What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

In a dressing room, someone puts makeup on Chase. Brook says, enough. He’s perfect as he is. Curtis’s voice says, ladies and gentlemen, and others… Coming to the Savoy stage is a hot new star who’s on the rise, so kick back and enjoy what you see with your eyes, and what you hear from his captivating production. Without further ado, or more introduction, put your hands together, and let the music do the talking. The audience applauds, and Brook says, they’re ready for him. Chase gets up, wearing a David Bowie type suit and sunglasses. He takes the sunglasses off, and he has makeup to match. He tells Brook, they can wait. Whereas he can’t wait another minute to be with her. He kisses her, and Lucy says, earth to Brook Lynn. Brook says, she’s sorry. Can Lucy repeat that? Maxie asks, where were you just now? and Lucy says, right. Because she certainly wasn’t here.

Finn is walking while looking at a tablet, when Chase reaches out and pulls him around the corner. Finn asks, what’s wrong with him? and Chase says, you tell me. What happened to Brando?

Curtis calls Portia from the closed club, and says, any word on Brando’s cause of death? She looks at the hospital computer, but cause of death is blank. She says, nothing yet.

Alexis meets Sonny outside Charlie’s, and says, sorry she’s late; work. He says he assumes she was up all night. Hard to stop the press when you have late-breaking news. He holds up The Invader, and the headline says: 2 VICTIMS, 1 HOOK, with a picture of the same type of spear-hook the attacker used.

On the phone at Pier 54, Anna says she has feelers out. They knew this wasn’t going to be easy. It appears to be more dangerous than she anticipated. We see someone in dark clothing, with a hook, not far behind her. She says, of course (🍷) she’s being careful. A black-gloved hand holds out the hook. Anna says, Robert, stop worrying. Take that energy and channel it into finding the person who attacked Ava and killed Brando. The gloved hand turns the hook back and forth, and Anna says she’ll be in touch. She turns, and sees the hook, then realizes it’s Jordan. Jordan says, sorry for startling her. She didn’t want to interrupt Anna’s phone call. Anna says, maybe in order to avoid any future misunderstandings, she might want to leave the sharp objects at home. Jordan says she just picked this up from the marina shop. It’s the same brand and type that was missing from the Quartermaine property. Anna takes it from her, and says, the same type used on Ava and Brando? Jordan says, that’s the theory. She’s on her way to GH to speak to the medical examiner. Anna says, if she needs any assistance, Jordan knows how to reach her. Jordan says, thanks, but the matter she needs off her plate is something she needs to handle herself.

Curtis tells Portia, as soon as he gets this mess sorted out with Jordan and the divorce papers, they will get married. She asks if there’s anything she can do to help, and he says he spoke with Jordan last night. She asks how it went, and he tells her, let’s just say, the divorce papers won’t be an issue. She says, he still didn’t answer her question. Does Jordan feel as he does? She doesn’t mean to be intrusive. He says, she isn’t. His relationship with Jordan isn’t just theirs; she’s a part of it too. He’ll tell her all about it when he sees her. She tells him, just be careful out there, and he says, always. He turns around, and Selina is there with her bodyguard. She says, it seems that things are getting dangerous in Port Charles.

Chase says, Michael called him last night and said Brando was attacked, but they thought he was going to be fine. By the time he got through to Sasha, Brando was dead, and she was in pieces. Finn says, everyone here is in shock as well. One minute, Brando was conscious and in good spirits, and the next thing you know, he was coding. Chase asks how it happened, and Finn says, they’re trying to find out. Portia sent his bloodwork to the lab to try to find the cause. Chase says, and until Finn does, if he does, Brando’s family is suffering, and that mystery is only going to add to their grief. The Invader quoted an anonymous General Hospital source, which means somebody here knows enough to talk to the press about the fact that Ava and Brando were attacked with a hook. He wants to find that person and talk to them himself, so he can find out who killed Sasha’s husband. Finn says, that’s a job for the cops, and Chase is no longer a cop.

Brook says she got the last sparkling water. They’ll have to tell the runner to get another case. She takes a sip, and wonders why the fridge in the breakroom can’t adequately chill a simple sparkling water. How can they be their best and most creative when they’re not sufficiently hydrated? Lucy says, speaking of their best… and Maxie says, they were just discussing Brando. Brook says, poor Sasha… Poor Gladys. Lucy says, it’s horrible, and poor social media response from Deception, or lack thereof, and Brook says she did draw up something. She can send it right over before they publish it. Maxie says, Brook doesn’t have to send it to her or Lucy; just send it out now. Brook asks if they don’t want to weigh in on something this sensitive regarding a partner, and Lucy says, no, that’s the point. With something this sensitive, timeliness is crucial. Brook says she just found out about Brando this morning, and Lucy says, and why is that? They called her last night. They texted her, emailed her, then called her again. Brook says she turns her phone off at night; work/life balance, right? Maxie says, that’s true, but isn’t it possible Brook is focusing more on her life, and not work? and Lucy says, like maybe 101% for life and minus 1% for work? Maxie says, they feel like maybe Brook’s heart isn’t totally with Deception, and Lucy says, like maybe it’s totally with Chase.

