What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Spinelli yells, stop, please don’t, and we see he’s at the nail salon having a pedicure. He says, that tickles, and Maxie tells him, stop. He’s making a scene. She tells the technician, sorry about her friend; it’s his first time. He says, nothing like the first time.

Britt asks if Cody is crazy, and Obrecht asks if Scotty is okay. Scotty says he thinks Cody broke his nose, and Cody says he’ll break a lot more than that. This has been a long time coming.

Nikolas says, he and Ava may as well be divorced if she insists on living apart, and she says, fine by her. She already signed the papers. He asks if she wants to pay with her freedom, and she says, if her choice is keeping company with a Cassadine or convicts, she’ll choose convicts. Alexis joins them, and says, we’re not all bad, and Ava says, exception meet rule. The papers are waiting for Nikolas. Just say the word. Ava leaves, and Alexis asks what Nikolas has done this time.

Spencer sits in the interrogation room, when Dante comes in. Spencer holds up his cuffed wrists, and says, this isn’t necessary, but Dante says, ADA Arden begs to differ, given Spencer’s history of busting out of prison bars. Spencer says, he was gone all of two hours to pay respects to his mother. He returned to Spring Ridge that afternoon. Dante says, it won’t be a consideration where Spencer is headed. Slipping out of a prison spa, that’s one thing. Pentenville is quite another.

Sonny asks if the kiss was worth the wait, and Nina says she almost forgot what that felt like. He says, can’t have that, and she says, actually, she has a really short memory. He says, allow him to remind her, and kisses her again.

Valentin tells Drew, their chat will have to wait; he has a commitment elsewhere. Drew puts his hand on Valentin’s shoulder and says, he’s not asking.

Nina says, wow. That’s something Sonny can put on his résumé. He says he never needed a résumé, and she says, that makes sense. She’s looking forward to finding out about his other marketable skills, and he says, fashion sense… marinara sauce… dancing… the two-step, do the Hustle… She says, he just described a perfect date, and he asks if she’s free tomorrow. She says she is, and she’s free tonight… but he’s not. That’s okay. No explanation needed. Of course (🍷) he has plans tonight. He says, one or two. How about if he walks her out? She says, of course (🍷), and he takes her hand, leading her to the door.

Drew asks Valentin if he’s overstepping. Is this too familiar? Valentin asks if this is what Drew’s executive coach suggested; that they become besties, and when he’s sufficiently seduced, Drew will snatch ELQ out from under him? Drew says, that would be so foolish. Doesn’t Valentin think he would see that coming, the way he saw the merger between Aurora and ELQ coming, and seduced Ned into voting his way? Valentin asks what Drew is hoping to get straight, and Drew says, things are bad between them at the moment… Valentin says, why does he get the feeling they’re going to get worse? and Drew says, no; they’re about to get much better – to his benefit and Valentin’s.

Ava tells the MetroCourt bartender, martini please. He knows the way she likes it. He asks if she wants a tab, and she says, charge it to her room, 827. She’s not going home tonight… or any night.

Alexis asks, what’s up with Nikolas and Ava? and he says, typical marital strife. She says, talk of imprisonment is typical between them? and he says, it never arose between her and Julian? She says, Nikolas doesn’t have to talk to her if he doesn’t want to. Just tell her it’s of her business. He says, it’s none of her business, but she says, too bad; she outranks him. He says, he and Ava will sort it out, and she says, with adequate legal counsel? He says, it won’t come to that. Ava is too smart, too pragmatic, and too in love with him to let their marriage die over a stupid mistake. Alexis says, she’s also too vain and too scornful to let a stupid mistake pass. She doesn’t mean to be cynical, but he should watch his back. He says, duly noted, and asks what she’s doing here. She says, his assistant called her office and said he wanted to meet her here, but he says, he never called her office and said he wanted to meet her here. Victor appears, and says, no, but he did.

Dante puts a bag from Kelly’s on the table, and says, no comment? Spencer says he can’t talk to Dante without his lawyer present, and Dante tells him, relax. He’s here to feed Spencer, not harass him. He takes Spencer’s cuffs off, and says, it’s courtesy of Spencer’s buddy Cameron, over at Kelly’s. Spencer says, tell him thanks, but he’s not hungry, and Dante says, he’d eat it if he were Spencer. He heard the kitchen at Pentenville lost one of its fine dining stars. Come on. He has to give Laura a good report, or she’s liable to get on the next plane out of Italy and leave Spencer’s great-grandmother in the lurch. Spencer opens the bag, and Dante says, not to get his hopes up, but apparently his great Uncle Martin has been in touch with DA Scorpio, and Spencer’s situation might be improving.

On the phone with Lucy at Charlie’s, Martin says he’s procured them a table, but do him a favor and hurry. It’s been a trying day, and he’s desperate for the kind of comfort only she can provide… Come to think of it, why don’t they forget about this little tete-a-tete at the pub? He’s on his way over to hers for a little extra privacy. He’ll see her soon. He gets up and starts to leave, but Anna blocks him, and asks if he’s leaving. He says he’s got a hot date, and she says she doesn’t want to keep him from Lucy, but blocks him again as he steps around her. She says, unless she can do him one better.

