Category Archives: Teresa Giudice

Oct26

October 25, 2017 – Sonny Picks a Jason, Danielle Squeals on Dolores, No End’s End, a Tidbit & Atlanta Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Michael goes to Nelle’s office. He tells her she’s the perfect assistant. She has a gift for being all things to all people.

Nina relaxes in the sauna. Maxie comes in, and says Nina is going to rehire her at Crimson.

At the hospital, Monica teases Nathan about Man Landers. He tells her that he’s quitting the advice business. It was more all-consuming than he anticipated, and he wants to concentrate on his family and real job. Monica says it’s good he has his priorities in order.

Ava looks up old Jason online, and says that explains Franco’s interest. Griff knocks at the door, and asks if she’s ready for dinner. She tells him she forgot.

Danny asks why Jason is dressed up. He says it’s an important night, and they want to explain it to him and Scout. He says things are changing for their family. Danny asks if it’s a good change, and Sam says very good.

Sonny goes through the safe house with his gun drawn. He says, you went to a lot of trouble to get me here; show yourself. Patient 6 says, Sonny, and Sonny sees him on the stairs, his gun also drawn. Sonny asks who the hell he is; he looks exactly like Jason. Patient 6 says that’s who he is. Sonny says someone else has said he was Jason for the last two-years. Patient 6 says, come on, you know it’s me.

Nathan tells Monica that he has to interview a DUI patient. She says that Man Landers is going to be missed. Nathan sees Amy. She asks how Maxie took the news he’s retiring, but he hasn’t had a chance to tell her.

Nina says Maxie is stalking her. Maxie hands her an employment package she drew up for herself. She says any magazine would kill for the exclusive she has to offer – Inside the World of Ask Man Landers.

Nelle asks what Michael means, and he says it’s just an observation. She knew exactly how to act in every situation, from revealing herself as Josslyn’s kidney donor to being Carly’s assistant. His parents should have seen her coming, but they didn’t because she was so convincing. She wonders why he’s dredging this up now. He tells her that he just found out she spent a year in a mental hospital.

Griff suggests hanging out and ordering in. Ava thinks he wants to avoid being seen with her in public.

Jason explains media to Danny, and how they’ll be working out of an office now. Danny asks if he can help, and suggests an issue about dogs. I second that. Jason wants all the kids to help, and when they grow up. the company will be theirs if they want it. Danny thinks it sounds cool. Sam has no idea how much she wanted this until Jason made it happen.

Sonny says if he was Jason, he would have blown Sonny’s head off before he could blink. Real Jason says he’s not going to shoot him. Sonny asks why the gun, and he says he thought Sonny would have him along. He seems like the type to shoot first and ask questions later, and he thought he’d have to hold him off while he explained. Sonny says explain it to him; where has he been?

Griff tells Ava staying in would avoid awkward questions, and she says people might get the wrong idea and assume they’re a couple. He apologizes, saying he didn’t think she’d take it that way. She says imagine the harm he could do if he tried. He takes her hand, saying he’s clumsy, and apologizes again.

Nelle doesn’t like talking about it, since she thought she’d be judged, and she’s feeling that way now. Michael says he’s the last person who would hold mental illness against anyone. She says she’s not mentally ill, but had a breakdown. She wanted to put it behind her and forget. He asks why she had a breakdown.

Sam can’t believe this is going to be their business. Jason asks if she’s scared, and she says she’s exhilarated and it’s crazy jumping into the unknown. What if they fail? Jason tells her that they won’t. After everything they’ve been through, they can do anything as long as they’re together.

Sonny says five years is a long time, and Real Jason says it wasn’t five years for him. He woke up in a Russian clinic where they kept drugging him. It feels like he was there six months at most, and he worked on a plan to escape. Sonny asks why he didn’t call, and he says he gave the number to another patient. Sonny realizes it was Ava, and Real Jason says she gave the number to Dr. Klein. He tells Sonny that “they” were paying Klein to keep him drugged up and under control. When Sonny asks who’s “they,” Real Jason has no idea.

Maxie tells Nina it’s an inside look at what it’s like to be married to hottest, sexiest internet sensation. Nina wanted some peace, but knows it’s not going to happen, and tells Maxie to proceed. Maxie is going to focus on their fabulous marriage and true partnership. Nina says she was never part of the brand. Maxie says she contributes the glamour. They’ll take pictures of the apartment, and her, in couture outfits. Nina asks if she’s told Nathan, and Maxie says he’s on board and welcoming it with both well-muscled arms.

Amy video chats with Chet. She introduces him to Nathan, saying he’s the real Man Landers, and no, they’re just friends. She tells him she’ll call him back when she gets a break. She asks Nathan if he’s ever had the feeling that you know something is for the best, but it means giving up something you enjoyed. You have the satisfaction of doing the right thing, but the sadness of letting go. He knows the feeling.

Nelle says Michael wouldn’t understand, and he tells her to try him. She says she’s afraid to get hurt, so she runs from pain and lies to avoid it, and sometimes the lies make things worse. She didn’t have a fancy hospital or loving parents, so she ran as fast and long as she could, and crashed. She begs him to stop digging in her past.

Griff doesn’t pretend to know ins and outs of dating, and Ava says that he’s clearly an amateur, and she’s the relationship version of training wheels. He tells her that she’s reading too much into him suggesting take-out. She says that she’s busy anyway. He did hurt her feelings, but that’s not why she wants to cancel. Griff asks what’s so important, and she says getting answers about him, and shows Griff the sketch.

Sam tells (what do I call him now?) Other Jason that besides making a formal announcement, they’ll have to work the room. She asks him questions that people might ask, like how long he’s been considering the purchase. He says for a while, and she asks why not get more into the PI business? He tells her it was fun until people started shooting at him. He knew Julian would have a lot of legal bills, and might be ready to sell. He tells her their tastes are well beyond Julian’s, and the more he thought about it, the more he thought it was worth doing. Sam wonders if they’re asking for trouble.

Sonny asks how Real Jason got back to Port Charles, and he says he had a lot of help. He tells Sonny that he made an escape attempt too soon, and explains about the paperclip, and how Ava helped him. He says once he made it out, a priest helped him to stow away on a ship, but there were two mercenaries waiting for him in New York. He knocked them out, and took their guns and cash, but they’re still looking for him. Sonny wonders why he’d go to Ava, and not him. Real Jason says he did come to him.

Michael tells Nelle that he wasn’t looking for dirt; he was trying to prove her innocence. Nelle says she’s made mistakes and tried to leave them in past. The last thing she needs is her mistakes being resurrected and thrown in her face. She asks what if the roles were reversed? Is there something he hasn’t told her? He says he’d feel defensive, and there is something. She asks why he’s never told her, and he says the time never seemed right. Nelle says neither one of them has given full disclosure. She forgives him, but can he forgive her?

Ava explains to Griff that the picture is the man from the clinic. Griff asks where the sketch came from, and she says a random third party. Patient 6 is here, and it’s crazy, but they ran into each other by accident. When she mentioned Jason, he asked a lot of questions. Now she knows why. She shows Griff the headline about Jason being presumed dead. She says, apparently, he’s Jason too.

Sam asks Other Jason what if people think he’s getting back into the business. He says they’re not going to let their past keep them from the future they want. There’s a knock at the door, and it’s Monica looking for grandchildren. She explains Olivia-Q will be taking care of them while she goes to the party. In honor of tonight, she has something to give Jason from her and his father.

Real Jason tells Sonny that he went to his house first and let himself in. Sonny says the security codes have been changed, but Real Jason says he knew how to override them from Spinelli. He heard a guard say Sonny was gone, so he left. Sonny asks why he didn’t wait, but Real Jason says he didn’t know how long Sonny would be gone, so he did something stupid. He went to see Sam. He didn’t think it was fair for him to just show up, but he did. She wasn’t home, so he picked the lock. When he got inside, it didn’t feel like five years, more like five minutes; the time he lost hit him all at once. He couldn’t breathe, and went out on the terrace. When Sam came home, he was about to go in, but then he showed up. It didn’t take him long to figure out he was her husband, but had no idea Sam thinks it’s him.

Michael says he forgives Nelle. Her past is her own. Until she wants to share it, he’ll respect her privacy, but he needs to be able to trust what she says. He tells her now that’s settled, and they have a theater date. Nelle finishes up, and Michael gets a call about talking to the media about fracking. He asks who set this up?

Amy tells Nathan that Chet doesn’t know how his medical expenses were covered. He thinks the VA paid for everything. Nathan hopes she gets credit one day for everything she’s done. There are a lot of clueless bro’s out there who are now better off because of her.

Nina tells Maxie that she’s trying to read the employment package, but it’s wet. She knows the numbers are unacceptable though. She’s already factored more in. Maxie says Nina let her pitch her heart out in the steam room, when she knew she was rehiring her. Nina says she’s right, but she wanted to hear Maxie’s spiel. She thinks the Man Landers story is a great idea. She respects Maxie’s friendship with Lulu, but asks her to have the same courtesy and respect her marriage to Valentin. Maxie promises to stay out of it. She asks what changed Nina’s mind. Nina says not what, but who. It was her new boss, Jason.

Ava tells Griff that Patient 6 saw the picture of Avery, and knew Sonny’s house. He asked her to take a note to Sonny, who was a bastard like she knew he’d be. By the time she came back, Patient 6 was gone, and had left her a note. Griff asks if he signed it, and she says no, but she saw Franco sketching him. He’d said it was how Jason used to look before his facial reconstruction, so she swiped a sketch, and came back to do research. She says Patient 6 looks more like Jason than Jason did.

Jason opens the box, and it’s a pair of cufflinks. Monica explains it’s an Ouroboros, a snake consuming itself. It symbolizes rebirth, a move forward to consume the past, like what they’re doing. She knows Alan would want him to have them. He adored Jason, and his biggest regret was that they didn’t reconnect. She’s relieved he’s broken things off with Sonny and not working with him again. Other Jason says the things he did at twenty don’t serve him as an adult. Monica says it’s a new beginning, and she’s happy for them. She thanks him for choosing a new and better life. Geez, why does he looks so grim?

Real Jason tells Sonny that he could hear in Sam’s voice how much loves him. Sonny says Sam thinks she’s married to him. Real Jason says he put it together when Ava said Jason bought the media company, and she told him about the accident and how Carly figured out this guy was Jason. Sonny says there was DNA proof, and he knew things only Jason would know. Real Jason says he’s Jason. Sonny knows that, doesn’t he?  He’s Sonny’s best friend and brother. He has to tell him that he knows him.

Nathan and Maxie meet in the steam room. She wanted to celebrate in private. He asks what they’re celebrating. She says she has good news, and Nathan says he has something too. She wants him to go first. He says he’s done. No more intrusive fans or obnoxious tweets. His time as Ask Man Landers is officially over. Maxie tells him, no it’s not. He has to continue.

Nina sees Michael at Crimson. She gets a text, and says her stepdaughter is requesting she come to a tea party. She tells Michael that she’ll see him later at the launch party, but he says he and Nelle’s tickets are for tonight. He thanks her for pulling strings so they could get them, and she wishes she could say he’s welcome, but she didn’t do it. He says he must have misunderstood. She tells him congratulations; the tickets are difficult to get. She leaves, and Michael gets a text from Carly asking if he’s moving in with Nelle, and that Nelle implied they were.

Ava tells Griff that she thought about going to Sonny, but he thinks every word from her is a lie. Griff thinks maybe he could talk to Sonny, but Ava asks what he’ll say. Some man is running around with Jason’s face? She thinks if Patient 6 wants to get in touch with Sonny, he will; he seems impossible to stop. Griff asks if she thinks he’s dangerous, and she says he told her that he and Sonny are friends. Griff says what if he’s lying, and she asks if he struck Griff as a liar, but he has no idea.

Sam asks if Other Jason is wearing the cufflinks. He says they mean a lot. He likes the symbolism, and likes that they belonged to his father. Alan was a  good man, and he should have done better by him. Sam says it was a difficult situation. Jason says he was difficult. He fought to get away from Alan, and doesn’t know why. Sam says it’s time to make the formal announcement. He asks if she’s ready, and she says she is, as long as she’s by his side.

Sonny tells Real Jason that he’s been calling another guy Jason for two years, and what about the DNA? Real Jason can’t explain it. He knows nothing about him; he doesn’t even know himself. He went to work for Sonny in 1996. Sonny taught him everything he knows about business and most of what he knows about life. He’d never turn his back on Sonny, and would never start a media company. Somebody shot him in the back. Sonny tells him to stop. He puts down the gun. He shakes Real Jason’s hand, and says he knows it’s him. They hug.

Tomorrow, Molly tells Alexis no drama, Andre says Franco is getting closer to the truth, and Michael calls Nelle out about another lie.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Teresa and her father cook pork chops. The girls are going crazy, and grandpa says, mama mia, don’t scream. Teresa says she’s essentially a single mother, her dad is living with her now, and her mind is never going to be carefree. Her mother has been gone a month. She says the kids have been through a lot. It breaks her heart.

Dolores visits Siggy. Siggy tells her about lunch with Margaret. Dolores doesn’t trust her. Siggy says Margaret gave her a dig, saying everyone thinks she’s a yes person, including Teresa. In her interview, she doesn’t know where Teresa gets off calling her an ass kisser. She asks what to do next, and Siggy says hear Teresa out. She’s having a jewelry/handbag party. She thinks they should talk, but not with claws out.

Margaret and Joe #3 go to Melissa and Joe #2’s house for dinner. Melissa says she wants the story of how they met, and Joe #2 does a funny imitation of Margaret flirting with Joe #3. They decide to play pool. They kick the kids off the table, and Joe #3 breaks. Margaret says her lunch with Siggy started off rough, and Siggy cried like, five times. She says she felt badly, but they let the conversation happen. Melissa wonders where her apology is, since it was her birthday. Margaret thinks you shouldn’t cry over a cake, but Siggy is getting hormone pellets in her butt soon. Joe #3 says once they go through menopause, it’s all over.

Siggy unpacks groceries as she talks to son Josh. He’s sleeping at his girlfriend’s house. In her interview, she says she wants the opportunity to be a cool mom. She asks if he thinks Josh and his girlfriend will be going to school together, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. He hasn’t decided where he wants to go yet. She asks if it’s that painful to talk to his mom; she wants more than one-word answers. He asks why she’s upset, and she starts crying. She says everything she does annoys him, and she can’t give any more. In her interview, she wonders what if he goes away and forgets about her? He extracts himself quickly and I don’t blame him.

Teresa helps Milania with her spelling. Melissa drops by with cupcakes. Milania asks if she can miss dance on Saturday. In her interview Melissa says Teresa has her hands full, but she’s like Mr. Softy with the kids. Melissa tells her about Joe #2 buying the restaurant, but she knows already. Melissa is frustrated finding out she’s the last to know. She doesn’t know how he thinks he’ll have the time. Teresa says she was willing to kick in. Melissa thinks going into business with family is a bad idea, and doesn’t know what Joe was thinking.

At the office, Margaret’s mom talks about old friend Bob, who’s a friend with benefits. They’ve been sexting, but are getting together IRL. In her interview, Margaret says her mom is an out of control party girl, and she sometimes wishes she was raised by wolves. Her mother married young, left her father when she was two, and they basically raised each other, but her mom always came through for the kids. She knew she was loved even though they didn’t have a lot. Her mother says she’s not afraid of sex, and everyone goes, whoa, because they don’t want to hear it.

Siggy calls to invite Margaret to the party, but she’s going to be in Vegas. She says since Siggy is a relationship expert, maybe Siggy can help her mom find someone new to sext.

Teresa, Melissa, and Danielle meet for dinner. Danielle asks if anyone has heard or seen from Siggy and Dolores. In her interview, Danielle says she doesn’t want to create drama, but Dolores told her something about Teresa that wasn’t too nice. If Dolores doesn’t come clean, she’s going to have to say something herself. Teresa says Siggy apologized, and Melissa says still nothing for her. In her interview, Melissa tells us that she doesn’t even get sloppy thirds. Teresa says Milania gave her a headache, and Melissa says she knows how to work Teresa. She doesn’t want the girls to be mad at her, and needs to put her foot down. In her interview, Teresa is pissed that Melissa is telling her how to parent.

Teresa visits Joe #2’s new restaurant. She’s brought pictures. He wants to enhance the place, and asks what she wants to do first. He wants it to be about family. Melissa joins them. He says must be nice to roll in late, and Melissa says she runs a business and has three kids. Teresa thinks she should have delegated. She’s still annoyed about Melissa saying she should be stricter with her kids. Joe would like Teresa to be in the kitchen, and Melissa says she’ll hostess. Teresa asks if she’d waitress, and Melissa says no. Teresa thinks Melissa will just hang out on the weekends and drink wine. They bicker. In his interview, Joe says they’re making him nervous. He thought this sh*t was over. He tells them no more of this stuff, and Melissa says they started it.

Siggy is helping Dolores stage the house for selling it. Her boyfriend wants to move closer. She sees a future with him, and he doesn’t mind that she lives with Frank. Siggy says she’s having anxiety about Josh leaving, and he gets irritated with everything. Dolores says he has a lot going on inside with leaving his girlfriend; she went through the same thing with Frankie. She tells Siggy to let it go.

Teresa organizes Milania’s slime collection with her. She says whoever invented slime is no good. Milania emails her dad. It breaks Teresa’s heart that Joe #1 is missing all the little moments, and they need him. It’s time they’ll never get back. She thinks Milania doesn’t need more discipline, but more attention and love When Teresa asks for a hug, Milania jets.

Tons of women gather for Siggy’s party. Dolores is early because Siggy wanted to introduce her around. Siggy is frustrated with Melissa, who she thinks owes her an apology.

Teresa has her makeup done. Danielle picks her up. Man, prison time looks good on Teresa – she looks amazing. Danielle asks if she’s heard from Dolores, and Teresa says no. Danielle tells Teresa that Dolores said something not so nice about her – she’s not concerned about anything or anyone more than money, and be careful. She was hoping Dolores would come clean. Teresa is shocked. She wonders why Dolores would say that to Danielle. She can’t even comprehend it. She can’t wait to confront her about it. Danielle says good friends don’t say things like that.

Siggy thanks everyone for coming, and hawks the bags. Wow. That’s a lot of bags. Melissa arrives. She wonders what the deal is, since she hasn’t heard from them. Siggy says she was livid at the birthday party, and Melissa says she was relentless at the table, calling them names. After what happened, they were freaked out, and thought she’d call the next morning saying she’d had one too many. Siggy says in a million years, she’d never throw a beautiful cake across the floor. Melissa says sorry; she’ll buy her a cake. In her interview, Melissa says, we ate the cake, threw the cake, the cake is done. Siggy makes an announcement for everyone to shut up. She asks if they had a beautiful, three-tiered cake given to them for their birthday, how many people think throwing it across the room would be rude? Show of hands. Omg, really? No surprise, everyone agrees. She says who does that? Dolores has no idea why she did this. Siggy lies on the floor in front of Melissa, and says it’s all she wanted. Melissa is completely embarrassed. She doesn’t know anyone, and is surprised she’s even still there. Me too. I would have left.

Teresa gets there, and Melissa tells her and Danielle what just happened. Teresa is like, no she didn’t, but is glad it wasn’t her. She says family comes first, and no one is humiliating her SIL. She confronts Siggy, and Siggy says she was upset. Teresa says they ate the cake. They were having fun, and the stuff she said was horrible. She asks why Dolores was quiet, and Dolores says Siggy was upset. In her interview, Dolores says she has a history of being a loyal friend, but can’t say the same for everybody. She says she’s been sticking up for Teresa a long time, and would never let anyone talk about her.

Danielle repeats what Dolores said to her. Dolores jumps up, and calls her a m-effing liar, and a crazy scumbag. She gets in Danielle’s face. Danielle says she has no ulterior motive and nothing to gain from saying it. Dolores tells Teresa that Danielle is a starving, hungry bitch, and she’d never say that. Teresa needs to sleep with one eye open, because Danielle is up to no good. Methinks Dolores got real hot real fast because Danielle speaks the truth.

Delores says she has no history of stabbing Teresa in the back. She tells Teresa she has a choice; believe her or Danielle. In her interview Teresa says Dolores has been distant, and she and Danielle might have a crazy past, but they’re getting along great now. She asks why Danielle would lie. Dolores keeps calling Danielle crazy, and Danielle is like, thanks for the diagnosis. She says Danielle isn’t hard to diagnose. In her interview, Danielle says Dolores is clearly guilty; Helen Keller could see she’s lying. Danielle leaves the room, and Teresa and Melissa follow.

Danielle is all weepy, and Teresa asks what’s wrong. She tells Teresa that she was telling the truth. Back in the other room, Dolores tells Siggy that Danielle is out for revenge. In the past, Teresa created a lot of problems for her, and she’d better watch her ass. All of a sudden, it’s water under the bridge? She doesn’t think so. Danielle tells Teresa she’s shaken and wants to go home. Teresa and Melissa say they’ll go too. Teresa tells Siggy that she’s taking Danielle home. Delores says she’s afraid for Teresa; something’s not right. In her interview, Melissa doesn’t know how Dolores and Siggy can be so dismissive. Every time Siggy cries, they have to bow down and comfort her, and she’s still waiting for her apology. Dolores says if she wasn’t Teresa’s friend, she wouldn’t have warned her.

Next time, Joe #2 sees his name in lights, Melissa and Teresa argue, Gia agrees with Melissa, and Siggy criticizes Margaret.

😒 Officially not liking Siggy. She needs to get those hormones stat. Maybe the OC’s Shannon can go with her.

🏡 Tonight was the finale of Channel Zero: No End House. It was very weird and I enjoyed it, but I still have no idea what it was supposed to be about. Since a decision had to be made, I’ve chosen the viewpoint that it was an allegory about coming of age in suburbia. The next chapter will be served in 2018, with Channel Zero: Butcher’s Block.

Sad News…

😢 Okay, maybe it only made me sad. Tinsley and Scott have broken up. …sniff….

https://pagesix.com/2017/10/23/tinsley-mortimer-splits-from-coupon-king-boyfriend/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20171024&mpweb=755-4859391-711673032

And for some pre-Halloween/Housewives viewing pleasure…

 

Oct19

October 18, 2017 – Ava Carries a Message, a Truce in New Jersey, a Little Star & Psychedelic Fabulousity

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Oscar tells Josslyn the wholesome family life is different, but she says a life being followed by bodyguards is hardly wholesome. He says it’s still a family, and it’s new to him. He wonders where they begin to look for his father. Josslyn says that they can do this, and they will.

Carly tells Sonny that she likes Oscar, but they can’t be too careful. Sonny says she can’t hover. She says she can, but just can’t make it look like they are. She tells him it doesn’t hurt to set limits, and Sonny warns her not to turn Josslyn into a rebel and cause her to do things she’s not ready for. He tells Carly to leave them alone.

At the hospital, Finn asks if Cassandra is done with her tests. She says she’s done for now. She doesn’t mind enduring it, since she has faith that he’ll get to the bottom of her illness. She points out that his lover is here, and we see Anna on her phone.

At Crimson, Valentin tells Nina it’s official; Jason and Sam have acquired Derek Wells Media. He’s thought it was a perfect acquisition for them to run together, but Nina says it’s freedom to start over. He tells her it’s easier to acquire a company that exits than start their own. She says Jason will clean house and she probably won’t have a job by the end of the week. Jason walks in, and she says make that by the end of the day. She says she knows why he’s here, and he says good, it won’t take long then.

Betsy comes home to Franco sitting on her couch. She says he didn’t say he was coming over, and he tells her that’s because she would have found a reason not to be there. She’ll do anything to avoid telling him the truth about Jason’s twin, and he needs to know. I like the realistic touch of her calling Franco “Bobby,” the same way Nina is the only one who calls Nathan “Jay.”

Patient 6 asks Ava if there was bad blood between Jason and Julian. She says Julian has bad blood with pretty much everyone in Port Charles; even they’ve had their moments. She’s just surprised that he sold the one legitimate enterprise he had. She says he’ll be glad his daughter will benefit, but not so much Jason. Patient 6 asks if she has a picture of Jason.

Finn says, hi, honey, to Anna. She says she was just looking for him, and explains to Cassandra that she has a blood condition and was there for her treatment. Cassandra says it’s hard not to be jealous of a couple in love. She leaves, and Felicia asks them if they’re dating.

Valentin tells Jason that he and Nina were hoping to acquire the company, but Julian accepted his offer, so he must want to keep it in the family. He didn’t know Jason and Sam had backgrounds in communications. Jason says they’re fast learners. Nina says that it’s obvious he came to fire her, so get it over with.

Betsy says she’s told Franco everything. Andrew died from an undiagnosed heart defect. Franco says he’s not sure that’s the truth. He looked for a death certificate, and came up empty. He wonders if Andrew is still alive.

Ava looks on her tablet for a press release, telling Patient 6 that Sam is Julian’s daughter. She wonders why he’s so fascinated with Jason, then says she thinks she knows. He’s been away from Port Charles so long, he must have thought Jason was dead. Everybody else did.

Nina tells Jason she’s not going out without fight. Julian thought she’d sink the Crimson ship and he’d get a tax write-off, but she made the magazine a huge success. Valentin tells her there are other companies she can work for, but she says no boss could be worse than Julian. She made the magazine rise from the ashes, and kept it soaring. Jason would be a fool to fire her. Jason says he knows; he’s asking her stay.

Ava tells Patient 6 to brace himself; it’s a helluva story. Before she came to Port Charles, Jason was shot down at the docs by Faison. He was in a high-tech Duke Lavery mask, and it was very Mission Impossible. He fell into the water, and Helena found him. She kept him in a clinic, but he escaped. He was recaptured, and escaped again, but was hit by a car. His injuries were severe, and he required complete facial reconstruction. Patient 6 asks if he had an ID. She says no ID, no face, and for two years, he didn’t even remember his name. He asks why they thought he was Jason, and she says Carly figured it out.

Carly tells Sonny that she’s almost at the point where she’s going to force Oscar to introduce her to his mother. Sonny asks what she’s going to do if Oscar’s mother forbids him to see Josslyn, and Josslyn blames her. He suggests waiting until she asks to meet, but Carly says she has to do something now.

Oscar tells Josslyn that he asked his mom about his dad again, and she told him to leave it alone. Josslyn says it’s up to them then. He tells her the father was left blank on his birth certificate, but he was born in Austen after his mom moved there from San Diego. Josslyn says they’ll start in San Diego. He says his mom’s name and a city isn’t much to go on. They almost kiss, and Carly pops in, asking how the homework is going.

Betsy says if Franco couldn’t find the death certificate, it must have been misfiled or has a typo. Andrew existed for a brief time, and doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. It broke her heart to say goodbye to him. Why would she lie? Franco asks if she’s kidding after telling him that Andrew was imaginary. She says she did it to protect him, and he says there was no reason. He’d thought she was the one person in the world who would never lie to him, but he’s starting to question it. She says she did nothing wrong, except take in a child the Quartermaines didn’t know existed. Franco asks her to help him find peace. He wants to see Andrew’s grave.

Josslyn tells Carly that they were just wishing each other luck on their projects. Carly says luck is good, but hard work is better. Oscar says she sounds like his mom, which is a perfect segue for Carly, who wants to meet her. Oscar says she works a lot; she’s a doctor at Mercy Hospital. Carly says she works a lot too, but can Oscar make it happen? He says he’ll try, and Carly says she’s sure they can come up with a mutually convenient time. When she’s gone, Josslyn says she’s impossible. Oscar says it’s okay. His mom is so busy, it probably won’t happen – ever. Josslyn asks if her mom seems like the type to let things go.

Inside, Sonny tells Carly they’re kids, and meeting parents is a big step. Carly says they’re making a big deal out of nothing, and they’ll get along fine.

Jason doesn’t want to mess with success. Nina wonders why he didn’t just say so, and he says she didn’t give him a chance. Valentin takes Nina aside and asks why she wants to work for a CEO with no experience. She says she didn’t have any either, and she loves her job. He tells her that she’s exceptional, but Jason has the good sense to keep her on, so he’ll leave her to negotiate. He leaves, and Jason tells Nina that he didn’t seem very happy. She says he isn’t, but he supports her career and independence. She’s sure she wants to stay, but they need to iron out a deal about creative autonomy.

Valentin gets a text from Cassandra, asking if they can pick up where they left off last night.

Felicia wants to know why Anna didn’t tell her about her new beau. Anna says it’s new, unbelievably new. Felicia says she and Mac have had a renaissance in their marriage, so she’s glad to see new love. She tells Finn to treat Anna right, and Finn says, do no harm. Felicia tells him the healing gods are watching, and she can’t wait to tell Mac. When she’s gone, Finn asks Anna if they have to fool a whole city, and she says, yes, honey.

