Category Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

December 11, 2017 – Andre Has an Ally, Brittany Goes to Vegas & a Little Shep

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

 

All Britt knows is that her father thought Jason was dead, was furious when he found out otherwise, and wanted the traitor dead. Sonny asks if she knew the traitor’s name, but she says no. She’s truly sorry, but says Jason not only survived, he’s in excellent shape. Why not just move on? Jason says because her father gave his life to someone else.

Drew asks how well she knew him. She says they didn’t know each other long, but their time together was pretty intense. She got pregnant, and Oscar is his son. Sam overhears.

Michael tells Carly that Nelle is pregnant, and Nelle says, congratulations, grandma. <snort> Carly says it’s the oldest trick in the book. Michael says the doctor confirmed it, and she’s six-weeks along. Carly says the baby isn’t his.

Anna goes into the interrogation room, and tells Andre this is a fine predicament.

At the hospital, Finn tells Cassandra that the last test he was worried about is negative; she’s completely in the clear. She wonders why he’s looking upset, and he says he wasted her time, and brought her all the way there for nothing. She says it wasn’t a complete waste, and asks why he’s being so formal with her. He says it has nothing to do with her, and she wonders what’s put him in a foul mood.

Sonny says they know Britt and Faison checked in three days ago. Wasn’t he worried about being recognized? She says her father has a talent for being incognito. She explains that before coming back, they traveled all over Europe, naming some major cities. Jason asks if they went to St. Petersburg, and she says they did. He wonders why they were touring the financial capitals. Sonny thinks maybe he was tracing where the traitor had gone. Jason says maybe he was following the traitor’s path, to see what else they might have done.

Sam joins Kim and Drew, saying she didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Drew asks if Oscar knows, and Kim says she hasn’t told him, but he started asking questions after his brother showed up on Thanksgiving. She says she wore her heart on her sleeve, seeing a face she knew. Drew says, just when think it can’t get more strange. Kim tells him that they hit it off fast, and spent a couple of months together. It wasn’t a fling; they had a real connection, but he was scheduled to be deployed with an open-ended tour. They both knew they’d probably never see each other again. Drew asks if she let him leave without telling him she was pregnant.

Nelle says It’s common knowledge that Carly didn’t know who Michael’s father was, trying to pass him off as Tony Jones’s child, and then AJ’s. No one seemed to have any issue about her sleeping with two brothers, and her stepfather. Nelle says she’s not promiscuous, and has only been with Michael. Carly interjects that it was after she pretended to sleep with Sonny. Carly says she thinks it’s going to be her golden ticket, but the first thing they’re doing is a paternity test.

Andre didn’t expect to see Anna. She asks if he doesn’t think she cares about the people affected?  Or him? He tells her that he didn’t think she wanted anything to do with him. She says he was a good friend when she needed one, and she wants to be one for him, but she has to understand why this happened or why he didn’t come to her. He says he didn’t want to bother her, but she thinks he didn’t want her to know he was playing God with everyone’s lives. She asks, why? Andre says why does it matter? He can’t undo it. Anna says when he came to her that night to say goodbye, he told her that she’d hear things that would make him sound bad, and he wanted her to hold on to the good. She has, and believes him and knows him. She knows someone or something powerful made him do it; it just doesn’t make sense. What was so important that he destroyed all these lives, including his own? Andre says, his wife.

Finn explains to Cassandra that he’s developed a new painkiller that could revolutionize the treatment of patients, but the board is refusing to fund it. Cassandra says that’s shortsighted. The royalties from his last discovery is keeping life in the hospital. He says it doesn’t technically treat an illness, but making patients comfortable is part of their treatment. He tells her that they’re concerned about it being highly addictive if administered incorrectly. Cassandra asks if he’s put in a new drug application, and says he might have to just live with the satisfaction of saving lives. Finn says this time he’d like to get paid, and she says, as well he should.

Jason says maybe killing him wasn’t the traitor’s only job. Maybe they were handling operations in other cities, and Faison wanted to see if they were being handled correctly. Sonny asks Britt what kind of mood he was in, and she says it wasn’t that great to begin with, and got steadily worse. Jason asks when he went out, and what he was wearing when she did. Britt says mostly suits in the daytime, but he went out occasionally in the evening. Jason says those cities are financial capitals, and Sonny thinks Faison needed a clear picture on what the traitor did. He asks Britt if the traitor is dead, and if that’s why he left.

Josslyn and Oscar walk in the park. She says he doesn’t have to see the results. He’s gone his entire life without knowing, and if he wants to go on not knowing, it’s okay. He says it’s not okay to hide from the truth. She tells him to just click, and he asks her to do it. She does, and asks if he wants to look at it, or should she just tell him. Oscar wants her to tell him, and Josslyn says Drew is his father.

Kim didn’t know she was pregnant when Drew left. She found out weeks after he was deployed. Drew says he’s sorry she went through it alone, and Kim says he didn’t do it on purpose. He was a different man in a different life. She tells him it didn’t feel right putting it in a letter, and she couldn’t email or call because he was classified, and she wasn’t family. In all fairness, she didn’t tell his superiors; she thought he should know first. After Oscar was born, the most important thing was to make sure he was loved and cared for and protected. She finished her internship, then her residency and specialty. There was a lot of life to deal with, and she questioned whether or not to drop the bomb on him. The Drew she knew was dedicated to the SEALs. He’d told her once that it wasn’t fair to ask someone to wait, and she wondered if he’d even welcome the news. She thought it was better for Oscar not to know, especially if he didn’t want anything to do with him. Then one Christmas, after the presents were unwrapped, Oscar had fallen asleep. He’d been so excited about Santa, he’d been up all night. At that moment, she realized she was robbing him of all the moments. She contacted the Navy in 2013, but they told her he’d deserted.

Michael tells Carly that he was thinking the same thing, but right now wanted to focus on the pregnancy. One step at a time. Nelle asks if he’s still questioning that he’s the father. Carly says they wouldn’t believe her if she said the sky was blue. Nelle tells Michael that he knows the dates. Michael says he’s constantly caught her in lies, and he’s been lied to before about a child being his, then had the rug pulled out from under him. It’s not happening again, and he won’t believe her until it’s proven.

Andre tells Anna that his wife’s name is Kita; he called her Kato. He met her at an art show, but could focus only on her. She was beautiful with an intoxicating laugh. Her life was like a light, and she was way out of his league. He was scared to talk to her, but as he was leaving, she stopped him. She said if he was going to stare at her all night, at least buy her a drink, and he did. Anna says she sounds incredible. Andre says he fell hard, and they moved in together after six months. She was his best friend, and they were so in love. He joined the WSB, and was sent overseas for a year, but she couldn’t come with him. They decided to elope, so they would stay committed to each other. Anna says he keeps talking about her in the past tense; what happened? Jordan is walking by the door, and hears them. He says after they were married for three months, her sister called him. Something was wrong. Kita was disoriented and losing her memory. He came back, and found out it was the early onset of Alzheimer’s. Anna says, so he created the memory map to save the woman he loved. By now, they’re both crying. Andre says he couldn’t lose her. Jordan listens outside the door.

Britt doesn’t think the traitor is dead; her father was too agitated, and would have been calmer. He got a phone call the other night, and went out. He came back in a foul mood, and said they had to go. Jason asks what this is, showing her a half-burned manuscript by P.K. Sinclair. I get so excited, I don’t even notice the title, which might possibly be significant.

Kim tells Drew that she’s sorry. Drew says given what she knew, she did the best thing. Kim tells him, now it’s up to him to decide what happens next.

Oscar asks Josslyn if this is really happening; Drew is his father. Josslyn can’t believe it’s happening either. He says he’s overwhelmed and shocked. It was one thing to think Drew was his father, and another to have the proof. Josslyn says, omg, the Quartermaines. They’re Drew’s family, and now they’re Oscar’s too, including Michael. He was named after Sonny, but his father is a Quartermaine. Oscar asks if he and Josslyn are related, and she says not even close. She only has half-siblings, and now he does too. Scout is his half-sister. He says it’s kind of cool, but doesn’t know how to process it. His whole life, it’s just been him and his mom. Now, there are all these people, a sister, the Quartermaines. He wonders if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Andre spent years developing a master plan that could save Kita, but by the time it was viable, she was too far gone. The light, the energy that was so much a part of her, had been extinguished. She didn’t even know him. Anna asks where she is, and Andre tells her in a facility under her parents care. She occasionally remembered them, but never him. He says with Jason and Andrew, he didn’t mean for things to go this far. He was truly trying to help. Anna believes him. She says she’ll talk to the authorities on his behalf, and Andre says that’s more than he deserves. She tells him take care of himself, and he says her too. She gets up, and he says whoever is behind this is someone powerful. He tells her to be careful, and she tells him to be careful too. When Anna is gone, Jordan walks in. She asks if he was never going to tell her he was married.

Britt says P.K. Sinclair was a pen name her father used when he wrote a series of books about a spy named Daphne in the 80s. Jason wonders why he’d torch his own book, and she says she doesn’t know about that manuscript; she doesn’t think he wrote it. It just showed up, and the last thing he did before he left, was put it in the fireplace. Sonny wonders what about the book could make him so nervous?

Kim tells Drew to take all the time he needs, and she’ll do a DNA test if he wants. She’s not expecting anything from him. She’s been taking care of Oscar his whole life, and they’re just fine. If he doesn’t want a relationship, that’s okay too. Drew didn’t mean to imply that, and she tells him sorry to throw his life in turmoil. Geez, he should be used to it by now. She’s sure they have a lot to talk about, but whatever he decides, she asks him not to do it tonight. She owes it to Oscar to tell him the truth first. Drew asks what Oscar is like; he’s met him a few times, and he seems like a good kid. Kim says he’s a great kid, and a fine young man – just like he was. She leaves, and Sam hugs Drew.

Cassandra says she’s all clear, and Finn has made his last note. She’s no longer his patient. Finn says technically, no. She says then there’s no good no reason to decline her invitation to meet tomorrow, and enjoy a conversation and meal. He says, as friends, and she says, what about colleagues? He asks what that’s about, and she thinks there’s a way they can help each other.

Jordan says Andre was married the whole time, but he says it’s not that simple. She says she would have understood, but he didn’t give her a chance. Andre tells her the marriage was dissolved years ago. Her family asked him to end it, so they could be her primary caregivers. He walked away from the woman he loved to give her peace. Jordan asks if he thought she would think less of him, and he says, yes. He had to put it in the past. He’s sorry. He knows he should have been honest, but was afraid of losing the first woman who made him feel like he could love again.

Nelle says she’s not jeopardizing her pregnancy with an invasive procedure. Carly says times have changed. It’s non-invasive now, and can be done as early as ten weeks. Michael says Nelle has no reason to worry or object. I wonder when Nelle would have had the time to be with someone else.

Britt says that Faison threw the manuscript in the fire, and said if she wasn’t going with him, she was on her own. She says she’s answered all of their questions, and asks if Sonny could answer one for her. She wonders how Ben has been. She knows he’s named Rocco now, but he’ll always be Ben to her. Sonny says he’s a good kid, and tells Britt that he had a long list for Santa. She thanks him for telling her, but he says don’t make him regret it. She can’t have contact with him or Spencer. She tells him that she won’t, and asks what now? He says he’s calling Dante, and telling him she’s there. Britt says she can save him the trouble. Give her a ride to the station. She’ll turn herself in.

Nelle says as long as they can guarantee it’s not invasive, go ahead and schedule the test. Michael will see she’s telling the truth. Carly says that will be a first. Nelle knows how they feel about her, but she’s not asking for anything. She tells Michael to sell the apartment. After this, there’s nothing connecting them. If he wants to be a father, she won’t stop him, but if not, it’s on him, but they’ll be fine.

Jordan says Andre should have told her the truth. She wouldn’t be walking around agonizing, thinking the man she once loved is a stranger. She thanks him, and understands. He tells her the whole time they were together, he kept accusing her of pulling away, but how could he expect her to be open when he wasn’t willing to let her see the real him? Here he is; the real him, finally. He hopes getting to know him now, brings her that peace. She says it’s nice to meet him too, and hopes he also gets the peace he needs.

Cassandra says she’ll set something up. Finn is curious as to how they help one another, and asks if she has any hints. She doesn’t want to ruin the surprise, but she might have something for him in her pharmaceutical company. They’ll discuss it, providing his lady friend doesn’t mind. Finn says she’s not part of this, and won’t mind. Cassandra goes into the elevator, and Finn sees Anna. She asks, what is he doing?

Jason believes the traitor kept him alive. Sonny says they don’t know if it’s even a man or a woman. Jason says maybe Drew saw them, since he was taken first. His memory was removed, but Andre took a baseline. Maybe he can give Drew his memories back. Didn’t Andre burn all the research?

Drew tells Sam that he doesn’t know how to proceed. He has a son now. How can they have a relationship after all these years? He doesn’t even know who he is. How can he make up for the years lost? Sam says he can’t, but he can start from here. He asks what about her, and she says nothing has changed. They knew he had a life before, and there might be more surprises. She’s in it for the long haul. If he wants to pursue a relationship with Oscar, she’s all in. They kiss.

Kim finds Oscar and Josslyn. Josslyn says she was just about to go. Kim says there’s something she wants to talk to Oscar about on the way home. He says he wants to talk about something too. Josslyn hugs him, and whispers, good luck. As they walk, Kim says she knows he’s been looking for answers.

Carly tells Michael when test proves Nelle is lying, she’ll be out of their lives for good. Michael asks what if it’s the truth? Carly says she’s lied about everything else. He says there’s a good chance the baby is his. If it is, she’s going to be part of their lives whether they like it or not.

Anna says Finn is doing the exactly what she told him not to. He asks if he’s a Labrador. He doesn’t work for her, and what he does on his own time is his business. She says he’s in over his head. He tells her that argument was nowhere to be found when she wanted him to deceive Cassandra before. He thinks he can play her, and she’ll be none the wiser. He cares as much as Anna does, and he’s moving forward, with or without her approval. She threatens to arrest him, and he tells her to go ahead. She just looks at him, and he says he didn’t think so. When he leaves, she says, okay, fine. Two can play at this game.

Tomorrow, Britt is glad to see someone, Laura takes on a new challenge, and Cassandra and Finn make a toast.

Vanderpump Rules

Lala looks good in the credits. There’s something a lot less harsh-looking about her.

Back at Scheana’s masquerade party, Schwartz says his instinct is to defend Jax. Brittany tells Jax if it’s true, she’s moving out, taking the dogs, and he can go to effing hell. Lisa approaches Faith, who swears Jax told her that he and Brittany were done. Seriously? She didn’t double-check that? Where was Brittany? In the bathroom? Lisa tells Brittany she doesn’t know what to believe. In her interview, Lisa never believes anything starting with I heard, but when it comes to Jax, it’s true. Jax says he’s blindsided. In his interview, he doesn’t understand, claiming he’s been faithful. Brittany is embarrassed, but Kristen and Scheana say she has nothing to be embarrassed about, and she’s the best thing that’s happened to all of them. Kristen tells Brittany that Jax is lucky she didn’t shove her stiletto down his throat and up his ass. Alrighty then. I hope she’s on my side in a fight. Inside, Jax calls for shots. Tom tells Scheana they don’t know for sure, and Jax says he’s not going to chase her down the street. Scheana says he should; her heart is broken, and he doesn’t deserve her.

James tells them that Faith missed her period. In his interview, Jax says this kind of sh*t ruins people’s lives. Like he didn’t have anything to do with it. Brittany thought he was changing for her, but if this is true, she’s punching him in his fake nose.

At Villa Rosa, Fadi the car broker brings Lisa a new offering from Ken. She tells us that she doesn’t like to be brattish in saying outright that she wants something, but is very good at hinting. Stassi drops by, and admires the car. In her interview, she says if being good at sex means a Rolls Royce, she must not be good, and needs to step it up.

Lisa asks what’s going on. She heard Stassi is interested in event planning. Stassi says she loves styling, decorating, and throwing parties, and event planning is like styling an atmosphere. If she’s going to learn from anyone, it’s Lisa. She wants to see if she’s cut out for this. Lisa says she’s extraordinarily bright, but a pita, and we flash back to Stassi being just that. Lisa thinks she definitely has a sense of style, something that can’t be taught; it has to be inherent. She asks Stassi to organize part of the restaurant for a party on Saturday. Stassi mentions that she’s gotten back together with Patrick. Lisa asks why not Jax? They discuss the situation with Brittany. Stassi says Jax is lucky she wasn’t at the party. She’s always wanted to impale someone, and put their head on a spike in her apartment. Lisa doesn’t get what the attraction is, and Stassi says Jax tells women what they want to hear. Lisa says he did the same thing to her, and Stassi says it’s a weird time to think about.

Brittany says too many people know about it and she has to tell her mom. Katie says she’s the last person who deserves this. She doesn’t know why he does this when he has perfect girl. She thinks he has a serious problem. She talks about the problems they’ve had, and how she found fake eyelashes on the counter. She wonders what’s wrong with her, and Katie tells Brittany that it wouldn’t matter; he would do this to anyone. Brittany says she’s going to Vegas. She’s single and is going to act like it.

Jax sticks his head in the room, but Brittany doesn’t want to look at him. He insists he didn’t do anything. and says someone is trying to sabotage him. He shows Brittany some texts, which don’t make things any better, and probably make them worse. She throws the phone at him, and says she hates him. He doesn’t deserve her. She moved, and left her family for him. She’s done. She hates him. Brittany cries on Katie’s shoulder, and Jax leaves.

James and Raquel go to PUMP. Lisa has funny sense of déjà vu, seeing Raquel’s super short short-shorts. We flash back to Brittany wearing similar ones when she had her job interview. James says the party was fun, but Lisa doesn’t quite agree. He says Raquel is interested in working at Vanderpump Pets. Harrison! Lisa asks what she does as a job, and Raquel says she’s a model and goes to school for kinesiology (it’s strange and complicated – google it). Lisa says it would probably be better if she volunteered. The volunteers do the brushing, walking, and cleaning up. In her interview, Lisa says Raquel is going to be on her knees with a scooper. She sarcastically tells Raquel to wear shorter shorts, and Raquel promises to dress appropriately for work.

James asks if he could take over SUR one night. Lisa says she thought the meeting wasn’t about him, and he says he thought he’d kill two birds with one stone, since she’s so busy. In his interview, James says he misses working for Lisa. In her interview, Lisa calls him a pita, but says she thought he’d come back, and hopefully be more mature. She might give it a try, but she’s not going to make it easy. He’s going to have to start at the bottom and work up. She gives him a maybe for Tuesdays.

It’s Ariana’s brother Jeremy’s birthday. Schwartz says it’s second party Katie wasn’t invited to that he’s attended in less than twelve hours. Ariana says Schwartz is schwasted. He never stopped drinking since he started at Scheana’s party, and at a certain point, it’s not cute. Tom gives Jeremy their house keys. In his interview, he says last time Jeremy interrupted their sex life, but they’re going through a dry spell now, and he might as well join the priesthood. James can’t believe Faith didn’t come.

Brit goes home, and talks to the dogs, but not Jax. He tries to talk to her, and she tells him to go away, then asks if he had her in their bed. He says no one has been there, and she calls him a liar. He can keep denying all he wants; he just looks like an idiot. She says to tell her the truth, and he says it is true. She tells him to rot in hell, and I’m totally on board with that. She talks about another time in their relationship when she went through months of denial. She asks why do that, and he says it was a bad time. Brittany says that when you love someone, you don’t do that. She didn’t do that to him, and would never do that to him. In her interview, he says they’ve been fighting for a long time, and we flash back to him being an a-hole in Kentucky. She hopes it was worth it. Wow. This is making me sad. Even though I can’t stand him, I feel badly for her. Brittany cries, as she holds one of the dogs. Seriously. She’s breaking my heart.

Pride Day is tomorrow, and Tom thinks it’s important that they go. He wants to surprise Lisa. He wants to do whatever it takes to keep the partnership alive. He says Jax has had a rough 24-hours. Oh, poor baby. Schwartz mumbles about Stockholm Syndrome. Ariana says Brittany deserves the world, or at least her boyfriend not screwing her friends. James tells them about Faith not getting her period. Tom wonders when Jax will stop pulling this sh*t.

Schwartz talks to Jax on the phone. Tom hunts him down. He tells Schwartz that he’s mad at Jax, and Schwartz starts crying, saying he’s been struggling. Tom says talk to him. Schwartz says, first of all, he’s drunk – ha-ha! Yeah, drunk and weepy. It’s the first time in his life he has no drive. Tom says Schwartz is his friend, and he’d never let anything happen to him. In his interview, Schwartz says he has all these new pressures, like being a husband. He tells Tom that he’s always anticipating a bad future. Tom says they’ll open up the bar,and it will be amazing. Schwartz is an awesome person, and it’s a privilege to know him. Schwartz says it goes both ways, and I lmao because they are both so drunk, and in that teary, sappy phase. In his interview, Schwartz hopes Lisa forgives Tom. Schwartz needs structure and stability to move on to the next chapter.

Brittany calls her mother, and says she needs her. She tells her mom about Jax, and that she’s going to Vegas. She slams the picture of them from her nightstand onto the floor. She says she should have known better, and just needed to tell her. Brittany’s mom says she loves her, and tells her to call back later. Brittany leaves for Vegas. In her interview, Brittany says she seriously thought she was going to marry Jax. She wanted it bad, and the thought of him cheating makes her want to cry. She tells us that you don’t treat someone like this if you love them, and he obviously doesn’t. Jax watches as she gets in a car. What an a-hole this guy is. I hope he dies alone.

It’s the Long Beach Gay Pride parade, and no surprise, Lisa is Grand Marshal. I don’t even think there can be a parade without LVP. Ken does the driving, and Lisa says she feels a lot of love. Everyone is being themselves, and that should be what life is about. Simply, and well put, and I agree. She sees Tom and Ariana, and asks where Schwartz is. He’s in the bathroom. Lisa makes a speech, but we don’t get to hear it. Ken asks about Jax, and Tom says he’s a mess. When he saw him last, he was in the fetal position on the couch. Tom says he loves Brittany, and Lisa says don’t defend him; he’ll look ridiculous. Tom says at least Jax admitted it. In her interview, Lisa says she’s not enamored of Jax’s eff-ups, and hopes Brittany dumps him. We visit the leather tent. In his interview, Tom says he really doesn’t understand BDS&M, but since they’re going through a dry spell, maybe there’s something to it. He asks Ariana if she thinks it might solve some of their issues, and she discusses exploring it with some dude who I guess is an expert. In her interview, Ariana tells us about some of the problems she and Tom are having, including him wanting to go to karaoke six nights a week, which I find nothing wrong with.

Ariana says when she lived in NYC, Pride Day always fell on her birthday. Lisa asks about Brittany, and Ariana tells her that Brittany is in Vegas. She’s disgusted, and wants to move on. Tom babbles about Jax loving her, and how he can’t help himself. Lisa says Jax has a different definition of love. Don’t tell her, show her. Yep. Take note, mostly men. Tom apologizes about criticizing her part in the restaurant. He says he just wants to get the bullsh*t out of the way. Lisa says show her. In her interview, she says she doesn’t need their expertise or their money. She doesn’t need anything from them, but the feel good factor.

Kristen visits Stassi, and asks if she’s excited for tonight. Stassi says when she started feeling romantic again, she felt like people would judge her for going back to Patrick. Kristen thinks she and Patrick get each other, and wants to start planning the wedding; she loves them together. Patrick comes in. He’s wearing a man bun, which immediately makes me cringe, since Josh from Sweet Home Oklahoma is the only man I’ll accept wearing one. Stassi says she missed their joking and laughing – and his man bun. She says he’s like a warrior; like someone from out of Game of Thrones. Double no, just no.

Brittany goes to work. Ariana says she looks tan and gorgeous. Brittany says Vegas was awesome. Ariana asks how she’s been, but she doesn’t know. She has different feelings. Sometimes she’s sad, sometimes she’s mad, and she’s heartbroken. She said she was going to act single, but everybody grossed her out. Scheana says it’s been six months, and she’s not ready yet, but acts like she is. Brittany says she just wants to be alone, and clear her mind. Everyone is supportive.

In the limo, Patrick says he’s trying to keep everyone happy, and Stassi says she’s trying to keep him happy. He tells her the outfit is helping. She’s wearing a slinky, strapless, low-cut black jumpsuit that looks fantastic on her. They go to a restaurant, and when they order, I almost find it cute that they say the same thing at the same time. Almost. Stassi tells Patrick about talking to Lisa regarding event planning. He asks if she has ideas, and she says she’s watched a million YouTube videos. She says listening to his podcast makes her insecure about hers. She wants him to hear hers, and tell her what she’s doing wrong. He says somehow hers got turned into a juggernaut, then has to explain that word, along with a couple of others he uses. In her interview, Stassi says she’s never been in a dating situation where she wasn’t the smart one.

Patrick tells her that she’s a really good person, batsh*t crazy, and uber talented. He’s taking a trip to Amsterdam, and says it will be a good experience for him. Getting back together taught them a lesson: don’t talk when you’re apart, and when you’re back together, don’t talk about what happened when you were apart. In her interview, Stassi says she wants it to work, but she’s terrified it’s not going to because she wants it so badly. She thinks getting back together is more of an emotional commitment than first time they got together. Patrick says she’s freaking him out. In her interview, Stassi says she’s willing to fight for the relationship.

Jax arrives at SUR for his shift, and asks Tom how Pride was. Tom says he got handcuffed and whipped. He kind of likes it, so Ariana got one. Brittany comes to the bar, and asks Tom for a cocktail, sort of ignoring Jax. Saying nothing, but shooting daggers with her eyes. Jax wants to talk, but not at work. Tom says it’s not a good idea.

Brittany steps away, and Lisa asks how she is. Brittany says it’s a weird situation. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. Lisa tells her that she’s young; sh*t happens

Tom tells Jax it’s not easy all the time. Jax wants to work on it, but says he needs therapy. Tom suggests he make up an overnight bag, get his sh*t together, and get out of the apartment.

Lisa tells Brittany that she has a lot of support. Jax is the only a-hole in the situation. She hopes Brittany has the strength to make the right choices. She tells Brittany that she’ll be fine. The girls rally around her.  hopes trangth to make right chocies tells her she’ll be fine the girls rally around her

Jax says there’s no one better to tell him how to run a relationship. Tom says he put himself in the situation, and now everyone is pissed at him, including him. Brittany’s emotions are like a roller coaster, and she needs time to think. Tom tells him to give her some space. Jax doesn’t think she really wants to leave him, but Tom begs to differ.

Brittany tells the girls that she did something stupid in a moment of weakness. They had sex. I go, arrrgh! out loud. Brittany says she wanted affection. In her interview, she wishes she could stop loving him; it would be easier for her, but she can’t, and she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

Next time, Schwartz apologizes to Lisa and Ken, Stassi throws a party with a Jax piñata, and Lala is back.

😱 A horrifying postscript – Brittany and Jax are back together. He was a guest on Watch What Happens Live tonight. He said he’s “a work in progress.” I’m surprised he didn’t get rotten tomatoes thrown at him.

😊 On the other hand. RelationShep is very sweet. I think Shep is good-hearted, and maybe realizes he doesn’t want to grow old alone. It’s fun watching him travel around too. I especially loved seeing Austin, a place I’d love to visit. In the next phase, several of the girls he’s had dates with will come to Charleston, where they’ll live in the same house, much like The Bachelor. It looks like there will be some drama, but I think Shep deserves to find what he’s looking for. He also gave a couple of good quotes…

I like very pretty brunettes. I guess everybody does. That was a stupid comment.Shep Rose, RelationShep

That’s when the cows come home to roost.Shep Rose, RelationShep

GetThroughWeekPup

GetThroughWeekPup2

December 4, 2017 – The Two Jason Aftermath, Vanderpump Rules Again, Shep Looks for a Mate & Don’t

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Elizabeth tells Franco that something huge has affected all their lives. She doesn’t know how they’ll come back from that.

Josslyn pulls a DNA test out of her bag. Oscar says it will be the longest 48-hours of his life, but she tells him that she’s paying to have it expedited, so it will only be 24-hours. Michael comes by and asks what they’re up to.

