Tag Archives: Once Upon A Time

Apr17

April 16, 2017 – A Curse is Lifted, Suicide Squad is Okay by Me, Potomac Goes to the Races & Atlanta Reunites

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

In Neverland, the Lost Boys chase Hook. He slides down a hill and is surrounded. He says he has treasure and rum, but they want him to pay for what happened to Peter Pan. All of a sudden, the boys drop like flies. Tiger Lily is in the shadows with a blowgun, and reveals herself. She says she never expected to see Hook back again, and he says it wasn’t planned. He thanks her for the rescue, and she pokes him in the neck with a dart.

David tells Emma they never would have put her in the wardrobe if they’d known all this was going to happen. Henry tells her it’s going to be okay, and she says she knows. David tells Regina that the story can’t end like this; Emma can’t go into the final battle without her family. Regina says she’ll have to make do with just one of them. She’s working on breaking the curse, but it might be dangerous or life-threatening. David says whatever she has, it has to work. It’s not like it’s their first time. We flash back to a few other curses the Evil Queen has laid on them.

Snow/Mary strolls through parallel Storybrooke, but everyone is in bad moods. Archie claims Pongo is off gluten. She runs into Regina, and asks if there’s any news about a John Doe in the hospital. Regina says it looks like he may never wake up. Snow ditches the flowers she was bringing to the hospital, and sees a bloom through the cracks of the sidewalk.

Snow brings the flower to David. It makes purple sparkles in the air. The machine he’s attached to goes off, and he opens his eyes. He struggles to get out of bed, asking where the Evil Queen is. He says the guards stabbed him, and the curse brought them there. He tells “Mary” that Snow White is in there somewhere, and somewhere inside, she knows he loves her. She takes his hand, and calls him Charming.

In regular Storybrooke, Snow tells Regina that they have to do this now. Regina says it’s going to hurt. Zelena and Regina take the combined heart of Snow and sleeping David, and put the halves into a potion. When the hearts are done basting, the witches return them, but Snow keels over. Zelena says the magic weakened the hearts. A revived Snow says that Emma will have to fight the final battle without them.

At the parallel hospital, David asks for Grumpy’s help. Snow tells Grumpy (calling him Leroy) to pay no attention to this mental patient she found wandering around. Snow tells David that it’s called a curse for a reason, and everyone else doesn’t know about it. She gives him clothing to change into. He says he put Emma in the wardrobe, so she must be there too. She suggests they find Gold, and tells him to meet her at an abandoned farmhouse in an hour. Snow tells Regina that David was sleepwalking and headed into the woods.

In standard Storybrooke, David shows Emma a video Snow left. She says they have to work together. David tells Emma that her mother found a way to break the curse, but didn’t know it. He shows them a picture of some flower petals, and Zelena recognizes them as pixie petals. She tells them that the enemy is already there.

The Black Fairy shows up at Gold’s shop along with Gideon. Gold says Gideon concocted a ruse to bring the fairy there, and Gideon says that one day he might understand. Belle comes out from the back, and tells Gideon he can still come back to them. Gold tries to make magic, but the fairy stops him with the dagger. She says she practically invented dark magic, but she won’t force him to do anything. When he joins them, it will be because he wants to, and then they can be the family they were meant to be. She and Gideon disappear, poof! in a puff of silver smoke.

In strange Storybrooke, David goes to Gold’s shop. He doesn’t think Gold is under the curse, and wants to know where Emma is. Gold doesn’t know what he’s talking about. David says they’ll have to find Emma on their own, but Gold says maybe he can help. Hearing Emma’s name was the appropriate wake-up call, and now he gets what’s going on. David knows that Emma is destined to break the curse, but doesn’t know where she is. Gold tells him that the pixie dust can reunite anyone who shares true love.

Back in the sort of real world, David says they need Snow’s tracking skills to find the flower, so he has to go to sleep. He knows Hook is out there fighting for Emma too.

Tiger Lily smacks Hook awake. He’s tied up in a cave. He says someone’s life is depending on him getting out of there, but Tiger Lily needs him to deliver something to another realm. He says his love is in danger. She doesn’t believe he could possibly fall in love. She shows him a piece of driftwood and says it’s really a weapon, and the only chance of winning the coming war. He says it’s not their war, but she says there’s a great darkness on the horizon, and the Savior will die without it. He says that’s the woman he loves, and tells her to look in his pocket. She takes out the ring. Tiger Lily says the Black Fairy is in Storybrooke, and this is the Savior’s only hope to defeat her. Hook asks if she has any magic, and she says Pan might, but the Lost Boys outnumber them. He says they don’t stand a chance.

No one can find David in sleeping Storybrooke. Snow says they haven’t looked everywhere in the woods. Regina suggests Archie and Pongo check the mines. When they’re out of sight, Regina reveals an electrical box. She says the tunnel is rigged for demolition; one push it all comes down. She says Snow and John Doe are both awake, which means the curse isn’t working. Snow/Mary claims she was just doing her rounds at the hospital. Regina says Snow is a hero, who would never let the cricket die, but Mary has never stood up to her. She asks what it’s going to be. Snow clutches a pair scissors. The townspeople arrive, and Regina backs off of the box. Snow disappears.

Sliding sideways, Snow and Emma find a small field of pixie dust flowers. Snow says they grow in the presence of evil. The Black Fairy appears, and says she’s been waiting to meet Emma. They’ve been destined to clash since the beginning of time. Gideon joins them. Emma asks if this is it, and the Black Fairy says everyone will know when the final battle begins. Gideon makes the flowers disappear. Emma shoots an arrow at the Black Fairy and Gideon, but they both disappear, poof! in a puff of black smoke.

Tiger Lily explains to Hook that the weapon is what banished Black Fairy to the realm where she was trapped, and that she was once a fairy. Hook asks why she gave it up, like it was tennis or something. She says she failed in stopping the Black Fairy, so she hung up her wings, and took refuge in Neverland. She points out a tree that contains the sap Hook needs to find Emma. The Lost Boys are having a Burning Man Festival, and Tiger Lily shoots an arrow at them. They run after her. Hook hooks the tree and gets the sap. One of the boys sees him, and sounds an alarm. Hook gives his own shadow the driftwood to give to Emma. He drops down into a cluster of the Boys.

David and Snow meet at the farmhouse in parallel Storybrooke. She says Regina is on to them, and gives him the flower. Gold shows up. He says they’re awake, but everyone else asleep. Gold tells David that if they find Emma now, the curse won’t be broken, and everyone will stay asleep. He gives them a vial, and says it will put David and Snow back to sleep, and make everything right again. He says the potion is the only way forward.

In real Storybrooke, Emma knows she can’t change her destiny, and tells Snow it’s not their fault. Snow says there’s something she doesn’t know. They see a pixie dust flower peeking out from the snow.

In snoozing Storybrooke, Snow sprinkles the pixie dust into her hand. David tells her to think about Emma and let the magic do the rest. She throws the dust in the air, and a door appears. David opens it. They see young Emma in her bedroom, reading. Snow says if they go through the door, she won’t be the Savior. David tells her that Emma will have new destiny with them. Snow remembers that Regina said Snow is a hero who wouldn’t let anyone suffer to get what she wants, and she’s right. She can’t sacrifice everyone else’s happiness for her daughter. She says everyone is separated from those they love, and they can’t sentence them to that forever. They have to believe that Emma strong enough to grow up without them. David wishes she wasn’t right. Snow tells Emma that they’ll see her again, and closes the door.

She tells David there isn’t much time, and starts to cry. She didn’t think they’d be saying good-by so soon. He says he’ll always find her. She says one day, Emma will find them. They kiss. He drinks the potion, and falls asleep. Then Snow drinks it.

Regina messes with the pixie dust in original Storybrooke. She gives it to Snow, and Hook’s shadow flies in, and gives her the weapon. She asks where Hook is, and the shadow drops his hook at her feet. She says there’s something wrong, and asks where he is again. The show touches her cheek and disappears. Henry says they’ll find him. She says they don’t know where he is. Snow says the magic can open the door to Hook, and explains how they used it in the past. Emma says they had to do what was right for everyone else. Snow says today she’s putting Emma first. She says they can’t allow Hook to be taken, after they’ve already taken so much. Not before the final battle.

The Lost Boys sentence hook to death for his crimes against Peter Pan. The door appears, and Emma pops out. She and Tiger Lily kick ass. Emma and Hook go through the door and Tiger Lily jets.

Emma gets Hook back to Storybrooke, and says she got his message. He says he should never have run away, but she says tells him that she didn’t make it easy. He says there’s something he has to do before he gets pushed to another portal. He takes out the ring and proposes. He says he’ll always be by her side. She says no. Just kidding. She says yes, and they kiss. He puts the ring on her finger. He says it’s time he faced her father, but David is asleep. Emma explains that they went into a sleeping curse so she could save him.

Regina says there might be another way, but it’s risky.

Everyone gathers together. Regina says once Snow and Charming had a chance to find their own happiness, they chose the good of everyone there. She wants the people to do something for them now. She shows them a chalice, and says if they share the curse, they might dilute its power. Hook takes a sip; then Regina and Emma. The chalice is passed around. Grumpy says he could use a nap. These people are taking some pretty big sips. It must be an endless cup.

Snow and David’s eyes open. They hug and kiss. He says she did it, and she says she didn’t do anything. They find Hook and Emma asleep, but they slowly wake up, along with everyone else. Hook asks if Emma told David his secret. David says Hook is a changed man now, and they’ve all seen it, and everyone is all happy. Regina says it wouldn’t have worked if Snow hadn’t inspired them – she gave up her family. Snow says she did it for a better one, and they’ll defeat the Black Fairy. She tells Emma that she won’t be facing the fairy alone.

Gold meets the Black Fairy. He asks why she gave the dagger back to him. She tells him that he has to choose to be part of this family. He says she has Gideon’s heart, and tells her about Gideon keeping the flower alive as a way of resisting her. He has his mother in him. Gold says he’ll get Gideon’s heart back. The Black Fairy tells him that if he comes at her, there might be nothing left of the town when they’re done. He says he’s willing to pay that price.

Next time, Zelena isn’t afraid of the Black Fairy and vows to kills her, and an ultimate sacrifice will be made.

💣 Suicide Squad

Although I’d wanted to see Suicide Squad in the movies, it never happened. I really shouldn’t complain, since I have 500+ FIOS channels that I pay dearly for, and probably should watch something other than BRAVO. From what I’d read, this film was panned by the critics, but I enjoyed it a lot.

As a kid, I read both the Superman and Batman comics, as well as some other random ones. Doom Patrol was, and remains, my favorite. By the time these characters came along, my comic reading days were long gone. Out of the Squad members, Harley Quinn got high marks, as she brought to mind another favorite from back in the day, Batman’s Poison Ivy. When my friends and I used to act out our comic books – what do you expect from someone who started The Rocky Horror Picture Show cult? – I was always Poison Ivy. Since I’m not part of today’s comic scene, I had no expectations, which might have made a difference in my perception. I had no reference material to compare this with.

The plot was okay. It dragged in spots, and the whole Enchantress business isn’t exactly my thing, but while plot can be a plus, that’s not my reason for watching an action picture. I’m there for the action, colorful characters, and maybe a few good one-liners. On that, the movie delivered.

I also liked the subplot of Deadshot’s relationship with his daughter, and thought Will Smith’s performance was excellent. The costumes, the explosions, the effects – it was all good. And the soundtrack was fabulous. There was a lot of noise about the Joker not being in it all that much, compared to his presence in the previews, but I thought it was just enough. Jared Leto’s portrayal was so over-the-top, any more of it would have been overkill. I’d also heard that he took his Joker persona into his off-time on set, which gave it an extra eww! for me, since I find actors who do that rather creepy.

It’s on rotation on HBO now. If you’re paying for it, might as well watch it. It’s a lot of fun and you could do worse.

🏛 On tonight’s The Real Housewives of Potomac, the ladies went to the Preakness, and of course wore hats. I went to the Belmont Stakes once. I’d never been to the racetrack before, and was surprised that a race takes about two seconds. I didn’t wear a hat, and I didn’t win anything, except a drunk guy trying to pick me up outside of the ladies room. True story. Ashley is finding out that the restaurant business isn’t as easy as she thought, like every single restaurant owner on Kitchen Nightmares. Charisse is having some renovations done on her house, and I have to admit that I sometimes wonder what it’s like to be wealthy enough to be able to add a “fierce champagne room” to my home.

🍑 The excruciatingly long, four-part The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion has begun. The women all look gorgeous, although I’m not loving Porsha’s dress. It looks like she’s wearing a kimono ten sizes too big for her. A sparkly kimono. Sheree also keeps pulling up the top of her strapless number. Is she wearing She by Sheree? Although dumb as a post, Porsha got my vote for quote of the night: Andy…he’s messy. Out of the mouths of stupid. Things didn’t start escalating until almost the end, when Kandi and Porsha started to get into it. Most of the show was nonsense talk, but it looks like Porsha will be the one walking off this reunion. Probably not next week. I’m guessing that’s the carrot being dangled to get us to watch all four parts.

Apr10

April 9, 2017 – Gearing Up for a Black Fairy Battle & Are You Wives or Shade Trees?

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

The Black Fairy carries a baby through the clouds. She lands in a coal mine. She tells a woman that this one isn’t for the mine. He’s to be cared for as though he was hers. (Or she could have said, it is mine. BA-DUM-CHH!) She tells baby Gideon that he won’t be needing the book any more, and tosses it aside.

In Storybrooke, Gideon tells Emma they’ll destroy the Black Fairy together. It’s impossible for Hook to return without her helping him. She knocks him down with some magic, and says if he doesn’t bring Hook back, she’ll make him do it. Gideon says she doesn’t frighten him; nothing does. She has no idea what he’s been through, being raised by the Black Fairy. He says that there are many waiting for him to protect them, and he’s very far from the bad guy. They have a common cause, whether she realizes it or not. He disappears, poof! in a puff of amber smoke.

Back in Gideon’s childhood days, the children the Black Fairy has imprisoned are being read to by Gideon. He says as long as he’s around, they’ll be safe from her. The Black Fairy enters, wishing them sweet dreams. She has a special bedtime story for Gideon, but she says that she sees he already has one, and takes the book from him. He says his real mother gave it to him, but she says she’s his real mother. Gideon says she’s not, and never will be. She says just because his mother was a hero, doesn’t make him one, and she’s going to show him exactly who he is.

She drags one of the children out of a cell. She tells him that if he wants to be a hero, to show her. The child cries to Gideon for help, but he does nothing. The Black Fairy calls him a coward, and says he has much to learn – from her.

In the present, Emma tells Gold that she has questions and she wants answers. She tells him that his son has a death wish. He banished Hook and wants her to help kill the Black Fairy. Gold explains that the Black Fairy is his mother. Belle says he wasn’t born evil; the Black Fairy made him this way. Gold says that’s not the only reason to save him, and that destroying the Black Fairy will save all of them. At present, she can only break out of her realm long enough to steal more children, but If she breaks free from her realm for good, it will be a disaster. He tells Emma that all of the darkness she’s ever faced comes from the Black Fairy, and if she isn’t destroyed, they’re doomed.

Regina works at the cauldron. She tells Henry that casting a curse is one thing, but breaking it’s another. Henry tells her that if anyone can break her own curse, it’s her. She says she’s undone everything, except the big one. She asks if Henry can go pick up some tongue of newt – not the eye. Henry suddenly starts writing furiously in some kind of code, and cataracts cover his eyes.

Some time ago, Gideon asks the Black Fairy what she wants. She says it’s his 28th birthday. She thought they should celebrate, since he’s grown into a strong, loyal son, and his magic has blossomed. She can’t find the key to her vault, and tells him it was stolen. She instructs him to go to the mines, find out who’s responsible, and make them pay. She puts something that looks like a dog whistle around his neck, and he goes.

Moving forward, Emma goes to the clock tower. She tells Gideon that he reminds her of Henry when he first needed her help. She asks for the sword, and he gives it to her. She says they have a deal, and let’s get her pirate back.

In another realm, Hook goes into a bar (not the start of a joke), and dumps out a load of gems on the card table. Blackbeard says he’s interrupting the game, and draws his sword. Hook says he needs a magic bean, and these are the finest gems from Agrabah. He has one more thing to offer. Blackbeard hasn’t had a vessel since he lost the Jolly Roger, and Hook asks, what’s a pirate without a ship? He suggests playing a hand of cards for the ship. Everyone gets out of the way, and Hook sits down.

Right now, Gideon takes Emma to the sorcerer’s mansion. Emma says extreme magic isn’t like hailing a cab, but Gideon says she has him. He zaps them both inside, and tells her to arrange the ingredients that are on the table. She lights a candle, and he hands her the napkin that has her tears on it. A huge claw comes bursting through the door, followed by a giant spider. Gideon says it’s a message. I guess the Black Fairy hasn’t heard about texting. They throw bolts of magic at the spider, and Emma tells Gideon to run. Since I’m not afraid of spiders, this has never been my horror thing, but as spiders go, this one is pretty scary.

Back at the mines, Gideon tells everyone to gather around. He says his mother has been generous to them, and one of them has stolen the key from her. If it’s returned now, they’ll only face his wrath. He says with just a bit of magic, he can turn them into vermin. He pulls a kid out, and another one steps forward, saying it was him. He asks if Gideon remembers him. He reminds Gideon that he once read to him, but Gideon says he has no choice. The kid says he had no choice then, but he has a choice now; he knows his old friend is still in there. He tells Gideon to be the hero that he was meant to be, and help defeat the Black Fairy.

In the Storybrooke realm, the spider shoots webs on everything. Gideon says Emma’s magic is the only one strong enough to get into the Black Fairy’s realm. Webs are going everywhere, and they jet.

Sliding sideways, Blackbeard asks Hook what’s so important. Hook says the woman he loves is in danger. Blackbeard thinks maybe he should have kept the ship, and shows his hand, which I guess is a good one, but I don’t play cards. I could barely remember the high-scoring roles of the dice in Yahtzee when I went through a Yahtzee phase. Blackbeard tells Hook that it’s time to pay up. They go to the docks, but Hook says he forgot to mention that the ship is in the realm where Emma is, and he’ll have to give him the bean to get there. He also tells Blackbeard that he saw the six aces in his deck. Blackbeard says well played, but he’s coming along.

In the here and now, Regina asks Henry what the writing is about, but he doesn’t know. He asks why this happened, but Regina has no answers. She does know someone who might though. They go to a hospital. Emma says if Henry’s problem is being the author, they should ask the last one. She says hello to Isaac, and says they need to talk.

Isaac says he’s heard of this happening, but it never happened to him. He doesn’t think what he did was enough to get him locked up, and Regina says that he tried to kill them all. He says a writer needs motivation and inspiration. He wants out and a sports car; he wants to go back to the Big Apple. She suggests she drive a sports car over his head. He repeats that he wants freedom, a sports car, New York City, and because she’s being a pain, Hamilton tickets. I literally LOL. He says Henry’s writing is taking over, and he’s more powerful than he realizes. It’s only going to get worse, and Henry could end up in the cell next door.

Gideon and Emma run from the spider. He tells her she should leave, but she’s staying to help him.

Back in the mines, the kid asks where Gideon is taking him. Gideon explains that the reason the Black Fairy is collecting dust in the mine, is that she’s obsessed with perfecting the Dark Curse. Gideon asks what happened after he left, and the kid says it’s better left unsaid. Gideon apologizes, and says he regrets his weakness every day. The kid says they were children, but now they must stop her before it’s too late. The Savior can help them. He’s heard rumors of a crystal ball that can help them communicate across realms.

In the present day sorcerer’s mansion, the spider is squirting webs all over, and they’re covering everything. Emma and Gideon can’t leave the house. Emma gets stuck in a web, and Gideon takes the sword. He says once she’s dead, he can use the sword to channel the powers to another realm. The spider blocks the door. Gideon tells Emma that Hook’s return is impossible, and says he told her to walk away. He disappears, poof! in a puff of ocher smoke.

In whatever realm they landed, Blackbeard asks Hook where the Jolly Roger is, but Hook says it’s not his realm; something went wrong. He says whatever dark magic banished him, must have kept him from getting back. They hear whooping in the distance. Hook thinks he knows what it is. The Lost Boys. They’re in Neverland. The Lost Boys come after them, and they run.

Back to today, Emma struggles against the web. The spider screeches. Emma breaks free, but the spider binds her in a web cocoon. She gasps for air. In the clock tower, the sword is aglow. Gideon slices the air with it, and opens a portal. Emma is pulled toward the spider. The portal door in the clock tower starts to fizzle out, the spider suddenly backs off of Emma, and Gold appears. He wakes Emma, the magic withdraws from the sword. Emma and Gold make the spider tiny, and Emma steps on it. Too bad things don’t work that way IRL. Gold asks where Gideon is. Emma says he tried to kill her, and she’s sorry, but he can’t be saved; he’s evil.

The kid and Gideon look for the orb in a magic fish tank. Gideon pulls it out, and the kid (sorry, didn’t catch his name and figure he’s dispensable, so he’s been dubbed “the kid”) thanks him. The orb shatters, and the Black Fairy appears. She says she led them here, just like she led Gideon’s friend to the key. Gideon says it was a test. She says he was supposed to be different; he was a gift. She says his parents abandoned him, but she shared everything with him, and this is how he repays her. She’s disappointed in him. He says he should have stood up to her years ago. He’s not letting her do something terrible; the people have suffered long enough. Her lackeys grab the kid, and Gideon smacks her. She says there are many ways to hurt a person. She turns the kid into a spider, and she steps on him. She says Gideon could have saved him eons ago, but didn’t, so this is on him – and her boot. Okay, that was good. He calls her a monster. He says he’ll find the Savior and the Savior will destroy her. The Black Fairy says she knows all about the Savor, and has plans for her, just like she has plans for him. She takes his heart, and says now he’s hers in every way. He’ll do whatever she says. He’ll find the Savior and kill her. When the Savior dies, the sword will free her from her prison.

In Neverland, Blackbeard says that he thought Pan was dead. Hook says he is, and the Lost Boys took over. They get to the shore, and Blackbeard knocks Hook out. There’s a single canoe, and he makes a run for it. He tells Hook to enjoy his stay, adding, we’re pirates, what did you expect? He reminds Hook that he still owes him the ship. Uh-oh, here come the Lost Boys bearing torches.

Snow and Belle meet with Gold and Emma. Emma explains what happened, and tells them that Gideon is evil. Gold says he needs help. She says he needs to take responsibility for his actions, and Gold says he’ll do what he can to stop Gideon from being harmed. Snow says that they didn’t start this fight. Emma suggests they go home.

Belle tells Gold that Gideon is ripping them apart. He’s only been there a few days, and already caused all kinds of destruction. She thinks Emma is right, but Gold says he’s with the two of them now, and the Black Fairy’s damage is over.

In the clock tower, Gideon says that the Black Fairy’s plan failed. The Savior survived.

The Black Fairy appears – no poofing, no smoke. Gideon says the portal closed, but the Black Fairy says that as Emma’s life ebbed away, the portal opened just enough for her to slip through. She tells him he played his part to the hilt, and he says that he had no choice. She says a part of him wanted to help her, part of him always does. He says of course. She says good, because they have much to do.

Isaac tells Regina that he wanted sports car, and wouldn’t drive this to a Ping-Pong tournament. This, is a station wagon. He supposes the Hamilton tickets are a no, and says nobody’s magic is that powerful. Very funny dialogue tonight. Isaac suggests that they follow him. He tells her that if she wants to know what’s going on, to take a look at the book. Henry says it’s the final chapter, and Isaac says, end of story. Henry asks what happens to the Savior, and Isaac says she fights the final battle – and nobody wants to be around to see that. He drives away into the night.

Next time, the Black Fairy squares off with Emma, history will be rewritten and the past will be altered, everyone could be trapped forever, and Snow and David must decide whether or not Emma will be born.