Obrecht tells Scotty not to be such a baby, calling him her sweet little schnitzel. His nose is bruised, but probably not broken. Cody says he can remedy that, and Britt says, time to go. Cody says, let’s go finish this in private, and moves toward Scotty, but Obrecht knees him, then twists his arm behind his back. She says, he’ll learn. You mess with my bull, you get my horns. She lets Cody go, and he says, this is between him and Scotty, but Scotty says he doesn’t even know Cody. Cody says, well, he knows Scotty. In another life, he might have called Scotty dad. Britt says, whoa. Is Cody saying he’s Scotty’s son?

Maxie thanks the technician, giving her a huge tip. The technician thanks Maxie, and says she loves Deception, and Maxie says she’ll send some products over for her. The technician says she appreciates that, as Spinelli admires his feet. Maxie says, So. Review? and he says, life affirming. His cuticles are so finely arched; his calluses no more. He thanks her for this treat, and wonders why he’s never pampered himself like this before. She says, he’s been busy. Co-parenting Georgie, creating that matchmaking algorithm for Society Set-Ups – he gestures for her to keep her voice down – and harboring a super-secret crush that’s not so super-secret anymore. When was he going to tell her that he had feelings for Britt?

Nina meets Ava, and asks if she’s seen how blue the sky is today, and the fluffy white clouds. And the air. It was warm, but not humid. It was almost like a storybook. Ava asks if she’s on something, and Nina says, it’s called life. Can’t she just be happy? Ava asks if Nina does happy, and Nina says she does now. She tells the bartender that she’ll have the opposite of what Ava is having, and Ava says, she’ll have a Shirley Temple then, but Nina says, make it a Cosmo. She asks Ava, bad day? and Ava says, yeah. Sometimes it feels like she knows no other. But Nina is smiling. What’s got her all sunshiny today? Nina tells her, it almost feels indecent of her to say, and Ava asks if Nina and Sonny are over the hump. There are many jokes to be made here, but it’s too easy.

Valentin asks how Drew plans on improving his life, and Drew says, by simplifying it. He’ll take ELQ off Valentin’s hands. Valentin says he was hoping for something original, and Drew says, this is about as original as he gets. Valentin says, Drew is going to be waiting a while. He’s not getting ELQ. Drew says, at least not until Danny is of age and reclaims his shares from Valentin, and Valentin says, perhaps by then, Drew will see things Ned’s way, and not mess with success. Drew says, anything is possible. However, Drew’s family, reliably chaotic; Valentin’s family famously predictable. Valentin says he’s never heard the Cassadines described as predictable, and Drew says, really? One or more of them is always in trouble, or causing it, often to each other. What’s it worth to Valentin if there was one less Cassadine around stirring things up?

Martin asks why he has the feeling Anna was looking for him, and she says, good instincts. He asks how she knew he was here, and she says didn’t; she trailed him from the courthouse. He says he didn’t see her at the courthouse, and she says, he would have if she’d wanted him to. He says, one day, she must teach him the tricks of her trade, but right now, he really must leave; he has a rendezvous with Lucy. Anna says, he’ll get more out of her company, and he says he has no doubt she’s good, but that good? That’s definitely a question that shall remain unanswered. She asks why he doesn’t sit down and find out. He won’t be sorry. He says he needs a judge’s ruling on this one. Is she flirting with him? She says, it’s not flirting; it’s foreplay. So sit down, and let’s get to the main event.

Spencer says he doesn’t care what happens to him, and Dante says, that’s a shame, because Spencer has a lot of friends and family who feel otherwise. Spencer says, they don’t have to worry. He got himself into this; he can live with the consequences. Dante says, how noble, and Spencer says, the only people he cares about are the ones suffering because of him. Dante says, like Trina? and sits down. He says, it took Spencer took long enough to come forward as her alibi, and Spencer asks if it would have mattered if he spoke up earlier, but Dante says he doubts it. The prosecutor probably would have used the same arguments regardless. Him being with Trina when the video was posted wouldn’t have exonerated her; it could be timed in advance. Spencer says, at least he tried to step. He hopes that means something to Trina. There’s a knock at the door, and an officer says, someone is here to see Mr. Cassadine. Dante says, he’ll be right there, and tells Spencer, sit tight. He comes out, and sees Sonny. Dante asks if everything is okay, and Sonny says he heard Spencer got arrested. Dante says, yeah. He’s got a real go-it-alone attitude, and Sonny asks if Dante is telling him that Spencer is going to need more help. Dante says, yeah. Is he going to get it from Sonny?

Britt asks if this is a joke, and Obrecht asks if Scotty shares DNA with Britt’s boyfriend. Britt says, he’s not her boyfriend, and Scotty says he’s never seen Cody before in his life. Britt says, that’s not exactly a no, he’s not my son denial, and Scotty says, hang on a second. He’s not the criminal. Cody is the one who sucker punched him. All right. In his youth, his shenanigans caused him to change his will a few times. That doesn’t mean every Joe Blow with dollar signs in his eyes is his son. Britt asks if he knows that for sure, and Scotty says he’ll take a DNA test. Cody asks if he can get a word in edgewise. He said he could  be Scotty’s son in another life. To the best of his knowledge, Scotty’s not his father in this one. Obrecht says, so he’s not claiming some family resemblance? and Cody says he’s been told he takes after his mother. Scotty asks, who is she? and Cody says, not is; was. She’s dead, and gave Scotty a daughter. His mother was Dominique Stanton.

