Tag Archives: Real Housewives of NYC

Jul27

July 26, 2017 – Spencer Tells All, Ramona Worms Her Way In, a Bit of Chef & an Odd Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nina asks Spencer to say Valentin had nothing to do with kidnapping him. Spencer insists it was him.

Hayden visits Elizabeth.

Finn gets Griff a thank you lunch. Griff says he was just doing his job, but Finn says it’s at least lunch worthy; he went above and beyond. Griff says that Finn has been reinstated, and wants to go back to being colleagues and friends. Obrecht enters the restaurant, and tells them Guten tag.

Sam keeps telling Jason it’s over and she made sure.

Sonny lies bleeding and unconscious. I can never get over how good Maurice Benard looks, since we basically grew up together. He has some amazing genetics.

Valentin says that Spencer is mistaken or lying, and liars get found out. Dante asks what happened. Spencer says that he, a defenseless child, was at the park and a bag was placed over his head by someone with impressive upper body strength and no manners. Dante tells him to stick to the facts. He says he was put in the trunk of a car and taken to a basement, with no food or water. Will I die here? he asked himself. No, he wouldn’t. He escaped his captor despite breaking his glasses. Dante says based on his account – Spencer interrupts, finishing that Dante will be sending Valentin up the river – he didn’t see who it was. How does he know it was Valentin? Spencer says he can prove it because of his shoes. He was wearing them when he kidnapped him.

Obrecht wonders why Griff isn’t on call. He says that he’s picking up lunch. Obrecht can’t blame him for following the herd like lemmings. She’s sure that Finn will make an excellent contribution to the hospital now that he’s back. He says he wishes she’d felt that way before. She says that all she wanted what was best for GH, but who is she to argue if they want a drug addled doctor? He says he’s gotten treatment, but there’s no cure for what she has. She says now that she made the break, her future prospects have improved. As he’s leaving, Finn says thank God it’s over. Obrecht says, not nearly over.

Jason checks Sam for a fever. She says they’re safe and she did what she had to do. Jason says they’re going to the hospital, and carries her out.

Sonny is like wth? He sits up and drags himself over to the wall. He remembers Sam and the gun going off, and calls out her name, saying to get him out of there.

Spencer says not many people can afford $3000 shoes, much less wear them on the grass. Dante takes Spencer to a private room. Valentin asks Nina if she realizes that Spencer is lying.

Hayden tells Elizabeth that she enjoyed her time with Jake. Most important, she wanted to thank Elizabeth for helping her at The Floating Rib. It was terrifying, embarrassing, and ultimately educational. Elizabeth says every pregnant woman has to learn the hard way. She asks why Hayden is really there. Hayden pulls out a bunch of baby care books, and says she’s doing everything wrong.

Jared meets Obrecht. He says he’s intrigued. She says that she knows Port Charles is out of his parole officer’s jurisdiction. She’s been doing research, and has learned a wealth of information on him and someone else. He asks what she wants, and she says to get what they both truly deserve.

Finn and Griff finish lunch, and I want ribs now. Griff says Obrecht doesn’t look like she’s leaving town. Finn tells him, live and let live. He says he came to Port Charles to treat Tracy, got offered a position, and thought he had everything he needed. He didn’t have to think about anyone, except for his late wife. Then he met Hayden, and there was no going back. Griff calls her a force of nature. Finn says she’s been there for him in ways he thought no one except his wife could be. He’s finally getting a second chance at happiness.

Jason runs into the hospital with Sam.

Sonny keeps calling for anyone. His leg is bleeding, and he rips his shirt to make a tourniquet. He’s wearing a bullet-proof vest, which explains why Wavy Garvey didn’t kill him.

Valentin says the only thing missing from Spencer’s recitation was organ music. Nina says when they first met, he was after Spencer. He asks why she posted bail. She wants to believe him, but doesn’t know whether to trust him or admit she made a mistake and he’s been playing her the whole time.

Dante’s phone rings. He tells Spencer that he’ll be back. Laura sits down. She says what happened was horrible, and she’s glad he’s okay. She tells him that what Valentin did to his father was unconscionable, but somehow, someday he’ll pay for it. Spencer says, carpe diem, let today be the day, but Laura says only if he’s guilty. If Spencer is accusing him of something he didn’t do, instead of him being Valentin’s victim, Valentin would be his victim. Spencer wonders if he doesn’t deserve to be, but Laura says what they want is justice. If Spencer isn’t totally telling the truth, everything they’ve been fighting for will be in jeopardy. He’ll use it in court and win, and the worst part is that he’d be right. Spencer says nothing would be worse, but what if he did it; it’s possible. Laura says he has to be certain. Spencer says there are degrees of certainly, and she tells him that she is certain if Valentin didn’t do it, then the kidnapper is still out there. What if he kidnaps someone not as smart or resourceful? He wouldn’t want that to happen. Spencer guesses he wouldn’t, and Laura asks again if he’s 100% certain.

Jared says he’s not one for mysteries. He’s giving Obrecht ten minutes; five if she’s boring. She assures him that she’s never been boring. She says before he went to prison, he was married to Rachel Berlin, and there are so many puzzling questions. She brings up the night they had a fight at the country club, and Jared says he’s done. She assures him not. She has a suspicion that he might want to locate her. He says that he can do that on his own, but Obrecht says she’s just a few miles away, living under a different name, and preparing to have child with new love of her life.

Hayden says Elizabeth is the best resource she’s got. Elizabeth asks before all these books, what were her thoughts about having kids? Hayden tells her that she was raised believing material things and wealth were paramount, but doesn’t want to instill those values in her offspring. She says that she was married before, but it was over before the scandal broke. They lived well, and talked about having kids, but not seriously. This is the first time she’s taken the subject seriously, and that’s because she’s pregnant. Elizabeth takes the books away. Hayden asks what she did to be such a good mom.

Sonny fixes the tourniquet on his leg. He knocks over a crate and steps onto it, pulling himself up. We focus on his shoes, and I wonder why.

Jason tells Finn that Sam has been babbling about being safe. Griff puts a rush on some tests. Jason tells Sam he’ll be right back and she’ll be fine. He leaves, and in her head, Sam sees Sonny, who asks if she’s happy now. She killed him.

Nina knows that Valentin’s version of events in the past has sounded truthful, but sometimes wasn’t. He asks if she believes he loves her, and she says yes, in the way he knows how. She tells him that sometimes ruthless strategy and heartfelt declaration are hard to tell apart, and she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to.

Laura asks Spencer about the shoes, and if he really saw them. He says technically, no. Laura says he has to stop. She loves him, but right now he’s being as vengeful and spiteful as Valentin, and she needs for him to be something better, and tell Dante the truth – no more no less. Dante comes in. He asks if Spencer has anything to add.

Elizabeth says Hayden is being kind. Hayden asks when Elizabeth has known her to be kind for the sake of being kind, and Elizabeth says never. Hayden tells her that she’s observed Elizabeth’s mothering skills. Elizabeth insists she’ll have them too, but Hayden says that in her other life, she wasn’t a good person. In the second grade, she extorted a candy bracelet from a classmate. She has a lot to regret.

Jared tells Obrecht good for Rachel. He says they’re divorced, and he has no reason to track her. Obrecht asks what about his prison sentence? At the time, Rachel was wealthy. Jared says she had a talent for making money, and obviously, Obrecht knows what happened. Obrecht says knowing Rachel as she does, he went to prison for her, and she wants to help him.

Sonny falls. He rests for a moment.

Fantasy Sonny tells Sam that it’s not over just because she killed him; it will never be over. Sam sits up and yells. Jason comes in. Sam wants to go home, but Jason tells Griff that she’s not making sense. She keeps talking about being safe.

Spencer tells Dante that maybe he’s being over-dramatic, and not as accurate as he first thought. Dante asks if he’s certain Valentin is the one. Spencer is certain he could have been, but not actually certain he did it. Dante asks about the shoes, and Spencer says now that he thinks about it, he never saw them. He had a bag over his head, and didn’t see anything. Dante asks if there’s anything else, and Spencer tells him that he doesn’t know who did it. He doesn’t remember or know anything. Dante thanks him. Laura tells Spencer, good job. Spencer says he still hates Valentin. Laura doesn’t blame him, and wants him to know they’ll never stop fighting for justice for his father.

Dante tells Valentin that he’s free to go, but don’t leave town. He says that Spencer admitted he wasn’t sure, and ha no idea who took him. Valentin looks at Nina.

Elizabeth says that Hayden has come a long way from being Rachel. She stuck by Finn, and she thinks they’ve made progress as sisters. She tells Hayden that by the time her shower rolls around, she’ll have it down pat. Hayden says she has no friends; who would throw her a shower? Elizabeth tells her that’s what sisters are for and they hug.

Jared finds out from Obrecht that Rachel is now calling herself Hayden, even though everyone knows who she really is. Obrecht tells him that Hayden’s current lover ruined her life. Until recently, she was a highly regarded physician, and he was hellbent on his own destruction. She tried to save hospital from him, but Hayden saved him instead. She wants to pay him back in kind. Jared asks again what she wants. She says the time he spent in prison was to what end? He’s entitled to more, but if he isn’t interested in getting the recompense he deserves, there’s the door. It will take him to the rest of his unfulfilled life.

Sonny sits down. He sees his shattered phone.

Jason says Sam needs rest. She tells him not to worry, and he says he’s not; the doctors will find out what’s going on. Sam says she did it, and he asks what she means; what did she do?

Nina says she doesn’t know Valentin’s heart. He says she knows it better than anyone because it belongs to her. He went without love his entire life until her, and he doesn’t want to give it up. She has reason to doubt him, but he wants to be a better man. Nina says that’s why she posted bail, and jokes about getting her money back. She has to get to work, and leaves the station. Valentin smiles.

Spencer comes out, and tells Valentin not to think he’s going soft. He’ll do what it takes to make him pay. Valentin says actions have consequnces, and assuming someone kidnapped him, they’re getting away. Laura tells Spencer that she’s taking him home, but he insists Windemere is his home, and Valentin stole it. Spencer tells Valentin, My name is Spencer Cassadine; you killed my father; prepare to die, referring to dialogue from The Princess Bride. I die laughing.

Hayden leaves Elizabeth’s place, almost forgetting her bag.

Jared tells Obrecht that maybe Rachel promised him something, but it was a long time ago, before she lost everything. Obrecht asks if he got nothing, and Jared says just divorce papers in his jail cell. She says he was cast aside, and she knows what it’s like to be discarded, and Rachel/Hayden has a flair for that. What she did to him personally was done to Obrecht professionally. It’s up to them to fire back. Jared says, or move on like grown-ups. Obrecht doesn’t think they have the right to do what they did. Jared doesn’t either. Obrecht suggests that if they work together, they can acquire recompense and retribution.

Griff looks at the test results. Finn thinks he has an idea of what they’re dealing with. More brain worms?

Sonny throws the phone. That always helps. He struggles to get up again, and looks up at the wall.

Jason tells Sam to try and sleep. She says she already did it, and he tells her that he loves her, but for now, just rest. She convulses, and the alarm goes off.

Tomorrow, Sonny continues to call for help, Jordan has news about Dante’s father, and Stella asks Curtis when he and Jordan decided to call it quits.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda goes to yoga. The instructor tells her to do the egg salad position. I swear that’s what he said. Luann tells us how wasted she got the night before, like we didn’t notice. Bethenny says she’s tough; she’d be praying to the toilet bowl right now. I’d at least be in bed. At breakfast, everyone wonders how Luann is even functioning. A major floral arrangement comes for Tinsley. The card says it’s for the best and longest first date ever. She wonders how he knew where to send them. Um… he asked Adam? Carole says it’s a match made in heaven. Bethenny suggests surfing, but Tinsley and Luann want to shop.

Ramona apologizes to Bethenny for her idiocy, saying it just snowballed somehow. She doesn’t know why she embarrasses herself all the time. In her interview, she says she just wants it to stop, and will say anything. Bethenny tells her she wants a smooth day at the distillery, and Ramona should just stay and chill. Ramona thinks Bethenny might change her mind. Bethenny says she’s never seen anything like it, and it goes back for ten years. She doesn’t want to hurt Ramona, but thinks it’s not in her best interest to go. She says Ramona doesn’t like her, but Ramona says, I don’t not not like you [sic]. Whatever that means. Ramona randomly mentions an article about Bethenny in the Wall Street Journal.

Ramona and Sonja have breakfast. Sonja says that Tinsley’s childlike behavior is being enabled. She talks about Tinsley’s five-day date, and asks who does that? Jealous much? Ramona says she’ll never win with Bethenny. When she’s healthy, she snaps like a turtle. Bethenny suggests going surfing. Dorinda has never surfed, but is willing to give it a try. Better her than me.

Tinsley thinks Sonja doesn’t understand, and asks why she isn’t more protective with the press. In her interview, Tinsley says she would have immediately squashed anything about a friend of hers. Sonja says that Tinsley has to deal with it herself, and that she should have brought it up in private. Her friends just made it worse by enabling her behavior. Apparently, Sonja’s root word-of-the-day is enable.

Luann gets whacked with a surfboard in the elbow, which I’m sure takes her mind off of her hangover. Dorinda says surfing is like birth. Bethenny is very good, but not so much Carole, who wonders why she’s doing this. Afterward, everyone high fives the instructor. Bethenny says they missed Ramona’s floatation devices (i.e. her boobs).

Sonja screeches at Tinsley that she didn’t do it. Tinsley says it came from her. Sonja insists they didn’t talk to her. Tinsley thinks Sonja is being aggressive and bitchy, and had something to do with it.

Bethenny wants an early dinner so they can be fresh in the morning. Dorinda says Ramona hates to be by herself, and thinks she still might end up coming. In her interview, Dorinda thinks Bethenny is going to relent. The girls go to an outside market. I would go absolutely wild there. Ramona has decided to act like nothing is wrong. Bethenny points out an amazing embroidered kimono-sleeved dress. Her card is blocked since her assistant didn’t do something or other with it, and Ramona springs for the dress, much to Bethenny’s dismay. Tinsley says she’s winning. Bethenny says she ultimately can’t be mean, and Sonja says you can’t get rid of Singer. Ramona buys straw tote bags for everyone, but Luann has to lend her money, which she doesn’t expect to see again. Bethenny wonders how much it will cost for Ramona to get herself an invite. She’s saying no, but all signs are pointing to yes.

Back at the ranch villa, some of the girls get in the hot tub. Bethenny asks Sonja how Ramona’s headspace is. She doesn’t want to have a Hallmark moment in inviting her along, but says if Ramona does anything wrong, she’ll have to kill her. Sonja tells them that Ramona was happy in her marriage. She’s fronting, and it’s making her act out. Ramona jogs on the beach, which they all find weird. Carole thinks there’s a hot guy at the end of the beach, or maybe just a guy.

Sonja tells Ramona about how Bethenny didn’t want to exclude her. Ramona says she understands that Bethenny’s feelings were hurt. She f-ed up with what she said, and it wasn’t her intention to hurt her. Bethenny is wearing the cutest dress ever. It looks like something from the 70s – a mini with longish full sleeves that have open shoulders, and it has drawstrings everywhere. Ramona says she has to accept only bringing up what Bethenny wants to. Sonja says they’re growing. Please. Dorinda thinks she’s sore from yoga until Carole reminds her that she went surfing.