Alexis says she’s sorry about Brando, and Sonny says, him too. She asks, how’s Sasha? and he asks if this is on the record. He just doesn’t want to be blindsided. She says she meant to give him a heads up, but time got away from her. What can she do to make amends? He says, Sasha’s having a hard time, so maybe she can keep that in mind, and she says she’ll do her best. He says, they always agree on what’s best for their daughter, and she says, absolutely. Speaking of which, let’s go. They go into Charlie’s, where Victor is telling Kristina, in England if you mispronounce that word, you’re sent to the Tower of London, and your head’s cut off. Kristina laughs, and Victor says, it’s true. Alexis tells Sonny that she thinks they should agree on a plan of action first, and Sonny walks over to Victor and Kristina. Alexis is about to follow, when Valentin grabs her arm, and says, the two of them are going to stay out of this. She says, that’s her daughter, and he says, and Victor is her uncle; that makes him Kristina’s great uncle. He spends more time than he wants to as his father’s lieutenant. It’s better to stay on Victor’s good side, trust him. Let Sonny take care of the bad. Kristina says, Victor is so totally wrong, and Sonny asks what Victor is wrong about. Sonny and Kristina hug, and she says she was just teaching Uncle Victor the correct pronunciation of the word scone. Victor says, and he was just telling Kristina, in Europe, they call it sconn, and Sonny says, in America, his daughter’s correct. Kristina says, back work for her. She’s glad Victor enjoyed his scone. Kristina leaves, and Victor says, always a pleasure, but he must be off. Sonny says, Victor, Victor, Victor. How many times does he have to tell Victor to stay away from his family? Victor says, like it or not, Kristina is his family as well. He greets Alexis, says, ready? to Valentin, and leaves. Outside, he looks at his phone and frowns.  

Chase says, way to kick a guy when he’s down, and Finn says, sorry. He didn’t like saying it any more than Chase liked hearing it, but Chase isn’t part of this investigation. Chase says, he and Sasha bonded when they were trying to help Michael and Willow, and now she’s going through hell. There’s got to be some way he can help her. Finn says, in a way the police can’t. Does he have a lead? Is there somewhere he can go that they can’t? Chase knows the drill. Say he does some digging around and finds something. Without a badge, without a warrant, without jurisdiction, that piece of evidence gets invalidated, and it can throw the whole case out. Then Chase can really kiss his law enforcement career goodbye. Chase says, if Finn thinks he wants to solve this to make himself look good to the higher ups, he couldn’t be more wrong. He’s not angling to use Brando’s death to get his job back. Finn says he knows that. All he’s trying to say is, the PCPD needs a good cop like Chase back on the force, not out in the cold for good. Chase says, who knows when or if he’ll be reinstated. What is he supposed to do in the meantime? Finn says, be there for Sasha, but Chase says, she has plenty of people to be there and comfort her; all he has is time, and frustration. Finn says, if he was Chase, he would spend time with someone he cares about, and channel that energy into a cause that makes a difference. He knows Chase has both.

Brook says, they’re accusing her of shirking her work duties for a guy? and Lucy says, yesterday, Brook spent all morning looking at Chase wallpaper to select it for her computer screen, and somehow their call waiting music is Chase’s demo. Brook says, everyone who’s had to wait on hold has thanked her for it. Since when is it a crime to enjoy a relationship? Maxie says, she and Lucy are happy for her and Chase, and Lucy says, so, so, so happy. It’s okay to focus on her boyfriend sometimes, but Brook is spending more work time promoting Chase’s career and music. So if she doesn’t start promoting and taking care of Deception, and stop mooning over Chase and doing everything for his work and his career, then they’re going to just part ways and fire her. Maxie looks shocked, and Brook says, they want to fire her? Maxie says, no, they’re not going to fire her, and Lucy says, okay, but Brook better get her head back in the game now. Brook’s phone chimes, and she reads: Chase’s Audition 15 Minutes. Brook says, duly noted. She has to run now. Maxie says, no, where is she going? and Brook says, to get her head back in the game.

Anna says she’s guessing the matter on Jordan’s plate is the life changing information Jordan gathered on Curtis. Anna thought she wanted to disclose it to Curtis. Jordan says, her self-examination derailed after a tough question from Curtis. He asked if she was trying to hold on to their marriage. Anna asks, what gave him the idea she might be? and Jordan says, a volunteer postal worker. Anna says, okay. What did Jordan tell him? Did she lie? Jordan says, she told the truth. It just wasn’t the answer to the question he asked.

Curtis asks if there’s a poker game going on in the back he’s not aware of, and Selina says, it’s a bit early in the day for a high stakes poker game. He says, then he can’t imagine another reason she might be in his nightclub, and she says, she does have a reason. Just not a good one.  

Valentin says he hopes Victor knows what he’s doing, and Victor says, apart from a lesson in pronunciation, he was offering Kristina his professional assistance in the wake of her close brush with a murderer. Valentin says, it would be a mistake to provoke Sonny Corinthos, and Victor says he can’t believe Valentin is intimidated by a local mob kingpin. Valentin says, Sonny pursues his own ends quietly, but he’s dangerous when provoked, and Victor says, that’s why he’s keeping Valentin around, amongst other reasons. Nice seeing him. Let’s reconnect soon. Valentin says, Victor was going to give him a date when he can visit Charlotte, and Victor says he will, but right now he a more pressing issue to attend to. Adieu.