Spinelli asks if the afternoon of self-care was just an excuse for Maxie to discuss his so-called feelings for Dr. Westbourne, and she says, hmm… He says, she played him, and she says she wouldn’t have had to resort to an afternoon of pampering if he’d just answered her question in the first place. When did he realize he had feelings for Britt? He flashes back to Cody telling him that he’s got two options. Come clean, and watch Society Set-Ups go belly up while the Feds investigate violations of privacy and security breaches; or make everyone believe Cody’s cover story that Spinelli is crushing on Britt. Maxie says, when? and he says, it’s a recent development. She says, in retrospect, she remembers him being interested in Britt’s first match with Society Set-Ups. He insisted on going to the PC Grill so they could check on Britt’s date. She didn’t realize his interest was romantic. He hid those feelings pretty well. He says he hardly knew himself, and she says, the thing is, him and Britt… He says, it’s not a match made in heaven? and she says she loves Britt, but she’s just so… He says, cold? Bitter? She says, and he’s so not. How in the world did his algorithm pair them up?  

Scotty says, this is all horse hockey. Cody’s not Dominique’s son. Cody says, like Scotty didn’t know, and Scotty says, he does, because Dominique had one kid, their daughter Serena. Britt asks if Obrecht knew about this Dominique woman, but Scotty says, she didn’t, because they decided to leave the past where it belongs – in the past. Obrecht says, Dominique Stanton, the first Face of Deception. She had her fingers crossed behind her back when she agreed they shouldn’t discuss their past. Scotty says, for good reason. It was a long time ago when Dominique died, and it was horrible. Her death was slow, hard, and painful. Obrecht says she’s sorry, and Scotty says, Cody has a lot of nerve, dredging up her name like it’s his. Cody tells him, he never said it was. His name is Bell. He got it from the family who raised him when Dominique couldn’t, or wouldn’t.

Dante brings Sonny into the interrogation room, and says, don’t take too long. The bus for Pentenville leaves in an hour. He leaves, and Sonny asks, what’s in the bag? Spencer says, cheese fries; help himself. Sonny says he doesn’t take food from a condemned man, and Spencer says, Sonny has been to Pentenville, hasn’t he. It’s bad, right? Sonny says, it’s not what Spencer is imagining, but it’s not Spring Ridge. Spencer says, his lawyer is trying to get his sentence reduced, and Sonny says, because he confessed? Spencer says, and because the only reason he left was to visit his mother’s gravesite. But chances are he’s going to have to serve his original one month sentence. Sonny says, not by chance; this is a dead certainty. He sits down and says, all right. Let’s get you ready.

Victor apologizes for the subterfuge, but he suspected Alexis wouldn’t be all that eager to meet with him, despite the desperately urgent family need. She says she’s assuming the urgent family need is to discuss Nikolas’s marital woes, and Victor says, indirectly. Nikolas says, this is about Spencer, isn’t it? and Alexis says, she heard that at Trina’s trial, Spencer gave her an alibi. Nikolas says, causing him to be arrested for his brief absence from Spring Ridge, and the ADA wants him to serve his original one month sentence in Pentenville. Alexis says she’s not sure what she can do about that. She’ll be happy to visit him in Pentenville, even though the words happy and Pentenville don’t go together. Victor says, it wouldn’t even have to come to that if they can keep Spencer out of Pentenville altogether, and Alexis asks how he figures that. Victor says, by using the mighty power of the press.

Martin says, he hopes he’s mistaken, but he’s sensing a – shall we say – definite truculence coming from Anna. Anna says, no. She gets that way, particularly when she’s been lied to, or played for a fool. He says, the fool would be whoever was stupid enough to underestimate her. At any other time and on any other day, he’d be happy to offer her the legal services of Martin Grey, Esquire to put the villain down… She thanks him, and says she really needs his services. He says, at least give him an idea of the nature of her trouble, and she suggests they start with a name – Valentin Cassadine.  

Valentin asks if a certain former Navy SEAL is offering to eliminate a member of his family? but Drew says, nothing so permanent, and no random Cassadine. Valentin says, Drew has piqued his curiosity, and Drew says, Spencer is a kid. He’s frustrating and annoying, but he’s no real threat to Valentin. Nikolas wrangled the Cassadine estate from Valentin, and it probably stung a little bit, but it didn’t really slow Valentin down. There’s just one Cassadine who’s of real concern; one Valentin could do without. Drew can get him Victor.

Ava says she’s happy for Nina. She’d  thought maybe the Nina and Sonny flame had flickered and died. Nina says, it might have, and Ava says, if Nina had drawn that line in the sand, and refused to tolerate Carly in his life. Nina says, Carly is always going to be a gnat in their relationship, but Ava knows how to handle gnats. Ava says, you squish them, and tells the bartender, another round. And Nina is co-owner of the joint, so she’s definitely buying. She tells Nina, just be careful. Don’t congratulate herself too soon. Certain gnats can be very sneaky pests. They can bother the hell out of you. So much so, Nina might start reevaluating how much Sonny’s love means to her. Nina asks, how are Ava and Nikolas? Is Nikolas pestering her to move back to Windymere? Ava says, he won’t if he knows what’s good for him, and Nina asks, what happened since the last time they talked? Ava says, the question is, what hasn’t happened?