At dinner, Bethenny says it can’t be a blackout night. Tinsley sees the Page Six item got published; she was hoping Sonja would negate the story. Bethenny says it mentions Sonja and Ramona too. Tinsley insists it started from Sonja. Sonja says she’s blowing it out of proportion, but Carole backs Tinsley up, and says that Sonja tells total strangers Tinsley is a bad houseguest. Sonja says it was a friendship issue, but Tinsley says she complained so much, it got in the press. Sonja says you don’t stay for five months if you’re unhappy. In her interview, Carole says that Sonja never met an article with her name in it that she didn’t love. Luann tells Sonja to apologize, and she does the sorry, but thing. Bethenny says it’s like a circle jerk, and Carole has to explain what that means. I won’t be doing that. Google it if you don’t know. Dorinda gives out cute and funny gifts. Is there a Spencer’s in Mexico?

Bethenny says that she’s blessed and fortunate to take them on an alcoholic field trip; she just has to get them there. She explains how to dress. Bethenny tells Ramona she doesn’t know how she feels anymore, and begs her to behave at the distillery. She says it’s her life and livelihood, and she doesn’t want it ruined. If Ramona has nothing nice to say, don’t say it. Ramona insists she wouldn’t do that. Bethenny tells Ramona to try to be someone people tolerate, and they hug it out.

Sonja claims she hasn’t had a drink in ten months. I believe it if you do. Ramona cracks her head getting into the helicopter (good) because she has a bandana over her face to protect her baby skin. She’s happy to be included, and thinks they’re on a path to something better. Bethenny says it’s been a rough couple of years, but now it’s overwhelming. Olas all around. A guy blows a conch shell, and there’s drumming. Dorinda thinks Ramona looks like a bad MTV commercial from the 80s, and this time she does not want her MTV.

Raphael is the tour guide. SkinnyGirl margaritas are given out. People in native costume dance. Carole says she’s never seen anything like it – except in Vegas. They’re shown the agave plants, and how they’re harvested. They take a trolley to the distillery. Everyone thanks Bethenny, who says she’s happy they’re all there. Dorinda can’t bear watching Ramona kiss Bethenny’s ass. At the distillery, the girls put on hard hats, and the process is explained. They get old-fashioned powder horns, which is the original way tequila was drunk. It’s 130 proof; 65% alcohol. Oh. No. Everyone drinks from their horns. Luann tells us it’s smooth but strong. Dorinda compares it to drinking smoke.

There’s a dancing horse outside, and a little boy giving out roses. Dorinda says it’s like Disneyland in Mexico with tequila. A tent has been set up for lunch. Bethenny passes out little drinking buddies, tiny plastic guys in bathing suits that sit on the glasses, and the tequila tasting menu commences. Tinsley wants to take a kid home, and Carole calls her the Angelina Jolie of Mexico.

Dorinda isn’t sure they’re going to make it home, but it’s back to the helicopter. Probably the only way you’d get me in it is after a day of booze. When they get back, Carole says they have to keep drinking. Bethenny says light a match and the house will go up in flames. She dances on the table. Everyone goes out by the pool, and Sonja tries to make out with Luann. Some of the girls take advantage of the infinity pool and rope swing.

Ramona tells Sonja about Mario leaving his ring at home, and how she knew something was changing. Sonja says when they start wearing skinny jeans and tight T-shirts, they’re cheating. She doesn’t believe Ramona is happy, since she was having sex every night when she was married. Bethenny says no one does it every night. Sonja says she was there (!), and Ramona says it was three or four times a week. She misses what they had, but has to go on. Sonja wails about how hard it must be, and Bethenny tells Sonja to knock it off. In her interview, she says you know if she’s defending Ramona, it’s bad. Ramona starts to argue with Sonja.

Next time, a fishing trip where whales show up, more tequila is swilled, there are fireworks, and Dorinda injures her hand.

🍴 On MasterChef, after Daisy the Cow was paraded around, the mystery box was revealed to have cow parts. That’s just wrong. One chef wasn’t sure what to do with the kidneys, and I’m reminded of the depression food my father cooked when I was a child. (His neck bone soup still stands as one of the best things I’ve ever eaten.) Angus steak and asparagus were in the pressure test, and Nico went home. Gordon told him he was talented, but couldn’t grasp his fundamental errors. Truth! He could not grasp the reasons his dish went wrong. Next time, the chefs have to cook for the backbone of culinary world, and use their products. We also learn ricotta and halibut don’t go together.

It’s Back…

odd_mom-29-May-2017

🍨 Whatever doesn’t kill us, makes us thinner. – Devon, Odd Mom Out

 

Jul20

July 19, 2017 – Finn is Cleared & the NYC Wives Invade Mexico

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Julian rings Alexis’s doorbell. She says she’s working on a new case. He hopes she has time for one more, but she says she’s not representing him. He’s no asking her to; he wants her to be a witness.

Hayden is proud of Finn, and wants to celebrate. He tells her that the townhouse he was buying fell out of escrow. He’s found another one, but they have to move fast. Griff appears and says assuming he passes the next drug test. Finn says they already proved the others were tampered with. Monica joins them, and says that she wants to have a serious talk with Finn.

At the Crimson office, Nina tells Nathan that the Man Landers interview is being edited. He says he’s getting in deeper and deeper. He asks if she’s keeping her promise to stay away from Valentin. She says she is, but he’s not staying away from her; he told her he’s pulling out all the stops. Nina tells Nathan that he’s starting with this, and shows him some paperwork. He says a nursing home for horses; Valentin knows how to win her heart back. He asks if it’s working.

Charlotte says she’s not hungry, but if she gets more ice cream, she and Valentin don’t have to leave.

Laura calls Dante and tells him that Spencer has disappeared. Dante thinks it’s not that unusual. He says Lulu told him that Spencer has taken off a lot. Laura says he’s been aggressive about wanting to get his inheritance back from Valentin, and that’s what has her worried. She thinks Valentin would like nothing better than for Spencer to disappear.

Julian tells Alexis that he wants her to tell the truth, and nothing but.

Monica looks all serious, and says according to his latest test results… Finn is okay. His test was negative, and he’s vindicated her faith in him. She did that thing like they do on the competition shows, acting like the results were horrible, when he’d really won the prize. Finn is wanted in the conference room. Monica congratulates him on being officially reinstated.

Nina tells Nathan that she might be able to entertain the idea of giving Valentin a second chance, but only if he can put the past in the past, and create a future with her and Charlotte. He asks if she told Valentin that, and she says she told Nelle. He says that’s worse; she’s just trying to convince herself. Nina says sometimes people do terrible things, and Obrecht enters her office, saying even she’s capable of indiscretions. Nina adds, sometimes before her morning coffee. Obrecht says no one is beyond redemption. She wants to discuss something with Nina privately, and Nathan leaves.

Nina tells Obrecht that she heard what happened. Obrecht says she’s glad to be rid of GH.

When Finn gets to the conference room, there’s a surprise party for him.

At the station, Laura explains everything to Doc, and tells him about Valentin’s court order. She also tells him that Spencer is missing. Dante says with any luck, someone saw him. Laura says he would have told Chandler if he was going somewhere. Dante asks if he’s that considerate, and Doc says, no, that thorough. Laura says it has to be Valentin, and tells Dante about the altercation at the park. Dante says that doesn’t mean anything, and she tells him about lawsuit. Doc says at the least, he’ll suffer public humiliation, and at worst, be wiped out. Laura says it’s clear he wanted it to go away.

Valentin tells Charlotte that they never have to be apart again. They can even petition the court again, and she could come back to Windemere to live. He says Spencer is a troubled young man, but it’s not okay for him to take his unhappiness out on her. She won’t be seeing him anymore. Valentin sees an Amber Alert for Spencer on his phone.

Alexis tells Julian that she’ll go to jail if she lies, and there’s no proof about Olivia-J threatening her. Julian says that he took bullet so Alexis could walk away. She says Leo could tear this apart on the stand, but Julian thinks a jury will buy it. He says if she testifies, she’ll be risking everything, and has nothing to gain by lying, so they’ll believe her. She says it’s not a good argument, but a huge stretch. The only way she’ll do it is if he testifies too. She makes him swear on a Bible. Like that means anything to him.

Finn tells Monica that her bedside manner is worse than his. She toasts to his courage. She says they look out for each other, but today they’re here for him. He thanks each of them for giving him a second chance, but says wouldn’t be on the planet if not for Hayden. Elizabeth says that in his honor, they’ve raided the vending machines.

Nina tells Obrecht that they already have a medical column, but Obrecht isn’t suggesting anything fluffy. She wants to write a serious scholarly report on medical research. Nina thinks a medical journal would be best for her work. Obrecht says that Nina has no place for her, and why should her talents be appreciated there when they were dismissed by the hospital? Nina says she’ll call around and find an opportunity that’s a better fit for her talent. Obrecht says that’s surprisingly kind. She’ll think about it while she collects her final paycheck, and then goes off to the cow pasture. While Nina ponders this, music from the Planet Terror soundtrack is played. I’m not kidding. I’ve seen that movie a thousand times.

Nathan calls Nina and asks her to come to the station. He needs to talk to her about Spencer.

Valentin suggests that he and Charlotte go to Windemere and feed the horses. Laura and Doc enter the restaurant and ask if Charlotte is having a nice visit. She tells them about going to feed the horses. Dante comes in, and says before they go, he needs to ask Valentin some questions. Valentin says he has a court order for visitation, but Dante says that it’s just a few questions about something else. Valentin tells Charlotte to stay, and if he’s not back in time for them to go to Windemere, they’ll see the horses next visit. Charlotte asks Laura if this is because of Spencer.

At the station, Nathan asks Nina about Spencer coming to Windemere. She tells him about going to get her jewelry, and the door being unlocked. She found Spencer inside, and says he was trying to get proof that the estate was his, but only found a copy of the will saying it was left to Valentin. After that, he seemed more determined than disappointed. Nathan asks if it seemed like he intended further action. Nina says not that night, but before. He came to her office, and demanded Windemere back. She explained that it was Valentin’s, and he wanted to contact him, but Laura and Doc arrived. Nathan asks if she thinks Spencer is capable of acting on his own. She says yes, but all Nathan knows is that he’s disappeared.

Hayden tells Elizabeth to pinch her because everything is going so well. When she does, Hayden is like, hey, and Elizabeth says she told her to do it. Elizabeth admits to being just a little jealous. Hayden says she thought Elizabeth was happy with Franco. Elizabeth says she is, but it will never be normal, not that it’s necessarily a bad thing. She tells Hayden that she deserves some calm for sticking by Finn. Griff gives a toast, saying the day has been a long time coming. He talks about how the guest of honor has been misunderstood. They broke the rules, but is someone that GH couldn’t live without. Obrecht overhears, and for a moment, thinks the party is for her. She walks in.

Alexis questions Julian. He talks about Olivia-J’s machinations, but Alexis says that was after. What about before he grabbed Alexis on the pier and held a knife to her throat? He asks if she remembers him asking his sister if he hadn’t done enough. Alexis remembers, and also remembers Olivia pretending to be an AA sponsor. She says she remembers how Julian didn’t warn her, not even a little hint. Julian says that if she’d known, she would have acted differently, and if Olivia had realized, she would have sliced Alexis’s throat open for real. He begged Alexis not to use her as a sponsor. She’d already almost killed Sam and Scout. Alexis asks if there’s anyone who can corroborate that; there’s no evidence to the contrary. He says he doesn’t have a witness, but he does have proof.

Monica asks Obrecht if they can help her, and she runs out. Hayden follows, saying she’s glad Obrecht came. She asks if Obrecht thought she was getting a gold watch, and says she’s lucky she’s not in prison.

Charlotte tells Doc and Laura about Valentin saying that Spencer is troubled, and that he misses his father, but shouldn’t be taking it out on her. And he told her that she won’t be seeing Spencer anymore.

Nina asks what Valentin is doing at the station. He says he has no idea. Dante tells him that Spencer disappeared from the park, and according to Laura, Spencer told Charlotte that Valentin had killed his father. Nina says he had no right to pick on Charlotte. Valentin says Spencer is a child, which gives him leeway, but he’s unhappy with the grown-ups who have indulged him. He’s a bully and a precocious jerk, which is what he told Laura.

Julian hands Alexis the letter that he’d left for her, and tells her to read it again, so they can enter it into the record. She reads about Olivia-J’s threats, and that he had one mission, to protect his family. Julian starts to recite the letter, saying that he never stopped loving her. He tells her that the defense rests. A tear rolls down her cheek.

Hayden gives Obrecht her severance pay. Obrecht asks if Hayden has any idea what she’s achieved. Hayden says she’s a magnificent healer. She looked at Obrecht’s file, and says she has amazing skill and vision. Obrecht asks why then? Hayden says she also took a good look at her background, and she’s like two people – one willing to help others, and the other willing to destroy them. She has to go, the sooner the better. Obrecht says it won’t stop her. Finn comes out to check on Hayden, and Obrecht says how chivalrous. She asks where his sense of honor and duty was when he was injecting himself while attending to patients. He tells her that he owned up to his mistakes, and now it’s her turn. He has a chance to have a future. Obrecht laughs, saying he’s as sanctimonious as Griff, but at least Griff is easy on the eyes. Finn admits Griff is handsome. Hayden tells Obrecht to take her severance pay and go.

Laura asks what Charlotte thinks her poppa meant. Charlotte says Spencer hurts her feelings, so she doesn’t have to see him anymore. Laura wants to take her home, but she wants to wait. Doc says it might take a while, and she asks why.

Dante tells Valentin that he might want to consult a lawyer. Valentin says that he would never harm a child, and Dante brings up the lawsuit. Valentin tells him that Alexis is exploiting a child with a suit that has no merit, but Dante says maybe he sees Spencer as something to be removed. Dante asks Nina what she thinks, and Nina tells him it’s bad police work, rushing to judgement with no witnesses or evidence. Nathan says someone saw a child being dragged from the park. When Dante asks if there was a description, Nathan says him, nodding at Valentin.

Alexis tells Julian that the letter is convincing. Julian says she knows it’s true, but she says knowing and convincing are two different things. She asks why he left her, and why he didn’t find her after he fell from the bridge? He says it was the only way to protect her. If the police had known, she would have been charged as an accomplice, and he didn’t want to implicate her. She asks why didn’t he stay dead, instead of dragging her into his dysfunction. Julian tells her that he knew he had to see her again, and she wanted it too. She says a jury isn’t going to be amused. He says he’ll take that chance as long as she’s willing. The doorbell rings. It’s a process server. Alexis says that she’s been summoned to be witness for the prosecution.

Finn thanks everyone especially Hayden. He promises she won’t regret it. Monica says welcome back to GH, now get back to work. Finn gets a call, and tells Hayden they’ll be looking at a house after his shift. They kiss.

Obrecht goes to her office, and sees her things packed. She opens her laptop, and uses Spyder Finder to look up Finn. She says what’s the point? She’s already dug up his less than spotless past, and besides, there’s a more effective method to make him pay. She puts Hayden/Rachel’s name in the search engine.

Laura tells Charlotte that Dante probably needed help on a case. Doc says he does it all the time, but it takes a while, so maybe she should go to Dante and Lulu’s. Laura says they’ll make sure her poppa knows. Charlotte says that no matter what it takes, he always comes back.

Valentin swears he had nothing to do with it. He drops a paper. It’s Spencer’s notes on Hamlet. Dante asks why he has it, and Valentin says there’s a simple explanation. (Isn’t it always?) Dante arrests him.

Tomorrow, Lucy has the keys to Finn and Hayden’s dream house, Laura needs Sonny’s help, and Hayden asks Obrecht why she’s still at the hospital.

The Real Housewives of NYC

We’re in Mexico! Bethenny has the flu, but she cancelled the last trip because of health issues, so she’s going this time. She says Ramona looks like the Bride of Frankenstein, since she decided they have a chemical peel five minutes before the flight. Carole wants to go to Taco Bell, and I’m hoping they don’t really have those there. The ladies play marry-shag-kill in the limo to the hotel. Adam and Scott (Tinsley’s blind date) are off on a guy’s trip to Vegas. Tinsley says their first date lasted five days; they ended up going to Miami. Sonja tells them she got her first d*ck pic, but it was a wrong number. Bethenny thinks that’s the best, and I agree. I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that pic, but it’s funny when it happens to Sonja.

