Category Archives: soap opera

December 7, 2016 – Lulu Can’t Get Charlotte Off Her Mind & Hairspray Live! Can’t Stop the Beat

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie noses around on Nathan’s laptop, trying to find out what her wedding gift is, but he catches her. He tells her it’s not a surprise if she keeps snooping. She claims she was setting up something with a dance lesson, and says they need practice before the wedding. He says, let’s dance.

At Kelly’s, Jason tells Sam that Julian is the one who set up the bomb hoping that Sonny would get the blame. Curtis adds that it’s speculation, and they don’t have much in the way of proof. Pete was killed before they could talk to him. He thinks they should combine resources. Jason says they’ve already told him everything. Curtis thinks maybe they should go to the cops.

Jordan asks the mayor if she wants things fast or right. She says if anything unusual comes up, she’ll call. Another call comes in. She sees that it’s Andre.

Andre tries to call Jordan. Anna comes to his office asking for his help.

The doorbell rings at Windemere. Valentin answers. It’s Nina. Shouldn’t he have someone to answer the door for him? And aren’t there guards or bouncers or something? Valentin shows Nina the Christmas tree, which of course is fabulous. Charlotte is out at a movie, while Valentin and the staff decorate.

Lulu is in the hallway, pondering. She tells Dante she can’t stop thinking about Charlotte. She says when she looked at her, she felt a connection.

Curtis says the police have access to information and resources that they don’t. Jason is afraid they won’t admit they’re wrong, since they’ve been after Sonny for a long time. Sam agrees and doesn’t think they should trust the cops. Curtis wants to talk to Jordan, but Jason asks him to wait. Jason and Sam leave. I think they stuck Curtis with the check.

Andre thinks he should refer Anna to someone else, considering their history. She tells him that she’s not there as a patient; she wants to consult him on a case. She needs some insight into Valentin.

Valentin asks Nina if he’s missing anything as far as the decorations go. She asks if Charlotte has a stocking, but he says she puts it up on Christmas Eve. Nina says she did too, but it was in the playroom, so that it didn’t clash with her mother’s theme for the year. There was never anything under the tree either. It wasn’t a place of love and togetherness, but a place to conduct business. She got a lot of presents bought by assistants. It was extravagant and completely empty. Valentin says he had a gift one year from the cook at school. She knitted him a scarf. He had it for years until the airline lost his bag. They both can picture each other as children. He asks her to stay for dinner, but she has to go. She tells him to have Charlotte open the gift right away. It’s an Advent calendar.

One of the staff comes to the door. The launch has been grounded because of a storm. No one can leave Spoon Island.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, she had a physical reaction and immediate need to protect her. She says she literally feels a pull toward her, like she feels toward Rocco. She asks Dante if he thinks it’s possible that Charlotte is her daughter.

Curtis goes to the station. He wants to talk to Jordan, but she wants him to leave. He says it’s purely professional, and she says he has 30 seconds. He tells her it’s about the Corrinthos case. He says they both have information that the other doesn’t, and you show me yours, and I’ll show you mine.

Jason goes with Sam to her doctor’s appointment. While they’re waiting, Sam asks what he thinks about Curtis’s idea. He says it’s a great idea, but highly doubtful it would work. He says Jordan seems honest, but he doesn’t think she’ll listen. He says at least they’re making progress, and thinks Sonny will eventually go free. They discuss moving away from Port Charles.

Lulu wonders why she’d feel so strongly about a child she’s never met. Dante says the embryo was destroyed. She says they don’t know for sure, and how do they know that Claudette is really Charlotte’s mom?

Valentin calls Charlotte who’s at the MetroCourt and going to spend the night there. I guess it’s a mall, and a hotel, and all the restaurants in town rolled into one – and there’s a movie theater! Nina says she’s leaving. She thinks Valentin is manipulating her, but he says he’s not in control of the weather. She leaves and he counts. He gets to one and she’s back inside, soaking wet.

Andre tells Anna that it isn’t a typical WSB profile, and she says she knows it’s slim. He asks what she’s looking for, and she wants to know what Valentin’s agenda is. Andre recognizes his alias, Theo Hart, as being involved in an international diamond ring. He says they were smart and connected, and just as the authorities were ready to make an arrest, they closed up shop and disappeared. Anna tells Andre what little she knows about Valentin. Andre says they can get the Bedlington transcripts, but Anna says after he left, the school burned down, and the files were lost. It was arson, and she’s sure it was him, and she intends to uncover whatever he’s hiding about his past.

Jordan asks why Curtis is still investigating. He says he wants to get to the truth. She says he’s not known for his altruism, so what’s the angle? He says if she wants Lomax off her back, he has what she needs. She gets a pair of handcuffs and cuffs him to the desk.

Nathan puts on some music. He and Maxie start to do a swing number. When Maxie goes to answer her phone, Nathan takes a spill.

Lulu thinks it’s possible that after things didn’t work out with Daphne, Helena hired Claudette instead. She says no one has investigated if she’s Charlotte’s mother. Dante says there’s proof Valentin is her father, so she’s not Stavros’s child.

Valentin gives Nina some clothing. He thinks it’s from Nicholas’s ex-fiance. He tells Nina to get dry and he’ll see about dinner.

Andre tells Anna it’s possible that it was a cover up, but Valentin could have been seeking closure and catharsis. He might have felt abandoned, and once empowered as an adult, went back to the source of his powerlessness and unhappiness. Andre thinks there’s definitely an inferiority complex going on. Anna talks about Valentin stammering when she asked about his father. She thinks there’s something missing. Andre asks what is it about Valentin and why is the case giving her so much trouble?

Anna says she’s unsettled that Valentin has researched her. She tells Andre about Valentin telling her “open your eyes,” and says he told her it was just a coincidence. Andre says it’s no secret she was with the WSB, but she says there’s more to it. Valentin seems familiar. Andre asks if she thinks she knows him, but she says it’s more like he knows her.

Valentin presents dinner to Nina. She says he makes her nervous. He asks if it’s because of what people say about him. Nina tells him that she’s been warned about him, but she’s spent more time with him than with the people who warned her. He makes her nervous because they’re eating in front of the fire and it feels like the start of something. He says maybe it is. I’m in. She says she’s only had two relationships. The first was cold and distant. She invested time and saw a future, but he didn’t see it. Valentin says the same thing happened to him, and she asks if he’s talking about Claudette.

Lulu says Stavros and Valentin were brothers, so maybe there was some kind of mistake. Dante wonders if there’s competition for the estate, but Lulu tells him that Mikkos left everything to Valentin, no question. Dante wonders if Valentin was just going after the other Cassadines for sport, and says maybe Charlotte is still alive because she’s no threat. Lulu admits that maybe she just wants Charlotte to be her daughter.

Jason is hesitant about moving away just now,  and Sam says they don’t have to make a decision yet. He thinks it’s not the right time to move, and she’s okay with that. The doctor comes in. She asks if they’re ready to meet their baby.

Curtis says that Jordan has no grounds to detain him, but she says he’s a person of interest, and she can legally keep him for 24 hours. He tells her that he can get out of the cuffs, and she asks if he can get out of an arrest warrant, or does he want to cooperate? He says he’s aware of the surveillance footage and that there was a van blocking the camera. He tells her that the van belongs to Julian’s company. She tells him he used the word “we,” and asks who he’s working with.

Jason and Sam look at the ultrasound. The doctor says the baby is looking good. She asks if they want to know the sex. I do! I do!

Curtis tells Jordan that he likes to work alone and misspoke. She doesn’t believe it, and he says she’s right, but he’s not telling her, and he’s given her all the information that he has. She let’s him loose. She says there’s something she thinks he should see. She takes him in the back, and brings out a laptop. She says she has the footage at a different angle from a red light camera, adding that technically it’s public record. She says he gave her something, and she’s returning the favor.

Jason says it’s up to Sam. Sam thinks a surprise is exciting. The doctor says she wrote it down, and they can open it or forget it exists. Jason says thanks for the temptation.

Nathan has hurt his back. Maxie suggests going to the doctor. She asks if he’s going to be okay to do the first dance at the wedding, and he says wild horses couldn’t pull him away; he’ll be there with his dancing shoes on. He has to get back to work, but promises only the desk and an ice pack. As soon as he’s out of the room, Maxie reaches for his laptop, and he tells her to stay off of it. I laugh.

Lulu tells Dante that she can accept that Charlotte isn’t hers. Dante suggests a mini-vacation, but she says they can’t just drop everything and leave; she still has to finalize things for Haunted Star New Year’s Eve party. Dante leaves. Lulu sees a Christmas bow on the floor and ponders again.

Nina tells Valentin that she was lucky. Those relationships weren’t going to last. She needed to live her own life and find out what made her happy. Valentin tells her she’s already learned the most important lesson – you have to get what you want for yourself. She says most people think she’s fragile and defined by her past, but she’s not fragile, and she’s an independent adult. He says they have that in common, being defined by their past. They kiss.

Lulu visits Maxie. She wants an honest opinion. She says she can’t let something go, even after talking to Dante. She thinks Valentin has her daughter, and wants Maxie to help her prove it.

At the station, Dante asks to talk to Nathan. He tells Nathan about Lulu’s theory on Charlotte.

Valentin tells Nina that he doesn’t want to take advantage. She says he’s not.

Andre asks if Anna thinks Valentin came to Port Charles purposely to follow her. She says she’s not that self-absorbed, but thinks she can find what she needs in the rubble at Bedlington.

Jordan tells Curtis that if he clears Sonny’s name, to make sure that Sonny doesn’t take the law into his own hands. She says she knows he’s working for Jason, but she’s trusting him. If he gets a lead as to who planted the bomb, he needs to come to her first, not Sonny. She tells him to just think about it. After she’s gone, he looks at the footage and says, what the hell…?

Sam asks Jason what he wants to do. His phone rings. It’s Curtis. Curtis tells him not to get mad, and Jason says he shouldn’t start a conversation that way. Curtis says he has something really big.

Tomorrow, Lulu and Maxie look at some files that could have the answer, Tom introduces himself to Kiki, and Dante wonders if Charlotte is Lulu’s daughter.

Hairspray Live!

🎶 I hope a lot of you watched this. Harvey Feirstien reprised his original role of Edna, and – sorry John Travolta – nobody does it better. I saw him on Broadway and I still get excited just thinking about it. But that’s not why I’m hoping a lot of people watched it. John Waters said more with his story about a fat, white girl wanting equality for all than anyone will ever say with the negative crap I see online. If you don’t like musicals, check out the original movie with Divine playing Edna (I was also blessed to see him on stage in Women Behind Bars). Same message without the songs. But if you watch this, be prepared for – horrors! – cultural appropriation, or what we used to call sharing our culture. Today, people can’t seem to make up their minds as to whether they want to be homogenized or smack your hand away from their hair-do. Personally, I prefer to call the USA not a melting pot – a term we were once described as, but never seemed to grasp – but a stew pot, where every ingredient is different, yet all of them work together.

Mini-lecture over. Hairspray Live! was everything. More than a play, it was an event, with live feeds on TV from various cities, a live audience for the show, behind-the-scenes footage, and the Facebook Live comments going so fast, it was hard to read them, much less reply to any. There were a few technical glitches, but the cast didn’t miss a beat, and you could tell they were enjoying the hell out of it. It was a wonderful way to bring people together. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I felt good afterward, and certainly better than I do after looking at my Facebook newsfeed.

And while my father can no longer build us a stage in the barn, we can still join together in singing and dancing to promote unity.

December 6, 2016 – Secrets Abound on GH, Below Deck Ends, Beverly Hills Begins & Ladies of London Gets an Honorable Mention

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly he couldn’t find the gifts. She tells him he was looking on the wrong side of the bed.

Michael asks Nell if they’re still on for the gala, which he just asked her to five minutes ago. Kiki walks into the office.

In the parking garage, Jason peels the name off the side of the van. Underneath, it says Derek Wells Media, which is Julian’s company. The light bulb comes on over Jason’s head.

Alexis tells Julian that he’s blackmailing her, but he calls it tough love. She sarcastically tells him his concern for the greater good is one of his finest qualities. He tells her that the ethics committee is the least of her concerns. Jordan has been nosing around about the hit and run. Alexis finds it ironic that he’s threatening to involve police. Sam sees Alexis in Julian’s room and asks her what she’s doing there.

Charlotte tells Santa that she wants her mommy for Christmas. She and Lulu lock eyes. Laura asks if Lulu found Rocco’s Christmas list. She asks who the little girl is, and Dante tells her. He asks if Lulu has met her. She says no, she hasn’t.

Carly digs the gifts out from under the bed and goes back downstairs. Sonny looks at the photo of them together and then at the necklace.

Michael tells Kiki that Nell agreed to come to the Toys for Tots benefit with him. Kiki says she’s there to pick up her final paycheck. Michael wonders what happened, and Kiki tells him that she and Carly came to an understanding. Michael tells her good luck with whatever’s next, and tells Nell he’ll text her with the details. When he leaves, Kiki is like, you and Michael?

Carly is on her phone, and tells Sonny that for a season of love and good cheer, people can be very demanding. This is a surprise? Sonny suggests Olivia take some of the load. Carly says she’ll be sure to tell Olivia that it was his idea.

Curtis tells Jason that this could mean a few things, and they kick around a few scenarios. They decide to damage the van and then pretend to be concerned, responsible citizens who want to pay for the damage. Jason bashes the van with a crowbar.

Julian tells Sam that he asked Alexis to come. Sam asks what reason Alexis could have for seeing the man who tried to kill her.

Valentin introduces Charlotte to Rocco and they go off for cookies. He tells Dante and Lulu that their children have taken a shine to each other. Lulu doesn’t look pleased.

Michael stops by Sonny’s and they talk about celebrating Christmas early with Josslyn. Carly thanks Sonny for helping her, and he thanks her for coming by. Michael asks Carly if she can spare Nell on the 12th.

Nell tells Kiki that there’s nothing going on between her and Michael. She thinks he just took pity on her and wanted her to have a night out. Kiki says he’s thoughtful and starts to say something else, but stops. She tells Nell that they had a brief relationship, but they broke up because she hurt him and she went back to Morgan. She says she was keeping a huge secret from him.

Dante tells Valentin to back off, but Nina says this is for the kids. Laura thinks that Nina should ask Valentin to leave, but Doc suggests radical acceptance. He says that you can’t control the situation, but you can control your attitude and where you put your focus. Lulu talks to Charlotte. She starts asking Charlotte questions, but Nina says the only question Charlotte should be answering is what she wants for Christmas.

Alexis tells Sam that she thought it might be her last chance to tell Julian to go to hell. Sam says now that she knows Julian is going to live, can they go? Alexis says they’re done, and she and Sam leave. In the hallway, Sam asks Alexis if she’s all right. Alexis says she’s somewhere between yay he’s out of her life, and at least he didn’t hold a knife to her throat. Sam says she has the feeling there’s something else. Alexis says she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she’s done with Julian. Sam goes down in the elevator.

Laura steers Santa to the kids. Nina says if Lulu and Dante have a problem with Valentin, fine, but it doesn’t give them the right to interrogate his daughter. Valentin says he loves Charlotte the same way they love their children. He suggests a playdate and Dante is like, no. Nina wants to get Valentin and Charlotte some hot chocolate, and they leave together. Dante asks Lulu what’s up with that?

The driver shows up and asks Jason and Curtis if they’re the idiots who messed up the van. They claim they were arguing over a Bill’s game and it got out of control. The driver says his boss is going to be mad, and they’re going to have to pay for it. Curtis says they want to talk to him about his boss, and asks if it’s Julian.

Michael explains about taking Nell to the gala, and Carly thinks it’s a fine idea. She leaves, and Michael asks Sonny about her visit. Sonny says he doesn’t know what she’s feeling, and Michael says it looks like a start of the thaw. Sonny asks if Michael is interested in Nell.

Nell asks what secret Kiki kept from Michael. Kiki says it had to do with their parents, but Michael deserves someone who treats him better than she did. Nell gives her the check, and says that Kiki is taking it well. Kiki says it was time to leave. Nell says it would be understandable if there were hard feelings.

Kiki says she has no hard feelings. She asks Nell if she told Carly about their conversation regarding her breaking up with Morgan. Nell says she didn’t say anything, and Kiki tells her that both Carly and Michael knew about her plans and were furious at first, but now they’re being kind. They’ll never forget though, and she doesn’t blame them. She says the loss and hurt stay with you. Nell agrees.

Michael tells Sonny that he and Nell are just friends. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t take better care of Sonny, but Nell pinch-hit and he wants to return the favor.

The driver thinks Curtis and Jason are cops because they’re asking about Julian. Curtis says his partner is crazy and took his anger out on the van with a tire iron. Jason says he used to do what he was told. but one morning woke up with a chip in his brain, and now gets urges to hit something or someone until the voices go away. He suggests the driver tell them what he knows about Julian.

Julian says, back so soon? to Alexis and she tells him drop dead. He says had she hit someone else, they might not be so understanding. He says he’s not trying to extort anything from her (no, just her time and emotion) or have her do criminal acts; he just wants her to help him.

Laura tells Santa he has a five-minute break and closes the door. He asks what she’d like for Christmas. She wonders if it’s cliche to say world peace. He says that’s out of his league. She says peace of mind then, and he says he can work with that. She asks what’s going on with Charlotte. He tells Laura that she’s well-adjusted considering the upheaval. Laura says she also adores her father, and has no idea what Valentin is capable of.

Valentin and Nina have taken Charlotte to Kelly’s. Nina has Charlotte go to pick out a cookie, and Valentin thanks Nina for her interception. She says he could have held his own with Lulu. He says when someone puts that much energy into not liking you, you have to walk on egg shells. Nina wonders why Lulu wants to get so involved, and says they have to protect Charlotte.

Sam and Molly enter Kelly’s. Sam sees Valentin and stops short. She tells Molly who Valentin is.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, something came over her. She was immediately drawn to her and can’t explain it. Dante says he thinks he can.

Carly tells Nell sorry she’s late and that it’s been a stressful day. She says she went to see Sonny. Nell asks how he seemed, and Carly says distracted. She tells Nell that she gave her the night off for the gala, and she’s glad Michael has a friend like her.

Michael thinks Sonny and Carly’s relationship is getting better, and that Carly came there to see him, no matter what excuse she gave. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re back together, and she doesn’t want to punish him for something he didn’t do.

Dante tells Lulu that Charlotte has been bounced around like a pinball. Lulu says that she also recently found out they lost their chance to have another child. Dante tells her that she’s a caring person and Charlotte has been through a lot, so her instincts kicked in; she wants to protect Charlotte. Lulu says she’s sure he must be right, but I’m not buying that she believes it.

Valentin tells Nina how lovely she looks. He mentions that she said “we” need to take care of Charlotte. She apologizes for the presumption, but he says it means the world to him. Nina tells him that she’s completely taken with Charlotte and her adorableness. She says it’s no secret that she wants a child, but this has nothing to do with that; she wants what’s best for her. Valentin says he’s thanking his lucky stars. He could have easily walked past Nina the night they met in the hotel. There was something about her though. She’s charming and beautiful, but it’s more than that. Most people have an agenda, but she’s honest about who she is and what she wants, and he likes her.

Outside Kelly’s, Molly tells Sam that she wants to give Valentin a piece of her mind. Sam says he’ll just say it’s a misunderstanding and besides, they have their own family issues to deal with. She tells Molly that Alexis was visiting Julian, and she’s not believing the reason. She thinks Alexis still has a soft spot for him.

Alexis asks Julian what he wants help with. He says he’ll need it when he gets home from the hospital, and she says they have nurses for that. He says he’ll need help with things like shaving, brushing his teeth, and showering. Um…I think they do that too. Alexis asks if this is his ultimate form of punishment, for her to spend every waking hour with him. He says she didn’t used to feel like that, and she says holding a knife to someone’s throat ruins a relationship. He tells her that if anyone finds out she’s the one who hit him, she won’t only lose her license, she’ll lose her freedom.

Jason wants to know what happened the night of the bomb. The driver says it was his assignment to park there. His boss Julian told him to do it.

Nell asks if Carly is worried about Sonny. Carly says there’s something on his mind, and now that she knows he’s not responsible for Morgan’s death… Nell says she thinks they belong together. Nell’s phone rings. It’s Sonny. He tells Nell they need to talk.

Doc tells Laura that Valentin might have been right in saying they’ll always be connected. He says Charlotte is Nicholas’s cousin. Laura says Nicholas is gone, and there’s no more connection. She adds that as much as she hates being involved with Valentin, part of her feels compelled to look out for Charlotte because she is Nicholas’s family, making her part of Laura’s family as well. Doc says she has amazing generosity of spirit and it’s one of the reasons he loves her. A kid bangs on the door saying Santa’s break is over.

Dante asks if Lulu is okay. She says it’s something about Charlotte, and then says never mind.

Nina tells Valentin that she was thinking about Charlotte’s Christmas wish. She says not even a purple unicorn can make up for missing your mother. He says between them, they can make a fine Christmas for her. I’d love to see some kind of A Christmas Carol story with this bunch.

Molly thinks maybe Alexis can get some closure in seeing Julian. Sam says Julian is a narcissist who is encouraged by any attention. Molly says it’s better than Alexis starting to thaw (theme for today). Sam hopes that Alexis knows what she’s doing.

Julian asks Alexis if they have a deal. Alexis says fine. She says no one will believe it though, since everyone knows how much she hates his guts, but he says she can make something up. She says she’s figured it out and they have a deal. That was fast.

Curtis tells Jason that the psycho act was great. The driver is most likely in Canada by now. Jason says he’s probably more worried about Julian than him. Jason says it won’t take long for Julian to figure things out, and Curtis says Julian planted the bomb in his own car. Just in case we haven’t been paying attention.

