What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Sonny sees Dante slowly walking in the corridor at the hospital, along with a nurse, and says, it’s good to see him up and walking. He wasn’t there when Dante took his first steps, but he’s getting a taste of that right now. This time if Dante falls, he’ll be there to catch him.
Elizabeth calls upstairs for Jake to hurry up. She’d really like to take a shower after her shift. There’s a knock at the door, and Elizabeth asks Aiden to get that. She’s not dressed. She heads upstairs and Aiden answers the door to Jason. Aiden says, hi, and Jason says, Aiden, right? Aiden says, yeah. He’s Jason. Jason says, it’s been a while, and Aiden says, sorry. Does he want to come in? Jason comes inside, and Elizabeth comes back down. He says he hopes it’s okay that he stopped by, and she says, of course (🍷). He says he saw her at his arraignment and wanted to say thanks for being there, and she says she just wanted to see for herself what’s going on. Congratulations on having the charges dropped. He thanks her and says he’s sorry. He should have dropped by sooner. She says, that’s okay. To be honest, she doesn’t know what kind of reception he’d have received if he stopped by earlier. So maybe now the timing is just right.
In Alexis’s office, Adrian says, Nina made him associate publisher, and he has every right to weigh in on where his pieces are run, but Alexis says, he doesn’t have any right to decide the layout of the paper because that’s her job. He suggests they call Nina and see what she says, and he picks up the phone. Alexis asks if he’s five years old. This is not kindergarten. Is he going to call the principal? No, they’re not doing that. She puts the phone back, and Diane says, knock-knock. Bad time?
Blaze looks at the contract, and Maxie asks how it looks. Blaze says, looking at it makes it seem real, and Lucy says, of course (🍷) it’s real. They’re so excited that they’ve decided to have her as the new Face of Deception. Blaze thanks her. She’s glad they circled back and that it’s working out this time. Lucy says, of course (🍷) it’s working out. Blaze is the perfect pairing with Deception, like peanut butter and chocolate, or wine and cheese, or a facial and a massage. Brook says, Lucy is right. It’s going to be a perfect partnership. She says that not only on behalf of Deception, but also as Blaze’s music manager. This is a really smart step for her career. Maxie says, her popularity as an artist will bring eyes to Deception, and Deception’s leverage will boost her profile and expose her to a whole new audience. It’s a win-win. Lucy says, they just need her signature, when Natalia walks in. She says she’s so sorry she’s late. Traffic was crazy. Has Blaze signed that yet? Blaze says, not yet, and Natalia says, great, taking the contract from Blaze. Because it’s so much harder to tear these things up and start from scratch. (Um… Isn’t Brook her manager?)
Elizabeth tells Jason, excuse the mess. She just got off a double shift. She’s head nurse now. He says he heard Epiphany died. It’s just so much to process. First Bobbie, then Britt, now Epiphany. So much can happen in two years. But he’s happy she made head nurse. She deserves it. He knows Epiphany would be proud of her. She thanks him and says, big shoes to fill, but so far, she’s loving it. He says, she looks good, happy, and she thanks him. She says, he looks different, and he says, that’s because he is.
Alexis says she’s so glad she and Diane could meet. She was just showing Adrian out. She steers Adrian to the door, and he says, point of fact, they have not yet finished. She says, call Nina. She’s probably really busy, so email Nina and make sure he cc’s her. He says, make space for the review on the front page, as Alexis closes the door. She tells Diane, perfect timing, and Diane laughs and says, it looks like her day is going well. Alexis says, Nina has foisted this gossip columnist on her and made him associate publisher. Now he thinks he runs the place. Diane says she’s sure that’s fun for Alexis, but Alexis says, no. She’s determined to turn The Invader into some fluffy, gossipy, rag magazine, and making her life a living hell. Diane says, so obviously, she could use some good news, and Alexis asks if Diane has some to share. Diane says she’s done some digging, and with the information she’s found out, they’re half a step closer to getting Alexis back to practicing law.
