(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Shahs of Sunset
Your guess is as good as mine as to what happened here. Part one of the Reunion was supposed to air at 9 pm, but somehow it turned into The Notebook. I checked everywhere – Bravo’s site, Twitter, Facebook, Google – nothing. I saw the question being posed on the Shahs Facebook page, but no one answered. 🤷🏻♀️ I even checked through the entire next week of the digital guide, and nada. Is there a lawsuit pending? As soon as I find out what the blip is going on, I’ll let you know.
It was probably just as well, since I have a sick child dog who had to stay at the hospital tonight, and I’m just a wee bit distracted. I poured an entire pot of tea though, for your entertainment pleasure.
My Little Man
🏥 Today, General Hospital’s Flashback Friday was the episode where Jordan and Curtis got married on The Haunted Star. Then found Kiki’s body in their wedding night stateroom. And they still haven’t gone on their honeymoon.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
You guessed it. I missed the beginning. Why break a streak? There was mostly a lot of backtracking. The only new news was, Laura and Carly meet at the MetroCourt, and Finn runs into Willow at the hospital.
Laura says she knows Carly is busy, and the Nurses Ball is just around the corner. Carly says, Michael’s custody case is tomorrow. She’s done everything she can to strengthen it, and hopes it’s enough.
Trina sees Portia at the hospital, and Portia asks how the movie was. Trina says the movie was fine, but the four of them being together was awesome. Portia wonders why she’s back. She thought Josslyn’s driver would take Trina home. Trina says they offered, but she wanted to drive back with Portia. Doesn’t that make her a thoughtful daughter? Portia says, it does, unless she’s worried about not being safe. Then it makes her anxious.
Jason and Sonny meet Curtis at the pier. Sonny says they were giving Cyrus room to let TJ go, and Curtis says, all eyes are on Jordan now. Sonny asks how TJ is, and Curtis says, good; he’s back at work. Jason asks how TJ’s memory about the kidnapping is, and Curtis flashes back to TJ telling him and Jordan about being abducted, and telling Chase that he didn’t get a good look at them. Curtis tells Jason and Sonny, it’s sketchy, and Sonny says, that’s a good thing. The less TJ remembers, the safer he is from Cyrus.
Mac shows up at Jordan’s office, and says he’s been working non-stop on TJ’s kidnapping. Jordan says she appreciates it, and asks how it’s going. Mac flashes back to TJ telling him about how he heard a train, the basement was damp, and he also thought there was construction in the area. Mac says he spoke to TJ this morning, and TJ remembered a few more details. He’s hoping to piece it together, and narrow down the area. She asks if he’s had any luck, and he says he’s getting closer. There are still a lot of questions, and he’s hoping she can point him toward the answers.
Laura says, Nelle is dangerous, isn’t she? and Carly says, she’s a relentless nightmare. Carly flashes back to confronting Nelle about pretending she slept with Sonny; Nelle causing Carly to think she was being haunted by Morgan; and Nelle telling Carly she has 5% of the ELQ shares, and a room at the Quartermaines, and saying, Carly doesn’t know what she can do to blow Carly’s entire world apart. Carly remembers Nelle saying Michael was abusive, that she’s never going to see her grandchild, and Carly’s mom is going to lose her license. She flashes back to Nelle telling her about how they met when Nelle was a child, and Carly trying to get her to do the right thing, but Nelle saying she’s going to bankrupt the hospital, and it’s all Carly’s fault. Laura says, it’s not just Michael that Nelle wants to bring down. She’s filed a lawsuit against GH. Carly says, Nelle did that to force Michael into giving her custody; it’s just collateral damage. Laura says she doesn’t think the hospital’s insurance is going to cover it. They see Cyrus at the bar, and Carly says, you’ve got to be kidding her. Laura can’t believe he’d have the nerve to set foot in Carly’s establishment. Carly says, if it were up to her, he’d still be in Pentenville.
Curtis says, from what he can tell, the police department found nothing that links Cyrus to TJ, although Mac is getting closer. Sonny says, it doesn’t surprise him. It’s a high-profile case, and Mac is the Chief of Detectives. Curtis says, Mac is making it his personal mission to find out. We flash back to Mac telling Jordan where he thinks TJ was held, and suggesting they get surveillance footage from the bodega on the corner. Curtis says, if he finds out… Jason says, it will put TJ and Jordan in danger. Sonny asks where Jordan is, and Curtis says, she’s not coming. She doesn’t even know the meeting is happening. Sonny asks, why not? and Curtis says he’s not sure Jordan is ready to talk about what needs to happen next, but he sure as hell is.
Jordan asks what Mac is thinking, and Mac says he doesn’t understand why Jordan was sent text messages that seemed to be from TJ. We flash back to Jordan getting the messages, and Curtis saying that TJ is just taking some space. Mac wonders, why go through the trouble of convincing her that TJ is safe?
Finn tells Willow that he knows his brother hurt her. There’s no excuse, but it took courage for him to face her, and own up to what he did. She says he sounds proud, but he says, after what Chase did, he wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see him again, but he did talk to her and explain. She says she saw him when she went to get her things. She knows he’s sorry. She is too, but that doesn’t change anything. Sasha comes out of the elevator, holding a bloody towel to her nose, and Michael is with her. He looks sheepishly at Willow.
Laura tells Carly, Nelle is claiming the head of the hospital and a senior staff member conspired to give Wiley surgery without permission. We flash back to Nelle saying she didn’t sign the form, and everyone else saying she did. Laura says, charges like that aren’t covered by insurance. If the hospital did have to pay, along with all the negative press that would come with it, she’s not sure GH would survive. Cyrus approaches their table, and says, it does sound dire.
Mac wonders, why no ransom? Why did they want Jordan to think TJ was just letting off steam? Jordan says she’s wondered herself. Maybe they were biding their time. He says, for what? She wishes she knew. TJ didn’t hear them talking, so unless he remembered… We flash back to TJ saying he was chloroformed before he could identify anyone. (I just thought, what about the dude with the Kentucky ringtone? Didn’t TJ interact with him? Why didn’t Mac ask for a description?) Mac says nothing like that has happened, and she says, it sounds like he has a theory. Lay it on her.
Curtis says, the less he knows about Sonny’s methods, the better. Jordan is the Police Commissioner, and can’t be near what happens next. Once she threw Taggert and the others under the bus, and Cyrus’s sentence was vacated, they were supposed to handle him. It’s how Sonny maintains peace and protects his loved ones. Sonny says, it is, and Curtis says, with all due respect, what’s taking so long?
Portia says she knows Trina is still processing everything. It takes time, but constantly worrying about her isn’t going to help. Trina says she just wants to spend extra time together. Portia asks if Trina is sure it’s not because she doesn’t want to be home alone, and Trina admits she’s right. She says she’d rather wait with Portia. Portia says, it’s okay. What happened to Trina’s father was the exception, not the rule. The police department keeps the town safe. Trina asks how she can say that. Jordan is the Commissioner, and threw her dad under the bus. We flash back to Jordan telling Trina about the undercover operative, and Taggert tampering with evidence to make sure Cyrus was found guilty. Trina asks Portia how she can trust anything that has to do with Jordan?
Carly tells Cyrus, they were having a private conversation. He says he didn’t mean to interrupt, and Laura says, and yet he has. He says, after decades of hearing almost nothing but male voices, forgive him for being drawn to the siren song of female conversation. He’s sorry; however… Laura says, an apology followed by a however, and he says, the future of General Hospital is a matter that concerns everyone in Port Charles. Laura says, she’ll keep everyone posted, and he says, knowing her steady hand is at the reins remediates his concern. Carly asks if she missed the part where he told her what he wanted, and Cyrus sits down. He says he wanted to know her and Sonny’s address, so he can invite them to his housewarming party. They’ve been so gracious in welcoming him, he’d like to return the gesture.
Jason understands Curtis’s concern, but they have to move carefully, and not rush in. They both know that if they force it, things can go sideways, and who knows how it will play out. Curtis says he has a family now, and all he can think about are Trina and Cameron, and how one bullet was all that was separating them from life and death. He flashes back to pulling Trina out of the warehouse, and says, he hears Trina calling out for the father he couldn’t save. Sonny says, it couldn’t happen at a worse time for all of them. Curtis says, Stella told him what’s going on with Sonny’s father, and Sonny says Curtis knows he wants to neutralize Cyrus as much as he does. He’s trying to solve the problem, and doing everything he can. Curtis has his word. The plan is already in motion.
Mac tells Jordan, without a ransom demand, the kidnappers weren’t motivated by financial gain. The only other reason would be to gain leverage, but the only person connected to TJ with power and influence is Jordan. She says, TJ was returned, and he asks if any demands were made. Jordan flashes back to meeting with Cyrus in prison, Harmony’s subsequent visit with Cyrus’s instructions, and finally admitting to Sonny what’s going on. She remembers Sonny saying she told him Cyrus came to Port Charles for personal reasons, and that means her. She tells Mac, nothing. He tells her that he’s grateful for the job. He appreciates her trusting him, and has come to think of her as a friend, as well as a boss. Jordan says, the feeling is mutual, and he says if she ever wants to talk, about the job or anything else, he’s there.
Willow asks, what happened? and Sasha says she just has a bloody nose. Finn says he’ll have a look, and takes her into an examining room. Willow asks if Michael wants to talk about it. He says he and Brook ran into Chase and Sasha at the boxing gym. Tempers flared, and Brook accidentally punched Sasha. We flash back to Brook accusing Sasha of being too shallow to see Michael for who he is, and saying she could have been sitting pretty, then punching her. Willow asks, if Chase was there, why didn’t he drive Sasha?
Carly tells Cyrus, it’s thoughtful of him to include them, but they have a lot going on. Their plate is full, and their calendar is booked. He says, what a pity. He’d like to send one anyway, in case the day opens up. She says he can send it there or the coffee warehouse; he knows that address. We flash back to the ambush at the warehouse, and he says, why would he? She says, it’s a business address. She’s sure it’s as easy to find as a pub in Brooklyn. He says now she’s making him hungry for a pastrami sandwich. He can’t remember the last time he had one. Do they serve them there? She says, no; they don’t. He sighs, and says he hopes Laura’s schedule is a bit more accommodating. Laura says, the city is going through a major crimewave, and he says, tragic stuff. He hopes she gets a handle on it soon. She says, in the meantime, it’s keeping her busy, so she’ll have to pass. He says, it’s a shame. He was hoping the both of them could attend; or rather, all three of them. He doesn’t know if Sonny told Carly – he knows Sonny doesn’t like to burden her with the details of coffee importing – but he and Sonny reached an understanding. Laura says, about what? and he says, a conflict of interest, but it’s all cleared up. He’s planning on making a memorable debut in Port Charles. Laura says, he’s a memorable guy, and he says, likewise; they both are. They can expect invitations. He certainly knows where Laura lives. Carly says, it’s a matter of public record, but he makes it sound ominous. He says, it’s unintentional. He starts to leave, and says he’ll put them both on his Christmas card list. Laura tells Carly, raincheck? and Carly says, absolutely.
Curtis asks what he needs to do, and Jason says, keep doing what he’s doing; keep living his life. Curtis says, maintaining cover, and Jason says, the best thing to do is put on a normal front. What they have in mind takes time. Curtis says, how much time? and Sonny says, it depends. Jason says, if they attack now, while Cyrus is parading around town acting like the wronged party, it could draw unwanted attention. Sonny says, it’s the last thing they need. Curtis says, so he’s waiting for better optics? Sonny says, he and Cyrus reached a truce. Curtis says, which means? Sonny says, they dig in and play nice, until they find the right moment to act. Curtis flashes back to Jordan wondering if she should confess. He says while Sonny tries to thread a very narrow needle, Jordan is stuck on a tightrope.
Jordan says she appreciates Mac’s loyalty and friendship. He’s glad to hear it, and she says there’s nothing about the kidnapping she’s not telling him. He hopes she’s not offended, and she says she knows how it looks from his end, and that he had to ask. She’s glad to have the right man on the case, and has every confidence that he’ll get to the bottom of the kidnapping. Mac says he’ll stay on it until he does.
Curtis goes to Jordan’s office. She says, it’s good to see him, and kisses him. He asks if she thinks she can drop everything and join him for a late dinner. She says she was wrapping things up, but she wants to check on TJ at the hospital. He asks if everything is okay, and she says, it’s fine, but it will be better once she sees him. They leave, and Mac watches.
Finn checks Sasha’s nose, and says, good news; it’s not broken. She’ll want to put ice on it to keep the swelling down. She says, so much for the new face of Deception. They haven’t even launched yet. She’s glad the paparazzi weren’t there to see it. She knows Chase told Finn, and he knows everything. Finn says he wanted Chase to walk away from a well-intentioned disaster before it got worse. He flashes back to telling Chase, it’s not fair to Willow that her next decision is based on a lie; fix it. He tells Sasha, for what it’s worth, he thinks they should both come clean. She says, then what? Everyone is happy? He says, that sounds better than what they’re doing now. She says, it would be for her and Chase, but Michael and Willow will never be happy if Nelle gets Wiley.
Portia says she doesn’t like it any more than Trina does, but Trina’s father trusted Jordan. Trina says, clearly, he shouldn’t have, but Portia says, it’s not their call. Even if they don’t know the reason, that should count for something. Trina says, maybe. She’ll get back to Portia on that. Portia says they can agree Trina’s father would want her to move forward, and focus on her future, not his past. Trina says he wanted to watch her grow up. Now he doesn’t get what he wants. It’s not fair. Portia hugs her, and says she knows.
Sonny goes the MetroCourt, and Carly says he just missed Cyrus. He asks if there were any problems, and she says Cyrus was pretending to be nice, and denying he was a threat. Sonny asks what she means, and she says Cyrus wanted their address, so he could invite them to his house warming. She told him that he already had it, since he tried to gun them down. Then he invited Laura, making it clear that he knew her address. Sonny says he’s there now, and she asks, how much longer is Port Charles going to have to endure this guy?
Portia asks if Trina feels better, and Trina says, a little bit. Because she has a great mom, not because she despises Jordan any less. Portia says, Jordan’s not the enemy. Trina says, no, she isn’t. He is. Cyrus walks toward them, and Trina stomps up to him. She says she knows who he is, and he says he’s so sorry to hear about her father’s death. She tells him that he doesn’t sound sorry. He sounds like someone who needs to be stopped. He says, it’s a misunderstanding. Curtis and Jordan arrive, and Curtis tells Cyrus, back off. Stay the hell away from her.
Finn tells Sasha, there will be some bruising, but no scar. She thanks him, and says she knows he’s worried about her and Chase, but they know what they’re doing. He tells her, if she says so. He noticed how she looked at Michael. She says she wasn’t looking any kind of way at him, and Finn says, she loves Michael, and Chase loves Willow. Is the best solution really to play God with everyone’s life?
Michael tells Willow that he wasn’t going to make Sasha call a Ride Share. Chase was reading Brook the riot act, so he drove her. It’s hard, turning off the feelings. She says she knows. Tomorrow is Wiley’s custody hearing, and they have to be ready. He says, they will be.
Carly asks Sonny, remember the time they got married so she couldn’t testify against him? He says, which one? and she says, either one. Is there anything she needs to know? He says, for now it’s best… and she says, to wait until she needs to know. She wants him to promise her he’s going to end it, and he says he promises. She asks, when? and he flashes back to making Cyrus an offer. Sonny tells him, he can live there, but he can’t move his merchandise through Sonny’s territory. Cyrus says, they have a deal, and they shake hands. Afterward, he tells Jason, they’re buying time. When Cyrus stops looking at him out of the corner of his eye, they’ll take him out. He tells Carly, sooner than their friend Cyrus thinks.
Mac sees Laura, and asks if she’s looking for the Commissioner. Laura asks if she’s in, and he says they both missed her. He has some things for her to sign, but it can wait until morning; closed cases. Can he help her? She says, not unless he can get rid of Cyrus for her.
Cyrus says he doesn’t believe he and Curtis have been introduced. Curtis says Cyrus knows damn well who he is. He’s Jordan’s husband. And he knows who Cyrus is; he knows everything about him. Play his game somewhere else, and stay away from Trina and Portia. Understand?
On Monday, Nelle is prepared to make Julian a generous offer, Chase wonders who will help Brook if her father doesn’t, Finn asks someone to meet him at The Rib, and Willow asks Michael if he can marry a women who will probably never be in love with him. The digital guide lists tomorrow’s show as the one from November 27, 2018.
The Real Housewives of New York City
LuAnn goes to Tavern on the Green to meet Jacques, who is still pretty cute. In her interview, LuAnn says they were together for four and a half years. She’d just gotten divorced and her kids were teenagers. We flash back to that time, and she says they have a healthy relationship, and check in with each other. Now he’s engaged, and she’s happy that he’s happy. She tells Jacques that her probation is over, and it feels good to move forward. It’s been two years. He asks, what’s next? and she says she’s taking it day by day. She’s with the girls a lot, and they like to drink, but she promised herself that she’s not going to right now. She hasn’t decided either way, but she’s wondering if can have wine with dinner. (Yep. It’s always wine with dinner.) Jacques says, he thinks a glass of red wine is fine, if she can manage to have one. She says, not two? And he says, one. One or none. He’s not worried though, and says, whatever she decides will be the plan and she’ll follow it. In LuAnn’s interview, she says having his support makes her happy. He knows her well, and he’ll have her back no matter what she decides. She recently got involved with a podcast called Chanel in the City, and she’s co-hosting an event featuring comedy. Jacques recently started doing stand-up. She’s researching material for Marry-F***-Kill, and asked him to make a guest appearance. She tells him that she’s performing Feeling Jovani at the event, and he says he hasn’t heard it. She plays it on her phone, and he asks who Jovani is. She says, that’s the best question ever.
Dorinda gazes at her and Richard’s old townhouse. In her interview, she says, today, she’s visiting old haunts. The townhouse was a special place for her and Richard. He carried her over the threshold. They had a huge garden, lots of wonderful dinners, and hosted parties. Everyone who was anyone walked through their doors. It was a beautiful, growing, loving time for them. She goes to Nello, and maître d Jon, greets her. She points out the ring she’s wearing, and says Richard gave it to her there on their five-year anniversary. The restaurant is where they always celebrated. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Dorinda has been dredging up a lot, and talking about Richard non-stop. Sonja, Ramona, and Elyse join Dorinda. Sonja pulls a shaker out of her purse, and says she’s on liquids, since she broke a zipper putting on her dress at the fashion show. In Sonja’s interview, she says she does an occasional detox of all liquids. Day three is always the worst. Dorinda says Sonja’s show was incredible, and she loved how Sonja diffused things with Leah. In her interview, Sonja says, Leah doesn’t wear the same kind of sparkly numbers the other girls do. She thought Leah would like the cashmere twin-set. She does. That’s why it has her name on it. She says, it couldn’t be worse. They’re eating this gorgeous food, while she’s eating this putrid-looking soup. Dorinda says she and Leah had a great talk. Leah is an interesting person. We see a clip of the two of them, hanging out at a bar and talking. She says Leah is very open. If she’s asked a question, she’ll answer it. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she feels like Leah has access to Tinsley in a different way. She wants to go to lunch with the two of them, and thinks maybe Leah can provide Tinsley with a comfort level or a connection, and maybe bring them back together. Ramona asks, who’s going to LuAnn’s thing? Elyse asks if LuAnn is drinking, and Ramona says, she’s taking it day by day. Elyse says, so she’s not committed to it long term? and Ramona thinks that would be setting herself up for failure. In Ramona’s interview, she says, if LuAnn wants to drink again, it’s her choice. She’s a big girl, and a responsible woman. As long as she’s not out of control, Ramona is supportive. Dorinda points out that Elyse only ate half her pasta. That’s why she’s a size zero, and Dorinda is a six. She’s a full-figured lady. Since when is a six full-figured? And while I’m on the subject, since when would a six fit Dorinda?
Tinsley and Dale go out to lunch. In Tinsley’s interview, she says her mom loves to come to town. Seeing the babies (Tinsley’s dogs) is a new excuse. They’re Dale’s grandchildren. Who knows if she’ll have any others. She thanks Dale for taking care of the dogs while she was gone. Dale says she loves them, but they’re a lot of work. Boy, don’t I know about that. Tinsley says she and Bruce are done. In her interview, she says that they broke up, and it was a mature ending. They don’t hate each other; they’re just done. Dale says she never even met him. She can’t imagine Tinsley living in Chicago, and Tinsley says she thinks that was part of the attraction. Bruce was a Chicago guy. In her interview, Tinsley says she thinks she just wanted to be in Chicago, but she doesn’t know. She tells Dale that Bruce couldn’t make time in his life for her, and Dale says, his life is set, and he doesn’t need any complications. He probably decided it was too much for him. She asks how Tinsley feels, walking the runway after all those years. Tinsley says she loved it, and Dale says when she’s on stage, she’s happy. Tinsley says, it makes ger irritated with the girls that she is younger, but she’s done a lot, and it’s never acknowledged. No way is she letting them gang up on her again. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she’s not letting them walk on her again. Particularly Dorinda. Dale says, the only thing that worries her is the issue of a baby. She’s afraid Tinsley is going to miss out if she dies before that happens. She’d like to croak after the baby is born. Tinsley says she can’t croak before. She promised to help Tinsley take care of it.
Sonja goes to Englewood, New Jersey, where the office for her brands is. She meets with VP Laura, and CEO Gaurav. She tells Laura that she’s annoyed that her clothes don’t fit. In Sonja’s interview, she says, she and Gaurav been in business many years, and just had a fantastic show. HE needs to show her the money. Gaurav says they have a very select customer, and Sonja says that’s why they’re expanding their base. She knows they lost money up front; that’s the business. She asks if they got sales from the show, and he says, no. She says, what the hell? In her interview, she says she knows there were losses up front, but seeing it on paper makes it real. There is a future. That’s why they’re working hard to make a profit. She tells Gaurav, she thinks Century 21 will be good exposure. In Sonja’s interview, she says, they sell online, but she recently got a call from Century 21, and they want to buy her collection. She wants to see what they have to say.
Leah talks to Rob. In her interview, she says, they never married, and she’s upset that he never proposed. It took a long time, but they made a point of being best friends, and being there for their daughter. Even though they live in separate houses, two blocks away. She tells him that Kier said he likes someone, but he says, no; he was talking about someone he worked with. She says they need to date people; this isn’t normal. He says he’s done, and she asks if he isn’t lonely. She is. She wants passion and romance. In Leah’s interview, she says she thinks they should date more, and show as parents that they can maintain a healthy relationship. She wonders if they’re going to be single forever. She tells Rob, her mom still isn’t talking to her, and in her interview, explains that when she decided to drink, her mom stopped speaking to her. She tells him that her mother won’t be happy until she’s in church, repenting. She did that once, and the priest hit on her, and asked how many partners she’d had. Obviously, she lied about the number.
LuAnn goes club Slate, which has a giant slide from the third to first level. LuAnn meets with podcast host Chanel, and says she loves the room. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Chanel asked her to be on the podcast, and they’re hosting a comedy event to benefit Stomp Out Bullying and Fortune Society, that helps people get their lives back after incarceration. Jacques arrives, and LuAnn says he’s going steal the show. In her interview, she says Jacques is engaged to a lovely lady, and has her stamp of approval. LuAnn wants to introduce Jacques by saying she wants to set the record straight; she never screwed the pirate. Jacques doesn’t think it’s funny, and she says if she’d done it, she’d be defensive, not joking about it.
Leah picks up Ramona, who says, it’s weird being back in the city. She wants to get in the fall swing of things. Now that she’s settled in more, she feels good. Leah says she texted her mom that she wanted to stop fighting – lifeis too short – but she got no response. Ramona says she told Leah, go in person. The only way to maybe come to terms is to go there physically. In Leah’s interview, she says, the nine years she didn’t drink helped, and now her parents are closer. When her mom is disapproving, it takes her back to her teen years. Ramona tells her, mothers deserve respect, even if they’re not always right. Leah says she shouldn’t be judged by her failures, but her achievements, and starts to cry. Ramona says Leah’s mother is afraid Leah will fail again; she’s scared. In her interview, Leah says that Ramona and her mom are complete opposites, but having Ramona’s attention in a maternal way is comforting. Ramona says, people hide behind texts. She asks what Leah’s mom’s favorite flower is. Leah says, lilacs, and they’re also her favorite. Ramona says they’re her mother’s favorite too. She tells Leah to bring her mother a bouquet, and say she’s sorry she disappointed her. Leah says they need comedy now.
In her interview, Ramona says podcasts are gaining popularity, but she doesn’t have time for them. Dorinda suggests that she, Leah, and Tinsley have lunch together. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she doesn’t like the idea. She doesn’t need someone else there. In Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda thinks she would be a great mediator, but Tinsley’s not batsh*t crazy. Her being the voice of reason is scary. Jacques asks if Ramona has ever bullied anyone, and we flash back to several of the many times she has. She says she doesn’t think so, and he asks Dorinda, who says, no. We flash back to ditto. Dorinda says she used to fight the bullies who picked on other kids. Sonja says she’s glad she and Leah talked it out. In Leah’s interview, she says maybe she misread things, and Sonja wasn’t doing some weird shady sh*t, but she doesn’t think so. It’s not a big deal though. Sonja sent her a pair of pajamas. She can get over it. Dorinda says she doesn’t think LuAnn is an alcoholic. Tom literally drove her to drink. In Dorinda’s interview, she says LuAnn always says, it’s not about Tom, but it was. It was fast and furious, and stressful, beyond LuAnn’s control. She turned to the tipple. LuAnn says she needs some water, and picks up a glass. Ramona tells her, it’s all vodka, but she takes a sip anyway. Then takes another. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, it tastes so good. Dorinda says, it’s over; let the curse be lifted. In Ramona’s interview, she says, it was bound to happen. All she had was a sip. Dorinda says, it’s a big moment. No one is judging or cares. In her interview, LuAnn says, to be able to take a sip of vodka and not get arrested is huge. She doesn’t have to make excuses; she’s a grown woman. She’s ready. Elyse asks if she isn’t in AA, and Dorinda says Elyse isn’t the judge and jury. Elyse says she’s not, but if you’re in AA, you want to resist. Dorinda tells her to mind her own garden. In Elyse’s interview, she says she knows Dorinda and LuAnn are drinking buddies, but LuAnn just got out of AA and off probation. If LuAnn was her buddy, she’d be pulling the drink out of her hand.
LuAnn is introduced, and says she’s proud to be part of the organization. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, there’s so much going on, she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Were you bullied, in jail, or are you part of the comedy act? LuAnn reads an entry from her journal, and jokes about it. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s proud of everyone that tries. LuAnn makes her pirate joke, and introduces Jacques, who takes the stage. He says he was bulled as immigrant because of his name, which people pronounced Jackass. Sonja says, he could be funny, but she can’t understand him. Dorinda wishes there was a bouncing ball of interpretation. Jacques says he’s sorry to interrupt Sonja, who insists she’s listening. It’s just these cackling bitches. In her interview, she says, maybe in France he’s hilarious. Ramona decides she’s bored and gets up. In Sonja’s interview, she says she usually has the pulse of the room, and there’s no pulse here. She can’t eat, can’t drink, and it’s not funny. She leaves with Ramona, and they go to the bathroom. LuAnn sings Money Can’t Buy You Class, and the crowd joins in. Elyse says Ramona dances like Elaine on Seinfeld.
Sonja tells Dorinda, she’s not drinking, and LuAnn is. In her interview, Sonja says, the last thing she wants is LuAnn drinking – without her. Tinsley goes down the slide, and Leah follows. Ramona thinks it’s the funniest part of the night. Tinsley says she wants to work on herself, and she’s not ready to be set up. She wants to be single for a little bit. Ramona is proud Tinsley made the decision to end something, and is taking charge of her life. She tends to stay to the bitter end. Dorinda goes down the slide, then LuAnn, and Sonja nearly slams into her. Dorinda tells Leah that Tinsley seems apprehensive about the lunch, and Leah says Dorinda is a little intimidating. Dorinda tells Tinsley that Leah said Tinsley is intimidated by her, and in Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda and tequila, no Bueno. Ramona asks if she’s scary, and Leah says, not really. In her interview, Dorinda says, of course Tinsley is intimidated by her. She’s intimidated by a butterfly. Tinsley says she doesn’t need Leah to have lunch with Dorinda, and Dorinda says she thought it would be nice for her. Leah has positive access to Tinsley in a different way. Tinsley says she doesn’t need other people to help solve her issues. Dorinda says, everything she does is no good. Sonja says, here we go again. Tinsley says she’s sick of people talking for her, and Sonja can’t believe that they’re fighting at an anti-bullying event.
LuAnn plays ping-pong with Ramona. Dorinda tells Tinsley, she came with good intentions. She’s leaving because she’s starting to get mad. In Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda and Tinsley are so stuck, they don’t need a mediator; they need a miracle. Tinsley says, way to make it work.
Next time, Dorinda thinks Ramona is behind a Page Six item about her, Dorinda tells Tinsley that her gum lasts longer than Tinsley’s relationships, the women go to an orchard where there’s a hayride, a corn maze, and a winery tasting.
🔪 On Top Chef, Gregory and Kevin were going to have their concepts come to life, and drew knives as to who would pick someone first for their team. Kevin got the first choice. His team consisted of Bryan, Melissa, and Karen, all Restaurant Wars winners. Gregory’s team included Brian full of Malarkey, Lee Anne, and Stephanie, Lee Anne described the team as a bunch of wild cards. Gregory wanted his diners to feel like they’d been whisked away to the Caribbean, while Kevin wanted to present a style of country cooking not usually found outside of people’s homes. Gregory said it best in his interview, by telling us, it was quite an undertaking in the timeframe they had.
The chefs had 48 hours to plan, and no restrictions. They began by planning their menu, setting up their kitchen, and selecting the décor. The winning team would split $40K, and get a subscription to Open Table stockware to help run their restaurants.
While buying dinnerware, Kevin nearly had a fistfight with Lee Anne and Brian full of Malarkey when he’d put down some plates only to have them end up with the other team. Lee Anne swore they had no idea Kevin was saving the plates, and Karen diffused the situation, talking Kevin down. While part of the teams began cooking, the rest set up the restaurants. Kevin hit another snag when his curry brand wasn’t available. He was concerned that it was going to be struggle to get out his twelve dishes. Karen felt she was spread too thin, and not dedicating enough time to both the front and back of the house.
Karen explained to the diners that Country Captain was family style, and really a feast. Melissa felt there was too much on the menu, and it was overwhelming for all of them. The first set of diners ran late, causing the next group to have to wait. Brian full of Malarkey did the front of the house for Kann, but Lee Anne felt he wasn’t absorbing the original plan.
The judges said both teams had conveyed the mood board, there was a lot of good food, and all in all, they did an awesome job. Kann was the winner, having a well-designed menu that was cohesive. Kevin was clearly disappointed. Tom told Gregory that he didn’t try to chef it up, and stayed true to what he’d said it would be. He said it made him want to go to Haiti, and Gregory had expressed what the island was about in ten dishes.
Gail said Kevin had taken on a lot, and he said he could have made last minute changes, but didn’t think that would have been in the spirit of Top Chef. I have no idea what he meant by that, and got the vibe that the judges didn’t either, and thought it was an odd excuse. The judges felt there were too many dishes, but Kevin said, although some editing might have been in order, his grandmother would have thought the chef should give everything they can, and then give the guest more. Tom said, the mushrooms were just bad, and Karen whined that she didn’t have the help she was promised. Tom asked why Kevin thought he shouldn’t be sent home, and Kevin said he was raised to own his mistakes, and couldn’t live with himself if he threw anyone under the bus. In the end, any mistake rested on his shoulders. That being said, he was told to pack his knives and go. Or at least move on to Last Chance Kitchen. In his interview, he said it was important to do the right thing, and the captain went down with the ship. He admired captains who did that when they could have jumped into a lifeboat.
Coming up, summer camp, a dinner for athletes, Brian full of Malarkey feels betrayed and maybe walks, and the finale in Europe.
🎭 Garcelle Explains the Drama…
She might be a newbie, but she’s not afraid to jump into the thick of it.
Friday may not have the same meaning for everyone right now, but it’s still Friday. Stay strong, stay following the guidelines, and stay knowing what day it is. Or at least the month.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
I honestly don’t know wth happens. I think I have extra time, then I run late. I’m usually here by the time the opening credits roll, but still. So here’s the set-up. Robert is crying in his beer at The Floating Rib, and Anna arrives; it’s Dante’s birthday, and Sonny went to visit Mike; Brook and Michael spar at Sonny’s gym, and Jax catches up to Carly at the MetroCourt bar.
Sam tells Kristina, it’s no secret that Carly and Sonny are Jason’s closest friends. Jason knew them before she came along, and she’s fine with that. She supports it. Alexis asks Kristina, what’s going on? Why is she saying hurtful things to Sam? Kristina says she’s not trying to be hurtful. She’s trying to get Sam to see the truth. Molly says, it sounds like something Kristina learned from DoD, but Kristina says, just the opposite. She’s gained perspective since then, and is trying to be a better person. Molly says, so now Kristina is a relationship expert, despite never having had a healthy relationship herself? Is she jealous of Sam’s love for Jason?
At The Floating Rib, Mac thanks Anna for coming. Robert is sad, but okay. He’s been drinking a lot of beer. Robert says he can’t believe Holly is gone. He texted Luke, but he’s probably preoccupied with Ethan. Mac says, it’s horrible, losing a parent. Robert says, Holly could charm the pants off of you, steal your wallet, and you’d still be charmed. He really did love her. Anna asks how he is, and he says, lousy. Mac tells Anna, he didn’t lose a great love, but Holly was a great friend. Anna says she’s sorry, and Felicia says, Holly would want them to celebrate her life, not mourn her death. Anna says, champagne and caviar, everything first class. On someone else’s dime, of course (🍷). Maxie and Peter come in, and Maxie asks, what’s going on? Robert says, it’s a terrible time. He doesn’t need Peter around, so get out.
Sonny shows Mike Dante’s picture on his phone, and says it’s his grandson. Does Mike recognize him? Mike says, nice phone. Felix comes in, and asks if Mike needs anything. Mike asks if Felix wants to play checkers, but Sonny says he needs to talk to Felix. He’ll be right back. He leaves Mike his phone, and they go into the hallway. He tells Felix that his dad is struggling to eat, but Felix says, Mike had some applesauce when he woke up. Is it a problem? Sonny says, it’s not a problem. It’s just that Mike is eating the same thing his baby daughter is eating, and it’s strange for him. Sonny goes back into Mike’s room, where Mike is staring into space and smiling.
Jax tells Carly that Nina had a front row seat to the custody war between Lulu and Valentin, and they called a cease fire. Carly says, that’s great, but Charlotte’s case is nothing like Wiley’s. Nina said she wanted to protect Wiley, and that’s why she hired Nelle. He says, if there’s no smoking gun, Nina isn’t going to plant one, and Carly says, why not? Nelle has done it often enough. Turnabout is fair play. He says, Nina looks at Nelle and sees herself. She never got the love of a mother. She says, it’s the same sob story Nelle has given before. It’s an act. She’s a total manipulator, and Nina should know better.
