What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy says she recalls Brook saying she owed her when she helped Chase get reinstated, and she wondered when Tracy was going to ask her to pay up. Brook says, right, and Tracy accused her of being like her father, only thinking in terms of money and stock market shenanigans. Tracy says, relax. She’s not going to ask Brook for money or stock, but she has thought of something Brook can do for her that will settle the account. Brook says she really does want to pay Tracy back, but right now’s not the right time, with Willow’s life hanging by a thread, and Michael needing their love and support. Everyone’s distracted. It’s not the time for her to take on a new project. Tracy says, exactly. The family is distracted. It’s the perfect time for Brook to do something without attracting unwanted attention from her nearest and dearest. And lucky for Brook, Tracy knows exactly how she’s going to do it.

Sasha says, Maxie wants her to take her place on the Home & Heart shopping channel? Go back on the same show where she had a nervous breakdown on national TV? Maxie says she wouldn’t be asking, but she has this stupid sinus infection, and Sasha is the only one who can step in and tell everyone about the wonders of their beauty breakthrough, The Deceptor. Gladys says, what about Lucy? and Maxie says, the whole world thought she was dead. Knowing Lucy, she would feel the need to explain she wasn’t really dead; she was being held captive by Victor Cassadine. She would make the whole thing about herself and the product would get lost. No. No, Gladys. It has to be Sasha. Sasha says, her last appearance was a literal nightmare. She hallucinated Liam, which almost cost them the company, not to mention the toll it took on her mental health. Besides, she can’t imagine Home & Heart would want her back on the air. She’s sorry, but… Maxie says, if she says no… She’ll forgive Sasha, but there is one person who never will.

At The Savoy, N’neka places a glass in front of Selina, and says, her usual, the house mocktail with a twist of lime. Selina says, it’s kind of her to remember. As for her private party… N’neka says she has instructions to reserve the backroom for her nephew’s birthday party, and Selina says, excellent. Then everything’s being taken care of. Cody comes over, and says, not everything. She still needs someone who knows his way around a deck of cards. He produces a Jack of Hearts playing card.

Chase walks into the squad room, and everyone applauds. He and Dante bro hug, and says, it’s good to be back. He finds a card alongside a Red Sox mug on his desk, and says, here he wondered if anyone cared he was back to work. Dante pulls out a stack of folders, and says he especially cares, because these are for Chase. He puts them on Chase’s desk and says, have at it. Chase opens the first folder and sees Cody’s picture, and Dante asks how it feels. Chase says, honestly? It kind of feels like he never left. Why isn’t Dante at GH? Dante says he was, but Willow’s in isolation now. There’s only so many times he can tell Michael, it’s going to be okay. Chase asks how Willow is doing, and Dante says, she’s weak, but everyone is optimistic because Drew’s back with Obrecht. Chase says, the bone marrow transplant’s going to work, and Dante says, here’s hoping. In the meantime, he’s going to distract himself with work. Chase asks if he needs help, and Dante points to the pile, and says, those. Chase says, things look pretty bad for Dante’s friend Cody, but Dante says, sometimes things aren’t always what they seem.

Portia says, Trina finally made it home, and Taggert says, and they have Curtis to thank for that, going over to Curtis and shaking his hand. Curtis says, it wasn’t just him. It took a whole team to make this happen. Laura says, yes, it took all of them, and Trina says she wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Curtis, Laura, and all the others, but most especially, she wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Spencer. Well, technically, she wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for Spencer. Taggert says, Curtis is right. Trina’s safe and so are all the other people who could have been hurt if Victor had his way. Spencer says, the good thing is, Uncle Victor didn’t get his way, and Laura says, amen to that. Now it’s time to focus on the living, starting with her sweet little grandson, who hopefully will be growing up in a much better world. First of all, they need to have him checked out to make sure he didn’t suffer any injuries during his captivity or rescue. Portia says, of course (🍷). She’ll take Laura to pediatrics. Laura says, that’s okay. They’re waiting for them. Trina asks if Spencer wants her to come, and he says, thanks, but he thinks his grandmother can handle this. He thinks it’s probably best that Trina be with her family right now. They leave for pediatrics, and Portia tells Trina, despite everything Spencer’s baby brother has gone through, he’s far too young to understand everything that’s happening, so she thinks he’s going to be fine. On the other hand, Portia needs to make sure her little baby girl is all right. Trina says, she’s fine, but there’s one thing she needs, and Portia says, anything. Trina says she needs to talk to her dad.

Sasha wonders who wouldn’t forgive her for not going on Home & Heart. Is Maxie talking about Valentin, or one of the other investors? She embarrassed them once, and won’t risk another meltdown on air. Maxie says, if Sasha doesn’t get back on that horse, or bicycle, or any metaphor she wants to use, the only person who’s never going to forgive her is her. The last time, she was in a really bad place, and Maxie saw her get through that. She knows Sasha is much stronger than she’s ever been before. She wouldn’t be asking Sasha to do this if she didn’t fully believe that. Let’s be real. Sasha’s not just another person in this company; she’s the Face of Deception. And while it’s true, some people get a twisted thrill out of watching others fall down, what people love even more is a redemption story. There’s not a woman out there who didn’t feel Sasha’s pain, and they want to see she’s come back from that. She absolutely cannot say no. Gladys says, maybe Sasha can’t say no, but she can.

Cody holds out the card, and says, it’s Selina’s for the taking. She says, if that’s supposed to be his calling card, it should be a Joker. As for tonight’s poker game, his presence won’t be required. He says, since when? and she says, her guests enjoy playing for high stakes, not with known common criminals. Not only was he foolish enough to steal a bracelet at the Nurses Ball, he made it worse by getting caught. He says he’s innocent, and she says, for his sake, she hopes that’s true. Prison can be so confining. Regardless, didn’t he recently tell her that he wanted out of the game? He says he did, but times change. Defense attorneys don’t come cheap. Have a heart and let him play for his usual cut. She says, he may dream big, but at the end of the day, he’s just a petty thief, and there’s just no room at the table for that.