Natalia says she understands this isn’t the first time they’ve approached Allison about being the Face of Deception. The woman who had the position until just recently, why did they separate? Lucy says, that’s Sasha Gilmore. Sasha was wonderful and amazing, and they love her. And they’re so grateful to her for all she contributed. It’s just that, you know pop culture is always evolving and changing, and her look was just a little too wholesome, and the magazines right now want hipper, edgier, the Gen Z that has that style. Brook says, Blaze, as a musician, obviously has that in spades, and Natalia says, that’s unacceptable. Maxie asks, which part? and Natalia says she’s not going to have the word edgy associated with Blaze because it has less than savory connotations. (Come into this century…) Now, creative, gifted, those are acceptable. Maxie asks what Blaze thinks, and Blaze says, her mom makes a good point. She defines herself as a creative. Whether people find her look, her presentation as edgy, so be it. That’s not something she’s striving for. Lucy says, they just want Blaze to be her own, lovely, wonderful self, and Blaze thanks her. Natalia says she’s having a little problem here with clause #3. It says something about Blaze being a spokesmodel for Deception products. What exactly does that mean?
Sonny tells Dante, anything he needs, he just has to say it, and Dante says he wants his strength back. He feels like he just ran a marathon or something. Sonny says, it’s going to take time because he’s been through a lot, but he’s getting his color back to his face. So when he was unconscious… Dante says, hey, he’s going to be okay. He was shocked when he heard Jason was arrested for shooting him. He’s glad he got that all squared up with Anna. Sonny asks if he’s positive that’s what happened, and Dante says, yeah. He went after the two suspects, caught up with them at the pier. He told them to stop. One of them did, the other one didn’t. The guy that did, he told him to turn around and put his hands in the air, and when he did, it was Jason. The other guy came back, and he opened fire.
Aiden says he saw on the news that Jason had been shot, but Jason says he’s okay and thanks Aiden. Jake comes downstairs and says the bathroom is all Elizabeth’s. If she still wants to get him that electric razor for his birthday… He sees Jason, who says, hi, and Jake asks, why is he here?
Diane says, something about the disciplinary hearing that resulted in Alexis’s disbarment has never sat right with her, so she did some digging. One of the original attorneys on the panel had to recuse himself. Alexis says, on what grounds? and Diane says, you tell me. The attorney in question, Fergus Byrne. Alexis says, Byrne… Byrne! and Diane says, as in the brother of Dr. Neil Byrne, with whom Alexis had a relationship, then lied to the board to protect. Alexis says, and also the reason she was disbarred. She had no idea there was a third brother, and yet he was the lawyer who recused himself in her case? Diane says, the Byrnes were quite the overachieving Irish American family – a doctor, a lawyer, and executive turned blackmailer. Alexis says, this is really intriguing, although, how does it help her? and Diane says, when Fergus Byrne recused himself, he was replaced with his very own law partner. That alone gives the whole proceeding an air of illegitimacy. Doesn’t she think?
In her office, Anna says she wanted to talk to Detective Bennet about a possible candidate for the police academy, and he says, they’re always looking for new recruits, especially one who comes recommended by the Police Commissioner. She says, his name is Dex Heller, and she wanted to talk to Bennet because he’s an instructor at the academy and she wanted him to access Dex’s potential. He says, sure. He’d be happy to meet with him. How did he do on the written exam? Anna says, he didn’t sit that yet. She wanted them to get the ball rolling first. He asks, why is that? and she says, he’s ex-military. He served in Afghanistan and so she’s sure he’ll pass the physical and the JST and the drug screening. She just wanted him to have extra time to study for the written exam. He says, that’s definitely not the usual process, but he trusts her judgement, and she thanks him. She says she has a good feeling about Dex. She thinks his experience with his former employer is going to be very useful for them. He asks what Dex was doing, and she says, working for Sonny Corinthos.
Dante tells Sonny that he’d never seen the other guy who shot him before. Not that it matters. They can’t find his body anymore and none of the forensic evidence was helpful. Sonny says he guesses Jason knows what happened to him, since they were working together, and Dante says, they were working together on the roof, yeah. Sonny says, lining up a shot at him, and Dante says he doesn’t know what Jason was doing, but he remembers Jason was trying to get him help and trying to stop the bleeding. Sonny says he guesses he knows where their tax dollars are going, and Dante asks what he’s talking about. Sonny says he saw Jason last night. He’s working as an informant for the FBI.
Jake says, Jason has been on the news a lot. Everyone’s talking about him, but Jake hasn’t heard anyone say where he’s been this whole time. Jason tells him that all he can say is, he got into some trouble and had to take a job he didn’t want in a place far away from here. Jake says, and they didn’t have phones in this faraway place or computers. Or did Jason just not feel like telling them he was alive? Elizabeth says, Jake… but Jason says, it’s okay. He’d be asking the same question. He knows this doesn’t make much sense to Jake, but if he could have gotten in touch, he would have. He knows it’s a lot to ask, but please believe him. Jake says, would you believe you?