Nina says Nelle misinterpreted the conversation. She wasn’t defending Nelle; she was just trying to understand. Nelle says, that’s more than anyone else has done or tried to do. Nina says, if Nelle is honest, she’s given people reason to doubt her; even to fear her. Nelle says, she can’t deny that, but can’t people change? Learn from their mistakes, and become a better person? Like Nina. Nina says, it doesn’t matter what she thinks, what matters is what the judge thinks. Nelle says, the judge will listen to Nina, but Nina says she doesn’t know why she should get involved, since the custody hearing has nothing to do with her.
Brook tells Michael, he can hit harder; put some muscle into it. Get in touch with his anger. He needs to get his aggression out, or disaster will strike. He’ll see Nelle, and lose it, calling her out for the psycho bitch she is. Then Nelle will turn on the waterworks, and tell the judge he’s abusive and vindictive. Michael says, that’s why he’s going to be under control, but she says if he goes in cold and calculating looking to inflict maximum damage, he’ll regret it. That’s why he has to vent while he’s there. Pretend she’s Nelle, and let her have it. He punches harder, and she says, that’s it. Now pretend he’s that girlfriend stealing Chase, and give him what he deserves. Michael turns around, and sees Sasha and Chase standing behind him, outside the ring.
Anna tells Maxie and Peter, Charlie’s might be a better fit. Robert is hurting, and drowning in beer. Maxie explains to Peter that Holly was Robert’s ex-wife. He says, Robert was married to Anna, but Maxie says, you can have more than one great love; look at them. Anna says her relationship with Holly was complicated. Sometimes they were friends, sometimes enemies; they were frenemies. She feels bad, especially since Robert adored Holly. Peter says she’s right. They should go to Charlie’s. Maxie says she wants to give Robert her condolences first. It was so sudden. He must be devastated.
Sonny tells Felix, it’s great having him there for his dad, and Felix says he’s glad to help. Sonny says he knows it’s tough, putting in the extra time, but Felix says he’s glad Sonny reached out. He’s always liked Mike, and if his being there makes Mike more comfortable, that’s the reason he became a nurse in the first place. Sonny says, he appreciates it, and goes back into Mike’s room. He tells Mike, he’s learning things about him all the time. He likes his pillows firm, but not too firm. Now he’s learned Mike likes applesauce. Who knew? He’s tired of thinking about what Mike wants, and needs Mike to tell him what he needs. How does he want to live the remaining time he has left? Does he want the doctors to take every measure they can to save his life, or does he want them to do nothing? Mike’s got to tell him something. What does he want? Mike motions him closer, and says, Yankees.
Carly tells Jax, she gets that Nina has unresolved issues about babies and motherhood, but Nina will be to blame if Nelle gets her hands on Wiley. Jax asks if that’s not a little unfair. Carly says she knows Jax is thinking about what she said regarding Nina not being a mother, but she thinks Nina paints a romantic picture of motherhood. Just because you carry and deliver a baby, doesn’t mean you become a good and selfless person. Look at Nelle; there’s been no maternal bonding. Jax says Carly admitted she wasn’t good or selfless until she had Michael. Isn’t that what changed her? Carly says it did, but it wasn’t like a magic wand. She didn’t go to bed a gold-digger, and wake up a Madonna. She had to make choices, and had to give up things she liked. She hated it, and had to learn to sacrifice things she loved when she realized it was the best thing for her kids. Nelle never learned that. That’s why she’s dangerous.
Nelle wishes she knew how to convince Nina she’s changed. Nina says, if she agreed to testify – and it’s a big if – the only thing she could say is, in the brief time Nelle has worked there, she’s been a good employee. She can’t vouch for Nelle’s motive or character, or how she’d be as a mother. Nelle says they’ve talked about it. She told Nina what she’s up against, and why she needed the job. She knows what happened with Sasha still hurts, and how badly Nina wanted it. That’s how she feels about Wiley. Don’t believe Brad. She didn’t give the baby away; she believed he died. Now she has an incredible second chance to hold her son. Nina says, Nelle is good; she’ll give her that. Nelle says, she’s not good. Everyone knows that, but she has a chance to do better for Wiley. It’s a start, and maybe one day, she’ll grow into someone people admire, like Nina, but she can’t unless somebody gives her a second chance.
Sasha says she had no idea Michael would be there, and tells Chase, let’s go. Brook says, don’t leave on their account. Not that they care. Chase says it doesn’t involve Brook, but Brook says Michael has a custody hearing tomorrow, and can’t risk beating up a cop. She’s in a different boat. Chase tells Sasha, let’s go, and Brook says she was willing to give Sasha the benefit of the doubt; a bad girl who turned her life around because of the love of a good man. It was a fairytale she was willing to buy into, but Sasha isn’t just bad. She’s rotten to the core. A liar and a user; one step above Nelle. Chase tells her to stop, and she says, and him. A cheating cheater who cheats. Willow found out her baby died, and he jumps into bed with her supposed friend. Sasha says if Brook’s got a problem, bring it to her. Brook says Sasha’s got it.
Kristina agrees with Molly. Her love life has been like the Titanic, where she’s reaching for a life preserver that isn’t there. But she doesn’t want to feel desperate. She wants a relationship like Molly and TJ have. Molly says, the one where she cheated on TJ, and Kristina tried to convince her not to tell him? Sam doesn’t want to talk about Jason, TJ, or anyone else. All she wants is a drink right now. She looks at Alexis, and says, sorry. Kristina says their mom has been sober for years, and Molly says she doesn’t think mentioning a drink will send Alexis to a bar. Alexis says, since they’re being brutally honest, she’ll tell them what she’s already told Sam. She’s only been sober for two weeks.
Maxie tells Robert, she’s so shocked. It doesn’t matter how long they were apart. She knows how much he cared. Peter tells Mac and Felicia, sorry for their loss, and Felicia says that’s kind of him. Robert says, the late Holly Sutton. How does that happen? It makes it better when you say late. She’s not really dead, just late. Anna says he’s not being fair to Peter, and Robert says Peter always means well. He laughs, and says, Henrik, how is it that such a remarkable woman like Holly’s got to die, and a completely unadulterated dirtbag like you gets to live?
Sonny and Mike watch a baseball game on TV, and Sonny says, Mike’s got a hit. Felix says, it’s a nice father and son moment. Sonny says he asked his father what he wanted. He was thinking about life and death, but Mike said, the Yankees. They all love baseball, especially Dante. They didn’t raise him, but it’s in his DNA. Even with everything Mike’s forgotten, he remembers baseball. He wishes Dante was here. He’d love it as much as Mike.
Jax tells Carly, he knows Nina seems to be wavering, but she cares more about Wiley’s welfare than Nelle’s. Trust her to do the right thing. Carly hopes he’s right. On top of the hearing in the morning, there’s a lot going on with Mike. Sonny has some difficult decisions to make. Jax says he’s sorry, and she says, that’s why she was hoping to uncover something that would lock up the case for Michael getting custody, and it would all be over with Nelle. He says he would help in any way he can with either situation. He’d drop everything, and hopes she knows that. She says she does, because Jax is the guy he is. He’s the good guy who wants to swoop in to save the day, but he can’t. He says, as far as the custody hearing goes, he’ll talk to Nina. She thanks him, and says, if Nina will listen to anyone, it’s him.
Brook steps out of the ring, and tells Sasha that they can go ten rounds, but Sasha says she’s not like Lulu, who will back off after a few insults. Chase tells Sasha not to stoop to Brook’s level; let’s go. Michael suggests they all cool down, and Brook says, what was Sasha thinking? She’s obviously too shallow to appreciate Michael’s loyalty and commitment, but he’s the shining star of the Quartermaine family. He’s got prestige and connections, and a bottomless bank account. Sasha could have been sitting pretty. Instead, she jumped into bed with Chase. Brook punches Sasha in the face, and is like, oops.
Molly says she’s sorry, and asks if Alexis is okay. Alexis says, she’s fine. She had one drink, and went straight to an AA meeting. Molly asks, what happened? and Alexis says, maybe her and Neil testifying at the hearing. Maybe there was too much pressure, and she took the easy way out. Sam says, that’s not what happened. She went off on Alexis, and said some things she shouldn’t have. Alexis says, Sam didn’t make her drink; she did. If she drank every time they exchanged words, she wouldn’t have a liver. She’s ready for whatever comes. Kristina asks if she means Neil, and Alexis says she’s not sure.
Felicia tells Robert, no more beer; coffee. Peter says he’s going to get out of everyone’s way, and steps outside. Maxie tells Robert, she loves him, and knows the pain he’s experiencing, but he doesn’t get to talk to Peter like that. Robert asks why Holly had to die. He knows in his heart that she wasn’t ready; it wasn’t her time. Mac says they’ve all lost people, and Felicia says, no one ever thinks it’s the right time. Out in the hallway, Peter sends a text: Need answers. NOW. Maxie comes out, and says, sorry. It’s the grief and a lot of beer talking. Peter asks if she’s telling him not to take it personally, and she says, with Robert, it’s always personal, but it’s not Peter’s fault Holly died.
Sonny says, are you kidding him? He was off by a mile. He sees Mike is asleep. Carly comes in, and says she can hear Sonny down the hall. He says his dad wanted to watch the Yankees.
Nina tells Nelle, before she even considers testifying on her behalf, Nelle has to do more than promise to be a better person. A child is at stake. A child who’s been taken away from the only parent he knows. Nelle says that’s why she needs Nina. Michael’s family is going to raise Wiley to think that she didn’t want or deserve him. He’ll wonder why his mom is a stranger. She needs him to know she didn’t turn her back on him. Will Nina give her a second chance? Help her out? There’s a knock at the door, and Jax asks if he’s interrupting.
Brook tells Chase, she’s calling a Ride Share. She’s going to check on Michael at the hospital, and make sure he doesn’t do something stupid, like forgive Sasha. He says she can’t go around punching people, and she says, it was an accident. He wonders why there are always accidents when she’s there, and she says, look around him. It’s a boxing gym. People are supposed to throw punches. Don’t blame her for his bad mood, and that he lost his girlfriend because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.
Felicia tells Robert that he can use some more coffee. Robert says, fine, and Mac says, drink up. Robert tells Anna, it’s not like he said anything bad, and she says he told Peter that he should feel guilty for being alive. He says that’s not the way he meant to say it, and Mac asks if there’s a right way. Felicia says Robert owes Peter an apology. Holly would want that. Maxie comes back, and Anna asks where Peter is. Maxie says, he needed some air. She doesn’t blame him.
Outside, a guy approaches Peter. He says he got there as fast as he could. What’s the problem? Peter slams him up against the side of the building, and the guy asks, what’s wrong? Peter says he told him to distract Robert, not kill Holly. The guy says, they were monitoring her, but had nothing to do with the incident. Peter says, if he finds out the guy is lying… and they guy swears it’s the truth. Peter lets him go, and he asks if Peter still wants them to do something to distract Robert. Peter says, there’s no need now. Fate seems to have done it for him.
Carly and Sonny go into the hallway. Mike says, the Yankees were Mike’s idea. He told Mike it was Dante’s birthday, and Mike mentioned the Yankees. He connected the two things. Carly says, maybe Mike was telling Sonny what he wanted to hear, and Sonny says, could be, but at least his dad connected it. He wanted to talk about the DNR, and asked Mike if he wanted the doctors to let him go or take extra measures. That’s when he brought up the Yankees. That says his dad isn’t ready to give up.
Jax asks if Nina is done for the night, and she says she is. Nelle says, actually, they were in the middle of a conversation, but Nina says, Jax is right. Nelle has a big day tomorrow, and should get some sleep. Nelle thanks Nina for listening, and hopes Nina thinks about what she said. Jax says, goodnight, Nelle, and Nelle grabs her stuff and leaves. Jax asks what Nelle wanted, and Nina says Nelle wanted her to be a character witness. He says, wow; she’s shameless. Nina doesn’t respond, and he says, she isn’t seriously considering it, is she?
Chase tells Brook, she needs to clean up her own life before she points fingers at him. She asks if it makes him uncomfortable; her pointing out that he’s a lying, sleazy cheat who betrayed her cousin. It’s a funny thing about the Quartermaines. They talk about each other, but close ranks when an interloper like Sasha. Chase says, what they do behind closed doors is her business, but… He takes out his ticket book, and says, disturbing the peace is his. He’s citing her for public disturbance. Be grateful it’s not misdemeanor assault. She can pay online or in person. He hands her the ticket, and she rips it up, saying that’s what she thinks of his ticket.
Maxie tells Mac, she knows how much he loved Holly too. Peter joins them, and Mac asks if he’s feeling better. Peter says, very much so, and Mac asks him to overlook Robert’s words; it’s the grief talking. Peter says he understands. What happened is tragic. Felicia tells Anna, when the shock wears off, they need to have a proper memorial. Not too proper; Holly loved a good time. She asks Anna, what is it? She’s been quiet all night. Anna says she read the report from the WSB about the incident where Holly was killed. Felicia wonders why the WSB is involved, and Anna says, Holly did contract work for them. Felicia asks if Holly was killed while she was working, and Anna says, that’s classified, but let it suffice to say, she saw enough to believe there’s more to the story.
Sonny tells Carly, he’s not ready to make a decision on how Mike should live his final days. He’ll try to talk to Mike tomorrow. Carly asks if he wants to turn off the TV, so Mike can sleep, but he says, leave it on, in case he wakes up. He looks in on Mike one more time, and they leave.
Brook calls Chase a glorified meter maid, and he tells her that she shouldn’t have done that. She asks if he’s going to write her another ticket for littering, and he says, no. He takes out his handcuffs, and says, she’s under arrest – again.
Nelle sits at the MetroCourt bar, and calls Martin. She says he’s going to be proud. She thinks she may have found a character witness that will make the case a slam dunk. Um… hardly. Not only does Nina have a past of her own, wasn’t she just bamboozled by Sasha? That doesn’t exactly speak to her credibility as a judge of character.
Nina tells Jax, she didn’t tell Nelle that she would testify for her. Jax says she didn’t tell Nelle that she wouldn’t. She says she has a lot think about between now and the morning. he says he admires her compassion, and respects her opinion, but if she gives Nelle the benefit of the doubt, Wiley will end up paying the price. Can she live with that?
Kristina says, Neil lost his license because he and Alexis were involved? Alexis’s phone rings, and she says, it’s Diane; she has to take it. She asks Diane if it’s good news or bad news. She can’t talk; she’s with the girls. They’ll talk tomorrow. Sam asks, what happened? and Alexis says she’s been disbarred.
Tomorrow, Trina tells Portia that she doesn’t trust Jordan, Sasha tells Michael to stop being so nice, and Sonny says the plan is already in motion.
🤽🏻♀️ Since Andy Cohen hates me, RHOBH was on at 8 pm with no rerun encore performance tonight. Instead, Summer House had a two-hour finale – a final episode, followed by a reunion at home, doubling as Watch What Happens Live. Why those awful people should be allowed a two-hour block of air time is beyond me. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention, but they had some huge party that I think was supposed to have a rave theme. Unfortunately, this stupidity is being stretched out, with a Secrets Revealed special next week. I don’t want to know.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
It was the weekend of Teddi’s retreat, and she said she wasn’t tolerating any bullsh*t. Sutton decided to apologize to Teddi and go to the retreat, but Teddi acted like the unappreciative jerk she is, and was annoyed. It’s not surprising that she didn’t understand why telling people she didn’t care if they came or not caused a negative reaction. Her own feelings take up so much space, she doesn’t have room to decipher anyone else’s. Dorit was late, which didn’t sit well with Kyle, especially when she saw Dorit’s Instagram. Apparently, her tardiness was due to getting hair and makeup done so she could squeeze in a Glam Barbie photo shoot. Dorit screeched that she had a life, as though no one else did and commitments don’t matter. Oh, wait. That’s right. They don’t to Dorit. To Teddi’s credit, she did explain that she’d been put on the defensive when LisaR asked what if someone came and caused sh*t (the sh*t being caused wasn’t specified). She said it shifted everything for her. Although I stand by my theory that she was breaking up with them before anyone broke up with her, because she’s so insecure and afraid of failure.
After a boxing exercise, where Sutton looked lost, there was I have no idea what, then lunch, and free time in the afternoon for spa treatments, journaling, or whatever. Yeah. Like any of these women are going to write about their feelings when they could be getting a massage. I wouldn’t either. And I like to write. In the evening, there was an hour of meditation, and in her interview, Dorit said that she’d rather go to the DMV for a month than do an hour of meditation. Wow. Either she has one easy time at the DMV, or she can’t sit quietly for an hour. I can’t clear my mind either, but there’s no time for a nap like at meditation. When Dorit said she was going to be leaving early, Kyle called her out, saying she’d been hours late, skipped meditation, and now wanted to leave early. Dorit again said she had a life, adding an effing in there for emphasis. In Kyle’s interview, she said Dorit was shallow and selfish. Erika said it best and simplest when, in her interview, she thought they should just admit no one wants to be there. Although there are two different camps here. The ones who don’t want to be there, but they’re actually being supportive, keeping that to themselves, and participating; and Dorit, who makes it clear she doesn’t want to be there, and pretends she’s being supportive. Actually, there was a third camp. The ones who were supportive from afar.
Amelia was back from NYC, and feeling happier for it. She wanted to get an evaluation. LisaR said, when she’d seen Amelia in the city, she thought Amelia was in trouble. Amelia said, when things get difficult, her decision making tactics shut down. LisaR told Amelia that she barely made it through three months of college, then proceeded to gesture wildly to the paparazzi. Amelia said she was a handful. That’s one word for it.
Garcelle took her sons out for dinner, one of whom informed her he wanted Gucci. She told him, get a job, and he said he was eleven. She was like, exactly. So you don’t need Gucci. So far, I like Garcelle. In her interview, she said she grew up in a strict family with a Black mama who was not playing. She told her sons that they weren’t getting Gucci anything. It’s obnoxious.
Denise was over living in Malibu. She had PTSD from the fire, but didn’t want to move and take the kids out of school. She was getting ready to have everyone over for a not typical Beverly Hills dinner party in the backyard. They were having pizza made in a pizza oven, and a sundae bar that sounded magical. An ice sculpture carved into a huge diamond, like the ones they hold in the opening, was delivered. This thing looked absolutely beautiful after it got dark, and there were lights on it.
Apparently, Dorit had been on repeat, talking about Kyle sharing a bed with Teddi, and Kyle wondered if Dorit was jealous of their friendship. Dorit might be jealous of their more well-behaved children, since Jagger wailed and whined when Dorit had to leave the house. If that’s here effing life, no thanks.
When the women sat down for dinner, sexual exploits were discussed, with Garcelle saying she kissed a girl and liked it when she was a model, and Erika saying she had been part of a threesome with a couple (before Tom). Denise was concerned about the kids overhearing, and in Erika’s interview, she wondered why pearls were being clutched. In Denise’s interview, she says she’s open sexually – we flashed back to last season’s happy ending conversation – but that didn’t mean she wanted her kids hearing it.
Dorit said it was a pattern that Kyle had blind defensiveness when it came to Teddi, and in her interview, said Kyle and Teddi were a package deal. If you had an issue with one, you had an issue with the other, and she was frustrated with it. Kyle was mad at her for being late, when it was Teddi’s event, and Teddi wasn’t mad. Kyle said she was late to do her Glam Barbie look for working out, when she wasn’t going to work out. In her interview, Dorit wondered why TF Kyle cared. Kyle said she didn’t think Dorit was genuine, and Denise asked them to cool it when the kids were around. Erika took up somewhat for Dorit, explaining that Dorit thought Kyle blindly rushed to Teddi’s defense. In Kyle’s interview, she said she lost one of her closest friends defending Dorit, and Dorit had a selective memory. LisaR said Kyle was the same way with her, and defending her sister. Although, that was a whole different thing. LisaR was talking real smack, and it was untrue. Kyle insisted that wasn’t the case, and the text said, to be continued…
Next time, Kyle walks, and Denise gets into it with Kyle. I’m starting to notice, I’m making this more of a personality analysis than a recap.
🛥 FYI, Below Deck Mediterranean will be back this summer.
Whether you’re working from home or hardly working, know that this too, has an end. Stay on track, stay imaginative, and stay away from those cookies. Here, have a balloon.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
It’s going to be one of those weeks. I missed the beginning. In a nutshell, Ava wailed to Franco about Nikolas; Nelle met with Martin, who said the burden would be on her in the courtroom; and Sam clapped back at Kristina.
Elizabeth tells Nikolas, find someone else to confide in; she’s busy. He says he never meant for Hayden to stay away, and she says he uses people. He lies to their faces. His son grieved for him for two years, and instead of welcoming him when he returned, Nikolas lost him. Nikolas says Spencer sent him a letter saying he’s willing to explore their relationship again, and she says, that’s great news. His kid worships him, but she’d said it would take time for Spencer to heal. He tells her, don’t pop the champagne cork just yet. There’s a condition. He has to leave Ava. She says, that’s not a condition; it’s a get out of jail free card. Get rid of Ava, and bring Spencer home.
Franco tells Ava, Nikolas doesn’t respect or love her, and she says she doesn’t need his love and respect. His fortune is a different matter. He says she owns the penthouse, and the gallery, which is very successful. She says, none of that is Cassadine Island. They have properties all over the world, a centuries old fortune, and a prominent family name. He gets it. She wants to be queen of the castle. Find a real prince, and dump the frog. She says they have to discuss where she should hang the portrait. Over the fireplace seems cliché. She starts to babble, and he says he knows the real reason she married Nikolas.
On the phone, Carly tells Michael, Diane is thoroughly prepared to prove he’s the better parent. Nelle can try to con the judge, but it won’t work. The truth will come out.
Nina tells Jax, there’s nothing worse than being caught in the nightmare of a custody battle. It’s more difficult when the parent adores and is good for the child. He says, Valentin falls short on morals, ethics, and scruples, but she says Charlotte will make him a better person. He’s crazy about her. Jax says she’s a softie, and she says, because she’s willing to give Valentin the benefit of the doubt when it comes to Charlotte? Carly knocks on the door, and Nina says, it’s a bad time. What’s going on? Carly says, Wiley’s custody hearing is tomorrow, and she wonders if Nina has anything they can use against Nelle.
Nelle asks Martin why she’s paying so much money to him, if the case depends on her. He says she hasn’t had the most stable time in Port Charles, or anywhere else. She says they’re talking now, not the past. She has a respectable job at a famous magazine, not that she needs the money. She has a sale document from the purchase of the cutest house the judge has ever seen. Martin says, it looks like she put the money from the sale of her ELQ stock to good use. She says she’s ready to fight. It’s not looking good for Carly. Michael reminds her that she’s challenging Michael, not Carly, but she says Carly is pulling the strings, but it’s not enough. She’s going to lose because Michael just suffered a shattering breakup with Sasha. She left him for one of his best friends. Martin says, and she didn’t leak it to The Invader. She says, Wiley’s mother is not mean-spirited or malicious.He’s going to tell them. He asks her if she can keep a partner, or do they all die on her?
Ava tells Franco, they need to focus on the portrait. It needs to be hung before the gala. He says she can call it what she likes, but he knows it’s a certified nightmare pretending to be a gala. She asks why he thinks he knows her, and he says he knows what he sees in his eyes when she sits for him. She’s living with the consequences of her choices. In some weird way, her choices are motivated by love, and now she’s committed to a loveless situation with Nikolas. He gets it. She’s punishing herself for Kiki’s death.
Elizabeth tells Nikolas that Spencer has always been wise beyond his years. Look how smart he is now. It’s the perfect incentive for Nikolas to ditch Ava. Getting ride of her will take him a long way to turning into the good guy he is. He says he’s not a good guy, and she says, he was to her. He says he’s a Cassadine. If he divorces Ava, he loses everything; it’s in the agreement he signed. She asks if having Spencer back in his life wouldn’t be worth it, and he says he dreams about him and Spencer. Hanging out, laughing at nothing, just enjoying each other’s company. She says, his dream is coming true. Get rid of Ava. He says, it’s not that simple, and she says, because of the money? There’s got to be another reason. He doesn’t actually have feelings for Ava, does he?
Sam says, how dare Kristina? She has no idea what she’s talking about. Kristina says Sam and Jason are danger junkies. It’s what brought them together, and sustains them. It’s the day to day they can’t stand. Sam says the only thing she’s wanted is to keep her family safe, and Kristina says, that’s what she wanted with Drew. When Jason came back, they were ride or die again. They’re like Romeo and Juliet. Alexis says, enough, and Molly says, Sam and Jason’s love is real. Kristina says, no question Jason would die for Sam. He just can’t live for her.
Nelle tells Martin, Zack had an unfortunate accident, and he says, tell that to Diane. She says she pled guilty to spare the family more pain. He says he’s getting out the violin, and she says, while she was in prison, she prevented Ryan’s escape, and he almost took her good kidney. He says, she’s good; he’ll give her that. But if he brings up Michael’s bad relationships, hers will be in question as well. She says Shiloh was the love of her life, and his life was tragically cut short by Sam, who’s a good friend of Michael’s family. She cries herself to sleep every night because she’s still grieving. They made her a widow. He says he’ll use the argument, and asks if she’s come up with any character witnesses who can attest to her moral character. Who can testify as to her integrity, humanity, and compassion.
Nina says Nelle hasn’t worked for her for very long, and she hates to admit it, but she’s been an exemplary employee. Carly asks, what’s going on? Nina said she hired Nelle to keep an eye on her and help prove she’s an unfit parent. Nina says she can’t give Carly what she doesn’t have. Carly says Nelle refused to consent to Wiley’s surgery, and he’s going to need another one in six months so he can lead a happy, healthy life. If it’s up to Nelle, he won’t get it. Nina asks if Carly has ever tried listening to Nelle without jumping down her throat. Wouldn’t Wiley be better served if Michael compromised? No two parents hated each other more than Lulu and Valentin, but they put their differences aside for Charlotte’s sake, and Charlotte is better off. Jax says, sharing custody with Nelle wouldn’t be the best situation for Wiley, and Nina asks if the love of both parents isn’t the best situation. Carly asks if Nina is telling her that Nelle won her over.
Nikolas tells Elizabeth, he has anger, frustration, and profound distaste for Ava, and she asks if that isn’t enough to kick Ava out of his life. He says she doesn’t know what it’s cost him, surviving the shooting, and the fall. How long it took to heal, and planning his return. It was meticulously thought out. He was determined to keep alive the need to reclaim his name and Spencer’s birthright. She says, Spencer doesn’t care about his birthright; he just cares about Nikolas. He won’t be out in the street. 10% is a lot of money. He says, not enough for the way Spencer expects to live, and she asks if he’s talked to Spencer. She takes out her phone, and tells Nikolas, call him now. Ask what he’d rather have; his money or his dad?
Ava says Franco is wrong. He says she’s sabotaged any chance of her own happiness because she blames herself for hurting Kiki. Ava says she did hurt Kiki, over and over. She’ll never forgive herself, but it has nothing to do with this. Franco says she didn’t kill Kiki; Ryan did. But she’d rather fill her head with thoughts about how to deal with her creepy husband, than deal with thoughts of Kiki. Ava tells him to stop caring about her. Why doesn’t he go back to being the psychopath he used to be?
Nelle tells Martin, Carly locked her out on the hospital roof, while Carly’s mother forged a document consenting to unnecessary surgery on her son. He says, so she has no one to vouch for her character? She says she was at the hospital every day. The nurses saw her, and can attest to her maternal instincts. She even brought them donuts. He says he was thinking of someone she’s known longer than a month. Michael is going to have a veritable parade of character witnesses that are pillars of the community and upstanding citizens.
Nina says, maybe Nelle is trying to be a better person, and be the best mother she can. Carly says Nelle is a pathological liar, incapable of accepting kindness or showing love or affection. She’ll leave Wiley emotionally damaged like she is. Nina says, what about mental illness? and Carly says, she left Michael to die, and convinced Brad to switch babies. She’s a sociopath who’s totally playing Nina. Jax says he thinks Nelle is taking advantage, and Nina says, what if people judged Carly on who she used to be? What if she was kept away from her kids because of her past mistakes? What if no one had stood by her or spoke up for her? What kind of person would she be now?
Sam asks Kristina, what’s that supposed to mean? Alexis says she’d like to know too. Molly says, Jason put everything on the line to save Kristina, and she repeatedly said she was grateful. Kristina says, that’s not the point. Sam asks what her point is. Kristina has always supported their relationship, and Jason loves Kristina. How can Kristina say he wants to be away from her? Kristina says, their relationship is always hotter when they’ve been forced apart. If there was no drama, they wouldn’t survive.
Elizabeth tells Nikolas to call Spencer. Or is he afraid of what the answer might be? Nikolas says he’s not certain. When he saw Spencer, he said he didn’t care about the money, but that’s a lie. Spencer was born into the lifestyle he’s enjoyed since he was a child. There’s no way he’d give it up for this. She says, one thing she’s learned parenting Cameron is, you can’t make assumptions about teen boys. Cameron hated Franco, and now they’re each other’s biggest fans. Nikolas says, and it has nothing to do with Cameron’s mother being in love with Franco? She says, nice change in subject, and he asks if it’s working. He says he is curious about her and Franco. How did such two totally different people find happiness? She says, it took a while. Franco is kind, funny, and stood by her when she was the town pariah. They connected over art. Or at least they used to.
Franco tells Ava he’s not a psycho anymore, even if her invitation says otherwise. She says he had a brain tumor to blame. She doesn’t have that excuse. He says she doesn’t want that. He still has to deal with the people he’s hurt in his head every day. It’s not something that goes away. She asks how he copes, and he says, Elizabeth, her boys, he makes art, and helps patients through art therapy. She says, a healthy way to deal with the pain. Why didn’t she think of that? He says she’s not someone who does healthy, and she laughs. She says she prefers to play to her strengths. She’s not good at finding love, but she knows how to make money. Franco says, she does things like exploit his bad boy genius artist reputation. She says, he’s okay with that, isn’t he?
Nelle tells Martin, she has no family; her childhood was terrible. A good lawyer can make that work in her favor. He says he’ll pour it out, and she says she just wanted to give her son the life she never had. He says the judge will want to know the mother has someone in case of an emergency, the way the Quartermaines and Corinthoses came to Michael’s aid about Wiley’s heart condition. It’s going to be hard to convince a judge that a loving mother would prevent that. Every specialist agrees it improves the quality of life. Too bad she had no one to lean on when she had to make that decision; a close friend who could give her wise counsel and emotional support. She says, so he’s telling her that if she doesn’t have a dozen people saying what a good person she is, she can lose Wiley? He says, to be honest, the best she can hope for is shared custody.
Jax asks Carly and Nina to dial it down. He agrees custody fights are a nightmare, but Josslyn was fortunate because they stopped fighting before she was old enough to remember, but even when they were at odds, he not worried Carly would hurt Josslyn, or not allow her to be given medical attention to spite him. Nina says, they changed. Feelings change, people grow, and Josslyn is better for having the love of both parents. Why can’t Carly learn from the past, and give Nelle a little break? Jax says she can’t compare the two situations, and Carly says she never used Josslyn’s health as collateral, and risked her heath and safety to punish the family. That’s what Nelle did. There’s more to motherhood than biology. Carly guesses Nina doesn’t understand because she’s never been a mother.
Nelle asks why she’s paying Martin so much, if all he can get her is shared custody? She’s been telling Michael, he’ll be lucky if he sees the kid once a month. Martin says, it’s not going to help if she calls Wiley the kid before the judge, and she had no business threatening Michael. She says she thought it was a fact. She wants a refund on the large advance she paid him. He says that’s not happening, so she might as well hear him out and get her money’s worth. Michael’s family is a wise bunch, and if she’ll forgive the pun, they’re going to pull out everything to ensure Michael gets sole custody. Nelle asks if he isn’t even a tiny bit prepared. He says, he will be. The question is, if she gets custody, shared or otherwise, is she prepared to be a mother?
Franco tells Ava, he used, manipulated, and hurt a lot of people. Ava says, it helped sell paintings. Talent can only get you so far. Franco says, thanks, and they laugh. She says, it’s true though. People are fascinated by his criminal past. He provides the required talent, and she’ll remind the public who he was. He says he’s okay with that for the most part, but he’s not so sure Elizabeth is on board. She says, it’s not about Elizabeth, but he says, it’s all about Elizabeth. They had an argument, and he said something stupid that hurt her feelings. She says, they have a strong marriage. She knows Elizabeth will forgive him. Let her bring the bad boy in him back to the art world; the one bright spot in this foolish, ridiculous, awful life she’s created for herself.
Nikolas says, that’s why Elizabeth snapped at him; this is about Franco. Did he say something about her art? He’s not going away until she tells him. She says they received an invitation to Ava’s unveiling, and she wasn’t thrilled that Ava is playing up Franco’s criminal history. He says, she loves to create controversy, and Elizabeth tells him, Franco said, that’s how the art world works, but she wouldn’t know because she’s not a real artist. He says, don’t listen to that condescending fool, and she tells him, watch it. Franco is still her husband. He says he watched her find her talent and solace. If her life had taken a different turn, and she’d been supported and developed her craft, her vision would have put Franco to shame. Great art reflects the soul of the artist, and she’s never afraid to show her soul to the world.
Nelle asks, how dare Martin accuse her of being a bad mom? He tells her, that’s not what he said. Fighting custody is easy; raising children is hard. She says she carried Wiley for nine months inside her. She felt him move, and gave birth alone, with no one there to help. If that doesn’t prepare her for motherhood, she doesn’t know what does. He suggests she read some blogs, and buy a baby book or two. Tell the judge about the few moments she spent with her baby before he was cruelly stolen. And don’t wear waterproof mascara. He wants the judge to have a front row seat to her crying her eyes out. She says, anything else? and he says, a character witness. Preferably not one in prison. He’s going to pull out all the stops to convince the judge she should have Wiley. She says he’d better. He doesn’t want to let her down.
Carly says she knows Nina still feels a connection to her baby, and believes it’s instinctive that connection would make her the best mother. Carly is sure Nina would have been, because she’s a good person, and has it in her. Nelle doesn’t. Nina asks if Carly doesn’t think she imagines every day what she missed, and Carly says, then use it. Remind herself what Nelle did when she handed over the baby to Brad, then told Michael their baby died. Nina says, maybe Nelle is telling the truth. Brad lied about everything. What if he placed the dead baby in Nelle’s arms when she was unconscious? Carly says, Nelle was very conscious. She knew what she was doing, and didn’t care about Wiley. She only cared about hurting Michael. Think about that, and tell her that she doesn’t remember one incident that will help Michael’s custody case against Nelle. Carly leaves, and Nelle asks if Jax thinks she’s wrong, and she’s misunderstanding Nelle’s motives.
Carly waits for the elevator. The doors open, and she and Nelle face each other.
Sam asks if Kristina doesn’t think she wants a quiet life with Jason and the kids. It’s all she dreams about, but something always gets in the way. Molly says, like Shiloh. Sam and Jason had to pretend they weren’t together. Alexis says, Sam went to prison to protect Kristina. Kristina says, and as long as she stays away from Jason, Sam is home free. But she can’t help herself. She’ll find a way to break the rules, sneak around, and spice it up. And Jason appreciates it, when he’s not taking care of Carly and her dad. How many times has she seen him busy cleaning up their messes, while Sam is home taking care of the kids? Her opinion still stands. Jason would die for Sam, but his first priority is Sonny and Carly.
