What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jordan says mm-mm-mm like a secretary I used to work with, and tells Curtis that Buzz’s statement rings true, but that also makes him an accomplice. She says he makes for a compelling witness. Curtis says she has to admit that Sonny had nothing to do with the car bomb.

Michael brings lunch to Sonny. Sonny talks about Diane’s maneuverings, and says it looks good for him, but he still misses Morgan. Carly walks in saying she wants to eat immediately, because there’s nothing worse than cold onion rings. I tend to agree, but overcooked pasta is up there too.

Jason sees Elizabeth at The Floating Rib. They talk for a second and Elizabeth gets involved with her phone. Jason asks if everything is okay. Kiki joins them and asks if he’s there to help them with Franco.

Sam visits Alexis. Alexis asks if Sam wants lunch, but Sam is there to talk in private about something. Julian calls from upstairs asking if Alexis has seen his wallet. Sam asks what the hell he’s doing there.

Carly gives Michael and Sonny some souvenir towels from the airport because she didn’t get a chance to go shopping. She bought one for Morgan too, since she forgot. She tells them that Josslyn was crying in the car when she remembered she wasn’t going to see Morgan, and she “isn’t there yet.” Michael says he’ll talk to her. He feels that she might feel differently if it comes from him instead of her mom. Michael leaves, and Sonny asks Carly what about them?

Jordan heaps praises on Curtis for his solid work, and says it should clear Sonny. She’s concerned that the new DA is more interested with the win of nailing Sonny though. Curtis wants to find out where Winston and the boss lady are hiding. Jordan thinks they should bring Buzz in after convincing him that he’s safe with them, but Curtis says that might take some work. He suggests they chill until his truck is repaired.

Alexis asks to speak to Sam alone. Sam says she’s done trying to understand Julian. He leaves, and Sam says she thought she understood Alexis. She asks why Alexis let Julian back in, and Alexis says he’s blackmailing her. Sam asks for what, and Alexis says she hit him with her car and left him for dead. Nothing like getting right to the point.

Elizabeth tells Jason she can deal with it on her own, and Sam can fill Jason in. She and Kiki sit down, and Jason exits. Kiki apologizes for making an assumption. Elizabeth says she’s used to awkward when it comes to Jason and Franco. She wonders if they should call the police, but Kiki says they have a warrant out for Franco’s arrest. They’re charging him Tom’s murder.

Curtis asks if Jordan minds hanging out or wants him to leave. She says that’s on him, and he thinks he should take off. She says she does have other cases to work on. He says he knows she doesn’t like sitting still, and when he comes back, things will be taken care of.

Alexis tells Sam that it was an accident. Sam tells her leaving the scene is a crime, like she doesn’t know. Alexis says she called 911, but later found out that Julian knew, so she allowed him to convalesce in her house. Sam says it makes sense now, and realizes that Winston was looking for Julian. She asks what else Alexis is lying about. Alexis says she’s been drinking from morning to night for months, and that’s why she hit Julian with the car – she was drunk. She tells Sam that she’s deeply ashamed.

Kiki tells Elizabeth about the knife Franco had bought, and says the police mentioned something bizarre about a dog crate with Tom’s DNA on it. She tells Elizabeth about Tom trying to hit on her, and how she helped lure Tom to the studio. She says Franco told her that he was only going to talk to him. Elizabeth says none of it is her fault. Kiki asks if she knows what happened.

Michael greets Josslyn. She says she didn’t want to come back if it meant living with Sonny. Nell tells her that Carly and Sonny are getting back together. Josslyn says she doesn’t care; he killed Morgan. Michael says Sonny had nothing to do with it, but she says that doesn’t mean he’s innocent; he’s a mobster. Michael says he blamed Sonny too, but it’s easier to be angry than it is to grieve. Good one, Michael. This explains the load of diatribes on Facebook.

Carly says Jax talked Josslyn into coming home, but Josslyn made her agree that she didn’t have to live at Sonny’s. Sonny asks what about her. Carly says as much as she wants to be with him, she’s going to stay with her daughter.

Elizabeth tells Kiki that Franco didn’t kill Tom. Kiki thinks maybe he ran, but Elizabeth tells her about Franco’s car in the parking lot at Gene’s and finding his phone. She thinks something bad happened to him.

Sam says she knew Alexis was in trouble, but didn’t know how to ask, so she ignored it and she’s sorry. Alexis tells her not to be. She has every right to be angry. Alexis tells Sam that she was drunk when she was babysitting Danny. She started going outside of town to drink, but ran into Julian anyway. (Literally!) She says Julian was helping her detox and encouraging her to go to AA, which she did. She’s been sober two days and ironically, has Julian to thank for that.

Jason sees Julian, and tells him that they both know he’s connected with Winston and the boss lady. Julian says it affects all of them, and wants to talk to him.

Michael tells Josslyn it’s hard; the shock and unfairness of losing Morgan is excruciating, but she has to go through it. Morgan wouldn’t want them to be angry and tear the family apart. Josslyn starts to cry.

Carly wants to believe that once Sonny is cleared, the family will have a fresh start. Sonny agrees, but she says what about the day he finds out who’s responsible for Morgan’s death? What happens then?

Curtis brings sweet tea and food back to Jordan from some place they used to frequent. She says all the work they did with Buzz, now the food, it reminds her of old times when they were totally in sync.

Elizabeth tells Kiki that she took the phone to the phone store, but had no luck with drying it out because they were too busy trying to sell her a new phone. Been there. Know that feeling. Kiki asks what about the woman Franco wants to protect, and asks if Elizabeth knows who it might be?

Alexis tells Sam that she went to one meeting and was told she’ll have to start apologizing for what she did. She wants Sam to let her know when she’s ready. Sam says not yet, but she loves and supports her. She says she came over to discuss something Elizabeth said. She thinks Alexis is involved with Tom’s murder and implied that Sam didn’t know Alexis at all. She asks if there’s any truth to that, and Alexis says she may have killed Tom.

Julian tells Jason that Sam showed up at Alexis’s today and discovered him there. Jason is like, I’ll bite, what now? Julian tells him he’s living at Alexis’s house.

Sonny tells Carly he doesn’t know how he’ll feel, but he’s probably going to be furious. At this moment though, he feels that he’s learned a painful lesson about retaliation, and would think twice about it. Carly says it’s not exactly what she wanted to hear, but Sonny says it’s all he’s got. He says on New Year’s Eve they talked about living in the moment, and hopes she didn’t forget that. She says she didn’t. He kisses her. They kiss some more.

