Tag Archives: Real Housewives of Atlanta

Jan10

January 9, 2017 – Who is GH’s Lady Boss, Vanderpump Slides into Summer House, Random Atlanta Thoughts & My Dogs’ Birthday

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kiki and Dillon are back in Port Charles, having never made it to LA. Dillon wants to celebrate the way they did New Year’s Eve, whatever that means, but Kiki wants to brush her teeth for an hour. It seems they were stuck in Detroit for quite a while, and had problems getting back.

Scotty meets with Franco at the dive bar. He says Franco has a good motive for killing Tom, and Franco thanks him for his support. Franco asks when the print test is coming back from the knife. Scotty wonders if Franco’s prints will be on it.

Laura tells Elizabeth that she had a great time skating with the kids. Doc twisted his ankle while showing off though. She says the boys were amused, but also couldn’t stop taking about Franco.

Franco tells Scotty that Tom could have taken the knife, but even if his own prints are on it, it doesn’t make him guilty.

Jason asks Buzz what the name of Winston’s boss is. He doesn’t know, and didn’t get a good look at her, but remembers her voice. She told Winston to kill the homeless loser who planted the bomb.

Omg, could it be Helena??? I’ve never believed for a moment that she’s really dead. I don’t think Nicholas is really dead either. We haven’t seen the boss’s face yet, but she’s dressed in a kimono, wearing a lot of jewelry, and those don’t look like young hands. Winston tells the boss that Jason has found the homeless man.

Alexis can’t find her vodka and freaks. Julian shows her the empty bottles. He says he emptied everything out, including what she had hidden in the laundry room. She tells him he had no right to do that, but he says he’s trying to stop her from killing herself or someone else.

Kiki tells Dillon that Franco isn’t home. She thinks a bath in disinfectant followed by a bleach shower would be great, and then lots of food. They talk about what happened on the bus, and Dillon asks if the kiss changed anything.

Buzz wants to jet, and asks “Father Curtis” for a special blessing. Curtis asks about the woman’s voice, and Jason asks him to repeat what he told them. Buzz says that he realized Winston had lied, and that he didn’t plant a GPS, but a bomb that killed an innocent kid – Sonny’s kid. He realized his life was over, and went to the pawn shop to confront Winston. Curtis wonders how he got in and out with no notice, when it’s under surveillance 24/7.

Julian tells Alexis he loves her too much to allow her to ruin her life. He says she’s going to drink herself to death or have another accident, and asks how she’d feel if she killed an innocent stranger. She flashes back to struggling with Tom in the alleyway. Julian asks what’s wrong.

Scotty tells Franco that the police are going to build a case and arrest him, and what they need is an alibi. Franco is annoyed that Scotty isn’t believing him, but Scotty says it’s like the chicken or the egg, and wants to know what Franco was doing that night.

Elizabeth tells Laura that she heard about Charlotte being her granddaughter. Laura says as far as Lulu is concerned, the custody hearing can’t happen fast enough. Elizabeth says if she needs any help, to let her know. Laura says the boys seem convinced that Franco is going to be a big part of their lives, but she’s not getting the same vibe from Elizabeth.

Alexis tells Julian that she’s not staying while he stages a one-man intervention. Julian tells her she’s making a mistake.

Winston promises the boss that he’ll find Buzz, and says that if Buzz was going to the police, he would have done it already. He tells her that he has more bad news.

Buzz tells Jason and Curtis that he can’t reveal anything, but Curtis promises they won’t rat him out. Buzz tells them there’s a network of catacombs under Port Charles, and that’s how he gets in and out of the pawn shop without anyone seeing. He says Winston and the boss have a secret office in the tunnels.

Alexis asks if Julian is going to hold a knife to her throat to stop her. She says he’ll have to catch her first, and she’s pretty sure she can outrun a guy with a cane. He says she’s why he’s using the cane in the first place. D’oh! He asks her to just go twelve hours without a drink. She calls an Uber.

Elizabeth asks if Laura judges her, but Laura says that everyone is capable of doing good or harm, and good people can make wrong choices. She says everyone deserves a second chance, even Franco. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know the whole story.

Franco tells Scotty he was locked in a metal dog crate. Immediately Scotty thinks he and Elizabeth were getting freaky, but Franco explains that Tom put him there. Franco says it makes sense, since he put Tom in first. Now Scotty is going to think it’s even more freaky. Ha-ha!

Dillon tells Kiki if it was just a New Year’s Eve kiss, that’s cool. Kiki tells him that when he was sleeping, she started to think about her life. She’ll always feel guilty for Morgan’s death, but she can focus on it or turn it into something useful. She could volunteer at the hospital or go back to school and help people with mental issues. Dillon says Morgan would like that. Kiki still wants to shower, and says Dillon could order food while she’s in there. He suggests they shower together to save water, but that’s a no.

Winston tells the boss lady that Jason and Sam have become suspicious. The boss spills hot tea on him. Purposely.

Jason offers to set Buzz up out of town. Curtis says he has a friend in Baltimore and will let him know Buzz is coming, and Jason gives him some money to get there. Buzz tells them to watch their step; these people aren’t messing around. He leaves, and Jason asks Sam what she found out. She says Julian lied, telling her that he just buys stuff from Winston, but she could tell he’s scared. She also believes he has nothing to do with the car bomb.

Alexis tells Julian that he isn’t the worst part of her day. He tells her that she’s become dependent on alcohol or she’d take his challenge. He asks her to do it for her children and herself, for the career she wants back and her self-respect. She says he took her self-respect from her. He agrees, and says if she’s broken, he understands it’s his fault and that her only comfort is in a bottle. He says he owes it to her to save her life. She says save her or kill her, pick one. He says she has a lot to process right now, and she tells him not to patronize her. He says he’s not, but understands wanting to block the rest of the world out. Alexis flashes back to Tom again. She struggles with him and he throws her down. He tells her if she does it again, she’s dead, and pulls out the knife. In the present, Alexis goes to the door, and Julian says if she leaves he’s staging a real intervention.

Elizabeth tells Laura about Tom’s parole and how the police suspect Franco of his murder.

Scotty tells Franco it’s false imprisonment. Franco says he was just keeping Tom until after his parole meeting. Scotty says that’s OCD thinking, and Franco says he came to his senses, but then Tom turned the tables on him. Scotty says he believes him, but his alibi could put him in prison. Franco says his only hope is finding the real killer. He tells Scotty what the bartender told him. Scotty wonders if he greases the bartender more, if he’d talk more. Scotty says he has bupkis, but Franco says he also ran into Alexis at the bar.

Sam tells Jason and Curtis that Julian seemed genuinely scared of Winston, and she thinks he’s afraid for them. She thinks Julian was the target, and Winston was responsible for Morgan’s death. They wonder who the boss is.

Winston is like it’s all good, and tells lady boss that he’ll take care of Jason.

Alexis dismisses the Uber and goes back in. She tells Julian that her friends and family would never listen to him. He asks why she didn’t leave then. She says Sam is pregnant and it would stress her out, but Julian says it’s more stressful to have a drunk as a mother. He tells her that it’s only a matter of time before they find out. He says she’s lost her license and isolated herself; how long before she has nobody? Alexis says he should know. Julian wishes she could be the independent woman he fell in love with. He says she’s so desperate, she can’t help herself, much less anyone else. She says he wants her to be drunk so he can keep control. He tells her that she’s not just losing the people she knows, but the entire world; all the people she’s helped or would be able to help will be deprived of their champion.

Franco tells Scotty that Alexis made up an excuse for being at the bar, but she was beyond nervous. Scotty says she’s been off since Julian’s trial, and they need to find out who the woman was who Tom was drinking with. Franco asks to borrow Scotty’s tablet, and they have an amusing conversation about Facebook. Scotty gets an alert that the fingerprint analysis is back.

Jason asks if Julian mentioned who Winston might be working for, but Sam says no, and reiterates that he seemed scared. Curtis and Jason decide to go to the pawn shop via the tunnels. Sam Is hesitant, but Jason says that now she and the kids are in danger, and Curtis says if they’re smart, they won’t be risking their lives.

Kiki and Dillon chow down on Italian, Mexican and Chinese food. They kiss. Geez, I didn’t even get a warning.

Elizabeth tells Laura that maybe she’s being naïve, but she believes Franco. Even if he didn’t kill Tom though, he carried out his own brand of justice. She says he fixed it, but Tom turned up dead. Laura asks if she can live with what Franco did do. Elizabeth says she can, but he’s pulled away. Until the real murderer is found, he wants to keep his distance. Her heart wants to stay by his side, but her head says that’s crazy. Laura says they’re all flawed people and only she can decide if the good in Franco outweighs the bad.

There are no fingerprints on the knife. Franco says that doesn’t exactly clear him, but seems more upset that Scotty hasn’t friended him. Franco suggests he look for the hashtag of the roadhouse, thinking there might be photos that include Tom and the mystery woman.

Julian has gotten a load of DVDs and food to distract Alexis. He hands her a knife, and she flashes back again. She tells Tom that he isn’t the first guy who’s held a knife to her throat, and gets the knife from him, saying he messed with the wrong person. Back at the house, Alexis freaks out, saying she needs a drink. Julian asks what’s wrong, and she wails about what she’s done.

Curtis and Jason lurk around the tunnels and open a door.

There’s a knock at Kiki’s door, and she thinks it must be dessert. Instead, it’s Elizabeth looking for Franco. Kiki says she just got in, but he’s not there. She says she’ll tell Franco that Elizabeth came by, but Elizabeth wants to surprise him. When she’s gone, Dillon tells Kiki that it’s the same dance they’ve been doing for months, and it’s the fear of jumping into a relationship. He says they should wait for what happens next; no pressure.

Scotty can’t find any pictures from December 21st. He thinks they should wait and find another server who might know something. Franco sees a picture where Tom and Alexis are sitting together at a booth in the background.

Alexis tells Julian that she was outside of the roadhouse. She was drunk and did something. She killed someone.

Tomorrow, Diane asks Sonny what he knows, a fire starts in the tunnels, and Alexis confesses to Julian.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh, I get it. The reason there’s a two-hour show on tonight is because they’re introducing Stassi’s new one, Summer House. It looks like they’ll probably slide into it the way they did with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills slipping into Vanderpump Rules with the latter’s first episode.

Stassi is amazed that she’s not hung over and feeling “chipper.” Who uses that word? Maybe Kathy Gifford. Stassi and Katie discuss the night before. In her interview, Stassi says she’s not ready for another relationship, but wouldn’t mind a guy to distract her from the breakup with Patrick, who she was with for two years. They talk about how to approach a new guy.

Meanwhile, at Sonoma Raceway, the RV is starting to smell on day two. Ariana says they’re barely clinging to their humanity. Geez, two days out of LA and it’s Lord of the Flies. Brittany tells Jax that he’s making her insane. How this is different from their everyday life, I’m not sure. In his interview, Schwartz says that Jax and Brittany need a time out. He tries to take pix of Jax while he’s in the shower. Tom suggests that Jax might want to stop picking on Brittany before he finds himself single again.

In her interview, Kristen says she’s heard that Montauk is WASP-y, and since wasps suck, she hopes Montauk doesn’t suck. She’s not joking either. Is LA this out of touch with the rest of the world, or is she really this stupid? Stassi has to look up clambake, so they understand the difference between that and a luau. I repeat my previous question. Scheana asks what if they don’t like clams, and is told to take one for the team.

Ariana’s group is ready for the NASCAR race, and Tom gets some autographs. The only racing guy I know is Jeff Gordon, but I don’t think he even races anymore. Schwartz takes a poll as to which of the girls are willing to flash their boobs, and Jax points out for the billionth time that he paid for Brittany’s. Ariana suggests she find a new boyfriend. That’s got my vote.

Stassi and Katie lounge on the porch, and Stassi says they look like an old married couple. Katie has gotten some texts from Lisa and gives her a call. Lisa gives Katie a list of things that they need to work on, but tells her they can meet when Katie gets back. Katie is a little annoyed that Lisa didn’t wish her a happy birthday. Well, Lisa is at work.

Tom and Ariana kiss on the Ferris Wheel, while Jax harasses them. Ariana says it’s the best trip ever, and too bad for Lala who couldn’t be bothered to make it.

The clambake happens, but it’s not like the one in Oklahoma! There are linens on the table, everyone is dressed like they’re going not to the beach, and they’re sipping white wine. Stassi is glad for the well-dressed, attractive men who aren’t like the ones she met at the bar last night. Scheana informs everyone that she doesn’t really eat fish, but it doesn’t matter because someone just brought out a magnum of rosé. Everyone wonders how to eat a lobster. Some guy takes a selfie with a lobster. In her interview, Scheana says she’s not eating anything with claws because a cat has claws, and she wouldn’t eat a cat. Sigh…  Stassi is embarrassed about Scheana’s whining. I’m embarrassed about Scheana period.

Ariana and company watch the race. They have VIP tickets, so the view is pretty good. I’d call it a bird’s-eye view, but that sounds like the one I had at the Elton John concert in 1970whatever, when I had to sit in mountain goat territory. Tom calls to get the toilet tank flushed out and the guys sing a song about saving poop, making me eternally glad that I don’t know these people. Schwartz thinks it’s Jax’s fault for his excessive use of toilet paper. In her interview, Brittany says Jax needs to grow up and respect her. Good luck with that. And for those who don’t know this, when I say that, what I really mean is, all the luck in the world won’t save you.

Small talk is made at the clambake. Somebody gets nosy, asking Stassi about her breakup, but she really doesn’t want to cry. In her interview, she says it’s extra hard because her family and friends like Patrick, and she usually dates a-holes. Katie thinks Stassi needs some tough love, even if it’s just going to second base. Stassi thinks they should have perhaps gotten real careers. One of the guys makes fun of her for being on a dating app, although I’m not sure why. Isn’t that how people date now? They toast to being in Montauk.

If I have to see Jax’s butt crack one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind. The group goes out to eat, and I am loving Ariana’s earrings. They’re huge crescents with leaf-shaped rhinestones in various shades of green attached to them. Tom calls Jax an a-hole, and asks Brittany how she feels about him ordering her around, but he says he supports her lifestyle and no one can tell him how to deal with his relationship. Tom tells him gifts aren’t leverage. Jax thinks he’d love being in Brittany’s place. I guess he must like being embarrassed. Brittany is feeling stupid, but Tom tells her nothing Jax says is making her look bad. In his interview, Jax says when he started dating Brittany, he loved that she wasn’t from LA, but she seems to be adapting and he doesn’t like it. Hmm… By that, I assume he means she has independent thoughts. To be honest, I get what he’s saying about supporting her. When one person is paying all the bills, the other one needs to pinch in the other departments like cleaning and cooking, but it’s his delivery that’s obnoxious, and it doesn’t mean you can demand whatever whenever. He might need to learn the hard way that his POV is not acceptable.