Curtis asks what Selina wants from him now, and she flashes back to Sonny saying, Chase is a good singer, a good guy, and he thinks Chase would make a good fit for The Savoy; and Selina saying she appreciates Sonny making the connection, and thinks Curtis will too. She tells Curtis, an apology. She’s seen him twice since his engagement, and he never said a word. She had to hear about it from her nephew. Apparently, that’s all anyone is talking about. He says she exaggerates, and she says, Dr. Robinson is a very lucky woman, but she wishes Curtis had shared his intentions with her. She could have connected him to a fine jeweler she knows. He asks how much that favor would have cost him, but she says, no favor; a courtesy from one partner to another. He says, partners are equal; they’re anything but. She says she’s open to expanding his role in her organization, but he says he prefers his independence. She says, independence is an illusion. She’d still like to honor his engagement. He says, she’s done enough, but she says, he doesn’t know what it is yet. Brook and Chase walk in, and Brook says she hopes they’re not late.

Jordan tells Anna, of course (🍷) she still loves Curtis. The divorce wasn’t her choice. He couldn’t forgive her from keeping too many things from him. Anna asks why Jordan is still keeping secrets, and Jordan says, if she told Curtis what she knows, it could destroy his relationship with Portia. And what does that get her? Gratitude? A second chance with him? She’s unlikely to get either. Anna says, what about her own self-respect? and Jordan says she wouldn’t be proud of herself for hurting two people in love. So she’s decided Curtis and Portia’s relationship is no longer her business. Anna says, perhaps not, but is Curtis’s happiness her business? They had a great marriage when they were together. Doesn’t Jordan still love and respect him? By withholding this information, she’s basically decided what Curtis can and can’t handle; what he should and shouldn’t know. is that fair? Valentin shows up, and Jordan tells Anna, thanks for listening. Anna says she’ll always listen, and Valentin says, forgive him for intruding, but is there something Jordan wants to tell them? Jordan says, as a matter-of-fact, she does. Be careful. They know the how of Ava and Brando’s attacks, but they don’t know the why. Which makes it harder to predict who might be the next target. She leaves.

Finn sees Portia, and asks if she isn’t off today. She says, she doesn’t know. Is it today, yesterday, tomorrow; she has no idea. He says, she never left the hospital, and she says, Britt and Terry had their hands full with the police, so she volunteered to take over. He says, she should have told him, but she says she knew he had a prior commitment with his daughter. Besides, Trina’s back in the dorm, Curtis is working late, and with everything that’s going on around here… He says, she needed the hustle and bustle of the hospital, and she says, focusing on work keeps her mind off things. Like what really happened with Brando. She went over everything; his vitals, the post op reports. He should have made a full recovery. Finn says he’s hoping the tests from the lab provide the answers, and she says, if not, maybe they can get some answers from The Invader. She read the article linking the attacks, and disclosing that a hook was used in both. She also happened to notice they cited an anonymous GH source. She wonders who spoke up.

Alexis asks what went on with Sonny and Victor, and he tells her, hold on. He goes over to the bar, and asks if Kristina is okay. She says she’s fine. Save his concern for Sasha and Gladys. Alexis says, their concern is for her right now. She witnessed the attack. They have every right to be concerned. Kristina says, Great Uncle Victor thought so too. He had some pretty good advice. Alexis says, Victor was checking up on her too? and Kristina says, he offered to hire someone to protect her after the attack on Brando. Great guy, but overreact much? Alexis says, in this situation, her Uncle Victor has it sized up correctly.

Lucy scarfs gummi bears, and Maxie tells her not to choke on her gummies. Take nice, even breaths, and breathe away her frustration over Brook. Lucy says, BLQ just might be BFE – bye forever. Maxie says, Brook is in love, and it’s not worth firing her over. They just spoke to her. Let’s give her a chance to do better. She wrests the bag of gummies from Lucy’s hand, and Lucy says, okay. Maybe they should check with the headhunters to just see if there’s some social media talent out there. Maxie asks if they can put a pin in that, and give Brook a second chance. Think of all the mistakes they’ve made for love. Victor walks in, and says, and he hazards a guess that Lucy is long overdue another chance.

Brook asks if Curtis has time for Chase’s audition. It seems like they’re interrupting. Curtis says, apparently there was a mix up. He didn’t realize there was an audition on the books today. Brook says she knew she should have come in person to confirm, and not rely on her assistant, and Chase says, Curtis seems busy. They should come back another time. Brook says she’s sure a successful entrepreneur such as Curtis can eke out two minutes to hear Chase cut loose. Curtis says, he knows from the Nurses Ball that Chase has a set of pipes on him. He could do with a refresher. He always has time for a star on the rise.

Portia tells Finn that she even saw an item on the news this morning, which means the national outfits are sniffing around. That’s all thanks to the Invader story. Whoever decided to speak to Alexis’s reporter, may have been responsible for bringing additional attention to the case, which is such a good thing. Finn says he really doubts the party in question was looking for any kind of attention, when Jordan comes around the corner. Portia says, otherwise, it would have gone on record. She’s sure this civic-minded individual’s only goal was to alert the public to a killer in their midst. Jordan says, the best of intentions. If only they didn’t threaten to disrupt an investigation that barely started. If either of them have any idea as to the identity of this civic-minded individual, please let her know.

