What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Geneva, Switzerland. Laura is on her tablet, when Doc asks if she’s ready for a break. They have those dinner reservations. She says, in just a minute. She’s almost done. Doc says, of course (🍷). Even in Europe, the Mayor of Port Charles can’t stop working. How are things stateside? She says, this is not work, and he says, right. Nikolas. She says, exactly. She’s narrowing down where to travel next to continue the search. He says, yesterday, they found out Nikolas is alive, and there couldn’t have been better news, but it also made something else crystal clear. Her son doesn’t want to be found.

Valentin lets Martin into his new house, and Martin says, wow. Now that this place is fully furnished, he’s impressed. Valentin thanks him, and Martin says he’s sure Valentin didn’t call him over to compliment his decorating. Valentin says, this isn’t a social call, and Martin says, the meter is running. What’s on his mind? Valentin says, first he wants to know whatever he tells Martin is covered by attorney/client privilege, and Martin says, of course (🍷). It always is. Valentin says, even if it’s about somebody else? and Martin says, it depends on who he’s referring to. Valentin says, it’s his daughter. Charlotte’s future depends on their conversation today.

At the Bistro, Anna’s phone rings, and she says, good morning, Sonny. He asks, how’s the security team he gave her? and she says she has no complaints. The guard is outside doing an excellent job of seeming unobtrusive. He says, that’s exactly what he wanted the guard to do for her, and she thanks him for the extra layer of protection. She knows she was highly resistant initially, but she finds it’s making her feel better. He says, that was the plan. He knows she doesn’t like to ask for help. He doesn’t like to ask for help, but he’s got her back. Call him if she needs anything. She says she bets she’s not the only person he’s looking out for, and he says, she’s right about that. There’s one person in particular.

In her cell room, Sasha says she can do this. She’s going to be okay. A nurse comes in, and says, according to Sasha’s chart, she was unfocused when she was readmitted yesterday. So as a reminder, she won’t be able to leave her room without permission, and at least for the time being, she won’t be allowed any visitors. Sasha says, okay, but what about her doctors? and the nurse says, she’ll still continue to receive the absolute best care here, but if she wants to leave Ferncliff, she’s going to have to do her part. Sasha says she plans to do just that.

On the phone and packing again, Gladys asks if there’s going to be a car to pick her up in San Jose… There’s no check-out date; it’s an open-ended stay at the hotel… Okay. Perfect. She looks at the coat in her hands, and says she bought it for when they’d be in New York. There are no cold days in Central America. There’s a knock at the door, but she continues packing. The knob begins to rattle, and Sam walks in. Gladys asks what Sam thinks she’s doing, breaking into her home, and Sam says she guesses Gladys didn’t hear her knocking. Or did she?

Laura tells Doc, Nikolas is her son, and she go to the end of the earth to save him, just like she would for Lucky and Lulu. He says he’s not questioning her commitment as a mother, but they have to face facts. Nikolas has been taking money out of his accounts; they know that. She asks what his point is, and he says, it proves he doesn’t want any contact with her. He hasn’t contacted Spencer or even Esme about his new baby son Ace. He’s sending every possible signal that he doesn’t want to interact with his family. She says she thinks if her son was in his right mind, he wouldn’t be doing that. She doesn’t want to abandon him in his hour of need. He says he mostly agrees with her. Personally, he feels Nikolas could and would benefit from her guidance right now, but there are extenuating circumstances. When he imprisoned Esme, he knew that he was breaking the law. So her son is running away from potential criminal charges and his responsibilities as a father. If a newborn son isn’t enough to bring him home, what could she possibly have to offer? She says, what more could she possibly offer her son? How about redemption?

Sasha dreams about Dr. Montague giving her an injection, and wakes with a start. At the desk, Janice says she wishes there were another way for Montague to help Sasha, and he says, so does he, but his relationship with Miss Gilmore has been compromised. She says, he means because of Cody Bell attacking him and kidnapping Sasha? and he says, yes. As a result of that, Sasha was left with a conflation of traumatic events. She can’t even see him without recalling the abduction. He doesn’t know if that’s because of the drugs or her brain is confused. She thinks Cody Bell was trying to rescue her, and he’s the bad guy. Janice says, anyone who knows him knows that can’t possibly be true. Sasha’s truly delusional. He says, which leaves him no choice but to remove himself from her case. He hands Janice some paperwork, and she thanks him. He says he was only working at Ferncliff to take care of Sasha. Now that’s no longer the case, she won’t be seeing him here again. She says, he’ll definitely be missed, and he thanks her. He says he’s sure she’ll be seeing him around town again, and leaves.