Ariana tells everyone that Lala isn’t following her on social media anymore, and wonders why she’s being iced out. She says she can be a bitch too and unfollows Lala. Oh. Horrors. Schwartz says a line has been drawn in the sand. Not one episode of this show goes by without me thinking about how much more mature my friends and I were at this age. Is technology the problem? All of the above?

In her interview, Lala talks about herself in the third person, and says she was in shut-down mode. Harrison! Lisa tells Lala she can do what she wants with her time off, but she doesn’t get why Lala didn’t show up for Ariana’s birthday. Lala makes noises about Jax being irritating, although she knew that before. Lisa reads my mind and wonders why Lala said she’d go in the first place. Lala starts to cry, telling Lisa that everyone is saying she’s a homewrecker. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t know if it’s true – she hopes not – but Lala should have more respect for herself. Lala says she makes stuff up about her boyfriend to get them off her back and give them something to talk about. One day she’s dating the pope and the next, a baseball player. She thinks of it as an acting exercise. Lisa explains that when someone is caught in a lie, no one knows how much to invest in them. In her interview, Lisa says Lala likes to create a situation, but then act like a baby girl, and life doesn’t work like that. Lala says she thinks it might be best for her to walk away from “this workplace.” Because actually telling the truth and dealing with real life is too hard.

Lisa asks what’s wrong with her, and thinks she should grow up and deal with it. Thank you, Lisa the Amazing Kreskin of Beverly Hills. She asks if Lala thinks everyone is going to be her friend if she ends up being successful in films. Lala admits that she’s in charge of her own emotions. Lisa tells Lala that if she quits, she’s going to give a lot of people satisfaction. Lala wishes they’d had this conversation a while ago, and Lisa thinks Lala should have had this conversation with her mother long ago. In her interview, Lala says that Lisa makes sense and decides not to quit yet.

Stassi’s name has to be explained to empty-headed, but good-looking Kyle. The girls visit the twins’ rental house. They claim it’s like going to Lisa’s, but hardly. It’s big, but could probably fit in Lisa’s bathroom. Everyone gets a drink and the twins (Ashley and Lauren) show them around. In her interview, Kristen says maybe she’s in the wrong business. Maybe she should be in…business. I’m not kidding. She really said that. Kyle drinks directly from the blender, and tells Carl that he likes Stassi.

Ariana and Brittany rehash Jax’s remarks. Ariana has to explain what misogynistic means to Brittany. The absolute definition is Jax. The guys build a fire outside, and Ariana asks Brittany what she’s going to do if Jax doesn’t change.

Commercial break. Giggy! RHOBH looks really good this week. Game night, including Kim Richards. Duck, run, and then look through your fingers like it’s a horror film.

It’s time to get in the pool in Montauk. Along with more drinking. Ashley lets Stassi know that Kyle is interested in her.

In Sonoma, Jax asks Brittany if she’s having fun. She tells him that she is, other than his ‘tude, which she doesn’t appreciate, but he thinks she’s exaggerating. In his interview, he says he pays for everything, so it would be nice to have lunch ready sometimes. Brittany tells him that she’s tired of him holding her boob job over her head, and says she does a lot for him too. She says she appreciates what he does for her, but that doesn’t mean he can just do or say whatever he wants. He says he’ll try harder, but the occasional turkey sandwich would be nice.

Kyle is pretty sh*tfaced, and tells Stassi he appreciates her New York fashion. She’s wearing a white bathing suit that has a turtleneck type collar, and her hair in an Audrey Hepburn updo. Katie says Stassi should ask herself what would Lala do? More drinks happen in the kitchen. Tequila Katie arrives (i.e. Katie’s other personality when she drinks too much). Scheana worries that Schwartz isn’t there to put Tequila Katie in her place. Whatever that means. Lots of confusing statements today.

Kyle and Stassi are still in the pool. He tells her that she’s “well put together.” He asks if she’s single, and she says for about a week. He suggests they embrace it. We flash back to how very much liquor this dude has put away. He asks Stassi what her name is again. He says something about her being female and hot, but a turtleneck and Steve Jobs are involved. I have no idea where this conversation is going. Stassi wants to give him lessons on how to make a girl feel special, one of which is not telling them they’re like Steve Jobs in a turtleneck. He says something about her nipple and it all goes south quickly.

Everyone gets back in the pool, and there are too many people to keep track of. Stassi tells the girls that she’s never been more turned off by anyone in her life. Kyle shoves chips in his mouth. The twins say he’s a good guy, but an idiot when he’s drunk. Stassi says he made her want to call her ex. Well, that certainly backfired. Kyle jumps into the pool.

Everyone goes back inside, and Kristen tries to find out what the blip Kyle said to Stassi. One of the other guys explains that when Kyle drinks, he does slow moves and a lot of pointing, like a Ken doll doing tai chi under water. Kyle apologizes to Stassi, and she basically calls him a douche. She suggests he remember a girl’s name if he wants to get lucky. She asks him what her name is, and he can’t come up with it. The SUR girls go back to their own place. Kyle says even though he struck out, he’s learned that after 12 glasses of rosé, he should probably STFU. No argument from me. He eats watermelon alone in the kitchen.

Omg! Omg! An infinity pool! I want to swim in one so badly. The next day, everyone wakes up with a hangover, and some of them have to drive home because they have “real” jobs. As opposed to Steve Jobs. We seem to have swung into the next show.

Blah-blah-blah, NYC, hot and smelly in the summer.

⛱ Obviously, my jury is still out on Summer House, but I have the feeling that my opinion is going to be, meh, and a waste of time. I already think Kyle is a total d-bag and when Stassi is the best thing about a show, that’s just sad. I’ll be watching, but not so sure I’ll be recapping.

Okay, after watching almost the entire first episode, the whole thing is just sad. And no permanent Stassi. Just the twins, that moron Kyle, and whoever else the other interchangeable people are. Unless some Vanderpump fixtures join the cast, this is going to be a if-there’s-nothing-better-on show.

🌃 The good news is, Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce begins it’s new season on Wednesday, January 11, at 10 pm. This is also the birthday of six of my dogs, who will be ten this year!

Juliet&HerBabies

👠 Just some thoughts on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I feel sad that Kenya’s relationship with Matt ultimately didn’t work out, but better to find out what he’s like now. Phaedra, wtf, talking so much smack about Kandi? And here comes Porsha to add her own definition of things by telling Kandi she’s becoming “unleashed” about it. Um…I think the word is unhinged. Alhtough I’m not sure why I always expect more from someone who thought the Underground Railroad was a real railroad.

Sheree continues to tease Bob, meeting him for some kind of extreme workout that neither one of them could seem to accomplish. Cynthia graciously went to an event of Peter’s, and he described her as looking like “an ice cream cone,” driving him crazy with her va-va-voom. As much as I can’t stand Peter, I had to agree with him. She looked like she’d been poured into a gorgeous white dress, and totally delicious! Unfortunately, Kenya was also attending, and Matt ambushed her, punching her driver and then taking off. Not cool. Next week, it doesn’t look much better, with Matt busting out some windows in Kenya’s new home. Looks like it’s restraining order time. In her interview, Kenya cried, saying what a shame it was when Matt had such potential. My heart broke for her. I like Kenya and I have every confidence that she’ll eventually find the right guy. But in the meantime, there’s those frogs to deal with.

And why do they advertise next week’s new episode when we’re not done with this week’s episode yet?

Nov21

November 20, 2016 – The Walking Dead Stands Alone, Except for a Short Visit from Atlanta

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Because the American Music Awards eclipsed Once Upon a Time, and I’m just touching on the Atlanta Housewives for now, it’s mostly zombies tonight. The spellcheck at WordPress seems to have taken the evening off as well, so apologies for any typoooooz.

The Walking Dead

Dr. Carson is there when Maggie wakes up. She has some a condition placenta previa, resulting in a placenta separation that could have been caused by trauma. He says the baby seems fine, and we all listen to the heartbeat. The doctor tells her to take it easy for a few days, like she has to call in to work.

Maggie asks Sasha where “they” are and Sasha shows her two fresh graves. She gives Maggie a pocket watch that was Glenn’s. She says all Abe had was a cigar. Maggie leaves the watch on the makeshift headstone pile of rocks, instead of saving it for their child like a normal person would. Sasha tells Maggie she’s going to be okay, and they’re both staying until the baby is born.

Jesus has cleaned up well, so I guess they have showers at Hilltop. He brings some flowers to the graves. Gregory accosts Maggie about Negan. He wants her to leave, but she says the doctor told her to stay. Gregory seems seriously out of touch, and Jesus tries to explain who the two women are. Gregory tells him that Maggie said her group could keep them safe from the Saviors, but so far she’s only put them in danger. He says plausible deniability is their way out. Jesus says it will be dark soon and Gregory says they can stay for the night. Sasha says Maggie is pregnant and Gregory says that’s her mistake. Geez. Jesus tells them he’ll take them back in the morning.

Rick wants to go on a supply run since the Saviors are coming back soon. Carl asks if this is how it’s going to be now, and Rick says yes. Rick gives Michonne a radio and says if she changes her mind, they’re headed North. They kiss good-by.

Carl asks why Michonne didn’t go and she says she needs to figure some things out, like how they do this. Carl says Rick is wrong and she knows it. Michonne says even if she thinks he is, she doesn’t know for sure. She tells Carl to make sure to change his bandage and be nice to Olivia. She leaves. Presumably not to go with Rick.

Carl finds Enid climbing the wall. She’s walking to Hilltop. He says he’s not saving her any more. She says she’s sorry he had to see it, and he says he’s not. He walks away and she goes over the wall.

Jesus tells Sasha he’s glad she’s there. He says he’ll try to change Gregory’s mind, but he’s not a leader. Sasha says she’ll leave and scavage for Hilltop if they’ll keep Maggie. Jesus doesn’t want that, and she asks what he does want. He says he just tries to help where he can, and she tells him maybe he has to do more. He gives her Abraham’s necklace, saying that he liked Abe. He was the only person he knew who could say things that would make you smile and wince at the same time. Yeah, he was the only character with a sense of humor and they killed him off. Thanks, Walking Dead. 😕

Maggie comes in and Jesus says he’s sorry. He’s going to see what he can do. She asks why they burn their dead, and he tells her that the idea was to just keep going. He says he’ll see them in the morning.

Maggie asks now what? Sasha says they’ll stay. She wonders if Gregory is dangerous, but Maggie thinks it’s worse – he’s a coward.

Enid rides her bike toward Hilltop and almost gets attacked by a zombie, but a car runs it over. It’s Carl. A man true to his word. She asks why he’s there, and he says he was just going for a drive.

At Hilltop, everyone is asleep and loud music starts blasting from nowhere. Sasha sees the gates open and fires burning. She goes up to the roof. A bunch of zombies are walking through the gate. WTF?

Sasha calls to Jesus (no, not that Jesus), saying that Maggie needs help. Some of the guys come out. Jesus kicks ass. Sasha tries to get into the car that’s playing the music. It’s wrapped in chains, and the hatchback is sealed with a middle finger made out of metal. Gregory watches from a window. Sasha almost stabs Jesus by accident. He runs to close the gate, but here comes Maggie with a bulldozer. Why fool around? Squish, squash, kick, stab. Maggie rolls over the car, which hopefully isn’t a relative of Christine’s.

Carl and Enid walk down the road. Carl says he’s glad he saw what he did, so when he has a chance to kill Negan, he won’t hesitate. She says it’s how it is you do things for the ones you love, or loved. He says it’s not for love. He says he’s sorry he locked her in, and she says she didn’t need to see it. Enid says they don’t even know if Maggie is okay, and Carl says they’ll get there.

Jesus talks to Gregory, who tells him all this can be his if he sticks around and becomes a part of things. Wow. What incentive. Maggie and Sasha come in, and Gregory tells them they have to go. Jesus can’t believe he’s saying that after the save last night. Sasha says she’ll go; Maggie can stay and they’ll call it even. She asks how they can make this work, and Gregory says they could meet one on one (wink-wink). She tells him to go to hell. He cancels an order for preserves he was going to give them, like it matters, and I’m thinking forget coward, this dude is a nut.

A truck caravan is coming in. Gregory says Maggie and Sasha have to hide. He tells Jesus to put them in the closet. It’s the Saviors. Zzzzzz….. Sorry, but they’re such one-trick ponies.

Carl finds a backpack with roller skates in it. How fortuitous! He and Enid skate down the road. They hold hands. 16 Magazine readers go crazy.

Gregory opens the door and the Saviors walk in with Simon at the helm. This is so stupid. Gregory welcomes them to Hilltop and tells them to make themselves at home. Simon says it isn’t a social call; they need to talk. He wants to talk in the study and see some painting. Referring to Rick and company, Simon tells Gregory that the people he used to deal with have been removed from the field of play. Gregory acts ignorant.

Gregory tells Simon that the message was loud and clear. Now it’s Simon’s turn to act ignorant. They look at the painting. I looked this up and it’s Portrait of Charles V on Horseback by Anthony van Dyck. There doesn’t seem to be any meaning behind it though. Simon says the Saviors like to show management by example, and last night was them working their asses off to provide an example. He says people at Hilltop probably forget what the corpses look and smell like. He says they were going to come in for a save, but the Hilltoppers cleaned up the mess themselves – “good on ya.” He says since they picked up their skills from the Saviors, it was still their win. I had a boss like him once. Simon calls Gregory a team player, and says his people are spoiled. He refers to Rick’s group again, and says the Hilltoppers who associated with them are extremely dead, and the people who killed them work for Negan now and are real go-getters. Gregory says it’s a shame, but tell Negan that he understands the benefits in crossing the aisle, whatever that means. Simon says for now everything is as Negan wants, but thanks him for recognizing what they bring to the table. That’s why he’s still there while others aren’t. Simon asks if there’s anything else Gregory wants him to know. Uh-oh. Trick question.

Gregory comes out of his office with Simon. Jesus looks hard at them. It looks like Gregory is going to rat out Maggie and Sasha when he opens a locked closet, but the only thing inside is a case of Scotch. Simon says he hates Scotch – it tastes like ashtray and window cleaner – but Negan will love it. I hate it too, although I’d probably be more gracious in my description. No points for Gregory though, since Simon is going to say it’s from him. He takes the case, and tells his men to take half of whatever they have. And the painting. Simon asks Gregory if he can get a kneel out of him and I think he said “neon,” so I wonder wth? for a moment, and think he has neon signs as well as paintings. Simon tells Gregory it’s a solid kneel and remember it for next time. These guys are so boring. Where is Ezekiel when I need him?

Carl doesn’t think Negan is there, since he doesn’t see the truck. Enid tells him that she knows he wasn’t taking a drive, he was coming to get her. He asks her to come with him to kill Negan. She says it would be for them, not Abe, Glenn, or Maggie. She says asks how, but Carl says it wouldn’t matter. He kisses her forehead and then they start really kissing. Tween/teen Twitter accounts explode. Enid tells him he shouldn’t go, but she can’t stop him.

