Tag Archives: Bravo

Feb6

February 5, 2018 – Peter Gets Grilled, I Hate Jax Even More & the Colonel

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Carly tells Jason that he wants to do the noble thing, and is concerned about Sam’s happiness. She tells him that he should fight for her, unless he believes she’ll be happier with Drew. Jason says he doesn’t get to decide what makes Sam happy, so please drop it.

Sam believes who Drew is inside is still there. He doesn’t need the flash drive; he can remember on his own. He says aside from a flicker of déjà vu when he met Kim, it’s a blank. The flash drive might be his best chance. Sam tells him if they find it, she wants him to be careful how he uses it.

Franco gives Doc the rabbit foot to put alongside the brain in a jar. Doc says it’s party central now; all they need is a disco ball. Doc asks if it’s connected to Franco’s claim that he hurt people as a child. He was only a little boy. Franco says he sent the boy who was his best friend at the time, falling down a flight of stairs.

Elizabeth asks Griff how he’s holding up. Griff says he’s lost patients before, but this one hit hard. Elizabeth says they had a history, and Griff adds, not a good one. He wonders if there’s something more he could have done, and didn’t.

At the MetroCourt bar, Ava tells Nelle not to underestimate Carly. Once she paints a target on your back, she won’t rest until she takes you out. Nelle says she’ll have to take Carly out first. Ava says she needs to plan and have s strategy. Nelle needs to be careful that Carly doesn’t suspect anything. Nelle says she won’t, just like the last time. Ava tells her that Carly knows how she operates now, and Nelle says she came close to pulling it off. Ava says until she fell in love with Carly’s son. Nelle tells Ava the biggest obstacle between her and Michael is his family.

Sonny knocks on Mike’s door. A woman opens it, and checks him out, leaving the chain attached. Sonny starts to introduce himself, but she says she recognizes him, and opens the door. She says Mike must be in more trouble than she thought.

Franco tells Doc that he thought the other boy was his brother, since his mom raised them together. Doc asks where his parents were, and Franco says Betsy was hiding the boy from Alan; it was Drew. Betsy thought Franco might hurt him again, so she sent him to live in an orphanage. He wonders if Faison did Drew a favor.

At the Aurora office, Peter looks at the latest article about Faison. A police officer comes in, and tells Peter they’re almost finished. They’re doing a final sweep to look for the bullet Faison shot at him.

Sam tells Drew they have no leads on the flash drive. She wonders what he’s thinking, since they can’t exactly plug it into him, and access his memories and past. What if it’s worse than they know? Why chase after something so dangerous to use?

Carly needs Jason to be okay. She’s not sure she can get through the next six months. Oh, that’s nice. She needs him to be okay for her. She can’t believe that psychopath is carrying her grandchild. He didn’t see how Nelle took advantage of Morgan’s death. Carly did her part, beginning the involvement with taking Nelle’s kidney, but she attacked them at their most vulnerable, and Carly thinks she doesn’t have a heart or soul. Jason asks if Nelle scares her, and she says she’s terrified that Nelle is carrying Michael’s child. He puts up with more than he should, and she doesn’t want that for him. Jason isn’t saying there’s no reason to worry, but tells her that Michael is an incredible man, and will be an incredible father. He might give Nelle too much leeway, but will put the baby first, and they’ll be there to help. Carly says it won’t be the last time he’ll need to calm her down; he’s going to have to stop her from kicking Nelle’s ass. Michael walks in and asks if she’s pissed at Nelle again, or is there a family crisis he doesn’t know about?

The woman invites Sonny in, telling him that she and Mike have been together five years. She says Mike talks about Sonny all the time, and tells him what beautiful kids he has. She introduces herself as Rita. She tells Sonny that they met at Gamblers Anonymous, and it’s good to have a boyfriend who’s also in recovery; they understand each other. At least she thought they did. Recently, two goons showed up, saying Mike owed them ten large. Sonny asks where Mike is, and she says that’s the problem. She has no idea.

Rita says Mike went out to get the paper. Nothing seemed strange; he was his usual cheerful self. Sonny suggests calling him, but Rita says he left his phone. She tells Sonny that he clams to get caught up talking to people, but he’s been vague and wandering. It’s the first sign of shady behavior since they’ve been together. Sonny asks who he borrowed $10K from, and she says not borrowed. It was his boss’s money that he was supposed to deliver.

Carly tells Michael that she’s pissed, and has every reason to be. He asks if this a brand new reason, and Carly claims not to be looking for conflict, but Nelle makes it inevitable. Jason tries to ditch this conversation, but she asks him to stay. He sighs. Michael tries to talk, but Carly barrels over him, and Jason tells her to let him talk. Michael says that Nelle is connected to their family now. They’re having a kid, and it’s going to be okay. She asks how, and he says he doesn’t know yet; they’ll work on it. He knows she hates it, but she won’t self-destruct. When she feels it coming on, call Jason, and he’ll talk her down. Jason says he loves them both, but he’ll see them later. When he’s gone, Michael tells Carly to lay it on him. What did Nelle do?

Ava says Michael must have felt the same way about Nelle at some point. Nelle says it was wonderful for a while. Ava asks what happened, and answers her own question; Carly. Nelle says no matter how many times she apologized, Carly wouldn’t let it go. It wasn’t enough for her and Sonny to hate her; she wanted Michael to hate her too. She chipped away at him, and whispered in his ear, until he finally took her word over Nelle’s. Ava says she’s sorry, but Nelle says, she’s not. That won’t be how it is forever. They’ll have a beautiful baby, and give the baby what she always wanted and never had; two loving parents, a family, and a home full of love.

Doc asks Franco how it felt, pushing his friend down the stairs. Franco is ambivalent, since he doesn’t know what happened; Betsy told him about it. Doc says she’s lied before, but Franco says she lied to protect him, not hurt him. It took months to pry it out of her, and even then she was reluctant. Doc wonders if she just wanted him to think so. Franco says she knew the truth, and he pushed Drew to hurt him.

Elizabeth says Griff is a great doctor; one of GH’s best. He would have never let the animosity between him and Nathan get in the way. The only person responsible is Faison.

Jason visits Peter at the Aurora office. He heard Peter paid Faison a visit, and asks why. Peter says Faison took a shot at him, and he wanted him to know it didn’t take. Jason asks if there was anything else, and Peter says, not really, no. Jason asks which it is; not really or no? He asks if there was any chance the guard outside overheard their conversation, but Peter says the door was closed. Jason tells him he was the last person to see Faison alive, aside from the staff. Peter asks, what is this about exactly?

Sonny asks Rita if Mike is a bag man. She says he picks up the money and brings it to his boss. Sonny says, Caruso, and she says he’s a fair man and pays well. Mike doesn’t want to ask Sonny for money; being a burden is his worst nightmare. It’s the first time he didn’t deliver, and has been trustworthy up until now. She thinks he’s gambling again, and swiped the money to pay back the debt because he can’t come up with anything else. Mike (being played by Max Gail – they’re dragging in all the old sitcom guys) walks in. Mike asks Rita to make some coffee. His son has come for a visit.

Doc asks if Franco can recall any feelings surrounding the incident or hostility toward Drew for any reason? Franco says he wasn’t even in kindergarten yet. Doc asks what about afterward; did he miss Drew? Franco tells him that he asked about it so often, Betsy thought it was in his best interest to convince him that Drew never existed; he was a figment of Franco’s imagination. Drew didn’t fall by himself, but it still leaves the big question as to why.

Ava tells Nelle that she wants her little girl back even more now. Nelle says she’s not even a mom yet, but can’t imagine being separated from her baby. Ava says it’s a torture like no other, but she doesn’t see much choice. Nelle says, for now, but if she gets her way, Carly won’t be an issue for either of them. She’s going to fight fire with fire. Ava asks if she’s going to prove Carly is an unfit mother. Nelle says there’s some truth to that. Ava says she’s deranged when she perceives a threat to her family. She becomes 100% unhinged.

Michael asks if Carly confronted Nelle about her lost year. Carly says sort of, and Nelle turned violent and tried to hit her. I vote for someone clocking Carly really good.

Sam and Drew go over how Andre put the flash drive in a Christmas ornament, gave it to Anna, and and she unknowingly put it in a box of ornaments for the community tree. Sam says it disappeared afterward, and Drew asks what about the other ornaments? She says they were all still there, and he says it wasn’t random then. Someone was looking for it. Sam says it wasn’t Faison; he had no idea it existed, but maybe Henrik has it.

Peter tells Jason it’s starting to feel like an interrogation. Jason asks if Faison mentioned Henrik. Peter says no, but thanks him for the bullet that took Faison out. Jason wonders why Faison would have come to the Crimson office. Peter says he was there dropping off a report, but maybe Faison wanted to get to Maxie. Jason can’t figure out why he wouldn’t have gone to her apartment, and instead went to the office where there could be witnesses like Peter?

Rita is glad Mike is okay, and Mike asks why he wouldn’t be? Sonny asks for moment, and Rita says she has to open the bar anyway. She tells Sonny not to be a stranger, and leaves. Mike says it’s good to see him and they make small talk. He’s sorry about Morgan, and says no parent should have to bury a child. He tells Sonny that he had a week of masses said, and Sonny thanks him. He’s sorry he couldn’t have been there, and wishes he’d been the kind of father Sonny could turn to for support. He’s sorry about all of it. Sonny asks what trouble he’s gotten himself into?

Doc suggests maybe Franco never pushed Drew, or it was an accident. He was just a small child, and children are impulsive. Franco says it wasn’t an accident, but Doc thinks maybe he’s begging to be branded a lost cause to protect himself. Franco says he’s trying to protect Elizabeth and the kids. Doc asks if he’s ever had the impulse to hurt any of them, and Franco says, no. Doc asks if that doesn’t speak volumes. Franco says it doesn’t prove he’s cured, and Doc says it doesn’t prove he’s not. If there’s even the whisper of a chance he could hurt them, he’d need to get away, even if breaks his heart.

Elizabeth tells Griff that she and Franco finally set a date. She says it’s a struggle for him to be happy, and he tends to self-sabotage. Griff says it’s a process, and he needs to trust it. Elizabeth says process should be his middle name. He needs to learn to get out of his own way. Griff thinks that’s a lesson for all of them. Elizabeth asks does he ever wonder if Ava will revert to her old ways, and how that would change everything? He says he thinks about there always being that chance, but he has faith. They toast to faith with their water bottles.

Nelle tells Ava that she’s going to hit Carly where it hurts, and knows exactly how to do it.

Carly tells Michael that Nelle tried to slap her, but she has excellent reflexes. He asks how it went down, because Michael talks like a combination hippie/gangster from the 70s. He knows it didn’t happen out of the blue. Carly says she knows how to push Nelle to the breaking point, and Michael asks if she said Nelle would be an unfit mother. She says it could have happened that way, but it was more like she intimated he would think so. Michael tells her that’s not fair. She says she had no idea how Nelle would react, and she knows he wouldn’t allow a child to be in danger. He tells her to trust him. He gets it, and everything will work out. Carly tells him, if he says so.

Sam says maybe Henrik had Anna followed, but Drew asks how he would know that the flash drive was in the ornament? She says maybe he had audio surveillance, and beat her to the park. Drew says the problem is that they don’t know who Henrik is or how to find him. Even though neither one of them are comfortable with the procedure, if she wants an adventure, they should go looking for the flash drive. They can call Anna, and find out what she knows. Sam thinks they should call Jason too, but Drew says to leave him out for now. Anna can tell them what they need to know. They still have a company to run, and he has a meeting with Peter. Sam says she’ll meet Drew later at home.

Jason tells Peter that Faison wouldn’t make a move unless it was calculated. Peter says he could have had Maxie followed. Jason says she got there after he did, and Peter says maybe his car was faster. Or maybe he used the Star Trek transporter. Peter says he’s sorry Jason can’t get answers from Faison, but he’s not sure how he can help. Jason asks if he knows anything about the flash drive. Peter days that Drew grilled Faison, and nothing came from it. The officer comes back, saying the office is almost cleared for reentry. They never found the bullet, so if the staff comes across it… Peter says they’ll be the first call.

Nelle goes to Sonny’s house. She tells Michael she’s glad he’s there for this. She tells Carly she wants to apologize. She lost her temper. Carly admits she was out of line too. Nelle says all is forgiven. She knows she caused everyone pain, and wants to make it up. Carly says it’s not necessary, and Nelle says she thought of the perfect way.

Sonny tells Mike that Caruso called with some concerns, and asks if Mike is a bag man; it’s what Rita told him. He says it’s a bad idea, but Mike asks how he’s supposed to get job at his age, and with his history? Caruso called with an offer, and he took it. Sonny asks what kind of trouble he’s in, and Mike asks if Sonny is checking up on him. Sonny says guys came by looking for ten grand that wasn’t delivered. What happened to the money?

Peter tells the officer that maybe the gun misfired; he doesn’t know much about firearms. He wonders if he should add that to his statement, and the officer says he’ll be in touch. When he’s gone, Jason says he didn’t know about the missing bullet. Peter says that man had a badge, and Jason doesn’t. If he has any further questions, he needs to call for an appointment. Jason says he’ll have Sam set it up.

Doc tells Franco that any root causes, besides the tumor have to be differentiated. Franco says he’s getting married this month, and Doc says he can’t rush the process. Franco asks if Doc told that to Ryan. Doc says his brother was the victim of sex abuse at the hands of their mother, and it caused his psychosis. He died before he could be healed. He thinks Franco can be healed too, if he isn’t already. He’s already proven he can be helped by coming there. There’s hope for him to be happy yet, and Doc wants to prove it.

Sam sees Jason at Aurora, and they soap gaze at each other before the commercial. Sam tells Jason that Drew wants to look for the flash drive. She’d suggested they work with him, but Drew disagreed. Jason says she can ask him anything anytime. Sam says Drew wants them to do it alone, and she’s not going behind his back. He thinks they could go farther if they shared information. She says he likes working with Sonny and Spinelli, and Drew likes working with her. She wishes they would treat each other like the brothers they are, but doesn’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon. They’re Danny’s parents. That’s never going to change, but outside of that, she doesn’t think they’ll be seeing much of each other. She tells him to take care. He gives her a puzzled look, and tells her she knows where to find him if she needs him. He walks away, and she sighs. It’s catching.

Peter tells Drew there’s something he should know. Drew’s brother came see him. He wanted answers about Faison. He has no idea why Jason came to him. He never laid eyes on Faison before that night.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he took her advice and saw Doc; they just had a session. Doc thinks he can help, and there might be hope for him after all. She says she knows there is.

Ava asks how Griff is; she knows last night was rough. He says he’s hanging in there. She asks if there’s anything she can do, and he says she’s doing it. She’s exactly what he needs. They kiss.

Mike can’t believe Sonny thinks he stole money. He says he takes his job seriously. Sonny asks where the $10K is, and tells Mike to admit. He’ll take care of it. Sonny thinks it’s just the tip of the iceberg, and the last thing he wants to hear is that Mike is dead on the street. He asks how much Mike owes, and Mike says he’s nothing but an obligation to Sonny. Sonny asks what happened, but Mike says he doesn’t know.

Michael tells Nelle that she doesn’t have to do anything. She says she came up with an idea everyone will love. She’s decided whether it’s a boy or girl, she’ll name the baby Morgan.

No preview, but at least George Stephanopoulos waited until the actual show was over to tell us about the DOW plunge. He claims Wall Street veterans saw this coming. Please, so did I. And so did anyone who pays attention. That’s how it works.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi and James meet with Lisa. She asks if they’re ready for tomorrow. It’s her inauguration for being the new editor and chief at Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine. She wants it to be a beautiful night, and go without a hitch. Stassi assures her it will go perfectly. Lisa says it had better, or she’ll be the one looking like an idiot. James tells her that he can handle both parties, since his weekly DJ gig is the same night. After Lisa leaves. Stassi tells James he can bring his boyfriend if he wants. He tells her to shut up, and says that Raquel is pissed.

Schwartz and Tom meet with MJ, the dude who did their suits for the wedding. The triplets are thirty, and live at home with mom in Florida. Tom wants to do a more extensive makeover than he did for the wedding. Schwartz says Katie has gone from tequila Katie to chamomile tea Katie, and she’s being cool about them staying at their place. In her interview, Katie says she’s trying to be a supportive wife.

Billie Lee meets Stassi at SUR. Her podcast, Straight Up with Stassi, is still a priority, and she thinks Billie would be an incredible guest. Billie just had her nails done, and says the girls had some words about Stassi, and told her to be careful. We see Ariana saying Stassi takes pride in being ignorant, and basically calling her a racist. Stassi tells Billie to listen to the podcast in question – about the Academy Awards speeches being political in talking about race, but as though only African Americans were affected. We hear a clip, and she wonders why there are no mentions of Asians, Latinos, or Native Americans? Apparently, she got a lot of flak for the episode, and was called all kinds of names. I dunno. Sounds like a legitimate question to me. She says ignorant she can accept, but she’s not anti-anyone, unless you’re an a-hole. She gets teary, saying it’s serious to say about someone. Billie says it’s not her perception of Stassi. Stassi removes her eyelashes, and Billie lights some sage. True story. A million years ago, when I was going home from work and taking the subway at 42nd Street, this African American dude dressed in Muslim garb asked me for a dollar. I was polite, but told him no, and he said, “I hate white people.” I told him that I didn’t hate anyone – except a-holes, implying he was one. That’s still my stance.

Katie blows up the air mattress, and talks to the dogs about the triplets coming, saying she’s outnumbered. Tom wants to teach the triplets about building a good foundation with fashion. Good luck with that. Katie tells Jax and Tom there was an electrical fire at SUR. Tom says Jeremy kept the fire from spreading until the fire department came. He asks Jax if he’d be sad if SUR burned down, and Jax says, no. Nice.

The triplets arrive. Tom lays some underwear, shoes, and basic clothing on them. He talks about how he made over Schwartz, and Schwartz says it’s the not-so-extreme makeover – triplet edition. Katie doesn’t mind a houseguest for a few nights, but Schwartz better make sure the place isn’t smelling like socks and farts. Jax is ready to get his house back after being blindsided with Brittany’s mom and sister. He says Kristen’s intention was to get at him, not help Brittany out.

Lisa looks things over at SUR. The electrical cupboard shorted out. The flames didn’t reach the restaurant, but the smoke did. She doesn’t think they can open tonight. Stassi says she has people who are willing to work the party, but some won’t. Ariana has to think about it, since Stassi isn’t her boss. Lisa asks what happened, and Stassi starts crying. She tells Lisa about the girls saying she’s closed- minded, and doesn’t care about social issues. In her interview, Lisa says she thinks a lot of things about Stassi, but racism and homophobia aren’t any of them, and she would never tolerate it. She tells Stassi to pull herself together and do her job.

The crew arrives for work. Lisa doesn’t know how, but they’re going to manage James’s party. Part of the restaurant will be closed. She talks about the magazine party, and suddenly Ariana is okay with working. In her interview, Lisa says Ariana and Stassi are always fighting for queen bee position, but if they’d join together, they’d be unstoppable. She tells them that Stassi is speaking for her, and jokes they should call Stassi Miss Schroeder.

The crew prepares for the party. Pandora wonders where Jax and Ariana are. Ariana finally shows. She’s pissed because she thought she was just pouring wine, and actually has to do some work. She complains to Billie and Lala. Stassi is mad at herself for not learning that Jax can’t be counted on, and now she has to bartend.

Giggy! Stassi tells Lisa that Jax isn’t answering his phone. Lisacan’t believe he has the nerve to let her down after the passes she’s given him. Brittany arrives, and says he’s still at home. Lisa calls him an unreliable ass, and Max takes over. Lisa asks Brittany to help Ariana. Brittany says Jax is dragging her down with him.

Billie tells Lala about the podcast. Lala doesn’t think Stassi is ignorant, but she doesn’t think before she speaks. Stassi is proud of herself for not putting her feelings ahead of work. Jax finally rolls in. Lisa says he’s an hour late, and calls him a selfish a-hole. He apologizes, saying it’s okay, and she says it’s not okay. I hate that too, when people say it’s okay when it’s not. In his interview, Jax says it’s just rich people having free drinks, and doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Have I mentioned how much I hate Jax? Lisa tells us that she tries not to lose her temper, but if no one is calling him out for being an a-hole, she’s going to do it. She tells Jax to get lost, and Stassi says he’s the same old unreliable Jax.

Jax whines to the guys that he should be working the party, but showed up thirty minutes late, and got kicked out. (Has he met Dorit?) Schwartz says Jax is always in trouble with something. In his interview, Jax asks what he’s done differently than his friends? They’ve all lied, cheated, and been late to work. Well, for one thing, he’s lived about ten years longer, and should know better. He takes a swig of his beer, and hits his tooth with the bottle. I laugh. Schwartz suggests Jager bombs (ugh! ptooey!), and Jax complains that he’s trying to tell them his feelings.

Mark, the president of the magazine, introduces Lisa as the new editor and chief. She says it’s bittersweet, since Mark’s father passed away two weeks ago. She promises to hold the standard as high as her heels, and will endeavor to take over the reins.

Katie tells Lisa that while she was pouring champagne, Kevin Lee asked her what happened that she gained so much weight, said she needs to work on it, and wouldn’t drop it. Lisa is furious, and wonders if he’s lost his mind. She says it’s never okay for a man to comment in a derogatory way about a woman’s appearance. She tells Katie that she’s gorgeous, and don’t tell her otherwise. Katie starts to cry, and Lisa reminds Katie that she fell through a skylight. We see an old video of Katie, with her jaw wired, talking about falling twenty-five feet and down a flight of stairs. She explains that everything comes into perspective when you cheat death. You can’t help but look at things differently. In her interview, Katie says they could have removed the scar, but it would have erased a monumental moment in her life. Lisa tells her that she went through something crazy, but she’s still her. Katie thanks her, and they hug.

James moves on to the next party, yelling about it to the people he passes on the way. A lot of the group is already there, and the girls who were working the magazine party join them. Jax keeps insisting he was only thirty minutes late. Kristen, Stassi, and Katie sit outside. Katie tells them about Kevin commenting on her weight. In her interview, Stassi wonders who he thinks he is, and if the only attractive body is supposed to be really skinny. Katie says he told her he was shocked at how big she was. BTW, she’s not big by any stretch of the imagination. She tells them if he’d said that last year, with the place she was in, she wouldn’t have been able to take it. In her interview, she says she’s been trying to work on a positive body image, getting in shape, and feeling good. It was a bit of a slap in the face. Kristen says only people who hate themselves say sh*t like that. Kristen is like the voice of reason this time around. Who would have known? Stassi tells them about what Billie said before the podcast, and how she was told she should be scared of Stassi. Like she was only there to trick her. In her interview, Stassi says one good thing about being busy and stressed is that she got to forget, and take a break from feeling sh*tty about herself. She feels mortified, and needs to take her lashes off again.

Jax wishes he could trade places with the triplets. I wish he could too. In her interview, Kristen says Jax only cares about Jax. He tells the table that Kristen is trying to poison his relationship, she’s the fakest bitch ever, and the most annoying person he’s ever met. In her interview, Kristen says she’s a lightning rod for Jax’s hatred. Jax asks Scheana if he got involved in her divorce, and she’s like as a matter-of-fact, he made a few comments. We flash back to him sticking his nose totally into her business. He says his relationship is nobody’s business. At the other table, Brittany tells him to look at her, but he’s on a roll. She goes over, and tells him to calm down. He’s talking about one of her best friends, and she can hear every word he’s saying. He needs to be careful. This isn’t them moving forward and making things better; he’s making things worse. She can hear him screaming, and acting like a lunatic. She thought Kristen bringing her family to her was a great thing to do. He needs to watch his tone, watch what he’s saying, and be respectful toward women. Go, Brittany! Although it’s doubtful he’ll listen. Scheana says that he’s almost forty. He needs to watch his blood pressure. Ha-ha! I’ll bet that hurt worse than anything Brittany had to say.

Tom asks how the magazine party was, and Katie tells the group about what Kevin said. Schwartz says he’s just bitchy. Tom says he’d tell him eff-you. In her interview, Katie says a man should never comment on a woman’s body. She thinks as long as a woman feels good in her own skin and is happy with her body, it shows, and nothing more beautiful. She tells them to have fun, and leaves. She’s replaced by the man glam squad, who comes to give the triplets haircuts. Schwartz thinks it’s a major success, and wants to savor the moment. They get dressed in their new clothes. Schwartz says he’s biased, but you won’t meet sweeter guys. The looks on their faces make him smile. They go out on the town.

Idiot Jax goes to the Kelsey the Reiki master. She asks why he’s so angry? In his interview, he tells us that he’s going to two therapists. We see his talk therapist giving him a startled look when he says something incredibly selfish. He says Kelsey sees the good in him, and it means a lot. She makes him repeat a bunch of stupid stuff about owning his anger, and has him take deep breaths. She asks what was the first thing on his path to destruction, and he says getting into acting. It’s a disgusting life, full of rejection, and when you are picked, you’re just being used. Pretty much like any job, but it can pay a lot more. He says he chose to go down that path, and he owns it. He’s work in progress. Argh! Another buzz-phrase I hate. To her credit, Kelsey says, we all are, and can learn. He can be a better Jax. Jax tells her to call him Jason, which is his real name. In his interview, he says that when he was nineteen or twenty, he started living in a fictitious world. He had to tell stories for people to like him. He wants to know Jason again. He tears up, and Kelsey asks if he feels authentic. He does, and they hug.

Next time, both Ariana and Stassi have a birthday, Lisa talks to Brittany about Jax, Stassi has a murder-themed birthday, and leaves her own party.

🌃 Bethenny and Frederik premieres tomorrow, Tuesday, at 10 pm.

🍗 Weirdness…

What’s the thing with celebrities wanting to dress like Colonel Sanders? Rob Lowe, Ray Liotta, now Reba McEntire joins the club. Is this some kind of fetish? Can it possibly pay that much?

🐓 Retro Colonel

KFC

KFC2

KFC3

Feb1

January 31, 2018 – I Blame Lulu, Karma Hits Larry & a Little New Jersey

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Nathan flatlines.

Lulu writes… Detective Nathan West is fighting for his life, his wife Maxie by his side… according to sources, Detective West went face to face with his father, notorious criminal Cesar Faison… She continues on, telling the story about Maxie being held hostage, and that they’re expecting their first child. Faison fled, but because of Nathan, Maxie and the baby are safe.

Jordan looks at a picture of Faison, and crumples it

At the hospital, Peter looks at the real Faison.

Amy gets Maxie out of the room. Felicia and Mac have arrived, and comfort her in the waiting area.

Amy charges the defibrillator. Griff works on Nathan. In the hallway, Maxie says, come on, Nathan.

Lulu writes… Wheeled out by paramedics, Detective West gave a thumbs up to his wife, a silent gesture that he would be okay, this would not be their ending. It’s the kind of man he is, strong, positive, reassuring others in the face of his own pain… The true definition of a hero.

Griff says, he’s gone. What the what? I swear, after reading the latest Soaps in Depth, I was sure it would be otherwise. Maxie cries, no! but Griff says he’s so sorry; Nathan is gone. Everyone is in tears, and I curse the TV.

Peter sees Sam and Jason outside of Faison’s room at the hospital. Peter tells Drew to take a crack at him, but be warned, he can’t trust a word that bastard says.

Drew and Sam go into Faison’s room. Faison says he sees Drew got the girl – Jason’s wife. He asks if Drew is there to thank him.

Curtis sits with Lulu at Kelly’s. He asks if she’s heard anything about Nathan, and she’s hoping no news is good news. Dante is with him, but hasn’t called. Curtis says he’s there to pick up an order for Jordan, and it’s going to be a long night. He asks what she’s working on, and she tells him an article about Nathan. He hopes it has a happy ending, and she says, it will; it’s got to.

Stella comes by Jordan’s office. She says her landlord is at it again; there’s no heat. Jordan says that’s awful, but Stella doesn’t want her pity; she wants something done about it. Jordan needs evidence of criminal activity, and Stella suggests she come over and take the temperature of the apartment, then find that greedy snake and arrest him.

Griff says he did everything he could, but the damage was too extensive. Maxie wants to see him, and I get distracted by Felicia’s terrific haircut. Amy tells Maxie to take as much time as she needs. Maxie tells Felicia that she doesn’t know how to do this. How does she say goodbye? She tells lifeless Nathan that he helped her recognize she had the strength to save herself, and asks if he remembers that from their wedding vows. She’s trying to find strength now, but it doesn’t work without him; nothing will. She talks about how annoyed they were to be chained together, but would give anything to go back to it. She couldn’t admit it at the time, but she’s standing next to the greatest man she’s ever known. She loves him and always will. She touches her stomach, and says they both will. She kisses Nathan’s hand, and I’m seriously confused. A secret well-kept, I guess, but I feel swindled.

Nina asks Amy if they have to take him soon, and Amy says there’s a procedure they’re supposed to follow, but no rush. Felicia tells Maxie that they have to go now, but Maxie doesn’t think she can leave. Felicia leads her to the door, and she takes a last look. Amy places his hand back under the sheet, thanks him, and says she’ll never forget. She starts to put the sheet over him, but Dante says he’ll take over. He tells Nathan he’s not going to make a big thing, since Nathan would just tell him to shut up. He was the best partner and best friend Dante ever had. He tells Nathan not to worry about Maxie and the baby. He has them. He puts the sheet over Nathan. Oh, I see. He gets to go in, but Nina doesn’t?

Nina can’t believe this is happening; it’s surreal. Valentin tells her how sorry he is. If he could make it so it never happened, he would. She asks him to check on Charlotte. She asks him to tell her that she won’t be there to tuck her in, but she’ll be there in the morning. She needs him to tell her that she loves her. He says he will, and leaves. Nina goes to Maxie, and they cry. She thanks Maxie for loving her brother. She was his world; she loved him like he deserved to be loved. Nina walks into the hallway.

Jordan gets a call from Dante saying Nathan is gone. She asks if he was taken to the morgue, and he says any minute. She hangs up, and tells Stella that one of her detectives was just killed in the line of duty.

Dante sees a message from Lulu, and calls her. He tells her to get over to the hospital. She asks if Nathan is awake, and he tells her to just get to the hospital. She wants him to tell her what’s going on, and he says Nathan didn’t make it. She’s like, no! and he says it happened fast. She asks about Maxie, but says never mind; she’s on her way. Curtis says he’ll take her.

Obrecht tells Dante that Nathan is dead thanks to Lulu. Dante says Lulu didn’t want this, but Obrecht says she made it happen because she’s a vain, shallow excuse for a human being, who had no idea what she was toying with. He did though, and should have stopped her. He asks if he should have stopped Nathan too. He wanted to take the risk. Obrecht says don’t blame him. He was naïve, and his courage led him to make a foolish choice, but Lulu put it in motion because of ambition, after being a reporter for five minutes. Dante says everyone is grieving, and she says, funny, she doesn’t hear him arguing with her.

Sam asks if it amuses Faison to play games with people’s lives. Faison asks her if she’s sure she wants to stay with the replacement, and tells her to go back to the man she loves. She says she’s not letting him play with her head, and Drew asks where the flash drive is. Andre put his old memories on a flash drive, and gave it to Anna. What did he do with it? Faison says he didn’t know it existed. Drew asks what his plan is. What’s his end game, and why keep Jason around? Faison says he wanted to kill Jason. He didn’t keep him alive. He’s too dangerous to have running around. Sam asks, then who? His son, who apparently Drew knows? Faison says, that’s correct. Drew asks where to find Henrik. Faison says let him out, and he’ll tell him, and he’ll answer all his questions. Drew says he’ll go the rest of his life not knowing a damn thing before he helps Faison. He’s going to spend his remaining days in prison; in a cage. Faison says let him make something clear, they still need Henrik. Drew hopes he enjoys hell, and Sam says they’ll find him on their own.