Franco says Betsy must have visited Andrew’s grave. He babbles about how she can tell him stories about the two of them as toddlers during the ride. She says they both crawled and walked at the same time, and talked baby talk to one another as if they were the only two who understood each other. Andrew learned his numbers faster, but Franco was better with crayons. Andrews first word was Franco’s name. He asks what his first word was, and Betsy says “mine.” She doesn’t want to visit the pain again, and Franco asks her to just tell him where the grave is. She says he doesn’t want to go to that place – to the truth about Andrew and him.

Patient 6 asks Ava why Carly would think the guy was Jason. She says there were DNA tests, and whatever was found was enough for her to interrupt Jason’s wedding. He asks if Jason was marrying Sam, and she says no, Elizabeth Webber; they had a child together. He finally recovered enough memory to realize he was still in love with Sam. She says they’re surprisingly old-fashioned and believe they’re soulmates whose love will never die. She asks why he’s so interested in Jason.

Valentin sees Cassandra in the park. He says she took a risk confronting him at the restaurant. She says it wasn’t a confrontation; she kissed him. He says it felt like one. She says she was just sharing a moment with an old friend. They used to be business partners and partners in bed, and she’d like to rekindle both.

Jason tells Nina that she’s done an amazing job. She says she was no expert when she started. He tells her he’s committed to making it work, but it’s new to him, and asks if she has any advice. She says when she started, she hired someone who knew what they were doing, and they showed her how to run the place. He asks if she means Maxie. Nina says Maxie was brilliant at her job, but she had to fire her because she betrayed Nina’s trust. Jason says sometimes there’s no coming back from that.

Josslyn goes to a website where she says you can find out anything about anybody. She finds out what we all do when you try that – it costs money. She tells Oscar that she has a credit card for emergencies, and thinks this qualifies. What if he needs his medical history?

Ava asks if Patient 6 knows Jason. He looks at a photograph, and she tells him it’s her daughter, Avery. The picture was taken in her father’s house. He asks if her father is Sonny, and Ava says he obviously knows him well enough to know the inside of his house. That would explain his connection to Morgan. She says that she and Sonny have a kid, the one great thing from a one-time mistake. Patient 6 says that he and Sonny are friends, and he needs her to give him a message.

Franco doesn’t want to cause Betsy any pain. She tells him to stop then; why does he need to know? Andrew is gone. Franco says not from his thoughts and dreams. He’s having nightmares, and can’t focus on anything but Andrew. He can’t do this and be with Elizabeth. He needs peace. Betsy tells him that Andrew didn’t die and didn’t have a heart defect. She made it up. For all she knows, Jason’s twin is still alive.

Ava tells Patient 6 that she’s not his best emissary. He tells her to just take the note to Sonny. She says there’s no point, and he tells her there is if it comes from him. She tells Patient 6 that Sonny won’t read it; he hates her. Patient 6 tells her to figure out an angle, and he can take it from there. Ava would rather not provoke Sonny.

Anna tells Finn if they shut Cassandra down, they’ll saves lives; doesn’t that mean something? He tells her that he only went into medicine for the money and the chicks. Of course it means something. She says then work with her and help her.

Valentin tells Cassandra that his circumstances have changed considerably. He’s married to a phenomenal woman. He has more to risk and lose; home, family and love. Cassandra calls him noble and principled, but says principles don’t pay well. He tells her about inheriting the Cassadine estate, and says he’s fabulously wealthy. She says being rich is expensive, and her business is booming. He says people are dying from her opioids. She says she doesn’t kill people, drugs do, and they choose to pay for them. He says he quit while he was ahead and she might consider following his lead. She says while she has a hugely successful enterprise, money can’t buy health. She needs him to shoulder the burden, and asks if he wants what she has to offer.

Josslyn tells Oscar that sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. His past has just been paid for.

Patient 6 tells Ava that she wanted to prove she’s a good person, and this is how she can do that. Take the note to Sonny.

Sonny tells Carly that she wants to manage the situation. She says she wants to protect Josslyn. He says it’s her first real relationship, and she’s going to get hurt. Carly says it’s not a relationship; it’s friend dating. Sonny asks if that’s a thing. She says it had better be. He asks what if another girl catches Oscar’s eye, and Carly says she’ll kick his ass. Sonny says he should probably keep an eye on her, and they kiss.

Oscar sees his grandparent’s address, but says they died when he was little. He has no other family, so they’re no closer to an answer. Josslyn says they really need his father’s name. Maybe his mom has something hidden. He says it’s not going to happen. Maybe there’s something hidden, but he tried looking once, and was afraid she’d find out. Josslyn says it’s a big secret, but since she was six, she’s been able to find her Christmas presents every year without anyone finding out. She asks if he wants to go looking now.

Betsy tells Franco that Andrew could be alive; she doesn’t know what happened after he left. Franco is like, he was three; how far could he go? She says he was the kind of boy who said goodnight to every one of his stuffed toys. She gave him up. She loved him and still does, and prays to see him again. She wants to know that he’s okay, and what kind of man he became. She’ll never stop missing him. Franco asks why she let him go, and she says he wasn’t safe. Franco asks why.

Felicia suggests that she and Mac double-date with Anna and Finn. Anna says that would be fun, and Finn says fun is an understatement.

Valentin tells Cassandra that he’s learned that if something is to good to be true, that’s usually correct. She says her security is tight; no one will tie him to her. He tells her that it’s important to be a good example to his daughter. He doesn’t think he could live with himself, knowing that people are dying from a product he distributed. Cassandra says he’s forgotten who he’s talking to. He did his fair share of killing, and could look someone in the eye while they were dying and his heart rate wouldn’t even waiver. She wonders why the sudden attack of conscience. Well, he just explained that, and he killed because he was a spy and a mercenary in his other life. I’m disappointed that he doesn’t say that. They talk a bit in French. I took two years of it, but can only tell you how to pack a suitcase and curse you out. Cassandra says Valentin is at his best when he’s dancing on the edge; it’s the only place he feels safe. She says we are what we are, and he’ll go absolutely mad not being himself. Valentin tells her that he’s not jeopardizing everything he cherishes for the thrill of a game. She says he’ll change his mind – sooner than he thinks.

Josslyn tells Carly that they’re going to the library. Carly says she’ll drop them off. And pick them up. Josslyn says that’s not necessary. Sonny says it’s not like they can get away with anything. Josslyn says they wouldn’t even try. Carly tells Oscar to text his mom, and get some dates when they could get together.

Nina tells Jason that she’s not sure if she and Maxie could ever overcome their differences enough to work together again. She tells him his problem is finding someone who’s not afraid of telling him when he’s wrong. He says he thinks he’s looking at her.

Betsy says Franco has one more chance to step away. Franco says he’s not taking it. She tells him that one day after Andrew’s third birthday, she was fixing diner and heard screaming. He was lying at the bottom of the stairs, twisted and bleeding, and nearly dead.

Ava thanks Sonny for seeing her. He says whatever she’s asking, the answer is no, so go ahead and leave. She says if he sends her away, he’ll miss out on something important.

Jason looks around Ava’s place. He puts his stuff in his pockets, checks his guns, and leaves.

Betsy tells Franco that Andrew was badly injured. He had broken bones and a concussion. It was a miracle he survived. Franco doesn’t understand, and asks what caused the fall. She says he did. Saw that coming.

Tomorrow, Lulu tells Laura to say yes, Doc tells Griff that he doesn’t look like a man at peace, and Sonny asks who gave Ava the note.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Margaret discusses her launch party for cosmetic bags with her staff. She’s throwing a party in her house, which is still under construction. She says it looks like a bomb hit, and it kinda does. Her contractor husband won’t let anyone else work on it, because he thinks the other men will hit on her. She says he’s delusional, but adorable. Margaret talks about Siggy being unhinged at the party.

Michael instructs Siggy on making meatballs. She’s upset about the weekend. She’s sad about Teresa and Melissa, but livid about Margaret. She tells Michael about Margaret calling her Soggy. Michael suggests just working it out with Teresa and Melissa.

Margaret talks to her friends about the weekend. She says she didn’t know they weren’t going to yoga, and that Siggy has no uterus, so she has no reason to cry every day. Margaret is willing to move past it. She says she doesn’t hold grudges, except against her mother. I think that’s a joke.

Frank says Dolores folds clothing wrong. In her interview, she says he thinks he’s going to rule the roost because he’s back, but it’s not happening. He created an issue between himself and Frankie because he overreacted. He tells her it’s the first time Frankie has had both parents in the same house, and they parent differently. She suggests they meet in the middle. He has no problem with that. We’ll see.

Teresa moves her dad’s furniture into her house. She wants him to be as comfortable as possible. Melissa and Joe #2 help. Joe asks what happened in Boca. Melissa says in a nutshell, Siggy thinks she’s too good for them. Joe wonders where Dolores’s loyalty is, since she’s known them forever, and knows Siggy for less than a year.

Dolores tells Frank about what happened, and says if Siggy said she didn’t call them animals, she believes it. She thinks Margaret is no good. She turned on Siggy after Siggy brought her into the group.

Melissa checks out the new merchandise at Envy. Margaret comes by, and she loves it. Melissa tells us that they bonded over being in the same industry. She says she’ll introduce Melissa to the right people. She’s up for any constructive criticism Margaret has. Danielle drops in. Margaret tells them about the cosmetic bag launch. She tells them Siggy blocked her on social media, and Melissa thinks it’s childish. I agree. I don’t even like the word unfriend; it seems immature. (Although don’t let this stop you from watching the movie with that title. It is scary good.) Melissa wonders why Siggy is mad at Margaret, since she’s the one who walked out. Margaret says Melissa and Teresa stormed out, but by the time they got home, she was the mortal enemy. Danielle thinks it’s because Siggy brought her in, and she feels like Margaret should have leaned on her more. Margaret says she thinks she was in shock after Siggy’s eff-you. She calls Siggy from the store, saying that they haven’t spoken and have tons to discuss, but she’s calling to invite her to the launch party. Siggy says she appreciates the invite, but too much happened in Boca that she’s upset about. She doesn’t want to go and be all phony, but she hopes it’s a success. Margaret asks if they can’t move past it, and Siggy says no. She introduced Margaret to everyone, and Margaret called her Soggy. Margaret says she hopes Siggy can move past it, and hangs up. She says that Siggy has to grow up. She’s the type who feels like she owns you because she introduced you around. She says she’s going to text Dolores, and tell her that her sidekick isn’t coming.

Dolores and the two Franks go out to eat. Dolores reminds us about how Frankie’s counselor called about him lagging behind with college applications. Frank says Dolores thinks he’s too rough on Frankie, and asks what colleges he’s seriously considering. Frankie gives him a few names, and says his girlfriend wants to see if they can make it work. Frank said he made the mistake of not breaking it off before college and it was a disaster. Frankie says Frank is more of a multiple girl guy, where he’s a one girl guy. Dolores laughs. Check please.

Joe #2 tells Melissa that the mausoleum wants to know what should be written on the granite. He’s thinking of love will never die in Italian. He says he goes there every morning, and has it together until he walks in and starts bawling. Melissa tells us that he puts on a happy face for the family, but struggles every day with the loss of his mother. Joe tells her that every time he has to deal with something, it’s like reliving the moment and feels like a punch in the gut. He asks Melissa how long before the pain goe away? She says she lost her father when she was seventeen, but it never does. She suggests keeping busy, and Joe says he has to keep his father occupied. In his interview, Joe says they were married thirty-seven years. He’s only been with Melissa thirteen, and would be a mess if he lost her.

Siggy meets Teresa for drinks. Teresa says the last time didn’t end so well. Siggy thinks when Teresa is with the others, she gets caught up in the moment, but one-on-one, she’ll see where Siggy is coming from. She tells Teresa that she’s upset about the cake thing. Teresa admits to letting loose a little bit, and says the alcohol played a part, but Siggy said a lot of things out of character, and then reprimanded them the next day. Teresa says she walked out because she didn’t like what Siggy was saying, and she’s sorry. They’ve both said things they didn’t mean, and she feels bad. Siggy wants to know what Margaret’s excuse is. She and Margaret have a bigger issue. She says she wants to pull the pigtails out of Margaret’s head, she hates her, and everything out of her mouth is another dagger. Stellhe doesn’t want to go to her party. In her interview, Teresa wonders if she’s getting Soggy Siggy or Psycho Siggy; she’s becoming unhinged. Teresa asks why she can’t just come, and Siggy says she hates that effing bitch. Geez.

Margaret tells her husband (yet another Joe) that she can’t live like this with all the construction. Joe #3 says that they’re two months out. She says the design company is about selling fabulousity, and she doesn’t want to be embarrassed.

Melissa and Joe #2 go out to lunch. They go to an Italian pizzeria, and there’s no one else there. Joe tells her that he bought it. He bought into an existing restaurant, but he’s changing the name. He tells her that he can’t keep all his eggs in the real estate basket. In her interview, Melissa says she’s biting her tongue, and doesn’t want to own a restaurant; it’s a lot of work. He shows her the kitchen, and introduces her to the chef, Nicky. Nicky brings out some penne vodka, and Joe declares it fast food, but gourmet. Melissa says when she opened Envy, she let him know about every step along the way, and he totally blindsided her. Joe says it will give his dad something to do. Melissa tells us they’re all worried about his dad, but it feels like an excuse, and she wishes he’d talked to her. Joe tells her that his dad is excited about it.

Teresa goes to a meeting about her new book, Standing Strong. It’s her sixth one. She wants herself in a tree pose on the cover. The editor says she went deep with the last one, but thinks there’s more and Teresa can go deeper. She says in the last one, Teresa still seemed to have her guard up, and the fans want to know about how her life isn’t perfect when she’s getting the girls up for school at 6 am, or missing Joe #1. She thinks it will be financially rewarding. In her interview, Teresa says she feels pressure as the sole provider. She just paid off the restitution, and has to save for the girls’ college. The last book was number two on the NY Times bestseller list, and they’re hoping for number one this time.

Margaret tells her makeup guy that her house is a sh*t show. She finds out the oven isn’t working. She tells Joe #3 to fix it. She ends up calling a neighbor and asks if she can use their oven. The assistants prepare the food for transport.

Dolores goes to Siggy’s house. They’re having a slumber party, and they’re both in pajamas and pigtails. Ugh. Siggy says she’d rather stick a hot poker in her eye than go to Margaret’s party. In her interview, Dolores says that she was vulnerable when she met Siggy, and just coming off of a failed engagement. Siggy made her come out of her shell, and she’ll always have her back no matter what. They do a peel-off mask.

The food comes back, and the party comes together. Melissa, Teresa, and Joe #2 arrive. Melissa says Margaret’s house is over-the-top, psychedelic, and reeks of fabulousity.

Dolores tells Siggy this is better than Margaret’s party. She says Siggy was mistreated in her own house with her own friends; just imagine being in Margaret’s house with her friends. She’s hoping Teresa and Melissa defend them if their names come up. They’re idiots.

Melissa has a cotton candy martini, and my stomach turns just thinking about it. Margaret tells them Dolores isn’t coming. In her interview, Teresa says Dolores is becoming a Siggy minion. She’s sent a text to Margaret, saying she doesn’t know what loyalty is. Teresa says she’s known Dolores for twenty years. Danielle wonders if Siggy or Dolores really sent the text. She can’t tell them apart. To be honest, it was hard for me at the beginning of the season.

Siggy wants to put on music so they can dance. She shows Dolores some of her new dance moves, and the whole thing is ridiculous.

Joes #2 and #3 wonder what’s up with these women. Teresa tells Margaret about how Siggy hates her. Margaret says she can move past almost anything. Danielle suggests she text Siggy. At Siggy’s house, she says Margaret just checked her. She reads the text to Dolores. It says sorry she’s not at the party, and sorry she’s not with the girl who introduced her to everyone. She’s hoping they can meet and put it behind them. Dolores says she’s only saying this because she has to. Siggy feels that she owes it to herself to meet. Dolores doesn’t think it will go well. She thinks Margaret is a sneak who wants to take Siggy’s place in the group. Oh brother. Siggy says they’re meeting at the diner tomorrow. Dolores tells her to close the chapter. At the party, Margaret hopes they can put it to rest, but if the waterworks start, she doesn’t know what she’ll do.

The next day, it’s miserable out. Welcome to New Jersey. Siggy and Margaret meet at the diner. Margaret says she missed Siggy. Siggy says after what happened in Boca, she was hurt. Margaret doesn’t know what she did that was so awful, and Siggy says she didn’t even think to call her about the memorial. Margaret says there was a group text, and it wasn’t intentional. Siggy complains that Margaret had been hanging out with her friends all day, and Margaret points out that Siggy was hanging out with Dolores. Why is Siggy so angry with her; she’s the one who introduced them. Siggy tells Margaret that she insulted her in front of her friends, and she was deeply hurt. Margaret says it didn’t sound like she was coming from a place of empowerment. Siggy says she doesn’t want to empower, but destroy Margaret. Margaret says this is hypocrisy at the highest level. They should be able to laugh at themselves the way they laugh at others, and Joan Rivers would have loved her Soggy remark. Siggy starts getting weepy, and Margaret suggests maybe she should be on medication. Siggy says she’s getting some kind of hormone pellets in her butt, and asks if Margaret wants to come to the appointment. I have the feeling she needs more than pellets in her butt to straighten her out. This chick is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Margaret says the last thing she wants to do is make a girl feel bad. It wasn’t her intention. In her interview, Margaret says Siggy crying in a group of people is theatrical, but when they’re alone, it makes her feel horrible. She says she’s a wiseass, but doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Siggy says Margaret doesn’t realize how sensitive she is. She feels like they don’t know each other, and Margaret says it’s like they’re dating. She says she was just trying to be funny, and truly apologizes. In her interview, Siggy says she’s going to hold Margaret at arm’ length, and take baby steps. Margaret tells Siggy that she’s obnoxious, but can’t help it. Siggy says now that she knows, she won’t be as offended, but Margaret thinks she could use some toughening up. Siggy says when they meet again, she’ll have pellets in her ass.

Next time, Teresa asks Melissa if she’s going to wait tables, Siggy takes a poll about the cake, and Dolores goes off on Danielle.

🌃 On Watch What Happens Live, Siggy admitted she overreacted about the cake. My opinion is that giving someone a fancy cake is like putting the dog in a costume on Halloween. After you take the pictures, then it’s theirs to destroy.

⭐ On Star, Ayanna thought she would cut the girls out after Star tried to strangle her publicist. No surprise, they went to Ayanna’s big party anyway. When they caught the attention of a temperamental celebrity that Ayanna was trying to woo, she had no choice but to kiss their collective asses. Ayanna told Star that she was lost, but Star said they seem to be trying to do the same thing, jump through hoops to impress Ayanna’s dad. While Star figured her own dad, Brody, showed up because he smelled future money, he insisted that wasn’t the case, showing her a childhood drawing she made for him that he carries with him. Carlotta had to rescue Simone from herself, when she went out to create chaos with ex-cellmate Karen, and Derek confronted Alex about her stress shopping. He also admitted that he’d been hiding from the outside world, and confronted a racist a-hole at the deli, although that didn’t exactly turn out well, when the racist overturned Derek’s wheelchair. Queen Latifah’s hair wasn’t that eventful this week, but she sang her heart out at a worship service, while simultaneously, the girls sang the same song at Ayanna’s party, and it was this week’s everything. Star will return after the World Series, when Star threatens to kill Brody.

Psychedelic Fabulousity According to Google…

PsychedelicFab

 

Oct12

October 11, 2017 – Griff Has to Decide, Siggy Wants an Apology, Jahil is Alive & a Giggy Wedding Pic

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

There’s a tribute to Morgan in the park. An easel has been set up with pictures of him.

Kristina walks Parker to class. Parker says that Kristina has made it possible for them to be together. Kristina says it’s the best decision she’s ever made. The dean knocks at the door, and says they need to discuss how Parker’s conduct affects the university.

Ava tells Kiki how sick of hospitals she is, and talks about things they can do today. Kiki says she can’t spend too much time today. Ava thinks she’s mad, and Kiki says that Ava only lied and snuck off to a bootleg clinic in Russia where she could have died. She was relieved when Griff called. Ava says he moved heaven and earth for her. Kiki tells her that’s because he felt responsible, and wants to know why. What happened between them?

In the chapel, Griff tells God that he’s sought clarity through prayer, scripture and faith, but needs discernment and guidance. A priest walks in, and says at the risk of sounding conceited, he could be the answer to Griff’s prayers. Father Corey is there to take him back to his parish where he belongs. I didn’t even know he had a parish.

Ava tells Kiki that she and Griff had a disagreement, and let’s leave it at that. Kiki says it must have been quite a disagreement, but she’s glad he got there when he did. Deanna pops in, saying there’s been a glitch, and Ava’s release papers will take longer. Kiki says she’ll be back later She’s spending the morning with Avery. Ava wants to see her, but Kiki isn’t sure about that. She doesn’t think it’s the best thing for today. Ava says she hasn’t seen her in a while. Kiki tells her to text when she’s ready to go, and Ava says to take pictures if she can’t bring her. Kiki says she really is glad Ava is back home.

When Kiki is gone, Laura appears. She says she saw Kiki leaving. She’s a lovely girl, and Ava must be proud, although she wonders if she’d be as proud, if Kiki knew how Ava betrayed Nikolas. Which makes no sense unless we were talking about Kiki being proud of Ava.

Father Corey says he hasn’t heard from Griff in weeks. Griff tells him that he just got back from a trip. The priest says it must have been some trip; St. Gabriel had an easier time reaching the Virgin Mary. He’s not shaming Griff, but not even sending a pithy emoji makes him think that Griff is avoiding him. Griff says it wasn’t because he didn’t want to speak with him, but he was afraid of being told his leave of absence is over. Father Corey tells him as they say on Wednesdays, bingo! The bishop needs him back immediately.

The dean tells Parker that pursuing a sexual relationship with a student is against policy, and she was seen kissing Kristina. Kristina says that she’s not going to school there anymore, but he says it was prior to her withdrawal. She wants to know who said something, but Parker says it doesn’t matter. The dean tells her that her paperwork will be waiting. Kristina asks what paperwork, and Parker tells her that she’s just been fired.

Laura tells Ava that she’s the one holding up the release papers. Ava knows how much Laura hates her; she hates herself. Laura says she should. She chose vanity over conscience, letting a murderer walk out into the world, and Spencer will have no peace of mind. Ava wonders if he could appreciate the irony. She ruined her chances of getting her face back by helping somebody. Laura asks if she thought she’d get applause for her noble victory, when she helped the man go free who murdered her son. Nikolas died for her. She tried to take comfort that he died a hero, but now she knows it was in vain. In the end, Ava valued her looks over Nikolas’s memory, and Laura will never forgive her. Any attempt at apology is wasted, but she’s the least of Ava’s worries. She sold her soul to the devil, and one day, will have to pay up. She gives Ava the release papers.

Griff apologizes to any inconvenience, and says he’ll call the bishop and ask for an extension. Father Corey says he already took more time than usual, and the time has come to an end. Griff says he has patients and cases, but the priest says there are other doctors. His parish needs him. Aside from his indiscretion, he was an exemplary priest, which is why they agreed to the extended leave. Griff says he appreciates it, and Father Corey tells him to act like it. He’s had more than enough time, and they have every confidence that he’s learned to resist temptation.

Kristina tells Parker that she can call father’s lawyer, but Parker says that she broke the rules. She tells Kristina not to blame herself, but Kristina says she only blames whoever was spying on them. Alexis walks into the room, and Kristina says she’s not surprised. It was her.

Kiki arrives at the park, and thanks Michael for inviting her. He says no one blames her for what Ava did. Molly says that they’re there to honor Morgan’s life and outrageous sense of humor. I wish I’d seen this sense of humor they keep talking about. I don’t remember him having much of a sense of humor at all. Molly gets a text from Kristina, saying she can’t make it. Josslyn wonders why she’s blowing it off, since it was her idea. Molly doesn’t want to speculate, but Josslyn thinks she knows something. Molly says that Kristina dropped out of PCU, and their mom is upset, so they’re probably talking. Michael says Morgan would sympathize.

Molly gives out Perks new signature drink, which was Morgan’s creation – the Morganchino, hot chocolate and espresso. She says that the profits from it will go to the foundation. Dante says it packs a punch, and Michael adds that he won’t be sleeping for days. That’s my kind of coffee. Josslyn says the ceremony wouldn’t be complete without Perks hats, also Morgan’s creation, and passes them out to everyone. Dante talks about the time they first met, and Michael takes a group picture with everyone wearing their hats.

Kristina tells Alexis that Parker was just fired because of their relationship, and Alexis says, imagine that. Kristina says that she’s no longer enrolled at PCU. Alexis says that she knows, even though Kristina didn’t tell anyone, but she wasn’t the one who said something to the school. Kristina says that Alexis would do anything in her power to sabotage them, and Parker adds that she has been relentless. Kristina tells her to admit it. Alexis insists she didn’t do it, but whoever did, did Kristina and PCU a big favor.

Doc meets Laura at Kelly’s. He tells her that he got her message, and asks if she’s okay. He has a feeling, and she admits she neglected to tell him something. He says she can tell him anything, and she says that she went to Wyndemere and threatened Valentin with a gun.

Griff says that his ordination was the happiest day of his life. Father Corey remembers what the priest said about justice and consistency, and all the virtues that should be reflected in a priest’s actions, as well as keeping pure and spotless. He says it’s a gift of a high calling. Griff remembers everything, including his vows. He wants to resume being a priest, but he has to be completely sure; his parishioners deserve it. He asks for a few more months, but Father Corey says he already asked the bishop, and Griff is needed now. His replacement is needed elsewhere, and the bishop was firm. Griff says he can’t, and Father Corey tells him that he has an important decision to make then. Does he want to continue being a priest?

The group at the memorial toasts Morgan with coffee. Ava appears, saying she’s sorry to intrude, but Kiki said Avery would be there. She asks if Avery can say “hi” to her momma, and Michael tells Molly to take Avery into Perks. She asks if he had to do that, and Kiki asks what she’s doing there. She was supposed to text when she was ready to leave. Ava says she got released right after Kiki left. Dante says so she thought she’d barge in, but she tells him that she didn’t know what was happening. Kiki wonders why she didn’t turn around and leave when she noticed, and she says she wanted to see Avery. Michael says she saw her; Avery was having a good time, and she ruined it. I laugh, because maybe she ruined it for the others, but Avery didn’t even know what was going on. Michael insists she can feel the tension (again, not coming from Ava). They’re remembering Morgan instead of being with him because of her.

Father Corey says that he told Griff not to be hard on himself. Things happen. They fail, and fall, but they gather up their courage and learn from their mistakes, emerging stronger with renewed faith and better resistance. He tells Griff that the diocese has supported him because he means so much to them. It shouldn’t be a question of obligation. In the seminary, he embraced the church; what’s changed? He asks if there’s another woman, and Griff says yes.

Alexis tells Kristina that Parker violated her position of trust, and should have discouraged a relationship. Kristina says Parker never did anything inappropriate. Alexis says PCU disagrees. Parker says yes, they did, but she doesn’t have to defend or explain herself to anyone except Kristina. Alexis says that it’s hard to watch Parker manipulate her daughter. Kristina says she came to see if her plan worked, but Alexis says she has no control over what the dean does. Kristina asks why she’s there then, and Alexis wants to find out why she quit school.

Laura tells Doc that the gun wasn’t loaded, but Valentin didn’t know that. He sarcastically says that’s a relief, and she says she knows it was wrong and stupid, but she wanted to see the fear in his eyes for a change. She says Spencer can’t win the civil suit without Ava’s testimony, and it gave him a sense of purpose. Valentin gets away with everything, and she felt helpless. Doc says no judgement. He knows how fierce she can be; it’s one of the many qualities that attracts him to her. Laura gets a picture from Spencer on her phone, and she says he misses them, and will never forget their walks along the Seine before school started. He wants to know how the lawsuit is coming along, but she doesn’t want to let him know how Ava betrayed him.

Michael says they know Ava didn’t mean for Morgan to die; just go out of his mind and break up with her daughter. Dante tells her that she’s not welcome. Ava says that she’s still Avery’s mother. Kiki tells her to please go. Ava says all right, and when she’s gone, Kiki apologizes for letting it slip that she was seeing Avery. She asks if they can continue to celebrate Morgan’s life, but Josslyn is taking her to see the penguins at the zoo, and wants to do it before she’s tired. Kiki says that her mom ruined the memorial like she ruins everything she touches.

Father Corey asks if Griff had sex, but Griff says no. There was some physical contact, but he stopped it. He tells the priest this is different than his experience with Claudette. At the time, he had strong feelings and thought he loved her, but not enough to overcome his love of God and the priesthood. Father Corey asks why he’s reluctant, and Griff says God is still first in his heart, but there’s something about this woman. He’s drawn to her without understanding. It’s more than physical. She had been injured, and closed herself off from the world. At first, he wanted to help, and still just wants to help. Father Corey asks if he wants something more. Griff doesn’t know, but he does know that he can’t return without an answer.