Tomorrow, Anna asks Andre for help, Lulu wants to know why she feels so strongly about Charlotte, and a gathering happens on Spoon Island.

Below Deck

I’ve decided Ben is kind of an a-hole, which is too bad because I liked him up until now. Anyone who blames someone else for how they act is just, no.

Kate complains to Ben about the stews taking breaks before their work is done. Sierra gets offended because anyone born after 1985 gets offended by just about anything. Kate says it isn’t that they don’t have an amazing team, she just wants them to hit it out of the park for the last charter. When the guests leave, the boat has to look perfect. Ben thinks Kate should be more respectful of people’s breaks. By that I assume he means Emily’s breaks.

Dawn and her guests are doing the snorkeling thing. Nico and Kyle just want to get finished. Kyle says Sierra is an idiot, and Nico points out that he thought she was cool before he found out that she wasn’t into him. Lauren and Kyle talk about hating the job until it’s over; then they love it. In her interview, Lauren says no matter how much they bicker, the crew really loves each other. Um…I dunno about that. Nico says Sierra and Kyle’s fight has nothing to do with him, the same way his altercations with Kate have nothing to do with Kyle, who thinks Kate is awesome.

Sierra has to get a hug from Emily because, see above. She thinks Kate is just looking for things to criticize them about. Emily and Ben chat about finally getting sprung. In her interview, Emily says they’ll see how it goes, as far as having a relationship on the outside. Ha-ha! I’m making it sound like they’re in jail.

Kate encourages Ben to have the food ready when the guests get back. He disagrees, saying they usually want to have a shower and cocktail first. He asks Emily what she thinks because she has so much experience. Emily doesn’t really want to get involved. Ben tells Kate that he’s the chef and calling the shots. He claims he has a valid reason. Kate tries to talk, but he says he’s going to do what he wants anyway. See what I mean?

The guests get back. They’re hungry. Kate tells Ben they’re starving. Captain Lee announces only 16 more hours left. Kate brings out the food and Dawn asks if the captain would like to join them for dinner. Kate tells Ben to keep the food coming. In his interview, Ben says Kate used to be a pleasure to work with. Kate tells the captain about the guests requesting his presence.

Kelley says they’ve grown as a team and now it’s over. He says they’re a highly dysfunctional family, but they’re a family. They promise to all keep in touch. Yeah, we all know how that goes.

Sierra asks Kate if she thinks they’re not working hard enough. Kate tells her about the lack of toilet paper in the guest bathrooms, which I agree is a huge no-no. She says she’s always given them compliments and doesn’t want to finish on a negative note. She mentions that she isn’t taking a break either. She thinks maybe Sierra needs to talk about something, but Sierra says no. Had your chance.

OMG – dinner! Clams or something. It looks amazing. And shrimp! The captain joins the guests. The guests fire questions at him. I find out that he has five children and is from Michigan. Kate compliments Ben on the calamari. She says she never knows which Ben she’s going to get and he says he’s 50 shades of Ben. Ha-ha! Everyone is happy for the moment. Dessert! Kyle says Ben and Kate either hate or love each other and it’s confusing. Kate tells Ben the worst day with him is better than the best day with some of the other chefs.

Kyle asks if Sierra had a mental breakdown. Kate says she tried to be nice, but felt disrespected. Kyle says he prefers to talk face to face, and doesn’t understand why the stews are so defensive with her. In his interview, Kyle says Kate had his back from day one. Kate says she’s done nothing to Nico and Lauren to warrant them talking behind her back, and they have no business questioning her decisions. She tells Kyle she doesn’t need to hear what the one stripe people think. Oh, snap.

Two hours and twenty-six minutes. Ben says he’s mentally moved on and is already in his apartment. The guests are the only ones who don’t want to leave. The captain thinks the Kelley/Nico team has done well.

The final meal! The blue water! The Jacuzzi! Sierra and Lauren gossip about Kate. Zzzzz….

Anchor is dropped and the ship docks. The guests are ready to go. Good-bys are said. Dawn gets emo with the captain who just wants it to be over. He tells everyone to head for the crew mess. This charter’s tip is 16K. The crew has made a total of $13,500 in tips all season. Captain Lee tells the crew to get the boat in better shape than when they got it.

Kate talks to Lauren and Nico. She says she’s heard what they said about how she’d tattled on them to the captain, but the captain found their mess all on his own. She says she had their back and doesn’t rat out the crew. However, she doesn’t appreciate giving them permission to use the boat and them turning the tables. Nico gets pissed and leaves. Lauren apologizes. In her interview, Kate says she’s disappointed. She says at least talk to her face. Nico complains to Kelley who’s staying out of it.

Ashley shows up, and everyone gets ready to go out. The girls all look super cute. Ben wants to make amends with Kate, since she’s a great friend of his and they’re not working together anymore.

The crew goes to a restaurant and begins to drink. The food looks excellent, and I eat vicariously. Ben and Kate step aside to talk. Emily wonders wtf? She tells Sierra it’s confusing. She doesn’t know where they stand or where she stands with Ben. Sierra suggests she give him a chance and get to know him. She also thinks that Emily should say something.

Sierra asks Ben about his relationship with Kate. He says there’s no need to diagnose it. In his interview, he says now Emily is in the middle of all the emotion, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He asks Emily if she wants him to hate Kate forever, and says he’ll be mean to Kate just for her. He says that he and Kate are better off as friends than colleagues, and she brings out a person he doesn’t want to be. He was hoping that Emily had a better grasp of the situation. What I think is that Ben is in love with Kate, and his attraction to Emily has become a problem. Not to mention, Kate is in a relationship.

Kyle comes thisclose to telling Ashley that she completes him. He wants to take things up a notch. He asks Kate for a ring. She’s wearing one that she says is worth two thousand bucks and he says he’ll give her a thousand. Deal. He says he’s proposed once before, but she threw the ring at him the same night. He takes Ashley aside and gets down on one knee. She says yes. Everyone cheers.

Ben acts rude to Kate. She asks if he’s okay. He’s obviously angry. She gives him a drink and he guzzles it. He tells her he doesn’t like working with her anymore. What a jerk he’s become. I hope Emily dumps him, but she’s kind of stupid, so maybe he deserves her. He tells Kate that they’re better off as friends. She says she doesn’t like working with him that much either. She thinks the booze is talking, and she’s tired of hearing it. He says Emily just grilled him about their relationship. Kate tells him that he’s rude, and in her interview, she says that he’s so self-destructive, it’s embarrassing.

Back at the boat, Ashley and Kyle get the guest cabin. Ben gossips with Nico and Lauren. Idiots.

In the morning Ben approaches Kate and apologizes. He says he’s sorry if he ruined her evening. She says it’s typical. He tells her that they’ve come a long way together and he values their friendship. He says he loves her and he’ll always have her back. He asks for a hug, but in her interview, she says the friendship isn’t salvageable.

Lauren tells Nico what great friends they are. Hugs. I think she thinks they’ll still get together one day. Kate says you need a thick skin to work on a boat, and she doesn’t think Sierra has it. Sierra is proud of herself, but thinks she does need to toughen up. Nico and Kelley do the bro thing. Kyle pays Kate for the ring. She expects an invite to the wedding. Kyle can’t wait to have a proper bacon sandwich with HP sauce, which is a brown sauce kind of like Worcestershire.

Kelley tells Kate that he tried to emulate her. In her interview, she thinks he did an amazing job. Kelley talks to the captain, saying he tried to redeem himself, and thinks he did better. I’m not sure by Captain Lee’s face if he’s in agreement, but he says Kelley has progressed incredibly. Kelley is shocked and so am I, and he thanks the captain for his help. Captain Lee says he’d love to work with him again, and Kelley thanks him for the second chance.

Ben apologizes to Emily. He says he felt like a bit of a d*ck. That’s because he was, and more than a bit of. He says she’s the last person he’d want to insult, and he thinks she’s special. In her interview, she says that she’ll give him another chance, but be wary. They kiss. Ben leaves with the flowers and leaves them on the deck so that everyone can trip over them.

In his interview, Ben says that Emily probably hates him, but he’s going to try to make a go of it. She takes a rose out of the flowers. Ben says being in a relationship and doing his job was probably more than he could chew, but he did it, and was a solid seven. By my estimation, he was more like a shaky three.

Kate says good by to the captain. As she leaves, he tells her that she still looks like a guest more than the chief stew.

Captain Lee says this season was tough. We flash back to some of the highlights. He says the bottom line is that the guests left happy and they made a ton of money. Without a doubt, he has the best damn job in the world.

This was the finale. They usually have a reunion, but as of the last one, hadn’t been elevated out of the clubhouse yet.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle’s closet is everything. LisaV calls. They’re planning on meeting at PUMP, and Kyle jokes as to whether they allow the wearing of Birkenstocks (at least I think she’s joking), and asks who’s going to be there. She doesn’t know the couple, but says Boy George loves them. Kyle is friendly with him and says everybody knows everybody in Beverly Hills.

Erika discusses her new song with husband Tom. It’s at number eight, and she says her career is growing. He says he wants to give her a birthday present early. She’s have a big blowout for her 45th. In her interview, she jokes (again, I’m not positive) that it’s all downhill from here. I have news for her. That’s 55 when the slide starts. Tom says she has things for her fingers and ears, but he’s giving her something for her eyes. A Chagall. Eh. It’s okay. She asks if it’s hers or theirs since Chagall is one of his favorites. To be on the safe side, he gives her something else. He gives her an envelope. She asks if it’s a legal doc, but inside there’s a picture of a Cartier panther ring that he has on order.

Harrison! With LisaV, but where’s my Giggy? Giggy! Ken has him. Harrison is a rescue that Lisa is having a passionate affair with. New Housewife Dorit and her husband PK join them at PUMP, along with Kyle and Mauricio. Dorit’s husband is a talent manager who manages Boy George. Dorit says he’s been living with them for a while and is like her gay husband. She tells the group about how she met her husband.

Kyle brings up Erika’s birthday party. Lisa talks about how she and Dorit first met. They talk about Dubai. Ken says he felt like he was there from all the weepy phone calls he got from Lisa. In her interview, Lisa talks about how miserable she was during the trip, being grilled by LisaR. She says that LisaR was unusually aggressive, and Eileen backed her up. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV hangs on to things a long time, but doesn’t think she’s losing any sleep over it.

Harry brings LisaR a new car. It has one of those bows on it. She says this year is about having a good time. Last year was kind of negative. Her father passed away recently and it changed her outlook on everything. She says that she doesn’t have time to worry about old stuff and wants to concentrate on raising her daughters. She doesn’t have time for bullsh*t anymore. I’ll bet she lasts a whole five minutes.

Eileen meets Erika at a bar. Eileen says that Erika might have a flashy persona, but she’s a girl’s girl. Eileen lost her mother just prior to the reunion, but hasn’t really said anything about it. She tells Erika that it’s affected everything that happened last season, making it trivial. Kyle joins them. They discuss Yolanda, who says that she’s 75% better, but taking time to rest, recover, and look after herself. Kyle is working on her new TV show, and they’re deep into casting right now.

Kyle wonders if the two Lisas are going to be okay eventually. Erika says everything can be worked out if everybody wants to work it out. I guess that’s pretty much true for any conflict. Kyle says she never wants to hear bi-polar, manipulative, Munchhausen, own it, or sniper again. I agree, especially Munchhausen.

Dorit is getting her makeup done, while PK’s assistant discusses their schedule. Dorit wants to make sure there’s time for the kids. Boy George comes in. She says in their house he’s more like Uncle George, but diva does come out occasionally. They’re getting ready to do Jimmy Kimmel‘s show.

Erika is having a Studio 54 party for her birthday. Disco balls are everywhere, and there’s going to be a velvet rope with Pussy Control manning the door. We flash back to LisaV’s Poison Arrow video. Lisa says the end of the 80’s marked the end of her single life. In her interview, LisaR talks about Iman being at Studio 54, and everyone goes down 80’s Memory Lane.

LisaV and Kyle meet for a kiki at Dorit’s house. Giggy! Kyle talks about hanging out with Andy Warhol and Rick James as a kid, because her mother didn’t follow the rules.

I want to have a fabulous 80’s party just like this one, but I don’t think Tom will fund the bill for me. Erika gets crazy over everyone’s outfits. She opens her gift from Eileen. It’s a part on Eileen’s show, The Young and the Restless. Coolest. Present. Ever. Erika is worried that they’ll fire Eileen if she sucks. They talk about the soaps.

LisaV introduces Dorit. Lisa asks Tom if he’s wearing something Studio 54 under his suit. I gotta say, Tom seems like a really nice guy, and he and Erika are obviously in love. Eileen and LisaR discuss LisaV. LisaR says she’d rather be better than bitter. Yeah, we’ll see. Dorit says she considers herself a New Yorker, but she’s lived all over the place. In her interview, she says Beverly Hills is a little too much carrot juice and Botox. Agreed. She invites Erika to her upcoming birthday party.

The two Lisas meet, and the conversation is stilted. In her interview, LisaV says that LisaR changed the dynamic of their relationship, and they’d have to do a lot of work to get it back to where it was. Eileen says anything is possible. Look what happened after the Viet Nam war, everyone goes there for vacation now.

The guests mingle and dance. Mauricio talks to Tom about the plane he just bought. Tom brings out another present for Erika – her mother. Erika introduces her mom around. In her interview, Erika talks about her mother having her at 18, and her father leaving before she was one-year-old.

Eileen thinks LisaV is giving her the cold shoulder. Dorit invites Eileen and her husband to her party. Dorit is trying to figure out how Eileen is the same woman that Lisa has talked about. Everyone is starving and glad to see the cake come out. It’s cute, layered stars. LisaV says she thinks she saw a deviled egg and should have grabbed it. Erika is thrilled with the evening.

The girls dance. LisaV says that Eileen and LisaR would be happier if she wasn’t in their friend circle, but she’s coming back, stronger than ever.

Next time, Erika hires dancers, LisaV gets a horse, and Dorit’s birthday party happens.

Ladies of London honorable mention. Marissa had the smallest baby ever, but all is well. Caroline #1 seems to be at odds with everyone. I think she has too much time on her hands since Gift Library closed. She needs a job or something else to occupy her. Julie is overwhelmed with running the Mapperton estate. The place is like a small village, and I don’t envy her dealing with the gift shop employees who have worked there since the earth cooled, and are less than helpful. And Caroline #2’s father is very sick with cancer. Since she’s a huge celebrity in Denmark, the press is very interested in her, and while on a trip there with Juliet, she makes the mistake of telling them about his illness when the family is quite private. We also see her OCDness in regard to beds being made correctly.

December 5, 2016 – Santa Visits GH, Schwartz Visits His Future & a Couple of TV Notes

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna is on the phone discussing Valentin with Robert. Laura meets her at Kelly’s. Anna wonders if Laura can answer some questions.

Nina tells Valentin that just because she enjoys something, doesn’t mean it’s good for her. She loves ice cream, but she can’t have it every day. Switching topics, she asks where his adorable daughter is.

Nurse Amy 2.0 talks to Rocco about a possible brother or sister, and as usual, oversteps her bounds.

Sam tells Jason that someone tried to kill Julian twice. Jason says there isn’t any proof that the two things are related. He points out the differences, saying the hit and run was sloppy whereas the bomb was carefully planned.

Alexis visits Julian in the hospital. He wonders what took her so long. She says she was talking to the police.

Michael suggests that Nell keep watch on him to see his “tells.” These are apparently behavioral clues as to what move someone is going to make. He says if she gets that information, when they have a Backgammon rematch, she can win. She’s hesitant to go with him to the gala because of Carly.

Ava tells Carly she doesn’t get a say with Avery since she’s not her child. Carly says she has a low tolerance right now, and Ava best leave before there’s hair-pulling. Sonny is kind of into that, but says Avery is staying with him. Ava asks if Carly is standing by Sonny even though he planted the bomb that killed her son. She says maybe if Carly had been more on the ball with Morgan, he would still be alive. Sonny tells her to back off. Carly says Ava claimed that she loved Morgan, but she’s using him as leverage the way she uses her own children. She says Ava is going after Sonny where she thinks he’s vulnerable. Ava calls them a tag team and asks if they’re back together.

Michael tells Nell that he could ask Carly first, but she’ll stick her nose in everything, right on down to Nell’s shoes. Nell says she’ll go with him.

Jason doesn’t think the two attempts on Julian’s life relate. Sam asks if he thinks it’s a random hit and run, but he says not necessarily. Curtis finally shows up. He says he paid Julian a visit, offering to resume his services, but Julian declined. He says it confirms a theory he had – Julian doesn’t want anyone to know who planted the bomb.

Alexis tells Julian that she heard he was struck buy a hit and run driver, and it might have been on purpose. She says the police are trying to find out. She asks if he’s remembered anything yet.

Anna tells Laura that Valentin’s records are practically non-existent, so if she can recall anything, it would be helpful. Laura says he turned up in Greece saying he was Mikkos’s bastard son and had been denied everything .She says it was mentioned that he was the Cassadine all other Cassadines feared. She tells Anna about the Halloween incident, and how he came dressed in costume, leading them to believe he was Doc, and when he revealed himself, said he was there to claim the estate. Anna says he puts on a show as a perfect gentleman, but then kicks her out. Laura says quite the opposite, he offered to let her stay there, but she said no. Anna asks how he took the rejection. Laura tells her that Valentin hides behind his good manners, but she knows he has secrets, and thinks one of them is about her family.

Amy toddles off, and Lulu says that was awkward. Santa has finally arrived and Nina takes him aside for discussion. Valentin approaches Lulu and Dante. He introduces himself to Rocco, and Lulu tells him not to speak to her son. He says as she wishes, and she suggests he go back to Greece and turn himself in. Dante tells him to stay away from his family, but Valentn says that won’t be possible.

Curtis tells Jason and Sam that he knew Julian fired him too abruptly, right after he asked about Oscar Jessup. He says Julian is definitely hiding something, and Oscar is a front. He says you’d think he’d want someone to investigate, but he wasn’t interested and got testy about it. Sam says they don’t think the two incidents are related, and Curtis says he doesn’t either. It’s obvious that Julian doesn’t want it investigated.

Julian acts like he doesn’ remember anything. Alexis asks about a prognosis. He tells her blah-blah-blah, and she asks if he’ll recover. He says eventually. He says he could have died in the parking lot except for a good Samaritan who called 911. They saved his life and he wishes he could thank them. Alexis tells him pay it forward and try not to kill anyone else. He says why not just say the words, and thanks her for calling 911 after she ran him down.

Sonny tells Ava that his and Carly’s relationship is none of her business. She says Avery is her business. Sonny says Avery is staying with him. Ava says he confessed, but Carly says it was just a father’s grief, and he committed no crime. She says if Sonny can’t care for Avery, she’ll stay with her, and Ava says she’ll have her in court. Carly threatens her with the Paul Hornsby video, and Ava says having sex isn’t a crime. Carly says, but murder is.

Laura tells Anna that when Valentin showed up to take possession of Windemere, he looked at her when he was leaving. He said they’d always be connected by their families, and it felt like a threat.

Valentin tells Dante that they live in the same town, and asks if Dante is going to arrest him for smiling and saying hello. He says not to harass him, and Dante says he’ll take his chances. Nina comes to get Rocco for the Santa line. She asks Valentin where Charlotte is and Valentin goes to get her.

Curtis wonders why Julian would protect the person who tried to kill him. Sam steps away to take a call. Curtis tells Jason about Julian getting a phone call and being amped up like he’d had bad news. He says maybe someone is out to get Julian for something in the past, and if whoever planted the bomb is exposed, so is Julian’s past transgression, and he’s covering for them. Sam returns saying Spinelli called. She says he sent her something and hands Jason her phone.

Julian says he lied. Alexis sarcastically says that’s shocking. He says he remembered everything and goes through the events of the evening, while we see mini flash backs. Alexis says it was an accident, and Julian says it was a DWI.

Michael explains everything about the gala to Nell. She asks about the dress code, and he tells her festive attire. She asks if a cocktail dress is okay, since she can’t afford a ballgown. He says he can fix that. That’s nice and all, but why would “festive attire” be confined to a ballgown?

Carly suggests Ava knew about Paul’s murder spree, and he fixed Julian’s trial. She says if the sex tape comes up, the police might investigate and she could be considered an accomplice. Carly says it’s better for everyone if they keep the custody agreement they already have. Ava asks how she can risk something happening like what happened with Morgan. Carly says that Sonny is a good father, and Avery belongs with him. Sonny says he’s going to be more generous with Ava than she’s been with him. He’s going to forget about what she said regarding Morgan, and she can pick up Avery on her regular day. Ava tells them that they deserve each other, and leaves . Sonny thanks Carly.

Valentin tells Charlotte that they’re going to meet someone very important. BTW, Nina looks fabulous as usual, in a dress with a black crochet overlay and ruffled bottom. She tells Santa that she knows Valentin isn’t his favorite person, but Charlotte is special. Doc says he’ll suck it up for the kid.

Spinelli has sent a parking permit for the van that was blocking the mini-mart cameras. Jason says it’s a monthly permit for October. Curtis thinks it might turn up something useful. Sam has to go to her doctor’s appointment, so Curtis and Jason go to investigate.

Alexis repeats that it was an accident. Julian says the bartender might not see it that way. She says he wasn’t there, and her memory differs from his. Julian says what if he had died or she hit someone else; what would her daughters think? Alexis says they want her to kill him. He calls her a drunk (ouch), and says she’s in serious trouble. She says the police won’t find anything. It will be her word against his, and who do you think they’ll believe? He says she might be able to get off not being prosecuted, but the Bar Association has a lower standard of proof.

