Category Archives: television

Oct5

October 4, 2016 – GH’s Paul has a Plan, ILYIW’s Lushion is the Man & Below Deck Gets a New Deckhand

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly asks Sonny if he’s sure the call he took is from the warehouse. He says she’s been giving him the cold shoulder, so what’s up? She wants to know if he’s lying to her. He says he already told her that if anything happens to Julian, it won’t have anything to do with him.

Ava finds Scotty in a dive bar. She says he was supposed to pick her up on the way to court. She wonders if he’s going back on his promise to represent Paul. Scotty says it’s not like Paul is going anywhere.

Jordan visits Paul in his cell. She wanted to see him in custody with her own eyes. She says when she’s done with him, he’s going to wish he’d spent the morning alone.

Claudette sees Griff at the diner. He wants to know about the man she’s been trying to get away from.

Nathan confirms that Valentin is still in prison. He tells Maxie that he can see his daughter now.

Curtis tells Nina he’s not having much luck finding a baby for her. She says she has another great idea. She’s not just thinking outside the box, but outside the country, and wants to make a child’s life better. Curtis says she can’t just swoop in like Angelina Jolie. Nina says she’s not trying to, but their motives are the same. She tells Curtis that kids are dying in camps and she wants him to broker a deal.

Nell works her cell phone at the bar, trying to score Shawn Mendes tickets for Carly to surprise Josslyn with on her birthday. She finally has success and Kiki says no wonder Carly hired her. Kiki sees Michael and calls him over to tell him the good news, but he’s bummed about Paul being the one who murdered Sabrrrina.

Carly tells Sonny there’s a difference between telling the literal truth and being honest. Are we talking about a sin of omission here? Morgan comes downstairs and Sonny asks what happened to him.

Jordan says Paul was so annoyed at his own incompetence and inability to protect someone he loved, he took it out on innocent people. She tells him that he’s the worst kind of bully. Jordan leaves, and Scotty and Ava come in through the revolving guest door at the jail.

Griff says there have already been too many secrets and Claudette tells him the man is Valentin Cassadine. He asks how she got mixed up with him.

Maxie says Nathan might be jumping the gun. She says they only have Claudette’s word that the hair was from her daughter. Nathan says he can double-check once Charlotte gets there.

Morgan says he was cramming with some guys. Carly asks why he smells like smoke and he says one of the other guys smokes. Yeah, that’s what I used to tell my father too. He goes to take a shower and Carly asks Sonny how much studying he thinks they did. Sonny says none. Sonny gets a call and it’s the dean telling him that Morgan was expelled. Sonny tells the dean that if Morgan did something to break the rules, he has to face the consequences, but thanks him for his help. Sonny tells Carly about Morgan getting caught cheating. Morgan comes back downstairs and Sonny yells at him, asking when he was going to tell them he was expelled.

Curtis says Nina can’t buy a foreign baby. Nina says he knows the baby will be the most precious thing to her. He says he has a sliding scale when it comes to right and wrong, but this is wrong. Nina says she turned Crimson around with her ideas and she’ll handle this too.

Michael says he can’t wrap his head around this right now, using an incredibly dated expression for one so young. Kiki goes into the hallway to call Dillon. Nell asks Michael what he’s going to do.

Ava tells Paul that Scotty is his representation, and Scotty says he’ll represent anyone for a price. He’ll do everything in his power to get Paul a not guilty verdict. He says he did get Julian off. Paul doesn’t question his legal prowess, but doesn’t need his skills. He already has a a lawyer.

Nathan tells Maxie that he’s definitely going to double-check the paternity, but he doesn’t want Charlotte to get hurt. He remembers all the changes he went through when he found out that Madelyn wasn’t his mother. He says if Charlotte is his daughter, he wants her to know she’s loved and wanted. Maxie says he’s so good with Georgie, he’s going to make a great dad. Nathan tells her he loves and appreciates her. They kiss. She suggests they take it to the bedroom, but Nina comes in saying they need to talk.

Claudette tells Griff that when Charlotte was born, she was completely overwhelmed. She got a neighbor to babysit and put on her high heels and slinkiest dress and went out to a nightclub. She felt like her old self again, walking past the velvet rope and right into the club. She tripped going in and suddenly a handsome man was carrying her. He didn’t leave her side all night, and the champagne kept flowing. The next day, there were photos of them in the paper, calling him her knight in shining armor. She says they weren’t wrong, but Valentin changed. Okay, let me stop here. No one even knew Valentin existed until five minutes ago, yet he was on the society pages of a New York City paper? Okay.

Maxie tells Nathan to remind her to get her spare key back. Nina wants Maxie’s wedding planner so they can get a move on. Nina suggest they get a helicopter to fly overhead, so it’s like a celebrity wedding with paparazzi. Maxie says they haven’t done too much planning, since they have other things on their minds. Nina wants to know what.

Charlotte says Valentin went from attentive to suffocating to controlling. He wasn’t physically abusive, but could intimidate her with a look or a gesture. When she tried to leave he told her he’d kill her and her daughter. And her little dog too.

Curtis sees Jordan at the station. He gives her a lottery ticket. He reminds her of when they were partners, and when one of them had a victory or win, the other bought them a lottery ticket. Jordan says he was the one who made the original observation that it was probably someone right under their noses, and it was good police work. He asks if that will get him back on the force.

Paul wants the best lawyer he knows – himself. We know what they say about that. Ava tells Scotty he can leave. Scotty tells Paul he’ll be having his stuff moved into Paul’s old office today, and to enjoy the prison cuisine. He leaves and Paul says he knows a bribe when he sees one. He asks Ava what she really wants.

Morgan asks how Sonny found out. Sonny says the dean called, apologizing that he couldn’t do anything. Morgan says he had a paper due and couldn’t concentrate. He knew how much trouble they went through to get him into school, and didn’t want them to know he screwed up. He says the meds and sessions aren’t working. Sonny says it takes time, but Morgan explodes, saying he’s never going to get better and they might as well accept the fact that he’s always going to be like this. He storms out and Sonny tells Carly to let him go.

Claudette tells Griff that she had to find Nathan because their daughter was in danger. She says Valentin said if she told anyone, he’d kill them. She says she knew deep down that Nathan was Charlotte’s father, but she wishes Charlotte was their daughter.

Nathan tells Nina about Charlotte. Nina says she can’t believe it, and he’d be the best father ever. Nathan says Claudette got involved with a criminal and had reason to hide her. He says he found out the guy is in prison, so he can see Charlotte now. Nina says, then what?

Michael tells Nell that Teddy’s life was flipped upside down because of Paul. Nell says she can’t imagine why he did it, but tells Michael to take comfort in that Paul was caught and he’ll pay for what he did

Ava wants the flash drive. She says she’s offering Paul his freedom in exchange for hers. Paul says what if he didn’t get acquitted; how fair would that be? Ava says he did things to protect his daughter and she’s done questionable things to protect hers. If she goes to jail, who’s going to protect them? What I’m wondering is why does he even need the flash drive at this point?

Jordan tells Curtis that it’s the details that are important. During a sting, he took off to score. A case was blown because he was using. He says it was only surveillance and nothing was supposed to go down, and he screwed up. They were supposed to be partners, but she turned him in.

Carly says Andre told her Morgan has been showing up for all his sessions and he’s been scheduled for blood work. Sonny thinks a piece is missing. He says maybe Morgan wasn’t ready for school. Carly says what if he’s never ready? Sonny tells her that just because Morgan’s bipolar is taking longer to deal with than his, doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed; he just needs more time. Carly says she thought things were going better, but he’s not even out of the woods yet.

Kiki leaves a message for Dillon. Morgan hears her and says she has time for Dillon, but didn’t for him last night. Kiki asks what his problem is. He says his girlfriend is calling another guy, but couldn’t be bothered with him. She asks if he knows that Dillon’s father is the hospital killer. She says she called Morgan back after her shift but he didn’t call her. He tells her he was kicked out of school.

Sonny tells Carly there’s nothing worse than watching your kid be in pain, but he knows from experience that Morgan has to do the work himself. He says Morgan will get through it, because they’ll be beside him every step of the way. It will just take time. Carly knows he’s right, but it’s killing her to watch him struggle. He promises that Morgan will have a healthy happy life.

Nathan says now that he knows Charlotte is his daughter, he’s never taking his eyes off of her. Nina asks if Charlotte is going to live with them, and Nathan says yes. Maxie says Claudette might have something to say about that, and Nathan says joint custody then Nina tells him a child can put a strain on the relationship, and he should think about it, but she has a perfect solution. Yep. Smelled this coming.

Claudette says the love she had for Griff wasn’t a sin and she isn’t a terrible person. He doesn’t think she’s a terrible person, but he makes terrible decisions.

Jordan doesn’t regret turning Curtis in. He says for one mistake, and asks if her career couldn’t absorb one mess up. She says she tried everything to get him to quit and nothing worked  She wasn’t worried about her career, but his life, and the lives of those around him. She says all they were gong to do was put him on suspension while he went to rehab, but he wouldn’t play ball. He says she did it for his own good then?

Paul says he lost himself in trying to make things right for Susan. Ava doesn’t condone his actions, but she understands his motives. He says he was a bully, nothing more, and deserves to be punished. He says it’s almost a relief, and he thinks the same might be true for her.

Michael talks to Nell about Julian getting acquitted. She says but he was prosecuted by Paul, another criminal. Michael says what’s to stop the next DA from letting Paul go? He says everyone was pursuing their own interests, and now it’s his turn.

Jordan says all she wanted was for Curtis to get straight and get back on the job. He says he’s been clean for years, but she says she doesn’t trust him. He tells her that he’s not the same man. She asks how he knows that. He tells her apparently she can’t see it, so play the lottery ticket before her luck runs out.

Claudette tells Griff that it’s time for Nathan to meet Charlotte.

Nina says she’ll take Charlotte.

Kiki asks Morgan what happened. He says he was going to tell her last night, but she didn’t have time. He adds that she’s looking at him like his mom does. He tells her to save her sympathy for someone who needs it.

Michael tells Nell that he’s going to get justice for Sabrrrina and leaves. Nell calls Sonny. She tells him that Michael was upset about Paul, and she’s afraid of what he might do.

Ava says Paul’s mission is accomplished; his daughter is safe, but hers are vulnerable. He says they’re convenient for her. She plays the mommy card to justify murder. She says if he ever cared about her, don’t do this; don’t send her to prison. Jordan comes in and says his arraignment is scheduled. Paul says he has to tell her something.

At the end, there’s a tribute to Agnes Nixon, the creator of One Life to Live, All My Children and Loving, who recently passed away. When I was a little girl and learning soap life at my Aunt Mary’s knee, I wrote to Ms. Nixon. One Life to Live had a plotline about drug addiction where they were using actual recovering addicts. I was impressed by it, and thought it would also help others, and I told her so. This kind lady wrote me back, thanking me and saying a little something. Alas, I no longer have the letter, but the fact that she took the time to write back to me has always stayed with me, and gives you a glimpse into her character.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Michael not to throw everything away for Paul, Ned comes back, and Andre asks Morgan if there’s a good reason he’s risking his life.

If Loving You is Wrong

Marcie cracks a bottle over Brad’s head. His ear is bleeding and he asks why she did this. She grabs a big kitchen knife and he asks what he did. She asks him what he did. She tells him to back up, grabs her bag, and leaves. Brad keeps yelling, what’s happening? and holds a paper towel to his head.

Lushion is still at the hospital with Natalie. Esperanza dashes in and Lushion tells her Joey was in a shootout with some thug. He’s going to get something to calm Natalie down. Natalie tells Esperanza the hospital isn’t telling her anything. She says they’re trying to stabilize Joey so they can ship him somewhere else. She says she told him to stay away from the corner. She says Joey had a gun and violated his probation, so if he recovers, he’s going to jail. Esperanza tells her it’s going to be okay. Natalie says it’s not, and Joey’s father should be helping her. Joey is a man-child whose been raised in the ghetto. She says she tried, but she couldn’t do it. She starts to freak out and Lushion comes running over. He gives her something from the nurse, but she says she doesn’t want to be numb, she wants to be angry. Pulling herself together, she says she was so young when she got pregnant and made so many mistakes. Things she would never do with the other kids, and she wishes she knew then what she knows now. You and me both, sista.

She goes on about the things she tried to teach Joey. She says she was worried about him being shot by a policeman like Eddie, but he was shot by a thug on the block. She tells Lushion she’s tired. He says he’s there and gives her the medication. He says he knows she’s tired and angry, but he’s there, so lean on him. Natalie tells him to promise Joey will pull through. Lushion says he promises they love him and that they’ll pray for him. He promises that Joey has a fight in him that he got from her, and he loves the both of them. He promises no matter what happens, he’ll be there for them. Lushion is the best. Natalie takes the medication. He wipes the tears from her face. Esperanza thanks him for being the man that he is. She has to leave, but says she’ll be back. She tells Lushion she’ll text him about some other stuff later. Damn. They almost had me crying.

Scumbag Eddie goes to Ben’s desk and asks him if he went through the database. Ben says if Eddie doesn’t think he did a good job, go look for himself. Eddie says Ben f-ed up and I go, wait a second, can you say that on this station? Or did someone just f-up? Eddie grabs Ben’s injured hand and tells him to look again. Ben says Andrew is watching everything. Eddie says he’s got this and tells Andrew to get over here. He says Andrew has a call. Andrew says no he doesn’t. Eddie tells him to look at his monitor. He points out some bogus thing on Ben’s monitor. He asks if Andrew is cut out for this job, since he didn’t notice it.

Andrew leaves and Eddie tells Ben to get back in there. Eddie tells him to watch his mouth and Ben gets snarky, saluting him and calling him the boss. I laugh.

Kelly lingers on the sidewalk outside her house. Marcie runs up and asks what’s happening. Kelly says Louise was hurt, the baby is missing, and Louise said it was Brad. Marcie can’t believe it and Kelly tells her to talk to the police. Kelly calls Steven over and introduces them. Marcie asks where Randal is, but Steven says they don’t know. He shows her a picture of Alex and Randal and he asks if it’s a recent photo. Marcie says yes, and he talks about the “it’s a boy” sign and the light bulb comes on over his head. He starts asking Marcie where she was, and she says she wants to know what’s going on. Kelly asks what he’s trying to pull and he says he was just asking questions. He tells Marcie that according to her mother-in-law, Brad beat Louise up and kidnapped the baby. He asks Marcie if this is something Brad could do and she says she doesn’t know. He asks if she knows where Brad is and she hesitates, but tells Steven he’s at the apartment that they share together and gives him the address. He asks for permission to search and she gives it. She says Brad came in about an hour ago and she hasn’t seen him all day. She asks if Randal is going to be all right and Steven says he doesn’t know.

Kelly asks Marcie if she thinks Brad could have done this, but she doesn’t know what to think. Kelly needs to go back to Alex’s house because the kids are there. Marcie doesn’t want to because she blames Alex for all this

The nurse wheels Pete past Lushion and he asks where they’re taking him. She says they’re going to a more secure part of the hospital. Lushion asks if Pete remembers anything and tells him he got shot. Pete asks by who, but Lushion was hoping Pete could tell him. Pete says he can’t remember. Lushion asks if he remembers anything, but the nurse tells him to back off a little. Pete starts to cry and Lushion says he’s looking good and he’ll see him later. Hmm…moving him. That could be good or bad. Natalie remembers Pete giving her the bag and asks if he’s going to be okay, but Lushion says Joey is their main focus.

Brad throws away the bloody paper towels. His phone is ringing. He doesn’t answer and puts it in his pocket.

Eddie arrives at Brad’s house. The officer says it’s pretty bad and Eddie asks if there are any bodies. The officer says they took an old lady to the hospital. Steven asks what he’s doing there and Eddie says checking out the crime scene and enjoying it, which Steven finds really weird. Eddie says the guy who once tried to sue the department lives here, and Steven tells him all the more reason to get out. He tells Eddie not to touch anything and Eddie touches stuff deliberately because he’s five. Steven says outranks Eddie and Eddie says think about how he got his rank. They go back and forth for a while. Steven makes a crack about ladies underwear and tells Eddie not to test his patience. He finally gives Eddie the bum’s rush out the door. How this guy doesn’t get a smack across the face every five minutes is beyond me.

Esperanza asks Eddie what he’s doing there. He says the primary care giver of his child isn’t home and his daughter is in a house next to a crime scene. Esperanza is like, oh, now Eddie wants to be a father. She tells Steven he’s Eddie’s boss and tell him to get out. Steven asks if she can identify some photos for him. She tells Eddie to wipe the stupid smile off his face and he asks if she’s leaving him for Steven because he has the IQ of a rock.

Marcie acts like a two-year-old, getting loud and flinging herself around in Alex’s house. Kelly tells her to knock it off. Marcie says she needs someone to blame. Kelly says give it time and Marcie says she has, but it’s still there and blah-blah-blah Alex slept with her husband. Yeah? Well, your husband is a raging lunatic who deserves to be in the box he’s in right now, so you should thank her. Kelly tells her the kids are there and Marcie says she doesn’t care about Alex’s kids. Kelly tells her that her son is there too, and to calm down or leave.

Travis calls Kelly. He leaves a voicemail saying she’s ignoring him and he doesn’t like being made a fool of. He doesn’t like the position she’s put him in. Being a stalker?

Kelly ignores the call. Marcie asks who it is and Kelly says nothing important. Travis calls again and says she thinks he’s some kind of kid that she can ignore. He says he’s going to keep calling and calling and calling until she picks up. He calls her a selfish and inconsiderate bitch. He immediately calls back, saying he doesn’t know why he did that, he’s sorry, and please call him back. Then he calls again and says he hates her. He keeps calling like he’s two different people. He asks if he can come by and see Justice. He asks if she’s with the guy next door. He crys, he yells, he has fantasies about being with her, he apologizes.

Marcie says someone is really trying to get in touch with Kelly. She says she doesn’t want to talk to them. Marcie asks if it’s Alex and she says no. Marcie says Alex had everything and had to come looking in her backyard. Kelly says it takes two and Marcie says it takes four, because she and Brad didn’t know. Kelly says now you know, and Marcie gets pissed, asking how she can be so nonchalant. Kelly says she’s not going to be in the middle anymore and she just wants to make sure the baby is safe.

Marcie asks what about Randal, and Kelly says him too. Marcie says Kelly doesn’t care. Kelly says she does, but what’s obvious is that Marcie cares more than she’s letting on. Marcie says she still loves Randal and starts to cry. Kelly says he’s her husband and of course she loves him. Marcie says she hopes he’s somewhere getting his ass kicked for what he did, but part of her hopes he’s okay. Seriously, he’s full-blown batsh*t crazy. Just move on. And not with Brad either.

Kelly says she noticed the look on Marcie’s face when Steven was asking her questions, and asks if she thinks Brad did this. Marcie says she doesn’t see it. Kelly says he was in the military and almost ripped Randal to shreds. Marcie wonders how she can be sure about any man. Randal made her doubt everything. Kelly asks her again and she says she doesn’t know. Kelly asks why she has that look then. Marcie says she saw mud on Brad’s shoes and what he told her didn’t sound true. She says the mud was red and there isn’t any red dirt where he said he was. Kelly says they have to tell the police. Marcie says what if she’s wrong, or worse, what if she’s right? Kelly insists, taking Marcie by the hand and bringing her outside.

Alex is driving while trying to use her phone and crying. She gets through to Brad. She says she needs him. He asks if the kids are okay. She says yes. He says don’t call him for anything else and hangs up. She calls again, but gets voicemail. She’s crying hysterically and continues to call. Suddenly, a deer is in front of the car. She swerves and crashes into a tree. To add insult to injury, a tree branch falls on the car.

Next time, Joey is in surgery, Brad talks to Eddie, Julius tempts Ben, and Kelly tells Esperanza about Travis.

Below Deck

Everyone has recovered from the 12-course tasting menu. Nico says Sierra broke down last night and is thinking of leaving. Kelley says she has to realize that Ben in the kitchen is brutal. Ben admits he was intense. Kate suggests he take Sierra aside and tell her she did a great job.

Sierra calls her mother, telling her how she flipped out because she was overwhelmed. In her interview, she claims to be thick-skinned, but needs positivity, which really isn’t even a word. And I think she folded pretty easily, besides not being totally on top of things.

Ben catches Sierra in the laundry room and asks if they’re cool. She says they are, but doesn’t really look at him and concentrates on ironing. Lauren says she has a crush on Nico and thinks they’re flirting, but we know he’s in competition with Kelley for Emily’s attention. Kate is thrilled to have two stews that actually work, and gives them swimming time while the guests are ashore.

Two of the guests, the bald guy and the less bald guy, want to have a push up contest and they ask for bikini wax. I guess the loser gets waxed? The less bald guy wins and agrees to get some of his back waxed too. Kate gives instructions on how to do it and one of their companions does the honors. It looks pretty painful. Holy! Less bald guy is like a gorilla, he has so much hair. Drunk old guy asks to see Emily’s “V” and he doesn’t mean the 1980’s show. That’s so disgusting, I can’t even, but she takes it in stride.

Another amazing meal is produced by Chef Ben. When Kate serves the wine, she tells the guests they can try other options and even more drunk old guy says he’ll try her too. WTF? She can’t wait for them to leave. Ben thinks it’s an easy evening. No 12-course dinner and no tears in the galley.

The girls laugh about the wax strips of hair. Kate irons it (?) and they’re going to present it to the guests (??). Ben tells her to do it after the tip. It’s time to dock and Nico says the guy on the dock is moving like a turtle. Captain Lee swears the docks are getting smaller.

Kate presents bald guy with the wax art. It’s been made into a poster on dowel rods. Asian guy gives Captain Lee the tip. It looks like a brown bag lunch and I hope there’s money in it and not back hair.

Captain Lee asks if the interior is doing better. He says everyone must have done well, because it’s $20,000, split ten ways, thanks to Trevor. Captain Lee says everyone can go out tonight. In her interview, Kate says she doesn’t know what’s going on between Lauren and Nico, but she believes Nico is thinking friend zone and Lauren didn’t get the memo.

The next primaries are Mark and Heidi, with two daughters each from previous marriages. Nothing to see here, no weirdos. There’s also a new deckhand coming. The captain says he’s kind of green.

Kate and Ben discuss the difference between “love you” and “I love you.” Everyone gets ready to go out. Lauren seems miffed that Nico is flirting with Emily on the boat to the mainland. The crew goes to a really nice cafe and piano bar. The drinking commences. Nico notices that something is up with Lauren, but he’s too stupid to know what, so she ignores him. After dinner Kate suggests they go make bad decisions.

Nico asks Ben about Lauren and Ben says obviously she likes him, but it will blow over. Lauren talks to Kelley on the way to the club or whatever it is. Emily thinks Nico is an interesting character and attractive. Lauren is stumbling around the beach and Kelley sends Nico out to look after her. She blows him off. Kelley claims sake gives you a clean hangover, whatever that means. Lauren tells Nico she can’t talk to him right now. Kelley takes the opportunity to tell Emily that Nico has a girlfriend, whether he does or not.

Back at the Valor, everyone heads to bed. Nico tries to hit on Sierra, but it’s a no, and I think she has hiccups. She tells Kate he tried to kiss her, which she finds hysterically funny. Nico moves on to Emily and tells her he thinks she’s attractive. Emily says he has a girlfriend and she’s not like that. He says it was months ago and she says not according to Kelley, and she’s going to bed, but not with him.

Nico wakes up alone and with his clothes still on. Emily and Sierra compare notes on Nico. Sierra says she thought he was getting on with Lauren. Nico tells Kelley he cares about Lauren, but not that way. In his interview, Kelley says no matter how much you think a girl is “a bro,” she’s not. Girls catch feelings. Very astute of him.

New deckhand Kyle arrives. We need subtitles because his British accent is so thick. Captain Lee has Kelley get him settled in. In his interview, Kyle says yachting is a better choice than the fishing trawlers he was on – there’s women on the boat and it’s not deadly. Ben says he can barely understand Kyle and he’s from England. Kyle meets everyone. Nico apologizes to Emily, saying he was a little drunk. She tells him it wasn’t cool to try to get with the easiest girl, but asks how his head is.

Nico thinks things are weird between him and Lauren and they need to fix it. Kate thinks no matter what, these guests will be better than the last group. Kelley wants Lauren to make a list of all the water toys with Nico, and the girls tell her how he tried to kiss both of them. Lauren says he’s not the guy she thought he was.

Nico asks if everything is all right between him and Lauren. He says he was super drunk and says the “we were all drunk” thing that I hate. No, it was you that was insensitive in the first place. He says she was ignoring him, but she says they’re cool and she’ll get over it. Everyone gets ready for the next guests.

Kate does the tour. I love this boat. Kyle is working out well and Kelley is happy. The guests are easy-going and not very demanding. Kyle says Sierra has the Alaskan face and he’s a Viking. What?

Ben is going to truffle-ize the hell out of the potato salad, which sounds scary. Lunch is served and it’s time to set up the water toys. Kate is surprised the parents are letting their daughters drink so much. She’d like them to remember their vacation, and decides to lighten the drinks.

Kyle has been helping with the water toys and suddenly dislocates his shoulder. That was quick.

Next time, Kate’s girlfriend Ro arrives, Kyle hits on Emily, Kate’s concerned about the guests’ alcohol consumption (and rightly so), and Captain Lee has it out with Kelley over some dirty windows.