Nikolas doubts Elizabeth will ever trust him again, and says he has no right to ask her to. Elizabeth says he can change who he is now, and be who he used to be when they were friends. She thinks he should give it a chance. He says, as her almost friend, he believes she should think about painting again. She says Franco got her some art supplies for their anniversary, and he says, so Franco isn’t a completely insensitive fool. She says, maybe she’s too sensitive, and he says, a true artist should be. She says, as his almost friend, she thinks he should call Spencer.
Ava says she’s trying to help Franco. He did the same for her just now. He says he heard a bunch of denial. She says she’s not accepting the help because she knows he’s right. She knows why she married Nikolas, but maybe having the understanding will make her life more bearable. Franco says, it would be even more bearable without Nikolas, but she says, they’re talking about him. Apologize, and bring Elizabeth flowers. He has a good marriage. Make it better. He says, she does like flowers. All he cares about is making her happy, and the boys too. She says, at least she’ll know she did something right, and he says glad he could help. She kisses his cheek, and says, more than he knows.
Nelle asks if Carly was trash talking her to Nina. Carly says, she was trying to, but Nina seems to think she’s Nelle’s friend. Too bad Nelle will betray her, like she did everyone else. Carly gets in the elevator, and the doors close.
Jax tells Nina, Carly made some good points about Nelle, and Nina says she’s aware of Nelle’s dark side, but she’s seen Nelle’s vulnerable side. She can’t explain it, but she doesn’t think it’s an act. Nelle listens outside the door. Jax says he thinks Nelle only cares about herself, and Nina says, maybe to change she needs a person who believes in her. Maybe she’s that person who will bring out the best in Nelle. Nelle knocks, and comes in. Jax tells Nina, be careful. He’s going to catch up with Carly.
Jax leaves, and Nelle says, sorry. She hopes she wasn’t interrupting anything. Nina says, no. They were done. Nelle says she took care of the errands Nina asked her to. She thanks Nina for standing up for her, and Nina says, don’t make her regret it. Nelle says, she won’t. In fact, she was going to ask Nina for a favor; a pretty big one. Nina asks what it is, and Nelle says, Wiley’s custody hearing is tomorrow. She has no one to vouch for her; Carly made sure of that. She was wondering if Nina would be willing to testify on her behalf.
Tomorrow, Robert tells Peter to get out, Sonny asks Mike what he needs, and Sasha is at odds with Brook.
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Susan Lucci will be having a live chat on May 7th at 1 pm ET.
At SUR, Danica tells Ariana that Jax is going to be an hour late. She’s not sure how he gets away with half the sh*t he does. Dayna asks how Scheana’s weekend was, and Scheana says she and Brett went to Palm Springs to do her music video. It’s an R&B song called One More Time; it’s a baby making song, and different from what she’s done. She quickly adds that he’d agreed to it months ago. In Dayna’s interview, she says, this is the second guy she’s been interested in that Scheana has taken to Palm Springs. WTF goes on in Palm Springs? Scheana shows Dayna some raw footage, which is basically soft core porn, and borderline on the soft. Dayna asks if she’s topless, and Scheana says she may have been. In her interview, Dayna tells us she literally doesn’t know what to say, she’s so uncomfortable. She tells Scheana, that’s a video. Good for her.
Tom and Jax bring their athletic shoes to be cleaned at a place Tom found online. Jax asks how they do it, but the cleaner says he can’t disclose their method. In Jax’s interview, he says he had no sudden urge to hang out with Tom. He hasn’t been a great friend. We flash back to where Jax was being a d*ck to Tom, and Jax says he needed his sneakers cleaned, so why not let Tom pay for the gas? Jax still has the tags on his shoes because he thinks it makes him seem younger. He asks if that’s cool, but the cleaner, who is younger, says he always takes off the tags. Jax’s credit card doesn’t go through, and he says it happens all the time. We see several clips of that, and he gives the cleaner another card. He tells Tom about helping Kristen by cutting the grass. He says she still loves Carter, and told him Carter knows about other guys she’s hooked up with. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors? Tom says things are great at his house; better than ever. Jax says he notices Ariana give Tom backhanded comments, but Tom says they never name call. He suggests Jax take a second sometimes, and not get too responsive. Jax admits he’s bad at it. In his interview, Tom says, when Jax feels bored, he picks someone or something to focus his anger and attention on, so he feels important or better about himself. Tom says he’s trying to help out as a friend. Jax says, no one’s perfect.
Brittany meets Stassi at the dog park, and puts sunglasses on her dog. Stassi tells Brittany she thought when she finally got engaged, she’d be a chill bride, but nope. Brittany has the feeling Stassi is going to be double what she was. In Stassi’s interview, she says, people thought she was a monster on her birthday, just wait. The wedding will be a nightmare. They admire each other’s rings, and Stassi asks how annoying Brittany thinks they are. Brittany says, they really are annoying, but eff off; she’s happy. Stassi says when she posted her engagement photo, someone said they were never so excited to see a couple get married. Jax replied, thanks a lot. Brittany says, Jax is an attention whore, but he’s happy for them. She says she knows Stassi and Kristen are on the outs, but she and Jax are having a pool party, and asks if Stassi won’t come if she invites Kristen. Stassi says she’d still come, and Brittany says she worries about her friends not coming. In Brittany’s interview, she says she loves cooking, and cleaning; getting ready and preparing for people to come over. It’s the first time they’re going to have a big group at their new house. Stassi says if she and Kristen can’t get along in normal moments, Kristen can’t be at the big ones. I nod in agreement.
Ariana teaches Dayna how to make drinks. Dayna is dying to bartend. Scheana asks Jax if he wants to see footage from her video, and he says, not really. She asks what’s up his ass? and he says, everyone isn’t honest. Tom and Ariana said he took Kristen’s bait. He thinks something is going on with Tom. He doesn’t really talk about their relationship. In his interview, Jax says he thinks their relationship is a façade. It looks pretty on the outside, but he doesn’t see them happy together, and thinks buying the house was a bad idea. It’s not a normal relationship. He tells Scheana, he thinks Ariana is miserable. Scheana says Ariana is depressed, and Jax says when Ariana doesn’t like something, she says she’s depressed. Ariana invites Dayna to a dinner party she and Tom are having, and Dayna says she might be late. Ariana says, easy breezy. Scheana asks if Jax is going to Max’s beach clean-up. He says they all live in the valley, and have to drive a while to get there. The fumes in the air defeat the purpose.
Lisa goes to Vanderpump Dogs. Puffy! Lala is helping put out merchandise, and Lisa says they have two dogs coming in from Puerto Rico. Lala says she can help with intake, and Lisa says she’s good at intake. Lala says she doesn’t need a cocktail to be vulgar. She’s approaching ten months, and thinks James is steering clear of drinking. She’s proud of him.
Raquel asks where James found the pink silverware, and he says he’s been doing stuff today. She sees flowers on the table, and he says they’re having filet mignon with roasted potatoes and carrots. In his interview, James says he needed to do some serious rebuilding in his relationships, and Raquel is the one who means the most. That’s what life is all about. He tells her about the beach clean-up, and says they were invited. It made his day. He hopes he’s enough without drinking, and she says, of course he is. He’s the ultimate him, and so fun to be around. He says he knows.
Lisa tells Lala that James was aware there was a problem when he lost his job and his friends, but it happened with Raquel, it struck a chord. Lala says she’s happy for James, and Lisa thinks he’s on the road to recovery, but she’s cautiously optimistic.
The group gathers at the beach, and Kristen gives Stassi a kiss. In Stassi’s interview, she says, it’s awkward AF. In Max’s interview, he says he was born Hawaii, and grew up in San Diego, and trash and plastic is bad for the sealife. It means a lot to him to make sure it’s clean, since he swims in it. I live near a beach, and I hear that. I hate seeing all the plastic that washes up, and it makes me wonder just how much doesn’t wash up. Max says they’re going to pick up trash, then hang out. They take paper bags, and comb the beach. In Katie’s interview, she says he picked literally the cleanest beach she’s ever been to. It’s cleaner than her house. Dayna asks Brett how Palm Springs was. Brett says it was a video about having sex, and they were doing fake strokes and pipe laying. At one point, he felt violated, when Scheana was biting his ear, and licking the earwax out of it. Blech. He had to tell her, no. If he’d wanted to, he could have literally had sex with her on camera. She asked if he wanted a BJ, and he said no. It was hard, since he loves them. Dayna says, he’s lying, and he says, no. He’s not leading Scheana on; he was doing her a favor. Dayna asks if he thinks Scheana might see it differently. He has to set boundaries or she’ll be taking advantage. Lala says, it’s hard with Scheana. You say, this isn’t going to happen, but in the back of Scheana’s mind… Dayna says, seriously, there’s a chance. Max says Jax told him the beach clean-up was a dumb idea, and everyone is pissed at him for planning it. It’s dumb, pointless, and nobody cares. Tom says Jax texted him, saying Max is trying to one-up him. They’ve never heard anything like that before. We flash back to Jax telling Tom, he’s the number one guy in the group. Tom thinks Jax is jealous that he’s not the center of attention, and Max says he’s not upset that Jax isn’t there.
In Kristen’s interview, she says her job as an entrepreneur is never done. She’s doing a pop-up event to spread the word about her brand, and sell some shirts. She tells Schwartz that Stassi isn’t coming, and he says Katie isn’t either. Kristen says she’s not surprised, but she was hopeful. Tom texts Jax that everyone is there except him, and Jax texts Tom that he can skip their pool party. Brett tells Max that Scheana said Dayna still had feelings for him, and asks how he feels about her. Stassi tells Dayna that she’s heard Dayna has a love triangle going on. Max tells Brett that he doesn’t want to talk about it, and Brett asks if it would be bad if he hooked up with Dayna. Dayna tells Stassi that she told Brett, she wished she’d met him before Max. In Dayna’s interview, she says, it’s fun and games to be with the emotionally unavailable hot guy, until it’s time to have a real conversation about feelings. Max thanks everyone for coming, and says he appreciates it. Jax texted him that everyone was mad at him for planning it. Brittany tells him, don’t listen, and Katie says, he’s just being an a-hole. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, Jax’s borderline abusive rage texts are a dynamic of the relationship. He’s developed a technique – keep deleting. You’ll sleep in peace, and live happily ever after. He does the same thing with Katie. Brittany tells them, Jax said it was Mercury’s in Gatorade. In Stassi’s interview, she says, Jax will point his finger at anything and anyone to absolve himself of what he’s doing. In Brittany’s interview, she says, it sucks that she feels like she has to answer and take up for Jax when he does these things, but she married him knowing he’s that person. She tells Max that she’ll tell Jax to stop.
Lisa tells Raquel that she checks on James more than her children. We flash back to Lisa video chatting with James, and says she hopes he’s telling the truth. Raquel tells her that they went to a club last night, and James didn’t drink a sip. Lisa tells her, James said he was doing well, but she’s never quite sure if she’s getting the true story. In Lisa’s interview, she says she’s such a mother. She wants to make everything right. She asks Raquel if the relationship is different, and Raquel says it is.
Tom tells Ariana she looks great. In her interview, Ariana says she manages her depression by focusing on the things she loves, and she loves hosting and cooking for people. Scheana arrives with some guy I’ve never seen, who I think is named Shawn. Schwartz, Katie, Max, Brett, and Dayna follow. Tom says, Jax’s rage texts continue. He reads, if you’re talking sh*t about me, don’t bother coming.YOU DID; don’t come. Max says he got a bunch on his way there. Jax asked why Max was crying to his wife, and don’t come to his house. Max says all he did was ask him to come to the beach, and Jax told him that he’s not welcome. Schwartz says, Jax is being a d*ck for no reason; it’s unprovoked. In some bizarre moment of clarity, Scheana says, it’s not about Jax, so he didn’t come. In her interview, she says, his 40th is over, the wedding is over, and no one is paying attention to him, so he has to fight with his friends. It’s classic Jax. Tom thinks they should have a rager there at the same time as the pool party, and teach him a lesson. Katie says her pants got wet thinking about it. Ariana says, dinner is served. Katie says, whoever picks up their phone has to buy a table for Tom and Ariana. Ariana thanks everyone for coming to dinner at their rented table. She’s happy in life, and loves them. Max asks Dayna to come outside, and they sit on the patio. He says he’s not good at expressing how he feels, but it feels weird seeing her and Brett. He’s not telling her not to do this, but he’s saying he clearly still has feelings for her. Dayna says when the next shiny thing comes along, she’ll be in his rear view. He says he’s had his past, but he’s never moved forward like he did with her. She says, then why not keep moving forward? and he says it scared him to have feelings. It’s not an excuse, but he’s scared because he likes her, and sometimes love goes south. In his experience, it hasn’t been good for him. In Dayna’s interview, she says she never stopped caring about Max, but she thinks part of the reason he’s saying this is because Brett is in the picture. She thinks he does care about her, but he makes her feel confused. Max says he wants her to know it’s cool, but it’s also not cool. Dayna asks if he hears himself; she’s getting whiplash. Max says he’s not going to attack them over it, and Dayna asks what she’s supposed to do with that; it’s ambiguous.
At Kristen’s event, she says, everyone get wasted and shop. Scheana tells Brett, they still need one more thing for the video. He asks if she’s going to be making out with his ear or biting him. They literally (taking a drink now) simulated a sexual situation. Scheana says, it’s called acting; don’t take it so seriously. He says he wanted to wear jeans, and she told him to take them off. She asks, who wears clothes in bed? In Brett’s interview, he says he thinks Scheana’s and his ideas of a sexy video are the opposite. He thinks less is more, but she wants to show everybody everything. It’s not sexy. He says he felt uncomfortable, and doesn’t want her to have the wrong idea. She tells him, don’t be cocky; it’s just a video. In Scheana’s interview, she says he knew the concept of the video. She tells Brett that it was awkward for her too, but she’s good at her job. He doesn’t believe she didn’t like it, and she says she’s going to buy some T-shirts. Dayna laughs. I wonder if Scheana believes her own lies.
Jax joins Max and Tom, and says he’s sorry. It wasn’t his intention, and he’s the first to apologize when he’s wrong. He was out of line, and he’s going through mental issues. He’s angry all the time, and calls it an episode. In Tom’s interview, he says, 90% of the time, Jax is full of sh*t. He spins things around to create pity. Jax says, part of it was him uninviting them. They can obviously come. Scheana tells Charli about Brett being uncomfortable with the video, and Charli says he should have known what it was when he signed up. Scheana calls Brett over, and Charli jets. She says she doesn’t want him feeling uncomfortable, and he doesn’t have to come. He says he did her a favor, and she says she doesn’t want him there, since he brought up how uncomfortable he was. In her interview, Scheana says, guys in L.A. suck. If she’s sexy, she’s coming on too strong, but if she plays hard to get, that’s not good either. How is she supposed to know what they want, if they don’t say it? Brett asks if they’re good, and she says they’re good. He says when she flashes her fingers like that, they’re not good.
Jax asks Kristen where Carter is, and she says he’s working. In her interview, Kristen says when Stassi didn’t ask her to the engagement party, she felt vulnerable and alone, and she called Carter. They had sex. It was great. Jax says Kristen hooked up with a guy in a video that Carter saw. Kristen says, it was four years ago, and Jax asks her to swear on her life and her friendships. She says it’s none of his business, but it was four years ago. In Kristen’s interview, she says, of course she’s lying. Jax has the biggest mouth ever, and it’s no one’s effing business. In Jax’s interview, he wonders if Kristen doesn’t get tired of telling stories, and not knowing what she told people. She’s losing friends left and right. No one believes her, and it’s all deny, deny, deny. Lala joins the conversation, and Kristen asks if they can not do this where she’s selling things. Jax stomps off, griping that Kristen lies about everything, and she’s delusional. Brittany says he’s projecting to people who don’t know him. What’s wrong with him?
James goes to SUR, and asks for a table for one in Raquel’s section. Lisa comes in, and sits with him. She asks if his girlfriend is working, and he says he’s in her section. Lisa says he can’t stay away, and tastes his drink. She says she approves. Raquel comes to the table, and asks if she wants a glass of rosé. Lisa asks if the Pope has a balcony, and Raquel doesn’t understand. In her interview, she asks if everyone knows the Pope drinks rosé on his balcony. Lisa says she loves Raquel, and James says Raquel had to think about that. He’s having the best time. Lisa asks, what’s wrong? and James says he wishes he and Raquel worked at the same time. In Lisa’s interview, she says, James has had no problem asking for his job back. He starts out sweet and polite, then slyly tries to weasel back in. Then when he doesn’t get what he wants, he gets demanding, but this time seems to feel different. Lisa tells James, you know what? They don’t have a DJ for tonight. He gets all excited, and says, onward and upward. She says she has faith in him. In James’s interview, he says, white Kanye is back in business. He tells Raquel, and she says, amazing. She’s so excited for him.
Jax and Brittany argue about Kristen’s time frame, and Brittany asks why he’s getting mad. It has nothing to do with him. He asks if he’s not allowed a bad day, and she says he’s allowed a bad day, but he’s not allowed to take it out on her. She doesn’t get why he’s so affected. He asks if that’s it than, and she says, no. Obviously she loves him. They’ve been through worse, and she’s stood by his side. Give her some credit. He doesn’t have to lay blame. He says he has super highs and lows. He smokes and gains weight, then he takes Adderall for it. He can’t win. Geez. No wonder he’s a mess. Brittany says, as soon as the wedding was over, nothing was ever good enough. Jax says they’re going to fight. It’s not Leave It To Beaver. He can give her that if she wants, but they’d have to move to Kentucky. She says she doesn’t want him to circle back to his old ways, and being mean. She starts to cry, and says, it breaks her heart.
Next time, a competing pool party; Brittany wonders if they’re going to have anyone at their house; Stassi tells Jax that he’s losing his mind; Lisa and Ken are developing a garden bar, and would like to see the Toms invest for a 10% share; and Lala says Max and Brett are getting messy.
If Loving You Is Wrong
Oh yeah the cowboy bar. Ha-ha! I forgot.
Brad tells the baby to breathe, and calls 911. The operator tells him to check the baby’s airway, and he says, there’s a fireman across the street. He runs out, and Natalie smacks into him with her car. She and Esperanza jump out, and he tells them, the baby isn’t breathing. Natalie and Esperanza run inside the house, and Esperanza takes the phone from Brad. She asks, what happened? and he says he checked on the baby, and he wasn’t breathing. She asks if the baby was on his back, but he says, no. The baby was on his stomach. Marcie must have put him that way. Esperanza starts to tell the operator that they need an ambulance, but Natalie says, no; they don’t need it. Brad says, he’s not dead? and Natalie says, he’s sleeping. Esperanza tells the operator, the baby’s asleep. They just have a panicked man who doesn’t know what to do with a baby; they don’t need anyone. Brad stammers, and Natalie shows him how to put a finger under the baby’s nose. He says he thought the baby’s chest wasn’t moving, and Esperanza asks if he actually took a look. He needs to relax. She tells him that babies need to sleep on their backs, and he says he just panicked. Natalie asks if he’ll be all right, and he says he has a sitter coming. He’s good until then. Esperanza says, what about Alex? Does he know where she is? He says he’s sure she’ll be home soon, but Natalie says she doesn’t think… Esperanza stops her, and Brad says they look like they know something. Natalie says she doesn’t think he wants to know, and Brad asks if they saw her. She needs to come back and take care of the kids, and the other kid. Natalie says, she’s at a bar, and he says he doesn’t care. Esperanza says she thinks he should get her. It’s a sleazy, dirty, grimy place. Actually, it isn’t, but okay. She says, it’s not somewhere Brad would want her, and he says, it suits her. He’s done. They’re divorced, and he doesn’t care. Esperanza asks if he’s going to raise the kids on his own, and he says he’ll have to. Natalie says, the baby is fine, and Esperanza says, they can’t leave her. Natalie says, she’s grown, and Esperanza suggests she stay with the kids while Brad brings her back. Natalie says he can’t do that, and Brad says he won’t do it. Esperanza says, she’ll do it then. She leaves, and Natalie asks if Brad will be okay. He tells her he will, and she reminds him not to lay the baby on his stomach. She says, he’s welcome, and he says, sorry.
Natalie sees Tyrell, and asks if he’s settled in. He says he is, and asks if Justice is home. She said around 3, right? She says, Kelly doesn’t really want him to see Justice. She wants to talk to him first. He asks when Natalie thinks she’ll be home, but Natalie doesn’t know. He asks if she thinks Lushion could get him in to see Kelly, and she says she’ll ask him. He wonders if he could borrow some bread, and she says, he wants to borrow money? He says, no; bread, and she laughs. She tells him to come in, and he says he’s been in jail. She asks if he’s going to rob her, and he says, not at all. They head into the house. Tyrell says, sorry. When people know he’s been in jail, they get scared. Natalie says she has a son in jail. He asks how long her son has got, and she says, a day is too long. She gives him a loaf of bread, and asks if he needs anything else. He says the bread will do, and she asks if he’s eaten. She doesn’t think there’s anything over at Kelly’s, and he says there are canned beans. She says she’ll make him a sandwich. He sits, and says he needs to see Kelly. She says she’ll call Lushion, and he says she’s really kind. She hopes someone is kind to her son. He asks what her son’s name is, and she says, Joey; does he know him? He says, he doesn’t, and asks when she thinks Kelly will get out. She says, they’re working hard on it, and he says he misses her; she’s the love of his life. They were kids in love and having fun; it was crazy. He’s pretty sure Kelly doesn’t feel the same anymore. Natalie says he doesn’t know that, and he says he hopes they can get back together.
There’s a knock at Brad’s door. It’s Dr. Raston, and he says he wasn’t expecting her. she says she wanted to come by and check on him. Brad says Alex isn’t back; that’s why she’s there, right? She says she’s sorry, and he says he’s there taking care of the kids. He learned a valuable lesson about babies sleeping on their fronts. He doesn’t want to make it awkward, but asks why Alex went to see her. She asks, what’s going on? and he tells her, look for herself, showing her the laptop. He says Alex has been on an online dating site, sleeping with lots of men. The doctor says she’s sorry, and he says, it is what it is. He says he’ll have to get tested – for everything. If she’s given him something… Dr. Raston tells him not to get ahead of himself. He asks how a person can be one way for ten years, then break. She can’t answer that, but knows a therapist who can. He says he’s not interested, and she says she knows he’s angry. He says she doesn’t know the half of it, and she says she’s sorry. He says he is too, and she tells him, she’s there if he needs her. He says he’s sorry for being rude; it’s a lot. She understands, and he thanks her for coming by.
Nurse Pat visits Tyrell, and asks if he lives there now. Nice. She asks who lives there, and he says, a friend. He asks if she wants some wine, but she says she’s got to go to work. She only has an hour. He says that’s plenty of time, and she asks if his mom doesn’t live there. He says, not his mom, his ex. She says, no bitch is going to beat her down. Come to her house. She sees a picture of Kelly, and says, hell no. That’s her? She was Kelly’s nurse in jail. He says, small world, and she says, this is where she killed Travis? Now she knows she’s getting out of there. She tells him, call one of his other strays, and opens the door. She says, damn, and he says, yeah, damn. She leaves, and he says, damn. He calls someone, and says he’s out. He’s a free man.
Alex rides the bull. It’s slightly more crowded in the bar now. She says, look what the cat dragged in, and it’s Randal. He asks, what the hell is going on up in here? and she says she’s riding a bull. He says he sees that. She’s back to her hillbilly whore roots. She says, jealous? and tells him to help her down. He does, and she tells Johnny to give her another shot. He asks what he can get for her friend, and Randal says he’s good. Johnny says, if you come into this bar, you drink. Alex says, it’s fine; he’ll have a beer. And a shot. Randal asks, who’s that? and she says, her new sponsor. He asks if she’s in recovery now, and she says, no; she’s staying with him a little while. They’re going to shack up while she figures things out. He asks, what the hell is wrong with her? and she says, he thinks she’s crazy? He says, hell yeah. He finally drove her mad. She says he didn’t, and he laughs. She says she’s completely free. If he did that, fine. She’s finally free to do whatever she wants. Nobody to stop her. He says she can’t do that, and she asks, why? He says he’s not through making her life a living hell. She says, he can’t do that; the pressure’s off. He says she’s going home; let’s go. She says, no, and he tries to strongarm her. She says she’s not going anywhere, and he says, want a bet? She tells him, look around real quick. Look at where he is; surrounded by a bunch of good old boys. Does he want to be grabbing up on her? He thinks she knows he doesn’t give a damn, and he pulls her off the bar stool. Johnny takes out a gun, and says, put his hands on her again, and he’ll blow Randal’s brains out. Alex says, he means it. Johnny tells Randal, get his ass on out of there, and don’t come back. Alex says, he really means it. Randal backs up, and goes toward the door, and Alex says she loves a man with a gun. Randal slowly leaves, and Johnny asks if Alex is doing okay. What does she want? She says, a shot, and he says, this one’s on the house, but she better ride that bull again.
Eddie barges into Larry’s office. Larry tells his poor assistant, it’s okay. Eddie asks how Larry is, and Larry says, better now that Eddie is there. Eddie says, him too. He brought Larry something he shouldn’t have. He thinks Larry will like it. Larry asks if he should take his clothes off. Eddie says, keep them on, but open his mouth nice and wide. Eddie puts his feet up on the desk, and asks, how much would a long list of names regarding the Cane case be worth? Larry says he has no idea what Eddie is talking about, and Eddie says he has every idea Larry represents the church. What’s the price for the list of women Travis assaulted? If Larry tells him what he wants to know, he’ll be more than happy to share his information. Larry asks how and where he got it, and Eddie says, from Kelly’s cell. A sister from the church gave it to her. Larry says, so they’re trying to get her off, and Eddie says, seems that way. Larry calls Ian to come in. He tells Ian, this gentleman says he has information that was going to be used to get Kelly off. He says it was found in her cell. Has Ian gotten in touch with Carl? Ian says, not yet, but he will. Ian asks Eddie how much it’s worth, and Eddie says, the question is, how much is it worth to him? It’s a lot of bad publicity for the church. What’s the price tag on something like that? He’ll start at 200 (I’m assuming he means thousand, but he is pretty stupid). Larry says, $50K now, in cash. Eddie thinks he can get more than that, but he’ll start with $50K. Larry tells Ian to go to the safe, and get the money, and Ian says, right away. He leaves, and Larry asks if Eddie wants a drink. Eddie says, nah. He knows what Larry mixes in. Larry says he’s learned his lesson, huh? There are no other copies? Eddie says, it’s the only one. How long is this going to take? Larry says, patience is a virtue, and Eddie says he’s not patient. Larry asks again if Eddie wants a drink, and Eddie says, that’s the second time. He’s not interested. Bring him the money.
Steven asks Esperanza how her day is going, and she says, not so good, so far. He says, it’s not Eddie? and she says, it’s Alex. She asks if he’ll go somewhere with her quick. Alex is at a dive bar doing God knows what. She doesn’t think Alex should be there. He says, she’s an adult, and Esperanza says, a very drunk one. Steven says, let her stay and have a good time, and she asks if he’s coming with her. He says he said he would. He just has to tell Lushion something first.
Ian sits in Lushion’s office. Lushion says, he hasn’t returned Ian’s texts? Ian says, no, and Lushion asks, who is this kid? He said to meet there. Ian asks, where’s the information? Lushion says, Eddie happened, and Ian says, he took it? Lushion says, yeah, and Ian asks if there are any copies. Lushion says there aren’t, and Ian says, Eddie sold it to Larry. Lushion asks why Larry would buy it (which I’d think he’d know), and Ian says, Eddie lied, and said he had the rest of the information, and could keep it quiet. He’s sorry. Lushion asks, was Ian in on this? Ian says he’s trying help her. Why? Lushion says, it sounds fishy. Ian says Lushion can trust him, and Lushion says Ian needs to start showing him something. Ian says, this kid can handle it. It will be okay. Lushion asks if he doesn’t think they’re waiting too long. Ian says, they’re both in the result business, and Lushion says, show him something. Steven stops by, and says, the DA is there, in the interrogation room. She wants to see Lushion. Lushion and Larry leave the office.
Larry is standing around the corner, and asks what Ian is dong there. Ian says he’s there for the Vasquez case. What is Larry doing there? Larry says, the DA asked to see him. Ian asks, for what? but Larry doesn’t know. He asks Ian to come with him. Lushion is like, hmm… and follows.
In the interrogation room, the DA sits with Carl. Larry says he didn’t know it was going to be a party. Ian is his plus one. What’s going on? The DA (whose first name I forgot) says, this, and plops a folder down, and this affidavit. This young man, their public defender star, delivered. Larry asks where he got this, and Carl says, his sources are confidential. Larry says the cases settled out of court, but Carl says, it won’t matter. They’re ready to testify. He spoke to all of them. Larry asks how he got his hands on this, and Carl says, confidential. Larry says, right, but they can still prosecute. The DA says, they’re not prosecuting Kelly for anything. Her office is opening an investigation into the allegations against Travis and his church. They need to get themselves together. Larry asks if she’s aware that it’s an election year, and she asks if he’s trying to threaten her. That would not be wise. She tells Lushion, they’re dropping the murder charge. They believe it was self-defense. Lushion says, no question. The DA says, they’re done. Larry asks who is Carl? How does he do this. Carl says, it’s what he does, and Larry says, he didn’t have help? Carl says, the good Lord; hallelujah. Everyone leaves, and Lushion laughs. He says, Carl did it. Carl says Lushion doubted him? Come on. Lushion says he didn’t. Good job. Let’s go tell her.
Larry tells Ian, he smells a rat, and he knows who it was – Eddie. He’s wet behind the ears, and they had the same thing. Ian says, he’s not Larry’s problem, but Larry says Eddie took $50K from him, but he’ll get it back. Watch him.
Marcie returns to Brad’s house, and says, she’s not back yet? He says, no, and Marcie says, she thought Alex would be back. She was drunk and mad, and maybe she will when she sobers up. He says he doesn’t know, and she hands him a card. She says, it’s a lawyer. He needs to get custody of his kids. He asks how he explains it to them, and she says, carefully? He says, they’re going to be home soon, and she says he’ll need to have a sit-down with them. He asks if she’ll stay, but she doesn’t know if it’s a good idea. He says he’ll have to explain it to them sooner or later; there’s a lot going on. She says, maybe he should wait, but he says, what’s the point? He’s going to have to move in, and he wants her to move in as well. She asks if it isn’t a lot for the kids, and he says, they’ll adjust. The baby cries, and he says he’ll need help with this one. She says, the baby isn’t his. Alex will have to give him up for adoption. Is he sure he’s ready to take this on? He says he’s ready to do what he has to do. She tells him, call Larry, and they’ll do what they have to do. He says, done, and kisses her.
Lushion knocks on Kelly’s cell. She asks if he found Eddie, and he says he did. She says, thank God. He got the pictures back? He says, no, and she repeatedly says, oh my God. He says, but it’s all right, and she says, it’s not. She’s still in there. He says, not for long, and she tells him, he keeps saying that, but she can’t take it anymore. She feels like she’s going to die in there. That bastard Eddie took it all away from her. Lushion tells her, hold on, and she says she feels like a caged animal. He says, if she hates it there, she’s going to love this guy. Carl steps forward, and she says, what the hell is he doing here? Carl says, she has hostility for him, and Lushion tells her, she’d said Carl was so green he can’t see straight. Is that any way to talk about the man got her off? She says, what words are coming out of his mouth? and Lushion says, she’s free to go. He unlocks the cell, and she stands there a moment. She asks if he’s playing with her, but he promises he’s not. She cries and thanks him. She laugh/cries, and thanks them both. Lushion asks if she doesn’t want to know what happened, and she says, no. She doesn’t want them to change their minds; she just wants to leave. He says, they won’t change their minds, and she asks, what happened? Lushion says, they looked at the evidence, and saw it was self-defense; they saw all the victims. Kelly thanks Carl, and he says, him? The green kid? She thanks Lushion again, and kisses him on the mouth.
Next time, Natalie gets into it with Randal, Larry approaches Eddie about the money, Alex goes home, and Tanya freaks out.
🍹 May the Cinco de Mayo Be With You…
Another Temptation Tuesday has come and gone, and along with it your virtual margarita party, and whatever Star Wars remembrance you brought forth for the fourth. Stay safe, stay focused, and stay having a sense of humor.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
I missed the beginning, but these are the main points. The Davis women got together to sort through racks of clothing for underprivileged women; Brando went to Sonny’s gym, and Jason was there; and Elizabeth found Franco going over their bills in the studio. She saw an invitation from Ava for the portrait unveiling, and wasn’t happy about it.
Julian hears someone come into Charlie’s, and says they’re closed. Neil grabs him, and pushes him up against the bar, saying, you bastard. Do you have any idea what you did to Alexis?
At the gym, Jason asks if Brando is staying in Port Charles, and Brando says he thinks so. Sonny told him the situation is less volatile, and it would be okay for him to go back to Chicago, but he sort of likes Port Charles. He likes the garage, and running his own place. Jason says if he decided to stay, maybe he could use another customer.
Kristina says Alexis is late; it’s probably a work thing. She’s got a big belief in the project. Molly says, helping underserved women build careers. She pauses, and says, next time, stop her from sounding like she’s giving a public service lecture. Kristina says, that’s the way Molly talks, and why is she being so hard on herself? Molly says, while TJ was tied up in a basement, she was sleeping with the friendly neighborhood mechanic. Sam says, why not just tell TJ the truth?
Neil asks what the hell Julian’s problem is that he made Alexis’s personal business public to anyone and everyone. Julian says Neil took advantage of Alexis and drove her to drink, and Neil thinks he’s the injured party? Neil says thanks to Julian’s public scene, word got back to the medical board. He calls Julian an SOB, and says Julian cost him his career.
On the phone, Alexis asks how Diane thinks she feels. She’s keeping calm and busy, and staving off a nervous breakdown… How does she think it went? She lied at the hearing. It could be considered perjury. Does she think the bar will think so?
Franco says Elizabeth was all fun and hot, and now she’s all stormy. She’s still hot though. She says Ava is supposed to be his friend, and reads from the invitation; art’s bad boy Franco, ten years after his fall from grace, art provocateur. She says, Ava is using his dredged up past. Franco says, it’s not like his past is a deep, dark secret. He’d thought she made peace with it.
Nikolas tells Ava, the adolescent games have to stop. The groundskeeper told him she asked that trees be cut down. She says, not cut down; just moved. They obscure her view. He says she doesn’t get to change house or grounds. The trees were there before her, and they’ll be standing after she’s gone. He doesn’t recommend any more shots. She says guerrilla warfare, like putting snakes in handbags? and he says he has no idea who did it. He wouldn’t waste time on petty revenge. She points out a letter on top of the mail, and asks if he doesn’t recognize the handwriting? He says, it’s from Spencer.
