What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Michael plays pool by himself. Lulu and Dante walk in, and Michael tells them about Jax being released. He says Nelle did something good for Jax, but it doesn’t absolve her. Lulu says as bad as it was, it takes two, and Michael asks if Nelle didn’t tell them. Lulu says she can tell them herself right now, since she just walked in.

Valentin is looking for his watch. It’s in Nina’s hand. Listening in, Anna tells her to mind her own business, raising my blood pressure by 100 points, since she should be minding her own business and Nina is married to Valentin, so it is her business.

Tracy tells Ned that the only option is for Samira to leave. Or wait for immigration to come with a warrant. Samira says she’s not leaving without the painting. It’s the only way to save her daughter.

Finn runs into Hayden. He asks if they can make it not awkward. Griff comes along, and says Finn’s test came back positive. Because Brad had his grubby little hands on it. He doesn’t say that last part, but we know it.

Nina wonders why Valentin needed another watch. He says he used to do questionable things for money, and now he has money to buy questionable things. He says he indulged himself, but he’d rather indulge her. He’s bought her a horse. They go to the stables, and the watch gets left on the table. Poor Anna. She can’t listen in. I’m just devastated.

Griff tells Finn it’s not specific, but it’s some form of opiate. Finn says that’s impossible, but Griff says they ran it twice. Finn wonders if there’s still a trace of Zen-Zen in his system. He says the test needs to be repeated, but he thinks it’s a mistake. Griff says next time it had better show a decrease, and under no circumstances is he to treat patients. When Griff leaves, Hayden asks if Finn has been using.

Tracy says she’s just trying to help. Samira says she can’t leave without the painting. Laura says it’s more than a reminder of Tracy’s father, and has the power to save a life. What if she was in Samira’s shoes? She didn’t even know it existed a few months ago, and the real connection is the letter. Tracy wonders how she’d get it out of the country – it’s bound to bring attention to the expired visa. Samira says Tracy isn’t going to change her mind, and leaves the room. Ned thinks it requires further investigation. Laura wonders if Samira turns out to be Tracy’s sister, if she’ll change her mind, or does she want her out of sight before that happens?

Finn tells Hayden that he knows he’s an addict. If he uses again, he’ll lose everything. He wants to get out of the hole he’s dug for himself, and get everyone’s respect back. Hayden asks why he’s sweating, and he tells her that he did a workout on his lunch break. He says a way to cope with addiction is to distract oneself, and she can talk to Felix, who was there with him. She asks why the test came back positive, but Finn doesn’t know. Hayden asks him to promise he’s playing by the rules, and he says not exactly.

Michael approaches Nelle, and asks her to talk to Dante. At the table, Lulu says Nelle is crazy about Michael. She says unfortunately, she likes Nelle, and thinks Michael was into her before the thing happened with Sonny. Dante says they’re not in the loop, and don’t know what happened. Lulu suggests he take his detective hat off and they enjoy the evening.

Nina loves her horse; she’d always wanted one of her own. She says that Lumière is the perfect name. Valentin tells her that its a horse of a different rare color. Nina says that Lumière defies light and glows, and Valentin says that she does too. They start to kiss, and pervert Anna has no shame. Her doorbell rings. It’s Griff.

Griff asks why Anna hasn’t returned his calls or texts. She didn’t show up for a phlebotomy, and she has no idea how dangerous that is. He wants her to go right now, but she tells him to wait. She says she’s fine, and Griff says she’s not super human. He explains how it can cause a blood clot. He threatens to call Robin. She says she doesn’t want them to intervene; she’s already had her treatment. She decided to go to a private facility. GH is too public, with everyone being so concerned. It’s lovely in theory, but she doesn’t want the fuss. He says left to her own devices, she could skip a treatment. She asks him to respect her wishes and privacy. He tells her that blood cancer is nothing to be remiss about, and he’s also worried about her and Valentin. She says that Valentin’s accusations were right; she was very cruel to him. Griff says it doesn’t sound like her, and she says they all have their pasts. He asks what’s next between them.

Nina says she wants to go riding, but Valentin wants to change her mind.

Lulu and Dante sit at a table. Lulu says that they’re celebrating how well her first visit with Charlotte went, and asks Dante to put police business aside. Nelle tells Michael he could have her arrested. Lulu interrupts, and asks how Nelle’s new job is going. Nelle says that Charlotte loved the Easter egg hunt and seeing the bunny. Lulu is glad they had a chance to bond.

Dante talks to the bartender. He tells him about the pills, and wonders how they got there. He asks if the bartender had seen them, but he says no.

Finn tells Hayden that it has nothing to do with drugs. He had a friend come to him with a problem, and he offered to help. She asks what Tracy wanted. He says he could get in trouble, but it was important to the one friend he has. At least if he gets in trouble, it won’t be for drugs.

Laura says she knows who Tracy is deep down, and she’s better than this. Tracy says it hasn’t been proven yet, but Laura tells her to just do the right thing. Ned comes in with Samira, and says he’s making phone calls to see if there’s something else he can do. He asks Tracy to take her somewhere safe that’s close by, but Samira collapses.

Lulu tells Dante about Charlotte loving their visit. He says good, now she doesn’t have to pull any tricks with Valentin. She admits she was considering having Nelle spy on her, or involve Michael.

Michael tells Nelle that it sucks being the prize in a custody war. Nelle asks how he knows, and he tells her about several over him. He says he spent a lot of time being shuttled back and forth, knowing the people he loved were angry because of him. Nelle wonders if he could explain it to Charlotte. Or maybe not. She says if he wants to talk to Dante, do it now, because she doesn’t like the threat hanging over her.

Hayden brings up Finn saying she was a gold-digger, but he doesn’t remember saying it. He says she changed, showing compassion and love when he needed it, and he’s going to change too. He knows he has a long way to go, but he’s working on it. He talks about when they first met, and tells her that she’s succeeded. He will too, but it won’t be easy. Maybe she can see he’s on the right path to being the man she can trust.

Tracy comes into the hospital with Samira. Finn directs them to an examining room. He says he can’t help her, but Tracy says it’s an emergency. Finn asks a nurse to get her vitals. Tracy asks if he’ll treat Samira.

Anna tells Griff that she and Valentin made a truce. Griff says that Valentin doesn’t seem like the forgiving type. He doesn’t trust Valentin, and doesn’t think she should. Finn calls, and tells Griff that it’s an emergency. He says she has an expired visa and immigration is after her, and maybe Griff can help. Griff tells Anna he has to go, but they’ll have dinner another time. As soon as he’s gone, she schedules the phlebotomy that she didn’t really get.

Valentin tells Nina he loves her and she transformed his life. She’s made him happier than he deserves to be. He was a bad man who did bad things. He never really changed until Charlotte came along. Nina says that she hasn’t been a nice person either. He says her choices were made out of pain. He just wants her and Charlotte to be happy. He’s sorry about the whole business with Anna, and apologizes. Nina says she loves the horse, but all he has to do is be honest with her.

Anna listens in. Nina says she has to give Valentin honesty in return. She says the Anna thing bothered her. He says that Anna’s past is as dingy as his own, and she offered a truce. Nina says the truth is, if you suspect cheating and it turns out to be true, it’s hard to trust again. She wonders if it’s something that will be with her forever, and says Jealousy makes people do crazy things. She doesn’t want to go backwards and give into herself because of Anna He says Anna isn’t a threat to them, and ominous Anna says they’ll see about that. Valentin suggests they go to the bedroom. Nina wants to ride first, and suggests they have dinner in bed. He says he has to run an errand, but will be back by dinner.

Anna calls Valentin when Nina leaves. He asks what she wants. She asks if it’s a bad time, and he says actually he needs to see her. She says she needs to see him too, and he says he’s on his way.

Michael tells Nelle it was up to his dad to talk to Dante, so she’s off the hook. He says he knows she wasn’t completely at fault, but he feels worst for Avery and Josslyn. She says she never meant to hurt them, and he tells her that revenge is like an explosion; you don’t know where it will hit. She says he’s never going to forgive her, and he says he doesn’t know. Her takeout food comes, and he says maybe someday he can forgive her. She leaves.

Lulu tells Dante that she was going to give Michael a nudge, but now she doesn’t have to. Dante says he can’t believe she’d use his brother for her personal gain, and she says it was her mom’s idea.

Griff gets to the hospital, and Finn tells Laura she’s in good hands. He tells Tracy that Samira could just be dehydrated and stressed. She asks about the DNA test, and he says it could be tonight or a few days. Ned pops out of nowhere, and asks Tracy what that was about.

Hayden tells Finn that she’s impressed he didn’t break his agreement. He says he’s trying. She says she sees that, and sees who he is when not under the influence. She’s going to give them time. He says that’s all he asks. She says it’s a deal.

Tracy tells Ned she’s just worried about Samira. He wonders why she cares so much so soon; it’s not like her. He says Edward is where she’s most vulnerable. He thinks the painting is key. Laura asks Tracy if she’s okay. She says not until she gets the test back, and that might not be for days.

Lulu tells Dante that Nelle screwed up, but might do better if someone believes in her.

Nina looks for Valentin, but he’s not there. She thinks back to when she found Anna in the living room with him. She says, please don’t be with Anna. Nelle tells her that Charlotte isn’t in her room, and Nina apologizes, telling Nelle that Charlotte is at a sleepover. Nelle says she has a book she wants to finish, a spy thriller, her favorite genre. Nina asks for a favor. She wants Nelle to put her love for spy thrillers to good use. She’d like Nelle to spy on someone.

Anna’s doorbell rings. Guess who? She invites Valentin in, and thanks him for coming. He says he’s just come to return the watch. I think she’s trying to smile romantically at him, but only succeeds in looking insane IMO. He says whatever was between them is over. She takes his hand and gives him another creepy smile.

Tomorrow, Nelle asks who Nina wants her to spy on, Sonny talks to Bobbie, and Carly says she won’t do anything that Sonny doesn’t deserve. Well, that sure leaves it open.

If Loving You is Wrong

I hope Officer Rick is going to be a thing. I’m starting to like him.

Alex is walking the kids home from school and they see Randal. He wants to talk to her, but she says she has to get the kids to bed. They remind her 3 pm is too early for bed. Well, that depends. She sends them inside, and Alex tells Randal to never bring them into it again. He tells her that jail might be safer for her now, after Natalie finds out she’s sleeping with Lushion. She tells him he’s mental. Randal asks if it’s Lushion’s baby, and she says wouldn’t he like to know? He says three men is a lot even for a pro ho like her. Although I would think that if you were a pro, that wouldn’t be very many. She tells him it’s four, and she’s not sure who the baby’s father is. He asks if she’s sleeping with Lushion, and she says yes. Why, Alex, why? Why get Lushion in trouble when he’s one of the few decent guys on this show? (Just in case you’re a new viewer, she’s lying. Lushion would never do such a thing.)

