Tag Archives: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dec21

December 20, 2016 – Tom Uncaged, Erika Sans Underwear & Caroline #1 Unhinged

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Elizabeth introduces Tom’s brother, Seth, to Franco. Seth hasn’t seen Tom since he stopped working at GH. He knows Franco threatened Tom, and Elizabeth asks Franco if he did anything.

Tom gets out of the cage. He tries to get the shock collar off.

Laura talks to herself, practicing a thank you speech. Doc hears her and asks if she needs a psychiatrist. She says she’s trying to come up with something coherent to say to the committee. He says the meeting is just a formality for her joining the hospital board. He suddenly realizes she’ll be his boss. Well, kinda, but not really. That’s still Monica.

Anna flashes back to someone whistling the song that Valentin taught Charlotte. She asks Charlotte if she can tell her anything more about the song, like how Valentin learned it.

Lulu tells Dante she has no intention of giving Charlotte back.

The alarms next to Hayden’s bed go off. She’s not breathing.

Tom finally gets the collar off and kicks some things around. He tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

Seth says Franco came over to his house, which is breaking and entering, never mind the assault. He says that Tom always answers his texts, and unless he gets some answers, he’s going to the police. Code blue is called, and Elizabeth jets. Franco says he’s sorry he resorted to violence, since violence is almost never the answer, but on the other hand, can Seth blame him for wanting to protect Elizabeth? Seth says he can’t.

Lulu asks Charlotte to come sit with her and Dante. Charlotte wants to stay with Emma, but Anna convinces her to go. Emma asks why Anna keeps asking about the song, and she says she just thinks she’s heard it before. She asks how she and Charlotte are getting along. Emma says they had fun, but she feels sorry for Charlotte because she hasn’t seen her mommy in a long time.

Lulu suggests that she and Charlotte look at the Christmas decorations, but Charlotte says she did that already. Lulu asks if she’d like to go to their house, but she says she wants to go home. This is going well.

Laura says she can separate her personal and professional life. Lucy comes along and congratulates Laura on being on the board. She mentions that Laura will be Doc’s boss.

Finn uses the defibrillator on Hayden. He screams at Hayden to start fighting, but nothing happens. Elizabeth tells Finn it’s been too long, but he refuses to quit. Her pulse comes back. Elizabeth says there might be complications, but Tracy thinks she’ll probably come back more irritating than she was before. Finn tells Hayden not to make a liar out of Tracy. He asks her to come back for him. He thinks they have a chance to “you know,” and says they have unfinished business. He says, sweetheart, come back to me, and Hayden opens her eyes. She asks if he just called her sweetheart.

Seth tells Franco if he finds out that Tom met with foul play, he’ll be the first stop. Franco says maybe he’s out on a bender, and thinks Seth should be more concerned that Tom is out causing trouble.

Tom yells his head off while the music continues to play. He digs around until he finds a paint scraper. He tries to open the door with it.

Lucy tells Laura not to play favorites just because she and Doc are in love. She steers Laura toward the meeting, babbling about what Laura needs to know.

Anna tells Emma that Charlotte has her father too, but Emma says Anna doesn’t like him. She tells Anna that Charlotte loves her father. Emma is starting to remind me of a young Margaret O’Brien.

Lulu asks if Charlotte wants to go ice skating, but she repeats that she wants to go home. Dante suggests that she help them decorate the tree, but that’s also a no. Valentin walks in and Charlotte runs to him.

Hayden wants to know why everyone’s looking at her. Tracy says she died, and Finn says just a little. She says she must be in hell, but Elizabeth says it’s just GH. She talks about seeing a white light, and when they all go, really? she says no. Ha-ha! Tracy tells her that Elizabeth helped save her, and Hayden says she guesses they’re even now. Elizabeth leaves to do nurse stuff. Finn says he was so afraid he’d die on her, he never thought of her dying on him.

Seth tells Franco that Tom still has bad impulses. Franco says he’s done some bad things, but there’s someone in his life who inspires him now, and he’s going to keep trying. Seth says maybe Tom will meet someone like that, but Franco says he already has, and he’s not going to do anything to risk losing her because of someone like Tom. He suggests Seth go home, and says Tom will probably show up by tomorrow. After he’s gone, Elizabeth tells Franco that she heard what he said and hugs him. She says Hayden almost died, and she realizes how much time she’s wasted.

Tom has no luck getting the door open, but is able to stop the music. He screams for help.

Emma asks why Anna doesn’t like Charlotte’s dad. Anna says she just has a couple of questions about him because he’s a mystery she needs to solve. Emma says she can go on a playdate to Windemere and get her some answers. Already a budding spy like her parents.

Charlotte asks Valentin if they’re going home. He says he needs to talk to Lulu and asks her to sit at another table. Lulu asks why he’s there, and he says Nina was concerned that she might not return Charlotte. She says Charlotte is her daughter too, and he’s interfering with their time together. He tells Lulu that they have to come up with an equitable way to share her. He goes back to Charlotte, and Lulu tells Dante that he’s playing games. She says she’s going to take Charlotte and run. Dante is like, bad idea, and she says she’s going to fight for full custody.

Finn tells Hayden that her organs are shutting down, and Hayden asks how they stop that. He says he has an idea but needs more information. He thinks he’s discovered a cure, but if it doesn’t cure her, it could kill her.

Anna tells Emma that under no circumstances is she to spy on Charlotte and her father. She’ll get answers herself without Emma’s help. She says Emma isn’t going to Windemere without supervision either. Valentin comes over to introduce himself to Emma, and asks if she’d like to help Charlotte eat some cookies. She goes off to join Emma, and Valentin tells Anna he hopes Emma and Charlotte can be friends despite how she feels about him. Anna says that’s fine, and he’s lovely with his daughter. She asks him about the song and if it has lyrics. He says they’re in Russian, and asks if she speaks it. She says he already knows she does.

Dante tells Lulu that she should rethink fighting for full custody. He says Charlotte barely knows her.

Elizabeth doesn’t want to keep herself at a distance, and end up thinking what might have been. She tells Franco that she doesn’t want to waste any more time not trusting him. Franco says if she really ever wants to talk about his past, that’s fine. She says he’s changed and so has she. They kiss. He says he has to go, and she says that’s the story of her life. He tells her that he wants Christmas to be perfect, but Elizabeth says that she’ll settle for peaceful and uninterrupted. He says he’ll make her believe in Santa again. Ho-ho-ho.

Tom continues to holler. He says nobody is going to help him. He picks up a chair and puts it down again, sitting in it.

Finn tells Hayden that he was going to test the cure on himself, but she needs it more. She asks if he can make more of it, and he says probably. He says they need to make a decision now, because if she flatlines again, she won’t make it back a second time. She asks what happens to him, and he says they’ll figure it out. He asks if she wants to take the chance.

Laura tells Lucy that her first act will be to secure the funds for the Nurses Ball. Lucy says for once a board member with the sense God gave a goose. She tells them to get back to what they were doing before her interruption, and if anyone can handle an employee romance, it’s them. Doc tells Laura that he’d put her on the spot when he told her he loved her, and wonders if they can just continue to move forward She says she doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Dante tells Lulu that it’s too early to fight for full custody, and they should see how it goes. She says she can’t let a murderer raise her daughter. Dante says to look at it from Charlotte’s perspective. If Lulu takes away her father, she’s not going to score any points.

Valentin and Anna discuss speaking Russian. Valentin tells Anna that the phrase he learned as, “Don’t give up” really translated to “Hold your tail as a weapon.” She seems to recognize this, but doesn’t say anything.

Elizabeth asks Hayden how she’s doing. Hayden says she’s just in time to say good-by before Finn gives her what could be a miracle drug or a lethal injection.

Franco gets back, and Tom has returned to the cage. He tells Tom that Santa came early for him this year; he’s letting him go. I would not trust Tom as far as I could kick him, and I think he probably has a weapon.

Laura says ever since Doc said he loved her, she hasn’t been able to think of anything else. She wakes up with a happy feeling for no other reason. She says she finds herself smiling throughout the day. She doesn’t know if it’s the right time, but she can’t hold back anymore – she loves him too. He tells her he loves her and they kiss. Lots of that happening today. She realizes she’s going to be late, and Doc says go get ‘em.

Dante says if Lulu wants what’s best for Charlotte, she’ll wait and let Charlotte spend time with her. Anna comes to get Dante. Valentin tells Charlotte to say good-by to Lulu and thank her. She hugs Lulu and runs off. Valentin tells Lulu that he’s sorry that they got off to a rough start.

Anna tells Dante that she’s certain she’s crossed paths with Valentin before, and it has to be when she was training for the WSB

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte will know her as her mother sooner than he thinks. She’s suing for full custody.

Franco tells Tom that after talking to Elizabeth, he wondered what he’s doing and that it’s wrong. Tom deserves to be punished, but it’s not Franco’s job. He tells him to leave Elizabeth alone and they can get on with their lives. He unlocks the cage and Tom gets out. He grabs Franco from behind and puts a cloth over his nose and mouth.

Elizabeth tells Hayden they’ll fight like the sisters they are for the rest of their lives. Tracy says it’s no fun putting her in her place when she’s down, so she has to fight to get better. Hayden tells Finn that if she makes it, she’ll never let him go. He says he’ll find a way to keep going and kisses her.

Tracy and Elizabeth watch as he gives her the shot.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Jason what he knows, Tom turns the tables on Franco, and Heather wonders why Elizabeth would be visiting her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR is going to NYC to visit one of her daughters who’s starting a modeling career.

Kyle is also there with her daughter Sophia. She goes to the city often, and rotates who she brings along, but says Sophia is most like her. They both have so much anxiety about everything, I’m surprised they can handle it.

LisaV visits Dorit with Harrison. She’s planning Ken’s next birthday, and wants some help in finding a gift. Last year, she got him a mini pony, but I think it was really for her. Dorit says Lisa brings out the fun in her, and they’re two peas in a pod.