Lucy says, Blaze would represent Deception at all their in-store product launches and of course (🍷) on the Home & Heart Shopping Channel. She would be showing off their merchandise and look at that face. This face would sell millions of units of beauty and wellness products. Brook says, and it will get a ton of eyes on Blaze. They can’t buy that kind of publicity. Natalia says, absolutely not. Blaze will do photoshoots, but she won’t be personally hawking products on some home shopping show or live events. No. Maxie says she’s sure they can come up with a compromise that works for everyone, but Natalia says, no compromise. Blaze won’t be signing the contract unless they agree that the Face of Deception is completely separate from this traveling salesperson of Deception.
Bennet tells Anna, in the old days, organized crime would quietly infiltrate the force or hand out bribes and put some cops in their back pocket. Now she’s telling him the department is actively recruiting mobsters. She says, Dex had a somewhat contentious parting with his former employer. She believes he’s left that life firmly behind and he will be 100% loyal to them here. He says, she knows hiring this guy is going to cause conflict with Corinthos, and she says she thinks it’s natural to have conflict between law enforcement and racketeers. He says he always thought she had a soft spot for Corinthos and tried to go easy on him, and she apologizes if she gave that impression. They go back… and Detective Falconari is his son, which she knows has raised a few eyebrows around here. But he’s never cut his father any slack, nor will anyone else in this department, including her. Sonny Corinthos will be held to the same standards they hold everyone else. He wonders if he can ask what prompted this change of heart, and Anna tells him, let’s say it was a series of events that occurred recently that shed light on the fact they have to check organized crime in this city, specifically limit Sonny’s influence. To that end, Dex will be invaluable to them. He will be able to give them insight into how Sonny’s operation is run. She thinks if they pass up this opportunity, they will never get one like this again.
Dante says, Jason’s been working for the Feds this whole time, and Sonny says, supposedly. Dante asks, why? Did he explain it? Sonny says, not really. He just said he’s working as an informant for the FBI and wanted him to swallow it, but how can he swallow something that’s the worst thing Jason could have done? Dante says, nice to know how Sonny feels about it, and Sonny says, the Feds? Jason is dead to him. Dante says, come on. Why doesn’t he get the full story first before he writes Jason off? Sonny says he doesn’t want to talk about it. Go ahead. Say it. Whatever it is Dante’s got to say, say it. Dante says, Jason was Sonny’s righthand man for years. Sonny relied on him. Sonny says, when he came back from Nixon Falls, he’d had amnesia. He comes back and his wife is marrying his best friend. He had feelings for another woman, and things were never the same after that. Jason’s not the Jason he knew. Dante says he’s sorry, and Sonny says he doesn’t want to waste their valuable time talking about this right now. Once Dante gets better, he wants Dante to even make fun of him if he wants. Dante laughs, and Sonny says, he won’t even care. He’ll even let Dante. How’s that? Dante says he’s going to hold Sonny to that, and Sonny says, he’d better.
Alexis says, this is all very intriguing, but she doesn’t want to get her hopes up, and Diane says she believes the implication of bias is further grounds to appeal her disbarment. Alexis says she should have paid more attention to Neil’s family tree. She knew there was a lawyer out there somewhere, vaguely, but if Neil’s brother Fergus was at his memorial, she never met him. Diane says, maybe there’s a very good reason Fergus didn’t introduce himself to Alexis. If he was even partially responsible for her disbarment, he’d want to stay as far away from her as humanly possible before she started putting the pieces all together. Alexis says, true, and Diane says, but Fergus is no longer on the disciplinary committee. She checked. So he won’t be a factor in her appeal this time. Alexis says, all joking aside, she’s truly impressed with the progress Diane has made on this so quickly. She’s just not sure she should proceed with this. Diane says, why the hell not? and Alexis says, because her job at The Invader is annoying and frustrating, but an argument in its favor is she gets to sleep at night. She won’t be up at 3 in the morning making revisions on a closing argument or having nightmares she makes a procedural error and gets her client wrongly convicted. Diane tells her, there’s a lot to be said for a restful night’s sleep, but the Alexis she knows never took the easy way out for anything. She loves a challenge and loves being a lawyer, so what is this really all about? Alexis says, Molly’s worried. She said the last time Alexis practiced law, she also happened to be a raging alcoholic and turned her life into a car wreck. And she’s worried if the appeal is dismissed, Alexis will dive right back into the bottle. Diane asks what she said to that, and Alexis says, Molly’s got enough on her plate right now, so she doesn’t want to worry her. She told Molly that she goes to meetings regularly and she’s working the program. And that is all true. But what if by trying to get her law license back, it derails her sobriety and everything else she’s worked so hard to salvage from the ruins of her old life?
