What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna comes downstairs, and Valentin is gone, but there’s a huge bouquet of roses. She looks at the card, and reads, my darling Anna. Back to work at ELQ, but every day I wake up beside you is heaven. Love, Valentin. She holds it to her chest, and there’s a knock at the door. Holly says she’s sorry for not calling. She hopes she’s not interrupting, and Anna asks if it would have stopped her anyway. Holly says she’s afraid not. She really needs Anna’s help. Anna asks how she can refuse Holly anything after what she did to bring Victor down, and Holly says she hopes Anna means that, because she needs a job.

Felicia and Mac have breakfast at the MetroCourt, and Felicia asks if he knows how much she lives for this. He says, coffee and croissants? but she says, quality time with her husband. She closes her eyes, waiting for a kiss, but he’s looking at his phone. She asks, what happened to the romantic man she married? and he says he’s sorry. He sent about a dozen messages to his brother, and Robert hasn’t bothered texting him back. She says, Robert’s had his hands full lately, and he says, with what? Diane walks in, and Mac asks if she’d mind joining them for a moment. She says, of course (🍷). What’s it about? Mac says, his brother.

Robert tells the desk sergeant that he’s expecting something from Judge Thomas, but the sergeant says, there’s nothing here marked DA Scorpio. Robert says, then he’d expect a degree of initiative at this point. They can track it down. It’s important. Dante asks, what’s going on? and Robert says he put in for a warrant; it should be here by now. Dante says, maybe he can look into it. What’s the warrant for? Robert says he’s pursuing a violation of the RICO act, and Dante says, racketeering, huh? Robert says he prefers to call it enterprise corruption, and Dante asks if he’s familiar with the location of the alleged operation. Robert says, you can hardly miss it. It’s got a big sign above the door that says, The Savoy.

Curtis does some paperwork at the club, and gets a text from Agent Hursley: Offer still stands. The WSB wants you. Selina sits down across from him, and says, welcome home, stranger. Where’s the tickertape parade in his honor? He says, The Savoy’s closed. All he wants to do this morning is go over last night’s receipts, and she says, so it’s back to normal, is it? She can’t blame him after what he’s been through. The Invader painted quite a vivid picture. But look at the bright side. He may be rewarded for his heroism, and she doesn’t mean a key to the city. He asks what she does mean, and she says, from what she understands, his reward might be a brave and beautiful daughter.

Trina tells a lab tech that she’s been waiting for an hour to take a DNA test, and the tech apologizes, saying, it shouldn’t be too much longer. Trina says, that’s what she was told half an hour ago, and Spencer appears. He says he’s sure they can find a way to expedite the process. Trina is way too fine of a person to mention this, but her mother actually works at the hospital – Dr. Portia Robinson. Trina says she’s not looking for any special favors, and Spencer says, but they’ll take them if she has them. The tech says she’ll see what she can do, Spencer thanks her, and she leaves. Trina says she doesn’t need him fighting her battles, but he says he thought they agreed they’d fight for each other back on the Haunted Star.

Ava meets Portia at the MetroCourt, and says she came as soon as she could. Portia said she wanted to talk about Trina. Is she okay? Portia says, she’s fine, and Ava says she’s so relieved Trina came through that nightmare in Greenland without so much as a scratch. Portia says, by some miracle. That’s why she asked Ava to meet her here today. She plans on keeping her daughter safe and sound. Ava says she’s all for that. How can she help? Portia says, that’s exactly what she wanted to hear.

Laura invites Alexis into the apartment, and thanks her for coming over. She could use all the help she can get right now. Alexis says she understands, and give her a gift for Ace. She assumes he might be a bit tired after the adventure in Greenland. Laura says, he’s doing absolutely fine. It’s his mom who’s turning out to be quite a handful. Alexis asks if her memory has come back yet, but Laura says, no. It’s not about that. They sit down, and Laura says, she and Doc have done everything they can to make Esme feel at home here. To be honest, she thinks Spencer’s done the same thing, but… Esme comes out from the back, and heads for the door, and Laura says, look who stopped by? It’s Ace’s Aunt Alexis. Esme says she’s sorry. It’s a bad time; she and Ace were just leaving. Laura asks where she’s going, and Esme says, does it matter? Anywhere but here. Laura says she realizes the apartment doesn’t afford Esme much privacy, but she can’t just take off for parts unknown. Esme says, why not? She has her baby; he’s all that matters to her. Plus, the charges pending against her were dropped, so what’s to stop her? Laura says, let’s start with, where is she going, and how is she going to get there? She doesn’t have a car. And how will she pay for all of it? Esme says she has a trust fund, and Laura says, which she doesn’t have access to. She remembers that, right? Esme says, right. Her trustees pulled the plug because of people saying she’s a terrible person, but they can’t keep her money from her forever, can they? Alexis says, it’s complicated, and Esme asks, why? She’s not the same person she was when she did those things. They have to give her what’s hers, right? Laura says, yes, but in the meantime, she has to think about her baby. She has to put his needs first. Can she do that? Future Oscar contender Baby Ace starts crying.

Trina says, she and Spencer were fighting for their lives on the Haunted Star. She’s just trying to take a DNA test and get to her afternoon classes. She doesn’t know why it’s taking so long. All they’ve got to do is swab her cheek, and compare the DNA with the DNA tests from Curtis and her father. It’s not a big deal. Spencer says he thinks if Curtis turns out to be her dad, it is a big deal. Trina says, if that’s the case, Curtis will be her biological father. No matter what the test says, Marcus Taggert will always be her dad. Spencer says, she’s still facing the possibility that she could be Curtis Ashford’s daughter.