Nell tells Josslyn that Michael is right. Bad things happen. It’s scary and random, and sometimes unfair, but horrible things happen to people. Josslyn asks what they’re supposed to do. Nell repeats what Michael told her about being a victim to her anger, and says Josslyn has to move through it to get to the grief. She says Josslyn has a lot of supportive people in her life, including her. She says when she first came to town, Josslyn was happy living with her mom. The Josslyn she sees now isn’t too happy, and maybe it’s something to consider.

Jordan and Curtis joke around about old times. She talks about the stakeouts being tedious, but Curtis says those were some of the best times of his life. He says he could go back to his room and practice mindfulness, or they could continue reminiscing over a game of poker. He pulls out a deck of cards.

Carly wants to check on Josslyn. Sonny doesn’t like saying good-by, and she says she feels the same way, but she has to go. Josslyn comes in with Michael and Nell. Michael says Josslyn has something to tell them. Nell tries to excuse herself, but Michael wants her to stay. Josslyn talks about Morgan teaching her to ride a bike, and how he said it hurts sometimes to be brave, but it hurts more to give up. If she’d given up with the bike, she wouldn’t have learned how to ride and regretted it, so she’s not giving up on Sonny. She hugs him.

Elizabeth says she’s hoping for confirmation soon. Kiki says if this woman killed Tom, what’s to stop her from killing again, but Elizabeth thinks she’s not capable of that. Kiki thinks they should go to the police with the information they have.

Alexis tells Sam about Tom pulling the knife on her, and that she went crazy, but doesn’t remember anything after getting the knife from him. She says the body was found in the alley, so who else could it be? Sam says they would have questioned her if they had any evidence. Alexis says they’re after Franco and he has something on her, and she fully expects the police to come knocking at her door. Sam jets, leaving Alexis to worry about that on her own.

Jason asks Julian what Winston wanted, but Julian says he’s told him what he needs to know. He leaves and Jason sips his coffee. Where’s Valentin today? I miss him. He’s quickly become a favorite of mine.

Sonny thanks Josslyn. She asks if Avery is there, and Sonny tells her that she’s upstairs. Josslyn goes to see her, and Carly thanks Michael. Nell says he’s a great big brother and Michael says she helped. She says she just told the truth that Josslyn has a great stepfather who will always be there for her. Sonny looks grim, and not at all like he just got a compliment.

Curtis tells Jordan that her poker face stinks, and that he called her bluff three times in a row. He says he always know what’s going on behind those curls and beautiful eyelashes. She tells him take it to his girlfriend. He insists on seeing her cards – a pair of twos – and she says she thought she’d take a shot. He says he’s been known to do that too, and kisses her.

Kiki tells Elizabeth that Franco has always been there for her, and she’s going to be there for him and not sit around. She’s going to see what she can do about the phone. They agree on no cops. She tells Elizabeth to stay in touch and leaves. Elizabeth texts Franco again, asking if he talked to his mother.

Julian comes back to Alexis’s place, and asks how it went. Alexis says she told Sam the truth. She says he told her that he’d take care of the Tom situation, and asks how he’s doing that. She asks if he did something to Franco.

Sam sees Elizabeth and says they need to find Franco now.

Jason gets up, but doesn’t look too good. He falls on his face.

Tomorrow, Julian might be behind Franco’s disappearance, Curtis and Jordan get busy, and Tracy tries to revive Jason.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit is having a 49^th birthday party for PK. She wants something simple, intimate and elegant, but with pow. Whatever that is. Boy George will be performing, but she wants to keep it a secret from the guests until it’s time for the show. Dorit and PK discuss logistics.

Back in Greece, Erika is debuting her single at 3 am. Kyle talks about branching out from being a wife and mother with her stores, and how she has the TV show in the works. She tells Erika that it’s bringing up a lot of emotions and memories. She talks about her mother bringing her to the set of Little House on the Prairie at the crack of dawn. Erika gives Tom a call, and tells him how glad she is of his love and support. He does seem like a really cool guy.

Eileen and LisaR go rollerblading. Dorit, who’s never done it before, joins them. In her interview, Dorit says if this is what she has to do in order to hit the reset button, so be it, although she’d rather be having a cocktail somewhere. I’ve never rollerbladed either, so my sympathies are with her. I stink on regular roller skates and I’m even worse on ice skates. Lisa says she likes anyone who’s willing to move on. Afterward, Dorit invites the girls to PK’s birthday. She wonders if she should invite Kim. Lisa says it’s cool with her, but she appreciates the heads up. They call Erika to wish her luck.

Erika gets ready for the show. The stage is built on a cliff which is not exactly conducive to stilettos.

Harrison! Eden visits LisaV. The ponies! They’re having tea outside. Giggy! Eden just got done with a 48-hour relationship, which gives us a lot of insight on her character. The guy quit smoking because she didn’t want to date a smoker. Then – how dare he – ate a cheeseburger and immediately afterward, reached for a mint. She told him that he was going after the mint like an after-dinner cigarette, he accused her of having a type-A personality, and she broke things off. At first, I liked her, but I’m having second thoughts now. This is wrong on so many levels. First of all, she shows no appreciation for the guy quitting smoking for her, and then acts like having a mint is all kinds of wrong. The worst part is that she’s an addict herself, but is apparently unforgiving when it comes to other people’s coping mechanisms. And sometimes a mint is just a mint. Maybe he was concerned that he’d have bad breath after the burger. Geez. I think Eden might be a little picky. Lisa and Eden discuss game night. Lisa says Kim is great, even though she’s had aggressive moments with her. In her interview, Eden says her sister died of an overdose, but it wasn’t clear whether or not it was intentional. She says after her dad passed away, she realized she needed to clean up her act. Eden tells Lisa about being highly functioning when she drank. Lisa asks if she’s talked to Kim, and Eden says she has the behavior of a struggling alcoholic. In her interview, Lisa doesn’t understand why just being sober isn’t enough. While I agree it’s good to be involved with a program, especially early on when you have a whole lot of time that used to be taken up by drinking, I think Eden is being a little pushy. Eden thinks Kyle is an enabler, but Lisa says she’s stepped in many times. In her interview, Eden says Kyle is an enabler because she stays silent about the behavior. She tells Lisa that it was like watching her own family, and she’s concerned that Kyle will be standing where she is now – without a sister.

It looks very crowded at Erika’s venue. Kyle joins in the pre-show prayer, which contains words that Kyle has never heard in a prayer before. Erika is wearing thigh-high sparkly boots, and a silver and black leotard with more sparkles. She climbs a long ladder to the top where the stage is. In her interview, she talks about being concerned she’ll get blown off the mountain. She performs Painkiller, and then debuts Expensive.