Natalia crosses out some things in the contract and says, okay. She’s crossed out everything about the live participation and pitching products, and the rest of it looks good to her. Lucy says, what if they want the live participation to remain in force? and Natalia says, then they’ll have to find another Face of Deception. Lucy tells Blaze that she knows her mom wants the best for her and her career, of course (🍷), but she does realize being the Face of Deception is a very prestigious role. It’s big, big, big. Is she really willing to just pass that up? Blaze says, she doesn’t want to, but – she looks at Natalia – her mom makes a valid point. She’s a singer, a performer, not a spokesmodel. Lucy says she sees, and Blaze says, but she doesn’t think that means they have to forget about the whole thing. Would they be open to hiring a second Face?
Elizabeth tells Jake that she knows this isn’t easy. First, he had to mourn his dad and accept that he’s gone, and all of a sudden, his dad is back with no real explanation of where he went for so long… But this isn’t good for Jake to be so angry with him. Jake says he doesn’t think it’s good for Elizabeth to be so okay with this and act all nice to him like he didn’t do anything wrong and everything’s fine. She says, that’s not what she’s doing. She knows Jake is hurting, but that doesn’t make it okay for him to lash out at everyone around him. So can he turn down the snark just a little? Jake nods and asks if she knows. She says, know what? and he says, that his dad was alive. Jason didn’t call her or get in touch with her or send her something? Did she know and then keep it a secret from him? She says, no. God no. She didn’t know he was alive, she promises. Jake says, it’s just hard. He feels guilty because… Never mind. He starts to get up, and she says, no. Just tell her. All of his feelings matter, and he gets to feel however he wants about this, and he can talk to her. No judgement here. She promises him that. He says he feels guilty because he was so sad when dad died. He used to lay in bed at night, wishing he could talk to him, wishing he had more time. But now he thinks it was easier having a dead father that people would tell you stories about, rather than one who’s alive, but only shows up to commit crimes and get arrested and has nothing to say to his own family.
There’s a knock at Anna’s office door and she says, come in. Sonny walks in and asks how she is. She asks what she can do for him. She’s very busy. She doesn’t have a lot of time. He says, okay. He’ll get to it. He just got back from seeing Dante. She asks how Dante is doing, and Sonny says, he’s doing fine. He got up and he was walking. Full recovery is going to take a while, but he hates seeing Dante that way. She says, of course (🍷), but then the alternative is much worse, and he tells her that Dante also said he’s positive it wasn’t Jason who shot him. She says she’s aware. She has a lot of work to do so… He says, even if Jason isn’t guilty of shooting Dante, he’s still guilty of being on the roof with that sniper who shot at him. She says, fortunately, he wasn’t hit, and he says, that was lucky, but she knows Jason was there. Does she have any idea what she’s going to charge him with?
Jason goes into Dante’s room and says, sorry. He didn’t mean to startle him. Dante says he just didn’t know he would see Jason here. He wants to thank him. Jason says, for what? and Dante says, for the bandage, calling 911… He thinks he probably would have bled out by the time the ambulance got there. Jason says, if it hadn’t been for him, Dante probably wouldn’t have been on the pier in the first place, and Dante says, that’s a good point. He takes it back. He laughs and Jason almost smiles. Dante says, one thing he can’t figure out. Why did Jason turn around? If he didn’t want to be identified, why didn’t he keep running? Jason says, because he knew Dante wouldn’t stop chasing them. He thought it would be safer if he let Dante arrest him, but it turns out he was wrong. Dante says, let him ask Jason this, as a cop and a victim, can Jason tell him what happened to the guy who shot him? Jason says, no. The name he had for him was fake, but what’s real is, he’s dead. Dante asks, what happened to his body? but Jason says he has no idea. He has some theories, but it doesn’t really matter. Dante says, maybe Jason can tell him this then. Was he also an FBI informant?
