s butt except Karen’s. I don’t think I’ve ever grabbed a friend’s butt. Charrisse is happy with her $80,000 party, so that’s all that really matters.

Perhaps Michael has had too much to drink because he gets teary-eyed over how lucky he is to be married to Ashley.

Next week, we still can’t get rid of them, the girls go horseback riding, Ashley wants a baby, and Andrew goes on a golf trip without Katie.

Mar21

March 20, 2016 — An Exhausting Night of TV

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

When we last left him, Hook had to decide which of his friends would be staying in the Underworld. He refuses. Hades says he’s disappointed…and angry. He sends Hook to solitary. He tells Hook if he touches the River of Lost Souls, he’ll be lost, so he’d better keep his hands inside the boat.

Gold finds a note from Peter saying that the shop is his to do what he wants. He cooks up some eye of newt stuff in a cauldron. He looks into a crystal ball and sees Belle. He drops the ball, smashing it.

The others are planning on springing Hook. Gold comes in to discourage them from their plan. He has an aura of a dead person that he can give himself and Emma to get through. He knows someone who will give them their aura.

Back in the old days, a snake has bitten Gold’s son.

Gold sees his wife as a crossing guard in the Underworld. He tells her he’s not dead, just visiting. He says her job is ironic, keeping children safe. He asks her if she wants to go on a romantic adventure and says they need to get Hook. She says she’s responsible for the children, and he says, um… they’re dead already. He asks if she’ll help him if it means saving Hook. Hmm….

Hook is being held by Hades above the River of Lost Souls. Hades tells Hook that they brought contraband into his world, which is forbidden, and he still sees hope in Hook’s eyes. He wants it to be gone before Hook reaches the water. He tells Hook to feel free to go mad.

Gold introduces Mila, his ex-wife (and Hook’s ex), to Emma. Mila is like, you’ve been with my ex-lover and son (Neil). Gold says they’ll laugh about it one day.

Regina approaches Cruella. She wants to know how to find someone in the graveyard. Cruella says let’s sit down and be civilized.

Gold, Mila and Emma join hands to get through a barrier to the low place of the Underworld. The Under Underworld, if you will. The door slams shut behind them.

Olden days Gold and his wife approach a witch doctor for a snake bite cure. He says the potion is very rare and will cost 100 gold pieces. They don’t have it and leave, but Mila says they’ll come back and take it.

Emma thanks Mila and tells her that she’s had a vision of Neil and he’s moved on and is happy. Whatever he had to resolve, is done. They’re at the River of Lost Souls where there’s a boat. Mila says they can take it to Hook. She has her reasons to want to come with them.

Regina asks if she finds a headstone if that means the person is in “Underbrooke.” Cruella says no, it might mean they’re just passing through. Cruella happens to have a cemetery plot map on her, which is pretty convenient. One color means they’re there, another they’re just passing through and another means they’ve moved on.

Emma, Gold and Mila take the boat to where Hook is. Gold tells Emma he’s staying in the boat and she’ll be fine on her own. Mila stays with him.

Olden days Mila buys a dagger with their last gold coin for Gold/Rumpel to kill the witch doctor. She tells him to do something brave for once. He leaves and some brute tries to pick Mila up. Hook intervenes. He introduces himself. Mila asks him if it’s wonderful to travel the ocean. He says it’s pretty amazing and asks her if she’d like to see it. She says she has responsibilities of a husband and child. I’m guessing they “hooked” up later? Hahahahaha!

Hook dangles over the water and drops further down when Emma comes in. She walks out onto a platform above the water toward him. I love the sets in this show! She manages to grab Hook and get him onto something stable. He tells her she should leave. Of course she won’t. Like she traveled all that way just to leave him there.

Mila talks to Gold while they’re waiting. She tells him her unfinished business wasn’t Hook, it was their son. She should have been there for him instead of punishing him because she hated Rumpel. She wants to move on so she can see him and apologize. Gold says he betrayed him as well and was forgiven, and he’ll forgive Mila.

Rumpel sneaks into the witch doctor’s tent. The doctor wakes up and says he cold kill Rumpel with a single spell, but does nothing because he knows Rumpel doesn’t have the guts to kill him. He asks how much Rumpel’s son means to him. Rumpel says everything. He says Rumpel can leave with the cure and they can make a deal. He says he would trade anything to save his son.

Hades shows up, but tells Gold he’s not there to fight. He wants to make a deal.

Snow meets Regina in the graveyard. They find Daniel Colter’s grave. Regina knows he’s not there and happy. She says he was her first love and will always live in her heart.

Gold has a drink with Hades who says he’s a fan. He says he’s been a good supplier of souls. He wants Gold to sink the boat so that his friends don’t have a way out. Gold says he can do it himself. Hades says he could, but he wants Gold to do it. Gold says Mila already saw Hades, but Hades says Gold can figure that one out.

Rumpel brings the cure back and says he didn’t even have to steal it. He says he didn’t want his son to grow up with a monster as a father, so he signed a paper saying he’d give the witch doctor his second child. Mila says he sold their future. He says the son they already have is all the future they need. Mila says thanks for deciding her future for her. Typical man. She says she’s going to the tavern.

Gold destroys the boat and tells Mila, congratulations, he’s finally become the man she wanted him to be — the one who takes what he needs. He dumps her into the river.

Emma and Hook appear, and Gold tells them Hades blew his magic back at him and that’s how Mila disappeared.

Regina and Snow come upon a hurt horse. Regina cures it and it gives her a thank you look. Snow is surprised that Regina’s magic worked.

Hook, Emma and Gold join the others. Hook says they lost the boat and a friend though. He tells Gold he should kill him, but he did help him get out, so they’re even for now. Gold says he just wants to get home and you’re welcome. Regina tells them her magic is working and as soon as they find an exit, they can get out. All of a sudden her magic won’t work though.

Regina, Snow and Emma are stuck in the Underworld.

Gold pops back to where the witch doctor lives, in full Rumpel regalia. He says the doctor took advantage of him and he admires that, but he wants to dissolve the contract. He says he can’t owe a debt to a dead man and takes his heart, saying he loves a loophole.

Gold comes to see Hades. He says he destroyed the boat, now send him home. Hades says things have changed. He’ll send him home, but not today. He says Gold tried to hide something from him and looks into the crystal ball to see Belle. He says he did a little digging and thinking, and knows Gold was trying to figure out where his son went. He says Belle is an image of his next child because Belle is pregnant. He produces the witch doctor. He says death doesn’t nullify a contract in the Underworld and the doctor signed it over to him. He says at any time he can cash the debt in and take Gold’s baby.

All magic comes with a price. The price is that Gold works for Hades. And there’s something he needs Gold to do that only he can do.

Next week, Hook begins a mutiny, Hook’s brother shows up, and Hook wants to move on from Emma.