Erika has some shows coming up and is also working on a new video. She comes to rehearsal and watches what the dancers have been working on so far. Her assistant gives her the schedule of the million things that need to be dealt with.

Dorit and LisaV go to a jewelry store to look at watches. Lisa sets Harrison on the counter and wipes his nose with her dress. Celebrities! They’re just like us! The clerk doesn’t bat an eye. Lisa is shown an over-blinged almost-a-million dollar, watch, but says if she buys it, she’ll have nothing left over for shoes. The perfect watch is found. Lisa likes Dorit because she isn’t super sensitive.

Kyle is opening a store in NYC since she did so well in the Hamptons. She takes a look at the space. LisaR joins her. Lisa says it’s a great area. It’s on the Upper East Side and Kyle says they’ll have to sell a lot of dresses to pay the rent. Truth! Kyle wants Harry to help out with some shelf-building. In her interview, Lisa explains that he’s handy that way, being too cheap to hire someone. Lisa says that Kyle will have to get in line, because everyone wants a piece of Harry.

LisaR talks to Kyle about making up with LisaV. Kyle says it’s good that LisaV said she wants to move on. In her interview, Kyle says that the things she’s gone through with LisaV are small in comparison with what went on with LisaR, but she thinks it’s all going to be put in a box and put away. In other words, swept under the rug.

Dorit’s baby has to wear a headband due to sleeping too much on one side and flattening her skull. (!) Dorit says she loves her kids, but depends on her nannies who are an extension of her. Her son arrives back from speech therapy. She’d started getting concerned when at 2, he wasn’t making an effort to speak. She’s worried that she’s not seeing as much progress as she’d like. He does want to drive the car though, so maybe he’s not as behind as she thinks. She says it would be easier to get Boy George to date women than negotiate with a two-year-old. Another truth!

Eileen and Vince are going to her mother’s house for a final good-by. In her interview, Eileen chokes up, talking about how when her mother first started struggling with dementia, she was aware of it and afraid. They look at family photos. She says in some ways, it’s a relief that her mother isn’t suffering anymore. The house has been sold, and she says it’s a certain finality in saying good-by to everything that was her mother. She says closing the door to the house is symbolic of closing the door to her mother’s physical existence on earth, but she’s still there in spirit. I so understand and empathize with how she feels, as I had a similar experience when my father passed away, although he died suddenly and had no lingering illness.

LisaR says a part of her wants to reach out to Yolanda, but she screwed it up, and has to live with it. We flash back to all that. She’s meeting with some of her daughter’s modeling people. They discuss Delilah’s career and her manager thinks she’s on the fast track. Lisa talks about her labor pains and how big Delilah’s head was when she was born. Delilah is embarrassed and so am I. She talks about everyone thinking Delilah was deformed and Harry asking for a hat. Some photos are taken.

Harrison! Tiny ponies! Giggy! When are LisaV and Ken going to adopt me? Lisa gives Ken his present, and we flash back to the birthday parties she’s thrown for him. This year, it’s just going to be the two of them. He loves the watch. It is pretty nice. She says the greatest gift she’s given Ken is the children…and a bj in the car. They compare Giggy and Harrison’s hair loss. Lisa says Harrison went from the pound to a palace. Really, I won’t take up much space. They’ll never even know I’m there.

Lisa is looking for an apartment for Max. She says before they help their children, they like them to struggle first. She’s seen him live in a grubby place, so now it’s time for a surprise. She says he’s worked hard and deserves to live better now. I like this idea. Everyone should have the experience of living on their own for a while, whether they have to or not.

Kyle meets LisaR for dinner with their girls. Lisa says they’re still like 2 and 3 in her mind. She’s leaving them by themselves for two nights, and she’s a little worried. She says the worst that could happen is they disappear, which would be pretty bad. Kyle asks what they have planned, since it’s not like they can go to clubs. The girls just look at each other and say of course not.

Delilah checks out a dating app and freaks at who she’s matched with. She explains to LisaR that you can’t even get on it without being special. Obviously, it’s not Tinder. Lisa wants to know how much she paid for it. Kyle thinks it’s sketchy at only nine bucks a month. Lisa explains she has to go to QVC and wants to be told everything is going to be okay. She says no dating app stuff while she’s gone. Kyle suggests no dates in the city.

Eileen feels like she can’t focus, so it’s time for some therapy. She tells her therapist that it’s almost embarrassing to have lost so many people and having to keep sharing the information. The therapist asks if there’s a limit on how many people are allowed to die. Eileen lists all the people close to her who have passed away recently, and it’s a lot. She can’t understand why she feels the way she does. She talks about the disconnect between her parents, and says she was embarrassed that her parents didn’t get along when she was younger. The therapist says her knee-jerk reaction to things is shame. Interesting. She tells Eileen to stop trying to make things okay for everyone else. Eileen wants to work on being in the moment with what she’s feeling, and if she knew how much I hate that term, she wouldn’t use it in order to make everything okay. That’s my knee-jerk reaction from having heard it in acting school every five minutes.

Kyle calls Mauricio who’s in Mexico. She’s getting ready for a white party. Isn’t that racist? She calls LisaV with a fashion emergency – she needs nude-colored underwear because the white ones are showing through her jumpsuit. Some of the group gathers for a kiki before the party. Kyle tells them they’ve cast Alicia Siverstone to play her mother in the new show about her early life. Erika talks about her upcoming gig on The Young and the Restless. She’s praying she doesn’t disappoint Eileen. LisaV talks about her early acting career, and Ken suggests they were silent films. Erika is slightly taken aback and Ken says it’s just British humor. Erika says lets all put on British accents and insult each other, but PK says they don’t see it that way; it’s self-depreciation. Dorit thinks Americans should chill out and Erika reminds her she was born in Connecticut.

Dorit talks about how poised Erika is, and Erika says she’s guarded when she first meets people. LisaV explains that Kyle needs underwear, but Erika says she doesn’t have any. Why should she break up a beautiful design with a pantyline? I catch PK trying to take a look. Erika claims that she’s actually a shy introvert, but Dorit’s not buying it. They all leave for the party.

PK and Dorit discuss the party the next day. PK says the scenery was good, referring to Erika not wearing underwear. He says he couldn’t help but notice early on. Dorit says she doesn’t know if Erika deliberately flashed, but she doesn’t blame PK for being a man. He tells her about how distracting it was. Dorit says that she would never put on a free show like that, but thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, so she’s going to approach her about the whole thing. That ought to be good.

Next time, LisaR does her QVC thing, Dorit complains about Erika, and Erika receives a gift of underwear.

✈ A note on Ladies of London – the British highborn – they curse just like us! Caroline #1 refuses to be told what to do (i.e. have some manners), and leaves Mapperton early. Juliet leaves with her because she’s a brownnoser loyal. Julie seems to think a title intimidates Caroline. I think it’s way more than that, although I can’t fathom being intimidated by a title. It’s not like anybody works to get one. My husband is a marquis. You know what it’s gotten us? Nothing. And rightly so. Although I would like a nice castle…

I have to mention too, how much I like Caroline #2. She’s a little hippie-dippy, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so endearingly sincere, especially on a reality show.

 

 

Dec7

December 6, 2016 – Secrets Abound on GH, Below Deck Ends, Beverly Hills Begins & Ladies of London Gets an Honorable Mention

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly he couldn’t find the gifts. She tells him he was looking on the wrong side of the bed.

Michael asks Nell if they’re still on for the gala, which he just asked her to five minutes ago. Kiki walks into the office.

In the parking garage, Jason peels the name off the side of the van. Underneath, it says Derek Wells Media, which is Julian’s company. The light bulb comes on over Jason’s head.

Alexis tells Julian that he’s blackmailing her, but he calls it tough love. She sarcastically tells him his concern for the greater good is one of his finest qualities. He tells her that the ethics committee is the least of her concerns. Jordan has been nosing around about the hit and run. Alexis finds it ironic that he’s threatening to involve police. Sam sees Alexis in Julian’s room and asks her what she’s doing there.

Charlotte tells Santa that she wants her mommy for Christmas. She and Lulu lock eyes. Laura asks if Lulu found Rocco’s Christmas list. She asks who the little girl is, and Dante tells her. He asks if Lulu has met her. She says no, she hasn’t.

Carly digs the gifts out from under the bed and goes back downstairs. Sonny looks at the photo of them together and then at the necklace.

Michael tells Kiki that Nell agreed to come to the Toys for Tots benefit with him. Kiki says she’s there to pick up her final paycheck. Michael wonders what happened, and Kiki tells him that she and Carly came to an understanding. Michael tells her good luck with whatever’s next, and tells Nell he’ll text her with the details. When he leaves, Kiki is like, you and Michael?

Carly is on her phone, and tells Sonny that for a season of love and good cheer, people can be very demanding. This is a surprise? Sonny suggests Olivia take some of the load. Carly says she’ll be sure to tell Olivia that it was his idea.

Curtis tells Jason that this could mean a few things, and they kick around a few scenarios. They decide to damage the van and then pretend to be concerned, responsible citizens who want to pay for the damage. Jason bashes the van with a crowbar.

Julian tells Sam that he asked Alexis to come. Sam asks what reason Alexis could have for seeing the man who tried to kill her.

Valentin introduces Charlotte to Rocco and they go off for cookies. He tells Dante and Lulu that their children have taken a shine to each other. Lulu doesn’t look pleased.

Michael stops by Sonny’s and they talk about celebrating Christmas early with Josslyn. Carly thanks Sonny for helping her, and he thanks her for coming by. Michael asks Carly if she can spare Nell on the 12th.

Nell tells Kiki that there’s nothing going on between her and Michael. She thinks he just took pity on her and wanted her to have a night out. Kiki says he’s thoughtful and starts to say something else, but stops. She tells Nell that they had a brief relationship, but they broke up because she hurt him and she went back to Morgan. She says she was keeping a huge secret from him.