Randal calls Alex a slut, and she thanks him. He asks where they did it and she says mostly in the police car. She tells him to go ahead and tell Natalie. He wonders who she is, and she says she asks herself the same question every time she sees him. He regrets having met her, and she says finally, something they can agree on. He says he’ll make sure every day of her life is a living hell, which actually might be an improvement. She tells him to run along and start preparing. He suggests she sent her parents there to kill him. She’s like, sorry, sorry that they didn’t succeed. He says he sees a little, abused girl trying to be a woman. She tells him he must know that some of those women have sexual issues and she’s one of them. She wants it wherever and whenever she can get it. He tells her to shut up, and she says he’s the one who wanted to analyze her. She says he’s not as good as he thought. He says she loved every minute, and she says she kind of misses it. He tells her to hold on to the memory and she laughs. She teases him, talking about how she remembers when she’s alone at night. That’s when she calls Lushion and he makes her forget all about Randal. He says she’s lying. She asks if he got a good look at the baby, and that he looks just like Lushion. Randal says if the test comes back and the baby isn’t his, she’ll see what happens.

She asks if he wants her. She says she’s wearing the perfume he likes. She asks him to tell her. He says he doesn’t want her and hates her. She says that’s good because she hates him too. She suggests they meet in the shed. Randal says she’s up to something. She says not as much as him.

Eddie nearly runs them over. He jumps out of his truck, and starts screaming at the both of them. Alex’s kids come out, and she says everything is fine and to go back in. She tells them that Eddie lost control of his truck. Paisley says he was probably texting and driving. Surprisingly, Eddie holds it together, and tells them to get inside. He says Alex isn’t going anywhere until they talk. He asks what she’s doing, and says that the blonde dye has soaked into her head. He says he’s telling Brad, and she says go ahead. He wants to talk about the murder she committed. She’s like, huh? She says she didn’t kill anyone; she went to her parents to tell them to lay off of Randal. She had nothing to do with it, and she isn’t an accessory. He wonders who’s been training her on how to speak. He asks if Lushion has been talking to her about Andrew. She says she has nothing to do with that, and Eddie says she ran him over. We both go, what? Eddie claims he’s trying to help her, and she wonders when that’s ever happened. Eddie says Andrew has been missing since she ran him over. Alex asks what he wants. He says nothing, but if she keeps telling tall tales, it’s going to be a bad day, like it’s not already. He tells her Andrew is dead, and she says she didn’t do it. She asks why they haven’t found him, and Eddie says anything could have drug him into the swamp. He tells her to keep telling herself lies, but they both know the truth.

Kelly gets a call from her ex, Tyrell (I finally caught his name). He asks what’s wrong, and she says nothing, but he’s not buying it. She asks how he is, and he says he knows something is wrong for sure now. Kelly says it’s his mother. She came by asking for a key, but she wants to talk to Justice first. Tyrell understands, but Kelly says his mother didn’t. He says he’ll talk to her, but Kelly thinks it will just make her angrier. He says she just loves her baby boy, and Kelly says she loves hers too. He asks if she loves him too. She says Justice just got off the bus (a mother’s equivalent of saying there’s something on the stove), and asks if he can call her back. He tells her he loves her, and to give his love to Justice. He doesn’t seem awful. What’s up with that mother? Kelly calls Justice’s phone.

Lushion calls Natalie, asking where she is. She tells him she’s at work, but she’s on the way. She tells him that Mr. Kim came by the hospital and said he was sorry. He also offered Joey a job. He was glad Joey was there to protect Faun. She asks what’s wrong, and Lushion tells her to hurry up and get there. He says there’s a problem they need to solve, and he’ll tell her when she gets there.

Marcie comes to Brad’s office. She wonders if he’s been ignoring her calls, but he says he’s been swamped. She was thinking about what he said about Alex, and she’s going to stop. She has one condition – Alex needs to stop taunting her. She’s vague about how Alex is doing that, but says if Alex leaves her alone, she’ll leave Alex alone. He says he’ll mention it, and Marcie asks if he’s talking to Alex. He says no, but when Marcie says he’s thinking about it, he says maybe. She asks what that means for them, and he says they already talked about it. She says she’s not ready to give him up, and he tells her that she’s all over the place. She says she needs him. He says he’ll send her the rent. She says it’s not that. She has big decisions to make, and needs someone she trusts to help her through it.

Marcie sits on Brad’s lap. She tells him she cares about him, appreciates him, and really loves him. He says he loves her too, and they kiss. What is up with this? She wants him to know she’ll always love him whether they end up together or not, and he says he feels the same way. He wants her to get up, but she doesn’t want to, so he tickles her. He says her stomach is different. She says thanks, she just ate lunch. He wonders if she’s pregnant by him, but she says they both know that’s not possible. He says that would certainly get the town talking, and she says it would be the ultimate pay-back. She asks if he wants a child with her, but he says not in this situation. She asks if it would be that bad, and Brad says she’s scaring him. He says he’s going to be late. Marcie asks if he’s going to see Alex, and he says maybe. Marcie leaves, and Brad is like, whew!

Randal’s doorbell rings. It’s a woman who’s come to do the DNA test. She makes small talk about his house while she sets up the test. She tells him he has a lot of muscles, and he says she’s hot as hell. She says she used to compete. Seriously, would someone who does in-home DNA tests have this kind of conversation? She says they’re going to do both a swab and blood test. He asks what she’s doing later, and she tells him she’s having dinner with her wife and their kids. He asks if she’s a lesbian, and she says she doesn’t like labels. I roll my eyes at the both of them. She says even if she was into guys, she wouldn’t be into one who denies his kid. He says that’s not it; he wants custody. She says good for him; he’s one of the good guys. If she only knew. He wonders why she’s not testing anyone else. He tells her that Lushion was one of his ex’s partners, and he just lives down the block. She says she’ll get on it. She leaves while Randal flexes his muscles. He says she thinks she’s gay, but not when he’s done with her. Randal has reached a new low.

Esperanza and Rick are trying to track down Justice. They have the judge issuing warrants, but Rick says if the phone battery has been taken out, they can’t trace it. He asks if Kelly might have set this up. Esperanza says she wouldn’t do that, but Rick says that Travis tells a different story and has proof. He says that Travis has a text message, and Esperanza tells him that he’s acting like a rookie; she can vouch for Kelly. Rick asks why Kelly didn’t file a restraining order, and Esperanza says she did. He says only Travis has one on file, and there’s back up.  Esperanza tells him to just do his job. She calls Kelly, and tells her to relax and let the police handle things. Kelly is borderline hysterical, and Esperanza asks why she didn’t file the restraining order. Kelly thinks Esperanza is accusing her of being responsible for the kidnapping, and says that the lawyer didn’t call her back. Esperanza asks for the lawyer’s information. She tells Kelly to hold on.

Esperanza calls the lawyer, but he’s not in. She finds out that he’s at church. She asks what one, and thanks them. She tells Kelly that the lawyer isn’t returning her calls because he’s a member of Travis’s church. She gives the phone to Rick. He asks if Kelly heard anything in the background, but she didn’t. He says there’s an APB out, and asks if Travis would hurt Justice or where he might take him. Kelly doesn’t know. Esperanza says they’re sending someone to the church. Kelly says she can’t just sit there. Rick gets a check on Justice’s phone and jets. Kelly tells Esperanza that she’s coming to the station.

Everyone arrives at Kelly’s house at the same time – Kelly, Esperanza, and the police. Esperanza holds Kelly back while the police go in with guns drawn, but they come back out. They’re all coughing and waving their hands.

Next time, Brad threatens to kick Randal’s ass, Randal talks to Natalie, and Eddie says the party is just gettin’ started.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion, Part Three

We go back to the bunny. Kim never gave it to her grandson, and because it wasn’t given to her with the “right energy,” she gives it back to LisaR, who ends up leaving the stage. Kyle thinks Kim should explain how superstitious she is to Lisa, and Kim takes the roving bunny with her backstage.

She runs into LisaR, who’s coming back out. Lisa says it’s the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to her, and Kim is a sick woman. I agree that it’s pretty bad, and I don’t even like Lisa. Eileen comes back on stage and says it doesn’t look good. Kyle says nobody wants the bunny, but Andy does, for the clubhouse. He’s the worst.

LisaR strides back to the reunion circle, and says it was cruel and mean. Kim tries to justify her actions, and Lisa has an f-off sound effect thing, and keeps pushing the button on it. Kim says she was going to do it before, but she figured they’d both be at the reunion. So yeah, why not do it on national TV instead of in private? Lisa says she’s a sick woman, and Kim says she feels the same way about Lisa. Lisa says Kim wants to be on the show, and she’s her meal ticket, which is where she goes totally wrong. Even I think that’s stupid. Not that it excuses Kim’s behavior. Lisa accuses Kyle of condoning every rotten thing that Kim has done, and Kyle says it’s not like she has control over her, and she’s not apologizing for anything her sister does.

Dorit tells LisaR that she has a big mouth, and Lisa tells her to shut up, causing a moment of silence. Dorit tells Lisa that she goes for the jugular, and like usual when she can’t form real words, Lisa says that Dorit does too. Lisa says she speaks her truth, and Kyle says that doesn’t make it okay. She put Kyle in the worst position, when they’d never even had a fight. Lisa says she’s apologized. Lisa says Kyle says mean things about her lips, and I can’t believe that’s’ the best she can come up with. Andy moves on.

A viewer suggests the only reason Eden went after Kyle and Kim, is that she wanted to create a storyline for herself. Eden says she wasn’t the one who said those things, but agreed with it because of her own past. It was something she recognized and projected onto them.

Omg I can’t believe it. We go back to when the earth cooled, in the limousine, where Kyle talked about how Mauricio supported Kim like a second wife, because a viewer has asked if that wasn’t enabling. Kyle says that she believes enabling is turning a blind eye to the situation, and that’s never been the case with her. She has a wing of hair sticking out, and it’s all I can look at.