Curtis asks what gives Selina the idea that he and Trina… She says, could be related by blood? It’s not exactly a state secret. Especially if one knows people who know people who work at the GH lab. He says, right. Her nephew used to work there. She tells him, Trina is a lovely young woman. Also very brave, given everything she’s been through; being arrested, going on trial, only to be acquitted. Not to mention the latest adventure they shared on the high seas. To learn he was her biological father would be a very happy ending to that story… but perhaps he doesn’t want that.

Portia says, Trina thinks of Ava as a wonderful mentor, and Ava says she’d like to think she and Trina are friends as well. Portia says, that’s why she asked Ava to meet with her this morning. She’s wondering if Ava could help her out with Trina. Ava says, so she and Trina haven’t patched things up yet? and Portia says, when Trina came back from Greenland, she got a nice, big hug. That was wonderful, but after the initial reunion, things are still strained between them. So Trina’s not going to listen to her or her input. She’s concerned about some of the choices Trina’s making, and thinks Trina is going to get into trouble. Ava says she’d love to help if she can. What choice is Portia referring to? Portia says, the one Trina made to be with Spencer Cassadine.

Diane tells Mac that she doesn’t keep tabs on Robert outside the courtroom. She doesn’t know what he does. Mac asks if she spoke with him this morning. He understands they’ve been texting a lot. Diane says, he means about the pending case? and Mac says, of course (🍷). What else would he mean?

Dante asks why the DA’s office is interested in Curtis’s nightclub; it’s a legit operation. Robert says he’s not accusing Curtis of anything, except maybe a questionable choice of friends; one of them being Selina Wu. Dante asks if Curtis and Selina are in business together, and Robert flashes back to seeing Selina with Holly. Dante asks if the chief knows about this, and Robert asks an officer, where’s his warrant? The officer says he’s sorry; it’s not ready yet. Robert slams his hand down on the nearest desk.

Anna asks what kind of job Holly is looking for, and Holly says she was thinking about getting back into the spy game. She was hoping Anna could put in a good word for her at the WSB. Anna says, that’s what got Holly involved with Victor in the first place. Robert nearly lost his mind with grief searching for her; from here to Monte Carlo, from Monte Carlo to forever. Holly says, happily, Victor is dead, and Anna says, but they both know there are other people out there like him. Why would she want to put herself through that, not to mention Robert? Holly says, the last thing she wants would be to hurt Robert, and Anna says, so stay out; stay safe. She can assure Holly, the rush of espionage is not worth the downside. Holly says she doesn’t want the job for the rush. She needs the money.

Anna sets a tea service on the coffee table, and Holly says, a proper tea! As Anna pours, Holly says she needs money to help her son. Anna says, Ethan’s in trouble again – already? and Holly says, her son has a bit of a Robin Hood complex. Anna says, he steals from the rich and gives to the poor? and Holly says, minus a small commission. Some of the rich he’s robbed from aren’t very happy. They either want the money back, or they want Ethan killed. So he’s gone back to Australia. He knows the players there; they have deep pockets. Her son is better at cards than anyone she’s ever seen; better than her and his father. But if he makes enough to pay back the people who want to kill him… Anna says, he risks making another loser who’ll want revenge, and Holly says, if she doesn’t settle his debts, her beautiful son is a dead man walking.

Diane tells Mac, let’s just say, Robert has some issues he needs to work out, and Mac says, what kind of issues? She says, if he wants answers to questions like that, he’ll have to ask his brother. She leaves, and Mac says, there’s more to this story, and he’s going to get some answers. Felicia says, Diane is right. He needs to talk to his brother. Ask Robert what’s going on.

Esme tells Laura, Ace is her whole world. There isn’t anything she wouldn’t do for him, but she also needs her freedom, and her independence. Living in a place where people are constantly looking at her sideways and waiting for her to commit a crime is suffocating. Laura says she can appreciate that, and promises Esme’s life is going to get better. She just has to be a little patient. Esme says she has been patient. Laura and Doc have been very generous to let her and Ace live here for free, but that also means Spencer is constantly looking at her, and making her second guess every decision she makes with her son. When does she get to live her life on her own terms? Alexis says, perhaps there’s a way to make that happen. If Esme truly means what she says.

Portia tells Ava, to be clear, she doesn’t think Spencer is going to follow in his great uncle’s footsteps. She doesn’t think he’s interested in world domination. To her, it seems like he follows in the footsteps of his father. Just like Nikolas, Spencer is entitled. He’s reckless. And what’s of most concern to her is the content of his character. Just like his father. What kind of man sleeps with his son’s girlfriend? A Cassadine. Someone who’s entitled, spoiled, oblivious to consequences. That’s why she’s so afraid for Trina. Ava says, for what it’s worth (🍷), if Nikolas didn’t come back to town for the birth of his own son, she doesn’t think he’s coming back at all. So his influence over Spencer is done. Portia says, it’s too late. Spencer’s already had 18 or 19 years of bad parenting. The damage is done. Spencer is who he is, and he’s a danger to Trina. She throws all common sense out the window, which she never used to do. And she jumped on that damn boat, and almost died. Portia needs Ava’s help to make Trina see reason. Ava says she understands. She has her own regrets about becoming involved with the Cassadine family. She loves Trina, so she has to be honest with Portia. She thinks Portia would be smarter to not move against Spencer.