Dante tells Valentin to back off, but Nina says this is for the kids. Laura thinks that Nina should ask Valentin to leave, but Doc suggests radical acceptance. He says that you can’t control the situation, but you can control your attitude and where you put your focus. Lulu talks to Charlotte. She starts asking Charlotte questions, but Nina says the only question Charlotte should be answering is what she wants for Christmas.

Alexis tells Sam that she thought it might be her last chance to tell Julian to go to hell. Sam says now that she knows Julian is going to live, can they go? Alexis says they’re done, and she and Sam leave. In the hallway, Sam asks Alexis if she’s all right. Alexis says she’s somewhere between yay he’s out of her life, and at least he didn’t hold a knife to her throat. Sam says she has the feeling there’s something else. Alexis says she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she’s done with Julian. Sam goes down in the elevator.

Laura steers Santa to the kids. Nina says if Lulu and Dante have a problem with Valentin, fine, but it doesn’t give them the right to interrogate his daughter. Valentin says he loves Charlotte the same way they love their children. He suggests a playdate and Dante is like, no. Nina wants to get Valentin and Charlotte some hot chocolate, and they leave together. Dante asks Lulu what’s up with that?

The driver shows up and asks Jason and Curtis if they’re the idiots who messed up the van. They claim they were arguing over a Bill’s game and it got out of control. The driver says his boss is going to be mad, and they’re going to have to pay for it. Curtis says they want to talk to him about his boss, and asks if it’s Julian.

Michael explains about taking Nell to the gala, and Carly thinks it’s a fine idea. She leaves, and Michael asks Sonny about her visit. Sonny says he doesn’t know what she’s feeling, and Michael says it looks like a start of the thaw. Sonny asks if Michael is interested in Nell.

Nell asks what secret Kiki kept from Michael. Kiki says it had to do with their parents, but Michael deserves someone who treats him better than she did. Nell gives her the check, and says that Kiki is taking it well. Kiki says it was time to leave. Nell says it would be understandable if there were hard feelings.

Kiki says she has no hard feelings. She asks Nell if she told Carly about their conversation regarding her breaking up with Morgan. Nell says she didn’t say anything, and Kiki tells her that both Carly and Michael knew about her plans and were furious at first, but now they’re being kind. They’ll never forget though, and she doesn’t blame them. She says the loss and hurt stay with you. Nell agrees.

Michael tells Sonny that he and Nell are just friends. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t take better care of Sonny, but Nell pinch-hit and he wants to return the favor.

The driver thinks Curtis and Jason are cops because they’re asking about Julian. Curtis says his partner is crazy and took his anger out on the van with a tire iron. Jason says he used to do what he was told. but one morning woke up with a chip in his brain, and now gets urges to hit something or someone until the voices go away. He suggests the driver tell them what he knows about Julian.

Julian says, back so soon? to Alexis and she tells him drop dead. He says had she hit someone else, they might not be so understanding. He says he’s not trying to extort anything from her (no, just her time and emotion) or have her do criminal acts; he just wants her to help him.

Laura tells Santa he has a five-minute break and closes the door. He asks what she’d like for Christmas. She wonders if it’s cliche to say world peace. He says that’s out of his league. She says peace of mind then, and he says he can work with that. She asks what’s going on with Charlotte. He tells Laura that she’s well-adjusted considering the upheaval. Laura says she also adores her father, and has no idea what Valentin is capable of.

Valentin and Nina have taken Charlotte to Kelly’s. Nina has Charlotte go to pick out a cookie, and Valentin thanks Nina for her interception. She says he could have held his own with Lulu. He says when someone puts that much energy into not liking you, you have to walk on egg shells. Nina wonders why Lulu wants to get so involved, and says they have to protect Charlotte.

Sam and Molly enter Kelly’s. Sam sees Valentin and stops short. She tells Molly who Valentin is.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, something came over her. She was immediately drawn to her and can’t explain it. Dante says he thinks he can.

Carly tells Nell sorry she’s late and that it’s been a stressful day. She says she went to see Sonny. Nell asks how he seemed, and Carly says distracted. She tells Nell that she gave her the night off for the gala, and she’s glad Michael has a friend like her.

Michael thinks Sonny and Carly’s relationship is getting better, and that Carly came there to see him, no matter what excuse she gave. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re back together, and she doesn’t want to punish him for something he didn’t do.

Dante tells Lulu that Charlotte has been bounced around like a pinball. Lulu says that she also recently found out they lost their chance to have another child. Dante tells her that she’s a caring person and Charlotte has been through a lot, so her instincts kicked in; she wants to protect Charlotte. Lulu says she’s sure he must be right, but I’m not buying that she believes it.

Valentin tells Nina how lovely she looks. He mentions that she said “we” need to take care of Charlotte. She apologizes for the presumption, but he says it means the world to him. Nina tells him that she’s completely taken with Charlotte and her adorableness. She says it’s no secret that she wants a child, but this has nothing to do with that; she wants what’s best for her. Valentin says he’s thanking his lucky stars. He could have easily walked past Nina the night they met in the hotel. There was something about her though. She’s charming and beautiful, but it’s more than that. Most people have an agenda, but she’s honest about who she is and what she wants, and he likes her.

Outside Kelly’s, Molly tells Sam that she wants to give Valentin a piece of her mind. Sam says he’ll just say it’s a misunderstanding and besides, they have their own family issues to deal with. She tells Molly that Alexis was visiting Julian, and she’s not believing the reason. She thinks Alexis still has a soft spot for him.

Alexis asks Julian what he wants help with. He says he’ll need it when he gets home from the hospital, and she says they have nurses for that. He says he’ll need help with things like shaving, brushing his teeth, and showering. Um…I think they do that too. Alexis asks if this is his ultimate form of punishment, for her to spend every waking hour with him. He says she didn’t used to feel like that, and she says holding a knife to someone’s throat ruins a relationship. He tells her that if anyone finds out she’s the one who hit him, she won’t only lose her license, she’ll lose her freedom.

Jason wants to know what happened the night of the bomb. The driver says it was his assignment to park there. His boss Julian told him to do it.

Nell asks if Carly is worried about Sonny. Carly says there’s something on his mind, and now that she knows he’s not responsible for Morgan’s death… Nell says she thinks they belong together. Nell’s phone rings. It’s Sonny. He tells Nell they need to talk.

Doc tells Laura that Valentin might have been right in saying they’ll always be connected. He says Charlotte is Nicholas’s cousin. Laura says Nicholas is gone, and there’s no more connection. She adds that as much as she hates being involved with Valentin, part of her feels compelled to look out for Charlotte because she is Nicholas’s family, making her part of Laura’s family as well. Doc says she has amazing generosity of spirit and it’s one of the reasons he loves her. A kid bangs on the door saying Santa’s break is over.

Dante asks if Lulu is okay. She says it’s something about Charlotte, and then says never mind.

Nina tells Valentin that she was thinking about Charlotte’s Christmas wish. She says not even a purple unicorn can make up for missing your mother. He says between them, they can make a fine Christmas for her. I’d love to see some kind of A Christmas Carol story with this bunch.

Molly thinks maybe Alexis can get some closure in seeing Julian. Sam says Julian is a narcissist who is encouraged by any attention. Molly says it’s better than Alexis starting to thaw (theme for today). Sam hopes that Alexis knows what she’s doing.

Julian asks Alexis if they have a deal. Alexis says fine. She says no one will believe it though, since everyone knows how much she hates his guts, but he says she can make something up. She says she’s figured it out and they have a deal. That was fast.

Curtis tells Jason that the psycho act was great. The driver is most likely in Canada by now. Jason says he’s probably more worried about Julian than him. Jason says it won’t take long for Julian to figure things out, and Curtis says Julian planted the bomb in his own car. Just in case we haven’t been paying attention.

Tomorrow, Anna asks Andre for help, Lulu wants to know why she feels so strongly about Charlotte, and a gathering happens on Spoon Island.

Below Deck

I’ve decided Ben is kind of an a-hole, which is too bad because I liked him up until now. Anyone who blames someone else for how they act is just, no.

Kate complains to Ben about the stews taking breaks before their work is done. Sierra gets offended because anyone born after 1985 gets offended by just about anything. Kate says it isn’t that they don’t have an amazing team, she just wants them to hit it out of the park for the last charter. When the guests leave, the boat has to look perfect. Ben thinks Kate should be more respectful of people’s breaks. By that I assume he means Emily’s breaks.

Dawn and her guests are doing the snorkeling thing. Nico and Kyle just want to get finished. Kyle says Sierra is an idiot, and Nico points out that he thought she was cool before he found out that she wasn’t into him. Lauren and Kyle talk about hating the job until it’s over; then they love it. In her interview, Lauren says no matter how much they bicker, the crew really loves each other. Um…I dunno about that. Nico says Sierra and Kyle’s fight has nothing to do with him, the same way his altercations with Kate have nothing to do with Kyle, who thinks Kate is awesome.

Sierra has to get a hug from Emily because, see above. She thinks Kate is just looking for things to criticize them about. Emily and Ben chat about finally getting sprung. In her interview, Emily says they’ll see how it goes, as far as having a relationship on the outside. Ha-ha! I’m making it sound like they’re in jail.

Kate encourages Ben to have the food ready when the guests get back. He disagrees, saying they usually want to have a shower and cocktail first. He asks Emily what she thinks because she has so much experience. Emily doesn’t really want to get involved. Ben tells Kate that he’s the chef and calling the shots. He claims he has a valid reason. Kate tries to talk, but he says he’s going to do what he wants anyway. See what I mean?

The guests get back. They’re hungry. Kate tells Ben they’re starving. Captain Lee announces only 16 more hours left. Kate brings out the food and Dawn asks if the captain would like to join them for dinner. Kate tells Ben to keep the food coming. In his interview, Ben says Kate used to be a pleasure to work with. Kate tells the captain about the guests requesting his presence.