Oct4

October 3, 2016 – GH is For Sale & in the OC, Candles & a Book Set Sail

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn tells Hayden that he’s in luck. His friend, Travis, is working security at GH. Travis’s mother had needed medical care they couldn’t afford, and Finn helped them. Now Travis is going to turn a blind eye to him sneaking in to use some research equipment. Hayden is concerned about the killer, but Finn doesn’t think a serial killer is going to be hanging out where there are no people. He says he’ll be fine. Hayden agrees because she’s going with him

Ava tells Kiki to remember what happened when Sonny stopped taking his meds. She says Morgan will have to take medication for the rest of his life, and Kiki is going to have to make sure he’s disciplined, which doesn’t come naturally to him. She doesn’t understand why Kiki wants to settle for a man with a mental illness. Franco interrupts and tells her to knock it off. Ava says she just wants to spare Kiki pain. She says Morgan will hurt her again, but she’ll always be there to help her pick up the pieces.

Morgan goes to see Andre in his temporary office. Morgan says he’s losing it big time. All he keeps thinking is about going back to Freedman, where he says he was anything but free. He tells Andre he’ll run away before he goes back. Andre tells him to slow his roll.

Paul tells Dillon to go away. Dillon says he’s not going anywhere until Paul lets Tracy go.

Morgan tells Andre some “stuff went down.” (How thug life of him.) His parents and Kiki know about some things, and some they don’t. Andre asks what they know about. Morgan tells Andre that he got in a couple of fights. He says he punched Joe Rivera when he wanted to take Teddy, and he’d also attacked Julian after the trial. Andre says he’s not going to minimize things – Morgan could go to jail for assault – but the upside is that he came to see his doctor. He asks what Morgan was thinking. Morgan says he thought he could make the world right if he beat them to a pulp. Andre asks if he stopped himself or someone else stopped him.

Franco asks Kiki what Morgan did this time. Kiki says Ava still blames Morgan for her getting shot . Franco says the whole thing was pretty awful. He doesn’t want to give her a lecture, but says she’s possibly not safe. He’s fine with the relationship though. If he tells her to run from Morgan, he should tell Elizabeth to run away from him.

Dillon asks what Tracy has to do with Susan. Paul says she caught him talking to Susan about the killings. He tells Dillon the system failed Susan, so he had to fix things. Dillon gets loud and asks what kind of man does that, and says that Susan wouldn’t agree with his methods. He says when she finds out that he did all this in her name, she’s not going to want him as a father – no more than Dillon does.

Ava consults Spyder-Finder about the dangers of not taking bipolar meds. Scotty knocks at the door, saying he’s there to pay his debt, since she let him crash there, and she calls him a freeloader. He says he doesn’t want that title associated with the Baldwin name, and she might take him more seriously with some cash. He gives her an envelope and she asks if he robbed a bank. He says his success with Julian’s trial has brought in business, and plays his new rap commercial for her on his phone. She says he’s truly unforgettable, and he says he takes it as a compliment whether she means it that way or not. He tells her that he knows who the suspect is in the hospital killings. He says it’s someone she knows well and no one would figure out – it’s Paul.

Hayden thinks the hospital is creepy all empty and in the dark. She and Finn hear voices and hide. It’s Lucy and a board member. Lucy says until he called, she didn’t know GH was for sale.

Morgan tells Andre that he’s taking his meds and he had a heart to heart with his dad. Andre asks if there have been any changes to his routine. Morgan tells him about going back to school and how he stupidly cheated. He’s afraid that he’s been caught, since he got a call to come to the office and there’s a zero tolerance policy. He doesn’t know how he’s going to tell his parents. He shows Andre the necklace Carly gave him and he knows she’ll be disappointed. He’s afraid when Kiki finds out he lied, she’s going to break up with him.

Kiki says Morgan isn’t nearly as bad as Franco was. Franco says since his tumor was removed he’s only partially imbalanced, but Morgan is bipolar forever. Kiki says as long as he takes his meds, he can lead a normal life. Franco asks if she believes that, and she says right now she’s walking on egg shells trying not to set him off. Franco says it doesn’t sound like a great relationship. She asks him not to tell anyone, but sometimes she thinks, what about me? and wonders if this is the best Morgan is going to get.

Paul says he needed to get justice for Susan, and he can’t have Anna arrest him. Against Anna’s advice, Dillon moves toward Paul. I guess Paul is really out of his mind at this point, because whether he kills Tracy or not, it’s not like he can get away.

Scotty tells Ava they’re making quite a case against Paul. Ava says Scotty has to represent Paul and he has to win. He asks why she cares so much.

Lucy tells the board guy that if he can specify his needs, she can show him several other properties. She says GH isn’t for sale. He suggests the property can be repurposed as luxury condos.

Andre says Morgan’s parents and Kiki will probably be disappointed, but people make mistakes and it’s how you deal with them that matters. Morgan says every time he tried to write the paper, he got distracted. Andre says it happens, but Morgan says that’s not what he told everyone. He said everything was going great. Andre says maybe he jumped into school too soon. He thought they had a handle on Morgan’s meds, but it’s possible they need to be adjusted. Andre says he’s going to have to be responsible and admit his mistake.

Kiki says Morgan had been pushy and kind of needy, but overall he was loving, caring and kind. She says now everything is about Morgan, and she doesn’t know what happened to make him change. Franco says he thought Morgan made her happy. She says he does, most of the time. Franco says if it’s difficult to be with Morgan and it’s not the relationship she wants, she doesn’t have to stay in it. She says she loves Morgan, but hopes his mood swings even out. She wonders what people would think if she left him for being sick. Ask David Foster.

Ava says she’s hiring Scotty. She tells him that Paul being the killer wasn’t news to her. She discovered it and used the information to throw the trial. She says sorry it wasn’t Scotty’s skills that set Julian free, but he has a chance to be brilliant now by representing Paul.

Paul says Susan needs Dillon and they need to be a family. Dillon says Paul has a needle pointed at Tracy and she’s his family too. Dillon unties Tracy and gets her free. She asks Dillon how he found her. Dillon says Anna traced the phone call and told him. Anna tells Paul drop the syringe. Really. What is he going to do? Throw it at them? Dillon asks if Paul thinks killing someone else is going to help Susan, and if so, kill him.

Franco says he’s worried about Kiki. She says she just needed to vent, so don’t be. She asks how Elizabeth is doing and he says better. He’s hired professional, around-the-clock care for her. Kiki says he’s pulling out all the stops and asks if it’s working. He laughs and tells her it’s all good. He talks about Heather thinking he was the GH killer.

Andre tells Morgan it’s not the end of the world, but it’s clear that something is seriously wrong. Morgan is worried that he’ll have to go back to Freedman, but Andre says he thinks it’s the meds. He says Morgan needs to tell his parents and Kiki that he’s still experiencing the highs and lows of being bipolar. He wants Morgan to get some blood work done so they can get a handle on things. He asks for Morgan’s word that he’ll own up to his mistakes.

Scotty asks if Paul changed the numbers on the wire tap. Ava says yes. Scotty asks what about Alexis and if Paul slipped her a Mickey, and Ava says she doesn’t know what happened there. Scotty can’t believe she allowed Paul to continue killing to get both her and Julian off.

Dillon warns Paul to stay away from Tracy. Tracy tells him to let Anna handle it. Dillon says if Paul is going to kill anyone, it’s going to be him, and Paul tells him to stop saying that. Paul asks why Anna brought Dillon there. Anna says if anyone could talk sense into him, it’s his son. He acts like he and Anna were a team with her trying to kill Carrrlos and him killing Sloane. Anna says she’s not a serial killer, and if he doesn’t put the syringe down, she’s going to shoot him.

Tracy tells Paul to do what Anna’s telling him and Dillon agrees. Anna says she doesn’t want to be judge and jury, and wants Paul to have his day in court. She tells him to prove to his son he’s not a coward and do it for his kids. He tries to inject himself and Dillon grabs him.

Scotty is shocked that Ava would allow a serial killer to walk around town killing people. She says Julian is her brother and she believed Paul would stop once she knew. Scotty is like, you trusted a serial killer to do the right thing? He asks if Paul still has the flash drive and Ava says yes. She says she has her daughters to think of and Kiki is in trouble. She says Morgan is bipolar like his crazy father, and she thinks she made things more dangerous. Scotty asks what she did. He wonders what could be worse than letting a serial killer run loose. She says she might have replaced some of Morgan’s meds with a placebo. Ha-ha! Might have.

Morgan says he’s scared to face his parents and Kiki, but he’s glad he came. Andre asks if he’s going to tell the truth. Morgan says it won’t be easy, but he’s supposed to meet Kiki and he’s going to start with her. Andre says he’s there if Morgan needs him.

Kiki can’t believe that Heather would think Franco is the killer. He tells her she doesn’t have the market on creepy mothers. He says Heather turned him down for a loan, and Kiki wonders how Heather would have money. Franco explains abut Elizabeth and Hayden being sisters, and how Heather blackmailed Hayden’s mother. He says he’s completely broke, and now Hayden thinks he owes her money and wants him to pay up.

Lucy says GH is more than just a building – it’s a sanctuary, home, and family. She talks about the Nurses Ball and how they raise money and awareness for AIDS/HIV. She says Port Charles needs the hospital, and the board guy can’t tell her it’s going to be gone. Board guy says his associate plans to relocate GH to a different building. Lucy says if he can give his assurance that it’s not going to be gone, they’ll continue the tour.

Hayden asks Finn if he believes it. He says sure, a real estate mogul that cares about people. She says it’s going to happen before anyone has a chance to stop it.

Morgan calls Kiki, who says she texted him that she has to work. She asks if everything is okay. He says he’s fine, but just wanted to talk to her. She calls him “Captain,” and he says he likes that. I get distracted by her silver cascading earrings that look almost liquid. Franco jokes that he’ll fill in for her because he could use the tips.

Morgan calls up someone about a boat.

Scotty is like what? Ava says she thought if Kiki saw Morgan behaving erratically again, she’d get rid of him, but instead she got more protective. Ava says when Morgan was in the clinic, Kiki dated Dillon until Morgan pressured her. She says that Kiki still cares about Dillon, and if Morgan sees them, it will push him over the edge. Scotty says Morgan is unpredictable and what if he hurts someone?

Anna handcuffs Paul and reads him his rights. He wonders what’s going to happen to Susan and wants to see her. He begs Anna to let him talk to her. Dillon asks to have a word with Paul. Anna and Tracy step outside. Paul says he never meant to hurt Dillon. Dillon tells him to save his apologies for the families of the people he’s killed and Teddy, who will never know his mother. He says he‘ll going to take care of Susan. He hasn’t been the greatest brother, but now he’s going to step up to the plate. Not that Paul deserves anything, but his sister does. Paul thanks him. The cops come and Paul is taken away. Tracy hugs Dillon

Tomorrow, Griff asks Claudette about the man she’s hiding Charlotte from, Jordan tells Paul he’s going down, and Sonny asks Morgan when he was going to tell them he was expelled. Well, really he yells at Morgan.

The Real Housewives of the OC

It’s Meghan and Jim’s store opening cocktail party. Yawn. Their focus is candles, but the store sells clothing and jewelry and God only knows what else. It’s pretty, but nothing special. Shannon complains about moving. She sees that Vicki is there and tells Meghan that she called Vicki after the accident (yeah, after she realized Vicki wasn’t exaggerating), but there was no response. Seriously, what did she expect?

Meghan shows off her sonogram. She’s depressed because she’s only having one baby and was hoping for twins, but says the store has been a great distraction. She thanks everyone for coming and makes a little speech about Jimmy being an awesome candle maker.

Tamra asks Vicki if she’s talked to Shannon. She says no, and it’s not the appropriate place right now. Heather has to leave because all the scents are giving her a headache. Ha-ha! Great advertisement for the store. Shannon tells Meghan about calling Vicki and says she never heard back. Tamra eavesdrops and says she told Vicki to say thanks. Shannon says she’s pissed and wants to talk to Vicki. Apparently, she doesn’t care if the place is appropriate or not. She tells Vicki she wishes she’d responded to her voicemail and she’s glad Vicki is better. Vicki says this is messed up and let’s do this another time. In her interview, Vicki says Shannon just wants to save face. Shannon says she’s not going to get into what Vicki has been saying about David. She says his choice of words was inappropriate, but Vicki provoked him. We flash back to the 70s party. Vicki says she has nothing else to say and Shannon wasn’t there.

They get into who lied when and where and how. Jim tells them to take it outside, but they ignore him. In her interview, Vicki says she has some secrets of Shannon’s and Shannon had better stop pushing her. Shannon acts like an idiot. She’s just so annoying and so loud and so inappropriate. In her interview, she says Vicki is threatening her with empty threats. She tells Meghan and Tamra she’s never lied about anything, but Vicki lied about Brooks having cancer. Yeah, let’s give that d-bag more air time when he’s not even on the show anymore.

While out shopping with Tamra, Vicki gets her heel stuck in a crack and then loses her nipple cover. Don’t ask. We flash back to her and Tamra doing crazy stuff. They’re happy to be friends again. They talk about the launch party for Heather’s book and look for dresses. Vicki went to lunch with a new guy. She’s hesitant to bring a new man around because she thinks the girls might research his background. She says she has some great men in her life right now, and Tamra asks if she wants her to check them out. They try on outfits. Tamra notices that Vicki has a hickey. (Sorry, I couldn’t stop that from rhyming.) Are we in middle school? I always thought that was so stupid, even back then. Like, what’s the point?

Shannon and her daughters are looking for an organic mattress. For someone who is so concerned about toxins and feng shui and whatnot, she’s the tightest wound person I’ve ever seen. Shannon complains to David about Vicki calling her a liar. She says she had no issues with Vicki until now. What? She wonders if Vicki thinks she lies, why hasn’t she told anyone about the lie? Um…maybe she doesn’t want to embarrass you? Perhaps all those crazy treatments from Dr. Moon have affected her brain.

Tamra tells Vicki that Shannon said she’s never lied. Vicki says everyone lies. Tamra says Kelly also told her that Vicki has something on Shannon, but she doesn’t want to know. Sure she doesn’t. Vicki says if Shannon pushes the wrong button, it’s not going to go well. Oooh, inquiring minds do want to know.

Kelly and Michael go to the beach. He says he’s dehydrated from last night. She says lately they’ve been arguing a lot and suggests they not do it in front of their daughter. She thinks when they drink, they fight more, and they need to work out their problems. We flash back to Vicki telling her she needs to fix it, and in her interview, Kelly says Michael is 58 and he’s not going to change, so she needs to accept it or not. She tells him they both say mean things to each other and she doesn’t want their daughter growing up thinking it’s okay. Michael says it doesn’t have to be like this, and when they were separated, they missed each other. She says she doesn’t understand why he wants to fight. He says that’s not a solution, but they could use “us” time, and he needs to take more initiative. He says he’ll try to do better with that. She says they’re both control freaks and difficult. Michael says “D squared,” because he’s so clever.

Jim and Meghan cook dinner. Meghan says on a scale of one to Bobby Flay, she’s a two. She tells Jim the baby is messing with her big time and has made her really sad. She claims to know it’s a girl. In her interview, she says she’s been seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication for depression for a while. She says the doctor said most people are happy during their early pregnancy. Last year she was a newlywed, now she’s pregnant, and since she doesn’t see Jim all that much, she wants it to be positive. She seems to have a problem cooking frozen peas and pasta, which I actually make all the time. It’s not that hard. Jim says the last step is, when you’re done, call In & Out Burger.

Vicki is taping a commercial for Kill All Cancer. They have her walk into her kitchen as though she’s just coming home, then she reads from the teleprompter. This takes several tries because of Vicki messing up or the phone ringing or some other interruption. She thinks working with a cancer charity will prove she has nothing to hide and she doesn’t care if the girls believe it or not.

Heather visits Shannon. She brings a salt block for cooking. A question mark is over my head, since I thought that was something deer ate from. Heather asks Shannon what happened after she left. Shannon says that she and Vicki don’t have a friendship, which is how she wants it. Then she proceeds to be the liar she says she isn’t. She says she just walked up to Vicki to say hello, and Vicki called her a liar. I think there was a little more to it than that. As usual, one of the Housewives thinks we have short term memory loss. Heather says she got the same story from Kelly. She says she hates the “don’t make me go there” stuff where someone threatens to tell a secret. Shannon says she’s okay with being in the same room, but she’s not going to be Vicki’s buddy. She seems to think Vicki cares. Heather disagrees that Shannon doesn’t have unresolved issues with Vicki, because she’s obviously bothered. In her interview, Heather says Shannon is bugged because Vicki didn’t return the call. Shannon says whenever she’s with Vicki, there’s an altercation, but fails to mention that she’s usually the one who starts it.

Commercial break. Million Dollar Listing: LA starts this Thursday.

The launch party for Heather and Terry’s book, Mr. & Mrs. Guinea Pig, commences. Heather gave it over to a party planner and it looks fabulous with ice sculptures and a drink fountain, the decorations sleek and modern. Vicki brings her new guy, Steve. You know everyone is going to be checking him out closely. Tamra says she already investigated and he’s clean. Steve says that’s refreshing to know. Tamra embarrasses Vicki by saying she went from a crook to a cop.

Heather thanks everyone for coming and blah, blah, blah. Jim shows up, surprising Meghan, who says he’s a closet sweetheart. I’ll just leave that alone because any joke is way too easy. Shannon and David show up, and I wonder why David always looks startled or frightened. Maybe I would be too, with this crowd.

Stupid Shannon makes a point of ignoring Vicki. She says she’s sick of people saying she hasn’t moved on with Vicki, so then she makes a point of talking to Vicki. This woman cannot make up her mind. Tamra makes Vicki show off her nipple covers. Don’t ask. Tamra talks about Vicki’s new boyfriend and Shannon asks for an introduction. Shannon and Tamra pat Steve down to see if he has a gun. Heather is confused by Shannon and Vicki getting along. Terry discusses Meghan’s pregnancy with Jim. Terry says his son is treating him like some dude he works with and it’s not good.

Tamra calls bullsh*t on Shannon, but hopes they can get along. Meghan tells Heather she wants to eat everything in sight. Heather says babies suck the life out of you. Meghan says she and Jim have been looking into their heritage and talking about going to Ireland, but he’s too busy.

All of a sudden, Meghan suggests they all go to Ireland. In her interview, Shannon claims that Vicki acts like two different people when she’s the one acting like that. The girls make ice cream in a humongous bowl. Tamra says it looks like a yeast infection. Nice.

Kelly tells Vicki about Michael disappearing when they were on the beach, and how she had to take an Uber home. She says she keeps hoping for something better and it’s not getting better. Vicki says there’s a lot of anger between them. Michael is drunk and hitting on Heather’s stylist. Holy! Kelly apologizes to the stylist and tells Michael that he’s being harassing. He says, buggly hiaortrh thhhp. That’s not a typo. Kelly tells Vicki she can’t bring him anywhere without him embarrassing her. In her interview, Vicki says she can relate to Kelly. We flash back to d*ckhead Don she was married to. Kelly says Michael is a drunk and on cue, he breaks a glass. Vicki says they should talk it out. Kelly says they’ve been talking it out for twelve years.

Next time, Ireland here we come, Shannon wears a horrific green glitter shirt, Tamra drunkenly blabs some secrets, and then gets hysterical when there are repercussions.

Oct3

October 2, 2016 – A Count Visits Storybrooke, Fear the Dead Finale & NJ’s Jacqueline Loses It

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

The Evil Queen leads Zelena to the vault. Zelena doesn’t want to let her in, but that doesn’t matter. She needs supplies for a spell. She asks Zelena if she’s worried she’ll harm her better half, but Zelena says it remains to be seen which half is better. The Evil Queen says she just wants to teach Regina that she can’t escape who she is. Zelena asks what’s in it for her and the queen says a sister who’s more deserving.

Regina goes the Granny’s where the Untold Story people have gathered. She has the storybook with her and says she knows they’re afraid that their stories will play out. She says she’s just like them and they don’t have to be afraid. Whatever comes next, they’ll face it together.

Belle comes into Granny’s, looking for a new place to stay. Emma tells Hook she has an appointment to see Archie, so Hook leaves with Belle to help her out.

Henry asks a guy what his name is, wanting to see if his story is in the book. He says he isn’t important enough to be in there. An envelope with a fancy sealing wax closure arrives.

We flash back to the guy’s story – he’s Edmund, the Count of Monte Cristo. We’re at a ball and Edmund approaches the Baron. The Baron says he couldn’t be Edmund; he’s in prison. Edmund tells the Baron that he escaped, and although it took a decade, he’s now the man he wants to be. He pulls out his sword and stabs the Baron. The ballroom clears out and the Evil Queen applauds. She says it’s hard to find commitment like his. She wonders how long his next revenge quest will take and asks him for the names of everyone who has wronged him. In return, she wants help in getting some revenge of her own.

The envelope is an invitation for David and Snow from the Count. Regina says he wants his revenge and explains that she’d once hired him to kill them.

Archie tells Emma it’s a safe space and she can trust him. She tells him about her vision. She says she almost starts to win her battle against the hooded figure, but her hand starts shaking and she gets killed. He thinks maybe the more she talks about it, the less it will haunt her. She says she’s hesitant to tell her family because they would want to fix things and she’s supposed to be the savior. He says even saviors should get a day off. Emma gets upset when he encourages her to let them know and leaves Archie’s office.

David asks why Regina didn’t tell them about the Count. She says she’s clearly trying to put her evil ways behind her, and the Count didn’t get the memo. Snow says she hired him and she can fire him. Regina says that’s why she’s going to meet him instead of them.

Back in the day, Snow and David come upon a destroyed village. One person is alive – Edmund. He says when the queen attacked, everyone fled, but he stayed behind to put out the fire. Snow’s handmaiden, Charlotte, has nursing skills and gives him a salve for his burns. Edmund sees something in her eyes that he finds mesmerizing. He wants to go on the attack, but Snow says revenge isn’t going to bring anyone happiness and finding happiness is the best revenge. David suggests he work for them as a wine steward because that’s a great alternative to seeking revenge.

Regina meets Edmund. She tells him she’s calling off the murder. She says revenge won’t bring back the person you love, and if she can say that, anyone can. Edmund hurls his sword at her and she stops it in mid-air, but by the time she turns it around, Edmund is gone.

Emma tries to drive Snow and David to someplace safe, but the car hits an invisible wall at the Storybrooke border. She says obviously the Count doesn’t want them leaving.

Hook takes Belle to the Jolly Roger. She says she can’t stay there as it will risk Hook’s life. He says he had a hand in harming her and wants to make up for it. He says he needs to forgive himself and he’s not there yet. She says she’ll stay. She wanted to wait for Rumple to come around, but she has to do what’s best for her son.

Regina says it’s not the Count preventing them from leaving, and the only way for a protection spell to have worked is if someone got into her vault. Zelena shows up and Regina tells her about the spell, and says that Zelena is the only other one who could have opened her vault. Zelena says she doesn’t know who did it, but she’s tired of the inquisition and disappears, poof! in a puff of green smoke. Regina says she thinks the Count isn’t the only one they have to worry about.

The Count watches the Evil Queen dispatch a couple of knights. She asks him for a lesson in swordsmanship, but he says he has to go to Snow and David’s. She has a vial of poison for him to use, but he wants to know what they did to deserve death. She asks if he’s getting a conscience and he says to call it professional curiosity. She says the only thing on his mind should be how badly he wants his revenge. He takes the poison vial with him.

Rumpel appears, telling the Evil Queen that she’s still having someone else do her dirty work. She says that’s because Rumpel put a spell on Snow and David, so she can’t hurt them. She says she put the same protection spell on the count to protect him from Rumpel, telling him that the student has outgrown the teacher. He says they’ll see about that, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of grey smoke.

The Evil Queen shows up in Mr. Gold’s shop. He says he knew it was too good to be true, and she says she knows he’s happy that she’s back. He’s holding a coin and he says if she wants it, she has to leave Belle and his son out of her evil plans. She asks if he’s sure that’s all he wants. She says the Untold Story people aren’t the only ones whose plans haven’t played out. He asks why he would be interested in her and she tells him to look her up when he gets tired of waiting for Belle.

Edmund puts the poison into the wine. David says they need another glass for Charlotte, who has to leave to take care of her mother. Edmund pours the wine and says something about Charlotte’s eyes. They make a toast, but Edmund stops them from drinking. He says an occasion like this calls for something more special and he takes the wine away.

Regina and Henry walk around the Untold Story people’s crash landing. Regina tells Henry she can’t let the first story play out like this. She sees Charlotte’s body and says Edmund poisoned her with the wine meant for Snow and David. The Evil Queen appears and says that the handmaid’s tale played out and Regina’s will too. Regina says she thought she’d killed the Evil Queen. The Evil Queen asks if she thought it would be that easy and that after all they did together, this is what she gets. Regina realizes that the Evil Queen has been controlling the Count. The Evil Queen produces his heart and says Regina should be thanking her.

David and Snow see Edmund on the dock. David says it’s all a misunderstanding. Edmund says they have no idea and launches his sword at them. Snow says Regina has changed and doesn’t want this. David asks why he’s doing this, and Edmund says the Evil Queen has his heart. David says they’ll find a way to stop her; they always do.

