Tag Archives: Kim Zolciak

May 26, 2023 – Willow’s Transplant Begins, B&B Reunion, OC Coming Up, VanderNatter, Begging, Revelations, Who Is It, Fashion Cat, Half a Dozen Quotes Plus One & We Gotta

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny that Donna wants pancakes tomorrow, and he says, there’s plenty in the freezer. Carly tells him that Donna also wants to save some for Willow, and he says, it’s a great kid they’ve got. Carly’s phone rings, and she steps out to take it, leaving Sonny alone with the moss bowl🎍. Drew asks if there’s any word from the hospital, but Carly says, no, but they’re about to head over there because she wants to be there when Willow has her procedure. He says, of course (🍷). He’s sending good thoughts. She says, he’s not coming? and he says he thought he should stick around to see if he can dig up any dirt on Tracy to leverage Ned to use his influence on the SEC. She says, they’re going ahead with Plan A, huh? and he says, absolutely. There’s one way out of this, and they’re going to find it. She goes back in the kitchen, and Sonny tosses her a towel, and hands her a bowl to dry.

On the phone, Nina says, the patient’s name is Willow Corinthos… She is family. Nina Reeves. She’s Willow’s mother… Her daughter was scheduled to do a bone marrow transplant, and she just wants to see how she’s doing… She knows they can’t… There’s a knock at the door, and she says she’ll call them back. She tells them, thanks – she hangs up the phone – for nothing. She lets Diane in and says, Diane’s a lawyer. Diane agrees that she is, and Nina asks if there’s any way she can sue the hospital to get information on her daughter. Diane says she never – almost never – gives out free advice, but in this instance she will for the good of everyone involved. If Nina would like to find out about her daughter, ask her. Now will Nina tell Sonny that she’s here; he’s expecting her. Nina says, he’s not here. He had to share some news with Carly. Diane says, that’s right. May I? She says she heard congratulations are in order, and looks at Nina’s ring, adding, for the jeweler.

Anna meets Robert at the MetroCourt, and thanks him for making time in his busy schedule. He says, she made it sound important. Is it a business proposal? She says, personal. Holly. She’s trying to reach Holly, but she’s gone radio silent. Given their last conversation, she’s a little bit concerned something’s happened. Robert says, something has happened, and it’s all his fault.

Tracy says, that’s gratitude for you. After all she went through to get Brook and Chase back together. Olivia says, that explains the serenade on the terrace, and hugs Brook. She says she’s happy for Brook, and Ned says he’s glad Chase finally let Brook out of the doghouse. If only they could all be that lucky. Olivia says, it’s neither the time nor the place, and Brook says, Olivia still can’t think Ned is the one who blew the whistle on Carly and Drew, but Tracy says, of course (🍷) he did, and he deserves a medal. Ned says, no he doesn’t because he didn’t. Brook believes him. Why can’t his own wife? Drew comes in, and Olivia says she’d like to believe Ned. Drew says he’d like to believe Ned too. Just give him one good reason.

Sonny asks how the SEC situation with Carly and Drew is going (didn’t they just have this conversation?), and she says, they’re not going down without a fight. Sonny says his offer still stands. If she wants to turn him in to the Feds, she can. Just let him know what she’s going to do beforehand. She thanks him, but says, it’s too big of a risk, and he says, let him be the judge of that. She says, if the situations were reversed, would he turn her in? He asks what she thinks, when Josslyn walks in and asks, what’s he doing here?

TJ tells Willow that it’s not going to hurt. The donating was the hard part. The transplant itself isn’t that different from a blood transfusion. So all Willow needs to do is sit back and relax. Wiley knocks at the window, and says, hi mommy. Michael calls, and Willow asks, who is this, and how did you get my number? He says, her fan club misses her, but she says, not as much as she misses them. Wiley says he loves her, and she says, her too.

Ned asks how he could do this to Drew and Carly when Willow is so sick. The answer is simple; he couldn’t, and he didn’t. Drew says he would believe Ned, if he hadn’t threatened to do just that, and Olivia says, he’s right. Ned said he was going to do this. Ned tells her, he said he might consider it, which was an empty threat, but even if he had considered it, he never followed through with it. Brook says, that’s enough. Get back to their corners. Shame on Ned. And shame on Drew for focusing on the SEC and that whole mess. None of that matters compared to what Willow is facing today. Tracy says, exactly, and thanks Brook for reminding this family of what’s really important. Why can’t they come together instead of pulling each other apart? Olivia can’t believe this is what it’s come to, and Tracy says, when Brook is the voice of reason, no one is more surprised than she is. Olivia says, and Tracy being the voice of family unity, but Tracy says she’s always advocated for family unity. Drew asks if she didn’t withhold medication from Edward when he was having a heart attack (ha-ha!), and Brook says, she sure did. Ned says, famously, and Tracy says, if there was one person who could attest to her devotion to the well-being and the happiness and the harmony of this family, it would be her granddaughter. Olivia laughs, and says she gets it. Tracy got Brook and Chase back together, and now she wants Brook to feel like she owes her something. Tracy says, it’s not always quid pro quo. There are such things as altruism and sacrifice. Ned asks if Tracy is feeling well, but Olivia says, trust her. Tracy is feeling just fine. How exactly is doing right by her granddaughter’s heart a sacrifice? What exactly did she give up? Or by some chance did she stand to gain something. Brook says, of course (🍷) she’s grateful for her grandmother helping get her and Chase back together – Tracy says, Brook is more than welcome – but like her dad said, kindness in this house usually comes at a price. Ned says, whatever the price was, he hopes she can afford it, and Brook says, let’s just say she’s glad she’s back at work. Olivia asks, what work? and Brook says she’s back at Deception. Ned asks, what about her music? and she says, he knows she can’t sing anymore. He says he thought she was putting together a list of artists to manage. Things were going well, right? Why give that up?

Diane says, maybe she should just wait in the lobby until Sonny gets back, but Nina says, now that she and Sonny are engaged, she was hoping his friends can be her friends. Diane says she might just have to settle for cordial, and Nina says, in the spirit of cordiality, maybe they can get past their differences and try to get along. Diane says, their differences? Like the time she shredded Nina on the stand, and got a judge to deny her visitation to see her grandson? Nina says, Diane was doing her job; it wasn’t personal. Diane says, no, it wasn’t, and Nina says, the least she can do is admire Diane’s skill. Diane says, and she admires Nina’s, and Nina says she doesn’t think Diane is as cynical as she wants the world to believe. Diane says, Nina’s got her. She’s absolutely right. In fact, what Nina sees standing before her is the warm and fuzzy Diane. Nina says, let her just throw something out there. As one woman speaking to another… Diane says she’s going to be charging Sonny for this conversation, but Nina says, this isn’t legal advice. This is just a get to know ya thing. Diane says, now she’s charging him double, and I can totally see her in a Noel Coward play. Nina says she loves her job at Crimson, but it wasn’t until she was in Nixon Falls that she realized the magazine shouldn’t be her whole life. Diane asks if she’s considered a puppy, and Nina says she has a family, a small one; a daughter and two grandchildren who are in her thoughts. Is there someone in Diane’s? Is there anyone special in her life? If not, why? I’ve never thought of it before, but other than Max being a boyfriend for a time, we’ve never seen Diane’s family.

Carly says, Sonny stopped by to talk to Donna, and Donna insisted her daddy make her pancakes. I get distracted by the way they’re standing around the moss bowl🎍, and Josslyn asks if he told Carly that she stopped by his office. Carly says, he did; he did not tell her why. Sonny says, that’s because it was a private matter between Josslyn and him, and Josslyn says, she asked him for a favor, and he said no. Sonny says he told her to have her friend come to him, but they don’t need to rehash this. He’s got to go. He asks Carly to tell Michael and Willow that he’s praying for them, and she says she will. He leaves, and Josslyn says she thought there was a schedule for visitations. Carly says, there is, but some things need to be said face-to-face, and Josslyn says, like what? Carly says, like Sonny and Nina are engaged.

Wiley asks if Willow is coming home, and Willow says she’s going to do her best. TJ scraps his sterile jumpsuit, and Michael asks if there’s anything he can do to make things easier for Willow. TJ says, it looks like he’s already doing it. Seeing all of them is the best medicine she can get. Sasha joins them, and says, looks like a party. She takes the phone, and says, how’s the guest of honor? Willow says, just happy to see everybody, and Sasha suggests she keep the kids entertained so Michael can have some time with Willow. Michael asks if Wiley wants some playtime with Aunt Sasha, and Wiley says he’ll ask Amelia. He whispers to Amelia, then listens, and tells them, she says, yes. Sasha says, let’s do it, and TJ asks if he can join. Sasha says, the more, the merrier, and they leave. Willow thanks Michael for bringing them, and he says he didn’t have much of a choice; Wiley insisted. She says she’s so scared, and he says, him too. One thing he does know is, they didn’t make it this far, they didn’t go to hell and back just to lose each other now. She says she wishes she could kiss him one last time, and he says, she will, but it’s not going to be the last time. This is just the beginning.

Carly tells Josslyn that they need to get to the hospital. Willow’s procedure is starting soon, and she wants to be there for Michael. Josslyn says she doesn’t know if Michael wants to see her right now, and Carly asks, what’s going on? Josslyn says, they had a fight. And now Sonny wants to officially make Nina a member of the family that she set out to destroy? Carly says, first of all, this family is just fine, and Sonny and Nina being engaged is kind of a relief. Josslyn asks how Carly can say that, and Carly says, Sonny’s committed to Nina, and she’s committed to Drew. Josslyn says, so no harm, no foul? but Carly says, there was a lot of harm and a lot of foul, but it’s just like a clean break. Josslyn wonders why Sonny didn’t tell her when she was alone with him in his office, and Carly asks, why would he? He knows how she feels about Nina. Josslyn says she hasn’t made that a secret, and Carly says, the secret here is why Josslyn went to see Sonny in the first place. Josslyn says, she told Carly; she was asking him for a favor. Carly says, Dex, and Josslyn says, yes. She went to see him about Dex. Carly asks, why? Did she want Sonny to give Dex a raise? Josslyn says, no. She wanted Sonny to fire him.

Anna says, so Holly just left town without so much as a farewell, and Robert says, at least she didn’t have to fake an escape from the towering inferno, third degree burns, and hospitalization. This time it was just goodbye. Anna says, it never is just goodbye with the two of them though, is it? and Robert says, they decided you can’t recapture the past, no matter how much you might want to. And this time when they said their farewells, they really meant them. Anna takes his hand, and says, sorry. Did Holly tell him about Ethan? Robert says, yeah, and all the trouble he’s in, and she asks if Holly told him that she was willing to go back to the Bureau to pay off his debts. He says, apparently, she decided on a shortcut. A deal with the devil… Selina Wu. He told her there were alternatives; that he wanted to help. She doesn’t want him involved. Anna says, Holly’s protecting him, which proves she still does really care about him. He says, caring was never the issue, and she asks, what is the issue? Is her name Diane?

Diane tells Nina that she’s sorry. There seems to be some kind of confusion that she wants to dispel Nina of. They’re not friends, and as such, questions into her personal life and relationships are unwelcome. She knows Nina is going through a tough time, wanting to see Willow and not being able to do so. She feels for Nina. Nina say she gets it. She’s never been able to make friends very easily. Just so Diane knows, she’d be with Willow right now. She’d be in the hospital room if she didn’t owe Sonny so much. She didn’t want to run into Carly or Michael, and have another clash. She doesn’t want to make Sonny’s life more complicated than she already has. Diane says she admires that restraint, and just so Nina knows, she hopes Nina really does make him happy. Nina says she does, when Sonny walks in and asks if everything is okay. Diane says, yeah. Congratulations. Sonny says, thanks, and Nina asks how it went with Carly and Donna. He says he and Donna made pancakes, and Diane suggests they talk in private, but Sonny says he was going to tell Nina anyway. Diane says, there’s talk going around town, but Sonny already knows that, and Sonny says, it looks like the DOJ may have made Carly an offer. Nina asks if they’re pressuring Carly to turn on Drew, but Sonny says, no. They’re pressuring Carly to turn on him.

Drew says, it’s no secret how Brook feels about music. She must have had a compelling reason to go back to Deception. Brook says, after all the craziness with Linc, she was craving stability and a little less drama, and Ned says, but she really enjoyed being a manager, and she was damn good at it. Brook says she realized she wants to write music, not manage it, and working back at Deception allows her the freedom to do that. Drew says, she’s got romance, she’s got freedom, she’s got creativity. It’s almost like she has her own fairy godmother. He looks at Tracy, and Brook says, you could say that. Drew asks if Tracy doesn’t wish she had one. She could wish herself straight back to Amsterdam. Tracy says she could also buy a plane ticket, and everyone says, don’t let us stop you, in unison. Tracy says, wow. If she didn’t know better, she’d say her loving family couldn’t wait to get rid of her. Drew says, come on. They don’t feel that way… Do you? Everyone gives soap looks.

Tracy says, as much as she hates disappointing her loved ones, she has no plans on leaving any time soon. Don’t all cheer at once. Brook says she’s glad Tracy is here, and not just because Tracy helped get her and Chase back together. Tracy tells her that she’d say she did a little more than help, and Olivia says, and she has. Ned says, repeatedly, and Brook says, Tracy is always there when she needs her, even if it’s just to tell her no. Tracy asks when she’s ever denied Brook anything, and Ned says, this is all too much. Olivia says, on that happy note, she has to go. Big meeting at the MetroCourt. Tracy says, no words of reassurance for her mother-in-law? and Olivia says she has plenty of words for Tracy.

Ned follows Olivia out, and tells her that he’s not the one who turned them in. How can he convince her? Olivia says, as it happens, she ran into Carly at the MetroCourt last night. It was pretty tense. Carly was demanding to know why she didn’t kick him to the curb. He says, maybe because he’s her husband, and she says, and Carly’s her best friend. That’s not nothing. And asks much as she wants to believe him, the thing she can’t get out of her mind, he flat out accused Carly and Drew of insider trading, and the next thing anybody knows, somebody blows the whistle. He says, somebody, but not him.

Nina says, to think she felt sorry for Carly that she has to worry about Michael and Willow during all this, and now she’s going to throw Sonny under the bus to save herself? Sonny says, she won’t, but Nina asks how he can know that. Diane says she really thinks she and Sonny… but Sonny says, no. He wants Nina to hear it. It’s not the first time the Feds have come after him using someone who’s close to him. Nina says she knows Carly told him that she wouldn’t do it, but what else is she going to say? He’s making pancakes for the daughter he shares with her. She had to have been tempted. He says he told her that she should do it. The Feds come after him, he’s prepared. She made it clear she won’t do it. Nina says, what if the Feds come to Carly and make her choose between her children and him?

Michael tells Sasha that Willow’s asking for her, and she leaves. TJ says he should go check on the preparations. He’ll see Michael in a minute, and Michael sees Wiley coloring. He says he’s going to let Wiley in on a little secret. Color outside the lines. That hardly seems Michael type advice.

Carly asks if Dex wants out or does Josslyn want Dex out. Josslyn says, Dex wants out, and Carly says, then Dex can tell Sonny himself. Josslyn tells her, that’s what Sonny said, and Carly says, sounds like Sonny. What did Dex say? Josslyn says, he wasn’t happy about it at first, but… Carly says, he knew her heart was in the right place. Is this what’s going on with her and Michael? Josslyn says, Michael just doesn’t approve of her and Dex, and Carly says, overprotective big brother. Josslyn says, something like that, but if he needs them, that’s all that matters, and Carly says, he needs them. So let’s go.

Willow picks up the phone, and Sasha says, she rang? Willow says she did. She thought if anyone could understand, it was Sasha. She remembers when Sasha was in isolation. Sasha says she hated it, but she made it through, and so will Willow. Willow says, ever since she’s been in here, she’s felt like a soldier in a foxhole, and Sasha says, that just means Willow is a fighter, which they already knew. Willow says, it got her thinking. You hear about soldiers that with their last dying breath, call out for their mothers. If worse comes to worse, who does she call out for? The mother who raised her and turned out to be a fraud and a murderer, or the mother who gave birth to her and couldn’t stand her until she found out they were related? Sasha doesn’t need to answer that; she’s just being silly. Sasha says, it’s not silly. It’s just something she won’t know until it happens, and it’s not going to. Willow says, they don’t know that, but Sasha says, they know they’re in the homestretch. So don’t think about dying; think about living. Think about Michael and Wiley and Amelia. Think about all the people who love her so much, and need her. Today is just like any other day in her life, except she’s been given a great gift. Willow knows how precious life is, and how quickly it can disappear, so she can be the soldier who fights for every breath, for every second, and win. Willow says, no wonder Sasha was such a hit on TV. She can sell anything. Even hope.

Carly and Josslyn find Michael, and Carly asks if they missed the kids. Michael says, the nanny just took them home, but Wiley left him a crayon so he wouldn’t miss mommy. Carly says she loves Wiley, and she loves Michael so much. He says he loves her too, and they hug. He says, hi to Josslyn, and Carly says, everything is okay, right? Josslyn says, everything is fine. All that matters is that Willow gets better, right? Michael says, right.

Sonny says, Carly isn’t giving him up, and Nina says she’s sure he knows best. She has to go to the MetroCourt. She loves him. Just let her know how he is; let her know how Willow is. He says he’ll keep her posted. Willow is in good hands; so is he. Nina leaves, and Sonny tells Diane, go ahead. Tell him what she knows that he doesn’t.

Robert says, Holly’s a friend, and Anna says, he comes barging into her house, when she’s jetlagged and exhausted, demanding they talk. He bites Valentin’s head off, all because, she thinks, he’s love torn. He says he had a moment of weakness, but she says, no, he was flummoxed about how two bright, beautiful women could be interested in him. He says he wasn’t flummoxed or love torn, and she says, conflicted, confused, whatever. She thinks maybe Holly did him a favor by bowing out. Because while it might be disappointing not to have two women vying for his affections, on the bright side, he still does have one.

Olivia says she’s doing her best to stand by Ned. She knows how much ELQ means to him, and she knows how hurt he was when he felt pushed aside. He says he sided with Valentin because it was the right thing to do for ELQ. Yes, he lashed out when he thought the company – their family legacy – was being threatened by a hostile takeover, but he’s not a snitch and he’s going to prove it to her. She asks what he’s going to do, and he says, show her once and for all that he’s the man she married; a man deserving of her love and her trust. He kisses her, and she asks him to promise her that he’s not going to do anything stupid. She leaves, and Tracy says, that’s touching, but if he asks her, he’s wasting his time.

Drew says he gets the impression Brook is less than thrilled having her grandmother back, and she says she loves her grandmother, and owes her big time. He says, for helping her and Chase get back together, and she asks where he heard about that. He says, the tenth or eleventh time it was said, he picked up on it, and Brook says, she can be very generous, and he says, but? She says, but her grandmother’s generosity usually comes with a price.

Olivia asks if she’s late or Nina is early, and Nina tells her, let’s just say, we’re both here at exactly the right moment. Olivia says she’ll take it. She sees Nina’s ring, and says, that’s quite a rock. She sees why Nina and Sonny were in such a good mood last night. Nina says, they’re engaged, and Olivia says, congratulations. She wishes them every happiness, and Nina thanks her. She says, in case Olivia was wondering, Sonny already told the news to Carly and Donna, and they all made pancakes together. Olivia says, so Carly’s taking it in stride, and Nina says, apparently. She’s sure Carly will tell Olivia how she really feels, given how close they are. Olivia says, not anymore. Carly can’t understand why she hasn’t kicked Ned to the curb for what he did to her and Drew. Nina asks, what did Ned say? and Olivia says, Ned swears up and down he didn’t turn them in to the SEC, and Nina asks if Olivia believes him. Olivia says she’d really like to, but she keeps asking herself; if Ned didn’t do it, who did?

Diane says, it’s just a rumor, but Sonny said himself, it’s not the first time the Feds have come after him using someone close to him, and who’s closer to him than Carly? Sonny asks if the rumors say who gave up Carly and Drew, and Diane says, no. The insider trading tip was anonymous, but there’s a strong suspicion that it was Ned Quartermaine. He tells her, that’s what Carly says, but why would Ned do that to Carly and Drew a year after the fact? Now that the Feds are involved, he thinks Carly and Drew are just a means to an end. Diane says, so he thinks the Feds have been monitoring him, and saw Drew and Carly mess up, and pointed the SEC in her direction in order to pressure her to flip on him? That would mean there was no insider tip, and this whole thing was just an excuse to get this investigation rolling. That means the SEC is doing the Justice Department a favor. Sonny says, maybe, but he’s not letting Ned off the hook just yet, because he’s more than capable of stabbing Drew and Carly in the back. Do him a favor. Find out how and why the Feds got involved. Anything she can come up with. She says she’s pretty much exhausted all her resources, and he says, what about the DA? She says, Robert Scorpio? Why would the District Attorney of Port Charles have any information as to the government’s investigation? He says, it’s no secret that Robert has strong ties to DC through the Bureau, and she asks, what makes him think Robert would tell her? He says, because she’s the best. She has a way of being persuasive. She says she has to go, and he says, to see Carly? She says, confidential. She can’t possibly tell him. And as for Robert Scorpio, she’ll think about it. Before she goes, he tells her, don’t think too long. She leaves, and Sonny tells the guard, bring the car around now.