Kelley says they’ve grown as a team and now it’s over. He says they’re a highly dysfunctional family, but they’re a family. They promise to all keep in touch. Yeah, we all know how that goes.

Sierra asks Kate if she thinks they’re not working hard enough. Kate tells her about the lack of toilet paper in the guest bathrooms, which I agree is a huge no-no. She says she’s always given them compliments and doesn’t want to finish on a negative note. She mentions that she isn’t taking a break either. She thinks maybe Sierra needs to talk about something, but Sierra says no. Had your chance.

OMG – dinner! Clams or something. It looks amazing. And shrimp! The captain joins the guests. The guests fire questions at him. I find out that he has five children and is from Michigan. Kate compliments Ben on the calamari. She says she never knows which Ben she’s going to get and he says he’s 50 shades of Ben. Ha-ha! Everyone is happy for the moment. Dessert! Kyle says Ben and Kate either hate or love each other and it’s confusing. Kate tells Ben the worst day with him is better than the best day with some of the other chefs.

Kyle asks if Sierra had a mental breakdown. Kate says she tried to be nice, but felt disrespected. Kyle says he prefers to talk face to face, and doesn’t understand why the stews are so defensive with her. In his interview, Kyle says Kate had his back from day one. Kate says she’s done nothing to Nico and Lauren to warrant them talking behind her back, and they have no business questioning her decisions. She tells Kyle she doesn’t need to hear what the one stripe people think. Oh, snap.

Two hours and twenty-six minutes. Ben says he’s mentally moved on and is already in his apartment. The guests are the only ones who don’t want to leave. The captain thinks the Kelley/Nico team has done well.

The final meal! The blue water! The Jacuzzi! Sierra and Lauren gossip about Kate. Zzzzz….

Anchor is dropped and the ship docks. The guests are ready to go. Good-bys are said. Dawn gets emo with the captain who just wants it to be over. He tells everyone to head for the crew mess. This charter’s tip is 16K. The crew has made a total of $13,500 in tips all season. Captain Lee tells the crew to get the boat in better shape than when they got it.

Kate talks to Lauren and Nico. She says she’s heard what they said about how she’d tattled on them to the captain, but the captain found their mess all on his own. She says she had their back and doesn’t rat out the crew. However, she doesn’t appreciate giving them permission to use the boat and them turning the tables. Nico gets pissed and leaves. Lauren apologizes. In her interview, Kate says she’s disappointed. She says at least talk to her face. Nico complains to Kelley who’s staying out of it.

Ashley shows up, and everyone gets ready to go out. The girls all look super cute. Ben wants to make amends with Kate, since she’s a great friend of his and they’re not working together anymore.

The crew goes to a restaurant and begins to drink. The food looks excellent, and I eat vicariously. Ben and Kate step aside to talk. Emily wonders wtf? She tells Sierra it’s confusing. She doesn’t know where they stand or where she stands with Ben. Sierra suggests she give him a chance and get to know him. She also thinks that Emily should say something.

Sierra asks Ben about his relationship with Kate. He says there’s no need to diagnose it. In his interview, he says now Emily is in the middle of all the emotion, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He asks Emily if she wants him to hate Kate forever, and says he’ll be mean to Kate just for her. He says that he and Kate are better off as friends than colleagues, and she brings out a person he doesn’t want to be. He was hoping that Emily had a better grasp of the situation. What I think is that Ben is in love with Kate, and his attraction to Emily has become a problem. Not to mention, Kate is in a relationship.

Kyle comes thisclose to telling Ashley that she completes him. He wants to take things up a notch. He asks Kate for a ring. She’s wearing one that she says is worth two thousand bucks and he says he’ll give her a thousand. Deal. He says he’s proposed once before, but she threw the ring at him the same night. He takes Ashley aside and gets down on one knee. She says yes. Everyone cheers.

Ben acts rude to Kate. She asks if he’s okay. He’s obviously angry. She gives him a drink and he guzzles it. He tells her he doesn’t like working with her anymore. What a jerk he’s become. I hope Emily dumps him, but she’s kind of stupid, so maybe he deserves her. He tells Kate that they’re better off as friends. She says she doesn’t like working with him that much either. She thinks the booze is talking, and she’s tired of hearing it. He says Emily just grilled him about their relationship. Kate tells him that he’s rude, and in her interview, she says that he’s so self-destructive, it’s embarrassing.

Back at the boat, Ashley and Kyle get the guest cabin. Ben gossips with Nico and Lauren. Idiots.

In the morning Ben approaches Kate and apologizes. He says he’s sorry if he ruined her evening. She says it’s typical. He tells her that they’ve come a long way together and he values their friendship. He says he loves her and he’ll always have her back. He asks for a hug, but in her interview, she says the friendship isn’t salvageable.

Lauren tells Nico what great friends they are. Hugs. I think she thinks they’ll still get together one day. Kate says you need a thick skin to work on a boat, and she doesn’t think Sierra has it. Sierra is proud of herself, but thinks she does need to toughen up. Nico and Kelley do the bro thing. Kyle pays Kate for the ring. She expects an invite to the wedding. Kyle can’t wait to have a proper bacon sandwich with HP sauce, which is a brown sauce kind of like Worcestershire.

Kelley tells Kate that he tried to emulate her. In her interview, she thinks he did an amazing job. Kelley talks to the captain, saying he tried to redeem himself, and thinks he did better. I’m not sure by Captain Lee’s face if he’s in agreement, but he says Kelley has progressed incredibly. Kelley is shocked and so am I, and he thanks the captain for his help. Captain Lee says he’d love to work with him again, and Kelley thanks him for the second chance.

Ben apologizes to Emily. He says he felt like a bit of a d*ck. That’s because he was, and more than a bit of. He says she’s the last person he’d want to insult, and he thinks she’s special. In her interview, she says that she’ll give him another chance, but be wary. They kiss. Ben leaves with the flowers and leaves them on the deck so that everyone can trip over them.

In his interview, Ben says that Emily probably hates him, but he’s going to try to make a go of it. She takes a rose out of the flowers. Ben says being in a relationship and doing his job was probably more than he could chew, but he did it, and was a solid seven. By my estimation, he was more like a shaky three.

Kate says good by to the captain. As she leaves, he tells her that she still looks like a guest more than the chief stew.

Captain Lee says this season was tough. We flash back to some of the highlights. He says the bottom line is that the guests left happy and they made a ton of money. Without a doubt, he has the best damn job in the world.

This was the finale. They usually have a reunion, but as of the last one, hadn’t been elevated out of the clubhouse yet.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle’s closet is everything. LisaV calls. They’re planning on meeting at PUMP, and Kyle jokes as to whether they allow the wearing of Birkenstocks (at least I think she’s joking), and asks who’s going to be there. She doesn’t know the couple, but says Boy George loves them. Kyle is friendly with him and says everybody knows everybody in Beverly Hills.

Erika discusses her new song with husband Tom. It’s at number eight, and she says her career is growing. He says he wants to give her a birthday present early. She’s have a big blowout for her 45th. In her interview, she jokes (again, I’m not positive) that it’s all downhill from here. I have news for her. That’s 55 when the slide starts. Tom says she has things for her fingers and ears, but he’s giving her something for her eyes. A Chagall. Eh. It’s okay. She asks if it’s hers or theirs since Chagall is one of his favorites. To be on the safe side, he gives her something else. He gives her an envelope. She asks if it’s a legal doc, but inside there’s a picture of a Cartier panther ring that he has on order.

Harrison! With LisaV, but where’s my Giggy? Giggy! Ken has him. Harrison is a rescue that Lisa is having a passionate affair with. New Housewife Dorit and her husband PK join them at PUMP, along with Kyle and Mauricio. Dorit’s husband is a talent manager who manages Boy George. Dorit says he’s been living with them for a while and is like her gay husband. She tells the group about how she met her husband.

Kyle brings up Erika’s birthday party. Lisa talks about how she and Dorit first met. They talk about Dubai. Ken says he felt like he was there from all the weepy phone calls he got from Lisa. In her interview, Lisa talks about how miserable she was during the trip, being grilled by LisaR. She says that LisaR was unusually aggressive, and Eileen backed her up. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV hangs on to things a long time, but doesn’t think she’s losing any sleep over it.

Harry brings LisaR a new car. It has one of those bows on it. She says this year is about having a good time. Last year was kind of negative. Her father passed away recently and it changed her outlook on everything. She says that she doesn’t have time to worry about old stuff and wants to concentrate on raising her daughters. She doesn’t have time for bullsh*t anymore. I’ll bet she lasts a whole five minutes.

Eileen meets Erika at a bar. Eileen says that Erika might have a flashy persona, but she’s a girl’s girl. Eileen lost her mother just prior to the reunion, but hasn’t really said anything about it. She tells Erika that it’s affected everything that happened last season, making it trivial. Kyle joins them. They discuss Yolanda, who says that she’s 75% better, but taking time to rest, recover, and look after herself. Kyle is working on her new TV show, and they’re deep into casting right now.

Kyle wonders if the two Lisas are going to be okay eventually. Erika says everything can be worked out if everybody wants to work it out. I guess that’s pretty much true for any conflict. Kyle says she never wants to hear bi-polar, manipulative, Munchhausen, own it, or sniper again. I agree, especially Munchhausen.

Dorit is getting her makeup done, while PK’s assistant discusses their schedule. Dorit wants to make sure there’s time for the kids. Boy George comes in. She says in their house he’s more like Uncle George, but diva does come out occasionally. They’re getting ready to do Jimmy Kimmel‘s show.

Erika is having a Studio 54 party for her birthday. Disco balls are everywhere, and there’s going to be a velvet rope with Pussy Control manning the door. We flash back to LisaV’s Poison Arrow video. Lisa says the end of the 80’s marked the end of her single life. In her interview, LisaR talks about Iman being at Studio 54, and everyone goes down 80’s Memory Lane.