Alexis tells Kristina she found out about her quitting school when she got a refund check. She didn’t have the respect and decency to tell her to her face. Kristina says she thought she knew what the reaction would be, but she underestimated Alexis. She didn’t think she’d get back at her by tanking Parker’s career. Parker says it doesn’t matter; she’s fired. She’s going to Oregon, where her parents left her a house. Kristina is sure she’ll love it. She’s going with her.

Doc asks what Laura told Spencer. She told him that they miss him too, and the civil suit is moving through the judicial system at a glacial pace, which isn’t exactly a lie. Doc says it’s not exactly the truth either. She says the suit means everything to Spencer. He’s Hamlet avenging his father’s death. It’s how he’s dealing with his grief, and losing Ava’s testimony will be hard because he wants to win badly. Doc asks, or does she? She says both, but she can handle the disappointment; she doesn’t think he can. Maybe something will happen to change it. It breaks her heart that Spencer won’t have justice for his father’s murder.

Father Corey says that Griff can’t have it both ways. He can’t use the priesthood as a shield against life. Choose one and deal with the challenges. He suggests Griff pray about it, but Griff says he’s been doing that. The priest says he’ll pray too, but if the answer isn’t with God, Griff has to look inside himself. He needs to have the guts to listen, and in the end, he’ll know what’s right, and no doubt find the answer. I love this actor, but can’t find out who he is.

Doc doesn’t want either of them to suffer. They might not get justice, and will have to find peace another way, but he’ll be here for her no matter what. He wants to be there in the good times and the bad; that’s how love works. Laura says she doesn’t know what she would have done without him. He says she would have managed. She says maybe, but this latest twist knocked her for a loop. She doesn’t know how Ava can justify her actions, and how she lives with herself. She’s destroyed so many lives.

Ava gets thank you text from Spencer. She says can’t go on like this.

Josslyn thinks they should give the picture board to the foundation, so the kids can see the person who inspired it. Kiki adds that they can see Morgan was just like them; he struggled, but loved life. Michael asks if she wants to come to the zoo with them, but she says no thanks. When they leave, she thinks about what Michael said to Ava, that she used the idea of love and concern to destroy his brother and control her daughter. Kiki ponders this, and tells Morgan that she’s sorry for what Ava did because of her. He’s not here now, and she knows it’s Ava’s fault. Michael said he’s never going to forgive Ava, and maybe she shouldn’t either. She doesn’t know what to do.

Alexis tells Kristina that she’s being ridiculous, and she’s not going to Oregon. Kristina says she is – if Parker wants her. Parker says of course. Alexis blocks the door and says if Parker has any shred of decency, she can’t do this. Parker says that she loves Kristina; she never would have trashed her career otherwise. Alexis says it’s a mistake, but Kristina says the only mistake would be letting Alexis control her life. Alexis tells her that she’s only trying to help. Kristina says she loves someone who loves her back, and their starting a new life together. Alexis can stay and judge – what she does best.

Doc tells Laura that people invent all kinds of ways to justify doing wrong. Some blame others, some take what they think they deserve, some play the victim. Understanding Ava’s psyche won’t make her feel better. She says she has to do something; she doesn’t want to lie life like this. She knows it’s not what Nikolas would have wanted. He’d have wanted her to live her best life and find peace, but she doesn’t know how. Doc says maybe he can help, and asks her to marry him.

Ava books the next flight to Paris. She says that she’s sorry to Spencer. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Griff.

Tomorrow, Curtis found something, Dillon says Kiki is shutting him out, and Alexis tells Sonny that they have to keep Kristina from throwing her life away.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

We revisit Teresa throwing the birthday cake at Melissa, and Siggy overreacting, ending with her telling Margaret to go screw herself. In her interview, Margaret says while she wouldn’t throw a cake at a party, they were just having fun. The scene continues a little longer, with Siggy calling the girls just about every name in the book. Siggy says if they can’t behave, they’re not coming back.

Teresa calls her father. She misses talking to her mom every day, and her daughters miss her too. Melissa calls Joe #2, and he asks how the birthday dinner went. She says Siggy got “fancy pants” on them, and got mad. She tells Joe about the cake fight, and he laughs. Melissa says that Siggy called them animals. She says that’s what women do, and he should be happy he’s not one of them.

Siggy tells her husband that they were all drunk, but it was no excuse for throwing cake. She’s humiliated and embarrassed, and wants an apology. She continues to bitch to Michael. He says to come home already; it’s ridiculous.

Back in New Jersey, Frankie pours dried pasta into a bowl. I’m hoping it’s going into some boiling water, and he doesn’t put milk on it. Frank lectures him about acting more mature, and doesn’t think he’s taking going to college seriously. He tells Frankie not to embarrass his parents.

The ladies head to yoga. Siggy and Delores didn’t answer the group text, and Margaret tells them not to wait. Danielle talks about Siggy saying that she’s more intelligent than the rest of them. She could understand if it was a real fight, but they were just goofing around. In her interview, Danielle calls Siggy a control freak, and says the moment she wasn’t in control and they started having fun, she lost her sh*t. She might be right here. They were having fun, but not her fun. Danielle tells the others that Siggy did say she’s a Gemini. We flash back to her getting weepy every other minute, and Margaret calls her Soggy. Melissa says that she’s two different people – the one from Boca, and the one from New Jersey. She’s hoping New Jersey comes back, because Boca is no fun.

They set up towels on the beach. Teresa is a certified instructor, and tells them go at their own pace. In her interview, she says that yoga changed her mind. She learned to be more positive. If it wasn’t for yoga, she wouldn’t have rekindled her relationship with Danielle. Danielle does a difficult pose, and Melissa says that her flexibility is the reason she was engaged nineteen times. Hahahahaha!

Siggy and Delores go to a juice bar. Siggy says she tried to make the weekend perfect, and was disrespected for her trouble. She bitches to Delores, and says that it’s her town. Delores gets why she’s upset, but says she doesn’t think it was deliberately disrespectful; it’s just the way they act. She’s seen Teresa throw people and tables across the room. Delores suggests Siggy talk to them before they go to tennis at her friend’s house.

After yoga, Melissa wants a drink immediately. A man brings a white floral wreath down to Margaret. Margaret says that it’s a healing time, and she thought setting the wreath out to see as a memorial to Teresa’s mom would be appropriate. She’d seen it done in Hawaii. How thoughtful! She feels that Teresa opened up, and wanted to do something special. Each of them takes a rose and a notecard where they write something to a lost loved one. Everyone is crying, and they read their cards out loud. I start to cry. This is one of those rare moments that is truly real and touches your heart. Of course, Teresa writes to her mother, and I’m surprised she can get through it. In her interview, Melissa says it takes a while to get to a place where you want to keep living. Teresa says Margaret is an amazing person. They tie the flowers and cards onto the wreath. Margaret didn’t think it would be so emotional. They have to take the wreath out on a paddleboard with an instructor. Teresa says that one of the difficult things about grieving is being alone, but now she’s sharing a special moment with those who lost love ones. She tells us that Margaret wouldn’t have known it, but her mom loved beach, and she knows she’s watching.

In the Garden State, Teresa’s girls aren’t thrilled with grandpa’s cooking. Joe #2 comes over with his kids. In his interview, Joe says the grandkids are his father’s life, and he lights up when they’re around. He teases the girls about boyfriends, and says his daughter will be 48 when she gets her first one.

Siggy whines to Delores that they’ve had all morning to reflect. She hopes they realize they took it too far. Everyone gets in the limo and it’s pretty quiet. In her interview, Siggy says they’re in the car like nothing happened. There’s intermittent small talk. Delores tells us that the one thing that can make it go away is if someone apologizes. She feels an eff-you attitude in the car.

When they get to the house mansion, Siggy says things went too far last night. She doesn’t want tennis rackets to go flying. Teresa wonders, if Siggy feels that way, why are they even coming here? In her interview, Siggy says they’re lucky they didn’t get time out. She tells them to please respect her friend’s house. Melissa feels like she’s being schooled. Margaret says they’ll talk about it later.

The girls are introduced to Lori. The house is humongous and impressive, but I don’t love it. Siggy wants them to have a taste of her lifestyle in Boca. Teresa is pissed, but Lori planned amazing day for them, so she’s rolling with it. None of them want to be there. They sit on the patio, and Lori explains that she and her husband became friends with Siggy and Michael when her husband was Siggy’s OB/GYN. Some of the girls are going to play tennis, and the others going to the pool. Lori arranged for a lifeguard to teach Teresa how to swim. Wow. Another thoughtful gesture. Danielle tells her about the wreath ceremony, and no surprise, Siggy feels disrespected that they didn’t call her. In her interview, Delores says she’s known Teresa and her mother since she was a teenager, and is shocked she was excluded. Because It’s all about them. I might add that they did not answer the group text, so too bad.

Siggy’s tennis dress matches the blue court so well, it’s like a special effect. Margaret plays tennis like I do – badly. Siggy is concentrating on having good time, but it’s hard, because she’s sad about fighting with her friends. I notice that the instructor has man bun. Only Josh (Sweet Home Oklahoma) is allowed to have a man bun. Swim instructor Lee takes Teresa out in the water, and she’s terrified. She has to keep a grip on him, but doesn’t really mind since he’s hot. He instructs well, as she ends up swimming alone across the pool.

Siggy takes Lori aside, and tells her about the cake, leaving out a few details, like it wasn’t malicious, and she was nasty. Lori says no one in her world operates like that. Siggy is glad someone agrees with her, because she thought she was in the twilight zone. They agree a sit down is needed. Delores tells Margaret of course Siggy is upset. Margaret says Siggy did say a few things that were dismissive. In her interview, Delores thinks Margaret needs to learn about loyalty. Who brought you is who you stay with. Yeah, if you’re going to the bar. How about leaning on the side of the right one? Delores is angry that they weren’t invited to the memorial. In her interview, Margaret says it was about Teresa’s mother, not Siggy and Delores. Again I say, if they hadn’t ignored the text, they might have gotten an invite.

Melissa doesn’t want to apologize for having fun at her own party. Good point. They’re having dinner at Siggy’s place. Everyone gets ready.

Siggy is annoyed with Margaret, and hurt. She wanted to be part of it. Delores says Margaret should have texted her, and I yell, she did! you didn’t answer! at the TV. She says they weren’t up for yoga because of the way things went the night before. But she obviously couldn’t be bothered to let them know that. She says had they known about the memorial, nothing would have stopped them from coming. In her interview, Margaret calls Delores a mini Siggy. Margaret relays to the others that Delores said they should just accept that Siggy says things like she has a higher IQ; that’s the way she is. Danielle says it’s an insult. In her interview, Teresa says she never would have believed she and Danielle would be on the same side of an argument.

Margaret says the house is a shrine to Siggy. There are even pictures of her in the bathroom. Siggy has hired Sexz Chef for the dinner. While they have a cocktail, Siggy tells Teresa that she has a hangover from last night and her head is spinning. Teresa says that her head is spinning from last night too. In her interview, Siggy claims she was getting the eyeroll attitude, but I didn’t see that. It was more like Teresa was trying to be funny, but didn’t know how to handle Siggy’s remark.

At the table, continuing with her passive aggression, Siggy says they had great food last night. Melissa says that she enjoyed being outside. Siggy says she can’t stand it. They’re acting like nothing happened. They were both rude, and it was validated by Lori. Melissa is like, nice, throw us under the bus. Siggy says they threw her under the bus by not apologizing first thing the next morning. Melissa and Teresa say, what?! at the exact same time, and it’s too funny. Melissa is shocked she wants them to apologize for being playful. In her interview, Melissa says that they didn’t ruin the night; Siggy did. Siggy goes blah-blah-blah about how she had this special cake made for Melissa, like it wasn’t going to get eaten in five minutes anyway. Delores thinks they should apologize, not necessarily for what they did, but because it upset Siggy, which doesn’t take much. Melissa asks why Siggy doesn’t apologize for the things she said, like calling them freakin’ animals, and she’ll have to explain they’re from New Jersey.

Siggy claims she never said that, and she remembers everything. We flash back to her saying that. Teresa says Delores didn’t have much to drink, and asks her if Siggy didn’t say that. Delores starts making it up as she goes along. She’s not saying Siggy didn’t say it, and has her back. In her interview, Teresa says Delores was like her sister, and isn’t backing her up. Delores claims she doesn’t remember, and Melissa says that means she’s pleading the fifth. Melissa says that Siggy also told them to eff themselves. Siggy wails why isn’t she allowed to have feelings? Margaret asks how she’d act in a real crisis (thank you), and who cries about a cake? Margaret calls her Soggy. In her interview, Melissa says she’s been called a lot worse names. Danielle says that since the cake was a gift to Melissa, she should be able to use it the way she wants to. Another good point. Siggy accuses her of kissing Teresa’s ass. She whines that she extended this invitation to everyone, and now they’re ganging up on her. She says they’re not getting it. Melissa says that she talks down to them, and Siggy accuses Melissa of always talking down to her. She’d expected her friends to have a certain level of class in a public place. Margaret says that Siggy caused several scenes, and we flash back to her screaming and hollering to people in the first restaurant they went to. Siggy says this is her town, and they’re acting like trash.

Melissa says that you never refer to a woman from Jersey as stupid or trash. Danielle is insulted that she used that word (and you don’t get more Jersey than her). Siggy starts saying trashy, trashy, trashy, and Melissa asks if she’s on drugs. Siggy says putting a little cake on each other’s faces was fine, but not throwing the whole thing. Melissa asks if doing it properly would have made it okay. Siggy tells her if that’s how it’s going to be, maybe they shouldn’t have dinner again. Melissa says okay, bye. Teresa follows her, saying the crab cakes were salty. Margaret and Danielle aren’t far behind. Way to break up a dinner party.

Siggy says she doesn’t give a sh*t. Delores says they started the weekend as close friends, and then two interlopers snuck in, Margaret and Danielle.

Next time, Siggy wants to pull Margaret’s pigtails out, Margaret calls Siggy a hypocrite, and Siggy is out to destroy Margaret.

This was a really good episode. There were the usual fights, but we got an unusually touching moment, and there were quite a few laughs.

🍸 Oh wow. I’d just been thinking about the time Andy Cohen had a Watch What Happens Live New Year’s Eve show. Giggy married Grandma Wrinkles, and it was one of the best New Year’s Eves I ever had. Sad, I know. For whatever reason, he said he’d never do another one, and I was bemoaning that, which is even sadder. Anyway, on tonight’s show, he said he’ll be hosting with Anderson Cooper this coming New Year’s Eve. I wasn’t totally listening, but I assume on CNN. Not quite the same thing, but it sounds intriguing. I also assume that he’s replacing Kathy Griffin, whose career no one killed except her, and that was long before the election.

🌟 I missed Star last week, and apparently missed a lot, because Benjamin Bratt is still alive, and still wants to produce the group. They weren’t down with that, but maybe they should have been, since latest producer Ayanna scheduled them to sing in a mall. It didn’t go well, and Alexandra dropped the mic (stand) all the way through one of the speakers, causing a power outage in the food court. I was kind of on Ayanna’s side here, since the girls complained about having to perform for a not-that-receptive audience. They should try off-Broadway, and perform for almost no audience. She told them it wasn’t what she meant by a smash performance, and as punishment, they had to be back-up singers for some dude. Star tried to get him to promote them, and that was a no, but it was a yes to getting busy with her later, where she threw him a no after getting him hot and bothered. Queen Latifah dancing at home with the girls to I’m Every Woman was all of us. Next week, another father for Star shows up.

📡 Quote of the night: I’m not throwing shade. I’d throw a palm tree at her ass if I thought it would work. – Miss Lawrence

Yes, I even took pictures of the TV…

Giggy&GrandmaWrinkles

Giggy Marries Grandma Wrinkles – 2010

Mar9

March 8, 2017 – Nina Testifies, a Renewed Star, a Brief Note & a Sad Note

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nelle is packing. She says there’s nothing left for her in Port Charles. She looks at the keyring that Michael gave her, and thinks about their time at the cabin.

Sonny comes by Michael’s office. He wants to apologize.

There’s a knock at Nelle’s door. It’s Carly. She says she’s dropping off Nelle’s last paycheck. She tells Nelle that there will be hell to pay if she comes near her family again.

When Valentin sees Nina, Nora reminds him to remain calm and stable. Nina says she’s Charlotte’s stepmother, and there to make a statement. She apologizes for being late. The judge tells her to take a seat, and tell them what she thinks is in Charlotte’s best interest.

Jordan tells Julian that they searched the basement, and there’s no sign of Olivia-J or Anna. Julian says he didn’t tell her the basement, he said under the hospital, and if Olivia finds out Anna is trailing her, there’s no telling what she’ll do.

Oooh! They replay “Duke’s” reincarnation. Olivia says it worked. Griff/Duke says because of her, he lives again. This is way cool.

Michael tells Sonny that it’s been a long day and he just wants to get home. Sonny doesn’t expect him to say all is forgiven, but he wants Michael to hear him out. He says Michael cared about Nelle, and Michael says he thought they were getting close. Michael tells Sonny that if he wants to apologize, it shouldn’t be to him.

Nelle tells Carly that her life is none of Carly’s business. Carly asks if Nelle made the lies up herself or did deadbeat Frank make them up? Nelle asks if he was such a deadbeat, why did he keep this, and shows her the rattle. Carly says he probably wanted to pawn it. She says he didn’t give a damn about her until she was grown-up, married, and rich

Nora is like, jackpot, but Valentin says we’ll see. Lulu tells Laura that it’s a disaster, but Laura says maybe not. She has faith things will work out like they’re supposed to. Nina says she wants to tell the court the truth about her marriage.

Anna tells Griff/Duke to stay away from Olivia-J. He says stay out of it; he owes his life to Olivia. Olivia says there were more incantations to be done, but Griff/Duke says her passion drew him back. He kisses her, and says she proved everyone wrong. Olivia sees Duke instead of Griff, and hugs him. Anna is like, wha…?

Jordan wonders what Olivia-J wants with the foundation of the hospital, and asks if Julian thinks something is buried there. Julian says he doesn’t know, but she’s obsessed. Jordan says they know she was obsessed with Duke, and asks if he thinks Griff is in danger. Julian says maybe.

Griff/Duke tells Olivia-J that she sacrificed everything to bring him back, and he doesn’t know how to make it up to her. Olivia is just happy he’s there. Griff gives Anna the eye when he embraces Olivia. He says that he and Olivia can leave there and be together forever. Olivia says she’s waited forever to hear those words, but what about Anna? They won’t have to worry for too long; she’s going to bleed to death while they’re goofing around.

Nina says when she and Valentin got together, they were strangers. Their relationship grew quickly, which was a surprise to her and everyone else. She says people saw their marriage as a sham, and nothing could be further from the truth. She loves him, and they got married because they love each other. In him, she sees a capacity to love and nurture that she never knew existed. He encouraged her to form a bond with Charlotte, and she loves her. She says Lulu is allowing her animosity toward Valentin to blind her to the truth. It would be a mistake to take Charlotte away from the father she loves and the home she knows.

Julian hears the door to his room open, and says he wants to be left alone. Winston, pretending to be a doctor, asks if he doesn’t have time for an old friend.

Griff/Duke says he’ll always love Anna, but his heart belongs to Olivia-J; the past is over. He says the best thing for all of them would be for Anna to leave and get the help she needs. Jordan looks around the basement and sees the fingerprints near the secret door.

Michael asks why Sonny would throw it all away. Sonny says he didn’t plan it, but on Thanksgiving night, Morgan was gone, and he couldn’t think straight. He thought he and Carly were done, and got drunk. Nelle saw the state he was in, and while they were putting Morgan in the ground, she worked herself in; it was a trap. Michael says she was plotting against them, being who they wanted her to be, so she could get close. Sonny says she fooled all of them to get at Carly. Michael says at the end, she tried to stop it, and he can see what could have been if she was the person she was pretending to be. Sonny says he’s lucky; the only real thing is her grudge against Carly. Michael says Sonny could have warned them; all he had to do is tell the truth.

Nelle says Carly wants to paint Frank in a bad light. He reached out to her, and she rejected him. Carly says she’s living in a fantasyland that Frank created. He only hit her up for cash. Nelle dumps out a bunch of letters out of her trinket box. They all say return to sender.

Lulu asks Diane if she can do something, and says Diane has to prove Valentin is unfit. She says she has an option, but it’s brutal and final, and there will be no room for compromise.

Nora thanks Nina. Her phone rings, and she steps away. Valentin tells Nina how grateful he is. She says she’s not done fighting with him about the secrets he’s keeping from her, but he and their marriage are worth the fight.

Diane wants to file a petition to remove Charlotte from Valentin’s home. He’s guilty of a felony – kidnapping his own daughter.

Griff/Duke tells Olivia-J that Anna has no place in their life. Anna says she’s not walking away. Griff/Duke says it’s for the best. Anna says he needs to take care of himself, and he says he will, good-by. Olivia says she can’t let that happen, and draws a gun that must have been in her shoe.

Winston tells Julian that he needs to tie up loose ends. They can’t risk Julian opening his mouth. He and Julian struggle on the bed, and Winston puts pillows over Julian’s head. Felix walks in and asks what’s going on, and Winston jets. Julian tells Felix to get Jordan.

Jordan is told Julian was attacked. She asks if it was Olivia-J, but learns it was a man posing as a doctor. She runs back upstairs.

Olivia-J says that Anna will go to the police. Griff/Duke tells her that they’ll be long gone. She says they can’t allow a witness, and she’s sorry, but Anna has to die.

Valentin says that’s absurd. Nora says he’s under no legal obligation to deal with this. He wants to straighten it out, and says he’s been Charlotte’s legal guardian since her birth. Diane says she thinks she can establish grounds, and that in the eyes of the law, kidnapping is a broad term. When in reference to custody, it can mean one parent denying the other contact. Nora says Valentin has gone out of his way to facilitate contact. Diane says recently, but when did he know that Lulu was Charlotte’s biological mother?

Nelle asks if these are the letters, and says that they were all sent back unopened. Carly says that Frank wanted cash, not bonding. Nelle says he was trying to support his family, and she knew that, because the first time she wrote him back. She told him if he needs to make ends meet, don’t look to her. Why should she care about him or his little brat? Nelle says she cared about his little brat when she needed a kidney for hers.

Michael asks why Sonny didn’t tell him the truth. Sonny says he didn’t want to add to Carly’s pain or burden any of them. Michael is like, this was better, huh? He says that Sonny watched for months, and was protecting himself, leaving the door open for Nelle to trash his family.

Nelle insists that Carly wanted this. She didn’t ask any questions, and the second Josslyn was safe, she was done.

Jordan gets the deets about the attack on Julian. She wonders why Winston would do Olivia-J’s bidding. Julian says she has a bunch of thugs that she orders around, and no one is safe.

Griff/Duke tells Olivia-J that the authorities might reverse what she’s done, and she’ll lose him again. Anna says she wouldn’t do anything to threaten his chances. Olivia says that Anna wants her locked up so she can have him. She tells Griff/Duke not to fight her. He says he understands it’s the only way, but he should be the one to pull the trigger; then he can be totally free to start over with her. She says he’s right, and she doesn’t want to jeopardize them having a life together. She hands him the gun and he points it at her.

Jordan asks Felix for anything he remembers. She says no one comes in or out of the hospital; GH is under lockdown.

Valentin tells the court that when he found out about the embryo, he knew it was Lulu’s egg. Diane says he denied Lulu a relationship with her daughter, and he’s deliberately manipulated the situation. Nora objects to Diane manipulating the facts. The judge says she’s going to deliberate in chambers, but it will be quick. Lulu thinks she might get to take Charlotte home, but you know what they say about counting those Charlottes chickens.

Laura tells Nina that she obviously didn’t take their talk to heart, but Nina says she did, more than Laura knows. Laura hopes Nina will be able to live with the choice. So much for having faith in things turning out the way they’re supposed to. Nora tells Diane that her petition will be denied, but kudos for the argument. Diane says she doesn’t know what they do in Llanview, but in Port Charles, they go for the kill.

Griff/Duke tells Olivia-J that she needs help. Olivia says he told her that they belong together, and Anna says she belongs in an institution. She wants Duke alive more than anyone, but he’s never coming back. Olivia flashes back to her, Duke, and the rest of us being young. Olivia starts to cry, and Griff says he’s not his father. Olivia rushes him, and he ends up dropping the gun when he falls.

Jordan secures the building. Felix sees Winston going into a stairwell, and tells Jordan. Jordan radios in that she’s in pursuit of a suspect. No one is to move until they get her signal.

Anna drags Olivia-J off of Griff, who picks up the gun. Olivia says it’s not over. She knows something that they don’t.

Sonny accepts that his family hates him. Michael says he hates being disappointed, and Sonny is better than this. Sonny says he’ll do everything to prove he’s better. He says Michael has a gift of forgiveness; he has a way of letting go and moving on. He begs Michael not to do it with Nelle. She’s dangerous, a liar, and a user. He asks Michael to promise not to let her back in.

Carly tells Nelle that she believed Josslyn’s donor was Jake. She begged her best friend to make the sacrifice. She has no idea how Josslyn ended up with Nelle’s kidney, but she didn’t approach Frank. Nelle asks if she thinks it’s a coincidence. If she didn’t arrange it, who did? Carly says Frank did a number on Nelle, and it’s not her fault, but what she did to Carly’s family is her fault. If she’d told the truth, Carly would have helped, but she chose to sabotage Carly’s family, so keep packing. If she messes with them again, she’ll find out what payback really feels like. Carly leaves, and Nelle shoves the letters back in box. She looks at the keyring, and says she thinks it’s time to give this town another chance.

In the hallway, Carly tells someone on the phone that they need to talk now.

The hearing is back in session. The judge says that the unique circumstances of Charlotte’s conception puts the court in a unique position. Clearly both parties want what’s best for her, but it’s unclear who can provide the best situation. The court will arrange for Charlotte to meet with a psychologist to determine her wishes. Diane’s petition is denied. She tells Valentin if he pulls a stunt like that again, she’ll make the decision herself.

Valentin asks what Nora thinks, and she says it’s a good sign. She hopes neither one of them have skeletons in the closet. Diane thinks the meeting will show that Charlotte needs her mother.

Jordan is back in the basement, and calls out that she’s armed. She looks at the fingerprints again, and opens the door. Before she can enter, she gets whacked in the back of the head with a pipe.

Anna tells Olivia-J that it’s over. Olivia says that if she gets taken away, Anna won’t know what she did to Robin. I have to admit, in all this craziness, I forgot all about Robin.

Tomorrow, Olivia-J tells Anna that history is coming back to haunt her, Finn makes a deal with Brad, Nelle tells Josslyn that they’re no longer friends, and Carly questions Michael about his feelings for Nelle.

🌟 Much to my delight, Star has been renewed for a second season. Queen Latifah’s hair alone gives me life, and I’m loving seeing Naomi Campbell as a grown-up actress. They never cease to come up with interesting guest stars either, tonight’s offering being Paris Jackson as a photographer, and Big Boy as himself, hoping to sign the girls. Because of the latter, the girls set up their manager, Jahil (Benjamin Bratt), because they want out of their contract. In an excellent scene, Cotton (Amiyah Scott) put on male drag so that she could cash some stolen checks. Brava and bravo! Lead singer Star’s boyfriend, who did not want her to go on tour, hit her again, and I’m hoping that she calls it quits this time. The characters all seem real, so it was an easy show to invest in. Next week is the season finale, where we’ll see if the girls win the contest they’ve been working toward. If they don’t, I might be as disappointed as they’ll be. I’m also hoping a tour doesn’t mean we don’t see the home town characters as much.

😢 Worth mentioning. Sadly, Teresa Giudice’s, mother passed away last week. (At the age of 66 – this is getting scary!) What makes it even more poignant is Teresa having to go it alone, without husband Joe, who is serving time. I know, I know, but I’ve watched them for so long, they seem like cousins that I might not like very much, but they’re family, so I invite them to Thanksgiving.

🍑 Southern Charm: How They Got Here was what I suspected. Here, is where we left off, with yet another argument at a big party, and it was basically clips from the previous seasons. The Bravo milk-train rolls on…

Nov14

November 13, 2016 – The World Behind the Mirror is Revealed, the NJ Reunion Drags On & Negan Shakes Down Alexandria

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Snow talks to David while he sleeps. She says maybe this is their normal now. Regina blames herself. She says she’s the only one who can hurt the queen, but Emma doesn’t want her to engage. Emma says her own sentence is already death, and Henry needs one of them to be there.

