Tag Archives: Real Housewives

Dec14

December 13, 2016 – Tom is Trapped, Dorit is Celebrating & Caroline #1 is Just Plain Rude

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tom says Franco can’t keep him forever. Franco says he’s in there because of what he did to Elizabeth and clearly he hasn’t been rehabilitated. He tells Tom he’s going to make sure that he never hurts anyone again.

Hayden and Finn are talking and all of a sudden she has a seizure, and the alarms go off.

Carly asks Michael what’s up with his outfit. He says Nell felt under-dressed for the gala, so he made some modifications. He asks if Carly has seen Nell, and explains she was gone when he came back to the terrace.

Nell asks herself why she went with Michael when she knew it was only going to make things harder. She looks at her scar and says it doesn’t change what Carly did, and she deserves what she has coming.

Sonny asks Jason if he’s going to tell Carly what happened between him and Nell.

Carly tells Michael that maybe they got their wires crossed. Nell wouldn’t just leave when they were having a good time. He says maybe she’s right.

Nell looks at the note from her father that she keeps in a music/jewelry box. The kind with the ballerina that spins around. Her phone rings.

Sonny says Jason can’t run to Carly and tell her. Jason says he wasn’t going to do that, but he wants sonny to. Sonny says he’s not easing his conscience at Carly’s expense.

Michael and Carly discuss Christmas plans. She tells him that she and Sonny are getting along, and she’s probably spending most of Christmas at his house. Michael asks if they’re getting back together. She says she didn’t mean to imply that, but they are getting along, and she thinks it would be good for all of them to be together.

Tracy runs into Hayden’s room and tells Hayden she’s going to be all right. Finn injects a stabilizer. It’s the drug he’s been taking, and Tracy says she thought he was running low. He says he is, and it won’t keep them both alive much longer.

Tom tells Franco that he paid his debt to society. Tom asks what Franco deserves. Franco says he was sick, and Tom asks what he thinks this is. Franco says he’s doing a public service and protecting every woman who’s unlucky enough to cross Tom’s path. Elizabeth knocks at the door. Franco turns up the music, and gives Tom a shock on the collar before he can say anything. Franco tells him if he tries to take off the collar, he’ll turn it up to Irish Wolfhound.

Franco answers the door. Elizabeth says she’s on her dinner break, and she needs to talk to him about Tom.

Finn says now that he and Hayden are sharing, it’s two weeks tops. Tracy says she’ll call Sonny, but Finn says the last time was a problem, and this time someone might call the FBI. He says Hayden was exposed to a concentrated form of the disease, so it’s hitting her harder, and the shot will only keep her going one or two days. Tracy tells him to get to work and quit hovering around her; the only hope they have is for him to find a cure. She tells him to get on it before she has to bury him, and he has to bury Hayden. Hmm…that sequence doesn’t sound right.

Nell thinks about Michael. Then she thinks about Sonny. She texts Michael.

Michael tells Carly that Sonny wants her there for Christmas, but she shouldn’t get Sonny’s hopes up. Nell texts him that she wasn’t feeling well. He tells Carly that whatever she decides, he’s there for her and he loves them both.

Sonny asks Jason if he wants him to make Carly’s holidays worse by telling her about Nell. Jason says Carly will understand. Sonny says it’s not like Jason never kept a secret; he pretended to be Michael’s father for a year. Jason says that was to protect them. Sonny says keep the secret and he saves a family. If he tells Carly, he risks breaking them up for good.

Michael knocks at Nell’s door as she listens to her music box. He brought chicken noodle soup, ginger ale and her coat. She apologizes for leaving so abruptly. She says she had been dealing with a guest that was sick, then she felt sick, and she didn’t want to get him sick. He says she doesn’t feel warm, and she says she took something. He says if they’re ever out and she feels awkward or bored, to tell him the truth.

Sonny tells Jason that he’s not having an affair. Morgan died and he made a mistake; that’s not going to happen again. He asks if Jason is going to play God and tell her. Carly comes in. She says she brought a Christmas tree, and Jason can help unload it. She says they have kids and it’s important that they have a good Christmas. She asks what she walked in on.

Elizabeth wants to come in, but Franco says no; she’d see her present. He’s working on something that he feels strongly about, and Elizabeth thinks he’s making her something. He says nothing in the store would adequately express what she means to him. He came up with the perfect idea, but it’s only in the beginning stages.

Tracy says she’ll look after Hayden. She tells Finn, physician heal thyself, and while he’s at it, heal Hayden. Finn tells Hayden he has to go away for a bit. She asks him not to leave her alone, but he says there’s work to be done. She tells him she has someone else now, and calls him daddy. She says he’s never thought anyone was good enough, but she’s the one not good enough. She starts to describe Finn and says he’d like him. Finn plays along. She says when she’s being difficult, he gives it back to her, and they’re good for each other. She says Finn means end in French, and he’s her end. She doesn’t need to waste time looking for anyone else. She loves him.

Finn says he’s right there, and Hayden asks what happened. He says he has her stabilized and she says she’s never getting better just worse. Tracy suggests she’ll get better if Finn gets to work. Hayden tells him when he finds it to come back, and he says he’ll be bringing skates.

Sonny tells Carly that he and Jason were talking about Morgan. She asks Jason if he knows who did it, and Jason says not yet, but he’s making progress. He says he knows the holidays will be tough, the first Christmas without Morgan, and wants her to know he’s on it. He says he cares very much about all of them and wants them to be okay. Carly says no promises, but they’re working on it.

Nell apologizes to Michael, and says she should have just told him the truth. Michael says it’s on him. She made it clear she wanted to keep things professional, and he twisted her arm to come. She says it’s not like she left because she was having a bad time; she was having a great time. She’s the one who should have held back to not blur the lines He says he needed a friend, and thought she needed one too.

Franco tells Elizabeth that it’s not like anything he’s ever done before, but if it doesn’t work out, he’ll get her a slinket, a blanket with sleeves. She says she’d rather have what he’s making, but she wanted to talk about Tom. She says she doesn’t want him making it worse when things are good right now. She says she doesn’t need him to vanquish Tom. He asks what that means, and she tells him that she doesn’t need him to be a hero; he already is to her.

Nell tells Michael she could use a friend. When Carly offered her the job, she thought it was exciting to start over, but didn’t realize how lonely it would be. Everything is unfamiliar and overwhelming.She wonders if she made the right decision, and thinks maybe her life in Atlanta meant more to her than she thought. He asks why she ran, and she says his mom is her boss and the job is the only thing she has. Michael says he’ll leave her alone. She says the truth is, she’d hate it if he never bothered her again. They both need a friend, and if things get complicated, so what? Life is full of complications.

The tree is set up. Sonny says no matter how many people are in the house… Someone will be missing, Carly finishes. She says they should all be together and miss him here. She says it’s supposed to be about joy, but if they’re together they can be sad together as Morgan’s family. She tells Jason he’s included too, and he thanks her. She asks him what’s on his mind.

Elizabeth tells Franco that maybe he’s not a traditional hero, but to her he is one. He says maybe they read different comic books, and that heros should do everything they can to keep everyone safe. She says Tom hasn’t done anything. Fracno adds, yet. She says if she could wave a magic wand and never see him again, she would, but neither one of them have that power. They can only move forward together. He says he wants that, and she’s like, just do it.

Hayden thinks Tracy is her mother. Tracy says she isn’t, and Hayden says that her father wasn’t her father, and now she doesn’t want to be her mother. She asks if she reminds her of the affair, a reminder of her life’s greatest failure. Tracy says that’s not true. She’s not her biggest failure, the only failure is her. She failed her daughter.

Finn yells at his notes, asking them why they keep failing (word of the day). He apologizes to Roxie for scaring her. He says if it doesn’t happen soon, Hayden will die. He’s thisclose and wonders what he’s missing. He gives Roxie some treats. He talks about her losing scales to make way for shiny new ones and has an epiphany. He talks about getting rid of what’s unusable to make way for what is.

Tracy tells Hayden that she wasn’t a good mother; she was harsh and judgmental and cold, but not because she didn’t care – she was inept. Even though she was raised by the sweetest woman, she put business and profit first. We realize she’s talking about herself now. Hayden says things can always change. Tracy says she doesn’t have to live the way she did yesterday, and she loves Hayden. Hayden says she loves her too. She says she found someone to love, but it’s too late to do anything about it.

Finn picks up Roxie and a syringe, and says maybe she’ll be saving Hayden’s life.

Elizabeth asks Franco to spend the holiday with her and the boys. He says he’d do anything for her. She tells him not to overboard with the kids. She has to get back to work, and asks him to meet her for coffee later. He says his project is at a critical phase, and he wants to keep going. They say good-by.

Tom fiddles with the lock on the crate, but stops when Franco comes back in. Franco says he wants them to get along in their time together, and doesn’t want to use the shocker. Tom says he doesn’t want to die, but Franco says he’s not that guy. Elizabeth has changed him. He’s not going to kill Tom, just end his life as he knows it.

Jason says it’s great to see two of his best friends getting along, and hopes it’s a sign of things to come. Carly does too. She says she’ll be in touch about Christmas, and leaves. Sonny asks Jason if he’s going to say anything.

Nell tells Michael that she really did have a good time. Michael says tell him if things get awkward, and she says she’ will. He leaves, and she goes back to her music box. She takes out a baby rattle.

Jason tells Sonny that it’s important that Carly heal, and she might not be able to if the truth comes out. But if she asks why he’s acting weird, he’ll make up a story. He asks that Sonny do right by his family, and Carly.

Tomorrow, Sam tells Maxie a secret, Ava wants to help Julian, and Alexis says she can’t do this.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I love how these girls always say some tragedy changed their outlook on everything, but it never happens. They’re still the same pot stirrers they were before.

Kyle picks up LisaR in her Lamborghini. Lisa says if her husband brought one home, she’d think aliens had taken over his body. Kyle talks about going to get burgers after Erika’s birthday party because they were starving. Lisa tells Kyle that her name got changed to Doritos on the phone when she tried to call. Then it changed to Cheerios. Autocorrect – always good for a laugh.

LisaV is doing some riding. In her interview, she says Ken bought her a horse when she was in her 20s and she’s loved them ever since. She talks about going to a show that’s like Cirque du Soliel for horses, and she’s getting one that’s retiring. She points out that his “winkie” is out, and tells him to put that back. No surprise, he’s beautiful. Lisa says she prefers animals to people and I’m down with that. She tells Ken about talking to LisaR at the party, and that Dorit has only seen one side of these girls.

LisaR tells Kyle how she’s come to believe you have to accept people for what they are. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV should either forgive both Eileen and LisaR or neither of them. I dunno. Doesn’t some of that depend on them?

LisaV tells Ken that Dorit seemed to enjoy herself at Erika’s party. She thinks that because she and Dorit have so many friends in common for so many years, she won’t be listening to the trash talk.

Dorit is getting ready for her own party. Her husband is putting it together all on his own. She says he’s not too good at detail though, so she consults with his party planner. She says she’s crazy until she knows everything is done. She thinks PK might be buying her a car for her birthday. She says if it’s Tiffany blue, she won’t be able to fake a smile, because that color should only be on a box with something pretty inside. I could argue that a Maserati is exactly that.

PK presents Dorit with a rose gold Bentley. She tells him he can count on her for a yes to anything for life. She goes for a test drive.

Kyle and LisaR go to the gym. Her daughter Alexia joins them. Kyle wants to spend time with her before she goes back to school in Boston. They do a rowing class.

Eileen gets hair and makeup done at the studio. The Young and the Restless is celebrating their 11,000th episode, and the cast is doing interviews about their favorite moments on the show. We flash back to Eileen’s first scene. She brings up the storyline when her character got an abortion. She says if she could do her own story arc, Ashley would be an Erika Jayne, slaying it in gay clubs. I think she has a girl crush on Erika.

Erika auditions backup dancers. Her 10th video is coming up. We see clips of her various videos, my favorite being How Many F**ks Do I Give? She’s looking for two things – can you nail the steps and are you sexy? She approaches things in an in-your-face way, and expects the same from her dancers. After some dancing, her assistant tells the dancers they can leave so the team can talk about them. They go through the resumes and photos. We see a picture of Erika when she was practically a toddler putting shows on at home. The dancers are chosen. Wardrobe is discussed. Erika is concerned about doing the splits in a bikini.

One of LisaR’s daughters is making zucchini pasta. She says she’d rather have regular pasta and I concur, although if someone else made it, I’d eat it. Lisa says her mother was not a great cook. She was big on casseroles, frozen dinners, and Jello. The girls say they think the only thing she’s ever made for them is macaroni and cheese. (Probably the Kraft kind.) Daughter Delilah has been going to casting calls in NYC. In her interview, and her sister is showing a little sibling jealousy.

Dorit’s party is being set up. I can assure you that means more than putting bowls of chips and dip out. Dorit is having an anxiety problem where her nose runs, and I’ve never heard of such a thing.

The guests begin to arrive, taken to the front door in golf carts. LisaV thinks it seems sedate, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. She talks to some soccer player who I have no clue about. Dorit makes her entrance, and is also hoping there’s more to the party than just having drinks in the living room. Lisa compliments her on losing the baby weight. She talks to Dorit about Erika’s party. Dorit thinks all the women were cool, but in her interview, Lisa says she thought Eileen was pretty cold to her and I agree.

Kyle and Mauricio arrive. Everyone compliments each other on how good they look. LisaR tells Dorit they’re practically neighbors. LisaV keeps throwing shade at LisaR, but LisaR thinks it’s progress. At least they’re communicating. In her interview, LisaV says she likes it when LisaR isn’t calling her a manipulative bitch. She tells Kyle she gave them the power to cause her pain, but now she’s taking it back. In her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t think Lisa ever gave anything away she didn’t want to.

Eileen thinks it seems strange for what happened between her and LisaV to just disappear. She says she’s trying to figure out how to be okay. She’s sure LisaR is too, but their approaches are different. She and LisaV make small talk, and it’s extremely awkward. Lisa says she sorry about Eileen’s father passing away, and Eileen starts laughing because she though Lisa was going to apologize for causing her angst last season. Please. Let it go already. How many sorrys does she want?

Kyle asks if Boy George is coming by, but Dorit says he’s on tour. Kyle is disappointed since she wanted to borrow some eyeliner. Erika shows up in a T-shirt, and in her interview, Dorit says the invite said “stunning.” In her interview, Erika points out that her T-shirt dress came straight off the runway. Well, it might have, but it did look dowdy next to the gowns. She looked like she was going to a totally different party. She gives Dorit a Chanel cosmetic bag that she wanted for herself, but they only had one. Everybody mingles.

Eileen tells LisaV when she offered condolences, she thought she was apologizing again. Lisa asks if she’s mad, meaning out of her mind. In her interview, Eileen says she doesn’t want any misunderstandings. In her interview, Lisa says hell would freeze over before she apologized again. Kyle thinks Lisa can be a little rude.

Dorit’s parents introduce themselves around. PK makes an announcement. He says anyone who knows them, knows they don’t do low key or boring. He welcomes them to Dorit’s Buddha Lamp.

He opens the door to a sort of disco. It has a sushi bar and all kinds of lighting effects. Dorit wonders how on earth PK was able to create this in their backyard. Erika says he did well – smoke, lights, ice sculptures, she’s down. There’s a wall of red roses that says happy birthday. LisaV says she knew something big was going on. Dorit is thrilled and says she couldn’t have done it better. The two Lisas dance with Kyle. In her interview, LisaR says she’s never going to get an apology, so she’s done the forgiving and she can move on. She apologizes to LisaV for being hard her, and LisaV is pretty shocked. She says it gives her hope for the future.

Erika is having water because she has a stomach bug. Great. Thanks for telling us after we’ve kissed you, hugged you, and shook your hand. She’s like that person who says they’re sick just as the elevator door closes. Everyone mingles, eats, drinks, dances and has a wonderful time. PK talks about his wasted youth. In her interview, LisaV talks about being glad they have mutual friends there, because sometimes her British humor gets her in trouble.

Eileen is talking with Dorit, and LisaV joins them. Eileen suddenly wonders where her husband is, and Lisa jokes that he’s in the corner with a woman, which doesn’t exactly endear her to Eileen. PK asks everyone to come out to the dance floor. He brings over a throne and has Dorit sit in it. He tells everyone that she’s the reason for his strength. He gets all teary and praises her, and everyone laps it up. She runs up on stage and hugs him. In her interview she says he outdid himself and has a beautiful way of showing his love to her. I’m definitely impressed.

LisaR thinks this is as good as it’s going to get with LisaV, and hopes that it’s closure and they move on. Eileen tells them about LisaV’s joke. In her interview, Eileen says she can take a joke, but also has an idea of who Lisa is, and thinks her British humor is a little loaded. Dorit jokes that she guesses that she’s not having a cake this year. Although there’s probably a two-story, gold-leafed cake hiding behind the neighbor’s house.

Next time, Harrison goes jewelry shopping, LisaR’s daughters teach her about dating apps, and Eileen says good-by to the family home.

♔ A note on Ladies of London. Marissa’s baby is back in the hospital, so she missed the field trip to Mapperton. This means she also missed Julie telling us all about how the sandwich came to be named, and also that the Sandwich Islands in Hawaii are a tribute to the Earl of sandwich. Caroline #1 continues to be a rude, self-absorbed a-hole, or as Juliet put it, she’s turned into Madonna. She acts like a five-year-old during their time at the estate, not only arriving there three hours late, but being over an hour late to dinner. Unfortunately, Caroline #2 is feeling the repercussions of what she let slip to the press about her father’s illness, and his wife (of which there have been many) is being really nasty to her. This is a shame, since she seems like a sensitive human being. Next time, Caroline #1 continues to spread her lack of good cheer. Hopefully, three ghosts will visit her on Christmas Eve. 🎄

Dec7

December 6, 2016 – Secrets Abound on GH, Below Deck Ends, Beverly Hills Begins & Ladies of London Gets an Honorable Mention

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly he couldn’t find the gifts. She tells him he was looking on the wrong side of the bed.

Michael asks Nell if they’re still on for the gala, which he just asked her to five minutes ago. Kiki walks into the office.

In the parking garage, Jason peels the name off the side of the van. Underneath, it says Derek Wells Media, which is Julian’s company. The light bulb comes on over Jason’s head.

Alexis tells Julian that he’s blackmailing her, but he calls it tough love. She sarcastically tells him his concern for the greater good is one of his finest qualities. He tells her that the ethics committee is the least of her concerns. Jordan has been nosing around about the hit and run. Alexis finds it ironic that he’s threatening to involve police. Sam sees Alexis in Julian’s room and asks her what she’s doing there.

Charlotte tells Santa that she wants her mommy for Christmas. She and Lulu lock eyes. Laura asks if Lulu found Rocco’s Christmas list. She asks who the little girl is, and Dante tells her. He asks if Lulu has met her. She says no, she hasn’t.

Carly digs the gifts out from under the bed and goes back downstairs. Sonny looks at the photo of them together and then at the necklace.

Michael tells Kiki that Nell agreed to come to the Toys for Tots benefit with him. Kiki says she’s there to pick up her final paycheck. Michael wonders what happened, and Kiki tells him that she and Carly came to an understanding. Michael tells her good luck with whatever’s next, and tells Nell he’ll text her with the details. When he leaves, Kiki is like, you and Michael?

Carly is on her phone, and tells Sonny that for a season of love and good cheer, people can be very demanding. This is a surprise? Sonny suggests Olivia take some of the load. Carly says she’ll be sure to tell Olivia that it was his idea.

Curtis tells Jason that this could mean a few things, and they kick around a few scenarios. They decide to damage the van and then pretend to be concerned, responsible citizens who want to pay for the damage. Jason bashes the van with a crowbar.

Julian tells Sam that he asked Alexis to come. Sam asks what reason Alexis could have for seeing the man who tried to kill her.

Valentin introduces Charlotte to Rocco and they go off for cookies. He tells Dante and Lulu that their children have taken a shine to each other. Lulu doesn’t look pleased.

Michael stops by Sonny’s and they talk about celebrating Christmas early with Josslyn. Carly thanks Sonny for helping her, and he thanks her for coming by. Michael asks Carly if she can spare Nell on the 12th.

Nell tells Kiki that there’s nothing going on between her and Michael. She thinks he just took pity on her and wanted her to have a night out. Kiki says he’s thoughtful and starts to say something else, but stops. She tells Nell that they had a brief relationship, but they broke up because she hurt him and she went back to Morgan. She says she was keeping a huge secret from him.

Dante tells Valentin to back off, but Nina says this is for the kids. Laura thinks that Nina should ask Valentin to leave, but Doc suggests radical acceptance. He says that you can’t control the situation, but you can control your attitude and where you put your focus. Lulu talks to Charlotte. She starts asking Charlotte questions, but Nina says the only question Charlotte should be answering is what she wants for Christmas.

Alexis tells Sam that she thought it might be her last chance to tell Julian to go to hell. Sam says now that she knows Julian is going to live, can they go? Alexis says they’re done, and she and Sam leave. In the hallway, Sam asks Alexis if she’s all right. Alexis says she’s somewhere between yay he’s out of her life, and at least he didn’t hold a knife to her throat. Sam says she has the feeling there’s something else. Alexis says she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she’s done with Julian. Sam goes down in the elevator.

Laura steers Santa to the kids. Nina says if Lulu and Dante have a problem with Valentin, fine, but it doesn’t give them the right to interrogate his daughter. Valentin says he loves Charlotte the same way they love their children. He suggests a playdate and Dante is like, no. Nina wants to get Valentin and Charlotte some hot chocolate, and they leave together. Dante asks Lulu what’s up with that?

The driver shows up and asks Jason and Curtis if they’re the idiots who messed up the van. They claim they were arguing over a Bill’s game and it got out of control. The driver says his boss is going to be mad, and they’re going to have to pay for it. Curtis says they want to talk to him about his boss, and asks if it’s Julian.

Michael explains about taking Nell to the gala, and Carly thinks it’s a fine idea. She leaves, and Michael asks Sonny about her visit. Sonny says he doesn’t know what she’s feeling, and Michael says it looks like a start of the thaw. Sonny asks if Michael is interested in Nell.

Nell asks what secret Kiki kept from Michael. Kiki says it had to do with their parents, but Michael deserves someone who treats him better than she did. Nell gives her the check, and says that Kiki is taking it well. Kiki says it was time to leave. Nell says it would be understandable if there were hard feelings.

Kiki says she has no hard feelings. She asks Nell if she told Carly about their conversation regarding her breaking up with Morgan. Nell says she didn’t say anything, and Kiki tells her that both Carly and Michael knew about her plans and were furious at first, but now they’re being kind. They’ll never forget though, and she doesn’t blame them. She says the loss and hurt stay with you. Nell agrees.

Michael tells Sonny that he and Nell are just friends. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t take better care of Sonny, but Nell pinch-hit and he wants to return the favor.

The driver thinks Curtis and Jason are cops because they’re asking about Julian. Curtis says his partner is crazy and took his anger out on the van with a tire iron. Jason says he used to do what he was told. but one morning woke up with a chip in his brain, and now gets urges to hit something or someone until the voices go away. He suggests the driver tell them what he knows about Julian.

Julian says, back so soon? to Alexis and she tells him drop dead. He says had she hit someone else, they might not be so understanding. He says he’s not trying to extort anything from her (no, just her time and emotion) or have her do criminal acts; he just wants her to help him.

Laura tells Santa he has a five-minute break and closes the door. He asks what she’d like for Christmas. She wonders if it’s cliche to say world peace. He says that’s out of his league. She says peace of mind then, and he says he can work with that. She asks what’s going on with Charlotte. He tells Laura that she’s well-adjusted considering the upheaval. Laura says she also adores her father, and has no idea what Valentin is capable of.

Valentin and Nina have taken Charlotte to Kelly’s. Nina has Charlotte go to pick out a cookie, and Valentin thanks Nina for her interception. She says he could have held his own with Lulu. He says when someone puts that much energy into not liking you, you have to walk on egg shells. Nina wonders why Lulu wants to get so involved, and says they have to protect Charlotte.

Sam and Molly enter Kelly’s. Sam sees Valentin and stops short. She tells Molly who Valentin is.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, something came over her. She was immediately drawn to her and can’t explain it. Dante says he thinks he can.

Carly tells Nell sorry she’s late and that it’s been a stressful day. She says she went to see Sonny. Nell asks how he seemed, and Carly says distracted. She tells Nell that she gave her the night off for the gala, and she’s glad Michael has a friend like her.

Michael thinks Sonny and Carly’s relationship is getting better, and that Carly came there to see him, no matter what excuse she gave. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re back together, and she doesn’t want to punish him for something he didn’t do.

Dante tells Lulu that Charlotte has been bounced around like a pinball. Lulu says that she also recently found out they lost their chance to have another child. Dante tells her that she’s a caring person and Charlotte has been through a lot, so her instincts kicked in; she wants to protect Charlotte. Lulu says she’s sure he must be right, but I’m not buying that she believes it.

Valentin tells Nina how lovely she looks. He mentions that she said “we” need to take care of Charlotte. She apologizes for the presumption, but he says it means the world to him. Nina tells him that she’s completely taken with Charlotte and her adorableness. She says it’s no secret that she wants a child, but this has nothing to do with that; she wants what’s best for her. Valentin says he’s thanking his lucky stars. He could have easily walked past Nina the night they met in the hotel. There was something about her though. She’s charming and beautiful, but it’s more than that. Most people have an agenda, but she’s honest about who she is and what she wants, and he likes her.

Outside Kelly’s, Molly tells Sam that she wants to give Valentin a piece of her mind. Sam says he’ll just say it’s a misunderstanding and besides, they have their own family issues to deal with. She tells Molly that Alexis was visiting Julian, and she’s not believing the reason. She thinks Alexis still has a soft spot for him.

Alexis asks Julian what he wants help with. He says he’ll need it when he gets home from the hospital, and she says they have nurses for that. He says he’ll need help with things like shaving, brushing his teeth, and showering. Um…I think they do that too. Alexis asks if this is his ultimate form of punishment, for her to spend every waking hour with him. He says she didn’t used to feel like that, and she says holding a knife to someone’s throat ruins a relationship. He tells her that if anyone finds out she’s the one who hit him, she won’t only lose her license, she’ll lose her freedom.

Jason wants to know what happened the night of the bomb. The driver says it was his assignment to park there. His boss Julian told him to do it.

Nell asks if Carly is worried about Sonny. Carly says there’s something on his mind, and now that she knows he’s not responsible for Morgan’s death… Nell says she thinks they belong together. Nell’s phone rings. It’s Sonny. He tells Nell they need to talk.

Doc tells Laura that Valentin might have been right in saying they’ll always be connected. He says Charlotte is Nicholas’s cousin. Laura says Nicholas is gone, and there’s no more connection. She adds that as much as she hates being involved with Valentin, part of her feels compelled to look out for Charlotte because she is Nicholas’s family, making her part of Laura’s family as well. Doc says she has amazing generosity of spirit and it’s one of the reasons he loves her. A kid bangs on the door saying Santa’s break is over.

Dante asks if Lulu is okay. She says it’s something about Charlotte, and then says never mind.

Nina tells Valentin that she was thinking about Charlotte’s Christmas wish. She says not even a purple unicorn can make up for missing your mother. He says between them, they can make a fine Christmas for her. I’d love to see some kind of A Christmas Carol story with this bunch.

Molly thinks maybe Alexis can get some closure in seeing Julian. Sam says Julian is a narcissist who is encouraged by any attention. Molly says it’s better than Alexis starting to thaw (theme for today). Sam hopes that Alexis knows what she’s doing.