Andrew asks Sam where they go from here? She says home, and looks at him like he’s stupid. He says home suddenly seems as unreal as he is.

On the docks, Jason sighs, an art he is perfecting. Alexis approaches him. She was wondering when she’d run into him. He tells her that they’ve finally found proof that he’s the Jason he says he is.

Sam tells Andrew it’s real. Her and him in this room is real. Her arms wrapped around him are real, and her eyes looking into his. It’s because of who he is, not his name. He’s the man she married and loves. They have a family and home. She wants him to tell her he knows it’s real, and he says it’s as real as it gets.

Oscar tells Michael he’s keeping Josslyn company while she does her homework, and Josslyn explains that Carly wanted her where people could keep eye on her. Michael says he just talked to her, and Josslyn asks if she’ll be released soon. He says she’s at the station getting answers about Jason. Oscar wonders if they know who is who yet.

Elizabeth tells Franco she’s proud of him, not just because he dropped the charges, but he helped unravel the mystery of the two Jasons. If he hadn’t told them about there being twins, who knows how long it would have dragged out. He says he told them kicking and screaming, but she says he did it, and that’s what matters. It’s all out in the open. He tells her he can’t say no to her, and she says they can all get on with their lives now. Robin joins them, and asks if there’s proof now. Elizabeth says that they found out Andrew was a Navy SEAL, and had prints on file. Robin says it’s crazy; Jason lost five whole years. Franco says that he’ll live to terrorize another day, and wanders off. Robin asks Elizabeth if they know why, and she says they don’t know the details, but have Andre to thank. He created a memory mapping program with the WSB, but there were ethical concerns, and it never got off the ground. He found another backer, and Elizabeth explains that Andre came to Port Charles to keep an eye on Andrew. Robin says it’s a lot to figure out, and Elizabeth says there will definitely be some serious conversations in the future.  Franco breezes through with a sarcastic remark, and Elizabeth says Robin probably intimidates him; he gets snarky when he’s uncomfortable. She says it goes back to his childhood, and has been an emotional roller coaster. Robin reminds Elizabeth about what happened when she came back, and Patrick was getting married. She says none of it was her fault, and none of this is Jason’s fault.

Sam says, talk to me, Jason, then apologizes. He says it’s okay, it’s only a name, just not his name. He opens his wallet, and takes out his ID, saying he never liked the picture anyway, and throws it on the table. He starts flinging things out of his wallet. Sam tells him to stop pretending it’s not hard. He says he never pretended or lied; it’s very hard.

Jason tells Alexis he needed to think, and asks why she’s there. She says she has no fond memories of the place, and is a glutton for punishment. She asks if Sam knows, and when he says she does, Alexis asks where she is. He tells her that Sam is with his brother. Alexis says she’d be lying if she told him that she wasn’t relieved to hear that.

Michael tells Josslyn that a fingerprint match sealed it. She asks how Sam is, and he says, adjusting. It’s going to be an adjustment period for all of them. Michael admits she’s happy, but still feels bad. Andrew didn’t have the life he thought he had, but at least he can figure it out now. Nelle comes by and asks to borrow Michael.

Nelle tells Michael not to look so happy to see her. He tells her he thought they’d said everything they needed to say. She says that something came up. She ordered a Christmas present before they broke up, and it arrived. He tells her to just return it, but she says it’s for Josslyn.

Robin knows Jason won’t push to see Jake; it’s on Elizabeth. She knows it would be easier to let it lie, but tells her don’t do that. Jake will be lucky to have Jason in his life, no matter the capacity. Elizabeth says Jason hates Franco, and Robin says she can’t argue with that; he’s entitled to. Elizabeth tells her that Jake loves Franco, and so does she. She’s stuck. She can’t explain Franco to Jason, or Jason to Franco. Robin says she had to explain to Patrick why there was a mobster in her life that she trusted and relied on. She understands what it means to Elizabeth, but not why. Jason would never do anything to hurt Jake, physically or emotionally, and would stay away if he thought it was the right thing to do.

Franco goes to Andre’s cell, and asks if he shouldn’t be the one lying down. Andre asks why he’s there, and Franco says he needs a session in the worst way.

Alexis says he didn’t see Sam after he disappeared. She completely shut down until she tried to save him. She put on a wet suit, dove into the water, and looked, but couldn’t find him. He hates that she went through that. Alexis knows, and has done everything to spare her. She tells him to consider this a second chance. Sam survived. She did better, and persevered, putting the darkness and danger behind her. She has a new life; does he understand? A loving, well-adjusted life with her husband and children. She asks him not to make her give that up.

Andrew asks what they should tell Danny. He’s going to be scared of Jason; he’s a stranger. Sam says they’ll figure it out. Andrew asks if she wants him to be there, and she says of course. They’re in this together. He’s her heart, and she loves him.

She tells Michael not to tell Josslyn it’s from her; Carly will freak. Just put it under the tree, and say it’s from Santa. Michael says she’s a big girl, and Nelle is her friend; she should know.

Josslyn tells Oscar that he doesn’t have to do this, but he says, let’s go for it, and does the swab. She knows the chances are minuscule, but if it turns out Andrew is his father, who is he bringing the results to; his mom or his dad?

Elizabeth tells Robin that Jason would never hurt Jake; just the opposite. Robin asks what about Franco, and Elizabeth says he’s living with her. She gets he’s not Robin’s favorite person, and Robin asks if he’s anybody’s, which I think is highly insensitive of Robin, and Elizabeth says, um… hers? She says it seems crazy, but not to her. He makes her laugh, he’s amazing with the boys, and when she’s with him, she feels safe and secure. She’s more herself than she’s been in years; she’s even thinking about art again. He challenges her, and wants more for her because he thinks she deserves it. Robin says she does. Elizabeth says it’s beautiful, uncomplicated, and honest, and he’s her partner in every sense of the word. They’ve created a home together, and she can’t imagine life without him.

Franco tells Andre that he got the painting, but Andre says that’s not all he left. He was hoping Franco did right thing, and Franco says, like he did a couple of weeks ago? He left everyone hanging for years. Andre says look what it got him. Franco asks why not take him down, and Andre says Franco is still his patient. He abused the relationship, but still respects it, and him and Elizabeth. Franco says Elizabeth is super pissed at him. Andre says she has the right to be. He betrayed her trust, and it wasn’t Franco’s mess to clean up. He apologizes for involving Franco, but Franco says he kind of involved himself. Andre says he won’t tell anyone, but Franco asks what’s up with his tone. Andre tells Franco the truth shall set you free. Franco says it landed Andre behind bars. Andre says for the first time he can breathe. No more lies, no more secrets. He asks if it wouldn’t feel good to say the same.

Andrew tells Sam that he sees it every day, especially how she stood by him in the last few weeks. She tells him she wouldn’t say I love you if she didn’t. He says that if she wants to go back, he won’t stand in the way. Sam says that she loved Jason, but that was five years ago. A lot has changed, and she loves him. That’s not going to change.

Alexis tells Jason that she’s not saying it lightly. She knows what he and Sam meant to each other. Sam was devastated when she lost him, but he put her life in danger. She knows he doesn’t mean to hurt her, but did nonetheless. Sam was okay in her life with him, but she’s moved beyond that, and as mom, Alexis is relieved. Sam knows she’s loved, secure, and safe. She understands that Sam thought Andrew was him, but it’s no less real. Jason says he understands. Alexis will never understand why he chooses to do what he does, but knows he loves her daughter. She tells him don’t call, don’t show up, don’t offer to help, don’t ask anything, just don’t. Let Sam go.

Oscar says he’s been so focused on this part, he doesn’t know what comes next. Josslyn says he doesn’t have to. By this time tomorrow, they’ll have an answer. Michael comes back, and says Nelle has something for her, an early Christmas present. Oscar leaves, and Nelle says she hopes she didn’t interrupt. Josslyn says she can always interrupt for a present, but feels badly because she didn’t get anything for Nelle. Nelle says her friendship is all she needs. It’s a personally autographed photo of Shawn Mendes. Josslyn freaks out, and Nelle says she called in a favor. Josslyn hugs Nelle, and thanks her.

Robin tells Elizabeth if Franco makes her happy, it’s good enough for her, and wishes them the best. Now, she has to get back to her husband, kids, work, and life. She say, damn life; always getting in the way. They make small talk, and Elizabeth says life is fabulous, and she thinks it’s about to get even better.

Franco asks if doctor/patient confidentiality still applies. He’s still threatened by Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. Elizabeth has been in love with both of them, and now they’re rearing their ugly muscled heads. Andre asks if they’re the problem, or is Franco sabotaging his own happiness. Andre believes Franco thinks he doesn’t deserved to be loved, and Franco says maybe he doesn’t. Maybe Jason was right to try and kill him, and maybe Drew would be right too, after he pushed him down the stairs. Andre says he was a child. Franco says two brothers from the same mother want him dead. Andre thinks he’s using it as an excuse to not be honest with Elizabeth. The more he holds it in, the more it eats away at him, and erodes the relationship. Franco asks what if she doesn’t understand or believe him? Andre says if she stops loving him, it’s going to happen anyway if it continues down this path. He tells Franco to learn from his mistake. Tell her the truth and give her a chance to decide. He might be pleasantly surprised. The guard says, time’s up, which is actually funny, since that’s what a shrink always says at the end of a session. They wish each other good luck.

Alexis tells Jason that Sam and Andrew had a child together. Jason says, so do they. Alexis says she’s happy, and that state of being doesn’t come easily to Sam. She says Andrew is a good man, and walked away from Sonny for his family; don’t pull her back into that dark cloud. Jason says he never told her what to do, and he’s not starting now. Alexis hopes Sam is a mature enough mother to know he’s not an option for her. She walks away, and Jason heaves another sigh.

Sam tells Andrew the last five years led her to him, the man she loves. She didn’t fall in love because of his name, but because he’s him, and she couldn’t imagine life without him. Their life is real. Nothing is going to change that. Andrew says it would kill him if he lost her, but she says he didn’t; she’s standing right here. He tells her that he needs to figure out who Andrew Kane is, and she says they’ll do it together. He says it’s a lot. He’ll need to think. He leaves, and she looks at the picture of him in uniform with his old face.

Alexis sees Sam, and tells her she just ran into Jason – the legal one. Sam asks what he said, and she says not much; typical Jason fashion. She knows it’s hard to process, and Sam says it’s a little overwhelming. Alexis knows how much she loves him, and what a huge person he was in her life, but he’s not going to change. They know that’s who he is, and it might work for him, but doesn’t work for her. Alexis tells her to think of her children. Sam asks if Alexis thought about hers when she hooked up with Julian. Valid point. Alexis says if she goes back, she does so knowing what he does and what he’ll do to her children. Sam says she can’t breathe and has to go. She jets.

At the hospital, Franco tells himself, just tell truth. It’s not the end of the world, just his world. He sees Elizabeth, who thought he went home. He says he did, but came back because he needs to tell her something important that possibly might change things. She says she has something too, and tells him, let’s get married.

Andrew is on the bridge. Oscar shows up, and he says, we meet again. Oscar says, sorry, but Andrew says don’t apologize; it’s a good place to think. He asks if Oscar’s mom knows where he is, but then remembers she tracks him on the phone. Oscar says no anymore; he ditched the GPS. Andrew says he understands being impulsive. They place their hands exactly the same way on the railing.

Sam goes to the docks (oh, come on), and sees Jason. They gaze at each other.

Franco is surprised Elizabeth wants to marry him. She says more than anything. He asks, why now, and she says because she’s madly in love with him. She can’t imagine her world without him in it. He says those are good reasons, and he has the same ones. She asks if it’s a yes, and he says a gazillion yeses/ They kiss. She asks what he wanted to tell her, but he says it’s not important. He loves her, and she makes him happy. They kiss again, and he holds her.

Josslyn tells Nelle it’s the best gift ever, and Nelle tells her they’ll have lunch at Kelly’s soon. Michael is taking a call in the hallway, saying to call him back when they have the numbers. Nelle says a CEO’s work is never done, and thanks him for encouraging her to give Josslyn the gift; she had fun watching her open it. Michael says it was a home run, and Nelle says it was nice to put a smile on her face. She leaves, and when she gets to the elevator, takes a Sharpie out of her bag, and clicks it shut. Ooh, I guess she autographed the photo. Slick Nelle.

Josslyn puts the test in the envelope, and says, here goes nothing.

Oscar says he should leave Andrew alone, but Andrew says he doesn’t have to go; there’s plenty of room. They stand exactly the same way, with their arms folded, and I have to laugh. It’s kind of cute actually.

Jason and Sam approach each other. He says, it’s gonna be okay. Whatever happens, it’s all gonna work out. A tear rolls down her cheek. She thanks him, and he walks away. She wipes the tears off her face.

Tomorrow, Olivia wishes Monica could see her as a member of the family, Maxie surprises Amy, and Ned suggests buying out Jason and Drew.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s Scheana’s birthday costume party. Someone says they had sex with Jax. We see everyone’s reactions, and the interviewer asks if he cheated on Brittany.

Things are jumping at SUR. Lisa steals a French fry. Oh, wait. It’s probably pommes frites there. She says the restaurant has really matured in ten years. In his interview, Jax says he and Brittany are doing better since Kentucky. We flash back to the miserable time they had there. He says she stayed for a while, but since then, things have been great. She’s getting off the couch now, and into the gym. Because, God knows, that was the main issue with their relationship. Sighing like Jason on GH.

Scheana says she’s in a good place, and in a new relationship. His name is Rob, and they dated off and on, then she took a six-year break with Shay. We flash back to her telling Shay that she wants a divorce. She says if it was anyone else, she wouldn’t have started dating so quickly. She’s still waiting on the final divorce certificate.

Lisa tells Tom they’re waiting for the paperwork on the bar that she and the Toms are opening. She tells him he has to commit to it. In his interview, he says they want him and Schwartz to invest $100K. He can manage to scrape it together, but they’re not officially partners until he writes her a check.

Scheana tells Ariana to avoid Katie, who’s been rage texting. She took something as an insult that wasn’t meant that way, and they haven’t talked since. Since Katie and Stassi haven’t been in her life, Scheana feels like a weight has lifted. She tells Katie she’s not invited to her birthday party because she doesn’t want drama. This is one of the rudest things I’ve ever seen anyone do, and I’ve seen a lot of rude things. Not inviting someone is fine – it’s your party – but making a point of telling them they’re not invited? No, just no. Katie says one minute she’s a best friend, and the next Scheana hates her. She was a bridesmaid at Katie’s wedding, and made a decision somewhere along the line that they weren’t friends. Scheana tells Katie that her friends don’t speak to her the way Katie does, and Katie says her friends don’t speak about her the way Scheana does. Scheana thinks she’ll need to have the same conversation with Stassi, and Katie says count her out.

Sitting in one of the booths at SUR, Tom tells Ariana that he’s nervous. He thinks Ken and Lisa will just be doing their thing, and put the Toms’ names on it. Ariana says he’s done research. In his interview, Tom tells us about his research trip with Schwartz and Jax, where they looked into a way to incorporate weed into the venue, but found out you can’t legally incorporate it into drinks. He’s afraid that he’s going to get pushed around and told what to do. Tom suddenly realizes that Ken and Lisa are about two tables away. Giggy! In his interview, Tom says he’s positive they’ve heard every word he said. He cuts what he’s saying short. Lisa wonders what’s wrong with him, since they haven’t even started yet. What my father called crying before you’re hurt.

Katie visits Stassi, who recently moved into a new apartment in the same building. It doesn’t have central air-conditioning, and Stassi is tearing open a box with a window unit. She suggests blending some margaritas, since fruit is healthy. Katie tells Stassi about Scheana informing her that she’s not invited to her party. She says it’s fine if Scheana doesn’t want to be friends. Stassi suggests texting her and asking if she’s invited. Ha-ha! I love Stassi’s sense of humor. In her interview, Stassi says Scheana seems to be going out of her way to be an a-hole. She tells Katie that she and Patrick are doing well, and it seems like it’s changed now. Katie hopes so; she doesn’t want to see Stassi go through the pain again. Stassi says it seems like there was a shift. Katie tells us that married life is amazing, and better than dating life. They can plan for the future in a real way, and to the ultimate, final destination they’re both headed for – death.

James and Logan have a drink. Logan is James’s new best mate who he met at PUMP. He tells Logan he’s been kicked out of PUMP six times. He tells Logan that Raquel is coming back for the entire summer, and he’s refurbished accordingly, like getting a new rug that doesn’t have vomit and wine stains on it. Raquel arrives, and James tells Logan to get lost. See you in September, Logan.

Tom and Schwartz go to the TomTom site. Tom wants it to have heart and hand-crafted cocktails. And sexy TVs. Whatever that means. Schwartz thinks Tom’s attention to detail is great, but he becomes hyper-focused on unimportant things. Tom is worried that Ken and Lisa will be doing everything. He tells Schwartz about them overhearing his conversation with Ariana. Schwartz asks if it’s an issue, or should they pretend it didn’t happen. Tom says wait to see if they bring it up.

Ken and Lisa arrive. They talk about the kitchen. Lisa says a lot of work has gone on behind the scenes. It’s going to be romantic industrial, not pretty, but with pretty elements. Tom asks if it’s going to be comfortable, and Ken says yes, explaining the floor plan. Tom is skeptical, and in her interview, Lisa says what were they thinking, doing thirty-three restaurants without Tom’s input? In Tom’s interview, he says he’s investing $100K, so they’ll have to deal with his questions. Both logical comments. Schwartz says they have the experience and are putting in the majority of the of the capital. Lisa says, all of the capital, and tells him that she and Ken had decided to have a quiet drink, and heard Tom saying a lot of negative things. Tom says she purposely hid. He was venting on the assumption that they were alone. Well, of course Lisa can do no wrong, but it sure looked like they’d been there a while, and I think Tom and Ariana sat down without noticing them, so way it goes. Lisa says they’re giving him a leg up because she’s invested in him. She’s giving him an opportunity to shine with his artisan cocktails, and hears negative comments straightaway. Schwartz is concerned that Tom is screwing it up before it starts. Lisa says she’s going to PUMP and rethinking it.

Brittany does a facial mask on Jax. He tells us that they upgraded their housing; it made sense. Brittany thinks they’re going to have fun tonight. They haven’t been out in a while, and they need this. She says dating Jax is confusing, because he has multiple personalities, and it’s hard to know who he really is. She tells him no more mess-ups, and asks if he loves her. He says he does.

Tom sets up a credenza. He tells us that he and Ariana have been together three years. It’s time to take the next step, and buy a credenza together. He tells her about Lisa bringing up the other night, and not being happy. Ariana thinks she shouldn’t be eavesdropping. He had valid concerns. He says she wasn’t sure about moving forward with the bar, and is worried he’s jeopardized it for Schwartz as well. He wonders if he’ll have to be bartender for the rest of his life.

Schwartz tells Katie what ties his outfit together is the mask. He’s wearing a suit with a Jason from Friday the 13th mask. In his interview, he says since they tied the knot, it’s getting better, but he doesn’t want to push it by telling her about Tom jeopardizing their venture. He puts on another mask to show Stassi. She asks if there are any more options, and puts on Jason mask. Ariana asks if he’s excited, and tells him that Scheana has been talking sh*t a lot. Why is he going??? In her interview, Stassi says he has a wife, and should put her first. Exactly. There’s no way in hell my husband would be going to a party I was told I wasn’t invited to. Schwartz says they have enough friends. If they lose one or two, eh.

Jax goes on a beer run. To Schwartz’s apartment. He asks if he can grab a beer, and Schwartz says he never texts; he just comes to the door. Stassi tells them that she’s seeing Patrick again. Schwartz says he got suspicious when she was out of town, and he saw Patrick in her car. Jax asks what Katie and Stassi are doing, and they say getting wasted. Schwartz suggests they put a hex on Scheana, that every time someone takes a picture with her, it’s on her bad side. Stassi tells us that she always photographs at the same angle, and will refuse to take a photo if it isn’t that way. Jax finally leaves after examining every edible thing in their kitchen.

Rob comes to pick up Scheana. In her interview, she says she cleared the apartment of everything Shay. She’s turned his mess of a room into her new bedroom, and the master bedroom into huge walk-in closet. Omg, I did a similar thing in my house. Hers is nicer than mine though, with more expensive clothing. She tells Rob that she pretty much invited whole crew, minus Stassi and Katie; Lala is out of town. Scheana tells him to be prepared for Lisa to grill him. In her interview, she says Rob was the last person she slept with before Shay, and the first person she slept with after Shay. She tells us that everything is bigger and better.

Everyone gets ready. I love Scheana’s mask! It’s a Victorian lace thing. Something like Lady Gaga would wear. Ariana tells Tom that he looks like General George Washington’s gay friend. Ariana tells us that they love costume parties. Tom tells her a buddy ran into Faith at the OK! Magazine party, and she said she’d been sleeping with Jax. Ariana says if it’s true, she’ll kill him. We flash back to Faith, who was a server at SUR, but not an integral part of any story. Not even Housewife “friend” caliber. Ariana tells Tom to talk to Jax, or she’s talking to Brittany. He thinks it’s farfetched, and maybe just a rumor.

The venue is a restaurant called The Guild, and the password is 420. It’s pretty crowded. Kristen and Faith are both there. James feels safe around Jax now, and in his interview, Jax says his opinion has changed. He used to want to bash James’s face in, but now kind of wants to take him under his wing, like a lost puppy. Scheana arrives, totally glam. Jax says Kristen must be excited, since usually crashes a party. In her interview, Kristen thinks Scheana should pump the breaks a little. She’s not looking for boyfriend, but a husband. Tom tells Jax about the candid conversation with Ariana, and how Lisa told him that she needs to think about it now.

Lisa comes in wearing a feathered headdress mask. Scheana introduces her to Rob, and she says he’d better be worthy. She tells Scheana not to minimize marriage. In her interview, she says that Scheana’s feelings aren’t a reliable source. At Katie’s wedding, she said she had butterflies for Shay, and she needs to slow down. Rob promises his phone is off. Jax talks about having kids, and how most of the world thinks he shouldn’t reproduce. I would be in that group. In her interview, Brittany says he knows marriage and kids are in her plan, and he told her family he wants to marry her. We flash back to that. She says they’re going in the right direction.

Stassi says it’s late night done right. She, Katie, and Schwartz are out for a pre-party drink. Stassi went to Bora Bora with them on their honeymoon. In her interview, she says there’s not much to do there, and she made it fun. She’d invite her too. She says she wouldn’t make it a thing not to invite someone to a party, and doesn’t know what went wrong. She feels good about it. She put in the effort, but now she’s free of it. She’s learned her lesson with Scheana. We flash back to their tumultuous relationship. She says time has proven they’re not meant to be friends.

Tom pulls Jax aside. Elsewhere in the room, James asks Faith if she’s okay. Tom tells Jax there’s a rumor about him and Faith. Faith tells James that says Jax told her he’d wanted her for a long time, and it happened so fast. Tom says he heard a rumor that Jax had sex with Faith, but he says he’s past that kind of behavior. Faith tells James she hasn’t had her period. In his interview, James is sure if Faith is pregnant, she’ll keep the baby, and says his head would explode just thinking about a mini Jax running around. Adam tells Brittany there’s a rumor that Jax slept with Faith.

Schwartz tells Brittany if it was true, he would cover, but he hasn’t heard anything about it. Brittany says that she basically can’t believe anybody. In his interview, Schwartz says Jax seems to love her. He doesn’t have his usual side chicks and low-key Tinder accounts. Jax tells Faith to let them know it’s not true. Shades of what he did to Lala. Faith asks if he’s serious. Tom says she went to Adam. She says she knows what she did. Brittany says she’ll go insane, and asks if someone can’t be honest. Adam says he doesn’t want to believe it, but he does. Brittany asks where Jax is. Scheana tells Lisa. In her interview, Brittany says Jax has done a lot of effed-up things, but if this is true, she’ll drop kick both their asses and they’re dead to her. She tells everyone she changed her life for him, and  if he cheated, she’s done.

Brittany approaches Jax. He says he didn’t do it; he’s getting into trouble for nothing, and being set up. He asks why he would hook up with someone in their circle, and we flash back to Kristen. Tom tells Scheana about it. In her interview, Kristen wants to bash his privates in with sledgehammer. She calls him a bunch of names, and tells him to go eff himself. Lisa asks if Brittany is okay, and she says no; it’s not fair. Kristen goes outside, and confronts Faith.

Jax tells Brittany that he didn’t do it. She says if she finds out it’s true, she’s moving out and taking the dogs with her, and he can rot in effing hell.

This season, flipping out, shot skis, twerking, drinking, nakedness, voguing, Stassi’s birthday, Pride Day (there can’t be one without Lisa), Mexico, Harrison! Giggy! Lisa says there are a lot of skanks in this town, Stassi says where there’s smoke there’s fire, Stassi and Patrick break up again, Lisa wants 100% commitment from the Toms, Lala is back, and Lisa asks for Jax’s resignation. Whew!

👱 I checked out RelationShep, and it’s light, but worthy. Cameron thinks it’s time for Shep to grow up. Me too, but I don’t have much hope for that. Shep says he’s unbearably wonderful, and Cameron believes he has the potential to be a catch, but has some things to work on. Shep doesn’t want to wake up 45 and single, so his friends across the country are going to be his matchmakers. It works kind of like The Bachelor, where he goes on dates with them, and then the final picks will go to his hometown to see if they gel. I like Shep, but my jury is out on whether he’s really ready to settle down or not.

😱 Alexis giving Jason a list of what not to do on GH, reminded me of the fake trailer for a fake movie called Don’t in the full version of Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse. Be forewarned, it’s gory. Funny, but gory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czR4qJbkSuc

Don'tGrindhouse

September 21, 2017 – Patient 6 Makes a Move, Jeff Just Plain Moves & I Still Hate Jax

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Curtis brings Jordan flowers.

Kristina and Parker meet outside of Kelly’s. Valerie sees them, and puts a move on Kristina, who tells her that Parker knows everything. Parker goes to get a table, and Valerie asks Kristina if she and Parker are good now. Kristina tells her that they’re going to talk.

Sam messes with Jason’s bedding, making the end of the bed the way he likes it. She tells him the kids will be there soon, and that she made all the lights on the way there. She wants him to get better, wake up, and come home to them. Sonny walks in.

Dante tells Lulu that Valentin got Ava to recant her statement. Her testimony is worthless now. He thinks it was part of a deal, in return for her getting into the clinic. Lulu asks Charlotte to go play while she runs something past her poppa. She tells Valentin drop the act, and asks what he did to Ava.

At the clinic, Ava can’t leave Patient 6 alone. She’s startled to see his sunglasses off, and says he has blue eyes. He probably knows that.

Jordan prevents Curtis from coming in. He says they need to talk, but she says she’s not in the mood. TJ comes out and asks what’s going on. She says that she and Curtis need to talk privately. Jordan asks Curtis what he wants. He says things got heated, and not in a fun way. He wonders if they can’t focus on what they have, and build from that. She tells him it’s not like they were arguing about what’s on TV. She asks if he’s going to work for Sonny.

Sonny tells Sam that he’s sorry to interrupt, and Sam says he’s not. She tells Sonny that the staff is wonderful, but she has to remind them about the sheets. He asks how she’s doing, and she says not so good. She feels like if she leaves, it becomes real. Sonny says she made the right decision. He did the same thing with Michael, and it was also difficult to put Morgan in the institution. Both places were great for his boys, and she needs to tell herself that. She hopes he can hear her, but wishes there was a way for him to tell her that he’s okay. Sonny says Michael was like a sounding board for him.

Lulu says it’s disgusting how Valentin is manipulating the situation. She asks what he offered Ava. She was almost fooled, and thought he really wanted to reach an agreement. He says his criminal record is actually cleaner than hers. They can go through the trouble of a hearing, or agree to share custody.

Ava tells Patient 6 that she had herself convinced he was Nikolas. She told herself a whole story about how he fell into the water and Valentin’s men brought him here. Which totally makes sense. She says then she would be the one to find him, and it wouldn’t matter that she sold him out. She hopes he forgives her flight of fancy, and she’ll do what she should have – leave him in peace. He watches her leave.