Peter asks Nina what happened. She says her brother is dead, and that SOB killed him. She asks Drew if that’s his room, and runs toward it. Valentin grabs her. She tries to get away, but he holds on to her, and she yells, murderer!

Jordan tells the people at the station that Nathan didn’t make it. It’s rough when they lose one of their own, and she knows they’ll join her in extending their deepest sympathies to the family.

Lulu gets to the hospital, and hugs Dante. He thanks Curtis. Curtis asks if Jordan is there, but he says not yet. Lulu asks how did it happen; how is he gone?

Felicia tells Maxie that she needs to eat, take a shower, and get some rest. Maxie goes back into Nathan’s empty room, and she thinks back to them feeling the baby kick.

Dante thinks Lulu should give Maxie some space. She doesn’t know what to say, and Dante says there’s nothing to say. She’s trying to put herself in Maxie’s position, but her mind shuts down. She can’t even handle the thought, and Maxie is living it. She feels terrible for them both. Nathan was Dante’s brother. She asks what she can do, and Dante says her being there is enough.

Jordan arrives at the hospital. Curtis asks how she’s doing, and she asks how Maxie is. He says beat up, as expected. She says it happened on her watch, but Curtis says she’s not responsible. She tells him Nathan is a good man, a good cop, and about to have a baby; it’s not fair. Curtis says it’s not, and holds her.

Felicia tells Maxie it’s time to go home.

Dante suggest he and Lulu grab coffee, and get some air.

Val brings Nina an empty coffee cup. I swear, they will never learn how to carry a cup so that it looks like it’s full on this show. He wishes he could do more. She asks about Charlotte, and he says she’s fine, and he followed her instructions. Nina says she used to tell Nathan that she wasn’t going to be there when he closed his eyes, but would be when he opened them. She says he’s never going to open his eyes, and cries.

Peter asks Drew if he got any information from Faison. Drew says he wanted to cut a deal. He’d help Drew find his son if Drew helped him escape. Peter says he’s sure Drew laughed in his face, and Drew says, something like that. Peter says Faison is a piece of work. Sam is thinking about Maxie, and how lonely she must feel. A couple of hours ago, everything was fine. Now, just like that, it’s not. It went from light to dark, and everything is different.

Amy brings out Nathan’s bag of belongings, but no one is left in the waiting room. She hugs the bag.

Peter goes into Faison’s room. He tells Faison that he looks positively cadaverous. They might wheel him to the morgue before he’s ready. Faison says Peter would love that, and Peter asks if he can he blame him. He asks Faison how he’s feeling, and Faison says like he was shot. Peter says he has to admit Jason does good work. He couldn’t have found a better spot. Faison says, enough; what does he know about a flash drive? Peter says he doesn’t owe Faison any explanation; he doesn’t owe him anything. He says their days together are over, and calls him dad. This revelation is about as astounding as when George Michael came out.

Mac and Felicia take Maxie home. Maxie thinks about Christmas, and the stockings hanging on the mantel, including a tiny one for the baby. In her flashback, Nathan says, it’s perfect, and the prospect of being a father will turn him to mush. Mac suggests going to their place. There’s a knock at the door, and Amy gives him the bag of Nathan’s belongings. He thanks her. Mac starts to put them aside, and Maxie asks what he’s doing. He says there’s plenty of time to go through them, but she wants to do it now.

Peter asks Faison if he has any idea how exhausting it was, year after year, seeking his approval, and constantly being rebuffed. A light bulb finally came on, and he wondered why he was trying to be like him; he’s his own man. Faison says he’s a boy; scared, weak, and worthless. Tell him about the flash drive. Peter says that’s so him – slapping him with one hand, and asking for something with the other. Faison wonders why he wasn’t killed, and Peter says he had a bulletproof vest. Faison calls him a coward, saying he’s always been one. Peter says Faison always taught him to plan ahead. Faison says he’s so pathetic, he couldn’t even kill Jason. Peter asks, why kill a perfect assassin, when he can turn him loose on Faison? All he had to do was keep him contained until he was ready to see Faison die, get out of the way, and let Jason take his revenge. Faison says his perfect assassin didn’t take him out. Peter says he’s grateful. Now he gets to watch as Faison basks in the harsh reality of what he’s done. Faison asks if Peter means him, but he doesn’t. Nathan’s dead. He killed the wrong son.

Maxie takes out Nathan’s watch, saying he was always on time. Felicia says, unlike her. Maxie says he always told her that she was worth waiting for.

Nina tells Valentin that Nathan didn’t like him. He kept reminding her that Valentin broke her heart. Valentin says it’s his deepest regret. Nina says she told Nathan it didn’t matter, and he gave his blessing. He’d rather see her happy than be right. Valentin says he respected Nathan. Nina says he was the only good thing in that horrible family. The penthouse in New York was hell; like a hall of statues. Nothing was real; everything was fake, except Nathan. He was real, warm, and love. Everything about her hurts right now. She cries, and Valentin holds her, saying he’s not going anywhere.

Faison asks Peter if Nathan is really gone. Peter says, thanks to him. Faison says he didn’t get to know him. Peter says that’s the best part. He’s so old and frail, he didn’t recognize his own son before he pulled the trigger. Faison tells him to get out. Peter says, no; he’s waited a long time. All those years, Faison felt so superior, and treated him like dirt, kicking him around, when all the time he was playing him. He asks how it feels to be out maneuvered by the son he despised? Peter feels amazing. He has the ultimate leverage; he has the memories on the flash drive. Even better, he’s working for Sam and Drew, and they don’t realize. He thanks Faison for a beautiful set-up. Faison tells him again to get out, and struggles to sit up. The machines he’s hooked up to start beeping. Peter says, living well is the best revenge, and he’s living great; high in the catbird seat, spending Faison’s money. It should be enough, but it can’t be. The real revenge is knowing Faison killed the son he loved and wanted, while the one he rejected is alive and well. He wins, and Faison loses at his own twisted game. Faison reaches out, and Peter slaps his hand away. The machinery goes nuts.

Valentin suggests he and Nina go home, and cherish what they have. Nina says she loves him, and he says he loves her too.

Obrecht goes to Nathan’s empty room, and smiles. She remembers him calling her mother on Christmas, and thanks him.

Peter asks if Faison’s not feeling so hot. Faison tries to ring for help, but Peter grabs the buzzer away from him, saying he taught him better than that. He leaves as Faison reaches out.

Maxie looks through Nathan’s wallet. She finds a picture of the two of them. She takes out his badge next, and there’s a song part. She puts his wedding ring on her index finger. She takes out his jacket, and remembers giving him the sonogram picture, and him putting it in his pocket. She pulls it out, and it’s covered in blood. She cries, and Felicia and Mac hold her.

Geez, this was rough on several fronts.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Michael she found out something about Nelle, Jason says Faison is dead, and Doc gets what he came for.

If Loving You is Wrong

Eddie tells Larry to drive. Larry says way to avoid a crime is not going to next location. (Or, never go to crime scene number two, as Bo Dietl says) Eddie asks if Larry wants him to shoot him right here. Larry says, yeah, and Eddie makes like he’s going to do it. Larry tells him to get out of the car, and Eddie tazes him. He does it twice more, but Larry still won’t drive. Eddie knocks him out and into the passenger seat, and drives away.

There’s a crowd at Larry’s office regarding Travis, and he’s obviously not there. Ian tells the assistant the he’ll try to call him.

Eddie chains Larry up in a storage container, the same way he was trussed up at Randal’s house. He asks if this is the game Larry likes, and tells him to wake up.

The assistant says Larry asked for a press conference. Ian can’t find him. Lushion calls. He says he’s not doing good, and Ian says join the party. Lushion says the attorney isn’t calling him back. Ian tells Lushion that he did the best he could. Lushion says one minute he’s ready to help her, and the next, he’s not. Ian says Travis’s family is there, and wants a press conference now. Lushion asks Ian to call the lawyer. Ian agrees, and goes out to the mob scene.

Alex is folding laundry when Brad comes in. He says he’s going to the office for a while. She asks if he’s coming back for lunch, but he’s not sure. She asks if he’s coming back at all, and he says he is. She tells him she loves him, and she’s sorry. He says, okay. She says she’s really, really sorry. She didn’t go over to Randal’s house, and knows he doesn’t believe her. He says he’s done with it. Alex wonders if he means her, but he says he said it. She asks what she can do; she’ll do anything. He tells her not to talk to Randal anymore, and walk away if he tries to talk to her. She promises not to say anything to him. She tells Brad again that she loves him, and he says he loves her too.

Eddie smacks Larry awake. Larry laughs, and says Eddie’s had his fun; let him go. Eddie says he’s just getting started, but Larry says he has to get to the office. He asks what Eddie hit him with. Eddie says his gun, but Larry’s kinky ass has probably been hit with worse. Larry says he didn’t do anything to him. Eddie says he was chained and humiliated, but Larry claims to have passed out. Eddie asks what he did, and Larry says dress him up; it was just for kicks. Eddie punches him. Larry tells Eddie to let him go, and they’ll call it even. Eddie says his girlfriend took pictures, and the whole department knows. He knocks Larry around. Larry yells for help, but they’re in the middle of the woods.

Esperanza visits Kelly in her cell. She’s sure it has to be tough, and Kelly says she has no idea. She’s trying to positive, and Esperanza tells her to fight for it and maintain her composure. Kelly says all she can think about is Justice, but Esperanza says they’re all taking care of him; he’s fine. Kelly thanks her. She still hasn’t heard from Lushion or the lawyer. Esperanza says she’ll check. Kelly says she needs to get out of there. She tells Esperanza that these people have done horrible things, and Esperanza promises they’ll figure it out. Kelly thinks Esperanza is looking at her weird. She knows what she did was wrong. Esperanza warns her not to talk in there, and says she’s on Kelly’s side. Kelly tells her to see how Justice is acting; he acts out when he’s stressed, and please go easy on him. Esperanza asks if she needs anything, and Kelly says, out of here. Esperanza says it’s coming.

Brad is leaving for work, and Randal asks if he’s been served; the lawsuit is coming. Brad says good, and to get the ladder, so he can kick him off of it again. Randal says he’s going to own Brad’s house and him. He already owned his wife. Brad says he’s owning Randal’s wife right now, and their baby is going to be a star. He’s a strong kicker, like how Brad kicked Randal off the ladder. Randal walks away. Brad says he can’t handle it when the tables are turned. Randal says he’s turned a few with Brad’s wife. He repeats the lawsuit is coming, and Brad says he’s looking forward to it. Randal goes back home, and Brad gets in the car.

Esperanza goes to see Lushion. She says she just saw Kelly. She’s concerned about the lawyer, and she asks what’s happening. Lushion is still trying to get him. Esperanza says it’s serious, and Lushion says he’s supposed to call. She says Travis’s family knows everybody. He asks what she’s suggesting, and she wonders if it’s a legit referral. They represent Travis’s family. Lushion doesn’t think Ian is like that; he’s known him for years. Esperanza says he seems confident, but she isn’t. They don’t have that much time. Lushion says the lawyer has been in court. Esperanza asks which one, and he asks if she’s playing investigator. She says he has his hands full, and she wants to help. He says not that full, but she’s worried about her… their friend. She could get life in prison. She says the mother is talking about how Kelly wouldn’t leave Travis alone. They’re all crying on TV, and very convincing. Lushion says she’s lying. Esperanza says perception is reality, and she doesn’t look like she’s lying. They know Kelly, but she’s being made to look like a different person. Lushion says he’ll make some more calls. He also thinks Esperanza should stop fraternizing at work. Things with Eddie went bad, and she still has to see him. She asks what he’s saying, that Stephen isn’t a good guy? Lushion says he’s a great guy. In the beginning it’s all great, but then things change. She should know the rules before she starts. Esperanza says Stephen told him, but Lushion says she did. She says nothing is going on. He tells her that her face is priceless, and she should tell it to someone else.

Alex walks the baby. Randal pops out. She says, touch the stroller, and he’ll regret it. She tells him to get away from her house. He wants to see the baby, and she says he’s not hearing her. He won’t move, and she says, fine, and reverses direction. He touches her arm, and she tells him not to touch her. He says she used to like it, and she slaps him. He laughs, and tells her do it again. He follows her, and she tells him to leave her alone. Natalie comes out, and Randal tells her to get her ghetto ass out of the conversation. She says she cut him once, and asks if he’d like a piece of hot lead to go with it. He touches her arm, and she falls on the ground, and starts flailing around and yelling. He says he didn’t touch her, but then runs away. Natalie asks where he’s going. I love Natalie.

She tells Alex that she has to do something about him. Alex doesn’t know what. Natalie says to get rid of someone crazy, act crazier, and suggests Alex set him up. Alex says she and Brad are trying to do something, but Natalie says she started it, so it’s up to her. Alex says Brad is back, but Randal isn’t making it easy. Alex apologizes, saying she shouldn’t have let Randal think the baby was Lushion’s. Natalie says she’s not mad. If she was, she wouldn’t be standing there now. Alex thanks her. Natalie says if she hears nothing else, hear this – she needs to do something about Randal. Alex doesn’t know what to do, and Natalie tells her to think about it. Alex asks about Kelly, and Natalie says she’s not good. Alex tells her if she can do anything, let her know. She’s glad Natalie is in the neighborhood. Natalie walks her back home, and invites herself in for a drink.

Marcie is on the phone with Esperanza as she meets Ian for dinner. She tells him she was talking about Kelly, and asks why he’s not representing her? He says Larry is representing Travis’s family. Marcie says, it’s so wrong, and he says, we’re lawyers what do you expect? He knows Kelly is a decent person, and she’s innocent; he spoke to her. Marcie says she’s good at reading people, and there’s something he’s not saying. She thinks he has a heart, and that makes it hard for some lawyers. He asks what she reads. She says he’s complicated and tries to act tough, but he’s a softie. She wonders how he knows Kelly is innocent, but he says she was his client and he can’t talk about her. Marcie says it doesn’t feel right sitting there, while Kelly is in a cell. She sees Stephen, and realizes Esperanza is with him. She tells Ian she’ll be right back.

Marcie says Esperanza told her that she was at work. Esperanza says her mind is all over the place, and introduces Stephen. Marcie explains she’s having dinner with a client who just bought a house. Stephen says they’ve met, and she says he looks different out of his work clothes. Esperanza says they’re just having an after-work drink. Marcie points out that she’s not dressed for work, and Esperanza says she had a change of clothes in her car. Marcie goes back to Ian.

Esperanza tells Stephen the town is so small. Now, all the girls will know. He asks if he embarrasses her, and she says no; she just doesn’t want them in her business. He says they’re adults, and allowed to have business, so let it go. She says they talk to Eddie, but he says no one talks to Eddie. He tells her to let him worry about it, but he gets it; she likes being in control. They talk about ordering, and Esperanza says she doesn’t drink much. Stephen says the last time they were together, she took the bottle like a champ. She says sometimes she needs liquid courage, and he wonders why with him? She says it came out of nowhere and happened fast. He asks if she’s enjoying it, and she says, let’s jut order. He tells her to relax. She orders tequila shots, and he says, so much for not drinking.

Alex rocks the nameless baby, and puts him in the crib. She hears Randal cackling and playing music outside. She jets out, and tells him to turn it down. He laughs, and she says she’s tired of him, spraying his car with the hose. He tells her to get her ass back in the house, but instead, she gets in the car. He pulls her out, and she tells him that he’s awful. Why did he tell Brad that she came over? He says because she did, but she says, no, she didn’t. Why is he doing this? Doesn’t he have any conscience? He’s surprised she didn’t know that already. He tells her that Brad and Marcie are having a baby, but Alex says they aren’t. Randal asks if she didn’t know Marcie was pregnant. She did, but says it’s not his. Randal asks who’s is it? She tells him to stop this. He asks again, and she says it’s his. I shake my head. She tells him to check the calendar, harass Marcie, and leave them alone. He asks if it’s his kid, and she asks if he didn’t hear her. Randal thinks she’s messing with him, but Alex says she doesn’t want to mess with him again.

Brad comes by, sees them, and speeds off. Randal laughs, and says, he gone.

Next time, Lushion asks Ian what happened, Larry says Eddie could kill him, and Justice asks Valerie if his mother killed Travis.

🍷 I also watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Reunion Secrets Revealed, and it was a lot of fun. These Secrets Revealed shows often have the best clips, or at least the ones where the women are having the most fun with each other. God forbid we should see that on the actual show. Two of the best scenes were a Latin dancing lesson, and Marty asking Danielle to marry him. I guess this makes number twenty? As Teresa said, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs. We also saw Siggy getting along with the Marge. Too bad she couldn’t sustain that, and ended up being batsh*t crazy.

GH-Nathan

RIP Assman Landers Nathan

Jan30

January 29, 2018 – MetroCourt Aftermath, Jax is Cornered, Still Summering & a Bit of Film

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Dante and Sonny go to Spoon Island. Sonny smells gas. Dante breaks down the door at the stables, but no Lulu or Obrecht. They see the gas can, and Sonny says it has to be Faison. Dante thinks a gas can in an empty room is odd, and wonders where he took Lulu.

Carly asks Jason, what if Faison dies? Jason says, at least he’ll be dead. He won’t get answers, but he saw how terrified Anna was, and says Faison has wreaked havoc in so many lives, it has to stop. Carly says she would want answers, but Jason says it wouldn’t change anything. It won’t return the time he lost. She asks if he doesn’t care, but he says if Faison dies before telling him, there’s someone else who knows.

Anna waits in the park for Henrik, saying she can help him. Peter arrives. She draws her gun. She asks who’s there, and if it’s Henrik.

Finn works on Faison. Griff tells Maxie the bullet is lodged against Nathan’s spinal column. She asks when they’re operating, and Griff says when he’s stabilized. Maxie freaks, and Bobbie tells her to let them do their work, and pray – it really does make a difference.

Amy says the blood bank is running low, and tells Nathan to stay with her. Both Nathan and Faison flatline. Griff does CPR on Nathan.

Valentin and Nina are back at Windemere. Valentin makes a fire. Just as they start to get cozy (or hygge, as we say now), there’s a knock at the door. Dante says, it’s the police. Nina says they’ve only been back ten minutes, and already they’re being harassed. Dante asks if Lulu is there. Nina says they just got back, and Valentin asks what’s going on? Dante says Lulu disappeared, and they think she was there looking for Faison.

Griff uses the defibrillator on Nathan. Both patients are revived. Griff tells Maxie they got him back, and they’ll operate as soon as he’s stable. Finn goes by, wheeling Faison on a gurney. Maxie wonders what’s up with that, and Finn says he needs surgery. Maxie wants to know why he’s going in first. Bobbie says there’s an OR room prepped and waiting for Nathan as soon as he’s stable. Griff tells her that if they want the best chance of Nathan’s survival and full mobility, they have to wait. Maxie insists he’ll be fine.

Anna says she doesn’t mean Henrik any harm. They share a common enemy – Faison. He’s hurt both of them, and she thinks she can help him. Jason shows up, and Peter jets without revealing himself. Anna tells Jason that someone was there, but they’re gone. She asks what happened at the MetroCourt, and Jason brings her up to speed. She asks if he killed Faison, but Jason says he’s still alive. He was taken to GH. She asks if he’s going to live, and Jason tells her that’s up to the doctors. I would say it’s up to God, or at the very least, the skill of the doctors, but I’ll let it pass.

At the hospital, Jordan asks if there’s any word. Maxie says whoever shot Faison did less damage than was done to Nathan. Jordan tells her that Jason shot him when he tried to hold Carly hostage. Maxie wants to know why Jason didn’t kill him. She has no compassion for Faison, the same way he had none for those he’s hurt. Nathan is wheeled past, and Maxie tells Griff to wait a second. She tells Nathan that she and the baby will be waiting when he pulls through, and to hang in for them. Griff says, gotta go, and she tells him she knows he and Nathan have their own history. I had to think about that for a minute. It was with Claudette, in case you forgot, and Nathan once shot Griff. She asks him to promise not to let it affect things, and to save Nathan. Griff promises he’ll do everything he can. I’m laughing because for someone who wanted Nathan in surgery so quickly, Maxie is the one holding it up.

Dante tells Nina and Valentin that Faison is in Port Charles, and they think he was hiding there. Valentin says they were on vacation. He could have moved in, and they would have had no idea. Sonny says they think Lulu was in the stables. They found an empty cannister, but no sign of her. Dante tells them that she was following a lead. Nina says Lulu has been a journalist all of two weeks, and now took it upon herself to search for the world’s most wanted criminal. Like what she did with Nathan, pulling him in to the interview. Sonny asks if any tunnels lead to the stables. Valentin opens a secret door (I love a secret door!), and Lulu runs to Dante. Obrecht walks past her, saying hello to Nina like nothing weird is happening. I love Obrecht.

Jordan asks Maxie what happened. Maxie says it’s blurry, and everything happened fast. There was a problem at Crimson, so she went to the office, taking Shane with her. They went to Nina’s office, and Peter was sitting there with a strange look on his face. She heard a thud, and turned around to find that Faison had knocked the officer out. When he asked Peter to move the body, Peter got Shane’s gun, but Faison shot him. Jordan is surprised Peter got shot. Maxie says she saw it, and thought he’d been hit, but he wasn’t. After Faison shot Nathan, Peter went after him. Jordan asks if Peter shot at Faison, but Maxie was focused on Nathan. Peter called 911, and helped her. Bobbie suggests they take a break.

Peter goes back to the MetroCourt. Carly tells him that the public areas and the offices are still sealed until the police get things figured out. Peter wants to get his iPad, and Carly is mystified that he wants to work. Maybe he wants to play Neopets. How does she know? She thinks he’s probably still in shock. Carly thanks him for the tip about Lulu, and he says he hopes they find her. Carly asks where he went, and his phone rings. It’s Jordan. She asks if he’s okay, and tells him she needs him to come to the station.

Anna asks Jason what happened with the cops, and he says they let him go, but he has to make a statement later. The security footage will back him up though. Anna wishes he’d killed Faison, and tells him not to tell Robin she said that. She’s tried to be honorable and principled for her, but hasn’t always been that way. It’s how Faison got to her in the first place. If she’d really wanted to be the good person she should be for Robin, she can’t put a bullet in his head the way she’s dreamt of doing. So she’s undertaken half-measures, like putting him in the pit, and he always comes back. Jason says, not this time. One way or the other, he has to die. Anna says she’ll pretend she didn’t hear that. The same way she’ll pretend to be surprised if he follows through. She’s going to the hospital in the hopes that maybe Faison is drugged up enough to tell the truth. Jason says there’s something she should know. Before he took Carly hostage, he shot Nathan. That was the disturbance at the MetroCourt. Anna says, his son?  

Dante asks Lulu how she got out. She tells him about finding the passageway, but by the time they made it to the tunnels, it was pitch black. Obrecht woke up enough to remember where the opening was. She tells Dante he was late, and she couldn’t just wait around. Sonny says the cannister seemed pretty old, and Lulu says Obrecht didn’t think the gas would be as potent after all this time. Faison left to go after Nathan, and Dante explains that Nathan was badly wounded. She asks if Carly is okay, and Sonny says she was just shaken up. Sonny leaves for the hotel, and Dante goes back to work. Nina says good thing they got home early. She wonders who’s watching Charlotte, and Lulu says she’s with Dante’s mother. Valentin says next time she decides to go on a tear, to let them know. Lulu thinks it was a good thing Charlotte was with Olivia with Faison lurking around. She says it’s interesting timing that they leave just as Faison needs a place to hide. Oh Lulu, drop it.

At the hospital, Anna finds out about Nathan and Faison. Jason leaves to talk to Maxie. Finn thought Anna might have been the one who shot Faison, but she says she was pursuing another angle. He tells her that she doesn’t have to act like it’s not difficult. She says it’s her job to deal with him, the same way his job is to treat him. Finn says, like it or not, and leaves to check on something.

Anna looks at Faison through the window of his room.

At the station, Peter isn’t sure what he can tell Jordan. He was dropping something off at Crimson, when Faison showed up. He didn’t seem interested in Peter, and told him to stay where he was. Then Maxie and her guard arrived. Jordan gets a call from Dante, who tells her that Obrecht and Lulu are safe. She tells him there’s something he needs to know about Nathan. Lulu sees Dante’s face, and asks, what is it?

Maxie wishes Jason had gotten to Faison before he got to Nathan. She tells Jason that Faison is out of surgery. He went in first, but she doesn’t think he was hurt as badly, and it’s not fair. He should be the one hurting, not Nathan. Jason says he’s sorry it happened this way, but at least he’s been stopped. Maxie asks if he’s sure, and Jason tells her that he’s going to make sure.

Anna stands over Faison. He opens his eyes. She says, oh good, he’s awake. She tells him they need to talk.

Sonny tells Carly about what happened on Spoon Island. He says it’s lucky Faison didn’t shoot her, like he did Nathan. She says if Lucas hadn’t been there, Nathan wouldn’t have made it; he’s in surgery now. Sonny asks about Maxie, and Carly says she’s trying to stay positive. Sonny wonders why Faison went to Crimson.

Maxie asks how many times Jason has been shot, and he says, a few. She wonders if it helps to have people who love you there. Can it be felt, or is that just something people in the waiting room tell themselves? He says he could feel it, and thinks Nathan can too. Maxie knows he wouldn’t say it out of politeness, so she’s sure he means it. He has Something to take care of, but tells her if there’s anything he can do, let him know. She asks him to make sure Faison never hurts anyone the way he hurt Nathan again.

Obrecht comes in to the hospital, and wants to assist in surgery. Bobbie says she can’t; she’s Nathan’s mother. Obrecht says no one cares more about him, but Nina tells her to let them do their jobs. Bobbie takes Obrecht to find out what’s going on, and Nina asks Maxie how she and the baby are doing. Maxie says, Nathan saved us; he’ll be fine.

Peter tells Jordan that Faison knocked Shane out, and told him to get Shane out of the way. He grabbed Shane’s gun, but before he could fire, Faison took a shot at him. He dove to the ground, and thinks he must have hit his head. He doesn’t remember anything until hearing Maxie screaming. He took the gun and aimed, but Faison ran. Jordan asks if he fired, but he doesn’t remember; it happened so fast, he’s not sure. Jordan says they can check the gun, and asks what made him think to pick it up? which is about the stupidest question ever. Peter says Faison was talking about taking Maxie, since she was carrying his grandchild. Jordan thinks it was a miracle Peter wasn’t shot. Dante and Lulu walk in, and Dante tells Peter that if Nathan dies, his blood is on Peter’s hands. Huh?

Faison asks Anna how Nathan is, and she says, fighting for his life. Faison says, the wrong one, and Anna asks if he’s talking about Henrik. He asks what she knows about Henrik, and she says, nothing. She just found out about him, which is surprising, considering the number of years Faison has tormented her. She asks if he tortured Henrik too, and if Henrik turned on him. It’s what he does to everyone. He says it wasn’t like that. It was never his fault. She asks whose fault it was, and he says, the Cassadines.

Orderly Neil tells Maxie he’s sorry her husband was injured. She says he wasn’t injured; he was shot. He knows it’s a difficult time, but decisions have to be made. They don’t know if Nathan is an organ donor. Maxie says, yes, but it doesn’t matter; he’s going to be fine. Does Neil know something she doesn’t? He says they just need to be prepared, but Maxie says, no; he’ll get through it. He’ll be there when the baby is born, and they’ll live long and happy lives. Bobbie tells Neil she’ll take over from here. Neil hopes Nathan pulls through. Maxie says Nathan has been shot twice and pulled through. Nothing will be different this time. Bobbie asks if Maxie wants her to call her parents, and Maxie says that would be nice. Tell them it’s serious, but he’ll be fine.

Carly tells Sonny there will be a lot of comped hotel bills, and he says Faison is the gift that keeps on giving. Ha-ha! She says Lulu practically dared him to come after Nathan; he must have been after Maxie. They can’t think of anyone else at Crimson who would matter to him.

Dante says Peter put this in motion, and for what? Money? Peter doesn’t get how Dante is blaming him, but Dante says he wanted the interview. Lulu could have been killed because of him. Lulu says she knows he’s worried, but Peter didn’t make her do anything. If anyone is to blame, it’s her. Jordan says, it’s been a long night, and asks Peter to make himself available in case there are more questions. Peter tells Dante for what it’s worth, he hopes Nathan pulls through (the phrase of the day).

Anna asks what Faison is talking about; what Cassadine? How are they connected? Finn comes in, and asks Anna what she’s doing. She says Faison has answers, but Finn says he won’t be much use if he’s dead. Anna tells him that she was told he was stable. Finn says that doesn’t mean she can wrestle with him. As soon as he’s in a regular room, she can question him, but bring someone with her. She says she can handle him, but Finn says she’s not hearing him. The maximum damage was done without killing him, and she needs to bring a witness. If he dies while she’s questioning him, no one will say she did it.

Jason looks through the window at Faison, and goes into his room. Don’t you dare, Jason. Although no one ever really dies on this show. Helena has been dead for years, and she’s still on recurring status.

Sonny says if Faison was going after Maxie, why not go to her apartment? Why go to where it’s complicated to get out, there are cameras, and potential witnesses? Carly says he’s arrogant. Sonny says he might be arrogant, but he’s also a professional. Why take the risk when there’s an easier alternative? What else would he want? That’s what worries him. Neither one of them has any idea.

Dante asks what Nathan’s chances are, and Jordan says it’s too soon to tell. Maxie and the baby were unharmed, but Nathan was shot in front of her. She’s holding it together, and they got a pretty coherent account. She tells him there’s a stray bullet at the office that needs to be bagged. It missed Peter.

Peter goes to the park, and looks in a garbage can. He finds a bulletproof vest, with a bullet lodged in it. He takes out the bullet, puts the vest back in the can, and sets it on fire.

Finn asks Anna what Faison said. She tells him the missing son is connected to the Cassadines. Finn asks if she didn’t tell him that Faison worked with Helena.

Jason stands over Faison. They look at each other.

Maxie wonders what’s taking so long. Nina says it’s complex surgery, and will take a while. Obrecht says it’s all her fault. She shouldn’t have claimed him as her son. Maxie says, don’t. She’s his mother, and he loves her. He’ll want to see her when he wakes up. She takes Obrecht’s hand, and Obrecht says, thank you, daughter. Maxie takes Nina’s hand with her other one. Valentin looks at them sadly. Griff comes out. Maxie asks if Nathan is okay.

Tomorrow, Finn says let’s see where this goes, Peter tells Drew and Sam to own the story, and Jason questions Faison.

Vanderpump Rules

Jax tells Brittany’s mother it’s good to see her, but I doubt he really feels that way. In her interview, Kristen says Brittany is way too good for Jax, and wants to break them up. Jax ditches the room. Brittany tells her mom she’s doing okay, but she’s still heartbroken, and it’s not going to go away. Sherri isn’t sure he’s the right one for her. Brittany says she knows that. GO…NOW!