The Walking Dead

All seems calm in Alexandria. Carol is back and on the porch having a smoke. Morgan is practicing free masonry. Rick comes by to see Morgan. Morgan is building a jail cell to give him some choices next time.

Why are we seeing the same scene we just saw? Different perspectives? Yes. Carol examines her rosary and Rosita gets dressed.

Daryl takes a toy soldier out of a pouch and tosses it aside. Carol comes by and he asks for a smoke. They’d better start growing tobacco if they want to keep this up. She asks about the people who stole his bike after he saved them. He says he should have killed them.

Daryl asks what the Saviors did to Carol and Maggie. She says they didn’t do anything.

Spencer asks Rosita what they’re doing. She says dinner, but I think he means about their relationship.

Denise shows Daryl where an apothecary is and asks to go on the next run. He asks how much time she’s spent on the outside. She says none, but she can identify the drugs there. She says she’ll go alone if she has to.

Daryl, Denise and Rosita go on a run. Daryl is having a hard time driving a stick (something I find more unbelievable than zombies existing) and Denise tells him she can drive one. He stops the car and he and Rosita get out. Rosita dispatches a zombie and goes through his pockets.

They get Denise and decide to walk. Rosita wants to take the railroad tracks and separates from Daryl and Denise.

Eugene and Abe discuss being a man. Eugene says, the key to survival is allowing oneself to be shaped by the environment. He says he’s changed and adapted and he’s a survivor. Abe says keep telling yourself that.

Denise and Daryl meet Rosita at the crossroad. Denise asks Rosita who taught her to fight. She says a lot of people taught her a lot of things. Everyone is a font of information tonight. They approach the apothecary and Daryl opens the door with a crowbar.

Abe and Eugene enter a building. Abe asks what they’re doing. Eugene says they’re going to manufacture bullets, using spent casings. I’m not sure why someone hasn’t suggested this before, even though Abe acts like it’s “outside the box” thinking. A zombie comes in and Eugene wants to be the one to kill it, but it has metal over it’s head and Abe steps in. Eugene says he had dibs and Abe says he’d have better luck picking up a turd by the clean end. Eugene says killing zombies is in his skill set and Abe says manufacturing bullets is in his skill set. Eugene says he doesn’t need Abe or his protection anymore. Abe tells Eugene to find his own way back. Why did Eugene act like such a d-bag there?

Commercial break. Fear 462. Potential zombie dispatched. Obrecht freaking out. Plane window cracked.

Rosita, Daryl and Denise enter the apothecary. They find the pharmacy area. Rosita breaks open the gate. Daryl says they’re going to take everything. They probably should. They’ll need it sooner or later. They hear some noises and Denise decides she’s going to kill whatever it is. What is up with the minor characters proving their bravery tonight?

Denise opens a door to an empty crib and a bunch of garbage. There’s a zombie wearing a cast on the floor and a sink full of blood with a little sneaker floating in it. WTF? Denise runs out of the room and goes outside. She sits on the sidewalk and is bummed by everything.

Daryl and Rosita come out. Daryl tells her she did good finding the place. Rosia says she tried to tell Denise she wasn’t ready. They walk back to the car.

Denise tells Daryl about her brother Denis. She says he was brave and angry, a dangerous combination. Daryl says it sounds like they had the same brother. Denise approaches a car and a zombie pops up making us both jump. She thinks there’s a cooler in the car they can use. Daryl tells her forget it, but she decides to try anyway. The zombie grabs her and they tumble to the ground. Denise makes her first zombie kill. Guess she was a little ready. She throws up. Okay, maybe not so much ready. She lost her glasses in the frey and finds soda in the cooler. Daryl says she could have died. She says if you want to live, you take chances. He says, for a couple of sodas? She says, no, just his one

Rosita asks if she’s that’s stupid. Denise asks her if she is. Denise says she’s training for this, and not making it up to go along. She says she asked them to be with her because Daryl is brave and Rosita is stronger than she thinks she is, giving Denise hope. She says she cold have gone with Tara and told her she loved her, but she was afraid. She says she needed to do this and can’t believe they’re not being supportive. She says they’re strong and they’re smart and —

Hole m-f-ing-f! Denise gets an arrow though the eye while she’s talking and a huge group of guys come out of the woods. They have Eugene. I think I’ve stopped breathing forever.

Dwight, on of the people who stole Daryl’s bike, asks Daryl if he has something to say. Nope. A couple of the men pat Rosita and Daryl down on the ground. Daryl says he should have killed him. Dwight says yeah, he probably should have, and asks who brought this on who? He says she wasn’t who he was aiming for. He says it’s not how they like to start new business arrangements, but he didn’t start this. By the way, he used Daryl’s crossbow to kill Denise.

Rosita asks what they want. He says they’re going to let them into Alexandria and take whatever or whoever they want, or they’re going to blow all three of their brains out. Eugene tells them to start with whoever is hiding behind the barrels and that he deserves it more than they do.

One of the guys goes to check it out and Eugene bites Dwight in the man parts. Chaos ensues with everybody shooting and then zombies joining the mix. I still haven’t started breathing again. Dwight manages to escape getting shot and those who are left flee into the woods. Daryl starts to follow, but Rosita stops him.

Wow. This sux. Eugene is wounded too. Rosita says the f-word, even though we don’t hear it. Denise lies dead on the railroad tracks.

The rest make it back to Alexandria. Eugene tells Abe he wasn’t trying to kill him and asks for an apology for trashing his skills. Abe apologizes and says welcome to stage two. Abe goes to see Sasha. She asks if he’s okay. He says she told him he has choices and that she does too. He says it could be 30 years for them there. She asks him to come inside.

Daryl and Carol bury Denise. Carol tells Daryl he was right.

Carol leaves a note for Tobin. She says she didn’t want it to end this way. They have everything they need and other people want it. She says she loves them all and would have to kill for them and she can’t. She says she wound up staying, but can’t anymore. She can’t love anyone because she can’t kill for anyone and asks that they not come after her. It’s thar same beginning scene again and Morgan sees Carol’s empty swing.

Next week, Rick gets a message, Daryl goes off on his motorcycle (presumably not to find himself), and Rick tells everyone to get ready for a fight.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — The Reunion — Part One

Kandi is looking awesome and says baby Ace is doing well. Kim looks the best I’ve seen her like she’s channeling Marilyn Monroe. We take a trip down Memory Lane with some flashbacks from the season.

Andy asks why gave the best shade, and called Phaedra “Shadera.” Ha-ha! We go over some insults from the past season. Kenya gets into it with Phaedra pretty quickly. Go for it, Kenya, because I’ve started to dislike Phaedra intensely.

Andy asks Porsha about trashing Kenya’s new product and she says it was fun. Either she didn’t understand the question or she’s even more stupid than I thought. Next up is Kandi’s baby and family drama. After the flashbacks, Todd joins the group. Baby Ace has over 100K Instagram followers. And they haven’t even shown a picture of him yet. I’m speechless.