Curtis asks what Selina is implying, and she says she’s not trying to suggest he wouldn’t be proud to call Trina his daughter. The way she sees it, it’s not who Trina is that’s the issue. It’s the strings that bind her to her mother. Does he really need that complication in his life right now? He tells her to spit it out. What is she driving at? She says, as she told him, she has access to the labs at GH. She can make that DNA test result go any way he wants.

Curtis asks why he’d tamper with DNA results. That’s just compounding one lie with another. Trina is a wonderful young woman who he loves very much already. Selina says, all true, but he used to be a risk taker; a man who lived on the edge and liked it. Perhaps he felt that kind of rush again while playing the hero in Greenland. She’s sure the WSB was impressed he could do something they couldn’t. Maybe he thought having a daughter would get in the way of that. He looks at the text on his phone, and she says, that’s true, isn’t it? He looks at her, and she says, then why let anything, or anyone, tie him down?

A messenger goes over to Ava and says he has a delivery for her. She signs for it, and he gives her a fancyish envelope. She sticks it under her bag, and Portia says she guesses she’s a little surprised Ava doesn’t want to support keeping Trina away from Spencer. She figured Ava of all people would understand what a wrecking ball that family is. Ava agrees the Cassadine family can be bad news, and understands Portia’s concern, and Portia says, but Ava won’t help her make Trina see the light of day. Ava says she sees a different side of Spencer. He’s changing; he’s maturing. He took a principled stand when it came to his baby brother. She understands why Trina feels the way she does, and that’s why she can’t help Portia. If she has any advice at all, it would be for Portia to leave it alone and let Trina make her own decisions about her life.

Trina tells Spencer that Curtis will always be in her life, no matter what the test results show, and he says he wishes he could say the same about Esme. Trina tells him that she has to say, after Dr. Gatlin-Holt checked out Ace, and gave him the thumbs up, watching Spencer walk out with Laura and Esme and Ace, it kind of looked like it. Spencer says, that they were a family. Trust him. They’re not. He’d give anything for Esme to let go and relinquish the responsibility of raising his brother to him. Trina says, despite everything Esme’s done to her, she can’t help but feel for her. She doesn’t remember who she used to be or how she acted, and if you think about it, Ace is all she’s got. He says, Trina Robinson, you’re a genius, and Trina thanks him, wondering what she said. He says, right now, Ace is all Esme has, and she has to open her eyes and expand her horizons, broaden her worldview. As long as she’s solely focused on Ace, she’s never going to give him up. Trina asks, how? and he says, somehow they’ll have to get Esme to come to that conclusion on her own.

Esme tells Alexis that she meant every word of what she said. She wants to stand on her own two feet. She wants to make her own choices, and decide where and how she wants to live. Alexis says, what if she can make that happen? and Esme says, Alexis can help her get her hands on her trust fund? Laura says she doesn’t think that’s what Alexis means, and Alexis says, that’s not what Alexis means. She’s not offering Esme a free ride; she’s offering Esme a chance to gain the independence she craves. Esme asks how she’d do that, and Alexis says she has an opening for a receptionist at The Invader. Esme says, a job answering the phones? and Alexis asks if Esme has a college degree or any work experience at all. Esme says, no, and Alexis says, then it seems like a very appropriate job for her to start. Unless of course (🍷) all that talk about standing on her own is just talk.

Robert tells Dante, this isn’t a fishing expedition. As DA, it’s his job to investigate any hint of criminal conspiracy. Dante says, with all due respect, as cops, they do the investigating and he does the prosecuting, and Robert says, let him give Dante a refresher course in the chain of command. He sits on top of it. Dante says, and the judge that has to sign off on his warrant? Robert says he’s going to find the damn judge right now, and leaves.

Mac tells Felicia, come on. They’ve always been honest with each other. What does she know that he doesn’t? His phone rings, and he asks Dante, what’s up? Dante says he’s calling about Mac’s brother, and Mac says, what about his brother?… Thanks for letting him know. Felicia asks, what is it? and he says, that’s what he needs to find out, and jets.

Anna says, Holly isn’t the only one who cares about Ethan. Robert regards him like the son he never had. She’s sure Robert would help in a heartbeat. Holly says she’s sure he would, but if she involved him in Ethan’s not quite legal activities, he’s a respected District Attorney. The scandal could bring him down, and she’d never do that to him. Anna says, Robert still means that much to her? and Holly says, yeah. From the moment she realized she loved Robert, she always has, and always will. Anna says, so tell him about Ethan, and let him make the decision whether to become involved or not, but Holly says, it’s not as simple as that. There are things she doesn’t want Robert to know… for his protection. And if she’s honest, for her own. It’s like what Diane Miller said… Anna says, she spoke to Diane about Robert? and Holly says, Diane asked her why she thought things would work out between her and Robert this time when they never have before. Anna says, she has a point. She also has a horse in the race. Holly says she’s keenly aware, and Anna asks if she’s going to drop out of the race and let Diane win.

Holly says she and Diane are too smart and self-reliant to stoop to pulling out each other’s hair over a man, even if that man is Robert Scorpio. The last thing she’d want to do is hurt Robert by damaging his reputation, and if she ends up having to take another path to get the money to help her son… Anna asks if there’s another path, and Holly says, there’s always another path. Although sometimes she’s taken it and lived to regret it. Anna says she remembers, and Holly asks if Anna will help her get her foot in the Bureau’s door before it’s too late. Anna says her influence over there is limited. They replaced Frisco because he refused to give the order for the airstrike over the island. She just got back from a debriefing in London, and the new director isn’t enamored of her or anyone associated with Frisco. But she still knows some people and can make some calls. She thinks she’d be careful about taking that other path if she was Holly.

