What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Michael answers the door at the gatehouse, and Carly and Josslyn are there. He says, that was fast, and Carly says, they dropped everything as soon as he called. Whatever Wallow needs, they’ll do. Willow says, that’s a good thing, because they need both of them, and Michael says, now more than ever.

Sonny sees Robert at the hospital, and says he just stopped by to see Anna. Robert is carrying two to-go cups, and Sonny asks if it’s coffee for Anna. Robert says, tea, Earl Grey, her favorite, and Sonny says he just sent her some flowers. Robert asks if that’s how it works now; take with one hand, give with the other. Is this his current M.O.? Sonny says he doesn’t understand. Do they have a problem? Robert says, since Sonny used Diane Miller to circumvent the law, he thinks they do.

Brook runs into the CCRB meeting room, and sees Chase. She says, right on time, and he says, the meeting hasn’t started yet. She already submitted a letter on his behalf. Why is she here? She asks why he thinks. Someone has to make him presentable. She straightens his tie.

Alexis says, if Chase and Finn heard Gregory was ill, they didn’t hear it from her, but he says he didn’t come here to argue with her. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he will be if she does him a favor. He promises it’s the last time he’ll ask.

Somewhere off the coast of Venezuela. There’s a knock at Felicia’s room door, and a voice says, housekeeping. A housekeeper carrying a humongous stack of towels says, someone asked for more towels, but Felicia says, she must have the wrong room. The housekeeper toddles in with the towels, and Felicia says she’s going to call the front desk. The maid says, please don’t, and dumps the towels on the bed. It’s Holly, and she and Felicia hug. Felicia asks why Holly is in disguise, and Holly says, when you’re supposed to be mummied up in a Swiss burn unit, hiding out from Victor Cassadine, you can’t afford to be too careful. Felicia says, for someone who was burned in a housefire, Holly looks pretty amazing, and Holly says, the ultimate chemical peel; people pay thousands for that. Speaking of which, Felicia looks amazing. Whatever she’s doing with Mac, keep it up. Felicia thanks her, and says, ever since she got back in the P.I. game, it’s been good for her. It keeps her on her toes, which is how she got the brilliant idea to fly to Caracas, hop a boat, and catch up with Holly on this island. Holly says, let her guess. This has something to do with the Ice Princess necklace. Felicia says, so she knows Victor has the real deal, and Holly says, Robert got word to her that it was especially important that she lay low right now, because if Victor has the necklace, it’s likely he knows she pulled a fast one. Felicia says, unfortunately, he’s taken hostages. She’s sure he won’t hesitate to grab Holly again if he gets the chance. Holly suggests they turn up the heat, but first things first, and Felicia says, first they find Holly’s son. Then they find the person who killed Luke.

Sonny says he’s getting the impression he crossed the line in some kind of way. What’s that about? Robert says, somebody hired Diane Miller to represent this lowlife who was hired to take out Lucy Coe at the Nurses Ball, and Sonny says, every defendant has the right to legal representation; Robert knows that. Robert says, legal representation, but not an A-list attorney like Diane Miller, who happens to be on Sonny’s retainer. Sonny made this person an offer they couldn’t refuse. Sonny says, correct him if he’s wrong, but didn’t this person of interest reveal that Victor has hostages aboard the Haunted Star? That was because of Diane’s information. Nina comes by, and Sonny says, Diane got this information, now they’re armed with all this knowledge. Who cares how they got it? Robert says, that depends. How far is too far, eh, Nina? He goes into the elevator, and Nina looks at Sonny.

Carly asks, what’s going on? When they were asked to come by, they assumed it was a health related issue. Willow says, it is… in a way, but what she needs is help in planning their wedding. Josslyn says, of course (🍷). They’d be happy to help, but they thought that wasn’t for a few months. Willow says she wanted to wait until after the transplant, but now with her donor missing, she’s reconsidered. What does Carly say, does she have Carly’s permission to marry her son tomorrow? Michael tells her, please say yes.

Alexis says, the last time Gregory will ask her for a favor? What does that even mean? He says, let him clarify. He means he won’t bother her again if he’s imposing. By now, it’s public knowledge that Alexis’s family is involved in what may turn out to be the story of the year. Alexis says, he’s heard about the ghost ship then, and he says, it’s impossible not to, but what’s really blowing up the internet are the names of the villain and the victims. To her they’re not just names; they’re family. She says, that’s her family all right. She has reporters on it. Nikolas has vanished – nobody knows where he is – and his sons apparently are hostages. And the mastermind of the whole thing is her Uncle Victor. He says he’s sure it must be overwhelming to juggle her job and her emotions. So that’s why he’s here, to offer his help.