They talk about the restaurant venture. They’re hoping to open on Kandi’s birthday. They follow with TMI about Kandi’s breast milk.

Andy asks Sheree how it’s been being back on the show. Sheree says it was all good. They talk about Kim’s first season. Are there more flashbacks than usual? Andy asks Kim if she thinks the show is a good fit for her. She says it was entertaining. Andy asks the other women what they think. It’s a no for Kenya. She says Kim is pretty condescending. Kandi says Kim doesn’t want to deal with confrontation and a that’s what a lot of the show is about. Phaedra and Porsha kind of say the same thing, that she doesn’t engage and is judgmental. Porsha says she expected her to be “the aunt” of the group. Kim says she’s more opinionated than judgmental. Cynthia says she didn’t really hang out with the group and Kim says most people don’t know she’s shy.

They talk about the trip to Washington. Kim says it was presented as an educational tool. Sheree asks why she thought it wasn’t appropriate for the kids then. Sheree says it was a good experience for her son, however, he is nineteen and Kim’s kids are still pretty small. Personally, I think Kim is a compelling choice for the show, but she did seem like she didn’t want to be a part of it a lot of the time. I understand wanting some free travel and a weekly paycheck, but still.

The topic of Phaedra not paying Todd for the exercise video comes up. Well, Andy brings it up as Chief Pot Stirrer. Phaedra says she’s made every step to move toward a better place. Kandi says they both want things to be better. Kandi brings up several idiotic remarks Phaedra made. Phaedra says again that she’s done what she can and she was annoyed about Apollo’s stuff being at their house without her knowledge.

Phaedra says that Kandi claimed she was trying to get sympathy, but that wasn’t the case, and she’s not fake, she’s just trying to be polite. They talk about Apollo’s stuff again. Kandi says she didn’t think it was any kind of secret. The Todd thing comes up again and we are caught in a loop. Phaedra says she’s paid up now, as of last week. Convenient timing.

Andy asks if Kandi’s “team” overstepped their boundaries. Kandi doesn’t think so, and neither do I. Phaedra says it’s unprofessional for employees to act like friends. They are friends, so how should they behave? Porsha puts in her two cents. If she had half a brain, she’d be dangerous.

The topic of physical violence comes up. Porsha talks about Kenya’s big mouth, but Kenya says she’s never actually put her hands on anyone, unlike Porsha. Andy catches Kenya texting Matt about the dog. Flashbacks about Kim and Kenya’s continuous altercation.

Kim does give Kenya compliments on Kenya’s flair for comedy, and that she’s not afraid to be a pretty girl who’s not playing “pretty.” That’s a nice compliment, although Kenya says that Kim threw shade when she watched Kenya’s pilot with her husband. Kim says her problem isn’t with Kenya’s acting, but with her personally. Sheree wonders where this Kim has been all year.

They talk about the commercial for Cynthia’s eye wear. More talk about Kenya and Kim, and Kenya apologizing to Kim. Porsha, who can’t stand that it’s not about her, talks about her own apology to Kenya for going crazy on her at the last reunion, and says it’s wasn’t accepted. Kenya says that’s because she never apologized. Cynthia tells Porsha she needs to cool down and we see Porsha’s attack on Cynthia. I heard we’re going to see some footage regarding Porsha’s attack on one of her assistants. A budding Naomi Campbell. If she was better looking and had a brain.

Kim is talking about something when Kenya interrupts, then Porsha interrupts Kenya, so I have no idea what anyone just said. Andy asks if Kenya is jealous of Kim. Kenya says Kim was a child star and she can’t compare that, but Kim is in her playing field now and is low man on the totem pole. She talks about Kim acting more high and mighty than she should. She says she’s not personally offended, but thinks Kim is arrogant.

Kandi says she enjoys seeing Kim “boss up,” since she’s usually quiet. Kim gets excited over the support. Kenya talks about Kim and her husband belittling her. Kim interrupts about Kenya interrupting. I’m lost. Kim says interruption is a form of bullying. Kenya says she’s the one who’s been bullied on the show.

Next week, part two, Apollo won’t let go, a revisit to Sheree’s wig pull, Peter joins the group, and Porsha accuses Kenta of dating a married one-eyed African. Is he rich?

I Am Cait

It’s snowing in New Mexico. The ladies meet for breakfast. Candis has a date. Candis says she’s not that excited, since her online dating experience so far as been dismal.

Cait’s new driver’s license arrives. The photo is great, but both Kim and Kourtney helped her get ready, so that’s cheatinh. Cait says it’s kind of like throwing old Bruce out the door. Cait says he was a good person who did a lot of good things, and in some ways didn’t deserve to disappear, but she had to move forward. It’s not that she wanted to throw him away; he just wasn’t her. It’s a huge moment and she gives a mini eulogy.

Cait is gong to NY to receive Glamour’s Woman of the Year award and says it’s for all of them.

Candis is about to meet her date. Cait says she sees what the other women go through and thinks the rejection is difficult. While the ladies have drinks at one of the bar’s tables, Candis waits at another table for her date. Who doesn’t show. Zackary and Cait join her. Candis goes back to the table with everyone. Geez.

The ladies go to a farm that has animal therapy to pet Silkie chickens. They’re pretty cute. The producer asks Candis if she can relate the chicken experience to her dating situation and she makes a cock joke. The therapist says that it’s hard to tell whether Silkies are male or female. The irony isn’t lost.

Next is a Salsa class. The dancing, not the dip. Cait says she’s not comfortable dancing with guys. She’s afraid that the tabloids will get pictures as well. Candis says Cait hasn’t embraced that part of her feminine side yet and says she’ll be her dancing partner. I can totally understand why Cait would be uncomfortable here.

It’s time for Cait to leave for NYC. The rest of the group is going on to Tulsa. Candis talks about a friend of hers who works a drag show in Chicago. She wants to do a number with her and Chandi. Chandi says she misses the old days when she used to perform.

They stop at a restaurant and aren’t allowed to eat there. The restaurant owner didn’t want them there when he found out what show was being filmed. Kind of sad. Next is a rock climbing gym. These girls have more energy than I could ever hope to have. I would have been totally bummed after the restaurant scene too. Chandi breaks a nail and she’s done. They’ve also joined up with two male trans models who they invite to dinner.

They reconvene at a place called Legends that has a mechanical bull. What vitamins do they take? Candis considers dating a trans guy.

Cait is getting her makeup done. She talks about how her greatest fear was once being thought of as a freak, and how everyone has been so accepting. She gets to the red carpet. Kylie is supposed to be her date, but she’s late, so Cait has to go on by herself.

Kylie meets Cait at the hotel later. She says her dressed totally ripped, but Cait says they could have worked around it. Cait says she’s disappointed, but at least Kylie made it for the actual award show, which I guess we don’t get to see.