💀 Yeah, now that The Walking Dead finally reeled me back in, the season is over.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta some of the ladies continue to act like children, mostly Phaedra and Porsha. Phaedra blows my mind, because she’s beyond shady; she’s downright nasty. She’s constantly after Kandi – I guess because she and Todd are friends with Apollo – but she never ceases to top herself. Now she’s involved in a lawsuit against Kandi by one of Kandi’s ex-employees. Bleh. Although when Kandi said that Phaedra was like Geppetto with a bunch of Pinocchios around her, I nearly fell off my chair, laughing. There was a party to unveil Chateau Sheree, and I have to say, both the party and house were very cool. Even if the house does have an unfinished basement, which Kenya made sure that we knew. Kim Zolciak Biermann made an appearance (is NeNe far behind?), and we had a fun flashback down Memory Lane, including the time Sheree tried to pull Kim’s wig off in the middle of the street. Good times… Kim and Kenya had an argument, and as usual, Porsha was falling out of her clothes. She also thinks her deceased father would be proud of her. For what? Assault charges, or not knowing that the Underground Railroad is not a real railroad? Cynthia tried to ditch Peter for the millionth time, so not much going on there. This was the finale, but the only interesting ending blurb was that Kandi wrote Ed Sheeran‘s recent hit, Shape of You. The reunion looks like it should be a doozie.

🍷 So far, The Real Housewives of Potomac is a bit of a snooze. Katie had her casino night, and everyone seemed way overdressed for the venue, which looked like a Holiday Inn meeting room. The night included a performance of the strangest tribute to the Jackson Five, or tribute to Michael Jackson (okay, I wasn’t paying attention, but it was a Jackson tribute), that I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen a lot of them. Or any really. It was a trio of dudes who looked and sounded like an act out of a high school middle school talent show. I honestly didn’t know what to make of it. We were introduced to new girl, Monique, whose husband is with the NFL. Maybe she’ll breathe some life into this already stale group.

🙌 And this goes for every other day of the week too…

MondayAwesome

Apr3

April 3, 2017 – Agrabah is Found, Rick is Found Out & a Coupla Wives Notes

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

I’m not sure why, but I almost typed One Day at a Time. I must be having 70s TV flashbacks.

David paces as he processes that Hook killed his father. Emma tells him that she and Hook had a fight, and Hook left town.

The Nautilus speeds through the ocean. It goes out of control, and the crew is tossed all over the place. Nemo says they portalled into another realm. Hook says they have to go back to Storybrooke, but they need Kraken blood and Gideon used the last of it. I hate when that happens. Hook says they’re going hunting.

Jasmine and Aladdin are still looking for Agrabah. Aladdin insists it’s not there in the Enchanted Forest. He thinks they should just make a new home in Storybrooke, but Jasmine says sorry, she can’t. He tries to kiss her, and it’s a no. A ring falls out of her pocket, and she thinks the wish gave her a reminder of how she’s failed. She knows what she has to do.

Many years ago, in Agrabah, Jasmine’s father is offering a dowry, but she says there will be no engagement today. The king says he knows she wants to marry for love, but she has to think of duty; she needs a prince with an army. She says she’s already found a prince – Aladdin. Jafar pops in and says that Aladdin is a loser. He takes out a vial of sand, and tosses some of it at a potential suitor. He disappears, poof! in a puff of burgundy smoke. Jafar says the only way to save the kingdom is for Jasmine to marry him, but she says that’s not happening. He says if she doesn’t marry him by sundown, Agrabah will be destroyed.

In present time, Aladdin and Jasmine row across a lake. He reminds her that they can’t swim. Giant tentacles come out of the water, and they bat at them with the oars. You wouldn’t think this would be very effective, but an oar gets stuck in the creature’s mouth and it disappears. Hook rises out of the water on the Nautilus. He tells them to climb aboard before they get themselves killed.

David and Emma are interrupted by Regina who suggests that she, Emma and Snow have a ladies’ night out. I guess the curse is still going on because David goes home to trade places with Snow. Regina hears me and says she’s working on it.

Hook tells Jasmine and Aladdin that now he has no way to get back home, so thanks a lot. He says they could give him one of their wishes, but Aladdin says it won’t work. Jasmine says Jafar took Agrabah, but she can’t face him again. He took everything she cared about, and she’s afraid of him. She says they can’t find him anyway, but Hook says that’s not true; Jafar has revenge in his heart. He’s heard Jafar is handy with traveling between realms, and with any luck, they can all get back home. He tells Jasmine that she doesn’t have to face him alone this time. She says perhaps Agrabah has found its hero.

Emma goes through a box of treasures, and takes out a ring on a chain. Henry asks if she’s okay. Her phone rings, and she says she’s on her way. She tells Henry they’ll talk later.

Emma goes to the bar, Aesop’s Fables, and meets Regina and Snow, who tricked her into coming. Snow suggests she try an artisanal drink.

Jasmine asks if it helps Hook to stare at the sea. He says he never thought he’d live anywhere else, but every moment he stays there is killing him. He says it’s tough when the person you love doesn’t know how you feel. She agrees, and says she’s made some terrible mistakes in failing her people. She doesn’t think she deserves love. Hook says he was like that, and realized that hiding behind the guilt is the coward’s way. Jasmine says maybe she’s always been a coward.

Back in the day, Jasmine strolls through the market. A man chases a thief. She runs after them, thinking it’s Aladdin. The man takes the thief’s necklace, thinking he’s getting a bonus, and the thief turns into mermaid Ariel. Jasmine tells the man to give the necklace back to her and get lost. She gives the necklace back to Ariel, who says she didn’t have to do that. Jasmine says Agrabah is her city, and she doesn’t like guests treated poorly. I guess we’re ignoring the fact that Ariel stole something to begin with. Ariel says she’s’ looking for a prince. Jasmine asks if he has an army, and Ariel says he has a navy. Jasmine asks if she’s afraid of heights.

Jasmine and Ariel fly around on a magic carpet. Ariel looks through a small telescope, and sees her prince’s flag. Jasmine says let’s find him and save the city.

On the Nautilus, Aladdin asks Hook where Jasmine is, but Hook tells him he needs to concentrate on the maps he’s reading. Aladdin acts like he’s in middle school, asking Hook if he thinks Jasmine likes him. Hook repeats that he has to focus, but suddenly, the Nautilus is jarred. Nemo enters, saying that the Kraken’s damage was worse than they thought, and they’re taking on water. Hook says they’ve stalled. Jasmine joins them, and holds out the lamp. She says she wants to go to the island. They all disappear. No poof! or smoke or anything though.

Regina asks Emma how she feels. Snow calls out some Vikings for leaving the bar without paying. She has a wager; they play darts, and the loser pays both tabs. Emma says she knows Regina wants her to open up, but she’d rather be distracted, and this is a good one.

Aladdin wonders what the price for the wish will be. Hook has to leave, and says good-by to his brother and Nemo. He, Aladdin, and Jasmine leave to find Jafar. They’re led to a hut in the forest, and Hook says he didn’t think that Jafar would be in an off-season tiki bar. Aladdin says it looks like a museum, and Jasmine wonders who needs so many corkscrews. Hook explains the frustration of a cork not coming out of the bottle correctly. Jasmine picks up a vial of red sand that she’s seen before. They think they’re in Jafar’s lair, but it’s Ariel walks in. She tells them welcome to Hangman’s Island. She says she and Jasmine go way back, and Jasmine says she needs Ariel’s help again.

Way back when, the carpet lands. Ariel thinks Eric won’t remember her, but Jasmine says if she misses another chance, shell regret it forever. She says Ariel comes from a world that’s all water, and now she’s in the desert being all strong; she deserves whatever her heart desires.

Jasmine goes into a tent and sees Eric. He thought she changed her mind, but she says she was just scared. She tells him that she hopes he can accept her for who she is, or at least who she is in the water. He says he was bored with regular girls, and he has a love for her people, especially poached with capers. We’re all like, did he just say what we thought he did? and he turns into Jafar. Jasmine says he’s not her hero, but Jafar says it looks like he’s coming to her aid. He tells her time has run out, and she’s going to marry him.

Moving forward, Hook suggests they set the genie free if he gives them what they want. Jasmine can’t believe she’s going to face Jafar on purpose. He appears, poof! in a puff of khaki smoke. He thanks them for his freedom, and knocks everyone out except Jasmine. He wonders if things will work out better for her this time.

Ariel is up and around again, and Jasmine thinks they should look for someone with the heart of hero. Ariel says she stole something she thinks is magic. Jasmine says it’s a weapon, and it’s terrible. Ariel says she can do this. Jafar says he needs an answer. He poofs Ariel back to the sea, and threatens to destroy Agrabah. Jasmine says for the good of Agrabah, she’ll be his wife. He tells her that this is the moment she truly fails her people. He didn’t want to marry her or rule that grimy place. He says they loath him, and he’ll wipe them off the face of the earth. She says that she gave him the ring so that he wouldn’t harm them. He says if she’d stayed strong, he wouldn’t have been able to harm them, but thanks to her weakness, he can. He says he’s taking it beyond mankind’s grasp. Agrabah disappears.

Jasmine says Jafar has already taken everything. He says he has no more business with her, but with the ones who trapped him. He tells her to bring better people next time. She says they’re all heroes, and they think she is too. She asks where Agrabah is. Jafar says the answer amuses him, and he wonders why she can’t see it’s at her fingertips. She says the first wish worked, and she sees a tiny Agrabah in the ring. Jafar says it’s as she left it, except smaller. He asks for the ring, but she won’t give it to him. She holds up the vial, and asks if it looks familiar. He tries to take the ring, and she throws the vial at him, and he disappears poof! in a puff of magenta smoke. When the smoke clears, he’s a walking stick.

Meanwhile, back at the bar, Aesop the bartender (although he prefers mixologist) gives Emma some drink ideas. He talks about story writing and lost love, and she relates. She thought Hook would stick through things no matter what, but when things got tough, he took off. Aesop gives her a napkin to dry her tears. She tells Snow and Regina that she needs to move on.

Jasmine tells Hook she’s sorry she couldn’t help him get home. He says maybe someone in Agrabah can. She explains that it’s in the ring. He asks if she doesn’t want to use the last wish to bring it back. She says if she was to use it, it would be to free Aladdin. Her father told her that duty comes before love, but she finally realized that the way to get Agrabah back is the kind of magic thatc ould break any curse. She kisses Aladdin, and poof! the city returns. Hook is impressed. Aladdin calls Jasmine a hero.

Hook takes out the Jafar stick. Ariel says she’s sure he’ll find someone to help him. She gives him a shell, and says they can get a signal to Storybrooke if someone is there to pick it up. He says he has one just like it at home.

Emma gets back and hears a rumbling from her treasure box. It’s Hook calling shell to shell. He says he didn’t mean to leave, and Gideon sent him away. He’d never leave her, but Gideon wanted him out of the way. He’s trying to get home, and won’t stop until he does. He loves her. She says she loves him too, but he doesn’t hear it.

Aesop walks up to Emma with the napkin in his hand, saying that as long as he holds the tears of the Savior, Hook can’t hear her. She should be careful where she leaves them. Emma says he’s not Aesop, and sure enough, he turns into Gideon. He tells her that he needs her help. She says not in a helping mood. He says love makes us do things we didn’t know possible, and Hook will stay where he is unless she helps him.

She has to do the one thing he could never do – kill the Black Fairy.

Next time, Emma says she won’t help Gideon, Gold says all darkness comes from the Black Fairy, and we go back to Neverland where there’s a giant spider!

The Walking Dead

♫ Easy street! ♫ Just kidding. Sasha listens to some blues on an iPod. She hears someone tell her to wake up. It’s Abe. They kiss. He says he’s all kinds of glad to see her. She asks if he’s back, and he says not yet. He tells her that Maggie is in trouble. She tells him not to go.

IRL, Negan tells Sasha welcome to the first day of the rest of her life, and bears some food. He says she’s going to help him get things back on track. He says he doesn’t want to see her die, so she doesn’t have to. Someone does, but not her. They’re going to help solve some sh*t. He gives her pancakes with a smiley face in berries on them. She asks what he needs from her.

Rick asks Dwight why, and he says he wants it stopped; he wants Negan dead, adding that they’re all Negan. Tara says the girl he murdered had a name. Her name was Denise, and she was a doctor who helped people. He says he wasn’t aiming for her. Daryl grabs him, and puts a knife in his face. Dwight tells him go ahead. Michonne doesn’t think they can trust him. Dwight says what he did, he was doing for someone else. Now he’s here, and so is Daryl, because of her. Tara encourages Daryl to kill Dwight, but Dwight says if they work together, they can stop them. Daryl knows he’s not lying. Daryl pulls back with the knife.

Rosita says they have Sasha. She doesn’t trust Dwight, but trusts Daryl. Rick says Negan is coming tomorrow. Dwight says he can slow them down by blocking the road with some trees, and buy time for them to get ready. If they can take them out, that’s where they start. He’ll radio back to the Sanctuary where Negan lives, telling them everything is okay. They drive the trucks back, get the workers on their side, go from outpost to outpost, and build an army.

Daryl tells Rick that if Dwight is lying, he’ll kill him slow. Rick says if he’s lying, this is already over.

In the alternate reality, Abe tells Sasha that he has to go. She tells him she had a dream that he died.

Negan tells Sasha that’s the plan. When she comes out, they’ll stand down, if they haven’t already. Lucille will have her say, and they’ll move forward with a new understanding. Sasha sheds a tear, and he asks if that’s for real. She says no one has to die, and he says you can’t do anything without punishment; it’s how they built everything they have. She repeats that no one has to die. Negan suggests just one then. He was going to pull three out, but just one and just for her. She agrees. Negan says she has him wrapped around her finger, and if she had a d*ck, he’d still feel the same way.

Maggie says they don’t have Oceanside, but they have the guns. She doesn’t trust Dwight. She says if Negan figures things out, they’ll need help. Jesus says it’s a tough decision, but he’s glad she’s the one making it. Enid gives her the pocket watch that Maggie’s father gave to Glenn.

Carol and some of the Kingdom knights come across a blockade of shopping carts, and Morgan wandering around. Carol asks if he wants to ambush them on his own. She says if he kills anyone, they might lose their advantage. Ezekiel asks if he seeks to extinguish everything he was. Morgan says he doesn’t seek it, but he’s stuck. Ezekiel asks if he wants the Saviors dead. He does. Ezekiel says that the Saviors are a dragon with many heads, and they have to seek allies. He asks Morgan to join them. He asks if Morgan wears Ben’s breastplate to honor him or for himself. He tells Morgan to fight with them; the Saviors will be defeated, so no one will suffer under them again. Ezekiel, Shiva/Sheba/Shoo-be-doo-be-doo, and the others move ahead. Morgan follows.

Rick and company roll out with a bunch of trucks and bicycles. The Scavengers are with them. Jadis asks Michonne if Rick is hers. Michonne thinks they should get back to work. Stupidest. Scene. Ever. And Jadis is not understandable half the time.

Aaron, Daryl, and Rosita put together some bombs.

Negan and his dudes find the tree blockade. Eugene asks if he could have the opportunity to slow their jets and cool their roll [sic].

The Alexandrians prepare for battle along with the Scavengers. One of the Scavenger chicks says “we win” to Michonne, because they talk like three-year-olds.

Sasha listens to more music, and says you know how this is gonna end. Abe tells her they’re going to walk out the door together, kick sh*t, and eat snakes. She wants to sit this one out. She tells him they were at the beach and he got pulled under. He didn’t come back up, and she was trying to find him, but he was gone and she started to drown. He says he hates the beach, and talks about getting sand where it shouldn’t be. I relate. He tells her, lets go help Maggie. Sasha says just once sit one out. She says Maggie’s gotta take care of Maggie.

Eugene says Sasha must have changed her mind about dying. He tells her she’ll adjust, but she says she’s not like him. He says if people die today it’s because of the choices they’ve made.

There are intermittent scenes of Sash and Maggie sitting on a wall. I’m sure they’ll be significant later. Sasha asks Maggie why they’re there.

The lookout alerts Rick. Rick tells Rosita to get in position and he’ll signal. They wait. They hear Eugene over the bullhorn saying all points are covered. He gets out of the truck, and says hello to Rick through the bullhorn, and I laugh because he’s not that far from Rick at this point. Eugene says the bottom line is they might die, but he hopes not. He says the jig is up, and asks if Rick will comply. Jadis looks at Rick. Rick asks where Negan is. Eugene says he’s Negan. I understand the face rick makes. Sort of amused and disgusted at the same time. He gives the signal, Rosita presses the button, everyone ducks, and nothing happens. The Scavengers aim guns at the Alexandirans and open the gate. Bastards!

Dwight comes out of the truck with Negan. The actual Negan. I guess we don’t know if he was sincere or not. Jadis holds a gun on Rick. Michonne sees what’s going on, and that same Scavenger chick says,” we win” again. Well, sh*t.

Negan asks if he’s heard the one about the guy named Rick who thought he knew sh*t, but didn’t, and got everyone killed. Rick says he and Jadis had a deal, but she says she got a better one. Negan says he’s pushed, pushed, and pushed him. He just tried to blow them up. He says Eugene is one of his, and he stepped up. They’re a bunch of animals. The universe gives them a sign, and Rick shoves his finger up its ass. Negan certainly has a way with words. He tells Dwight and Simon, chop-chop.

They uncover a coffin. Everyone is like wth? They stand the coffin up. Negan says they must like Sasha, and so does he. He has her there, packaged for their convenience, alive and well. He brought her, so he wouldn’t have to kill all of them, but that might be complicated. He wants all their guns, every one of them, and a person of their own choosing for Lucille. He also wants Daryl back. And the pool table. Or Sasha dies. And then all of them. He says just because he brought Sasha in a casket, doesn’t mean she has to leave in it. He tells Rick that he sucks. Rick asks to see Sasha.

Negan opens the casket saying she’s not going to believe this.

Sasha tells Abe it felt real. Like they lost, but it’s just starting. He kisses her. He tells her to come on, and she says wait. He says he likes the way she calls bullsh*t, so let him return the favor. She’s going to tell him to stay and she’ll go. She wants to make up for what she said about Maggie. He tells her it’s always for someone else, and if they’re going to kick, there had better be a point to it. No matter where they are, Maggie is carrying the future. Sasha tells him that he’s right. He says putting yourself on the line for someone else, oh my, that is living. She laughs. They leave together.

We backtrack to before Sasha got in the coffin. Eugene walks out with Sasha. He says they could be watching the roads. He gives her an iPod, saying he wished he measured up. She says he still can, and she hasn’t given up on him. Sasha tells Negan that she can use a nap, and just give her a bottle of water. He says he knows this is tough, and appreciates it. She gets in the coffin, and he tells her that she’s something else.

Sasha looks at something – I couldn’t see what it was – and listens to the music. She takes the pill that Eugene gave her.

Negan opens the coffin and it’s zombie Sasha! She goes after Negan, and all hell breaks loose with everyone running around and shooting. Michonne and the Scavenger fight. Rosita is shot, but Tara gets her out of there. Jadis holds a gun on Rick. Sasha continues to try and bite Negan’s face off. Someone pulls her off of him, so she bites that guy’s face off. Rick tells Jadis they can make another deal, and she answers by shooting him, and then pushing him off him off the platform they’re standing on.

More shooting. Michonne is getting her head bashed in, and Jadis has Rick hostage. All kinds of dead people are lying around, who are going to be zombies any second. Jadis acts like a big a-hole, pushing Rick around. She brings him to Negan.

Michonne pushes a broken piece of pottery into the Scavenger’s neck. Jadis tells Rick to get down on his knees, and puts him next to Carl. Negan says that RIck had to go with these filthy garbage people, no offense. He and Jadis look at each other, and she says something stupid. He tells Rick that this is going to make him sad and wish he was dead. Negan says, he’d want a kid like Rick’s, which makes this harder. He tells Carl it’s over. Michonne continues to fight with Scavenger. Rick looks around, and sees someone fall from a balcony, thinking it’s Michonne. I highly doubt Carl is a goner. There will be huge protests of Tiger Beat readers. Is that still a magazine?

Negan says that Rick just lost someone important, and he chose this. This isn’t a warning now, it’s punishment. He’s going to kill Carl with one nice hard swing because he likes him. Then Lucille is going to take Rick’s hands. Rick says he can take his hands, but he already told him he’s going to kill him; maybe not today or tomorrow, but nothing is going to change that. Nothing. He’s already dead. Negan twitches a little. Then smiles. He says, damn, wow, okay.

Negan goes to take a swing at Carl’s head, when Shiva comes out of nowhere, knocking him sideways. I applaud. Here comes Ezekiel with the troops. He says Alexandria will not fall; not on this day. Shiva eats Negan, or somebody. Horses and knights and guns, oh my! Nope, the tiger didn’t eat Negan. Morgan joins in the fray. Negan runs out of bullets. Shiva gets busy flattening people. This is really good!. It also comes to my attention that Jadis has highlights, which seems odd for a garbage person, but also reminds me that I need a hair appointment.

The Scavengers throw Molotov cocktails using soda cans. Everyone runs. The smoke begins to clear. Ezekiel says we finish this, and some of them run after the Saviors. Maggie is there too. Negan gives the finger as they drive away. Ha-ha! The gate closes. The Saviors are gone – for now.

Rick finds the Scavenger who had been fighting with Michonne dead on the ground. Michonne is all bloody, but alive. Rick is pretty happy about that. She says, we, we, we, and Rick says, we are, we will, and kisses the one spot that isn’t bruised. Michonne, Rick, and Carl form a tableau.

Back at Neganland, Negan looks at Eugene, wondering how Sasha ended up dead. Eugene thinks she ran out of air. Negan gets close to his face and says, maybe. He announces that they’re going to war, and everyone goes, yeah!

Maggie goes down Memory Lane with Rick, talking about how she made the right decision to come. She says the decision was made a long time ago. They were strangers and now mean the world to each other. She says Glenn didn’t know them, but put himself in danger for them, and that started it all from the farm to the prison to Alexandria, to this moment, not as strangers, but as family. As she talks, we see all of the characters interacting with one another. Daryl takes a little carved soldier out of the coffin, which I assume was what Sasha had been looking at. It says didn’t know on the back of it. Neither do I. Maggie says that because Glenn chose to be with him on that day, it was the decision that changed everything. It started with them, and grew; all of them to sacrifice for each other.

We see Maggie and Sasha sitting on the wall, smiling at each other, as Maggie continues. To suffer, to stand, to grieve, to give, to love, to live, to fight for each other. Glenn made the decision; she was just following his lead. We see Glenn’s watch in her hand.

Tonight’s show was in memory of Bernie Wrightson, an original creator of DC’s Swamp Thing, an illustrator, and creator of other wondrous creatures.

The Walking Dead will be back in October.

👠 I saw enough of The Real Housewives of Atlanta to see Phaedra get “Porshafied,” which apparently means wearing a wig and having your bosoms fall out of your dress. Another thing I caught was Sheree and Kenya bonding. The sad part was how they were relating over the aggressiveness of the men in their lives.

🏛 The jury is still out for the new season of The Real Housewives of Potomac. I’m just catching it now. For whatever reason, they decided to show triple the Atlanta and wait until the wee hours of the morning to rerun this one. A girl has to sleep sometime.

Mar27

March 26, 2017 – A Happy Ending, an Unhappy Prisoner & a Thought or Two

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 Once Upon a Time

The Evil Queen arrives at a village, looking for Snow White. She wants the villagers to see justice served, and tells the guards to gather them. Her father tells her that she should show mercy, but she says she came for a heart. She finds nothing but straw though. She says someone is going to tell her where Snow went. She tells them that Snow doesn’t love them; she does. Tinkerbell appears, and says that the Evil Queen doesn’t care about love. She was there when the queen threw her chance at love away. The Evil Queen asks Tinkerbell if she shouldn’t be sleeping in a tulip somewhere, and the fairy says she used pixie dust to show the queen her future and the man she should be with. The queen says nothing dictates what she should do, and Tinkerbell says pixie dust only shows the possibilities; the rest is up to her. The Evil Queen says she’s happy with how things are, but Tinkerbell says she believes she doesn’t deserve love. The Evil Queen says she’ll spare Snow’s life to show that she loves everyone. She tells Tinkerbell that she hopes she enjoyed the show of mercy, since it’s the last. I guess she doesn’t love them that much.