Julian asks Alexis if they have a deal. Alexis says fine. She says no one will believe it though, since everyone knows how much she hates his guts, but he says she can make something up. She says she’s figured it out and they have a deal. That was fast.

Curtis tells Jason that the psycho act was great. The driver is most likely in Canada by now. Jason says he’s probably more worried about Julian than him. Jason says it won’t take long for Julian to figure things out, and Curtis says Julian planted the bomb in his own car. Just in case we haven’t been paying attention.

Tomorrow, Anna asks Andre for help, Lulu wants to know why she feels so strongly about Charlotte, and a gathering happens on Spoon Island.

Below Deck

I’ve decided Ben is kind of an a-hole, which is too bad because I liked him up until now. Anyone who blames someone else for how they act is just, no.

Kate complains to Ben about the stews taking breaks before their work is done. Sierra gets offended because anyone born after 1985 gets offended by just about anything. Kate says it isn’t that they don’t have an amazing team, she just wants them to hit it out of the park for the last charter. When the guests leave, the boat has to look perfect. Ben thinks Kate should be more respectful of people’s breaks. By that I assume he means Emily’s breaks.

Dawn and her guests are doing the snorkeling thing. Nico and Kyle just want to get finished. Kyle says Sierra is an idiot, and Nico points out that he thought she was cool before he found out that she wasn’t into him. Lauren and Kyle talk about hating the job until it’s over; then they love it. In her interview, Lauren says no matter how much they bicker, the crew really loves each other. Um…I dunno about that. Nico says Sierra and Kyle’s fight has nothing to do with him, the same way his altercations with Kate have nothing to do with Kyle, who thinks Kate is awesome.

Sierra has to get a hug from Emily because, see above. She thinks Kate is just looking for things to criticize them about. Emily and Ben chat about finally getting sprung. In her interview, Emily says they’ll see how it goes, as far as having a relationship on the outside. Ha-ha! I’m making it sound like they’re in jail.

Kate encourages Ben to have the food ready when the guests get back. He disagrees, saying they usually want to have a shower and cocktail first. He asks Emily what she thinks because she has so much experience. Emily doesn’t really want to get involved. Ben tells Kate that he’s the chef and calling the shots. He claims he has a valid reason. Kate tries to talk, but he says he’s going to do what he wants anyway. See what I mean?

The guests get back. They’re hungry. Kate tells Ben they’re starving. Captain Lee announces only 16 more hours left. Kate brings out the food and Dawn asks if the captain would like to join them for dinner. Kate tells Ben to keep the food coming. In his interview, Ben says Kate used to be a pleasure to work with. Kate tells the captain about the guests requesting his presence.

Kelley says they’ve grown as a team and now it’s over. He says they’re a highly dysfunctional family, but they’re a family. They promise to all keep in touch. Yeah, we all know how that goes.

Sierra asks Kate if she thinks they’re not working hard enough. Kate tells her about the lack of toilet paper in the guest bathrooms, which I agree is a huge no-no. She says she’s always given them compliments and doesn’t want to finish on a negative note. She mentions that she isn’t taking a break either. She thinks maybe Sierra needs to talk about something, but Sierra says no. Had your chance.

OMG – dinner! Clams or something. It looks amazing. And shrimp! The captain joins the guests. The guests fire questions at him. I find out that he has five children and is from Michigan. Kate compliments Ben on the calamari. She says she never knows which Ben she’s going to get and he says he’s 50 shades of Ben. Ha-ha! Everyone is happy for the moment. Dessert! Kyle says Ben and Kate either hate or love each other and it’s confusing. Kate tells Ben the worst day with him is better than the best day with some of the other chefs.

Kyle asks if Sierra had a mental breakdown. Kate says she tried to be nice, but felt disrespected. Kyle says he prefers to talk face to face, and doesn’t understand why the stews are so defensive with her. In his interview, Kyle says Kate had his back from day one. Kate says she’s done nothing to Nico and Lauren to warrant them talking behind her back, and they have no business questioning her decisions. She tells Kyle she doesn’t need to hear what the one stripe people think. Oh, snap.

Two hours and twenty-six minutes. Ben says he’s mentally moved on and is already in his apartment. The guests are the only ones who don’t want to leave. The captain thinks the Kelley/Nico team has done well.

The final meal! The blue water! The Jacuzzi! Sierra and Lauren gossip about Kate. Zzzzz….

Anchor is dropped and the ship docks. The guests are ready to go. Good-bys are said. Dawn gets emo with the captain who just wants it to be over. He tells everyone to head for the crew mess. This charter’s tip is 16K. The crew has made a total of $13,500 in tips all season. Captain Lee tells the crew to get the boat in better shape than when they got it.

Kate talks to Lauren and Nico. She says she’s heard what they said about how she’d tattled on them to the captain, but the captain found their mess all on his own. She says she had their back and doesn’t rat out the crew. However, she doesn’t appreciate giving them permission to use the boat and them turning the tables. Nico gets pissed and leaves. Lauren apologizes. In her interview, Kate says she’s disappointed. She says at least talk to her face. Nico complains to Kelley who’s staying out of it.

Ashley shows up, and everyone gets ready to go out. The girls all look super cute. Ben wants to make amends with Kate, since she’s a great friend of his and they’re not working together anymore.

The crew goes to a restaurant and begins to drink. The food looks excellent, and I eat vicariously. Ben and Kate step aside to talk. Emily wonders wtf? She tells Sierra it’s confusing. She doesn’t know where they stand or where she stands with Ben. Sierra suggests she give him a chance and get to know him. She also thinks that Emily should say something.

Sierra asks Ben about his relationship with Kate. He says there’s no need to diagnose it. In his interview, he says now Emily is in the middle of all the emotion, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He asks Emily if she wants him to hate Kate forever, and says he’ll be mean to Kate just for her. He says that he and Kate are better off as friends than colleagues, and she brings out a person he doesn’t want to be. He was hoping that Emily had a better grasp of the situation. What I think is that Ben is in love with Kate, and his attraction to Emily has become a problem. Not to mention, Kate is in a relationship.

Kyle comes thisclose to telling Ashley that she completes him. He wants to take things up a notch. He asks Kate for a ring. She’s wearing one that she says is worth two thousand bucks and he says he’ll give her a thousand. Deal. He says he’s proposed once before, but she threw the ring at him the same night. He takes Ashley aside and gets down on one knee. She says yes. Everyone cheers.

Ben acts rude to Kate. She asks if he’s okay. He’s obviously angry. She gives him a drink and he guzzles it. He tells her he doesn’t like working with her anymore. What a jerk he’s become. I hope Emily dumps him, but she’s kind of stupid, so maybe he deserves her. He tells Kate that they’re better off as friends. She says she doesn’t like working with him that much either. She thinks the booze is talking, and she’s tired of hearing it. He says Emily just grilled him about their relationship. Kate tells him that he’s rude, and in her interview, she says that he’s so self-destructive, it’s embarrassing.

Back at the boat, Ashley and Kyle get the guest cabin. Ben gossips with Nico and Lauren. Idiots.

In the morning Ben approaches Kate and apologizes. He says he’s sorry if he ruined her evening. She says it’s typical. He tells her that they’ve come a long way together and he values their friendship. He says he loves her and he’ll always have her back. He asks for a hug, but in her interview, she says the friendship isn’t salvageable.

Lauren tells Nico what great friends they are. Hugs. I think she thinks they’ll still get together one day. Kate says you need a thick skin to work on a boat, and she doesn’t think Sierra has it. Sierra is proud of herself, but thinks she does need to toughen up. Nico and Kelley do the bro thing. Kyle pays Kate for the ring. She expects an invite to the wedding. Kyle can’t wait to have a proper bacon sandwich with HP sauce, which is a brown sauce kind of like Worcestershire.

Kelley tells Kate that he tried to emulate her. In her interview, she thinks he did an amazing job. Kelley talks to the captain, saying he tried to redeem himself, and thinks he did better. I’m not sure by Captain Lee’s face if he’s in agreement, but he says Kelley has progressed incredibly. Kelley is shocked and so am I, and he thanks the captain for his help. Captain Lee says he’d love to work with him again, and Kelley thanks him for the second chance.

Ben apologizes to Emily. He says he felt like a bit of a d*ck. That’s because he was, and more than a bit of. He says she’s the last person he’d want to insult, and he thinks she’s special. In her interview, she says that she’ll give him another chance, but be wary. They kiss. Ben leaves with the flowers and leaves them on the deck so that everyone can trip over them.

In his interview, Ben says that Emily probably hates him, but he’s going to try to make a go of it. She takes a rose out of the flowers. Ben says being in a relationship and doing his job was probably more than he could chew, but he did it, and was a solid seven. By my estimation, he was more like a shaky three.

Kate says good by to the captain. As she leaves, he tells her that she still looks like a guest more than the chief stew.

Captain Lee says this season was tough. We flash back to some of the highlights. He says the bottom line is that the guests left happy and they made a ton of money. Without a doubt, he has the best damn job in the world.

This was the finale. They usually have a reunion, but as of the last one, hadn’t been elevated out of the clubhouse yet.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle’s closet is everything. LisaV calls. They’re planning on meeting at PUMP, and Kyle jokes as to whether they allow the wearing of Birkenstocks (at least I think she’s joking), and asks who’s going to be there. She doesn’t know the couple, but says Boy George loves them. Kyle is friendly with him and says everybody knows everybody in Beverly Hills.

Erika discusses her new song with husband Tom. It’s at number eight, and she says her career is growing. He says he wants to give her a birthday present early. She’s have a big blowout for her 45th. In her interview, she jokes (again, I’m not positive) that it’s all downhill from here. I have news for her. That’s 55 when the slide starts. Tom says she has things for her fingers and ears, but he’s giving her something for her eyes. A Chagall. Eh. It’s okay. She asks if it’s hers or theirs since Chagall is one of his favorites. To be on the safe side, he gives her something else. He gives her an envelope. She asks if it’s a legal doc, but inside there’s a picture of a Cartier panther ring that he has on order.

Harrison! With LisaV, but where’s my Giggy? Giggy! Ken has him. Harrison is a rescue that Lisa is having a passionate affair with. New Housewife Dorit and her husband PK join them at PUMP, along with Kyle and Mauricio. Dorit’s husband is a talent manager who manages Boy George. Dorit says he’s been living with them for a while and is like her gay husband. She tells the group about how she met her husband.

Kyle brings up Erika’s birthday party. Lisa talks about how she and Dorit first met. They talk about Dubai. Ken says he felt like he was there from all the weepy phone calls he got from Lisa. In her interview, Lisa talks about how miserable she was during the trip, being grilled by LisaR. She says that LisaR was unusually aggressive, and Eileen backed her up. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV hangs on to things a long time, but doesn’t think she’s losing any sleep over it.

Harry brings LisaR a new car. It has one of those bows on it. She says this year is about having a good time. Last year was kind of negative. Her father passed away recently and it changed her outlook on everything. She says that she doesn’t have time to worry about old stuff and wants to concentrate on raising her daughters. She doesn’t have time for bullsh*t anymore. I’ll bet she lasts a whole five minutes.

Eileen meets Erika at a bar. Eileen says that Erika might have a flashy persona, but she’s a girl’s girl. Eileen lost her mother just prior to the reunion, but hasn’t really said anything about it. She tells Erika that it’s affected everything that happened last season, making it trivial. Kyle joins them. They discuss Yolanda, who says that she’s 75% better, but taking time to rest, recover, and look after herself. Kyle is working on her new TV show, and they’re deep into casting right now.

Kyle wonders if the two Lisas are going to be okay eventually. Erika says everything can be worked out if everybody wants to work it out. I guess that’s pretty much true for any conflict. Kyle says she never wants to hear bi-polar, manipulative, Munchhausen, own it, or sniper again. I agree, especially Munchhausen.

Dorit is getting her makeup done, while PK’s assistant discusses their schedule. Dorit wants to make sure there’s time for the kids. Boy George comes in. She says in their house he’s more like Uncle George, but diva does come out occasionally. They’re getting ready to do Jimmy Kimmel‘s show.

Erika is having a Studio 54 party for her birthday. Disco balls are everywhere, and there’s going to be a velvet rope with Pussy Control manning the door. We flash back to LisaV’s Poison Arrow video. Lisa says the end of the 80’s marked the end of her single life. In her interview, LisaR talks about Iman being at Studio 54, and everyone goes down 80’s Memory Lane.

LisaV and Kyle meet for a kiki at Dorit’s house. Giggy! Kyle talks about hanging out with Andy Warhol and Rick James as a kid, because her mother didn’t follow the rules.

I want to have a fabulous 80’s party just like this one, but I don’t think Tom will fund the bill for me. Erika gets crazy over everyone’s outfits. She opens her gift from Eileen. It’s a part on Eileen’s show, The Young and the Restless. Coolest. Present. Ever. Erika is worried that they’ll fire Eileen if she sucks. They talk about the soaps.

LisaV introduces Dorit. Lisa asks Tom if he’s wearing something Studio 54 under his suit. I gotta say, Tom seems like a really nice guy, and he and Erika are obviously in love. Eileen and LisaR discuss LisaV. LisaR says she’d rather be better than bitter. Yeah, we’ll see. Dorit says she considers herself a New Yorker, but she’s lived all over the place. In her interview, she says Beverly Hills is a little too much carrot juice and Botox. Agreed. She invites Erika to her upcoming birthday party.

The two Lisas meet, and the conversation is stilted. In her interview, LisaV says that LisaR changed the dynamic of their relationship, and they’d have to do a lot of work to get it back to where it was. Eileen says anything is possible. Look what happened after the Viet Nam war, everyone goes there for vacation now.

The guests mingle and dance. Mauricio talks to Tom about the plane he just bought. Tom brings out another present for Erika – her mother. Erika introduces her mom around. In her interview, Erika talks about her mother having her at 18, and her father leaving before she was one-year-old.

Eileen thinks LisaV is giving her the cold shoulder. Dorit invites Eileen and her husband to her party. Dorit is trying to figure out how Eileen is the same woman that Lisa has talked about. Everyone is starving and glad to see the cake come out. It’s cute, layered stars. LisaV says she thinks she saw a deviled egg and should have grabbed it. Erika is thrilled with the evening.

The girls dance. LisaV says that Eileen and LisaR would be happier if she wasn’t in their friend circle, but she’s coming back, stronger than ever.

Next time, Erika hires dancers, LisaV gets a horse, and Dorit’s birthday party happens.

✈ Ladies of London honorable mention. Marissa had the smallest baby ever, but all is well. Caroline #1 seems to be at odds with everyone. I think she has too much time on her hands since Gift Library closed. She needs a job or something else to occupy her. Julie is overwhelmed with running the Mapperton estate. The place is like a small village, and I don’t envy her dealing with the gift shop employees who have worked there since the earth cooled, and are less than helpful. And Caroline #2’s father is very sick with cancer. Since she’s a huge celebrity in Denmark, the press is very interested in her, and while on a trip there with Juliet, she makes the mistake of telling them about his illness when the family is quite private. We also see her OCDness in regard to beds being made correctly.

Nov22

November 21, 2016 – A Search for Justice on GH, Too Many Butts at SUR & the OC Puts Us Out of Our Reunion Misery

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante gives Sonny’s file to Jordan. She wishes they had more evidence. Dante says it’s possible someone else could be responsible. Jordan says they discussed this, and asks if he can be impartial. He says he is, but she should stay open to other possibilities. She tells him that he’s off the case. So much for being open and actually wanting to get to the truth.

Hayden wakes up to Tracy standing near her bed. Tracy pretends she isn’t concerned, and says she’s just making sure Hayden doesn’t walk off with the silverware. Finn joins them, and Hayden tells him that she caught Tracy in the act of caring. She says she’s feeling almost 100% better and wants to go.

Dante asks Jordan if he’s impeded the case. Jordan says they can’t afford for it to be jeopardized. Michael joins them and asks if she’s going to railroad Sonny. He’s there to be supportive. Sonny is brought in, and says that it means more to him than Michael knows.

Nell asks Kiki how she’s doing. She amends it to being a stupid question. She says she saw Kiki at the funeral. Kiki says she’d give anything to change the way Morgan felt that night. He was a great guy and there was no one else like him. Nell says she could tell how special he was, and she hates that it’s tearing the family apart.

Jax tells Carly that they should stop making out, and Carly says no they shouldn’t. Jax says it isn’t right, and she says yes it is. She says he thought they were perfect for one another, and she didn’t see it at the time. He says she’s leaving Sonny out of the equation.

Jordan reminds Dante that he’s no longer on the case. Diane says that there is no case. Jordan says that Sonny confessed at the church, but Diane tells her that they were the words of a grieving father, and could be taken a hundred different ways. Sonny and company leave for court.

Kiki says she’s only hurting a fraction of what Sonny and Carly are, and when Sonny confessed, it was too much for Carly to handle. Nell says she can’t imagine how bad it must be for their solid marriage to collapse. Kiki says it’s not the first time, and Nell asks about their history.

Hayden says that she doesn’t feel sick. Finn says the antibiotics might have cured the underlying infection. He thinks it’s possible that the disease was caught early enough that it could have been eradicated. Hayden says she’s ready to leave, and Curtis pops in, saying he hopes not on his account.

Sam and Jason discuss who might have wanted to go after Julian. Besides a man who’s been dead for 20 years. Sam discovers that Oscar Jessup’s phone bill has been paid by an online account in China.

Jordan tells Sonny that she should have known his bout of conscience would be short lived. Diane has finagled house arrest for him, and Jordan says he stays cuffed until he gets home, which is just about the stupidest thing ever, and makes her seem vindictive. Jordan goes to get Sonny’s belongings. Sonny tells Dante that he believes what he said in the church. Dante says the evidence against him is pretty flimsy.

Kiki tells Nell that she thinks it’s the fifth time Sonny and Carly have been married (ha-ha! she thinks), but they always find their way back to each other. She believes if they focus on how much they loved Morgan, they can do it again. Nell asks what about Jax.

Jax reminds Carly that she’s still married to Sonny. She hurts and she wants someone to make her feel better; she wants comfort, even if it’s not from the best source. She apologizes, saying she didn’t know what she was thinking. She doesn’t want Jax to think she’s using him. He says the bottom line is that she’s grieving, and he’s fine with it. She says how embarrassing, and he says he’s here for her, just not like that.

Curtis introduces himself to Tracy. He says a mutual friend told him that Hayden was under the weather and he was in between jobs, so he stopped by. Finn suggests they let Hayden and Curtis talk. Curtis pretends he’s looking for work from Hayden, but she says she knows he cares. She says she’s fine now. Curtis says she’s as beautiful and feisty as ever, but not at her best. She says she doesn’t want Finn to feel any more guilty than he already does. Curtis wonders if she has a thing for Finn.

Tracy tells Finn she’s not buying his caring doctor act, and Finn acts ignorant. Tracy says he knows antibiotics can’t kill the underlying infection, and thinks he lied because he’s scared.

Hayden tells Curtis that she does not have a thing for Finn. He asks what’s really going on, and she says she’s really scared. Curtis says no little infection is going to get the best of her, and when he’s down with someone, he never gives up.

Finn tells Tracy that he’ll take whatever he can get as far as Hayden’s improvement goes. Tracy asks how he is, and he says fine – for now. She asks about the medication, and he tells her that he’s running low. Tracy asks what if he needs to share with Hayden, and he says he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

Curtis tells Hayden that for a homeless woman, she sure came up in the world. She says except for the life threatening illness, she has it made. He says she’ll beat it. Out in the hallway, Curtis thanks Finn, and says that he has Curtis’s number if he needs him. Tracy and Finn go back into Hayden’s room and she’s out of bed. She tells them she’s going to take a shower, so she’ll be presentable for her next accommodations.

Kiki tells Nell that Jax isn’t Sonny’s favorite person. Nell says exes can be like that, and he’s stuck with Jax because of Josslyn. She wonders if Jax and Carly will get back together. Kiki says Sonny and Carly think the same way, and are like a united force. She thinks they belong together and so did Morgan, and thinks Carly feels the same way. Nell says it was great talking to her, but she has to go to work.

Carly tells Jax that she loves her kids and would do anything for them. It’s the actions that count though, not the words. She justified being with Sonny in her head, telling herself that he was keeping them safe, and now look what happened. She says she should have walked away a long time ago. Jax tells her that you can’t choose who you love, but Carly says you can choose who you walk away from. She feels empty and wonders if the aching, gnawing pain will ever go away. Jax promises her it will, but in the meantime, he’ll be there to help, as a good friend who knows her inside and out.

The bell rings. It’s Dante. He says he just came from Sonny’s arraignment.

Diane deposits Sonny in his house. The officer uncuffs him. Sonny tells her, nice work. She says as much as she loves her retainer, she loves justice more, and believes he’s innocent.

Jason tells Sam that whoever planted the bomb was in the parking lot at the same time he was. He wonders if he saw something that isn’t registering. Sam asks about other business’s surveillance cameras. Curtis – who is just popping in out of the blue everywhere today – says, like the mini mart across the street? He says the store got everything on video and he has it on his phone.

Finn beats Tracy at Backgammon, and now she owes him a favor. He wants her to ask Hayden to stay. Tracy says Hayden can’t wait to get out. Finn tells her that all he wants is for her ask. She says she’ll run it by Monica.

Dante tells Carly that Sonny pled not guilty. He says whatever Jason told him had a big affect, and asks Carly if she knows what it was. She tells Dante to talk to Sonny, but he says Diane claimed he wasn’t talking. He tells Carly about Sonny getting bail and being placed under house arrest. Carly asks what happens now, and Dante says nothing, as long as Sonny stays put, and he’s wearing an ankle monitor.

The officer explains the conditions of the monitor to Sonny and tells him good luck. After he leaves, Sonny asks Diane if she can get him out of this mess, and Diane asks if he’s met her. She going to have the confession thrown out as the words of a grief stricken father. She’s not making light of it, but it’s a bonus, and by the time they go to trial, Jason should have uncovered more evidence. She tells him to call if he needs company. He thanks her for what she did for him. She leaves and Sonny looks grim.

Curtis tells Jason and Sam that Julian fired him. He’s in this for the truth, and if they combine forces, they can get to the bottom of it. He says they can look at the video, but a delivery van blocked the view of Julian’s car, so it’s another dead end.

Jax asks if Dante is okay with this, and Dante says things have changed. Nell comes in and Dante leaves. Nell gives Carly some work stuff and the guest book from Morgan’s funeral. She thinks Carly might appreciate the nice comments and memories of Morgan. Jax asks if Nell could book him a suite at the MetroCourt.

Sam tells Jason that she can see if the story checks out at the mini mart. Jason tells her to hang on, and takes Curtis aside. He wants to know why Curtis is so interested in helping. Curtis says he doesn’t like loose ends, and there was something strange about how Julian fired him. Jason suggests they work together.

Sonny enjoys a drink, saying he can’t get that in Pentonville. Nope, you can’t. The doorbell rings. It’s Dante who’s burning a lot of calories today, bouncing from place to place. Sonny asks if he’s there as a cop, and Dante says he’s there as his son.

Finn goes into Hayden’s room. She comes out in a towel and says she needs to get dressed. Finn gets flustered and leaves. He sees Tracy in the hallway, and she says Cook wants her to find out what Hayden’s favorite dish is. She says Monica gave her okay, so she’s also extending the invitation. Tracy enters Hayden’s room and asks if she’d like to stay. Finn answers his phone. The test results are back. He asks if Hayden is positive for the disease.

Hayden asks Tracy if this is a joke, but Tracy says she can stay as long as she likes. Hayden says no, but Tracy asks why she’s making it difficult. Hayden asks why she’d want to stay where she isn’t wanted. Tracy tells her that if she doesn’t, Finn will be mad at the both of them.

Finn gets the results and doesn’t look happy.

Curtis and Jason look at the tape and wonder if the car is blocked on purpose.

Sonny says Dante doesn’t have to worry about him. Dante says he knows it must be strange, and Sonny says it is what it is. Dante says he stopped by Carly’s place and Jax was there. He told her that Sonny was home, but all she said was thanks for letting her know.

To his surprise, Carly tells Nell that Jax will be staying at her place. Nell goes into the office, and Carly promises not to make any more moves on Jax.

At the bar, Michael asks Kiki if Nell is around, and Kiki says he just missed her. He tells Kiki about Sonny, and says that he wants Nell to keep an eye on him, since she’s babysitting Avery anyway.

Carly asks Jax if they can act like the kiss never happened, and he says no one needs to know. Well, Nell is going to know, because she’s eavesdropping, and probably taking notes.

Tomorrow, Alexis has good news, Lucy has the pills, and Thanksgiving begins. As usual, I wonder how the Quartermaines will end up having pizza.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh my Lord, if I have to hear Lala make that remark about no one having worked on their “summer bodies” one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind.

The girls (minus Ariana and Lala) gather for a lunch with Katie. Everyone has a balloon to pop, and there are papers inside asking them to be bridesmaids. Apparently Kristen has been waiting for this moment since she introduced Katie and Schwartz. Katie talks about how she met all of them.

Katie asks Brittany how it’s going with Jax. She thinks she’s finally gotten through to him, but Stassi suggests she take his credit card and buy what she wants. In her interview, Stassi says she now looks at Jax like an ape who has a really cool girlfriend. I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description. Katie gets sentimental, and Stassi says she’s not going to take any moments for granted anymore. Stassi asks about Ariana, but Katie says Ariana isn’t into the bridesmaid thing, and she didn’t want to put her on the spot to say no. In her interview, she adds that Ariana’s defense of Lala added to the decision making process. Stassi calls it the “dream team” and I gag a little. Wow. That’s a lot of bridesmaids. I had three.

At SUR, Lala asks James if he’s fired yet. He’s there to talk to Lisa and guesses he’ll find out. In his interview, James talks about people saying things about how many strikes he has, but since they don’t have baseball in England, he doesn’t comprehend the analogy. I think even if they did have baseball in England, he still wouldn’t comprehend it. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box.

Tom and Jax set up the bar for the evening ahead. They’re going to Schwartz’s after work. Jax brings up James’s altercation at PUMP, and hopes Lisa fires him for real this time. I’d give anything to eat at SUR and run into Lisa. Then I’d beg her to adopt me.

In her interview, Lisa says she’s heard a lot, but still doesn’t know what started the fight. She asks to talk to James in private. She tells him he’s upsetting her business. James is so delusional, he thinks that people see him winning and don’t like it. He really does think he’s a bigger deal than he is. He says he’s innocent in this, but Lisa says experience has taught her not to trust him. She says it’s difficult for her to keep him employed, and she’s given him more chances than he deserves. She says lucky for him, it looks like the other guy was the perpetrator, but if she catches him doing one wrong thing, he’s out. Or it’s his third strike as we say in America. In her interview, Lisa says if one person had said he was at fault, he would have been gone.

Commercial break. I get a Trader Joe’s maple walnut blondie and think this is the very reason I will never be as thin as these people. Never.

Scheana talks to Lisa about James, saying he’s a 24-year-old child. She says he can’t keep blaming his father for his own bad choices forever. At the bar, Ariana and Katie talk about James. Ariana asks James if everything is cool with Lisa. He says yes, and they high-five. In her interview, Katie calls James the worst version of a person humanity has to offer. Ha-ha! Ariana asks Katie how the wedding plans are going. Katie explains why she didn’t ask Ariana to be a bridesmaid, but dances around actually saying it. In her interview, Ariana says it might have been easier on her if she’d just come out with it. She tells Katie she’ll be involved where Katie wants her to be, whether she’s wearing a bridesmaid’s dress or not. Ariana seems like one of the most mature of the group, so I can’t fathom why she insists on being friends with Lala and James either.