The rest of the gang heads for Chicago. I’m exhausted just watching this episode. Cait meets them there. Candis tells Cait about the drag show. Debbie Downer Jenny says that some come from a showbiz universe and some don’t, but she looks at things from a different perspective. Instead of seeing life as a performance, she wants to see it in reality. (Can’t it be both?) Chandi talks about how those were the roots and the saving grace of many a trans person, and while she gets where Jenny is coming from, she’s surprised she doesn’t understand the other side of it as well.

Chandi talks to Candis about how Jenny feels about drag. Candis says that Jenny and Cait come from a different place, and they hid things differently. Chandi says drag helped save her from being a gay boy in a closet. She talks about her parents, who sound like good people. She starts to cry and Candis hugs her. She works with young people and takes a lot of their problems to heart, even though she comes off as happy-go-lucky most of the time.

Out to the bar at the hotel. Cait is wearing a really cool graphic sweater that has a tape measure across it. The girls are mingling. Candis says Cait doesn’t know how to flirt with men and wants to leave. Cait goes back to her room.

She and Candis get together for some girl talk before bed. Candis says she’s hoping Cait will be open to new dating situations. Cait says she sees the struggle of going out with someone and then them not wanting to be seen together and says she couldn’t handle it. Candis asks what her main fear is, and Cait says she hasn’t even been able to approach the subject with a man yet.

Cait says she thought about bringing up the possibility of her dating to Kylie, and she couldn’t even think about it. Cait says her dating a man might be confusing for the kids. Candis says she’s allowed to go out and have fun and experiment. Cait says maybe it will help thinking of it as an experiment. Candis says they both need to broaden their horizons.

Jenny and Zackary talk about the show. Jenny says she wants to celebrate everyone’s way of being, but also celebrate her own. Zackary says the trans community is split on the issue, but friends should support each other. She says embracing differences is Jenny’s challenge. Jenny says she understands that the drag world saved Chandi’s life.

It’s been a long time since Chandi performed and she’s nervous. Candis does a performance with another performer and they introduce Chandi — now Chandelier. Of course she’s fabulous.

Cait says everyone is taking risks on the trip, and even Jenny is shoving dollar bills in Chandi’s bra. Chandi says it was a reconnecting moment with yourself. She says no matter who you are you can enjoy drag.

Next week, a protest, public speaking and the democratic debate.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Is it over yet? Where did these women come from anyway? I actually like the Australian guy the best.

Gizelle is meeting with a skin chemist. She’s starting a makeup an skincare line. The chemist says they need a focus group and Gizelle knows just the women.

It’s Katie’s twins’ birthday. She and Andrew have the same couch pillow I do. It’s in a Southwestern design with a buffalo on it. Katie tells Andrew she needs a vacation from her vacation. I’ll bet. She tells him about the sister circle and how it was a downer. She leaves out the part about Gizelle being an idiot. She’s also decided to put casino night on the back burner for a few months because she has other things that need her attention. And one of them isn’t going to be Gizelle’s focus group either.

Karen is planning an event in memory of her mother-in-law to fight against Altzheimers. She wants it to be a magical evening, as well as an informative one. Karen’s husband joins them and Karen asks for entertainment suggestions. Karen’s assistant gives him some options, but he wants to scale it down. He asks for time alone with Karen and they discuss it. He feels his mother’s death is still too raw for such a huge event.

Gizelle has rented a bar to do the focus groups. I’ve done focus groups and this is pretty swanky. Usually, you just sit around a table and discuss. Ashley approaches Gizelle about the incident at the beach. Gizelle says it wasn’t so much that her husband showed up, but that some of the girls (i.e. Karen) felt disrespected. Charrisse has decided she wants to let go of petty things.

Gizelle, who is light-skinned with green eyes, says when she was growing up, people pegged her as mean or stuck up because of the way she looked. She says she didn’t come into her own beautywise until she was in her 40s.

Karen says it’s similar to Bare Minerals, but she’s supportive. Katie is a no-show, which Karen finds rude.

Katie is busy with the Rost Foundation, or as she says, real work. I have news for her, at my age, makeup is real work.

After the focus group, there’s food and drink for the ladies. Ashley decides to approach Karen. Karen feels it was rude of Michael to just show up the way he did. She says immaturity wrecked the weekend. Gizelle suggests they agree to disagree and let the men settle any beef. Ashley wonders what the men might do. Duel?

Robyn and Juan are still in limbo over whether or not he got an out-of-state coaching job. Robyn tells him about the beach trip. She tells him about how she had to room with Gizelle, but it made her feel nostalgic. They talk about when they met. Juan remembers that they talked about The Young and the Restless. They’re putting together some kind of storage cabinet. Robyn says the reason she doesn’t want to get back together with him totally is because of his cheating in the past.

Karen and Ashley meet for golf with their husbands. Karen is hoping the men can iron (no pun intended) things out about the beach incident. Why anything needs to be ironed out is beyond me and I think Ashley feels the same way.

Karen tells Ray that she and Ashley have come to an impasse. Michael feels he did nothing wrong, but is open to hearing what the problem was. Ray says he doesn’t need Michael seeing his wife in skimpy outfits as girls are wont to wear at these things. The guys make jokes and they move to the next hole. Karen feels like she was finally heard, and Ashley is glad to be back in Karen’s good graces, but this all seems ridiculous to me. While I understand what Karen’s gripe is, to go on about it at this level is insane.

Charrisse is about to turn 50. She says water is a sign of new beginnings, so she’s going to learn to swim. She had a bad experience with snorkeling when she was younger, and didn’t get back in the water again. I can’t imagine not taking every opportunity possible to get in the water.

Karen is flower shopping for her event. She’s looking for cherry blossoms, but they’re only available in the spring. Karen won’t believe it, but you’d think that’s something she would know living in the DC area. They get some kind of roses instead.

Everyone is getting ready for Karen’s event. Katie is actually going to two different events and is going to change in the car. Karen has turned this into a launching party for a bigger gala later.

I hate to say this, but this looks like anybody else’s party. Katie is a little startled too, so at least I know it’s not me. Don’t get me wrong, she’s got an amazing house, but the decor is basically little tables with rose centerpieces scattered throughout the dining room. Gizelle says something to Katie about not showing up for the focus group, and Katie pretends to be sorry.

Karen tells the girls all about how Ray gave Michael “the business” at the golf course. Really? Ray gives the floor to Karen. Ashley and Michael are at the door and the bell repeatedly rings as she’s speaking. The jazz musicians hired for the event finally answer the door. Of course Karen is appalled by this behavior.

Ashley tells Gizelle there was no business to give and wonders what Karen has been telling people. At this point, she says Karen isn’t approaching her efforts or respecting her. Ashley tells the other girls that Karen doesn’t want her daughter around them. Karen comes by and says she never said that; she said she didn’t want her daughter hanging out with Ashley specifically.