Jesus lets Maggie and Sasha out of a different closet. Gregory says he told Jesus the hallway closet, and Maggies says, yeah, so he could give them up. Jesus asks Gregory wants to let everyone know he works for the Saviors and lose his position. He says that Maggie and Sasha are staying, and they’ll be one big dysfunctional family. Gregory says he made progress today, and he’ll see them through it. He says the Saviors can be reasonable, and Maggie punches him. She takes the pocket watch from him. He tells her that he didn’t want it left out in the rain. Since he’s been calling her everything except what her actual name is, Maggie says he’s going to start calling her by her name now – Maggie Rhee.

Jesus talks to Maggie and Sasha about Gregory, saying that when he got there, Gregory was already in charge. He thinks it just happened, and it wasn’t because Gregory had any special skills. He apologizes for not talking to him sooner. Maggie leaves for the trailer. Sasha tells Jesus that if he wants to make it up to them, he can he find out where Negan lives. Jesus says that one of the trucks is going back soon, so sure. She asks him to keep it between them. He says that he doesn’t like not telling Maggie, and she says she doesn’t either.

Maggie sees Enid at the graves. Enid asks if Maggie is okay, and Maggie says she’s not. She says she won’t be either, and hugs Enid.

Enid says she heard Maggie killed some walkers and a car when she’s supposed to take it easy. Maggie says it wasn’t too hard she’s had practice. Sasha comes in surprised to see Enid. Sasha asks why balloons are on Abe’s grave, and Enid says there’s nothing marking it. Maggie tells Sashe that she was going to use the watch her father gave Glenn to mark his, but decided to give it to Enid instead. Enid asks if she doesn’t want to keep it to remember Glenn by, but Maggie says that they don’t need anyting to remember him by – they have themselves. Well, she also has a baby coming. Maggie says a prayer before they eat.

The Saviors load up the truck and the caravan leaves. Sasha sharpens her knife. Jesus sneaks into a truck and drinks some Scotch. As he’s pouring the remainder of the bottle out, he sees that Carl is in the truck with him. Hi, Carl! Tiger Beat readers go out of their minds.

Next time, Negan wants to bring civilization back to the world, and Rick says they have to do something. Biggest. Understatement. Ever.

What would Carl and Jesus do?

💋 Just brushing up against The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya went with Matt to his family reunion in Cincinnati. Even though she offered to pay for his first class plane ticket, Matt insisted on driving, feeling that it would be a bonding experience. An 8-hour car ride and Kenya agreed. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Porsha is looking for a baby daddy, frightening all of us. First of all, because she’s going to breed, and secondly that there might be someone out there who agrees with this cockamamie idea, and that’s who she’s going to breed with. She and Phaedra are the two phoniest phonies I’ve ever seen. If they had a full brain between them, they’d be dangerous.

It looks like Sheree might get back together with Bob, although he’s moving a bit fast for both of our tastes.

Next time, Phaedra sets up a game of drunk laser tag and Mama Joyce goes nuts. Both of those events should make it worth watching.

Nov15

November 14, 2016 – Sonny Unloads His Gun, Jax Spreads a Rumor & Kelly is the OC Reunion’s Target

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Oh no. The president is expected to speak in 15 minutes. Should I even bother? You know this will probably be a long one.

At the funeral, Sonny tells everyone that his son is gone and most of them blame him, but they can’t blame him more than he blames himself. Sonny says Morgan’s life wasn’t easy, and Morgan deserves to be at peace, but that can’t happen because of what he did. He knows how to make it happen though. He takes out his gun.

Nina is talking on the phone with Nathan. She says she has everything under control.

Valentin approaches Laura on her way into Windemere. He says he doesn’t have any keys and can’t find the caretaker.

Scotty joins Ava for a secret meeting. He’s annoyed that she picked a place that doesn’t serve alcohol. She says she’d expected him to carry a flask. He asks why she’s wearing black, and she says she’s thinking of going to Morgan’s funeral. Well, she’d best hurry up, since it’s pretty much over. Scotty says he knows she switched Morgan’s medication, but Sonny and Carly don’t. She says it’s only a matter of time before they do.

Sonny puts the gun down. He says violence smothered his son’s life. Morgan had a future in front of him, but he won’t have the chance to do what he wanted because of Sonny. Sonny wants to make it clear that no one except him is responsible and looks pointedly at Carly. Jordan interrupts, asking if he’s confessing. He says he has to get this out first. Jason approaches him and says this is a bad idea.

Sonny goes to Carly. He talks about her asking him to change and to stop the cycle of violence. He apologizes for breaking his promise and says now their beautiful boy lost his life. He tells Michael that what he said was right – Morgan always fogave. He tells Michael not to beat himself up. He’s the one who should have protected Morgan. He says he’d do anything to trade places with Morgan., so he could be sitting next to his mom in church. He says the only thing he can do is to take responsibility for his actions. He’ll be sorry the rest of his life, and do everything to atone for it.

He takes the bullets out of the gun. He holds out his hands and tells Dante to do what needs to be done.

Laura tells Valentin she’ll be gone before the day is out. He says he extended an olive branch, and she says he knows what he can do with it. Ha-ha! Feisty Laura. He tells her if she changes her mind she’s welcome to stay.

Nina says she loves her brother but he’s a worrier. We see she’s talking to Charlotte, who’s sitting on the floor in Nina’s office. Nina tells Charlot while Nathan is making plans, they’ll play. Charlotte wants to play paper dolls, and Nina says she can definitely make that happen.

Ava tells Scotty about what Lucy said. She’s concerned that if she makes a wrong move, Lucy will go running to Sonny. She says if Lucy brings the pills to Sonny and Carly, they’ll know she switched them. Scotty says he’d lay low. Ava says there’s no statute of limitations with Sonny, and if he finds out, she’s dead. She tells Scotty he knows what needs to be done. He says she needs a dye job and the first freighter to Cuba. She tells him that they have to get the pills.

Jordan says she’s not going to arrest Sonny here, but wants him to come in for questioning. Sonny, Jordan and Dante leave. Michael asks Carly if she’s okay. She says she’s fine and Sonny made his choice. What’s done is done.

Valentin says he can’t wait for Charlotte to move in with him. To get any new audience members and viewers with short term memory loss up to speed, Laura responds, “the house you stole from my son whom you killed.” Doc is at the door, and Valentin says welcome to my home. Doc wants to know how it’s his home. He says he’ll let Laura explain. It belongs to the Cassadines, but she’ll always have a place there.

Carly talks to Nell about the reception and tells her to cancel the room. She says she wanted justice for Morgan, but she’s not sure this is what she had in mind. Speaking of the funeral, was no one going to the cemetery? Or were they just going to keep the casket in the house? There was never any mention of burying it and several people left early.

Dante tells Sonny that he needs an attorney, but Sonny just wants it over with. Sonny goes into the interrogation room, and Jordan takes Dante aside.

Jason hands a cop some money and goes into the interrogation room by the other door. He tells Sonny that he’s making a mistake.

Well, ABC is going to cover the president. I may as well go back to looking at pics of that underwater restaurant in the Maldives that I will never be able to afford to go to.

Doc asks Laura how Valentin made a claim to the estate. Laura says it’s a long, sad, misogynistic story. She asks if he wants to help her pack. He says, let’s just get out of here. He tells her they can brainstorm on what she’s going to do next. She says she’s moving in with Dante and Lulu. Doc tells her that she’s welcome to stay with him.

Nina and Charlotte are getting along great. Charlotte makes a purple paper doll and Nina says purple is her favorite color. Valentin shows up with purple tulips. What a coincidence. He says he gets to sit with not just one, but two beautiful ladies.

Ava says Scotty knows Lucy’s sweet spots, and can distract her and get the pills. He asks what’s in it for him.

Kiki tells Dillon that she needs time to herself to sit with her feels and memories, and say good by to Morgan in her own way. She tells him she’ll see him later. She leaves. Nell does damage control on the phone. Bobbie asks Michael what he thinks of Nell. He thinks she’s great and she’s been supportive of Carly. Bobbie is like, hmmph!

Carly tells Jax she can’t believe Sonny confessed. Jax says Sonny doesn’t like violence, but has no problem using it, and doesn’t consider collateral damage. He says Sonny is smart, but he doesn’t think Sonny got it until today. Carly says what about Morgan’s brothers and sisters, and what about Avery? Ava will get full custody. Jax says it will hurt some people, but Sonny did the right thing. Today he took the first step in protecting his family

Jordan gives Dante the option to sit this out. Jason tells Sonny that Diane is on the way. Sonny says he’s making a full confession and will gladly go to prison. Jason says under no circumstances is he to confess to anything.

Yep, here it comes. The State of the Union. Sigh….

At least it’s only Monday.

Vanderpump Rules

The gang gathers in Lisa’s office. It’s World Dog Day and Lisa brings along Nappy, a little one-eyed terrier. Jax asks if there’s going to be alcohol. Lisa discovers that Kristen has gotten an invite. Brittany is ready to punch Jax for spreading rumors about her and Kristen. She tells Scheana that she doesn’t even want to be around him right now. Scheana thought that maybe since he’d been with Brittany, he was being more respectful, but she takes that back now. Scheana invites Brittany to stay at her apartment. Where’s Shay these days anyway?

Tom and Schwartz go for some much needed relaxing time at the spa. Yes, I’m being sarcastic. Do these people even work?

Katie visits Stassi. Stassi says it’s her first apartment where she isn’t living with someone or her father is paying for it. They talk about World Dog Day, which is going to be at the local dog park. Stassi says she tried working for Lisa once and it lasted four hours. We flash back, and she says it’s number four on the list of things she’s scared of. Katie is hoping that it doesn’t turn into the Hunger Games of bridesmaids when she has to choose.

Tom and Schwartz talk about the wedding plans. As Schwartz is talking about cutting corners. He doesn’t want a cake. I hope Katie plans a cake anyway. Seriously. WTF? Tom asks if he’s sure he wants to do this and thinks maybe Schwartz and Katie should get some pre-wedding therapy.

James takes Scheana aside at SUR. He says obviously the night didn’t go well, referring to the OK! Magazine party. He claims Scheana came at him, but she says he approached them and started insulting them about not working on their summer bodies. He apologizes and she suggests he apologize to Katie as well. Although she accepts his apology, in her interview, Scheana says she doesn’t buy it, and sure enough, in his interview, James says it’s bullsh*t.

Lala is having lunch with her mom, Lisa. Not that Lisa. She says she wishes she didn’t have to lean on her mom so much, and Lisa tells her that’s what moms are for. Lala says she thinks she’s turning into a vicious person and Lisa says that’s not her. Yes. It is. Lala says she doesn’t feel good about it after she’s mean, and her mom says it probably brings her back to being bullied herself. Lala says she knows there’s a family history of drinking problems (and problems with naming their children ridiculous things like Lala). She says she keeps it to a two drink minimum. Really? They must be pretty strong drinks. Or twenty ounce drinks. Lala rags on her co-workers, and Lisa says she has a tender heart, but a tough exterior, which makes perfect sense. Not.

Carter and Kristen are having dinner at their apartment. Kristen wants to invite some people over after the World Dog thing. Kristen is annoyed about the rumor that Jax is spreading. She says she and Brittany had a few wasted kisses, but she really doesn’t remember anything. 100% though, she didn’t do that.

The rumor about Kristen and Brittany is flying around everywhere. Even the cooks at SUR are discussing it. It’s like that part in Bye, Bye Birdie when everyone gets on the phone to talk about Hugo and Kim going steady. Scheana tells Lisa that it’s not right that Brittany is only there a couple of weeks and now everyone is giving her the side-eye. Lisa agrees that it’s really not fair. Brittany approaches Jax. She’s angry that he started this, and he tells her to get over it. She says it’s upsetting and he says he didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. In the interview, she says she knows he likes to make up things, but to do it to her is the worst. Jax says she’s making it more than it is, and she tells him she’s done, but I’m not sure with what.

Lisa asks Brittany if she’s okay. She says she knows what happened, and Brittany says she feels like he’s tarnishing her name. She tells Lisa what he said isn’t what happened. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t regret hiring Brittany, but she sometimes regrets not firing Jax. Brittany starts to cry, and Lisa tells her to stay strong. Chin up and all that.

In the morning, Scheana asks Brittany if she’s going to kick Jax’s ass. Hey, there’s Shay! Brittany goes home and loves on the dog. Jax is still in bed and tells her he’s sleeping. He says she’s the one who’s keeping the story going, and she says it’s about her. She tells him that he exaggerated hugely, and she doesn’t understand why he’d talk about her this way. He gets loud and says everyone is wrong. She asks why he said it, and he says because it happened. She says it didn’t happen, and if he’s sorry, he needs to act like it. Ditch that guy already, Brittany. You have a job. Two jobs. You don’t need him as a third.

Katie explains how she’s going to do a bridesmaids reveal to Schwartz. She tells him about how much the photographer costs, and he thinks maybe she should keep him in the dark. In her interview, she says she usually likes that he’s a cheapskate, but not this time. Their venue is called the 20 Miles House. She says it’s going to be everything and more. I tend to agree. It’s a huge old house out in the middle of a beautiful nowhere. The whole thing will be about 18K and they require a 5K deposit. August 17 is the date – it’s a Wednesday and cheaper. When that deed is done, Schwartz tells her that they should probably get a prenup. He says it’s like health insurance, you hope you won’t need it, but it’s a precautionary measure. Katie says unless he’s sitting on a trust fund she doesn’t know about, all he has are massive amounts of sweat pants and action figures. She agrees and he gets turned on by her sensibility.

James meditates on the balcony of his apartment. There’s a knock at the door and he skates over. It’s Lala. He shows her around his new place. He has a roommate, who’s renting him some space in his penthouse. He’s released both Pump Sessions and the single he did with Lala, and also released a video. He says if he stays focused, his dreams can take off. Lala tells him to stay on track and not let people throw him off.

World Dog Day is here! Katie has donation buckets and raffle tickets for the group to take around. Brittany says it’s going to be hard to get through the day with Jax. She feels like whenever she talks to someone, they’re thinking about what he told everyone. Lisa arrives and marvels at all the fabulous dogs. One of the managers tells Lisa about James being stupid at PUMP, and how some guy put him in a headlock. James is telling Tom his version of what happened, and says people attack him because they’re jealous. Okay. In her interview, Lisa says if James is at fault, she’s going to let him go. In his interview, James says he’s young and good-looking and people are jealous of him. I believe it if you believe it. He’s half right anyway. I’m not into crossed eyes and a scrawny frame.

James tries to apologize to Katie. She says he acts like an a-hole, apologizes, and then laughs about the person falling for it. He says they have their differences, but he’s trying to say sorry. She says she’s never done anything to him, and he’s a horrible person, adding that he should just mind his own business from now on and she’ll mind hers. He is truly a nasty piece of work. And Katie is far from fat.