Sonny says, he has guys on the inside, and put the word out that Spencer is untouchable. They’ll be looking out for him. Spencer thanks him, but Sonny says, Spencer can thank him in 30 days. These guys aren’t bodyguards, and won’t be on him every minute. Spencer has to do what Sonny told him to do. Keep his head down and his mouth shut. Don’t make any trouble for anybody, and they won’t make any trouble for him. Spencer says he’s got it, and Sonny says he didn’t come here to scare Spencer. Spencer says, that’s okay. Sonny didn’t scare him; he was already scared. Sonny says, Spencer put his freedom on the line for Trina, and that took a lot of guts. Sonny is proud of him.

An officer tells Dante, dispatch just got a report of a fight at the MetroCourt. Dante says he was just there, and the officer asks if Dante wants him to head over, but Dante says he’s got it.

Scotty asks if Cody just said his name was Bell, and Britt says, obviously, that means something to Scotty. Scotty says, Dominique’s family, the Stantons, had an estate called Serenity. The Bells were the cooks, the groundskeepers… Cody says the stable hands. When Dominique gave him up, the Bells raised him as their own. Scotty says, that’s impossible. He wasn’t with Dominique long enough to have a kid before Serena. Cody says, he arrived long before Scotty hooked up with his mom. By the time he was old enough to find out the truth about his biological mother, she was dead; his inheritance was gone. Scotty says, that’s what this is about. Cody is here grubbin’ for Dominique’s money.  

Maxie asks how this amazing algorithm knew Spinelli and Britt were a match. Did the code get a kink or something? He says, his code isn’t kink…y, and she says, yet oddly, it paired them up. He says, it’s not the code. Don’t blame his code. One day… She says, go on, and he says, like a bolt from the blue, he saw Dr. Westbourne, and knew she was the one. Maxie asks, when exactly was this moment? When Britt was stabbing someone in the back with her scalpel because they stole her parking space? He says, opposites attract. Britt stands up for what she believes. Her sharp edges cleave straight to his heart. She asks when he was going to tell Britt how he felt, and he says, if not for Cody Bell, he would have never. She says, never? What if Britt reciprocated his feelings? He says, some words are never meant to be spoken.

Martin tells Anna, come on. She knows he can’t do that. He’s Valentin’s attorney, and there’s such a thing as attorney/client privilege. She says, it’s precisely because of his relationship with Valentin that she chose him to help her, and he says, help her how? She says, he’s hiding something, and Martin says, he’s sorry. She’s just going to have to seek assistance elsewhere. He’s a little disappointed in her, being willing to exploit his relationship with Valentin for her own ends. She does realize she’s trying to solicit him to commit malpractice. And another thing. Valentin’s not just his client, he’s Martin’s friend. And as Valentin’s friend, it’s his duty to tell Valentin that she’s trying to betray him. She says, kind of like Martin is trying to betray his three ex-wives.

Drew says, so, is Valentin interested? and Valentin says, in tearing down his own father? Drew says, father? Is that how he’s referring to Victor these days? Valentin says, if the DNA fits, and Drew says, he takes responsibility for his child. He looks out for Scout. He tries to teach her right from wrong. He learns from her. He wipes away a tear when she scrapes her elbow, and will even go to Disney on Ice, and enjoy it as much as she does. Does Valentin know why? Valentin says, because he loves her? and Drew says, exactly. And the years he spent away from he, partly due to Valentin’s father, nearly killed him. Does that describe Victor’s relationship with him? Valentin says, not really, and Drew says, he’s a father, Valentin’s a father. Victor is not a father. He’s biology. Name one good or loving thing he’s done for Valentin or Charlotte since he’s come into their lives. Valentin says, Drew’s concept of family is rather narrow and hopelessly American, and Drew says, they can take Victor down together. Valentin says, this help, what it will cost him? and Drew says, ELQ. Valentin asks, how?

Scotty says, Dominique inspired a long list of fortune hunters, but he doesn’t have one red cent for Cody. Cody says, that’s because all the money went to Serena, and Scotty says, don’t think of going near her. It will be the last thing Cody does. Cody says, and she spent it all trying to save the whales, and Scotty says, what the hell. Is there nothing in this world that nobody knows? Does everybody know everything now? Obrecht says, it’s the internet, and Cody says he actually respects his half-sister’s commitment to the environment. He believes in preserving wild places, and respecting wildlife as well, but she didn’t have to spend her whole fortune. She could have held back a couple million. Scotty says, she didn’t, and Cody says he only wants his fair share. Scotty tells him, well, good luck with that. He’s got nothing to give Cody. Cody says he’s fine with that. He’ll make it on his own. Scotty says, good. Do that. Leave Britt out of it. Britt asks what she has to do with it, and Obrecht says, she’ll never see this pauper again. He sucker punched her dear Scotty. Dante walks in, and says, what’s this now? 