Schwartz wants to cook Jax and Tom a nice dinner to show his appreciation for their friendship. They show up semi-formally dressed, but in flip-flops, as an homage to the many times they couldn’t get into a club because Schwartz was wearing them. Schwartz tells them about the prenup conversation. Tom thinks it’s a classic example of how lawyers make money, although he’s all for it. Schwartz tells them how much he appreciates everything they’ve done for him, and asks them to be groomsmen. His two to Katie’s ten. The dinner looks great and Jax says Brittany doesn’t even make him dinner like that.

They discuss old times and sleeping on air mattresses. Schwartz talks about how they hazed him for the first year he was in LA, and how he’s been looking for a way to make things even ever since. I take note that Tom didn’t eat his broccoli. Schwartz says it’s time to start repayment and gives them envelopes. They contain pictures of Schwartz’s butt with their food in and on it. He tells them that he also ran three miles beforehand and didn’t shower. In his interview, Tom says it’s Shakespearean in nature, like cutting up someone’s son and feeding it to him. Jax says the food was good, butt cheeks or no butt cheeks, and I’m shocked at how in stride they both take it. And I wonder if Katie realizes how immature Schwartz really is. Tom totally deserves this, if only for whatever the hell way he’s wearing his hair. It’s some kind of braid on the top of his head ending in a man bun.

Katie shops for invitations with Kristen and Stassi. Katie wants to send the invites on a tea towel, which is the coolest idea ever. When the clerk goes in the back, Katie tells the girls she’s having a housewarming party. In her interview, Stassi talks about how she and Patrick are heading toward their final break-up, and how all of the celebrations are difficult for her. After crunching the numbers, the clerk tells Katie that it comes out to about $18.50 an invitation. I think I spent that in total on mine. Okay, maybe it was a little more, but still.

Lisa checks out how things are going at PUMP. She asks James if he’s staying out of trouble and keeping his nose clean. I’ll bet that meant something totally different in the 80s. Lala tells Ariana that she feels badly about Scheana, since they used to be friends. She wants to talk with Scheana, and asks if she can have a minute. Lala wonders where they hit a point where they weren’t okay with each other. She says she realizes she’s been a bully and isn’t happy with herself. Scheana says she needs to talk to Katie. She says the things Lala has been saying about Katie are not cool.

Scheana tells Katie about Lala’s apology and how she defended Katie. We flash back to Lala’s interruption at Katie’s engagement party. Katie says she’s been hearing that Lala is dating a married man who’s been bankrolling her. She says she prefers to make money the old fashioned way. She means hard work for a paycheck, but I guess she doesn’t realize the irony that prostitution is called the world’s oldest profession.

Lala says human to human, she owes this bitch an apology. While Katie is on break outside, Lala sits down. She says she’s not there to argue, but to apologize for low blows she should have never made. She says Katie wants to throw rocks at her. Katie asks if she’s referring to being labeled a whore, and says she calls it as she sees it. After claiming to be in a committed relationship, Lala says they all say things they don’t mean, and she’d accept a apology from Katie. She denies having a married boyfriend, and says her parents still pay for a lot. Lala makes a snarky remark about Katie’s car, and Katie calls her an idiot and walks back into SUR.

Schwarz gripes about spending more money on a housewarming party, and tells Katie the invitations better not be more than five bucks a piece. She clues him in, and tells him it’s standard. He says standard idiocy. In his interview, he claims he could throw a decent wedding for three grand and that barely covers the invitations. I did one for five grand (including the honeymoon), but I had a lot of creative and generous friends, as well as it being quite a while ago. Katie tells Schwartz about Lala’s pseudo apology. She says that afterward, she saw Lala with Scheana looking friendly, and thinks Scheana had better watch her back.

The friends gather for the housewarming. Everyone brings presents. In her interview, Scheana says she and Shay are in a good place and he’s curbed the drinking. Jax talks to Tom about the bachelor party. He wants to get transvestites or transgenders. From where” The Yellow Pages? Google? Craigslist? Tom suggests a guy in drag. Jax debates that it’s the same thing, and while as usual he’s an idiot, I try to figure out how that’s different from a transvestite.

In the kitchen, Brittany asks Stassi whats’ wrong. Stassi says she’s embarrassed about her flip-flopping relationship. She says every time she tries to explain it, she doesn’t know what the problem is, even though they love each other. She starts to cry and Brittany hugs her. She says Stassi can call any time and she won’t judge her. She makes it all better by giving Stassi some of her vodka and soda.

Lala visits James. Lala tells him Katie wasn’t having it and he says she didn’t really accept his apology either. Neither one of them care, but Lala wonders where Katie is getting that she’s dating a married dude. In his interview, James says he doesn’t know who Lala is dating, but he’s staying out of it. They make fun of the hosuewarming party that they weren’t invited to. James tells Lala not to let them make her feel excluded. He talks about how his career is going to skyrocket.

The party is in full swing, meaning Katie can’t tell lemons from limes at this point. Jax and Peter discuss how Scheana’s butt has shrunk. Butts seem to be the theme tonight. Katie shows Stassi and Kristen the bedroom, which is done in industrial chic eclectic, which I don’t believe for one minute is a thing. Katie tells the girls about calling Lala out on her married boyfriend. In her interview, Stassi commends Katie on actually saying something out loud. Kristen calls Lala a sociopathic skank. Wow. She’s kind of right, although Lala still has a conscience. If she keeps ignoring it though, she’ll get there.

Scheana tells Jax about Lala’s apology tour, and how Katie told her if she’s dishonest in one area, how can she trust her in another? Ariana says Lala’s life is none of their business, but Scheana says if you lie about your life, how can anyone believe you about anything?

Stassi says she can’t even give Lala a hair flip in a bitchy way. She wants to pretend Lala does’t exist that much. Scheana comes in and the other two leave. Katie tells her that the privious night sat uneasy with her after she saw Scheana at the bar with Lala. Scheana says she was just there when Lala walked up and she doesn’t want to be friends with Lala. Katie says that now Lala is comfortable talking to Scheana, she feels weird about it. Scheana promises that she’s 100% supportive of Katie and suggests she go back to her own party.

Next time, Schwarz asks Ariana to be one of his groomsmen, Katie and Scheana argue, Jax and James argue at work, and Lisa calls James a drunken a-hole. Definitely worth the price of admission.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion – Part Three

We revisit the dune buggy accident in Glammis. Andy asks Tamra about feeling responsible and she says she still feels that way. Heather says she remembered Terry telling her to go limp if she’s ever in an accident. Good to know. Kelly says it was surreal, and talks about seeing the bar on top of Tamra. Tamra says she thought there was a body on her and was afraid to open her eyes. Andy brings up Shannon not going because of health reasons and Vicki questioning it in her blog. Shannon defends herself, citing several doctors.

Next “Hospitalgate” is discussed. We flash back to Shannon and Meghan acting like idiots, and the repercussions. Heather makes a stank face about Meghan revoking her hostess charter. Meghan says she didn’t realize it was as bad as it was. Heather says she told her exactly what happened, and brings up a text that Meghan sent afterward, agreeing that it must have been horrible. Andy asks if Meghan doesn’t think being airlifted to a hospital was important. Heather says there are certain criteria; they just don’t airlift anyone. Meghan says Vicki had lied about a lot of stuff, and Heather says it wasn’t Vicki telling her. It bothered her that the immediate human reaction wasn’t, what can I do? I tend to agree. It might be different if they hadn’t been out in the middle of nowhere and Vicki was by herself. I have actually stepped in to help someone I couldn’t stand because there was no one else available at the time.

A viewer asks why Heather and Kelly didn’t go to visit Vicki. Heather says she had one of her kids with her and was driving an RV. Meghan says to make a decision for herself is one thing, but to judge her is another. Tamra says regardless of what the past was, if someone is in an accident, you visit. Vicki chastises Andy for belaboring the point, and Shannon says she’s bossy. Andy asks if Shannon has met her, and Vicki tells her to get used to it. They talk about Briana saying that Vicki was overly dramatic while recovering. Tamra says Briana claimed that Vicki was taking her neck brace off when the cameras weren’t rolling. Vicki says Briana was very ill as well, and doesn’t think she totally grasped what was going on. Oddly enough, Heather comes to Vicki’s defense. We go over Meghan calling Tamra “reckless.” Heather apologizes for being hard on Meghan about it, but says that Meghan had been alking a lot of smack about her and wishes she’d come to her. They talk about hospital visitation some more and I mentally beg Andy to move on.

Finally. We go over some klutzy Vicki moments, like when she tripped and lost her nipple cover. Next is the Ireland trip and the same flash backs we’ve seen a dozen times. Zzzzzzz… The worst is how these women keep saying they weren’t trying to get Kelly drunk when they so obviously were. We end with the screaming match bus trip. Andy starts with the nose flick thing Kelly was doing. Kelly uses the famous it was a miscommunication excuse. Meghan says she feels Kelly was baited, but the whole thing was stupid. A viewer demands that Heather explain why she was carrying a flask of Fireball when she only drinks champagne. Heather claims she was just being funny. Too bad nobody ended up laughing.

Moving on to the dinner. Andy asks what Shannon’s motivation was in trying to get Kelly to drink. Shannon makes up some idiotic excuse. Andy asks why Tamra quietly asked the waiter to make doubles, but she never answers, and Shannon makes something else up. Vicki talks about how she warned Kelly, and Shannon gets so wound up that you’d think someone put a quarter into her. Her voice gets high and squeaky, and she rattles off a few times that Vicki encouraged Kelly to drink. Kelly says the dinner was 100% a set up.

Kelly does a perfect imitation of Shannon’s squeaky voice asking her why she wasn’t drinking. Andy talks about naked wasted, and says as a connoisseur of the show, it looked similar to him. Tamra says that was a million years ago. Shannon says it was before her time, and they looked bad, but there was no ill intent. Right.

Andy goes there. He asks Shannon about Vicki’s comment that David beat her. Shannon says in 2003 she called the police over a verbal argument that he wanted to end. Vicki says she’s fine with that, but not the lying. She says she has proof. Vicki says she didn’t want to do this, and Tamra gets loud and stupid. Vicki tells her to shut up, and she says no, you. Andy tells everyone to shut up, and let Shannon speak. Shannon says she and David went out to dinner. It was when she first found out about the affair, and either she had too much to drink or someone slipped something in her drink. She doesn’t remember what happened, but David found her blocks away. Shannon says most people will believe her because she’s told the truth, but now it’s out there and someone might approach her kids about it. She calls Vicki despicable, and says she’s never talking to her again, which seems fine with Vicki. She says she’d never stay in a marriage where the guy was beating her. Andy tries to slip in something about Briana accusing Brooks of hitting Vicki, but it gets lost in the confusion. Everyone starts talking at once and Shannon needs a minute.

She goes off crying and lapdog Tamra follows. Tamra tells Shannon that Vicki isn’t a nice person. They linger in front of the door, and a few people have to squeeze past. They all have bemused looks on their faces.

Andy asks if this is the secret Vicki had. Heather says it speaks to her character that she’d tell Kelly about it. Vicki says she didn’t want to bring it out, and Heather says if that was the case, she wouldn’t have said anything. Still in the hallway, Shannon babbles and Tamra says Vicki knows what she’s doing, and is just trying to bring them down. Heather says Vicki should apologize to Tamra, and Vicki gets loud, saying Tamra said worse things about her. Heather gets all schoolmarmish. Tamra tells Shannon, let’s turn this around, and they go back in.

Andy asks if Shannon said something to Vicki and it got misconstrued. Vicki swears that Shannon called her at the time. Kelly seems to think Shannon’s story makes sense now, and Andy wonders why Vicki is sticking with what she said. Shannon shows pictures of herself in a bikini and says see? no bruises. Vicki says that a man should never touch a woman. Shannon says they’re in agreement on that one.

Andy brings up the Eddie being gay thing, and Vicki says it was a rumor that Tamra already knew about. Vicki says she doesn’t know if it’s true, but all she did was say it was out there. She says that Tamra has been trashing her for years . Tamra says, shut up, old lady, revealing her usual charming self and blowing her witness. The really stupid thing is that she’s not exactly a spring chicken. I guess her fear of growing old causes her to become ageist in an argument. She tells Vicki to stop spreading rumors. Andy asks why Heather is angry with Kelly instead of Vicki for telling Kelly. Heather agrees she had douchy moments on the bus. She says they all did, and she cops to hers.

Andy brings up the puppet-master thing that Kelly said. Heather says it’s more like Kelly is (no, you), since she tried to build hate against heather. Kelly says everyone has seen heather for who she is now and the world hates Heather and loves her. I’m speechless, and so is Heather.

Andy asks where Tamra and Vicki are relationship-wise. Tamra says now that Vicki has been spreading rumors, they’re done. Vicki says she’s sorry she repeated anything to Kelly. Meghan thinks her ego is getting involved in her apology. Andy asks if Kelly has made any progress. Kelly says she apologized and tried to move forward, but it seems like it doesn’t matter.

Final moment. If they cold have one do-over what would it be? For Heather, it’s the bus ride to the airport. She says personal narratives and booze made it explode. For Meghan, she would have listened to Heather about the accident. For Tamra, it’s pushing Kelly; for Kelly, it’s talking about Tamra’s daughter. For Shannon, it’s yelling about her mother-in-law at David, and for Vicki, it’s talking to Kelly about things at the beginning of the season, when she should have kept her mouth shut.

Andy says they’ve gotten everything off their chest, and it’s time to heal. Shannon says the damage is done. She tells Vicki that spousal abuse is a serious allegation, and Vicki says so is con woman. Andy breaks out the Guinness and champagne cocktails, and toasts to season 11, moving forward, and Meghan’s baby girl. Baby’s first reunion. Yikes.

Nov21

November 20, 2016 – The Walking Dead Stands Alone, Except for a Short Visit from Atlanta

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Because the American Music Awards eclipsed Once Upon a Time, and I’m just touching on the Atlanta Housewives for now, it’s mostly zombies tonight. The spellcheck at WordPress seems to have taken the evening off as well, so apologies for any typoooooz.

The Walking Dead

Dr. Carson is there when Maggie wakes up. She has some a condition placenta previa, resulting in a placenta separation that could have been caused by trauma. He says the baby seems fine, and we all listen to the heartbeat. The doctor tells her to take it easy for a few days, like she has to call in to work.

Maggie asks Sasha where “they” are and Sasha shows her two fresh graves. She gives Maggie a pocket watch that was Glenn’s. She says all Abe had was a cigar. Maggie leaves the watch on the makeshift headstone pile of rocks, instead of saving it for their child like a normal person would. Sasha tells Maggie she’s going to be okay, and they’re both staying until the baby is born.

Jesus has cleaned up well, so I guess they have showers at Hilltop. He brings some flowers to the graves. Gregory accosts Maggie about Negan. He wants her to leave, but she says the doctor told her to stay. Gregory seems seriously out of touch, and Jesus tries to explain who the two women are. Gregory tells him that Maggie said her group could keep them safe from the Saviors, but so far she’s only put them in danger. He says plausible deniability is their way out. Jesus says it will be dark soon and Gregory says they can stay for the night. Sasha says Maggie is pregnant and Gregory says that’s her mistake. Geez. Jesus tells them he’ll take them back in the morning.

Rick wants to go on a supply run since the Saviors are coming back soon. Carl asks if this is how it’s going to be now, and Rick says yes. Rick gives Michonne a radio and says if she changes her mind, they’re headed North. They kiss good-by.

Carl asks why Michonne didn’t go and she says she needs to figure some things out, like how they do this. Carl says Rick is wrong and she knows it. Michonne says even if she thinks he is, she doesn’t know for sure. She tells Carl to make sure to change his bandage and be nice to Olivia. She leaves. Presumably not to go with Rick.

Carl finds Enid climbing the wall. She’s walking to Hilltop. He says he’s not saving her any more. She says she’s sorry he had to see it, and he says he’s not. He walks away and she goes over the wall.

Jesus tells Sasha he’s glad she’s there. He says he’ll try to change Gregory’s mind, but he’s not a leader. Sasha says she’ll leave and scavage for Hilltop if they’ll keep Maggie. Jesus doesn’t want that, and she asks what he does want. He says he just tries to help where he can, and she tells him maybe he has to do more. He gives her Abraham’s necklace, saying that he liked Abe. He was the only person he knew who could say things that would make you smile and wince at the same time. Yeah, he was the only character with a sense of humor and they killed him off. Thanks, Walking Dead. 😕

Maggie comes in and Jesus says he’s sorry. He’s going to see what he can do. She asks why they burn their dead, and he tells her that the idea was to just keep going. He says he’ll see them in the morning.

Maggie asks now what? Sasha says they’ll stay. She wonders if Gregory is dangerous, but Maggie thinks it’s worse – he’s a coward.

Enid rides her bike toward Hilltop and almost gets attacked by a zombie, but a car runs it over. It’s Carl. A man true to his word. She asks why he’s there, and he says he was just going for a drive.

At Hilltop, everyone is asleep and loud music starts blasting from nowhere. Sasha sees the gates open and fires burning. She goes up to the roof. A bunch of zombies are walking through the gate. WTF?

Sasha calls to Jesus (no, not that Jesus), saying that Maggie needs help. Some of the guys come out. Jesus kicks ass. Sasha tries to get into the car that’s playing the music. It’s wrapped in chains, and the hatchback is sealed with a middle finger made out of metal. Gregory watches from a window. Sasha almost stabs Jesus by accident. He runs to close the gate, but here comes Maggie with a bulldozer. Why fool around? Squish, squash, kick, stab. Maggie rolls over the car, which hopefully isn’t a relative of Christine’s.

Carl and Enid walk down the road. Carl says he’s glad he saw what he did, so when he has a chance to kill Negan, he won’t hesitate. She says it’s how it is you do things for the ones you love, or loved. He says it’s not for love. He says he’s sorry he locked her in, and she says she didn’t need to see it. Enid says they don’t even know if Maggie is okay, and Carl says they’ll get there.

Jesus talks to Gregory, who tells him all this can be his if he sticks around and becomes a part of things. Wow. What incentive. Maggie and Sasha come in, and Gregory tells them they have to go. Jesus can’t believe he’s saying that after the save last night. Sasha says she’ll go; Maggie can stay and they’ll call it even. She asks how they can make this work, and Gregory says they could meet one on one (wink-wink). She tells him to go to hell. He cancels an order for preserves he was going to give them, like it matters, and I’m thinking forget coward, this dude is a nut.

A truck caravan is coming in. Gregory says Maggie and Sasha have to hide. He tells Jesus to put them in the closet. It’s the Saviors. Zzzzzz….. Sorry, but they’re such one-trick ponies.

Carl finds a backpack with roller skates in it. How fortuitous! He and Enid skate down the road. They hold hands. 16 Magazine readers go crazy.

Gregory opens the door and the Saviors walk in with Simon at the helm. This is so stupid. Gregory welcomes them to Hilltop and tells them to make themselves at home. Simon says it isn’t a social call; they need to talk. He wants to talk in the study and see some painting. Referring to Rick and company, Simon tells Gregory that the people he used to deal with have been removed from the field of play. Gregory acts ignorant.

Gregory tells Simon that the message was loud and clear. Now it’s Simon’s turn to act ignorant. They look at the painting. I looked this up and it’s Portrait of Charles V on Horseback by Anthony van Dyck. There doesn’t seem to be any meaning behind it though. Simon says the Saviors like to show management by example, and last night was them working their asses off to provide an example. He says people at Hilltop probably forget what the corpses look and smell like. He says they were going to come in for a save, but the Hilltoppers cleaned up the mess themselves – “good on ya.” He says since they picked up their skills from the Saviors, it was still their win. I had a boss like him once. Simon calls Gregory a team player, and says his people are spoiled. He refers to Rick’s group again, and says the Hilltoppers who associated with them are extremely dead, and the people who killed them work for Negan now and are real go-getters. Gregory says it’s a shame, but tell Negan that he understands the benefits in crossing the aisle, whatever that means. Simon says for now everything is as Negan wants, but thanks him for recognizing what they bring to the table. That’s why he’s still there while others aren’t. Simon asks if there’s anything else Gregory wants him to know. Uh-oh. Trick question.

Gregory comes out of his office with Simon. Jesus looks hard at them. It looks like Gregory is going to rat out Maggie and Sasha when he opens a locked closet, but the only thing inside is a case of Scotch. Simon says he hates Scotch – it tastes like ashtray and window cleaner – but Negan will love it. I hate it too, although I’d probably be more gracious in my description. No points for Gregory though, since Simon is going to say it’s from him. He takes the case, and tells his men to take half of whatever they have. And the painting. Simon asks Gregory if he can get a kneel out of him and I think he said “neon,” so I wonder wth? for a moment, and think he has neon signs as well as paintings. Simon tells Gregory it’s a solid kneel and remember it for next time. These guys are so boring. Where is Ezekiel when I need him?

Carl doesn’t think Negan is there, since he doesn’t see the truck. Enid tells him that she knows he wasn’t taking a drive, he was coming to get her. He asks her to come with him to kill Negan. She says it would be for them, not Abe, Glenn, or Maggie. She says asks how, but Carl says it wouldn’t matter. He kisses her forehead and then they start really kissing. Tween/teen Twitter accounts explode. Enid tells him he shouldn’t go, but she can’t stop him.

Jesus lets Maggie and Sasha out of a different closet. Gregory says he told Jesus the hallway closet, and Maggies says, yeah, so he could give them up. Jesus asks Gregory wants to let everyone know he works for the Saviors and lose his position. He says that Maggie and Sasha are staying, and they’ll be one big dysfunctional family. Gregory says he made progress today, and he’ll see them through it. He says the Saviors can be reasonable, and Maggie punches him. She takes the pocket watch from him. He tells her that he didn’t want it left out in the rain. Since he’s been calling her everything except what her actual name is, Maggie says he’s going to start calling her by her name now – Maggie Rhee.

Jesus talks to Maggie and Sasha about Gregory, saying that when he got there, Gregory was already in charge. He thinks it just happened, and it wasn’t because Gregory had any special skills. He apologizes for not talking to him sooner. Maggie leaves for the trailer. Sasha tells Jesus that if he wants to make it up to them, he can he find out where Negan lives. Jesus says that one of the trucks is going back soon, so sure. She asks him to keep it between them. He says that he doesn’t like not telling Maggie, and she says she doesn’t either.

Maggie sees Enid at the graves. Enid asks if Maggie is okay, and Maggie says she’s not. She says she won’t be either, and hugs Enid.

Enid says she heard Maggie killed some walkers and a car when she’s supposed to take it easy. Maggie says it wasn’t too hard she’s had practice. Sasha comes in surprised to see Enid. Sasha asks why balloons are on Abe’s grave, and Enid says there’s nothing marking it. Maggie tells Sashe that she was going to use the watch her father gave Glenn to mark his, but decided to give it to Enid instead. Enid asks if she doesn’t want to keep it to remember Glenn by, but Maggie says that they don’t need anyting to remember him by – they have themselves. Well, she also has a baby coming. Maggie says a prayer before they eat.

The Saviors load up the truck and the caravan leaves. Sasha sharpens her knife. Jesus sneaks into a truck and drinks some Scotch. As he’s pouring the remainder of the bottle out, he sees that Carl is in the truck with him. Hi, Carl! Tiger Beat readers go out of their minds.

Next time, Negan wants to bring civilization back to the world, and Rick says they have to do something. Biggest. Understatement. Ever.

What would Carl and Jesus do?

💋 Just brushing up against The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya went with Matt to his family reunion in Cincinnati. Even though she offered to pay for his first class plane ticket, Matt insisted on driving, feeling that it would be a bonding experience. An 8-hour car ride and Kenya agreed. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Porsha is looking for a baby daddy, frightening all of us. First of all, because she’s going to breed, and secondly that there might be someone out there who agrees with this cockamamie idea, and that’s who she’s going to breed with. She and Phaedra are the two phoniest phonies I’ve ever seen. If they had a full brain between them, they’d be dangerous.

It looks like Sheree might get back together with Bob, although he’s moving a bit fast for both of our tastes.

Next time, Phaedra sets up a game of drunk laser tag and Mama Joyce goes nuts. Both of those events should make it worth watching.

Nov15

November 14, 2016 – Sonny Unloads His Gun, Jax Spreads a Rumor & Kelly is the OC Reunion’s Target

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Oh no. The president is expected to speak in 15 minutes. Should I even bother? You know this will probably be a long one.

At the funeral, Sonny tells everyone that his son is gone and most of them blame him, but they can’t blame him more than he blames himself. Sonny says Morgan’s life wasn’t easy, and Morgan deserves to be at peace, but that can’t happen because of what he did. He knows how to make it happen though. He takes out his gun.

Nina is talking on the phone with Nathan. She says she has everything under control.

Valentin approaches Laura on her way into Windemere. He says he doesn’t have any keys and can’t find the caretaker.

Scotty joins Ava for a secret meeting. He’s annoyed that she picked a place that doesn’t serve alcohol. She says she’d expected him to carry a flask. He asks why she’s wearing black, and she says she’s thinking of going to Morgan’s funeral. Well, she’d best hurry up, since it’s pretty much over. Scotty says he knows she switched Morgan’s medication, but Sonny and Carly don’t. She says it’s only a matter of time before they do.

Sonny puts the gun down. He says violence smothered his son’s life. Morgan had a future in front of him, but he won’t have the chance to do what he wanted because of Sonny. Sonny wants to make it clear that no one except him is responsible and looks pointedly at Carly. Jordan interrupts, asking if he’s confessing. He says he has to get this out first. Jason approaches him and says this is a bad idea.

Sonny goes to Carly. He talks about her asking him to change and to stop the cycle of violence. He apologizes for breaking his promise and says now their beautiful boy lost his life. He tells Michael that what he said was right – Morgan always fogave. He tells Michael not to beat himself up. He’s the one who should have protected Morgan. He says he’d do anything to trade places with Morgan., so he could be sitting next to his mom in church. He says the only thing he can do is to take responsibility for his actions. He’ll be sorry the rest of his life, and do everything to atone for it.

He takes the bullets out of the gun. He holds out his hands and tells Dante to do what needs to be done.

Laura tells Valentin she’ll be gone before the day is out. He says he extended an olive branch, and she says he knows what he can do with it. Ha-ha! Feisty Laura. He tells her if she changes her mind she’s welcome to stay.

Nina says she loves her brother but he’s a worrier. We see she’s talking to Charlotte, who’s sitting on the floor in Nina’s office. Nina tells Charlot while Nathan is making plans, they’ll play. Charlotte wants to play paper dolls, and Nina says she can definitely make that happen.

Ava tells Scotty about what Lucy said. She’s concerned that if she makes a wrong move, Lucy will go running to Sonny. She says if Lucy brings the pills to Sonny and Carly, they’ll know she switched them. Scotty says he’d lay low. Ava says there’s no statute of limitations with Sonny, and if he finds out, she’s dead. She tells Scotty he knows what needs to be done. He says she needs a dye job and the first freighter to Cuba. She tells him that they have to get the pills.

Jordan says she’s not going to arrest Sonny here, but wants him to come in for questioning. Sonny, Jordan and Dante leave. Michael asks Carly if she’s okay. She says she’s fine and Sonny made his choice. What’s done is done.

Valentin says he can’t wait for Charlotte to move in with him. To get any new audience members and viewers with short term memory loss up to speed, Laura responds, “the house you stole from my son whom you killed.” Doc is at the door, and Valentin says welcome to my home. Doc wants to know how it’s his home. He says he’ll let Laura explain. It belongs to the Cassadines, but she’ll always have a place there.

