Tag Archives: Iggy Azalea

April 6, 2021 – Alexis Prepares For Prison, Tea Is a Drag, Kathryn Shows Off, Together Again & Started

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Willow tells Michael that she thought he said Sasha agreed with her. He says she did, but it made him realize how much more her opinion means to him than Sasha’s. She says, that makes sense. She is Wiley’s mom after all, but he says, she’s more to him than Wiley’s mom. How she feels matters to him. She says he matters to her too, and they’re about to kiss, when Sasha comes in. Sasha apologizes, saying, the housekeeper let her in. She knocked several times, but she guesses they were too busy to notice. D’oh!

On the phone, Brook tells her mother to stop with the prenatal vitamins. She’ll get some. Honestly, Lois is as bad as Olivia… Of course it’s awkward. Her dad left the house, Olivia is monitoring her every breath, Michael is completely obsessed with being a dad… No, she’s not avoiding anything. She already talked to Valentin. She looks at her fake pregnancy belly, and says Valentin has been refreshingly fine with everything. She thinks he’s going to make quite the good father. She tries to make the device more comfortable.

At the MetroCourt bar, Carly asks what Valentin’s guy had to say, and Valentin says, he confirmed what Valentin already suspected. Gladys has been calling a disposable burner phone, paid for in cash, and ID isn’t required for those kinds of purchases. She says, so they can’t trace the number back to Cyrus, and he shakes his head. She says, if they can’t link Cyrus to Gladys, they can’t prove he’s paying for her false testimony, and Jason is going to stay in Pentenville until his trial. He says, that means Peter has the last laugh, but she says, not just Peter. Cyrus too.

Nikolas asks what Cyrus wants with his mother, and Laura says, he wants his mother, Florence Grey, and he wasn’t very happy with her when she said she couldn’t help him. Cyrus says, fine. If she’s not motivated to protect the lives of their family, perhaps her son will be motivated to protect the lives of his. Nikolas asks if Cyrus is threatening him, and Cyrus says, threats are the resort of the uninspired and impatient. He likes to think of himself as persevering and imaginative.

Ava starts to open the package, and Doc says, maybe it’s a wedding present. Laura tells him that Ava and Nikolas are renewing their vows. Ava says, yes; that would be so exciting, but she thinks if it were a wedding gift, it would probably be wrapped in some pretty… She reaches in and stops. She pulls out a hand and flings everything to the floor. Doc picks up a note, and she says, what the hell? Somebody sent her a lopped off hand? He says, it’s not exactly a note of congratulations, and she asks what it says. He reads, an offering for my goddess. May you always feel my hand in yours. Forever, R.

Doc picks up the hand, and Ava says, obviously, it’s fake, but still. He says, it’s an anatomical model. The kind they’d use in an educational setting. She takes it from him, and asks if it’s supposed to be funny. He says he doesn’t think whoever sent it was going for a laugh, and she says, not whoever. They both know Ryan sent it. Doc says he’s not so sure.

Nikolas says Cyrus is obviously to cautious to spell things out. He’s not so careful. He wonders how much his mother has told Cyrus about his father’s side of the family – the Cassadines. They’re not afraid to use any means necessary to protect the ones they love. And if Cyrus doesn’t believe him, he’ll have him over at Windymere, and off of a turret. Cyrus laughs, and says while he admires Nikolas’s honesty, he advises Nikolas temper his attitude. Like it or not, they’re family. Nikolas says, his late grandmother, Helena Cassadine, loved throwing that in his face, until her untimely death. Cyrus says, well, here’s hoping Nikolas’s Aunt Alexis doesn’t suffer a similar premature fate.

Alexis lets Sam into her house, and thanks her for coming. Sam says, of course (🍷). She’s always happy to help. Alexis says she thought they could have dinner afterward, and Sam says, she means take-out? Alexis says, no. Go out to a restaurant. Sit down. Have a meal. Sam says, if she’s up for it. She was thinking more of a low-key kind of night. Alexis says she doesn’t have many more nights to go out and about. She wants to go out and about, have some fresh air, and be with her family. Have an overpriced meal, with exotic spices on it. Anything she didn’t cook. Sam says the only thing she can cook is popcorn, so she knows what Alexis is getting at. Alexis says it’s good to see Sam smile. It’s all she really wants. She has so little time before she has nothing but time.

Still on the phone, Brook tells her mother that Valentin has been relatively hands-off. Baby BLQ is well taken care of, and mommy BLQ is tired of hiding in Bensonhurst. Port Charles is really where she needs to be. The place really fell apart after she left. Everybody needs to get back on track now. Speaking of which, it’s really quiet. Brook puts her shoes on, and says she’d better go. That always means trouble.

Valentin sends a text, and Carly says she needs him to focus. They have a problem to solve. Without looking up, he says she has his full attention, and she says, come on; this is serious. They have to come up with another plan to counteract Gladys’s lie about Jason. He says, if there’s any misunderstanding, he’s interested in Peter; she’s interested in Cyrus. He starts to leave, and she stops him. She says she’s interested in both of them, because they’re working together. Peter shot Franco, Gladys saw him ditch the gun, and when she found out Jason was a suspect, she ran to Cyrus. Cyrus is the one who told her to lie about Jason. He’s the one pulling Gladys’s strings. Valentin says, if Cyrus wants Jason out of the picture, Peter is just a means to an end. He tries to leave again, and she stops him again. She says Valentin wants to prove Peter is guilty, which also means exonerating Jason, and Cyrus is going to do anything he can to stop that from happening, including targeting Valentin’s family.

Sasha says she’s sorry. It’s obvious Willow and Michael were in the middle of a conversation. Willow says, it’s nothing that can’t wait. She’ll catch up with the both of them later. Sasha says she hopes Willow means that, about catching up. She misses their friendship. Willow says she does too. She promises. She leaves, and Michael says it’s good to see Sasha. He was just talking to Willow, and hadn’t expected her. She says if he and Willow had known she was coming in, she doubts they would have gotten so close.

Brook sees Willow jetting out the door, and asks if everything is okay. Willow says she just has a lot on her mind, and Brook says, they might not officially be in-laws anymore, but she knows when Willow is upset. Tell her what’s going on. Willow says she’s fine, but Brook says she doesn’t have to be a detective to see that Willow isn’t fine. She takes Willow’s hand and brings her back inside, saying, come on in. They haven’t had a chance to talk since she got back. Why don’t they go to the den… Willow says, no! Brook says, fine. Sorry. She thought they were friends, but she’s sensing Willow doesn’t agree. Willow says, it’s not Brook; it’s the den. It’s… occupied. Michael is in there with Sasha.

Michael says he’s sorry Sasha walked in. It must have been a bit jarring. (Who says that?) She says, if she didn’t know better… She wants Michael to tell her; did she walk in on a moment, or does she just have an overactive imagination? He says she wasn’t imagining things. It was a moment. His feelings for Willow aren’t as resolved as he wanted to think.

