What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

WSB Facility, Geneva, Switzerland. Dr. Kirk asks if Dante read the brief for his assignment. Dante asks if it’s a joke, or if it’s another test. This can’t be true. The doctor says, the Bureau doesn’t know. It’s Dante’s mission to find out.

At the MetroCourt, Olivia asks how Robert would feel about a suite with a view of the harbor. Robert says, it’s not necessary, but she says, it’s her screw-up, her hotel, and her responsibility. She’s throwing in a hot stone massage for good measure. He says she needs to go home and be with her hubby, and she says she will. As soon as Robert is settled. She’s waited this long to talk to Ned. She can wait a few more minutes.

Outside The Floating Rib, Valentin tells Ned that he’s drunk. He starts to walk away, but Ned grabs his arm and punches him. Chase intervenes, and Ned says he’s just trying to protect Alexis from this viper. Valentin says, Alexis doesn’t need protecting. She can handle herself.  

Inside, at the bar, the bartender asks Alexis if it helped. She says, it will, and suggests he speed it along. He pours quite a bit of vodka into a tumbler that has some ice in it. Where is this bar where they’re so heavy-handed?

Portia says Jordan told Curtis, didn’t she? He doesn’t know what she’s talking about, and she says she ran into Jordan outside of Charlie’s, and they had a conversation. He says, about his integrity, and she says, for the record, she meant every word. He and Jordan are lucky to have found each other. He says he appreciates that, but he wanted to talk to her for a different reason. He wants her to tell him about Cyrus’s Chief of Staff, Britt Westbourne. Martin comes in, bleeding and clutching his head, saying he needs a doctor. Please help. He’s just been mugged. Portia says he’ll be all right.

Julian dumps Martin’s briefcase, along with some garbage in the alley trashcan – which is a brilliant move – and takes out Nelle’s letter. Cyrus says, just the man he’s looking for. Julian has something he wants.

Nina tells Jax that he just missed Josslyn. She’s upstairs, getting dressed for homecoming. Nina says she’s so excited to be part of it. Josslyn comes down in her robe, saying, it’s a complete disaster. She can’t find her makeup kit. Jax points to a case on the table, and asks if that’s it. Josslyn says it is, and Nina says she knows tonight is a special night, but Josslyn seems off. Is she feeling okay? Josslyn says she thinks about Mike, and she’s sad. Then she thinks about Nelle, and she’s relieved. Weird things are running through her head when she should be doing her hair and makeup. Nina asks if there’s been news about Nelle. Did the police find her? Josslyn says, oh my God. Nina hasn’t heard? The doorbell rings, and Nina tells her, hold that thought. It’s probably Trina arriving to get dressed. She gives Josslyn a warning that she’s probably going to take a hundred pictures. She opens the door, and Sonny and Carly are there.

Dr. Kirk asks if something in the file concerns Dante, and Dante says, all of it. What the hell is going on in Port Charles? The doctor says, there have been a great many changes since Dante gave himself over to the WSB’s custody. If he takes the mission, he’ll have to make adjustments, and face the people he left. Dante says, Mike died, and Dr. Kirk says, the rest of Dante’s family lives on. His father, his mother, and his son. Dante says, and his wife.

At the MetroCourt, Lulu runs into Peter. She says she doesn’t know if she told him, but Dustin is staying with her while he’s looking for a new place. He just put up a tire swing in the backyard. Peter says, that’s thoughtful, and she apologizes, saying she didn’t need to update him on her domestic arrangement. He must want to know if she got an A-list reporter to go after Cyrus. No such luck, but she’s still going down her list of names. He says his concern is more immediate. Her ex mother-in-law is there with her special friend. She sees Olivia with Robert.

Chase says he’s doing Ned a favor. Don’t let him have to write Ned up over this. He’s had a few too many, and Chase will call him a car. Ned says, no way is he leaving Alexis alone with Valentin.

In the examining room, Portia tells Martin, he has a bump on the head. He says, that’s where he was hit, and Curtis asks if he had any sense of the weight or height of the person. Martin says they were behind him. Portia says he has bruises, but he thinks he got them when he fell. Curtis asks if he saw shoes or anything else, but Martin says he told Curtis, he was hit from behind. Portia says she knows Curtis is trying to be helpful, but asks him to wait outside.

Chase says, Ned just punched Valentin in the face, unprovoked, in front of a police witness. If Ned lets it go now, it’s over. If he continues, it could escalate to a criminal charge, and he doesn’t think anyone wants that for Ned. Curtis calls Chase, who says it’s not a good time, but Curtis says Chase might want to get over to GH as soon as possible. Martin was robbed and mugged. Chase says, Nelle’s lawyer? and Curtis says, that’s him. Chase says he’s on his way. He tells Ned and Valentin, he has to go. He expects them to both go to their separate corners. If another fight happens, and someone calls the cops, they’ll send a regular squad car who is more like to send them to lock-up. Valentin says Martin is his attorney too; what happened? Chase says Martin got jumped, and he’s getting more details at the hospital. Valentin says he’ll come with Chase, and Chase asks if he has any idea why someone would be out for Martin. Valentin says, he’s a lawyer, isn’t he? and they leave.