Gladys says she knows her front door was locked, and Sam isn’t even trying to hide her little lock pick tool. Breaking and entering is a serious crime. She should call the cops on Sam. Sam says she thinks calling the cops is a great idea. Call away. Gladys says, oh right. She forgot. Sam is shacked up with Detective Falconari. Of course (🍷) he’s going to take Sam’s word over hers. Sam says, they don’t have to involve Dante in this. Call anyone at the PCPD. Although she thinks calling the cops might delay Gladys’s trip a little bit. Where is it Gladys said she was going? Gladys tells Sam that she didn’t say, and she’s not going to. Sam isn’t welcome in her home. Sam laughs and says, Gladys’s home. Last time she checked, this was Sasha’s apartment. Gladys says, Sasha’s not well. She’s not here. Sam can just beat it. Sam says, that’s interesting, considering Gladys’s daughter-in-law is not well and she’s still going on a trip. How does she think Brando would feel about that? Gladys says she doesn’t have to take this from Sam, and Sam says, that’s fine. She sits down and says, but she’s not going anywhere. Not until Gladys exonerates Sasha.

Doc says, Nikolas is Laura’s son, and he knows she’ll never give up on him, so hear that first please. But also hear him when he says, at the end of the day, redemption is the last thing Nikolas wants. She says she wouldn’t disagree with him there at all, but what we want and what we need are two very different things. He says, she couldn’t be more right. Most people can’t reconcile or admit that this is what I need in my life. Believe him. Nikolas is fortunate to have her on his side. She says she knows right now it appears Nikolas is just running from his problems. Her brain knows he committed a crime and can’t face up to it, but her heart loves him exactly the same. So she’s going to love and support him until he gets his damn head on straight. He says, of course (🍷) she is, because that’s who she is, and he hopes that happens. But he also knows that’s not going to happen until Nikolas is willing to put aside his immediate desires and focus on his responsibilities and the needs of his children. She looks away, and he says, too harsh? but she says, too accurate. She knows Spencer is suffering from the absence of his father and Ace will too eventually, but that’s why she needs to find him. She needs to shake some sense into him. (I’d like to see that.) He says, Nikolas has the money and resources to stay hidden a long time, and it breaks his heart to see her chasing after someone who doesn’t value the love and attention she’s willing to shower on him. She says, okay. She hears him. She’s not giving up her search.

Jordan meets Anna at the Bistro, and Anna asks if everything is all right. Jordan says, it’s fine. She’s just juggling a lot at the same time. What else is new? By the way, she noticed a man lingering outside. She knows most people wouldn’t take a second glance at him, but her cop instincts are shouting at her pretty loudly that he’s no random innocent. Anna says, would that be the super serious guy, kind of tall, definitely not smiling, very focused? Jordan says, that would be the man she’s referring to, and Anna says, that would be her bodyguard. Jordan asks when Anna started hiring bodyguards, and Anna says she didn’t. He’s on Sonny’s payroll, part of his security  team, which she thinks is pretty generous. Jordan says, it’s kind of a big deal. When did the most self-reliant spy decide she needs outside protection? And not from the WSB, but from Sonny of all people? Anna says, desperate times call for desperate measures, and Jordan says, meaning? Anna says, meaning someone is trying to dismantle her life and drive her insane.

Valentin says, before he gets into the issues with his daughter, he wants Martin to know he take full responsibility. Charlotte’s mother has been in a coma these last few years, and he’s allowed her to be raised by her stepfather and grandmother lately, and he thinks maybe she’s lost her way. Martin asks if Valentin is speaking to him as his lawyer or his friend, and Valentin says, both. Martin says, hit him with some facts, and Valentin says, a couple of nights ago, Charlotte claimed she was hanging with Jake Webber at Kelly’s, like a couple of typical teenagers. Martin says, and he learned otherwise? and Valentin says, Nina showed him some security footage from the MetroCourt Hotel that night. Martin says, and he saw Charlotte doing what exactly? and Valentin says he watched Charlotte letting herself in to Anna’s hotel suite. The same suite that was later found ransacked, Anna’s clothes covered in ink, a cryptic message written on the bathroom mirror. Martin says, and Valentin’s worried she’s fallen in with the wrong crowd, that she might have witnessed what happened in that hotel room? Valentin says he thinks she’s the perpetrator, and Martin says, okay. If that is the case, she’s definitely troubled about something and it appears to be some kind of growing pain, but even so, he doesn’t think there’s a court in the country that will think of that as anything but a cry for help. Even with the state of the room, the clothes, and the message on the mirror, it’s just the folly of misspent youth. Valentin says, Martin may be right, but he thinks she’d face a stiffer sentence if the court knew she set fire to Anna’s house.

Sasha looks out her door window and tries the door, but it’s locked. She says, dammit. She doesn’t know how much longer she can do this.

Gladys tells Sam that she wishes she could help Sasha. What’s happened to her is absolutely tragic. She lost her son and husband within months of each other. But why does everyone forget Gladys lost her grandson and then her son, her only child? Her heart breaks for Sasha, but it also breaks for herself. Sam says she’s sorry. She knows losing Liam and then Brando was horrible for both Gladys and Sasha. Gladys thanks her for at least acknowledging that, and Sam tells her, focus on helping Sasha. Gladys says, face it. Sasha’s situation only got worse after Cody Bell abducted her. She completely lost touch with reality. It was not her decision to send Sasha back to Ferncliff. The police and Sasha’s doctors made that choice. There’s nothing else she could do for Sasha. Sam asks what she’s talking about. Gladys totally took advantage of Sasha’s situation. How does she think her son would feel about that? How does Gladys think her son would feel, knowing she stole from Sasha? Not to mention, Gladys undermined Sasha’s sobriety and her sanity. Gladys says she doesn’t have to listen to Sam’s garbage. Get out. She opens the door, and Sonny is standing there. I laaaugh.