Brook tells Chase to be still. He wants to look his best before the committee, doesn’t he? He says he doesn’t think the CCRB is going to give him a thumbs up or thumbs down because of his appearance. It’s his character and judgement that are in question. She says, they’d be lucky to have him back… anyone would be. They hear people in the hallway, and Brook says, just look each of them in the eye, be himself, and he can’t lose. He asks if that’s his manager talking, but she says, no. She’s just someone who believes in him. The committee files in and takes their seats at the table up front. Brook asks if it’s okay if she stays, and Chase says he’d like that. She tells him, break a leg, and the chairman says, this meeting of the Civilian Complain Review Board will come to order. They’re here to consider the reinstatement, or permanent dismissal, of Detective Harrison Chase. He asks Chase to come forward. The committee has reviewed his work record, and in many ways, it’s exemplary. Chase says he appreciates that, and the chairman says, but given he’s twice resorted to violence in his off-duty life, the committee is concerned he might lack the temperament and the discipline required of an officer of the law, much less a detective. To that end, this is a forum both for those opposed to and in favor of restoring his badge. Chase says he understands, and thanks them for the opportunity, when Blaze walks in. She says she’d like to speak in Chase’s favor, and Brook says, atta girl. The chairman asks her name, and she says, Blaze. He asks if it’s her first or last name, and she says, it’s her stage name. Her real name is Allison Rogers. The chairman asks her relationship to Chase, and Blaze says, he’s her singing partner, and she’s enjoyed every minute of performing with him. But as talented as Chase is, and a real natural on stage, she knows his true calling is being a police officer. He asks how she knows that, and she says, Chase stood up for her when her creep of a manager was sexually harassing her. But Chase didn’t throw his weight around, if that’s what they’re thinking. He just put Linc Brown on notice. Chase made her feel safe and protected… even respected. And isn’t that what a cop’s supposed to do – serve and protect?  

Alexis says, honestly, she didn’t know if she was going to see Gregory again. Their last visits would have implied that. Gregory says he considered keeping his distance, not wanting to add to her troubles. But then he thought his friend Alexis is trying to put out a newspaper while holding her family close because this story strikes so close to home. So he put everything else aside, got in the elevator, and here he is. She says, so he gets to help her, but she doesn’t get to help him. Interesting terms of a friendship.

Carly says, of course (🍷) Michael and Willow have her blessing; they’ve always had her blessing. Is Willow sure she wants to push the wedding up… Willow says, when she’s living on borrowed time? She doesn’t want to waste another minute. Josslyn asks if Michael is okay with it, and he says, absolutely. He wants Willow to have everything she ever dreamed of. Willow says, so Maxie is overseeing, Brook is taking care of the arrangements at the house, and Sasha is contacting the vendors. Josslyn says she wants to do something too, and Carly says, whatever Willow needs. Give her a job.

Sonny asks what Nina is doing, and she says she wanted to talk about alternative treatments for Willow with Dr. Randolph, but it’s no use. Willow never signed the release for her to have the medical information. Sonny says he’s sorry, but she says she’s just grasping at straws. Willow pretty much said there weren’t any other treatments. They have to find Aunt Liesl in time for the transplant. At least they know why she disappeared from the Nurses Ball and who has her, thanks to Sonny. He says he doesn’t know exactly what she heard… She says, there’s no reason to keep her out of the loop anymore. It’s common knowledge Victor Cassadine disappeared with the Haunted Star, and Aunt Liesl is one of his hostages. It’s a lot more than they knew last night. She asked Sonny to do whatever it takes, and he took her at her word, didn’t he?

Robert thanks the reception nurse, when Diane sees him, and says, coffee run? He says, Earl Grey, one supposedly for Anna, but she’s being examined right now, and he supposes it will be cold when she’s finished. Maybe Diane would care to join him. Or would this be looked on as a conflict of interest by her boss? She says she’s the senior partner of her own law firm. She doesn’t have a boss; she has clients. He says he doubts Sonny knows the difference. She’s not here to receive her marching orders, is she? She laughs, and says she’s here to dispose a client who is being wrongfully accused of malpractice. She’s no wartime consiglieri. She’s an attorney with principles. She starts to leave, and he says he’s sorry if he was out of line. She says, yes, very, and he asks her to accept his apologies and this lukewarm cup of tea.

Holly tells Felicia that she hates to admit this, but she’d almost given up hope of finding Ethan. Even with all her contacts and Robert’s trusty rusty Rolodex, it was as if he’d vanished off the face of the earth. Felicia says, people have a way of vanishing when they’re in Victor Cassadine’s orbit, and Holly asks if it’s true about Liesl Obrecht. Felicia says, yeah, and most likely, Spencer and Nikolas Cassadine’s infant son, and Holly says, God knows what Victor’s got in mind. Thankfully, she finally got a lead that Ethan is being held somewhere here on this island. Felicia says, so she knows where he is, but Holly says, no. Just this, and literally in the last 24 hours. Felicia asks if it doesn’t strike her as convenient, coming on the heels of Victor fleeing Port Charles, and Holly says, without a doubt, but this is her son they’re talking about. She had no choice but to follow the lead. Felicia says, of course (🍷). Then what are they waiting for? Let’s go find him. Holly says she can’t go in the maid’s outfit, and Felicia holds up two dresses, saying, take her pick. Holly wonders what she’d do without Felicia.

The chairman thanks Blaze, and says, the committee will take her testimony into consideration. That being said, they also have to consider Detective Chase’s poor judgement and his temper. Frankly, there’s also concern about his commitment to the badge. They understand someone without pay has to earn a living, but pursuing a music career? Perhaps he has a new calling in show business. Geez, it’s not like he’s doing porn. Brook gets up, and says, excuse me. She thinks she knows what Chase’s true calling is. The chairman asks who she is, and she says, Brook Lynn Quartermaine. He says he believes she’s already submitted a written statement in support of Detective Chase, and she says she did, but she has more to say. If they want to know where Detective Chase’s heart lies, nobody knows that better than her. Nobody.