Sonny says, he and Kristina’s mother are going to keep her safe, not Victor. Kristina says, she appreciates the concern, but focus on Molly. She had a thing with Brando. She must be feeling awful. Alexis says, Molly didn’t witness the attack, but Kristina says, she’s hardly a witness. It was dark and raining, and she’s not even sure if the attacker was a male or female.  Sonny says, Brando’s killer doesn’t know that, and Kristina says, if she’d gotten a good look, Jordan would have made her sit down with a sketch artist, and the likeness would have been posted on social media and the news outlets, and every lamppost and telephone pole in Port Charles. But there’s no posted likeness, so the attacker knows she’s not a threat. Alexis says, Kristina can’t read the lunatic’s mind. Neither can she or Kristina’s father. That’s why they talked about it, and think it’s best if she came and stayed with one of them, just for a little bit. Kristina says, hard pass, and Alexis says, it won’t matter if she takes a little break. Kristina says she’s not quitting her job, and Sonny says, no one’s suggesting that. Kristina says, PCU is back in session, and Phyllis is slammed with students at night. She’s not going to leave Phyllis hanging. Sonny says, Phyllis will understand, and Alexis says, of course (🍷) she will. Just tell Phyllis she’s scared. Kristina says she’s not scared, and Alexis says she has so much respect for Kristina’s courage; it’s so admirable. Kristina says, this has nothing to do with courage. It’s an objective evaluation of the situation. Alexis asks if Kristina really wants to risk her life for minimum wage slinging beer in a dead end job. Isn’t Kristina a manager? I would hope she’s getting more than minimum wage.

Lucy says, Victor is such a flirt, and he says, guilty as charged. He was merely referring to her wayward companion. Marvin, isn’t it? Lucy and Maxie both say, Martin, and he says, any word on a return date? Lucy says, not just yet, and he says, it’s criminal to allow such a beautiful woman to go unchaperoned. Maxie cough/laughs, and Victor asks if she’s all right. Maxie says, she’s just trying to wrap her head around Lucy and a chaperone, and Lucy says, hey! Victor tells her, don’t engage; it’s not worth it. He asks if there’s somewhere they could talk more privately, and she says she would absolutely love that, but they’re in a huge, very important business meeting. Maxie says, they are? and Lucy says, yes, they are. They were discussing the marketing of the Cunning Concealer. Maxie says, they had that meeting yesterday, and Lucy says, she’s right. They were talking about testing the Bluffing Blush. Maxie says, it passed with flying colors, and Lucy tells Victor, lunch? He says, on him, and on her way out the door, Maxie says, enjoy. Should be fun. Victor says he thought she’d never leave. Now at last he has Lucy all to himself.

Valentin says he’s sorry; he kept Anna waiting. She says, she figured he was with his father. Anything relevant to Charlotte? He says, no. Victor keeps putting him off. Victor’s more concerned about Kristina; she witnessed Brando Corbin’s attack. Anna says, she knows; horrible. So Victor’s playing family man. He says, he’s very devoted to family, as the Cassadines define the term. They eat their young. She says, not him, and puts her hand on his chest. She says, they’re going to bring Charlotte home, and he tells her, when she says it, he almost wants to  believe it’s true. They sit, and he says, the moment he decided to have a child, from the moment Charlotte was born, her life was in danger just because she was his daughter. There were forces, people, enemies who would be tempted to use her as leverage against him. He had to be careful. He just wasn’t careful enough. His own father it turns out was more lethal than anyone. She doesn’t even know to be scared of him. He’s so frightened. Anna says, good. To be brave, sometimes you need to be frightened. Now they need to be brave. He says, why? What happened? She says, she engaged one of Robert’s contacts to surveil the so-called school where Victor is holding Charlotte. Less than 24 hours after taking the assignment, the operative wanted out. Apparently Victor’s name produces a chilling effect. So if Robert’s people are going to back out, they may be on their own. He says, they have Lucy, but she asks if now isn’t the time to reconsider Lucy’s involvement. It was one thing when Anna thought Lucy could get them in the door, but if Robert’s people aren’t going to take the job because they’re afraid of Victor, she can’t in good conscience put a civilian’s life at risk. He says, then they may have to cut her loose before she gets in deeper.

Victor says he’s worn himself out trying to reach Lucy for the last couple of days. He left messages, he sent telegrams, both the written and the singing variety. She says she didn’t get any of that. She’s going to have to fire her assistant. He suggests they do it together; it will be a bonding experience. She says she has the feeling that might be a bit of a violation of HR rules, and he says, then they’ll just have to rewrite the rules over their long-awaited lunch. She says, about that… and he says he’s sensing bad news. She says, Sasha Gilmore’s husband died; he was murdered. So she would feel uncomfortable having lunch with him. It would be tempting, but under the circumstances, not a great idea. Does he understand? He says he understands nothing of the sort.

Kristina says, that escalated quicky, and Alexis says, technically moving the conversation from Kristina’s life being threatened to her career would qualify as a de-escalation. Sonny says, they’re not here to discuss Kristina’s career; they’re here to discuss her safety. Kristina says, a subject that seems to provide her mom a segue into her life choices, and Alexis says, if Kristina had made different life choices, and take a different path, they wouldn’t be… Kristina says, a path more reputable and less dead endy? and Alexis says, she meant limited. This is a great job in the short term. Kristina says, but it’s not law school, and Sonny tells her, no one said anything about law school. Kristina says, here’s their chance, and tells Alexis, go ahead. Does Kristina embarrass her? Alexis says, of course (🍷) not, and Kristina says, Alexis just thinks she should quit her job and do something more productive. Go ahead. Say it. She’ll feel better. Sonny says, that’s enough, and Alexis says, what she meant was, she just wants Kristina to live up to her full potential. Kristina says, and working at Charlie’s is doing anything but.