In the old days, Rumpel shows up, asking Edmund why he didn’t poison Snow and David. Edmund says because of Charlotte. He says she didn’t deserve to die and if he’d killed her his revenge wouldn’t be so sweet. Rumpel says Snow and David don’t deserve to die either. He puts a spell on the door and says he needs them alive and procreating. Edmund finds Charlotte’s body and asks for the antidote. Rumpel says there’s no cure for this poison, but it can be stopped.

He shows Edmund a key and tell him it’s the key to where all untold stories are finished. If he goes there, Charlotte will live, but if he comes back, she dies.

Edmund tells Snow and David that he wanted a fresh start. Regina appears and sword fights with him. She says he can still have a fresh start and his story doesn’t have to end like this. He says it ended when Charlotte died. She says that she couldn’t save Charlotte but she can save him. She asks Henry to call for help, but the Evil Queen did something to his phone. Edmund approaches Snow and David who are now unconscious. Regina lets her sword fly and it runs through him. She cries over his body, but Henry says she did what she had to do.

Snow and David come to. Regina says she had no choice. The Evil Queen says that’s not true and that heroes always find a third way. Regina says she’ll rip the Evil Queen’s heart out. The Evil Queen says that’s the spirit. Regina realizes that the Evil Queen wanted her to kill Edmund. The Evil Queen says the little bit of darkness she revived is just a start. She says Regina will destroy everyone’s happy endings. She says the people from the Land of Untold Stories aren’t the only ones who don’t want their stories told, and when everything plays out, she’ll sit back and watch them tear themselves apart.

Snow tells Regina it’s not her fault and she didn’t have a choice. Emma says the Evil Queen wants her to doubt herself. Snow says she can’t be beaten by running away. She asks what the Evil Queen meant by them all having stories they don’t want told. Emma’s hand starts to shake.

Henry tells Hook he should have known better because sequels are never as good and then has to explain the concept of a sequel. Henry says the first time, the people wanted their stories told. David sees another envelope. It has the coin in it. He goes outside. The Evil Queen asks how he likes his gift. David asks why she gave it to him. She says we all have untold stories waiting to play out. He says the coin was his father’s good luck piece. Before he got drunk and died in a cart accident. The Evil Queen says she’s not interested in his daddy issues. She asks if he’s sure it was an accident, and disappears, poof ! in a puff of purple smoke.

Zelena hears her baby cry and finds the Evil Queen with him. The Evil Queen gives the baby a silver rattle that once belonged to her. She tells Zelena to consider it a gift for not telling Regina about her. She admires the ability to keep a secret. Zelena says it was a test and she’d thought the Evil Queen was different from Regina. The Evil Queen says she’ll never doubt Zelena again. She says she’s the sister Zelena wants because they’re alike in that they never settle for less, and Regina is literally the lesser of two evils.

Emma goes back to Archie. She says he’s right, but she’s not ready to tell her family yet. They talk about the Evil Queen’s return. Emma says she’s worried about who’s going to kill her. The one person who wasn’t with her family is Regina. Archie asks if she’s worried about Regina or the Evil Queen, but she doesn’t know.

No preview for next week.

Fear the Walking Dead

Ofelia’s car starts to overheat. She stops and gets out. She tries to remove the distributor cap and is attacked by a zombie. She slams the hood onto it’s arm, but another one comes after her. She manages to get a hammer out of the car and whacks it in the head, as well as the one that follows. A fourth zombie attacks, but she’s in the zone now. She takes a knife from his belt and stabs car hood zombie.

Now there’s a whole group of them coming, but they’re not moving fast, so she just takes a jug for water and leaves.

Commercial break. The next Pirates of the Caribbean movie – A Pirate’s Death for Me – looks great! Coming out in 2017.

Nick wakes up with Luci beside him. How does her makeup look so perfect in the grubby apocalypse? He goes outside and meets his recruit. They go to Alejandro’s pharmacy and Nick breaks into the drug cabinet. They load up a bag with medication and head out through the bus.

Travis wakes up with Madison sitting beside him in a chair. She says she’s been thinking. She says he kept his promise to Liza. He protected Chris and in this new world he’s safer with people who understand him. She says she’s going to remind him until he believes it. She says he belongs there and when he’s ready, come downstairs.

Nick and the other guy go to the gang market. He tells the guard they have Oxy, shows him the bag and they’re allowed in.

Alicia brings Travis some food. She opens the curtains. Nice view when there aren’t zombies cluttering it up. She tells Travis she’s sorry; she feels like she pushed Chris away. He says she had every right to be scared and that Chris is sick. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t believe her and protect her better. She tells him it’s okay.

Meanwhile, back at the gang market, Nick and the other guy (does he have a name?) meet with gang leader Marco. He’s planning an attack and says it will be like taking candy from a baby. Nick says if the gang will leave them alone, they’ll be there every week, on time. Marco says he likes Nick, but the game is over. They don’t need him anymore. He points out a guy who knows where all the drugs that are left are. He says they’re joining forces and are taking over. Marco shows him the dead bodies of the family who had been there the last time Nick delivered. He says if the people of Colonia aren’t gone by the time he gets there, they’re dead. Alrighty then.

Madison asks Hector how it went last night, and he says better than expected. A few guys who showed up late seeking medical attention are acting like bigot morons. It’s the group Chris was with, but no Chris. Madison asks if they were in an accident. They tell her that their truck rolled and now their truck is totaled and the driver is dead. There’s an argument as to whether the driver had a license. Madison asks if she heard right that one of them is Derek.

Madison goes to Victor and tells him that the guys who just showed up are the ones that Chris went off with. Victor tells her not to tell Travis. She says they need to find out what happened to Chris. Victor says that Travis left Chris with these men. He says she has an amazing daughter and lives with the hope that Nick will return. He asks if she thinks Travis can live without that hope. She says he’s broken and it would kill him.

Luci accosts Nick and says she can’t believe he made the drop. Nick tells her the gang is coming for them and they have to tell Alejandro. He says he’s sorry he snuck out, but he’d never lie to her. They go to see Alejandro. Nick says they have to leave now. A zombie pops up off an operating table and attacks Nick. Nick tumbles over the railing along with the zombie, and they fall onto a hospital bed with a patient in it. The zombie bites that guy’s nose off, as well as a nurse’s finger. Nick plunges his thumbs into the zombie’s eyeballs all the way to his brain. Good one. But who’s going to clean up that mess?

Alejandro gets bitten in the fray.

Ofelia goes through an opening in a wire fence. There isn’t much except tumbleweeds on the other side.

The Colonians do their chanting and send the bitten people out to the zombie wall. I guess amputation isn’t an option for the nurse? Luci asks Nick what’s wrong and he says they’re running out of time. He’s also eyeballing Alejandro.

Madison brings Andres to fix Derek’s shoulder. She wants to take them to a more private place, a room in the hotel, but the other people get up in arms because they were here first. It reminds me of the hospital where I used to live in Queens. Madison and Andres hustle the guys out.

Travis looks out the window and sees them, with the crowd following. Geez, for people who needed a doctor so desperately a minute ago, this bunch is pretty lively. He bangs on the window, yelling to Madison. Victor tries to stop him, but Travis runs outside. Travis pushes through the crowd and asks Derek where Chris is.

Nick starts to pack and tells Luci they’re leaving. He says faith is’t going to help when the shooting starts. She says Alejandro needs them. Nick says he won’t find any answers. Alejandro comes in and Nick asks if he cleaned it up well. He says Alejandro is frightened. Yesterday he was frightened of people leaving, and now he’s frightened of the bite. Luci asks what’s going on and Nick says he won’t be able to get her to leave unless Alejandro comes clean.

Alejandro says he’s not immune. Luci feels his forehead and says he’s warm. Nick says he’s infected. Luci says she saw him get bit before, and he says that’s what she wanted to believe. He says he told the story to build the place and protect people. Nick says he wanted them to build it to protect him, and he’s not committing suicide for a fraud. Alejandro says he brought Luci there under false pretenses, but the love is real. She’s his daughter. She says he’s dead to her.

Alejandro leaves and Luci tells Nick she’s not going. She says this place matters and it’s her home. Nick says she doesn’t have to die for it. She says they’ve fared better there than they did in the world. She says for most of them, it’s the first time they’ve had a family.

Ofelia trudges through the desert. Someone shoots at her. She hides behind a tree and gets the knife out. A guy with a rifle comes toward her. He makes her hand him the knife. He says welcome to America. I guess he’s the last of the border guards.

Madison takes Derek and Brandon to an office. Derek says he’ll tell them everything but can’t think with his shoulder the way it is. Andres pops it back into place. Travis asks what happened to Chris. Derek says he has to promise something first and Travis pulls on his arm. They want a car so they can get out. Madison says it’s done. He says he and Brandon were running on no sleep doing the driving and Chris volunteered. Derek says Chris must have dozed off the next thing they knew, they were rolling. He tells Travis that Chris was thrown from the car and dead when they found him. Travis is pretty upset and I’m not so sure this is the true story. He asks where Chris is. He says they pulled him out and buried him by the tree. Travis asks if he was thrown or they pulled him out. Brandon says he was thrown and Derek adds they pulled him to the tree. I actually don’t know which one is Derek and which one is Brandon, so I’m making that up as I go along. Why couldn’t one of them have died instead of Baby James?

Travis gets Madison and Andres out of the room, and locks the door. He proceeds to beat the crap out of Derek and Brandon. Madison bangs on the door telling him to stop. Derek says they killed Chris. They had to. We see Chris pulling himself from the car and his legs are all messed up. He starts crawling and Brandon shoots him. I’d say good riddance, but…

Travis kicks the crap out of Derek. Brandon tries to stop him, but he’s no match. Oscar has gotten the keys and tries to come in, but Travis slams the door on his head. Ouch. Brandon hits Travis over the head with a chair, but it only slows him down for a millisecond. He strangles Brandon until blood is coming out of his mouth. Damn. No more pacifism I guess. Travis kicks him in the head. His work is done. He’s lying in the exact same position Chris was in when he died.

Fear the Walking Dead – Part Two – Season Finale

Travis is tired after all that. He sits on the floor staring into space. Andres breaks in through the window. Madison tries to snap Travis out of it. Elena has Travis carted off. Madison follows. Andres says they’ll take him someplace safe. Victor tells Madison not to argue – it’s not helping. She asks Alicia for her knife. She goes into the office. She makes sure the guys are dead and then stabs them one in the eye and the other in the ear. Good. Now I don’t have to figure out who’s who anymore.

Luci tends to Alejandro. She says if the people find out, they’ll lose their faith and they’ll die like animals. She asks if he thought this day would come. He says beyond the walls is death and more death, and he did what he could to keep them together. She tells him he failed. He tells her Nick is right; it’s ending. Luci says only for him. She says he has to lie to them again before he goes.

Victor tells Madison that Travis failed her and put them in jeopardy. Madison says he’s lost too much to end up like this, and Victor it was her decree that he get put out. Alicia says after all this, he found them, but Victor says he can’t stay. Alicia says they can leave with him. They found this place and they’ll find another. Victor asks if she’s really going to leave for the man who abandoned her, and Madison asks him to come. Victor says he wouldn’t die for any of them. Aw, man, I like Victor.

Madison asks Andres how Oscar is. He says unconscious. Madison asks to give them until morning and they’ll never see them again. Elena agrees. Andres wants Travis out now, but Elena says Madison fought for them, and they should let her have Travis. She tells Madison they leave at dawn.

Madison goes to see Travis. She tells Alicia if she notices anything weird, to let her know. She tells Travis the plan. He says they can’t do this, but she says they’re not going to let him die. She says he found them and it was for a reason. He says it’s safe there and she says they’re leaving in the morning.

Nick has packed his ditty bag and is ready to go. He sees Luci and tells her to come with him. She asks where they’re going to go. He says they’ll find someplace safe until it isn’t anymore. He says the gang is going to slaughter them anyway. She says they’ll die no matter what and this is no place for boys, so run. Oh, snap!

Alicia approaches Andres. She wants to help, and asks if Oscar has regained consciousness yet. Nope. Andres says his pupils are dilated and he thinks Oscar’s brain is swelling. He’s going to have to take the pressure off. Hector is there and tells Alicia to get lost. Eeek! Andres cuts into Oscar’s skull and it disturbs me a million times more than the zombie biting the guy’s nose off.

Alejandro speaks to the people. He says the rumors they’ve heard are true. The men with guns are coming to kill them. It’s the evil of men that the earth is purging. They need their faith more than ever and must not fear. Nick looks down at the zombie wall from the top of the bus. Alejandro says anther destiny awaits them; they’ll overcome the evil and protect their home. More powerful than weapons or evil is their faith, and they have each other. Nick bloodies up and goes out. Alejandro says the time to defend what’s theirs is now. Nick sees a helicopter through his binoculars.

Andres slices into Oscars skull and I cringe.

Travis tells Madison whatever part of him she thinks is the same, it’s not. He says he’s not sorry they’re dead, and she says he shouldn’t be; they deserved it. She says she’s no better than Travis either; she’s worse. She says they’ve both killed. She tells him that she locked Cecelia in with her dead to protect Nick. She understands what he did and why. She says he’ll do it again because they have to. She can face it if he’s with her. He says he’s here.

Now Oscar is all messed up and Andres is upset. Hector says it’s not fair that the others are safe in their beds . Andres, who’s medical abilities are questionable at this point, pokes Oscar’s brain with a screwdriver or something.

Andres breaks into Madison’s room. They start to kick the crap out of Travis, and Madison says they’ll leave now. Andres pulls out a gun. He says Travis killed Oscar, but he had to deal with it. Travis tells them not to do this in front of Alicia and Madison. Then he goes berserk. Victor comes in with a gun and tells everyone to get out. He can’t believe what he’s seeing. He tells Madison and Travis to run now. They grab Alicia and go.

They get in a car, and Madison tells Victor to come. Instead, he hands her the gun. He says he’ll be okay and to get going now. They leave. Just in time. Travis drives right through the wrought iron gate. Victor watches. I’ll miss Victor. I hope we see you again.

Alicia looks traumatized and it’s silent in the car. Madison says they’ll be okay. She’s said that at least a dozen times already.

Alejandro looks like he’s going to shoot up. Nick walks in. Alejandro thought he left, but he says he saw something and came back. Yeah, the drugs. Alejandro is pretty shaky, so Nick helps him like the pro he is. He asks if Alejandro if he’s afraid of dying. Alejandro says he can still fight and still help. Nick says be brave, but careful, using the same words that Alejandro told him. If the gang comes and they’re still here, it’s over. He says Alejandro is being brave with other people’s lives, but Alejandro says he cares about his people. Nick says he wanted to be a great man and if he still wants it, give them permission to run. Alejandro asks where they’d run to and Nick says north. He saw a Medivac helicopter landing across the border. Nick says his people will never have to know. Alejandro says there’s a weight that comes with being a leader. Nick says he and Luci are up for the challenge. He says if Alejandro tells them to go, his people will live and he gets to die a beautiful death. He gives Alejandro the drugs. Alejandro slips into dreamland.

Travis stops at a bullet riddled gang supermarket. It’s empty. Madison says there was an office upstairs where Marco was asking about Colonia and Nick. It stinks in there, and it’s from the bodies of the family the gang killed. Madison says it’s the people who knew Nick. She rifles through their pockets for something that might tell them where the people lived. Alicia asks Madison what she’s doing. Well, I don’t think she’s looking for cash.

The Colonians better get moving. Here comes the gang. They break down the pre-wall wall and go into where the zombies are. They shoot a few and get into the bus. Marco thinks it’s too easy and the Colonians must have run. The place looks deserted. Yep, they’re gone. Maybe. It could be a trap.

Alejandro is still there, and spies on them. I’m wondering if he’s going to blow the place to smithereens with these guys in it. Marco says they left and hid like cucarachas. Alejandro goes into the bus, even though he can barely walk. He starts the bus. Marco is like what’s up with that noise? Alejandro drives the bus away from the gate, letting the zombies in. Ironically, he might be the only one alive after this.

Nice crane shot. Zombies and gang guys. The gang shoots at the zombies wasting a million more bullets. The gang leaves Marco there and run to hide like cucarachas.

The people of Colonia hit the streets bloodied up. They’re going north with Nick and Luci leading. Another crane shot. No expense was spared for this finale.

Commercial break. It’s the trailer for the new Gears of War game. Whoa. It’s pretty cool looking. I don’t play video games, but if I did, I’d play this one.

Travis, Madison and Alicia drive to Colonia. They tell Alicia to wait by the gate. She sees Alejandro in the bus and goes to investigate. Travis picks up guns as they walk through the town, but all they see are zombies. Madison says everyone is dead. They back up and leave the way they came. Alicia puts a jacket under Alejandro’s head. She says he’s alive…for now. Madison tells him that she’s looking for her son Nick. She asks if he’s still alive and Alejandro says border. He tells her Nick saw something and then breathes his last. Alicia gives Madison her knife.

Nick and crew walk through a billion cars at the border. Nick takes out his binoculars. He sees smoke in the distance and another helicopter. He says it looks like a refugee camp, maybe a couple of hours away. All of a sudden, they’re attacked by men with guns. Luci is hit. Nick grabs her and they hide behind a booth.

One of the guys finds them. Luci and Nick are separated and Nick gets a kick in the head.

See you next season!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Joe #2 thinks he hurt his back skiing. Dolores talks to him and Melissa about what she perceives as Robyn’s erratic behavior and says that they should ask her to leave. Siggy comes in and tells them that Jacqueline says she’s leaving if Robin doesn’t go. Melissa suggests they talk to Teresa to see what she wants to do, and Joe says this is better than the movies.

Dolores relays this information to Jacqueline. Jacqueline says Teresa can be frustrating, but she loves her. She starts getting weepy, saying that people want to latch on to Teresa. In her interview, Siggy says she thinks Jacqueline is making a bigger deal than necessary. She wants to protect Teresa, who hasn’t asked for protection. Jacqueline informs us that she just got her period, which might explain this emotional display over nothing.

Melissa tells Teresa that Jacqueline feels threatened by Robyn. In her interview, Teresa says Jacqueline is playing the victim and didn’t act threatened at the time. We flash back and nope, she didn’t. Teresa says she’s not asking Robyn to leave. Robyn comes to Teresa’s room and says she’s leaving because she wants everyone to have a good time. Teresa is bummed and says she’d rather be off somewhere just hanging out with Melissa. In the car with Melissa and Joe #2 on the way to dinner, Teresa says Jacqueline instigated things, even sitting on Robyn. Yep, she did.

The group meets at a restaurant. Teresa sits as far away from Jacqueline as possible. She asks if they noticed two people are missing. Jacqueline wonders how Teresa feels about that. Teresa says she doesn’t think Jacqueline felt threatened, since she even sat on Robyn. Jacqueline says Robyn said she wanted to rage on her ass, so she was giving it to her because she’s so accommodating.

Teresa asks why Robyn would say that in the first place? Jacqueline says she doesn’t know and she offered to leave. Teresa calls her calculated, which I believe translates to calculating. Teresa says Jacqueline thinks that Robyn has a reputation, but she isn’t aware of any. Jacqueline gets up and puts her coat on. Chris says Teresa and Jacqueline have known each other a long time, and Teresa should trust her since her heart is in the right place. Siggy says no one knows how the situation started. Jacqueline says it doesn’t matter, but if they had both stayed there would have been a fight, creating a problem for Teresa who’s on probation. Teresa says Jacqueline should have just walked away. Teresa suggests maybe Jacqueline wanted a “soldier” and was disappointed. Jacqueline feels that Teresa has hangers-on that are using her and those are the people she calls soldiers. Jacqueline suddenly starts asking Melissa if she didn’t track down the rumor mongers who’d said Melissa was a stripper. And there goes Jacqueline’s finger in Melissa’s face. Melissa tells her to chill. Jacqueline gets louder and Melissa says Jacqueline is secretly pissed that she and Teresa are getting along. Jacqueline says Melissa is full of it. In her interview, Jacqueline says Melissa is acting weird and calls her a soldier. To her face, she calls Melissa a fake, phony bitch. Everyone’s mouths are hanging open. Joe’s eyes bug out and I literally lol. Jacqueline whips out her phone to call I don’t know who for support. In his interview, Chris says Jacqueline is hurt, and he thinks Melissa and Teresa don’t give a flying.

Melissa asks what she did to Jacqueline. Jacqueline gets even louder, saying Melissa wouldn’t answer her question, so she’s not answering either. Teresa asks Siggy if she thinks this is normal behavior. Melissa tells Jacqueline there’s been something wrong with her for a while. Siggy says Jacqueline feels that no one has her back. Teresa says she doesn’t like Jacqueline getting in Melissa’s face because it makes her feel threatened. Jacqueline gets up, yelling like a banshee, calling Teresa a criminal, and flings her whole arm around. She says Teresa is a twisted bitch who hated Melissa. In her interview, she welcomes the real Teresa home and calls her a psychopathic narcissistic sociopath who is trying to rewrite history with lies. All this over basically nothing. Jacqueline leaves the restaurant with Chris in tow, because she’s best at being a rude a-hole and then running away.

When they get outside, I can’t believe that Chris tells Jacqueline she was attacked. Melissa says a good person would be happy for them and Jacqueline is jealous of her and Teresa’s friendship. Siggy tries to fix it by explaining how Jacqueline feels. Teresa says Jacqueline shouldn’t have been sitting on Robyn, but Siggy says that Robyn did start it. Dolores says Jacqueline was crying all day about how she loves Teresa. Joe #2 says they need to knock that stuff off and talks about how nasty Jacqueline was when Teresa came home. In her interview, Teresa says she should have seen it coming and brings up Jacqueline’s past fights, including punching Caroline in the face. Melissa says she thinks Jacqueline really hates Teresa. Siggy says Jacqueline is fragile and Teresa says she’s f-ing fragile.

Back at Teresa’s house, Joe #1 and the girls get take-out. Audriana says she wishes daddy had more days before he leaves. Joe says he’s going to get skinny. Melania suggests his belly is too stretched out to get small again. She says he’s fatter than pregnant people because she’s ever the soul of tact. He gives the girls instructions and says he’s going to be checking on them every day.

In the car, Jacqueline says she’s not crying because she sees them for who they are now. Oh, the drama from this girl.

Dolores says that she bets if they knock on the door, Jacqueline won’t open it. She hopes Chris is up and we see him snoring. Siggy sees the bags packed. She says no one hears where Jacqueline is coming from, and Jacqueline says a lot of nasty stuff about Teresa, claiming she and Melissa don’t deserve her in their lives. I agree, but not for the same reasons.

Melissa says she hasn’t been yelled like that since high school and it was the same level of rancor as if she had been sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend.

Siggy says she can’t make people like each other. She says Jacqueline is upset about Kathy and Rosie. She just wants to know that Teresa and Melissa have her back. In her interview, Dolores says she knew this was coming, but poor Siggy didn’t. OMG – Siggy goes on and on and on about it and how she’d walk home if she could. She says she doesn’t want to jet around Vermont tomorrow, but Dolores suggests she sleep on it.

Teresa calls Joe #1 and tells him how Jacqueline got in Melissa’s face and then called her a criminal. HA-HA-HA! Joe says he had a hard on before she started talking to him about Jacqueline. TMI, but funny.

Dolores tells Siggy that Jacqueline left and Siggy says she’s jealous.

Melissa says she doesn’t feel like she lost a friend, but like she never had one. She thinks Jacqueline just kept her around to keep an eye on her. Teresa says she puts her friends on the spot, which isn’t a true friend.

Melissa and Teresa go to Siggy and Dolores’s room. Siggy says she’s leaving today. She’s overwhelmed. In her interview, she has to bring out a little fan because talking about Vermont giving her a hot flash. Really, this isn’t that big a deal. She says this group of women don’t belong together. Melissa says they came here to give Teresa some fun. Siggy says she’s about peace, not war. Teresa asks Dolores to weigh in and she gets ridiculous, pounding on the counter, saying she’s stressed and needs to be alone. Okay, Greta Garbo. Teresa says she understands and they leave. Siggy says she’s relieved.

Jacqueline is trying to decompress. Chris says it’s good to step away from toxic environments. Kathy drops by and before five seconds go by, Jacqueline and Chris talk about Jacqueline being attacked. Chris says Jacqueline was hurt and they had the wrong person’s back. Jacqueline says she called Teresa a criminal when she meant to say con artist. Like this makes it better.

Melissa and Teresa go on a skycar ride and they both start screaming before it even gets going. Teresa talks about Joe #1 going to prison and how she doesn’t want to deal with it. She just pushes the thoughts and feelings away. They both get teary and Melissa says she’ll get through it. Teresa says the beginning was the hardest and Joe cried every time he visited. Melissa says they’ve been through a lot together. Teresa says she’s thankful for Melissa’s support and she can feel the love. Melissa jokes about how they started off the trip with so many people. She says they’re not going to let other people ruinng them any longer.

Next time, Dolores wants to know if Jacqueline is done, Melissa tells Siggy to watch her back, Kim D gets air time, and Melissa confronts Derek.

Oct1

September 30, 2016 – Paul’s Murder Spree is at an End, a Postmaster Meets His End & End of the Week Quotes

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian tells his crony Pete that while he’s been exonerated, he doesn’t exactly have his life back and needs to gain his family’s trust. This is beyond an understatement and is just more proof of how delusional he is. Sam comes to the door. She tells Julian they have a lot to talk about.