LisaV and Kyle meet for a kiki at Dorit’s house. Giggy! Kyle talks about hanging out with Andy Warhol and Rick James as a kid, because her mother didn’t follow the rules.

I want to have a fabulous 80’s party just like this one, but I don’t think Tom will fund the bill for me. Erika gets crazy over everyone’s outfits. She opens her gift from Eileen. It’s a part on Eileen’s show, The Young and the Restless. Coolest. Present. Ever. Erika is worried that they’ll fire Eileen if she sucks. They talk about the soaps.

LisaV introduces Dorit. Lisa asks Tom if he’s wearing something Studio 54 under his suit. I gotta say, Tom seems like a really nice guy, and he and Erika are obviously in love. Eileen and LisaR discuss LisaV. LisaR says she’d rather be better than bitter. Yeah, we’ll see. Dorit says she considers herself a New Yorker, but she’s lived all over the place. In her interview, she says Beverly Hills is a little too much carrot juice and Botox. Agreed. She invites Erika to her upcoming birthday party.

The two Lisas meet, and the conversation is stilted. In her interview, LisaV says that LisaR changed the dynamic of their relationship, and they’d have to do a lot of work to get it back to where it was. Eileen says anything is possible. Look what happened after the Viet Nam war, everyone goes there for vacation now.

The guests mingle and dance. Mauricio talks to Tom about the plane he just bought. Tom brings out another present for Erika – her mother. Erika introduces her mom around. In her interview, Erika talks about her mother having her at 18, and her father leaving before she was one-year-old.

Eileen thinks LisaV is giving her the cold shoulder. Dorit invites Eileen and her husband to her party. Dorit is trying to figure out how Eileen is the same woman that Lisa has talked about. Everyone is starving and glad to see the cake come out. It’s cute, layered stars. LisaV says she thinks she saw a deviled egg and should have grabbed it. Erika is thrilled with the evening.

The girls dance. LisaV says that Eileen and LisaR would be happier if she wasn’t in their friend circle, but she’s coming back, stronger than ever.

Next time, Erika hires dancers, LisaV gets a horse, and Dorit’s birthday party happens.

✈ Ladies of London honorable mention. Marissa had the smallest baby ever, but all is well. Caroline #1 seems to be at odds with everyone. I think she has too much time on her hands since Gift Library closed. She needs a job or something else to occupy her. Julie is overwhelmed with running the Mapperton estate. The place is like a small village, and I don’t envy her dealing with the gift shop employees who have worked there since the earth cooled, and are less than helpful. And Caroline #2’s father is very sick with cancer. Since she’s a huge celebrity in Denmark, the press is very interested in her, and while on a trip there with Juliet, she makes the mistake of telling them about his illness when the family is quite private. We also see her OCDness in regard to beds being made correctly.

Feb10

February 9, 2016 — Doings in Port Charles, Savannah & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan pays a surprise visit to Maxie. There’s no power or heat at his place, so he’s crashing with her. Oops, so is Lulu.

Alexis and Julian are getting busy when the doorbell rings. It’s Ava.

Anna tells Paul she didn’t want to be alone. He says it poses a lot of questions that she came to see him. She says maybe she’ll have some answers.

Sam asks how Jason found her. He says he doesn’t know, maybe luck. Third wheel Elizabeth slithers in and says she thinks she knows what happened.

Lulu asks Nathan how Dante is doing. Nathan says it’s been a while since they haven’t talked about anything personal in a while. Rocco starts crying. Lulu says he’s been fussy lately and goes to tend to him. Nathan tells Maxie they should move in together, because he’s always wanted to be on Three’s Company. I made up the Three’s Company part.

Anna apologizes for the hour and asks if Paul was on his way home. He says since home is now a hotel room, there’s no rush. He says he’s still processing the visit from Dillon. He asks about her trip, but Anna says she didn’t visit Robin and she lied to him. Hmm…what is up her sleeve?

Ava gifts Julian with a sculpture. It’s actually pretty cool. She says it’s a model and the real sculpture that’s coming later is huge. She thought it would look perfect on their terrace. Gee…thanks. Alexis is stunned and not in a good way. Her phone rings. It’s Monica. Alexis asks how badly Sam is hurt.

Sam tells Elizabeth she has a concussion, but her prognosis is good. She wonders how Jason knew to even look for her. He says that she never picked Danny up. He tells her about Jake’s surgery. He tells her what Jake said when he woke up and Elizabeth begs Sam not to say anything and says they’ll get Jake help. Sam says she fell by accident and Jake didn’t do anything to her.

Julian starts talking smack about Jason, like if something happened to Sam it must be his fault, and Alexis says he was the one to rescue Sam. Alexis runs out and Ava says fearing for your child is the worst. She says other than that, things seem to be going well for Julian. She says she’d give up a lot to live his life. Julian asks if she’s admitting she’s in over her head.

Anna says she wasn’t visiting Robin in Berkeley, she was in a jail in Halifax. After some clever banter, Paul asks how she wound up there, and she says she was investigating Carrrlos.

Sam tells Elizabeth and Jason what happened, how she spoke to Franco and went to Elizabeth’s house. She found Jake with a wounded hand and the window broken, and realized Jake had thrown a rock through the window. She says she told him it would be okay, but he ran to the basement and she followed him and fell. Jason says Jake thought he’d done something wrong and that’s why he ran away. Sam says it could have been worse for all of them. Jason says she told him to trust his instincts and he’s glad he did. Sam says sorry about Elizabeth’s house. Elizabeth thanks her for not blaming Jake.

Jason tells Sam she should get rest, but she’s afraid to close her eyes. Whenever she closed them when she was in the basement, Jason disappeared. He says he’s not going anywhere. Elizabeth is all weepy when she gets out into the hallway. Too bad. You created this situation for yourself.

Maxie agrees that she and Nathan should move in together. She says they should find a place of their own though. She almost gets online to start looking, and then remembers Lulu. She says Lulu isn’t ready to find her own place and she used to live in Maxie’s apartment, so it’s like coming home for her. Maxie says they should wait until Lulu is ready. Being perfect, Nathan agrees with her — in French.

Lulu comes out wearing the coolest coral top ever. They’re all about to toast when Maxie toast to her and Nathan moving in together. Lulu drops her glass.

Julian asks Ava if she’s having second thoughts about running the organization. She says she’s worried about Avery. Julian asks how much trouble she’s in.

Anna says she knows Carrrlos is dead, but she didn’t want to believe it. She’d rather believe there was a cover-up and says she convinced Robert to go along with her fantasies. Paul asks why Halifax, and she tells him her logic, saying it was the perfect jumping off point for a clean getaway. She says Carrrlos’s death is a fact and wonders why she couldn’t convince herself that Duke was alive instead and concentrate on looking for him.

Paul is like whoa, and tells her she’s still in mourning. She says she always will be. Paul says Duke was the love of her life, but she can’t stop living. He strokes her hair.

Sam tells Jason she would have died if it wasn’t for him and thanks him. He says he’s spent too much time not remembering their life together and now he wants to begin knowing her and repaying her for what she’s done for him.

Alexis arrives at the hospital. Sam says Jason saved her, and Alexis thanks him. Alexis says he probably doesn’t remember, but she’s never been very supportive of his and Sam’s relationship. She says she is now. He says thanks and he leaves.

Sam tells Alexis while she was lying in the basement, she knew the whole time that Jason would find her. She explains a little of what happened.

Monica tells Jason that Jake should sleep through the night, but she’s going to check on him periodically.

Ava says sometimes she just wants a normal life. Julian says define normal. She says like what he’s got, home, family, marrying the person he loves. He says she can have that, but she has to make a clean break from the business. He says the choice is hers. She says it’s not.

Anna babbles on about her inadequacies and how she’s looking for a purpose in her life. Paul says he understands and tells her about his meeting with Dillon. He says he had no part in Dillon’s childhood, because he put his ambitions first. He says Tracy put Dillon first, which he’s never done with any of his children. He mentions Susan and Anna says he never talks about her.

Elizabeth hones in on Jason. She says she sees the connection between him and Sam. She says she’s watched it grow over the years and doesn’t think it’s going away. Well, if she’d thought about that months ago, we all wouldn’t be here.

Alexis is pretty freaked about the exploding house. Sam says Jason was there like always.

Elizabeth thanks Jason. He says she doesn’t have to thank him, that Jake is his son. Monica comes out and tells them both to get some rest. Jason says he’s going to stay and Monica offers a place to Elizabeth, who has to go deal with the fire department. She has a place to go, but Monica tells her the invitation is open if she changes her mind. Alexis comes out and tells Elizabeth wants to speak with her privately.

Lulu says sorry about the glass. She’s thrilled for them, but it just surprised her. She says she forgot the feeling of when she was first in love with Dante and wonders how they got so far away from it. She says she didn’t mean to turn the celebration into a pity party. She gets excited about Nathan moving in and makes Netflix plans for the evening.

Ava says she’s in a complicated situation that’s increasingly out of her control. Julian asks if she needs his help, but Alexis comes in before she can answer. Julian asks what happened and Alexis says they should have wine first. He asks if it’s that bad and she says it’s that good, Sam is alive and well because of Jason. Ava leaves.

Anna asks how Susan is and Paul says they’re not in contact. Anna says she’s taken up enough of his time. He says he has an 18-year-old bottle of scotch if she’d like to join him in a drink. She asks for a rain-check. He says his door is always open. When she gets into the hallway, Anna wonders aloud what she’s doing.

When Ava gets outside, her phone rings. She sees that it’s Paul and knows because of the hour that it must be a booty call. She tells him sorry, move on to your next blackmail victim. Paul downs the shot and throws the glass against the wall.

