What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny approaches Sasha and Gladys at the MetroCourt, and says he’s glad he ran into them both. Sasha asks, where’s Nina? but he says, she got called to Crimson; some work thing. Sasha thanks him for the flowers, and he says she was on his mind today, so he thought he’d come by and see her. She says she’s touched he remembered today would have been Liam’s first birthday, and he says, in this family, you never forget a birthday. Gladys says, feel free to forget her next one, but Sonny says, not a chance. Since Brando’s not here, he’d like to say something for him. Liam Mike Corbin is always going to be in our hearts.

At the bar, Britt sips her martini, and coughs. Brad slides into the seat next to her, saying, she should do something about that cough, and she asks, who’s the doctor here? Him or her? He says, down, girl. She invited him here, remember? She says she’s sorry. She didn’t have a very good day today, and yes, she should do something about her cough. He says he has some killer lozenges in the car, but she tells him, forget about the lozenges. She knows exactly what she needs. She’ll never get to heaven, so tonight, they’re going to raise a little hell.

Holly tells Robert, this is a lovely little bistro, and he says, it’s a tad more private than Kelly’s. At this point, he figures she’s a little weary of everyone coming up to her and saying how wonderful it is to have her back. She says, everyone’s been so kind, but yes, it’s nice to have you and me time. Not that she’d turn down a visit to Kelly’s. She still remembers those onion rings. He also hopes she remembers who her friends are; her true friends. She asks why he’s suddenly so serious, and he says he thinks friendships are serious business. So is betrayal.

On the phone, Laura says, potato/leek or mushroom bisque… Yes, this is your sister. What kind of soup would he like?… Well, she doesn’t want him sitting home alone mourning, so she’s coming over whether he likes it or not, and she’s bringing him sustenance… No buts. They’re hardy. They’re family. They support each other. That comes with the deal.

Dante tells an officer that he reinterviewed the guard who was with Anna and Heather, but he still doesn’t have… He sees Sam sitting at his desk, and tells the officer, if Marshal Whitten calls, tell him they still don’t have anything. The officer leaves, and Sam says, hot on the case? Dante says, always, and asks why she’s here. She says she hasn’t seen much of him lately, so she made an excuse to come visit, and he says she never has to make an excuse to visit him, but since she went to the trouble, lay it on him. She says she can’t; it’s a surprise.

Nikolas tells Elizabeth, do something, and she runs over to Esme. She says, Esme’s pulse is slightly elevated, but she’s breathing, and he wonders if it’s low blood sugar. She says, they need to call an ambulance, but he says, she knows they can’t do that. That’s why he asked her to come out and help. She says she’s a nurse, not a magician. There are signs the baby is in stress. If they don’t do something, Esme might miscarry.

Sonny asks how the guardianship is going, and Glady’s says, it’s a work in progress. She was happy to participate on Sasha’s behalf with the decision Deception’s partners made to forego bonuses, and make other sacrifices to keep that company afloat. Sonny says, any objection to taking such drastic action? and Gladys says she admits she had reservations at first, but then she remembered what he said after Brando’s funeral; that family is the most important thing. More important than money or power or anything. He says, right, and asks Sasha if she’s seen the changes Nina’s new chef Giselle made in the kitchen. Sasha says, no, but she’d love to, and leaves with him.

Britt suggests Brad order a drink, so he can catch up to her. Then they can go to The Savoy, and rock the casbah until they’re kicked out. He says, she knows he’s always up for a good time, but is this about the cowboy in her life? and she asks if he sees any cowboy on the premises. He says, that’s kind of the point. Things seemed to be progressing. Now he’s MIA, and she wants to go dancing? She asks if they can’t just pretend it’s old times, and forget about everything else for one night. Brad and Britt against the world. Selina comes by, and says she’s glad she caught them both.