At the gym, Sonny talks to his crony Billy. He wants Julian to have an accident. At least he’s not whining about his family. The most annoying thing about Julian is that he whines all the time. Jason shows up at the gym and says he has a way to fix the Julian problem.

Carly gives Morgan a present.

Dillon comes to the MetroCourt and tells Kiki he’s there to meet Anna. She’s not there yet, so they talk about Morgan going back to school and how great it is. Anna arrives. She asks Dillon if he knows where his father is. She says it’s imperative that she find out where Paul is and to keep it under the radar.

Tracy tells Paul they share a beautiful son. He thanks her for listening and apologizes, but he’s still wrapping his tie around his hands. She says she knows he doesn’t want to do this, and he says of course he doesn’t. She says killing her isn’t going to solve anything. It will only guarantee he’ll die too. I’m intrigued.

Sonny tells Jason he’s got the situation with Julian handled. He says he’s brought in a third party, and when Julian dies, he’ll be as surprised as everyone else. I guess this is the mob’s way of subcontracting.

Morgan opens the box. It’s a jade necklace, to promote wisdom, balance and peace. If that worked, we’d all have one. Morgan says he doesn’t deserve it, but Carly says she’s proud of him. She says he’s making really good choices for himself. He puts the necklace on. They hug. Carly suggests he stay home and have dinner with her since everyone else is MIA. He says he has plans with Kiki, but thanks her again.

Anna asks Dillon to just trust her and he asks if Paul is in danger. She says no; it involves Susan. She says they believe there’s a link between the hospital murders and his sister. Dillon says Tracy was concerned about how Sabrrrina’s death affected Paul. He said she thought there was some connection to Susan, but it didn’t make any sense.

Tracy asks Paul what happens to Susan if he’s dead. She says if the authorities don’t make him pay, Luke will. He thinks Luke is dead, but she tells him Luke is very much alive. He says Luke will have to solve it first. She tells him Dante said there will be DNA evidence and if she disappears, this will be the first place anyone looks. She says he needs her help and she can only help him if she’s alive. Good point. Although that’s assuming she’s dealing with someone to who is logical.

Ava comes by Sonny’s house and Carly asks why she’s there. She has something for Avery. It’s a dress that looks about ten sizes too big. She wants to leave it in Avery’s room, but Carly says she doesn’t want Avery to wake up. Ava says Carly should understand her wanting to look in on Avery, especially since Morgan has been volatile lately.

Sam tells Julian he’s psychotic and that a relationship with Alexis isn’t going to happen again. She says a restraining order is in place and no one wants him in Port Charles. He tried to kill Alexis, and there’s nothing left for him there. He needs to leave.

Jason asks Sonny what if he didn’t need to kill Julian; what if he just disappeared? He tells Sonny that Sam is going to talk to him. Sonny says Julian wants to win, and as long as he lets Julian roam the streets, he’s vulnerable. He says he’s not the only target – there’s also Carly and the kids. He understands Jason is out of the business, but he’d do the same in Sonny’s position. Sonny says he tried doing it through the legal system, but it failed, so he has to go another way.

Morgan is working on his laptop at the MetroCourt. Kiki reminds him that it’s not a coffee shop. He flashes back to what Dillon said about the website catching cheaters. He tells her he’s just checking to see if his paper was graded yet. She has to get back to work and tells him to quit worrying – it’s not going to give him a grade any faster. He makes a call to Spinelli. He says he’s in a jam and is hoping Spinelli can help.

Dillon tells Anna that Tracy wanted to track down Susan. She was somewhere near the Finger Lakes and Tracy went looking for her. That’s the last they talked. Anna asks if she’s still there and Dillon says maybe.

Tracy tells Paul it’s one thing for Dillon to be disillusioned, but another to find out Paul is a serial killer. Paul says don’t call him that. Semantics. Tracy brings up Paul’s reasoning that this would make Susan better. He says those who have hurt her are gone and now she’s safe. Tracy says she doesn’t agree with his methods, but understands his motive, and is willing to cover things up. Her phone rings and Paul says if she wants him to trust her, not to answer it.

Sonny tells Jason that he’s made the decision and has no choice. Jason asks to be heard out. He says Sam hates Julian, but he’s still her father and saved Danny with the bone marrow transplant. He says if this is going to happen, it can’t be traced back to Sonny. He asks who the broker is, so he can check them out.

Julian tells Sam it’s not going to happen. She says his being here is killing her and her mother. She asks him to do the right thing and disappear for the people he says he loves. He talks about his business being there. She says he can’t go back to that, and if he stays in Port Charles he’ll die.

Carly says Morgan’s mental health is none of Ava’s business. Ava says he’s dating one of her daughters, and his illness often manifests itself in bad decisions and violence. Carly says he’s on medication and doing fine. Ava tells Carly she’s glad he’s following doctor’s orders, but then mentions how he attacked Julian. Carly says it doesn’t make him crazy to have a problem with Julian. Ava says a lot of people don’t like Julian, but Morgan is the only one who acted on it. Carly tells her go see Avery. In the hallway, Ava takes a bag of pills out of her purse and looks at them. She tells herself to stay the course.

Morgan tells Spinelli he needs to get his paper off of the website. He says there’s a zero tolerance policy for cheating and he’s over if he gets caught.

Paul tells Tracy to hand him the phone. Instead, she screams into it. Paul says thanks for clearing up any doubts he had, and smashes the phone with his foot. Dillon asks Anna if his mother is okay. She’s fine. That’s why she’s screaming.

Sam says Julian ordered the hit on Duke and tried to kill Alexis, who is also Kristina’s mother. She’s trying to stop the mess that will be created, but Julian thinks she’s worried about him. She says she has nothing but contempt for him, but she’s seen enough bloodshed and doesn’t want his added to it. He asks what she knows and how he can protect himself.

Sonny says he has no one on his payroll like Jason who he can trust, so he has to work with what he’s got. Jason says sorry, but Sonny says it’s okay, he should keep his promise, but guys like himself can’t just walk away. He says however peaceful Jason’s life is, it never hurts to keep practicing. Lots of valid points today.

Ava tells Carly that Avery is an absolute angel. She says she knows Carly loves Avery, but she’s caught between two potentially dangerous men, Julian and Sonny. Carly says Julian threatened Sonny, but Ava says there’s a difference between hot air and bullets, and she doesn’t want Avery caught in any crossfire.

Tracy tells Paul that it was Anna on the phone and she’s going to trace the call. Paul comes after her and she starts screaming. Someone is at the door and asks if everything is all right. Yeah, never mind that screaming. Paul opens the door and it’s another guest wondering if everything is okay. Paul tries to blow him off, but he says he heard a woman screaming. Paul gives the old loud TV excuse, saying he was watching a horror film, and is glad it wasn’t a porno. Paul closes the door. He has a gag in Tracy’s mouth and says that was close.

Morgan tells Kiki that he was asking Spinelli about jailbreaking his phone because he wanted to play a game. Ava comes into the bar and Kiki says she’ll be back. Ava asks if she’d like to have a movie night, but Kiki has plans with Morgan. Ava says she’s surprised, after the way he attacked Julian. She suggests Morgan is out of control.

Sonny comes home and Carly tells him about Ava’s visit, saying Avery was an excuse. She says Ava’s real agenda was to tell her Morgan needs to get himself under control .She says as much as she hates Ava, she might have a point. Sonny says Morgan is on edge, Julian got in his face and deserved what he got. Carly says Ava was also concerned about Avery getting caught in a crossfire. Sonny says don’t worry, but Carly says she knows him and what he’s not saying. She knows Julian threw down and he’s going to answer. She asks him not to make a move against Julian.

Julian says Sam must have overheard something and asks if Sonny recruited Jason. Sam says she doesn’t know anything except that Julian went back to the business he promised not to. She says you either win or die, and if he comes at Sonny, he’ll die. She suggests he leave immediately. No one will look for him. They just want to forget he existed. Ouch. Although Julian will translate that into, I’ll love you forever, papa.

Paul says this is worse than Sabrrrina. Tracy is Dillon’s mother and Dillon loves her. He hesitates. He says he can’t do it this way and takes out a syringe. He says it’s the least he can do for everything he’s put her through. Anna busts in and tells him to drop it. Man, she got to the Finger Lakes fast.

Anna tells him to step away. He tells her to put the gun down. She asks if it’s all about Susan. He says no matter how well trained she is, she won’t be able to shoot him before he puts the needle in Tracy’s neck. I’ll bet she can.

Kiki tells Ava that Morgan’s number one priority is staying well. Ava says he’ll take a turn, and it won’t be for the better. Kiki asks how she would know that.

Spinelli can’t get the paper down off the website and Morgan asks if he can find out if they’ve seen it yet. He gets another call. He he tells them that he can be at the office in the morning.

Sam goes to the gym. She asks Jason how his talk with Sonny went. Not well. Sam says ditto for Julian, who wants his family back and doesn’t want to go anywhere. Jason says it’s on him now. Sam is worried that Julian won’t be the only one who gets hurt.

Crony Pete asks how it went, and Julian says it wasn’t good, but it reminded him to be more careful. Sonny is preparing to take him out and they have to make sure nothing happens.

Carly tells Sonny that she doesn’t trust the situation. It puts them at risk and there are other options. He can stop Julian’s shipments or take out his credibility, but taking him out will only cause pain. Sonny gives his word that if Julian comes to an unfortunate end, it won’t be on his hands.

Paul is talking so much, just shoot him. Dillon comes running in. He says if Paul kills his mother, he’ll have to kill him too. Paul’s head is going to explode.

On Monday, Morgan runs away before, Lucy asks if GH is for sale, and Scotty knows who the killer is (well, so do we – where has he been?).

Z Nation

Murphy finds the only traffic jam in the apocalypse. He’s stuck behind a couple with a little girl who is dying. The father is about to give her mercy, when Murphy opens the car door. He says he thinks he can help. When we next see her, the little girl is alive with a bite mark on her cheek.

Escorpion/Hector thinks they should take a break from looking for Murphy and look for some gas. Dr. Sun is getting a GPS signal that Murphy is close by, but they don’t see his car. Addie dispatches a zombie, and the transmitter is in his chest. Foiled by Murphy again. Operation Bite Mark (now minus 10K) looks for supplies.

It’s puppies and kittens when the gang sees a mail truck surrounded by pawing zombies. There’s a guy inside. Roberta goes forward with her machete, and the guy tells her not to mercy them. He rolls down the window and throws a piece of meat out. The zombies follow it. He gets out of the truck and tells OBM that he’s from the US Postal Service, and to follow him if they want to live. Neither snow, nor rain, nor zombie hordes, quips Doc.

The postman asks what they want. Roberta says they’re not bandits and they just need supplies. The postman says he’ll help them if they don’t kill any zombies. He adds that they’re so slow, anyone who gets killed by them is an idiot. He leads them into the safest building in town, a post office that’s also a civil defense shelter.

Citizen Z is doing exercises and Kia calls him on cheating. She tells him they need to get him back in shape so he can get back on the air. He says he’s super grateful, but there are no more transmitters. He doesn’t even know if there’s anyone to listen. Kia says she and Nana would listen and makes him jog.

The Murphymobile stops. He wants to take in the view. Spokane, Home of the 1974 World’s Fair. He says it’s perfect. 10K doesn’t look too happy.

Addie asks the postman if he’s alone and he says he has his friends and neighbors. He doesn’t have the heart to mercy them and doesn’t want to be by himself. He says he was postmaster for 17 years, knew all of them and everything about them. He has a Christmas tree up and says he opens a few cards every year. He offers OBM some fruitcake. At one point, he calls the zombies “walkers,” and I wonder if it’s a nod to Walking Dead, since no one has ever called them that on this show.

He asks what they need. Roberta says gas, food and water, and they’ll be on their way. Addie asks if there’s a radio anywhere and he says yes. He asks for help with pushing his truck in return and makes them agree to no mercy of any kind.

10K tells Murphy he’s insane. Murphy says just the opposite, giving the definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different outcome. He says he’s been with OBM long enough and it’s time for something completely different. He tells 10K he’ll see the wisdom of his actions and thank him later. As they walk past some zombies, Murphy says they won’t hurt 10K now because 10K is with him. 10K says he’ll never be with Murphy. Murphy thinks 10K will change his mind.

They walk across a bridge and 10K thinks about throwing himself off and into the rapids. He leans forward, but Murphy puts a hand on his shoulder. He tells 10K it will be okay.

The postmaster leads OBM to the motor pool and the radio. Hector tells postmaster that one day the zombies are going to eat his brains.

Addie, Doc and Dr. Sun go to where the radio is. A zombie pops out and Dr. Sun dispatches it, saying they have work to do. Dr. Sun has a way to power the radio, but for only a short amount of time. She wants to contact her superiors, but Addie wants to contact Citizen Z. Addie threatens Dr. Sun, but Doc says the world doesn’t need another zombie.

Kia fiddles with the radio. Citizen Z says it’s been months since he’s had contact with anyone. He says there’s no one out there and Kia starts to cry. She says since he came she’s had hope, and without it, she doesn’t know what happens. He says just because Citizen Z is dead doesn’t mean hope is dead. They’re still alive. They hear something on the radio. Citizen Z tunes in some music and they dance.

Dr. Sun hears the same music. She says it’s a signal when all other means of communication have failed. It means the mission is over and everyone is dead. Addie asks to try the radio. She calls Citizen Z. He and Kia hear her. Citizen Z says Addie is still alive.

Citizen Z answers and asks if OBM copies. Addie can’t hear him and keeps asking if he copies. The transmitter dies. Hector and Roberta have managed to get the truck going. The postmaster picks the others up. Doc tells Roberta that Dr. Sun’s people are dead and Addie says there’s no word on Citizen Z.

Citizen Z talks about what it was like at Camp Northern Lights. He says he’s not proud of everything he did, but he tried. He gave his all and has no more to give. Kia’s uncle comes in for dinner. He’s been working on getting a seaplane going. Citizen Z is the only one with a plate of food. Kia says they’ve learned to live on less and he needs his strength. He divvies up the food and it’s gone in a blink. He asks how much food they have left. Kia shows him the cupboard and he says it’s enough for a couple of months at best, but he knows where they can get more.

The postmaster wants to untangle the town librarian from her car. They stop. OBM stays with the truck, but zombies are coming from everywhere. The zombies focus on the postmaster, but ignore the others. Dr. Sun says there’s something about him they’re after and it’s not the chum he throws to them. Roberta thinks they should take a closer look at him.

Murphy gets excited over the Museum of Progress, thinking there will be cool stuff they can use. Looters have gotten there first and the place is stripped clean. Murphy likes the space though. They walk around. Murphy picks out a lab for Merch and a nursery for Lucy. He chooses a room with a view of a waterfall for his inner sanctum and makes plans for the future. He says he can see his whole world from here. He also picks out a throne room.

They hear noises. The two soldiers go to investigate. There’s a scuffle and a soldier and (we assume) a zombie fight. One soldier ends up shooting the other one, and the zombie turns out to be a human. Murphy tells 10K to shoot him, but 10K says no. Against his will, he fires the gun, but there are no bullets. Murphy goofs around with the gun and the guy gets shot anyway.

Hector disarms the postmaster. Dr. Sun asks why the zombies are attracted to him. He says they were his friends. OBM isn’t buying it. They look for bites or signs of infection. Dr Sun asks him a bunch of questions. She wants to take his blood to see if it will give them an explanation. She can’t find anything. The postmaster wants them out and says he’ll give them supplies. Roberta says okay, but he can’t have his gun back.

He leads them to the supplies in the shelter. Way, way, way in the basement. He has Roberta hold the light. We see a dead mail carrier and then another one. They’ve been shot before they turned. The postmaster opens the door and a bunch of zombies pop out. He locks OBM in. Hector kicks zombie ass in the dark. Addie puts a hole through a zombie’s head. Doc shoots another one. Roberta tells them to meet the real postmaster, showing them another body. She says the people didn’t all die; they were executed. Always the jokester, Doc says somebody went postal.

Dr. Sun continues to check out the blood. The postmaster walks in, and she tells him the zombies aren’t following him because of anything in his blood. He says he tried to tell her that, now he’ll have to show her.

The postmaster brings Dr. Sun downstairs to some kind of workroom. It has body parts everywhere. He calls it an abattoir or slaughterhouse. She says he’s crazy, but he says they’re the ones looking for a blue guy. He says they’re strangers that he’s feeding to his friends and neighbors. Dr. Sun says it’s more like the zombies are trophies. He says he knew she was the smartest and he wanted her for her big brain. She says she’ll help him with his work, but he’s not having it. He says he hated these people. He delivered postcards from vacations he’ll never go on, birthday cards that were never for him, and love letters no one would want to write to him. He says he was just the mailman, who delivered checks late and stepped in dog sh*t. He says on the first day of the apocalypse, he shot all of them, starting with his boss. He shot them in the heart so he could watch them turn. Now they know who he is because he was the last thing they saw before they turned, but they still have to be fed.

Dr. Sun distracts the postmaster by throwing a jar of something at him. She picks up a butter knife and tells him to stay away. He tells her the door is locked, but she’s pretty fast and unlocks it with the knife before he can shoot. She lets all the zombies in and they descend on the postmaster.

Dr Sun finds OBM. Doc says the postmaster’s mail is certifiable. Dr. Sun tells them he’ll be spending quality time with his friends and neighbors.

Citizen Z, Kia and family load up sleds, along with Pup.

Roberta says the postmaster was the last thing they saw before they died, and maybe deep in their souls, they hated him. Dr. Sun says zombies have no souls, but Roberta says if that’s the case, why are they given mercy? Doc says the mailman licked the wrong stamp, and off they go. The postmaster is now a zombie, with only a stump for one arm.

Murphy surveys his kingdom and says something about this feels so right. Merch tells him someone is there to see him, the family of the little girl. He tells Merch to send them away, but they come in and thank him for giving them back their daughter. The father says she’s not just cured, she’s not afraid anymore. The little girl goes to Murphy and hugs him.

The father asks him to bite his wife. Murphy smiles.

Next time, Murphy says a cure is coming, OBM continues on Murphy’s trail, and Murphy intends to save humanity with zombie blends.

Quotes of the Week

I’m not feeding these people diamonds. — Ryan Serhant when he finds out his wedding budget is going to be a million dollars, on Million Dollar Listing.

The best way to execute French cooking is to get good and loaded and whack the hell out of a chicken. Bon appétit. — Julia Child

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it. — Maya Angelou

 

Sep30

September 29, 2016 – A Dose of Pre-weekend GH

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan tells Griff he’s not surprised to see him. He opens the DNA test results.

Laura sits down on a flight and Doc sits next to her. He says he’s been trying to find a way to see her.

Jason wakes up Sam. She says she was just lying down for a minute and it’s been four hours. I know what that’s like. He asks if she’s hungry and says there’s leftover spaghetti from what he fed the kids.

Anna finds a pair of cufflinks the size of a small planet in Paul’s drawer. She calls Jordan and tells her to get over to Paul’s room. There’s something she needs to see.

Paul tells Tracy he can’t let her leave. She says if he’s changed his mind about dinner, he can go back to the hospital and she can go home. He says he knows she was outside Susan’s door and she knows that he’s been killing for Susan.

Sam says she’s never seen her mother hung over before, and now she’s seen it twice in as many days. She says Alexis’s problem isn’t the drinking though, it’s that Julian destroyed her life. Now he’s been acquitted and it’s like a slow-motion nightmare she can’t get out of. Jason asks how they can stop it.

Laura says she’s switching seats, but Doc tells her the flight is booked and she’s stuck with him until they land. She asks how he secured the seat next to her and he tells her that he’s a junior Jedi when it comes to talking people into things. He says it was the only way he could think of to spend one-on-one time with her. She says after everything they’ve been through together, after they make love, she finds out he’s written about things she told him in confidence. He gives her his manuscript and asks her to look at it.

According to the paternity test, Nathan is Claudette’s baby daddy. Claudette says of course, and Griff says an hour ago she wasn’t sure. Claudette says in her heart she knew, and Maxie asks what heart? She wants to know why the one time Claudette tells the truth, it’s this time.

Jordan gets to Paul’s room. Anna tells her Paul isn’t there, and explains how she got in. She tells Jordan how she found the cufflinks.

Tracy says yes, she heard Paul, but she’s too selfish to turn him in. He asks why he should believe her, and she says because they have a son. They can either be civilized co-conspirators or she can leave. He says he can’t take the risk. She says no one can know because of Dillon, and makes the mistake of telling him that no one knows she’s there. I say, “Oh sh*t, Tracy!” out loud. She asks why he did it. He says he’s been meting out justice since he returned to Port Charles.

Jason says the only way Julian is going to leave for good is if he wants to, and Sam is going to make him want to.

Doc’s book is about social media and adolescents. Laura asks what about the other book. She adds that she has Spencer on her mind. She was hoping for a peaceful ride home, and she’s grateful that her innermost thoughts won’t be shared with the world. She tells Doc that she was going to see him when she got back and gives him something from Spencer. It’s a note from the “noble patriarch of the family,” thanking him for what he did for Laura in Greece and taking a bullet for her. Doc says he looks forward to reading it. Laura says she does think about Greece a lot and how Doc protected her.

Maxie wonders if Claudette could have tampered with the test, but Nathan says, sorry, it’s real. He made sure of it. Maxie tells him to stay and do what he needs to do for himself and his daughter. She says with a mother like Claudette, Charlotte needs a father like him. She says they’ll figure it out together later and leaves.

Claudette tells Nathan she knows how hard this must be for the both of them. Nathan tells her to skip the apologies and wants to see Charlotte asap. He asks where she is.

Anna shows Jordan the clippings and Jordan says it’s circumstantial. Anna says she would agree, but they know Paul has killed before.

Paul says Susan is the light of his life. He tells Tracy about each person and how they were involved with Susan’s downfall. A pharmacist, someone who kicked her out of rehab after a slip, and Sloan the rapist. He says after the rape, she went to GH and saw Monica, who is the last person responsible who’s still alive, but she won’t be for long.

Doc asks how Spencer is doing and Laura says he’s unstoppable, but more important, he’s safe. She says she investigated the school thoroughly, and is convinced it’s secure. Doc says Spencer is lucky to have her in his life.

Maxie gets home and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Griff. He asks if she’s okay and she says no. She says she’s not his responsibility, but he says she was just blindsided by something that involves him. He says if there’s any way to make amends, he wants to do it. She tells him short of building a time machine, there isn’t anything he can do. She collapses in his arms crying.

Nathan tells Claudette to arrange for him to see Charlotte safely, but she’s resistant.

Anna brings up Paul’s murder of Sloan, but Jordan says it’s a far cry from him being a serial killer. Anna says he was cold-blooded and methodical about how he covered his tracks, and it lines up with the profile. She says there were no articles kept about Sabrrrina or Lucas, and they had figured them to be unplanned collateral damage. She tells Jordan that they have to figure out the common denominator.

Paul says Susan told the ER she had been raped. Dr. Mays screwed up her rape kit and the only witness (another murder victim) refused to testify. He says Monica told Susan that without a proper rape kit, they couldn’t do an investigation. Tracy says that’s not Monica’s fault and to leave her out of it. Paul says Monica remembered his cologne and it’s time for him to tie up every loose end.

Sam tells Jason that the last time she saw Julian, she slapped him in the face and said he disgusted her. She says she’s willing to talk to Julian if Jason talks to Sonny. She wants Jason to make him see all the ways it could go wrong if he goes after Julian.

Maxie says maybe down the road, she’ll see this as something that made her marriage stronger. She says she thinks Griff is a good person, and can’t figure out how he and Nathan got involved with someone like Claudette.

Nathan wants to know why Claudette is stalling and talking in circles. He says if she won’t tell him where Charlotte is, he’ll turn her into the authorities.

Anna thinks all the murder victims are connected to Susan’s past. Jordan suggests they contact her. Anna says Paul mentioned that Susan needed professional help and wonders if there’s a connection to the social worker who was murdered.

Tracy says what happened to Susan was horrible and the people involved should be held accountable. Paul thanks her for understanding, but says Sabrrrina and Elizabeth weren’t supposed to die. He’s glad Elizabeth will be okay, but he feels guilty about Sabrrrina, and will have to live with it. Tracy says not to make Dillon live with it. Paul promises Dillon will never know, because she won’t be able to tell him. He can’t let her walk out of there alive. As opposed to walking out of there dead.

Doc shows Laura the final draft of the book about her. He says it will never be published and it’s the only copy, for her eyes only. She says she’s not interested, but he tells her to just read the inscription. It talks about her being the bravest and most fascinating women he’s ever known and how she’s faced every challenge with fortitude and grace.

Griff says Claudette could be loving. Maxie stops him and says she appreciates him trying to answer, but he’s focused on finding the good in Claudette. That doesn’t make him a bad person, but delusional. She says look how Claudette just dropped a bomb on all of them.

Claudette says when Nathan shot Griff, she hadn’t realized he could be pushed that far. Griff walked out, and Charlotte was the one good thing she got to keep and she didn’t want to share her. Nathan asks what changed, and she says she got involved with a very bad man. She’s scared to tell him where Charlotte is, and she doesn’t scare easily. Nathan asks her to tell him everything about the man.