A viewer asks if LisaV thinks LisaR was acting when she said she didn’t remember saying anything about Kim and Kyle. Because LisaV knows all. LisaV says if she’d said something like that, she’d remember. Dorit says LisaR crucified her for not remembering a five-minute conversation. LisaR tells her to shut up again, and then says sorry. Another viewer asks Kyle if she thought LisaR really forgot. Lisa keeps repeating that she really didn’t remember. Eileen says that what Lisa said was wrong, but game night got weird because of Kim. We flash back, but I don’t see it that way. Eileen babbles, and tells Kim not to be rude, because she has something to say. She says Kim inserted herself in a conversation where she didn’t belong, and she has no idea what she’s talking about. I’m not sure Eileen knows what she’s talking about. I also hate how she hammers questions at someone, then talks over them when they try to answer. Eileen tells Kim that just because she’s obnoxious, doesn’t mean she’s right. She says that Kim attacked her and LisaR. LisaV says that what LisaR said was incredibly damaging, and LisaR says she apologized. She hasn’t said anything about Kim since, and thought they’d made amends. We flash back, and it looks that way to me. LisaR says it she sees that it’s not going to work, but that’s okay. She’s moved on.

And we’re moving on to the bag o’ pills. We flash back to LisaR saying she put Xanax in smoothies, pulling out her plastic bag, and Dorit repeating the story. Then telephone gets played with Eden, and we come full circle to the confrontations on the boat and the Hong Kong dinner. LisaR always comes off as crazy as a loon to me. Kyle acts like Eden started it. I get distracted by Dorit’s dress, because it has tiny chains hanging all over it. I love it so much. Dorit explains why she asked Eden about LisaR, and says she didn’t say that Lisa had a Xanax problem; LisaR created the story. LisaR says Dorit “makes her head crazy.” I have the feeling that doesn’t take much.

LisaR insists that Dorit kept talking about it. Lisa pulls out the bag of pills, and Andy asks what’s in there. It’s nothing exciting. Lisa says she takes Benadryl is for acid reflux, and I’ve never heard of such a thing. She tells Andy that she’s never really put Xanax in a smoothie, and Andy says she could use one. Erika says when you say sh*t, it becomes bigger than it is. She says it doesn’t make anybody look good; they’re all in the same boat, and she doesn’t understand why it keeps happening.

Andy asks about the coke thing. LisaR says she was just being honest. Dorit says she’s a mom, and Lisa went there for no reason. Lisa says it’s what she observed, and Dorit says she said it to hurt her. Kyle says she would have flipped out if it had been said about her. Andy asks why did everyone get up and where did they go? I find out the guy who got stuck at the table with Lisa is Elliot Mince. Lisa says that Dorit was told she needed a touch up, and everyone disappeared. I’m thinking they wanted to get away from Lisa, and maybe Elliot is deaf. Dorit says she doesn’t know what happened. It could have been a number of things, none of which is what Lisa insinuated. Andy asks if there were drugs at her party, and Dorit says of course not, it’s ridiculous. He asks if Lisa’s personality is induced in any way, and Lisa says she’s 100% Lisa.

Andy almost gets Kim and Eden off the stage, but Eileen interrupts, saying that Kim looks down on her because she’s a soap actress. Kim says she doesn’t, but she thinks Eileen is exaggerating things, and reality TV is different. Eileen asks if Kim has seen herself. Kim says she’s dramatic, but it’s real life drama. Eileen says she doesn’t talk about Kim that way. Kim repeats that this is real life, and Eileen says bye-bye, rude, bye-bye Kim, which makes her look pretty immature. Kim brings up Eileen’s support of LisaR, and Eileen says she thought it might have something to do with that. LisaV suggests that Eileen is supportive when LisaR is wrong, but Eileen and LisaR won’t hear of it.

Eden and Kim finally exit. LisaR claims she needs a Xanax, and walks offstage. What did Erika just say? She’s doing it to herself.

We go down LisaV Memory Lane. We go over her work for the dogs, and I try not to get all emotional. I love Lisa all over again. We also flash back to Max’s search for his birth parents. Andy asks how Lisa came to terms with that. She says that she felt more vulnerable in the beginning. She tells Andy that they found Max’s mother. Andy asks if he’s going to meet her, and Lisa thinks he should. He says he wants to thank her. She says if she was younger, she might feel threatened, because he could be taken away, but it’s still emotional. She says she wants to create a buffer in case it doesn’t work out the way they’re hoping. We move on to the condo that Lisa gave Max. A viewer wonders why she got it for him, since she promotes her kids making it on their own. She says that he’s a good kid who holds down a job, has been on his own for years, and asks for nothing, so she just wanted to do it. Seriously, I wouldn’t take up much space in her house if she wants to adopt me.

Andy talks about the dog meat trade, and asks if China has acknowledged our fight against it. Lisa says what’s important is to get the word out. Taiwan did recently outlaw the dog and cat meat trade, which is definitely progress, but it was before this was filmed. Eileen says she’s done a great thing, and Lisa thanks everyone for being supportive.

A viewer accuses LisaV of replacing Giggy with a younger, furrier Harrison. Lisa says Harrison was very needy and she probably over compensated, but the Gigster still reigns, and they’re best friends. Andy asks if it’s like Menudo at her house, and all of us laugh. We see an interview with Giggy. Too cute for words. Giggy!

We see LisaR’s nude selfie from Instagram. Thanks. Harry didn’t even know about it, but her daughters made her take it down. We look back on family time at Lisa’s house. They discuss Delilah’s new modeling career, and Lisa says Amelia is right on her heels. Andy stupidly wonders if it was awkward when Delilah did the same show as Gigi Hadid. Lisa says not at all, and talks about how lovely Gigi is and that Yolanda did a wonderful job. We find out that Harry watches all of the shows. She says he tells her she just can’t help herself, and she gets it from all sides.

Andy asks if there are any regrets. LisaR says she’ll never talk about Kim again. He asks Eileen what she has to say to her critics, and she says she always comes from a good place. Dorit says she wouldn’t have given Erika the underwear, and she’s learned about how it goes when something gets out there. Kyle says new people shift the dynamics, but she thinks they’re all good people, and it was a good experience. Andy asks LisaV what she’d do if someone tried to steal the crown, and Lisa says let them have it, adding that she’s had good relationships this season. I’m sure anything beats Brandi. Andy says that Erika revealed more than she had possibly planned on revealing, and Erika says no regrets. She hopes people see that she’s like everyone else inside. Andy brings up how she said everyone needs a little Erika Jayne, and asks who needs it the most. Erika says they all need triple-shots right now.

This helps Andy segue to the smoothie toast he’s prepared, and he asks LisaR for the bunny. She gives it to him for the clubhouse (where it was the bartender, as well as the secret word tonight). The smoothies have umbrellas in them. Andy says long live The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and everyone clinks glasses. Lisa says it’s better with a Xanax.

The end…for now.

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

We revisit Tracy’s unveiling of the clown picture. Tracy realizes that Larry wasn’t around during the fire drill. That’s because he was busy stealing the painting. He kisses it, and says that when Tracy tries to screw him out of a deal, she just ends up screwing herself. I’m not feeling the new Larry, and wish they’d bring back the previous actor.

Jake sees Franco at the hospital, and asks if he’s back to work. Franco says not yet, and finds out that Jake is there to see Andre. Franco shows him a picture of the latest drawing on the timeline, and asks if he knows how it got into his studio.

At the docks, Jason tells Sam that Julian is desperate to get out of town. Sam wonders what Julian would do to Alexis if she ran into him. Well…

Alexis and Julian are getting busy.

Tracy says every time Larry darkens her doorstep, she has to pay, and he’s not getting away with it. The others agree, and split up to look for Larry.

Jake insists he didn’t draw on the timeline, and it must have been one of his brothers. Franco wonders which one could have gotten into his studio. He asks who Jake thinks the boy in the picture is, and he says he doesn’t know. Franco asks if there’s anything he wants to talk about. Jake tells him not to tell anyone, especially his parents. Elizabeth comes up the stairs, telling Jake not to run off like that.

Jason finds Hooper on the docks. He says that he and Sam have some questions.

Alexis tells Julian that when she turned around on the bridge, he was gone. He says Olivia-J shot him, but even though it bled a lot, it wasn’t serious. He was the phantom stalking her, and apologizes for scaring her. She says she read the letter. He wishes he hadn’t taken so long to tell her the truth. He tells her that he’s sorry. She says she thought he was gone. He says he’s here now, and he’s never going to leave her.

On the grounds of the Quartermaine estate, Larry talks to someone on the phone about storing the painting. He literally runs into a strange girl, and drops it. It’s the girl from the monastery, and he asks who she is. Ned, Laura, and Dillon run up. Larry blames the girl for stealing the painting, but they don’t buy it. Ned grabs Larry, and the painting, and gives him the bum’s rush back to the house.

Laura thanks the girl for stopping Larry. She introduces herself as Samira Adine, and Laura asks what brought her there. She’s there to see Tracy.

Tracy tells Larry he’s despicable. Larry says that he at least deserves a finder’s fee, and Tracy says he’s lucky she’s not calling the police. Tracy says where were we, and Monica says hogging the happy couple’s spotlight. Tracy unveils the real painting. She says it was painted by a renaissance painter, and Monica apologizes, saying it’s beautiful. Ned says the resemblance is striking. He tells Tracy that her father loved her.

Elizabeth tells Jake that he’s not in trouble, but Andre is waiting for him, and he leaves. She tells Franco she doesn’t know if she’s doing the right thing. Whenever she tries to get Jake to open up about the island, he pulls away. She’d feel less useless as a mother if she knew what she was doing was right. Franco shows her the picture of the timeline and what Jake added.

Hooper tells Sam and Jason that if he sells out clients, he’s out of business. Jason says if Sonny gets mad, he’ll be out of business. Sam tells him that they’re good friends with Sonny, and asks why he was meeting Julian.

Alexis thought Hooper was helping Julian, and Julian says that was the plan. He wondered what she’d do if she found out he was alive, and now he knows. He thought they might still have a future. She tells him that he can’t stay in Port Charles. He suggests running away together. They’ll get word back eventually, and the kids will understand. They can start over. No right side or wrong side; just the two of them together. Alexis says he misunderstood what happened tonight. It’s not a fresh start. It’s good-by.

Hooper tells Jason and Sam that Julian never showed up. Sam asks if there was a woman with Julian when Hooper met with him, but Hooper says no. He tells them that if Julian makes contact, he’ll call. He leaves, and Jason tells Sam that if Alexis went with him, it was probably willingly.