Curtis says that Jordan isn’t being fair. He’s not trying to work for the mob. He says he was just going to do regular P.I. stuff. She tells him that Sonny will use what information he gets to establish dominance. Curtis says it’s none of his business what his clients do with what he gives them. He can’t control it, but there are lines he won’t cross; he’ll establish boundaries with Sonny. Jordan says that his association with Sonny has already crossed her boundaries. She needs time to think about things. He says time-out seems to be what they do best.

Sam asks Sonny if his plan to leave the business is on hold. He says he’s always done what he can to protect his family, which includes her. She tells Sonny that she and Jason had a rule. He’d answer any question she asked, unless it made her an accessory. She says that their life together has been different since he came back.

Patient 6 undoes the restraints, and starts to get out of his chair, but hears someone coming in. It’s Ava, followed by Dr. Kline. He tells her that Dr. Baronski referred him to her. She says Valentin told her to see Dr. Baronski, but Dr. Kline says that he handles the most severe cases. When she asks how long it will take to get her face back, he says it’s a cumulative process; one step leads to the next. The nurse comes in, and Dr. Kline tells her to give Patient 6 the full dose. He tells Ava that they’re tranquilizers, and Patient 6 must be under sedation at all times. The nurse prepares the shot.

Kristina talks about Scout, but Parker is distracted. She says there’s a guy following them. Kristina explains that it’s a guy from her dad. Parker says they must really not want her around Kristina. Kristina tells her about Jason, saying that it’s been hard on the family. It sucks, but comes with the territory. Parker didn’t realize how quickly Kristina had to grow up, but knew she was more self-possessed than most of her students.

In the park, Curtis is flinging the bouquet around, and Valerie asks what the flowers did to him. instead of abusing helpless floral arrangements, maybe he’d like to talk. She tells him that maybe they’ll be cousins. She might have to adopt Stella; she’s a riot. Curtis tells her about having professional difficulties with Jordan, like they did.

Jordan tells TJ thanks for skating. He says he wasn’t going to let her use him as an avoidance excuse. She explains that Curtis wants to offer Sonny his services, and is probably working for him already. TJ says he’s a P.I., and it’s no secret that they negotiate grey areas. Jordan says that she believes in the law, not delving into the realm of ambiguity. Please. Lighten up.

Valentin tells Lulu that no one has the upper hand as far as parenting goes. The best thing for Charlotte is shared custody. They live in the same town, she has friends and family there, and a good life. He wants to keep it that way. He proposes alternating weeks. Charlotte returns, and asks about Bailey. Valentin suggests they get an update.

Lulu tells Dante that Valentin is always one step ahead of them. Dante says whatever she wants to do is fine with him. Bailey comes back out with her mother, and wants Valentin in on the discussion with the doctor.

Ava asks Dr. Kline why the need to control Patient 6? The doctor says he’s a danger, especially to others. He was subjected to severe trauma, and his mind broke. Any approach is an attack, and he fights back. They believe heavy sedation is kinder than 24/7 restraints. Ava asks if they can help him, and Dr. Kline asks why she cares. Patient 6 is given his shot.

Ave tells the doctor she needs a distraction. The first time she saw him, it was shocking, but it gave her something else to think about. She notices that the drug they gave Patient 6 is ketamine. She remarks that it’s used on horses. Dr. Kline says he’s eager to work with her; she could be his greatest success. He would hate for her to be sent away before they even get started. He suggests she find something else to do, and in the interest of her own recovery, leave Patient 6 alone. Unnoticed, Patient 6 moves his hand to his face.

Sam tells Sonny that she and Jason are more settled now. They used to be ride or die, but stopped living each day like it was their last, and started living like they could raise their kids and be happy together. Sonny says that kids do that to parents. She says she has a life she never imagined, and never wants to let it go. Sonny says he’s partly to blame, and wants to make it right. He thinks he knows where to start.

Dr. Brown goes over Bailey’s treatment, explaining that in her case, bracing is the best choice. She can have outpatient care. He talks about Shriners having the best cutting-edge treatment. They have the full spectrum in the same place just for kids. Obviously, this is the daily advertisement within the show for Shriners Hospitals, but it’s a good thing. Not like when they mention Aveeno fifty times during the Nurses’ Ball.

Curtis says look what happened last year, but Valerie doesn’t want to relive it. He tells her that Stella apologized. Valerie thinks she’s hilarious. She means well, and Valerie thinks he does too, and she doesn’t want him to make same mistake that he did with her. She wants him to be happy, and thinks he should ask himself if he’s willing to make the necessary sacrifices to make Jordan happy.

Jordan says that TJ lost his father, Shawn went to prison, and her bad choices crossed the line. He’s paid the price, and she doesn’t want that to happen anymore.

Parker tells Kristina that what they did back then was wrong. Kristina says that she’s no longer a confused co-ed. She’s out and proud, and has family and friends who are supportive, positive, and accepting. Parker is proud of her. She tells Kristina that things happen for a reason, and she’s grateful that Kristina came into her life. She says that Kristina is great at knowing what she wants, and going for it. Kristina kisses her.

TJ tells Jordan that he knows she has past guilt, but she shouldn’t be afraid to be happy. He tells her to stop trying to make up for what she put him through, and make up for it by being happy. She asks how he got so damn smart, and he tells her, books. He appreciates everything she’s done, every sacrifice she’s made, but he’s grown, even if he’s still a tax deduction. He doesn’t want her sacrificing her happiness again. No more punishing herself. The past is the past, and he came out okay. He has the best mom in the world, and he wishes she’d believe it

Curtis thanks Valerie. He hopes she finds love again, and gives her the flowers. His phone rings, and he says it’s the conflict of interest reaching out. Valerie leaves, and Curtis asks Sonny what’s up. Sonny has a job, but doesn’t want to talk about it over the phone. Curtis decides to pass. He knows what he said, but he has to stay above board and can’t get involved in a conflict. If it was just him, it would be different, but too many people that he cares about will be affected. Sonny says no hard feelings. He’s a great friend, but sometimes you have to do the right thing and protect the people you love.

Parker tells Kristina that they can’t do this; it’s still wildly inappropriate. Kristina thinks it’s the age difference, and reminds Parker that she just said how much she admires Kristina. Parker says that’s not the issue. She can’t lose her career over this.

Bailey’s mom thanks Valentin. Charlotte hugs him, saying that he made everything right for Bailey. She goes back with Bailey, and Lulu tells Valentin there’s no doubt Charlotte loves him. He says hopefully, she’ll take that into consideration. He’s offered shared custody, and would like to get on with life, and have Charlotte settled and secure. Doesn’t she want the same?

Patient 6 starts to get up, but fails. Ava is like, omg.

Curtis goes back to Jordan, and tells her that he spoke to Sonny and turned him down. He wants to help Jason, but he doesn’t want to lose her. She laughs, saying she was about to tell him that she acted a little harsh. He says he’ll call Sonny right now then, and make some money. She says they should at least talk, and find a solution that’s best for the both of them. He says no more fights as reasons to walk away? She suggests that they use them to start a conversation, not end one. She reminds him about telling her that he loved her, and that he wanted to know what she thought. He says he still does. She says that if she hadn’t walked out, she would have told him that she loves him too. Curtis is finally locked down.

Kristina doesn’t understand what a relationship with Parker would have to do with her career. She’s not in her class anymore. Parker says that Kristina is still a student at PCU, and she’s working on getting tenure. Maybe if it doesn’t work out, and she applies elsewhere, they can explore it, but now isn’t a good time. She says she’s sorry. The last thing she wanted to do was make Kristina want her.

Lulu tells Valentin that they both love Charlotte and want what’s best for her. She’ll have Diane send the paperwork to him. They’ll have alternate weeks. She wants him to understand that little girls grow up though, and he can’t keep Charlotte in the dark forever. One day she’ll see him for the man he really is.

Ava tells Patient 6 that the nurse gave him a whole vial of Special K. How is possible he’s moving? She tells him that his zombie act isn’t working. He’s trying to hide that the drugs aren’t affecting him, and if he’s so dangerous, maybe she should warn them. He looks her in the eye.

Sam tells Sonny that she doesn’t care. She’s not ready to let him go.

Ava tells Patient 6 that if she rats him out, she’ll only give herself away. Here’s the deal. If he gets out of the chair and starts rampaging around, don’t come after her. He owes her. She leaves, but when she opens the door, hears a cellphone ring nearby, so she slips back into the room. Dr. Kline answers the phone, and says that things have remained unchanged, and it appears there’s no more trouble. He appears to understand. The doctor listens listens, and says that he’s strong, but he’s not a superhero. They can’t give him more without killing him. As soon as the doctor is gone, Ava quietly slips into the hallway.

Patient 6 gets up.

Tomorrow, Franco says his imaginary friend is real, Michael has business to wrap up, and Carly knows about Josslyn meeting Oscar.

😵 👶 On Flipping Out, Jeff and company moved into the new house. Construction had been stalled, so there’s a lot of mess and unfinished areas. The truck was about to arrive, and Jeff pulled up to find a neighbor parked in front of his driveway gate, where he said she’s parked before. He told her that he’s moving in today and this is going to change as of now. She had the nerve to respond that it’s a public place. Well, that may be, but it’s against the law to block a driveway, and for good reason. I’m so on Jeff’s side, having dealt with this issue many times with people doing construction on neighboring houses. I don’t think there was one time a guy didn’t argue with me when I asked him to please move his truck. One even asked if I needed my driveway. Nah, it’s just there for show. Really? Jeff asked if this is how they’re starting the relationship, and said welcome to the neighborhood. During a talk on design, we found out that Jeff hates red. I can understand not liking it in large doses, but I love a red accent. He’s in a better place with Gage now, although baby Monroe is still wailing her head off at every opportunity. Gage explained that Jeff needs change, and that’s why he goes along with moving every year. Jeff’s therapist had him blue-sky, and told him that if you can see things in your mind’s eye, you can create them. Seeing a million dollars right now… Nope, didn’t work. Lea Black introduced Jeff to the “Queen of Versailles,” Jackie Siegel, who needs some work done on her palace. Next time, we take a look inside, where “the entryway is bigger than a lot of homes.”

🐄  🐓 Jax. What I can I say? I never liked him much, but I like him even less now. Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky is almost at an end, and he’s proven to be an even bigger idiot than ever before. I don’t mind stupid. Not everyone is born to be bright, but this guy is nasty. I don’t know if he’s getting tired of her or what, but he’s treating Brittany like sh*t. And on her home turf. He also says whatever he thinks will get him over. I don’t think he’s fooling her father any though. My father would have booted his ass back to LA by now. He had the nerve to mention that she’s gained weight. Her me-maw, or whatever she calls her grandmother, totally put Jax in his place, pointing out his own spare tire, but you just don’t do that. Even worse, was that he kept telling anyone who would listen that she’d lost “some of her spark.” Wtf does that mean? I understand that many in the Twitterverse believe this to be code for her weight gain – mind you, she’s not a whale by any stretch of the imagination – but that seemed like a separate issue. I think it’s code for, I’m tired of this relationship, since a relationship takes work.

For the life of me, I can’t understand why she’s still with him. I don’t get the vibe that it’s just to be on TV. Does she look at him like a fixer upper? She could still do better. I thought if I heard him say she lost her spark one more time, I was going to scream. He claimed that she didn’t seem happy. Other than her possibly being a little homesick, which is natural when you go home, nobody else knew wtf he was talking about. Brittany seemed like she was having a great time, until Jax started with this nonsense. And this was after he’d told her mother and grandma that he wanted to marry her. Why? Did he think that’s what they wanted to hear (another why), and then get scared that he’d have to follow through? He even showed them a picture of a ring that he claimed he wanted to get for her. He scored points with the family by matching the donations from an IVF fundraiser for Brittany’s sister and BIL. A lovely thing to do, providing he ponies up, but I’ll bet LVP will shame him into it if he falters. He managed to negate the points by consistently reminding Brittany that he pays for everything, saying that she would have nothing if it wasn’t for him. When I thought he couldn’t sink any lower, he started this crap in front of a couple of family members, and Brittany said he does this all the time.

He also made a jerk of himself when they ran into Brittany’s ex at a bar. Then I really wondered what she sees in Jax. This guy was smokin’ hot, Jax was not happy, and got extra drunk. The past has shown that Jax plus alcohol plus exes do not mix. He stopped short of starting a fight, either realizing that he’d probably be no match for this dude, or getting a glimmer of understanding that it’s not a good look on TV. I don’t know if he thinks these people are stupid, but they’re far from it. And they’ve been very gracious to him. What could have been a really fun trip, has turned into a nightmare for Brittany. Jax is more of a chore than shoveling horsesh*t.

ByeFeliciaSleepingBeauty

Trinket&amp;Felicia (5)

Felicia sez: What?

August 23, 2017 – Winston Takes the Stand, the NYC Reunion Continues, Raw Chicken & Jax

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Elizabeth says she missed being in the studio with Franco, and he says he missed being everywhere with her. He tells her she should paint again, and to consider his studio hers. She says for now she’ll live vicariously, and tells him there’s a reason he’s famous. He says not for the reason he’d like.

Ned sees Alexis at the MetroCourt. He was looking for her because he’s in the market for her legal services.

Julian’s trial starts again. The prosecutor – whose name I still can’t find out, so I’m continuing to call him Will Smith – has an addition to the witness list. Scotty says the prosecutor is playing games, and he’s had no prep time. Will says that he has a witness that can speak to Julian’s motives. Julian wonders who it’s going to be. It’s Winston! Scotty asks how bad it’s going to be.

Sam tells Carly that she shot Sonny. Carly says that the Garvenator bragged to her about it, and Sam says that’s not the whole story. Jason tries to get her to leave, but Sam says she’s not staying silent anymore, and Carly deserves to know what happened.

Elizabeth says that Franco is a powerful artist. He says the purpose of the paintings was for people to feel the darkness. He worries that his talent and the darkness were intrinsically connected, and he won’t be able to create anymore. She says he was literally in a different head space then, but he says he can’t blame everything on the tumor.

Ned tells Alexis that he wants to update his will, adding Olivia-Q and Leo. Alexis calls Leo his stepson, but he says that he hasn’t been able to adopt Leo yet.

Wow. Winston is the same actor, but looks younger; maybe because he lost weight. Scotty doesn’t understand how he can speak about anyone else’s motives. Will says he was there during many of their conversations, and his testimony is vital. The judge allows it. Will asks when he first met Olivia-J. Winston talks about her having him opening the store. All he knew was that she had unfinished business in Port Charles, and her brother was involved and willing to do whatever she needed.

Carly says Garvezilla told her that he killed Sonny. How could Sam have shot him? Sam says she collapsed afterward. She woke up in the hospital, and didn’t remember anything. Then she started to remember, and she’s sooo sorry. Carly grasps that it’s real, and Sonny confirms that it’s true. Sam says she didn’t know what was real or wasn’t anymore. Her hallucinations were like a walking nightmare, with Sonny telling her that he was going to take her family away. Sam tells Carly that it sounds crazy, but she was so scared and would have done anything. Carly realizes this is what Sam wanted to tell her at the hospital. Sam says it makes her nauseous to know how far it went. She bought a black-market gun, and staked out his house, following him to the site.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she loves their world. Franco says that he does too, and it scares him. He tells Elizabeth that she thrills and calms him at the same time, and he loves her. He says she’s probably the first sane woman he’s been with, and the first normal person to love him. He doesn’t deserve her. He loves the world they’ve created, but is terrified he’ll mess it up. Elizabeth tells him that he won’t, but he says she doesn’t know that. She says that everyone has darkness inside, but there’s also light. She understands the paintings have brought up bad memories, but there’s one in particular that she wants to know about. She pulls out the painting she’d been looking at. Two boys side-by-side, looking down a road.

Alexis tells Ned that she’s not representing him in a custody case. Ned says this must mean she thinks Julian might get off. He thought she’d have the best chance of getting Julian to agree to an adoption. She says that she wouldn’t go anywhere near it for a million different reasons. He asks her if one of those reasons is that she’s still hung up on Julian.

Winston says he ran the pawn shop and carried out Olivia-J’s orders. Will Smith asks if he was present at Olivia and Julian’s first meeting. When he says that he wasn’t, Will asks when was the first occasion they met? Winston says that Julian came by to lay out future plans and how best to achieve them. but he wasn’t privy to everything. He says they spoke in conspiratorial tones, and when Julian left, Olivia told him what he was to do. Scotty is like, he wasn’t present, what is up with this? Will reads off something about Alexis meeting with Julian when Winston was there, and Julian saying he was just a friend.

Jason says that Sam doesn’t have to do this. She says she does. She says that Sonny was amazing and sympathetic. He tried to talk her down, saying he’d never do anything to hurt her. Carly is like, of course he wouldn’t, and I wonder if she forgot Sam was sick. She answers my question by saying that she gets Sam was sick, but she’s trying to understand everything. Sam talks about Sonny walking toward her, and how he tried to take the gun, but it went off. Carly says it was an accident then, but Sam says she meant to shoot him and she did.

Will Smith asks Winston what he and Julian discussed. Winston says that Julian was pleased that Morgan was killed, and was looking forward to helping Olivia-J. Will asks what the plan was, but Winston didn’t know. He says Julian seemed to be a willing participant. No surprise Scotty objects, since it’s total conjecture, and it’s sustained. Winston says that Julian was concerned about legal ramifications, and wanted to help, but not get caught. They agreed to say he was coerced, but he was a willing accomplice.

Alexis tells Ned that she knows how she feels, but doesn’t know which feeling wins out. She asks what’s wrong with her. Ned says she’s beautiful, smart, and complicated, and way too good for Julian. She agrees, but loves him, and can’t let go. She wonders why she picks men who are bad for her, and dangerous. She says Ned is the only one who didn’t fit the mold, and she ran from him, but if she had it to do over, she’d do it differently. Ned tells her she wouldn’t, and she says he’s right. He says she knows the answer, and Alexis says they’re all like her father, and her father didn’t love her. Ned says maybe it’s time to break the pattern.

Elizabeth tells Franco that the painting stands out from the others. The energy is lighter, and hopeful. Ava texts Franco, and he says he gets to show his work at the gallery. He’ll be killing two birds with one stone; getting rid of the stuff, and making money. Elizabeth asks what he’s going to do with it, and he says that he wants to help her with the groceries, mortgage, and sexy stuff. She tells him that he makes everything sexy, and when he adds helping Kiki, she says it’s getting sexier by the minute. Franco wonders what if the art doesn’t sell, and Elizabeth says it will, especially the painting she likes. He tells her that one’s not for sale.

Sam tells Carly that a lot of it is a blur, but Sonny is clear. He put his hand on hers to stop her, and she deliberately pulled the trigger. Sonny says that it wasn’t her, and to stop apologizing. She says he did nothing to defend herself, but she had to finish it. Sonny didn’t fall into the hole; she kicked him in, and thought he was dead. She tells Sonny that she left him there to die, and is sooo sorry. He calls her over to him, and says it wasn’t her fault. She had an infection, and it wasn’t her. She has nothing to be sorry about. Carly looks pissed.

Winston says he was just there to facilitate things as the driver/delivery person. Will Smith asks if he was aware she was unstable, and alludes that Julian was. Scotty’s objection is sustained. Will asks if Winston was there around the time of the hospital bombing, and he says that Julian told Olivia to make it look like he’d been tied up, so he could deny accountability.

Scotty says this is the definition of hearsay, and there’s nothing to back it up. The judge tells Will to ask a question or excuse the witness. He asks Winston about Julian trying to kill Olivia, and asks why he would do anything for her if he wanted her dead. Will tells Winston to speculate, and Scotty is like, ha! Winston says Olivia told him that Julian felt guilty, and would do anything in his power to make it right.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he’s keeping that painting. She asks why it’s special, and talks about the counterpoint in the picture. Franco thinks her talking about art is hot. She asks if the mirror effect is significant. Franco explains that when he was little, he had an imaginary friend who lived in an imaginary world that mirrored his. He outgrew it, but missed his friend, so he did the painting with each of them in their respective opposite realities. He says it was the last nice thing painted; a manifestation of his childhood psychosis.

Sonny tells Sam to stop blaming herself for something she couldn’t control. She does the “what if” thing, and he asks if he or Morgan were responsible for things they did when they were sick. Sam says no, and Jason says to blame him. She was sick and not herself, and he did nothing. He should have realized it was serious and made her go to the doctor. Sonny says that he didn’t expect it, but Jason says he should have been paying attention. Sam says she was hiding, but doesn’t know why, because she trusts him most of all. She wonders why she didn’t she ask him for help.

Alexis tells Ned that Julian’s proclamation of love made her head spin. He means it, but the other side of him can’t help it; he was born into it. She knows she’s making excuses, and Ned thanks her for not making him say it. She says he’ll hurt her again, but when it’s happening to you, and you’re in love with them, and they’ve made you happier than you’ve ever been, the thought of saying that it can’t work out is impossible. She wants off the roller coaster. She wants it to end, and has to figure out how to make that happen. I dunno. Kill him?

Scotty asks why Winston’s visit upset Julian. When Winston says that he can’t speak for Julian’s state of mind, Scotty wonders why, since he’s speaking for everyone else’s. Will Smith objects, saying it’s hearsay, but Winston says maybe Julian wasn’t feeling well. Scotty asks if Olivia wouldn’t have known that, since Winston was following him and she was bugging his phone. Winston says she didn’t tell him everything, and Scotty says that he wasn’t always in the loop then.

Scotty asks Winston how jail is, and suggests that he might get better accommodations for his testimony. He asks if Winston is trying to save hide, but Winston pretends to be noble, saying that he wanted to make things right for everyone who suffered at Olivia and Julian’s hands. Julian jumps up and yells liar! and it gets loud in the courtroom.

Elizabeth says that to escape the loneliness, Franco made someone up who would understand him. He tells her that she’s special, and she says that she feels the same way about him. He doesn’t want to lose her, and she says, then don’t.

Sonny tells Sam that losing your mind is terrifying. Telling someone makes it real, so you make them your enemy. He talks about how he would cover until the dam broke, and he couldn’t take anymore. He tells her that she’s not like him; it was something temporary. Sam worries that it unleashed something in her. Sonny asks if she feels the same way now, and she says no. Jason tells her to trust herself. Sonny says it’s over, but Carly says not as long as the police are investigating.

Elizabeth asks Franco if there’s something he’s not telling her about the painting. At first he says no, but then says that maybe about the subject matter. When he imagined the friend, he imagined him being helpful. Like when Franco couldn’t tie his shoes, the friend learned and helped him. He has a real memory of being on merry go round, and not knowing how to get off, but his friend jumped off first, and he followed. He wants the picture as a reminder, but tells Elizabeth not to worry; he doesn’t have an imaginary friend now. She says that it makes total sense, and now that she understands, she loves it even more – and loves him. They kiss.

Alexis wonders if there’s a support group for her problem. Ned thinks there is, but she says AA is all she can handle. Ned offers to be sounding board. Alexis says that she wants to like someone sane, safe and gentle, but can’t get out of her own way. Ned says, so far, but she’s fiercely intelligent, and if anyone can break the cycle, it’s her.

The courtroom is out of control. The judge tells Scotty to calm his client down, or there’s going to be some contempt handed out. Julian threatens Winston, and the prosecution rests.

Carly asks Sonny if he knew all along, and he tells her he did. Jason admits to covering for them, and says that he and Sonny decided to protect her. Carly gets it that Sam is sick, and that the last thing she needed was being hounded by the police. What she doesn’t get, is why they didn’t tell her. Sonny says the situation was volatile. Carly tells him everything always is, and after twenty years, how can he keep something like that from her?

Tomorrow, Lucy asks Finn about the house, Julian wants to take the stand, and Carly asks Sonny when trusting each other changed.

The Real Housewives of New York City – Reunion Part Two

Andy asks how LuAnn feels about Tom seeing Missy. She insists he sees her at parties because Ramona brings her, but Ramona says that’s not true. LuAnn reminds us that Ramona’s husband was in a full-blown affair, and Bethenny says it’s not the bar by which they should set their relationships. Andy asks LuAnn why they’re together, and LuAnn makes noises about how they live. Bethenny says you can make a lifestyle out of a life, but not a life out of a lifestyle. LuAnn says she loves being married, and blah-blah-blah, the same stuff we’ve heard a million times. She talks about her penthouse, and Bethenny says that’s pretentious AF, since it’s really just a one-bedroom on the top floor. Andy remarks on how happy everyone is. Really, Andy?

It’s Tinsley’s turn in the hot seat. We flash back to her arrival at Sonja’s, and her explanation of the arrest. (Tinsley Mortimer, google it.) There’s a clip of Carole reading to her from Page Six about her comeback. And more clips about her relationship. The montage ends with her meeting Scott, and Carole saying she sees a pink dress in her future. A viewer asks why she still has the same look, neighborhood, and activities, and she says she didn’t want to reinvent herself, but get her life back and be herself again. Carole talks about how funny and genuine she is, and says although they’re polar opposites, they connected. Tinsley is still at the hotel, and talks about how cool her room is. Bethenny asks if she and Scott are moving in together, and she says in the fall. She thinks he’s “the one.” Good for her. He seems like a nice guy, and more geared to her than someone named Topper. Andy asks if she’s in a better place now. Again, really, Andy? Tinsley tells them about how she kept going back to her abusive relationship. Dorinda asks why she didn’t ask her mother for help, and she says she hid a lot of things. There was also a lot of drinking going on, and she carried it into the season as a crutch.

A viewer asks if she uses humor to make light of her drinking, and if she has a problem. Tinsley’s non-drinking problem is discussed. Andy asks if she was drinking first thing in the morning in Mexico, which isn’t really a fair question, since that was a vacation that revolved around liquor. LuAnn says that Tinsley can out drink her (holy!), and Tinsley says she’s amazed at how she can put it away. Bethenny says it’s doubtful she’d be in a six-month relationship with Scott if there was a problem, and I agree. I think this one just likes to party. And why not?

Carole is next. We flash back to Carole being positive that Hillary would win the election, and how very informed on politics she is. Obviously not informed enough to make a correct prediction. We see her insulting Ramona, and her emotions taking a nosedive on election night, and there’s a clip from the Women’s March. We move on to her shacking up with Adam, and how that goes downhill pretty quickly, and he moves back out. Andy asks what’s going on with them now. Carole says he was in-between apartments when he lived with her, but they’ve decided to take a break and give each other some space. She likes feeling free. She’s not seeing other people; she’s focusing on the me-centric parts of her life. Andy asks how she’d feel if Adam was seeing other people, and it doesn’t seem like she cares a whole lot.

Andy asks Bethenny if the election was the most irritated she’s been at Carol, but she says no. Bethenny thinks we need dialogue, not badgering. Carole talks about how no one appreciated her election expertise, and Ramona says she felt like she couldn’t even talk to her. Andy asks who knows either candidate and who voted for who. Ramona says she met them both, but pleads the fifth about voting. Dorinda brings up the picture that Sonja has of her and Donald, and Sonja says she used to consult with him about hotels. Dorinda says Hillary has been to her home. Luann knows no one. Bethenny told Bill Clinton that he had spinach in his teeth at Barney’s. She also told a funny story about doing the walk of shame literally into Donald, who recognized her and decided to introduce her to whoever he was with. She said she probably still reeked of the night before’s liquor. Yep. That’s always when things like that happen. She says she didn’t like the election whatsoever or her choices, and I’m with her. Tinsley is good friends with Ivanka, but claimed that she wasn’t in the state where she was registered, and couldn’t vote. Okay. It sounded like she didn’t really care, saying it wasn’t her thing, almost giving Carole apoplexy. I hate that. Yes, it’s your right to vote, but then shouldn’t it also be your right not to vote? Just sayin’.  Oddly enough, this political discussion is one of the few times no one argued.

Sonja juggling Frenchie and Rocco is brought to the table, and we flash back to both of them. I love Sonja saying that she’s between a Rocco and a hard place, and we see how Frenchie moved in. Andy asks what the status is. She’d originally thought of Frenchie for Tinsley, but he had eyes for her, and they’re still seeing each other. Carole heard he was “cast” as Sonja’s boyfriend. Sonja is like, what? and says he was staying with her all the time anyway, so she suggested he live with her when he’s not in France. She likes getting it. Thanks for the visual. She says they went to Paris when they finished filming, and she met his parents. Dorinda thinks it’s a mistake to have someone move in so quickly. Andy asks how Rocco feels, and Dorinda says they’re good friends. Why is she suddenly answering for Sonja? Bethenny thinks it’s genius, and Sonja says the long game wins. She wants someone who’s really there for her, and says Rocco is a good person. She’s not giving him up, and they’ll see. She thinks Frenchie might eventually want children even though he says he’d give it up to marry her. She wants someone to grow old with, and thinks someone like Rocco would fulfill that need. Bethenny thinks she should give him the old bang down one-two and check it out, since Sonja has never slept with him.