Laura says she carries around a lot of guilt about Nikolas and his childhood, and Doc says he’s aware. Let him remind her that she was a prisoner on Cassadine Island, and when she saw her chance to escape, she took it. She says, yes, but without her son, and he says, she saved herself. She says, yes, she saved herself and she abandoned her son at the same time. She left him. She left him to be raised by the Cassadines. So she’s every bit as much to blame for how he turned out as the Cassadines are. He says, Nikolas is an adult. He’s a man who has responsibilities. Sooner or later, he’s going to have to stop blaming his childhood for the mistakes that he’s made as a grown man. She says, thanks. That was a really nice try, but he knows better than anyone we’re a product of our childhood. Thank God Stephan was there, because Stavros and the rest of the Cassadines could never possibly be any kind of a role model for him. But they were there. They were manipulating him and forming his point of view about the world in which he lived. His tendency to get angry so quickly and make these rash, crazy decisions. She doesn’t think he was born like that. She thinks he was taught that. Doc says, he’s never even met his new son, and as much as they both know he loves Spencer, Nikolas has abandoned him. Again. What does that say about Nikolas? She says she thinks it says he believes his children would be better off without him, which she knows is not the case. Because despite all his flaws, deep down inside there is a very good man with a good heart, and she just has to believe those good qualities will triumph over this darkness that he’s going through right now, and he’ll make his way back to her and his kids. She just thinks he needs to be reminded that he has the ability to do that. Doc says, if anyone can get someone to listen to their inner angel, it’s her. So where does she want to look next? She says, London.

Martin says he understands how upset Valentin must have been seeing actual evidence that his teenage daughter broke into a hotel room. He gets Anna isn’t some random person. Valentin loves her, and if Charlotte has a problem with that, that’s trouble. But breaking and entering, even vandalism, is a hell of a long way from arson. Valentin says he has every faith in his daughter’s intelligence and capability. She was at camp that night, less than an hour from Port Charles. She could have taken a Ride Share. She’s familiar with Anna’s house. That fire was intentionally set while he and Anna were away. Martin says he refuses to believe Charlotte would intentionally hurt Anna, but Valentin says, not physically. She wanted to take away Anna’s home. Martin says, for what purpose? and Valentin says, she wanted Anna scared; she wanted Anna insecure. Martin says, wait a minute. If he remembers correctly, didn’t Anna says she thought a professional had done it? Valentin says, she assumed it was the WSB, and Martin says, Anna’s no fool. She’s been around the block a couple of times. She knows what she’s talking about. How on earth would a teenage girl know how to set a fire that looks like a professional did it? Valentin says, the internet. It’s a dark place. If you look for something hard enough, you’ll find it. (Preach!) He’s almost certain his daughter is responsible for Anna’s house fire, and he wants Martin’s help protecting her from herself.

Anna tells Jordan, even though the PCPD haven’t determined whether she or Sonny were the target for the shooting at the MetroCourt pool, she believes that the bullet that ricocheted and hit Curtis was meant for Sonny, not her. Jordan asks, what makes her so sure? and Anna says, the fire at her house, the writing on her mirror. Those things were aimed specifically at her. That’s where she was living; it was personal. Whereas the shooting at the pool was a public attack. Those are two totally different psychological profiles. Two distinct and conflicting motives if you look at it. Jordan says, okay, but the rifle that was recovered in Curtis’s shooting was previously in WSB custody. Anna has way more connections to the WSB than Sonny. Anna says, yes, and they were standing next to each other. So on the surface, that does make the issue murkier. Jordan tells her, let’s just say the shooter was after Sonny. Then who burned down Anna’s house and vandalized her suite at the MetroCourt? Anna says she doesn’t know, but whoever they are, they do seem to know what they’re doing.

The nurse goes back into Sasha’s room, and says, time for her morning meds, but Sasha says, no. Absolutely not. Those pills are what got her in trouble in the first place. The nurse asks if Sasha didn’t tell her that she wanted to work hard to get out of this place, and Sasha says, of course (🍷). That’s her goal. The nurse says, then Sasha agrees with her. If she really wants to get out, she’s going to have to play by the rules. Sasha says she tried that. It almost killed her.

Gladys says, it’s really not a good time, closing the door, but Sonny stops it with his hand and walks in. He says he’s sorry to hear that, because in his book, there’s always time for family. He didn’t expect to see Sam here. Sam says, congratulations on having the most impeccable timing ever. She hasn’t been able to get through to Gladys. Maybe he can do better. Sonny asks Gladys, what’s the problem?