The donations pour in. The dogs do an obstacle course. Kyle Richards comes by. Kristen brings Carter. Stassi wonders if there’s alcohol. Lisa says she loves dogs and everyone knows how she feels about bitches, referring to Stassi and Kristen. Lisa confronts James about the incident at PUMP, and James tries to defend himself, acting like everyone is just out to get him and he’s not really an idiot. Doggy yoga starts at two.

Stassi goes over to talk to Lisa, saying she’s going to disarm her with her pups. She has two tiny dogs that are very cute, and one is wearing a tiny hat. Kristen is with her, and Lisa alludes to the rumor, enjoying that she’s making Kristen uncomfortable.

Jax talks to Schwartz about the wedding. Schwartz says he’s excited, and Jax thinks he’s just saying that. Jax talks about the week long argument he’s been having with Britney. She thinks it’s more than just a silly rumor and because he’s betrayed her trust so much, it’s turned into something else.

Lisa makes a speech. She talks about the Yulan Dog Festival, and tells everyone to say no to the dog meat trade and celebrate their furry friends. She feels the event has been a success. Everyone who was invited has shown up and then some.

Kristen says Brittany is the best thing that’s ever happened to Jax, and he’s ruining it. She tells Jax that he has an awesome girlfriend and he’s messing it up. He acts like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She says a drunk kiss isn’t having sex. He says it’s his relationship and his problem. Kristen says he’s pulling a Jax, and to just stop screwing people over that care about him. In his interview, Jax says Kristen wins, but they’ll always know what really happened. Kristen tells him not to hurt Brittany.

Next time, Katie picks her bridesmaids, Schwarz has a dinner and embarrasses Tom, and James gets fired…maybe.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion Part Two

We’re so bored with this stuff, they show us some behind-the-scenes scenes. Andy shows clips of the moments when the OC ladies got down and dirty in more ways than one. We flash back to some of the funny stuff, like milking the cows and explaining wet dreams to their children. A viewer asks if Vicki got her nipples fixed yet, but she isn’t saying.

Andy talks about new beginnings for Shannon. We flash back to the vow renewal and the move. This is counteracted by scenes from the party where David’s mother talked trash about Shannon. A viewer asks if the vow renewal changed things for her. Shannon says David’s emotion was heart warming. Shannon disagrees with any comparison to Vicki and Don. Vicki says Don thought their vow renewal was good for TV, while she thought differently. Shannon starts getting loud, and Vicki says in retrospect, she wouldn’t have put it on the show.

Andy asks if Shannon and David made a sex tape on their second honeymoon, and I tell him thanks a lot for that visual. He then goes around the room with the question. He asks Shannon if she thinks what her MIL did at the party was premeditated. She says yes, and hasn’t spoken to her since. Andy pretends that Grandma Donna is coming out, but everyone is used to his fake-outs now.

A viewer says that it was classic Tamra sh*t stirring for her to tell Shannon what Donna was saying. Tamra says she didn’t know Shannon was going to react that way. Heather speaks for her, saying Tamra wouldn’t have done it if she’d known how Shannon was going to react. Andy questions Vicki about how she said she felt sorry for David, and Vicki says you never forget about an affair, and always question what you lacked because it happened. Tamra says she would never be able to get over it. Well, look out, because Eddie is pretty good-looking and you can be a real shrew.

Shannon says she’s not the reason David had an affair, he is. She says they weren’t happy at the time, but there were other things going on in his life. Andy asks about the other woman and Shannon says she renewed her football tickets in front of them (they sit ten rows apart), but other than the one altercation in the beginning, there’s been no contact. Andy asks how things re going now, and Shannon says great; their marriage is solid.

Andy brings up how often Shannon says “are you kidding me?” Each woman’s over-used phrase or word is presented: for Heather, it’s by the way; Kelly, of course; Tamra, God/Jesus; Vicki, whoop it up; and Meghan, sperm. We see clips of them all saying these things a thousand times.

We move on to Heather calling Terry out on being an absentee father. We see clips of their vacation, Terry working too much, Heather discussing it with him, and ending with Terry saying he’s going to be a better dad. A viewer asks how much the new house cost. Heather says numbers aren’t relevant. When she won’t tell them, Andy asks Kelly, who says twenty million plus. A viewer asks if Heather’s life is so perfect that she really doesn’t have problems. She says right now it’s good, but it’s ridiculous to think there are never any problems.

Briana joins us straight from the night shift at the hospital. She and Vicki talk about how great their relationship is now that Brooks is gone. Briana says it’s good to be back in the OC. We flash back to Vicki getting her the hell out of Oklahoma, followed by clips of Vicki leading the single life for two minutes, and then meeting Steve. They’ve been dating for seven months now. She says her love tank is over-filled, and Briana thinks he’s amazing. He’s never seen the show, and Vicki says one of the qualities she wanted in a man was that he didn’t know her from TV. For whatever reason, when Steve sent Vicki flowers, Heather thought Vikci had sent the flowers to herself, writing about it in her blog. Vicki tells Heather that she took some of the pleasure out of it and Heather rolls her eyes, because when she does something nasty, it’s okay. Andy asks Tamra what she thinks of him, like this matters. A viewer asks why Vicki needs a man to be happy. She claims she doesn’t and is cool being alone, but Briana is like, no, and the rest of us agree.

We move on to Briana’s medical issues. She says while she was getting tests, she found out she had Lupus. A viewer asks if Vicki bribed Briana with the house. Briana jokes that it was a good bribe, but no. She says that just because her mother helps her, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t work hard, and people don’t realize that. Shannon gets called on the carpet for saying that Vicki bribed her, and she apologizes, because it’s sincere when it comes from her.

Since we can’t get away from it, they talk about Brooks some more. Apparently, there’s been some problems regarding integrity and the cancer charity Vicki was involved with, and the website has been taken down. Everyone puts in their two cents, and it actually doesn’t sound like Vicki did anything wrong, and there was some kind of opt-in if you wanted emails about insurance. They were also giving out some kind of bracelets and I laugh when Heather demands to know if people can get a bracelet without putting in their information. No, Heather, they just guess at what address they should send the bracelet. When Vicki points this out, more nicely than I just did, Heather isn’t sure how to react because she’s so obviously acting like a moron.

Before an argument can start, Andy thanks Briana for coming. Tamra follows her out. Tamra tries to talk to Briana about Kelly, saying Vicki traded Brooks for Kelly. Briana says Vicki needs someone in her corner. For the love of Jesus that you claim to follow, Tamra, leave this sick woman who just got off a double-shift alone. On stage, Kelly and Vicki sweat not to abandon one another.

We see some of Kelly’s malapropisms. We move on to her shock and offense tour, and see clips of her being incredibly nasty. We see the mess in Ireland with Tamra, and I wonder what I’d do if someone insulted how I mother my dogs. Probably not what Tamra did. Heather says that Kelly’s M.O. is behave badly, apologize, and say I’m not really like that. Kelly says there’s no shame in her game. Really. She says that. She needs to read more. She says at the time, she felt sorry, but not anymore. A viewer asks if Kelly has a drinking problem because all of the altercations involve alcohol. Kelly claims she doesn’t have a drinking problem. She says she went to court mandated AA classes after she hit her ex-husband to stop him from fighting. I literally LOL.

Kelly brings up Heather saying she’s not filming unless they get rid of Kelly. We flash back to the sushi dinner. Heather says she was horrified, but Kelly tells her that she’s not the boss. Kelly thinks they should call her “bossy pants” instead of “fancy pants.” Heather says the last time she’d seen her BIL alive was at that restaurant, so she had bad memories of it to begin with. She doesn’t elaborate on this, so I wonder, did they have an argument? Did he choke on a fish bone? What happened?  She says the place literally has paper thin walls, and it was her visceral reaction. We see a clip of her saying that she doesn’t care if they fire her, she’s taking off her mic and she’s done. Kelly points out the others who throw around the f-bomb. She does have a point. It’s funny though, how we all react badly to that one word.

Andy asks Kelly if she stands behind her behavior. She says they were in a private room and doesn’t seem to grasp how thin the walls were. Andy asks why she apologized at the time. She says how she was treated later changed her viewpoint about them. Kelly is asked if her daughter sees the show, but she says no. Andy asks Meghan what she thinks. She’s been pretty quiet for the most part, probably contemplating childbirth. She says that Kelly gets defensive, and when she gets defensive she plays dirty. Kelly says she didn’t know there were rules, which makes me laugh, but the rules are called common courtesy and she does get nasty when she drinks. Heather talks over Meghan and Kelly, telling Kelly about her pattern again. Kelly tells Heather that her pattern is interrupting her and interloping.

The Ireland insult to Tamra is brought up. Heather says that when she criticized Kelly’s parenting on the bus, Kelly got upset. Kelly says Heather didn’t apologize. Heather says she is now. Heather says the difference between them is she learns from her mistakes, and it won’t happen again. Kelly says she apologizes for saying what she did about Tamra’s daughter. A viewer brings up how many times Tamra has said similar things to other cast members and we see flashbacks. Tamra says none of those things were okay for her to have said, and she was hurt by Kelly’s remark. They go over Tamra pushing Kelly in the store since we didn’t see it. Everyone talks at once and Andy tells them to stop it.

A viewer says Kelly has an anger issue, but doesn’t Tamra have one too? Tamra says she’s a bad drunk. Kelly says apologies are flying. Vicki thinks everyone should just move on. Kelly says if she hadn’t had anger management lready, she would have thumped Tamra. I might pay to see that. She says she didn’t and restrained herself.

Andy asks if Vicki is the Buddha of the OC. Shannon says not in her part of town. Andy asks about Kelly being mean and far shaming on social media. Shannon brings up a picture Kelly posted along with the words “keep eating.”

Next time – The Reunion, Part Three – Tamra and Vicki tangle, Tamra calls Vicki and “old woman” (don’t worry, Tamra, you’ll get there), Vicki claims to have proof that David beat Shannon, Shannon walks off stage, and Heather tells Vicki that she should beg Shannon for forgiveness which doesn’t go over too well.

💋 A note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Mama Joyce and I have the same ombre sweater. In different colors, but it’s the same. I don’t know how to feel about this.

Nov23

November 22, 2015 — Atlanta & the Dead

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra is treating Porsha to a colonic. A colonic is the new brunch. I’m on the fence as to whether those are really a good idea or not. Oh I see, the people who administer them are called “colonic therapists” now.  Phaedra stays in the room and Porsha makes a bunch of noises when it starts. TMI right off the bat.

Porsha says that a couple of the ladies brought up some tabloid headlines that were about her new boyfriend, Duke (what is he, royalty or a Great Dane?), like him dating a transgender woman. Porsha doesn’t care as long as he has a package and he’s breathing. Phaedra goes on and on about how Apollo’s motorcycle was at Kandi’s house when the tax man was looking for it. As Kandi said last week, I think he was looking for more than that, but Phaedra wants to misdirect her anger.

There’s also a dog wandering around the colonic room. Never mind, it was Kandi’s dog as one scene was edited into another.

Peter hasn’t contacted Cynthia in a week. I’d change the locks. She’s interviewing tutors for her daughter and both her assistant, Leon, and the potential tutor are fine looking men. She does not need Peter. Nope. Not at all. Unless she wants to lose every penny she makes and be embarrassed for the rest of her life.

Leon talks to Cynthia about her Peter issues. Leon says she’s walked away from a lot of relationships and he thinks it’s worth fighting for. What?! Why? This makes Cynthia want to reevaluate things. Thanks, Leon. She had a foot out the door.

Commercial break and important information. Andy will be doing a one-on-one interview with Vicki on Watch What Happens Live, Monday at 8:30 pm.

Porsha has signed up for a celebrity charity track meet. D list apparently.  I don’t recognize one other person and I watch a lot of crap. Oh, wait, is that Carrie Underwood? How did she get talked into something like this? It’s not even a real race; they’re doing sprints and acting like it’s a triathlon.

Friends are suggesting Porsha do a background check on Duke, but I don’t even think she googled him. Porsha says she wishes they’d just be supportive. Honey, that is being supportive. You don’t have a brain, so they’re looking out for you.

Kenya is having a Kenya Moore Experience event to promote her haircare brand. The event planner is the same one Cynthia used for her sunglasses launch. Kenya asks Marlo what up at Cynthia’s event with Sheree? and suggests they have a pay-the-rent party for her. I remember those.

Cynthia says it doesn’t feel good to come home to an empty bed. I have a suggestion, get rid of Peter and fill that space with someone else. He’s not even returning her calls. I have no clue what she sees in this Neanderthal.

Kim and her husband are going to Kenya’s event, and are excited about the prospect of going out sans children.  She has such beautiful hair and did that platinum highlight thing that I hate. Why? She seems to have a really great relationship with her husband and has done really well with her life, which is good to see when there are so many horror stories of too much too soon with young actors.

After giving explicit instructions about wanting the air conditioners blasting, it’s hot at the event. Porsha and her plus one friend are ragging on Kenya, but since Porsha only seems up to the task of letting a man take care of her, I don’t think she should be criticizing Kenya’s efforts. I’ve grown to like Kenya. At least she can form a sentence and do basic math.

Kim shows up and a lot of flashbulbs pop. Kim says she’s not impressed with a lot of people, but gives Kandi props. The heat plus Kandi’s pregnancy is not working though, and she has to leave. Kim says it’s not her and her husband’s ideal date, but beggars can’t be choosers. Sheree comes in.

Kenya makes her entrance. She has a man with her whose name I forgot already. Needless to say, she’s not thrilled with the temperature. Cynthia says Kenya twirled out faster than she twirled in. Ha-ha!

Miss Lawrence arrives! I’d forgotten he and Kenya are friends. Kenya  gets on the mic and apologizes about the heat. She thanks the people who worked on the event and tells everyone to have a good time. Eugene is the name of the guy she’s with.

Sheree says she doesn’t know if she can trust Kenya since she still wears color contacts in 2015. Okay… Shree throws more shade, and Kenya asks if she can speak to her on the side. Kenya thanks her for coming, but asks what’s up. Sheree says Kenya shouldn’t have talked about her unfinished house at Cynthia’s event. Kenya says she wasn’t making that big a deal about it, they talk contractors, and they make peace. We’ll see. Sheree is kind of a dim bulb.

Cynthis tells Peter he acted inappropriately at the party. He says he was ambushed by her friends about the video. She says if you give people something to work with, they’re going to work with it. Yep. He says he flashed back to their wedding when she came down the staircase, and all there’s been is work since they got married. Welcome to that thing we call “life.” Cynthia says there’s a disconnect between them. He seems to think it’s because they don’t spend enough time together and says it’s her fault. Cynthia says she freakin’ moved here from NYC for him for Pete’s sake, when he built that stupid bar and lost their money. He whines that it’s not his fault. She says she’s not saying that, but she’s unhappy and maybe she’s not in love with him anymore. He asks when she stopped and she doesn’t know. He says he never stopped being in love with her, but she says she doesn’t feel it and he doesn’t show it.