Jordan can’t track down Susan. Anna has contacted the WSB and found out there’s a connection with the rehab. Jordan says she’ll get a search warrant. Anna agrees, even though she has reason to search already. She’s going to stay and stall Paul if he gets back. Jordan leaves and Anna keeps looking around. She finds some mail. A statement from the psychiatric hospital is in the pile. It’s called Celestial something and I think of the tea.

Tracy tells Paul she’s willing to be an accomplice to a series of murders in order to not traumatize Dillon, so don’t traumatize him by killing his mother. Paul says she has a point. He says what he’s doing is important and when he’s finished, Susan will come back. He picks up one of his ties and starts twirling it around in his hands. Tracy says she thought he was seriously misguided, but never thought he was crazy. She tells him that Susan isn’t suddenly going to get better because he killed some people. He says the bottom line is that he’s going to kill Monica and if Tracy leaves, she’ll try to save her.

Sam and Jason talk about Jason’s friendship with Sonny. Sam says no one was as good as Jason, and now that he’s not working for Sonny anymore, mistakes could be made. If something goes wrong, it could be traced back to Sonny. She says Carly has changed too. She can’t take the violence any more, and wants Sonny to handle things in a different way. Sam says Carly is a mom and if her kids are in danger, she might leave. She wants Jason to get Sonny to understand that leaving Julian alone is his best option. She calls Kristina to babysit so they can do this tonight

Anna calls someone, saying she needs their help and it’s urgent

Paul thanks Tracy for listening. He says he’s sorry and tells her good-by.

Laura tells Doc the book was positive and not painful at all. He says he calls it as he sees it. She says she needs time until she knows how she feels, and he says okay.

Maxie says she’s done talking about Claudette and if Griff wants to hear Claudette’s epic tale of woe, to ask her. And then come back so they can compare notes to see where she’s lying. Griff asks what in particular bothers her about Claudette’s story and Maxie says, everything. Ever the optimist, she says as bad as today has gone, it’s going to get worse.

Claudette tells Nathan that once he hears the man’s name, he’ll know why she’s scared. It’s Valentin.

I knew it! All along I’ve wondered if it’s him. For one thing, they didn’t hire some big soap name for just a few episodes. I knew it.

Tomorrow, Anna needs to find Paul, Morgan needs help, Jason talks to Sonny, and Sam tells Julian to get out of town.

🗽 Million Dollar Listing: New York is back with Ryan’s wedding. Kevin Lee is the wedding planner, so it’s going to be a million dollar wedding as well. The destination is Greece, and Luis manages to cause trouble by being overly helpful. Tonight was only the second episode, and I think Ryan already wishes they could elope.

Sep29

September 28, 2016 – GH’s Anna is Back Home, Little LA’s Terra Finally Gets in Her Home & AHS/RHPS Tidbits

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna is home! She wants to find out what the hell has been going on.

The scene with Paul, Susan, and the birthday cake is repeated. He tells her that except for Monica Quartermaine, he’s killed them all. He blows out the candles and Susan reacts. He asks her what is it, but it’s probably that she saw Tracy peeking around the door.

Curtis works out at the gym hitting a punching bag. Nothing important, but his hot body is duly noted

Nathan apologizes to Maxie for the crazy situation. She tells him the only crazy is Claudette and he has nothing to apologize for. She mentions how Claudette talked to his mother without a heads up, and Claudette comes out of nowhere and says she thought it was the right thing to do.

Griff welcomes Anna back. They sit down to eat at Kelly’s and talk about Julian. Anna says he’ll never be brought to justice now. Griff says he knew she’d be disappointed, but she says more like angry and confused. She tells him she’s sorry they couldn’t get justice for Duke. Griff says he’s sorry for the loss of Sabrrrina. Anna says the hardest thing was explaining it to Emma. She tells Griff that she’s spent the better part of her life upholding the law and now it’s failed her all over the place.

Paul asks Susan what’s going on. Tracy runs to the elevator and gets in. The door closes. Then it opens back up and Paul is standing there. I make a noise out loud. Tracy smiles.

Nathan tells Maxie to go do her conference call and he’ll talk to Claudette. Claudette tells Nathan that she hasn’t handled things in the best way. She realizes that she wants him to be a real father to their daughter and hopes that he does too.

Anna tells Griff she spoke to Dante about Sabrrrina’s murder. The consensus is that Sabrrrina figured out who attacked Monica and was killed for it. Griff tells her that Monica is going to be okay. He asks about the cufflink, but Anna says nothing yet, and all they have is a picture. She says when she left, they had an airtight case against Julian, so how did everything evaporate, including his confession? Jordan walks in and Anna asks what the hell happened with Julian.

Tracy tells Paul she came to see Susan. She explains how she found out where Susan was. She’s pretty good at this because I would never guess that she’s probably dying inside. She says she’s sad that Paul didn’t feel he could tell her or Dillon about Susan being at the hospital. She says she didn’t mean to invade his privacy. He says he knows how much family means to her and thanks her for caring. He says it’s not a good time to see Susan though. She doesn’t speak but uses sounds and gestures that he can understand, and she signaled she wants to be alone. He says she’s resting, but he’s staying in the area so he can come back later. Tracy apologizes again, saying she realizes it’s a private matter for him. He says now that she’s here, he’d like to talk to her about Susan.

Andre shows up at the gym for some boxing. Curtis says they must have double-booked, but if he wants to use the bag, he can. Andre suggests they spar.

Nathan says he gets the results of the paternity test in a few hours. Claudette has a mini freak-out, wondering how they could get an accurate result so quickly. Suddenly, she has to go. Maxie comes back in. She says Claudette must be desperate to do damage control and she’s been lying to them the entire time. This is a real shock since Claudette has been so truthful up until now.

Griff leaves so Anna can talk to Jordan. His phone rings. It’s Claudette. She says she spoke to Nathan and Maxie, and now she needs to speak to him immediately. She asks him to come to her room at the MetroCourt.

Jordan tells Anna that she didn’t screw up the warrant; she knows she gave the right address. She says she can’t find any sign that someone else got into the system, but that has to be what happened. Anna says Scotty’s ethics are flexible (ha-ha!), but he’s not going to do something that will land him in jail. Anna says whoever did this set Julian free. Well, yeah.

Paul says he needs someone to talk to and asks Tracy to have a quick bite with him at this great steakhouse he knows. He says he’s been feeling overwhelmed, like things are starting to get away from him. He says he didn’t see Sabrrrina’s death coming. He knows he and Tracy aren’t family anymore, but they’re friends. She says absolutely, but she doesn’t want to take away from his Susan time. He reminds her that Susan wants to be alone right now, and asks if there’s some reason she doesn’t want to dine with him. He uses the word “dine.” Who uses that word? Besides Paul.

Griff comes to Claudette’s room. He asks what her frantic call was about. She says there’s a slight possibility that what she told Nathan and Maxie could involve him.

Maxie says Claudette is obviously panicked. Nathan says it’s possible he might not he the father, but is Maxie prepared if he is?

Jordan and Anna go over what happened at the trial. Jordan says Alexis told her that she’d only had one glass of wine, and either she’s lying or everything got to her. She says the testimony was ridiculous and Alexis ended up collapsing into Julian’s arms. Anna says she’s not going to get angry after the fact, but what the blip was Alexis thinking? Jordan says Alexis is only human, and maybe she couldn’t cope with seeing Julian there. Anna says she needs better answers and wants to talk to Paul.

Tracy says she’ll be happy to dine with Paul. They get into the elevator.

Curtis asks Andre if there’s any progress with his killer profile. Andre says he can’t discuss it because Curtis isn’t technically a part of the team. Curtis says he’s been helpful and Jordan is comfortable talking to him. Andre says he’s not, so drop it.

Tracy goes back to Paul’s room. He looks for his wallet, but she says she’s willing to spring for the meal. He says he’s buying, end of story. He goes through his stuff. His phone rings, but he doesn’t answer, saying it’s nothing important. Tracy is clearly nervous.

Anna tells Jordan that Paul isn’t answering. She says maybe he’s laying low because he hates to lose. Jordan asks if she’s going to respect his privacy and Anna says no. Two minutes in the door and she’s on fire already.

Griff tells Claudette the past is the past, let it go. She sputters some nonsense and he tells her to spit it out. She says the night Nathan shot him, she discovered something – she was pregnant.

Maxie says Nathan has never had a problem with Georgie, so why would she have a problem with him having a child? He says if he’s Charlotte’s father, he needs her to be honest about where she stands. She says years ago, she was more like Claudette than she’d like to admit, and would have wanted him to stay away, but now that she’s a mom, she’d never sabotage any relationship with his child. She says if Charlotte is his daughter, she knows he’ll be a committed father and she’ll completely support him.

Claudette tells Griff about Charlotte. She says she’s almost positive Nathan is the father. She says they never used protection, but she and Griff were always careful. Except for the times they weren’t.

Maxie says all of her reservations are about Claudette being a lying liar, not about him being a dad. Nathan says he’s never loved her more. He says Claudette having a child explains a lot, and whether or not Charlotte is his daughter, he wants to make sure she’s safe. Maxie says his first instinct is to protect and it’s one of the reasons she loves him.

Claudette tells Griff that she feels Charlotte is Nathan’s. Griff says calling him is a preemptive strike just in case her daughter isn’t Nathan’s. He asks why she didn’t tell Nathan to begin with. She says she’d just seen him shoot Griff in a drunken rage and didn’t know how he’d react. Griff says that’s no excuse. He asks if there’s something else she’s not telling him. She says Nathan wanted a paternity test and the results are coming in today. Her phone rings. It’s Nathan and the results are in now. He’ll pick up the papers, and he and Maxie will meet her.

Curtis tells Andre that they have more important things to talk about than sparring. He says it’s Andre’s call about discussing the case, but this has nothing to do with the case; he doesn’t want Curtis involved with Jordan. Andre says Curtis has disrupted her life. Curtis says all that’s in the past and obviously Andre is out of the loop. They verbally spar and Curtis tell Andre to go ahead and take a punch.

Anna goes to Paul’s hotel room and sees Olivia, who’s spot checking the rooms. She tells Anna that Paul did the best he could, and Alexis messed things up. She says Julian will never see his son again though. Anna asks if she can leave a note for Paul. Olivia gets a call and has to go, leaving Anna alone in Paul’s room.

Anna opens a drawer – I assume looking for stationery – and takes out a folder. The papers fall out and they’re all articles about the hospital killer.

Paul continues to look for his wallet, and explains how Susan communicates with him. He tells her that Susan can let him know when he should come or go, or if a nurse is at the door. This makes Tracy a little nervous. He finds his wallet in the couch, but says why don’t they order in?

Nathan knocks on Claudette’s door. He and Maxie come in with the results. Nathan says he’s not surprised to see Griff. He opens the envelope.

Jordan asks Curtis why he’s telling Andre to hit him. Curtis replies that it’s a boxing gym. Curtis leaves and Andre calls Curtis Jordan’s boy. He says Curtis was prying into the case, and admits to just not liking him.

Anna thinks the folder is Paul’s research. And then she finds the biggest cufflink I’ve ever seen. Seriously. It’s stupid big. Who is Paul on his off-time? The Jolly Green Giant?

Tracy asks why she’d want room service when Paul has been bragging about the steakhouse. Paul locks the door and says he can’t let her leave.

Next time, Doc and Laura share the same flight, Paul tells Tracy he needs to tie up loose ends, and Anna investigates the giant cufflink further.

Little Women: LA

After having the babies, Elena is concerned about stretch marks and she’s having them burned off. At least that’s what it sounds like. Terra goes with her, and says she seems like she’s in a better mood since her birthday party. Elena is upset that the girls aren’t getting along. We flash back to the Plastic incident at Tonya’s photo shoot and then the fight Tonya had with Christy on the yacht. Elena wants to get to the bottom of why Christy’s personality has changed so much. We see some of the procedure and while they don’t use a torch, it’s some kind of zapper that looks painful. I guess vitamin E wasn’t an option.

Terra wants a drama free night of belly dancing. She’s invited all the girls with the exception of Christy. Can’t say as I blame her. In her interview, Terra says that she wants to be in the best shape possible, so that she’s raring to go for Dancing with the Stars after she has the baby.

Christy is still getting over Elena’s birthday, so she goes to a soap-making class with her mom. She says she’s had it with the girls, and talks about the fight with Tonya. She tells her mom that she exploded at everyone. In her interview, Christy plays the victim. She does regret some of the things she said though, like calling Tonya a Black whore. She says she misses her friendships. Well, quit acting like a d-bag then. Her mom tells her she can’t change the past, but only move forward. Zzzzz….

Matt’s son is visiting from Seattle. Briana loves the family vibe, and Eric is enjoying his baby brother, Maverick. The kids go to play upstairs and Matt says he loves having the kids, but he’s pretty tired. He talks to Briana about the party and “Crusty.” In her interview, Briana says she thinks Christy is pissed off because she and Matt worked things out. She tells Matt that Christy is spreading the story about him and Plastic like it’s new, even though it was six months ago. IMO, that’s still kind of new, but if they’ve decided to let it be in the past, that’s their business. Frankly, I was pretty appalled at Christy’s antics. Briana says Christy has no soul and no respect, and Matt says she’s crazy.

Two masseuses show up at Tonya’s house with flowers. Tonya thinks some wine, chocolate and a foot massage will help her bond with Angelique. She wants their relationship to get back to where it was before Kerwin moved in. Angelique tells Tonya she’s dating. When Tonya asks if she’s committed, Angelique wants a definition of that. Tonya asks how many massages it will cost her to get some real information.

Christy talks to her daughter about getting her driver’s license. She wants Autumn to be extra prepared, since being a dwarf makes it even tougher. She suggests they practice at home. I think she means taking a spin around the block, but Christy sets up a makeshift “car” in the kitchen using a paper plate for a steering wheel. Autumn wonders why they’re doing this. She’s unenthusiastic and tired. Christy thinks in addition to her cyst, Autumn has a thyroid problem and wants to make a doctor’s appointment. Autumn agrees.

Tonya says ever since she had a baby, she’s suffered from thinning hair. She’s approached Jasmine about her issue, since Jasmine is a hair stylist. Jasmine can totally relate because she has the same problem. She likes to make her clients empowered rather than embarrassed and help them take control of their hair.

Tonya tells Jasmine about the evening of belly dancing Terra is planning. Jasmine says she doesn’t have a pet and Terra told her that she usually doesn’t like people who don’t have animals. She says she’d love one, but doesn’t have the time. Tonya says she doesn’t think Terra meant anything bad and to just discuss it with her.

Kerwin and Tonya have been looking for fun things to do on date nights, so they go to a flight simulator place. This is really cool. They put on flight suits and goggles, and sit in a cockpit type thing with huge screens in front of them. It looks like they achieved their goal of having fun.

They talk about Angelique. Tonya tells Kerwin that Angelique is worried that she’ll pass along everything they talk about. She definitely wants him to back off about Angelique’s love life.

Terra and Joe are going back to the house they bought. The one the former owner won’t leave. We flash back to last week when they couldn’t get in. They’re meeting with the seller’s brother-in-law to hopefully get the keys. The guy meets them and says everything is cleared out. He warns them that there’s powder all over the place though, since she was afraid of people breaking in and wanted to get fingerprints. He gives them the keys. Joe says they can deal with a couple of kilos of powder and Terra says she hopes it’s not that kind of powder.

Tonya meets them and they tell her about the powder. In her interview, Tonya calls the seller a crazy heifer and I laugh. Terra is afraid to go in. Joe suggests they paint the walkway yellow and the seller will think their small footprints are from Munchkins.

Terra is nervous, but puts the key in the lock. The door opens and she gasps. Man, I so relate to this, since we had the same problem. Not quite as bad, but when we got here with the moving truck a day after closing, the previous owner was sitting here in a folding chair along with a bunch of her stuff. This was after we’d acquiesced to several things just to get her out on time. And she’s still here twenty years later. Just kidding.

Everything is fine. And it looks pretty clean. Terra is excited because it’s where they’re going to raise their family and she knows she can make it a home. Okay, the tub is covered in powder. Tonya has a lot of connections and is going to hook them up with someone who can make the house little people friendly. Terra is ecstatic. Joe wants to christen the room and Tonya says she’s outta there. Contractor and landscaper to follow.

Elena and Briana go to the park, so the kids can have some fun in the sprinklers. Elena knows what sex her baby is going to be, but she’s not ready to tell us yet. She asks Briana how Matt is dealing with Maverick’s littleness. Briana says things are going well, but she’s still miffed about Tonya’s comment that a little baby would be easier for her. Jasmine says she’s surprised, since Tonya is a mother to an average sized daughter. Briana says her step-son doesn’t look down on her because she’s little, and I think, well, technically, he does. Jasmine talks about Terra saying she normally doesn’t like people who don’t have animals and wonders if she’s being sensitive. Ya think? Briana says she is pregnant. In her interview, Briana thinks Jasmine must be having a girl and has extra estrogen. Since we didn’t actually see the conversation, I’m assuming what Terra meant was that she doesn’t normally like people who don’t have pets, because those people don’t like animals, and it translated wrong.

It’s belly dancing time! In her interview, Terra says the belly dancing will help her crush it on DWTS. Elena says dancing isn’t her thing, even though she does it after a couple of cocktails. Terra asks the instructor if anyone has ever gone into labor during a lesson and she says not yet. This looks like it’s probably good exercise. In her interview, Briana says the dancing makes her feel confident and relaxed, but it might be because Christy isn’t there.

Afterward. Terra thanks everyone for coming and says she’s glad they’re able to enjoy this moment as friends. She asks Jasmine what the stank face is for, and Jasmine says she wonders if they are friends. She tells Terra about how she said she normally doesn’t like people who don’t have animals. Terra says she meant it as a compliment. In her interview, Terra admits she says offensive sh*t all the time, but that wasn’t one of those times. I’m thinking that Tonya didn’t mean for Jasmine to talk to Terra in front of everyone. Elena says this is the most stupid thing she’s ever heard. Jasmine says she felt judged after she thought they were on a good path. It’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard too.

Tonya gets involved and brings up Briana being upset about her saying she hoped Briana’s baby was little. This is how things get out of control. Too much input. Tonya explains her comment, but it’s not going over too well. Instead of clarifying things, it’s only adding fuel to the fire. It’s certainly not mending things with Briana. Briana says both of her children are taller than she is and there’s no problem. Somehow this all leads into Tonya saying that Matt is disrespectful. Elena jumps in and in her interview, Terra wonders how this got to the topic of Briana’s parenting skills. Jasmine says that it was taken the wrong way and Tonya says that’s why she’s explaining it and it’s just her opinion anyway. I can’t help but be distracted by Jasmine’s awesome earrings. She always wears crazy dangling things with feathers and sparkles.

Terra starts to talk and Tonya says she wan’t talking about her. In her interview, Tonya says this is Terra’s fault in the first place. Jasmine and Elena think Terra should apologize, but I’ve forgotten for what at this point.

Next time, Christy’s mom gets a make-over, Christy asks for help in making peace, Joe can’t make Terra’s pre-op appointment, and baby number two arrives.

👻 Re: American Horror Story: Roanoke (?). I guess the theme is a reenactment of The Children of the Blair Witch? I am enjoying it, and happen to like reenactment shows, but none of them is as professional as this looks.

💋 I’m looking forward to FOX’s interpretation of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on October 20. Check out my archives for my post on how I started the RHPS cult. Don’t believe me? Take a look at Sal Piro‘s book Creatures of the Night. I’m on page 5 (I think). A friend of mine and I were the first ones to throw confetti. The one thing all the retrospective RHPS tales leave out is how high everyone was. The idea was that if we threw confetti from the balcony at the same time they did in the movie, the people below us would think they were in the movie. Does that sound like straight thinking to you? While times have changed and there’s no going home to the spontaneity again, I look back on that time fondly. I do have to admit I thought it was a phase that wouldn’t last, but it’s a pleasant surprise to see that there are new Frankie fans even in 2016.

 

Sep28

September 27, 2016 – GH’s Morgan is a Cheat, ILYIW’s Julius is Back on the Street & a Below Deck Guest Doesn’t Like to Eat

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy tells Dillon it might help Paul if he could see his daughter. Dillon can’t believe after all Paul has done, Tracy wants to help him. Paul strolls into the house, uninvited, saying he comes in peace. Does no one lock their doors in Port Charles? He thanks Tracy for being understanding, and she says she realizes it’s about Susan.

Morgan tries to work on his paper, but he can’t think. He reminds me of Jefferson in 1776, trying to write the Declaration while his mind is on his wife. Kiki comes by and asks if he’s almost done.

Franco has to meet with his accountant and tells Elizabeth he’ll see her later. He’s really visiting Heather.

Elizabeth’s doorbell rings. It’s her sister, aka Hayden. She asks if Elizabeth is disappointed that she’s not in prison.

Julian tells Alexis he’s surprised she didn’t change the locks. She says she didn’t think he’d have the audacity to just walk in. Why not? He tries to talk to her, but she tells him the law is on her side. She says he tried to kill her once before and she won’t think twice about killing him now. Okay, I just have to say this. The least he could have done after letting himself in, is not leave the door wide open.

Morgan says he got lucky. The professor had a personal issue and gave an extension.

Elizabeth invites Hayden in, saying she’s glad she’s free. She says she didn’t know all the facts and once she found out everything, it was too late. Does she even realize how bad that makes her sound? Hayden explains about her mother taking the rap for her. Elizabeth apologizes and says she didn’t mean to make all this trouble. She hopes they can move forward. She tells Hayden about her other sister, Sarah, and that she lives in CA, and how she hardly gets to see her. She says maybe she and Hayden could figure out a way to be sisters. Hayden says she’s not there for a reunion, but to give her something. She hands Elizabeth a paper.

Heather talks about Franco forcing her to tell him that Hayden and Elizabeth are sisters, and now her income stream is destroyed. She says the Bank of Heather is closed. Franco says he had to tell them because of the GH killer.

Tracy says it’s only natural after what happened that Paul would think of his own child and how easy it is to lose someone you love. Paul makes up stuff about why Sabrrrina’s death hit him hard and says the best way to handle it is to stay on top of the case. He wonders about Dante’s lead and wants to interview Monica himself.

Alexis tells Julian to get out. He says he understands why she feels the way she does, and says he never would have killed her because he loves her. He says no matter how much she betrayed him, he never wanted to scare her like that. But you are, Blanche! You are in that chair. Sorry. Alexis isn’t having any, so Julian says he’ll be going now. He wants to give her something before he leaves. It must be gifting day.

Elizabeth opens Hayden’s attorney bill. Hayden says she’s a widow with no spousal support and her only back-up was the diamonds. She says she needs to save her mother and the least Elizabeth can do is provide the funds.

Franco explains to Heather about the blood transfusion and how he was forced to tell the secret. He says he’s going through a financial crisis himself and he needs her to go back to her nest egg. For some reason, Heather thinks Franco pushed Elizabeth down the stairs.

Tracy says Monica’s doctors were specific and Monica needs rest. Tracy says the only thing Monica remembers is the killer’s cologne, and that she’s smelled it in the house. Paul says he’ll be going now, and Tracy asks him to consider talking to Susan. He says he’ll think about it. As soon as Paul is gone, Tracy tells Dillon they have to find Susan.

Kiki wants to read Morgan’s paper. He asks if she doesn’t trust him. She says she just wants to help, and he asks her if she thinks he’s going to fail.

Julian gives Alexis the signed divorce papers. She says to put them on the table. He asks what exactly happened at the trial and why she blew her testimony. He says she knew what the jury wanted to hear, but she couldn’t get a coherent word out. He asks if it was because of him, and she tells him it was because of having to look at his stupid face. He asks if she did it on purpose to save him.

Elizabeth tells Hayden that she lives paycheck to paycheck. Hayden suggests they call Jeff together, and maybe he can help her.

Franco tells Heather he’d never hurt Elizabeth and wonders how she could think that. She tells him to admit that removing the tumor didn’t change anything. He says he didn’t kill anyone.

Kiki says she’s concerned that Morgan is putting too much pressure on himself. He says everyone has stress and it’s how you manage it that counts. She apologizes for hovering and he says don’t apologize for caring. He wants her to be proud of him. She says she is.

Dillon thinks calling Susan is a bad idea, but Tracy tells him to just encourage her to call. He says maybe she’s right and that after the trial, Paul was pretty dejected. Tracy has the number for Susan’s store in the phone and tells him to push call. He gets voicemail.

Paul goes to a hospital bearing flowers and a gift. He gives the nurse some candy and she tells him that Susan is waiting. He goes into her room. Susan seems pretty out of it. He tells her hello.

Morgan tells Kiki he’s on the last paragraph. She says they’ll celebrate later by eating something fried and delicious. She leaves and Morgan checks the spyder-finder search engine for where to buy a paper. He takes out his credit card.

Heather says she understands everything about Franco and he tells her she’s way off base. She says you need conflict to create and he should let the darkness inside of him out. He says he was exonerated and he’s completely innocent. She says she was so sure he did it.

Hayden says it’s time to let Jeff know she’s his daughter. Elizabeth says he does humanitarian work and doesn’t have money. She says Hayden chose to chase money more than anything else, and it’s time for her to get a job. Hayden says she had a job at ELQ, but Tracy got rid of her, and since she was raised by Raymond Berlin, no one will ever hire her again.

Tracy answers Dillon’s phone thinking it might be Susan. She finds out Susan sold the shop and she asks if there’s a forwarding address. She writes something down. She says she knows that place and wonders how Susan ended up there.