Carly talks to Nell about the reception and tells her to cancel the room. She says she wanted justice for Morgan, but she’s not sure this is what she had in mind. Speaking of the funeral, was no one going to the cemetery? Or were they just going to keep the casket in the house? There was never any mention of burying it and several people left early.

Dante tells Sonny that he needs an attorney, but Sonny just wants it over with. Sonny goes into the interrogation room, and Jordan takes Dante aside.

Jason hands a cop some money and goes into the interrogation room by the other door. He tells Sonny that he’s making a mistake.

Well, ABC is going to cover the president. I may as well go back to looking at pics of that underwater restaurant in the Maldives that I will never be able to afford to go to.

Doc asks Laura how Valentin made a claim to the estate. Laura says it’s a long, sad, misogynistic story. She asks if he wants to help her pack. He says, let’s just get out of here. He tells her they can brainstorm on what she’s going to do next. She says she’s moving in with Dante and Lulu. Doc tells her that she’s welcome to stay with him.

Nina and Charlotte are getting along great. Charlotte makes a purple paper doll and Nina says purple is her favorite color. Valentin shows up with purple tulips. What a coincidence. He says he gets to sit with not just one, but two beautiful ladies.

Ava says Scotty knows Lucy’s sweet spots, and can distract her and get the pills. He asks what’s in it for him.

Kiki tells Dillon that she needs time to herself to sit with her feels and memories, and say good by to Morgan in her own way. She tells him she’ll see him later. She leaves. Nell does damage control on the phone. Bobbie asks Michael what he thinks of Nell. He thinks she’s great and she’s been supportive of Carly. Bobbie is like, hmmph!

Carly tells Jax she can’t believe Sonny confessed. Jax says Sonny doesn’t like violence, but has no problem using it, and doesn’t consider collateral damage. He says Sonny is smart, but he doesn’t think Sonny got it until today. Carly says what about Morgan’s brothers and sisters, and what about Avery? Ava will get full custody. Jax says it will hurt some people, but Sonny did the right thing. Today he took the first step in protecting his family

Jordan gives Dante the option to sit this out. Jason tells Sonny that Diane is on the way. Sonny says he’s making a full confession and will gladly go to prison. Jason says under no circumstances is he to confess to anything.

Yep, here it comes. The State of the Union. Sigh….

At least it’s only Monday.

Vanderpump Rules

The gang gathers in Lisa’s office. It’s World Dog Day and Lisa brings along Nappy, a little one-eyed terrier. Jax asks if there’s going to be alcohol. Lisa discovers that Kristen has gotten an invite. Brittany is ready to punch Jax for spreading rumors about her and Kristen. She tells Scheana that she doesn’t even want to be around him right now. Scheana thought that maybe since he’d been with Brittany, he was being more respectful, but she takes that back now. Scheana invites Brittany to stay at her apartment. Where’s Shay these days anyway?

Tom and Schwartz go for some much needed relaxing time at the spa. Yes, I’m being sarcastic. Do these people even work?

Katie visits Stassi. Stassi says it’s her first apartment where she isn’t living with someone or her father is paying for it. They talk about World Dog Day, which is going to be at the local dog park. Stassi says she tried working for Lisa once and it lasted four hours. We flash back, and she says it’s number four on the list of things she’s scared of. Katie is hoping that it doesn’t turn into the Hunger Games of bridesmaids when she has to choose.

Tom and Schwartz talk about the wedding plans. As Schwartz is talking about cutting corners. He doesn’t want a cake. I hope Katie plans a cake anyway. Seriously. WTF? Tom asks if he’s sure he wants to do this and thinks maybe Schwartz and Katie should get some pre-wedding therapy.

James takes Scheana aside at SUR. He says obviously the night didn’t go well, referring to the OK! Magazine party. He claims Scheana came at him, but she says he approached them and started insulting them about not working on their summer bodies. He apologizes and she suggests he apologize to Katie as well. Although she accepts his apology, in her interview, Scheana says she doesn’t buy it, and sure enough, in his interview, James says it’s bullsh*t.

Lala is having lunch with her mom, Lisa. Not that Lisa. She says she wishes she didn’t have to lean on her mom so much, and Lisa tells her that’s what moms are for. Lala says she thinks she’s turning into a vicious person and Lisa says that’s not her. Yes. It is. Lala says she doesn’t feel good about it after she’s mean, and her mom says it probably brings her back to being bullied herself. Lala says she knows there’s a family history of drinking problems (and problems with naming their children ridiculous things like Lala). She says she keeps it to a two drink minimum. Really? They must be pretty strong drinks. Or twenty ounce drinks. Lala rags on her co-workers, and Lisa says she has a tender heart, but a tough exterior, which makes perfect sense. Not.

Carter and Kristen are having dinner at their apartment. Kristen wants to invite some people over after the World Dog thing. Kristen is annoyed about the rumor that Jax is spreading. She says she and Brittany had a few wasted kisses, but she really doesn’t remember anything. 100% though, she didn’t do that.

The rumor about Kristen and Brittany is flying around everywhere. Even the cooks at SUR are discussing it. It’s like that part in Bye, Bye Birdie when everyone gets on the phone to talk about Hugo and Kim going steady. Scheana tells Lisa that it’s not right that Brittany is only there a couple of weeks and now everyone is giving her the side-eye. Lisa agrees that it’s really not fair. Brittany approaches Jax. She’s angry that he started this, and he tells her to get over it. She says it’s upsetting and he says he didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. In the interview, she says she knows he likes to make up things, but to do it to her is the worst. Jax says she’s making it more than it is, and she tells him she’s done, but I’m not sure with what.

Lisa asks Brittany if she’s okay. She says she knows what happened, and Brittany says she feels like he’s tarnishing her name. She tells Lisa what he said isn’t what happened. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t regret hiring Brittany, but she sometimes regrets not firing Jax. Brittany starts to cry, and Lisa tells her to stay strong. Chin up and all that.

In the morning, Scheana asks Brittany if she’s going to kick Jax’s ass. Hey, there’s Shay! Brittany goes home and loves on the dog. Jax is still in bed and tells her he’s sleeping. He says she’s the one who’s keeping the story going, and she says it’s about her. She tells him that he exaggerated hugely, and she doesn’t understand why he’d talk about her this way. He gets loud and says everyone is wrong. She asks why he said it, and he says because it happened. She says it didn’t happen, and if he’s sorry, he needs to act like it. Ditch that guy already, Brittany. You have a job. Two jobs. You don’t need him as a third.

Katie explains how she’s going to do a bridesmaids reveal to Schwartz. She tells him about how much the photographer costs, and he thinks maybe she should keep him in the dark. In her interview, she says she usually likes that he’s a cheapskate, but not this time. Their venue is called the 20 Miles House. She says it’s going to be everything and more. I tend to agree. It’s a huge old house out in the middle of a beautiful nowhere. The whole thing will be about 18K and they require a 5K deposit. August 17 is the date – it’s a Wednesday and cheaper. When that deed is done, Schwartz tells her that they should probably get a prenup. He says it’s like health insurance, you hope you won’t need it, but it’s a precautionary measure. Katie says unless he’s sitting on a trust fund she doesn’t know about, all he has are massive amounts of sweat pants and action figures. She agrees and he gets turned on by her sensibility.

James meditates on the balcony of his apartment. There’s a knock at the door and he skates over. It’s Lala. He shows her around his new place. He has a roommate, who’s renting him some space in his penthouse. He’s released both Pump Sessions and the single he did with Lala, and also released a video. He says if he stays focused, his dreams can take off. Lala tells him to stay on track and not let people throw him off.

World Dog Day is here! Katie has donation buckets and raffle tickets for the group to take around. Brittany says it’s going to be hard to get through the day with Jax. She feels like whenever she talks to someone, they’re thinking about what he told everyone. Lisa arrives and marvels at all the fabulous dogs. One of the managers tells Lisa about James being stupid at PUMP, and how some guy put him in a headlock. James is telling Tom his version of what happened, and says people attack him because they’re jealous. Okay. In her interview, Lisa says if James is at fault, she’s going to let him go. In his interview, James says he’s young and good-looking and people are jealous of him. I believe it if you believe it. He’s half right anyway. I’m not into crossed eyes and a scrawny frame.

James tries to apologize to Katie. She says he acts like an a-hole, apologizes, and then laughs about the person falling for it. He says they have their differences, but he’s trying to say sorry. She says she’s never done anything to him, and he’s a horrible person, adding that he should just mind his own business from now on and she’ll mind hers. He is truly a nasty piece of work. And Katie is far from fat.

The donations pour in. The dogs do an obstacle course. Kyle Richards comes by. Kristen brings Carter. Stassi wonders if there’s alcohol. Lisa says she loves dogs and everyone knows how she feels about bitches, referring to Stassi and Kristen. Lisa confronts James about the incident at PUMP, and James tries to defend himself, acting like everyone is just out to get him and he’s not really an idiot. Doggy yoga starts at two.

Stassi goes over to talk to Lisa, saying she’s going to disarm her with her pups. She has two tiny dogs that are very cute, and one is wearing a tiny hat. Kristen is with her, and Lisa alludes to the rumor, enjoying that she’s making Kristen uncomfortable.

Jax talks to Schwartz about the wedding. Schwartz says he’s excited, and Jax thinks he’s just saying that. Jax talks about the week long argument he’s been having with Britney. She thinks it’s more than just a silly rumor and because he’s betrayed her trust so much, it’s turned into something else.

Lisa makes a speech. She talks about the Yulan Dog Festival, and tells everyone to say no to the dog meat trade and celebrate their furry friends. She feels the event has been a success. Everyone who was invited has shown up and then some.

Kristen says Brittany is the best thing that’s ever happened to Jax, and he’s ruining it. She tells Jax that he has an awesome girlfriend and he’s messing it up. He acts like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She says a drunk kiss isn’t having sex. He says it’s his relationship and his problem. Kristen says he’s pulling a Jax, and to just stop screwing people over that care about him. In his interview, Jax says Kristen wins, but they’ll always know what really happened. Kristen tells him not to hurt Brittany.

Next time, Katie picks her bridesmaids, Schwarz has a dinner and embarrasses Tom, and James gets fired…maybe.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion Part Two

We’re so bored with this stuff, they show us some behind-the-scenes scenes. Andy shows clips of the moments when the OC ladies got down and dirty in more ways than one. We flash back to some of the funny stuff, like milking the cows and explaining wet dreams to their children. A viewer asks if Vicki got her nipples fixed yet, but she isn’t saying.

Andy talks about new beginnings for Shannon. We flash back to the vow renewal and the move. This is counteracted by scenes from the party where David’s mother talked trash about Shannon. A viewer asks if the vow renewal changed things for her. Shannon says David’s emotion was heart warming. Shannon disagrees with any comparison to Vicki and Don. Vicki says Don thought their vow renewal was good for TV, while she thought differently. Shannon starts getting loud, and Vicki says in retrospect, she wouldn’t have put it on the show.

Andy asks if Shannon and David made a sex tape on their second honeymoon, and I tell him thanks a lot for that visual. He then goes around the room with the question. He asks Shannon if she thinks what her MIL did at the party was premeditated. She says yes, and hasn’t spoken to her since. Andy pretends that Grandma Donna is coming out, but everyone is used to his fake-outs now.

A viewer says that it was classic Tamra sh*t stirring for her to tell Shannon what Donna was saying. Tamra says she didn’t know Shannon was going to react that way. Heather speaks for her, saying Tamra wouldn’t have done it if she’d known how Shannon was going to react. Andy questions Vicki about how she said she felt sorry for David, and Vicki says you never forget about an affair, and always question what you lacked because it happened. Tamra says she would never be able to get over it. Well, look out, because Eddie is pretty good-looking and you can be a real shrew.

Shannon says she’s not the reason David had an affair, he is. She says they weren’t happy at the time, but there were other things going on in his life. Andy asks about the other woman and Shannon says she renewed her football tickets in front of them (they sit ten rows apart), but other than the one altercation in the beginning, there’s been no contact. Andy asks how things re going now, and Shannon says great; their marriage is solid.

Andy brings up how often Shannon says “are you kidding me?” Each woman’s over-used phrase or word is presented: for Heather, it’s by the way; Kelly, of course; Tamra, God/Jesus; Vicki, whoop it up; and Meghan, sperm. We see clips of them all saying these things a thousand times.

We move on to Heather calling Terry out on being an absentee father. We see clips of their vacation, Terry working too much, Heather discussing it with him, and ending with Terry saying he’s going to be a better dad. A viewer asks how much the new house cost. Heather says numbers aren’t relevant. When she won’t tell them, Andy asks Kelly, who says twenty million plus. A viewer asks if Heather’s life is so perfect that she really doesn’t have problems. She says right now it’s good, but it’s ridiculous to think there are never any problems.

Briana joins us straight from the night shift at the hospital. She and Vicki talk about how great their relationship is now that Brooks is gone. Briana says it’s good to be back in the OC. We flash back to Vicki getting her the hell out of Oklahoma, followed by clips of Vicki leading the single life for two minutes, and then meeting Steve. They’ve been dating for seven months now. She says her love tank is over-filled, and Briana thinks he’s amazing. He’s never seen the show, and Vicki says one of the qualities she wanted in a man was that he didn’t know her from TV. For whatever reason, when Steve sent Vicki flowers, Heather thought Vikci had sent the flowers to herself, writing about it in her blog. Vicki tells Heather that she took some of the pleasure out of it and Heather rolls her eyes, because when she does something nasty, it’s okay. Andy asks Tamra what she thinks of him, like this matters. A viewer asks why Vicki needs a man to be happy. She claims she doesn’t and is cool being alone, but Briana is like, no, and the rest of us agree.

We move on to Briana’s medical issues. She says while she was getting tests, she found out she had Lupus. A viewer asks if Vicki bribed Briana with the house. Briana jokes that it was a good bribe, but no. She says that just because her mother helps her, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t work hard, and people don’t realize that. Shannon gets called on the carpet for saying that Vicki bribed her, and she apologizes, because it’s sincere when it comes from her.

Since we can’t get away from it, they talk about Brooks some more. Apparently, there’s been some problems regarding integrity and the cancer charity Vicki was involved with, and the website has been taken down. Everyone puts in their two cents, and it actually doesn’t sound like Vicki did anything wrong, and there was some kind of opt-in if you wanted emails about insurance. They were also giving out some kind of bracelets and I laugh when Heather demands to know if people can get a bracelet without putting in their information. No, Heather, they just guess at what address they should send the bracelet. When Vicki points this out, more nicely than I just did, Heather isn’t sure how to react because she’s so obviously acting like a moron.

Before an argument can start, Andy thanks Briana for coming. Tamra follows her out. Tamra tries to talk to Briana about Kelly, saying Vicki traded Brooks for Kelly. Briana says Vicki needs someone in her corner. For the love of Jesus that you claim to follow, Tamra, leave this sick woman who just got off a double-shift alone. On stage, Kelly and Vicki sweat not to abandon one another.

We see some of Kelly’s malapropisms. We move on to her shock and offense tour, and see clips of her being incredibly nasty. We see the mess in Ireland with Tamra, and I wonder what I’d do if someone insulted how I mother my dogs. Probably not what Tamra did. Heather says that Kelly’s M.O. is behave badly, apologize, and say I’m not really like that. Kelly says there’s no shame in her game. Really. She says that. She needs to read more. She says at the time, she felt sorry, but not anymore. A viewer asks if Kelly has a drinking problem because all of the altercations involve alcohol. Kelly claims she doesn’t have a drinking problem. She says she went to court mandated AA classes after she hit her ex-husband to stop him from fighting. I literally LOL.

Kelly brings up Heather saying she’s not filming unless they get rid of Kelly. We flash back to the sushi dinner. Heather says she was horrified, but Kelly tells her that she’s not the boss. Kelly thinks they should call her “bossy pants” instead of “fancy pants.” Heather says the last time she’d seen her BIL alive was at that restaurant, so she had bad memories of it to begin with. She doesn’t elaborate on this, so I wonder, did they have an argument? Did he choke on a fish bone? What happened?  She says the place literally has paper thin walls, and it was her visceral reaction. We see a clip of her saying that she doesn’t care if they fire her, she’s taking off her mic and she’s done. Kelly points out the others who throw around the f-bomb. She does have a point. It’s funny though, how we all react badly to that one word.

Andy asks Kelly if she stands behind her behavior. She says they were in a private room and doesn’t seem to grasp how thin the walls were. Andy asks why she apologized at the time. She says how she was treated later changed her viewpoint about them. Kelly is asked if her daughter sees the show, but she says no. Andy asks Meghan what she thinks. She’s been pretty quiet for the most part, probably contemplating childbirth. She says that Kelly gets defensive, and when she gets defensive she plays dirty. Kelly says she didn’t know there were rules, which makes me laugh, but the rules are called common courtesy and she does get nasty when she drinks. Heather talks over Meghan and Kelly, telling Kelly about her pattern again. Kelly tells Heather that her pattern is interrupting her and interloping.

The Ireland insult to Tamra is brought up. Heather says that when she criticized Kelly’s parenting on the bus, Kelly got upset. Kelly says Heather didn’t apologize. Heather says she is now. Heather says the difference between them is she learns from her mistakes, and it won’t happen again. Kelly says she apologizes for saying what she did about Tamra’s daughter. A viewer brings up how many times Tamra has said similar things to other cast members and we see flashbacks. Tamra says none of those things were okay for her to have said, and she was hurt by Kelly’s remark. They go over Tamra pushing Kelly in the store since we didn’t see it. Everyone talks at once and Andy tells them to stop it.

A viewer says Kelly has an anger issue, but doesn’t Tamra have one too? Tamra says she’s a bad drunk. Kelly says apologies are flying. Vicki thinks everyone should just move on. Kelly says if she hadn’t had anger management lready, she would have thumped Tamra. I might pay to see that. She says she didn’t and restrained herself.

Andy asks if Vicki is the Buddha of the OC. Shannon says not in her part of town. Andy asks about Kelly being mean and far shaming on social media. Shannon brings up a picture Kelly posted along with the words “keep eating.”

Next time – The Reunion, Part Three – Tamra and Vicki tangle, Tamra calls Vicki and “old woman” (don’t worry, Tamra, you’ll get there), Vicki claims to have proof that David beat Shannon, Shannon walks off stage, and Heather tells Vicki that she should beg Shannon for forgiveness which doesn’t go over too well.

💋 A note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Mama Joyce and I have the same ombre sweater. In different colors, but it’s the same. I don’t know how to feel about this.

Nov14

November 13, 2016 – The World Behind the Mirror is Revealed, the NJ Reunion Drags On & Negan Shakes Down Alexandria

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Snow talks to David while he sleeps. She says maybe this is their normal now. Regina blames herself. She says she’s the only one who can hurt the queen, but Emma doesn’t want her to engage. Emma says her own sentence is already death, and Henry needs one of them to be there.

Snow is about to kiss David, and makes a face like she smells something weird. She looks at the mirror and then throws something at it. The Evil Queen is watching them.

A split screen shows us how Snow and David are living now. They leave notes for each other and videos on the phone. He leaves her flowers all the time. I’m thinking this is a great way to avoid any marital conflict, and wondering how I can arrange this for myself.

Emma visits Regina and asks if she has anything. She says she got an idea when Snow broke the mirror. They might not be able to hurt the queen, but they can imprison her in the world behind the mirror. Henry volunteers to be bait.

Henry meets the Evil Queen on the beach. She tells him that she knows he’s upset about his parents, but someday he’ll understand that you have to make hard choices. She talks about when they used to come there and feed the seagulls. She says he was afraid of them, and he tells her that he’s not afraid of anything now, especially her. He disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. Regina and Emma show up with a mirror, but the Evil Queen tells them that it’s the wrong one because she switched them. She flips the tables (or mirror, as it were) on them, and they end up in the world behind the mirror. The Evil Queen says she hopes they enjoy where they’re going, because it’s where they’re spending the rest of their lives.

Emma wakes up and sees Storybrooke in a mirror. She’s in a room with mirrors everywhere, and calls out for Regina. The camera pans out and it’s a stone room within a forest of mirrors. Emma sees Granny in one of them, and tries to get her attention. Regina appears and tells her they’re all one-way mirrors. They have no way to communicate. She says it was the perfect prison for the Evil Queen since she has no friends anyway. Emma says people might not be able to break out, but maybe someone can break in. They think Henry is their answer.

The Evil Queen as Regina tells Henry that it worked and she’s finally free. Hook asks about Emma, and the queen tells him that Emma is driving to NYC to find the Dragon. She directs Hook to a fake voicemail. Snow says they finally got rid of the monster, but the queen says maybe not so much of a monster. She says they have someone else to worry about – Henry has to get ready for a dance. She says she’ll make sure everything works out for him.

Belle tells Zelena that Gold has closed his shop. She says he’s after her baby and she needs Zelena to help stop him; they’re both mothers and know what it’s like to care about someone who lets them down. Belle says she’s seen Zelena make portals before. Zelena says Gold has the wand she needs under lock and key, but Belle says she knows who can get it.

They meet with Jasmine and Aladdin, who claims to be the best thief anywhere. Jasmine doesn’t want him to get involved, but Zelena says it’s their fault that Gold is in possession of the shears in the first place. Belle says if Aladdin is any kind of a hero, he’ll help her escape the beast.

The Evil Queen visits Gold. She tries to come on to him, but he’s like, not today, he’s working. She says she needs the Hammer of Festus, which makes me think of Festivus for the rest of us. He says the hammer’s magic is only useful to someone who doesn’t have any. She says she wants it for Henry. Gold says villains don’t get happy endings, but the queen says she’s looking for a beginning. He asks what she has to offer him in return. She says now they’re on the same team, aren’t they? He tells her to remember her mother’s lesson – love is weakness. She says it can be, but it can also be a weapon, and she’s going to use it on her son.

Hook keeps leaving messages for Emma. He says he knows phones work in NYC and something doesn’t feel right. He sees the glass from the mirror on the beach. The Evil Queen appears and he asks what she’s done with Emma and Regina, but she says she’s not answering his question and blows him back with some magic.

Emma and Regina are getting nowhere, and Regina says they have to zero in on something. Emma suggests Granny’s, where Henry is meeting Violet before the dance. They see Henry adjust his tie, and they bang on the mirror. The Evil Queen as Regina calls to him. Emma says he has no idea they’re even gone. Henry tells the queen that he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Violet. The queen says Violet is a nice girl, but still a commoner and she’s lucky to have him. She says they might go back to her castle one day, and he’ll be king. Henry says he thinks he should finish high school first, but she says it’s not always about actually sitting on a throne, it’s about how you carry yourself. She tells him girls notice these things and to go off and be kingly. He leaves and the Evil Queen looks into the mirror and smiles.

Henry meets Violet. She asks if the homecoming dance is like a ball. He tells her something more important is happening, and to keep looking at him. He says that the woman behind him isn’t Regina, it’s the Evil Queen. He tells Violet to think of a reason to leave. She says she isn’t crazy about her dress, and wants to show him another one in the shop window. He tells her she’s a great liar. She says thanks, and they leave.

Emma and Regina are upset about Henry. Suddenly, Emma thinks someone else is with them. Regina says she doesn’t think so, but the Dragon comes out. He was imprisoned by the Evil Queen. He says everything is off balance, the dark and the light, a lesson sometimes learned at great cost. Emma says they’re worried abbot their son, and he says he once lost a daughter and paid the price.

Aladdin sneaks around Gold’s shop. Gold is doing some spinning (on a spinning wheel, not a bike). He hears something, but it’s just a windup toy. Aladdin finds the wand.

The Dragon takes Emma and Regina to another room in the mirror forest. Emma says she was looking for him. He says unfortunately, breaking their curse is beyond his ability. He tells them that Sidney was working on a way out, and points to a broken mirror. He thinks together they can mend it. Regina fixes one of the cracks by touching it and starts messing with the glass pieces.

Henry talks to a mirror. He says if his moms are in there, say something. The Evil Queen overhears and says it’s not like leaving a voicemail. She tells him that a gentleman never ditches his date. He says that Violet is somewhere safe, and he realized his mom wasn’t his mom. She brings up how she once helped him be brave, and says he could be great, but not if he’s a wimp. He says she can’t Darth Vader him and he’ll never join her. She says she’s not really evil, despite the name. She’s not a hero either, but a leader, and they do what’s necessary. She brings out a heart.

The Dragon tells them Henry is safe. Emma and Regina realize it’s the Evil Queen speaking through him. She’s also in the mirror and tells them that she has the Dragon’s heart. The Dragon doubles over. He says he doesn’t want to do this, and red smokes envelops him. When the smoke clears, he’s turned into a huge dragon.

The Evil Queen says to kill them, and the dragon Dragon goes crazy, flying all around and breathing fire. The queen gives Henry the hammer and says he can save them by smashing the Dragon’s heart. Henry says the Dragon is innocent, and it won’t make him hers. She says he’ll understand more of who she is though. He says if Regina dies so does she, and she says that’s how certain she is he’ll do it.

Emma and Regina hide behind some pillars. They discuss being mothers. Emma says neither one of them are sacrificing themselves, and Regina says they’ll do this together. She comes out and distracts the dragon. Henry says if the Evil Queen is his mom, not to make him do this. She says her own mother proved that sometimes all you need is a little push. The dragon comes after Emma and Regina. They cry out for help, but Henry smashes the mirror instead of the heart.

Good choice. The dragon breathes fire on the mirror, and Emma and Regina pop through. The Evil Queen says they made Henry soft, and accuses him of hiding behind them. He says he’s not hiding, and strong families make you stronger than you would be by yourself, but she’ll never understand because she’ll always be alone.

Hook grabs the queen from behind with his hook and tells Her Majesty to shove off. The Evil Queen tells Henry that she only wants what’s best for him, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Jasmine tells Aladdin she’s proud of him. Why do they both have British accents? Is Agribah lost in the UK? She says she was so focused on finding Agribah, she almost stopped him from helping Belle. Along with stealing the wand, he lifted a genie lamp, and gives it to her. She says the genie is gone, but he says he’s free now, but whoever’s inside might be able to help them find Agribah

Belle brings the wand to Zelena. Gold pops in right behind her. He says he can’t let Belle take their child away. He puts a spell on her and says no matter where she goes, he’ll find her. She calls him a beast, but he says it’s love. She says next time, she’ll run so far and so fast, he’ll never set eyes on his child. He says Rumpelstiltskin takes children, and she says tell your first son that.

Gold falls to the floor. Zelena says his heart only beats because of her, and if he hurts her, he hurts himself. He struggles up and says they’re far from done. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. I guess a lot of the smoke budget was blown on the dragon Dragon, so they couldn’t afford another color.

Snow writes to David. She says she can’t do this anymore and she misses him. They switch places. David takes the crumpled paper from her hand and says he misses her too.

Violet goes to Granny’s. Henry apologizes for them missing the dance. She says they had their first date there, and it’s better than the dance. Henry says she’s seemed distant, but she says it’s not him; she’s having a hard time adjusting to school. She feels out of place like the kids in the John Hughes movie, and doesn’t know if shes a jock or a nerd. He says he should have started with Sixteen Candles, and tells her that she doesn’t need a label; she’s Violet. He asks her to dance

Emma tells Regina that Henry is going to be okay with or without her. Regina says the queen was wrong about him. She was so worried about how they’re going to raise him, she didn’t realize that they already had.