Cyrus tells Nikolas, it’s a shame the court saw fit to remand Alexis to prison, when she’s clearly emerging from the throes of a disease. He read that she only did it to protect her family. It’s an instinct that he’s sure both he and Nikolas, if not Nikolas’s mother, can identify with. Nikolas asks where he’s going with this, and Cyrus says, if Nikolas can find it in himself to bring Cyrus’s mother back safe and sound, he’ll call upon his extensive list of resources and contacts at Pentenville, and make sure Alexis stays safe and trauma-free while she’s serving her sentence. Nikolas says, let him get this straight. If he helps Cyrus get his mother back, Cyrus won’t send his people after Alexis while she’s in prison.

Alexis shows Sam the mortgage and bank records, when there’s a knock at the door. Sam asks if Alexis is ready, and Alexis says she doesn’t think she has much choice. She takes a deep breath, and opens the door. A woman is there, and Alexis says she must be Irene Morton, and asks her to come in. Alexis tells Sam that Irene is the prison consultant that Diane arranged for her. She introduces Sam as her eldest daughter. Sam says her mom wanted extra ears, not to mention Sam did a stint or two in prison herself. Irene says they have a lot of ground to cover. Going to prison is one thing; preparing to go to prison is another. Alexis says, after that, it’s smooth sailing, right? and Irene says she sees Alexis has a sense of humor – lose that. Sam says Alexis’s sense of humor is kind of who she is, and Irene says she’s not trying to change who Alexis is. She just doesn’t want Alexis to offend the wrong inmate, before she learns which jokes land, and which ones don’t. The first few days are critical in shaping the next few years.

Valentin says Carly’s concern for his family is appreciated. Imagine how different their lives would be if she’d shown half as much compassion for Nina, instead of hiding the truth about Nelle. She asks if he wants her to apologize for not giving a damn that Nina’s psycho daughter is dead, or does he want her to help him get Nina back? If that’s the case, she’ll put it on her to-do list, right under getting Jason out of prison, so she doesn’t have to go up against Cyrus and the Five Families frozen lasagna all by herself.

Chase puts the hand in an evidence bag, and Ava says, it has to be Ryan. Doc says, but Ryan’s communication is limited to blinking. For him to write this note, find the model of a severed hand, and have it delivered, is… Ava tells him, she didn’t say Ryan didn’t have help, and Chase says he’s sending an officer over to the facility to check the time logs and interview the staff. If Ryan found someone to help him, they’ll find out. Doc says he’d suggest they not focus on Ryan to the exclusion of everyone else. Ava asks if he thinks someone else would send her a hand, and he says she would know better than him. He understands that she and Nikolas have no shortage of enemies.

Irene says it’s good they’re going over the bank documents, and asks if Alexis has a financial manager, and has transferred her power of attorney. Sam says she’ll be taking on those responsibilities, and Irene asks, how is Alexis’s health? Is she in good shape? Alexis says, sure. She just ran the dishwasher, and didn’t even break a sweat… Sense of humor. Losing it. Irene says she sees Alexis hired a trainer, and got in a couple of sessions with a boxing coach. It should have been enough to teach her to defend herself. Sam asks if Irene can ease up a little. She doesn’t have to make every situation the worst case scenario. While there’s violence in prison, she doesn’t have to make it sound like it’s the inevitable. Irene says Alexis was a trial lawyer, right? Trained to lean into conflict, right? Alexis says she doesn’t shy away from it, and Irene tells Sam that her mother has habits that have served her well on the outside, but behind bars, not so much. Until she unlearns them, she needs to know how to protect herself. Because she and Alexis both know, no one can do it for her.

Cyrus tells Nikolas, Pentenville is a dangerous place. It wasn’t that long ago that someone as lethal as Ryan Chamberlain was incapacitated, and he was left little more than an empty husk. Imagine what could happen to someone who lacks that natural born killer instinct. Someone who has no friends there, no protection, and no one to turn to. It doesn’t have to be that way for Alexis. Laura says Cyrus is using Nikolas’s love for his aunt as a weapon against him. It’s called extortion. If that’s the kind of family he wants… Cyrus yells, this is the kind of family he has, startling Laura. He tells Nikolas, think it over, but don’t think too long. He’s a patient man, but he’s no saint. He leaves, and Nikolas slams the door.

Carly shoves stuff around the bar, and Valentin says, this is new. He’s never seen this side of her before. She says, pissed off? and he says, no, afraid. She’s scared. He’s not judging. Fear can be a gift; it can be useful. It’s a good motivator, and teaches us when to act. And it’s not going anywhere, so she might as well embrace it. Fear is a gift. She asks if he read that in a fortune cookie, and he says he learned it through practical application. Fear came in handy the first time he stared down the barrel of a loaded 9mm. She says, because he knew to run? but he says, no. Because he learned to shoot first.

Brook asks Willow if Michael and Sasha are making up or breaking up. Whenever she asks Michael what’s going on, he gets all cagey, and she has no idea what he’s thinking. Willow says she doesn’t understand either, and Brook says, Willow doesn’t understand where Michael stands with Sasha, or with her? Willow says she and Chase are trying to figure things out, and Brook asks, then why is she so upset that Michael is behind closed doors with Sasha? Willow says, because it’s… complicated? and Brook says she’s sure it is. The four of them have a really difficult time telling each other like it is. Willow asks if Brook is saying they should act more like her, and Brook says, holding back has never been one of her problems. When Chase told her that his fling with Sasha was a lie, she told him to come clean. She thought he heard, and came straight to Willow. Willow says he found her all right, and flashes back to her and Michael hooking up having sex making love. She says, but by then, everything had changed.

Michael tells Sasha that she knows he and Willow had the marriage annulled, but remained good friends, and Wiley’s co-parents… Sasha says, but it’s more than that. He says, for him, yeah. He doesn’t know how Willow feels. When they got married, it was just about protecting Wiley from Nelle, but the more time they spent together, the more it felt like a real marriage. She says Chase told her that Michael and Willow slept together, and Michael says, they did, but sex is only part of it. For a while, they shared a life together. Turning off those feelings isn’t as easy as signing a legal document. She tearfully says she knows. She can tell. She saw it just now. The way he looks at Willow is way used to look at her. But not anymore.

Michael says Sasha makes it sound like he doesn’t love her, but she says she knows he still does. That’s what makes this so hard. When she was in the hospital, after her overdose, when she woke up, he was there. She knows he would stick by her forever if thought it was the right thing to do. But the real question is, does he want to? He says, it’s not just him. It’s Sasha too. Does she know what she wants?

On the phone, Carly says Diane needs to arrange a visit for her with Jason… She can’t tell Diane what it’s about. Call in a favor, or pressure someone. Do what it takes, but she needs to see Jason immediately. Cyrus pops out of nowhere, because he doesn’t have a real job, and says perhaps he can be of service.