Paul puts the flowers in water and takes a trip down Memory Lane. There’s no response from Susan who just hugs her pillow. He says he got her something else. He tells her that he didn’t succeed in getting her all the presents he wanted to, but managed to get most of them. Susan runs to her bed and hugs her knees.

Alexis tells Julian what a twit he is. He says her subconscious wouldn’t let her help convict him. She says she hates him with every fiber in her being, and there was nothing in her subconscious that was otherwise. Julian says she wants to believe she hates him, but he believes what happened in the courtroom was fate. He says the way they loved each other doesn’t just stop. He says in order for him to keep going, he needs to trust they’ll be together again. She tells him to do what he has to and she’ll do what she has to. She calls the police. She wants the paperwork for a restraining order and wants Julian to never be near her.

Kiki returns. Morgan says he’s done with his paper. She tells him that she got them tickets to see Hypothermia. He says the tickets are sold out and expensive, and that he doesn’t deserve her. She says it’s for both of them because she loves the band and they need a night of fun. He says she doesn’t understand, but then Dillon interrupts. Kiki tells Dillon about Morgan going back to school and just having done his first paper. Dillon asks if the college is still using a website called TurnInYourWork.com. When Morgan says they are, he says it’s to find out if the students are cheating.

Hayden sees that Elizabeth has a private nurse and says she thought Elizabeth was destitute. Elizabeth tells her that Franco paid for it and if Hayden ever needs a blood transfusion, she’ll give blood and they’ll be even. She suggests that Hayden find a rich man like her mother did, and sister or not, she has nothing but contempt for people like her. Hayden walks out. That was pretty nasty. This is why I don’t like Elizabeth. She’s no saint from like, five minutes ago, yet she looks down her nose at her sister, who is obviously desperate.

Franco tells Heather it hurts his feeling that she’d think he was the killer. She asks if he blames her, considering his past. She says she loves him and wants the best for him and he needs to be his own man. She says he can paint full time now and take the setback as an opporunity to make her feel proud of everything she’s sacrificed.

Paul says he didn’t mean to scare Susan. It breaks his heart that he can’t hold her hand or touch her. He says he doesn’t know why shes like this, but when she sees what he’s given her, it might help her find her way back. He made a lsit of the people who hurt her, starting with Kyle Sloane, Dr. Mays who mishandled her rape kit, and the rest. (Here on Gilligan’s Isle!) He lists the people he’s killed and says they’re all gone. He got rid of them and the world is safe, so she can come back. It’s time.

Alexis finishes her call and asks Julian why he’s still there. He says no matter how much distance she puts between them, they’ll always have Paris be connected. He tells her good-by – for now. Moron. He leaves and Alexis can’t drink her wine fast enough.

Franco asks Elizabeth how her alone time was. She tells him Hayden came by, but all she wanted was a hand out. She says she doesn’t know what she’d do without him. She wants to take a nap, so he helps her up. She asks why he’s going so far out of his way for her. He says he’d do anything for her, even being a better person who deserves to be with her. Bleh.

Kiki tells Dillon she never heard of the website. He says once paper is turned it, it goes through databases to see if anything was copied or if the student bought the paper. Uh-oh, Morgan.

Hayden looks for jobs.

Franco tries to get his credit card limit raised.

Paul lights the candles on Susan’s cake. He says whatever she desires, blow out candles and he’ll make it happen. He asks her to come back, saying he got rid of them all for her, that justice has been served, and no one will come after her again. She sits and just stares ahead. He begs her to come back and starts to cry. He blows out the candles himself.

Tracy is outside the door and she’s overheard.

That was a really nice scene. That’s what soap opera is all about.

Tomorrow, Claudette needs to talk to Griff (what else is new?), Anna is back, and Maxie tells Nathan that Claudette has been lying the whole time (that’s not new either).

If Loving You is Wrong

No doubt Louise is dead, since everyone keeps wandering around instead of helping her, and the police are taking their sweet time getting there.

Kelly sees a body that’s not moving in Randal’s house. Esperanza tells her to check for a pulse. Kelly wonders if the person is still in the house, but Esperanza says Alex was already there and said they’d left. Kelly is like, how does she know that? and I’m with her. It’s not like she checked upstairs. I can’t believe a 911 operator would try to get a civilian involved like this.

Kelly checks on the kids. She tells Esperanza she feels sick and wonders what’s taking the police so long. She hears sirens, but only sees that idiot, Travis, outside. Don’t tell me he’s going to get arrested for this. I’d laugh my head off. The police finally pull up. They approach the house, which is dark all of a sudden. Um…the lights were on two minutes ago. Continuity, people! Yep, looks like Louise is dead. No, wait, there’s a pulse. The EMTs get her into the ambulance.

Steven goes next door to talk to Kelly. He asks what she saw. She says she didn’t see anything, and that Esperanza had called her to check on things. She asks if Louise is going to be okay and Steven says, hopefully. He asks if she went into the house or stepped in the blood. She says no, but he asks to take a photo of her shoe just in case. He acts all concerned about her welfare, but Kelly says she’s just shaken up. He asks if she heard anything, but she says no. He asks how she knew Louise, and Kelly says they just met once or twice and asks again if she’s going to be okay.

Steven asks if she knows Brad. She says yes and tells him which house is Brad’s. He says he has reason to believe Brad is involved and Kelly is like, no way. Steven says way; Louise whispered that he did this. She tells him that Brad moved, and he asks if she would call him. Right now. She dials the phone. Do we still call it dialing?

Joey is wheeled into the ER. Natalie is right behind him and a nurse steers her to paperwork. They ask if he has insurance and she says no. The clerk tells her she’ll be right back. Lushion comes in and tells Natalie it’s going to be okay. She says they won’t give Joey good care, and tells him about the insurance question. Lushion goes with her to talk to the nurse, who says they’ll know something shortly. Natalie asks why the clerk stopped taking her information. The nurse says Joey can’t leave until he’s stabilized. Lushion asks if he’s going to be taken to a county hospital and she says it’s been known to happen. Lushion tells her that they can pay. Natalie is beside herself, but he tells her again that it will be okay.

Julius asks Ben about his hand. He asks if it hurts. He wants more information, which puzzles me. Ben says he hates Andrew. Julius asks if he wants to kill him or at least shoot his fingers off. Julius says he thinks he should and he can. Ben asks how, and Julius says they should hang out; he could use a man in blue. Ben says if Eddie finds out… but Julius stops him. He says Eddie is a street dog, but Ben can be prime and work for him. He says they’ll talk later, but for now he needs to prove his loyalty. He tells Ben to give him his phone and he’ll put his number in for Ben to call later. He tells Ben to keep under the radar.

Eddie comes into the station and asks Esperanza what she’s doing there. She says working. He asks about his daughter and she says she’s the primary care giver, so don’t worry about it. He tells her to get her primary ass home. Esperanza says she’s at Kelly’s and Eddie makes a racist comment. She says he doesn’t get to talk to her about night shift or anything else anymore. She tells him his days are numbered and she needs to make sure she’s good when he goes down. He asks if that’s an invitation. Ew! She tells him he disgusts her. He says maybe, but she always comes back. She gets up and he grabs her arm. She tells him not to touch her and smacks him. She asks where his girlfriend, Claudia, is. She asks him to leave. He says he knows what she’s worried about and Joey will be fine. She says first Alex now this. He asks what happened and she tells him to look at the board.

Kelly’s ex calls. Um…he’s calling from prison. The call doesn’t just connect. Oh, his mother has set up a three-way call. He asks how Kelly is doing. His mother says Kelly doesn’t want to talk to him and he says she will if his mother lets her. Kelly says she’s there and his mother berates her for not visiting. The ex says she’s been raising his son and his mother gripes about not seeing him. His mother says Kelly is fine because he’s locked up for something she did. He tells Kelly he’ll call her back and his mother says he’s a damn fool because she’s not going to answer.

She answers. But then she hangs up.

Eddie asks Ben how things are going. Julius asks Eddie wazzup. Eddie asks what he’s doing there. Julius says one of his rookies arrested him for drunk driving and points out Andrew. Eddie lets him out of the cell because they’re as lax as they are on GH. Andrew says Julius needs to take a breathalyzer. Ben tells him to get lost and Andrew says he’s reporting this to the captain. Ben says he’s signing his death warrant. Julius asks what happened to Ben’s hand and says the job has many hazards. What the blip is with Julius’s obsession with Ben’s hand?

Julius asks Eddie about his plan. He says, one down, two to go. He tells Julius that Quan is down, but Julius says he wasn’t on the list. Eddie says he got caught in a drive-by. Julius asks about Claudia. Eddie says he’s working on it. Julius says he had some Cubans in the car when he was arrested. Feel free to make your own joke here. Eddie asks Andrew about it and Andrew says it’s contraband. Eddie says go get them. When he returns, Julius says he doesn’t like Andrew and gives Eddie a cigar. He tells Andrew to keep doing things by the book and leaves. Andrew stares at Eddie who asks Ben where his damn coffee is.

It’s Randal in a box! He says he can’t breath. Something gets poured on him and he starts yelling no, no, no, no, no. Is it gasoline?

Ben sees Julius outside. He’s waiting for his car to come out of impound. Julius offers Ben a cigar. Julius tells him to enjoy it and says he works too hard. Ben says he admires Julius and that his father is a legend. Ben offers his condolences. Julius says thanks, but it’s his turn now, and he’s doing things differently. Ben asks why here in Maxine? He says it’s such a small town; he’d be in Miami. Julius says maybe they should go. Ben says he’ll do anything for Julius. Julius says when his car gets there, they should go for a ride. Ben says he’s still on duty, but Julius offers him some pure Colombian. I wonder if they’re talking about weed or coke, but Ben is so excited, I assume the latter. Julius says he owes him one. Ben says he can’t leave though, because Eddie is watching. Julius says Ben has his number. Yeah, me too.

Alex drives around crying and trying to use her phone. She calls her mother. She asks where her baby is. She says she knows that her mother took him. She  saw her in the truck and her mother acts ignorant, saying she doesn’t know what Alex is talking about. Alex says she’ll call the police, and her mother asks if she’s drunk. Alex begs her mother not to do this. Her mother says if someone took her bastard maybe it’s for the best. Her mother acts like the phone is going out and hangs up.

Brad tells Marcie she’s playing hard-to-get. She asks if his phone was ringing, but he says it’s no one he wants to talk to. She asks if he’s been drinking, and he says not as much as he’d like. He tries to kiss her and she tells him to back up. He asks her to sit and talk. He asks if you can love someone too much, and she says it depends on the person. You can’t love someone too much who loves you the same way. He says every day he feels fine and then something reminds him of Alex and he feels the pain. He wants it to be done. It makes him feel stupid and sad. He says usually he can detach emotion from the relationship. Marcie asks what changed, and he says a girl named Alex. He says they have two kids together and he’ll have to see her. Marcie says to give it time. Her phone rings, but she doesn’t answer. She says a phone ringing late at night is never good news.

Marcie tells Brad that it’s Kelly and he says she’s been calling him too. Marcie answers and Kelly asks if she knows where Brad is. Marcie says no. Kelly tells her the police are there. She says that the baby is missing, Randal is gone, and Louise is hurt and told the police Brad did it. The police want to talk to him. Marcie says she doesn’t know where he is. Steven wants to talk to Marcie.

Steven asks Marcie if she knows where Brad is. He says he’s heard they share an apartment. She wants to get off the phone and he tells her her life could be in danger. She says she’ll call him back. He asks if Brad is there and that’s why she can’t talk. She says thank you and hangs up. Steven asks Kelly if she knows where they live. She doesn’t say anything, so he asks for a trace on the cell phone. He thanks Kelly and goes back to the car. Kelly has a headache.

Marcie says the mud on Brad’s boots is red and does he want to tell her what’s going on. He grabs her by the throat and I gasp out loud. I was not expecting that.

Next time, Lushion tells Esperanza about the shootout, Eddie threatens Ben, Travis screeches at Kelly, and Alex gets in an accident.

Below Deck

Ben tells Trevor he’s sh*tfaced. Trevor calls him a jackass and insults everyone. The crew heads back to the bus or trolley car or whatever it is, and Trevor continues to act idiotic. Kelley tells him to settle down and Trevor says he has a PTSD Marine for a bosun. Trevor jumps out of the car, wanting to fight Nico, and everyone tries to get him to calm down. Kelley says he can stay at a hotel room tonight, but Trevor says he doesn’t give a flying and continues to insult the Marine Corps. Ben tells Kelley that Trevor is a wanker and it has nothing to do with him.

The next morning, everyone either has a headache or is still half-drunk. Captain Lee is looking for his radio and Kate suggests he use Trevor’s since he’s not on the boat. Kate invites the captain to have cereal and talk. She fills him in a little, but says it’s best if Kelley tells him how things ended. He radios Kelley to come to the wheelhouse.

The captain asks for a synopsis. Kelley says Trevor got wasted, hassled Ben, and on the way back, spoiled for a fight. The captain wants to get everyone’s take on it. Lauren is next. He asks about her eventful evening. We see everyone talking to the captain and they all say the same thing. Trevor was a drunken idiot. The captain says he’ll deal with it in one way or another.

Ben asks Kate if Trevor should be fired. She says yes, because he doesn’t learn, but Ben thinks he should have another chance.

Trevor gets back and Kelley tells him to talk to the captain. He tells Captain Lee that everything was fine until the bus, and then the crew made fun of him for being a hair model. The look on the captain’s face is priceless. Trevor says he’s still in the learning process and he needs guidance in how to talk to people without coming off brash. Um… stop talking altogether? The captain calls Kelley in. In his interview, the captain says once is an accident, twice is a pattern, and he believes there will be a third time. He can’t afford to babysit, and thinks this isn’t the place for Trevor. He says says Trevor can leave nice and make apologies if he needs to. In his interview, Trevor asks where his apology is. Ben says it’s tough to be forgiven twice in the yachting profession. Nico thanks God. Trevor says it will be tough to replace him. Kate says we all have to hit rock bottom before we can make good life changes. Well, some of us apparently.

Trevor apologizes to Kelley and Ben, but not to Nico. Nico says he doesn’t know whether Trevor was embarrassed or just being a d*ck. I vote for the latter. Kelley tells the captain he feels like he failed a little, but it will be smoother without Trevor. Nico is happy to get the top bunk back. Sierra says Trevor never did anything to her, but there was definitely a negative vibe on the boat.

It’s time to go over the new charter guests. A group of entrepreneurs and something about an internet company. They want to explore and have a beach bar. The captain points out that one of the guests likes to eat nothing but air. No meat, dairy, gluten, fat, wheat, seafood (except for fish – I don’t know what that means) and no food whatsoever. The guests want a formal dinner on the first night with a 12-course tasting menu. Ben is thrilled. Nico says he’s already looking forward to them leaving.

Kate video chats with her girlfriend, Ro. The wifi is so inferior, she’s thinking of wrapping a coat hanger in tin foil. Google it if you’re too young to understand the reference.

Sierra tells Kate that she used to have a juicing business, but she ran out of money and turned to yachting. She wants to go back to it eventually though. She offers to help Ben with the menu. He says she and the guest are a match made in gluten-free heaven. She does a tricep workout with some cans.

Trevor gives instructions to the deckhands and tells Nico the hot tub has to be drained.

Sierra has a problem with the juicer. Kelley points out that it’s not plugged in. I think there was a reason she couldn’t make money with her juicing business.

The guests arrive. Kate gives the boat tour. She says she’s getting a strange vibe, and they’re like something from a D-list Tarantino picture. The captain says the boat is under-powered, the wind is going in one direction, and the tide in another. Not the best conditions. Somehow, they still manage to get away from the dock.

Uh-oh. The hot tub is awfully full. Bald guy guest says they’re making more money just sitting around than most people make in a year, and I hope it overflows onto his bald head. Ben gets lunch ready so he can prepare for dinner. Bald guy suggests he’ll hook up with Emily if his wife dies. Kate thinks she’ll probably commit suicide being married to him. There goes the hot tub.

Nico sees water coming from everywhere. Sierra makes lemonade that Ben thinks is awful. He hopes her culinary skills are better than her juicing skills. Only if she turns the appliances on. Nico calls Kelley to help with the hot tub. He says if it had to happen, it’s the best time since the guests are eating.

The captain tells Kelley to break out every toy they have. The deckhands pull out the inflatable stuff and the pool. I don’t get the pool thing. It’s basically a huge fish net that you swim in. The idea is that no sea life touches you. I would think part of it would be swimming with the fishes. Captain Lee jokes about how much hair bald guy has on his back. Sierra asks what to expect from a 12-course meal and Ben says, chaos. Kate says it might cause her to cry. Ben suggests a salad for the gluten free Carolina. Kate is concerned that Sierra helping Ben is like sending a bunny into a lion’s den.

Dinner time. They do the table setting with those glass stones again and I love it. Ben says he needs someone who can distinguish clear thoughts in a short amount of time. I predict Sierra is going to have a problem with that. These people seem a like a bunch of weirdos. Ben looks like the Karate Kid in his black outfit and headband.

Nico and Kelley talk about the girls. They think Sierra is pretty, but perhaps has a screw loose. Back in the kitchen Sierra still needs to get the salad together. OMG – the caviar whatever-it-is looks fabulous. Sierra says she’s thick-skinned, but needs positivity. The primary’s daughter is with them and he talks inappropriately in front of her. Gluten Free is still waiting for her salad and Ben wonders wtf? He says Sierra has two courses and all she’s doing is making the world’s biggest salad. Gluten Free doesn’t like that since she doesn’t eat anything, she’s missing out on the courses. Sierra goes back to the kitchen and tells Ben to make a conch course for Gluten Free. Oh Lord, they’re only on the third course.

Sierra sears (ha-ha!) the tuna. Ben says it has to be as aesthetically pleasing as the raw tuna and he’s about to give up. Ben tells Sierra the tuna is f*cked and he doesn’t want to serve it. She gets all bummed. Gluten Free doesn’t like raw fish. There is nothing not to like about this tuna. Fat dude is sleepy. Sierra starts to get clumsy in the kitchen. Ben tells Kate she’s making Sierra nervous. Gluten Free claims to not be picky and tries the calamari. Isn’t that seafood??? No one knows what course they’re on at this point. Bald guy picks his nose. I don’t like lamb, but I would eat the dish Ben made anyway.

Trevor says he’s thrown off some hints to Emily that he’s interested, but is getting weird signals back.

The final course is some kind of dessert that I’m sure tastes wonderful. Mmmm…I love spun sugar. By midnight, it’s over. Sierra is all weepy and wants to go home. Kate takes a picture of whatever guests are left with Ben. She thinks it’s genius to have such a long meal, since the guests are ready to go to bed afterward. Kate and Ben tell Sierra that nothing was her fault and not to stress. In his interview, Ben says in the old days you got dishes thrown at you or saucepan to the back of the head, but now he can’t even yell at someone. He says if you’re sensitive, you should stay out of the kitchen. Has Gordon Ramsey taught us nothing?

Next time, Sierra breaks down, a new deckhand arrives, and Nico comes on to Emily.

Sep27

September 26, 2016 – GH’s Paul Confesses & the OC’s Kelly Stresses

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sam startles Alexis. They were supposed to meet for lunch, but Alexis didn’t show. She also didn’t go to Sabrrrina’s funeral. Sam says she looks like hell and wonders what’s going on.

Morgan tells Kiki he decided not to go to the funeral. He didn’t trust himself not to lose it again if Joe showed up.

Sonny and Jason talk over coffee. Sonny says whoever took Sabrrrina’s life needs to pay. Jason tells him it’s not his world. This is a serial killer and a different realm. Sonny says Julian will never pay for ordering the hit on Duke and tells Jason that Julian is coming after him.

Paul tells Tracy he killed her. He’s the reason Sabrrrina is dead. Well, I guess I might as well turn this off now. Tracy thinks he’s acting selfishly. She says he feels responsible so he’s making it all about him. No! I should have known this wasn’t going to get wrapped up in a neat little bow so quickly.

Michael comes home to Nell holding a box of family photos. She’s set up a memorial page online for Sabrrrina. She shows Michael that people have already started to post. She knows it doesn’t do anything to assuage the actual grief though, because she’s been there.

Julian acts like a complete a-hole, sitting in Nina’s chair when she comes in. He wants permission to take back what’s his, including the magazine. Nina says she was running things long before he tried to kill his wife – allegedly. She says their agreement hasn’t changed and he says he’s not there to break it. He wants her to clear his name.

Sam says Alexis is in the same clothes as yesterday and she obviously just woke up. She says it’s not the first time she’s seen Alexis like that. She’s hungover and it’s becoming a pattern. Alexis says she’s fine, but Sam counts the wine bottles and says no she isn’t.

Morgan says he doesn’t want to add to Michael’s stress. Kiki says he made a good decision, especially because of Teddy bringing back the old custody issues. Morgan says he has a paper due. Kiki suggests an extension, but he says he’s got this. He leaves and Kiki literally runs into Dillon again.

Paul says Sabrrrina wasn’t’ supposed to be hurt this way. Tracy says she blames the police department and everyone blamed themselves, but the only person to blame is the killer.

Sam is concerned about Alexis’s pattern. Alexis says she’s right, this isn’t her, it’s the new her. She needs Sam to back off so she can figure out how to cope. She tells Sam that it’s temporary. She’s about to start work again.

Nina says Julian was exonerated. He says not guilty does’t change the court of public opinion. He wants to be on the cover of the magazine and give an exclusive with his side of the story. He says she’ll boost circulation and he can defend himself. She says she passes.

Jason says Julian just got acquitted yesterday. Sonny says he was celebrating with Ava already. He tells Jason about meeting Julian, and that Julian told him to watch Morgan because he’s getting into trouble he can’t handle. When Sonny asked if Julian was threatening Morgan, Julian said he’s coming after him. He’s going down, but his death won’t be tied to Julian. Jason asks if Carly knows and Sonny says she was there, but she wants him to leave it alone.

Kiki tells Dillon at least she wasn’t carrying coffee this time. Dillon asks about Morgan and Kiki explains why he didn’t go to the funeral. Dillon says there was a little altercation at the house.

Nell tells Michael that she lost her best friend in high school. She was killed because she got in a car with a drunk driver. One minute they were hanging out, and the next she was gone. Nell says she knows how much the page helped her friend’s parents, but they eventually took the page down. With it went all the memories they’d shared, and she felt the loss all over again. She knew the last thing on Michael’s mind would be old photos. Nell tells him that one day he’ll want to look at the memories and she wanted him to have what she didn’t get.

Tracy says Paul isn’t helping anyone. He says she’s right, and Sabrrrina was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Tracy says she’s never seen him like this. He’s usually emotionless, focused and unflappable. He says it’s hitting close to home and asks to be alone.

Alexis shows Sam a list of law firms. She says she can do consults until she gets her license back. She swears she won’t get drunk again. She says since Sam can’t drink because she’s pregnant, she won’t drink with her.

Nina says Julian isn’t going to be the next Crimson cover girl. She says he wants to use her magazine as a PR outreach and to get back his wife and children. In the meantime, her magazine loses credibility and advertisers. Julian says he was asking out of politeness and now he’s demanding. He owns the magazine and he’s telling her to run the piece. She tells him to have his lawyers give him the definition of autonomy. Nina refuses to run a puff piece on a man who crossed the line with domestic abuse. He urges her to play ball or regret it. She asks if he’s threatening her, and he says he sure is. Julian is the worst.

Jason says he can’t get involved and Sonny should just wait and see what happens. Jason says Julian talks a lot, but doesn’t carry out anything. He had Carrrlos carry out his dirty work and then killed him. He says Julian is a coward and too afraid to make a move against Sonny. Sonny asks if Jason would bet his life, and Jason says he thinks Julian will make a mistake that backfires.

Sonny says he can’t promise how he’ll handle things, and Jason says sorry he can’t help. Sonny sees Morgan working on his laptop. He asks why Morgan didn’t go to the funeral. Morgan says he ran it past Michael and he was fine with it. He says he’s working on a paper right now. Sonny says he has a lot going on, and he doesn’t want Morgan to burn himself out. Morgan says he appreciates Sonny worrying about him, but there are others who need his worrying more.

Kiki tells Dillon that she and Michael have some old stuff, so she thought it best to stay away. She tells Dillon about how she and Morgan tried to make Michael seem incompetent to he’d lose custody of Avery, and Sabrrrina saved the day. She says the perfect Kiki doesn’t exist. Dillon says perfect is boring and he thinks Michael might appreciate her reaching out to him.

Michael thanks Nell for telling him about her friend. She says as someone who’s experienced loss, it helps to share it. He asks if she went into the nursery when she was collecting photos. She says no, and Michael tells her there are pictures that Teddy might want to see one day. She leaves to get them. The doorbell rings. It’s Sonny.

Alexis tells Sam not to worry and just take care of the baby. She asks to reschedule lunch, because she wants to clean herself up and look for a job. Sam leaves and Alexis immediately chugs a bottle of wine. Not really, but she thinks about it.

Alexis stares at the wine glass and then looks at a picture of her and Sam. She makes a bunch of phone calls, but none of them pan out. When she’s done she says the hell with the shower, she feels like a bath, and brings the wine with her.