Gold looks at the sonogram picture. The Evil Queen tells him that children rebel; it’s their job, but it’s the parents job to make them strong. Gold asks how far she’s willing to go, and she says she’ll do anything. He suggests they might both get their happy ending and kisses her. She says they are on the same page this time, and he says for now. But there’s one more thing to take care of. He tells her that Zelena has become a bit of a problem, and he wants her dead.

Next time – in 2 weeks – Gold becomes a beast who goes too far, and Belle might lose her baby.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion Part Two

Teresa claims she had a gut feeling that Jacqueline set her up. Andy takes a break. Jacqueline says no wonder Teresa is so angry with her. In the dressing room, Chris tells Jacqueline that Teresa is crazy.

Chris and Joe #2 join the group. Andy says that was quite an accusation. Teresa says she doesn’t feel Jacqueline was responsible, but she dabbled in it. She went to “certain people” getting information, and started the ball rolling. Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what they think. Siggy says she’s been friends with Jacqueline for 2½ years, and Dolores says she doesn’t think that’s something Jacqueline would do. Chris says they have a mutual friend who called him about a possible Federal investigation, then Chris called another friend who had some ideas on how to circumvent things. He approached Joe #1 who told them to f-off, so he washed his hands of it. He asks when Teresa is going to take responsibility.

Jacqueline drags Melissa into it, saying that Melissa was giving her information. Melissa says she thought of her as a girlfriend who she told things to in confidence. She warns the others that Jacqueline will spill their secrets. Jacqueline tries to get Chris involved and Melissa points out that she doesn’t need to drag Joe #2 into her business. Chris says blah-blah-blah about how they used to be friends. He claims Jacqueline tried to get everyone to be friends when Teresa was on the outs with Melissa, but he told her one day she’d be the one on the outside.

Joe #2 thinks this is petty stuff, and that his family destroyed him. He says he was a mess for a while. and we flash back to some choice moments like the christening party. Chris talks about how he met Jacqueline, and somehow the subject of Jacqueline being a stripper pops up again, but doesn’t linger. Chris insists that Jacqueline never meant any ill will toward anybody.

Andy lightens the mood by saying sometimes he thinks he needs a Jersey translator, and shows some clips of “Jerseyisms,” which are more like Teresaisms. Like when Teresa confused an enema with edamame. Dolores confuses things further by telling her that it’s really a colonic. Teresa blames everything on having had braces on the back of her teeth. Jacqueline admits to it being an endearing quality.

Andy talks about Italian families and how it’s sometimes like being at war. He touches briefly on the rift between Teresa and her brother, but moves quickly on to Teresa coming home and how even prison didn’t bring her down. We see clips of the family, and of Joe leaving. Andy says he was surprised to hear that Teresa might have to sell the house. She says she thought it might be good to downsize, but the kids don’t want to leave, so she’s working hard to keep them there. Andy asks what she learned in prison. She talks about the wonderful women she met there, how they’re not bad people, and actually uses the word prison. She says it really wasn’t exactly a camp, and a lot of it was disgusting. She says she took responsibility, but she really just signed a paper. Andy asks if she blames Joe #1, but she says he took full responsibility, telling the court she had nothing to do with it, but since she’s a celebrity, it went the way it did. We see all the paparazzi screeching at her. Melissa says if Joe #1 could have done her time, he would have. I honestly believe that is the way it went. I think she had no clue what she was signing – why would she have read it, since she trusted her husband? And I think she was made an example of because she’s a reality star.

A viewer remarks that Teresa doesn’t seem to have remorse, and she’s like, what more do you want? They talk about Joe #1 now being inside, and how he almost has a six-pack now. Andy asks about Teresa’s insistence that Joe never cheated, and she says show her proof. They talk about Teresa’s going away party when she left the clink, and how Gia has a boyfriend now. Andy suggests she date Dolores’s Frankie, and Teresa says you never know.

Andy asks if Teresa thinks Joe will keep it together, and she says he is already. He asks about the possibility of Joe being deported. She says because it’s a legal matter, she can’t really discuss it and they’ll see what happens. He asks her why it’s something she doesn’t want to discuss, and she says there’s no need to give it life. Amen to that. Of course she doesn’t want to discuss it. Geez. That’s possibly the stupidest question Andy has ever asked anyone.

Chris is back, although I hadn’t realized he left. Andy asks why Teresa doesn’t want to deal with her cousins. Teresa says they’re toxic; they never called or wrote once, and Rosie really hadn’t been there for Joe. Jacqueline says that Teresa wouldn’t even sit on the same couch with them, and Teresa basically tells her to mind her own business. Siggy says Jacqueline just wanted to bring the family together, and Teresa says she doesn’t see it that way. Siggy says Teresa had different priorities than dealing with her cousins.

A viewer asks about Melissa and Kathy, but Melissa says they just drifted apart. Jacqueline tries to voice an opinion, but Melissa shuts it down, saying Jacqueline knows it’s true.

Next up, the nightmare in Vermont. We flash back to all that, and I want to smack Jacqueline’s stupid face all over again. Andy asks why Melissa invited Robyn and Kristina, and she says they were friends. Teresa talks about Jacqueline antagonizing Robyn, but Jacqueline says she was calling Robyn’s bluff. Chris says Jacqueline thought it was going to be a time of genuinely mending fences and was disappointed. Which I guess gave her leeway to scream at whoever she wanted to. Dolores thinks Melissa should have come to Jacqueline’s rescue, and Melissa says after Jacqueline barked at her like she was one of her kids, she didn’t answer Jacqueline fast enough. Andy asks Melissa if she had four nose jobs. Melissa barely starts to talk and Jacqueline jumps in with her two cents. Melissa says it’s her secret to tell, and wants to know why it’s Jacqueline’s business.

Jacqueline says blah-blah-blah, and claims Teresa went to jail for lying. Melissa calls Jacquleine a sh*tty friend. Teresa says she has a clown’s face, and that she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing with rabies. She calls Jacqueline disgusting, and Jacqueline acts like she doesn’t care, but Teresa says she does and that’s why she keeps coming back.

Andy asks Joe #2 why Jacqueline and Melissa had problems after Teresa came back. Joe says Jacqueline got weird, and Melissa says she acted paranoid and never believed that Teresa could change. Jacqueline questions whether or not Melissa and Teresa are really friends. Melissa says when Jacqueline lies, she turns the sound off. Chris claims that Teresa messed up their relationship with Joe #2 and Melissa. Melissa says there was a time they were friends, but Jacqueline ‘s mind messed with her and she started to question things. Then she called a magazine with stories about them, and that ended it.

We flash back on more of Jacqueline’s idiocy. Andy brings up the lunch that went south. He asks Jacqueline why she even went. Jacqueline says her intention was to talk to everyone one on one. Andy says that seems rational and logical, but that wasn’t how it came off. Jacqueline claims that Teresa and Melissa came in with an attitude. Dolores insists they were still angry about Vermont, but then stands corrected after they tell her that wasn’t the case and we see a clip.

Andy asks if Jacqueline’s approach had been different, would Teresa have accepted it. Teresa says she would have. Andy asks what about Melissa, and the lovely Jacqueline squeaks that he was going to talk to her. Melissa points out that Jacqueline was never a friend in the first place. Chris claims that Jacqueline feels too deeply for people, and when she’s hurt, she goes to extremes. Okay.

Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what it would take to heal the friendship. Dolores suggests a lobotomy and Siggy says you have to put gas in a relationship to keep it moving forward and this tank is out. We flash back to some better times. In an old interview, Chris says they have a strong bond, whether they admit it or not. Jacqueline says it’s hard, and Teresa says no matter what, she’ll always have a special place in her heart for Nicholas. Jacqueline says they’ve both said and done things that are terrible, but Teresa says she’s never done anything to intentionally hurt Jacqueline. They had great times, but something went sour. Dolores says once someone apologizes, you can’t go back and say you don’t trust them. I dunno about that.

Andy brings up Jacqueline being hit hard when Joe #1 went away. She says just because she’s angry doesn’t mean she doesn’t have compassion. She starts crying. Andy asks if Teresa felt warm toward Jacqueline when she saw that, and Teresa says she did at the time. Dolores insists that neither one of them would turn the other away if there was an acutal need.

Andy talks about them leaning on one another. He asks Jacqueline if she was surprised that everyone was so supportive about Nicholas, and they all start crying. Teresa and Melissa hold hands. Melissa says even as angry as she is, she doesn’t like to see anyone hurt. Siggy says they’re all the best moms ever. Everyone agrees. Siggy says she loves them all, but she’s never going to Vermont again. She asks if everyone would do a group hug for her. Andy wants to see one too. Jacqueline says everyone doesn’t have to be friends, and Teresa begs her not to talk to people who want to hurt her. Dolores thinks they should stop talking before it goes bad, and Andy says let’s move forward.

They all hug, including Andy.

Best quote of the reunion: If you need to remove the knives, then there should not be a lunch. —- Dolores

The Walking Dead

Michonne stares at Rick while he sleeps, but it’s not exactly a loving look. She gets out of bed and gets her sword. And kills Rick. Just kidding. She messes around in the fireplace and brings out a gun. She quietly puts it into her duffel bag and leaves. Rick sees her and who knows what he thinks.

Michonne walks across a field to an abandoned truck, and gets on top of it. She surveys the land and waits.

Rick tends to Judith. Eugene crunches numbers or whatever he does. Rosita asks him to open the gate. Spencer asks if Eugene wants to come, but he says no. Rosita says no surprise. Eugene says he’s getting a music player back together and doing his part.

The Whistling Man Negan pounds on the gate, telling the little pigs to let him in. Is he going to huff and puff? A guy opens the inner gate and asks who he is. Negan is like, are you joking? and then Rick joins them. He tells Rick don’t make him have to ask. Rick says they were told a week and he’s early. Rick opens the gate and Negan says he missed him.

Negan kills a zombie with Lucille and says “easy peasy lemon squeezie.” We already know he’s one of those funny guy villains. He’s brought Daryl along with him, and says he just took care of a dead prick that could have killed them all, instead of bashing someone’s head in. He hands Lucille to Rick and strolls into Alexandria.

Negan says things like hot diggity dog, and that Alexandria is an embarrassment of riches. He tells Rick that they’ll have plenty to offer up. Rick tries to talk to Daryl, but Negan tells him no, and the same goes for everyone. Negan is so ridiculously satisfied with himself, he’s almost not scary. He tells Rick they’ll decide what they take and his workers move out into the town. Negan says they’re going to search the houses a bit and keep the process moving. He asks if Rick is going to show him around.

Rosita starts to go back to the car. Dwight asks where she’s going, and then says he doesn’t care. He takes the weapons from the car. He tells Rosita he has a job for her. Get Daryl’s bike. She says it’s not there and he says she knows where it is. She starts to leave and he takes her cap, telling her she can go now. She and Spencer get back in the car. Dwight dumps out her water and says don’t take too long.

Michonne is still at her post on the truck. She aims her gun at a zombie. She shoots and misses. She shoots again and misses. She practically unloads the gun. Either she’s a really bad shot or the site is off. She splits the zombie’s head open with her sword. I’m sure that’s more satisfying anyway. She walks through the woods and sees a dead deer. I’d eat the whole thing right there before I’d bring it back for Negan to steal.

Some of Negan’s people bring out a ratty chair. Negan is pleased, and says they’re reasonable people once you get to know them. Daryl follows him around silently. One of the guy’s wants to show Negan something. It’s Rick in the old video that Deanna took. He looks all Jeremiah Johnson, and Negan says he wouldn’t have wanted to mess with that guy, but it’s not Rick anymore. He asks what happened to the sick girl, referring to Maggie, and asks if she was married to number two. He tells Rick to be careful with how he looks at him, and goes on about good looking widows. He says he’d love to see her. Father Gabriel asks if he wants to pay his respects, and Negan says he’s freaky as sh*t, sneaking up on him like that. Negan assumes Maggie didn’t make it. He says it didn’t need to happen, but Daryl forced his hand. He was going to ask her to come back with him.

While Negan is prattling on, there’s a shot from somewhere. It’s Carl telling the guys to put stuff back. Rick tells him to put the gun down. Carl says they’re taking all the medicine. He tells Negan that he should go before he finds out how dangerous they really are. Negan asks if Carl just threatened him. Rick says to put the gun down, but Negan tells him they’re having a conversation. Negan tells Carl he likes him and doesn’t want to go hard proving a point. He says half and half is what it is. He asks if Carl wants him to prove how serious he is…again. Carl gives Rick the gun and Rick gives it to Negan.

Negan is reminded how many guns they have. He says this emotional outburst has made it clear he can’t allow that, and they’re all his now. He asks Rick where his guns are.

Negan shakes down Olivia at the armory. She says she keeps track of everything like the rations and the guns. Negan says they have slim pickin’s as far as food goes, and they’re no good to him if they starve, so for now they can keep their food. He says is a thank you too much to ask? but Rick says nothing. Negan says he knows they started off on the wrong foot, but Rick forced his hand. He says he’s reasonable if people cooperate, and asks if Rick is cooperating. He wants to know if there are any guns waiting for their moment. Rick says the guns are all in the armory to the best of his knowledge, and Negan says he’s counting on that.

Rosita and Spencer go out to the forest. Spencer looks under a pile of branches and says it’s still there. It’s Daryl’s bike. He says he knows it sucks, but this is their life now, this is where Rick got them. He says maybe if Rick had thought it through, it would be different. People might still be with them. I’m not a huge Rick fan, but he’s being just a little harsh. Rosita trots into the woods.

Negan tells Rick he thinks their attangement is going to work just fine. He wonders if Rick has been taking care of his guns. He aims one at Daryl, who doesn’t react, but shoots out a window. Some guy brings out a bazooka. Negan says he’s going to have fun with it. A woman tells Negan they’re short two guns. Rick says they had some people leave and maybe the guns are with them. Negan asks if Olivia sucks at her job, but she says the inventory is correct. He asks if she knows where the guns are and that he’s disappointed. It shows that someone isn’t on board and he can’t have that. He says he doesn’t enjoy killing women, but it was Olivia’s responsibiltiy. He badgers her and she starts to cry.

Rick’s people gather at the church and he tells everyone he thought of hiding some of the guns, but what if the Saviors found them or they had the guns on them when they ran into one of them? It doesn’t matter how many bullets they have, it isn’t enough. He says hiding guns isn’t the answer anymore. He asks who has the two they’re looking for or who knows where they are? He says if they don’t find them, Negan will kill Olivia. A guy asks why they care and Rick asks if he has them, but he doesn’t. He says most of them weren’t there; they didn’t have to watch. If they give Negan what he wants, they live in peace. Another guy gets up and asks how they’re getting out of this. Rick says there is no way out of this. He’s not in charge anymore. Negan is. He asks again who has the guns. Eugene says not everyone is there.

Rosita slinks trough the forest following some zombies. Spencer calls for her. She hides behind a tree and takes the zombies out with a knife. I don’t know if there’s a purpose or she’s just getting out her aggression. She impales one’s head on the end of a log. Ooh. She took a gun off of him. But it’s empty. Rosita tells Spencer that Negan is going to take all their guns and asks if he’s going to tell. She says this is not their life and he walks away.

Rick watches Negan sitting with Olivia. He starts tearing the place apart. Gabriel comes in and says he feels like it’s going to work out. They’ll find the guns, get through today, and find a way to beat this. He has faith in Rick. He says things change; they weren’t always friends. He asks if Michonne has them, but Rick says she doesn’t have what they’re looking for. He thanks Gabriel for his quick thinking about Maggie.

Aaron tells Rick there’s nothing so far. They all split up to look elsewhere. Rick opens a floor grate and finds a lot of stuff, like bouncy ball, a can of beans, and whiskey. He pulls out a sack that has two guns in it. He brings them outside. Some guy is bothering Enid about keeping some balloons, making her say please a bunch of times. A-hole.

Rick gives Negan the guns. Negan says funny how a little thing like holy sh*t someone is going to die, lights a fire under everyone. He asks where Rick found them. I’d tell him it was Maggie’s house. Might as well make her the scapegoat since she’s supposed to be dead anyway.

Negan’s people start to pull out. Negan tells Rick he’s got a helluva place. Negan sees Michonne out of the corner of his eye. Rick asks for a second. Negan says no at first, and then smiles. Rick goes in, and Michonne sees him holding Lucille. Rick says he needs the rifle. He says he knows it’s in the bag and that she was out practicing. He says they have to give up their guns. If Negan finds them, someone dies, and he’s not losing anyone else. He asks if she’ll let him give the guns to Negan.

Michonne comes out with the deer like she was hunting. Rick gives Negan the gun. Negan says this is something to build a relationship on. He tells Rick that he’s special. Rick asks if Daryl can stay. Negan says, not happening, but amends that to maybe Daryl can plead his case and sway him.

Daryl says nothing. Negan says Rick tried. Now he has to get over that tall wall and earn for him. They’ll be back soon and Rick had better have something interesting for them, or Lucille will have her way. Someone will die, and no more magic guns. Michonne throws down the deer, and Negan says he loves a gal who buys him dinner and doesn’t expect him to put out.

Dwight takes Daryl’s bike and throws Rosita’s hat back to her. He asks if they found anything else, and she says just his dead friend. He rides off on Daryl’s bike. He tells Daryl to just say the word and he can have it back, but Daryl remains silent.

Negan tells Rick that nobody died. He thinks he and Rick can find their understanding. He asks if Rick wants him to go, and Rick says that would be good. He tells Rick to say the two magical words, and Rick says thank you. Negan is like, no, thank you, because he’s cuckoo.

Another zombie comes by and Negan says they need his help. He tells Rick they’re going to both come out winners and to watch his form. Rick tightens his grip on Lucille. Negan kills the zombie with a candlestick. (It was Negan in Alexandria with the candlestick.) Negan says win win, and to clean the candlestick up for next time.

Negan stats to leave, and says how careless of him, going back for his bat. He wonders why Rick would want Lucille after what she did, and thanks him for him being accommodating. He tells Rick that he just shoved his d*ck down Rick’s throat and Rick thanked him for it. Finally, they leave. Daryl looks at Rick from the back of the truck.

Rick tells Spencer that they were going to kill Olivia over two guns that were missing, and he found them in Spencer’s house. He doesn’t fault him for having the guns, but the food and liquor? He calls Spencer weak, saying they got lucky this time, and Spencer says they should have made a deal when they could. He asks if Glenn and Abe were lucky too. Rick tells him that if he says something like that again, he’ll knock Spencer’s teeth down his throat.

Rosita confronts Spencer about the guns. He says he had them for a while because he didn’t trust Rick. He says he was worried about Rick being in charge, and she said it already, that this doesn’t have to be their life. He drives away, and she takes a gun out of the wheel well of another car.

Rick fixes up a bed on the floor since the mattresses were all taken. Michonne says the rifle belonged to the Saviors and wasn’t on the list. He asks if she has more, and she says no. She says everything they have, they got from fighting for it. Rick says he made a choice and Negan has the numbers. She says what about Hilltop, but he tells her they still outnumber them. He says if they play by the rules, they’ll have some kind of life. Michonne says what kind?

Rick talks about Shane and how he took care of Carl when Rick was out of commission in the beginning. He says Shane hooked up with Rick’s wife because they thought he was dead. He says he loves Judith, but she isn’t his. He had to accept that to keep her alive. He hopes he can raise her and protect her and teach her to survive. He says he had to accept how they live now to keep everyone else alive. He tells Michonne that she has to accept this – they all do – or it wont’ work. Michonne says she’ll try.

Michonne goes back to the abandoned truck. She hears something and looks in the distance. She gets down and walks across the field. She sees a smoldering pile of gravestones and starts hyperventilating.

Rosita picks up a shell casing. She takes it to Eugene and asks him to make her a bullet.

Next time, Maggie is at Hilltop and at risk, Carl is done, and Jesus is back (no, not that Jesus).

 

Nov8

November 7, 2016 – Morgan’s Death Poses a Mystery, Vanderpump Rules Again, the OC’s Reunion Claws Come Out & an Atlanta Mention

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

We go back to Jason grilling Pete, and Pete falling to the ground after a shot is fired from somewhere. Jason calls 911. He goes through Pete’s pockets and takes his phone. Curtis appears, saying that’s one way to get rid of evidence. Jason says for all he knows, Curtis is the shooter. Curtis says he has the best alibi in the world, having just gotten his ass handed to him by Jordan. He says Jason was just talking with the only person who could implicate Sonny and now he’s dead.

Carly visits Sonny. She tells him that she found something important. She gives Sonny Morgan’s journal. She shows him how Morgan kept track of taking his medication. Sonny says something isn’t right. Morgan’s handwriting starts to become sloppy, and his thoughts are disjointed. Carly says there must have been something wrong with the medication.

Ava gets a text that someone (the caller ID says “Blocked”) knows what she did to Morgan. Lucy startles her and she says there must be another alleyway she’d like to skulk in. Ava says she’s meeting someone. Lucy says what a coincidence; she’s meeting someone too. Right now. She tells Ava that she saw her and knows what she did to Morgan.

Elizabeth has to ask Franco for a favor. She tells him that he’s inspired her, and she signed up for an art class. She shows him her sketch portfolio, and he says they’re really good. She’s very excited, and wants to make sure she stays in pace with the class. She wants Franco to pose for her.

Lulu shows Dante chocolate hand prints on the shirt that Maxie had to call in favors to get for her. She tells him if he’s going to get “his” son hopped up on sugar, at least teach him to wash his hands. Actually, if she wears that in Manhattan tomorrow, everyone will want one by next week.

Griff tells Valentin to stay away from his daughter. Valentin says it’s a misunderstanding, and Charlotte is his daughter.

Curtis tells Jordan if he’s rolling in the gutter, he’s in good company because she’s there with him. She starts to slap him, but he blocks her hand. Andre comes in and Curtis walks out.

Dante pours some wine for himself and Lulu. She says she was disappointed about not having another baby, but she’s over it. Whenever she sees Rocco, she knows how blessed they are. They have their son and each other. She can’t imagine how Sonny and Carly feel right now.

Griff says Charlotte is his daughter, and Valentin says they’ll see. Griff goes back to the table and Anna gives him the paper. Uh-oh. The look on his face isn’t happy. I had the feeling that Valentin was really Charlotte’s father a while ago.

Ava tells Lucy she’s nuts, and Lucy says that Ava is so busted. Lucy says she was in the neighborhood brokering a sale. She looked over and saw Ava and thought something didn’t add up. She wondered what Ava was throwing away. (I forgot about that!) She says that Ava looked guilty as hell while she looked for a trash can, and she just had to know. Imagine her surprise finding medication that belonged to Morgan.

Carly goes through the journal with Sonny. Sonny says it’s normal to go up and down, but not spiral. She shows him an entry about Bobbie’s birthday and another when he stopped himself from popping the guy who bothered Kiki. She says after that, something changes, and he’s obviously depressed. Sonny says he was manic, and she points out that every day he took his pills. She wonders why they weren’t working. Sonny insists he must have stopped taking them.

Jason talks to the cops, telling them he was talking to Pete when he got shot. He says he didn’t know Pete personally, but he used to work for Julian.

Jordan gives a condensed explanation of her conversation with Curtis to Andre. She says they share a lot of history. It’s scratchy at best and painful at worst, and Curtis knows how to push her buttons. Andre says he finds Curtis irritating. He was hoping to steal Jordan away for a quiet dinner. He says he’s going to attend Morgan’s funeral, and there’s a chance that Sonny, Carly, or both will unload on him. Jordan says she’d dreading it, but it’s a necessary evil. He says offering condolences while searching for evidence might seem hypocritical and Jordan says not to call her a hypocrite.

Franco asks if she’s going to share the drawing with her class. Dhe says they critique each other, and asks if he’s shy. He says in the art world, he’s a controversial figure, and the students might know they’re in a relationship if she shows them the sketch. He asks if she’s okay with that.

There’s no DNA match with Charlotte and Griff. Anna says she’s sorry. She says Claudette was obviously trying to protect Charlotte. Valentin approaches, and Charlotte runs to him. He tells her he’s happy to see her. He says he missed her, and she says she missed him too. Anna suggests she work on her drawing while they have an adult conversation. Valentin shows them Charlotte’s birth certificate. He says even though he wasn’t married to Claudette, he wanted Charlotte to have his last name.

Lulu and Dante eat Rocco’s Halloween candy. Lulu says to imagine dealing with the tantrum when Rocco realizes it’s gone. Dante gives her a piece of candy and she unwraps her old engagement ring. He says he wanted to get her another one, but he knows how she is about recycling. She says she doesn’t want another one. He asks her to marry him again.

Elizabeth says it’s okay with her if the class knows they’re in a relationship. Franco asks if she has any spray tan, but she says he can keep his clothes on. She wants to do a portrait. He asks why she was worried to ask him. She says in some ways a portrait is more intimate, and conveys the subject’s innermost thoughts. He says he trusts her even with those.

Jason and Curtis discuss the case. Curtis threatens to tell the cops about Jason taking the phone. Jason doesn’t care. Curtis says he’ll keep his mouth shut if he can look at it.

Lucy tells Ava that she found the lithium prescribed to Morgan. She says Ava took up with Morgan again, and maybe she’s the reason he was in the car. She says that Ava was tossing the evidence, and good luck convincing Carly and Sonny that she wasn’t. She asks what Ava thinks they’d say.

Carly tells Sonny that Morgan had written in a check mark for every day he took his medication. Sonny says that’s no proof. She says Morgan didn’t understand why it wasn’t working. Sonny says maybe he was covering his ass in case somebody read it, but Carly says it was private; there was no reason not to be truthful. Sonny says he’s going to check the medication and goes upstairs. Carly sees the envelope with her name on it. Sonny comes back downstairs and she asks him what’s up with the it.

Anna tells Valentin a birth certificate could be faked. Valentin pokes himself, drawing blood, and gives it to her on a napkin. This guy doesn’t fool around. He says he’s sure Charlotte will be safe with her in the meantime. he apologizes to Griff for the whole thing, and Griff gets testy. Anna says back into your corners until the test is done.

Lulu talks about how she and Dante found their way back to each other. She says even when she was steaming mad at him, she loved him. She tells him that she’ll marry him. Even though they’re already married. They kiss.

Franco poses as Elizabeth draws. He keeps talking and she keeps telling him to shut up. He gets up to look, and she says she knows it’s not good. He tells her she’s hot when she’s wrong, and that it shows vision and intent and boldness. She says she wishes she was bold in her life, and he tells her that she is.

Jordan says she’s tired of people making assumptions; she has a job to do. Andre says he was just kidding, and he hopes she finds something to close the case. She apologizes for overreacting. She says Curtis got to her, and she should know better. Andre says Curtis has an agenda every time he crosses her path, and he doesn’t like how Curtis makes her question herself. She says isn’t it true that only she can make herself feel a certain way? He says he’s not her doctor, but he thinks she’s cool and they kiss.

Ava tells Lucy not to do it, and Lucy says give her one good reason. She says Ava took off with Morgan, and this time it lead to his death.

Sonny blows off the envelope and tells Carly that the lithum is missing. Carly says that was the most important drug he was on.

Franco (who I almost called Todd) is getting antsy. Elizabeth puts her sketch pad down and moves to the couch.

Curtis looks through Pete’s phone. He wonders if any of the numbers are Sonny’s. The cops talk to Jason, and Curtis thinks about calling Jordan.

Andre tells Jordan that even a superwoman needs sustenance, and he wants to take her to a new Thai place. She leaves to get her stuff, and Curtis calls her phone.