Nikolas tells Laura, Cyrus threatening him; how did they get here? She says, it started when Jason took Cyrus’s mother in an effort to keep the peace. He asks if she calls this peace. Cyrus threatening to go after Alexis while she’s trapped in prison. She says, this is how drug lords operate. They use innocent people to get what they want. He says he understands Cyrus. What he doesn’t get is her. Cyrus came to her for help finding his mother. Why didn’t she do something? She says she doesn’t negotiate with terrorists, and he says, maybe she should start.

Irene says she did enough research on Alexis to know she’s progressive, but prison is no place to break down barriers. Sam excuses herself, and goes over to the laptop. Alexis asks Irene if they can have a moment, and Irene says, sure; she’ll take a smoke break. She goes outside, and Alexis goes over to Sam, who asks her where the insurance papers are. Alexis says, they’re around somewhere, but maybe she should rethink this. Sam says, Alexis going to prison? Let’s. She let Alexis plead guilty. She should have fought for her. Alexis says, it wasn’t Sam’s decision to make; it was hers. Sam says she thinks Alexis chose the wrong one.

Brook says, maybe she should have been more judicious in her advice giving, but Willow says, actually, she’s grateful. Brook says, for what? and Willow says, the way Brook looks out for Chase. Brook says, he means well, but let’s be real, he needs someone to check his work. Willow says, pretty soon, Brook will have her hands full. She won’t have time to keep an eye on Chase. Brook says, they’re Quartermaines. That’s what nannies are for. Willow says she thinks Brook might change her tune once she holds her baby. The doorbell rings, and Brook gets up to answer it, saying, no sacrifices for her. She intends to have it all. She opens the door, and says, parenting’s not going to make a dent in her lifestyle. Valentin is there, and says he begs to differ.

Sasha says, since she and Michael decided to try again, they went out of their way not to set expectation or making any commitments. He says, they’ve been trying, and she says, have they though? Have they seized every opportunity to grow their relationship, or even spend much time together? He says, no, they haven’t done those things, and she says she’s not judging, but why does he think that is? Are they going slow to keep the pressure off? Michael says, you go fast because you can’t wait for the next part. You spend time together, and feels good, and want more of it. He asks if she thinks they’re going slow because they’re waiting for their old feelings come back, and she says she thinks so, but if they haven’t by now… He shakes his head, and says, maybe they’re gone.

Chase says Doc knows how to reach him if he gets an update on his brother’s condition, and if Ava can think of anyone else who could have sent this, let him know. He leaves, and Ava gives Doc a painting wrapped in paper. She says, here’s his legacy from Franco. He thanks her, and suggests she lock up, and he can give her a ride to the pier. He can wait until she gets on the launch safely. She doesn’t say anything, and he says, Ava? She says, he was right. She and Nikolas do have their share of enemies. He says that’s why he’d like to make sure she gets on the launch all right. She says, that’s kind of him, but she still has work to do, and he says he really doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone. She says she’ll be fine. Besides, she never goes anywhere without protection. She shows him that she has a gun in her purse.

Through her tears, Sasha says when she decided to come there today, this is not what she expected to happen. He says, him neither, and she says, at least they’ve been honest with each other. He asks, how is it possible for two people to understand each other better than they ever have, and still, they need to break up?

Valentin says he and Brook need to talk, and Brook says she was talking to Willow. She starts to shut the door, but Valentin blocks it with his foot, and says, this can’t wait. They need to discuss the private security detail he’s hired to protect her and the baby. Willow asks why Brook would need security, and he tells her, calm down. It’s precautionary. Brook asks, why? She has nothing to be afraid of, and he says, they start tomorrow, and it would be useful to everyone if she just does as instructed. Brook says she doesn’t take orders from him, but he says he’s just doing what’s best the safety of her and the baby. She tells Willow, do you believe this guy? Just so he knows, she’s not some delicate flower. She’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She doesn’t need two bodyguards on either side of her. She wonders where her phone is; she wants to call her dad. She strides to the den, and trips, falling flat on her face. Willow and Valentin freak out.

Carly says she’ll call Diane back. She turns to Cyrus, and he says, as he’s sure she’s aware, he’s intimately familiar with Pentenville. If she’d like to visit Jason, he’d be happy to make a call on her behalf. She says she doesn’t want anything from him, and he says, what about Jason? He’s sure Jason would appreciate the visit. She says, Jason can take care of himself, and Cyrus says he’s sure she’s right. She and Jason are nothing if not survivors. Though Jason’s ability to support her is limited now that he’s incarcerated. Fortunately, there is an easy fix. Once his mother is returned to him, Carly’s best friend could be on his way back to her. Carly says, she has no doubt Jason is coming home, but who knows when Florence will?

Laura tells Nikolas, no matter what Cyrus thinks, she doesn’t have the power to return his mother to him. Even if she did, she’s not sure she would. Cyrus’s mother is safe, and the shooting has stopped. Nikolas says, only because he hasn’t found the right approach, and he has with Alexis. She says, and with him. He’s not actually considering working for this man, is he? He says, if he can find a way to return Cyrus’s mother, Cyrus will have no reason to go after Alexis. She says, it’s not just about Alexis’s well-being. Cyrus will bring in anyone he thinks is useful. Who’s next? Ava? Avery? Spencer? What happens to the town when Cyrus’s mother is returned? The violence that will ensue. He says she let Cyrus drag them into a war that’s not theirs to fight. Let the police sort it out. Better yet, let Cyrus and Jason kill each other. Maybe then there will be peace in Port Charles. He starts leave, and she tells him, don’t act out of fear. Don’t give in to Cyrus. He says, what becomes of Alexis if he doesn’t? He can’t have that on his conscience.

Alexis goes outside, and tells Irene, it’s getting tense in there. This is going to be really difficult. Irene says Sam will make a good advocate for her. She offers Alexis a cigarette, but Alexis says she doesn’t smoke. Irene says, good. Don’t start, but always keep them handy. Smokes are a useful commodity when the commissary accounts max out or run out. Alexis says, good tip, and Irene says, sometimes these meetings go down easier with drink. Alexis says she doesn’t drink, but she thinks Irene knew that already. Irene says she knows Alexis is newly sober. Alcohol isn’t supposed to be available in prison, but it’s easier to get than you’d think. Alexis needs to be prepared. Alexis says she appreciates the information. It’s bleak, but it’s good to be prepared. She asks if Irene minds if she asks a personal question, and Irene says, go for it. Alexis asks how Irene got in this line of work, and Irene says she shot her husband three times. He lived, unfortunately. Alexis says Irene doesn’t have to answer, but does she mind telling Alexis why? Irene says, because after he was done hitting her one night, he said the next time he saw streaks on the mirror, he’d kill her, and she was fresh out of glass cleaner. Alexis says she’s sorry, and Irene says, when she was on the inside, she met a lot of women who didn’t have the tools to survive, so she started helping them. She had a purpose. Helping them helped her get from one day to the next. Her advice, if Alexis wants to live through this – not just survive, but actually live – find something to do. Do something. Three years of doing nothing is a long time. Find a purpose, and carry it out. Alexis asks if Irene is ready to go back inside, and Irene says they’ll finish tomorrow. Alexis needs her daughter right now, and Sam needs her.