LisaR visits Eden. Lisa describes Eden’s son, Tyler, as precocious in a good way. He is pretty cute. Dorit arrives next. She’s glad to get away from her own kids for a little while. Eden has never met PK, and wants suggestions for the perfect gift. She gives the girls some kind of aloe drink and makes smoothies. Dorit wants to know if she can put vodka in it. Lisa says she’s never done that, but has put a Xanax in one. Eden says she has too, and in her interview, Dorit questions a sober person taking pills. Lisa pulls out a bag of pills as big as my purse, most of which are supplements. I think.

After-party in Greece! Erika says the sun is rising, but who cares? They take pictures by the pool. Erika makes Kyle put on her swimsuit and they take some photos together.

Dorit has a problem with the party flowers and calls them tragic. She’s also despising the black curtain partition set up for the show. Boy George tries to calm her down.

LisaV calls Kyle, who just got back from Greece. Portia gets on the phone and asks Lisa about the horses. She wants to come to Lisa’s for a sleepover, and Lisa says now that Portia is out of diapers, she’s up for it. Although she can always borrow some from LisaR. Ha-ha!

Not being able to leave anything alone, Dorit tells Erika that her outfit is a step up from the T-shirt dress she wore last time. Dorit introduces the baby to Erika, and the baby is passed around like a football. Dorit claims there was water damage, and that’s why there’s a curtain up. LisaV thinks PK has something “up his little English sleeve” though. In her interview, Dorit says Lisa is too shrewd to pull something over on.

Kim arrives. She has a bum knee, and Eden helps her down the stairs, but Kim can’t even be bothered to say thanks. I’m not sure if Kim is in avoidance mode with Eden because she’s overbearing or because she’s right. Kim talks about Kyle going to Greece, and how much she missed the kids. She says now that she’s having a grandchild, she’s having the same anxieties she had with her own children. In her interview, Eden is concerned she’s going to end up reaching for a drink. Kim thinks Eden is being weird.

Everyone admires Kyle’s Gucci bag. Me too. She shows everybody the pictures from Greece.

Boy George is wearing an interesting tic-tac-toe themed suit with a matching hat. PK introduces Dorit, so she can introduce George. She gives a speech about how great a husband PK is, and wishes him a happy birthday. The curtain is pulled back, and George is ready to rock. Or whatever it is he does. He sings Karma Chameleon and changes to join the party.

In her interview, Eileen says she’ll have to keep an eye on Dorit since she lied so well. Eden makes her exit. Camille remarks how nice she is, and Kim makes a face. Kim tells Kyle about Eden asking her if her anxiety is an issue. Camille thinks she was just being concerned.

Dorit tells LisaV and George about going to Eden’s house, and how LisaR talked about putting Xanax in a smoothie. George wanders away, and Dorit continues to tell LisaV about the bag of pills LisaR pulled out. She says they were mostly supplements, but who knows? I’m sure we’ll be hearing about this until the end of the season, although it’s more interesting than Pantygate.

Next time, LisaR has a barbecue, Erika reads for The Young and the Restless, and a 1920s party happens.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David tells Veronica to put the gun down. She says, oh, look who’s being nice now. He tries to reason with her, but she’s out of her mind, so nothing works. She tells David to put his hands up. And then down. Veronica says she likes it, and tells him to get on his knees. She says he and Kathryn were having an affair, and makes up some fakakta story that she says she can convince a jury with. David says no one else needs to get hurt. She asks if he wants to hurt her, and he says no. She asks why the divorce then, and he says he was trying to protect her from herself, but I’m not sure where the logic is in that. Not that it matters. Veronica asks if he thinks she’s crazy, since he called her a delusional bitch. He says he shouldn’t have, and apologizes. She says it’s too late though, because he embarrassed her.

Veronica asks David if he believes she’d kill him and he says yes. He brings up the time she set the house on fire. She says she wasn’t trying to kill him, she just wanted him to burn a little. Whoa. David says he’s sorry, and that it’s between the two of them; she should let Kathryn go. David’s phone rings and Veronica wants to see who’s calling. He gives her the phone. It’s a missed call from a hotel. Of course Veronica thinks it’s a woman. She calls the number back. It’s Erica. Too bad. I wanted to see Veronica proven wrong. Erica says she was trying to reach David, and Veronica says she’s David’s wife. Erica tells Veronica that she’s a reporter, and wanted to know if David had a comment on a political poll. Veronica says he’s in the shower and intimates that they’d just had sex. Erica says she’d read she was getting a divorce. Veronica says they’re not, and Erica asks for her opinion. Veronica tells her to call on a business line.

Veronica tells David she doesn’t believe that was a reporter. He gets up, and she tells him to get back on his knees. He says he’s not doing it. Veronica tells him that Kathryn planned all of this, and she had nothing to do with it. He wants her to put the gun down, but she says he won’t listen if she does. He says he believes her. Kathryn says it’s not true, and asks if Veronica is going to shoot her too. Veronica doesn’t want to give up the gun, but David tells her to take the clip out, and she does. She gives him the gun. Kathryn says there’s still one in the chamber and he takes it out.

Jim comes in. He’s like, what the hell? Kathryn tells him Veronica did it, and tried to kill her. He asks who is that on his floor, and I laugh. David tells him it’s Jennifer. Kathryn repeats that Veronica did it. Jim has David give him the gun. Kathryn wants to call the police, but Jim doesn’t want to. She says they have to tell the authorities, and he says he is the authorities, and he’s going to let Veronica leave. Veronica says he’s not letting her do anything, because you can’t please her. He reminds her that the DA is dead, and if the Feds stick their nose into this, they’re going to open up a bigger can of worms. Veronica acts like she has nothing to do with it. Jim says maybe, but her hands have been on plenty of knives throughout the years. David tries to stop her, but Jim says let her go. What a mess.

Hearing my thoughts, Jim says they’ll need a clean up the likes of which they’ve never seen before. He asks if David can make the call. David has it, and goes elsewhere to do it. Kathryn can’t believe that Jim let Veronica leave. He says he has a lot on his mind. I’ll bet.

Poor Benny. He’s still on the porch, thinking Candace is coming. Hanna comes out, and tells him she packed his clothes. She gathers up Quincy Jr. and they get in the car.

Wyatt looks around his townhouse. He tells Jeffrey about the parties he’s going to have. Jeffrey tells him that he doesn’t want to relapse, and Wyatt tells him to chill. Jeffrey says he’s not going to watch him do this, and Wyatt says he’s not going to get high. Jeffrey says he’s tired of caring, and wants to leave, but Wyatt physically stops him. Jeffrey says he’s sick of everything, including Wyatt, and he’s done. Wyatt asks what he has to do to get him to stay, but he won’t do that. Jeffrey starts to walk out, and Wyatt says he’s scared. He says he can’t control himself, and if Jeffrey leaves, he’ll die. Jeffrey is the only one who’s ever loved him, and he resents him for it. He apologizes for treating Jeffrey badly, and begs him to stay, saying that he needs Jeffrey.