He says he’s been watching them drift apart, but he can’t stop doing what he’s doing (I have no idea what he means by that). He whines some more. Cynthia says they can give it one more go, but it’s not happy at present and is he up for that challenge? He says that when they’re as deep in love as they’ve been, there’s no back door. They’re definitely at odds as to divorce being an option. He says he’ll do whatever it takes. She says that she’s not going to say it’s going to be okay, just because he wants it to be. My hat’s off to her. She’s finally grown a pair.

Next week, the ladies go on a yacht day trip and there’s a lot of finger-in-your-face arguing.

The Walking Dead

Flashback to Glenn getting ripped apart. Wait. He’s not getting ripped apart. It’s Nicholas, the guy on top of him, and he scrunches underneath the dumpster. This is in a snow globe or it’s a dream, isn’t it?

Lots of zombies wandering around while Glenn looks to see how much water he has left. He emerges in the morning. The first thing I’d be doing is looking for a weapon. He looks for water instead. Hey. Stop making that crinkly noise with the bottle.

Enid yells to him from the top of the wall and tosses him some water. I’d totally forgotten about her. Glen climbs into the building and calls to Enid. He asks what happened in Alexandria. She says it’s what always happens, people die. He asks if the zombie horde broke in and what was the air horn sound. She tells him he should go. He asks if Maggie is okay.

Enid runs off and Glen follows. Okay, I guess they fooled us with his “death,” eh? Very clever. Ha-ha-ha. Now bring back that goat from the Morgan episode.

Rick sees Morgan and says he’d like to talk later. He checks out the blood that was dripping down the wall after the zombie attack. He sees Maggie at the lookout point, watching for Glenn. Rick says they’ve come back from harder things, and all of them will return. I wonder who kidnapped Rick and replaced him with this optimistic guy.

Glenn sees a zombie with his eyeball stuck to a fence and stabs him in the head. I’m sure there’s absolutely no reason for this scene except for us to see the stuck eyeball. He finds a note we assume was written by said zombie when they were alive.

Creepy Father Gabrielle is posting a notice for a prayer service. I don’t want him praying with me or for me. Rick is giving Ron gun lessons. Is anyone making bullets? That would be a lucrative profession right now. Rick gives Ron a gun so he gets used to the feel of it. It’s not going to be loaded until he learns more, but he seems a little eager to use it and I’m not liking that.

Morgan is about to talk to Denise, who has the idea Morgan is not as fine as he says he is. Rick comes by and asks Morgan to talk and they go to a mini meeting with Carol and Michonne. Carol has told Rick that Morgan refused to kill the Wolfs. Morgan says he doesn’t want to kill anyone he doesn’t have to and that Rick didn’t try to kill him way back when. He says he doesn’t know what’s right anymore, that he wanted to kill them because of what they do, but there is still the possibility that they might change, and that all life is precious. He doesn’t want to let that idea go. Michonne says he might have to. Morgan asks if they want him to go. Rick asks him if he really thinks he can stay and not end up with blood on his hands.

The zombie horde is banging on the walls of Alexandria. Rick tells Michonne they need to get to their cars and go back to diverting the zombies. He doesn’t want to tell anyone else because there isn’t time and that they haven’t even had time to catch their breaths. She says they’re doing that right now. She reminds me of one of the video exercise instructors I follow who thinks jumping jacks are a resting move. Dieanna comes out with plans for the new Alexandria.

Eugene is at zombie killing lessons and not paying attention. The instructor tells him it doesn’t matter if you die, but if the people around you die, it’s worse because you have to live with knowing you didn’t do all you could. Perhaps she’s speaking from experience.

Glenn grabs Enid before she can get out the door. He says he’s taking her home. Enid refuses. Glenn is insistent and she draws a gun on him.

Commercial break. An episode of Fear 462. The stewardess is about to use a defibrillator on a patient and this is amusing since it’s Dr. Obrechy from General Hospital. There are a few familiar faces on this series.

Glenn tells Enid to give him the gun. For a moment, I wonder if he survived the zombies only to die here, but he takes it from her. He tells her half the herd broke off and is headed for Alexiandria, so they need to get back.

Rick compulsively works on the walls while reciting “all work and no play make rick a dull boy.” Tobin comes along and starts helping.

Enid puts a struggling zombie out of its misery. She and Glenn see some green balloons tied to a post. It’s Glenn’s birthday! Enid takes the balloons.

Blood is still oozing through the wall at Alexandria. Tobin says Rick scared the hell out of him when he first came. He said things had moved slow in Alexandria and then started moving too fast, and not to give up on the people there.

Enid tells Glenn she lived with Olivia in Alexandria, but she was really on her own. Glenn says he realizes she’s scared. Enid says she isn’t and not to lecture her. Glenn tries to talk to her, but she doesn’t want it right now.

Stupid Ron gets into where they keep the firearms and steals some bullets. We already know nothing good will come of this.

Glenn and Enid, who still has the balloons (way to draw attention to yourself), get to Alexadria and see a million zombies outside. Enid says the world is trying to die and they should let it. Glenn says they’re not supposed to let that happen and he’s not going to let her die.

Holy!  A Spencer is crawling across a wire above the zombies. Whoa! He almost drops into them. And he does drop into them. Tobin and Eugene shoot at the zombies as rick tries to pull Spencer back up the wall. This is pretty intense. He makes it. Rick asks what the hell they were doing and Tara gives him the finger. Spencer says he wanted to get to a car and divert the zombies. Rick says come to him first if he gets any more bright ideas.

Denise asks Morgan if everything is okay and he says it’s fine. He sees her “cheat sheets” for medical instructions. He asks how well their stocked for antibiotics. He says he needs to dress a wound and he’s not sure if it’s infected. She starts giving him the symptoms and he covers the cheat sheet, but she still knows. He says he didn’t know if he should get her involved, but it’s not his wound.

Nosey Carol sees them going down the street and follows with baby Judith. Why they don’t realize she’s behind them is beyond me, since there’s absolutely no one else outside. Carol asks Sam to watch Judith. I’m kind of not liking Carol at this moment. Sam’s son asks Carol if his father turned into one of the monsters. Carol says he only thing that keeps you from becoming a monster is killing. I have no idea what she’s talking about.

Carol goes to where Morgan is (some kind of cell) and asks what he’s hiding. Ron comes up behind Carl with the gun. Rick and Tobin continue to work on the wall. But unlike Nehemiah, Rick is distracted by Tara walking by. They banter about the Spencer thing and Deanna joins in, thanking Rick for saving Spencer. Rick says he could have gotten out to get a car in the moment Spencer fell, but he chose not to.

Everyone sees the green balloons in the distance. Maggie runs to the gate. Worried faces all around and then we see the church tower fall and smash open the wall.

The mid season finale should be a doozie.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Uncensored

Not much to say about this other than it’s a chance for Bravo to milk the franchise some more. It’s still worth watching though. From the audition videos to the outing of Kim as an alcoholic to outtakes from the dinner party from hell. Sometimes you get the best stuff in these in-between shows.

The “real” Real Beverly Hills Wives begins Tuesday, December 1.

Nov16

November 15, 2015 — Once Upon the Dead in Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

Once Upon A Time

I’m really thrilled that they decided to make this 2 hours tonight, since it totally screws up my TV watching schedule.

David asks Arthur why he tried to burn the crimson crown mushroom. He wants to know who Nimue is and when he asks, Arthur table flips like he was on Real Housewives and runs.  Hook goes after him and ends up getting tripped up, but before Arthur can run a sword through him, Dark Emma stops him with Excalibur. Hook tells her that she’s not entirely dark, and the part that saved him was the real Emma. He asks why she needs Excalibur. She says she’s doing it for him and disappears poof! in a cloud of dark smoke.

Outside Camelot (3 weeks earlier), Emma and Henry meet at the diner, and wonder where Merlin is. Everyone but Emma is freeze framed and Merlin appears. Arthur has Regina, Snow, Hook and David tied to trees. Arthur wants Excalibur and the flame to forge it back together, in exchange for her family’s lives. Merlin tells her not to seek vengeance or they’ll never be able to put everything back together.

Hook wants to know why Arthur destroyed Merlin’s message (i.e. the mushroom). David tells him to lay off, but Hook says they need it to save Emma from her dark self. Regina says there might not be a real Emma anymore. Hook wants to find out how all this happened in the first place.

Rumpel is busy staring at a snow globe. Belle and Hook come to the shop. Hook wants to know what’s going on in Emma’s head, since she says she’s doing it for him, but he’s not buying it. Rumpel says he told himself the same thing about doing things for his son, but he was kidding himself and that road goes nowhere.

Emma is staring at the spark. Rumpel says he wouldn’t try to ignite it, as it will cause more harm than good. Rumpel disappears and Henry shows up. Emma says she needs to use the darkness one last time and then she’ll use Excalibur to rid herself of it.

She goes to where her family is being held hostage, and she says she’ll give Arthur the dagger and the spark if he lets her family go. Arthur says he’ll unleash Merlin. Merlin says he doesn’t want to fight her, but Zelena says she will.

Parallel Zelena, still in the hospital, goes into labor. She says dark magic caused it.

Hook looks for Dark Emma, and decides to jump off a roof so she’ll save him. She does and he says he wants to know what happened in Camelot. She says it’s complicated and he tells her that every ring he wears has a sad story of someone he killed. She produces a ring he thought he lost and he says that’s the saddest story of all. He tells her he loves her and she asks if he really wants to know what happened. He does and she says she has something to show him. They go to the house they were going to move in to.

Dark Emma says the truth is tricky and you have to look for it. Hook looks through a telescope at the ocean. She says she knows it calms him and everything she’s done is to keep their future alive. She says if he knew what she was doing, he would stop her. She hugs him and he goes unconscious.

Parallel Zelena is about to deliver.

Zelena asks who she should destroy first, and Emma says she can have thespark. Crazy snakes jump out and hold Zelena back. Merlin tells Emma this is a battle she can’t win and they throw lightning bolts at each other. Arthur tells Merlin to kill Snow. A tree branch starts to strangle her, but Merlin fights the darkness, despite Arthur’s protests.

In the meantime, Hook has broken free, and Arthur runs like the big baby he is, telling Zelena to get them out of there. They both disappear poof! in a puff of green smoke.

Now Emma has the sword, the dagger and the spark. They all reconvene at the diner. Emma takes the spark outside to meditate on it. Regina asks her if she needs a light. Ha-ha! Emma says that Rumpel told her she’s not ready to get rid of the darkness. Regina says if she’s clinging to the darkness, there must be a good reason. She takes the dagger and commands her to say why she wants to hang on to the darkness. Emma says to protect her family, but Regina says there’s more to it than that. Hook comes out and takes the dagger away before she can get to the truth.

Zelena has a baby girl. Everyone moons over the new baby and Dark Emma shows up. They’re afraid she wants to take the baby, but she says that’s not the baby she’s after.

Hook wakes up in chains. He sees Zelena with him and she says Dark Emma sped up her pregnancy and separated her from her baby. Dark Emma appears and tells Hook that he would have stopped her. The darkness needs a vessel and she wants Zelena’s baby for that. He keeps asking her what really happened that she’s not saying.

Hook finds Emma staring at the spark. She says she knows why she doesn’t want to let go of the darkness. She says she can only admit her true feelings if she thinks she’s going to lose someone. She says the minute the darkness is gone, their future begins and she’s afraid of that. They kiss and the spark ignites. That’s not a euphemism. The spark really ignites.

Regina says she’s going to hunt down Dark Emma and show her what dark magic is really like. Sounds like a plan. Regina says the reason she has the dagger is that she’s the only one who can do what needs to be done.

Hook says his hook has magic left over and he releases Zelena. Poof! she changes her outfit into something more stylish. That’s definitely what I’d do first.

Dark Emma says she doesn’t need saving and that Regina will be better off without Zelena. Regina is like, knock it off, and Dark Emma freeze frames everyone.

Zelena and Hook go to the house. Zelena tells him good luck with the Emma thing and leaves. Hook rifles through some drawers and then takes a painting off the wall. Dark Emma enters and he zaps her into dropping the sword and freezes her feet. Zelena comes back and stabs Hook. WTF? She’s brought the dreamcatcher and wants to return the memories Dark Emma stole.

Back at the diner, Merlin says it’s time to destroy the darkness once and for all. Emma brings out the flame and they put Excalibur back together. Almost. Hook falls down bleeding. Emma says he’d had a small cut from Excalibur but it was just a scratch. Apparently not. Merlin says there’s nothing they can do, but Emma doesn’t believe it, and spirits Hook away to a field of flowers. He says she has to let him go. He says he doesn’t think he can fight the darkness another time. He expires and I’m annoyed because I really liked him.

All kinds of weird black thingies come out of Merlin and then out of the still broken Excalibur. They also come out of the sewer cap to the underworld and form a hooded figure. It’s Hook.

Emma says that the only way to destroy the darkness was to kill Zelena. Hook is pissed off and Zelena asks if he’s ready to be all dark. He says first they need to take care of Dark Emma, who I’m not sure is dark or not at this point.

Arthur pops back into Camelot and Zelena is waiting in a cool, sparkly witch’s outfit. He says there’s something that can help them in another land, DunBroch, which just happens to be where Merida is.

Merida is at her father’s grave and says she’s finally proved to the clans that she’s fit to be their queen, but the hard part comes in ruling over them. Her mother approaches and says she misses him too, but it’s time for the coronation.

Earlier in DunBroch, King Fergus is in a witch’s cabin. He says he needs some magic to lead the clans in victory over the invaders. As Rumpel has told us repeatedly, magic always comes with a price. The witch says she doesn’t need anything right now but she’ll take an IOU. And we know how that always turns out.

She does that whole eye of newt thing, her cauldron bubbles, and a helmet emerges. She says if he wears the helmet into battle, he’ll get exactly what he wants. That’s a little vague, which usually causes a problem later too.

At Merida’s coronation, before the crown can be put on her head, the witch shows up with the IOU. What did I just say? She says that the king died before he could pay her and she wants either lots of gold or the helmet back. Merida says she doesn’t have either and the witch says if she doesn’t find it by tomorrow, she’s turning everyone into bears. What’s up with that bear thing?

Merida says whoever killed her father has the helmet.

Earlier in DunBroch. Merida is on the battlefield with her father. King Fergus gives her his first bow to carry into battle. He’s also hired a soldier to teach her the art of war. She says she doesn’t need one and then proceeds to get trounced. The soldier removes “his” helmet & it’s Mulan. She says the one thing you need is honor.

Fast forwarding. Merida hunts down Mulan who has just knocked off a couple of good-for-nothings. Merida says she needs her help and gives her all the gold she has, as Mulan is all mercenary now.