Karen says she’s done with Ashley. She says the last straw for her was Ashley saying something about her daughter. Charrisse says she has to apologize to Karen. Ashley tells Michael that Karen is upset with her. Michael says apparently they’re not wanted there. Karen makes sure to let the others know that she only meant her daughter is not to be around Ashley, who is closer to her age. For some reason it’s this huge deal that Ashley spoke her daughter’s name and it seems to have turned Karen into Maleficent.

Next week, we continue to be tortured, Gizelle’s kids want her to get a boyfriend, Karen and Ray are empty nesters, Juan has to make a job decision, and Charrisse has a birthday.

Mar14

March 13, 2016 — Fairy Tales, Trans Tales & Wives Tales

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hook is told by his cell mate, Meg, that he can’t escape. He says he’s not going to sit around and rot, and that someone is there to save him. Meg asks how he knows it isn’t a trick. He says when you love someone, you know. They both make a break for it. Meg gets out, but Hook is stopped by Cerebus, the three-headed dog. He tells Meg to find Emma.

Snow and David are wandering the graveyard. She says they were all her subjects and she was supposed to protect them. She wonders how they can protect their daughter, but David says she’s not alone this time.

Young Snow’s kingdom is being terrorized. She isn’t sure what to do, but Regina tells her that everything will be fine. Snow runs out of the palace and into the woods. She falls into a hole and a young man saves her. It’s Hercules.

Snow sees Herc’s grave and tells David that she and Hercules were friends when they were young. She says if he’s there, he has unfinished business and they have to help him move on. If they help him, he can help them.

Regina says there’s no sign of Hook in the North Woods. She sends Robin with Henry to get some maps from her office. Emma sees blood on a plant and she and Regina follow the trail. They find Meg who says she can take them to Hook. They hear the roar of Cerebus close behind.

Emma and Regina go to Snow and David’s underworld apartment. Meg tells them that Hook is in an underground cave. She tells them about Cerebus and how nothing can defeat him. Snow and David show up and Snow says she knows exactly how he can be defeated.

Young Herc tells Snow about his demi-godness. She wonders how she’s going to defeat the kingdom’s foes, and Herc says he’ll teach her. She doesn’t think she can do it, but Herc says he’ll show her how to stand up to her enemies. He shows her medals he’s won for various labors, kind of like Scout badges. His last labor is defeating Cerebus and he wants to spend as much time with her as possible before he has to leave.

Regina goes to the diner which is run by the witch from Hansel and Gretel. She tells them that Hercules comes in there on his lunch break. Apparently, he works on the docks, which is where Snow finds him.

Snow asks how Herc died, but he says it’s not important. He asks why she’s there and she says to help her daughter. Snow tells him there’s a way for him to leave the underworld. Herc says he never finished his final labor and Snow tells him Cerebus is there. She tells him what he once told her, that you can’t let fear of failure stop you from trying.

Hades pops in on Hook. He sees Hook has been bitten by Cerebus and tells him the dog’s master isn’t nearly as friendly.

Robin and Henry have difficulty getting into Regina’s office because Cora has it locked up. Henry goes through the ventilation system. Cruella is waiting for them and asks Henry how his mother has been since she killed Cruella.

Herc leads the others to where Hook is and tells them to wait.

Young Snow comes upon some of her subjects being shaken down. She threatens them with her bows and arrows, but ends up dropping the quiver and arrows go everywhere. Herc steps in, and the villains leave, but the head bandit says Herc can’t protect her forever.

Behind Snow’s back, Regina is meeting with the head bandit. She’s been working with them to defeat Snow, so that the people will realize she’s the only queen for them.

Herc meets Cerebus, drops his sword and runs. Where’s Kevin Sorbo when you need him? Kevin Sorbo wouldn’t have run. Snow is about to draw her bow, when Hades calls Cerebus off. Regina asks why hell looks like Storybrooke, but he won’t tell her. He does let her know that Cerebus killed Herc, who is also his nephew. He tells Snow the next time she interferes with his family, he’ll interfere with hers.

Emma says they have to find Hook. Hades shows her Hook’s bloody hook. She asks what Hades did to him, and Hades says she shouldn’t worry about what he’s done, but what he’s about to do. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke.

Henry asks what Cruella wants. She says she wants his help. She wants to go back to the real world. She misses the music, the gin, the glamour and the gin. He says he destroyed the quill, and she says when he did that, he sent the quill to the underworld. She says if she comes back to life, his mother is no longer a murderer and can be restored to the pure soul she once was.

Snow is ready to throw in the towel. Regina says she was on the losing end of a battle with Snow and became her friend, which is pretty phenomenal. Regina says they don’t need Mary Margaret anymore. They need Snow White.

Young Snow is also feeling defeated. She tells Herc she doesn’t want to be Snow White anymore and she was crazy to think she could stand up to the bandits. Herc says no one wins every battle, especially their first one. He says his first labor nearly killed him, and he won by accident. He says if he’d never failed, he wouldn’t hae figured out how to succeed.

In Hades, Snow is trying to convince Herc to help them. She asks how Cerebus killed him and he says since Cerebus has three heads, he shouldn’t have fought him alone. Snow says he won’t be alone this time.

At the apartment, Cerebus comes crashing through the ceiling. Cool!

The bandits are at it again and Snow tells them to lay off and get lost. She draws the bow on them. At first the guy laughs, but her next arrow means business and it gets the subjects moving too. They pick up pitchforks and whatever else they can get their hands on, making me wonder why they didn’t do this before. The villains drop their weapons and leave. Herc says Snow doesn’t need him any more and she’s going to make an amazing queen. She says he’s not a bad demi-god himself. They kiss.

The Storybrooke gang splits up. Snow and Herc find Meg, but Cerebus is right behind them. They dash into the nearest building. Snow says they have to get all three heads at once and Herc gives Meg a dagger. Cerebus comes busting through the wall and they get each of the heads. Cerebus disappears, poof! in a cloud of black smoke.

Herc tells Meg he thinks they’ve met before. She says he’s the boy who tried to save her and Cerebus killed her after he killed Herc. He says he’s sorry and Meg says he made up for it just now. Snow says maybe Cerebus wasn’t Herc’s only unfinished business and that he was supposed to save Meg too. Snow says she doesn’t want to be Mary Margaret any more; she wants to be Snow White again.

Henry tells Robin he couldn’t find anything in the office.

Meg gives Emma a map to find Hook and says to thank him for her. Herc tells Snow he was right and that she became an amazing hero. He and Meg join hands and head for Olympus, as their unfinished business is now finished.

Hades is pretty pissed that Hook helped Meg escape. He gives Hook some kind of stick. He says Hook’s friends have caused too much damage. He says for every soul they free, one of them will have to stay and Hook has to decide who.

Next week, Gold and Hades do battle, and Hook has to make a decision.