Holly says, betrayal’s a strong word, and Robert says he probably overstated it a bit, but honestly, he thought they were in this together. Soulmates. She says she doesn’t know what he’s thinking, but… He says, it’s Anna. Ever since she escaped from that prison van, he expected her to get in touch with him. He has no clue as to what her plans are. He’s stunned. Holly says, knowing Anna, she’s probably staying under the radar to protect the people she loves, one of whom is him. Has he thought about calling Robin? He says, she’d never bring Robin into her plans. Holly is probably right. Anna has gone underground to get the goods on Victor. He’s just got to hope she can find her man… or woman.

Still talking to Martin, Laura says, of course (🍷) he misses Lucy. What happened was a terrible shock. She doesn’t want to get his hopes up about something she may not be able to deliver on, but she just wants him to know there are a lot of people risking their own lives to find Lucy.

Sam asks if the interrogation room is free, and Dante says, seems like it. She says, they might want to do this in private, and he says, this surprise requires privacy? She brings out a large paper bag, and says, it’s his call. He looks in the bag, and says, they definitely need privacy for this. He tells Hayes that he’ll be in the interrogation room and doesn’t want to be disturbed. They go inside, he tells her, some things are just too good to share with the entire squad room, and kisses her.

Nikolas says, miscarry? Elizabeth can’t let that happen. She has to do something. Elizabeth says, if this baby is going to have a chance, they need to deliver it now, and he says, here? It’s too soon. The baby is too premature to deliver it now. She asks what choice they have, and tells him to get to the kitchen and bring her a knife. They’ll sterilize everything, but they need to work quickly. He says, for what? and she says, a C-section. He says, a cesarian? Here in the house? He’s no fan of Esme’s, but it seems like too big of a risk. She’s a nurse, not a doctor. She says, does he know how many C-sections she’s assisted? Besides, doesn’t he want to save his baby? He says, of course (🍷), that’s the priority, but without anesthesia? That seems inhumane. She tells him that he needs to get ahold of himself. She’s going to need his help. She’s going to do everything she can to save this baby. He says, and Esme? and she asks if he trusts her. He says he does, and she tells him, then do exactly as she says. There’s a 50/50 chance mother and baby will make it. She bends down to Esme, who pops up, and tells Elizabeth to get her grubby paws off her and her baby.

Selina says, it’s nice to see her nephew out enjoying himself. He works so hard, poor thing. She puts her arm around Brad, and says she’s glad he has a friend he can depend on. Britt says, they depend on each other. If anyone ever tries to hurt Brad, he knows she has his back. Brad says, what Britt means is… and Selina says she knows exactly what Britt means. She appreciates Britt’s honesty, and her courage. She tells the bartender to give her nephew and his friend whatever they want, and put it on her tab. She tells Brad and Britt, have a good evening, and goes to a table. Brad asks what’s gotten into Britt. Nobody talks to his aunt that way. Not if they expect to live very long.

Gladys goes over to Selina’s table, and introduces herself, saying, they met at the party Deception had to celebrate going public. It’s so nice to see a fellow investor.

Holly asks, what makes Robert think a woman is involved in Victor’s scheme? and he says he’s referring to Deputy Mayor Eileen Ashby. She’s clearly working for Victor. Did she think he was referring to another woman? Laura approaches their table, and Robert asks her to join them. She says she won’t be long. She’s waiting for her to-go order; she’s bringing her brother some soup. Holly says, her brother? and Laura says, Martin Grey. It’s kind of a long story, but the upshot is, she had two brothers she didn’t know about. One of them is pretty awful, but the other one is quite wonderful. Sadly, he’s grieving. He was deeply in love with Lucy Coe. Holly says she thinks she met him at Anna’s arraignment, and Laura says, he mentioned that. Martin is absolutely convinced that Anna show Lucy in cold blood.

Dante takes something wrapped in white paper out of the bag, and sniffs it. He says, Sam got him a hoagie from Sal’s? (As I suspected, a food surprise.) He calls her an angel, and she says, is she awesome? Yes. Angelic, not always. He says, that’s true, but her bringing him food in the middle of work; he calls that divine intervention. She tells him, go ahead; she had hers with the kids. She was about to make dinner, and the kids wanted to go to Olivia’s house, but they couldn’t show up on her doorstep like that. Dante says, they totally could have, but she says, his mom cooks for them all the time. So she decided to get take-out, and when she asked what they wanted, Rocco suggested Sal’s. Dante says, of course (🍷) he did, and she says, she ordered a sandwich for him to have when he got home, but then she thought she’d surprise him, and deliver it. He tells her, like he said, an angel, and takes a bite.