Gregory tells Alexis, in his book, friends don’t always have to agree. Sometimes they fall out for years. He hopes that’s not the case with them. Her daughters are a strong support system for her, but sometimes it’s good to have the support of friends who you can communicate with in a different way. She says, in other words, he missed her, and he says, guilty as charged. He’s hoping she feels the same way. She says she does. She likes their connection. She likes being able to talk to somebody who’s intelligent and observant. So yes, she missed him to. Sit down and let’s get to work. He says, it will be a story to tell, a story that cuts close to the bone. He thinks if they put their heads together and set their egos aside like they did on the trail of The Hook killer, they can make this work. He asks to see a proof of tomorrow’s front page, and she turns her laptop around, but shuts it before he can see, and says, hang on. He asks if he’s already stepped on her editorial toes, but she says her toes are just fine. First, they need to tell another important story; his story.

Sonny asks if Nina is sure she wants to know. If he tells her, she can’t unknow it. She says she knows (ha-ha!) what she’s asking, and he says, Victor’s enforcer – the guy who tried to kill Lucy – wasn’t going to talk to the cops. So he arranged for the guy to have legal representation with Diane. Nina says, he was doing his civic duty, and Sonny says, something like that. In the meeting, the guy and Diane discussed how he might accept a lesser charge in exchange for certain information. She says, so he gives up Victor Cassadine, and gets a lesser charge, and Sonny says, exactly. We don’t live in a perfect world, but one thing he’s learned, one thing you can count on… nobody does anything for free.

Both of them dressed up, Holly leads Felicia into a beautiful living room with a roaring fireplace, and Felicia asks, what is this place? It seems way too formal to be on a tropical island. Holly says, if you have to ask, you’re not a member, and Felicia says she’s not. Is Holly? Holly says, no, but Victor is. A man in a tux comes out, and says he’s sorry, but tonight’s closed to the public; it’s members only. He’s afraid they’ll have to leave. Holly presses some money into his hand, and asks if he couldn’t make an exception in their case. He says he’s sorry, but she made a serious mistake, and two bouncers come out. The guy tells them to escort these ladies off the property, but Holly says, he doesn’t understand. They represent a consortium that does business with Victor Cassadine. He says, so? and Felicia says, so their clients insist they bid for them in person. They can’t risk leaving a digital footprint, if he knows what she means. He understands, right? Felicia slips him more cash, and he says, very well, telling them to take a seat. The bidding will begin shortly. He tells the other two to bring the item up. And remember Mr. Cassadine’s instructions – handle with care. He leaves, and Holly says, that was some fast thinking. Felicia wonders how this gets them any closer to Ethan, and Holly says she thinks they’re even closer than she thought.

Robert asks what they should drink to, and Diane suggests trust, but Robert says he trusts and admires Diane. It’s too bad she has to be compromised by the likes of Sonny Corinthos. She asks if Robert is compromised every time he takes a plea deal, and he asks if that isn’t apples and oranges. She says, is it? Was he compromised when he and Holly were running around carrying out those dubious operations for the WSB? Or every time he and Anna broke the rules just to take down the bad guy? Robert says, it’s different; it’s not the same thing. Diane says, let her guess. Because he was doing it for God and country. Admit it. They don’t deal with saints. They choose to deal with complicated men and women, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sonny asks if Nina has second thoughts about asking for his help, but she says, not a one. The Mike she fell in love with in Nixon Falls is still the Sonny she’s in love with. She learned she can’t pick and choose the parts of him that she loves. He says he thought it was the dimples, and she says, the dimples too, for sure. She says, now that they know where Aunt Liesl is, are they any closer to bringing Aunt Liesl home in time for Willow’s transplant?

Willow asks to talk to Carly in private, and Josslyn says, of course (🍷), leading Michael outside. Willow tells Carly that Michael has been wonderful about the wedding, but as soon as she starts talking about what happens after she’s gone, he doesn’t want to hear it. Carly says, neither does she, and Willow says, but Carly is a mom, and she understands. Willow wants her children to have what she never did; to grow up surrounded by family. Carly says, between them and the Quartermaines, Amelia and Wiley are going to have more family than they can handle, but Willow says, it’s the aunts and uncles she’s worried about. If Michael is at odds with Sonny, his siblings will feel like they’ve got to choose sides. She’s not worried about Dante; he’s able to navigate between the two. But Kristina is fiercely loyal to Sonny, and she’s already pulling away from Michael; not out of malice, but she sees the situation from her father’s point-of-view. As they get older, what if Avery and Donna do the same? She doesn’t want those little girls to miss out on having Michael as a big brother, and she doesn’t want her children to miss out on Avery and Donna. Carly wonders if Willow is asking her to make peace between Michael and Sonny.