Katie meets Lala for lunch. In her interview, Katie says they don’t have the best track record, but they’ve squashed their beef, and are spending one-on-one time together. She tells Lala it’s 100% good on her end. Lala says she forgives and forgets, and she’s trying to find her place in the group. She tells Katie that Scheana is upset with her, and it’s sad seeing them in a bad place. Katie says she has no issues with Scheana, and she’s the one who keeps bringing up the Rob rumor. Lala is all about female empowerment, and wants them all to get along. Lala has certainly redeemed herself from the last season she was on. Lisa Vanderpump does another miracle. Only one more to go before sainthood.

Lisa arrives at SUR. She asks Peter for a shot of something I’ve never heard of. In his interview, he says in the nine years he’s worked for her, it’s been either rosé or pinot noir, and he’s stunned. He invites her to his birthday party, and gives her the shot. She hands it back to him, tells him happy birthday, and asks for a cup of tea.

Scheana asks Lala how lunch was. Lala says Katie was cool, didn’t say a bad word about Scheana, and swears she hasn’t been talking about Rob at all. In her interview, Lala says the feud started with her, but she feels like it’s their job as women to get past it and forgive. Scheana says she’s practically having panic attacks over it. Please.

It’s time for Peter’s birthday party. Ariana tells us that in the past, Peter has only had dudes at his birthday parties. This is a first for the chicks. Kristen says she has another surprise coming for Jax. I can’t wait. Jax tells James that Kristen is behind Brittany’s mother visiting. Her sister, Tiffany, walks in. I guess that’s Kristen’s other surprise. Jax wonders if her grandmother and father are showing up next. Brittany tells her sister what’s been happening. Tiffany says she likes Jax, but if he’s going to cheat on Brittany, he should go. We flash back to Tiffany and Jax not getting along very well in Kentucky. Brittany says it should be interesting.

Lisa graces everyone with her presence. Jax tries to be friendly. Everyone drinks continuous shots. Stassi says Patrick is in Amsterdam. He decided to take a trip without her because he’s an enormous jerk. Peter is the only ex she doesn’t fantasize about murdering, so she doesn’t mind doting on him tonight. He takes a bite of his cake directly from the cake.

Lisa sits with Brittany’s mom, who says she’s devastated. She doesn’t want Brittany with Jax anymore unless there’s a big change.

Brittany tells Jax it’s an amazing day. He needs to make it up to her mother and sister. If she matters at all, he’ll put in the effort to make them okay with her family. Their opinion means everything to her. If he can’t do that, he can’t be with her.

Lala is concerned about being the main source of what happened between Katie and Scheana. She tells Scheana how much she loves her, and James butts in. Scheana snarks at Kristen, and Lala screeches, enough! She’s over it. She tells Scheana that she’s done with everyone blaming each other. They need to have a united f-ing front as women. Stassi thinks it’s terrifying, but oddly beautiful, to watch Lala lose her sh*t. In her interview, Scheana says Katie has always been a bitch. Last year, she used her wedding as an excuse, and now she’s cozying up to Lala, and she won’t have it. She calls them fake, and Schwartz says she’s the fakest of the fake. Scheana says at least he’s being a man for once, and he calls her a bougie Kardashian, who’s fake from head to toe. All she cares about are selfies. She says all he cares about is making out with chicks in bars. Lisa tells Sherri that she feels like they’re in the cheap seats, making Sherri laugh. Scheana says that she wants to spare Lala her fate, and the girls “got in her head” last year. In her interview, Ariana thinks Scheana is being genuine, and that Katie is trying to redeem herself. If she gives Katie the benefit of the doubt. Which she doesn’t. Lala says Scheana may have PTSD – after finally getting the letters straight – but she’s stuck with her. I have no idea what these drunk people are even talking about at this point. What happened to just drinking and dancing?

James and Lala play tennis. She says her man likes to play tennis, and he’s good, so she’s taking lessons. James asks if she talked to Katie. Lala feels like a lot was going on. She asks if James thinks Scheana is being antagonized. She tried, and if they want to go to war, she’s washing her hands. She calls the whole thing a circus.

Jax comes bearing food for the women in his life. Brittany is making him work. Sherri says the butler needs to get them some better food. She wants to talk to Jax, but he stalls. In his interview, he’s thinking of going to Canada, but then realizes he has a felony.

Lala asks about Logan. She thinks he wishes James was gay; he has mad love for him. James slips, calling Logan his girlfriend. He thinks Logan needs to find a boyfriend, although he does admit, what’s not to love about himself? How long does he have?

Tiffany tells them that Logan told her that he’s sleeping with James, and called Raquel stupid. Jax thinks maybe it’s true. Brittany says James is going to freak when he finds out.

During downtime at SUR, Schwartz tells Lisa he was out of line and disrespectful to Scheana at Peter’s party. Lisa wonders why he’s telling her, and he thought she’d like that he stood up for Katie. He says Katie has changed and matured so much. Katie joins them, saying he’s being a good husband. Scheana doesn’t understand how she and Lala can be friends, and is giving her grief. In his interview, Schwarz says the hypocrisy was too much, with Scheana calling Katie fake. In her interview, Lisa says she’s not as much of a pushover as Sherri, but Jax will do anything to get over.

The guys join Guillermo at the gym. Tom says people sometimes challenge him to a jump rope off. He doesn’t know what that’s about, but he’s never lost. Jax punches the bag. They sit outside afterward. James says he heard about Kristen flying Brittany’s mother out. In his interview, James thinks Kristen is the same crazy bitch she always was. Jax tells him about Logan crying to Tiffany, saying he and James are hooking up. James doesn’t believe it, but Jax wonders why she’d say that if it wasn’t true. In his interview, Schwartz says there’s a 77% chance. James asks if he thinks there’s any truth to it, and Jax says it’s none of his business.

Stassi and Kristen go to SUR for dinner. Kristen feels like she’s on a date. Brittany thanks Kristen. She tells Lala about what Logan told her sister. Lala thanks Logan wants more, and James wants people to find him hot. Kristen doesn’t think he wants to date guys, but has definitely taken a dip in the penis pond. This isn’t of concern, but James cheating on his girlfriend is.

James and Raquel go to a wine making/tasting. James says he feels weird, and Raquel is uncomfortable. James says he lets a lot slide, but Logan can’t disrespect his girlfriend. He says it’s not true, but Raquel says that’s not the problem; it’s the girls she worries about. He says the whole world wants to have sex with him. Must be the whole world minus one, because I don’t.

Jax takes Tiffany and Sherri out to dinner. He hopes they’re enjoying their time. He was blindsided, but he’s happy Kristen brought them. In his interview, He says Kristen wants to burn his relationship to the ground, and has a weird obsession. Sherri asks if it was just a one-time thing, and he claims it was just the act; he doesn’t really care about anyone else. He tells her that he’s had a lot of issues, and gone down bad roads. He was frustrated with Brittany’s lack of motivation. Sherri thinks Brittany does a lot for him, and wonders what he does with his time. He’s like, details, details, skipping right over that question, and says he doesn’t do things to hurt people. He’s not happy with himself. He’s a selfish, terrible person. Well, he got that right. Sherri says she’s seen good things in him, like what he did for her son. We flash back to when he donated money toward the making-a-baby cause in Kentucky. Sherri says she’ll give him a second chance, and she loves him. She’s believing in him. In his interview, he tells Kristen to suck it. I’m so disappointed.

James is coming by Jax and Brittany’s place. Jax doesn’t want to get any more involved in James’s sex scandal with Logan, so he jets. Brittany asks her mother how dinner went. Sherri thinks Jax is dissatisfied with himself, and told them he’s a terrible person. She’s willing to give him a second chance, but they agree to support Brittany, whatever her decision. James arrives. Tiffany tells him about what Logan told her, and that he said Raquel is an idiot. James tells them not to say anything, and calls Logan. Logan tells James that he said it, but it’s a lie. It was just him being a bitch and in love with him. James wonders how they can be friends, calls him a piece of sh*t, and hangs up. James says he wasn’t a true friend, and starts crying. He leaves, and Tiffany says she feels badly for Logan, since he’s obviously in love with James.

Jax returns. In his interview, he says it sounds like James put on quite a performance. Although I’m no fan of James, I don’t think he’s insincere, just highly emotional. It’s time for Sherri and Tiffany to leave. Brittany is glad they came. It made her feel better about her decision to stay with Jax. All three of them are crazy. Jax packs Sherri and Tiffany into a car, and the two of them head to the airport. In his interview, he says everything is perfect. He has his girl and a cold case of beer in the fridge; the end. Brittany says she’s exhausted.

Next time, a fire at SUR, Schwartz’s triplet brothers visit, Katie cries to Lisa, and Jax meets with the Reiki instructor. That didn’t take long.

🌞 Re Summer House. This group’s idea of fun just boggles my mind. These are grown people with decent jobs who, no doubt, spent a bundle to rent a fabulous house in the Hamptons for the summer. They drink to the point of blacking out and making out with people they don’t even like, tear stuff up, have food fights, and immature, dramatic arguments over they don’t even know what. News flash: letting your freak flag fly doesn’t mean doing Jell=O shots and smushing a cake into someone’s face. After I started watching Vanderpump Rules, the difference in the behavior of my friends and I at that age was so vast, I thought maybe it was an East Coast/West Coast thing, but this is the East Coast (despite one of the girls sounding exactly like a Kardashian). So what the blip? It’s like Jersey Shore (which, I assure you, is nothing like the Jersey Shore) got plopped into Long Island. And why am I still watching it? That’s a good question. Horrible fascination? Speaking of East Coast/West Coast…

🎧 I watched All Eyez on Me over the weekend, and it wasn’t bad. I’ve been interested in rap and hip-hop since its inception (except don’t get me started about how Gilbert and Sullivan – two older gay white guys – were the ones who really invented rap with the patter song in the 1800s), so I love the music of that time period. The story was really nothing we didn’t know already, although I understand a few people weren’t too happy with it – namely, Jada Pinkett Smith – but I wasn’t there, so who knows? Danai Gurira (Michonne, The Walking Dead) did a nice turn as Tupac’s mother, even though she looked young enough to be his date. The main thing for me was the music, and it was on point. Also impressive was the casting. It was amazing how much these actors looked and sounded like the people they were portraying. I wonder if Demetrius Shipp Jr. is the reason the rumor of Tupac still being alive, is still alive.

🎥 I also watched A Cure for Wellness, which I’d like to rename What the Hell was That? and Rough Night, which is like Weekend at Bernie’s with chicks, and not as funny.

💭 Just Because…

AnimalHouseBluto

TuesdayJump

Jan23

January 22, 2017 – A Disagreement Between Sonny and Anna, Pride Day at SUR, Summer House Returns & It’s Suppertime

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jason ponders on the footbridge, and flashes back to New Year’s Eve with Sam.

Sam looks out on her balcony, and flashes back to talking to Jason on the docks, and telling him that she loves Drew. Molly and Alexis arrive. Alexis asks if she’s ready to get married.

Curtis and Jordan join Drew. Curtis says the justice of the peace should be there soon, and to enjoy his last single moments. He’s getting ready to be married for real this time.

Carly tells Bobbie that she should have given Josslyn more credit. Bobbie says sometimes it feels good to be wrong. Carly is relieved about Josslyn, but says too bad she can’t say the same for Michael.

Michael meets Nelle at the hospital, but missed the prenatal appointment, but Nelle shows him the sonogram; the first picture of their baby.

Sonny tells Anna that Faison knows Heinrich is gunning for him. They have to use Heinrich as bait. Anna says they can’t exploit him like that. if Sonny orchestrates a meeting, he’ll start a war, and they don’t know who will get caught in the crossfire.

Faison caresses an unconscious Obrecht’s face.

At the MetroCourt, Laura wants to talk to Lulu. Lulu thinks Laura wants her to take a step back from reporting, and reevaluate things, but Laura knows better than to try talking her out of something she wants to do. Saving the world is genetic. Ned approaches their table, and apologizes to Laura about how quickly the race got nasty; it wasn’t his intention. He says his problem is with Julian, not her or Alexis. He guarantees a clean, fair fight, and a race they can be proud of.  Laura tells him that he didn’t have to apologize. She appreciates the gesture, but it’s wasted on her. She’s dropping out of the race.

Anna says Faison wouldn’t hesitate to kill his own son, and Sonny tells her that she says that like it’s a problem. Anna says they don’t know him; he could be an innocent, which would explain why he allowed Jason to live. Sonny says he paid several thugs to bring him back to Russia, and along the way, they shot up the MetroCourt and took Sam hostage. He asks if that sounds innocent. Anna says if he died, any chance of Jason’s questions being answered or Drew getting his memory back will be over.

Drew tells Curtis he doesn’t think they can squeeze in a bachelor party. Curtis says it’s tradition for the groomsmen and groom to share a drink before the ceremony, and pulls out a bottle. Monica arrives.

Spinelli finds Jason. He says there’s still time. Sam is marrying Drew, and he has to stop it.

Jordan gets a work call, and it’s something she has to check on personally. She tells Drew sorry, congratulations, and give Sam her best. Drew tells Monica that he appreciates her being there; it means a lot that’s she’s stood by him. She says she wouldn’t miss it. He’s Alan’s son, and she wishes she’d known him and raised him like she did Jason, but since that didn’t happen, she’d like to adopt him. He laughs, and says they missed that boat. She says it’s just a formality, but makes him and Scout legally part of the family. They may not know the next chapter, but he’ll always be part of the Quartermaines. Monica is looking really good. For a while, she had too many fillers in her face going on, but whatever she’s doing now, keep doing it.

Nelle tells Michael that they have a beautiful, healthy baby. Michael asks if she knows if it’s a boy or girl, but she says she wanted them to find out together. He says it’s her body, but she tells him it’s their baby, and she wants him to be involved in every step of process. She says the baby’s heartbeat was loud and strong. He can hear it at the next appointment. Carly and Bobbie join them.

Anna tells Sonny that she doesn’t think there’s a reason to involve Heinrich. She knows how to bring Faison out in the open. He’s obsessed with her, and it clouds his judgement and allows her to control things. It would also help if she had no surprises. With that in mind, has Sonny made contact? Sonny says he has the email address for PK Sinclair. If that’s Heinrich, then yes. He shows her the email exchange, and she tells him if PK emails again, don’t respond. Call her and they’ll figure out a plan. He says he doesn’t think he can do that.

Spinelli says Jason might still make it, but Jason says he’s not interrupting the wedding. Sam wants this, and loves Drew. Spinelli asks if he’s told her that he loves her, but he says that would make it hard on her. Spinelli says it would take an act of tremendous courage, but even if he doesn’t do it for himself, he needs to save Sam from making a mistake that will only bring her grief.

Curtis brings in the justice of the peace. The wedding begins. Molly walks in first, followed by Sam, wearing a white, cocktail length, lacy confection. Danny is the ringbearer. They stand before the officiant.

Anna tells Sonny it’s not a suggestion. Sonny doesn’t want trouble with her. She might be cop, but she’s Robin’s mother. She’s brave and honorable, and doesn’t deserve the hell Faison put her through. If he could back away, he would, but if Heinrich is his best shot, he’s taking it. If he calls, Sonny is using him, with or without her permission. She says she’ll see herself out. Outside, she calls Robert, telling him that she needs him to intercept some email messages, and divert them to her account. She tells him to make sure there’s no trace of the original address.

Carly asks why Michael and Nelle are at the hospital, since she’s too stupid to guess. Nelle says it was her first ultrasound, and gives her the picture. Michael says there’s no question he’s the father. Carly says she’s happy for him. Bobbie wants to look at the paternity test results, and Nelle tells her to get them from Michael, since she had them sent directly to his office. She adds that the baby is healthy, thanks for asking. She leaves, and Michael thanks them for being mostly civil. Bobbie thought they did pretty well. Carly says this is real and happening, and she supports him and the baby. They hug, and Michael goes to work or whatever he does.

Ned is surprised Laura is dropping out. Lulu says she had it in the bag, no offense to Ned. Laura says her family has to take precedence. Spencer had bad skiing accident in France, breaking both legs, and she has to go. She has the time and means right now, and hopes Lulu understands. She does, but she’s disappointed; she knows the campaign was important. Laura says it still is. Ned tells her that he’s sorry to see her go; she was a formidable candidate. He didn’t expect to win on a technicality, but she says he didn’t win anything yet. She wants to discuss terms; what he’s going to promise her in exchange for her endorsement.

Spinelli says Jason would take any risk or suffer any injury to save Sam. Jason says she doesn’t need saving. Spinelli says he watched her at the police station when their identities were sorted out. She knew all along, but pretended to believe Drew was Jason because he believed it. She lied for his benefit, and Spinelli thinks that’s why she’s marrying him. She’s sacrificing her happiness because of misguided loyalty. The same thing he’s doing now.

The couple has prepared their own vows. Drew tells Sam that people say their lives didn’t start until they met the person they’re going to live their life with, but with him, it’s literal. So much wasn’t true, but she gave him what was – love. He might have no past, but he’s thankful for his future with her. He takes the ring from Danny, and promises to love, honor, and cherish her until death and beyond, if that’s possible. Sam says when she was thinking about the vows, she kept thinking how much has changed in past couple of months. She realized the important things that last and matter stayed the same. She still loves and adores him. They share an incredible bond, and had the chance to make an amazing family. She has a life with him, but never expected it to be richer and fuller than she could imagine. It’s a life she wants to continue to share with him, always. She takes the ring, and promises to love, honor, and cherish him to death and beyond. They do the I dos. Do-be-do-be-do. The officiant pronounces them husband and wife. They kiss, and everyone applauds.

Anna goes home, and finds her door open. She draws her gun. She calls for Obrecht, but finds Jordan, her gun also drawn.

Obrecht is lying on some straw, and I wonder where there’s a barn in Port Charles.

Laura tells Ned that he’s going to need more than the backing of his supporters; he needs her support, but it will cost him. Ned says, hypothetically speaking, what would be the cost? She tells him that she wants tight limits on the redevelopment, but he says it’s up to the voters to decide. She wants him to designate the pre-war buildings to be left alone, and she’ll give her endorsement. He says he can give suggestions, but can’t make it happen. If he made that promise now, it would be in bad faith. Laura appreciates his candor. He says she was a worthy opponent. And would have made a fine mayor. They shake hands. When Ned leaves, Lulu says they lost.

Spinelli tells Jason that he was the first person, maybe the only person, who treated Sam with respect as a person in her own right. Because of that, she learned to respect and know herself. That’s not the case with Drew. They don’t know who he would have been if he’d been left in his own life. He doesn’t know himself, and can’t give of himself or give her that support. Jason says he’s making assumptions, but Spinelli says he saw him at the station, seemingly expecting Sam to fill his needs, giving little thought to what she needed. Jason says he doesn’t break the law or put lives at risk. Jason is true to himself, and out of that truth, can give Sam the love she needs. She made a wrong choice for the wrong reasons. Jason tells him to stop. He’s heard him, and it’s appreciated, but he has to leave Sam alone. Spinelli says that Sam told him in the early says, she had an unfamiliar feeling with him; one she liked, but couldn’t place. Then she realized he made her feel safe.

Curtis toasts to the bride and groom, saying may their joy outweigh their sorrow, and their good days outweigh the bad. May they rest easy in each other’s arms tonight, and all the days to come. Danny also makes a toast, saying, mommy and daddy, happy wedding! Sam smears Drew’s face with cake, and says gotcha.

Michael drops by Sonny’s. He tells Sonny about the paternity test, and that he’s definitely the father. Sonny asks how he feels, and Michael says he’s trying to wrap his head around the fact that he and Nelle will be connected by the baby. Sonny tells him to remember the baby comes first. Michael is concerned about it being a wedge. Nelle started out plotting against the family, and now she’s carrying their grandchild; he doesn’t want a rift. Sonny tells him to always trust that he’ll never lose Sonny’s love. He’s Michael’s father, and loves him unconditionally, and knows he’ll love the baby the same way.

At the MetroCourt, Bobbie asks how Carly is holding up, and Carly says, just dandy. She doesn’t know how she feels about Michael being a father, and her a grandmother. How is she supposed to be happy with Nelle in their lives? They see Nelle, and Carly tells her that was quite a performance at the hospital; now they get the encore at the MetroCourt. Nelle says she has no idea what Carly is talking about. Carly says Nell and her son are connected by the baby, but that’s where it begins and ends. If she’s thinking of going further, don’t. Nelle says how Michael feels is up to him. Monica arrives, and Nelle says she’s meeting her for dinner. Carly makes faces, and Monica asks if she has a problem with that. Nelle hopes she didn’t pull Monica away, but Monica says it was a small wedding, and Drew and Sam would rather get going. Carly is surprised that they’re married. Nelle says she’ll get a table. Bobbie tells Monica to be careful. Monica says regardless of the past, Nelle is carrying their great-grandchild, and they should try to get along. Bobbie says she’s doing so at her own risk. Carly tells her that Nelle will soon show her true colors.

Jordan says a neighbor called, thinking something was going on at Anna’s place. It’s been fully swept, and everything is fine. Anna tells her about Obrecht showing up drunk, and thinks that’s probably what the neighbor heard or saw. She tells Jordan that she looks great, and Jordan explains that she was Curtis’s plus one for the wedding. Anna can make it up to her by explaining why Obrecht was drunk, and asks if it’s about Faison. Anna says it’s nothing, and Jordan tells her to promise to call if she needs help. Anna thanks Jordan for checking on her, even though she didn’t have to. Jordan says surely Anna knows her by now.

Obrecht’s phone rings. Faison picks it up. We’re still not actually seeing him; just his hands or the back of his head.

Anna leaves a message on Obrecht’s phone, saying she shouldn’t have left. Anna needs to know if she’s okay, and asks her to call back. Anna gets a text, saying, I’m fine. Anna texts back that they aren’t finished, and the return text says, don’t worry, Anna. I’ll be seeing you soon.

We see the phone in Faison’s hand. Obrecht starts to wake up. She wonders what happened. She looks up, and gasps.

Michael is surprised at how well Sonny is handing it. Sonny says he has no use for Nelle, but has faith in Michael. Michael asks, even after he got involved with Nelle? Sonny says she took advantage of his good nature, but the baby is innocent. No matter what happens, Sonny is behind him, and will support whatever decision he makes.

Bobbie tells Carly to let it go. Monica is Michael’s grandmother, and gets to decide how to deal with Nelle. She thinks it’s a mistake, but it’s her mistake to make. Bobbie goes to get a table. Carly says Michael can do whatever wants, but that doesn’t mean she can’t talk him out of it. She makes a call, telling someone she needs to talk about Nelle Benson.

Laura asks to talk to Alexis. Alexis is sorry she dropped out of the race, but understands that family comes first. She’s bummed about Ned running unopposed. Laura doesn’t think it will be that smooth for him, and Alexis says it sounds like she has a replacement. Laura says she does, and she’s perfect. Alexis asks who the lucky candidate is, and Laura says, you.

Drew and Sam bask in the afterglow. He says he’s excited, and can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Still on the footbridge, Jason remembers when we were all children. Sam says he’s a good friend, and she wishes she was a better friend to him. She’s figured out why she sleeps better when she with him. He makes her feel safe.

Tomorrow, Jordan says she’s going to come down like a ton of bricks, Lulu make a pitch to Peter, and HE’S BACK!!!

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa arrives at SUR where the Pride Day party is being organized. Stassi is in charge of dressing the staff. She jokes that she shouldn’t have a problem getting the staff’s respect, considering she was the drunk girl stealing goat cheese balls off passing trays not long ago.

The guys go to a Reiki session. Peter is a regular; he has all his chakras together. Jax thought they were going to push pebbles around with a rake, but instead is subject to some meditation. It’s probably not hard for him to empty his mind. After the meditation, instructor Kelsey asks where everyone is at. Schwartz says he’s been drinking too much, Peter feels like he’s doing too much, and Tom thinks he’s stagnant. Jax tears up, and tells everyone about screwing up his relationship with Brittany. In his interview, he says no one has asked how he’s doing in all this, and I break out my violin. Kelsey gives him some attention and a hug, and Tom gives a voice to my thoughts when he says it wouldn’t be surprising if Jax ended up trying to sleep with her. I just don’t get what any woman sees in him. And he’s not that good looking. He’s no Brad Pitt. He’s not even Charles Bronson – two ends of the handsome spectrum.

The girls go to a spa or plastic surgeon or wherever you get Botox, and talk while they fill out paperwork. Lala says she’s having lunch with Katie. She likes Katie, and wonders if Scheana’s relationship is really talked about as much as she claims it is. Ariana thinks Scheana’s insecurities are getting the best of her, and everyone should mind their own business. Scheana brings up the Rob rumor. She says he laughed about it, but feels him pulling away.

In her interview, Stassi says it’s fun to have a girls’ night where everyone dresses up. The girls, minus Scheana, go to an outdoor bar. They discuss Scheana’s reaction to Rob making out with someone else. Brittany says she tried to explain that Katie just didn’t just make it up. The waiter knows the area where Brittany is from, and flirts with her. Kristen is glad she’s getting her mojo back. Katie asks how she’s doing. Brittany says she’s decided to work it out with Jax. I can’t take it. Stassi tells her that Jax will say he’s going to get help, and then be the same. He’s doing the bare minimum to keep her. She tells Brittany that he’s never once broken up with a girl in his entire life.

Lala, James, and Logan go out for drinks. James orders a double shot of bourbon, and toasts to getting drunk. My stomach turns when he chases the bourbon with maple syrup. In his interview, he explains that he’s curbing his drinking, but occasionally something comes over him. However, he can stop any time. Raquel is moving in, and we see a clip of James clearing out a whole drawer for her. Things start to get dicey when Lala tells them about asking for a bite of Raquel’s pasta at James’s event, then eating all of it. James calls her bitch, surprising all of us. James gets crazy, and tells her not to eff with his bitch. He follows that gem with saying Lala’s boyfriend will get bored soon, and be done with her, going on to next pretty blonde. In her interview, Lala says he turns into a werewolf when he drinks. Lala tells him to learn his place, and know how to talk to someone when they’re a friend. She stomps out, and Logan tells James to go after her. Outside, she asks wtf is wrong with him? It was a joke, and he should know who has his back. He says it’s not about the pasta, and repeats that several times. In his interview, he says it’s about respect for his girlfriend. Lala tells him to get out of her face. He wants to talk later, but she tells him to get lost.

Scheana asks the girls if they were talking about her last night. A friend of her mom’s was at the same restaurant, and heard her name. What are the odds of that? Brittany says Katie believes Scheana thinks she started the rumor. Scheana says Rob doesn’t need this. He’s too busy to deal with their BS. Brittany says Katie didn’t make it up, but Scheana insists she added to it. Brittany wonders why she’s getting so mad if it isn’t true.

Tom and Schwartz go to the restaurant site. It’s still a huge mess. Tom says they’re holding up their end of the bargain with sweat equity, and getting down and dirty. In his interview, Schwartz says Katie made him promise not to drink, do shots or have guys’ night. He did all three at once, but he came home to a loving reception, and it caught him off guard. He thinks he was subconsciously testing her to see how she’d react. Tom has to show him how use a protective mask. Schwartz says he’s not an engineer.

Katie shows the girls a picture that Tom sent of Schwartz sleeping on his couch. In her interview, she says a year ago, she would have rage texted and insulted his penis, but today, they’re talking it out. Marriage is good for them. She told him that she doesn’t like waking up alone. She tells them that Schwartz said he was falling in love with her all over again. Everyone goes, aww!

Lisa and Ken show up at the site. Schwartz is happy to be doing something, not just talking about it. Lisa asks if he and Katie are okay. Tom says Schwartz slept at his house, but that happens sometimes. Lisa tells Schwartz they’re going to sit down and go over his marriage vows. He says they’re right here, pointing to his heart. He tells Lisa that he wants to hug her, and she tells him to get away. In her interview, she tells us that he’s too old for puppy dog antics. Schwartz is married now, and needs to handle his responsibilities.

Kristen talked to Brittany’s mom, and wants to surprise her with a visit. Brittany has been crying that she wants her mother, so Kristen is flying Sherri out to LA. If she can’t talk sense into Brittany about breaking up with Jax, no one can.

It’s Pride Day, which can’t exist without Lisa, who is wearing pink from head to toe, including a humongous pink hat with big flowers. Rob comes by SUR. Scheana tells him she’s lost her smile. He says that life is hard enough, and she needs good people in it. In her interview, Scheana says if loses him because of what they said, there’s going to be a problem. She tells Rob that she loves him, but we don’t hear him say it back. I don’t know if that’s because he doesn’t, or it’s edited that way. I’m on to Bravo about that.

Stassi dresses Brittany in a flower child outfit. She looks really cute. Lisa sees Lala on the street in a sort of Wonder Woman getup. She tells Lisa about her fight with James. In her interview, Lala says if James doesn’t kiss her ass and apologize a million times, she’ll have no choice but to move on. Lisa says he’s lucky she wasn’t there or she would have boxed his ears, and he has ears to box. Ha-ha-ha-ha! He does have big ears.

Stassi dresses the other girls. She tells Jax if he doesn’t paint his face, she’ll put him in a flower crown, but he’s not into dressing up. Stassi thinks hitting her stride; everyone looks hot. Scheana tells Lala about Rob coming by SUR, and that he was sweet, acting like it doesn’t bother him, but it’s affecting her. Lala tells her to ignore it. In her interview, Lala says Scheana strives for perfection. She’s lost weight because she’s not eating; it’s obvious she’s stressed. Lala tells her to let the girls talk.

Pride is in full swing, and SUR is crowded already. Lisa thanks Tom for being festive. Jax insists he’s festive enough in a black T-shirt. Lisa introduces Billie, SUR’s trans hostess, to the crowd. Lisa supports her and applauds her journey. Billie talks about how supportive Lisa has been in giving her a job and accepting her. In his interview, Jax tells us that he had no idea Billie was trans when he met her. Whatever she had done, she got money’s worth. Billie tells him that she likes his vibe, and thinks he has his own sh*t to go through. I highly doubt their stories are the same, but I’m guessing everyone is drunk at this point. Lisa tells Stassi, good job. Schwartz motorboats Katie. In her interview, Katie says that she’s working on being more easy-going, and Schwartz Is working on not blacking out. It’s progress.

James hugs Logan and Jax. Jax doesn’t know what going on, and says it’s weird. In his interview, James says Logan and Raquel fill different voids in his life. Raquel is his emotional connection, and Logan is his party side. They drink doing that hooking arms thing. Scheana joins them. James says he’s never losing Logan as a friend. They love each other as best friends. Logan says more. It’s a deep relationship, and he looks out for James. Raquel says something is going on.

Brittany says she’s the opposite of Scheana, and eats when she’s stressed. Lisa sits down with Scheana. In her interview, Lisa says she knows Scheana well, and is seeing a fragility about her. She asks what’s going on. Scheana says she feels physically ill. She’s let Katie, Kristen, and Stassi affect her relationship, and she’s better when she’s not around them. She tells Lisa that they said something that wasn’t true, and starts to cry. She says it’s the happiest she’s ever been, and wonders why they want to bring her down. She wails that they’ve been perfect. Lisa reminds her about how she said things were fine with Shay. We flash back to Scheana telling Lisa that her relationship with Shay is amazing. Lisa tells her even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. Scheana says they’re meant to be together. Lisa tells her to eat something and pull herself together. Lisa goes to the kitchen, and grabs a plate of food, like the mom she is. She plops it in front of Scheana, telling her she looks like a nervous kitten, and she won’t have it. In her interview, Scheana says it’s refreshing to have a boss like Lisa, who is also a friend. I’d never say Lisa isn’t the best boss ever, but it’s not like Scheana has had a lot of jobs. Katie is wondering who took the plate of food she ordered for a customer. That would be the one in front of Scheana.