Jeffrey says this reminds him of his father, who’s willing to stay with his mother through all kinds of hell. He knows Wyatt loves him, and that’s why he has to go. He can’t help. He says he’ll text Wyatt the name of a group who can. They have people who’ll help him stay strong. He wants Wyatt to show that he wants to get better. Wyatt says he doesn’t need Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he does, even if he doesn’t want to. Wyatt tells him to get out.

Hanna stops by where Candace lives and Pearl calls her over. She says she thinks the police are after the man who went in the house and never came out. Hanna goes over to Candace, who tells her to go home. Hanna asks if she did something, and Candace tells her good-by. Hanna tells Candace that Benny is waiting for her in tears; she could at least call him and tell him she’s not coming. She asks if Candace did something to Quincy, and if he attacked her and she fought back. Hanna says if that’s the case, she needs to say something now. She says she can’t help Candace if she won’t help herself. She tells Candace that Benny will sit there all night and to call him.

Veronica gets back home. She looks pretty tired, and rightly so. Melissa comes downstairs and asks if she’s okay, noticing she’s bleeding. Veronica says she was mugged. She apologizes for missing the party, and asks if Jeffrey is there. Melissa says no, and Veronica says she has to find him, apologizing again. I have to note that Melissa is wearing a fabulous off-white crocheted dress.

Veronica calls Jeffrey. He asks what she wants, accusing her of calling the police, but she says that she didn’t. She tells him that it was Quincy’s sister, because anyone can follow a trail left by two idiots. She instructs Jeffrey to meet her with Candace at a hotel, calling Candace “that thing.” She says they have to meet her in thirty minutes, because he wants to stay out of prison. Or not. It’s his choice.

The forensics officer tells Justin that it’s not blood on the hot tub cover; it’s a marker. Justin is like, oh good. The officer says nobody noticed this? and points to some freshly dug earth. Justin says Candace was having yard work done, like that excuse would have sufficed. The officer calls someone over.

Justin tells Candace to get out of there now. Jeffrey calls Candace and tells her about meeting with Veronica. Candace says no way, but he says what choice do they have? She says not much, since the police just asked for shovels. She says Veronica has something up her sleeve, but agrees to meet. She says she has to talk to Benny first. Jeffrey says they have to trust Veronica, and she’d better be there in time. Candace says she’s on her way.

Mitch gets thrown into a cell next to War. He asks War how long he’s there for, and War says he’ll be out in a second. Mitch says don’t count on it with the drug charge. War wonders how Mitch found out, and tells Mitch that he has powerful connections. Mitch is like, whatever. War realizes Mitch set him up, and Mitch asks how he knows. War says he crossed the line this time, and Mitch says, let’s go to war. War says that’s his name. Not like him to make a funny, although he’s not smiling. War says okay, it’s on. Mitch tells him that he did it all on his own, and Candace didn’t set him up. He adds that War isn’t ever getting out to bother Candace again. War says when he gets out, it won’t matter who did it, and Mitch says he’s not getting out. War says the first thing he’s doing is cutting Candace’s throat. A guard comes in and tells War he’s free to go. Oops. Mitch asks for his phone call, but the guard walks away.

Hanna pulls into Benny’s driveway and tells Quincy Jr. to stay in the car. She asks Benny if Candace knew what time. Benny says she did, and Hanna says she has a place with two beds and a kitchen, not so nice, but clean. She tells him when she found out his father was married, she was devastated; she was sure he was the one. She wanted someone to love and help her, and he seemed smart and kind. He put her up in a nice apartment when he found out she was pregnant. In her eighth month, his wife found out and had her evicted, along with his sister. She had nowhere to go, and her parents wouldn’t let her come home. She kept moving and kept praying. God always found a way for them, and she tells Benny that He will now.

Benny says he’s sick of trying. He takes a step forward and gets dragged back every time. Hanna says some people do anything, get away with it and prosper, but people who have a calling on their lives are different. She says that Benny and his sister have a calling. When he asks what that means, Hanna tells him that God has a greater plan for them. She says Candace isn’t listening, and it’s why everything she touches falls apart. Benny says he just wants to be happy, and Hanna tells him to surrender to God. He says he doesn’t want to hear it right now, but he’s getting to the point that she is with Candace. He says he was doing well, and she did them wrong. Hanna says she’s not doing it on purpose, and he accuses her of defending Candace.

The police pull up and tell Benny that he has to leave. He says he’s waiting for his sister. Hanna tells him to come on, but he’s insistent. The officer says if he doesn’t leave, they’ll remove him. He gets belligerent, and the police drag him off the property. He struggles with them, and Hanna begs them not to hurt him. They throw him into the car, kicking and shouting. Quincy Jr. watches.

The officers uncover Quincy Sr. in Candace’s backyard. Justin slithers away.

Next time, Wyatt gets lost in the wrong neighborhood, Kathryn claims Veronica pushed her to insanity, and Candace and Jeffrey meet with Veronica

🚢 Ladies of London mention. Because it’s late, I’ll just say that there were fabulous sunglasses and a lot of talk about boundaries. And a good soundtrack, as usual.

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie is afraid that Nathan is being pressured, and Lulu tells her that it was all Nathan’s idea.

Nathan tells Dante he’s not nervous, but he’s blown away that everything was pulled together so quickly. The bride and her entourage arrive, but Spinelli blocks them from coming out of the elevator.

Julian tells Sam and Jason that he was the intended target, but had nothing to do with planting the bomb. Jason isn’t interested in Julian’s stories, but Julian says how about the truth? Sam asks him if the picture that Jason found looks familiar, and he asks where they got it. Jason explains about finding it at the pawn shop. Sam asks if it’s Julian and what it was doing there. Julian says everything that’s happened is about the family, and it’s time he told her everything.

Winston tells the boss that the plans are in motion. She pours tea.

There’s something wrong with Leo, and Olivia tells Ned she’ll meet him at GH.

Maxie wants out of the elevator. Spinelli wants to err on the side of caution, and tells Nathan to blindfold himself. Nathan says that they’re not traditional, but Spinelli points out how many times his plans have gone awry. Dante puts a napkin around Nathan’s eyes. Maxie and the bridal party walk through. Maxie says the venue looks spectacular, and Nathan says nothing is too good for her.