Alexis says she understands why Julian has to disappear, but she’s not going. He says they love each other, and she says he held a knife to her throat. I hate when that happens. It’s such a buzzkill.  Julian says it’s the biggest regret of his life, and she knows why he did it. Alexis says that she knows how she felt, and can’t get past it. She says it’s not just about Olivia-J forcing him to do her bidding; it’s what he did before that. She asks if it was his intention to hurt Duke and Carrrlos. Julian says he loves her, and she tells him it doesn’t mean anything; there are two sides to him. He tells her that they both would stand by her, which is a pretty clever comeback. She says it’s only a matter of time before someone else gets hurt, and she’s not doing it. He says it wasn’t all bad, and she says it wasn’t, but it was built on the hope that the better side of him would win. He asks about tonight. She says she just wanted to remember. He promises it can always be like that, but she says he can’t promise that. She needs closure, and needs him to give it to her.

Tracy tells Ned to get Larry out. Tracy asks Monica if she can replace the wall-hanging now, but Monica thinks the painting should go in the front hall. Laura and Samira come in, and Ned says Samira is the one who caught Larry. Samira says she’s traveled a long way from Turkey to see Tracy. Tracy wonders how Samira tracked her down, and Samira says the monks gave her the information. The painting has to be returned. Tracy says she explained everything to the monks, and she’s willing to make another donation, but she’s not parting with the painting. Samira says her daughter’s life depends on it.

Franco tells Elizabeth what Jake said about the timeline. She says it’s obviously something he witnessed. Franco isn’t sure if it’s literal. Elizabeth thanks him, and says she’ll talk to Andre. Jake sees them hugging. Franco has the phone in his hand, and Jake asks if he showed Elizabeth his picture. Franco says she needs to know, and Jake runs away.

Sam tells Jason that she doesn’t think finding the scarf is an accident, and isn’t going to allow history to keep repeating. The only way to keep Julian away is to find him and send him to prison. Sam remembers an app she has that tracks down friends, and finds Alexis’s location. She says they have to call the police.

Julian tells Alexis that the only life worth living is one with her in it. She says she wishes she could say the same thing. Her feelings re powerful, and he caused so much heartache. She doesn’t want any more pain, and it’s the only place this will lead. He says he loves her, and he’ll honor her wishes. He’s leaving town, and he’ll never see her again. He asks her to just give him tonight, and they start getting busy again.

Larry tells Ned that all’s right with the world. Ned says hardly. Larry swiped the painting like it was a piece of jewelry he could pawn. Larry suggests they not discuss it in mixed company, since Olivia-F is with Ned. Ned says Olivia is his family, which is more than he can say for Larry. Larry wants to let bygones be bygones. He says Tracy will forget about it; she’s used to his schemes, and it’s no reason to kick him out. Ned says he’s no longer welcome, and he’s disinvited to the wedding. Larry says he’s not going anywhere, and sooner or later Ned will miss him. Ned doubts it.

Tracy asks Samira for ID. She says it looks correct, but could have been forged. Laura looks at the emergency visa. She notes that it’s for Virginia. Samira explains that some refugees helped her. She tells them about men kidnapping her daughter. Dillon thinks it sounds like human trafficking. Laura realizes that Samira was the one who was crying at the monastery. Samira says that she went to the monks for help, and they wanted to use the painting to bargain.

Dillon wants Tracy to give her the painting. Tracy wants to think about it because she’s hesitant to believe the story. Monica says if the monks believe the story, maybe they can just give them the money. Tracy says they could all end up in jail. Samira says if she took the painting, no money would change hands.

Ned tells Olivia-F that he wonders how he sprang from the same gene pool as Larry. She says good parenting has nothing to do with DNA, and he proves that with Leo. Ned says with Julian gone, he wants to be there for Leo. He asks if the offer is still on the table to adopt Leo. It is.

Alexis has to leave. Julian tells her to take care of Sam and Lucas, and to take care of herself. A lot of people love her, and if she wants a drink, call them. She tells him to be careful. They’re about to kiss, and the police bust in, along with Jason and Sam.

Tracy says that customs knows she has the painting. If it ends up as currency, she’ll get in trouble. She suggests Laura get ahold of Robert, and find out the details. Monica says they’ll get some food and make up a room for Samira. Laura says she’ll call Robert, but she thinks Samira is telling the truth, and Tracy might be the only one who can help.

Elizabeth and Franco can’t find Jake. Elizabeth says this is how it started. Franco tells her to check Andre’s office. He sees sneakers next to a cart, and finds Jake hiding. Jake tells him to go away. Franco says he gets it; he wouldn’t want to talk to him either, but his mom is worried. Jake doesn’t want them knowing anything else about the scarecrow.

Julian says Alexis is his hostage. BTW, this place is called the Rendezvous Motel. Very classy. Julian is arrested. He and Alexis stare at each other.

Samira asks Tracy to believe her. Tracy says painting means a lot to her. Samira shows her a journal and a ring. Tracy says her father had a ring like this. She opens the journal, and sees Edward’s handwriting. She finds a picture of Lila. She asks where Samira got this. Samira says she got them from her mother. Tracy’s father left them to her, as they’d been friends. She says she’s telling the truth. Monica takes her upstairs.

Tracy talks to the painting like it’s Edward. She says, she has blue eyes, and not to do this to her.

Tomorrow, Hayden can’t make any promises, Tracy isn’t giving up her father’s legacy, and Michael tells Sonny to leave Port Charles.

If Loving You is Wrong

Kelly finds out that Justice is in the car with Travis. She tells her assistant to call the police. Doesn’t that kid have a GPS on his phone? Kelly wants to talk to Travis, who tells her it’s illegal to talk on the phone and drive. She asks where he’s taking Justice, but he pretends like he can’t hear her. He tells her he’s hanging up, and that Justice loves her.

Kelly gets on the phone with Officer Rick. She tells him that Travis has her son. Rick takes down whatever information she has, which isn’t much. He gives another officer the phone number, and has him run a trace on Justice’s phone. Kelly keeps repeating, “Why is he doing this?”

Rick puts an APB out on Travis’s car. Esperanza asks what’s going on. Kelly calls her and tells her about Travis taking Justice. Esperanza says she’ll call her back. I don’t blame Esperanza for being frustrated all the time when she has to find out what emergencies are going on from neighbors. Kelly tries to get Justice back on the phone, but gets voicemail. Justice asks Travis where they are. Kelly tries calling him, but call, rinse, repeat.

Brad pretends to work. Eddie strolls in. He asks if Alex told him what happened before he got there. Brad says no, and Eddie says he has to hear it. He tells Brad about finding Alex with Andrew, and how she took off in the squad car. He claims he did everything he could to stop her. He wonders why Brad saved the baby, and Brad says it’s an innocent baby. Eddie says it’s a disgrace to him. He can’t figure out what’s going on, and Brad says that’s because he doesn’t have a heart. Eddie says Brad is his best friend and he can help him. They have Alex where they want her. If he spills the beans, she’ll go to jail. Brad can make her do anything he wants. Brad says he’s had enough. Eddie tells him it’s no time to get soft, but Brad says he’s done with it. He tells Eddie that Alex has suffered enough, and he’s done. Eddie says what about Brad’s suffering, and Brad tells him to leave. Eddie says he’ll go, but the soldier he knew wouldn’t let himself become a mockery. When his best friend comes back, call, but until then, he’s out.

Marcie brings flowers to Louise. She asks what the doctor said, and Louise says she’s under observation. Marcie wants Louise out of there, and Louise wants out too. They hug, and Louise thinks Marcie has a temperature. Marcie says she’s fine. They talk about Randal. Marcie says she stayed as far away as possible, but Louise says her heart didn’t. Marci calls Randal a bully, and says she wants nothing to do with him. She can love and worry about him, but not like him.

She starts to tell Louise something, and Randal comes in. He tells Louise how angry he is with Alex. Louise tells him to say hello to Marcie. Marcie wants to go; she says she can’t breathe. He asks if she’s sucking all the air out of Brad, and she says every chance she gets. She tells Louise she’ll be back. Randal calls her a slut, and she says she’s using the tricks he taught her. She leaves, and Louise tries to chastise Randal, but he doesn’t want to hear it.

Randal tells Louise that Alex said the child wasn’t his. Louise asks if he’s sure it is. Randal says Alex told the judge that she had multiple partners. Louise says, chalk one up for the white girl. Ha-ha! She says if a woman will cheat on her husband, why wouldn’t she cheat on her boyfriend? Randal insists it was only him, and that’s his son. Louise tells him that Alex let her see the baby, and tells Randal about talking to Alex. She says he could be Randal’s son, and Randal says no way he’s not. Louise thinks it’s foolish and naïve for Randal to think he’s the only one. He says the only other Black man that Alex knows is the mailman. Louise says it wouldn’t be the first time a housewife hooked up with a mailman, and Randal says he’s like, 200 years old.

Randal asks what Marcie wanted, and Louise says he ran her out before she could say. He asks if he can get Louise anything. She says peace, quiet, and time alone. She tells Randal he wears her out, and to go home. She tells him to check on the mailman. Ha-ha! I love Louise.

Diane shows up at Kelly’s office while she’s on the phone. Kelly says now is not the time. Diane wonders how she’s working around money, considering her past, and asks if they know her background. Kelly says she can’t afford to lose her job, and Diane suggests they talk then. Kelly asks Diane what she wants. Diane wants a key, since her son is getting out soon. Kelly says she needs time to talk to her son and explain things. Diane offers to talk to him, and Kelly wigs out a little bit. Diane asks if Kelly knows what it’s like to not know where her son is and what he’s doing. Kelly says more than Diane knows. Diane asks if Kelly understands about a mother wanting to protect her son. She wants the key. Kelly gives it to her.

Joey wants out of the hospital. Natalie is surprised he hasn’t been kicked out, but doesn’t think he’s ready to go. She says he’s barely walking, and will need rehab. He says he can walk and she asks him to show her. He can’t, and she says he’s not some superhero. He says he will be getting out. Natalie tells him that he has physical therapy today.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s Mr. Kim. Joey asks about Faun, and he says she’s home and healing. Natalie says she knows he’s upset that they were together, but he says he’s not. He thanks Joey for saving her life. He says if Joey hadn’t had a gun, he doesn’t know what would have happened. He owes Joey. Joey says another guy is dead because of him. Mr., Kim offers Joey his job back, and leaves them to their family time.