Doc gets home, and Laura says, thank God he’s home. He says, why? What happened? She hugs him, and says, Cyrus showed up. She thinks he was watching the house, and knew she was there alone. He says she’s safe now, and she says, then Nikolas showed up, and Cyrus is trying to pull Nikolas into his game, but Nikolas has no idea what he’s getting himself into. Doc says, something strange happened at the gallery as well. He thinks somebody is messing with Ava’s head. She says, what somebody? But he says he’s not sure. She says, this could be the beginning. Cyrus threatened her, and said if blood started to run in the streets, it would be on her hands.

Cyrus says he’d hoped Carly would be more reasonable than Jason, but clearly not. Oh well, her loss. She says, giving up so easy? and he says she’s not the only game in town. She says she’s not afraid him, and he asks why she should be? He had issues with her husband. Now that he’s dead – may be rest in peace – and Jason is in Pentenville, she’s free of the violence that surrounded them. She and her children can sleep easy at night, knowing she’s no longer threatened. He says she’s no longer a consideration, and leaves.

Ava is working on her laptop, when she hears someone come into the gallery through the back door. She reaches for her gun, and hides behind a partition. Nikolas calls out to Ava, and she quickly puts the gun back in her purse. She says he won’t believe the bizarre turn her afternoon took. He says his day wasn’t pleasant either. They’re in trouble. She says she knows, and they both say, you go first, in tandem. Ava says, go ahead, and he says, it’s his aunt… Alexis.

Alexis comes back in, and Sam asks where Irene is. Alexis says, she left for the day, and Sam apologizes for making things tense. Alexis tells her don’t do anything; the house, the car, nothing. She needs Sam to do one thing for her. When she’s in prison, she needs Sam to be okay. She doesn’t need Sam to be great or good, but needs to know Sam will manage when she’s in there. She won’t be able to get to Sam. If there’s trouble, she can’t make it better. She can survive prison, but she can’t survive that. Being helpless is something she can’t do when her children are in pain. Does Sam understand. Sam says, yeah. They’ll be okay. She promises. They hug.

Sasha tells Michael that she doesn’t know how to say goodbye to him. She gets up, and Michael says, before she goes, he needs to say, thank you. When he first found out about the affair being a lie, he was angry at her and Chase, but he was also moved. He was grateful, because who knows what would have happened if they hadn’t done what they did? The judge could have sided with Nelle, he could have given Nelle partial custody; it would have been a disaster. He didn’t have to worry about that. All he knew is, he had his son back. She smiles through her tears, and says, and he felt like he owed her another shot. He says, not her; us. Sasha says she thinks in the back of her mind, she knew that too. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t pushed harder for them. He says, three strikes, they’re out?, and she says, at least they went down swinging, and they hug.

Valentin and Willow help Brook up, and Valentin asks if she’s all right. Brook says, she has a broken heel, and she hasn’t even had the shoes a month. Valentin hands Willow his keys, and asks her to bring his car around front. Brook asks why he did that for, and he asks if she’s in any pain. She says, no, but the people at Windom’s are going to be when she gets through with them. He says he’s getting her some ice and a glass of water, and they’re out of there. She asks where they’re going, and he says, the hospital. She says she’s fine, but he says he’ll believe that when the doctor tells him. Until then, he’s not leaving her side.

Tomorrow, Violet wonders why everyone is acting funny, Britt tells Maxie that it’s time to put their plan in motion, and Cyrus tells someone, let’s focus on what we can do for one another.

🍸 Tonight’s guests on Overserved were Iggy Azalea and my favorite drag queen of all time, Trixie Mattel (sorry, RuPaul). The theme was Diva Tea, and LVP prepared a proper British tea for her guests, who were joined by Pandora, husband Jason, of course Ken, and precious Giggy (!) who was still with us at the time. Iggy and Trixie already knew each other pretty well, Trixie explaining that drag queens and female rap artists have lashes and wigs in common. But who knew Iggy was so funny? When LVP said she’d moved there from England, Iggy said she wasn’t sure if Lisa had moved there from the UK, or she just got rich and acquired the accent. They played a game of croquet while holding giant drinks, the twist of the game being if they spilled anything, they had to take a drink. When they sat down for tea, Trixie admitted she’d never been to one, and when she went to the UK, she went to Starbuck’s. Trixie also brought her autoharp and played beautifully, one of her many talents. They played the Get Pumped question game, and LVP brought out her RHOBH diamond, allowing her guests to hold it, and give some taglines. Lisa summed it up at the end, saying, this is the best sh*t ever. I love this show.

Next time, Tori Spelling and Jeff Lewis, which was already recapped from a Bravo preview.

👙 Charming…

I need to stop eating gummi bears.

https://pagesix.com/2021/04/01/kathryn-dennis-shows-off-her-body-in-first-bikini-shoot/

💋 Big Ang Has Company…

Another casualty of the pandemic.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2021/04/03/big-ang-star-linda-torres-dead-67-covid-19-complications/7074363002/

🌜 Off To Dreamland…

It’s been a long day, otherwise known as that 24 hour period that you used to work 8 hours of. Whether you’re back on the job on the regular or not, stay safe, stay seizing the day, and stay going down swinging if you have to go down.

March 25, 2021 – Brando Snitches On Gladys – Yes, I Got You (For the Most Part), Reality Trip, a Tuscan Feast, Representing Their States & One Less

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

⚠️ GH was preempted in most US locales because of a press conference that I didn’t see, since it was on at 2 pm my time, and GH comes on at 3. It took me all of five seconds to say, what the blip? and google it to find out why. I was able to find a video of it, but I’m not positive there isn’t more at the end. I’ll repost this, along with anything extra, tomorrow, so read on if you want to be spoiled.

General Hospital

Taggert wakes to see Jason in the cell across from him, and says he didn’t realize he had a roommate. He asks what Jason did this time.

Britt looks at her phone, and says, what the hell? We see an Invader headline that says, Morgan Arrested for Murder.

Olivia is praying the rosary at the hospital, when Sam brings her coffee. Sam says she’s had worse from the vending machine, but Olivia says the caffeine won’t do her nerves much good. Sam says Olivia has been up all night, and Olivia says, so has she. She guesses she’s just going to be worried about Dante for the rest of her life. Going after Peter with a gun; Dante never would have done it if he was in his right mind. Sam says that’s why she brought Dante to see Doc. Doc will make Dante better, and he can move on. Got it? Olivia says, got it.