Valentin doesn’t doubt Drew has the means to neutralize his father. He just wants to hear him say it. Drew says, Valentin will have to buy him dinner first. He’s not giving it up all at once, especially knowing the Cassadine reputation for treachery. Valentin asks if Drew thinks he’s going to run to Victor with his little plot, and Drew says he thinks Valentin would be tempted if it works to his advantage for Victor to think he’s loyal. Valentin says, perhaps he is loyal, and Drew says he’s sure Valentin is; to his daughter, to Anna. But there’s no way Victor is on that list. He remembers the conversation they had in the cell on Cassadine Island. Valentin knows he’s dangerous. Valentin is way too smart to want a volatile megalomaniac like him running around. Think about it. Decide what it’s worth knowing that one day his father will no longer be a threat to those close to him.

Martin says, his ex-wives adore him, and Anna suggests they might adore him less if they found out about the assets he’s  concealed from them. Sit. He sits back down, and she tells him, she has to say though, the creativity in the accounting is almost a masterpiece. Almost. It’s good enough to get past the average accountant, but it couldn’t get past the scrutiny of the WSB. He says he’s sure she has him confused with someone else, and she says, sorry, her bad. She takes out her phone, and says, so he wouldn’t mind if she shows his exes’ attorneys this spreadsheet she’s compiled. He says, as if it’s any of her business. He’s already been more than generous. His mother is an invalid, a woman who requires round the clock nursing care, and has for years. That doesn’t come cheap. So maybe he didn’t want to let a kettle of vultures help themselves to money that should be caring for his momma. She says, perhaps if he were to explain the situation to his ex-wives. She’s sure they’re well-aware of his deep commitment to his mother… He says, she has no idea what his ex-wives are like, and she says, well, tell her. He says, for one thing, number one is a greedy, vindictive, rapacious, mendacious predator. If it was up to her, there would be nothing left standing but his beard. And number two, God love her, isn’t exactly a brain trust. The woman actually thought the Vatican was a hotel. The only intelligent thing she ever did was line up behind number one, and number three – God help us all – the less said about her, the better. She says, so they agree then, and he says, what? She says, that he’s at greater risk if he crosses his exes than if he crosses Valentin. Here’s the thing; make no mistake. He’s at the greatest risk if he crosses her.

Spencer tells Sonny, trying to save Trina might not work. If the jury finds her guilty, he’ll have confessed for nothing. Sonny says, it had to be done. If Spencer had kept quiet, he wouldn’t be who he is; the man Sonny knew he could be. Spencer tells him, Jordan said he could help himself, maybe cut down on his prison time, if he named the people who helped him slip out of Spring Ridge. Would Sonny still think he was that man if he told Sonny that he was considering turning rat?

Alexis tells Victor, she’s not going to deploy The Invader to help Spencer because it would destroy their credibility. It would also backfire on Spencer. Nikolas asks, how? and Alexis says, Trina is on trial for a crime neither Spencer or her victims believe she committed. Can they imagine the uproar if a young white man is set free for a crime he did do, while a young black woman is sent to prison for a crime she didn’t do? That’s a Category Five blowback, and it will land directly on them – and rightly so – for orchestrating it. It will also alienate Spencer against them both. Nikolas asks if there isn’t something she can do. Spencer cares deeply for Trina. Nikolas just left him at the PCPD, and Spencer is going crazy about what happened to her. Alexis says, she can’t keep Spencer out of Pentenville, although she can help ease his mind by helping Trina. Nikolas says, it’s too late to make Trina’s case; the jury is already deciding. Alexis says, but it’s not too late to build a case against someone else, and Victor says, someone like Esme, for example?

Sonny says, in his line of work, there’s nothing worse than an informant. Then again, Spencer isn’t in his line of work. He needs to use whatever tools he has to help himself. Spencer says, even if he has to live with the knowledge that he sent someone else down for what he did? and Sonny says, what about the people who have to live with his absence? Ask himself, do they stand to gain more if Spencer’s accomplice goes free, or Spencer does?  

Alexis says she has a reporter developing a story on Esme; it’s just not enough to print yet. Nikolas says, what if he told her that Esme left? and she says, the prosecution’s star witness, the one the victims think did it? Where did she go? Nikolas says he doesn’t know. Spencer doesn’t either. He returned home after the trial ended, and she was gone; so were her things. Alexis gets up, and says she may be able to work with that. Victor says, and he’ll continue his efforts to help Spencer locate her. Why don’t they meet later, and go over their plans to track Esme down? Victor leaves, and Alexis asks Nikolas, whose idea was it to pressure The Invader to help Spencer? Was it his, or Victor’s? Nikolas says, does it matter? and she says, yes. It would matter a lot to his mom. He says, his mother isn’t in town, and his son needs him… It was Victor’s idea, but he’s completely on board. He won’t apologize for doing everything in his power to free his son. Wouldn’t she do the same thing if it were one of her daughters?  