On the phone, Doc says, excellent. Thank you. He tells Laura, all right, they’re set. Two tickets to London. She says, great, and thanks him. She takes his hands and thanks him for being by her side through this whole thing. At any point, he could have said, it’s time to quit. He has to go back to Port Charles and resume his life. But he didn’t, so she thanks him for putting his life on hold to see her through this. He says he’s arranged for his patients to see other therapists, and the hospital can always reach him in an emergency. He knows how important her children are to her. With Lucky living abroad, and Lulu… It’s no wonder Nikolas has taken center stage, and if he hasn’t said it already, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. She says she loves him with all her heart, and they kiss. He says he loves her. Now let him finish packing. He goes in the other room, and she calls Jordan. She says she thought she’d check in with her Deputy Mayor. Tell her. How are things going in Port Charles?

Sam asks if Gladys wants to tell Sonny what’s going on or should she? and Gladys says she’s happy to explain what’s going on. Sam here showed up at her door and then picked her lock and broke into her home. Can he believe that? He says, Sam didn’t knock? and Sam says, of course (🍷) she knocked, but Gladys didn’t answer so she had no choice but to pick the lock. Gladys says, some people understand if you don’t answer the door, you’re not in the mood for company, and Sam says, either that, or they don’t want their escape plan interrupted. Gladys asks if Sonny hears that. Not only does Sam pick her lock to break into her home, Sam’s throwing around wild accusations about her. And it’s all because she’s cuddled up to that thief Cody Bell. Sam says, the charges against Cody were dropped, but Gladys says, that doesn’t mean he’s not guilty. It just so happens Selina Wu allegedly found some… Sam says, really, Gladys? Selina Wu and Cody Bell? Is that really the road she wants to go down, because Sam doesn’t think that’s going to end well for her. Gladys says, the way she’s defending that two-bit thief Cody Bell, it makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Why? The obvious reason is that she’s stepping out on Sonny’s son Dante to have an affair with Cody. Gladys is just trying to protect his son because they’re family, and she knows that’s what Mike would want. He just has to ask himself, why is Sam so desperate to help Cody Bell? If she’s not sleeping with him, what possible reason could there be? Cody was a virtual stranger to Sam when he came to town, and now she’ll do anything to help him, even jeopardize poor Sasha’s sanity. Sonny says he and Sam have known each other for a long time, and asks Sam, is anything Gladys is saying the truth, and does Cody have anything to do with hurting Sasha?

Montague calls Janice at Ferncliff, and says he’s so sorry to trouble her with this, but he just pulled into his driveway at home and realized he left a file at Ferncliff. She says, no trouble at all. She’d be happy to check on the file for him. Does he remember where he thinks he left it? He says he thinks it’s in the doctor’s lounge. It’s one of his patient’s files from General Hospital, so it should be easily recognizable. Is it too much trouble to ask her to check for him? She says, no trouble at all. She’ll check and call him back whether she finds it or not. He thanks her and says, she’s the best. She leaves the desk, and Montague walks in.

Martin says he knows how much Valentin loves and adores his daughter. He witnessed first hand what Valentin is willing to sacrifice to be the father she needs. Is Valentin telling him that he believes his daughter is capable of burning Anna’s house to the ground? Who else has he told this little theory? Valentin says, Nina. She’s the only other one. They watched the footage and saw Charlotte break into Anna’s hotel room. Martin says, so what? There’s video evidence that Valentin’s daughter may have committed a crime. Valentin says, there was evidence. Nina removed it from the server; it doesn’t exist anymore. Martin says he’s going to ask Valentin a couple of questions, but he’s not judging him or Charlotte. He just wants to make sure he gives Valentin the best help possible. Valentin says he appreciates that, and Martin says, Valentin told him that Nina’s the only other person who knows this happened. He assumes Valentin hasn’t said anything to Anna yet. Valentin says he loves Anna, but Charlotte has to be his primary focus, and Martin says, good. Does he have any idea what this would do to his relationship? Valentin says he doesn’t know and he’s not ready to tell her, and Martin asks, where’s Charlotte now? Valentin says, in school. Other than that, he hasn’t let her out of his sight until the room was broken into. Martin says, as Valentin’s attorney, he’ll be of service any way he can, but he’s not sure what Valentin is asking him to do. Valentin says he needs Martin to be ready to defend his daughter in the event of an arson charge if it comes to that. Hopefully, this can be avoided, and it all goes away, and he can get her the psychological help she needs. He’s asking Martin to cover contingencies. Martin says, okay, picking up his briefcase. He’ll start brushing up on crimes committed as a juvenile. On a personal note, as Valentin’s friend, he can’t tell Valentin how sorry he is that he has to go through something like this with Charlotte. Valentin thanks Martin, and says he appreciates that. He was so obsessed with his sociopath of a father, he didn’t pay enough attention to Charlotte and what she was capable of. It’s a lonely place, but he wants to do what he has to do to help her. Martin leaves.