Carly tells Sonny that Avery belongs with him. She says she knows he was trying to honor Morgan, but his confession wasn’t a good idea, and it doesn’t honor Morgan to wallow in the loss. She says “we” have to do better for him. She tells Sonny that they’ll always be in each other’s lives, but she doesn’t know what it means. It will take everything she’s got to get through Christmas, but they have to for the kids. She says she left some presents for Josslyn in the bedroom and wants to send them to Australia, since it’s Jax’s turn to have Josslyn for the holiday. She and Michael have decided to do a celebration early with her. Um…then why send the presents to Australia? She tells sonny that the presents are under the bed, and he offers to get them.

Michael suggests that he and Nell hit Maxie up for a ballgown. Nell says she’ll worry about spilling something or someone stepping on it. He tells her that if she changes her mind, Maxie has everything. Nell says she’ll stick to her own stuff and suddenly realizes her necklace is gone.

Sonny looks under the bed. He finds the presents. And Nell’s necklace.

Laura gets to the hospital too late to see Rocco with Santa, but Lulu says they took a lot of pictures. She says it took Santa a while to go through Rocco’s scroll list, and that it’s probably best that Laura avoided Valentin.

Back on the phone, Anna asks Robert if there were any casualties, and then says to send her everything he’s got.

Alexis says it’s Julian’s fault that she lost her license in the first place. She broke the rules for him because he believe that he loved her. He says he does, and tells her that she’s trying to sell herself as a good lawyer. She says she is, and he calls her a drunk again. Double ouch. She says she’s good at what she does, and it’s all she has. She asks if he’s going to turn her in now.

Curtis and Jason find the truck in the parking garage. It’s locked. Jason asks Curtis if he wants to turn his back while he breaks in or help.

Nell is freaking over her necklace. She tells Michael it’s not valuable, but it means something to her. He asks when she remembers wearing it last, and she flashes back. She says she thinks she knows where she left it.

Carly is at the bedroom door. She asks Sonny if he found the gifts. He has the necklace scrunched in his hand. Here’s what you do, Sonny. Don’t let her see the necklace and put it in your pocket. When she asks what’s that? tell her that it’s a Christmas gift for her and then have Max buy something.

Sam goes to her appointment at the hospital, since apparently there is no private practice in Port Charles. She asks Amy II what room Julian is in.

Curtis and Jason find the parking permit, along with empty cans, chip bags, candy wrappers, and a bad smell. Curtis says it’s nasty. That’s what I say about my husband’s work van. There’s nothing in the back, but when he closes the sliding door,  Jason notices that something is behind the truck logo and starts to peel it off.

Julian tells Alexis to relax. It will be their secret. Provided she does someting for him in return. Like we didn’t expect that.

Anna tells Robert that she doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that the place burned to the ground. She thanks Robert, saying she’s finally getting somewhere. She looks at an article on her laptop about a fire at Bedlington, and says, “Valentin, what did you do?”

Nina tells Charlotte that Santa wants to know what she wants for Christmas.

Laura tells Dante and Lulu that Anna is working hard to get something against Valentin. She tells Rocco she wants to see what Santa gave him, but he can’t find it. Lulu heads toward Santa.

Val tells Nina that he’s explained about Santa to Charlotte (don’t they have Santa in France or wherever she lived?) He says he’s told Charlotte that Santa can bring her anything except a purple unicorn. A pony isn’t out of the question though. Santa asks if Charlotte wants a pony, but she says the only thing she wants is a momma. Aww!

Lulu stares at Charlotte on Santa’s lap with a mixture of surprise, love and expectation. I believe we’re to assume she thinks Charlotte is her lost daughter.

Tomorrow, Michael asks Carly for a favor, Sam asks why Alexis is with Julian, and Curtis and Jason shake down the van driver.

Vanderpump Rules

Here’s where I ponder for an entire hour how anyone in their right mind could be interested in James.

Schwartz and Katie are going to the wedding venue in Lake Tahoe. Katie is expecting the blue sky wedding of her dreams. She expects a lot. It’s a really cute place, out in the woodsy country with an old grist mill. Schwartz says Katie wants a Lisa Vanderpump wedding on a Tom and Katie budget. Apparently, his input is unwanted though. Why would this be a surprise? It’s a given that all the groom needs to do is show up.

Katie says they’re already in the woods, so she doesn’t want it overly rustic. Woodsy elegance is the theme. The planner asks about how they met, and Schwartz says he thinks they just got drunk and had sex. He asks what the damage is so far. 24K. Way past the 10-15K he was thinking. Hahahahahahaha! That Schwartz is so clueless.

Ariana and Tom go to the gym. Tom tells us that you have to keep your beach body on stand-by in LA. James is there, and Tom asks if he’s in trouble. James tells them he got fired from SUR and PUMP. Tom asks about Raquel, and James says she knows all about it. In his interview, he claims Jax and GG made up a rumor about him getting together with GG.

Lala asks to talk to Lisa. They step outside. Lala says she spoke to Katie about the rumors, and her boyfriend isn’t married. Lisa thinks she’s turning red, and Lisa is right. The more Lala protests – even though Lisa isn’t the one accusing her of anything – the pinker she gets. Lisa says it’s not her business, but something seems off. In her interview, Lala claims she was blushing because she respects Lisa. She wishes Lisa would trust her more. She’s like an alcoholic who is three sheets to the wind, but insists that they haven’t been drinking.

Tom goes to an underwear model job. He puts some socks where his junk is. Then he shoves a peach in there. Tom wonders if he’s not “showing well.” He’d like to be more choosy about his jobs, but needs wedding money. I’m glad I’m not a male underwear model.

SUR is busy, and Jax is over an hour late. Lisa tells manager Brooke to write him up when she sees him. He strolls in, saying he got locked out. In her interview, Lisa says the last time, he was locked up. She tells him to apologize to the other employees and not to be cheeky. She tells them to hit him where it hurts and not give him his share of the tip. Ugh! I hate shared tips. It just seems so unfair, although I do give this group credit for working hard. When they’re not in a closet crying or something.

Tom and Ariana bike to a restaurant for date night. The valet parks their bike, which is actually kind of cute. Tom wonders how Schwartz and Katie are doing. They discuss Schwartz’s fear of Katie’s anger, and Ariana says it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. She’s glad that she and Tom agree on the important stuff. Ariana is willing to get a house with Tom, but not get married, and Tom thinks a 30-year fixed mortgage is more of a commitment than marriage. He’s probably right. Ariana says Tom has been in the same apartment for years, and it’s getting old. She’s okay with the house thing, but never wants to get married, which she views as surrendering to some societal thing. Tom says married or not, she’s the one for him.

Lala goes on a hike with friends Tiffany and Ellie. She says they’re like her sisters. She tells them she hasn’t done anything to anyone, but the girls have been attacking her about her relationship. They all agree on what they would do for a Range Rover. Ellie tells Lala about James getting fired for being drunk all the time. Lala says he was her one friend at work, and now work is going to be tougher. She tells them about GG and James screaming at each other. Ellie tells them that she hooked up with James a month ago and he denies it. Lala says James and his girlfriend just celebrated six months together, but Ellie brings up a picture on her phone. She kept it because James had told her that hooking up with her was meaningless and he had a girlfriend. She sends the picture to Lala.

Some of the gang get together for drinks. Schwartz says the wedding is starting to remind him of the bus from Speed. Tom asks Jax what happened between him and James. Jax says James’s stepping out with GG has given him something to poke James with. Tom says he feels badly for James letting Jax get to him. Tom tells them that James got fired. Jax is thrilled and now believes there’s a God Who loves us. He wants to celebrate. I don’t know why, but it never ceases to surprise me how immature most of the cast members are, and how much further along my friends and I were at their age. Tom says James literally has nothing, and Jax says he deserves it. In his interview, Jax makes fun of James DJing at Applebee’s.

Jax immediately relays the information to the rest of the group. He’s annoyed that Tom and Ariana criticized him for provoking James. Kristen, Ariana and Scheana discuss Kristen’s new veneers. Kristen gloats about James. Ariana brings up all the guys that Kristen has punched in the face. Kristen says she’ll assault James hardcore if he shows up at the wedding. Ooh, thug life.

Peter brings in a box of new shirts for the SUR guys. Scheana is jonesing for new dresses. She thinks they should wear the shirts instead. She puts one on and it does look cute as a dress. Ariana tells Scheana about Ellie showing the James photo around. Scheana says she thought Ellie had higher standards and James is a new low.

Commercial break. Oddly enough it’s for a Range Rover. I could think of a million different jokes.

Scheana meets Ellie for coffee. Ellie had thought James was joking when he said he was dating someone, and she says we’re all allowed to make mistakes. She talks about him telling her afterwards that it didn’t mean anything and she decided to take a picture in case she needed it. Okay… Scheana says she can understand wanting back-up in case James calls her a liar. I swear, I wouldn’t even date if I was single right now.

Scheana asks if she’s met Lala’s married boyfriend. Ellie acts shady, so Scheana thinks that’s a yes. Scheana says Lala is dishonest and can’t be trusted. She thinks it’s f-ed up and isn’t’ going to end well. Probably.

Katie has to check out Porsches for Lisa. Every year Lisa gets a new summer car, and wants Katie to send her pictures since she’s too busy to go herself. I’m not much of a car person, but I do like a Porsche. They’re about 175K or four grand a month. Katie and Schwartz take one for a test spin. Tom suggests they get a Porsche instead of having the wedding, but Katie says it’s non-negotiable. She thinks Schwartz is being mean, and he says he’s just joking. For what my two cents is worth, I think he’s often insensitive, but she seems to have no sense of humor. She makes a way bigger deal of it than it is. In his interview, Schwartz says she keeps saying she’s going to change, but it’s not happening. He tells her she’s lost control of her emotions, and she says he’s being insensitive. She accuses him of his d*ck not working right, and he says it works fine. How did we get here???

Stassi tells Kristen that Scheana is on her way with good gossip. Kristen misses having Stassi as a roommate, and lures her over with food and alcohol. Works for me. Scheana immediately tells them about James and Ellie dating. In her interview, Kristen says she upgraded, while James keeps going down the totem pole. Scheana tells them about the photo. She moves on to Ellie confirming that Lala has a married boyfriend, which wasn’t really a confirmation, so she embellishes. Stassi says they’ve gotten the information from several independent sources who don’t know one another. Stassi tells them that there’s also a sex tape out there, and in her interview, she does a PSA, telling women to stop taping themselves. Kristen calls Lala skank trash. Honestly, you’d think they were all hillbillies. Come to think of it, The Beverly Hillbillies didn’t act like this.

Lisa takes Katie shopping for restaurant plants. They’re going to hang succulents in little glass planters and I adore this idea. Lisa says they get stuff from the flower market once a week. Katie tells Lisa about Schwartz not hearing her, and getting defensive when it’s unnecessary. Lisa tells her to choose her battles. In her interview, Lisa sees problems up ahead. They get a bunch of gorgeous potted floral plants.

Lala visits James bearing champagne. She asks about him getting fired. She asks if it had anyting to do with GG, but he says no. He says there’s only so much cake to go around. Bleh. She asks if he has something to tell her about Ellie. He’s like, what? Lala says she has a picture of them together in bed in March. He denies it, and she shows him. He says he has nothing to worry about – that was so last year – and claims she photoshopped it. Lala tells him to quit raising his voice and says that’s how he ruins friendships. He says she ruins friendships too. Lala tells him that she’s heard a lot about him, and he says he’s heard she’s dating a married man. She says her boyfriend isn’t married. He asks why she’s being secretive, and he says she hasn’t told one person. He’s vague about wanting to be there for her.

Next time, the new dresses come in, Ariana tells Tom to quit stealing her thunder, and Orlando protests and sadness.

🔊 Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce starts Wednesday,  January 11 at 10 pm. I like Odd Mom Out better, but this show is good too.

❄ ☕Timber Creek Lodge is also back on Bravo (following Vanderpump Rules). The show has been rebooted and the previous cast just booted. Hopefully, this time they’ll take a page from Below Deck‘s book and learn how to actually give guests the five-star treatment. First up is a bachelor party.

December 2, 2016 – Sonny’s Dream Comes True, Murphy is Roberta’s Nightmare & Collectible Quotes

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason and Sam are meeting Curtis. He’s late, and Sam asks if Jason still trusts him. Jason says he never did.

Curtis eavesdrops on Ava’s visit to Julian in the hospital. I’m wondering why Julian doesn’t have a guard. Sonny would have one. Ava asks if there’s been any progress tracking down the driver. Julian tells her no, and he doesn’t think there ever will be.

Alexis gets a text from Julian asking her to stop avoiding him. She flashes back to the accident. OMG – she just hung her purse on the back of the chair at Kelly’s. You should never do that. It’s a huge invitation to a purse snatcher. And Lord knows, Port Charles is rife with criminals. She puts a nip of liquor into her coffee. Anna is suddenly there, and says she hopes there’s more where that came from; she could use some. It’s cold in Port Charles today.

Nell listens to the recording of Sonny on her phone with earbuds. Michael asks if she’s listening to something good.

Carly wakes up Sonny, who’s sleeping on the couch. She says she woke up and reached for him, but he wasn’t there. She didn’t like the feeling of life without him. She says they have a lot to work on, but have to work on it together. She wants him beside her now and forever. He says he loves her and they kiss. As their lips part, he sees Nell’s face, and she says she loves him too. He wakes up. Carly is there. For real. I think.

Nina tells the kids at the hospital that Santa is on his way. She plugs Toys for Tots. Valentin comes in and asks if he can help with anything.

Alexis asks Anna why she wanted to meet. Anna says she heard about Alexis’s case being reviewed. Having returned to the WSB, she has some pull with the bar, and could use her influence to get Alexis’s license restored. Alexis asks what the catch is.

Ava complains to Julian about the inept police department. She says he has to do something about Sonny – it’s the second attempt on is life. She says he’s vulnerable right now, and she wouldn’t miss the opportunity. He asks what she has in mind.

Nell acts like she was listening to music. She asks Michael what’s up, and he says he’s going Christmas shopping and asks if she can help him. He wants to brainstorm some gift ideas for Carly. He thanks her for helping on Thanksgiving, and asks if she cheered her friend up. Not really, but her “friend” doesn’t know that.

Sonny tells Carly he was having a nightmare, and she asks if he remembers what it was about. He says every time he sleeps on the couch, he can’t get his mind to shut off. He tells her that it was a long day, and she says not as long as Julian’s.

Laura and Doc bask in the afterglow. So that’s where Santa is. He asks if she has any regrets, but she has none. Not counting opening her coat and finding Santa staring at her. She says that she realizes that she’s been making excuses and she loves being with him. She says her life is better with him in it, and he says the feeling is mutual.

Jason tells Sam that it’s safe to assume Curtis is sympathetic to law enforcement, so he doesn’t really trust him, but his favorite PI, meaning her, is out of commission. Sam wonders if Curtis has loyalty to Julian, but Jason thinks it’s just the opposite. He has unanswered questions, and maybe a grudge. And they’re running out of time to prove Sonny’s innocence.

Sonny tells Carly it’s a shame Julian wasn’t finished off. He says go ahead and ask if it was him.

Dante and Lulu are still all romantic when they arrive at the hospital. Lulu tells Dante about how Tracy ended up babysitting, but doesn’t have the details.

Valentin has brought toy donations. He talks with Nina about Toys for Tots. I always love how every year they try to make these conversations sound natural. Valentin says that Nina has a soft spot for children, and she says maybe a little.

Doc suggests breakfast in bed to Laura. He likes to cook, but says it’s no fun doing it for one person. She suggests they cook breakfast for each other. He asks if she’s up for the challenge of eggs Florentine. She asks when he’s supposed to be at the hospital, and he says right now. Oops.

Nell gives Michael gift suggestions. He says she really knows Carly, but there’s one more thing he needs to ask before he goes. He tells her there’s a Toys for Tots gala happening, and asks if she’d like to go with him.

Carly doesn’t think for one second that Sonny did it, but says the police probably do. He’s surprised they haven’t questioned him, and she says they know he’s not going anywhere. She says when they first lost Morgan, the only way to deal with it was anger, and she lashed out at everyone, especially him. She says the grief is still there, but the anger has faded and she’s seeing things more clearly.She knows he’s not responsible for Morgan’s death, and it makes the grief more bearable. Sonny says it matters a lot. If she doesn’t believe in anything else, believe he wants to change for her.

Anna asks Alexis how much she knows about Valentin. Alexis says he’s proved he’s the heir and owns everything Cassadine. They talk about Charlotte. Anna says Claudette has disappeared, and Valentin came forth with proof he’s her father. She says Griff lost in court because it’s impossible to prove any of Valentin’s crimes. She needs a place to start looking. Anna says she knows Alexis has been in contact with the Greek authorities, and if Alexis could help, she would be grateful. Alexis says she knows Valentin is evil.

Ava goes on to Julian about Sonny. Curtis’s phone rings, so he steps away. Julian tells Ava that when the time is right, he’ll deal with it as he sees fit. He suggests she not provoke Sonny. He asks what if Sonny gets off, and she says he’s making it sound like Sonny has been wrongly accused. She tells him the trouble is going to be all Sonny’s and leaves.

Jason tells Sam that the new DA will want to make a name for herself and is interested in making a case, so she’ll want an early trial date. Sam says Diane will push it back. Jason says even though Sonny was previously pardoned by a judge, they can still bring up his past.

Carly asks Sonny if Jason has made any progress. Sonny says not yet, but he will. He’s hoping there will be enough evidence that the charges get dropped. He says he’s not doing anything stupid; he doesn’t want to throw away the good he has left. Carly says she believes him and they’ve had too much loss not to be honest. Sonny thinks back to Nell in the bed. He asks if Carly wants coffee, and she says he doesn’t have to change the subject. She can tell something is eating him up inside and asks what it is. Oh brother.

At the hospital, Lulu wonders why Valentin is hanging around Nina. She freaks when she realizes they’re together. Nina tells Valentin she has to get back to work. He asks if he’s done something to offend her, and she says if Anna has her way, he will.

Anna tells Alexis that any detail could open up a line of inquiry. Alexis tells her about establishing Valentin’s lineage, and that he resided in the UK. Anna asks about his time there. Alexis says she doesn’t know much except that he went to boarding school when he was five. She says when she asked about his mother, he told her to keep her focus on the Cassadines. She tells Anna not to say anything to the bar. She wants her license back on her own merit.

Curtis enters Julian’s room. He says Julian needs him. He needs to find out who’s after him before his luck runs out. The third time’s the charm and it’s already been twice.

Sonny tells Carly that he has too much time to think and be alone. He knows he shouldn’t be playing coulda, shoulda, woulda, but he does it all the time. Carly says she does it too. She says you have to stop and think about the future and the people who love and need you. She tells him to think about Avery. Sonny’s phone rings. An old fashioned landline phone with a twirly cord. He says to send her up and tells Carly to guess who’s here. It’s Ava. He asks what she wants and she says they have to talk. She hopes they can keep it civilized. She sees Carly and wants to speak privately, but Sonny says she can talk in front of Carly. Ava says no secrets between the two of them, eh?

Valentin asks Nina if Anna has been talking to her. She says more like an interrogation. He asks if Anna said to stay away from him, and she says more or less. Valentin was hoping Anna would back off after Charlotte’s custody hearing. Nina thinks it might have something to do with what happened in Greece, but she chooses to believe his version. She says he’s far from innocent, but he’s a good father and it carries a lot of weight with her. He whispers something naughty in her ear.

Dante tells Lulu that eventually Valentin will make a mistake and they’ll catch him then.

Alexis tells Anna to nail Valentin to the wall. She wants him to pay for Nicholas’s death. Anna says she’ll do what she can, and steps away to make a call. She says she has the name of Valentin’s childhood school and it’s a starting point.

Alexis sees Sam and Jason outside. She apologizes for ditching them on Thanksgiving. She gets another text from Julian and says she has to go. Sam asks if she knows Julian was hit by a car. Alexis asks if there are any suspects. Sam says the police are looking at Sonny, and Jason adds that they don’t think it’s him

Julian says maybe it was an accident. Curtis asks what he remembers, and Julian says he remembers firing Curtis. He’s not giving him one more cent. He says if he keeps investigating, he’s going to regret it.

Michael and Nell talk about business. She says he’s cool and icy, and it’s the opposite of the warmth he has with his family. He says she’s been so good to them, he wants to treat her to something fun.

Ava tells Sonny that they need to revisit the custody agreement. Sonny says the agreement is that it’s on his terms. She says he doesn’t have a leg to stand on, and one of them has a monitor. I think Scotty is rubbing off on her. Sonny says he’s Avery’s father, and Ava says he can’t even go out his front door. He says she can go to the park or wherever with her brother or sisters, and the charges could be dropped next week. Ava says not only did he kill Morgan, he tried to run Julian over, so why not spare Avery more turmoil and chaos? There’s no reason that Avery shouldn’t be with her mother. Carly says she’s the reason.

On Monday, Curtis thinks Julian is hiding something, Anna talks to Laura, and Carly threatens to kick Ava’s ass.

Z Nation

Addie continues to follow The Man and Lucy, and a zombie pops out at us like one of those things on YouTube. A ball of zombies tumbles past. Ha-ha-ha! Lots of hijinks already. Addie stops for gas at a station overrun with zombies. She dispatches them with her nifty new weapon. She thinks she sees Lucy in the back of a car, but it’s a doll.

Kaya says Spokane is totally powered up. She tells Citizen Z that The Man is still headed for the coast with Lucy. No word about Operation Bite Mark though. Citizen Z is bumping along in a tiny plane that Uncle is piloting. He tells Kaya to keep and eye out for Roberta. He asks Uncle if everything is okay, and Uncle tells him they’re carrying too much weight. Citizen Z says Uncle thinks he’s funny, but he’s not.

