What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital – Part 1 — Thursday

Why did Carly just say that Ava got pregnant on purpose? She wasn’t there, but I was, and I distinctly remember that scene in the mausoleum. It was pretty much a surprise to both parties and the audience. Nice try.

You’d think just hearing “Jason” every five minutes would have cured “Jake’s” amnesia by now.  He and Elizabeth have set a November 6 date for their wedding, which is the same date she asked him to move in with her. Hmmm…maybe this will end up being a wedding reveal

It’s Sam & Jason’s anniversary, so to celebrate, she wants to hunt down whoever shot Sonny.

Ava has a court order to reinstate her parental rights, so lots of back and forth with her and Carly in the community center hospital. Stop acting so smug, Morgan.  You certainly didn’t care so much about this when you were busy ripping off “Denise’s” clothes. Morgan once again becomes the voice of reason and tells Carly that she needs to hand Avery over, or she’ll be in violation of the court order. Which no one has actually looked at, so it could be a take-out menu for all they know. (It isn’t. I’m just sayin’.)

Is it me, or are they using some really crappy foundation makeup on this show lately? I’m not saying they need to look perfect (Eastenders, anyone?), but that’s the goal on American soaps, so unless this is some new angle, they’re failing miserably. This is also the downside of HDTV. You can see every nostril hair on everyone.

Paul gives Alexis his I’m-only-in-it-for-the-nobility song and dance. And she believes it. I’m wondering how Alexis even made it to the age that she is, since her gullibility is off the charts. She returns to Julian in her happy place, telling him Paul is “cautiously open-minded” about Julian’s innocence and makes noises about him being a good guy. Meanwhile, Paul is on the phone to Ava plotting Sonny’s demise.

Ha-ha! Baby Avery does not want to leave those gorgeous earrings of Ava’s alone. Having been a mother before, she should know better than to wear danglers while holding an infant. They’ve finally taken a look at it, and the court order says Ava has to give the custodial parent (i.e. Sonny, no, not you, Carly) 24 hours notice before taking her, so for now Ava leaves her with Carly, who will have to break that news to Sonny.

Once again, I’m astounded at baby Avery’s acting skills. Normally, I respond to children on soaps like W.C. Fields, but this one is impressive. The next Starr or Robin maybe?

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Just a note about Watch What Happens Live – What horrifying thing is Pam Anderson wearing? Did she make that herself?

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General Hospital – Part 2 – Friday

I’m assuming for some reason they’re not allowed to use flashbacks with Steve Burton, since we just saw the back of “Jake’s” head in one.  Um…wouldn’t he be looking like his old self, pre plastic surgery, in these memories? Speaking of which, when Jake first showed up, there was a Helena Cassadine tie-in, and it was assumed he learned his tricks of the trade from her, but is no one interested as to how he ended up with her in the first place? I somehow don’t think I’d just be shrugging that off.

“How funny,” Jake says, “that I just had one of your memories, Sam!” He didn’t really say that, but he might as well have.

Baby Avery continues to blow my mind. I love how Sonny is going on about Ava having killed Connie, like he’s squeaky clean. Michael and Morgan continue to hang out in the hospital waiting room, and now Ric has joined them. Why no one has fired him for incompetence yet, I’ll never know. I wouldn’t let this guy represent the squirrel who’s been getting in my bird feeder. On top of it, no one seems to know how the court system works, least of all, Ric.

Cool! Ava is going to represent at a mob sit down. Apparently, the other mob bosses want answers about Sonny’s shooting. Not that I have any experience with this, but you’d think they’d have infiltrators who gather that sort of information. Frankly, I think that Sonny just imports really good coffee and they like sitting down for a klatch.  Ric wants to go to the sit down too, because, coffee.

Morgan wants to go too. They must also serve doughnuts. Or maybe BLTs from Kelly’s. Don’t these people have somewhere else to have a conversation? Now it looks like they’re in some utility room.

Boy, is Elizabeth pushing Patrick to push Sam into marriage. Even Patrick is wondering why.

Sam pulls out those dragon knickknacks that she carries everywhere with her. And “Jake” eats them. Sorry, but this is getting boring unless he’s going to remember who he is.

I feel sorry for that unknown guy who’s been guarding Sonny’s door. It’s a thankless job for sure.

Paul, who looks like every arrogant executive I’ve ever known, tells Ava that she has to set up Julian to take the fall for Sonny’s shooting. I’m not too sure why any of the other “bosses” would even care, since they all were after Sonny at some point. Oh come on! Nobody talks like these mob guys. Not in 2015. The writers must have used The Godfather as a reference.