The Walking Dead

Maggie and Carol are captured. A redhead, who we learn later is Paula, sees Rick and the gang through binoculars and tells them over the loudspeaker to lower their weapons. Rick says come out and let’s talk. She says they won’t come out but they’ll talk and tells Rick they have Carol and Maggie.

Rick says they have one of theirs and let’s trade. Rick says they can have their guy, Primo, back if they give up Carol and Maggie. The group argues among themselves. Paula says she’ll get back to him.

Maggie and Carol get coats throw over their heads and are shoved into a car. Paula is trying to contact other Saviors to meet them at some contact point. Maggie and Carol are taken to a “safe house,” where they’re bound and gagged. Paula tells them don’t even think about a way out. She says she’s itching to kill them, so just try and see what happens.

As soon as she’s gone, Maggie tries cutting her bonds on a concrete post. Carol seriously starts to freak out and hyper-ventilate. Paula comes back with an older lady and a wounded guy. They finally take the gags off of Carol and Maggie. Older Lady tells Carol to take some yoga breaths. Carol holds a rosary and Older Lady says, oh, you’re one of those. One of whats?

Paula asks Carol if she’s afraid to die. Carol says it doesn’t matter what happens to her, but don’t hurt Maggie and the baby. Paula tells Maggie it’s pretty stupid to get knocked up at a time like this. Paula says the point is to stay standing. Maggie says walkers do that and she’s doing something brave. Older Lady is having a cigarette, and Maggie says something about the baby. Older Lady says she has a lot worse problems than second hand smoke. Carol tells her cigarettes will kill her. Older Lady coughs up blood and says they already have.

Wounded Guy isn’t doing well. Paula says in 30 minutes the crew will be there. Maggie says he doesn’t have 30 minutes. He needs to lose the arm. She suggests they talk to Rick. Paula tells Wounded Guy 30 minutes. He gets all bent out of shape and wants to kill Carol and Maggie, or at least shoot Carol in the arm. Paula tells him to shut up. He goes after Carol and Maggie knocks him down and then head butts him. He gets up and starts kicking Carol, but Paula stops him. She tells one of the others to take Maggie out and see if she knows anything.

Some girl interrogates Maggie. She wants to know where Rick and the gang are holed up, and says Maggie’s people are not the good guys. Maggie throws up.

Carol thanks Paula for helping them. Carol says her husband used to beat her. Paula says she doesn’t care and she knows exactly who Carol is, pathetic. (Wouldn’t that be what Carol is?) She asks Carol if she really believes in that crap, referring to the rosary. Carol says faith got her through the death of her daughter.

Maggie asks Interrogator Girl what’s up with her missing finger. She says she got caught stealing. Maggie asks about her tattoo that says “Frankie.” She says it was her father’s name and it’s what she was going to name her baby. Maggie says she’s sorry and Interrogator Girl says probably not really. Maggie says she’s not planning on dying today and Interrogator Girl says neither is she, but one of them is wrong.

Paula radios Rick. He says they can make a trade, but she says they haven’t agreed. She says they’ll be taking most of the risk without much reward. Carol tells Paula they don’t have to fight. Paula says Carol’s people killed her people. Carol says the Saviors ambushed them and took everything they had. Paula says they shouldn’t have come to the camp to kill everyone. Carol says their leader is a nut. Older Lady says they’re all Negan. Carol asks what that means. I’d like to know too. Did they eat him?

Older Lady is chain-smoking and Carol asks her for one. Older Lady obliges. Paula tells Carol she’s weak and asks her what she’s afraid of. She says Carol can’t even stick to her own principles. Paula says before the apocalypse, she was a secretary. She tells some story about a carrot, egg, and coffee beans all being boiled. The carrot ends up soft, the egg gets hard, and the coffee beans changed the water. She worked in Washington when the military took over. The important people were evacuated first and she was stuck with her boss instead of her family. She says her boss was weak and stupid, and he was the first person she killed.

She says she’s still alive. Carol says her people are killers. She says Paula is the one who’s afraid to die, and she will. She asks whats’ going to happen if they don’t work things out. Paula asks if Carol is going to kill her and Carol says she hopes not.

Commercial break. Fear 462. A zombie gets a knitting needle to the head.

Paula radios Rick and says they’ll make a trade. She gives him a meeting spot. Paula thinks they’re waiting to kill them the second they come out the door. Carol says Rick is a man of his word and he wouldn’t put her and Maggie at risk. Paula radios her other people and says they have to be ready to move. They don’t take Carol or Maggie, so I guess they’re going to ambush Rick.

Carol gets free of her bonds using the rosary. She finds Maggie and gets her loose. They hug and I yell at them not to waste time. Maggie says they have to finish things. Maggie finds Wounded Guy, but it’s too late, he’s dead.

Older Lady is wandering around the halls and Wounded Now Dead Guy is now Undead Guy and attacks her. Maggie finishes her off from behind and beats the ever-living crap out of her. Paula comes back to everyone gone.

Maggie and Carol have to get past a bunch of zombies to get out. Paula comes up behind them and Carol draws her gun. Paula says go ahead since Rick and company have taken everything anyway. Maggie runs into Interrogator Girl in the hallway. They fight and Carol shoots her. Paula, who’s gotten shot in the leg, says she gets Carol’s deal now, but what was she so afraid of? Carol says she told her to run. She says she was afraid of this, meaning shooting Paula, but her hesitation costs her. Paula knocks the gun out of her hand and they tussle. Paula ends up getting impaled on a pipe and eaten by a zombie. She should have run when Carol told her to. Carol tells Rick to meet them.

The people Paula had radioed come back. Carol lights up some gasoline on the floor and they’re burned alive. Geez. Carol and Maggie walk past all the damage. Paula is now a zombie and Maggie kills her.

They open the door to Rick and the rest of their people. Rick tells Primo he might as well talk. Rick asks him how he got the bike. Primo says they found it. He says he’s Negan and Rick shoots him in the head. Geez. Is that it after such a big build-up or did the Primo/Negan guy lie? Carol clutches the rosary so hard, her hand starts to bleed.

Next week, Daryl plays with a toy soldier, Eugene meets a zombie and there’s lots more fighting.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Worst. Taglines. Ever. Except for Kandi. I’m thinking maybe they’ve run out of taglines, since none of the other cities are that great either this season.

Phaedra is planning a holiday party. She’s bouncing ideas off of Porsha and thinks she might do some clog dancing to entertain the guests. I’m speechless.

Kandi and Todd visit his mother’s grave. He says she was the life of the party and it’s sad that she won’t be there for the birth of her grandson. We flash back to some happy scenes with her. Kandi’s baby kicks like he’s saying hi to his grandma.

A story has hit the tabloids that the Feds were at their house looking for Apollo’s motorcycle. He apparently owes the government quite a bit. I’m sure Phaedra distanced herself and her money from that.

Porsha and Phaedra talk about the motorcycle. Porsha says she heard Cynthia and Peter have some of Apollo’s stuff too. Phaedra says she wouldn’t be surprised, since Apollo spent more time at the bar with Peter than he did with his kids.