Martin says, even if he wanted to help Anna, he can’t. Other than helping him put down that attempted coup at ELQ, he hasn’t even seen Valentin lately. He has no idea what she’s talking about. What lies does she think Valentin told her? She says, Valentin may not have shared his secret with Martin yet, but he’s in the right position to get it. Martin just has to stick close to him, and she’ll coach him on what to uncover. He says, doing so could ruin him, but she says, cheating his ex-wives out of money is going to ruin him. If he comes through for her, she’ll protect him from his ex-wives. At least one and two; greedy and stupid. Number three, she’s no joke. Anna leaves Martin to mull this over. (It wasn’t my intention, but Martin? Mull?)

Maxie says she can’t bear the thought of Spinelli bottling up his feelings, but he says, it’s not a hardship. Now that Britt has been made aware of his… passion, she’s made it very clear that she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings. Maxie says, she could change her mind; stranger things have happened. And he should see if that algorithm matches them up. He says, no. He’d never use his algorithm on his own profile. Never. She says, but if it could zero in on the love of his life… He says he can’t, and she says, doesn’t he want to know who it is? Her phone rings, and he says, what if his algorithm matches him with someone he can never have? Maxie says, it’s Austin, and tells Austin that she’s running late, but she’ll be leaving soon.

Dante says, they got a call at the station about a fight, and Britt says, it wasn’t a fight fight. Cody says, one measly tap on the nose, but Obrecht says, Cody assaulted mein Scott. Dante says, did he? and Cody holds out his wrists. Britt rolls her eyes, and Dante says, Cody is under arrest. Cody says he knows the drill, but Dante says, they’re going by the book just in case, and gives Cody his rights. Cody gives Britt a wry smile, and Dante asks if Cody understood his rights. Cody says, Dante did an amazing job; he could probably recite them in his sleep. He tells Britt, they’re probably going to need a raincheck for date number two, and leaves with Dante.

Nina says she knows Ava has a room here. She thought Ava and Nikolas turned a corner. Ava says, they did, but around that corner was a big brick wall, and she walked right into it. Nina asks if she wants to talk about it, and Ava asks if she wants to be an accessory after the fact. Nina says she doesn’t follow, and Ava says, nor does she want to. Look at her. She’s happy and basking in the warmth and light of new love. Cheers to that.

Drew says he’ll be in touch, but Valentin says, wait. Whatever happened between Drew and his father is in the past. Don’t drift back into his sights. Drew says, or else? but Valentin says he’s not trying to intimidate Drew. That’s obviously not an easy task. His father is ruthless, and if he decides Drew can’t be threatened, he’ll target those closest to Drew. Trust him. He knows.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks if someone is going to be the state’s sacrificial lamb; Maxie asks if Austin is canceling the weekend with her kids; Martin wants Lucy to come with him; and Jordan knows why Curtis and Portia are there, and won’t allow it.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

PK and Dorit go to the dentist together, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, two years ago, PK got his teeth done, and he’s smiling all the time now. So she got her teeth done too. You’re not a real couple unless you do your teeth together. Oh Lord, do you think they brush their together at one of those tandem sinks? Dr. Salah tells PK that his teeth spearheaded the whole looking fantastic, and PK says, since he had them done, they’ve had a home invasion and he got a DUI. He’s not so sure his teeth are bringing him luck. In her interview, Dorit says she’s still pissed at PK for not telling her about the DUI, but she hasn’t lost all trust in him. But if he makes another mistake, she won’t be so easy on him. She’s putting on an event for a charity called Homeless Not Toothless (and no, I’m not making that up). Sharon Stone is on the board. They’d been neighbors, and Sharon asked her to look into it. She found out it was a charity that didn’t get a lot of attention, and she thought she could bring more awareness to it. We see clips of her asking all the women to the event, and she tells Dr. Salah, if he’s in town, maybe he and his wife could attend. He says he’d love to, and they could select a well-deserving person for the gift of a smile. PK asks to look at a picture of his before teeth, and says, imagine what a catch he is, having gotten Dorit with those teeth.

Crystal visits Sutton in her office at the store, and Sutton tells her that Porter couldn’t come into work; she was complaining of a sore throat. In Crystal’s interview, she says, her first job was at Victoria’s Secret, but she was fired her first day because she was too young. She went across the mall to Finish Line, and even though she hates feet, she killed it in sales. She tells Sutton that she saw LisaR, and heard her side. Sutton says, LisaR blew up, and Crystal says, LisaR told her that she was very angry. Sutton says, LisaR didn’t say that at their lunch, but when she has an audience, she explodes and looks like she wants to kill her. Crystal asks if Sutton wants to resolve it, and Sutton says she’s done everything she can; it’s on LisaR, not her. She asks what’s going on with Crystal, and Crystal says, she talked to LisaR about her daughter who has anorexia. LisaR told her that they’d been talking about her eating disorder. She forgets how not normal it is for other people, and for them, its concerning. Sutton says it seemed to her, it wasn’t out of grave concern, but… Crystal asks if they were judging her, and Sutton says, either that, or it was, what is this? Crystal says, it’s a lifelong journey. She’s going to make sure to take a page out of their perfect plan book, and it will be gone in a week. In her interview, Crystal says, she’s seeing a pattern of her vulnerability being met with judgement, and we flash back to them treating Crystal like she’s five. She says, just because she hasn’t done everything, doesn’t mean she hasn’t done anything. She tells Sutton, it’s a struggle. They’re being insensitive, and she wants to resolve it. She shouldn’t have pressure from other people.