Sam reassures Elizabeth that Jake didn’t push her. She says she knows Jake has problems, but it was an accident. Elizabeth thanks her and she says all she did was tell the truth and that the truth matters. Since Elizabeth doesn’t know what that word means, she has to run an find a dictionary. Jason, not knowing what the word private means, comes in. Elizabeth leaves and Sam tells Jason what they talked about.

Sam asks Jason for a favor. She says her father will no doubt try to blame him, so not to listen to anything he says. He says only if she’ll return the favor by getting some rest. She says he doesn’t have to stay and he says he wants to.

Maxie tells Nathan the four of them living together will be an adjustment, but it’s what Lulu needs right now. He’s so agreeable, we know his character isn’t based on any living human being. Lulu comes down and she and Maxie chatter away on the couch while they watch a movie, with Nathan in the middle.

Paul looks at a childhood picture of his daughter.

Anna calls Mac and tells him to investigate further into Paul’s relationships with his children, especially Susan. She tells Mac that Paul was almost vulnerable when he spoke about her. As Anna leaves the bar, someone is following. While I do wonder who it is, my main question is why did Anna go from Paul’s office to the bar to make a call on her cell phone?

Elizabeth goes to her house. The fire department is there because it’s a serious mess and she can’t go inside. She finds a picture of her and Jason, and cleans it off. She wanders around looking at the chaos, equating it to the mess she’s made of her life. I don’t know if she’s really that deep, but it sounded good.

Jason asks if Sam was ever hurt because of him. She says his love has kept her alive.

Tomorrow, Nicholas and Hayden are back from Vegas and Maxie might become a star yet.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Hanna runs like crazy to the hospital with Quincy Jr. in her arms. The OR doctors ask what happened, but Hanna can’t tell them. She says he told her his stomach was hurting and then he passed out. Hanna calls on Jesus in the waiting room. I was almost going to say, for a Christian woman, she has been pretty bent out of shape for a while, but I guess that’s the point. We ain’t perfect.

Benny tells Mitch he has to go somewhere and he’ll be back in a couple of hours. Mitch says he’s tired of handling everything himself and Warlock hasn’t shown up. Benny says he has to handle something, but won’t tell Mitch what it is. Mitch notices he has a shovel in his car.

Wyatt is still prancing around in his underwear. He tells Jeffrey he’s a happy man. Jeffrey says their parents are in jail and Wyatt says it’s reason to celebrate. DA Jennifer calls and tells Wyatt he passed the drug test. She tells him Kathryn might be getting out soon, so maybe he wants to look for another place. He says he’ll be out by the morning. Wyatt shows Jeffrey the car he’s going to buy. Jeffrey isn’t impressed and Wyatt tells him to quit acting like an old guy.

Wyatt suggests they take a trip to Brazil. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to go and he doesn’t think Wyatt should either. Jeffrey says Wyatt can’t handle a lot of money and this isn’t good for him. He asks who gave him the money because no judge would have done it. Jeffrey says he cares about Wyatt. Wyatt says if Jeffrey would stop wishing Wyatt would love him, it would be better. Jeffrey says Wyatt needs to start loving himself.

Jeffrey says he’s going back to the hotel. Wyatt tells him to have them book the presidential suite for him. He puts on some loud music and jumps around on the couch like an immature maniac. Jeffrey leaves and Wyatt plays air guitar.

Benny is cleaning like a mad man when Candace comes in with more bleach. She asks what Benny did with the body. Benny says he couldn’t move the body because her neighbor was watching, so he buried Quincy in the yard. Benny tells Candace that the neighbor has cameras focused on her front door, so until the old lady croaks, she’d better be aware of that.

Benny asks if Candace found Jeffrey. She says yes and things are cool. She tells Benny he’s with Wyatt and Benny asks if Jeffrey told Wyatt about what happened. Candace says no.

Dr. Jackson tells Hanna Quincy Jr. will be fine. He tells her that Quincy Jr. has lupus and needs to take medicine for it. She says she just got custody and didn’t know. He says Quincy is in ICU. He tells her that the medicine is very expensive. He can give her some generic samples, but she’ll have to pay for them. Um…that doesn’t sound right. I’ve gotten plenty of samples in my day and also worked for a clinic for a couple of years. There should be no charge for samples. Let’s not make Hanna more broke than she is. The doctor adds that Quincy needs to be kept in a clean environment because of his asthma. Another surprise to Hanna. The doctor tells her that she can’t see him until he’s out of ICU. He tells her to go home and rest, but she says she’s going to sit there all night. Dr. Jackson says she can’t see Quincy Jr. until tomorrow, so she should at least go to work and take her mind off of things. She says she’ll be back in the morning.

Veronica is in the interrogation room. David comes in and hands the guard a wad of cash. David wants to know where Veronica is living He says they need to have trust. She refuses to tell him and he says she won’t get out until she tells him. She says he and Maggie are playing games with her. She mentions the paper. He says for that to have been printed there must be something to it. He asks again where she lives and she says with her man. She asks if it upsets him and starts telling him what she does with her man. David leaves.

Candace’s neighbor is outside when Jeffrey pulls up in a cab. She doesn’t even pretend not to be eyeballing him. There’s no answer at Candace’s and he wants the keys to his car. The neighbor asks him what his name is. She says it was a quiet neighborhood until Candace moved in. She tells him Candace is home, but she’s in there with two men. She asks if Candace is a prostitute. Jeffrey walks off and she says her son is on the police force. Yeah, we’ve met him already and he’s a real charmer just like mom.

Oscar comes to David’s office. David says he has a problem. He says he believes there’s a hit out on his wife and he needs Oscar to find out who set it up. Oscar says David has to give him something to go on. David says Mama Rose told him that Veronica shouldn’t go home. Oscar says neither should David. David says he doesn’t know where Veronica lives. David says he’s sure that Veronica wouldn’t have made it easy, and that she’s good at protecting herself. Oscar says he’ll get right on it, but to make sure Veronica doesn’t go home. David says she can’t; she’s in jail.

David gives Oscar the photo and says he also wants to know who the man is in it. Oscar says he’ll find out and leaves.

Candace, who has an amazing shoe closet, tells Benny she’s really planning on taking the bar, but she hasn’t been able to make it happen yet. She thanks him and says he always comes through for her. She says there’s one more thing she needs. She says it’s easy and he can make a lot of money. He says it’s the same old with her and that he just buried someone in the backyard. He says he’s done. Candace says she promises it’s legit.

She tells him they found out who hit him and he’s rich. She gives him the paper. He asks if it’s the same people Hanna works for. She says yes, and Hanna knew. She says if he sues them, he can get millions. Benny can’t believe that Hanna knew and didn’t tell him. Candace says Wyatt told her. Benny’s head is spinning from all he’s had to take in lately.

The police are running a check on the car Jeffrey was driving. There’s blood on it and he told them he hit a deer. The cop on the case calls Quincy’s sister, Quita (sorry, I’ve been calling her Queen), and tells her the car has been impounded. He tells her that Jeffrey got arrested driving the car. He starts asking her questions that she has no answers for, since she doesn’t even know Jeffrey. He tells her she can pick it up any time. She calls a dude named Delon and tells him to come and get her.

Candace is getting dressed. Her freaking door is wide open and she comes out of the bathroom to see Warlock sitting there. He tells her time is running out. She says she’s working on something and tells him about the lawsuit. He says she just has a week. She asks for more time and he says no. He tells her if she runs, her brother is dead. He says she lied to him and lost everything. She says they all go back to when they were kids. War says he’s never lied to her, but he’s covered for her and protected her, and he’s hurt that she lied to him. She’s no longer blood to him. He says she knows he doesn’t make threats without following through. Then he says he wants to watch her take a shower. Okay. He actually seemed like a normal thug up until then.

David comes back to the hotel. He sees a door open, and it’s Maggie in the next room. She starts to apologize and David tells her to take her clothes off. Alrighty then.

David and Maggie are having pillow talk. For whatever reason, I don’t like these two together. Maybe I’m pissed that she was so pushy and David gave in. Oh, this is nice. He just said they were foolish not to use protection and she’s not on the pill. He says he doesn’t want any more kids and she says she’ll get the morning after pill. He asks if she wants him to get it and she says what? he doesn’t trust her? He says he wouldn’t be there if he didn’t. She asks why he is there and he says he’s getting a divorce, which of course makes Maggie ecstatic.

David says he doesn’t know if this was a mistake or not. She says they enjoyed it and he says that’s not the point. He was angry and used her. She tells him to use her again. Oh brother.

Next week, David confronts Benny and Hanna confronts Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle and LisaV meet Yolanda at a place where they have cryochambers. These things are minus 140 degrees Celsius and I have no idea how this works, even though the guy is explaining it. He says they’ll come out different people. Yeah, popcicles. Lisa goes first and isn’t thrilled, but makes a bunch of jokes. Kyle is next. She says she’s freezing her ass off and the guy says that’s why Hollywood does this. Does it promote weight loss too? Sign me up!

Erika’s closet looks like a store. Her stylist is helping her get ready for her gig in San Diego. She picks up a necklace with the c-word on it that she’s bringing it special for Kathryn. Bleh. Why did she have to ruin my like of her? It’s just mean to deliberately make someone uncomfortable.

LisaR is also getting ready. She’s not sure what to expect, so she packs about three suitcases for one night.

LisaV, Kyle and Yolanda go out for lunch after getting frozen. Kyle says her knee was hurting and now it’s not, and Lisa says she does think the chambers were beneficial. Yolanda isn’t coming to San Diego because her bedtime is at 8.

Yolanda tells them about LisaR’s visit. She says she would never question someone’s illness. LisaV says that LisaR wasn’t questioning it, just repeating what someone else said. Yolanda wants to know how Kyle and LisaV contributed to the conversation and if they stood up for her. She says LisaR told her that LisaV questioned her kids having immune deficiency. LisaV repeats what she’d said, that Mohammad said the kids were fine, and Yolanda says Mohammad pays the medical bills.