In Storybrooke, the Evil Queen tells Robin that Regina wants to keep her dark side a secret. He says he might have the solution, but she says it’s not New York. He belongs in the realm she created with her wish, but she wants him to steal something first.

They go to a graveyard. Robin asks what this is about. The Evil Queen tells him to stop asking questions and dig.

Snow and Henry look at Emma’s ring. Everyone is happy about the engagement. Henry asks how Hook proposed, but Emma says she didn’t give him a chance. She says that Gideon is still out there, and she has to deal with that. Regina and Zelena join them. Regina tells them the snake got loose, and if she shook off her mortal coil, there’s no telling what evil she might be up to.

Robin asks the Evil Queen if they can’t use magic. She says what fun would that be? Robin unearths a box. It has the shears in it. She tells him that they’re capable of setting someone free of their fate. She’s going to use them to finally separate herself from Regina, and then she can destroy her.

Hook sees Captain Nemo on the docks. The captain says, you can tell the ocean your secrets, but will she tell you hers? ♫ Hi-diddly dee! A pirate’s life for me! ♫ He didn’t sing that; it just popped into my head. It’s time for him to go back to The Nautilus, and he wonders what Hook is going to do with his life. Hook says now that he’s found the woman he wants to marry, his past has caught up to him. He doesn’t get a happy ending. Nemo asks who knows Hook’s secrets, and Hook says only him. Nemo tells him that he must tell Emma the truth or keep it to himself forever. He tells Hook to seek forgiveness, because whatever happened will always stay with him.

The Evil Queen wonders if Henry is looking for the pen that’s in her hand. He’s surprised that she’s managed to de-snake herself. He wants the pen back, but she thinks he’s going to write her out of the story. She says that’s what Regina wants. Henry says there’s good in her like there’s bad in Regina, and that means she can change. He doesn’t know what he was going to do. She finally got her revenge, and is she happy? She says she will be. He asks what she’s planning. She says it’s something that he won’t like, but he’ll realize it’s for the best. She gives him something for Regina, and says no matter what anyone else says, she loves him.

Back in the day, the Evil Queen’s father says they need to talk. She says she knows he’ll say revenge won’t make her happy, but she wants to find out for herself. He says he’s there to help her get it. He talks about how happy she was riding, and she says that’s the day she met Daniel. Her father doesn’t believe that killing Snow will help her, but he thinks he can get her what she wants. He gives her a map that will lead to something that can find Snow.

Forward in Storybrooke, Regina shows the others what the Evil Queen sent to her. It’s a page from the book that’s been ripped out – Robin and Regina kissing, an ending that will never be. The Evil Queen wants her to know that she’ll hurt Robin unless Regina faces her. They think it’s a trap, but she doesn’t want to leave Robin. Henry says maybe he was wrong and the Evil Queen can’t change. Regina wants to go alone; otherwise, she’ll hurt everyone she cares about and she can’t let that happen. The queen is getting what she wants – their fight ends today.

Robin says this wasn’t what he had in mind by wanting the queen to tie him up. He’s bound to a chair, and gets the rope undone, but it’s enchanted rope, so it ties itself again. He says all she’ll do is make a martyr of Regina. He tells her to release him; he doesn’t belong here, and neither does she. He thinks maybe he’s there to save her. She says she doesn’t need saving. He says she could use a place for a fresh start. Regardless, in a town full of heroes, a villain like her doesn’t stand a chance. She says the only one who doesn’t stand a chance is Regina.

In the Enchanted Forest, the Evil Queen’s father leads her to a portal. She says it’s dripping with light magic, and he tells her he found it through Tinkerbell. The Evil Queen says he lied; this wasn’t about getting her revenge. He tells her it’s about getting something better. They go through the portal, and see a statue of Cupid. He tells the queen that it’s Cupid’s arrow; it’s a tool. She can use it to see who loves her most, and use it to find him. The Evil Queen says she thought he was on her side. She says she’s getting what she came for – revenge.

On our side of the border, Hook is about to burn the dreamcatcher in the fireplace, and flashes back to killing David’s father. Emma sees him, and says it was him. He says he tried to tell her, but she found the ring and he didn’t want to ruin the happiness. He says he was a broken man for a long time. She says he was going to burn his memories, and he says he was ashamed and scared he was going to lose everything. She says it’s not easy, but he would have been forgiven. He says he’s destroyed his own family, and he didn’t know how he could live with destroying hers. She tells him that they can’t hide things from each other, and he should know that. That’s why she thought they were together, and when he’s ready for that, they can talk. She gives him back the ring.

Hook finds Captain Nemo, and asks where he’s headed. The captain says destinations never matter, and asks what happened. Hook says the captain gave him good advice, but he didn’t take it. He’s not the man Emma needs him to be, and he has to find that man. The captain once said that the Nautilus could help a man discover who he could be. Nemo says get on board.

Regina goes home, and the Evil Queen shows up, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. She shows Regina the shears and says she’s going to destroy her.

Meanwhile, back at the Cupid statue, the Evil Queen smushes up some flowers, and says now we’re getting somewhere. She’s going to find Snow. Her father says not everyone gets a second chance at love, and this arrow will allow her to gaze on who she loves most. She says there’s a thin line between love and hate, as Martin Lawrence learned in the movie of the same name. The tip of the arrow turns black, and she says that now she can gaze on who she hates the most, Snow White. She shoots the arrow.

Moving on. Regina says it’s always about revenge, and she’s ready. She says the town isn’t big enough for both of them, and the Evil Queen says they finally agree on something. The shears glow, and purple lightening bolts shoot between them. The queen tells Regina, see you on the other side, and cuts the bolts. Regina says, let’s finish this. They both make swords appear and start to duel.

Rewinding, the arrow heads to the castle. The Evil Queen says Snow must know she’s not there, and wants to steal from her. She goes back home, but can’t find Snow. She says the arrow should have led her to gaze on the person she hates most. She sees herself in a mirror and smashes it.

The Storybrooke duel continues. It must be weird fighting with yourself. Says Tyler Durden. Regina throws a disco ball at the Evil Queen. The Evil Queen throws her against the wall. She says Regina has been fooling herself. She’s all that will ever be inside of her. Regina says she’s wrong, and the tree mural wallpaper comes to life, trapping the Evil Queen in its branches. Cool! Regina says what’s inside her is real, and the Evil Queen can’t take it away. She takes the queen’s heart. The queen says she hates her. Regina starts to crush the heart, and sees herself in the mirror and remembers. She says she doesn’t anymore, and releases the queen. She says she’s going to do what they never could – be brave for the both of them and choose love over hate. She takes both of their hearts and puts them together for a moment. She puts the hearts back in their respective owners.

The Evil Queen wonders what’s happening to her. Regina says she gave her some love, and she’s taking back some of their darkness. She’s part of her. They’re part of each other, whether she likes it or not. Regina says she loves herself, and so should the queen. There’s a one-sided hug, and the queen tentatively hugs back.

Regina asks if Robin is okay. The Not-As-Evil-Now Queen says she kept her word, and sent him where he wanted to go. She says Gold was too busy worrying about his son to mind the shop. Regina is sorry she didn’t get to say good-by, but the queen thinks maybe it’s better that way. She asks if Regina regrets not walking into the tavern that day, but Regina can’t imagine a life without Henry and all of her Storybrooke friends. It wasn’t her happy ending, but it gave her hope when she needed it most. The queen says she wouldn’t mind some hope. She not sure what she’s supposed to do. She needs a fresh start but has no clue where that is. Regina thinks she knows who can help.

Henry asks where he should send her, and Regina says where she can start over and have a new life. Emma frets that it’s against the rules to change things. Henry says he’s not supposed to affect those in his book, but she’s not in it. Zelena and Snow are worried she’ll still seek revenge. Snow says she wants to believe in her, but not everyone is redeemable. Regina tells Snow that she’s given the queen what she needs to make the right choices. Zelena says don’t blame her if she wakes up to a crushed heart. The queen says that won’t happen – at least she hopes not. She’s truly sorry, and promises to do the right thing. She’s sorry for what she put Snow through again.

Henry calls the queen “mom,” and she says he never called her that before. They hug. Henry asks for his pen and if she’s ready. As he writes, the queen thanks Regina. Regina tells her to promise she won’t waste a single minute. Henry writes that the Evil Queen went to a place where she got a fresh start, and she disappears into some sparkly lights. They wonder where she went, and Regina has her ideas. I have an idea too – did anyone have her take the curse off of Snow and David?

The queen appears in a tavern. She wonders where she is, and then sees Robin. She sits across from him. He asks if she’s kidnapping him again, and requests to finish his ale first. She says that’s not what she’s doing, and he says her villain plan must not have worked out. She says she’s okay with that, since she had a change of heart (wink-wink). She was wondering if maybe she could buy him a drink. He says it’s his round; he’ll buy her one. They clink glasses.

Back to Storybrooke. Snow finds Hook on the docks. He asks if everything is okay. She says Regina did it – she vanquished the Evil Queen, and gave her a happy ending. She didn’t think it was possible after all these years, but it was. Love can save even the darkest souls. She says Emma told her about the engagement, and she couldn’t be happier. She tells him that Emma waited a long time for someone to share her life with, and Snow is happy it’s him. She leaves, and he looks at the ring. Oh, go on. Tell her.

Emma comes home to a dark house.

Nemo asks if Hook is ready for adventure. Hook says he’s going back to Emma, because even villains get second chances, and hopefully third ones. The Nautilus starts to submerge. The captain says he didn’t give the order. Gideon appears, and says that he did. He tells Hook that for what he has planned, Hook can’t be in Storybrooke. He disappears, poof! in a puff of red smoke. The Nautilus starts to go down into the water as Gideon watches from the docks.

Emma looks out window. She turns out the lights.

Next time, Emma wants to move on, Aladdin is back, and Ariel joins the team.

The Walking Dead

Tara talks about the women she met at Oceanside, and how they have guns. Enid asks Carl if he ever thinks about who he killed. We see the Alexandrians taking boats to the island.

Maggie teaches gardening at Hilltop.

Rick gives Michonne a boost up a tree. She asks when the clock starts, and Rick says as soon as she’s up there. Jesus and Daryl put together a bomb. Jesus says he should have tried harder to stop Rosita and Sasha. Daryl says they can take care of themselves. He knows people have to die.

Sasha has been taken prisoner. A dude asks if she’s okay, and she asks for water. He introduces himself as David. He says last night was a sh*tstorm, and he’s the guy who gave them the rope to tie her up. He says if he gives her water – which he’s not supposed to – will she do something she’s not supposed to for him? He asks how thirsty she is, tearing her shirt, and she tells him to go to hell and headbutts him. He says fighting will just make it last longer. Negan comes by and asks what he’s doing in there. Answering his own question, Negan says he’s trying to rape this woman, and it’s unacceptable behavior. Rape is against the rules there, and he wouldn’t want to be somewhere that was let fly. He takes out a Crocodile Dundee sized knife, and says David crossed the line. David says sorry, and Negan stabs him through the neck, saying he doesn’t accept the apology. He tells the guard to get Sasha a new shirt, and tells her he’s sorry she had to see that. He adds sorry about the rope, but she caused one hell of a fracas.

Negan says he remembers her. She was there, and he gets it now. He tells her that she’s got beach ball sized ladynuts. Ha-ha! The phrases this guy comes up with! He asks if Rick put her up to this. She calls Rick his bitch, and says no. He says that’s not the way it’s going to go; this could be the beginning. He puts the knife in front of her. He says she can use it to take him out, but since he’s above her, holding a baseball bat, that would be a bad idea. She could slit her wrists, but that would be a shame. She could do nothing, and let David eat her face, which would also be a shame. Or she could save herself, and join the cause. He knows what he’d do. He tells her that he’s a man short, and he’d like to harness the heat. She could help him run this place. That’s all it was ever about, and still can be for her. He knows it’s hard to picture, but they all have sh*t to get over. He tells her to think about it. No pressure. He apologizes again. He asks her to understand that they’re not monsters.

Eugene brings supplies to Sasha. He explains the pillow isn’t hypoallergenic. He shares that there was debate about him coming, and was told he’s on his own. He says taking up with the management was indeed the right select for him, and suggests she do the same. He says he was full tilt delusional, thinking he could be brave. Referring to Abe and Glenn, he says to see someone brave get killed like that, and then a repeat, he couldn’t. Being there means he’ll never have to again, and neither will she if she says yes. He says Abe would want her to. Then says, no, he wouldn’t. He does though. Things have changed, and they can change with them. They have to. She tells him to go.

Eugene makes a sad face. He looks at David, and says he’s starting to…and Sasha says go. He leaves, and she looks sad. David starts twitching, and opens his dead eyes. Sasha looks surprised, which surprises me.

Maggie is outside the Hilltop wall, unearthing a tree for transplanting. Gregory joins her, and she says she’s never seen him outside the wall. He asks where her friends are, and she says they’re looking for something they need. He wonders why she’s still there. He says it would be better if they could present a united front, and she says it would be easier if they were a united front. He says she’s right, and he needs to be more forthcoming. She says it’s never too late to change, and if he’s serious, she’ll talk with him later. She asks him to keep watch while she digs out the tree. He has a knife. He gets close to her. He makes a lot of faces, then looks like he has a headache, and doesn’t follow through. He sees a zombie, and Maggie says she’ll do it. He says he’s there to protect the pregnant woman. She asks if he’s done it before, and he says he wouldn’t be there if he hadn’t. He runs up to the zombie, chickens out when he gets close, and then says fine, do it. Yikes! Another one jumps him while Maggie is struggling with the first one. He calls for help, like she doesn’t have enough to do. She stabs zombie one in the head, and then deals with Gregory’s zombie. He pukes. Some guys are walking by, and stop to look at them. Maggie says he hasn’t killed one before; he’s learning. One of the guys says that’s not what he told them. Gregory thanks her.

On the island, everything is all idyllic. Tara is waiting for Tanya in her cabin. When Tanya walks in, Tara draws a gun and says hi. Tanya says they should have just killed her. Tara says she’ll be glad she didn’t. Cindy walks in and says Tara promised. Tara says she did, but she didn’t have a choice. She says her friends are out there, and they’re going to take this place. They’re going to fight the Saviors, and Oceanside should join. Tara says the Saviors came back. They killed her friends, her girlfriend, and took over. They’re doing whatever the Saviors want them to, but they’re going to fight back. With Oceanside, they’d have an army. Tara says they’ll win; just talk to Rick. She says she can stop it, but they have to tell her right now. She didn’t want to break her promise, but the world doesn’t belong to fair people. Tanya says if they take the guns, they’ll be killing them. Cindy thinks they should talk to Rick and try to stop it, but Tara says they can’t.

Explosions start happening. Michonne acts as a sniper just in case. Daryl tells a group to put their hands on their heads, and Jesus adds please.

Tanya asks if Tara’s people are killing her people. Tara says the bombs are outside the walls. She tells them that it’s time to move. They get the better of Tara. Cindy holds the gun on Tara and finds out it’s not loaded. Tara tells her to just talk to Rick. Outside, everyone is being rounded up. Gabriel tells them that they want it to be as simple and peaceful as possible, and they can make it that way. Rick says they made a lot of noise, and want to wrap this up quick. No one needs to get hurt. It’s about what they need.

Tanya comes out holding Tara in front of her. She says no one is taking anything, and to leave or Tara dies. Rick says nothing has changed, and to put the gun down. Tanya says they just want to be left alone. Rick says to let go or they’ll get killed. Cindy tells the people that Rick wants to fight the Saviors. Somebody says they tried that once, and it didn’t’ turn out so well. Tara says they’re going to win, with or without them. Cindy says it’s over, and Tanya says after everything they’ve been through, it’s futile to want to fight them. Cindy knocks her out while she’s yapping away, and here come the zombies. Rick tells everyone to shield the children.

They get ready to kill the zombie horde, and it’s a bizarre bit of overkill. They waste a lot of bullets for people who are concerned with gathering guns. To their credit, there are also a few head stabbers. Rick shakes hands with one of the women. Tanya tells them they’re not fighting; take their damn guns and go.

Meanwhile, back at Neganland, Negan sees that Sasha has dispatched David. She says you win, and he says no, you win. He tells the guard to get someone to clean the mess up. He takes the knife back, and says she has a ways to go before he’ll believe she’s on board. Baby steps. Still, the way she surrendered just now was a good start. They have to work on some things, but he’ll make it fun. He says a little birdie told him that Rick and company are up to no good, and she’s going to find them a win-win. He says he’s going to show her a taste of what they have to offer, and tomorrow is going to be a big day.

Gregory gets out the liquor. He looks at himself in the mirror. He pours himself a stiff one, and looks at a map. He calls for his driver and tells him to pack a bag.

Eugene knocks at Sasha’s door he says it might not seem like it now, but she also knows the correct select. She tells him that she was wrong. She says she’s trapped, and he has to help her. He says he’ll help her get used to the idea, but she says he has to get her a weapon. One way or another, they’ll use her to hurt their friends, and she’d rather not give them the chance. If they have her, Rick’s people will get hurt. She has to die; it’s the only way. She knows that Eugene won’t stop them, but don’t let them use her. She begs him to give her something to stop this. The worst thing about this whole scene is that Sasha is behind a closed door – we only see it from Eugene’s POV. I would think they could afford better sound at this point, but the dialogue was muffled. I was straining to hear what she was saying, and it’s not like I couldn’t hear the rest of the show. Eugene says he’ll consider it. We finally see Sasha and she’s smiling. She thanks Eugene. So I get why we only saw things from his side, but take a few bucks from the zombie budget and hire an extra boom person for the day.

Jesus gathers baskets of guns. That’s funny, since usually we hear about Jesus gathering baskets of bread and/or fish. Morgan asks if they really need all of it, and Rick says they do. Carl tells Enid that he thinks of the people he didn’t kill too. Tara tells Cindy that they’ll bring them back when it’s over. Cindy says she wants to go; some of them do, but not all, and it has to be all. She tells Tara that Tanya says they’ll die, but Tara says she’s been wrong before. Tara asks where she is and Cindy says she’s lying down. Tara thanks her for saving her life. Rachel asks if they’re taking it all, and Tara says yep, see you later, and gives her the finger. Rick asks if she’s okay, and she says he’s right; she doesn’t have to feel bad.

Commercial break with important information. Fear the Walking Dead will be back in June.

Sasha paces as much as you can in a tiny cell. There’s a knock. It’s Eugene. He says he’s given things a think, and he’s decided to grant her request. He slips something under the door. It’s a pill. He says certain death in 20-30 minutes. She starts crying because I guess she wanted a weapon. Did she really think it was going to be that easy? Eugene says that she’s honest, brave, and self-aware, and he owes her some things. He says he doesn’t want her to go, but it sounds like she’s gone already. Sasha wonders what the blip she’s going to do now.

Rick and company get back to Alexandria. Jesus asks about Sasha. Rosita says there’s someone here. It’s Dwight in a cell. Daryl goes ballistic, and Rick holds him back. Rosita says he wants to help them. Rick asks if that’s true, and Dwight says it is. Rick looks into Dwight’s eyes and says okay. He points the gun at him and says get on your knees.

Next time, an extended finale. Thanks for the heads up. BTW, I’ve really been appreciating how these shows run a few minutes over the hour as a general rule now. Why? Anyway, next time, Dwight wants Negan dead (get in line), Negan wants Sasha to get things back on track, and Ezekiel an Shiva join the fray.

💋 Feud: Bette and Joan is the best! Learning all the behind-the-scenes politics has been interesting. While it’s no secret that movie stars of the studio era had to play the game, there were power struggles going on with directors and producers as well. My two takeaways for this week are: I’m glad I never had to work with Frank Sinatra, and I wish I had a Mamacita.

🍑 My takeaway from The Real Housewives of Atlanta is how frightened I am that Porsha wants to breed. And that there’s someone willing to help with that.

ScreamPainting

Mar20

March 19, 2017 – The First Ogres War, Plans to Kill Negan are Set in Motion & Random Thoughts

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

The First Ogres War. Or what I’m calling the poor man’s Game of Thrones. Medieval soldiers are in the woods using a catapult. One guy wants out, but Beowulf says if they don’t fight the ogres, they’ll kill everyone. He can be known as a hero or a coward. Beowulf hands him a sword and everyone charges forward. The ogres look just like you’d think they would – giant things with spiky teeth, holding clubs. The soldiers shoot flaming arrows at them and get swatted like flies. Instead of being a hero or a coward, the soldier is squashed when an ogre steps on him.

Beowulf is the only one left standing, and says do your worst. An ogre in armor comes out and whacks him with his helmet. Then he explodes into a fireball, leaving Rumpelstiltskin standing behind him with the dagger. Beowulf says Rumpel killed him, and Rumpel giggles, saying he killed all of them.

Hook sits at Granny’s bar in Storybrooke, throwing back shots. Archie sits down next to him, and asks if Hook talked to David. He says he did, and things went well. Archie asks what’s the problem then? Hook says he found out something about his past. He does want to tell Emma the truth, but he thinks she won’t want to marry him after she hears it. Archie says he’s changed and needs to find that out for himself.

Gold looks for Gideon. The Blue Fairy and Belle join him. He says Gideon’s heart is set on fulfilling his destiny, and needs to kill Emma to make himself a hero. He says he’s already lost one son, and won’t lose another.

In ye olde tavern, everyone toasts to Rumpel. His son, Baelfire, asks if he really defeated the ogres. Rumpel says he did, and shows off the dagger. Beowulf asks why they’re cheering, and Rumpel gives him the sword he dropped. Beowulf wonders how Rumpel was able to defeat the ogres, and says dark magic comes with a price; they’ll all pay dearly for this. Rumpel tells his son not to listen; it’s just jealousy talking. Baelfire tells him that he doesn’t need the dagger now, and should get rid of it. Rumpel agrees to no more magic.

Gideon pops into the Sheriff’s office in Storybrooke. He finds the dagger in a safe, but runs into Rumpel on his way out. Gideon says Emma won’t get the best of him again. Rumpel knocks him out with some magic, saying maybe, but he still has some things to learn from his papa.

Robin hides the box of potions that he stole from Regina. Regina finds him, and says she’s there to apologize for pressuring him to be something he’s not. Robin says it’s taking him longer to get used to this world than he imagined. She asks to help him. He suggests they meet later after he’s had time to clear his head.

Gideon wakes up tied to a chair. Gold says he couldn’t take any chances. Gideon says that his father promised to help him. Gold says he took the dark path to save his first son, but never became a hero. Once you give in to darkness, it’s almost impossible to leave it behind. Gideon says what if he steals Emma’s light magic, and that he thought Gold would want to see the Black Fairy defeated. Gold says no one wants to see that more than him, but giving into darkness can only lead to heartbreak.

Back in the day, Rumpel is doing some spinning. Baelfire comes running in all beat up. He says the baker’s son did it, so he’d look like a monster. Rumpel wants to intervene, but Baelfire says he’ll only make things worse. Some villagers come to the door, complaining that they need protection, and Baelfire says that Rumpel can save them without magic. He can show them he can defeat the beast without the dagger.

Forward in Storybrooke, Zelena walks into her house to find Robin in the kitchen. She produces a green fireball, and tells him he’s not getting her daughter. He shows her the box of potions, and says he needs her help. He needs to break out. He says he came there for a fresh start – new people to rob, new places to drink, new women to whatever – but her sister has thwarted his every step. She asks why she should help, and he says she wants out more than he does. She asks when they leave.

Gold wants to know what the Black Fairy did to make Gideon think that killing the Savior is the only way to become a hero. Gideon says Gold needs to trust him, and Gold unties him.

In the enchanted forest, Rumpel and Baelfire look for the beast. Rumpel says he wants to do it the right way, but he’s brought the dagger just in case. Baelfire says it’s like a crutch, and reminds him of a time he put a fire out without needing help. He tells Rumpel one step at a time. Rumpel gives Baelfire the dagger.

In the present, Gideon gives Gold a book, Her Handsome Hero. The Black Fairy had given it to him. She asked if he wanted to be a hero, and said we’ll see about that. She beat another boy and Gideon heard his cries. He had the chance to save him, but just sat there. He didn’t have what it takes, just like Gold. He wants to show his mother that she was wrong about the both of them, and asks for help.