Gregory says he had no plans to tell Alexis that he was sick. He regrets losing his temper and blurting it out. And it was wrong of him to dump it on her. She says she’s not glad he’s ill, but she’s glad he shared it. As much as their collaboration means to him, his health and well-being mean more. She can’t unhear what he told her. He says he’s not asking her to pretend she didn’t hear it. He’s asking her not to let it get in the way of what they do so well. If she can do that, he can promise not to let his little problem get in the way again.

Brook tells the committee, what she didn’t say in her letter is that Chase does have a problem. A big one. He cares too much. When you boil it down, that’s what Blaze was saying, and all the people who wrote letters. Chase isn’t just a cop; he’s a human being. That’s what caused him to come to her defense – not once, but twice – and he’s paid the price and learned from it. Chase is good at being on stage for the same reason he’s good at investigating a crime. Because he puts his heart and his soul into it. He never quits until he gets it right. He never quits on anyone… even if they deserve it. They need more people like that enforcing the law in this town. The kind of person who feels for people and fights for them. The kind of cop – the kind of man – they’re all proud to call Detective Harrison Chase.

The chairman says, Chase’s witnesses spoke quite eloquently on his behalf. Does he have anything to add? Chase says, not very much. Because no matter what the Review Board decides, he’ll always be grateful for the opportunity to serve the people of Port Charles as a detective. It was a true honor. However, if they decide to reinstate him, he’ll do his very best to deserve their trust. The chairman says, the committee will adjourn to discuss their decision, and the members leave. Chase thanks Blaze, and she says she only spoke the truth. And if they don’t reinstate him as a detective, she’d be thrilled to be his duet partner for life. They hug, and she says she’s sorry she can’t stay for the decision; she’s due at the recording studio. She’s putting together a new demo. He tells her, good luck, and she says, him too. She leaves, and Brook asks how Chase is doing. He says, no matter what happens he’s going to be okay… because of her.

Alexis says she appreciates Gregory not wanting her to know anything about his illness, but if something happens to him, how will she know what to do? He says, what if she gets hit by a bus? What if he slips and falls in the shower? What if an asteroid hits the planet? Is life just one big what if? He can understand her wanting everything out in the open about his illness, but ultimately, it’s happening to him. All he’s doing is asking her to respect his privacy so they can get back to doing what made her want to work with him in the first place. She says, not a bad argument. He should have been a lawyer. He asks if that means he’s gotten through. Let’s forget about everything else, and tell this story.

Willow tells Carly that brokering peace would mean pressuring Michael, and she doesn’t want that. But she also doesn’t want to leave her children in a divided family when she’s gone. Carly asks her not to say that. Of course (🍷) she’ll be with Michael if anything happens, but can they not put that out in the universe? Please don’t say when. Willow says, if she goes, she wants Wiley and Amelia to be able to see their grandfather and their aunts and uncles, and not feel the tension underneath. Carly says she gets where Willow is coming from. What does she need? Willow says, part of the reason Michael has drawn such a hard line with Sonny is out of loyalty to Carly, and Carly says she knows that. She didn’t expect it, and didn’t ask Michael to turn his back on Sonny. Willow says, of course (🍷) she didn’t, but she is Michael’s mother. Sonny treated her unfairly, and Michael resents it. It’s made him question everything else about Sonny, and it’s all perfectly justified, but being right doesn’t build bridges; compromise does. For the sake of their youngest family members – for Avery, Donna, Wiley, and Amelia – she’s asking Carly to be the one who builds the bridge.

Josslyn says she’s not sure if it matters to Michael, but Sonny knows about her and Dex. He asks, since when? and she says, since the night of the Nurses Ball. He found them together and told them that he’s known for months. He said he was disappointed in Dex for keeping it from him, but that Dex saved his life. Michael says, Sonny acknowledged that Dex saved him? and she says, yes. He also said she was mom’s daughter, so it’s mom’s issue to deal with. He wasn’t happy of course (🍷), but he wasn’t that mad either. Michael knows what he’s like when he’s mad. Michael asks, what happened next? and she says, nothing. He gave Dex another job, which turned out to be looking for Obrecht. Anyway, her point is, Dex told her that Sonny is using every connection to find her. Michael says, Sonny called him and told him that he’d do anything to help, and she says, Sonny called him? Michael says, there was something in his voice that made him almost forget about all the destruction and broken lives. For a moment, he sounded like… Josslyn says, like who? and he says, he sounded like my dad. She hugs him.

Sonny tells Nina, they need to focus on the positive. Jordan has all the information. She’s going to notify everyone from Interpol to the US Navy. Nina says she knows Jordan is doing the best she can, but she also knows he has more resources, and he’s working behind the scenes. She just wants to be able to help him. He tells her to help her daughter as much as Willow will let her, and she says, in other words, stay out of it. He says, it’s safer this way, and she says she trusts him. If she wanted safer, she’d have left a long time ago. She’s not asking him to share his trade secrets with her, but he doesn’t need to shield her. She’s sure she loves him, and she’s sure she trusts him. And she’s sure he’s going to put her and his family before anything else. She’s not asking for anything more. Just him… all of him. He says, she has him, and he kisses her.