Roberta and company spy on Murphytown. She feels badly for the Blends, who live in some kind of limbo. She says Murphy has the numbers. Sun asks how she plans on limiting collateral damage. Kyle says the whole world is collateral damage. Roberta says they made their choice, and she can’t let them stand in the way of saving humanity. She’s come too far and killed too many to give up now.

10K is shooting zombies and sees Roberta. He runs down an alley. She waits at the other end and knocks him out as he runs past.

Kaya sees Roberta on the screen. She radios Citizen Z, telling him OBM has landed. She says Roberta looks like she’s traveling with some rough customers, and tells him that Addie isn’t with them before he asks. Neither is Doc. Citizen Z says they’re going into strong headwinds, but don’t worry. He looks pretty worried though.

Roberta makes a plan with Kyle and Sun. She gives Kyle instructions He says they’re professionals and suggests a grisly distraction. Roberta wonders what to do with 10K. She says she can see the Murphy in his eyes. She asks if Murphy sent him to kill her. Sun keeps her from getting physical with 10K, saying he could be useful knowing about Merch’s work. He doesn’t want to talk to her, and Roberta tells him it’s for his own good and punches him. She pulls a paper out of his pocket and hands it to Sun to read. It’s the paper he was looking at in the previous episode. It says: Find Warren, bring her to me. If she won’t come, kill her. Roberta tells Sun to give him a booster. Sun hesitates, wanting a baseline first, since he’s had so many drugs pumped into him. Robert says she’s do it herself. A bloody severed hand drops down from above. Murphy says hello to Roberta.

Murphy tells Roberta that it’s the new new him and if she likes it. He looks like a cross between my Uncle Al and a KISS band member. He tells them no sudden moves, but one of the men aims at him anyway and is shot down. Roberta asks if he’s dying, and he says he’s becoming. She asks if he’s becoming Moses or Billy Idol, and he tells her he’s becoming his destiny. He asks where she gets off judging him, and says at least 10K has the good grace to count his kill. He points out that she’s brought along the Red Hand. He tells Kyle that if he wants to stop being a murdering nihilist, to take the cure. Kyle says he’ll stick to his nihilist ways. Murphy wonders where Hector is, and answers his own question – dead.

Murphy suggests that Roberta take the cure, but she says no way. He tells her that their lives as they know them are over, but they can be reborn. Roberta says he’s insane. He says they were all wrong, and look at what he’s built. He says it’s over for the human race and they all know it. He knows how she thinks and tells her don’t do this. He wants and needs her on his side. She says she has a species to think of. His species. He says not any more, not for a long time.

Roberta tells him Sun needs his blood for a vaccine. He says he doesn’t trust humans anymore, and wants to let nature take its course. He helps 10K up and tells Roberta her friends are rubbing off on her. He leads 10K away, telling him he did good in reaching out.

Sun tells Roberta maybe they can still reason with Murphy. Roberta says she doesn’t know him. Sun says this is about revenge, not the mission. Roberta says nothing else matters except getting Murphy’s blood for the vaccine. Sun says give her a lab and she’ll do her part

The zombies are eating someone who fell into the moat. Murphy asks what he did, and looks up to see a huge sign hanging from the building, saying Be Afraid. Murphy says he knew the day would come, and it’s here, but they won’t be afraid.

Kaya plays with streetlights, trying to get Roberta’s attention. Sun asks Roberta how they’re going to cut the power to the fence. She and Sun go down an alley. One of Murphy’s minions is checking the bridge security and Kyle and his men take her down.

In Murphytown, tons of people are still getting inoculated. Murphy’s head guy tells im that they’re almost out of vaccine, and Murphy gives him a new batch. He says it’s wonderful how so many are joining him.

Citizen Z is trying to talk to Kaya, but he’s not coming in clearly.

Roberta sees that Kaya is signaling them in Morse code on the streetlight. Sun translates. Operation Bite Mark, Frenchy. It’s the fast food clown. Kaya explains who she is and says she has a message from Citizen Z, but the screen goes blank before they can copy. Roberta isn’t sure, but she thinks Kaya said they found Lucy. She tells Sun that they need to finish what they came to do.

Murphy says Warren! the way Seinfeld says Newman!

Murphy tells his clan that living without fear is within reach, but some find comfort in chaos and terror. He says they knew the day would come when they’d have to defend their way of life. He tells them be careful out there a la Hill Street Blues. He tells 10K to get the power restored. He’s ready to dance with Roberta.

10K and a technician head for the power supply, but get shot at. The tech thinks they should try to reason with them. He walks out, raising his hands over his head, explaining that he’s the one who restores the electricity. He gets shot for his trouble, and 10K ends up getting shot in the arm. Then a zombie grabs him with a small crowd of them on the way. What do you know there’s Red and 5K with a slingshot. Red leads 10K away.

Even though he can’t hear her, Kaya tells Citizen Z something is going down in Murphytown and the power is down. She says she forgives him for being recklessly brave, and that he’s her hero. She says don’t forget to be careful and come back to her.

The woman from the bridge is covered with blood and approaches Murphytown. The guys run out to get her, but she struggles against them. She screams for Murphy to help her. Kyle pops out of a trailer and we realize she’s attached to it. She tells them not to let go and yells for help. Kyle says it’s time to die and they let her go. She scoots back to the trailer and there’s a shootout between Kyle’s men and Murphy’s. Murphy watches and makes a hand gesture. Not that kind of gesture. He’s controlling them.

Sun and Roberta continue on. The get inside and go upstairs to the lab. Roberta tells Sun to get what she needs while she finds Murphy. Roberta looks around and hears what’s going on outside. She sees the gunfight. A woman tells her she can’t be in there, and then recognizes her. Roberta shoots her. She says “Murphy loved you,” and drops to the ground. Roberta says she has something for him.

10K tells Red she looks good for an hallucination. He hears Murphy and says he has to go.

Murphy makes another hand gesture and the zombies in the moat break the gate down. They’re cut off at the ankles by a wire which is pretty cool. Unfortunately both the bridge woman and Kyle are casualties. A zombie free-for-all ensues.

Roberta comes up behind Murphy and says knock knock. He says her lost boys are bleeding out. She says they knew what they were in for and served their purpose. He tells her that she’s turning into an ends justifies the means gal. She says she has a mission and he says that’s getting old. He says he saved the world, and she tells him that he’s taking the zombie messiah thing to heart. He says he’s brought peace and that’s what a savior does.

Roberta wants his blood. He says she’s on a fool’s errand. She tells him that there are still survivors. He says they come to him every day, begging to be released from fear. He says she needs a bite mark to make her see things more clearly. She holds up a brain and Murphy gets all longing and shaky.

10K catches Sun in the lab. She says she can help him and the rest of them. He says they don’t need help, they need Murphy. She says she has to test the vaccine and asks if he can help find the notes she needs. Red and 5K run in, and 10K says don’t worry, they’re not real. He tells Sun that he can’t help, but Red tells him to let her do what she needs. He says Red isn’t real, but Red says she’ll prove it and kisses him. I can’t help but think of how he must smell. And when was the last time he brushed his teeth? 10K is all happy and hugs 5K. He tells Sun where the research is. The password is password and she opens the vault.

Some guys come in and tell Sun to put the book down.

Murphy asks Roberta where she got that and she teases him with a piece. He grabs it and eats it. She knocks him down, asking him if he’s saving the people or are they his food supply? He says she doesn’t understand. They wrestle, and Roberta kicks him in the cojones. Roberta tells him that he’s reborn this very moment, because she’s decided not to kill him. His cronies come in. The little girl runs to him, and Murphy asks who the monster is now. He asks if reality is setting in. He’s never seen a look of resignation on Roberta and it doesn’t suit her.

Uncle lands the plane near Murphytown. Roberta says Citizen Z might have a message about Lucy. The plane doesn’t land well.

Everyone goes out to the plane. Citizen Z is weirded out by actually seeing everyone in person. He says he sees it’s a bad time, but has a message for Roberta. She hugs him and asks if Addie and Doc are still alive. He says he doesn’t know, but Doc told him that Lucy has been kidnapped by The Man. Murphy says he’s taking her to Zona. Citizen Z says he’s taking her to a top secret rendezvous, but he has the coordinates. Murphy tells Roberta that he needs her help and she says let’s make a deal.

Kaya keeps trying to get Citizen Z. Suddenly he’s there. He says things got dicey, but they’re going after Lucy. Kaya tells him that The Man is still on his way to Puget Sound. He tells her that she’s saved the world. She says she’s missed her period. He asks if that’s a code thing, and she says it’s a she’s pregnant thing. He says the world will have to take care of itself; he’s coming home.

Murphy says he’ll be back soon. He’s told that Roberta can’t be found, and he says that everything will be fine.

Meanwhile, Addie finds The Man’s car abandoned on the road. It’s still warm. She sees a few dead zombies. One of them is pointing, and Addie says, “Clever girl.”

Next time, Addie faces The Man, and Lucy shows her mettle.

Quotes of the Week

We can complain that rose bushes have thorns or we can rejoice that thorn bushes have roses.          – Abraham Lincoln

The adoption process is simple. We put cats in your car when you’re not looking.Kate McKenna in a Whiskers R We SNL skit

…Above all things lose no occasion of exercising your dispositions to be grateful to be generous, to be charitable, to be humane, to be true... – Thomas Jefferson

December 1, 2016 – Over-Thinking on GH, a Random Thought & a Joke

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu and Dante are having some relaxing time. Rocco is asleep and the bills are paid. Laura walks in. So much for relaxing time.

Maxie begs Nathan to give her just a hint about her wedding present. Nina knocks at the door with some Crimson updates. She says sorry she’s late, but she was visiting a friend. Nathan is like, please, not Valentin.

Valentin tells Anna she already knows why he said “open your eyes” in Latin. She says he must know it’s the WSB training motto, and asks what his involvement might be.

Griff breaks up the fight between Franco and Tom. Tom says Franco is the crazy one, and Franco tells him if he goes near Elizabeth again, he’ll kill him. The second Griff lets Franco go, he goes after Tom again. Griff calls for help and a security guard comes running. Tom says he’s done his time and Elizabeth’s boyfriend just tried to murder him in front of her – which one is the monster?

Kiki tells Dillon about quitting her job. She says she hurt someone that Carly and Michael love.  They couldn’t get past it and neither could she. Dillon thinks she should take the chance to figure out what she really wants to do. He doesn’t think it’s waitressing.

Laura is like, sorry, and says she’s cramping Lulu and Dante’s style, but it’s temporary. She hands Lulu an envelope that has a honeymoon package for the MetroCourt, and asks if they feel better now. It sounds great and I am so ready to go. Oh wait, it’s not for me. She tells them to pack a bag and get going. She calls Doc.

Laura tells Doc she got his message. He says he’s just getting off work and has a pasta recipe he’d like to try. She explains that she’s babysitting and he offers to cook there. She’s not comfortable with that, and he says another time. He says he enjoys spending time with her and is glad she’s giving it another chance, but he feels like she’s pulling away. She says she’s not quite ready to go there just yet, and he tells her she’s worth the wait and he’ll call her tomorrow.

Monica sees Doc in the hospital corridor, and tells him that he’s the only person she can trust and she needs his help. Lulu and Dante take off for the MetroCourt.

Valentin asks if Anna would like a drink, but she’d rather have an answer. He tells her she’s over-thinking things. He says it was an invitation to look at him without prejudice. He’s not a threat to anyone, least of all her. She doesn’t believe it.

Dante and Lulu get busy in the honeymoon suite.

Tracy comes by Lulu and Dante’s place, and Laura explains where they are. She’s brought some wine and says it’s not a very creative gift when she sees the table overflowing with wine and flowers. She tells Laura that Lulu is a wonderful girl. Laura tells Tracy that she’s grateful to her for the support and guidance that she gave Lulu when she couldn’t be there. Tracy says they’ve never had a drink together, and no time like the present.

Doc tells Monica that it’s outside his area of expertise. Monica says she has to make tough decisions, and she doesn’t need the board to have one more excuse to turn the hospital into condos if she messes up. She gives him a file box and says they’re counting on him. I’m pretty certain this is going to turn out to be something goofy.

Dillon talks to Kiki about how he found his niche. He says he feels that waitressing is a way to put off chasing her dreams. Kiki says she’d need a dream to begin with, and she has no clue what she wants to do with her life.

Anna asks about Valentin’s childhood. He asks why the interest. She says his eyes and that they’ve met before. He says he’d remember her, calling her Agent Devaine, and then asks if he can call her Anna.

Nina tells Nathan and Maxie that Ava is a liar, and because she says Valentin is a killer, that gives her all the more reason to think that he’s a thoughtful, kind man. Maxie brings up the kidnapping, and Nina says he didn’t know anything about it and just wants to be with his daughter.

Elizabeth tells Tom that he provoked Franco. Tom asks if anyone buys the brain tumor thing. Franco says he and his brother better sleep in shifts. The first chance he gets, he’s coming after him. Griff says if they both don’t calm down, he’s calling the police. Monica asks what the blip they’re doing.

Tracy and Laura toast to Lulu and Dante. Tracy asks what’s happening with Laura and Doc. Laura says they’ve been seeing a lot of each other, but she slowed it down. She says she was worried about getting in too deep, and Tracy says she understands. Laura tells her she was glad to have the babysitting excuse tonight, and when he offered to come there, she turned him down. She says she’s been defined buy men all her life and doesn’t want to lose herself. Tracy asks if she’s over-thinking. Today’s theme. Laura says it’s exhausting, but it’s how she thinks. Tracy has an idea.

Doc says the hospital needs this and someone has to do it. It might as well be him.

Monica asks if Tom remembers her, or her daughter Emily, who he tried to extort. She tells him to get out or she’ll have him arrested for trespassing. He says they’ll hear from his lawyer and gets in the elevator. Monica says sorry, but GH has a zero tolerance policy for violence, and Franco is going to have to go too. Monica says she understands that he attacked Tom first, and at the least she can do is to suspend him for two days. Elizabeth tells Franco that maybe it’s best if he goes home. Franco says Tom was stalking her and scaring her. She says right now he’s scaring her. He says deep down he’ll always be the monster and walks away from her.

Laura tells Tracy that she’s having second thoughts, and Tracy tells her to come out. Laura is all made up and wearing a fur coat. Tracy says she looks great. Laura asks what if Lulu and Dante come home, and Tracy says she’s babysat for them before, and to loosen up. She pushes Laura out the door.

Dante has called room service for beer in a champagne bucket. He tells Lulu the story about when he saw her for the first time and fell in love with her.

Nina tells Nathan and Maxie that she’s taken an interest in Charlotte. She’s been through the wringer, having been introduced to three fathers within a month. Nina says it’s a lot for someone to take, let alone a small child, but she’s been reunited with her loving father. She says she enjoys Valentin’s company, and that he treats her like an adult, which is more she can say for them. She says she’s done a lot with her life, including saving a company. Nathan says he’s just worried about her, and she tells him that if she’s making a mistake, it’s hers to make, not his. After she’s gone, Nathan tells Maxie that he blew it. Maxie says badly, but she loves him anyway.

Valentin tells Anna that he chooses not to dwell on the past. His solitary study taught him a lot from books. He talks about what can be learned from Shakespeare. She asks if he sees himself as a Shakespearean character. He says he did when he was younger, and it steered him to who he wanted to be. She asks who he sees himself as, and he says not Richard III. He says the only reason Richard lost the battle at Bosworth was that he trusted the wrong person. Anna gets up, saying she obviously isn’t getting any answers. Valentin tells her that he thought they could be friends, and maybe were in another life. She smiles to herself on the porch, perplexing me.

Franco says the anger is returning and there’s no way for him to keep it in check, especially since the recipient is deserving. We see that he’s talking to Heather. He needs Heather’s advice because no one else knows where he’s coming from.

Laura knocks at Doc’s door. She opens the coat. She’s nakey underneath. Santa answers the door. He’s probably thinking, ho-ho-ho, but she screams.

Lulu tells Dante that she’s heard this story before, but he’s leaving out details, like her brothers kicking the spit out of him.

Dillon goes to Lulu and Dante’s place, and Tracy answers the door. He says he’ll add his gift to the pile. She’s glad he mended his relationship with Lulu. He says thanks for reminding him of their rift, but he and Lulu are friends now. Tracy asks if he’s going to let the same thing happen with Kiki.

Kiki is applying for a waitress job at Kelly’s and says maybe Dillon is right. She brings up a career aptitude test on her phone.

Franco says he knows Heather is upset with him. She says he ratted her out, and she can’t sneeze now without an intervention. Franco says he’s scared he’s going to lose Elizabeth if he does what he wants to do. He tells her about Tom and how he wants to watch him suffer. Heather says he came to the right place. He asks how to make it stop. She says his thoughts aren’t the problem, Elizabeth is.

Griff asks Elizabeth if she’s okay. She says she has to be, she has three kids. She says she knew this day was coming, and made a promise that Tom couldn’t control her when he got out of prison.

Anna sees Nina at Kelly’s and asks if she can join her. Nina says before she starts her inquisition, Claudette is a pathological liar, and nothing she says about Valentin is true. She tells Anna that she and Valentin are strangely alike, and they were both lonely kids. He was shipped off to school as a child and never even  went home for holidays. Anna asks what school he went to.

Valentin recites Shakespeare as he takes an old picture of Anna out of a wooden box.

Laura thinks she got the wrong house, but it’s Doc in a Santa suit. He explains that Monica put him on Santa duty. Laura says she doesn’t know what she was thinking, but he says he likes it. She says that she wanted to prove she could be spontaneous. He says he likes the way she is, and she doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone except herself. She asks if he’s inviting her in, and he asks if she’s sure. I guess Santa duty is going to have to wait.

Lulu and Dante toast to new beginnings.

Dillon tells Tracy that Kiki feels she would be betraying Morgan if they got together, and he has to respect that. Tracy appreciates that she raised him properly, but asks if he’s giving up without a fight.

Kiki looks at the phone and says her career weirdly makes sense.

Nathan leaves a message for Nina, apologizing. He tells Maxie that he pressed all the wrong buttons and practically shoved her back to Valentin. I gotta say, I’m into Valentin too, and nobody shoved me.

After a few tries at remembering, Nina tells Anna that Valentin’s school was Bedlington in England. Anna asks if she’s sure. (Maybe England is where she and Valentin know each other from?) Nina says she’s not sure about anything, least of all why she should cooperate with her, when Anna is after a man she considers a friend. Nina bids her good day.

Anna makes a call. She wants some information about the boarding school.

Valentin says Anna will have her answers when the time is right.

Franco tells Heather that Elizabeth isn’t the problem, Tom is. Heather says he’s a symptom; Elizabeth is the disease. She says a catalyst comes along, and Franco tries to be something he’s not. It’s like putting a pin in a balloon and he’s about to explode. She tells him everything is fine if there are no complications, but you can’t remove pinpricks from life. Franco says, watch him.

Elizabeth tells Griff that Franco is very protective of the people he cares about, and there’s no telling what he would do if one of them is threatened.

While leaving Kelly’s, Kiki drops her wallet. Tom picks it up and gives it back to her. He waits a few beats, and follows.

Tomorrow, Michael asks Nell out, Anna asks Alexis for dirt on Valentin, and Carly wants to get back with Sonny.

🍳 Random thought. I find myself nodding sagely as I watch Top Chef. Like I know the first thing about what they’re doing.

😸 Joke heard on Life in Pieces: Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? It’s making headlines. BA-DUM-CHH!

November 30, 2016 – It’s All About That GH & a Nod to the Little Side

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Franco wants Elizabeth to go with him to NYC for some decent coffee. There’s also an art exhibit he wants to see. She says she can’t just take off like that, but gets a clue and asks him what’s really up. He says they don’t have to go to the city, just away, because Tom Baker is at the hospital.

Nina visits Windemere. Valentin says he thinks Charlotte is missing her mother, and Nina’s visit will do her good. Nina gives Charlotte a beautifully wrapped box. Inside is a gorgeous doll, who Charlotte names Giselle. She asks if Nina will stay, and Nina says for a little bit. Valentin says she’s just what the doctor ordered; Charlotte likes Nina a lot.

Maxie opens a wedding present from Fiddy. We don’t see it, but she says he has good taste. The phone rings. It’s a call from France. Maxie thinks it’s Claudette.

Dillon stops by the MetroCourt and startles Kiki, who’s concentrating on Anna Karenina. She’d been reading it for a class at Vassar before she dropped out. Dillon points out how depressing it is. Kiki says it isn’t the content that’s getting to her, but what it represents. She talks about being a different person back then, and how she didn’t care what consequences her actions led to. Dillon tells her to quit punishing herself.

Nell eavesdrops on Carly and Sonny. Seeing two glasses on the table, Carly asks who was with Sonny last night, and he tells her it was Max. She asks when Max started wearing lipstick. Maybe that’s what the fight with Diane was about. Ha-ha!

Griff talks to Anna and Nathan, saying people don’t just disappear. Anna asks if there’s any info on the man who was with the airline passenger they think was Claudette. Nathan says he can only be partially seen in the photo, but the Canadian authorities are working on it. He says thy may have to face the possibility of not finding her. Anna says it’s possible she might be dead.

Maxie tells Claudette to slow down. Someone else gets on the phone, and the connection is severed. Maxie tries to call back.

Sonny tells Carly that Laura stopped by, and they talked about losing their children. She knew Sonny was alone, and Carly has Jax to help her. Carly says he went back to Australia because his mom is sick and there’s nothing else he can do here anyway. Sonny is skeptical, and Carly says she wants to tell him what happened between her and Jax.

Griff doesn’t want to accept that Claudette is dead. Nathan says they have to be realistic, and the trail is cold. Anna says she knows it’s not easy for Nathan either. Nathan says he knows now that everything Claudette did was to protect Charlotte from Valentin. Griff asks Anna if it’s over. He mentions that what Valentin said at the custody hearing upset her. She tells him it was a Latin phrase that means “open your eyes.”