Nikolas calls Esme a pathological liar, and says, she was faking the whole thing. Esme says, at least she wasn’t faking a medical degree. He was going to let this nurse play doctor, and cut her open. Elizabeth says she knew there was nothing wrong with Esme that a little scare woudn’t cure, and Esme says, to think the way people talk about Elizabeth is how she’s so goody two-shoes, Florence Nightingale. Elizabeth says, now that the medical crisis is over, even though there was never one in the first place, she needs to get back. She was in the middle of something she’d like to finish. She heads for the door, and Esme says, hello? She’s the one with the baby. The one who’s being kept against her will? Elizabeth says she might have sympathy for Esme, but then she remembers Esme filmed a sex tape of her son and his girlfriend, and made it public. Personally, she’d like to see Esme give birth in Pentenville, but she’ll let Esme’s baby daddy make that call. Nikolas tells Esme, she’s not going anywhere; get used to it. Esme says, what happens next time when she’s not faking it? Elizabeth and Nikolas walk out, and Nikolas locks the door. Esme yells, how about it, Nurse Baldwin? If something happens to her and her baby, would Elizabeth be able to live with herself? Elizabeth is supposed to help her.

Sasha says, it’s amazing, but Sonny wasn’t just giving her a tour, was he? He says, after what happened with Liam and Brando, Gladys showed more depth and compassion than he thought she could, but at the end of the day, she’s still Gladys. That’s why he wanted to talk to Sasha one-on-one; he didn’t want Gladys putting spin on things. Be honest with him. After that meeting at Deception, Gladys tried to block the deal, didn’t she?

Selina tells Gladys, of course (🍷) she remembers. She was sorry to hear about Gladys’s son; such a tragic loss. Gladys thanks Selina for her kind words. She misses Brando every day. In his absence, she’s looking after his widow. She sits down, and says, actually, she and Sasha are looking after each other. That’s why she took the liberty of calling herself an investor. The court has made it crystal clear. What’s Sasha’s is also hers, and vice versa. Funny. That’s not how I interpreted it. Selina says, and Gladys’s daughter-in-law is one of the owners of Deception. Perhaps they have even more in common.

Britt says, Aunt Selina doesn’t frighten her, and Brad says, really? She scares the holy bejesus out of him. What’s Britt’s secret? Britt asks what makes him think she has a secret, and he says, he may not be the bravest man in the world, but he’s not stupid. His Aunt Selina openly despised Britt, and now they’re practically sending each other Christmas cards. What happened? Britt says, Selina blackmailed her.

Robert tells Laura that he sympathizes with Martin’s grief, but anyone who knows Anna, knows she couldn’t have pulled that trigger. Right, Holly? Holly says she assumes so, based on the woman she used to know, but she hasn’t lived here in decades. Laura says, unfortunately, there’s a video of a woman who appears to be Anna shooting Lucy, and her brother believes the video doesn’t lie. Holly says, a video doesn’t lie, but people certainly do. They manufacture a truth, and gaslight you into believing it, and by the time you realize you’re being used, it’s too late. Robert and Laura exchange looks.

Sam says, at the risk of putting Dante on the spot, will he be coming home tonight? He says he will, but it won’t be until later. Anna is still on the loose, and this US Marshal who’s been assigned to the case is a real jerk. She asks, why bring in a US Marshal? and he says, the Deputy Mayor supposedly believes they’re too overwhelmed here with their search for The Hook. When the truth is she knows if half the department came across Anna, they’d look the other way, and the other half would probably drive her across the border. Sam says she thinks that’s good, because Anna didn’t shoot Lucy; she was obviously framed. He says he knows that, but whoever did it, did a damn good job; the evidence is pretty convincing. She says, of course (🍷) it is. Has anyone told this US Marshal that Victor ran the WSB for many years, and that instead of treating Anna like a criminal, they should be investigating her great uncle? Dante says he’d love to be doing that, but he’s been assigned to search for Anna. So he has to do everything by the book, and document every step, and hope Anna and his father have covered their tracks. She says, wait. Sonny is involved?