Chase asks if Dante buys that someone planted a bracelet in Cody’s pocket, and Dante says, ever since he’s known Cody, he’s been in trouble; trouble finds him. When he landed in town last year, Dante thought maybe he left all that behind, but maybe he’s still working angles whenever he can. However, this friendship with Sasha seems legit. Why would he steal her mother-in-law’s bracelet and hide it in his coat pocket? It’s ridiculous. Chase asks if Cody wasn’t friends with Britt Westbourne. Didn’t that involve some jewelry too? Dante says, yeah, but sometimes people do the wrong things for the right reasons. He gets that, and thinks Chase is familiar with that concept as well.

Brook says, helping Chase get his badge back is worth any price, and Tracy says she wants Brook to go back to Deception, the sooner, the better. Brook says, Tracy wants her to get her old job back? and Tracy says, she didn’t burn any bridges when she left, did she? Brook says, no, of course (🍷) not. Those women are all her friends, but she only started working there in the first place to help Maxie. Brook was pretending to be Bailey Lou’s mother, and the only time Maxie could see her child was when Brook brought her to daycare at work. Tracy says, and when Maxie got her child back, Brook stayed at Deception, correct? and Brook says she did. She liked working there; the people, the products… But it’s not what she wants to do with her life. Her passion is music, or doesn’t Tracy remember telling her as a kid not to follow in her dear old dad’s footsteps when he was singing as Eddie Maine? It’s a good thing she didn’t take Tracy’s advice. Not only has she reclaimed the rights to her songs, but all these opportunities are opening up for her now; to produce music and rep musicians. Tracy says, Brook can write all the songs she wants after Brook does this for her, and Brook asks, what part of I quit is unclear to her? Tracy says, unquit. Tell Maxie that she misses working with her. Make nice to Sasha, and God forbid, flatter Lucy Coe. Tell Lucy she wants to learn from her. Brook says, this doesn’t make any sense. Why does Tracy care if she works at a cosmetics company? What is she really after? Tracy says she wants Brook to make herself indispensable, and Brook says she always tries to do that. Tracy says, while she’s at it, keep her eyes open. She wants Brook to find out what’s happening at Research and Development. She doesn’t want to know what the next hot thing for summer is, or what’s going to sell in the fall. She wants to know what’s down the pipeline. Brook says she doesn’t get it. Tracy doesn’t care about ELQ, and now all of a sudden she’s into the cosmetics biz? Tracy tells her, let’s just say I’m curious. From time to time, she’ll check in with Brook, and Brook will tell her what the next big thing is. Brook can do that for her, can’t she? After what she did for Chase? Does that sound like a fair deal to her? Brook says, it sounds like corporate espionage. Is Tracy asking Brook to be her personal spy?

Chase says he’s mad his share of mistakes, but stealing expensive jewelry isn’t one of them, and Dante says, that’s good. It’s also good to have him back. Chase says he didn’t do it on his own; he had help. Dante says, so he and Brook… and Chase says, if Dante were to ask him before the Nurses Ball, he would have said, no way. Dante says, but after she did that thing, standing up to her dirtbag ex-manager? and Chase says, it saved him the trouble of smacking the guy again. Not that he would have. Dante says, never, and Chase tells him, it’s like Dante said about Cody. Sometimes you do the wrong thing for the right reasons.

Cody says, if Selina vouches for him, the other players will come around, and she says, what keeps the poker games running smoothly and profitably is avoiding the curious eyes of authorities. And yet he expects her to allow a common jewel thief to sit at the table? How can she explain that to her guests? How could she retain their trust? He says, by telling them the truth. She says, and what is that? and he says, that he’s not a thief. He was framed.

Gladys says she’s sorry, but she can’t let Maxie use her daughter-in-law to sell some newfangled beauty product; not when her mental health is at stake. Sasha thanks Gladys for standing up for her, but she knows Maxie means well. Gladys says, maybe if it was a different show or  a different studio, but to go back to the same place where Sasha had her breakdown? She won’t agree to that. Maxie says, Gladys is actually proving her point. It is Sasha’s well-being she’s thinking about. She needs to face her fears by doing the same show. Gladys says, what if she’s not ready? and Maxie says, isn’t that for Sasha to decide? Sasha asks if Maxie is sure no one else can make this presentation, and Maxie says, she and Sasha are the only ones who’ve been following this product since its planning stages. Nobody knows how to sell it like they do. She wishes she were up to the challenge, but her sinuses are holding her back. But Sasha is up for it. Maxie knows she is. Sasha says, maybe Maxie is right. Maybe the only way to conquer her fear is to face it. Gladys says, legally, it’s up to her to decide, and she won’t let Sasha do it.

Portia asks if Curtis is sure he doesn’t need to see a doctor, but he says, it’s just cuts and bruises. She really should see the other guy. She says she wasn’t only worried for Trina. If anything had happened to him, she doesn’t know… He says, it’s over, and she says, is it?

On the phone, Laura says, they’re all here at the hospital. She thinks they really want to be here.

Spencer promises Ace that this exam is not going to hurt, when Laura walks in, and asks how Ace is doing. Spencer says, he’s good. He was telling Ace that when Laura used to take him to the doctor, she told him if he was good he’d get a lollipop. He wishes things were still that simple. She says, they’re not that simple because things change, but some things never do. She produces a lollipop. Presumably for Spencer, since Ace is way too young for that.

Taggert and Trina go to Portia’s office, and he says, it’s just the two of them. Does she need to tell him something about this Spencer boy? She says, this isn’t about Spencer; it’s about him and her. She wanted to tell him first what she’s decided, because it could impact him more than anyone else. He asks what she’s decided, and she says she’s changed her mind. She wants to take the DNA test and find out the truth. She wants to be absolutely clear. No matter what the test results say, Taggert is still her dad. He says, like he’d let her forget that, and she says she’s serious. He says he was just trying to make it easier for her, but can he ask her why she changed her mind? She says, because of the last few days, and everything she’s been through. When things were at their worst, she saw how Spencer loved his little brother. It reminded her there’s nothing more important than family. That’s when she made the decision that if she made it through, she wasn’t going to let secrets come between her and her family ever again. He says, like her mom did, and she says, twenty years ago, her mother swept things under the rug because she was afraid to face the truth. And one day in the future, hopefully she’ll forgive her mom, but Trina’s not repeating her mistake. They all need answers, and she’s the only one who can get them.