Julian says Nina has skeletons in her closet too. He says she wants to move on with her life and certain people are preventing that. He threatens her with budget cuts. She says she has proof he tried to sabotage the magazine. If he wants to reach out to Alexis or the other people he’s destroyed, he’ll do it without her and the magazine’s help. He says working with her again will be interesting.

Sam meets Jason. She says she can tell he’s worried. Jason says her father threatened Sonny and threatening him usually doesn’t end well. Sam doesn’t care what happens to Julian, but asks if Jason is getting involved.

Sonny tells Michael that they always take for granted that he doesn’t need any help, but he knows Michael is hurting and wants him to know he’s not alone. He says sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you care about is to just show up. They hug.

Paul talks to Sabrrrina’s picture. He apologizes and says he hopes it brings her spirit peace that she didn’t die in vain. This is after a couple of people talked to Steve Hardy’s picture last week. Pretty soon, in an effort to save money, they can cut the cast in half and use pictures f0r the other half.

Tracy tells Dillon that as much as funerals are a celebration of life, they’re really a downer for everyone. She tells him that Paul is devastated by Sabrrrina’s death. She says she’s never seen Paul like that and he’s in a bad place. Dillon tells her about how shaken up Paul was when he told him about her murder, like it was personal even though they didn’t know each other that well. Tracy says, OMG, she knows what it is. I’ll bet not. I’ll bet this is just another carrot on a stick.

Morgan peruses his phone. Morgan stares at his laptop. Morgan takes a break.

Kiki sends a message to Michael, thanking him for taking care of her sister.

Tracy thinks Paul feels guilty about the distance between him and Susan, and that Sabrrrina’s death exacerbated that guilt. She suggests that Dillon reach out to her. Dillon says he’ll try. Tracy tells him to ask her to come to Port Charles. She says maybe Paul seeing his daughter is just what he needs.

Paul calls Susan. He leaves a message that her father called, that it will be okay and he’s handling everything. Not too well though.

Nell walks in on Sonny and Michael’s hug. Michael says he’ll be right back and Nell apologizes to Sonny for her bad timing. She compliments him on what good dad he is, and says his kids are lucky to ahve him in their lives. I’d agree with that.

Sam asks Jason if Sonny is going to take action. She says she sees what Julian has done, but doesn’t want his blood on either of their hands. Jason says if Julian keeps pushing, Sonny will have to defend himself.

Drunk Alexis comes downstairs. Her front door is open. Julian is in the living room.

Tomorrow, Alexis complains to Julian, Hayden thinks she and Elizabeth should call Jff together, and Tracy wants to find Susan.

The Real Housewives of the OC

The Beadors find a rental property. Shannon complains about the stove, the floors, and the horrible feng shui. Kelly also lives within walking distance. Shannon says she knows where to go for a cup of tequila. In her interview, Shannon says that David’s mother and sister wanted him to leave her for the woman he had the affair with. Shannon definitely has some issues, but considering the mother complained to total strangers about the whole thing, I’m guessing she must be a real pita.

Eddie and Tamra go out to lunch at a sushi place. It’s five weeks until her competition and Tamra is concerned about the carbs in the sake. Tamra says Eddie and Simon are like night and day. Eddie is supportive no matter what, while Simon was a controlling twit. They talk about how Shannon can go off like a rocket.

Kelly’s husband opens a beer bottle with his teeth. He’s doing some renovation work on the house, but in her interview, she says he does it half-assed. She asks him if their relationship is any better now that he’s retired. She says they’re both control freaks, but Michael insists he isn’t. In her interview, she explains that she’d filed for divorce because she felt like she was being suffocated. Michael says they’re dealing with trying to repair things while dealing with the baggage of the divorce where they were separated for 2½ years. Kelly says she can’t talk to him because he gets upset with everything. She tells him if he just says yes to everything, it will all go a lot more smoothly.

Vicki and son Michael are building an insurance policy behind a charity called Kill All Cancer. It’s a policy so that if someone should get cancer, they can get back on their feet again. It sounds kind of like Aflac. Vicki is going to do some TV ads. We see one she’s done for her insurance company and it makes me think of a funeral home ad. In her interview, Vicki talks about how she got dragged through the mud last year, with Brooks lying about having cancer, and explains the whole Brooks thing to the guys in charge of the charity. The publicity guy says she can have haters, but if she continuously does the next right thing, she should come out on top. I’m not sure if this is actually a charitable act or Vicki is trying to save her reputation.

Meghan checks out the space she and Jim got for their candle making business. Since it’s relatively big, they’re also including other products. She says opening the store is a perfect distraction for her until her next pre-natal appointment where she’ll find out if she’s having twins. I always like to buy a store when I need a distraction.

Kelly and her mother, Bobbi, talk. Her mother talks about how she stuck her marriage out for the kids. Kelly says the two years she and Michael were separated, it was hard for her daughter to bounce back and forth. She tells her mother about what happened with Tamra and how she’s estranged from her daughter now. She wonders what’s better, to stay married and see your kids every day, or end up like Tamra. I’m assuming by the conversation, things aren’t going well with the marriage.

Shannon whines about packing and unpacking. They have to be out in 30 minutes and she’s still getting it together. She says she can’t open another cupboard and find something else. In her interview, she says there have been amazing memories in the house, and we flash back to some of them. And some bad ones. She says there’s a huge piece of her in the house and it’s sad. She’s giving her fourth baby up for adoption. Everyone says good-by to the house.

Tamra has set up a spa day for some of the girls. Vicki arrives first. She just wants to whoop it up and forget about last year. Heather is next. She’s happy for no helmets and safety equipment, only champagne. Kelly rounds out the quartet. They all get in a mud bath and Tamra talks about how David’s mom acted at the kids’ gig. Vicki tells them about how his mother wanted him to stay with his mistress and would invite her to family dinners. Heather adds that the mistress was friends with his sister. No wonder Shannon is a mess. Tamra brings up the mother saying that Shannon pushed him to have an affair. In her interview, Vicki says you don’t have an affair if you’re happily married and it reminds her of what happened with her and Don.

Jim and Meghan go to her doctor’s appointment. The doctor asks if she’s been having any problems, but she says it’s all good except for being a little emotional. A little? They do a sonogram and listen to the baby’s heart. It looks like just one baby. Meghan starts to cry because you can’t please her. Jim tells her it’s okay like ten thousand times. In her interview she says it’s a happy moment, but she feels a huge sense of loss. What is she wearing on her index finger? It looks like a spring. Jim actually acts like a human being and comforts her.

The Beadors arrive at their rental house. There are about ten million boxes in there. I’ve never had to move a 13,000+ square foot house, but I did move into a new apartment when my office was moving at the same time. I dreamed about boxes. David wants a drink immediately. Shannon looks like she’s going to be sick. She takes a selfie out by the water. She’s both stressed and excited to move on.

Meanwhile, back at the spa, the girls get massages. Kelly and Vicki are in the same room and Vicki asks about Kelly’s marriage. Kelly says Michael ignored their anniversary, so she bought a purse and he thought some dude bought it for her. Vicki says she and Don were married almost twenty years and had everything. She says Kelly has to fix it and has to talk to Michael. In her interview, Vicki says she did the wrong thing by bailing. Kelly tells Vicki about Michael telling her to shut up. In the next room, Tamra and Heather can hear her and Tamra says she doesn’t think Kelly is happy in her marriage.

Vicki says it’s never just one person who causes a relationship to fall apart, it’s always two. Tamra talks about Michael being evaluated as a narcissist and how he tried to take her daughter away from her while they were separated. Vicki tells Kelly she’s going down a slippery slope.

The spa girls have lunch and cocktails. Tamra and Heather get to the table first and talk about Meghan’s store opening. Tamra jokes about getting her a candle as a gift. Ha-ha! Vicki and Kelly join them. Tamra asks who was yelling, and Kelly says she was crying and Vicki was giving her advice. I’d cry if I was getting advice from Vicki too. Kelly reveals her marriage isn’t going too well, and talks about Michael ignoring their anniversary. I can totally understand the guy leaving it up to the wife to plan – some guys just aren’t good with that kind of stuff – but to not even get a card is inexcusable. In her interview, Tamra says Kelly’s lashing out makes sense now. Tamra says it will get really bad before it gets better. She says you can’t win with a narcissist. Kelly says her mother thinks they should get a divorce, but she’s not sure what to do.

Shannon and David go out for dinner. David says he understands how difficult it is right now, but ultimately it will be a good move for them. He brings up his mother’s outburst and says Shannon didn’t deserve it. He thinks his mother blames herself for his father’s affairs and tells her she had nothing to do with his mistake. I hate when they use that word “mistake.” It sounds like, oops! I just ended up in bed with someone else for eight months. Shannon says it was the most hurtful thing his mother could have said. She wonders why his mother hasn’t liked her from the jump.

Shannon tells David she wasn’t mad at him, just his mother. David says he texted her that if she’s going to be disrespectful to Shannon, he can’t have her around. Wow. He must love Shannon. In her interview, Shannon says it shows his commitment. Holy! The plate of ribs Shannon ordered is humongous.

This season, Tamra farts on Eddie and loses her nipple cover (not at the same time), Michael gets drunk, Tamra’s competition happens, the ladies take a trip to Dublin (hide the liquor!) and go all Riverdance, there’s a trip to a dairy farm, Kelly calls Tamra a liar, Shannon and Tamra argue with Vicki, and Tamra gets hysterical.

Looks like a great season. 😨

Sep26

September 25, 2016 – Storybrooke is Back, Travis & Chris Part Ways, & New Jersey Goes to Vermont

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Like Willy Wonka, I am striking that and reversing it on Sunday nights, and it’s zombies before Wives. Now that Once Upon a Time is back, I had to switch my TV viewing sequence around.

Once Upon a Time

We are in an Arabian kingdom, flying carpets and all. A man says the kingdom is in great danger and they need a savior, but the savior is not seeing anyone today. The man is persistent and Jafar pops out and turns him into dust, along with the woman who was fielding the savior’s visitors. Jafar tells the savior that when they met, he was a common thief, and the fate of saviors is to give, breaking off their branches until all that’s left is a shaky stump. He says you never hear the words “happily ever after” about a savior. It’s Aladdin he’s talking to and he tells him to take care.

Hook and Emma are making out on the couch. The earth moves, but not in a good way. They go outside and see a ship floating through the air – awesome! It’s a dirigible from The Land of Untold Stories. Hyde appears, tells everyone that it’s his and that The Dark One gave him the town.

Regina and Emma zap Hyde, but he just laughs. He says nothing is more dangerous than an untold story and the people who don’t want them told. The dirigible crashes in the forest.

Emma and the others check it out. Snow says it looks like the people inside ran. Jekyll says he may be able to salvage a weapon to take down the stranger. Emma has a vision about fighting someone. Hook asks her what’s up, but she says nothing.

Rumple looks for Hyde. He’s exchanged the keys to Storybrooke for the answer to waking Belle. Hyde has told him in the Temple of Morpheus there are sands that will allow him to walk in Belle’s dreams and he can wake her from there. Rumple uses the sand and meets Morpheus in the forest. He tells Rumple welcome to Belle’s dream world and asks if he’d like to wake her up.

Regina visits Zelena and tells her what happened with Hyde. Zelena suggests barbecuing Hyde and puts her daughter down for a nap. Regina says nothing is working and they need to plan. Zelena has an arrow feather from Robin for her, but can’t find it. Regina puts a protection spell over the house and the vault.

Snow tells Regina that Jekyll finished his weapon, so they might not have to worry about protection. Regina tells Snow about Zelena forgetting where she put the feather, which she thinks is odd behavior. She decides to forget about it for now, since heroism comes first.

Hyde is holed up at the town hall. Regina pretends to have Jekyll prisoner to lure him outside. She tells Hyde to leave town and Jekyll is his. He suggests she keep both Jekyll and Storybrooke, and not embarrass herself. She distracts him while Emma aims Jekyll’s weapon, which looks like a small mortar, but she has another vision. She starts to shake and Regina almost gets strangled by Hyde. Emma finally shoots and Hyde becomes their prisoner. He tells Emma that he knows more than she does, and if she wants to know what’s happening to her, she knows where to find him.

Emma is all weird and shaky, while she’s messing around the dirigible. Archie (otherwise known as Jiminy Cricket) and Pongo come by with coffee. Emma says her parents must have sent him and she’s not in the mood for therapy right now. He says she’s been fighting forever and now that the walls are down, it’s let in collateral damage. He says there are no short cuts to fixing the big problems.

Emma goes to see Hyde. He calls her a smart girl, and she says keep calling her girl and he’ll find out how smart she is. He wants her to take off the cuffs. He says prisoners respond to carrots and sticks and she has neither. She starts to leave and he says he knows about the battle in her mind’s eye. She tells him that she’s been in prison and the worst part was being alone. She says she knows how he feels, and he can spill the beans or stay lonely. He can sit there in silence and rot. Hyde says she did come with a stick after all and it’s impressive except for one small thing – she’s afraid of him. He tells her he brought someone to help her with her problem, and to follow the red bird. He wonders if she’s ready for her story though.

I swear Rumple just said Belle is dreaming about White Castle, but I guess he said the white castle. He and Morpheus go into the castle and Belle acts like a servant. Morpheus tells Rumple that’s how she sees herself in her dream and he’s a beast. Morpheus sets up a giant hourglass timer. He says if Rumple doesn’t wake Belle in an hour, she’ll end up with a fiery fate. Rumple says he’ll make her fall in love with him again.

Morpheus says the castle terrifies Belle, but Rumple says it’s also where they fell in love. He says his love for her and their child will never be a lie. Belle brings tea and Rumple comes out in full Rumple regalia. Belle is all nervous and drops a cup, but he says everything is cool and maybe she should take a break. She asks him what’s going on. He says he has a ball to attend later and he asks her to dance. They dance to the music from Beauty and the Beast. He says there’s one more thing they need and he zaps the yellow ballgown onto her. She asks what’s come over him, and he says maybe he’s tired of being a beast. Very nice scene.

Zelena comes to Regina’s house and asks her if she got Hyde. Regina says yes, but it’s the first time she’s been back since Robin died. She asks Zelena to go. Zelena says they should be helping each other, but Regina says not this time because she blames Zelena. Zelena says what about Emma, who dragged her to hell? Regina says she chose to go, but she trusted Zelena, and Robin’s soul was destroyed. Zelena says Regina ripped out the part of her that made them most alike. Zelena says she and the baby will be gone by tonight, and she disappears poof! in a puff of green smoke.

Snow and the gang look for the people from the dirigible. Snow can tell that they’re afraid. She calls to them, saying Hyde is locked up and they want to help. They see shadows of people with torches come out of the forest. Snow tells them they’ll be at Granny’s where there’s food and shelter for them.

Emma walks through the forest with Hook and sees the red bird. She asks him to go and he knows something is up, but leaves. Emma follows the red bird. She sees a girl who says the bird is her pet. She says she knows many things, including why Emma is there. She says the visions tell a story of her future.

Regina is doing a locator spell when Henry walks in. She’s trying to find the feather and Henry says it’s not working because it’s looking for Robin and he’s gone. Regina says Hades told her that Robin’s soul was destroyed, but Henry believes that he’s in a special place.

Belle and Rumple dance. She says it’s a shame he’s been alone for so long and he says he wasn’t always alone; there was a son who left because he saw the darkness. Rumple says he had a chance to change but was too frightened. Belle asks if he could change now, would he? He says for her, he would be the best man he could be. They kiss.

All of the memories come flooding back. Belle says they’ve done this before and she can’t do this again. He explains they fell in love and got married and now their child is in danger. She put herself to sleep, but he needs her to wake up now. She says she loves him and believes he loves her, but together they cause heartbreak. Morpheus pops in and says he had to be sure Belle wouldn’t fall for Rumple’s lies again. Now he can wake her up with true loves kiss. She says she doesn’t know him and he says she’s known him since the day he was conceived. He’s their son and it’s his dream too. He says don’t let Rumple destroy them like he did his lost family.

Morpheus gives Belle a kiss on the forehead and she wakes up. Belle tells Rumple that their son was testing her, pretending to be Morpheus. Rumple says they can discuss it at home and makes sparkly, blue swirly things in the mirror. Belle says her son gave her a warning and she’s going to listen, and walks into the mirror.

The girl says she’s called an oracle, but knowing the future is a heavy burden. Emma sees herself battling a hooded figure. The Storybrooke crew are running toward them as Emma’s sword gets knocked from her hand. She tells the hooded figure she’s not going to let them get hurt. Her hand starts to shake and he runs his sword through her. The oracle says this is just a small piece of her end story. She can change the destination, but the result will be the same. She’ll die in the battle she saw. Since no one really dies on this show, I wouldn’t be too worried.

Emma goes back to Hyde. She asks him what’s coming and how to stop it. She says no matter what, she’ll defeat it. He says that’s what saviors always say, but there’s always a villain to bring them down. She has to ask herself if helping others is what causes her story to end.

Emma joins Hook at the bar. He says she’s in a better mood, and she tells him it was just stress, and Archie helped her. He asks if she’s sure and she says she is, and joins him in having a drink.

Snow tells Regina it will work out. Snow takes Regina’s hand and Regina says she was an awful stepmother. Snow says that’s in the past. Regina asks how she held up during those terrible times. She says the only way she could stay alive was to never give up and Regina is the one who taught her that hope is a choice. Regina says Hades was wrong; Robin is at peace. She’s been thinking about how the people with untold stories were hiding, and she says that’s exactly what she used to do. Her life had stopped. The only story she heard was the one she told herself, that she was the evil queen. She forgot the most important thing, that life isn’t just one story, there’s many. To some, she’s a villain, but to others, she’s a hero. They see her strength and ability to do right, even when she thought she couldn’t. She’s going to start a new story and chooses to believe this story will have a better ending.than the last one.

They walk off together, and we see a feather drop to the ground.

The untold story people are at Granny’s getting clothing and food. Belle looks out from inside Mr. Gold’s shop. Emma is looking mighty shaky.

Zelena comes home and sees Regina. No, it’s the Evil Queen. She tells Zelena that all she ever wanted was a sister, and when she got her wish, it was the wrong one. Zelena is shocked the Evil Queen is alive and she says she can’t be gotten rid of that easily. The Evil Queen suggest they have a drink and that it’s time for some sisterly bonding.

This season, the secret of the savior is revealed, Cinderella joins the team, and the Evil Queen and Zelena join forces.

Fear the Walking Dead

A crowd of people beg to come into the hotel. Alicia says it’s a mistake, they don’t have anything. Madison says sorry. The people grab at the gate. There is shouting and crying. Madison sees Travis among them.

Poor Mr Spanish Guy lies dead with Chris standing over him. Baby James is still alive. Travis takes charge and says he’s going to try and stitch up the wound. He runs to the house to look for whatever he can find, rifling through drawers. Surprisingly, he’s quite good at stitching, even though Baby James is twitching and whining the whole time. Now he has to do the exit wound. He says after he does that, they won’t move him until he’s better and Baby James finally shuts up. He ain’t called Baby for nothin’. I’m very impressed at both Travis’s cool and his skills.

Travis buries Mr. Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is with his family. Suarez! It’s Suarez. Now that he’s in the ground, I have his name. Travis is working on some kind of adrenaline because he’s just flying through all this.

The guys cook a chicken for dinner. Travis asks Baby James how he’s doing. His pain is only level 3 or 4, so he’s doing pretty well. Travis says he can’t help him if he doesn’t know what’s going on, so if anything gets worse, let him know. Travis asks Chris to talk. He tells Chris he killed a man today, and the least he could do is let it affect his appetite. Travis wants to know what he’s thinking. Chris says the guy shot his friend, what was he supposed to do? Travis says they’re savages. Chris says this is how it works now – no more good or bad, no right or wrong, it’s kill or be killed, sorrynotsorry. He tells Travis how he would hide every recess in middle-school and Travis told him to play along and fit in. Travis says the operative phrase was play along. Chris says Travis has proved his worth, and be careful how he plays it because they need theses guys .Travis says he doesn’t need them, but Chris says he does.

Madison tells them to open the gate for Travis. They manage to get Travis through a small opening while keeping the others out. He and Madison cling to each other.

Travis looks out from a balcony. Madison asks if he wants a shower, but he says no. You sure about that? She asks if he wants food and he says he doesn’t need anything. He asks where Victor is, and she says he ran off, possibly to Tijuana. She asks about Chris. Travis gets a weird look on his face and goes inside. He tells her he had no choice and she asks where Chris is.

We go back to earlier. The chickens have run out, so it’s moving day. Baby James claims his pain is at zero, but Travis is skeptical. The guys want to go to San Diego. Travis repeats that it’s burned and Chris says they never actually saw that. The guys all insist on leaving, but frankly, I think James looks scared.

Travis looks at Mr. Suarez’s grave and then goes inside the house .He looks at all the family pictures on the walls. Damn. And I thought I had a lot of photos. He finds Mr Suarez’s license and makes a grave marker using the info. Like this means anything. Chris says they’re leaving, and Travis says too bad, he’s finishing this.

Travis joins the rest and they slide Baby James into the bed of the truck. He doesn’t sound like his pain is a zero. Travis rides in the back with Baby James and Chris. They start off and already James isn’t looking too good. Travis checks his pulse and tells them if they don’t stop, Baby James is going to die. He barely has a pulse. They go back.

Travis hears Chris talking with the others. Travis tells them they need to give Baby James more time. He says they can survive there for enough time for James to heal. He tells them Baby James is scared of them, and he’s starting to get why. Travis grabs Chris’s gun. One of the guys says he doesn’t have the balls to use it and Travis shoots close. The guy jumps up, brandishing his own gun. Chris asks why Travis is doing this and he says he’s doing it for him.

Travis tends to Baby James. He tells him his buddies want to put him down. Baby James asks why Travis thinks he agreed to get in the truck? He tells Travis about another friend, Troy. He was sick and they knew he was going to turn, and kept their promise to kill him if he did. He says when the time came, he begged them not to do it. Baby James ended up doing the dirty work. Travis says it’s all the same no matter where they go, just different people. He tells Baby James he’s not sick or dying, he just needs time. Baby James says it doesn’t matter, what matters is they think he is and he’s considered dead weight. Travis fingers the gun.

James sleeps while Travis guards him. Chris knocks at the barn door, saying he wants to talk and brought food. Travis tells him to set it down and frisks him. He says the others are down the road. Travis tells him to sit down. Chris says he gets it and Travis asks what he gets. Chris says he understands why Travis is trying to save people, because life matters. Chris says they’ve known Baby James since he was six and still want to kill him, so imagine what they might do to him. I wouldn’t trust this kid as far as I could throw him.

Yep. Travis is caught off-guard and Chris gets the better of him and lets the others in. Baby James begs for his life and Travis says don’t do it. Too late. Baby James is dead. I knew Chris was faking it – playing along. Travis is seriously bummed. Chris has his gun back and they guys pack the truck up again. Travis wants to talk to Chris. He tells Chris the name of the farmer and says he was born on Chris’s birthday. He tells Chris that this is forever and he’s barely 16. If he drives away, Travis will never find him. Chris tells him that his way doesn’t work. Travis promises to take care of him. Chris says by letting him go, he is. He says he’s adapting and better off without Travis. He says Travis found it in him to kill Chris’s zombified mother. Travis says there’s a difference and Chris says, no, there’s not, so that settles it. As they drive away, Travis begs Chris not to go. Then curses him out. I’ll bet we see Chris and the bros somewhere down the line again. Travis starts to walk.

Travis tells Madison he walked for two days and saw the hotel light, and what are the chances? He’s bummed about leaving Chris, but Madison tells him they’ll get through this. He says he failed his son and his wife. He goes back out on the balcony. Madison says he said it himself, there was no choice. Travis says he could have gone along with it. It would have been wrong, but he would have done right by Chris. Madison says he’s still out there. Travis says he was wrong when Chris threatened Alicia, and they should be parents first. Madison did what she was supposed to, but his priority should have been Chris. He says the whole time he was walking, he thought about how he should have told Chris he loved him. Instead, the last thing he said was “God damn you.” He says when Chris was a boy, he had a big heart, but by the time Madison met him, he was angry. Travis says he allowed Chris to become that way. He says they’re living minute by minute, and at any time, it could be over. He wishes he had ended things differently. Madison says she has to find Alicia and leaves.

Alicia and Andres are tending to the patients in a makeshift infirmary. Madison asks Alicia to come with her. They go out on the dock. Madison says there’s something Alicia needs to understand and to hear her out. She says it’s about Alicia’s father and his accident, and that it wasn’t an accident. She thought she was doing the right thing by not telling her. Alicia says Madison said he fell asleep at the wheel, and Madison says he didn’t. Alicia asks how she can be certain,  and Madison says he left a note in his glove box. Alicia starts to cry and asks what it said. Madison says it’s not important. He was a man of few words who could be quite precise. Alicia insists. It said, I love you all and enough’s enough.

Alicia asks if Nick knows. Madison says Nick is why she kept it a secret. She says there’s a lot of Alicia’s father in Nick. She lists his positive qualities and says he just couldn’t see it. She asks to hold Alicia’s hand. She says she was afraid of Nick ending up like her father, but she never loved Alicia any less. She just thought Alicia was all right. Alicia says she had to be and Madison apologizes. She hugs Alicia. Alicia says she loves Madison too.

Travis takes a shower. He stands with his forehead on the wall.

Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. A small group comes to the gate . It’s those guys, but I don’t see Chris.