Robert comes back to the squad room, saying, the judge won’t sign off on the warrant. He sees Mac, and says, let him guess. Detective Falconari called up baby brother, who makes a beeline for the station. Mac says, Detective Falconari was just doing his job. Let’s have a talk. They go into the interrogation room, and Mac says, Robert can forget about the warrant; The Savoy’s off limits. Robert says, they both know Wu is a regular customer in there, and he has reason to believe Holly’s in trouble. Mac says, and Robert is coming to the rescue, and Robert says, Mac knows what she’s like; she’s her own worst enemy. Now if he can just intervene… Mac says, if he intervenes, Robert is going to screw up all the surveillance he put in place to get the goods on Selina Wu. Robert asks why he wasn’t informed, and Mac says, he’s telling Robert now. Stay out of it.

Felicia sits with Diane, who’s trying to do paperwork, and says, Mac is really worried about his brother. Diane says she’s sorry about that, but she has to get through these notes before she goes to court. Felicia says, don’t try so hard. She knows Diane cares about Robert. Diane says, absolutely. There’s a professional respect. Felicia says, she and Robert go way back, and Holly is a good friend of hers. Diane says she’s well aware. Felicia was with Holly last night when Holly came to her table to have frank discussion about present circumstances. If she didn’t say it then, she wants to thank Felicia and Alexis for letting them have that conversation in private. Felicia says she’s not sure Diane understands the present circumstances. It’s time she did.

Ava tells Portia that Trina is going to come around. But she’s also seen the way Trina looks at Spencer. She’s heard the way Trina talks about him. She was already smitten before everything that happened in Greenland. Painting Spencer in a bad light is just going to make it more difficult for Portia to heal her relationship with Trina. Portia says she’s Trina’s mother. If she sees Trina in a situation that’s bad for her… Ava says she’s just trying to give Portia the benefit of her regret. Please don’t push Trina away. Do better than I.

Spencer tells Trina, fortunately, his grandmother has a way with Esme, so she can encourage Esme and help her begin to search for things that will fulfill her other than Ace. He stops, and says he really is self-absorbed. Here he is, going on and on about his problems while she’s waiting to take a test that could literally change her whole life. She takes his hand and says, she’s grateful for the distraction. If he has problems, she wants to hear about them. He says he wants to hear about her problems, since it looks like they’re stuck together. She says, looks like, and he says he wouldn’t have it any other way. She says, neither would she.

 Curtis says, if Selina is offering to fix the DNA results, there must be something in it for her, and she asks when he became so cynical. He asks why she doesn’t just admit it. She doesn’t give a damn whether he’s Trina’s father or not. She just likes having something over him. She asks what else she needs. She already has their little game in the back room; payback for putting his father’s arrest record in his hands. Whether he likes it or not, the two of them are joined at the hip. He says, for now, but hear him clearly. Do not do him any favors by doctoring those results. He gives Selina her tab from last night, and leaves.

Esme asks if Laura put Alexis up to this. Is it her way of keeping Esme in town, by chaining Esme to a desk so she can never leave? Laura says, some people might see it as an opportunity. She did when she was asked to answer phones for ELQ when she was Esme’s age. They hear Ace crying over the monitor, and Esme goes to check on him. Laura tells Alexis, it’s a great opportunity for her. She can put down roots. She can make a home for herself and her son, with her son’s family’s assistance of course (🍷). Alexis asks, so why does Laura look so worried? and Laura says she is worried, but not about Esme. She’s actually worried about Alexis. Esme may not currently remember the terrible things she’s done, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she can’t revert back to her old behavior. Alexis says she’s very well aware of that, which is why she was worried about Esme living here with Laura. Laura says, what choice did she have? Esme holds the fate of Laura’s grandchild in her hands. Alexis says she knows that, which is why… Esme comes back, and says she’s thought about Alexis’s offer, but Alexis says, there’s no rush; take her time. Laura says, she doesn’t have to decide now, but Esme says, except she has decided. She’ll take it.

Curtis comes out of the elevator, and flags down the lab tech. He says he’s having some tests done today, and his question is, how is the lab security system? How secure are they that no one can tamper with the DNA results, and what safeguards do they have in place? Trina comes over to them, and the tech says, why all the questions? Trina asks if there’s anything wrong, and Curtis says he just wants to be sure the results are accurate. Trina says, thanks for his concern, but she hasn’t even been tested yet, and the lab tech says, it won’t be long now, and tells Curtis, and it will be accurate. She leaves, and Curtis says, sorry he stuck his nose in, but Trina says, that’s okay. He has a nice nose. He wonders if it runs in the family.

Ava says she’s not telling Portia how to parent. She’s just hoping Portia can learn from her mistakes. Portia says she appreciates hearing Ava’s perspective, but she can’t stand by and lose Trina. Ava asks what she’s going to do, but Portia says she doesn’t know.

Felicia tells Diane, Robert and Holly have thirty plus years of history, but that doesn’t mean he’s willing to upend his life to be with her now. Whatever’s going on with Diane and Robert… Diane says, there’s nothing going on with her and Robert, except a court date, which she has to keep. Felicia says, Diane is the ultimate professional, but she knows the signs. Diane cares about Robert. Diane says, and Holly Sutton is the love of his life. End of story.

Robert says he has no interest in compromising the PCPD’s surveillance of Wu, and Mac says, then stay the hell out of it, but Robert says he can’t do that. He walks out, and asks, where’s his warrant? Mac says, he can wait until hell freezes over, and Dante suggests they sit down and discuss this. Robert says, screw the warrant, and walks out.