Julian asks what the hell Neil is talking about, and Neil says he’s been stripped of his license. His life’s work and livelihood is gone. Julian says, and Neil blames him? Neil says, it had no reason to come out, but Julian says, wrong. Britt saw them at the hotel. Neil says Julian tried to make a public spectacle of it, and Julian says Neil used his privilege as Alexis’s former doctor; he thought therapists were big on accountability. Neil says he takes responsibility. He let the relationship progress when he knew better, and used his position of trust, but Julian’s outrage and misplaced chivalry doesn’t change the damage he’s done in Alexis’s life. Now he’s made it worse.
Kristina says, Sam can’t tell Molly what to do about her relationship, and Sam asks what happened after she left the garage? Kristina says, Molly went back to see Brando? Molly says she wanted to let him know that she wasn’t going to tell TJ what happened, and Sam was still there talking to him. Sam says she wanted to know where Brando stood with Molly, and Molly says, which is nowhere near inappropriate and unnecessary. Sam says she didn’t want Brando taking advantage of Molly, and Molly says, no one took advantage of her. It was a one-night stand; they happen. Kristina says, not to Molly, and Molly tells them to get over themselves. She’s not a prude, and doesn’t need rescuing. Alexis walks in, apologizing for being late. Sam asks if she’s okay, and Alexis says, right as rain. What were the three of them fighting about?
Jason tells Brando that he needs a stabilizer for his bike, a Harley Fatboy. He doesn’t ride much anymore, but summer is coming, and he wants to be ready. He’d like to put it in himself. Brando says he thought Sam was Jason’s mechanic. She was at the garage today, and sounded like she knew a lot about bikes. Jason asks why she was there.
Elizabeth says Ava is supposed to be Franco’s friend. He’s a changed man; a father and a husband. He heals through his art, and if he hadn’t risked his life to catch Ryan, Ava might not be alive. Franco doesn’t think anyone has forgotten. A producer reached out, because he was working with the producer who was making a documentary about Ryan. Elizabeth says, the man Ryan killed? and he says, yes. Because he was involved in Ryan’s capture, the producer wants to interview him. He’s trying to salvage the documentary. He didn’t want anybody to delve into his past, but with summer coming, it’s difficult. She says he’s lost her, and he says, like Ava put it; it’s been ten years. She asks what he means, and he suggests they have a chat about the situation. She sits down with him, and says, if there’s something she needs to know, just tell her. He says, in July, it’s the ten year anniversary of his Francophrenia show, and the night he tried to frame Jason for pushing him off the roof.
Ava says Spencer hasn’t reached out since they were in France, and asks Nikolas what he said. Nikolas tells her that Spencer is going to accept him back in his life. She says, wonderful, and he says, if he leaves her. Spencer can neither forgive or forget her betrayal, and selling him out to Valentin. He reads, your turncoat wife will have to go. Ava says she keeps hoping Spencer will soften toward her, but she’s not surprised he hasn’t. He needs somebody to blame and focus his anger on. It may as well be her. In any case, she’s happy Spencer reached out. It’s a big step. Nikolas can’t believe it. Spencer can be so stubborn; it’s a Cassadine trait. Ava says he feared Spencer would reject him forever, and wants to give him a second chance. It’s wonderful. Spencer is a great kid, and deserves to have his father in his life. Nikolas wonders if he should see Spencer in person; he doesn’t want to overwhelm him. Ava guesses he’ll be wanting a divorce, and he says, sorry. He’d do anything reconcile with his son. She tells him, don’t be sorry. She understands completely. When will he be moving out?
Molly tells Alexis, they’re not fighting, and Sam says, it’s just a spirited debate. Alexis asks, what about? Kristina says, what Molly and TJ have been talking about. Alexis says, Molly is talking to TJ; that’s encouraging. Sam tells Molly, tell mom what happened with TJ.
Julian tells Neil, get it straight; discussions about him and Alexis are off limits. It doesn’t concern Neil. Neil says since he doesn’t have a medical license any more, he’ll say what he damn well pleases. What Julian has done in Alexis’s life is very much his concern. Julian asks when Alexis confided in him; during therapy or in bed? Neil says, maybe Julian is still in denial that he held a knife to Alexis’s throat, but all the denying, rationalizing, and excuses in the world won’t change the fact that he terrorized her. Now he made their private business public. Julian asks if that isn’t what Neil wanted, and says Neil should be thanking him.
Elizabeth says, ten years seems like a long time. Franco was suffering from a brain tumor; he’s not the same man. Franco says, she’s right, but he did a lot of damage destroyed a lot of lives. The public setting put a spotlight on the ugliness, and people are coming to him to tell his side of the story. They’re offering him a lot of money. It’s an incredible opportunity for income. Elizabeth says, absolutely not. It’s a painful part of his past, and she doesn’t want him to relive it for any amount of money, but at least they’re strangers who are asking. Ava wants to exploit his pain for a vanity project. Give her Ava’s number. He says, please don’t call Ava; she’s kind of his employer. And scandal sells. His old artwork is more valuable, and with the publicity, he can ask for even more money for his paintings. She asks if he’s okay with that, and he says, it doesn’t matter. It’s the way it is. He works in a hospital, and teaches sick kids how to draw. He’s funded a shelter, kept the hospital open, and he trapped a serial killer. It doesn’t matter. As long as he’s an artist and public figure, he’ll never escape the past. It will always be there.
Nikolas says Ava thinks he’s giving her Windymere? She says, not just the house, but Spoon Island. It’s part of the estate. He asks in what universe she assumes she’d get them, and she says, this one. It’s part of her 90%. He says she’s holding him to the post-nup? and she says, why wouldn’t she? He says, it has nothing to do with infidelity or a failing on his part. It’s only because of his son. She says she understands, and he asks why she’s doing this. He thought she wanted him to have a relationship with Spencer. She says, of course (🍷) she does, but the terms are clear and binding. If he divorces her, she gets 90% of the Cassadine fortune. Nikolas tells her, be careful about overplaying her hand. She’s sure she doesn’t know what he means, and he says she thinks she’s won, and her petty games mildly interest him, but don’t try to keep him from his son. It won’t end well for her.
Ava says, resorting to threats is unnecessary. She’s not standing in the way of their reconciliation. She’s thrilled, and will be glad to give him a divorce, but a deal’s a deal, and she’s not walking away from her fair share. He says, nothing about it is fair. It’s Spencer’s rightful inheritance. She says, Spencer didn’t agree; he did. That’s why she allocated the remaining 10% to Spencer. It’s a fortune in itself, and more than enough for him to live on. He says she doesn’t give a damn about Spencer. All she cares about is herself. She proved it with her own daughter. No wonder Kiki distanced herself. And Avery. Ava slaps him across the face, and says don’t talk about her child. He says, then stop using his as a pawn. He loves Spencer more than anything. She says, now is his chance to prove it. Give up his fortune, and give Spencer the father he really wants, or not. Stay with her in this marriage from hell, and keep his money. Don’t kid himself that she fooled him into anything. Either way, it’s his choice. His money or his son.
Franco suggests to Elizabeth that he cash in on the public wave before it crashes. He messed up, but that’s the way the world is. He doesn’t think anybody has bought one of his paintings for the talent he may or may not have for a long time. It’s about his reputation. He doesn’t care. A college fund doesn’t care. Elizabeth appreciates that he wants to provide for the kids’ education, but not at the expense of his integrity. He says, notoriety sells, but she suggests letting the art speak for itself. He says she’s never been a real artist.
Julian says Neil treated Alexis like a backstreet mistress; his dirty, little secret, and now it’s out in the open. Nothing is standing in their way. He’s welcome. Neil says, only Julian would look at it so simplistically, because he’s selfish. Alexis lied to the review board, and it’s technically perjury. Alexis is looking at disciplinary action, and possible disbarment, thanks to Julian. Julian says, maybe he’s responsible for the public outburst, but Neil and Alexis jumped into bed and lied about it. He deserves what he gets, but he’s sorry Alexis got bit. Neil says, so is Alexis. Julian asks if that’s why Neil is so pissed. Did she kick him to the curb? Neil says, no, but maybe she should.
Jason asks if Sam had car trouble, but Brando says, no. Her sister Molly had some damage to the undercarriage of her car, and he fixed it. Jason says, Molly is Sonny’s niece, and Brando says, he might as well get it out in the open; he’s on good terms with Molly, but Sam and her other sister can’t stand him.
Molly tells Alexis, TJ proposed a domestic partnership. Alexis says she’s drawn those up for clients, and it’s certainly a legal alternative to traditional marriage. Is Molly happy about it? Molly says, yes; it’s more than she hoped for. Alexis says, and she’s just hearing about it now? She wasn’t born yesterday. What’s going on?
Franco tells Elizabeth, hold on; he takes it back. Of course (🍷) she’s a real artist, but she doesn’t have to deal with the idiots in charge of the professional world. Her work is amazing. He wasn’t trying to offend her. She says, he misspoke, but he’s right. She’s naïve, and has no idea how the art world works. She’s never competed for recognition or mounted a show. His phone dings, and he says he doesn’t want to leave right now, but he can’t be late for Ava. It’s the last night she’s sitting for him, and there’s got to be something to unveil at the unveiling. Are they okay? She says he’d better get going. He doesn’t want keep the gravy train waiting.
Neil tells Julian, maybe Alexis deserves a clean slate. Julian asks what he means, and Neil says he’s done more harm than good. They should avoid future contact. Julian confuses all of us, by saying, Neil is going to walk after what Alexis went through to be with him? Neil says, there’s nothing to walk away from. Julian says, if Neil walks away, he risks everything. He has Alexis’s hopes and dreams in his hand, and he’s going to toss them away. Neil says he’s doing what’s right; it’s not about him and Alexis. Julian says he’s running away to protect his damn self.
Brando punches the bag, and Jason asks why Sam and Kristina have a problem with him. He says he insulted Kristina. Not on purpose, but he offended Kristina, and Sam was offended on her behalf. Jason says, insulted how? and Brando says, Kristina was working at Charlie’s, and Sam was with her. They’d never met, but Sam heard his name and recognized it. She asked if he was Sonny’s cousin, and he said he was. She introduced herself, and they made conversation. He heard she’d taken down Shiloh, and he said how brave she was. Jason says, that doesn’t seem like an offense, and Brando says, he told her only idiots join cults, and made some stupid remarks that sounded ignorant and judgmental. He saw Kristina didn’t like it, and Sam said she’d been in DoD. He tried to apologize, but the damage was done. Jason says, so Sam didn’t like what he said about her sister? Brando says, no, and Jason says, and she came all the way over to the garage to tell him that?
Molly says she’s only human, but she shouldn’t have kept quiet. Alexis says she doesn’t blame Molly. Alexis wasn’t there when TJ went missing, because she was focused on her own thing. Molly says she knows she can call Alexis any time, but she had had plenty of support. Alexis has nothing to feel bad about. Alexis is glad she feels that way, and glad she’s talking to TJ. The domestic partnership is a good idea. If she needs paperwork drawn up, or advice, Alexis would be happy to help. Molly says, it’s a little soon for paperwork. It just happened, and she has to catch up on her course work. She knows Alexis is dealing with her own stuff, and wants Alexis to know that she’s capable of taking care of herself. Kristina says Alexis is the poster child for confidence, and gives them something to aspire to. Alexis calls Molly her RBG (Ruth Bader Ginsburg), and says she has the same moral compass. It’s a good thing, and she should be proud. Molly says she’s not all that, and Sam tells her, take the compliment. Molly says she’s not perfect. When TJ disappeared, she jumped into bed with someone else.
Nikolas approaches Elizabeth at the reception desk, and she says she’s working. She’s a real nurse, and her work is kind of important. He says he didn’t mean imply her time isn’t valuable. She says, sorry, and asks if he needs something. He says it’s not like her to snap, and she says, it’s one of those days. What’s he doing there? He says, looking for friend. If he can help, he’d like to. What’s going on?
Ava sips a martini and cries. Franco arrives at Windymere, and she says, sorry. She hopes he’s finished her face; her eyes are puffy. He asks, what happened? and she says she’s fine. He says he’s glad she’s fine, but he’s not. He’s feeling down, and could use a hug. If she felt like it. For his sake. She hugs him, and cries.
Julian tells Neil, try to put Alexis first. Use his shrink – ex-shrink – experience to figure out what she needs, and act accordingly. Neil asks if Julian wants him to be with Alexis, but Julian says, hell no. But Alexis wants to be with Neil, and he wants her to be happy. She deserves it. Neil says he can’t make up for Julian’s failings, and Julian says, true, but he can try not to add to them. Fight for her. She jeopardized her sobriety for him, and she’s going to need help, especially if she has trouble with the bar association. Don’t let her drink. Neil says he can’t stop her, but Julian says he can try. She’ll listen to him. She doesn’t let a lot of people in, and she laid it on the line for him. That means, for some reason, she’s crazy about him. Julian doesn’t know what their issues are, but conquer them. He’d be a fool to walk away from a woman like Alexis.
Jason says, Sam is protecting her sister, and Brando says, she sure is. He apologized, and hopes it’s for good. Jason asks if he was able to fix Molly’s car, and Brando says, her boyfriend picked it up. That’s the reason Sam was at the garage. She used Molly’s car as an excuse to chew him out. Jason says, don’t mess with Sam or her sisters, and Brando says he’s learned his lesson.
Molly tells Alexis, it was Brando, and Alexis says, Sonny’s cousin? She says, second cousin on Mike’s side; they’re not related. Alexis says, thank God for small favors. Molly says she had a huge fight with Jordan. Jordan said TJ was done, and it was her fault. She was frustrated and angry, thinking TJ was bailing on a ten year relationship, and had his mother deliver the news. She damaged her car, and found the nearest garage. Brando was there, and he was nice. He said he could fix her car, and they got to talking. We flash back to Molly kissing Brando, and she says, he didn’t take advantage of her. He didn’t know she had a boyfriend, and when she explained, he couldn’t have been more decent. Her, on the other hand… Kristina says, it was one night. She can’t tell TJ, and risk their relationship. Molly says, it’s no good for the relationship. She’s been swallowing her feelings, and doesn’t think she can keep it up without exploding. Sam says, clearly, since she just blurted it out to Alexis. Molly tells Kristina, she doesn’t handle problems the way Kristina does. Kristina deals with her problems, or not, so she blows up. Kristina says, Molly has all the answers, and Sam doesn’t need to answer to anyone. Jason is a slippery slope, and Sam jeopardized him and her family. Sam says she’s on parole because she saved Kristina from Shiloh, and the stupid cult. Kristina asks if Sam blames her for everything that happened, and Sam says, yes.
Tomorrow, Ava tells Franco to go back to being the psychopath he used to be, Kristina tells Sam that she’s the reason Jason and Sam are still in love, Nelle asks if Martin is prepared to win sole custody for her, and Carly says Nelle won Nina over.
Below Deck Sailing Yacht
Adam acts like a d-bag to Jenna, saying she has moments of being cool, then ruins them. She tells him, don’t be with her then. She says he’s petrified of any emotion, and he doesn’t trust her, so they can’t move forward. He wonders what the solution is then. She suggests they go to bed, and he says he wanted to go to sleep hours ago. Jenna snores. Adam’s problem, besides him being a huge baby, is that he wants the perks of a relationship without putting any effort into it.
Jenna eats some cereal in the crew mess, and Georgia asks her if everyone is still in their cabins. Jenna nods, and says she’s not motivated. The day starts, and Ciara says she can’t take Paget anymore. Jenna straightens up the crew mess, and Adam asks, what’s going on? She says, same old.
Madison asks if the foot fish thing is a date, but Georgia isn’t sure. She asks Chris, and he says, a little bit. In her interview, Georgia says she doesn’t know what do about enjoying his company, since it will only be for the rest of the season. Paget tells Georgia that she looks and smells good. In his interview, he says he doesn’t see it as a match. Georgia would need someone with similar interests, like music, and someone who can take a joke. Georgia meets Chris on the dock, and they walk through town. They go window shopping, and he tells her that he makes his own gifts. She says he must be creative, but he says he’s always poor. They go to the fish spa, and Georgia immediately starts giggling, as the fish nibble at her feet. Chris says, normal is boring, and he likes to see people on their toes. Fish too, I guess.
In Byron’s interview, he says, hearing that Madison’s sister was murdered puts things into perspective. It’s an enormous ordeal. No wonder she fights to stay positive. Chris tells Georgia that he’d like to run a boat one day. In Georgia’s interview, she says she feels like whatever TF she does, it’ll be wrong. They go back to the boat, and Glenn asks if the fish ever take too much skin. Georgia says it’s invasive, but enjoyable. Paget says, that’s Chris. Chris asks Paget how it’s going, and Paget says, real effing good.
Georgia tells Madison that she was thrown off last night when Madison was upset. Madison asks, what’s wrong? and Georgia admits she told them about Madison’s sister. Madison says that’s not her place, and Georgia apologizes, saying that’s why she’s telling Madison now. Madison says, that’s effed up. Whenever she has emotions, it’s not about her sister. It’s not a thing. Georgia says she told them more to give insight, so people would back off, but Madison says, that has nothing to do with it. She wasn’t upset, but she was annoyed that it was all couples. If she had a trauma, it wasn’t Georgia’s place to tell everyone, and she’s pissed. Jenna says she didn’t know the story, but Georgia thought Madison was in a mood because of her sister. Georgia tells Jenna, she didn’t say that, and Madison says she’s really annoyed right now. In her interview, Madison says she thought Georgia had her back. Let her personal life be hers unless she tells it. She feels like her trust was betrayed. Jenna says she’d probably feel the same way, and tells Madison to take a breather and reassess.
Glenn calls Adam, Paget, and Jenna for a preference sheet meeting. The primaries are Kerry and Dino, who are best friends. Kerry is a retail sales manager, and Dino is in interior design as well as being a restaurateur. Kerry has stage 4 cancer, and they’re bringing their closest friends to honor and celebrate her life. In Paget’s interview, he says it’s going to be Kerry’s last chance to do something like this, and he wants to make sure to go all out, especially for her. Jenna reads that they want to sail as much as possible, and want an upscale dinner for their friend Mark’s birthday. They also want a hot deckhand to deliver the cake. A pajama party is on the list as well. Paget reads that they want to do water sports, and go to the beach. Adam sees that Kerry doesn’t like smelly seafood, and another guest is emotionally allergic to mayonnaise. Jenna has to point out that it’s a joke. In Adam’s interview, he says, it’s the most important charter, and he’s thinking about Jenna. He doesn’t want to lose his sh*t. Glenn says they get better with each charter, and he wants to keep the energy up. He wants to give the guests the best experience.
In Georgia’s interview, she says if she was in Madison’s position, she would be hurt. She doesn’t like inflicting pain on someone else. She doesn’t like upsetting people. That’s not the person she wants to be. On deck, Paget spanks Ciara, and Chris says Paget has to spank him too. Ciara warns Chris that Paget will do it. Madison finds Georgia in the laundry room, and Georgia says, sorry. Madison says she’s gone through enough, and doesn’t need this sh*t. Georgia says she feels humiliated, being the idiot who upset Madison. They hug, and Madison says she still loves Georgia. She has no idea why. In her interview, Georgia says she loves Madison, and knows it’s not a fair situation. It shouldn’t have occurred, and she feels embarrassed that she dropped the ball.
Four hours until charter. Byron asks what they should expect, and Jenna says, no mayo, causing a question mark to hang over his head. Jenna suggests they strive for perfection, and give Kerry the best trip of her life. She tells the crew, Kerry has requested a hot deckhand to deliver Dino’s birthday cake, so… yeah. Provisions come in, and Adam bitches to the delivery guy, asking why he keeps sending that crap. What the hell is he supposed to do with frozen garbage? Why does he keep bringing Adam this effing garbage? The guy starts to close the van door, but Adam says, he doesn’t have time, so he’s taking it. He asks where the vegetables are, and the guy says he’ll be back with them at 10. In Byron’s interview, he says, Adam is throwing a tantrum; he’s fruit loop crazy, and it has nothing to do with the food. It’s a firework factory, and Jenna has the match. Adam says his produce isn’t there. Bleepity, bleep, bleep, bleep.
In his interview, Glenn says he’s worked with a lot of couples. He doesn’t want to get involved with Adam’s personal problems, unless it’s hurting the guests’ experience. In the history of people calming down, no one ever calmed down by being told to calm down. Glenn tells Byron that he had a wicked nightmare about the boat sinking. Give him some good news. Byron says, they’re having nice weather. A bunch of crows attack the mast, and Ciara says, that’s not a good sign. In Glenn’s interview, he says, crows are a bad omen. There are a lot of superstitions about sailing. Like don’t whistle – we see Adam whistling in the galley – or you might get a storm. Don’t take banana on a boat. We see Adam unpacking bananas, and Glenn says, it probably comes from the days when it was dangerous to go to sea. The sea can be a harsh mistress. Ciara says she’s scared.
As the guests walk to the boat, Kerry says she can’t believe this is their life. Glenn formally welcomes them, and Jenna gives the tour. The anchor is in the pocket, and they’re off. Chris thinks Georgia is just flirting, and it’s hard to gauge her. They sail. Madison sees Jenna and Adam sitting in silence, and in her interview, says, she thinks they’re fighting. The boat starts to lean, and Adam says, make sure everything is stowed. Things start to slide, and Madison says she loves sailing, but not while she’s working. Glenn says they’re suddenly at 24 knots, and calls everyone up on deck. Things fly around, but he says he’s got this. In his interview, he says, when the wind picks up suddenly, you have to be on your toes. You have to get close to the wind. The Parseval sails well. He pushes her hard, and she lives up to the challenge. In Jenna’s interview, she says, Kerry’s attitude is so positive. She’s had personal experience, with her dad dying of cancer, and wants to bust her ass to make this the best trip of Kerry’s life. Before he died, she’d gotten him a book, and one of the questions asked what kind of legacy he wanted to leave. He said he wanted to make people laugh, and Jenna has valued that in herself. It’s what want she’d want to leave, but sadly, once you’re gone, memory fades quickly. She want to think about what she can do while she’s there. Kerry says she wishes she’d learned the lesson about being positive earlier.
Anchor is dropped, and oil is discovered everywhere on deck. In Glenn’s interview, he says he pushed the boat to its limit, and doesn’t know what happened. Paget says, it’s the effing crows. Adam prepares lunch, and says, plating is the only fun part. Byron asks that the chair be set up, so he can go up the mast. Ciara tells Georgia about the oil, and says, it’s the crows. Paget asks Glenn if it’s okay for the guests to swim in the wind, and Glenn suggests he take them in the tender to a safer place. He asks Madison to go with them. At a cove, the guests do snorkeling, wakeboarding, and swimming. In Jenna’s interview, she says, life is short. She doesn’t like fighting or holding a grudge, She doesn’t want to waste time. She’s writing Adam some love notes, and hopefully they can go back to the way they were. She gives him a bunch of little folded papers in a bag. He looks at one, and tosses it aside, continuing to decorate the cake. Jenna walks off, and says, eff you, Adam.
In Byron’s interview, he says, from an engineering perspective, leaning that far over isn’t good for the machinery. A lot of sh*t breaks. He goes up in the chair, and checks things out. He tells Glenn, it’s the hydraulic hose, and totally fixable. In Glenn’s interview, he says, mechanically, it’s not a big issue, but cosmetically, it’s a freaking nightmare. Byron says he’s fixed the problem, but not the symptom, although I think that would be the other way around. Glenn says, it’s going to be a pain in the ass to clean up. It’s going to take a wad of K2R.
It’s time for dinner, and some of the guests put out party favors, tiaras, and hats. Jenna tells Paget to take off his shirt for desert; he’s delivering the cake. In Paget’s interview, he says he was a chubby kid, and still feels like that inside. He’s self-conscious. He asks Jenna if he can work out first. Georgia sings in the laundry room, and Paget tells her that he’s working up his confidence. They flirt. In Adam’s interview, he says in celebration of Kerry living her life to the fullest, he’s going to pull out all the stops, and make sure every minute is perfect. The guests blow bubbles, champagne is popped, and Paget does push-ups. Adam sees clean plates, and says, they can eat. He likes that.
In his interview, Paget says he’s sh*tting himself. His self-consciousness is bigger than people realize. Adam tells Paget, do his cake proud, and Paget does more push-ups. In Georgia’s interview, she just starts laughing, and can’t stop. Ciara films Paget going out with the cake. Dino asks if Paget is on the clock. He says he is, and tells them to enjoy the cake. He starts to leave, and Dino says, one more thing… Paget turns around, and Dino says, thank you. The guests applaud. Jenna tells them that Georgia is going to sing, and Adam slices the cake in the galley, refusing to engage with Jenna. In Jenna’s interview, she says she feels like Adam is playing a game, and she hates it. She tells him, they need to talk. The guests go to the living room, and Jenna asks if Georgia can cover service before she sings. She has to take care of something.
In Adam’s interview, he says Jenna requires a level of commitment he’s not used to. He doesn’t want to change. He wants to do his work, and focus on his life. He has no time for this right now. He and Jenna sit on deck, and she says she thinks he needs to understand where she’s coming from, so they can move forward. He says he finds it odd that when they finish being intimate, she asks weird questions. That’s why they had a fight. Jenna says she doesn’t want conflict in front of the others, and Adam says he doesn’t want any conflict. It makes him want to run. Jenna says he’s not used to supporting a person in the way that’s necessary for a relationship to grow. He says he has to do a good job. If he’s buried in emotions and figuring sh*t out, he’s got no time for that. They took the wrong route.
Georgia sings for the guests. Adam tells Jenna that he just wants to get through the season. She asks where he’s going after that, and he says he wants to get off the effing boat, hop in his van, and drive away.
Next time, Paget asks if Georgia likes Chris, Chris throws his back out, Glenn says the interior service has dropped, and Glenn talk to Jenna.
🍰 Better Than a Pinterest Fail…
You really can take the tag off a pillow. You knew that, right?
It’s been at least a year now, right? If you’re feeling like that, hang on. If you’re like me, time flies whether you’re having fun or not. I’m stockpiling some tea, but for now, see you tomorrow when I say, I’ll get some sleep in the next life.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Shahs of Sunset
Vida fauns over Baby Shams while out to lunch with MJ and Tommy. MJ says she had to cancel her baby shower because she was on bedrest, so she’d like to have a Sip N See to introduce the baby to everyone. In MJ’s interview, she says, traditionally, a Sip N See is having a few ladies in the living room to meet the baby. (Not according to Phaedra, RHOA. It’s more like a wedding with a baby, instead of a bride and groom.) She says, Persians put their own spin on things. They have it catered, decorate onesies, and tweak it a little. She tells Vida and Tommy that she wants a county fair theme. She’s thinking about having it at the Houdini mansion. Vida asks if that’s not better for Halloween, but MJ says it’s a gorgeous place. Tommy says it’s a beautiful mansion, and he thinks MJ can pull it off. MJ tells Vida that she talked to Reza, and saw everybody. Reza seemed genuinely remorseful, and said he was dropping the charges against Tommy. Vida asks if she’s inviting him to the shower, and Tommy jumps in, saying, no. She says she can’t because of the restraining order. In her interview, MJ says, in a perfect world she wishes Reza would be welcome, but there’s no way she can even entertain the thought until he drops the restraining order.
Reza and Adam go to a pottery making class. Adam asks if it beats Reza’s beekeeping thing, and Reza says the bee thing was amazing. He wishes Adam had been there. He had a really nice time, but then MJ said something to Paulina that upset her. Adam says, MJ is making a lot of people upset. In Reza’s interview, he says the reentry into his and MJ’s friendship is a bumpy flight. The attendants are still able to serve you, but there’s a lot of turbulence. He tells Adam, if his and MJ’s friendship is limited or not, Tommy having a felony record along with a newborn isn’t cool. He thinks karmically, the right thing is to not pursue criminal charges, and he’d rather do the right thing. Adam agrees, and says, at the end of the day, they’re in a great place, and everything is positive. He doesn’t care if Reza doesn’t go through with the criminal charges, but he still wants the restraining order in place. Reza says he totally forgives MJ and Tommy, and wants things comfortable for everyone, and to co-exist, but Adam says they’re where they’re at because of MJ and the Tommy situation, and he’s sticking by the restraining order. In his interview, Reza says he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. He’s caught between two people he loves. Adam says he’s glad they’re in a better place, and moving forward.
Destiney takes her pup Frank Sinatra with her to look for a baby gift. She calls Mike while she’s at the store, but he says he’s not going to the Sip N See. He says he was going to come, but then MJ made Paulina feel some sort of way. That shouldn’t happen. Destiney says, sometimes the stuff comes out of MJ’s mouth is toxic. In Destiney’s interview, she says, when they were in Hawaii, they were talking about bonds and how friendships matter. Does Mike want to lose that? She buys $250 worth of baby stuff.
Assistant Sienna tells MJ, everything is good. MJ asks her to text the guests that she’ll see them at 2:30, so they’re not late. Everyone starts to arrive, and it’s an amazing set up; games, all kinds of fair food, a donut wall. Reza says, it’s very MJ, and Nema says, it’s the most Iranian thing in the world; a three-month-old having a DJ at their party. Mike texts Nema that he decided not to come, Destiney arrives, carrying a load of balloons, trying to navigate the million stairs up to the party in her heels.
Mike and Reza have some batting practice. At the party, Shervin tells Nema, GG isn’t coming either, and we see her having some dental work done. Nema says, what the hell? In Nema’s interview, he says, whatever their personal drama is, this is about MJ’s son. Party planner Lenora tells everyone that MJ and Tommy are coming, as Destiney finally makes it to the top of the stairs. Nema tells her, Mike’s not there, and she says he felt some type of way (the phrase of the night) about MJ’s comment to Paulina. He’s feeling that she disrespected him; that’s his woman.
MJ tells Shervin, she’ll love GG from afar, until things change. Shervin says, Mike isn’t coming either, and wonders what happened to their ten year friendship. MJ says she feels bad about what she said to Paulina. She had her guard down, and it was in the moment, but she thinks Mike doesn’t want to show up. She thinks it’s a deeper emotion than hurt. She thought he cared, but he’s shown her nothing. He wants to look good in front of his girlfriend, and she’s glad he’s not there.
Nema tells Sara, he can’t wait for Mona to have kids. He won’t be having any, since his parents effed him up too much. Sara says, break the cycle, and Nema says, easier said than done. He’s afraid he’ll repeat the mistakes his dad did. Mona says, it’s his choice. Sara takes Nema aside, and says she lost her dad suddenly in a car accident. He’d just dropped her off at work, and her dad got T-boned in a high speed police chase. He died instantly. When she hears him say he can’t get over it, she thinks he still has a dad. Cherish that. Nema says, a lot of people chime in, but only a few get him to stop and think. He wants to think about what she said.
Tommy takes the mic, and says, his wife is the most legendary creature that has ever graced the planet. When he sees his son, he falls in love with her ten times more. MJ thanks everyone for coming. If they’re there, it means they love them, and it means a lot. Having her son is everything, and she hopes she gets to pass along the things her father taught her. Tommy says if Baby Shams grows up to be half the man MJ’s father was, they’ve done their job as parents. In MJ’s interview, she says, it’s a dream come true. She’s sad that some of her friends have shown that whatever they’re doing in their lives is more important than her baby. She toasts to Baby Shams.
Mom Fatima visits GG, bearing Persian herb stew, among other groceries. In her interview, GG says her mom is her best friend, especially through the pregnancy process. Her mother has been her human punching bag, but GG appreciates that Fatima has been there for her. She tells Fatima that she went to the doctor, and she’s starting the process again in a month and a half. She’ll be doing injections for five weeks. Fatima tells her, congratulations. In GG’s interview, she says, there was a crack in the road, and she stumbled, but she’s going to keep going. She shows Fatima the needle, and it looks gigantic. Fatima tells her, say it’s for the baby, so she can do it with satisfaction. GG says she’s getting emotional, and Fatima says she wishes GG will be a good mother. GG says she had a good teacher, and hugs Fatima.
Mike tells Paulina, he’s going to Sara’s freedom party. We flash back to the disaster of a pool party, and in his interview, Mike says, the last one sucked. Oh sh*t; here we go again. Paulina asks if everyone is going, and says, at some point, they all have to take responsibility for their own actions. Mike says he’s concerned about not going to the Sip N See. They meet Mike’s parents for dinner, and Mike wears a gold medallion that his grandfather had gifted his dad, and his dad passed to him. He thought, why put it in a safe, when he can wear it proudly? Mom Sue asks how his project is coming. In Mike’s interview, he says his parents have doubts about his capabilities. He tells her, it’s going really well, and his dad asks if he’s got proof. Mike says his project manager emails him several times a day on the progress, and it looks good. Sue says he’s almost there, and Mike says, it’s going to be a good year. Sue says she’s proud of him. It’s a big deal. Mike set his mind to it, and he’s doing it. In his interview, Mike says, all he’s wanted is for his parents to be proud. It only took 41 years.
Nema goes to lunch with Mona, half-sister Sara, and dad Fred. In his interview, Nema tells us that his dad had another child with his stepmother, but he’s always looked at her like a full sister. She’s starting at UCLA in the fall, and he’s proud of her. He tells a story about Sara shutting off the X-Box in the middle of them playing, when she was two, and him thinking, he can’t do this parenting sh*t. Mona asks Fred if Nema should have kids, and he says, every dad wants grandchildren. Nema says, no way, and apologizes for bumming everyone out. Fred comes around the table, and hugs him. Nema gets emotional, and goes outside, and his dad follows. Nema says he’s tired of being angry. In his interview, he says he didn’t cause this. The actions of his mom and dad did. We flash back to Nema talking to his therapist, and saying he’s more angry at his dad after reading his mom’s letter. He tells us, he’s had twenty-five years of small talk with his dad. Fred says he knows how much he hurt Nema, and doesn’t want him to suffer. Nema means everything to him, and he hopes Nema can give him room in his life, because he loves him. Nema says, they don’t talk, but his dad says Nema is his son, and he loves him. Let’s fix this. Nema says, at this point, it’s too late, but Fred says, they’re ready for it. He wants them to be close, and wants to help Nema. Nema hopes so. In his interview, Nema says they have had a sincere moment of closeness in years. It’s been like a game of chicken. When they get back to the table, Fred says he loves all of them, and Nema says he forgives him and his mom. He doesn’t want to carry it anymore. He can’t spend the next 35 years like the last ones. He suggests they have more regular meetings as a family.
Tommy asks MJ if Reza is going to be at Sara’s party. MJ says, the scene of the crime. Tommy says he has a bat in the car; he’s got a softball game. MJ tells him, no jokes like that.
In Reza’s interview, he says he left Hawaii thinking he’d be dropping the charges. But Adam is clear that dropping the restraining order isn’t an option.
In Destiney’s interview, she says she has no issue with Sara. She dated Sara’s brother; however, the last time, it was a disaster. We flash back to that. She says she can still be nice and sweet; that’s who she is. Plus, she can rub it in his face that she’s cute. When MJ arrives, she says, do-over, and in her interview, she says she has hella PTSD just walking in. In Reza’s interview, he says talk about going back to the worst experience. He hopes he gets three, four, or five sheets to whatever wind. He blows a kiss to MJ, who tells Vida not to attack him. Vida swears she’s not going to attack anybody. GG sees Sam, and in her interview, she says she needs to have a talk with Destiney. She doesn’t know what Destiney saw in that guy. The way she talked, GG thought he would look like James Bond. WTF?