Ava tells Lucy she can’t tell them; she’ll only hurt them more. She says they should remember the good times, and not be questioning Morgan’s behavior. She tells Lucy that Kiki is barely getting through, and it could destroy her. Lucy says she should have thought of that before. Ava asks how Lucy would like it if someone hurt her daughter this way.

Carly tells Sonny that it doesn’t make sense. Why carry a whole bottle? Sonny says if Morgan thought it wasn’t working, maybe he threw them away. Carly asks why keep one bottle and not the other?

Anna tells Griff that no matter what, the priority is protecting Charlotte. Valentin leaves.

Lulu admires her engagement ring and says it’s nice to have it back where it belongs. Dante says he was a little worried that she’d turn him down. They kiss some more.

Ditto Elizabeth and Franco.

Curtis starts to leave a message for Jordan, but Andre picks up the phone. He tells Curtis that the best thing he can do for Jordan and himself is to leave her alone.

The cop asks if Jason saw Pete get shot. He says nothing is missing, so they’re ruling out robbery, but wonders about the cell phone. Jason says it will turn up somewhere. I guess it doesn’t occur to Officer Barney Fife that a guy who worked for Julian could have been killed for his phone.

Lucy tells Ava that she won’t squeal about her tossing the meds, but she’s hanging onto the pills for safekeeping. Ava asks if she’s going to use them for blackmail, and Lucy says she hadn’t thought of that, but thanks. Lucy tells Ava that maybe she should consider coming clean, since someone else night have seen her.

Carly tells Sonny something feels off. Sonny says if Morgan thought the meds weren’t working, its the one he would have tossed. Carly says something is missing. Sonny says the medication isn’t why Morgan died. Carly puts on her coat. She says she can leave the journal, but he tells her to take it. She says Morgan loved them – it’s on every page – and wanted badly to make them proud. They should have done better, making sure he knew how much they loved him. Sonny tells her she’s a great mom and never failed. She says she did, but it’s too late because he’s gone. She leaves and Sonny is alone again.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth asks Franco to go upstairs, Diane tells Alexis that Valentin owns the estate, and Finn catches Brad in his lab. (Yay! Brad is back!)

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! Why does Kristen look like she’s going to throw up in the opening credits?

Arghhh! Tom S. has a man bun. Things are hopping at SUR. Britney is now working there and it looks like that’s working Jax’s last nerve. He feels like his world has closed in. Please.

Scheana and Lala are at odds again, but Scheana is feeling like the rest of them are all working well together. Katie thinks Britney is fitting in, and it’s a better job for her than Hooters. Well, let’s hope the tips are bigger.

Lala has a small part in a Nicholas Cage film. In her interview, she talks about starring in her own porn film, and tries to make the title a play on words, failing miserably. Katie is trying to keep Lala and James out of her life, since they tried to ruin her engagement party. Britney discovers that the girls can’t talk and text at the same time. Peter has gotten a shave and a haircut and looks totally different. I’m not sure I like it.

Kristen is dating a new dude named Carter. She’s happy, since she doesn’t have to pay his bills. Kristen thinks she should wear a fake engagement ring when she goes out, but Stassi suggests that she wants to convince people she’s not a psycho.

Lisa is happy with James’s behavior. He’s been keeping his drinking and temper under control. Since his father moved back to London recently, she’s concerned that he’s going to get emotional and start drinking again. We flash back to some of James’s finer moments in alcoholism.

Jax talks about coming home to Britney and Kristen kissing, and not on the mouth. Tom says there’s no lack of bi-curious Southern girls in West Hollywood, but wonders why those two had to get together. He calls it the LA handshake. Really? This group never ceases to amaze me with their shallowness and lack of ambition. I don’t know if it’s the time period or the coast, but when I was their age, my friends and I were much further along in life. And a billion times smarter.

Lisa tells Jax how well Britney is doing at the restaurant. He agrees, but wishes they weren’t on the same schedule. Tom tells Lisa about Kristen and Britney, and Lisa thinks it’s bizarre even in their world. Jax says something about karma, but Tom says if karma was a real thing, Jax would be dead by now.

The gang gathers at Skybar for the OK! Magazine party. Schwartz feels like there’s a vagina mafia going on where he can’t voice an honest opinion. Kristen is annoyed at Jax for broadcasting things about her and Britney. She talks about how she’s made out with all of the girls. When Britney gets there, she insists it was nothing but kissing, and tells Jax to knock it off. In her interview, Britney talks about moving all the way from Kentucky and missing family and friends, and how she can’t imagine life without this group of girls now. I feel sorry for her if this is the best friend group she can get.

Tom tells Ariana about Kristen and Britney. Ariana says you can’t go to sleep around Kristen or that’s what might happen. She and Tom get ready for the party in the ladies room at SUR.

Schwartz is happy that Jax and Stassi are getting along. Jax says they’ll never be besties, but they have a rapport, and I’m surprised he knows what that means. He tells Stassi about Britney and Kristen. I’m already tired of this story. James and Lala show up. Lala says they always roll as a pair. They finally had sex and are over it, but they’re best friends now. For now.

They try to join the others, and Katie tells them they’re not at the table. James hovers around, taking their liquor. Katie tells Lala it’s not normal to want to hang out with people you’ve been talking smack about. Jax won’t even shake James’s hand, telling them to move along to another table. Lala says no one has been working on their summer bodies and James rudely asks Katie if she’s pregnant. Scheana smacks the glass out of his hand and tells him to get the blip out.

They leave, and Jax takes off after James. This didn’t take long at all. We’re only 23 minutes into the program. Jax doesn’t care if he goes to jail; he just wants to hit James. Stassi thinks Lala and James are aliens who have shape-shifted into humans. I hadn’t thought about that; maybe she’s right. Tom and Ariana arrive, and immediately get the news about the two idiots name calling everyone. Ariana says she just saw them, and they gave no indication of being antagonistic. Schwartz says they’re acquaintances and not friends, so who cares? Katie is annoyed at him for not being supportive. Translation: not wanting to kill them.

James is drunk already, and drinks to Schwartz and Katie. In his interview, Schwartz is tired of Katie expecting him to inherit her grudges, and says she’s backslid since Stassi came back. Tom goes over to James and asks wtf? He says James’s biggest enemy is himself and everyone knows how to push his buttons. Tom says he would have smacked James’s drink out of his hand too. He tells James that he’s like a Tourettes of insults. OMG – is that a pipe cleaner shaping Tom’s man bun? James keeps trying to justify everything. Tom says his parents are divorced too, but he doesn’t use it as an excuse to be a d-bag. James says he thought that his parents were going to get back together and starts crying. For the second time – please.

Katie tells Ariana she has a friend who’s passed along the information that Lala has a sugar daddy who’s married with kids. Ariana says she’ll treat it as a rumor until she knows for sure. Ariana goes over to Lala and says she cares about her. Lala is drunk already too, and basically makes no sense. She says she’s done and starts crying, saying it’s not what she came here for and walks away. If this isn’t what she came here for, why did she start it?

Katie isn’t thrilled with Ariana being friends with Lala. Tom and Ariana leave because Tom can’t deal.

Katie visits Lisa to talk about being her assistant. Lisa wants to start with her working six hours a day. In her interview, Lisa says Katie has been an exemplary employee, and she could use some help. Katie tells her about Lala and James calling her fat, and lets slip that Lala’s boyfriend has a wife and children. She tells Lisa how disgusting James was. She says she’s made a lot of allowances because of his parents and Max, but he’s pushing boundaries.

Jax and Britney have a new place since the studio got kind of tight. They talk about James and Lala. Jax says he’s never had so much hate toward somebody. Britney isn’t happy with Jax talking about her and Kristen. In her interview, she says she and Kristen did not hook up. She tells Jax that she’d better not hear about it again. In her interview, Britney says if he can’t shut his mouth, she’s going back to Kentucky and out of the relationship. Like she can’t do better. About a million times better.

Schwartz tells Katie that even if things don’t work out, they have to stay together for the dogs and the apartment. The girls are coming over, and he wonders if he should be social or go into hermit mode. Stassi tells Katie happy first wedding conversation. She’s brought special bedazzled cups for everyone, and is going to make festive bridal cocktails that she garnered from Pinterest. Katie has pretty much nothing planned except for her dress.

They talk about the previous night and Katie says she thought it was a bad dream. Stassi and Schwartz talk about pooping their pants and how it wasn’t as bad. Did I really just hear that? Everyone is tired of hearing about how James is going through a hard time. Stassi thinks that he and Lala only use 5% of their brain power. Schwartz is concerned that Katie and Stassi being friends again is making Katie a mean girl. He calls it a hater’s ball and says he’s not one of them.

Lala tells James that what happened last night was not okay. Lala talks about Scheana and I tune out. She and James discuss the other girls. Lala says she likes to call Katie “the blob” because she’s “blobbish.” Get that girl a dictionary, stat!

Lisa wants a talk with James. She asks what happened at the party. James acts like he was the soul of tact and friendliness, but Lisa isn’t buying it. He says he’s compelled to be an a-hole because they like to see him crumble. What? Lisa thinks he lashes out when he doesn’t get approval and acceptance, and doesn’t understand there are boundaries in life. She tells him she doesn’t get why he says he doesn’t care about them, but then won’t leave them alone. She asks how she’s supposed to put him back in SUR when he keeps acting like a little a-hole. She says it’s become difficult for her to defend him and make excuses.

Next time, James apologizes to Katie, Schwartz wants a pre-nup and the Britney/Kristen story continues.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion Part One

Subtitle: Beautiful dresses on ugly people.

I’m not crazy about Meghan’s off-the-shoulder number. While Atlanta sparkles and NJ shines, this group is very monochromatic. Everyone picked a solid color and went with it. The earrings are huge and cool though.

Andy starts with Vicki. He asks if anyone is medicated, but Vicki says she only took a thyroid pill. He talks about Vicki’s apology tour and how in the end, Vicki found herself where she started. We flash back to all that. In thinking about it, I don’t believe Shannon ever really moved on from the cancer thing. In Ireland when they were getting along, they were just drunk. Andy brings up Brooks, and Vicki asks, who? She says she was at a place when she was busy and she didn’t really pay as much attention as she should have. She says he’s a bad guy and she learned a lot. Heather brings up something Vicki said, and Vicki says there was a time when she thought he was her soulmate, and it was just drunk talk in Ireland. Vicki says she’s in a different place now, and they didn’t know Brooks like she did. She admits everyone was right and she was wrong.

Shannon says she’s steadfast in her belief that Vicki knew Brooks was lying. She claims Vicki told her that she had lied, but Vicki says don’t go there. Andy asks Kelly if defending Vicki without knowing her was a mistake, but she says no.

Andy asks why Shannon won’t forgive Vicki. Shannon says she has, but it doesn’t mean they need to be friends. Vicki tells her to get off her show. Ha-ha! Shannon says she had defended Vicki in the beginning, and Vicki says she told Shannon to call ding-dong. None of us, including Shannon, have any idea what or who she’s talking about.

More on Vicki, and how she was out, then in, then out again. Andy asks Shannon if she and Vicki will ever be friends again and Shannon says never. Moving on.

We flash back to Tamra’s training and her relationship with Mia, her trainer and spiritual adviser. Tamra says her halo is crooked, but since her baptism, her life has gotten a lot better. Andy brings up son Ryan and asks if she blames herself for his problems. She says somewhat, since he’s a product of his environment. Andy asks about her daughter. She still lives with her father, and occasionally responds to a text. Tamra is getting along with Simon now, and attributes it to their son moving back in with her. She says since accepting Jesus, her outlook on life is different and she’s more forgiving. She talks about still being imperfect. Kelly isn’t impressed, and says Tamra is two-faced, nice one minute and talking about her the next. Tamra says she was nice, until she couldn’t put up with Kelly’s crap anymore. Kelly says Shannon can’t own anything, although I don’t know how she got in there. Tamra redirects the conversation back, and says she was nice to Kelly until she brought up Tamra’s daughter in Ireland. We flash back to their altercations and when Kelly called Tamra a dumb f***. Kelly excuses that by claiming it was because Tamra didn’t understand what she was saying. Because we always clarify things by calling somebody a rude name.

The talk turns to Meghan’s pregnancy. She isn’t having a C-section and hopes to give birth naturally. The rest of the women aren’t so sure that will happen. We flash back to Meghan’s best IVF moments. Meghan gets emotional watching. They talk about Jim being absent for most of it, but Meghan says he has a job, what was he supposed to do? Andy asks Heather if Terry was more involved, but she says no. Kelly says Michael gave her the shots because she couldn’t do it herself. Heather tells us that her frozen embryos are immortalized in the frosted glass of her lovingly designed window. Andy asks if he can buy one.

They discuss Meghan’s disappointment at not having twins. She says it was hard and she was hormonal, but she’s lucky that she got pregnant at all with a healthy baby. A viewer wonders if Meghan will have the same love for her step-children as she will for her own baby. Meghan says the bond will be different, but she’d throw herself in front of a bus for any of the kids. She’d probably throw Vicki under the bus too. BA-DUM-CHH!

After the commercial, Andy says welcome back like we went somewhere. Next up is Kelly. We flash back to Kelly’s ups and downs with her husband. Andy says he thinks she’s one of the most polarizing Housewives ever. He asks how she thinks she came off. She regrets how she treated Michael, but has no regrets about anyone else. You can hear a pin drop. She talks about how Michael became controlling after their daughter was born. Andy asks what she’s learned seeing her marriage play out on TV, and she thinks it was therapeutic. Andy questions Tamra, who thinks if Michael was diagnosed as a narcissist, it’s impossible for their marriage to improve. Kelly asks if she has a PhD in psychology, and I wonder if the test came from the internet.

Oh yay, we’re covering Shannon’s 70s party. We flash back to Shannon’s friends being excessively nasty to Kelly, and Shannon kicking Kelly out of the party. You! Who? Ha-ha! It was like an Abbot and Costello sketch. Clips of the subsequent bomb of a lunch follow. Shannon makes some excuse for the two idiots she invited. Shannon tells Kelly not to flatter herself that she’d waste time setting Kelly up. Kelly wonders why Shannon would shove drinks down her throat too.

The remark that Vicki made to David is brought up, as well as a discussion on who got in whose face first. While Vicki did walk over to David, he started it. Shannon makes excuses for David, and Meghan doesn’t think he was out of line. She says maybe it’s the millennial in her, but she wants to be treated “like any other man.” No comment. Kelly says that Shannon should have asked her friends to stop harassing her. Andy says it did seem like they were gunning for Kelly and Shannon has to agree. Of course she adds a “but…” Kelly says that Shannon wanted to hear the gossip and did nothing to stop it. We flash back to Shannon digging for the details. Shannon makes more excuses.

A viewer asks if Kelly regrets the low blow about David cheating, and she says no. Shannon says that Kelly doesn’t fight fair, but Kelly says if Shannon wants to fight, she’s going to fight dirty, now that she knows Shannon’s character.

Andy asks why Shannon accused Kelly of cheating. Shannon says there was a rumor that she was with a married man. She says the guy was living with his wife, and Kelly talked about being engaged during her separation from Michael, the guy’s family was damaged. Shannon says she broke up a family by having an affair. Apparently the guy’s wife and Shannon did some talking. Kelly tells her to blame him. In deciphering this, it sounds like the dude told Kelly he was separated, but still living in the same house, which is sadly common nowadays. Kelly certainly wasn’t hiding their relationship.

Shannon asks what she could possibly gain by lying about Kelly, and Kelly says drama. Shannon says she’s opinionated and sometimes that comes with drama, but she doesn’t manufacture it. She say she hopes Kelly is proud of herself. Andy makes annoying faces during this exchange, like he’s chomping at the gossip bit.

Next time, part two, Kelly suggests replacing Heather’s nickname “fancy pants” with “bossy pants,” Briana talks about her lupus diagnosis, Vicki tells Shannon to calm down, Kelly calls Heather hideous, and Andy pounds his scepter on the ground and yells at everyone to stop it.

👠  A short word about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Since they decided to squeeze this in on my already full Sunday night, I only jotted down a few takeaway points. Kandi has had baby Ace. He’s a real cutie and apparently a good baby. Neither Chateau Sheree nor Moore Manor is finished, although Kenya has moved in to her home. Sadly, she and Matt are having problems, and it sounds like he needs a little anger management. Kenya is also having a “soft opening” housewarming party, and next week, Porsha is showing up as an uninvited guest due to Phaedra’s plus one.

 

Nov7

November 6, 2016 – Two Cursed Hearts on Once, a Not Yet Broken Daryl on Dead & Continuing Conflicts on the NJ Reunion

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

A breeze blows through the bedroom as Snow and David sleep. Suddenly, Snow finds herself in the middle of the forest. The Evil Queen asks if she remembers her 15th birthday. She got a pony that was just another loyal subject and she’d said it was her best day ever.. The Evil Queen says Snow’s father always made sure Snow got more than she wanted, and now the queen wants what she’s always wanted – Snow’s heart in her hand. She says since David has half of Snow’s heart, she wants that too.

Snow says there’s a protection spell on both of them. The Evil Queen says they’ll hand their hearts over willingly. She shows Snow something terrible in a bottle. She tells Snow that they have twelve hours to figure it out or the whole town will get a taste of it. The Evil Queen disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke, and Snow examines the bottle.

The Evil Queen tells Zelena she’s finally getting her revenge on Snow, and David will be thrown into the bargain too. Zelena asks if Rumpel is helping her. The Evil Queen says they’re old friends.

Back in the day, Snow sells a piece of jewelry because she needs the cash…er, coppers. David looks for his mother’s lost lamb (is his mom’s name Mary?), but can’t find it. She says the way things are going, they’re going to have to admit defeat and sell the farm. David goes off to find a buyer for the farm. He’s going to the same port town that Snow is.

In the forest, Snow tears down a wanted poster with her face on it, and the Blue Fairy warns her to get out of the way. They nearly get creamed by an ax. Snow says it’s the Woodcutter, who is als oa bounty hunter. Snow says the forst is no place for her. She’s sold everything and has just enough to get away from The Evil Queen. She’s heading to the nearest port town.

In Storybrooke, Snow explains the bottle of trouble to the others. Emma’s hand shakes. She tells them that the Oracle said things could change as they went along, but the only certainty is her death. Regina tests what’s in the bottle on a tree. It goes all weird, loses it’s leaves and gets bigger. She says it’s water from the River of Lost Souls, and it proves that the Evil Queen is working with Gold. She says if Snow and David don’t give the queen their hearts, she’ll destroy the whole town. Snow wonders if this is the path to Emma’s death. David tells her not to give up. She says she’ll never do that, but the Evil Queen might have finally gotten them.

David’s dog, Wilby, brings him a cup. Wilby leads him to a tiny carriage. A traveling merchant comes out and says David has his cup. He says he was sleeping there so no one would find him. It turns out they’re going the same way, so the merchant offers David a ride. He’s not really a merchant though.

The Blue Fairy tells Snow that everyone loves her, and that love is the most powerful thing of all. Snow says love doesn’t hold its value and she can’t afford to invest in it. She says what can change her life is a ticket out. The Blue Fairy tells her to be careful, and that danger can seem harmless at first.

Fast forward, and Belle wishes she could help, but she’s looked through all her books at can’t find anything to counteract the water. The Blue Fairy, known as Mother Superior in Storybrooke, joins them and says she has nothing either. She thinks there might be some magic to imprison the Evil Queen in a sapling inspired by true love. She believes it’s lost somewhere in Storybrooke. She tells them that there’s a beckoning spell, but it won’t be invisible to Gold and the Evil Queen, so it will be a race. Regina says there might be more between the queen and Gold than just business. Regina says she’d always had chemistry with Rumpel and they can use it to their advantage.

Zelena gets a note from the Evil Queen to meet her at Gold’s shop. Regina peeks out from around the corner and watches Zelena enter. Zelena sees Gold in the back of the shop making out with the Evil Queen. The Evil Queen tells Gold that they should take it somewhere more comfortable, and Zelena says, yeah, like a bed of lies, and walks out.

The Evil Queen blocks Zelena’s path. She says she didn’t say anything because she knew Zelena would be jealous – the proof being in her green neck. Zelena says she’s tired of the lies. Gold sees the note, and the Evil Queen realizes that Regina wrote it. Gold says they’re being played.

Mother Superior makes a rainbow that shows them the way to the sapling.

Way back when, David and the merchant walk through the forest. David feels woozy after drinking some water, and the merchant tells him he shouldn’t take drinks from strangers. David passes out. Snow comes through the forest and hears something in the shrubs. Wilby comes running out and then she sees the Woodcutter’s ax. The Woodcutter tells her that the dog is good at finding strays, and Snow spits in his face. He says he’s not going to kill her, he’s just taking her the the queen for the reward, and the queen will kill her.

In the present, Snow tells David it’s good to be on an adventure with him again. Regina finds a trap door near a path in the forest. She opens it, asks if they’re ready, and the three of them disappear, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Hook tells Emma that her parents will be fine. They’ll find that baby tree thing and fix it. He reads from Henry’s book. It says David and Snow always found each other, no matter what the Evil Queen did, and even when they couldn’t, Emma made sure they did. Hook says they were born of her love and she can overcome anything. He tells her to remember who she is – the product of true love.

Wilby licks David’s face (true love’s kiss? ha-ha!) and he wakes up. David runs to the carriage. Snow is trapped inside. She tells David that the Woodcutter will be back any second and he needs to go. David starts banging at the lock.

Back to the future, Snow, David and Regina find the sapling. Snow and David uproot it and flash back to all of their adventures. Regina hurries them along, but the Evil Queen arrives. She steals the sapling and Snow says it won’t work for her. She breaks it in half and it turns to dust. She tells them to hand their hearts over, but David says they still have time. The Evil Queen says she’ll see them at the cemetery soon enough – it’s a good place for endings.

Back home, Snow tells David that they can’t let the town die. He wishes they could have saved the sapling. They talk about a shared memory where each thinks the other wasn’t there.

In the Enchanted Forest, the Woodcutter finds David trying to break the lock. They fight. Snow grabs the Woodcutter’s arm through a hole in the door and they’re able to kill him. David wants to free Snow, but she says she’s made some enemies. If he sees her face, he’ll have a target on his back. He says he’ll leave, and she can free herself. He asks what she’s doing alone out in the woods. She tells him that she’s trying to survive and not doing a good job of it. He thinks she’s resourceful, and tells her about having to sell the farm. She says she has money and wants to give it to him. He tells her that she needs it herself, but she says maybe she is resourceful, and makes plans to rob a corrupt nobleman. She tells David that knowing he believes in her makes her not alone. She gives him the money, and a little glowing thing happens. The sapling is born.

The Evil Queen tells the townspeople she’s glad they accepted her invitation. If Snow doesn’t show up in five minutes, she’s going to give them some water from the River of Lost souls. Zelena makes a snide remark to Belle about Rumpel making a deal with the queen.

Snow and David arrive. The Evil Queen says she knew they’d show up, even without the sapling. Snow says they know their love is more powerful than anything she has. They’re willing to make the sacrifice. Snow says their paths always go back to each other, and then to Emma. David has Regina remove the protection spell.

Snow and David stand before the Evil Queen holding hands. She’s all happy. She takes their hearts out and the townspeople let out a collective gasp. The Evil Queen says she’s dreamt of this moment forever. She wants to give Snow her pain. the pain of being alone. Since she couldn’t kill her, she’s come up with something more cruel. S returns their hearts. Snow falls to the ground, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. The Evil Queen tells David that since he always finds Snow, start looking and see what happens when he does.

Belle visits Gold’s shop. She tells him that Zelena told her about him and the Evil Queen. She says she doesn’t care what he does and who he does it with, but she does care about the shears. She says Gold intends to use him on their son, but he doesn’t get to tamper with their son’s life just to keep him from hating his father. She says she knows he’s better than that, and he does feel love and could be a good man. If he wants his son’s love, don’t take it, be worthy of it. Gold asks what if he fails. Belle says that’s him all over – fear of failing, which is worse than being evil; he’s too weak to be good. She leaves, and Gold is mighty pissed at Zelena.

David drives to the woods to look for Snow. Emma follows in the VW. David finds Snow in a case made of branches. He removes the top. Regina has come along, and says she doesn’t think it will work this time. David kisses Snow and she wakes up. They remember the first time this happened, and David falls over.

Regina says that the queen put a sleeping curse on Snow’s heart, so they share the curse. When one is awake the other will be asleep. Snow says they’ll never be together. Yeah, but they’ll never argue either.

Next time, Snow tries to break the curse, and Regina thinks they can trap the Evil Queen  behind the mirror, but she and Emma get trapped instead.

The Walking Dead

I would love watching King Ezekiel every week, but it doesn’t look like that’s the deal tonight.

Dwight is watching Who’s the Boss reruns, while he does shots with his girl, Sherry. Alrighty then. Dwight carves chess pieces. Bread is baked. Bartering is done. Negan kicks someone’s ass. Dwight writes down the number 39. He seems to have contraband pickles and condiments. Somehow, a chicken sandwich is born.

Dwight eats while watching some guys play weird games with the zombies. One zombie is stuck to a flagpole and just keeps sliding up and down. I guess the chicken has run out because Dwight makes a dog food sandwich. Oh wait. That’s for Daryl. Well, at least it’s probably loaded with nutrition. Daryl is also naked and I get a little distracted.

Alone in a small, dark cell, Daryl hears a way-too-loud song and I turn down the TV. Dwight brings another sandwich. He watches as Daryl eats. Daryl starts to sleep and the song starts up again. Dwight pops in with a sandwich. How many does he get a day? Daryl is all shaky and weird. Dwight brings in his crossbow and drags Daryl out.

Dammit! They gave Daryl clothes. They look like scrubs with an anarchy symbol on the shirt. Dwight take Daryl into a building to a Dr. Carson. Well, maybe he’s not a doctor, but he’s playing one. Sherry is there and recognizes Daryl, but Dwight says not to talk to him. Sherry tells Dwight it’s negative, and he says maybe next time. She tells Daryl to just do whatever they say.

The doctor checks Daryl out. He says Daryl will get better, and Negan will take care of him. Dwight smirks. Negan sees them in the hall. He wants to talk to Dwight. Daryl sits in the hallway until Dwight drags him out again.

Daryl watches the reindeer zombie games. Dwight tells Daryl that’s him unless he’s smart. He can be like them, or Dwight, or the zombies. He tells Daryl to make it easy on himself, and throws him back in the dark. He tells Daryl that he was rebellious at first too. The song plays again and I start laughing this time. It’s something called Easy Street and it’s very peppy.

Negan tells Dwight that Daryl is going apesh*t and some people are harder to break than others. Negan says since Dwight is doing a great job, pick who he wants as long as she says yes. (Well that’s good of him.) Dwight says he’ll pass and Negan is shocked. Dwight says he hasn’t earned it yet. A voice comes over the radio, saying they have an orange situation. A thief named Gordon has gotten away, and Dwight responds that he’ll meet them at the gate. Negan says he doesn’t have to do grunt work, but Dwight says he likes it. Dwight is so up to something, I wonder how Negan doesn’t see it.

They need to stop the torture, because I start laughing every time I hear that song now. Dwight is off on Daryl’s bike, so some other dude brings his sandwich. Along with another play of the song. OMG – stop it – hahahahahaha! I can’t take it anymore. It reminds me of the time a friend of mine put a token into a jukebox by accident. For whatever reason, it played the opposite side of the song we wanted and it wouldn’t stop. We would be talking, and every time the song would end, we’d wait…and then it would play again and we’d laugh hysterically. Finally, someone went over to the jukebox and kicked it a good one, and it moved on.