Laura says she’ll let Jordan know as soon as she’s back in Port Charles. She thanks Jordan again for stepping up and taking care of everything while she’s out of town. Doc comes back and says, yes, he went to the business center and printed out their boarding passes. Yes, it makes him a bit old school, and yes, a little old-fashioned, but he doesn’t care. She laughs and says she wouldn’t call it old-fashioned. She’d say, practical. He asks if she has any idea where she wants to start looking in London, and she says she does. He says he knows she’s disappointed they haven’t found Nikolas yet, but maybe they’ll have better luck there. She says she hopes so, when her phone rings. She asks if they have time for her to take this call; it’s Valentin. He looks at his watch and says, yeah. They’re ahead of schedule. See what he wants. She answers, and Valentin says, any sign of Nikolas? She says, yes and no. They’re in Geneva actually, and were just on their way to the airport. They’re going to fly to London next. Valentin asks if she thinks Nikolas is in London, and she says she’s not sure, but she did find proof Nikolas is alive. He says, that’s great. It’s got to give her hope, huh? She says, yes. There must be a reason he called. He tells her, she says she’s flying to London. Any chance she’s stopping in Port Charles? She asks, why? Did something happen? Did Spencer do something? He says, no. Alexis hasn’t said anything about Spencer, and she says, good. What’s the problem? He says, it’s Charlotte, and she says, what about her? He says he thinks her granddaughter is in serious trouble.

Anna tells Jordan that she’s trying to figure out who’s out to get her, and she can’t rule out the fact that the WSB is at the top of that list. Jordan asks if Valentin is helping her out, and Anna says, he’s determined to protect her, but… Jordan says, but what? She doesn’t believe him? Anna says she believes he would never harm her, but he has his own past and ties to the WSB and other affiliated organizations with less than stellar reputations. Jordan says, which means… and Anna says, honestly, she doesn’t know what secrets Valentin is keeping, and she thinks it’s past time she found out what those secrets are.

Gladys asks if Sonny doesn’t see the pattern. The guy is a wannabe gold-digger. He targeted a wealthy doctor and the Chief of Staff at GH. When that didn’t work out, he moved on to Sasha. While she was struggling with mental health issues, he saw his next target, a rich, troubled widow. Cody took advantage of her grief. Sam tells Sonny, none of this is true. Cody is on Sasha’s side. Gladys says, no. Don’t believe her; she’s his accomplice. She has been in with Cody from the very beginning, but what else could you expect? She’s a grifter too. Sam asks Sonny to please tell her that he’s not buying what Gladys is shoveling, and Gladys says, Sonny’s her family. Of course (🍷) he’s going to believe her. She tells Sonny, all she’s tried to do since Brando died is take care of his widow, but then Cody started whispering in her ear. And eventually it became too much, and she snapped. She went back on whatever drugs she was taking and wound up stabbing Cody with a knife. You’d think that would make him back off, but no. Somehow, he got himself admitted to Ferncliff and that’s when he kidnapped her. And he got arrested, and poor Sasha made her way back here to the apartment. It was heartbreaking. She was disoriented and not making any sense at all, and it broke Gladys’s heart to have to call the police. Sonny says, what happened to Sasha was worse than a tragedy. It was downright criminal.

Sasha sits on the bed and does some deep breathing. She says, okay. That’s a little better. This isn’t going to last forever. You’re going to survive this. Montague walks in, and she says, no. She sees the syringe in his hand.

Laura asks, what happened? and Valentin says he can’t get into it on the phone for legal reasons. Laura says, my God, what is he saying? and he tells her that he’s saying he needs her help. And so does Charlotte, desperately. She says, then he’s got it. She’ll take the first flight to Port Charles. She’ll get there as soon as she possibly can.

Valentin is about to call Nina, when Anna walks in. She says, so this is where he’s been hiding out?

Sonny looks at the suitcases, and says, it looks like Gladys is headed somewhere. She says, with everything going on with Sasha, her own nerves were shot, and she needed a break. She’s taking a little vacation. Sonny says, that’s a lot of luggage for a little vacation. Where is she going? She stammers and says, just some quiet spot. Take a beat and calm down. Sam says, that is not true; she’s clearly running away. Sonny asks what Gladys is running away from, and Sam says, she’s trying to get out of town before the truth about Sasha comes out. Gladys says, Sam is partially correct, but she’s always got to put a negative spin on things. She tells Sonny that she’s leaving town, but it’s only because she can’t bear to stay here and see the disaster Sasha’s life has turned into. Sonny says, she’s Sasha’s legal guardian; she’s obligated to stick around. Gladys says, not while she’s in Ferncliff. She can’t do anything for Sasha while she’s in there. That’s why she thought this was the perfect time for her to go somewhere and get her own head on straight. Sonny says, that sounds perfectly reasonable to him, and Sam says, tell her that he’s not buying this BS. He wonders if he can ask Gladys one question. How is she going to pay for this trip? Because he already knows she stole Sasha’s money to pay back her gambling debt to Selina Wu. Gladys begins to stammer, that’s not what… Sonny says, shut up. He’s done with her lies. And he’s going to make sure she doesn’t lie again.