Portia suggests, if Jordan wants to know who the anonymous source is, give Alexis a call, and Jordan says, so she can get a freedom of the press and we protect our sources speech from Alexis? Why waste her time? Finn says, she thinks one of the doctors here leaked the story? and Jordan says, prior to that article, it wasn’t public knowledge that Brando and Ava had been stabbed with a hook. She’s here to lay down the law with their Co-Chiefs of Staff about disclosing important details. Finn says, Jordan must have bigger priorities than tracking down the source who leaked the information for the article, and Jordan says, believe it or not, she can juggle several priorities at once. Portia asks, how much damage could acknowledging Port Charles might have a serial killer actually do to the investigation? but Jordan says, they won’t know until the damage is done. Remember when The Invader leaked Franco’s brain tumor, and Alexis tried to kill him, and almost killed Dante instead? She wanted to keep the perp guessing. Now this person has an edge, which they can exploit. A nurse tells Portia, this is for her, and hands her some papers. Portia says, it’s the test results from last night. This is Brando’s cause of death.

Selina says she hopes Brook and Chase don’t mind if she stays. She’s considering renting the club for a private party. She’d love to get a sense of the acoustics and how the music plays. Brook says, it’s up to Chase, and he says, whatever. He’s got to get used to an audience at some point. Selina thanks him, and sits down. Brook says, Chase hates her, and he asks where she got that. She says, he’s distracted, thinking about Sasha, and she’s dragging him to an audition that she doesn’t know if he wants. He says, is now the perfect time to sing? No, but does he hate her? Absolutely not. She asks if he’s sure. She know he wishes he could do something for Sasha right now. He says he can’t deny that, and she says, so they’ll go. Forget the audition, and go see Sasha. They’ll both feel better. She starts to leave, but he grabs her arm, and says, Sasha’s got Brando’s mom and Nina hovering over her. Him foisting himself on her might be more about him feeling useful than being of real use to her. Brook says, he won’t know until he tries, and he says, later. Right now, he wants to do something useful for her, for them. They kiss, and Chase sings a song I’d guess is called I’m Falling Into Place.  

Victor tells Lucy, it’s absolutely the right time for their lunch, but she says she doesn’t know if she’d be very good company. She’s so distracted worrying about Sasha. He says, fortunately he’s the master of distraction. He’ll keep her mind off these gruesome events, and focused on their shared interests; hers and his, and ways of increasing her profit potential. She says she’s always looking for a good corporate partner, and he says he thinks he can do a little better than that. Give him her undivided attention, and he may surprise her with a more than satisfactory Cassadine infusion… of capital of course (🍷). He holds out his hand.

Chase finishes his song, and everyone applauds. Brook asks what Curtis thinks, and Curtis says he thinks there’s a Savoy debut in Chase’s future. Chase says, really? and Brook says, of course (🍷) there is. He has the voice, and so much more. She kisses him, and Chase tells Selina, the kid’s got talent. She says, and he has taste, and he says, this private party of hers. The place is hers for 50… thousand. She asks if he accepts checks, but he says, sorry. Cash is king.

Valentin and Anna go to the Deception office, and Anna tells Maxie that they’re looking for Lucy, but she’s not in her office. Maxie says, they just missed her, and Valentin asks if Maxie knows where she went. Maxie tells him, they didn’t say, and Anna says, they? Maxie says, Lucy and Victor; they left together. Anna and Valentin look at each other.

Sonny says, he and Kristina’s mother only want what’s good for her, and she asks if what’s good for her includes her happiness. He says, of course (🍷) it does, and she asks if that includes Alexis too. Alexis asks, what kind of thing is that to say? and Kristina tells them, then the subject is closed. She doesn’t intend on working at Charlie’s until she dies, but right now, working here makes her happy. And she doesn’t intend on dying anytime soon – by crook or by hook. She stomps off, and Sonny tells Alexis, she’s all you. Alexis nods in agreement.

Jordan asks what the tests results say, and Finn wonders if they made the call on Brando’s cause of death. Portia says, the stab wound didn’t kill Brando. The weapon was laced with a toxin; a poison. She hands Jordan the papers.

Tomorrow, Jordan says she’s glad to hear she and Portia are both on the side of truth; Maxie asks what’s going on and how worried she should be; Nina tells Sonny, Drew’s investment is more than he’s letting on; and Carly says, if Peyton wants to do this the hard way, that’s fine with her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

When we left last week, the women were headed to another bar at Kyle’s insistence. In the car, Kathy said, if she didn’t get in (referring to the dress code), she wouldn’t be mad. LisaR said, she’s Kathy-F***ing-Hilton. She can get in anywhere. I think that’s the crux of a lot of the problems with the world. Nobody should be able to get in anywhere on their name alone, unless they’ve come up with a cure for cancer or something equally important.

We see Aspen at peace, and the snow covered hills. It must know the women are packing to head home. Kyle asks if LisaR is almost ready, and in LisaR’s interview, she says, her head is in a fog after what happened last night. It’s worse than a hangover. They were at the club, and Kathy was having a meltdown. She’s never seen anything like this. She tells Kyle that her face is puffy; Aspen does a number on your filler. Kyle says, her face is puffy from crying, and we see a clip of her getting tissues from the bartender at Kemo Sabe. She tells LisaR that she cried at Kemo Sabe, then she cried talking to Erika. She can’t. In her interview, LisaR tells us, she’s not saying a lot. She’s still in shock. It was nothing she would have imagined coming from anyone in the group, let alone Kathy. Here’s where, were there a camera in my house, I would stare at it like Jim from The Office. In Kyle’s interview, she says, her sister doesn’t want to come out of her room. She can’t believe she’s leaving her sister behind in Aspen because she doesn’t want to go on the plane. If Kathy is this upset, somehow it will be her fault.