Diane says, my friend, none of us knows the future. If Alexis’s appeal is denied, could the disappointment she feels cause her to start drinking again? She doesn’t know. She guesses anything’s possible. But she knows Alexis and knows how strong she is. She’s accomplished everything she’s set her mind to, so there’s no reason to think this would cause her to start drinking again. This place is a nightmare, but she’s not tossing them back, is she? Alexis says, no, and Diane says, so there you go. Alexis thanks her, and Diane says, let’s get to her other big news. Her petition to petition the court was granted. So now the justices just need to agree there are grounds for an appeal, even though technically speaking, that window was closed a long time ago. Alexis says, they both know motions to vacate disbarment are rarely granted, and Diane groans and says she doesn’t have the time right now to manage Alexis’s fear of success. So would she please stop being the voice of doom? She’s ready to run with this, but only if Alexis is committed to seeing it through. And of course (🍷) paying her back for all the hours she’s put in by joining her practice once they see this through.
Adrian barges in Alexis’s office and says, he and Nina have an idea he’d like to run by her, but Alexis says she’s busy. Can’t it wait? He says, it will just take a minute. Everyone has been loving his column so much, that he and Nina thought they could split it off into daily pieces. They’ll call it something like Spotlight of Society, highlighting what all the movers and shakers of Port Charles are up to. Who are the hot new couples, who’s getting divorced, who lost all their money? It could be a big hit. What does she think? Diane applauds, and Alexis says she thinks if Adrian doesn’t leave her office right now, he’ll be putting out the evening’s additional by himself. He walks up to her desk and says he knows that’s meant to be a threat, but… Alexis stands up and says, get out! Adrian backs up to the door, backs out, and closes it. Alexis tells Diane, do it. Please. Get her the hell out of here. Diane laughs.
The lawyer hands Lucy the contract and tells her to consider it official. Maxie says she’ll walk him out, and they leave. Lucy thanks Blaze and says she’s so glad they could work this out. They’re going to do amazing, great things together. Blaze says, her too. She’s the new Face of Deception. Natalia says, and what a gorgeous face it is, and they hug. Brook says, congratulations, and Maxie comes back. She says she has so many shoot ideas she can’t wait to talk to Blaze about. Lucy says, see? Everybody is so, so excited to get started working with Blaze, and Natalia says, just one more thing. This doesn’t have to be in writing or anything, but she really would like their word that moving forward, Allison will be a woman of mystery. Maxie asks what that means, and Natalia says, just that her private life will remain off-limits. So she won’t be doing interviews. They won’t publish puff pieces about her. Allison, or Blaze as they’ll be calling her, will just be known to the public by her beauty and her music. Maxie says, okay… Is that what Blaze wants? Blaze says, absolutely, but Maxie looks like she doesn’t quite buy it.
Elizabeth says, Jake’s father is a man of few words, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He wouldn’t have shown up here if he didn’t want to see Jake. Jake says, maybe he just felt like he had to, but she says, no. She doesn’t know where he’s been for the past few years or why, but she saw the way he looked at Jake just now. He wouldn’t have stayed away on his own. Jake asks why he’s like this, and she says, he’s complicated, but he never makes things up and he doesn’t lie. He may not say a whole lot, but every word that comes out of his mouth is the truth. Jake says, she always defends him, but she says she’s explaining him. It’s different. Jake says, it doesn’t matter anyway. Jason knows he’s mad at him. He doubts he’ll ever show up here again. She says she wouldn’t count on that. He’s not going to make some big declaration that he’s Jake’s dad and he loves him. Instead, he’s going to keep showing up until Jake realizes it’s the only explanation.
Jason says he guesses Dante’s been talking to Sonny, and Dante says, he left a while ago. Jason working for the Feds really messed him up. Jason says he’s an informant, not an agent, and Dante says, Sonny thinks he’s a traitor. There’s something else going on here. How many deals did Jason get offered over the years and he didn’t take them? How many times could he have flipped on Sonny, and he didn’t do it? Jason says he didn’t inform on Sonny, and Dante says, then who? Jason sighs and says, that, he can’t say. Dante says, the FBI must have some serious leverage, something big to get him to cooperate, and Jason says, it was big enough that he had no choice but to take their deal and do exactly what they wanted. Dante says, can Jason swear to him that it has nothing to do with his father? and Jason says, Sonny has nothing to do with this. He’s safe. And Jason is going to do his best to make sure he stays that way.