Julian asks Cyrus if there’s something he wanted. Cyrus asks if Julian remembers the last time he dropped in. He suggested a collaboration of mutual interest. Julian says he’d think a guy like Cyrus would be too busy for another venture, but Cyrus says he prides himself in time management and diversifying his interests. Julian says he’s not following. Why is Cyrus talking to him? Cyrus says, Julian owns this charming pub and he wants to buy it.

Carly thanks Nina for hosting the pre-homecoming gathering, but Nina says, she’s the co-host; it was all Jax’s idea. Carly suggests they get Josslyn upstairs and get her gorgeous. Jax says, more gorgeous, but Josslyn says, first Carly should tell them about Nelle. Jax says, what about Nelle? and Carly says she called Josslyn earlier to break the news; Nelle is dead.

Robert says, when they were in the air, all Olivia could do was talk about calling Ned. Since they’ve been back, she’s focused on his accommodation. She’s not doing her marriage any favors having out with the likes of him. Olivia sits down, and says it’s just that things were so tense when she left, she’s afraid there’s not much of a marriage to go home to.

At the bar, Ned tells Alexis, smacking Valentin’s smug face felt so damn good. She asks what he became a Neanderthal, and he says, sorry. He sounds obnoxious, and he wouldn’t blame her if she headed home. She asks, what about him? and he says, home is kind of empty these days. What the hell was she doing sitting there with Valentin anyway? She says, earlier this year, she ran into Valentin when he’d hit rock bottom, and decided to be nice to him. Now she’s at rock bottom, and Valentin has decided to be nice to her. Ned says, believe him, if Valentin decided to do a good deed, there had to be something in it for him.

Chase gets to the hospital, and asks Curtis where Martin is. Curtis says, he’s in the examining room, and Portia comes out. Chase asks about the prognosis, and she says, fortunately, it’s just a slight concussion. Martin is going to have a bad headache; he has a lump the size of a golf ball on the back of his head. Chase wonders if he can ask some questions, and she tells him, keep it brief. Chase and Valentin go into the room, and Martin says, finally, a friendly face, even if it does belong to a client. Valentin asks how he’s doing, and Martin says he’s had better days. Chase asks Martin to walk him through it, and Martin says, there’s not much to it. He met with a potential client at the MetroCourt, and when they’d finished up, he headed for his car in the parking garage. The next thing he knew, he was flat on the floor. Chase asks if they took anything, and Martin says, his briefcase. Chase asks if there was anything of value, and Martin says, contracts, a legal brief, and an envelope from Nelle. Chase asks what that was about, and Martin says Nelle gave it to him for safekeeping before she fired him. Her intent was clear that it not be opened unless she had an untimely demise, which she has.

Julian says he appreciates Cyrus’s interest; Charlie’s isn’t for sale. Cyrus says he hasn’t heard the offer, but Julian says he doesn’t want a partner or any strings attached. He doesn’t want his past dragging him down. Cyrus says, escaping the past is never easy, especially in a city like Port Charles.

Nina asks how Carly found out, and Sonny says, Chase came by. Nelle’s body was found on the Pennsylvania side of the river (🍷). Jax asks how Josslyn feels about it, and she says she’s not sure. She wanted Nelle to pay for the pain she caused, especially to her mom and Michael, but she didn’t want Nelle dead. Nina says, there was something so damaged in Nelle, nothing could fill the void, not even an innocent child. Carly says, it’s sad, but she doesn’t want to dwell on it. It’s Josslyn’s night, and she wants Josslyn to have fun with her friends. Nothing is going to stop that. She, Josslyn, and Nina go upstairs, and Jax smiles at Sonny.

Chase asks how Julian reacted to his wife’s death, and Martin says, he shed no tears. He was more interested in Nelle’s legal estate documents. Chase says that’s enough for tonight, but he’ll circle back. Valentin says Martin isn’t just his attorney, but a friend. He’ll let Chase know if anything jogs Martin’s memory. Chase leaves, and Valentin says, the detective is gone. Does Martin want to tell him what was inside the envelope?

Chase tells Portia that Martin answered his questions for now, but he’ll be back. When he’s gone, Curtis asks Portia to tell him what she knows about Britt. She says, there’s nothing to tell, and most important, he should stop asking questions.