Anna is cleaning up, when there’s a knock at the door. A messenger says he just needs a signature, and Anna signs. He gives her the same envelope Ava got, and when she goes back inside, she opens it.

Alexis tells Esme, the salary is what it is, but she gets healthcare benefits, and daycare. Esme asks if that means Ace can come to work with her. She won’t have to leave him with Spencer and Laura? Alexis nods, and Esme hugs her, saying, thank you so much.

Portia comes into the hospital, and sees Trina with Spencer and Curtis. Trina says, they’re just waiting to get their DNA tests, and Curtis tells Trina, remember, whatever happens, she’s not alone. Spencer says he’ll make sure of that, and Portia says, then they’re all in agreement. Trina comes first. Always.

Ava gets up, and remembers the envelope under her bag. She opens it, and reads what’s inside.

Esme says she can’t wait to tell Ace that mommy got her first job, and thanks Alexis. This is the first step on their road to independence. She goes in the back, and Alexis says, looks like she’s got herself a receptionist. She asks, what’s that? looking at the envelope in Laura’s hand, and Laura says she doesn’t know. It was just delivered by messenger. Alexis says, that’s old school, when Laura’s phone rings. It’s Anna, who asks if Laura just got an envelope delivered to her by messenger. Laura says, just this very moment. How did she know? Anna says, because she got one too. It’s an invitation to the reading of Victor’s will.

Felicia says, Robert and Holly are her friends. She just wants them to be happy. Diane says, then there’s nothing left to say, is there? Felicia says, just this. Seeing Robert with Diane, and knowing his very complicated history with Holly, she’s not so sure where their happiness lies.

Robert walks into The Savoy, and Selina says, if he’s looking for Curtis, he just left. Robert says, actually, he’s looking for her, and she asks what she can do for him. He asks, what’s the hold she has over Holly Sutton? and she says she suggests he ask the lady herself. Holly walks in, and Selina leaves.

Tomorrow, Curtis wonders if he made a mistake going through with the DNA test; Esme asks if Alexis doesn’t have some ulterior motive for giving her this job; and Holly asks what exactly Robert thinks she’s up to.

Vanderpump Rules

In the future words of Schwartz, this is very bad.

NYC – March 1, 2023 – Watch What Happens Live. Scheana and Raquel are guests and Andy asks, who is hotter; Schwartz or Sandoval? They both say, Sandoval. A producer asks if Sandoval is ready to talk, and he says, no. Scheana was doing WWHL, and his band was performing at TomTom in LA; their single was being released. His phone fell out of his pocket, and a woman gave it to Ariana for safekeeping. In Ariana’s interview, she says, call it women’s intuition or a lightbulb, but she felt like she needed to look at it. She found a screen recording of them on a FaceTime, and her stomach dropped into her ass. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, normally, he would have deleted it, but it had been a busy day. He got himself and Ariana outside… Ariana says she called Raquel and said, if Raquel ever gave a sh*t about her, tell her when it happened. In Scheana’s interview, she says, Raquel told her that she and Sandoval were having an affair for the past seven months. Sandoval says, what he did was f***ed up; there’s no excuse. He loves and cares about Ariana, but doesn’t think they’re happy. Ariana says she learned there were evil people in the world, and sometimes they’re the people closest to you and you have no idea. We see the gossip headlines.

Ariana meets with her friend Meredith, and says she’s gone from hating Sandoval to feeling indifferent. She drinks from a bottle of wine that she and Sandoval got on their first trip together, and Sandoval drifts through the apartment like a ghost, sighing. He asks if Ariana wants anything, and she says, for him to die. I second that. She says he hasn’t said he’s sorry for what he actually did, and he says, every time he tries to apologize, it makes her more angry. She says, then let her be angry, and he says he didn’t want to hurt her. She says, yet he continued to do it over and over. She’s been with him nine years. She loved him when he was wearing combat boots and skinny jeans, had no money, and was driving a 1997 Honda Civic. Now he has money, a bar, and a band, and a girl acts enamored of him, so he can’t help himself. That’s what he wants; someone to gas him up. Raquel is searching for her identity in men, and is willing to stoop so low to f*** one of her best friend’s life partners. Does he think she’s a good person? Sandoval says, it just happened. He and Raquel became really good friends, and he was seeking what he wasn’t getting. He knows it was selfish. Ariana says, that’s the nicest word it is, and Sandoval says, he and Raquel became friends first… Ariana says she doesn’t give a f*** about Raquel and their friendship; it’s bullsh*t. Sandoval whines that it’s not; it’s real. They trust and respect each other. Ariana hasn’t respected him in a long time. Ariana says, so she’s the scapegoat, and Sandoval says, he’s trying to get her to understand. It’s not about f***ing; it’s about a connection. They were giving each other confidence. His and Ariana’s relationship wasn’t the same. They were separated all the time and had no sex life. He lost his mojo. Ariana says, so he f***ed her friend to get his mojo back, and Sandoval says, when he turned forty, he thought, this can’t be the rest of his life. She says, that’s normal, and why you go to couples therapy to figure out if you should stay together or break up. Sandoval says, she pressured him to stay in the relationship. He wanted to end things. She says, if that’s true, he shouldn’t have been in her bed. He’s a coward. He says, it’s not about stroking his ego or looks. It came from something much deeper. They became each other’s support system. Ariana says, don’t talk to her about deep connections. It’s disgusting. He says he’s seeing Raquel tomorrow, and she asks, why not just say no? She was ride or die for him, and had Raquel’s back while Raquel was smiling in her face. It’s God awful and disgusting. She regrets every moment she stood up for him, defended him, and supported him. She wants him to feel that in his soul. She stood by him, and loved him, and was ready to build the rest of her life with him. She wants him to know how she feels. She regrets ever loving him. She asks if he has any last words before they  never speak again, and he says he never thought this would happen. He thought they’d be together forever. Ariana says she would have followed him anywhere and changed whatever he was unhappy with. She was 100% committed to him. He cries and asks, what the hell is wrong with him? She can think what she wants, but they had some good times. He goes upstairs. I’m alternately sad and furious throughout this whole exchange, and if Sandoval was in front of me, I’d slap his emo tears off his stupid face.