Reza and MJ step away, and he says he’s trying to avoid her mom. He says he was glad they’re in a good place, making forward motions, but when he walked in, he heard Vida talking about him to Nema. MJ says she wants Reza to say hello; just acknowledge her. Reza gives Vida some polite conversation, and moves along to the bar. Mike tells Nema, he’s yet to get an apology from MJ, and Nema says he thinks it was wrong of Mike not to show up for the Sip N See. Mike says there’s plenty of time for them to catch up. Reza joins them, and Mike says he wasn’t there either. Reza says, it was because of the restraining order. He’s not going to file charges; he doesn’t want a felony case for Tommy, MJ, or the baby. But as far as the restraining order goes, Adam feels safer with keeping it in place. They don’t want to risk another moment of impulse control. Nema asks if MJ knows, and wonders how their relationship can survive. In Reza’s interview, he says, Adam wants him to take a stand for him and their marriage. He’s going to respect his husband’s wishes. How can he not?
Nema asks MJ how it went with Reza, and she says she hasn’t asked if everything is dropped, and Nema tells her that Reza isn’t dropping the restraining order. He just said it. In MJ’s Interview, she says she’s really hurt. She doesn’t believe Reza would make that choice, to double down on something that damaged their friendship beyond recognition. He’d assured her that he was dropping everything in his power. She tells Nema that their friendship is built on lies. Destiney joins them, and Nema says, there’s drama. Reza comes in, and Nema says, perfect timing. A conversation came up about the restraining order. MJ says, everything they talked about was a lie. Nema tells her, that’s not what he said, and she says Reza also talked to other people, and she doesn’t like anyone else being involved. Reza says, what transpired in his household… and MJ says, he changed his mind? He says they’re not pursuing the felony charges, but what if Tommy comes back in six months with a gun instead of a bat? MJ says, so he’s worried about the future? and Reza says, 100%. MJ says if there’s going to be a future between them, please don’t do this. He needs to give her credit for 30 years of being his friend. That’s why she apologized. She’ll burn this house down if he doesn’t lift everything. He says he’s sorry, and she says she can’t do this. In Reza’s interview, he says he doesn’t want the restraining order to be the nail in the coffin of his friendship with MJ. But at the same time, he had to pick between two people he loves. He’s still married, and picked his husband.
On the balcony, MJ yells, these people are full of sh*t, and she doesn’t need to be there. In Mike’s interview, he says, they’re not a bunch of fair-weather friends. This has gone too far. How did they get to this place? In her interview, GG says, certain people will find a happier ending, and certain relationships are completely done. Reza yells for everyone to come and take a family photo, and the guests all gather by the pool. In MJ’s interview, she says she’s heartbroken and gutted. She was open to fixing the friendship, but wonders how they can ever get back from this. She leaves the party.
Next time – the Reunion.
💿 For the Record…
Today on GH’s Flashback Friday, it was an anniversary episode from 2014. I don’t remember seeing this, but I might have still been dealing with repairing the house after Hurricane Sandy. AJ died after Sonny shot him, Lucy was still married to Doc, Noah had broken up with Bobbie, and the Nurses Ball was on the horizon. Since there were flashbacks within this flashback, we saw three different Carlys, and saw Sonny when he was practically an infant. At the end, AJ was met by Emily, Edward, Lila, and Alan, and took the stairs up to heaven. Which is really questionable.
For some reason, my brain translated Phaedra to Rosa. Probably because of Porsha’s misunderstanding of the Underground Railroad. History and pop culture have somehow meshed in my brain.
Remember, No one’s more important than people! In other words, friendship is the most important thing – not career or housework, or one’s fatigue – and it needs to be tended and nurtured. – Julia Child
There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true. – Soren Kierkegaard
David is not a terrorist. He’s a Catholic. – woman being catfished on Dr. Phil
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. – Oscar Wilde
It is never too late to be what you might have been. – George Eliot
It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then. – Lewis Carroll
Well-behaved women seldom make history. – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
The most common form of despair is not being who you are. – Soren Kierkegaard
Nobody wanted to be in this situation. It is how we react to it that will define us as people. – David Toborowsky, 90 Day Fiancé: Self-Quarantined
You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? – Rumi
Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. – Voltaire
I had to think of a new and creative way to embarrass my children. – Sarah Michelle Gellar on why she dyed her hair pink during quarantine, TheSkimm. (She sounds like my father.)
📝 Summing Up the Week…
You made it through another one. And I’ve added more things to my list of what I never want to hear/see again, like WFH (I’d actually thought it mean what fresh hell when I first saw it), and #alonetogether (I just want to be alone). The doors are slowly starting to open, and you’ll be out there again soon. See you when it’s time to sail away on Monday. Until then, stay safe, stay on your good behavior, and shake your groove thing like nobody’s watching. Unless they are.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
In keeping with this week’s tradition, I missed the beginning, which wasn’t much. Sonny wants to talk to the family, Julian told Brook to get out of his bar, and Nelle harassed Michael in the park.
Michael tells Nelle, they’re done here, but she says, they’re just getting started.
Sasha sees Carly headed toward her, and says, before she says anything… Carly says she already talked to Michael, and being Michael, he blames himself. But she blames Sasha. She wants Sasha to tell her, in her own words, why she cheated on Michael.
Josslyn asks Sonny if it’s about Mike, but he says his dad is the same. It’s about the situation keeping them there. They can leave the house now. Josslyn asks if they can go back to school, and he says they can. Dev says, it’s amazing news, and Sonny tells Brando that he’s free to go back to Chicago.
At the hospital, Elizabeth asks how Trina is, and Trina says, pretty good, considering. Elizabeth says if there’s anything she can do, just call. Trina thanks her, and Elizabeth tells Cameron that she’s going back to work. Call if he needs her. Cameron flashes back to being on Sonny’s terrace with Trina, and kissing her. Trina says, hey.
At the reception desk, Elizabeth asks if Portia saw Trina, and Portia says Trina was doing her homework there earlier. Elizabeth wishes Cameron was as good with that, and Portia says she’d love to ask Elizabeth’s opinion. It’s about the hospital, so if Elizabeth isn’t comfortable, she’ll understand. Elizabeth says, try her, and Portia says she’s thinking about putting her name in for the head of internal medicine. She knows she’s new, but since Elizabeth has been there a while, she wants her opinion. Would she be stepping on any toes, or inviting pushback or resentment, or both?
Julian tells Brook, turn around, and stay out of his bar. She asks, why the hostility? and he says, maybe because she blackmailed him. She asks if he’s admitting he knew all along the baby was Michael’s.
Michael tells Nelle, his relationship with Sasha – she says, or lack thereof – has nothing to do with her. She says, it doesn’t reflect well on his commitment, or his ability to provide a stable home. She’s willing to compromise though. Instead of being at each other’s throats with a custody hearing, she’s willing to strike a deal. She gets full custody. Of course (🍷) he’ll have visitation. She’s thinking one weekend a month and alternate holidays. In return, grandmas one and two can keep their robust bank accounts and their jobs.
Chase tells Willow, he’s sorry. She says she’s sorry too, for her part in making this happen, but it’s too painful; she can’t go there yet. Someday, her time with him will be happy memories, but this is how life is right now, and she can’t imagine that day. She has no more room in her heart to hurt, and the best way for him to apologize, is to just not. She goes into the bedroom.
Sasha says she knows Carly is furious, but she thinks what happened should stay between her and Michael. Carly says, it’s not just them; there’s Chase. She believed Sasha when Sasha said she loved Michael and would never hurt him like Nelle did. She believed Sasha’s lies and deceit were behind her. Help her understand what changed. Sasha says, it’s not all that complicated, but Carly doubts that. Sasha says, Chase was feeling like things with Willow were happening too fast, and she felt that way too, in a way. She didn’t count on an insta-family with Michael and Wiley. She realized she’d never be enough. Michael needs someone better, more pure. Diane confirmed that she’s a bad choice as far as the custody suit goes. She and Chase were frustrated, and one thing led to another… Carly says, no. She’s lying.
Cameron asks Trina if the Spanish test wasn’t difficult, and she says, no. He asks if she didn’t take the test, but she says, no; she can’t do this. They barely see each other outside of school, and all he can come up with to talk about is that he thought the Spanish test was hard? He’s totally been avoiding her. He says he hasn’t. He’s been busy with school and soccer. She says, like every day of his life. The only thing that’s changed is that they kissed. She suggests they talk about it, and says it can never happen again.
Josslyn says Cameron was going to the hospital after school, and Trina goes there to do her homework sometimes, so she’s probably there. Dev asks if they should text first, but she wants it to be a surprise. Sonny says, they still can’t take public transportation, and one of the bodyguards will drive them. Josslyn and Dev leave, and Brando says Sonny made their day. Sonny says, they seem happy. What about him? Brando says, it’s a great relief that no one is in danger, especially the kids. Sonny appreciates what Brando has done for him and his family. If he needs help reestablishing himself, all he has to do is ask. Brando thanks him, but he was wondering if he has the option to stay.
Brook says Julian is so busted. He was so busy covering his tracks with Brad, he didn’t count on his own son being in the car. He put Lucas in a coma. Julian says he did nothing of the sort. Her theory is pure delusion. She asks if that’s all he’s got. He’s been hiding Michael’s son from him, and Willow has been jumping through fiery hoops for a baby that’s not her own. Did he think Lucas would be grateful? The cherry on top is the accident. Julian tried to kill Brad, but ended up hurting Lucas. He’s in so deep, but not to worry. One word from her to Sonny or Michael, and all his problems will be solved permanently.
Nelle bets Michael didn’t think she had it in her to be fair. He says she wants him to stop fighting for Wiley’s custody, and if he does, she’ll drop the bogus charges against Monica and Bobbie. She says correct, although she has an issue with the bogus part. He says, it’s not going to happen. There’s nothing she can prove, and even if she could, and shuttered the doors of GH, it wouldn’t matter. Monica and Bobbie would happily walk away from their careers rather than let her raise Wiley. She’s bad for Wiley, and he doesn’t trust her with his son. She says, their son, and he says, not when he’s done. She says he thinks he’s better than her, and he says he has to be. Wiley deserves better, and he’s going to have it. She says he’ll be sorry, and the worst part is, it didn’t need to be this way.
Sasha gets why Carly would think she’s lying, and Carly says, none of this tracks. Sasha told her that she thought Michael marrying Willow would improve his chances for custody, and now she says she and Chase have been having an affair the whole time? Sasha says she felt guilty about it, and Carly says, she didn’t sleep with Chase. She just wants Michael to think she did.
Willow tells Chase, she’s sure she forgot some things. If he finds them, just put them aside. He asks if she’s sure she’s okay, and I yell, tell her, you idiot, as Willow leaves. She cries in the hallway, and Chase leans against the door.
Sonny says he had no idea Brando wanted to stay. Brando realizes it seems like he’s doing a 180, and guesses he is. In the beginning, he just wanted out, and to go back to Chicago and his life, but that wasn’t an option. He needed to stay put and play the part of Dev’s dad. He likes Port Charles. Sonny says, it’s a great city, and Brando says, he likes running his own garage. He’s not demanding it be rent free, and if the deal is over, no harm, no foul. But if he can stay and pay rent, keep the garage going, it’s something he’d like to explore.
Elizabeth tells Portia, she’s not comfortable speaking for the doctors, but she’ll speak for the nurses. Even though Portia has only been there a short period, she’s totally earned their respect. Everyone is raving about her. Portia is glad to hear that, and Elizabeth says Portia knows what she’s doing. She’s sure other people will be vying for the position, but she hasn’t heard of any yet. Her vote is, go for it.
Trina tells Cameron, they’re going to get it all out there. She really likes him so much; he’s an awesome friend. She’s so grateful he was with her in the car and at the warehouse. She would have lost her mind without him. He says he would have too. She says she’s researched PTSD, and it messes with you emotions. That’s what happened to them. They almost died, and they went through it together. They’re scrambled, but fine. It’s not fine to make something of it that it’s not. Nothing has changed. He says, it hasn’t? and she says he’s as into Josslyn as he ever was. Josslyn is still getting over Oscar, but she’s close to getting to the other side. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes she’s into him. The worst Cameron can do is convince himself that he’s into Trina when he’s not, and blow his chances. Cameron says, so they’re good? and she says, totally good. He says, wow. She’s the best. She says, duh.
Brook tells Julian, he can relax. She has no interest sharing his secret with Sonny or anyone. The last thing she wants to do is blow up Lucas’s life more than it is already. Julian’s dirty little secret is safe. Dustin comes up behind her, and asks what secret that would be?
Chase sits in the dark, and looks at his phone. He remembers telling Willow that he has to shower, and her saying she’ll risk it, and kissing him.
Carly says, Michael couldn’t bring himself to marry Willow; he didn’t want to hurt Sasha. So she found a way to let him off the hook. She tells Sasha not to confirm it, or she’ll be obligated to tell Michael that she sacrificed her own happiness for him and Wiley. She’s have to tell him that Sasha knows Wiley is the most important thing, and has to be kept away from Nelle. She would probably do the same thing in Sasha’s position, and admires a woman who can do that. Sasha says nothing, and leaves.
Michael says he can’t believe it. Dammit! He picks up a big stick, and hits a tree with it. Willow yells his name, and asks, what’s wrong? What’s going on? He says he ran into Nelle, and gave her exactly what she wanted.
Sonny tells Brando, it’s up to him. Sonny was under the impression Brando couldn’t wait to get out, but if that’s not the case, he can stay. Brando says, cool. He didn’t know if it would mess things up. Sonny says, it works out for him. It’s more convincing for Dev, having Brando around. He doesn’t want Brando to feel obligated now that the danger has passed. Brando says he appreciates being given a choice.
Cameron tells Trina, she’s 100% correct. Trina says, tell her something she doesn’t know, and he says, except for him being into Josslyn. She says, that’s why they were going to the winter formal in the first place; so he could dance with Josslyn. He says he likes her, but it’s not a big deal. If she never feels same way, they’ll just be friends. Trina says, shut up, and he says he wants to tell her how great she is. Hug time. He grabs Trina, and she says she can’t breathe. Josslyn arrives with Dev, and asks, who’s ready for a movie? Did they interrupt something?
Brooks says, Dusty! He made it just in time. He says, what’s the dirty little secret? and Julian says, Brook is exaggerating. Brook says, there’s no use hiding it. She needs to tell Dustin the truth. She and Julian aren’t related, but they have a lot of people in common. Like Lucas. She didn’t know Julian was his biological father until after Julian propositioned her. He thought she was a hooker. Julian says offered to pay for her time; nothing else. Brook says, if she mentioned it to Lucas, it would make things awkward. Out of the goodness of her heart, she hasn’t, but it wouldn’t hurt if Julian was nicer to her.
Chase flashes back to telling Willow that wine guy is a legend, and saying, she’s not going to leave him for wine guy, is she? She says, that depends on if he’s still making her rock climb. He says, it’s at the Y; he’s not asking her to climb Everest. She says, it’s kind of the same thing. In the present, there’s a knock at the door, and Chase jumps up to answer, but it’s Sasha. She asks if she can come in, and he says, sure. She says she wanted to check on him. How’s he doing? Is he waiting for Willow to come back? He says, she’s definitely not coming back.
Michael tells Willow, Nelle agreed to drop the lawsuit… Willow says, in exchange for full custody. Bobbie and Monica would give up their careers and go bankrupt before letting that happen. He says that’s what he told Nelle. She said a bunch of BS, and he lost it. He knows not to do that. What if Nelle was recording it? She drives him crazy. He tells himself, don’t engage, but he couldn’t help it. She made him so furious. Willow says, good for him.
Dustin thinks he and Brook will have the song done in time for the Nurses Ball. She says he didn’t apologize for being late. He says, it was five minutes, and she says she was early. He says he couldn’t let his students out before the bell rang, and she says she can’t get over the fact her artistic Dusty is a high school teacher. He says her artistic Dusty has bills to pay. Not everyone gets to be a Quartermaine. She says, touché, and he says, besides, he’s passionate about teaching, like she is about her music. She suggests they get back to it.
Brando says he understood the situation, and was fine with helping Dev out; he’s a good kid. And he’s not the type to turn his back on someone in trouble. Sonny says, he made that clear, and Brando says, he didn’t like being told how live, and not having a say. He screwed up in the past, but he’s taken control of his life, and has been responsible for his own choices. Having said that, Sonny gave him the opportunity to do something good in Port Charles, and he doesn’t want to waste it.
Trina tells Josslyn, she was telling Cameron that he’s a complete idiot who made a complete mess of his life, but he’s lucky he has smart friends. Josslyn asks what Cameron did now, and Cameron says he was late to practice. The coach was mad, and he’s the one who has to write Cameron a recommendation letter. Trina says she told Cameron it would be okay; he could make it up. She asks how Josslyn and Dev are there, and Dev says, house arrest is officially lifted. Josslyn says they still have to be careful. Sonny’s guys are driving them, but they’re free. Cameron says, good. They can hang out somewhere other than Josslyn’s house. Josslyn says she’s dying to go to the movies, and Trina asks what she wants to see. Josslyn doesn’t care, and Cameron says, not a chick flick. Dev wonders what that is, and Trina says they’re romantic comedies that Cameron secretly loves. Josslyn says, he does, and he knows it.
Nelle goes to the MetroCourt, and Carly asks if there’s something she can do for her. Nelle says she ran into Michael, and Carly says, how was that? Nelle says, terrible. He was abusive and threatening, and she fully intends to tell her lawyer. She was willing to compromise, but Michael refused. As much as she was hoping to avoid all out warfare and being combative, the court is going to hear all about it.
Chase gives Sasha a glass of water. She asks if he’s waiting for Willow, and he says he’s waiting for the sense that he did the right thing. To sense the rightness that will make losing Willow bearable. That should be the reward for doing the far better thing; the pain and loss should get less. He keeps telling himself that, but right now all he can think about is the future he’d started to dream of that will never come true.
Willow says, it’s not like Michael had a meltdown in court, but be real. Nelle is an evil psycho, and it doesn’t matter if he freaks out. If he plays along, she’s hateful, but if he fights her, she’s still hateful. She’s glad he yelled at Nelle, and wishes she’d been there. She would have yelled too, for everything Nelle has done to Michael, Wiley, and her. If not for Nelle and her walking horror show, Willow wouldn’t have flipped out; she wouldn’t have driven Chase into Sasha’s arms. She wouldn’t have had to get her clothes from an apartment where she was the happiest she’s ever been. She hates that she’s doing this now. It doesn’t matter what happened to her, or how sad she is, or how she wishes things were different. The only thing that matters is Wiley. Michael says, she’s right. Nelle is the worst. He suggests she give the tree a whack. She says she’s not hitting a tree, but he says he did, and it made him feel better. Give it a try. She takes the stick, and says, okay. She hits it and laughs. He says, imagine it’s Nelle; give it a good whack. She hits it harder, and keeps hitting it. She says, I hate you Nelle.
Sonny tells Brando, he’s welcome to stay. He’s family, and it’s good to have him. Plus, Sonny owes him. Brando says, he doesn’t, but Sonny says he saved Carly, and stepped up for Dev. He knows Brando didn’t think he had a choice, and responsibility and free will are important to him. Brando says, it was a unique situation, and Sonny says, now that it’s over, Brando’s life is back in his hands. What he does about it, whatever he decides, Sonny will respect it. Brando thanks him, and says he’s not sure he was truly grateful before, but he is now. They shake hands.
Portia tells Elizabeth, she pulled the trigger. She’s officially in the running for head of internal medicine. Elizabeth says, good for her, and good luck. Portia appreciates it, and thinks Elizabeth for her support.
Taking Trina aside, Josslyn says, Cameron seems happy, and Trina says, he does. Josslyn wonders why, but she’s sure they’ll be able to figure it out. Trina says, let’s go, and Josslyn says Trina seems happier too. Trina thinks she is. She feels like things are still really horrible, but maybe they’re looking up. Josslyn tells Cameron and Dev, the chick flick awaits. Cameron says, no, and Josslyn says she thinks he’s protesting too much. They walk out together, all happy.
Carly asks if Nelle has a recording or footage of said abusive behavior, but Nelle says, no. Doesn’t Carly care that the son she raised is treating her this way? Carly says, not really, and Nelle says she’ll never see her grandchild again, and Carly’s mom is going to lose her license because Michael refused to be flexible. Carly says they’ll wait and see, and Nelle asks if she thinks Michael is going to win, and Carly says she doesn’t know who’s going to win. Who can predict that? But she can tell Nelle, she has a good feeling about it.
Sasha tells Chase, she’s waiting for that too; the feeling of, yes, it was worth it. Do her a favor. Whichever one of them it happens to first, let the other one know. If it makes him feel any better, Carly completely figured it out. Carly thinks they’re doing the right thing. So does she. Chase says he knows they are. If he didn’t, he couldn’t do it. Sasha asks if he has anything stronger, and he goes to the kitchen.
Willow says Michael is right. She does feel better, but what if someone saw? He says, no one is around. Better to hit the tree than Nelle. She says, that depends on who you ask. Michael says he’s sorry for all the havoc this insanity has caused in her life, but she says she doesn’t regret any of it. He asks how that’s possible, and she says, in whatever crazy Nelle responsible way Wiley is in her life, she can never be sorry for that. She can’t stand the thought that Nelle might win. Michael says, she won’t, and she asks how he knows. He says, because they won’t let her.
On Monday, Ava asks Nikolas if he wants a divorce, Franco says he can never escape his past, Neil attacks Julian, and Brando tells Jason that he’s staying.
The Real Housewives of New York City
It’s the start of Fashion Week, and Sonja gets her new collection together. Tinsley practices her walk, as Garo Sparo (winner, Project Runway) asked her close out his show. She gets to wear a crown, and she says, it’s the most exciting thing ever. LuAnn meets with her producer Ben. Her new show theme is Marry F*** Kill. She says, it’s always been about the Countess, but now the Countess is being naughty. She’s excited about the new show.
In her interview, Ramona says, if you don’t go to a show during Fashion Week, you’re considered a leper (yeah, I know), so she has to go, or she’ll be ostracized. Sonja says she’s been working all summer on her new collection of ready-to-wear; everything is under $250. She confers with her team, and asks about the models. In her interview, she says Fashion Week is a big hurdle, and she doesn’t want to mess it up. The girls are coming, as well as her designer friends, and it’s nerve wracking. She thinks team Sonja forgets the reason for the show is the retailers wanting to buy her collection. She swears she’s not sleeping until the show is over.
Tinsley squeals when sees the dress she’s wearing, and says, it’s so her. It is. Very fairy princessy. Dale is happy that Tinsley is back doing something. It’s been ten years. Dale dabs at her eyes, and Tinsley says she doesn’t want to cry; she’ll ruin her makeup. She says she looks like herself again, and they both cry without crying. Dale asks what wrong with them? and Tinsley says, a lot. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she was the It girl, and walked in shows. This makes her feel like she’s back to being the person she was before, and lost when moved away.
Dorinda and Sonja get out of the limo, checking their girdles and tape respectively. Tinsley is thrilled with her cute, cute dress, but not so much the sparkly sneakers. In her interview, she says most people walk the runway in heels, but she’s afraid she might trip in the sneakers. She definitely wouldn’t in heels. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, Tinsley loves a Disney themed fashion show. Maybe she’ll get her happily ever after. Ramona says they’re not her kind of clothes, but she appreciates the spectacle. Amanda Lepore takes a turn on the runway. Leah says she used to read Vogue all the time, and it’s what Tinsley was made to do; what she does best, back where she was in her heyday. Almost. In Sonja’s interview, she says Tinsley hasn’t had that spark recently, and it’s back. Garo says Tinsley turned it out, and everyone congratulates her. LuAnn says she’s back.
Backstage, LuAnn asks for a curling iron, accosting Lioc, who’s there for the models, but styles LuAnn’s hair. In her interview, LuAnn says she had to run home and change, and didn’t have time to do her hair. She used to be a model, so why not? Outside, John takes photos of Dorinda and the other woman. Ramona hogs the spotlight, insisting on posing with designer Pamela Roland, and literally pushing the people who were with her out of the way. Sonja tells LuAnn the show wasn’t for her age group, and LuAnn says the clothes were more in the not-in-her-taste group. Ramona bitches about how Tinsley left things at her Hamptons house. She tells Tinsley that she was upset by the way she left the room; she trashed it. There were soda cans and water bottles everywhere, and she stained Ramona’s duvet cover. In Tinsley’s interview, she says they’re not talking percale sheets. Ramona got them at Bed, Bath & Beyond. She’ll get Ramona a new one. She tells Ramona that she’s sorry; she’ll pay for it. They sit, but Leah isn’t there, which Ramona says is not cool. In Ramona’s interview, she says they have a great location for the fashion show. It’s a coveted thing to be in the front row. Sonja leaves messages for people about the models. She says she realized her staff wasn’t doing what she thought they were. In her interview, Ramona says she’s totally embarrassed. They’re in the front row, and Sonja should know better. It takes months of preparation for a three minute show. Can’t she put the phone away for three minutes? Sonja says she’s physically there, but mentally, she’s worried about her own show. In Dorinda’s interview, she thinks the Roland show made Sonja panic. She’s not as organized as she thought.
The women go to a restaurant. Ramona thinks she’s going to order oysters, and in her interview, Dorinda says, Ramona eating oysters is like watching a porn flick. And she guards them like Neptune’s treasure. LuAnn says Sonja was on her phone the whole time. Sonja, who’s still on her phone, says she has model fittings tomorrow. Ramona asks why that wasn’t done last week, and Sonja says, it’s the people she hired. Ramona suggests she let an intern do the work, and Sonja says, she has to negotiate prices. Nothing is free unless she gets it. She goes to sit on the side by herself, and Leah arrives. She says she needed a moment. She had a mental… not breakdown, a breakthrough. Ramona says it was rude not to show up. It was a coveted invite. Leah says her dad called, and said mother doesn’t want talk to her. Leah starts crying, and says, after a nine year period of not drinking, she decided to do it, and her mom is worried. Ramona wonders why Leah told her. In Leah’s interview, she says she texted her mom that she drank, and it’s not the end of the world. Her mom didn’t respond to her texts afterward, so she called her dad, and he said her mom is mad at her. Ramona says she’s afraid Leah will go to that deep dark place, and LuAnn asks how Leah feels about it. Leah says she has no regrets. She was in a good environment, and didn’t put herself in danger. The hangover sucks, but she thinks her mother is overreacting. LuAnn thinks talking to her wasn’t helpful. In her interview, Leah says her drinking is a trigger for her mom. She still views Leah as a wild teenager. It’s hard to accept she’s a thirty-seven year old who’s got their sh*t together. Ramona says she shouldn’t do things like that by text, but Leah says she’s a millennial. In Ramona’s interview, she says, a text is for, what time should I be there? or, I’m running late, not for this. Dorinda says she doesn’t tell her mother anything, and LuAnn says she keeps her mom in the dark. Tinsley says her mom wants the best for her, but gives her a list of what to do specifically. Like she didn’t want Tinsley’s hair curled for the show, and they got in an argument. In her interview, Leah say she wishes their argument was about the way she wears her hair, but she’s talking big life sh*t. Tinsley says she doesn’t need everyone’s advice. She can make her own decisions. Dorinda pantomimes taking out her brain. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s trying to be a compassionate human while listening to the argument about straight versus curly hair, but Mother Teresa couldn’t tolerate this. Ramona’s oysters come, and Dorinda asks if she only ordered for herself. Ramona says she asked if anyone wanted anything. Dorinda only listens when she wants to, because she’s more interested in hearing herself talk.
Leah meets with her Married to the Mob publicist Sloan. She says streetwear wasn’t even a term when she started. She paved the way, and fifteen years later, she’s still doing it. She wanted to wear men’s clothing lines, and thought she couldn’t be the only woman who didn’t like cutesy streetwear, so she made her own. She also hated having a boss, and got fired from every job. Sloan say she put herself in the middle of a man’s world. In Leah’s interview, she says, her type of feminism is to do whatever the boys do, but do it better. Her ex and baby daddy Rob arrives, and in her interview, she says, it’s hard for people to understand their relationship. It’s so unique. They’re basically an amazing married couple who don’t live in the same house or have sex. She tells him everything is all good, but he doesn’t think her drinking is a good idea. She asks if he thinks she’d do anything to put the life she’s worked hard for in jeopardy. He says drinking puts her on a self-destructive path. In Leah’s interview, she says Rob and her mom are like her two rocks in life. They’re both questioning her, and her mom isn’t talking to her. It’s upsetting. Rob says, it’s her prerogative, but if it starts affecting… She says they’re on the same page. He says her mother is their only helper, and they have to give her the respect she deserves. Leah gets weepy, and says she can’t believe they’re still not in a place of understanding. She’s never felt any approval from her mother, only judgement. Rob says, that’s what parents do.
Dorinda meets with stylist Luke. In her interview, she says Sonja sent everyone a couple of options, and she was lucky enough to get a Liza Minelli-esque jacket. She tells Luke. John never misses the opportunity to make bad decisions.He doesn’t think sometimes. In her interview, she says he knows she doesn’t like some of his lifestyle choices. There was a party he wanted to go to, even though she didn’t, and he went without her. We see a clip of that, and she says he disappeared. It doesn’t make her feel good, or have a sense of security and love. Clearly, if he’s not home with her, he’s not happy. Luke says people wondered where she was. It’s a bit of disrespect. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s transparent as a person. She’s not worried that John is doing something naughty, but the non-transparency runs deeper. She tells Luke that she thinks the relationship gets stunted. She hasn’t returned his calls for two days.
Sonja’s show is in two hours. She takes a selfie with her team, and thinks she looks like Phyllis Diller, but no one knows who that is. She’s unhappy with the floral arrangements, and in her interview, she says, fashion people are coming. They need gorgeous flowers. Stems would be better. This is an embarrassment. She calls LuAnn, who’s in San Diego. She already had a show booked in California this month. Sonja shows LuAnn the flower disaster, and has to go. In her interview, Sonja suggests everybody pull their heads out of their asses and figure out what’s going on. She yells at everyone, and says she doesn’t want them to think or ask anything.
Leah picks up Tinsley. Tinsley remarks that Leah isn’t wearing anything Sonja, and asks if Sonja didn’t send anything to her. She sent three different dresses over to Tinsley that she loved. What she’s wearing is really pretty; a mini dress with a nude underlay, and white knit flowers on top. Leah takes what looks like a sweat suit out of a bag, and shows Tinsley, saying, that’s not athleisure. It was all she sent, along with a hat. In Leah’s interview, she says she’s pretty sure Sonja is trying to send a message. We flash back to Leah screaming, 1985 is over. She tells Tinsley, there are also these, and puts on a pair of sunglasses. She asks where the crack pipe is, since only someone high on crack would wear this. In her interview, Tinsley says she doesn’t think Sonja is capable of purposely making Leah look stupid. She probably thought it would look cool.
Ramona says she doesn’t understand what Sonja is doing, since it’s not a designer, and the clothes are already made. Sonja yells at more people, and in her interview, she says, don’t let them see you sweat, but right now, she doesn’t care what they see. The guests come first. It’s to say thank you to their supporters and get good press. John surprises Dorinda, and in her interview, she says she didn’t know he was coming. If she’s not at a party, she doesn’t see him. There’s a disconnect that she can’t get her head around, and he doesn’t even seem to acknowledge it. Tinsley and Leah come in. Leah’s dress has a print of Lil’ Kim on it, who she says is her feminist icon. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she had a skirt with Chairman Mao on it. She gets the vibe that’s going on. It’s a gangstery thing. Ramona isn’t wearing Sonja either, because it didn’t fit; she couldn’t get it zipped. Leah says, Sonja wanted her to wear pajamas. She shows them the outfit. In Ramona’s interview, she says she wouldn’t wear it either. It’s a sweat outfit; something you walk the dog in. What was Sonja thinking? Dorinda asks what Leah did to deserve that.
In Dorinda’s interview, she says, come on. Sonja knew what she was doing. Dorinda would have cut that sh*t up, midriffed it, put on a great pair of heels, and walked the runway. The show starts. I like Sonja’s pieces. I’ve checked them out before, and they are actually affordable. Backstage, Sonja says the models are fantastic, and the clothes are beautiful and fit well. Every time a model goes by, Dorinda says, Leah could have worn that. Sonja thinks the show will help them continue their relationships with retailers, and says, it all comes together when it’s supposed to. In Leah’s interview, she says she’s in the fashion industry. She’s been going to Fashion Week shows since she was seventeen, when she babysat for the editor (oddly enough) of Seventeen magazine. She knows what a fashion show looks like, and this isn’t a fashion show. Tinsley says, there was no music, and there were no lights.
Sonja asks who it is on Leah’s dress. Beyonce? She asks, what happened to the cashmere two-piece? It’s her signature, and it was in Elle. Dorinda says, the dresses would have looked great on Leah. Leah says she thinks Sonja is full of sh*t, and she’s passive/aggressive. It’s like, she’s the Downtown one. Sonja is still mad at her from the Hamptons. In Sonja’s interview, she says she can’t believe they’re doing this now. It’s her moment. She’s never giving Leah a gift again. Does Leah really think she has to time to be passive/aggressive and think it out? Sonja says she gave it to Leah in a nice bag, and Leah says, it was a paper bag that had been ripped open. Sonja asks where the sunglasses are, but there’s never an answer to this. Hmm… In her interview, Sonja says she didn’t think Leah would like a frilly dress. She’s never seen her in one, and her dresses are kind of fancy. Leah says she tried the sweats on, and she looked crazy. Sonja immediately has a couple of her people help her out of whatever it is she’s wearing, and puts on the sweats. She comes galumphing out, wearing the hat as well, and shakes her groove thing in Leah’s face. Leah says, how can she be mad at Sonja? In her interview, she says, it’s hard to stay mad when Sonja is prancing around looking like a pimp in pajamas.
Next time, LuAnn meets with Jacques (remember him?), Leah says Dorinda that she’s scary, LuAnn tells her audience that she never hooked up with the pirate, and LuAnn drinks some vodka.
🌮 On Top Chef, Stephanie felt bad, as she was the only Padma’s Angel left. Bryan said, being in the bottom was extremely motivating. I’ll bet. We saw a clip of Last Chance Kitchen, where Karen won, and would be joining them. The Quickfire challenge was a taco throwdown for Danny Trejo (Machete, and a million other things, also one of my favorites). Along with being in films, he also owns Trejo Tacos and a donut shop. They were to make the perfect taco for him, and he told them to be creative. The box was lifted to reveal machetes, the only knife the chefs would be allowed to use. There would be immunity this time, but Padma said, from there on out, it was off the table. Most of the chefs made a fish taco of some kind. I’ve never had a fish taco, which is surprising because I love fish. I don’t know why, but I’m skeptical of them. After all the tacos were tasted, Danny said he’d buy every one of them. The bottom two were Gregory, for excessive saltiness (in his dish, not him), and Eric, whose portion size was skimpy. The chef who had everything Danny wanted in a taco was Stephanie. In her interview, she said she’d been waiting to win… something. Everyone would think she was a badass now, cooking with a machete.