Jax says he heard about Sonny’s dad, and offers his condolences. Nina offers hers as well, and says she heard great things about Mike from Carly and Josslyn; she’s so very, very sorry for his loss. Sonny says he and his dad had a complicated relationship. He’s glad they spent the last few years together. The last year was a roller coaster. Losing his dad, finding out about Nelle, and the circumstances surrounding her death, but like Carly said they have to make it a special night for Josslyn and the kids; memories they’ll never forget. Nina says there are some high school memories that she prefers to forget, and Jax says, her? She says, in his world, no one ever does anything they regret. He says, maybe one or two things.

Cyrus says a man can remake himself over and over, but what does it matter if some people will only remember him as he was? he’s heard stories of Julian holding a knife to his wife’s throat, Duke’s murder, and the bombing that killed Sonny’s kid. Julian says he had nothing to do with that; he was the intended target. Cyrus says, it’s unfair to treat a changed man as though he’s culpable, still capable of savagery and murder… unless he is. Chase comes in, and says he’s there on official business. Cyrus says he’s sick and tired of the police harassment. Chase will be hearing from his lawyer. Chase says, not everything is about him. He has a question for Julian. Julian wonders what he did now, and Chase says Martin was robbed and mugged after Julian asks him about an annulment from his wife. Or should he say, late wife?

Ned tells Alexis, he got a call and learned to his astonishment that his wife was in a honeymoon suite in Monte Carlo with another man. Alexis is sure there’s an explanation, and he says he’s sure he’ll hear it eventually. In the meantime, what about her rock bottom led her to lean on Valentin? She says let her know if he’s heard this story. She went to bed with Mr. Right, and woke up with Mr. Dead. She’d just gotten back from Neil’s memorial. It was a huge mistake to go. He says, according to who? and she says, according to Neil’s brother. She destroyed Neil’s life and drove him to OD. Maybe that’s true. Ned says, it’s not. He doesn’t know Neil’s brother, but he knows her. She didn’t destroy Neil’s life. If Neil had demons she didn’t know about, that’s on him. She wonders what happened to her and Ned. They had so many possibilities. They weren’t smoldering together or a fabulous couple, but they were smart and witty, and people liked them. Ned says they were the family gatekeepers; the power couple to be reckoned with. She asks how long it took him to forget her after she dumped him, and he tells her, who said he ever did? She leans her head on his shoulder.

Robert says Olivia and Ned will throw themselves into each other’s arms, and Ned will throw himself at her feet. He’s such a damn fool. Lulu approaches, and says she’s sorry to interrupt, but did Olivia get her message? Olivia says she had a minor phone catastrophe. Robert excuses himself, and Lulu says she and Dustin wanted to set up a dinner date with Olivia and Ned. She was hoping soon. Olivia says she has to replace her phone, and Lulu asks if it crashed. Olivia says it was lost or when she was on a trip. Lulu asks where she went, and Olivia says she went to Geneva to see Dante.

Dr. Kirk tells Dante, the people he was close to have experienced years without him. He can’t expect to pick up where he left off. Dante says he doesn’t, and flashes back to Lulu saying she wasn’t going to give up on him, and would wait forever if she had to. Dante says he has no illusions, and no right to ask anything of anyone he’s left behind. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Dr. Kirk says good, and Dante says he’s ready to complete the mission. He sits, and says, the questions is, what kind of trap is going to catch the target? He looks at a picture of Peter.

Ned says, cheers, to good times past, and he and Alexis clink glasses. She says they had some good times, but her bolting did him a favor. What they had was never true love; he must know that. He says he doesn’t rate past loves, but he’s glad for the time they had together. She says, her too, but if she hadn’t dumped him, he’d never have found Olivia. He says he found her, lost her, lost ELQ, and lost his daughter. She says he didn’t lose them permanently. If he did, shame on Brook and Olivia, and shame on the . He’s a Quartermaine; the last of the princes. She thanks him, and says she did kiss a lot of frogs. He says he thought Neil was a good man, and she says she thought he was, but sometimes you think you know someone, and you don’t. He says, it turns out sometimes you have to lose everything in order to realize what was there in front of you.

Lulu asks how it went, but Olivia says she didn’t see Dante. She got outside his room, but he wouldn’t open the door. She pounded on it, and pleaded. She begged, and told him how much she loved him. She knows her son, and he’s afraid he’s still a danger to his family, so he wouldn’t let her in. She starts to cry, and says she hates the people who took her son away from his family; away from himself.

Dr. Kirk says he understands Dante knows Peter. Dante says, a little bit. Peter was around when Peter’s father, Faison, killed Dante’s partner Nathan. He guesses Peter is hanging out with Lulu’s best friend Maxie. The doctor asks if Peter was implicated in Faison’s crimes, and Dante says, Peter denounced Faison. He was cleared, more or less. Dr. Kirk says, some in the Bureau believe Peter was involved in illegal acts after Faison’s death. Dante says, some, and the doctor says, that’s why the mission is off the books. The case was closed and they moved on. They wonder if Peter is faking his reform. If anyone can help, it’s Dante. Dante looks through the folder, and sees Anna’s picture.