Matt brings Kenya two Yorkie puppies. We flash back to Kenya’s dog, Velvet, who passed away last season. She names them Twirl and King. Kenya tells Matt she’s been invited to Phaedra’s holiday party. She says she grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, so her family didn’t celebrate holidays. She says she doesn’t know if there’s going to be drama because it’s going around that Phaedra is the one who called the Feds abut the bike. Matt says at least Kenya isn’t involved. Kenya has to run interference between her shoes and the puppies.

Cynthia and her sister, Malorie, are moving furniture. Cynthia is setting up a massage table. Malorie leaves and Cynthia gets some ambiance going. When Peter comes home, she tells him she’s going to be his masseuse and that she’s booked a massage with a very happy ending for him. Too bad I can’t unhear that. Or unsee the rest of this scene.

Ha-ha! Cynthia’s daughter is supposed to be out with her dad, but she isn’t. Awkward.

Commercial break. I suddenly forgot which show I was watching.

Porsha, accompanied by sister Lauren, is at a fertility specialist. She’s not ready to have a baby right now (please don’t breed), but wants to make sure that when she is, everything is fine. She doesn’t even remember that she’s divorced or when her last period was. She says if she can’t carry a baby, Lauren can do it for her. Why not? She does everything else.

The doctor comes in. The doctor tells her that her fibroids are back. They’re small though, so the doctor says a pregnancy should be fine. Porsha asks about her biological clock, and the doctor says she had her own children at ages 38 and 42.

Dwight is setting things up at a spa for Phaedra’s party. Phaedra is also celebrating her divorce. It looks bright and festive, and I’m jealous of Dwight’s boutonniere brooch.

Ho-ho-ho! It’s party time. In reality crossover fashion, Miss Juicy from Little Women: Atlanta is one of the elves. Ayden is also dressed as an elf and will be giving out coal as needed. Sheree has brought Bob, who desperately wants to get back together. She says she’s open to it, but she’s not going to make it easy.

Porsha shows up with Shamea and they’re both barely dressed. Phaedra’s friend, Tammy, is there. Bob has told Sheree that he slept with Tammy, who claims they didn’t, so there’s some awkward tension when Tammy confronts Bob about it. Bob suddenly changes his tune and says they didn’t sleep together and he never said that they did.

Kenya shows up dressed like the Grinch, complete with green body paint. Bob tells Sheree not to hold him to who he used to be. They kiss sans mistletoe.

Peter asks Todd if Phaedra ever paid him back. Not quite, but he’s done with the whole thing. Nene sits next to Kandi, and we flash back to their personality clashes. Nene claims to be in a better place now. She says Kandi is usually making faces at her. Now that she mentions it, Kandi does make a lot of faces. Nene says they should press the restart button ion their friendship and Kandi agrees.

Kim thanks Phaedra for helping her through her first months on the show. She says if Phaedra ever needs her help with the boys, just ask. Nene brings up the Feds and Kandi says she’s keeping Phaedra at a distance until she can figure out where they’re at. The Feds went to Cynthia’s house as well, and Kenya suggests maybe Phaedra made the call. Cynthia says whenever anybody tried to help Apollo, they ended up in trouble. I’ve already forgotten what he looks like.

Phaedra joins the conversation and acts like she doesn’t know what’s up with the Feds thing, calling it crazy. The floor is cleared. Kim’s husband does a dance routine.

This was the finale, but the only interesting endings are that Kim will be Dancing with the Stars and Porsha will be on Celebrity Apprentice.

Next week, The Reunion, part one — Matt and Chris tangle and just about everyone else does too.

I Am Cait

All is quiet on the bus. Welcome to New Mexico. Cait says she put everyone to sleep with her political talk.

The bathroom ventilation isn’t working properly and everyone is complaining loudly. One of the ladies says it smells like a “cow barn.” The subject of the word “tranny” comes up and an informal poll is taken as to whether it’s offensive. Jenny does find it offensive, which is no surprise since she’s so easily offended. She compares it to the word “faggot.” She says someone once beat her and used that word while they were doing it. She says words can hurt as much as violence can, which is very true. Kate says it’s a word that was stolen from them, but when she uses it, it’s with love and compassion. Jenny says they look at things differently, but it’s asking a lot for her to look at it that way. Kate says Jenny can ask a lot of her as well. Kate says she identifies as a non-binary trans person. Jenny asks if they’re going to be having this conversation during the whole trip. Kate says she will be coming back to the subject.

Cait’s mother has won a support award from the LGBT community. A discussion about Donald Trump follows. While Cait isn’t a fan, she says he’d be good for a lot of issues, including women’s issues. When confronted with a Donald or Hilary question from Kate, Cait says she’d never vote for Hilary because she’s not going to address the economic issues. Candis is a huge Hilary supporter, but Cait brings up the overabundance of Hilary’s lies. Candis says Cait doesn’t discuss politics, she bombards you. Cait says just because she’s transitioned, doesn’t mean she suddenly became a liberal.

Candis tells Jenny she got in a screaming match with Cait about Hilary and removed herself from the conversation. Candis feels Cait was disrespectful and loud. Continuing the conversation with a few of the other ladies, Cait asks for one good thing Hilary has done. Zackery asks where the anger is coming from and doesn’t want to engage if Cait is going to yell. Zackery gives an example of a trans issue, but Cait says that’s good for them, but not America as a whole. Zackery feels that she keeps getting interrupted and doesn’t want to discuss it any further. Jenny says the bus has never felt this small. Zackery says Cait is “coming for” her, but I don’t see it that way. Frankly, I think that’s just part of Cait’s personality and they seem to be the ones bringing up politics. If you know this is the result, and you’re going to be offended, why start it?

The girls arrive in Santa Fe. Wendy, who is some kind of cruise director, says they’ll be seeing their rooms first and then going to dinner. Jenny says it’s like her worst nightmare, she’s having a conversation with Kate she doesn’t want to have and Cait is talking politics. They sit down to dinner and Jenny suggests joining hands before the meal.

To change the subject, Cait talks about getting a Woman of the Year award from Glamour magazine. She asks everyone what being a woman means to them. Jenny says one isn’t born a woman, but becomes one, and they all define womanhood on their own terms. Cait says she doesn’t know if she’ll ever figure it out. Zackery says sometimes your mind is ahead of your body or vice versa, and Cait hasn’t caught up to herself yet.

Kate says she didn’t come out until after her father died. She said if she had told him, he would have sat Shiva for his son. She recalls the conversation between her and each of her parents, ending with her mother eventually calling her Kate. Jenny says it’s impossible to hate anyone whose story you know and realizes that she needs to get back on track with Cait.

Commercial break. Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn (VH1) looks promising. Lindsay Lohan’s parents are cast members. Need I say more?

