What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

😫 Dog sick. Husband sick. Hoping it doesn’t reflect in the editing.

General Hospital

In the examining room, Carly tells Sonny, it’s always so cold. There’s no clock in there either, like they freeze time while you’re trying to find out if your whole world’s about to change. Kim walks in, saying Carly’s OB asked her to cover the appointment.

Drew meets Jason on the pier. He tells Jason that he had another chat with Shiloh. Shiloh made a point of reaching out, and he wants to know why. Who is this guy? Besides Kim, Shiloh is the only person who remembers Drew’s past. He wants to know what kind of game Shiloh is playing.

Sam goes to The Floating Rib, and meets Shiloh. She has a question. He says he doesn’t have the answers to everything, but she says it’s about him. He tells her, fire away. She asks if, as leader of DOD, does he get a day off, or is he playing hooky? He says right now, he’s just a guy having a cup of coffee with a girl.

Michael meets Kristina at Kelly’s. He asks, is it him, or is she smiling? Kristina says, it happens. He says, it’s great to see proof. She says that’s why she asked him to meet her. She wants to talk about a new direction she’s going in.

Maxie tells Peter that she’s about to find the truth about Sasha.

Sasha goes to the nail salon, and tells the receptionist she has an appointment. It’s probably under Maxie Jones.

Curtis answers Lulu’s door. It’s Margaux, who asks if Lulu is available. She’s there to prep her for the arraignment. Unless she’s not up to facing Franco yet.

Drew tells Jason that he was doing all the talking. Initially, Shiloh was interested in what happened in Afghanistan, but then he told Shiloh about the memory switch with his twin. He seemed caring and concerned, but also too anxious. He only relaxed when Drew told him he wasn’t getting the restoration procedure. Since he claims they were so close, why would he be disappointed? For all that buddy talk, Shiloh seemed relieved that he doesn’t remember anything.

Shiloh tells Sam that the sister loyalty is compelling. She asks if sisters aren’t supposed to be loyal, and he says, of course, but people often find them because other support systems failed. Sam says that makes her so sad, thinking her sister would go to DOD because of that. Shiloh says from what he’s seen, Sam and her mother are devoted to Kristina, Sam says, more than devoted. He says he thought they would be distant, but his take might be tainted because of the last time their lives intersected. She asks if he’s calling her out now, but he says, no. He’s calling himself out for having preconceived notions, thinking she was the same person. She says, who stole his father’s money? He knows as well as she does that people change. She’s not the same person as she was before. Shiloh has no idea who she was before, but he’s more and more captivated by this person.

Peter says, about Maxie’s caper with Sasha… She says, it’s not a caper; it’s a mission. She doesn’t want to jinx it by talking about it anymore. He says he’s going to see Lulu, and Maxie has an idea. She’ll stop by Lulu’s when she’s done, and give him an update. He says he’ll be waiting with bated breath, and she says, as well he should.

Carly tells Kim it’s not urgent; they can reschedule. Kim says they can do that, but it’s not fair that she knows when they don’t. According to the bloodwork, congratulations. Carly is officially pregnant.

Margaux tells Maxie that she’s not required to be at the arraignment, but Lulu says she wants Franco to see her standing on her own two feet, and she wants the judge to look at her before sending that psycho to jail. Her mom will be with her. Margaux says, the mayor, even better. She says today is all about his plea, and if bail will be given. He still insists he didn’t do it. She tells Lulu, when he pleads not-guilty, don’t react, dispute with him, or interact with the judge. She’ll get her chance to talk when they go to trial. She asks if there are any questions, but Lulu says she’s covered everything. Curtis has a question. How is Franco?

Lulu asks how Curtis can ask that about the man who tried to kill her? She hopes he’s miserable, preparing for a lifetime in prison. He says they have an eyewitness, and a mountain of evidence, but Franco still maintains he’s not guilty. He wonders if Franco’s had a complete break with reality. Why throw away everything he’s struggled to build? To kill three people, and attack Lulu with no provocation? Margaux doesn’t care why; just that he did, and she can prove it.

Kristina tells Michael, it’s liberating, letting preconceived notions go, and letting her guard down, being aware in the present moment. She knows it sounds cliché, but Michael says, cliché or not, it’s working for her. She thanks him for not having to defend her choice. Sometimes her family makes her feel like she should keep looking over her shoulder. Michael says he’s also gullible, but she says, only in his personal life, not with business. That’s why she’s come to him for help.

Stella sees Marcus at Kelly’s, and asks him if the seat next to him is taken. She never knows if he’ll be glad to see her or rue the day they met. He says she’s the exact person he needs to be around. She asks, what’s wrong? and he says he’s feeling sorry for himself; the Valentine’s Day blues. She gathers it was different this year. He says he and Yvonne both loved Valentine’s Day. He would get her the biggest box of candy; not even the good kind, just the biggest heart he could find. This year, he got to watch her mooning over another man’s gifts. In his mind, he didn’t take it personally, but in his heart, he had rage. Not at them, but at Alzheimer’s.

Maxie tells Sasha sorry she’s late. She loves the color Sasha chose, and tells her, it looks best on short, square nails. Sasha was just planning on having them filed, but Maxie says, there’s nothing worse than the right color on the wrong execution. Sasha says, okay; trim her nails.