Dante tells Anna she should go, but Anna says she’s kind of wired. It’s hard to believe, but she hasn’t pulled an all-nighter in some time. How’s he doing? He says, you tell me.

At Kelly’s, Sasha tells Michael that she’s glad they were able to squeeze in breakfast. She hasn’t seen him in forever. He says he’s had one fire to put out after another. Jason getting arrested last night didn’t make things any better. She asks if there’s anything she can do. Maxie told her Nina took a leave of absence, and she knows it’s technically Jax’s half of the company, but has it impacted Michael? He says, not from a business perspective, but he has to admit, Nina taking a break is the best thing for Wiley.

Sonny is sweeping the floor at the Tan-O when Nina comes in. He says he was wondering if he was going to see her again, or she was going to skip town. She says she couldn’t leave without coming by, especially since Phyllis and Lenny let her stay at their place. He asks if a good night’s sleep helped her decide what she’s going to do next, and she says, it would have, but she didn’t get much sleep last night.

On the phone, Carly says, Jason’s arraignment is coming up. How confident is Diane that she can get him off on bail?… Is she serious?… She knows Diane is going to do everything she can. She just wishes they had the name of the supposed witness. That would make all the difference.

As they walk to Kelly’s, Gladys says she’s glad Brando was able to come to breakfast. Too bad he has plans for lunch and dinner. He says, they’re not plans; they’re called work. He tells her, before they go in, they need to talk, and she asks, about what? and he says, about her being the one who got Jason arrested.

Jason tells Taggert that he’s been arrested for the murder of Franco Baldwin. Tagger asks how long Jason thinks it will take for Jason’s defense lawyer to get him out of this one, and Jason guesses they’ll find out. Taggert says, if history is any indication, Jason will see the light of day before he does.

Martin meets Laura at the MetroCourt, and says she sounded mysterious on the phone. Does she mind telling him what the occasion is? She says she noticed it was his birthday last week. Why didn’t he say something? He says he didn’t know he was supposed to. They are siblings, but the fact is, they barely know each other. She says she was hoping they could use the occasion to change that.

Olivia tells Sam that she knows Peter is bad news, and she truly hopes to God Peter pays for his crimes, especially what he did to Drew. Sam says, her too, and Olivia says she’s just grateful it wasn’t Dante wasn’t the one to handle him. She thanks Sam for showing up when she did, and getting through to her son. She just couldn’t go through this again. Sam says Olivia doesn’t have to thank her. She did what anyone would have done. Olivia says, since Dante has been home, Sam has been a really good friend to him. She tries her best, but it seems that Sam was exactly what was needed, and she’s so grateful for that.

Anna knows it’s been difficult for Dante rehashing all that, but she thinks he and Doc made progress last night. He says he definitely feels lighter. It’s weird though, not having control like that. He just kept hearing in his head, complete the mission; kill Peter. He was going to do it. She says, he didn’t though, and he says, that’s because Sam showed up and talked to him. It was like a fog was lifted. She says, at least he knows where the fog came from now. She’s so sorry for what Dr. Kirk did to him. He says, it’s over now, and she says, yeah, it’s over. Now he can get on with the rest of his life. He wonders what that looks like.

Jason says he wants Taggert to know, whatever is going on with him, Portia and Trina are still protected. Taggert says he didn’t think anything different. A guard comes in to get Taggert for his sentencing hearing, and Taggert tells Jason that Cyrus is still walking around while Jason is behind bars. Whatever he’s doing to get out, do it fast. The guard takes Taggert out.

Gladys tells Brando, what else is there to say? She saw Jason dispose of a gun, and told the police. She still can’t believe he’s responsible for such an awful murder, and Brando says, they don’t know that Jason is. Her coming forward is causing a lot of problems for Carly. She just lost her husband. Does Gladys remember her cousin Sonny? She says, God rest his soul, and he says, there are still a lot of questions regarding Franco’s death. She says, which is why she felt it was necessary that she come forward. Is this an interrogation? He says, no, and she says all she did was give the police the information. Why does he care anyway? The last she heard, Sonny kicked him to the curb. He has a new job now, with the head of the hospital no less. If he really thinks about it, she did him a favor. He asks, how? and she says, her doing her civic duty will only endear Brando more to his employer. Now can they go in? It’s cold out here.

Michael tells Sasha, he was thinking about Wiley, and his confusion about what Nina said to him; and Willow, and how hurt she’s been. She’s just trying to protect Wiley. Sasha says Michael is trying to make everything okay, and he says it should have occurred to him to get Willow’s opinion. She is Wiley’s mother, and absolutely has a say in everything that happens to him, especially something so pivotal as, if he can see one of his grandmothers or not. Gladys and Brando come in, and Gladys says, look at this. They’ve got themselves a family reunion.

Carly tells Diane to let her know what she finds out in discovery. Cyrus walks in, and Carly says she has to call Diane back. Cyrus says, good morning, Mrs. Corinthos, and she asks what he wants. He says, just to offer his sympathies. He saw on the news that Jason was arrested. She says, a misunderstanding. His lawyer will have him out in no time. Cyrus says he certainly hopes that’s the case, for her sake. He can’t imagine how difficult this must be so soon after her husband’s passing.

Sonny says, so what kept Nina up? Thinking about that woman she talked to? He gives her some coffee, and she says, yes. That, and wondering, is it her job or fate to balance the scales? He says he doesn’t believe much in fate, and she says, wasn’t it him who said last night that it was fate that brought them together? He says, that’s just a figure of speech. He thinks we make our own choices in life. Look at him. Lenny and Phyllis took him in, and put their necks on the line, so he wants to pay them back with any job they want. She says he’s done a lot of great things for them, and fate or not, he’s been a blessing. He says he doesn’t know about that, and she asks if he ever wonders about the choices that led him there. Like what kind of person he was. He says he has no way of knowing, and she asks, if there was a way for him to know, would he want to know?

Olivia sees Dante come out, and runs to him. She says, thank God, and hugs him. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s good. She asks, what happened? and he asks if Anna wants to do the honors. Anna says, it turns out a faction of the WSB went rogue. They enlisted Dr. Kirk to manipulate the psychological trauma Dante had experienced to use for their own end. To eliminate Peter. Olivia says, manipulate how? and Anna says, Dr. Kirk instilled triggers in Dante that he was acting on without realizing it. Olivia says, they’re gone now? and Anna says Doc believes he removed them. Dante says they’re going to do a couple of sessions a week, and Anna says, to make sure there aren’t any hidden triggers. Sam says she’s glad he’s okay, and he says he owes her big time. Sam says he doesn’t, but Dante and Olivia say he does. He says if she hadn’t shown up, Peter would be dead. He was going to do it; there was nothing clearer in his mind. The only thing that stopped him was her. Sam says she’s glad she was there, and he says, him too. Sam’s phone dings, and she steps away. Olivia asks Anna if Dante is safe and can go home, and Anna says, absolutely. Sam looks at the Invader headline, along with a text from Molly that says, did you see this?