No surprise, the villa is fabulous. Even Bethenny is impressed. I’m sure Ramona will be complaining in, three…two…one. Bethenny says she wants the trip perfect. It almost didn’t happen so many times, she’s excited now. Dorinda doesn’t care what room she gets, saying she’ll sleep on the lawn. Ramona tells Sonja that they got the worst room in Miami, so she has to speak up this time. Ramona is such an immature jerk. A small buffet has already been put out, and oddly enough, their chef’s name is Ramona. Bethenny says they’re going to do the rooms fairly, and is annoyed that Ramona and Sonja are already scoping out the rooms. When they appear, she tells them they’re not playing the room game, and that nobody acts like this except for them. In her interview, she calls Ramona a grabber. We flash back to Ramona being grabby. She says Sonja isn’t much better; she’s an accomplice.

Bethenny makes the girls pick room numbers from a bowl. Tinsley says she won, and jumps up and down, so I assume she got the most coveted room. Ramona thinks she’s going to be stuck in the shed. Bethenny says karma’s a bitch, and she always shows up – even in Mexico. Ramona tries to get Tinsley to share, but Tinsley gives the room to Bethenny. Ah-ha! (In Nelson voice.)

Ramona is pissed off because Tinsley is staying with Sonja for free, and didn’t give her the room. What a couple of selfish twits. Bethenny sees Ramona and Sonja’s bags in her room, and says get them out. Sonja bitches to Tinsley about giving Bethenny the room. Bethenny tells her this isn’t bringing out the best in her. I have to add that all of the rooms are gorgeous. Carole says the both of them have zero self-awareness. They have no idea what they look like, and maybe don’t care. Ramona continues to act like a moron, asking if they can’t share or whatever. Dorinda has to explain the word lottery to her. Sonja doesn’t want any room that involves going up stairs. In her interview, Carole suggests not drinking so much, and you won’t have to worry about falling down – it’s not that complicated. Ramona continues to berate Tinsley, who says Bethenny planned the trip, and deserves the room.

Ramona and Sonja try to take Dorinda’s room next, and Dorinda asks Bethenny to help mediate. Bethenny wonders if this is normal behavior for grown women, and says, enough; Dorinda switched rooms for them last time. You get what you get and don’t get upset. Tinsley tells them to quit coming at her and being bitchy. Bethenny asks if Sonja would accept her daughter acting like this, and Sonja says no, but she wouldn’t act like this. Bethenny reminds Ramona that Dorinda has been a good friend to her, yet she trashed Dorinda’s place, and calls them room bullies. Ramona is in Dorinda’s bed, and Dorinda tells her to get out or she’s going to throw her stuff in the pool. Bethenny tells Dorinda that Ramona is neither a good nor happy person. Sonja and Ramona gripe all the way to their unwanted room.

As soon as Sonja gets her luggage in the room, Ramona decides to switch rooms. She harasses the guy who helped with her luggage because she’s too tired to unpack. She gives him a bunch of orders for the morning. Holy! Ramona is the worst.

Bethenny tells Carole to enjoy the water while she tries to break her fever. Carole has brought mustaches for everyone. Dorinda says they’re going to play the balloon game, and explains it to Carole, saying they play it in Britain all the time. That explains why I saw it on Ladies of London. Two people try to break a balloon between their bodies, and the team that breaks the most balloons, wins. Dorinda demonstrates on Carole, who calls it a drunk game.

By the pool, Dorinda wonders if Sonja and Ramona are still mad at them. Luann says it should be the other way around. Tinsley talks about how she got lambasted for not giving them the room. Luann rouses Dorinda out of the chaise lounge to go choose their outfits for dinner. Ramona and Sonja are sitting on the beach, and Tinsley thinks Sonja is angry, judging by her body language. In her interview, Carole says she thinks Tinsley is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, and identifying with her captor.

Ramona goes blah-blah-blah to Sonja about how friendships come and go, but Sonja will be in her life forever. Back at the pool, Bethenny says that Ramona brings out the worst in Sonja. They even had two shots at the lottery. Ramona tells Sonja she’s in a good place, and let’s live in the moment. In her interview, Sonja says she’s trying to concentrate on what Ramona is saying, but she looks like a pizza pie. They kiss, and everyone by the pool is like, eww!

Dinner is at seven, it’s eight thirty, and Bethenny is the only one there. Ramona and Sonja are perusing their shoes. Tinsley got an email from someone who said Page Six is doing a story about her not being grateful to Sonja, and it’s not what she needs right now. We flash back, and it sure sounds like Ramona encouraged that story. Sonja tells Ramona that Tinsley is intimidated by Bethenny, and she’s been on her to be more loyal.

Bethenny checks on Carole and Tinsley to hurry them along. She thinks Page Six is stupid, and no one will care anyway. Bethenny asks when Tinsley is moving, and Tinsley hopes it’s soon. Luann shows up at the table. Carole says she usually can’t tell when Luann has had too much to drink, but tonight something is definitely going on. Dorinda has chosen to hole up in her room. Carole calls Sonja, who asks what time dinner is. Sigh. Bethenny says that Ramona trying to put make up on is like throwing an extra deck chair off the QE2. No clue what that means, but Carole finds it amusing.

Carole tells the group about Page Six running the item about Tinsley being ungrateful. Luann wonders who put that out there. Sonja and Ramona finally show up, insisting they’re almost two hours late because their room is so far away. Luann makes a toast to the trip, and thanks Bethenny. Ramona gripes about the toast, and Bethenny asks why she’s an animal. Ramona claims that she’s just being real. Bethenny says that’s interesting, since she needs to own all her stuff. Tinsley brings up Page Six, and Sonja acts ignorant. Tinsley asks who’s talking, and Ramona insists she avoids the press. Carole points out it’s the exact same thing Ramona said to Tinsley the last time they were together, and Tinsley says she doesn’t need this BS. Carole says that Sonja gives Page Six a lot of stories, and Sonja suddenly tries to change things that she’s said. She says who cares, and Tinsley says she does, and tells Ramona to STFU. Ramona wants to know if they’re in high school. That’s rich coming from her. Tinsley gets riled about being called inconsiderate, and Ramona changes what she just said. Almost every one of the Housewives thinks that we have short-term memory loss. In her interview, Bethenny says Sonja loves the press, and thinks it has her name written all over it. Luann has to re-collect herself in a major way, and steps away from the table. At this point, Tinsley is in tears. Bethenny tells Sonja that her friend brings out the worst in her. Bethenny says that some people could never afford this kind of trip (I raise my hand), and the two of them are greedy. She says Sonja needs to change, or she won’t have any friends. Sonja admits to having a bad side, but thinks it’s an overreaction.

Luann and Ramona sit on the steps outside. Ramona says she knows she’s not normal, but the rest of them are acting crazy. She doesn’t believe Sonja put that in the press. Inside, Bethenny tells Sonja to quit blaming Ramona; it’s not a good look.

Luann does a booty shake, and starts to walk down the stairs. She suddenly takes a dive, and falls into the bushes. The two of them laugh hysterically. In her interview, Ramona says out of all of them, Luann holds her liquor the best, so she doesn’t know what happened. One of the staff plucks Luann out of the shrubbery.

Carole and Bethenny try to calm Tinsley down. Bethenny says Sonja doesn’t hear people talk; she just keeps talking. Sonja insists that no one is hearing her side.

Ramona tells Luann that she can’t do anything right by them. Luann takes another spill, and says that’s bad. Ramona bitches about no stairs being there, and gives several other reasons that Luann fell, except the one where she’s drunk off her ass. A staff member helps her to her room.

Ramona tells the others about Luann’s acrobatics. Carole wants Tinsley and Sonja to kiss and make up, but Tinsley says no. Ramona says Tinsley always screeches and it hurts her ears.

Next time, surfing, shopping, the trip to the distillery, and Ramona has it out with both Bethenny and Sonja.

Just Because…

Mexico

Jul13

July 12, 2017 – Valentin Makes the Rounds, Ramona Invites Herself to Mexico & Lotsa Lamb

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

At the hospital, Bobbie asks Carly how the wedding was. Carly says it was amazing, and the happy couple is… happy. Bobbie says, a good time was had by all, but Carly tells her not all. Michael brought Nelle as his date.

Nelle tells Nina she has a visitor in her office. Nina assumes it’s Valentin, but it’s Julian. He says he has news for her; the party is over.

Valentin is right behind him though, and walks into the reception area. Nelle thought he was out of the country. He says he’s back, and asks if Nina is in.

Laura tells Doc that she wishes Spencer would take interest in more activities, but right now he’s just interested in the play.

Spencer practices Hamlet in the park. Josslyn sees him, and says it’s a depressing play. At a certain point, she stopped feeling sorry for Hamlet, because he was always feeling sorry for himself. Spencer says there’s no nobler mission than to avenge a father’s death.

Jason and Sonny talk about the wedding. Sonny wants to discuss business. He has something that he thinks will benefit both of them. In her head, Sonny tells Sam that they’re doing business like old times.

Laura asks Doc if she’s doing the right thing. He says that Spencer needs structure and to be with kids his own age. She’s concerned that she can’t distract him from his vendetta, but Doc thinks it’s just a way to keep his father in his life. He thinks they should give him as many opportunities to talk about Nicholas as possible, and maybe they can find better/healthier ways for him to connect to his father.

Josslyn says that Spencer would make a great Rum Tum Tugger (from Cats – which would be even more ambitious than Hamlet for a children’s camp), but he says that he’s better in darker roles; it’s complex, demanding, and takes total focus. She suggests he take a break and do some other activities, but Spencer says that he doesn’t have time for making lanyards and roasting marshmallows.

Carly tells Bobbie about Sonny apologizing to Josslyn, and her not having it. Bobbie says it’s understandable. Carly shouldn’t tolerate disrespect, but Josslyn is allowed her feelings. Carly says that Bobbie is no fan of Sonny’s either. Bobbie tells her that she doesn’t doubt Carly’s love for him, but something always gets in the way.

Mirage Sonny tells Sam that the closer Jason is to him, the farther he is from her and the kids, and the closer he is to death. Jason asks if she’s okay, and she makes something up. She says she has to be somewhere, and asks him to watch the kids.

Nina asks Julian what he’s doing in her office. He says checking on his holdings. He tells her that Crimson is doing well under her leadership. She thanks him, and says not so much the rest of his subsidiaries. He’d better get on it before there’s a hostile takeover.

Nelle tells Valentin that Nina is in a meeting, and he says he’ll wait. He asks about her health and if she’d like to come back as Charlotte’s nanny. She says she just started at Crimson, and he says that as long as she’s working for Nina, she’ll still be in Charlotte’s life. Julian leaves, and Nina sees Valentin.

Doc tells Laura that he’s more worried about her than Spencer. He sees her being strong and meeting Spencer’s needs, but he’s not sure that she’s taking care of her own. He thinks she’s afraid that if she eases up, the loss will overcome her. Laura says she supposes there are consequences for dating a psychiatrist, but Doc says he’s speaking as a partner who loves her. She says they’re coming to the one year anniversary of Nicholas’s death. He asks if it helps that Valentin is gone. Julian pops in out of nowhere, and says Valentin is in Port Charles; he just saw him.

Oscar joins Josslyn, and she introduces him to Spencer. Oscar says it must have been cool to go to a school overseas, but Spencer says he prefers being closer to home; better to reclaim what’s his.

Valentin asks if Nina will see him, and she says let’s get it over with. She asks what he wants, and he says he spent a lot of time imagining her face and smile, and wanted to see her in person. She tells him that she doesn’t have time for this, but he says that he wants to buy an ad for his new non-profit. It offers a safe haven for racehorses that would otherwise be destroyed. He’s named the rescue after her.

Sonny tells Jason that he’s sure Sam is dealing with him getting shot. Jason says she was never like that before, but Sonny says things change. He asks if Jason would like to partner with him in a completely legit business venture.

Carly tells Bobbie that she wants to focus on Michael and why he’s with Nelle. He has good judgement, but feels compassionate toward her, and gave her opening she needed. She says she asked Nelle if it was about revenge. Bobbie asks if Carly caused a scene. Carly says no, but she didn’t do herself any favors; Michael told her to butt out. Bobbie asks if she’s going to listen to him, and Carly says hell no. Nelle is a train wreck waiting to happen, and will end up hurting Michael if she doesn’t do something about it.

Julian explains to Doc and Laura about seeing Valentin at Nina’s office. Doc wonders how it’s possible. Laura says she has to call Lulu.

Valentin tells Nina about how he bought a farm for the horses, and will have children and veterans help rehabilitate them. Covering all the bases, I see. She says it’s beautiful, but transparent; he’s trying to lure her back. He says not lure, but he is trying to get on her good side. She says it doesn’t cancel out what he’s done, and the people he’s hurt, like Spencer. She tells him it’s not about the inheritance, but that he killed Spencer’s father. Valentin says that Nicholas faked his own death, and the rest is open to interpretation.

Spencer tells Oscar that his sinister uncle stole his inheritance, but a peasant like him wouldn’t understand. Josslyn is like, hey! and says she thought he stopped calling people peasants. She tells him that Oscar is a good guy. Oscar wants to get snacks, but Spencer wants to continue practicing for the play. Oscar misunderstands, saying oh, that’s what he was talking about, and that it sounded like he was saying it actually happened. Spencer says it did, and that’s why he’s qualified to play the Dane prince. His real uncle murdered his real father, and stole his inheritance. Josslyn says maybe that’s not the way to go, since Hamlet ended up destroying himself. Spencer says he’s smarter than that.

Carly tells Bobbie that ideally, Nelle will be serving time, and Michael will realize who she really is. Bobbie says Michael has his own life, but Carly says he’s the only son she has left. Bobbie tells her she’s going to lose him.

Sonny tells Jason about a property that he scored when the developer ran out of money. He wants to create a mixed retail and office space. He says it’s a big job, and he needs a partner.

Sam flies into the MetroCourt. Julian is at the bar, and she tells him that she has to talk to him. He thought that she was never speaking to him again, but she says that depends on how the conversation goes. She tells him that Sonny says he’s going legit. Julian says that’s never going to happen, but all she cares about is keeping Jason out of it. If Julian wants a relationship with her and the kids, he’d better care too. Julian thinks he missed something, since Jason has been out of the business for a while. Sam says that Jason dropped everything to warn Sonny about Marvy Garvy. Julian says that doesn’t mean he’s thinking about going back, but Sam says that Jason has loyalty toward Sonny, and she’ll do anything to prevent him getting involved. She asks what he would do. He says if she’s looking for a guarantee, there’s only one option – get rid of Sonny.

Jason tells Sonny that it’s not for him. Sonny says it’s a legit opportunity, and he doesn’t need money, just participation. Jason tells him that there are a lot of great people out there. Sonny says it’s above board, vanilla and mainstream as it comes, but Jason says that people will think it’s a front, and that he’s taking over. He can’t risk it.

Bobbie says she knows that Carly wants to protect Michael, but he made the decision to forgive Nelle. She doesn’t want to back him into a corner. If she does things her way, she could lose him for good, but if she doesn’t, Nelle will take him away. Carly says either way she loses, and Bobbie asks if she honestly didn’t think she wouldn’t come up with a third option.

Nina tells Nelle to warn her next time Julian comes around. She says he’s a liar and a criminal, and tried to undermine the magazine; she can’t trust him. She was going to say she couldn’t trust Valentin either, but there hasn’t been an ounce of proof that he’s committed any crime or broken any law. Nelle asks if she’s happy that he’s back, and Nina says no, they’re divorced. It doesn’t matter; it’s over. Nelle just nods and goes, uh-huh, like she doesn’t believe it. Me neither.