Commercial break. I see we’re back to pronouncing Teresa Guidice’s name “ju-dice” again, rather than “ju-dee-chee.” Duly noted.

LisaV says from what she’s gotten from Mohammad, the kids are healthy. Yolanda pulls out the kids medical records and wants Lisa to read them, and apologize. She says what Lisa said was discrediting. I think she’s kind of going overboard with this. Lisa says all she said was that she never knew they were ill. Yolanda says she doesn’t like people talking behind her back. It wasn’t behind Yolanda’s back; it was part of a conversation that happened after she left. Kyle says she doesn’t get why they would be dragged into it. Yolanda still trues to foist the papers on Lisa, who refuses them.

Kyle and LisaV part company with Yolanda outside and continue down the street. Kyle says LisaR told her she wanted to apologize and doesn’t get why she stirred up trouble. Lisa says yeah, apologize for your own stuff.

Eileen and Kathryn are out for lunch. They make small talk. Eileen once dated Kathryn’s ex-husband, so Kathryn asks when it was. Eileen says it was before they were married in 1988. Kathryn says hmm…they were dating then too. They laugh about it though. They talk about Erika’s upcoming show.

Kathryn’s husband calls. They’re having renovations done and he’s giving her an update. Even though it’s not finished, Kathryn is having the ladies over. Kathryn is startled to find out that Eileen doesn’t buy expensive purses. Eileen said her bags are janky and she brought one that’s not even in good shape. Eileen says she feels bag pressure. I have to admit, most of my bags look better.

Erika rents a tour bus. She and her crew drink Dom Perignon from plastic cups. Her husband, Tom, is pretty busy, so he doesn’t get to all of her shows, but he checks in.

LisaV is shocked at the amount of luggage LisaR is bringing. The girls all take a limo together. LisaR says she looked up the club they’re going to and Friday night is “pervert night.” This should be good. They drink and compare shoes. Kathryn brings up Eileen’s lack of a decent purse and they talk bags.

Kyle tells them about the cryotherapy. LisaR asks about Yolanda’s health and LisaV says she’d like to know what LisaR said to make Yolanda bring her kids’ medical records to lunch. LisaR says she went to Yolanda’s to be honest about what she said, and didn’t bring up anyone else. LisaR says someone else must be talking to Yolanda. LisaV says she never mentioned Munchhausen and she wants to drop the conversation about Yolanda’s illness entirely and forever.

Erika gets body makeup eveywhere. She moves on to face makeup and Yolanda calls. She apologizes for not being able to make it, but says she’s just not ready for all that yet.

The ladies get to the hotel. Eileen goes to LisaR’s room after they’ve both gotten ready. Lisa says that she’s put things together and thinks that someone else is talking to Yolanda about LisaV, and that someone might be Erika. She says she’s going to get to the bottom of it tonight. Yeah, because this entire group loves to bring things up in the most inappropriate places possible.

Kyle’s closest friend, Lorene, meets them at the hotel. They take a limo to the club. LisaR thinks she’s being a scapegoat and she tells LisaV she’s going to find out who’s talking about her. LisaV suggests they leave it alone.

The club is hopping with a lot of leather and S&M outfits. It’s also wall to wall people, mostly gay men. Erika Jayne is introduced. It’s not my kind of music, but she’s good at what she does. The ladies enjoy it. LisaR says she could be Britney. Maybe Britney a long time from now. After the show, the ladies get on the bus. LisaR says it’s a rock star moment and she’s a rock star in her mind. Me too.

Everyone complements her one the show. Kathryn says she doesn’t like the necklace, although at first she thought it said “candy.” I don’t think LisaV is too crazy about the necklace either, but she keeps it to herself. Erika has a different definition of the word than I do, and probably every other woman I know. Erika says she’s on her turf now, not PUMP or Beverly Hills. They get to Erika’s hotel room.

LisaR tells Erika what happened with Yolanda. I can’t believe these people waste time with this stuff. She wonders who must have said something. Eileen says somebody said something, and Erika says it’s ot her. In her individual interview, she says it was her, but she doesn’t want to talk about it right now, since she’s having her shining moment. Dislike meter going up. Erika starts getting loud, causing several of the women to wonder what she’s upset about. Erika kind of points the finger back to LisaR, and in her individual interview, Lisa says perhaps Erika should start doing some owning. LisaV wonders why Erika doesn’t want to talk about it. LisaR says it’s not her job to make it okay and Erika suggests they drop it. The girls all call it a night.

In the hallway, LisaR says she doesn’t understand it and she’s not happy. The girls decide to go to bed. LisaR is having a hard time finding hers and it’s practically right in front of her. LisaV and Kyle are goofing around with the room service carts and break some dishes. How much have they had to drink? You can dress them up, but you can’t take them out.

Next week,, Adrienne Maloof meets with Kyle, Yolanda has a carnival, and as usual, there’s a big confrontation.

Dec22

December 21, 2015 — GH and a Ruling Vanderpump

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Jason and Elizabeth see each other at the gala. Elizabeth says she’ll leave, but Franco comes along and says if anyone should leave, it’s Jason. Elizabeth tells Franco he must have wanted to see her humiliated, but he says he’s probably the only one who doesn’t want to see that. Obrecht is delighted to see Franco, and tells Elizabeth it’s mandatory to attend the gala or she’ll be working a double-shift on Christmas.

Sam shows up in a Moto jacket and jeans. Maxie asks if she’s making a statement, and she says no, she just wants to get the check to Alexis and get out. Christina and Molly make stupid poses as Dillon takes pics.

Ava is looking at the stuff for the silent auction. Paul comes up behind her and says he wants to place a winning bid, but I don’t think he’s talking about the auction. She asks if he’ll escort her to the gala.

Sonny is on the phone talking about a guy at Ava’s art gallery. Carly comes downstairs in a magnificent navy blue sparkly dress and chandelier earrings. She tells Sonny he best get ready for their first event as newlyweds, but he says something came up.

Jerry tells Patrick that Robin was shot before he got there and he has the picture to prove it. I’m not buying this in the least. I think Henrico and Robin faked the photo. It looks awfully staged.

Paul says that escorting a known criminal isn’t good for the DA’s image, so he and Ava will have to keep things “under the covers” for now. They make a date to meet later.

Tracy tells Nina you have to watch out for the Jeromes, since they always have a hidden agenda.

Alexis tries to get Sam to stay, but she says the first people she saw were Jason and Elizabeth, so no thanks.

This is probably needless to say, but everyone looks fabulous in their formalwear.

Sam tries to cut out. Alexis tells Julian she’s going through a rough time and they have to be supportive. Laura sees Sam and says she wants to apologize.

Jerry says not his fault. It was all Helena’s doing. Patrick says Robin knew she was going to die from what she said during their last phone call. Jerry is such a tool, he tries to blame the Scorpios for not looking for Robin hard enough. Anna and Patrick are basically chatting and I’m wondering why someone isn’t pummeling Jerry.

Sam tells Laura no worries; she knows Laura had her reasons.

Michael tells Sabrrrina that he’s concerned about something Sonny said regarding Carrrlos.

Jason tells Monica he wants to give Carly back her phone (what’s he doing with her phone?), but he thinks she’s hiding from him so he’ll stay longer.

Julian asks Sam to stick around because he wants to talk to her and her sisters.

Tracy makes a little speech about Toys for Tots and introduces Paul. Paul is waiting in the wings and gets an envelope with panties and a hotel key in it. He shoves the panties into his pocket, so I’m sure this will cause an embarrassing moment later.

Sonny says he’s having Ava checked out and he’s waiting for his calls to be returned. Carly says she knows why he’s not going and it has nothing to do with work.

Paul talks about the gun amnesty program and how Monica has offered a thousand dollars per gun turned in. He says he hopes Monica has her checkbook ready since 99 guns have already been turned in. Paul thanks Tracy for welcoming him back into her life again. Rico Suave!

Sonny says if he can nail Ava, he can turn around the custody case. Carly thinks he just doesn’t want to go because he’s in a wheelchair. He says when he can dance with her, he’ll go out with her. She says they’ve had a few turns at first man and wife dances, but the fifth one will be the best.

Julian tells the girls that he wants to propose to Alexis, and asks their permission.

Sabrrrina is with Felix and the toys. She’s pretending she’s been recruited to help, but she’s really hiding from Michael.

Monica asks Michael if he has a sonogram picture. He just happens to be carrying it in the pocket of his tux. She looks at it and says there’s something wrong.

Laura tries to apologize to Jason, but a drunk Elizabeth interrupts. She says she hopes Laura has more luck with forgiveness than she did and tells him Laura was in on the deception.

Robert wants to know where Robin’s body is. Anna says they’ll kill Jerry slowly if he doesn’t comply. Two guys with guns come in and Jerry tells them to show them Robin’s body and then kill them. Um…Anna and Robert have guns too.

Sam tells Julian he has her vote. Christina says she’s in too. Alexis comes by and Christina says Molly was arguing with him. Alexis is like, oh come on now. Molly says Julian needs to come clean and works her “yes” into the conversation. She tells Alexis she hopes Alexis loves Julian enough to accept what he’s going to tell her.

The girls say “hi” to Carly and Sam sees Jason across the room with Elizabeth and Laura. Christina says Sam looks a little sad and Sam says it will take time to get over everything and she’s got to go.

Elizabeth tells Laura to take some of the burden of Jason’s rage. Laura apologizes to Jason for not telling him who he really was and he says she can make it up to him by not letting Elizabeth drive home.

Carly tells Jason he’s clearly not having a good time and she releases him from his duty as a guest.

Monica wonders why Sabrrrina hasn’t said she’s further along.

Sabrrrina tells Felix her worries about Michael. Felix says there’s no way he could know about Carrrlos being the baby’s father and he must have wanted to talk about Sonny getting shot. A Santa comes into the room with more toys and Felix leaves. I’ll bet I know who that Santa is. And I’m right. It’s Carrrlos!