Andre and Jordan see one another. He asks what could be more romantic than a surprise wedding. Curtis joins them, saying he needs to speak to Jordan. He’s arranged for her to meet Buzz, but it might have to be tonight.

Winston tells the boss that Julian is refusing to kill his son-in-law, but he might change his mind when his own son pays the price.

Olivia runs into the hospital. She tells Sam that she got a call from Ned, and something happened with Leo.

Mac asks if Maxie is ready for a special delivery, and brings Georgie in. Maxie says she’s lucky to have Mac in her life. He says he’s the lucky one, and happy to be surrounded by all of his girls. Felicia takes a call, and Anna comes in with Emma.

Mac has one piece of advice for Nathan – hurt his little girl and he’ll hurt Nathan worse. He asks to walk Maxie down the aisle, and she says she wouldn’t have it otherwise. Felicia tells them that they have a problem.

Griff arrives and chats with Anna. She starts to tell him something, but Emma interrupts. Valentin comes in with Charlotte. She goes off with Emma.

Ned tells Olivia that Leo’s stomach is being pumped as a precaution. He found Leo alone at the babysitter’s with an open bottle of aspirin. The sitter says she only left the room for a second, and swears that she didn’t put the aspirin bottle there. Julian looks deep in thought.

Curtis tells Jordan that his contact only feels comfortable moving Buzz within a certain window. Jordan explains who Buzz is to Andre. She asks Curtis where the meeting is supposed to take place, but Curtis says he’ll fill her in on the way; the less everyone knows, the better. She agrees, and Curtis says he’ll let her know right away when it’s set up. Andre tells Jordan that letting Curtis keep a material witness from her, and meeting him somewhere in secret, is compromising her ethics and safety. He wants her to choose not to go with Curtis and stay with him. Somehow, I don’t think this has to do with Buzz, and Andre has some serious jealousy issues.

Felicia says Lucy’s flight has been redirected, and she won’t get in until midnight. Maxie is worried that they won’t have someone to marry them. A still blindfolded Nathan says that they have determined pushy people in the room, and they’ll find someone. I guess Griff can’t do it unless they’re Catholic? Maxie wonders if the universe is telling them something.  Mac tells Robin what happened, and that they’ll have to delay the wedding. Robin says that there’s someone in the room who can marry them – Spinelli.

Spinelli was ordained from the Church of Illuminating Wonders so he could marry Sam and Jason. I have to admit, I googled it to see if it was real, but there’s no such church. He’s hesitant because of his past with the bride, but Maxie says she’d love for him to officiate. He says marry her, he shall. Griff asks Anna what she wanted to tell him, but she tells him that they’ll talk after the ceremony.

Valentin suggests Emma and Charlotte sign the registry. Lulu tries to get him to leave, but he says he’s not going anywhere. She says it’s Maxie’s day and she’s not fighting with him, but he’s not welcome there. Nina pops out, saying yes, he is, and tells them to table the conversation since the wedding is starting. Lulu sits, and Nina asks Valentin what’s up. He says that Lulu wants to tell Charlotte that she’s her mother. Nina says it’s too soon, and if Lulu really cared about Charlotte’s welfare, she’d wait.

Anna tells Valentin that she’s closer than he thinks. She says he’ll have to pay the consequences when she finds out the truth. He remarks that not everyone pays for what they’ve done, and I think he’s talking about her.

Julian ponders as Olivia discusses Leo with the others. She wonders how she could trust some stranger to care for her son. Julian says she’s not to blame for what happened. The doctor comes out.

Jordan tells Andre that it could mean the difference between putting the right or wrong person away. Andre says he doesn’t want her to trust the wrong person – Curtis of all people.

The ceremony starts with Emma and Georgie as flower girls. Lulu comes next. She’s the only attendant? I guess so, because here come Maxie and Mac. Needless to say, Maxie’s gown is gorgeous. Off the shoulder, lacy, and a full skirt, but not too long of a train.

For someone who was unprepared, Spinelli certainly does well. He does the objection thing and everyone laughs, but Obrecht runs in, saying the mother of the groom objects most strenuously, making me think she might be a match for Spinelli. I always forget how good Kathleen Gati is in this role, and wish they’d use her more.

Nathan asks what she’s doing, and she says she’s the wounded party. Maxie says she thought Obrecht was on board with them getting married, but Obrecht is appalled that she was notified via text message. Everyone else was too, but she says she’s the groom’s mother and was in surgery all day. Obviously, her attendance means nothing to her son. Nathan says he just got distracted. She says no one even noticed she was missing. Nathan says he’s glad she’s here, and Maxie says she is too, addressing her as h Schwiegermutter, mother-in-law in German. This chokes Obrecht up, and Nathan takes her to a seat of honor in the front.

The doctor says Leo will be fine. They didn’t detect anything in his system, but want to keep him overnight for observation. Olivia and Ned go in to see the non-baby in the crib. (Seriously, this is an empty crib with a bunched up blanket in it, and they’re not fooling anyone.) Julian stands in the doorway. Ned is gracious enough to ask if he wants a moment, and Julian thanks him for saving Leo. He says he’s glad that Ned is there in case anything happens to him, and to take care of Olivia, who’s a wonderful mother, and he leaves.

Julian tells Sam and Jason that Leo will be fine. Sam asks why he’s leaving, and Jason asks what he was going to tell them about the truth. Julian says it isn’t important right now. He says things have changed in the various organizations. Families were off limits, but are now considered fair game. He’s concerned that Danny and Sam might be targeted. He wishes he could tell them more, but has to go. Jason asks if Sam buys it, and she says no.

Ned says Leo is going to be fine, but Olivia is still freaked out. He says nothing is more terrifying than when your child is in danger, not that Leo is his child. Olivia says she can’t do anything about Julian being his biological father, but she’s hoping that Ned will be the father figure in Leo’s life, if he’s up for it. Ned says he thinks he is, and they kiss.

Wedding back in motion. Jordan gets a text and has to go. Andre tries to get her to stay, but that’s a no. Impromptu wedding means impromptu vows, and Spinelli hands the wedding over to Nathan and Maxie. Nathan talks about being mad at the world when he met Maxie – we flash back to that – and she opened his heart again to happiness and love. Even in tough times, she found a way to be positive. Maxie says even though she didn’t know she needed one, a hero showed up at her door. He helped her recognize that she had the strength to save herself. We see a bunch of flashbacks from their early relationship and how it progressed, while they do their vows in a voice over. They kiss, and Anna remembers looking at her broken watch.

In her flash back, Valentin comes up behind Anna and says something in French. She tells him to stop. At the wedding, everyone is applauding. Valentin turns to look at Anna, who looks panicked.