Rob arrives at SUR. Scheana says she can’t let them affect her life and relationship. It’s all good now, and she just wants to eat a sandwich. She has her smile back.

Brittany counts her tips. She made $576, which she informs Jax was hard work. Good for her. I can’t imagine doing her job. Jax tells her how pretty she looks and that he got compliments on her behalf. In her interview, she says he thinks he’s a charmer. She loves him, even though he’s a dummy.

Meanwhile, at PUMP, James asks if Lala a still mad at him. She says he’s one of her dearest friends, but his behavior is unacceptable. She tells him not to mention her name unless it’s something positive. She trusted him, and needs to feel safe. He apologizes, saying sometimes he’s an idiot and effed up. In his interview, he says he has a lot of acquaintances, but few friends. When things get complicated, he needs to straighten it out right away.

Kristen and Katie come by Brittany and Jax’s apartment. In her interview, Kristen says Brittany is the best thing to happen to the group, and she refuses to watch Jax bring her down. Brittany’s mom walks in. Jax looks like he’s going to have a heart attack. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Next time, Sherri talks to Lisa, Sherri talks to Jax, Lala talks to Katie about Scheana, and Schwartz calls Scheana the fakest faker ever.

🏊 Summer House is back, and still just as stupid. Like a slightly older version of The Real World, a bunch of boring friends rent a house in the Hamptons that I would kill for, and proceed to spend the summer in a blackout. It didn’t take long before the arguments started, although there was a nice diversion when a couple of cast members decided to head back to NYC for the Gay Pride Parade. I assume this was filmed around the same time as Vanderpump Rules, but too bad Lisa wasn’t attending this one. Maybe she could whip these kids into interesting. If I had a fabulous house in the Hamptons, it’s not likely I would rent it to a bunch of drunken morons. I’ve also never had the desire to spend an entire summer with a bunch of other people in one house, but if I did, I guarantee they would be more intriguing and dimensional than this group

🍆 I discovered a cooking show that premiered in November, but is new to me, and it looks like a lot of fun. It’s Suppertime with Matty Matheson airs Tuesdays at 6, 6:30, and 7 pm on Viceland. You can read more about Matty, “the John Belushi of the Toronto food scene,” here:

https://torontolife.com/food/chef-matty-matheson-vice-canada-parts-and-labour-dead-set-on-life/

MattyMatheson

Matty Matheson

 

Jan18

January 17, 2018 – All About Ava, the NJ Reunion Begins, Larry Has a Bad Day & Some Tabatha

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Ava looks at herself in the mirror and thinks about Carly insulting her. Julian stops by to wish her luck. She says she’ll take it. She’s out of options if the treatment doesn’t work. Julian says she’s still a knockout, and asks if it’s worth it. She says she’s been through hell, and it clarified things. He says he’s blamed a lot of people for his bad deeds, and the only way he found true peace was to take responsibility for his own actions. Maybe she should try it. She tells him that she has to make a stop before going to GH – she has some unfinished business.

Ava thanks Sonny for seeing her. She’s having a medical procedure, and you never know. She wants to see her daughter. He says Avery is with her mother, and Ava says Carly isn’t her mother. Sonny says Carly does what she doesn’t. Ava says that’s only because he won’t let her, but he says Kiki practically raised herself. Carly comes in with Avery, but Sonny directs them to the kitchen. He says his son is dead because of Ava. She tells him he has no right to punish her for what Olivia-J did. He says if he’d killed her after she murdered Connie, his son would still be alive. Carly comes back in, and Ava says they can’t keep her away forever, but Carly tells her when Avery finds out what she did, she won’t want anything to do with her. Ava says their house was built with blood money, and promises Avery will know her.

At the hospital, Kiki tells Griff that she tried to get some sleep, but had to be there for her mom. She’s concerned that Ava thinks it’s going to fix more than her face, but thanks Griff for pulling her back from the brink. They hug, and Ava walks in. Kiki tells her there’s still time to back out. She’s going through with the surgery and whatever the outcome is, she’ll accept it.

Ava lies on the table. The surgeon asks if she’s ready. He says when she wakes up she’ll be a new woman. He puts the mask on her, and tells her to count backward from ten.

Ava opens her eyes to Griff and Kiki. Kiki says it was successful. Ava wants to see, but she’s still woozy. She hears Griff say, here’s some lithium for the pain, but what he really said was ibuprofen. He says the bandages have to stay on overnight. He thinks she’ll be happy with the result, and says he can take her home when she’s ready. She’s ready now and asks if Kiki wants to come but she thinks they need alone time.

Time moves fast in Port Charles. The next morning, Ava looks at herself in the mirror. Griff asks if she’s ready. She wonders if it was for nothing, and doesn’t know if she can do this. He says they’ll do it together, and kisses her. He helps her remove the bandages and asks what she thinks. I think she looks pretty much the same minus that small blemish almost where you couldn’t see it. She says it worked, and Griff asks how she wants to celebrate the first day of the rest of her life.

At the MetroCourt of course. Sonny and Carly are also dining there. Ava says it’s been months since she was shamed away from the restaurant, and she’s done hiding. He tells her to get the drinks, and he’ll grab a table. She crosses paths with Laura, who says her face seems to have miraculously recovered. She hopes Ava’s appearance was worth selling her soul. Ava sees a woman go past, and follows her to the ladies’ room. Wow. The stalls are huge. There’s no one else there, and she wonders where the woman went. Carly comes in, and asks how dare she show her face there? Ava asks if she’s going to congratulate her on her recovery, but Carly says her son will never recover. Ava says she’s not going to continue to hide because Sonny can’t let it go. Carly says she’s not going to rest until the world sees Ava for the ugly soul she is. She leaves, and Ava gets a text from “Unknown,” saying they know who she is.

At Kelly’s, Ava complains about the portrait Franco painted. There are too many shadows, and she wants it to be about emerging from the darkness. The woman from the MetroCourt comes in, and picks up a to-go order. Ava follows her out, but she disappears again. Ava literally runs into Nina, and asks where the woman went. She keeps seeing her and getting texts. She asks if they’re from Nina, and asks why she’s sending them. Nina has no idea what Ava is talking about. Ava says sorry she doesn’t have a baby for Nina to snatch form her womb. Nina says she had a psychotic break, but she’s moved on, and doesn’t even think about Ava anymore.

Back home, Ava says someone is messing with her, but who? There’s a knock at the door. She opens it without looking through the peephole, which makes no sense whatsoever. It’s Morgan. He says he needs help. Is this whole thing a dream? Is Bobby in the shower? I’m guessing it is a dream, since the episode is focusing on one person, and every once in a while, the close-ups are a little odd.

Ava says this isn’t real; he’s dead. He says it’s real and it’s him. She takes him to the couch, and tends to a wound on his forehead. He tells her that he has a prosthetic hand to replace the one he lost in the explosion. She asks where he’s been, but he doesn’t know. He remembers taking a car, and got out to talk to Jason. Next thing he knew, fire was everywhere. He woke up in the hospital. His hand was gone, but he was alive. Ava says that means she didn’t lose him. She loves him so much. She says his injuries are new, and Morgan tells her that he couldn’t stay at the hospital. Someone is trying to kill him. He thought maybe it was the doctors, so he came there. Ava says the person who planted the bomb is in prison, and the doctors were trying to help him. They wouldn’t have known his diagnosis, and he needs his medication. He says he was a prisoner, and wonders if he’s making it up. She says sometimes it’s difficult to think clearly without his meds. He says he can’t trust himself. He was spiraling out of control before the explosion. She says it doesn’t matter. He’s alive, and they need to tell everyone. He says he screwed up. He tells her it wasn’t an accident, and someone is trying to kill him. He asks to stay there, and she says of course.

Ava wakes up, and sees Morgan on the couch sleeping. She says he’s really there. Kiki knocks on the door. She asks if Ava slept in her clothes, and Ava asks what she’s doing there. Kiki asks if everything is okay. Ava says she’s working hard on the show, and will see her later. When she’s gone, Morgan comes out, and Ava asks why he was hiding. He doesn’t know what he’d say to Kiki, and asks if she’s still with Dillon. Ava says he really loves Kiki, and he says with all his heart. Ava gets a series of texts from Unknown, saying they’re coming. They know who she is, and what she did. She tells Morgan she’s been getting weird texts. He needs to tell the family he’s alive. He asks what if they’re not at the house? She tells him not to worry. She knows how to tell everyone he’s back.

She brings Morgan to the gallery. She says half the town will be there tonight. Franco drops by. Ava stashes Morgan in the back, and Franco gives her the final portrait. She thanks him, and hustles him out. Morgan asks what’s going on? She wants to show everyone he’s alive, and that she’s changed. People will stop blaming her for what happened. She says he’ll hear things about her, but if he ever loved her at all, trust her.

Ava visits Carly. She says she has something important to tell her and Sonny. They need to show up at the gallery tonight; it will change everything. She tells Carly that she helped Jason escape. She’s done terrible things, but she’s becoming a different person. She needs them to be there tonight, and she’ll show them.

At the gallery, Scotty congratulates Ava, and makes a toast to her being back where she belongs. She sees the mystery woman serving drinks. She asks if Griff knows her, but there’s no one there. She tells him that she must be tired. Griff feels like she’s keeping him at arm’s length. She asks him to trust her and says everything will make sense soon.

Carly and Sonny come in. Sonny says it better be good, and Ava tells him to trust her. He says that will never happen after what she did to Morgan. She says Morgan is alive, and she can prove it. She calls to Morgan, and tells him to show them he’s all right. She insists he’s there. A woman comes out in a bloody dress and says, Hello, Ava. It’s Connie Falconari.

Ava doesn’t understand. She says Morgan was here, and Connie is dead. Connie says Ava would know. Ava shot her in cold blood, left her there to die on a cold floor, and she bled out slowly and painfully. Ava says Morgan was here, and Connie can’t be here. Connie says she dreamed him up to absolve herself, but she can’t. Just like Ava can’t absolve herself of killing her. Ava says she was protecting Julian, and Connie asks if that’s true, or was it because she told the world Kiki wasn’t a Quartermaine? She ruined Ava’s plans, so Ava murdered her. Ava refuses to be judged for the rest of her life. She says Julian abused his wife; Nina stole her baby daughter; and Valentin killed Nikolas right in front of her. She tells Sonny that bodies lie in his wake for the sake of his business. What makes him better than her? He says he knows who he is. He’s made bad choices, but she lied to everyone about what she is and what she’s done, and the worst part is she lied to herself. Connie says her lies are over. It’s time to face the truth.

Ava is alone with a light shining on her. Nina says Ava stole her husband. Laura says she betrayed Nikolas and Spencer by refusing to tell the truth. Connie says Ava shot her in cold blood, without conscience or remorse. Griff is there, and Ava says to tell them she’s changed; not just her face. Tell them there’s good in her. He says he thought there was, but after seeing this, maybe some souls can’t be saved. She asks if Kiki knows better. She’s Kiki’s mama, and loves her. Kiki says she’s jealous, and switched Morgan’s pills because she wanted him for herself. Ava yells, stop it!

She opens her eyes to see the mystery woman, who asks if she’s been getting the messages. She’s the one texting. Ava doesn’t understand; she doesn’t know her at all. The woman asks if she doesn’t recognize her own daughter. It’s Avery. Ava comes closer. She says it is her. How could she not see it? She hugs Avery, and says she loves her. She doesn’t understand how Avery is all grown up, and asks if she’s dead. Avery says no, but Morgan is, because of her. She took away the medicine he needed to be sane, and he died. She lies to everyone, but most of all to herself. Ava says that Avery’s father hates her, and kept her away. Avery says he was protecting her. Ava says Carly is wrong. Her soul isn’t ugly; she’s been cleansed by fire. Her new face will show everyone what Griff sees. Avery says Griff sees what he wants to see, to justify leaving the priesthood. Ava refuses to be defined by her past, and is going to move forward, like nothing ever happened. Avery says Ava claims to be terrified that Avery will never know her, but she thinks Ava is scared that she’ll see her for what she is. Franco’s portrait appears, with Ava’s face covered in scars, and suddenly, Ava’s face looks like it did right after the accident. Avery says, time to wake up. Griff tells Ava, welcome back.

At the apartment, Ava looks at herself. Griff thought she’d be thrilled. She says she is. She says he doesn’t judge by her past; he sees the real her. She tells him that she had a dream when she was under, and he says a lot of patients dream crazy things when they are. He wonders what it was about, but she says it’s not important. The only thing that matters is she’s been given a new lease on life, and she doesn’t want to waste it. She knows where he’s taking her.

Back to the MetroCourt. Carly sees them come in, and is like, no way. Sonny says he’ll handle it. He tells Ava that she’s not welcome there, and that she can eat somewhere else. She tells him that she chooses to eat there. They both have to live their lives, for better or worse. She goes to the bar, and the bartender puts a martini in front of her. She asks how they knew. It’s grown Avery, who says she knows who Ava is.

Tomorrow, Molly says she can take care of herself, Laura says all Jim cares about is the almighty dollar, and Alexis tells Ned she can’t support his campaign or platform.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion, Part One

Jewel tones is the wardrobe theme. No pigtails for Margaret tonight though. Teresa wants to make out with Andy, who says he’s a great kisser. I sometimes think he’s a closet heterosexual.

We flash back to the ladies’ business ventures. The restaurant, envy, Margaret’s shoe line. Melissa says she didn’t want Joe #2 taking on another job, but when he talks about the family, she gets soft. Melissa says nothing will ever come between her and Teresa again, and everyone agrees they’re solid this time. Andy asks Margaret about how Melissa is running the boutique, and Margaret says she’s on point. We also find out Margaret sometimes wears pigtail extensions. Andy points out that Betsey Johnson tweeted while watching the show, that she still rocks pigtails at 75, and I almost pass out that she’s that old. She’s one of my favorite designers. Siggy pisses me off early on, rolling her eyes and making faces when Margaret talks about hearing from Betsey personally. Excuse me for missing it, but what is wrong with her talking about this? Andy brought it up and um… this is a reality show where people’s real lives are watched and discussed.

Margaret is up, and we go down Memory Lane with clips of her life from this season. Andy asks if the kids have reached out. She says they watch the show, but no. She says she’d be there at the drop of a hat and would take crumbs. Andy brings up that there are three husbands named Joe who are also contractors. A viewer asks if Margaret sees that she should have kept quiet. Margaret thinks she can be offensive, but it’s her humor. She says she apologized to Siggy a million times, and the only thing Siggy said truthfully was that she wanted to destroy Margaret. Siggy says she’s an Israeli, and Margaret tells her to bring it on. Dolores says this isn’t going to go well. Not unless everyone suddenly decides to act their age. And by everyone, I mean Siggy. I’ve decided she’s the most annoyingly stupid woman on earth. Or at least on Bravo, and that’s saying a lot.

We see clips of everyone’s kids, so I take a nap. Then there’s some who-ha talk. Melissa’s phone rings. It’s Ramona Singer (!). Andy answers, and tells her they’re in the middle of the effing reunion. She says goodbye, and Andy tells Melissa to put it on airplane mode. A question is asked about discipline of Teresa’s girls. She says they’ve lost a lot, and nobody is walking in her shoes. Preach it! Andy outs Teresa about banning Melissa from visiting her in prison. She says she wanted to deal with the friendship when she got back. We see clips of how the family was affected when Teresa lost her mother. Andy says seeing her dad crying struck his heart. Mine too. Teresa says he goes to the cemetery every day. Andy wonders if she’s still going to blame Joe #1 for the year she lost when he gets back. She says he has a lot of making up to do, and it was therapeutic for her to get it out in her book. Andy asks if the others would stick around, should their husbands “go away.” Melissa says she’d give Joe #2 more hell. Teresa says there wasn’t a time she seriously thought of leaving. Andy asks if Joe #1 seems different, and she says he watches the show, and realizes he’s an a-hole. Andy brings up the possibility of him getting deported. Teresa says whatever God’s plan is, is what’s going to happen, and she’ll embrace it as best she can.

Ugh! Next is Siggy and Margaret. It started with the memorial thing, and how she and Dolores felt left out. Siggy says she brought Margaret in; where’s the respect? Siggy comes off looking like an airhead Mafia wife from a comedy starring Joe Pesci. Margaret’s best line: It’s draining; you’re fifty. Andy brings up Siggy selling the Soggy T-shirts, and she says she likes to take a negative and turn it into a positive. Teresa thinks both Siggy and Margaret went below the belt. Siggy claims she never starts it. Maybe not, but she’ll sure keep it going. Margaret says she didn’t realize they weren’t coming to the memorial, and it turned into a debacle like she had a nefarious plan to leave them out. Siggy thinks when she ordered the flowers, she should have called. A viewer says Siggy and Dolores are about as mean girls as you can get, but Siggy insists it’s just fighting back. Margaret says she can dish it and take it, but she did apologize. Siggy is on a roll, and won’t shut up, even though Margaret is trying to answer her questions. Margaret thinks Siggy blaming her behavior on menopause and having a hysterectomy is victimizing women. She says Siggy is abrasive on social media. Apparently, Siggy wanted to report Margaret to PETA, because she has a taxidermized bear in her foyer. Margaret points out that veal is a baby cow who is force fed. Siggy says if Margaret makes fun of her foyer, she’s going to do the same. Margaret says Siggy always takes things to the next level. This is unbelievably stupid.

Andy tells us because of unlikely friendship, Danielle came back to the Garden State. Danielle comes out, and even Dolores thinks she looks amazing. She does. Andy says this season must have been different for her, as compared to season two. He says he never thought they’d go from flipping tables to having each other’s back. We flash back to moments of their friendship, starting with the table and ending with Teresa’s apology to Danielle’s daughters. Andy reminds them about Teresa pushing him during the last reunion Danielle attended. Melissa takes accountability for stirring the pot, saying she genuinely liked Danielle when no one else did. She never saw anything that Danielle did wrong. Teresa says there was never any real ill intent. Danielle talks about her children having been affected by the things Teresa said, and at one point, they moved because of it. We find out Danielle had sex in the bathroom at the Gorgas restaurant, but she says she got permission. Alrighty then. Siggy says it was inappropriate and disgusting. Dolores says Teresa is a big girl, and if she wants a friendship with Danielle, it’s up to her, but if that changes, she promises not to hold it over Teresa’s head that she warned her. Yeah, right. She and Siggy are like, fourteen mentally, at most.

Here comes Cakegate. Andy says it led to tears, a never-ending feud, and a memorable therapy session. We see clips of the cake fight, and Siggy’s subsequent embarrassment of Melissa at her purse party. Siggy is insane. Siggy says a lot of thought, time, and effort went into the cake. Melissa says she understood why Siggy was upset. Melissa had no idea the cake was going to end up on her face, but when it did, she had fun with it. Teresa says she was upset that the bottom was plastic. Melissa says the name-calling was upsetting. Siggy acts like she had too much to drink, and doesn’t remember, and says she owns it. Margaret says that doesn’t make it right. Siggy says they hold her to a higher ground, but I think she means standard, and says it must be the kosher thing. What? A viewer asks about her calling out Melissa, and Siggy makes it sound like we missed something, didn’t see both sides, and she was just being funny. Melissa says Siggy tried to shame her, and she was embarrassed. Siggy says she was just trying to make a point and wanted her feelings acknowledged. Margaret says if someone did that to her, she’d be all sensitive about it. Siggy thinks Melissa should have had her back more. Melissa says it was a different Siggy than last year. Siggy apologizes if Melissa was embarrassed. Margaret points out the if – something I hate too – and Siggy says Margaret inserts herself where she doesn’t belong. Siggy says they shouldn’t overanalyze it, but Andy says it’s a reunion; they overanalyze everything.

Teresa says Melissa handled it well, and doesn’t think she would have. Melissa says she doesn’t like to be talked down to, and doesn’t think she deserved it. They talk about Siggy saying her IQ is 167. Siggy says she just made the number up, and Margaret says like she made up her career with no degree. Ouch! Siggy says she tried her hardest to bring friendships together, but she’s accepted it, and moved on. Andy asks Melissa if she understands why Dolores and Siggy insist on staying friends with Kim D. Melissa is baffled, saying Kim D tries to ruin businesses and families, and it’s not like they’re related to her. Dolores says if it hadn’t been a fundraiser, she wouldn’t have done it. Siggy says she knew Kim D five years before Melissa, and Melissa says, who cares? Margaret tells them that Kim D hurts the entire family, and it’s complicit to associate with her and defend her.

Andy says, guess what? She’s here! Teresa goes, blech, and the witch comes out. Teresa says she thought it was Real Housewives of New Jersey, not Tales from the Crypt. Kim D is like, ha-ha-ha, so funny. Teresa says if Kim D takes jabs at her family, Teresa will take jabs at her. Kim D says if Teresa messes with her, she’ll go back to jail – clink-clink! Teresa gets up.

Next time, Dolores and Danielle go at it, Kim D accuses Teresa of stealing, Siggy screams at Margaret, Teresa says Kim D is a madam (or magnum, as she puts it), and Danielle walks out. Now that Teresa has brought it up, Kim D does look like an old, washed-up madam. Like Sylvia Miles in that horror movie about the carnival. Oddly enough, she’s dressed like a nun next to the others.

If Loving You is Wrong

Eddie is shooting like a wild man, and Lushion punches him out. He asks if Eddie is crazy, and Eddie says Lushion knows he is. Larry says he’s a wild one, and he loves it. Eddie says he’s going to kill them, and Larry says he’s taking notes. Eddie tells them they have no idea what they’ve started. Larry says he’s going to break Eddie like a stallion, and that Eddie is really only a Shetland pony. Eddie says Larry is going to be in a box by the end of the week. He leaves, and Natalie asks what happened. Lushion tells her not to ask.

Stephen arrives on his motorcycle, and asks Lushion if everything is all right. Lushion says everything is under control, and thanks for showing up an hour late. Stephen tells Esperanza he’s not there because of Travis. He asks if she saw Eddie in his new get-up. She has a picture, and he wants to see it. She shows him her phone. He asks if Eddie is into this kind of stuff, but she says if he is, she never knew. He says it’s all over the station, and she says he’s going to have a rough day tomorrow. Stephen asks if he can meet Esperanza at her place, but she tells him to go home. He begs, and she tells him to stop. He says if he sees the porch lights on, he’ll come by. She says they’re always on, and it’s not the old West. She gets in her car, and calls him. She tells him not to flirt in front of the others again. She doesn’t want them in her business. He says, so now they have business? She says no, but her porch light will be on.

Ian tells Lushion Kelly isn’t good. He says representing her is a conflict, and Lushion has to find her a new lawyer. He can recommend someone, but it’s competition, and he has to run it by Larry. Lushion asks if Larry is into the S&M thing. Ian says he’s heard some things, but tries to stay away from that. He’s heard Larry and his wife throw wild parties though. Lushion says Larry had a run-in with a bad officer. Ian asks what he did. Lushion says he had him in a crazy position, and Eddie isn’t going to let it go. Ian says Larry is formidable and ruthless. That’s why he doesn’t know if he can do anything for Kelly.

Natalie says she’ll make something to help Kelly sleep. Kelly thanks her for everything. She doesn’t know if she’ll get through this, but Natalie says she will. She thanks Lushion, and he tells her to get some rest.

Stephen knocks on Esperanza’s door. She tells him to come in. She lounges provocatively in a lingerie ensemble. She asks if this is what he wants, and he says, yes ma’am. He says she knows he likes her. All the coffee he brings her at the station, and the flirting. He tells her he’s being respectful because of her, not Eddie. She says Eddie has run off every boyfriend she’s tried having. He asks if he’s her boyfriend, but she tells him she didn’t say that. They’re just two people who clicked. She loved that he didn’t run away, and he asks if that turned her on. She says he turns her on, and tells him to take his clothes off. She’s going to sleep with him when she wants to, see him when she wants to, and when she says it’s over, it’s over. He says he’ll take whatever she wants to give. She tells him to get on his knees.

Alex asks why Brad didn’t wake her up, but he says there was no need to. She wonders if he didn’t want to talk to her, and he says it’s nothing like that. She asks for a hug and kiss. He barely hugs and kisses her, and she thinks it felt forced. He asks what she wants. She says she didn’t go over there, and would like him to believe her. He says, okay. He tells her he’s going to wait outside for Marcie to bring the car back. He tells her he’s trying to get past it, but it’s not easy.

Esperanza says it’s time for Stephen to go. She tells him not to look at her strangely at work, and he feigns ignorance. He asks if she thinks she’s that good, and she says she knows. She says he’s okay; she’s had better. He doesn’t believe her, and says she smiles when she’s lying. He has a trained eye. She tells him not to leave his socks or little Stephen trinkets behind. She tries to keep her daughter out of the madness, but it’s getting harder. She tells him her daughter comes first, and she’s coming back today. She says when you deal with a sociopath like Eddie, you understand the need to be in control. He tells her to let him know when they can meet again. She tells him not to even acknowledge her at work today. He leaves, and she smiles as she makes the bed.

Ian calls Marcie. He says if everything goes well, he’d like to close this week. She says she’ll call the inspector. She asks what he knows about Larry. She asked him to rep her in the divorce, but she was at the house when the shooting happened, and he was there. He was drunk and strange. Ian says he’s an incredible attorney, but he can be out there. Marcie wonders if he’d break privilege. She told him something she hasn’t told Randal. Ian thinks she should talk to Larry about it.

Marcie calls Larry. Larry is sleeping, and Randal picks up. She idiotically starts the conversation with, I know you didn’t tell Randal I’m pregnant. Randal says, so you are, and she asks what he’s doing with Larry’s phone. He asks what she’s doing pregnant? She hangs up, and he calls back. He asks if she’s having the bastard’s baby, and she says she is. He asks if she’s taking it that far, and she asks if it upsets him. He hopes she has it, and she asks if he’s threatening her. He says she hasn’t been able to carry one before. She calls him a sick bleeped-out-word, and hangs up. She’s like, great.

Randal dumps a bucket of water on Larry, who jumps up like a cartoon character. Randal says, so she is pregnant; she just told him. He tells Larry to get out of his house. In the car, Larry calls Marcie. She’s like, wth? and asks if Larry told him. Larry says he was talking about Alex. She asks what kind of sick friends they are, and he says he’s sorry. She says he’s also fired. Bad day for Larry.

Randal sees Brad on the porch. He says Brad did it. Brad says what? and Randal says Marcie is pregnant with his baby. Brad says she is, and Randal says, good. Brad asks if Marcie told him, and Randal says don’t worry about it. Brad asks if it was Alex, and Randal says, it was. He asks when, and Randal says last night. Brad asks what time, but he doesn’t know. He claims she wants him back. Brad says he’s lying. Randal tells him to ask her, but Brad isn’t giving him the satisfaction. He says as a man, he’s telling Brad the truth. Brad says to get off his property. Randal says he’s on the sidewalk. He has a really funny look on his face, like he’s bummed. Brad says he’s tired of Randal. If he thinks the ladder was something, wait until what’s next. Brad says Marcie is coming to pick him up, and accuses Randal of putting sugar in her gas tank, calling him immature. He asks if it doesn’t get old, and Randal says he’s not done with this. He goes back home.

Lushion comes home and asks Natalie what time she went to bed. She says around four, but Kelly’s been up all night. He says that’s not good; she has to give her statement to the police today. She asks if anybody talked to Justice. Lushion says he doesn’t know if anything happened. Natalie wonders if Kelly can get off. He says if Ian was handling it, she would, but he has a conflict. His partner represents Travis and his church. He tells Natalie that Kelly has no money, and they’ll have to figure it out.

Kelly is sitting on the couch, and tells Lushion it’s a beautiful day; almost like nothing happened. She asks how Travis is, but they haven’t heard anything. He tells her he’ll call, but they have to go to the station. Natalie comes out and asks how she is, but Kelly doesn’t know. Natalie tells her it will be okay. Kelly starts to cry. Lushion insists that they have to go. Kelly says she hasn’t heard from Ian, and Lushion says they’ll call on the way.

Larry has a headache, and rightly so. Ian asks what he did last night, but he says Ian doesn’t want to know. Ian says they have a problem. Larry says shoot, but Ian says wrong word. Travis was shot last night. His parents want a press conference at noon. He asks if Larry realizes he’s not nineteen. Larry asks who shot him, and Ian says his ex-girlfriend. He was representing her before this, and they found strange evidence he was stalking her. Larry says it was the other way around, but Ian says Travis drove by her house 46 times in one day, and it gets worse. He hacked into her accounts, pretended to be her husband, and misrepresented her on several loans. He’s worse than his brother. Larry asks if the DA has it, and Ian says, not yet. Larry says then they bury it. Ian says she’s innocent, and Larry asks when they gave a sh*t about that? Ian tells Larry that he was representing her. Larry says now he’s not. Ian doesn’t want to let it get buried, and Larry says he’s too naïve. Travis’s parents and church pay them millions. It’s getting buried. He doesn’t want to hear about it, and Kelly needs another lawyer. He reminds Ian who owns this place. He’s owner and senior partner. If it falls in their lap, he’ll be upset. Ian says he’ll take care of it.

At the station, Kelly freaks about going into the interrogation room. She tells Lushion that she can’t do this again. He tells her to just breathe. She asks if he’ll wait with her, and he says he will. She says her lawyer’s not calling her back. He tells her not to say a word until she gets a lawyer. A man comes in, introducing himself as Tony Isaacs. Kelly says she’s not talking without a lawyer. He tells her that she’s under arrest for the murder of Travis Caine.

Next time, Alex insists she didn’t go over there, Larry tells Randal that he’ll sue, and Brad thinks about leaving.

🔎  Relative Success with Tabatha shows a lot of promise. Tabatha is tackling family businesses this time around. I love how much Tabatha looks like a pixie, and how she hasn’t really changed her style. I’m all for changing it up, but I also think if you find something that looks good on you, keep it. Tonight’s episode was about a large family of pizzeria owners. The father, and main owner, had to decide whether to go with an investor or hand the business over to the kids. Their need was consistent brand identity, and the kids were always at odds about how to run things. Tabatha’s recommendation was to go with the investor, who seemed to want to preserve the family legacy. In the end, the kids came together, and the father amicably parted ways with the investor. Tabatha told us that although she felt the investor was the way to go, the family changed her mind. That’s another thing I like about her, she’s someone who really does own it. She’ll stick to her guns and tell you what’s on her mind, but she admits it when she’s wrong and also keeps an open mind.

Thursday3

 

Jan17

January 16, 2017 – Josslyn Gets The Talk, Candace Turns Oscar Down, Dorit is Late & Some Fluff

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Josslyn says Carly sounds serious; it must be major. Carly says it is.

Kim tells Oscar that they have to talk.

Michael shows up at the gallery, saying Nelle didn’t need to have the lab results sent to his office. She wanted to make sure he knew they were real, and he says he thought she might want to be there when they were opened. Nelle tells him she already knows what it says, but wouldn’t mind seeing the look on his face when he sees he’s the baby’s father.

At the hospital, Griff asks Ava how it went. She says she has the all clear. In a few hours, her scars, and all the ugliness they represent, will be a bad memory.

Jake visits Drew at the office. He needs to ask a question. It’s Father/Son Day at school next week, and Jake needs him to be there.