Esme tells Ace, she doesn’t know what hurts worse; her aching back or her wounded pride. Don’t tell anyone, but Ace’s mom just got played by Cameron’s mother. She thought Elizabeth was some mealy-mouthed goody-goody. Elizabeth Baldwin outsmarted her. If Ace’s grandfather found out, he’d never forgive her. Clearly, she’s having an off day. She sits up, and says, there it is again. Is it just indigestion? Okay, that was even stronger this time. It’s not indigestion. It’s you, Ace. I’m feeling you.

Nikolas says, the way Elizabeth played Esme, she had him fooled too. She says, in all fairness, being the expectant father worried about his baby probably impaired his judgement. He says, she was beyond convincing, and she says, the point is, she convinced Esme that she was going to perform a C-section. He says, without anesthesia, and she says, then she stopped pretending. After when Esme did to Cameron, she’s okay with genuinely scaring Esme. He asks if she’s sure there’s nothing wrong with the baby, and she says, don’t get her wrong. Esme should be seeing an OB/GYN on a regular basis, but Esme’s reaction was all Elizabeth needed to know she was faking. So now that Nikolas knows the baby’s not in jeopardy, what are he and Esme going to do? He says he wants to make it clear, there is no him and Esme, but she says he couldn’t be more wrong. They’re literally attached at the hip. They now share a child together. He says, Elizabeth and Lucky share a child. How often do they co-parent together? She says, that’s on Lucky. She doesn’t keep him out of her boys’ lives. He says, the point is, she’s proof that being a single parent works. He did it with Spencer; he’ll do it again. She asks, what’s his end game? and he says, that’s where she comes in. She proved it tonight. From now on, whatever happens to Esme and the baby depends on her.

Sasha tells Sonny, yes, at first, Gladys blocked the deal and it upset her. It was the first time since Gladys became her guardian that they disagreed. Then she realized Gladys was just trying to protect her share in the company. She’s been so focused on staying sober, and not letting Brando down. Besides, it worked out and the deal went through. He says, so she’s fine letting Gladys take action, and she says, she’s better than some stranger assigned from the court. True, she didn’t expect Gladys to be so hands-on, but at the end of the day, Gladys is looking out for her.

Gladys says, Selina’s got her attention. What else does she think they have in common? Selina says she hosts a private party from time to time at The Savoy, but Gladys says she’s not much for dinner and dancing. Selina says, what about Texas Hold ‘Em? and Gladys says, poker? Selina says, it’s just a friendly game of course (🍷), but money does exchange hands, sometimes quite a bit, but if she’s not interested… Gladys says she’s not disinterested. Tell her more. I find it hard to believe Selina would be trying to get Sonny’s cousin involved in this.

Brad says, blackmail. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised. Aunt Selina always gets what Aunt Selina wants, but what does she want from Britt? Britt says, remember when he had his heart set on going back to work at GH, and she encouraged him to work for his aunt? Does he really think she would have done that, if Selina wasn’t holding something over her head? He says, like what? and she says, there’s no need rehashing her less than stellar history. But in the end, she caved. She’s sorry. If he hates her for it, she totally understands. He says he doesn’t hate her. He already told her that he likes working for his Aunt Selina. She says, she thought he was just telling her that so she’d feel better, but he says, it’s true. Britt may not have wanted to make that recommendation, but she did him a favor. Now it’s his turn. He knows she’s dealing with something big, and don’t say she’s not. How can he repay his debt and help her out.