Drew asks if Jason dug up anything else. Jason says Shiloh founded a house in Beechers Corners with a woman named Harmony, whose real name is Lorraine. She was his right hand until he came to Port Charles, and she stayed in Beechers Corners. It seemed like she’s hung up on him, and was upset he moved on without her. Or maybe it’s because he’s interested in Sam, the woman who fleeced his father. Spinelli is doing some digging. Drew tells Jason, if he finds out anything, let him know, and jets.

Sam says she wants to be better, but she wants to see Shiloh; who he is. He says, someone who doesn’t pose a threat to her little sister. She understands why Kristina is there, but wants to find out more about him than the DOD guy. She’s the one who’s compelled now. He suggests they take a trip, and she asks, where? Hawaii? He wants her to take a drive with him. There’s something she needs to see in order to understand. She asks if she can’t have a hint, but he says, nope. He tells her to follow her instincts, and he hopes she makes the right decision.

Curtis admires how Lulu survived, and how she’s determined to move forward to see justice done. But he knows the criminal prosecution system, and at some point, they’ll want to know how she got away. She says she has no idea. He thought hypnosis brought back the entire event. She doesn’t know how it works, but apparently, she got so upset, Doc brought her out of it before she could remember the rest. Curtis asks if she thinks someday she’ll want to know the rest of it. She was thinking about that, and thinks when Franco is put away and she’s sleeping through the night, she’ll ask Doc to put her back under. She thinks it will help her recover. Curtis says she’s very brave. The doorbell rings. Curtis goes to answer it, and Lulu says she’s sure it’s fine. He says, that depends on who you ask. It’s Peter with flowers. He wanted to see Lulu at the hospital, but it was only immediate family – or Maxie. Curtis says he’s taking off, and Lulu thanks him. Peter asks if she’s okay, and she says, all things considered. She’s not 100%, but she’s standing there, and has an incredible story to tell.

Sasha tells Maxie, it seems hypocritical. If not for Valentin, she wouldn’t be in Nina’s life. When she first met him, he admitted his greatest regret was losing Nina. He made it sound like the most romantic thing ever. Maxie is sure it is – to him. She asks for a tissue, and surreptitiously takes the nail clippings out of the trashcan. She says, Nina is too honest and trusting, and expects others to be the same way. Sasha says, in all fairness, Valentin admits to everything Nina called him out on; his crimes and mistakes. Maxie says, that she knows of. If the he was as good at changing as he is at apologizing. Every time he turns over a new leaf, there’s another dirty secret under it.

Kim tells Carly and Sonny that they were spot on about the conception date. The sonogram confirms it. She’s six weeks along. They look at the sono, and Carly says, their baby.

Sasha tells Maxie that she did her best to discourage Nina from accepting Valentin’s proposal. She brought up Nina’s doubts, their history, and his history. Maxie wonders how it backfired, and Sasha says Nina told her, hearing Sasha saying it out loud, made her realize the past is past, and her future is with Valentin. She appreciated Sasha for putting it in perspective. Maxie says she hates perspective, and Sasha says, perspective is the worst. Who knew Nina would run back to him? Maxie says, classic Nina. Sasha has never met anyone like Nina, and she means that in the best way. Maxie says Nathan was a lot like Nina. They were total opposites in some ways. Nina is impulsive; Nathan liked to plan. Nina leads with her emotions; Nathan was rational, most of the time, but had her big heart and stubborn streak. Sasha says, it sounds like they made quite a pair. Maxie says, now that Nathan is gone, it’s even more important that the people who love her, protect her against people who want to use her big heart against her.

Kristina tells Michael, for the past few years, she’s been frustrated and confused, playing the role of the family screw-up. It’s a role she created for herself, being a disappointment. Michael says she’s never been a disappointment, and she says he’s taken the role as protector. She loves him for that, but hopes can he can invest in her future. She has a business proposal. She has no access to her trust fund until she’s thirty, and would like to borrow some money.

Marcus tells Stella that his Valentine gesture would be lost on Yvonne, but he couldn’t resist buying candy. Instead of a big box, he sent small boxes to the home, enough for everybody. Stella says it was a healing gesture. He’s keeping the tradition alive in a healthy way, and honoring what they had. He says, she’s right. It made him feel better; a little bit anyway. Stella says, a little better is still better. He likes the way she looks at the world. She says she’s not always rainbows sunshine, and he says, doesn’t he know it. Curtis comes in, and Marcus says his aunt is a ray of sunshine today. He asks, isn’t she always? Stella says they all know the answer. Marcus wants to give Curtis a long overdue thank you. If they hadn’t talked, he would have missed the opportunity to close a chapter in their history. He’s lucky to have her as a friend.

Peter hands Lulu a laptop, saying, more practical than flowers. The police impounded her laptop, but he persuaded them to copy the hard drive onto the new one. She says she felt like her right arm was missing. She’s getting back to work. He says, no work until she’s 100%, but she tells him, stop thinking like a friend, and think like a publisher. She has a great personal story for the front page. He says he’s not profiting from her attack. Murphy can do the report. Lulu says the events surrounding the crime are her personal story, only told through her eyes, in her voice. If he doesn’t want to publish it, there plenty of others who will.

Kim comes back to see Sonny and Carly with some follow-up. She says there are a lot of factors, and Carly says, like her age? Kim says there are many women older than she is who have babies, but yes. Couple with her previous history, her pregnancy is high risk. Sonny asks what the odds are of her having a stroke. Kim says, right now, relatively low, but that could change without warning. She tells Carly to be careful to check her blood pressure, manage stress, eat right, manage stress, get enough rest, manage… Carly gets it. Sonny says he’ll make sure she takes it easy. Kim says, if anything fells off, call. She’ll schedule another sonogram in a few weeks. She congratulates them again. When she’s gone, Sonny and Carly look at each other. In the hallway, Kim looks pensive.