Sandoval goes to Schwartz’s place, and Schwartz says Sandoval is the most reviled man in America. This is very bad. Sandoval cries and they hug. Schwartz says, he’s not going to beat Sandoval while he’s down, and Sandoval says he’s sorry. Schwartz says, Sandoval had a game plan; he just didn’t put it in motion. Schwartz & Sandy’s went from 4.1 stars to 1 star. In Schwarz’s interview, he says he’s exhausted in his soul. He put everything he had in there, and to think it could fall apart because of Sandoval’s affair is soul crushing. He tells Sandoval to do a post, explaining that he’s not complicit. He told Sandoval to tell Ariana. Sandoval says he wanted to, but got the vibe Ariana didn’t want to know. I hope I make it through this show, since this a-hole gets more ridiculous by the second. Schwartz says his world has been turned upside down, and Sandoval says, he and Raquel had a deep connection after guys night. Nothing happened that night, but the next day, they went to The Abbey, took shots, and kissed. He felt something he hasn’t felt in a very long time. Is he reading from the Little Book of Clichés? In Sandoval’s interview, he says, he and Ariana started to grow apart. They’ve had issues for about five years. We flash back to Jax saying he thinks their relationship is a façade, and Sandoval tells Schwartz that he’s in a relationship where there’s been nearly zero intimacy. He went to therapy. He loves Ariana. He’s been with her a long time, but they’re not there. Schwartz says, it’s relatable, but Sandoval had the multiple opportunities to tell Ariana. He told Sandoval last week to tell Ariana before it came out and humiliated them both. Sandoval says, he and Raquel had to be on the same page. Ariana didn’t ask questions. All she had to do was follow him. I have no words, and Schwartz tells him not to put that responsibility on her. He’s upset with Sandoval. Just being his friend and business partner is getting Schwartz canceled.  

A few friends are with Ariana at her apartment, and she says, Lisa offered her a place to stay. Scheana comes in, hugs Ariana, and cries. She says, Ariana doesn’t deserve any of this, and I find myself tearing up. Scheana asks, who are they? and Ariana says, they are evil, insidious people. Scheana says, it’s not like it was an oops. It was a full-blown affair. Katie arrives, and hugs Ariana. Scheana says they’ve agreed to put their sh*t aside, and in Katie’s interview, she says, it’s the first time she’s seen Scheana since they were in the hotel lobby at Scheana’s wedding… her vacation. But what Ariana is going through is bigger. Ariana tells them about going to TomTom and finding the screen recording of Raquel and Sandoval on FaceTime from the night before. They were at Schwartz’s. Katie is like, what? and Ariana says, she called Raquel and made Raquel tell her when it started. Raquel said, right after the girls trip – right after Charlotte died. She said they kissed, but Sandoval eventually told her that they’d f***ed in the car that night, and Ariana had to let him in because he didn’t have his key. I didn’t think I could hate him more, but I manage to, and Ariana says, her emotions were all over the place, and Sandoval got angry at her. Scheana says she had so much rage. She was so angry, she shoved Raquel away, telling Raquel to get the f*** away from her. Her nail might have scratched Raquel, and Raquel called Schwartz, saying Scheana punched her. In Scheana’s interview, she says, it’s scientifically impossible for her to form a fist. Her nails would break. Katie says, Schwartz hinted at something when they were at Bravocon, and in her interview, she says, Raquel was wearing a TomTom hoodie with nothing on under it, and she thought it was about Raquel and Schwartz. Katie was poking at Schwartz, saying Raquel was following him like a puppy, and he said that wasn’t what it was about. Raquel wasn’t there for him. It turns out she is a fangirl – of the other Tom. Katie says, Schwartz knew, and she wants to draw blood. Logan breaks the penis flute over his knee.

James tells Ally that he’s a nervous wreck. How could people he’s so close with do this? He’s not mad at Raquel so much as he’s mad at Sandoval. In James’s interview, he says, Sandoval is the definition of a backstabber. In a sense, he looked up to Sandoval. We flash back to Sandoval saying he’d never betray James or Raquel. James cries, and says, it’s just a waste of his friendship on such a POS. Lala and Katie come over, and Lala says, there was a point in time when she thought they were looking at the wrong Tom, and we flash back to Lala saying, he did it to Kristen with Ariana. Now he wants the sloppy drunk who’s fun. She thinks Sandoval got off on sneaking around. She doesn’t think it was the first time. It has comfortability. In Lala’s interview, she says she thinks he’s been hooking up with a lot of people. A few years ago, there was a rumor about Sandoval and Billie Lee. She thinks they should open that cold case back up. James decides to call Raquel, and asks how she feels. Raquel says, sh*tty, and James asks if she and Sandoval are an item, but she says, no. He asks, how about losing every single person she thought liked her in Los Angeles? and Raquel says, it’s definitely eye opening. He says, she lied to everyone’s face. She trashed the friendships she was building for Sandoval’s stinky 40 year old c*ck. Raquel says, James is the last person she needs to explain herself to, and Ally starts to gesture for him to hang up. In his interview, James says he’s striking back. It’s all he’s wanted and needed. Sorry not sorry.