Gold gives Gideon some tea to drink. It’s been mixed with memory potion. His pain will be gone, and he’ll no longer remember what the Black Fairy did. Gideon says he was raised by the Black Fairy, and pulls out the dagger. He says Gold is no different than she is, and he’s going to help Gideon fulfill his destiny whether he wants to or not.

Way back when, Rumpel sees a bunch of dead villagers and takes a sword from one. He and Baelfire go into a cave, where Rumpel finds a horn and blows into it. Beowulf grabs Baelfire, and Rumpel tells him to stay away from his son. Beowulf says the only monster there is the Dark One. Rumpel asks if Beowulf killed the villagers, but Beowulf says Rumpel did. He has the dagger and commands Rumpel to stay. They’ll think he did it.

Back to Storybrooke, where Gold tells Gideon not to let the Black Fairy destroy his life. Gideon holds up the broken dagger. Gold says there’s good in him and not to snuff it out. If he does this, he might not be able to get back. Gideon says sorry, but go away and don’t try to stop him.

Robin is at the Storybrooke border, and Zelena appears, poof! In a puff of green smoke. Robin asks Zelena where she’s been, and sees that she’s brought her pet cobra. She says with so many dank sewers she couldn’t leave her behind. Regina pops in. She says she should have known. She asks if they thought she wouldn’t notice her magic was missing, and chastises Robin for saying he wanted a fresh start. He says he’s been constantly reminded that he’s somebody who can’t live up to the legacy of someone who died for her.

She tells him to try a potion. He does, but they still can’t get out. Regina says Robin doesn’t understand the world out there, but he says he can handle himself. She says if he really wants to go, she’ll figure out how to break the protection spell. She owes it to both Robins to let him find his happiness, even if it means him walking out.

Beowulf duels with Baelfire. He says Baelfire is just like his father; he doesn’t have it in him. Rumpel appears, poof! In a puff of purple smoke. He says that he told Beowulf to stay away. Beowulf says if Rumpel kills him, his boy will see he’s a monster. Rumpel says he’s taking him back to town and telling them the truth. Beowulf says they won’t believe him, and will think it’s only a matter of time before he turns the dagger on them. Rumpel suggests they find a new village, and Baelfire says he won’t let Beowulf do this to them; he’s the monster and should pay. Beowulf tosses him aside and walks away. Baelfire looks at the dagger. He says, Dark One stop him, and orders Rumpel to kill Beowulf. Which he does.

In the Storybrooke forest, Gideon comes upon his fairy godmother, the Blue Fairy. He says she was supposed to protect him as a baby. She apologizes, saying the Black Fairy was too strong. He says maybe she can help now. She tells him that it won’t be like he thinks, and he says he wants her magic. He freeze frames her, and Gold tells him stop. He says he watched one son darken his heart; he’s not watching another one. He says he’ll do it for him, and slices the Blue Fairy’s hand. He takes a drop of her blood, and her magic goes to him. He tells Gideon that they’ll defeat the Black Fairy and he’ll be a hero. He says he doesn’t think he needs the dagger anymore.

Backing up. Rumpel asks Baelfire what he’s going to do with the dagger. He doesn’t know, but thinks the baker’s son won’t bother him again. He says he’s sorry he made Rumpel give up the power, but they need it to protect themselves. Rumpel says he’s right, and gives him some tea. Baelfire says it tastes strange, and Rumpel says it’s a memory potion. He’s not letting Baelfire follow him into the darkness; one of them has to be strong. Suddenly Baelfire doesn’t remember getting out of the cave, and Rumpel tells him that he hit his head. He says Beowulf won’t be bothering them anymore. Baelfire thinks Rumpel killed Beowulf, and asks how he could. Rumpel says he did what he had to do, and Baelfire says the dagger is turning him into a monster. He runs out, leaving Rumpel alone.

Moving on. Belle asks Rumpel what happened to the Blue Fairy. He says it was the only way to stop Gideon. If he hadn’t, they might not ever get him back. He says Gideon has the sword, and he’s going after the Savior. He hopes there’s enough time to stop him. Belle says they will. He darkened his soul, so Gideon wouldn’t have to. Belle says he finally put their son first, and maybe there’s hope after all.

Hook sits at Granny’s, still drinking, his food untouched. He goes home and calls for Emma, who runs downstairs. He says there’s something he needs to tell her. It’s not exactly easy, and he doesn’t know how she’ll react. She says her answer is yes. He asks what the question is. She says she found something she shouldn’t have, and shows him the ring. She asks if he’s mad, and he says he could never be mad at her. She says no walls, no secrets. She knows she ruined the surprise, but he gets down on one knee and asks if she’ll marry him. She says yes, and they kiss. He doesn’t look too happy though.

Regina messes with her cauldron. Zelena says she’s there to return Queen Cobra before anyone notices she’s missing, and to apologize. Regina says it’s her fault, and Zelena says they’ll go with that then. Regina tells her that when she saw Robin, it was a test to see if she could move forward, and she failed. She says she’ll always be paying the price for what she did. Zelena corrects her, saying the cobra did it. Regina lifts the cover off the cage, and the snake is gone.

Robin is in the woods, and the snake slithers down onto him. It bites him, and turns into the Evil Queen. She’s like, sorry, but she needed some of the potion that was stuck on him. She explains that she’s not Regina, and he should recognize a doppelganger when he sees one. He says he doesn’t care if there’s seven of her, he’s leaving. Nothing will keep him in this abysmal hamlet. She says that he hasn’t had the right tour guide, and when she’s done, he’ll have new appreciation of what Storybrooke has to offer.

Next time, the Evil Queen looks for Snow, and she and Regina have a showdown.

The Walking Dead

Maggie practices knife throwing, and gives lessons. Maggie gets a sonogram. Sasha makes plans. Sasha practices knife killing. Maggie goes over some stuff with Jesus. Sasha visits Abe’s grave. Jesus gives her a blueprint of the Saviors’ camp. Maggie brings Daryl coffee. It’s a busy morning at Hilltop.

Gregory is running out of liquor. He watches as some Saviors come in to the camp.

While Sasha is at Abe’s grave, Rosita asks her for help.

Jesus and Maggie chat. He says he grew up in a group home, so he’s used to a lot of people, but it’s the first time he feels like he belongs. She and Sasha helped him to be a part of things. He says he’s bad at relationships, but she says he should try it sometime. Sasha watches as they talk.

Sasha opens a book that has a carved out inside with bullets in it. Jesus and Enid come in, and she says she was looking for something to read. Jesus says she can have it, but asks her not to go. He says they can’t go after Negan without a lot of people. Sasha says they’re not changing their minds. He asks if Maggie knows they’re here, and Enid says Sasha should tell her about everything. Jesus wants to come along, but Sasha says Hilltop has to be ready for afterward, and Maggie needs him. Jesus asks her to stay, but knows she won’t. He tells her to take what she needs, but they should talk to Maggie; they owe her that much.

Sasha tells Enid that Maggie trusts her and has to be protected. She’s the future, along with Enid. She gives Enid a woven bracelet for the baby, and says maybe she can work on it some more while Sasha is gone. Enid says in ten minutes she’s telling Maggie, and it’s up to Sasha what she wants to do with that.

An alarm is sounded. Enid gets Daryl. Sasha and Enid slip into some wooden boxes. Daryl and Maggie hide in the root cellar.

Simon and his cronies walk into Gregory’s place. Gregory says he wasn’t expecting them so soon, but asks if Simon wants some gin. Simon says he’s into tequila now. Gregory tells Simon that he respects that. Simon says it’s just a quick visit. He says they have somebody, and he wants to be pointed in their direction.

Daryl peeks out through the door, and Maggie tells him to get away from there.

Sasha and Rosita tromp through the woods. They try to hotwire a car. Rosita sees the necklace that Sasha is wearing, and says that she made it. (I guess it was Abe’s? Seriously, who cares about that at this point?) They move on to look for another car. Sasha tries to make small talk, but Rosita isn’t having any. Sasha tells Rosita about some buildings where they might have a good shot, but thinks they should stay outside, do it clean, and maybe get out alive. Rosita says if they miss, they don’t get another chance. Sasha says she won’t miss, but if they get caught, they won’t get another chance for sure. They stab a couple of zombies in the head. Sasha says Rosita should think about it.

Enid gives one of the Saviors a basket of vegetables, but he gives them back and she drops them. He wants her gardening tools. She hands them over, and he opens the cellar door where Maggie and Daryl are hiding. He looks around. They watch him from behind some piles of stuff.

Simon visits Dr. Carson. The doctor says he’s already given them all the medicine he has. Simon tells him that’s not what he wants. Negan wants him to come to their camp. Dr. Carson asks why Negan needs two doctors, and Simon says they don’t. The doctor asks if his brother got himself killed, and Simon gives him condolences. Dr. Carson tells Gregory to arrange for medical care for Hilltop. Simon says fair is fair, and they’re not leaving them without medical solutions. He gives Gregory a crate of aspirin. Gregory asks for a word.

Gregory tells Simon that he’s proven he can work with Negan, but has to hang on to his people’s trust. Someone else might not be as cooperative and have crazy ideas. Simon asks who, but Gregory doesn’t have anyone particular in mind. Simon says if he’s having problems of that nature, to come and see him any time. Just tell the guard who he is, and they’ll let him in – as long as there’s no shenanigans afoot. He says Gregory is a good producer and he doesn’t want him to be stressed.

Savior dude starts moving stuff around in the cellar. He takes a basket of something and brings it outside. Maggie says Daryl was going to kill him, and Daryl says he deserved to die. Maggie says he hasn’t said a word to her since he got there. She asks him to look at her. He says he’s sorry, and starts crying. Geez. She says it wasn’t his fault. She says he’s one of the good things in this world, and that’s what Glenn thought. She wanted to kill that guy too. She wants them all to die, but they have to win. She hugs Daryl and asks him to help her win.

The Saviors leave Gregory’s place as Jesus and Enid watch.

Rosita throws a Molotov cocktail into a car to attract some zombies, while she and Sasha climb a fence to steal another car. We discover that even after death, kneeing a man in the groin works wonders. Sasha drives backward like a bat out of hell and through the fence.

Sasha sees Eugene giving instructions about the zombie guards. She and Rosita are holed up in a building across the way. She tells Rosita that it looks like Eugene is ordering people around. She asks Rosita to teach her some knots, but Rosita says it won’t matter soon. What a barrel of laughs she is. I have the feeling that she and Abe would not have made a good match. He was the only character who actually had a sense of humor. Rosita decides to show Sasha anyway, then stands at the window, aiming the gun. Sasha says Rosita knows how to do everything, and they got lucky having her in the group. Rosita tells her about how she learned different things from various guys. She says a lot of them wanted to protect her, and never noticed everything she was picking up. Sasha asks if that’s how it was with Abe, and Rosita says no. She fell in with him because he knew she could handle things, and she never looked back. Only when it was over. She says she thought she hated Sasha, but maybe she just hated that Sasha picked up on Abe first; Rosita never told him how she felt, and it was stupid to waste so much time. She gets weepy. She asks if Sasha was happy, and Sasha says she was. Rosita says it wasn’t his time. Sasha says he wanted to fight, and the a-hole with the bat took that away. She says no matter how it goes down, she has Rosita’s back.

Sasha looks out the window. She sees a truck coming in. She tells Rosita that they’ve brought Dr. Carson there. She sees Negan, and tries to get a bead on him, but it doesn’t happen. They hear Eugene asking for more walkers over the radio. He says he’s chief engineer, aka Negan. Rosita says they’re going inside.

Jesus meets with Gregory. Gregory tells him that there are too many people in his trailer, and gives him job assignments for the newcomers. Jesus says he must be worried if he wants to split people up. Gregory says who knows what will happen with all the Saviors around. Jesus takes that as a threat, and Gregory says they’re not friends. A guy brings Gregory some tequila, and Jesus leaves.

Daryl asks where Sasha and Rosita are.

Eugene tells the guard he’s with that they need a drill on safety protocol. Suddenly, the guard drops dead, and Rosita comes out of nowhere, telling Eugene to get it together; they’re breaking him out. He says he’s not going. He says he didn’t ask them to come, so go. He practically runs inside. Rosita says she’s going in. Sasha tells her be careful; they could be coming back. But instead of letting Rosita in, Sasha goes inside and locks the gate. She tells Rosita to go. She says it’s not Rosita’s time, and they need her. Some Saviors come out, and Rosita runs.

A man with a crossbow is in the shadows.

Next time, Gregory asks why Maggie is still at Hilltop, and the battle begins.

🍸 If you’re not watching Feud: Bette and Joan, you’re missing out. The casting is impeccable, the acting is on point, and it evokes the period perfectly. And I am so loving the behind-the-scenes story of one of my favorite films, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? While there’s no question of a feud, there are moments where you think at another time, these two strong, talented women might have become friends.

🍑 On the other hand, The Real Housewives of Atlanta is same peach, different day. Porsha has acquired no more brain cells, and possibly lost a few, and Phaedra continues to blame Kenya for some of her marital problems. Seriously? Dude was a raving lunatic who ended up in the slammer, and you’re pointing a finger at Kenya? The trip to Hawaii helped nothing. Bravo needs to stop paying for these trips that are so unappreciated, and send me on vacation instead.

 

Mar13

March 12, 2017 – Prince Charming Learns About his Father & Richard Tries to Start a War

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

A man enters a cabin in the pouring rain. His wife, Ruth, tries to calm twins David and James, who are crying in their crib. He says he’s failed them. Rumpelstiltskin appears, and offers a deal. He says the king needs a son. They can have one healthy son or two dead ones. The man tells Ruth that they have no choice. Rumpel flips a coin to decide which son he takes. Prince James it is. He tells them the deal must remain a secret, and James is no longer their son. Storybrooke’s David is the remaining baby, and the man is his father, Robert.

In Storybrooke, David tells Emma he’s proud of her, and that with hope, nothing can tear the family apart. They toast to family. David wishes they were all there, and Emma says she’ll break the curse, and they’ll get Snow back.

David steps outside and feels something in the air. His father appears with blood all over his hands. David faints. Hook finds him, and he says he’s fine. Hook tells him to get some sleep. David says if he wanted advice, he doubts he’d take it from a pirate. Geez. Just a little touchy. Hook goes back inside, and David discovers that he’s holding an old coin.

Robin complains about the incessant noise bothering him, and Regina explains the alarm clock. She’s brought him some clean clothes, since he probably smells to high heaven. Snow tells Regina that she doesn’t know who this Robin is, but Regina says there’s a part of her Robin in there. Snow says she’s worried, and Regina says she is too.

Hook visits Archie. He tells Archie that David sees him as he used to be. Technically, he’s still a pirate, but he’s a good pirate now. He thinks David wants something better for Emma, and it’s about to get more complicated. He shows Archie an engagement ring. He wants David’s blessing, but doesn’t know how or when to ask him. Archie says he shows progress in just buying the ring – he has a conscience now. He tells Hook not to wait; life is too precious. If he wants to know what David thinks, ask him.

Snow leaves a video message for David, telling him she misses and loves him. His father appears again, and David says he owes him nothing; he was a drunk, and died when David was six. David asks if he’s there about the coin. He tells Robert that he’s spent his entire life trying to forget him, and asks what he wants. Robert answers, the truth.

Back in the day, Robert is at the pub. The bartender suggests he spend the money on his family, but he hoists another one. King George is announced. The king says he knows what they’re thinking – why is he there? He tells them that his son has been abducted. Anyone with information will be rewarded, and anyone withholding information will be in trouble.

Robert wants to look for James, but Ruth wonders why he’d want to come back to a dying farm. A young David asks where Robert is going, and he says on a supply run. David asks if he’ll be better when he gets back. Robert swears he’s never touching another drop, and David gives him a lucky coin. I guess he’s going to rehab? I get a funny mental picture of a medieval enchanted rehab.

In the present, David flips the coin around in his hand. Hook drops by. David says he needs Hook’s help. He shows Hook a bulletin board with all kinds of photos, maps and arrows, and asks if he sees anything. He tells Hook that he saw his father’s ghost, and no matter what, Robert is still his father, and deserves justice. He asks Hook for help. Hook thinks Emma might be better suited to the task, but David doesn’t want to worry her or Snow. He says Hook is a pirate, and that’s what he needs.

Regina shows Robin the book of their stories. The doorbell rings. It’s Zelena, who asks where Robin is. She wonders if he’s scheming to take the baby back, and realizes that Regina hasn’t told him. She starts to blather on about how Robin can never see the baby. Regina tells her to go home, and she disappears, poof! in a puff of green smoke. Regina goes back inside to find that Robin is gone, and the book is opened to the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Out on the streets of Storybrooke, Robin draws his bow on the Sheriff, aka Keith. The arrow goes into a telephone pole, and Robin crosses the street to attack Keith. Keith tells Robin that he’s not the same person. Regina appears and sends Keith somewhere else before Robin does something he regrets. She needs Robin to promise to stop running away and trying to kill people. He says, all right. Well that was easy.

Emma has taken Henry on a canoeing trip. David and Hook go to her house to borrow some spell ingredients and the book that goes with them. Hook is concerned about sneaking into Emma’s place. David says the one time he needs him to be that guy, he gets cold feet. He tells Hook that he needs the shed key and a lookout. Hook gives him the key and stands watch.

Switching to the past, Robert approaches Rumpel for help. He says James is missing, and he wants Rumpel to help find him. He has nothing to offer, but says Rumpel owes him. Rumpel says that Robert finally grew a spine, but Robert says he finally became a father. He wants to tell his boy that he’s sorry. Rumpel says he could be persuaded for a hair off of Robert’s head. Poof! In a cloud of purple smoke, a crystal globe appears. Rumpel says that James ran away, but it’s to a place that Robert doesn’t want to follow him to. He plucks the hair off of Robert’s head, and gives him James’s location. When Robert leaves, Rumpel tells us that small things can hold great power.

Forward to Storybrooke, David goes through the shed. Hook sees Emma’s yellow VW bug drive up. Her car is really hard to miss. He asks what happened, and she says they forgot lifejackets. Hook says he’s desperate to kiss her. She says she knows he’s lying, and asks what he’s hiding. He says he’s been out of sorts because of Archie; he paid him a visit to talk about her. He says he thought that she was going to die, and it changed the way he thought about things, about them. Behind Emma, David sneaks out of shed. Hook tells Emma that it’s hard for him to share feelings, so consider them shared. They kiss. Emma goes to the shed, and Hook and David jet.

Regina asks if Robin was going to kill the Sheriff. He wonders about her calling him on that, when she’s the one cursing everyone. And he doesn’t mean she’s swearing at them. She says she knows she sounds like a hypocrite, but she’s changed. She tells him that the other Robin had a child, really two, but just one is there – the daughter he had with her sister. She says it’s complicated, and he says everything there is. Regina tells him that she’d hoped to give him a fresh start. He kisses her. Hmm… She was kind of looking around during the kiss and has a disgruntled face. She tells him that she’ll show him more of the town. I guess the kiss didn’t go well?

David tells Hook that the spell should show them where the coin was when his father died. David twirls in a circle, and Hook puts something in the beaker that looks like taco chip pieces. The beaker starts to smoke. David dips the coin in it, and then puts it on a map. It rolls around and lands on Pleasure Island. Hook says he knows it, but has never been there.

Way back when on Pleasure Island, we see a humongous, old-fashioned carnival. Robert wanders among the crowd. He’s offered a pint, but says he’s looking for his son. This is not rehab, but he is abstaining. He sees wooden boy Pinocchio on a bench, and sits next to him. Pinocchio asks him if his coin is worth something, and Robert says it was from his son. He tells Pinocchio that he’s looking for his other son, the prince. Pinocchio says he hasn’t seen him, but his nose begins to grow. Robert says tell him where his boy is.

Robert finds where James is hiding. James says he doesn’t want to go home. His father wants him to hunt, and he doesn’t want to kill things. Robert says he’s not taking him to that home, but the home where he has a brother to play with. He thanks Pinocchio. Two of the shills see him, and they start to run.

In Storybrooke, adult human Pinocchio tells David that this is the coin his father had. David thought he was just a drunk, but Pinocchio tells him that his father was sober. Pinocchio explains that it was a part of his story that he’s not proud of, so he took it from the book, but he wants to help, so he’ll look for it.

David tells Hook that because of him, he’s changed his mind about revenge. Hook says he’d stop him if he could, but David isn’t going to give him that chance. He handcuffs Hook to a bike rack, and drives away.

Rewinding, the king is waiting on the docks. He offers Robert the reward for James, but Robert says that James doesn’t want to go with him. He tells the king to let him lie where he’ll be happy. The king says that Robert looks old and that conscience must be a terrible thing. Robert says he realizes what he did was wrong. James begs not to be taken, but the King tells the guards to grab him, and they can have the reward if they kill Robert and make it look accidental.

Fast forward to David finding the king in a cell. David accuses him of killing his father, and the king plays semantics, saying he only ordered him killed. David says he offered a temptation and Robert withstood it. David throws him a dagger, and says fight for your life if you think it’s worth it. They slash at each other. Hook intervenes, and throws the king outside. David says that the king killed his father. He says that in his final moments, his father resisted temptation, but died anyway. Robert did the right thing, but it wasn’t enough. David goes through a bunch of “what ifs,” ending with what if he loses everything that matters. Hook says to kill the king if it will make him feel stronger, but think about his father. He asks if Davud wants to be a murderer in return. David lets him take the knife.

In the enchanted forest, the guards bind Robert to the cart. They say everyone will believe he was drunk and drove the cart off the road. With him tied to it, there’s no way he can survive the fall.

Back to today, David’s father bids him farewell on the dock. Hook asks if David is okay. He says he thinks so, and owes Hook an apology – he’s the noble one. It cost him more than it should have, and he did the hardest thing anyone can – he changed. He saved David from making a huge mistake, and David doesn’t know how to repay him. But Hook knows. He asks if he has David’s blessing in asking Emma to marry him. There’s silence for a moment, then David finally smiles and says of course. He didn’t realize that Hook was so old-fashioned, but Hook says he is over 200 years old.

Snow and Regina talk. Regina tells her about Robin kissing her, and says it was nothing, like kissing a photograph. It just isn’t him. She says Snow was right. Snow says sorry, she didn’t want to be. Regina says it’s not her fault, but there has to be a reason he made it through. If she isn’t the reason, what is? She wonders who he is and what he wants.

Robin goes to Regina’s mausoleum and takes out an intricately carved box that contains a heart.

Pinocchio finds the part he tore out of the book and gives it to Hook. Hook looks at the pages and sees Pinocchio on the bench with Robert.

The guard tells Robert it’s time to die, but Hook stops him. He and his men kill the guards. He says they’ve gotten a fortune. Robert thanks him for saving his life. Hook asks why he would do that, and Robert tells Hook he won’t say anything. Hook says that’s right, because dead men tell no tales, and runs his sword through Robert. (Although this made me wonder why no one would have realized Robert was killed by a sword, not a fall. It doesn’t take modern medicine to determine that one.) Hook tells his men to take the stuff, hide the cart and this poor, departed soul.

Emma comes out of the house to find Hook out front. He says he’ll be in in a minute. He looks at the ring and snaps the box shut.

Next time, Hook gets more analysis from Archie, Gideon wants Rumpel/Gold to help him with his destiny, and a big, scary giant stomps around.

The Walking Dead

Ezekiel’s men set up a single melon in the back of a truck. No clue.

Carol wakes up and lights a lamp. She smokes a cigarette. Do they grow tobacco or is there just an endless dramatic license supply?

Morgan teaches Benjamin’s little brother how to use the staff. He asks if the kid’s goal is to really knock his brother out, and thinks it’s more that he wants to be like him. He tells little brother that if his feet ain’t right, nothing is.

Carol emerges to a beautiful pink sky. She walks down the road and climbs a tree. She pikes zombies in the head with a street sign. She sees Benjamin and asks where Morgan is.