Everyone meets at the airport, and they get on the plane. Mauricio says he went skiing, and can’t believe he had to wait for them. LisaR says, after what she’s been through, she’s having a Bloody Mary. Erika says she doesn’t want to fight with Sutton, and Sutton says she doesn’t want to fight with Erika. Erika says, she can’t give Sutton the answers she wants, and when she screams out, it’s pure anger. She’s sorry to everybody on the receiving end. She’s f***ing mad because she doesn’t feel heard. In Sutton’s interview, she wonders why Erika is saying she’s sorry. Is the plane going down? They had good a conversation when they went snowmobiling, but can she trust it? She’s going to try, but she looked out the plane window for the smoke. Kyle says, Kathy was sleeping when they left. She’d texted, saying she wasn’t going on the plane. In Erika’s interview, she says, Kathy’s not on the plane because she had a breakdown in the nightclub, and they all saw. In Kyle’s interview, she says, everybody knows, and in Sutton’s interview, she says, Kathy asked everyone to do a conga line, but no one wanted to. The next thing she knew was Kathy was in her face, said she wanted to go home, and if Sutton didn’t go with her, she was not Kathy’s friend. In Crystal’s interview, she says, she didn’t see it, but there was a commotion. She’s known Kathy a long time, longer than most of the women, and knows how bad her behavior has been. In Diana’s interview, she says, she saw Kathy raging, screaming, mostly at Kyle. Kathy wanted to leave now, and Kyle said she wasn’t doing that; they just got here. In Dorit’s interview, she says, LisaR said she’d take Kathy home, and in LisaR’s interview, she says, it got worse in the sprinter (car). Kathy was screaming that she was going to take down NBC, Bravo, and take down the show. She was going to single-handedly ruin all of them. When they got back to Kyle’s house, it got even worse. Kathy threw her glasses on the floor, and was jumping on them, and pounding the walls. She said, she made Kyle, and she’d destroy Kyle and her family if it was the last thing she did. Why isn’t Bravo showing us this? I’d actually pay money to see this tirade. On the plane, Kyle says, she and her sisters grew up fighting. She and Kim would draw blood. In her interview, she says, LisaR was texting Erika a play-by-play, and she saw Erika’s phone. She didn’t want to go home. LisaR tells Kyle, they’ll have to talk about it at some point, and in her interview, she says, Kyle is more famous and successful than Kathy ever was. Clearly, Kathy is holding on to the anger. We see flashbacks of Mauricio talking about opening his own agency, but being concerned about the family; and Kathy telling Kyle that American Woman will show their mom in a bad light. LisaR says, it’s hard for Kathy to have it all, and then have her sister have more. LisaR tells Kyle not to worry about her sister. It’s not her problem.

LisaR and Sutton go shopping for Crystal’s birthday present, and we see a clip of Crystal inviting everyone to her 39^th birthday party. She tells them, it’s going to be a Great Gatsby/Roaring 20s theme. Sutton and LisaR choose an orchid plant, and decide to have it delivered. Crystal tells Rob, the party is tomorrow, and says she’s going crazy. Rob says, it’s going to be fun, but Crystal says she has no idea. In Crystal’s interview, she says, the 20s was a beautiful era, and she wants to dress up with everybody and have a good time. She tells Rob that she’s scared. She wants to have fun, but in Aspen, there was fighting every night. In her interview, she says, they’re not going to ruin her birthday, and crosses her fingers. She suggests they get a shed to lock them in, just in case, and Rob says, they can be given time out. Kyle tells Portia that she’s unpacking then packing again. She asks Portia to find some good crystals for her. She’s going to need good energy after Aspen. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’s filming Halloween Ends. She’s going to miss Crystal’s birthday, but the last thing she wants to talk about is Aspen. Thank God she’ll be being chased by Michael Myers. She hasn’t seen or spoken to Kathy since Aspen. She thinks Kathy went from her house to a hotel, then back to L.A. She’d believed she and Kathy would never go to a bad place again. We flash back to the Reunion where Kathy was crying, and then they hugged and made up. She says she doesn’t know how she can fix this. Um… Pay for Kathy’s therapy? New pup Smokey chews on Kyle’s suitcase, then grabs a sweater, and runs out on the deck, where Kyle has to chase him around until she gets it back – with a hole in it. Once again. Pets, the great leveler. Even Kathy-F***ing-Hilton can’t do a damn thing about an unruly pet.

Erika and Dorit go to a chocolate place, and Dorit says, it would be her five-year-old’s dream come true. Erika says, it smells like heaven, and the manager (or whoever he is; I missed it) says, the thing with chocolate is, no matter what you’re going through, chocolate will make you happy. Erika says, unfortunately, she knows that, and in Dorit’s interview, she says she wanted Erika to have some fun, and what better way to lift her spirits than chocolate? In Erika’s interview, she says, chocolate is like therapy. Real therapy is expensive. She just got her bill. They put hats on to cover their hair for making chocolate, and the manager says, they’re Lucy and Ethel. They dip Oreos in pink chocolate, and make chocolate hearts. Afterward, Dorit tells the manager, their girlfriend is going to be 39, and asks if he can whip up something super special. He says, anything for them. Dorit says she knows Erika must have seen Garcelle on The Real, and Erika says, it was devastating. We see a clip of the show where Garcelle says, giving up the earrings would be a way of saying she has compassion. Dorit says she was talking to Kyle, and it seemed like if she chose to support Erika, in some way she was supporting the alleged crimes. We see a clip of Kyle telling Dorit, what Erika said was disturbing and wrong, and wondering if Dorit agrees with Erika. In her interview, Erika says she can’t deal with these chicks who wonder, what will the neighbors think? Sometimes the ones that are doing the best are hiding the most. She tells Dorit that she’s tired of being the whipping boy while others display not their best behavior. Dorit asks who she’s talking about, and in Erika’s interview, she says, this town has different rules for the hyper-elite. Kathy’s family has a lot of strength, wealth, and connections. People think twice if they want to challenge them.Erika tells Dorit, they’ve seen each other at their worst, and she’s heard things that aren’t the best. If they thinks she’s their whipping boy for the entire group, they have another thing coming.