Maxie arrives at Lulu’s, and Lulu wants her to tell Peter how difficult it is to change her mind. Maxie asks if he doesn’t know that already. Lulu says she wants to write a firsthand account of the attack. Peter is concerned that remembering will take it’s toll on her healing. Maxie tells him, throw in the towel. He’s already lost. Lulu leaves to charge her new laptop. Peter asks if Maxie thinks Lulu putting down her story for posterity is a good idea. Maxie thinks if it’s too much, Lulu will stop. If not, he has an amazing story. He asks how it went, and Maxie says she got an amazing (WOTD) manicure, and a bonus. A DNA sample from Sasha.

Kristina asks Michael to lend her $1500, and she’ll make payments with interest. If all goes according to plan, she plans to pay him back in a matter of months. He appreciates her well thought out proposal, but she can go to her dad and ask for money for school. She says her dad will give her a gift or a handout; it’s the last thing she wants. He says it’s free money, but she says, it’s at a cost. She’ll have feelings of guilt and failure. She needs to pay her own way.

Marcus has to go. Curtis tells Stella, it’s nice seeing her have a friend. She says, friends are good to have.

Kim looks at old pictures of Oscar on her phone. Drew joins her, and she says, long time, no see; it’s been forty-right hours. It’s nice to have a little respite from worrying about Oscar. Not that she’s not worried, but she got to give people good news today. She says she’s been meaning to show him this, and he looks at a picture of Oscar at about four years ole. He says, that face. It must be a real picture of the actor, because yeah, that face. Kim says, even then, Oscar was so much like him. She asks if he ever wonders… Never mind. Drew says, what?

Shiloh sees Margaux at the bar. He says he sees she signed up for more seminars. She says they’re resonating with her, and he’s glad they’re helping. She says the timing wasn’t a moment too soon. He tells her that people find Dawn of Day when they need to, and she says, however it works, she was lucky. He asks what led her there, and she says she was desperate to achieve a certain outcome, and betrayed a friend in the process. He asks, how so? She says it’s so out there, she doesn’t think he’ll believe her. He says, try him. She says, basically, she was in possession of information that was the key to her friend’s past that he couldn’t remember. She valued her end game more than his trust, and tried to use the information as leverage to get him to do something he didn’t want to.

Jason gets a text from Spinelli, but we can’t see what it says. Sam comes along, and asks what he’s doing there. He says, getting some air. Her? She says she lost something, and he says he’ll help her look. They walk over to a more private spot and kiss. He asks what Shiloh wanted, and she says to chat her up. He wants her to go away with him. Jason says, that would be a bad idea.

Michael tells Kristina, something he learned from his bereavement group is that you’re responsible for your own healing. He’ll lend her the money, and let her pay him back with interest. She thanks him. He has one condition. They need to have lunch together more often. She says, deal.

Sasha comes into Kelly’s, and Curtis says nice to see her. She says he sounds surprised. He is, a little. When they first met, she was opposed to the idea of any mother but the one who raised her, but here she is. She says he’s not half as surprised as she is. She promised herself meeting Nina would be a drive-by, but Nina dares you not to care, and then you can’t stop. He’s glad she feels that way. He’s the one who tracked her down, and has a personal stake in it. He’d hate to be the one who put Nina in a position to be hurt. She says, no one wants that. He says, when Valentin hired him, he was skeptical. It was too perfect. Valentin came up with the one way to guarantee that Nina would forgive him. He was on guard in case it was a set-up, but everything seems legit. Not just the DNA, but her connection with Nina. He hopes she’s as genuine as she seems.

Maxie tells Peter it shouldn’t be a problem to get a sample from Nina. They can find out if she and Sasha are really mother and daughter, or if it’s a plot by Valentin. Peter says Valentin is a formidable guy, but he’s never gone up against anyone like her. Lulu comes back, and says the temperature has gone up since she left the room. Enough about her. She wants to talk about them.

Kim asks if Drew wonders what it would have been like if they’d raised Oscar together. He says it’s crossed his mind. She wonders if it would have been a disaster, with him stationed all over. She’d still have had to raise him by herself. He doesn’t know. She knew him then, and knows him now. What does she think? She asks if he wants wishful thinking or honest, and he says, honest. She thinks he would have been a wonderful father to their son. He asks if that isn’t wishful thinking, and she says it’s both.

Carly asks what Sonny is thinking. She knows it’s a lot to take in. He says it’s not like they didn’t think or talk about it, but she says, hearing it from a doctor… Sonny says, it brings it home. What does she want to do? She says they have so many people who love them, and who they love. She believes the baby is a blessing. He takes her hand, and they hug.

Margaux tells Shiloh that she betrayed her friend. He says, betray is a strong word, but she says he trusted her, and she tried to take advantage of that. She tried, and failed. She had the key to his past it the palm of her hand, and he refused the deal. Shiloh asks what she means by in the palm of her hand, and she says it was a flash drive; a file with everything. Shiloh says, business records? but she says, mostly personal memories. His whole life. Shiloh asks, what happened to it? and she says her conscience got the better of her, and she gave it back. She’s hoping one day he’ll look. She doesn’t know. It’s up to him.