Sandoval goes to Raquel’s place, and she says, it’s been rough. He toasts to being in hell where they belong, but she says, they’re just two people who were friends and had feelings for one another. He says, it came out of left field while he was trying to hook her up with Schwartz. After Sandoval makes a Freudian slip and calls her Ariana, Raquel says she had to tell her family. He says, her mom hates him, and she says, a little bit. She asks about his family, and he says, they love her. Raquel reminds him that they said they wouldn’t do this if they didn’t think it was worth it, and he says, it’s not ideal. They agree not to kiss in front of the cameras, and in Raquel’s interview, a producer asks why she thinks it happened. She says she was curious to know what it would be like to be physical with someone she loved. So… she didn’t love James? She knew she loved Sandoval as a friend, and never had sex like that. She should have removed herself from the situation, but didn’t have the willpower. He looks at her eye, and says, Scheana said, I punched that bitch. Raquel says she took it like a champ. She thought, is this her karma? She feels isolated, and only has him, her parents, and her sister who have her best interests at heart, and even he’s questionable. She put her life on the line for someone who would cheat on someone they love so much. She doesn’t want to be blind about it, and he says he’d never do this if there wasn’t something there. In Sandoval’s interview, he says he can’t predict the future. Maybe they’ll work out; maybe they won’t. But he felt hope and like his best days weren’t behind him. Maybe it’s just the beginning. Raquel says, they f***ed up, but it’s a learning experience. The text says, after filming this scene, Raquel turned off her phone and wasn’t seen for weeks.

Puffy! Ariana goes to Lisa’s house and cries. Lisa hugs her and says she’s sorry, but I fully believe Puffy and the ponies will make it okay. Ariana says she’s trying to lean into her anger. It keeps her from dry heaving. Lisa says, it’s no consolation, but none of them suspected anything. She asks if Schwartz knew, and Ariana says, it took him until this morning to reach out. He said he didn’t want to kick a friend when he’s down, and Lisa says, he deserves kicking, but apparently, Raquel disappeared off the face of the earth. Ariana says, Raquel should move and change her name back to Rachel. She’s not welcome in this town. In Lisa’s interview, she says, she didn’t think Raquel was capable of secretive sneaking around, and Ariana tells Lisa that Raquel ingratiated herself into her life and pretended to be her friend. In her interview, Lisa says she knows Ariana and Sandoval’s physical connection wasn’t what it should be, and along comes the beauty queen. It was too much to resist. Ariana says she hates him so much, and Lisa says, it’s normal. It will take a long time, but she’ll get through it, and there will be something beautiful for her.

Schwartz brings the dogs to Katie’s fresh from the salon, and Katie asks if he can sit and talk. He asks how Ariana is. He sent her a text; he feels bad. She asks how long he’s known, and he says, about a month, but she doesn’t believe it. In Katie’s interview, she says, the Toms have always had each other’s backs. They cover and lie for each other, like they did with Jax. We flash back to that, and she says, they’re each other’s true disgusting lovers. Katie reminds Schwartz about his comment at Bravocon, and Schwartz insists he didn’t say that, but he did tell Sandoval what he needed to do. Katie says she knows them well enough to know Sandoval’s ego wouldn’t take Schwartz pursuing a girl he liked without it not being a set-up. Why not shock everyone and tell the truth for once? Schwartz says he knew about a one night stand after guys night. Sandoval said he tried to communicate with Ariana, and tried to break up, but sometimes he’d change his mind and say he still loves her. Katie asks why Schwartz didn’t encourage him to do something, and Schwartz says he didn’t do anything wrong, and now he’s worried about the bar. Katie says, f*** the bar. He’s been Sandoval’s bitch boy, and now he’s going to lose friends. Schwartz says he’s just a dude trying to get by, and Katie says, he sounds like a country song.

Ariana receives a sh*t ton of flowers. Kristen comes over, and they laugh about our ex-boyfriend. We flash back to Kristen telling Ariana that she wins, and in her interview, saying, Ariana wins sharing a bed with the best liar she’s known. Ariana says, a lawyer from Sandoval’s camp said their relationship was one of companionship and convenience, not love and romance. Kristen says, he’s comparing it to the joke of relationship he had with her. That was convenient. Ariana wonders who this person is. It took her nine years to figure it out. Years she could have spent not defending him for Kristen’s sake. Kristen says, forget her. Ariana did her a favor. They go outside, and Ariana writes down what doesn’t serve her well, and lights it on fire. Kristen says, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Life is beautiful, so slay we must.

Sandoval goes to Villa Rosa, which he doesn’t deserve, and we see Puffy! which he doesn’t deserve. He thanks Lisa for seeing him, and she says she doesn’t feel like it’s a hug worthy moment. It’s raining, and she says, the weather has also set the tone. She says she’s heard so much and she doesn’t understand. He says he didn’t want to hurt Ariana, especially since she has a hard time trusting. Lisa asks what he thinks she’s going to have now, after he slept with one of her best friends. He says he had every intention of telling her before the Reunion, and we flash back to Ariana defending them. Lisa says, they look terrible in retrospect, and Sandoval says he’d love to have a conversation with Ariana when she’s not angry. In his interview, he says he’s conflicted about being honest, since the details might hurt Ariana more, and he tells Lisa that he doesn’t know if he’ll get the chance. He cries, and she tells him to take a moment. He says, they’ve always protected each other, and for that to be their last conversation is hard for him to handle. He hyperventilates and sobs, and the mother in Lisa has to tell him to stop; it will get better. She knows it’s been too much. In Lisa’s interview, she says she’d never do anything but condemn what Sandoval did, but she can’t turn her back on him. At some point, maybe the pain will ease. Sandoval says he wants Ariana to be happy and get the love she deserves, and Lisa says, from someone else. Sandoval says, she deserves more, and Lisa says he’s not a bad person, but he did a bad thing. She wants to make sure he knows that.