Felicia and Holly are seated, and the tux man puts on a monitor where he’s being filmed. He welcomes the audience in several different languages, and says, as they know, they represent a select group invited by their host Victor Cassadine to bid on what he dares say is a one of a kind item. One that has a personal meaning to each and every one of them. Bring him out. The two bouncers bring in a hooded man between them, and sit him down in front of the camera.

Carly tells Willow that she’ll do her best, and hugs her. Michael and Josslyn come back, and Michael asks if everything is okay. Carly says, it is. She was just telling Willow that she’s going to do everything she can to make their wedding everything the two of them want it to be. Josslyn says, they both will, and asks if they should head out. Carly says, yeah, hugs Michael, and says goodbye to Willow. They leave, and Michael says, it looks like they’re good to go wedding-wise. Willow says, almost.

Nina says she really means it. Sonny doesn’t have to protect her. She’s not trying to change him. She loves him. He says he loves her too, and he’s not giving up on her daughter. They’re going to find her Aunt Liesl and bring her home in time to save Willow – whatever it takes.

Chase says, it meant a lot that Brook spoke on his behalf today, and she says, Blaze did too, which really impressed her. Because if he gets his badge back, Blaze is going to lose a duet partner. He tells her, what Blaze said was amazing, but he doesn’t have the same history with her that he does with Brook. She says, he’s right; she owed it to him. He says, but still, thank you, and she says, he’s welcome, taking his hand. She drops it when the committee comes back in, and Chase stands in front of them. The chairman says, Mr. Harrison Chase, the CCRB have made our decision.

Alexis says, the first time they met, when Gregory almost hit her in the head with a frisbee, she knew he was as stubborn as she is. He says he doesn’t like to show all his cards at once, and she says she’ll go along with this if he promises that, if it gets worse, he’ll tell her and let her help him. He says, maybe or maybe not; it depends on the situation. She says, he’s exhausting. It’s a good thing she likes his work. He says, which means… She says, which means, she’ll cooperate. For now. Have it his way. Let’s get to work, professor. Don’t just sit there. Take this copy and do his thing. She hands him some papers, and he reaches for them, but falls to the ground.

Diane says, Robert does realize of course (🍷), it’s been weeks since he promised to take her out to dinner and fill her in on the mystery that began with the fire that scarred poor Holly and ended up destroying the Ice Princess necklace. He says, weeks? and she says, then of course (🍷), that only deepened with the murder of Eileen Ashby. He says, the Deputy Mayor had her share of enemies, and she says, and now apparently there’s this ghost ship floating around with hostages on board. He says, no time like the present; they’ll have dinner tonight. She says, so he just assumes she doesn’t have plans this evening? and he says he’s sorry. He didn’t realize she had plans. She says she doesn’t, but in the future, a lady likes to be given a little advance warning. He looks confused, she laughs, and they leave together.

The man tells the bouncers, show everyone exactly what they’re bidding on, and they remove the man’s hood. Holly says, Ethan, and the man says, for the privilege of ending the life of Ethan Lovett, the bidding will start at one million dollars.

Another one I didn’t see coming. I must be losing my touch. Victor is doing what I kinda, sorta thought Austin’s family might be up to.

Tomorrow, Diane tells Robert that she knows where the line is and won’t cross it; Brook tells Sonny that she may have called in a little favor; and the CCRB gives Chase their decision.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

When we last left, the engine expert team had told Glenn that the boat’s engine needed to be rebuilt, and it would take 15 days. In Glenn’s interview, he says, it’s BS. They need it fixed, and need to get onto it fast. They don’t have a rebuild kit, and it could take days to find one. On top of it, they have guests on board. It sucks to be him. We see the cabins, and these guests are incredibly messy. Daisy asks Glenn to talk to the guests about today’s plan, and he tells them that they’re not leaving the dock. He’s sorry and embarrassed, but that doesn’t mean they can’t go somewhere and have fun. In his interview, he says, they have to come up with ways to keep the guests entertained, and it brings the stress up to 110%. He tells them, there’s a beautiful beach nearby, and they act like this is a great idea, then bitch about it the second Glenn leaves. Glenn tells Daisy to take the tender and the van, and Daisy tells Colin that she’d like to send the guys. Colin says, Alex will take the tender run, and Chase will drive the van, and she decides to send Lucy along, In Daisy’s interview, she says, all she’s seeing are dirty dishes and laundry. Sending both of the girls to open beer bottles isn’t practical, and Gary isn’t here to argue with her. Glenn makes a million calls, trying to find a rebuild kit, but comes up empty. In Glenn’s interview, he says, he can’t find anything, even used. He could have all the money in the world, and it wouldn’t matter. Gary has covid, the guests are disappointed, and they could be f***ed. Daisy texts Gary, who says, he’s trying be positive, and sends a video of him dancing around. Colin calls another engineer, and suggests a possibility. The engineer says, if they were in a Mad Max world, it would be viable. In Colin’s interview, he says he has experience with salvaging engines. He bought a hurricane damaged boat, and knows how bad salt water can effect an engine. There has to be a quicker solution than rebuilding. The guests ask Glenn to join them for dinner. No doubt so they can personally yell at him. As the guests are about to get in the tender, one asks for an espresso martini, so Daisy has to run around to accommodate her majesty. Since Glenn is a man and can’t find things on his own, he radios Daisy that there’s no ice in the tender. Daisy says, it’s there, and he tells her to just bring more. She hotfoots it to the tender, as he’s telling her that he can’t f***ing find it. In his interview, he says, he’d rather have two and get going.