Jason tells Sam it’s too dangerous, but she insists there’s no way Shiloh will hurt her. I’m wondering how him saying go for a drive turned into some big trip. He says Spinelli got more information; he’s not sure. She says she’s going on the trip. He tells her, slow down and make a plan. She says they have one, and tells him that she’ll get all the information she can. He says that doesn’t mean she needs to go on a trip, but she says she knows what she’s doing. The guy likes to talk. She’ll get the information they need, so they don’t have to pretend. They can be together. He holds her, and kisses the top of her head.

Tomorrow, Cameron says it’s life or death important, Peter tells Maxie that they’re going to find out if Sasha is Nina’s daughter, and Ava is barely hanging on.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Stay away from Jeffrey, got him? Justin lies on the floor, bleeding.

Jeffrey asks if David is sure, and he says he is. He’s tired of being laid up. He wants his car keys. Jeffrey asks, what about mom? Every time he gets in his own car, he worries. David says Veronica knows the FBI is watching her every move. Jeffrey asks where David is going, and he says, just out. Jeffrey’s phone rings, and David asks, is that him? Jeffrey says, who? David says Jeffrey knows who he’s talking about. It rings again, and David tells him, answer it.

Justin says he’s hurt, and Jeffrey asks, what happened? Justin tells him not to act like he doesn’t know. He sent them there. Jeffrey says he didn’t send anyone anyplace. Justin asks, who did? David takes the phone, and says he sent them. Justin asks who it is, and he says, Jeffrey’s father, Judge Harrington. Justin calls him a SOB, and David says he’s already not abiding by the rules. He tells Justin not to contact his son again, Justin says, okay, and David gives the phone back. He tells Jeffrey to let him know if Justin contacts him.

Outside, David says he’s fine. Jeffrey says he’ll start it up, but David isn’t going to let him do that. He knows what Jeffrey is trying to do, but his mother knows she’s being watched. Jeffrey wants to be sure, but David says he doesn’t have to be; he’s fine. He tells Jeffrey go inside, and don’t worry about that boy. He won’t bother Jeffrey again. Jeffrey thinks David wants him to go in so he doesn’t get hurt. David tells him to touch the car. He does, and an alarm goes off. David says he had one installed on both of their cars. If it’s touched, even with a finger, the alarm goes off and he gets a text. Jeffrey goes back in, and David gets in his car. BOOM! Just kidding. He drives away.

Jeffrey makes a call. I’m starting to think he’s an idiot. Justin’s phone rings, and Jeffrey asks if he’s okay. He tells Justin that he’s sorry, and Justin asks, why did he let them do this? Jeffrey says he didn’t; he’s sorry. Justin thinks he’s losing a lot of blood, and needs Jeffrey to come help. Jeffrey says, call an ambulance, but Justin says if Jeffrey doesn’t help, he wants to die. He says Jeffrey doesn’t know how much he loves him. He did this for him. He’s never loved anyone like him before. Jeffrey makes him crazy, and his dad sends guys to beat his ass. What hell is that? Jeffrey apologizes again, and Justin says, then come help him. Jeffrey says he can’t. He’s taking care of his dad. Just call an ambulance. Justin hangs up. Jeffrey calls 911, but doesn’t know the address. He asks them to hold on, and scrolls through his texts

Kathryn is all happy with her threesome dudes. She says she loved it. Rocky says he did too. Roderick gets up to use the bathroom, and she tells him, hurry back. In the bathroom, he makes a call. I don’t want to know where he was hiding the phone.

Candace’s phone rings. She gets a picture of Kathryn in bed with them. She tells Roderick, good boy. Get her more. She’s sorry he has to sleep with that beast. He says she knows he’s a freak, and she says, do you. He has to get back. Candace doesn’t trust Rocky, but Roderick says he’s got this. She asks if the man is still there. He says yes, and a whole bunch of secret service are there. Roderick goes back in.

Kathryn is dressed, and asks him to zip her up. She has to go home. Roderick says, no, and she tells him that he lies so well; she’s beginning to like it. He says maybe someday she’ll believe he’s into her. She believes he’s into her money. He says he’ll miss her, and she tells him, keep it up. Maybe one day he’ll convince her. She leaves, and Rocky smacks Roderick with a pillow. Roderick says, it’s fine, but Rocky says, it’s not. She reminds him of his mother. Roderick says he’ll come out on top, and Rocky says, he’s sick. He jets, and Roderick says he likes her.

Hanna goes in where Candace sitting. Hanna asks what she’s doing there, and Candace says, trying to see Jim. Hanna says, that woman’s husband? Candace says Kathryn doesn’t care; why does she? Kathryn is in a hotel room right now with two men. Hanna says she doesn’t know that, and Candace says she’ll text a picture to Hanna. Hanna tells her not to send filth to her phone. Candace says those guys work for her. Kathryn has no idea how hard she’s being played. Hanna says Candace won’t stop, and Candace says, can’t stop, won’t stop. Hanna calls her crazy, and she says she gets it from her mom – or dad. She wishes she knew who he was. She prefers Hanna doesn’t talk to her, and Hanna is good with that. Candace can’t believe Hanna used to work there, cleaning up after these people. Hanna says, it’s better than selling her ass. Candace says she made more in one night than Hanna probably made in a year. Hanna asks if the President is Candace’s next victim. Is she blackmailing him? Candace says she has a bunch of secrets, and Hanan says she won’t be satisfied until she’s dead. Candace says, it will be a welcome relief. Hanna says none of it means anything, and Candace says, no. Nothing.  Hanna tries to show Candace a video of her son, and she tells Hanna to stop. Hanna doesn’t understand why it’s getting to her. She thinks Candace is realizing it could be her fault. Candace says, turn it off or she’ll do it. Hanna would love to see that happen. Candace puts in ear buds. Hanna sits on the arm of the couch, playing the video, and Candace bops her head to music.