Laura tells Doc that Lulu had a run in with Valentin last night. She asks Doc to come with her to the camp. She wants to get Spencer home before Valentin can get near him.

Spencer continues to practice in the park. Valentin steps out, and applauds. He says that he absolutely believes Spencer could kill a man. He tells Spencer that he wants to talk; things between them are unresolved and they are family. He says he brought a peace offering, and shows Spencer a ring that Mikkos gave to all of his sons to bring them good luck. He wants to pass it on to Spencer. Spencer says that Valentin killed his father. If he thinks that a ring will make them even, he couldn’t be more wrong – dead wrong.

Julian tells Sam that it’s not easy to walk away from the business; it’s almost impossible. Sonny knows too much, and he’d have to turn the territory over to someone he trusts. Sam says that would be Jason, and she’ll lose the family peace that she’s cultivated. Hallucination Sonny tells her that there’s only one way, and too bad she doesn’t have the guts to do it. She says that she has to finish what she started, and tells Julian not to tell anyone about their conversation, not even her mother. He asks if she’s okay, and she says obviously not, since she came to him for help. Outside, she calls someone and asks if they’re still in business. She’d like to make a purchase. Too bad she missed Amazon Prime day.

Jason tells Sonny that it’s not personal. Sonny says he can’t argue it, and Jason says he has faith that Sonny will get out. He asks if they’re cool, and Sonny says they are. He’s going to talk to Michael about a joint venture. He tells Jason to hang on to the papers, so he can give Michael an honest second opinion. Jason thinks he can make it work. Sonny gets a call and has to go.

On the phone in the hallway, Sonny asks Diane to tell him something good. He says, okay, he’ll tell her the good news right away.

Oscar tells Josslyn that Spencer is interesting. She says they’re kind of related. She knows he can be a lot, but there’s a reason. His mom died when he was a baby, so he was close with his dad who was killed last summer. He was supposedly murdered, but no one knows what really happened. The guy was never charged because there wasn’t enough evidence. Oscar says she has a dramatic family, and Josslyn says tell her about it.

Carly says Bobbie just gave her a lecture on sucking it up. Bobbie says that’s not what she said; she told Carly that her plan would backfire and drive Michael away, but it’s not the only way. They need to gather facts about Nelle and arrange for Michael to find out. Carly says he already knows she has a shady past, but Bobbie asks if she thinks it ends there. One secret leads to one hundred secrets.

Carly likes the plan, but says it only works if Nelle has skeletons and if they can find them. Bobbie says it will only work if she keeps her distance. Bobbie calls Felicia, and asks her to find out the rest of Nelle’s story.

Nina tells Nelle that she’s glad Valentin is back for Charlotte’s sake, and the horses at Windemere. And the racehorses at the non-profit he’s put in her name. Nelle is impressed, but Nina says it’s just a gesture and doesn’t change anything. Nelle doesn’t want to overstep, but points out that obviously Nina still loves him. Nina says love isn’t enough, and Nelle asks what it would take. She says to see the future, and know that the future is more important to him than the demons of the past.

Valentin tells Spencer that maybe there’s something he could do to even the scales. He holds out the ring, but Laura and Doc show up. Laura tells him to stay away from her grandson. Spencer tells him to keep the ring; he’ll make his own luck. Valentin can see if the ring helps him when it’s buried with him.

Sam comes home. She asks Jason about the papers, and he explains about Sonny’s project. She says if Jason isn’t going to be involved, why leave the paperwork? Imaginary Sonny says that’s a good question. Jason tells her that Sonny wants Jason to look them over for Michael. She asks what if it’s an excuse, and Sonny thinks he’ll change his mind? Jason promises he’s not going back. Scout cries, and Jason goes upstairs. Not Real Sonny asks if she believes it. Sam says it doesn’t matter; she’s going to make sure it’s not an option, and points a gun at him.

Josslyn tells Oscar that her dad might be away, but he’s alive and well, and her mom is with her. It was selfish and shallow to complain. Oscar says when they start complaining, they should have a special code word they can say to put a lid on it. Josslyn asks if they’re never supposed to complain, but he says there should be a limit. He says the word should be something meaningful to both of them. I swear they say, “bird’s nest,” but that can’t be right. Could it?

At the park, Sonny shows up and asks to talk to Josslyn. She says she has to get back to work; her break is over. He promises that it’s good news, but she’s not interested. Oscar steps in and says she doesn’t want to talk. Sonny says he seems like a good kid, but it doesn’t involve him. Oscar says to leave her alone or he’ll have a problem.

Tomorrow, Carly says she’ll outplay Nelle, Felicia tells Nathan that Maxie thinks he’s keeping something from her, and Lucy visits Scotty with something that can’t wait.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Bethenny goes over the Mexico trip with her director, Joanne. She’ll feel personally responsible if everything isn’t perfect. Omg, more tequila. It’s like tequila week. Bethenny wants to see how the sausage gets made, so they’re going to the distillery, and having a tasting. She says she hasn’t invited Ramona, but since she’ll show up anyway, Bethenny is trying to make sure she arrives later.

Luann and Ramona meet for coffee. Luann asks if Ramona is coming. Ramona says she didn’t get an official invite, but thinks she will.

Carole visits Bethenny at her office. She says she went to court with Adam to get his security deposit back from his last apartment. She was channeling her political angst in another direction, but the landlord never showed up, so Adam won by default. In her interview, Bethenny says Carole is the one person who would want to do jury duty. Not if she lived in Queens. Carole tells Bethenny about getting a text from Ramona. Bethenny says she did too, saying that Ramona is sorry for what she’s going through.

Ramona tells Luann about the text, and remarks on how terrible suckerfish Jason Hoppy is. She says that she was wrong in what she said to Bethenny in Vermont, and Luann says to blame it on the booze. In her interview, Ramona says she has to reach out in a non-confrontational way, or she’ll lose the friendship, and she doesn’t want that to happen. Ramona wonders if Bethenny will exclude her. My Lord, for someone who fears being excluded so much, Ramona certainly acts like a monumental idiot.

Carole tells Bethenny that Ramona is hard to break up with. Ha-ha! Bethenny tells her about the trip schedule, and how she doesn’t want Ramona to ruin the day that she celebrates her business. Ramona won’t be coming when they go to the distillery. Bethenny doesn’t trust her.

Sonja goes to a hair removal salon. She says everyone is hairless except her, and she wants to deal with it before Mexico. I’m not repeating everything else she says. TMI. Way too much. She talks about missing Edgar (Frenchie). Then we get TMI about the men who come into the salon.

Dorinda is throwing a pre-Mexico, post-Vermont dinner at a steakhouse. Carole says she has the perfect guy for Tinsley, and they have a date on Saturday. Dorinda thinks that Tinsley should cut her hair. In her interview, she says long hair on an older woman can make her the Lyceum from the back, and a museum from the front. Tinsley is excited about the upcoming date, and they all look at his picture on Carole’s phone. She says he’s an internet entrepreneur, and creates promo codes for websites. Bethenny arrives. In an incredible new haircut, as though she’d heard Dorinda’s words. No museum for her. In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny greeted everyone except her, but she’s not going to be ruffled. Carole and Dorinda talk about a strip club steakhouse. Luann gets there last, and asks if she can bring anything for the trip. In her interview, she says that she’s only at the dinner to find out if Ramona is coming to Mexico. She tells Bethenny that she’s going to be coming on the same day as everyone else, and in her interview, Bethenny says thanks – in some cases, size does matter. Luann asks Bethenny if she’s inviting Ramona, but Bethenny says she doesn’t want her coming to the distillery. She’s barely adjusting to being at the same table.

Tinsley says she’s moving to a hotel, and plans on being there for two months. Her stuff is still in Florida, and she’s always wanted to be Eloise. Sonja’s newly darkened eyebrows are discussed. Sonja seems to be confused about Tinsley’s move. She wonders why Tinsley would stay with her to get a fresh start, and then go to a hotel. Um… because she’s tired of living with you? Tinsley tells her not to act like she’s blindsided, and don’t be mad at her.

Luann tells Bethenny to just do it, and Bethenny says she’ll have to just rip the bandage off. She sits next to Ramona, and tells her that it’s an uncomfortable situation. She doesn’t want to exclude Ramona, but she’s uncomfortable because of how Ramona has treated her, and doesn’t know how to deal with the situation. Bethenny notices that Tinsley is listening, and tells her MYOB. Bethenny says Ramona tries to make her feel like a failure, and Ramona justifies her remarks. Ramona says that Bethenny has said negative things about her too. In her interview, Ramona doesn’t like how Bethenny is trying to make up, but criticizing her at the same time. Ramona goes blah-blah-blah about her divorce, saying that she was married a billion years, and Bethenny was only married for two. Like being married to wannabe Hoppy for five minutes wouldn’t seem like a billion years. She tells Bethenny not to compare their lives, and to have more respect and sympathy for her. Bethenny says that she’s changed her mind; she doesn’t want Ramona to come on the trip. Ramona says that it’s a group trip and she’s coming, but won’t go to the distillery. This is the most horrific part of Ramona. She suddenly goes off like a rocket – no, into another stratosphere – about something irrational and/or irrelevant, and then acts like she didn’t just do that. And what is it with these reality show people who invite themselves to things they are intentionally not invited to? Sonja thinks Ramona should just let Bethenny speak her mind. Ramona starts crying, and Bethenny says she’s not interested in the waterworks. Ramona says it’s not always about her. Of course not. It’s always about Ramona. Carole thinks this is way too intense for what it is. Because everyone should react like her. In her interview, Bethenny says that Ramona is afraid of being rejected, and when she doesn’t get response she wants, she gets bitchy. Ramona calls Bethenny superficial. Bethenny brings up Ramona saying that she had sex to get where she is, but Ramona conveniently doesn’t remember saying that. In her interview, Dorinda says that Ramona should just be opportunistic, and get the invitation (IKR?); it’s not the place to be assertive and combative. Ramona says people fight and get over it, and she doesn’t need negative energy. She’s the mothering type, and realizes that Bethenny doesn’t want that. Ramona says they’re like oil and vinegar, and Bethenny corrects that to oil and water. Bethenny says that there’s nothing left to say. I swear, even if I’d been in the middle of that argument, I’d have literally LOL’d when Ramona said oil and vinegar.

Sonja tells Ramona that she handled it wrong. Ramona says she’s coming, but not to the distillery. Bethenny is like, hello? I’m sitting right here. That’s another thing. These women will be within two feet of each other and talk like the other one isn’t there. That’s how into themselves they are. In her interview, Sonja says she’s not excusing Ramona’s behavior, but she doesn’t like seeing Bethenny steamroll her, and says it’s Game of Thrones bad. Well, not quite. No one has been flayed alive…yet. Ramona says it wasn’t her intention to hurt Bethenny, and doesn’t know how to fix it. Bethenny says Ramona has done nasty and malicious things to her. Ramona insists that she wasn’t nasty in Vermont. Bethenny, having had enough, suggests they make a pact not to be mean, and just move forward. In her interview, Bethenny says she just agreed to a big bag of BS.

Ramona leaves, and Bethenny apologizes for snapping at Tinsley. Sonja asks if Ramona is coming on the trip, and Bethenny says she didn’t have a choice. She told Ramona that she didn’t want her to come, and she said she was coming. Ramona is like a cockroach that won’t die.

Ramona goes to work with her trainer, Kerry. In her interview, she says it’s good news to be invited to Mexico, but bad news about the truce. She’s not so sure it will happen. Well, it won’t if Ramona drinks, that’s for sure. She says that she has to work off the calories because she’s not giving up her wine. There goes that then. She blabs to Kerry about some guy she met, who said he didn’t mind watching her with another man. In her interview, she says dating is a mine field, where you have to navigate between bombs and goods. Yeah, I’m glad I don’t have to be out there. I don’t think I could be out there.

Carole and Adam join Scott to meet Tinsley. Tinsley is pleasantly surprised, saying he’s cuter in person, and he’s obviously happy. He loves Tito’s vodka, and Tinsley says he’s her man. They high-five. She’s wearing fishnet tights, and his eyes nearly fall out of his head. Carole talks about Scott having a place in Las Vegas, and Tinsley says that she had her 30th birthday there. It turns out Tinsley, Carole, and Scott were all born in August. They talk about Tinsley getting married secretly when she was a senior in high school.

In her interview, Carole says rule number one is don’t talk about your ex. She thinks Scott is a nice guy. and playing along, and that Tinsley needs a genuine nice guy. Carole says he’s never been married, and they talk about him moving away from the company and traveling more. He says that he’s a computer nerd and boring. Instead of surfing, he likes to hang by the pool. Tinsley says that’s right up her alley. In her interview, Carole says she knew they’d get along, and if they get married, she’ll be a hero. Tinsley says that she doesn’t like the taste of alcohol, but it makes her feel more like herself. That’s Carole’s second rule. She thinks Tinsley’s been talking too much about her ex and drinking, and needs a time out to get the date back on track. She drags Tinsley aside, under the guise of using the bathroom.

Carole asks what Tinsley thinks, and Tinsley says she likes him. Carole tells her maybe don’t talk about the alcohol so much, but we can see she’s already drunk. Carole says no on the ex too. Tinsley says this is new to her, and she’s glad Carole is there to keep her in check. Back at the table, Tinsley takes off her wedding ring, that she’s been wearing on her pinkie, and Carole says that it’s a step in the right direction. Scott hugs Tinsley, and she lays a massive kiss on him. He asks what else they can get rid of.

The girls get ready for the trip. Ramona talks to Dorinda, who says to go with a positive attitude, and who knows? By the end of the trip, they might be singing Kumbaya and braiding each other’s hair. Dorinda has never been to Mexico, and asks what to pack. Ramona lists all the stuff she’s bringing, and Dorinda realizes that she forgot to pack bathing suits. This is getting to be a habit with her.

Next time, beautiful Mexico, Ramona complains about her room, skinny(girl) dipping, Luann takes a spill, and no surprise, lots of fighting.

🍴 I need to get to bed early, so I had to skip The f Word (sniff… it’s one of my favorites), but I’ll catch it On Demand over the weekend. I might as well. All the money I pay for FIOS, and they think no one watches TV on the weekend until Sunday night. Then everything is on all at once. Looking forward to Game of Thrones.

🍜 I did catch MasterChef though. Gordon taught the contestants how to cut lamb chops. Geez. That made me think of Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop (google it), and I’ll end up being a vegetarian yet. Come to think of it though, whose brilliant idea was it to name a cute puppet after a cut of meat? It’s kind of cruel. Reba told Gordon she had never had lamb before, and he asked about her hunting skills. One of the things she hunts and cooks up is squirrel. Did you know that the brains are “succulent and delicious?” Me neither. And I never will. Yep, veganism, here I come. It was all about the lamb in the challenge too. Gordon told Sam that his dish was an “insult to the cut.” Ouch! Jennifer was called out for being a basket case before Gordon even took a bite, and he told her to stay composed and not show her weakness. Her lamb was fine, but I’m surprised they haven’t let her go on emotional level alone. At the end, it was between Sam and Newton, whose lamb was undercooked and Christina wasn’t too happy with the breading. Gordon asked one of them to take their apron off, and Sam bowed out. Gordon said he wasn’t ready yet, and Sam made a gracious exit, saying that the criticism made him stronger. Newton appreciated Sam taking a bullet for him, and said he’ll have to rise to the occasion. Next time, the contestants put together a 5-star restaurant, and a breakfast, with scrambled eggs back to haunt them again. There’s also going to be a fish and chips pressure test.

shari-lewis-and-lamb-chop-at-the-childrens-museum

Shari Lewis & Lamb Chop at the Children’s Museum

Jul6

July 5, 2017 – Sam Goes Over the Edge, a Toast to Friendship & Some Odds & Ends

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny goes through some paperwork, and thinks he’s found the exit ramp he’s looking for.