Daisy shows the guests where the ice was – in the ice bucket. In Lucy’s interview, she says, Chase isn’t annoying, but he’s so positive. Moaning about things gets her through life. Colin suggests some engine stuff to Glenn, and says, they’ll probably have to cruise a few knots slower, but Glenn says, any knots are more than they’re going now. In Colin’s interview, he says, what he’s going to do is completely unorthodox, but if he doesn’t try it, they have no charter. The salt water makes things corrode. If they corrode, they become weak, and if they become weak, they break. He’s going to suck out the water, put in diesel fuel, then suck that out. It’s a tedious task, and pushing him to his limit. Lucy comes back to the boat to do cabins, and they’re atrocious. Lucy says she couldn’t live like this. Me neither, sister. In Ileisha’s interview, she says, this dinner is so much pressure, and Glenn is going to be there. She keeps looking at the clock, thinking, another minute gone. At the beach, Chase thinks the guests are getting stirry, so they head back. In Madison’s interview, she says she wants to be on Daisy’s good side, and will fake it until she makes it. Lucy drops a dish and it breaks, and she starts to cry.

Daisy says, it’s just broken glass, and in Lucy’s interview, she says she feels like a child. Like the boat is ruining her. One of the guests wonders, if this is a sailboat, why aren’t they going out? That was my question last week, and we still don’t get an answer. Alex deposits the guests back at the boat, and says, they were mostly drinking again. More espresso martinis are demanded. Appropriately named guest Karen whines that if they don’t check the engines before a charter, it’s on them. She can go to the beach in Florida. She’s disappointed. In Colin’s interview, he says he got as much water out as he possibly can. The next step is to start the engine, and shoot out whatever’s remaining in the cylinders. It excites him in a way. Glenn texts Gary, who says his next test is tomorrow morning. Daisy tells the stews that it’s a black and gold themed dinner, and Colin says he has very good news. In Ileisha’s interview, she says, after working in fine dining, throwing out imperfect dishes becomes second nature. She wants them to be perfect, so she’s hard on herself. Daisy points out the spots Alex has missed in polishing the glasses, and in her interview, she says, Alex is good looking, but she doesn’t want to hook up with a junior deckhand. She tells Alex that it was a good attempt, and she’d put them on the table. An alarm goes off in the engine room, and Colin curses his life. The engine sputters, and Colin says, come on. The engine finally comes to life, and he runs to tell Glenn. They high-five and hug, and in Colin’s interview, he says, he’s so f***ing stoked. In Glenn’s interview, he says, Colin has always been a legend, but he’s gone up three notches. Until they’re out at sea, he’s not going to get too excited, but he’s feeling good. I told you that Colin is the only decent guy on this boat.

Alex helps serve, and he’s nervous. The guests thank Glenn for joining them, and Lucy and I both say, ugh, when we see the cabins. In Lucy’s interview, she says, there’s blood on the carpet, and it stank of fish. She’s not their f***ing maid… well, she is. Seriously, it’s absolutely disgusting. In Mads’s interview, she says, personality is everything. Alex is more mischievous, while Chase is more of a gentlemen. She wouldn’t mind screwing the crew if the crew knows how to screw. Lucy tells Daisy that the bed is covered in blood, and I have no words. Ileisha frets about the anxiety she never used to have that leads to self-doubt. That’s when she makes mistakes. She just has to focus. Primary Stephanie wants a massive nap, and everyone goes to bed.

Glenn says he doesn’t want to try taking the boat out yet. The guests have to leave at 12, and it’s raining. Gary texts that he tested positive again, and Glenn says he needs a drink. Daisy apologizes to guest Joni for not being able to get off the dock, but Joni says, life happens. She loves all of them. It just wasn’t the best trip. Deemed the most outspoken, Karen goes with Stephanie to approach Glenn. Karen gets all weepy, and says she thought she was being punked. They had no toilet paper, towels, or bath mats. Aside from being with her best friend and the company, this was the worst trip of her life. In Glenn’s interview, he says, WTF is going on? Glenn tells her that they take pride making sure the guests have everything at all times, and grabs Daisy as she’s going past. He tells her that the guests were saying they dropped the ball in a few places, and Karen, who I don’t think expected Daisy to be in this conversation, says, they had no toilet paper, etc. and no one took out the trash. Daisy says she’ll speak to the girls, and Glenn assures them that it will all be addressed. In the other room, Joni says she thinks they just didn’t want to cough up the extra money. Karen thanks Stephanie for loving her even when she’s an a-hole. I’m glad she recognizes that, but along with Glenn, I say, WTF?