Joey says that was crazy. Natalie says she’ll be back. She sees Mr. Kim in the hallway. She asks if he paid Joey’s hospital bills. He didn’t, and she’s wondering why they’re letting Joey stay there when they have no insurance. Mr. Kim is surprised they don’t have any, because he’s under the mistaken impression that it’s actually affordable. Natalie goes back into Joey’s room, and Joey asks what she said to Mr. Kim. She’s saved by the phone ringing. Lushion says he needs her help. He tells her to come to the house. She says she’s on her way. She tells Joey to try to walk.

Alex burns dinner. She tells the kids she’ll take them out. They ask how they’re getting there, and she says she’ll call a cab. Peter asks where the car is, and she says she had an accident. Paisley asks about the baby, and she tells them to stop asking questions. She apologizes for being snippy. Paisley asks if she’s okay. She tells them to get ready, and tells Peter to ask Kelly if she can borrow her car. The kids go upstairs, and Alex cries.

Lushion stops by and asks if he can borrow candles. Alex invites him in, and creepy Randal watches from his porch. Lushion asks if everything is okay, and Alex says she burned dinner. She looks for the candles and gives him some really nice ombre ones. He says he wants to surprise Natalie, and tells Alex not to let her know. He says it feels good to borrow from neighbors. He says he knows what Alex is going through, and mentions Randal pressing charges. Alex asks if she can go to jail for what her parents did. Lushion says she had nothing to do with it…right? He asks if she saw Andrew, and she says he picked her up after she wrecked her car. Lushion asks if Andrew took her to her parents, but the kids come down and interrupt the conversation. Lushion says they can borrow his car, but Alex says they’ll just walk to the deli. Paisley says she doesn’t like deli food – like no kid ever said – and Alex says they’ll get some fresh air. Lushion thanks her and leaves. She follows with the kids. Creepy Randal is still in the same position he was when Lushion arrived, and quietly calls Alex a bitch.

Both Pete and Joey are in physical therapy. Pete is walking a little, and Joey says he needs a break. Pete introduces himself to Joey. They discover they were both shot. Pete says he was an innocent bystander, and Joey says he’s a cop in Maxine. Pete plays along, asking Joey how long he’s been a cop, and Joey says years. Pete ask if he was shot in the line of duty. Joey makes up a story, saying his back-up was late. Pete asks who it was and Joey says a guy named Lushion. He says Lushion is way too old to be a cop, and was probably out getting doughnuts. Pete asks what he called in when he got shot. Joey says 187 and even I know that’s incorrect. Pete points that out.

Some cops bust in to arrest Joey for violating probation. They drag him out of his chair, saying he can go to the prison hospital. Joey is yelling, and the doctor tries to intervene, but they cart Joey away.

Next time, Randal confronts Alex, Kelley’s ex says that he loves her, and Alex comes on to Randal, totally creeping me out.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Reunion Part Two

We just jump right in. Erika says she didn’t like the way PK asked if she’s for sale. He’s defensive of Dorit, but Erika says her beef is with him. Andy says she’d claimed to be over it, and LisaV suggests having a sense of humor. A viewer asks if LisaV has forgiven Erika for her accusing her of sniping from the sidelines, and we see a clip of Erika talking to someone who’s no longer on the show, it was so long ago. Lisa says she thought Erika was relaxed with her nudity, and we flash back to some flashes. Kyle says it wasn’t funny because Erika wasn’t in on the joke. A viewer suggests Kyle could have intervened, and Kyle says she told Dorit she didn’t think it would go well. She and LisaV get in a small argument. They both talk at once, so who knows what it’s about? Kyle tells Lisa not to turn things around, and that she wasn’t there.

LisaR asks why Dorit doesn’t just apologize. Because LisaR only listens to herself. Dorit has apologized over and over. Andy says he was surprised that Erika didn’t tell Tom right away, and asks how she approached him about it. She says she explained how the story was going to pan out, and he gets it, which doesn’t surprise me in the least. Erika implies that Dorit drug her through the mud. Andy asks PK how he felt about LisaR asking if Dorit trusted him, but he just rolled with it. Lisa says she’s sorry for that. PK apologizes for the joke he made, but says he doesn’t owe an apology to Tom.

Dorit says she doesn’t know how many times she can say sorry. Erika says she wasn’t the one who wouldn’t let it go. Dorit says everyone was still joking about it. She points out that Andy just did when they sat down. PK says he’s heard all their insults, and all he did was make a bad joke. Please, PK, don’t say it’s not like you killed her child.

Since he can’t leave it alone, Andy brings up PK saying that Erika should concentrate on the deep-rooted problems in her marriage. Erika says he doesn’t even know her, but LisaR keeps interjecting, and PK says he seems to be discussing Erika with Lisa. Lisa says that he claimed she was unhinged and maybe had a drug problem. He says his first experience with her was at a dinner he thought went fabulous, and he can’t believe she could leave such a great evening, then say there were bad intentions. Lisa deflects, saying that Dorit didn’t remember the conversation they had about Eileen’s father passing away. Huh? Andy interjects, asking why Lisa said that the people at dinner left to “blow some rails.” I guess he thinks he sounds hip. Lisa says she’d gotten to a point that she’d had it with the Xanax thing. Dorit says she never said Lisa had a problem, but Lisa went after her with a preposterous accusation. PK says he’s never done coke, and the suggestion was ridiculous. LisaV says it’s a damaging thing to say, and thinks it was just retaliation. LisaR insists that’s what she observed. PK says you don’t have to be honest, if it’s not factual, which is another way of saying what I always do, that these women tend to hide their animosity behind the guise of honesty. Andy says fake news is all the rage. Because he’s so Andy.

LisaR talks about the inappropriate stuff said by PK after the confrontation at LisaV’s party, and that he should have let it go. PK admits that they were being naughty. Dorit came back distraught, and he felt that the mean girls had bullied his wife. His emotions were running high, and he’d had a few drinks. I’m with him here. Both he and Ken were inappropriate, but they were just letting off steam privately. LisaR says if she’d said something, it would be different, and PK says that she’s said a million things that she’s apologized for. There’s no question that he was upset. He says that he did walk away from the confrontation, because none of the other husbands were there, and Dorit says Erika is the one who invited him into the conversation.

PK tells Erika she’s not nice, and she tells him to get the f out of here. She says it’s easy to apologize in hindsight, and it’s fine. Andy asks if it really is, and she says they have to start over and they’ll see.

We see a montage of the Beverly Hills double air kiss greeting, which is also a chance to look over some past fashion. Kyle says she was sometimes embarrassed by the hellos. We see the various careers and projects the women have going on. Erika hits the nail on the head saying, busy girls. They talk about Erika performing at Christina Aguilera’s birthday party. Everyone promotes their whatever. We find out Kyle’s show was picked up, but she won’t be on it personally. Erika is also coming back to The Young and the Restless. Erika was partly named after Erika Kane from All My Children, and we see part of a talk show interview where she met Susan Lucci. Dorit talks about the many businesses that she and PK are involved with. She’s encouraged by the other women to continue with designing clothing, and having her own thing going apart from PK.

Kim and Eden join the group. We see a picture of Kim’s grandson, who’s wearing one of those terrycloth hoodies with animal ears and looks adorable. We also see a picture of Kim on a date with Donald Trump. Andy suggests Kim could have been the First Lady, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. We flash back to scenes with Eden. We see many awkward hugs. Even Eden has to laugh. She’s wearing some fabulous fringe earrings that I probably can’t afford, and explains about the long hugs breaking the introduction energy, and that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

LisaV talks about having known Vidal Sassoon, but says she’d never met Eden. I remember liking his jean brand. Eden has been busy on Twitter shading Kyle. Eden says in watching the show, she saw how mean Kyle was. Kyle asks her to put herself in her shoes. She thought they were cool, then Eden said she was cold and distant in her interview. She adds that Eden ambushed her with questions about alcoholism right off the bat.

Andy brings up Eden and LisaR becoming fast friends, and how that changed, and we see clips. Including the one where Lisa said that Kim was close to death. It’s all worth watching to see LisaV’s sparkly earrings when she told Kyle what Eden had said. Ooh, Eden’s ballerina outfit at LisaV’s party is pretty good too. Andy reads viewer questions. Eden explains that she was overwhelmed in meeting Kim, and couldn’t not stick her nose where it didn’t belong. She doesn’t say it quite like that, but that’s my translation. Andy asks what Eden thought was wrong, and Eden says she felt nervous energy. Kim suggests when she feels that, to respect people’s spaces. She says they could have been friends, but instead of going to the source, Eden just repeated what LisaR had said and badgered Kyle. Kim says that Eden shouldn’t have been taking her inventory, and Eden tells Kim not to tell her how to work a program. Well, if part of the program is not taking anyone else’s inventory, then Kim has a right to point that out.

Andy asks the million-dollar question – why the blip did LisaR say what she did about Kim not being sober and close to death? Kim suggests that she doesn’t remember. Lisa says it was after game night. We flash back to their tiff. Kim says that Lisa lies, cries, and denies, and that it was unbelievable to watch. She says that Lisa has a huge heart, and she does like being around her. Lisa says they’ve made amends since then, and have moved on. Kim has big hopes. Andy asks about the bunny that Lisa gifted Kim’s grandson with. Here’s where it gets confusing.

Kim has brought said bunny, still in the wrapper. She didn’t give it to her grandson, because she didn’t feel that it had good energy. She gives it back to LisaR, and tells her when she’s in a better place, maybe she can give it back to her. This is the stupidest, meanest thing ever. Kim says she’s all about energy and being positive. Eden asks if she wants a crystal for healing, and Kim says she is healed. Kim says that Lisa might be better off giving it to someone else. Lisa starts crying, and Eileen wonders why Kim chose to do this at the reunion. Kim says she doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not with LisaR. Andy asks Lisa what she’s thinking. She says she doesn’t need to say anything; she gets it loud and clear. Andy is confused, since he thought they were in a good place, but Kim says she doesn’t know if she’s ready to be Lisa’s friend. Lisa says it’s okay. She’s forgiven herself, and she’s okay with that. Kyle interjects that Kim is like that, but she sees why Lisa feels badly. Lisa says Harry thought it was a good idea to give Kim the gift, even though she had second thoughts. Kim says maybe it’s good that she feels badly, since she hurt Kim.

LisaR says she has to leave the stage for a moment. Eileen follows. Eileen says that it was a calculated move, trying to demean and hurt Lisa, when Lisa was just being nice. Lisa says she’s good because she has a good life. They regroup.

Dorit says it’s not like LisaR is just the victim. Kyle tells Kim to go back and explain to LisaR how superstitious she is. Yeah. More like yearning for attention. LisaR is an idiot, but this is nasty.