George tells Wyatt that he’ll get out as soon as he talks to the grand jury. Just tell them what happened, and he’s free to go, but he has to tell the truth. Wyatt says, okay, but he wants a fix first. George says he can find one after he leaves, and Wyatt says then he’s not doing a damn thing. George says, Sara is on the stand right now. He needs Wyatt. Wyatt doesn’t care. Not until he gets what he’s asking for. George threatens to release Wyatt to his father. Wyatt says it’s the devil he knows. George says, it’s a devil far worse than he knows. He tells one of the staff to get the doctor. Give Wyatt something; fix him. She says, it’s risky, but George says, just get it done.

Jeffrey calls 911 to find out if the ambulance was dispatched. The operator says Justin called himself. Jeffrey asks if he was picked up, but she says, it was dispatched. He asks if she knows where Justin was taken, but she can’t give him that information. Jeffrey has to call him.

Madison arrives at work. The nurse in reception chides him for getting preferential treatment. Madison says it’s a very powerful family, and his co-worker says, the mother is crazy. Madison doesn’t know anything about that, and the nurse says, speaking of crazy, there’s a loony one in three. Madison asks him not to do that to him. He says the administration might give him special treatment, but he doesn’t have to. Madison goes into the room, and sees Justin. Justin says see what Jeffrey did to him? Madison thinks he’s special. Madison says Justin isn’t threatening him. Justin says he’s not, but this is what’s going to happen. Jeffrey doesn’t care about anybody but himself. Madison starts to leave, and Justin says, don’t love him. Jeffrey will turn on Madison. Trust him.

The nurse asks Madison what happened, and Madison says he can’t help him. It’s the guy who attacked him in the parking garage. The nurse says Madison told security he didn’t remember, but Madison says he knows it’s him; there’s surveillance of him. The nurse says he was seen in the vicinity, but the camera near Madison’s car wasn’t working. Madison says, he made it that way. The nurse suggests he tell the police, and Madison says, he is the police. He knows it’s him.

Jeffrey walks in, and says he was told Justin was there. Madison can’t believe Jeffrey is there to see him, and takes him to Justin’s room. He thinks he and Jeffrey trying to get to know each other is a mistake. He doesn’t think Jeffrey should call again. Jeffrey says, done. Justin says he didn’t think Jeffrey would come. Jeffrey is glad Justin went to the hospital. Justin says the neighbors called, but Jeffrey says, funny. 911 said he called. Justin insists he didn’t. Jeffrey asks how he is, and Justin says, missing him. Jeffrey tells him, don’t start. He has to get control of himself. He can’t keep doing this. Justin says, he knows. He just loves Jeffrey so much. Jeffrey says, it’s not love; it’s infatuation. There’s someone he wants Justin to talk to; Dr. Chambers. He’s an amazing psychologist, and can help. The only person Justin wants to help is Jeffrey, but Jeffrey says he can’t. Justin says they did this to him because he loves Jeffrey. Jeffrey says they did it because Justin threatened him. Justin says Jeffrey’s dad did this, and asks if he deserved it. Jeffrey says, maybe. For the record, Jeffrey is sorry it happened, but Justin needs to know if do this again, what comes back will be even worse. He has to go. Justin begs him not to. He asks if he’ll see Jeffrey again, and Jeffrey says he’s sure Justin will. Justin ask if Jeffrey will come see the place. Jeffrey says he’ll have to be careful, but yes, if it makes Justin happy. Justin says he loves Jeffrey, and Jeffrey says he love Justin too. Once again confusing the hell out of me. Just asks for a kiss, but Jeffrey says, no.

Jeffrey tells Madison, sorry, but Madison says, don’t be. Jeffrey says Madison wouldn’t understand, and Madison says, nope; he wouldn’t. Jeffrey says he has to respect it. Madison says, sorry to disappoint him, but unfortunately the bruises on the back of his head won’t let him. Jeffrey says he’ll see Madison at his dad’s. Madison says he’s trying to get a replacement.

Benny sits with Mitch in Mitch’s car, looking at pictures on a phone. Mitch told him it burned down. Benny asks where the Cryers live now. He doesn’t know, and Benny makes a call to Hanna, but gets voicemail. Mitch says, try Candace; she knows everything, but he get voicemail there too. Mitch says, she’s probably with the President. Benny asks what he’s talking about, and Mitch says, she was with Charles Frederickson, the President, when he was at the hospital. It was like a circus, secret service and everything. He says, Candace one-upped herself. What’s even crazier is, he likes her. Mitch heard him telling their mom how fond he is of her. Benny’s sister is going mess around and get First Lady now. Benny says he’s tripping, but Mitch says, anything goes in that place. Benny still gets voicemail, and Mitch suggests Veronica. He says he’s not calling that chick. Benny tells Mitch to call his family, and Mitch says he’ll probably get hell for this.

The FBI watches Veronica’s house. She pulls in, and marches over to the van, waving as she walks. She knocks on the window, and tells them, if they’re going to do surveillance, they may as well come in. They politely tell her, no thank you, ma’am, and she says they’re not fooling anyone in the van. She tells them, do what they must. She sees David pull into her driveway, and says, now that’s who they need be watching. David gets out of his car, and she goes back.