 Portia says, when Curtis walked through the door, her heart skipped a beat. Just the thought that she might never see him again… He says he’s not going to lie. There were times out there when he thought he wasn’t going to make it. Hursley comes out of the elevator, and says, Curtis Ashford? Curtis asks, who wants to know? and Hursley says he’s an agent with the WSB, showing Curtis his ID. Curtis says he was already debriefed in Greenland, but Hursley says, not by him. Can he ask Curtis to join him for some additional questions? I wonder if coffee comes with that, and Curtis says, okay, let’s get it over with. They go into the elevator, and Curtis looks at Portia as the doors close.

Brook says she can’t be back at Deception, unless Tracy wants her employee discount for wrinkle cream. Tracy says she doesn’t have wrinkles; she has character. (She does look amazing, and aging naturally, thank you.) The only interest she has in cosmetics is lining her pockets with green. Brook can have all the music she wants, but this way, she can also have health insurance. It sounds like a win-win to her. Brook says, not a chance. She doesn’t know what Tracy is actually up to, but music is her life. Tracy laughs, and says, so Brook is telling her that Chase has no part in it. She called Tracy in tears. She begged Tracy to help her because the Board was about to deny his request for reinstatement. Brook says she’s repeatedly expressed her gratitude for Tracy’s help, and Tracy says, well that help, just like that shiny badge, comes at a price. Or is Brook deluded enough to think that little speech she gave single-handedly convinced them to give Chase another chance? She wonders how Chase would react if he knew he owed his badge not to Brook, but to her, and the very expensive strings she had to pull.

Chase says, Brook would have never gotten mixed up with Linc Brown again if she hadn’t been trying to get his badge back, and Dante says, so Chase is telling him there’s a chance. Chase asks if Dante doesn’t have a lot of work to do, and Dante says, actually, he does. He wants to start digging into that SEC case and see what they’ve got on Drew and Carly. The entire Quartermaine family, his mother included, believe that Ned was behind it. He’s not convinced. But then again, he wasn’t convinced when they found that stolen bracelet in Cody’s pocket either.

Cody tells Selina, Gladys Corbin set him up. She knows he’s onto the scam she’s running to bilk her daughter-in-law. Gladys is trying to discredit him before he blows her and her plan out of the water. Selina says she simply doesn’t care, and he says he respects her point-of-view, but he’s been a regular in that backroom poker game for a while now. Suddenly, if he’s a no-show, someone’s going to start asking questions. She says, such as? and he says, why was a petty thief allowed in the game to begin with?

Maxie says, it’s not up to Gladys to let Sasha do anything. She’s a grown woman with a mind of her own. Gladys says she knows that, but it’s not just her responsibility as Sasha’s court appointed guardian, but as a member of her family. Maxie says, so what Gladys is really telling her is, she’s afraid she’s going to lose money if Sasha has another meltdown, and Gladys says, that’s a low blow. Maxie’s talking about Sasha facing her fears, but what if those fears are too strong right now? What if she cracks again, and they can’t pick up the pieces? Sasha says, Gladys is right. She does have a say, but Sasha’s friends and partners at Deception have stood by her, and she’s ready to return the favor, and start living her life again.

Spencer thanks Laura, and says, orange too; he likes orange. This brings back memories. He puts the lollipop in his bag, and says he just wants to get the all-clear from the doctor so they can go home. He knows that means more time around Esme, and he hasn’t even told her that they’re home yet. He knows she has every right to be here because she’s Ace’s mom. She says she knew he was going to feel that way, so she hopes he doesn’t mind… He says, mind what? when Esme comes in, saying, where’s her baby? She takes Ace from Spencer, and cries happy tears. Laura says, Esme would be proud of her son. He was just as brave, if not braver, than everyone on the Haunted Star. Spencer says, they all made sure he was safe and warm, and Esme says, by we, he means him and Laura, right? He says, the two of them helped, but Trina also did a lot, and Esme says, tell Trina that she owes her a huge thank you, especially after what all these people say she did to hurt Trina. He says, if she knew Trina, she’d know Trina would never take it out on Ace, and Esme says she’s just glad the nightmare is over, and Victor Cassadine is… Laura says, dead. It’s really okay to say it. The world is a better place without him. Austin comes in and says he’s here to examine Ace. Esme is his mom, so she can stay, but Mayor Collins and Mr. Cassadine, let’s go. Spencer and Laura leave.

Trina tells Taggert, it’s been three months since her world turned upside down, and she found out it might be possible that Curtis… He says he gets it. She wants to know. She says, want to? No, but she feels like she needs to know. if Curtis is her biological father, then that means she’s related to Stella, and Marshall would be her grandfather. Taggert says he appreciates Trina sharing her decision with him. That’s very kind. That’s who he and Portia raised her to be. With that said, she doesn’t need his permission. She says, maybe not, but she’d like his blessing, and he says, she has it. Today, tomorrow, and forever. He kisses the top of her head and says, and he agrees with her. Secrets tear families apart. So go learn whatever she needs to learn, but if she thinks that these results will change who she is or him being her dad… She says, not ever, and hugs him.

Curtis says, so a WSB agent wants to talk with him alone. Is this where Hursley gets rid of him to close the book on Victor Cassadine? Hursley says, they don’t play those games anymore, and Curtis says he’s sure. So if Hursley doesn’t want to silence him, what is it that he wants? Hursley says, the Bureau is very impressed with the way Curtis handled himself amid all the chaos in Greenland, even if he went rogue in doing it, and Curtis says he’d do the same thing again if it meant saving someone he loves. Call it reckless if they want to. Hursley says, they call it initiative, and Curtis says he’s been around the block a few times. He knows if they’re looking at him, they already did their research into his background, so they know it wasn’t all pretty. Hursley says, they know he was a damn good cop before… Let’s just say he made some bad choices, but that was a long time ago. The bottom line is, they could use a man like Curtis. Curtis says he already has a job. He assumes the WSB already knows that. Hursley says, the WSB can’t be everywhere at once. They need assets in the fields; strictly off the books of course (🍷), but ready and able to help when needed. So what does Curtis think?

Maxie says, that is the Sasha Gilmore she knows and loves, and she’s not the only one. Sasha’s one appearance on Home & Heart made quite the impression. Sasha says she bets, but Maxie says, not in a bad way. People sympathize with her. They’ve been following her ever since. They’ll be rooting for her. Sasha says, that’s nice to hear. If she can just find a way to look into that camera again and think about the people watching as friends, as people who have problems just like she does, then maybe she can help them, as well as help herself. Maxie asks if she’s ever told Sasha that she’s her hero. And there’s nobody else she’d rather have… She sneezes, and Gladys hands her a tissue. Gladys says, the last thing she wants is to hold Sasha back. if Sasha really thinks she’s ready for this, Gladys won’t stand in her way. Sasha thanks her, and they hug. Gladys says she just hopes Sasha doesn’t regret it later, and leaves.