Jason takes Sam to the doctor. He says whatever it is, even if it’s nothing, they’re in this together. Sonny texts, asking if he’s free.

Molly and Alexis meet TJ and Aunt Stella for dinner.

Jordan tells Curtis that Obrecht is awaiting arraignment. Curtis asks if she wants to celebrate, but she says she has to arrest him too.

Anna and Andre have apparently danced through the holiday weekend. He asks if she feels better, and she suggests putting a dance floor in his office. She asks if he’s good, and he kisses her. I guess that answers her question.

Nina gets a call and says she’ll accept it. It’s Valentin calling from The Hauge in the Netherlands. He says it’s good to hear her voice. Nina asks how it’s possible, and he says he gets the occasional phone call. He called Charlotte, but it went to voicemail. She wonders if he called for her to give a message to Charlotte, but he says he misses her and loves her. She asks if a trial date has been set, and he tells her that there isn’t going to be one.

Andre tells Anna they should forget it happened, and Anna asks if that’s what he wants. If not, maybe they can go back to her place.

Jason tells Sam that he’ll call Sonny later. Sam hates that Jason is worried about her. The doctor comes out, introducing himself as Dr. David Bench. He says he prefers to meet with Sam alone, and she suggests Jason find out what Sonny wanted; it might be good news for a change.

Stella is happy to get to know Alexis, and looks forward to meeting the rest of the family. Alexis asks if she has kids, and Stella says her sister’s kids are enough. She wonders where Curtis is, and TJ says he couldn’t make it; he’s working.

Jordan tells Curtis that she has no choice but to arrest him for unlawful access to medical records. Curtis is flabbergasted, and says that Monica set it up. He realizes that Jordan is teasing him, and she says she got him good. He asks her to come have a drink with him. She says one drink. He says, and nothing more, but in the next scene, they’re at her place, getting busy. And there’s a song part. You know when there’s music with lyrics playing, things are serious.

Stella tells Alexis that she thinks TJ is trying to cover up that she and Curtis had a rough patch. Having three daughters, Alexis says she knows all about rough patches. She adds that Curtis is probably working on a case. Her son-in-law works with him occasionally.

Jordan tells Curtis that it was a mistake. Curtis says that she’s denying how she really feels. The past is the past, and they deserve happiness. She tells him to try telling that to Stella. He says Stella’s feelings aren’t the only ones to consider. TJ is cool with them, and they can’t deny how they feel. He says they can’t live their life looking backwards, and if it offends Stella, she’ll have to live with it. He thinks they’re on the verge of building something special, and doesn’t want to give it up

Nina asks if he’s cutting a deal, but Valentin says no. He says that he’s not going to make it through the preliminaries. The Chimera’s existence embarrasses the WSB, and they’re going to make him disappear. She says if anything like that happens, she’ll contact all of the publishers she knows, in addition to splashing it on the cover of Crimson. Valentin tells her that she’ll only bring trouble to herself, and all she should reveal is that he was arrested and she cut him out of her life. He’s sorry he had Charlotte believe he was coming back; it was the wish of a desperate father. He apologizes for bothering her, but wanted to hear her voice. He hangs up.

Andre tells Anna that he dislikes scrutinizing a moment to death when not on the clock, but doesn’t want to ruin a good thing for a night of satisfaction. Anna’s phone rings. It’s Nina. She says she needs to talk to her about Valentin.

Dr. Bench asks Sam what the problem is, and she says that Jason wanted her to get checked out. They’ve been having disagreements and she’s been more short-tempered than usual. He says it could be lack of sleep, and wonders if there’s anything else. She says she thinks there is something in her life that’s off.

Jason goes to Pozzulo’s. Sonny thanks him for the warning about the Garvster, who is now in the hospital, but will be going to prison. He says he’s making a decision, and wants Jason to know first. He’s giving up the territory and getting out of the business.

At Nina’s office, Nina tells Anna that Valentin told her he wouldn’t live to stand trial, and the WSB will make him disappear to avoid publicity. She says she doesn’t understand. Aren’t they the good guys? Would they really kill him, and what can they do to stop it?

Stella compliments Alexis on how she raised Molly, and Alexis says TJ is no slouch either. Alexis says she has a tendency to swoop in and “save” her kids, but made a promise to keep her nose out of it. Stella asks what she would do if one of her daughters was responsible for another daughter’s death, and if she wouldn’t interfere.

Jordan says that Curtis is the one who will pay for it if they ignore Stella’s feelings. He says she may raise some hell, but she’ll come around eventually. Jordan doesn’t think she’s going to get past it anytime soon. He says that she’s not the only stubborn one in the family, and he’s chosen Jordan.

Sam tells Dr. Bench that she doesn’t feel like herself, but he wants her to be more specific. He asks what was going on the last time she felt like that. In her head, she tells herself to be careful or she’ll get sent away. She tells him about how her opinion changed on something, and it’s caused her and Jason to clash more. The doctor says he can’t say there’s nothing wrong yet, and asks if she’s familiar with postpartum depression. He suggests a blood test.

Sonny tells Jason that it’s been a long time coming, and that he and Carly changed their minds about the divorce. He decided that if they survived, he would leave the business. He says he’s starting a new life like Jason did. Jason asks what makes him think he can pull it off, and Sonny asks if he doubts his sincerity or his ability. Jason says someone will want to take his place and might want to make sure he can’t come back. Sonny says he can’t keep trying to stay with the control and power if it means he’ll lose the people he loves. Life is too short. He knows it takes more than a resignation letter, but he has to do it. He says it has to be careful planning, and Jason says he needs a successor who won’t screw it up or come after him. He asks if that’s why he’s there.

Dr. Bench comes back with the initial results. Fastest. Lab. Tests. Ever. Sam has an iron deficiency, and he tells her that it can cause physical symptoms that possibly affect moods. He wants her to schedule another appointment for more tests. Sam sees Sonny in her head, and he tells her that what’s wrong with her can’t be fixed.

Stella and Alexis agree not to take a one size fits all approach to discussing each other’s families. Stella says she doesn’t interfere, but has a knack for making her feelings known to get the desired results. How that isn’t the same thing, I’m not sure. Curtis and Jordan walk into the restaurant together.

Anna tells Nina that Valentin has reason not to trust the WSB, but she knows the head guy, and he’d never make Valentin disappear. Nina says her understanding of the situation doesn’t matter, but Valentin does. If she hadn’t told Anna where he was, he, Nina, and Charlotte would all be together. What if she’s wrong, and they find out he disappeared? Who’s going to tell Charlotte that he’s never coming back?

Valentin writes Nina a thank you letter for the happiest months of his life. She gave him a chance to be better, and for a while he was. He’s sorry to have given her reasons to doubt him. He swears he loves her and always will. Their time together was a gift for both him and Charlotte. He says Charlotte will always have her, and begs Nina to stay in her life. He wishes he could have given both of them more.

Anna tells Nina that it’s espionage, plain and simple, and it’s a crime. Nina says it’s convenient that her friend is head of the WSB, and asks if he turned his head regarding her sister. Anna says that Nina has no idea what she’s saying. Nina says all she knows is that everything was amazing until Anna showed up, breaking into their house and accusing Valentin of all kinds of things, and then her sister took over. Now he’s in prison and thinks he’s going to die, and Anna says she should trust the bureau. Anna says they’re not going to kill him, but they’ll see him convicted. She advises Nina to distance herself. If he calls again, it might be better for both of them if she doesn’t pick up.

Alexis thanks Stella for the evening, and leaves. Stella tells Curtis that he just missed TJ and Molly, and he says he didn’t know they were having a family dinner. Stella sarcastically says that’s because he was working, and too bad he couldn’t make the time. He tells her that Molly and TJ don’t need any additional drama. He made the mistake of giving in to Stella’s every wish, but he’s corrected that mistake now.

Sonny tells Jason that he hasn’t figured it out yet. Whoever he chooses might come after Jason, and he says Jason should be ready for that. Jason sees a text from Sam saying that she’s been delayed at the hospital. Sonny toasts to a peaceful transition. He says who knows what’s coming next, and Jason says whatever it is, they’ll handle it.

In her head, Sonny tells Sam that the only way to solve the problem is to get rid of what’s distracting Jason. Dr. Bench gives Sam some advice and another appointment date. He tells her to call if she needs to come in sooner. He leaves, and as Sam is about to walk out, she eyeballs a tray of surgical instruments.

Andre sees Anna, and asks what brings her to the hospital. She says that she thought he’d be there, and stumbles over her words, saying that she thought they could pick up where they left off.

Nina looks at the family photo on her desk, and remembers when Valentin gave her the engagement ring. She takes off her wedding ring set.

Valentin folds the letter. A huge man comes in, and Valentin says he’s not the regular. Dude says he’s with the WSB. Valentin asks him to take the letter, but he says that’s not his job. He tells Valentin to stand up, and cuffs him.  He takes him out of the cell. I’m hoping that he’s an emissary from Alex.

Stella says that Curtis is treating the family with shame and disrespect. He tells her that she’ll have to respect he’s with Jordan. Jordan asks if they can’t co-exist respectfully for TJ’s sake. Stella suddenly keels over and falls to the floor.

Jason gets to the hospital, and Dr. Bench tells him that Sam left already.

Sam shows up at Pozzulo’s. Sonny tells her that she just missed Jason, but she says she came to see him. She wants to give him a gift. She pulls out a surgical scalpel, and stabs him repeatedly.

Tomorrow, a fire happens, Olivia-F has a bachelorette party, and Carly wants to talk to Josslyn about her father.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona makes breakfast in Vermont. Dorinda’s stuff has finally arrived. She doesn’t want to go skiing with the others because she doesn’t want to be on the bunny hill with the six-year-olds, or injure herself before the Mexico trip.

Bethenny tells Tinsley that she has compassion for her. In her interview, she says that Tinsley seems like a mess, and she doesn’t want to add to it. Tinsley tells her that she felt like people wanted her to just get over it, but Bethenny tells her she should take whatever time she needs. Tinsley is happy that they’ve cleared the air.

Sonja tells Luann that she’s getting it that Luann is married; she’s transitioning. In her interview, Luann asks if this is a partouze, which is basically French for a threesome. She says that Sonja seems to act like her relationship is a joke and says inappropriate things. We flash back to Sonja talking about them having sex with the same guy (i.e. Tom). Sonja says she just wants to be herself, but it’s hard because inappropriateness comes with the territory. Luann wants an apology, but says Sonja won’t apologize to save her life. Sonja feels like she’s apologized enough, and complains to the others that she hates having rules, but she’s going to try for Luann. Dorinda suggests she drop it for the rest of the time they’re in Vermont, which is probably like waving a red flag at a bull.

Tinsley and Luann both have red ski jackets, and Luann thinks they look like a Swiss ski patrol. Ramona yaps about how much she’s been doing, and Dorinda says she took the Catholic guilt option and gave Ramona the bigger room. Everyone else leaves for skiing, and she breathes a sigh of relief.

Luann says it’s perfect weather for skiing – both snow and sunshine. Ramona isn’t a fan of East Coast skiing because it can be powdery on top, but icy underneath. She captures a young ski instructor to help her. In her interview, Sonja says Ramona can hot dog behind him on the slopes, but nothing romantic is going to happen. Luann thinks it’s a miracle that Ramona still has her clothes on.

Carole stays behind with Dorinda; she prefers going to the lodge. She tells Dorinda how nice it was of her to switch rooms with Ramona, and about how Luann complained about her room. Dorinda says married or not, first come, first served. She’s also annoyed with Sonja for the comments she’s made about Tom.

Luann complains on the ski lift about Sonja’s inappropriate (word of the day) comments. She says she thinks because Sonja has been single for so long, she’s forgotten how it works. In her interview, Luann talks about how Bethenny has SkinnyGirl everything, including a car. The instructor takes a picture for them, and in her interview Bethenny compares him and Ramona to a baby chicken and a barracuda.

Carole tells Dorinda that she feels like Tinsley was ganged up on. Dorinda says after leaving an abusive relationship, it’s like having PTSD. On the slopes, Ramona wishes Tinsley would get out of her way, because she wants the hill to herself. Bethenny is snowboarding, and says the trip couldn’t have come at a better time.

Dorinda says everybody handles their stuff differently. Carole says wannabe Jason is gaslighting Bethenny, even though she’s kept her mouth shut about him publicly. She shows Dorinda a Page Six article, and says that it’s a game changer. The suckerfish has been arrested for stalking, and the article talks about him showing up at Bryn’s school. Dorinda wonders if he’s lost his mind. No. He never had one. She doesn’t know how Bethenny holds it all together. Carole says she thought it would go away after the settlement, but it got worse, and he wouldn’t let up.

Ramona makes a point of telling the instructor that she’s single. In her interview, she thinks Bethenny is acting like they’re in middle school, and a question mark forms over my head. Because she’s snowboarding instead of skiing?

On the lift, Bethenny tells Tinsley that she couldn’t sleep because of anxiety over their conversation. She says the Mexico trip will be a challenge. Luann reminds Bethenny that she’s going to arrive later, giving Bethenny the idea to invite Ramona to come halfway through. Half of the trip will be good, and the other half will be psychotic.

Ramona drags the ski instructor back to the lodge. It turns out he’s from an area where Dorinda lived, and Ramona asks him to get her something to drink, because she doesn’t like his attention being divided. When he goes to the bar, Ramona says how sweet he is. Carole says he gets paid to be sweet, and in her interview, thinks Ramona is a rude flirt. After the instructor returns, Ramona wants him to get something for Dorinda, but Dorinda tells her that he’s not a waiter. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s awkward; he knows what’s going on, and it’s past cougar. Ramona makes a toast to how great everything is. Sonja asks if everyone is good, and Dorinda says yes, she feels her drinks kicking in.

Ramona thinks Bethenny is having difficulties. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t like to pry, and goes by people’s reactions and actions. Bethenny isn’t sure how much to say, since there are some people she doesn’t trust. By that I think she means Ramona. Tinsley is on antidepressants, and in her interview, Carole says she’s not a shrink, but knows you’re not supposed to drink when you’re taking them. Dorinda and Bethenny discuss relationships. Bethenny says she’s private about certain things, and Dorinda tells her that if she wants to talk about it, she’s there. Tinsley is annoyed that Ramona has her bare feet on the coffee table. I would be too.

The ladies go back to their lodging. Carole tells Bethenny she confided in Dorinda, but noticed it’s blowing up anyway. I love Bethenny’s sweater, and wonder if she knitted it herself. In her interview, she says she just wants some relief and normalcy.

Luann tries to light a fire in the gas fireplace. At first it does nothing, then overcompensates. She wonders if she still has her eyebrows.

A few guys from a local restaurant arrive. Ramona met some restaurateurs on the mountain, and set up a dinner for the girls. Ramona does Sonja’s hair, and in her interview, Luann wonders if Ramona was kicked out of beauty school for being mean. Luann asks if Sonja and Ramona were invited to Mexico, and Ramona says she wasn’t. Luann tells them about Bethenny saying Ramona should come for a few days, since Luann is going to be late. In her interview, Ramona feels slighted for the backhanded invite.