Charli, Katie, Lala, Scheana, her sister Cortney, and Ariana meet for drinks. Everyone except Ariana is in black, and Charli says, the death of Tom. Lala says, stupid question, how is Ariana doing? and Scheana says, they’re here to support her. She could never imagine what happened today. In Scheana’s interview, she says she got a call from her publicist who told her that Raquel filed a temporary restraining order. She couldn’t believe the person she took under her wing is now taking things to a legal level with her. Scheana says she’s been a mom and sister to Raquel, and Katie says, Scheana gave Raquel a place to live. Scheana says, that she paid for, and Ariana says she can’t wait to be lightyears away from this. Katie says she asked Schwartz about it, and he told her that Sandoval said it was one time and he believed him.  Ariana says she came to the bar opening, and he acted like her friend. Katie says, Schwartz may come by, and in Katie’s interview, she says, Ariana and Schwartz have a long-standing friendship. He even asked her to be a groomsmen at their wedding. He owes her more than a stupid apology text. Schwartz arrives, and Ariana says, no one wants to talk to him, but they can speak privately. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he feels bad. Ariana and Sandoval had an unspoken pact to never humiliate other person on the show and in life. He thinks too much karma built up, and it’s vengeance on Sandoval.

Ariana tells Schwartz that if she hears about Sandoval feeling down or that Schwartz is feeling bad for him, she’s walking away. Schwartz says he’s not here to advocate for Sandoval. He’s pissed at Sandoval, who exploited his kindness. Also their business, that they poured their heart soul into is suffering. Ariana says, Sandoval apologized to the business before he apologized to her publicly, and Schwartz says, Sandoval f***ed up. Everyone is freaking out because they’re being boycotted. Ariana says, why would anyone give money to Sandoval? and Schwartz says, they’ve built a family. She says, Sandoval f***ed up their family because he didn’t give a f***. What did he think was going to happen? He was going to cheat on her and be able to walk away unscathed? Schwartz says he wanted to look her in the eyes and say he’s sorry. He’s being painted as a co-conspirator, and it’s devastating. Ariana says she doesn’t think he’s that person, but she won’t have mutual friends with Sandoval, so they’re not friends anymore. Schwartz says, Sandoval assured him that he was going to do the right thing, and Ariana says, she was ride or die; she defended him. She froze her eggs because, if Sandoval wanted a baby, she wanted him to have it down the road. She cries, and says she wishes she didn’t miss him, but what she misses isn’t real.

Scheana tells Brock knowing what know now they were being blatant and obvious. Sandoval finally texted her, and asked her to hear him out. In Scheana’s interview, she says, she and Sandoval have been friends for 14 years. They opened Villa Blanca together in 2009. She never saw this as being the outcome. She tells Brock that Lala and Katie were saying something was weird, and she told them that they were weird. When the restaurant opened, and no one wanted to take photos with her, he brought her in and said she was with them. Sandoval comes over, and Brock says he’s taking Summer to the park. Sandoval put them in a tough one. I covet Scheana’s giant hoop earrings, and there’s silence. Sandoval says he’s sorry to Ariana obviously, but also to her. He feels bad about the things he said that night. In Scheana’s interview, she says, Sandoval called her after WWHL, and said their friendship was nothing. He said he wasn’t one of her best friends, and she was no one to him. Sandoval says, when he turned 40, he had a spiritual awakening. He was going to break up with Ariana. Scheana says, but he didn’t. He f***ed her best friend instead. She’s known him for 14 years, and realizes she doesn’t know this person. The person she knows wouldn’t do this. The person she questioned in Miami…We flash back to Miami Girl, and Sandoval says, Ariana always knew the truth. Scheana asks if he cheated other than with Miami Girl, and he says, one other time. She says, he’s disgusting, and asks if it was someone random. He says, yeah… no. It’s not fair, so he’s not going into it. Things with Ariana haven’t been good for a long time; at least five years. Scheana asks why he bought the house with her then, and he says he felt it brought them closer together. It was a band-aid. He didn’t know how to end the relationship. Scheana suggests being an adult and having an adult, and having a conversation. He says he tried, and Ariana threatened to kill herself, which I don’t believe for a second. Scheana says, then he should have had her friends ready to rally around her like they’re doing now. Say he’s leaving because he’s not happy, and let them pick up the pieces he left. Don’t f*** her friend. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, from an outside point of view, it’s easy to say he should break up, but emotionally, it was like climbing Mount Everest. He loves Ariana. He cares for her and wants to look out for her. Scheana says she and Sandoval are obviously no longer friends, but she’s going to miss him. She cries and says, right now he don’t deserve any friends she can’t get behind any of this… She doesn’t know what else to say, and he says he’s sorry. She leaves the room, and he leaves the apartment.  

Next time – the three-part Season 10 Reunion begins – it’s the height of awful; physical fights have to be broken up; and James calls Sandoval, a worm with a mustache.

🍸 And So It Went…

Take a break tomorrow for soap and tea. Until then, stay safe, stay saying thank you and I’m sorry when the situation calls for it, and stay being an adult and having adult conversations rather than being the definition of backstabber.