At the reception, Spinelli announces the bride and groom. I never knew that Maxie’s name was Mariah Maximillia. Everyone demands a kiss, and the couple obliges. Robin asks Spinelli if he’s cool, and he says he’s sincerely happy. He wonders where Jason and Sam are.

Jason suggests that Sam back off for a while. He says Dr. Lee told her to take it easy months ago. They kiss in the elevator.

Olivia tells Ned that Julian might have something to say about it, but Ned isn’t so sure. He says Julian was surprisingly understanding, and seemed almost grateful to him. Olivia says that Julian does seem to love his children. Ned says it seemed like something else was on his mind. Olivia wonders what that could be.

Julian goes to the boss’s new location. I have no clue what it is, but it has Asian décor. A restaurant? A tea house? Who knows. We see the boss’s high heels and that she’s dressed in red. She says she can spare a moment or two. It’s Tonya Walker…I mean, Olivia Jerome. My first thought is, oh great, we have two Olivias now, and my next thought is, dammit! I wanted it to be Helena.

Tomorrow, Olivia J. says she’ll get her revenge, Charlotte disappears, and Anna smacks Valentin across the face. He probably likes it.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I grow weary of these women. Except for LVP, who can do no wrong.

My hat’s off to Erika. She’s leaving at 6 a.m. to do her video shoot for Expensive. She tells us that people are usually offended for her videos and she just won an award for that. Anyone who’s offended by her must not have seen many videos. There’s a pillow fight with money flying around everywhere. LisaR, who comes by for a visit with Eileen, says it’s like cotton candy meets Vegas meets Miami. I thought it was more like teenage girl’s bedroom meets money meets sexy lingerie.

When the shoot is done, Erika shows Lisa and Eileen around the studio. Eileen is thinking since she gave Erica a part in her show, maybe Erika should return the favor, and shows us her jazz hands.

Here it comes. Dorit is showing PK her new dress and brings up Pantygate, and how Eileen told her she talks too much. PK suggests she should have called Uber broomstick for Eileen, but agrees that Dorit takes a while to tell a story. Ohhh, the dress is nice. It’s an LBD.

Eileen and LisaR vogue on the set after Erika leaves to change.

Kyle and Mauricio meet with LisaV and Ken at one of Mauricio’s properties. He’s branched off on his own, and is one of the top agents in the business, having sold the Playboy mansion for $200 million. Lisa thinks he’s going to make a sh*tload of money on the property. Kyle claims she was just as happy when they were in a two-bedroom apartment with the kids, but she’s glad she doesn’t have to stress going to the mailbox every day. I totally identify. She adds that Mauricio having his own company means being his own boss, so there are definitely compromises, but she understands that everything is for the family and looks at the big picture.

Kyle, LisaV, and company go to lunch. Portia has come along and makes funny pictures of Lisa with some program on her phone.

LisaR and Eden go shopping. Lisa tells Eden about Kim acting idiotic when she tried to be nice to her on game night. Eden doesn’t think it’s okay how Kim vomited up so much unproductive talk. Lisa says she’s torn, but doesn’t reference that to anything.

Kyle discusses the same thing at lunch, and we flash back to the Amsterdam dinner, which we will never, ever be allowed to forget. Kyle says Kim and LisaR just don’t like each other, and that LisaR was inappropriate in bringing up Kim’s arrest. In her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, yet she’s still talking about it. LisaV uses the f-word in front of Portia, but it’s pretty funny when she realizes.

Eden tells LisaR that she felt no connection with Kyle, but Lisa thinks Kyle was just distracted. In her interview, Eden says there’s something there that she’s going to figure out. Lisa asks what she should do with the Kim stuff. Eden says it would be different if Kim reached out, and that Kim might be sober, but that’s not the issue. Lisa thinks she’s “mostly sober.” Eden wonders what she can do. Lisa thinks that Eden being another sober woman might help Kim get through, and calls Kyle an enabler. Eden says she’s all about tough love. She tells Lisa about her sister calling her up on the New Year’s Eve before she died, and how Eden wouldn’t go out with her. Lisa says Kyle is afraid to turn her back on Kim because she might die. In her interview, Eden explains how the disease impacts the entire family. She thinks if she understands Kyle, she can help Kim. Lisa says all she’s done is try to help, yet she comes out as looking like a mean bitch. Well…

Erika and her creative director are packing for a gay festival she’s performing at in Mykonos, Greece. Kyle is coming along since she’s the only one who can get away. The director says they’ll have eight to ten trunks. That’s a lot of costume changes.

Eden meets Kyle and LisaR for lunch. Kyle lets Eden try on her mother’s wedding ring, which is 10½ karats. Kyle explains that her mom passed away a while ago. Eden asks if the drinking problem in her family was passed down. Kyle asks if it always has to come from someone, and in her interview, thinks Eden should back off. Eden tells her that Kim reminds her of her own sister. She says Kim is sad and her energy is heavy. Kyle says she’s sober, and Eden asks if she’s doing a program. Kyle makes some kind of vague noises and obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. Eden says it’s hard for her to watch someone who could be struggling. In her interview, she says everyone tried to cover up her sister’s illness and shove it under the rug. Lisa says they all experienced the ripple effect of Kim. In her interview, she hopes the conversation is a step toward healing, but realizes it could backfire.

Harrison! LisaV and Ken are going to meet Max and the adoption lawyer who facilitated the process when they got him from foster care, since he’s expressed an interest in finding his birth parents. Lisa thinks it will be emotional for all of them. Giggy! Lisa says they tried to adopt more children in England, but were told they were too old. She was 35. Pandora wasn’t keen on Max looking for his birth parents, which is why she’s not with them. We flash back to her being bummed when Lisa mentions the possibility. Max looks through the folder, and Lisa gets emotional.

Lisa takes a moment, and when she comes back, she talks about giving Max to Pandora when they brought him home, and how he was always “her” baby. She says they always got along, and there was never any competition. Lisa sees that Max’s birth father played the guitar, and talks about how Max picked it up at 14 and just knew how to play. Ken suggests getting a detective to deal with the searching end of it.

Kyle leaves for the trip with Erika. Erika is starting the day by popping some champagne, although I have no idea what time it is in Greece. The director tells her she’ll be performing at 3 a.m. She’ll also be performing for 30,000 people. Kyle arrives, and Erika shows her around. It’s not my style – everything is way too white and sterile looking – but it’s beautiful. Just don’t touch anything. In her interview, Erika says she’s stayed away from women because they tend to be judgmental, but Kyle isn’t like that.