Brook says, okay, fine. She can admit Tracy may have persuaded the Review Board to give Chase his job back, but Chase also proved he deserved to be reinstated. Tracy says she agrees. Chase is a straight shooter; exactly her point. How does Brook think he’s going to feel when he finds out she went behind his back to Tracy? Better yet, let’s find out. Tracy gets out her phone, and Brook says, she’s bluffing. Tracy says, is she? As luck would have it, she has Chase on speed dial. She calls, and Dante asks who it is, but Chase says he doesn’t recognize the number. He’s about to hit ignore, when Dante says, hold on. Maybe it’s that anonymous SEC source. Chase answers, and Tracy says, Detective Chase, this is Tracy Quartermaine. Their paths crossed at Michael and Willow’s wedding, remember?

Curtis tells Hursley that there was a part of him that enjoyed all the action in Greenland. Who wouldn’t want to kick ass and take names, especially when the name’s Cassadine? Hursley says, so he can tell his superiors they can count on Curtis? but Curtis says, not exactly,  because there’s still a part of him that enjoys working at his nightclub; listening to live music, and making sure his customers are okay, and letting someone else be the tough guy. Hursley says he’ll take that as a maybe. He takes out his phone, and says, there’s no need to give him a definitive answer right now. Curtis’s phone dings, and Hursley says he just texted Curtis his private number. Think about it and give him a call, because that nightclub of his may seem a little tame after saving the planet.

Selina says, Cody’s not going to play his hand with her. The guests at her table trust her. He says, no doubt, but she’ll still have a lot of explaining to do. He thinks the better play is to double down on her faith in him. Gladys flies in, and says, don’t listen to him. He asks Gladys, what’s the matter? Guilty conscience? Gladys says she doesn’t know what lies Cody’s been feeding Selina, but the man was caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak. If Selina is as smart as Gladys thinks she is, she’ll get rid of him. Selina says, Gladys is half right, because she was thinking of getting rid of both of them.

Chase says, yes, of course (🍷) he remembers Tracy. Brook tries to grab Tracy’s phone, but Tracy shrugs her off, and says, isn’t he sweet. He asks what he can do for her, and she says, her granddaughter just told her that he got reinstated. Congratulations. He says, actually, he owes her granddaughter for standing up for him, and Tracy says, she’s nothing if not loyal. Since she’s back in town for a while, she’s decided she wants to take a better interest in the community. Shall they have lunch? Chase says, lunch? and Brook makes a cutting motion with her hands. Tracy says she’ll be in touch, and ends the call. Chase says, Dante’s mom is married to Ned, right? Does he speak Quartermaine? What the hell was that about? Tracy asks Brook, so what’s it going to be? Is Brook going to take the deal, or is she going to take the lunch?

Sasha tells Maxie that she doesn’t want to hurt her mother-in-law’s feelings, but she can’t depend on Gladys forever. Sooner or later, she has to take charge of her own life; her own choices, her own mistakes. Maxie says, the biggest mistake would be trusting Gladys more than she trusts herself. She’s not saying Gladys doesn’t care about Sasha, but she seems to see Sasha as some sort of victim; someone who needs protecting. Sasha asks how Maxie thinks of her, and Maxie says, besides the fact that Sasha is completely gorgeous, she sees Sasha as strong, capable, someone who has grown leaps and bounds this past year, and is ready to take on the world again. But before Sasha steps in front of those cameras, the only thing that matters is if she feels the same way.

Esme asks if her little boy is going to be all right, and Austin says, considering he survived an adventure on the high seas, and narrowly escaped an international incident, he’d say Ace is doing all right. But he could really use one thing. She says, please tell her, and Austin says, his mom, handing Ace to her.

Curtis asks if Trina and Taggert are still in Portia’s office, and Portia says, yes. Is everything okay? He says, nothing he can’t handle, when Taggert and Trina come out of the elevator. Taggert says, why doesn’t he just take off, but Trina says, no, stay. She was telling her dad, and she wanted Portia and Curtis to hear this from her, so they can stop asking questions and start living like a family again. In order to do that, she wants to get a DNA test.

Austin comes out with Esme and Ace, and Spencer asks, how’s Ace? Austin says, his little brother is doing great. He’s ready to go home. Spencer says, home, meaning all of them going back to living at his grandmother’s place, assuming it’s okay with Laura. Laura says, normally, she doesn’t like to speak for Doc, but she can say with real confidence that they wouldn’t have it any other way. Esme thanks Austin, and they get in the elevator.

Chase asks why Dante thinks Tracy wants to have lunch with him, and Dante says, if it were anyone else, he’d say she wants to talk about Chase and her granddaughter, but it’s Tracy Quartermaine. He thinks she’s got another agenda. Chase asks if Dante thinks he should stay away, and Dante says, he could, or he could be a detective and go out to lunch.

Tracy says, just remember, Detective Chase is only a phone call away, but Brook says, that won’t be necessary. Just as always, Tracy wins. When does Tracy want her to go back to working at Deception?

Sasha tells Maxie, how does she feel about going back in front of the cameras at Home & Heart? Part of her wants to run and hide, but she won’t give in to that fear. Even if she fails… Maxie says, she won’t, and Sasha thanks her, but says she won’t know until she’s there. Maxie says, so she’s in? and Sasha says she’s in. They high-five.

Selina tells Gladys and Cody to consider themselves warned, and says, if Cody can play his cards tonight the way he played them with her, he can have a place at the table. He thanks her, and says she won’t regret it. Gladys clears her throat, and Selina says she hasn’t forgotten about her. She, too, has a place at the table. Who knows? Maybe her luck will change.

Portia says she wishes she’d never put Trina in this position in the first place, but she’s proud of Trina for wanting to know the truth. Taggert seconds that, and Trina thanks them. It means a lot to her. Laura, Esme, Ace, and Spencer come out of the elevator. Spencer says, the doctor gave Ace the thumbs up that he’s healthy, so they’re going to take him home now to his grandmother’s. Trina says, she’s glad his little brother is okay, and they leave, Spencer touching Trina’s arm as they go past.