I can’t believe the Scorpios just put down the guns without an argument. Anna causes a little disruption as the gunmen are leading them out and Robert gets his gun back. Jerry curses them out and basically runs.

Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina he’s leaving the country with a new identity and that he wanted to see her one more time. He gives her the information to find him. Michael knocks at the door.

Christina visits Sonny (that was a quick party!). He’s looking at photos and she asks if he’d like company going down Memory Lane.

Paul tells Tracy he has something to give her after the gala. Dillon takes their picture and Paul gets a phone call. It’s Ava asking if he got her gift and asks him if he’d like to know the room number that goes with the key. Of course he does, and she tells him not to be too long.

Obrecht tells Nina she’s her only niece and she wants to make peace. Nina is okay with that and tells her Merry Christmas.

Alexis is going buggy, wondering what Julian wants to tell her. He suggests they go somewhere else.

Ever understanding Laura tells Elizabeth that she recognizes that Elizabeth was hurting and wanted to hurt others. Save it for Dr. Phil, Laura.

Sam is having a drink somewhere private and Jason sees her. She says she wanted to be alone, but he doesn’t go anywhere.

Paul goes to Ava’s hotel room where she has a romantic atmosphere with candles going on.

Tracy toasts to the gala’s success. Monica thanks Carly for getting Jason to come. Carly congratulates her on becoming a great grandmother.

Carrrlos says ho-ho-ho to Michael and Michael says he’ll take it from there and gives Santa Carrrlos a tip. Not sure what that was about. Michael tells Sabrrrina they have to talk about the baby.

Julian says he wants to talk to Alexis privately and she asks if it’s that bad. Julian says a bunch of romantic stuff. He says that when she asked him to get his life together, he realized she wanted him to be the man he was when they first met. He gives her a bunch of compliments and says he changed for her because he couldn’t imagine life without her. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life making things up to her and asks her to marry him. She says no. Just kidding. She says yes. More romantic stuff and they kiss.

Christina tells Sonny there are no pictures of the two of them. He tries to sound hip and says some stuff about her putting them on Facebook and the pics going viral. She takes a picture of them with her phone.

Elizabeth thanks Laura for not giving up on her. My, she sobered up quickly. Laura says she wants to find Sam so she can properly apologize. Elizabeth says she doesn’t see Jason either. Geez, give it a rest.

Jason apologizes to Sam for not believing her. He says he should have shown her the same faith and respect that she showed him. Sam asks if he feels he would have been better off not knowing and he says no chance.  He says he doesn’t see her ring and she says she and Patrick called it quits. She says she loves Patrick, but not the way she loves him.

Tomorrow, India Arie will be performing and Carly and Elizabeth tangle.

Vanderpump Rules

I just love that slo-mo stuff in the intro. Not the song so much though.

Ariana tells Katie and Scheana that Peter is planning a guys’ trip to Vegas the day after her birthday. She thinks that the trip “reeks of Jax and Peter,” since they’re both freaking out over having serious girlfriends.

Peter asks Lisa for time off to go to Vegas. Lisa reminds them of the trouble they’ve had every time they go there, including Jax getting a girl pregnant. Lisa wonders why the two of them would want to test themselves, since they’re both in serious relationships. She forbids them from inviting Shay.

James tries to talk to Lala, who hasn’t spoken to him since he rolled in the hay with Lauren.  He tells her about the girls getting something together for Ariana’s birthday and it looks like she wasn’t invited.

Ariana tells Tom that she didn’t invite Lala, Kristen or James to the party. Tom says it seems like she’s not too keen on the guys going to Vegas. In the meantime, Schwartz is trying to convince Katie it’s not a guys’ trip; it’s just a birthday celebration for Peter. Neither Ariana nor Katie want the Toms going to Vegas. Tom tells Ariana he loves her smile and Ariana asks for “macaroni with that cheese.” Ha-ha!

While they’re setting up for Ariana’s birthday party, Peter is telling Tom about how they’re going to be playing with real bulldozers in Vegas. Huh? Tom suggests he keep the plans on the down low and not take attention away from Ariana today. Katie tells Peter’s girlfriend that she’s not appreciating the Vegas trip.

For the party, Ariana is dressed like a Japanese Anime unicorn. Okay. Jax is wearing a seriously stupid giant cowboy hat. The guys are in the kitchen discussing the trip. Tom says he wants to talk to Ariana about the trip, but Schwartz says maybe now is not the best time since she’s having fun on some kind of acrobatic equipment.

The party has a carnival flavor. Ariana says she’s reaching back to her childhood and brining in all the cool stuff she remembers from parties and adding “performance enhancing drugs.” By that, I think she means tequila.

Schaena tells Faith she’s sorry she couldn’t pay much attention when Faith was hired, but she was going through a lot of stuff. She says she feels badly that Lala wasn’t invited, and that she likes Lala, but is having a hard time convincing Katie and Ariana to like her.

Schwartz tells Katie he’s going to Vegas and she starts to cry. Katie says their relationship is the biggest thing in her life, but it seems like it’s not a priority to Schwartz. She says she’s tired of being the one who has to bend in the relationship. Schwartz says after this trip, there will be minimal bending.  I tell her to get used to it.

Ariana and Katie discuss the guys going away. Ariana says she’s trying to make a fun day, but she misses her father who passed away a couple of years ago. I can totally understand where she’s coming from. She says she doesn’t want Tom going away right now because she doesn’t want to be alone. She starts to cry and Scheana comes over. Katie says it’s okay to cry and that she cries during The Price is Right.  I’d be crying because I was desperate enough to watch The Price is Right.

The cake comes out covered in sparklers. Ariana says she’s always wanted an epic birthday party and today it’s happening. Tom asks her if she had fun and she says it’s possibly the best birthday ever.  She says that every year her father would give her Lou Gehrig’s speech on her birthday, and tell her that the day she was born was the best day of his life. She says it’s hard to talk about and she feels like a wimp crying. Tom says he’s always going to be there for her. He tells her that Peter has set up a construction yard with bulldozers for the guys in Vegas. Ariana says there’s no point in continuing the discussion because he’s never going to get it.

The guys leave for Vegas with Peter driving. Tom says he’s gone back and forth, but he hasn’t given Ariana a reason not to trust him. In his individual interview, Jax mentions Miami Girl and we flash back, but I always thought that smelled of a set up. Someone farts. I missed who it was, but it was probably Jax.

Lala asks Faith how the party was. Faith says it was great, but she missed Lala. Ariana and Katie join them, and Ariana gripes about the extra work with the guys gone. Lisa comes in and asks about the birthday party. It’s obvious that Lala wasn’t invited, and Ariana says she only wanted to invite close friends because it was her 30th. Ariana shows a video on her phone to prove other people weren’t invited. In her individual interview, Lala talks about feeling left out and doesn’t get why people treat her mean, even though she knows she’s hot. I could think of a few reasons.

Lisa suggests the girls go out and have fun to teach the guys a lesson. She says she wouldn’t come home until the morning and wouldn’t answer her phone. She tells them don’t get mad, get even.

The construction place is called “Dig This.” The manager gives them a breathalyzer first. Peter is concerned that there might still be alcohol in their systems from the party, but they all pass. Jax says it’s the first time he’s passed a breathalyzer. How many DUIs does he have and why does he still have a license? Yep. It’s a fake construction site where everyone puts on hard hats and bulldozes things.

OMG – coming up is Jax showing his plumber’s crack. Really his whole nakey behind. No thanks.

The guys go to the casino for some gambling and drinking. Tom says he loves the energy of Vegas. I’ve never been there, but I don’t think it would be my scene. I went to Atlantic City once to see Barry Manilow (quit laughing) and I had the feeling Barry didn’t want to be there either.

Oh Lord, we have to see Tom’s bare behind too? And there goes Jax, dancing half nakey in the window. Now he’s pretending to pee on the electrical outlet. We should be so lucky. Tom calls Ariana, who tells him the girls are having a pajama party. He says he misses her. In her individual interview, she says she misses him, but realizes she has some good friends she can talk to. Another one who needs to get used to it.

James tells Ariana that he’s pissed about Jax hanging out with Kristen and now chatting up Lala. Lisa asks Ariana how she’s holding up and she tells Lisa bout her dad’s death and how she misses him during milestone events. Lisa asks why she doesn’t talk to Tom about it and she says she doesn’t want to come off as needy. Lisa says honesty is necessary in a relationship.

The girls get together at Scheana’s place. They play some question game that has to do with sex. Are there any question games that don’t have to do with sex? Ariana and Katie talk about how awkward it was talking about the party with Lisa and Lala not being invited. Scheana calls Lala and asks her if she wants to come over. Lala says she’s just about to turn in, but Scheana says she lives close by and they’re all in pajamas anyway.

The guys are drinking at the disco. Or what looks like a disco. Peter says he’s at the point in his relationship where not cheating is meaningful. Bleh.

Lala gets to Scheana’s. They take videos of the girls kissing and sends them to the guys. Lala makes noises about being bi-sexual. I think. She’s talking in riddles. The guys get the videos and send back a pic of Schwartz and Tom giving each other a peck on the lips, and afterward wiping it off. Jax says they’ve passed every test and now if they just go to bed alone, they’ll be fine.

Somehow, they all end up back at the suite, bringing only take-out back with them. Schwartz gets on Facetime with Katie. Katie says there wasn’t any time she didn’t trust him, but she’s not so sure about strange girls. Ariana seems cool with everything now too.

Tom suggests they go back to the casino and ruin everything. He says that everyone knows there’s that time in Vegas when you need to put your winnings in your pocket and walk away, but now is not that time.

Next week, Scwartz talks about doing something stupid and Kristen claims to not be a crazy bitch any more. I’m sure the latter is up for debate.

This Week’s Quote from the Vanderpump Rules After Show

That never happened…It might have happened. Jax, referring to getting nakey on the Vegas trip.