Carly and Josslyn come to the window, and Michael says, more of Willow’s fan club. Carly takes the phone, and says, they just want to tell her how much they love her. Josslyn says, she’s the best sister-in-law ever. Willow says, back at her, and TJ says he’s sorry, but he means it this time. Everyone leaves except Michael, and he says he had a speech planned, all these things he was going to say, but right now all that matters is she knows how much he loves her. She says she loves him too, and he leaves. She hangs up the phone, and tells TJ that she’s ready.

Robert tells Anna that as far as he knows, Diane isn’t interested anymore, beyond them sparring in court. Diane comes in, and Anna says, why doesn’t he ask her? She’s going to take her cue. She leaves, and Diane and Robert look at each other.

Nina says, for what it’s worth (🍷), she’s sorry Olivia has cause to doubt Ned, and Olivia says, her too. Nina tells her, she can’t believe she’s saying this, but poor Carly and Drew to be put in this position, and Olivia says, what position? Nina says, it’s just rumors; she shouldn’t have said anything. Olivia says, where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and knowledge is power. Why doesn’t Nina tell her the rumors, and she’ll decide for herself if she wants to believe them. Nina tells her, like she said, it’s just talk, but it seems like the government is using Carly and Drew’s legal problems to get to Sonny.

In the foyer, Ned asks if Tracy is home to stay, and she asks if that would be a problem. He says, of course (🍷) not, but you know what they say about idle hands. She says, don’t worry. She knows how to stay busy. He says, that’s what he’s afraid of.

Brook says, what makes Drew think he owes Tracy anything? and he says, maybe because she was trying so hard to sell everybody on the joys of being back at Deception. She says she loves her job; it’s steady and plays to her strengths. He says he knows what music means to her, writing it and managing artists, so if anything or anyone is making her choose… Tracy comes in and says she needs to borrow her granddaughter, and Drew leaves, turning to look at Brook before going out the door.

Sasha says, Willow may look fragile, but she’s tough as nails, and Michael thanks her for coming. She asks him to call her when Willow’s awake, and leaves. Josslyn says, Sasha’s right. Willow is unstoppable. Carly tells Michael that he and Willow love each other like crazy. Now there’s Wiley and Amelia, and their love is stronger than ever. Don’t forget that. She hugs him, and Sonny walks in.

TJ asks if Willow is ready, and she says she can’t wait. He tells her, like he said before, all she needs to do is sit back and relax. Let the bone marrow do its thing. If all goes well, she’ll have nothing but healthy cells in her body, and a whole new lease on life. The transplant begins, and Willow flashes back to bringing Amelia home, and telling Wiley that Amelia will need his help.

On (presumably) Tuesday, Curtis says he has two choices, give up or give in; Portia says she has other options; Spencer says, it’s funny how your life can change in an instant; and Drew says, the less someone knows, the better.

🕺🏻 Still Duke To Me…

He’s allowed in the clubhouse since he was once on GH.

🍊 What Happens In the OC…

Frankly, I was glad to see Tamra go. Now we have to watch her very lit throughout the season. Cringing at the thought.

🍸 Welcome To the Cheap Seats…

He’s not just the most awful human being on earth, a title once only held by Jax, he’s also an idiot.

Another genius and more tidbits.

About that open relationship thing.

Brittany deserves to be heard. Apparently she tamed the previously reigning king of awful people. Maybe. We’ll see.

🍑 Will Work For Hair Extensions…

I could definitely see her at the casino. It kind of bummed me out when the news of their divorce broke. Surprisingly, I liked their Don’t Be Tardy show with its kookie family vibe. Oh well.

👨🏻‍💼 Likes and Dislikes…

Andy reveals all. Well, some anyway.

⚰️ Guessing Game…

Something to ponder.

🐈‍⬛ Karl’s Furry Muse…

It’s not always about the dog… although it should be. (Just kidding. Kind of.)

🐡 Quotes of the Week

Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don’t really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. Ends are not bad and many ends aren’t really an ending; some things are never-ending. – C. JoyBell C.

When you’re through changing, you’re through. – Martha Stewart

The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.René Descartes

If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. – Edmund Burke

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.Albert Einstein

Animals are such agreeable friends — they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. – George Eliot

🪦 By hero, we tend to mean a heightened man who, more than other men, possesses qualities of courage, loyalty, resourcefulness, charisma, above all, selflessness. He is an example of right behavior; the sort of man who risks his life to protect his society’s values, sacrificing his personal needs for those of the community. Paul Zweig

🙃 And In Confusion…

Enjoy your long weekend if weekends are on your agenda in this new world. If not, enjoy whatever you want to call it. Join me on Monday really Tuesday for what’s on Deck and a reunion of awful Summer people – GH will be a rerun. Until then, stay safe, stay not chewing with your mouth open, and stay remembering, it’s not always quid pro quo. There are such things as altruism and sacrifice.

February 24, 2023 – Heather Has One Condition, New Wife, All By Herself, Sharing, Trial Desire, Two Pairs, Shady Scheana, First World Problems, Edit Err, Pets (!), Teetering On 10 Quotes & Mountain

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Esme holds her baby, who looks suspiciously like Baby Amelia. She says she doesn’t remember much, but she knows she’s his mommy. They have each other and that’s all that matters. Heather comes in, wearing an orange jumpsuit, and says, there’s her baby girl and her new baby. Esme says, Heather shouldn’t be here, but Heather says she’s Esme’s mother; where else would she be? Esme picks up the nurse call button, but Heather stops her, and says, Esme doesn’t want to interrupt family time. She can’t wait to start spoiling her little grandson. In fact, she’s starting right now. She reaches for the baby, and Esme sits up with a start. The guard lets Laura in, and she asks if Esme is okay. Esme asks, where’s Heather? and Laura says, she’s in custody at the police station. Esme says, please don’t let her take my baby away.

Spencer points to a baby through the nursery window, and tells Sonny, that’s his baby brother. He’s handsome, isn’t he? Sonny asks if the little guy has a name, but Spencer says, not yet. Sonny asks if Spencer is still suing for custody, and Spencer says he may not have to now that his father has disappeared.

Dex tells Josslyn that he was hired to find evidence that would put Sonny away once and for all, but he’ll tell his employer that he’s out if that’s what she wants. She says, it’s not her decision to make, but he says, let’s not make this about Sonny; let’s make this about you and me. (Huh? It’s all about Sonny.) She hates that he’s working for Sonny. How does she feel about him working against Sonny? (What I said.)

Elizabeth looks at a photo of the boys, and remembers Scotty chastising her for letting Nikolas talk her into his cockamamie plan. Cameron comes in, and she says she wasn’t expecting him this morning. He asks if she’s as freaked out as he is about Esme.

Ava asks the reception nurse if Austin is allowed to have visitors, and Mac asks why she wants to see Austin. She says, why would she want to see the man who nearly bled to death on her living room floor? Does that really seem so strange? He says, that depends. Felicia said Ava encouraged her to leave Austin behind when Heather said they could go. She says, so they could get him help, and he says, but instead, she went after Ryan with a gun. (Really, Mac? Does any of that sound strange?) She says, Austin didn’t need both of them to get him help, and she needed to confront the man who made her life a living hell. Mac’s the one who ultimately killed Ryan. He says, the world’s a better place now that Ryan Chamberlain’s dead, and she says, they agree on something. Is Mac done? He says he has a few more questions. Why don’t they start with why Austin was on Spoon Island in the first place.

Robert congratulates Jordan on catching Heather. He can assure the public that their safe, that The Hook killer’s been caught, and that she’s going away for good. She says, her people have already made progress, when Dante walks out, and says, Heather is ready to make a statement. Scotty walks in, and says, hey, Mr. D.A., but Robert asks if it can wait. Scotty says he’s about to make Robert’s life a whole lot easier.

Jordan and Robert go into the interrogation room, and Jordan says, Dante told her that Heather wants to make a statement. Heather says she does. She’s done some very bad things that she’s ready to confess. Jordan says, Heather wants to confess to The Hook attacks without a lawyer present, and Heather says she only wants to unburden her soul. Dante sets up the recorder, and tells Heather, it’s her right to have an attorney present, but she says she doesn’t want an attorney. She just wants to tell the truth. Jordan tells her, start talking, but Heather says she does have one condition.

Scotty tells Robert that he has a client with information about The Hook attacks, and they want to make a deal.

Cameron asks how long Elizabeth thinks Esme has known Ryan and Heather are her parents, but she says she has no idea. He says, she realizes, if Heather is Esme’s mom, that makes her Franco’s half-sister. When Esme moved to Port Charles, he really tried to give her a chance because Spencer was so into her. Does Elizabeth think she was working with Ryan when she was interning at Spring Ridge? Elizabeth says, before she lost her memory? and he says, what if she’s been faking this whole time? He wonders if Joss knows about everything that’s happened.

Josslyn tells Dex, Sonny was in her life for a very long time. Not as a father – she had one obviously – but as a stepfather. They were a family. Dex says, he was good to her, and she says, he was, when she was little and didn’t know about his business. He says, Sonny still considers her family. It’s one of the reasons Sonny thinks he’s not good enough for her. She says, like he has the right to judge anyone after what he’s done? He had Dex beaten and tortured, and Sonny’s hurt so many people, she can’t even count. Where does he get off thinking he’s better than anyone else? The hypocrisy of it all. He asks if that means she wants him to see it through, and see that Sonny goes to prison.

Sonny asks what Spencer means, and Spencer says he doesn’t know what to think anymore. How can someone just walk out on their child? He doesn’t even mean himself at this point. How can someone walk out on an innocent baby? Sonny says, Spencer’s not responsible for his father’s actions. Spencer can’t fix his messes. Spencer says, someone has to. His baby brother has an absent father, and a mother who’s in police custody. That little guy must feel all alone in the world. Sonny says, they can fix that.

Laura tells the guard that he can leave them alone, and tells Esme that she had a nightmare. Esme wishes that’s all it was; that she hadn’t been forced to break out of Spring Ridge, and her parents weren’t serial killers. Laura says, unfortunately, that is true, but she told Esme, Heather is in custody, and can’t hurt her. Esme asks, where’s her baby? and Laura says, in the nursery. He got a perfect bill of health despite his impromptu entrance into the world. Esme says, thank God, and thank Laura and Dr. Collins for helping bring her baby into the world. Laura says she feels lucky that she could be there for her grandson’s birth, and Esme says she just realized, she has a son. Laura asks if Esme wants her to arrange for the baby to visit, but Esme says, no; he should stay away. Laura asks, why? and Esme says, it’s not safe. Her parents are killers. For all she knows, she could be a killer too.

Heather says, what she wants is pretty simple, and Dante says, if she cooperates fully, they’ll see about her request. She says, he knows that’s not how it works, but he says, she doesn’t know how anything works, and grabs the recorder. Jordan gets up, and says, waste of time, but Heather says, fine. What do they want to know? Dante puts the recorder back, and asks if she attacked Ava in August, and she says, yes. He asks if she attacked… She says, it’s going to take all day. She’s The Hook, okay? Anyone stabbed with a hook, it was her. Jordan says, they need details, and Heather says, Ava Jerome, with a hook, at the Quartermaines. Brando Corbin, behind Charlie’s with a hook, except that was a mistake; she was really after Josslyn Jax for making her daughter’s life so miserable. Diane Miller, in the garage. The bartender, Oz Haggerty, at the docks. Nikolas Cassadine, with a hook… Dante says, wait a second, and Jordan says, she attacked Nikolas Cassadine?

Ava tells Mac, that’s one of the reasons she’s here. She wants to ask Austin how he’s doing, and why he came to Windymere last night. Mac says he didn’t know they were friends, and she says, friendly perhaps. Austin treated her after Heather attacked her at the Quartermaine picnic, but she wouldn’t say they bonded over it. He thanks her for her time, and she says she just can’t wrap her head around the fact that Spencer’s girlfriend from boarding school is Ryan and Heather’s daughter. He says, quite a coincidence, but she says, it isn’t at all. Ryan told her that he sent Esme to that boarding school specifically to ensnare Spencer. Ryan was intent on splitting her and Nikolas up, and he succeeded. Mac says, maybe now that the truth has come out, she and Nikolas can find their way back to each other.

Dante asks when Heather attacked Nikolas, but she says she doesn’t know. In the fall? It was breezy. Jordan asks where it happened, and Heather says, at Windymere. It wasn’t her finest hour; he escaped without a scratch. He’s still breathing, unlike that doctor on New Year’s Eve. Dante asks if Britt was a target, but Heather says, no. She appeared out of nowhere, and decided to play hero, and again, Josslyn Jax escaped. Everyone stood between her and protecting her little girl. Jordan says, about Officer Cabrera. A keepsake from one of Ryan’s victims was found on Rory’s person. How did it get there?

Mac asks if Ava has heard from Ryan, but she says, no, and she doesn’t expect to. Things between them had gone too far, and she’s accepted that she’s lost Nikolas for good. Ryan’s destroyed her life, again. Mac says, at least it’s for the last time, and she says she has him to thank for that. She’s just sorry she didn’t kill the bastard herself. He says, after everything Ryan has put her through, killing him would be self-defense under any circumstances, and she says, he has no idea what Ryan has taken from her.

Obviously not having read The Invader, Scotty tells Robert that his client has information on the PCPD’s number one suspect, the one and only Esme Prince. Robert says, keep going, and Scotty says, his client knows Esme’s whereabouts before she showed up at the Haunted Star, soaking wet, with child and no memories. Robert says, so this client will only divulge said information if Scotty makes deal? and Scotty says, that’s why he’s here. Robert says, if this client knows what they know because they’re an accomplice to the crime, he should be telling them to turn themselves in, and he walks away.

Elizabeth asks if Cameron has spoken to Josslyn recently, but he says, no, and he doesn’t plan to. She says she knows the break-up really hurt him, but they’ve been friends their entire lives. He says he feels like that makes it worse, and she asks if he’s hoping they can be friends again someday, but he says, with what Josslyn did… She’s not the person he thought. Maybe she never was.

Josslyn says, it would be easier to figure out how she feels about this, if Dex would tell her who he’s working for, but he says he can’t. She asks, why not? and he tells her, all he can say is, he trusts his employer. She says, and this mystery person wants to take Sonny down, and he says, it’s the whole reason he’s here. She asks how close he is, and he says he doesn’t have any solid evidence yet, but Sonny’s about to get involved with some people in arms trafficking. The plan is for him to get some evidence and turn it over to his real boss, who will turn it over to the Feds. She says her first instinct is to tell him, do it. No one’s forcing Sonny to break the law, and he’d just be reporting what he saw. But if this goes wrong, and he gets caught, that’s on him, not his mystery boss. What happens if he calls the whole thing off? Does he have to work for Sonny for real? Sonny’s not going to let him just walk away.

Esme tells Laura that Heather and Ryan want her baby for themselves. They were talking about all of these plans… Laura says, Heather is locked up, but Esme says, Heather has a revolving door in and out of Spring Ridge, and Ryan… Laura says, Ryan is dead. She’s sorry. He died last night on Spoon Island. Esme says, good. He was a monster, and she’s glad he’s dead. She was terrified of that man. Laura says, what about Heather? and Esme says, Heather kept saying she wanted to protect her, but she’s so crazy. She’s the offspring of two monsters, so she must be a terrible person. Oh my God. She did all of those things she’s accused of; the revenge porn and trying to kill that man. Laura asks if she remembers doing those things.

In the nursery with the baby, Sonny tells Spencer that his family has every right to meet this baby. Spencer says, all he wants to do now is protect him from the world, and Sonny says, it’s the most amazing thing. Spencer asks if Sonny thinks his father felt like this when he was a baby, and Sonny says he guarantees it. Spencer says, that’s good. That means he has to come back now that his new son is here. How could he stay away knowing what he’s missing? Sonny asks if Spencer is changing his mind, and Ava peeks in the window.

Laura asks if Esme remembers her past, but Esme says, no, sorry. Her memory of before she showed up on the boat is still a blank. Laura asks why she said she was guilty, and Esme says, with parents like Heather and Ryan, how could she not be? Laura says, you’re not destined to be bad no matter who your parents are. Does she think her baby is bad? Esme says, no, he’s completely innocent. She doesn’t know what’s going to happen to him. If she’s found guilty, she’s going straight back to prison. Laura says she hasn’t stood trial yet; let’s not jump to conclusions. Esme asks, where’s Nikolas? Why isn’t her baby’s father here?

Heather says, when she discovered she was pregnant with Esme, she left Ryan. She took this chain of trophies he had as insurance, in case he ever decided to come after her. Dante says, that was twenty years ago. How does Cabrera end up with it? She says she wore the chain during The Hook attacks because she was getting justice for their daughter. She just thought it was fitting. Dante tells Jordan, that’s the sound Josslyn heard when Brando was attacked in the alley, and Jordan says, Brando heard it too. Heather says, Cabrera surprised her. They tussled a bit, and in the struggle, he managed to grab one of the trophies off the chain, but she didn’t realize it until she got back to Spring Ridge. Jordan says, so she’s confessing to murdering six people, and attacking four others? but Heather says, it was five, not six. Brando, Oz Haggerty, the venom guy, Rory Cabrera, and that doctor, whatever they said her name was. Dante says, what about Corrections Officer Williams, who was stabbed to death when she and Ryan escaped? but Heather says, she didn’t kill him; that was Ryan. He stabbed Williams. He planned the escape. He forced her and Esme to go with him. They can’t pin this on her.

Dex says he can’t just tell Sonny that he’s not cut out for this, not without him getting suspicious, and Josslyn says, if Sonny had any idea Dex was working against him… He says, Sonny would kill him, and she says, he’s right; Sonny can never know. He says, so either he keeps working for Sonny, or he has to leave Port Charles. She asks if Dex’s mystery boss would be okay with him quitting, and he says, not okay. He’s gone to a lot of trouble to set this up (what trouble; the occasional phone call to Dex?), and he’s close to getting what he wants. But if Dex tells him that he wants out, he’ll let Dex go. She says, but that doesn’t solve anything. He wouldn’t have to spy on Sonny anymore, but he’d still have to work for Sonny; smuggle arms and commit crimes, hustle coffee or whatever it is. And if he gets caught… Dex says, he goes to prison, and she says, as long as he stays in Port Charles, he’s trapped. I guess Dex can’t possibly get another job? Like a normal one?

Cameron tells Elizabeth that he couldn’t have predicted in a million years that Josslyn would hurt him the way she did. It makes him feel like he never knew her at all. She says, it always hurts when someone you love lets you down, but it doesn’t negate what the two of you had. People make mistakes all the time – big ones – but all you can do is come clean, and deal with the consequences. He asks if they’re still talking about him and Joss.

Scotty tells Robert, his client got involved in a crime that was already in progress, and they would like to make things right, and testify against the real perpetrator. Robert tells him, say more, but Scotty says he needs to hear the deal. Robert says he needs more information, and Scotty says, his client is a good person, not a criminal. They got mixed up in some bad business. So Robert can go after a person who made a mistake, or go after the real felon.

Spencer comes out, and says, Ava’s not here to see… He doesn’t mind if she is; he’s just surprised. She laughs, and says, actually, she’s here to see him. She saw him with the baby though. Cute. He’s a natural. He thanks her, and asks what she wanted to see him about. She takes it he knows Ryan was Esme’s father, and he says, yes, and Heather Webber was her mother. Odd how something can come as a perfect shock, yet make perfect sense. She says she thinks they all felt that way, and he says, is that it? but she says, not quite. Esme and Ryan knew who they were to each other. He says, since Esme came to Port Charles? and she says, since before he met her. Ryan sent Esme to that school in France to get close to him. He asks if she’s saying Ryan sent Esme to France to seduce him in some long game to break up her and Nikolas. That’s good. She says, think about it. Whose idea was it to come to Port Charles and stalk her? Was it his, or was it Esme’s?

On the phone, Mac tells Jordan that he spoke with Ava, and he’s about to question Esme Prince. Jordan says, check Esme’s answers against what Heather told them, and he says he thinks once he talks to Esme, they’ll have a clearer picture about what happened on Spoon Island.

Laura says she doesn’t know where her son is, and Esme says, he came to see her at Spring Ridge to try and get her to sign her rights to the baby over. Why isn’t he here now? Laura says she wishes she knew, when Mac walks in, and Esme says she remembers him from the roadside outside the prison. He stopped to help them, then Ryan hit him over the head. Is he okay? He says he’s fine, thanks. He’s Chief of Detectives Mac Scorpio, and he has some questions. Esme says, Heather and Ryan kidnapped her. They forced her to escape. Ryan even killed a guard right in front of her. He asks if Heather helped him, but she says, no. The guard was questioning her and Heather, and Ryan snuck up behind him and stabbed him in the back; it was horrible. Then Heather told her that she had to do what Ryan said, or he’d hurt her. He asks if Heather seemed scared of Ryan, and she says, not really. He asks, what happened next? and she says, Heather let them out of the prison. Laura asks, whose idea was it to escape? and Esme says she’s not sure. She thinks Heather and Ryan were planning it together, but Heather was the one who knew her way out of Spring Ridge.