Tomorrow, Willow tells someone not to let it happen again; Diane tells Drew that it’s going to get worse before it gets better; Scotty is wondering if Obrecht feels the same way; and Dex says he only has two options here.

Vanderpump Rules

At Villa Rosa, Lisa welcomes Velvet, a new friend for Diamond. This has zero to do with anything else in the episode, but the pony is super cute. Ariana and Katie talk logistics of their sandwich shop, when Chef Consultant Penny arrives. She says the shop has good energy; it’s so charming. She’s immediately flooded with ideas. Katie says, they’re having a look-see party, and afterwards, having drinks at SUR. In Katie’s interview, she says, they’ve had to do a lot of work to change a vision to reality. Just like they have trailers for a movie, they want to get the buzz out there. Let people see the shop and taste the sandwiches. Even though opening a restaurant has been difficult, they have one advantage the Toms don’t. They’re willing to ask professionals for help. Katie asks Ariana if everything is okay with Lala, and Ariana says she doesn’t think the situation with Tom not leaving the barbecue is as big of a deal as it was to Lala. Katie says she had flashbacks about Schwartz now showing up for her, and Ariana says, she’s not getting mad at anyone for asking questions. In Ariana’s interview, she says, what Tom did at the barbecue isn’t important to her right now. She’s just annoyed because it puts her in a position for people to undermine her relationship by gossiping.🚩

Raquel and Charli go for retail therapy, and Charli asks how it was at TomTom. Raquel says, it was fun… Actually, it wasn’t fun; it was awkward when she said hi to Katie and her mom. We see a clip of that, and they return the greeting, barely, but say nothing else. She tells Charli that she had a conversation with James. She didn’t appreciate him saying he regretted Rachella. She said, obviously, he loves Ally, and he told her, it’s a different situation. He could never ask for a love like this. She’s pretty sure Ally doesn’t feel the same way. She thinks James is more into Ally than she’s into him, and Charli says, 100%. In Charli’s interview, she says, James sees Ally as his future wife, and Ally sees James as her current boyfriend. Raquel says, that’s why she called Ally her replacement, and in Raquel’s interview, she says she’s turned over a new leaf in overcoming her relationship with James. She needed to see him for who he is, and see Ally in her old position to comprehend it. She’s decided to choose herself over relationships, and stopped compromising in ways that took away from her as a person. Charli asks if Raquel was invited to the sandwich party, and Raquel says, no, but she’s okay with it. She thinks that they’re coming to SUR afterward, and Charli says she’s not taking time off anymore. It says a lot that she’d rather serve Pumptinis than party. They look at some jewelry, and Raquel buys the infamous lightning bolt necklace as birthday gift to herself.🚩Charlie says, she’ll never regret buying good jewelry. It’s an investment.

A long awaited couch arrives at Schwartz & Sandy’s, and In Schwartz’s interview, he says, this booth the last missing piece of the puzzle. They’re so close to being able to open the doors. It’s going to be glorious. Sandoval says he’s jealous of Katie and Ariana, and Schwartz says, their shop is so manageable. They’ve come this far, but still can’t open because they have no line cooks; it’s brutal. They have temporary cooks, but it never ends. He misses his family. Sandoval says he wants to go somewhere cool with Ariana, and Schwartz asks if they’ve been okay. Sandoval says he feels like his very presence annoys her🚩, and we flash back to several times Ariana told him, go away🚩, as we all would. Schwartz says he thinks it speaks to a bigger issue.🚩In his interview, Schwartz says, based on what he’s seen, Tom and Ariana have devolved to roommates.🚩 They lack the intimacy they once had when they hang out, and don’t even acknowledge each other.🚩It’s not looking good.🚩Sandoval says, Ariana doesn’t go out of her way for him like he does for her, and it hurts him at times.🚩Schwartz says, they need to address those things or it magnifies over time, and you become comfortable being d*cks to each other. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, there’s definitely a disconnect, and they argue more than they did earlier in the relationship.🚩In their nine years together, he can count on less than one hand the times Ariana has said he’s right. Schwartz tells him not to be like him and procrastinate. Don’t be Mr. Eventually.  

Ariana tells Sandoval that they’re doing four sandwiches, and shows him their logo. He asks if there’s anything he can do to help, but she says, just come and have fun. They talk about Lala questioning Sandoval🚩, and Ariana says she told Lala that she wasn’t mad at him for not leaving the barbecue, but he had to answer for himself; she’s not his spokesperson. Ariana does think he should have left when he saw there was no way for him to get a ride later🚩, but Sandoval says, he knew if he went home, he would want to do something and there was nothing he could do.🚩 Ariana says she’s not annoyed at him, but she’s annoyed at life, and he says, it’s been a lot. He feels like they’re not as connected lately. A lot of things have been bothering him, and they’re stacking up and being swept under the rug. It seems like his very presence annoys her.🚩Ariana tells him, those aren’t words she would say🚩, and he says, she snaps at him and belittles him in front of their friends. We flash back to her telling him that he’s acting weird🚩, and Sandoval says, it hurts his feelings. She says, he’s the only person she wants to hang out with more. It’s never just them, and she’s said that for months. Everyone else gets him peacocking on a night out, and all she gets are the leftovers.🚩 Sandoval says, the sh*t they’re both dealing with, he doesn’t feel as connected as they should be.🚩 They don’t even have a picture together from Scheana’s wedding. We see a few pictures of him with Raquel🚩, and Ariana says she doesn’t think pictures are a marker of connection. Sandoval tells her that he thinks it is, and wonders if she’s going to disagree with everything he says.🚩She says she agrees they’re not as connected as they used to be. They used to put on music and cook together, and don’t do that anymore.🚩 He says he wants them to be better; to be more intimate. Having sex four times year affects him.🚩 Ariana says, maybe he should spend time with her. She can’t have sex with someone who feels like a stranger.🚩 In her interview, she says, they need to focus on each other and have quality time. She wants emotional and physical intimacy🚩, but you can’t telepath a d*ck to a vagina from The Abbey. He asks what she sees as quality time, and she says, taking a walk together, making dinner together, not necessarily getting drunk together. It’s the definition of quality time. He says, that’s her definition🚩, and in Sandoval’s interview, a producer asks what his idea of quality time is. He says, taking mushrooms together and watching the sunrise. Skinny-dipping in the pool. Hang-gliding. He likes stimuli. Sandoval tells Ariana that she goes out with Logan, drinking and singing songs, but she says Sandoval doesn’t like the same things they like.🚩He’s not going to sit and watch Love Island with her. He says he doesn’t have time to watch fifty episodes of Love Island🚩, and she says, that’s literally all they talk about. He says he loves her and wants them to be better. She says she does too, but he has as many guards and walls up as she does.🚩