Bethenny’s divorce is the next topic. We flash back to suckerfish Jason Hoppy making her life a living hell, even after the divorce was finalized. What a creep that guy is. Andy asks what’s the latest on her love life, and Bethenny says she’s with Dennis. She says things needed to be dealt with, and she’s in a better place to make a sane decision. She says she has a difficult time letting people get close, but she had ended the relationship due to the circumstances of their divorces. She says she’s freer and happier now, and Dennis has dealt with his own issues. A viewer says she should consider I gotta go as her next tagline, and we flash back to her jetting early from events. She says she mostly removed herself from arguments, and if she doesn’t like how someone is speaking to her, she’s gotta go. Andy brings up suckerfish Jason’s latest stalking charges, and Ramona reminds Bethenny about how she’ll never be rid of this slimebucket because they have a child together. Bethenny flat-out doesn’t want to discuss it with her. She says it’s been a negative, inexplicable situation that’s hopefully getting better now. Andy milks the topic some more, and Bethenny says it cost her $3 million in legal fees. He asks about Brynn, and Bethenny says she doesn’t understand at her age. She’s isolated in her life and happy. Carole adds that Bethenny has never said anything negative about Jason to her daughter, unlike the crap Jason has pulled on her. Bethenny says by the time Brynn is old enough to be aware, a new story will have eclipsed hers. She doubts she’ll be relevant by the time Brynn is googling things. Carole says by then she’ll have a sense of the dynamic. Bethenny says life isn’t fairytales and rainbows.

Andy brings up Bethenny talking to her mother for the first time in years, and if she’s had contact. Bethenny says that her mother talking to the press was the problem in the first place, and when she was getting ready to visit Florida, her mother told a magazine negative things. Andy wonders if stress affects how Bethenny interacts with others, because he’s the king of idiotic queries. Bethenny says they can’t imagine the torment this has been, and if she lets it out, she’ll break down. Ramona talks about Mario trying to force his way into her life when they’d started filming after the divorce, and how awful it was. Carole says she saw how Jason interfered with Bethenny’s relationships, and Bethenny didn’t even realize how the emotions wreaked havoc in her life. Bethenny says it’s impossible to explain and it’s torture. She starts to cry, and Andy asks if the ladies knew what was going on. LuAnn says only from the papers. Carole says he’s obsessed with her, and LuAnn wonders where his anger is coming from. My guess is from that sleazebag suckerfish losing his meal ticket and not being able to face reality. Andy asks if LuAnn understands Bethenny’s breakdown in the Berkshires now, but LuAnn says she understood it then. Andy asks if there’s a resolution, and Bethenny says any resolution is court mandated. She has faith that somehow, she’ll have a normal, free life, but it won’t happen unless there’s zero contact. Ramona talks about how important it is to teach their daughters independence, and it’s the first rational thing that’s come out of her mouth in maybe ever. Dorinda says you need to have options, and you can’t afford to lose them financially or emotionally. Bethenny says it’s important not to have a man be your identity. Andy asks when Bethenny is at her happiest, and she says being with her daughter and doing simple things. She thanks everyone for being respectful, and says that was fun.

Next time, the reunion concludes, Ramona is front and center, and Tinsley argues with Sonja.

🍄 I missed the first hour of the two-hour MasterChef, but caught the second half. There was a chicken and potato challenge with teams of two – there are ten cooks remaining. Dino and Jeff knocked it out of the park, and I thought Christina was going to leap across the stage and grab the chicken out of Aaron’s hand. Caitlin and Adam tried some kind of Japanese fusion thing without tasting all of the elements together, and it was a bust. Gordon said they had brilliant moments, but this wasn’t one of them, and most of his critique was bleeped out. Eboni and Cate were the winners and their recipe will be in Family Circle magazine. Cool! Yachecia escaped a third pressure test, and Adam and Caitlin ended up on the chipping block after Gordon played with them, at first acting like they were safe. It was mean, but I laughed. They had to replicate Gordon’s signature chicken dish, Chicken Supreme. Adam’s chicken was raw. The cardinal sin of cooking. Gordon rubbed it in by saying it’s the best dish he’s cooked in the competition – other than the chicken being raw. You’ll never have to worry about raw chicken with me, since I cook the crap out of it.  Adam cried, Caitlin cried, the balcony cried. Christina tried to make him feel better by talking to him about the rest of the dish, and how fabulous it was, acting like Gordon didn’t just go, oh dear, a million times. I’m no expert, but even I knew what a grievous error this was. Although there was a group of girls in my Home Ec class who failed to get Jell-O to set overnight, which might top that. Gordon said the big loser knew who they were, and Adam took his apron off. For a moment, he hesitated, and I thought we might all have to stay in for recess. Next time, there’s a tag team challenge, and everyone, including the judges, looks like they have a headache.

🐓 I checked out Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky. The look on LVP’s face when Jax told her that he’s working on the farm made it worth watching, but not much else. She suggested he was good at stirring the sh*t, but didn’t know about him shoveling it. It was okay. Since this is just a filler until the next season of Vanderpump Rules, I didn’t take it too seriously. I was a little disturbed that Jax told Brittany’s mother and grandmother that he was going to marry her, after he sought out contraband liquid courage to do it. They seemed thrilled, although I’m not sure why, but what bothered me was my immediate reaction that this might be Jax’s way of trying to stay relevant within the Bravo franchise. Could a wedding spin-off be far behind? Bleh.

💃 Odd Mom Out continues to be entertaining. And you don’t have to be a mom, or the odd one out, to enjoy it. Like Seinfeld, if you’re a New Yorker, the jokes are funnier, but you don’t have to be one to laugh.

Kentucky

 

July 31, 2017 – Finn Says Yes, Lee Has a Half-Birthday & Jax on the Farm

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jason talks to himself in Sam’s hospital room about more tests. He’s hoping they make progress this time and he can take her home. He can’t help but think about how empty the house is without her, and what if he’s married to a memory? He tells himself that’s not going to happen.

Griff doesn’t like that Sam is in a coma, but thanks Finn for the diagnosis. He tells Finn he should take a break. Finn asks if Griff thanks Sam is going to wake up. He doesn’t know, but the longer it continues, the greater the odds of her not waking at all.

Hayden talks to Lucy on the phone. She’s visiting the new house to get a feel for it at night. After she hangs up, she says this is going to be their home. She never liked playing house as a girl, but so wants to do it now.

Jared Meets Obrecht in her car. He says he’s given it a lot of thought. Rachel/Hayden has already cost him years in prison, and as tempted as he is, he’s leaving her and his past behind for good. Obrecht anticipated his reluctance. She gives him information on Hayden’s new, wonderful life that she created while he was doing time. He decides to take a look.

Nina sees Nathan at the station. She’s there to collect her bail money. Nathan asks if she’s mad at him, and she says not mad, just disappointed. She never thought he’d give up on her. He says if he implied that, he’s sorry; he just doesn’t want her to get hurt again. She asks where she can get her paperwork for the bail money return, since Valentin is innocent. Valentin walks in, and Nina says this is the last place she thought she’d see him. He wants to know if they found the kidnapper, or is he still a person of interest?

Garvey on a gurney is wheeled into the hospital. Carly is all over him like a cheap suit, and tries to shake him down about where Sonny is.

Still cooling his heels in the cask room. He says he’s not ready, and he wants to live.

Dante asks if the Garvman knows where Sonny is, and what did he do to him? One of the doctors says they have to get him to the OR, and Dante tells them to keep him alive. Elizabeth says the only thing she can remember about the car is that it was dirty. Is it mine?  Dante sends an officer to check the car out. He thanks Elizabeth, who thanks Carly for coming along when she did. Carly tells Dante that Garvey claimed he killed Sonny, but says no way he got the drop on Sonny. She wonders how their paths could have crossed.

Jason wants to know what Griff and Finn are talking about, and Griff says he was just telling Finn to take a break. Finn explains that speculation is what they do. Hayden texts Finn, and Griff tells him to go. Jason asks why he wasn’t told about Sam maybe not waking up forever.

Obrecht tells Jared that while he was languishing in prison, Rachel/Hayden was busy reinventing herself. Her father stole billions in a Ponzi scheme, and she remained blameless. Now she’s CFO of GH. Now she and Finn, who torpedoed her career, just bought a big, beautiful house. She says Finn has no respect for convention or rules. He took the happily ever after that should have been Jared’s.

Valentin thanks Nina. Nathan tells him that he’s worse than people say he is. Valentin says it’s a witch hunt, and Spencer redacted what he’d said. They’ll call him a person of interest, rather than focusing on the real kidnapper.

Carly tells Dante what happened in the parking garage, and that when Garvo let his guard down, she jumped him. Dante says could have had a gun, but she figures he would have shown it. Well, yeah, he would have been holding it to Elizabeth’s head. An officer comes back with the information that they’re running the license plate. He hands Dante something of Spencer’s they found in the car. Dante wonders if maybe Garvey was stalking Sonny, and took Spencer for bait. Carly says what better way to set a trap than to take Sonny’s nephew hostage?

Obrecht tells Jared that’s just the overview; there’s more where that came from. Jared says that he’s cutting his losses, and suggests that she do the same. He tells her auf wiedersehen, and she says he’s a coward. No wonder Hayden left him holding the bag. She’s not walking away; not now, not ever.

Finn shows up at the new house, and Hayden is lying on the floor. He thinks something is wrong, but she’s imagining a skylight. He’s sorry he overreacted, but realized how fragile life is today. He tells her about Sam lapsing into a coma. Hayden asks if it will be okay, and he hopes so. He saw the fear in Jason’s eyes, and could relate to how he could lose everything with no warning. Hayden says their life is just beginning.

Jason asks Griff to be straight with him. Griff says he’s not speculating, or telling him something not confirmed. Jason says that Sam might look fragile, but she’s strong and a fighter, and will do anything for those she loves. He needs Griff to help and believe in her, and asks if Griff can help his wife. Griff says he’ll fight for her. They need to get her conscious, because there’s more likelihood of complications when she’s in a coma. He needs Jason to hold it together. He tells Jason to eat, rest, and hug his kids, but Jason says he’s not leaving until Sam wakes up.

Valentin says he’s going to sue for false arrest, obstruction of justice, and something else I wasn’t fast enough to type, and it flew out of my head. Nathan hopes that Spencer takes Valentin for everything he’s worth. He says it can’t be much, since Nina bailed him out. I guess he doesn’t know that Nina did it to show solidarity, and Valentin’s lawyers were in the process of wiring the money. Nina is like, oh yeah, I came to get my money back. Dante calls Nathan and says they know who abducted Spencer. Valentin says now Nathan has to admit it wasn’t him.

Carly asks Dante what if the Garvster is telling the truth? They have to find Sonny now. Dante says what about checking the GPS on his car or phone, but Carly says that Sonny made sure he was untraceable.

Sonny fingers the cross on his necklace, and starts to give his confession.

Hayden messes with design software on her laptop. She talks about what they can do with the tennis court. Finn asks what she doesn’t like about tennis courts, and she tells him that she doesn’t like what they represent. He wonders what she means, and she says when she was married, they had a house with a court. Her husband was a great player, and would invite investors over, letting them win. It reminds her of a time in her life, and the sad person she was. Finn says he hates tennis. They can turn it into natural habitat for Roxie and her friends. A giant terrarium. I like it. Hayden starts crying, and says hormones are killing her. She tells him that she was talking to Curtis, and he wanted to know if they were going to talk about marriage, or did they even want to get married?

Nina says tells Nathan that he owes Valentin an apology; he was arrested without any evidence. Valentin wants a public apology. It tarnished his character when he’s involved in both a lawsuit and a custody battle. He tells Nina that at least she knows her faith in him wasn’t misplaced. Nathan has a few details he wants to discuss with Valentin, and tells him that if he keeps trying to worm his way back into Nina’s life, he’ll regret it.

Sonny says he has many sins to confess. Pride caused him not to walk away from his old life, now he’s buried in it. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with Sam, but asks God to help her – and him. For so long, he wasn’t afraid to die, but he is now. He doesn’t want to leave his kids and Carly, and not be able to see their lives and futures.

Dante tells Carly to go home. She insists she has to get the Garvmeister to talk, but Dante says that’s his job; there’s nothing for her to do. Dante leaves, and Carly sees Jason. They hug.

Hayden tells Finn that she’s survived her past, and doesn’t want to repeat her mistakes. Marriage is the ultimate test, and she failed twice. She wants to build a life for their child, and she’ll try her best. She tells Finn that she loves him, and he kisses her. She asks if that’s a yes.

Nina orders a martini at the bar, and Obrecht says to put it on her tab. Nina says she should be buying, since she turned down Obrecht’s proposal. Obrecht tells her that you win some, you lose some. She wasted too much time with the ingrates at GH. She tells Nina that sometimes you have to do what’s best for you, even if it means that it’s not best for everyone else. Nina says to tell that to Nathan. Obrecht says he’s too nice for his own good, and Nina says thanks, and jets before she even gets her drink.

Valentin tells Nathan that Nina’s mistakes are hers to make. Nathan tells him to stay away from Nina, but Valentin says they both live in Port Charles, so that’s not practical; they’re part of the same community. He says if he’s lucky enough to get her back, he’ll spend the rest of his life making her happy.

Griff asks Elizabeth if she’s okay, and why she’s still at the hospital after taking down a thug. She says that was Carly. She asks Griff not to laugh, but it felt like a Guardian Angel was looking out for her. Griff says he’s the last person who would laugh at that.

Jason is sorry he couldn’t do more for Sonny. Carly says that he had his hands full. She knows Sonny is alive, like she knows that Sam will pull through this. Jason says that it wasn’t that long ago when he was there, hoping the same thing. He wonders how many prayers God will answer. Carly says that He answers them forever, at least she hopes so. Jason hopes so too.

Finn says he didn’t think Hayden wanted to get married. He agrees that the bar was set high for him, which is why he thought he’d never fall in love again, but that before he met her. She saved him. Hayden says he saved her, and his cure will save more people. Finn says he’s done everything for her, so yes, and not just because of the baby. They kiss some more

Nina calls to Valentin in the garage. She apologizes for Nathan. She says that since there’s no Maxie to protect, he’s overcompensating, but his intentions are good. Valentin admires anyone wanting to fight for Nina. He shares that desire, even though she’s capable of fighting for herself. She’s glad to have someone that has her back, and Valentin says she’s had his. She says he’s not indebted to her anymore, but he says always will be. She kisses him.

Sonny says the Our Father. He closes his eyes.

Griff looks at the test results. He takes Jason aside to talk. Elizabeth tells Carly that the Big Garvhuna is out of surgery, and what room he’s in. She says she should inform Dante, but that might take a while. Carly gets the message, and heads to Garvey’s room. You’d think Dante would have had someone there already.

Finn asks if Hayden wants a celebration, and suggests getting take-out from The Floating Rib. They can have their first dinner in the house. It’s fine with Hayden, as long as there are pickles. He says if he gets a call from the hospital, he’ll bring back the food first. She has to get used to being a doctor’s wife. When he’s gone, she opens her laptop. She hears the door, and thinks Finn forgot something, but it’s Jared, who must have passed Finn on his way in.

Nina and Valentin make out a little. He says that she has no idea how much he’s wanted to kiss her. He asks her to come back and be a family. She says no, and backs away. He tells her goodnight.

Jason calls the Quartermaine’s to talk to Danny, saying that mommy sleeping, but the doctors are taking care of her; she’s going to be fine. He knows, because she loves him and all of them, and blah-blah-blah dad stuff. After he hangs up, he tells himself that she’s going to be fine.

Carly goes to Garvs’s room. This should be good. He opens his eyes, and she says, good, he’s awake. She tells him that she spent time in nursing school, and knows her way around. She knows the morphine drip is a gift for those in pain. She hopes he’s not in too much pain, but that’s up to him – where’s her husband?

A light shines on Sonny. He sees someone, and says, it’s you. I’m assuming he sees Morgan, but they’ve fooled me before. Not often, but they have.

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Finn that happiness won’t protect him from a relapse, Josslyn asks where her mother is, and Hayden says she’s done with Jared, but he says no.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Shannon visits Tamra. She asks for water, probably so Tamra won’t smack her. Tamra recommends some kind of natural mood lifter. Geez, can she spare the water? There’s like a whole inch in the glass. Tamra talks about seeing Kelly walk into the restaurant, and insists she was wasted. Well, probably. She was on the boat with her friends all day.

Kelly is steaming some clothing, noting that it looks easier when they do it in the store. She tells Michael about the evening at The Not-So-Quiet Woman. We flash back to all the times that Kelly has been kicked out of various places and parties, as well as Shannon’s plate throwing skills. Michael thinks it will be difficult to get past. In her interview, Kelly says that Shannon doesn’t own up to where she’s responsible. Truth! Michael says somewhere in there is a fun-loving person, since they’ve had laughs. Kelly believes they could be friends, but for whatever reason, she thinks Tamra is interfering. Michael says they have a new puppet master. Kelly thinks that Shannon has Stockholm Syndrome with Tamra. This is like the Munchhausen of the new OC season.

Tamra tells Shannon how everybody was looking at them. Shannon says Lydia just wanted to get out of there. Can you blame her?

Lydia’s mother is having a party for grandson Stirling’s birthday. Everything is set up like it’s a movie premiere. Lydia explains how her parents are total opposites, but it works. She tells Judy she doesn’t think Vicki is going to bring Briana, but Judy doesn’t care. She says it’s five years ago. It might be, but we can still flash back to the infamous Judy-putting-her-feet-on-the-couch incident. Lydia tells her about making up with Shannon, but she thinks it’s Vicki and Kelly vs Tamra and Shannon. She doesn’t want any plate throwing at the party, and Judy thinks fairy dust might be in order. Isn’t it always?

It’s really a cool set-up, with a red carpet and everything. A magician usher does some tricks, but hears crickets from the kids. Lydia tells Kelly she’s confused about what happened at the restaurant. She says after seeing Shannon’s reaction to Kelly, she doesn’t think it will ever be fine between them. Peggy arrives, and doesn’t want to get in the middle of it. Vicki says Peggy’s ring is the size of her house, which is more than a slight exaggeration, although it is sizable. Lydia introduces their MC, Micky, who is also the usher. All the kids are brought in for the movie premiere, while the adults eat and drink. We see Judy’s collection of crowns. That she cooks in. She gives the ladies vials of fairy dust. She dusts Lydia, who isn’t thrilled when some gets on her sweater. Peggy says it’s hard to clean off, and I’m with her on that, having done crafts with kids. Glitter and Play-Doh are my enemies.

The cake is brought out. Vicki tells Peggy that she has to teach her to be tough, since some of the girls can be hard and turn on you. Peggy tells Vicki about her double-mastectomy, and how she’ll be going through reconstructive surgery. Vicki tells her to call if she needs anything like help with the kids. In her interview, she feels that health issues should be kept private after the whole Brooks thing, but she’s not requiring any documentation.

Vicki picks Kelly up. She’s getting tightened inside and out. She’s hoping it makes everything better for everybody. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ In her interview, Vicki says she’s always there for her friends, but she doesn’t want to know. She says next time, they’re just going to lunch. How can I put this? They put in a laser that looks like… never mind. Kelly says she’s taking one for the team. It’s a fairly quick procedure, thank God.

Shannon is teaching Sophie to drive. Beforehand, she tells Sophie that her goal is for her daughter to be a safe driver, so don’t argue with anything. Sophie still thinks it will be easier than her father teaching her. Shannon says she’s going to be calm, and it’s going to be a nice, peaceful ride. It starts off that way, until Shannon tells Sophie that she keeps going into the crosswalks. Then tells her to slow own. Sophie says that Shannon is freaking her out. Someone blows a horn, scaring Shannon, and Sophie claims the car wasn’t even in her lane. Shannon keeps giving instructions, and tells the next car over that Sophie is a permit driver. Which Sophie really appreciates.

Tamra’s son Ryan is at her place. She has to give a speech, and isn’t looking forward to it. She got involved in a documentary called Erasing Family, and they asked her to speak at one of their events. She’s texting Simon, who she has a better relationship with now. Ryan says he was talking to Sydney and told her that she was missing everything, and should come around more. Tamra ran into her at Ryan’s house, and says it was awkward, but they hugged for the first time in years. She feels like she doesn’t even know her own daughter, and says it’s the first step to their future. She asks about Sarah, and says all the fighting doesn’t need to happen. Ryan says he knows, but can relate to Simon. We flash back to how Simon tried to get Ryan to be more responsible when he was young. Ryan says that Simon is an a-hole, but thanks him. Tamra thought he hated Simon, but Simon was hard on him because he wanted him to do well. In her interview, Tamra says Ryan gets it now. Tamra tells him not to go through what she did the last few years, and he tells her that his biggest fear is leaving because of the fighting, and not knowing who might step in. Tamra feels guilty, and says she’s here for him. He says his problems are his.

Meghan is pleased with dropping another pants size. She’s waiting for Kelly. She has a new nanny named Bridget, whom she hired without knowing her qualifications. That seems pretty odd for a new mom, but okay. She says her relationship with Kelly has drifted. In her interview, she tells us that she asked Kelly if she was seeing someone, and she didn’t like the question. In her interview, Kelly says she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and if she did, she would say so. Meghan doesn’t care, but Kelly retaliated by sending a text saying Jimmy was having an affair. Meghan says even though she knew it wasn’t true, no one should send a text like that to a woman who is seven months pregnant. So she cut Kelly out for a few months and let her back in because it’s easier not to fight with her. Kelly brings a cute outfit for Aspen, and tells Meghan about the fight with Shannon, including Kelly’s “keep eating” comment. In her interview, Meghan says the way Kelly goes after people isn’t normal, and it’s like a toddler having a tantrum. Bridget presents Meghan with the baby, who is wailing her head off.

Diko is putting wheels on Vicki’s car. She’s overwhelmed with all the cars in his garage. He says that he has ten more in another building because they didn’t fit. Vicki has a hard time with new people, and we flash back to her clashing with most of the ones who have joined the show since the beginning. She thinks there’s promise for a great friendship with Peggy though. Diko says Peggy was touched by whatever Vicki said at the birthday party. In her interview, Peggy says that she likes Vicki because she’s protective, and Peggy knows she means it when she says she’d drop everything to help. Peggy starts to talk about her mother, but chokes up, and doesn’t want to go there. She says it’s hard to look in the mirror, because she looks like her. Vicki says her mother was so young. Peggy’s father has also passed, and it came at the same time she was diagnosed. Vicki tells her about her own mother, and we flash back to when she found out her mother had died. That was one of the saddest things ever, and a truly real moment.

Tamra’s dad, Frank, comes over for the Erasing Family event. They haven’t had the best relationship – he left her mom for her best friend. Eww, that’s messy. She says she took her mom’s side in the divorce, and shunned her father, and thinks Sydney is doing the same to her. Well, karma and all that. Her brother also shows, but her mom got called into work. She’s annoyed that her mother didn’t make the effort. She wonders if it’s too painful, but says her mother never talks about anything. They head out.

Tamra schmoozes with the guests. She tells us that there are 22 million people alienated from their kids. She talks to someone about her dad having been her hero, and how she ostracized him, but he’s here tonight, and drove ten hours to get there. In her interview, she says that it hurts her feelings that her mom didn’t think it was important enough to show up. Tamra is introduced. She asks her dad, brother, and son to come up – three generations of alienated people. She says that it hurts every day, and she gets through it by helping others. She starts to cry as she speaks about silent pain. She thinks her daughter will be back one day, as well as the others. She tells them to love their children more than they hate the other parent. In her interview, she says that she hopes Ryan and Sarah think twice and work harder at making things work. Eddie tells her she did great. He says to let her daughter come back, and not force the issue. Leave it to God.

Next time, a trip to Hawaii, Lydia talks to Doug about downtime, Kelly wants her mother to do something for her soul, and Peggy tells Meghan to shut up.

🐮 On Sweet Home Oklahoma, the girls threw a 40.5 birthday party for Lee, whose birthday is in December, when it’s hard to compete with Jesus’s birthday. A 70s costume roller rink party was decided on, and Pumps wanted pictures of everyone in their costumes first, to make sure she wouldn’t be the only one in costume, like on Tubby’s birthday. Lee insisted no strippers, and Jennifer agreed the only thing they’re good for is humiliating the person being danced upon. Pumps was proud of her rented costume, not wanting anyone to see it beforehand, and then found out she had the wrong decade, thinking it was an 80s party. They grilled their Uber driver, because they enjoy interrogating millennials, and he was an incredibly good sport – and very hot. Lee skated like a pro, but I’m more like Pumps, who needed a child’s walker. Or roller, as it were. A SWAT team guy came in, and yep, he was a stripper. After Lee was subjected to a lap dance, she made Pumps go next, since it was her half birthday. Jennifer also helped Pumps look for a new house. Next time, Pumps gets her new house. I can’t say it enough how much I love this show. While I totally enjoy a good Wife fight, this reality doesn’t make you feel like you might need a shower afterward. Without being saccharine, it leaves you feeling good. These people are real friends, who are intrinsically funny, much like the ones on my dearly departed The People’s Couch. I literally lol several times per show, and it’s broken my heart a little too. There is real love between everyone, and they’re funny without being mean. We could all use a little more of that.

💪 Tonight’s best Sweet Home quote: I’m always nice, bitch. – Pumps

🐓 Starting Wednesday, August 23, at 9 pm, Bravo is bringing forth Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky. It looks like it might be amusing in a Simple Life way – i.e. Jax contending with life on the farm – but if LVP isn’t on it, I’m not sure if it’s worth the TV time.

MondayKitty

June 21, 2017 – a Bump in the Puerto Rican Night, Ramona in a Ponytail, Chef Battles & Rearview Mirrors

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Laura, Doc, and Spencer go to Kelly’s. Spencer says it’s kind of Doc to accommodate him, but he still wants what he had at Windemere. He thinks Charlotte should be embarrassed to call Valentin her father.

Lulu and Charlotte bring Dante’s phone to the station. Charlotte says it looks like the same place where Valentin made the video. Lulu says it is, and Charlotte wonders why, since he’s not a policeman.

Quinn tells Nathan and Amy that pictures are the best sales tool they have. She says traffic on the website spiked as soon as his picture went up. They want to approach the book the same way.  His eyes command attention, and attention turns to sales. Nathan says they can’t use his picture.

Jason leaves another message for Sonny, but gets cut off. My mistake, it’s not Kirby; it’s Garvey who’s after Sonny. I can’t help it if he’s one of those interchangeable characters who looks like a Kirby.

Carly and Sonny get caught in the rain. She wants to put something dry on, but he tells her she looks great as is.

Quinn says a new author like Nathan is in no position to make demands. Amy says he doesn’t think of himself as an author, just a typical guy giving advice. People feel more comfortable approaching him from behind a keyboard. Quinn says his face is the book, but Nathan says it’s about offering people sound guidance. She says no picture, no publisher; his face is the brand.

Nina gives Nelle some instructions. She says it’s a lot of work because they’re so backed up, but if an article holds Nelle’s interest, bring it to her attention. Nina notices a bracelet Nelle has on that Charlotte made out of macaroni. She has one too.

Dante sits Charlotte on his desk. He asks if she remembers what happened at the Nurses Ball. She says everyone was scared. Lulu says Valentin had to answer some questions about it, so he made the video there too. Dante says there are other people who have questions, and he went to answer them. Charlotte says then he’ll come back like he promised.

Jason thinks he should call Max, but Sam isn’t too sure. Jason is having enough trouble convincing them he’s out of the business. Michael knocks on the door. He has paperwork for Jason; they’re reorganizing the family trust. Jason tells him that Sonny’s phone keeps dropping out of service. Michael says that he and Carly are in Puerto Rico, and to try the landline. He asks if it’s important, and Jason says it could be.