Snow is about to kiss David, and makes a face like she smells something weird. She looks at the mirror and then throws something at it. The Evil Queen is watching them.

A split screen shows us how Snow and David are living now. They leave notes for each other and videos on the phone. He leaves her flowers all the time. I’m thinking this is a great way to avoid any marital conflict, and wondering how I can arrange this for myself.

Emma visits Regina and asks if she has anything. She says she got an idea when Snow broke the mirror. They might not be able to hurt the queen, but they can imprison her in the world behind the mirror. Henry volunteers to be bait.

Henry meets the Evil Queen on the beach. She tells him that she knows he’s upset about his parents, but someday he’ll understand that you have to make hard choices. She talks about when they used to come there and feed the seagulls. She says he was afraid of them, and he tells her that he’s not afraid of anything now, especially her. He disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. Regina and Emma show up with a mirror, but the Evil Queen tells them that it’s the wrong one because she switched them. She flips the tables (or mirror, as it were) on them, and they end up in the world behind the mirror. The Evil Queen says she hopes they enjoy where they’re going, because it’s where they’re spending the rest of their lives.

Emma wakes up and sees Storybrooke in a mirror. She’s in a room with mirrors everywhere, and calls out for Regina. The camera pans out and it’s a stone room within a forest of mirrors. Emma sees Granny in one of them, and tries to get her attention. Regina appears and tells her they’re all one-way mirrors. They have no way to communicate. She says it was the perfect prison for the Evil Queen since she has no friends anyway. Emma says people might not be able to break out, but maybe someone can break in. They think Henry is their answer.

The Evil Queen as Regina tells Henry that it worked and she’s finally free. Hook asks about Emma, and the queen tells him that Emma is driving to NYC to find the Dragon. She directs Hook to a fake voicemail. Snow says they finally got rid of the monster, but the queen says maybe not so much of a monster. She says they have someone else to worry about – Henry has to get ready for a dance. She says she’ll make sure everything works out for him.

Belle tells Zelena that Gold has closed his shop. She says he’s after her baby and she needs Zelena to help stop him; they’re both mothers and know what it’s like to care about someone who lets them down. Belle says she’s seen Zelena make portals before. Zelena says Gold has the wand she needs under lock and key, but Belle says she knows who can get it.

They meet with Jasmine and Aladdin, who claims to be the best thief anywhere. Jasmine doesn’t want him to get involved, but Zelena says it’s their fault that Gold is in possession of the shears in the first place. Belle says if Aladdin is any kind of a hero, he’ll help her escape the beast.

The Evil Queen visits Gold. She tries to come on to him, but he’s like, not today, he’s working. She says she needs the Hammer of Festus, which makes me think of Festivus for the rest of us. He says the hammer’s magic is only useful to someone who doesn’t have any. She says she wants it for Henry. Gold says villains don’t get happy endings, but the queen says she’s looking for a beginning. He asks what she has to offer him in return. She says now they’re on the same team, aren’t they? He tells her to remember her mother’s lesson – love is weakness. She says it can be, but it can also be a weapon, and she’s going to use it on her son.

Hook keeps leaving messages for Emma. He says he knows phones work in NYC and something doesn’t feel right. He sees the glass from the mirror on the beach. The Evil Queen appears and he asks what she’s done with Emma and Regina, but she says she’s not answering his question and blows him back with some magic.

Emma and Regina are getting nowhere, and Regina says they have to zero in on something. Emma suggests Granny’s, where Henry is meeting Violet before the dance. They see Henry adjust his tie, and they bang on the mirror. The Evil Queen as Regina calls to him. Emma says he has no idea they’re even gone. Henry tells the queen that he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Violet. The queen says Violet is a nice girl, but still a commoner and she’s lucky to have him. She says they might go back to her castle one day, and he’ll be king. Henry says he thinks he should finish high school first, but she says it’s not always about actually sitting on a throne, it’s about how you carry yourself. She tells him girls notice these things and to go off and be kingly. He leaves and the Evil Queen looks into the mirror and smiles.

Henry meets Violet. She asks if the homecoming dance is like a ball. He tells her something more important is happening, and to keep looking at him. He says that the woman behind him isn’t Regina, it’s the Evil Queen. He tells Violet to think of a reason to leave. She says she isn’t crazy about her dress, and wants to show him another one in the shop window. He tells her she’s a great liar. She says thanks, and they leave.

Emma and Regina are upset about Henry. Suddenly, Emma thinks someone else is with them. Regina says she doesn’t think so, but the Dragon comes out. He was imprisoned by the Evil Queen. He says everything is off balance, the dark and the light, a lesson sometimes learned at great cost. Emma says they’re worried abbot their son, and he says he once lost a daughter and paid the price.

Aladdin sneaks around Gold’s shop. Gold is doing some spinning (on a spinning wheel, not a bike). He hears something, but it’s just a windup toy. Aladdin finds the wand.

The Dragon takes Emma and Regina to another room in the mirror forest. Emma says she was looking for him. He says unfortunately, breaking their curse is beyond his ability. He tells them that Sidney was working on a way out, and points to a broken mirror. He thinks together they can mend it. Regina fixes one of the cracks by touching it and starts messing with the glass pieces.

Henry talks to a mirror. He says if his moms are in there, say something. The Evil Queen overhears and says it’s not like leaving a voicemail. She tells him that a gentleman never ditches his date. He says that Violet is somewhere safe, and he realized his mom wasn’t his mom. She brings up how she once helped him be brave, and says he could be great, but not if he’s a wimp. He says she can’t Darth Vader him and he’ll never join her. She says she’s not really evil, despite the name. She’s not a hero either, but a leader, and they do what’s necessary. She brings out a heart.

The Dragon tells them Henry is safe. Emma and Regina realize it’s the Evil Queen speaking through him. She’s also in the mirror and tells them that she has the Dragon’s heart. The Dragon doubles over. He says he doesn’t want to do this, and red smokes envelops him. When the smoke clears, he’s turned into a huge dragon.

The Evil Queen says to kill them, and the dragon Dragon goes crazy, flying all around and breathing fire. The queen gives Henry the hammer and says he can save them by smashing the Dragon’s heart. Henry says the Dragon is innocent, and it won’t make him hers. She says he’ll understand more of who she is though. He says if Regina dies so does she, and she says that’s how certain she is he’ll do it.

Emma and Regina hide behind some pillars. They discuss being mothers. Emma says neither one of them are sacrificing themselves, and Regina says they’ll do this together. She comes out and distracts the dragon. Henry says if the Evil Queen is his mom, not to make him do this. She says her own mother proved that sometimes all you need is a little push. The dragon comes after Emma and Regina. They cry out for help, but Henry smashes the mirror instead of the heart.

Good choice. The dragon breathes fire on the mirror, and Emma and Regina pop through. The Evil Queen says they made Henry soft, and accuses him of hiding behind them. He says he’s not hiding, and strong families make you stronger than you would be by yourself, but she’ll never understand because she’ll always be alone.

Hook grabs the queen from behind with his hook and tells Her Majesty to shove off. The Evil Queen tells Henry that she only wants what’s best for him, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Jasmine tells Aladdin she’s proud of him. Why do they both have British accents? Is Agribah lost in the UK? She says she was so focused on finding Agribah, she almost stopped him from helping Belle. Along with stealing the wand, he lifted a genie lamp, and gives it to her. She says the genie is gone, but he says he’s free now, but whoever’s inside might be able to help them find Agribah

Belle brings the wand to Zelena. Gold pops in right behind her. He says he can’t let Belle take their child away. He puts a spell on her and says no matter where she goes, he’ll find her. She calls him a beast, but he says it’s love. She says next time, she’ll run so far and so fast, he’ll never set eyes on his child. He says Rumpelstiltskin takes children, and she says tell your first son that.

Gold falls to the floor. Zelena says his heart only beats because of her, and if he hurts her, he hurts himself. He struggles up and says they’re far from done. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. I guess a lot of the smoke budget was blown on the dragon Dragon, so they couldn’t afford another color.

Snow writes to David. She says she can’t do this anymore and she misses him. They switch places. David takes the crumpled paper from her hand and says he misses her too.

Violet goes to Granny’s. Henry apologizes for them missing the dance. She says they had their first date there, and it’s better than the dance. Henry says she’s seemed distant, but she says it’s not him; she’s having a hard time adjusting to school. She feels out of place like the kids in the John Hughes movie, and doesn’t know if shes a jock or a nerd. He says he should have started with Sixteen Candles, and tells her that she doesn’t need a label; she’s Violet. He asks her to dance

Emma tells Regina that Henry is going to be okay with or without her. Regina says the queen was wrong about him. She was so worried about how they’re going to raise him, she didn’t realize that they already had.

Gold looks at the sonogram picture. The Evil Queen tells him that children rebel; it’s their job, but it’s the parents job to make them strong. Gold asks how far she’s willing to go, and she says she’ll do anything. He suggests they might both get their happy ending and kisses her. She says they are on the same page this time, and he says for now. But there’s one more thing to take care of. He tells her that Zelena has become a bit of a problem, and he wants her dead.

Next time – in 2 weeks – Gold becomes a beast who goes too far, and Belle might lose her baby.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion Part Two

Teresa claims she had a gut feeling that Jacqueline set her up. Andy takes a break. Jacqueline says no wonder Teresa is so angry with her. In the dressing room, Chris tells Jacqueline that Teresa is crazy.

Chris and Joe #2 join the group. Andy says that was quite an accusation. Teresa says she doesn’t feel Jacqueline was responsible, but she dabbled in it. She went to “certain people” getting information, and started the ball rolling. Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what they think. Siggy says she’s been friends with Jacqueline for 2½ years, and Dolores says she doesn’t think that’s something Jacqueline would do. Chris says they have a mutual friend who called him about a possible Federal investigation, then Chris called another friend who had some ideas on how to circumvent things. He approached Joe #1 who told them to f-off, so he washed his hands of it. He asks when Teresa is going to take responsibility.

Jacqueline drags Melissa into it, saying that Melissa was giving her information. Melissa says she thought of her as a girlfriend who she told things to in confidence. She warns the others that Jacqueline will spill their secrets. Jacqueline tries to get Chris involved and Melissa points out that she doesn’t need to drag Joe #2 into her business. Chris says blah-blah-blah about how they used to be friends. He claims Jacqueline tried to get everyone to be friends when Teresa was on the outs with Melissa, but he told her one day she’d be the one on the outside.

Joe #2 thinks this is petty stuff, and that his family destroyed him. He says he was a mess for a while. and we flash back to some choice moments like the christening party. Chris talks about how he met Jacqueline, and somehow the subject of Jacqueline being a stripper pops up again, but doesn’t linger. Chris insists that Jacqueline never meant any ill will toward anybody.

Andy lightens the mood by saying sometimes he thinks he needs a Jersey translator, and shows some clips of “Jerseyisms,” which are more like Teresaisms. Like when Teresa confused an enema with edamame. Dolores confuses things further by telling her that it’s really a colonic. Teresa blames everything on having had braces on the back of her teeth. Jacqueline admits to it being an endearing quality.

Andy talks about Italian families and how it’s sometimes like being at war. He touches briefly on the rift between Teresa and her brother, but moves quickly on to Teresa coming home and how even prison didn’t bring her down. We see clips of the family, and of Joe leaving. Andy says he was surprised to hear that Teresa might have to sell the house. She says she thought it might be good to downsize, but the kids don’t want to leave, so she’s working hard to keep them there. Andy asks what she learned in prison. She talks about the wonderful women she met there, how they’re not bad people, and actually uses the word prison. She says it really wasn’t exactly a camp, and a lot of it was disgusting. She says she took responsibility, but she really just signed a paper. Andy asks if she blames Joe #1, but she says he took full responsibility, telling the court she had nothing to do with it, but since she’s a celebrity, it went the way it did. We see all the paparazzi screeching at her. Melissa says if Joe #1 could have done her time, he would have. I honestly believe that is the way it went. I think she had no clue what she was signing – why would she have read it, since she trusted her husband? And I think she was made an example of because she’s a reality star.

A viewer remarks that Teresa doesn’t seem to have remorse, and she’s like, what more do you want? They talk about Joe #1 now being inside, and how he almost has a six-pack now. Andy asks about Teresa’s insistence that Joe never cheated, and she says show her proof. They talk about Teresa’s going away party when she left the clink, and how Gia has a boyfriend now. Andy suggests she date Dolores’s Frankie, and Teresa says you never know.

Andy asks if Teresa thinks Joe will keep it together, and she says he is already. He asks about the possibility of Joe being deported. She says because it’s a legal matter, she can’t really discuss it and they’ll see what happens. He asks her why it’s something she doesn’t want to discuss, and she says there’s no need to give it life. Amen to that. Of course she doesn’t want to discuss it. Geez. That’s possibly the stupidest question Andy has ever asked anyone.

Chris is back, although I hadn’t realized he left. Andy asks why Teresa doesn’t want to deal with her cousins. Teresa says they’re toxic; they never called or wrote once, and Rosie really hadn’t been there for Joe. Jacqueline says that Teresa wouldn’t even sit on the same couch with them, and Teresa basically tells her to mind her own business. Siggy says Jacqueline just wanted to bring the family together, and Teresa says she doesn’t see it that way. Siggy says Teresa had different priorities than dealing with her cousins.

A viewer asks about Melissa and Kathy, but Melissa says they just drifted apart. Jacqueline tries to voice an opinion, but Melissa shuts it down, saying Jacqueline knows it’s true.

Next up, the nightmare in Vermont. We flash back to all that, and I want to smack Jacqueline’s stupid face all over again. Andy asks why Melissa invited Robyn and Kristina, and she says they were friends. Teresa talks about Jacqueline antagonizing Robyn, but Jacqueline says she was calling Robyn’s bluff. Chris says Jacqueline thought it was going to be a time of genuinely mending fences and was disappointed. Which I guess gave her leeway to scream at whoever she wanted to. Dolores thinks Melissa should have come to Jacqueline’s rescue, and Melissa says after Jacqueline barked at her like she was one of her kids, she didn’t answer Jacqueline fast enough. Andy asks Melissa if she had four nose jobs. Melissa barely starts to talk and Jacqueline jumps in with her two cents. Melissa says it’s her secret to tell, and wants to know why it’s Jacqueline’s business.

Jacqueline says blah-blah-blah, and claims Teresa went to jail for lying. Melissa calls Jacquleine a sh*tty friend. Teresa says she has a clown’s face, and that she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing with rabies. She calls Jacqueline disgusting, and Jacqueline acts like she doesn’t care, but Teresa says she does and that’s why she keeps coming back.

Andy asks Joe #2 why Jacqueline and Melissa had problems after Teresa came back. Joe says Jacqueline got weird, and Melissa says she acted paranoid and never believed that Teresa could change. Jacqueline questions whether or not Melissa and Teresa are really friends. Melissa says when Jacqueline lies, she turns the sound off. Chris claims that Teresa messed up their relationship with Joe #2 and Melissa. Melissa says there was a time they were friends, but Jacqueline ‘s mind messed with her and she started to question things. Then she called a magazine with stories about them, and that ended it.

We flash back on more of Jacqueline’s idiocy. Andy brings up the lunch that went south. He asks Jacqueline why she even went. Jacqueline says her intention was to talk to everyone one on one. Andy says that seems rational and logical, but that wasn’t how it came off. Jacqueline claims that Teresa and Melissa came in with an attitude. Dolores insists they were still angry about Vermont, but then stands corrected after they tell her that wasn’t the case and we see a clip.

Andy asks if Jacqueline’s approach had been different, would Teresa have accepted it. Teresa says she would have. Andy asks what about Melissa, and the lovely Jacqueline squeaks that he was going to talk to her. Melissa points out that Jacqueline was never a friend in the first place. Chris claims that Jacqueline feels too deeply for people, and when she’s hurt, she goes to extremes. Okay.

Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what it would take to heal the friendship. Dolores suggests a lobotomy and Siggy says you have to put gas in a relationship to keep it moving forward and this tank is out. We flash back to some better times. In an old interview, Chris says they have a strong bond, whether they admit it or not. Jacqueline says it’s hard, and Teresa says no matter what, she’ll always have a special place in her heart for Nicholas. Jacqueline says they’ve both said and done things that are terrible, but Teresa says she’s never done anything to intentionally hurt Jacqueline. They had great times, but something went sour. Dolores says once someone apologizes, you can’t go back and say you don’t trust them. I dunno about that.

Andy brings up Jacqueline being hit hard when Joe #1 went away. She says just because she’s angry doesn’t mean she doesn’t have compassion. She starts crying. Andy asks if Teresa felt warm toward Jacqueline when she saw that, and Teresa says she did at the time. Dolores insists that neither one of them would turn the other away if there was an acutal need.

Andy talks about them leaning on one another. He asks Jacqueline if she was surprised that everyone was so supportive about Nicholas, and they all start crying. Teresa and Melissa hold hands. Melissa says even as angry as she is, she doesn’t like to see anyone hurt. Siggy says they’re all the best moms ever. Everyone agrees. Siggy says she loves them all, but she’s never going to Vermont again. She asks if everyone would do a group hug for her. Andy wants to see one too. Jacqueline says everyone doesn’t have to be friends, and Teresa begs her not to talk to people who want to hurt her. Dolores thinks they should stop talking before it goes bad, and Andy says let’s move forward.

They all hug, including Andy.

Best quote of the reunion: If you need to remove the knives, then there should not be a lunch. —- Dolores

The Walking Dead

Michonne stares at Rick while he sleeps, but it’s not exactly a loving look. She gets out of bed and gets her sword. And kills Rick. Just kidding. She messes around in the fireplace and brings out a gun. She quietly puts it into her duffel bag and leaves. Rick sees her and who knows what he thinks.

Michonne walks across a field to an abandoned truck, and gets on top of it. She surveys the land and waits.

Rick tends to Judith. Eugene crunches numbers or whatever he does. Rosita asks him to open the gate. Spencer asks if Eugene wants to come, but he says no. Rosita says no surprise. Eugene says he’s getting a music player back together and doing his part.

The Whistling Man Negan pounds on the gate, telling the little pigs to let him in. Is he going to huff and puff? A guy opens the inner gate and asks who he is. Negan is like, are you joking? and then Rick joins them. He tells Rick don’t make him have to ask. Rick says they were told a week and he’s early. Rick opens the gate and Negan says he missed him.

Negan kills a zombie with Lucille and says “easy peasy lemon squeezie.” We already know he’s one of those funny guy villains. He’s brought Daryl along with him, and says he just took care of a dead prick that could have killed them all, instead of bashing someone’s head in. He hands Lucille to Rick and strolls into Alexandria.

Negan says things like hot diggity dog, and that Alexandria is an embarrassment of riches. He tells Rick that they’ll have plenty to offer up. Rick tries to talk to Daryl, but Negan tells him no, and the same goes for everyone. Negan is so ridiculously satisfied with himself, he’s almost not scary. He tells Rick they’ll decide what they take and his workers move out into the town. Negan says they’re going to search the houses a bit and keep the process moving. He asks if Rick is going to show him around.

Rosita starts to go back to the car. Dwight asks where she’s going, and then says he doesn’t care. He takes the weapons from the car. He tells Rosita he has a job for her. Get Daryl’s bike. She says it’s not there and he says she knows where it is. She starts to leave and he takes her cap, telling her she can go now. She and Spencer get back in the car. Dwight dumps out her water and says don’t take too long.

Michonne is still at her post on the truck. She aims her gun at a zombie. She shoots and misses. She shoots again and misses. She practically unloads the gun. Either she’s a really bad shot or the site is off. She splits the zombie’s head open with her sword. I’m sure that’s more satisfying anyway. She walks through the woods and sees a dead deer. I’d eat the whole thing right there before I’d bring it back for Negan to steal.

Some of Negan’s people bring out a ratty chair. Negan is pleased, and says they’re reasonable people once you get to know them. Daryl follows him around silently. One of the guy’s wants to show Negan something. It’s Rick in the old video that Deanna took. He looks all Jeremiah Johnson, and Negan says he wouldn’t have wanted to mess with that guy, but it’s not Rick anymore. He asks what happened to the sick girl, referring to Maggie, and asks if she was married to number two. He tells Rick to be careful with how he looks at him, and goes on about good looking widows. He says he’d love to see her. Father Gabriel asks if he wants to pay his respects, and Negan says he’s freaky as sh*t, sneaking up on him like that. Negan assumes Maggie didn’t make it. He says it didn’t need to happen, but Daryl forced his hand. He was going to ask her to come back with him.

While Negan is prattling on, there’s a shot from somewhere. It’s Carl telling the guys to put stuff back. Rick tells him to put the gun down. Carl says they’re taking all the medicine. He tells Negan that he should go before he finds out how dangerous they really are. Negan asks if Carl just threatened him. Rick says to put the gun down, but Negan tells him they’re having a conversation. Negan tells Carl he likes him and doesn’t want to go hard proving a point. He says half and half is what it is. He asks if Carl wants him to prove how serious he is…again. Carl gives Rick the gun and Rick gives it to Negan.

Negan is reminded how many guns they have. He says this emotional outburst has made it clear he can’t allow that, and they’re all his now. He asks Rick where his guns are.

Negan shakes down Olivia at the armory. She says she keeps track of everything like the rations and the guns. Negan says they have slim pickin’s as far as food goes, and they’re no good to him if they starve, so for now they can keep their food. He says is a thank you too much to ask? but Rick says nothing. Negan says he knows they started off on the wrong foot, but Rick forced his hand. He says he’s reasonable if people cooperate, and asks if Rick is cooperating. He wants to know if there are any guns waiting for their moment. Rick says the guns are all in the armory to the best of his knowledge, and Negan says he’s counting on that.

Rosita and Spencer go out to the forest. Spencer looks under a pile of branches and says it’s still there. It’s Daryl’s bike. He says he knows it sucks, but this is their life now, this is where Rick got them. He says maybe if Rick had thought it through, it would be different. People might still be with them. I’m not a huge Rick fan, but he’s being just a little harsh. Rosita trots into the woods.

Negan tells Rick he thinks their attangement is going to work just fine. He wonders if Rick has been taking care of his guns. He aims one at Daryl, who doesn’t react, but shoots out a window. Some guy brings out a bazooka. Negan says he’s going to have fun with it. A woman tells Negan they’re short two guns. Rick says they had some people leave and maybe the guns are with them. Negan asks if Olivia sucks at her job, but she says the inventory is correct. He asks if she knows where the guns are and that he’s disappointed. It shows that someone isn’t on board and he can’t have that. He says he doesn’t enjoy killing women, but it was Olivia’s responsibiltiy. He badgers her and she starts to cry.

Rick’s people gather at the church and he tells everyone he thought of hiding some of the guns, but what if the Saviors found them or they had the guns on them when they ran into one of them? It doesn’t matter how many bullets they have, it isn’t enough. He says hiding guns isn’t the answer anymore. He asks who has the two they’re looking for or who knows where they are? He says if they don’t find them, Negan will kill Olivia. A guy asks why they care and Rick asks if he has them, but he doesn’t. He says most of them weren’t there; they didn’t have to watch. If they give Negan what he wants, they live in peace. Another guy gets up and asks how they’re getting out of this. Rick says there is no way out of this. He’s not in charge anymore. Negan is. He asks again who has the guns. Eugene says not everyone is there.

Rosita slinks trough the forest following some zombies. Spencer calls for her. She hides behind a tree and takes the zombies out with a knife. I don’t know if there’s a purpose or she’s just getting out her aggression. She impales one’s head on the end of a log. Ooh. She took a gun off of him. But it’s empty. Rosita tells Spencer that Negan is going to take all their guns and asks if he’s going to tell. She says this is not their life and he walks away.

Rick watches Negan sitting with Olivia. He starts tearing the place apart. Gabriel comes in and says he feels like it’s going to work out. They’ll find the guns, get through today, and find a way to beat this. He has faith in Rick. He says things change; they weren’t always friends. He asks if Michonne has them, but Rick says she doesn’t have what they’re looking for. He thanks Gabriel for his quick thinking about Maggie.

Aaron tells Rick there’s nothing so far. They all split up to look elsewhere. Rick opens a floor grate and finds a lot of stuff, like bouncy ball, a can of beans, and whiskey. He pulls out a sack that has two guns in it. He brings them outside. Some guy is bothering Enid about keeping some balloons, making her say please a bunch of times. A-hole.

Rick gives Negan the guns. Negan says funny how a little thing like holy sh*t someone is going to die, lights a fire under everyone. He asks where Rick found them. I’d tell him it was Maggie’s house. Might as well make her the scapegoat since she’s supposed to be dead anyway.

Negan’s people start to pull out. Negan tells Rick he’s got a helluva place. Negan sees Michonne out of the corner of his eye. Rick asks for a second. Negan says no at first, and then smiles. Rick goes in, and Michonne sees him holding Lucille. Rick says he needs the rifle. He says he knows it’s in the bag and that she was out practicing. He says they have to give up their guns. If Negan finds them, someone dies, and he’s not losing anyone else. He asks if she’ll let him give the guns to Negan.

Michonne comes out with the deer like she was hunting. Rick gives Negan the gun. Negan says this is something to build a relationship on. He tells Rick that he’s special. Rick asks if Daryl can stay. Negan says, not happening, but amends that to maybe Daryl can plead his case and sway him.

Daryl says nothing. Negan says Rick tried. Now he has to get over that tall wall and earn for him. They’ll be back soon and Rick had better have something interesting for them, or Lucille will have her way. Someone will die, and no more magic guns. Michonne throws down the deer, and Negan says he loves a gal who buys him dinner and doesn’t expect him to put out.

Dwight takes Daryl’s bike and throws Rosita’s hat back to her. He asks if they found anything else, and she says just his dead friend. He rides off on Daryl’s bike. He tells Daryl to just say the word and he can have it back, but Daryl remains silent.

Negan tells Rick that nobody died. He thinks he and Rick can find their understanding. He asks if Rick wants him to go, and Rick says that would be good. He tells Rick to say the two magical words, and Rick says thank you. Negan is like, no, thank you, because he’s cuckoo.

Another zombie comes by and Negan says they need his help. He tells Rick they’re going to both come out winners and to watch his form. Rick tightens his grip on Lucille. Negan kills the zombie with a candlestick. (It was Negan in Alexandria with the candlestick.) Negan says win win, and to clean the candlestick up for next time.

Negan stats to leave, and says how careless of him, going back for his bat. He wonders why Rick would want Lucille after what she did, and thanks him for him being accommodating. He tells Rick that he just shoved his d*ck down Rick’s throat and Rick thanked him for it. Finally, they leave. Daryl looks at Rick from the back of the truck.

Rick tells Spencer that they were going to kill Olivia over two guns that were missing, and he found them in Spencer’s house. He doesn’t fault him for having the guns, but the food and liquor? He calls Spencer weak, saying they got lucky this time, and Spencer says they should have made a deal when they could. He asks if Glenn and Abe were lucky too. Rick tells him that if he says something like that again, he’ll knock Spencer’s teeth down his throat.

Rosita confronts Spencer about the guns. He says he had them for a while because he didn’t trust Rick. He says he was worried about Rick being in charge, and she said it already, that this doesn’t have to be their life. He drives away, and she takes a gun out of the wheel well of another car.

Rick fixes up a bed on the floor since the mattresses were all taken. Michonne says the rifle belonged to the Saviors and wasn’t on the list. He asks if she has more, and she says no. She says everything they have, they got from fighting for it. Rick says he made a choice and Negan has the numbers. She says what about Hilltop, but he tells her they still outnumber them. He says if they play by the rules, they’ll have some kind of life. Michonne says what kind?

Rick talks about Shane and how he took care of Carl when Rick was out of commission in the beginning. He says Shane hooked up with Rick’s wife because they thought he was dead. He says he loves Judith, but she isn’t his. He had to accept that to keep her alive. He hopes he can raise her and protect her and teach her to survive. He says he had to accept how they live now to keep everyone else alive. He tells Michonne that she has to accept this – they all do – or it wont’ work. Michonne says she’ll try.

Michonne goes back to the abandoned truck. She hears something and looks in the distance. She gets down and walks across the field. She sees a smoldering pile of gravestones and starts hyperventilating.

Rosita picks up a shell casing. She takes it to Eugene and asks him to make her a bullet.

Next time, Maggie is at Hilltop and at risk, Carl is done, and Jesus is back (no, not that Jesus).

 

Nov7

November 6, 2016 – Two Cursed Hearts on Once, a Not Yet Broken Daryl on Dead & Continuing Conflicts on the NJ Reunion

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

A breeze blows through the bedroom as Snow and David sleep. Suddenly, Snow finds herself in the middle of the forest. The Evil Queen asks if she remembers her 15th birthday. She got a pony that was just another loyal subject and she’d said it was her best day ever.. The Evil Queen says Snow’s father always made sure Snow got more than she wanted, and now the queen wants what she’s always wanted – Snow’s heart in her hand. She says since David has half of Snow’s heart, she wants that too.