James and Ally’s cat dodges Ally’s pet, which has nothing to do with anything, but it’s pretty funny because, cats. In James’s interview, he says, the time has come for him to perform at the Imagine festival for three days in Georgia. Whenever he reads his name on the flyer, he feels butterflies in his stomach. We see the flyer, and he’s like the 5000^th one down. He says, Ally is coming. They support each other in things that make them happy and help fulfil their needs, like how his DJ’ing pays the rent. He tells her that a car is picking them and taking them to the sandwich party, then taking them to the airport. She asks about the attire, and he says, Lisa is going to be there. She wonders if that means she should wear a gown. He asks if she’s okay with chatting with Lisa, and in his interview, he says, first impressions are important. He feels like introducing Ally to Lisa is like introducing her to his mom. He wants everyone to get along, and for them to be invited to Villa Rosa dinners. He tells Ally that he’s setting up a therapy session on Monday, and she says she’s holding him to it. He hasn’t been bad or crazy, but throwing the drink at the beach wasn’t cool. She knows his emotions come out intense, and he directs them at his friends and the people he loves. He says, there’s only so much he can take before he gets pissed off, and in his interview, he says, when he sees therapy in the movies, it’s because someone’s life is in shambles. Everyone wants to tell him that he has a problem, but take a look at his life with Ally and talk about their own life problems. He doesn’t need to talk about his engagement fail and his world class proposal going to sh*t.  

Sandoval goes to Schwartz’s place to get ready for the sandwich party. Schwartz says he’s going in positive, and Sandoval asks if he’s cool with Katie. Schwartz says, if he senses she’s uncomfortable, he’ll dip out. Katie’s still pissed at him. A gossip blogger claimed he saw Schwartz and Raquel making out all night, and Katie was texting him about it being thrown in her face. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he never would have kissed Raquel had he known what the fallout would be, and how much it would hurt Katie. It was a lovely kiss, but not worth the blowout. He tells Sandoval that he thinks Katie’s at the tail end of this Raquel thing, and Sandoval asks if he saw Katie’s mom. Schwartz says, she’s upset with him because she sees her daughter distraught and upset, and he’s the one causing that.

Everyone gets ready for the party. Penny tells Ariana and Katie that if Lisa has a sandwich named after her, she’d better get one too. James and Ally are the first to arrive. Ariana gets them a welcome cocktail, and they taste the Greek salad sandwich, which they rave over. James asks if Schwartz is coming, but Katie says she hasn’t talked to him. If he comes, he comes; if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. Lisa comes in, and in Lisa’s interview, she says she’s happy to see them moving forward with the space and the concept. As she always says, if you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman. James tells Lisa about the festival, and she asks how many people he’ll be playing to, but he says that doesn’t matter as much as the connections he’ll make. And his baby is going to be there to support him. Lisa says, more like keep an eye on him, but Ally says, no. She’s coming to support James. James tells Lisa that Ally’s no pushover; she stands her ground. Lisa says, Ally needs to hold tight and stand strong. James can be disrespectful. In her interview, Lisa says, Ally needs to put a strong bit in James’s mouth. If he’s on his own, she’s not sure he’s going to make it. Ally says, James is going to see a therapist, and Lisa says, he’s getting better, but he’s not there yet. They leave, and Lisa samples a sandwich. She says she likes the presentation; it’s unique and sexy. She loves it, and says she knew Penny would come in useful one day. Katie’s mom Teri comes in, and in Katie’s interview, she says she’s so happy her mom is here to see her take a step as a business owner. She also wants Teri to be comfortable there, since she’ll be putting her ass to work ASAP. Kristina comes in with Lala and some guy, and she asks Ariana if Raquel is coming. Ariana says she texted, saying she didn’t want to make Katie uncomfortable, but she’ll be at SUR. In Ariana’s interview, she says, once again she’s in the middle. She’s not picking a side, but this seemed like a compromise that will make everyone happy for once. Lisa leaves for SUR. Scheana calls and says she feels fine, but she’s testing positive for covid. The Toms arrive with flowers for Ariana and Katie. Schwartz says he loves his and Sandoval’s spot, but this is perfect, and Teri takes a photo of Katie and Ariana by their sign. Katie says, this was just the beginning of the vision for Something About Her. Ariana says, it’s just a taste of what’s to come, and they head to SUR for drinks and more sandwiches.  