Sonny makes a fire, and the rain is REALLY LOUD. So LOUD, I can barely hear them. Lightning strikes, and Carly jumps into Sonny’s arms. She says sorry, it seemed so close. The electricity goes out, but he says the storm shouldn’t last too long. She reminds him of when they were trapped for four days, and he said it was only going to be a couple of hours. She says it was one of her favorite times there. She lights some candles, and he talks about the time they taught the boys to play poker. She says that Sonny almost folded to let Morgan win.

Nathan tells Quinn that he appreciates the meeting, and Amy asks to confer with her client. In the hallway, Nathan tells Amy that he wants to help, but he can’t let her put his face on the book. Amy says she has a fix, but he says he can’t do his job with people thinking he’s an advice columnist. She asks him to let her try and save the deal. He says as long as his face doesn’t end up on a book cover. Amy tells Quinn they’ll do the photo shoot.

Spencer asks if anyone has been back to Windemere, but Laura wants to talk about something more pleasant. Spencer wants to address the issue of his stolen inheritance, but she says it wasn’t stolen. Doc explains about the will, and how the estate went to Valentin. Spencer lost his claim when Stavros died. They didn’t realize it, but it’s always belonged to Valentin. Spencer asks why Valentin didn’t claim it before, and Laura says it was only made known after Helena died. He asks what happens if Valentin goes to prison, and Laura tells him that Nina will probably decide.

Nina says she keeps telling herself it’s for the best; Lulu is Charlotte’s biological mother, and it might confuse her. Nelle says that isn’t true. She got to see the family up close, and Charlotte adores her. Nina says she did, but she’s living with Lulu now. Nelle thinks it’s best for Nina to stay in Charlotte’s life; there’s nothing confusing about a mom and a stepmom. Nina says Lulu wouldn’t be happy with it, but Nelle says Charlotte’s happiness is more important than Lulu’s comfort level.

Jason tells Michael that an old associate might be coming after Sonny. Michael wonders why Julian would say anything, and Sam says he claims that he’s trying to be better person, even though they don’t believe it. Michael says he’ll give Max the guy’s name, and have him tighten security. Jason asks if he’s sure that’s all. Michael promises that he’s not going anywhere near his father’s business, but that brings him to other reason he’s here. He asks if Jason wants to join him at ELQ.

Carly and Sonny drink to the best hurricane he can remember. She tells Sonny that he makes strong drinks, and he says they just have to relax and wait out the storm. She says it’s better than waiting at the airport. They both hear some noise outside, and Carly asks, what’s that? Sonny tells her to stay there and he’ll check.

Amy tells Quinn that they’ll do the shoot on Nathan’s terms. They’re not to show his face full to the camera. They want to preserve the mystery, so he’s in a shadow and only one eye is shown. Quinn says the customer needs a reason to pick up the book in the first place, and Amy says, exactly. A man’s face is in the shadow, with one brilliant blue eye showing; it makes them curious pick up the book, and it’s sold. Quinn says they’ll do it her way.

Lulu says there are new things Charlotte is getting used to, like thinking of them as family. Charlotte says papa and Nina are family too. Lulu says he had to go away, and truthfully, none of them know when he’s coming back, but she has plenty of people who love her. Charlotte says sometimes Spencer isn’t nice, and Lulu says that Charlotte can always come to her.

Nina looks at the family photo on her desk. Nelle comes into the office, and says she found something Nina might like. It’s a backstage account of a fashion show from an anonymous dresser. Nina likes a new point of view, and says she’ll read it. She asks Nelle to pick up a quinoa/kale salad that Kelly’s makes special for her, and tells Nelle to get lunch for herself too.

Michael talks about sustainable energy sources getting pushed back from Ned, and how he needs someone to get accurate feedback on the profitability. He tells Jason that there’s a lot of travel involved. Jason says he has no experience, but Michael says he’s a problem solver. When going over qualifications for a project manager, he realized Jason would be perfect.

Carly picks up a fireplace poker, and almost hits Sonny. He says good thing he checked. An intruder is outside, and it’s no one she wants to mess with. I’m thinking it’s a racoon or something.

Michael needs someone he can trust, and can’t think of anyone better, but Jason says it’s not the right time. He says Michael will need him to be away, and he’s been away enough. Sam says they can make it work. Michael gets a text from Nelle wanting to meet at Kelly’s, and he replies that he’s on his way. Sam asks if there’s a time limit, and Michael tells her the middle of next month. She asks if they can think about it for a couple of days, and he says okay, but needs to fill the position asap. He leaves, and Jason asks if she’s trying to get rid of him. Sam says that she wants him to have a challenge not involving Sonny

Carly says that parrot is still here? It’s Tito, the mean escape artist parrot. She asks if he’s okay with a rogue parrot that scared her to death, and tries to bite the guests. Sonny asks why she’s so jumpy.

Jason didn’t realize that Sam was still worried about Sonny. She says he seems fixated on warning him, and turned Michael down without even thinking about it. She wonders if he’s worried that he’ll be away if something happens to Sonny.

Quinn says once contracts are signed, they’ll schedule the photo shoot. She thinks it has mass appeal, and Man Landers is compelling. She’s overnighting the contracts. In the hallway, Amy is thrilled. She thinks the mystery man thing works for them, and thanks Nathan for trusting her and not walking out. She says it’s a huge deal for her and her brother, and hugs him.

Spencer asks what Nina has to do with it; a virtual stranger gets to decide the fate of Windemere? Laura says Valentin’s team of lawyers are probably hashing it out, and he asks if it wasn’t Shakespeare who said kill all the lawyers? He goes to bathroom, and Laura tells Doc that she was hoping boarding school would reign in his behavior. Doc says it helps create distance between him and his grief, and he keeps control with things as they were. Laura thanks him, and he says it’s been a blessing. They’ve fulfilled his life in ways he never imagined. They kiss.

Michael asks Nelle what the good news is, and she tells him about the job at Crimson. She says he was right. The bird pooping on her shoulder might have been good luck, and she thinks things are turning around.

Amy understands what an imposition it is, and how Nathan isn’t comfortable, but Nathan says he’s glad to help. She says Chet would do the same in his position, because he’s a good person. He says he’s doing it for her.

Michael asks how Nelle decided on fashion publication, and Nelle says it decided on her. She thinks it’s going to be a good fit. Michael says they have to celebrate. She says she’s just there to pick up lunch. He says ELQ is sponsoring a concert in park, and asks her to go with him.

Sam says she’d know Jason was safe if he worked for Michael. He says he’ll be right here, and not overseas working for Sonny or troubleshooting for ELQ. He says he doesn’t regret leaving Sonny’s business. He says he’s worried though, and wants to fly down. She says he can’t

Sonny tells Carly to relax. She says everywhere she looks, she sees the boys and goes over memories. She says the four of them were together, and there was enough time for everything. Sonny says time ran out. They look sadly at each other.

Nathan asks if Charlotte is joining the PCPD, but Lulu says they’re headed to Lila’s Kids. Dante says thanks for the phone, and asks how Nathan is.

Nelle asks if it’s a date, and Michael asks if they’re allowed. She says yes, and tells him she’ll see him later.

Doc thinks Spencer’s been gone a long time, and goes to check. Nelle says hello to Laura, and asks how Charlotte is. Laura says she’s enjoying Lila’s Kids, especially the arts and crafts. Doc comes back, saying that Spencer is gone.

Spencer walks into Nina’s office. He asks if he’s addressing Nina Reeves or Nina Cassadine, and says they need to talk.

Sam says Jason claimed he didn’t want to be part of the business. He says he just wants Sonny to know there’s a threat. Sam says she’s coming with him.

Carly tells Sonny that she sees Morgan everywhere on the island, and the worst thing that could happen really happened. Sonny says their son is gone. Carly says that no matter how happy you are, it’s just a moment that can disappear. He tells her thinking that way robs them of what they have right now. he says maybe they can be happy again. They kiss. Someone lurks in the shadows.

Tomorrow, Laura looks for Spencer, Jordan wants to cool things off with Curtis, and Sam isn’t letting Jason out of her sight.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Carole meets Tinsley for breakfast. Tinsley says her mother is coming to town, and accompanying her to look for apartments. They talk about going to the NY Botanical Garden Winter Wonderland Ball, and Carole looks up the pictures online, using her phone. Tinsley is happy to be in the press for something good. She says she’s glad to be back in the swing of things, and that she’s still going to counseling for what happened to her. Carole says she should redefine herself, starting with cutting her hair. In her interview, Carole says reinvention is not repetition. Tinsley says she’s not changing her look or her life.

Sonja packs for her trip, while Frenchie makes hors d’oevres. He’s going to be spending part of his time in Paris. Sonja says she doesn’t like when he walks in on her in the bathroom, and he tells her she should close the door. She says Tinsley keeps saying she’s leaving, but she wants to make sure that Tinsley is comfortable back in the city first. Sonja talks to Frenchie about how the girls are gossiping. Frenchie says he doesn’t like that they make a bigger deal out of Rocco than he is. In her interview, Sonja says she has a good time with Rocco, and until she doesn’t, she’s going to see him.

Ramona facetimes with Ashley. She’s proud of herself for redecorating without a decorator. I had to do that after we had a flood, and didn’t think it was that huge of an accomplishment. She’s having a sort of housewarming party, and invited Bethenny, wanting to bridge the gap. Ashley thinks she should give it space, and then try to straighten it out for the sake of their play friend group.

Tinsley and realtor friend Chris meet with her mother, Dale. Chris shows them a four-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment that’s only nine grand a month. Tinsley says her mother has no idea what downtown is, and thinks Manhattan is only the Upper East Side. They move on.

Carole’s friend/interior designer, John, arrives. She wants to get her 60-year-old couch recovered. She dumps fabric swatches out of a tote bag. John thinks cat-friendly is the way to go. Adam shows up, and Carole gives him some of the stuff he left behind. In her interview, she says things are going much better now that Adam has moved out, since she lives in a tiny apartment. Her definition of tiny being different from mine. The disagree over who owns a Buddha head. Omg, this is so high school.

Dale is much more approving of the next apartment. It is pretty impressive, and also nine thousand a month. Chris thinks it’s more bang for her buck and much more “her.” Tinsley is afraid of moving too fast, but won’t feel like she’s really back until she has her own place. She starts to get teary, and Dale suggests staying at a hotel. The apartment has its own elevator, and I want to cry.

Frederik visits Bethenny’s loft, and says that it smells cleaner. We flash back to him telling her it’s too cluttered. He thinks it looks a lot better and you can breathe now. He says get rid of the bar and they’ll get five and a quarter (million). Bethenny has spent a lot on the bar, and is concerned about it breaking if they try to move it.

Carole calls Dorinda, asking if she’s packed for Washington, where they’re going to protest at the Women’s March. They’re leaving in the morning. Carole is taking her lucky monkey.

Sonja meets Rocco at a bar and bakery. He tells her that Frank Sinatra practically lived there. In her interview, Sonja says she’s between a Rocco and a hard place. Since Frenchie knows about Rocco, she now has to tell Rocco about Frenchie. Rocco has had the place closed so that they can have dinner privately. They discuss Tom, and Rocco says he cheated when he was young. Sonja starts to stammer, and tells him about taking a complete stranger home one night. She thought he was going back to Paris, but now he’s smitten with her. She dances around the fact that he’s moved in. She tells Rocco that there aren’t any more guys in her life like either one of them. If I didn’t know what she was saying, I would have no idea what she was saying. Rocco says anyone can have sex, but friendship is important. In her interview, Sonja says Frenchie is possibly an infatuation, while Rocco is in it for the long haul. Rocco asks where she thinks it’s going with them, and Sonja answers without answering. They toast to the next kiss.

Dorinda and Carole march. We see lots of pink hats. Dorinda’s daughter, Hannah, joins them as well. Carole says she wants to hold this administration accountable, and feels they’re standing on the right side of history. Dorinda feels like a better person for being involved, and says this is huge. Hannah is proud to be a woman. It’s all well and good, but sounds like the Occupy Wall Street thing, where the protesters never really said what they were protesting about. Today’s word for this whole episode is, vague.

Tinsley wants to get rid of the tattoo of her husband’s initials, and her friend Anika says she didn’t even take her ex’s last name. Ha-ha! Ramona gets ready for her party. She has a cool flat screen TV where a non-Yule log is burning. Carole thinks Ramona is more traditional than the apartment reflects, and that she’s sporting an I Dream of Jeannie vibe. Dale compliments Ramona on her high ponytail. Dorinda presents her with a candle. Harry arrives. Ramona thinks she’s the only one he hasn’t dated. He asks about Sonja, who’s late. Tinsley has known him forever, but wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. He makes inappropriate comments and follows her.

Sonja blows in. She’s not drinking again, and goes the other way when she sees Harry. Too late; he’s seen her. She tells him she’s turned a new leaf, and he’s in Paris. Everyone makes small talk. Luann is happy that everyone is happy for her and Tom. She assumes Bethenny isn’t coming, and Dorinda says that Ramona and Bethenny aren’t talking. Ramona says she did invite Bethenny, but she RSVP’d she wasn’t coming. In her interview, Ramona thinks the RSVP is a step forward. Carole suggest that Ramona call or text privately, but Ramona wanted to show there were no hard feelings – even though Bethenny was “as bad as [she] was.” Here comes that backhand. She tells Carole she doesn’t remember exactly what she said, and Carole tells her that she’d had too much to drink. Dorinda says she uses alcohol as an excuse all the time. Ha-ha! Ramona says she loves Bethenny, and does want to apologize. Harry bugs Sonja.

Ramona says she wasn’t really thinking when she made up the guest list. Missy, who’d thought she was dating Tom and walked in on him with Luann, is there. Tom tells Luann that Missy is happy for them. In her interview, Luann says it’s healthy to be friends with your exes. Harry pumps Missy for the deets, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Dorinda vogues. Sonja says that Ramona is a pot stirrer, like we didn’t know, and that Ramona has been telling her what everything cost. They hear something crash in another room, and Sonja calls out, $12.99!

Next time, Bethenny wants to go snowboarding, Tinsley goes to therapy, and Dorinda comes for Sonja at yet another dinner fail.

🍲 On MasterChef, lifeguards were fed, but I was left with the question of wth is a purple green bean? If it’s purple, how can it be green? I have to admit to being a little happy when contestant Jennifer’s pork was undercooked. She’s a debt collector who claims her job is stressful, but I’ll bet it’s not nearly as stressful as it is for the people she hounds. Gordon basically said she let a setback cause her to “disintegrate.” Sadly, the balcony got polled, and she got to stay. She seems like a real jerk who can barely form a sentence, so there’s hope for more mistakes.

🎣 The challenge teams on The f Word were Slaw & Order (cops from Peachtree, GA – a gorgeous town) vs the The Food Bosses (a family who moved from the big city to a simpler life in rural TN). They made a New York strip steak with a dry rub, sautéed mushrooms, and potatoes. Andy Cohen had a cook-off with Gordon, and although I missed what they were cooking, Andy burned it. He doesn’t exactly strike me as the chef type. More like a Seamless customer. Joel McKale did some grilling, and Gordon did some scuba diving. He caught and cooked some spiky Caribbean pest fish that don’t belong in Islamorada, Florida, but make a tasty meal. Leslie Jones (love her! and she looks fantastic!) discussed grits and other food with Gordon. She also did a guess-the-food game, and we’ve all been forewarned that we probably don’t want to eat durian fruit. Or grasshoppers.

Gordon periodically checks with the diners about the team challenge, and I laughed when one said the potatoes were like something he’d make in the middle of the night when he was drunk. Personally, that’s when I prefer a can of Chef Boyardee anything. On Father’s Day, Gordon and daughter Mathilda challenged the world record holders, the McCurdys, for the number of eggs cracked with one hand. No shells in the glass, and one hand behind the back. I might be good for two or three. Maybe one. The McCurdys kept their title, bringing up their total as well. The Food Bosses won the challenge by a narrow margin. Next week, Gordon goes undercover again, and on a lake trip.

⌛ Andy Cohen: Then & Now brought us Being Rich: the 80s tonight, and how those spending habits then affect us now. Erika Girardi explained that money only brings out who you really are – if you’re a poor a-hole, you’ll be a rich a-hole. Mega-mansions; Donald Trump’s golden penthouse; the Playboy mansion (purchased in the 70s for one million), which Mauricio Umansky just sold for $100 million to Hugh Hefner’s neighbor, under the proviso that Hugh gets to live there in perpetuity, which is a scary thought; and Lisa Vanderpump’s Villa Rosa (Giggy’s house!). They’ve downsized since then, but she told us that as long as she and Ken have their own bathrooms, they’ll stay married. I understand. Kyle Richards said that today it’s all about the “smart house,” but I say no thanks. I’ve read Ray Bradbury’s short stories. A parade of amazing weddings came next. Carson Kressley weighed in on the topic, and I noticed he was wearing some seriously distressed jeans with a nice sportcoat, tie and pocket square. Shame on him. Larry Fortensky, the first trophy husband, is discussed, and it’s pointed out that while lavish weddings were once the thing, now it’s secret weddings a la Adele or Branjelina. Body maintenance was kept a secret in the 80s, but not really. One of Andy’s guests suggested that one day we’ll be able to download our soul into the cloud, and I almost fell off my chair laughing. Pre-nups! The Cat Lady! Who, btw, got billions in alimony, with the caveat that she can’t use any of it on plastic surgery. Greed is good, and Silicon Valley rich vs hedge fund rich. Bill Gates is worth $86 billion today, just in case you were wondering. Private jets, limos and yachts, and Robin Leach revealing that the most outrageous limo had a landing pad, hot tub, and a putting green. It was all about exclusivity and excess. Ah, the good old days. I miss them, and I’ll miss this show, as it’s the season finale. I love a good retrospective.

RearviewMirror

May 24, 2017 – Don’t Touch the Chimera, NYC Returns to the Berkshires & Two Times the Andy

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny arrives at the Nurses Ball, and Ava wants to jet. He asks why she’s leaving when the party just started.

Lulu asks Josslyn if she’s nervous. She says she is, but keeps reminding herself it’s for a worthy cause. She thought that Carly had said Sonny wasn’t coming, and Carly says he must have changed his mind.

Jason finds the chimera necklace on the floor. Anna accosts Valentin about the Chimera Project. He sees Nina hug Curtis.

Charlotte asks if the Chimera martini shaker is part of the act. and what does it do?  Jake says it’s powerful magic. He tells Charlotte that it’s a surprise, and not to touch it.

In the hospital, Nelle stirs. Kiki asks if she needs anything. Barely conscious, Nelle says, Michael.

Sonny says he has a problem with everything Ava does, and a big one with what she did to Morgan. Scotty comes to her rescue, and escorts her back to the table. Dante asks Sonny what that was about.

Lulu tells Laura that Charlotte is going to be one of Jake’s assistants.

Vaelentin tells Anna that the Chimera is gathering dust where it’s not a threat. Anna, on the other hand, has been one to his marriage and his life. He slides into the seat next to Nina while Lucy talks.

Sam asks Jason what’s wrong, and he shows her the necklace.

Lucy asks if we’re ready for female trouble with a capital T. Emma, Valerie, Amy 2.0 and Kristina perform Brave. Emma is quite a young lady now. I can’t help wondering when they all practiced, especially Emma. It’s a hit. Lucy encourages everyone to bid in the silent auction.

Bobbie sits at Carly’s table. She’s surprised about Sonny showing up, but Carly says the cause is important to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Morgan is gone, and Ava is trading on his name to make herself look good.

Kiki calls Michael. She says she needs to talk to his grandmother. Nelle is doing okay, but could use a friend.

Jason asks Sam if she really thinks it’s a coincidence. Sam wonders if Jake brought it, and Jason says, who else? Who else, indeed. Like any one of five people.

Emma and Charlotte wonder how they can assist, when they can’t even touch the magic trick. Jake says no one else knows how the magic works – only him.

Anna calls Robert, and tells him how proud she is of Emma. She’s not calling about that though. She asks what the Chimera actually does. After he tells her (we don’t hear it), she wonders how it ever got created in the first place.

Valentin asks if Nina is going to ignore him. Curtis thinks he should go back to his own table. Valentin says not without his wife, and begs Nina not to shut him out.

Anna approaches Andre. He says he’s having a good time, and wants to keep it that way. She explains that the person who offended him was her sister.

Nina tells Valentin that she has nothing to say. Valentin says she’s right, the time for talking is over. He gets up.

Valentin goes to Lucy’s dressing room. She says she’s happy about his donation, but it doesn’t cancel out that he shot Doc. He says he wants to up his donation to seven figures. Lucy asks him in exchange for what?

Sonny isn’t going to stop until he finds out how Morgan died. Dante says they know. Sonny says explain the pills then, and tells him about the dosage difference. He says Andre checked with the pharmacy, and Morgan was given the correct dosage. He’s going to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Andre calls the lab.

Valerie forgot her lipstick, and Kristina gives her a commercial for Burt’s Bees. Valerie says it’s perfect, and Kristina says it moisturizes as well. It is nice stuff.

Jason asks Elizabeth where Jake is. He shows her the necklace. Elizabeth wonders if someone gave it to him. No, he bought it himself. Geez. Jake asks what’s going on, and if they’re talking about him.

Valerie asks Jordan and Curtis if they’re enjoying the night, and Jordan compliments her on her performance. When she’s gone, Curtis tells Jordan that’s one way to show you’ve moved on. He tells Nina he hopes she took notes, because she needs to move on from Valentin. She’s not sure she wants to.

Lucy says Obrecht is unable to perform. We hear something that sounds like a bunch of pots and pans clattering backstage. She says they have someone just as rich…er, good. Valentin says this is for his wife, because he loves her. He sits at the piano. She’s mesmerized, and so am I. I can’t tell if it’s really him playing, but if not, they did a nice job with editing that. He sings Billy Joel’s And So It Goes. If Nina doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. Lucy introduces Valentin after the fact, and thanks him. Her dresses are fantastic – kind of nude, with lots of sparkles in strategic places. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Anna leaves, and Nina tries to follow. Curtis stops her, and tells her not to do this to herself; it’s not worth it. Anna asks Valentin to tell her what she needs to know.

Lulu (whose dress matches Charlotte’s) asks if Charlotte isn’t going to get ready, but she doesn’t think there’s going to be an act. Jason asks Jake if he’s seen the necklace before. He asks if it’s Jake’s, but Jake doesn’t say anything. He tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t feel good. Elizabeth asks if he just has stage fright, and Franco offers to go on stage with him. Elizabeth tells him that he doesn’t have to do what he doesn’t want to.

Dante tells Sonny that he has to talk to Ava and Lucy again. Sonny asks why Dante didn’t tell him that Ava was at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Dante says it could be a coincidence.

Carly wonders where Michael is. Josslyn tells her that Michael said something came up, and left. She jets before Carly can ask what came up.

Michael is at the hospital. Kiki tells him that Nelle asked for him. He pulls a chair next to her bed.

Dante says that when Ava’s name is mentioned, Sonny gets reckless. He suggests that Sonny and Ava stay away from each other. Sonny tells Dante he’ll be fine, and Lulu is probably wondering what happened to him. Dante goes back to his table, and Andre tells Sonny that there’s trace evidence of an inert substance in the pill bottle. It’s possible that the crumbled pill was a placebo. We won’t go over all the reasons that’s not how any of this works.

Valentin tells Anna, don’t. He says she and her sister have jeopardized everything he loves. Even worse, he let her, reverting back to what he was, a stuttering Richard III hunchback. He says the only things that matter are his wife and daughter, and if he ever mattered to her, let him alone.

Jake asks if Elizabeth is sure that he doesn’t have to perform; what I something bad happens? Elizabeth says the worst that can happen is they leave early, and everyone is cool with that. Jake is like, okay, no magic show.

Carly wonders what Sonny is doing there, and what he wanted with Ava. I’m totally distracted by Ava’s earrings; I want them so much.

Sonny says, Morgan was taking a placebo? and Andre says that would explain things. Sonny says someone set him up, tampering with his medication so he’d have a breakdown. And he’s going to find out who.

Ava is worried, but Scotty says he covered her tracks. No way is Sonny finding out.

Lucy says it’s a special thrill to introduce a newcomer.

Michael’s phone rings. He asks if it’s time. Josslyn asks why he thought it was a good idea. He tells her that his little sister is a rock star, and he wants everyone to know. He says he’s with her, and so is Nelle.

Lucy introduces Josslyn. Michael puts the phone on speaker. I don’t know the song (and couldn’t find it on Google), but the crowd goes wild. Sonny and Carly give each other a soap opera stare.

Franco says maybe Jake could perform at home. Elizabeth asks where the magic box is.

Charlotte says perhaps she and Emma can do the magic act. They open the box. She says they’ll start with the Chimera martini shaker.

Jason tells Sam that he didn’t like Jake’s reaction to the necklace. Sam wants to go home, but tells him to stay. Griff comes by, and asks if he’s seen Emma. He asks what Jason is doing with Anna’s necklace.

Anna says she understands that Valentin wants to leave past behind, but they’re jeopardizing the people they love. He tells her that the only person who knows about it, is dead. She asks who it is, and he says he sold it to Helena. Like this is a huge surprise.

Charlotte doesn’t know how to open the Chimera. She presses a button on it, and blue lights start flashing.

Nelle says that Michael missed Josslyn’s performance, but he says he just listened to it. He tells her that Josslyn backed him up in coming there.

Ava tells Scotty that she never meant for anything bad to happen; she just did it to protect Kiki. Scotty says doesn’t matter. Morgan is dead. Case closed.

Carly asks Sonny why he’s there. He tells her that he finally has answers about Morgan.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Valentin asks Lulu if there’s a problem, Scotty says Ava has to get out, Anna calls Robert, and Jake tries to stop the Chimera. I’m guessing that Obrecht is going to free herself from whatever closet Lucy and Valentin trapped her in, and it’s going to go off during her performance. Along with Lucy’s clothes coming off.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona is downtown. Carole’s kittens hang from the curtains. Dorinda is packing for the Berkshires.

Bethenny meets with her real estate guy, Frederik Eklund. (Million Dollar Listing: New York premieres tomorrow.) He’s checking out the apartment that she’s getting ready to sell, and she says it’s bittersweet. Frederik lusts after her shoe collection. Me too. And the humongous closet the shoes are in. Frederick tells her they need to de-clutter de-personalize.

Ramona drops by Carole’s place. She starts moving things around on the coffee table, and critiquing Carole’s way of placing things. I’d smack her. They talk about Dorinda’s party, and Luann’s upcoming wedding. Carole says Tom acts more like the bride than Luann.

While walking the dog, Tom and Luann discuss a honeymoon. She suggests South Africa. In her interview, Luann says she loves being married. She’s trying to get used to saying “our” again. Tom complains about gaining weight.

Carole tells Ramona that she thinks Luann is having second thoughts. She says that someone told her that all is not as it seems. We revisit the scene where Barbara is telling Carole that she thinks Luann would rather go through with it and get divorced later. Which, btw, Barbara is seriously miffed about, since she claims she didn’t know it would be on the show. Please. Barbara must be a full-blown idiot. Carole says maybe Luann is just having last minute jitters, but thinks the conversation should be had. Ramona says that she got a text from someone who used to date Tom, and he recently tried to be sexually aggressive with her. She called Tom a “dirty dog,” and said she didn’t think she was the only one he’s groping. Carole wonders if Luann cares. Ramona asks if they’re bad friends if they don’t tell her – or if they do tell her. She reminds Carole about what happened in Miami. We flash back to that, and she says it’s not just one kiss. Carole says maybe Luann is confiding in Dorinda, and Ramona thinks they should talk to her.

It’s Christmas in the Berkshires again. Dorinda messes with some giant balls (hush) that light up. We flash back to the last holiday dinner there, when Dorinda made it nice. She’s going to be more strategic this time, and invite the women in different groups over the course of three days. And yes, Sonja is invited this year.

Sonja thinks she’s cool because she’s in the first group and “invited early.” She arrives with Ramona. Tinsley is also coming after meeting her mother for lunch.