Laura asks if Holly is all right, and Robert says, her reaction just now was a little big. Is she having memory flashbacks as to what happened to her over the past two years? Holly says, no, that time is still a blank. Who knows happened? Who knows who’s missing her? But her heart goes out to Laura’s brother. She knows what it’s like to lose someone, and the many ways there are to lose them. With violence, negligence, and sometimes selfishness. But she knows without a shadow of a doubt, Anna’s not responsible for Lucy’s disappearance. She’d stake her life on it. Laura says she believes that too, but Lucy went missing before Holly washed up on the shores of Lake Ontario. How can she be so sure? Does Holly know something they don’t?

Dante tells Sam, the same day Anna was supposed to be transferred to Pentenville, he heard Sonny talking on the phone with someone about Anna. When he asked Sonny about it, he said he was arranging for Anna to be protected in prison. Sam says, yet by some astonishing coincidence… He says, she vanished without a trace. Sam woudn’t happen to know of any safe houses she could direct him to in the area, would she? She tells him, don’t waste his time. If she were Anna, she’d put as much distance between herself and Port Charles. She knows Victor’s pulling all the strings. She’s not going to turn up any evidence here. He says, so if she was Anna, what would she do? and she says she would hole up someplace secure, and investigate Victor; how he set the frame up, what people he worked with. Maybe one of them will talk. He says he hopes Anna’s half as good at this stuff as she is, and she says, Anna is a super spy. She can take care of herself. Dante says, Sam can too, and Sam says she can definitely take care of herself. She just likes knowing that now they can take care of each other. He says, him too, and they kiss.

Elizabeth tells Nikolas, tonight was a one-off. A favor for an old friend who’s seen his share of troubles. But she has troubles of her own that she has to prioritize. She’s going to the launch, and getting back to town. He says, and then what? and she says she was in the middle of a very important conversation with Finn when she got his SOS. She’d like to go back and finish that. He says, she’s not going to go to the PCPD and tell them he has Esme? She does realize it’s already too late for that; she’s part of this now. She asks if he’s threatening her, but he says, of course (🍷) not, but Esme will. Since Elizabeth didn’t rescue her, she’ll most likely want to make Elizabeth pay. She’ll lie through her teeth, and say Elizabeth was in on it with him. She’ll make Elizabeth an accessory to kidnapping, among other things. Elizabeth says she has children of her own. Even if she was wiling to risk this for him or that baby, who’s completely innocent of its parents’ drama, she will not risk losing her boys. He says he thinks she misunderstands. All he’s asking is for her to go home and keep silent. Say nothing about what she’s seen her, or what she knows. She says, in other words, she won’t just be an accessory to kidnapping; eventually, she’ll be an accessory to murder.

Selina gives Gladys a card with the password Vesper on the back, and Gladys says, so this is all she needs to join Selina’s poker game. Selina says, that and a little luck. And with Sonny being her cousin, she already has plenty of that. Keep the card to herself. The game isn’t for the average public. Not everyone can afford the buy-in. Sonny comes back with Sasha, and says he didn’t know Gladys and Selina knew each other. Selina says, not friends. More like potential business associates. Sonny says, what kind of business are they talking about? and Gladys keeps the card out of sight.

Holly says she doesn’t remember the last two years, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t remember the kind of person Anna is. Laura says, unfortunately, somebody’s done a pretty masterful job at framing her. She guesses that means her brother is aiming all of his grief and rage at the wrong target. Holly says she needs some air, and leaves. Laura says, Holly seems pretty positive Anna is innocent, and he says, she and Anna go way back, but Laura says she thinks it’s more than that. She seemed almost remorseful. He asks if Laura thinks Holly is working for Victor.