While I’m cracking up, Daryl manages to sneak out. I guess he stuck something over the door lock. Cool! Dwight comes across zombies with limbs cracking off as they try to crawl. Dwight pushes the bike along railroad tracks and past an accident. He takes it all in, and almost gets crowned by a zombie falling from the bridge above, then ends up nearly getting bitten by another one.

Back at Neganville or whatever it’s called, Daryl is confronted by Sherry. She tells him that he won’t get away, and when you’re bad, Negan will be worse. Daryl goes to the outside door and sees a line of bikes. He makes a run for them. Uh-oh. Caught. Surrounded. And here comes the man of the hour with his baseball bat. He asks if Daryl is pissing his pants yet. No, but I’m going to from laughing if he puts that song back on again.

No surprise, Negan is all smiley. He asks each man who they are and they all say Negan. He tells Daryl that he’s everywhere, and it was his last shot at realizing that fundamental truth. It sucks, because his life was about to get easier. He doesn’t think that Daryl gets it. Daryl has three choices: you work for Negan as a dead man; work for him and wish you were dead;or work for him, get a brand new pair of shoes, and live like a king. There’s no door number four; it’s the only way.

Negan almost hits Daryl with the bat, but Daryl puts his hand up to block it. Negan says he loves how Daryl doesn’t scare easy, but it pisses Lucille off; she finds it disrespectful. Lucky for him, she isn’t feeling thirsty today, but Negan is definitely getting a drink. He walks off whistling as the guys beat the crap out of Daryl.

Dwight continues on with a flat. He sees a zombie in the distance attacking someone. It’s Gordon. Dwight drops the bike, dispatches the zombie, and whacks Gordon.

Someone says Daryl’s name, It’s Sherry. She says, in the woods after they took his stuff, she said she was sorry. He’d told her she was going to be, and now she is.

Dwight asks Gordon if it was worth it. Gordon says just let him go, and Dwight says he can’t. Gordon asks why, since they used to be friendly, and Dwight keeps telling him to shut up.It’s revealed that Sherry was Dwight’s wife, although Dwight says not anymore. He tells Gordon to keep walking, that there’s nowhere to go anymore – everything is Negan’s or will be. Gordon says it’s okay if Dwight shoots him; he wants him to. Gordon says he can’t go back. Dwight says it’s the only way. Gordon says that’s what Negan wants them to believe. There’s only one of him, so why are they giving up?  Dwight says they were losing. Gordon says when they got there, they thought it would be okay and they could fight the monsters . He drops to his knees and Dwight tells him to get up, and that he’ll dig up Gordon’s dead wife and feed her to the crows if he doesn’t. Gordon says that Dwight won, but there’s nothing left. Gordon gets up and they start to walk again. Dwight shoots him in the back.

Sherry is having a smoke in the stairwell. Dwight asks her for a cigarette. Where are they getting those? Are they growing tobacco? He asks if Negan is good to her, and she says yes. She asks if Dwight is happy, and he says yes, but doesn’t sound like it. He says he did the right thing, and it’s better than being dead. Better than being a zombie maybe.

Oh no here it comes again. ♫ Easy street…da-da-da-da ♫ Daryl gets his sandwich. Dwight tells Daryl that he got his friend killed and he got Tina killed, so don’t pretend he doesn’t know the score. He should be dead, but Negan took a shine to him, and he shouldn’t forget he’s lucky. Dwight sticks a picture on the wall. and says don’t forget. Daryl swipes it down but then looks at it. It’s kind of dark and I can’t really see it, but I think it’s Glenn’s smashed in head.

Thank God. They finally play something different. Roy Orbison‘s Crying. Both Daryl and Dwight lsiten on opposite sides of the door. Daryl weeps. Dwight leaves before he starts.

Dwight brings Daryl to Negan. Negan tells Daryl he looks awful and they’ll have Carson fix him up. He says Dwight hustles and he likes hustle, but things weren’t always cool between them. He says Dwight’s sis fell behind on points because she needed lots of medication. Negan had wanted to marry her and take care of her because he’s a stand-up guy, but while he was thinking about it, Dwight stole the meds and took off with the girls. He couldn’t let something like that stand; there are rules. It cost him a lot going after Dwight, and he still got away, but he saw the light and came back to ask forgiveness. Negan was okay with it, but Lucille is a stickler for the rules. Dwight begged him not to kill Sherry, so he was just going to kill Dwight, but Sherry said she’d marry him instead. It was a start, but not enough, so Dwight got the iron, and then Negan married Sherry. After all that, Dwight still got on board. Negan says he’s a top guy, and they’re totally cool. He tells Daryl that he’s ready to be that guy.

All Daryl has to do is answer a simple question. Who are you? Daryl is quiet, and Negan asks if he’s overwhelmed by the awesomeness? Negan asks him again, while brandishing Lucille, who are you? Daryl answers, “Daryl.”

Negan smiles and tells Dwight that it’s cool. Daryl made his choice; it’s not his problem if it’s a dumbass choice. Daryl is thrown back into his cell, and Dwight says he’s going to wind up in that room or hanging on the fence. Daryl says he gets it. He understands why Dwight took it; he was thinking about someone else, which is why Daryl can’t.

Dwight ponders things outside, while watching the zombie Olympics or whatever that is going on. I almost feel sorry for him. He sees Gordon as a zombie, and it looks like Gordon recognizes him.

Next time, Rick sees Negan again, Michonne is ready to fight, and Rick tells the group that he’s not in charge anymore.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Reunion Part One

Beautiful dresses and Teresa looks stunning in a black strapless number. Andy asks about Joe #1, and Teresa says he’s working on his GED and wants to go to college when he gets back. Andy talks about the last reunion she attended, and he wondered at the time if she would be back. She says she’s surprised Jacqueline is there, and Jacqueline says she loves confrontation. As evidenced by her running away from every single one

Jacqueline talks about getting along with Dolores and Siggy. Siggy says she loves everyone. They talk about Dolores’s growth and how she became an independent woman this year. We flash back on how heavily she was counting on Frank, the best ex-husband in the universe. A viewer asks if Frank wasn’t in a relationship, if they’d get back together, but it’s a no. They talk about her son Frankie being hot, and her new management of the gym. They discuss Dina, and who she’s friends with now. Dolores talks about being friends with Caroline, and how it might have contributed to her and Dina no longer being close.

We flash back to the ups and downs with Jacqueline and Teresa this season. How do I detest Jacqueline? Let me count the ways. Andy asks if Jacqueline thinks Teresa has changed, and Jacqueline gives a vague “in some ways” answer. Siggy says Jacqueline’s intentions are good, but her delivery is horrible, and that Teresa is the opposite with no filter. They talk about Jacqueline calling Joe #2 and dragging him into things between her and Teresa. Andy asks if Jacqueline thought Melissa was threatened by the friendship? It doesn’t take long before the three of them are all talking at once. We flash back to Jacqueline’s criticism of Teresa buying a car after she got out of prison. Teresa says they paid back their restitution, and leasing a Lexus isn’t that much, which I’m sure is a matter of perspective. The bottom line for me is that unless someone is paying my bills, they have no business talking about my financial decisions.

Commercial break with important information. Below Deck is on Wednesday this week.

Apparently, Teresa had tweeted that she would like Danielle Staub back on the show. She thinks Danielle would be a great enemy for Jacqueline. Danielle had asked on Facebook if Teresa understands now how it felt to be called names in front of her children. We’re treated to a flash back of Teresa calling Danielle a “prostitution whore,” and flipping the table.

They talk about Siggy and Dolores’s friendship. They’ve known each other the least amount of time, but seem closest. We flash back to a bunch of Siggy stuff. Siggy talks about her family’s move to Israel when she was in high school, and how she came back to America for her senior year.

Jacqueline’s family life is discussed – Ashlee’s engagement, Nicholas’s breakthroughs, and Jacqueline becoming a “glamma.” Jacqueline talks about her new grandson. Teresa and Melissa are whispering and Andy breaks it up. Teresa says Jacqueline talks all about family, and then allows her daughter to say nasty things on Twitter. We see a tweet from Ashlee about Teresa, calling her an ape. Huh? Teresa tells Jacqueline that her daughter needs to learn respect. Jacqueline tries to drag Gia into it, and Teresa tells her to compare what Ashlee puts online to what Gia does. Ashlee has been crazy rude over the years, and I’d hazard a guess that Gia is a nun in comparison.

Joe #2 joins the ladies. Andy talks about what great mothers all the women are, and we flash back to various scenes with the various kids. It’s amazing that most of these kids turned out halfway normal. Andy asks if Teresa gets Jacqueline’s position better after being with Nicholas, and Teresa says she realizes it’s difficult. They talk about Milania, who can be a real loudmouth, but also very sweet. Jacqueline gives her props for how wonderful she is with Nicholas.

We go back in time, watching how Melissa developed her business and the conflicts she had with Joe #2. Andy talks about Joe’s crumb comment being sexist, and Joe says he was raised a certain way. He talks about Melissa giving him sloppy Joes from the can when they were first married. Melissa says that he’s definitely evolved. A fan points out that Melissa had been arrested for shoplifting twenty years ago (when she was a teenager? really? someone’s bringing this up?), and she talks about going through a rebellious period. Derek has quit Envy, but Melissa says it had nothing to do with him selling stories. They talk about Kim D and who told who not to shop where or go to whose events.

Jacqueline acts like Kim D isn’t that bad, but we flash back to her gossiping about Teresa right to Jacqueline. A viewer asks about Teresa not liking that Jacqueline asked her about tabloid rumors, but it not bothering Teresa when Siggy did. Teresa says she didn’t know Siggy. Andy doesn’t get it, but I do. What she saying is that Jacqueline should have known better than asking if something was true, but Siggy wouldn’t have known that, so it was an innocent question when she asked.

Andy says it’s nice to see Teresa and Melissa getting along, and they agree. We flash back to Teresa coming home. It’s such a beautiful, human moment, not matter how you might feel about these two, they’re still people and they’re still a family who love each other. We flash back to Joe #1 leaving. Teresa talks about being away from her daughters. Andy asks them about visiting Joe #1 and Melissa says she most likely won’t. She talks to him on the phone and he has a huge family who all want to see him. We learn that Joe #2 lost his virginity at the age of nine and Teresa walked in on it. Thank you for that visual.

Because Teresa and Melissa are getting along so well, Jacqueline brings up the sprinkle cookies from ten Christmases ago. We flash back to the history of discord between them. Melissa asks why Jacqueline likes to examine their family problems. Jacqueline says they keep implying that she was involved in Strippergate, and Jacqueline says let’s talk about the facts. Teresa infers that it was Jacqueline who did some stripping. I’d also like to know why Jacqueline feels the need to be so involved with the interpersonal relationships of people she’s not related to.

After Teresa insisting that Jacqueline is the one who was once a stripper and Jacqueline saying she wasn’t, we flash back to when that club guy claimed Melissa worked for him (she was a bartender). Now that they’ve jogged my memory, Jacqueline stirred the pot during that whole thing. Melissa tells Jacqueline her hands aren’t clean. Teresa says Jacqueline and Kim D have been tight since day one. Jacqueline says they play dirty and does Melissa think she’d really do that to her? Melissa says she’s not in denial about Teresa, but Jacqueline didn’t show up to the reunion, running away from any responsibility. Melissa says she thinks Jacqueline felt guilty and didn’t want to face her. She says the number one person who caused it was Kim D, but Jacqueline likes situations to happen to other people, taking the attention off of herself. Andy says Joe #2 is the real stripper and Joe wants to know what’s wrong with strippers.

Jacqueline talks about who was going to be at the reunion and how it was toxic, so she avoided it. Teresa says Jacqueline has done numerous things to hurt her and her family. She says that Jacqueline is the one who gave the tabloids a story about Joe #1 cheating. It’s interesting – we flash back to see Jacqueline asking Teresa leading questions and Teresa basically saying she’d kill Joe if she caught him cheating. Jacqueline tells Teresa she’s crazy. Teresa says she’d never put up with it and Joe #2 backs her up. Teresa says Jacqueline’s first husband cheated on her, and somehow it gets to Dolores not having liked Jacqueline for a long time prior to this season, which Dolores denies.

Teresa says Jacqueline is a liar, and Jacqueline says that Teresa went to jail for lying. Teresa says she pled guilty, but Jacqueline set her up. Teresa says Jacqueline and Caroline were behind everything, even calling the government. Siggy says Jacqueline truly loved Teresa at one time. Jacqueline is aghast, but Teresa says she’s glad she got it off her chest and believes it in her gut. Jacqueline says no wonder Teresa is so angry at her.

Next time, extra housewife Chris wants Teresa, Joe #2, or both to take responsibility; Melissa tells Jacqueline she has crazy eyes; Siggy tries to be peacemaker – no doubt unsuccessfully; and Dolores says to light a candle, because that thing is dead. She could be referring to quite a few things here.

Nov1

October 31, 2016 – GH on the Fly & an OC Good-by

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

The condensed (for me) version, because Halloween. The spellcheck also isn’t working on my site today, so forgive any typos.

Valentin says he’s a free man. Must be a technicality. He has a document that grants him unconditional release from the Greek authorities. Of course everyone thinks he’s lying. He pled self-defense.

Valentin likes Ava’s new hairdo. I like that he noticed she changed it. He’s definitely smooth. He wants to become acquainted with his sister Alexis and the rest of the family, but they’re not receptive. Dante calls Jordan and yep, Valentin is free on a legal technicality. Called it.

Love, love, love Kiki’s steampunk outfit. I have one of tose little hats. I’ll bet she got it at Spirit Halloween.

Is Morgan really here?

Nina meets Charlotte, who has run away from Griff. Griff has been looking for her and explains to Nina that she’s his daughter. Nina brings out a bunch of costumes for Charlotte to pick from. She’d been hoping to look after Nathan’s daughter, but realizes that’s out the window. Griff says Claudette is missing, but they don’t know the story.

The Floating Rib is rocking. Franco the mime wonders why Elizabeth is there with Jason when she said she was spending time with the boys. Elizabeth tells him that Jason is there to pick up Jake. Franco tells Jason to let Monica know she’s welcome for him saving GH. Jason and Jake leave, and Elizabeth asks if Franco has to assume the worst when she’s with Jason. Apparently so. Dillon shows up as Elvis.

Sonny tells Morgan he’s sorry, and Morgan forgives him. They hug, and Morgan isn’t Morgan any more, but a guy who tells Sonny to get off of him.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she and Json will always be connected – it’s part of the package. She asks if Franco would like her jealous of Nina. Franco tells her that he feels like they’re too polite together.

Everyone is annoyed about Valentin skating on the murder charges. He says it’s Ava’s word against his. He claims he shot Nicholas in self=defense, and Doc was an accident.

Kiki says that seeing Dillon reminds her of everything she did wrong. Dillon says she’s not responsible for what happened, but she says she’s responsible for what led up to it. Like she should have babysat Morgan. She says she was disloyal for being happy with Dillon. She asks him to go.

The kid at Sonny’s came on a dare. His friends encouraged him to go trick-or-treating at “the godfather’s house.” Sonny roughs him up for pretending to be Morgan and the kid calls him crazy.

Doc brings up the attempted kidnappng of Spencer, and Valentin has an answer for that too. The deal he struck got rid of all charges in the US. Anna is taking the case. Valentin says this is his home now. He hands Alexis the papers.

Charlotte freaks out at The Floating Rib, wanting mommy.

Sonny tells the kid he disreapected him and his son. Jason comes in just in time, and the kid skedaddles. Jason tells Sonny he’s checking on him. Sonny says he’s doing just great; his son is gone and he’ll never see him again. For a moment, he thought everything was okay, but Morgan is dead because of something he did.

Nina explains how Charlotte changed fathes to Dillon.

Ava tells Valentin that  he’d won; he didn’t have to shoot Nicholas. Valentin insists it was an accident. Laura givs the papers back to Valentin. He says they can live together peacefully and become friends. Lulu asks what he wants.

Charlotte screams like a banshee, and says she hates Griff. Elizabeth intervenes. She says blah blah, mom loves her, but daddy does too. Charlotte is dressed as a nurse and Elizabeth says that she’s a nurse too. She works with her daddy who’s a doctor.

Jason tells Sonny about a guy named Christoph, who’s bomb signature matches the one in the car. He says the cops are trying to link him to Sonny, and if they’re chasing a false lead, it could work to his advantage. Sonny says it won’t change anything about his responsibility. Morgan, who Sonny sees on the couch, tells him that he told Morgan to take responsibility, not it’s his turn.

Valentin says he’s sorry; he has childhood abandonment issues. He wants to prove himself to the family. He says he’ll give them some time to process things and leaves.

Griff thanks Elizabeth, who says she’s an old hand at tantrums. Griff says he’s going to deal with explaining about Clauette tomorrow.

 

Franco tells Kiki that he can’t turn his back on Elizabeth for a second; she’s not even safe with a priest. Kiki tells him to quit being insecure and jealous; he’s sounding like Morgan. Franco says yeah, and Morgan had nothing to worry about.

Franco makes a crack about Griff to Elizabeth. She’s like, what the hell, she was just helping a friend and he’s acting like a moron. He says they’ve been set back a few times. Elizabeth says he knows how she feels, but he says he wants to know if what’s happening between them is real. She asks if he’s talking about sex, and Franco says no, yes, are they going to have it?

Not-really-there Morgan tells Sonny he has to make it right. Jason asks how much Sonny has had to drink, and Sonny says not enough to pass out. He tells Jason that he’s a bad man with many failings, but not a coward. He has to live with a son being dead because of him, and he might not be sober, but he’ll be sane. Jason tells him to get some sleep and offers to stay. Vision Morgan tells Sonny to send him away. He knows what he has to do. He has his piece.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he has real feelings and needs to know if what they have is real. Elizabeth says she wants to really, really get to know him, and when the time is right, they’ll most likely end up in bed. She lays a tremendous kiss on him.

Ava tells Laura that Valentin murdered Nicholas without a second thought, and thinks he’d murder anyone who got in his way. Doc asks about Spencer. Laura says he’s safe, but the school is stepping up security. She’s shocked about the house being stolen out from underneath her. She says if he thinks they can get along, he’s insane. Sam tells Alexis she’s sorry, but Alexis says she needs to know what she’s dealing with. Dante calls Griff.

Griff tells Charlotte that in spite of his mistakes, God gave her to him, and he’s keeping her safe.

Valentin enters the office at Crimson, and tells Nina hello.

Sonny tells Jason to leave; he’s going to sleep. Jason says Max is outside, and he’s just a cell phone call away if Sonny needs anything. They say good-by.

Spectre Morgan gives a thumbs up. Sonny calls Diane. He wants to know what he owns legally offshore, and tells her he wants to get his affairs in order. In-Sonny’s-head Morgan tells him good-by and disappears.

I have no clue what’s happening tomorrow, because Halloween.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Meghan wants to be with her family when she and Jim learn the sex of their baby. The doctor has helped them have a cake made, where the inside icing will either be pink or blue. They cut the cake and it’s pink. In her interview, Meghan says she’d like to give Jim a boy, but she’s excited about having a girl. We flash back to her IVF treatments and how difficult the whole process has been.

Vicki and Briana check out Briana’s new house. The renovations are taking forever and they’ve totally blown the budget. Briana has brought her interior designer along. In her interview, Briana says, as usual, her mom is overly involved. They talk about Tamra’s party, and Vicki says they’ve had a roller coaster relationship for years. Briana thinks she’s being used as a buffer, but she’s okay with it because she cares about both of them.

Shannon talks to David about the party for Tamra, and how Vicki and Kelly are invited because Tamra wanted them on the guest list. David isn’t thrilled about having Vicki over and neither is Shannon. David says he’ll just suck it up. They’re taking one for the Tamra team.

Everyone gets ready for the party. Things are going well with Kelly and Michael. She says he’s been looking after her concerns and is attentive, and maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks. Meghan comes by, and Kelly says Shannon thinks she owes her an apology, even though they were both wrong. Meghan thinks Kelly should just apologize first. In her interview, she says she saw a side of Heather on the Ireland trip that she didn’t like, and that she can be coniving. She tells Kelly that she can give low blows, like telling Shannon she had hair on her chin. Kelly jokes that it wasn’t mean, she was just helping a sister out. To our discredit, Meghan and I both laugh.

Shannon tells her makeup person that she’s not into seeing Vicki or Kelly at the party. She says Vicki crossed the line and you never know what you’re going to get with Kelly.

Tamra is pissed because Vicki said something about Eddie a hundred years ago, even though Eddie couldn’t care less. In her interview, it sounds like she’s being angry in retrospect about things that Vicki has done. Eddie gives Tamra a pair of Louis Vuitton shoes and now I’m wondering if he’s gay. JUST KIDDING. I think.

Terry asks Heather what the party is about, and immediately Heather starts gossiping about Vicki and Kelly. We flash back to how some of the girls foisted alcohol on Kelly in Ireland. Heather says she’s seen who they are and she gets it. Whatever that means. Heather has contributed a donut tower to the party.

The donut tower collapses and Tamra scarfs up the donuts on the ground, since she’s been deprived for so long. Really just kidding this time. But only because she’s not there yet.

Vicki has written a nice apology letter to Shannon, saying she’s in a better place and hopes they can make a fresh start and move on. She tells Briana that Shannon will never take any responsibility, so she’s willing to do it. In her interview, Vicki says she doesn’t want any conflict with the girls any more, and just wants to move on. It will never happen. Never. They are totally in the stuck position with Vicki. Except for Meghan, who threw me for a loop this season. Maybe she just needed to be more hormonal.

The honored guest arrives. Ha-ha! There’s one of those things you put your head through to take a picture and it’s Tamra’s body. Everyone attacks the donuts. Tamra and Mia talk about her next fitness goal. No rest for the wicked. Heather and Shannon are all kissy-kissy. Shannon tells Heather about the donut tower, and we flash back to the cake bow incident. I’d forgotten about that. Another time when I thought Heather overreacted. Tamra makes nasty remarks about a nice text Vicki sent to her. She teleports across the room the second Vicki enters the party. Vicki gives Shannon the card. In her interview, Shannon isn’t pleased. She doesn’t like that Vicki couldn’t “woman up” and tell her in person. Well, some people write better than they talk. I don’t think anything would be enough though. Vicki hunts down Tamra and asks if she got the text, and Tamra pretends she didn’t. What an a-hole she is.

Meghan, Kelly and Michael arrive. Meghan tells everyone it’s a girl. Vicki asks her about names and such. Tamra, Heather and Shannon sit apart from them. Shannon says it’s been 15 days since they came back from Ireland and now Vicki is apologizing. Vicki tells Kelly that the clique is clique-ing. Kelly says when you have a party, you should want to make everyone comfortable. I agree. I don’t get why Tamra wanted her there if she was just going to be rude. I also don’t like the public confrontation stuff.

Meghan joins the clique. Shannon gripes about the late apology. Meghan talks about Kelly wanting to apologize, but feeling like she was being ganged up on, and that they were trying to get her drunk. Shannon jokes about a conspiracy theory, and wonders if Kelly thinks she’s involved with JFK’s death too. Meghan tells Heather that Kelly thinks she’s meddling, and says Heather was whispering about her. Of course Heather justifies what she did. Meghan says she likes Kelly. Healther says it’s so vile, Vicki and Kelly belong together.

I’ve decided that Tamra should invest in a dictionary since she can’t come up with anything better to say than the f-word. I’m not opposed to it, but she’s like Johnny One-Note. Any time she doesn’t like what someone says, it’s an immediate f-u.

Tamra has ice-breaking gifts that are also an f-u to Vicki. What did I just say? They’re “mug shots” of each woman, with their charges underneath them. Kelly’s is public drunkeness; Shannon’s, judgy eyes; Meghan’s, concealing a child; Heather’s, being too fancy. Since Vicki realized she wasn’t wanted, she wandered off to the bar, but Tamra tracks her down. Her charge is lying. Vicki acts like it’s a big joke. In her interview, Tamra says she’s going to put it on a bumper sticker next. What is wrong with this woman? I probably say that at least three times during every Wives episode. In her interview, Vicki says Tamra is trying to bait her, and she’ll be polite, but the shirt is going in the garbage.

Kelly wants to talk to Shannon about their “miscommunication.” Shannon says she’d made amends with Kelly, and then Kelly dared to say she had hair on her chin. Like that came out of the blue. Shannon says this is the first time she’s heard Kelly say that she’s wrong, and talks about the lies that could hurt her children, dragging Vicki into it. Kelly says she was wrong, but felt backed into a corner. Shannon says what the two of them repeated wasn’t true, but now it’s out there. Heather tries putting in her two cents, but Kelly calls her an interloper and wants to know why Heather is after her. Heather says that Kelly lashes out and says mean things; saying horrible stuff and then apologizing is her algorithm. Please. Fancy isn’t the word. Kelly talks about Heather saying she was having a mental breakdown, and Heather says she is. Kelly calls her insecure for interfering in other people’s business. Heather says she wanted to like her.

Vicki starts to walk away and Heather says don’t move. Really, she says that. She tells Vicki she has things to answer for.Vicki says she’s not going on the witness stand again, and Tamra tells her to quit talking about people. She says Vicki is insecure because she dated a d-bag, and Vicki agrees that she did. Tamra says bottom line, Vivki needs to stop talking about people and STFU.

Vicki tells Tamra to stop talking about her. We flash back to Tamra talking about Vicki. Vicki says she’s not apologizing anymore. In her interview, she says if you don’t like people talking about you, stop talking about people; it’s that simple. Vicki tells Tamra that she doens’t want any more mean girl stuff, and heads for the door. Shannon stops her, saying she can write an apology, but can’t say it? Vicki says sorry. Shannon says she draws the line at her children. She tells Vicki that they had fun together in Ireland, but then she realized she was back in bed with the devil. Why does it always have to be so dramatic? Vicki says she’s worried about her. Shannon says that she and David renewed their vows and they’re fine. She saysshe and Vicki are done, even though she has empathy for her. Vicki is pretty apathetic through Shannon’s whole tirade, and says fine, have a nice life. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to be around toxic people anymore.

Shannon and Heather talk about Vicki. In her interview, Heather says sometimes relationships aren’t salvagable and it’s time to move on. She doesn’t know the future with either Kelly or Vicki.

It’s the finale, so they have the blurbs about what’s happening now, along with a few parting sentences. Meghan feels that she’s not so sure she wants her child exposed to this nonsense, and is thinking about a permanent move back to St. Louis.

Briana approaches Tamra and asks if she’ll talk to Vicki. Tamra says she will for Briana. Briana thinks Vicki’s deflection and lack of taking responsibility have cost a lot in regard to her friendships. Vicki apologizes to Tamra for repeating a rumor. Tamra says that Vicki continuously talks about people, and it’s vicious, like her saying David beat Shannon. Vicki says she worries about Shannon. Tamra trots away from her, saying Shannon is fine and Vicki is a bitch. Her final Christian parting shot. Vicki tells Briana, let’s go. We flash back to Vicki’s apologies at the beginning of the year. She tells Briana that she thought they cold move forward, but she’s tired of their accusations and she’s done.

Tamra says sometimes you have to let people go, and a lot of blah blah blah.

Vicki tells Briana that she hates conflict, but every time she thinks it’s done, something else happens. The end blurbs aren’t very interesting, although Briana was diagnosed with Lupus, so at least that puts her health issue to rest.

Next time, the reunion. Same advice as for New Jersey – duck and run.