David sees they have their eyes on Veronica, and asks if he can come in. She asks how his back is, and he says, not good. She says she’s sorry, and they go inside. She says it looks like he’s getting around fine. He says, pain killers; she should know about that very well. She says, unfortunately, she does. She tells him, have a seat, but he’d rather stand. He asks if Alice is there. Veronica says she’s being sued for a hostile work environment. He’s sure it’s a lie. He wants to talk. She asks him if he recognizes the rug. The slight red blood stain where he slapped her to the floor. He doesn’t see any stains, but she says they’re there. She purposely didn’t clean them. She wanted to remember the moment he was dead to her. He says they both have those days. His was the day she sent Erica to him. She says she didn’t do that, but he says, she did. She ask if he’s there to kill her as he threatened to. He says, no. He’s there because he’d like to take her to dinner. We all go, wha-a-at? along with Veronica. He realized he’d gone way too far, and he’s there to apologize. She doesn’t trust him. What’s he up to? He says he realized how much he loves her. He was wrong to try to replace her. She tells him, get out. He says he’s serious, but she means it; get out. He says, okay, but he loves and misses her, and he was very wrong. He hopes she can forgive him. She repeats, get out, and he leaves. She sits down, visibly shaken.

Jim asks Diane where they are, and she says, the living room. He says, well, well, well. What a surprise. What do they want? Candace tells him, let Hanna go first. He asks what’s on her mind. She says if anything else happens to her son, she’ll finish him. Jim scoffs at the idea, and Candace says Hanna might not be able to do anything, but she can. He says, what? Show pictures of old Jim naked around town again? He doesn’t give a sh*t. He went after her brother because she’s the bitch whore who took his $8 million. She says he’s the bitch, and he’s not getting it back. He says, get the money today, or there will be three more stabbings. Hanna wishes he’d send someone. He asks if she thinks she scares him. What’s she going to scare him with? He says, she doesn’t scare him at all, calling her bitch. She says she’s not a bitch, and takes her earrings off. We all know what that means. Jim apparently doesn’t. He says she’s a bitch, and Candace is a trifling bitch. They’re both bitches. Hanna says she told him to watch what he says to her, and suddenly, they’re both on him, beating the crap out of him. I cheer.

Next time, Hanna says she’ll kill Jim, Kathryn is ready to cut them off, Mitch visits Jim with Benny, and David wants to get back together with Veronica.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle visit LVP. She asks why LVP has no guard dog, and LVP says she has the swans. That’s a really good point. Swans are beautiful, but can be mean. They get in Lisa’s car. In her interview, Kyle says she loves LVP. She’s been going through a hard time, but they laugh anywhere they go. This time, they’re going for some kind of facial procedures, and discuss it on the way

Kyle says they’ll be looking like different people when they come out. In Kyle’s interview, she says they live in a town where nobody ages. They have to do the latest and greatest treatments. We see a clip of Kyle and LVP talking with Paul Nassif (Botched). The doctor comes out. LVP says she wants to rejuvenate her neck. He asks if she wants laughing gas, and she says, oh yes. Kyle asks if he has some to go. LVP inhales it, and Kyle takes a video of her getting loopy. She says, it’s like drinking a bottle wine without a hangover. She tells Kyle, have one, holding out the tube. It will make her stress go away. LVP realizes Kyle is filming her, and says, it’s not funny, but does she look beautiful? In her interview, LVP says she and Kyle love to have a laugh. After everything she’s been dealing with, a brief respite is something important. The doctor says she has a brand new neck. He asks Kyle what she’s doing. She can’t decide, but thinks something with her eyes.

Erika is meeting LisaR and Dorit at a restaurant, and orders an Arnold Palmer while she’s waiting. When they get there, she orders a bottled beer. Dorit and LisaR reminisce about the kegs of their high school and college days. Dorit tells LisaR about the robbery. Kyle thinks they should get a Doberman or Rottweiler. Erika suggests a German Shepherd. In Dorit’s interview, she says with everything that happened after the Lucy situation, she thinks it’s safe to say they’re family is putting getting a dog on the back burner. She says she can’t bring herself to talk about it, and could use a getaway; a girls’ trip. They talk about Tahoe, and Erika thinks they have a house there. Thinks. They have several houses, including one near Kyle, but she’s never been to that one. We see a clip of her telling Tom about the pool tiles she picked out falling apart. She’s good worrying about one place. She’ll get to the others someday.

Dorit says her sister went to a new place in the Bahamas, Bahamar, and said it was exquisite. In her interview, Dorit thinks a trip would be a great way to connect, and a safe space for them to duke out their issues, and find a way forward. Dorit says she’ll draw a map, and they’ll make a plan.