Dante says, they know Heather and Ryan were working together. They were planning this escape for months. Heather says, no, no, no, no. She didn’t even know Ryan could walk and talk until Esme showed up at Spring Ridge. He never even told her that he could. They’ve got to believe her. He showed her that he’d been faking his condition when Esme showed up just because he wanted her help with getting Esme out. Dante says, which she was more than happy to provide, but she says, Ryan terrified her. She had to do what he said. Jordan tells her, he isn’t saying anything; he’s dead.

Spencer says, Esme was always going on and on about how Ava pushed him out of his father’s life, and said he should push back. She encouraged him to get revenge. Ava wonders if he ever asked himself why Esme cared so much. She was no one to Esme, and they had the kind of life teenagers dream of. They had Europe at their fingertips. Wouldn’t living his best life have been the best revenge? He says, apparently not. Esme was determined to get him back here. Ava says, because Ryan ordered her to do all of that, and look what happened. She and Nikolas are divorced, and he and his father are more estranged than ever. It was Ryan. Ryan played them all. (Way to get Esme and Spencer off the hook. No pun intended.)

Heather says, thank God, and Dante tells her, give it a rest. She wanted Ryan gone so he can’t contradict her narrative. They know she gave Ava a gun, and sent Ava after Ryan. Heather says, Ava killed Ryan? and Jordan says, no, but she shot him in self-defense. Heather says, of course (🍷) it was self-defense. After everything he’d done to her; running her life, killing her daughter. Ryan was a cold-blooded murderer. Dante says, unlike her, and she says she was just a mother protecting her child. Jordan says, a child she abandoned, and Heather says, because she wanted to give her a better life. But she never stopped missing her. When Esme arrived in Port Charles, she was overjoyed. Then she saw what Esme’s life had become. She saw Trina Robinson’s attempts to humiliate and destroy her. What else could she do? She had to defend her family. Dante says he feels for her, and she says she’s told them everything she knows; she’s confessed to The Hook murders. Can’t they just grant the one little thing she asked them? Otherwise, she can always recant. Who’s going to trust the word of a crazy person anyway?

Laura asks what Sonny is doing at the hospital, and he says, looking after her grandsons, both of them. Congratulations, by the way. She thanks him, and he asks if she was with Esme. She says she was, but now Mac’s questioning her, and he asks if there’s anything he should know. She says she doesn’t think so; not yet. Is Spencer at the nursery? He says, yeah. Spencer’s been here all morning doing the big brother thing; he’s good at it. She says she doesn’t know if he heard, but Ryan died last night, and he says he heard the good news. He also heard Heather Webber killed his cousin Brando. She says, it would appear that way, and he says, that’s a mistake going after his family, but she says, let the justice system do what it does. He says, she knows him. He just protects the people he loves.

Dex tells Josslyn, option one. Say he disappears from Port Charles. Sonny might come looking for him, but he can cover his tracks. She says, if Sonny can’t find him, neither can she, and he says, not for a while anyway. She says she’s not liking option one, and he says, him neither. He says, option two. He tells his real boss that he’s out. He keeps working for Sonny, legitimately following his orders, but Sonny told him that he can’t go near Josslyn. They would have to hide that they’re together indefinitely. She says, marginally better than option one, but not by much. He says, option three. He sticks with the original plan, and gets evidence on Sonny. He turns it over to his real boss, who turns it over to the Feds, Sonny goes to prison, and he’s in the clear. She doubts it will be that easy, and he says, probably not, but it’s the only option that gives him what he really wants; a chance to stay here, a chance to be with her, free of Sonny. She says, option three it is, and he says, option three, kissing her. He says, no matter what happens, he can’t walk away from her, and she says she doesn’t want him to. Um… For all Josslyn’s talk on how she cares so much about her sisters, how come Donna and Avery, and the effect this might have on them, hasn’t been mentioned once?

Elizabeth’s phone rings, and she asks what he said… Yeah, she’s sure. She’ll be right there. She tells Cameron that she has to go, and he asks if everything is okay. She says she loves him, and jets.

Spencer admits he didn’t think Ava knew him so well, but she’s right. He didn’t want any of this to happen until he met Esme, and she used his resentment toward Ava to talk him into stalking her. He owns up to what he did, his part of it, but the escalation – putting the bear on Avery’s bed, setting Ava’s car on fire, putting Kiki’s hospital ID badge next to the wreckage – that was all Esme. He didn’t even know it was done until it happened. Ava says she believes him. All that misery because Ryan couldn’t stand her being with someone else. He says he can’t believe he was so blind, and she says, they all were. They were all blind, and used, and manipulated… He says, manipulated or not, he did Ryan’s dirty work for him. Spencer suddenly looks terrified, and says, he drove his father away, but Ava says, no, it wasn’t him. Nikolas would still be here if not for Ryan Chamberlain.

Mac asks, when was the last time Esme saw Ryan? and she says, he was in the woods with Ava Jerome; she had a gun on him. He was focused on Ava, so she made a break for it. Is she okay? He says, Ava’s fine, and she asks Mac to tell Ava thank you for helping her get away from Ryan. he says he’ll pass along that message. He thanks her for the information, and says, if he has anything more to ask… She lifts up her arm, showing she’s cuffed to the bed, and says, he knows where to find her. He congratulates her on the birth of her son, and she says, before he goes, maybe he could tell her what’s going to happen to her and Ace. He says, Ace? and she says, her baby. He says, she named her baby Ace? and she says, it just came out. Sounds right to her for some reason. Ace? Where did that come from?

Jordan asks if Dante believes Heather, and he says he does. Robert joins them, and says he may have additional answers on this hook business. Baldwin has a client who says she knows what Esme was doing at the time she went missing. Jordan asks, who? when Scotty walks in with Elizabeth, and says he thinks they all know his client.

Laura tells Sonny, she’s glad Spencer is spending time with his baby brother, because he really needs something positive to focus on right now. Sonny says he feels Spencer needs the baby as much as the baby needs him, and Laura’s phone dings. He asks if everything is okay, but she says, no. She’s got to go. She jets, and he follows her.

Josslyn tells Dex that she’s got to go back to her family, and needs to talk to Trina. It’s been a crazy couple of days. (Boy, does she have some news to catch up on.) He says, people need her, and she says, she needs him. So do whatever he has to do, but watch his back. Option three only works if he’s alive at the end of it. He promises to be careful, they kiss, and she leaves.

Laura and Sonny go to the nursery, and Laura asks Spencer, what’s wrong? He says he messed up, and she says, take a deep breath, and tell her what’s going on. He says, because of him, he and his baby brother no longer have a father. It seems even in death, Ryan Chamberlain wins. Laura says, they’ll find his father, and when they do, they’ll explain to him what took place here, and she’ll talk some sense into him. Until then, take a look around him. He’s not alone. Sonny’s here, she’s here… Sonny says, always, and she says, he and his brother are going to have more support than they know what to do with. Ava slips away.

Mac goes into Esme’s room, and asks if she’s sure about this. She nods, and the guard brings Heather in. Heather sort of smiles, but Esme just looks at her blankly.

On Monday, Dante tells Molly that they need to start that search immediately; Laura tells Spencer to think before he acts; and Curtis asks how long Jordan has known Trina might be his daughter.

👠 For Now…

She’s the only one I like at this point on RHONJ, but give it time.

https://www.bustle.com/entertainment/rachel-fuda-from-rhonj-husband-family-instagram-bio

👰🏻 All About the Love, But Alone…

Are you kidding me? She had the option of her brother walking her down the aisle, and decided to be the turd that she is. My father passed away before I got married too, and my sister walked me down the aisle. Teresa just wanted to give Joe #2 another slap in the face and get more attention for herself.

🧉 The Unending Grope…

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Anyone who could slap LVP in the face could do anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if she drank the blood of virgins to help her face fillers last. Although I would be surprised if she could find one in L.A.

💎 What Victims…?

You can’t squeeze blood from a turnip, but I’ll bet she has bags that cost more than my house. And being an entertainer with a 12th grade education doesn’t mean you don’t know how many zeros are on the check.

🏖  Summer Lovin’…

Paige might be close to one of the normal ones if she wasn’t attached to ticking time bomb Craig.

Great. The only genuinely normal one. Let’s hope Austen isn’t her rebound. Or anyone else who enters the house for that matter.

🍸 Passing the Shade…

She is clueless when it comes to Girl Code. And did she watch this week’s episode? She pushed.

🎰 Showing Her Cards…

Gambling has never been my jam. I went to Atlantic City once to see a show, and played the slots for a few hours first – back when they were actual slot machines and somewhat exciting. I’d gotten a certain amount of rolled coins from the bank, and decided that would be the only amount I’d play with. I came home a quarter shy. Yeah, it was cool on the spins when a bunch of money came out, but I didn’t feel the need to play any more when I had to get going. Or ever.

Geez. I take better pictures for eBay.

🛣  In Last Week’s Last…

I have to admit, I didn’t even notice.

https://people.com/tv/the-last-of-us-fans-point-out-hbo-editing-error/

My favorite reply.

🐈 Prosperous Pets…

I’ll bet they all still poop on the floor.

🎯 Quotes of the Week

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. – Chief Seattle (Once again, don’t step on any butterflies.)

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. – Oscar Wilde

What I did or said should never be more important than why I did it or said it.Andrea Kelly

There is only one way to avoid criticism: say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

Just knowing you don’t have the answers is a recipe for humility, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and an eagerness to learn – and those are all good things. – Dick Van Dyke

Each day we are given the opportunity to choose between that which is easy and fast and that which is more difficult and slow. The fast and easy track is attractive, but doesn’t bear fruit. The slow and hard track is intimidating, but has the most potential. – Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein

Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy. – Dean Koontz

Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!Steve Maraboli

There is no room for mediocrity in karaoke. – some obviously Drunk Kid I met there

🚶🏽‍♀️ Walking It Off…

Come back fresh on Monday really Tuesday for soap and the return of Captain Lee, which might offset the middle aged adolescents in that House. Until then, stay safe, stay keeping your head in the clouds, but your feet on the ground, and stay letting living your best life be your best revenge.

August 24, 2020 – Someone Surprises Julian, Tom & Malia Deserve Each Other, New Old Stew, Tardy Road Trip, Freebie Treks & Impromptu Wind

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

At the MetroCourt, Brando says he owes Sonny one. Sonny told him not to miss the Nurses Ball. Sonny bets Brando didn’t think he’d be answering phones, but Brando said he enjoyed it, especially the sense of community. Sonny gets a call from Turning Woods, and Brando says he hopes Mike is okay.

Sam visits Jason at the hospital, and he asks, how was the telethon? She says, musically, it was a major success, but the best part of the night is seeing him there. She was sure the second she turned her back on him, he’d make a great escape. He says he promised to stay unless there was a big emergency. Sam says, no emergency.

Jax and Nina go to the MetroCourt, and Jax says they deserve a drink after their dance. She says it was fun dancing with him, and he says she was incredible. She says that’s because she had a dynamite partner. In between basking in the spotlight, she realized that finally her life is on track. She has a job she loves, peace in her heart, and a refreshingly healthy relationship with a good man. He says he’s not saying, I told you so. Carly approaches their table, and asks if they’re recuperating or savoring their onstage triumph. Jax says, both, and Carly says she’ll have a server come over to take their orders. They deserve a drink.

At the hospital, Ned wonders why they’re not being told anything, and Olivia says they’re focused on saving Brook’s life. He says he’s going to call Monica, and ask her to pull rank. Olivia says she understands it’s painful, but it’s not about him. It’s about the doctors and nurses doing their work. Let them. Chase comes in, and tells them that he just came back from the crime scene. They’re questioning everyone who was backstage, and gathering security footage. He asks if Brook had any enemies. Was anyone angry with her? Ned says, other than him?

Nelle asks Julian what the hell he’s doing, and he says he’s not letting her take Wiley. He’s done with this. Nelle says if he wants to help Wiley, leave with her tonight. She has money… He says, it’s over. He should have put an end to it a long, long time ago.

Willow says, Wiley’s not in his room, and Michael asks if Monica brough him downstairs at any point. Monica says she heard Wiley on the monitor, but no; she didn’t go upstairs. Willow says Wiley is just big enough to have gotten out on his own, and Michael suggests they start searching the rooms, but sees a cloth on the ground. He sniffs it and says, it’s soaked in some kind of chemical. Monica smells it, and says, it’s chloroform. Michael and Willow look at each other.

Carly tells Jax and Nina, everything is on the house tonight, and Jax says they appreciate it. Carly tells Nina, she’s already said that Nina’s testimony was crucial in Michael and Willow getting custody of Wiley, and Nina asks how Wiley is doing. Carly says, it’s like the three of them have been together all along. It’s so much lighter. They hadn’t realize Nelle was like a heavy weight hanging over everything. She’s manipulative and broken, and would have inflicted that on Wiley, doing indefinite damage. All’s well that ends well. Nina says, as long as Wiley is happy, and Carly tells them to enjoy. Nina asks Jax not to hate her for what she’s about to say, and Jax says he might not agree with her, but he’d never hate her. She says, when Carly said, all’s well that ends well, she couldn’t help thinking that she doubts Nelle feels that way.

Sam tells Jason that Josslyn was the highlight, and there was a beautiful closing number. She asks how he’s doing, and he says he went for a walk. She says, scouting escape routes? but he says he was told to start moving around, and he fell asleep as soon as he hit the bed. She says, good. She wants him healed. She has some major plans for when he’s fully recovered. Jason’s phone rings, and he answers it. He frowns, and says, correct. All right. He appreciates the call. She asks who that was, and he says, the PCPD. They got the preliminary report about his accident. It turns out it was the stabilizer after all. Sam says, the part Brando installed.

On the phone, Sonny says he understands, and Brando tells Carly, it’s Turning Woods. She asks, what’s going on? and Sonny says Mike’s caregiver showed him a video from the 2018 Nurses Ball when they sang Summer Wind. His dad was smiling all the way through. Brando says, Sonny sang with Mike? and Carly says, it was an impromptu number. He should have seen it. Sonny says, it’s on the Nurses Ball website, and Brando says he definitely wants to see that, and Sonny laughs.

Chase asks why Ned was at odds with his daughter, and Ned says there was tension because she’d sold her ELQ shares. Who is he kidding? He called her a traitor, and kicked her out. Chase asks if that’s when he saw Brook last, and Olivia says they understand he’s just doing his job, but… Ned says he didn’t attack his own daughter. Everyone can testify they were at the Ball the whole time. Chase says he’s just trying to establish a timeline; Brook’s movements and state of mind. Any detail will help. Olivia says Brook had recently been with her ex-manager, Linc Brown; he operates out of NYC, and he’s a total sleazebag. He wouldn’t let Brook out of her contract, and sexually harassed her. When she resisted, he killed her career. She was trying to get away from him, which is why she sold her shares. Chase says, it’s a good lead, and Olivia asks if he thinks someone was plotting to do something to Brook at the Nurses Ball. Chase doesn’t think so, and she says she thinks it’s more likely that Brook walked in on something she shouldn’t have. Chase says, she’s strong and resilient, and she’ll pull through. They’re going to investigate every lead. He leaves, and Olivia tells Ned, he’s right; Brook is strong. She’s got the Quartermaine fight, and that spirit is going to pull her through.

Officer Sanchez asks Chase if they’re starting with Brook’s manager. He says, it’s their best lead, but Olivia might be on to something. This came out of nowhere. It wasn’t calculated, and there were too many people. It was too risky. It seems like a crime of passion or desperation.

Nelle says Julian doesn’t have to do this, but he says she went too far. He drugged Monica, and kidnapped Wiley. What was he thinking? He’s not handing Wiley over to her. She says she has the document that Martin will open in the event of her death. It details everything. How he helped Brad and rigged Brad’s car. He says he’s not going to roll over, and she says, Sonny will kill him.

Willow tells Monica, she needs to rest, and Michael asks if she doesn’t remember anything; a face or a voice? She says she heard an alert on her phone. She’d left it in the foyer, and went to get it. When she came in, she heard Wiley on the monitor, but she didn’t go upstairs. Michael calls the police, and says his child was kidnapped. A toddler, blond with blue eyes; his name is Wiley, and he was abducted from 66 Harbor View Road. He needs the police there, and a missing child alert issued immediately.

Officer Sanchez tells Ned and Olivia, so far, there are no eyewitnesses, but they’re going over the security footage. Chase says he has to go; another case requires his immediate attention. Officer Sanchez will stay there, and he’ll check in later. Portia comes out and says she has an update on Brook.

Sam says Jason didn’t ask Brando to put in the part; he volunteered. Jason says it could have been a faulty part from the manufacturer, but Sam says, that’s not a mistake a mechanic would make. He says, it depends on the defect, but she insists Brando sabotaged the bike. He says Brando has been open with him and Sonny, and admitted Cyrus came into the garage. She says, maybe he knew they’d figure it out eventually, but Jason asks, how? Cyrus wasn’t going to call him. Sonny gave Brando a pass for right now. Sam says she questioned him too; more like confronted him. He denied it of course (🍷), and was sweet to Molly and TJ, so she was all right with it, but it’s not over. He says they don’t need to decide tonight. Brando knows better than to disappear. Sonny would hunt him down if he had to. Sam says, not if she got to him first.

Brando watches Sonny and Mike’s performance, and tells Sonny, that was good. They were both loving it. Sonny says there was a problem with an act, and the stage was empty. Before he knew it, his dad was on stage singing, and then forgot the words. Carly says Sonny jumped on stage, and it was natural, like it was choreographed. Brando thanks Sonny for showing him. Carly’s phone rings, and she says, it’s Michael. Michael tells her about Wiley being kidnapped. She asks if he’s sure, and he says he found Monica unconscious, and a rag soaked in chloroform. The police are on their way. She says, you know it was Nelle, and he says he knows.

Julian tells Nelle that Wiley is in his car, where he’s fast asleep. It’s locked, so she can’t get to him. She says, put down  the gun, and hand her the keys, but he says, try to keep up. He’s done taking orders from her. He doesn’t care if Sonny kills him or not. She won’t be able to destroy Wiley’s life, and that’s the important part. She says this will scar Wiley for life, knowing his mother was murdered, but he says that’s what he’s trying to prevent; her scarring Wiley for life. Somebody has to stop her. Taggert comes out of nowhere, and knocks the gun out of Julian’s hand. I just shake my head.

Portia tells Ned and Olivia, to be honest, Brook has a long way to go before she’s out of the woods. She’s going through an extremely difficult procedure, and is in critical condition. Ned asks what she’s saying. His daughter’s not going to die, is she?

Sam says Jason could have died, and he says he knows, but he didn’t. He’s going to make a full recovery. If Brando had anything to do with the crash, he and Sonny will handle it; stay out of it. She asks if he thinks she’s wrong or blames her for Michael losing his job at ELQ. He says he wishes she’d made a different decision, but she did what she thought was right, and Sam says they’ll have to agree to disagree about Valentin, but Brando is another story. He says he understands her concern, and trusts her instincts, and she says she’s not buying Brando’s nice thing. He says he’ll keep that in mind, and she says, it’s getting late. The kids will want know about the Nurses Ball, and how daddy is doing. He says, tell them he loves them, and will be home as soon as he can. She says she can’t wait.

Monica says she had no idea anyone was in the house, and Michael says, it’s not her fault. Chase is there, and asks if Nelle had the keys. Michael says, not to the main house, but she could have stolen one. He should have changed the locks, but so much was happening. Chase says officers are checking the last place she was staying, and they have her car description and license plate number issued in a bulletin. Michael says, Nelle will anticipate that, and Chase says he’s reached out to the FBI, and they’ve expanded the search. She was supposed to perform at the Nurses Ball. Epiphany was upset that Nelle would be up there, pretending to care about the hospital she was suing. He asks if she ever went on, but Michael says, no. It was probably a diversion. While everyone was focused on the Ball, no one knew what she was doing. Chase asks Monica if she knows how long she was out, and she says she was watching telethon, but it wasn’t over. Chase says Nelle had at least an hour head start. Wiley could be anywhere.

Julian throws Taggert off of him, grabs the gun. Taggert is on the ground, knocked out, and Julian looks around, but Nelle is gone. He throws the gun in the river. Why? He says, sorry, guy, and leaves.