Next time, the 2-hour finale, Travis finds Chris, Victor returns, and there are lots and lots of zombies to make up for this episode.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Love Melissa’s dress in the opening. I’ll bet I’d like the stuff in her store. If I could fit in it.

The end of the last episode repeats. At lunch, Rosie wonders if Teresa never wants to be a family again. Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks her to respect that. She says she wishes them the best. Kathy asks if they can at least come away with a possibility. Teresa says they’re cousins and will always be there for each other as family. She and Joe #2 leave.

Teresa starts to cry and does that fanning thing. She says it’s exhausting. Joe #2 talks about how they were taught to never cry. He tells Teresa if that’s how she feels, that’s how she feels, and she says she feels like she doesn’t want to be around Kathy and Rosie.

Siggy and Dolores visit Jacqueline. They want the skinny on what happened. Jacqueline calls Kathy and Rosie. Kathy says Teresa said she has a lot on her plate and wants to keep her distance right now, but her door is open. Kathy makes like everything went more okay than it was.

Teresa packs for Vermont while Milania does some break dancing. Teresa wants the girls to spend time with their father, since he’ll be going to the pokey away soon.

Joe #2 tells Melissa it’s good of her to plan the trip. He says Teresa was really stressed out by the lunch with Kathy and Rosie, and thinks she could use the break. Melissa wants everyone to just have fun and not worry about anything. Good luck with that. Mutual friends Robyn and Christina are also coming. She tells Joe about how Jacqueline and Teresa seem to be doing better, but thinks Jacqueline still doubts Teresa and is paranoid of Melissa’s friendship with her.

Kim D (who the name Plastic would actually fit) is at her store, Posche. We flash back to the stupid fashion show she had where she tried to “expose” Melissa as a stripper. Or as Melissa says it, “shtripper.” Jacqueline and Siggy come in. Kim gossips about Melissa’s store and says that one of her assistants is selling stories. Jacqueline brings up Teresa selling books for cash at a time when it looked badly for her, and how it was leaked to the press. Siggy talks about how Melissa and Teresa are getting along better, but Kim D will have none of that, saying it’s all an act.

Joe #1 looks at a brochure on vaginal rejuvenation. I don’t want to know. Robyn and Christina arrive with their suitcases, as well a Melissa and Joe #2. The party bus comes with Jacqueline and Chris, and everyone gets on it. Since Joe #1 has been a bad boy, he can’t come. He’s not allowed to leave the state.

They discuss skiing, and who is good at it or not, swapping war stories. Joe #2 has already had enough of all the ladies talking at once. Siggy offers Teresa any help she might need when she’s a “single mother.” Chris says he’s the only one she can count on, and Joe brings up him trying to date Teresa. Chris says she was only interested in Joe #1.

Somehow the lunch comes up. Teresa compares it to breaking up with a guy – you still love him, but there’s nothing there. Robyn talks about actions speaking louder than words, but Dolores says they’re good people. We flash back to an issue Robyn had with Rosie. She says Rosie won’t even acknowledge her. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Robyn one of “Teresa’s soldiers,” and she questions Teresa having changed. Melissa says there seems to be no meeting of the minds, and Jacqueline starts getting loud about the message not having been clear. Melissa thinks she’s trying to push the relationship. Jacqueline says that if Teresa doesn’t want it, she totally gets it, but she needs to make it understood. Joe interjects that they might have gotten the wrong message when she said her door was open. Melissa opens some champagne. In her interview, Dolores says Robyn doesn’t really mesh well with the others.

After eight hours, they finally arrive and go immediately to the bar. They’ve rented a villa, and the suites or whatever are divvied up. Siggy tries on the many hats she’s brought with her.

Dinner time! All the women have their bathrobes on over their clothes. I have no clue why. It’s a family style meal and looks pretty damn good. Melissa announces her fashion show. Teresa thanks everyone for hanging out with her before Joe #1 leaves. Everyone says something positive and they toast. Joe #2 and Chris play shuffleboard (except it’s like a foosball table) and the girls go outside by the fire-pit.

Jacqueline tells Melissa what Kim D said about her assistant Derek and how he’s selling stories. In her interview, Melissa says Kim D is scraping the bottom of the barrel for gossip. She reminds the others about Kim D stirring the pot, trying to out her as the shtripper she never was. We flash back to that, and also a problem that Kim started between Jacqueline and Teresa. Teresa suggests Melissa just check Derek out.

Joe #2 talks to Chris about being glad he was born a man when he hears the girls bitching. Robyn tells Jacqueline she’s confusing and not very direct. She feels that Jacqueline tried to attack her and Jacqueline talks about her being a “loyal soldier” to Teresa. Robyn suggests they bring Teresa into the conversation, and in her interview, Jacqueline wonders why Robyn wants to drag Teresa into it. Um, maybe because you’re talking about her? Robyn asks Jacqueline what her problem is, and she says she wants to rage on Jacqueline’s ass. Jacqueline says bring it on and they tell each other to STFU and do that “no, you” stuff that I find funny coming from adults.

Jacqueline gets up and gets in Robyn’s face. Teresa comes out and asks what’s happening and they continue their argument. In her interview, Teresa says she’s never seen Robyn like this and wouldn’t be surprised if Jacqueline crossed the line. They go inside and Jacqueline keeps it up. Robyn calls her an instigator and Jacqueline tells Teresa she thought she’d cleaned house, but she forgot to take out the garbage. She’s so nasty. Or vicious, as Michael Rapaport would say.

Meanwhile back at Teresa’s house, Milania tries to cook while Joe #1 gives instructions like, don’t burn that. I can tell he’s at the end of his rope already and it’s only early morning.

Jacqueline refuses to come out of her room because she’s five years old. Teresa says she antagonizes the situation (ha-ha – I think she means aggravates) and then plays the victim. Truth! Melissa comes to breakfast in a bizarre ski outfit. Teresa asks Dolores why Jacqueline isn’t coming out and Dolores says she’s bummed. Poor baby.

Jacqueline tells Chris about how Robyn said she wanted her ass, so she sat one her. Chris says they’re out of control.

The rest of the group goes to a dog sledding place. Dolores totally loves on one of the dogs. Teresa keeps saying she’s scared, but don’t they have three dogs, one of which is a German Shepherd? Everyone gets in the sleds and the dogs are super excited. We see everything all shaky-cam on the ride. Melissa says it’s too bad Jacqueline didn’t come and that she tends to create her own issues. Dolores has gotten a text telling them there’s nothing wrong and some TMI about Jacqueline and Chris.

Time to ski. Robyn immediately falls on her ass and continues to do so. Joe is next. I refuse to laugh because I’ve never been skiing and can just imagine. Teresa tells Melissa she’s glad they’re in a good place. She asks for help in understanding Jacqueline, because it doesn’t seem to be going as well. Melissa says her relationship with Jacqueline has changed, since she seems to be paranoid about trusting Teresa.

Siggy and Dolores go back to the villa and Jacqueline says since Chris has to leave, she wants to go too. She says the weekend is about Teresa and Robyn is her friend, so she thinks it’s for the best. Siggy gets ridiculous about how they won’t have a good time without her. In her interview, Dolores is upset because this new person is causing a problem. Frankly, I think Jacqueline is acting like a big baby. She claims to be fearful of Robyn, since she said she wanted to kick Jacqueline’s ass, but Jacqueline started it and she’s the one with the tough girl tagline. She always seems to be spoiling for a fight, but I guess the real truth is, she’s all mouth. Then again, didn’t she punch Caroline Manzo? And her daughter, Ashlee, is the one who pulled out Danielle Staub’s weave way back when. Yeah, now I need help understanding Jacqueline too.

In her interview, Teresa says that Jacqueline is calculated (um…calculating?) and hits you where it hurts.

Big baby Jacqueline packs. Dolores tells her that Teresa is on probation can’t be around any arguments. Jacqueline says if she stays there will be an argument, and they both whine about the new person. Siggy says they have to protect Teresa. Dolores says Robyn is a threat and they should tell her. Honestly, these women think everyone has short term memory loss. Robyn did not start this argument.

Next time, Teresa doesn’t want to ask Robyn to leave, Joe #2 says this is like a soap opera, Jacqueline wags her finger in Teresa and Melissa’s faces while pulling out her phone, and Dolores goes nuts.

Sep24

September 23, 2016 – We Lose GH’s Sabrrrina, But Gain Back Citizen Z & the Usual Quotes

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Franco gives Elizabeth some tea. The doorbell rings and he thinks it’s the home nurse, but it’s Jason.

There’s a knock at Finn’s door. It’s Hayden bearing empty to-go coffee cups. Please, at least pretend. How many times do I have to tell these people? She wants to celebrate her freedom. She says she knows he’s bummed about the hospital, but he could at least return her texts. His room looks like a tornado hit it and she asks what the blip happened.

Curtis wakes Valerie, telling her she’s late for work, but she’s not pulling the early shift. She set the alarm for something else. Woo-woo.

Jordan peruses her laptop at the station. Andre chastises her for eating pizza for breakfast, but she says its not breakfast if she hasn’t been to bed yet. He tells her about how Mayor Lomax is patting herself on the back for closing the hospital. Jordan says the only way to make the hospital safe is to catch the killer. Andre says, let’s get to work then.

Griff presides over Sabrrrina’s funeral. He talks about how resilient Sabrrrina was in the face of adversity and her determination to find the best in people. He says they’re there to celebrate her life. He invites the attendees to talk about her. Lucy gets up and thanks Sabrrrina for everything she gave to all of them.

Hayden tells Finn about Naomi covering for her. He says he knows how much she’s suffered for her father’s crimes. She says he doesn’t know the half of it, and tells him about Jeff Webber being her real father and how that insufferable twit Elizabeth is her sister.

Jason brings Elizabeth a homemade card and she asks how Jake is. She wonders why Jason is wearing a suit and he says it’s for Sabrrrina’s funeral. You’re going to be late, dude.

Jordan says Andre still has his patients to look after, but he says the quicker the case is solved, the quicker GH will reopen. He says they need to figure out how Sabrrrina’s murder factors in.

Curtis and Valerie finish what she set the alarm for. He suggests she play hooky, but she says she can’t with the killer on the loose. She feels that she should have been more alert when she got the bop in the head at the hospital. Curtis says she got off easy, and if she’d turned around, she would have been killed. Curtis says the veterans haven’t caught the killer either and she doesn’t have to solve every murder. She says just the last one – Sabrrrina’s.

Lucy goes up to the podium. She talks about how Sabrrrina was determined to revive the Nurses Ball. She believed in what it stood for – compassion, community, and coming together to do something good. She says Sabrrrina is the reason she came back to Port Charles. She thanks Sabrrrina, saying she’ll be eternally grateful, and also to Felix. She asks him to come up next. He probably should have been first since he’s the only one I’ve seen cry real tears.

Elizabeth wants to go to the funeral. Franco says she’d still be in the hospital if it hadn’t closed. Jason says she’s not strong enough yet, and Sabrrrina would have told her the same thing. He leaves and Franco asks if he can get Elizabeth anything, She says she needs her friends to stop dying. She goes down Memory Lane, mentioning Emily and Nicholas. It doesn’t look like we’ll be seeing Nicholas again either, at least not in the form of Tyler Christopher.

Hayden says when she was little, she was desperate for a sister, someone to play with, confide in and trust. She says her so-called sister is the reason she went to jail and Finn says something about it being a miscommunication. Hmm…not the word I’d use. She asks why he destroyed his room and says Carly won’t be too happy. He tries to get her to leave, but no.

Jordan goes through the victims. Andre says the killer is being sloppy. Jordan thinks Sabrrrina was a mistake and that maybe she could have ID’d him. Andre says the hospital is the common denominator. They talk about the shoes and cufflink being from a well dressed man. Jordan says she works best with a partner. Valerie and Curtis walk in. Curtis sees the pizza and asks if they pulled an all-nighter and if they’re close to a breakthrough.

Felix says it still seems impossible that Sabrrrina is gone. He says they’re not here for bitterness, but to talk about how amazing Sabrrrina was. Jason arrives, apologizing to Michael for being late, and saying he’s there for him. Felix wants to pay tribute but doesn’t know where to start. He amends that, saying that he doesn’t want to, because if he starts, that means there has to be an end. Preach it.

Commercial break. An ad for ABC Soaps in Depth, and the headline is GH: Shocker: Paul Confesses to Tracy. 😯

Felix talks about how close he and Sabrrrina were, and how, no matter what was going on, she always made time for him. He says she could brighten the darkest day, and he wishes with all his heart he didn’t have to get through this day without her. I’ll let it slide that if she was there, he wouldn’t need to get through this day.

Hayden refuses to leave. She tells Finn it’s time to change up their dance and she’s tired of him pushing her away to protect her feelings. She says she’s tough now, after spending a night in jail. She tells him a fatal illness is a lot, emotionally and physically, and he can talk to her, she won’t break. Finn says he might. He says his tantrum had nothing to do with him being sick. Hayden asks why he’s upset, and he shows her a tie with Einstein and E-MC2 on it, a gift from his dead wife. It’s their anniversary.

Jordan asks Curtis what he’s doing there, and he says dropping off Valerie. He asks if they think the killer is a doctor. He says doctors do have a God complex – no offense to Andre, who says he and his complex forgive Curtis. He says a lot of people go through the hospital and this is someone who wouldn’t be questioned. Jordan says someone like a cop?

Dante thinks he has a lead. He tells Tracy that the killer didn’t plan this out and there might be DNA evidence. Griff asks if there’s anyone else who wants to share. Elizabeth comes in supported by Franco and says she will.

Elizabeth takes the podium. She talks about how she and Sabrrrina clicked right away and that taking care of patients was in her blood. She says Sabrrrina was one of the kindest people she’s ever known. She might have made mistakes, but never for the wrong reasons. She says starting today, for Sabrrrina, she’ll try to be more like her, and it’s the best way to honor her memory.

Finn tells Hayden that his wife was the best doctor he’s ever known. He says she had a way of making everyone happy and having fun with whatever she did. He says when he got too serious, she’d buy him a crazy novelty tie. He never wore them because he doesn’t like to call attention to himself. Hayden is like, says the guy with the bearded dragon. Finn tells her that Roxie is a showboater and not to blame him because she’s a star.

He tells Hayden that one day they weren’t as careful with samples as they should have been and his wife got exposed. She got sick because of him. She’d wanted to go home, but he’d wanted to stay and find a cure. She never blamed him, and gave him the tie on their last anniversary. She wanted him to wear it to show the world.

Jordan asks Curtis if he’s accusing one of the PCPD of being a murderer. He says it’s someone who can move undetected through the hospital, and Jordan tells Valerie to make a list of non-medical personnel, especially those who would have an ID.

Michael gets up next. He wonders how to sum Sabrrrina up. He talks about her kindness and her big heart and how fun she was to be around. He says how good she was with Avery. When he saw her tenderness, patience and love, he realized that he loved her. He starts to break up and Carly goes to him. She asks if she can say something.

Carly talks about Michael being estranged from his family and Sabrrrina encouraging forgiveness. She’s grateful for the bridge and for the happiness Sabrrrina brought Michael. Michael says that Sabrrrina left the place a better world than she found it, and he’s grateful he got to know and love her. I call Paul an a-hole.

Griff gets up and asks Epiphany to take the floor. Where does he want her to take it? She says that Sabrrrina was a wonderful gift and it’s not going to be easy without her, but they’ll do their damnedest to measure up. She sings You’re Not Alone. Love, love, love Epiphany. As she sings, instead of getting flashbacks like we should, the camera pans over the crowd. We see Hayden put the tie on Finn, and Valerie looking at Sabrrrina’s picture at the station. I call Paul a d-bag. Even though I wasn’t a huge Sabrrrina fan, this all makes me want to cry.

Commercial break. Don’t forget, Once Upon a Time has its season premiere this Sunday.

Afterward Jason tells Michael that if he needs anything, let him know. Michael says thanks, but maybe he can do some good for someone, which is what Sabrrrina would have wanted.

Hayden says she knows the best way to celebrate and Finn tells her no selfies. Finn says Hayden and his wife would have liked one another, and they toast to her with the empty to-go cups.

Elizabeth thanks Franco for taking her to the memorial. He tells her to rest or he’ll end up in trouble. She asks if hell be there when she wakes up and he says if she wants him to. She does.

Griff tells Tracy that he hopes Sabrrrina has peace now. Paul looks at Sabrrrina’s pic.

Valerie has downloaded some files and asks Andre to help weed through them. Curtis tells Jordan about how they tried to bust a cartel once, and how the guy they were looking for was right under their noses the whole time.

Paul flashes back to killing Sabrrrina. He apologizes to her picture, and Tracy asks what he’s sorry for. He says, “I killed her.” DUN-DUN-DUNN! I guess Soaps in Depth wasn’t kidding

On Monday, Paul confesses to Tracy, Sam confronts Alexis, and Sonny tells Jason someone needs to pay.

Z Nation

Pup and Citizen Z have set off for parts unknown. They nearly freeze to death, but a native girl finds them.

Meanwhile, Operation Bitemark and Escorpion get trounced and are being held captive by some kind of Asian soldier group. The female leader sees Murphy in a speedboat. She scans Roberta with something that looks like an iPad and Roberta’s information comes up. She does the same thing to the others, and the soldiers take blood samples from them. When she gets to Escorpion, the screen comes up with a list of his crimes. He tells her that career opportunities were somewhat limited in his neighborhood. While she’s busy with that, Roberta gets a soldier’s gun, but her plan doesn’t work, and they become captives once again. The soldiers dispatch a few zombies.

On the water, Murphy has his own little gang. He orders Dr. Merch and a bunch of military guys out of the boat. Murphy swipes the captain’s hat and 10K emerges from the boat, asking what happened. He says they have to find the others, but Murphy says they’re going their own way now, to start a new world. They all get into military vehicles. Dr. Merch and 10K ride with Murphy.

The woman asks Roberta where Murphy is and says his blood is their mission. One of the soldiers is radioed by a plane. The soldiers push OBM forward.

None of the people with Murphy seem to drive very well. They have to stop when one of the vehicles has a tire issue. Zombies come out of the woods. Never mind. These must be people. They have weapons and look like Vikings. They don’t respond to Murphy and the captain gets a machete to the head. It’s not going well for the other soldiers and Murphy tells 10K to kill the Vikings. WTF?

Murphy says starvation and killing is all that’s left; last stop for humanity, everybody off. Dr. Merch has an asthma attack, but Murphy calms it by looking at her. The plane drops some cargo. A group of Duck Dynasty guys run out of the woods toward where the parachutes are landing. Maybe they’re part of the Viking group.

Citizen Z has crazy dreams. He wakes and is being given some water. He doesn’t look good at all. He wakes again and is a little more cognizant. He’s naked and a naked girl sleeps next to him. Pup drinks from a water dish next to their floor mat. As soon as he sees Pup is fine, Citizen Z goes back to sleep.

The soldiers continue to march OBM through the woods and shoot zombies as they go. Doc is glad to see someone else doing the work for once. The zombies keep coming. One of the soldiers throws a grenade. Wait. It’s not a grenade. It’s a laser light show coming out of a ball. Doc says it’s a zombie rave and to pass the z-weed. The zombies stare at the green laser beams, something shoots out and they keel over. Roberta and Escorpian kill a couple of zombies with their hands tied behind their backs, and Escorpion suggests they work better when their hands are free.

An unfettered OBM walk through the woods. The female leader introduces herself as Dr. Sun from Laos. (She says Laos didn’t survive. They only have 200,000 people left.) She says they stayed behind the wall of the Forbidden City, a group of the best scientists from Asia, but failed to develop a vaccine. They need Murphy’s platelets.

10K asks Murphy what’s happening. Murphy says they have to keep moving. OMG – it’s a ball of zombies rumbling through the woods, taking down trees as they go! Murphy says it’s zombies eating zombies because there aren’t enough humans. He says without him, this is how the world ends – no humans just starving z’s. Dr. Merch asks what he’s going to do with her. He says she’ll bring him to the masses and she’ll go down in history. He tells 10K to put the zombies out of their misery. Murphy points out that 10K has stopped counting.

Roberta explains mercy to Dr. Sun . They stop for water and a couple of characters out of The Warriors watch them. Dr. Sun gives OBM their weapons back. Even better, gives them some modified weapons from her group.

Citizen Z wakes again, this time alone. He sits up, gets out of bed and stretches. He sees a girl sitting nearby. She says you’re up and he says it happens in the morning sometimes. Ha-ha! He covers himself with the blanket. She knows who he is and is a huge fan, although not in a Kathy Bates with a sledgehammer kind of way. She says she’s excited, but I’d hate to see not excited, since everything she says is very deadpan. Her name is Kia and she explains that he’s been out for two days and had hypothermia, which was why she was in bed with him. She introduces her Uncle Koskay and Nana who are sitting at the table having tea. Pulling the blanket tighter, he thanks them for their hospitality and gets his clothes back.

Kia, her uncle and Citizen Z stand outside. She tells him he’s been their connection to the world. She loves his vibe, but thinks he could stand to play more hip-hop. There aren’t any zombies around because of the ice and snow. There were also fewer humans.

Dr. Sun says her people sacrificed greatly for the mission and it’s their last hope. Oooh, I like Roberta’s vest, it’s OD green with little pockets and laces up the front. They see some characters from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Escorpion calls them Enders. He says they’re humans whose brains are fried. The group sees where the parachutes landed. It looks like an old airplane hangar. Roberta says they’re not the only ones who saw the parachutes. Doc tells her to put her dancin’ shoes on because there’s going to be a party.

They enter the hangar and Roberta asks Escorpion if he missed all the fun. Dr. Sun wonders where the people ahead of them want. She uses her iPad-looking thing to play Pokemon GO hone in on where the supplies are. They toss one of the laser grenades at the people from The Devil’s Rejects. It gets tossed back and the soldiers get nailed. Dr. Sun freaks out and runs to tend one of them. All hell breaks loose.

While OBM are fighting the Hills Have Eyes bunch, the doctor whines about failing her people. Escorpion pulls a giant nail out of the soldier, who says it’s just a flesh wound. Dr. Sun cries some more about failure and doesn’t want to go back without a cure. Geez, all of a sudden, a zombie pops out of nowhere and poor nail guy gets slammed and eaten. When life hands you zombies, get out of the way. This causes Dr. Sun to wail even louder.

Addie comes out with her modified battle ax, but this zombie is tough and big. Escorpian shoots him from behind. The lieutenant is zobified and the doctor kills him and sobs over his body. Roberta drags her away and says they need to look for the supplies. Doc says the supplies better be damn awesome because he needs a pick-me-up right about now.

The supply drop is gone, even the vehicle. No surprise, the doctor brings failure into the picture one more time, adding the ancestors will never know peace. There are storm clouds in the sky and it begins to thunder. The doctor says there’s a reckoning coming. Roberta tells her to call in more supplies, but that was it and the radio is destroyed. Roberta asks what Dr. Sun wanted with their blood. The doctor says they’ve been with Murphy from the beginning and they’ve survived for so long, maybe it was biological. Roberta says they’re the ones who kept Murphy going; he didn’t rub off on them. The doctor wants to have a pity party, but Roberta says Dr. Sun is part of her mission now. Doc asks if the mission has changed. Dr. Sun asks about Murphy, and Roberta says they’ve all survived for some cosmic reason, and it’s up to them.

Murphy drives up in a mini-tank with Dr. Merch. Roberta asks about 10K and Murphy just shakes his head. He says hi to Escorpion, who says he’s just Hector now. Murphy applauds his Road to Damascus moment and says he had his own epiphany. He tells them the submarine sank, but there was no lab on it, only Zona and now he has their nectar. He says there was no mission and asks Roberta to come with him to a new world. He says she can even bring everyone else.

Roberta says no thanks, and tells him about Dr. Sun and that she has a fully equipped lab on a ship not far away. Murphy says no one is poking holes in him again. He wants to forget about humanity and invites them to join his mission.

Roberta draws a gun on Murphy and tells him get out of the car. A bullet whizzes by and Doc wonders if it’s 10K. Either a bunch of zombies or the guys from Slipknot are coming over the hill. Murphy says time to choose him or what’s left of humanity. He says it’s blend time; the humans lost the race – just ask them. He tells them TTYL and drives away.

Murphy picks up 10K on his way out, and we see that he has a bite on the back of his neck. Oh wow. He was adamant about not wanting that last season, so I’m wondering if he was willing.

Dr. Sun says she’s not a survivor. Roberta says, yet she survived. The doctor asks if she’s a prisoner and Roberta says she’ll try trusting her. Doc says he thinks it was 10K who shot at them. Roberta tells him they’ll have to forget about that. They’re going to stop Murphy from creating a race of blends.

Citizen Z, Kia and her family watch the Northern Lights. Kia says she’s glad he’s there, and Citizen Z says he is too.

Murphy rides on.

The Man sees the damage that’s been done at the supply drop. I recognized those flip-flops right away. He looks at his list. The only name on it is Murphy’s. The Man walks out into the whatever.

Next time, Roberta is determined to stop Murphy, a mailman attracts zombies, and Murphy manages to get stuck in traffic.

Quotes of the Week

I was trying to remember the name of that singer Rihanna used to date … and then it hit me. —Lady Bunny referring to Chris Brown

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. — Mohammed Ali

Don’t screw with my disco, Nadine. — Corin Nemic as Harold, The Stand