Dorit tells us that she doesn’t like tension and conflict. She calls Eileen, who obviously wasn’t expecting the call. Dorit says it was tense the other night, and asks if she’d like to meet for a girls’ chat. She’s also going to call LisaR. At least Lisa doesn’t wait in stunned silence for ten minutes after hearing Dorit’s voice. Dorit tells her that a few drinks were coupled with misunderstanding, and invites her to the lunch with Eileen. In her interview, Dorit says she has reservations, but she’s prepared for whatever happens.

Kyle has the best sunglasses! Erika practices for the show. In her interview, Kyle says they lead very different lives. She’s still making breakfast for the kids in the morning, while Erika gets lifted by a bunch of naked, hunky guys. She exaggerates; they’re only half naked. The creative director tells them that the lift still needs to be perfected, and directs the guys to toss Erika in the pool.

Dorit meets the girls for lunch. She says it got escalated and heated the other night, and hopes they can resolve it, but if not, they tried. Dorit says it’s no excuse, but she did have a few drinks that night. She says she appreciates their input about Pantygate, but they seem to want to resuscitate it, even when Erika thought it was over. She wants to understand why it keeps being brought up. She says she and Erika are fine with it. Eileen says she understands where Dorit is coming from, and is trying to see it from Dorit’s point of view. She doesn’t remember it happening that way, but if Dorit feels that she was being aggressive, she apologizes.

Dorit brings up the text message from LisaR. In her interview, Lisa claims that she’s always right. Oh, LisaR, how misguided you are, says Dr. Seuss. Eileen suggests hitting the reset button. She says she didn’t mean to put Dorit in the hot seat or make her feel uncomfortable, and would like a fresh start. In her interview, Dorit says she’s not going to forget, but she’s hopeful. She also admits that maybe she talks too much.

Next time, Boy George performs, Erika performs, and Eden wants to talk to Kim.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David tells Veronica to get off of him. She says Kathryn is trying to kill her. Kathryn turns the tables, and says it’s the other way around. Veronica screeches that David has to believe her, but he backs away a little. Kathryn says she’s lying and that she did this, pointing out her injury. She says Veronica shot Jennifer and then tried to kill her. Kathryn wants David to call the police, but he says he’s not doing anything until he understands what went on. Kathryn says if he doesn’t call, she will. Veronica says he knows her. He says yes, he does, and backs away some more. Veronica moves forward, and David falls backward onto the couch. He sees Jennifer’s body.

David is like, wth? and Veronica says that Kathryn killed Jennifer. Kathryn tells him again that Veronica killed her. Veronica tells David to quit taking her pulse, and that it’s a crime scene, so he shouldn’t be in the middle of it. Kathryn tells him that Veronica knew Jennifer was after him, and shot her. He says it’s like Maggie Day. Veronica says that was a casualty of war. Kathryn asks what happened and if David liked her too. She tells David that he has to protect her, and to call the police now. Veronica says she didn’t do this.

Jim calls David, saying he’s out of jail and Lloyd is picking him up. David says he found Kathryn, but to tell Lloyd to drop him in front of the house and not to come inside. He says it’s too sensitive to discuss over the phone. Jim asks if Kathryn is okay, and David says somewhat. Jim is like wtf? and David tells him that Veronica and Kathryn are pointing fingers at one another, and to get there asap.

David hangs up, and Kathryn says he needs to call the police. David says they’re going to wait for Jim. Veronica wants to leave, but David tells her no. He says no one is going anywhere until Jim gets there. Kathryn asks if he’s going to let her bleed to death, and he points out that even he can tell it’s a flesh wound. He repeats that everything is going to wait until Jim gets there.

Erica calls Candace, but she says she’s in the middle of something. Erica wants to give her a David update, but Candace says they’ll talk later. Erica tells her that War is getting out of jail soon, and advises her not to stay at her house. Candace says the police are there and have a search warrant. She asks how Erica knew about War. Erica says one of her targets knows the DA, and the DA told him just now. We know this is a lie, because Jennifer has been lying dead in the Cryer mansion for a while. Like since last season. Candace asks when he’s getting out, but Erica doesn’t know. Candace tells her that the bank caught the forgery, and if she doesn’t have the money by 5 o’clock, the bank is going to foreclose. She wants the name of whoever prepared the documents. Erica offers her money, but doesn’t have enough. Erica warns her that War thinks Candace set him up, but Candace says Mitch is the one who did it. Erica says it’s crazy, and that maybe she could get the money from David. Candace says she has to work him slowly or he’ll run. He can’t think she’s taking advantage of him. She explains how to present the story.

Candace gets into her car and Oscar gets in the passenger seat. She says she’s in this mess because of him and get out. He tells her he has a mark who can make them a lot of money, and to call him. She tells him she’s going to scream and he gets out. He tells her they’re running out of time and leaves. She tells herself that she does need the money.

The cops drill open Candace’s safe. Why didn’t they just ask her for the combination? She has about 20k in cash and a lot of photos of Jim in compromising positions. The officers bag the evidence.

Mitch goes to Benny’s house. Benny apologizes, and asks what happened to the truck. Mitch says it’s the only thing that was his, and now it’s all bent up. He thinks what’s happening isn’t right, and Benny agrees. Mitch says it is what it is, and they had something for a minute. Benny adds that they tried. Mitch asks if Benny is all right, and Benny insists he is. He asks why Benny is sitting outside, and Benny says Candace is supposed to bring him some money. Mitch suggests they get Benny’s truck out of the tow yard, but Benny says the bank is taking everything, even what he had before he got the tow yard. The bank told him if he tries to take his own truck, he’ll be arrested. Candace put everything in the mortgage. Mitch says screw everything, and they should just go get the truck. Benny says how, and Mitch tells him how he got his own truck out. Benny says the cops are probably all over the place, and Mitch apologizes for losing it. Benny says he’s getting there too.

Mitch says Candace needed the money for War, but he took care of it. They talk about how neither one of them is “about that life.” Mitch says he can’t do what he’s thinking. He says Benny doesn’t want the money; they’ll come after him and his folks. Benny says, so he just loses everything. Mitch says they’ve been there before, but Benny says he’s getting old. He had it, and she stole it. Mitch says it was War, and asks if Benny has called Candace, but Benny says he wants her to come on her own, and he doesn’t want to hear her excuses.

A police car pulls up. Benny says he can’t bail Mitch out. Two officers approach and ask for Mitch. They tell him he’s under arrest and cuff him. One officer goes for the truck and the other reads him his rights. How come Mitch doesn’t just call his family? I know he wants to find his own way and all, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’s called them in a pinch.