Oh, this is really nice. Just as Ava sits down at the table, ABC breaks in to give me an update on the Pope. I so appreciate this. I have nothing against him, and actually like him, but they couldn’t wait one freaking minute? And once again to show nothing. It’s not even like he’s pontificating or something. He’s not even on the screen. Heaving huge sigh and emailing ABC.

Z Nation

Murphy has the best of both worlds, but I guess also the worst. He’s somewhat immortal and has certain powers, but he can still enjoy things like food and sex. On the other hand, like Ives said in Ravenous, “It’s lonely being a cannibal. It’s tough making friends.”

I just thought I saw an homage to Death Proof – the way we saw a car going by in the distance – but maybe I just watch too much of this stuff. Who the hell remembers how a car looked passing by?

Operation Bite Mark comes across a convoy of trucks and tanks, who have been ambushed by some renegades and a mini-war is on. You’d think, as with The Walking Dead, that any living humans would band together and FA. After the dust settles, it turns out the convoy is a group transporting survivors to Edmonton, where it’s cold, which the zombies hate. They’ve been poisoned by the radiation and some are on the verge of dying. OBM is invited along and decide to join up. For now. Roberta tells Addy that the truck with the dying people is “a zombie bomb waiting to go off.”

One of the group claims to have some good “seaweed,” so Murphy and Doc join him in his car to go back to the 70s. Seaweed guy mentions that zombies are being used as compost where the weed is grown, which gives Murphy pause while smoking the joint. Are they smoking zombies? Yuk! I’d rather eat those insect protein bars from Snowpiercer. Murphy and Doc are now high as kites.

Apparently, the radiated zombies (called “blasters”) hunt in packs, are very fast and only eat brains. Zombie subculture. The first truck is magnificent, with all kinds of shields and pointy things, a silver buck’s head, and a zombie head on the front, and a tattered American flag up top. Uh-oh. Murphy is getting Cassandra high. No good can come of this.

No good is coming from them meeting up with the renegades again either. My first heart attack of the night is when they surround Doc and his new seaweed buddy, who have taken the car they were smoking in. Cassandra comes to the rescue, and they ditch the car. The leader of the caravan, Custer, isn’t happy about the renegades stealing it. Murphy is getting some really bad vibes and sure enough, some blasters pop out of nowhere. This show is so relentless!

Murphy tries to tap into the zombies’ minds, but it’s not working the way it usually does and they all make a dash for the truck. In the meantime, Custer argues with Roberta over going back for the car, and it turns out that their entire water supply was in it.  Custer blames seaweed guy for the whole fiasco, and makes him get in the back of the bus truck with the radiated regular people. These blasters are pretty scary, since they move fast and weirdly.  They remind of something out of the old Creepy comic books.

Commercial break. It’s those Yellow Labs in the Subaru. If all commercials were like that, I’d watch them. Once again Crimson Peak looks amazing. Even if the story ends up stinking, it looks like it’s worth seeing for the cinematography.

They find the car and Cassandra along with it. She’s dispatched the car jackers. While Custer is arguing (again) with Roberta about who’s going to drive what, Murphy takes off with Cassandra in the car. Addy finds out that Custer’s son is one of the radiated people in the back of the last truck.

Here it comes….ohshitohshitohshitohshit…..

Custer’s son has died and is now a zombie, and zombified the others riding with him, except for Addy, who is shooting at the group of blasters quickly catching up on foot from behind. I told you they were fast. Addy is totally surrounded.

10K pulls her up and over the truck cab – there are zombies crawling all over the place now, and the live people are maneuvering all around. This is all just crazy. They come across a wall of furniture that’s been set on fire by the zombies. Does this mean they can reason? Or at least build a wall and set it on fire? Custer doesn’t want anyone else to drive his truck, but he’s fading fast and Roberta shares the wheel, helping to knock the main zombie off of the truck and into the wheel action underneath. Nice. OBM, following Roberta’s lead, collectively leap off the truck. It’s kind of sad, as Custer is left alone in a truck covered with zombies. We don’t actually see him die, but trust me, he’s dead.

Murphy has decided to take a road trip with Cassandra and seaweed guy. Seaweed guy has told Murphy that the place where the weed was from is an old GMO lab where they’re also trying to find an herbal cure for the zombie condition. So they head for Minneapolis. The rest of OBM will no doubt be following them.

Where was Citizen Z this week???

I’m surprised the Parents Television Council isn’t all over this show. Don’t get me wrong. I agree with them on a lot of things, and maybe the day will come when we can just pay for individual networks, but I also want more sophisticated entertainment than what’s on the Hallmark channel.

BTW, the Sy – we can’t spell – Fy channel tells me that this isn’t a TV show, it’s “an experience.”