Tinsley’s mother asks if she’s happy in NYC. She’s brought Tinsley’s father’s ashes because she’s taking them to Florida, and Tinsley might want to say good-by. I would have hoped Tinsley had done that already, since he’s been gone for two years. Tinsley gets a drink from the mini-bar. She talks about her mother’s hugs being relative to her weight as a child, and in her interview, says that Southern mothers are particularly critical of their children. They talk about Sonja. Tinsley’s mother hopes Tinsley is appreciative, since Tinsley is sponging off of her.

Sonja complains about Tinsley not making coffee and excluding her when she goes out. Dorinda says she knows a lot about Tinsley’s past, but not who she is today. She thinks Tinsley needs to open up, and hopes over time that she trusts them more.

Tinsley’s mom wants her to have a baby, but Tinsley says she’s not just going to pluck some random guy out. They talk about Tinsley’s dating life.

Dorinda wants the girls to help decorate. She takes her tree seriously, and says it’s a religion. She gives detailed instructions on how the lights should be placed.

Adam’s parents, David and Lola, are in town, and Carole is accompanying them to find Christmas presents for Adam. In her interview, Carole says it didn’t take her two minutes to win Lola over, and parents love her. She says they want grandkids, and Adam wants kids, but she’s not going to be the one having them, since she’s 200 years old. She says what it means for the relationship is still to be determined. David acts exhausted, even though he hasn’t done anything except go along for the ride.

Tinsley gets to the Berkshires. In her interview, she says her mother told her you can never have enough Christmas decorations, but she thinks Dorinda is secretly Mrs. Claus. She does have a lot of them. Sonja picks on Tinsley for having lunch elsewhere. Tinsley keeps explaining that it was her mother.

It’s Dorinda’s birthday. She wants to show Tinsley her cake, but even though it says, “open here,” it’s the wrong side, and the cake has toppled. Dorinda says, enough wine, and the cake will be beautiful. Amen, sister!

Bethenny tells the driver no hookers, because they might have to peel out at midnight. She and Carole act like five-year-olds walking in, but Carole says she thinks the third time is the charm. Dennis has sent Bethenny flowers at Dorinda’s because he knows she needs floral therapy in the Berkshires. She’s just hoping Ramona leaves her alone.

Carole talks to Bethenny alone about Luann. Bethenny wonders if there’s any way they can get her out of it. Luann obviously doesn’t care or doesn’t want to know, so I’m not sure why these women keep wanting to get involved. Unless Andy Cohen is standing there with a pitchfork. I used to think Jeff Probst was the antichrist until Andy came along.

Bethenny says it was reliable information last year, and the same source has it that Tom is straying again. Carole says Bethenny is like the cautionary tale for a whirlwind romance. Bethenny agrees, but says hers wasn’t as bad at this point in time. Bethenny wants to be on a group tag team to tell Luann, as she was on her own in Miami.

Omg, Dorinda has a fat little dog named Lucy who is just precious. The ladies mess with the fireplace, and try to burn down Dorinda’s house by not opening the flue. They sit down for drinks, and Dorinda says that Luann is rock solid about getting married. Carole says she’s heard differently. Ramona says she doesn’t want Luann to be the last to know. In her interview, Dorinda wishes they could talk about someone else. Ramona reads the texts she received. Dorinda hopes they’re taking it the wrong way. Bethenny says the cracks become craters. She says her situation didn’t even start the same way, and look how it ended up. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t want to hear it, but now she’s obligated to say something, so Luann can either leave, stay, or shoot someone. She asks the other women to be with her because she’s afraid.

Dorinda thinks all she’ll get is anger, but Carole says she’s being a good friend. Luann arrives while the ladies are setting out the materials for cookie decorating. Bethenny asks about Luann’s dress, and if she’s all set. Luann talks to Tinsley about finding her own place. Tinsley says Sonja talks smack behind her back, and Luann says welcome to the club. Tinsley tells the ladies that she can’t even talk to Sonja’s assistant without it being a problem. Sonja says she can’t have him doing errands, and she has to treat him professionally. Tinsley claims that she only asked him once to take a package for her. Ramona tells her to face it, she can’t do anything right. Sonja makes up stupid scenarios that could have happened if her assistant dared open the door for Tinsley’s delivery. No way would I live with this woman. No wonder Tinsley ditches her.

Bethenny tells Carole that she’s glad Ramona is keeping her distance. She thinks everyone told Ramona how foolish she looked, and she’s trying to make up for it.

In private, Dorinda tells Luann the saga continues. She asks if Luann is happy, and if she believes Tom is done with other women. She tells Luann about the texts, and says she wanted to come to her directly. She asks if Luann trusts Tom. Luann says she trusts him 100%. She says they don’t check each other’s phones, and Dorinda admits to checking John’s phone, as well she should. Luann says she doesn’t care what anyone says. Dorinda tells her that as long as she doesn’t feel like she’s being pressured, it’s all good. In her interview, Dorinda says at the end of the day, it’s Luann that has to handle this. Luann wonders if the women don’t have anything better to do, and thinks they’re talking about her because they’re missing something in their own lives.

Luann tells Dorinda that Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends, trying to dig up dirt, and poof! Ramona appears.

Next time, two weeks until the wedding, Carole wonders why all these women want to kiss Tom, Bethenny refuses to make a toast, and Ramona and Bethenny have it out.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1990. George Michael’s Freedom video, supermodels, Vogue! The Fly Girls (whose inspiration was part hip-hop, part Ann Margaret), Nelson Mandela’s release, more realistic family sitcoms, Married with Children and Terry Rakolta, Twin Peaks, the first war live on TV (the Gulf War), Home Alone, and Sinead O’Connor shaving her head. The twist on this retrospective show, is that all of the main topics covered are tied to how they’ve influenced today. I like this show almost as much as CNN’s decades series. The biggest revelation this evening? RuPaul finds Ed O’Neill sexy.

🏖 Watch What Happens Live has been blessed with a few of the Beverly Hills Wives stopping by since they’re filming in LA this week. Lisa Vanderpump stopped by the other night with a batch of puppies and I almost passed out. Erika Jayne  dropped in tonight, and Kyle Richards also did a bit with Andy at the beginning of the show. Guest Bethenny Frankel was a hoot, spilling the tea where she could, and joining her, Eric Stonestreet was just delightful. James Kennedy (Vanderpump Rules) has been the house DJ, and Andy brought along the Gay Shark, who has acquired rainbow swim trunks for his trip to the West Coast. Tomorrow, Chelsea Handler is on. I’ll be watching, but she’s not a favorite of mine. I liked her original show when it first aired, but I saw her change over time, becoming more mean than funny. God forgive me, but I was glad when she cried over Hillary losing the election.

 

April 25, 2017 – Nina Gets a Horse, Alex Lies About Lushion & a Beverly Hills Farewell

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Michael plays pool by himself. Lulu and Dante walk in, and Michael tells them about Jax being released. He says Nelle did something good for Jax, but it doesn’t absolve her. Lulu says as bad as it was, it takes two, and Michael asks if Nelle didn’t tell them. Lulu says she can tell them herself right now, since she just walked in.

Valentin is looking for his watch. It’s in Nina’s hand. Listening in, Anna tells her to mind her own business, raising my blood pressure by 100 points, since she should be minding her own business and Nina is married to Valentin, so it is her business.

Tracy tells Ned that the only option is for Samira to leave. Or wait for immigration to come with a warrant. Samira says she’s not leaving without the painting. It’s the only way to save her daughter.

Finn runs into Hayden. He asks if they can make it not awkward. Griff comes along, and says Finn’s test came back positive. Because Brad had his grubby little hands on it. He doesn’t say that last part, but we know it.

Nina wonders why Valentin needed another watch. He says he used to do questionable things for money, and now he has money to buy questionable things. He says he indulged himself, but he’d rather indulge her. He’s bought her a horse. They go to the stables, and the watch gets left on the table. Poor Anna. She can’t listen in. I’m just devastated.

Griff tells Finn it’s not specific, but it’s some form of opiate. Finn says that’s impossible, but Griff says they ran it twice. Finn wonders if there’s still a trace of Zen-Zen in his system. He says the test needs to be repeated, but he thinks it’s a mistake. Griff says next time it had better show a decrease, and under no circumstances is he to treat patients. When Griff leaves, Hayden asks if Finn has been using.

Tracy says she’s just trying to help. Samira says she can’t leave without the painting. Laura says it’s more than a reminder of Tracy’s father, and has the power to save a life. What if she was in Samira’s shoes? She didn’t even know it existed a few months ago, and the real connection is the letter. Tracy wonders how she’d get it out of the country – it’s bound to bring attention to the expired visa. Samira says Tracy isn’t going to change her mind, and leaves the room. Ned thinks it requires further investigation. Laura wonders if Samira turns out to be Tracy’s sister, if she’ll change her mind, or does she want her out of sight before that happens?

Finn tells Hayden that he knows he’s an addict. If he uses again, he’ll lose everything. He wants to get out of the hole he’s dug for himself, and get everyone’s respect back. Hayden asks why he’s sweating, and he tells her that he did a workout on his lunch break. He says a way to cope with addiction is to distract oneself, and she can talk to Felix, who was there with him. She asks why the test came back positive, but Finn doesn’t know. Hayden asks him to promise he’s playing by the rules, and he says not exactly.

Michael approaches Nelle, and asks her to talk to Dante. At the table, Lulu says Nelle is crazy about Michael. She says unfortunately, she likes Nelle, and thinks Michael was into her before the thing happened with Sonny. Dante says they’re not in the loop, and don’t know what happened. Lulu suggests he take his detective hat off and they enjoy the evening.

Nina loves her horse; she’d always wanted one of her own. She says that Lumière is the perfect name. Valentin tells her that its a horse of a different rare color. Nina says that Lumière defies light and glows, and Valentin says that she does too. They start to kiss, and pervert Anna has no shame. Her doorbell rings. It’s Griff.

Griff asks why Anna hasn’t returned his calls or texts. She didn’t show up for a phlebotomy, and she has no idea how dangerous that is. He wants her to go right now, but she tells him to wait. She says she’s fine, and Griff says she’s not super human. He explains how it can cause a blood clot. He threatens to call Robin. She says she doesn’t want them to intervene; she’s already had her treatment. She decided to go to a private facility. GH is too public, with everyone being so concerned. It’s lovely in theory, but she doesn’t want the fuss. He says left to her own devices, she could skip a treatment. She asks him to respect her wishes and privacy. He tells her that blood cancer is nothing to be remiss about, and he’s also worried about her and Valentin. She says that Valentin’s accusations were right; she was very cruel to him. Griff says it doesn’t sound like her, and she says they all have their pasts. He asks what’s next between them.

Nina says she wants to go riding, but Valentin wants to change her mind.

Lulu and Dante sit at a table. Lulu says that they’re celebrating how well her first visit with Charlotte went, and asks Dante to put police business aside. Nelle tells Michael he could have her arrested. Lulu interrupts, and asks how Nelle’s new job is going. Nelle says that Charlotte loved the Easter egg hunt and seeing the bunny. Lulu is glad they had a chance to bond.

Dante talks to the bartender. He tells him about the pills, and wonders how they got there. He asks if the bartender had seen them, but he says no.

Finn tells Hayden that it has nothing to do with drugs. He had a friend come to him with a problem, and he offered to help. She asks what Tracy wanted. He says he could get in trouble, but it was important to the one friend he has. At least if he gets in trouble, it won’t be for drugs.

Laura says she knows who Tracy is deep down, and she’s better than this. Tracy says it hasn’t been proven yet, but Laura tells her to just do the right thing. Ned comes in with Samira, and says he’s making phone calls to see if there’s something else he can do. He asks Tracy to take her somewhere safe that’s close by, but Samira collapses.

Lulu tells Dante about Charlotte loving their visit. He says good, now she doesn’t have to pull any tricks with Valentin. She admits she was considering having Nelle spy on her, or involve Michael.

Michael tells Nelle that it sucks being the prize in a custody war. Nelle asks how he knows, and he tells her about several over him. He says he spent a lot of time being shuttled back and forth, knowing the people he loved were angry because of him. Nelle wonders if he could explain it to Charlotte. Or maybe not. She says if he wants to talk to Dante, do it now, because she doesn’t like the threat hanging over her.

Hayden brings up Finn saying she was a gold-digger, but he doesn’t remember saying it. He says she changed, showing compassion and love when he needed it, and he’s going to change too. He knows he has a long way to go, but he’s working on it. He talks about when they first met, and tells her that she’s succeeded. He will too, but it won’t be easy. Maybe she can see he’s on the right path to being the man she can trust.

Tracy comes into the hospital with Samira. Finn directs them to an examining room. He says he can’t help her, but Tracy says it’s an emergency. Finn asks a nurse to get her vitals. Tracy asks if he’ll treat Samira.

Anna tells Griff that she and Valentin made a truce. Griff says that Valentin doesn’t seem like the forgiving type. He doesn’t trust Valentin, and doesn’t think she should. Finn calls, and tells Griff that it’s an emergency. He says she has an expired visa and immigration is after her, and maybe Griff can help. Griff tells Anna he has to go, but they’ll have dinner another time. As soon as he’s gone, she schedules the phlebotomy that she didn’t really get.

Valentin tells Nina he loves her and she transformed his life. She’s made him happier than he deserves to be. He was a bad man who did bad things. He never really changed until Charlotte came along. Nina says that she hasn’t been a nice person either. He says her choices were made out of pain. He just wants her and Charlotte to be happy. He’s sorry about the whole business with Anna, and apologizes. Nina says she loves the horse, but all he has to do is be honest with her.

Anna listens in. Nina says she has to give Valentin honesty in return. She says the Anna thing bothered her. He says that Anna’s past is as dingy as his own, and she offered a truce. Nina says the truth is, if you suspect cheating and it turns out to be true, it’s hard to trust again. She wonders if it’s something that will be with her forever, and says Jealousy makes people do crazy things. She doesn’t want to go backwards and give into herself because of Anna He says Anna isn’t a threat to them, and ominous Anna says they’ll see about that. Valentin suggests they go to the bedroom. Nina wants to ride first, and suggests they have dinner in bed. He says he has to run an errand, but will be back by dinner.

Anna calls Valentin when Nina leaves. He asks what she wants. She asks if it’s a bad time, and he says actually he needs to see her. She says she needs to see him too, and he says he’s on his way.

Michael tells Nelle it was up to his dad to talk to Dante, so she’s off the hook. He says he knows she wasn’t completely at fault, but he feels worst for Avery and Josslyn. She says she never meant to hurt them, and he tells her that revenge is like an explosion; you don’t know where it will hit. She says he’s never going to forgive her, and he says he doesn’t know. Her takeout food comes, and he says maybe someday he can forgive her. She leaves.

Lulu tells Dante that she was going to give Michael a nudge, but now she doesn’t have to. Dante says he can’t believe she’d use his brother for her personal gain, and she says it was her mom’s idea.

Griff gets to the hospital, and Finn tells Laura she’s in good hands. He tells Tracy that Samira could just be dehydrated and stressed. She asks about the DNA test, and he says it could be tonight or a few days. Ned pops out of nowhere, and asks Tracy what that was about.

Hayden tells Finn that she’s impressed he didn’t break his agreement. He says he’s trying. She says she sees that, and sees who he is when not under the influence. She’s going to give them time. He says that’s all he asks. She says it’s a deal.

Tracy tells Ned she’s just worried about Samira. He wonders why she cares so much so soon; it’s not like her. He says Edward is where she’s most vulnerable. He thinks the painting is key. Laura asks Tracy if she’s okay. She says not until she gets the test back, and that might not be for days.

Lulu tells Dante that Nelle screwed up, but might do better if someone believes in her.

Nina looks for Valentin, but he’s not there. She thinks back to when she found Anna in the living room with him. She says, please don’t be with Anna. Nelle tells her that Charlotte isn’t in her room, and Nina apologizes, telling Nelle that Charlotte is at a sleepover. Nelle says she has a book she wants to finish, a spy thriller, her favorite genre. Nina asks for a favor. She wants Nelle to put her love for spy thrillers to good use. She’d like Nelle to spy on someone.

Anna’s doorbell rings. Guess who? She invites Valentin in, and thanks him for coming. He says he’s just come to return the watch. I think she’s trying to smile romantically at him, but only succeeds in looking insane IMO. He says whatever was between them is over. She takes his hand and gives him another creepy smile.

Tomorrow, Nelle asks who Nina wants her to spy on, Sonny talks to Bobbie, and Carly says she won’t do anything that Sonny doesn’t deserve. Well, that sure leaves it open.

If Loving You is Wrong

I hope Officer Rick is going to be a thing. I’m starting to like him.

Alex is walking the kids home from school and they see Randal. He wants to talk to her, but she says she has to get the kids to bed. They remind her 3 pm is too early for bed. Well, that depends. She sends them inside, and Alex tells Randal to never bring them into it again. He tells her that jail might be safer for her now, after Natalie finds out she’s sleeping with Lushion. She tells him he’s mental. Randal asks if it’s Lushion’s baby, and she says wouldn’t he like to know? He says three men is a lot even for a pro ho like her. Although I would think that if you were a pro, that wouldn’t be very many. She tells him it’s four, and she’s not sure who the baby’s father is. He asks if she’s sleeping with Lushion, and she says yes. Why, Alex, why? Why get Lushion in trouble when he’s one of the few decent guys on this show? (Just in case you’re a new viewer, she’s lying. Lushion would never do such a thing.)

Randal calls Alex a slut, and she thanks him. He asks where they did it and she says mostly in the police car. She tells him to go ahead and tell Natalie. He wonders who she is, and she says she asks herself the same question every time she sees him. He regrets having met her, and she says finally, something they can agree on. He says he’ll make sure every day of her life is a living hell, which actually might be an improvement. She tells him to run along and start preparing. He suggests she sent her parents there to kill him. She’s like, sorry, sorry that they didn’t succeed. He says he sees a little, abused girl trying to be a woman. She tells him he must know that some of those women have sexual issues and she’s one of them. She wants it wherever and whenever she can get it. He tells her to shut up, and she says he’s the one who wanted to analyze her. She says he’s not as good as he thought. He says she loved every minute, and she says she kind of misses it. He tells her to hold on to the memory and she laughs. She teases him, talking about how she remembers when she’s alone at night. That’s when she calls Lushion and he makes her forget all about Randal. He says she’s lying. She asks if he got a good look at the baby, and that he looks just like Lushion. Randal says if the test comes back and the baby isn’t his, she’ll see what happens.

She asks if he wants her. She says she’s wearing the perfume he likes. She asks him to tell her. He says he doesn’t want her and hates her. She says that’s good because she hates him too. She suggests they meet in the shed. Randal says she’s up to something. She says not as much as him.

Eddie nearly runs them over. He jumps out of his truck, and starts screaming at the both of them. Alex’s kids come out, and she says everything is fine and to go back in. She tells them that Eddie lost control of his truck. Paisley says he was probably texting and driving. Surprisingly, Eddie holds it together, and tells them to get inside. He says Alex isn’t going anywhere until they talk. He asks what she’s doing, and says that the blonde dye has soaked into her head. He says he’s telling Brad, and she says go ahead. He wants to talk about the murder she committed. She’s like, huh? She says she didn’t kill anyone; she went to her parents to tell them to lay off of Randal. She had nothing to do with it, and she isn’t an accessory. He wonders who’s been training her on how to speak. He asks if Lushion has been talking to her about Andrew. She says she has nothing to do with that, and Eddie says she ran him over. We both go, what? Eddie claims he’s trying to help her, and she wonders when that’s ever happened. Eddie says Andrew has been missing since she ran him over. Alex asks what he wants. He says nothing, but if she keeps telling tall tales, it’s going to be a bad day, like it’s not already. He tells her Andrew is dead, and she says she didn’t do it. She asks why they haven’t found him, and Eddie says anything could have drug him into the swamp. He tells her to keep telling herself lies, but they both know the truth.

Kelly gets a call from her ex, Tyrell (I finally caught his name). He asks what’s wrong, and she says nothing, but he’s not buying it. She asks how he is, and he says he knows something is wrong for sure now. Kelly says it’s his mother. She came by asking for a key, but she wants to talk to Justice first. Tyrell understands, but Kelly says his mother didn’t. He says he’ll talk to her, but Kelly thinks it will just make her angrier. He says she just loves her baby boy, and Kelly says she loves hers too. He asks if she loves him too. She says Justice just got off the bus (a mother’s equivalent of saying there’s something on the stove), and asks if he can call her back. He tells her he loves her, and to give his love to Justice. He doesn’t seem awful. What’s up with that mother? Kelly calls Justice’s phone.

Lushion calls Natalie, asking where she is. She tells him she’s at work, but she’s on the way. She tells him that Mr. Kim came by the hospital and said he was sorry. He also offered Joey a job. He was glad Joey was there to protect Faun. She asks what’s wrong, and Lushion tells her to hurry up and get there. He says there’s a problem they need to solve, and he’ll tell her when she gets there.

Marcie comes to Brad’s office. She wonders if he’s been ignoring her calls, but he says he’s been swamped. She was thinking about what he said about Alex, and she’s going to stop. She has one condition – Alex needs to stop taunting her. She’s vague about how Alex is doing that, but says if Alex leaves her alone, she’ll leave Alex alone. He says he’ll mention it, and Marcie asks if he’s talking to Alex. He says no, but when Marcie says he’s thinking about it, he says maybe. She asks what that means for them, and he says they already talked about it. She says she’s not ready to give him up, and he tells her that she’s all over the place. She says she needs him. He says he’ll send her the rent. She says it’s not that. She has big decisions to make, and needs someone she trusts to help her through it.

Marcie sits on Brad’s lap. She tells him she cares about him, appreciates him, and really loves him. He says he loves her too, and they kiss. What is up with this? She wants him to know she’ll always love him whether they end up together or not, and he says he feels the same way. He wants her to get up, but she doesn’t want to, so he tickles her. He says her stomach is different. She says thanks, she just ate lunch. He wonders if she’s pregnant by him, but she says they both know that’s not possible. He says that would certainly get the town talking, and she says it would be the ultimate pay-back. She asks if he wants a child with her, but he says not in this situation. She asks if it would be that bad, and Brad says she’s scaring him. He says he’s going to be late. Marcie asks if he’s going to see Alex, and he says maybe. Marcie leaves, and Brad is like, whew!

Randal’s doorbell rings. It’s a woman who’s come to do the DNA test. She makes small talk about his house while she sets up the test. She tells him he has a lot of muscles, and he says she’s hot as hell. She says she used to compete. Seriously, would someone who does in-home DNA tests have this kind of conversation? She says they’re going to do both a swab and blood test. He asks what she’s doing later, and she tells him she’s having dinner with her wife and their kids. He asks if she’s a lesbian, and she says she doesn’t like labels. I roll my eyes at the both of them. She says even if she was into guys, she wouldn’t be into one who denies his kid. He says that’s not it; he wants custody. She says good for him; he’s one of the good guys. If she only knew. He wonders why she’s not testing anyone else. He tells her that Lushion was one of his ex’s partners, and he just lives down the block. She says she’ll get on it. She leaves while Randal flexes his muscles. He says she thinks she’s gay, but not when he’s done with her. Randal has reached a new low.

Esperanza and Rick are trying to track down Justice. They have the judge issuing warrants, but Rick says if the phone battery has been taken out, they can’t trace it. He asks if Kelly might have set this up. Esperanza says she wouldn’t do that, but Rick says that Travis tells a different story and has proof. He says that Travis has a text message, and Esperanza tells him that he’s acting like a rookie; she can vouch for Kelly. Rick asks why Kelly didn’t file a restraining order, and Esperanza says she did. He says only Travis has one on file, and there’s back up.  Esperanza tells him to just do his job. She calls Kelly, and tells her to relax and let the police handle things. Kelly is borderline hysterical, and Esperanza asks why she didn’t file the restraining order. Kelly thinks Esperanza is accusing her of being responsible for the kidnapping, and says that the lawyer didn’t call her back. Esperanza asks for the lawyer’s information. She tells Kelly to hold on.

Esperanza calls the lawyer, but he’s not in. She finds out that he’s at church. She asks what one, and thanks them. She tells Kelly that the lawyer isn’t returning her calls because he’s a member of Travis’s church. She gives the phone to Rick. He asks if Kelly heard anything in the background, but she didn’t. He says there’s an APB out, and asks if Travis would hurt Justice or where he might take him. Kelly doesn’t know. Esperanza says they’re sending someone to the church. Kelly says she can’t just sit there. Rick gets a check on Justice’s phone and jets. Kelly tells Esperanza that she’s coming to the station.

Everyone arrives at Kelly’s house at the same time – Kelly, Esperanza, and the police. Esperanza holds Kelly back while the police go in with guns drawn, but they come back out. They’re all coughing and waving their hands.

Next time, Brad threatens to kick Randal’s ass, Randal talks to Natalie, and Eddie says the party is just gettin’ started.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion, Part Three

We go back to the bunny. Kim never gave it to her grandson, and because it wasn’t given to her with the “right energy,” she gives it back to LisaR, who ends up leaving the stage. Kyle thinks Kim should explain how superstitious she is to Lisa, and Kim takes the roving bunny with her backstage.

She runs into LisaR, who’s coming back out. Lisa says it’s the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to her, and Kim is a sick woman. I agree that it’s pretty bad, and I don’t even like Lisa. Eileen comes back on stage and says it doesn’t look good. Kyle says nobody wants the bunny, but Andy does, for the clubhouse. He’s the worst.

LisaR strides back to the reunion circle, and says it was cruel and mean. Kim tries to justify her actions, and Lisa has an f-off sound effect thing, and keeps pushing the button on it. Kim says she was going to do it before, but she figured they’d both be at the reunion. So yeah, why not do it on national TV instead of in private? Lisa says she’s a sick woman, and Kim says she feels the same way about Lisa. Lisa says Kim wants to be on the show, and she’s her meal ticket, which is where she goes totally wrong. Even I think that’s stupid. Not that it excuses Kim’s behavior. Lisa accuses Kyle of condoning every rotten thing that Kim has done, and Kyle says it’s not like she has control over her, and she’s not apologizing for anything her sister does.

Dorit tells LisaR that she has a big mouth, and Lisa tells her to shut up, causing a moment of silence. Dorit tells Lisa that she goes for the jugular, and like usual when she can’t form real words, Lisa says that Dorit does too. Lisa says she speaks her truth, and Kyle says that doesn’t make it okay. She put Kyle in the worst position, when they’d never even had a fight. Lisa says she’s apologized. Lisa says Kyle says mean things about her lips, and I can’t believe that’s’ the best she can come up with. Andy moves on.

A viewer suggests the only reason Eden went after Kyle and Kim, is that she wanted to create a storyline for herself. Eden says she wasn’t the one who said those things, but agreed with it because of her own past. It was something she recognized and projected onto them.

Omg I can’t believe it. We go back to when the earth cooled, in the limousine, where Kyle talked about how Mauricio supported Kim like a second wife, because a viewer has asked if that wasn’t enabling. Kyle says that she believes enabling is turning a blind eye to the situation, and that’s never been the case with her. She has a wing of hair sticking out, and it’s all I can look at.

A viewer asks if LisaV thinks LisaR was acting when she said she didn’t remember saying anything about Kim and Kyle. Because LisaV knows all. LisaV says if she’d said something like that, she’d remember. Dorit says LisaR crucified her for not remembering a five-minute conversation. LisaR tells her to shut up again, and then says sorry. Another viewer asks Kyle if she thought LisaR really forgot. Lisa keeps repeating that she really didn’t remember. Eileen says that what Lisa said was wrong, but game night got weird because of Kim. We flash back, but I don’t see it that way. Eileen babbles, and tells Kim not to be rude, because she has something to say. She says Kim inserted herself in a conversation where she didn’t belong, and she has no idea what she’s talking about. I’m not sure Eileen knows what she’s talking about. I also hate how she hammers questions at someone, then talks over them when they try to answer. Eileen tells Kim that just because she’s obnoxious, doesn’t mean she’s right. She says that Kim attacked her and LisaR. LisaV says that what LisaR said was incredibly damaging, and LisaR says she apologized. She hasn’t said anything about Kim since, and thought they’d made amends. We flash back, and it looks that way to me. LisaR says it she sees that it’s not going to work, but that’s okay. She’s moved on.