Snow says there’s a protection spell on both of them. The Evil Queen says they’ll hand their hearts over willingly. She shows Snow something terrible in a bottle. She tells Snow that they have twelve hours to figure it out or the whole town will get a taste of it. The Evil Queen disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke, and Snow examines the bottle.

The Evil Queen tells Zelena she’s finally getting her revenge on Snow, and David will be thrown into the bargain too. Zelena asks if Rumpel is helping her. The Evil Queen says they’re old friends.

Back in the day, Snow sells a piece of jewelry because she needs the cash…er, coppers. David looks for his mother’s lost lamb (is his mom’s name Mary?), but can’t find it. She says the way things are going, they’re going to have to admit defeat and sell the farm. David goes off to find a buyer for the farm. He’s going to the same port town that Snow is.

In the forest, Snow tears down a wanted poster with her face on it, and the Blue Fairy warns her to get out of the way. They nearly get creamed by an ax. Snow says it’s the Woodcutter, who is als oa bounty hunter. Snow says the forst is no place for her. She’s sold everything and has just enough to get away from The Evil Queen. She’s heading to the nearest port town.

In Storybrooke, Snow explains the bottle of trouble to the others. Emma’s hand shakes. She tells them that the Oracle said things could change as they went along, but the only certainty is her death. Regina tests what’s in the bottle on a tree. It goes all weird, loses it’s leaves and gets bigger. She says it’s water from the River of Lost Souls, and it proves that the Evil Queen is working with Gold. She says if Snow and David don’t give the queen their hearts, she’ll destroy the whole town. Snow wonders if this is the path to Emma’s death. David tells her not to give up. She says she’ll never do that, but the Evil Queen might have finally gotten them.

David’s dog, Wilby, brings him a cup. Wilby leads him to a tiny carriage. A traveling merchant comes out and says David has his cup. He says he was sleeping there so no one would find him. It turns out they’re going the same way, so the merchant offers David a ride. He’s not really a merchant though.

The Blue Fairy tells Snow that everyone loves her, and that love is the most powerful thing of all. Snow says love doesn’t hold its value and she can’t afford to invest in it. She says what can change her life is a ticket out. The Blue Fairy tells her to be careful, and that danger can seem harmless at first.

Fast forward, and Belle wishes she could help, but she’s looked through all her books at can’t find anything to counteract the water. The Blue Fairy, known as Mother Superior in Storybrooke, joins them and says she has nothing either. She thinks there might be some magic to imprison the Evil Queen in a sapling inspired by true love. She believes it’s lost somewhere in Storybrooke. She tells them that there’s a beckoning spell, but it won’t be invisible to Gold and the Evil Queen, so it will be a race. Regina says there might be more between the queen and Gold than just business. Regina says she’d always had chemistry with Rumpel and they can use it to their advantage.

Zelena gets a note from the Evil Queen to meet her at Gold’s shop. Regina peeks out from around the corner and watches Zelena enter. Zelena sees Gold in the back of the shop making out with the Evil Queen. The Evil Queen tells Gold that they should take it somewhere more comfortable, and Zelena says, yeah, like a bed of lies, and walks out.

The Evil Queen blocks Zelena’s path. She says she didn’t say anything because she knew Zelena would be jealous – the proof being in her green neck. Zelena says she’s tired of the lies. Gold sees the note, and the Evil Queen realizes that Regina wrote it. Gold says they’re being played.

Mother Superior makes a rainbow that shows them the way to the sapling.

Way back when, David and the merchant walk through the forest. David feels woozy after drinking some water, and the merchant tells him he shouldn’t take drinks from strangers. David passes out. Snow comes through the forest and hears something in the shrubs. Wilby comes running out and then she sees the Woodcutter’s ax. The Woodcutter tells her that the dog is good at finding strays, and Snow spits in his face. He says he’s not going to kill her, he’s just taking her the the queen for the reward, and the queen will kill her.

In the present, Snow tells David it’s good to be on an adventure with him again. Regina finds a trap door near a path in the forest. She opens it, asks if they’re ready, and the three of them disappear, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Hook tells Emma that her parents will be fine. They’ll find that baby tree thing and fix it. He reads from Henry’s book. It says David and Snow always found each other, no matter what the Evil Queen did, and even when they couldn’t, Emma made sure they did. Hook says they were born of her love and she can overcome anything. He tells her to remember who she is – the product of true love.

Wilby licks David’s face (true love’s kiss? ha-ha!) and he wakes up. David runs to the carriage. Snow is trapped inside. She tells David that the Woodcutter will be back any second and he needs to go. David starts banging at the lock.

Back to the future, Snow, David and Regina find the sapling. Snow and David uproot it and flash back to all of their adventures. Regina hurries them along, but the Evil Queen arrives. She steals the sapling and Snow says it won’t work for her. She breaks it in half and it turns to dust. She tells them to hand their hearts over, but David says they still have time. The Evil Queen says she’ll see them at the cemetery soon enough – it’s a good place for endings.

Back home, Snow tells David that they can’t let the town die. He wishes they could have saved the sapling. They talk about a shared memory where each thinks the other wasn’t there.

In the Enchanted Forest, the Woodcutter finds David trying to break the lock. They fight. Snow grabs the Woodcutter’s arm through a hole in the door and they’re able to kill him. David wants to free Snow, but she says she’s made some enemies. If he sees her face, he’ll have a target on his back. He says he’ll leave, and she can free herself. He asks what she’s doing alone out in the woods. She tells him that she’s trying to survive and not doing a good job of it. He thinks she’s resourceful, and tells her about having to sell the farm. She says she has money and wants to give it to him. He tells her that she needs it herself, but she says maybe she is resourceful, and makes plans to rob a corrupt nobleman. She tells David that knowing he believes in her makes her not alone. She gives him the money, and a little glowing thing happens. The sapling is born.

The Evil Queen tells the townspeople she’s glad they accepted her invitation. If Snow doesn’t show up in five minutes, she’s going to give them some water from the River of Lost souls. Zelena makes a snide remark to Belle about Rumpel making a deal with the queen.

Snow and David arrive. The Evil Queen says she knew they’d show up, even without the sapling. Snow says they know their love is more powerful than anything she has. They’re willing to make the sacrifice. Snow says their paths always go back to each other, and then to Emma. David has Regina remove the protection spell.

Snow and David stand before the Evil Queen holding hands. She’s all happy. She takes their hearts out and the townspeople let out a collective gasp. The Evil Queen says she’s dreamt of this moment forever. She wants to give Snow her pain. the pain of being alone. Since she couldn’t kill her, she’s come up with something more cruel. S returns their hearts. Snow falls to the ground, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. The Evil Queen tells David that since he always finds Snow, start looking and see what happens when he does.

Belle visits Gold’s shop. She tells him that Zelena told her about him and the Evil Queen. She says she doesn’t care what he does and who he does it with, but she does care about the shears. She says Gold intends to use him on their son, but he doesn’t get to tamper with their son’s life just to keep him from hating his father. She says she knows he’s better than that, and he does feel love and could be a good man. If he wants his son’s love, don’t take it, be worthy of it. Gold asks what if he fails. Belle says that’s him all over – fear of failing, which is worse than being evil; he’s too weak to be good. She leaves, and Gold is mighty pissed at Zelena.

David drives to the woods to look for Snow. Emma follows in the VW. David finds Snow in a case made of branches. He removes the top. Regina has come along, and says she doesn’t think it will work this time. David kisses Snow and she wakes up. They remember the first time this happened, and David falls over.

Regina says that the queen put a sleeping curse on Snow’s heart, so they share the curse. When one is awake the other will be asleep. Snow says they’ll never be together. Yeah, but they’ll never argue either.

Next time, Snow tries to break the curse, and Regina thinks they can trap the Evil Queen  behind the mirror, but she and Emma get trapped instead.

The Walking Dead

I would love watching King Ezekiel every week, but it doesn’t look like that’s the deal tonight.

Dwight is watching Who’s the Boss reruns, while he does shots with his girl, Sherry. Alrighty then. Dwight carves chess pieces. Bread is baked. Bartering is done. Negan kicks someone’s ass. Dwight writes down the number 39. He seems to have contraband pickles and condiments. Somehow, a chicken sandwich is born.

Dwight eats while watching some guys play weird games with the zombies. One zombie is stuck to a flagpole and just keeps sliding up and down. I guess the chicken has run out because Dwight makes a dog food sandwich. Oh wait. That’s for Daryl. Well, at least it’s probably loaded with nutrition. Daryl is also naked and I get a little distracted.

Alone in a small, dark cell, Daryl hears a way-too-loud song and I turn down the TV. Dwight brings another sandwich. He watches as Daryl eats. Daryl starts to sleep and the song starts up again. Dwight pops in with a sandwich. How many does he get a day? Daryl is all shaky and weird. Dwight brings in his crossbow and drags Daryl out.

Dammit! They gave Daryl clothes. They look like scrubs with an anarchy symbol on the shirt. Dwight take Daryl into a building to a Dr. Carson. Well, maybe he’s not a doctor, but he’s playing one. Sherry is there and recognizes Daryl, but Dwight says not to talk to him. Sherry tells Dwight it’s negative, and he says maybe next time. She tells Daryl to just do whatever they say.

The doctor checks Daryl out. He says Daryl will get better, and Negan will take care of him. Dwight smirks. Negan sees them in the hall. He wants to talk to Dwight. Daryl sits in the hallway until Dwight drags him out again.

Daryl watches the reindeer zombie games. Dwight tells Daryl that’s him unless he’s smart. He can be like them, or Dwight, or the zombies. He tells Daryl to make it easy on himself, and throws him back in the dark. He tells Daryl that he was rebellious at first too. The song plays again and I start laughing this time. It’s something called Easy Street and it’s very peppy.

Negan tells Dwight that Daryl is going apesh*t and some people are harder to break than others. Negan says since Dwight is doing a great job, pick who he wants as long as she says yes. (Well that’s good of him.) Dwight says he’ll pass and Negan is shocked. Dwight says he hasn’t earned it yet. A voice comes over the radio, saying they have an orange situation. A thief named Gordon has gotten away, and Dwight responds that he’ll meet them at the gate. Negan says he doesn’t have to do grunt work, but Dwight says he likes it. Dwight is so up to something, I wonder how Negan doesn’t see it.

They need to stop the torture, because I start laughing every time I hear that song now. Dwight is off on Daryl’s bike, so some other dude brings his sandwich. Along with another play of the song. OMG – stop it – hahahahahaha! I can’t take it anymore. It reminds me of the time a friend of mine put a token into a jukebox by accident. For whatever reason, it played the opposite side of the song we wanted and it wouldn’t stop. We would be talking, and every time the song would end, we’d wait…and then it would play again and we’d laugh hysterically. Finally, someone went over to the jukebox and kicked it a good one, and it moved on.

While I’m cracking up, Daryl manages to sneak out. I guess he stuck something over the door lock. Cool! Dwight comes across zombies with limbs cracking off as they try to crawl. Dwight pushes the bike along railroad tracks and past an accident. He takes it all in, and almost gets crowned by a zombie falling from the bridge above, then ends up nearly getting bitten by another one.

Back at Neganville or whatever it’s called, Daryl is confronted by Sherry. She tells him that he won’t get away, and when you’re bad, Negan will be worse. Daryl goes to the outside door and sees a line of bikes. He makes a run for them. Uh-oh. Caught. Surrounded. And here comes the man of the hour with his baseball bat. He asks if Daryl is pissing his pants yet. No, but I’m going to from laughing if he puts that song back on again.

No surprise, Negan is all smiley. He asks each man who they are and they all say Negan. He tells Daryl that he’s everywhere, and it was his last shot at realizing that fundamental truth. It sucks, because his life was about to get easier. He doesn’t think that Daryl gets it. Daryl has three choices: you work for Negan as a dead man; work for him and wish you were dead;or work for him, get a brand new pair of shoes, and live like a king. There’s no door number four; it’s the only way.

Negan almost hits Daryl with the bat, but Daryl puts his hand up to block it. Negan says he loves how Daryl doesn’t scare easy, but it pisses Lucille off; she finds it disrespectful. Lucky for him, she isn’t feeling thirsty today, but Negan is definitely getting a drink. He walks off whistling as the guys beat the crap out of Daryl.

Dwight continues on with a flat. He sees a zombie in the distance attacking someone. It’s Gordon. Dwight drops the bike, dispatches the zombie, and whacks Gordon.

Someone says Daryl’s name, It’s Sherry. She says, in the woods after they took his stuff, she said she was sorry. He’d told her she was going to be, and now she is.

Dwight asks Gordon if it was worth it. Gordon says just let him go, and Dwight says he can’t. Gordon asks why, since they used to be friendly, and Dwight keeps telling him to shut up.It’s revealed that Sherry was Dwight’s wife, although Dwight says not anymore. He tells Gordon to keep walking, that there’s nowhere to go anymore – everything is Negan’s or will be. Gordon says it’s okay if Dwight shoots him; he wants him to. Gordon says he can’t go back. Dwight says it’s the only way. Gordon says that’s what Negan wants them to believe. There’s only one of him, so why are they giving up?  Dwight says they were losing. Gordon says when they got there, they thought it would be okay and they could fight the monsters . He drops to his knees and Dwight tells him to get up, and that he’ll dig up Gordon’s dead wife and feed her to the crows if he doesn’t. Gordon says that Dwight won, but there’s nothing left. Gordon gets up and they start to walk again. Dwight shoots him in the back.

Sherry is having a smoke in the stairwell. Dwight asks her for a cigarette. Where are they getting those? Are they growing tobacco? He asks if Negan is good to her, and she says yes. She asks if Dwight is happy, and he says yes, but doesn’t sound like it. He says he did the right thing, and it’s better than being dead. Better than being a zombie maybe.

Oh no here it comes again. ♫ Easy street…da-da-da-da ♫ Daryl gets his sandwich. Dwight tells Daryl that he got his friend killed and he got Tina killed, so don’t pretend he doesn’t know the score. He should be dead, but Negan took a shine to him, and he shouldn’t forget he’s lucky. Dwight sticks a picture on the wall. and says don’t forget. Daryl swipes it down but then looks at it. It’s kind of dark and I can’t really see it, but I think it’s Glenn’s smashed in head.

Thank God. They finally play something different. Roy Orbison‘s Crying. Both Daryl and Dwight lsiten on opposite sides of the door. Daryl weeps. Dwight leaves before he starts.

Dwight brings Daryl to Negan. Negan tells Daryl he looks awful and they’ll have Carson fix him up. He says Dwight hustles and he likes hustle, but things weren’t always cool between them. He says Dwight’s sis fell behind on points because she needed lots of medication. Negan had wanted to marry her and take care of her because he’s a stand-up guy, but while he was thinking about it, Dwight stole the meds and took off with the girls. He couldn’t let something like that stand; there are rules. It cost him a lot going after Dwight, and he still got away, but he saw the light and came back to ask forgiveness. Negan was okay with it, but Lucille is a stickler for the rules. Dwight begged him not to kill Sherry, so he was just going to kill Dwight, but Sherry said she’d marry him instead. It was a start, but not enough, so Dwight got the iron, and then Negan married Sherry. After all that, Dwight still got on board. Negan says he’s a top guy, and they’re totally cool. He tells Daryl that he’s ready to be that guy.

All Daryl has to do is answer a simple question. Who are you? Daryl is quiet, and Negan asks if he’s overwhelmed by the awesomeness? Negan asks him again, while brandishing Lucille, who are you? Daryl answers, “Daryl.”

Negan smiles and tells Dwight that it’s cool. Daryl made his choice; it’s not his problem if it’s a dumbass choice. Daryl is thrown back into his cell, and Dwight says he’s going to wind up in that room or hanging on the fence. Daryl says he gets it. He understands why Dwight took it; he was thinking about someone else, which is why Daryl can’t.

Dwight ponders things outside, while watching the zombie Olympics or whatever that is going on. I almost feel sorry for him. He sees Gordon as a zombie, and it looks like Gordon recognizes him.

Next time, Rick sees Negan again, Michonne is ready to fight, and Rick tells the group that he’s not in charge anymore.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Reunion Part One

Beautiful dresses and Teresa looks stunning in a black strapless number. Andy asks about Joe #1, and Teresa says he’s working on his GED and wants to go to college when he gets back. Andy talks about the last reunion she attended, and he wondered at the time if she would be back. She says she’s surprised Jacqueline is there, and Jacqueline says she loves confrontation. As evidenced by her running away from every single one

Jacqueline talks about getting along with Dolores and Siggy. Siggy says she loves everyone. They talk about Dolores’s growth and how she became an independent woman this year. We flash back on how heavily she was counting on Frank, the best ex-husband in the universe. A viewer asks if Frank wasn’t in a relationship, if they’d get back together, but it’s a no. They talk about her son Frankie being hot, and her new management of the gym. They discuss Dina, and who she’s friends with now. Dolores talks about being friends with Caroline, and how it might have contributed to her and Dina no longer being close.

We flash back to the ups and downs with Jacqueline and Teresa this season. How do I detest Jacqueline? Let me count the ways. Andy asks if Jacqueline thinks Teresa has changed, and Jacqueline gives a vague “in some ways” answer. Siggy says Jacqueline’s intentions are good, but her delivery is horrible, and that Teresa is the opposite with no filter. They talk about Jacqueline calling Joe #2 and dragging him into things between her and Teresa. Andy asks if Jacqueline thought Melissa was threatened by the friendship? It doesn’t take long before the three of them are all talking at once. We flash back to Jacqueline’s criticism of Teresa buying a car after she got out of prison. Teresa says they paid back their restitution, and leasing a Lexus isn’t that much, which I’m sure is a matter of perspective. The bottom line for me is that unless someone is paying my bills, they have no business talking about my financial decisions.

Commercial break with important information. Below Deck is on Wednesday this week.

Apparently, Teresa had tweeted that she would like Danielle Staub back on the show. She thinks Danielle would be a great enemy for Jacqueline. Danielle had asked on Facebook if Teresa understands now how it felt to be called names in front of her children. We’re treated to a flash back of Teresa calling Danielle a “prostitution whore,” and flipping the table.

They talk about Siggy and Dolores’s friendship. They’ve known each other the least amount of time, but seem closest. We flash back to a bunch of Siggy stuff. Siggy talks about her family’s move to Israel when she was in high school, and how she came back to America for her senior year.

Jacqueline’s family life is discussed – Ashlee’s engagement, Nicholas’s breakthroughs, and Jacqueline becoming a “glamma.” Jacqueline talks about her new grandson. Teresa and Melissa are whispering and Andy breaks it up. Teresa says Jacqueline talks all about family, and then allows her daughter to say nasty things on Twitter. We see a tweet from Ashlee about Teresa, calling her an ape. Huh? Teresa tells Jacqueline that her daughter needs to learn respect. Jacqueline tries to drag Gia into it, and Teresa tells her to compare what Ashlee puts online to what Gia does. Ashlee has been crazy rude over the years, and I’d hazard a guess that Gia is a nun in comparison.

Joe #2 joins the ladies. Andy talks about what great mothers all the women are, and we flash back to various scenes with the various kids. It’s amazing that most of these kids turned out halfway normal. Andy asks if Teresa gets Jacqueline’s position better after being with Nicholas, and Teresa says she realizes it’s difficult. They talk about Milania, who can be a real loudmouth, but also very sweet. Jacqueline gives her props for how wonderful she is with Nicholas.

We go back in time, watching how Melissa developed her business and the conflicts she had with Joe #2. Andy talks about Joe’s crumb comment being sexist, and Joe says he was raised a certain way. He talks about Melissa giving him sloppy Joes from the can when they were first married. Melissa says that he’s definitely evolved. A fan points out that Melissa had been arrested for shoplifting twenty years ago (when she was a teenager? really? someone’s bringing this up?), and she talks about going through a rebellious period. Derek has quit Envy, but Melissa says it had nothing to do with him selling stories. They talk about Kim D and who told who not to shop where or go to whose events.

Jacqueline acts like Kim D isn’t that bad, but we flash back to her gossiping about Teresa right to Jacqueline. A viewer asks about Teresa not liking that Jacqueline asked her about tabloid rumors, but it not bothering Teresa when Siggy did. Teresa says she didn’t know Siggy. Andy doesn’t get it, but I do. What she saying is that Jacqueline should have known better than asking if something was true, but Siggy wouldn’t have known that, so it was an innocent question when she asked.

Andy says it’s nice to see Teresa and Melissa getting along, and they agree. We flash back to Teresa coming home. It’s such a beautiful, human moment, not matter how you might feel about these two, they’re still people and they’re still a family who love each other. We flash back to Joe #1 leaving. Teresa talks about being away from her daughters. Andy asks them about visiting Joe #1 and Melissa says she most likely won’t. She talks to him on the phone and he has a huge family who all want to see him. We learn that Joe #2 lost his virginity at the age of nine and Teresa walked in on it. Thank you for that visual.

Because Teresa and Melissa are getting along so well, Jacqueline brings up the sprinkle cookies from ten Christmases ago. We flash back to the history of discord between them. Melissa asks why Jacqueline likes to examine their family problems. Jacqueline says they keep implying that she was involved in Strippergate, and Jacqueline says let’s talk about the facts. Teresa infers that it was Jacqueline who did some stripping. I’d also like to know why Jacqueline feels the need to be so involved with the interpersonal relationships of people she’s not related to.

After Teresa insisting that Jacqueline is the one who was once a stripper and Jacqueline saying she wasn’t, we flash back to when that club guy claimed Melissa worked for him (she was a bartender). Now that they’ve jogged my memory, Jacqueline stirred the pot during that whole thing. Melissa tells Jacqueline her hands aren’t clean. Teresa says Jacqueline and Kim D have been tight since day one. Jacqueline says they play dirty and does Melissa think she’d really do that to her? Melissa says she’s not in denial about Teresa, but Jacqueline didn’t show up to the reunion, running away from any responsibility. Melissa says she thinks Jacqueline felt guilty and didn’t want to face her. She says the number one person who caused it was Kim D, but Jacqueline likes situations to happen to other people, taking the attention off of herself. Andy says Joe #2 is the real stripper and Joe wants to know what’s wrong with strippers.

Jacqueline talks about who was going to be at the reunion and how it was toxic, so she avoided it. Teresa says Jacqueline has done numerous things to hurt her and her family. She says that Jacqueline is the one who gave the tabloids a story about Joe #1 cheating. It’s interesting – we flash back to see Jacqueline asking Teresa leading questions and Teresa basically saying she’d kill Joe if she caught him cheating. Jacqueline tells Teresa she’s crazy. Teresa says she’d never put up with it and Joe #2 backs her up. Teresa says Jacqueline’s first husband cheated on her, and somehow it gets to Dolores not having liked Jacqueline for a long time prior to this season, which Dolores denies.

Teresa says Jacqueline is a liar, and Jacqueline says that Teresa went to jail for lying. Teresa says she pled guilty, but Jacqueline set her up. Teresa says Jacqueline and Caroline were behind everything, even calling the government. Siggy says Jacqueline truly loved Teresa at one time. Jacqueline is aghast, but Teresa says she’s glad she got it off her chest and believes it in her gut. Jacqueline says no wonder Teresa is so angry at her.

Next time, extra housewife Chris wants Teresa, Joe #2, or both to take responsibility; Melissa tells Jacqueline she has crazy eyes; Siggy tries to be peacemaker – no doubt unsuccessfully; and Dolores says to light a candle, because that thing is dead. She could be referring to quite a few things here.

Oct31

October 30, 2016 – Captain Nemo Finds Storybrooke, Carol Finds a King & Siggy Finds No Closure

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Long ago, on the Jolly Roger, Hook yells at the crew for being slow. One of the men says they’re tired and Hook asks who dares defy him?. It’s a stowaway who says he’s no one and wants to ask him a simple question. He asks if taking revenge on the Dark One has been worth the time and effort. Hook says he’ll have to settle for him first, but suddenly sees what he thinks is a sea monster. The stowaway tells him there isn’t one, and he’s saving Hook’s life. He pushes him into the water and dives in after him.

In Storybrooke, Regina hunts down the Evil Queen for a little chat. The Queen insults her lack of entrance flair. Zelena joins them. Regina says that her masquerade as a cricket therapist didn’t work.

Snow and David are inside Zelena’s house. Snow lets Jiminy Cricket out of his cage. I’ll say it again – he’s so cute! I want one.

The Evil Queen says she’s not there just to gloat, she’s there for something else. Zelena runs inside where David and Snow are. The Evil Queen says the real fun can begin and Regina appears in between them, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. She tells the Evil Queen to bring it on.

At Granny’s, Jasmine tells Aladdin they haven’t talked about Agribah – they still need his help. He doesn’t want to hear about it and leaves the diner.

Hook joins Henry and Emma for breakfast, but Emma gets a text from Jasmine that she doesn’t know where Aladdin is. Emma and leaves to help find him. Hook tosses Henry’s Pop Tarts in the trash and says he’s going to make him a pirate’s breakfast of grapefruit and mackerel. I have to admit, it’s a lot healthier. God only knows what’s in a Pop Tart. I won’t touch them. Henry takes the trash out.

The Evil Queen is waiting outside, and asks Henry if his new father is bothering him. Henry says Hook isn’t his father, but she says he may be soon. She says she knows what it’s like to be that person, and Henry says Hook isn’t like her. She shows him a box that Hook was fooling around with, and he finds the shears. The one thing that can take away what makes Emma special. She says Hook doesn’t care about Henry or Emma, and he needs to asks himself what he’s going to do about it.She disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. Copycat.

Emma catches Aladdin breaking into a car. He says it’s his, and she says they need to talk. He says he knows Jasmine sent her.

Hook looks for Henry. He sees that the shears are gone.

Back in the day, Hook comes to on a submarine. A man with a harpoon tells Hook welcome aboard. Hook punches him out and asks where he is. He asks what magic this is, and a captain welcomes him to the Nautilus, saying to call him Nemo. Hook asks what he wants. Nemo says the ship is a second chance. Hook says he’s not staying. Nemo says he knows Hook’s heart is full of hatred and seeking revenge, and he finds people like him. The one thing missing in his life is family. Hook says no one will replace what the Dark One took. Nemo says he knows how it feels. He lost a family too, brutally murdered while he was at sea. He spent decades hunting the murderers down. When he was finished, all he was left with was an empty heart and a blood-stained harpoon.

Hook wants out, but Nemo needs his help with a mission. He tell Hook that when it’s done, he’ll see this ship is where he belongs.

Hook finds Henry at the docks and asks what he’s doing there. Henry says what his mom wanted Hook to do. Hook says he’s trying to protect Emma. They see something rise out of the water and start to run, but their path is blocked by a guy who says the captain wants to see Hook.

Henry and Hook are taken on to the Nautilus. Hook opens the window shade and it’s super cool under the water. The ship is pretty amazing too.

Snow and David meet at the hospital. Another refugee from the Land of Untold Stories has been brought in. David is going to go to the station to see if he’s been reported missing. Snow sees Belle in the waiting room. She’s getting her first ultrasound. She doesn’t want Rumpel to be a part of anything, but doesn’t know how to deal with it. Snow says she doesn’t have to deal with it for three trimesters.

Henry wonders what would happen if Hook had just gotten rid of the shears. He says he’s saving her life. Henry says her being the Savior is what brought them together, and Hook doesn’t get to make decisions since he not part of the family. Henry says they’re just going to be fish food now anyway. Hook says the captain isn’t someone he’s going to want to meet.

Way back when, Nemo and Hook are in old-fashioned diving suits with those big round helmets. Nemo tells him stay on the path. They go through a cavern. Another diver says he’d give his life for Nemo. His family was taken for him and he grew up on the docks, vowing revenge, and Nemo saved his life. Hook asks if he found those who wronged him. They guy says no, and Hook says he shouldn’t give up so easily.

They come across a huge treasure chest. Nemo says there’s more than gold and jewels in it. Hook tries to back away and a giant squid grabs him. Nemo said stay on the path, dude. The squid is awesome, all tentacles and teeth. Nemo harpoons it. Good-by giant squid! Nemo says Hook is stubborn, but he hasn’t given up on him. He’s part of the family.

Rumpel as Gold visits the Evil Queen. She says she’s driving a wedge through the Charming clan and asks if he’d care to join her. He asks if she remembers her lessons. Never take what’s his being the most important one. He says the shears are gone, and he can smell her magic all over it. The Evil Queen realizes he wants to use them on Belle so he can change the fate of his family. She tells him like everyone he’s ever loved, the shears are long gone. He tells her to be careful who she crosses; she might need an ally. She says you don’t need allies when you win, and she’s doing fine without him.