We meet Denise’s boyfriend, Aaron. Daughter Sami tells Denise she failed her English test; Denise asks if she needs a tutor, and Sami thinks that might be a good idea. In her interview, Denise says she was being provocative in the past, and the effect on future kids wasn’t something she thought of back then. Now she has two daughters, Sami and Lola, whose father is Charlie Sheen. Since she and Charlie are both nuts, they have a shot at being normal. She adopted Eloise when she was born as a single mom. There was a rumor that she was Charlie’s child with a hooker, but that’s false. She laughs. They recently moved to Malibu, and Aaron moved in with them. It’s four bedrooms; simple, beachy, clean, Zen. She thinks it’s a fresh start for all of them. She and Aaron have been together over a year, and she feels like he’s her soulmate. He does frequency work, balancing the body, and she met him when she started going to his clinic. She tells us she’d have to video what he does for people to understand, but it’s fascinating and crazy. With her ex Charlie, if she hung the toilet paper wrong, it was like she burned the house down. She’s grateful for this relationship. She asks Sami about homecoming, and Sami say she hasn’t been asked yet. She tells Sami that she can’t date until she’s sixteen anyway. In Denise’s interview, she says her parents were strict, and she couldn’t date until she was sixteen. I actually don’t think that’s too unreasonable, although I was slightly younger. She wonders if she’s doing her kids a disservice because of her own wild ways. Sami says she wants a boyfriend, now that Denise said she can’t have one Sami calls Charlie, and asks if she’s allowed go with a guy to homecoming. He says he trusts her judgement that he’s the right person to go with. Denise says, whatever. She’s not mad, but she disagrees.

PK and Dorit have wine. He says he had an aggravating week. He’s been on tour for four weeks. He thinks they’ve both had trying, long weeks. Dorit says she had dinner with Erika and LisaR. She thought it would be nice to go on another trip. It will bring them together. He says she’s not asking Teddi, but she says she was thinking of it. With everything that happened, she wants to give it a chance. In her interview, she says they took a baby step at Kyle’s party. She’s hoping Teddi doesn’t interfere in her business, and not make a mountain out of a molehill about the dog situation. They had some differences – we see a clip of the argument over Dorit being late – but they’re trivial, and Dorit wants to put it behind them. PK thinks it’s super cool of her. She says they’ll go there, clean the slate, and move forward. In Dorit’s interview, she hopes that LVP knows she had the best intention with Lucy, and wants to move forward. She tells PK, wish her luck. He says she doesn’t need it. The ladies are the lucky ones.

LisaR and Teddi walk in the hills. Teddi is getting ready for a half-marathon. They see a huge rattlesnake, and LisaR says better here than at her house. Harry doesn’t like to kill them. We see a clip of him showing the kids a baby rattler in a jar. LisaR asks, whose husband does that? I’d probably be the same way. I relocate spiders. Teddi says her work stuff is good. The business has grown, and now she has a different lifestyle. LisaR asks about her taking an acting job. Teddi says she almost turned it down. She doesn’t know if she’s a decent actor. In her interview, we see a clip, and she says he doesn’t think it’s going to lead to an illustrious acting career. She did it to have fun, and just see if she could do it. She tells LisaR that she had big dreams when she first moved there, but put on weight. She was sent out for pilot season, and got a call from her manager that she needed to lose weight or no one would hire her. She didn’t realize it was contingent on her losing weight. She said she was never doing it again, and took a negative turn, developing a problem. Food was her best friend. In her interview, LisaR says they all have issues with their bodies. In the business, you have to look a certain way. Teddi says, it went on for years. It didn’t define her, but it did define what she does. The second you’re not practicing what you preach, you’re a complete fraud. LisaR gets it. Teddi says posting her workouts every day keeps her humble.

Kyle goes to Mauricio’s office. He says everyone is out working; Vera is at an open house. Kyle thinks she might go; she loves looking at them. Mauricio says there are some great properties on the market. Kyle thinks her eye is blinking too slow, and he laughs. She tells him, it’s not funny. In her interview, she says she’s a hypochondriac. There. She said it. As a mom, she doesn’t feel complete without her husband and kids being together. That’s when she’s 100% Kyle. Each one that leaves is difficult, and now Sofia is going to college. We see a clip of everyone at the dinner table, and Mauricio asking what they should do before she leaves. Sofia suggests they have a party every Friday until she goes. Mauricio likes it. Kyle sys her dream was to be a mom and have kids. The last one will be hard. Mauricio says he had to sleep in an awkward position to cuddle with Portia. I identify, since I do that for my dogs. He knows it’s not lasting long. Kyle gets weepy, and Mauricio says it’s not like it’s the first time. She still has two more babies. She says, life changes every time one of them leaves. Mauricio says they’ll also get married, and she’ll be a grandmother with amazing grandkids. She says she’s preparing herself by… she doesn’t know how to prepare. Since she has dogs, it’s easier. Dogs make everything easier. I said that, not Kyle.

LisaR gives the dogs cupcakes. Amelia brings in her new French bulldog puppy, who tries to nurse on he. She tells LisaR about seeing a mom and daughter who looked like they were suffering with an eating disorder, and it was hard to watch. In LisaR’s interview, she says when she first realized something was wrong, her immediate response was, you gotta eat. It scared the sh*t out of them, including Amelia. Amelia says, no matter how many deaths she heard about, all that mattered was her skinniness. She doesn’t want it to happen to other people. She could have died. In her interview, LisaR says, it’s a scary thing when your child is suffering. You feel helpless. Amelia says all of her friends think about calories. They see the bread basket, and it’s like, holy sh*t. LisaR says Amelia started watching food shows, and she thought it was weird for her to want to see people eat. Amelia hopes that people in the industry stop putting on a façade of perfection. In LisaR’s interview, she says she’s always been aware of her weight and what she look like, but that’s not who she is. She tells Amelia about Teddi’s struggle, the agent asking her to lose weight and her gaining two hundred pounds as a result. It triggered her in the opposite way. In her interview, LisaR says she sees the brutalities in the business, and she doesn’t want it to be the only thing her daughters focus on. She thinks she and Harry have shown them there’s more out there. Amelia says she gets so many comments on Instagram, asking how she got out of it. She’ll never be out of it. LisaR says when Amelia came out publicly, she was shocked and proud. She showed everyone something others would never do, a vulnerability that’s so fragile. LisaR is proud of her.