And we’re moving on to the bag o’ pills. We flash back to LisaR saying she put Xanax in smoothies, pulling out her plastic bag, and Dorit repeating the story. Then telephone gets played with Eden, and we come full circle to the confrontations on the boat and the Hong Kong dinner. LisaR always comes off as crazy as a loon to me. Kyle acts like Eden started it. I get distracted by Dorit’s dress, because it has tiny chains hanging all over it. I love it so much. Dorit explains why she asked Eden about LisaR, and says she didn’t say that Lisa had a Xanax problem; LisaR created the story. LisaR says Dorit “makes her head crazy.” I have the feeling that doesn’t take much.

LisaR insists that Dorit kept talking about it. Lisa pulls out the bag of pills, and Andy asks what’s in there. It’s nothing exciting. Lisa says she takes Benadryl is for acid reflux, and I’ve never heard of such a thing. She tells Andy that she’s never really put Xanax in a smoothie, and Andy says she could use one. Erika says when you say sh*t, it becomes bigger than it is. She says it doesn’t make anybody look good; they’re all in the same boat, and she doesn’t understand why it keeps happening.

Andy asks about the coke thing. LisaR says she was just being honest. Dorit says she’s a mom, and Lisa went there for no reason. Lisa says it’s what she observed, and Dorit says she said it to hurt her. Kyle says she would have flipped out if it had been said about her. Andy asks why did everyone get up and where did they go? I find out the guy who got stuck at the table with Lisa is Elliot Mince. Lisa says that Dorit was told she needed a touch up, and everyone disappeared. I’m thinking they wanted to get away from Lisa, and maybe Elliot is deaf. Dorit says she doesn’t know what happened. It could have been a number of things, none of which is what Lisa insinuated. Andy asks if there were drugs at her party, and Dorit says of course not, it’s ridiculous. He asks if Lisa’s personality is induced in any way, and Lisa says she’s 100% Lisa.

Andy almost gets Kim and Eden off the stage, but Eileen interrupts, saying that Kim looks down on her because she’s a soap actress. Kim says she doesn’t, but she thinks Eileen is exaggerating things, and reality TV is different. Eileen asks if Kim has seen herself. Kim says she’s dramatic, but it’s real life drama. Eileen says she doesn’t talk about Kim that way. Kim repeats that this is real life, and Eileen says bye-bye, rude, bye-bye Kim, which makes her look pretty immature. Kim brings up Eileen’s support of LisaR, and Eileen says she thought it might have something to do with that. LisaV suggests that Eileen is supportive when LisaR is wrong, but Eileen and LisaR won’t hear of it.

Eden and Kim finally exit. LisaR claims she needs a Xanax, and walks offstage. What did Erika just say? She’s doing it to herself.

We go down LisaV Memory Lane. We go over her work for the dogs, and I try not to get all emotional. I love Lisa all over again. We also flash back to Max’s search for his birth parents. Andy asks how Lisa came to terms with that. She says that she felt more vulnerable in the beginning. She tells Andy that they found Max’s mother. Andy asks if he’s going to meet her, and Lisa thinks he should. He says he wants to thank her. She says if she was younger, she might feel threatened, because he could be taken away, but it’s still emotional. She says she wants to create a buffer in case it doesn’t work out the way they’re hoping. We move on to the condo that Lisa gave Max. A viewer wonders why she got it for him, since she promotes her kids making it on their own. She says that he’s a good kid who holds down a job, has been on his own for years, and asks for nothing, so she just wanted to do it. Seriously, I wouldn’t take up much space in her house if she wants to adopt me.

Andy talks about the dog meat trade, and asks if China has acknowledged our fight against it. Lisa says what’s important is to get the word out. Taiwan did recently outlaw the dog and cat meat trade, which is definitely progress, but it was before this was filmed. Eileen says she’s done a great thing, and Lisa thanks everyone for being supportive.

A viewer accuses LisaV of replacing Giggy with a younger, furrier Harrison. Lisa says Harrison was very needy and she probably over compensated, but the Gigster still reigns, and they’re best friends. Andy asks if it’s like Menudo at her house, and all of us laugh. We see an interview with Giggy. Too cute for words. Giggy!

We see LisaR’s nude selfie from Instagram. Thanks. Harry didn’t even know about it, but her daughters made her take it down. We look back on family time at Lisa’s house. They discuss Delilah’s new modeling career, and Lisa says Amelia is right on her heels. Andy stupidly wonders if it was awkward when Delilah did the same show as Gigi Hadid. Lisa says not at all, and talks about how lovely Gigi is and that Yolanda did a wonderful job. We find out that Harry watches all of the shows. She says he tells her she just can’t help herself, and she gets it from all sides.

Andy asks if there are any regrets. LisaR says she’ll never talk about Kim again. He asks Eileen what she has to say to her critics, and she says she always comes from a good place. Dorit says she wouldn’t have given Erika the underwear, and she’s learned about how it goes when something gets out there. Kyle says new people shift the dynamics, but she thinks they’re all good people, and it was a good experience. Andy asks LisaV what she’d do if someone tried to steal the crown, and Lisa says let them have it, adding that she’s had good relationships this season. I’m sure anything beats Brandi. Andy says that Erika revealed more than she had possibly planned on revealing, and Erika says no regrets. She hopes people see that she’s like everyone else inside. Andy brings up how she said everyone needs a little Erika Jayne, and asks who needs it the most. Erika says they all need triple-shots right now.

This helps Andy segue to the smoothie toast he’s prepared, and he asks LisaR for the bunny. She gives it to him for the clubhouse (where it was the bartender, as well as the secret word tonight). The smoothies have umbrellas in them. Andy says long live The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and everyone clinks glasses. Lisa says it’s better with a Xanax.

The end…for now.

April 19, 2017 – A Painting Conundrum, Tyler Tuesday & Beverly Hills Reunions On

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

We revisit Tracy’s unveiling of the clown picture. Tracy realizes that Larry wasn’t around during the fire drill. That’s because he was busy stealing the painting. He kisses it, and says that when Tracy tries to screw him out of a deal, she just ends up screwing herself. I’m not feeling the new Larry, and wish they’d bring back the previous actor.

Jake sees Franco at the hospital, and asks if he’s back to work. Franco says not yet, and finds out that Jake is there to see Andre. Franco shows him a picture of the latest drawing on the timeline, and asks if he knows how it got into his studio.

At the docks, Jason tells Sam that Julian is desperate to get out of town. Sam wonders what Julian would do to Alexis if she ran into him. Well…

Alexis and Julian are getting busy.

Tracy says every time Larry darkens her doorstep, she has to pay, and he’s not getting away with it. The others agree, and split up to look for Larry.

Jake insists he didn’t draw on the timeline, and it must have been one of his brothers. Franco wonders which one could have gotten into his studio. He asks who Jake thinks the boy in the picture is, and he says he doesn’t know. Franco asks if there’s anything he wants to talk about. Jake tells him not to tell anyone, especially his parents. Elizabeth comes up the stairs, telling Jake not to run off like that.

Jason finds Hooper on the docks. He says that he and Sam have some questions.

Alexis tells Julian that when she turned around on the bridge, he was gone. He says Olivia-J shot him, but even though it bled a lot, it wasn’t serious. He was the phantom stalking her, and apologizes for scaring her. She says she read the letter. He wishes he hadn’t taken so long to tell her the truth. He tells her that he’s sorry. She says she thought he was gone. He says he’s here now, and he’s never going to leave her.

On the grounds of the Quartermaine estate, Larry talks to someone on the phone about storing the painting. He literally runs into a strange girl, and drops it. It’s the girl from the monastery, and he asks who she is. Ned, Laura, and Dillon run up. Larry blames the girl for stealing the painting, but they don’t buy it. Ned grabs Larry, and the painting, and gives him the bum’s rush back to the house.

Laura thanks the girl for stopping Larry. She introduces herself as Samira Adine, and Laura asks what brought her there. She’s there to see Tracy.

Tracy tells Larry he’s despicable. Larry says that he at least deserves a finder’s fee, and Tracy says he’s lucky she’s not calling the police. Tracy says where were we, and Monica says hogging the happy couple’s spotlight. Tracy unveils the real painting. She says it was painted by a renaissance painter, and Monica apologizes, saying it’s beautiful. Ned says the resemblance is striking. He tells Tracy that her father loved her.

Elizabeth tells Jake that he’s not in trouble, but Andre is waiting for him, and he leaves. She tells Franco she doesn’t know if she’s doing the right thing. Whenever she tries to get Jake to open up about the island, he pulls away. She’d feel less useless as a mother if she knew what she was doing was right. Franco shows her the picture of the timeline and what Jake added.

Hooper tells Sam and Jason that if he sells out clients, he’s out of business. Jason says if Sonny gets mad, he’ll be out of business. Sam tells him that they’re good friends with Sonny, and asks why he was meeting Julian.

Alexis thought Hooper was helping Julian, and Julian says that was the plan. He wondered what she’d do if she found out he was alive, and now he knows. He thought they might still have a future. She tells him that he can’t stay in Port Charles. He suggests running away together. They’ll get word back eventually, and the kids will understand. They can start over. No right side or wrong side; just the two of them together. Alexis says he misunderstood what happened tonight. It’s not a fresh start. It’s good-by.

Hooper tells Jason and Sam that Julian never showed up. Sam asks if there was a woman with Julian when Hooper met with him, but Hooper says no. He tells them that if Julian makes contact, he’ll call. He leaves, and Jason tells Sam that if Alexis went with him, it was probably willingly.

Alexis says she understands why Julian has to disappear, but she’s not going. He says they love each other, and she says he held a knife to her throat. I hate when that happens. It’s such a buzzkill.  Julian says it’s the biggest regret of his life, and she knows why he did it. Alexis says that she knows how she felt, and can’t get past it. She says it’s not just about Olivia-J forcing him to do her bidding; it’s what he did before that. She asks if it was his intention to hurt Duke and Carrrlos. Julian says he loves her, and she tells him it doesn’t mean anything; there are two sides to him. He tells her that they both would stand by her, which is a pretty clever comeback. She says it’s only a matter of time before someone else gets hurt, and she’s not doing it. He says it wasn’t all bad, and she says it wasn’t, but it was built on the hope that the better side of him would win. He asks about tonight. She says she just wanted to remember. He promises it can always be like that, but she says he can’t promise that. She needs closure, and needs him to give it to her.

Tracy tells Ned to get Larry out. Tracy asks Monica if she can replace the wall-hanging now, but Monica thinks the painting should go in the front hall. Laura and Samira come in, and Ned says Samira is the one who caught Larry. Samira says she’s traveled a long way from Turkey to see Tracy. Tracy wonders how Samira tracked her down, and Samira says the monks gave her the information. The painting has to be returned. Tracy says she explained everything to the monks, and she’s willing to make another donation, but she’s not parting with the painting. Samira says her daughter’s life depends on it.

Franco tells Elizabeth what Jake said about the timeline. She says it’s obviously something he witnessed. Franco isn’t sure if it’s literal. Elizabeth thanks him, and says she’ll talk to Andre. Jake sees them hugging. Franco has the phone in his hand, and Jake asks if he showed Elizabeth his picture. Franco says she needs to know, and Jake runs away.

Sam tells Jason that she doesn’t think finding the scarf is an accident, and isn’t going to allow history to keep repeating. The only way to keep Julian away is to find him and send him to prison. Sam remembers an app she has that tracks down friends, and finds Alexis’s location. She says they have to call the police.

Julian tells Alexis that the only life worth living is one with her in it. She says she wishes she could say the same thing. Her feelings re powerful, and he caused so much heartache. She doesn’t want any more pain, and it’s the only place this will lead. He says he loves her, and he’ll honor her wishes. He’s leaving town, and he’ll never see her again. He asks her to just give him tonight, and they start getting busy again.

Larry tells Ned that all’s right with the world. Ned says hardly. Larry swiped the painting like it was a piece of jewelry he could pawn. Larry suggests they not discuss it in mixed company, since Olivia-F is with Ned. Ned says Olivia is his family, which is more than he can say for Larry. Larry wants to let bygones be bygones. He says Tracy will forget about it; she’s used to his schemes, and it’s no reason to kick him out. Ned says he’s no longer welcome, and he’s disinvited to the wedding. Larry says he’s not going anywhere, and sooner or later Ned will miss him. Ned doubts it.

Tracy asks Samira for ID. She says it looks correct, but could have been forged. Laura looks at the emergency visa. She notes that it’s for Virginia. Samira explains that some refugees helped her. She tells them about men kidnapping her daughter. Dillon thinks it sounds like human trafficking. Laura realizes that Samira was the one who was crying at the monastery. Samira says that she went to the monks for help, and they wanted to use the painting to bargain.

Dillon wants Tracy to give her the painting. Tracy wants to think about it because she’s hesitant to believe the story. Monica says if the monks believe the story, maybe they can just give them the money. Tracy says they could all end up in jail. Samira says if she took the painting, no money would change hands.

Ned tells Olivia-F that he wonders how he sprang from the same gene pool as Larry. She says good parenting has nothing to do with DNA, and he proves that with Leo. Ned says with Julian gone, he wants to be there for Leo. He asks if the offer is still on the table to adopt Leo. It is.

Alexis has to leave. Julian tells her to take care of Sam and Lucas, and to take care of herself. A lot of people love her, and if she wants a drink, call them. She tells him to be careful. They’re about to kiss, and the police bust in, along with Jason and Sam.

Tracy says that customs knows she has the painting. If it ends up as currency, she’ll get in trouble. She suggests Laura get ahold of Robert, and find out the details. Monica says they’ll get some food and make up a room for Samira. Laura says she’ll call Robert, but she thinks Samira is telling the truth, and Tracy might be the only one who can help.

Elizabeth and Franco can’t find Jake. Elizabeth says this is how it started. Franco tells her to check Andre’s office. He sees sneakers next to a cart, and finds Jake hiding. Jake tells him to go away. Franco says he gets it; he wouldn’t want to talk to him either, but his mom is worried. Jake doesn’t want them knowing anything else about the scarecrow.

Julian says Alexis is his hostage. BTW, this place is called the Rendezvous Motel. Very classy. Julian is arrested. He and Alexis stare at each other.

Samira asks Tracy to believe her. Tracy says painting means a lot to her. Samira shows her a journal and a ring. Tracy says her father had a ring like this. She opens the journal, and sees Edward’s handwriting. She finds a picture of Lila. She asks where Samira got this. Samira says she got them from her mother. Tracy’s father left them to her, as they’d been friends. She says she’s telling the truth. Monica takes her upstairs.

Tracy talks to the painting like it’s Edward. She says, she has blue eyes, and not to do this to her.

Tomorrow, Hayden can’t make any promises, Tracy isn’t giving up her father’s legacy, and Michael tells Sonny to leave Port Charles.

If Loving You is Wrong

Kelly finds out that Justice is in the car with Travis. She tells her assistant to call the police. Doesn’t that kid have a GPS on his phone? Kelly wants to talk to Travis, who tells her it’s illegal to talk on the phone and drive. She asks where he’s taking Justice, but he pretends like he can’t hear her. He tells her he’s hanging up, and that Justice loves her.

Kelly gets on the phone with Officer Rick. She tells him that Travis has her son. Rick takes down whatever information she has, which isn’t much. He gives another officer the phone number, and has him run a trace on Justice’s phone. Kelly keeps repeating, “Why is he doing this?”

Rick puts an APB out on Travis’s car. Esperanza asks what’s going on. Kelly calls her and tells her about Travis taking Justice. Esperanza says she’ll call her back. I don’t blame Esperanza for being frustrated all the time when she has to find out what emergencies are going on from neighbors. Kelly tries to get Justice back on the phone, but gets voicemail. Justice asks Travis where they are. Kelly tries calling him, but call, rinse, repeat.

Brad pretends to work. Eddie strolls in. He asks if Alex told him what happened before he got there. Brad says no, and Eddie says he has to hear it. He tells Brad about finding Alex with Andrew, and how she took off in the squad car. He claims he did everything he could to stop her. He wonders why Brad saved the baby, and Brad says it’s an innocent baby. Eddie says it’s a disgrace to him. He can’t figure out what’s going on, and Brad says that’s because he doesn’t have a heart. Eddie says Brad is his best friend and he can help him. They have Alex where they want her. If he spills the beans, she’ll go to jail. Brad can make her do anything he wants. Brad says he’s had enough. Eddie tells him it’s no time to get soft, but Brad says he’s done with it. He tells Eddie that Alex has suffered enough, and he’s done. Eddie says what about Brad’s suffering, and Brad tells him to leave. Eddie says he’ll go, but the soldier he knew wouldn’t let himself become a mockery. When his best friend comes back, call, but until then, he’s out.

Marcie brings flowers to Louise. She asks what the doctor said, and Louise says she’s under observation. Marcie wants Louise out of there, and Louise wants out too. They hug, and Louise thinks Marcie has a temperature. Marcie says she’s fine. They talk about Randal. Marcie says she stayed as far away as possible, but Louise says her heart didn’t. Marci calls Randal a bully, and says she wants nothing to do with him. She can love and worry about him, but not like him.

She starts to tell Louise something, and Randal comes in. He tells Louise how angry he is with Alex. Louise tells him to say hello to Marcie. Marcie wants to go; she says she can’t breathe. He asks if she’s sucking all the air out of Brad, and she says every chance she gets. She tells Louise she’ll be back. Randal calls her a slut, and she says she’s using the tricks he taught her. She leaves, and Louise tries to chastise Randal, but he doesn’t want to hear it.

Randal tells Louise that Alex said the child wasn’t his. Louise asks if he’s sure it is. Randal says Alex told the judge that she had multiple partners. Louise says, chalk one up for the white girl. Ha-ha! She says if a woman will cheat on her husband, why wouldn’t she cheat on her boyfriend? Randal insists it was only him, and that’s his son. Louise tells him that Alex let her see the baby, and tells Randal about talking to Alex. She says he could be Randal’s son, and Randal says no way he’s not. Louise thinks it’s foolish and naïve for Randal to think he’s the only one. He says the only other Black man that Alex knows is the mailman. Louise says it wouldn’t be the first time a housewife hooked up with a mailman, and Randal says he’s like, 200 years old.

Randal asks what Marcie wanted, and Louise says he ran her out before she could say. He asks if he can get Louise anything. She says peace, quiet, and time alone. She tells Randal he wears her out, and to go home. She tells him to check on the mailman. Ha-ha! I love Louise.

Diane shows up at Kelly’s office while she’s on the phone. Kelly says now is not the time. Diane wonders how she’s working around money, considering her past, and asks if they know her background. Kelly says she can’t afford to lose her job, and Diane suggests they talk then. Kelly asks Diane what she wants. Diane wants a key, since her son is getting out soon. Kelly says she needs time to talk to her son and explain things. Diane offers to talk to him, and Kelly wigs out a little bit. Diane asks if Kelly knows what it’s like to not know where her son is and what he’s doing. Kelly says more than Diane knows. Diane asks if Kelly understands about a mother wanting to protect her son. She wants the key. Kelly gives it to her.

Joey wants out of the hospital. Natalie is surprised he hasn’t been kicked out, but doesn’t think he’s ready to go. She says he’s barely walking, and will need rehab. He says he can walk and she asks him to show her. He can’t, and she says he’s not some superhero. He says he will be getting out. Natalie tells him that he has physical therapy today.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s Mr. Kim. Joey asks about Faun, and he says she’s home and healing. Natalie says she knows he’s upset that they were together, but he says he’s not. He thanks Joey for saving her life. He says if Joey hadn’t had a gun, he doesn’t know what would have happened. He owes Joey. Joey says another guy is dead because of him. Mr., Kim offers Joey his job back, and leaves them to their family time.

Joey says that was crazy. Natalie says she’ll be back. She sees Mr. Kim in the hallway. She asks if he paid Joey’s hospital bills. He didn’t, and she’s wondering why they’re letting Joey stay there when they have no insurance. Mr. Kim is surprised they don’t have any, because he’s under the mistaken impression that it’s actually affordable. Natalie goes back into Joey’s room, and Joey asks what she said to Mr. Kim. She’s saved by the phone ringing. Lushion says he needs her help. He tells her to come to the house. She says she’s on her way. She tells Joey to try to walk.

Alex burns dinner. She tells the kids she’ll take them out. They ask how they’re getting there, and she says she’ll call a cab. Peter asks where the car is, and she says she had an accident. Paisley asks about the baby, and she tells them to stop asking questions. She apologizes for being snippy. Paisley asks if she’s okay. She tells them to get ready, and tells Peter to ask Kelly if she can borrow her car. The kids go upstairs, and Alex cries.

Lushion stops by and asks if he can borrow candles. Alex invites him in, and creepy Randal watches from his porch. Lushion asks if everything is okay, and Alex says she burned dinner. She looks for the candles and gives him some really nice ombre ones. He says he wants to surprise Natalie, and tells Alex not to let her know. He says it feels good to borrow from neighbors. He says he knows what Alex is going through, and mentions Randal pressing charges. Alex asks if she can go to jail for what her parents did. Lushion says she had nothing to do with it…right? He asks if she saw Andrew, and she says he picked her up after she wrecked her car. Lushion asks if Andrew took her to her parents, but the kids come down and interrupt the conversation. Lushion says they can borrow his car, but Alex says they’ll just walk to the deli. Paisley says she doesn’t like deli food – like no kid ever said – and Alex says they’ll get some fresh air. Lushion thanks her and leaves. She follows with the kids. Creepy Randal is still in the same position he was when Lushion arrived, and quietly calls Alex a bitch.

Both Pete and Joey are in physical therapy. Pete is walking a little, and Joey says he needs a break. Pete introduces himself to Joey. They discover they were both shot. Pete says he was an innocent bystander, and Joey says he’s a cop in Maxine. Pete plays along, asking Joey how long he’s been a cop, and Joey says years. Pete ask if he was shot in the line of duty. Joey makes up a story, saying his back-up was late. Pete asks who it was and Joey says a guy named Lushion. He says Lushion is way too old to be a cop, and was probably out getting doughnuts. Pete asks what he called in when he got shot. Joey says 187 and even I know that’s incorrect. Pete points that out.

Some cops bust in to arrest Joey for violating probation. They drag him out of his chair, saying he can go to the prison hospital. Joey is yelling, and the doctor tries to intervene, but they cart Joey away.

Next time, Randal confronts Alex, Kelley’s ex says that he loves her, and Alex comes on to Randal, totally creeping me out.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Reunion Part Two

We just jump right in. Erika says she didn’t like the way PK asked if she’s for sale. He’s defensive of Dorit, but Erika says her beef is with him. Andy says she’d claimed to be over it, and LisaV suggests having a sense of humor. A viewer asks if LisaV has forgiven Erika for her accusing her of sniping from the sidelines, and we see a clip of Erika talking to someone who’s no longer on the show, it was so long ago. Lisa says she thought Erika was relaxed with her nudity, and we flash back to some flashes. Kyle says it wasn’t funny because Erika wasn’t in on the joke. A viewer suggests Kyle could have intervened, and Kyle says she told Dorit she didn’t think it would go well. She and LisaV get in a small argument. They both talk at once, so who knows what it’s about? Kyle tells Lisa not to turn things around, and that she wasn’t there.

LisaR asks why Dorit doesn’t just apologize. Because LisaR only listens to herself. Dorit has apologized over and over. Andy says he was surprised that Erika didn’t tell Tom right away, and asks how she approached him about it. She says she explained how the story was going to pan out, and he gets it, which doesn’t surprise me in the least. Erika implies that Dorit drug her through the mud. Andy asks PK how he felt about LisaR asking if Dorit trusted him, but he just rolled with it. Lisa says she’s sorry for that. PK apologizes for the joke he made, but says he doesn’t owe an apology to Tom.

Dorit says she doesn’t know how many times she can say sorry. Erika says she wasn’t the one who wouldn’t let it go. Dorit says everyone was still joking about it. She points out that Andy just did when they sat down. PK says he’s heard all their insults, and all he did was make a bad joke. Please, PK, don’t say it’s not like you killed her child.

Since he can’t leave it alone, Andy brings up PK saying that Erika should concentrate on the deep-rooted problems in her marriage. Erika says he doesn’t even know her, but LisaR keeps interjecting, and PK says he seems to be discussing Erika with Lisa. Lisa says that he claimed she was unhinged and maybe had a drug problem. He says his first experience with her was at a dinner he thought went fabulous, and he can’t believe she could leave such a great evening, then say there were bad intentions. Lisa deflects, saying that Dorit didn’t remember the conversation they had about Eileen’s father passing away. Huh? Andy interjects, asking why Lisa said that the people at dinner left to “blow some rails.” I guess he thinks he sounds hip. Lisa says she’d gotten to a point that she’d had it with the Xanax thing. Dorit says she never said Lisa had a problem, but Lisa went after her with a preposterous accusation. PK says he’s never done coke, and the suggestion was ridiculous. LisaV says it’s a damaging thing to say, and thinks it was just retaliation. LisaR insists that’s what she observed. PK says you don’t have to be honest, if it’s not factual, which is another way of saying what I always do, that these women tend to hide their animosity behind the guise of honesty. Andy says fake news is all the rage. Because he’s so Andy.

LisaR talks about the inappropriate stuff said by PK after the confrontation at LisaV’s party, and that he should have let it go. PK admits that they were being naughty. Dorit came back distraught, and he felt that the mean girls had bullied his wife. His emotions were running high, and he’d had a few drinks. I’m with him here. Both he and Ken were inappropriate, but they were just letting off steam privately. LisaR says if she’d said something, it would be different, and PK says that she’s said a million things that she’s apologized for. There’s no question that he was upset. He says that he did walk away from the confrontation, because none of the other husbands were there, and Dorit says Erika is the one who invited him into the conversation.

PK tells Erika she’s not nice, and she tells him to get the f out of here. She says it’s easy to apologize in hindsight, and it’s fine. Andy asks if it really is, and she says they have to start over and they’ll see.

We see a montage of the Beverly Hills double air kiss greeting, which is also a chance to look over some past fashion. Kyle says she was sometimes embarrassed by the hellos. We see the various careers and projects the women have going on. Erika hits the nail on the head saying, busy girls. They talk about Erika performing at Christina Aguilera’s birthday party. Everyone promotes their whatever. We find out Kyle’s show was picked up, but she won’t be on it personally. Erika is also coming back to The Young and the Restless. Erika was partly named after Erika Kane from All My Children, and we see part of a talk show interview where she met Susan Lucci. Dorit talks about the many businesses that she and PK are involved with. She’s encouraged by the other women to continue with designing clothing, and having her own thing going apart from PK.

Kim and Eden join the group. We see a picture of Kim’s grandson, who’s wearing one of those terrycloth hoodies with animal ears and looks adorable. We also see a picture of Kim on a date with Donald Trump. Andy suggests Kim could have been the First Lady, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. We flash back to scenes with Eden. We see many awkward hugs. Even Eden has to laugh. She’s wearing some fabulous fringe earrings that I probably can’t afford, and explains about the long hugs breaking the introduction energy, and that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

LisaV talks about having known Vidal Sassoon, but says she’d never met Eden. I remember liking his jean brand. Eden has been busy on Twitter shading Kyle. Eden says in watching the show, she saw how mean Kyle was. Kyle asks her to put herself in her shoes. She thought they were cool, then Eden said she was cold and distant in her interview. She adds that Eden ambushed her with questions about alcoholism right off the bat.

Andy brings up Eden and LisaR becoming fast friends, and how that changed, and we see clips. Including the one where Lisa said that Kim was close to death. It’s all worth watching to see LisaV’s sparkly earrings when she told Kyle what Eden had said. Ooh, Eden’s ballerina outfit at LisaV’s party is pretty good too. Andy reads viewer questions. Eden explains that she was overwhelmed in meeting Kim, and couldn’t not stick her nose where it didn’t belong. She doesn’t say it quite like that, but that’s my translation. Andy asks what Eden thought was wrong, and Eden says she felt nervous energy. Kim suggests when she feels that, to respect people’s spaces. She says they could have been friends, but instead of going to the source, Eden just repeated what LisaR had said and badgered Kyle. Kim says that Eden shouldn’t have been taking her inventory, and Eden tells Kim not to tell her how to work a program. Well, if part of the program is not taking anyone else’s inventory, then Kim has a right to point that out.