Emma drives Aladdin out to the woods. She shows him the Welcome to Storybrooke sign. She shows him the base where a car hit it. She says she hit it after Henry tried to convince her she was the Savior. She says it wasn’t the only time. Yesterday when he gave her the shears, she was worried she might use them. She imagines her family having to watch her die. She says she ran, but came back to face the people she disappointed, and tried to make up for her mistakes. He says he doesn’t know how to fix things in Argribah. She tells him finding out what happened is a good place to start.

Hook tells Henry he killed his own father. When he did it, he didn’t just take his life. He had a son, named Liam after Hook’s older brother, and he left an innocent boy an orphan.

In the past, Nemo shows Hook a key. He says all they do is sail with no place to call home. This key opens the gateway to the Mysterious Island, where you can start over. He tells Hook this is his chance. Hook says he can’t give up now. Nemo says Hook has lost people he loves and doesn’t want to open his heart, but the island is a place where he never has to lose anyone again. He asks Hook to join his crew. Hook asks where he got the key, and Nemo says it belongs to his first mate. He was a young boy when his father was murdered. He tells Hook his first mate’s name is Liam.

Fast forwarding, Henry thinks Hook is trying to make up for Liam with him. He says Hook can’t do that, but maybe he can, and shows him the shears. He says, first rule of kidnapping is they never search the kid. Hook gives Henry a diving suit. He says there’s only one helmet, so he’s not going. He says if only one of them can go back to Emma, it’s Henry. Henry dives into the water.

Back in time, Liam approaches, calling Hook “brother.” He says he’s been waiting a long time for this and produces a weapon.

Hook runs farther into the submarine. He sees Nemo who tells him that running from Liam won’t solve anything. Liam is like a son to him and gave up seeking vengeance. Liam enters, saying he was a son to someone else once too. Nemo says killing Hook won’t quench the fire inside him. Liam tells Nemo that’s easy for him to say; he got his revenge. Nemo says they were so close to finding a home. Liam says his heart is no stronger than the captain’s. Nemo gets in between Hook and Liam, and Liam stabs Nemo accidentally. Hook says Liam deserves better, and hopes he finds it. He jumps into the water.

In the present, Liam tells Hook he’s taken everything, his father and Nemo. Hook realizes the Mysterious Island is the Land of Untold Stories, and Nemo is in Storybrooke. Liam says that Hyde took Nemo, and he’s dead because of Hook. Henry returns and tells Liam to stop. While he’s distracted, Hook knocks him out. Hook says he told Henry to leave, and Henry says if he had Hook would be dead. Hook says he couldn’t see another family ruined, and Henry says neither could he.

Hook says he won’t use the shears if Henry doens’t want him to. They’ll find another way to save Emma; the decisions don’t have to come true. He puts the shears in a chest and it sinks into the water.

Aladdin approaches Jasmine. He apologizes. She says she knows he feels guilty, but there’s more he needs to know. He says he might not be the Savior anymore, but if they go back to Agribah, he might be able to help. Jasmine says she went to a neighboring kingdom seeking an alliance. She got caught in a sandstorm on the way back, and when she got there, Agribah was gone. Way to end their storyline.

Belle asks Snow about the patient that was brought in. Snow says he’s in surgery, but the doctor thinks he has a chance. Belle has two copies of the sonogram. Snow asks if she’s giving one to Gold. Belle doesn’t know if he can ever repair things. She does know the son in her dream looked at him with hatred. She wishes things could turn out differently.

The patient is Liam. Hook sits next to the bed and tells him he’s in the hospital. He’s surprised Hook didn’t kill him, but Hook says he has something to live for now. Liam realized if he killed Hook in front of Henry, he’d be creating another boy filled with hate. He wishes Nemo could see them.

Nemo is wheeled in. He was found this morning, and was the patient in surgery. He and Liam join hands and Hook goes to the waiting room. Emma is confused as to what happened. Hook says he’ll fill her in, and Henry jets. He says everything that happened was his fault. Henry was looking to right a wrong. He didn’t dispose of the shears, thinking it might help save her even if she hated him for it. He says Henry made him see the error of his ways, and they’re at the bottom of the ocean. She says she would have done the same thing. They embrace.

Gold looks at a huge book. He says the pirates and the son worked things out in the end. The Evil Queen tells him that they’re an insipid bunch, too forgiving of each other. She says she’s come to make amends, and has been going about it all wrong. She forgot the most important lesson – know what you want and go after it with everything you have. He asks what she wants. She kisses him. Hmm…

Belle comes to Gold’s shop. She sees it’s closed and slips the sonogram picture under the door.

Gold asks if the Evil Queen wants him. She says something else, but she needs his help. He asks what makes her think he would help her. The Evil Queen says fortunately for him, there are still a few underwater creatures who owe her a favor. She has the shears. He asks what she needs his help with. She tells him that the one thing she’s always wanted is Snow White’s heart and smiles

Next time, the contents of a bottle could destroy Storybrooke, they have 12 hours to figure it out, danger lurks around every corner, and the Evil Queen thinks the cemetery is a good place for endings.

The Walking Dead

Carol is being hauled in a wagon by two guys on horseback that look like knights. Morgan follows.

Zombies attack and Carol falls off. Morgan and the others fight them off. Carol thinks she sees someone she knows, but it’s a zombie. She staggers away while the guys are still fighting. She comes to a house and sees a lady beckon from the window, but it’s a zombie. She slumps against a fence. A zombie is headed toward her and gets it’s face sliced off. Nice one. A bunch of people on horseback come in and dispatch the rest. I’m going with this crowd.

A guy named Daniel says they’ve been looking for Morgan, but it looks like he found some people himself. Morgan fiddles with a mailbox because maybe that zombie mailman from Z Nation is coming along.

Carol sleeps while Morgan sits next to the bed. She wakes to the sound of makeshift wind chimes. She asks how long she’s been asleep and he tells her two days. I always think that would be freaky to wake up and so much time has gone by. But it’s better than American Werewolf in London where he was out for three weeks. She asks where they are.

Morgan wheels her through the town. He says their weapons will be with held until they leave. In about a week, they can go back to Alexandria. The town is called The Kindgom. Morgan says they were helping Carol, so he helped them. It’s beautiful, lots of plants and animals, and Renaissance Faire clothing. Morgan explains the story he gave the man in charge, whose name is King Ezekiel.

Morgan wheels Carol into a building. He tells her Ezekiel does his own thing. They go into an auditorium where Ezekiel sits on a throne with his pet tiger next to him. I like him already. He could possibly save this show for me. I’m getting to the point where I’m tired of it being depressing and more depressing.

Ezekiel tells the tiger to settle down; these are their guests. He says if she’s a friend of Morgan, she’s considered a friend of the realm unless proven otherwise. He introduces himself and welcomes her to The Kingdom. He asks if he detects skepticism, and if she thinks he’s mad. He asks what she thinks of The Kingdom and King. She tells him that she thinks he’s amazing, the place is amazing, and Shiva the tiger is amazing. She says she doesn‘t know what’s going on in the most wonderful way. He says he let’s everyone take what they want as long as they contribute. Drink from the well, replenish the well.

He has one of his men give her some fruit. She says she doesn’t want to be any trouble and she’s not a fruit person. He says if there’s anything she wants or needs, just ask, and mentions they have a great musician. She says more rest and maybe a hairbrush; no one told her she was meeting royalty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile like this, but I don’t know if she’s faking it. They both say it’s a pleasure, and Morgan wheels her out.

Carol is like, what the what? She tells Morgan that this is make believe and she can’t do this. Freakin’ spoilsport. Morgan tries to talk to her. She says when he’s not there to stop her, she’ll go. He says he’ll stop her, but she says it’s not up to him. He says he won’t let her die out there. She says it doesn’t matter what he does.

Is she kidding? This place is awesome!

Ezekiel and company hunt some wild pigs. They drive them to a place where a zombie is hanging from the ceiling, because they want the pigs’ bellies full of rot. I don’t get that, but okay. Some zombies wander up and one of the guys, Benjamin, is learning how to kill them. He doesn’t quite get it, so Ezekiel finishes the zombie off. Morgan is told that no one back at The Kingdom needs to know about any of this. Ezekiel yells to the zombies that one day they will be released from the curse and in the meantime, they live in their place. I’m fascinated.

Back at The Kingdom, Ezekiel asks Morgan how he acquired his skills with the staff. Morgan says from a cheese-maker. Ezekiel says Benjamin’s path is in need of adjustment, and asks if Morgan will train him. Morgan says the staff could have saved the man he shot to save Carol. Ezekiel says like it saved Morgan. He needs Benjamin to live because he’ll be an important member of his staff. Morgan agrees, and Ezekiel says The Kingdom is favored by his presence again.

Carol sits in her room. Shiva suns herself and an acapella choir sings It’s All Right. Morgan shows Benjamin how to use the staff. Watching Benjamin reminds me of one of my martial arts workout DVDs. Carol wheels around the place, faking it, acting all nice to a guy and pretending to be over the moon about some cobbler. She pretends to tear up about how great the town is, and asks for a tissue. She steals some clothing when they guy has his back turned. She’s pissing me off.

Benjamin asks about Morgan’s book. Morgan tells him it’s philosophy. Benjamin says he’s read all the books there several times, and air conditioning manuals are boring. Morgan gives him the book. Ezekiel tells them they have matters of import to attend to.

He says the swine are slaughtered far from the kindgom. It’s a secret and secrets are burdens that come with a cost. A bunch of guys get out of cars and meet them. They belong to the Saviors (not to be confused with Emma and Aladdin in the previous show). Ezekiel says their arrangement is important. Oooh, I think I’m getting this. One of the guys says the pigs look bigger than last time, and Ezekiel’s man, Richard, says they were well fed. The man asks for help loading them into the truck. A woman starts to quietly tell Morgan they’re from another group, but Morgan says he knows who they are. Apparently, Ezekiel is trying to poison the Saviors or turn them into zombies.

The guys load the truck. One of the Saviors tells them they’ve gotten off easy. Richard says maybe he has it backwards. They start to fight. Guns are drawn. Ezekiel says to lower their weapons and tells Richard to let him go; this isn’t what they do. The guy gets in a few more punches until he’s made to stop. He’s a real a-hole. Ezekiel tells Richard they’ll discuss it. The Savior says it’s produce week next week, so they’d better produce or Richard is going first.

Ezekial asks if the man Morgan killed to save Carol was one of them. Morgan says yes, and asks if that’s why Ezekiel wanted him here, because he could do it again? Ezekiel says the opposite.

It’s movie night! Everyone is finishing up dinner and Benjamin and Morgan talk. Benjamin is raising a little boy. He says Ezekiel was tight with his father, who was a good fighter. He was sent out to clear a building, but there wasn’t enough back-up and eight men didn’t make it out. His father was one of them. He says Ezekiel is more careful now. He’s keeping his deal with the Saviors because they want to fight, but don’t want to lose people. Morgan asks if Benjamin agrees, but he says he doesn’t know enough to know.

Benjamin asks about an inscription in the book about not killing. Morgan says he didn’t write it, but it’s not about what he thinks. People can point you in the right direction, but can’t show you the way. You have to find that for yourself. He says he’s just fumbling through, and sometimes we change our minds. He leaves to talk to Carol.

Carol is gone. Good. She was no fun anyway. Morgan sits on the bed and smiles.

Carol limps around to the apple tree. Ezekiel tells her to help herself. The garden is his favorite place, and he’s glad she saw it before she left . She apologizes, but asks what good she is there. Ezekiel tells her to never bullsh*t a bullsh*tter. He says the sweet and innocent act is clever. Blend in, get people to trust her, get what she needs, and disappear. He says the gun she has belongs to the Saviors, and she did more than put up a fight – she won. She says by ending up here? and he asks if it’s funny. She tells him that this place is a joke, and out there it’s real. She says he’s selling people a fairy tale. He says maybe they need one. She asks if having his ass kissed is a perk.

Ezekiel sits with her. He says people want someone to follow; it’s human nature. They want someone to make them feel safe, and people who feel safe are less dangerous and more productive. They see a dude with a tiger and make him larger than life, a hero. Who is he to burst their bubble? They needed someone to follow, so he faked it until he made it. He was a zoo keeper and Shiva fell into a moat. There was no medical assistance, and she was hurt and going to bleed out. He knew the risk, but she was in pain, so he saved her life. After that she never even showed a tooth in his direction. She could do a lot of damage, but she hasn’t and won’t. He lost a lot like everyone else. When it started to end, he came back to the zoo. Shiva was alone, hungry, and trapped, like him. She was the last thing left in the world he loved. She protected him, got him here, and made him larger than life. He used to act in community theater and played some kings. He says his name is really Ezekiel though. Cards on the table, nothing up his sleeve, but appreciates it if she keeps it between them, at least for now.

Carol says she doesn’t care. Do what he wants. She’s going to go. He asks where? She says away. He says he’s sorry for whatever bad she’s been through. There’s too much of it out there. It feels like it’s all bad, especially when you’re alone, but it’s not all bad. Where there’s life, there’s hope, heroism, grace, and love. He hopes that she’s not walking away from life. He made his own world. He found a way to embrace the contradiction, by being over-the-top good. He says maybe he’s crazy, but maybe he can help if she lets him. She asks why he cares, and he says it makes him feel good. He says she can go or not go, see if he’s on to something or it’s more bullsh*t.

Morgan and Carol ride down a road. Morgan asks if she’s sure this is what she wants. She does. They stop at the house where Morgan was fixing the mailbox. He says she’s his favorite person he ever knocked down, or at least in the top two or three. He tells her to take care of herself. She says always watching, always ready. He gets back on his horse and she goes in the gate. He puts the mailbox flag down.

Carol sees the zombie in the house and goes inside brandishing her weapon. She buries the now dead zombie in the yard. She builds a fire and there’s a knock at the door. She hears the tiger. It’s Ezekiel with an apple. He tells her she has to try one. She gives him a real smile. Almost.

Next time, more Negan (sigh), Daryl gets shoved around, and Negan likes it that he doesn’t scare easy.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

It’s time for Melissa’s fashion show. Siggy and Dolores discuss Jacqueline in the car. Dolores thinks Jacqueline overreacted to her text. She’s been going around saying Dolores set her up to look like a no show.

Preparing for the show, Melissa feels abandoned, since her partner is in the Bahamas. She says she doesn’t know what she’s doing and didn’t sleep last night. The models practice their walks.

Jacqueline is on the couch hacking and coughing. She tells Chris that she wouldn’t have gone to the fashion show even if she wasn’t sick. Chris thinks that some of her friends aren’t really her friends. He thinks she should get to the bottom of why Dolores asked if she was coming to the fashion show when she knew Jacqueline was sick. Um…maybe she forgot or was just making conversation. The overreaction is trickling down.
The Wakiles and Teresa cross paths at the bar, and it’s awkward. In her interview, Teresa says she’s done with her cousins and there’s no confusion about that. She doesn’t wish anyone ill will, she just wants to be left alone. Joe #2 and Richie talk. Teresa tells Melissa she wants to be there for her, but she feels sad. It’s her first event without Joe #1.

Siggy and Dolores arrive. Dolores tells Kathy about calling Jacqueline and that Jacqueline is paranoid that she was being set up. I’m not getting this. Does Jacqueline think Dolores was trying to catch her in a lie about being sick? Kathy asks if Dolores is open to talking to Jacqueline, but Dolores says she’s too angry right now. She shows Kathy the text. Teresa joins them. She says she wishes Jacqueline the best, but she’s evil. Kathy insists she’s not.

Melissa gets the models ready. She’s nervous and gets a glass of wine. Teresa tells Siggy that she walked into something with Kathy and Dolores. Siggy says Jacqueline got weird with Dolores. In her interview, Teresa says Jacqueline is sweet at first, but then you get to know her.

Backstage, things are crazy. The music starts. The models begin to walk the runway. Melissa runs around like a nut, telling everyone they need to move faster. All of a sudden, no one is on stage and she doesn’t know what to do. Melissa starts to freak, but everything falls back into place. The clothes are really cute.

Melissa makes a speech, thanking everyone at Envy and her family. Joe #2 is proud of her. She turned a crumb into a cake. She talks about feeling a tug on her pillow the night before and no one being there, but she had “a feeling.” That morning, her mother reminded her that it was the anniversary of her father’s death and she feels like he’s there.

Siggy asks Melissa to lunch on Friday. She’s invited everyone because she wants closure. She says Jacqueline is fighting with Dolores now, and she wants everyone to say their peace without fighting and walk away like ladies. Good luck with that. In her interview, Siggy says she wants everyone to move forward and shut up. She’s hoping Jacqueline comes.

Dolores meets Frank for lunch. She tells him he said the kitchen would never get done and it happened. She adds that he won’t be getting a bill because she’s on a payment plan with the contractor. Frank is the best ex-husband in the world. Next to Bruce Willis. He jokes that she’s breaking up with him, and she says she’s just taking the pressure off. In her interview, Dolores says Frank is in another relationship, but they have a bond that can’t be broken. He feels concerned that she doesn’t want help anymore. She says he’s like a part of her, and it’s just the financial help she doesn’t need.

Frank tells Dolores that her father took him aside when the problems started, and said sh*t happens, but you never turn your back on your family and children, and he’ll always be a part of the family. She wants to get the check. He says he likes the new Dolores, but she tells him don’t get used to it.

Teresa’s lawyer, Jim, comes over. He says he’s gotten a few emails from Joe #1 and she says she missed his call because she was doing yoga. She’s getting certified and needs to put in a certain amount of hours. Jim asks about finances. Teresa says after they got married Joe did everything, but it’s going back to the way it was before that, and she might have to sell the house. She says the kids have been through enough, but she’ll do what it takes to keep things afloat, since Gia is almost college bound. She shows him a framed cover of her new book that the publisher sent. She has one of the last book, and says she’s definitely a different person now and proud of who she is. She can’t wait for Joe to get home. Jim says to never feel like she’s by herelf.

Dolores and her mother are doing some cooking. Siggy comes by, loud as ever, with her own mother, and all of them put together a meal. Siggy thinks their moms are too selfless and should do more for themselves. They sit down to eat, and she toasts to their mothers being wonderful. Siggy says she’ll always take care of her mother the way her mother has taken care of her, and Dolores says her too. Siggy tells them there has to be a way to get the friends back together, but Dolores doesn’t think so.

Melissa comes home to Joe #2 cooking dinner and roses on the table. He tells her to sit down. He’s made chicken cordon bleu. They talk about Melissa’s sales, which are thriving. In her interview, she’s afraid he wants her to scale back. He apologizes for saying she made crumbs where he made cake. He says he loves her and stands by her and he’s a lucky man. He brings out parfaits for dessert. She asks if they’re having cappuccino with candy sticks, and he says he got the kind she likes. She says she’d like his candy stick after dinner and he picks her up out of the chair. These two are so cute.

Siggy is bringing the girls together because she wants Vermont laid to rest. She’s having the lunch at a restaurant because she doesn’t want a repet performance in her house. She removes the knives from the table. She hasn’t heard from Jacqueline, so she doesn’t know if she’s coming, but she’s hired security. She tells some bald guy in a black jacket what the score is.

Melissa tells Teresa that Jacqueline is super paranoid and doesn’t like them together. Teresa says she’s a cuckoo. Melissa is hoping for closure, but the most Teresa thinks she’s getting is a nice lunch.

Jacqueline shows up first. Siggy gets all teary. Jacqueline says she came for Siggy because she knows what it’s like to be in the middle. She says she said horrible things to Teresa in Vermont. She claims Melissa didn’t like her and Teresa being friends. She says she couldn’t even sit down before everyone tried to talk for each other. In her interview, Jacqueline says she wants to make it more comfortable for everyone and is glad to explain where she was coming from. Whatever that insane place might be. Siggy says Dolores loves her. Jacqueline says she knows Dolores explodes, but then gets over it. She wants to get to the bottom of the animosity with Teresa, but has no interest in Melissa.

Dolores joins them and Siggy starts crying again. What is wrong with her? Dolores apologizes to Jacqueline. Jacqueline gives some half-assed explanation about her paranoia. She says she knows Dolores’s heart. She wants to talk to Teresa and Melissa one on one. Siggy tells Jacqueline that Teresa was sincere, but Jacqueline wonders why she took the first opportunity to disband the friendship. This woman is so delusional. The first time she saw Teresa after she got home, she took the opportunity to be insulting, and she did all that finger-in-the-face stuff in Vermont.

The second Teresa and Melissa get in the room, Jacqueline demands that Teresa sit across from her and Melissa leave the room. She wants to talk one on one. She has a ride waiting if they refuse. She says it’s the way she likes to do things. Teresa says she doesn’t call the shots, and she says she is today. Teresa calls her “teacher,” and Jacqueline doesn’t like it. Teresa asks if Miss Teacher is better, and Jacqueline asks if bitch is better. Teresa asks if a word I’m not going to type is better. Jacqueline tells Melissa to leave the room again. Siggy says she’s giving them orders, and no one wants to be spoken to like a child. Teresa says she thinks Jacqueline is evil to the core. Jacqueline wants everyone to leave. I don’t think evil is the word I’d use, but she’s something abnormal. Dolores suggests everyone try something new and speak softly. Jacqueline asks if Teresa needs a back up, and Teresa says yes, she does. She wants everyone to see what’s going on. Joacqueline says call her when she can talk one on one (which will be never) and leaves. In the other room, Jacqueline apologizes to Dolores. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Teresa and Melissa animals. WTF?

Teresa says Jacqueline is a coward. Melissa says when Jacqueline is in a situation where she isn’t controlling things, it’s run, Forest, run. Agreed. Which is why I find her tagline so amusing. Teresa says she’s conniving and twisted. Siggy asks Dolores if she thinks Jacqueline handled things wrong. Dolores does, and they go out to find her. Jacqueline definitely sees them. The car slows down and she sticks her head out the door, but then they drive away. Why don’t they dump this chick?

Dolores says on a good day you don’t speak to an Italian like that. Teresa says Jacqueline wants them out of the room so no one else can tell her she’s wrong. Melissa says if you have nothing to hide, you don’t run. Teresa tells them that Jacqueline is dead to her. Melissa adds that she took off her mask. Dolores thinks no one was mentally prepared for the meeting. Huh?

Teresa says she’s been home three months and it feels like she never left. She thanks them for being supportive.

It’s the finale, so they have the little blurbs about what everyone is doing. It’s all boring. Until we get to Teresa – whose yoga partner is now Danielle Staub. I don’t even know what to say.

Next time, the reunion. Duck and run.

Oct24

October 23, 2016 – Once Upon Aladdin, Walking Dead Reveal & NJ’s Dolores’s Kitchen Gets Warmed

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

In the capital of Agribah, the market is busy and Jafar pushes people around. He corrals three guys, telling them that the Sultan doesn’t tolerate thieves and neither does he. He zaps them and poof! they turn into rats in a cloud of red smoke. Maybe dusty rose is closer.

Jasmine comes to Aladdin’s rug shop. She’s there to hire him. He wonder if she shouldn’t be in a palace, but she’s unhappy there. She wants Aladdin to help her defeat Jafar. He’s not interested, but she tells him look in his pocket. He finds a royal scarab as payment. When he tries to give it back, she screams, “thief!” and he says he’ll help just to shut her up. She wants him to steal a weapon called the Diamond in the Rough.

Emma’s visions are still haunting her. She and Archie walk through the forest. They find the Oracle, but she keels over dead. So much for her part. A girl runs past them. Emma runs after her and the girl falls. It’s Shireen.

Emma and David talk to Shireen. Emma asks what her story is and says maybe they can help. Shireen explains that she’s really Princess Jasmine, but says she didn’t kill the Oracle and doesn’t know who did. The Oracle was helping her find Aladdin. She says he was special and the Savior.

The Evil Queen shows up at Archie’s office. She wants to talk about Emma. She says Hyde told her that the Oracle gave Emma visions of her future, and Archie realizes the Evil Queen is the one who killed the Oracle. She asks him to team up for old time’s sake. He tells her no way, and she turns herself into his clone. She says if he won’t help, she’ll ask Emma herself.

Zelena tends to her baby, and finds Archie  in her kitchen tied up. He wants her to untie him, but she says her sister must have her reasons. He tries using psychology to trick her into setting him free, but it doesn’t work.

The Evil Queen sees Emma, who sees her as Archie. “Archie” says they have more to explore, but Emma says the plans have changed. She says Aladdin is another Savior and she has to help find him. She drives off in her yellow VW bug.

In the old world, Jasmine takes Aladdin to the Cave of Wonders. She says he’ll learn everything he needs from there. He jokes around, but she tells him it’s serious. Rather than living a life of comfort, she wants to save the world. He says she can’t blame Jafar for everything though. It’s been bad for a while, and only when her own family was persecuted did she get involved. He tells her that she’s selfish. He juggles an apple and gives it to her, making her smile.

They approach the cave. The closed entrance stumps Aladdin she wonders how hard a little breaking and entering can be for a thief. He says “Open Sezme!.” Nothing happens. But then the door slowly opens. He says, after her.

The Storybrooke group gathers at Emma’s place. David says they’re not giving up on finding Aladdin, but it doesn’t look good. The Evil Queen as Archie enters. He says Emma has a secret, encouraging her to tell her family. Emma says she’s been having visions of what she thinks is her future. She says all of the Saviors died, but she thought if she found Aladdin alive, he could help her avoid her fate. As they argue, Archie leaves and turns back to the Evil Queen outside.

Emma says Regina isn’t there in the vision. Regina wonders if she’s dead or if she’s the hooded figure. She says they’ll find another way to track down Aladdin and tells them meet in her vault in an hour. Jasmine wonders if Aladdin is dead.

The Cave of Wonders definitely is. Lots of gold and treasure and a booby trapped rough diamond. Aladdin sees a gold monkey and uses it as a weight so he can take the diamond. It turns to dust in his hands and the cave starts to shake. He covers Jasmine. When it’s over, she says he’s magic. He asks if she knew that would happen, and she says she suspected. The actual gem wasn’t the Diamond in the Rough; he is. He can challenge Jafar and defeat him and be the Savior of Agribah.

In today’s Storybrooke, Jasmine is sitting in Henry’s room and he tells her that she can play his X-Box or whatever helps. She feels like she’s intruding, but he says he knows it’s hard on her. She says the worst part is knowing that being a Savior is a death sentence, and back in Agribah, she’s the one who encouraged Aladdin. Henry says he did the same thing with his mother, but maybe Hyde is wrong. Jasmine hopes so, for both their sakes.

Snow says Emma should have been honest. Emma says she didn’t lie, she was just scared. David gets a message from Leroy. He had an appointment with Archie, but Archie never showed.

The Evil Queen pops into Zelena’s place and says thanks for watching Archie. She tells Zelena to come with her and let Archie babysit. She says Zelena’s little sister is going to make everything better.

Zelena and the Evil Queen go to the spa and gossip. The Evil Queen asks if this isn’t what Zelena always wanted, a family that supports her? She says the rest want Zelena to squelch her gifts. She says she lied to Henry for years, but she never gave him a chance to accept the real her. She tells Zelena that she’s strong, powerful, and wicked, and that her daughter might turn out as wonderfully wicked as she is.

Regina concocts a potion. It’s a locator spell. She says there’s one thing Aladdin didn’t steal – his magic. If he’s alive, it’s still with him. She tells Emma to drink it and they’ll go find him.

Back in the day, Aladdin asks why Jasmine didn’t tell him, but she says he wouldn’t have believed her. She says that the scarab was a gift to her family for freeing the kingdom from darkness. Now it’s his. Even if he doesn’t believe in himself, she believes in him. She leaves Aladdin in the cave.

Jafar appears, asking how it feels to be a Savior. He asks if Aladdin wants to see what happens, and produces an Oracle bird that looks an awful lot like a cardinal. The bird’s eyes glow and Aladdin sees death. Jafar says that death is the fate of all Saviors, but there’s a way to alter his destiny. He shows Aladdin a pair of gold shears that can sever the ties. He’ll live a long, prosperous, happy life, paid for by the treasures in the cave, and no longer be Savior. Jafar asks if prince doesn’t sound more appealing than dead Savior.

In Agribah, Jasmine finds her father. She wants to get him somewhere safe; a great battle is coming. She says Jafar has torn the kingdom apart, but she’s found a Savior to defeat him. Jafar appears and says that sounds like treason. She tells Jafar a Savior is coming. He says her Savior had a heart for gold rather than a heart of gold, and the only thing between Aladdin and the throne is her. Jafar puts Jasmine inside of a huge hourglass. The sand begins to pile up around her.

Aladdin swoops in on a flying carpet and tells Jafar not to be so sure. He breaks the glass, releasing Jasmine, who is about to be covered in sand. Jafar says Aladdin has never had to pay a price for anything, but someday he will, and he’ll know this was no victory.