The guard tells Jason that Dr. Westbourne is there to see him, and she brings her medical bag into Jason’s cell. He asks what she’s doing, and she tells him to shut up. She raises her voice, and says she’s following up on the head injury he suffered last summer; the one that requires him to be seen every month. She takes out a pen light, and tells him, follow it please. He says the guard can’t hear them, and she says, what the hell is going on? He was arrested for Franco’s murder? He says he didn’t kill Franco; Peter did. She says, Peter, as in her brother? and he says, Peter framed him. She says, he’s saying that like he’s telling her what he had for dinner last night. Is he forgetting how good Peter is at that? If he has, just ask her mother about her recent stint in Steinmaur. She’d be happy to give him all the details. He says he remembers, and she asks why he’s so relaxed right now. She makes sure the guard isn’t there, and says she’s been to prison. It’s no joyride. She’s sure he’ll survive, most likely, but it won’t be pleasant, for him or the people he’s leaving behind, like Carly and his kids. He tells her, just take a breath, and she says, no. He says, she doesn’t want to breathe? and she says, he doesn’t get to calm her down. She faked her way in there with this check-up thing. It’s her job to take care of him. He says, okay.

Sonny says, some days finding out who he is, is all he thinks about, and Nina asks, what about the other days? He says, he’s not sure he wants to find out the answer. It’s good there, and who knows? It might be the start of something big. Phyllis comes in, and says she didn’t expect to see Nina this early. Nina says she got a jump on the day, and Phyllis says, so this is goodbye? Nina says, yeah. She thinks it’s time they all got on with their lives.

Gladys hugs Michael, and says, it’s so good to see him again. She was so sorry to hear about his father. Brando made it clear she wasn’t welcome at Dev’s memorial, so she figured it was the same with Sonny’s, and Lord knows, she doesn’t want to upset Michael’s mother. Michael says, it’s very generous of her, and Sasha quietly asks if Brando told his mother not to come to his son’s funeral. He says, long story, and she says, I’ll bet. He asks if Michael has a second, and Michael says, sure. They step away, and Gladys says she and Sasha keep running into each other; first in Brando’s hospital room, and now here. She’s curious. How long have Sasha and Brando been… friendly?

Brando tells Michael, don’t react, just listen, and relay this information to whoever needs to know. His mother is the witness who accused Jason.

Martin tells Laura, he must confess, since his mother’s been in hiding, his birthday felt lonelier than usual this year. She takes it Jason didn’t tell Martin where he moved Florence, and Martin says he wants to keep it that way. The less he knows, the less Cyrus can pressure him into revealing it. She says, smart, but it must be difficult, and he says, right now, he would have been making plans to visit his mother for Easter. Lord, how that woman loves getting dressed up for church. Then she critiques her friends outfits. Did you see what she was wearing? Who does that woman think she is, the queen? Laura laughs, and he says, she’s something. He guesses he can’t risk visiting her this year. Laura suggests he spend the holiday with her and her family. She would have asked him sooner, but she assumed he had other relatives he wanted to spend it with… or children. He shakes his head, and she says, or a significant other? He just looks at her, and she says they really don’t know each other, do they? and he says, not yet.

Carly tells Cyrus, they both know what he can do with his condolences. Now is that all? He says, actually, no. With Jason indisposed, he’s not sure who he should be reaching out to in matters of business. Unless it’s always been her. She says, sorry? and he says, the more he gets to know her, the more he’s thinking she’s not just a passive bystander. Instead of being the grieving widow allowing Jason to run the organization, she’s been the power behind the throne. Maybe she’s the one he’s been dealing with all along. She says he mentioned business, and he says, it’s come to his attention that Jason called a meeting of the Five Families spaghetti sauce, presumably to discuss the power balance now that Sonny is gone. She says, and? and he says, and one has to worry what’s going to happen if Jason can’t make that meeting.

Phyllis says something I can’t understand, and Nina asks what she means. So apparently, I’m not the only one who needs clarity. Phyllis says, just some community issues. Nothing for Nina to worry about. Sonny says, the recession has been affecting local businesses. Add in vandalism and burglary, it’s tough. Nina asks if the repairs Phyllis has been doing aren’t an isolated incident, and Phyllis says, none of it has been serious or violent. Sonny thinks busted windows are violent, but Phyllis says, no one got hurt. It’s scaring people off, and the fewer businesses, the more people jump ship. Sonny says, it’s not good for the foot traffic at the Tan-O, and Nina says, she’s so sorry; that’s terrible. Phyllis says it’s a shame to see what’s happening to their little town, especially since it seems there’s nothing she can do about it. Sonny says, but Nina can.

Cyrus tells Carly, fear not. He plans to attend the meeting, and will be sure to communicate all is well on her end. But the other families can be unpredictable, especially if they smell blood in the water with Jason being indisposed. Carly’s phone rings, and she asks Michael, what’s up? Cyrus says, a son checking in with his mother; what a luxury. Michael says he just ran into Brando. The witness is Gladys. She asks if he’s sure, and he tells her, that’s what Brando said. There must be an angle. She thanks him, and Cyrus says, that was a quick phone call. She says, that’s what happens when people get to the point, and he asks if everything is all right. She says, it will be. It turns out Sonny’s cousin Gladys is the witness testifying against Jason. He asks if she means the nice woman he met at Mike’s funeral, and she says, yeah, and they both know Cyrus put her up to it.

Britt says, it still doesn’t feel like it’s computing, and Jason says, what? She says that he’s been arrested for something he didn’t do. Not just something – murder – and the person who did do it happens to be incredibly skilled at covering his tracks. He says he knows all this, and she says, of course (🍷) he does, because he’s Mr. Mob Guy who knows everything about everything, which is great when it comes to Jason’s territory and killing mobsters, but when it comes to Peter… She doesn’t even know how to say this. She went on the run with her father for a year, looking for any and every way out. When she tells him that Faison is a whole other level of crazy… He says, he should listen? but she says, no. Consider Peter was raised by that monster. He hated Faison’s guts, but that doesn’t change the fact that Peter learned everything Faison had to teach. All the lessons of espionage and manipulation and deceit. Does he see where she’s going with this? He says, tell him, and she says, Faison was a complete and utter psychopath who destroyed people’s lives for fun. And her brother – the person who framed Jason – learned at his knee. Maybe there needs to be a little more panic here, because life as he knows it is about to end.