Cool! Arthur and Zelena are at the witch’s cabin and a wolf comes after them. Zelena zaps the wolf. The witch says that was her pet and she doesn’t have the helmet. Zelena says no one out witches her and asks where the helmet is. The witch says Merida has it.

Merida and Mulan find an arrow that Merida recognizes and says the cloth on it will lead them to whoever killed her father. Mulan wants to get moving and Merida asks what happened to her to make her so cold. She says that a warrior never lets anything hurt them, which tells us she’s been hurt.

In old DunBroch, Mulan gives Merida lessons in fighting. One of the guys makes fun of her and Merida says she can kick his ass, but Mulan tells her fear is no way to rule.

Zelena and Arthur show up in the forest and Zelena says they need the helmet. He tells her the helmet forces people to listen to you and fight despite of fear. Zelena takes Merida’s bow from her (the one her father gave her) and says she can use a locator spell to find the helmet.

Merida says that her father used dark magic to lead and she doesn’t want to do that. She rides off, leaving Mulan to ponder her own changed self.

In past DunBroch, Merida asks King Fergus how he inspires men to lead him into battle. He tells her the only way is to show them that you’re willing to die first. Of course he neglects to tell her about the helmet.

Mulan takes the cloth from the arrow to the witch’s cabin. The wolf backs her out the door. Mulan says she’s not really a wolf and needs help remember who she is. A cauldron gets knocked over and the wolf turns into a woman. She introduces herself as Ruby, but her friends call her Red. Red explains that she knows of Mulan from her friends in other realms. Mulan asks how she ended up at the witch’s cabin.

In past Storybrooke, Snow has just given birth to Prince Neil and gives a big announcement at the diner. Red is outside the door and Snow asks what’s wrong. Red wants to go back to the enchanted forest. Snow says she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.

Mulan asks if she found what she was looking for, but Red says she couldn’t find her people. She went to the witch for help and got turned into a wolf. Mulan says she was hoping the witch would help her hunt down who killed King Fergus. Red says she doesn’t need magic for that.

Mulan goes back to Merida and says Red can sniff out the culprit.

Back in old DunBroch, as Mulan is giving Merida lessons, Merida hears the invaders in the distance. She realizes the lessons were just a ruse to get her away from the fighting. King Fergus has his lucky helmet on and jazzes the soldiers up to fight. There’s a big battle with lots of sword fighting. Merida watches from a distance. A knight comes up behind her father and Merida draws her bow. She misses the knight and her father gets killed. The knight steals the helmet. Mulan keeps Merida from going down to the field. The knight turns out to be Arthur.

Zelena finds the helmet in a lake, but before Arthur can take it, Merida and Mulan show up. Merida wants to kill Arthur, but Mulan says it’s not about revenge; it’s about saving her people. Merida asks why Arthur didn’t have the helmet, and Arthur says the helmet he took wasn’t the magic one. Merida realizes that King Fergus threw the helmet into the lake before the battle and had led his people without magic.

Merida fights with Arthur. Mulan tells Zelena to stay out of it. Since she won’t, Red doses her with some sleeping powder. Arthur tells Merida if she reaches for the helmet, he’ll kill her like he did her father. The clan guys show up, and Zelena and Arthur (who seems to be best at running from his problems) disappear, poof! in a puff of green smoke. Merida asks if the clan dudes still want her to be queen. The head clan dude says they’ve seen her bravery and if she’s not fit to be the leader, no one is.

Merida is crowned queen and the witch shows up. The witch says if she doesn’t hand over the helmet, she’ll be leading a bunch of bears. She says she’ll destroy the helmet before handing it over. The witch says it was just a test. Her father had asked for magic to lead the clans, and she gave it to him. I think this is one of those “it was really inside you all the time” lessons.The witch gives her some magic to summon a dead spirit so she can again speak to her father.

Merida thanks Red and Mulan. Mulan gives her back the gold, and says she was just trying to get over a broken heart. She wanted to tell someone how she felt about them, and when she did, it was too late. Red says she ate the only boyfriend she ever had, but she still might be able to help. Merida says good-by to them.

Merida summons the spirit of her father. She apologizes for losing faith in him and he says he lost faith in himself and that’s why he sought magic. He says she was the one who changed his mind when she asked what it took to lead men into battle. They hug and I get teary eyed because it’s a sweet father/daughter moment and I miss my dad.

King Fergus disappears, and Merida says, “Arthur, you have no idea what’s coming to you.”

The next episode is 2 weeks from now. Good, because this episode was a rough one.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Cynthia questions why Peter couldn’t be bothered to support her when she made her entrance to her sunglasses event. True to form, he walks away since he was called on his BS.

Tootie is here! Kenya comes to her studio. She also directs now and Kenya gives her props on her career moves. She tells Kim about her Life Twirls On pilot and asks her to take a look at it and maybe come on as a director. Kim is a little hesitant. Kenya asks why she never sees Kim out and about. She says she’s more focused on family. Kenya gives Kim the DVD of her pilot.

Cynthia confers via SKYPE with her business partner, Tiffany. They decide to do a launch party in Miami. Peter left for Charlotte (where his side honey is) before Cynthia got home. She tells Tiffany about the issues she’s having with Peter. She says it’s exhausting pretending everything is okay in public. She says she consumes herself with work and when she thinks about the personal stuff, it’s overwhelming. Tiffany tells her she has to deal with it.

Porsha (who spells her name wrong, so I’ve been spelling it wrong) thinks she’s going to build a brand that rivals several Jessicas (Simpson, Biel, Alba, all of them). She wants to throw a “sip and see” for her new boyfriend. What?  Is she dating an infant?

Phaedra goes to a tea shop and meets Cynthia there. While they’d had an altercation last season, Phaedra says she’s going to let bygones be bygones because that’s what I good Christian woman does. I’m eating dinner late and I choke on my spaghetti. Phaedra asks what’s up with Peter and Cynthia gets cagey. Phaedra says everyone attacked her when she was down about Apollo. Not down with, about. Cynthia says she’s sorry for her part in anything. In her individual interview, Phaedra says she’s committed to supporting Cynthia, but she’s not going to forget the things she said.

Sheree is showing Kandi her clothing operation. Sheree asks what’s up with Kenya. Kandi says Kenya took some getting used to, but she’s okay with Kenya now. They move on to talking about Cynthia and Peter and the sunglasses event.

Kim says she loves being a wife and mother, and queen of her castle. She says red carpet stuff was never a big deal to her and she didn’t even show up if she wasn’t in the film. She’s also launching a maternity line. She’s setting up an intro to her website. After a few thousand takes, she hears the kids upstairs and has to take a break, and then gets it down.

Todd and Kandi get together with Kandi’s employees and a plate of bacon to discuss future plans. Kandi talks about opening a restaurant. The closing of the building is close to her due date, so she says she’ll have to depend on Todd to deal with a lot of it. Then they discuss the baby shower, because rich people who can afford baby stuff always have one for every kid. Todd wants to know if Phaedra is coming because she owes him money for working on the video that never happened.

Thank God Porsha abandons the idea of a sip and see, and is having a going away party for her football playing boyfriend, doubling as an introduction party. Her sister Lauren is pregnant, and when she says she’s 13 weeks, Porsha needs to be told how many months that is because she never passed third grade.

Apparently Porsha hasn’t known this guy too long and is already married to him in her head. Everyone gathers for the party. Kandi says she and Phaedra need to deal with their issues, but in the meantime, they’re being cordial. Entrée Duke, the new boyfriend. Everything is football themed, including Porsha. If Duke Williams and 27 mean something to you, then you know who this guy is. Cynthia says Porsha should follow her heart, but take your brain with her. I guess she assumes Porsha has a brain, but so far there hasn’t been much evidence.

Oooh, there has been tabloid fodder about Duke hooking up with a transvestite prostitute. These two seem to be planning to move in together, which sounds like a terrible idea. Porsha takes a mic and starts blabbing about how great they are together and that she’s making him her trophy man and hands him an award. (“Dude looks scared,” Kandi says when Porsha starts talking. Ha-ha!)

Phaedra gets together with Kandi at her office lounge.  Kandi says they have to talk to get their friendship back to the way it was. She says that Phaedra acted all nice to her face, but it was a different story behind her back. We flash to Phaedra talking about Kandi to Nene. Phaedra says she heard from a third party that Todd and Kandi were hanging on to Apollo’s motorcycle, and the government was coming after her to seize his assets. This sounds like an excuse. Phaedra also didn’t like that Kandi said Apollo should see his kids. She says he’s in Kentucky, and it’s an expensive hassle. Kandi brings up Phaedra still owing Todd 8 grand for the video. What this sounds like is the both of them have been talking to other people when they should have been talking to one another, the balance weighing more heavily on Phaedra. Phaedra says she couldn’t help the way she felt, and Kandi says just talk to her next time. Phaedra promises to talk to Todd as well. Hugs happen.

Kandi’s assistant asks if World War IV is over. He’s not buying Phaedra’s sincerity. Me neither really.

The Walking Dead

I came in late. Daryl has been captured by a band of not so merry men. Actually a guy and two girls. They go to a fenced in area where zombies are wandering around what look like gas tanks. Daryl gets away, taking a duffel bag, and runs into the woods. He gets free of his bonds, radios Abe and Sasha, and narrowly misses getting eaten by a zombie while trying to get his crossbow out of the duffle bag.

Either the car broke down or they’re taking a break. Sasha and Abe enter a building. Abe sees a garment bag with a dress uniform in it.  Sasha is sitting in the reception area of an office, where a zombie is scratching at the locked glass doors. Why they don’t put this poor thing out of its misery, I don’t know. The last place I’d want to be a zombie is in an office. I already put in my time being a zombie there. Abe wants to name him. Sasha gives Abe a speech about being accountable for choices. It sounds like she’s telling him he hasn’t made some good ones.

Daryl doubles back with his crossbow and takes the gun from the guy who was holding him hostage. He also takes a carving the guy had in his pocket. I have no idea why. He throws the duffel bag at them, which I guess has supplies. Daryl hides behind a tree and a huge truck comes in. They demand whatever supplies the people have. They say they earned them and the truck guy says rules are rules. One of the women says the rules are crap. After the truck guys take the duffel bag, Daryl gathers up the people and they hide.

One of the truck guys comes looking for them and gets a bite to the arm from a zombie for his trouble. He kills the zombie and truck guy #2 comes along and chops off his arm. Very efficient. The truck guys leave and the guy who kidnapped Daryl asks why Daryl came back after what they did to him.

While Abe is wandering around, he sees a zombie stuck on a pole off of a bridge, flailing around. Abe opens a nearby car trunk to find weapons and cigars. Wonder what the Bureau of Tobacco and Firearms would think about that. For whatever idiotic reason, he taunts the zombie up close. It’s a military guy and I think Abe has issues with this. He lights up a cigar and watches as the zombie’s movements finally cause him to fall, leaving the RPG strapped to him behind.

Abe returns to Sasha. He says they have everything they need there. He says he likes the way she calls him on his BS and wants to get to know her better. She says he has some stuff to take care of and he agrees. Yeah, maybe they want to take care of that zombie that’s staring at them from behind the glass.

Daryl and company come across a burned down house. For whatever reason (there are a lot of unanswered questions in this one), one of the girls says it’s their fault this happened. She enters what’s left of the house and is about to put flowers the two dead bodies. Already you know what’s going to happen here. She gets bitten and the next thing you know, a grave is being dug. Daryl asks the guy Rick’s usual  questions – how many walkers have you killed and how many people have you killed? The guy says none because then there’s no going back. Daryl then invites them back to Alexandria. He wants to find his bike and then get Sasha and Abe to bring them back. Oh, man. Dude pulls a gun on him again and asks for the crossbow. No good deed goes unpunished. The couple steal his bike and throw him a knife. The woman says “Sorry,” and Daryl says, “Gonna be.” Well, if anyone can make it in the zombie infested wilderness, it’s Daryl.

Daryl almost immediately finds a fuel truck. What did I say? He picks up Sasha and Abe, who is now wearing a dress military blazer. Daryl tries to radio Rick. We hear the word “help” come through.

Nov9

November 8, 2015 – Once Upon the Dead in Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon A Time

Dark Emma brings the dagger to the rest of Excalibur. Rumpelstiltskin pops out, acting all merry, and puts some fairy dust or whatever on the sword.

Merlin is running through a desert with some guy and they see a chalice with water in it. The guy is like, I’ll go first because I’m thirstier than you, but when he touches it, he disappears, poof! in a cloud of smoke. Merlin is more humble in his approach and is able to quench his thirst. Everything around him turns green and he knows the chalice is the magical Holy Grail.

In Storybrooke, everyone is hanging out at the diner in Medieval wear. Merlin asks them to get the sword. He says blah-blah-blah about love and suddenly we’re back 200 years ago. A girl is there to see him. Her name is Nimue, and she’s seeking revenge on an evil being who ransacked her town. She’d seen him coming and she ran. She’s brought some seeds and says her best revenge would be to plant some flowers that grow only in her town, and for the flowers to live on. This is the stupidest revenge plot I’ve ever heard of. She plants the seeds in a container, Merlin goes bibbidy-bobbidy-boo and the flowers spring up.

Nowadays Merlin tells Emma they need some kind of spark and he wants her to help him get it. This isn’t a euphemism for anything. They really need to hunt down a literal spark. He says he sees two paths for their journey, in one she resists darkness and they’re successful; in the other, she succumbs to darkness and he dies.

There’s some mushy stuff between Emma and Hook, but I miss most of it because I was out of the room. I guess Nimue stuck around because Merlin is telling her all about how he found the Holy Grail. Any mention of holy and grail in the same sentence always makes me think of Monty Python, and ever since the Camelotites landed, I’ve been waiting for the Knights Who Say Ni to show up. Merlin wants to refashion the grail into a sword. Nimue is impressed that he doesn’t want to use the grail for his own gain, so Merlin makes a ring out of a leaf for her. Okay, all this magic and a Holy Grail and everything, and he gives her a ring made out of a leaf? Cheapskate.

Back in the diner, Zelena offers a trade. She knows how to get to the sword if she can have her magic back. She leads them to a crypt. Or it could be a fancy root cellar. Regina says if they get in and out with the sword, they’ll talk about the magic thing.

Arthur is stirring a cauldron and acting like a paranoid weirdo. He pours something from the cauldron over a helmet and it dissolves. He tells his lackeys to go pour it over everyone. Nice. If I were Gwinivere, I’d be looking for the nearest exit.

Merlin asks Emma if she’s embraced her powers and she says she’s done some dark things lately. But she figures if she’s questioning it, she must still have a conscience.

Merlin and Nimue go back to where her village was. He thinks she has survivor’s remorse, but she says she’s just angry. She says if she had his magic, she’d be all over the place doling out vigilante justice. Whoa. What happened to planting the flowers being enough? Merlin sees someone bad headed for his village and Nimue tells him to just hit the bad dude with a lightning bolt. He says he can’t because darkness might overtake him. What’s the point in having magic if you can’t zap people once in a while? For the greater good of course.