Carly tells Sonny, when Michael and Willow got home, they found Monica unconscious, and no sign of Wiley. Michael found a rag with chloroform on the ground. Sonny says, son of a bitch, and Carly says, it had to be Nelle. She’s had enough time to put distance between her and Wiley, and Port Charles. Brando says, they don’t think she’d hurt her own son? and Sonny says, she’s psycho but won’t hurt her only leverage. Carly decides to go to the Quartermaines, and tells Sonny, do what he can. Sonny asks her to tell Michael that his heart is with him. They’ll get Wiley back. Carly says, do whatever takes, and Sonny agrees. Brando says Jason is usually Sonny’s backup, so if Sonny needs him, he’s in. Carly tells Jax and Nina that Wiley was kidnapped, and Nina asks if it was Nelle. Carly says, it couldn’t be anyone else. She tells Jax, Josslyn is with Trina, and there’s nothing she can do right now, but tomorrow, if they still don’t know anything, she might need his help. She leaves, and Nina says, oh my God. She’s so sorry. Jax says, it’s Nelle’s fault, and the authorities for letting her out on parole. Nina says she should have realized what Nelle is capable of, and warned someone. She knows how Nelle thinks.

Ned asks Portia if he can see Brook after her surgery. He has to speak to her, and she needs to hear his voice. Portia says Brook was barely alive when she was brought to them. They had to do a lot of work to get her blood pressure back, so she could withstand the surgery. She has her best surgeons working on Brook, but unfortunately, that’s all they know for now. She goes back in, and Ned cries. He says, my little girl, and Olivia holds him.

Julian goes to Charlie’s, and his phone dings. He sees a missing child alert for Wiley, and says, dammit. Sonny comes in, and says he has a problem, adding, Julian does too. His wife kidnapped Sonny’s grandson. Julian says, she’s not here, and Sonny says he’s not surprised. He came looking for Julian. Julian says he had nothing to do with it. They both know Nelle is crazy. Sonny says Julian didn’t seem shocked; why? They’re not meeting up later, are they? Instead of saying he just saw the alert, like a normal guilty person would, Julian says, nope. He’s not surprised Nelle took Wiley because she’s desperate. Michael said she lost it in court. Sonny says, quit stalling, and tell him now where Nelle is with his grandson. Julian says he doesn’t know; he swears. Brando comes out from the back, and says, no sign of Nelle or Wiley, but he found this. He shows Sonny a packed duffel bag, and says, someone is planning on taking a trip. Sonny says, going someplace, Jules? No one ever called Julian Jules before, and suddenly it’s a thing?

Carly asks how Michael is holding up, and he says he keeps telling himself that he won’t do Wiley any good if he loses it. Chase comes in, and says they found nothing at Nelle’s apartment. Carly says, she has money from the sale of her ELQ shares; so she can get pretty far. Chase says they know that and are staking out the airports, including private jets, and the busses and train stations. Nelle is smart, but her resources are limited; theirs aren’t. Willow comes downstairs, and says she can’t find Wiley’s kangaroo. Michael explains, it’s his comfort toy, and Carly asks if Nelle knew that. Willow says they talked about it the last time Nelle was there. Michael says Wiley was having his nap, and Nelle took off without seeing him, which was suspicious. She’s more likely to hang around and make everyone uncomfortable. Willow wonders if Nelle was planning on taking Wiley even then, and Carly says, absolutely. That’s even more proof that it was Nelle, if she took his favorite toy.

In the car, Nelle tells Wiley, it was crazy back there. She thought Julian was going to kill her. One more person who betrayed her, but she got him. The man at the dock was a stroke of luck. He saved mommy’s life. At the expense of his own, but no good deed goes unpunished.

Taggert lies unconscious on the pier.

Olivia asks if Ned wants to spend time in the chapel, but he says, later. He wants to be there if Brook wakes up. He wonders how long it’s been, but Olivia says, not long. Dr. Robinson said it’s a delicate operation; give it time. She thinks right now they have to accept that no news is good news. Ned says she’s being great. When she should be saying, I told you so. She asked him to speak to Brook and forgive her, but he wouldn’t listen. In typical Quartermaine fashion, he put the company ahead of his daughter, and shut down. He threw her out of the house; out of the family. He let her believe he didn’t care or love her anymore. If she dies, the last memory she’ll have of him is when he slammed door in her face.

Carly calls Jason, and tells him that Wiley has been kidnapped. He says, tell him everything, but she says, there’s not much to tell. Monica was downstairs, and Wiley was upstairs in the nursery. Michael and Willow came home to find Monica unconscious, and no sign of Wiley. He asks if Monica is okay, and she says, Monica was knocked out by chloroform. Michael called after he found the rag. He asks if the cops are there, and she says, yeah; they’re following procedure, but Nelle is crazy and motivated. She knows there will be alerts at the border crossings, so maybe she’s going to NYC or Philadelphia, where she can blend in. She’ll be driving, so they’re looking for her car, but someone may be helping her. He asks where Sonny is, and she says, following another lead. She doesn’t know what, but he said he’d call if he finds anything. Jason says, anything else? and Carly says Wiley’s stuffed kangaroo is missing; Nelle knew enough to take it. He says, that’s the kind of detail that could make a difference. He tells her to stay there with Michael, and he’ll call when he knows something. She asks if he’s sure he’s okay enough to help, and he says she wouldn’t have called if she didn’t think he was, and she knows it. He hangs up, and calls Spinelli.

Sonny says, just when he started to believe Julian, they find a packed duffel bag. Not good. Julian says it’s stuff he was donating to the Waterfront clothing drive. Sonny asks where he was tonight, and Julian says they were in the same place, the Nurses Ball. Sonny says he didn’t see Julian much; did he leave early with Wiley? Monica was knocked out with chloroform. Does he know anything about it? Julian says he doesn’t know what Nelle did. Sonny should call the cops. Sonny says he doesn’t need the cops. If his grandson isn’t found, he’s going to be Julian’s judge, jury, and executioner. Understand? Sonny tells Brando that they’ll go check on Michael. Julian tells him, hold up.  

Nina tells Jax, she should have known how far Nelle would go.  She’s a schemer, manipulator, and a liar, and would do anything to get Wiley. She’s sorry she thought otherwise. Jax says they’ll find him, and give him back to Michael and Willow, and Nelle says, they must be going crazy with worry. She feels horrible about Willow. She said horrible things to and about her, but respects her, and how she’s trying to protect Wiley. Jax says he doesn’t know much about Willow, but what he saw in court impressed him. Nina says, Willow is more of a mother to Wiley than Nelle will ever be.

Chase says the officers who went to Nelle’s apartment said it was cleared out; her clothes and car are gone. Monica says she thought of something – Wiley’s heart condition. What if it flares up, and Nelle refuses to get him treatment like before? Carly asks if he was showing any symptoms, but Willow says, he was his normal, smiling self. Carly says, let’s take care of one crisis at a time. Monica was drugged, and should go to the hospital. Michael says he’ll take her, but Monica tells him to stay, and keep her posted. He and Carly walk her out, and Chase tells Willow, he promises they’ll find Nelle before anything happens to Wiley.

Nelle hears sirens, and sees flashing lights. She tells Wiley, they’re going to try and take him away, and give him to Carly.

Sonny asks what Julian remembers. Where did Nelle hide his grandson? Julian says if he knew, he would tell Sonny. He just wants Sonny to know he’s sorry for all of this. He’s sorry he got involved with Nelle; that’s the God’s honest truth. Sonny says if Julian is going to bring God into it, pray when Nelle gets caught, she doesn’t have a different story to tell. He’ll do Julian a favor and take the duffel bag to the collection box, and save him a trip.

On the phone at the pier, Jason asks Spinelli if he’s sure the last place the phone pinged was at Pier 55. Maybe she ditched the phone; he’ll look around. He hears Taggert groan, and says, talk to him. Who did this? He realizes it’s Taggert, who says, hey.

Olivia tells Ned, Brook loves screwing things up, and they’ll get in more fights, but her spirit will bring her through. She won’t let go easily. She does nothing easily, and she’s going to come back to them. When she does, he’ll get to say what he needs to say. Ned says he’s sitting there, trying find the words to use, the right things to tell her, and all he can come up with is, I love you. Isn’t it strange? All the words they have, and different ways of saying things; the lyrics to songs. But when it comes down to it, what else is there to say? He loves her, and if she can’t hear him say that again, he will never, ever forgive himself.

Portia comes back out, and says she spoke to Brook’s surgical team. Ned says, please. Did she make it?

Jax tells Nina, he’s lucky he never stopped listening to Lady Jane. Nina wishes she’d met Lady Jane, and he says she would have loved Nina. She appreciated strong, intelligent women. She says, that explains why Jax is who he is; a steady, good man, unafraid of strong women. He says, and intelligent, beautiful, sexy… and she says she likes it better the longer it’s getting. He says he’s sorry for what happened in her life, and Nina says she over-compensated with Charlotte, but he says he thinks she’s a great mother. He saw her with Charlotte. She thanks him, saying, that’s high praise. She did discover something, and is sure Willow did too. You don’t have to be a biological mother to have undying love for a child.

Carly tells Michael and Willow that Jason will call when he knows something. Michael asks if Jason isn’t in the hospital, but she says he’s out there looking. Michael says, it’s selfish, but he feel better knowing Jason is out there. Willow asks how much Jason can do, just being out of the hospital, but Michael says, he’s resourceful. Carly says they have to follow Jason’s example. Stay calm, but with their eyes open. Nelle is all about mind games, and making them jump through hoops. She won’t be able to resist leaving a clue. Chase comes back, and says they found Nelle’s car.

Nelle looks in the rearview mirror, as the cop cars pass. She says she swears she thought they found them, but how could they? Not in this car. She knew it would be the perfect car for their special trip.

Chase says she parked at the far end of a lot, but the car was abandoned. There were no signs of her or Wiley, but they’re searching the surrounding area. Michael says, they have no way to track the car, and Carly says, of course (🍷) not. Nelle thought of everything.

Nelle tells Wiley, smart mommy. Sonny can’t even link this car to them. They’re going far, far away, where Carly and the rest can never find them. The family will miss him terribly, and never know what happened to him, but they’ll have wonderful adventures, and Wiley will love the only mommy he’ll ever know. He’ll never have a grandmother, which is exactly what Carly deserves.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth asks why Franco won’t believe her, Nikolas tells Spencer that he has a plan to get Ava out of their lives, Sonny says there’s nowhere Nelle can hide where he can’t find her, and Cyrus asks someone if they’re going to have a problem.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Tom tells Bugs he’ll sort it out, but then bitches about a potato. The guests discuss the merits, or not, of raw lobster. Tom and Malia go into the walk-in refrigerator, and Tom says he’s good at what he does. She asks him to tell her how to help, and he says he has way too much self-respect to do this effing bullsh*t. She says, it hurts her for him to be like this, and he says, sorry; he didn’t expect this, and he has a cake to make. They come out, and Malia says, effing ridiculous, but I’m not sure if she’s referring to the situation or Tom. He continues to complain, while Jess and Alex have a pillow fight in one of the guest rooms. Tom sends out new lobster for the guests, and says he’s cooking the steak on the grill. Jess tucks the gigantic dildo under the covers on the bed, its other kind of head on the pillow. Guest Jared or Jacob, or whatever the hell his name is, tells Tom, the raw lobster was good, and Tom says, it was cooked for at least an hour. Bugs serves the steak and primary Isaac says, it’s on point. Tom makes his last minute cake, and decorates it. He tells Malia that he’ll go up, but he’s not carrying anything. He hates this sh*t. Everyone sings Happy Birthday, and Jacob blows out the candles, but I think he’s older than three. At least chronologically.

Jess asks Rob for help with the laundry, and he says he’s thinking about the future. She says, how so? and he says, like Bali; things like that. She asks if that means he’s loving her more, and he says, something like that. He’s so articulate, I can’t stand it. In her interview, she says, if he doesn’t go, she’ll be sad, and Bali is a dream of hers. He’s messing with her head. The guests relax in the outside lounge. Alex tells Pete that he’s kind of glad Hannah is gone; there’s a different vibe. Tom thanks Malia for her help, and says he’s disappointed. She says they just turned the boat yesterday, and he got thrown in. In his interview, he says, when you’re on a super yacht, everything you’ve worked for is at risk. Reputation is everything, and it has to be perfect.

Bugs begs for coffee and sympathy from Alex. In her interview, she says she’s had a lot put on her plate. They have a new chef, and suddenly, she’s a chief stew with an interior team of one. It’s a lot to handle in a day. She calls for a status update on the belly dancer, and is told to call back when the boat is closer. She reminds the guests that their beach picnic is noon, and serves breakfast; my favorite, eggs benedict. Tom goes over the menu for the picnic, and the deckhands discuss logistics. Bugs tell Jess to do the beds, and says she’ll catch up when she comes back. It’s a bit of a juggling act. She gets the deckhands to clear the table, and she and Alex head for the beach. There’s a bunch of back and forth with the deckhands about loading the boat and the line on the tender, and in Rob’s interview, he says he can contribute, but they don’t listen, It’s a clusterf*** with everyone in the same place at the same time, doing the same thing. He’s tired of this sh*t. The other deckhands wonder what’s up with him.

Captain Sandy asks if Jacob/Jarod slept well, and he says he did, but his Russian snow pony is blitzed. These kids are too much for him. In Bugs’s interview, she says, it’s her first time on a boat this big, with just two stews. She doesn’t want the crew to see her flustered. She likes to be in control. It’s madness. At the beach, Bugs tells Alex, great job setting up, and goes back to the boat. Jess leans against the wall and takes a quick nap. Rob complains that people are delegating who aren’t his boss. In the snake Malia’s interview, she says, a lot of the problems are HR, and it’s annoying. It’s Tom’s first charter, and they’re down a stew. They have to not sweat the little things, and focus on the bigger picture. Bugs sends Jess on a break, and Tom plates the food for the picnic. Bugs says, it’s delicious-looking, and they hand it off to Malia. Two shrimp cocktails promptly fall over, spilling everything out. She says, the bottoms of the glasses are round, and yells for Tom. He fixes the food, and she suggests he not send unbalanced glass jars on a beach picnic. Malia packs them tightly in a cooler, and I wonder why it wasn’t done that way in the first place. Bugs returns to the beach with the food. The guests are taken to the beach in two shifts, and Bugs greets them with champagne. Bugs prepares and serves the food, then radios Tom, saying, the food is going down well. Alex tells Malia that Rob is upset. He loves Rob, but he gets sensitive about the little things. Malia says, people are irritated and tired. Snow pony wants Jared/Jacob to take bare ass photos of her bending over, and tells him use the portrait mode for better quality.

Alex asks Bugs when they’re having their first official date, so they can see if they really hate or love each other. In her interview, she doesn’t know if he’s joking with her. She doesn’t want to put herself in a vulnerable position by accepting, and then find out it a joke. Rob is pulling in the slide, and Malia suggests a different way, and works with him. Apparently, he’s as tired of the slide as everyone else who’s ever dealt with it. Malia tells him to put the cover on. The belly dancer arrives, and Pete asks if Rob wants to reroll it, and they start rerolling. Malia says they can do that, but she just asked him to put the cover on it. Rob says, they’re stubborn, and in Malia’s interview, she says she’s tired of them ignoring her; it’s disrespectful. She tells them that she’s had it.

In her interview, Malia says, dinner service is starting, she’s supposed to help Bugs, and they aren’t even in their blacks. These two (meaning Rob and Pete) don’t see there are so many other moving parts. The belly dancer arrives, and Jared shows off his elephant thong to the other guests. The elephant’s trunk is where… never mind. Everyone dresses up for the Arabian Nights theme. In Jess’s interview, she says she’s doing two people’s jobs, and thinks she’s deserving of the second stew position. Rob sees Malia and the captain eating in the galley, and says Malia seems angry. She says she doesn’t appreciate being blatantly ignored. He says they thought it would be quick, but she says, it wasn’t quick. It’s 9 pm, and they’re just getting into their blacks. There are more moving parts other than him and Pete that she needs to worry about. Isn’t she allowed to get upset? He says he’s speaking to her as a professional. Captain Sandy says she doesn’t know what happened, but if someone tells you how to do something a certain way, making a suggestion is one thing, but being blatantly insubordinate is disrespectful and not cool. She leaves them, but Rob says he has nothing else to say. The guests toast to family, and Bugs welcomes them to their Arabian Night. Baeya does her thing, and Jacob asks where her monkey is at, and dances with her. Ugh.

Malia tells Tom that she’s tired of dealing with the same stuff. In Tom’s interview, he says, last night at dinner was frustrating. He figures the guests don’t have refined taste buds, but it’s still frustrating because it’s part of his identity. Rob meets with Jess, and says Malia was mad about some silly thing over the slide. He’d never disrespect her. In Jess’s interview, she says, every second they have together has been interrupted. She thinks if they go to Bali, they can get to know each other, but she’s trying not to get excited in case he doesn’t go. Jacob says, the chicken is pink as a mofo. Bugs takes it back, and tells Tom to just pan fry it; the guest wants it more brown. In Tom’s interview, he says he doesn’t think they understand what poached means, because they’re complete idiots, but whatever. Bugs tells Alex to take his shirt off, and he says, the things he does. Apparently, he’ll be the monkey, and he tells Baeya that he’ll just follow her lead. She says he has the soul of a belly dancer, no? and he says, no; he’s never danced in his life. Jacob gets new, more browned chicken, and Alex is introduced as Jingles. He comes out covered in glitter, and dances with Baeya. In his interview, he says he literally hates himself. Everyone laughs, and says it’s wonderful. Jacob tells Bugs that his Russian pony changed her name to Carmen because she loves cars and men. His name is BJ Golf. Bugs says, on that note, and runs for her life.

Bugs asks Jess to put a load of laundry in before she goes to bed. Rob asks if Malia thinks he doesn’t respect her, but she says, it’s more Pete. He says he’s not going to overthink it, and fixes up the table. He tells Malia, it’s scary. He’s worried about making the wrong choice if he follows his heart rather than his head. Malia says, always follow your heart, I choke on my coffee, and he repeats, it’s scary. One of the guests asks if they’re a person down in the interior, and Rob says they are. The guest says they noticed. It wasn’t that they lacked service, but Bugs is always there; she’s doing a phenomenal job. Malia tells Tom about getting pissed off, and says, the deck crew is strung out. In Malia’s interview she says, it’s refreshing to have a person to confide in, and the person she wants most to have around. Tom says he was frustrated as hell, but he knows it will get easier. Bugs does laundry, and Rob washes dishes.

Jess vacuums up glitter. Having taken care of kids, I’ve grown to hate glitter. The captain sees laundry piled up, and asks Jess why it’s not going 24/7. She needs to stay on top of the laundry. In Jess’s interview, she says they’re down a stew – again. She’s trying her best, but keeps getting shat on with the damn laundry. Captain Sandy tells Bugs, it’s ridiculous. There should never be piles. In her interview, the captain says, there’s no excuse, and we flash back over Jess’s laundry issues. Captain Sandy says Jess has a laxy daisy attitude. I don’t know if she’s making a joke, or doesn’t know how to pronouce lackadaisical. Bugs asks why Jess isn’t happy; it’s the last day of charter. In Bugs’s interview, she says, it’s not the charter for cracking the whip. It’s not the time and place to get up to speed, but she’ll have to. Jess mutters, she will not make me a bitch. She’s nice, calm, and effing happy. In her interview, she says she’s trying to suppress Jessica. She claws at the air, saying, let me out to handle this sh*t. Bugs has never heard of huevos ranchero, and calls it guevos, cuevos, and eventually queros. She asks Jess to do laundry, and Jess says, yeah, which I’ve never heard less enthusiastically. The guests pack, the boat is docked, and the captain says, good job; well done.

Isaac tells the crew, it was a blast. The service was phenomenal. They kept the booze flowing, and it was appreciated. He gives Captain Sandy the tip envelope, and she tells everyone to get in their reds and meet in the main salon. Rob tells Jess, in two weeks, they’re leaving, and she says, hopefully together. She feels like she wants it more than he does. Bugs pours champagne, and the crew gathers together. The captain says she thinks they killed it, considering what went down. They got a new chef, and were without a chief stew, but Bugs took over with ease and grace. Her goal never changed. It was always about the guests and that’s what the captain has wanted. They’re getting a second stew for the next charter, and picking her up in Ibiza. Their departure is at 6 am, so tonight they have to stay on board and rest. The tip is $20,500, or $1680 each. Despite Tom’s kvetching, I thought the guests were relatively low maintenance. Jess tells the captain that she got a message from the doctor, and he wants to check her finger. Rob changes his flight to the same open Jess is on for Bali. He tells Malia and Alex, and wonders how to tell Jess. Alex suggests putting whipped cream on his nipples, but Malia thinks he should print out a fake ticket and give it to Jess with some champagne.

It’s time for the preference sheet meeting, and Captain Sandy says they have return guests; Michelle and Johnny Damon. Johnny was an all-star baseball player, and they want a good time and good food. The last charter he complained about the food. We flash back to when stew Anastasia filled in for fired chef Mila, and see Michelle complaining that it wasn’t five star. The captain says, it needs to be steaming hot. The guests also want to go to a beach club, and have the captain join them for dinner one night. Captain Sandy says, they’re a lot of fun, but we flash back, and they look like a-holes. I think this is the group who started sh*t with the yacht docked next door. Jess goes to see the doctor, and Malia tells the rest of the crew that Rob wants to make a romantic gesture. Jess doesn’t know it, but Rob is going to Bali. Bugs suggests writing clues for her to find him waiting for her with the news, and he says he’ll make up a fake ticket. In Rob’s interview, he says he wants something creative, and out of his comfort zone. He wants to come up with something to show his intention. Jess returns, and says she got her finger back.