Andy asks the million-dollar question – why the blip did LisaR say what she did about Kim not being sober and close to death? Kim suggests that she doesn’t remember. Lisa says it was after game night. We flash back to their tiff. Kim says that Lisa lies, cries, and denies, and that it was unbelievable to watch. She says that Lisa has a huge heart, and she does like being around her. Lisa says they’ve made amends since then, and have moved on. Kim has big hopes. Andy asks about the bunny that Lisa gifted Kim’s grandson with. Here’s where it gets confusing.

Kim has brought said bunny, still in the wrapper. She didn’t give it to her grandson, because she didn’t feel that it had good energy. She gives it back to LisaR, and tells her when she’s in a better place, maybe she can give it back to her. This is the stupidest, meanest thing ever. Kim says she’s all about energy and being positive. Eden asks if she wants a crystal for healing, and Kim says she is healed. Kim says that Lisa might be better off giving it to someone else. Lisa starts crying, and Eileen wonders why Kim chose to do this at the reunion. Kim says she doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not with LisaR. Andy asks Lisa what she’s thinking. She says she doesn’t need to say anything; she gets it loud and clear. Andy is confused, since he thought they were in a good place, but Kim says she doesn’t know if she’s ready to be Lisa’s friend. Lisa says it’s okay. She’s forgiven herself, and she’s okay with that. Kyle interjects that Kim is like that, but she sees why Lisa feels badly. Lisa says Harry thought it was a good idea to give Kim the gift, even though she had second thoughts. Kim says maybe it’s good that she feels badly, since she hurt Kim.

LisaR says she has to leave the stage for a moment. Eileen follows. Eileen says that it was a calculated move, trying to demean and hurt Lisa, when Lisa was just being nice. Lisa says she’s good because she has a good life. They regroup.

Dorit says it’s not like LisaR is just the victim. Kyle tells Kim to go back and explain to LisaR how superstitious she is. Yeah. More like yearning for attention. LisaR is an idiot, but this is nasty.

Eileen says it just shows where she’s at, and LisaR says Kim showed her true colors.

Kim goes backstage with the bunny. It’s like some bizarro world version of Fatal Attraction.

Next time – the Reunion, part three – Dorit tells LisaR she has a big mouth, the bag of pills is revealed, and Kim accuses Eileen of making faces (like no one else does that). If anyone deserve a four-part reunion, it’s these girls, but I think that three is it with this one.

 

 

 

April 17, 2017 – A Painting Vanishes, an Auction is Silent, a Reunion Ends & Tubbers is Celebrated

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis tells Sam that she thought she was losing her mind, but she wasn’t. Sam wonders why Julian doesn’t just come forward, and Jason says he’s facing criminal charges. Jason is going to hunt him down.

Dillon takes pictures of the happy couple at the engagement party. Ned and Olivia kiss.

Tracy has put the covered painting on an easel in the den. Monica says she’ll have it removed later. Laura pops in, thanking Monica for the invitation. She wonders if they could mix hospital business with pleasure. Larry sees the mysterious masterpiece. He calls it their acquisition, because without him, Tracy wouldn’t have known about it. He thinks he should get 50% of the value, but Tracy says it was left to her by her father, and has nothing to do with him. He asks about a finder’s fee, and she says he’s drinking it.

Carly tells Sonny to leave or she’s calling the police. He says from what Michael said, Jax might be uncomfortable with that. Jax says he’s not proud of what he did, but doesn’t regret it. Carly says that Sonny would have done the same thing. Sonny says he would, but it’s what came after that’s the problem. Jax left them like sitting ducks for Nelle. Let’s just say it right now – isn’t that what Sonny did? Carly says that Jax had no reason to think Nelle had an ulterior motive, but Sonny did. Sonny says it was hard enough thinking he was responsible for Morgan’s death, but Jax could have avoided the outcome with Nelle. Carly says he’s blaming Jax. Jax made a mistake and should have told her, but the rest is on Sonny, and he’s blaming someone else. She tells Sonny he has to live with it. Dante knocks on the door looking for Sonny. Carly tells Sonny to do everyone a favor and leave with him.

Dante says he was hoping Michael was wrong about Sonny being there. Sonny talks smack about Jax. Jax tells Dante about buying the kidney, saying that he didn’t know Frank would hit up his own daughter for it, but even if he had known, he would have gone through with it. He would have done anything to save Josslyn. Sonny says he was going to use it as leverage, but since Dante is there, it’s time for Jax to pay up, and he’s recorded it. Dante wishes he could ignore it, but he can’t.

Ned thanks Tracy and Monica for the party. Olivia has brought bruschetta. Tracy is like, you brought food to a Quartermaine party? She says Cook will be insulted, thinking hers isn’t good enough. Larry says he’ll present it to Cook. Tracy says good luck, and Monica says they’re a special couple.

Tracy wants to unveil the painting. Monica balks, and Tracy says it could be a Picasso or Manet for all she knows. Monica asks if it is, and Tracy says no, but it’s a precious family heirloom. A smoke alarm goes off. Yeah, I see where this is headed.

Sam is concerned about Alexis being by herself. She says she’s seen Julian break Alexis. Alexis says Julian is her father, but Sam says not to use her for an excuse. Alexis says if Julian was going to hurt her, he would have done it. Jason wants to call Sonny, but Alexis says she’ll take care of it. Sam asks what If he shows up, and Alexis says she’ll cross bridge when she comes to it. Jason tells Sam he has an idea.

Julian hangs out at the docks looking stupid in a hoodie. One obviously not purchased from Zumiez.

The fire alarm continues, and Tracy says it’s Olivia’s fault. Cook probably set a fire in protest. They all leave to check things out, since no one smells smoke. Jason and Sam walk into the house, and the alarm stops. Sam says they need to see Dillon. Jason shows him the picture from the park, and Sam says it’s Julian, alive and well.

Julian looks at the picture he swiped from the album – he and Alexis in a red carpet moment. He flashes back to when they last got married.

Sonny asks Michael if he sent Dante over. Michael says that he didn’t want Sonny to do anything he’d regret. Sonny says they’re all adults who have to live with the consequences of their actions, even Jax. Michael asks what he did.

Dante says as much as he agrees with Jax’s motives, he has to arrest him. Josslyn walks in, and asks what Dante is doing to her father.

Sonny tells Michael that he confronted Jax. He admits he would have done the same thing in Jax’s place, but the difference is, he would have said something. Instead, Jax went back to Australia. No comment. Michael says that Jax didn’t perceive her as a threat. Sonny tells him not to make excuses. He tells Michael about getting the recording and giving it to Dante. Michael asks if he’s out of his mind.

Carly tells Josslyn that her dad is going to be fine. Dante says he won’t cuff him, but he has to come in. Josslyn asks if he’s under arrest, and Dante lets Jax talk to her. Jax tells her that he’s the one who arranged for her to get Nelle’s kidney. They weren’t sure if she was going to make it, so he did something illegal. He offered Nelle’s father money to help find a donor, and it’s his fault she came to town looking for revenge. Josslyn says because of him, she’s alive.

Julian meets a guy with tattoos on the docks who says it’s all arranged.

Dillon brings down his laptop and they look at photos from the park. They see another one where Julian is giving an envelope to a guy. Sam says the tattoo seems familiar, and remembers Hooper who has boats for hire, usually for illegal purposes.

Alexis wanders around the docks because that’s the place to be in Port Charles. She flashes back to the aftermath of the wedding, and Julian saying he loves her.

Dante says they have to go. Jax tells Josslyn it will be fine. He says he broke the law and told himself if it ever came out, he wouldn’t run. He tells Carly he’s sorry. She tells him he has nothing to apologize for, and thanks him for saving Josslyn’s life. Josslyn tells Dante that he knows it’s not right. Carly says she knows Josslyn is hurting, but her father has to go with Dante. Jax tells her not to be scared. He leaves with Dante.

Sonny tells Michael that he doubts it will go to trial. If Jax spends two days in jail, he’ll be surprised. Michael asks what if he’s wrong. and he send Josslyn’s father to prison for saving her life? I see we now have idiot Sonny totally back again.

Dillon gives Jason a printout the picture. He tells Kiki it’s just another night in Port Charles. Not yet if they haven’t been to the docks. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she’d like several. Larry asks where everyone has been. Tracy explains about the fire alarm, but he says he was out walking the grounds and didn’t hear it. Ned asks about Cook, and Larry says she wants Olivia’s recipe. Monica toasts to Olivia joining the family. She says Olivia is going to breathe new life into the house, and make it into a home again. Tracy is snarky, and Monica says she got the same treatment. Tracy says to be fair, Monica did sleep with her husband’s nephew. Everyone is like, eww! and Monica asks if they can focus on the here and now. She asks if Ned and Olivia would like the west wing. If not, Tracy can move out of the east wing. Tracy protests, and Monica reminds her that the deed is in her name. Tracy says there’s something she’d like to do with the deed, and Monica suggests it’s the same thing she wants to do with the easel.

Alexis lingers at the docks. She remembers Julian holding a knife to her throat. Julian appears. For real.  I think.

Josslyn asks Carly what’s going to happen, and Carly explains. She says that Jax’s lawyer will make arrangements for bail. Josslyn asks why Dante was there, and Carly says Michael called him, but it’s complicated. She says she and Sonny have been fighting, and sometimes when Sonny gets angry, he doesn’t make the best decisions. She’s sorry she let everything get out of control, but Josslyn says not to apologize for Sonny. She hopes Carly sees the truth and never goes back to him.

Michael thought Dante could get through to Sonny, but didn’t think Sonny would have Jax arrested. He says he doesn’t care what Jax did, Sonny should have covered for him. He reminds Sonny about all the times Carly covered for him, and he committed crimes; he didn’t save a life. He chose the wrong way to hurt them. He tells Sonny that he’d better pray he can clean it up, because if Jax goes to prison, no one is going to forgive him. The cheese Sonny stands alone yet again.

Jax is sorry that Dante got dragged in. Dante wonders where the justice is. Jax crossed the line to save his daughter’s life, and he understands, but the line exists for a reason. Jax realizes that if it didn’t, the poor people would be at a disadvantage. He says that those are the questions he asks himself. Did his actions keep another child from being saved? Probably not. I doubt Frank would have just decided to sell Nelle’s kidney all on his own.

Tracy asks what the painting has done to Monica, and Monica says it’s the owner. Ned and Dillon think it has something to do with Luke. Monica says the only time Tracy was really happy was with him. Tracy points out that Laura is sitting there, but Laura says she and Luke are ancient history. Tracy suggests changing the subject, and says she’s happy for Ned and Olivia. Her son is happy, and it’s all a parent wants for their children. She thanks Olivia. Olivia says she’s honored to be joining the family, and Tracy says, perfect segue.

Tracy tells everyone that she took a journey with a dear friend and found a treasure – a letter from her father that spoke of his love for her. Monica says it must have meant a lot. Tracy tells her that it did, and he left her something else as a tangible expression of his devotion to her. He wanted her to have a portrait, passed down through ages, that bears an uncanny resemblance to her. She lifts the cover off of the portrait, and in its place is a clown painting on velvet. Like we didn’t see that coming.

Sam and Jason go to the docks. Jason says there’s no sign of anything, and Sam suggests that Julian is halfway to Canada by now. She sees Alexis’s scarf on the ground and picks it up.

Tomorrow, Larry has the painting (no surprise), the crying girl from the monastery is looking for Tracy, and Julian and Alexis get busy.

Southern Charm

I might not like Cameran (our narrator) all that much, but I sure do like her gigantic earrings.

At the Ravenel Construction Group, we see Thomas actually doing some work. Cameran is at the gym with Chelsea. She says that she lives off of gas station food, and wants to take charge of her health. She tells Chelsea that she heard she and Shep had an overnight. Chelsea says they didn’t get nakey, but Cameran has hope. She tells Chelsea to make him work for it, and Chelsea says right now, things are just PG.

Landon (blech!) meets Craig for lunch. Craig is doing media inserts for a charity that his girlfriend got him involved with. His goal is to be a philanthropist and not have to work anymore. Good luck with that. Or as they say in the South, bless your heart. Naomie calls, and asks if he’s finished everything. She’s picking up donations, and headed to Shep’s place. Craig tells Landon that Shep is going out of town for a wedding, and can’t make it to the upcoming polo match.

Shep gives Naomie his donation. The fundraiser is for the people of Haiti, and Shep wonders if Craig even knows where that is.

He knows where the good shrimp are though. His lunch looks fantastic.

Naomie asks Shep what happened at Landon’s website launch. He says he hoped he gave her constructive criticism. Naomie asks if he made her cry. Shep tells her that sometimes Landon gets ahead of herself and needs to be knocked down a peg. I thought he was very diplomatic and gave her good advice.

Craig tells Landon it wasn’t Shep’s place to tell her that stuff, and Landon thinks he was being a bully. Craig says when Shep lectured him, he felt like he was on the playground in sixth grade. He was definitely harsher with Craig, but even though I didn’t entirely agree with what he said, I thought it was out of concern.

Naomie says part of her is like, f-u to Shep, but in his interview, Shep says friendship means sometimes telling someone what they don’t want to hear. Probably the other part of Naomie knows that’s true. Shep asks what he should do, just let his friends get more delusional?

Whitney exercises pug Chauncey, while Patricia packs a suitcase without Michael, who’s on vacation. She says you can never be undereducated or underdressed according to Oscar Wilde. Whitney tells her that he’ll hold down the fort. He tells Patricia that Chauncey needs Jenny Craig, and she wonders if she should invent Spanx for dogs.

Kathryn has an appointment with a modeling scout. She’s modeled in the past, and wants to get back in the game. The scout asks for pictures, but Kathryn says she needs to update her portfolio. Using her tablet, she shows the scout a bunch of photos from back in the day. She says Kathryn is older now, and will be in a different bracket. She needs new photos, and the scout encourages her to get in the best shape that she can. She also suggests Kathryn doing a shoot with her children, because agencies are looking for the family thing. In her interview, Kathryn says this is the ultimate punch in the gut, since she can’t even see the kids right now.

Thomas practices saluting Landon in the mirror. In his interview, he says had he pursued someone more mature than Kathryn, his life might be different. He hopes it isn’t too late. Landon arrives, and Thomas makes drinks. Landon says she hasn’t been at his house since the night he kicked them all out. We flash back to that. Best. Night. Ever. Thomas suggests sitting on the porch.

Landon says it was good to hear from him. Thomas tells her that he wants to do an event at the plantation, and he’d like her input. He also wants to catch up. She says with the rumor mill churning, she didn’t even want to be around him in public. She thinks the dust has settled now, and they can be friends and do things together again. In her interview, she says the only thing she’s after is companionship. She asks about Kathryn, and Thomas says she passed her drug test so she can have supervised visits. He says what he does with his personal life is none of her business. In his interview, he says he’d like to have a stepmother for his children. He tells Landon that he’s looking for a woman with a pleasant personality, and says she has no problem in that department. She laughs like a hyena. Thomas clearly has a different definition of pleasant than I do.

Naomie tells Craig that he’d do better in life if he got things done ahead of time. He tells her that he works better under stress – a favorite excuse of procrastinators – and not to take it personally. In his interview, he says he’s able to reason worry out of his brain, so he doesn’t get stressed. Oh brother. Although he’ll probably live longer than most of us. In the car, Naomie tells him about her conversation with Shep, and that she felt they behaved like adults, and understood where the other one was coming from. Craig says Shep is manipulative, like an abusive husband. He doesn’t think Shep making Landon cry was acceptable either. He says Shep is out of control. Huh?

The guys meet at a bar. They run into Thomas’s neighbor, who Shep has also hooked up with. Thomas says there’s a lot of cross-pollination in Charleston. She and Thomas are also cousins. And Thomas is also related to Shep. Now it’s getting creepy. Shep apologizes for not being able to make the polo match. He asks who’s planning it, and Thomas tells him Landon is, since she’s good at planning parties. Thomas thinks Shep is in love with her, and Shep nearly chokes. He says he’s forgotten more than Thomas has gotten, and is definitely not looking for a relationship.

They move on to another bar, where a female patron is having her 21st birthday party. Shep and Austen chat with her. Both Daisy and Whitney show up, and another girl named Bree, who just broke up with her boyfriend. In his interview, Austen says that he’s open to finding the right girl, but Shep, not so much. Bree takes Daisy to find some “real men” at the bar. I’m not sure what she means, but she’s flirting with Thomas. Did she mean old guys? From a distance, it looks like Thomas blows her off, and Whitney is like, wise choice.

Naomie and Craig get last minute preparations together for the fundraiser. Craig unrolls the background for the entrance. Naomie is in a really cute bathrobe with animal ears on the hood. Craig is digging around for a laptop mouse, and Naomi has to jet. Hey, there’s the cat. Maybe he can help Craig find the mouse. I had to.

Cameran, in another pair of incredible, HUGE earrings, visits Whitney. Whitney tries to get the dogs under control, and in her interview, she says when Michael is away, everyone has to fend for themselves, and it’s crazy. She tells Whitney that he’s like Kevin from Home Alone. Thomas calls. Whitney asks what was up with Daisy. Thomas says he doesn’t know, but he has to find a real woman. Cameran and Whitney agree. Cameran asks if he’s coming to Naomie’s fundraiser, but he doesn’t want any clashes with Kathryn. Whitney hangs up, and Cameran says Thomas has seen the light, and is on an upward projectory. I’m not even sure that’s a word.

Whatever Craig needs to print isn’t happening, and it’s 45 minutes until the fundraiser. It’s something for the silent auction, and Naomie is getting pretty nervous. Craig works on his hairdo, and talks to the cat.

Craig gets to the bar, and tells Naomie everything is fine. She looks through the bags, and says they’re missing some sheets, and she wants him to get them printed now. He complains that he’s the one getting screwed, and Naomie tells him he’s screwing himself, and not to blame other people. Yep. She looks at him like a fixer-upper, and that’s never a good idea.

Naomie has to hand write some things, which annoys her. In her interview, she says they have different planning styles. That’s one way to put it. She says everything always works out because there’s always someone to pick up the slack. She tells Craig that they’re cool.

Naomi’s parents are French, so the three of them throw shade at Craig in their native language. Her mother tells her all men are the same. Ha-ha! Everyone is drinking and having a good time. Landon’s friend tells her that she’s glad Shep isn’t there, since he made Landon cry. Landon says she doesn’t think he even has a real job. This is so stupid. It’s not even like she did cry over it. She didn’t listen to one thing he said, got mad, and stormed out. Everyone must tiptoe around this girl.

Whitney tells Cameran that Shep and Chelsea hooked up, claiming that Shep told him. Cameran isn’t too sure if Whitney is telling her the truth, since he’s a sick freak. She tells Chelsea what Whitney said, and Chelsea says Cameran knows she’d tell her. Whitney calls Shep, who denies saying anything of the sort. Whitney tells Cameran she looks hammered. Cameran thinks it’s time to go home.

Naomie talks to a friend of Craig’s from school who’s practicing law now. He says from the internet, it looks like Craig is a great gardener. Craig joins them, and says he thinks they went past their goal. He and Naomie love each other again.

Chelsea talks to Austen about his love life. She asks what he’s looking for in a woman, and he flirts, describing her. He asks for her number.

Next time, the polo match happens, Chelsea goes out with Austen, and Thomas won’t let Kathryn see the kids.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part Three

Andy grills Stassi about her dating life, and she says she feels like a loser. Andy thought things with Peter might get rekindled after their kiss. They talk about the bachelor/ bachelorette weekend in NOLA. Katie says she’d wanted harmony, but was under too much stress. Schwartz says the angst about Tom and Ariana was a surface trigger. Tom says blah-blah-blah, and Katie says the only one she’d take relationship advice from in this room is Lisa. Good choice.

We revisit Jax’s apology to Stassi. Stassi says it wasn’t so much the cheating, but how it trickled down to other things. She was thrilled to hear him finally own it. Andy asks Brittany how she felt, and she says it was hard for her to watch, when she wants the same thing from him. Jax says he’s a better person since he met Brittany. Once again, the shoemaker’s kids go barefoot.

Andy asks Schwartz if there was any moment when he wasn’t drinking during the bachelor/bachelorette weekend. Schwartz says he was browned out for 80% of the trip. Jax says he never saw Schwartz so upset, and was afraid Schwartz was going to hurt himself. James points out that this is coming from Jax. We see Schwartz getting emo during the gator watching trip. Ariana says it’s the last thing she expected. Jax is called out for trying to get Schwartz to postpone the wedding. Tom gets all loud, talking about how Katie was running the show all summer, and the girls were all bowing down to her. Somehow this leads to a discussion about who looked the best in drag.

Andy points out how Kristen chose that moment to sit Schwartz down for a talk about the Vegas girl from the past. Kristen says if it hadn’t been for her, they might never have addressed the issue, and I have to agree that she has a point. It really made all the difference, and totally turned everything around. Kristen and Tom get into a heated exchange. Tom talks about how Kristen cornered Schwartz. Stassi talks about waking up to two guys in drag arguing about looking like Sia. Andy talks about the roller-coaster ride of emotion that Schwartz went through, and we see the clip of Tom calling him a battered wife. Andy asks if it ruined his bachelor party, Schwartz says you’d think it would have, and I laugh.

Kristen says no one understood how Katie felt, and Katie concurs that it was devastating. Katie says it was up to her to put the pieces back together along with Schwartz. Schwartz says that he inherited a lot of baggage as well. Lisa thinks it was ridiculous how Jax tried to convince everyone that Schwartz had slept with the past Vegas girl, even though they weren’t there. Schwartz says he didn’t remember, but doubts anything could have happened. Katie says she can move past it, but it took a long time to repair the trust. She pushed a lot of feelings aside that were still there.

Lisa says she had no idea how bad it was until she saw the show, although she knew things weren’t going well. She says she was right in originally turning them down to officiate. It was difficult because she loves them, but she couldn’t give a potential disaster her blessing. We flash back to the arguments between Katie and Schwartz in Vegas. Lisa says they’d lost respect for each other, and she wanted them to understand the seriousness of the commitment. Katie says they didn’t know how to get it back, and Andy says it was amazing to watch the turnaround. Ariana proclaims that they were meant to be together, and she knew it was going to happen. Schwartz says they’re the only original couple left. Andy wonders who’s next to get married.

We discuss the wedding weekend — $51,000 later. Lisa says it wasn’t the way she rolls, but nothing about it was conventional, and it was who they are. We flash back to Schwartz’s surprise of his triplet brothers arriving. He says it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for him, and he was really surprised. It meant a lot to his brothers too.

Andy points out that Katie kept her cool when her dress wasn’t quite fitting, and Katie says it was the only time she second-guessed the Taco Tuesday themed rehearsal dinner. Andy asks if she’s happy to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz, and she corrects him that it’s Mrs. Bubba Maloney-Schwartz. Andy asks Lisa what was most emotional for her. She says Schwartz’s vows, and we flash back to that. Schwartz says he wrote the vows while the groomsmen were putting their suits on. We flash back to Tom using the dog as a hanky during the ceremony. Andy points out that even Jax got choked up, and Jax says how could you not? Well, I didn’t.

Tom and Ariana’s relationship is discussed. Ariana says he has all the feels, but she tends to retreat when he gets marriage-minded. Schwartz says it was one of the happiest days of his life, and he was happy to share it with everyone.

We move on to James’s DJ career. Andy reads a list of James’s woes, and we flash back to them. Jax was happy to get James thrown out of his gig. Kristen talks smack about James, and he tells her to shut up, telling her she’s irrelevant. She points out that he had a vodka/soda at lunch and he admits he did, but only one. Moving on.

Andy says Shay is going to join them, and Scheana gets a little weird about that. She says the break-up was for the best, but she doesn’t want to see him. During the break, Stassi tells Scheana that they have her back. Five…four…three…

Shay says he’s nervous. He’s living with his parents now, and we flash back to the wedding. He and Scheana haven’t seen each other in four months, and are still waiting for the divorce to be finalized. Andy asks if Scheana was consciously hiding their problems, and she says it was Katie’s wedding, and she didn’t want to bring her business into it. She starts to cry. She accuses Shay of lying to her about buying drugs. He denies it, and Scheana talks about him withdrawing money out of their account. He claims it was for the business, and says she always held the money over his head, since it was mostly hers.

Andy asks what happened when Shay decided not to come home the first time, and why he didn’t communicate. Shay says that Scheana doesn’t listen. Lisa says that even though she didn’t understand it, Scheana worshipped him, and her world revolved around him. Kristen says she saw Scheana trying hard, but it seemed like Shay had given up. Shay says he’d always been working toward something, and his band is going on tour with Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Jax says they’re both good people, but it just didn’t work. Shay looks all wistful. Ariana says she feels like she’s never really heard from him; he just ghosts. She doesn’t hear from him now either. He just gets all teary and looks at the ceiling.

Shay says they grew apart. He quit drinking for a year, but was expected to still go out. Scheana says he said it was fine, and he says later on it got difficult. Andy asks when things went south, and Scheana says that three months in, she found out about the pills. She says she also caught him texting another girl. Tom asks Shay why, and Shay says maybe it was more than friendship, but he found a connection that he didn’t have with Scheana. Both Scheana and Shay say they’re uncomfortable.

Andy asks if there was more than sexting going on, and Scheana says it turned into other issues like a lack of communication. Shay talks about her running to Lisa on camera about his addiction, and not talking to him first. Scheana says he hurt her, and she hurt him back. Shay says he wouldn’t have brought up his addiction issues on the show, and he was forced to tell everyone. He says he’s been labeled now. Scheana says she’s a “home-wrecking whore,” and that you get labeled, and that’s how it is. She’s right. This is what they signed up for. When Scheana talked to Lisa, it was obviously a difficult, spontaneous moment. Scheana says she wouldn’t have divorced him, and stayed in a marriage that wasn’t great. Shay says he went along with everything and wanted to keep trying, but she divorced him on camera. Scheana says that she found out he was buying pills and lying to her again, and she was done.

Evil Andy asks if Scheana having a new boyfriend bothers Shay. Shay thinks it’s quick, but Scheana says he knows him from Instagram, and she’s been friends with him for over ten years. We see pictures. He’s pretty cute, and looks like a grown-up. Andy asks if Shay is seeing anyone, and he says he’s still technically married. Scheana says it’s just a piece of paper at this point. Shay says he’ll always love her and be there for her, but he’s over their relationship. Coming there was something he had to do. It was harder than he thought, but he’s glad he did it. Andy asks if Scheana gets closure from Shay saying he loves her and will be there for her. She says she thinks he’s in his happy place, and she’s in her happy place, so she’s happy for him, but nobody looks very happy. Andy says he hopes they have some peace. Schwartz says that the both of them are happier apart than they would have been together. They say good-by, and wish each other good luck. Shay leaves the magic circle.

In our final moments, Andy commends James on his 18-hour day, sitting next to Jax. That is way too long. I’d read that the Housewives reunions are 12-hours, and I think that’s too much. He asks Lisa about opening the new bar, and asking Tom to be a part of it. Tom says he gets emotional thinking about it, and will someone stop this guy from crying already? We flash back to Schwartz wanting to duck and run when Lisa suggested including him. Schwartz says he didn’t want to tarnish Lisa’s name, and Katie says he doesn’t know his potential. Andy says if they don’t get their act together, it will end up Lala’s Lounge instead of Tom-Tom. Andy shows a clip of Lisa and Stassi booty-bumping at the wedding.

We end with Ken, puppies, Peter, and cocktails. Giggy! Harrison! Schnookie! Peter with Pumptinis! Lisa toasts to everyone, and says she loves them, even though she doesn’t always show it.

🎂 I would love to see French bulldog Tubbers from Sweet Home Oklahoma get his own show. Pumps came to Tubbers’ birthday party dressed like a roaring 20s flapper, because she’d been told it was a costume party. She was the only one who was told that. My karaoke group once had a pajama night, and I was afraid I might be the only one who showed up in them. I wasn’t. The party for Tubbers was a surprise party, although it was hard to say whether he was actually surprised. This show reminds me of Don’t Be Tardy. It’s a lot of fun and not mean-spirited at all. You can’t help but smile while watching it.

🐮 An extra observation. After successfully pulling off this prank, Jennifer said, “If you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.” This is the second time I’ve heard that in as many weeks. Shep said it on Southern Charm last week. Is this a thing now?