Asher plays piano and sings. Wake me when it’s over. In Diana’s interview, she says, it’s her favorite time when he forgets she’s in the house, and he’s on [sic] the piano, singing, and doesn’t know she’s there. She asks if that’s something he’s working on, and he says, it is. He tells her that it’s fun having her be a part of his career; she’s the brain. In her interview, she says, Asher lives a sheltered life. He grew up on Broadway, and he’s sweet. He needs her hardness and strength. He’s not confrontational, and it’s her number one quality. They talk about waiting on getting pregnant again, and Diana says, things are meant to work out the way they do. Asher says he’d like to see Eli be a little older, and Diana says she’ll start the IVF in mid-March. He says he thinks it’s great that they’re going to start again, and in Diana’s interview, she says, when she called to tell Asher about the miscarriage, it shifted the relationship. He grew up, and they grew closer. She really wanted a second baby fast because she had a sibling, and she loves having babies. Asher says, it’s his first learning curve with a baby, and Diana says, it’s a lot of work.

Erika visits Kyle, and they have a session with Dustin, a stretching coach. That must have been what Leva was doing in Southern Charm last week. I’ve never heard of this. He’s brought a gong for a sound bath, and Kyle says, the last time they did that, they were in Del Mar. We flash back to that, and Dustin asks if Erika has done assisted stretching before. She says she has, and in Kyle’s interview, she says she has hypermobility syndrome. We flash back to her doing the splits, and she says, with it come other ailments, among them her arms going numb. She should have gone into the Cirque du Soleil, but she’s wasting her talent. Afterward, she and Erika have tea, and she asks Erika how the dating is going. Erika says, it’s more of a friendship. He’s younger than Tom, but older than her; older is her jam. She asks about the party, and Kyle says, Garcelle was talking about her drinking. We flash back to Garcelle expressing concern, and Kyle saying, talking about somebody’s drinking feels like a label to her. Erika says, she’s over a story being circulated as if she has a problem. You realize who your friends are in those moments. (Yeah, your friends are the ones who will be honest and say they think there’s a problem.) Kyle asks if Erika thinks it’s coming from a bad place, and Erika says, it’s not coming from a good place. In Erika’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to be on medication, she doesn’t want to be in this position, and she doesn’t want to be in this house. But that’s where she’s at, and she’s fighting her way out as best she can. She tells Kyle, the moral is, you can’t have a good time in front of some of these people. Kyle mentions Dorit’s black and gold party for Homeless Not Toothless, and they spend a while making fun of the name. Erika says, the name is wrong, and Kyle says, you won’t forget it, but she might have to just send a check.

Everyone gets ready for Dorit’s party, and Dorita does a walk through with party planner Nick. Dorit says, the table is a work of art, and in her interview, she says she loves a theme, but she doesn’t like a dress code that’s difficult to achieve. She knows everyone will knock this out of the park. PK tells her, their mystery surprise guest is coming at 7, and offers to do the lights. In Dorit’s interview, she says, PK thinks the lights are manual labor, and he’s not good at manual labor. She has no confidence in him. None. He practices, and she says, that’s exactly why she’s worried.

Kathy arrives with friend Dwight, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, they know Dwight through a former friend. We see a clip of him pushing Ken Todd in a pool, and Dorit says, Dwight is no longer friends with their former friend. He’s come back to the PK/Dorit camp. The others trickle in, and I’m not a fan of the outfits that are entirely gold. Charity rep Sydney Grossman walks in, and in her interview, Dorit says, Dr. Jay Grossman has done so much for the charity, and he’s also a real character. We see a clip of telling Dorit that he was a sperm donor. He found out through 23andme that he has six kids, so apparently he donated a lot. Sydney, who’s his not sperm-donated daughter, tells Dorit this means a lot to their family. Pigs in a blanket appetizers are served, and PK presents Mauricio with a Versace belt that has a gold buckle. PK tells Erika about his DUI, and how he was coming from dinner with Lionel Richie and John Legend. He told the police when they pulled him over, and it wasn’t a great start. It went from bad to worse, and the lesson is, even when you think you’re okay, you may not be. In Sutton’s interview, she says, LisaR is still angry at her, and can’t let it go, but what is she going to do? Tell her to get the F out of Dorit’s house? Dorit yaps about the guy she wants Garcelle to meet, and how he wanted to be here. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, Dorit has been mentioning this for a year. Why hasn’t he reached out? In Dorit’s interview, she says she’s a good matchmaker, and in Erika’s interview, she says, Dorit wants to set her up with someone, but she hasn’t come through yet. She does like nerds…

They sit for dinner, and Erika says she can have one cocktail. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, Erika didn’t drink as much at the wine tasting. This is dinner with an open bar. They’ll see what happens. LisaR is being really loud, and PK calls for everyone’s attention. Dorit says she wants to introduce a charity she’s been working with for two years. She wanted to have a gala with an auction, but they had a surge in covid, so she had to scale back. Dr. Salah has offered to donate an entire smile. In Diana’s interview, she says, when she was in her 20s, she depended on a charity to remove her wisdom teeth. It’s come full circle. Although she did grow another set; she got bit by a shark.