Bugs sets up candles on the top deck, and gets champagne ready. She goes to Jessica’s cabin, hands her the first clue, telling her, take this, and runs away, saying, gotta go. Rob waits, and in his interview, he says he wants it to be special, and he’s nervous. The first clue says, go to the bridge – you’re in trouble – make it quick – on the double. In her interview, Jess wonders if she’s getting fired and Bugs is running away. On the bridge, Malia holds the next clue. He wears an apron and cooks your food – be ten minutes late to set the mood. She goes to the galley, and Tom gives her the next clue, which leads her to the dining room where Bugs waits with a glass of champagne and her next clue. Follow the glitter to the main deck – your next clue check. Alex gives her the last one. He is tall and handsome – a face from GQ – upstairs with a surprise for you. Rob kisses her, and says she’s been asking about Bali, and he booked the same flight; it’s all done. Malia and the others sneak in, and they all toast to Bali. Jess tells Rob that he’s a good liar, and hugs him. The crew has a group hug, and Alex says, they’re all going to Bali. Rob thanks them for all being a part of it, and everyone goes to bed.

In their cabin, Jess tells Rob that she knew it was related to him, since he wasn’t there. Don’t ever be that good a liar again. He says, it wasn’t a lie. He wanted it to be a surprise.

In the morning, Jess asks if Bugs is excited to be getting a new stew, and Bugs says, it will be good to have another body back in interior. Everyone gets ready for the next charter, and Captain Sandy says, she’s here. It’s Aesha! She was on the last season as second stew, and she’s a lot of fun, really laid back. The captain says she’s so happy Aesha could come.

Next time, the yacht goes to Ibiza, which Aesha describes as the party capital of the Mediterranean, and a real life acid trip; Captain Sandy has to get into a very tight parking spot, and has a big audience; a guest falls and ends up bleeding; Bugs wears a tutu; and the guests fight.

👋🏻 Meet Aesha…

And while you’re there, be sure to scroll down, and read all about how BDM’s producer swears Tom wasn’t a plant. Uh-huh. Sure.

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/below-deck-med-welcomes-aesha-scott-back-to-the-show.html/

🚐 Don’t Be…You Know…

Don’t Be Tardy will be returning on October 6th, when Kim Zolciak and family take a road trip. I’ve found this show to be surprisingly pleasant, and a refreshing change from the usual reality conflict.

https://heavy.com/entertainment/2020/06/dont-be-tardy-season-8/

🛸 Trek For Free…

CBS All Access is making all six episodes of its Emmy-nominated shorts series Star Trek Short Treks available to watch for free on CBS platforms and YouTube. But hurry, since they will only  be available until August 31st.

https://comicbook.com/startrek/news/star-trek-short-treks-watch-free/

✂️ Cutting It Close Again…

As usual, I’m still editing for my deadline tomorrow at https://mupoentertainment.com/theresa-krakauskas/. Plus, tomorrow is the return of Tyler Perry’s The Haves and The Have Nots, with a two-hour premiere starting at 8 pm. Somewhere in there, I’ll have to include that pesky sleep, so I might have to condense, but rest assured, I’ll include all the good juicy stuff. Until then, stay safe, stay punctual, and stay out of walk-in refrigerators.

November 18, 2019 – Sam’s Hearing Concludes, Fraternity On Deck, WWHL Presents Bravocon, Blind Date Bore & More Pirates

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

I missed the first few minutes, and hope this isn’t indicative of the week.

Kim asks if Franco is ready start their new life. He says he’s very sorry, but he can’t leave Port Charles with her after all. Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!!!

Alexis asks if TJ is saying that she somehow ingested rat poison. There’s an antidote, right? Elizabeth comes in with Finn, and asks how Alexis is feeling. Finn says her blood pressure has dropped to its lowest point, and Alexis says it probably shot up after she heard TJ’s theory. TJ says her symptoms are consistent with thallium poisoning. Finn says, it’s been banned for decades, but TJ suggests they run tests to be on the safe side, and Finn agrees.

Kim tells Franco that she doesn’t understand, and asks if it’s about slowing down. He says, that’s not it, and she asks, why stay in Port Charles? She saw Monica, and Monica understands. He says, it has nothing to do with Monica, and she asks if it’s about Elizabeth and the boys. He says, it’s about Franco, and what Franco did for him when they were kids.

Julian flashes back to Kim saying he was never her Charlie. That man never existed. It was him pretending to be someone he’ll never be. A woman (let’s just say it, Brook Lynn) asks if he’s working today. She wants a black Russian. He says he’ll get someone to help, and she says, or he could pour it himself. Unless he has something better to do.

Brad says he didn’t know Lucas spoke to Julian, and Lucas says, yesterday. He was with Julian when Brad called. Once Brad said Charlotte had been abducted by Cassandra, it slipped his mind. Julian just made excuses about how he was protecting him and Wiley from Brad’s shady dealings. Brad says he was set up, and Lucas says, in reality, the only person they needed protection from Julian. Julian is nothing to him. If they see him when they’re out somewhere, they’re going to turn the other way. He’s sorry Brad got set up. It seemed like he and Julian were getting close, and he knows how that hurts. Brad says, it hurt Lucas too; he’ll miss his father. Lucas says he misses the father who raised him. He doesn’t miss Julian. Lucas’s phone dings, and he says he has to get back to work. Brad says he and Wiley will be waiting.

Diane tells Jason and Sam that they don’t need to debate the evidence. It’s already on record, and Judge Madrigal has a reputation for fairness. The judge comes in, and the bailiff says, court is now in session; the United States vs Sam McCall. The judge asks if they’re ready, and Diane introduces herself as council for the defense. She says they’re ready, but the US attorney seems to have something better to do. Judge Madrigal asks the bailiff if there’s been any word, but he says not that he knows of. Diane says, in light of the no show, she’s asking that all charges be dismissed immediately. Jason makes a face like one of my dogs makes when I have food in my hand.

Diane says, her honor is of course (🍷) familiar with the spurious charge of murder against Sam. She doesn’t use the term spurious lightly. At the time of Shiloh’s death, Jason was definitely unarmed and in imminent danger. The charges against her client were hyper-inflated, and are now outright lies. They say Sam arranged Shiloh’s escape for the sole purpose to kill him herself. Phone records show Sam answered a call from Dev Corbin, who was on the Haunted Star. She went unprepared and unarmed, which is illogical. If she arranged to kill Shiloh, why go unarmed? It makes no sense. Sam never should have been charged and taken from her home, where her two children need her, to spend even one hour to clear her name. It’s a clear-cut case of self-defense. She asks that the charges be dismissed. A man – who looks a lot like Anderson Cooper – runs in, and introduces himself as Gabriel Burke. He apologizes for being late, but he was interviewing the victim’s friends and supporters. They were once homeless and down on their luck, and they’re now thriving. They all tell the same story. If not for Shiloh, they’d be on the street. The man Sam shot in the back and erased from the world was a healer, helper, and hero. We all gag.

Obrecht asks Lucas how Wiley is, and he says she doesn’t even have a vague interest in his son. Brad is finished with her. She says she’s sorry to hear that. He’s been in contact with Britt, and she has an update. He tells her, give it a rest. She’s been blackmailing Brad. She took advantage of him being an anxious new father, and wrote a prescription for him. She took advantage of it, and used Brad to tamper with Sasha’s tests. Obrecht says she doesn’t know if he’s naïve or being deliberately ignorant, but in his eagerness to put the blame on her shoulders, he conveniently ignores what he knows about his own husband. Brad is a liar, and capable of lying to him.

On the phone, Julian tells Lucy that he has the right to keep Olivia’s deposit (he still hasn’t mentioned in what world), and to get her client under control. Brad asks if he’s having a bad day, and Julian tells him, get out. Brad says Julian might want to hear his deal first. Julian says Brad got the best of him this time, but he still has a story to tell, so don’t get cocky. He’s not done. Brad tells Julian, never mention how Wiley fell into his arms again, or Sonny will be over to visit so fast, it will make Julian’s head spin. But he has a more positive reason for visiting. Something that should make Julian happy.

Alexis says she’s sorry she doubted TJ, and TJ says he doubted himself too. Maybe he’s wrong, but her symptoms are specific. He wonders how she might have come in contact with the poison.

Franco tells Kim, Franco sacrificed himself, and his life was damaged irreparably. Despite monumental challenges, Franco rebuilt his life. Franco had a relationship, a family, and a home, until he showed up and took them away. Kim says, Shiloh and that crazy doctor did that. He had no choice. Franco says, Franco sacrificed himself for Cameron, and years before, did the same for him. Kim says if he feels obligated to visit Elizabeth’s family and be a friend to the boys, she’ll accept it. It won’t be easy, but they can stay. She just wants to be with him. He says he wants be with her too, but he can’t. He has nothing but love for her, but he’s going to have the procedure reversed. I say, thank God, and God laughs because these people aren’t real.

TJ says, maybe a local exterminator is using the poison, and Finn asks if Alexis has eaten any take-out. She says, only the usual; Kelly’s, Charlie’s, the Floating Rib, the MetroCourt. None of them would use something like that. Finn says it’s possible an employee had it on their hands. TJ says there would be other cases if that happened. Elizabeth brings back the test results, and Finn says, TJ is right. It’s thallium. Alexis says, now that they know what it is, tell her there’s a cure.

Franco says he’s not trying to hurt Kim, but he has to do right by Franco. He was never meant to be there. Kim says, but he is there. She can touch him and feel him. He says his memories are in another man’s body. A man who saved him when he was too little to save himself. Kim says he can’t. It’s too dangerous, and he could end up in a permanent coma. He says, the last thing Franco said to Cameron was, tell Elizabeth that he’d be back. Kim says, Elizabeth is handling this. Please. She can’t lose him. He says he has to try. He’s no good to her, himself, or anyone else if he doesn’t.

Brad tells Julian that he’s willing to let bygones be bygones. What Julian did was despicable, but not unforgiveable, especially since they were starting to be one big happy family. Julian asks what Brad wants now, and Brad says he’ll ask Lucas to give Julian another chance. Julian asks how he’ll mange that, and Brad says, he’ll have to take it slow; wear Lucas down over time. But Julian has to play his part. Keep his distance, and Brad will make sure he and Lucas are close again. As long as Julian doesn’t even think about exposing the secret about Wiley.

Lucas tells Obrecht to stop playing her twisted mind games. They don’t work; not with him or Brad. He doesn’t trust her, and if she ever tries to blackmail Brad again, he’ll go to the authorities. Obrecht says then she has no choice but to reveal the cold hard facts about Lucas’s husband, and why she was involved.

Judge Madrigal says Gabriel was late, and now he’s grandstanding. It’s a bench trial, not the theater. The only important thing she’ll pay adherence to is a productive argument and the charges. Prior to his death, Shiloh had been charged with sexual assault, attempted murder, murder, blackmail, and money laundering. He was a complex man who had a complex death, and it’s her job to judge whether there was malice aforethought or not. Diane calls Jason to the stand.

Jason says when he got the Haunted Star, Shiloh was standing over Sam, who was lying on the ground with broken glass all around her. Shiloh was attacking Sam, and he told Shiloh to stop.

Sam says, once she was alone on the boat, she knew she had to plan her escape, so she kept Shiloh talking. She went to the bar to pour a drink. That’s when he told her that he was responsible for his father’s death; that he tampered with the breaks on his father’s car. Gabriel objects, saying Shiloh isn’t on trial for his father’s death. Diane says it shows the state of her client’s mind; she was clearly in fear for her life, and it shows intent. Shiloh – the hero – admitted to murdering his own father. The judge says, continue, and Sam says Shiloh was closing in on her. She took the bottle to use as a weapon, but Shiloh got it out of her hand, and threw it on the ground. Then he threw her to the ground on top of the glass. He forced her legs open, and started to unbuckle his pants.

Jason says he shot Shiloh. He hit Shiloh in the chest, and thought he was dead. He didn’t check Shiloh’s pulse, and went directly to Sam. Diane asks how Shiloh survived, and Jason says, he had a bulletproof vest he took from a guard when he escaped. Jason didn’t realize, and was on deck when Shiloh came at him with a gaffing stick.

Sam says, Shiloh was going to kill Jason. She had no time, so she just reacted, shooting him in the back with a flare gun. He stumbled, and fell overboard. Gabriel says what she described sounds terrifying. Was she terrified? Sam says, of course (🍷). Gabriel says, then why did Sheri say in her sworn statement that Sam knew Jason didn’t need help, and could deal with Shiloh on his own? She shot Shiloh because of what he’d done to her sister and her. Diane says, hearsay, but Gabriel says Sam wanted Shiloh dead, didn’t she?

Finn tells Alexis the antidote is in paint, like the kind in Van Gogh’s Starry Night. It’s also used in blueprints. It binds to the metals in the body, and flushes them out safely. Alexis wonders how someone came up with it. They licked a paintbrush? (That sounds like something I’d ask. I know. Let’s try drinking paint!). Finn says she’s going to be okay. TJ comes back, and says there’s no report of anyone else being poisoned in or around Port Charles. Finn says the symptoms are unique to Alexis, which brings them back to why.

Sam says she won’t apologize for wanting Shiloh away from her sister or the other young women he preyed on. But no matter what, she took a shot to protect Jason. Gabriel says, so she was mistaken. She didn’t think he could handle it himself. Diane says, hearsay, which the prosecution should understand. He’s using backdoor maneuvers to get the statement on record. The judge says, sustained. Move along.

Gabriel suggests that Sam and Jason set up a sting operation, but Diane objects, saying that’s a speculative premise. The judge sustains her objection, and Gabriel asks if Jason ever physically assaulted Shiloh. Jason says they fought, and Gabriel asks, how many times? Did he ever throw Shiloh down the stairs?  Diane objects again. She says Gabriel had ample opportunity to present the evidence of Jason allegedly throwing Shiloh down the stairs, but none was presented. There’s no way to prove it happened. Her objection is sustained. Gabriel says there are numerous counts of assault, and Diane objects again. Judge Madrigal says, sustained. She warned Gabriel about grandstanding, and next time, she’s going to cite him. Gabriel asks if Jason was so inexplicably defenseless, that if Sam hadn’t shot Shiloh, he wouldn’t have been able to defend himself. Diane says, that calls for speculation, and Gabriel says, withdrawn. Diane brings out the gaffing stick, and asks Jason what it is, for the record. He says it looks like the gaffing stick Shiloh was going to hit him with, and Diane says, Shiloh’s fingerprints were all over it. Gabriel – who’s really reaching now – says Sam could have placed it in Shiloh’s hands after he died. Diane says, false narrative, but Gabriel says, Sam, Jason, and Shiloh were alone on the water, with no witnesses to give history. The only life in danger that night was Shiloh’s. I wonder why they’re not making more of Dev’s phone call.

Julian says Brad loves throwing Sonny’s name around. Maybe he should tell Sonny his grandson is still alive. He’ll be so grateful, he’ll shake Julian’s hand. Brad says he came to Julian in good faith with a peace offering, but Julian says, how about extortion? Brad says Julian can get his son back if he lets them keep theirs, but he’ll have to agree to the terms. Julian tells Brad that he’d better not screw up. Brad holds out his hand, but Julian doesn’t shake it. Brad leaves, and Julian announces there’s a problem in the kitchen, and they’re closing. Their charges are covered, but they have to get out. Brook Lynn continues to drink.

Kim says, so he’s giving up his life, but Franco says it’s not his life to have; it’s Franco’s. If he holds on to it, he’s no better than the men who did the procedure in the first place.

On the phone at Charlie’s, Brook Lynn says, they owe her. O-W-E, owe, not own. They can find someone else if they want someone to push around. Go to hell. She hangs up, and tells Julian, black Russian, take two. He says, the bar is closed; she has to leave. She says she’ll get where she’s going eventually. In the meantime, she’s comfortable. Is he going to pick her up and toss her out, or call the cops? It would be simpler to just get her the damn drink.

Franco asks what Kim will do now, but she says she doesn’t know. All she knows is, she can’t stay and watch, hoping it doesn’t work out. However it turns out, he’s no longer hers. Franco says she doesn’t need to leave because of him. She says she needs to leave because of her. Without him and Oscar, there’s nothing left for her in Port Charles. Franco says, she’s an amazing woman. He wishes he could love her the way she deserves. She says he did once; they both did. She guesses this is goodbye. She cries, and says, goodbye, Chief Andrew Cane. He holds her, and says he loves her. She says she loves him too. He walks to the door, and walks out without turning back. She cries, and says, she always will.

Alexis tells Finn that she’s careful with her diet, and she’s working out with Kendra. Finn asks if she’s gotten any herbs or teas from the internet. She says, the only other thing is the supplement she’s been taking, and she had her doctor check it out. Finn asks if she’d mind if he took a look at it, and TJ says he has a key to the house; he can pick it up. Alexis says, that’s not necessary. She can have Kendra drop some off. Why? Why did she say that? Elizabeth comes in with Alexis’s first dose, and Finn says she’ll feel better in a couple days. She drinks it, and says, tastes like paint, but if it saves her life, she won’t complain. TJ says they still need to uncover how Alexis got exposed. He thinks she probably got it from a restaurant. Finn says he has a hard question. Is there any chance someone poisoned her intentionally?

Lucas tells Obrecht that she has no right to blow up their life. She says that’s not what she wants. She’s never subscribed to the philosophy that the truth will set you free, but he seems like he was raised on that principle. He should thank her for full disclosure. Lucas says her manipulation no longer works. She has nothing to tell him that he doesn’t already know. She says, is that so? His husband has a colorful past. So many highs and lows. She has something to tell him. Brad blows in, and asks, what’s going on? Obrecht says Lucas was lauding Brad’s honesty and disparaging her in the same breath. If his manners don’t improve, he’ll live to regret it, and so will Brad. She walks off, and Lucas asks if that’s a threat. Brad tells him, forget it. She won’t say anything or she’ll be implicated too. It’s over. Lucas says he doesn’t think it is.

Gabriel says Sam paid Brice to arrange Shiloh’s escape, but Diane says the defense admitted an affidavit from Brice’s lawyer. He was in the process of cutting a deal and amending his statement, when he was brutally murdered. The judge says the court has read it, and the statements offset each other. Neither will be counted to weigh more than the other. Gabriel says they only have the testimonies of Sam and Jason. Shiloh can’t give one, and conveniently, there were no security cameras. Perhaps Sam arranged that so she could kill him, and fabricate a story of attempted assault. Diane says, seriously? Hearsay and speculation. Gabriel says they haven’t offered once ounce of tangible proof, and the judge says, point taken, but she’s warned him. Gabriel says Sam shot Shiloh in the back, not to save Jason, but to snuff out a man she despised. Shiloh deserves his day in court. She took his life, and should be held accountable. Jason’s arrest record proves he was anything but defenseless. Judge Madrigal says she’s heard what she needs to hear. There will be a short recess before she gives her ruling. Spinelli tells Sam and Jason, everyone is in good health, but he has an emergency, and has to leave. His heart is with Sam. Sam asks Jason what he thinks. Is it going to go in her favor?

Alexis says she can’t think of anyone who would want to poison her except Helena, and she’s dead. She supposes Helena could have left posthumous instructions. TJ wonders if it could be a disgruntled client, or the family member of someone Alexis had put away. Finn tells Alexis to rest and let the medicine do its job. They’ll deal with the rest later. He leaves, and TJ starts to go, but Alexis says, not so fast, you. He saved her life. She thanks him, and he says he’s glad she’s okay. He’ll call Molly and let her know. She tells him to make sure to tell Molly about his role in it, or she will. He says he’ll check on her later. When he’s gone, she gets a text from Kendra asking how she is. She texts back, great news. I’m going to recover.

Kim looks around the empty apartment.

Elizabeth is at the reception desk, when Franco walks in. She asks what he’s doing there, and he says he needs to talk to her.

Julian asks the woman, why stay in a place that’s closed? She asks, why did he close it? What’s up with that guy he was talking to? It seemed heated. He says it’s none of her business, but she says she’s a total stranger, and they can be the best listeners. What not take advantage of that?

Brad tells Lucas, back to normal, but Lucas says, every time he turns around, there’s another secret. Brad asks what he means, and Lucas says Obrecht told him she knows the cold, hard facts about Brad and Wiley’s father. What else is Brad hiding?

Sam asks Diane how she thinks it went, but Diane tells her, it’s difficult to say. Sam and Jason were both compelling and straightforward, which works in their favor, but it’s hard to imagine Jason being defenseless. That shouldn’t count, but it can cast doubt. She asks Jason, how many fights he had with Shiloh. Jason says, real fights? Four. Diane asks, what’s a real fight? and Jason says where one of them almost killed the other.

The judge comes back in. She says, after careful consideration of the evidence and testimonies, she’s prepared to make a ruling. Will the defense rise?