Charlotte goes to introduce Giselle to her animals, Pinky the bear and Charlemagne the lion. Nina says Valentin must have helped with the lion’s name. He says that he knows what it’s like to be a child without love, and wanted Charlotte to experience things differently. Nina asks what his childhood was like, and he says that he didn’t grow up in a house like Windemere. Nina says growing up rich isn’t that great, and Valentin says he’d thought if he got money, power and prestige, it would fix everything. She asks what happened to him. He says he doesn’t usually talk about it, but maybe it’s time he did.

Kiki says she betrayed what she had with Morgan, and Dillon suggests maybe her reading material is a bad idea right now. He pretends to read from the book, but changes it to something about a trip to Aspen. Kiki is like, that’s not from the book, and he says it’s from Crimson. A top ten things to do article.

Carly tells Sonny that she was hurting badly, and did what she always does, hide from the pain by hurting herself worse, but she stopped. She says she kissed Jax, but he pulled back. She could have pursued it, but didn’t want to use her grief as an excuse to act out. She wants to tell him the truth, and wants honesty between them. Sonny says if she wants honesty now, it’s too late. What?

Elizabeth tells Franco that every time she asks him to do something, he does the opposite. I know the feeling. He explains how he’s tracking Tom with a GPS, and she asks if he wants to get arrested for stalking. He says Tom seems to be following her, and she suggests they go home and talk about it. They head in opposite directions, and Elizabeth comes face to face with Tom.

Nathan comes home and gets on the phone, speaking in French. After he hangs up, Nathan tells Maxie that the call was from Paris.

Anna tells Griff that he didn’t hear it from her, but “open your eyes” is the motto of the WSB training camp. It means to be alert to what’s right in front of you. Griff says he doesn’t believe Valentin pulled it out of the blue. Anna says there’s a connection between Valentin and the WSB.

Nina tells Valentin that she was a poor little rich girl with a distant father and a cold controlling mother; lots of toys, no love, and her only friend was a pony. Valentin says he was a bastard who never knew his mother, and was sent to boarding school by the time he was nine. He thinks his father possibly wanted to protect him from his stepmother, or just wanted him out of the way. He says by the time he got to Bedlington (is that where Spencer is now?), he was the youngest boarder. He never went home, not even for Christmas, and none of the other students invited him to their homes. He was different from the other kids.

Sonny tells Carly that Morgan is dead, like she forgot Carly asks if he thought she was jumping in bed with Jax, and he kind of nods. She says it wouldn’t have fixed anything, and just caused more pain, although it crossed her mind. She thanks him for calling and says sorry she didn’t call him back. She tells him to let her know if he needs anything, and leaves. Best timing of the century.

Nell comes down. She apologizes and says she never should have told him that Carly and Jax slept together. He says that’s why this happened. Nell says she should have left, but she felt badly for him, He tells her that he takes full responsibility doesn’t, even though he doesn’t remember anything. He says the good news is, it’s done, and Nell says. what if it isn’t?

Elizabeth asks Tom what he’s doing there. He says he didn’t know she was working there today. Franco suddenly appears, and asks why Tom is there and if he’s stalking Elizabeth. A guy walks up to them, saying Tom just got hired. He’s doing some construction work at the hospital and hires parolees because he believes in second chances. Tom says bizarre coincidence and he’s sorry. Hmm…

Maxie asks Nathan what’s going on. He says he ordered a wedding gift for her from Paris. He says they were supposed to call his cell; the landline was just a back-up number. She says now that she knows about it, he should tell her what it is, but that’s not happening. She pumps him for information, and he says she’s going to ruin the surprise. She says she has ways of making him talk, and they start to kiss. He tells her to keep trying.

Anna tells Griff that Valentine’s uncle was head of the WSB at one time, and nearly took the bureau down. Robert says there’s no record that Valentin was ever a recruit, and Griff reminds her that there are no records of him before 2011. He says maybe Valentin was using the phrase to get to her head; he probably did research. Anna wonders why he seemed familiar though, and thinks he was being specific. He knows something about her and her time when she was a recruit. Griff wonders what that could be, and she says she’s going to find out.

Valentin tells Nina that he never fit in at school. After that, he went looking for trouble, and found it many times over. She says she knows how it feels to be an outsider, longing for love and acceptance. She says she’ll tell him about it sometime. He says he’d love to have a lot more of her time.

Kiki is off work. Dillon hands her his phone with the Crimson article on it. She says be honest, they have to know how ridiculous the articles are. He jokes that they put their heart and soul into them. She says these are the kinds of fantasies that make you jealous, and he says that’s the point. He shows her something about seeing Niagara Falls for free, and says they could take a day trip. How far upstate are they? Carly walks in and sees them sitting at a table together.

Nell tells Sonny that she doesn’t know if she can look Carly in the face again. Sonny says it was a lapse in judgement that’s not happening again. Nell says that Carly is going to know something is wrong, and maybe they should tell her the truth. Sonny says that’s not going to happen.

Carly asks to talk to Kiki and Dillon excuses himself. Kiki tells Carly she’s off the clock, and asks what she wants to talk about. Carly tells her never mind. Kiki says she knows how Carly feels about her, and that when Carly sees her, she thinks about her breaking Morgan’s heart. She thinks maybe it’s time for her to move on.

Sonny tells Nell to get herself together, and under no circumstances are they telling Carly. It won’t benefit anybody. Nell says he’s right; it will only cause more pain, and she just didn’t think it through. He says you think confessing is going to wipe the slate clean, but you have to think about the consequences. He tells her again that he takes full responsibility, and apologizes. He says if she needs anything moving forward, he’s there to help. Nell leaves. When she gets outside, she takes out her phone.

Nina has to get to work. She asks Valentin to tell Charlotte that she had to go to the office, but she’ll be looking for purple outfits for Giselle. She tells him that if he needs any help to let her know. He kisses her at the door and Anna pops out of nowhere. Second best timing of the century.

Tom leaves with his boss. He drops a hammer and Franco puts his foot on it. He says Tom isn’t fooling him, and he’s watching him. He knew he’d show up here, and he’ll know if he ever comes back. Tom calls him a freak, and Franco slams him against the wall.

Basking in the afterglow, Maxie says Nathan might as well tell her. He won’t, and she tells him not to make her go to extreme measures. He says show him what she has, and they start kissing again.

Nina leaves, and Valentin asks Anna what he can do for her. She asks him what he meant by the phrase “open your eyes,” and he says she already knows.

Griff breaks up the fight between Franco and Tom. Franco tells Tom that if he goes near Elizabeth again, he’ll kill him. Not wise words to say in public.

Kiki says whenever she and Carly see each other, they’re hit again by the pain, so it might be better if she moves on. Carly says it’s a mature decision, and she’ll give Kiki severance pay, as well as a good recommendation. Kiki thanks Carly, and says she’s sorry. Carly says she knows Kiki did the best she could, and is no position to judge. She wants to figure out how to get through the grief and honor Morgan by moving forward, but it’s hard. She wants to avoid unnecessary pain.

Nell listens to her recording of Sonny saying they slept together, not to tell Carly, and that he takes full responsibility. Inside, Sonny throws a glass at the fireplace. Nell looks smug as she looks at the phone.

Tomorrow, Anna doesn’t believe Valentin, Laura is afraid to move forward with Doc, and Franco attacks Tom again.

A Little Recommendation

💍 I’m loving Little Weddings. It combines the little people I love with a family run wedding business. It seems like when a reality show cast has something else to focus on, rather than just each other, there’s less chance of physical altercations. Not that the wedding business, as well as being in it with family, isn’t fraught with angst, but none of these people are throwing anything except bouquets. Kelly is the boss, with sisters Kacy and Kensey, and brother T.J. involved. T.J. also has an upcoming wedding of his own, so that’s a subplot itself. He and Kelly butt heads so much, it’s questionable as to whether she’ll end up being the planner. It’s a lovely family, and the gorgeous weddings are a fabulous plus.

👢 Too bad I can’t say the same for Little Women: Dallas. It hasn’t even been on that long, and has already degenerated into Little Women: Atlanta territory. And no wonder, since there are a few crossover cast members, and another who could pass for Miss Juicy’s sister. It’s only episode five, and we have a pending police report and/or lawsuit. At least Little Women: LA waited several seasons for that. It’s one of those shows that’s on my radar, because there are some good moments, but it’s no tragedy if I miss it.

November 29, 2016 – Bad Timing on GH, Some Good-Bys on ILYIW, a Good Final Charter for Below Deck & Hello to the London Ladies

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian has a visitor. He thinks it’s Alexis, but it’s Jordan. She tells him he had internal bleeding and some bone breakage, and just got out of surgery. Isn’t it the doctor’s job to update him on his condition? And why is she allowed to go in there alone when he just had surgery five minutes ago? She asks if he remembers what happened and he says he was hit by a car. She wants to know details, like who hit him.

Molly shows up at Alexis’s house early. She wonders what happened on Thanksgiving. She tells Alexis that she texted five times and there was no response. She wants to know what Alexis was doing out all night.

Finn is looking for Hayden and tells Tracy that it looks like she was out all night. Hayden comes in from the kitchen and wonders what the emergency is.

Obrecht and Franco are having breakfast. His face is in his phone and she tells him that he’s fallen into the mindless obsession of screens. Ha-ha! She wants to know what’s more important than her scintillating conversation. He says Tom Baker.

At the hospital, Bobbie gets flowers from Carly.

Sonny wakes up with Nell next to him. He’s like oh, geez. She says good morning, but it’s not like she’s smiling. Please, please, please don’t tell me she’s going to say he forced himself on her. I won’t be able to take it.

Finn chastises Tracy for telling him Hayden was upstairs. Tracy suggests installing a GPS chip in Hayden. Finn says Hayden’s bed looks like it hasn’t been slept in. Hayden tells him what a shock, since she made her bed after she got up. She says she’s feeling better and wants to go to work, but Finn says her test results came back.

Obrecht confuses Tom Baker with the actor from Dr. Who, and then realizes who Franco is talking about. Franco wonders if he should be judging Tom, but Obrecht says he doesn’t have an illness like Franco did. She says she’s glad he hasn’t risked his freedom by killing Tom, and asks why he’s watching him. The hospital tech has set it up so he can track Tom on his phone.

Alexis tells Molly that she underestimated how hard Thanksgiving would be. She wanted to clear her head and went for drive. She starts to clean things up and drops something. Molly asks if she’s okay, and she says no.

Julian tells Jordan that he remembers going to the bar, but after that, nothing. Jordan says the more details he can give her, the faster she can solve the case. She thinks there might be a connection to the bomb. She says it’s her duty to protect the citizens of Port Charles. even him.

Sonny asks Nell what happened, saying that he doesn’t remember anything. He says he’s been drinking since Morgan died and never blacked out before. He remembers Nell coming over and talking about Morgan. He says he remembers her getting the scotch, and wonders how they wound up sleeping together. Oh-ho! I guess she slipped him something. Maybe that’s why she was messing around with the photos; she was hiding it.

Carly congratulates Bobbie on returning to GH, and says the flowers are also a peace offering for their altercation about Nell. Bobbie says maybe she’s just being judgemental, but she has a bad feeling about Nell. Carly understands about something being too good to be true, but says just because they were lying schemers when they were young, doesn’t mean Nell is. Bobbie promises to wait until something actually happens before reacting.

Sonny is trying to figure it out. He says Nell is lovely and sweet, and no disrespect, but how did they wind up sleeping together? I guess that’s his way of saying she’s not his type. She says she helped him upstairs and put him to bed. She says they were both lonely, and one thing led to another. She starts to cry, and says she’s sorry, she never should have let it happen. He tells her no worries, but she wonders how she can look Carly in the face again.

Obrecht tells Franco to give up his fool’s errand. She says she isn’t Elizabeth’s greatest fan, but reminds him that Elizabeth is already upset about him going after Tom the first time. She takes his phone. She says Tom is a lump and not moving. He’s no threat, and Elizabeth doesn’t need to be rescued.

Elizabeth checks Julian’s vitals. She remembers being in the hospital herself, and he says he’s sorry about what happened with Paul. She says she had friends and family to help her, and he says he does’t have that luxury.

Finn tells Hayden that he’d hoped the antibiotics would help. She says maybe they did, since she’s feeling better. He says she tested positve for the same disease he has.

Nell says Carly is going to be angry and disappointed. She asks Sonny not to tell her. He says Carly will be angry with him, not her, but Nell says she doesn’t want Carly looking at her differently. She starts to cry again, and begs Sonny not to say anything. He tells her not to worry, he won’t. He might not have to. Carly calls to him from downstairs. Sonny says he’ll be right down. He tells Nell to stay put.

Hayden thanks Finn, but she still wants to go to work. He says they need to figure out what happens next. She says he does; she still has to earn a living. Tracy suggests that Hayden take the day off, but she says she’s not dying today, and she’ll see them when she gets back. Tracy asks Finn, now what?

Obrecht says Tom is most likely contemplating the futility of his own existence. Franco says, or his next move. Obrecht insists he’s no threat, but Franco says this guy is practically vibrating that he thinks he’s invincible. She thinks he should wait until Tom makes the first move, but he doesn’t want to take that chance. If he can’t protect Elizabeth within the confines of the law, he’ll do it another way. He says he can’t let anything happen to her and won’t.

Julian asks if he’s going to live, and Elizabeth says it appears so. He asks when he can leave. She tells him that he just got done with surgery and has broken bones. He’s going to need significant care, plus someone to look after him when he gets home. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Molly asks Alexis if something else happened. Alexis says the holidays are getting to her and it’s going to be a long month. Molly says it’s the worst month of Alexis’s life, and Alexis is impressed that Molly’s response is both hyperbole and an understatement. Molly says after the new year, Alexis has a chance to get her law life back.

There’s a knock at the door and Alexis says it must be opportunity. Nope, it’s Jordan. She says they need to talk about Julian.

Sonny comes downstairs. Carly says she wanted to check on him and see how he’s doing, since he was stuck by himself on Thanksgiving. He says he’s fine, and she says she also has to ask him a question.

Alexis asks Jordan what Julian has done now. Jordan says he’s in the hospital. She asks if it’s serious, and Jordan says he was hit by a car. Molly hopes he’s dead, I laugh, and Alexis chastises her. Alexis asks if they know who it was, but Jordan says not yet. Molly says if they find out, she’ll help raise money for his defense. She’s a real card today. Jordan says he was having a drink in a bar outside of Port Charles, but has no recollection of the accident. She’s concerned it was another attempt on his life, and wonders if there’s a connection to the car bomb. Alexis says you can never be too careful.

Obrecht tells Franco that he’s actually an honorable man, but until Tom makes a move, he can’t do anything. As if he heard her, Tom makes a move.

Elizabeth sees Hayden banging on the vending machine. She asks if everything is all right.

Sonny asks Carly what’s on her mind, and she asks if Jason has come up with anything in his investigation. Sonny says no leads, but he’s working on it. Carly asks to be kept posted. Sonny repeats what Carly had told him, that whether it was him or not, their son is still dead. Carly says it doesn’t honor him for her to punish Sonny, so she’s going to stop. Great timing, Carly.

Carly apologizes and says Morgan would want them to do better and be kind to each other. She says she spent the day thinking about previous holidays, and they go down Morgan Memory Lane. Carly says she kept staring at the door on Thanksgiving, hoping he would come in. Sonny says he’s the same way. She says Christmas is around the corner. She knows they have to keep up appearances for the kids, but she’ll be going through the same thing he is, so maybe they can look out for each other and make each other feel better.

Tracy tells Finn that could have gone better, but at least Hayden is feeling positive. He says she needs to come back to reality, and that she’s in a state of denial. Tracy says there’s nothing she can do, and too bad he quit GH when he did. Finn says he had no choice. He says what Brad found is keeping him alive, and now it will have to keep Hayden alive too. Tracy asks if he has enough, and he says not even close.

Elizabeth approaches Hayden. She starts to cry, and Elizabeth hugs her.

Alexis thanks Jordan, but doesn’t know how she can help. Jordan says Sonny is a person of interest. She says Alexis and Julian are divorced, but Julian keeps declaring his love, which makes her a target. Jordan tells her to live her life, but be careful. Alexis says she’ll do her best. Jordan leaves, and Molly asks if Alexis is okay, suggesting she needs retail therapy. Alexis keen on crowded stores and bumping up against strangers, but tells Molly to have a good time. As soon as Molly is gone,  Alexis says she isn’t sure if she believes in God, but if He’s up there, thank you. Julian calls, and I wonder if she silently takes back her thanks.

Julian says she didn’t expect to hear from him, did she? She says she heard he’s in the hospital, and asks how he’s feeling. He says he’ll live, but he’s had better days. He wants her to visit him. She says she can’t, but he says she owes him that much.

Tracy wants to check her contacts. She tells Finn that she’ll find the drug he needs in a country where it’s legal, and have it sent. Finn doesn’t want her risking it. She says he’s not in this alone. Finn says he appreciates it, but it’s a problem he needs to solve. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else. Tracy says she doesn’t want to lose him, and he doesn’t want to lose Hayden. He says he’s not resting until he finds a cure.

Franco is agitated, and Obrecht tells him to calm down. He says a predator is on the loose, and wonders if this is how people felt about him. Obrecht says that she imagines some still might. He sees Tom is headed for the hospital.

Hayden says Elizabeth is the last person she wants to be with right now and walks away.

Carly tells Sonny that she can’t imagine how lonely he must be, and he says it’s better than being in a cell. She tells him to call her. She sees the two glasses on the table, and asks who was there with him.

Tomorrow, Carly wants to be honest, Valentin meets with Nina, and Griff asks Nathan about Claudette.

If Loving You is Wrong

We go back to last week’s ending – Randal pleading with Rusty, and Rusty telling him shut up, boy. One of Rusty’s boys smacks Randal with a shovel. Rusty tells them to hurry up and they tell him to keep his pants on. Randal isn’t down for long, and says he can give Rusty money. Rusty asks where he’d get money, and Randal says he’s a doctor. Rusty says there are no Black doctors and no one watching even knows what to say. He insists Randal must be a drug dealer. Randal begs again for Rusty not to hurt his son.

Rusty tells his boys they’re good for nothing, and tells Randal to shut up again. Okay, can we move on? For whatever reason, Rusty’s boys can’t deal with some chain. We hear the baby cry. He’s lying on the front lawn, and Randal moves toward him. Virginia comes onto the porch and tells him that he’d better not. She says he’s going to die. She lights up a cigarette to emphasize how bad she is.

She says she knows he didn’t rape Alex, but he’d better not tell Rusty she said it, and no way is she going to help him. She tells him he should have stuck to his own kind. Randal says they’re in love, and Virginia says Alex doesn’t love him. He says in her heart she does, and Virginia asks why Alex would have come to them for help then. Alex told them he was trying to take the baby from her. She asks him why they would have gone through all this trouble except for her. Randal can’t believe Alex would do something like that.

The baby is crying, and Randal asks if she can at least pick him up. Virginia says she wouldn’t dare; Rusty would knock her sideways. He says he knows she’s not this person, and she asks how he would know who she is. He asks if Rusty was her first love, and then asks if she had to settle for him. Oh, that’s right, he’s a shrink. He says she had big dreams and ended up there. He starts talking about her parents which is always the root of the problem. She asks if Alex told him or is he a witch. He says he just knows people. She calls him a witch in black and says good thing Rusty is going to hang him. She says they’re going to hang him and take him to Alligator Alley and drop his body in, and the boy too. Randal starts to beg agina, but she goes inside.

Rusty tells Randal to back away from the baby like he’s a baby alarm. You are too close to the baby! Step away from the baby!

Meanwhile, back at the station, Steven gets a message from Andrew. He’s out of area, so Steven tells the operator to call Andrew’s cell. She says he’s in good hands; Eddie is with him. She says Eddie went to back him up, but said not to tell Steven. Steven asks if Andrew has Alex with him, and she says she thinks so. She makes calls to both Eddie and Andrew, but they go to voicemail.

At Alex’s house, Kelly paces, and Marcie asks what’s wrong. Kelly returns the question and Marcie says she’s just tired. Kelly says she’s worried about Alex, and wishes someone would get back. Marcie asks who’s on her porch. It’s Travis. Marcie is about to invite him in, but Kelly says no. Kelly makes sure the door is locked, and tells Marcie that Travis is acting strange. She says he broke into her house and he’s been stalking her. Marcie wants her to call the police, but she says she’ll be okay. She wonders if she led him on, and Marcie tells her not to be one of those women who blame themselves, and to call the police. Now. Kelly takes out her phone.

Lushion’s phone rings, and Natalie tells him to answer it. She says Joey has been stable and his phone has been blowing up. He goes into the hallway. It’s Kelly. She asks about Joey, and then says she might need a restraining order. She asks him to keep it between them, and tells him what Travis has been up to and that he’s been acting crazy. He asks if she’s safe, and she says she thinks so. He says he can’t come right now, but he’ll send someone he trusts. She asks if Ramses said anything about leaving, and Lushion says no. She tells him that Travis told her that Ramses was gone for good, like he knew something. Kelly says there was a sign on Ramses’s door saying he went back to Utah, but it seemed weird to her. She asks him to check. Lushion says he has the key and he’ll send it with Officer Rick. Kelly says she’ll pray for Joey, and they hang up. Marcie tells her she did the right thing, and what Travis is doing isn’t okay. Kelly knows Marcie is holding something back and says she’ll spill it eventually.