Carol asks Morgan why Jesus was there. Morgan says he wanted to find out if they could work together. She asks if it’s true that a deal was made between the Saviors and Alexandria, but he tells her to talk to Daryl about that. She told him not to say where she was, so he didn’t. Daryl didn’t find her because of him, and what they talked about was between them. He’ll go to Alexandria if she wants to; she shouldn’t go alone. He asks if she found what she wanted getting away from everyone, or was it too late to get away? A tear trickles down her cheek, and he says they can leave now if she wants to. In true Carol fashion, she says nothing and walks out. Carol’s passive/aggressive crap irritates the hell out of me.

Benjamin asks if Carol wants him to walk with her. He says he’s trying to see what she does with the zombies, and asks If she’d let him observe. She tells him to go do his drop. She sees a zombie in the street that she’d incapacitated earlier, but keeps moving. Someone is watching her.

Richard sees a backpack that says Katy on it, and he buries it.

All is well in the Kingdom. Ezekiel observes. He asks one of his subjects, Nabila, what she’s found. She tells him that many of the plants have weevils, and they’ll have to burn them before it gets to all the crops. He tells her to do what must be done. She says the good part is, that it will all grow back. Sheba Shiva makes a noise, and Nabila says she just peed herself, so she’ll be going now.

Benjamin thanks Morgan again for the book. He says he’s still thinking about it – to injure an opponent is to injure oneself; you get hurt no matter what. He gives Morgan a drawing that he found. Morgan hangs it on the wall. Benjamin says a girl helped him with it, but when Morgan asks who, he gets evasive and leaves.

Richard and Morgan talk about Benjamin having a girlfriend, and Richard says Benjamin is too young to be a father. Richard tells Morgan that before the apocalypse, he had the perfect family and life. He asks what about Morgan, and apologizes about how things have been between them. He knows Morgan is a good man, but they don’t look at killing the same way, and the day is coming when you can’t be that good.

Morgan tells Benjamin that it’s time to go. The guys get in the truck with the produce offering. Morgan asks who the girl is, but Benjamin is still not forthcoming.

Somebody has blocked the road with a line of shopping carts. Richard says it can’t be anything good He gets out with his gun. He tells everyone that they can get out, but keep their guns out. They all look around, scouting the place.  Richard tells them to move toward the building. In the back, they see a hole with a sign that says “bury me here.” Ezekiel says that people have lived through every kind of misery, and this is how they must exist now; it’s lucky they’re not all insane. Benjamin says luck has nothing to do with it. Ezekiel made them another world.

They move the carts. Savior Gavin and company show up. When right-hand goon to the right-hand goon, Jared, is chastised by Jerry for interrupting Ezekiel, Jared whacks Jerry in the head with Morgan’s staff. Gavin says that he appreciates the delivery, but this is making him stressed and he didn’t sign up for being stressed. He asks if they have today’s offering. He wants their guns, but the group draws them and Ezekiel says they didn’t agree to that. Gavin says give them up or try to use them. Richard tells Ezekiel that they should give them over. Gavin gets nasty, and Ezekiel says to give Morgan his stick back and they can have the guns. Gavin says he needs to understand the gravity of what’s happening. He was given a choice; which is it going to be? Morgan says it’s fine. Ezekiel says to give them the guns.

Gavin tells Ezekiel that he took guns because things are getting emotional. He checks out the melons they’ve brought, and says they’re short; he counts eleven. Ezekiel says that’s impossible. Gavin says the problems have to end now. Ezekiel needs to learn the stakes, and they’re going to teach him. Ezekiel says they’ll get double in return, but Gavin says right now is what matters. They haven’t held up their side of the bargain, and they’re going to deal with this now. Jared holds a gun to Richard’s head. Richard says, just do it. Jared shoots in another direction, and we hear, no!

Benjamin has been shot. Gavin tells Jared to give back Morgan’s stick and get in the truck. He tells Ezekiel that he’ll make deliveries on time and they’ll be complete. He’s going to show Gavin that he understands by bringing the missing melon tomorrow. Ezekiel says he understands. They grab Benjamin, and put him in the truck. Concern is voiced about him bleeding out. Richard lags behind and Morgan yells for him to get in.

Carol is planting some seeds, and sees the truck pull up. Benjamin is brought in and put on the kitchen table. Carol tries to stop the bleeding, but she’s not having much luck. Benjamin says, injure the opponent, injure yourself, and dies. He dies. Ezekiel tells Carol that he’s sorry, but they had no choice. Morgan walks out. Carol asks him to wait, but he doesn’t listen. He thinks about the grave. He thinks about killing himself. He thinks about a lot of stuff. He kicks a box.

Richard appears tells Morgan to pick his gun up.

Richard tells Morgan that it was supposed to be him. He was going to give his life to show Morgan, and something else happened, because they’ve done nothing to stop them. Nothing. He tells Morgan about how he was in a huge camp, a city of tarps, latrines, wood smoke, and babies crying. He knew they had problems, but didn’t think they were his to solve. He thought there were smarter and stronger people to deal with it, so he did nothing. There was a fight and a fire, and he lost his wife. He ran for three days, no food, no sleep. Then he lost his little girl. Right in front of him, because he didn’t do something; because he waited. Okay. Let’s all say it together: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke? I know this was up for debate at some point.)

Richard asks Morgan to listen. He says they can use what’s happened. They can show the Saviors that they understand what they need to do. They have to do something to make them believe. When they gain their trust back, they kill them. They can join with Alexandria and Hilltop, and crush them in one fell swoop. This is it; Morgan has to kill, or else he might as well kill himself. Someone had to die. Richard tried to be the one, but that didn’t happen, so he’ll be the one to lead the army to destroy the Saviors. He says they’ll talk to Ezekiel. He’ll tell everyone what he did, and live the rest of his life making up for it.

Morgan meditates. Ezekel comforts Benjamín’s little brother. Morgan meditates some more.

We revisit Ezekiel and the melon in the truck from the beginning of the show. They go to the parking lot to meet with Gavin. Morgan asks Richard if he’s talked to Ezekiel yet, and Richard says he will when they get back. Ezekiel hears them and says let’s talk now. Gavin’s truck pulls up. He and Jared get out. The Jerky McJerkfaces. Gavin asks how the kid is, and there’s no answer. He ponders this, and deduces that Benjamin is dead. He tells Jared to start walking back before he kills him, and don’t say one word. Jared starts walking.

Gavin asks if they have the melon that all this started over. Richard says they get it, and Morgan whacks Richard, knocking him to the ground. He starts to strangle Richard, and everyone just stands there. He pounds Richard’s head into the ground until he’s dead. WTF??? Morgan says he set it up. Richard blocked the road, and it was all him. They had everything when they left. Richard took one of the melons from the cargo. He wanted to start something between the Kingdom and the Saviors. Morgan wanted to show Gavin that they get it; they understand what they need to do and how to go on. Gavin says good, but I think he’s a little freaked. He says, next week same time. Morgan says they understand.

Wow this is f-ed up.

Ezekiel says he did this. Morgan says he wanted to die for them before; he wanted it to be him. Ezekiel says they must take their leave, and Morgan shouldn’t be alone. Morgan says he’ll go. The Kingdom people leave, and Morgan puts a knife in Richard’s head.

Morgan drags Richard’s body and buries it. In digging the hole, he’s unearthed the backpack. He buries that too.

Noisy zombies coming through. Morgan pops them in the head with his stick and does some majorette moves.

Morgan visits Carol. He asks if she really wants to know what happened in Alexiandria. She asks what happened to him, and he says he strangled Richard; he’s the one who got Benjamin killed. He asks again if she wants to know, and she nods. He tells her that Negan killed Glenn and Abraham, he beat their heads in with a baseball bat. He says the Saviors have Alexandria, along with everyone else. Everything they do is for the Saviors now. And they’ve killed more, Spencer and Olivia. Jesus brought some of them there because Rick wants to fight. She wanted to know; now she does.

She asks where he’s going, and he says he’s going to kill them one by one. Carol tells him to wait. She packs her bags, and goes into the Kingdom. She sees Ezekiel planting with Benjamin’s brother. She tells him she’s sorry, and he thanks her. She tells Ezekiel that they have to fight. He says they do, but not today. She joins them planting.

Morgan carves his stick, making a point on the end.

Next time, Sasha isn’t changing her mind, Rosita and Sasha work together, and more zombies! Okay, I wasn’t totally paying attention, since I was looking at the digital guide, and the teeny tiny picture was up in the corner.

 

Mar6

March 5, 2017 – Once Returns, Rick Finds Guns & Feud is Fabulous

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

Underneath a bridge, a little girl reads a fairy tale book, then uses the pages to stoke a fire. A young man asks what her story is. She tells him that she ran away and it’s none of his business. He asks her to stop burning the book, and tells her that The Ugly Duckling was his favorite. He says the best fairy tales are about transformation. She says that’s not what it’s about; the duck was always a swan, but didn’t know it. He says it’s about belief; if we believe in something strongly enough, we all have the power to change our fate. He asks if this is the fate she wants.

The little girl tells a desk clerk that her friend brought her there, and her name is Emma Swan.

In the enchanted parallel world, before Emma and Regina can jump into the porthole, Robin holds them up for their jewelry. Some huntsmen ride close by, and Robin jets. Henry leads the pack, and thinks that Emma and Regina crossed the river. Emma tells Regina nothing there is real. The place was created by a wish. Emma thinks she’s found a way back.

David and Hook stroll the streets of Storybrooke. David says they need to give the Evil Queen what she deserves, and he’s not resting until it’s done. Hook says he’s in, but he hopes David knows what he’s doing.

Rumpelstiltskin (as Gold) asks Gideon how this is possible. Gideon says he was in a place where time didn’t move. Gold asks if the Queen harmed him, but he says she toughened him. In all of the dark years, he tried to remember Belle and follow her example. He’s still going to kill Emma though, because he’ll gain her power as Savior. He needs to rid his land of the Black Fairy. He says when he kills Emma, he’ll finally become a hero. He disappears, poof! in a puff of pick-a-color smoke. Okay, I wasn’t looking.

Emma finds Pinocchio, who thought she’d been captured. He asks what happened that she’s in the Enchanted Forest, and she says it’s a long story. He tells her how he desperately wanted to be a real boy, and it only took his father to make it so. He asks what he can do for her, and she tells him to build something to get her out of there. She wonders if he still has the enchanted wardrobe, but he dismantled it years ago. He thinks he can still help. He knows where the grove is that the wood came from, and thinks they might be able to replicate his father’s work. Emma asks Regina what she thinks, but there’s no Regina, only a note. Regina says she knows Robin isn’t real here, but needs to know if he’s better off without her, like everything else in the realm.

Regina looks through the window of the pub, and remembers seeing Robin for the first time. She goes inside and everybody freaks because she’s the Evil Queen. They all run, but Robin asks if she’s going to buy him a drink. He thinks she’s there for the necklace that he stole, but she wants to talk. She asks if he’s happy, and he says she’s a strange one. He tells her that his life is great, he answers to no man and sleeps under the stars. She says he was better off, and he asks why she would care. Before she can say anything, the Sheriff of Nottingham comes in to arrest Robin, and slaps a cuff on Regina. He says Robin comes with a bonus, and tells his men to take her too.

Pinocchio and Emma go to the enchanted grove. Pinocchio checks out his father’s tools, and picks something out. He says that a true wood carver must be in conversation with the tools and materials. Emma pulls out a sword and tells Pinocchio she’s no longer a princess, but a Savior. She explains that her fate is to die while protecting her family.

Hook comes out of nowhere to “rescue” Emma. He’s fat, has grey hair, and looks like an aging Jack Sparrow. Obviously, he wasn’t better off.

In Storybrooke, Gold tells Gideon that it’s lonely. Gideon says that’s his fate. Gold says fate is a tricky business that requires planning. Gideon believes that Gold thinks he isn’t strong enough. Gold says there are things a man learns with time, but Gideon tells him to get lost. He says Gold thinks he knows all about him, but he has no idea. Gold says that Gideon’s life has been full of pain, but if he wants someone to pay, let it be him. He tells Gideon to hit him. Gideon doesn’t do it, and Gold says if he can’t hit his father, how does he expect to kill the Savior? He says he can help, but Gideon says he doesn’t need his help.

Emma tells Hook to let Pinocchio go, and leave the rescue to the professionals. She says she doesn’t need rescuing and Pinocchio easily takes Hook’s sword from him. Hook says there’s a reward for Princess Emma’s return. Pinocchio asks if she knows him, and she says she knows another version of him, and they sort of live together in another world. She knocks Hook out with some magic, and says it’s time to go home and get someone off the rum. Hook disappears, but the tool is broken.

Emma asks if Pinocchio can fix it, but he says he can’t. She says they have other tools, but he says they need magic and he’s not good enough. He says he’s sorry she put her faith in him, and hopes she doesn’t make that mistake again.

Regina and Robin are locked in a cage in the forest. Robin says he’s going to die having accomplished nothing. She says he’s Robin Hood who robs from the rich and steals from the poor. He asks if she’s nuts, and tells her that he just steals from the rich. She finds out that Marion died before they got married. He says there’s no one. She asks if he’s happy. He says if she wants the truth, he hasn’t been happy for a long time. She says he never had love.

The horses begin to rear up and run away. The guards chase them. One approaches the cage and is blown back. Rumpelstiltskin appears. Regina asks him to take the cuff off. He says on one hand she helped him escape, and on the other, the woman he loved starved to death. He dumps out a bag of bones and says that’s her now. Regina assures him that she had nothing to do with that. He says he might not be real, but he has the feeling he can still make her bleed. Yikes.

In real life, David tells Snow he’s sorry he can’t wake her. He promises he’ll find their daughter, bring her home, and fix this. He and Hook try to make a plan. Belle says they’re looking for her son, Gideon. He grew up in another realm, and the experience affected him. She says Rumpel is out looking for him too. David wonders who Rumpel is helping, and Belle says she can stop him, but she doesn’t want anyone harmed. She trusts them, and asks them to trust her. David says when they find Gideon, she can try to get him to listen.

Back in the world of fairies, Rumpel pushes Regina and Robin into a cell, and locks the door. Robin is like, so, I’m living in a fake world created by the wish of a princess who isn’t fake, and I’m a folk hero in another version. Regina is surprised he believes her. He says he doesn’t mind believing that he lives a better life in another world. He asks if he’s a scoundrel there, and she says he’s dead. He asks if the other Robin had a good life before he died. Regina says she thinks and hopes so. He helped a lot of people, and loved his friends and family. And her. Robin says it sounds like a good life, even if it was too short. He tells Regina that he’s not just the world’s greatest thief, and breaks the lock. They leave the cell.

Emma is about to chop at the tree, and spies a carved box with her name on a gift tag tied to it. There’s a carved swan inside. She goes to Pinocchio’s ship and asks him what it is. He tells her happy birthday. He says he always liked swans, and talks about The Ugly Duckling. His father told him that if you believe hard enough in something, you can change your fate. Emma remembers him at the fire, and says, it was you. She says when she was a kid, Pinocchio gave her advice that changed her life. He says she became the swan. She hands him the magic spatula and says he can do this. If he believes he’s a master carpenter, he will be, and his life will change.

Pinocchio chops at the tree. Magic pops out of it, and he says it looks like the swan is going home.

Commercial break. No surprise. It’s for Beauty and the Beast. I’d love to see it on the big screen, but I’ve sworn off any movie below an R rating. The last time I saw something that was PG-13, I felt like I was in the middle of a bus during a field trip, surrounded by the light of phone screens.

Pinocchio builds whatever, and thanks Emma for believing in him. She says his father would be proud. He shows her the finished product – a new enchanted wardrobe. Regina and Robin arrive, and Robin asks if they’re getting back in a tree. Regina tells him sorry for dragging him in. He gives her a feather, saying she’ll have a piece of Robin. She tells him that when her Robin died, there was a feather that was lost. She’d hoped he was in a good place, and thinks somehow, he lives on in this Robin. Emma asks if she wants to bring him as her plus one, but Regina says he’s not real. How can a wish become real? Emma says if Regina believes that any part of Robin is in there, she should bring him, saying that they make their own fate. She did it, and now it’s Regina’s turn. Robin says he’s in. Regina tells him it might not work, but he says it might. She asks if he wants to take the risk, and he says it’s not that great there, so why not go with the woman who was willing to die for another version of him?

Pinocchio opens the door. Emma steps through and Regina thanks him.

In Storybrooke, Emma and Regina come through, but no Robin. Emma says she’s sorry, and Regina asks for a moment alone. While she’s meditating on her sadness, Robin appears. She hugs him. He’d probably hug back, but he has arrows and stuff in his hands. She shows him the town from the top of a hill, officially welcoming him to Storybrooke.

Commercial break. It’s for the Time After Time series premiere. I thought this show had been on already, since there have been ads for it for months. I’m not sure if I’ll get a chance to see it, but I loved the 1979 movie with Malcolm McDowell and David Warner.

Emma strolls down the street, thinking about her vision. Gideon appears and says he’s been waiting. She says she only knows one Gideon, and he’s a lot younger. She asks what he wants, and he attacks her. They battle with their swords. Emma’s sword goes flying, and Gideon has them both. The others run up, and Emma tells them to stay back. Belle tells Gideon that he doesn’t have to do this. He freeze frames everyone. He tells Emma that he’s not going to hurt them, just her. Her hand starts to shake, and he tells her that she’s fated to die. She says not today.

Emma blows Gideon back with magic and holds a blade to his neck. Gold begs her not to kill him. Gideon says he doesn’t need Gold’s help, and disappears. No poof, no smoke, just disappears. Emma is stunned that he was Belle and Rumpel’s baby. They suddenly notice Robin, and Regina explains about the alternate reality. Everyone hugs. We hear a typewriter.

Emma walks in on Pinocchio typing. He says he works in a cabin out there, so his father can sleep. She asks him if he knew it was her when she was little. He says he kept tabs on her for a while. He knew she didn’t belong on the streets, and had to make sure that she did too. Emma sees the book that she was going to burn in a box on Pinocchio’s table. He says when she picked Swan as a last name, it made him happy. He figured she got it, and was on the way to being the person she was supposed to be. She says she thinks she’s on her way to believing she makes her own destiny. He tells her that believing is the first step.

Gold finds Belle on the bridge, and asks if she’s making a wish. She says he succeeded in keeping Gideon from his horrible fate. He says Gideon had the power to make his own choices. He thought Gideon would make the right choice, and even though he was wrong, Gideon may still do it. Gold says that through his whole dark life, he’s sought out light, like her. He doesn’t want Gideon to kill anyone because it’s not the cure for his pain. He doesn’t want that for his son.

Belle says she protected Gideon, knowing what he wanted to do, and it can be easy to rationalize. Gold says, indeed it can. As they’re talking, Gideon is climbing up the stairs inside the clock tower. Belle wonders what they can do. Gold says if there is, they should do it together; not just for them, but for everyone. War is coming to Storybrooke.

Gideon busts out the clock’s face. It shatters everywhere.

Next time, Emma wants to break the curse, David needs a pirate, and Emma wants to know what Hook is hiding.

The Walking Dead

Michonne and Rick comb a house for supplies, gathering anything of value. Down in a van by the river, she thanks him for keeping watch last night. He says they’re getting batteries for the walkie-talkie and getting it to work again. They raid another house, fighting off some zombies. They get busy during a break. Rick is discouraged that all they have are two guns, some dented cans of beans, and some football jerseys, but Michonne says they’re fighting the fight.

They come across a group of Saviors playing golf. They see batteries in the back of their truck.

Back at the van, Michonne tells Rick that they have to get back. Rick wants to stay a little longer, and sounds like a kid who wants to stay up later. Michonne agrees.

Rosita stitches herself up. Tara tells her it’s going to work out. They have the numbers to fight; they just need guns. Rosita asks where they’re going to get them, and says she can’t just wait. Tara says they’ll get the guns and fight. Rosita says it’s not going to be easy; it wasn’t the last time. She says she’s going to find guns.

Rick sleeps while Michonne drives. Rick sleeps while Michonne makes coffee. She sees a deer and tells Rick to shhh! even though he was sleeping. She gets a gun, but the deer is gone. Rick says he owes her a deer. They look around the forest, making so much noise that every deer within miles has disappeared.

They see a fence with a half-fallen tarp on it. Rick bangs on the fence and a soldier zombie stumbles around on the other side. Rick sniffs a bullet casing and they look around. Michonne says something serious happened here a long time ago. Rick says there might be serious guns in there.

Rosita noses around an abandoned house. She starts to go inside, and a Mama June (not hot) type zombie ambles out. She slices mama’s head in half with a machete. She finds a gun, but it’s just a water pistol.

Michonne and Rick go to the top of a building. They see zombie soldiers and civilians wandering around a carnival. Cool! Let’s get those zombies on the Ferris wheel. Rick says there was a fight, and they’re still wearing their guns. Michonne shoots, and ends up doing well at one of the carnival games. Until she and rick fall through the roof. We hear Rick laugh. Because it’s all good when you’re in love.

Rick and Michonne lie there laughing. They look around and find a boatload of food. Some kind off pre-packaged “ready to eat” meals.

Rosita finds Gabriel at the church. She tells him she didn’t find any guns even though she was out there all day. She had a gun, and was going to kill Negan with it. If she’d done it, he’d be dead. Maybe she would too, but who gives a damn? She lists all the people who would still be alive, and says that she’s still there because she was stupid enough to listen to him. She tells him that he doesn’t know sh*t about sh*t, and he tells her she’s right. He told her not to do what she was planning because they needed her, and they still do. It’s easier to be dead, and if it’s his fault, fine, but he did what he thought was right. He says she can blame him for having life, but what is she going to do with it? Anything is possible until your heart stops beating. Since she can’t argue with that, she walks out.

Michonne and Rick open the boxes, pull out the meals, and dig in. Michonne makes a plan to get the others to fight with them and kill Negan, but she doesn’t know what happens after that. They’ll have to reorder the world once he’s gone. Rick says they’ll figure out how to work together. She thinks he should be in charge, but he doesn’t. She says he’d be good at it, if it’s something he wanted. He says he doesn’t think he would, and he doesn’t want it. He says they could work together, and he wants that, if she does. She says she wants that, and they kiss.

Rick says they can take their time. The place is clear, locked up tight, and they found the only way in. He thinks they should get back. He gives her a package of chili and mac and cheese together. That’s love. The zombies stagger about outside, while Rick and Michonne get busy inside. Honestly, I don’t know how busy I could get, or would want to get, with zombies lurking around several feet away.

Tara babysits Judith. She’s torn between telling Rick about Oceanside or not, and uses Judith as a sounding board. She says that the others should just fight with them, but they only want to hide because they fear the world. But if she tells everyone about Oceanside, it might end up proving their point. She wonders what makes their life worth more than the others, because they want to stop the people who want to hurt other people?

Carnival time! Rick and Michonne watch the zombies from behind a truck. Rick wants to block one of the gaps to make it easier for them. He wants to do it quiet with the sword. Michonne makes a noise, and takes out the zombies one by one as they come her way. Rick grabs a gun from a zombie soldier, who’s wedged halfway through the windshield of a car. Rick tries pulling him out by the feet, and the zombie’s foot comes off. Ha-ha! He pulls some more and the guy’s legs come off. Ha-ha! again. Rick finally gets him out of the windshield glass. Michonne joins him and they push the car toward the gap. He realizes that the breaks don’t work, and all of a sudden there’s gunfire from a soldier zombie. Michonne jumps into the trunk, and Rick steers the car to the opening in the fence. Zombies surround the car and claw at it. Rick says it was a great plan, and Michonne agrees that it was.

They jump off the car and behind some ride barricades. They run through the fairgrounds, the zombies trailing behind. They knock over the test-your-strength game, and it blocks the zombies for a bit. Rick asks if Michonne wants to go, but they both think they can do this. Rick goes in front of the Ferris wheel and coaxes the zombies forward. Michonne does the same thing by the big slide. As the zombies get to the gate, they’re dispatched; heads rolling, eyeballs squishing, blood spurting. Rick sees the deer, and jumps onto the Ferris wheel, climbing up to the top. He’s about to shoot the deer as zombies are coming toward it, and he falls off. Oh crap.