Dorinda says Tinsley is a professional shopper and professional day drinker, amending the latter to Olympic style. Ramona tells Sonja that she didn’t feel any bad energy from Bethenny. Sonja wonders if they’re on the same planet, because she thought Bethenny seemed annoyed. In her interview, she’s sure Ramona will be going to Mexico, since she wiggles her way into everything. Maybe she can bring Christy from Little Women: LA. Ramona gets all excited when she sees that the restaurant has sent the wine that she likes. I get all excited about the food, and another fabulous sweater on Bethenny. Ramona explains that the dinner was inspired by one of Bethenny’s ideas. In her interview, Bethenny talks about how awkward Ramona must be feeling.

Bethenny thinks they should play Truth or Dare, but Carole says it’s too easy to cheat and make something up. For whatever reason, Bethenny starts it off with a really personal sex question. Tinsley answers, Dorinda is grossed out, and in her interview, Luann says it’s TMI. I’m with the Countess on this one. Sonja picks a dare, and Bethenny wants her to give the waiter a passionate kiss. He’s not exactly receptive, but Bethenny gives her props for trying. Dorinda is next for truth, and John’s penis is discussed. We’ll just leave it at that. Carole admits to having sex with George Clooney a million years ago, and rates him a nine. Carole asks Ramona how many men she’s been with since the divorce. She says three, but doesn’t count Bill Clinton’s kind of sex. The restaurant people can’t believe the conversation. Neither can I. Luann says she feels lucky to be in a relationship, and in her interview, Ramona says Luann is acting superior. Dorinda says the truth is, that Tom was out there, a lot of things were public, and everyone is tired of hearing about Palm Beach. Luann tells Dorinda not to make her feel bad about it. In her interview, Dorinda says they’re happy for her, but don’t want to hear about it anymore; they’ve got it. Bethenny says it was a rough road, but if Luann wants to revel in it, that’s fine. Dorinda says Bethenny is doing an about face.

Dorinda says she’s stuck up for Luann more than anyone. Bethenny says she understands how Luann got there. A lot of stuff happened on the way to the wedding, and it’s a human moment to want to enjoy a honeymoon phase, whereas Luann’s excessive bragging wasn’t. Luann says she made it. (She’s married!) In her interview, she’s surprised at Dorinda. Dorinda says Luann is looking at her weird, and that she’s not God. Luann says she didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did, and loves Dorinda. Carole makes a silly rhyming toast about friendship. Sonja decides to make a toast too, but manages to slip in something snarky about Tom. Carole says that’s mean-spirited toasting and she doesn’t like it. Luann says, and these are her f-ing friends.

Next time, Sonja gets electrolysis for the Mexico trip, Ramona is sure that she’s going to be invited to Mexico, Carole fixes Tinsley up, and Ramona demands respect and sympathy from Bethenny.

🍴 Both MasterChef and The f Word were reruns tonight. Which is just as well, since I spent last night running interference between small dogs and loud noises.

🌺 Little Women: LA ended their season with an 80s prom, where Tonya and Kerwin were crowned king and queen. Kerwin also asked Tonya to marry him. She said yes, but is still hesitant to get married. Briana’s husband, Matt, is still a creep, but she’s still with him. SMH. Next up is the reunion, where the latest girl that Matt has “only kissed” will be trotted out.

🎸 Dave Navarro will be guest starring – well, really guest walking by – on Odd Mom Out this season. I don’t know his music well, but I liked him so much in an interview, I’ve supported his solo efforts since then.

😆 WiFi. It’s not a question. – a character in Ford commercial

FireworksMeme

Jun29

June 28, 2017 – A Return from Puerto Rico, NYC Goes to Vermont, a Few Cooking Quickies & Observations

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Bobbie calls Dante and tells him that Ava has improved. He says he’ll be by for an interview.

Ava refuses to drink her breakfast smoothie. Julian tells the nurse that she’d prefer a dry martini, but he’ll get her to drink it. He says things are looking up for the both of them.

Laura and Spencer meet with Alexis at Kelly’s. Spencer asks Alexis to be his attorney, but she doesn’t think she’s the right one. She says his father is her nephew, and whether she likes it or not, Valentin is her cousin, and it’s a conflict of interest. Spencer thinks it’s actually an advantage, and says the three of them will be unstoppable. The only thing Valentin will be left with is his name.

Lulu and Dante take Charlotte to the Quartermaine mansion. She says it reminds her of the place she lived with papa and Nina. Lulu says she knows Charlotte misses him. Charlotte says doesn’t want him just in her heart and asks when he’s coming home.

Sonny tells Carly he’s going to make it happen, and she says she almost believes it. They exchange I love yous and kiss. Zzzzz…

On the phone with Trina, Josslyn says for all she knows, her grandmother told her mom. Carly comes in, and says she has to talk to Josslyn about something. Josslyn flashes back to Bobbie breaking up the party, and says grandma must have told Carly what she did.

Lulu says they just don’t have the answers to Charlotte’s questions right now. She tells Charlotte that Olivia-F has a surprise for her. Charlotte asks if her papa is ever coming home.

Laura thought it might be better for Spencer to hear directly from a lawyer, and he wanted to see Alexis first thing in the morning, rather than going to camp. Spencer has no interest in participating in camp – it’s Daybreak with Dad today. He says it’s trite. Any activity with his father was fun, but it would only remind him of what Valentin stole. Alexis says she’s sorry, but Spencer refuses to wallow in self-pity. He’s going to take action against the man who murdered his father.

Julian makes Ava take a sip. She wonders what he meant by things looking up. Julian says Olivia let him see Leo, and he’s starting to make up for lost time. Ava says Leo probably won’t remember him not being there. He says he also saw Alexis last night. Ava thinks whatever happens with Leo and Alexis, it might not matter, and asks if he knows something she doesn’t. He says he’s going to fight, and thinks she should too.

Josslyn tells Carly that grandma is making a big deal out of nothing. Carly says she hasn’t talked to her yet, and Josslyn says never mind; she has to go. She says it was just a misunderstanding. Carly asks what kind, and Josslyn makes something up about not calling Bobbie when she was supposed to. She goes upstairs, and Carly finds a bottle under the table. Yellow Sun? What is that? I’m pretty sure it’s nothing I’d drink.

Spencer tells Alexis that they need to find a legal way to wrest Windemere from its current owner, and give it back to its rightful proprietor – him. Alexis says she thought they could, but they can’t.

Lulu asks why Charlotte would think Valentin isn’t coming back, and Charlotte says they blow her off every time she asks about her papa. Lulu says she’s smart, and they have been avoiding the subject. Her papa is going to be gone a long time, but they don’t know how long. Dante says the bride is coming in, and Olivia enters in a bridal gown and veil. I love it, but she says it’s a disaster. It’s a family heirloom, and four Falconari women wore it, but she’s refusing. Charlotte says she looks like a fairy godmother. Olivia says she’s not, but close; she’s Leo’s mother and Rocco’s grandmother. Charlotte says she’s too young to be a grandmother, which endears her to Olivia’s heart forever. Lulu says Olivia is also Charlotte’s step-grandmother, and. Olivia says to call her Nona.

Ava says if Julian thinks he can fight his way to an acquittal, great, but she has no interest in fighting against what she deserves. He says right now she’s bummed because she’s not well. She says she’s hurt so many people. Kiki is torn between loving and hating her, and can’t walk away while she’s like this. It would be easier if she was in prison and Kiki could forget. As long as she’s there, Kiki will feel obligated. Julian says she’s not an obligation to anyone, and eventually Kiki will understand and forgive her. He tells her to think about Avery.

Josslyn comes back downstairs. Carly stops her and asks what the bottle was doing under the couch, and if it’s what she thought was no big deal. Josslyn tries to pretend it was Bobbie’s, but Carly says to show her some respect, and asks what happened in the house. She says otherwise, she’ll call Bobbie, then drag Josslyn back home from camp. Josslyn says she kind of had a party, but it was tiny and hardly anyone was there. Carly asks if it included boys, and Josslyn says yes. Carly asks about alcohol, and Josslyn admits there were wine coolers.

Alexis tells Spencer that she’s gone over all the documents, but everything was left to Valentin. Spencer says it should be taken away from him. Laura says they have to abide by the court’s decision. Spencer tells her that Alexis is the best attorney in the country, and they need to buck the system. He asks if she can’t find a loophole, but she says Valentin owns it all until he dies. Spencer asks what happens when Valentin meets his mortal coil? Does Charlotte get his home? Alexis says, probably.

Olivia says she needs all the help she can get. She needs to find a new dress, and asks if Charlotte and Lulu can help. Charlotte asks if her grandparents won’t be disappointed. Olivia says they’re in heaven, but will be happy with whatever she chooses. Lulu reminds her about Charlotte’s surprise, and Olivia says don’t move. So far, Charlotte is impressed with Olivia.

Josslyn tells Carly that it wasn’t a big deal. She didn’t plan on it. Trina showed up, and brought people from school and alcohol, and before she knew it, the kids were in the hot tub. She wasn’t the one who wanted it, and almost called it off. She says that she stayed inside, and Carly asks if she was alone. Josslyn says not exactly. She stayed inside, but not by herself. Carly asks if she was with a boy.

Bobbie sees Sonny at the hospital. She asks if he and Carly got things straightened out. Sonny says there were a few surprises, but it’s been taken care of. Bobbie says so his only business with her daughter now is finalizing the divorce.

Julian tells Ava that Avery needs her mother, but Ava says she’s the last thing Avery needs. She’s going to confess. She’s going to spare Kiki the unwanted publicity and pain of testifying, and accept whatever punishment she gets.

Charlotte marvels at how many relatives she has. Olivia comes back in street clothes, and fusses over Charlotte some more. She tells Charlotte that Leo and Rocco are going to be ringbearers, and asks if she’d like to be the flower girl. Charlotte says she’d love to.

Spencer says, so when Valentin dies, Windemere becomes Charlotte’s? Alexis hasn’t seen his will, but assumes so. Spencer says there’s got to be something they can do. Alexis says if he dies, she might be able to argue that Spencer’s claim supersedes Charlotte’s, but it’s a long shot. Spencer has faith in her, but says Valentin isn’t that old… unless he meets an untimely death in prison. He asks how is it that he has to wait so long for something he shared with his father?

Josslyn tells Carly that she was with a boy, but they were only talking. He’s sensitive, sweet, and understanding – the opposite of Sonny. Carly asks if they were drinking, and Josslyn says she just had a few sips when Bobbie came in and shut things down. She repeats that it wasn’t a big deal, and Carly tells her to stop saying that. What if someone got hurt or someone called the police? Josslyn says they didn’t, and Carly says there are going to be serious consequences to her bad choices. Josslyn asks what about Carly’s?

Bobbie asks Sonny if they’re still going through with the divorce, and Sonny tells her to talk to Carly. She says that she will.

Julian tells Ava that he felt just like her, but it’s the easy way out. She asks what he thinks she should do, and he says make amends with everyone she hurt, but don’t confess. She says either way, she’s going to prison. Julian asks what they have on her, and she says Lucy’s testimony. He says she’s not reliable, and Ava says there’s Scotty too; he knows everything. Julian says he’s also her lawyer and can’t testify against her. She tells Julian that nothing he says can change her mind.

Sonny walks in, and Julian asks what he’s doing there. Sonny says he’s seeing Ava, and Julian says he thought there might be some gratitude for the warning he gave to Jason. Sonny says thanks for the heads up, and Julian tells him not to go overboard. Sonny says he’s had a change made in the custody order.

Alexis’s phone rings and she steps away to take the call. Laura tells Spencer that she’s sorry. He wants to go home – to Windemere. He misses pizza on the parapet. He says it’s not the same; he’s lost so much. Laura says it hurts, but it’s just a house. His dad doesn’t live there anymore, but lives in their hearts. Spencer is the very best of his father. If he listens closely, he’ll still be able to hear his voice. He can even ask questions and hear the answers. His father will never be gone because he lives on inside of him.

Chandler from Windemere comes in. He’s taking second job as Spencer’s driver. Laura says had to close Spencer’s Uber account, thinking it was better to have a driver who knows where he can go and where he should be. Spencer decides to go to camp. He says he’s fine now, thanks to Laura. He leaves with Chandler. Alexis comes back to the table, and asks if Spencer is all right.

Spencer asks Chandler if they can make a quick stop.

Carly tells Josslyn not to make it worse. Josslyn asks if she’s being punished for speaking the truth, and asks if Carly and Sonny were getting back together all along. Carly says she’s the one who had party and lied. Josslyn tells Carly that maybe she wanted to get her mind off of her dysfunctional family. Carly is like, come on, but Josslyn says everything is so screwed up between Carly, Sonny, and Morgan; maybe she wanted to forget about it. Carly says having a party isn’t the way to deal with it, and tells her to go upstairs until she figures out how to handle it. She makes Josslyn hand over her phone.

Bobbie comes in, and Carly yells at her for not saying anything. Bobbie says she didn’t know they were back until she saw Sonny, and then she came home immediately. Carly asks how bad it was and if Josslyn was drunk. Bobbie says no, and Oscar seemed harmless, unlike Trina’s friends, who she thinks are inappropriate. Carly says no more sleepovers. She didn’t know how upset Josslyn was, and had no idea she’d act out like that. Omg, you’d think she shot heroin.

Sonny is asking for full custody with Avery. Julian calls him a piece of work. Sonny says Ava took advantage of their agreement when he was in the wheelchair, and he’s returning the favor. He says he can’t bring Morgan back, but he can protect Avery. Julian says the silver lining is that Sonny is getting a divorce, and Carly won’t be part of her life anymore. Sonny tells him wrong again; they’re staying together, and Carly will be the only mother Avery knows. Julian tells Sonny to get out. Sonny leaves the paperwork.

Julian tells Ava that he’s sorry, and Ava says it’s not his fault. He says that doesn’t mean she should stop fighting. She asks him to leave her alone for a while, and he tells her not to give up. Whoa. Wait a second. Why is Sonny allowed to leave and unsterile folder with papers there? They also seem a little loosey-goosey about how much the visitors are covered-up.

Alexis tells Laura that she’s sorry all she could offer was a dead end. Laura says Spencer needed to hear it from her, and thanks her for meeting with them. She says she can’t shake the feeling that Spencer won’t give up, but Alexis says there’s nothing they can do. Laura says they know that, but does Spencer?

Dante comes to Ava’s room. He asks how she is, but she tells him that pleasantries aren’t necessary. He says he has questions to ask her about his brother’s death.

Spencer meets Sonny at Puzzulo’s. He has a business matter to discuss. Sonny asks what kind, and he says he wants Sonny to eliminate Valentin Cassadine.

Bobbie tells Carly that Sonny wouldn’t talk about the trip, and said to ask her, so she’s asking. Carly says it was more than business. She and Sonny have decided to get back together. Bobbie sits there, open-mouthed, and Josslyn overhears.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Spencer if he knows what he’s asking, Scotty asks if Ava sent him down the river, and Bobbie wants justice.

The Real Housewives of New York City  

Bethenny is meeting the ladies at an Italian restaurant in the Bronx. She wants to break them out of Manhattan. She says it feels like 1950, and told them to dress accordingly. Dorinda says it feels like home. She’s hungover, but thinks a big bowl of Bolognese is the answer. She orders a bloody Mary and says keep them coming, and Luann says it’s noon somewhere. Bethenny calls it a salty broad kind of area. In her interview, she says Tinsley sticks out like a sore thumb, but Carole is a close second, looking like a zookeeper. She tells us that the only one who got the memo was Dorinda, who showed up wasted. Omg, the pizza looks incredible.