Sasha tells Montague, stay away from her, but he says, she’s confused. He can see the agitation in her face. This medication will help her calm down. He holds up the syringe, and she screams for somebody to help her. Dr. Montague is trying to inject her with something. He says, no one can hear her. And no one is coming to save her. Sasha leaps over the bed and throws a pillow at Montague. Heading for the door, she throws a chair, but misses him by a mile. She pulls at the doorknob, screaming, and he grabs her, throwing her on the bed. As he’s about to inject her, the door opens.

Tomorrow, Anna asks why Valentin would keep this secret; Gregory asks if Alexis wants to help him knock another one off the list; Sonny says he knows exactly what Gladys did and now she’s going to pay for it; and Montague says, he’s getting out of here, and taking Sasha with him.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Italian Riviera. Captain Sandy finds out she can’t get new crew members for weeks, and she says, unbelievable. It’s f***ing crazy. This has never happened to her, but she guesses she’ll figure something out. Natalya takes breakfast orders, and Lara deals with the tender. In Lara’s interview, she says, Luka is beautiful and has the greatest qualities. He’s God’s gift. The water is too rough for the jet skis, and guest Cameron says he feels sad and wants to leave the boat. Breakfast is served, and Primary Kian says, the chef is apparently mortal. He’s talented, but can’t cook eggs for crap. Maybe he needs a picture guide. The captain tells Luka, this will pass, but maybe the guests should go ashore. Natalya tells Jack about the egg complaints, and in Jack’s interview, he says he hates eggs; they’re overrated. Now he’s got to redeem himself. Natalya tells him, Americans invent new egg styles every day. I dunno about that, but personally, I think eggs are God’s perfect food. Kian talks to Captain Sandy about being bummed and that some of the guests are throwing up from the boat rocking. She suggests the guests go to shore, and in her interview, the captain says, these are friends, and she feels bad. They’re down team members, but they have to find a way to make the charter good or she may have to find a new doctor. In Natalya’s interview, she says she and her boyfriend have been together four months and they’re in an open relationship. She’s always been with guys who cheated, so she’s glad to be honest from start, but she loved him before this style of relationship was mentioned. She’s half okay with it. Looking is fine; touching is a no go. Captain Sandy tells Luka to take the guests to shore, and as they’re about to get in the tender, guest Nathan asks Luka if they have in case one of them vomits. Luka says, do it overboard, and in his interview, he says, it’s not an airplane. They don’t get a bag. You have to chuck in the sea. As they get in the tender, Captain Sandy says, they’ll feel better on shore. Immediately one of them (probably Cameron) throws up over the side of the boat. In Luka’s interview, he says, the tender moves more than the yacht. It’s going to be ten minutes of torture before getting to shore.

Portofino. In his interview, Luka says, Portofino is a rare place. If the guests are lucky, they’ll see dolphins. He hopes they don’t puke on them. In Natalya’s interview, she says, it’s going to be difficult to step down when the new person comes in. Even though she’s been sh*tting herself on this charter, it’s a great opportunity to show the captain that she’s an amazing chief strew. She reminds Jack that the guests want a Michelin Star meal, and says, afterward, they’ll be doing an EDM party on the sundeck. The guests stroll through town, do some shopping, and go sightseeing. They go to an old-world church that’s just gorgeous. Norma texts Captain Sandy that she still doesn’t have a bosun, but has an experienced deckhand. In Jessika’s interview, she says she thinks Natalya is stressed about the new chief stew coming, but maybe it’s a good idea. She’s hoping they have a better way to delegate, so all the work is equally divided. The guests come back, and the wind has died down, so the water toys are put out. There’s a new davit (a crane used on ships) for the slide, so they’re able to put it out much more easily. Most of the guests get on the inflatable banana, while Luka drives the tender, pulling them. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, the day turned out spectacularly. She’s impressed at how quickly they got the slide out, and the clients are having fun. Jack goes over dinner with Natalya, and in Jack’s interview, he says he worked in a Michelin Star restaurant, but he wasn’t ready. It’s an emotional position. Dinner is going to have Italian and Asian influence. It’s like a biography on a plate. A line is caught in the propeller under the tender, and Lara radios Haleigh to keep watch while she swims underneath it. She needs someone to know she’s there. She finds out that it’s wrapped around the propellor, and in Lara’s interview, she says, if a line gets caught in the propellor, you can’t maneuver the boat. It’s very dangerous.