Lushion calls Steven. He asks Steven to send Rick to Kelly’s, and do a sweep of both of their houses. He can pick up the keys at the hospital. Steven tells Lushion about Andrew, and how he thinks Eddie got involved. Now he can’t get either one on the phone. Lushion says they need to take him down now. They have more than enough to take the whole department down. Steven says he almost has the cartel and they can’t risk it. Lushion says Eddie is running amok, and they don’t even know where Pete is. He says to make sure Michael finds him. Steven asks about Joey, and says they’re going out to Alex’s parents’. Lushion tells him to call it in to FBI headquarters; it’s a kidnapping. Steven says Eddie is already on to him, but Lushion insists. He can’t believe the way his night is going.

Natalie asks what’s going on, and Lushion says nothing. Ha-ha! She says she knows him, and he needs to go take care of whatever. He refuses to leave, and she wants to know what’s up. He tells her about Alex’s parents kidnapping Randal and the baby. He says he’s sending some guys from the FBI. She asks if Eddie is there, and when Lushion says yes, she insists he go. He tells her to call him if there’s any change.

The police arrive. Kelly sees that they’re going to her house, and she peeks out the door. No Travis. Rick introduces himself and asks what the deal is. She says it’s her ex, and explains about Travis breaking into her house. She asks if she’s over-reacting, and Rick says not if he broke in. Duh. She says he’s just a kid and she doesn’t know this side of him. Rick says he’ll make a report, and to call if anything else happens. He’s going to Ramses’s house and Kelly wants to come, but he tells her to stay there.

Rick shines his flashlight in the windows and knocks on the door. He asks if anyone is home and goes inside. He comes back out pretty quickly. Kelly asks if everything is okay and he tells her to get inside immediately. He radios for back-up. Kelly tells Marcie that something happened to Ramses.

Commercial break with important information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on Tuesday, January 3 at 9 pm.

Rusty’s boys can’t get the boat off the hitch. Rusty goes to get the saw. I guess Rusty’s hitch is rusty.

Randal asks Virginia to pick up the baby, and she says she’s not picking “that thing” up. He says the baby is cold, and she tells him being cold is the least of its worries. She says she’s not touching him or Randal. He says he’ll pay her. She’s another one who can’t fathom that he has money. She asks how much. He says 100 grand. She thinks this over. He asks if she can’t use the money, and she acts like it’s an insult and tells him he has nothing they want.

Virginia goes over to Rusty. It would be really funny if she got the boat unhitched. She tells Rusty that Randal says he has money, 100K. Rusty says Randal is going to die and he doesn’t want anything from him. He sees Randal moving toward the baby and kicks him. A police car drives in. It’s Alex.

Virginia gives Rusty his gun and Alex tells them to give her the child. Randal calls to Alex and Rusty fires a shot near him. Alex says she’s not going without her baby. Virginia says that Alex laid with that trash and now she’s saying please. She says it’s a sin before God and she can’t love the baby. They have to let him die so she can get forgiveness and go to heaven. Alex tells Rusty she’s sorry. Rusty tells her to put a bullet in Randal’s head. Virginia tells Rusty not to trust her, but he says she’s his daughter. Alex says she can’t, and he says she’s not sorry then. He says she brought this to them. She says she’s sorry, and he asks what she’s sorry for. She says she’s sorry she slept with Randal. Rusty is like, what? and she says she’s sorry she let him rape her.

Randal protests, and Alex pops him one in the head. Virginia tells Rusty not to trust her, but he gives her the gun. Randal begs – a lazy acting week for him, since he had hardly any lines to learn – and Alex says it’s for her son. He keeps telling her please don’t. She can’t. Rusty says she’s always been soft-hearted like her mom, but he’s going to teach her different. Another police car pulls up. It’s Eddie. Great. Just what this party needs.

Rusty asks what he’s doing there, and he says he came to watch. He says Alex’s husband is his best friend and Randal raped her. Randal is like, Eddie, please, and Eddie says go ahead and beg. He asks if he can have the pleasure, and Rusty says sure, but they have to get the boat in the water first. Because – he says it – it’s rusty. Eddie shoots the chain and the boat is free. Boy, they are stupid. Everybody has a gun and no one thought of that.

They put the noose around Randal’s neck. He’s all noooo! and they drag him off, Eddie in the lead. Eddie throws the rope over a tree branch and they hoist Randal up. Police sirens are heard, and they all take off, and I laugh. Randal drops to the ground, and there’s a shoot out.

I hope someone picked up the baby. Everyone runs everywhere and everyone is shooting. Steven and Lushion are there too. It’s a total free-for-all. Eddie shoots Rusty in the back (good riddance), and then acts like he was after them the whole time. He starts yapping about Andrew being missing like he’s concerned. Man, I hope Randal spills the beans on that a-hole. Brad drives up. Why not?

Someone did pick up the baby. Virginia is in the boat, out on the lake, holding the baby over the water by one of his feet. Alex cries and screams. Lushion says take the shot, and an officer shoots.

Season finale.

Below Deck

Kate video chats with Ro. She thinks the other stews are being lackadaisical because it’s the end of the season, but if they want the last tip, she says they have to do the last few days of work.

Kelly is upset about Captain Lee feeling he’s not up to the task of his job.

Ben says it was nice to become more comfortable with Emily, so I guess their friend date went well.

Kyle and Nico talk about Ashley coming to visit. Nico asks if Kyle told her about asking Sierra out. Kyle says he did, but Ashley took it well and just thought Sierra was an idiot. Hmm… I think there was more to the conversation than that.

Time for hearing about the next guests. Dawn is the primary, with a group of former models who all have a lifestyle blog together. Their only requirements are a photo shoot and a thank you dinner for Dawn. Kate says there’s a lot of potential for Kelley. In his interview, he says he has experience with older women and knows what the ladies like and it’s him. He talks about being 26 and dating a 42-year-old. Oh yeah? When I was 19, I dated a 40-year-old.

The crew gets the boat ready,and Captain Lee asks Kelley to assemble the deck crew. He wants to end things on a positive note. He says this charter should be a piece of cake. He tells Kelley to give the guests guidance – away from using the pool, which has been troublesome all season. He tells them to use Kate’s playbook. If Ben doesn’t have something, she steers the guests away from it. Nico translates that to causing someone to believe something when they don’t actually believe it.

Kate compares the crews’ radios to egg babies. She says Sierra and Emily have been great all season, but they suddenly have senior-itis. In her interview, Sierra wonders where this is coming from. Emily seems puzzled too, but I’m not. I don’t blame Kate when she couldn’t even take a break last charter because the captain had to hunt down indoor help.

Ben rubs Emily’s shoulders as Kate radios for her. See? They kis,s and Kate radios that they’re all fired, hoping to get someone’s attention. It’s not just Emily though. Everyone is leaving their radios everywhere. The crew gets ready to greet the guests. Kelley asks Kate for advice about the pool, and she suggests he say it’s more for babies and older people. Good one. The captain tells them to act like they’ve done this before.

Kate does the boat tour. Ben gets lunch ready. The guests are dressed beautifully. Lots of paisley in bright colors. The Valor shoves off. The guests consult their photographer. Kate says the guests are so happy, it’s annoying, but with every beverage served, she’s that much closer to freedom.

Kelley and Nico talk to the guests about the toys. Kelley goes through the list, and downplays the pool. The ladies say definitely on the slide, and after that, he can choose. Ben is doing a quinoa dish “because models love that sh*t.” I do too, and I’m not a model. Now where’s that brownie chaser?

Ben tells Kate they should see if they can avoid having any arguments this charter. Kate suggests avoiding to keep from being annoyed. Yep. The Valor drops anchor. Kate finds Sierra’s radio in one of the guest bedrooms. She attaches the girls’ radios to them. In her interview, Kate says they say brains and beauty are a hard combination to find, and Sierra is very pretty, so pretty…

Lunchtime! Next to seeing how much the tip is, my favorite part of the show is to eat vicariously. Emily and Ben flirt in the galley. In his interview, he’s not sure if they’re “an item,” but he knows he likes her. In her interview, Kate says she appreciates the budding romance that is Bemily, but they still have to focus on work.

Dawn makes a toast about women inspiring women. Kate says she feels like she’s in a Lifetime movie. In her interview, she says being an independent woman isn’t sitting on a yacht talking about independence, but I dunno. It can be. The guests talk about giving back.

Emily and Sierra tidy the rooms. Kelley talks to Ben, who thinks it’s been a great season. Kelley does some weird dance and says he’s letting loose. Kate looks on skeptically, and slightly disapproving.

Captain Lee is happy with the team of Nico and Kelley. The guests use the slide, and it looks like a load of fun. Sierra tells Emily that she feels disrespected, but she doesn’t want to make a big deal since it’s the last charter.

A glorious sunset happens, and Ben gets dinner ready. Kyle doesn’t like the way Sierra eats dinner. More radio hyjinks. Kyle gets sulky when Sierra touches his radio and he thinks she’s accusing him of taking hers. She calls him a child, and he calls her an f-ing idiot. Nice. She complains to Emily that he’s petty. In her interview, she says he’s still holding a grudge because she wasn’t into him. They start to argue and Nico tells them to knock it off, reminding them that it’s the last charter.

Kelley tells Kyle to be a man and fix it. Big baby Kyle doesn’t want to apologize, saying Sierra is a psychopath, and that she probably has an ex-boyfriend’s body parts stashed away. I’m speechless yet again tonight.

The photographer leaves, and the ladies sit down to dinner. Kyle complains to Kelley about Sierra, but Kelley tells him that in confined places, they have to get along. Kelley tells Sierra that it was her delivery that was wrong. She says every time she deals with him, it’s an unpleasant encounter and she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore. Kelley says she’s being rude right now. She says she only has a problem with him and Kyle, and Kelley says just let it go. He and Kyle complain about her as soon as she leaves.

Sierra tells Kate about Kyle’s reaction to her picking up his radio. In her interview, Kate says the only thing she has time for is the job they’re supposed to be doing. Sierra says Kelley will probably apologize now. Kelley overhears and says not this time. He tells her that he was actually trying to get Kyle to apologize to her when she went off on him.

Dinner is served. Chilean sea bass. I’m in. The women cheer Ben’s food. Kate tells Ben they want to meet him, so he comes up along with the dessert. More applause and accolades. And hugs. The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. Truth.

Lauren and Nico talk about yachting. Kyle talks about Sierra being mental. Lauren thinks Kate is a sh*t stirrer. Ben can’t sleep. He tells Kate that he doesn’t have much anxiety though. He says Kate’s been nicer to him, and she says it’s because she’s been avoiding him. Ha-ha! In his interview, Ben says Kate is an easy person to work with. Like Attila the Hun.

The guests have breakfast and the stews are supposed to be tidying the cabins, but Sierra is busy scarfing down some toast. Kelley thinks the deckhands are just getting into stride and the stews are falling apart. One of the guests bothers Captain Lee and wants to see the anchor come up, so he palms her off on Kelley.

Kate tells Ben how much time they have left down to the second. She says oddly enough, she’s least annoyed with him out of everyone. Sierra complains about the deckhands asking her to do their chores. Kelley gets notified and relays a complaint from Kate. Kate says that just because these guests aren’t Dean, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get Dean service. Ben jokes that he’d planned on giving them bad service tonight. In his interview, he says Kate is there to spoil everyone’s day again.

The guests are going to the Baths on the mainland. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds great. The deckhands put snorkeling gear in the small boat, and Kate makes a cocktail for the guests before departure. She loves when they go to the Baths because they’re gone for a solid three hours. Kate finds two of the guest bathrooms have no toilet paper, and I’d be livid if I was her. That’s a huge no-no when you’re paying that much money. I wouldn’t expect that from a Day’s Inn. She discusses the situation with Sierra and Emily, and tells them to shiny up the rooms. After they leave, Kate complains to Ben.

In her interview, Sierra thinks she’s worked hard all season, and this is bullsh*t.

Next time, the season finale (sniff), Ben wants to be naughty, Kyle proposes to Ashley, and Ben doesn’t want to work with Kate anymore.

✈  Ladies of London is back. Joan Collins Sophie is now a full cast member. Julie has the tremendous task of taking over her husband’s family’s estate. She’s feeling the pressure of eventually becoming the Countess of Sandwich. I’m not making that up. She’s concerned that if she fails at this task, it will be a black mark against all Americans. Marissa is pregnant. It’s a girl with a side of complications, and has to come into the world two months early. Caroline #1 has turned 40, and since losing her business last season, is basically a housewife. She and her husband are moving to Dubai. Sister-in-law Alexis Carrington Sophie and Caroline’s brother are getting divorced, although that hasn’t interfered with their friendship. Caroline #2‘s father has cancer, causing her to divide her time between Denmark and England. In the first episode, there’s already an altercation between Caroline #1 and Julie, with kibitzing from Juliet, probably because Caroline is jealous of Julie’s friendship with her almost ex-SIL. I’ll keep you mini-posted.

November 28, 2016 – Everyone into the Rehab! Drunken Mistakes on GH & Drunken Arguments at SUR

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nell tells Sonny that she thinks Jax just wants to help Carly. She tells him she saw them kissing and probably misinterpreted it. Sonny asks the same question I do – how can you misinterpret that?

Carly thanks Jax for his Thanksgiving help. Josslyn asks if he can make dinner again on Christmas. He suggests taking her to Australia for the holiday, but she says that would be two more people for Carly to miss.

Jordan confronts Andre about answering her phone and telling Curtis to leave her alone.

Curtis asks Valerie if she’d join him when her shift is over for drinks and an apology.

Jason and Sam are out for ice cream. Sam tells Jason about how Alexis went out for whipped cream, but then texted her saying that she was with Diane who’d had a fight with Max. Jason thinks Sam isn’t buying Alexis’s story.

I laugh again when we revisit Alexis hitting the accelerator instead of backing up, sending Julian into the air. I can’t help it. It just doesn’t look real. Alexis can’t believe what she just did and gets out of the car. She makes a phone call when Julian won’t answer her.

Jax gets a phone call. While he’s talking in the hallway, Carly tells Josslyn not to pressure him. He rejoins them, saying that his mother is sick, and he has to fly back to Australia.

Nell tells Sonny that Jax is walking around like the man of the house, and he’s spending the night. Sonny asks if he’s sleeping with Carly. Well, actually he says “my wife.”

Andre tells Jordan that he did answer her phone. She says she has voicemail, so that was unnecessary. She asks if he told Curtis to leave her alone, and Andre admits it. He says Curtis had already riled her up, and he thought he was doing her a favor. She asks if he’s out of his mind. Seriously.

Curtis tells Valerie that he knows he made a mistake, but they had a good thing going. He tells her he’s not working for Julian anymore and wants to make things right. He entices her with Thanksgiving football, as friends, but she says they’re not friends anymore.

Sam tells Jason about how Alexis seemed to be looking for an excuse to leave. She says ever since Julian was acquitted and Alexis lost her license, Alexis has been lost. Sam amends it, and says she’s probably worried about nothing, and tells him about Alexis possibly getting her license back after the new year.

On the phone, Alexis says there’s been an accident, and tells Julian not to die on her. Man, I would have just gotten the hell out of there and let him rot. I also think Alexis called Jax first, although he’s giving a really poor excuse that can easily be found out.

Curtis asks Valerie for a Thanksgiving truce, but she says he’s not really sorry about anything. She says he is who he is, and he’s not going to change. They’re done.

Jordan tells Andre that the phone call was about a case, and Curtis was calling her out of respect. Andre says Curtis doesn’t respect anything. He asks if Curtis pounced on telling on him. She says just the opposite; she was trying to find out what happened with the case on his end. Andre tells her that if she can’t see how much aggravation he causes, Curtis wins. Remind me not to call Andre if I need therapy.

Curtis thanks Sam for including him in dinner. He asks if they can talk shop for a second. They set Danny up with some coloring and step away.

Alexis keeps yelling at Julian to answer her while the ambulance takes ten hours to get there. She asks why he didn’t just leave her alone. She hears the sirens and tries to pull herself together. She says she can’t stay. She tells Julian he’ll be fine and jets. I’ll bet she’s a lot more sober than when she got in the car before. I was actually hoping she’d make the same mistake again, but back over him this time. Didn’t happen.

Jax tells Carly and Josslyn that he didn’t get any details, but he was told he should get to the hospital right away. Josslyn asks if she should come with him, but he says to let him see what’s going on first. Josslyn goes upstairs. Jax says he hates leaving right now, but Carly says she understands. He tells her to try and find some kind of happiness. He hopes it doesn’t involve Sonny, but tells her that she has to do what she has to do. She thanks him for not feeding into her issue confusion.

Nell tells Sonny she can’t say for sure what bed Jax is sleeping in. She says Jax asked her to book a suite at the hotel, but then decided to stay at Carly’s. Sonny says, of course.

Andre tells Jordan that maybe he overstepped, but he was coming from a good place. Jordan says he could have at least told her that Curtis called. She doesn’t need someone to make her decisions for her, and she thinks he’s feeding her a line of crap.

Curtis, Jason and Sam agree that the truck that blocked the view from the mini-mart camera wasn’t supposed to be there. Sam checked with the store and there were no deliveries scheduled. Curtis asks if they would mind doing some work even though it’s still the holiday in Port Charles.

Alexis gets back to her house, but no one is there. She relives the moment, and heads for the liquor.

Ava runs into the hospital. The nurse tells her they think it’s a hit and run.

Jax gets to Alexis’s. She’s glad to see him. Told ya! I ain’t been watching this 50 years for nuthin’.

Carly sees the Thanksgiving call from Sonny on her phone.

Sonny asks Nell to make him a drink. He says when Carly is hurt, she hurts herself even more, but he can’t criticize because he does it too. He says that’s how they got together, and before they loved each other, they hated each other. They were both hurt and one thing led to another. It was mutual self-destruction, but they learned to love each other and that’s how Morgan came to be. He was everything good about them, and now he’s gone, and now his wife is sleeping with Jax. Nell gives him a scotch and he slugs it down.

Andre asks what Jordan wants. She wants an apology and for him to understand what he did wrong. Sounds reasonable.

Curtis tells Jason about his conversation with Julian. He says that Julian claimed not to know Jessup, and then fired him. Jason tells him that Jessup has been dead for 20 years.

Carly tells Josslyn that Sonny had nothing to do with the bomb, and Jason is going to prove it. Josslyn asks if she’s going to forgive Sonny and take him back now.

Nell has a drink too, since no one should drink alone. Uh-huh. Sonny says there’s always trouble when Jax is around. Nell shuts off his phone and messes around with the family photos (?) while Sonny drunkenly prattles on about Jax. He wants to go punch Jax out, but Nell stops him, reminding him about his angle monitor. She tells him not to let Jax be the reason he goes back to prison. He says he’s not going anywhere, she is. He says he can take care of himself, and she should go home. Nell says he needs some rest, and offers to help him upstairs. Another uh-huh, along with an uh-oh.

Jax wants to know what’s going on with Alexis, saying he hardly recognizes her. He sees blood on her blouse, and she says she’s done something awful. She says she may have killed Julian.

Ava visits Julian, who’s hooked up to all kinds of tubes. He’s conscious, and she tells him that he’s in the hospital, explaining that he was in an accident. He doesn’t remember anything though. She asks how he feels, and he says like he’s going to die. She insists he’d better not die on her. She asks her to call everyone so he can see them one last time. She says she’ll call, but they’re survivors and remember that. Geez, for someone on pain meds, he sure is a downer. He tells her he didn’t get back into the business because of her.

Alexis tells Jax it was an accident; she put the car in the wrong gear. He asks if she was drunk, and she says she’d been drinking. He tells her leaving the scene of an accident is a serious offense, like she doesn’t know. She’s worried that Julian died after she left, and asks him to find out.

Valerie stops by Julian’s room to ask questions. Ava says the meds kicked in, but she thinks it was another attempt on Julian’s life by the same person who planted the bomb.

Jax tells Alexis that Julian is in serious, but stable condition, and expected to recover. Dammit! Jax wonders about the bartender, but Alexis says he didn’t see anything. Jax says he can testify to how many drinks she had. He asks what if it had been him or one of her daughters, and says to let this be her rock bottom. He wants her to check into rehab. She says she’ll find a treatment center and check in tomorrow. He says tonight. She begs him to give her a chance to talk to the girls. She asks him to trust her, but he says he doesn’t trust her one bit. Good for him. Those guys on Intervention would be proud.

Sam says the name that was on the van isn’t an existing company. Curtis thanks them and leaves. Sam is concerned about Sonny and wants to stop by.

Andre says if Jordan wants to talk more they can do it at home. She says they’re not going anywhere together.

Nell gets Sonny upstairs. She tells him he’ll be all right, and starts to take his shirt off. Sonny tells her she’s a good girl and lies down on the bed.

Jordan slams out of Kelly’s and Curtis approaches her. She says whenever there’s a problem, he’s involved, and he says she’s done a number on his life too.

Jax agrees to let Alexis wait. No, Jax, no! We all take back our pride in him. He says he’ll be checking on her later, and don’t make regret this. He leaves, and she looks at the liquor bottles.

Carly tells Josslyn that Sonny sounded lonely on the voicemail. She says he’s lost a child too. She’s been trying to stay angry and not see his side, but when she heard his voice, it touched her.

Sonny lies in bed. Nell says she’s sorry. She takes her clothes off and gets in with him, cuddling his arm.

Tomorrow, Molly asks Alexis where she’s been, someone sends Bobbie flowers, and Sonny wonders how he and Nell ended up sleeping together.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana’s brother, Jeremy, has moved in with her and Tom, and it’s pretty much trashed their sex life. Ariana, Tom, Lala and Jeremy are out for lunch. They check out Lala’s range rover. Lala is being questioned about where she gets her money, but she says it’s nobody’s business. Truth. She tells them about James’s shared penthouse, and how she helped him make it less mannish for his girlfriend who is coming. They discuss James testing Lisa’s patience.