Bethenny wants the group to go on a ski trip to Vermont. Sonja says she used to be a good skier, but she hasn’t gone in a long time, and wants an instructor. They talk about Ramona (who’s not there), and we flash back to her last altercation with Bethenny. Bethenny tells them that it said so much about Ramona. Dorinda thinks she was drunk, and Bethenny says it’s like truth serum. We flash back to Ramona talking smack about Sonja. Dorinda talks about Ramona’s business partner, who has apparently lied to a lot of people. Sonja pulls out her phone, and goes over some old texts that alluded to Dorinda wanting a Tipsy Girl brand. Dorinda says as usual, Sonja has to go backward. Dorinda gets loud, and Carole says this is her favorite part. Everyone is turning around and looking. Sonja insists that Dorinda wanted to do Tipsy Girl first, and Dorinda wants her to take it back. She walks around the table, imitating Sonja. After she sits back down, she does this thing with her hand, and keeps saying clip! There’s a question mark over my head, and Bethenny isn’t sure what that means either, but thinks it means STFU.

Dorinda says Sonja has no right to speak on her behalf. Bethenny says in all fairness, it was Ramona who belittled her. Dorinda starts getting teary, and Sonja brings up the Berkshires. Dorinda calls her an asswipe, and I laugh, since I don’t know if I’ve ever heard that term from an adult. Luann suggests having calamari. What no eggs a la Française? Bethenny apologizes to the other diners. One of them says Carole looks like Melania Trump. Luann tells him that’s a huge compliment because Carole loves Trump, and steers her away before she kills someone.

Tinsley sees her therapist. She says her biggest problem is that she can’t sleep, and when she does, she dreams of all the crap. She talks about her alcoholic father, who turned to drink after losing a business. She says after he died, she looked at things differently; he was a southern gentleman who didn’t deserve what he got in life. She says every guy she’s ever been close to is like her father, but they don’t understand the real world, and can sometimes end up like him. She isn’t an alcoholic, but is drinking too much to fall asleep. The therapist asks about her dreams. She talks about the fear of dying when she was arrested, and the character assassination afterward. In her interview, she says even though the charges were dropped, she still has to deal with it. She wants to feel like herself again, and the therapist suggests aiming for a better version of herself. He thinks she should set some goals, and tells her that if she can’t find innate value in herself, it’s going to be more challenging. Challenging being the new word for difficult to the point of being a real pita.

Luann meets Ramona and Sonja at a restaurant. She tells Ramona the Tipsy Girl thing came out at dinner. In her interview, Ramona says Sonja is stuck in the past. Interesting, since Ramona seems stuck in Bethenny’s past. Luann tells her about the Vermont trip, and asks if she’s in. In her interview, she says she usually only skis in Aspen. Oh, excuse me. Luann thinks Ramona is trying too hard, and should let Bethenny come to her. Which will be never. Sonja hopes she and Dorinda are okay. She talks about how Luann has known Dorinda longer, jokingly adding that they’re not so close they slept with the same guy, referring to her and Tom. No surprise, Luann doesn’t take it well, and reminds Sonja that Tom is her husband. Sonja says she thought she had “creative license,” whatever that means, and Luann says it’s been real. In her interview, she says she’s tired of apologizing for being herself. Luann tells her it’s not cool, which I guess makes it all, like, uncool.

Minions are dancing at the bottom of my TV screen. What the…? Advertising has gotten totally out of hand. And I thought the point of paying for cable was less advertising. The girls arrive at what Bethenny calls a Lincoln Log house. It’s huge, beautiful, and polished looking. She says she got a text from Ramona, who as usual is all over the place, saying blah-blah-blah about communication. Bethenny texted back that she really doesn’t want to be friends, but they can be cordial. Dorinda tells Bethenny that she thinks Ramona has regrets, and Bethenny says it’s too many things in too short of a time.

Bethenny wants to put the Mexico trip back on the schedule, and we flash back to when they almost went before she got sick. Hey, it’s Jules! Dorinda and Carole want to pick rooms before the others get there, and Dorinda realizes she forgot her luggage. Everything is still sitting in front of her house. In her interview, Carole says Dorinda is the gift that keeps on giving. Dorinda wants to call an Uber to pick up her stuff and take it from NYC to Vermont. I wonder what that costs. She spreads the everything in her purse on one of the beds to lay claim.

We hear Ramona before she even comes in, since she forgot to wear her snow boots. Oh Lord, it was a five-hour drive. I’d have walked before going with Ramona. Carole calls camel toe on Ramona, who asks what she wants after that long in the car. In her interview, Ramona says it’s awkward with Bethenny. I’ll bet.

The rest of the women pick out their bedrooms. Ramona starts complaining before she even sees anything. In her interview, Ramona says she and Sonja have a history, and they always share a room. Tinsley thinks they’re acting like it’s summer camp, and they need the best bunk. Sonja and Ramona talk about stealing Dorinda’s room, and Sonja says maybe she’ll forget which one she picked if she’s drinking.

Luann gets there last. Ramona grills Carole on why she didn’t suggest Dorinda take another room, like that was her job. She wails that Dorinda’s room has a double-sink. Ugh! I hate a double-sink. I have one in the upstairs bathroom, and it’s been nothing but a headache from day one. Luann has to take the last room downstairs, and feels like she’s being punished. Dorinda hears Ramona, and says if she’d gotten there earlier, she would have gotten the room she wanted. Sonja feels like Luann always wants her to kiss the ring.

Jan, the executive chef, arrives. Luann and Ramona play ping-pong, and Ramona bitches about Bethenny. Ramona insists that she would never be malicious, but Luann won’t go that far. We flash back to Ramona criticizing Luann to no end. Back in her room, Ramona orders Sonja to get her water. Sonja puts tap water in a bottle, and pretends it’s Evian, but Ramona says she’d rather have mountain water, since it tastes better. Sonja says she’ll get it then, waits a beat, then gives her the water she had in the first place.

Tinsley tells Bethenny she’s kind of boy crazy. Bethenny says she’s spent too much time in the Hamptons around gay men, but she’s dating again. Tinsley says she’s over WASPy guys. She also wants to figure out when she’s moving.

Dinner is served. Luann wakes Dorinda. Bethenny tells Luann about the trip to Mexico. Luann complains about her room. Her bathroom is down the hall. Oh, horrors! She thinks it should have been nicer because she just got married. Huh? She says she thinks the chef was using her bathroom, and in her interview, Carole jokes that Luann usually loves finding a random man in the bathroom.

The food looks amazing. I have to get some of this food I keep seeing on TV. Luann goes on and on about being married, and wants to get someone else in the group to get married. Tinsley volunteers. Luann says she definitely needs to find a man, but Sonja thinks she should get an apartment first. She says men want to see independent women. In her interview, Sonja claims that Tinsley’s biggest concern was her reputation, and going right to another guy looks like she’s repeating her mistakes. Dorinda tells Sonja just because someone lives with you doesn’t give you the right to run their life. Tinsley can’t believe Sonja is talking about her like she’s not there. Dorinda says that’s not a friend.

Tinsley says she thought she was sixteen, and now she’s five. She says she’s not needy, but she just came from an unhealthy relationship. She’s 41, and doesn’t have kids. Luann says she needs to love herself first. Tinsley feels pressured, and says everyone is telling her to get over it, but no one is giving her a chance. She talks about them going back to the past, but Dorinda says they don’t understand what chaos happens in the townhouse. Bethenny compares it to Tinsley’s last abusive relationship, saying that now she’s letting Sonja tell her what to do. In her interview, Bethenny says if you don’t like the rules, move out. Tinsley says it was a traumatic experience being in a physically and mentally abusive relationship. Bethenny says she went through the same thing, and Tinsley says it’s not the same thing because it wasn’t so public. After everyone picks their jaws up off the ground, Bethenny tells her to google it. In her interview, Tinsley insists no one understands.

Next time, the ladies do some skiing, John’s Johnson is discussed, Luann says she just got married, and suckerfish Jason Hoppy is arrested for stalksing.

🍳 MasterChef quickie. There was a shellfish mystery box, and the dishes all looked extraordinary and delicious. The elimination challenge was scrambled eggs. Gordon’s are a little creamy for my taste, but I did learn something about making them. You can too, along with the other thirty million people, on YouTube. One contestant said they’d never scrambled an egg before, so I felt proud of myself for half a second. Being under-seasoned was the main culprit of those who didn’t make it to the balcony, but those remaining got a do-over. Oddly enough, Heather went home for being too heavy-handed with the pepper. It must have hurt to be beaten by an egg (BA-DUM-CHH!), but it’s always the simplest things that can hang you up. It’s the little foxes who spoil the vine.

🍴 On The f Word, it was The Lords of the Lake – a bunch of friends who share a lake house – vs Miracle in the Kitchen – a family whose patriarch was the last one saved from the Miracle on the Hudson. Their task was making fried chicken, yam hash, and collard greens. The winners were Miracle in the Kitchen, by a small percentage. Gordon made tacos with Jaimie Alexander, and it was the first time a guest’s dish was preferred. Matt Jones got the record for fastest watermelon slicing (18 seconds and making uniform cubes), and got a certificate from the Guinness adjudicator, who looked amusingly serious.

Gordon also broke out his alter-ego, James, and went in disguise to a focus group about The f Word. One guy nearly outed Gordon, recognizing something about him, but everyone else exhibited the appropriate surprise. Rachel Bilson and Gordon had a race to see how many ice cream scoops they could get on a cone in 45 seconds, with Joe Manganiello timing them. Joe admitted his guilty pleasure was jelly beans, and he’s a foodie who enjoys chicken and waffles. He also played a food guessing game. When Gordon unveiled a Scottish mystery dish, I already knew it had to be haggis. It’s always haggis.

A Coupla Tidbits

🏝 Lydia McLaughlin is returning to The Real Housewives of the OC. I hope she brings along her weed smoking mother again. She’s a million times more interesting than Lydia.

💃 I half-watched Little Women: LA, and it looked like Briana was finally going to ditch that skeevy husband of hers. Then she didn’t.

🗺 I was going to post a picture of haggis, and I just couldn’t do it. So here’s a pretty picture of Scotland instead.

Scotland

Jun22

June 21, 2017 – a Bump in the Puerto Rican Night, Ramona in a Ponytail, Chef Battles & Rearview Mirrors

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Laura, Doc, and Spencer go to Kelly’s. Spencer says it’s kind of Doc to accommodate him, but he still wants what he had at Windemere. He thinks Charlotte should be embarrassed to call Valentin her father.

Lulu and Charlotte bring Dante’s phone to the station. Charlotte says it looks like the same place where Valentin made the video. Lulu says it is, and Charlotte wonders why, since he’s not a policeman.

Quinn tells Nathan and Amy that pictures are the best sales tool they have. She says traffic on the website spiked as soon as his picture went up. They want to approach the book the same way.  His eyes command attention, and attention turns to sales. Nathan says they can’t use his picture.

Jason leaves another message for Sonny, but gets cut off. My mistake, it’s not Kirby; it’s Garvey who’s after Sonny. I can’t help it if he’s one of those interchangeable characters who looks like a Kirby.

Carly and Sonny get caught in the rain. She wants to put something dry on, but he tells her she looks great as is.

Quinn says a new author like Nathan is in no position to make demands. Amy says he doesn’t think of himself as an author, just a typical guy giving advice. People feel more comfortable approaching him from behind a keyboard. Quinn says his face is the book, but Nathan says it’s about offering people sound guidance. She says no picture, no publisher; his face is the brand.

Nina gives Nelle some instructions. She says it’s a lot of work because they’re so backed up, but if an article holds Nelle’s interest, bring it to her attention. Nina notices a bracelet Nelle has on that Charlotte made out of macaroni. She has one too.

Dante sits Charlotte on his desk. He asks if she remembers what happened at the Nurses Ball. She says everyone was scared. Lulu says Valentin had to answer some questions about it, so he made the video there too. Dante says there are other people who have questions, and he went to answer them. Charlotte says then he’ll come back like he promised.

Jason thinks he should call Max, but Sam isn’t too sure. Jason is having enough trouble convincing them he’s out of the business. Michael knocks on the door. He has paperwork for Jason; they’re reorganizing the family trust. Jason tells him that Sonny’s phone keeps dropping out of service. Michael says that he and Carly are in Puerto Rico, and to try the landline. He asks if it’s important, and Jason says it could be.

Sonny makes a fire, and the rain is REALLY LOUD. So LOUD, I can barely hear them. Lightning strikes, and Carly jumps into Sonny’s arms. She says sorry, it seemed so close. The electricity goes out, but he says the storm shouldn’t last too long. She reminds him of when they were trapped for four days, and he said it was only going to be a couple of hours. She says it was one of her favorite times there. She lights some candles, and he talks about the time they taught the boys to play poker. She says that Sonny almost folded to let Morgan win.

Nathan tells Quinn that he appreciates the meeting, and Amy asks to confer with her client. In the hallway, Nathan tells Amy that he wants to help, but he can’t let her put his face on the book. Amy says she has a fix, but he says he can’t do his job with people thinking he’s an advice columnist. She asks him to let her try and save the deal. He says as long as his face doesn’t end up on a book cover. Amy tells Quinn they’ll do the photo shoot.

Spencer asks if anyone has been back to Windemere, but Laura wants to talk about something more pleasant. Spencer wants to address the issue of his stolen inheritance, but she says it wasn’t stolen. Doc explains about the will, and how the estate went to Valentin. Spencer lost his claim when Stavros died. They didn’t realize it, but it’s always belonged to Valentin. Spencer asks why Valentin didn’t claim it before, and Laura says it was only made known after Helena died. He asks what happens if Valentin goes to prison, and Laura tells him that Nina will probably decide.

Nina says she keeps telling herself it’s for the best; Lulu is Charlotte’s biological mother, and it might confuse her. Nelle says that isn’t true. She got to see the family up close, and Charlotte adores her. Nina says she did, but she’s living with Lulu now. Nelle thinks it’s best for Nina to stay in Charlotte’s life; there’s nothing confusing about a mom and a stepmom. Nina says Lulu wouldn’t be happy with it, but Nelle says Charlotte’s happiness is more important than Lulu’s comfort level.

Jason tells Michael that an old associate might be coming after Sonny. Michael wonders why Julian would say anything, and Sam says he claims that he’s trying to be better person, even though they don’t believe it. Michael says he’ll give Max the guy’s name, and have him tighten security. Jason asks if he’s sure that’s all. Michael promises that he’s not going anywhere near his father’s business, but that brings him to other reason he’s here. He asks if Jason wants to join him at ELQ.

Carly and Sonny drink to the best hurricane he can remember. She tells Sonny that he makes strong drinks, and he says they just have to relax and wait out the storm. She says it’s better than waiting at the airport. They both hear some noise outside, and Carly asks, what’s that? Sonny tells her to stay there and he’ll check.

Amy tells Quinn that they’ll do the shoot on Nathan’s terms. They’re not to show his face full to the camera. They want to preserve the mystery, so he’s in a shadow and only one eye is shown. Quinn says the customer needs a reason to pick up the book in the first place, and Amy says, exactly. A man’s face is in the shadow, with one brilliant blue eye showing; it makes them curious pick up the book, and it’s sold. Quinn says they’ll do it her way.

Lulu says there are new things Charlotte is getting used to, like thinking of them as family. Charlotte says papa and Nina are family too. Lulu says he had to go away, and truthfully, none of them know when he’s coming back, but she has plenty of people who love her. Charlotte says sometimes Spencer isn’t nice, and Lulu says that Charlotte can always come to her.

Nina looks at the family photo on her desk. Nelle comes into the office, and says she found something Nina might like. It’s a backstage account of a fashion show from an anonymous dresser. Nina likes a new point of view, and says she’ll read it. She asks Nelle to pick up a quinoa/kale salad that Kelly’s makes special for her, and tells Nelle to get lunch for herself too.

Michael talks about sustainable energy sources getting pushed back from Ned, and how he needs someone to get accurate feedback on the profitability. He tells Jason that there’s a lot of travel involved. Jason says he has no experience, but Michael says he’s a problem solver. When going over qualifications for a project manager, he realized Jason would be perfect.