Lara gets the line off, and in her interview, she says, f*** yes. She handled it like a boss. The guests go down the slide, and take photos. Natalya gets the party stuff out, and the slide is brought back up, which doesn’t look quite as easy as putting it out. Natalya tells Kian, there’s going to be a fiesta, and tells the stews, they’ll all wear wigs and stuff. Lara says she loves Luka; he’s never screaming at anyone. Real chief stew Tumi texts Captain Sandy and says, she and Kyle got their visas, and are on the way. In Jack’s interview, he says, the side effect of being a wizard. You know so much good stuff, you forget some of it. But he trusts Natalya to help. Luka tells Captain Sandy that the guests are loving it, and she tells him that Ruan isn’t coming back, and she can’t get a bosun. She asks if he’d like to be the full time bosun, and he says he’d love to. She says, by the next charter, he’ll have a new deckhand, and in Luka’s interview, he says, he thought Ruan would take his position back. He hasn’t even docked yet. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says she’s confident in Luka. Captain Jason highly recommended him, and he’s smart, quick, and knows his stuff. He does everything without resistance, and it was all those little moments that made her say, he’s a leader. Luka tells Haleigh about becoming bosun, and she calls him, Daddy Bosun. He likes it. I hope they give him the stripes to go with it. The guests are happy with dinner, and guest Tito says, if he could stand, he’d give the food a standing ovation. Natalya asks Haleigh to help with the party, and Haleigh says she doesn’t know how decorate well. The captain hears, and says, teamwork makes the dream work. I’d pay money never to hear that saying again. In Haleigh’s interview, she says, she’s never decorated for a party. She went to a rave once, and knows it’s beads, neon lights, and Ecstasy. She’s had one of the three. The food keeps coming, and food porn! Food porn! Brooke does housekeeping, while Haleigh wanders around with decorations. She tells Natalya that she’s trying. Natalya wonders where Brooke is, and Brooke finally shows up, ten minutes late for decorating. Oh, the horror. In Natalya’s interview, she says she’s used to working late nights. She runs on coffee. Her blood is coffee. This bitch going to have to pull it off.

Natalya asks Jessika to lead service, and in Jessika’s interview, she says, Natalya is chief stew; she should lead. She’s a raver, and it’s too much pressure to lead. Don’t do that to her. Natalya tells Jessika that the sundeck’s not set up, and she needs to lead service. Jessika radios the crew that she needs help. She needs hands for clearing. Natalya says, it can’t be an extravaganza if there’s nothing. Tito is served the wrong wine, and in her interview, Jessika says, please, Natalya, come back. Luka says she’s got this, and Kian says he doesn’t know how the chef is doing it all by himself. Natalya says, this is crackhead energy, and puts on a blue wig. She tells the crew, it’s crazy, but they’re doing it. Shots on her tomorrow. Literally on her. Luka says, tomorrow is going to be great. One of the guests says, the chef put heart and soul in this food, and in Jessika’s interview, she says, this sh*t is scary, but if they’re happy, she’s happy. Kian says, it’s time to party, and they go up to the sundeck, bathed in a black light, and decorated with glowing everything. Shots are poured, and Natalya says, there are little ships and big ships, but there’s no ship like friendship. Zzzz… In her interview, she says she’s solid being the chief stew. When the new one gets here, fingers crossed they have a dream team. We flash back to her and Kyle bickering last season, and she says she’s just taking it day by day. The guests dance, drink, and finally crash at 2:58 am. Cameron has fallen sleep in one of the lounges, and Natalya covers him with a blanket. She talks to her boyfriend, and says, if the chief stew is a f***ing nightmare, she’s off. She asks if he’s had sex with anyone, and he says, she’s got to stop asking that question.

Final day of charter. Natalya keeps telling herself to wake up. She tells Jack that they nailed it, and in Jack’s interview, he says, over easy, over medium; potato, potahto. He’s making quiche. A monkey with no eyes can make quiche. I’d love to see that. Breakfast is served, and Tito asks if they have more French donuts – what you call croissants. They try to haul anchor, but Lara says, a brick is attached to the anchor. More specifically, it’s a cinder block. She says, WTF? Captain Sandy wonders if there’s a body attached to it.

Luka says he’ll have to jump down and cut it off. He gets a knife from Jack, and in Jack’s interview, he says, butter knife, steak knife… there it is. A brick knife. Luka is successful, and in the captain’s interview, she says, so far, the deck team is a pleasant surprise. Her ETA to the pilot station is one hour, and the guests all thank Kian. One of them asks, when’s the next one? In Lara’s interview, she says, if they still had Ruan, it would have been a different deck crew. Luka makes her wish she was straight. They dock, and in Luka’s interview, he says, it’s the first time he’s docked, and he wants to make sure Captain Sandy knows he’s calm, and not the dude going, we hit the f***ing dock. The docking is a success, and he says he’s sure he’ll have grey hairs by the end of the season. He tells the captain that the girls are smashing it, and she radios the crew to meet on the dock. As the guests leave, there are lots of hugs, and they want to take Jack with him. Kian says, the crew was incredible, and Captain Sandy is the coolest captain ever. He wants to recognize Jack’s skills as a chef, and thanks Natalya for treating them special. The envelope doesn’t look fat, but the jury’s out. The crew gets in their reds and the captain radios them to come for the tip meeting. The captain says, the first charter wasn’t what she expected. Unfortunately, Ruan didn’t have the correct paperwork. She’s been paying attention, and there have been crews she’s had to correct, but this time she didn’t have to. Luka is now their bosun, and she’s happy there are women on deck. They dug in and worked as a team. She tells Jack that he set bar, and now he can’t go below it; and thanks Natalya for stepping up, and now stepping back. In her interview, Natalya says, they were being thrown into it, and they were successful. They smashed out of the ball cart [sic]. The tip is a surprising $20K (I guess it was big bills), or $1818 each. They clink glasses, and the boat is turned over.