Lulu tells Olivia that she’s so sorry. Peter runs into Robert. Robert asks if Peter missed him.

Curtis wonders why Portia is running interference for Britt, but she says she’s looking out for him. He said himself that Cyrus appointed Britt, and she doesn’t want him anywhere near Cyrus. Curtis appreciates it, but says he can take care of himself. She tells him, that’s exactly what Taggert said, and all it did was get him killed. He says he’ll be okay, but she says she doesn’t want the same thing to happen to him that happened to Taggert. Whatever they had ended a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean she stopped caring.

Martin wonders why Valentin cares about Nelle’s will. Valentin says he doesn’t. He wants to know if the envelope contains something about him.

Julian asks if Chase is accusing him of committing assault, and Chase says he’s curious about Julian’s relationship to the victim. Cyrus says Julian doesn’t have to answer that without a lawyer. Julian says he doesn’t need one. He has no relationship with Martin. Nelle fired Martin before the custody decision was made. He asked Martin about possibly ending his marriage, and that’s when Martin told him the news that Nelle was found dead. Chase says he sees Julian is really emotional about his wife’s passing, and Cyrus says, about that lawyer… Chase says Martin left the MetroCourt and took the elevator to the parking garage. He was heading to his car when someone struck him, and stole his briefcase containing sensitive legal documents. He asks where Julian was at 5 pm, and Cyrus says, no way was Julian in the parking garage. He was at Charlie’s taking care of him.

Sonny asks what it is Jax regrets, and Jax says, not what he did, but what he didn’t do. Nina says, that’s the white knight talking. She’s sure he had good intentions. He says, some people might not agree, and Carly comes downstairs with Josslyn. She says they need a second opinion. Hair up or down? Josslyn says, and is her eyeshadow too much or not enough? Jax says, this isn’t his area of expertise, and Carly says that’s why she’s glad they have a fashion editor sitting in his living room. Nina says she’d love to help, and takes Josslyn back upstairs. Sonny says, nice move, getting Nina out of the room so he can talk to Jax. Jax says, he knows what Sonny is going to say, but Sonny says he doesn’t think so, and thanks him.

Peter says he didn’t know Robert was back. He’d stopped looking over his shoulder. Robert says, don’t worry. He calls Peter Henrik, and says when he comes for him, he’ll be direct.

Ned tells Alexis that a car is on its way. They can drop her off first, and then he’ll head back to his house, which is full of Quartermaines, but the wing he shares with his wife has been pretty empty lately. Alexis says her house is empty too; and creepy, but she deserves it. He says she doesn’t deserve it. It’s not even dark. They could go somewhere else. She says, like where? and he suggests listening to live music. The night is still young. She says, they’re not, and he tells her, says who? He leans toward her, but she pulls back.

Valentin asks if Martin has any idea what was in the envelope, but Martin says, even if he did, Valentin doesn’t pay him enough to reveal it. Valentin says it’s not about him. Nelle made other people’s business her business, people he cares about. People he’s sworn to protect, and nobody is going to get in the way.

Curtis tells Portia, he can’t back off. Cyrus has bigger plans than just the hospital. She says, let the police handle it. It’s their job. He says his wife is the Police Commissioner; that makes him family. She tells him, what about her family. He said he’d do right by Trina. How is he going to do that if he’s not around?

Chase asks if Cyrus is ready to sign a statement that Julian was with him. Cyrus says, ready when Chase is, and Chase says Julian might want to get that lawyer. He still has questions, and Cyrus won’t be there to run interference. He slams out, and Julian thanks Cyrus for the alibi. He didn’t do anything wrong. Cyrus says, of course (🍷) not.

Jax says Sonny doesn’t often express gratitude toward him. Sonny says he’s grateful Jax didn’t run to the cops. Jax says, full disclosure, he didn’t want Carly to tell him. Sonny says, that was a mistake. He’s been handling situations like this for years. From now on, they’ll do it his way. Jax says he’s not having this conversation there, where they can be overheard. There’s no way he’s making Nina an accessory. Nina appears at the bottom of the stairs.

Julian says he’ll buy Cyrus a drink, and some house nachos. Cyrus tells Julian that he’ll say yes to both, but on one condition. At least agree to hear his offer.

Olivia says, Lulu can’t imagine how hard it was. Lulu warned her, but she had to know for herself. Now she does, and she’s accepted there’s no getting through to Dante. It will be easier now; from here on out, she won’t hope. That’s what hurts. Clinging to the hope that someday Dante will come home. Lulu says hope makes Olivia who she is. There’s no changing that. Olivia wipes her eyes, and says she’s not doing that here, bawling her eyes out in the middle of the hotel. It’s her refuge. Lulu says Olivia can call her anytime. She asks why Olivia doesn’t find Ned. She’s sure he can’t wait to see her.