Eileen says it just shows where she’s at, and LisaR says Kim showed her true colors.

Kim goes backstage with the bunny. It’s like some bizarro world version of Fatal Attraction.

Next time – the Reunion, part three – Dorit tells LisaR she has a big mouth, the bag of pills is revealed, and Kim accuses Eileen of making faces (like no one else does that). If anyone deserve a four-part reunion, it’s these girls, but I think that three is it with this one.

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Obrecht complains about Finn’s leave of absence. She asks Hayden what the reason is.

Tracy calls out for Finn. No answer. She starts to call security, and then says never min. Finn walks in with a bottle of wine, and asks what she’s doing there. She says she has a better question – how much Zen Zen did he shoot tonight?

Michael and Dante talk about Olivia-J, and Michael thanks him for hunting her down. Dante says Carly and Sonny had her at gunpoint when he got there, but must have realized killing her would only make things worse for their family. Michael says they got justice for Morgan, and now have to face what’s left of their lives.

Bobbie asks Carly if she ever returns texts. Carly apologizes for forgetting they were supposed to meet. She went to see Jason and the baby, and also saw Sonny. She tells Bobbie they kissed, and Bobbie asks if they’re reconciling. Carly says they’re the only ones who understand one another, but that doesn’t mean they should be together. Bobbie brings up Nelle sleeping with Sonny, but Carly is more concerned about the lies and that he left them wide open to Nelle’s machinations.

Nelle explains to Nina that she had to put her teaching degree on hold due to finances, but she was working as a teacher’s aide.

Valentin tells Anna that she’s interfering with the happiness and future of his family, and if she doesn’t back off he’ll remove her. She takes this as a threat, and he says he means he’ll remove her presence from his life. He says if warring nations can call a truce, they can too. She says he sounds reasonable, but that’s one of his talents, presenting something outrageous and making it sound rational. She says peace and ignorance are two different things. She wants the truth and won’t stop until she gets it.

Nina is amazed at Nelle’s experience, but says being a nanny is different. Nelle says it is, but you still need the same skills, and she can also provide tutorial help. Nina asks why she quit so abruptly. Nelle says she didn’t exactly quit, and Nina asks why she was fired.

Michael tells Dante about Sonny’s lying. Dante asks what’s up with Michael. Michael says he’s focused on getting Josslyn through it, but Dante is talking about Nelle. Michael tells him that a lot of people got hurt, but he’s the least of the damage.

Bobbie tells Carly that they always end up together again. Maybe there’s a reason, or maybe it’s the tipping point; time will tell. Carly thinks maybe she deserves it, but Bobbie says it’s Nelle’s fault. Carly says she keeps trying to make sense of everything and find something real, and all she can come up with Is that she’s a hypocrite. She wonders if it’s karma and payback for what she did to Bobbie.

Valentin calls Anna’s memory loss a pretense and a mind game. Anna says why she would do that. She says they have a past, but he goes out of his way not to talk about it. Just tell her what she needs to know and they’ll be done with it. He says he almost believes her, and to ask him anything. She asks why she put out a kill order against him.

Tracy asks if Finn is ignoring the question. He says she ignored his, and asks again why she’s there. She asks if he took Zen Zen, and he asks if it looks like it. She asks about the mess, and he tells her that it was the last of his supply and he fumbled it away. She says maybe he saved his own life. She asks for drink, and he shoves one at her. She asks when he’s checking into rehab, and he says no room at the inn. Tracy offers to pull some strings, but he says he’s changed his mind. He’s not a group therapy kind of guy, and needs to do it alone on his terms. Tracy calls him asinine.

Elizabeth tells Obrecht that Finn is working on an article about his cure a prestigious medical journal. Obrecht says it didn’t take long for his ego to kick in. Elizabeth says when he comes back, maybe he’ll be a better doctor, and Obrecht says that by this time next year he’ll probably be on a book tour. Obrecht leaves, and Hayden thanks Elizabeth. Elizabeth says she’s there if Hayden needs her.

Anna tells Valentin that a kill order was issued in her name, and he owes her the truth. Valentin gets angry, saying he owes her nothing. He could have pressed charges or left her for dead, but didn’t. He just wants to forget her. She says she would never have done something like that unless he flipped, and asks if he was working for the DVX.

Nina says Nelle seems capable, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of a disagreement between Nelle and Carly. Nelle understands. Charlotte shows them her puzzle and thanks Nelle for helping her. Nelle starts to leave and thanks Nina for the dress. Nina tells her wait. She says obviously Charlotte loves her, and she would be an asset for her starting school, so let’s do an interview. She’ll need to know whoever takes care of Charlotte on a personal level, and Nelle asks what she has in mind.

Bobbie tells Carly they put all that to rest years ago. Carly says she never understood how Bobbie must have felt until now. She and Tony were trying to rebuild their marriage, and never got back together. Bobbie says they separated because of what happened, but other things came up and they made wrong choices. He lashed out at the world, and she was trying to make peace. Carly asks if Bobbie is saying that she should forgive Nelle, but Bobbie says that’s different. Nelle isn’t her flesh and blood, and the sooner Carly puts Nelle out of her mind, the better. She tells Carly about Nelle having been at the MetroCourt earlier, and how she told her to get out before she called security to put her out. Carly says looks like security might get a second chance, as Nelle steps out of the elevator.

Elizabeth finds Hayden in her office. She wants to explain why she intervened. She didn’t want Hayden to be blindsided. She says that she knows it not easy, and Hayden knows where to find her if she needs anything. Hayden asks her to stay.

Tracy asks Finn why he thinks he can just quit. He says since he’s been cured of the disease, he’s better able to quit. She says it doesn’t look like it, since it’s been weeks already. Finn says he doesn’t want to be in a program that will box him in; he’ll lose his mind and be back where he started. Tracy asks if the plan is to drink himself into a stupor for 28 days, and he thinks that sounds good. He asks her to leave him alone and says she can’t help him. Tracy says Hayden can. Finn doesn’t want her to see him like this, but Tracy says she loves him, and to let her in or let somebody in. He says she’s the last person who should be giving relationship advice.

Michael tells Dante that he can sidestep a hostile takeover, but didn’t see Nelle coming. He should have known better and was too trusting. Dante says what’s the solution, being a cynic and building walls? Michael says he doesn’t know how to feel. Nelle said she wanted a fresh start, and for a moment, he wanted to believe her. Dante asks if he does, and Michael says it doesn’t matter. She did what she did, and everyone is hurting

Bobbie tells Carly that she’s going to take out the trash. Nelle says she doesn’t want any trouble. Nina pops out with Charlotte, saying there’s a child present. Carly says she’ll be glad to tell her why Nelle was terminated, but it’s not for little ears. Nelle takes Charlotte aside. Nina says she doesn’t know what’s going on, but she needs a nanny. Carly says hiring Nelle will be the worst mistake she’s ever made.

Valentin asks if Anna’s selective memory allows her to remember that she was a double agent. She can project that he’s responsible, but it’s really on her. She asks if something as insignificant as a rebuffed kiss made him sell out, and he says she’s either lying about the cruelest thing she ever did, or she’s blocking it out. She says he’s the liar with a charming exterior. He tells her that she’s bleeding.

Carly tells Nina that she fired Nelle because she slept with her husband. Her real name is Benson, and all the time she spent making herself indispensable, she was setting Carly up because of a grudge. Nina says sorry, but Charlotte loves her. Carly says so did Josslyn. Bobbie says Lulu isn’t going to have it, and Nina says she doesn’t care about Lulu’s opinion. Bobbie says Lulu is Charlotte’s mother, and if Nina doesn’t care enough to protect Charlotte from Nelle, she will. Nelle tells Nina to forget about the interview, and Nina says she’s hired.

Hayden tells Elizabeth that she knows Finn has challenges ahead and she’s been a classic enabler. Elizabeth says she loves him, and Hayden says she even used that, but no matter what she said or did, he refused to get help and pushed her away. She says he didn’t want her support, and said he had to deal with it alone, so she let him go, but hasn’t seen him since. Elizabeth says she thought it was up to her to get Lucky to see the light, but it wasn’t; his father got through to him. Hayden says Finn has no one else, and Elizabeth says you never know who will get through. She has to make peace with the fact that person may not be her.

Finn asks what Tracy’s marriage track record is. She doesn’t see what that has to do with it. He says she has a family business that she keeps chasing, although they keep firing her. He lists her faults, concluding with there’s no mark like rich lonely woman who didn’t get over daddy issues. She throws her wine in his face.

Finn apologizes for going too far, and says that he was just trying to push her away. He didn’t mean what he said. Tracy says he did, and most of it is true. She says her circle is limited. She never took much stock in friendships, and thought going it alone was the way to go, but alone is alone. Stephen Sondheim also pointed this out in Being Alive. Tracy says that most of her family is gone. The number of Christmas cards has diminished, and when she lies in bed at night, she wonders what her life would have been like had she let more people in. She asks if that’s what he wants.

Michael asks Dante how he could ever trust Nelle. She succeeded in breaking up their home. Dante says in playing devil’s advocate, he’s seen Michael sacrifice his own needs for the needs of his family over and over. If he decides to kick Nelle to the curb, do it for himself and no one else.

Bobbie is like, wait until Lulu hears. Nina tells Nelle that she’s Charlotte’s nanny provisionally. One lie or slip-up, and she’s out. She suggests taking Charlotte for hot chocolate, and of course she’ll have to meet Valentin. Nelle takes Charlotte out, and Bobbie says if Nina did this to spite her, the joke is on her. If Nelle ends up in bed with Valentin, she only has herself to blame. Carly tells Nina that when you lose your temper, it doesn’t make for the best decisions. Nina says she hired Nelle because she has an applicable background, and Charlotte loves her. Given the chance, people can change. Nina points out that hit happened with her and Carly. Carly says she was able to rebuild her life because someone gave her the benefit of the doubt. Nina says maybe someone should do the same for Nelle. Carly tells her that maybe she’s right, but maybe not, and to watch her back. What bugs me about Bobbie is that she’s so self-righteous and has no reason to be. She seemed gleeful coming at Nina, and I’m not liking that.At least Carly thinks about things.

Anna tells Valentin it’s just a cut, and Valentin says just a cut doesn’t bleed like that. Anna says it does if you’re on blood thinners, and tells him that she has cancer. She says it’s treatable, but not curable, and he asks if she’s up for challenge. She begs him to just tell her the truth. He says no, and starts to leave. She stops him, and he tells her that if she wants peace of mind, to forget they were ever in each other’s lives. On the porch, he’s obviously disturbed by the news.