Nikolas says, Elizabeth is taking him completely wrong. He has no intention of killing Esme. She says she knows what happened to Hayden when she became a problem for him. Does he expect her to believe he won’t take a similar path with Esme? He says he’s not going to comment on Hayden. The fact that she dropped her baby with Finn and never looked back says it all. She says, he still didn’t answer her question. Once the baby is born, how does this all end? He says, before Elizabeth came here tonight, he’d arranged for a helicopter to airlift him and Esme to a private airstrip. The plan was to fly her far away from here. She says, he’s taking Esme to Cassadine Island in Greece, and he says, Esme would be miles away from the mainland, with round the clock supervision until the baby is born. She says, and then what? and he says, with his child safely in his arms, Esme could live out her life in comfort on the island. He raised Spencer without a mother; he can do it again. She says, no offense, but is he really saying Spencer couldn’t have benefited from having two parents in his life? He says, if she’s ready, he’ll call the launch, and she says she’s not trying to judge him, but he has to be honest. If not with her, at least with himself. Does he really think if he follows through with this plan that he’s better than Esme? He says, there’s no alternative, but she says, of course (🍷) there is.

Esme wonders if Ace is going to be a soccer player. Is she going to be a soccer mom? She laughs hysterically until she cries, and says, damn it, Ace. See what you did?

Nikolas asks Elizabeth, what possible alternative does he have? It’s not like he can go back in a time machine and not have sex with Esme. She’s pregnant, and he’s the father, and he has to accept that. Elizabeth promises she’s not going to say anything to the PCPD about Esme, and he thanks her and says he owes her. She says, then promise he’ll forget about flying Esme to Cassadine Island. Esme will give birth at Windymere, and obviously, he’s going to need a nurse.

Britt tells Brad, there’s nothing wrong with her that a pitcher of sangria and some EDM won’t cure. Let’s blow this joint, and go to The Savoy. She runs out, dragging him behind her.

Selina says, as a Deception investor, she was glad to hear Sasha is on the mend, and Sasha thanks her, and says, she’s getting stronger every day, with help from her friends. Selina says, yes. With friends like Sonny, she can’t go wrong. She hopes Sasha and Gladys will start to consider her a friend as well. She leaves, and Gladys asks if Sonny and Sasha had a nice chat. Sasha hugs Gladys, and Gladys asks what that was for. Sasha says, for always having her best interest at heart, and Gladys says, of course (🍷). Always. She continues to keep the card in her hand, holding it in the folds of her skirt.

Dante tells Sam, maybe he’s off base. Maybe it’s possible Sonny did want to protect Anna. She says, it’s also possible they’ll hit the lottery and they can renovate the kitchen, and he asks if that’s what she’d do with lottery winnings. She doesn’t cook. She says, maybe she would if the kitchen was better, and he says, she would? She says, probably not (ha-ha! I totally get this), and he says, then they probably shouldn’t spend a lot of money on the kitchen. She asks where he thinks they should spend it, and he says, it would be cool to take the kids to Iceland. Has she ever been? She says, no, but it’s supposed to be beautiful, and he says, he’s heard. When the kids are older, the last thing they’ll want to do it go away anywhere with them, let along a family trip. She says, maybe it’s possible to spend the lottery money they didn’t win, and save up for it. He wonders if it’s possible for next summer, and she says she thinks they can divert the money they were going to use for construction, and do the renovations themselves. He says, do it themselves? and she tells him not to be so intimidated. He says he’s not. He has no ego over that. She says she’ll show him the ropes; she promises. He says he loves her, she says she loves him too, and they kiss.

Robert says, it’s a big jump from Holly being emotional about Anna to thinking she’s working for Victor, and Laura tells him that he said himself, he caught her whispering with Eileen Ashby. And there’s no doubt in her mind that her Deputy Mayor is on Victor’s payroll. She thinks she watched Holly struggle with her conscience just now. She knows Robert loves her, but deep down inside his heart she thinks he knows she’s hiding something.

Outside, Holly flashes back to Lucy getting shot. The gunwoman goes over to a trashcan and retrieves a bag from behind it. She unzips the bag, and takes off her wig. It’s Holly.

Tomorrow, Cody asks what Britt got into last night; Maxie asks if Austin is really doing all these surgeries, or is it a cover; Valentin tells Anna that it’s not safe for her to be here anymore; and Laura says she’s going to take someone apart.