Jason and Sonny look at PK Sinclair’s last email. You referred to the sequel. Clearly you haven’t read the ending. Jason says it ends with the son killing the father. Sonny says PK wants to kill Faison.

Carly tells Josslyn that seeing her in the cocktail dress scared her. She looked beautiful and grown up. It’s fun to try on being adult, but she’s fourteen and just discovering who she is. The next few years are pivotal, and Carly doesn’t want her to slingshot to the end. When she tells Josslyn she wants her to slow down, it’s because she wants her to experience all of it. She wants Josslyn to get to know herself and who she is, so she can make big decisions from a place of self-control and responsibility, not because she’s being pressured. Josslyn asks if this is “the talk.”

Oscar can’t believe Kim is doing this in public, but she says she didn’t bring her megaphone. She thinks he needs a refresher course, and asks why is he pretending that what’s happening, isn’t? He asks what she’s talking about, and she asks why Josslyn has condoms. He says it has nothing to do with either of them. Josslyn is holding them for a friend (yeah, I used that one too). Trina is afraid her mom will find them. Kim says they shouldn’t do it, and he says they’re not doing it. She tells him, good, because fourteen is too young.

Nelle tells Michael she would say congratulations, but isn’t sure it’s something he wants to celebrate. He’s glad he knows truth, and she asks if he thought it would say something else. He says, no. His gut told him that it was his baby. Nelle says, so it’s just for his parents. She says Carly is going to hate it, but Michael says all that matters is the baby. Whatever they can do to raise a healthy, happy child, sign him up. She asks what he’s doing next Monday.

Ava tells Kiki that she can’t thank her enough; she doesn’t deserve it. Kiki wants her to feel whole, but tells her to be careful. She doesn’t want Ava to think because her face is fixed, everything else is fine. She needs to figure out what’s going on inside. Ava says she might be pleasantly surprised. Once this horrific chapter is behind her, the rest will fall into place.

Drew tells Jake it must be important. Jake says they eat doughnuts with their dads, show them around the classroom, and do a cool science project together. Drew says if Jake wants him there, he’s there. Elizabeth comes in, and Jake asks if he’s in trouble. Elizabeth says it depends on why he’s there, and Jake says he wanted to tell Drew about Father/Son Day. Elizabeth says she would have brought him, but Jake says he thought maybe she would want him to take the other guy.

Jason tells Sonny there was a backer who Andre never saw. Faison is their best guess, and they have reason to believe the traitor is his son. Jason wants Faison, and wants to know why he did the switch. Sonny says they’re going to figure it out, and use his son to do it

Josslyn says this is coming out of nowhere, and Carly says that’s how she felt when the condoms fell out of Josslyn’s backpack, and no, she wasn’t snooping. Josslyn says she was holding them for a friend, and Carly says that’s the oldest excuse in the book. Josslyn tells her that Trina is seeing a junior, and was afraid her mom would find them. Carly says, thank God; she’s too young. Trina is too young too, but Trina isn’t her daughter. She’s not doing it, is she? Josslyn says no, and Carly asks if they’ve talked about it. Josslyn says, not once. Carly thinks the universe is trying to tell her something, and asks Josslyn to have a seat.

Kim tells Oscar when she heard about the condoms, she was actually happy that at least what she’d told him had sunk in. Oscar says they haven’t even talked about it. Kim tells him if and when they decide, it’s really important that they’re both on the same page, they both feel the same, and want the same things. As much as people say it’s not a big deal, it is. Oscar keeps rubbing his arm, and Kim asks what’s up with that? He tells her that Drew was teaching him some boxing moves and strategies, and it was really cool. Kim says she’s glad they talked, grabs her stuff, and jets, leaving both Oscar and I puzzled.

Nelle tells Michael that maybe he wants to come to her next prenatal visit. She’s having a sonogram, and he can see the baby. She says it’s really cool to listen to its heartbeat; it sounds like a horse galloping. She tells him that Kim thinks it’s important to have the father involved for bonding, but he doesn’t have to be. Michael says he wants to be, and plans to be as involved as he can. The paternity test isn’t the only reason he came to the gallery though. He thinks Ava has an ulterior motive, and that she’s setting Nelle up.

Griff asks if Ava is nervous, but she says she’s energized. She has to run by the gallery to check on an important client. She calls him a guardian angel, and says he saved her.

Jake tells Elizabeth it’s not that doesn’t like Jason; he doesn’t know him. Elizabeth understands, and asks if he feels pressured about having a relationship with Jason. He says no, but she talks about him a lot, and he thought she’d want him to take Jason to the Father/Son Day. She says no one expects that of him; not until he’s ready. He asks, what if he’s never ready, and she says it would be a shame. Jason is a great dad, and he’s lucky to have two amazing fathers. Jake says Jason is a stranger. Elizabeth agrees, but says he didn’t go away because wanted to. He was taken, like Helena took Jake; taken away from everyone he loved and what belonged to him. The cool part is that he didn’t try to grab everything back even though he could have. He respects everyone’s feelings, and loves Jake and Danny. She’s not saying how he should feel, but thinks it’s important that he knows Jason only wants what’s best for him. He’s Jake’s biological father, and she hopes one day when he’s ready, Jake gets to know him.

Sonny tells Jason when he finds Faison, he’s not going to question him; he’s going to kill him. Jason wants answers. Sonny thinks he knows. Obrecht said Faison was looking for an enforcer. It was impossible to have Jason, so he turned him into Drew. Jason wonders if it could be that simple. Sonny says that Jason eliminates quickly and cleanly, and does whatever Sonny asks him to. Who wouldn’t want that? Jason has to hear it from Faison. Sonny says he might be able to, once they smoke him out. Jason asks what Sonny has in mind?

Carly asks Josslyn if other kids are talking about it, and she says, some. Carly asks if they’re doing it or just talking, and Josslyn says, both. Carly suggests she take what she hears with a grain of salt. Kids think sex will make them grow up, and they pretend to do it or actually do before they’re ready. She asks if Trina’s boyfriend is pressuring her. Josslyn doesn’t think so. Trina seems to be into it, and says it’s no big deal. Carly says it is a big deal. It’s intimate and personal, and there’s only once chance for the first time, so it should be memorable. She and Oscar aren’t ready. Josslyn says she seems to be forgetting they’re not having sex. Carly wishes she had waited, and could look back and smile, but she can’t. Her first time was with an older man who didn’t really care about her. Josslyn asks why she did it, and Carly says she wanted to be a woman and make own choices. At the time, it was the biggest choice she could make, but it didn’t make her feel older or cooler, it just complicated things. She wants Josslyn to have a different experience, when she’s older and emotionally ready. She wants Josslyn to be with someone she trusts and feels safe with, in a loving environment, so it can be something she’ll look back on and smile.

Michael tells Nelle that Ava is a liar at best, and a murderer at worst. Nelle says she was the only one who would give her job, and she’s been nothing but kind. Michael says she wants something. He doesn’t know what, but when people get close to her, they get hurt. Nelle thanks him for the warning, but when it comes to Ava, her eyes are wide open. Funny. That’s what Michael told Carly about Nelle.

Griff tells Ava she’ll have confidence of who she is at her core. She dances into her surgery appointment.

Drew loves Jake, and loves being his dad, but Jake owes it to himself to get to know his biological father. Jake asks if it won’t upset Drew, but Drew says Jason is just another person to love him, and that’s a good thing. Jake asks if he’ll still see Drew, and Drew says Jake will get sick of him. Jake says never. Drew says Jake’s mom is right. He knows Jason does the right thing, and that makes him a good guy, but he’s missing out because he has no Jake in his life.

Jason writes an email to PK Sinclair: I can help you get the ending you want. He says, now we wait. Michael calls Jason asking him to meet at Kelly’s. Sonny says he’s going to call Spinelli and have him link the email accounts. Jason leaves, and Sonny says, PK Sinclair, come out, come out, wherever you are.

Carly wonders why Josslyn was telling Oscar that something was going to blow his mind. Josslyn realizes she thought they were talking about sex, and tells her she was clearly wrong. There are new attire guidelines for the dance, and one prohibits kids not dressing according to their gender. There’s one kid who identifies as female, and is being forced to wear a guy’s clothing. Carly thinks it’s awful, and Josslyn says it’s kind of her fault. Her friend has been bullied, so they complained, but instead of punishing the bullies, they’re punishing her with stupid rules. Carly says, good for her, sticking up for her friend, but Josslyn says she’s not done. They decide to throw an alternative dance – come as you are, wear and be want you want. They planned it the same night as the school dance, hoping for a boycott, but it could be grounds for suspension. It’s not ideal, but she’s committed to seeing it through. Carly says she should. Caring for people and doing what feels right is important, and Carly is proud of her.

Griff runs into Kiki, who wonders how is it she never sleeps, but can’t manage to talk to Dillon. He hopes he didn’t make her feel uncomfortable, and Kiki says no. Her mom is way off base. He asks how things are with her and Ava. She says it’s not the first time Ava has hurt her, and it won’t be the last.

Kim bursts into Drew’s office, saying she didn’t raise her son to be soldier. He’s teaching him boxing. What next? Target practice or ROTC? She tells him not to turn Oscar into something he’s not. Drew says, fair enough, but he’s no longer in the Navy. This is what he does now. He doesn’t remember being a SEAL, and is pretty sure he was never a recruiter. He’s not trying to get her son to do anything. Kim apologizes, and says he did nothing wrong.

Michael tells Jason about the paternity results. He’s a father. He’s never been so terrified and excited at the same time. Jason says welcome to parenthood. Michael says he got involved with an unstable woman, and now they’re having a baby. He’s taking responsibility, but what if the baby isn’t okay? Jason says it will be; it will have him.

Sonny tells Carly it’s early for wine, but she says not after the conversation she just had with Josslyn. He asks if she wants to talk about it, and she says not really. Sonny tells her she’s taught Josslyn by example to be strong, confident, and demand respect; sometimes too confident. Carly wonders if they’ll survive the teenage or will it kill her? Sonny says not if he can help it.

Josslyn joins Oscar back at Kelly’s. He asks what was up with her mom, and she says, awkward mom stuff. He knows.

Kim tells Drew she’s been having this conversation for fifteen years, and Drew says, now he suddenly shows up. She says her son was never aggressive, now he’s boxing. Drew explains that Oscar asked him. Apparently, a friend is getting bullied, and he wanted to defend them if necessary. Kim wonders if Oscar was really talking about himself, but Drew says he believes it. Kim says Oscar is a terrible liar, so he’s probably telling the truth. She apologizes for overreacting, saying she barged in and practically accused him of pumping Oscar full of steroids, when Oscar came to him. Drew says it shows he’s a good kid; she’s raising him well.

Ava goes to gallery. Nelle thought she’d be prepping for surgery, and Ava says she’s on her way. She asks about a painting, and Nelle gives her the receipt. Ava says maybe she’s catching on, but asks if that’s the only thing making her smile. She says that, and Michael was there. it went really well, and she might be on her way to being friends with him again. If she plays her cards right, maybe more than that eventually.

Jason tells Michael that he was the first baby he remembers holding. He had no idea, and knew nothing about kids. Michael says he got on the job training, and Jason says Michael taught him how to be father. Michael taught him how to open his heart up to another human being, and he learned to love someone else more than himself. Michael says there’s so much at stake. What if he messes up? Jason says he won’t. He has great instincts. No matter who the mom is, the baby has a right to everything good, and he knows Michael will do that. Michael says his life is going to majorly change, and Jason says, in the best way. There are one and a million amazing things he’ll see; the first times – a smile, words, the first everything, and he’ll be there. Michael says it’s a gift, but terrifying. Jason says he’s happy for him, and happier for the baby. The baby could do worse for a father. Michael says he’s got this. They hug.

Kiki says Ava is lucky to have Griff, but he says he’s the lucky one. The road might be longer and rougher, but he believes today will be a turning point.

Ava tells Nelle it means zip with that family. They forget nothing, and don’t forgive. The Corinthos family has closed their ranks forever to her. Nelle asks what she should do, and Ava tells her to cut her losses, and move on to a new Prince Charming. Anything else is an exercise in futility. Nelle says she’s probably right. The hormones are making her sentimental. Ava tells her to hold down the fort.

Kim tells Drew it will take time; it’s been just them for so long. Drew promises he won’t overstep or try to be an insta-dad if Oscar comes to him. Kim thanks him.

Jason tells Michael to practice deep breathing; he’ll learn as he goes. Michael asks, what about Nelle, and Jason says that’s not his problem. Michael and Jason part company.

Nelle tells the baby not to listen to Ava. Daddy is the only Prince Charming she wants.

Elizabeth takes Jake to Kelly’s. He sees Jason through the window. Jake hesitantly waves. Jason waves back.

Sonny gets a message from PK Sinclair saying they should meet. Jason comes back, and he says Sinclair took the bait; he wants to meet. Is Jason ready? He’s ready.

Tomorrow, Ava is ready to be a new woman, Scotty toasts to Ava, and Ava sees Morgan.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Veronica starts screaming that she smells gas. Melissa tells her to keep screaming. She wanted to take the scenic route, and no one can hear her. She didn’t care that Melissa’s father died, and now it’s her turn. Jeffrey is going to dance on her grave. Veronica keeps calling for help, but Melissa refuses to do anything. She’s going to sit there and wait for Veronica to die. She’s never smelled fried bitch before.

Benny and Mitch drive by and see Melissa sitting near the overturned car. They tell her to get away; the car might blow, but she hopes it does. They realize someone else is in the car. Mitch asks if Melissa is crazy, and she says after dealing with Veronica, it’s a possibility. Mitch runs to get a fire extinguisher. Veronica is going nuts, and Benny tells her to relax so he can help. Benny pulls her from the car.

At the hotel desk, Jim tells Broderick that his room key doesn’t work. Broderick says that’s because it’s not his credit card. Jim says if Broderick doesn’t get him in his room now, there won’t be a need for hotel policy; he’ll burn this bitch to the ground. He says he knows about Broderick and his wife scheming against him. Broderick gives him a new key.

Jim watches the news in his room. The DA says they’re close to making an arrest. The reporter wonders if it’s going to be a Cryer. Jim watches, and says, I know you. Oscar calls, and tells him to open the door. He asks what Oscar has. It’s good news and bad news. His son’s accounts are offshore, but they’re in luck, because he’s a bit of an addict. He went looking for drugs, and a thug got his ATM card, but they were arrested. Oscar thinks they should have recovery in a week. He asks where Jim wants the money to go, and Jim says he’ll text the information. He wants to get in touch with Sarah Duffy at the DA’s office, but no one can know.

Benny tells Melissa to be careful what she says. She says Benny should have let her die; she’s a wicked bitch. Benny thinks Melissa should go to the hospital, but she doesn’t want to. The EMT says it’s policy, although I’m not so sure about that. Veronica begs Benny to go with her to the hospital. Mitch tells him to go ahead, and Benny gets in the ambulance.

A guy does paperwork in Wyatt’s apartment. Wyatt walks in, and he introduces himself as Isaac. He says Anna called to be reassigned, and he was sent over. She’s been compromised because of the two of them sleeping together. Wyatt wants to talk to her, but Isaac says it’s not possible. Wyatt tells him to get out. Isaac knows Wyatt is upset. Anna is a recovering addict, and felt weak with him. Wyatt asks why she didn’t tell him, and Isaac says in the past, that’s how these situations have been handled. Wyatt tells Isaac he’s fired, and hustles him out. Wyatt calls Anna, and leaves a message. He can’t believe she walked out on him like that.

Oscar calls Wyatt, saying he’s with the Savannah police department, and they have someone who tried to use his ATM card. Wyatt says she tried to rob him. Oscar asks her name, and Wyatt tells him it’s Quita. Oscar asks if he wants them to file a report with the bank, but Wyatt says no, and hangs up on him. Oscar calls him an arrogant ass.

In a hotel stockroom, Broderick talks to Rocky, about Jim, saying he’s going to get Jim’s wife. Rocky says revenge is a good way to ruin the plan they have going. Broderick says they need to start making other plans. Rocky thinks they should get more girls, but Broderick isn’t down with that plan anymore. He needs bigger money than that. Rocky doesn’t think Kathryn will be interested, but Broderick says anyone married to a prick like that isn’t happy. He can at least fool her long enough for her to think she is. He tells Rocky that she’s worth $250 million, and Rocky is like, damn, that’s a lot of money. Broderick says he just has to make her feel special and get out. Rocky says everything is about appearance, and no way she’d be seen with him in public on her own. He doesn’t want their plan jeopardized. Broderick says that’s not going to happen.

Hanna sings Amazing Grace as she cleans. The bell rings. It’s a man Kathryn sent to fix the leak. He says he built the place, and introduces himself as Derek. He asks how long it’s been leaking, and Hanna says she just moved in, but she’s just staying until she finds a place. She says she can’t afford it there, and asks if he knows of a place that’s a third of the price. He does, but it’s on the other side of town. She’s fine with that, and he says he’ll leave his card.

The morgue calls. Hanna says she’ll come down and get them. She asks the Lord to help her. Derek has to shut the water off, and asks if she’s okay. She says her grandson was murdered. The morgue found something in his pocket, and she has to go get it. He asks if there’s anything he can do, and she says fix the sink.

Kathryn’s phone rings. It’s Hanna, who tells her about the morgue calling. Kathryn asks if Hanna wants her to go along, but Hanna just wants to know if it’s okay to leave Derek there. Kathryn says he’s completely trustworthy, and to call her when she gets back.

David puts a bed together. Erica says he works fast, and he says she shops fast. He’s hoping she likes the bed, but she thinks it’s a little masculine. He asks her to help him with his feminine side. His phone rings, but he doesn’t recognize the number, so he doesn’t answer.

Candace asks to pay for another night at the hotel, but it’s been paid for a month. She says she must have forgotten, and Broderick tells her it was paid for in cash. She goes to the bar, and Oscar sits next to her. He tells her that he paid the bill, and she asks why. He says he still has the mark, but she says she’s not interested. He asks what’s wrong with her, and why she’s so angry. She says she wouldn’t be if he hadn’t stolen her money. Oscar tells her she’s not getting it back, but he’s trying to help her, and Charles still asks about her. She tells him to leave her alone, and he says he’ll cancel her stay. She’s like, okay, and he wonders what her plan is. Candace says it’s to get him the hell away from her.

Oscar’s phone rings, and he asks about Quita being arrested. Candace asks what he knows about her. He says she robbed someone, and he wants information to do a recovery deal. She asks if it’s Jim, and Oscar says it’s his son; Jim’s trying to get back his inheritance. Candace says it should be easy; he’s an idiot, and Quita is a bigger idiot. She suggests she help him, but he says he’s got this already. He asks if she has any idea what First Ladies make after leaving office. The mark is primed ready to go, and she’d rather bully old men. He asks what happened? She had a fire in her when they met, but now she’s like a regular old whore, waiting for the next john. He says Jeffrey is sitting in jail for a murder she’s responsible for. Candace is surprised to hear that, and Oscar says if he was her, he’d think about securing his future in case Jeffrey decides to talk. He tells her she’s running out of time, and she tells him to get away from her. She calls Veronica, and leaves a message to call her back.

The morgue guy gives Hanna a plastic bag of Quincy Jr’s things. She takes out a piece of paper. It’s a letter that starts with, God, please help… Hanna clutches it to her chest, and says she’s sorry.

Justin gets Jeffrey out of his cell. Again? All the prisoners hoot and holler as they walk past. Justin takes Jeffrey to the interrogation room, and tells him to have a seat. Justin sits on the table and asks if he’s okay. He hates that Jeffrey is in there. He found David’s cell number, but he’s not answering. Jeffrey gives him the password to unlock his phone, and says try calling from there. Justin says he’ll be okay. Jeffrey asks to go back to his cell, but Justin says it’s shift change; they have time. He sits on Jeffrey’s lap and Jeffrey says someone could walk in. Justin says it’s more fun that way, and Jeffrey asks if Justin’s wife thinks it’s fun. He asks if Justin has talked to her. Justin says he doesn’t care; he just cares about Jeffrey. Jeffrey says she could make it worse for him being a judge. Justin says he knows Jeffrey loves him. Jeffrey says he barely knows him, and asks him to stop and just find his dad. Justin says if Jeffrey doesn’t love him, it will mean he did all this for nothing. He tells Jeffrey to say it, and Jeffrey says, I love you; now find his dad. Justin starts kissing him.

Landon asks Charles what’s going on? Charles can’t get his tablet to work. He doesn’t know what he’d do without Landon, and Landon says ditto. Charles says it’s just a job for him, but Landon says he’s wrong. He loves his job, but it’s also his pleasure to work for Charles. He admires and respects him. He hasn’t met anyone like him; he’s real, decent, and honest. He has true compassion for people. He tells Charles that his top-secret clearance is causing his apps not to work, but he’ll take care of it. He says Charles has a late start tomorrow, and asks if he wants to go for a drink. Charles says okay, but as his friend, not his employer.

David pours drinks for himself and Erica. His phone rings and he ignores it. Hers rings, and she decides to do the same. He asks what if it’s her ex, and she says she blocked the number. She looks at the phone, and says it’s her sister. She calls back, and it’s Candace. David wanders away, and Candace says she wants to get this bastard, or Erica’s ass will be dead. Erica says she’s sorry, and asks how she can make it up. Candace says a few hundred grand. Erica asks how much time, and Candace says when she calls back, Erica had better have it. Erica tells David that her sister was just checking up on her.

Veronica is wheeled into the hospital on a gurney, with Benny holding her hand. Hanna is coming toward them, and she and Benny lock eyes.

Next time, Jeffrey won’t talk to the DA, Justin is going to bash someone’s head in, and Melissa harasses Veronica in the hospital.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit needs an uber caffeine boost for her swimwear meeting. She was on the cusp of going to the next level, when she met PK, and postponed her career to start a family. She wouldn’t trade it for anything, but is ready to get back to work. She thinks it’s going to be a killer collection. Nava means beautiful in Hebrew, and is Phoenix’s middle name, so that’s what she’s calling the line. She wants to launch for resort 2017. I’m not sure when this was filmed, but her assistants tell her she’s cutting it short. She thinks the line should reflect her, and it’s agreed that red is having a moment.

Teddi, who is a nice balance for this show, is meeting Dorit for drinks at four. She’s punctual, and believes it’s polite. We’re totally on the same page there. I hate, hate, hate when someone keeps me waiting. It’s disrespectful. She has a glass of wine, and has been waiting for a half hour. In her interview, she says if she wanted to have some wine alone, she would have done it in the comfort of her home. After forty minutes, and a bunch of unanswered texts, she’s calling it a day. As soon as she asks for the check, Dorit tells us she was laser focused on her teleconference meeting. In her interview, Teddi says she’s not an electronical wizard but is pretty sure Dorit could have sent a text while she was on the phone. She tells Dorit, another time, and Dorit babbles that she didn’t realize. Dorit is about fifteen minutes away, but Teddi is like, later. Dorit is all, sorry, sorry, sorry. In her interview, Teddi says thanks for the apology, but it’s a different kind of person who doesn’t even realize they’re that late to meet someone.

Kyle says she doesn’t have swans or horses, but still feels like she has a zoo with all her dogs. Ha-ha! Yes, she does. The little one just peed on the wall. Rich people – they’re just like us. LisaR video chats from Canada. Kyle asks when she’s coming back. She’s filling in for Kelly on Kelly and whoever-it-is-now in the morning. In her interview, LisaR says she was very close to being Regis’s co-host, and does a decent impression of him.

Lisa goes to Vanderpump Dogs and plays with a puppy. She says it’s been a labor of love, and we look at different clips of their progress. She says they were throwing in with another organization, but decided it was too sketchy. She loves having the rescue center, even though it’s riddled with emotional turmoil. Every time they get a dog that was going to be euthanized a good home, it’s worth it. The staff shows her a stray dog they brought in from the street, and she says it looks like Ken. They show their pictures side by side, and by God, she’s right.

Kyle meets Erika for lunch, and orders beet juice. She asks about Tokyo, and Erika had a great time. LisaR’s daughters are doing well on the modeling front, cut her no slack, and it was hilarious. Kyle tells Erica that she has two shows in development. In her interview, Kyle says every time she has an idea, she thinks her sisters will be upset, but she has exceptional stories to tell. Erica tells her about Tom breaking his ankle in a car accident. In her interview, she says he’s a 78-year-old who’s 50. It sounds like the car didn’t make it though.

Erika confers with her assistant. They talk about jet lag, how you think you’re cool, and then you’re not, and I identify. Erika tells him about Tom’s accident, and says it could have been worse. In her interview, she says she realized that one day she’ll be alone, and things can change in a moment. It’s the first time she’s seen Tom not super human. He’s in a lot of pain, and he doesn’t like to acknowledge it. She saw a flash of fear, and she’d never seen that before. It’s scary.

Kyle visits Teddi’s gym. Teddi says for the first five minutes, Kyle might hate her. Instructor Adam teaches them on a climbing machine. Teddi says Kyle did better than she did the first time. Afterward, they go to a porridge bar, which I’ve never heard of, but sounds intriguing. Kyle gets a juice, and Teddi gets a salad. Where’s the porridge? Kyle tells Teddi that Dorit claimed she was twenty minutes late meeting Teddi, and she was annoyed. Teddi says she was waiting almost an hour. She gets it if someone is busy, but she hired a nanny for the kids and is there waiting, and Dorit couldn’t even text saying she was going to be late.

LisaR checks into the NYC hotel. Wow. A fruit plate, champagne, and all kinds of stuff. She immediately wipes down everything with alcohol wipes, then calls Harry. She tells him she’s been getting texts that are saying he’s mean, and he says he’s being firm. He’s determined to get the girls in shape. In her interview, LisaR says he’d say she was the more lenient parent. They talk about Amelia doing her own laundry. Amelia FaceTimes with her, and doesn’t understand why she’s being subject to such menial tasks. In her interview, LisaR says she wants to prepare them to be on their own. She knows it sounds like stuff everybody should do, but everybody doesn’t.

Dorit meets Kyle at a Mexican place for lunch, and manages to be on time. Dorit talks about being tardy only six minutes, and says it’s an unfair recollection of the truth. In her interview, she says they were supposed to meet at four thirty. Teddi’s leaving was abrupt, and she doesn’t understand why it happened. Kyle says she’d never wait an hour for anyone. I WANT HER EARRINGS. They’re rose gold tassels, and HUGE. Kyle talks about selling her show ideas. She starts to cry, telling Dorit how her mom was all about the girls sticking together, and a victory for one, was a victory for them all. She doesn’t feel like she can call them about it though. She doesn’t know the reaction she’d get, and her parents are gone, so she kept it to herself. She says she and her sisters used to talk every day, but it changed after she produced American Woman. She says the shows are inspired by her life, and not theirs. She tells us Mauricio worked for her brother-in-law for years, and when he struck out on his own, it changed the family dynamic.

LisaR tells the hair guy to make it look not frizzy. She talks about teasing Regis that she’d the next co-host. Kelly was perfect, but she was close, and loves coming back. She says the first time she co-hosted was seventeen years ago. If she had gotten the job, their lives would be different. When Harry said how happy he was in Beverly Hills, she knew it was right because, family first. I loved the show that she co-hosted with Ty Treadway, Soap Talk. Alas, it was on the Soap channel, that also is no more.

Hanky! Panky! Dorit visits LVP at Villa Rosa. But not long enough.

Kyle meet Camille and Teddi for lunch. They’re waiting for LisaR coming in from New York. Kyle asks if Teddi has talked to Dorit.

LVP and Dorit go out for lunch. LVP asks about Dorit having another baby, but she’s swaying toward not doing it. She has two toddlers, plus PK, and is starting the swimwear line. She’d be crazy to throw another baby in the mix. Dorit tells LVP about how upset Kyle was, not being able to share her success with her sisters. LVP is surprised that she was that open with someone she doesn’t know well. Dorit says she feels that they’ve bonded and have a connection. In her interview, LVP is surprised that Kyle was so overcome with emotion, and was showing it to Dorit. Dorit says she’s put off by Teddi right now.

Teddi isn’t irritated about Dorit being late anymore, but it bothers her that she changed it to twenty minutes.

Dorit shows LVP Teddi’s text at 4:36.

Teddi shows the girls the text where Dorit thought they were supposed to meet between 4:30 and 5:30. She wonders who gives between an hour to meet at a restaurant?

Dorit says she couldn’t have apologized more, but Teddi couldn’t wait any longer, even though she was ten minutes away. Another five minutes shaved off.

Teddi says she thought she could just get over it, but then Kyle said Dorit claimed she was only twenty minutes late.

Dorit says Teddi Claims she was kept waiting fifty-four minutes. She’s exaggerating times, and making her out to be an idiot and a bad guy.

Kyle says Dorit told her that she was six minutes late. In her interview, Camille says Dorit is a little bit self-absorbed, and a bottomless pit of BS. Teddi says she understands if you can’t make it, but don’t lie about it.

Dorit says she has strict time restraints that others might not understand. I choke on my coffee. LVP gets how important that can be, and says a friend gives you slack. LVP changes the subject to Dorit calling Camille a stupid c-word.

Camille says she was bringing David around for the first time, and she was nervous enough. She was embarrassed. She thinks Dorit talks and drinks too much, and might be desperate for attention. In her interview, Kyle thinks saying someone drinks too much is a big deal. I don’t. Dorit was talking too much because she was drinking too much. Kyle brings up LVP using the word, but Dorit isn’t British. It’s true. They don’t think as much of that word as we do.

Dorit says she doesn’t have an issue with Camille, but was just being stupid. LVP suggests Dorit look at it from Camille’s POV. She has a new boyfriend, and introduced him to the group for the first time. A light bulb comes on over Dorit’s head, as she realizes she might have been rude.

Camille says Dorit hurt her feelings. She was inappropriate, and it really is a nasty word.

LVP says Dorit can mess with her, but some people don’t have the same sense of humor. Maybe she needs to apologize. Dorit wonders why she always puts her foot in her mouth.

Camille says she’s getting Dorit a ball gag as a gift. In her interview, Kyle says Dorit’s mouth is like a tennis ball machine. LisaR arrives. She tells them how much fun she had, then blurts out that she knows “this little thing.” A “little lawsuit thing” with LVP. Allegedly something happened with Ken and a woman who was running a charity. Perhaps the sketchy organization LVP referred to? Allegedly, Ken assaulted her somehow. Kyle says assault implies physical violence, and he’d never do that. Ever. She tells LisaR that’s hard to believe, and gives her the evilest eye ever. I don’t buy it either. And little lawsuit thing? That’s just distasteful.

Next time, LVP attacks Kyle with a dog hair dryer, Harry talks to LisaR about the boys being after the girls, LVP addresses LisaR, and Kyle and Teddi have it out.

🏄  Summer House is returning – Monday, January 22, at 10 pm. I’m not sure why. I kinda, sorta, half-assed watched its first season, but once crossover Stassi (Vanderpump Rules) was gone, so was my interest. It’s like a mini Real World, but with older “kids.” Definite train wreck watching.

🍲 For those who like their cooking competitions with a Spanish flair, MasterChef Latino airs on Telemundo Sunday nights. Although I’ve enjoyed watching The Beastmaster in Spanish, I didn’t actually watch this show, but noticed it skimming around the digital guide, and thought it worthy of a mention.

To celebrate the middle of the week, employees at Gortney Industries built an actual hump.