Anna makes a phone call, saying she knows this is the last person they expected to hear from, but she has something important to talk about. For a moment, I wonder if she’s talking to Faison, but then I remember he’s on the lam and no one knows where he is.

Finn tells Tracy that he’d ask forgiveness, but he doesn’t deserve it. Tracy says being alone seems like a good idea, but it’s really sad. He has a woman who loves him and wants to share his struggles as well as his victories. The choice is his. She leaves ,and he picks up the phone.

Hayden thanks Elizabeth for listening and for the advice. She doesn’t want to hug though. Ha-ha! Elizabeth leaves, and Hayden’s phone rings. It’s Finn. He says he was wrong, and can’t do it alone. He needs her help.

Nina tells Valentin about Mrs. Evans’ sister, and says she quit abruptly. She says perfect candidate walked in, but if she catches her near his bed, she’ll strangle her.

Bobbie moans that first Lulu loses Charlotte to Valentin, and now Nelle is her nanny. Carly says the bright side is that with Nelle holed up on Spoon Island, she’ll be far away from their family.

Nelle and Charlotte go into Kelly’s. Nelle locks eyes with Michael.

Valentin asks Nina what he should know, and Nina says she’ll explain it later. She asks where he was, and he tells her that he was with Anna. He went to tell her that he wants to put history to rest, and offered a truce for the sake of his family. He meant what he said; she and Charlotte are all that matters, and the past where it belongs – in the past.

Obrecht comes into Anna’s house, saying she doesn’t really do house calls. Anna says she doesn’t need treatment; she needs answers.

Tomorrow, Laura wonders if Doc agrees with Andre, Obrecht thinks Anna must be hard up to ask her for help, and Nelle asks if Michael forgives her.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we left, there was a shootout at Rusty’s place, and Virginia was dangling the baby over the water where the gators live. She drops him into the water, and one of the cops shoots her. Lushion grabs Alex, and a bunch of guys go in to save the baby. As usual, Eddie acts like an a-hole, and Steven tells him to back off. Randal gets in his face, and he says Randal would be swinging from a tree if it wasn’t for him. Randal runs to the water.

Steven calls for an ambulance while Alex freaks out. Brad brings the baby to shore, and Lushion does baby CPR. The baby starts to cry, and even Steven looks happy. He has Alex warm the baby in a jacket. She thanks him.

Eddie grabs Brad and asks what’s wrong with him. He could have gotten rid of that thing. He says it’s no time to get soft, but Brad walks away from him. Alex goes with Steven to take the baby to the ambulance, while Randal harasses her the whole way. She gives the baby to an EMT. She says only one of them can go along, but they both want to go. Lushion is about to take Randal away, when the EMT tells them it’s okay.

Lushion says the FBI guys have the clean-up; it’s out of his jurisdiction. Eddie accuses him of being undercover FBI. Lushion tells him the drugs are making him paranoid. Eddie says that every time Lushion is around, the FBI shows up. He wants to know how that happens. He says he smells undercover all over him. Lushion says he thought the same thing about Eddie, but knows Eddie isn’t FBI material. Lushion tells him get out of his face. Eddie questions him about Claudia. Lusion asks how he got there, and Eddie says Steven asked him to back up Andrew, but he hasn’t seen him. He says he showed up at the crime scene, but there was no Andrew, and if he hadn’t shown up there, there would have been two more victims. Lushion gets loud, saying if he was FBI, he’d be checking the woods and lake for a missing officer. Eddie says that Lushion thinks he’s slick. Lushion says Eddie isn’t good enough to be FBI, but if he was Eddie he’d watch himself and make sure his tracks are covered. Eddie says he’s watching everything. Lesion says he’s always been right behind Eddie, watching. And I’m watching these two watching.

Lushion calls Steven over, saying they’ve already lost two officers, Pete and Andrew. Steven says he’s working on a whole cartel. Lushion wants to take Eddie down, but Steven says he’s getting a lot of heat about the cartel. He wants Eddie too, but they can’t blow this now. Lushion has to trust him.

At the station, Esperanza asks if the 911 operator has heard from the officers who went out, but she hasn’t. Kelly calls about Ramses. She says something happened at his house. She asks if Esperanza knows an officer named Rick, and tells her that he’s there now. She explains that he came after Travis harassed her, and Travis said something about Ramsey not coming back. She called Lushion about a restraining order, and he sent Rick. Rick went into Ramsey’s house and hasn’t told her what’s going on. Esperanza wonders why Kelly keeps involving herself in crazy stuff. Well, that’s because she’s a character in a Tyler Perry show. Esperanza can’t make any promises, but she’s on her way. Marcie is with Kelly, but Esperanza has no information on Brad either.

The EMT asks what happened. Alex says Virginia got what was coming to her, and Randal says yeah, a bullet between the eyes. The crazy bitch who did this burns in hell now. Randal tries to talk to Alex, but she isn’t having it. He wants to go to the hospital in Maxine, but the EMT says it’s three hours. He asks if it’s safe enough to go that far, and that he’ll be cutting it close. He has a court date and it’s important. What an a-hole! I hate Randal so much.

Alex can’t believe it. Randal says if his mother isn’t up and walking around, he promises her she doesn’t know what hell is. Alex says that she heard something and went to check the house, and Louise was unconscious. He asks if that’s the story she’s practicing, and Alex says that’s what she saw. He asks if she even called the cops. She doesn’t say anything, and he says he guesses that’s fair. He goes on about Alex letting everything bad in the world happen.

Joey opens his eyes. He tells his mother she should go home. Natalie asks how he feels, and he says not good. She tells him that he got shot, and he asks what happened to Quan. She says he’s dead, and Joey asks if he killed him. She says yes, and he tells her that he just wanted Quan to leave him alone. Natalie says he would have killed Joey. Joey starts to cry, and Natalie tells him not to stress himself; he’s alive. The doctors said he might not make it and wanted her to donate his organs. He says he doesn’t want to die, and she says he won’t. He says he’s in a lot of pain, but she tells him that’s to be expected. He tells her how sorry he is, and she says that when he gets out, she’ll kick his ass.

Joey asks about Faun, but Natalie doesn’t know. He asks if she got shot, and Natalie tells him that she did. He cries some more, and asks if she’s all right. Natalie says she’s been with him and doesn’t know. He says he needs to know how she is, and asks Natalie to find out.

In the hallway, Tilda asks Natalie if Joey killed her son. She says Quan didn’t shoot Joey, and she had to identify his body. Natalie says sorry, but Tilda says she doesn’t know what sorry is. She says Joey won’t live long – if he makes it. Natalie says if harm comes to Joey, she’ll die defending his ass. She says Tilda forgot who she is and to get out of her face. Tilda says that Natalie’s broke ass can’t say anything. Natalie asks how much she has, and Tilda says millions. Natalie says she earned it on her back and knees better than on feet in burger joint. Natalie tells her that her mother would be disgusted. Tilda says that Natalie thinks she knows her, and Natalie says she doesn’t, but she clearly doesn’t know herself. Tilda tells Natalie that she’ll be back, and Natalie tells Tilda not to threaten her. Tilda says if she has to identify her son’s body, so will Natalie. An eye for an eye. They almost tussle, but Lushion steps in.

Lushion asks what the hell that was about. Natalie says nothing she can’t handle. Lushion says he can’t leave her for a second, and asks about Joey. Natalie says he’s awake, and she was about to call Jackie because he wanted to know what happened to Faun. Natalie asks about Alex, Randal and the baby. Lushion tells her that they’re all fine, and goes into Joey’s room.

Lushion asks how Joey is feeling, and Joey says not good. Lushion says he knows the feeling. Joey says he killed Quan, and Lushion says he knows. Joey says he killed his best friend and didn’t mean to, and starts to cry. Lushion says it’s okay. Joey asks about Faun, and Lushion says Natalie is checking on her. Joey can’t believe any of this, and Lushion says what happened, happened, but the most important thing is that he’s okay. Joey asks why him. Lushion says sometimes things just happen; you have enemies you don’t even know about. He says Joey is a good kid, and he wouldn’t have shot Quan if he hadn’t come at him. Joey says he was just trying to protect Faun. He knew she should have had all that money with her, and explains that she made the deposits for the restaurant. Lushion asks if he knew they were trying to rob her, and says that if Joey hadn’t had the gun, things could have turned out differently. Quan was waiting for her. He tells Joey not to beat himself up about it. Joey says he keeps seeing Quan’s face, and Lushion says it will get better. Joey says he violated probation, and he’s going to jail now, but Lushion says they’ll take care of it later. Just rest.

The doctor tells Randal and Alex that the baby is okay. Randal wants to see his son, but Alex wants him to go home. The doctor says it’s not a good time, but she’ll keep them updated. Alex tells Randal that her parents are dead. He says they ruined her ass. He asks if she really doesn’t love him anymore, and I laugh. Boy, talk about not being able to get a hint. Alex says he really doesn’t get it? and he says he does. He says she played the only card she had, and now it’s his turn. He’s calling his lawyer right now, and taking “RJ.” He gets loud, saying that she set this up, and she can’t be a good mother from prison. She gets in his face and says she’ll never give him her child. He says that’s okay, the courts will, once she’s in jail. If looks could kill the both of them would be dead. They wait. Randal gets all smug looking. I always want to wipe that look off of his face.

Back in Maxine, Esperanza sees Officer Rick. She asks what’s going on, and he says he can’t talk about it. She asks if he always does everything by the book, and just tell her, but he’s not budging. She asks where Steven is, and says she can’t get ahold of anybody. She asks if he can tell her anything, but he says sorry. She wants to take a look at the scene and he says as long as it’s behind the tape. She goes inside Alex’s house

She tells Kelly she doesn’t know what’s going on. Marcie asks about Brad, but all she knows is that there are officers at the scene. Marcie wants to go there, saying that it’s taking too long. Esperanza says she should be resting – they all should be resting. Esperanza says she’ll wake the kids for school, and promises that someone will call her when there’s news.

Kelly looks out the window and gets upset. She says the coroner is out there. She starts crying, and says she can’t do this. Marcie goes outside. Kelly follows.

Marcie introduces herself to Officer Rick, and Kelly asks him what’s going on. He says there’s been a homicide. She asks if it’s Ramsey, and he tells her that they haven’t identified the body. He suggests she come to the station, but Kelly says she has to deal with getting the kids to school and her work day. Rick asks her to come after work. She’s verging on hysteria, saying no, no, no. He shows her a picture, and asks if that’s him. She says yes, and Rick tells her that he’s sorry, Ramsey is dead. Kelly weeps, saying too bad she liked him.