Rick is down, but grabs the gun, and starts shooting the zombies. Michonne runs toward him, gun drawn. When she gets there, she sees the zombies circled around something, eating. She looks sick, and tears roll down her face. She drops her sword. The zombies start to come toward her. She backs away, but she’s not herself.

Like Superman, Rick jumps out of a crate, and throws the sword to Michonne. They slice and dice the zombies. They hug, and Rick says he tried.

They gather up the guns. A lot of guns. Michonne has a moment.

It’s quiet on the ride back, but they got tons of supplies. I’d be hiding some of those somewhere. Rick pulls the van into the forest. He wishes they could have spent more time away. He says he hasn’t been sleeping, thinking about what they’ve lost, and the friends he couldn’t save. He says they went through something, and this doesn’t cure it. Michonne says she’s sorry. He says they’re going to fight them. They’re going to lose people, maybe even each other, but it will be worth it. Michonne says she can’t lose him. Rick says she’d asked him what kind of life they’d have by just surrendering, and it would be no life. Fighting the fight is living, making a future for Judith and the others. He says she can lose him. It’s not about them anymore; it’s about a future. If he doesn’t make it, she’ll have to lead, and she can. She asks how he knows, and he says she led him there.

Back at the Heapsters heap, Jadis asks if the guns are all operational. Rick says they need cleaning up. There are over sixty guns, but Jadis says it’s not enough. Rosita suggests they leave and take their guns with them. Jadis says no, and they haggle. Jadis gets to nine and they get the cat back, and Rick says twenty, and they fight together. Jadis says yes, and if they get more soon, they’ll fight. Everyone wanders around looking like they’re doing something important. Michonne tells Rick they have a few more days before what happens next. They’ll figure it out in a few more days.

Back in Alexandria, Tara is looking for Rick. He asks if she’s okay, and if she’s seen Rosite, who hasn’t shown up for her shift. Tara suggests that maybe she went out looking for more guns. She says she has something to tell Rick.

Rosita stomps through the streets, and sees Sasha at Abe’s grave. She says she needs Sasha’s help. Sasha says under one condition – she gets to take the shot. Rosita agrees. She asks if Rosita brought explosives, but Rosita felt that was taking too much of a chance. She has something better. She brings out a bazooka, and hands it to Sasha, so she can take her shot. Rosita says that Rick and Michonne found guns and the Heapsters wanted more guns. She thinks that means more excuses. She tells Sasha that she’s memorized what Carl and Daryl told Rick about the Saviors’ camp. Sasha says she has a map that Jesus drew for her. They discuss how they can’t be caught alive, and it’s a one way ticket for both of them.

Next time, Ezekiel rises up, Carol emerges, and there are lots more guns.

💣 Feud: Bette and Joan is perfection! The casting couldn’t be better, and the topic couldn’t be more current. For all the equality whining going around, not many people talk about how ageist our society is, and the scope is even narrower for actresses in Hollywood. Way back when, Joan Crawford recognized this, and brought the novel, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? by Henry Farrell, to Bette Davis’s attention, thinking it was the perfect vehicle for them both. Being no slouch in the brains department herself, Bette agreed, the rest is history, and their feud is legendary.

While both women are gone from this world, so there’s no one to confirm or deny, this interpretation of their relationship shows an almost softer side. While hating each other on a certain level, neither could deny the other’s talent or their admiration for it. Although “frenemy” wasn’t a term back then, they were the perfect example of it.

The cast is chock full of exceptional actors and actresses, like Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, and Stanley Tucci. I was also pleasantly surprised to see Jackie Hoffman playing Mamasita, Joan’s right hand person. I recognized her right away, pointing and shouting “Penny’s mother!” at the TV, as I’d seen her on Broadway in Hairspray.

And lest we not forget one star of any period drama – the clothes and props. So far, I’m enthralled. One of my favorite things in the world are those brocade dresses with matching coats that were so popular in the 1960s. My favorite Barbie outfit will forever be Evening Splendor. (However, I would not have paired the green/blue bag with this.)

barbieeveningsplendor

Dec5

December 4, 2016 – Emma Lives in a Dreamworld, Negan Wants to Live in Alexandria & Westworld Lives On for Another Season – But When?

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

The Evil Queen tells Regina that she wants “the best version of us.” She says the only way for Regina to hurt her is to hurt herself, and tells her that love is weakness. Emma uses her sword to slice the Evil Queen’s cheek and nothing happens to Regina. The evil queen disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke, and Emma says it’s possible kill her.

The Evil Queen reappears elsewhere. Gold tells her it looks like the Savior found a weapon. He says he can focus on finding his son and she can prepare to die. He puts the cuff on her so he can track her whereabouts. It’s like a GPS. He says at the end of the day, if Emma hasn’t done away with her, after he’s done finding his son, hell gladly finish the job.

Snow sleeps. Emma says the Evil Queen needs to die. Hook tells her not to do it. Henry says what if this is how she dies? There’s no face under the hood in her vision, so for all they know, the queen kills her. Emma has a mini vision. She tells Regina to stay with Henry. Hook, David, and Emma set off to face the queen. They hear a cry for help and run into Granny’s. Jasmine is tied to a chair. The Evil Queen says it’s not about Jasmine, it’s about her – always. She can snap Jasmine’s neck before they step any closer. She rubs the lamp and Aladdin appears, poof! in a cloud of yellow smoke. She says she has three wishes. He says they come at a price. She says she’s not going to wish for her, but something someone else wants. She wishes that Emma’s wish to not be the Savior be granted. Emma says no, and charges forward. Aladdin raises his hand and she disappears. No poof or anything though. I just thought. What if you weren’t done with your three wishes yet, and someone else got ahold of the lamp? Does that mean you lose out?

Somewhere, it’s Emma’s birthday. She’s a princess and the palace is celebrating. She didn’t wish for anything, since everything she’s ever wanted is already there. Snow and David are now king and queen, and older. Snow asks Emma what’s wrong. Emma says she had a dream that the queen was successful with her curse and she was the Savior. Snow says that was avoided. Emma says she was in a fantastical land, but David says it was just a dream. Emma says when she woke up, she found this, and shows them a sword that was under her bed – the same one as in Storybrooke Emma’s vision. Henry runs in saying he had been practicing for tomorrow and sorry he’s late. He thinks the sword is for him. Emma says his father would be proud, and he says he wishes he’d known him. They look at his portrait, and Emma says he’s watching over Henry. David says time to celebrate, and Snow tells Henry put the sword away; this family is done fighting. Henry gets a weird look on his face. Or maybe it’s just me reading too much into it.

Back in the future, Hook and David start to argue, and Regina says that’s just what the Evil Queen wants. Regina says she’s thrown a lot of punches, but she knows a way to get her back.

Gold makes magic that includes a strand of his hair. He asks a globe to show him his son. Nope. Didn’t happen.

Aladdin makes a martini for the Evil Queen. She tells him it’s a request though, not a wish. She flirts with Aladdin and he says, eww. Regina walks in. The Evil Queen tells her that wishes can’t be undone, but tells her to have a seat, and tells Aladdin to make another drink. She says there was a time all Regina wanted was to tear Snow and David apart and kick Emma out of Storybrooke, and now it’s been done. She gives a one-sided toast. She tells Regina she’s won and can’t even admit it, but that victory feels luxurious. Regina says she’s right, they are the same person, so she’s not the only master of the lamp.

Regina asks to be sent to the same place as Emma. Aladdin obeys.

Regina is in a beautiful wood. She calls out for Emma. She hears the dwarfs whistling on their way to work, and asks if they’ve seen Emma. They think the Evil Queen is back and Grumpy tells the others to run and warn everyone that the war isn’t over.

Regina sees a statue marking the spot where she was defeated by Snow and David. She sees Emma dancing around, carrying a basket of flowers, and humming Someday My Prince Will Come. Regina frightens her, but she says she’s Emma’s friend and none of this is real. Emma thinks she’s the Evil Queen and tells her that she’s been banished. Regina says she risked her life coming here because Emma is the Savior and her family needs her.

An arrow nearly misses her. David and Snow have arrived. David tells Regina that this is their kingdom now. Snow says they’re protecting their people. Regina tries to convince Emma that this isn’t real, saying some part of Emma must know. David tries to attack her with his sword, and she disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Moving forward, David is freaking out. He wants to get the lamp. Hook stops him and says they’re out-gunned and they need a plan. Jasmine wonders what the Evil Queen is doing to Aladdin. Probably not what she’d like to be doing. David says to meet him at the sheriff’s station in an hour. The Evil Queen’s reign ends today.

Somewhere in the Enchanted Forest, Regina goes into a mountain where there’s a prison cell. Rumpelstiltskin is in it, humming the tune of the day, Someday My Prince Will Come. He tells her to come closer and says the apprentice is back to see the old master. Regina says she needs his help. He says she’s his biggest failure, so why would he help? She says she’s not the Evil Queen in this reality, and it’s not even a reality, it’s all fake – he’s fake. She says the world was created by a wish to trap Emma.

Rumpel says maybe he can help her and wants a deal. Regina says he’s not even real. He says he wants his freedom in return, and she says it’s not worth it. He says if the world isn’t real, what’s the harm? She says he has a point, but she knows better than to deal with him in any realm. He tells her that every Savior needs a villain, and that a real queen with purpose can remind Emma that the world needs a savior. Show her inner darkness, and the Savior will be reborn. Regina says they’re just old friends talking, so they haven’t made a deal. Rumpel says she doesn’t know the way back to Storybrooke. Regina wonders how he knows the name of the town she’s from, and he says he can find her a magic bean, but it will cost her. She opens the cell.

He says he needs fresh air and starts to go, but she asks about the bean. He tells her to meet him tomorrow at noon by the lake. He says if she wants to be an Evil Queen, she should look like one. In a puff of purple smoke, poof! she changes into an Evil Queen outfit. He tells her to go be evil.

In Storybrooke time, Gold sees Belle. She says he sped up her pregnancy and the fairies sped up her recovery. He tells her their son is gone; he’s not anywhere. He says he knows his words mean nothing, so he’ll give her actions. He gives Belle a card with Mother Superior’s number, so she can verify his story. Mother Superior isn’t doing too well. She’s been walloped by the Black Fairy who’s kidnapped Gideon.

Where fairy tales happen, everyone gathers for Prince Henry to be knighted. He makes his entrance wearing some really cool copper armor. Snow takes the infamous sword out, and she and David say the stuff you say when you knight someone. Before Henry can be dubbed, Regina as the Evil Queen pops in and says sorry she’s late. She throws the knights aside and freezes David and Snow, saying she vows to destroy their happiness. Emma asks her not to hurt her parents. Regina says hurting them is the point, unless she knows a hero who can stop her (wink-wink). Emma begs for mercy. Regina tells her to look for the hero, and when you find one, you know where to find us. The three disappear, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

In Storybrooke, the real Evil Queen confronts David. He tries to attack her, and she blows him back with magic. She tells him that he can’t kill her. He picks up the lamp, saying he can do something much worse. He rubs the lamp and Aladdin appears. He tells Aladdin that he has a new master. So back to my original question. She loses the one she has left now? Or is it just postponed? What are the lamp rules?

The Evil Queen tells David not to dabble in forces he doesn’t understand. Aladdin reminds him wishes come with a price. He says the only one paying a price will be her. He wishes the Evil Queen gets what she deserves. Nothing happens. Aladdin says he granted the wish. The Evil Queen says David wasted it. She wanted to tear the family apart and she did. She already has what she deserves. Okay, so doesn’t he have two more wishes now? This is the kind of nonsense I think about while watching this.

David rushes her, and she stops him mid-stride. Hook and Jasmine enter. Hook says they have the lamp and the Evil Queen is lost. She drops David, saying death is too good for him and she’d rather watch him suffer. She disappears, poof! You know the rest.

In the unreal world, the Evil Queen has the Charmings prisoner. Prince David says they always defeat her. Emma shows up with a box. Regina says she knew Emma would find the hero in her, but it’s the key to the kingdom. Emma wants to surrender. Regina says she doesn’t want the key; she just wants Emma to get back to Storybrooke. Emma says that was the name of the place in her dream. Regina says this is the dream, and she’s going to have to wake her. She takes David and Snow’s hearts and says stop her or they die. Emma says she’s not the Savior. Regina says she knows how to fight when she has to and crushes the hearts to dust. Emma starts to weep. Regina says she doesn’t remember and can’t fight. Henry comes in and says the Evil Queen will pay. Emma tries to stop him. He says he has the sword. Regina says she won’t fight, and Henry throws the sword at her. Emma stops it, surprising herself. Regina says she saved her. Emma says Regina came to this crazy land to save her, so it’s fair. She remembers. She asks if her parents are dead, and Regina reminds her that they’re not real. Emma thanks Regina, and says, but it was very dark. She tells Regina let’s go stop the real Evil Queen.

Walking the streets of Storybrooke at night, the Evil Queen says the town is almost tolerable when the peasantry is hidden away. A hooded figure comes out of Granny’s. She asks who the hell are you? and gets blown back. She starts to follow, and the hooded figure turns her into a cobra in a cage.

It’s time for Regina and Emma to go back, and Regina wonders where Rumpel is. Surprisingly, he shows up. He tells her to throw the bean and think of where she wants to go. He disappears, poof! in a puff of red smoke.

At the Charming’s Storybrooke apartment, David is worried that he’s like his brother. Hook tells him to grow up and kiss his wife. Jasmine comes in with the lamp, and suggests that David use it to break the curse with Snow. He gives it back to her, trusting she’ll be wise with it. She says that she and Aladdin have to find Agribah. Henry asks if she’s sure, and she says they have to make the sacrifice. Aladdin gives Henry a pendant for Emma, from one savior to another. Jasmine wishes to go to Agribah and they disappear. Okay, I wasn’t totally paying attention, but it was probably poof! in a puff of yellow smoke.

Grumpy comes in with the snake. He tells them it’s the Evil Queen and a guy in a hood put her in there. David asks if he saw who was under the hood.

The hooded figure comes into Gold’s shop. It’s Gold and Belle’s son, Gideon.

At the lake, Regina throws the bean and it turns into a green whirlpool. She and Emma are about to leap in, when arrows fly past them. It’s Robin. He says it’s a robbery and to give him their jewelry. Regina is mesmerized, seeing him again, and starts to walk toward him. Emma tells her he’s not real, but she doesn’t pay attention. The whirlpool disappears.

In March, a war is coming to Storybrooke where romance, danger and hope collide.

The Walking Dead

Michonne walks along the road, whistling Farmer in the Dell. A zombie lumbers out of the forest. And another. They trail behind her. She drops her bag, stabs one in the head and decapitates the other. She drags the headless one’s body away. Her radio sits unattended.

Jesus and Carl are in the back of the truck with the scotch. Jesus cuts open the bottom of one of the boxes. He opens one of the bottles and leaves a trail, like breadcrumbs. He tells Carl that they should bail and walk the rest of the way. He says to roll with the fall and stay in the blind spot. Jesus goes first and Carl waves good-by. Brat!

The truck stops. A guy picks up the box that Jesus cut, and the bottom falls out. Carl shoots a few people and says no one else needs to die, he just wants Negan. Negan comes out whistling (what’s up with that tonight?) and says he’s adorable. He asks if Carl picked the gun because it looks cool. A couple of people rush Carl and he shoots, but gets pulled down. Negan tells Dwight to back off, saying that’s no way to treat a new guest and he wants to show him around.

Negan tells Carl he has the same stank eye as his dad, but half as good since he only has one eye. What a card! We see the zombie target practice or whatever it is, and Daryl is in with the zombies. Negan asks him how the job is going. I hope it pays well. Carl lets Negan help him up. Dwight takes Daryl out to learn grub prep. Carl asks what he’s going to do to him. Negan tells him not to shatter his image of him as a bad-ass and says screw him if he thinks he’s going to ruin the surprise.

He taks Carl into a warehouse. A bunch of people are there they kneel when they see Negan. He tells them to work hard and play by the rules. He says everyone gets fresh vegetables tonight for dinner – no points needed. They applaud, and he tells Carl that respect is cool.

Eugene and Rosita walk to the gate. She says they aren’t doing anything for Negan. Spencer tells her not to fight it. Father Gabriel says maybe they should all go together. Spencer says they have to produce for the Saviors; it’s like taxes. He tells Rosita not to be pissed at him. He didn’t do this; Rick did. She tells him to pay his taxes from all the stuff he stole and leave her alone. She leaves with Eugene. Spencer gets into the car with Gabriel.

Negan shows Carl his harem. He tells him to knock himself out. He asks Sherry if he can talk to her. They step aside and he asks what happened with Amber and Mark she says what they talk about when he’s not there is none of his business. Wow. She’s brave. He tells her that he heard Mark skipped out on a directive and needs to know if it’s true. He says there are rules for a reason and nothing matters if you’re dead. She tells him to calm down, but he says he’s never hit any of them. She says what he does is worse. He smiles and says, to be continued.

Negan gives Carl a beer. Amber is crying. He tells her he doesn’t want anyone there who doesn’t want to be there. If she wants to leave and go back to Mark, she can. But she can’t cheat on him. He says there are plenty of gals who would like to take her place. He suggests he put her on the same job as Mark and her mom. I’m assuming they’re on zombie duty. She tells him no, and he says she knows what that means. She tells him she loves him and he says of course, and that it will all work out for her.

Negan tells Sherry that he wasn’t hard on her, and she calls him an a-hole. They start kissing. Dwight brings in Daryl, who’s job tonight is serving hors d’oevres. Daryl asks why Carl is here. Negan says what they talk about when he isn’t here is none of his business, and not to make him put the toothpick in his hand through the only eye Carl has. He tells Dwight to fire up the furnace. It’s time for deja vu. Daryl lingers and Dwight pulls him out the door.

Rick tells Aaron they only have today to find something. The climb over a fence that has a sign saying the only thing to be found there is trouble.

Spencer drives with Gabriel. He asks if thoughts are a sin, but Gabriel says they’re just thoughts; it’s our actions that matter in the end. Spencer says he hates Rick, and that his mother served in congress and brought out the good in people. Gabriel says Rick brought out the good in him by inspiring him; he kept everyone together. He says it wasn’t Rick’s fault. Gabriel says that Spencer looks at it a different way, but they’re here now and can look to the future. Spencer says what future? There isn’t any with Rick in charge. He says the only good thing that could happen is Rick not making it back. Gabriel tells him to stop the car.

He tells Spencer that what he’s saying doesn’t make him a sinner, but does make him a tremendous sh*t. Just for now; it doesn’t have to be terminal. He gets out of the car and says he’s going back. Spencer gets out and jets into the forest. He sees a zombie hunter up on a blind.

In Negan’s parlor, Carl asks Negan if the women are actually his wives. Negan says he thought why not make life better? He tells Carl to sit and says let’s get started. He wants to get to know Carl better. He says Carl is smart. He’d expect a kid his age to be moping around, but instead he has a mission. He came looking for Negan, but he’s not going to let things slide. He asks if Carl really wants to piss him off, and asks to see Carl’s non-eye. Carl takes his bandana off and Negan goes on about how gross it is. He asks to touch it. What is he, ten? He says it’s easy to forget Carl is just a kid, and he was just screwing around.

There’s a knock at the door. Fat Joseph brings Lucille in, telling Negan that he left it by the truck. Negan tells Carl that it might not be a hit with hit ladies, but no one will want to screw with someone who looks like him. He asks Fat Joseph if he treated Lucille like a lady. He makes a joke, Fat Joseph laughs, and Negan tells him get out. He tells Carl that this is the sh*t his dad should be teaching him – men busting each other’s balls. I could almost like this guy.

Negan asks what Carl does for fun and if he likes music. He wants Carl to sing. He says that Carl mowed down two of his men, and he wants something in return. Carl is like, no, and Negan points Lucille at him and says start singing. Carl starts to sing You Are My Sunshine. Negan swings the bat around as Carl sings badly. He tells Carl not to let him be a distraction. Carl starts crying and now I want to hit him with the bat. No offense to the teen and tween hearts that are going pitty-pat right now.

Carl finishes the song, and Negan says Lucille loves being sung to more than she loves bashing brains, and mentions how weird that is. It’s weird all right. He asks if Carl’s mother sang that to him, and where she is now. By Carl’s reaction, Negan knows she’s dead, and he asks if Carl saw it happen. Carl says he shot her before she could turn. Negan says no wonder he’s a serial killer in the making, and tells him that was an example of breaking balls. He tells Carl to get up, because it should be ready.

Dwight tends the furnace. The crowd is back in the warehouse. Negan comes in, banging Lucille along the banister. He tells Carl to hold the bat. He tells the people that they know the deal. What’s going to happen will be hard to watch. He doesn’t want to do this, but he has to. Why? Because rules keep us in line. They survive and provide security to others, which is civilization. To the world, they’re the Saviors, but they can’t do it without rules. Rules make it work. It’s not easy, but there’s always a cost. If you try to cut corners, it’s the iron for you. He tells everyone to get up from their kneeling positions.

Mark is tied to a chair and Negan approaches him. Dwight takes a literal iron from the fire. Negan says, sorry, but it is what it is. Mark gets on iron on his face, and even Dwight can’t look. Mark passes out. Negan says it wasn’t so bad. Carl and Daryl lock eyes. Negan says Mark peed himself and tells Daryl to clean it up. He tells the doctor to do his thing.

Negan tells the crowd everything is cool. Let Mark’s face be a daily reminder that the rules matter. He hopes they all learned something, because he doesn’t want to have to do this again. He says Carl probably thinks he’s a lunatic. He says let’s figure out what to do with you, and leads Carl away.

Spencer gets a rope. He jiggles the hunter’s plaform until his weapon falls. Poor dude is just hanging there, and Spencer finally gets him down and goes through his pockets. There’s a note in there that I can’t read, but Spencer finds it of interest.

Rosita and Eugene go to the auto shop or whatever it is. Eugene says he didn’t want to come back here, and tells her no. She says she asked him to make her a bullet and he said yes, so make one. He says he can’t figure out any way it makes sense, and wants her to slow her roll. She says she’s not waiting, and he tells her that she’s being stupid. He’s analyzed it top to bottom, and Abe was right; they have the numbers. He says even if she’s willing to pay the price, it’s unlikely she’ll be the one who pays it. She says he’s not talking her out of it. He owes her and Abe. She says he’s a coward and weak. The only reason he’s alive is because he lied, and people feel sorry for him. She tells him to do something useful and make her a bullet. Eugene gets the bullet-making stuff ready.

Sherry is in the stairwell having a smoke. Dwight joins her. He tells her not to beat herself up about selling out Mark. She says that’s not what happened. Okay, don’t tell us or anything. He says whatever helps you sleep at night. For him, it’s watching TV until morning. She leaves before they get caught.

Carl wants his bandana back on, and Negan says no; he’s not done with him and he likes looking at his rat-ass bad-ass eye. Ha-ha! If nothing else, Negan is colorful. Carl asks why he hasn’t killed him, Rick or Daryl. Negan says Daryl is going to make a good soldier, and Carl’s dad is already getting him great stuff. As for him, they’ll see. It’s more productive and fun to break him. He asks what Carl thinks he should do. Does he kill him, iron his face, chop off his arm, what? Carl says he should jump out the window to save him the trouble of killing him. Negan says there’s the kid he knows and loves. Carl says he’s not doing anything and won’t. He should kill them, but he can’t. Negan says maybe he’s right and decides they should go on a ride. I’m not sure what to think about this exchange.

Jesus is on the top of the truck that Negan and Carl pull out in. Negan calls Daryl over. He says he’s taking the kid home. Daryl says if you do anything to him – and Negan tells Dwight that Daryl needs a time out and to put him in the box for a while. Daryl looks up while he’s being led away. There’s no Jesus on the top when it leaves though.

A note is slipped under Daryl’s cell door. it says go now.

Zombie piles! There’s a blockade of zombies in the road, and a woman has to stop her car. Michone comes out of nowhere and tells her to drop her weapons. She asks if Michonne wants her shoes too. Michonne says take her to Negan. They get in the car. The woman breaks quickly and tries to get the better of Michonne, but that doesn’t happen. Michonne tells her again to take her to Negan.