Tomorrow, Kim hopes Hayden is as happy there as she was, Lucas asks Brad why everyone is after him, Olivia suggests she and Sonny open something together, and the verdict is read.

Below Deck

27 hours before charter. Brian says he kissed Courtney last night, and Ashton says, sh*t went down. Kate tells Ashton, good morning, lover boy. He asks how they hooked up, but Kate says he put his tongue in her mouth. That’s all that happened, so stop saying that. She loves him, but not that way. In Ashton’s interview, he doesn’t know how that happened, but it wasn’t him; it was Smashton. That’s the way Smashton operates. Kate tells him, get out of here. In Kate’s interview, she says she looks at Ashton as a brother, and she’s not that kind of family. Tanner feels better, like a new person, and says sleep was what he needed. Kate tells Tanner about Ashton kissing her, and he asks how that was. She says, disgusting. Tanner asks Courtney about Brian kissing her, and she says, that never happened. It was a peck. Ashton says they were so cute together, and she says, never going to happen. In Courtney’s interview, she doesn’t know how she feels. She’s a bit picky. Did she cringe, or does she want to kiss him again? Those are the two options. Tasks are given out. Tanner swills water.

Tanner watches Cortney and Simone fold clothes, and jets before he’s asked to help. Simone tells Courtney that she has to stop breathing when Tanner is around. Kate tells Simone that she’ll be on late, so she’ll be helping more with service. She asks what part of service Simone wants to work on, and Simone asks what Kate thinks she needs to work on. Kate asks how she is at opening wine, and Simone goes, uhhh… In Kate’s interview, she says it’s like on a sports team when someone is saying, put me in coach, but she doesn’t want to rush Simone either. Kevin makes up songs in the galley. Kate hands Simone a bottle of wine, and tells her to show her skills. Simon fumbles around. Kate tells her to do it without using the counter. In her interview, Kate says, that Simone doesn’t know how to open a bottle is a little troubling. She said she worked for a year on yachts. No one drank on that boat? Kate shows her how to open the bottle, and they move on to pouring.

Time for the preference sheet meeting. In Simone’s interview, she says most of her experience has been on laundry and housekeeping. She wishes she could get full service instruction. Captain Lee says their new primary is Michael Blackton, who owns a helicopter charter business. He and his closest friends went to Florida State. Kate says she knows people who went there, and the only major is drinking beer. In her interview, she says, no employer goes, wow, when they see Florida State on a resumé. The captain tells them that Michael says the crew isn’t prepared for what’s going to transpire on board. Kate says all they’ll need is red Solo cups. The captain says they want a beach lunch, a college style party with garnet and gold decorations, a pirate day, and they want the crew to come up with another theme dinner of their own creation. It’s going to be full-on. He asks how Tanner is, and Ashton says, he’s 100%. Captain Lee says they need him back. In Ashton’s interview, he says he has a calm exterior, even though inside, he’s pretty nervous. Kate makes a call to get a bunch of pirate stuff. Brian slips on deck, and hurts his knee. Tanner asks Ashton if they’re going to have hats and eye patches and sh*t, and Ashton nods.

Captain Lee watches as Simone irons. She tells him the iron is malfunctioning, and he shows her how to use it. Kate says it’s an honor and a privilege to watch him iron. I actually think it’s sexy. Tanner tells Kate about Brian whacking his knee, and asks how her tongue is doing after the attack. She says it recoiled to the back of her throat.

Ashton wants the boat looking nice and sharp, and the deckhands take care of last minute details. In Brian’s interview, he says he’s not sure what’s happening with his knee; it’s swollen. He can still do his job, but he can’t focus 100%. He hopes the pain goes away soon; he doesn’t need this on deck. The provisions come in, and Courtney says, yay Florida. Brian says his knee is hurting, and everyone gets changed to their whites. Tanner says he’s dripping sweat, and the captain says, four minutes to show time.

Kate brings out gold and garnet leis. As the guests come up to the boat, one says they’re going to get ripped every night, and Michael says, they have no idea what’s coming for them. Captain Lee says he’s not ready for these guys. In his interview, Ashton thinks the girls are beautiful, and it’s going to be a distracting charter. I’m a good bosun. I am a good bosun. The captain tells the guests they have a fun few days planned. Kate will give them a tour of the boat, and they’ll get this party started. Kate does the tour, and anchor is pulled up. One of the female guests wonders when Ashton’s shirt is coming off. Kate describes Michael to Kevin as still being in the fraternity and having a Republican haircut. She puts Courtney on laundry duty. Michael wants to see pirates. I don’t think Captain Sandy would agree that’s a good idea. Kate tells Simone to check on the guests. In Kate’s interview, she says if Simone wants to improve in service, when she says, check on the guests, that doesn’t mean wander around. She didn’t speak to one of them. A guest comes to the galley, and asks for a vodka/Sprite. Kate tells Simone, look at every guest, and ask if she can get them anything. You never want them to have to ask.

Michael is already making all kinds of inappropriate remarks to Simone. Courtney suggests Brian get an actual bandage on his knee, and tells him to stop touching it with dirty fingers. Simone says she wants the guests to be super happy and drinking. Kevin makes ribs, and says, Michael is fantasized [sic] by an American type steakhouse. Tanner asks if Brian is going to text Courtney to marry him. Kevin sings, love is in the air. Kate says Courtney has a glow, and Courtney says that’s because she got some sun. Kate says, he’s the son of someone. Michael says, let’s get loose, and asks when Simone gets to drink. He tells her that he was going to bring his girlfriend, but they broke up before the trip when he found out she was a hooker. He thinks this is pretty funny, while the rest of us just look at him blankly. He grabs Simone’s hand, asking about her ring finger, and guessing her size, telling her, he’s good at that. They arrive in Koh Roi. Simone tells Kevin, the main guy is ugh. In her interview, she says she’s trying to be professional, and Michael is being creepy. Get her out of there.

Kevin tells Kate that he wants to go over to the beach with the food. Ashton explains that he’ll make the initial run with the crew, and while they set out the food, he’ll go back for the guests. In Kevin’s interview, he says he wishes he could trust Kate with the beach picnic, but she’s checked out. We flash back to Kevin looking for Kate the last time. He says she needs to manage better, and he doesn’t trust her with any of the aspects of a beach picnic. I dub Kevin officially insane. He tells Kate that he’s going along because he doesn’t want to make more work for her. Ashton has a meeting with the deckhands, and the tender is put in the water. Captain Lee asks Ashton what Brian did to his leg, and Ashton says, that’s how hard he fell for Courtney the other night. We all laugh. Tanner asks Brian how his knee is, and Brian says, effed up.

Kate gets ready for the picnic, and says, the gang’s all here; Tito, Jack, and Jim. Ashton thinks it’s the hottest day so far. They leave to set up, and one guest asks for a banana daquiri. Simone says she can do it, and then looks it up on her phone. Courtney says, it’s just a daiquiri with bananas in it. Kevin sets up, making Ashton and Tanner change things around from what Kate told them. Ashton says they’ll just do what Kevin wants to do, and Kate says, welcome to her life. In Kate’s interview, she says, usually, she’d like the chef to show up and participate, but Kevin is very OCD, and it makes everything more difficult. Simone conquers the daquiri, and the guest pronounces it delicious. Kevin starts talking about dinner, but Kate wants to deal with lunch first. The guests arrive, and Kate tells them, welcome to lunch. Kevin tells Kate not to forget the salt and pepper, and she says it’s on the table already. In her interview, Kate says, whenever Kevin jumps into the service realm, he’s doing it to overpower her. Kevin needs to stay in his lane, or take over the job fully, and she’ll take a vacation. She tells Simone, practice makes perfect, and to serve the guests so they don’t have to get up.

Courtney doesn’t understand ironing. It just rewrinkles. Tanner tells Courtney, it’s going to be a chill charter for her – until the laundry starts coming in. In Courtney’s interview, she says, it’s like a frat party, but they’re forty. It’s chill, but it’s pretty sad. I think it’s just pretty sad. The guests play in the water. Simone stays to pack up, and the guests return to the boat. Brian tells Simone that guest Kim is hot, and Simone says, Kim is a scorcher. He asks if she has any comments on the guys, and she says, Tanner makes her… and she fans herself. Brian says, he makes her flustered

Kate tells Courtney, tonight it’s garnet and gold forever. And beer pong. In Kate’s interview, she says the guests are having a college-themed party because the college years were the best years of their lives. Anyone still talking about college, peaked in college. It’s embarrassing. She makes Courtney the creative director of Jell-O shots. Ashton gets the slide ready by himself. The guests jump into the water from the side of the boat. Brian says his knee is worse; the pain is intense on the sides. Ashton says Brian’s knee isn’t looking good. In his interview, he says, there’s a massive difference between being one man and two men down. He hasn’t had a full-strength team all season. He’s exhausted. He asks to talk to the captain.

Ashton tells Captain Lee that Brian banged his knee, and it’s swelling. In his interview, the captain says he has to come up with a backup plan in case Brian can’t work. He feels like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. Kevin goes over dinner with Kate. Tanner tells Simone that he thinks he found the coolest spot on the yacht. Simone agrees, and they catch a breeze. One of the guests says she’s trying to get a buzz. She’s way too sober. Tanner tells Simone about Brian’s knee. Michael goes to the galley, and asks Kate where the group shots are. Tanner asks if Simone misses home. She says she misses her grandma, and talks about her all the time. Tanner says his grandpa is his best friend. They have to treat each experience like they don’t want it to be the last one. In Simone’s interview, she says, not only does Tanner have his symmetrical God-given face, he appreciates his grandparents. He asks how old her grandmother is, and she says, ninety-five. In Kate’s interview, she says, Simone is exhibiting all the telltale signs of being a yachty with no experience. If she can hear Simone, the guests can hear her. It’s not Simone’s cruise. She tells Kevin, Simone is having a conversation on the sundeck, and the guests are listening to her life story. Kevin says Simone talks too much. Kate says she’s like a puppy you want to train, but don’t want to break its spirit. Kevin says you need to give it house rules. Everyone looks at the sunset. Kate tells Simone to change into her blacks. The guests get dressed for dinner. Kevin prepares a New York cheesecake.

Kate tells Simone to get the glasses for dinner. Ashton tells Tanner that Simone likes him, and asks if Tanner likes her. Tanner says, that’s dangerous. Kate tells Simone that the guests could hear her talking to Tanner. She was busy making drinks, and didn’t hear what it was about. Should she ask the guests, or does Simone want to tell her? Simone says they were just talking. In Kate’s interview, she says she’s annoyed that Simone is playing that she wants to learn. If she wants to learn, a little less this – she makes a hand gesture for talking – and more of this – she gestures like she’s cleaning something. She tells Simone, if guests are around, be careful.

I just have to interject here. I’m always surprised at how brazen the guests are, like with asking a deckhand to take their shirt off or being forward with a stew. It’s never once crossed my mind to make a pass at any kind of waitstaff or server when they’re technically in my employ. It’s outrageously inappropriate. Does money make people stupid? I had money for five minutes once, but the only inappropriate thing I ever did was take a limo to a Spice Girls concert, and it wasn’t even my idea.

Ashton tells Kate that he’s another man down, and Kate asks, how down is he? Ashton says he needs to rest. As usual, Kate makes a gorgeous centerpiece, using green/gold netting and fairy lights. Kate tells Simone, during service, keep conversation to a minimum. The guests hear everything. A guest says there’s finally a breeze, and Michael says he hasn’t had a BJ this good in years, causing all of us to collectively roll our eyes, and push him off the boat. Okay, I made up that last part. In Kevin’s interview, he says he hasn’t really been around college students before. They’re toasted, and he thinks they’ll be impressed with dinner. Michael talks about playing the drinking game, Never Have I Ever, but never have I ever played that game, nor have I ever been interested in playing. In his bunk, Brian puts a towel over his face.

Tanner and Ashton continue working. Ashton wishes he could go to bed. The captain looks at Brian’s leg, and says it’s going to be a pain in his ass. He’ll probably have to get a doctor. He tells Brian to put ice on it. The guests ask for green tea shots with Red Bull (bleh), and they need them quickly. Simone tells Kate, and Courtney brings some cheesecake to Brian. He asks if she’ll get him some ice, and promises to take her for champagne when the crew goes out. Kate downs one of the shots, and declares it good.

Kevin delivers the cheesecake, singing, once, twice, three times a cheesecake, on the way. Michael toasts to waking up and not getting pissed on. A guest says it’s the best cheesecake they’ve ever had. Michael tells them, it’s college night tonight, and Kate says they have beer pong, and a two-story beer bong. The guests change, and then play beer pong. Simone watches and laughs. Kate tells Courtney the laundry is looking good. Courtney says, it’s a nice change, but it’s boring. Kate asks her to help Simone for a while. These people really are acting like they’re in college. I’m embarrassed. Michael messes with the kayak that’s hanging on the side of the boat.

Ashton tells Michael, no. Please don’t do that. In his interview, Ashton says, what the hell does Michael think he’s doing? He’s beyond drunk, and he’ll snap the kayak, and himself. Michael says Ashton is effing up his kayak experience, but commends Ashton on saying it properly. He puts his arm around Ashton, and Ashton says at least he got the message. Simone tells Courtney that she’ll finish up. Ashton puts the slide away by himself. Brian tosses and turns in pain.

Kate asks Kevin to practice his pirate talk. He says, arghhh! Kate says, yay! Pirate day! It’s not the most  gentile, elegant thing, but she can play along. Shiver me timbers. Arghhh! In Brian’s interview, he says his knee is worse. He couldn’t sleep, but he’s not the type of person who can do nothing, especially since he’s lead deckhand. He feels guilty. Ashton looks at Brian’s knee, and in his interview, he says he tried having a positive mindset, but he needs to deal with the fact that he might lose Brian. One of the guests is stoked that it’s pirate day. Kate tells Kevin that she can only use one hand. When he asks, why? she says she only has one, and shows him the hook prop on her other one. I actually have one of those because we did Peter Pan one year for Halloween.

Kate tells Kevin that she’s a leprechaun pirate. Captain Lee tells Ashton, be ready to rock and roll at 8:30. Kate gives the captain a gentle reminder that it’s pirate day. He says, them’s that dies be the lucky ones, and she says, totally. They pull anchor. Kate tells Courtney, she looks like she’s a lame not-team player. She’s working with a hook. She says it’s Courtney’s last chance to choose her own outfit or she will. The captain asks about Brian, and says if he sees his ass up and around, he’ll have his ass. He gives Ashton the helm, and says he has a new deckhand coming. Brian is so close to being down, he wants to get her on board. In his interview, Captain Lee says, when you’re shorthanded, you run the risk of injury. It’s dangerous, and they can’t continue down this road. Ashton asks if he can look at a copy of the deckhand’s CD, and the captain says he already knows her. It’s Ryleigh. In Ashton’s interview, he says, you have to be effing kidding. Captain Lee says they’ll see if she learned anything.

This season, elephants; Captain Lee tells the crew that some of them aren’t getting his two rule message – don’t embarrass themselves or the boat; Ryleigh says she’s back, bitches; Ashton isn’t ready for this; Ryleigh says she’ll make Brian forget Courtney; Kevin says it’s getting heated; Alexis Bellino is a guest; a guest calls Kate a bitch; a nasty child; Kate hopes the boat sinks, and a cat in a snuggly.

📺 Tonight, I also watched a rerun of Watch What Happens Live, the Bravocon edition, aka WWHL at Bravocon. While I still wish I could have gone, holy! it was crowded. During the show, Andy basically trotted out all the Bravolebrities, so there was a massive amount of people on stage as well, but I can’t imagine even standing in an autograph line with this many people. You would have needed some kind of VIP ticket just to survive, and I’ve been to crowded conventions. I loved seeing LVP, joining the Vanderpump Rules cast, along with Puffy. She looked like the princess she is. I’ll never give up wishing she’d adopt me. Even with all my dogs, her house is so huge, she’d never even know I was there if she didn’t want to. And I’d treat her so much better than Cedric, or whatever the hell his name was. That POS from the first season of RHOBH. The highlight was Andy introducing Kim Zolciak, and not knowing the words to Tardy for the Party, but singing along anyway. You know. Like you do in the car. They played Squash That Beef, and Ramona had to go up quite a few times. Shep, Jax, and Vicki won the drawing for the shotski. The whole thing must have been insane.

👓 I also checked out Blind Date, and was not impressed. The premise is exactly what you’d think, watching a blind date, but stupid pop-ups are scattered throughout. Dating: No Filter (on E!) is a thousand times better. I think the narrator for Blind Date might have been the same person who narrates the Olive Garden commercials, since for a moment, I thought the couple went to Olive Garden when I was looking at an ad. I give it a D-.

🚣 Because It’s Stuck In My Head Now…

Arghhh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 21, 2019 – Three Collapses in Port Charles, Girls’ Night In, New Shows, Leida Drama, Gaga in Vegas & Speechless

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sonny and Carly walk into the MetroCourt. Carly asks if going to Morgan’s grave helped, and Sonny says, maybe. But eventually they need to do what needs be done. Carly wonders why Ava is there.

Lucy tells Ava that she doesn’t know what Doc was thinking taking up with the likes of her. Ava says for someone who’s been with him off and on for years, she knows very little about him.

Curtis tells Laura that Ava and Lucy are squaring off. If it gets physical, who does she like? Laura says if he quotes her, she’ll deny it, but its Lucy all the way. She’ll take Lucy over Ava any day.

Lucy says Ava doesn’t know Doc. He’s a good person, and has a deep, wonderful heart filled with compassion and forgiveness. While Ava is a toxic cocktail of vanity and misery.

Elizabeth congratulates Kim on delivering a baby in the parking garage. Kim is distracted, and says Oscar hasn’t checked in.

Underground, Josslyn stomps on a floor, and asks Oscar what he thinks. He says, amazing. It sounds hollow. She says the catacombs are below them.

Sonny tells Carly that he and Ava agreed on a truce for Avery’s sake. Carly thought Ava was leaving town, and says, as good a psychiatrist as Doc is, he made a mistake trashing his marriage to be with Ava.

Lucy says Ava is full of bile and malice, and alienates anyone unfortunate enough to see a sliver of good in her.

Laura asks Jordan if there’s any news. Jordan says all the precincts reported in, and there have been no bodies found. She says it’s awful to be relieved at something like that. She asks how the book launch went. Curtis says, it was interesting, but nothing major happened – until now.

Ava says Lucy is just jealous that she and Doc are together. Lucy says, it’s not going to last, and thinks it’s just pity. It’s not in Doc’s nature to abide anyone who causes harm to others.

The doorknob to Lulu’s office jiggles. She asks, who’s there? It’s not-Doc. She lets him in, and says she thought he was going to the party. He says he got her message, and his plans changed. He closes the door behind him. She asks how many people Ryan killed, and he tells her, nine. She says, only seven came up when she was researching it. When her back is to him, he slips her driver’s license out of her purse. He lists the women Ryan killed, but she doesn’t have two of them. He says the names didn’t come up anywhere because the murders were never solved.

Anna sits in a wheelchair at the reception area, and Finn asks if she isn’t jumping the gun; she’s not discharged yet. She asks if that isn’t just a formality. He tells her the hospital functions on formalities, and she’s supposed to stay in her room in the meantime. She wants to put this behind her, but she understands how lucky she is. Finn says her body responded to treatment, and Griff has given her the all clear. She says, thank God it’s over, and thanks him for dealing with the virus. She wishes she knew how she got it, and he says he does too.

At Chase’s apartment, he takes Willow’s coat. She says she never appreciated Port Charles like she does now. It’s nice to enjoy a meal in safety. Chase says he can eat in the hallway and be a lookout, but she says she wouldn’t want him to do that. He wants her to feel safe with him.

Josslyn tells Oscar, the cellar was built in 1850, and the town can’t decide whether to fill it in or fix and preserve it. Oscar votes for preservation. It’s a piece of history. He can’t believe they haven’t explored the catacombs yet, but Josslyn says she’d forgotten about it. She tells him that the seniors had to be lying, and if they found a way in, there’s no reason the two of them couldn’t. Oscar says, maybe they missed one. Josslyn says the Black Duck was built over the catacombs. There’s got to be a way in through there.

Michael thanks Lucas for meeting him. Lucas says, it sounded serious. Michael wants to talk about Wiley’s future. Lucas asks if he means in general, or something specific. Michael gives him a document, and says he’s set up a college fund. Lucas says Michael is too generous, but he can’t accept it. Michael asks Lucas to let him do this; he loves Wiley, and it has nothing do with him losing Jonah. He’s Wiley’s godfather, and he wants to help. Lucas thanks him for his generosity and courage. He doesn’t know how Michael does it. He can’t imagine losing Wiley.

Laura sits with Sonny and Carly. Laura suggest Carly give her mother a call. Laura only came in toward the end, but she guesses the book isn’t just about the town; it’s about the people who live there. Sonny asks if he should be worried, and Laura says he should be warned. No one was left unscathed.