🎃 Hope everyone had a happy and safe Halloween! 🎃

Oct31

October 30, 2016 – Captain Nemo Finds Storybrooke, Carol Finds a King & Siggy Finds No Closure

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Long ago, on the Jolly Roger, Hook yells at the crew for being slow. One of the men says they’re tired and Hook asks who dares defy him?. It’s a stowaway who says he’s no one and wants to ask him a simple question. He asks if taking revenge on the Dark One has been worth the time and effort. Hook says he’ll have to settle for him first, but suddenly sees what he thinks is a sea monster. The stowaway tells him there isn’t one, and he’s saving Hook’s life. He pushes him into the water and dives in after him.

In Storybrooke, Regina hunts down the Evil Queen for a little chat. The Queen insults her lack of entrance flair. Zelena joins them. Regina says that her masquerade as a cricket therapist didn’t work.

Snow and David are inside Zelena’s house. Snow lets Jiminy Cricket out of his cage. I’ll say it again – he’s so cute! I want one.

The Evil Queen says she’s not there just to gloat, she’s there for something else. Zelena runs inside where David and Snow are. The Evil Queen says the real fun can begin and Regina appears in between them, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. She tells the Evil Queen to bring it on.

At Granny’s, Jasmine tells Aladdin they haven’t talked about Agribah – they still need his help. He doesn’t want to hear about it and leaves the diner.

Hook joins Henry and Emma for breakfast, but Emma gets a text from Jasmine that she doesn’t know where Aladdin is. Emma and leaves to help find him. Hook tosses Henry’s Pop Tarts in the trash and says he’s going to make him a pirate’s breakfast of grapefruit and mackerel. I have to admit, it’s a lot healthier. God only knows what’s in a Pop Tart. I won’t touch them. Henry takes the trash out.

The Evil Queen is waiting outside, and asks Henry if his new father is bothering him. Henry says Hook isn’t his father, but she says he may be soon. She says she knows what it’s like to be that person, and Henry says Hook isn’t like her. She shows him a box that Hook was fooling around with, and he finds the shears. The one thing that can take away what makes Emma special. She says Hook doesn’t care about Henry or Emma, and he needs to asks himself what he’s going to do about it.She disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. Copycat.

Emma catches Aladdin breaking into a car. He says it’s his, and she says they need to talk. He says he knows Jasmine sent her.

Hook looks for Henry. He sees that the shears are gone.

Back in the day, Hook comes to on a submarine. A man with a harpoon tells Hook welcome aboard. Hook punches him out and asks where he is. He asks what magic this is, and a captain welcomes him to the Nautilus, saying to call him Nemo. Hook asks what he wants. Nemo says the ship is a second chance. Hook says he’s not staying. Nemo says he knows Hook’s heart is full of hatred and seeking revenge, and he finds people like him. The one thing missing in his life is family. Hook says no one will replace what the Dark One took. Nemo says he knows how it feels. He lost a family too, brutally murdered while he was at sea. He spent decades hunting the murderers down. When he was finished, all he was left with was an empty heart and a blood-stained harpoon.

Hook wants out, but Nemo needs his help with a mission. He tell Hook that when it’s done, he’ll see this ship is where he belongs.

Hook finds Henry at the docks and asks what he’s doing there. Henry says what his mom wanted Hook to do. Hook says he’s trying to protect Emma. They see something rise out of the water and start to run, but their path is blocked by a guy who says the captain wants to see Hook.

Henry and Hook are taken on to the Nautilus. Hook opens the window shade and it’s super cool under the water. The ship is pretty amazing too.

Snow and David meet at the hospital. Another refugee from the Land of Untold Stories has been brought in. David is going to go to the station to see if he’s been reported missing. Snow sees Belle in the waiting room. She’s getting her first ultrasound. She doesn’t want Rumpel to be a part of anything, but doesn’t know how to deal with it. Snow says she doesn’t have to deal with it for three trimesters.

Henry wonders what would happen if Hook had just gotten rid of the shears. He says he’s saving her life. Henry says her being the Savior is what brought them together, and Hook doesn’t get to make decisions since he not part of the family. Henry says they’re just going to be fish food now anyway. Hook says the captain isn’t someone he’s going to want to meet.

Way back when, Nemo and Hook are in old-fashioned diving suits with those big round helmets. Nemo tells him stay on the path. They go through a cavern. Another diver says he’d give his life for Nemo. His family was taken for him and he grew up on the docks, vowing revenge, and Nemo saved his life. Hook asks if he found those who wronged him. They guy says no, and Hook says he shouldn’t give up so easily.

They come across a huge treasure chest. Nemo says there’s more than gold and jewels in it. Hook tries to back away and a giant squid grabs him. Nemo said stay on the path, dude. The squid is awesome, all tentacles and teeth. Nemo harpoons it. Good-by giant squid! Nemo says Hook is stubborn, but he hasn’t given up on him. He’s part of the family.

Rumpel as Gold visits the Evil Queen. She says she’s driving a wedge through the Charming clan and asks if he’d care to join her. He asks if she remembers her lessons. Never take what’s his being the most important one. He says the shears are gone, and he can smell her magic all over it. The Evil Queen realizes he wants to use them on Belle so he can change the fate of his family. She tells him like everyone he’s ever loved, the shears are long gone. He tells her to be careful who she crosses; she might need an ally. She says you don’t need allies when you win, and she’s doing fine without him.

Emma drives Aladdin out to the woods. She shows him the Welcome to Storybrooke sign. She shows him the base where a car hit it. She says she hit it after Henry tried to convince her she was the Savior. She says it wasn’t the only time. Yesterday when he gave her the shears, she was worried she might use them. She imagines her family having to watch her die. She says she ran, but came back to face the people she disappointed, and tried to make up for her mistakes. He says he doesn’t know how to fix things in Argribah. She tells him finding out what happened is a good place to start.

Hook tells Henry he killed his own father. When he did it, he didn’t just take his life. He had a son, named Liam after Hook’s older brother, and he left an innocent boy an orphan.

In the past, Nemo shows Hook a key. He says all they do is sail with no place to call home. This key opens the gateway to the Mysterious Island, where you can start over. He tells Hook this is his chance. Hook says he can’t give up now. Nemo says Hook has lost people he loves and doesn’t want to open his heart, but the island is a place where he never has to lose anyone again. He asks Hook to join his crew. Hook asks where he got the key, and Nemo says it belongs to his first mate. He was a young boy when his father was murdered. He tells Hook his first mate’s name is Liam.

Fast forwarding, Henry thinks Hook is trying to make up for Liam with him. He says Hook can’t do that, but maybe he can, and shows him the shears. He says, first rule of kidnapping is they never search the kid. Hook gives Henry a diving suit. He says there’s only one helmet, so he’s not going. He says if only one of them can go back to Emma, it’s Henry. Henry dives into the water.

Back in time, Liam approaches, calling Hook “brother.” He says he’s been waiting a long time for this and produces a weapon.

Hook runs farther into the submarine. He sees Nemo who tells him that running from Liam won’t solve anything. Liam is like a son to him and gave up seeking vengeance. Liam enters, saying he was a son to someone else once too. Nemo says killing Hook won’t quench the fire inside him. Liam tells Nemo that’s easy for him to say; he got his revenge. Nemo says they were so close to finding a home. Liam says his heart is no stronger than the captain’s. Nemo gets in between Hook and Liam, and Liam stabs Nemo accidentally. Hook says Liam deserves better, and hopes he finds it. He jumps into the water.

In the present, Liam tells Hook he’s taken everything, his father and Nemo. Hook realizes the Mysterious Island is the Land of Untold Stories, and Nemo is in Storybrooke. Liam says that Hyde took Nemo, and he’s dead because of Hook. Henry returns and tells Liam to stop. While he’s distracted, Hook knocks him out. Hook says he told Henry to leave, and Henry says if he had Hook would be dead. Hook says he couldn’t see another family ruined, and Henry says neither could he.

Hook says he won’t use the shears if Henry doens’t want him to. They’ll find another way to save Emma; the decisions don’t have to come true. He puts the shears in a chest and it sinks into the water.

Aladdin approaches Jasmine. He apologizes. She says she knows he feels guilty, but there’s more he needs to know. He says he might not be the Savior anymore, but if they go back to Agribah, he might be able to help. Jasmine says she went to a neighboring kingdom seeking an alliance. She got caught in a sandstorm on the way back, and when she got there, Agribah was gone. Way to end their storyline.

Belle asks Snow about the patient that was brought in. Snow says he’s in surgery, but the doctor thinks he has a chance. Belle has two copies of the sonogram. Snow asks if she’s giving one to Gold. Belle doesn’t know if he can ever repair things. She does know the son in her dream looked at him with hatred. She wishes things could turn out differently.

The patient is Liam. Hook sits next to the bed and tells him he’s in the hospital. He’s surprised Hook didn’t kill him, but Hook says he has something to live for now. Liam realized if he killed Hook in front of Henry, he’d be creating another boy filled with hate. He wishes Nemo could see them.

Nemo is wheeled in. He was found this morning, and was the patient in surgery. He and Liam join hands and Hook goes to the waiting room. Emma is confused as to what happened. Hook says he’ll fill her in, and Henry jets. He says everything that happened was his fault. Henry was looking to right a wrong. He didn’t dispose of the shears, thinking it might help save her even if she hated him for it. He says Henry made him see the error of his ways, and they’re at the bottom of the ocean. She says she would have done the same thing. They embrace.

Gold looks at a huge book. He says the pirates and the son worked things out in the end. The Evil Queen tells him that they’re an insipid bunch, too forgiving of each other. She says she’s come to make amends, and has been going about it all wrong. She forgot the most important lesson – know what you want and go after it with everything you have. He asks what she wants. She kisses him. Hmm…

Belle comes to Gold’s shop. She sees it’s closed and slips the sonogram picture under the door.

Gold asks if the Evil Queen wants him. She says something else, but she needs his help. He asks what makes her think he would help her. The Evil Queen says fortunately for him, there are still a few underwater creatures who owe her a favor. She has the shears. He asks what she needs his help with. She tells him that the one thing she’s always wanted is Snow White’s heart and smiles

Next time, the contents of a bottle could destroy Storybrooke, they have 12 hours to figure it out, danger lurks around every corner, and the Evil Queen thinks the cemetery is a good place for endings.

The Walking Dead

Carol is being hauled in a wagon by two guys on horseback that look like knights. Morgan follows.

Zombies attack and Carol falls off. Morgan and the others fight them off. Carol thinks she sees someone she knows, but it’s a zombie. She staggers away while the guys are still fighting. She comes to a house and sees a lady beckon from the window, but it’s a zombie. She slumps against a fence. A zombie is headed toward her and gets it’s face sliced off. Nice one. A bunch of people on horseback come in and dispatch the rest. I’m going with this crowd.

A guy named Daniel says they’ve been looking for Morgan, but it looks like he found some people himself. Morgan fiddles with a mailbox because maybe that zombie mailman from Z Nation is coming along.

Carol sleeps while Morgan sits next to the bed. She wakes to the sound of makeshift wind chimes. She asks how long she’s been asleep and he tells her two days. I always think that would be freaky to wake up and so much time has gone by. But it’s better than American Werewolf in London where he was out for three weeks. She asks where they are.

Morgan wheels her through the town. He says their weapons will be with held until they leave. In about a week, they can go back to Alexandria. The town is called The Kindgom. Morgan says they were helping Carol, so he helped them. It’s beautiful, lots of plants and animals, and Renaissance Faire clothing. Morgan explains the story he gave the man in charge, whose name is King Ezekiel.

Morgan wheels Carol into a building. He tells her Ezekiel does his own thing. They go into an auditorium where Ezekiel sits on a throne with his pet tiger next to him. I like him already. He could possibly save this show for me. I’m getting to the point where I’m tired of it being depressing and more depressing.

Ezekiel tells the tiger to settle down; these are their guests. He says if she’s a friend of Morgan, she’s considered a friend of the realm unless proven otherwise. He introduces himself and welcomes her to The Kingdom. He asks if he detects skepticism, and if she thinks he’s mad. He asks what she thinks of The Kingdom and King. She tells him that she thinks he’s amazing, the place is amazing, and Shiva the tiger is amazing. She says she doesn‘t know what’s going on in the most wonderful way. He says he let’s everyone take what they want as long as they contribute. Drink from the well, replenish the well.

He has one of his men give her some fruit. She says she doesn’t want to be any trouble and she’s not a fruit person. He says if there’s anything she wants or needs, just ask, and mentions they have a great musician. She says more rest and maybe a hairbrush; no one told her she was meeting royalty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile like this, but I don’t know if she’s faking it. They both say it’s a pleasure, and Morgan wheels her out.

Carol is like, what the what? She tells Morgan that this is make believe and she can’t do this. Freakin’ spoilsport. Morgan tries to talk to her. She says when he’s not there to stop her, she’ll go. He says he’ll stop her, but she says it’s not up to him. He says he won’t let her die out there. She says it doesn’t matter what he does.

Is she kidding? This place is awesome!

Ezekiel and company hunt some wild pigs. They drive them to a place where a zombie is hanging from the ceiling, because they want the pigs’ bellies full of rot. I don’t get that, but okay. Some zombies wander up and one of the guys, Benjamin, is learning how to kill them. He doesn’t quite get it, so Ezekiel finishes the zombie off. Morgan is told that no one back at The Kingdom needs to know about any of this. Ezekiel yells to the zombies that one day they will be released from the curse and in the meantime, they live in their place. I’m fascinated.

Back at The Kingdom, Ezekiel asks Morgan how he acquired his skills with the staff. Morgan says from a cheese-maker. Ezekiel says Benjamin’s path is in need of adjustment, and asks if Morgan will train him. Morgan says the staff could have saved the man he shot to save Carol. Ezekiel says like it saved Morgan. He needs Benjamin to live because he’ll be an important member of his staff. Morgan agrees, and Ezekiel says The Kingdom is favored by his presence again.

Carol sits in her room. Shiva suns herself and an acapella choir sings It’s All Right. Morgan shows Benjamin how to use the staff. Watching Benjamin reminds me of one of my martial arts workout DVDs. Carol wheels around the place, faking it, acting all nice to a guy and pretending to be over the moon about some cobbler. She pretends to tear up about how great the town is, and asks for a tissue. She steals some clothing when they guy has his back turned. She’s pissing me off.

Benjamin asks about Morgan’s book. Morgan tells him it’s philosophy. Benjamin says he’s read all the books there several times, and air conditioning manuals are boring. Morgan gives him the book. Ezekiel tells them they have matters of import to attend to.

He says the swine are slaughtered far from the kindgom. It’s a secret and secrets are burdens that come with a cost. A bunch of guys get out of cars and meet them. They belong to the Saviors (not to be confused with Emma and Aladdin in the previous show). Ezekiel says their arrangement is important. Oooh, I think I’m getting this. One of the guys says the pigs look bigger than last time, and Ezekiel’s man, Richard, says they were well fed. The man asks for help loading them into the truck. A woman starts to quietly tell Morgan they’re from another group, but Morgan says he knows who they are. Apparently, Ezekiel is trying to poison the Saviors or turn them into zombies.

The guys load the truck. One of the Saviors tells them they’ve gotten off easy. Richard says maybe he has it backwards. They start to fight. Guns are drawn. Ezekiel says to lower their weapons and tells Richard to let him go; this isn’t what they do. The guy gets in a few more punches until he’s made to stop. He’s a real a-hole. Ezekiel tells Richard they’ll discuss it. The Savior says it’s produce week next week, so they’d better produce or Richard is going first.

Ezekial asks if the man Morgan killed to save Carol was one of them. Morgan says yes, and asks if that’s why Ezekiel wanted him here, because he could do it again? Ezekiel says the opposite.

It’s movie night! Everyone is finishing up dinner and Benjamin and Morgan talk. Benjamin is raising a little boy. He says Ezekiel was tight with his father, who was a good fighter. He was sent out to clear a building, but there wasn’t enough back-up and eight men didn’t make it out. His father was one of them. He says Ezekiel is more careful now. He’s keeping his deal with the Saviors because they want to fight, but don’t want to lose people. Morgan asks if Benjamin agrees, but he says he doesn’t know enough to know.

Benjamin asks about an inscription in the book about not killing. Morgan says he didn’t write it, but it’s not about what he thinks. People can point you in the right direction, but can’t show you the way. You have to find that for yourself. He says he’s just fumbling through, and sometimes we change our minds. He leaves to talk to Carol.

Carol is gone. Good. She was no fun anyway. Morgan sits on the bed and smiles.

Carol limps around to the apple tree. Ezekiel tells her to help herself. The garden is his favorite place, and he’s glad she saw it before she left . She apologizes, but asks what good she is there. Ezekiel tells her to never bullsh*t a bullsh*tter. He says the sweet and innocent act is clever. Blend in, get people to trust her, get what she needs, and disappear. He says the gun she has belongs to the Saviors, and she did more than put up a fight – she won. She says by ending up here? and he asks if it’s funny. She tells him that this place is a joke, and out there it’s real. She says he’s selling people a fairy tale. He says maybe they need one. She asks if having his ass kissed is a perk.

Ezekiel sits with her. He says people want someone to follow; it’s human nature. They want someone to make them feel safe, and people who feel safe are less dangerous and more productive. They see a dude with a tiger and make him larger than life, a hero. Who is he to burst their bubble? They needed someone to follow, so he faked it until he made it. He was a zoo keeper and Shiva fell into a moat. There was no medical assistance, and she was hurt and going to bleed out. He knew the risk, but she was in pain, so he saved her life. After that she never even showed a tooth in his direction. She could do a lot of damage, but she hasn’t and won’t. He lost a lot like everyone else. When it started to end, he came back to the zoo. Shiva was alone, hungry, and trapped, like him. She was the last thing left in the world he loved. She protected him, got him here, and made him larger than life. He used to act in community theater and played some kings. He says his name is really Ezekiel though. Cards on the table, nothing up his sleeve, but appreciates it if she keeps it between them, at least for now.

Carol says she doesn’t care. Do what he wants. She’s going to go. He asks where? She says away. He says he’s sorry for whatever bad she’s been through. There’s too much of it out there. It feels like it’s all bad, especially when you’re alone, but it’s not all bad. Where there’s life, there’s hope, heroism, grace, and love. He hopes that she’s not walking away from life. He made his own world. He found a way to embrace the contradiction, by being over-the-top good. He says maybe he’s crazy, but maybe he can help if she lets him. She asks why he cares, and he says it makes him feel good. He says she can go or not go, see if he’s on to something or it’s more bullsh*t.

Morgan and Carol ride down a road. Morgan asks if she’s sure this is what she wants. She does. They stop at the house where Morgan was fixing the mailbox. He says she’s his favorite person he ever knocked down, or at least in the top two or three. He tells her to take care of herself. She says always watching, always ready. He gets back on his horse and she goes in the gate. He puts the mailbox flag down.

Carol sees the zombie in the house and goes inside brandishing her weapon. She buries the now dead zombie in the yard. She builds a fire and there’s a knock at the door. She hears the tiger. It’s Ezekiel with an apple. He tells her she has to try one. She gives him a real smile. Almost.

Next time, more Negan (sigh), Daryl gets shoved around, and Negan likes it that he doesn’t scare easy.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

It’s time for Melissa’s fashion show. Siggy and Dolores discuss Jacqueline in the car. Dolores thinks Jacqueline overreacted to her text. She’s been going around saying Dolores set her up to look like a no show.

Preparing for the show, Melissa feels abandoned, since her partner is in the Bahamas. She says she doesn’t know what she’s doing and didn’t sleep last night. The models practice their walks.

Jacqueline is on the couch hacking and coughing. She tells Chris that she wouldn’t have gone to the fashion show even if she wasn’t sick. Chris thinks that some of her friends aren’t really her friends. He thinks she should get to the bottom of why Dolores asked if she was coming to the fashion show when she knew Jacqueline was sick. Um…maybe she forgot or was just making conversation. The overreaction is trickling down.
The Wakiles and Teresa cross paths at the bar, and it’s awkward. In her interview, Teresa says she’s done with her cousins and there’s no confusion about that. She doesn’t wish anyone ill will, she just wants to be left alone. Joe #2 and Richie talk. Teresa tells Melissa she wants to be there for her, but she feels sad. It’s her first event without Joe #1.

Siggy and Dolores arrive. Dolores tells Kathy about calling Jacqueline and that Jacqueline is paranoid that she was being set up. I’m not getting this. Does Jacqueline think Dolores was trying to catch her in a lie about being sick? Kathy asks if Dolores is open to talking to Jacqueline, but Dolores says she’s too angry right now. She shows Kathy the text. Teresa joins them. She says she wishes Jacqueline the best, but she’s evil. Kathy insists she’s not.

Melissa gets the models ready. She’s nervous and gets a glass of wine. Teresa tells Siggy that she walked into something with Kathy and Dolores. Siggy says Jacqueline got weird with Dolores. In her interview, Teresa says Jacqueline is sweet at first, but then you get to know her.

Backstage, things are crazy. The music starts. The models begin to walk the runway. Melissa runs around like a nut, telling everyone they need to move faster. All of a sudden, no one is on stage and she doesn’t know what to do. Melissa starts to freak, but everything falls back into place. The clothes are really cute.

Melissa makes a speech, thanking everyone at Envy and her family. Joe #2 is proud of her. She turned a crumb into a cake. She talks about feeling a tug on her pillow the night before and no one being there, but she had “a feeling.” That morning, her mother reminded her that it was the anniversary of her father’s death and she feels like he’s there.

Siggy asks Melissa to lunch on Friday. She’s invited everyone because she wants closure. She says Jacqueline is fighting with Dolores now, and she wants everyone to say their peace without fighting and walk away like ladies. Good luck with that. In her interview, Siggy says she wants everyone to move forward and shut up. She’s hoping Jacqueline comes.

Dolores meets Frank for lunch. She tells him he said the kitchen would never get done and it happened. She adds that he won’t be getting a bill because she’s on a payment plan with the contractor. Frank is the best ex-husband in the world. Next to Bruce Willis. He jokes that she’s breaking up with him, and she says she’s just taking the pressure off. In her interview, Dolores says Frank is in another relationship, but they have a bond that can’t be broken. He feels concerned that she doesn’t want help anymore. She says he’s like a part of her, and it’s just the financial help she doesn’t need.

Frank tells Dolores that her father took him aside when the problems started, and said sh*t happens, but you never turn your back on your family and children, and he’ll always be a part of the family. She wants to get the check. He says he likes the new Dolores, but she tells him don’t get used to it.

Teresa’s lawyer, Jim, comes over. He says he’s gotten a few emails from Joe #1 and she says she missed his call because she was doing yoga. She’s getting certified and needs to put in a certain amount of hours. Jim asks about finances. Teresa says after they got married Joe did everything, but it’s going back to the way it was before that, and she might have to sell the house. She says the kids have been through enough, but she’ll do what it takes to keep things afloat, since Gia is almost college bound. She shows him a framed cover of her new book that the publisher sent. She has one of the last book, and says she’s definitely a different person now and proud of who she is. She can’t wait for Joe to get home. Jim says to never feel like she’s by herelf.

Dolores and her mother are doing some cooking. Siggy comes by, loud as ever, with her own mother, and all of them put together a meal. Siggy thinks their moms are too selfless and should do more for themselves. They sit down to eat, and she toasts to their mothers being wonderful. Siggy says she’ll always take care of her mother the way her mother has taken care of her, and Dolores says her too. Siggy tells them there has to be a way to get the friends back together, but Dolores doesn’t think so.

Melissa comes home to Joe #2 cooking dinner and roses on the table. He tells her to sit down. He’s made chicken cordon bleu. They talk about Melissa’s sales, which are thriving. In her interview, she’s afraid he wants her to scale back. He apologizes for saying she made crumbs where he made cake. He says he loves her and stands by her and he’s a lucky man. He brings out parfaits for dessert. She asks if they’re having cappuccino with candy sticks, and he says he got the kind she likes. She says she’d like his candy stick after dinner and he picks her up out of the chair. These two are so cute.

Siggy is bringing the girls together because she wants Vermont laid to rest. She’s having the lunch at a restaurant because she doesn’t want a repet performance in her house. She removes the knives from the table. She hasn’t heard from Jacqueline, so she doesn’t know if she’s coming, but she’s hired security. She tells some bald guy in a black jacket what the score is.

Melissa tells Teresa that Jacqueline is super paranoid and doesn’t like them together. Teresa says she’s a cuckoo. Melissa is hoping for closure, but the most Teresa thinks she’s getting is a nice lunch.

Jacqueline shows up first. Siggy gets all teary. Jacqueline says she came for Siggy because she knows what it’s like to be in the middle. She says she said horrible things to Teresa in Vermont. She claims Melissa didn’t like her and Teresa being friends. She says she couldn’t even sit down before everyone tried to talk for each other. In her interview, Jacqueline says she wants to make it more comfortable for everyone and is glad to explain where she was coming from. Whatever that insane place might be. Siggy says Dolores loves her. Jacqueline says she knows Dolores explodes, but then gets over it. She wants to get to the bottom of the animosity with Teresa, but has no interest in Melissa.

Dolores joins them and Siggy starts crying again. What is wrong with her? Dolores apologizes to Jacqueline. Jacqueline gives some half-assed explanation about her paranoia. She says she knows Dolores’s heart. She wants to talk to Teresa and Melissa one on one. Siggy tells Jacqueline that Teresa was sincere, but Jacqueline wonders why she took the first opportunity to disband the friendship. This woman is so delusional. The first time she saw Teresa after she got home, she took the opportunity to be insulting, and she did all that finger-in-the-face stuff in Vermont.

The second Teresa and Melissa get in the room, Jacqueline demands that Teresa sit across from her and Melissa leave the room. She wants to talk one on one. She has a ride waiting if they refuse. She says it’s the way she likes to do things. Teresa says she doesn’t call the shots, and she says she is today. Teresa calls her “teacher,” and Jacqueline doesn’t like it. Teresa asks if Miss Teacher is better, and Jacqueline asks if bitch is better. Teresa asks if a word I’m not going to type is better. Jacqueline tells Melissa to leave the room again. Siggy says she’s giving them orders, and no one wants to be spoken to like a child. Teresa says she thinks Jacqueline is evil to the core. Jacqueline wants everyone to leave. I don’t think evil is the word I’d use, but she’s something abnormal. Dolores suggests everyone try something new and speak softly. Jacqueline asks if Teresa needs a back up, and Teresa says yes, she does. She wants everyone to see what’s going on. Joacqueline says call her when she can talk one on one (which will be never) and leaves. In the other room, Jacqueline apologizes to Dolores. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Teresa and Melissa animals. WTF?

Teresa says Jacqueline is a coward. Melissa says when Jacqueline is in a situation where she isn’t controlling things, it’s run, Forest, run. Agreed. Which is why I find her tagline so amusing. Teresa says she’s conniving and twisted. Siggy asks Dolores if she thinks Jacqueline handled things wrong. Dolores does, and they go out to find her. Jacqueline definitely sees them. The car slows down and she sticks her head out the door, but then they drive away. Why don’t they dump this chick?

Dolores says on a good day you don’t speak to an Italian like that. Teresa says Jacqueline wants them out of the room so no one else can tell her she’s wrong. Melissa says if you have nothing to hide, you don’t run. Teresa tells them that Jacqueline is dead to her. Melissa adds that she took off her mask. Dolores thinks no one was mentally prepared for the meeting. Huh?

Teresa says she’s been home three months and it feels like she never left. She thanks them for being supportive.

It’s the finale, so they have the little blurbs about what everyone is doing. It’s all boring. Until we get to Teresa – whose yoga partner is now Danielle Staub. I don’t even know what to say.

Next time, the reunion. Duck and run.