Wednesday4

 

Jan16

January 15, 2017 – An Answer from PK Sinclair, Brittany Rages on, Shep & a Spaniel

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Carly shows Bobbie the condoms that fell out of Josslyn’s backpack.

At Kelly’s, Josslyn asks Oscar if they’re really going to do this. He says only if she’s sure. She is, and asks what about him? He says, totally.

As they watch Julian laughing with Kim, Diane tells Alexis the menu just got more interesting.

Anna sees Finn while she’s at the hospital to make an appointment. He asks how it’s going, she says apparently she’s getting back to normal – whatever normal is. She tells him that she’ll see him around, but he asks her to wait. He never really got to say goodbye.

Maxie thinks Nina might be able to convince Peter to pull the interview. She’s afraid for their lives. Lulu says it’s too late. The interview was already picked up by wire services. Maxie says there’s no way to stop the world from knowing that Nathan is Faison’s son.

Spinelli thinks his email to PK Sinclair is brilliant. Sonny looks at it, and says, that’s it? Spinelli says it’s more than enough. They’ll be hearing from PK Sinclair in no time. They can assume vanity runs in the family, and they’ll draw him out with praise. Spinelli receives a reply asking, who is this?

Bobbie tells Carly not to jump to conclusions. Carly asks if Bobbie thinks they want to use them for water balloons. Bobbie points out that the box hasn’t been opened, but Carly asks how does she know it’s the first time? She’s going to talk to Josslyn, but first, she has to make sure the moms are on the same page.

Very obviously, peeking over her menu, Alexis eavesdrops on Kim and Julian’s conversation. Ava comes in, and Diane makes a snarky remark. Ava says at least she’s not reading the menu upside down. Alexis gets all flustered, and Ava laughs at her, since the menu was fine. Ava says it must be tough to read when her mind is elsewhere. She wonders if her former sister-in-law is becoming a regular there.

Anna say she read Finn’s note; he didn’t have to say anything else. Finn thought it was better that way, and Anna hopes he and Roxie are happy back in their natural habitats. He says they’re good, and thanks her for understanding. She says it was awkward, pretending to be couple. Finn says they didn’t really know each other, but got good at pretending. Anna says Cassandra is no longer a threat, and Finn says, and here we are. He asks if she’s doing any better. The last time he saw her, she was running out with a gun and a broken clock. Anna says now she knows who put Cassandra out of commission. Finn says he’d ask, but knows she’d have to kill him if she told him. She says they’re both back in their natural habitats, and it was best before things got out of hand; they dodged a bullet. Finn says, lucky us, and she holds out her hand. Anna tells Finn to take care, and they gaze at each other for like, thirty seconds. She goes back to the desk, and he watches. When he leaves, she wipes a tear away.

Maxie can’t believe this is happening. Nathan tells her that he gave the interview to draw Faison out of hiding. She asks what he’s going to do next, take a baseball bat to a wasp’s nest? Faison feeds on fear. Lulu tells her to calm down for the baby’s sake. Maxie says, the baby Faison steals in her dreams? Thanks to Lulu, he’s going to come after the baby in real life.

Spinelli says, now they reel him in. He responds that he’s an admirer, saying they have something in common. A relationship with Isaac Refson, an anagram of Faison’s name. In the fastest email reply ever, PK Sinclair says that Isaac Refson Is a fictional character. Spinelli writes back that fact is stranger than fiction. They both know he’s PK’s father.

Carly sees Kim, and Bobbie tells her to take a breath. Surprisingly, Bobbie leaves, and Carly tells Kim that they have to talk about the kids. Kim has rounds, and asks if they can talk another time. Carly shows her the condoms, and says these belong to her son. She found them in Josslyn’s backpack. Kim suggests maybe they belong to Josslyn. Carly says they’re planning on having sex. She overheard Josslyn tell Oscar that the Mad Hatter’s Ball will be a special night that will blow his mind. IMO, it actually sounds like they’re going to take drugs, but I’m sure it will turn out to be something totally innocuous. Kim says at least they’re using protection, and Carly guesses they’re done. Kim says Carly is right. Obviously, they’re too young for sex, but if they’re thinking about it, she’s relieved they’ve discussed the ramifications and responsibilities that come with an adult decision. Carly says Kim needs to tell Oscar to take a cold shower. He’s clearly the instigator. Kim asks how she knows it’s not her daughter? Really. And Josslyn has been the aggressor throughout their relationship so far. I’m not faulting her for it. It just is what it is.

Josslyn tells Oscar it’s a big step. Oscar says not everyone will think they’re doing the right thing, but it’s right for them. She can’t wait for the ball.

Julian approaches the table, and Alexis says she left the oven on. Diane says she did too. Ava asks what happened to Julian’s window; she noticed it was boarded up. He tells her about the brick, and Alexis says it’s intimidation from whoever wants to make changes in the neighborhood. Julian says it’s nothing to be worried about, but Alexis says Molly lives across the street. Ava wonders what’s really going on with Alexis.

Maxie tells Lulu that he was just singing her praises to Peter, saying that if she wanted a big story, she wouldn’t stop until she got it. Peter walks in, and says Lulu is a born reporter, and Maxie should thank her. Maxie says she thought of career more than anything, but Peter says Nathen is the one who initiated the story, and she’s a good reporter. Nathan asks Peter to share any information he might get with the PCPD. All of a sudden, Maxie doubles over in pain. Nathan says he’ll take her to the hospital. Lulu says she’ll come too, but Maxie says she’s done enough. When they’re gone, Lulu wails, what have I done?

Diane walks into Sonny’s office, and asks if this is a conversation she shouldn’t be hearing. Sonny asks if she’s billing him, and she says no, she’s billing Jason. She tells Jason he’s giving away everything. Spinelli says his offshore holdings are doing well, but Diane says his Port Charles holdings took a hit. She tells them that Nathan gave an interview about being Faison’s son, and it’s going viral. Spinelli grabs his coat, saying Maxie was adamant that no one should know, and now it’s trending. He wants to make sure she’s okay. He jets, and Diane asks if Sonny wants to tell his lawyer what he’s been up to.

Anna punches the bag at the gym. Felicia asks what the bag ever did to her. She wonders if Anna is pretending it’s Faison, and says she guesses Anna heard. She tells Anna that Maxie confided in Mac, who confided in her. Maxie swore them to secrecy, but now Nathan did an interview. Anna says she knew from Sonny and Jason. Felicia says she’s not asking why Anna is fraternizing with hoodlums. Anna says that Sonny dug up the information that Faison has another son. They want to find him, since they think that will pull Faison out. She told them to leave it alone, but doesn’t think they will. Either way, Faison is on his way back to Port Charles (YES!!!). Anna says she’s got to keep on the defensive at all times, at all costs. Felicia doesn’t think she’s talking about Faison.

Carly says Kim is right; she shouldn’t point fingers. They’re both hormonal teenagers, and they’re good kids. Kim isn’t suggesting they look the other way; they’re not ready. Carly thinks they should present a united front. She’s concerned about them rushing in without thinking about the consequences. Kim says at the end of the day, they’re still going to do what they want. She has an emergency, and leaves. Bobbie tells Carly motherhood is a job that never ends. They go to get coffee.

Kim sees Maxie, and asks what’s wrong? Maxie tells her she has abdominal pain, and says please don’t let anything happen to the baby.

Peter says Lulu isn’t thinking clearly. Lulu says Maxie is right to be worried. She put her career first, and look what happened? Peter says what happened is, her story might flush out the most wanted felon. She thanks him for being supportive, and he hugs her. Spinelli walks in, and Lulu says her boss just reminded her that there’s no crying in journalism. She introduces them, reminding me that Spinelli’s first name is Damien. He was hoping to find Maxie, but Lulu tells him she’s at GH; she was having abdominal pains. Spinelli wants to know why no one called an ambulance, but Peter says Nathan took her, since it didn’t seem serious. Spinelli wonders if Peter is also an obstetrician. Lulu explains that he and Maxie have a daughter together, and Peter says he understands Spinelli’s concern. After he leaves, Spinelli says Lulu told the world that Nathan is Faison’s son, and Maxie has already been rushed to the hospital. Lulu says she already feels bad.

Sonny explains to Diane that they’re hoping to lure PK Sinclair out, to lead them to his homicidal father. Diane thinks that might not be necessary if Faison sees the interview. Should it result in any number of felonies, she wants to remind Sonny and Jason of self-incrimination. They’re to remain silent unless she’s present. She says Sonny can be chatty. Jason is a prosecutor’s dream, but a nightmare in civil court. Maybe Sonny can convince him that he can provide for Sam and Danny without signing everything over.

Ava asks Julian if Alexis is there all the time, but he says she’s keeping tabs on Molly. Ava wonders if that’s why she gasped about the broken window. Julian insists she’s just worried about Molly, but Ava says it was his window that was broken; not Molly’s. Julian says Alexis has moved on; she’s dating a doctor. Ava says it appears Alexis isn’t the only one who’s moved on.

Finn and Alexis chat after a 12-step meeting. They agree the meeting was relentlessly dour. Finn says thank God the holidays are over, but Alexis says that Valentine’s Day is a real minefield. He thanks her for speaking at the meeting. He admires her courage. She says she’s a lawyer. She likes to talk, and likes to have the last word before a jury. Finn says there are no juries there, but she says the one in her head. He asks if guilt works, and she says guilt and shame, as long as you do it to yourself. If she didn’t give herself a reasonable dose of guilt, what kind of person would she be? Finn says, human?

Anna tells Felicia that false reality is common in spy work. They got so good at pretending, they somehow convinced themselves. Felicia says she had them convinced. Anna says it was fun, surprisingly so. Felicia says there’s no shame in having fun. Anna says Faison is out there; Finn would be a target to use as leverage, like Robin. Felicia realizes she broke it off to protect him. Anna says she had to, and Felicia suggests she’s protecting herself from herself. Anna asks what she’s talking about, and Felicia says she’s shutting herself off because of Faison. She thinks they should talk about the real problem. The thing that makes her vulnerable. Anna says that’s if she cared about him, and Felicia says she does. Anna says that’s why he can’t be in her life. She has to push him away for both their sakes.

Alexis asks Finn what he would have said, and he says it can’t leave the room. She asks him to hand her a doughnut, calling it legal tender, and says she’s his lawyer now. He tells her that he’s really scared, and she asks what about? He tells her a couple years ago, he lost his wife to a disease that he cured, but not in time. He thought he’d never care about anyone again, but he was wrong. He and Hayden were going to marry and have baby, but it fell apart, and he lost them. He doesn’t want to lose anyone again; he doesn’t think he can take it. He says alcohol and drugs are just symptoms. What’s the real addiction? Alexis says it’s a who. A person caused her to make bad decisions, and sacrifice her integrity. She still sees him. Every time she turns around he’s there, and the worst part is, she loves him. it’s a hard habit to kick.

Julian tells Ava it’s her imagination. She says she doesn’t think it is, calling him “Charlie,” like Kim did. He asks how about her and ex priest? She tells him that Griff gave her a wonderful gift. She’s getting the treatment to remove her scars. If she can get a new lease on life, he can too.

Carly picks up a mitten outside of Kelly’s. She and Bobbie talk about how fast Josslyn grew up. Bobbie says it seems like another lifetime, even though it was just a few years ago. One minute, Lucas was an adorable little boy, she blinked, and he’s a doctor with a husband. They can’t keep them children forever. Carly looks through the window, and sees Josslyn and Oscar.

Diane tells Jason that he’s officially divorced, and gives him a copy of the paperwork. She says she did the best she could, considering his near suicidal generosity. Jason says it’s not about the money. Diane says it’s her job to safeguard his legal and financial interests, but if making Sam happy is his objective, he failed. She’ll never be happy with Drew. She might have been if Jason hadn’t come back, but he did, and she loves him. Even a lawyer can see that.

Bobbie tells Carly now’s her chance for that mother/daughter talk. In front of Oscar?

Finn tells Alexis that he’s better off alone, and she says they’re not supposed to be in a relationship for a year after starting the program. He says he’s talking about forever, but Alexis says that’s an abyss she doesn’t want to stare into. Finn thinks he’s at his best when on his own, and she asks if that’s an assessment or rationalization. He says both. She says she’s between scorched earth and uncharted territory, and has to keep an eye on the road. Finn says he has to stay on the road he knows, and out of the fast lane.

Felicia tells Anna that Finn was brave enough to take on the cartel; Faison isn’t going to scare him off. Anna says he has a knee-jerk knight-in-shining-armor thing, which wouldn’t be so bad, if his only weapons weren’t sarcasm and medical research. There are things he can’t know about for his own safety.

Spinelli tells Lulu if the story lands Faison in prison, Maxie will thank her. Lulu hopes he’s right. If anything happens, she won’t forgive herself.

Kim tells Maxie that she and the baby are doing fine. Maxie is glad it’s nothing, but wishes it didn’t feel like a swordfight in her belly. Kim says to keep stress to a minimum. When she’s out of earshot, Maxie asks Nathan how she’s supposed to do that, when she knows Faison is the baby’s grandfather. She just wants it to be over. Nathan says tomorrow is their wedding anniversary, and promises it will be a day she’ll treasure forever.

Sonny tells Jason that Diane is a pita, but most of the time, she’s right. Why not tell Sam that he loves her and wants her back? How will he know if he doesn’t ask? Spinelli gets an email from PK Sinclair saying he referred to the sequel, and asks if they read the end. Sonny asks how it ends.

Tomorrow, Kim talks to Oscar, Michael wants answers from Nelle, and Sonny says they’ll use Faison’s son to figure it out.

Vanderpump Rules

Rewind to the housewarming party. Around 1:30 am. Ariana doesn’t want to tell Brittany something she doesn’t want to hear, but Brittany says, let’s do it. Jax is laughing with his dudes in the kitchen. It reminds me of this picture in my wedding album. A friend’s date was partying with my husband’s friends, and it looks like he’s having the time of his life, laughing away. There’s a clock on the wall behind him, and I know that within an hour from then, people will be banging on the bathroom door where he’s locked himself in, and is getting sick. It’s like that moment when everything is THE BEST! and then it nosedives downhill. On the recording, Jax said he doesn’t want kids or marriage, and hasn’t had sex with Brittany in months. Brittany announces that she’s going to put it on speaker phone, and asks for everyone’s attention. Jax looks like he might pass out. She tells him he’s a piece of sh*t and should rot in hell. Jax is hustled out. Tom says Brittany doesn’t want to do this, but Ariana tells him to shut up. Jax asks Tom if he can explain what’s going on. The amazing part is that Jax has lived as long as he has being as stupid as he is.

James interrupts. Lala says she’s done with these men thinking they can do what they want. On the recording, Jax says Faith is the best sex he’s had. He’s not even attracted to Brittany anymore and doesn’t like being with her sexually. At Schwartz’s place, Jax says he cheated, did everything wrong, and he’s “going through it,” whatever that means. Tom slips away to get some alcohol. Jax throws a phone. Schwartz says it’s his phone, and he needs that.

The girls gather around Brittany. James tries to insert his opinion, which is a bad idea, and Stassi tells him to get the eff out. Jax tells the guys that the relationship is done. We can dream. James joins them, saying it was Lala and Ariana. Jax wonders why they’d do that. Tom thinks playing the recording after hours of drinking is a horrible idea, and wonders if Ariana is out of her mind. He’s disgusted, but having a hard time saying the word “disgusted,” since he’s drunk. Try “certificate of occupancy” sometime. Ariana says it was brought to her. Tom asks if she couldn’t have waited, but she says it was on Lala’s phone. She didn’t approach Brittany. Tom says she should have had the wherewithal to know it wasn’t the right time. In her interview, she says he’s taking d-bag Jax’s side instead of hers. She keeps telling him it’s not on her phone, and calls him a d*ck for having Jax’s back. She leaves, slamming the door behind her, and he says, get out of here. In that order. I laugh.

Lisa tells Peter that James is coming to see her. Like the leprechaun he is, James appears. He thought of a better name – James Kennedy presents See You Next Tuesday. Lisa is like, thanks for giving me a heads up. He feels like it’s going to be something fresh. She tells him to behave himself; it’s his night. In his interview, he says it’s make it or break it. He even passed out flyers, sweating like a prostitute, to make this party happen. He says he’s good to not drink for a week after the housewarming party, and tells Lisa about the recording. He says they played it, and it was awful. In his interview, he says he actually stole the recording off of Faith’s phone, and sent it to himself.

Lala, Tom, and Ariana go to Scheana’s for breakfast. Lala is extremely hungover. Tom wonders how the recording ended up in Brittany’s hands. Ariana says Brittany told them she wanted to know everything, but Tom thinks not in the wee hours of the morning, after she’s been drinking all night. Ariana says she’s not going to always have the best answer all the time, and is irritated that Tom is questioning her.

We see the aftermath of the housewarming party. I’d leave that mess for Jax. Jax comes in, and Brittany is cleaning the kitchen. He has no words. She asks what that means. She says she shouldn’t have played it, and he had no idea she was even going to hear it. He says she gave her word not to drag everyone else in, and she tells him quit trying to blame her. He’s embarrassed that he got caught, and is trying to turn it around. He says it was so wrong in so many ways. Brittany is so young. Why is she settling like this?

Ariana tells Tom that she can’t deal with someone saying she’s making sh*t up. Whenever he disagrees with her, he tells her what he would have done and how it would have been better. Tom just wants her to take responsibility, saying she never does that.

Brittany tells Jax to get mad at them, not her. She was drunk and pissed off, and had a right to be. She calls him a dirty human being who has no remorse. It’s his fault not hers. He tells her to take responsibility, and tells him she’s not doing this anymore.

Ariana says Tom doesn’t like her as a person, and they should just break the eff up. He asks when the last time was that she apologized to him for anything she’s done?

Lala talks to new girl Billie, who says she just went through a break up, and she’s starting over. He wanted to have kids, but she’s trans and can’t have her own. She exchanges numbers with Lala, who promises an invite to the next dramafest get together.

Stassi, Patrick, Katie, and Schwartz (a law firm) go to bar (a joke) hidden behind a bookshelf. In her interview, Stassi says you won’t find any commoners there. Stassi cracks me up. Katie says Schwartz has a man crush on Patrick. Katie tells Schwartz no Jager bombs; he’s been a bad boy. This prompts Schwartz to tell Patrick about making out with a friend of Lala’s when he was drunk. In his interview, he says Patrick is good at adulting, and he needs to get his sh*t together. Schwartz says he’s intimidated by Patrick’s wit being so on point. Patrick says if it rains, you can bring an umbrella, but can only control how you react to the rain. He’s a regular Confucius. Katie tells them about the recording. In her interview, Stassi says if your friends are a reflection of you, what must Patrick think?

James brings Lala and Tom along to the studio. Lala is doing some sampling, and Tom has brought his trumpet. James is hung over AF. He thinks people want him to fail, and Tom suggests not giving them a reason. Lala is pumped for James’s new gig. She’s happy to have him back on the mothership. Lala sings her three lines, and everyone thinks it’s amazing. Tom says his trumpet is an expression of his feelings, and he loses himself in the music. He calls it awesome, but I call it something else. Lala says it’s like being in a pack of baby dolphins learning to communicate for the first time, and I’d say that’s pretty accurate.

Katie and Stassi visit Brittany. Brittany says Jax stays in his room, and they haven’t even seen each other. She says he’s a different person whenever she talks to him, and she wants to be around her friends. In her interview, Stassi says six years ago, she was in the same position, and wonders when women will realize Jax isn’t worth dating. She tells Brittany that she didn’t do anything, Jax did. They agree it’s no way to live.

Peter has been given the task of keeping an eye on James. James says it’s crazy to be back at SUR. Ariana and Tom are working, but she’s barely speaking to him. He says he loves her, and wants to be able to work it out. Stassi wonders why Jax is there, and why he can’t let Brittany work in peace. Because he’s Jax. James tosses glow sticks to the crowd. Are those still a thing, or is he trying to make them happen again? He tells everyone to make some noise. He didn’t expect the crowd to be this big, and is getting a rush from playing his own music. Lisa thinks Jax isn’t there to support James, but to get under Brittany’s skin. She asks what about mea culpa, but Jax doesn’t know what that means. Schwartz explains, and Jax says he should have finished college. You mean he finished high school?

Scheana is hiding in the kitchen. She doesn’t want to serve Jax and the crowd. She’s upset about her boyfriend being accused of cheating. Katie comes back, and says it’s a mess out there. Ariana says every time she comes back to get something, she takes longer. Scheana asks if she and Katie can stop talking about each other’s relationships, and tells Katie the rumor about Rob is BS. In her interview, Katie says Scheana is obsessed with presenting Rob as perfect. She thinks it might be because people criticized her for moving on too fast after her divorce.

Lisa tells James, nice turnout. He says she saved him, and she says she had to give him tough love. He thanks her, and she tells him not to screw it up. He tells her she looks beautiful, and calls her my queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scheana says she’s sick of this Rob thing. People have nothing better to talk about it. Tom thinks she should stop talking about it, and she says she’s putting it to bed for real.

Brittany stops to see Lisa before she leaves for the night. Lisa says it’s gone from bad to worse. Brittany says they’re not talking, but he won’t leave. Lisa asks why put up with it, but Brittany doesn’t know. She knows she deserves better than this, but isn’t being strong right now. She says she’s really sad, and Lisa tears up. She wonders what Jax needs to do for Brittany to understand the relationship isn’t beneficial. She tells Brittany that she has the world at her feet, and not to go running back to Kentucky. In her interview, Brittany says it isn’t black and white. She tells Lisa that she’ll be fine when she gets her confidence back up. Lisa says she looks better than she has in months, and Brittany says, revenge body.

Scheana asks to talk to Jen. She tells Jen there’s a rumor about Rob making out with someone who works at the same place Jen does. (Not SUR.) Jen says it’s a friend of hers. She’d asked Jen if she knew Scheana, and said the guy she used to date is dating Scheana now, but kissed her the other night. Scheana says Rob made light of it, but Jen says it was probably more inappropriate than you’d want a boyfriend to behave. Somehow, Scheana turns this around to interpret it that Jen is telling her the same thing Rob did.

Tom and Ariana sit in the back, outside behind SUR. She’s glad the night is over. She says she and Tom get wrapped up in other people’s stress and the stress of working, and it’s not them or what she wants for them. Tom feels like she was put in a bad position, being given the information. Ariana says she was drunk, and didn’t know what to do. She feels like Tom didn’t hear her. In her interview, she thinks he could be more empathetic, and she needs to stop taking some things so personally. They apologize to each other for getting so angry.

Brittany calls her mom. She says they’ve been going through a lot. Her mom says hard to trust someone who cheats. Brittany thinks she should give another try at making things work out, but if he goes back to his old ways, they won’t be together. In her interview, Brittany tells us that her mother has been married four times. She just wants that one special man. Her mom tells her to follow her heart, and Brittany says she’s been praying about it. Everyone deserves forgiveness, even Jax. While I agree, forgiveness doesn’t mean you stick around to let them do it again. It’s not dispensation from consequence.

Brittany goes into the living room, otherwise known as Camp Jax. She says it will be bad for a while, but she loves him too much not to try. She wants them to get therapy, and the way he talks to her has to change. He says what about how they talk to each other. She’s like, seriously? Me too. I hate that stuff, trying to defect the problem by shoving it onto the other person. She tells him that she’s taking a risk to stay; it’s embarrassing. He says it’s not his fault – I have no words – but she says it is; he’s the one who did it. He says he should have handled it differently. In his interview, he says it takes two, and it’s not all him. Cheating was wrong, but what did it take for him to do that? Even if he believes the crap that comes out of his own mouth, he must be extra stupid to say these things out loud. Why? Why does she stay with him? Does she watch this show? Brittany wants Jax to swear he’ll change. He knows what he has to do, but wishes he could hit pause. He wants one day without thinking about it. He promises nothing will ever happen again. I just can’t.

Next time, Pride Day (didn’t we just do that?), Scheana cries, Lala has it out with James, and Brittany’s mom visits.

👱 RelationShep had its finale tonight. Peyton and Priscilla were left, but Shep didn’t pick either one. Instead, he went to NYC, and hunted Bella down. She was the brunette he did the mystery room adventure thing with, where they had to find a key to get themselves out. At the end, we were told to tune into Southern Charm if we want to see how it turned out. Was this just one big commercial for Southern Charm? Regardless, it was fun to watch, and I hope Shep gets a love connection out of it. He revisited some interesting family trivia tonight. His family bred the first Boykin Spaniels, and we got to see a couple of puppies. I don’t see another season of this happening, although if sparks fly, he and Bella might be a fun couple to watch. Mostly fluff, it was nice to see something lighthearted in the midst of all the drama.

BoykinSpaniel

The Boykin Spaniel (it kind of looks like Shep)

 

Jan13

January 12, 2018 – The Jackal Makes a Move, Random Useless TV Information, HexaQuotes, a Nomad & Loverboy

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

The beginning was interrupted for a weather report. News flash – it’s still raining.

Jason tells Sam the money never mattered; he just wants her to be okay. She says she knows. She starts to sign the papers, but Alexis advises her not to sign just yet. She’d be remiss not discussing the issue of Danny’s custody. Diane says there is no issue. Jason is the father biologically and legally. Alexis says he isn’t the father Danny knows; Drew is.

Oscar meets Drew at the gym. He suddenly forgot he needs to study, and says see you later. Drew asks why he wanted to meet. Oscar says it’s stupid, but he wanted Drew to teach him to fight. I wonder if Oscar irritates himself sometimes.

Josslyn says the dress she’s wearing is hideous, and she looks like a sister wife. Carly disagrees. Sonny says she looks beautiful, and asks if Carly doesn’t have the same dress. Josslyn says, says kill me now.

Nina isn’t too enthusiastic about working. She didn’t want to leave her family, and says Maxie is lucky; she can bring her family with her. Maxie says unfortunately, what she feels, the baby feels, and she doesn’t want the baby stressed. Nina says she can go home, but Maxie says it doesn’t help to protect her family. Nina asks, from what?

Lulu and Nathan meet at Charlie’s. She tells him spreading truth is the best way to flush Faison out of hiding. She asks Nathan how he felt, finding out one of the most wanted criminals in the world is his father?

Nina asks Maxie what’s going on? Maxie says PBAs, GMOs; there are so many poisons out there that can harm her baby. Nina suggests reading labels and not using old hairspray. She understands wanting to protect your family, and Maxie asks how far she’d go to protect hers. Nina would go all the way, and knows Maxie would too. She asks what’s wrong. Maxie says it’s Nathan’s father. His father isn’t Victor. It’s someone much worse, who’s alive and kicking.

Fastest. Interview. Ever. Lulu thinks Nathan calling Faison a nicotine stained relic, not fit for a family about sums it up. She says it’s better to add insult to injury, and tells him to look for it tomorrow morning. He begs her to keep Maxie’s name out of it. She says everyone knows they’re married after the Ask Man Landers article, but he says just don’t make it a focus. She says if they played this correctly, when Faison shows his face, it will be to Nathan.

Kim asks Julian for some coffee. She notices one of Sonny’s cardboard counter ads, and says she sees he’s the proud purveyor of Corinthos coffee.

Josslyn says Oscar will be embarrassed to be seen with her, but Carly says he’d love her in a sack. Josslyn asks Sonny if he has any extra coffee bags. Sonny asks if she has something else in mind, and Josslyn says she’ll put it on right now. Sonny asks Carly what’s going on? She tells him, teenage drama. He says that’s the way it starts, but then it always turns into something else.

Oscar says he figured it’s something every guy should know, and he can’t exactly ask his mom. Drew tells him to never discount women. Oscar says sorry to bother him, but Drew calls him back. He says he’s not prying, but if Oscar really wants to learn, he’ll teach him. Lesson number one: he needs workout clothes.

Alexis says it’s her obligation to bring up the custody issue. Diane says if that’s the case, everything else is off the table, and they’ll see each other in court. Alexis tells her that Danny knows no father but Drew, and Diane says it’s through no fault of Jason’s. Alexis says out of fear for Jake’s safety, Jason let Lucky claim him as his own. Diane can’t wait to get it before a judge, so Alexis can give her insight into Jason’s thoughts. Alexis says it makes sense that he’d use the same consideration for Danny, and take himself out of his son’s life.

Nina asks Maxie, why take Obrecht’s word? Peter interrupts, telling Nina that her budget is out of control. He hands her one that works. She asks if he doesn’t have subordinates to do that, and he tells her that he takes an active role, so the team feels they can come to him directly. A successful company isn’t just a business; it’s a family. Maxie looks at him weird, probably thinking what a lot of us are – Peter is the traitor.

Drew begins to instruct Oscar, telling him power comes from his core. Oscar makes the same mistake I always do when kickboxing, and drops his hands. Drew tells him to protect himself at all times, and shows him how to do jabs. He says Oscar is doing good, and Oscar asks what if the guy is bigger? Drew tells him it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog. There are ways to fight a bigger guy using leverage. It’s more involved, but he can teach him. It would help though, if Oscar let him know what he’s facing.

Sonny tells Carly it’s a dress, not a crisis; just let her wear it. They’ve got to give them some freedom. Carly says she’ll remind him about this when Avery is a teenager. Dress provocatively, and a reputation will follow. He says if he’d figured out a way to talk to Kristina, she might not have made the mistakes she did. He suggests not being so controlling, and letting them figure it out.

Alexis says it would be in Danny’s best interest to allow Drew to be his father, unless Jason renounces organized crime. Sam says they’ve already talked about this, and she won’t sign anything limiting Jason from Danny’s life. Diane says she’s being sensible, and Sam asks for the pen.

Carly asks Sonny thinks she’s controlling, but he says ask Josslyn. His phone rings, and he tells her that he needs to meet up with Jason. Maybe they can work out a compromise. Carly says he hates compromise, but he says he does it for the people he loves.

Oscar tells Drew that there’s a guy who doesn’t like the way other people act. He’s not getting in their faces, but he’s had enough. Drew asks if he’s talking about himself?

Kim messes with Julian’s coffee machine, and tells him about transferring to GH from Mercy. He says at least she has training and experience in service. The industry is new to him. She asks why get into it, and he tells her that he was lonely.

Sam signs the papers. Alexis says they need to be filed, but for all intents and purposes, the marriage is dissolved, and they’re free to move on. Diane says, good luck with that, and leaves. Jason says, about Danny… and Sam says they don’t have to talk about it. She would never do anything to keep him away. Jason gets a call, and has to go. Alexis tells Sam it wasn’t easy, and Sam says she made it worse. Alexis says as Sam’s attorney, she was only doing her job. Sam says, not anymore. She’s fired.

Nathan goes to the Crimson office, and asks if Maxie can spare a minute. Nina asks Peter if they’re done, and he leaves. Nathan thinks they should tell Nina what they found out, but Nina says she knows that Faison is Nathan’s father. Maxie says she couldn’t keep it in, but outside of a handful of people, no one needs to know. Nina says no one ever will. Nathan adds, until the paper comes out tomorrow.

Jason goes back to Sonny’s office, and says it’s over. Spinelli says they need a better grasp of Faison’s antagonist, and perhaps a means of apprehending him.

Lulu asks what Peter thinks. He says it’s gold.

Maxie asks what Nathan was thinking. He says they can catch him and put him away. She can’t believe Lulu would do this. Nathan says don’t blame Lulu, but Nina blames her – and him for talking to the press. Maxie says Faison is going to come looking for him, but Nathan says they can’t live their lives waiting. Nina says what if Faison thinks the easiest way to get to him is through his wife?