Olivia tells Dante, if she’d known what that Kirk guy was doing to him in Geneva, she would have busted down the door and dragged Dante out herself. He says, and then what? and she says, none of this would have happened. Anna says, Kirk was conditioning Dante for months, and Dante says he doesn’t think there’s anything Olivia could have done. Olivia says there’s one thing she doesn’t get, and Dante says, just one thing? Olivia says, Kirk is dead. So he’s manipulating Dante from beyond the grave? Anna says, once the triggers are installed, they remain intact, so Kirk wouldn’t have to physically manipulate them. Olivia asks if Anna is sure Kirk wasn’t working with anyone else, and Anna says, there’s no evidence of that. Olivia says, at the end of the day, its done. It’s over with, and it’s all smooth sailing from here. Dante says, that’s the plan.

Martin tells Laura, he never started a family of his own, but don’t get him wrong. It’s not for lack of trying. Laura says, so he’s been there, and he says, several times. He’s paid enough alimony alone to fund a small country. After his third wife, he realized the problem just might be him. Laura says, it seems hard to believe, and he says he has a tendency to smooth talk his way out of… well, everything. He glosses over the underlying issues in the relationship. It’s funny. He just realized, in his effort to make his marriages different from his parents’ marriage, he created his own set of difficulties. She thought he got along with his parents, and he says he did, but there was tension in the house; they were always fighting about something. His father’s past transgressions… She says, or about Cyrus? Martin says he was the good son; the one they didn’t have to worry about. They were so traumatized by everything Cyrus put them through, there wasn’t much left over for him. They counted on him to take care of himself, so he did. She says she thinks she knows how he felt. From the other side, the sister she was raised with, Amy, was just the sweetest thing, but growing up, Laura was a lot. He says, it’s hard to imagine, and Laura says, Amy had to be twice as loud, and twice as gregarious just to get a little of the attention she was getting. Martin asks if she’s calling him gregarious, and she says she’s sure it was hard for Amy to live with her, just like it was hard for Martin to live with Cyrus. He says, they all have their challenges, but having people around who care about you makes those challenges a little easier to live with.

Sasha tells Gladys, Brando helped her through a rough time recently, and Gladys says she heard about Sasha’s rough time with drugs when Jackie interviewed her on GMA3. Sasha says, fortunately, she got the help she needed, in large part because of Gladys’s son. Gladys says, mm-hmm, and Brando and Michael come back in. Brando says he hopes they weren’t too long, and Gladys says they were just catching up. She suggests they grab themselves a table; she’s famished. Michael and Sasha go back to their table, and Sasha asks if everything is okay.

Cyrus says he doesn’t know what Carly is talking about. He barely knows this Gladys woman. She says, it all makes sense. He saw Jason was being brought in for questioning, and saw an opportunity. That’s why he’s there, going on and on about the Five Families salad dressing. He wanted her to know what was going on, so he could make her an offer she can’t refuse.

Britt says she and Jason were supposed to take down Cyrus together. What does he care if he goes to prison, and she’s left holding the bag? Don’t worry about her. She’s just risking her career, and life probably, while he’s safe and sound behind bars. He notices her hand shaking, and she says she knows she said prison is hellish, but if Cyrus finds out she’s been working against him, she’s going to wish she was in Pentenville. He takes her hand, and says she’s not as selfish as she wants people to think. She says, try her, and the guard comes back, saying, time to finish up. Jason has another visitor. It’s Sam.

Sonny says, Nina writes for a magazine, right? and she says she does. He asks why she doesn’t write an article on Nixon Falls. Tell people what’s going on there, and people will come there and spend money; it will tide people over. Phyllis says, it’s a wonderful idea, and asks if Nina thinks it’s possible. Nina says she’d love to help, but Crimson is a fashion magazine. He asks if she only writes about clothes, and not human interest, and she says, sometimes they do. He asks, what’s the problem? and she says she’s on a leave of absence. She has communication with her team, but the second in command is running the day to day business. She doesn’t think it would be appropriate for her to overrule their decisions, unless she was ready to go back to work. Phyllis says, of course (🍷). She completely understands. Nina’s been through a lot, and deserves some time off. She’ll grab Nina some water for her ride. Nina says, no, but Phyllis says, don’t be silly. They have plenty of bottles in the back. She leaves, and Sonny looks at Nina. Nina says, what? and he says he thinks she’s making a mistake.

Brook says Jason seems good; no lingering affects from the trauma. She leaves, and the guard locks the cell. He leaves, and Sam says, Molly told her Jason was arrested. She wanted to make sure everything was all right. He says he appreciates her checking up on him; he’s okay. She asks if he has a plan, and he says they’re working on it. She says she knows Peter killed Franco, and he says, but Peter is framing him, and they all know how good he is at that. Getting out of there isn’t going to be easy. Britt listens in.

Cyrus says, maybe Gladys’s eyesight isn’t what it used to be. She says she saw Jason with the gun used to kill Franco. Carly says, that’s right, and he says, perhaps on further reflection, she’ll realize she couldn’t possibly have seen Jason dispose of the weapon. Wouldn’t it be a relief if she were to suddenly recant her story? Just as it would be a relief if his mother was returned to him. Are they understanding each other? She says she thinks they do, and he says he looks forward to hearing from her.

Gladys says Sasha and Brando seem close, and he says, they’re just friends. She asks if that’s why he keeps stealing looks in Sasha’s direction. She’ll just say this. Does he think it’s wise to get involved with someone else in recovery? She thought that was a big no-no.

On the phone, Michael tells Willow where to find Wiley’s toy. He knows how cranky Wiley gets without Mr. Trunks. Sasha says, Mr. Trunks? and he says, it’s Wiley’s stuffed elephant, like we couldn’t guess that. She says, it doesn’t sound like Willow is holding a grudge about Nina, and he says he thinks she’s more disappointed than angry. She’s upset that he left her out, and he shouldn’t have. She says, if anyone knows he’s looking out for Wiley, it’s Willow, so don’t beat himself up. That said, when it’s time to register Wiley for preschool, consult Willow. He says he will, and she says she does feel sorry for Nina. Does it bother him that she said that? He says, no. He feels bad for her too. That’s why he and Willow brought Wiley to Crimson in the first place. He hopes it does work out someday. She asks if that’s why Nina left town, and he says Nina had to clear her head; she needs help. He hopes she gets it.

Sonny says he’s not a publisher, but Nina is the boss, right? She can pretty much print whatever she wants. She says he’s probably right, but he heard what Phyllis said. She’s been through a lot these past few months. She needs time to heal and recover. She needs time to… He says, balance the scales? She was wondering how to make the world right when she’s been wronged. Maybe she can help some people who’ve been good to her. Phyllis dropped everything to go to New York when Nina needed her. Maybe Nina can do the same.

🤔 Here’s where it got tricky. The video I was watching suddenly changed to today’s rerun. But then I found a different one. It had a janky soundtrack, but…

Olivia tells Dante, she used to think the spy life was romantic, but the WSB seems like a disaster from top to bottom. Anna says she’s no one to talk, but she’d like to point out Robert. He spent his whole career with the WSB, and he’s really a good person. He’s not unique. There really are some good guys in the WSB. Olivia says she’ll take Anna’s word for it. She asks if Dante is ready to go, and he says there’s a nap with his name on it. He thanks Anna, and they leave. She makes a call, saying she needs to see someone, right away.