In Alexandria, Negan visits Olivia. He’s all happy and asks where Rick is. She says scavenging for him, and he says he’ll wait. She says they might not be back today. They’re out of everything and practically starving. He notes her weight and says not really. He’s so obviously mean, it’s funny. She starts crying, and he tells her she has no sense of humor. He apologizes for being rude, and says he thinks it would be enjoyable to screw her brains out if she’s agreeable. She slaps him. He says he’s about 50% more into her now. Okay, I have to say at this moment he made me laugh out loud. He asks her to make them lemonade.

When she leaves, he tells Carl to take him on the grand tour. He plays with the water and a dartboard while we hear a country tune. He sees baby Judith and loves on her, doing the coochy-coo thing.

Rick sneaks around with Aaron. They see a sign with long explaination and warning. It says if they’ve goten this far without being shot, the dude is dead. Maybe. They see a lake or river with zombies bobbing around in it.

Rosita has her bullet. She thanks Eugene and says she’s sorry for what she said. He says maybe the words, but not the intent. She meant it, she felt it, that’s her truth, and he’d like silence now. She got what she wanted and is just feeling bad.

Spencer drives up with a load of cans. He says they got it off a dead guy, and found all kinds of stuff like medical supplies. Rosita says he’s just going to give it to them ? He says that’s what Rick said to do, so that’s what they’re going to do. The gate to Alexiandria is opened, and they see that Negan is there.

Negan is on the porch, rocking Judith. He tells Carl that he likes it there, and might have to stay. He wonders why he’s trying so hard to keep Carl and Rick alive. Maybe he should bury them in a flower bed and settle into the suburbs.

Next time, the mid-season finale…sigh…

👢 Quick Westworld mention. After making a few failed attempts at watching HBO’s new drama, I caught a marathon a couple of weekends ago. It took me a minute, but I decided I’m in. I thought they were a bit heavy on the sub-plots, but let that pass because it’s so damned fascinating. I love me some Ed Harris and James Marsden as well. Obviously, it’s a far cry from the 1973 film, which I probably saw ten times in the theater. I could watch Yul Brynner chase Richard Benjamin around all day, and it was a lot cheaper back then.  (Digression: I was blessed to see Yul Brynner in a revival of The King and I on Broadway in the late 70s. Shall We Dance? is forever burned into my mind as one of my all time favorite moments in theater.) I do have the same desire with the series as I did for the original film – I’d like to see more of the park. It’s touched on by both that there are other worlds, most notably Roman World and Midieval World, but we don’t see much of them. I’d like to see those explored further, and it’s been hinted at that this will happen. Sadly, I also heard that Westworld might not return until 2018. Like Nancy Kerrigan, I cry, why? why?

Nov28

November 27, 2016 – We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Squid Ink & Tara’s Oceanside Vacation

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Gold ties up one of Blue’s fairy nuns, poof! in a puff of red smoke. The Evil Queen joins him. He wants her to take care of Zelena, but she’s not willing to kill her sister for him. He claims he’s come to his senses as far as Belle loving him is concerned. Gold says he’s going to send a message via fairy and dumps some gold sprinkles on the nun, making her turn old.

Belle tells the group that Gold is going to do the same thing to her to speed the baby along. She says he’s trying to scare her into going back to him, but it’s still a no.

Back in the day, Rumpelstiltskin brings a baby to Belle, asking her to take care of it. She asks where its parents are, but Rumpel says it doesn’t matter, the baby is his now. Belle realizes he stole the child, and wonders what happened to him to make him so awful. She asks the baby’s name, but he says you don’t waste a name on something you’re not going to become attached to. She asks what he’s going to do with the baby. He says he’ll be back at sundown and don’t even think of hiding it.

Back in Storybrooke, Belle finds a book on defeating the Dark One. It tells her to follow the strand. Voila! She look down and there’s a red strand in the form of a glowing red ribbon. She follows it. It leads to the shears, but they disappear when she tries to take them. She says she’s in the dreamworld and her son appears. He’s come to warn her. He says she followed the strand of his fate, and his father intends to use the shears. He tells her the answer is inside of her and she has to move quickly.

Snow and Jasmine grade papers. Jasmine thinks Aladdin found a way to find Agribah, but she’s worried about what the price will be for finding it. Snow tells her to be the princess she was meant to be.

Emma and Belle peruse the book Belle was looking at. Hook says the magic is in the ink and Emma thinks she can extract it.

Back at ye olde palace, Belle reads a story to Nameless Baby. She wonders what Rumpel is planning. She leaves, carrying the sleeping baby in a basket.

The Evil Queen visits Zelena. She says Gold sent her, and suggests they take it outside. In the backyard, the Evil Queen tells Zelena enough games; let’s end it. She slams Zelena up against a shed, but as she’s about to finish her off, she clutches her heart. Regina is standing behind her and says it’s her heart. She’s willing to crush it to stop her twin. Zelena tells her it’s because of Rumpel, who says it’s either her or him. Regina says he lied. The Evil Queen has a hole in her heart, and she’s so desperate, she believed him. She tells the Evil Queen they’re done with her, and she disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Hook goes to Gold’s shop. Gold is about to zap him, but Emma gets him first, and using the squid ink, puts Gold in freeze mode. Emma and Hook start to look for the shears, and Emma has a vision. She’d thought they’d stopped, and it throws her totally off-balance. In the meantime, Gold becomes animated again and leaves the shop.

Gold finds Belle, telling her that he’s far too powerful to be beaten by squid ink. She tells him it’s never going to happen, and he says he can’t lose another son. Belle stumbles backward into the elevator. She asks why he’s doing this. He says he can never be who she wants him to be. He says when they met, he told her that he was a difficult man to love, but he’s come to believe that he’s actually a man no one can love. With his son, he can start over. Belle says she never wanted him to be perfect, just to try. He says he did and look what happened. He thinks all they have is magic, and she reminds him that it comes with a price. She says he’ll lose her forever and asks if that’s a price he’s willing to pay.

In olden times, Belle takes the baby to library tower. She sees an incantation from the Black Fairy. She wonders out loud what Rumpel would need with that, and Rumpel appears, saying it’s for him to know and her not to find out. He says he doesn’t speak fairy, but he has her. He makes the baby disappear, and says she can stay there for a while, in case she has any ideas about stopping him.

Regina heals Zelena’s wounds. Zelena says she should have been the one to reach out, but Regina says she didn’t come here to apologize; she came to steal something for a spell to reverse the fairy’s aging. When Zelena questions why she didn’t just ask for help, Regina says she didn’t think Zelena could be trusted after what she’s done. Zelena realizes that Regina still holds her responsible for Robin’s death and asks what about forgiveness. Regina says she can do a lot, even spare Zelena’s life, but can never forgive her.

Jasmine rubs the lamp that Aladdin gave her, and a gold cuff pops out, poof! in a cloud of yellow smoke, but Aladdin tells her the genie has been freed. He puts the cuff on himself. She tells him he’ll be a prisoner of the lamp now, but he thinks it can help them find Agribah. He tells her let’s find out and goes into the lamp. I wonder if it has tiny couch inside, like in I Dream of Jeannie.

The Evil Queen lambastes Gold. She tells him even if he could be the person Belle wanted him to be, how long would it last? She says this time, Belle has a child to protect, and she’ll do what she should have done long ago. Leave and take the child, and he’ll be alone. He tells her to look in the mirror, and not to question him again. He says they’re done and to get out.

In the tower, Belle bangs at the door with a metal thing. She calls for help. She opens the little window in the door, and the Blue Fairy flies in. Belle says she needs Blue to get her out. Blue says they have to stop Rumpel before he gets to the Black Fairy, who stopped defending the children she was supposed to protect and started stealing them. Rumpel is going to use the baby to lure her. Blue says Belle is the only one who can help. She opens the door and Belle scurries out.

At Granny’s, Hook tells Emma that they have to make sure Gold can’t use the magic on Belle. Belle sips tea while Hook grills Emma about her vision. She tells him that there was something new. The sword used to kill her had a glowing red jewel in it. Belle says something about the tea, and she’s suddenly about to give birth.

In the enchanted forest, Rumpel does an incantation to bring forth the Black Fairy. She’s very punk looking. He tells her she can’t have the baby yet and she asks who summons her. He squid ink freezes her and she realizes who he is. She says squid ink won’t hold her long. He brings out a dagger as back-up, and asks why she abandoned the one child that was hers. She says it can’t be and he says it can, mother. Hard to believe Rumpel was once a baby. He says she didn’t even bother to give him a name. He asks why she abandoned him. She says she’s surprised he’d even ask, and sometimes you have to choose power over love. She tells him time’s up, and he’ll just have to keep on wondering. She flies off and Belle is standing there with the baby.

She says he didn’t deserve what the fairy did, but sacrificing an innocent child isn’t the answer, no matter how much pain he’s in. He says no one knows anything about his pain and woe is him, and disappears, poof! in cloud of scarlet smoke.

Fast forward to Gold saying behind every pita there’s a fairy. He tries to go toward the house where Belle is giving birth, and is held back by fairy magic.

With Emma and the aged fairy in attendance, Belle goes into her dreamworld and meets her son on a swing set. She says his father’s coming and will use the shears. She needs to know what to do, but he says she already knows. She jumps up and says she can’t. He says there’s no other way; they’re out of time. She says she loves him more than anything, and he says he won’t ever forget it. He tells her not to forget the book. As she asks what book? she’s back in the bed pushing.

Belle has her son. She’s asked for Blue, and says she needs her help. She asks if Blue will be his fairy godmother, and take him somewhere safe and far away. She says it’s her sons only chance. She thinks it will be over someday, but until then, she wants distance between him and Storybrooke. Blue agrees and takes the baby. Belle gives Blue a book to read to him so he knows where he came from. She tells him she loves him and blah-blah- blah, stuff you would say in that position.

Gold enters, but Blue is already gone with the baby. Foiled again! He looks out the window and sees Blue soaring away. He accuses Belle of abandoning their son. She says she gave him his best chance at a good life and tells Gold that it’s over. Belle says he can do what he wants with her, but he’ll never find their son. Gold says he will, and leaves.

In the old days, A couple gets their son back from Belle as Rumpel watches. Foiled again in the past!

Gold goes into his shop and the Evil Queen asks if someone lost another son. He tells her don’t, and she says Belle really hates him now. He tells her to go, and she says she’s waited a long time to see what happens when you poison your love. He says she did it. She says she did the legwork with the tea, but he forced her hand. She says just tell Belle, no, wait, she won’t believe him. He tells her she crossed the line and he’ll make sure she pays. The Evil Queen says she’s not too concerned. He says he plays a very long game, and she’s nothing more than another pawn. She tells him good luck finding his son – again – adding that fairies make wonderful mothers.

Gold is abashed and beaten. He trashes his place, smashing everything.

Hook says Regina was able to reverse the aging spell on the fairy, and Belle is as good as expected after what happened. Emma says that’s why she keeps fighting. Belle remnded her why she doesn’t run. She wants to help her family and friends. Hook knows the vision is still getting to her. She suggest they find out what really happened to her.

They go into Gold’s shop, and Emma says someone had a temper tantrum. She sees the sword that was in her dream. When she touches it, she has a vision. She says this is the sword that will kill her. Now that they have it, they can find out who’s responsible and stop them.

Next time, be careful what you wish for, Emma disappears, and the course of fairy tale could be altered forever.

The Walking Dead

A zombie flounders on the beach and gets a stick in his head for his trouble. A child and young woman are walking on the beach. The child sees another one, but as she’s about to stab it, the woman says to wait. She says the woman isn’t “a bobber,” she’s alive.The child wants to do it anyway, but is told that they don’t have to if they don’t tell anyone. She asks if the child is going to be a snitch. The child says no, but she’s not going to help.

It’s Tara washed up on shore. The woman drags her in.

Two rusty cans of okra and a bottle of aspirin are all Tara and Heath could find on their run. Heath says it’s been two weeks. They need ammo and medicine and there are people counting on him. He talks about all the people they killed just for some milk and corn. He says you take what you can and take out who you have to and keep going, but no one is in this together anymore. Tara says it only hurts because he knows it’s bullsh*t. Heath says it’s him, her, and whoever else wants to stay alive. He tells her that after today, they go back.

The woman from the beach looks at a map. She brings water, a weapon, and something wrapped in a cloth to Tara. Tara is still unconscious, so she leaves everything next to her. When she’s gone, Tara drinks some water, watching from behind a huge tangle of driftwood. She finds dried fish in the cloth. She follows the woman while keeping her distance.

They go through a forest. Tara sees some women talking while carrying baskets into a cabin. Children are playing outside, and it looks like it was once some kind of resort. It’s now a mini-colony called Oceanside. Tara stealthily checks the place out. Looks like it’s also all women.

Something is happening. Several women go inside a shed that houses weapons and come running out with guns, and the rest flee inside. They start shooting at Tara. She runs and they chase her. One catches up but falls. Tara gets the gun, but doesn’t shoot her. She continues to run. The kid from the beach confronts Tara, saying they’re supposed to. The woman who was with her calls her name, Rachel, and stops her.

The rest surround Tara with their guns drawn. Tara says hi, she’s cool, and not here to hurt anyone. The young woman, whose name is Cindy, tells them to put their guns down, but she’s told to get away. Tara says sorry, she just stumbled in, and didn’t even realize she was in. The women continue to aim their guns at her.

In the backstory, Heath and Tara stand on top of a dumpster and survey some possible scavenging. Heath says it looks like there are a lot of blind spots, but they jump down. I would break my ankle for sure if I did that. They look around for a while and go past some tarps that are hanging across part of the road. They see a humongous dump truck that has dropped a load of sand. Tara starts pulling at something in it. Heath is digging around with his foot and finds a ton of bullets. Just as he’s about to tell her Tara, the tug she makes causes the sand to shift and come tumbling down. The sand hill is filled with zombies.

They fight them off, but the struggle is real. Heath and Tara get separated in the melee. Tara gets cornered.

Back at the seashore, a lady asks Tara if she needs to use the bathroom before they begin, but Tara indicates that she’s handcuffed to a radiator. There are several women there, and the speaker, Natanya, introduces the others as Cathy and Beatrice, and Cindy, the woman from the beach. Tara asks about the bells she heard, and Natanya explains their alarm system. She says that they were lucky the place was relatively clear to begin with. She asks Tara where she’s from. Tara tells her Atlanta originally, but she’s been traveling with a companion for a few years, and they’ve been working on fishing boats. Natanya asks a few questions and asks how she got there. Tara explains that they were attacked by zombies, she ended up falling off of a bridge and the current brought her there. She says she followed Cindy back from the beach to see if she could get help. She’s asked why she was sneaking around and Tara says she wanted to see if it was safe – and she’s still not sure. Natanya says they usually shoot strangers on sight. Tara says if they just point her in the right direction, she’s gone. I have no idea why these people aren’t satisfied with her answers. Natanya says give them a while and maybe they’ll have a brainstorm as to what to do with this anomaly.

Beatrice fetches Tara, taking her to Natanya’s house. Natanya formally introduces Cindy, who is also her granddaughter, and Tara thanks Cindy for what she did. She says she was trying to show Rachel. Natanya assumes she means how to kill zombies, but Tara knows that she was also teaching her compassion. Everyone sits to eat. Nice dishware.

Natanya says she’s hoping to convince Tara to stay. They can keep their village a secre,t and she can put down roots. She says if they can find Heath, he can stay too. Tara says forgive her, but where are all the men? Natanya says there was a skirmish with another group, and none of them made it. They lost others too. After that, they decided to protect themselves no matter what. They left with nothing except the clothes on their backs. They found this place, and could stay hidden and alive. She hopes Tara understands why they shoot first and don’t bother asking questions. Natanya tells Tara that she knows she was lying about her past, and asks her to tell the truth.

Tara tells her about Alexandria, and how they did things just like they do in Oceanside. She talks about taking out the Saviors, and how they got what they deserved. She says they didn’t do it to make the world a better place, but they did it to stay alive. Tara thinks the women shouldn’t be hiding though. She says if they keep seeing everyone as an enemy, that’s all they’ll find. If they band together, they can keep each other safe.

Natanya suggests sending a guide with Tara to find Heath, and then on to her community. Cindy wants to go, but Natanya tells her no, because she didn’t follow the rules. She says if it works out, there will be other chances, and if not, she doesn’t want her going. Tara says there will be other chances.

Tara gets ready to leave. Cindy is in the cabin sulking, and Natanya sees her off. Beatrice and Cathy go with her. A zombie is stuck in a tangle of tree branches, and Tara says she’s on it, but Beatrice shoots at her and she runs. She tumbles down a hill and stays there, holding her knife. She watches as Cathy comes by with a gun and jumps her. She does not win the battle.

Tara says she could have killed Cathy back in the village, but she didn’t, and to return the favor. Cathy says Tara’s people are all dead. She says that was just a Savior outpost where they killed the people, and Tara has no idea what they did. She says if the Saviors know about her friends, it’s already too late. Tara asks if the Saviors were the ones who killed their men. Cathy says they tried to fight, but lost, and every male over the age of ten was lined up and shot in the head. They were supposed to work for Negan, but they left in the middle of the night. She says Tara will lead the Saviors back to them. She’s about to shoot Tara, when Cindy intercepts her, and Tara takes off.

Cindy calls after her to wait. Cindy aims her gun, but Tara says she’s saved her three times, she isn’t going to shoot. Cindy wants Tara to swear she won’t tell anyone about them, even her own people. Tara asks why she would do that? Cindy asks why they killed all those people? She says they didn’t really have to, and nobody’s evil; they just decide to forget who they are. Tara says some people are evil. She’s seen it, and that’s why she has to go back. Cindy asks her to swear.

Tara says she swears. Cindy gives her a pack of food and water. She says it will take Tara to the bridge, and try not to fall off this time.

Cindy takes Tara back where she was at the dumpsters. Tara tells Cindy to just go back and say that Tara attacked her. Cindy says Cathy and Beatrice will be coming, and she has a gun and ammo. Tara asks why she’s different from the others, and Cindy asks why Tara is.

They sneak around and whack a sand zombie in the head. Cindy is grabbed by a surprise zombie from a car, and Tara nails that one. This alerts two other sand zombies to their presence, and all of a sudden, there are tons of them. More than I think could have fit in that sand pile. Cindy and Tara run along the tops of the cars. Cindy covers Tara as she runs the sand zombie gauntlet. Cindy runs out of of ammo just as Tara gets to the other side.

Tara has a flash back, remembering Heath running out of ammo. She tells him to leave her, but he won’t and she gets pushed back and falls off the bridge. Back in the present, Tara dodges sand and car zombies, one of which gets an eerie bead on her. She looks in between the dumpsters and sees Cindy being led away. She sees Heath’s glasses on the ground. And fresh tire tracks nearby. She says, maybe that was you, then sees a hotel room key with PPP on it, and adds she hopes it was.

Tara scavenges something from a boat and sees a gift shop. Wanting to purchase some sunglasses, or perhaps take a break from the zombies stumbling around outside, she goes in and checks the place out. She eats some of the dried fish that Cindy packed for her. She finds a shell bracelet in the backpack.

Holy! She did get sunglasses. Bright orange ones.

Eugene looks through his binoculars and opens the gate. Tara enters. He stands there and cries.

Rosalie says she’s sorry, and Tara says she’s sorry too. She asks if Tara has any leads. She says she doesn’t care how dangerous it is, she’ll go. She says they can make it right; they have to. Tara says they can’t, and she didn’t see anything like that up there, making good on her promise to Cindy

Next time, Negan and the Saviors (sounds like a band) return, but so does Jesus, so it’s not all bad.

 

Nov14

November 13, 2016 – The World Behind the Mirror is Revealed, the NJ Reunion Drags On & Negan Shakes Down Alexandria

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Snow talks to David while he sleeps. She says maybe this is their normal now. Regina blames herself. She says she’s the only one who can hurt the queen, but Emma doesn’t want her to engage. Emma says her own sentence is already death, and Henry needs one of them to be there.

Snow is about to kiss David, and makes a face like she smells something weird. She looks at the mirror and then throws something at it. The Evil Queen is watching them.

A split screen shows us how Snow and David are living now. They leave notes for each other and videos on the phone. He leaves her flowers all the time. I’m thinking this is a great way to avoid any marital conflict, and wondering how I can arrange this for myself.

Emma visits Regina and asks if she has anything. She says she got an idea when Snow broke the mirror. They might not be able to hurt the queen, but they can imprison her in the world behind the mirror. Henry volunteers to be bait.

Henry meets the Evil Queen on the beach. She tells him that she knows he’s upset about his parents, but someday he’ll understand that you have to make hard choices. She talks about when they used to come there and feed the seagulls. She says he was afraid of them, and he tells her that he’s not afraid of anything now, especially her. He disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. Regina and Emma show up with a mirror, but the Evil Queen tells them that it’s the wrong one because she switched them. She flips the tables (or mirror, as it were) on them, and they end up in the world behind the mirror. The Evil Queen says she hopes they enjoy where they’re going, because it’s where they’re spending the rest of their lives.

Emma wakes up and sees Storybrooke in a mirror. She’s in a room with mirrors everywhere, and calls out for Regina. The camera pans out and it’s a stone room within a forest of mirrors. Emma sees Granny in one of them, and tries to get her attention. Regina appears and tells her they’re all one-way mirrors. They have no way to communicate. She says it was the perfect prison for the Evil Queen since she has no friends anyway. Emma says people might not be able to break out, but maybe someone can break in. They think Henry is their answer.

The Evil Queen as Regina tells Henry that it worked and she’s finally free. Hook asks about Emma, and the queen tells him that Emma is driving to NYC to find the Dragon. She directs Hook to a fake voicemail. Snow says they finally got rid of the monster, but the queen says maybe not so much of a monster. She says they have someone else to worry about – Henry has to get ready for a dance. She says she’ll make sure everything works out for him.

Belle tells Zelena that Gold has closed his shop. She says he’s after her baby and she needs Zelena to help stop him; they’re both mothers and know what it’s like to care about someone who lets them down. Belle says she’s seen Zelena make portals before. Zelena says Gold has the wand she needs under lock and key, but Belle says she knows who can get it.

They meet with Jasmine and Aladdin, who claims to be the best thief anywhere. Jasmine doesn’t want him to get involved, but Zelena says it’s their fault that Gold is in possession of the shears in the first place. Belle says if Aladdin is any kind of a hero, he’ll help her escape the beast.

The Evil Queen visits Gold. She tries to come on to him, but he’s like, not today, he’s working. She says she needs the Hammer of Festus, which makes me think of Festivus for the rest of us. He says the hammer’s magic is only useful to someone who doesn’t have any. She says she wants it for Henry. Gold says villains don’t get happy endings, but the queen says she’s looking for a beginning. He asks what she has to offer him in return. She says now they’re on the same team, aren’t they? He tells her to remember her mother’s lesson – love is weakness. She says it can be, but it can also be a weapon, and she’s going to use it on her son.

Hook keeps leaving messages for Emma. He says he knows phones work in NYC and something doesn’t feel right. He sees the glass from the mirror on the beach. The Evil Queen appears and he asks what she’s done with Emma and Regina, but she says she’s not answering his question and blows him back with some magic.

Emma and Regina are getting nowhere, and Regina says they have to zero in on something. Emma suggests Granny’s, where Henry is meeting Violet before the dance. They see Henry adjust his tie, and they bang on the mirror. The Evil Queen as Regina calls to him. Emma says he has no idea they’re even gone. Henry tells the queen that he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Violet. The queen says Violet is a nice girl, but still a commoner and she’s lucky to have him. She says they might go back to her castle one day, and he’ll be king. Henry says he thinks he should finish high school first, but she says it’s not always about actually sitting on a throne, it’s about how you carry yourself. She tells him girls notice these things and to go off and be kingly. He leaves and the Evil Queen looks into the mirror and smiles.

Henry meets Violet. She asks if the homecoming dance is like a ball. He tells her something more important is happening, and to keep looking at him. He says that the woman behind him isn’t Regina, it’s the Evil Queen. He tells Violet to think of a reason to leave. She says she isn’t crazy about her dress, and wants to show him another one in the shop window. He tells her she’s a great liar. She says thanks, and they leave.