The girl are going horseback riding. Cait thinks it’s time to get off the bus for a while. One of the girls thinks it would be fun to play “Fluffy Bunny.” This involves putting marshmallows in your mouth and saying “fluffy bunny.” They don’t have marshmallows, so they use mini powdered donuts.

Chandi has never gone horseback riding and her first lesson is, don’t step in horse poop. The horse starts to go backward and I’m sure is sensing Chandi’s fear. Finally, she gets the horse going in the right direction. Jenny feels like Cait has been a bully and it needs to be addressed.

Back on the bus, there’s TMI about vibrators.

Back at the hotel, the girls toast to themselves. Kate talks about how she and Jenny talked, and though their approaches are at logger-heads, but their goals are the same and they really listened to one another. Kate confesses that she wanted to get a rise out of Cait by posing the Donald or Hilary question. She says she left the conversation because of Cait’s anger. Jenny says Kate isn’t the only one who was uncomfortable. Cait says she realizes she looks at the issues differently. Jenny says it isn’t about the issues and that Cait scared some of the women. Really? It must not take much.

Candis says she feels that Cait doesn’t listen sometimes. Cait agrees and says she can get excited when trying to prove a point. Jenny asks that Cait deal with them in gentleness and love. Cait admits to being aggressive when it comes to politics and it’s the feminine side she has to work on. Zackery says there’s been too much in-fighting in their own community and they have to set an example. Cait apologizes to Candis

The ladies are meeting with the mayor. They recently passed an ordinance regarding gender neutrality with single seat public bathrooms. I’m all for that. If I have to go, I don’t want to wait if a bathroom is empty just because it says men on it. Although Cait was supposed to change the signage, because Kate has had such grief over bathroom issues, she asks Kate to do it instead. Kate says she feels included and respected.

Next week, Candis has a date, Candis gets stood up (maybe) and Cait changes her driver’s license

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Isn’t this show over yet? Nope. Not yet. And what does Gizelle mean by she’s the word on the street? More idiotic taglines. It makes it sound like she’s a hooker.

Charrisse is doing a “sister circle,” a bonding experience for the ladies. Robyn shares about a best friend she and her ex-husband had who stole their money. She says they fell into a ponzi scheme and lost almost everything. She says she doesn’t know who she can trust anymore. Ashley feels guilty for discussing Robyn’s bankruptcy with Katie, which she should. She has no business bringing that up to anyone.

Gizelle asks Katie about her charity event. Katie says she has new host committee members. Ashley thinks there’s something deeper going on, but Katie says she doesn’t feel like going deep tonight. So Charrisse does it for her, bringing up the make-out session between Andrew and Katie at the party. Katie says she had a little too much to drink and already apologized. Gizelle asks if she was “on something.” Is Gizelle my grandmother?

Katie goes to lie down, telling Ashley she’s just tired. Yeah, tired of these shade throwing witches.

In the morning, Karen visits Ashley’s room to rehash the sister circle. She wasn’t thrilled with Gizelle sharing about her bathroom habits. You and me both, sista. Gizelle talks to Robyn about what she shared. Robyn says that the friend ripping them off was worse than their divorce. Karen tells Ashley she thought what Gizelle brought up about Katie was inappropriate.

Katie is talking to Charrisse and that hanger on whose name I keep missing. Charrisse says that it seemed like Gizelle attacked Katie. Gizelle, who has batlike radar, joins them. Charrisse tells her that Katie felt attacked and that isn’t what the sister circle is about. Katie tells her she didn’t bring up Gizelle’s sex life or something else inappropriate, and she thought Gizelle got too personal.

Hanger on, whose name is Brynel, visits Katie in her room. Katie says she’s spent and she thinks anything that Gizelle brings up is bs. Brynel tells Katie she needs to call Gizelle out and tell her she doesn’t do phony. Karen joins them. Karen says Katie has to stop Gizelle in her tracks or she’ll end up being Gizelle’s whipping boy.

The girls take a field trip to an old time photo place that has Old West costumes. They get a group photo taken. Katie tells Gizelle she was disrespectful. She says she’s not a little girl and she won’t be treated as one. Katie says Gizelle disparaged her character and she won’t have it. She says if Gizelle has any problem with her, she should come to her directly. Gizelle is probably steaming, but she apologizes. In her individual interview, Katie says she’s surprised Gizelle apologized, but then again, she’s a big phony.

Ashley is taking the girls to a drag show that she and Michael always enjoy when they vacation there. First, they have dinner outside at a restaurant with an awesome view. Karen asks Katie how she’s getting Andrew down the aisle. She says she thinks he’s ready, but he wants to surprise her. Karen thinks Andrew should put a ring on it already. They talk about prenups and finances. In her individual interview, Gizelle throws shade at Katie and white people in general.

Robyn asks how Katie would do it differently in this relationship, since she’s been married before. She says she rushed into the first marriage because she’d just turned 30 and felt pressured.

Big phony Gizelle, compliments Ashley on her hostessing skills, even though she was the one Googling hotels in the beginning. Everyone flatters Ashley and she says she feels like the casting results for the school play were just posted and she got the lead. Ashley says all in all, she thinks she did a good job and she wants to go out with a bang.

No gay bar is complete without a disco ball, and there it is. The girls get to dancing and even Karen pats a butt or two. This looks like a fun place. The drag show starts and Michael shows up. Karen gets pissed immediately because it’s supposed to be a girls weekend. She tells Ashley they’re not comfortable with a man sleeping at the house with them. The ladies are leaving and Ashley says that she’s staying a while and she’ll see them later.

Karen says Ashley should respect her feelings. She says Ray wouldn’t appreciate it and he wouldn’t be comfortable with another man in the house. Ashley says she didn’t plan this and Michael surprised her. They suggest Michael stay in a hotel. Katie and Charrisse are the only ones not getting stupid. I’m sure this poor guy thought he was doing a good thing and no good deed goes unpunished.

Robyn understands both sides, but thinks Ashley should have told Michael she’s with the girls this weekend. Charrisse thinks everyone is being ridiculous. When they get back, they have a mini discussion about Michael’s disrespect. Ashley and Michael come back. Ashley says they’re still her guests, but it’s Michael’s home too, and he’s not going to get in their space. Michael says he doesn’t even understand the drama.

Charrisse says the overall concern is how Ashley handled it. Karen says Ashley telling her she didn’t care if Karen was uncomfortable isn’t right. She says she’s done and goes to bed. Michael tries to make jokes, but Gizelle acts like he might attack them in their sleep or something. Robyn thinks Gizelle and Karen should let it go and move on.

Robyn and Charrisse stay up half the night playing beer pong with Brynel, Ashley and Michael. Karen says all her efforts were in vain and the way Ashley has handled things is very disappointing. Off with her head!

Next time, Andrew brings home balloons and I notice we have the same exact throw pillow with a buffalo on it, Ray calls out Michael, and Karen is done with Ashley.