Phyllis comes back with the water, and Nina says she changed her mind. She thinks she might stay a while. Mike is right. She could probably pull a few strings and get an article written about this place. Phyllis says, really? and Nina says, it might not see print for a while, but she’d like to help out any way she can. Phyllis hugs Nina, and says it means the world to her, but is Nina sure she doesn’t mind putting off her trip? Nina asks, what difference do a few days make? and Sonny says, none.

Michael tells Sasha, he thinks their impulse is to be strong. They tell themselves they can do this, but sometimes they need someone to guide them. Not tell them what to do, but help them figure a way out. Sasha agrees, and says it was nearly impossible for her to show up for her first counseling session. Everyone was telling her to go, but she was so humiliated and locked inside herself, it took everything in her. She knows it’s vastly different circumstances, but maybe Nina isn’t there yet. He hopes Nina gets there, and realizes the best thing for her and Wiley is for her to deal with this. Sasha hopes Nina gets there too.

Brando says Sasha’s recovery is none of Gladys’s business, and Gladys says Sasha told her personally. He says they’re just friends, and she says that’s not what it looks like to her. He tells her, look more closely. Sasha and Michael are clearly trying to work things out. She tells him, if he says so.

The waitress brings a chocolate cake with a candle to the table, and Laura says she wanted to celebrate Martin’s birthday. He thanks her, and says he’s truly touched. She says, have at it, and he blows out the candle. Cyrus comes by, and asks what Martin wished for.

Britt tells Sam, she knows they’re not each other’s biggest fans, but they have a common goal. Jason didn’t kill Franco. Sam says, what about Peter? Britt thinks he did it, and Sam says, he’s more dangerous to Maxie than they thought. Britt asks what they’re going to do about it.

Carly visits Jason, who’s very popular in jail. He asks if everything is okay, and she says, it will be. She’s getting him out of there. No matter what it takes.

🤷🏽 Okay, here’s where I ran out of options. I think there’s a little bit more, but I looked through 47,000 (slight exaggeration) videos, and couldn’t find one that had anything further. This episode is scheduled to be shown tomorrow, so we’ll find out then.

📽 For Real: The Story of Reality TV premiered on E! and its first episode was a trip down Reality Lane. Andy Cohen is the host, and he told us, in the golden age of Hollywood, celebrities were glamorous and unattainable. Once TV came along, they became more accessible, beginning with Lucille Ball. I know. I wouldn’t have thought of her either, but her show I Love Lucy did mirror her life somewhat. We found out that 12 hours before giving birth in reel life, Lucy had given birth in real life. Geez, here’s your hat, what’s your hurry. Get back to work. From there, surprisingly skipping An American Family, they jumped to MTV’s Cribs and The Real World. Then The Osbournes, who were the first celebrity family in reality TV. Andy explained that celebrities found that it was a vehicle for getting new fans, and Anna Nicole Smith followed, along with the Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie effort The Simple Life. The Girls Next Door was originally supposed to be about Hugh Hefner co-parenting with his ex, but Hef thought that was the dumbest idea he’d ever heard, and it morphed into a show about three residents of the Playboy mansion. The girls spun off Kendra on Top, Kendra Wilkinson’s life with husband Hank Baskett, which got kind of messy when Hank cheated with a transgender woman. Then there was Breaking Bonaduce, and the Holy Grail of reality shows, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which launched its cast from unknowns to the biggest stars in the world. They showed a clip from a Barbara Walters interview, where Barbara said they were famous for being famous, and Khloe said, but they were still entertaining people. Although I can’t say I’m a fan – I’ve actually seen very little of those shows – I had to admit she had a point. They agreed that Bruce Jenner’s transition to Caitlyn Jenner was the most difficult thing they’d had to go through on the show, since there was little precedent for the situation. It was fun to see clips from reality shows past, and I think this one’s a winner.

Next time, a reunion of some Real World NYC cast members, and interviews with reality stars.

🍸 Overserved was great! Everything I wanted it to be. LVP explained the premise as being the creation of a one-time only event, with a unique theme, exquisite food, unforgettable moments, and revealing conversation. This week, she prepared a Tuscan feast for guests Joel McHale and Cheryl Hines at Villa Rosa. Schnookie and Puffy were also in attendance, and Lisa had a Lady and the Tramp spaghetti moment with Puffy, as did Cheryl with Schnookie. Joel is one of the funniest human beings on the face of the earth, and did not disappoint, and Cheryl was not so bad herself. Some new factoids for me were that Cheryl is married to Robert Kennedy Jr., and Joel was born in Rome. However, when Lisa asked if he knew Italian, he said spaghetti and lasagna. The whole show just made me want to be there.

Next time, Lisa’s guests are – my favorite drag queen – Trixie Mattel and Iggy Azalea  

🏖 Summer House was the usual not-even-hot, more like lukewarm, mess. The guys got drunk and stupid, with the exception of Carl, while the girls had a spa night. Kyle was so mature that, instead of using one of the many bathrooms in the house like an adult, he got busy watering the plants, announcing it like it was an achievement. In her interview, Danielle gave props to Carl for having his sh*t fully together and his priorities straight. The group had a theme party, where the housemates represented different states, and set up their own pubs. Hannah told us that since they couldn’t go out to the pubs, they’d bring them to the house. This was actually pretty cool until someone wondered who the first one to puke would be, and I remembered what show I was watching. The HUGE topic of the night was, did Luke and Lindsay hook up? Especially since a psychic had confirmed it. Luke didn’t want to talk about his feelings, but It didn’t help any when he and Lindsay left the theme party together. Luke tried talking to Ciara, who wanted to give him boundaries. All she did was confuse him, and she ended up suggesting they not be friends, because it would be easier. Carl said Luke didn’t have the ability to own his truth, and I wondered what they even means anymore? Not to mention, Carl delivered that message while wearing his Amish pub owner’s getup. And who knew there was a rule that you don’t text a female after 9 pm unless you want to hook up? Not me. Kyle put his finger in Luke’s face, and said he exerted his power over women. It ended with Kyle walking out, then stomping back, bringing production with him, and a near brawl between Kyle and Luke, with the others holding them back from each other. Maybe these people just shouldn’t drink. Or go to the Hamptons. Or go anywhere.  

🛴 Time To Scoot…

Well, it’s been an interesting day for TV. Since tomorrow will be relatively open, I’m folding my tent and sneaking off into the night. There will be plenty of time to pour you some tea tomorrow. Wherever you’re sneaking off to, stay safe, stay as festive as possible, and stay not making it your job to balance the scales, and let it be up to fate.