In the car, LVP tells Ken that he’s rear-ended too many people. He says it’s not his fault. She says if he rear-ended them, it’s his fault. She tells him that if you end up in bed with someone and rear-end them, it’s your fault. That LVP. She loves dirty talk, which is so much less dirty with a British accent.

Kyle tells Sofia that she feels guilty about going to the Bahamas. Sofia says she’s not leaving yet, and they’ll be together in DC when Kyle drops her off. Kyle begs her not to leave.

Ex pasty chef Chris Ford sets up shop at LisaR’s. In her interview, she says everyone is away, and there are only so many bikini shots she can put on Instagram to get attention. So she invited the ladies over, including Camille. She tells everyone that Kyle is at a tequila tasting, and won’t be there. Neither will LVP; there’s something wrong with Giggy. 😢

LVP meets Ken at Villa Blanca. Harrison! She says she’s emotionally depleted, and couldn’t put on a brave façade for LisaR’s party. She orders some food, and says TomTom is doing well. Ken says it’s been a lot of work, especially the last two weeks. She asks what he thinks about her going on the Bahamas trip. It’s terrible timing. Ken says, it’s a must. She should go anyway. She says she hasn’t been herself, and has been emotional, but she’s never been there. In her interview, she hopes it will give her a renewed vigor; a fresh outlook. She asks if he’s going to keep Giggy by his side at all times. Ken says Giggy isn’t well, but he’s a strong little bugger. We see a clip if Giggy at the vet. He’s going to need a pacemaker, and LVP asks about the chances of him not surviving. The doctor says less than 20%, and they’ve never lost a patient. LVP thinks it will be a bit of a challenge, but she can use some time away. Dealing with Dorit has been exasperating. The way she handled it, the dog ended up in a kill shelter, when she should have just given Lucy to them, but she loves Dorit anyway. She’s taking the plunge and having fun again. Ken toasts to the Bahamas. She tells Ken that he’s not going to have fun. He’s going to work.

Everyone arrives. There are various small dessert treats in bowls – macaroons, candies, and such – on the gigantic kitchen island. Chef Chris has the ladies write notes to their loved ones, and put their chosen ingredients inside a chocolate half-heart with the note on top. Then they melt the edge of the other half, and fuse them together with some kind of spray. They decorate them with what seems like metallic spray paint. In her interview, Denise says she wouldn’t refer to this as baking or pastry. There’s no dough. She doesn’t know how they’re calling it pastry class. Pastry or not, it’s cool. They go into the dining room for pastry eating class. There are all kinds of sweets on three-tiered dishes. Dorit is weird about the calories, asking if she can take it home. In her interview, Erika says she eats dessert every day. You’re not going to blow up, and if you do, you can work it off. Eat the effing cake.

Erika asks Denise how she met Aaron. Denise says after a few times of going to his center, they had sex in one of the rooms. They’ve been inseparable ever since. He’s still technically married, but they’ve been separated for two years. We find out that the future ex-wife is Nicole Sheridan, who Harry was married to for eleven months. In LisaR’s interview, she says, there’s intertwining stuff going on. LisaR explains that Nicole went to a Michael Bolton concert, and ran off with him. She thanks him to this day. They toast to Michael Bolton. LisaR says she wouldn’t have her beautiful children without them. In her interview, Teddi says she’s never had that urge when she sees Michael Bolton, and I literally LOL. Teddi talks about meeting Edwin, but I’m laughing too hard from her interview comment to hear what she says. We learn they do it twice a week, and it’s very scheduled. In her interview, Denise says she gets it on with Aaron every day. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t recall ever talking much about sex to my friends other than, was it good? and maybe questions about something weird.

The ladies pack for the trip. Of course Erika has her assistants helping to put her outfits together. She says she’d better stop eating now. At almost 6 am, it’s time to leave. Kyle kisses one of the dogs goodbye, and closes the door way too loudly on her way out. They meet at the airport. Dorit wants their trip to be luxurious, glamorous, and fun. They’re flying in a private jet, and it’s a brand new resort. First class all the way. LisaR asks, who doesn’t want to fly in a private jet? Erika says not many people get that experience. One day, you’re in the Gulf Stream, and the next, you’re flying coach. It not about how you got there, but that you’re effing there.

I’m dying because I wish I could be on one of those jets. Even if it’s just for a half hour like on Vanderpump Rules. These girls have a lot more food on board – there’s an entire buffet. Dorit explains what she’s organized. They’re going to a private island for lunch, and massages will be available. All of the rooms are beautiful. She asks if LVP wants to stay in a suite with her, but LVP doesn’t want to share. I would think she might want a room to herself, in case she needs to be bummed for a moment. Erika says she’s available. LVP says Dorit has snoring and gas problems. LisaR says, she’s back. Cheers! Kyle says, it’s all fun and games, and then one jab goes too far.

Next time, omg this place they go to – it’s incredible – LVP wants to move on, Erika says she’ll defend herself to the bone, Teddi says she never told a soul, while LisaR looks like the cat who ate the canary. Hmm…

🔺 You Don’t Need To Have a Point, To Have a Point…

where I should be is sleeping, so I’ll let Harry lead me off.