Sam tells Alexis that Jason already gave up everything. Is he supposed to give up his son too? He deserves the opportunity to be a father. Danny already likes him, and no one is taking him away  – ever. Alexis asks what if something happens to her? Will she be okay if a mob enforcer has custody, and not Drew? Sam says she trusts Jason to make the right decision. Alexis isn’t sure about Jason’s definition of safe and secure, but Sam says he’s generous and brave, and he loves without holding back. She wants him to teach their son all those things. It’s her life, her son, her divorce, and she’ll handle them as she sees fit. She tells Alexis to stay out of it, and don’t use her as an excuse to distract herself from Julian.

Julian tells Kim that he just broke the cardinal rule of bartending. He’s supposed to be the one listening to confessions, not giving them. She says she’s a doctor, and she’s used to it. She asks if he’s still lonely, and he says he’s talking to her. His ex got the friends in the divorce. She tells him that she lives alone with her son, and thanks to her schedule, she has no social life. She’s in the market for new friends. They introduce themselves.

Drew asks Oscar if he’s getting bullied, but he says it’s not him. Drew says it’s a little mysterious, but Oscar doesn’t want to name names, and no one is asking him to butt in. Drew prefers to call it stepping in, and says it’s admirable. He says Oscar is a good kid. Defending someone who can’t defend themselves is a good thing, and asking for help is smart. He reminds Oscar that fighting is a last recourse. The world isn’t fair, and can be a rough place. They start training again.

Josslyn comes down in a sparkly black dress. She asks what Carly thinks.

Diane asks Alexis if she wants to go to lunch. Alexis rants that she was just doing her job, and Diane tells her that Sam will calm down. Alexis says she had good intentions, but Sam made it about Julian. She says Sam is just trying to piss her off, and Diane says it worked. Diane says she thought Alexis was dating David, but Alexis says it didn’t work out, and it has nothing to do with Julian. Diane tells Alexis she didn’t say it did, and Alexis says she was thinking it. Diane says she was thinking about lunch.

Sam watches Drew talk to Oscar at the gym. Drew says he’ll teach Oscar everything he knows, but hopes he never needs to use it. He should always try to get out of a fistfight, but if that doesn’t happen, don’t back down. He needs to take care of himself. Sam asks if she missed class. Drew tells Oscar it was fun, and hopes they can do it again. Oscar leaves, and Sam asks if it was his idea or Drew’s. Drew says it was actually Oscar’s, and asks if everything went okay. Sam says the papers are signed; she and Jason are divorced. Drew asks if she told him they’re paying back every penny for Aurora. Sam says he knows, but it doesn’t matter to him. Drew says it means something to him; honor. Sam says there was one exception – Danny.

Carly takes Josslyn to the mirror, and asks what she says. Josslyn says herself in a beautiful dress. Carly sees that too, but wonders what the boys at the dance will see, and she’s not talking about Oscar. One wrong idea, and the whole school will be Snapchatting. Why let anyone shame her? Josslyn says she likes the dress. Carly tells her in a perfect world, she could wear what she wanted, and no one would make her feel bad, but the world isn’t perfect. Women need to be smarter, stronger, and tougher to make it through. Right or wrong, what they wear sends a message, and it can be taken wrong. Josslyn says she just wants to feel pretty, but Carly says she can feel pretty showing less skin. It’s not fair, but she thinks the dress could cause reactions Josslyn isn’t ready for. Slut shaming wasn’t a phrase when Carly went through it. Is she ready for that? Carly will back her, and it’s her decision, but if she’s not 100% ready to wear it and face the challenges that come with it, there’s another choice. She shows Josslyn a designer dress in Crimson. Josslyn asks if Carly would get it for her, and Carly asks if she’ll wear it. Josslyn hugs her, and says it’s a great alternative. Okay, I just need to have a mini-rant here. They should have picked a different dress. The one Josslyn is wearing has no sleeves and a V-neckline, but it shows nothing. No cleavage, it’s not short, and I can’t imagine anyone getting “slut shamed” for it, especially considering what kids wear in real life. I’m baffled as to why they chose it for an example. Okay, done.

Nathan tells Nina that he has no reason to believe Faison would harm him or Maxie. Obrecht didn’t hide him because she was worried Faison would hurt him, but didn’t want him to follow in Faison’s footsteps. Nina asks what about when he realizes Nathan isn’t what he wanted. Maxie says it’s a matter of life or death. She knows he thinks he can handle Faison, and maybe he can, but she’s asking him not to.

Peter tells Lulu the interview is somewhat incendiary. She says it has to get Faison’s attention. Hopefully, it will lead to her getting an exclusive from him to tell his side. Nathan calls her, and says she has to call it off; pull the interview. She asks why, and he says something happened; he’ll get into it later. Just make sure it doesn’t see print. She tells him it’s not that simple, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to go public as being Faison’s son. Lulu tells Peter that he has to pull the interview,

Spinelli says he has PK Sinclair’s email. Very few security systems can withstand The Jackal. It was only used to exchange email with publisher. All communication ceased, but that didn’t stop the publisher from trying to contact him. He reached out again in a recent inquiry. The author didn’t respond, but there was also nothing to indicate the account was closed, and the email had been opened. Someone is monitoring the account. Sonny says that means they can communicate with them.

Sam tells Drew there’s no reason to involve lawyers. They all want what best for Danny, and there’s no reason they can’t work it out. She tells him about firing Alexis, and says they can officially get married again.

Diane takes Alexis to Charlie’s. She wants to try the avocado toast. Alexis doesn’t want to go in, but Diane doesn’t see what the big deal is. Alexis wouldn’t listen to her repeated warnings, so maybe familiarity will breed contempt.

Kim tells Julian to try the coffee maker. It works, and he asks what she did. She tells him she turned it on; the power button is in the back. Alexis and Diane see them laughing.

Oscar drops by to get Josslyn, and Carly asks if he has a suit for the dance. He thought nice jeans would be fine. Josslyn tells Carly they’re going to the library, and Carly says she expects them to be there. Josslyn says she’ll text when they need a ride. They leave, but Josslyn forgets her backpack. Carly picks it up, and condoms fall out.

Spinelli says he took the liberty of generating an email address, but no way will it point in their direction. He wonders what type of missive will generate the desired response. Perhaps he should bait the author with what he wants – Faison. Jason asks if he’s going to pretend to be Faison, but Sonny thinks it’s too risky. They might already be in contact. Just let him know he’s on their radar.

Nathan apologizes to Maxie, saying he should have told her. Maxie says no harm done. Lulu arrives at Crimson, and Maxie asks what was she thinking? Good thing the article won’t make it to print. Lulu says she tried, but she’d already turned it in. She asked Peter to intervene, but it had already been posted on the website. There’s no going back.

Spinelli asks if they’re agreed. Jason says. do it, and Spinelli tells them, hook baited. Now let’s see if they get a bite.

We see a computer screen with several windows open. One with Faison’s picture, one with Lulu’s article, and a document that says The Severed Branch – Epilogue.  An email comes in. It says, love your new book. Can’t wait for the sequel.

On Monday, Ava asks Julian what’s going on, Carly talks to Kim about Oscar, and Diane asks Jason what he’s up to.

👰👰👰 Since many of the shows I watch have been on hiatus or whatever we call it now, I’ve been flipping around, checking out programs I haven’t seen. I’ve been trying to watch Sister Wives, but it’s only marginally interesting. They seem like very decent people, and obviously the family dynamics are different from the usual, but I might as well watch my relatives. Where is Mary Schmucker when I need her?

🍑 While I don’t blog about it, I somewhat keep up with The Real Housewives of Atlanta. After last week’s episode, Marlo wins for the biggest, most fabulous chandelier earrings on any Housewives show ever.

 🍕 But I Haven’t Even Gotten There…

Gorgas Closing:

https://pagesix.com/2018/01/05/joe-gorgas-nj-restaurant-to-close/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20180106&mpweb=755-5519987-711673032

🔊  Quotes of the Week

I don’t like parties past 2 am. Then it’s all losers and weirdos. – Paris Hilton

Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.  –  Roy T. Bennett

Sympathy butters no parsnips. – Mrs. Patmore (Lesley Nicol), Downton Abbey

If you forgot to make a New Year’s resolution just do what we did. Write out everything you did on NYE and at the beginning write the word “stop.” – @N2KOfficial, Twitter

In her blissful ignorance, she married him. – Keith Morrison, from an episode of Dateline, but this is so many of our stories… BTW, the antagonist was convicted of “menacing.” I didn’t even know that was a thing.

No one knows what it is or how it works, but everyone wants to possess it. – Nomad (Michael Berryman), Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time

Michael Berryman Beastmaster 2 (1991)

🎼 Trust Me, They Finally Get to It…

Jan11

January 10, 2018 – PC’s Mayoral Candidates Meet, Teresa Visits Joe #1 in Prison, Twice the Tyler & Tabatha is Back

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jim tells Franco that he dated his mom when Franco was a kid. He was an artist even back then; a regular Jackson Pollock. Jim says he used to get into all kinds of things. Franco doesn’t remember him, and asks what he’s doing there.

Olivia-Q tells Ned that Port Charles has been home for more years than it hasn’t, and now he’s raising a family there. Ned says she’ll be the perfect politician’s wife; beautiful, stylish, down-to-earth, competent, and she can get things done. She says before you know it, she’ll be feeding cannoli to the entire town. Ned says she’s right. He’s running for mayor. Olivia says there’s the man she married; the man who can do and be anything he puts his mind to. He asks if he can count on her vote, and she tells him he can count on anything from her. She’s going to be one helluva campaign manager, and together, nothing can stop them.

At Charlie’s, Doc tells Laura it’s her chance to be a champion for the city she loves. Laura says he’s right. She’s running for mayor. He says at last she sees reason, and she says she knows he wasn’t going to let up. He tells her that he knows how important it is to her. She says after meeting Jim, it was clear that someone needs to push him back, and it’s her. Doc says, hallelujah, calls her madam mayor.

Charlotte sees Laura through the window, and runs in, shouting, grandma! She tells Laura about her skating, and Laura says she can’t wait to see her in the Olympics. Charlotte shows off her outfit. She tells Laura that she got another one from a nice lady named Cassandra, but Nina made her return it.

Valentin’s doorbell rings. It’s Jordan. He asks if he should call his attorney, but she says she’s just tying up loose ends regarding Cassandra. Her assistant confessed to putting her in a coma, and she wonders why Valentin visited him shortly after he was arrested.

Finn tells Anna that he doesn’t need a babysitter. She tells him she got flowers. They’re probably not as nice as the ones he got, but they’ll do. He asks, do what? and she says Cassandra sabotaged their New Year’s Eve dinner, and they’re going to have one. He didn’t know it was going to be tonight, and she says why wait. They can say a proper farewell to their partnership.

Elizabeth points out that Franco went out for milk, and came back with champagne. She tells Jim that they just set a date for their wedding, and Jim congratulates them. Elizabeth invites him in, and he promises to keep it brief. He tells Franco he’s come a long way, and calls him Bobby, but then says he’s now Franco, the famous artist. Franco says Jim knows a lot about him, and Jim says everyone has heard of him. He and Betsy also keep in touch. He says she’s proud of him, and Franco says she has a funny way of showing it. Jim thinks they must have had a misunderstanding, but Franco says he’s not discussing it with him. Jim says it has to be; Betsy thinks world of him, and he was her world when he was a kid. Franco asks why Jim suddenly turned up now. Did Franco’s mom send him?

Olivia toasts to the future mayor. Ned reminds her that any number of people might want to join in the race, but she says they don’t have his pedigree. He says it’s a pedigree with a checkered history. She tells him Jim obviously wants to do business with him, but Ned says that’s before he quit his job. She says he didn’t quit; he pivoted. He saw a need and followed his conscience. He says he’ll need an ally in city government.

Laura tells Charlotte that if it didn’t fit, Nina would have to return it. Nina says it wasn’t appropriate, because the nice lady turned out to be not so nice. She and Charlotte leave to get hot chocolate (the official drink of Port Charles), and Doc asks what Laura thinks. She says he’s the shrink, so he should tell her.

Valentin tells Jordan that Eric tied him and Anna up, and was prepared to kill them both. He wanted to look Eric in the eye, tell him to enjoy prison, and that he’d be waiting when he gets out. And yes, it was a threat. Jordan doesn’t think Eric was feeling guilty or had something to gain. She’s skeptical that the confession happened so early on. Maybe someone paid for his attack of conscience.

Finn toasts to the glamorous life of a secret agent. He tells Anna she has a lovely laugh when she’s not doing her Emma Peel thing. She says she can laugh when she’s not inflicted with his irony. Even though they were fake dating for a while, they know little about each other. Finn says he’ll always be an addict, but Anna says it doesn’t scare her. She asks if he was cynical as baby, or did he grow into it? He asks if she was always playing cops and robbers, but she says it wasn’t that. She wasn’t weird, but wasn’t like the other girls; she was solitary and secretive. Finn says he was loner, and Anna says what a shocker. He says too bad they didn’t get the chance to know each other, and find out who likes Van Gogh, and who thinks caviar is overrated. She says, and who sleeps naked, and they both raise their hands. Finn says finally something in common. She gets up and starts to walk past him, and in the smoothest move ever, he grabs her arm, stands and kisses her.

Jim says Franco hasn’t changed; he was always a tough nut to crack. He sees the painting of the brothers, and says it’s fascinating, and asks what the inspiration was. Franco tells him it’s always life. It appears to be one thing, and ends up being something else. Jim says he’ll just put it out there. He’d like to buy Franco’s art studio.

My friend George Stephanopoulos interrupts. Yay. A news conference with the Norwegian prime minister. Because something like that can’t wait a half hour. I tried YouTube, but the quality was so bad today, it just wasn’t worth it for a few minutes.

Jordan tells Finn that she assumes Cassandra had a computer. Finn says she had a laptop, and Jordan says it’s missing.

Valentin tells Anna he couldn’t have drugged Cassandra, since he was with her. Cassandra’s operation just lost tens of millions of dollars. Maybe someone wanted to express their displeasure. Charlotte runs in, telling Valentin that the costume Nina got her is much nicer than the one from Cassandra. Nina glares at Anna.

Valentin talks to Charlotte in French, and says it’s past her bedtime. Anna tells her sweet dreams, and Nina takes her upstairs. Valentin asks if they’re done, and Anna says she got what she came for. He asks if it ever occurred to her that Finn put Cassandra in a coma. She asks if it matters. It’s all tied off now. Valentin says strange as it might seem, it was a pleasure doing business with her. She laughs, and says strange as might seem, it was.

Olivia tells Doc the ink of the marriage license isn’t even dry, and he’s encouraging his wife to run for office. He says she and Ned are still newlyweds, and ditto. At the same time, Ned and Laura both say they love Port Charles and want to do what’s best for everyone who lives there. Laura says they need someone to fight for their town, and it’s her. Ned says they need someone to bring their town into the  21st century. The press shows up, and both Doc and Olivia say they sent for them.

Finn tells Jordan that maybe the laptop was destroyed. She says if that’s the case, they failed miserably, since the information is in the cloud. They’ll find it, and it will lead to the rest of the operation. She tells him she’ll call Anna later. As she’s leaving, she says she knows they pretended to be involved as part of being undercover. Finn says he was just following orders. Jordan says she’s been in a similar situation, and had to learn the hard way. It’s one thing when there’s danger in the air, but when things settle down and go back to normal – whatever normal is – you realize how much you really don’t know about each other. It’s none of her business, but she hopes things are different for them. She leaves, and Finn looks at the flowers.

Nina comes back down. Valentin tells her that Anna left; she had questions about New Year’s Eve. Nina says, omg, she figured it out. We flash back to Valentin finding Nina at the MetroCourt. She says she was nervous. She didn’t know what to do or how to rescue him. He asks how she knew he needed to be rescued, and she says Cassandra told her. He asks when she saw Cassandra.

Nina bangs on Anna’s door, yelling that Valentin is missing and they need to talk. The door is unlocked, and she goes inside. Cassandra is there with the syringe, and says Anna is with her husband, but not for long. Anna will be dead soon, and Valentin will live long enough to suffer. Nina tells her not to hurt him, but Cassandra says Nina is the one who did, making him love her. She’s going to kill Nina and their daughter. They struggle, and Nina plunges the syringe into Cassandra, who keels over. Nina runs out.

Valentin tells Nina that was the end of that, but she says what if the nightmare is just beginning? He says when he found her at the MetroCourt, he never wanted to let her go. She’s glad she told him. We flash back to the MetroCourt again. Valentin tells Nina they have to call the police. Nina says she spent time in a mental institution for assault, and they’ll use it against her. She has a new life, and begs him not to make her go back to the old one. He says he understands, and will take care of everything.

They both go to Anna’s house. There’s no answer, and Valentin goes inside. He tells Nina to come in. Cassandra is on the floor, and Nina asks if she’s alive. He says barely. He takes out the syringe, and wipes it. He asks if she’s sure they weren’t in the living room; there are signs of a struggle. Nina says no, and he tells her he’ll clean it up to be on the safe side. He fixes up everything, and picks Cassandra up. They leave with her. In the present, Valentin says he regrets his past, but it afforded him certain skills, and he’ll always protect her.

Laura pledges to run a clean campaign, and allow Port Charles to decide who they want for mayor. Ned says it will be a fair fight, and may the best candidate win. Doc tells Laura that he couldn’t be more proud. The next stop is the mayor’s mansion. Olivia tells Ned the same thing. Jim says Ned has his full support. Ned needs someone to share his vision of what Port Charles can be. Laura sees them, and says, game on.

Franco rips up Jim’s card. Elizabeth asks if he’s sure, and he says he has a firm rule – don’t do business with people who call him Bobby. He suggests the crack the champagne and celebrate setting the date.

Anna comes back home, but there’s no Finn. She sees a note by the flowers. It says, Good news. The MetroCourt had a suite available. Roxie and I are going back to where we belong. Back to normal – whatever normal is.  

Valentin takes out a laptop. He deletes Cassandra’s photo of Claudette, and says, in the past.

Tomorrow, Maxie talks to Peter about a mutual friend, Julian says someone is trying to send him a message, and Curtis finds something.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

This might be the finale, but it’s doubtful I will ever get Siggy’s loudmouth voice out of my head. I heard she’s not coming back. Good.

Margaret and Marge Sr. go to check out Margaret’s dress for her 50th birthday. She feels like a young girl because she’s delusional (her word); she’ll always be in her twenties in her head. I like the mermaid style, but it’s a white burnout pattern which isn’t for me. The collar is also a little high. Danielle joins them. She asks if Margaret finds Siggy rational at all, and Margaret says no. She hopes Siggy can hold it together at her party. Margaret tries another size, and I’m loving it on her, especially the cutout back.

Siggy and son Josh go tuxedo shopping for prom. She can’t believe he’s graduating high school, and will be leaving her soon. She wants to spend every moment with him. He’s made a decision about college. It’s only 3½ hours from the house, and she promises Josh that she’ll be there every weekend, totally freaking him out.

Melissa and Joe #2 arrive with the kids for Teresa’s birthday. Melissa has the kids hide. Teresa comes in and asks her dad what’s for dinner, and they all pop out. The kids wrote letters of appreciation, and read them to her. She feels badly for them, and knows they take their frustration out on her, but they also wow her. She thinks maybe she didn’t do so bad. She tells them she’s going to see daddy this weekend, and asks who’s coming. Gia has cheerleading, and won’t be able to. Teresa hasn’t been there since her mother died. In his interview, Joe #2 says it’s a long time. She might say it’s because she’s busy, but he knows she’s angry. He thinks she’s afraid to show Joe #1 her anger. Teresa tells us that she wants an apology, and needs to express it, or it won’t be a good thing. She wishes her mom was there, but is happy she has the girls.

Dolores goes with the two Franks to the bowling alley where Frankie hangs out with his friends. Dolores says when Frank first moved in, she worried about them getting along, but they’ve worked it out as a family. They’re savoring the last few weeks before he goes to college. She doesn’t know how long she and Frank will be living together. People want to put their relationship in a box, but all that matters is that they’re happy. Dolores gets a gutter ball, and Frank says at least she’s getting better. I think my high score is 90, so no judgement.

Margaret’s housekeeper is excited that there will be disco dancing at the party. Interior decorator Joyce arrives, and Margaret is thrilled about the renovation. She’s hoping when Joe #3 sees the rendering, he’ll get in gear. He’s not keen on all the white. Again, not my taste, but it’s beautiful. Margaret says it won’t be done before the party, but she’s hired someone to make it look fabulous.

Teresa heads out with the girls, minus Gia, to see Joe #1. The last time she had to turn around, because her mom was in the hospital. She feels like it’s Joe’s fault that she lost time with her mother. Milania wishes they could rewind time, and so does Teresa. In her interview, she says life sucks. She doesn’t like bringing up serious stuff around the girls, but wants them to know Joe is sorry for letting them down. Cameras aren’t allowed inside the prison, so we don’t see the visit.

The girls say it was an amazing visit, and they love their dad. Teresa tells us that she got choked up, and the courage she built up, went away.

Joe #2 and Melissa go to Jonathan Adler, the store Margaret would like gifts from. Joe wonders if Joe #1 apologized. He says he’s never heard Teresa talk like this before, and thinks she might walk if he doesn’t. Melissa agrees. Teresa joins them. Melissa asks if there was resentment. Teresa says she was nervous and emotional. She told her husband that what he did wasn’t just to her, but their daughters, and she wanted to hear he’s sorry. He asked if she’s read his letters where he’s written it a million times, but she told him that she wanted to hear it right from his lips. Everyone ended up crying. In his interview, Joe #2 says Joe #1 is the hardcore old-school Italian, and not the type for apologies, but he cracked. Teresa says she thinks about her mom, and when he comes home how it will be different because she won’t be there. She says everyone makes mistakes, and Melissa says it was a big one. Teresa says he’d better make it up to her when he comes home

Josh is ready for prom. Siggy drags out childhood photos. What’s with the white burnout pattern? Josh’s girlfriend is wearing a similar dress to Margaret’s birthday gown, but  with a more youthful skirt, and a plunging neckline that I like much better. Siggy says their relationship isn’t going to end because he’s leaving, and she’ll get through it.

Margaret says tonight is the big night, and she’s a train wreck. Her party planner insists he can do magic. And he does. It looks amazing. She wants to leave it until the renovation, and Joe #3 says it is the renovation.

Dolores calls her boyfriend, but there’s no answer. She says she has respect for his work, but he needs a life too. Frank is coming with her to the party. For now, he’s filling the void, but she doesn’t know if it’s going to be okay in the future.

Siggy says she and Margaret don’t have great chemistry. Margaret is so insensitive, Siggy can’t believe she’s gracing Margaret with her presence going to Margaret’s party.

Margaret says Dolores looks like if Diana Ross and Sophia Loren had a baby. Dolores says Siggy is running late, and hopes things are cool when she gets to the party. Everything is all Studio 54 and disco balls. For her grand entrance, Margaret is hoisted onto a horse statue, and led into the party. I guess this is supposed to parallel Bianca Jagger‘s Studio 54 entrance? She thanks everyone for coming. She says she’s lived a blessed life, and starts to cry. In her interview, she tells us the only thing missing is her kids. She can look back when she’s 90, and remember that she was a lucky girl. In her interview, Dolores says they’ve had a bumpy road, but Margaret understands her relationship with Frank. The dancing commences.

One of the guests tells Margaret she’s heard a rumor. Dolores gets a text. Everyone is looking at their phones. Margaret tells Danielle that Siggy isn’t coming, and might be in the hospital. Some people will do anything to get out of an invite.

Margaret makes the rounds. Dolores says Siggy fell. Melissa hopes she isn’t hurt, but wonders what the chances are that she fell on the way to Margaret’s party. She thinks if it’s an excuse, it’s genius. Danielle talks about Siggy being a jerk, and Dolores calls Danielle a slob. In her interview, Dolores says if Siggy didn’t want to come, she would have said no. We flash back to Siggy being a moron throughout the season. Teresa doesn’t think she’d fake an injury, and doesn’t want to question it. Everyone gets texts except Margaret, but Margaret doesn’t think Siggy is crazy enough to fake it. She’s kind of glad, thinking the night will be drama free.

Melissa announces that she’s tipsy. Joe asks Melissa if she’s saying Siggy threw herself down some stairs. He says she was crazy enough to embarrass Melissa at her party, and we flash back to that. She also called Melissa trash, and the cherry on top, she defended Kim D. Melissa says you should always have a way out, and cheers to her. Dolores tells Frank that Danielle is looking to pick a fight with Siggy.

Apparently, Siggy has fallen down eighteen stairs (she counted), and has a sprained ankle and a contusion on her arm. She tells husband Michael that she still has to go to the party, since she keeps getting texts from Dolores, saying Danielle is talking about her. She’ll go in, do what she has to do, and get out. What is she? The Mafia? She wants to steal Dolores, Teresa and Melissa out of the party. Is there no end to this woman’s rudeness? What boggles my mind is that she keeps saying how insensitive Margaret is, yet she wants to take guests away from her party. I’m so glad she’s not going to be on the show anymore. With time, the urge to hunt her down and smack her in the face will pass. True story. My husband was going to San Francisco for his job around the time Puck was still on The Real World. I told him if he saw Puck, to smack him. He was at a gas station, and asked the attendant if he knew where Puck was, because his wife wants him to punch Puck in the nose. The attendant had no idea what he was talking about, and possibly thought he was crazy.

Nice of Siggy to hobble in and steal Margaret’s birthday thunder. Teresa is under the mistaken impression that her appearance means she wants to make things better with Margaret. Siggy explains she missed a step in her heels. Dolores calls Danielle over. Melissa jokes that Siggy threw herself down the stairs to avoid the party. Siggy says she loves herself too much for that, and in her interview, says she can’t believe Melissa drank the Kool-Aid. Melissa tells us that Siggy has a point. No one loves Siggy more than Siggy. Siggy admits she didn’t want to come, and in her interview, Margaret says there’s no reason she should have come if she didn’t want to. And she had nothing to worry about in coming. Margaret never publicly called her names or was deliberately rude, and when they made up, she thought they actually had. Siggy is the game player, not her.

Margaret says Siggy was very nice about it when she invited her to the party. Siggy says she doesn’t want to be friends. She just came to be with Melissa and Teresa. Teresa says she must be there to wish Margaret a happy birthday, and in her interview, Melissa calls Siggy a mega-bitch. She’s not asking her to be BFFs with Margaret, but just be cordial. Margaret tells Siggy that if she doesn’t want to be there, she should go. In her interview, Siggy says God is good, like someone had been holding her hostage. Dolores decides to leave with her. She thinks Siggy isn’t in the right frame of mind. She’s in pain, and annoyed that everyone said she was copping out of coming to the party. Melissa wonders who comes to a party and says that sh*t? Especially when she had an out if she didn’t want to come.

Teresa insists that Siggy must have come a little for Margaret, but Siggy says she doesn’t want to be a phony. Someone needs to explain the difference between being a phony and being a polite human being. Teresa says Siggy’s behavior hasn’t been the best, but she’s known Siggy longer, and she’s been there for her. We flash back on their friendship. Teresa feels badly for Siggy, and decides to leave with her. Dolores is glad Teresa sees where her loyalty should lie. Again, is this Mob Wives? Melissa can’t believe Teresa left without even telling her, since they came together.

They have the end blurbs, but apparently no one on this show has done anything very interesting. The most noteworthy thing was that Joe #1 was transferred to a new prison. Melissa says they’re a group divided, but she knows she’s on the side of right.

Next time, the Reunion.

If Loving You is Wrong

Tyler Perry – round two!

Some noise wakes Natalie. She wakes Lushion, saying she thinks she heard gunshots. She knows she did She quietly goes to the window.

Travis lies dead in front of Kelly’s door. Kelly tiptoes to Justice’s room, and goes inside. He’s sleeping, and she gets in the bed with him. He asks if she’s okay. She says everything is fine.

Natalie goes back to the bedroom, and tells Lushion he needs to get up. She saw Travis’s car. That gets him up. He gets his gun, and tells her to stay in the house.

Lushion calls for Kelly. He sees blood coming out from under her door. He yells for Natalie to call the police and an ambulance. He goes inside, and calls to Kelly. He asks if she’s all right, and she tells him to keep his voice down; Justice is asleep. He asks what happened, and she starts talking about putting Justice to bed. Lushion says, no, what happened here? Doesn’t she see a man on her floor? She’s like, Travis, oh yeah. He tells her call an ambulance, but she says she wants him to die. Lushion says he still has a pulse, and they have to save him. Kelly asks, why? So he can keep torturing her? She starts to go back to bed, and Lushion tells her to stay there. She says she shot him. Lushion calls 911, but they already got a call. Kelly is totally out of it, and keeps saying she shot him, and doesn’t want him to live.

Lushion asks what happened; did he break in? Kelly says he was at the window, and the alarm didn’t go off. Lushion asks again if he broke in, but she says she let him in. Natalie tries to come through the front door that Travis is blocking. Lushion tells her to leave, and Kelly says she shot him. Lushion asks for the gun, and she points to it on the counter. He needs her to understand, and asks how Travis got in. She says she opened the door. Lushion is freaking out, and tells her not to say anymore. Kelly says he kept banging and saying let him in. She let him in and shot him, and kept shooting, and shooting, and shooting. Lushion needs her to focus. He says she’s in shock. She shakes her head, but he says he needs her to do something. Don’t say a word. She says she did it. She shot him, and that’s what happened. Lushion tells her the police will be here, and don’t say that.

He asks Natalie to come in, and tells her to look at him as she walks around Travis. He needs her to take Kelly and justice next door, out the back. He tells her to watch her step. Kelly asks where she’s going? Lushion tells her it’s okay, just go. He needs her to be quiet. Poor Lushion. He always has to fix everything. He makes a call to Ian, waking him.

Ian says it’s late. Lushion says, sorry, but there’s a problem. Kelly shot Travis. This wakes Ian up real fast. He asks where, and if Travis is dead, and Lushion says at Kelly’s house, and he has a pulse. Ian asks if the cops are there, but Lushion says they’re on their way. Ian says he is too. Lushion says he’ll try to keep her away from them and making a statement, but hurry.

Lushion keeps saying, damn, Kelly. He tells Travis to hang in there.

Marcie is all weepy. She tells Brad she’s an idiot. First she marries Randal, then throws herself at Brad. Brad says she’s human, and she says another word for weak. He says she’s one of the strongest women he knows. He really loves her, but loves his wife too. It doesn’t make her less special; it just makes the timing wrong. She asks if it will ever be right, but he doesn’t think so. His phone rings. It’s Alex, but he decides not to answer. He doesn’t want to make her jealous and upset. Marcie says she already is. She’s been threatening to tell Randal that Marcie is pregnant, and wants her to stay away from Brad. Brad says he’ll talk to her.

Alex calls again, and Brad answers. She tells him to hurry home. There were gunshots next door, and the police are there. He says he’s on his way. Marcie plays a message of Randal asking if she’s pregnant, and insists it must have been Alex who told him. No. It was that drunk idiot Larry.