Everyone gets ready for Crystal’s party, and Erika tells makeup artist Preston and hairstylist Clyde that she misses the old days. They toast, cheers to old school. In Sutton’s interview, she says she doesn’t really like costume parties, but she has an authentic 1920s dress, so she’s kind of excited. Garcelle tells her team that there might be dancing or there might be hair pulling. Sheree comes over while Garcelle is still upstairs, and signs her name on the gift card, saying, this is from us. Garcelle comes down the stairs, dressed in pants with suspenders that say Chanel, dark shirt, and a fedora. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, her inspiration was Josephine Baker. She feels strong, glamorous, and don’t mess with me. Sheree tells Garcelle that she kind of signed her name on the card, and Garcelle says she will f*** Sheree up. She says, they have a lot to talk about. They discussed the $750K earrings on The Real, and she taped it before Aspen. We flash back to Garcelle and Crystal talking about it prior to the taping. She tells Sheree that she hasn’t seen Erika since then, but she thought Erika was wearing the earrings in Aspen. Sheree says, it would be a hard thing to give up, but Garcelle says, stop it right now. You have other stuff. Sheree tells Garcelle, she’s just saying it would be hard, and asks what the consensus was. Garcelle says, hers was, give up the earrings. She can’t imagine Erika hasn’t seen it. In her interview, Garcelle says, everybody is talking about it, but she won’t say anything unless Erika brings it up. She says, it’s Crystal’s birthday, they’re going to celebrate, and they look the part.

Needless to type, the party looks fabulous; food and drink everywhere, a magician, a crescent moon to take a photo with, or on. In Crystal’s interview, she says, she and Rob have an affinity for the 20s. Rob had the same thing for his birthday, but it was a huge party. Because of covid, they minimized the group. She wants to leave the tension behind and give good party. Crystal is dressed in a traditional embroidered Chinese dress with a mandarin collar, but most of the women are flappers. Erika looks like a Ziegfeld Follies girl, and LisaR shows up in a tux. In LisaR’s interview, she says she wanted to be here for Crystal, but it’s hard to get past what she went through with Kathy. She’s in shock. She’s putting on a brave face, but she has PTSD. Please. Like she hasn’t given anyone PTSD. It’s not like Kathy hit her, and a fit is pitched at least every other episode. She should get a load of RHONJ. Kathy arrives, surprising everyone, and makes the rounds, acting like everything is fine. In her interview, LisaR says she’s surprised to see Kathy. She didn’t think Kathy would show, but she’s here and decked out to the nines, acting like nothing happened. It’s so f***ing weird. They all sit down for a moment, but before it gets too awkward, Crystal tells everyone to go down to the parlor, which is what she’s now calling the finished basement. We see before photos, and not a big shock, it’s amazing. In Crystal’s interview, she says, it wasn’t a small project. She doesn’t know the exact amount – she chose not to look – but they were in budget, and she’s proud of that. In her interview, LisaR says, it’s excruciatingly difficult to watch Kathy act like nothing happened. It’s building in her, and she’s super uncomfortable. If everyone knew what Kathy had said about them, they wouldn’t be happy. It’s so f***ed up on every level. We see Rob’s Wurlitzer jukebox, and he says, it’s from 1942, and rare, since they were only made for a year. He paid $30K for it, and considering how pristine it looks, I’m thinking that’s not bad. I also think Quentin Tarantino has that same jukebox.

Erika has a mint julip, and asks if Sutton wants to try it, but Sutton says she doesn’t drink bourbon even though she’s Southern. She takes a sip, and is like, yeah, no. In her interview, she says, it’s going well with Erika. Maybe the Aspen air is still with them. Maybe there’s not enough oxygen and Erika’s not thinking straight. Erika talks to Rob about reconstruction on the house, and tells him that the house she lived in with Tom was built in 1928, so she knows how it is. We flash back to her and Tom discussing redoing the grounds. She tells Sutton that she went by it the other day. It was empty, and the windows and drapes were open. She sat in her car and looked at it. She thought, all right, and drove on. There’s no returning, but she knew that when she left. She’d catalogued it as a chapter in her life, and she’s closed the book. We flash back to Erika giving the women a tour of her house, and she tells Sutton that she can’t be attached to things like that. In Erika’s interview, she says she can’t stay in a place of loss and grief. She has to transcend the negativity, the pain and suffering, and criticism. Let it go and go on to the next chapter.

Rob gets everyone’s attention, and Crystal says, it’s another year of celebrating with them, and it’s special. This is the last year of her thirties. LisaR says, what a brag, and in Diana’s interview, she says, Crystal hasn’t even had her first Botox yet. See you in ten years. I love how it’s a given she will get Botox. Crystal thanks them from her heart, and blows out the candle on the cake, which is decorated like part of a crime scene; a knife sticking out of the top, and blood cascading down it. Everyone gets a beautiful cookie decorated with their name, and Dorit asks Garcelle about The Real. Garcelle says, it’s her job, and in Dorit’s interview, she wonders if Garcelle feels guilty about throwing a grenade masquerading as a place of concern. LisaR tells Crystal that she loves her, but needs to go home. She’s still upset after what happened in Aspen, and can’t sit there. In LisaR’s interview, she says she’s trying, but she feels like she’s seen the devil, and its name is Kathy Hilton. Crystal asks if it’s that bad, and LisaR nods.