Jasmine thought Aladdin abandoned them, but he says she changed his mind. The king wonders who Aladdin is. Aladdin says he’s returning something she lost and gives her the scarab. She wants him to keep it as a remembrance that a friend believes in him.

The Storybrooke gang walks through the forest. Emma feels a quake and steers Henry in another direction. They go underground, and Regina says they’re under the cemetery in a forgotten crypt. Jasmine says Emma must have made a mistake. She looks around in the dark with a flashlight and sees the scarab. She says Emma is right: he’s there. Regina asks if she’s sure it’s Aladdin, and she says yes. I’m not. Henry asks what this means, but Emma doesn’t know. She needs to be alone.

Emma has her vision. Henry interrupts. He says he’s sorry and it’s all his fault. He says if he’d never knocked on her door and dragged her to Storybrooke in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. He forced her to be Savior. Emma says now she has actual magic in her life – him – and she has a family now. She tells him not to worry about the end of the story, just enjoy the middle of the journey together. They hug. Aladdin appears. He tells Emma from one Savior to another, it’s no fun.

In Agribah, Aladdin and Jasmine walk through the market. Her father wants Aladdin to have his pick of the royal treasures, but he says he doesn’t want that. Jasmine asks what he does want. He says just to be Savior. He asks Jasmine to go away with him; he wants to show her the world. She says she can’t; there’s much work to be done in the kingdom. She says it’s not good-by. He’ll defeat Jafar and he knows where to find her.

Aladdin finds the shears in his bag along with a note from Jafar – for a rainy day, or coming storm, or when the Savior’s burden becomes too much.

Aladdin tells Emma that he used them and ran to the Enchanted Forest to hide. Emma realizes he planted the scarab at the crypt. He never intended to reveal himself, but after hearing Emma and Henry, he couldn’t do it. Henry says he has to go to Jasmine. Aladdin says he doesn’t want to see the look in her eyes when she realizes he’s just a common thief. Emma doesn’t think that will happen.

Jasmine sits on a park bench and looks at the scarab. Aladdin approaches. They embrace. She thought he was dead and he thought he’d never see her again. He asks now what. She says now he needs to help her. Agribah is in terrible danger and needs the Savior. He’s like, um….

The Evil Queen and Zelena get back. Archie asks if they’re going to torture and kill him. Zelena tells him not to be ridiculous; she has to show her daughter who her mommy is. She turns Archie into a cricket and puts him in a cage above the baby’s crib. OMG – he’s so cute!

The group gathers. Emma says she doesn’t want to use the shears. Aladdin didn’t trust the people he loved, and that’s why he failed. If her magic comes with a price, they’ll pay it. David says they can protect her and the town. Hook says he’s with her, and she apologizes for not trusting him. She says no more secrets and gives him the shears so they don’t fall into the wrong hands. Emma tells Hook to get rid of them.

Emma watches as Hook goes out in a rowboat. He comes back and says they’re ten thousand leagues under the sea. She thanks him. He promises that she’ll have her heart’s desire. She leaves him on the dock. We see he still has the shears. Bad Hook.

Next time, Hook travels 20,000 leagues under the sea.

The Walking Dead

All right, let’s get it over with. I don’t even care anymore. Unless it’s Daryl.

Rick says he’s going to kill Negan. Good luck with that. Negan asks him to speak up. Rick says not today or tomorrow, but he’s going to kill him. Negan asks right hand man Simon what he has, and Simon says a hatchet. He plays with Rick a little and asks for the ax.

Negan shows Rick the ax. He puts it in his belt. He drags Rick off. He says maybe Rick will be back and they can turn the people inside out who are left. We see a bloody pulp. So who died? Are they going to stretch this out even more? I’m annoyed already and it’s only four minutes into the show.

Negan kicks Rick’s ass around the RV and then suggests they go for a ride. The trailer won’t start and he calls it a piece of sh*t. He laughs about Rick saying he’s going to kill him, and asks if Rick saw what he just did. I didn’t. He says Rick’s best bet is to get him in the back of the head with the ax, but when Rick picks it up, Negan is faster. He tells Rick to drop it and pounds him when he does. He tells Rick not to make him get up again, like he’s dad on a Sunday car ride. He says that dawn is braking and it’s a brand new day. He wants Rick to think about what happened, and what could still happen. He starts to drive.

Negan drives into a zombie who splatters all over the windshield. We see flashes of Rosita, Sasha and Glenn. Negan stops the van. He says Rick is his, and the people back there are his, and Lucille is his. Okay. I get it. Everything is his. He opens the door and throws out the ax, telling Rick to go get it. He threatens Rick with Lucille and says get his ax. Negan finally tosses Rick out the door. The zombies surround Rick, but he fights them off.

We see a flash of Abe. Rick fights off more zombies. We see an Aaron flash back and more zombies. Abe again, and more zombies. Maggie, and more zombies. Rick climbs to the top of the van and a zombie pulls at him. A flash of Daryl. Rick gets to the roof. He stands up and looks out. There are lots of small fires everywhere and tons of zombies wandering around. A Michonne flash back. Rick sees a zombie hanging from a bridge and falls to his knees. A Carl flash back. Negan says they thought they were all going to grow old together and have Sunday dinner, but now it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.

Rick flashes back to when Negan first appeared. Negan does that eenie, meenie, minie, mo thing. We move on to the my mother told me part, and I’m thinking this is taking forever. Rick sweats and shakes. It’s Abe. After the first wallop, Abe tells Negan to suck his nuts. Alrighty then.

Negan keeps pounding on Abe long after he’s dead. What’s the point? Especially since it just looked like he was hitting the ground. (Wattup wit dat, editing department?) Negan flings Lucille around, getting blood everywhere. He shoves the bat in Rosita’s face and asks if they were together. He says it sucks, but there was a reason. He took it for the team, so take a look. Daryl jumps up and punches him and a bunch of guys take Daryl down. Negan laughs. He says that’s a no-no and won’t fly here. A guy asks if Negan wants Daryl dead, and points his crossbow at him. Negan says no, he doesn’t die until they’ve tried everything. Guess he wants to keep Daryl around because he’s feisty.

Negan says this isn’t how it works. (That’s not how any of this works!) The first one is free. He doesn’t know what kind of lying a-holes they’ve been dealing with, but he’s a man of his word and first impressions are important. He needs them to know him. (Get to know me!) He whacks Glenn with Lucille. I guess the first one wasn’t free? Glenn tells Maggie he’ll find her. Negan asks if Glenn is trying to speak and we see Glenn’s eyeball practically hanging out. Negan says he’s truly sorry, but he did say no exceptions and beats Glenn some more. The focus is on how distraught Maggie is, but we hear the bat keep hitting. Lots of blood flies, and Negan says he’s just getting started. He says Lucille is a vampire bat. Rick looks spacey, and Negan asks if the joke was that bad. It was pretty stupid.

Back in the present, Negan tells Rick that the rest of them don’t have to die, and get him his ax. Because he’s really Joan Crawford. He says it’s Rick’s last chance and starts shooting through the RV roof. Rick jumps onto the hanging zombie. The others grab at his feet. Hanging zombie’s neck stretches until Rick reaches the ground. Negan shoots at the zombies and tells Rick the clock is ticking. Rick climbs over the zombie pile and finds the ax. He ends up next to a head that’s trying to bite.

As Rick kills each zombie, he sees each character getting hit by Lucille. Did this happen or is that just his motivation? Negan shoots the zombies remaining around Rick, and Rick gets back in the RV. Negan holds out his hand and Rick gives him the ax. Road trip!

Rick is understandably tired and starts to nod out. The RV stops. Negan says, “We’re here, prick,” and I laugh. Is he going to call him that now? Negan says it must be hard, since Rick has been King Sh*t for so long. Losing two of his own in front of his boy is screwed up. He wipes the ax blade on Rick’s jacket, saying tht Rick was probably addicted to being in charge, but now that’s over. He says Rick can still lead a nice productive life, producing for Negan. He gives Rick the ax and says he thinks Rick is going to need it.

When they get back, Rick tumbles out of the RV. Negan asks Rick if he knows what that trip was about. Um…power trip? He wanted Rick to look at him differently, and he wants Rick to understand. He says that Rick is still looking at him like he sh*t in his scrambled eggs, and it’s not going to work. He asks if he should give Rick another chance and Rick says yes. Negan says what he does next determines if his crap day becomes everyone else’s crap day or just another crap day. He tells his men to put guns at the back of everyone’s heads.

Negan tells Carl to come to him. I can’t imagine they’d take Carl away from the teens and tweens and 16 Magazine. He asks if Carl is a lefty. He isn’t and Negan ties Carl’s right arm with a belt like he would for a shot. He tells him to get down next to Rick. He asks Simon for a pen and draws a line on Carl’s forearm. Rick asks what he’s doing, and Negan says he ain’t doin’ sh*t, which is apparently his favorite word. He wants Rick to cut Carl’s arm off at the line. Michonne says he doesn’t have to do this; they understand. Negan says she might, but he’s not sure that Rick does. He gives Rick instructions, saying they have a great doctor and Carl will be fine. Probably. It needs to happen now or he’ll kill Carl. Rick says do it to him instead, but Negan says it’s the only way. Joan Negan tells him to pick up the ax. He says not making a decision is making a big decision, and Rick will see everyone die. He asks if Rick is going to make him count. Rick gets embarrassingly weepy and Negan slaps him, telling him this is it. Carl tells him just do it. He raises the ax and Negan stops him, saying Rick answers to him and provides to him and belongs to him, right? Rick says right, and Negan says that’s the look he wanted to see. Ooh, it’s like an Abraham sacrificing his son thing. Except Negan is a lot meaner than God.

Negan says all of us together did it, and even the dead guys get the spirit award today. He says it was a productive day, and he hopes for all their sakes that they get it now and understand how things work. Things have changed. Whatever they had going for them is over now. He tells Dwight to load Daryl up and they toss him in the van. Negan says he has guts; he’s not a little bitch like some people. He asks if Rick still wants to try something. If he does, he’ll cut pieces off of Daryl and put him on Rick’s doorstep or better yet he’ll have Rick do it.

Negan tells them, welcome to a brand new beginning. He leaves the truck so they can get stuff for him. He’ll be back in a week.

Negan and his men leave. Rick’s group sits staring into space, some crying, some just stunned. I guess they don’t have to worry about Glenn and Abe turning into walkers, since their heads were smashed to pulps. They sit quietly. Maggie gets up. Rick tells her to sit, but she says no. He says they need to get her to Hilltop, and she says they need to fight them. Rick says they have Daryl and they have an army; they would die, all of them. Maggie tells him to go home and take everyone. They need to go to Alexandria. She says they were out there for her and Rick says they still are.

Maggie says she needs them to go back. She can’t have them out there. Michonne says they’re not letting her go; it’s not going to help. Sasha says she’ll take her. She’ll get her there and keep her safe. Maggie is not looking too good. Maggie says she needs to do this, but Aaron says they need to help her. Rick begs her to let them help. He says Glenn was their family too. Maggie breaks down crying. She hugs Carl. They lift the bodies – or what’s left of them. There’s a crane shot of Maggie between the two blood spots.

We see everyone around a table with Glenn holding a little boy.

Rick picks up the ax. He goes in the RV, closes the door, and starts it up. He stares at a single zombie. It screeches at them as they drive away. He sees it fall to its knees. Rick’s eyes are fearful.

Next time, Negan takes over.

Seriously annoying and distracting were the several commercials featuring zombies that made me think the show was back on.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Melissa and Joe #2 go to Teresa’s house with Chinese food. Milania complains about Teresa being boring and daddy being more fun. Joe asks if Teresa has talked to Joe #1 yet, but she hasn’t. Milania says she’s going to have grey hair by the time her father gets back.

Milania rides the ATV and Joe #2 stops her from riding so fast. He tells her she doesn’t want her dad to come home to her in the hospital. Melissa asks Teresa if she’s going to Dolores’s kitchen warming party. Teresa isn’t thrilled that Jacqueline will be there, but wants to be supportive. They talk about the transition Teresa is going through with Joe #1 going into the clink.

Siggy and Dolores talk to a party planner about Dolores’s party. Really? Siggy is proud of Dolores for getting her gym going and not having ex-husband Frank pay for everything. They talk about Teresa and Melissa being with Jacqueline in the same room, and hope that no one clashes.

Melissa talks to Derek about the fashion show. Her partner isn’t going to be there, so it’s just her and two employees. She demonstrates a runway walk.

Jacqueline is hoarse. Probably from yelling at people. We can only hope she gets full blown laryngitis. She and Chris talk about who’s going to be at the party. Jacqueline says she’s not ready to talk to Teresa and Melissa, and Chris says he’s staying out of it. Wise move.

It’s party time! Siggy and kids arrive first. Dolores says renovating the house has helped her move forward with her life. Siggy asks if Dolores is nervous about Teresa and Jacqueline being together, but she says no, and expects them to act like big girls. Has she seen this show before? She expects a lot. Dolores’s mom shows up. Everyone is very impressed. It’s definitely a beautiful kitchen. Even more impressive is that Dolores’s grandmother is 102 years old. Siggy asks for her secret, but she says if she told, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. Dolores explains the Jacqueline/Teresa fight to her. I’m sure it’s just what she wants to hear about, especially being on borrowed time.

On the way over, Joe #2 asks what Melissa is going to say to Jacqueline. She says she has nothing to say and didn’t deserve to be screamed at. Joe says she deserves an apology. She calls Teresa, but Teresa says she’s not going to make it. The girls are missing Joe #1 and he’s going to call tonight, so she wants to be there.

Creepy Kim D arrives. Siggy makes a point of introducing son Josh, saying he came out of her “cookie.” Why? Why would you say something like that? Dolores brings a statue of the Virgin Mary into the room, hoping that the Blessed Mother will watch after everyone. I laugh because it reminds me of my aunt and her statue of St. Anthony. He’s the patron saint of lost things, and if she prayed to him and still couldn’t find something, she’d turn his face to the wall. When Melissa gets there, she says she sees the trouble makers are there already and heads for the kitchen. The most sickening thing is that Jacqueline is wearing a shirt that says Nama’ Stay Away From Me, obviously geared to bug Teresa. There is something wrong with this woman.

Melissa tells Dolores that Teresa won’t be coming. Dolores understands and is going to send her a text. The Wakhili gang comes in. In his interview, Joe #2 says their issues are minor and he’s going to be nice. He goes over to say hello and none of them are that friendly, but Jacqueline is totally icy. Rich makes rude remarks about having a foursome with Rosie.

Dolores is a little annoyed about Jacqueline’s shirt. I’d make her go home and change. Since she can’t start trouble with Teresa not there, Jacqueline wants to leave. Chris approaches Joe #2 and says Jacqueline feels like she wasn’t given the opportunity to give her side of the story about Vermont. Chris thinks Joe should have called him. Joe says he respects that Chris sticks up for his wife, and he does the same, but when they’re wrong you should say so. He says Jacqueline went buck wild on Melissa. Chris says she defended herself, and Joe wonders if hey were at the same party. I think Chris should take a look at the shirt his wife is wearing and justify that. And why is this dude even involving the two of them?

Chris says Jacqueline deserves more love than she got. All she got was a smack in the face. Joe #2 points out how cold Jacqueline was when he said hello. He says frankly he thinks they were both wrong. He mentions the fashion show, but Chris is like, you didn’t come to our popcorn event and Jacqueline is still feeling sensitive. He adds they should get together soon, just to confuse things more. Sensitive Jacqueline starts beeping the car horn.

Dolores makes a toast thanking everyone for coming.

Siggy takes her mom for a hair makeover. She feels badly about her mom saying they don’t spend enough time together. Afterwards, they’re going to lunch. She wants to see her mother enjoy her life more. She tells her mother that they’re coming every week from now on. She wants her to know how valuable she is.

Milania helps Teresa with Joe #1‘s chores. She keeps comparing how Teresa does things to how Joe does them. Teresa asks what she misses and if there’s anything she can do to make it better. Milania says no one can replace him and Teresa is embarrassing.

Siggy takes her mother to lunch. She says she doesn’t like the fact that her mother doesn’t take enough time for herself. She says sometimes she feels sad being with her. Her mom says that she appreciates the time she has, especially since she missed them so much when she lived in Israel.

Dolores is having a ladies’ night at the gym. Teresa is teaching a yoga class, and Siggy is coming to talk about her book, Write Your Own Fairy Tale.

Jacqueline is feeling worse. Chris thinks she should see a doctor. Chris tells her about the conversation with Joe. She writes on a pad that no freaking way is she going to the fashion show.

Dolores leaves a message for Jacqueline. She says she’s not expecting her to come to ladies’ night, but she’s helped in the past, and Dolores wants her to know she’s appreciated. Robyn shows up, which surprises Dolores a little. She tells Robyn that she has no problem with her, except for her not getting along with Jacqueline. Robyn says she has no reason not to get along with Dolores. Teresa says too bad; she wants nothing to do with Jacqueline anymore.

Melissa is anxious about the fashion show. She says there’s so much going on and she can’t figure out how it will all come together. Joe calls her into the bathroom to help with shaving his back. She tries to convince him that she’s in the middle of something right now.

Teresa’s class begins. She explains she’s getting her certification and teaches several poses. In her interview, Teresa says she love the way yoga makes her feel, and that it’s good for both your body and mind. Afterward, the girls all have a health food version of a martini, some kind of smoothie concoction.

Siggy discusses having the life of your dreams. Dolores thanks everyone for comeing she says as women they all have something to share and have to stick together. In her interview, she says she feels like she’s back.

Teresa makes breakfast. Milania says if her egg sandwich isn’t like dad’s, she’s throwing it out. Teresa tries to talk to her, but she doesn’t want to discuss her father. Gabriela doesn’t understand why they have to talk about it and says it’s fine. In her interview, Teresa says they’re trying to find the new normal.

Melissa gets ready for the fashion show. She wants to prove to Joe that she’s not just bringing in crumbs. It’s time for a run through and Melissa is still adding last minute outfits. Joe #2 has to get the kids ready, and wonders what the blip happened to his life. A question I often ask myself.

On the way to the fashions show, Dolores and Siggy discuss who’s coming or not. Dolores says Jacqueline is accusing her of saying she was a no-show at the gym event and whined because her name wasn’t on the flyer. It escalated into an argument that Dolores ended with an F-U. Dolores says she’s heard nothing except Jacqueline badmouthing her. She says Jacqueline has alienated herself and she’s not gong to be a whipping post. Siggy thinks Jacqueline is paranoid and insecure. Who is the common denominator in all of these arguments, people?

Next time, the finale – Melissa’s fashion show happens, Teresa might need to sell the house, Jacqueline alienates herself further, and Siggy invites Jacqueline over. It doesn’t look like it ends well.

Oct17

October 16, 2016 – Once’s Jekyll & Hyde Finish Their Story & NJ’s Joe #1 Starts His Sentence

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

I gotta say, Hyde and the Evil Queen make a handsome couple.

Gold fiddles with some kind of magnifying mirror and comes out with a haircut. The Evil Queen is waiting and she’s impressed at how well he’s cleaned up. Hyde has come with her and says Gold can change the outside, but what’s inside is still there. Gold tells Hyde to get lost, but Hyde wants a cameo necklace that’s in Gold’s shop. Hyde isn’t offering anything in return, and Gold strangles him without touching him, but he and the Queen just laugh, the Evil Queen telling him that he can’t kill Hyde. Gold let’s go and Hyde sees the necklace. He says it has meaning to him. He’s going to take it and Gold is going to let him. He says the stories are going to play themselves out, whether Gold likes it or not, and it’s likely not. Gold tells the Evil Queen that she promised not to touch Belle. She says yes, she has a deal with him, but Hyde says he doesn’t.

David cooks a massive breakfast for Emma. He says once Hook moves in with her, they won’t see her as much, but she says she’ll still come for breakfast. Regina comes by with Jekyll. She says Hyde has escaped and when Jekyll woke up, he found a cameo that belonged to someone he cared deeply about.

Back in the day, Jekyll’s friend, Mary, adjusts his tie. She tells him her father is going to be impressed with his research. Jekyll tells her that he’s working on a serum that can separate a man’s personality in two, separating his good nature from the beast inside, so he can be in control. He wants Mary’s father to grant him membership to the science academy, but when her father drops by, he says Jekyll’s work is too dangerous. He and Mary leave and Jekyll smashes stuff.

Rumpelstiltskin pops in and says he’s there to help Jekyll. He has a vested interest in his work. He says that what Jekyll sees as strength might actually be weakness. Jekyll says something about particles that he can’t get to do whatever, and Rumpel tosses some magic around, fixing it. He asks Jekyll how far he’ll go to get what he wants. Jekyll swallows the serum.

Hook gives Belle a conch shell. He tells her it’s mermaid magic. If she needs help, she’s to call into it and he’ll hear her. Gold pops in and says he’s there to protect them both. Belle says they only need protection from him. He tells them that Hyde is on the warpath, but Belle doesn’t understand why he’s interested in them, and wants Gold to go away. Gold says he’ll go, but casts a protection spell on the boat. Belle can’t leave because of it and gets pretty annoyed.

Snow brings Henry to school. Jasmine is wandering the halls, lost. She introduces herself as Shireen, and Snow realizes that she’s her class assistant. Jasmine tells her that she’s from the group of Untold Story people. Snow talks about how she decided to become a teacher again.

Jekyll is at an impasse with the serum. Emma asks Regina if she’ll talk to Hyde. She and David are going to hunt down Hyde and the Evil Queen. Jekyll asks Grumpy to bring back a sandwich which makes Grumpy grumpier, since he’s not an errand boy.

In the past, Hyde looks at himself, not recognizing his reflection. Rumpel tells him he’s parts of a man and comes up with the name Hyde. Hyde goes to a ball at Mary’s house and introduces himself to her father, saying that he’s a friend of Jekyll’s. Mary says Jekyll has never mentioned him and Hyde says Jekyll has definitely mentioned her. Mary’s father speaks to Hyde alone, telling him if he’s there to plead Jekyll’s case, he’s not letting him into the academy. Hyde tells him that he and Jekyll heard all about his new lab assistant, and alludes that she’s more than an assistant.

Grumpy brings Jekyll’s sandwich back. He wants to go back to his real job of being the wall between chaos and calm. Regina comes in and knocks Grumpy out with some magic. Hyde is with her and says they were led to him by the cameo, which has a beckoning spell on it. He tells Jekyll that they’re going to see what the monster he made can really do.

Snow is teaching Newton’s third law of motion, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. She asks for volunteers to solve the equation on the board, but there are no takers. This seems real.

Regina goes to Gold’s shop He says he’s seen the Evil Queen, but wasn’t interested in what she had to offer. Regina tells him that Jekyll has a serum that can stop Hyde, but they need his help.

In the old days, Jekyll wakes up with a headache, and Rumpel shows him his invite into the academy. Rumpel tells him he has to snag Mary before another suitor does, and tells him to let Hyde do the talking. Jekyll asks what he wants, and Rumpel says he needs the serum. He wants to make sure it works though and tells him to let Mr Hyde out to play.

Regina and Gold go to Jekyll’s lab. Everything is destroyed. Jekyll tells Regina that Gold doesn’t care about their cause, and Gold says Hyde is Jekyll, except smarter and stronger. Jekyll produces a vial of the serum, which he’d hidden. Regina takes it. Gold reaches for it, but she tells him to work his magic from a distance. Suddenly, he grabs Jekyll’s heart. Gold tells Regina that he did make a deal with the Evil Queen because of Belle. He takes out the magic dagger and pours the serum on the blade. He says Regina can no more fight the darkness than he can, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of red smoke. Well, actually it’s sort of magenta.

Snow goes through her student’s papers and says the students don’t remember anything she taught them. Jasmine says she was gone a while. She tells Snow that once her kingdom needed a princess and perished for lack of one. She says that for the students to reach their potential, she needs to embrace who she is, Snow White.

Jekyll visits the Jolly Roger. He tells Hook and Belle that Gold took the serum and has a deal with the Evil Queen. Hook leaves to help. Belle tells Jekyll that she’s sorry about Gold. He says nothing can bring back Mary, the girl he loved until Hyde destroyed the love.

Way back when, Hyde sees Mary walking in the woods at night, which strikes me as really odd. Mary says he left her curious, and asks if he’s known Jekyll long. He says their entire lives, and he’s here on Jekyll’s behalf. Jekyll has feelings for her. She says she likes him, but can’t be with him that way – she needs someone with passion and who can give in to desire. She thinks he understands. She says she saw the way other people looked at him; they were afraid, but she saw a man unencumbered by fear and social obligation. She asks how he does that, and he says he doesn’t know, maybe he was just made that way. They kiss. A few times. A lot.

In the same woods in the present, Emma asks David if he’s okay with her and Hook. He says at first he was against it, but if she’s happy, he’s happy. Hyde approaches them and Emma zaps him, but he ducks. He flattens David and runs. Gold enters the picture and stabs him with the dagger. He asks if this is how Hyde imagined his story playing out. Hyde says yes, and pulls the dagger out. He also pulls out the vial of serum. Gold realizes that Hyde switched the vials. Hyde wants to show Gold the end of his story and watch him suffer. He holds up the dagger and tells Gold he wants to go to Belle. They both disappear, poof! in a two-person capacity cloud of magenta smoke.

Snow takes the kids outside. She nails their assignments to a tree. She tells them that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. She shoots an arrow into the papers to demonstrate. She asks if they’d like to try.

Hyde and Gold go to the Jolly Roger. Gold says Hyde won’t have the vial forever, but Hyde says he’s not harming Belle, and he isn’t the monster Gold needs to worry about.

In old Storybrooke, Jekyll wakes up next to Mary. She asks how he got there and where’s Hyde? He says he sent Hyde to talk to her and she brought him here? She says it’s none of his business and where is he? Jekyll says he is Hyde. She’s like forget it, you’re crazy. He tries to convince her and they struggle, and she falls out the window to her death. He quickly drinks the serum. Way to go. Now Hyde will be in trouble, not him. The people below see Hyde in the window. Mary’s father and another guy enter the room and Hyde runs.

Belle tells Jekyll that she’s sorry about what Hyde did to Mary. He says if she’d been strong enough to resist Hyde, she’d have been his. Belle pretends to get sugar for the tea and picks up the shell. Jekyll grabs her hand, she drops it, and it breaks. She stabs him with a piece of it and he chases her up to the deck. She calls to Gold to lift the spell, but he can’t. Hyde says here comes the real villain.

Jekyll comes up and says it’s he chance he needed to make the Dark One pay. Gold says Belle has nothing to do with this, and Hyde says neither did Mary. Hook appears and struggles with Jekyll, who meets his end by getting impailed on a fishhook. Hyde says the story isn’t over yet, and starts to command Gold to do something, but keels over. He and Jekyll die in tandem. Gold says there was one final twist.

Regina says now they know the serum works Gold says Hyde destroyed it The only way to destroy one’s doppleganger is to kill the original Regina says the way to take out the Evil Queen….and Gold finsihes is to kill her.

Emma sees Regina on the dock and asks if she’s okay. She says to get rid of the Evil Queen, she has to die. They thought Hyde was the evil one, but the capacity for evil was the same in Jekyll. She says Emma trusted her to keep her family safe in Camelot, and she needs to trust her if it comes to this.

Gold approaches Belle. He says he wanted to make a fresh start, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She says he destroyed two lives instead of one, and what could be worth all this destruction?

In olden times, Hyde packs his bags, and Rumpel says things just started to get interesting. He says the news is everywhere. Hyde says he didn’t kill Mary; it was Jekyll. Rumpel asks how he could be so weak, and says it’s all a failure; his experiment has been a waste. Rumpel tells Hyde that he should kill him now, but instead he’ll have to share a life with the weakness inside him. Hyde asks why he did this. and Rumpel says his reasons are just that, his.

Belle asks Gold why he did this. He says it was all about her. He sought Jekyll out when Belle became the maid in his castle. He thought his feelings for her would make him weak.. but the experiment was a failure. He took the necklace and sent Jekyll to the Land of Untold Stories. Belle asks what would have happened if Hook hadn’t come along? She tells Gold that it costs to much to be with him. She says he cut his hair for him, not her, because he’s tired of looking at the man in the mirror. I know that song is now playing in your head too. Belle says she’ll always see him for who he really is. Ouch.

Gold says she doesn’t think she needs him, but she will. The child she’s carrying is his, and if she wants what’s best for him, she’ll come back. He says necessity will convince her.

Snow has something for Jasmine. She gives her an apple, telling her it’s a teacher tradition. It’s a Snow White tradition too, so I’d be careful. She asks if the princess from Jasmine’s kingdom ever fixed things. Jasmine says she came from the Land of Untold Stories, but she doen’s think so. Snow says ir still could happen.