The chefs were reminded that Restaurant Wars would be next week, but the battle was beginning now. The guest judges for the elimination challenge were, restaurateur KevinBoehm, and Top Chef winner and restaurant owner Stephanie Izard. The challenge was to make it through the pitch, presenting the concept and the menu using a mood board, and making one or two dishes that were an example of the restaurant. They had to pitch and sell their idea, and the two favorites would be the restaurants in the war.
The restaurant concepts were, Kevin, with Country Captain, featuring Southern fare; Eric, with Middle Passage, featuring African cuisine; Gregory, with Kann, featuring Haitian woodfire cooking; Bryan V., with Thatcher and the Rye, he said accessible so much, I had no idea what his concept was supposed to be; Karen, with Three Black Crows, featuring modern dim sum; Lee Anne, with Hanai Mama, featuring Hawaiian food – she also explained that hanai meant adopted. We continued with, Stephanie, who presented Lucy C.’s, featuring modern, elevated comfort food (Lucy was her dog); Brian full of Malarkey presented Baja Asian, a combination that isn’t supposed to be together, but can’t help it (no surprise, his was the most dramatic of the presentations); and finally, Melissa with Sabrina, featuring modern Asian California food. She’d named the restaurant after her grandmother, who saw life in a romantic way. It’s how she wanted her food to be. Gregory pointed out that they had to be both great cooks and great salesmen for the challenge.
At the Judges’ Table, the favorites were Gregory, Kevin, Brian full of Malarkey, and Melissa. The judges said they could picture themselves eating at the restaurant, as well as the restaurant being successful. The big winners were Kevin, with Country Kitchen, and Gregory with Kann. The judges wanted to see their restaurants come to life.
On the downside were Eric, Lee Anne, and Stephanie, which we saw coming. She’d never even envisioned a restaurant for herself. The judges said she had no concept, and Stephanie had to agree. She had no focus. What she did have was immunity, so she was asked to step aside. Tom said Eric’s idea of casual, accessible food, but upscale dishes had a disconnect. The duck was overcooked, and the judges agreed his food fell short. Gail said it was so salty, it drowned out what he was trying to do. Lee Anne was told her concept wasn’t strong enough, and she admitted she hadn’t picked the right things to express it. Padma said they were both good chefs, but it was Eric’s turn to pack his knives and go. In his interview, Eric said he was disappointed in himself, and this taught him a new level of humility. He said he was still a student, and learned, not just from the judges, but everyone around him. He was hoping to redeem himself in Last Chance Kitchen.
Next time, the restaurant concepts come to life. It looks like a lot of chaos.
🏕 The advertisement for Camp Getaway said it was the opposite of adulting. That worries me. And don’t we have that already with Summer House?
🌼 Tra-La It’s May…
You’re here, Friday’s here, spring is springing, get out there if you can. See you later on the Shahside, when the season comes to a close. Except for a one or two episode of the dreaded reunion, where everyone talks at once and old wounds are opened. That AndyCohen is an evil genius, I tell you. Stay safe, stay ready for anything, and stay (virtually) wild.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
I missed the first couple of minutes, but it was mostly a replay of the end of yesterday’s show, and Sam harangued Brando some more about Molly.
Brando asks Sam if Molly knows she’s making ultimatums on her behalf. She says, stay away from Molly.
Lulu runs into Crimson, and Nina says, Valentin is with Charlotte in her office. She asks Lulu to give him a chance to make it right. Charlotte asks if Valentin still loves her, and he says, with all his heart. She says, then take her away. They can be together, the way it’s supposed to be. He says, it’s not that simple, but she says they can run right now, and no one can stop them.
At the MetroCourt, Nelle tells Willow, she didn’t mean to eavesdrop. She wants to apologize. Willow asks, for what? and Nelle says, it was rude when she said Willow meant nothing to Wiley. Willow asks, which time? and Nelle says, all of them, but especially at Crimson. Nina helped her realize that they’re just two mothers who had their children cruelly taken from them. Willow says, forgive her if she doesn’t want to form a support group, and Nelle says, now Chase is throwing Willow away like he did to her. She wondered how she could be so stupid to fall for him, but under that gorgeous face and sweet veneer, is a liar and a seducer. He’s an expert at seducing vulnerable women.
Michael tells Carly, he found Chase and Sasha together. Carly says, as in sleeping together? and he says, it had been going on a while. He and Willow were so focused on Wiley and the custody fight, Sasha and Chase turned to each other. Carly says, so Chase and Sasha were jealous and angry that he and Willow were spending time with Wiley. He says Carly told him not to get in too deep with Sasha, but Carly says she doesn’t think she said that. He says she did, and she was right.
Brando tells Sam, he let Molly know that TJ won’t hear from him; it’s not his place. Since Sam decided to insert herself in their business, he asks if Molly is going to be coming clean. Sam says Molly is an honest person, so she assumes so. Brando says, she’s honest, but didn’t tell him that she had a boyfriend. Sam says Molly thought she was single, and was heartbroken. She’d never sleep with someone like him. He says Sam doesn’t know him, and she says she knows he hurt Kristina’s feelings. He says, he apologized, and she should stop butting into things that are none of her business. Sam says Molly is her sister, and he says, she’s an adult. Sam says she doesn’t care. She’ll always protect Molly. He says, even if Molly doesn’t want her to?
Molly says there’s nothing Kristina can say that will convince her the truth isn’t the right thing, but Kristina says, why risk everything for a one-night stand that didn’t mean anything? Molly says, their relationship is built on honesty, and she has to be honest for it to work. It will be written all over her face anyway, and if she gets caught keeping a secret, it’s not worth it. Kristina thinks Molly confessing is a way to make herself feel better, at TJ’s expense.
Valentin tells Charlotte, neither one of them is going anywhere, but she won’t see him for a while. She says, because she’s bad? but he says, she’s a good girl. She says she wants things like they were when she was little; just the two of them. He loved her then. He says he loves her now, and always will. They hug, and she asks why he won’t fight for her. He flashes back to telling Charlotte that he wishes she’d never been involved, and he’s sorry. She says, it’s not his fault. It’s Nikolas and Ava’s fault, and Sasha for lying. And mommy too. She doesn’t like him, and didn’t want him and Nina to be happy. He’s going to fix it, right? Find a way to get Windymere back, and make Nina love him again. Then they can have their happily ever after.
Nina asks Lulu if she has any idea why Charlotte was so upset, and Lulu says she thinks Charlotte overheard her talking to Laura about Valentin choosing not to fight her custody petition. It was a shock. Her mom thinks he’s sincere, but she still doesn’t trust him. Valentin comes out with Charlotte, and Lulu hugs her, saying, she was so worried. Charlotte can’t run off like that again. Charlotte says she couldn’t let papa leave her. He’d do anything to keep them together. Lulu says she knows he would, and Charlotte says she had to show him that she would too.
Willow tells Nelle, go to hell. Nelle says, she’s just trying… and Willow says, to manipulate her, like she did Chase and her mom? She knows who Nelle is. She murdered her first fiancé, and tried to murder Michael. When it didn’t work, she left Michael to die in a burning car. If there’s one thing Brad is telling the truth about, it’s that Nelle gave him her baby. Nelle wanted Lucas to keep him, so Michael wouldn’t have him. She used Willow’s dead child like a prop, to convince Michael that their child was dead. Nelle says, all’s well that ends well. Sasha is more Chase’s type anyway. Willow says, goodbye, and walks out.
Finn asks what makes Chase think that Willow and Michael will get married? and Chase says, because as sure as Finn was that he was lying, he’s positive once the road is clear, Willow will follow her heart straight to Wiley. Finn sighs, and says, bro, bro, bro. He guesses Chase’s intentions are honorable. Chase thanks him, and says, just so he knows, Sasha has been incredibly stand-up. She’s no happier than he is, but they agreed Wiley’s safety comes first. Finn says Chase isn’t going to like what he has to say. His intentions are good, but his method stinks. He made a huge mistake.
Valentin tells Charlotte, there’s a right and wrong way to keep a family together. Charlotte asks what the right way is, and he says they have to figure that out. They’ll always be family, even if they don’t see each other for a while. She doesn’t want him to go away, and he asks if she remembers when he went away on long trips. Claudette would take care of her, and he always came back. She says, what if he doesn’t come back this time? and he says, impossible. He would miss her too much. Loving her keeps his heart beating. She says, hers too, and Lulu asks to speak to Charlotte. Charlotte says, no, he can’t leave, but Valentin says he’s staying right there; he promises. Has he ever broken a promise to her? Charlotte shakes her head, and Valentin goes out to the reception area. Lulu says she needs to ask Charlotte a question, and Charlotte needs to be totally honest. She won’t be in trouble. Did she hear Lulu and her grandmother talking?
Valentin thanks Nina for calling, and Nina says, of course (🍷). She’s sorry Charlotte is going through this. He says, he is too, and she says, Lulu said he’s not fighting her petition for full custody. He says, he’s not, and she says, wow. She never thought he’d give up on his daughter.
Sam tells Brando, Molly likes to see the best in people; she’s more realistic. She knows he’s been locked up. He says, that makes two of them, but he’s completely free, legally speaking. Isn’t she on parole? Now he gets it. She asks what he thinks he gets, and he says, this isn’t about Molly. It’s about her and Jason
Kristina asks Molly, if TJ had called, and said he was angry and needed time, would she have slept with Brando? Molly says, of course (🍷) not, but TJ didn’t ghost her. He was taken against his will. Kristina says, she had no way of knowing that. Did she sleep with Brando to get back at TJ? Molly says, no, and Kristina asks why she did it. Molly says because she was tired of feeling frustrated and angry, and Brando made her laugh; it felt good. Kristina says that’s exactly her point. It had nothing to do with TJ. There’s no reason tell him. TJ walks in, and says, tell him what? Ha-ha! I love soap moments like that.
Kristina says, her future domestic-partner-in-law. Molly told them the big news, and she’s so happy. He’s now stuck with the Davis sisters forever. He says, that’s been the plan for a while. Molly says she wasn’t expecting him to show up, and he says, that was the idea; he wanted to surprise her. He picked up her car. He knows how hard it’s been for her, and how lonely she must have felt. Molly says she’s been a bit of a mess, and Kristian says, was she ever. TJ says, something is wrong, but Molly says, no. He’s there now. He says the way she was looking at him… She says, sorry. It’s just the past few days have been surreal. He says, they’re together now, and he’s going to do everything to prove they’ll stay together from now on.
Sam asks what Brando could possibly know about her and Jason. He says Josslyn said they can’t be together because of her being on parole. She says, that’s none of his business, and he says, like what happened between him and Molly not being hers. How about if they find their own business? He needs to get back to work. She says, don’t dismiss her; she’s not done. He says, he’s done. She’s welcome to watch him work. She tells him something about the mechanics of a nearby bike, and he asks if she’s a bike expert.
Valentin tells Nina, she’s said things to him that he’s earned, but she knows better. He’d never give up his daughter. She says, then fight for her; stay in her life. He says he’s trying to do the right thing. He’s a bad influence, and has to keep his distance. She says, he could do that, or he can be a better man.
Charlotte tells Lulu, she came down for a snack, and heard them talking about papa. Lulu wishes Charlotte had told her that she was there, but Charlotte says Lulu never wants to talk about papa in front of her. She always changes the subject.
Michael tells Carly, he loves Sasha, and thought what they had was real. She says she thinks it was real, but doesn’t think Sasha is the woman he needed. He thinks she’s right. The whole Wiley situation blindsided them both. Sasha wasn’t ready for an instant family, and consciously or subconsciously, she got out. Carly says, they’ll get him through this. He’ll get custody of Wiley, and find the woman he deserves. She hugs him.
Molly says she has to call Sam; she was going to pick up the car. TJ says he ran into her, and she knows he has it. He was surprised to see her. He figured they’d still be talking. Kristina says, they have busy lives. Her lunch break is over; can she get them anything? TJ says, a veggie burger and fries, and asks if Molly wants something. Molly says, now that she has the car back, she has to run errands. He asks if she wants company, but she tells him, enjoy his burger. She’s going to the library to pick up a law book, and maybe she’ll research some precedents. He says, remember, be home by dinner. They start to kiss, and Kristina says, a veggie burger and fries coming up. TJ says he loves Molly, and she says she loves him too.
Brando tells Sam, he’s not there to cause trouble; the opposite. She asks what that would be? Solving people’s problems? He says he’s staying there to help cover for Dev because Sonny wants him to. She asks what exactly is he getting out of the deal, the garage? He says he has no ulterior motive, and she says, everything was out of the kindness of his heart. Sam says she’s calling a car, and getting the hell out of there. He says, she doesn’t have her own car? but she says she came to pick up Molly. Hers is in the shop, if he must know. He hopes she’s satisfied with the service. If she is, they never have to cross paths again.
Nina says Valentin has done terrible things. He can be a better man, and stay in Charlotte’s life. Be the positive influence she needs, instead of proving you walk away when the going gets tough. He says he’s trying to do right by his daughter, but Nina says, she’s a little girl. She won’t see it that way. He says he’s lived a life fueled by resentment, but she says he’s capable of great love. He’s not sure he is, and she says, he’s Charlotte’s papa. She’ll love him unconditionally for the rest of her life. He says, she’ll see he’s trying to do the right thing, and Nina says, she’ll see what it’s costing him. It doesn’t have to be that way. The right thing he has planned is just wrong. He says, she’s right, and she says, of course (🍷) she is. The one time he’s trying to be noble, he’s screwing it up.
Charlotte tells Lulu, she said papa was walking away for her own good, and said she was glad. Lulu says she’s so sorry, but Charlotte heard part of a grown-up conversation she didn’t understand. She wishes Charlotte had talked to her, instead of running. Charlotte says Lulu didn’t ask how she feels. She doesn’t care that Charlotte misses him every minute.
Carly asks if there’s anything she can do for Michael, and he says she already did. She listened and didn’t judge. She says he didn’t do anything wrong, and he says he can’t afford any more mistakes. He feels like he’s jumping out of his skin. The custody situation is in limbo, and he doesn’t know what Nelle will do next. He’s got to do something. She suggests he go for a run; clear his head. He says, good idea, and she says he should always take her advice. Carly flashes back to calling Sasha a con artist, and saying she thought Sasha was different. She remembers telling Sasha that she’s willing to give her a second chance, but make the most of it. She doesn’t give a third when her kids are involved. I guess Carly forgot to flash back to when Sasha told her about how she’d be willing to step aside for Michael to marry Willow.
Chase tells Finn that when he said he was glad Finn was there, he was wrong. He opens the door, and says, get out. Finn asks if love and family aren’t about being honest, no matter how difficult. He read that somewhere. Chase asks if Finn doesn’t see how hard this is for him. He loves Willow, and hated breaking her heart, and his was torn to shreds in the process. Finn says he should have told Willow what was at stake, and let her make up her own mind. He can’t make those decisions for her. She has to make her own choices. Chase says, it’s too late. It’s over; done. Finn says Chase has to find her, and tell her the truth. If he comes clean, he’ll have a chance to save the relationship. Chase says he doesn’t know, and Finn says, there’s only one way to find out, and no time like the present. He needs to move on this. The longer the lie festers, the smaller the chance he has of winning her back. Chase says, Wiley needs Willow, and Finn says, let her decide how to help him. It’s not fair to her, Michael, or Wiley if her decision is based on a lie. Go find her and fix this.
Michael gets ready to run in the park. He flashes back to telling Sasha, he’s had the best time of his life on the island because of her, as they bask in the afterglow. He remembers telling her that he loves her, and her saying she loves him too. He thinks about her saying that she felt shut out, and she and Chase were commiserating. She never wanted to hurt him, but didn’t know how to tell him. She was wrong, but she can’t stand watching him hate her. He begins his run.
Sasha goes to the MetroCourt bar, and Nelle says, proceed at her own risk. Carly is going to strike Sasha down for cheating on her precious son. She might save herself from the humiliation of being thrown out, and leave on her own. Sasha tells her to find someone who cares, and Nelle says, it saved her lawyer a phone call. He wants Sasha to be a character witness against Michael. After what happened, she can’t be staying at the Quartermaines. Did she move in with Chase? Where can Nelle reach her? Sasha says she can’t believe what a bitch Nelle is, and Nelle says she thinks Sasha’s been warned. All of this from a backstabbing, boyfriend stealing slut. Nelle walks away, and sees Carly coming. She says she heard Michael had his heart broken again. She’ll talk to Carly soon.
Valentin tells Nina, it kills him to think he’s abandoning Charlotte, and Nelle says, show her that she’s wrong. He says he hopes he gets the chance, and she says, the Valentin she knows doesn’t wait for a chance; he makes one. He says, the old him that she told him not to be? She says, be the Valentin she knows. Lulu comes out with Charlotte, and says she and Valentin need to talk.
A car horn blows, and Sam says, it must be her ride. Brando says, don’t be a stranger. Molly walks in, and says, Sam is still there? Why? Sam asks what Molly is doing there, but Brando thinks Molly has the better question. Why doesn’t Sam answer her? Molly says, this saved her the trouble of telling them separately. She’s decided not to tell TJ about their night together. Brando say, it’s her business. He already told her that he won’t say anything. She thanks him, and Sam says she has a car waiting, if Molly wants to walk out with her. Molly tells her, go ahead. She wants to talk to Brando for a second. Sam says she’ll check in on Molly, and Molly says she knows Sam will. Sam leaves, and Brando asks if there’s something Molly needs to say.
Nina suggests she and Charlotte look at pictures from the shoot. Charlotte can help her pick some out for the spread. Charlotte says, they’ve been in there forever, but Nina says, they haven’t, and asks Charlotte to come over there. They have to take their time, because they’re talking about the most important thing in the world – her. Charlotte says, that should be a no-brainer. Nina laughs, and says she wants Charlotte to understand that, whatever their decision, it’s because they love her. Charlotte says she understands, but she doesn’t have to like it. Nina says, she doesn’t, but whatever they decide, she’ll always be there for Charlotte, no matter what. They hug, and Valentin and Lulu come out of Nina’s office. Charlotte says, well? and Lulu says, time to go home. Charlotte asks what about Valentin? and he says he’ll pick her up tomorrow. They have some riding to do. She says he’s not going away? and he says, never. Lulu says, they’ll be better. Charlotte deserves to be loved be both parents. Charlotte hugs both of them, and Valentin smiles at Nina.
Molly serves TJ his meal, and asks if he’s okay. He asks how Molly seems to her, and she says he sees her more. What does he think? He says, to be honest, she seems a little shaky. She’s usually strong and steady, but since he got back… Kristina says, from being kidnapped. Molly thought he’d ghosted her, and was heartbroken. Then to find out what really happened… She knows it’s hard for him to imagine. Molly is strong, but she was lost without him. He’s her rock, and she thought she’d lost him forever. He’s sorry Molly had to go through that, but Kristina says, it’s not his fault, which is good. They don’t have to hate him forever. He says it’s good he was kidnapped? and she says, understand the silver lining. He and Molly have their whole lives ahead. Put the past behind them, and move on. TJ says, agreed. There’s nothing he’d like to do more than look forward to the future with Molly.
Molly hopes Sam wasn’t too hard on Brando, but he says he can take it. He doesn’t want to be on Sam’s bad side. She says, definitely not, and he says, Sam is her big sister, and family is supposed to look out for each other. She says, it’s one thing the Davises are good at. He tells her, no reason to worry. He’s not going to say anything. She says, one more thing she wanted to be clear about. She made her own choices that night. Everything she did, she wanted to do. He didn’t take advantage of her, but it can never happen again. He says he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Nothing happened between them. She thanks him, and says, for what it’s worth, she’s sorry. He says, nice knowing her.
Sasha tells Carly, before she says anything… Carly says she spoke to her son. He blames himself for what happened, but she wants Sasha to know she blames her.
Michael slows down, and stops. Nelle appears, and says, bad day? Does he want to talk about it?
Chase looks at a picture of him and Willow. He says, find her and fix this. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Willow, and he says, it feels weird having her knock. She says, it feels weird to knock. She won’t stay long. She’s just picking up her stuff. She starts to go into the bedroom, and he says, Willow…?
Tomorrow, Sonny has something to tell everyone, Julian tells Brook to stay out of his bar, Michael says he’ll never trust Nelle, and Carly asks why Sasha cheated on her son.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Tonight’s show began with PK making extremely important decisions from his hot tub. Apparently, there are his and hers hot tubs at their house. Mauricio and the kids welcomed Kyle home from NYC. She didn’t exactly relax, immediately getting ready to have sixteen people for dinner. Erika rehearsed for Chicago, and said her mother’s critical voice in her head always interfered with her psyche. In the picture they showed of Erika with her mother, her mother looked stern and unyielding, like a retired nun, or a Nazi. According to Erika, she acted like one too, but Erika said at least she was honest.
Teddi disagreed with LisaR on whether Amelia should come home from NYC, but didn’t want to call LisaR’s parenting skills into question. In Teddi’s interview, she said she’d wanted to come home from L.A. when she was younger, and her parents told her to say there. I understood this, since there was a moment I’d wanted to leave NYC, and go back home, and my father suggested I stay put. We got a glimpse inside the gift bags Sutton passed out last week, and it included a clutch worth almost $2K. How do I get on the next gift bag list? Sutton told Teddi that she’d be coming to Teddi’s retreat, and hoped Teddi gave a sh*t. Sutton thought Teddi’s I-don’t-care-if-you-come-or-not invite wasn’t the right approach with girlfriends, and in LisaR’s interview, she said it was fun to rile Teddi up; it didn’t take much.
Denise was still recovering from her hernia operation, and said she was used to sucking it up; it’s how she was raised. The morally corrupt Faye Resnick was at Kyle’s party, and Garcelle arrived wearing the most amazing tulle high/low ballet skirt. When dinner was served, I started wondering why there always has to be a foam of some kind. I don’t want any food foam on my plater. Every time I hear it, it makes my stomach turn a little. Kyle thanked her husband for doing a stellar job holding down the fort. LisaR got the bright idea to play a game by telling the person to their left what their first impression was of them. It was a mutual admiration society until they got to Sutton, who said she thought Teddi would be boring, and she was pregnant, God help us. But then she found that Teddi had more depth than she’d thought. She added she thought it was strange for Teddi to tell everyone she didn’t care if they came to her retreat, and this was the final straw for Teddi, who started crying, which prompted several of the women to gather around and hug her. The guys all looked at their plates, and Edwin said all she heard was boring. Mauricio said she was going to magnify the word all night, and it would be like a Pacman. Sutton said she was sorry to offend Teddi, and in LisaR’s interview, she said, what you see is what you get with Sutton.
Kyle asked Aaron about what he did, which prompted a long and rambling speech about the splitting of atoms being able to cause a nuclear reaction, when we couldn’t cure cancer. At first, I thought he must have gotten stoned with Mauricio, but I deciphered he had something to do with alternative medicine, and was against Big Pharma. Denise said people were following them, who didn’t want Aaron publishing his results, and in her interview, Garcelle said it started off awkward, and went to bizarre, and then more bizarre. Denise finally told Aaron to quit talking about it, and everyone guessed the sex of Teddi’s baby. The general consensus was a boy, but we saw a clip of the reveal party where the confetti was pink. Teddi told them they were wrong; it was going to be a girl. Denise apologized, and she and Aaron left, and Kyle announced it was time for Fireball.
Sutton told Kyle, she thought Teddi was pissed at her, but Kyle said if Sutton was being honest, then she was cool. In Kyle’s interview, she said she sensed Sutton felt intimidated by all the women. I got the feeling Sutton wasn’t used to there being zero etiquette at a party. We saw clips of Kyle rocking it out afterward, and Mauricio filming her doing the splits. The next day, Sutton got together with Kyle, and said she’d felt picked on. Kyle said she’d wanted everyone to get to know one another, but it went awry. At lunch, Erika asked how Teddi really felt about Sutton coming to her retreat, and Teddi said she didn’t want Sutton there. For being the only one not holding a diamond, Sutton sure gets a lot of screen time. And from the preview, apparently Sutton goes to the retreat, and LisaR picks on Kyle at dinner.
Aaron had the best quote: if you live up here for a while, you want to drink tequila.
Rather than being the great equalizer celebrities have touted, it’s more like the pandemic widened the divide. While I begrudge no one a lavish lifestyle, I’m tired of celebrities having undue influence. Just stick to entertaining, dammit.
As we get close to another (what’s a) weekend, it looks like restrictions are starting to be lifted. I hope you kept your job, or at least your sanity, and have used the time to hone a useful skill, like calligraphy, or solo beer pong. Stay safe, stay smart, and stay ready for not having to stay.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
On the phone, Nina says she got permission to shoot at the fine art museum. Call her when it’s confirmed. In the meantime, try to keep dry. Jax says it sounds like she’s in crisis mode, and she says, it’s raining on the tropical island where they’re shooting. She had to go to plan B. He asks if there’s anything he can do to help. She says he can give her a hug, and he says he can give her more than that. He hugs her, and says, Nelle isn’t helping? Did Nina take his suggestion and fire her? Nina says, no. She sent Nelle on some errands. She didn’t want Nelle telling tales out of school, or talking to The Invader. He asks, what kind of tales? and she says, surprise, surprise. Sasha cheated on Michael. Since he’s Sonny’s son, it’s sure to be news.
Alexis sees Valentin at the MetroCourt bar, and she says they have to quit meeting like this. He looks like he just lost his best friend. He says he has, but she’s better off without him.
Lulu tells Laura, after fighting tooth and nail, she thinks Valentin is going to give up Charlotte? Laura says she only knows what Valentin told her. Laura flashes back to Valentin saying she’s a good person, and Charlotte needs her to learn right from wrong, and be a steady force in her life. Laura says she’s tried to provide that, and he tells her, what he’s trying to say is, he needs her to teach Charlotte to be good. Clearly, he can’t do that. Lulu tells Laura, she knows how manipulative Valentin can be, but Laura says, this is different. She saw him at the MetroCourt after Violet’s birthday party. Lulu says, when Laura was advocating for him? and Laura says, when she was advocating for Charlotte. Valentin pulled her aside, and said the most extraordinary thing. She’s not sure if she believed him. Lulu says, so tell her, and Laura says, he said he wanted her to look after Charlotte, and made it sound like he was going to walk away from her for her own good. Charlotte hears them talking.
Brando tells TJ, as soon as he runs the card, TJ is good to go. The keys are in the car. TJ says, hold on. Something is wrong.
At Charlie’s, Sam asks if Molly got in an accident, and Molly says she went over a curb. The car was making a weird noise, and she didn’t want to drive it home in case she caused more damage. Sam asks why she didn’t call, and Molly says, she was fine, and there was a garage half a block away. It was closed, but the mechanic let her in. She was speed talking, like she is now, but worse. She asked him if he could do the work, and he said he could, or he could keep it overnight if she wanted to take it to the dealer. He went out of his way not to take advantage of her. Sam says, nice guy, and Molly says, very. They just met him. Brando Corbin.
Sonny says, Cyrus took his best shot and missed. Why doesn’t he crawl back in the hole he came from? Otherwise, there will be a war. Cyrus says he can’t go back to Seattle empty handed, and Sonny says, it will show weakness to his organization, and Cyrus will be at risk. What they’re left with is a nuclear option. Sonny starts to walk away, and Cyrus says, wait. He has a counteroffer that will work for both of them. Sonny says he’s listening.
Chase comes home, and is hit with the fact Willow is gone. He flashes back to Willow dressed up, waiting for him, and saying, wine guy come through. He tells her not to come near him until he showers, but she says she’ll risk it, and kisses him. Alone again, there’s a knock at the door, and Chase opens it to find Finn, who says he thinks he needs an explanation. Chase left Violet’s party before she even opened his present. She loved it. Chase says he’s glad, but it’s a bad time. Not because of Finn. Finn says, it’s obvious Chase isn’t his annoyingly upbeat self. Tell him what’s going on. Chase says he cheated on Willow. Willow found out, and now he’s lost her.
Valentin says, Alexis has handled custody cases before, and she says, it’s not a good time, but she’ll be happy to recommend someone. He says he’s not looking for representation. He’s not planning on challenging Lulu’s petition for sole custody. Alexis says she thought he and Lulu would be fighting until Charlotte was old enough to have children of her own, but he says, Charlotte needs stability and permanence in her life. Alexis says, so he’s giving up on her? She thought Valentin adored her. He says, she’s not such a little girl anymore, and she’s seen some regrettable behavior on his part. Alexis says, she’ll get over it. She’s made mistakes in life – a lot actually – but her children are grounded. She can’t imagine life without them. He says he can’t imagine life without Charlotte, but he’s not doing this for him. He’s doing it for her. He has to find the strength to walk away and not look back.
Jax tells Nina, Michael believed in Sasha, and stood by her. It must have been hard to find out he was wrong. Nina says, even worse, it could affect Michael’s custody fight. He says, it makes no sense; they seemed genuinely happy, and crazy about each other. Nina says, Sasha has a way of making people believe what she wants them to, and Michael was determined to believe she was a fallen angel, who needed his love and support. She tried to warn him. Sasha is weak at best, and an opportunist at worst. Jax says, and Nina still misses her.
Cyrus says he and Sonny can have the peace they both want. He won’t threaten Sonny’s turf or family. Sonny says, in return for what? and Cyrus says he won’t interfere with Sonny’s business, if Sonny doesn’t interfere with his. All he asks is an opportunity to put down roots in Port Charles. Sonny asks, what’s the attraction? and Cyrus says, after so many wrongful years in prison, he craves fresh air, sunlight, and a home where it’s quiet and friendly. Jason asks if that includes the sniper watching from the rooftop. Sonny asks if this is how Cyrus wants it to go down.
Kristina asks Molly, if it’s the Brando who thinks she’s an idiot who fell for mumbo jumbo. Sam says, he was talking about the cult thing, and Kristina says, Molly slept with him? Molly says Kristina was just proud of what she did, and Kristina says she is. It was human and healthy. Molly says, she’s not proud, and Sam says, she was hurting, and Brando happened to be in the right place at the wrong time. It was just one night, right? And she still wants TJ. Molly says, more than anything, and Sam says, good. She heard Brando say Molly could pick up the car. She’s sure Molly doesn’t want to see Brando again, and Molly says, never. Sam says, she’ll pick up the car for Molly, and Molly asks her to promise she won’t say anything. Sam says she’s not going to kick Brando, but maybe she’ll kick the tires.
Brando asks TJ, what’s wrong? and TJ says, the parts and labor barely cover the cost of the repairs. He wonders if Brando confused Molly with another customer, but Brando says he gives a discount to first time customers. It keeps them coming back. TJ hopes Molly just comes back for an oil change next time. He thanks Brando for not taking advantage by doing unnecessary work, and Brando says Molly was worried about TJ being in the hospital. TJ says he’s going to be off the crutches soon. He wonders what Molly told Brando, since she had her accident before he went to the hospital.
Charlotte listens to Lulu and Laura talking. Lulu says she and Valentin have been fighting since she found out Charlotte was her daughter. What made him back down? Something happened. Laura says, it must have, for him to think Charlotte would be better off without him. Charlotte flashes back to telling Valentin that she saw him push Ava off the parapet. Lulu says, if Valentin wasn’t convinced after Charlotte was kidnapped, she can’t imagine what changed his mind. Laura says, her either. He didn’t confide the reason for his change of heart. Lulu says, assuming he has a heart, and Laura says, that’s not fair. He’s a flawed man, but he loves Charlotte. Putting her happiness and well-being ahead of his own is the true test a real parent.
Alexis wonders what brought about Valentin’s decision to abandon his child. He asks what’s with her concern; should he be worried? She says, it’s nothing to be concerned about, and he says, the lady doth protest too much. She’s working hard to cover up something. If she wants to talk, he can listen. She flashes back to Sam telling her that she should have questioned the whole system; then the board would have questioned it too. Sam asks if Neil makes Alexis happy, and why the hell Alexis didn’t fight for him? Alexis tells Sam, it wasn’t an option, and Sam asks if that’s because it was too difficult, and she was afraid she’d be in trouble. She was never scared before, and used to be Sam’s hero. Alexis remembers taking a drink.
Nina tells Jax, when they met, who she thought Sasha was, wasn’t who she really was. Jax says, if she wants help finding her real daughter, let him know. She asks him to stop trying to solve her problems. He doesn’t try to control her, and supports and bolsters her, but she spent a lot of time and effort learning how to stand on her own two feet, and count on herself. And she does for the most part. He says, absolutely; no question about that. She says, all of his offers to help and sweep her off her feet are super tempting, but it’s like being offered the best desert after every meal. She wants to say yes, but knows she’d wind up regretting it. So she only says yes on special occasions. He asks if they can make this a special occasion, but she says, it doesn’t seem special. He kisses her.
Chase tells Finn, remember last Thanksgiving, when he told Finn that Willow might be pregnant? He and Willow got to talking, and he realized Willow was practically ready to have a family. It freaked him out. Willow had Wiley in her life, but then she found out he wasn’t her biological son. He was terrified that losing both her son and Wiley would break her. Then she started hanging out with Michael and Wiley every waking moment. He knew Sasha was in the same boat, and they got to talking about what they could do about the situation. One thing led to another… Finn says, and they slept together. Chase says they swore it would never happen again, but it did, and it kept happening. When Sasha was with him, she was actually with him; it felt as if he had her full attention, and he knows she felt the same way. They got careless, and Willow walked in on them. And that, as they say, is that. It’s over. Finn says, wow. That has to be the biggest load of crap he’s ever heard. Does Chase want to tell him what really happened?
Lulu knows Laura is no pushover. What did Valentin say to convince her that he was putting Charlotte first? Laura tells her, it’s not so much what he said as the state he was in. He’s a good actor, and she’s a good judge of character. Losing Nina, Windymere, and his association with the Cassadines changed him. How could it not? Lulu says, it’s the same Valentin who shot Nikolas, and Laura says, the brother Lulu can’t forgive for surviving. Lulu tells her, stay on topic. Valentin would do anything for Charlotte, but to just walk away makes no sense. Laura says, maybe walking away is doing anything for Charlotte. Maybe he loves her that much.
Jax suggests he and Nina take the afternoon off, and go to his place. She looks at her desk, and he says, nothing but work there. He steers her face back to him, and says, nothing but fun here. Charlotte runs in, and yells at Jax to leave Nina alone. Nina asks how she got there, and charlotte says, Nina and her papa have to get back together, and she needs it to happen today.
Cyrus tells Jason, very perceptive, but the man on the roof is just a precaution in case Sonny has his own man on the opposite roof. Sonny says he has all the back-up he needs right there, and Cyrus says, of course (🍷), and waves his guy off. He asks Sonny, satisfied? He’d like to proceed with the negotiation. Sonny says he has an offer; take it or leave it. One time only.
Brando tells TJ, he ran into Molly at Kelly’s and she mentioned the hospital. He’s glad TJ is doing well. TJ thanks him for fixing the car. Sam comes in, and TJ asks if she brought her car in too. She says, no. She thought she’d do Molly a favor, and pick up her car. She’s assuming TJ beat her to it. She asks if everything is okay, and TJ says Brando just made himself a customer. He took care of Molly with a special deal. Sam says, really?