Anna says, son of a bitch. Sonny has the gall to come in here and try and get her to file charges against Jason. Sonny says he just wanted a heads up in case he has to testify, and she says, there are no charges to file. It’s clear Jason stopped that sniper from shooting him. Anyway, this is an FBI case now, so if he’ll… If he wants her to arrest someone, she can always circle back to the attack on Cyrus on Christmas Eve. He asks, where’s this hostility coming from? and she says, it’s an open case in her jurisdiction and she has a lot of DNA evidence collected from the victim indicating him as the attacker. Cyrus may have declined to press charges on Sonny, but honestly, she doesn’t need him to move forward. He says he thought they were getting closer and that doesn’t seem to be the case now. What’s happening? She says, it’s not the case. She thinks her attitude toward him was really colored by his friendship with Robin and what he did for her and Stone. But if he thought for one second that she was okay with him beating an old man bloody and unconscious, no matter if he’s a vile person, he was sorely mistaken. She’s Police Commissioner, and his days of thinking he’s going to skate no matter what the offense, they’re over. So if he doesn’t mind – even if he does mind – get out of her office.
Tomorrow, Stella asks why Curtis is keeping this from his family; Anna says, it’s her jurisdiction and she wants in; Dex says, that was a stupid and ugly reason to die; Willow says she thought Carly and Jason told each other everything; and Jason asks John why he should continue to honor that.
Below Deck
Port Louis Marina – We backtrack a little to Xandi asking why she has to change herself to make a 22-year-old feel good about herself. In his bunk with Sunny, Ben tells her that she needs to trust him, and she apologizes because she’s an idiot. He’s totally untrustworthy. The crew all go to bed, and Xandi mumbles that she’s a 30-year-old involved in child’s play. Apparently, she is obsessed with ages. In Kyle’s interview, he says that he and Barbie formed a relationship. He doesn’t know if he’ll be friendzoned, but time will tell. In the morning, Sunny says she needs to get a grip, and in her interview, she says she has an alter-ego when she drinks, and Sabrina is a jealous bitch. The guys she used to date were little a-holes and cheated on her. Sabrina was her protective shield, but she wants her gone now. Tequila Sabrina, buh-bye. Fraser whines that he’s so hungover, and Sunny apologizes to Xandi. Xandi tells her that there’s no reason to be jealous.
Fraser calls the interior to the sundeck and says, they were hoping for a new stew, but there’s been no news. Captain Kerry calls Curtis at yacht service and asks to see resumés. Fraser suggests they get everything done so they can clock off with a happy heart. In Kyle’s interview, he says, his mom is the best. She raised him on her own until he was five, when she got together with his stepdad. His dad came around later, but he decided his dad couldn’t just jump in when he felt like it. His stepdad adopted him, and he considers him his dad. The deckhands rinse down the boat and Fraser asks the captain about a new stew. Captain Kerry explains that it’s busy season, and asks, how’s the chef? Fraser says he thinks Anthony has too much on his plate and it’s a sh*tshow. We flash back to the galley in disarray, and Frasers says, the organization is terrible. He wonders if the captain can step in, and in Captain Kerry’s interview, he says, chefs are artists. He once hired a good friend who was a chef and ruined the friendship. He tells Fraser, there’s got to be balance. Anthony will believe his art is being critiqued. In Anthony’s interview, he says, revenge is his motivation. Since he was a kid, he’s been dyslexic. It’s hard be focused and it makes the job more difficult. You need to love what you do. The captain calls Fraser, Anthony, and Ben for the preference sheet meeting.
Captain Kerry says he’s impressed with how hard they worked on the last charter. This charter, the primary is Melinda, who was a cruise director. There are a bunch of people coming with her, but the only important one is Jill Zarin, a RHONY OG, who is guest Gary’s girlfriend. Fraser asks what pickleball is and the captain tells him, tennis for rich people. There are tons of food preferences and foods the guests are allergic too. So many, I can’t even keep up. The primary is egg free, gluten free, and dairy free. She’s a vegetarian who’s beginning to integrate fish into her diet, but doesn’t want raw seafood. Anthony says he’ll give her dust. She wants a gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free Piña Colada-inspired birthday cake for herself, and a regular-ass cake for her husband Noah, as they’re both celebrating. In Anthony’s interview, he says he’s stressed. There are a lot of restrictions, and he keeps hoping it’s not real, but it’s real. Ben reads that one of the guests is a yogi, who will lead the guests in a sunset flow after pickleball at the beach. The crew gets to bed early, and in the morning, Dylan says he loves the feeling of getting a pump. If he doesn’t have a dumbbell, he feels sad. Well, he should have no problem with that since Ben is around. Captain Kerry walks around the boat with Ben and says, it’s better. Provisions come in and we find out the fridge is named Christopher because it’s a walk-in. BA-DUM-CHH! In Fraser’s interview, he says, he’s feeling a stew down, and Xandi says, yachting is f***ed.