Jasmine walks thorugh the woods and meets the Oracle. Jasmine says they have no idea who she really is and asks the Oracle if there’s evidence he’s there. She says she didn’t come all this way not to find Aladdin. The Oracle promises they’ll find him.

Next time, answers for Emma lie within Aladdin’s story.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

I still say Dolores should keep her nose to herself regarding whether Chris goes to Joe #1‘s going away party. Who would take advice from her anyway? Unless it’s about how to leech off of your ex-husband.

Teresa and Joe #1 take the girls to a cupcake making class. Joe demonstrates how to ice them, since it’s similar to stucco work. Teresa is trying to make memories for him to think back on after he’s gone. Milania gives Joe a cupcake for his next birthday, since they won’t be together. That’s really touching and sweet. In her interview, Teresa says she’s doing everything in her power to make sure he girls aren’t scarred for life. The other girls give Joe cupcakes, and Milania sings happy birthday, smushing a cupcake in his face. He smushes her back and they take selfies. Joe talks to Gia about looking out for the others when he’s in the clink, and not dating anyone. Ever. He says he’ll be home before they can blink. They have a group hug.

Jacqueline goes baby shopping with Ashlee. Ashlee is consulting a mid-wife, and Jacqueline thinks she’s nuts for wanting a natural birth. Jacqueline says her phone is blowing up. Ashlee says she got a text from Melissa. Jacqueline wishes she hadn’t reacted to Teresa the way she did. Ashlee says Teresa has a lot going on, and Jacqueline says they made choices that had consequences. She tells Ashlee that  it’s not easy to be a mom. We flash back to turbulent times with Ashlee. Jacqueline gets weepy in her interview.

Siggy gathers the family together, including her parents. Siggy says she feels like she and the kids are drifting. After the trip to Vermont, she wants to communicate better. In her interview, she talks about moving to Israel in high school and how she ended up coming back to America and living with friends of the family. She doesn’t want her kids to run from her and be separated like she was from her parents.

Her mother says she knows Siggy is busy with her job and kids, but when they come to visit, she doesn’t even give them ten minutes. Siggy apologizes. Josh thinks it’s interesting that Siggy yells at him for the same things her own mother is upset about.

Melissa and Joe #2 get ready to go to Joe #1‘s party. Joe points out that while Teresa is having a bad week, Jacqueline is having a good one with a new baby coming. He wonders what’s going on in Joe #1‘ head. He says it’s almost like a funeral, and wonders what to say. Melissa says you can’t make this sh*t up, which is why we watch reality TV. In the car, Joe tells the kids not to go crazy, and to stay inside the restaurant.

Jacqueline and Chris go bowling with Richie and Kathy. Rosie and her girlfriend, Laura, join them. Even the worst of them is better than I am. Chris talks about Joe #1‘s party and how Dolores discouraged him from going. He says if anyone said something stupid about Jacqueline, there would be a problem, so he just sent a text. Hmm…I guess I can see his point. Why set yourself up for a fight?

Joe #2 asks Melissa if Jacqueline is coming to her fashion show, but she doesn’t know. She talks about not being invited to the popcorn event. Melissa says if Jacqueline wants to be an a-hole, it’s not important; getting through the next few days is important.

Chris asks Rosie if she said good-by to Joe #1. She says no, and he brings up how Joe gave her the cold shoulder at Teresa’s book signing. Rosie says she’s more focused on her new relationship. Chris says watching her bowl, he can tell she’s no good with balls. BA-DUM-CHH!

In her interview, Teresa says she was afraid the party wouldn’t be happy, but once she got there, it was actually fun being with friends and family. There’s a mechanical bull. Joe and Teresa get on together and fall off pretty quickly. Siggy says they’ll get through it. In her interview, she says you’d have to be an empty shell of a person not to be affected by a father leaving his four daughters, whether you think he deserves it or not. Joe says everyone is trying to make him cry. After years of watching these people, I feel like the Giudices are like those annoying cousins you have to invite to Thanksgiving. You love them, but would rather love them from a distance. I think they got made examples of because they’re so-called celebrities, and did something a lot of people skate for. As ridiculous as I find them, it does make me sad that the family is being separated. They really seem to care about one another and the girls are pretty good kids.

Dolores meets Siggy for lunch. She wants to have everyone over to see her new kitchen. Siggy tells her about having the family over. She calls it an intervention. She says she realized that she didn’t see her family for eight years. She talks about how her mother said she’s not spending enough time with her, and how Josh called her on it. She’s thinking of taking a family trip to the Holocaust Museum. In her interview, she says the kids know the names of every popular song and sports stats, but not their history. Siggy says all the unnecessary fighting among the women is sad.

Melissa talks with Derek about social media. She tells him to post more outfits on Instagram. She wants eight to ten posts a day, and their Instagram has to jive with their site. She says a customer should be able to buy everything that’s posted on Instagram immediately. She tells him that every day they lose money, and she wants to make back what they’ve pumped into it. Derek says they’ll get it done. Yeah, after he talks to Radar Online.

Siggy takes the kids to the Holocaust Museum. Her sister, Iris, meets them, along with her parents and Iris’s daughter. Siggy’s father, Malachi, talks about their family fleeing to France and how the French surrendered, so they were stuck there. In her interview, Siggy hopes her kids have a better appreciation for their good lives. Malachi talks about going to Switzerland, but when the war was over, they got kicked out and went back to Belgium. He says he was lucky he didn’t end up on a train or in a camp. Josh says he feels like a nurtured Jappy kid. Malachi says it’s important for him to be able to remember them being close together, because one day they won’t be here. They have a group hug and sing Hava Nageela.

Teresa and Joe #1 sit outside. She wonders if their German Shepherd knows he’s leaving, since he’s been nuzzling Joe, and Joe thinks he does. She doesn’t know how it’s going to hit her. She says in 16 years she was never away from him and he says she just was. Ha-ha! She means being there without him. She says she’ll know how he felt, but thinks it’s going to be harder. They grew up together and we flash back to some old good times from home movies. She tells him how much she’s going to miss him. He just wants to get it over with. He says they made mistakes and they’re paying their debt, and as long as you mind your business and be humble you’ll be fine in jail. He tells Teresa you can either become a criminal or a better person, and he’s opting for the latter. She says she’ll give him rosary beads and suggests he celebrate with the other religions on their holidays. She puts a strawberry in her mouth and passes it to Joe in a kiss. He says they’ll get through this, which seems to be tonight’s running theme.

The paparazzi is everywhere. Joe #1 and Teresa come out, and she hugs him. This is making me sad. The girls are crying and Joe #2 doesn’t know what to say or do. He says it’s like you’re lost. Joe #1 says he’s not scared of too many things, but you can’t predict what’s going to happen, even in the next few minutes. Boy, does he have that one right. He says no one is mentally prepared for this, but it’s really happening. He’s going in

Siggy calls Teresa to let her know she’s there if Teresa needs anything. Teresa says it sucks right now, and probably will until she talks to him, but she’s going to take a nap before the girls get home. She’s emotionally exhausted. She thanks Siggy for reaching out.

Joe #2 is setting up a trampoline. Melissa asks the kids if they had fun riding the bull. She tells them how cute they were giving kisses to Uncle Joe. Melissa says she got a text from Teresa saying “love you,” and Joe asks if she feels better about the relationship. In her interview, Melissa says she couldn’t be happier that she’s the one Teresa is reaching out to. Joe talks about how even though you can fight with family members, you have to be there when they need you.

Dolores and Siggy visit Jacqueline. She’s doing the weirdest thing. She has these baby dolls and she’s smearing their diapers with chocolate. Are these party favors or something to practice with? Dolores asks about Joe #1 and how Jacqueline feels, since she’s been on an emotional roller coaster. Jacqueline says when she saw the pictures of them hugging, she lost it. Siggy says that even though there’s no relationship right now, Teresa and Jacqueline have a long history, and there will always be a bond. Jacqueline says she would be there for Teresa regardless. Siggy says it’s heartbreaking to watch the kids have to go through it a second time. She wonders if Teresa is coming to Dolores’s housewarming party, and Dolores says definitely. I still have no idea what’s up with the diapers.

Teresa talks to Joe #2 and Melissa on the phone. She talks about her father crying and how upsetting it was. Joe asks if she wants to get Chinese food and hang out tomorrow. She says it would be nice and that the girls will be sleeping with her tonight.

Sure enough, they all get in the bed, which is pretty big. Teresa asks if the girls want to say a prayer for daddy. Each of the girls takes a turn except for Gabriela. To be honest, I mix these kids up except for Gia, so I think that’s who opted out. Teresa adds a prayer and Milania tells her not to cry because she’ll cry. Audriana (I think) turns out the lights

Next time, Siggy’s housewarming happens, Melissa has a fashion show, and Dolores tells Jacqueline f-u. Wow.

Oct10

October 9, 2016 – A Wicked Stepmother in Storybrooke Ain’t Got Nuthin’ on Kim D in New Jersey

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Who’d have thought this show was going to be a hit? Certainly not me, especially since I like it. I figured it would last about 5 minutes.

Regina, Snow and David go to the hospital. David asks if Regina is sure. A nurse gives her something on a tray. It’s a lasagna. They enter a room that’s more like a cell. Hyde is there having just polished off a feast. Regina asks what the Evil Queen wanted and he says the same thing she does – information. Since he’s full now, his price has gone up. I guess the lasagna isn’t going to cut it. He tells Regina it’s hard to stay a step ahead of herself.

Henry goes to Granny’s and meets Emma and Hook. He’s had the Untold Story people write down who they were traveling with to help figure out their stories. Ashley wants to see Henry’s list to find out who has children and might need her day care services. Hook amuses Ashley’s daughter while she goes through the names. Emma watches him from across the restaurant. Ashley asks Hook if there’s a chance of a fairy tale ending and he says not yet. She says if she can get a happy ending, anyone can.

Back in the day, Ashley/Ella is sweeping a walkway. Her wicked stepmother complains about her father not having left enough money for good help, only her. The prince’s footman, Jacob, comes with an invitation to the royal ball. It’s obvious the stepmother and her daughters are snobs, as they make fun of Jacob being lower class.

Ella asks if she might go to the ball. The stepsisters wonder what she would wear. Ella says she does have a dress. She opens a trunk and brings out a ballgown of her mother’s. One of the stepsisters promptly throws it into the furnace. Ella pulls it out and the stepsisters talk about Ella wearing cinders and come up with the name Cinderella. Because they’re creative geniuses. The stepmother says they have a ball to attend and they leave. Ella cries.

A tiny mouse in a tiny sweater gives her a key. Ella says she remembers stories about magic keys that – omg, he’s wearing a tiny hat too! – her mother told her could unlock stories. She throws the key in a box and says there’s no such thing as magic.

Dwarf Grumpy wants to form a union. Actually, I’m making that up because there was a distraction, but he’s leaving Archie’s office grumbling about work. Emma comes in next. She says she’s not a jealous person, but seeing Ella all happy with her family makes her think of how her own happiness is going to disappear. She says her magic is failing. Archie asks if that’s a reason to stop striving for what she wants. He could get hit by a bus, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t walk out the door. She tells him that Hook wants to move in together and she’s on the fence. They’ve fought for everyone else’s happy endings and she won’t have hers. Archie says maybe it’s not about the ending, but how you live.

Ella’s husband tells Emma his rifle is missing. He thinks Ella is going to kill her wicked stepsister. Emma says they’ll have to find her the same way she’s been found before, and conjures up a Keds.

Jekyll tries to recreate the syrum that split Regina and the Evil Queen. He’s got a makeshift lab going on near the crash in the forest. Snow suggests Regina try thinking like her sister. Regina says when you want to tear families apart you look for the cracks that are already there. She needs to talk to Zelena.

Snow tells David she’d like to be normal some day. She asks why a princess can’t be a teacher and says she’d like to go back to teaching like she did as Mary Margaret. David thinks that’s noble and kisses her. She looks at Jekyll’s equipment and comes up with an idea.

Henry and Hook are sword fighting with sticks. Emma comes by with the shoe and says it will take them to Ella.

Ella tells her mouse turned escort that whatever Rumpelstiltskin wanted, it’s worth it. She enters the ball in a beautiful gown, saying she owes everything to him. She tells the footman to have fun and then literally runs into Snow White. Ella apologizes profusely, and Snow tells her she’s not an ordinary princess, so don’t worry about it. She doesn’t think Ella is an ordinary princess either, and Ella says she’s just a girl playing dress-up for a night. Snow points out that a prince is checking her out. Ella wonders if he’s charming, but Snow says that name’s taken.

Ella approaches the prince and they dance. He asks her name, but she wants to remain a mystery. He calls her the girl with the glass slippers. Because he’s also a creative genius. He tells her that she’s not from this world. He has something to attend to, but tells her don’t go anywhere. Very pretty scene with the dancing and the gowns.

Ella sees the prince give her stepsister, Clorinda, a rose. Ella’s stepmother suddenly appears behind her and says they’re laughing at her. Ella says the prince danced with her, but her stepmother says he made her into a joke and everyone knew it except her. Ella runs out leaving a you-know-what.

David walks into Gold’s shop and asks him where he got the coin. He wants to know if his father’s death was an accident, and he wants to cut right to a deal. Gold says he likes candor almost as much as a deal. He looks up the coin’s records and says the more desperate the man, the higher the price. He asks how badly David wants to deal.

The mouse bugs Ella, poking at the box where the key is. Ella opens a door with the key and magic stuff is happening on the other side of it. She’s about to go through, and Clorinda runs in and stops her. She tells Ella that the prince loves her and he’s looking for her. Ella thinks Clorinda is making fun of her because she saw the prince give Clorinda a rose. Clorinda says she’s getting married, but not to the prince, to his footman Jacob – the prince had been giving her a message. Ella points out that Clorinda was mean to Jacob, but she says she was putting on an act like she’s done most of her life. She apologizes for everything and says they’ve both been prisoners, but tonight, she’s out of there. She’s meeting Jacob, they’re headed to a little farm, and she’s never coming back. Ella says her mother will hunt her down, but she has an idea. She takes the key.

In Storybrooke, Emma, Hook and Henry find Ella. Ella says she has to find her stepsister. She says doesn’t want to kill her. She says Corinda wasn’t the wicked one, she was. She tells Emma she can’t do it for her this time and that her happiness was a lie. Emma says she understands and her hand shakes. Ella runs. Hook tells Emma to use magic, but she can’t.

Regina goes to Zelena and asks if the Evil Queen was there. She sees the rattle and has her answer. Regina says Zelena should give it. Zelena says it’s a family heirloom, but Regina says there are strings attached. She tells Zelena that she just wants to help, but Zelena says she’s the one who ripped herself in half and she’s the one who needs help.

The Evil Queen approaches Emma’s group. She tells Henry that she’s as much his mother as Regina is. Emma tells him not to listen, and that the Evil Queen is the worst part of Regina. The Evil Queen suggests it might be the most honest. She says Regina never got her happy ending because she won’t let her story play out. Emma says if the Evil Queen goes after Ashley, she’ll save her again. The Evil Queen says all of the happy endings are going to turn to dust and uses a lot of words to say that Emma is a big loser in the end. She says everything is going to fall apart, and the three of them disappear, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Henry, Hook and Emma are on a dirt road. Emma says the Evil Queen took them off the chessboard.

David visits Belle. He has something for her from her husband. He gives her a cassette tape. Belle asks what David needed from him. David says Rumpel has information about his father and Belle says he can tell Rumpel he’s held up his end of the bargain. They talk about David’s father. She says it’s hard for fathers and sons. No matter what the damage, they still need each other.

Emma makes a mini speech about Ashley being her first save and says they have to find her. Hook suggests she go back to her education as a bail bondsperson. Henry says they should check the book. Checking the ending is all they need.

The stepmother tells Ella that Clorinda ran off with the footman. Ella says the prince is looking for her, and if she marries him, Clorinda can do what she wants. The stepmother says Ella looks like garbage and has the education of her cat. She says maybe if Ella had proof, and looks in the trashcan, finding the shoe. She lifts it out of the can. Ella says it’s nothing. The stepmother asks where Clorinda is, and Ella spills the beans (not to be confused with the Jack and the Beanstalk beans), I guess in the hope that her shoe will be spared. The stepmother “drops” the shoe, and it smashes to smithereens.

Storybrooke Ella finds Clorinda in the barn. She sees Clorinda has been hurt and runs to her. Ella says it’s all her fault, but if she fixes their story, maybe Clorinda can forgive her. She realizes that Clorinda isn’t hurt at all, and Clorinda says it’s too late. She can’t forgive Ella and neither can her mother. The stepmother reveals herself. She has a rifle and cocks it.

In the old days, Snow takes the prince to where Ella is. Ella is locked in and they can’t hear her calling. The tiny mouse gets Snow’s attention and gives her the key. They enter the house. The prince asks Ella why she ran away. She says the shoe is broken and there’s no proof now, and if he wants someone else, she understands. He says why would he want to do that and asks her name. When she says Ella, he says he’d like to change that to Princess Ella. They kiss and she thanks Snow. The prince says he’ll get the royal glass blower to make her new shoes.

She says there’s something she has to do first.

Clorinda is about to take Jacob to the Land of Untold Stories through the magic door, when the stepmother kills him. Ella runs to them, announcing her engagement and showing off her ring. Clorinda can’t believe Ella is so ignorant, and the stepmother makes it all about her, saying that when it’s finally her turn to catch a break, Ella gets everything and she gets nothing. She says that’s not going to happen. She’s going to pause her life and maybe she’ll come back when people are more appreciative of her. She jumps through the magic door.

Ella tells Clorinda that Jacob is in Storybrooke. On the other side, the stepmother drags Jacob into the barn. She wants to shoot Jacob. Ella says she knows her stepmother is in pain, but she doesn’t get to take it out on Jacob. She stands between them. The stepmother says it’s a coward’s weapon anyway, and not personal enough. She produces a knife and stabs Ella.

Emma arrives. She goes to Ella, but her hand starts to shake. Henry tells her she can do it. She concentrates and zaps Ella, whose wound magically disappears. Ella apologizes to Clorinda, Hook and Emma embrace, everyone is happy, probably not for long.

Regina and Snow take Jekyll to a garage with a lab in it. A guy who looks like Sting tells them ti’s his. They can use it, but don’t touch anything in the fridge – it’s not food. He introduces himself as Dr. Frankenstein. Snow is hoping to get the town back to normal. I’m not quite sure what she means by that.

Everyone else gathers at a picnic area where Grumpy is giving the stepmother golf lessons. Emma asks Hook to move in with her. She says live is uncertain, but she could make space in her closet for some black leather. They kiss.

David ponders a piece of paper. He tells Snow that Gold gave it to him. It’s an article about a shepherd found in the wreckage of a cart. He’d been stabbed. David says it’s his father, and this means he wasn’t drunk and killed in an accident. Snow says his father kept his word, but David says the killer is still out there. Snow tells him that what he’s contemplating is vengeance, not justice, and to leave it along. She says raising a family is the most important thing they’ll ever do, and if he’s off on some crusade, they can’t do it. David says bring Neil up is epic enough for him. He tells her to go to bed and that he’s burning the paper.

She leaves and he hesitates. He blows out the candle instead.

Belle plays the tape. We hear Rumpel reading poetry. We see him walking along the dock.

The Evil Queen says it’s not fair; the Savior wins. Hyde says but for how long? She says his pathetic other half is working on something to destroy her. Hyde tells her that if she wants his help, it’s a tall order to fill from inside a cell. The Evil Queen frees him and says let’s take a walk. They leave arm in arm.

Next time, Hyde is free to wreak havoc, Jekyll and Hyde come together, and Aladdin takes the stage in two weeks.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Siggy comes to see Dolores’s kitchen. They talk about Vermont. Siggy says she saw a side of Jacqueline she never did before, but Dolores says she just thought, here we go again. Siggy says she thinks Jacqueline believes they didn’t have her back because she’s getting the silent treatment. We flash back to how Siggy stood up for her at the dinner. Siggy says she didn’t leave her family and kids to go to a sh*tshow, and then have one of her best friends get mad at her when she didn’t do anything wrong. She wants to confront Jacqueline. In her interview, Dolores says Siggy wasn’t trained for this and wandered into the “do not feed” part of the zoo. Dolores says somebody has to admit they’re wrong and it ain’t gonna happen. She wonders what’s going on between Melissa and Jacqueline, but wants to keep her distance.

Melissa is at the boutique with Jackie and Derek, dressing the mannequins. Jackie feels that sales are dragging. Melissa thought they were doing well, but Jackie says the internet sales have been disappointing. Melissa thinks they have to move forward on social media. She’s having a fashion show, but Jackie is going to be in the Bahamas. We see where Jackie’s priorities are.

Melissa asks Derek what Kim D has against him. He seems taken aback, and she says Jacqueline was down her throat about him spreading stories. She says she went back and found some of his old videos and if he’s been talking trash about Teresa, they’ll have a problem. She talks about Kim D being a sh*t stirrer. No argument from me there.

Jacqueline tells Chris she’s disappointed in the girls. Siggy and Dolores come by. They do squats on the porch before ringing the bell. Jacqueline does have a super cute dog. I think it’s a Cocker Spaniel. Right away, Siggy wants clarity. She wants to know why Jacqueline is mad at her and points out that she’d backed her up in Vermont. Dolores says Siggy wants to know if her loyalty is being questioned. Sometimes I laugh as I type this stuff; it’s so stupid sounding.

Jacqueline pretends like she didn’t even know what was going on around her. She needed to go into her “cocoon.” Siggy says she was angry and hurt, and Dolores interjects that Jacqueline talks about how hurt she was. Chris compares Jacqueline to an abused dog and I go, come on now. Isn’t this the woman with the semi-violent tagline? Jacqueline says Melissa tried to rewrite history and she was disappointed. Dolores asks if she’s done with the friendships and Jacqueline says yes, both Teresa an Melissa. Siggy doesn’t want to go to Melissa’s fashion show now. Because we’re seven years old. Chris – why is he here? – says they’re both amazing people and talks about seeing inside their souls, making me uncomfortable. Siggy just does not want to accept all of this. She cries and hugs Jacqueline.

Is it me, or is Siggy way over-involved emotionally with other people’s problems?

Joe #2 visits Teresa. The kids are in school and Joe #1 is off somewhere. They talk about him taking his turn in prison. Joe #2 asks if Teresa was bitter at Joe #1 when she first went to prison. She says at first she was mad at him for getting her involved and was mad at herself for not reading everything, but knew that nothing was intentional. We see a home movie of her and brother Joe as teenagers. She says it was easy for them to mesh back together. Joe #2 tells her if she needs anything while her husband is away, just ask. Her main concern is the garbage, which I find funny, since it’s the one thing I don’t like to do when my husband is away.

Siggy meets Melissa for coffee. She’s thankful that Vermont is over. She says she hates the rift. Melissa says it got ugly. They talk about Jacqueline saying everyone thought of Melissa as a stuck-up bitch. Siggy says maybe her first impressions of Melissa were phony and self-absorbed. She thought Melissa wasn’t very invested in relationships and wondered why she held back. Melissa says she didn’t know Siggy and Siggy says she gets that now. Yes, Siggy, that’s how normal people are. Melissa says they all got thrown under the bus in Vermont. I think we might be able to get the lyrics of a country song out of this.

Siggy tells Melissa she can’t go to Melissa’s fashion show, or Kim D’s, because she wants to stay home with her blankie doesn’t want to be in the middle of this. She feels that if she goes, it will hurt Jacqueline. Melissa says if she’s going to Jacqueline’s events, she is picking sides. In her interview, Melissa wonders if Siggy is being persuaded or she just thinks Melissa is wrong. nose job Siggy says Jacqueline felt that Melissa didn’t have her back. Melissa says obviously Jacqueline isn’t okay with the good place she and Teresa are in and wanted to cause trouble. Siggy says Jacqueline was hurt that Melissa didn’t answer her question and Melissa doesn’t know how she was supposed to. She says Jacqueline was in her face like a Screaming Mimi, all over the place, yelling about everything from Melissa’s nose job (her “worst kept secret”) to Strippergate. Melissa says it’s fine if Jacqueline doesn’t want to be friends, but her approach was all wrong. She explains Strippergate to Siggy and tells her it wasn’t like Jacqueline had warned her specifically. She’d said that something was going to come out about someone. Yep. That narrows it down. Siggy asks if Melissa thinks Jacqueline had anything to do with it and Melissa says she doesn’t care. Melissa says the news is so old, it might be true, and calls out for a dollar. In her interview, Siggy says Melissa makes some valid points. What is wrong with this woman that she can’t see that Jacqueline is basically pissed because Teresa and her sister-in-law aren’t giving her enough attention? Siggy thanks Melissa for being level-headed and classy.

Dolores is out shopping with her mother, looking for Easter stuff. She talks about how she had to forget about the Italian/American dream, and how men looked down on her because she didn’t have an education. Her mother says it took her fifty years to stand up for herself, It was always about Siggy’s father. Her mother didn’t even have a clue about their finances. She says he was reluctant to show her, but he showed her anyway. (Seriously, whoever you are with, you should both have knowledge of things like that. I have a friend whose father’s death left a real mess because nobody knew anything except him.) Dolores says its in the DNA, and her mom was so dependent, it mentally and physically crippled her. Her mom says that’s the way her mom was too. Dolores says they grew up at the same time.

Ewww! It’s Kim D. Dolores and Jacqueline arrive for dinner before the fashion show. They talk about cleavage, but Jacqueline wastes no time in telling Kim D that Melissa thought that Jacqueline was behind Strippergate. She did not! Dolores tells them about Siggy not going to Kim or Melissa’s fashion show. Kim’s eager facial expression for any and all dirt is disgusting.

Kim D talks about how Teresa should get a move on a divorce, since Joe #1 can get 50% of what she’s worth. Dolores says that isn’t going to happen, and Kim D asks if Teresa is delusional or doesn’t know. She alludes that Joe #1 was cheating on Teresa while she was in jail and we see some tabloid headlines. She thinks Teresa should dump him. Both Jacqueline and Dolores aren’t taking the bait with this one and do not want to discuss Teresa’s marital business. In her interview, Dolores says Kim D can’t help who she is and can’t fight the DNA. Again with the DNA.

Siggy, Dolores, Teresa and Melissa meet for lunch. Teresa orders everything on the menu and Melissa says when they go out, Teresa and Joe #2 order fifteen appetizers each. Siggy says although she believes Jacqueline is coming from a good place, her talk with Melissa has changed her mind about going to Melissa’s fashion show. Teresa asks about Kim D’s show and if there was any drama. We flash back to all the previous Kim D events where there was much hair pulling and loud cursing.

Teresa says they need to look at the big picture – Jacqueline is the one who brought Kim D in. Teresa makes the proclamation that Jacqueline is crazy and Dolores says no more taling about anyone anymore. Siggy talks about Joe #1 going away and they all agree that it will be positive for him in several ways. Like laying off the sauce.

It’s time for Jacqueline’s Little Kernal popcorn event. Siggy tells Jacqueline about the lunch. She acts like she’d beat the pants off of anyone who talks about Jacqueline, but fails to mention that she’s going to Melissa’s show. Dolores announces that she’s having a future ladies night. Jacqueline says that Joe is having a going away party. While the entire family was invited, Chris is going, but she isn’t.

Chris makes a speech. They give a portion of their profits to an organization that helped them with Nicholas after he was diagnosed with autism. Chris also announces Ashlee’s pregnancy. Lots of smiles and congrats. Dolores tells Chris that if Jacqueline doesn’t go to Joe’s party, he shouldn’t. Chris says he was going to make an early entrance and exit, but Dolores discourages him. She thinks he should make a statement in standing by his wife, since these are people she just had an argument with. Oh brother. Not only do I think she’s sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, I think she’s wrong. Jacqueline’s fight isn’t with Joe, nor is her frenemy-ship. On top of it, this isn’t a normal party on a Saturday night. Joe is going to be gone for quite a while. To deny his friend to be at his going away party is kind of cruel. And Chris has it right to make it early and brief. He’s saying good-by to his friend, but not dancing the night away with the friends of her enemy friend enemy.

Teresa and Dolores meet at church. It’s done up for Easter and absolutely beautiful. Teresa says she thought she had the perfect life. Dolores talks about how they thought it would be, the white picket fence deal, and how it’s never really like that. Teresa says this generation would have said good-by at the first sign of trouble,.but she’s old school. Dolores says yeah, kids today don’t take that sh*t, then realizes where she is and says, sorry, Jesus, which is pretty funny. Teresa say she would never stand for infidelity and Dolores makes a half soap opera face. The two women say a prayer.

Next time, Siggy admits to plastic surgery – a lot of plastic surgery, Joe #1 tells Gia to never date, Teresa isn’t ready for Joe to leave, and Jacqueline gets emo again.