❄️On the most awful show I watch and wonder why, Winter House, Paige bitched to the guys in the kitchen about Jess thinking she’s a bitch. Ciara suggested that Jess isolated herself, and Jess said she struggled with having girlfriends, getting in her own head, thinking they didn’t like her, so she didn’t have to make friends. Kyle demanded more liquor, and said Carl and Lindsay were joining them. In Kyle’s interview, he said, Carl and Lindsay are clearly in love, and he wasn’t surprised, but it was weird at first. He cried when he found out, but he was also drunk. In Austen’s interview, he said he was losing his sh*t. He and Lindsay’s relationship was fractured. There was a situation at Kyle and Amada’s wedding, and it’s made him more nervous and anxious than he’s ever been. He told the girls that it was creating unnecessary stress. He’d left the wedding, and Lindsay insisted on coming with him to his hotel room. He suggested they watch a movie, and he fell asleep. He woke up with her hand on his d*ck, and he asked WTF she was doing. In Amanda’s interview, she said she was shocked. At the wedding, Lindsay and Carl were telling people that they were going to give their relationship another chance. We flashed back to that, and Amanda said she was more shocked to find out that same night, Lindsay tried to touch Austen’s penis. Austen said he had to move her hand off, and in his interview, he said, she did the same thing last year in Vermont. He tells the girls that Lindsay asked him, please don’t tell anyone about what happened at the wedding, and he never did. In Ciara’s interview, she said, Austen was throwing out a loose grenade, and someone was going to burn the house down by the end of the trip. And Austen wanted to bring his girlfriend into this?

The next morning, Paige wailed that she was following in Craig’s footsteps and offending everyone. Craig suggesting she was now an extension of him was less than comforting. Paige planned a figure skating activity for the group, hiring a professional figure skater. She would teach them a routine, and then they were going to compete. Craig said he took figure skating in college and didn’t remember much, but remembered his swizzles. Paige said she remembered his swizzle too, and I was glad the conversation ended there. This group is a leader in TMI. Jason called his brother Jerrett, and said he was cool with Lindsay, but they had unresolved conversations. In Jason’s interview, he said, it didn’t work. Toward the end, Lindsay became pregnant and had a miscarriage, and it distanced them. Jerrett said Jason had the opportunity for closure, and Jason needed that before his next chapter. Jason acted like Jerrett was Confucius himself dispensing advice. Craig thought he and Paige should stay in bed until noon because this whole waking up stuff was silly, and Paige said she hated waking up. She might consider the alternative. Paige apologized to Jess, and said she wasn’t usually reactive since she dated the most reactive person in America. Jess should just come to her if there’s a problem. Jess said it was her insecurity talking, and in Paige’s interview, she said no matter who was right or wrong, she did the yelling, so she’s going to apologize. Why is she with Craig again? Lindsay and Carl arrived, and Lindsay told him they were going to make new memories there. Austen said he wasn’t going to be the first one with the welcome wagon.

In Lindsay’s interview, she said, this time last year, she was a completely different person times two. We flashed back to her being a drunken hot mess, and she said, since the wedding, for six months, she and Carl had been inseparable. She had a more solid head on her shoulders. Amanda wondered if it was going to feel awkward, and Rachel said, it already was, a bunch. There were hugs and hellos, and in Luke’s interview, he said Lindsay and Carl were two of his best friends, and they were inspiring. What they had was what most people wanted, and he was glad they were happy. The group got ready for skating, using some bizarre outfits Paige had brought along, Paige choosing a tutu for herself that she wore upside down. In Ciara’s interview, she said she considered Carl a friend and loved him, but she felt bad. Austen dropped a bomb, and she didn’t think Carl knew. It was about to get mad f***ing awkward.