Finally, it’s time to say goodbye to these slobs, and Stephanie tells Glenn that the picnic was amazing. Some things could have been better, but overall, it was a fantastic; the girls trip of a lifetime. Glenn blows the horn as the guests walk back to their lives. Glenn talks to Daisy about the lack of service, and Daisy says, one time they asked for towels and she brought them straight away. They never said a word. Glenn suggests the toilet paper situation be checked on a regular basis, and Daisy says, it was. He asks if she thinks they’re making it up (yes), and Daisy says she thinks a lot of alcohol was consumed, and now they’re coming down. Glenn tells her not to be defensive. He thinks because they couldn’t leave the dock, there was a massive black cloud over the charter. Just make sure the guests have a full roll of toilet paper at all times. In Daisy’s interview, she says she’s a mixture of embarrassed, upset, and shocked. She tells Glenn that by the end of the season, they’ll be an amazing team. She tells the stews that she’s confused if it was really that bad, and they all agree that they did all they could. In Mads’s interview, she says, it doesn’t make her want to give up, but it dampens the day. They were working as hard as they could. Daisy tells the stews that she thinks they did good. It was a hard charter.

At the tip meeting, Glenn says, this was the mother of all intense first charters. They had no engine or first mate, and the fact they survived is amazing. It was the most challenging engineering problem they’ve had, and he can’t thank Colin enough. He knows that there was an extra strain on Daisy because of being stuck, and thanks her for her efforts. The guests were also pleased with the food, and he agrees. The tip is 19.1K or 2105 euros each. In Daisy’s interview, she says she’s shocked. She guesses the majority of them were happy. Glenn says he’s organized dinner and drinks for them; have fun. They get changed and leave, and Glenn tries to figure out how to use the blender, which is pretty funny. In Mads’s interview, she says, drinking is the only way to release herself after that sh*tshow. Daisy toasts to Colin, but after she drinks a tequila shot, spits it out. Yep. I feel the same way about tequila.

Colin suggests sculling, and says he’ll judge. The guys chug their drinks, and Alex wins. Colin thinks they should head back to the boat, and Chase pushes Daisy back in an abandoned shopping cart. In Chase’s interview, he says, when Daisy drinks, she’s like his spirit animal. He thought she was prim and proper, but actually she’s a good time. In Colin’s interview, he says he still feels anxious. He’d love to get sh*tfaced with his workmates, but he has to be up tomorrow for sea troll day. He needs to be mature. Colin goes to bed, but the others get in the hot tub and drink champagne from the bottle. Alex is all over Daisy, and Chase gives Mads noogies. Chase suggests playing Truth or Dare, and dares Alex to make out with Daisy, and they do. Everyone cheers, and then Alex makes out with Lucy… and Mads. In Ileisha’s interview, she says, if this is night one, she doesn’t know how the rest of the season is going to go. Then Alex kisses her too. Yuk.

Next time, the morning after; Gary returns; the guests request the entire crew join them for dinner; and an exhaust leak while trolling.

🤽‍♂️ In the Summer House that seems to drag on longer than any summer, Lindsay apologized to Danielle, then Danielle apologized to Lindsay, who apologized again. They vowed to try and be better, and went back to the hoedown that was still going on. Gabby wanted Sam to make out with Kory, but Sam wanted Kory to make the first move. She said, normally she wasn’t weak, but he had some kind of power. Once again, I guess you have to be there because I just don’t get it. He doesn’t seem like he’s got any mind meld thing going on to me. Everybody jumped in the pool, and Kory kissed Sam. In her interview, she said they’d been almost kissing all day, and he was finally sealing the deal. I started wondering, how many hours is this party? when Amanda brought out the cake and an off-key Happy Birthday was sung. Everyone went inside, and there was more partying until Kyle was the last one standing, and announced, this place is demolished.

On Sunday, the place looked like something out of an episode of Hoarders, if the hoarder enjoyed a Western theme and hoarded bottles, cowboy hats, and inflatables. Paige said she hated Kory, and didn’t want him near her children. Sam told Gabby that Kory was so hot, he must have been grown in a lab for her. She couldn’t tell how he felt and she loved it. That confused me to no end. In Paige’s interview, she said she was happy that she and Craig talked things out, and that she wasn’t getting engaged for a while. She suggested women just cry to get out of it. Chris made a Spanish breakfast, and Lindsay announced a friendly reminder that she and Carl were having a housewarming on Wednesday. Everyone was invited, even Kory. Carl said it was Lindsay’s birthday as well. Ciara looked around and said, this place is vile, and I concurred. Robert called and Danielle asked if he could make the housewarming, but he said they were doing a tasting menu for a special buyout. Whatever that meant.

In Ciara’s interview, she said, Amanda had been concerned about her fertility, and we flashed back to that. Ciara said she knows Amanda’s ass didn’t try to make an appointment, so she ordered tests for Amanda, herself, and Paige, thinking it would be a good starting point. They met at Ciara’s apartment, and Paige got there first. She said she was curious, since she’d been on birth control for a year, and Ciara said she didn’t want to scare Amanda, but she was also concerned about Amanda’s weight loss. Paige said, Ciara was a nurse, and knew when things weren’t right. Amanda arrived, and said they were in an interesting place in their lives, getting together to do this . In her interview, she said she wasn’t ready to have kids, but being able to do this with them made her more comfortable. The test involved putting three drops of blood on a card, and Ciara helped them with that. She said they’d get the results in a couple weeks, and could open them together. Amanda thanked them for doing this with her, even though she would have done it alone. Ciara said, no, she wouldn’t have.