James has decorated his place with some welcome home stuff for his new girlfriend, Raquel. They’ve been seeing each other long distance, but she’s home for the summer. She’s a pageant queen who works with children, and I’m wondering if James is another charity case. Oh, I take it back, she’s just stupid. She wonders why people don’t like him. He claims it’s because they’re jealous. I’m always jealous of drunks who get in physical altercations while they’re working.

Stassi, Kristen and Katie are out drinking. Kristen is getting veneers put on, so I guess this is a good-by party for her old teeth. They talk about Scheana and Katie says she’s constantly saying Katie said things she didn’t.

Scheana and Brittany are at work, and Scheana is accusing Katie of the same thing. Lala comes in and they talk about the party happening in the outside area at SUR. Scheana brings up being Katie’s friend, and says talking with Lala makes her uncomfortable.

Kristen gets a text from Scheana who tells her about not talking to Lala. Stassi is proud of her, but thinks she should have done it earlier. She thinks it’s going to come up again and Katie thinks they should have a confrontation conversion about it.

Lisa meets with manager Diana, who asks how long they’re going to tolerate James. She says he’s coming in drunk, screaming and yelling, and disconnecting the music when he shouldn’t be. Lisa says if she can get definitive evidence that he’s drinking on the job, it’s all she needs.

Schwartz is late for the doctor. He says he’s having premarital heebie-jeebies, so he’s sought professional help. What? He says he feels like he’s going behind Katie’s back and talking about her. He says when she loses control and goes to the dark side, it scares him, but in her mind, he doesn’t have her back. He tells us that they have chronic falling outs, and alcohol is usually the catalyst. We flash back to some of them. He feels like he hasn’t been able to express how it “kills the Schwartz” when she does this. The therapist gives him homework – a discussion with Katie about what’s behind her rage. She asks if he’s ready to make a committment. There’s a cricket moment, but he says he’s sure about getting married. I’m not. He sounds like a big baby, although I think that’s already been established in previous seasons.

Jax gives Lisa a heads up that Scheana and Lala were going at it, although they weren’t really. Scheana comes in, and Jax says she can explain. Lisa tells her it’s their work place and they all need to knock it off. Scheana says Katie gets mad because she doesn’t hold grudges along with her. Lisa reminds her again that she’s at work. Jax tries to interject, and Lisa calls him out on being a sh*t stirrer.

Schwartz gets home, and Katie is coloring while she has some wine. The new happy hour. He tells her that he went to the therapist. He tries to explain that when she goes to the dark side, it pushes him away. He wonders if some of the things she says when she’s angry have a nugget of truth in them. In her interview, she says she needs him to be a support system and he doesn’t listen. (Yeah, Katie, it’s called being a guy.) Katie says he just dropped a bomb on her, and he says this isn’t going the way he wanted it to. In his interview, Schwartz says the therapist should have told him not to bring a knife to a gunfight. Schwartz tells Katie there are no doubts on his end, and he’s happy and excited. She’s kind of not having it though, and shoves what looks like lettuce with ranch dressing into her mouth.

Brittany asks Jax to clean the fish tank. He says he’s happy to be supportive, but wants a minute to have a sandwich when he gets home. He finds out they’re scheduled at the same time tonight, and wonders if James is working too. He wants to beat the crap out of him. While explaining this in her interview, Brittany has a continuous wardrobe malfunction where her shirt keeps popping open.

Kristen is back from the dentist and feeling fine. Time to drink. Katie tells her and Stassi about Schwartz’s therapist appointment, and how he said he’s scared of her when she drinks. Stassi says it’s just human emotion and the way women are. Scheana shows up with more champagne. She and Kristen discuss dentistry. Katie wants her to elaborate on the text she sent Kristen. Scheana tells Katie to have some faith in her. Katie doesn’t want Scheana to think she’s being combative. She says it’s not a huge issue, just something that doesn’t sit well with her. She’s afraid if she communicates, Scheana will think she’s coming at her. Kristen tells her she’s a little sensitive. In her interview, Scheana says she feels like it’s always three against one. Stassi says from now on, they confront each other in a constructive way when there’s an issue, even if they’re drinking. That should go well.

James says he knows Lisa told him not to drink before work, but doesn’t think it’s a big issue to be “a bit buzzy.” Brittany is trying to work on memorizing the wine list. Another server, Gigi, talks about having problems with James and how he called her a whore because she didn’t want to go out with him after finding out he had a girlfriend. Brittany asks if his girlfriend knows. She says no, and Jax says he will now.

Jax tells Tom and Ariana what James is saying about Gigi, and they think it’s similar to what he did to Lala when Brittany came to town. We flash back and they’re right. Lala asks James if he’s been hooking up with other chicks, and says Gigi has been telling on him. James denies everything. Jax happens to be walking by and adds his two cents. James asks why a man of his age cares. Jax says that James thinks he’s a rock star and anyone can just plug in a turntable. Oddly, it doesn’t end up with them punching each other. Yet.

Schwartz tells Tom that he left therapy feeling good, but when he tried talking to Katie, it didn’t work out very well. In his interview, he says Katie doesn’t want Ariana to be a bridesmaid for several reasons, including her friendship with Lala, but he’s going to make her a groomsman. Okay, and then he wonders why Katie doesn’t think he has her back. He consistently does things that go directly against how she feels when he’s well-aware of it.

James confronts Gigi. He acts like nothing ever happened. She says he’s always drunk and has no talent. Ha-ha! Diana tells them to both stop it, and Gigi tells her that James is drunk. Lala is glad the rumors aren’t swirling around her this time.

Diana wants to talk to Lisa outside. She says James is obnoxious. When she came in, he was yelling and flapping his arms, and everyone was looking. Lisa asks James what’s going on. He says nothing and she’s not buying it. He says there’s drama with bitches and she tells him not to talk like that. He asks why. She tells him he’s turning into an a-hole right before her eyes. She tells him he doesn’t understand what a civilized conversation is. He says he doesn’t appreciate her feeding in to what everyone is telling her. She says he’s not Calvin Harris. She tells him that when he’s creating a problem and raising his voice at her business, he needs to stop talking, but he continues to argue with her. She tells him to go spin his little disks and shut up, because she’s close to telling him to go home. In her interview, she says they’ve given him a million chances and this is how he repays them.

Outside during their break, Schwartz asks Ariana to be a groomsman. He says there’s a catch though. He tells her about the dinner he made for Jax and Tom and gives her some leftovers. We flash back to how he had put the food in and around a certain body part before cooking it. He tells her it’s official now.

James approaches Tom at the bar. Man bun alert! James suggests they have a shot, and Tom says only if he’s going home, since he wants him to keep his job. James claims everything is cool. Lisa sees them and tells James to go back to the booth. She tells Tom this is crazy, and he has to put his foot down. Ken takes James outside and says he’s drunk and getting one warning. James starts crying. Ken tells him he’d best not disrespect Lisa and they both tell him to go home.

The next day, James comes to Lisa’s to apologize. She asks what he has to say for himself and wonders what happened to the guy she knew. She tells him he’s turned into a drunken a-hole. He asks what to do. She says he’s not working for her any longer, and not coming into SUR or PUMP. He tells her that it’s crazy, and she says she’s given him more chances than anyone else would have. She tells him he needs to sober up. He starts crying (omg – these baby men) and says it’s hard. She says he should never have another drink in his life, and tells him to go. In her interview, Lisa says she did what she could. She’ll always support James, but refuses to enable him.

Next time, Tom tells Jax that he’s an instigator, Lala confronts James, and Katie and Schwartz argue. Basically, nothing new.

November 23, 2016 – A Very GH Thanksgiving

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Whatever Dillon is looking for (I missed it) is gone and a ransom note is in its place, instructing him to go to the Quartermaine living room or whatever they call it in a mansion. Monica’s tennis racket has met the same fate, as well as Ned’s gold record. Dillon wonders who would take their most cherished items. Tracy enters and says they’ll get them back after they celebrate Thanksgiving as a happy family.

Laura calls Lulu. We actually hear her on the other end of the phone, which I don’t think has ever happened before. She’s going to be late. Dante gets a call from Sonny, who says he’s fine and getting used to the accessory. Dante tells him not to mess around with it, and I have visions of him putting it on the family dog. If they had one. He asks if Sonny wants them to bring him some dinner, but Sonny thinks Lulu wouldn’t be too happy if they left. And besides, he’d rather just drink. He doesn’t say that, but it’s obvious that his Thanksgiving meal is going to consist of bourbon in a short glass. Sonny tells Dante to celebrate with his family, but Dante doesn’t like him being alone.

Carly forgot it’s Thanksgiving, but Nell has gone shopping for dinner.

Sonny tells Dante that he has plenty to keep him busy with the games on TV. Dante says he knows things are hard right now, but they’re family, so if Sonny needs him, just call. Sonny opens the door and Laura is standing there. Surprise!

Alexis asks Julian what he’s doing at the dive bar. I see the name of it is Gene’s not Gent’s, making me wonder if I need glasses. Julian tells her not to let let him stop her, and she says she wouldn’t dream of it.

Tracy asks if they thought they could skip out on a family Thanksgiving. Ned says how dare he forego pizza and her nagging? She insists they’re having turkey with all the fixings. Dillon says it always ends in disaster, and Ned asks if she’s serious. Dillon gets drinks and Monica gets the pizza menu.

Carly apologizes, and Michael says she doesn’t have to be so strong all the time. Josslyn tells her that everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes, even moms. Jax has cooked all of her favorites. Man, send that guy over here.

Laura apologizes for not coming to see Sonny sooner. (Say that three times real fast.) She doesn’t want to intrude, but it’s not like Sonny has anything going on. She says that Dante and Lulu would love to come by, and he says he just talked to Dante. He can’t go anywhere and Laura says it’s a hard time. He says he talked to Spencer, who told him that he’s going to be president of his class. Laura tells him that Spencer created the position. Ha-ha! She says there’s still a lot to be grateful for. He says the holiday is a reminder of what you’re missing. She says if anyone would know how she feels, it’s him.

Alexis orders a double. She tells Julian he’s in her space and he’s violating a court order. He says he’ll get out of her space as soon as he calls Sam and tells her what’s on Alexis’s menu. I wonder if Alexis forgot she went out for whipped cream already because I did until he said that.

Lulu is in cahoots with Dante and Doc about a surprise. Maxie asks if they’re breaking up again.

Jax promises that Carly will be dazzled by his culinary skills. Carly wants to double-check things in the kitchen, but he won’t let her. The doorbell rings. It’s Olivia. She has some paperwork to give Carly, and is surprised that she isn’t with Sonny.

Sonny tells Laura it’s his own fault he’s alone. She asks if that’s what Morgan would want, and says whether he likes it or not, he has people who care about him. She tells him that some of them might be scattered right now, but when they come back, let them in, don’t push them away. The death of a child isn’t something anyone should endure alone.

Alexis tells Julian that tattling on her is rich. He asks how she’s going to explain that she prefers the company of barflys to her family. She says his repeated attempts to kill her would drive anyone to drink, and he asks if she’s finding answers at the bottom of a glass. She asks him what’s the big deal, and he asks her why she’s hiding it. She says she doesn’t have to answer to him or his creepy texts. He says what it amounts to is stopping her downward spiral.

Tracy is happy that everyone is together, but sorry Finn and Hayden couldn’t join them. She’s researched fun activities for Thanksgiving, and asks if anyone would like to play a board game. Ned tells her the June Cleaver act is too weird. Dillon cries extortion. Tracy says she was just trying to do something good after a crummy year, and here’s their stuff back. She tells them there’s a lizard she’d rather spend the holiday with. I assume she’s referring to Roxie, but I’m not positive.

Laura shows up at Lulu’s and Maxie tells her they have to keep Dante and Lulu from breaking up. Dante says they’re not breaking up, they’re getting married.

Michael says he knows his mom is happy to have the family around. Nell says even if Sonny isn’t there? Carly tells Olivia that Sonny isn’t responsible for the bomb that killed Morgan. Olivia says this changes everything. Sonny did what she asked. She tells Carly to think of all the people who’ve asked him to change his ways. He wouldn’t do it for any of them, but he did it for her. She sees that Jax is there and tells them to have a good holiday.

Sonny drinks alone. He thinks back to Carly telling him she loved him. He brings up her number on his phone and stares at it for a while before calling. Nell sees who’s calling and is about to get Carly, but sees her hugging Jax.

Alexis tells Julian her life is a mess and she feels like she’s falling apart. Sam is happy and she doesn’t want her bothered. She says he’s right, she knows she’s drinking too much, but don’t make a bigger deal out of it than it is. She asks to keep it between them and puts her hand over his.

Lulu tells everyone that she and Dante are getting married today. She says they have everything they need, even an officiant. Doc is now an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church online. Maxie says she wishes she’d thought of it. Olivia comes running in and asks what she missed.

Tracy says she doesn’t want to spend Thanksgiving with people who are just waiting for it to be over. Monica suggests she drop the word normal from the conversation. She says it’s important for them to stick together, and Ned thanks Tracy. Dillon tells her happy Thanksgiving.

Nell considers answering Carly’s phone. Sonny leaves a message. He says their children are lucky to have a mom like her. Nell eavesdrops on Carly and Jax. Carly says maybe she’s not being fair to Sonny. Nell starts to leave and Michael catches her, asking where she’s going.

Julian asks Alexis what she’s doing. He says she needs help, and maybe she should talk to someone. When Julian is the voice of reason, you know something is wrong. He suggests Diane or Jax, and says she can always talk to him. She says she’d rather die. She says she’s never turning to him for anything again. She says she might have a problem, but he has a bigger one. He says she thinks she knows everything about him. She says she knows his children hate him and she hates him, but she has a family that loves her and she’s getting her career back. He says he worries about her prospective clients.

Michael asks if Nell is taking off. She says she has a friend who’s alone, so she made plans with them. She leaves.

Carly asks Jax if it’s wrong to grieve Morgan together with Sonny. Jax says she’s talking about getting back together with him, to be careful.

Olivia calls Ned. She’s shocked they’re having turkey instead of pizza. Monica can’t believe it’s really happening. Tracy says Cook used a special brine. Ned says it doesn’t smell like turkey, like they’d know. Monica stops them from eating. She says she noticed a full container labeled “brine” in the refrigerator and an empty container labeled “bacteria” on the counter and goes to get the pizza menu. Maybe Cook needs a vacation.

Lulu is wearing a gorgeous deep red strapless gown and carries matching flowers. Doc starts the ceremony.

Dillon thanks Monica for saving them from being poisoned.

Lulu says she’s learned that falling in love and taking vows is just the beginning. Love requires work and dedication. She says she’ll take care of Dante and Rocco, keep them safe, and love them today and every day.

At the Quartermaines, they go around the table saying what they’re thankful for. Tracy is thankful for GH’s resurrection. Ned is thankful for her filling Edward and Lila’s shoes.

At Carly’s place, Jax is thankful for everyone in his life. Josslyn thanks them for being her parents, Michael for teaching her to ride a bike, and Morgan for teaching her that if she falls down, she can get back up. Michael is thankful for his family – those who are here and those who can’t be. He asks if Carly has anything to say, and she sees Sonny in place of Jax on the couch.

Dante and Lulu exchange vows and rings. Doc pronounces them husband and wife.

Carly says she’s grateful for all of them, and wonders where Nell is. Michael says there’s someone she needed to see. At Sonny’s place, he opens the door to find Nell there.

The pizza arrives, and Dillon says it’s really Thanksgiving now. Tracy says it feels like they’re forgetting something, and they sing We Gather Together, almost making me cry. Ned leaves a slice of pizza by Edward and Lila’s picture and I lose it.

Nell tells Sonny she felt out of place at Carly’s, and he invites her in. Sonny says Carly has Michael to lean on, and Nell says, and Jax.

Michael and Josslyn go to the kitchen to slice the pie, and Carly thanks Jax. He says Nell did the shopping, and Carly says she’s really good to them.

Sonny is like, what? and Nell says she probably misunderstood. He asks if something happened between Jax and his wife.

Carly tells Jax that she thought she knew how she felt about Sonny, but now she’s not sure.

Nell tells Sonny that it was probably nothing. Carly is in a lot of pain, and Jax is just there to help her. Sonny gets loud and says she has to tell him right now. She says she saw them kissing. Sonny looks for the family dog. Just kidding.

Julian asks another bar patron for his phone, telling him his companion is in no condition to drive, but when he turns around, Alexis is gone. She jets through the parking lot and gets into her car. Julian runs after her, telling her not to drive. He stupidly stands in front of the car, and instead of backing up, she hits the accelerator. God help me, I laugh when he flies up in the air.

Tomorrow, a rerun from Thanksgiving 2014; On Friday, football; On Monday, Jordan asks Andre if he kept Curtis’s call from her, Sonny asks Nell if Jax is sleeping with his wife, and Alexis tells Julian not to die on her instead of just getting the hell out of there.

📻 Little Women: LA is done for the season, and Bravo has reruns tonight. There’s a new show on Lifetime called Little Weddings that I’m going to check out. Little Women: Dallas is only half-promising. It started off well, but is already degenerating into a little battleground.

🏈 Hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving and that no one mistakes the refrigerated bacteria for turkey brine. See you on Friday for Z Nation. SyFy is also having a Z Nation marathon before the new episode.

November 21, 2016 – A Search for Justice on GH, Too Many Butts at SUR & the OC Puts Us Out of Our Reunion Misery

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante gives Sonny’s file to Jordan. She wishes they had more evidence. Dante says it’s possible someone else could be responsible. Jordan says they discussed this, and asks if he can be impartial. He says he is, but she should stay open to other possibilities. She tells him that he’s off the case. So much for being open and actually wanting to get to the truth.

Hayden wakes up to Tracy standing near her bed. Tracy pretends she isn’t concerned, and says she’s just making sure Hayden doesn’t walk off with the silverware. Finn joins them, and Hayden tells him that she caught Tracy in the act of caring. She says she’s feeling almost 100% better and wants to go.

Dante asks Jordan if he’s impeded the case. Jordan says they can’t afford for it to be jeopardized. Michael joins them and asks if she’s going to railroad Sonny. He’s there to be supportive. Sonny is brought in, and says that it means more to him than Michael knows.

Nell asks Kiki how she’s doing. She amends it to being a stupid question. She says she saw Kiki at the funeral. Kiki says she’d give anything to change the way Morgan felt that night. He was a great guy and there was no one else like him. Nell says she could tell how special he was, and she hates that it’s tearing the family apart.

Jax tells Carly that they should stop making out, and Carly says no they shouldn’t. Jax says it isn’t right, and she says yes it is. She says he thought they were perfect for one another, and she didn’t see it at the time. He says she’s leaving Sonny out of the equation.

Jordan reminds Dante that he’s no longer on the case. Diane says that there is no case. Jordan says that Sonny confessed at the church, but Diane tells her that they were the words of a grieving father, and could be taken a hundred different ways. Sonny and company leave for court.

Kiki says she’s only hurting a fraction of what Sonny and Carly are, and when Sonny confessed, it was too much for Carly to handle. Nell says she can’t imagine how bad it must be for their solid marriage to collapse. Kiki says it’s not the first time, and Nell asks about their history.

Hayden says that she doesn’t feel sick. Finn says the antibiotics might have cured the underlying infection. He thinks it’s possible that the disease was caught early enough that it could have been eradicated. Hayden says she’s ready to leave, and Curtis pops in, saying he hopes not on his account.

Sam and Jason discuss who might have wanted to go after Julian. Besides a man who’s been dead for 20 years. Sam discovers that Oscar Jessup’s phone bill has been paid by an online account in China.

Jordan tells Sonny that she should have known his bout of conscience would be short lived. Diane has finagled house arrest for him, and Jordan says he stays cuffed until he gets home, which is just about the stupidest thing ever, and makes her seem vindictive. Jordan goes to get Sonny’s belongings. Sonny tells Dante that he believes what he said in the church. Dante says the evidence against him is pretty flimsy.

Kiki tells Nell that she thinks it’s the fifth time Sonny and Carly have been married (ha-ha! she thinks), but they always find their way back to each other. She believes if they focus on how much they loved Morgan, they can do it again. Nell asks what about Jax.

Jax reminds Carly that she’s still married to Sonny. She hurts and she wants someone to make her feel better; she wants comfort, even if it’s not from the best source. She apologizes, saying she didn’t know what she was thinking. She doesn’t want Jax to think she’s using him. He says the bottom line is that she’s grieving, and he’s fine with it. She says how embarrassing, and he says he’s here for her, just not like that.

Curtis introduces himself to Tracy. He says a mutual friend told him that Hayden was under the weather and he was in between jobs, so he stopped by. Finn suggests they let Hayden and Curtis talk. Curtis pretends he’s looking for work from Hayden, but she says she knows he cares. She says she’s fine now. Curtis says she’s as beautiful and feisty as ever, but not at her best. She says she doesn’t want Finn to feel any more guilty than he already does. Curtis wonders if she has a thing for Finn.

Tracy tells Finn she’s not buying his caring doctor act, and Finn acts ignorant. Tracy says he knows antibiotics can’t kill the underlying infection, and thinks he lied because he’s scared.

Hayden tells Curtis that she does not have a thing for Finn. He asks what’s really going on, and she says she’s really scared. Curtis says no little infection is going to get the best of her, and when he’s down with someone, he never gives up.

Finn tells Tracy that he’ll take whatever he can get as far as Hayden’s improvement goes. Tracy asks how he is, and he says fine – for now. She asks about the medication, and he tells her that he’s running low. Tracy asks what if he needs to share with Hayden, and he says he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

Curtis tells Hayden that for a homeless woman, she sure came up in the world. She says except for the life threatening illness, she has it made. He says she’ll beat it. Out in the hallway, Curtis thanks Finn, and says that he has Curtis’s number if he needs him. Tracy and Finn go back into Hayden’s room and she’s out of bed. She tells them she’s going to take a shower, so she’ll be presentable for her next accommodations.