Natalya asks Luka for some shampoo while only wearing a towel, and in his interview, he says, she’s in interior; she knows where the shampoo is. The one thing that gets him in trouble on yachts is the ladies. We flash back to Down Under, and he says, Natalya is definitely potential trouble. Lara tells Haleigh that South Africa isn’t very open, but her family is fine with her sexuality now. In her interview, she says, it was when she was in covid quarantine that she realized she likes women and does not like men. When she came out, she felt comfortable, like she had wings. When she goes home, she feels the need to hide herself a bit. Her parents love her, but it’s like stepping on eggshells now. The crew goes ashore and takes a taxi van to a restaurant. Lara tells Natalya that she loves a girly girl, and Natalya says she’s not sitting in the backseat on the way home. As they walk to the restaurant, Lara literally picks up Natalya and carries her. When the drinks come, Natalya says, they couldn’t get a better first charter. After dinner, they move on to another bar. Luka asks Natalya if she has any tattoos, and she says, a secret one. She tells him that she’s in an open relationship, but she doesn’t know what that means. In her interview, she says she has lust for Luka, but she loves her boyfriend.

They dance and drink and fall down. Haleigh flashes whoever’s in the vicinity, and in Natalya’s interview, she says, Haleigh is a surprising person. She seems so shy, then she flashes everyone. Interesting. They go back to the boat and surprisingly, go to bed. And everyone’s in their own bed. Natalya texts her boyfriend, who asks if there were any hot guys. She says, actually, yes, and tells him, goodnight. In the morning, she says she feels like a walking bottle of alcohol. She tells the stews that they’d best make the boat perfect before the chief stew comes. Captain Sandy calls Tumi and says she can’t wait to meet in person. Luka is excited about having two extra hands. Brooke says goodbye to the captain, who says, she’s amazing. She wishes Brooke could stay, but she needs a stew with more experience. She has nothing but praise for Brooke. In Brooke’s interview, she says thinks yachting is the career path for her. Stews do hard-ass work. She gives them credit. Tumi arrives, and in Natalya’s interview, she says, it was a successful first charter as chief stew. And the way she’s set up the yacht is close to perfect.

In Tumi’s interview, she says she’s been ready since last season, and we flash back to Down Under again. She says she’s always wanted to work on the Mediterranean. Captain Sandy says, they’ve missed her, and Tumi says, Kyle is coming later. The captain says she’s heard great things about Tumi. She trusts Captain Jason. In her interview, Captain Sandy says she’s committed to Tumi. Being hung up in immigration wasn’t her fault. She was highly recommended by Jason. He said she was ready to be chief stew. She’s focused, determined, works hard, and she cares. She tells Tumi that Natalya bailed them out. She’s a team player, and the captain thinks Tumi will like the team. She shows Tumi her cabin, and Tumi meets the crew. In her interview, Tumi says, she’s worried about walking onto a new boat; there’s always self-doubt. She guesses it’s that way when you’re when passionate about something and don’t want to f*** it up. She’s been in the industry a long time and it scares her. She wants the crew’s respect and believes it’s important to set boundaries in the beginning. She met Kyle, who said he had his ups downs with Natalya. Tumi doesn’t want to be disrespected, but she doesn’t want to demand respect. That’s where her struggle comes in. Jack says, they need more testosterone to balance things out. Natalya shows Tumi around and points out where she likes to keep the sunblock stuff. Tumi says, that’s not where she’d prefer it. Natalya says they were two crew members down during the first charter, but they smashed it. The chef is amazing and chill. She asks what Tumi thinks of the boat, and Tumi says, it’s interesting. It reminds her of Harry Potter; the organization is a sh*tshow. Natalya asks if she means the boat itself or how she’s organized things, and Tumi says, the boat itself; the way it’s set up. She tells Natalya, don’t get defensive. Natalya’s part is impeccable, but it’s not the way she would want to come on a boat. Natalya continues to take it as an insult, and Tumi says, it’s just her opinion. The way it’s set up isn’t the way she would set it up. Natalya says, she thinks it’s great, and Tumi says she’s just giving her opinion. That’s it. Natalya says, don’t do this with her. Don’t put the hands up at me please.  

To be continued…

📻 Walking On Your Wavelength…

Stop in tomorrow for soap and some internet brew. Until then, stay safe, stay always pushing in your chair when you leave the table, and stay not blaming your childhood for the mistakes you make as an adult.

And so it begins…