Jeffrey calls Candace. She asks if he spoke to Justin and he says no. She tells him what will happen to him if he goes to prison, and he tells her not to threaten him. She says she isn’t; she’s just informing him. She tells him to call Justin on a three-way call, because she wants to talk to him. Justin answers, and says Jeffrey had better tell “that bitch” that nothing happened between them. There’s silence, and Candace asks if Jeffrey heard Justin. Justin asks who it is, and she says the bitch who he didn’t want knowing anything. Justin gets agitated, and Jeffrey tells him not to pay attention to Candace, and tells Candace to apologize. She does, and Jeffrey says they need his help. Justin says he’ll do it for Jeffrey. When Justin hangs up, Candace tells Jeffrey that they have him. Jeffrey asks what she said to Justin, and she says, what she had to. Jeffrey says she’s not helping and they’re doing it his way.

Wyatt comes out of his hospital room fully dressed. Jeffrey tells him that the doctor hasn’t discharged him, and he isn’t leaving. Wyatt says he hears that, and walks out.

Justin putters around the kitchen, pretending to look for evidence. He takes something out of a drawer that looks like an EpiPen. It is a pen. A fat, red, felt tip. He makes some marks on the hot tub cover and says he thinks they have something, and that a forensics team should look at the hot tub. He has the other officers help him move the cover. I have no idea what’s in his head.

Candace gets to her house and Jeffrey comes out. Candace apologizes for what she said, and he asks what she wants. She says she needs his help, and he says that’s what he was trying to do. He tells her that he’s bought her time, but eventually, they’ll check the backyard. He tells her to get out of there, and tell Jeffrey to go somewhere he can’t be found. She says he likes Jeffrey, and Justin says not like that; he’s a friend. She tells him there’s money she needs, but he says they already went through the safe, and the money has been packed as evidence. He tells her the compromising photos of Jim are gone too. She asks if he can get them, but he says no, and that she should really go. She asks if he’ll call. He says he’s already in too deep and doesn’t know why. She says because of Jeffrey, and it’s okay if he likes him. Justin says he has to go.

Benny is still sitting outside. Hanna tells him he needs to pack, but he insists that Candace is coming. Hanna brings out a chair and sits next to him. He says he can wait by himself. She asks why he doesn’t wait inside, and he says that every five minutes she’ll be telling him to pack. She says it’s a nice house and she’s glad Candace gave it to him along with the tow yard. It shows she can still care about someone and there’s hope for her yet. Benny says that’s not exactly positive. Hanna says he’s mad because she’s right. He suggests she go in, and Hanna says she’s taking Quincy Jr. to the hotel. She says even if Candace comes, they still have to leave. She tells Benny she’ll be at the Fountain Drop Hotel. Benny insists Candance will bring money for something better. Hanna doesn’t want Quincy Jr. to see the sheriff put them out. She tells Benny she loves him and loves the way he loves his sister, but she’s not coming. She goes inside, taking the chair with her. Benny stares into the distance.

David tends to Kathryn’s wound. Veronica says David used to be like that with her, tender and caring. Kathryn says she doesn’t know how he could have loved her. David tells her don’t, and Veronica says he takes Kathryn’s side even after Kathryn tried to kill her. David tells her to shut up. Kathryn says that Veronica pushed him to another woman. Veronica says she wishes she could get out, but David is waiting for the boss man to tell him what to do, and starts talking like a plantation slave. Kathryn says she sees why David filed for divorce. Veronica tells her to stay out of it. She says she’s not the kind of enemy Kathryn wants to make. Kathryn says that’s a change of pace, since just before, Veronica was trying to kill her. Veronica says if she was trying to kill her, then she’s the same person. Kathryn says she can’t bait her, but Veronica says she’ll continue to do it in court, and not to take her down this path. She suddenly decides that the three of them – Kathryn, Jim and David – planned this, and David tells her that not everything is a conspiracy. Kathryn says she sees what David means, referring to Veronica being psychotic. David says she’s witnessing it firsthand, but don’t. Veronica starts in about how David can’t make a move without Jim, and does the slave thing again. She says she’s sick of it. David says there’s a dead body here, and she says she doesn’t give a damn. Kathryn says that’s because she did it, and tells David that they have to call an ambulance.

Kathryn realizes that the gun is next to Veronica. David sees it too, and makes a move for it, but Veronica gets it first.

Next time, Wyatt wants Jeffrey to stay, War threatens to cut Candace’s throat, and Hanna approaches Candace about Quincy.

✈  Ladies of London acknowledgement. They’re still in Scotland, with the men joining them for a final night. This leaves me feeling badly for Joan Collins Sophie, since she’s going through a nasty divorce. The highlights were a whiskey tasting where the ladies thought the whiskeys (which were no doubt very aged and expensive) tasted like everything from “cat butt” to “bad breath,” along with a huge production over the serving of haggis. This is another thing that didn’t go over big with any of the women, although a few were good sports. The way I feel is, if you’re there and it’s traditional, shut up and just try it. I was the only one, along with the chaperone, who ate whatever was put in front of me on a trip to Russia when I was in high school.

I was surprised when Julie said she didn’t eat meat. I knew Juliet was a vegetarian, and I get their names mixed up already, so this doesn’t help. Julie made a toast that Marissa read way too much into in her interview. My take was that Julie was saying that when she came to town, she was a wimp, but seeing how strong Caroline #1 is, made her grow in her own strength. Marissa wondered what the underlying meaning was, and if it was some kind of threat. She hasn’t exactly been at the top of her game though, and kept repeating that she’s tired and can’t do it – whatever it is – until Caroline #1 finally paid attention to her. They also played a bizarre balloon game, which Caroline #2 assured us would be hysterical. I wouldn’t go that far, but it was pretty funny to see a bunch of adult women (and one man – ?), wearing formal dress, trying to break a balloon by pushing it with their body against their team mate’s behind. Several of the ladies ended up on the floor laughing. Maybe the whiskey wasn’t so bad after all.

Next time, Jacqueline Onassis Sophie rocks some amazing sunglasses!

I like this show a lot, and have to admit, I’m going to miss Caroline #1 when she goes to Dubai. I’m so hoping for a spin-off show.

🍸 Quickie note about Vanderpump Rules, since I watch all of these shows like ten times. Not watch watch, but you know, it’s on in the background. After Lala’s barely there apology for skipping out on Ariana’s birthday, there was that interview where Tom claimed he was good as far as Lala was concerned – maybe forever – meaning he was not good, and she could disappear off the planet, and Ariana was drying glasses like she might kill someone. But then later, she doesn’t seem to care so much. I’m wondering if the two of them are sort of like prosecuting attorneys. They know they’re wrong, but they just can’t admit it.