Ned looks at his phone, and tells Alexis, the car is there. It’s time to go home. Alexis says, home alone.

Nina says she obviously interrupted, and Jax says Sonny was just telling him more about Nelle’s death. He wanted to spare her the gruesome details. Nina says, it’s still so hard to believe Nelle is actually gone.

Curtis tells Portia, he gets that there’s a risk, but he has a personal stake from keeping Cyrus from sinking his hooks deeper into Port Charles. It’s for Trina’s sake, and the sake of his wife. She says she knows she can’t do anything to stop him, but please be careful.

Martin tells Valentin, it’s never a good idea to threaten your lawyer. Nelle isn’t the first client to share secrets with their lawyer. Or has he forgotten? Valentin says he remembers, but has Martin considered what he pays for attorney/client privilege. Martin’s first loyalty is to him. Martin says, Nelle was a reptile, but she didn’t trust anyone, including him. Whatever secrets she had, went to the grave with her. Valentin asks if Martin is a religious man, and Martin says, Episcopalian, lapsed; why? Valentin thinks it’s time Martin started praying he’s right.

Julian reads the letter. It says, he’s so predictable. She knew he’d find a way to get the letter away from Martin. The real letter still out there. Good hunting. She might be dead, but he’s in hell. His loving wife, Nelle. He says, dammit, Nelle. Who did you give to? Who do you trust?

A guard goes through mail at Pentenville. He picks up a letter addressed to Ryan.

Peter guesses it was too much to ask for Robert to return home from the memorial mellower. Robert says, if it taught him anything, it was that time runs out sooner than you think. The sooner he brings Peter to justice, the sooner he can go about living. Lulu says, whatever threats Robert is making, give it a rest, and he says how a daughter of Luke Spencer can go on defending Peter is a mystery to him. She says she weighed the evidence, and made up her own mind. He says she saw what she wanted. He’s known some good reporters in his time, and she could measure up, but first she has to take the blinders off. Robert walks off, and Peter asks, what happened with Olivia? Lulu says she doesn’t want to go into detail, but it made her even more determined to go after Cyrus. People like him can’t get away with it. If she had a national platform… She says, oh my God. Robert just gave her a great idea to get their Cyrus project off the ground, and it might have the added benefit of getting Robert off his back.

Dante gets ready to leave, while Dr. Kirk’s voiceover says he’s to lose any preconceived notions of who Anna and Peter are. Investigate. Examine the evidence. Dante asks, and if he finds out Peter isn’t as reformed as he claims? The doctor says, find out, and they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it. Dante leaves the facility.

Dr. Kirk goes into an office, and says, it’s done. Dante has undertaken the mission. A voice with a familiar accent says, good. He’ll prove her innocence and Peter’s guilt in one fell swope. Dr. Kirk says, and then? We see Obrecht sitting behind a desk, and she says, and then, Herr doctor, she’ll have her revenge.

Woohoo!

On Friday? Monday? Who knows. Trina tells Cameron that all she needs to feel safe is him, Cyrus wants someone to be part of his team, and Nikolas asks Ava how she can do this.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Is it me, or is this season endless?

When we left, Tom had gone apesh*t about the fish, and Captain Sandy told Malia to stay away from him.

Captain Sandy tells Malia, stay out of the galley, but Malia says Tom needs help. He’s going to walk off. The captain says, if he walks, she’ll handle it. Aesha asks how long until the guests’ arrival? and Bugs thinks it’s at 11. Tom says bleepity-bleep-bleep-bleep, pissing him off. He thought Malia was on his side. She says she is, and he wails that he can’t do it. He burned the croutons and the bread, and has no crew lunch. Even if he gets the sh*t together. nothing will be good, and it’s his effing reputation. She tells him not to let it come between them, and he says, of course not. She says, they have one more charter. He’s been a lifesaver and hasn’t let them down. She seems to have talked him down, and he goes back to the galley. In the captain’s interview, she says if the chef on a super yacht has a problem, they should bring it to the captain. She can’t help unless he communicates, and he’s only doing it through Malia. He has to figure it out. This dude is way too high maintenance for me.