Schwartz tells Sandoval, the sandwich shop is going to open before them; it’s scary. He tells Lisa, happy birthday, and more sandwiches come out. In Sandoval’s interview, he says he and Ariana have been together nearly ten years. He loves her, but because they’re different as people, they’ve grown apart.🚩The issues they’re having aren’t just her fault; they’re his also. He’s hoping get back to where they were. It’s the best relationship he’s ever been in. Schwartz tells Teri, as hard as the breakup was, he misses holidays with her, and she says she told him that he’ll always be family, but he blew it. They had a mutual agreement; nobody in the friend group. Schwartz says, Katie was the one who divorced him, and it was the right decision, but it broke his heart. Six months went by, he was drunk in Mexico, and made out with Raquel. He wasn’t thinking about the agreement. He admits it was insensitive, and Teri says she understands, but it was kind of a real slap in the face. She tears up, and says, it would be so hurtful to any woman. What he did hurt Katie. Was it worth it? He says, no. He loves her and Katie so much. Raquel and Ariana go to the garden bar, and Ariana says she’s glad Raquel is here, but she understands Katie’s feelings. If she were in Katie’s shoes, she’d feel some type of way (I hate that phrase so much – can we not even label our feelings anymore?), but she wants to reiterate that Raquel is still the same sweet person, and she loves Raquel. Raquel isn’t the one Katie had an agreement with, but when she reminded Katie of that, Katie reminded her of what was said in the wine shop. We flash back to Raquel telling Katie that Schwartz was respecting her boundaries, and Katie asking, what about Raquel?🚩Ariana says, they cried together and hugged. Does Raquel feel like things changed in Vegas? Raquel says she realized she shouldn’t put so much emphasis on what people think about her, and earn people’s friendship. She doesn’t need to be friends with Katie and Lala. The trip showed her that. As Dr. Phil would say, so how’s that workin’ for ya? Raquel asks how Ariana and Sandoval are, and Ariana says they had a big argument last night. Sandoval feels like he’s not being heard, and that’s why he’s the loudest in the room. Raquel asks if Ariana remembers when she told her about her and James not having sex, and Ariana said she and Sandoval go through dry spells.🚩 Ariana says, when she comes home from working all night, and then he whips his d*ck out, she’s going to say, oh yeah, let’s f***? It’s never going to happen. They need to spend time together. Raquel says she thinks if you’re in a relationship, you should want to have sex🚩, and Ariana says, you have to be emotionally intimate first. Raquel says, Ariana and Sandoval were on the same wavelength at some point, and Ariana says, they need to work on their connection. She asks if Ariana is still sexually attracted to Sandoval🚩, and Ariana says she thinks he’s so f***ing hot (another dude where I can’t see it), but she’s not hot. She begins to criticize her own body, and Raquel stops her, saying, she’s in her own head. She does this to herself too, and it’s f***ed up. She gets all weepy and says she believes they’re a lot prettier than they think they are. They’re their own worst critics and it translates into their sex lives. Apparently, she’s been reading Cosmopolitan again. In Raquel’s interview, she says, she’s sure body image and insecurities have a role in Ariana and Sandoval’s issues. If you’re not feeling good about yourself, no way can you have good sex.🚩Raquel says, Ariana clearly wants to stay in the relationship, and Ariana says, she wouldn’t have had this conversation if she didn’t. Raquel says, not everyone is that way. She should have broken up with James earlier. She wasn’t attracted to him anymore. Ariana says she thinks they’ll talk things out and they’ll be fine. She and Raquel drink a lemon drop shot.

The sandwiches are a big hit, and Raquel and Peter toast to a great summer. Lala asks if Ken and Lisa like the sandwiches, and Lisa says she tasted some before. They’d already had a taste test at her house. Ken says, it will all be hers when Lisa kicks him out, and Lisa says, when she sees the light after 40 years. Lala asks if Lisa thinks someone her age can find someone that they could be with that long, and Lisa says, of course. It depends on what you put into it. Lala says, she just wants another baby. She’s scarred by what she’s going through, and the next go around she wants an absolute on the future with her kid. In Lala’s interview, she says she wants to give Ocean a sibling, but wants no chance of the baby being taken from her.  She tells Lisa that she doesn’t want being with her child every day dependent on someone else’s behavior, and in her interview, she says, the next step is to find a sperm donor, and her co-parent will be her mom. Lisa says, it’s a helluva line to draw in the sand, and asks if Lala doesn’t want a loving relationship. Lala says she hopes her future holds someone to love and adore and grow old with, but she doesn’t want to put her life on hold waiting for a man. She recognizes herself again for the first time in a long time.

Somebody tells Schwartz that he doesn’t smell great, and he blames it on the new shirt he didn’t wash before wearing and sweated on. He takes a lemon wedge, and uses it as deodorant. Raquel strolls over to Katie and sits next to her. She congratulates Katie on the sandwich shop, and says, after the vibe at TomTom, she thought it best not to come, but she tried the sandwiches and they taste bomb. Moving on, she says she knows Katie heard about her and Schwartz making out, and then rage texted Schwartz about it. Katie says, she didn’t rage text, and Raquel wonders if she asked if it was true. Katie says, yeah, and Raquel asks, what’s her point? Katie says, Schwartz keeps gaslighting her that she’s overreacting about the Cancun thing. We flash back to that, and Raquel says, Katie filed for divorce. If they make out, it’s none of her business. Katie asks what the f*** Raquel is doing right now, and in Raquel’s interview, she says, Katie’s never been one of her friends, and Schwartz told her how much the rage texts bother him, but he doesn’t have the balls to say anything. In this situation she would appreciate someone standing up for her. Katie says, they were together for twelve years, which Raquel can’t comprehend, and Raquel says, Katie shouldn’t be texting Schwartz these things. It’s not Katie’s place. Katie asks why it matters to her., and Raquel says, Katie’s been living her life, and has a boyfriend. Katie says, she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and she and Schwartz had conversations about this and about respect. Raquel says she doesn’t appreciate Katie threatening to take the dogs from him, and Katie says, Raquel doesn’t have to appreciate anything. In Katie’s interview, she says she doesn’t know what possessed Raquel to tell her how to run her life. She’d sooner take advice from someone off the street. STFU. She asks Raquel, how thick is her skull? This is her husband, and he and Raquel have been friends for five minutes. Raquel has zero respect. No empathy and no respect. How the f*** was she raised? Raquel says, maybe she has more empathy for Schwartz, and Katie says, that’s clear. She suggests Raquel take her opinion and stick it up her ass. She asks if Lala is hearing this sh*t, and Lala says she’s in awe. Katie thinks Raquel should leave, and Raquel says she just had a bomb ass glamping trip with her best, closest friends🚩, and Schwartz is a new addition to her life🚩. Katie says she’s losing her f***ing mind, and Lala says, she’d have a more productive conversation with a pig; be done with it. In Lala’s interview, she says she doesn’t know why Katie is wasting her time arguing with this buffoon of a person. They’ve known her a long time. She’s going to get nowhere. Teri asks if her conversation with Raquel meant anything, and Raquel says, oh God.🚩Katie says, that’s her mom. Have some respect. Lala asks how Raquel was raised, and Katie says, Raquel is a little c-word. Walk away.  