Next time, Travis confronts Kelly at the station, Randal looks for his mother, and Steven asks Eddie where Andrew is.

🙉 I swear to you, they claimed there would be a new episode of Too Close to Home afterward, but it was an old episode of Greenleaf. A show I’d love to watch, but don’t have the time for. This was just as well, as I love Imposters, and was able to catch this week’s episode on the first airing. Every week, it’s like a new layer to the intrigue gets added.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika wonders why Dorit would even bring up the pill thing if she didn’t think it was part of LisaR’s behavior. Dorit says that Erika is interrupting, and Erika says she talks too much. Dorit says Erika doesn’t talk enough, and Erika says she talks important sh*t, while Dorit talks boring sh*t, and too much of it. Dorit asks what Erika’s problem is with her, and at first, Erika lies and says she doesn’t have one. Then she says her problem is that Dorit is full of it, and she has no tolerance for BS. Dorit asks why Erika didn’t just say so, and Erika says she just did.

Erika says Dorit needs validation and is desperate for her attention. Dorit says that Erika isn’t even nice, so why would she want her attention? Erika says that Dorit doesn’t know her, and Dorit says she’s just giving her opinion. Erika asks if Dorit thinks she’s going to like her after everything that happened with the underwear. In her interview, Dorit says she thought they were past that, and we flash back to the both of them saying they’re done with Pantygate. Erika says she took something innocent and made it seem like Erika did it on purpose to get PK’s attention. In her interview, Dorit says she’s done nothing to Erika. Dorit says she never claimed that Erika did it on purpose, and LisaR – who can’t stand not putting in her two cents anymore – says that she did. Dorit says giving Erika the underwear was for a laugh, and she laughed. In her interview, LisaV says that Dorit wanted to bring levity to the situation. Dorit says she’s sorry, and Erika says it did hurt her feelings. She has them whether Dorit believes it or not. Erika says there’s truth in joking, and although Dorit thinks she’s cold, she agrees. She says she certainly doesn’t vie for Erika’s attention, and Erika says don’t talk to her at all then. Because we’re in middle school. LisaR says that Dorit should apologize for her husband looking, and Dorit says he’s a male. In her interview, Eileen says she wouldn’t expect Vincent to ever stare. Who knows unless confronted with the situation? Dorit tells LisaR to get out of her face, and Lisa says f-u. Dorit says she’s sorry everyone made such a big deal, and those participating in the argument throw up their hands. Dorit is like what do you want? LisaV interjects that she thought it was a joke. In her interview, Lisa says it’s a bit of a pile on, and if they felt that way should have said so at the time. LVP, always the voice of reason. Dorit says she wasn’t out to hurt Erika’s feelings, and Erika says, but you did Blanche! In her interview, Erika says what she doesn’t like is BS, and that’s what this is. She says Dorit is out to defame her. Honestly, I wouldn’t go that far.

They dock and Erika has a moment. She tells LisaV that she’s okay, and Lisa tells her that she doesn’t have to be. In her interview, LisaV says she doesn’t quite understand It, but the ice queen seems to be melting. Erika dries her tears. Kyle says there’s a lot going on because Erika doesn’t take crying lightly and doesn’t do it often. Erika takes a car back with LisaR, Eileen and Eden. The girls tell Erika how pretty she looks when she cries. Eileen seems to think acknowledgement of hurt feelings would have helped, ubt Erika says she’d have to mean it. Well, yeah.

Dorit says Erika has a glam squad who follows her and it’s gone to her head. She, LisaV, and Kyle are walking back. Lisa doesn’t get what the wall is for, and Kyle says it’s the way Erika was raised. Kyle sees Chanel and angels sing.

Back at the hotel. Erika apologizes, and the others are like, don’t do that. I agree, even though I’m not totally on her side. No one should every apologize for crying. Erika thanks Eileen for being supportive. She makes a joke about crying. Then they joke about being on vacation.

Dorit calls PK and asks about the kids. She says she’s dying, being away from them and PK. She tells PK that Hong Kong has proven to be a confessional, and tells him about the boat trip. She says that Erika thinks she’s desperate for her friendship, and PK laughs. He thinks Erika must be delusional. Dorit says that Erika has been holding resentment since Pantygate.

The girls meet for breakfast. Erika makes a point of ignoring Dorit. They’re going to see the giant Buddha. Erika says it’s 245 steps, and they’ll get in their cardio. In her interview, LisaR says Dorit is being a downer…like this one, and holds up a pill. BA-DUM-CHH! LisaV is hoping it will be a calming, spiritual experience. Fat chance with this group. Splitting into two groups again, they get in some sky cars that have clear bottoms. Cool! Kyle won’t look, Dorit keeps picking her feet up and squeaking. LisaV wants to rock the car, reminding me of my trip to Roosevelt Island with an old boyfriend, who also thought that would be amusing to do on the tram. The other car is totally calm. They see the Buddha on top of the mountain, and it’s breathtaking.

That is a lot of steps. It’s raining, and I’m guessing they were given ponchos and umbrellas, because they all look the same. Erika is depressed that her shoes are ruined. They spy a cow, and of course LisaV has to check him out. Kyle takes pictures.

At the Buddha place, there’s a fire where you light these long, thin tapers and say a prayer. Eileen says that her expectations have grown smaller. Where once she would have prayed for world peace, not she’s just wants Hong Kong peace among the chicks. Kyle checks in on Mauricio, who is having his eyebrows brushed by Portia. The trek is made up the steps. Kyle thinks it has to have some impact on these women. It’s huge. What a beautiful place.

Dorit has brought her makeup artist, which is funny considering what she said about Erika. She’s rocking a Madonna Blond Ambition ponytail. She talks about how Erika and lisaR weren’t talking to her at the Buddha, and feeling like she was among mean girls. Erika says she’s channeling Samurai Barbie, and Eileen looks like a glamourous babe from an old vampire movie. All in black,  form-fitting black cocktail dress with a black choker, red lipstick, pale, and hair like Veronica Lake. LisaR says it’s bad luck to toast with water, and it’s downhill from here.

Eden feels like there’s an elephant at the table, and LisaR asks if Dorit apologized. LisaV says that’s between them, and Erika says she hasn’t apologized. She tells LisaV not to minimize her feelings. In her interview, Lisa says if she laughed it off to begin with, none of this would have happened. Dorit asks what she was supposed to do, and Erika says shut her mouth or bring it to her privately. Dorit says she doesn’t remember insinuating anything. In her interview, LisaR doesn’t believe her, although she makes sure to tell us that when it’s herself, she really doesn’t remember. LisaR asks if Dorit trusts her husband. Dorit says implicitly, but Lisa insists she was threatened by Erika. Kyle is shocked. She can’t believe Lisa is talking about Dorit’s husband when they just got through how mistaken she was about Kim. She also mentions how crazy Lisa got when Kim suggested they talk about Lisa’s husband when they were in Holland.

Commercial break. The jury is in for Sweet Home Oklahoma. I like it.

LisaR tells Kyle to shut up, and says Dorit was threatened by Erika flashing. Erika wonders why there’s no deference to her, since she’s married too, and she doesn’t need a reputation. LisaR says it’s deeper than this, because she’s a clinical psychologist. She asks what was really going on; she wants to know what happened. Erika says she was made out to be a whore, or whatever adjective you want to use, but she’s the one who has to live with it. Dorit says that wasn’t her intention, but Erika says that’s the result. In her interview, Erika says she’ll have to explain it to Tom, and people would rather go for the sensationalism. Erika says it’s only funny when it dies in the moment. Maybe it’s me, but I don’t think Dorit is the one who kept it going.

Dorit says she didn’t realize and feels badly. Erika is like, now you thought about it, and tells her to apologize to Tom and then they’ll be square. Dorit says okay, but that’s not good enough, and Erika says she wants Dorit’s husband to apologize to Tom. I’m thinking Tom would either laugh about how ridiculous this is, or not care. Dorit says she can only speak for herself. She’s not going to tell PK what to do. Erika says she would go to her husband and say she did something wrong and needs help fixing it. LisaR tries to insert herself into the dialog, and Dorit tells her she’s trying to have a conversation with Erika. Eileen is practically holding Lisa back and Lisa keeps shouting for them to listen. Dorit tells her please, and Lisa just won’t shut up. Erika says this sucks. Dorit says she’s extremely sorry, and she didn’t mean to hurt Erika’s feelings, she swears on her mother’s life. Eileen says she didn’t mean it maliciously (exactly), and asks what she wants; Dorit didn’t kill her child. Erika gets all crazy about this remark and says to never bring up her kid again. Eileen says it’s just a figure of speech. Erika says Eileen’s kid doesn’t put on a uniform, and to shut the f up. Well.

Erika gets unreasonable and says no one knows what she goes through every night. Her kid isn’t out there, and f-u. Eileen keeps apologizing, and Kyle says it’s like someone took over Erika’s body. Erika keeps repeating don’t talk about her kid, and cries into her napkin. She says never criticize his choice, and bangs on the table. LisaR asks if she wants to leave, but Erika says no. Eileen tries to take a moment to honor Erika’s son, and Erika says she doesn’t want that, and neither does her son. She doesn’t want to talk about it. In her interview, she says Eileen struck a nerve. Apparently so, but Eileen should stop trying to fix it. Everyone tells her that Eileen didn’t mean it, and Erika says no one understands. Eileen says she has the utmost respect for Erika’s son. Quick analysis. Erika is one of those people who expects you to be a mind reader. She doesn’t reveal how she feels about anything, so you’re just supposed to figure it out. And Dorit is just a scatterbrain.

LisaR wants to change the subject, since she’s feeling left out. It’s her last night in Hong Kong, so her last chance to get things out. Because the world is also ending as soon as she leaves. She asks Dorit why she got left alone at the end of some dinner party at Dorit’s house. We see a quick clip of her talking to some guy at an empty table after dinner. Kyle asks what she’s insinuating, and Lisa asks if people were doing coke in Dorit’s bathroom. In her interview, Kyle thinks it doesn’t get much more offensive than this. LisaR seems drunk to me. Just sayin’. I’m also laughing because I doubt an entire table of people got up and crammed into the bathroom to do coke in 2017.

To be continued…

Next time, Dorit refers to her house a coke den, Dorit thinks LisaR acts like two different people, Erika does Young and Restless, and there’s a huge party.