The guests are arriving in 15 minutes, and I’ve decided they must be a-holes just because they hang with Jill. The guests arrive, the usual happens, and Jill thinks the hot tub is too hot. Anthony slices the biggest avocado I’ve ever seen, and Fraser points out that there are quite a few dietary restrictions. Sunny calls departure for the first time, and in her interview, she says she grew up on the water and it reminds her of home in Montreal. When she went to university, she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life, and it damaged her self-esteem. Why it should, I’m not sure. She says, yachting opened a door to new self-esteem and confidence. En route to Le Phare Bleu, Jill complains that they don’t have the best ice machine and she needs her Diet Coke to be in the freezer. Barbie suggests nugget ice, and Jill is good with that. In Barbie’s interview, she says, Jill is the primary in her head. Jill tells the other guests that she just showed them how to make a good Diet Coke. Anthony tells Fraser that he wants to do lobster, but Fraser reminds him that the primary doesn’t like lobster. In his interview, Fraser says he thinks Anthony is overwhelmed. He’s not focused and doesn’t know what to do, so he’s not there. Anthony says, welcome to paradise.
Anchor is dropped, and Jill babbles to Fraser about guest Noah’s father inventing the Moderna vaccine. The toys are put out and the guests go into the water, while Jill sits on the boat. In Barbie’s interview, she says, this boat is three times bigger than what she’s used to, but her dad didn’t raise a quitter. Jill blabs to Captain Kerry about how she drove a boat. The captain calls Ben to the wheelhouse, and Ben says he’s putting more responsibility on the others. The captain asks if he’s worked out who his lead deckhand needs to be. Dylan has experience, but may or may not be the one. Dylan tells the guests that he’s happy to be here. This is living. And he’s going to be lead deckhand. Xandi and Captain Kerry eat in the crew mess, and Xandi asks how long he’s been with his girlfriend. He tells her, three years, and in her interview, she says, after her divorce, she had a good relationship, but they broke up and it hurt her. She went to a healer to release her from the pain. She needed to love herself and she’s taken a stage of celibacy. If you don’t want marriage and kids, move along. Jill wants a makeup mirror, and bitches that there’s no electric in her bathroom for her to dry her hair. Barbie explains that the outlet is hidden in the drawer and goes to the bathroom to show her. While Jill has a captive audience, she tells Barbie that every yacht she’s been on has a load of toothpaste, toothbrushes, mouthwash, etc. in a vanity drawer, so she can pocket them. In her interview, Barbie says, she’s annoying. It’s too much. The primary’s freeloading guest is so demanding, she needs another stew just for Jill. Jill kvetches that she wants a chocolate on her pillow, and I’m pretty sure now that Bobby died just to get away from her.
Jill starts the list again, and Barbie tells Jill that she’ll hook this whole situation up for her. She tells Fraser about Jill saying, yachts are supposed to have this stuff, and Xandi frantically tries to find toiletries. Barbie brings Jill a little basket of stuff, and instead of thank you, Jill says, somebody’s been scrambling. Captain Kerry texts about the new stew and is told they’re working on it. The table is beautiful with a collection of candles in different colors and heights. In Anthony’s interview, he says he loves scallops. They melt in your mouth. Someone is vegan and he wants to make them feel like the other guests, so he’s going to use tofu, so they feel like they’re at the same party. Fraser calls the crew to the upper pantry for the birthday cake presentation. Anthony tells the primary that there’s a pina colada flan and a raspberry shortcake. In their interview, Fraser tells Anthony, it wasn’t easy, but he nailed it, and they high-five. The guests go to bed at 11:30, so, there’s that. Barbie says, Jill is super needy, and she has to get to f***ing bed.
Second day of charter. Jill screeches for Gary, and says, that’s her life. Sadly, it’s Gary’s life too. The guests sit for breakfast. Somebody wants hot sauce, and another guest wants a drink. Jill says, they need a doorbell, when Fraser appears, and Jill says she recommend a button for her the primary to use. On her yacht, they used to have a doorbell that went to the kitchen. Fraser says, they must have loved her, and Jill laughs, but I don’t think he was being playful. He tells her that there’s usually a crew member around, but she says, most of the time, there isn’t, which is just an outright lie. She says, they can get a bell on Amazon, and in Fraser’s interview, he says, Jill is crawling into his brain and eating away his soul. He tells Captain Kerry about the button conversation, and it’s a hard no on the doorbell.