Tom sweats and gripes about the state of the pantry. In his interview, he asks, what’s the point in having a good chef if he can’t get the provisions he’s asked for? If Captain Sandy can’t amend this, he’s going to walk. I guess a fully stocked pantry and refrigerator that most of us would die for isn’t good enough. And isn’t part of being a chef being creative? I honestly can’t imagine Gordon Ramsay acting like this much of a diva. Aesha and Rob fold laundry and trade innuendo laden banter. In Jess’s interview, she says if he was Aesha’s boyfriend, she wouldn’t be having inappropriate conversation. The captain calls a pre-charter meeting, and calls Malia to her office. Bugs says, the atmosphere is weird, and Alex says she’ll handle it. Captain Sandy says Malia is her pride and joy. He’s her boyfriend, so there’s an extra level of caring. If Tom chooses to walk, she hopes Malia will stay. Malia says she doesn’t think he will, but if he does, she has to respect that as his partner in life. The captain doesn’t want Malia to crash and burn. Tom’s problem is with the her, and she needs to be clear, don’t help him. He needs to come to her. She says Malia is doing great; she doesn’t want this to come between them. The provisioner brings more seafood, but everything is frozen except for the oysters. Bugs tells her that if they can get something fresh, they’ll probably send the frozen back, and brings the provisions inside.

Malia tells Tom, she feels like shit that he’s there; it’s her fault. The captain was talking to her about being in the galley. She’s the bosun. and if there’s a problem, she’s going to get involved. Agreed. Unless the captain – i.e. her boss – says otherwise. Tom tells her that he just wants to get it over with; be done with it. Bugs tells Tom about the fish being frozen, and he says, frozen halibut is better than fresh… not really. Ugh. He’s such a douche. Captain Sandy wants to talk to him, and she says she called for fresh fish, and all she needs to know is if the fish is fresh or frozen. He says he doesn’t know – he hasn’t looked at it yet – and tells her to have patience. She says she does. She has no idea what’s going on. He says he just told her – it’s frozen. She says he told her that he didn’t know, and at this point, she’s had enough, and walks away. She says she’s not taking this, and he whimpers that he can’t do it.

It’s 14 minutes before charter, and everyone gathers for the meeting. No surprise, the captain has to radio Malia, Tom, and Bugs. She says she was the wrong person to piss off. If he doesn’t like it, he can leave. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, what makes a good chef is being a perfectionist, but a chef of Tom’s caliber needs to know how to improvise. It’s the last charter. She tells the group, she knows right now Tom is challenged with provisions, but what makes them stand out is working with what they’re given. It’s not going to be perfect, but it’s how you finesse it. She wants all of them to feel supported. It’s not like she’s trying take them down, because she’s not, but she won’t be spoken to like that again. Everyone is emotional, and it’s a lot. It’s challenging them. She feels like the emotions are tiring them out, and they’re getting mad. She tears up, saying, she wants them to do their best. Sometimes it’s not going to be that. Since day one she’s said she doesn’t care what the client says, she cares what she thinks. She sees them every day, and they work hard. They need to look at what’s important; it’s about being a team, and she wants to see champions, not them at each other’s throats. She knows if they give it all they have, they’ll have a great charter. Now go to the dock and make it happen. In the galley, Tom is mystified. He asks Bugs if he was speaking out of order. She says she doesn’t know because she’s afraid he’ll have another tantrum, and he says he doesn’t know because he’s an a-hole. In Tom’s interview, he says Captain Sandy didn’t like how he was talking to her. He understands and got the gist of it, but it’s not relevant. His years in Gordon Ramsay’s and Gary Rhodes’s restaurants is where it comes from. Really? I don’t know Gary, but I don’t think Gordon would condone this behavior. He says he knows they’re first world problems, but they’re on a bloody yacht, so it’s a first world problem

Bugs pours champagne. The captain welcomes the guests, noting primary Hannah is wearing a cast. She says her A-team is going to show them a great time. Bugs will show them around, then they’ll take off for their first anchorage. Bugs hand out warm towels, and tells them, it’s nice and refreshing to have an all-girls trip. She gives the tour, and they discuss lunch. In his interview, Tom sniffles about the halibut, saying he’s not prepared, and lunch is going to be rushed. It goes back to quality. Malia asks Alex to help in the galley. In Malia’s interview, she says she relies on Alex to help her help Tom hold it together. Hannah noses around the galley, and says she looks forward to lunch. In the crew mess, Malia tells the deckhands that she wanted to give an inspirational meeting, but they don’t have time. She’s naming a lead deckhand, and says Pete had a rocky start, but took it on the chin. Rob has been the most consistent, and Alex – she never thought she’d say this – is lead deckhand. He’s shown it, the crew respects him, and the crew comes to him for a lift. She can rely on him, and they’re an amazing team. In her interview, Alex says, it’s awesome. She can trust him to be lead deckhand, and he’s getting a role where he feels like he can grow in industry. Malia asks Tom if he’s going to be okay, and he says, whatever, because he’s an a-hole.