For whatever reason, Kyle tells Sutton that she’d heard LisaR told her, get the f*** out of her house, but LisaR claims she didn’t say that. She just said, maybe Sutton should leave. We see a clip of Kyle talking to LisaR on the phone, and LisaR saying, she was obviously not serious, and Sutton didn’t leave. Sutton says she doesn’t want to talk about this at dinner in front of everyone, and blatantly ignoring that, Kyle asks Dorit if LisaR said, get the f*** out. LisaR hears this, and yells, that didn’t happen. Garcelle says, it did, and in her interview, she says, Sutton just told them that she didn’t want to talk about it. Kyle is always ready to throw Sutton under the bus. Kyle shouts over to LisaR, and says, they insist she said f***. Mauricio says, he wasn’t even there, but he knows she said it. LisaR says she must have been frustrated, but she doesn’t remember. Was it brutal? Garcelle says, it was, and LisaR says, she thinks their issue could be put to bed. Mauricio says he doesn’t think it ever will be, and LisaR says, the fact that Sutton didn’t apologize to her husband…  but Sutton says she sent a thoughtful text. In Sutton’s interview, she reads the text, which wishes Harry a happy birthday, and thanks him for including her. To keep the evening about celebrating him, she didn’t get a chance to express her apology, and she’s sorry for any embarrassment she caused him. Kissy kitty face and heart emoji. LisaR says, to make it go away, Sutton has to make a public apology. Sutton pretends to open a rule book, and says, do what LisaR tells her, and it goes away. In Crystal’s interview, she says, they’re not alone. There are other people here, including her friends, who are freaking out and texting her, WTF is going on? LisaR starts ranting and raving, and Sydney looks stunned. LisaR yells that when she understands why Sutton did this, she’ll let it the f*** go.

Dorit tells them to put a pin in it, and asks, who started it? All fingers rightly point to Kyle, and in Kyle’s interview, she says she just wanted to know if LisaR and Sutton still had issues. Are they okay, or are they sweeping it under the rug? It escalated into an uncomfortable situation, but it’s not Amsterdam level. We flash back to LisaR smashing a glass on the table when Kim asked, what about the husband? #WhatDidHarryDo? The lights dim, and they think the party is over, but the mystery surprise guest appears on the stairs. Kathy asks, who the hell is that? and we see it’s Melissa Etherege. Sutton says, Melissa is her girl crush, and Melissa sings Come To My Window. In Garcelle’s interview, she wonders how much of the screaming Melissa heard. It’s not a good look. You can dress them up, but you can’t take them out. PK explains that he works closely with Melissa’s managers, and they kept it a secret that they had a two-time Grammy winner coming. In Crystal’s interview, she says, this is the power of Melissa Etherege. She managed to get LisaR and Sutton to stop fighting. (Um… I think just LisaR is fighting.) How many encores can they get? A group photo is taken, and Melissa escapes. PK tells them that they can continue arguing now.

Sutton asks what LisaR wants from her, and LisaR says she doesn’t want to have this with Sutton. Her mom’s stuff came today. In LisaR’s interview, she says, it was everything from childhood photos to jewelry. It’s really, really heavy. Kathy frets that she can’t hear, and LisaR tells her to join them. Everyone gathers round, and LisaR says she can’t do this anymore. Her mom died two months ago, and her stuff came today. She doesn’t want to fight with Sutton; that’s not what it’s about. Her pain isn’t about Sutton, so she’s going to let it go. She has anger and feelings about a lot of things in her life. She’s in a lot of pain, and doing the best she can. She cries, and says she’s trying to figure out how to live without her mom, and she doesn’t know how. She keeps repeating she’s sorry, while Kyle hovers and dries her tears. In her interview, Garcelle says, LisaR had a breakthrough. Maybe she’s finally let go of the rage she feels about her mom. Sutton says, no one knows how to do it right, and LisaR says, what she did wasn’t right. She shouldn’t have put it on Sutton. She’s sorry she projected. She’s been saying she’s strong when she’s not. Someone yells for lash glue. In her interview, LisaR says, clearly she needed support and needed her friends to stay with her. She was acting out, but she was just in pain. Leave it to Melissa Etherege.

Next time, Sutton says an attorney from one of Erika’s lawsuits called her; Crystal tells her husband that she’s feeling pressure from the group, and doesn’t want to answer to them; Farrah plans her wedding; a disco party happens; and Garcelle says she doesn’t have to make Erika look bad, because she’s doing it on her own.

🗯 Sigh. I get that LisaR is in pain, and I’m sure she’s sorry in the moment, but I question her picking that lane for good. I really want to feel badly for her, and I do, but her behavior is just unacceptable. If you must use someone as a punching bag, use someone in your own household who’s forced to tolerate you, and will possibly tell you to get a grip before you do something really stupid. Like have a screaming match by yourself at a charity event.

🌄 New Every Morning…

Well, the problem turned out to be the AC unit itself. Long story short, yesterday’s nightmare could have been worse, but things are back to normal, for the most part. So stop in tomorrow for some soap and Charm. Until then, stay safe, stay conversant, and stay never thinking because someone hasn’t done everything, it means they haven’t done anything.