In LisaR’s interview, she says, Kathy is polished, a loving mother, a socialite, and a pillar of society. To hear these things coming out of her mouth… She can’t believe anyone would think, feel, or say that about their own family. She leaves, and Erika asks Garcelle if they can talk. Garcelle says, absolutely, and Erika says, she would have loved a heads up about The Real. She knows it was shot before Aspen, and had thought they had a nice time. Garcelle says, they did, and Erika says she thought they’d connected at dinner. Garcelle says, they did, and Erika says, they had a nice moment snowmobiling, and Garcelle could have said, hey girl, I want you to know what’s going to happen. When she saw it, she thought, here we go again. She’d rather find out from the source. Garcelle says she obviously hurt Erika’s feelings and she gets it. She’s sorry. Crystal comes back, and tells them LisaR left. Everyone is like, what? and Garcelle says, without saying goodbye? Crystal tells them, she said she had to go. She was still shaken up about what happened in Aspen. She doesn’t know what that means, but LisaR looked like she saw a ghost. In Kathy’s interview, she says, LisaR has gone through a lot, losing her mom, but she doesn’t believe what she shared with LisaR in Aspen would upset her. LisaR listened, and by no means was there any indication she was upset. If she was the toe [sic] that broke the camel’s back, she apologizes. Kathy says, LisaR is tough; they shouldn’t worry. Garcelle asks Erika to call LisaR, and Erika goes into another room, saying, in the 20s, this would be a soup can and a rope. Not quite. Apparently, she’s never seen Downton Abbey. Diana follows her, and Erika calls, but LisaR doesn’t pick up. Diana says, that’s not like her, and Erika says she thinks LisaR is mad that some behavior might get swept under the rug. They all drank and had a good time, but then Kathy got upset and wanted to leave. She saw Kathy yelling, and LisaR took her home. She thinks LisaR should tell the group what went on. In Erika’s interview, she says, LisaR was texting her as she took Kathy home. She reads some of the texts, and LisaR says she went into the sprinter, and Kathy had an absolute meltdown. Then, after they got back, LisaR texted that she’s never seen or heard anything like it. Anger, screaming, throwing things, crying. Diana tells Erika, they’ve all said ugly things, and Erika says, everybody is quick to condemn her behavior, but if they talk about her behavior, they’re going to talk about everybody in the group.  

Diana says, the Kathy she knows is put together, but not in Aspen. She was raging. She didn’t know who this person was. Erika says she doesn’t know what’s going on, and in her interview, she says, Kathy did what she did in the nightclub. They all saw it. All Kathy has to do is, admit it, apologize, and move on. Diana says, they all saw the wrath, but LisaR saw more wrath. Erika says, the sprinter wrath, then the home wrath. She thinks she feels torn. Diana says, she doesn’t want to get between two sisters. You never want to get between family. Erika says, it’s not about being sisters; it has to do with being Kathy. Erika says, LisaR has her own story, and Diana wonders why she’s not here. She makes clucking noises, and tells Erika, just saying. In Diana’s interview, she says she’s not used to a chicken LisaR. She doesn’t want to be judge and jury, but they don’t know what went down. Everyone should be held to the same standard, and bad behavior should be called out. Everyone else decides to call it a night, except for Dorit, who sits with Erika and Diana. Erika says she was having a conversation with Diana; they were talking about Aspen and Kathy’s behavior. She was running in and out, being angry. Dorit asks if they think that’s why LisaR, and Erika says, LisaR took Kathy home. It got worse in the sprinter and in Kyle’s house. Dorit says she’s never seen Kathy like that, and in her interview, Erika says, be careful of those who have a lot to protect. She has nothing to protect. She says she doesn’t know why LisaR is afraid; they’re not here to protect anybody, and she certainly hasn’t been protected. The game turns on everybody, and it’s Kathy’s turn now. Dorit says she’s afraid if Kathy is outed, Kyle will suffer the most, and Erika shrugs.

Next time, a Pretty Mess hair event; Elton John; LisaR says she’ll never forget it; Kyle feels like Kathy hates her; and LisaR tells Kathy that she’s not getting away with it.

🗯 I dunno. Maybe Kathy’s anger isn’t that far-fetched. She sent Paris to that pseudo school where they beat her. There must have been a reason Paris never told anyone until she was well into her adulthood. It doesn’t sound like Kathy was the best at parenting, but we really don’t know why. I can’t imagine she’d keep her temper under wraps at home where she can actually be herself.

🐉 This Week’s Throne Goes To…

What happened in Dragonstone this week.

⚰️ Deadly Tale…

This one was pretty creepy. The moral: Maybe you’d better listen when an old lady tells you to get out of her house.

https://www.tvinsider.com/1060992/tales-of-the-walking-dead-finale-recap-la-dona/

💃🏽 Cha-cha-cha-ing Off…

Let’s meet tomorrow for soap, Charm, and audio. Until then, stay safe, stay standing your ground, and stay not mispronouncing scone in England. If you do, you’re sent to the Tower of London, and your head’s cut off.