Emma and Regina are upset about Henry. Suddenly, Emma thinks someone else is with them. Regina says she doesn’t think so, but the Dragon comes out. He was imprisoned by the Evil Queen. He says everything is off balance, the dark and the light, a lesson sometimes learned at great cost. Emma says they’re worried abbot their son, and he says he once lost a daughter and paid the price.

Aladdin sneaks around Gold’s shop. Gold is doing some spinning (on a spinning wheel, not a bike). He hears something, but it’s just a windup toy. Aladdin finds the wand.

The Dragon takes Emma and Regina to another room in the mirror forest. Emma says she was looking for him. He says unfortunately, breaking their curse is beyond his ability. He tells them that Sidney was working on a way out, and points to a broken mirror. He thinks together they can mend it. Regina fixes one of the cracks by touching it and starts messing with the glass pieces.

Henry talks to a mirror. He says if his moms are in there, say something. The Evil Queen overhears and says it’s not like leaving a voicemail. She tells him that a gentleman never ditches his date. He says that Violet is somewhere safe, and he realized his mom wasn’t his mom. She brings up how she once helped him be brave, and says he could be great, but not if he’s a wimp. He says she can’t Darth Vader him and he’ll never join her. She says she’s not really evil, despite the name. She’s not a hero either, but a leader, and they do what’s necessary. She brings out a heart.

The Dragon tells them Henry is safe. Emma and Regina realize it’s the Evil Queen speaking through him. She’s also in the mirror and tells them that she has the Dragon’s heart. The Dragon doubles over. He says he doesn’t want to do this, and red smokes envelops him. When the smoke clears, he’s turned into a huge dragon.

The Evil Queen says to kill them, and the dragon Dragon goes crazy, flying all around and breathing fire. The queen gives Henry the hammer and says he can save them by smashing the Dragon’s heart. Henry says the Dragon is innocent, and it won’t make him hers. She says he’ll understand more of who she is though. He says if Regina dies so does she, and she says that’s how certain she is he’ll do it.

Emma and Regina hide behind some pillars. They discuss being mothers. Emma says neither one of them are sacrificing themselves, and Regina says they’ll do this together. She comes out and distracts the dragon. Henry says if the Evil Queen is his mom, not to make him do this. She says her own mother proved that sometimes all you need is a little push. The dragon comes after Emma and Regina. They cry out for help, but Henry smashes the mirror instead of the heart.

Good choice. The dragon breathes fire on the mirror, and Emma and Regina pop through. The Evil Queen says they made Henry soft, and accuses him of hiding behind them. He says he’s not hiding, and strong families make you stronger than you would be by yourself, but she’ll never understand because she’ll always be alone.

Hook grabs the queen from behind with his hook and tells Her Majesty to shove off. The Evil Queen tells Henry that she only wants what’s best for him, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Jasmine tells Aladdin she’s proud of him. Why do they both have British accents? Is Agribah lost in the UK? She says she was so focused on finding Agribah, she almost stopped him from helping Belle. Along with stealing the wand, he lifted a genie lamp, and gives it to her. She says the genie is gone, but he says he’s free now, but whoever’s inside might be able to help them find Agribah

Belle brings the wand to Zelena. Gold pops in right behind her. He says he can’t let Belle take their child away. He puts a spell on her and says no matter where she goes, he’ll find her. She calls him a beast, but he says it’s love. She says next time, she’ll run so far and so fast, he’ll never set eyes on his child. He says Rumpelstiltskin takes children, and she says tell your first son that.

Gold falls to the floor. Zelena says his heart only beats because of her, and if he hurts her, he hurts himself. He struggles up and says they’re far from done. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. I guess a lot of the smoke budget was blown on the dragon Dragon, so they couldn’t afford another color.

Snow writes to David. She says she can’t do this anymore and she misses him. They switch places. David takes the crumpled paper from her hand and says he misses her too.

Violet goes to Granny’s. Henry apologizes for them missing the dance. She says they had their first date there, and it’s better than the dance. Henry says she’s seemed distant, but she says it’s not him; she’s having a hard time adjusting to school. She feels out of place like the kids in the John Hughes movie, and doesn’t know if shes a jock or a nerd. He says he should have started with Sixteen Candles, and tells her that she doesn’t need a label; she’s Violet. He asks her to dance

Emma tells Regina that Henry is going to be okay with or without her. Regina says the queen was wrong about him. She was so worried about how they’re going to raise him, she didn’t realize that they already had.

Gold looks at the sonogram picture. The Evil Queen tells him that children rebel; it’s their job, but it’s the parents job to make them strong. Gold asks how far she’s willing to go, and she says she’ll do anything. He suggests they might both get their happy ending and kisses her. She says they are on the same page this time, and he says for now. But there’s one more thing to take care of. He tells her that Zelena has become a bit of a problem, and he wants her dead.

Next time – in 2 weeks – Gold becomes a beast who goes too far, and Belle might lose her baby.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion Part Two

Teresa claims she had a gut feeling that Jacqueline set her up. Andy takes a break. Jacqueline says no wonder Teresa is so angry with her. In the dressing room, Chris tells Jacqueline that Teresa is crazy.

Chris and Joe #2 join the group. Andy says that was quite an accusation. Teresa says she doesn’t feel Jacqueline was responsible, but she dabbled in it. She went to “certain people” getting information, and started the ball rolling. Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what they think. Siggy says she’s been friends with Jacqueline for 2½ years, and Dolores says she doesn’t think that’s something Jacqueline would do. Chris says they have a mutual friend who called him about a possible Federal investigation, then Chris called another friend who had some ideas on how to circumvent things. He approached Joe #1 who told them to f-off, so he washed his hands of it. He asks when Teresa is going to take responsibility.

Jacqueline drags Melissa into it, saying that Melissa was giving her information. Melissa says she thought of her as a girlfriend who she told things to in confidence. She warns the others that Jacqueline will spill their secrets. Jacqueline tries to get Chris involved and Melissa points out that she doesn’t need to drag Joe #2 into her business. Chris says blah-blah-blah about how they used to be friends. He claims Jacqueline tried to get everyone to be friends when Teresa was on the outs with Melissa, but he told her one day she’d be the one on the outside.

Joe #2 thinks this is petty stuff, and that his family destroyed him. He says he was a mess for a while. and we flash back to some choice moments like the christening party. Chris talks about how he met Jacqueline, and somehow the subject of Jacqueline being a stripper pops up again, but doesn’t linger. Chris insists that Jacqueline never meant any ill will toward anybody.

Andy lightens the mood by saying sometimes he thinks he needs a Jersey translator, and shows some clips of “Jerseyisms,” which are more like Teresaisms. Like when Teresa confused an enema with edamame. Dolores confuses things further by telling her that it’s really a colonic. Teresa blames everything on having had braces on the back of her teeth. Jacqueline admits to it being an endearing quality.

Andy talks about Italian families and how it’s sometimes like being at war. He touches briefly on the rift between Teresa and her brother, but moves quickly on to Teresa coming home and how even prison didn’t bring her down. We see clips of the family, and of Joe leaving. Andy says he was surprised to hear that Teresa might have to sell the house. She says she thought it might be good to downsize, but the kids don’t want to leave, so she’s working hard to keep them there. Andy asks what she learned in prison. She talks about the wonderful women she met there, how they’re not bad people, and actually uses the word prison. She says it really wasn’t exactly a camp, and a lot of it was disgusting. She says she took responsibility, but she really just signed a paper. Andy asks if she blames Joe #1, but she says he took full responsibility, telling the court she had nothing to do with it, but since she’s a celebrity, it went the way it did. We see all the paparazzi screeching at her. Melissa says if Joe #1 could have done her time, he would have. I honestly believe that is the way it went. I think she had no clue what she was signing – why would she have read it, since she trusted her husband? And I think she was made an example of because she’s a reality star.

A viewer remarks that Teresa doesn’t seem to have remorse, and she’s like, what more do you want? They talk about Joe #1 now being inside, and how he almost has a six-pack now. Andy asks about Teresa’s insistence that Joe never cheated, and she says show her proof. They talk about Teresa’s going away party when she left the clink, and how Gia has a boyfriend now. Andy suggests she date Dolores’s Frankie, and Teresa says you never know.

Andy asks if Teresa thinks Joe will keep it together, and she says he is already. He asks about the possibility of Joe being deported. She says because it’s a legal matter, she can’t really discuss it and they’ll see what happens. He asks her why it’s something she doesn’t want to discuss, and she says there’s no need to give it life. Amen to that. Of course she doesn’t want to discuss it. Geez. That’s possibly the stupidest question Andy has ever asked anyone.

Chris is back, although I hadn’t realized he left. Andy asks why Teresa doesn’t want to deal with her cousins. Teresa says they’re toxic; they never called or wrote once, and Rosie really hadn’t been there for Joe. Jacqueline says that Teresa wouldn’t even sit on the same couch with them, and Teresa basically tells her to mind her own business. Siggy says Jacqueline just wanted to bring the family together, and Teresa says she doesn’t see it that way. Siggy says Teresa had different priorities than dealing with her cousins.

A viewer asks about Melissa and Kathy, but Melissa says they just drifted apart. Jacqueline tries to voice an opinion, but Melissa shuts it down, saying Jacqueline knows it’s true.

Next up, the nightmare in Vermont. We flash back to all that, and I want to smack Jacqueline’s stupid face all over again. Andy asks why Melissa invited Robyn and Kristina, and she says they were friends. Teresa talks about Jacqueline antagonizing Robyn, but Jacqueline says she was calling Robyn’s bluff. Chris says Jacqueline thought it was going to be a time of genuinely mending fences and was disappointed. Which I guess gave her leeway to scream at whoever she wanted to. Dolores thinks Melissa should have come to Jacqueline’s rescue, and Melissa says after Jacqueline barked at her like she was one of her kids, she didn’t answer Jacqueline fast enough. Andy asks Melissa if she had four nose jobs. Melissa barely starts to talk and Jacqueline jumps in with her two cents. Melissa says it’s her secret to tell, and wants to know why it’s Jacqueline’s business.

Jacqueline says blah-blah-blah, and claims Teresa went to jail for lying. Melissa calls Jacquleine a sh*tty friend. Teresa says she has a clown’s face, and that she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing with rabies. She calls Jacqueline disgusting, and Jacqueline acts like she doesn’t care, but Teresa says she does and that’s why she keeps coming back.

Andy asks Joe #2 why Jacqueline and Melissa had problems after Teresa came back. Joe says Jacqueline got weird, and Melissa says she acted paranoid and never believed that Teresa could change. Jacqueline questions whether or not Melissa and Teresa are really friends. Melissa says when Jacqueline lies, she turns the sound off. Chris claims that Teresa messed up their relationship with Joe #2 and Melissa. Melissa says there was a time they were friends, but Jacqueline ‘s mind messed with her and she started to question things. Then she called a magazine with stories about them, and that ended it.

We flash back on more of Jacqueline’s idiocy. Andy brings up the lunch that went south. He asks Jacqueline why she even went. Jacqueline says her intention was to talk to everyone one on one. Andy says that seems rational and logical, but that wasn’t how it came off. Jacqueline claims that Teresa and Melissa came in with an attitude. Dolores insists they were still angry about Vermont, but then stands corrected after they tell her that wasn’t the case and we see a clip.

Andy asks if Jacqueline’s approach had been different, would Teresa have accepted it. Teresa says she would have. Andy asks what about Melissa, and the lovely Jacqueline squeaks that he was going to talk to her. Melissa points out that Jacqueline was never a friend in the first place. Chris claims that Jacqueline feels too deeply for people, and when she’s hurt, she goes to extremes. Okay.

Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what it would take to heal the friendship. Dolores suggests a lobotomy and Siggy says you have to put gas in a relationship to keep it moving forward and this tank is out. We flash back to some better times. In an old interview, Chris says they have a strong bond, whether they admit it or not. Jacqueline says it’s hard, and Teresa says no matter what, she’ll always have a special place in her heart for Nicholas. Jacqueline says they’ve both said and done things that are terrible, but Teresa says she’s never done anything to intentionally hurt Jacqueline. They had great times, but something went sour. Dolores says once someone apologizes, you can’t go back and say you don’t trust them. I dunno about that.

Andy brings up Jacqueline being hit hard when Joe #1 went away. She says just because she’s angry doesn’t mean she doesn’t have compassion. She starts crying. Andy asks if Teresa felt warm toward Jacqueline when she saw that, and Teresa says she did at the time. Dolores insists that neither one of them would turn the other away if there was an acutal need.

Andy talks about them leaning on one another. He asks Jacqueline if she was surprised that everyone was so supportive about Nicholas, and they all start crying. Teresa and Melissa hold hands. Melissa says even as angry as she is, she doesn’t like to see anyone hurt. Siggy says they’re all the best moms ever. Everyone agrees. Siggy says she loves them all, but she’s never going to Vermont again. She asks if everyone would do a group hug for her. Andy wants to see one too. Jacqueline says everyone doesn’t have to be friends, and Teresa begs her not to talk to people who want to hurt her. Dolores thinks they should stop talking before it goes bad, and Andy says let’s move forward.

They all hug, including Andy.

Best quote of the reunion: If you need to remove the knives, then there should not be a lunch. —- Dolores

The Walking Dead

Michonne stares at Rick while he sleeps, but it’s not exactly a loving look. She gets out of bed and gets her sword. And kills Rick. Just kidding. She messes around in the fireplace and brings out a gun. She quietly puts it into her duffel bag and leaves. Rick sees her and who knows what he thinks.

Michonne walks across a field to an abandoned truck, and gets on top of it. She surveys the land and waits.

Rick tends to Judith. Eugene crunches numbers or whatever he does. Rosita asks him to open the gate. Spencer asks if Eugene wants to come, but he says no. Rosita says no surprise. Eugene says he’s getting a music player back together and doing his part.

The Whistling Man Negan pounds on the gate, telling the little pigs to let him in. Is he going to huff and puff? A guy opens the inner gate and asks who he is. Negan is like, are you joking? and then Rick joins them. He tells Rick don’t make him have to ask. Rick says they were told a week and he’s early. Rick opens the gate and Negan says he missed him.

Negan kills a zombie with Lucille and says “easy peasy lemon squeezie.” We already know he’s one of those funny guy villains. He’s brought Daryl along with him, and says he just took care of a dead prick that could have killed them all, instead of bashing someone’s head in. He hands Lucille to Rick and strolls into Alexandria.

Negan says things like hot diggity dog, and that Alexandria is an embarrassment of riches. He tells Rick that they’ll have plenty to offer up. Rick tries to talk to Daryl, but Negan tells him no, and the same goes for everyone. Negan is so ridiculously satisfied with himself, he’s almost not scary. He tells Rick they’ll decide what they take and his workers move out into the town. Negan says they’re going to search the houses a bit and keep the process moving. He asks if Rick is going to show him around.

Rosita starts to go back to the car. Dwight asks where she’s going, and then says he doesn’t care. He takes the weapons from the car. He tells Rosita he has a job for her. Get Daryl’s bike. She says it’s not there and he says she knows where it is. She starts to leave and he takes her cap, telling her she can go now. She and Spencer get back in the car. Dwight dumps out her water and says don’t take too long.

Michonne is still at her post on the truck. She aims her gun at a zombie. She shoots and misses. She shoots again and misses. She practically unloads the gun. Either she’s a really bad shot or the site is off. She splits the zombie’s head open with her sword. I’m sure that’s more satisfying anyway. She walks through the woods and sees a dead deer. I’d eat the whole thing right there before I’d bring it back for Negan to steal.

Some of Negan’s people bring out a ratty chair. Negan is pleased, and says they’re reasonable people once you get to know them. Daryl follows him around silently. One of the guy’s wants to show Negan something. It’s Rick in the old video that Deanna took. He looks all Jeremiah Johnson, and Negan says he wouldn’t have wanted to mess with that guy, but it’s not Rick anymore. He asks what happened to the sick girl, referring to Maggie, and asks if she was married to number two. He tells Rick to be careful with how he looks at him, and goes on about good looking widows. He says he’d love to see her. Father Gabriel asks if he wants to pay his respects, and Negan says he’s freaky as sh*t, sneaking up on him like that. Negan assumes Maggie didn’t make it. He says it didn’t need to happen, but Daryl forced his hand. He was going to ask her to come back with him.

While Negan is prattling on, there’s a shot from somewhere. It’s Carl telling the guys to put stuff back. Rick tells him to put the gun down. Carl says they’re taking all the medicine. He tells Negan that he should go before he finds out how dangerous they really are. Negan asks if Carl just threatened him. Rick says to put the gun down, but Negan tells him they’re having a conversation. Negan tells Carl he likes him and doesn’t want to go hard proving a point. He says half and half is what it is. He asks if Carl wants him to prove how serious he is…again. Carl gives Rick the gun and Rick gives it to Negan.

Negan is reminded how many guns they have. He says this emotional outburst has made it clear he can’t allow that, and they’re all his now. He asks Rick where his guns are.

Negan shakes down Olivia at the armory. She says she keeps track of everything like the rations and the guns. Negan says they have slim pickin’s as far as food goes, and they’re no good to him if they starve, so for now they can keep their food. He says is a thank you too much to ask? but Rick says nothing. Negan says he knows they started off on the wrong foot, but Rick forced his hand. He says he’s reasonable if people cooperate, and asks if Rick is cooperating. He wants to know if there are any guns waiting for their moment. Rick says the guns are all in the armory to the best of his knowledge, and Negan says he’s counting on that.

Rosita and Spencer go out to the forest. Spencer looks under a pile of branches and says it’s still there. It’s Daryl’s bike. He says he knows it sucks, but this is their life now, this is where Rick got them. He says maybe if Rick had thought it through, it would be different. People might still be with them. I’m not a huge Rick fan, but he’s being just a little harsh. Rosita trots into the woods.

Negan tells Rick he thinks their attangement is going to work just fine. He wonders if Rick has been taking care of his guns. He aims one at Daryl, who doesn’t react, but shoots out a window. Some guy brings out a bazooka. Negan says he’s going to have fun with it. A woman tells Negan they’re short two guns. Rick says they had some people leave and maybe the guns are with them. Negan asks if Olivia sucks at her job, but she says the inventory is correct. He asks if she knows where the guns are and that he’s disappointed. It shows that someone isn’t on board and he can’t have that. He says he doesn’t enjoy killing women, but it was Olivia’s responsibiltiy. He badgers her and she starts to cry.

Rick’s people gather at the church and he tells everyone he thought of hiding some of the guns, but what if the Saviors found them or they had the guns on them when they ran into one of them? It doesn’t matter how many bullets they have, it isn’t enough. He says hiding guns isn’t the answer anymore. He asks who has the two they’re looking for or who knows where they are? He says if they don’t find them, Negan will kill Olivia. A guy asks why they care and Rick asks if he has them, but he doesn’t. He says most of them weren’t there; they didn’t have to watch. If they give Negan what he wants, they live in peace. Another guy gets up and asks how they’re getting out of this. Rick says there is no way out of this. He’s not in charge anymore. Negan is. He asks again who has the guns. Eugene says not everyone is there.

Rosita slinks trough the forest following some zombies. Spencer calls for her. She hides behind a tree and takes the zombies out with a knife. I don’t know if there’s a purpose or she’s just getting out her aggression. She impales one’s head on the end of a log. Ooh. She took a gun off of him. But it’s empty. Rosita tells Spencer that Negan is going to take all their guns and asks if he’s going to tell. She says this is not their life and he walks away.

Rick watches Negan sitting with Olivia. He starts tearing the place apart. Gabriel comes in and says he feels like it’s going to work out. They’ll find the guns, get through today, and find a way to beat this. He has faith in Rick. He says things change; they weren’t always friends. He asks if Michonne has them, but Rick says she doesn’t have what they’re looking for. He thanks Gabriel for his quick thinking about Maggie.

Aaron tells Rick there’s nothing so far. They all split up to look elsewhere. Rick opens a floor grate and finds a lot of stuff, like bouncy ball, a can of beans, and whiskey. He pulls out a sack that has two guns in it. He brings them outside. Some guy is bothering Enid about keeping some balloons, making her say please a bunch of times. A-hole.

Rick gives Negan the guns. Negan says funny how a little thing like holy sh*t someone is going to die, lights a fire under everyone. He asks where Rick found them. I’d tell him it was Maggie’s house. Might as well make her the scapegoat since she’s supposed to be dead anyway.

Negan’s people start to pull out. Negan tells Rick he’s got a helluva place. Negan sees Michonne out of the corner of his eye. Rick asks for a second. Negan says no at first, and then smiles. Rick goes in, and Michonne sees him holding Lucille. Rick says he needs the rifle. He says he knows it’s in the bag and that she was out practicing. He says they have to give up their guns. If Negan finds them, someone dies, and he’s not losing anyone else. He asks if she’ll let him give the guns to Negan.

Michonne comes out with the deer like she was hunting. Rick gives Negan the gun. Negan says this is something to build a relationship on. He tells Rick that he’s special. Rick asks if Daryl can stay. Negan says, not happening, but amends that to maybe Daryl can plead his case and sway him.

Daryl says nothing. Negan says Rick tried. Now he has to get over that tall wall and earn for him. They’ll be back soon and Rick had better have something interesting for them, or Lucille will have her way. Someone will die, and no more magic guns. Michonne throws down the deer, and Negan says he loves a gal who buys him dinner and doesn’t expect him to put out.

Dwight takes Daryl’s bike and throws Rosita’s hat back to her. He asks if they found anything else, and she says just his dead friend. He rides off on Daryl’s bike. He tells Daryl to just say the word and he can have it back, but Daryl remains silent.

Negan tells Rick that nobody died. He thinks he and Rick can find their understanding. He asks if Rick wants him to go, and Rick says that would be good. He tells Rick to say the two magical words, and Rick says thank you. Negan is like, no, thank you, because he’s cuckoo.

Another zombie comes by and Negan says they need his help. He tells Rick they’re going to both come out winners and to watch his form. Rick tightens his grip on Lucille. Negan kills the zombie with a candlestick. (It was Negan in Alexandria with the candlestick.) Negan says win win, and to clean the candlestick up for next time.

Negan stats to leave, and says how careless of him, going back for his bat. He wonders why Rick would want Lucille after what she did, and thanks him for him being accommodating. He tells Rick that he just shoved his d*ck down Rick’s throat and Rick thanked him for it. Finally, they leave. Daryl looks at Rick from the back of the truck.

Rick tells Spencer that they were going to kill Olivia over two guns that were missing, and he found them in Spencer’s house. He doesn’t fault him for having the guns, but the food and liquor? He calls Spencer weak, saying they got lucky this time, and Spencer says they should have made a deal when they could. He asks if Glenn and Abe were lucky too. Rick tells him that if he says something like that again, he’ll knock Spencer’s teeth down his throat.

Rosita confronts Spencer about the guns. He says he had them for a while because he didn’t trust Rick. He says he was worried about Rick being in charge, and she said it already, that this doesn’t have to be their life. He drives away, and she takes a gun out of the wheel well of another car.

Rick fixes up a bed on the floor since the mattresses were all taken. Michonne says the rifle belonged to the Saviors and wasn’t on the list. He asks if she has more, and she says no. She says everything they have, they got from fighting for it. Rick says he made a choice and Negan has the numbers. She says what about Hilltop, but he tells her they still outnumber them. He says if they play by the rules, they’ll have some kind of life. Michonne says what kind?

Rick talks about Shane and how he took care of Carl when Rick was out of commission in the beginning. He says Shane hooked up with Rick’s wife because they thought he was dead. He says he loves Judith, but she isn’t his. He had to accept that to keep her alive. He hopes he can raise her and protect her and teach her to survive. He says he had to accept how they live now to keep everyone else alive. He tells Michonne that she has to accept this – they all do – or it wont’ work. Michonne says she’ll try.

Michonne goes back to the abandoned truck. She hears something and looks in the distance. She gets down and walks across the field. She sees a smoldering pile of gravestones and starts hyperventilating.

Rosita picks up a shell casing. She takes it to Eugene and asks him to make her a bullet.

Next time, Maggie is at Hilltop and at risk, Carl is done, and Jesus is back (no, not that Jesus).