Lucy says Ava doesn’t deserve Doc, and Ava says, but she does? Lucy says she didn’t kill anybody’s father, but Ava says not everybody might agree. Lucy says, Victor swallowed the necklace all on his own, and she tried to save him. That makes her worthier than the woman who killed Connie Falconari, and tricked Sonny into murdering AJ. Ava says she didn’t do that. Lucy says she just hasn’t been convicted. Ava says Lucy is right about Doc. He has a kind forgiving heart.

Lulu asks if Ryan told not-Doc about the murders before he died, and why didn’t he tell the police? Not-Doc says it’s a shame a driver’s license doesn’t capture a person’s soul. She asks what he’s doing. He says she’s an investigative reporter. Tell him what she thinks he’s doing.

Finn tells Anna that he neutralized the virus, meaning it will never flare up again, as opposed to it being dormant, where there are no signs, but the virus is still active. She asks how long she’s had it, but he says they have no way of telling. It could have been years. She says if it’s been in her body indefinitely, what changed? Why did she go blind?

Chase gives Willow a glass of wine, and she thanks him for making it easy. He says she’s the one making it easy. It’s nice to be with someone so honest. Some people in his life haven’t been. He says he’s heard it’s unattractive to talk about exes on a date, but she says she likes hearing about other people’s mistakes. Then she doesn’t feel as bad about her own.

Laura suggests Sonny encourage Dante to come home. The long separation from Lulu isn’t good. Sonny says he didn’t know it would be so long. Laura wonders why the WSB can’t do a manhunt without a member of the local police. Sonny says, the man he’s chasing almost killed Luke. Lucy asks if she could talk to Sonny, and Laura tells them, have fun. She and Carly leave the table, and Lucy tells Sonny the book launch was a huge success, and thanks him. Carly asks Laura if she’s expecting someone, and Laura says her daughter was supposed to cover the book launch, and missed the entire thing. Sitting alone, Ava wonders where Doc is.

Lulu tells not-Doc that he’s scaring her. Her mother and husband have been worried about him for some time, thinking the anniversary of the murders took its toll on him. He says, they certainly had an effect. She says she wanted to make sure the victims were treated respectfully, including him. He says he’s not one of Ryan’s victims. She says he had a breakdown and convinced himself that he was Ryan, and he seems be thinking that way now. He says, for the record, her articles weren’t displeasing. Pedestrian writing aside, she managed to capture a spark of Ryan’s genius. She tries to run around him, but he says, time’s up. He’s given her hint after hint, and the truth is staring her in the face. She sees who he is. She says, not Ryan; he’s dead. He takes out a knife, and tells her, if she’s going to be a reporter, she needs to be diligent about checking facts.

Josslyn tells Oscar that they’re on top of the catacombs. She’s sure there’s an entrance, but they’ve been over every inch. There’s no way in, unless they go through the floor. Oscar doesn’t think that’s a good idea; the floor is shaky as it is. The boards are probably rotted since it was built in 1800. Josslyn says she’s sorry, but he’s glad they came. She says she wanted to make one thing work, but he tells her, after weeks of sitting in the hospital playing Go Fish and Celebrity, he’s doing something cool. It doesn’t matter if they make it to the catacombs. They’re here together.

Kim wishes she could keep Oscar all to herself, and Elizabeth says, he’s her baby. Kim says, he’s also fifteen, and she wants him to have a normal life, until he can’t. She supposes that doesn’t include hanging out with mom. Elizabeth thinks she should share that with Josslyn. She can get him to fall in line. Kim says she and Drew have given him free reign over his time, on the condition he check in every three hours to let them know he’s fine. It’s been great up to now. It’s been three hours and fifty-two minutes. She thinks she should be saying it’s probably nothing to worry about, but Elizabeth says, when it’s your kid, you worry.  

Lulu lies on the floor. Not-Doc cleans his knife. She struggles to get up, and he says he missed. He won’t make that mistake again. All of a sudden, he grabs his head and drops to the floor. Lulu stumbles around him. He makes a grab for her, but she gets out the door. Not-Doc passes out.

Chase tells Willow, his ex was one huge mistake in a series of catastrophic ones. She did a number on him. He’s past it, but part of something like that sticks with you. Willow kisses him, and he says that was a nice surprise. She says for her too. He wants her to know he’s not the kind of guy who thinks dinner and drinks entitle him to something else. He likes her too much to rush in and screw things up. She says, if anyone screwed up, it’s her, letting him believe something that’s not true. She wants to set it right. She needs to come clean.

Carly says Sonny told her about Ava’s request. To be clear, there’s no way they’re going to let her leave town with Avery, never mind the country. Ava says Avery is all she has left. She shouldn’t have come to Port Charles in the first place. Carly thinks she should leave, and Ava says she needs to have her one remaining child with her, at least part of the time. Carly tells her to do what she needs to do, but Avery stays there. The elevator door opens, and Lulu staggers out to Laura, dropping to the floor. Laura says she’s been stabbed; call 911. She tells Lulu to stay with her. Ava says, just like Kiki. Lucas puts pressure on Lulu’s wound, and tells her, keep breathing. Laura begs Lulu to stay with them and breathe.

Finn tells Anna that he could go through other cases, but it’s like finding a needle in a haystack. The nature of the virus and it’s transfer remain a mystery for now. She says she called Robert, asking for any intel on the virus. He hasn’t called back yet, so that means he probably does, and he’ll let her know in his own sweet time. Finn says, spies are weird, and Anna says, yeah.

Willow tells Chase, when they first met, he saw a pamphlet on grieving parents in her car. She said it was for someone else, but she lied; it was for her. Chase tells her not to be offended, but he wouldn’t be a good detective if he hadn’t figured that out. She says he knew all along, and he says he strongly suspected, but now that she’s told him, he’s sorry for her loss. She says that’s why she’s so bad at dating. She’s only ever been with one man; the baby’s father. He says she doesn’t have to say anything, but she wants to talk about it. They didn’t stay together. He says, losing a baby is hard, but she says she didn’t lose the baby. That is, he didn’t die. In the support group, they think that’s what happened, but she couldn’t find a group that matched her situation. Her baby is alive, but she gave him up for adoption. Um… I’m sure there’s an online group for that.

At the hospital, the doctor says there’s one internal wound, and heavy bleeding. Lucas tells Laura that Lulu has been stabilized, and they’re getting her to the ER as soon as possible. She’s lost a lot of blood, but he thinks she got to them in time. Laura says she came by Lulu’s office; why did she leave? Sonny tells her not to blame herself.

Not-Doc feels around for the elevator button. I guess he can’t see? One of the doors opens, and he gets in.

Carly tells Ava that she’s free to go, but Ava says she’s waiting for Doc. Carly says she may want to call him. Lulu was attacked, and only hotel guests are allowed in the building. Carly says she’s going to the hospital, and Ava asks for an update when she gets there. Not-Doc stumbles out of the elevator, feeling around. Ava asks what happened. He says he thought the electricity went out, but the elevator was still moving. He can’t see. Called it.

The doctor tells Laura that Lulu is stable, and in the OR now. They won’t know how severe her injury is until they operate. Laura asks to see her, just for a moment. She goes in, and Elizabeth tells her that Lulu isn’t in any pain. Laura goes to Lulu’s bedside, and pets her head. She tells Lulu that she loves her. So many people do, especially Rocco and Charlotte. They need her, and Laura needs her. She begs Lulu to please stay with them.

Carly arrives, and asks how Lulu is. Sonny says she’s stabilized. Carly says she called Valentin, and both kids are asleep. She prays when they wake up, they still have a mother.

Willow hopes Chase doesn’t think she didn’t love her baby enough to take care of it. He doesn’t, and she says she knows she did the best for her son, but there hasn’t been one second when she doesn’t miss him. Chase can’t imagine how hard a decision it was. At least she knows he’s alive and well, and in a good home. She says she almost didn’t go through with it. She almost took her baby back. Chase asks why she didn’t? and she says he was already in a loving home; that’s what she was told. As much as it hurts, she believes he’s better off.

Carly tells Sonny that Lulu isn’t the only reason she’s there. She and Ava found Doc. He said he had a terrible headache, and lost his sight. They’re checking him out now, but there’s no explanation so far.

Curtis and Jordan examine Lulu’s office. Curtis says it looks like she put up a fight, and Jordan says, damn right. Judging from the blood on the floor, she was stabbed by her desk, and moved out. When she stood up, the killer must have still been there. Curtis sees the knife on the floor. He says, it’s the same M.O., but this time, they left their weapon.

Ava says not-Doc must be terrified, and he says he’s been through worse. He wonders if anyone knows how he lost his eyesight so quickly. Ava tells him Carly said something about Lulu being attacked. He asks if she’s all right, and would Ava do him a favor, and check on her and Laura. She says Lulu is in surgery, and she’s the last person Laura wants to see. He says she’s asking for both of them. He thinks she’d feel better if she knows another child didn’t suffer the same fate as Kiki. Ava says she’ll ask the nurse.

Kim asks Carly if she’s heard from Josslyn. She can’t reach Josslyn or Oscar. Carly says Josslyn told her that they wanted work on the planner. Kim says they want to cross things off the list, and hopes they didn’t do anything foolish.

Oscar tells Josslyn that he wants to stay; he likes it there. Josslyn thinks he’s just saying that to make her feel better about her brilliant inspiration being a total lapse. He says she’s more disappointed than she is. She wishes she could make it better, and he says she is, by being there. She says she’s been wishing for miracles, even though she knows he hates them. Wishing for them and hating them are both weird. He says he hates how people use them as an excuse not to talk about death. He’s dying, and maybe he wants to talk about it now and then. Josslyn says if he wants to talk about death, they can. She can’t promise not to get emotional, but anything he wants to say, she’ll listen. He can’t imagine being gone. He imagines what it would be like to climb Mount Kilimanjaro with his dad. He doesn’t think as much about the actual climbing, since that requires training; just about being at the top. She’s with them sometimes, and sometimes, it’s just her and him. That’s when it’s the most beautiful. The worst part of thinking about dying is leaving her, and how much he’ll miss her. He puts his arm around her, and she snuggles against him.

Willow tells Chase the baby’s father couldn’t be in the picture for all kinds of reasons. She tells herself that she did the right thing, but knowing her son is out there, and someone else is holding him is more painful than she imagined. She says now she’s completely derailed the evening, but he says, not at all. He’s glad she told him. So is she, but she still thinks she should go. Chase says he’ll walk her to her car.

Michael tells Laura that he heard chatter on the police radio that evidence was found in Lulu’s office. Sonny asks if it’s enough to ID the killer, but Michael doesn’t know. Laura says there were officers everywhere, and the killer still managed to attack her daughter. She doesn’t know what it will take to stop him.

Curtis sees a bloody footprint on the floor, and says, jackpot. Jordan says they’ve finally caught a break. The killer has stared making mistakes. Curtis says if they find the owner of the shoes, they’ll find the serial killer.

Ava tells not-Doc that Lulu is’t good. She may not make it. He heaves a sigh of relief, but says, that’s just awful. Ava shows him his shoes, which are in a bag, and says she’ll make herself useful. She’ll take those home, and bring back some slippers for him. She leaves.

Elizabeth tells Anna that Lulu was attacked. She’s in surgery, and Doc is in the hospital too. He says he can’t see. Anna tells Finn that they need to find Doc.

Carly tells Elizabeth that she’s been calling Josslyn and Oscar, and getting no response. She asks if Elizabeth can call Cameron.

Josslyn is freezing. She suggests they go back to her house, make popcorn and hot chocolate, and watch a movie. Oscar passes out. Josslyn tells him it will be okay.

A lot of collapsing going on today.

Tomorrow, Chase introduces his godson to Willow, Oscar wonders how they’ll get out if Josslyn doesn’t go for help, and Carly tells someone Josslyn is in trouble.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa arrives at SUR, which is now open for brunch. Billie wanted to host something to promote the LGBTQ profile, and it’s packed. Lisa asks why James is there, and he says he’s there to say hi to Billie. Lisa says Billie defended James at the meeting, and he says he came to support her brunch. Lisa is glad to see him sober. Billie comes over and says people are loving it. She’s grateful to Lisa. Lisa talks about going to Stassi’s new event.

Stassi is on the phone, setting up photos. Outfit of the Day is now a holiday she started. Beau comes out in overalls, and she’s like, no. He says he’s comfortable. She asks if he can find something to wear that he’s just as comfortable in, but that’s not that. The day is about being yourself, and expressing your individuality and unique style, but she has to draw the line somewhere, and the line is at overalls. She explains that she found a company where she could submit a holiday. They told her to get a website up, and it was approved. In her interview, she says Patrick thought OOTD was cringy, and she’d have to sneak off to take photos. Beau is supportive, even making her a hashtag to hang up. She tells him that she’s doing everything to be good, but no matter what, her mom constantly tells her that she’s not good. We flash back to one of the many times in two episodes that Dayna was being an a-hole. Stassi says she needs a break from her mother. Beau tells her not to get wrapped up in all that, and she says she’s a holiday owner now.

Billie says it’s all about the good vibe. Kristen comes in with Katie, and Billie wonders why she’s there. Tom says, she’s been banned from the restaurant four times, and Billie says, Lisa needs to re-ban her. In Billie’s interview, she says, starting sh*t is Kristen’s thing, and her energy smells like dogsh*t. My question is, why is Billie looking like a somewhat dowdy 50s housewife? She goes over to their table, and says it’s random to see them there. The last time they talked, it wasn’t good. They were talking about James negatively. Kristen says Billie doesn’t know what she’s talking about, and Billie says he’s one of her close friends. Kristen doesn’t think Billie should be friends with him at all, but Billie says Kristen is holding a lot of anger, and campaigning hate. Katie says Billie is campaigning to get Kristen banned. In her interview, Katie says, there are bottles of tequila behind the bar that have been at SUR longer than Billie. Billie says she doesn’t want drama, and Kristen says she’s there as a customer, and Billie is creating drama at her table. Kinda weird. Billie tells them, enjoy brunch, and disappears, poof! because she knows what Kristen said is true.

Stassi tells us this is the begging of the empire she wants to create; her own version of Lisa’s empire, but instead of classic elegance, National OOTD day is more like, basic bitch. Tom says since he’s off duty, he can flex his OOTD. Schwartz wants a National Mumu Day.

Jax wonders if he was disrespectful. Brittany tells Jax that she hates conflict, especially with Lisa.

Katie tells Scheana what happened with Billie. Lala says it’s pathetic. She tells the girls that she’s going to the studio with James tonight. Katie wanted them come over to make flyers. In her interview, Katie says she wanted the girls to come together and make something new for Tuesdays. Katie is confused as to why Lala wants to hang out with James, especially when they’re figuring out Tuesday. Lala says, at one point, James was her only friend. Kristen appreciates that, but she doesn’t know what to say. Katie thinks the only way James will hit rock bottom is if he thinks he won’t have Lala in his life. He thinks it’s all good now. In Lala’s interview, she says she let her guard down, and felt for James, but now that she’s been talking to Katie and Kristen, her gut is speaking to her. She feels like James played her again, and Lala is no fiddle

Lisa agrees with Stassi that dressing up enhances your self-esteem. Stassi gives an interview, saying she loves classic, feminine, timeless styles. Lala wants Tom and Ariana to make a baby. Ariana asks if she can do it in a test-tube, and wonders when men will be getting pregnant. In Tom’s interview, he says him getting pregnant might be the only way he and Ariana will have a baby. Knock him up. Lisa joins them. Tom wonders when the big reveal is. In her interview, Lisa says she and Ken have been working tirelessly on TomTom. We see a clip of that. She tells Tom it’s going to be in a few days when everything is unwrapped and in place.

Stassi has Beau check Instagram, and he says OOTD is on fire. Stassi is pleased that thanks to her, all these people are taking pictures of themselves in their outfits, when they’d never felt confident enough before. She wants to do it every year. More and more people will get involved, and one day it will be a federal holiday, and schools and banks will be closed. You’re welcome. She tells Beau that she’s going to try so hard, and puts a piece of burger in his mouth with hers. Bleh.

Brittany and Scheana take pictures in front of a flower wall. Brittany tells Lisa that she was a nervous wreck at the meeting. She doesn’t usually speak her mind. When she did, she didn’t want Lisa to get mad at her, but Lisa said she was disappointed. In Lisa’s interview, she says if she based every decision on business and money, Jax wouldn’t be there. She tells Brittany, when Jax was yelling, she didn’t need his input. Not everything is black and white. Jax joins them, and Brittany tells him they were talking about the meeting. Jax says when he sees his fiancé crying, he has to step up. Lisa say she’s not ready for his attitude again, but he says he’s just defending his fiancé. She says he doesn’t need to be negative and rude, and maybe she needs to teach him how. He thinks she should focus on James. Lisa says she doesn’t need him telling her that. In her interview, Brittany says that she used to think she made Jax look better, but now that they’re engaged, when he acts like this, he makes her look worse. Lisa says she was talking to Brittany. Jax says he just wanted to apologize, but Lisa says she missed the apology. Jax says he’s sorry, and Lisa thanks him. In Jax’s interview, he says he can’t win with Lisa. She’s always going to treat him like the old Jax. James could set fire to SUR, and she’d say, Jax, you thought about doing this. Brittany tells Lisa that she and Jax go at each other, but Lisa says he’s working for her, and needs to show respect.

Ariana goes to Katie’s. Katie says everyone is an hour late. Jax came by, yelling about how Brittany is stressing out. Ariana says she’s not doing this for the next year; making everything about the wedding. In her interview, Katie says Jax was screaming that Lisa was on Brittany’s case, and how no one believes he’s really changed. There’s eleven months until the wedding. Chill. The other girls arrive, and they discuss having a girl’s night. Katie says they’ll forget who James is. Brittany says they’re about to blow that sh*t out of the water. They don’t need James. Ariana says Tom is going to the studio with James, who asked him to bring his trumpet. She was like, Tom, please don’t.

But he did, and we hear him playing badly. He tells James to make him sound like Lala. James was expecting something sexy and sultry, which Lala could have given him. In his interview, he says he sees her in her Rolls with her coffee, and he’s paying out of pocket for studio time. If you say you’re going to come, show up. Tom doesn’t want the sound synthesized, and James says he loves the organic sound. In this case, I guess organic means bad. Tom asks if he’s as good as Lala, and James says, yeah, but I don’t think he’s saying that in his head. Tom asks if James and Lala are friends again, and James says, it’s complicated.

The girls decide on Girls’ Night In for the name of their event. Lala tells them that she loves them.

James says the girls act like they’re playing Duck, Duck, Goose; a child’s game. He wonders who the duck is that the chicks are following, causing his game reference to make no sense. That Katie is doing his Tuesday night is a gutting feeling. In his interview, James says Katie won’t stop reminding him what a bitch she is. She wants to change everything, but the people were coming there for him. James says he hopes it goes well. He sounds sincere, confusing me even more.

In Lala’s interview, she says every person in the world has seen her boobs, so she doesn’t mind bringing them out for a good cause. They create a flyer with the text covering Lala’s nipples: SUR presents Girls’ Night In. Katie thinks Jax should chill out. In her interview, Brittany thinks everyone is waiting for them to mess up. We flash back to various comments from the others about Jax. Brittany wonders when everyone is going to believe they’re happy. Brittany tells the girls that she’s on the brim of freaking out. She leaves, saying she’s not doing this sh*t anymore, but isn’t specific about what this sh*t is, other than saying something unintelligible about her relationship. Back home, she tells Jax that she’s going to lose it, and to give her a second.

Scheana thinks Brittany lets little things affect her in a big way. Jax quickly blows  in and out, the girls telling him to let Brittany freak out. Scheana gets a text from Brittany saying she’s not mad at them. She’s just having a bad weird day. Katie wonders if she’d feel this way if she wasn’t marrying Jax.

Jax asks if Brittany is all right; what’s going on? She says she’s about to lose it. These are her best friends, and Katie was complaining about Jax talking about the wedding. She keeps hearing everyone talking, and it’s giving her a pit in her stomach, thinking Lisa is mad at her. She feels like she’s constantly keeping the peace between Lisa and Jax. Jax says he was sticking up for her. She says she knows that, and Jax says he’s damned if he does, and damned if he doesn’t. She feels like they have to prove they’re in a great place, but Jax says only to themselves. In Brittany’s interview, she feels like their friends are pulling them back to the same place, and she just want everyone to be happy for them. Jax tells her, don’t worry about it.

Lala and Scheana go to see Lala’s acting coach, Shannon. In her interview, Scheana says she’s dusting off her acting chops, and went back to her old manager. She hasn’t been in class for a long time. She prefers cold reads, but she and Lala are doing some improv. Shannon tells Lala that she’s Scheana’s boss, and Scheana has been screwing up a lot at work. Scheana starts telling Lala her excuses, which sound exactly like things out of Scheana’s real life. In Lala’s interview, she says Scheana is being herself. She loves acting because she gets to be everyone who isn’t her, but Scheana is so vain, she can’t imagine being anyone else. Shannon wants to play with illusions, and tells them to act out orgasms. In Scheana’s usual TMI way, she says she’ll be great at this, since she never had one until last year. They both go for it, and Lala says the Oscar winning performance goes to Scheana.