Tom bitches about the provisions again. He says, if he speaks to Captain Sandy he runs the risk… f*** that. Jess takes pictures of the guests. Tom asks Malia to come to the galley, and shows her the rock hard halibut that he just found out about. She says tell the captain that he’s not happy with the quality, and calm down. Aesha tells Bugs that Tom is having a meltdown. Bugs says she’s texting the provisioner to tell her that her provisions are sh*t. The captain hears what she’s doing, and tells Bugs not to get on Tom’s wagon. Rise above it; he has to come to her. Bugs says she’s just trying help. Tom grumbles that he could have been seeing his family in the UK, but he’s not. Hannah wonders what girls doing back home, and decides she doesn’t care. Malia tells Tom, the guests are there, but he says he doesn’t care about the guests. I wonder why he’s even there. Malia tells him to calm down and go to the captain, but he says he’s not doing this. Captain Sandy tells Bugs to be calm. She can shoulder this. Tom’s energy is running off on her. Instead of improvising, he’s putting his sh*t on everyone else. He has provisions he can cook. In her interview, Bugs says the food is 90% of what the guests remember. She wants Tom to develop a get-through mentality. Tom says he gets it. He’s supposed to go to Captain Sandy.

Tom rallies, and manages to cook something. Rob kisses Jess in the laundry room. Tom gripes, it’s an effing disaster of meal; it’s disgusting. The guests say the food is excellent, and in his interview, Tom bitches about how great his chicken was the last time. It’s so frustrating. In Aesha’s interview, she says, Tom is acting like a spoiled little  British brat. She fails to see how that’s attractive. Tom says, bleep-bleep-bleep, and tells Malia, it’s all effing sh*t. Bugs hunts for Tom, but he’s hiding in his cabin. Malia tells him, they have two more dinners to get through, but he doesn’t care. He’s not happy. He’s a chef, and that’s what defines him. It’s not right. Bugs asks for extra something, and says the guests are loving it, which probably just pisses him off more. Just in case you were wondering, Wikipedia says, a chef is a trained professional cook and tradesman who is proficient in all aspects of food preparation, often focusing on a particular cuisine. The word “chef” is derived from the term chef de cuisine, the director or head of a kitchen. Occupation type: Tradesman. This doesn’t sound like the definition of Tom at all.

The ship anchors in Mallorca near this awesome looking rock. I mean like a cliff, not a little rock. The guests are loving lunch, no complaints, and think it’s fantastic. Tom tells Malia it’s got nothing to do with her and him, and she tells him to turn it around and shake it off. Taylor Swift plays in my head. Some of the guests decide to get in the water. Aesha has to pass Tom in a tight hallway on her way bathroom, and he acts like it’s such an imposition. He needs a smack in the head. Bugs tells him, the guests absolutely loved lunch. A guest asks Alex if he promises she won’t get her hair wet, and he says she 100% will. She tells him, no tip for you, and goes down the slide. Hannah takes a spill on a jet ski, and Rob goes out. She says she thinks it’s out of gas. On the way back to the boat, they talk career moves and how they lost track of themselves. Hannah doesn’t have the best luck today, and is stung on the arm by a jellyfish while swimming back. Rob goes to get some vinegar, and tells her that she makes him nervous. She seems observant and mindful, and he’s not used to being seen. In Jess’s interview, she says Rob is flirting again. Is he kidding? She doesn’t think she can be with somebody who keeps doing the same thing over and over. It’s the definition of insanity. Not quite. That’s doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result. These people all need a thesaurus of some kind.

The guests hang out in the hot tub, and Alex asks if anyone wants to use the slide before it’s packed up, but they’re ready to relax. Bugs brings up drinks, saying she’s not playing around; she brought their shots. She tells them, watch it; the gummies are soaked in vodka. The guests discuss Alex, calling him the hot one. In his interview, he says he has no complaints. He has a bunch of moms who are into him, and was just made lead deckhand. What more can he ask for? It’s nap time for the guests, and no one is cliff jumping today. Malia says she might jump off a cliff. We can only hope. Aesha holds the bag for Rob to put trash in, and Jess sighs. Tom says his food was literal sh*t, but Bugs says, the guests spoke highly of it. In Tom’s interview, he says, even if the guests are happy, so many people are willing to give a bad review for an inferior product, but that’s not him. I don’t know what it is, except that he’s ceased making sense altogether. Bugs tosses some laundry to Jess, and asks Malia for deck crew help with dinner. Malia tells her, they’ll get through it. Bugs decorates the table, putting down a red runner, and using fall colors, along with many bottles. As usual, it’s stunning.