Lindsay told Carl that she was sorry the housewarming fell on a sad day, but he said, it was also her birthday. She said her birthday was secondary, but I wondered about that, since, if it was so sad, why not have it on another day? In Carl’s interview, he said, August 11^th was the day he found out his brother had passed away. It was also Lindsay’s birthday, and they were going to celebrate Lindsay’s life and their friendship. Lindsay said when she talked to her therapist, she’d said, Lindsay got the best birthday gift ever. She’d been searching for love for the last 35 years, and now she’d found it. So, she’s been searching since she was one year old? Carl said, God only knew what would have happened if she hadn’t been with him, and Lindsay said his brother would be proud of him. Carl said, his brother was protecting him and keeping an eye on him. He wished his brother had met Lindsay, but he’d inspired Carl to build something with her. His death put things in perspective. He had to trust that everything happens for a reason. I know people say that, but I’m on the fence about whether that’s true, or is it just something people say to make themselves feel better about sh*tty things that happen?

Danielle came bearing cool gifts, and she and Lindsay had a drink on Lindsay’s amazing balcony. She asked if Danielle was good, and Danielle said she had a lot going on with work, Robert was insanely stressed out, and she thought she took on his stress. When he had time off, she didn’t get to talk about her stuff, and she needed her best friend. Lindsay said she felt shunned by Danielle, and not supported in her relationship with Carl. Danielle said, of course she wanted Lindsay to be happy, but she thought of Lindsay like a sister, and if her biological brother was moving too fast, she couldn’t turn a blind eye to that. Lindsay asked what she considered moving insanely fast, and Danielle said, they hadn’t even hit the year mark yet, and there was talk of marriage. If Lindsay wanted her to be a mute, fine. Lindsay said Danielle was allowed to have an opinion, but she wasn’t living her life on Danielle’s timeline. Why did she need Danielle’s blessing to date someone? Danielle said that sounded like crazy pants to her, and told Lindsay not to ask how she was feeling. She was sorry she had a reaction. Lindsay suggested they take a breather, and Danielle stomped off. Honestly, this is one of the stupidest fights ever. If I was just hearing about it, and not seeing how old they are, I’d think they were in middle school.

Kory and Sam showed up, and Paige said they looked like Ken and Barbie. Well, Sam looks like Barbie. Again, are they wearing special Kory goggles or something? In Sam’s interview, she said, Kory brought out the best parts of her; parts some guys were scared of. She told the girls that they’ve been having so much fun, she invited him to the house this weekend. Carl’s mom Sharon and dad with no name arrived, and Sharon told Lindsay that she didn’t know what to feel or think. Lindsay said, neither did Carl. Paige said the party had engagement party vibes, and figured it was because Carl and Lindsay were moving into a $13K a month apartment.  Ciara asked if Danielle and Lindsay made up, and Lindsay said she’d thought they’d had a productive conversation at Kyle’s party. Paige said Ciara had called her several times, saying she wasn’t sure Craig was a good choice. Ciara gave her all the reasons, and Paige thought them over. Carl showed Kyle the ring he’d picked out for Lindsay. Kyle remarked how big it was – three carats – and Carl said he was only going to do it once. He got why people were saying it was fast, but it was the right move. Kyle said, Carl was the only person who needed to feel it 100%.

Back in the Hamptons, Carl said, Wednesday was a lot, but also a lot of fun. Paige asked how Chris’s date with the denim shorts girl went, and he said he took her ax throwing. We saw a clip, and Paige asked if she was good. Chris said he told her that if they crossed paths with a bear, give him the ax. Rather than continuing to call her Denim 2, he found out her name was Cassidy. In his interview, he said he thought there was a vibe, and he wanted to know more. Lindsay told Carl that Danielle finally admitted it had been weird to see them dating, and Carl wondered why Danielle didn’t like it. Was she jealous or projecting? Kyle said he’d just had his first employee quit, and Danielle asked if it was Carl, but that was a no. Carl said he was making homemade pizza for dinner, but Sam said she also had dinner reservations, so the group split up – Kyle, Danielle, Amanda, and Gabby staying home with Carl, and the others going to the restaurant. Since she’s rarely away from Carl, I’m guessing Lindsay wanted to get away from Danielle.  

At the restaurant, while Kory was in the bathroom, the others pumped Sam for information. Sam said she loved making out with Kory, and would be open to more, but forcing something serious could wreck things. Carl told Danielle that he thought she and Lindsay had been receptive after their conversation at Kyle’s party, but it seemed like something happened at the housewarming. Danielle said, a lot couldn’t be undone, and Carl wondered if she didn’t want them together. Danielle said she loved them together, but thought they were moving hella fast. Carl said he appreciated Danielle defending him with Kyle, but she’d moved in with Robert after two months. My brain shorted out a little, since I couldn’t grasp how those two things were related. Danielle asked if Carl wasn’t shopping for rings, and he said he was. She screamed into a pillow.

Next time, more idiocy; the test results come in; Carl tells Lindsay that she’s being rude and to stop.

🚿 April Showering…

Retrace your steps tomorrow for soap and those horrendous women in New Jersey. Until then, stay safe, stay not texting while driving, and stay remembering that being right doesn’t build bridges; compromise does.