Stassi visits Katie and Schwartz. Stassi tells Katie that #NationalOOTDDay got over a thousand posts. Katie says Stassi really turned it out. She’s excited for tonight. Schwartz says he likes to take the high road, but hopes they’re more successful than James. Katie wants make everyone happy whose been bummed, but then yesterday happened. Billie took to social media, saying the girls at her job didn’t include the trans girl. She’s trying to insinuate that they left her out because she’s trans. Ariana says she even asked Billie to come. Now she’s gone on a smear campaign. We see a clip of her asking Katie about inviting Billie, and Katie says everyone is invited, but she does need her to help. Katie says she doesn’t pretend to know the adversity Billie has come up against, but she’s had nothing but compassion and support.

Scheana doesn’t like what Billie has been saying on social media. It’s not about her being trans. Lala says it’s hurtful. In her interview, Lala says she liked Billie when they first met, but in the past year, she’s been nothing but rude. She stirs the pot, and now she’s liking posts that are saying the girls at SUR are transphobic. Now it’s a thing. Schwartz says if she feels left out, it’s a real thing, but she should have approached them personally. Katie says she only had the people over who were planning the party, but Billie was invited to the party. Stassi says Billie acts the opposite of what she says her message is.

At SUR, before Girls’ Night In, Peter tells Katie if they’re replacing James, he was there several nights a week. She says tonight isn’t about James, and it’s a trial run. Manager Diana tells her the room is packed. In her interview, Katie says they got a masseuse, a sparkle bar, and DJ Mickey. James isn’t the only person that can make a ton of money for SUR. Ariana brings in some fancy vodka for shots, promising it’s like liquid gold. Kristen says, it’s insane; so many people. In Stassi’s interview, she says they don’t need James to be successful.

Raquel asks James if every Tuesday night is going to be Girls’ Night, and James says he hopes not. Tom arrives. In his interview, Tom says he’d like to be at the first Girls’ Night In, but they’re having a night in with robes and rosé. He wants to make sure James knows he’s there for him. DJing on Tuesday nights was his identity. He says Schwartz says it’s already packed, and there’s a line out the door. In James’s interview, it pisses him off that Katie is having her night on Tuesday, and now Lala’s boobs are getting the credit.

The place is jumping, but people are packed so tight, I can’t imagine it’s very comfortable. Everyone is taking photos, and the girls are dancing on the bar, and pouring shots. Lisa tells Ken, the girls have done it. James won’t be thrilled, but she has to give the girls their due. She says, it must be girl power or p*ssy power or something. Billie arrives, whines that she wasn’t included, and didn’t know about the event until it was posted. I assume along with everyone else who wasn’t in on the planning, so…? In her interview, she says, as a child, she wasn’t allowed to go to girls’ things, and missed out on a lot. It made her feel like she was wrong, and she felt a rush of shame at not being included.

Ariana climbs over the bar, going over to see Billie. She says she doesn’t want Billie to feel excluded. And Billie asks why she left out the trans woman. Ariana says it’s becoming something it’s not. It’s her personal beef with Katie that has to be worked out. in her interview, Ariana says she’s in the middle of two girls who are her friends. She has empathy for Billie’s position, but at the same time, Billie just had an altercation with Katie. Ariana wouldn’t invite her either. Katie asks, what’s going on? and Billie repeats her gripe about not being included. Katie says, tonight is for everyone, so stop making it something it’s not. Her posts are perpetuating the insinuation that they’re discriminatory. Billie says they never included the trans woman. In Billie’s interview, she tells us that she never called them transphobic. She just liked a few comments from supportive people about being excluded. She tells Katie, an apology would have been good. Katie says Billie is the one who needs to apologize. Billie says Katie doesn’t get it. Cis privileged for sure. Katie tells her, stop it. Ariana wants them to be able to talk it out, but says no one is listening to her.

Katie tells Lala what Billie said about her being cis privileged. Lala says, eff that bitch. In her interview, Lala tells us that she doesn’t quite know what that means, but if it came out of Billie’s mouth, it’s effed up. 

Lisa tells Katie, it’s crazy, and asks if they’re doing this every Tuesday. Katie asks if Lisa wants them to, and Lisa says she does. Katie says she’ll do it. The line down the street blew her expectations out of the water, but to hear Lisa say it, confirms it. Katie tells the others, and they toast to Girls’ Night In. In Kristen’s interview, she dances around, saying she won. James is done.

Tom listens to his own playing, and makes faces, saying things like, that’s gotta go. He tells James, edit the sh*t out of that,

Lisa says, it’s a raving success. Billie joins her table, and Lisa asks if she’s having fun. Billie says, no. She wasn’t included in the planning, and didn’t know about it until it was posted. She says she wasn’t tagged in the original post. Lisa knows she’s coming from her trans experience of not being included, but she’s here. Billie ignores this, and says she’s trans and it’s Girls’ Night; her pronoun. They’re not being sensitive. Lisa gets how much Billie has endured, but thinks that’s a separate issue. The girls probably organized it between themselves, but that has nothing to do with Billie being trans. She’s never heard a negative comment about that, and everyone has had the utmost admiration for Billie. In Lisa’s interview, she understands that Billie’s had a difficult journey, but they’ve all been welcoming and supportive. Once again ignoring what Lisa just said, Billie tells Lisa that her feelings were hurt. Katie is crying about her weight all the time. Lisa says, it wasn’t deliberate, but Billie says if Katie can pull the fat card, she can pull the trans card. Lisa says she’s not hearing any more of this nonsense.

Next time, Billie tells Lala she’s not better than everyone just because she has a rich boyfriend, Lala calls Billie a psychopath, Tom has an 80s roller rink birthday party, and the big reveal.

👸 Interesting. IMO, they treated Billie exactly like one of the girls. If we’re pissed at you, we’re not including you in the planning of the party. She’s also seems to have confused the planning party (if you want to call it that) with the event itself. Seems to me they never even considered her to be anything but one of the girls. and it’s her own projection. I get why, but she needs to woman-up and admit she’s wrong. On Twitter.

📺 I saw a preview for Mexican Dynasties, premiering Tuesday, February 26th at 10 pm, and it looks good. Don’t Be Tardy starts its new season on Sunday, February 17th at 9 pm. As much as I don’t care for Kim Zolciak, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and especially Kim on RHOA, I like this show. Zany is the perfect word for it.

🙊 After Watch What Happens Live, at 11:30, Bravo aired a new show, Dating: No Filter, and I think it’s a keeper. It’s like People’s Couch, but the people on the couch are critiquing couple’s first dates. The dates were pretty awful, but the critiques were funny as hell. They’re airing episodes all week at 10:30 pm on E!

Gay guy after being asked by his date if his family knows he’s gay: We haven’t had that talk yet.

Commenter: Have they seen that shirt?

📓 BTW, Andy Cohen has a stenographer? Stenographers still exist who aren’t retired?

🏥 Leida Continues Her Pursuit of a Medical Career…

No, wait. She doesn’t.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1007042/90-day-fiance-s-eric-and-leida-get-police-visit-amid-abuse-accusations?source=email&medium=emn-content-2&cmpid=evening&content=emn-news

The Instagram post where she promises we’ll never have to see her on TV again. I believe it if you believe it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BrSVqLHgtsI/

😍 Because I Love Her…

No surprise, Lady Gaga’s Vegas looks are incredible.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1007022/see-every-incredible-look-from-lady-gaga-s-dual-las-vegas-shows?source=email&medium=emn-content-6&cmpid=evening&content=emn-news#photo-973686

🎶 Since We’re On the Subject…

My favorite Gaga song.

 

September 27, 2015 — Fairy Tales, Zombies & Kim, Oh My!

Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon A Time

This show seems like it’s written by a bunch of ex-Disney employees on cocaine. Or as Mr. Hand would say, “on dope.” And I mean that in a good way. You never know who is going to show up – Cinderella, King Arthur, the Wicked Witch of whatever direction is in vogue. I’m waiting for the Peanuts gang to stop by any second.

I’d watched some of the show before the season premiere, where the cast and writers answered fan’s questions. Apparently, this show has achieved mini cultlike status. I didn’t think I was the only one watching it, because it keeps getting renewed, but I hadn’t realized how attached many people are to it. They continually said that it’s a “story about hope.” I can’t say I read a lot into it myself, although I do have shows and movies I feel that way about, so I’m impressed. My reasons for watching are much more shallow. The fabulous sets and costumes, and Captain Hook. He ain’t Walt Disney’s Captain Hook. It is also a lot of fun, characters from every favorite childhood story, living normal lives in a parallel world, while they wield their magic in whatever world they came from, be it Neverland or an enchanted forest. Bet you never knew Snow White and Prince Charming had a daughter. Frankly, I never thought about it much either, but that was the crux of the story and it blossomed from there.

Note to whoever does blonde hair on television shows – stop giving the women those silver highlights. They look like they have grey hair. Unless that’s the look you’re going for. That being said, I want to know who designed Emma’s coat in tonight’s episode. It is beyond.

Commercial break. Shouldn’t the “Little People Big Animal Zoo” be called the “Little People Big Animal Habitat?” Just sayin’.

This season, they’re adding Camelot to the mix and I’m wondering if Monty Python’s Flying Circus will come along? The special effects are also a lot of fun, and tonight Sneezy got turned into stone and crumbled into dust. He never did get any respect.

And whatever happened to Pongo?

Fear the Walking Dead

I got confused for a second with it starting off with some guy talking about being a closer, saying he can sell anything but insurance, like he’s a leftover from an Allstate commercial. We’re in some kind of holding tank, which I assume is the quarantine area. Nick is also there.

All right! The Walking Dead is coming back October  11 – Daryl & zombies!

Daniel’s daughter, Ofelia, is hopping up and down and creating a scene at the fence. She wants to see her mother. She tries to get others to go along with her complaining, but no one wants to get involved. Andrew, a soldier she befriended earlier, intervenes. Some guy in the background has had enough and is quitting the soldier business.

In the infirmary, Liza has been recruited to help with the sick. Dr. Exner says they’re short staffed and doesn’t explain where some of the staff went. I’ll bet I can guess.

Meanwhile, back at Madison’s place Chris basically tells Travis he’s a pacifist tool and storms off. Madison finds that Daniel has captured Andrew, who I assume he’s going to pump for information. Andrew gives him a bunch of rhetoric, telling them everything is cool. We all know everything is not cool, except for Travis who lives in Dream Valley with the My Little Ponies. He’s gone off to reason with his buddy, Lt. Moyers, and more rhetoric is given. Travis tells him that if the people who were taken don’t come back soon, the town is not going to be happy. This was really a stupid move, since he gets taken to “see the doctor,” which I think is a euphemism for “you’re not coming back.”

Lieutenant Dickweed will be lucky if his own men don’t end up killing him.

Oh look! It’s a zombie! I’d almost forgotten that’s what this show is about. Moyers wants Travis to kill it – I guess to make some kind of point. IMO this is akin to the Mafia guys in movies who always want to recruit civilians to be hit men. Probably not a good idea if you really want to get the job done. Travis can’t do it, so Moyers does, proving that Travis is willing to let someone else do the dirty work.

Commercial break. Into the Badlands looks amazing. It’s some kind of samurai drama. I don’t need another show to watch though. TV has got to stop being so good. Love those beer ads about “the most interesting man in the world.” IRL, he’s an animal activist. I read this in an article titled, The Most Interesting Man in the World Just Got More Interesting.

Back at the infirmary, a soldier has come in with bite marks and everyone gets real busy real quickly. Travis and the soldiers drive through an evacuated area that’s not so evacuated, since it’s crawling with zombies. When the soldiers are done doing whatever, Travis is told they’re taking him a few blocks away from home and he has to walk the rest of the way. What?!  Thanks a lot!

Apparently, Daniel knows a thing or two about torture and is skinning one of Andrew’s arms. Whoa.  Chris and Alicia have broken into a rich person’s house, play with their expensive toys and try on their expensive clothes. (An homage to the original Dawn of the Dead perhaps?) In the quarantine area, the soldiers are taking everyone’s temperature with a device that they can use from a distance. Cool! Nick’s temp is high (probably from withdrawal), but the Allstate guy keeps him from getting hauled away.

Ofelia is not too happy about Daniel’s means of getting information and walks out of the house. Lots of storming off tonight, even though there’s nowhere to storm off to. Daniel explains to Madison that he had told his daughter about the war he’s been through, but not what part he played in it. He says that sometimes it’s necessary to be evil in order to eradicate evil. He didn’t use those exact words, but I paraphrased. Not bad, eh?

Liza is combing the place for Griselda. She finds her among other “patients” in a locked area where all the people are wrapped up in what look like cocoons. Dr. Exner comes up behind her, and tells her that they have “septic shock” and there isn’t anything anyone can do. I’m guessing these are the people closest to death and they’re being kept far away and confined.

Chris and Alicia trash the rich people’s house just like normal teenagers. Travis makes it home and sees Ofelia practically catatonic.  He is totally appalled at Daniel’s behavior, but hey, it worked. Andrew is spilling everything. It turns out the soldiers are all going to book and the civilians are going to be “humanely terminated.”

The Allstate guy is amused that the people who have everything are now being looked at as lunch. He knows what’s happening with the evacuation, and wants Nick’s help. I’m pretty sure that this guy doesn’t do anything without wanting a favor in return.

Griselda is babbling in Spanish about the past which means I have to read subtitles. Afterward, she promptly dies. Why they have un-cocooned her, I have no clue. That seems kind of dangerous, and the doctor has just said they all come back and to shoot her in the head with some kind of gun used for livestock, which Liza does.

Why the blip is Daniel roaming about alone at night? He wanders all the way to the Los Angeles Arena, where the soldiers have chained a whole load of zombies inside. He watches as the doors begin to shake, reminiscent of when Rick finds the chained doors in the first episode of The Walking Dead. The only thing missing is the warning DO NOT OPEN – DEAD INSIDE.

It looks like next week, we will get full on zombies.

Best quote by Lt. D-bag: I can do anything I want. I got guns.

Don’t Be Tardy

This is one of those shows that I can take or leave, but really enjoy it when I take it. Despite her recent airport tantrum (who hasn’t at least thrown one in their head?), Kim and the rest of the Biermanns seem like lovely, normal (albeit rich) people.

Tonight, Kim made a speech and she got my vote for best real quote of the night. Maybe the year. While addressing a group of women, she said, “Can you imagine if [women] truly shared what they know with each other, how successful they would be?” She said this after talking about how some women will resent others doing well. Brava, Kim! I’ve thought that for a long time.

Don’t Be Tardy also got the award of the millennium for being a true glimpse of reality. Their dog took a poop and promptly ate it, causing Troy to convulse in laughter, and the girls to screech at the top of their lungs. It doesn’t get more real than that.

August 24, 2015 — GH, the OC & Some Biermanns

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Nah. It’s not Nina who killed Silas. And it’s not “Breaking News” either – wtf with this interruption? The news comes on at 4, is this really necessary? If our shores are being attacked, please let me know, but don’t tell me about a bus crash/fire/shooting that you don’t even have the details on, that it’s still raining/snowing/sunny out, or give me a traffic report. I can guarantee you, that if I’m watching General Hospital, I’m not on the road.

A bit of Obrecht today. She’s become one of my favorite characters. Kathleen Gati is a wonderful actress, and I’ve especially loved her contributions to the Nurses Ball. My favorites have always been the villains – without whom we’d have no story – especially the ones who have what I call “the twinkle.” It’s that twinkle in the eye that tells you they’re having a great time playing this character, and they want you to come along for the ride. Faison also has the twinkle. A fan favorite, he refuses to die no matter how many times they kill him off. I was lucky enough to meet Anders Hove, once dubbed “the sexiest man in Denmark” (I concur), and he not only twinkles, he oozes old world charm. Having done a straight-to-video vampire series called Subspecies, I met him at a horror convention in NYC years ago. He was a guest along with Denice Duff, also a soap actress and his co-star in one of the films. Of course I brought a Soap Opera Weekly with me for him to autograph, but I wasn’t sure I was going to get it back, as he & Denice were having such a great time looking at the magazine. At the time, we were promised a prequel Subspecies film, the story involving the history of his character, Radu, prior to becoming a vampire. I was all for this, as I wanted to see him in a film where he wasn’t salivating blood throughout the whole thing. Alas, it never happened, but I still hold out hope. After all, Bruce Campbell finally seems to be accepting the fact that he is Ash, so anything can happen.

OMG – Franco just “confessed” to save Nina. And he didn’t do it either.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Let’s just get right to it. I can’t stand Meghan. It’s surprising that she doesn’t trip all the time, since her nose is so far up in the air. She married into money and it’s a good thing because she’s so brainless, I can’t imagine her functioning in the real world. Although she’s his 4th wife and he seems like a real cretin, so I’m guessing it won’t last. Good luck when your time runs out. What I hate the most is, like Brandi who was recently shown the door from the NY Wives, she seems to be obsessed with knocking the other women because they’re older than she is. Does she think she’s going to remain 30 forever? (Not to mention that all of these women are gorgeous. We should all be so lucky to look like them when we’re “old,” which apparently in Meghan’s mind is 40 to 50.)

Wait, who are those extra women at the end of the table? Oh good, Meghan is crying. Boo…hoo…hoo.

Meghan is one of those women who likes to stir the pot and step back to watch the fireworks. Then, when they’re called on it, they pretend they don’t know what on earth anyone is talking about. (Otherwise known as Tamra Jr.) In a nutshell, Vicki’s (the OG of the OC) boyfriend, Brooks, has cancer. Chemotherapy does not seem to be working for him, so he’s decided to go a different  route. A few of the ladies (sans Vicki) had lunch with a psychic who claimed he “couldn’t see” Brook’s cancer. He back pedaled somewhat afterward, but it was too late. Because Meghan is so freaking narrow-minded and stupid, she can’t comprehend that there might be an alternative treatment other than chemo. (If she says “I can’t wrap my head around it” one more time, I’m going to scream.) She decided to pass this info along to a couple of the other Wives who weren’t at the lunch and this greatly disturbed Shannon, who is also a big believer in alternative medicine. At a subsequent dinner with Vicki and Brooks to celebrate Brook’s birthday, Shannon didn’t exactly let the cat out of the bag, but close enough, and Vicki got pretty upset. When she (Vicki) found out what was actually said, she was none too happy with Meghan.  After receiving a text from Vicki, Meghan insists that it was the psychic who said it, not her, and she is completely innocent. (Excuse me while I choke on my lemon seltzer.) When the ladies all get together for a dinner later, sparks fly, and the episode ends with Meghan calling Vicki “a bitter old woman who’s mad at the world.” What is wrong with this girl? When I was 30, hell, when I was 20, I had the ability to understand that there were things outside the realm of my own experiences, and knew that I would one day age, gleaning from my elders rather than insulting them because they dared to get old. And for someone who claims they “own” everything they say or do, she’s better than Taylor Swift at shaking it off. I can’t wait until that tool of a husband dumps her and she has to get a real job. I’m going to laugh my ass off.

What is really despicable – and there are several Wives who do this – is when nasty comments are made under the guise of being “honest,” or even worse, “caring.”

Shannon’s birthday dinner doesn’t go much better. She and her husband are in counseling, trying to keep their marriage together after his affair. Not only is her birthday reminding her 50th the year before, where David went off to see another woman after “seeing” her, David takes her and their daughters to a sports bar for dinner. Not exactly Shannon’s cup of tea. I’ve heard these two are doing well now, and I’m very glad to hear it. While David is not a favorite of mine, I like Shannon. There are times when she can act batsh*t crazy, but she has reason to be emotional, and this is not the easiest bunch to deal with. I like her sense of humor and I honestly think she’s one of the most real of all the Wives.

Heather sure is having a big house built. The first thing I thought was, more house, more incentive to save junk you don’t need. I’m assuming they have household help, but I just don’t see having a house a mile wide. I’m not that good of a roller skater.

Don’t Be Tardy

Just a quickie here. I have a weird relationship with this show. Since Kim Zolciak (now) Biermann has spun off from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I remain ambivalent on one hand and hypnotized on the other. I constantly say I’m going to skip the show because my television plate is already too full, but I end up seeing one of the late night reruns (excuse me, encore performances) because I’m still up. And enjoying it.

I wasn’t that crazy about Kim when we first met her on the Wives. I was in agreement with Nene Leakes when she said the infamous words, “Close your legs to married men.” But Kim’s daughters seemed so well-adjusted, I knew she couldn’t be all bad. Adding husband Kroy to the mix confirmed that. Highly doubtful that he would have married her, had she been the gold-digging shrew The Wives portrayed her to be.

My hat’s off to the Biermanns. They seem like a lovely, loving family, captivating in the crazy way they function. I especially applaud Kim and Kroy’s parenting skills, and how they ride the fine line between spoiling the kids (because, face it, they have the bucks, so why not?) and keeping them disciplined and grounded.

Maybe that’s why I always end up watching them. Every family is dysfunctional, but they have a knack for making it function for them.