The captain asks Malia about how she met Tom, and how long they’ve been together. Malia says, almost a year; they met on a boat. It was fun, but you get to know someone quickly that way. In her interview, Captain Sandy says she cares about her team. The bosun used to be dealing with deck issues, not boyfriend and fish issues. The stress Tom is putting on Malia, and the stress she’s putting on herself, is getting to her. This place is gorgeous, and the sunset is not to be believed. The guests dress for dinner, proving we really do dress for each other. In the cigar lounge, renamed the champagne lounge for this trip, several of them express their hunger level. The captain pops in, asking if she heard someone was hungry. She asks if they want to start, and Bugs greets them at the table. Tom tells bugs it will be 20 minutes, and in her interview, she says, after Tom being temperamental, the last thing she wants is to tell him the guests are waiting. To be fair, the guests didn’t give anyone a set time, so… Bugs stalls while Tom makes tater tots. On the other hand, he could have a cheese plate or something handy. The guests are starving, and in Bugs’s interview, she says it’s like she’s walking on eggshells, and wishes she could stay out of the galley. She gives them some plates of olives, and Hannah dares Zaida to bite into the pineapple in the table centerpiece. Zaida says she’d rather sit there angrily. Tom delicately decorates the food, and Bugs finally gets to serve. She kisses Alex on the cheek as she goes by.

Tom calls Malia to give him a hand, and she sighs. He throws a slab of something on the counter (bacon?) and gives her orders on what to do with it. In Bugs’s interview, she says she feels like Malia is under a ton of pressure, dealing with her boyfriend, who’s also head chef, and running the deck department. It’s a lot of emotional stress. She wouldn’t want to be in that position. Aesha puts her head on Rob’s shoulder in front of Jess, and I’m disappointed in her. The guests order cocktails. Alex says goodnight. Tom asks if Malia still loves him, saying he’d understand if she didn’t. She says, that hasn’t changed. They all have bad days. I’d hate to see Tom’s really bad day. In Tom’s interview, he says since he came there he’s seem more of Malia, but she hasn’t seen him in a better light. He regrets it, and doesn’t want it to overflow into their relationship. Two of the guests (I honestly don’t know who’s who except for Hannah, and it’s not her) go into a cabin, and one says she had to get away. The other says, the conversation isn’t flowing, and she’s had to bite her tongue since she has issues. In the galley, Aesha tells Malia, the guests are nice, but one of the primaries is weird; like she grew up getting everything she wants. Two of the other guests talk privately, one saying, those girls are bitches. The other says, they don’t vibe. She just had to vent. Everyone gathers on the deck. Zaida asks Ron why the crew dresses up when the guests don’t see them, and he says, so when they do, the crew looks good. The women ask Rob to be with them in a selfie, and he gets in the middle. They ask how he got into yachting, and he says he had been in modeling. One of the guests says people still want to take pictures of him. They try to get him to take his shirt off, but that’s a no. The bitching continues among the guests, one saying she couldn’t believe the complaints about being hungry. They’ve been given food all day. Tom says, it’s been a long day. He’s glad it’s over. Aesha finishes cleaning up.

It’s the second day of charter, and Bugs tells Jess that Rob and Aesha are going to shore with the guests, while Jess gets to do cabins. In Jess’s interview, she says, is Bugs effing kidding her? What woman wouldn’t be jealous? She had insecurities before, now she has to put on her stew face, and wish them a good trip – together. Aesha wonders why Jess hasn’t been cleaning the soap dishes the whole time, and reminds her to do those and the mirrors when she does the bathrooms. Like she needs this added on right now. Bugs asks if the guests are ready, and the tender is put in the water. Rob asks Jess if she’s good, and she says, fine, but she’s jealous that she didn’t get to go. He tells her, don’t be. He hopes she understand his intentions, and she hopes the women do too. In Aesha’s interview, she says there’s no reason for Jess to be jealous. It’s obvious Rob is smitten with her. Aesha finds him too intense.

The guests line up with Rob and Aesha for a photo, and Jess watches. Everyone has their arms around each other’s backs, and Aesha’s hand wanders down to Rob’s butt. Jess says she’ll punch Aesha in the face if she touches Ron’s ass again; that wasn’t cool. As she walks through the boat, she says she’s not playing that sh*t. She will f*** her up.

Next time, the guests dare to be hungry again, jumping off the boat, Bugs says the guests and Tom are high maintenance, a guest doesn’t eat beef, Bugs says it’s going to be bad, and Jess confronts Aesha about her ass grab.

👄 Bravo’s Chat Room was excellent. The guests? panel? were Gizelle from The Real Housewives of Potomac, Kate from Below Deck, Porsha from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Hannah from the nightmare that is Summer House. I love Kate, and Porsha has grown so much since she started on Bravo. She’s come a long way since thinking the Underground Railroad was an actual railroad. It was a lot of fun, with the ladies discussing all manner of reality TV gossip.

🌍 Something To Take You Away…

Far from the pandemic and everything that comes with it.

https://www.bbcamerica.com/shows/planet-earth-ii/episodes/planet-earth-a-celebration-planet-earth-a-celebration–46767

🌱 And So It Begins…

Another week, more running around, and that pesky need for sleep getting in the way. Hoping you stay safe, stay resilient, and stay unconcerned about first world problems.