Zelena ugly cries about her sister being the favorite and how she’s worried about her baby. Enough to cause Snow concern, but once she gets close, Zelena kicks her across the lawn and escapes.

Merlin takes the grail to a fireplace in the middle of the woods. The fire consumes the grail, Merlin goes hocus pocus and it turns into Excalibur. Some creepy dude comes up behind them and wants the sword. Creepy Dude grabs Nimue and stabs her. She dies in Merlin’s arms.

Merlin tells Emma that Creepy Dude stole the flame that consumed the grail. She’s supposed to take the dagger and ask to communicate with the first dark one. The ancient dark one pops in and it’s not a dude, it’s a dudette. It’s Nimue! Back in the day while Creepy Dude is yapping at Merlin, Nimue (not really dead) steals his heart. (That phrase is always meant literally when used in regard to this show.) Oooh, she crushes it to dust. All righty then. She turns into the first dark one and breaks the sword.

Nimue is like, cool, the first and most recent dark ones, together on stage for the first time. Nimue zaps Merlin. She says any threat must be destroyed and that includes him. She tells Emma she has to kill Merlin. Emma is like no way, and uses the dagger to get the better of Nimue, who says she’ll always be inside Emma & disappears, poof! No smoke though. Merlin explains to Emma that he was able to put the sword in the stone and Nimue’s soul in the dagger.

Regina and the gang head to the round table, where Arthur is messing around with the sword. Regina puts him in freeze frame and says to get the sword. David is worried about a protection spell, but Regina says Arthur has no magic. Cue Zelena, who has Snow captive. Arthur uses the sword to summon Merlin. Merlin and Arthur have a pissing contest with words. Merlin tells Arthur the future is in his hands and to hand over the sword so they can use it for good. Arthur is like nuh-uh, and makes everyone else leave.

Nimue has hooked up with Rumpel, and they encourage Dark Emma to put the sword back together. There is a crowd of minions chanting. Not those little yellow guys, but creepy hooded figures. Dark Emma gets the sword back together using magic chewing gum., but she hears Merlin’s voice telling her not to do it back when she was a little girl. The minions tell her to take the power. She looks the sword over.

Oh good, next week Merida’s back. I’ve never seen Brave, but I kind of missed her.

The Walking Dead

Deanna climbs to a rooftop and watches the Alexandria clean up. She seems pretty freaked out, probably because she really didn’t know the first thing about being a post-apocalyptic leader. She sees Rick running toward the gate with loads and loads of zombies behind him. How she gets to street level as fast as she does, I will never know. Is this a daydream?

Nope. Rick is inside and already giving a lecture. He always has to scold everyone before he gives instructions. He says the others on the quarry mission know what they’re doing and the Alexandrians have to do their part and keep real freaking quiet so the zombies go away. Aaron goes on all about how Rick is a loser, then admits that he – Aaron, not Rick — is the jerk who led the Wolfs to Alexandria. I have no idea what he’s trying to say here. They’re all screw ups?

Jessie is digging graves when Rick tells her they don’t bury killers inside the walls. So they’ll just leave the bodies sit and stink until the zombies finally go away? Not a plan.

A small crowd is gathered by the food supply area. They don’t want to ration because they figure they’re dead anyway. They want to whoop it up on those canned peaches and green beans. Spencer gives them a what-do-you-think-you’re-doing? talk, and makes it okay again.

A few of the Alexandrians are making a memorial wall. Aaron sees Glenn’s name on it, and sees Maggie off and running. She’s gearing up for a rescue mission and Aaron says he’s going to help.

Deanna is pondering her wedding ring. She starts making a plan for a garden and some expansion, but maybe there’s more to it than that. Upstairs, she hears Spencer break a glass. He’s been hitting a bottle of liquor he swiped from the pantry, saying that he deserves it after stopping a run on the food. He blames Deanna for the position they’re in, saying she didn’t know what she was doing and made them into wimps.

Carl asks Ron if he’s seen Enid. He wants Ron’s help to climb over the wall and go find her. Ron says that he told her not to go out there, and he’s not going to let Carl go. I have to agree that now is probably not the best time with 10,000 zombies out there. Carl punches Ron out, but Ron says nyah-nyah, he’s going to tell.

Jessie goes to the door of a house and a zombie scares the ever-lovin’ hell out of all of us. She opens the door and stabs it in the eye. She tells the small group who has gathered, that this is the way it goes now and if they don’t fight, they die. The new normal.

Aaron shows Maggie a way to go under the wall. They go through a sewer tunnel and a couple of sewage zombies come out of nowhere. One almost eats Maggie and Aaron dispatches them. Maggie tells him he should go back because a cut on his head needs stitches, but he’s all like, it’s nothing, pay no attention to that blood dripping down my face.

Shrink turned medical doctor, Denise, is trying to help a bite victim. She has a eureka-I-found-it moment.

Rick can’t get ahold of any of the others who were on the quarry mission. Ron tells Rick about stopping Carl from leaving. Rick wants to check on Carl, and Ron says he’ll watch for the others while Rick is gone. He also wants to learn to shoot and RIck hands him a gun and says, practice now.

Tara asks how the bitten guy is and Denise responds by giving her a big kiss on the mouth, singing It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine), and saying it sucks. I have no clue what the kiss was all about, if anything, I have even less of a clue about what happened in the infirmary.

Maggie and Aaron get to the end of the pipe where there’s a gate. There are zombies outside, and Aaron wants to chance it, but Maggie makes a stink, drawing the zombies’ attention. She says it’s over and that if she’d gone with Glenn, she might have been able to save him; but if he was alive, she thinks he would have let her know by now. Really? How? I believe he’s dead, but for argument’s sake, if he wasn’t, how is he supposed to call?

Amy’s son, Sam, won’t come downstairs for cookies, so something is definitely wrong. He says that the world didn’t change upstairs. That’s a very poignant point.

Deanna is on her way somewhere with tray of glass bottles, gets a zombie surprise and drops the tray. Picking up a broken bottle, she attacks the zombie like a contestant on Bad Girls Club. Rick comes along and tells her she can stop now and she says she wants to live and learn how to cut a zombie bitch.

Maggie takes Glenn’s name off the wall. Aaron tells her that Aaron can be a girl’s name too, depending on how it’s spelled. Apparently, Maggie is pregnant, but I blinked and missed that part. Spencer gets props for something brave he did and contemplates his new bad assness. Rick says something to Jessie about not wanting to bury the bodies because the others are still out there somewhere and I don’t get the connection. He and Jessie get romantic and I gag.

Deanna is getting awfully close to the fence and taunting the zombies. Bad zombies!

We end with seeing blood dripping down on the inside of one of the walls.

Do the actors on this show go home all depressed or do they just head straight for the bar?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Kandi is pregnant. Excitement abounds for the Burusses!

Portia comes by to visit Phaedra, and they’re both wearing outfits from the late 70s. Phaedra says they’re bestest friends now because Portia has been “a rock” for her. More like Portia has rocks in her head and we’ll see how long this lasts. Phaedra says she and Apollo are “cordial,” which I assume means she’s going to divorce him any minute now. Portia is dating a 24-year-old, which is about 10 years older than her age mentally, but there are laws to consider.

Cynthia says since the new opening of whatever venture Peter is getting into now, they only spend 3 days a week together. That’s 3 days a week more than I’d want to spend with him. Some kind of inappropriate something from Peter comes through on Phaedra’s phone.

It’s a video of Peter copping a feel that’s making the rounds. Cynthia tells Peter he’s embarrassing her and he doesn’t care. Did she really think he would? He’s saying it’s not what it looks like (ugh! thanks for being cliché) and tries to end the conversation, but Cynthia isn’t having it. She tells him he needs to think about what he’s done and puts him in time out with a bottle of wine.

Portia’s new squeeze, Duke, has flown in from Buffalo where he plays football. Portia says he’s really into her and wants to get to know her. If she wants to keep him, she probably shouldn’t let that happen. She feeds him chocolate covered strawberries and it’s one of the least romantic things I’ve ever seen. She wants him to meet her parents. Let’s just review, shall we? This is the same woman whose grandfather was a big name in the Civil Rights Movement, but thought the Underground Railroad was a real train. Unless you want to spend endless time pampering a pseudo princess who has no IQ whatsoever, Portia is not for you.

Commercial break. Brooks Ayers interview by Andy. Thursday at 9. Be there or be square. Unless, unlike me, you have a life.

Kenya is showing Cynthia her new home in Atlanta. Sheree Whitfield (is she still using that last name?) is one of her neighbors and back on the show. They drive past her house, which looks like an amazing little castle, but not quite finished. Kenya’s house looks like some kind of dilapidated fortress. She got it at foreclosure and it needs a lot of work. The property is gorgeous though. The Million Dollar Listing guys would definitely call this a tear down. What happened to Gone with the Wind fabulous?

Phaedra says Apollo has a lot of time to get on her nerves – even from prison. Ha-ha! I’ll bet. Kandi and Todd have been storing his stuff. Todd says that Apollo claims to have not seen the kids since he went into the slammer, which isn’t how Phaedra has been presenting things. My guess is that Phaedra makes it up as she goes along. Something is so off about her. She was supposed to release a workout DVD that Todd produced, and so far, no DVD and no paycheck either. Todd wants Kandi to discuss it with her and neither Kandi nor I think that’s appropriate.

Phaedra’s mother kisses her angel daughter’s behind and says everything’s good because it’s peaceful without jerkface Apollo. Mom is pushing her to get a divorce. I don’t know why she hasn’t gotten one already. She checked out of that marriage the second she knew he was going to prison.

Cynthia has a new eyewear line going on, and Portia is hoping to score free shades. She says she likes when a woman has a business to focus on because then she’s not in your business. That’s actually pretty clever, so I figure she read it on a cereal box. Phaedra calls the group “the shady bunch.” I’d never accuse her of not being witty or lacking intelligence, but I’d never, ever trust her with anything.

That weird Marlo chick is there and hoping to score a free pair of sunglasses in every design. Kenya and Marlo are talking about Sheree’s unfinished house, which has been unfinished for 3 years. The neighbors are starting to complain. I laugh, thinking about how long it takes real estate projects to be completed where I live. That’s nothing.

Peter finally shows up. Blech. I just don’t like him. Kenya seems to think he has something on the side. I don’t know about that, but he definitely has himself on the side, and every other angle, since that’s all he cares about. He and Kenya exchange words about his guilty ways. The worst thing about him is how he gets so involved with the gossip like he’s one of the Wives, but I don’t see him holding a peach in the group shots. He also tends to get right in their faces, which is not cool for a man to do.

Everyone’s wondering where Cynthia is, when she makes a grand entrance in a Cleopatra-type outfit and a pair of the glasses. I am a sunglasses freak and totally support this endeavor. Cynthia is looking for Peter (why?).

Sheree makes an appearance. She’s all good friends with Marlo, which makes Phaedra and I wonder what happened, since that wasn’t the case the last time they crossed paths. Kenya asks Sheree what’s up with her house, and tells her that the neighbors have been complaining about how long it’s taking to complete. Again, if that’s really the case, they should live here for a while. They go back and forth, and Cynthia is like, stop it, this night is about me. Sheree gets louder and starts attracting attention. Cynthia tells her, enough already….

And it’s to be continued.

Tootie arrives next week!

Nov4

November 3, 2015 — Still Halloween in PC, Yachting 101 & Quote(s) of the Week

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

We begin with Kiki stating the obvious, that Morgan and Darby were off having sex. Valerie doesn’t believe that even Andy is stupid enough to have made the mistake of switching reels, and says Dillon must have done it on purpose. Maxie freaks on Nathan because he knew all along. He says it’s because she would have told Lulu, and we both say, “Well, yeah.”

Dante chases after Lulu, who wants nothing to do with him right now, and I scream at the TV, “Give her the space she needs, you !@#$% %^&()@!!!” alarming my dogs.

Carly has a deal with the lab guy – she has given him a “discreet” room when he’s needed it (I don’t want to know) and he’s going to do a discreet DNA test for her. Please, let this be over with soon.

Poor Lulu! She says she was going to start the hormone treatments tomorrow. Dante still wants to go ahead with it, but she’s like, wait a second, you tried to talk me out of it. Why?

Valerie totally goes off on Dillon.

Kiki tells Morgan that since she doesn’t want him, why not grab the next available thing? (Like Jax. Just move one down on your contacts list.) Darby says they should either get back together or “hit the kill switch,” because neither of them are able to handle the in-between.

The lab guy says he can have the test done quicker than anyone, but he needs Jason’s DNA for comparison.  Carly tells him it should be in the crime database. Come on already.

Sam is whining to Patrick about not having the facial reconstruction finished. Isn’t she wondering where the laptop is? Patrick says both “Jake” and Elizabeth seem happy with how things are, so maybe they should just leave it alone. He says something about a knock at the door, and guess what? Yep, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Emma who has had a nightmare.

“Jake” – you know, forget it, I’m going to start calling him Jason since no one else will. Jason asks Elizabeth if she wants to postpone the wedding, but she says no. They make out on the bridge, but all of a sudden, Jason realizes he’s been there before. And with her.

Morgan says it’s over, and Kiki asks how she’s supposed to react when they cross paths. She says she thought they were starting over, but then he decided to sleep with her mother again (thinking it was her Aunt Denise, but still) and he broke her heart. He replies with a bunch of stupid remarks. He’s such a jerk, even as a drunk she can do better.

Maxie is pretty pissed about Nathan keeping the secret from her. She says they could have tried to convince Dante to come clean and fix it together, but instead he chose Dante over her. Good point.

Valerie acts like it’s all Dillon’s fault that she slept with Dante. She says that he was afraid to tell Lulu himself because she might hate him for it. So he chose another way. He says she’s right. D’oh!

Lulu says she feels like an idiot for having made a big deal over what she thought was just one kiss, and Dante lied to her face when she questioned him. He says he didn’t want their marriage to be defined by one night that he made a bad decision. Lulu really isn’t having it. She says she hopes Valerie was better than her in bed and that it was worth it. He says blah-blah-blah about how he’d thought their marriage was over. Lulu and I both say, so you slept with Valerie instead of saying something?

Jason wants Elizabeth to kiss him again, so he can get the remembering vibe back. I can’t say I’ve ever heard that excuse before.

Nathan says Maxie should understand about keeping a secret for the greater good. She says, oh yeah, like when she kept the Spinelli baby secret and it worked out so well. Not.

Lulu is putting all kinds of two and twos together. Ugh! She says she thought they were closer when all the time, Valerie was taking up space in their bed. He tries again to explain what he thought about her and Dillon, but it’s not working.

Valerie is appalled that Dillon put Lulu in the position of finding out publicly. He says that Valerie wanted Lulu and Dante’s marriage to implode too, but she says no. I don’t know if I believe that, but I agree with her about the public thing.