Katie says she’s so f***ing done with Raquel, and at this point, it’s getting pretty loud and getting more attention. Lisa wonders what’s going on, and Raquel says, in her experience, with her f***ing friends who support her… Katie says, what f***ing friends? and Teri says, Raquel was disrespectful and it hurt her so much. Raquel says, she was just being honest. Her first step to being a Housewife, since that’s Housewifespeak for being a bitch. Acting like he has a dog in this fight – oops, he does🚩 – Sandoval says, Katie and Schwartz weren’t together, but Katie says she hasn’t signed any papers yet. Ariana tells them to let Teri finish, and Teri says, Katie and Schwartz love each other, and they’re selling the home they wanted to raise a family in. That’s so hurtful. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, it’s tacky for Katie to have her mom fight her battles. No one is going to clap back at Mrs. Maloney (even though Raquel did just that). It’s kind of f***ed up. Raquel says, Katie told Scheana… and Teri says, that’s so wrong, but Sandoval says, that actually happened. Katie tells him go away, and he says, she thinks she owns the floor. She thinks she owns every situation. When she was still living with Schwartz, she was banging another dude. How did she think Schwartz felt? Raquel says she’s sorry it hurts, and tries to put her hand on Katie, who says, don’t touch me. Raquel says, sorry she’s jealous, and Katie tells her again to walk away. Raquel says she’s done, and walks out. Sandoval tells Teri that it seems the only perspective that matters is hers and Katie’s. Peter asks Schwartz if he’s hiding, but Schwartz says, he’s just taking a breather. By now, Ariana is full-on crying, and tells Lisa that she just wants to go home. She loves both Katie and Raquel, and now there’s all this yelling. Lisa says, it’s been a long time coming, but she doesn’t like that they’re all on Raquel’s case, and she doesn’t think Schwartz hiding is helping anything. Schwartz looks at the ceiling and whistles nonchalantly. Ariana tells Lisa that she’s emotional, and Lisa says, she just lost her dog and her grandmother. Ariana says, she wants to show up for her friends, but she can’t, and in Ariana’s interview, she says, she hates being stuck in the middle of her friends or her friends and her boyfriend. She’s tries to help and give advice and be there for everybody, but she literally feels like she’s being shredded apart from the inside. Sandoval says, Katie never takes accountability for doing anything wrong, and Kristina suggests, instead of focusing on Katie that he focus on his girlfriend, who is clearly upset.🚩That’s his relationship. Katie says, unless Sandoval can start treating her like a human, she’s done. She walks out with Lala, and as she passes Schwartz says she’s done with him too. No surprise, he wonders what he’s done. On the way out, Lala says, Raquel is snickering with Schwartz because she’s a stupid bitch, and Katie does an about-face and goes back in. She asks if Schwartz is laughing with Raquel, but Schwartz says he’s just trying to figure out what happened, which is probably true. Lala tells Katie, Schwartz wasn’t laughing; it was Raquel.🚩In Lala’s interview, she says, Katie is seeing red, and all the emotions she’s been feeling are coming out in this very moment. Schwartz follows Katie outside, and asks, what’s going on? Ariana tells Lisa that she’s not processing things, and Lisa says she’s been through the same thing herself. Outside, Katie tells Schwartz that her self-worth and confidence have been torn down, and Schwartz did that. Clearly too self-centered and stupid to know when to quit, Raquel comes out, and says, sorry to interrupt. Katie says, they’re in the middle of a conversation. Go away.

The text says, in September of 2022, filming wrapped, but then the unimaginable happened, and they turned the cameras back on.

Raquel tries to talk, and Katie tells her again to go away. Raquel says she’s empathetic… but Katie says, she has zero empathy. Raquel says, Katie was hurt by Schwartz making out with someone, and the fact it was her hurt Katie more. She’s sorry for hurting Katie. Katie says, okay, and Raquel says, it wasn’t her intention. Schwartz says, it wasn’t malicious, and we flash back to him telling Raquel it’s forbidden fruit, and Raquel saying, since she’s being accused of it, she might as well do it. Katie says, it was malicious, and Schwartz says, he and Raquel are buddies. Clueless idiot Raquel says, they were just experimenting with a flirty thing; she sees it was nothing now.🚩In Katie’s interview, she says, she gave them a shot and they blew it. Take you and your sick personalities and get the f*** out. Raquel says she’s sorry, and Schwartz feels the need to point out she’s apologizing. Katie says, fine, she’ll go away, and Schwartz is like, no, don’t leave. Raquel finally gets the hint and makes herself scarce. Schwartz says, it was a sincere apology, and Katie asks what he’s talking about; this is done. Schwartz says, it’s not, and Katie says she doesn’t need an apology from Raquel. Schwartz tells her, come sit, since he’s just as clueless as Raquel, but Katie says she doesn’t want to talk to him, and goes inside. The cheese Schwartz sits alone. 

Guillermo brings out a cake, and everyone sings Happy Birthday, very badly for people who are in borderline entertainment jobs. There are five candles on the cake, so Lisa is a lot younger than we thought. Lisa blows out the candles, and says she’s still great at a BJ. She tells everyone that she’d say life has been very challenging, then wonders, where Schwartz is when she needs him? Katie says, no one needs him, but Lisa says, because he’s part of this equation. She’s seen them go through so much this last year. Life throws sh*t at you, but it’s not what’s thrown at you; it’s how you deal with it. Schwartz comes in, and she asks where he’s been. He should have been fighting the fight. She’s seen what Lala had been through, and the way the boys have struggled. She loves all of them… Her voice breaks, and she says, they’ll learn how to deal with their problems as they get older. They have the tools and talents and personality now to go forward and solve their problems. She’ll always be there for them. Not just because they work for her, but because of the journey they’re on and they’ve done together, is why she feels so deeply for them. They all love each other; that’s why it gets so intense. Don’t let life get the better of them. She loves each and every f***ing one of them. She Guillermo that no one here eats cake, and to give it to the customers. Everyone laughs, and Lisa tells Ariana, see? They’re laughing again.

Next time – the finale – Sandoval says he was going to break up with Ariana regardless; Scheana says, instead of breaking up, Sandoval f***ed Ariana’s best friend; Sandoval says he felt things he hasn’t felt in a long time (ugh – he’s so basic); Raquel says, it turned out so horribly wrong; and Ariana doesn’t give a f*** about Raquel, and regrets ever loving Sandoval.

🍸Note: There were a lot more exchanges during that melee at SUR. I could barely keep up, but tried to get the highlights. It was ruthless. Congratulations, Tom and Raquel, for wresting the Most Awful Human Being in the World crown from Jax. The other Tom gets a Most Clueless sash. I honestly do think he’s that stupid.

🎂 Let Them Not Eat Cake…

Get some relief from the awful tomorrow, and come by for soap, tea, quotes and a bit of music. Until then, stay safe, stay focused on long term goals rather than short term satisfaction, and stay not being Mr. Eventually.