Lulu looks at a picture of Charlotte, and tells Laura, she never doubted Valentin’s love for Charlotte; it’s how he shows it. When his and Nina’s wedding went south, he snuck out with Charlotte. Laura say she’s not defending him, but they don’t know for certain Valentin was kidnapping Charlotte. He might have wanted to get her away from Windymere. Nikolas had come home to take the estate, and Valentin might have wanted to take Charlotte to a hotel. Lulu says, or disappear with her forever. Laura says they can keep reiterating the things he’s done wrong forever, but she has to admit, Valentin had a life-altering experience, and at least where Charlotte is concerned, he’s doing his best. Lulu says, when Valentin tries to come off as wise and compassionate, she starts counting the silverware. Laura says, all right. Let’s focus on the matter at hand. How are they going to tell Charlotte?
Nina hugs Charlotte, and Jax suggests he give them privacy, but Nina asks him to stay. Charlotte is growing up, and Nina thinks she can handle it. She tells Charlotte, she needs to understand that she and Jax care for one another. Charlotte says she and papa belong together, and Nina says she’ll always be Charlotte’s friend, but Jax is very important to her. He’s a good guy. Charlotte says papa is going to leave, and not fight for her anymore. He doesn’t want to see her. Jax says, of course (🍷) he wants to see her. Dads are forever.
Alexis tells Valentin, let’s just say she made a mistake. At the time, she didn’t think it was, so she tried to help someone, but might lose her law license. He says, that’s rough; he’s sorry. It’s not the end of the world though. She says, it feels like it, and he says he gets it, but she’s more than just a job. She says, when she thought they were related, she couldn’t stand him. But now that they’re not related, she almost likes him… whoever he is now. Who is he? He says he’d like to know that himself. His phone rings. It’s Nina, who asks how soon he can get to her office. He says he’s in the MetroCourt. What’s up? She says, it’s Charlotte. She’s upset, and needs her father. He asks if she’s all right, and Nina says, just get here. He tells Alexis, he has to go, and jets.
Chase says he just told Finn the whole story, and Finn says, it was a story, all right. A doozy. Chase says Finn is saying that to his face, and Finn says Chase’s face might as well have a sign that says, nice to meet you; I’m lying. There’s no way he’d cheat on Willow. Chase says he hates to let Finn down, but that’s what happened. He didn’t want to hurt Willow, but he had to face what he did. Finn says, they know he’s not the best with emotions, but he can see Chase loves Willow with all his heart, to the moon and back, and all the other clichés. Most days, Chase is a walking Valentine’s Day card, attached to a candy heart that says something embarrassing. Chase says, of course (🍷) he loves Willow, and Finn says, that’s why he’s not having an affair. Chase tells him, ask Willow. She walked in on them. Finn says, Willow saw what they wanted her to see. Why do that? Chase says, he doesn’t know, but it’s killing him inside. Finn suggests Chase drop the act, and tell him why he did the dumbest thing in his life, and pushed Willow away.
Molly tells Kristina, no more details about her love life. Kristina asks if she can offer some advice, and Molly says, no. Kristina tells her not to be so hard on herself. Molly says she gave up on TJ, but Kristina says, she’s not a bad person. Molly says, she’s a bad partner. She fell into bed with the first person who came along. Kristina says Molly isn’t psychic. For all she knew, TJ was having crazy, wild sex too. Molly asks if that’s supposed to make her feel better. Kristina says she’s trying, and Molly says she can rationalize until hell freezes over, but when it comes down to it, she knows what she has to do. She flashes back to TJ telling her, if their positions were reversed, he would have felt the same. She says he doesn’t have to be so nice to her, and he says his mom got texts she thought were from him. Of course (🍷) Molly thought he was icing her out, but they’re ok now. There’s nothing they can’t take back.
TJ asks if Sam wants to surprise Molly together, but she says she has something to discuss with Brando. TJ thanks Brando again, and leaves. Brando says, if this is about Kristina, he did his best to apologize. Sam says Kristina will forget about him like she forgot about Shiloh and DoD. He’s already given one of her sisters special treatment; isn’t it enough? She doesn’t know him, but she knows why he came there. He brought a lot of baggage, and she doesn’t want him to think he can drop it on Molly. Forget that night, and forget her. It never happened. Understood? Geez. Just a little heavy-handed.
Jax tells Charlotte, he doesn’t see Josslyn as much as he’d like, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s his daughter, or how much he loves her. There are no words to describe how much he loves her. He can guarantee Charlotte’s dad feels the same way. Charlotte asks, how? and he says, dads get a special handbook when their daughters are born, and it tells them that daughters are magical, mysterious creatures with special powers over their dads. Charlotte says, that’s not true, but he says she’ll see. Valentin comes in, and Charlotte runs to him. Jax tells Nina, call if she needs anything. Nina tells Valentin that Charlotte is afraid he doesn’t want her anymore. Valentin asks why she thinks that, and Charlotte says he doesn’t love her anymore.
Sonny tells Cyrus, he can live in Port Charles, but has to conduct his business elsewhere. He doesn’t move anything through Sonny’s territory, and doesn’t touch Sonny or his associates. Cyrus says Sonny has a large territory. That kind of deference could be expensive. Sonny says that’s not his problem, and Cyrus says, fine. Sonny has a deal. He holds out his hand, and after a beat, Sonny shakes it. Everyone gives soap opera looks at each other.
Lulu says, anything? and Laura says, Charlotte isn’t in the backyard. Lulu says she called Charlotte’s friends; where could she be? Laura says she’ll drive around the neighborhood, and Lulu says she’ll head to town. Maybe Charlotte went to Kelly’s. Nina calls, and Lulu says, it’s not a good time. Nina says, Charlotte is there at Crimson, and Lulu tells Laura, Charlotte is with Nina. Lulu asks if Charlotte is okay, and Nina says, physically, she’s fine, but she’s upset. Her father is with her. Lulu asks Nina to please keep her there; she’s on her way. She tells Laura, she has to go, and Laura asks her to tell Charlotte that she loves her.
Valentin kneels down, and asks Charlotte to listen. He loves her. How could she think he doesn’t? She says she heard her mom and grandma talking. They said he wanted to leave her. He says he could never ever want to leave her, but he doesn’t want her to make the same mistakes he did. He needs her to know the difference between right and wrong. She says she can’t learn without him. If he loves her, take her somewhere where they can be together. She knows he’s leaving. Please take her wherever he’s going. He leans his head on her, and she hugs him.
Jax sees Alexis, and she says, hey, stranger. He says it’s been too long since he’s reached out, and she says, her too. He says they have to change that. He needs her level head, and she says, it’s funny that he thinks she’s level-headed. What’s the problem? He says he left Valentin alone with Nina and Charlotte. He’s hoping it’s not a mistake. She says Valentin was there when he got a phone call, and ran off. Everything okay? He says, something is going on. He wishes he knew what it was. Charlotte was afraid Valentin was going to leave her. She says, apparently, he made a decision about his future. His life as he knew it was knocked off course, and he wants to do right by Charlotte, even if he has to suffer.
Chase says, Finn doesn’t believe him? Finn says he laid it on thicker than hot fudge at a sundae bar. Chase says he’s stubborn and a pain in the ass, and Finn says, sounds like him, but nothing Chase is saying sounds remotely like him. Chase says, if he tells Finn, promise him it will stay between them. Finn says, absolutely, as long as it’s the truth. Chase says Finn is right. He didn’t cheat on Willow. He needed her to think he did so she’d marry Michael.
Kristina says, Molly can’t leave until she tells Kristina what she’s decided to do. Molly says she’s not asking permission. It’s something she needs to do for herself. She needs to be completely honest, and tell TJ everything.
Brando tells Sam, he didn’t even know Molly had a boyfriend until afterward; not that it’s any of her business. She says he made it her business when he slept with her sister. My Lord. I’m glad my sister isn’t up my rear end like this. Brando says she’s a big girl, and they didn’t do anything she didn’t want to do. She asks what he wants, and he says, to run his garage, if she’ll let him. She says, if he tries to make trouble for Molly, he’ll be in a world of trouble with her.
Cyrus and Not-Jason go into the MetroCourt. Cyrus says, it’s nice to end the day in a place where he was unceremoniously expelled. A place he doesn’t need any permission to be. It was too easy. Sonny thinks he’ll lower his guard, and go in for the kill. Unfortunately, he doesn’t play by Sonny’s rules. Not-Jason asks where Cyrus is going to start, and Cyrus says, by getting rid of Jason.
Jason tells Sonny, Cyrus and his bodyguard are at the MetroCourt. Sonny says, he doesn’t waste time, and Jason wonders, why let him? Sonny says, it seems all cozy and soft. He’ll let Cyrus play house, and when Cyrus starts looking at Sonny out of the corner of his eye, it will be time for him to take Cyrus out.
Tomorrow, TJ walks in on Kristina and Molly talking, Nina tells Lulu to give Valentin a chance, Finn tells Chase to fix this, and Nelle wants to apologize to Willow.
Vanderpump Rules
Stassi comes home, and tells Beau that she’s sorry. She’s an a-hole. She shouldn’t have gotten mad at him. It was misdirected anger. In Stassi’s interview, she says she left the wine party by herself. Lala was calling and Katie was texting, telling her that she was being ridiculous. When she got home, she realized she was the a-hole. She shows Beau some boxes of mac and cheese, and says it’s the only thing she can’t screw up. In Beau’s interview, he says he could have avoided last night’s fight if he’d told Stassi that he was proposing, but it would have ruined everything he’s been planning for the last six or seven months. He wants everything to be perfect. She asks if he still wants to go mausoleum shopping; it will be fun. He says, of course, and she says she thought he might cancel. That’s why she made the mac and cheese. She tells him, it’s death time.
At SUR, Danica shows Peter some socks she’s gotten for the softball game. She’s excited. In her interview, she says, not only will they get sweet, sweet bragging rights, but she can put Max in his place. We flash back to when he kicked her out of TomTom.
Tom pretends to use the hand-held vacuum cleaner as a laser sword. Schwartz comes by, and says he doesn’t want them to get furniture. Ariana says she’s thinking of having yoga classes at the house. Tom tells Schwartz that James is coming over to play with them. Ariana says, the big game is tomorrow. She’s playing, but she’ll be bad. In Ariana’s interview, she says she’s playing for TomTom, even though she works at SUR. She’s competitive, and Tom doesn’t want her to be on the other team. James arrives, and tells them, Raquel is playing for SUR. It’s on now. In his interview, he says he’s from London. They don’t play softball, and the closest thing they have must be cricket, but if Tom can play, he’s sure he can. They go in the backyard, and James tells them he’s been sober for nearly a month; 28 days. When he does a show, and comes off the stage, he feels all of it. In Tom’s interview, he says, James thought he had to be drunk to be James Kennedy. Now he’s a better version of himself. They practice some ball.
Beau drives to the Hollywood Cemetery. In Stassi’s interview, she says if they buy a mausoleum, Beau has to propose. It’s a gorgeous place, with a lake that has swans, and Stassi tells him, this is where they’re going to be buried. In her interview, she says it’s the perfect way to ensure Beau is committing to a lifetime and afterlifetime. Till death do us not part. She says she loves the vintage writing, and he tells her, that’s Latin. She says he’ll be glad if she dies tomorrow. He’ll be free to mourn, and live out his lonely life for the rest of his life, since he’s not going to date. In Beau’s interview, he says Stassi is in her element, and he’s terrified. His best friend Rob put the ring there. He can’t see Rob or the ring, and he’s panicking, worrying that it might have gotten stolen. It’s the beginning of their life together, and he wants to impress her. They sit on a bench, and he asks what that is on the ground. Stassi wonders if it’s a bell for dead people, and Beau picks it up. He looks inside, but Stassi doesn’t think he should touch it.
He says he loves her so much. She literally turned his world upside down, in the best way possible. There’s nobody else he’d want to spend the rest of his life with. He asks her to marry him, and in between oh-my-Gods, she says, yes. He puts the ring on her, and they kiss. She says, we’re engaged, MF’ers. She says he told her that they wouldn’t be getting married this year, and he says she was supposed to be surprised. It’s what you’re supposed to do. He explains that the ring is a family heirloom, and she says she feels like a part of history; it’s perfect for her. In Beau’s interview, he says they’ve grown a lot as a couple. We flash back to some of their moments, and he says, there have been bad times, but that’s behind them. He’s excited thinking about the future. We flash back to Stassi telling him that she loves him more than ranch dressing. He says, now that they’re fiancés, he wonders if Stassi will get upset if he slips and calls her his girlfriend. He tells her, Lisa offered her home for a party, and she’s going to cook. Katie and Schwartz helped with the whole thing. She says that’s probably why Katie was torturing her. She calls Katie, who screams into the phone when she answers. Lala is there, and says she’s freaking TF out. They tell Stassi how hard it was to keep it from her. Stassi tells Katie, she so mean, and she was wondering why. Katie jokes that she was okay with being mean, and Stassi says she’s so happy, she can’t think straight. Everyone is thrilled. Beau tells Stassi, fiancé sounds bougie, and she says she feels bougie. Everyone is going to be jelly. It’s the best day of her life.
Lisa puts the finishing touches on the party. She tells Ken that she needs him to get ready too. Puffy! Lala and Katie get to Villa Rosa first, and Lala says she thinks it’s better than Christmas. Lisa asks if Lala is wearing anything underneath her dress, and Lala moons her in response. In Lisa’s interview, she says, Villa Rosa is not clothing optional. For the most part, when employees are at her house, she likes them to be fully dressed. News of the engagement spreads like wildfire through the restaurants, and Katie says she texted everyone after Beau proposed. In her interview, Katie says, after Beau proposed, she sent everyone a text to come to the party. Lisa asks about Kristen, and Katie explains what happened with Beau the night before. Lisa asks if Stassi would be upset if Kristen came to the party, and Katie says she would. She needs a break. Lisa says she feels sympathy toward Kristen, which isn’t her normal stance, but she introduced Stassi to Beau. Lala says she was hoping to call Kristen, and handle it. At some point, Kristen needs to look in the mirror, and ask herself what she’s doing.
Kristen teaches her dogs the stay command. They do a million times better than mine. In Kristen’s interview, she says she and Stassi used to tell each other everything, and to find out Stassi is engaged on social media sucks. Where there’s an engagement, there’s an engagement party, and there’s a pretty good chance she’s not invited. Lala calls, and Kristen says she already knows Stassi is engaged, already knows there’s a party, and already knows she’s not welcome at the party. She hopes they have fun. Lala says she knows Kristen was fully coming. Lisa knew, but then things went south last night. Kristen says just because she asked Beau if they were still friends? and Lala says, it’s a weird question. A thirty-six year old doesn’t ask if we’re still friends. He’s Stassi’s fiancé. Kristen asks if this is why Lala called, and Lala says she called to check in with Kristen, but she brought it up. Lala tells her, have a good night. After she hangs up, Lala says, so annoying.
Stassi calls her dad from the car, and says she’s engaged. He says, to who? Beau says they’ll come to New Orleans to see him soon. He asks Stassi if he should call her dad pop now. He asks if Kristen texted, but Stassi says, no. He thinks she was definitely trying to see if she should come to the party . Stassi gets it, but doesn’t want to share this moment with Kristen. In Stassi’s interview, she says she wants to celebrate this incredible day with the people she loves, who don’t stress her out. Beau says he got a text from Carter, and Stassi tells him to send it. She reads, don’t forget to thank Kristen. She made it happen, and now he and Stassi treat her like sh*t. It’s some cold-blooded sh*t. Stassi says, so her first order of business should be to text Kristen. This is why she doesn’t like them.
Everyone trickles in to the party. Literally everyone, except for Kristen. Ariana tells Schwartz, she didn’t eat all day because she was so excited about the dinner he was preparing. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, in order to make sure everyone was available, and without spoiling the surprise, he had to come up with a diversion. We see a clip of him telling Tom and Ariana about a seven-course dinner that he’s making, to stimulate the senses. Ariana says, it’s not happening, is it? Tom says he’s never trusting Schwartz again. He said they were getting individual iron skillets. Schwartz says he doesn’t know why he was so specific; it was unnecessary. In Lisa’s interview, Lisa says Stassi now knows about the party, but she doesn’t know her family is surprising her. She has Mark, Dana, Nikolai, and some others hide. Stassi and Beau arrive, and Stassi shows Lisa the ring. Lisa says, it’s beautiful. Beau did a good job; better than she could imagine. Lisa knows it’s a lot to take in. She tells Stassi, the big surprise is about to get better, and her family comes out. In Stassi’s interview, she says to see her whole family there, she’s shook. Her dad lives in New Orleans, and her mom lives in Arrowhead. It’s rare to have her whole family together at once. It couldn’t be more special. Beau says, no more lies; that’s it. Stassi cries, while hugging everyone. In Katie’s interview, she says, Stassi looks so happy; it’s so incredible. But she thought, where’s Stassi’s other outfit? She told her to wear something else; her ghost outfit. The favorite dress you want to wear as a ghost. Ooh, I like that idea. She tells Stassi that she had anxiety about the ring bouncing around. Lisa asks, who’s hungry? and tells them to sit for dinner. She leads Stassi to the head of the table – Puffy! – and says she doesn’t know how this happened; her waiting on Stassi. It’s a one-time thing. The service Stassi should have given the customers over the years. In Brittany’s interview, she says Jax put together a beautiful party after their engagement. A surprise at her apartment was cool and all, but if he’d had the party at Villa Rosa, she would have been fine with that. Stassi feels like it’s sci/fi; everything is coming over her. Lisa tells her, don’t turn into a bridezilla.
Lisa tells Stassi and Beau to love each other, and treat each other with the utmost respect. It’s worth it. Ariana tells Tom, she’s sitting next to Kristen’s empty seat. It’s like the ghost of Kristen is haunting the dinner table. In her interview, she says she can feel Kristen’s energy. She can’t hear, and she’s complaining about her tiny ear drums. It’s hard not to miss her. Jax feels like Carter sent the text to get brownie points with Kristen. In his interview, he says he sees through that bullsh*t. Scheana asks Nikolai what he thinks of Beau, and Nikolai says he’s good for Stassi. Scheana says she can’t believe how much he’s grown, and starts to creep me out. She asks if he has a girlfriend, but he says, no. She says, what about when he gets to high school? and he says, probably. In Scheana’s interview, she says, twenty-one is the youngest she’ll hook up with. She doesn’t want to date any younger. Please don’t tell me the thought was even in her head. Consider me officially creeped out. He’s like fifteen. Beau and Stassi stroll the grounds, and Beau points out the lemon trees, and the swans. Stassi says it’s the happiest day of her life, and he says, his too. She says they have so much to look forward to. This will be theirs one day. In her interview, Stassi says it makes her gag when she hears it, but she truly is the luckiest girl in the world. She’s so happy. She thanks Beau.
Brett goes out for his break. The girls are outside, and Charli says she’s never had the pasta there. Dayna says, don’t; it’s a slippery slope. Charli says she barely tried the spaghetti at Olive Garden. I have news for her, Olive Garden and SUR are worlds apart. Brett comes out, and Raquel and Charli get up. He asks if he smells, and Raquel says if he’s on break, that means they have to go back. When they’re alone, Dayna tells him that she wishes she’d met him before she met Max. Max is a kid, and she and Brett have deep conversations. In Dayna’s interview, she says, Brett is an effing man. When Max would hug her, she felt like she might break his arms. She says Max will always need something new and shiny. She would have been in his rear view in five minutes. He’s going to run out of women to date, since he’s been overfishing. In Brett’s interview, he says Dayna wants commitment, and Max is scratching the surface of being a sex addict. He tells Dayna, he’s hitting a home run tomorrow.
Stassi wonders if the dogs know she and Beau are engaged. She tells him that she was thinking about a small, intimate, romantic wedding in Italy. He can’t believe she’s already thinking about it, and she says, Italy is romantic and fun, the food is great, and she loves the people and the atmosphere. She loves everything about it. He asks if she doesn’t want to enjoy this part, and she says, part of enjoying this part is the planning. In her interview, she says once she got the ring, she turned into a terrorist. The world is her effing oyster because of this. She shows us the ring. She tells Beau that he doesn’t have to help her plan it. She doesn’t want him to worry his pretty head. He asks who is she? and she says she’s a bride demon. It’s going to be exciting.
Jax brings his lawn mower to Kristen’s house. In his interview, he says he enjoys cutting the grass. It’s therapeutic. He cuts his own grass, his neighbor’s grass, the grass of people who don’t know who he is. It reminds him of his dad showing him how to do it. Brittany tells Kristen, Jax brought the lawn mower, the weed whacker, and the leaf blower. He informs us that Kristen has Kentucky bluegrass. Brittany asks if Kristen is okay about yesterday, and Kristen says, no. She didn’t want to see anyone. Carter picked up the dogs. She doesn’t want them to be around her when she’s sad. In Kristen’s interview, she says they’re her emotional support animals, but she thinks it bums them out if she’s not playing with them, and just in bed crying. She tells Brittany, she wishes someone had called her first. Lala went off on her, and she was crying, and called Carter. Brittany tells her that Carter texted Beau. Jax comes in, and Brittany tells him to read the text. In her interview, Kristen says, Carter is the one person to stand up for her. She swooned a little bit (what? who says that?), but the timing is a bit poor. Brittany says it’s not Kristen’s fault, but Kristen says it will end up being her fault like everything else. Does she ever watch herself on this show?
The SUR and TomTom teams warm up on the ballfield. Katie tells Schwartz, she doesn’t enjoy softball. She doesn’t like balls flying at her. In her interview, Katie says, she’s being a good wife. This is what you do when you’re married; play softball. In Tom’s interview, he says, team TomTom is ready. He’s the most experienced captain, they have the most experienced players, and DJ James Kennedy. He feels good about their chances. He chose black for their uniforms, because it hides dirt, it’s slimming, and looks good. SUR chose it for the same reasons. In Danica’s interview, she says, they’re taking TomTom TF down. She and Brett are team captains, and SUR is super athletic. They’re not cleaning TomTom’s damn bathroom. Lisa says, let’s get the game started. They’re playing nice, right? They say, no, and in Lisa’s interview, she says she’s on board with team building exercises. Not so much their extracurricular activities. If they hit a home run, let them do it on the field rather than the bedroom.
In her interview, Scheana says she’s been playing baseball since she was seven, and continued through high school. Her great aunt Shirley was in the Rockford Peaches, the team that A League of Their Own was based on. And she can pitch with these nails just fine. James sits next to Katie, and says he was surprised he was invited. She says, her too, and he says he hasn’t been drinking for a month. He’s been going to meetings, and working to change his attitude on life. Part of that is how he’s treating people, and how disgusting he was. In James’s interview, he says, the steps are part of his sobriety, and making amends to people he’s wronged. Katie is pretty high on the list. We flash back to several examples of that. She asks if this is the last apology, and he says, it really is. She says she appreciates it. In Katie’s interview, she says, she’s not cold-blooded. She feels he’s spent time thinking about the things he’s said and done, so she accepts it. She tells him that she’s proud of him.
In Charli’s interview, she says she played softball through high school, and she’s competitive. Probably because she didn’t have a dad. Just kidding. Hmm… that’s actually not all that funny, and makes me wonder about her. Brett says he’s going to make Lisa proud, and she says he doesn’t need to impress her. Brittany laughs about Katie eating sunflower seeds and drinking soda out on the field. Jax calls Tom a big baby, and in his interview, says, there’s no way Tom knows enough about softball to be the rules police. If he wanted bronzer for his calves, Tom would be the one to ask, but he doesn’t know anything about softball. He yells that he wouldn’t trade Raquel for Tom. No offense. Raquel says he hasn’t even seen her play. In her interview, Raquel says, you don’t know what competitive means until you’re in the pageant circuit.
Raquel gets a home run, and Tom says they can still make a comeback. SUR wins, and they chant, clean our bathroom. In Tom’s interview, he says, it’s going to suck cleaning their toilet. Schwartz says the joke’s on them. He likes cleaning bathrooms.
Next time, Brett feels violated after being in Scheana’s music video, Jax tells Kristen that she’s angry all the time, Kristen says Jax is delusional, and Brittany doesn’t want Jax circling back to his old ways.
Ian visits Lushion’s office, and says they have to talk. The DA came to see Larry. She said Carl called, and claimed he had information that could exonerate Kelly. Lushion asks if that isn’t what he’s supposed to do, and Ian says, Larry needs to know exactly what it is, but Carl isn’t answering his phone. Lushion asks what the problem is with Carl doing what he’s supposed to. Ian says, if he brags, it could be bad for Kelly. He’ll check the courthouse. He tells Lushion, if he finds Carl, let him know. Lushion says he has to talk to Ian about something else, but now isn’t the right time. Ian says, now he’s curious, and Lushion says, Ian and Alex. Ian says, what about them?
Ian doesn’t know what Lushion is talking about. He starts to leave, but comes back. He asks why Lushion was asking about him and Alex. Did she talk to him? Lushion looks at the floor. Ian asks if she filed a complaint, and says he knew it. He swears it was consensual sex; she’s way off her rocker. Lushion has to believe him. He asks if she’s saying he raped her, and Lushion says, just tell him what happened. Ian says Alex came over and got drunk. The next morning, she said he took advantage of her, and drugged her. Lushion says, did he? and Ian says, no. She finally remembered that she came on to him. Lushion has to believe him. Lushion says he does, and Ian asks if he’s getting arrested. Lushion says, no. Alex didn’t come in there. Ian asks why he said all this, and Lushion says Ian volunteered the information. Ian says, that’s low down, and Lushion says, Ian does it every day in court. If Ian thinks she might press charges, they should talk about it. He’s the only one who’s got Ian; he saw him having sex on the stairs with Alex through the window. She was fully engaged, and didn’t look out of it. Ian thanks Lushion, and suggests he talk to Alex, but Lushion says she has to come to him. Relax. Go find Carl. Ian thanks Lushion again, and leaves.
Marcie tells Brad, it might not be the worst thing. This way, he can raise his kids. He says she can’t be serious. There’s no way Alex would walk out on the kids. Marcie says he didn’t think she was this person either. He needs to talk to a lawyer immediately. She knows he can get custody with her acting like this. He’ll have to call Larry. He’s a weirdo, but he’s a good lawyer. He asks if Ian isn’t her boyfriend, and she says, apparently, he’s Alex’s. She says she can stay there, and have someone else show the house, but he says, that’s okay. He’ll stay with the baby. She says, it’s been a lot. He didn’t know who the father was, and had thought it was his kid. He says that won’t stop him from helping an innocent baby, and she says that’s why she loves him. He’s a good man. He says he loves her too. Go to work; sell the house. She leaves, and he sits back. The baby cries.
As Marcie crosses the street to her car, Randal says, hey there. She says, damn. He needs a job. He asks if she’s living there with Brad, and calls her a slut. She says, that would be his mistress. Did he see what was online? How does it make him feel? He says, glad he’s not with Marcie, and she says she’s got a wedding to plan. He laughs, and she says, it’s happening. He promises she’ll never walk down the aisle. She asks if that’s a threat, and he says she knows it is. She says he doesn’t scare her, but he says he thinks he does. She slaps his forehead, and asks if she looks scared. He says, they’re assaulting each other? and she says, please do. He says he’s got her, and she says, not anymore. Brad’s got her now. Come on. Hit her, so she can scream Brad’s name, like she does every night. It’s too much for him to handle. He says he’s way better at this than she is, and she says she’s going to have a baby; the one he thought was his. Wouldn’t it be funny if she and Brad raised the baby together? That crazy bitch left. She said Brad could have the kids. He laughs, and she asks if he thinks it’s funny. He says, very funny. See how crazy he made her ass? He says he’ll see her soon, and she says, every day she’ll be there. She drives away.
Dr. Raston says she wasn’t expecting to see Alex. Is she okay? Alex says, no and yes, and the doctor asks, what’s going on? Alex says she needs to get birth control pills, and she wants to schedule a tubal ligation. Dr. Raston says, she’s done with kids? and Alex says, yeah; all of them. She left Brad, and she’s giving him the kids. The doctor asks, what about the baby? and Alex says, him too. Dr. Raston asks if she’s been drinking, and Alex says, everything she can get her hands on. The doctor asks if they can talk, and Alex says, about birth control? The doctor says, first, why does Alex need them? Alex says, so she can live her life, and be free in the moment. Dr. Raston says, they won’t protect her from HIV or STDs, but Alex says she can get condoms. Dr. Raston tells her to slow down; she’s worried. Alex says she’s fine. Give her what she needs, and she can go. The doctor tells her, wait there.
In the hallway, Dr. Raston calls Brad. She asks if everything is okay; Alex is there. She knows things are difficult, but Alex isn’t herself. He says, that’s who Alex is. Did Alex tells her that she’s been online, dating lots of different men? The doctor says she didn’t know that, and he says the Alex in front of her is the real Alex. He’s been dealing with a liar and an imposter for some time, and doesn’t want to deal with it right now. The doctor apologizes, and goes back into the examining room. She gives Alex a sample card of pills from the case, and Alex says, if they were there the whole time, why did she have to leave? Did she need to call Brad? Dr. Raston says she’s concerned, but Alex says she shouldn’t be. He doesn’t care anyway. The doctor asks if she can call Alex, and Alex says she can try.
Alex sees two guys coming into the waiting room, one supporting the other. She asks, what happened? and the limping guy says he was in a fight with a bull. He got roughed up. She says it sounds like the place she wants to be, and he tells her to go to the cowboy bar on Highway 65. She says, maybe she’ll go there right now, and he says when he gets patched up, he can bring her. She says, how about if she meets him there? He looks good in those jeans. He’s her kind of man. He asks, what kind is that? and she says, a man.
Ian goes into Larry’s office, and Larry asks if he found Carl. Ian says, not yet, and Larry says, Carl is a public defender; it’s not that hard. Ian says he’s on it, and asks, what’s going on? Larry says he’s hearing things about the Cain case. If he’s not mistaken, Ian was helping Kelly before. Ian says his loyalty is to the firm. Is Larry questioning that? Is he questioning Ian’s integrity? Larry says, Ian is a lawyer. He has no integrity. He hopes he doesn’t find out Ian is lying. Ian asks if Larry is threatening him, and Larry says he is. That’s all for now.
Alex goes to the cowboy bar, where apparently, they serve drinks in Solo cups. She tells the bartender that she’s divorced, and needs another drink. He asks if she wants his special. It’s called, I just got divorced. She asks if he wants to do a shot with her, and he says he’s working. She says, come on, and he says he guesses the boss won’t mind too much. She tells him, make her two. Tiny Solo cups! I’ve never seen those before. They do the shots, and she gives him a credit card, telling him put everything on there. It’s her ex-husband’s; he doesn’t know she has it. He says, how about champagne? and she says, okay. Champagne for everybody. He says, there are only about nine people, but hey, and she says, champagne and a round of drinks. She asks if the mechanical bull works; she wants to ride It. He asks if she knows how, and she says, sure. He asks if she likes riding, and she says she loves it. Stop flirting with her. He says he’s not, and she says he is cute. He thanks her, and she says she has a friend she thinks he’s going to like; a gorgeous Latin girl, Esperanza. She’s going to call her. Maybe they can ride the bull together, but first, shots.
Randal sits all pissed off, looking at his phone and his laptop. He closes the laptop, and says, you think you’re slick. Got you, bitch. He makes a call.
The bartender asks Alex what they’re cheersing to, and she says her divorce. They do a shot, and her phone rings. She laughs, and says, perfect timing. Randal says she was a whore online, screwing all these guys. She says, they swiped right, or left. Whatever; they swiped. He asks if she’s drunk, and she says, yep. She says they need to talk, and he asks, what’s wrong with her? She tells him that he needs to get a sling; it’s going to help him a lot. He says she’s drunk as hell. What is she talking about? She says she’s just trying to help, so he won’t be so curved. His little member is like a little banana. It’s not that fun, to be honest. I nearly die laughing. She doesn’t understand. Is that normal? She asks the bartender if he’s curved, and he says he’s whatever she wants him to be. She tells Randal, in all seriousness, they need to talk. She never loved him. He tells her, that’s not what she said in the shed. She says, the shed. That was just for fun, like the others. He asks, how many? and she says, a lot. He asks where she is, and she says, at the cowboy bar. It’s so fun. He tells her, stay there; he’s coming down. She says, good. Bring his wallet. She just had a brilliant idea. Invent a curved condom. He’d make so much money. He says he’ll see her later, and she calls Esperanza.
Alex asks where Esperanza is, and Esperanza says, at work. Alex says, guess where she is? and Esperanza says she doesn’t know, but it’s loud. Alex says she’s at the cowboy bar, and she’s going to ride a mechanical bull. Esperanza asks if she’s drunk, and why is she at a bar in the middle of the afternoon? Alex says she’s about to ride the bull like nobody’s business, and hangs up. Steven asks, what’s up? and Esperanza says, Alex. She’s at a bar, drunk. Steven says, in the middle of the day? It’s a little strange. Esperanza asks if Eddie is out, and he says, yeah, but it’s okay. He’s there. She calls Natalie.
Natalie is sweeping up at the burger place. Esperanza asks if she’s talked to Alex, but she says, no. Esperanza says, Alex called her, drunk at a bar. Natalie says, she’s going through it, girl. She signed the divorce papers. Esperanza says, that would explain a lot. She didn’t sound good. She’s going over there to check on Alex. Natalie says, pick her up, and she’ll go with her. Esperanza says she’ll see Steven later.
Kelly calls for Lushion from her cell. Steven comes by, and Kelly says, Eddie took her Bible. He doesn’t understand, and she tells him to get Lushion. Please. She needs him right now. He says, okay; relax. He’ll get Lushion. He tells Lushion, Kelly needs to talk to him. She’s yelling about Eddie stealing her Bible. Lushion jumps up, and goes to Kelly’s cell. Kelly is crying, and says Eddie took her bible. Lushion asks, how? and she says, he came into her cell. She sobs, and he tells her that he’ll take care of it. Man, I need a Lushion in my life.
Alex rides the bull, which isn’t exactly on high speed. Natalie and Esperanza come in, and Esperanza tells her, come down. She says, Johnny, a round of drinks, but Esperanza says, no drinks. They help Alex down, and she hugs them. She says she’s drunk, and Natalie says they know that. Alex says Johnny is giving her a job; she’s going to be a waitress. Natalie says, she needs a job? and Alex says, now that she’s divorced, she needs to be free. Natalie says, she can’t be too free. She’s got kids. Alex says, pfft! Brad will take care of the kids, and Esperanza says she’s just going to give Brad custody? Alex says, yeah, but Esperanza says she doesn’t mean that. Alex says she does, and Esperanza says they have to get her home. Alex says, her home is with him. Johnny smiles, and Alex says, he lives upstairs. She’s spent her whole life doing what everyone else wanted. Now it’s her turn. She’s had enough. Esperanza tells her, look at herself, and Alex says, she’s happy for once? Esperanza says she looks miserable, but Alex says she feels happy, and she’s not going anywhere. Esperanza says she has a family; she has to go back. Natalie says, divorce is hard. When she sobers up, she’ll see what she was thinking. Alex says, no she won’t, and Natalie says she has three kids who love and need her, but Alex says Brad is a better person and parent than she could be. He never cheated; not once. He’s going raise them right. She doesn’t deserve them. Esperanza asks if this is about guilt, and Alex says, no. Natalie asks what it is then, and Alex asks if Natalie knows how many men she’s been with. More than Esperanza, and that’s a lot. Esperanza is like, hey, and Alex says, they all know. She’s not going back to that life. She’s going to stay there with the tall sexy cowboy. She’s going to get a job and live there, and be a waitress. Natalie says, they’re going, and Esperanza says, all right. She gives up. Natalie says Alex has their numbers. Alex says, at least ride the bull once. Fire this puppy up. Alex gets on the bull again, and Esperanza asks, what if she hurts herself? and Natalie says she can’t stay there forever. They head for the door, and Alex yells, yeehaw, bitches!