At the skating rink, they paired up; Kyle and Amanda (Blue Balls), Lindsay and Carl (Fur Sure), Paige and Craig (Sugar Plum Fairy), Rachel and Jason (Black Swan), Jess and Kory (Lightning Bolt), and Ciara with Luke and Austen (Two Thorns and a Rose; Ciara saying, they were thorns in her ass). In Austen’s interview, he said he didn’t know what he was thinking, suggesting Olivia join them. We saw a clip of him subsequently discouraging the idea, and Olivia being fine with that. Luke and Craig flew all around the ring, and Paige couldn’t believe she thought this was a good idea. In Luke’s interview, he said when he was two years old, his mother took him to the local hockey rink, and he was still on the ice. If they didn’t win, this sh*t was rigged. In Amanda’s interview, she said she loved Lindsay and Carl, but she and Kyle had gotten married on September 25^th, and they were telling everyone they were giving love another shot. Timing was everything, and she wished some timelines were different. In Lindsay’s interview, she got all teary about falling in love with her best friend, and she told Amanda that she was ready for a commitment. Amanda asked if it was weird being in the house, and Lindsay said it was awkward with Jason. Jess told the girls that she and Kory were up until 4 am every night talking, and in her interview, she said when she was intimate with someone, she opened up emotionally. She’d normally have waited, but everything happened quick in the house. Hmm… Maybe it’s the house…

Skating instructor Stephanie explained that she was going to make up a routine for them, and Paige said, two teams would compete, and the final winner got whatever they wanted; the others in the house would have to do their bidding. It reminded me of Drama Club hazing in high school. I was never the best ice skater, so I can’t judge, but most of it was shaky and awkward, Kory accidently kicking Rachel in the face; luckily, not cutting her. Third place – the bronze medal – went to Amanda and Kyle; second place – the silver medal – went to Jess and Kory; and first place – the gold medal – went to Paige and Craig, who was glad he took those lessons. Rachel told Jason that she felt a talk about Lindsay coming on, and he said he knew he had to have a conversation with Lindsay at some point to clear up how certain things went down. In Jason’s interview, he said he hadn’t comprehended what the miscarriage did to him. He was sad. It was the loss of both the baby and the relationship. He didn’t see how it went to zero so quickly. He asked how Rachel was doing, and she said she was observing. It was weird walking into a house where everyone else had established relationships. Jason said, if she had any questions, comments, or concerns, he was here, and she said she had so many concerns…

Back at the house, Carl said he and Lindsay were throwing a Foxtails and Mocktails dinner party. In Lindsay’s interview, she said, Carl had been struggling with sobriety, so she stopped drinking, but eventually continued for herself. She enjoyed how she felt and looked. They passed out foxtail hats for the guys, and gave the girls foxtails and ears. Paige said the boys were to clean and the girls were to get ready, and Craig said, don’t tell him what to do, and he’ll do it. In Carl’s interview, he said, the house was a cesspool of trash. In his maturity, he liked more of a tight ship, and this ship was sinking. In Austen’s interview, he admitted he’d said some not so flattering things about Lindsay, and we flashed back to Watch What Happens Live. He said, it was going to be a clusterf***. At dinner, Luke said Carl and Lindsay had never looked better. They were an inspiration. Since the rooms were already taken, Kyle wanted to figure out a way for Carl and Lindsay to stay and not have to go to a hotel. Luke offered to share a room, and in Ciara’s interview, she said she and Lindsay weren’t even on speaking terms. Why should she give up her room? Oddly enough, Austen offered to bunk with Luke, and in his interview, he said it was a preemptive olive branch. He needed to apologize to Lindsay, but didn’t want to get in between her and Carl’s relationship. Jess asked Carl and Lindsay about their history, so they went down Memory Lane for her. In her interview, Ciara wondered, if Carl and Lindsay weren’t a thing at the time of the wedding, why did Lindsay want to keep it a secret?

While the immaturity level was relatively low tonight, we’ll see how long that lasts. And yeah, there weren’t any explosions, but enough groundwork has been laid that I hear, tick… tick… tick…

Next time, ice fishing; Jason talks to Lindsay about making their story public; Carl is thinking of the future; and Austen wants to talk to Lindsay.

🍸 Remembering My Swizzle…

Take a breather tomorrow, and come by for soap, a cupful of tea, words to think about, and an appropriately fitting tune. Until then, stay safe, stay not letting your past determine your future, and stay apologizing if you were the one doing the yelling.

⚠️ Warning: Words that might not be for certain ears.