Morgan asks Kiki to explain how her drinking to deal with things is any better than his sleeping around. Well, for one, no one ever got pregnant from a martini.

HE SAID IT! THE LAB GUY SAID IT! JAKE DOE AND JASON ARE THE SAME PERSON! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Maxie says that Lulu and Dante had the perfect marriage, and inspired her when she wasn’t being jealous of them.

Dante is making no freaking sense, and now tries to turn the tables. That’s seriously not going to work. She talks about him changing the sheets the morning she got home. She says they’ve been living in two totally different worlds. He knew the truth and she didn’t, and they lived accordingly. This is just heart-breaking. He says he thought he could find a way to be the man she deserved. I’m not sure why he thought lying was the way to do that. I don’t think Lulu is too happy with Dillon either.

Valerie tells Dillon that Lulu is going to hate him forever.

Morgan tells Kiki he’ll drive her home, and she suggests he drive Darby home. Darby comes out with some snacks and starts wolfing down burgers, which is totally appropriate.

It would be something if Jason actually ends up outing himself. He’s still pondering on the bridge. Elizabeth tells him he’s just having déjà vu. That everyone gets it and it’s just one of life’s mysteries.

The lab guy is going home. Carly calls Jason and gets voice mail. Why doesn’t anyone ever answer their phone? This is important! Of course she just says to call her back. I swear, nothing had better happen to her before she’s able to spill the Jason beans.

Dante says he made a promise to Sonny that he’d tell her everything. Lulu realizes that Nathan knew, and that Maxie didn’t because Maxie would have told her. Lulu breaks down crying and I want to cry too.

Dillon gets left by himself when Valerie, Nathan and Maxie basically tell him he’s a jerk and leave.

NOOOOO! I see it coming. I don’t want to look. And I hate Elizabeth with every fiber of my being.

Kiki is driving drunk and Carly is driving distracted, caught up in remembering the various times she talked to nuJason. You know the rest. I can’t even type it.

Maxie goes to Lulu. Dillon tells Valerie he did them all a favor and she’ll thank him later. Probably not.

Jason suggests that he and Elizabeth continue their make out session in bed at home. Elizabeth says it would be bad luck before the wedding and I wish her all the bad luck in the world.

You know how it ends. I can’t. I just can’t.

Below Deck

Last week, we (finally) said, “Bye, Felicia!” to Chef Leon. Chef Ben is back and I couldn’t be happier. Leon is even gone from the credits. Good. Go. Good-by. Go back to your K-Mart cruise line job.

Ben is checking out the pantry and he says it’s like a biohazard. He does a Gordon Ramsey and cleans the whole place. Amy says there’s some more than friends stuff going on between Ben and Kate.

Dave comes through the revolving deckhand door. He was on the first season and Boson Eddie is glad to see him back. I actually don’t remember much about him.

Rocky says Eddie is sending her mixed signals. No he’s not. He’s just sending the “go away” signal. She’s one of the most clueless people I’ve ever seen, and can’t seem to get why he’s not interested any more when she acted like a psychotic toddler in the last episode.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s Cynthia Bailey, is the primary guest. It’s going to be her birthday the first night. I’ve never really felt one way or the other about her, but her husband (who thankfully won’t be on the charter) thinks he’s one of the women on that show and likes to mix it up with them. Claudia from RHOA is also coming along. I liked her a lot and am sorry she’s not going to be on the show any more. Not to get off topic, but I heard Nene will be back. That was fast. Guess she isn’t the star she thought she was and she’s sticking to being a big rich bitch fish in a little pond. I was really not thrilled with her antics last season – for goodness’ sake, she made Kenya look like Mother Teresa – and I’m kind of sorry Bravo didn’t give her a time out and tell her to think about what she did.

The wind is howling, and there is no choice but to wait it out at the dock. Cynthia says she doesn’t want to be a diva, but wonders if they might have a birthday cake “laying around.” The place is already decorated, and Amy says that yachting 101 tells you to give the guests what they want before they know they want it.

Ben says Rocky is actually culinary trained (really?) and asks her to trim the muffin tops. What he means is to trim the excess around the edges, and she actually takes the top off. The best part of the muffin. The joke in our house is that my husband didn’t marry me for my cooking in the kitchen, but even I knew what he was saying. Lord, she is such a moron.

The ladies ask for Emile to feed them strawberries in a tank top and jeans. Huh? Yeah, that’s always been my fantasy too, said no one ever.  More guests arrive. I think it’s a little creepy that they just requested it to see if he would do it. Now get down on all fours and bark like a dog.

Dave is amused that Cynthia’s daughter (I think it is; she’s a teenager) is infatuated with Emile. Why? He acts like he’s 14, so that’s about right. One guest asks for chocolate Pop Tarts. Yeah, that’s what I always crave when gourmet food and a chef is available. Cynthia examines the storage area in her bathrobe and mistakes the crew’s quarters for closets. I guess they’re being down-to-earth, but I’d be pissed at someone getting in my bed and checking it out.

The guests filled up on the appetizers, and decide they’ll have the birthday dinner on the morrow. Ben isn’t happy, but he rolls with it. Unlike how Leon would have been.

Rocky eavesdrops on Eddie talking about her idiocy. Then says that thing I hate, that she “has feelings for” him. Well, I “have feelings for” her too, but I don’t think they’re the same ones she has for Eddie.

Commercial break. Ha-ha! I love the ad for Kraft Mac & Cheese where the guy is a collector and his kid wonders why he doesn’t take his toys out of the boxes or eat the Star Wars macaroni and cheese. I collect Barbies, and a child I once babysat for asked me why I didn’t take them out of the boxes and play with them. I told her “resale value,” and she looked at me like I had two heads. Like the kid in the commercial, I’m sure she thought it was a “room of lies.”

Rocky is complaining to Emile because she needs someone to be supportive. Oh, you mean the guy who you gave mixed signals to? Eddie says she was supposed to keep their trysts between them and obviously she’s not. Rocky tries to pry into Kate and Ben’s business. They both say that they’re friends who have had benefits, but they’re too much alike to have a relationship. Amy thinks they’re lying to themselves.

Everyone is drinking at 10 am. That’s too early for me, even on vacation. Then we’re on to the jet skis, which always mix well with alcohol. I would be swimming all the time if I went on one of these trips. They go to shore for lunch, and Emile comes along. They keep asking him his opinion about tchotchkes in the gift shop and it’s obvious he couldn’t care less.

The ladies want Southern comfort food for dinner (meaning food from the South, not the liquor) and I’m getting hungry. Cynthia takes a bunch of photos of herself in the wheelhouse, and Captain Lee does a few poses with the ladies. He says some guest requests are better than others. The guests would also like a cat, so Connie dresses up like one. I guess these people are having fun, but that just seems weird.

Kate and Ben are arguing about something insignificant, and Amy thinks they should just “go downstairs and take care of it,” meaning the sexual tension between them. Claudia says it’s like an “upscale barbeque,” and I concur. Ben visits the table and gets lots of compliments, and told he’s going to make them fat from the food they requested. Ben makes a gorgeous cake, even though it’s not chocolate. To me, if it’s not chocolate, it’s not worth it.

Eddie says his one mistake doesn’t define him, and is on the phone trying to make up with his girlfriend. They’ve had a lot of ups and downs with the long distance thing.

Teenage Girl says all the food is the best she’s ever had. This seems like it was a relatively easy-going charter. Amy says the only diva moments and drama only came from Kate and Ben. Although I really don’t think they behaved that badly.

Tip time! It’s 15 large, and everyone is happy. Especially Dave who says he’s missed the cash tips.

Ben says he doesn’t want fear from Rocky, but respect. He apologizes about being annoyed over the muffin tops. That’s nice, but seriously, a monkey would have known better. The crew goes out to dinner on shore. Connie says that Rocky is good at being a mermaid, but other than that, she’s annoying. And she’s being pretty annoying right now, being really loud with explaining drinks with dirty names.

When they get back to the boat, Eddie brushes her off. She says that even if he doesn’t want to be with her, he should at least respect her. No comment.

Next week, Rocky says she’s going crazy (I think she got there a while ago) and spills it to everyone about her and Eddie. Emile looks like he doesn’t react too well. Because he’s 14.

The People’s Couch Quote of the Week

Again, a toss-up.

Leah Remini doesn’t need a costume. She already survived the Scientology horror movie. — Scott while watching Dancing with the Stars, the Halloween episode.

She’s Crocodile Dundee’s daughter. — One of the Resnick girls, referring to Bindi Irwin on DWTS.

Stay tuned for If Loving You is Wrong with tomorrow’s post.

Aug25

August 24, 2015 — GH, the OC & Some Biermanns

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Nah. It’s not Nina who killed Silas. And it’s not “Breaking News” either – wtf with this interruption? The news comes on at 4, is this really necessary? If our shores are being attacked, please let me know, but don’t tell me about a bus crash/fire/shooting that you don’t even have the details on, that it’s still raining/snowing/sunny out, or give me a traffic report. I can guarantee you, that if I’m watching General Hospital, I’m not on the road.

A bit of Obrecht today. She’s become one of my favorite characters. Kathleen Gati is a wonderful actress, and I’ve especially loved her contributions to the Nurses Ball. My favorites have always been the villains – without whom we’d have no story – especially the ones who have what I call “the twinkle.” It’s that twinkle in the eye that tells you they’re having a great time playing this character, and they want you to come along for the ride. Faison also has the twinkle. A fan favorite, he refuses to die no matter how many times they kill him off. I was lucky enough to meet Anders Hove, once dubbed “the sexiest man in Denmark” (I concur), and he not only twinkles, he oozes old world charm. Having done a straight-to-video vampire series called Subspecies, I met him at a horror convention in NYC years ago. He was a guest along with Denice Duff, also a soap actress and his co-star in one of the films. Of course I brought a Soap Opera Weekly with me for him to autograph, but I wasn’t sure I was going to get it back, as he & Denice were having such a great time looking at the magazine. At the time, we were promised a prequel Subspecies film, the story involving the history of his character, Radu, prior to becoming a vampire. I was all for this, as I wanted to see him in a film where he wasn’t salivating blood throughout the whole thing. Alas, it never happened, but I still hold out hope. After all, Bruce Campbell finally seems to be accepting the fact that he is Ash, so anything can happen.

OMG – Franco just “confessed” to save Nina. And he didn’t do it either.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Let’s just get right to it. I can’t stand Meghan. It’s surprising that she doesn’t trip all the time, since her nose is so far up in the air. She married into money and it’s a good thing because she’s so brainless, I can’t imagine her functioning in the real world. Although she’s his 4th wife and he seems like a real cretin, so I’m guessing it won’t last. Good luck when your time runs out. What I hate the most is, like Brandi who was recently shown the door from the NY Wives, she seems to be obsessed with knocking the other women because they’re older than she is. Does she think she’s going to remain 30 forever? (Not to mention that all of these women are gorgeous. We should all be so lucky to look like them when we’re “old,” which apparently in Meghan’s mind is 40 to 50.)

Wait, who are those extra women at the end of the table? Oh good, Meghan is crying. Boo…hoo…hoo.

Meghan is one of those women who likes to stir the pot and step back to watch the fireworks. Then, when they’re called on it, they pretend they don’t know what on earth anyone is talking about. (Otherwise known as Tamra Jr.) In a nutshell, Vicki’s (the OG of the OC) boyfriend, Brooks, has cancer. Chemotherapy does not seem to be working for him, so he’s decided to go a different  route. A few of the ladies (sans Vicki) had lunch with a psychic who claimed he “couldn’t see” Brook’s cancer. He back pedaled somewhat afterward, but it was too late. Because Meghan is so freaking narrow-minded and stupid, she can’t comprehend that there might be an alternative treatment other than chemo. (If she says “I can’t wrap my head around it” one more time, I’m going to scream.) She decided to pass this info along to a couple of the other Wives who weren’t at the lunch and this greatly disturbed Shannon, who is also a big believer in alternative medicine. At a subsequent dinner with Vicki and Brooks to celebrate Brook’s birthday, Shannon didn’t exactly let the cat out of the bag, but close enough, and Vicki got pretty upset. When she (Vicki) found out what was actually said, she was none too happy with Meghan.  After receiving a text from Vicki, Meghan insists that it was the psychic who said it, not her, and she is completely innocent. (Excuse me while I choke on my lemon seltzer.) When the ladies all get together for a dinner later, sparks fly, and the episode ends with Meghan calling Vicki “a bitter old woman who’s mad at the world.” What is wrong with this girl? When I was 30, hell, when I was 20, I had the ability to understand that there were things outside the realm of my own experiences, and knew that I would one day age, gleaning from my elders rather than insulting them because they dared to get old. And for someone who claims they “own” everything they say or do, she’s better than Taylor Swift at shaking it off. I can’t wait until that tool of a husband dumps her and she has to get a real job. I’m going to laugh my ass off.

What is really despicable – and there are several Wives who do this – is when nasty comments are made under the guise of being “honest,” or even worse, “caring.”

Shannon’s birthday dinner doesn’t go much better. She and her husband are in counseling, trying to keep their marriage together after his affair. Not only is her birthday reminding her 50th the year before, where David went off to see another woman after “seeing” her, David takes her and their daughters to a sports bar for dinner. Not exactly Shannon’s cup of tea. I’ve heard these two are doing well now, and I’m very glad to hear it. While David is not a favorite of mine, I like Shannon. There are times when she can act batsh*t crazy, but she has reason to be emotional, and this is not the easiest bunch to deal with. I like her sense of humor and I honestly think she’s one of the most real of all the Wives.

Heather sure is having a big house built. The first thing I thought was, more house, more incentive to save junk you don’t need. I’m assuming they have household help, but I just don’t see having a house a mile wide. I’m not that good of a roller skater.

Don’t Be Tardy

Just a quickie here. I have a weird relationship with this show. Since Kim Zolciak (now) Biermann has spun off from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I remain ambivalent on one hand and hypnotized on the other. I constantly say I’m going to skip the show because my television plate is already too full, but I end up seeing one of the late night reruns (excuse me, encore performances) because I’m still up. And enjoying it.

I wasn’t that crazy about Kim when we first met her on the Wives. I was in agreement with Nene Leakes when she said the infamous words, “Close your legs to married men.” But Kim’s daughters seemed so well-adjusted, I knew she couldn’t be all bad. Adding husband Kroy to the mix confirmed that. Highly doubtful that he would have married her, had she been the gold-digging shrew The Wives portrayed her to be.

My hat’s off to the Biermanns. They seem like a lovely, loving family, captivating in the crazy way they function. I especially applaud Kim and Kroy’s parenting skills, and how they ride the fine line between spoiling the kids (because, face it, they have the bucks, so why not?) and keeping them disciplined and grounded.

Maybe that’s why I always end up watching them. Every family is dysfunctional, but they have a knack for making it function for them.