Kiki tells Nell that Jax isn’t Sonny’s favorite person. Nell says exes can be like that, and he’s stuck with Jax because of Josslyn. She wonders if Jax and Carly will get back together. Kiki says Sonny and Carly think the same way, and are like a united force. She thinks they belong together and so did Morgan, and thinks Carly feels the same way. Nell says it was great talking to her, but she has to go to work.

Carly tells Jax that she loves her kids and would do anything for them. It’s the actions that count though, not the words. She justified being with Sonny in her head, telling herself that he was keeping them safe, and now look what happened. She says she should have walked away a long time ago. Jax tells her that you can’t choose who you love, but Carly says you can choose who you walk away from. She feels empty and wonders if the aching, gnawing pain will ever go away. Jax promises her it will, but in the meantime, he’ll be there to help, as a good friend who knows her inside and out.

The bell rings. It’s Dante. He says he just came from Sonny’s arraignment.

Diane deposits Sonny in his house. The officer uncuffs him. Sonny tells her, nice work. She says as much as she loves her retainer, she loves justice more, and believes he’s innocent.

Jason tells Sam that whoever planted the bomb was in the parking lot at the same time he was. He wonders if he saw something that isn’t registering. Sam asks about other business’s surveillance cameras. Curtis – who is just popping in out of the blue everywhere today – says, like the mini mart across the street? He says the store got everything on video and he has it on his phone.

Finn beats Tracy at Backgammon, and now she owes him a favor. He wants her to ask Hayden to stay. Tracy says Hayden can’t wait to get out. Finn tells her that all he wants is for her ask. She says she’ll run it by Monica.

Dante tells Carly that Sonny pled not guilty. He says whatever Jason told him had a big affect, and asks Carly if she knows what it was. She tells Dante to talk to Sonny, but he says Diane claimed he wasn’t talking. He tells Carly about Sonny getting bail and being placed under house arrest. Carly asks what happens now, and Dante says nothing, as long as Sonny stays put, and he’s wearing an ankle monitor.

The officer explains the conditions of the monitor to Sonny and tells him good luck. After he leaves, Sonny asks Diane if she can get him out of this mess, and Diane asks if he’s met her. She going to have the confession thrown out as the words of a grief stricken father. She’s not making light of it, but it’s a bonus, and by the time they go to trial, Jason should have uncovered more evidence. She tells him to call if he needs company. He thanks her for what she did for him. She leaves and Sonny looks grim.

Curtis tells Jason and Sam that Julian fired him. He’s in this for the truth, and if they combine forces, they can get to the bottom of it. He says they can look at the video, but a delivery van blocked the view of Julian’s car, so it’s another dead end.

Jax asks if Dante is okay with this, and Dante says things have changed. Nell comes in and Dante leaves. Nell gives Carly some work stuff and the guest book from Morgan’s funeral. She thinks Carly might appreciate the nice comments and memories of Morgan. Jax asks if Nell could book him a suite at the MetroCourt.

Sam tells Jason that she can see if the story checks out at the mini mart. Jason tells her to hang on, and takes Curtis aside. He wants to know why Curtis is so interested in helping. Curtis says he doesn’t like loose ends, and there was something strange about how Julian fired him. Jason suggests they work together.

Sonny enjoys a drink, saying he can’t get that in Pentonville. Nope, you can’t. The doorbell rings. It’s Dante who’s burning a lot of calories today, bouncing from place to place. Sonny asks if he’s there as a cop, and Dante says he’s there as his son.

Finn goes into Hayden’s room. She comes out in a towel and says she needs to get dressed. Finn gets flustered and leaves. He sees Tracy in the hallway, and she says Cook wants her to find out what Hayden’s favorite dish is. She says Monica gave her okay, so she’s also extending the invitation. Tracy enters Hayden’s room and asks if she’d like to stay. Finn answers his phone. The test results are back. He asks if Hayden is positive for the disease.

Hayden asks Tracy if this is a joke, but Tracy says she can stay as long as she likes. Hayden says no, but Tracy asks why she’s making it difficult. Hayden asks why she’d want to stay where she isn’t wanted. Tracy tells her that if she doesn’t, Finn will be mad at the both of them.

Finn gets the results and doesn’t look happy.

Curtis and Jason look at the tape and wonder if the car is blocked on purpose.

Sonny says Dante doesn’t have to worry about him. Dante says he knows it must be strange, and Sonny says it is what it is. Dante says he stopped by Carly’s place and Jax was there. He told her that Sonny was home, but all she said was thanks for letting her know.

To his surprise, Carly tells Nell that Jax will be staying at her place. Nell goes into the office, and Carly promises not to make any more moves on Jax.

At the bar, Michael asks Kiki if Nell is around, and Kiki says he just missed her. He tells Kiki about Sonny, and says that he wants Nell to keep an eye on him, since she’s babysitting Avery anyway.

Carly asks Jax if they can act like the kiss never happened, and he says no one needs to know. Well, Nell is going to know, because she’s eavesdropping, and probably taking notes.

Tomorrow, Alexis has good news, Lucy has the pills, and Thanksgiving begins. As usual, I wonder how the Quartermaines will end up having pizza.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh my Lord, if I have to hear Lala make that remark about no one having worked on their “summer bodies” one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind.

The girls (minus Ariana and Lala) gather for a lunch with Katie. Everyone has a balloon to pop, and there are papers inside asking them to be bridesmaids. Apparently Kristen has been waiting for this moment since she introduced Katie and Schwartz. Katie talks about how she met all of them.

Katie asks Brittany how it’s going with Jax. She thinks she’s finally gotten through to him, but Stassi suggests she take his credit card and buy what she wants. In her interview, Stassi says she now looks at Jax like an ape who has a really cool girlfriend. I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description. Katie gets sentimental, and Stassi says she’s not going to take any moments for granted anymore. Stassi asks about Ariana, but Katie says Ariana isn’t into the bridesmaid thing, and she didn’t want to put her on the spot to say no. In her interview, she adds that Ariana’s defense of Lala added to the decision making process. Stassi calls it the “dream team” and I gag a little. Wow. That’s a lot of bridesmaids. I had three.

At SUR, Lala asks James if he’s fired yet. He’s there to talk to Lisa and guesses he’ll find out. In his interview, James talks about people saying things about how many strikes he has, but since they don’t have baseball in England, he doesn’t comprehend the analogy. I think even if they did have baseball in England, he still wouldn’t comprehend it. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box.

Tom and Jax set up the bar for the evening ahead. They’re going to Schwartz’s after work. Jax brings up James’s altercation at PUMP, and hopes Lisa fires him for real this time. I’d give anything to eat at SUR and run into Lisa. Then I’d beg her to adopt me.

In her interview, Lisa says she’s heard a lot, but still doesn’t know what started the fight. She asks to talk to James in private. She tells him he’s upsetting her business. James is so delusional, he thinks that people see him winning and don’t like it. He really does think he’s a bigger deal than he is. He says he’s innocent in this, but Lisa says experience has taught her not to trust him. She says it’s difficult for her to keep him employed, and she’s given him more chances than he deserves. She says lucky for him, it looks like the other guy was the perpetrator, but if she catches him doing one wrong thing, he’s out. Or it’s his third strike as we say in America. In her interview, Lisa says if one person had said he was at fault, he would have been gone.

Commercial break. I get a Trader Joe’s maple walnut blondie and think this is the very reason I will never be as thin as these people. Never.

Scheana talks to Lisa about James, saying he’s a 24-year-old child. She says he can’t keep blaming his father for his own bad choices forever. At the bar, Ariana and Katie talk about James. Ariana asks James if everything is cool with Lisa. He says yes, and they high-five. In her interview, Katie calls James the worst version of a person humanity has to offer. Ha-ha! Ariana asks Katie how the wedding plans are going. Katie explains why she didn’t ask Ariana to be a bridesmaid, but dances around actually saying it. In her interview, Ariana says it might have been easier on her if she’d just come out with it. She tells Katie she’ll be involved where Katie wants her to be, whether she’s wearing a bridesmaid’s dress or not. Ariana seems like one of the most mature of the group, so I can’t fathom why she insists on being friends with Lala and James either.

Schwartz wants to cook Jax and Tom a nice dinner to show his appreciation for their friendship. They show up semi-formally dressed, but in flip-flops, as an homage to the many times they couldn’t get into a club because Schwartz was wearing them. Schwartz tells them about the prenup conversation. Tom thinks it’s a classic example of how lawyers make money, although he’s all for it. Schwartz tells them how much he appreciates everything they’ve done for him, and asks them to be groomsmen. His two to Katie’s ten. The dinner looks great and Jax says Brittany doesn’t even make him dinner like that.

They discuss old times and sleeping on air mattresses. Schwartz talks about how they hazed him for the first year he was in LA, and how he’s been looking for a way to make things even ever since. I take note that Tom didn’t eat his broccoli. Schwartz says it’s time to start repayment and gives them envelopes. They contain pictures of Schwartz’s butt with their food in and on it. He tells them that he also ran three miles beforehand and didn’t shower. In his interview, Tom says it’s Shakespearean in nature, like cutting up someone’s son and feeding it to him. Jax says the food was good, butt cheeks or no butt cheeks, and I’m shocked at how in stride they both take it. And I wonder if Katie realizes how immature Schwartz really is. Tom totally deserves this, if only for whatever the hell way he’s wearing his hair. It’s some kind of braid on the top of his head ending in a man bun.

Katie shops for invitations with Kristen and Stassi. Katie wants to send the invites on a tea towel, which is the coolest idea ever. When the clerk goes in the back, Katie tells the girls she’s having a housewarming party. In her interview, Stassi talks about how she and Patrick are heading toward their final break-up, and how all of the celebrations are difficult for her. After crunching the numbers, the clerk tells Katie that it comes out to about $18.50 an invitation. I think I spent that in total on mine. Okay, maybe it was a little more, but still.

Lisa checks out how things are going at PUMP. She asks James if he’s staying out of trouble and keeping his nose clean. I’ll bet that meant something totally different in the 80s. Lala tells Ariana that she feels badly about Scheana, since they used to be friends. She wants to talk with Scheana, and asks if she can have a minute. Lala wonders where they hit a point where they weren’t okay with each other. She says she realizes she’s been a bully and isn’t happy with herself. Scheana says she needs to talk to Katie. She says the things Lala has been saying about Katie are not cool.

Scheana tells Katie about Lala’s apology and how she defended Katie. We flash back to Lala’s interruption at Katie’s engagement party. Katie says she’s been hearing that Lala is dating a married man who’s been bankrolling her. She says she prefers to make money the old fashioned way. She means hard work for a paycheck, but I guess she doesn’t realize the irony that prostitution is called the world’s oldest profession.

Lala says human to human, she owes this bitch an apology. While Katie is on break outside, Lala sits down. She says she’s not there to argue, but to apologize for low blows she should have never made. She says Katie wants to throw rocks at her. Katie asks if she’s referring to being labeled a whore, and says she calls it as she sees it. After claiming to be in a committed relationship, Lala says they all say things they don’t mean, and she’d accept a apology from Katie. She denies having a married boyfriend, and says her parents still pay for a lot. Lala makes a snarky remark about Katie’s car, and Katie calls her an idiot and walks back into SUR.

Schwarz gripes about spending more money on a housewarming party, and tells Katie the invitations better not be more than five bucks a piece. She clues him in, and tells him it’s standard. He says standard idiocy. In his interview, he claims he could throw a decent wedding for three grand and that barely covers the invitations. I did one for five grand (including the honeymoon), but I had a lot of creative and generous friends, as well as it being quite a while ago. Katie tells Schwartz about Lala’s pseudo apology. She says that afterward, she saw Lala with Scheana looking friendly, and thinks Scheana had better watch her back.

The friends gather for the housewarming. Everyone brings presents. In her interview, Scheana says she and Shay are in a good place and he’s curbed the drinking. Jax talks to Tom about the bachelor party. He wants to get transvestites or transgenders. From where” The Yellow Pages? Google? Craigslist? Tom suggests a guy in drag. Jax debates that it’s the same thing, and while as usual he’s an idiot, I try to figure out how that’s different from a transvestite.

In the kitchen, Brittany asks Stassi whats’ wrong. Stassi says she’s embarrassed about her flip-flopping relationship. She says every time she tries to explain it, she doesn’t know what the problem is, even though they love each other. She starts to cry and Brittany hugs her. She says Stassi can call any time and she won’t judge her. She makes it all better by giving Stassi some of her vodka and soda.

Lala visits James. Lala tells him Katie wasn’t having it and he says she didn’t really accept his apology either. Neither one of them care, but Lala wonders where Katie is getting that she’s dating a married dude. In his interview, James says he doesn’t know who Lala is dating, but he’s staying out of it. They make fun of the hosuewarming party that they weren’t invited to. James tells Lala not to let them make her feel excluded. He talks about how his career is going to skyrocket.

The party is in full swing, meaning Katie can’t tell lemons from limes at this point. Jax and Peter discuss how Scheana’s butt has shrunk. Butts seem to be the theme tonight. Katie shows Stassi and Kristen the bedroom, which is done in industrial chic eclectic, which I don’t believe for one minute is a thing. Katie tells the girls about calling Lala out on her married boyfriend. In her interview, Stassi commends Katie on actually saying something out loud. Kristen calls Lala a sociopathic skank. Wow. She’s kind of right, although Lala still has a conscience. If she keeps ignoring it though, she’ll get there.

Scheana tells Jax about Lala’s apology tour, and how Katie told her if she’s dishonest in one area, how can she trust her in another? Ariana says Lala’s life is none of their business, but Scheana says if you lie about your life, how can anyone believe you about anything?

Stassi says she can’t even give Lala a hair flip in a bitchy way. She wants to pretend Lala does’t exist that much. Scheana comes in and the other two leave. Katie tells her that the privious night sat uneasy with her after she saw Scheana at the bar with Lala. Scheana says she was just there when Lala walked up and she doesn’t want to be friends with Lala. Katie says that now Lala is comfortable talking to Scheana, she feels weird about it. Scheana promises that she’s 100% supportive of Katie and suggests she go back to her own party.

Next time, Schwarz asks Ariana to be one of his groomsmen, Katie and Scheana argue, Jax and James argue at work, and Lisa calls James a drunken a-hole. Definitely worth the price of admission.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion – Part Three

We revisit the dune buggy accident in Glammis. Andy asks Tamra about feeling responsible and she says she still feels that way. Heather says she remembered Terry telling her to go limp if she’s ever in an accident. Good to know. Kelly says it was surreal, and talks about seeing the bar on top of Tamra. Tamra says she thought there was a body on her and was afraid to open her eyes. Andy brings up Shannon not going because of health reasons and Vicki questioning it in her blog. Shannon defends herself, citing several doctors.

Next “Hospitalgate” is discussed. We flash back to Shannon and Meghan acting like idiots, and the repercussions. Heather makes a stank face about Meghan revoking her hostess charter. Meghan says she didn’t realize it was as bad as it was. Heather says she told her exactly what happened, and brings up a text that Meghan sent afterward, agreeing that it must have been horrible. Andy asks if Meghan doesn’t think being airlifted to a hospital was important. Heather says there are certain criteria; they just don’t airlift anyone. Meghan says Vicki had lied about a lot of stuff, and Heather says it wasn’t Vicki telling her. It bothered her that the immediate human reaction wasn’t, what can I do? I tend to agree. It might be different if they hadn’t been out in the middle of nowhere and Vicki was by herself. I have actually stepped in to help someone I couldn’t stand because there was no one else available at the time.

A viewer asks why Heather and Kelly didn’t go to visit Vicki. Heather says she had one of her kids with her and was driving an RV. Meghan says to make a decision for herself is one thing, but to judge her is another. Tamra says regardless of what the past was, if someone is in an accident, you visit. Vicki chastises Andy for belaboring the point, and Shannon says she’s bossy. Andy asks if Shannon has met her, and Vicki tells her to get used to it. They talk about Briana saying that Vicki was overly dramatic while recovering. Tamra says Briana claimed that Vicki was taking her neck brace off when the cameras weren’t rolling. Vicki says Briana was very ill as well, and doesn’t think she totally grasped what was going on. Oddly enough, Heather comes to Vicki’s defense. We go over Meghan calling Tamra “reckless.” Heather apologizes for being hard on Meghan about it, but says that Meghan had been alking a lot of smack about her and wishes she’d come to her. They talk about hospital visitation some more and I mentally beg Andy to move on.

Finally. We go over some klutzy Vicki moments, like when she tripped and lost her nipple cover. Next is the Ireland trip and the same flash backs we’ve seen a dozen times. Zzzzzzz… The worst is how these women keep saying they weren’t trying to get Kelly drunk when they so obviously were. We end with the screaming match bus trip. Andy starts with the nose flick thing Kelly was doing. Kelly uses the famous it was a miscommunication excuse. Meghan says she feels Kelly was baited, but the whole thing was stupid. A viewer demands that Heather explain why she was carrying a flask of Fireball when she only drinks champagne. Heather claims she was just being funny. Too bad nobody ended up laughing.

Moving on to the dinner. Andy asks what Shannon’s motivation was in trying to get Kelly to drink. Shannon makes up some idiotic excuse. Andy asks why Tamra quietly asked the waiter to make doubles, but she never answers, and Shannon makes something else up. Vicki talks about how she warned Kelly, and Shannon gets so wound up that you’d think someone put a quarter into her. Her voice gets high and squeaky, and she rattles off a few times that Vicki encouraged Kelly to drink. Kelly says the dinner was 100% a set up.

Kelly does a perfect imitation of Shannon’s squeaky voice asking her why she wasn’t drinking. Andy talks about naked wasted, and says as a connoisseur of the show, it looked similar to him. Tamra says that was a million years ago. Shannon says it was before her time, and they looked bad, but there was no ill intent. Right.

Andy goes there. He asks Shannon about Vicki’s comment that David beat her. Shannon says in 2003 she called the police over a verbal argument that he wanted to end. Vicki says she’s fine with that, but not the lying. She says she has proof. Vicki says she didn’t want to do this, and Tamra gets loud and stupid. Vicki tells her to shut up, and she says no, you. Andy tells everyone to shut up, and let Shannon speak. Shannon says she and David went out to dinner. It was when she first found out about the affair, and either she had too much to drink or someone slipped something in her drink. She doesn’t remember what happened, but David found her blocks away. Shannon says most people will believe her because she’s told the truth, but now it’s out there and someone might approach her kids about it. She calls Vicki despicable, and says she’s never talking to her again, which seems fine with Vicki. She says she’d never stay in a marriage where the guy was beating her. Andy tries to slip in something about Briana accusing Brooks of hitting Vicki, but it gets lost in the confusion. Everyone starts talking at once and Shannon needs a minute.

She goes off crying and lapdog Tamra follows. Tamra tells Shannon that Vicki isn’t a nice person. They linger in front of the door, and a few people have to squeeze past. They all have bemused looks on their faces.

Andy asks if this is the secret Vicki had. Heather says it speaks to her character that she’d tell Kelly about it. Vicki says she didn’t want to bring it out, and Heather says if that was the case, she wouldn’t have said anything. Still in the hallway, Shannon babbles and Tamra says Vicki knows what she’s doing, and is just trying to bring them down. Heather says Vicki should apologize to Tamra, and Vicki gets loud, saying Tamra said worse things about her. Heather gets all schoolmarmish. Tamra tells Shannon, let’s turn this around, and they go back in.

Andy asks if Shannon said something to Vicki and it got misconstrued. Vicki swears that Shannon called her at the time. Kelly seems to think Shannon’s story makes sense now, and Andy wonders why Vicki is sticking with what she said. Shannon shows pictures of herself in a bikini and says see? no bruises. Vicki says that a man should never touch a woman. Shannon says they’re in agreement on that one.

Andy brings up the Eddie being gay thing, and Vicki says it was a rumor that Tamra already knew about. Vicki says she doesn’t know if it’s true, but all she did was say it was out there. She says that Tamra has been trashing her for years . Tamra says, shut up, old lady, revealing her usual charming self and blowing her witness. The really stupid thing is that she’s not exactly a spring chicken. I guess her fear of growing old causes her to become ageist in an argument. She tells Vicki to stop spreading rumors. Andy asks why Heather is angry with Kelly instead of Vicki for telling Kelly. Heather agrees she had douchy moments on the bus. She says they all did, and she cops to hers.

Andy brings up the puppet-master thing that Kelly said. Heather says it’s more like Kelly is (no, you), since she tried to build hate against heather. Kelly says everyone has seen heather for who she is now and the world hates Heather and loves her. I’m speechless, and so is Heather.

Andy asks where Tamra and Vicki are relationship-wise. Tamra says now that Vicki has been spreading rumors, they’re done. Vicki says she’s sorry she repeated anything to Kelly. Meghan thinks her ego is getting involved in her apology. Andy asks if Kelly has made any progress. Kelly says she apologized and tried to move forward, but it seems like it doesn’t matter.

Final moment. If they cold have one do-over what would it be? For Heather, it’s the bus ride to the airport. She says personal narratives and booze made it explode. For Meghan, she would have listened to Heather about the accident. For Tamra, it’s pushing Kelly; for Kelly, it’s talking about Tamra’s daughter. For Shannon, it’s yelling about her mother-in-law at David, and for Vicki, it’s talking to Kelly about things at the beginning of the season, when she should have kept her mouth shut.

Andy says they’ve gotten everything off their chest, and it’s time to heal. Shannon says the damage is done. She tells Vicki that spousal abuse is a serious allegation, and Vicki says so is con woman. Andy breaks out the Guinness and champagne cocktails, and toasts to season 11, moving forward, and Meghan’s baby girl. Baby’s first reunion. Yikes.