Fraser packs for pickleball, and in Kyle’s interview, he says, Dylan is a good lad, but they’ve high-fived more times than he can count. We flash back to several of those, and Jill tells primary Melinda that she put on her preference sheet that she wants food out all the time and thinks something should be out all day. When Barbie comes by, Jill tells her that they should have snacks on the bar all the time, and Barbie says she’ll make that happen. Jill tells Melinda that she has to get involved. She’s pushy, but they’ll be satisfied. Is that her word for embarrassed? Fraser and Sunny scout for a beach location, and Anthony looks spaced out when Barbie gives him lunch burger orders and writes it on the whiteboard. In Anthony’s interview, he says he’s had dyslexia his entire life. Letters and numbers. He has no idea what to do. He’s lost. Has he bothered telling anyone this? Barbie writes it down on a legal pad, and in her interview, she says, lunch is turning out to be a complete nightmare. Jill says, her burger is cold, and yells if anybody else’s burger is cold, just tell them. They love it. Because she’s with a troop of five-year-olds and their crew of mommies. The offending burgers are bright back to the galley. On the beach, Fraser asks if Sunny has feelings for Ben, and she tells him about Tequila Sabrina. Jill gripes that they should done a buffet. Anthony says, it’s hard to understand, and Xandi says, the menu isn’t converted properly. Barbie tells the captain that Anthony is disorganized, and it caused a disaster. He tells her that he’ll do damage control, and at the table, Jill says she wants to know the meals in advance. The captain comes to the table and says he heard there was some confusion, but it looks like everything is all out now. Everybody tells him, it’s all great, so he goes back to his real job. Jill says, the captain shouldn’t be bothered with this, so apparently, there’s no pleasing her. Barbie tells the captain that she appreciates him. It won’t happen again. Dylan washes the fat residue from his ham, which I totally get. Jill wants to talk to the chef under the guise of Melinda talking to the chef. She says she has to be mommy now. Kyle and Ben laugh about pickleball, while Anthony goes to meet with faux primary Jill. He says he wants to make everyone happy, and chicken pad tai is decided on, along with a tofu option. Jill asks if they can have sushi at the bar before dinner, and crudites for her since she doesn’t do sushi. In Anthony’s interview, he wonders if the primary is okay with her friend taking over the boat like a f***ing captain. The guests leave in the tender, and Fraser welcomes them to pickleball beach. In Ben’s interview, he says, he’s been known to play Grand Slam champions, and we flash back to that last season. He thinks pickleball will be a breeze. Barbie calls friend Brit and complains about Xandi. In his interview, Fraser says, please, God, help me.
Fraser tells Jill that he’s sorry about lunch, and she says, don’t be, but then proceeds to complain about it. She says, something’s off, and in Barbie’s interview, she says, this situation is f***ed. She’s doing everything herself. The guests do meditation at the beach, while on the boat, Barbie complains to Anthony that she had to do everything while Xandi was doing yoga. When Fraser gets back with the guests, Barbie complains to him, and he says, they’re just going until they die. In Xandi’s interview, she says, Barbie has become Jill’s personal assistant. Fraser puts out the sushi and remembers the primary didn’t want any raw seafood. I’m guessing the primary didn’t remember either or doesn’t know what sushi is, since she was right there when Jill told Anthony to serve it before dinner. In Captain Kerry’s interview, he says, Jill is rattling their cages. They should be focused on the primary; they’re number one and in charge. Anthony should be focused, but he’s out of his depth and imploding. He tells Fraser that they can’t afford these mistakes. They can’t drift from what the primary wants. Otherwise, they’ll make more mistakes.
Next time, the crew gets a day off; Barbie thinks Fraser wants to fire her; the new stew arrives; and Ben finds the new stew attractive. I’m pretty sure Ben would find Godzilla attractive if Godzilla had boobies.
⚰️ This Week In Ones…
I’m just going to put this out there. This was the finale, and it was good, but I felt a bit ripped off at the end. Either they should have had an extra-long episode or one more episode. It was a little too quickly and neatly wrapped up for me.
Rick meets with General Beale; General Beale tells Rick, the sword that kills is the sword that gives life – and they’re the sword; a hiding place inside a sculpture; reflection on everything that ever happened on The Walking Dead; a day completely about tomorrow; the CRM’s plans; burning things to bring things back; and love doesn’t die.
🚴♀️ Better Late Than Even Later…
Join me tomorrow for soap and VanderMess. Until then, stay safe, stay not using your phone as a security blanket to avoid social interaction, and stay getting the full story before writing someone off.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 