On the phone, Lushion tells Rick, he’ll see him at three. He goes into the locker room, and Eddie is there. Lushion asks where the Bible is, and Eddie says, what he calls contraband? Lushion says, dammit, Eddie, and Eddie says, watch out. God is going to get him. He doesn’t know what Lushion is talking about. Lushion slams Eddie up against the lockers, and Eddie says, there’s the Lushion he knows. He says it’s in his locker, and Lushion says, get it. Eddie gives Lushion the Bible, and Lushion flips through it. No surprise, the photos are no longer there. Lushion asks where the pictures are, and Eddie says he flushed them. Does Lushion need them for something? Lushion says he’ll see Eddie back at the station. When he’s gone, Eddie makes a call, and asks for sugar britches. He gets silence, and says, sweet t*ts? The operator says, there’s no one here by that name, and he says, Larry. Put that little lady on the phone.
Larry’s secretary says, a very rude man is on the phone for him, and Larry says, what else is new? She tells him, he said his name was Eddie, and Larry says, it makes perfect sense. Put him through. He asks what he can do for Eddie, and Eddie says, get $200K from the good reverend. He has information about some women he might find interesting. Larry doesn’t think it’s a good idea to have this conversation on the phone, and Eddie says he’ll come there. Larry says, make his day, and Eddie says he’d better have the money. Larry says Eddie will have to show what he has first, and Eddie says he’s on his way. Larry tells him, wear something low cut and tight. He’ll see Eddie soon. Eddie hangs up, and says, freaky mother better have my money.
Brad calls babysitter Chelsea, and leaves a message. He thanks her for staying late, and apologizes. He says he was wondering if she’s free this afternoon around three, and to call him back. He looks in the crib and says, the baby is sleeping; good. He has no idea all this craziness is around him. He touches the baby, and says, he’s not breathing. He leans in, and says, breathe, breathe, breathe.
Next time, Brad tells Natalie and Esperanza, the baby isn’t breathing; Eddie brings the pictures to Larry; Kelly feels like a caged animal; Randal shows up at the cowboy bar, and Johnny draws a gun on him.
🤸🏻♀️ Hanging In(side)…
Another long night under my belt, and another day of self-isolation under (almost) everyone’s belt. An expanding belt if we all don’t lay off those cookies/pies/mashed potatoes/whatever your comfort food is. I hope you’ve been using the time wisely, like binge watching the early seasons of Below Deck or learning how to make the perfect Pinterest fail. While not much changed for me, I’ll be glad to see paper towels again. Stay safe, stay chill, and if you see something, say something. Oh, wait. Wrong crisis.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Brando says, Sam and Kristina are Molly’s sisters? and she says, same mom, different dads. She asks if he told them that they slept together, and he says he has his faults, but he doesn’t blab about his personal life. She apologizes for snapping, but… He says, it’s awkward. She says, a little bit. He asks how her boyfriend is, and she says, better. The whole time, when she thought he’d dumped her, he’d been abducted, and was tied up in a basement. He says he’s sorry, and asks if they know who or why. She says, the police are still investigating, but at least he’s back now. He says she must be relieved, and she says, relieved, terrified, remorseful. She loves him, and should have believed in him. None of it is Brando’s fault. She completely misrepresented herself and her situation. He says, it’s okay. What happened between them will stay between them. Sam comes out, and says she saw them through the window. Do they know each other? We flash back to Molly kissing Brando, and Brando says he did some work on Molly’s car. It’s ready for pick-up. She thanks him, and he leaves.
Mac tells TJ, start at the beginning. What does he remember before the abduction? TJ says he was upset about something personal, and figured he’d walk it off; clear his head. Mac asks if he remembers where he was, but TJ isn’t sure. He heard a car behind him as he was about to reach the corner of Elm and 10th. Mac says, it’s deserted there at night, and TJ says, the next thing he knew, some guys jumped him. They wrestled him to the sidewalk, and put a sack over his head. Mac asks, how many? and TJ says, two. He was trying to fight back, but one tied his hands, and they both beat him up. He thinks he blacked out. The next thing he remembers is being in the back of the car… a van. He remembers a sense of room. Mac asks if it’s the same van that dropped him off, and he nods. He says, the muffler was loud, and woke him up. He thought he might be concussed, and better stay awake. Mac asks if there was anything distinct about the ride, and TJ says he was trying to pay attention so he wouldn’t pass out. After a few turns, the van stopped, and he heard a train horn. Mac says, Dockerty is the closest street to a train crossing. How long before TJ got to the basement? TJ says, thirty or forty minutes. It was a straight shot. The van opened up, but he was chloroformed before he could identify anyone. He came to in the basement. Mac asks if he remembers any sounds or smells, and TJ says he remembers both.
Neil says, it’s been an insane couple of weeks, and Alexis asks what the odds are that they’d be at the same opera, with Britt staying in the same hotel, on the same floor, spying on them. Neil says, and Alexis telling her ex. Alexis says she can’t believe Julian felt he could just attack Neil like a feral Neanderthal. Then he announced they’d slept together to the hospital. She didn’t like it, but it’s not why she drank. Neil says, maybe Sam’s words wouldn’t have been so hurtful if it hadn’t happened, and she asks if he’s angry. She says he sounds angry, and he says that’s because he is. She asks at her or him? and he says, both.
Cyrus tells Lulu, her mother was so worried about his safety, she insisted he return to Seattle. When he insisted he was going to make this wonderful community his home, she said if he were killed, she would make sure the perpetrators came to justice. Lulu says her mother cares about all of her constituents, no matter who they are, and he says he’s proud to call himself one of Port Charles’s newest citizens, and wants to prove it by benefiting the community. He’s starting by contributing to Laura’s reelection.
Sonny tells Carly, as long as Mike has good moments, can talk, smile, and eat food, it doesn’t feel right to talk about a DNR. Carly says having one in Mike’s chart is just a precaution. So the doctors don’t take heroic measures. He says, by heroic measures, she means, save his father’s life? Does she want to let Mike die? She asks if Sonny wants Mike hooked up to machines with a tube down his throat? Does he think Mike would want to live that way? He says he has no time to deal with this; he has to deal with Cyrus. He tells Jason, the longer Cyrus sits, the more time he has to retaliate. Set up a meeting. The sooner he takes care of Cyrus, the sooner he can take care of his father. Jason says he’s on it, and leaves. Not one person so far has told Sonny, a DNR is even standard procedure for anyone who might undergo surgery, and not a personal affront.
Laura tells Cyrus, it’s a generous offer, but it’s not an election year for her. Cyrus assumes politicians accept campaign contributions, no matter what the year. She thinks he should use it for a cause, like freeing Port Charles from illegal drugs. They could use more rehabs, recovery houses, and social workers. Or why not a children’s after-school program, to keep the kids busy and off the streets? Cyrus thanks her, and says he’s going to do some research to see which organization can most benefit from his investment .We flash back to Cyrus telling Sonny that he wants 10% of everything that moves through Port Charles, and won’t sell locally. Sonny can keep that market. Sonny says he’s not interested, and Cyrus says he should be. Every day Sonny refuses to allow product to move, he weakens himself and it costs money, making someone like Cyrus rich enough to take him down. If you don’t change with the times, the times will destroy you. Laura tells Cyrus, she looks forward to hearing about his decision.
Neil tells Alexis, he had every intention of telling the board that they’d slept together. It would have cost him his license, but she would have been in the clear. She says she made the choice to protect him, rather than prostrating herself before his Draconian review board, and she’s had no consequences. He says, yet. If he’d told them, she could have appealed. She asks if it’s her fault, and he says, it’s both their faults. She asks, what’s going on; she’s confused. She wonders if this is controlling or narcissistic. Her phone dings, and she tells him, hold that thought. She just got an email from the New York Bar Association.
Kristina tells Molly that she’s happy TJ is back, and ask if there are any leads. Molly says, no, and TJ can’t remember much. They’re trying to figure out why it happened. Kristina asks if she thinks it could have something to do with TJ’s mom, and Molly says, maybe. Sam remembers telling Jordan that she knows it was Cyrus, and Jordan asking her to please not tell Molly any more. If Molly or TJ know everything, it will put them in more danger. Molly tells Kristina, it’s not like there was a ransom note. Sam says, the important thing is, TJ is going to make a full recovery, and Kristina says, the problem is, Molly turning down his proposal. Did they talk things out? Molly flashes back to TJ asking if she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, and her saying, of course (🍷). Domestic partner is genius. She’s thrilled he’s back safe, and he says he can’t wait to go home with her, put this behind them, and focus on the future. Molly tells Sam and Kristina, TJ had the perfect compromise. They’re going to apply to be domestic partners.
TJ tells Mac, it smelled damp, like it was near water, and there were people upstairs. Mac says, men or women? and TJ says, men. One of their ringtones was Old Kentucky Home. He knows the song because they play it at the Kentucky Derby. He and Molly like to watch and make their own bets. Mac asks if there’s anything else, and TJ says, the ringtone guy brought him smoothies. His phone rang once while he was with TJ. He never talked to TJ, but he answered the phone, and had a Southern accent. Mac asks, who was on the other end? and TJ says he told them to wait, and went upstairs. Mac asks if there was anything else that was distinct, besides the smell of water, and TJ says, there was a constant pounding, morning to night, like there was construction going on. Mac says, the only project he knows of is the new development where they’re putting up a new pier. TJ says, Kentucky guy sounded like he had taps on his shoes. Mac says, some people wear taps to keep their heels from wearing down, and TJ says he kept thinking the guy was a dancer moonlighting as a kidnapper. It was the kind of crazy thought that stopped him from wondering if he’d ever get home.
Kristina asks Molly how domestic partner is different from marriage, and Molly says there are essentially the same legal protections, but not the same negative connotations, such as the labels of husband and wife. Sam asks if Molly is sure this is what she wants, and she’s not just saying yes because she almost lost TJ. Molly says she didn’t expect him to bring it up so soon; she barely had time to process it. Sam asks if she felt like she had to say yes, but Molly says she didn’t. Sam says, so she said yes for all the right reasons? Molly says she thinks so, and Sam asks what that means.
Sonny asks Carly how the girls are, and she says Avery was missing him. She told Avery he was with Mike, and she asked when Mike was coming to visit. Carly said she wasn’t sure, and told her Mike liked Turning Woods, so they made a plan to color a picture for his room. Sonny thanks her for making it okay for Avery. He wishes he could make it okay for his dad. He flashes back to telling Mike that he’s going to be okay; Sonny isn’t going anywhere. He remembers Mike asking, is it over? and thinks about Elizabeth telling him that while Mike’s memory is fading, his body is struggling to remember how to work. She asks if he’s thought about palliative care, and he says they’re not ready for end-of-life care, but she says, it’s more like an extra layer of support for both the patient and the family. It can be easily done at Turning Woods, and he’ll have a team of people experienced in Mike’s condition. She thinks it would be helpful for all of them. Sonny says, just when you think you have a handle on the disease, it gets worse. He flashes back to trying to feed Mike, and Mike not wanting to eat, then suddenly saying, smells like home, and taking a bite. Carly hugs Sonny.
TJ waits for the elevator, and Felix comes out. Felix tells him to get some rest, and TJ says, actually, he’s going to meet Molly and her sisters. After everything Molly has been through, he has an idea for a surprise. Oh yeah? How’d the last one work for you?
Curtis tells Jordan, when she went undercover at the DEA, she made a promise to do whatever was necessary to bring Cyrus down. She says she did it the wrong way, and he says, now she has a chance to do it the right way. She asks, how, when Cyrus can threaten TJ, and God knows who else? He says she got close to Cyrus; he trusted her. She said the reason Cyrus was in Port Charles was because she got in his head. Use that to get to him. Jordan flashes back to visiting Cyrus in Pentenville. Cyrus says, karma coming for Jordan looks like her watching as all she knows and loves burns to ashes, starting with the city that’s her adoptive home, the one she’s sworn to serve. Curtis tells her, get close. Find out Cyrus’s vulnerabilities, and we’ll figure out a way to use them to bring him down. She says, we? and he says she’s not doing this alone. There’s a knock at her office door, and Mac comes in. He says he spoke with TJ. He’s strong, and clear, and his memory is resurfacing. TJ gave him significant information, and he thinks they’re on their way to knowing who the kidnapper is.
Sam tells Molly, they know she loves TJ, and he loves her. Molly says he does, and she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. He’s her soulmate; the love of her life. Sam asks what the problem is, and Kristina seconds that. Molly says, when she thought TJ had dumped her, she slept with someone else.
Brando comes by Sonny’s, and tells Carly that Sonny was supposed to sign come paperwork. She says Sonny has been busy, but she’ll see if it’s on his desk. Brando says, the remodel is finished, and she asks what he thinks. He asks if it matters, and she says she’s not going to rip it out if he doesn’t like it, but she can always use fresh eyes and an objective opinion. He says, it’s cozy. He’s not sure it’s his style, but Sonny will love it. Carly says she was putting in some safety improvements, which is really important right now, and she just kept going. He tells her, great job. If he ever needs an imposing living room, he’ll call her. She finds the paperwork, and says he’s in luck. He says he has to keep his papers in order to stay in business, and she asks how it’s going. He says he’s had a few customers already. She might know one; Molly Lansing Davis. She says, that’s Sonny’s niece. Did he give her a discount? He flashes back to Molly kissing him, and thinks about Sonny telling him that he was always family; they just hadn’t met. Family takes care of family. Brando tells Carly, he will now. Molly seemed like a nice person. He tells her, congratulations on the remodel. He leaves, and Carly smiles at her work.
Lulu says she and Cyrus really should finish their interview. Cyrus asks if she doesn’t think the exchange between him and Laura will make for compelling reading, but Lulu says she decides what’s compelling reading; not him. He says he didn’t mean to offend her; he just hates for her mother to leave them. Although he’s sure their paths will cross again, and soon. Laura flashes back to Cyrus telling her that he appreciates her commitment to justice on his behalf, in the unfortunate event it’s necessary. She suggests he save her the work and his life, and leave Port Charles. He says it would look like he’s running, and he’d lose respect. Not only that of his peers, but hers too. She says he doesn’t have her respect, and never will. He says, they’ll see. He takes out his phone, and reads, meeting is back on. Pier 55. Now. Laura asks if everything is all right. I love how everyone always assumes a text is bad news.
Alone with Lulu, Laura asks what she thinks Cyrus meant when he said he’d see more of her. Is she paranoid? Is it just her? Lulu says, it’s not just her. It sounded like a threat. Laura wonders what to do about it, when Lulu’s phone rings. She says, it’s Diane. It must be about her custody petition. She answers, saying, any news? Is she sure? She tells Laura, Valentin isn’t contesting her petition. He’s basically agreed to give her full custody.
Neil asks Alexis what the bar wanted. She says his accreditation board reported her to the bar. The bar know she lied under oath, and they slept together. They want to see her immediately.
Kristina says it’s the last thing she expected, and Molly says, shocker; she’s not perfect. Kristina says, at the time, she thought TJ dumped her, but Molly says she should have known something was wrong, and that TJ wouldn’t just bail on her. Sam says, so who was he?
Brando works on his laptop in the garage, and hears someone come in. He asks if he can help them, and sees TJ. TJ says he hopes so. He’s there to pick up a car.
Sonny and Jason meet Cyrus and his dude that’s not Jason at the pier. Cyrus says he was disappointed that Sonny chose to cancel last night. Some would take it as a sign of disrespect. Sonny says he’s there now. Let’s get this over with.
Mac tells Jordan, he thinks TJ was being held where there’s new construction. Elm and 10th is where TJ said he was abducted, and there’s a bodega at the end of the block. Jordan says, speak to the owner, and see if there’s any security footage. Mac says she read his mind. He’ll report back as soon as he knows anything. He leaves, and Jordan asks Curtis what she’s going to do if it leads him closer to Cyrus. Curtis thinks the more important question is, what is Cyrus going to do? Jordan flashes back to telling Curtis that he doesn’t know what she’s capable of. It’s not murder; it’s justice. Curtis says he’s not letting her throw her life away on that scum. She remembers making a call on the burner phone, saying she knows she’s not supposed to call, and wouldn’t if it wasn’t important. She has to do something, and isn’t sure if she can go through with it. She needs to be told it’s okay.
Molly says, it was one night; she barely knows him. Sam asks if she picked him up, like in a bar, and Kristina says, thisbar? Molly says, it’s not like that. She was fed up. She’d thought TJ dumped her without even the courtesy of a goodbye. She was thinking, the last ten years was a waste; a mistake. She was angry, and frustrated, and looking to vent. He was the first face she saw, they got to talking, and they clicked. Kristina says she has one thing to say … good for her. She probably thought she’d be spending the rest of her life with TJ, and not know who else was out there. Now she knows. Molly asks if Kristina thinks she sampled him like a freebie at the supermarket, and Sam asks if he was hot. Molly says she wants a change of subject, and Sam says she’s curious as to why Molly agreed to the domestic partnership. Kristina asks if she felt pressured because she slept with another guy. Molly asks if she’s going there, and Sam thinks Molly owes it to herself and TJ to figure out what she really wants.
TJ says, Brando repaired his partner’s car; Molly Lansing Davis. Brando flashes back to Molly telling him that her boyfriend was just brought into GH. She’d thought he dumped her, but he didn’t; he was kidnapped. Brando tells TJ, it was a hybrid, and she ran over a curb. TJ says he was hoping to pick it up, and surprise her, if the car is ready. Brando says, it was finished this morning. He looks for the invoice, and says he takes card, cash, or a check. TJ asks if Brando doesn’t want to check his ID.
Sonny tells Cyrus to get his man off of him, and not-Jason backs up. Cyrus says, no apology? He wonders how it would play out if the situation was reversed. Sonny says, if it was nothing personal, it would be no big deal. Cyrus says, it was about Sonny’s father, wasn’t it? and Sonny says they’re here to talk business. And he’s going to do the talking.
Back at her place, on the phone, Lulu says she wants a revision as soon as possible. She’ll believe it when she has the documents, and wants to move forward as soon as possible. She thanks Diane, and Laura says she told Abigail to go home, and Charlotte is listening to music with her ear buds. What did Diane say? Lulu says Diane told her there’s no reason to go back to family court. She said Valentin won’t fight her petition. Laura says, but she’s going anyway, and Lulu says she is. Laura says, Lulu doesn’t trust him, and Lulu says, does she? Laura flashes back to telling Valentin, she’d never heard him call his own parenting skills into question. He says he doesn’t want to overthink it, and asks her to promise to take care of his daughter, and instill conscience, generosity, and kindness in her. Laura says, of course (🍷) she will, and asks what he’s saying. He says if Lulu decides to go ahead with her petition, he’s not contesting it. Laura tells Lulu, normally, no, but in this case, she thinks Valentin is telling the truth.
Molly says she slept with another guy because she lost faith in TJ, and Kristina says she gets that part. Molly wonders why she was so quick to think the worst, and Sam says, TJ disappeared for several days. They had no idea he was kidnapped. Molly flashes back to Jordan telling her to stop acting like a child. She’s acting like a spoiled, entitled brat. TJ doesn’t want to see her. Grow up, and accept that her actions have consequences. She broke TJ’s heart, and he doesn’t want to be with her. Molly tells Sam and Kristina, she had the worst fight with TJ’s mom. Jordan said she’d rejected TJ, and he had every right to reject her. She was so mad, she thought TJ was breaking up with her through his mother, but of course (🍷) he’d never do that. She should have realized. Kristina says she was hurt and angry, and Molly says, it wasn’t the best time to be thinking clearly. She got in the car, and was driving distracted. She drove up on a curb, and did something to the undercarriage. She didn’t want to drive home and damage it more, but there was a garage not far away. It was already closed, but the mechanic let her in. She was speed talking, like she is now, but worse. He said it was fixable, and she asked if he could do the work. He went out of his way to avoid taking advantage of her. Kristina says, he sounds like nice guy, and Molly says, very. They just met him. Brando Corbin.
TJ asks if Brando doesn’t want to call Molly and double-check. Brando says his driver’s license is fine, and the address matches Molly’s. That’s good enough for him. He’ll just run the card, and TJ is good to go; the keys are in the car. TJ looks at the invoice, and says, hold on. There’s something wrong here.
Cyrus tells his dude, it’s okay. Sonny is right. His father’s condition is a family matter, and has nothing to do with their negotiations. Sonny says, Cyrus made his father part of the negotiations, when he tried to take Sony out in front of him. Cyrus says he was in Pentenville when the attempt was made on Sonny’s life. Sonny says it was the same day Cyrus tried to take out his son, and his place of business. His wife was almost killed. Cyrus says, yet here he is; a free man. Sonny says, that doesn’t mean he’s untouchable, or innocent… or safe.
Tomorrow, Molly knows what she has to do, Charlotte tells Nina to leave her alone, and Sonny tells Cyrus that he’s going to do the talking.
Below Deck Sailing Yacht
Time to watch Adam do what he does best. Be a d-bag.
Syvota, Greece. Primary Lyndi yaps about how much she loves Adam, and boyfriend Jesse tells her, lock it up. She says she’ll do the opposite of what he says. She’ll do what Adam says. Jesse asks if he means nothing, and she says she showed up for him when it was important. He tells her, if she wants someone else, tell him now. Guest Missy tells Jenna, she needs alcohol for this conversation. Jenna tells Madison, they’re breaking up. Jesse asks if Lyndi is still mad about Mother’s Day, and she says she is. We get no more insight as to what that means. Georgia flirts with Chris. In Chris’s interview, he believes if you have a connection with someone, you should act on it. Usually, the first three months is amazing, and then it deteriorates. Jenna pushes Chris to do them all a favor, and hook up with Georgia.
Missy says she and Lyndi will be together forever, and be buried together. The guests get up from dinner, and Lyndi wants to fine the galley. Ciara tells Adam, incoming. Lyndi asks if this is where the magic happens. In Adam’s interview, he thinks it’s funny that these women are hitting on him, and Jenna has to work for them. Well, they are drunk, and I doubt they’d look twice at him on land, and if he wasn’t cooking fabulous food for them. Jenna tells Jesse, the ladies went to galley. Adam thanks them for dropping in. Jesse drinks straight from a bottle of (I think) champagne, and Adam says, it was the most awkward thing ever.
Madison cleans up. In her interview, she says, without Parker, she’s not lonely, but alone. She has no one to eat granola and shoot the sh*t with, and misses a friendly face. In his interview, Chris says he creeps in and out of the cabin when he’s on anchor watch. He’s the ninja of night watch. He relieves Ciara, who says Paget will be there around 8 am. Glenn wants to move the boat, then do the music festival. Paget and Chris throw their native slang around.
A swarm of bees suddenly congregates around the breakfast table. On the breakfast really. Evelyne says she’s being attacked, and Lyndi says she’s excited about the avocado toast. Evelyne gets up, and edges away from the bees. In Jenna’s interview, she says they’re in the middle of the ocean. Where TF are bees coming from? It is pretty weird.
Adam and Jenna snuggle in the galley. Georgia flirts some more with Chris. In Madison’s interview, she asks, can we not be all coupled up? Jenna makes a call to order tiki torches, and material for flower crowns. In Chris’s interview, he says seeing Paget and Ciara, he knows how hard it is. He worked on Eric Clapton’s boat with his ex, Clair, and it was fine, but previously, when they both worked on deck, it was a nightmare. Paget tells Chris that Ciara works as hard as his mum, and Chris asks if Paget goes for women like his mum. Paget says, that came out a little weird. Jenna tells the guests that they’ll be having dessert on the beach.
It’s 14 knots, and Glenn decides to sail. Jenna asks Paget if he’s good with playing guitar tonight, and he and Georgia decide to rehearse. In Jenna’s interview, she says, Ciara has no reaction unless she’s hiding it. If it was her boyfriend, she doubts she could sit back and watch that happen.
Lyndi tells the other girls, it was a bad idea to go to the galley last night, and she thinks they embarrassed Adam. He’s hot, talented, and sweet. Jenna tells them that she and Adam are dating, and the girls squeal, telling her they’re adorable. Lyndi says, Jesse will be happy. Paget and Georgia practice, and in Georgia’s interview, she says, Paget is talented in singing and songwriting. She’s never had that in common with a guy. The more time you spend with someone, the more you like them, and that’s when more things slip through the cracks. It’s effing inconvenient. Anchor is dropped.
Georgia tells Jenna that flower crowns are going to be harder than olive branches. Jenna says no one has ever done anything special for her, and she’d probably cry if Adam gave her flowers. In Adam’s interview, he says it’s absurd to him that Jenna has never gotten flowers. He asks Paget to run him over to the beach. In his interview, Adam says he’s not usually romantic, but he wants to be a good boyfriend. He has no time to pull this off, but he’s going to make it happen. He runs onto the beach, immediately clonking his head on a low branch. Paget asks if he’s okay, and in his interview, Adam says he’s not sure which is more bruised; his ego or his face. He says he went full speed foraging for wildflowers. Paget says he looks like a mountain goat, and Adam says, there are slim pickings.
The guests take photos on deck. In Byron’s interview, he says, before this charter, he didn’t know what an influencer was. They can make enough to charter a yacht by posting photos? Sign him up. In Adam’s interview, he says he barely has time for a bathroom break, but he got the flowers. He puts them in water, hiding them, and tells Jenna he went to shore for garnishes. Adam makes dinner, and Madison and Chris set up on the beach, while Jenna is on dinner service. In Jenna’s interview, she says, the last barbecue Madison did was an effing disaster, but this time she’d love to see some initiative. She says she’ll check it beforehand.
Adam serves dinner. What the hell is a reduction anyway? Madison and Chris set everything up on the beach. In Madison’s interview, she says Jenna thinks she can’t do this, but she attended a lot of music festivals after her sister passed away. She’s got this. She tells Jenna, she thinks it looks cute, and Jenna heads out on the tender. She says, it’s nice to see a sandy beach for a change. She was nervous as to what Madison could pull off, but it looks beautiful. Little lights make everything look beautiful, and there are lots of those, along with some small fire pits. Chris sleeps, and Madison does laundry, while the girls get flower crowns at the beach. Georgia and Paget play guitar and sing. Jesse asks Missy if he’s crazy, and says he loves Lyndi. He’s not sure if she loves him though, and Missy says she does, and tells him that he’s sweet. When the song is finished, everyone applauds, but in her interview, Ciara rolls her eyes. Jesse tells Jenna that he wants to propose, but has no ring. She asks if he wants hers, and she struggles to get it off. In Jenna’s interview, she says, it’s super awkward. Twelve hours ago, Lyndi was flirting with Adam, and not interested in Jesse. She hopes this guy gets married. Jesse kneels in front of Lyndi, and gives her some roses. He tells her that he loves her, and shows her Jenna’s ring, saying, it’s just a symbol, and asks her to marry him. This would be a totally romantic thing, if there weren’t a dozen other people around, and if there hadn’t been this weirdness the night before.
Everyone waits, and Jesse kind of kisses Lyndi. She says she’s uncomfortable, and wants everyone to stop. Jenna says, this is awkward, and tells Paget and Georgia to play something. Lyndi and Jesse find a more private spot, and he says all he’s hearing is that she doesn’t want to be with him. She says she doesn’t know what she wants, and he says that means she knows what she doesn’t want. Adam hands out bananas foster. Lyndi says Jesse is sweet, but she doesn’t know if she wants to get married. Jesse gives her a piggyback ride back to the group. Evelyne says, congratulations! She loves them! Jesse says Lyndi didn’t say yes, squashing Evelyne’s hope for an Instagram story as her bridesmaid. Adam goes back to the boat, and Jenna radios Madison that she’s coming back with the guests.
Adam whistles as he arranges the flowers. In his interview, he says, Jenna said she loves small gestures, and he wants to show her that he’s listening. Being romantic and vulnerable isn’t like him; she’d better love the flowers. I can tell already that this is going to go bad. Who makes this big a deal out of flowers unless they’re five and picked them for mom? He brings the vase to Jenna in the galley. She admires them, and says if she had more energy, she’d be tearful. She didn’t know you could get flowers in this sort of situation. He says, the flowers are ugly, but it was the best the beach had to offer. I hate when people act this way. The flowers are actually quite pretty, and include my favorite, Queen Anna’s lace. He also arranged them well. In Adam’s interview, he says he thought they were on the same page, and she’d be stoked. It hurts a little. He was excited to give them to her; he worked all day for them (more than a slight exaggeration), and wanted to make her feel special. He feels like he failed, and he hates to fail. Jenna tells Byron about the proposal, and how she leant Jesse her ring. She says, she didn’t say yes, and Byron says it’s Jenna’s fault. In the hot tub, Jesse tells Lyndi about Jenna being all for it, and Lyndi says she wouldn’t be talking to Adam then. On the way back to their rooms, Lyndi tells Missy that Jesse handled it well, even though she thought he might cry. She would have hidden under a rock.
In the morning, Adam makes breakfast. He’s short with Jenna, and in her interview, she says he seems to be mad at her. Why? She has no clue.
Glenn docks the boat. The crew lines up, and Georgia pretends to be a guest leaving, and says she’ll have Chris later. In his interview, Chris says, Georgia is flirty, and says what she thinks. She’s a little dirty, and he likes that. Lyndi says it was the best vacation of their lives, and the crew outdid themselves. After bestowing the tip envelope on Glenn, the guests leave, and he blasts the horn, his signature. Chris hunts down Georgia in the laundry room, and asks what she’s up to tomorrow. Would she like to come to a fish foot bar with him? We both say, what? Then she says, okay?It’s the pinnacle of romance. In her interview, she says her mama didn’t raise a quitter. She’ll give it a go. I’m guessing it’s one of those pedicures where little fishies nibble at your toes.
It’s charter debrief time. Glenn welcomes Chris, saying, he hit the ground running. In Chris’s interview, he says he survived his first charter. No one pissed him off, everyone seems fun, and he fits in his bunk. Glenn says, the beach picnic went great, except for the proposal, but that’s on the guests, not them. He tells them, the music made a real impression; keep it up. They have two more charters, and he wants to turn it up a bit, and finish strong. The tip is $12700, or $1400 each. Meh. In Byron’s interview, he says, so influencers don’t make that much money. Good to know. Ciara asks Paget to go out to dinner with her, and in her interview, says they’re always preoccupied with work, and forget to spend time with each other. Paget will forget he has a girlfriend to take care of. Chris has put on a Hawaiian shirt, and Ciara and Georgia both wear black bras under denim jackets. In Jenna’s interview, she says, Paget’s girlfriend and dream girl are both dressed the same. They’re one step closer to that threesome.
The crew goes to the oldest restaurant in the city. Ciara, Paget, Jenna, and Adam split off and go across the street. Jenna keeps thinking they’ll run into Parker. She asks where Paget and Ciara would live if they weren’t working on a boat. Ciara says she likes Spain, but they were talking about Portugal. Paget wanders across the street, and drinks Georgia’s shot. In Madison’s interview, she says she’s over this dinner. Going out with the entire coupled crew blows d*ck. She tells everyone that she’s just an ugly a-hole, and Byron says, that was random. It’s no surprise everyone stared at her when she said that, but she says she doesn’t need everyone looking at her, and Byron asks, what’s going on?Why the random outburst? Chris says, they care, that’s all, and Madison walks off. Byron says they have a leaver. She craves attention, but hates the spotlight.
Madison comes back, and Byron asks why she’s in a bad mood. She says she’d rather not be there, and Byron says, so let’s go. She says she’s not a fan of group dinners. They move on to a club, and have shots at the bar, except for the cheese Madison, who stands alone. Georgia dances like a robot on crack. Jenna tells Byron, Madison has no tolerance for anything. In Byron’s interview, he says, it’s a façade. Madison is all high-fives and positive vibes, but she thrives on being overly dramatic. He doesn’t know why she’s insecure. He suggests they go back to the boat, and Adam whines that he’s been waiting to go for the last two hours.
On the way back, Madison jets ahead. Byron says she has issues, but he doesn’t know anything about her family. Georgia says she knows there was a tragedy; Madison’s sister was murdered. Byron says that’s enough for him to know. In Paget’s interview, he says that’s horrible. He doesn’t know Madison well, but when he hears something like that, it could explain some behaviors. Jenna asks if Adam wants to go to the master, but he says he doesn’t need a crew mutiny. She says the only mutiny he has to worry about is hers.
Chris gets in the hot tub, but Georgia tells Paget she’s not getting in. Paget and Ciara go to their cabin, and Jenna and Adam go to the master. We don’t see them, but we hear their conversation, and they don’t exactly bask long in the afterglow. Adam says it was amazing, and Jenna says she feels like he’s holding something back. He asks why she always brings up something stupid, and she says he’s this person she loves. He tells her, he’s not saying he loves anyone three weeks in. She asks if he’s aware of what he’s doing, and he says they just had incredible sex, and she has to bring up this effing bullsh*t and ruin the moment. She tells him not to attack her, and he says he will attack her. He’s showered her with compliments. She says, and if she doesn’t react properly, he gets mad. He says all he’s done is tell her how cool and beautiful she is, and he brought her flowers. She reacted like a corpse. She says she’s not sure if he’s pushing her away, but he’s pushing somebody away. Stop. He says she started it. Give him his pillow; he’s leaving. She says he’ll go hang in a van by himself; it’s what he does. He says, it’s easier than being with her, and she tells him, don’t do this.
I say, Jenna, don’t do this. Adam is such an infant, he doesn’t deserve a grown-ass woman.
Next time, the boat tilts in a big way, Georgia and Chris go to the fish foot bar (which is what I thought it is), the primary is battling stage four cancer, Adam throws a tantrum, and Madison is done with this sh*t.
💇♀️ Just Another Tease…
By the time they revive All My Children and One Life To Live, Erica will be on her 25th husband, and Vicki on her 25th personality.
They’re actors, dammit! I love these shows done from people’s homes now. I like looking around, even though you know they’re talking from the most KonMaried room in the house. I keep checking out the bowl of oranges in Dr. Phil’s kitchen, seeing if they change.
🍼 A new season of sMothered begins on May 24th at 10 pm on TLC. I watched the first one, but I don’t know how I feel about any of it. The mother/daughter relationships go from cutsie, but still intrusive, to downright creepy. Yeah, I’ll probably watch it again.
🛺 Getting There…
It’s been a little while now, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Soon we’ll be back to the new old normal. and while I can’t promise this will all seem like a mediocre to bad dream, it will ultimately be what you make it. In the meantime, stay safe, stay (relatively) sane, and stay not as tone deaf as Gal Gadot.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 