Natalie gives Kelly some water. Esperanza is there, and asks if she’s okay. Kelly says he just wouldn’t stop; she shot him. Esperanza says she’s sorry, and Kelly says don’t be; she isn’t. Esperanza says she has to talk to the police at some point, and she can’t say that. Kelly says he deserved to die for what he did. She starts to freak, and they hold her back and get her into a chair. Natalie says she’s not talking to anybody. Kelly asks if they know what he did to her, and says she’s not okay. She’s going to lose her job, her credit is bad, and he raped her. It was the day Lushion came over and she said nothing happened. She starts to freak again, and the girls calm her down. Natalie says, self-defense.

Travis is taken away in the ambulance. Brad and Marcie pull up. Brad asks Lushion what happened? Lushion says Kelly shot him. Marcie asks if he’s okay, but Lushion says they don’t know. She asks where Kelly is, and Lushion says his house, so Marcie heads over. Alex comes out, and Brad asks if she’s okay. She says she is, and Lushion asks how many gunshots she heard. She says a lot. Brad gripes about Kelly having a gun, but Lushion says just think what would have happened if she hadn’t had it. If it hadn’t been him, it would have been her. Brad says she brought it to the neighborhood, but I’m not sure if he means the gun or the problem of Travis. Lushion says it’s over now, and Alex and Brad go home.

Alex says, it’s sad, and Brad says it’s sad she told Randal that Marcie is pregnant. She says she didn’t do that, and Brad says she threatened to. She admits she did, but didn’t follow through. Brad says she couldn’t wait for him to leave so she could go over there. Alex insists she did nothing, and Brad asks why Randal left a nasty message on Marcie’s phone? Alex says he’s having a hard time believing her, and asks if this is how it’s going to be now? He’ll get to choose whether he believes her or not. She didn’t go over there, and didn’t tell Randal anything. She asks if he believes her, but he doesn’t answer.

Ian arrives, and I wonder why the cops didn’t stick around. Lushion meets him, and Ian asks for the details. Lushion says Kelly claims she shot him. She opened the door and turned off the alarm. That’s not what she said. She said the alarm didn’t go off. Lushion didn’t have his listening ears on, as Judge Judy would say. Ian asks if Travis is okay, but Lushion says they don’t know. Ian says his family is going to make it difficult. His father is the biggest pastor around, and there are nothing but lawyers and judges in the congregation.

Natalie lets Ian in. Kelly says she shot him. Ian says he knows, and asks for privacy.

Larry and Randal are passed out on the couch. Upstairs, Eddie’s arms are cuffed to opposing walls, and he’s wearing a bondage costume. He tries to slide his phone over with his foot. Lushion gets a call. He sees it’s Eddie and he’s not answering. Lushion tells the women that Kelly said she opened the door and turned the alarm off. Esperanza says she lured him in to kill him. She’s praying Kelly didn’t call him over there, and asks how she had a gun. The one she had is in evidence. Natalie says it was hers. Eddie was in Alex’s backyard, and scared her, so Natalie gave it to her. Esperanza says Natalie can be in a lot of trouble. Lushion says, especially if he dies. Eddie calls again, and Lushion refuses to answer.

Eddie calls one more time, and Lushion asks what he wants. Eddie says it’s not a joke; he’s in serious trouble. Lushion says he’s not helping, but Eddie says Lushion is all he’s got. He’s at Randal’s. Lushion asks what he’s done now, and Eddie says they have him chained up. He begs Lushion to get him. Lushion says he has a lot going on, and Eddie says he’ll explain, just please help. Lushion doesn’t want to know. He tells Eddie to stop calling, and hangs up. Natalie asks what’s going on, and Lushion says Eddie is talking crazy, saying he’s chained up at Randal’s house. Marcie wonders why Larry is there this late; she saw his car. Lushion asks if he knows Eddie. Esperanza’s phone rings, and it’s Eddie. I’m laughing my ass off.

Lushion tells her go for it. Eddie says he needs help, and she says she knows that. BA-DUM-CHH! She asks what he did, and he says he’s in Randal’s house, chained up upstairs. It’s the same thing he told Lushion. Natalie thinks they should go see, but Lushion says no. Marcie thinks Larry’s car being there is weird, and realizes he must have told Randal about her pregnancy. Eddie calls Esperanza again, and they decide to go over there.

Lushion knocks on the door, and Marcie uses her key to let them in. Randal pops up from the couch, and tells them to get out. Lushion asks him to call Eddie, but Randal says he’s tied up (groan). Larry says he doesn’t have a warrant, but Marcie says it’s still her house, and they need to talk to Eddie. Lushion asks to take a look upstairs, but Randal says no. Marcie says it’s okay, but Larry says if he goes upstairs, it will be the last time Lushion will work this beat. Randal tells them to get out of his house, but Marcie tells him to shut up. Randal wants to know about the baby. Idiot.

Lushion goes through the rooms upstairs. He finds Eddie, and says, wth? Eddie asks for help, and Lushion says he thought he’d seen it all. Eddie says just get him out of there. Lushion says he’ll get the key. Eddie wants his gun. Lushion goes downstairs, and asks what’s happening. Randal and Larry act like they don’t know anything, and Larry says his client has nothing to say. Lushion says Eddie is chained upstairs; give him the key. They both act ignorant. Marcie says, let’s go upstairs to the girls. Lushion tries to stop them, but not too hard. He asks if he has to call a locksmith, and Larry says they don’t know what he’s talking about.

The girls are stunned to see Eddie hanging there. Esperanza takes a picture with her phone, and closes the door. They go back down, and outside. Lushion dials a locksmith, but Larry throws him the key, saying his work here is done. Lushion says don’t think about moving. He doesn’t know who Larry is, but if they kidnapped Eddie, he’s going to jail. Larry says, we’ll see. They didn’t put Eddie in that position; he did it himself. Lushion balks at this idea, and Larry says he’s very limber. Randal suggests Lushion ask him about it. Lushion goes back upstairs with the key.

Lushion tells Eddie this is beyond the call of duty. He unlocks one arm, and gives the key to Eddie, telling him he should be ashamed of himself. Eddie says all Lushion’s dreams are coming true. They tricked him. Lushion doesn’t want to know, and asks if Eddie wants to press charges. Eddie says he’ll handle it himself.

Lushion tells Larry and Randal that it seems Eddie doesn’t want to press charges. They laugh, saying they already knew that. Larry says he’s heard about Eddie, and isn’t Lushion glad he got his comeuppance? Eddie comes downstairs, and Larry calls him the belle of the ball. I laugh because he’s still wearing a leather collar. He grabs the gun out of Lushion’s waistband, and starts shooting.

Next time, Lushion tells Kelly not to say a word until the lawyer comes, Lushion asks Ian what he knows about Larry, and Esperanza and Stephen get together again.

✂  Tabatha Coffey is back on Bravo with Relative Success with Tabatha, beginning next Wednesday, January 17th, at 10 pm. I’ve enjoyed her other efforts. She reminds me of a female Gordon Ramsay. She wears a lot of hats, one of them being therapist to whoever is getting the makeover. She’s the stoic with a heart of gold, and will be advising on family problems this time around.

👠 I got an email where the subject line said, Those shoes you want are on sale. I was like, cool! and opened it. Not even close. As a matter-of-fact, they were the kind of shoes I hate.

Tabatha

Jan9

January 8, 2018 – Eric Confesses, Jax is the Worst Person in the World, a Little Shep & Happy Birthday to the King

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan tells Dante that every once in a while, justice prevails.

Finn gets ready to leave the hospital. Anna says she doesn’t recall a doctor telling him that he’s discharged. Finn says he’s a doctor. He needs to tell the police he killed Cassandra.

Nathan tells Maxie the genetic component has to have crossed her mind. She says of course, but she doesn’t think the baby will turn out like Faison. Lulu overhears, and wants to know what’s going on. Nathan says, might as well get used to saying it out loud. Caesar Faison is his father.

Carly comes home to Josslyn dancing to her iPod in a sexy red dress. She tells Carly it’s for the ball. The Mad Hatter’s Ball is the biggest school dance of the year. It’s in February, but she’s planning ahead. Carly suggests she leave the tags on in case she finds something better (which I translate to something less adult), and asks if Kim knows Oscar asked her to the dance. Josslyn says he hasn’t yet, but he’s coming over to talk about something important. She goes upstairs, and Carly says her baby is growing up fast.

Jason tells Sonny that Spinelli is in shock about his daughter having a step-sibling related to Faison, but he knows Spinelli will step up and make it okay for Georgie and Maxie. Sonny says he’s odd, but a nice guy. They agree they need to find someone to help find Faison’s other son.

Sam tells Drew he knows his own heart, and asks what he wants to do. He says love and honor her the rest of their days. She suggests they get married today. He likes it, and says let’s go to city hall.

Anna asks Finn why he doesn’t concentrate on getting better, and when a doctor agrees with his diagnosis, they can do New Year’s Eve. She tells him he’s not going to the police. He was drugged, and doesn’t recollect well. Finn says he and Cassandra were the only two there. She might be able to dismiss it, but he can’t.

Jordan asks Dante to leave copy of his paperwork on her desk. She’s leaving to see Anna. She feels badly about how she left things, and wants Anna and Finn to know the operation is over. It’s one less thing for them to worry about.

Finn wants to confess before the police come after him. Anna says he has no memory of hurting Cassandra, but even if he did, he was protecting himself. Finn says he was protecting her, and the police should understand. Anna says he’s not saying a damn thing about what happened. Sonny interrupts, asking if it’s a bad time. Anna tells Finn to get some rest, and goes into the hallway to talk to Sonny.  Jason says they need to talk to her about Faison’s son.

Lulu is like, omg, and asks if Obrecht has any idea where Faison is. Nathan says even if she did, it’s doubtful she’d tell them. Lulu explains that she wants to interview him, and Maxie tells her that an interview with Beyoncé would be easier to arrange, and the subject wouldn’t try to kill her. (Not unless she’s Becky with the good hair anyway.) Nathan says the baby has absorbed enough stress for one day, and he’s got to get to work. Maxie says she and the baby will be fine. When he’s gone, Maxie tells Lulu that she’s terrified. Faison is a sociopath, and what if the baby inherits his genes?

Carly asks Josslyn how things are with Oscar and Drew. Josslyn says fine, and Oscar went to the Quartermaines for Christmas. Carly mentions the CD that Oscar made for Josslyn, and asks if it’s significant. Josslyn is saved by the doorbell. It’s Oscar.

Drew says they have the documents together, and tells Sam, let’s go get hitched. He looks at something, and says they’ve got a problem. Sam asks, what now? and he tells her to read the fine print. They have to wait 24 hours after the license is issued. He asks if she knows any judges. She’s sure her mother does, but doesn’t want everyone to be alerted. She suggests they just get the license now. He tells her that he meant every vow the first time, and they kiss.

Carly makes herself scarce. Josslyn asks Oscar what’s so important?

Jason tells Anna it’s been confirmed that Faison has at least one son – Nathan. I love how Anna is relatively unfazed by this. Sonny explains how he walked in on a family situation, and Obrecht blurted it out. Anna wonders why they’re bringing this to her, and Jason says Nathan isn’t the son they’re looking for. Britt told them about a traitor who allowed Jason to stay alive. Sonny says a manuscript was dropped off to Faison that they know he didn’t write. They think the character of the protagonists’s son is PK Sinclair, and also Faison’s son who double-crossed him by keeping Jason alive. They have to find him before Faison does. Sonny asks if Anna knows of any other woman in Faison’s life. She can think of one in particular.

Dante tells Nathan the case is closed, and Nathan congratulates him. Dante asks if everything is okay, and Nathan says for now. He hopes it stays that way, now that he found out who his father is.

Lulu tells Maxie to calm down. Stress is no good for the baby. Maxie says neither is a psychopath for a grandfather. Lulu says she doesn’t think Maxie’s noble act is the way to go. Maxie asks what she’s supposed to do? Blubber to Nathan, and tell him the baby might end up like its grandfather? Lulu says the baby already has the best parents; it doesn’t matter. Maxie says it does.

Finn hears the door open, and says don’t even think of ordering him back to bed. Jordan says she wasn’t thinking about it, and he says he was just about to go see her. She tells him that she wants to talk to him about Cassandra Pearce. Who I keep wanting to call Cassandra Peterson (aka Elvira).

Maxie talks about recession genes skipping a generation, and Lulu tells her that she means recessive. She insists that Faison’s issues won’t be passed on through DNA. Nathan is amazing, and it comes from inside. That’s what he’ll pass on to the baby. Maxie wants to believe her, but wonders how she can be so sure.

Nathan tells Dante that he always knew something was off with his mother’s story, but it didn’t matter until he needed the medical records for the baby. He never imagined it’s what they’d find. His father is Caesar Faison. His mother was devoted to him, but knew Faison wasn’t father material, so she hid Nathan. Dante says he’s sorry, and Nathan says, so is he. His father is one of the ten most wanted criminals. He feels sick. How is he supposed to go forward and forget? Dante says he can’t; he has to learn to live with it.

Anna says Desiree was a French woman, devoted to Faison, who would have done anything for him, but she’s been dead for decades. Jason says if there was a son, there must be a record. Anna says she doubts it. Faison is a master at covering his tracks, so there’s probably no trace. Anna says she’ll let the WSB know what they’ve uncovered, and they should get on with their lives. Sonny says they want to make sure he’s gone for good, and she tells him to let the authorities handle it. Jason says they need to know, but she says that Faison already took five years from him; don’t let him take more. She leaves, and Sonny thinks there’s a helluva lot more she’s not saying.

Oscar wants to talk to Josslyn about something. He tells her that he finished the book about Edward last night. Josslyn wonders why he came over to talk about the book, and he says it’s super messed up. Lies, affairs, greed; he can’t believe they’re related. Josslyn asks if she shouldn’t have given it to him, but he says after reading it, he feels like a multi-faceted, interesting, legit person now. Carly shows up with snacks, and asks what going on? Josslyn says, absolutely nothing.

Jordan tells Finn that she thought Anna would be there. There’s been a development in the case. Finn says he knows why she’s here, and he’ll make it easier for the both of them. It’s time he told the truth. She asks if he’s making an official statement. He says he is, and she asks if he’s in shape to do that. He says he has to get it out. The memories aren’t clear, but he’s pretty sure – Anna cuts in, telling Jordan what he’s trying to say, is that he went after Cassandra, but was too incapacitated to do it. Jordan says that pans out. They know who drugged her and left her to die.

Dante isn’t comparing his and Nathan’s situations, saying Sonny is deeply flawed, but he does have a code and a conscience. He has no idea what it’s like to go through what Nathan is. Dante tells Nathan about being undercover, and not knowing Sonny was his father, until Sonny tried to kill him. Dante was filled with rage, and didn’t know what to do with it. He didn’t want to take it out on his mother, and had to choose. He chose the things they shared, and rejected what they didn’t. Nathan is a grown-ass man (Assman Landers – sorry, I had to). He knows who he is. He already rejected Faison without trying. He grew up privileged, and could have used that to his benefit, but chose to be a good man. That’s not going to change.

Lulu tells Maxie that the baby will grow up safe, healthy, and happy. She can’t wait to meet the individual they’ll raise. She knows the both of them, and knows it’s a safe, stable home. Maxie says like with Charlotte, and Lulu says that’s why she fought for custody. The Cassadines are a nightmare, but there’s a lot to nurture vs nature. Maxie is grateful for Lulu’s friendship. She’s even grateful that Obrecht gave Nathan to her sister to raise. Lulu says, so Faison doesn’t know? Maxie says she’s got to go, and jets.

Carly asks Josslyn if she’s sure everything is okay, and Josslyn says it’s fine. Oscar asks if he did something wrong. Josslyn says no, he’s just being complex and multi-faceted. He asks if they’re having a fight, and she says maybe. He tells her he’s sorry, and she asks for what? He says he did something, but he’s not sure what. Josslyn tells him to go. He leaves, and Carly comes back. Josslyn tells her that Oscar is a jerk, and Carly asks what he did. Josslyn says he didn’t ask her to the ball. The doorbell rings. Josslyn doesn’t want to see Oscar. Carly answers, and says she’ll want to see this. Oscar comes in wearing a giant Mad Hatter hat, and says some lines from Alice in Wonderland. He asks Josslyn to the ball.

Sonny talks to Britt on the phone, telling her the time frame is the late 80s or early 90s. He knows it’s like a needle in a haystack, but it’s all they have. He tells Jason that if anyone can find Desiree, it’s Britt. He thinks the kindest thing for Anna would be to put a bullet in Faison’s head, but they have to find him first. Jason wants to make sure he never hurts anyone else; the answers won’t change anything. Sonny asks if that’s because Sam is staying with Drew.

Drew tells Sam it’s no big deal. They just have to wait a little longer.

Jordan says Cassandra’s accomplice, Eric, confessed. He didn’t know her intentions, and had no stomach for murder. Finn says, but he tried to murder Cassandra? Jordan says that after Anna and Valentin overpowered him – Anna interjects that it was just her doing the overpowering – Eric went back to Anna’s house to confront Cassandra. He told her that he was out. Cassandra attacked him with a syringe, and he turned the tables. He heard Anna come in, and he hid. Anna asks if he moved the body, and Jordan says that’s his statement. This chapter is closed for the two of them. They’re free to live their lives, and see what the new year holds. Anna thanks her for coming in person,

After Jordan leaves, Finn asks Anna if she believes it. She doesn’t know. She didn’t think Eric had a conscience, but all she cares about is that it cleared him. Finn thinks maybe Jordan is right, and they should see what the new year holds, starting with getting out of there.

Sam tells Drew there’s no time like the present.

Sonny says Jason didn’t mention anything about New Year’s Eve. He has nothing to say, and Sonny says that Carly said something happened between him and Sam. Before Jason can answer, Sam calls. She needs to see Jason, and asks him to come to the office; the sooner the better. He tells Sonny that he has to go.

Sam tells Drew that Jason is on his way. Drew asks if she wants him there, or does she want to do it alone?

Josslyn asks if Oscar set her up, leading her on to crush her, then asking her to the ball? He says he started second guessing himself, and was afraid she thought it might be lame. She didn’t mention the dance, so he thought she wasn’t interested. She’s unique, and maybe it’s not cool enough for her, so he panicked. When she kicked him out, he realized he was being dumb and he’d never know if he didn’t ask, so he figured he’d go big or go home. Josslyn says he really is a little mad, but like Alice said, all the best people are, so she’ll be his date.

Nathan says Faison is dangerous, even more so if he knows he has a grandchild. He needs to find Faison and shut him down. Dante says Faison hasn’t lived this long being stupid. He needs to do what he can to smoke him out and put him behind bars.

Maxie goes to see Sonny. She apologizes for her rudeness, and starts to babble, saying she needs to tell him something. He suggests she take a breath, telling her breathing is good for the baby. She says what’s also good for the baby is him swearing he won’t tell anyone that Faison is the grandfather.

Josslyn puts on the hat, and Oscar says it looks better on her. Carly comes back in, and says it looks like everything worked out. Oscar says he’d like to take Josslyn to the ball, and Carly suggests she not wear the hat. He has to go, but he’s glad he asked her. Josslyn says she’s glad she said yes. She walks Oscar to the door, saying it’s going to be a special night. Not just the dance. She has something that’s going to blow his mind. Carly overhears.

Sam tells Drew it’s simpler if she handles it alone, She wants to accomplish it with minimal friction. He says he’ll be in his office, and she tells him that she has this.

Maxie is freaked that Anna knows, but Sonny says she’s an experienced WSB agent, and she’s family. If anyone can protect the baby, it’s her. Maxie says it’s a deep, dark secret, and already three people know. Sonny swears no one is hearing it from him or Jason. She has his word. She says Spinelli promised not to say anything until he needs to tell Georgie. Sonny tells her not to borrow trouble, but she says it’s already here. If Faison finds out, who knows what he’ll do.

Nathan says he can’t change past, but can put stop to it now. Dante says he’s with him, and goes to finish up. Lulu comes in, and says Nathan must have contacts and leads she doesn’t know about, and vice versa. How about working together to bring Faison down for good?

Dante tells Jordan that he’s leaving for the day, and asks how Anna is. She says for a moment, it seemed like Finn was confessing, but it’s not possible. One look at him, and you could tell he couldn’t swat a fly, let alone carry a body out and dump it. They have a signed confession, and everybody is happy. Dante doesn’t look too happy though.

Anna tells Finn he can’t leave without a doctor signing off, but he says he needs to get out. She’s not fighting him if he insists on leaving, but if he does, she insists on him coming home with her.

Sam looks at a picture of her and Drew. Jason arrives at Sam’s office. They give each other a long soap opera look.

Tomorrow, Ned says he’s not running for mayor, Michael sees Nelle for who she is, and Sam tells Jason that she needs a divorce.

Vanderpump Rules

The entire SUR tribe of servers gathers at Schwartz and Katie’s apartment. Tom says Schwartz is such a good friend, he’s trying to take the heat off of Jax. Schwartz tells Jax that apparently he got drunk and made out with a chick. Katie comes home, and says she didn’t remember inviting Jax, so he goes back to his apartment on his motorized cooler. I’m not kidding. I’m watching this big guy motor down the hall, sitting on a cooler. He tells us it makes for a quick getaway. Jax is like a cartoon character.

With the gang all there, Katie says it’s the last time Schwartz is using the excuse of getting wasted, If he wants to be married to her, he’s not drinking like that anymore. Schwartz tells her that she’s not going to tell him what to do. Wrong move. She stands up, and says she can’t believe he’s the same guy she married, and everyone wept over their vows. She trusted him, and feels like she doesn’t even know him. Wait. Who’s that extra dude on the couch?

At SUR, Lauren asks Lala if she remembers how everything works, and Lala says Lauren will probably see her looking confused. She thanks Lisa for having her back, and Lisa tells her to be consistent. If Lala runs away, she’s not chasing her.

Jax asks Brittany if she’s still ready for the housewarming party. Jax thinks it will make it harder for his friends to talk sh*t about him if they drink his booze and eat his food. Brittany’s goal is to have a night where they hang out with their friends, and the focus isn’t on the relationship. Katie asks Lala if she can step away and talk. She’s wondering what possessed Lala to talk about Schwartz’s indiscretion.

Katie tells Lala she thought they were cool, and asks why Lala is talking to Scheana about her relationship. Lala says Scheana told her Katie had been making comments about her relationship, and she felt like her dukes were up again. Katie says she can’t argue with it, but thinks Scheana took the opportunity to throw her under the bus. She apologizes to Lala. Katie wants the deets, and Lala says he kept accidentally calling her friend “Bubba.” In her interview, Katie says it makes her stomach turn. She says the marriage has been bliss, and she wants him to get his sh*t together.

Lisa arrives at the bar, and asks for half a glass of rosé, which is like a full glass in some bars. She and Katie go somewhere private. Katie tells her that Schwartz claims he blacked out and doesn’t remember. Lisa says a partnership is like a marriage, and she’s not putting up with the BS Katie is. Katie doesn’t want it to ruin Schwartz’s opportunity, but Lisa says she’s going to talk to him, and he has every reason to be scared.

Harrison! Lisa gives the flower arranger instructions on how to make it look better. She tells Stassi she just got a ticket for not quite stopping at a stop sign, and she’s kind of guilty. She gives Stassi kudos for Guillermo’s party. She says it’s going to be Harrison’s birthday soon, but Stassi’s not there yet. Stassi tells Lisa about the housewarming party. Lisa can’t begin to understand it. Stassi says Brittany should be looking for a new apartment, not warming this one. Despite her feelings, she wants to go, and Lisa says nothing has changed.

The guys go to a painting class. Schwartz says it’s like a more mellow version of a Hunter S. Thompson adventure. A huge question mark hangs over my head. Schwartz isn’t drinking today because he’s going to see Katie later. Tom breaks out some absinthe, and convinces him to take one shot. Like James, Schwartz calls it the green fairy. We flash back to Jax’s night of drinking absinthe with James. I flash back to a night of drinking it with my friend Jane. We ended up singing show tunes in the park. Tom paints a penis on his apron. Jax asks Schwartz how it’s going, and Tom asks about Brittany. Jax says she’s out with the girls right now.

Brittany tells the girls she’s doing better. She was hoping Jax would be a better person, even though her brain tells her he can’t.

Schwartz asks if Jax is on probation, but Jax says more like community service. He asks how it’s possible Schwartz doesn’t remember, but Schartz says he told Katie he’d take a lie detector test. Their paintings are actually not bad.

Brittany talks about the party with Katie and Kristen. She says she doesn’t really know Lala. Katie says Lala claims Scheana triggered her. In her interview, Katie says Scheana’s boyfriend is also playing games. Kristen says Jen from SUR also works in another restaurant, and saw Rob kiss a girl there. When she pulled up a picture of him and Scheana, asking if she was his girlfriend, he was vague. She thinks he’s going to break Scheana’s heart. Ohh, he must be the mystery guy from the couch.

Scheana says she finally feels like she’s with a man. She’s finally with someone who works. Tom and Ariana come for dinner to new boyfriend Rob’s place, where Scheana has hired a private chef. They marvel over the house. Tom jokes that it’s almost as nice as their place. Scheana says it’s the opposite of her relationship with Shay, and we flash back to them eating take-out on the coffee table. Rob makes a pretentious toast, and Tom is impressed. He says he’s not Rob-sessed, but he gets why Scheana is with him. In her interview, Ariana isn’t sure which of the three of them is more in love with Rob. Rob says dessert is like sex, and Scheana says good thing he’s getting both tonight. Tom mumbles to Ariana, asking if they can be on that level. Scheana has a countdown app on her phone that tells her how long until she’s officially divorced. A little over a month to go now.

Schwartz brings his painting of Tom home. He says it’s his way of saying sorry. Katie wonders why he didn’t paint her instead. He confesses to his one absinthe shot. Katie says she talked to Lala, and tells him about calling the girl “Bubba.” She says Lisa is actually upset. She asked him to be a partner, and is concerned about him getting drunk to the point of blacking out. He promises not to be douchey, but he can’t imagine not hanging out with the guys. Katie says they’re married; he’s not married to his friends. He thinks that’s a stupid statement, so obviously doesn’t understand what married means.

Ariana and Lala go shopping. Ariana is glad to have her back at SUR. Lala says Brittany is a bigger person than she is. She wishes every woman would know their worth. Ariana says there’s no actual consequences, and Lala thinks dogs should be put in the doghouse. She asks Ariana how it’s going with Tom, and Ariana says she doesn’t really want anyone touching her who-ha. She explains that she’s always had issues with her body, and they were reinforced by an abusive relationship. When they started dating, everything was exciting, and it wasn’t there, but now it’s taking up space in her head. Lala says she literally talks to and thanks every part of her body every morning. She thinks Ariana should get into that routine, and says she’s perfection.

Schwartz and Katie bring their dogs to Vanderpup Pets for some grooming. Lisa asks Schwartz to talk upstairs. He feels like a dead man walking, and says it figures his last meal was a Lean Pocket, not even a Hot Pocket. He tells Lisa that he knows he took it too far, but doesn’t remember anything; it’s an unfortunate, sloppy accident. Lisa says she’s not just invested in his relationship, but they have a partnership. It’s like a marriage, and you have to treat each other with respect. She wonders if he’s going to tell her he blacked out, banged the waitress, doesn’t know where the money is, and lost the keys. It’s time to grow the eff up. He says he’s taking it seriously, and she tells him to take his wife seriously. In her interview, Lisa says Schwartz nearly woke up without his wife, and next time, it will be without his business partner. Schwartz apologizes Katie.

Kristen and Scheana help Brittany set up for the party. Brittany says it was Jax’s idea, but her girls are coming, and she knows they have her back. Kristen tells Scheana about Rob kissing a hostess at another restaurant. She showed him a photo of the two of them and asked if it wasn’t his girlfriend, and he mumbled no. Scheana isn’t believing it. She says they hardly kiss. He’s not a kisser, and she finds it not believable. I don’t care how nice his house is. If a man wasn’t a kisser, I’d dump him immediately. Kristen says Katie felt attacked, and it was brought to her attention. Scheana thought it was her obligation as Lala’s friend to tell her about what Katie said. In her interview, she thinks Katie is the devil. Kristen says Scheana is doing that fake thing, but Scheana says she’s known Rob for eleven years, and he’d never do something like that. Uh-huh.

James brings a toilet paper cake, since Jax is a piece of sh*t. Brittany’s only rule is that everyone has to be drunk.

Schwartz thinks he needs a new haircut. One that reflects how he used to black out, but is reformed now, even though he still likes to get drunk. Katie does not find his joking amusing.

Drinking games happen. Katie thinks Schwartz looks like a kid with chicken pox watching his friends play outside. Scheana is texting with Rob that what Kristen claims happened is BS. Jax thinks she wouldn’t notice Rob unless he was in the background of one of her selfies. Scheana talks to Stassi about how the first month without Shay was difficult, but now she’s looking forward to getting a house with Rob one day. In her interview, Stassi says Scheana is acting like they’re best friends, and her babbling is the reason they’re not close friends. She says nothing truthful or real. Scheana babbles some more, and Stassi needs another cocktail.

Lots of shotskis are hoisted. James raps while Tom is the rhythm section. Jax talks to Rob privately about how he wanted attention, and now he’s in a bad place and wants to fix it. Brittany comes in, and asks what’s happening? She thinks Jax should be talking to her, and says he’s treated her like sh*t. Lala and Kristen listen in. Brittany says she put her belief in Jax because she loves him. Jax applauds, and says the Oscar goes to Brittany. Oh boy, was that a bad move. Brittany walks out, saying eff ya’ll. Ugh. I can’t stand Jax.

Brittany goes back to the party. Lala tells Ariana about Jax yelling at Brittany. She tells Ariana that Faith had audio on the phone from when they got together, with Jax saying he’s never going to marry her. James had gotten it, and sent it to her. In his interview, James says it’s awkward, because he’s friends with Faith and Jax. Brittany is a sweet girl, and it’s a mess. Lala wonders if she should tell Brittany. Ariana thinks Jax is a despicable human being. Most definitely. Lala says Jax doesn’t deserve any woman, much less one like Brittany, but she doesn’t want to ruin Brittany’s night. Ariana asks if she’d rather ruin Brittany’s life. Good point, but they might want to wait until a moment of sobriety.

But no. Lala calls her over. Ariana says she loves Brittany so much. Lala asks to talk to her for a second, and Ariana keeps saying she’s sorry. Brittany is like, what happened now? and Ariana tells her about the audio. Brittany says, let’s do it, and listens. Jax is all happy with his bros in the kitchen, but not for long. Brittany says, are you effing kidding me? and storms in, calling Jax a piece of sh*t. She tells him rot in hell, and get the eff out.

Next time, DJ James is back, Brittany wants Jax gone, and Tom screams at Ariana.

👱 The girls on RelationShep have moved to private quarters, much to everyone’s relief. I have to admit to my hat being off to Cameran, who I sometimes don’t like too much on Southern Charm. It was her idea, and shows that they’re both concerned about the comfort of the ladies. Shep called it quits with young Kylie, who he realized he has little in common with. He told her that she’s still “green,” and needs to explore the world for herself, and he’s more of a pirate who likes some arrgh! in his life. Now, only Priscila and Peyton are left, and I’m leaning toward Priscila.

🚓  I need a partner in crime, and you’re the law. – Shep giving Kylie the big kiss off

🎶 🎤 Happy Birthday to The King of Rock and Roll 👑

When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream that I ever dreamed, has come true a hundred times… I learned very early in life that, “Without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend. Without a song, the road would never bend.” So I keep singing a song. – Elvis Presley, from the Elvis Presley newsletter

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