Carly picks up a fireplace poker, and almost hits Sonny. He says good thing he checked. An intruder is outside, and it’s no one she wants to mess with. I’m thinking it’s a racoon or something.

Michael needs someone he can trust, and can’t think of anyone better, but Jason says it’s not the right time. He says Michael will need him to be away, and he’s been away enough. Sam says they can make it work. Michael gets a text from Nelle wanting to meet at Kelly’s, and he replies that he’s on his way. Sam asks if there’s a time limit, and Michael tells her the middle of next month. She asks if they can think about it for a couple of days, and he says okay, but needs to fill the position asap. He leaves, and Jason asks if she’s trying to get rid of him. Sam says that she wants him to have a challenge not involving Sonny

Carly says that parrot is still here? It’s Tito, the mean escape artist parrot. She asks if he’s okay with a rogue parrot that scared her to death, and tries to bite the guests. Sonny asks why she’s so jumpy.

Jason didn’t realize that Sam was still worried about Sonny. She says he seems fixated on warning him, and turned Michael down without even thinking about it. She wonders if he’s worried that he’ll be away if something happens to Sonny.

Quinn says once contracts are signed, they’ll schedule the photo shoot. She thinks it has mass appeal, and Man Landers is compelling. She’s overnighting the contracts. In the hallway, Amy is thrilled. She thinks the mystery man thing works for them, and thanks Nathan for trusting her and not walking out. She says it’s a huge deal for her and her brother, and hugs him.

Spencer asks what Nina has to do with it; a virtual stranger gets to decide the fate of Windemere? Laura says Valentin’s team of lawyers are probably hashing it out, and he asks if it wasn’t Shakespeare who said kill all the lawyers? He goes to bathroom, and Laura tells Doc that she was hoping boarding school would reign in his behavior. Doc says it helps create distance between him and his grief, and he keeps control with things as they were. Laura thanks him, and he says it’s been a blessing. They’ve fulfilled his life in ways he never imagined. They kiss.

Michael asks Nelle what the good news is, and she tells him about the job at Crimson. She says he was right. The bird pooping on her shoulder might have been good luck, and she thinks things are turning around.

Amy understands what an imposition it is, and how Nathan isn’t comfortable, but Nathan says he’s glad to help. She says Chet would do the same in his position, because he’s a good person. He says he’s doing it for her.

Michael asks how Nelle decided on fashion publication, and Nelle says it decided on her. She thinks it’s going to be a good fit. Michael says they have to celebrate. She says she’s just there to pick up lunch. He says ELQ is sponsoring a concert in park, and asks her to go with him.

Sam says she’d know Jason was safe if he worked for Michael. He says he’ll be right here, and not overseas working for Sonny or troubleshooting for ELQ. He says he doesn’t regret leaving Sonny’s business. He says he’s worried though, and wants to fly down. She says he can’t

Sonny tells Carly to relax. She says everywhere she looks, she sees the boys and goes over memories. She says the four of them were together, and there was enough time for everything. Sonny says time ran out. They look sadly at each other.

Nathan asks if Charlotte is joining the PCPD, but Lulu says they’re headed to Lila’s Kids. Dante says thanks for the phone, and asks how Nathan is.

Nelle asks if it’s a date, and Michael asks if they’re allowed. She says yes, and tells him she’ll see him later.

Doc thinks Spencer’s been gone a long time, and goes to check. Nelle says hello to Laura, and asks how Charlotte is. Laura says she’s enjoying Lila’s Kids, especially the arts and crafts. Doc comes back, saying that Spencer is gone.

Spencer walks into Nina’s office. He asks if he’s addressing Nina Reeves or Nina Cassadine, and says they need to talk.

Sam says Jason claimed he didn’t want to be part of the business. He says he just wants Sonny to know there’s a threat. Sam says she’s coming with him.

Carly tells Sonny that she sees Morgan everywhere on the island, and the worst thing that could happen really happened. Sonny says their son is gone. Carly says that no matter how happy you are, it’s just a moment that can disappear. He tells her thinking that way robs them of what they have right now. he says maybe they can be happy again. They kiss. Someone lurks in the shadows.

Tomorrow, Laura looks for Spencer, Jordan wants to cool things off with Curtis, and Sam isn’t letting Jason out of her sight.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Carole meets Tinsley for breakfast. Tinsley says her mother is coming to town, and accompanying her to look for apartments. They talk about going to the NY Botanical Garden Winter Wonderland Ball, and Carole looks up the pictures online, using her phone. Tinsley is happy to be in the press for something good. She says she’s glad to be back in the swing of things, and that she’s still going to counseling for what happened to her. Carole says she should redefine herself, starting with cutting her hair. In her interview, Carole says reinvention is not repetition. Tinsley says she’s not changing her look or her life.

Sonja packs for her trip, while Frenchie makes hors d’oevres. He’s going to be spending part of his time in Paris. Sonja says she doesn’t like when he walks in on her in the bathroom, and he tells her she should close the door. She says Tinsley keeps saying she’s leaving, but she wants to make sure that Tinsley is comfortable back in the city first. Sonja talks to Frenchie about how the girls are gossiping. Frenchie says he doesn’t like that they make a bigger deal out of Rocco than he is. In her interview, Sonja says she has a good time with Rocco, and until she doesn’t, she’s going to see him.

Ramona facetimes with Ashley. She’s proud of herself for redecorating without a decorator. I had to do that after we had a flood, and didn’t think it was that huge of an accomplishment. She’s having a sort of housewarming party, and invited Bethenny, wanting to bridge the gap. Ashley thinks she should give it space, and then try to straighten it out for the sake of their play friend group.

Tinsley and realtor friend Chris meet with her mother, Dale. Chris shows them a four-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment that’s only nine grand a month. Tinsley says her mother has no idea what downtown is, and thinks Manhattan is only the Upper East Side. They move on.

Carole’s friend/interior designer, John, arrives. She wants to get her 60-year-old couch recovered. She dumps fabric swatches out of a tote bag. John thinks cat-friendly is the way to go. Adam shows up, and Carole gives him some of the stuff he left behind. In her interview, she says things are going much better now that Adam has moved out, since she lives in a tiny apartment. Her definition of tiny being different from mine. The disagree over who owns a Buddha head. Omg, this is so high school.

Dale is much more approving of the next apartment. It is pretty impressive, and also nine thousand a month. Chris thinks it’s more bang for her buck and much more “her.” Tinsley is afraid of moving too fast, but won’t feel like she’s really back until she has her own place. She starts to get teary, and Dale suggests staying at a hotel. The apartment has its own elevator, and I want to cry.

Frederik visits Bethenny’s loft, and says that it smells cleaner. We flash back to him telling her it’s too cluttered. He thinks it looks a lot better and you can breathe now. He says get rid of the bar and they’ll get five and a quarter (million). Bethenny has spent a lot on the bar, and is concerned about it breaking if they try to move it.

Carole calls Dorinda, asking if she’s packed for Washington, where they’re going to protest at the Women’s March. They’re leaving in the morning. Carole is taking her lucky monkey.

Sonja meets Rocco at a bar and bakery. He tells her that Frank Sinatra practically lived there. In her interview, Sonja says she’s between a Rocco and a hard place. Since Frenchie knows about Rocco, she now has to tell Rocco about Frenchie. Rocco has had the place closed so that they can have dinner privately. They discuss Tom, and Rocco says he cheated when he was young. Sonja starts to stammer, and tells him about taking a complete stranger home one night. She thought he was going back to Paris, but now he’s smitten with her. She dances around the fact that he’s moved in. She tells Rocco that there aren’t any more guys in her life like either one of them. If I didn’t know what she was saying, I would have no idea what she was saying. Rocco says anyone can have sex, but friendship is important. In her interview, Sonja says Frenchie is possibly an infatuation, while Rocco is in it for the long haul. Rocco asks where she thinks it’s going with them, and Sonja answers without answering. They toast to the next kiss.

Dorinda and Carole march. We see lots of pink hats. Dorinda’s daughter, Hannah, joins them as well. Carole says she wants to hold this administration accountable, and feels they’re standing on the right side of history. Dorinda feels like a better person for being involved, and says this is huge. Hannah is proud to be a woman. It’s all well and good, but sounds like the Occupy Wall Street thing, where the protesters never really said what they were protesting about. Today’s word for this whole episode is, vague.

Tinsley wants to get rid of the tattoo of her husband’s initials, and her friend Anika says she didn’t even take her ex’s last name. Ha-ha! Ramona gets ready for her party. She has a cool flat screen TV where a non-Yule log is burning. Carole thinks Ramona is more traditional than the apartment reflects, and that she’s sporting an I Dream of Jeannie vibe. Dale compliments Ramona on her high ponytail. Dorinda presents her with a candle. Harry arrives. Ramona thinks she’s the only one he hasn’t dated. He asks about Sonja, who’s late. Tinsley has known him forever, but wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. He makes inappropriate comments and follows her.

Sonja blows in. She’s not drinking again, and goes the other way when she sees Harry. Too late; he’s seen her. She tells him she’s turned a new leaf, and he’s in Paris. Everyone makes small talk. Luann is happy that everyone is happy for her and Tom. She assumes Bethenny isn’t coming, and Dorinda says that Ramona and Bethenny aren’t talking. Ramona says she did invite Bethenny, but she RSVP’d she wasn’t coming. In her interview, Ramona thinks the RSVP is a step forward. Carole suggest that Ramona call or text privately, but Ramona wanted to show there were no hard feelings – even though Bethenny was “as bad as [she] was.” Here comes that backhand. She tells Carole she doesn’t remember exactly what she said, and Carole tells her that she’d had too much to drink. Dorinda says she uses alcohol as an excuse all the time. Ha-ha! Ramona says she loves Bethenny, and does want to apologize. Harry bugs Sonja.

Ramona says she wasn’t really thinking when she made up the guest list. Missy, who’d thought she was dating Tom and walked in on him with Luann, is there. Tom tells Luann that Missy is happy for them. In her interview, Luann says it’s healthy to be friends with your exes. Harry pumps Missy for the deets, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Dorinda vogues. Sonja says that Ramona is a pot stirrer, like we didn’t know, and that Ramona has been telling her what everything cost. They hear something crash in another room, and Sonja calls out, $12.99!

Next time, Bethenny wants to go snowboarding, Tinsley goes to therapy, and Dorinda comes for Sonja at yet another dinner fail.

🍲 On MasterChef, lifeguards were fed, but I was left with the question of wth is a purple green bean? If it’s purple, how can it be green? I have to admit to being a little happy when contestant Jennifer’s pork was undercooked. She’s a debt collector who claims her job is stressful, but I’ll bet it’s not nearly as stressful as it is for the people she hounds. Gordon basically said she let a setback cause her to “disintegrate.” Sadly, the balcony got polled, and she got to stay. She seems like a real jerk who can barely form a sentence, so there’s hope for more mistakes.

🎣 The challenge teams on The f Word were Slaw & Order (cops from Peachtree, GA – a gorgeous town) vs the The Food Bosses (a family who moved from the big city to a simpler life in rural TN). They made a New York strip steak with a dry rub, sautéed mushrooms, and potatoes. Andy Cohen had a cook-off with Gordon, and although I missed what they were cooking, Andy burned it. He doesn’t exactly strike me as the chef type. More like a Seamless customer. Joel McKale did some grilling, and Gordon did some scuba diving. He caught and cooked some spiky Caribbean pest fish that don’t belong in Islamorada, Florida, but make a tasty meal. Leslie Jones (love her! and she looks fantastic!) discussed grits and other food with Gordon. She also did a guess-the-food game, and we’ve all been forewarned that we probably don’t want to eat durian fruit. Or grasshoppers.

Gordon periodically checks with the diners about the team challenge, and I laughed when one said the potatoes were like something he’d make in the middle of the night when he was drunk. Personally, that’s when I prefer a can of Chef Boyardee anything. On Father’s Day, Gordon and daughter Mathilda challenged the world record holders, the McCurdys, for the number of eggs cracked with one hand. No shells in the glass, and one hand behind the back. I might be good for two or three. Maybe one. The McCurdys kept their title, bringing up their total as well. The Food Bosses won the challenge by a narrow margin. Next week, Gordon goes undercover again, and on a lake trip.

⌛ Andy Cohen: Then & Now brought us Being Rich: the 80s tonight, and how those spending habits then affect us now. Erika Girardi explained that money only brings out who you really are – if you’re a poor a-hole, you’ll be a rich a-hole. Mega-mansions; Donald Trump’s golden penthouse; the Playboy mansion (purchased in the 70s for one million), which Mauricio Umansky just sold for $100 million to Hugh Hefner’s neighbor, under the proviso that Hugh gets to live there in perpetuity, which is a scary thought; and Lisa Vanderpump’s Villa Rosa (Giggy’s house!). They’ve downsized since then, but she told us that as long as she and Ken have their own bathrooms, they’ll stay married. I understand. Kyle Richards said that today it’s all about the “smart house,” but I say no thanks. I’ve read Ray Bradbury’s short stories. A parade of amazing weddings came next. Carson Kressley weighed in on the topic, and I noticed he was wearing some seriously distressed jeans with a nice sportcoat, tie and pocket square. Shame on him. Larry Fortensky, the first trophy husband, is discussed, and it’s pointed out that while lavish weddings were once the thing, now it’s secret weddings a la Adele or Branjelina. Body maintenance was kept a secret in the 80s, but not really. One of Andy’s guests suggested that one day we’ll be able to download our soul into the cloud, and I almost fell off my chair laughing. Pre-nups! The Cat Lady! Who, btw, got billions in alimony, with the caveat that she can’t use any of it on plastic surgery. Greed is good, and Silicon Valley rich vs hedge fund rich. Bill Gates is worth $86 billion today, just in case you were wondering. Private jets, limos and yachts, and Robin Leach revealing that the most outrageous limo had a landing pad, hot tub, and a putting green. It was all about exclusivity and excess. Ah, the good old days. I miss them, and I’ll miss this show, as it’s the season finale. I love a good retrospective.

RearviewMirror

Jun15

June 14, 2017 – Return of the Original Spinelli, Luann Gets Married, Gordon Kicks Butt & 2008

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

FYI, GH did not air anything new yesterday, so we didn’t miss anything. Areas where the Sessions testimony wasn’t on, got a rerun.

Jason looks at the shipping label from Jake’s package. Sam gets angry, and tells him this whole thing needs to be over.

Jake has a session with Andre. Elizabeth asks to talk to him for a second. She’s worried about Jake’s recovery. She says he’s been acting like nothing ever happened. She wonders if it’s part of Helena’s plan, and there’s something else to be triggered.

In Kelly’s with Nathan, Nina wonders if she should personally drop off a dress she has for Charlotte. She misses her, but Charlotte is getting used to living with Lulu now.

Anna visits Lulu. She hopes that Valentin hasn’t escaped custody, but Anna says he’s in custody in the Netherlands. She explains about the video that Valentin recorded; she promised she would show it to Charlotte.

The old Spinelli is back! He tells Sonny he’s sorry for his loss. Sonny says Ava is paying for what she did. Carly comes in, but Spinelli says unfortunately duty calls, and he can’t stay. Carly tells Sonny that Brick is cool, but she misses Spinelli, and Sonny should be grateful he has two geniuses to count on. Sonny is glad to see her, but she says they need to talk about what happened yesterday.

Nina says she did what Nathan wanted. She’s gotten the divorce papers back, and Valentin is in the Netherlands. Nathan says regardless of how he feels, Valentin loved her and it can’t be easy. Nina says they were a family, and it was the happiest time in her life, but it’s over. She says she also knows there was a part of Valentin that he couldn’t outrun, and that’s why he’s in prison. She’s moving on without bitterness or regrets. Well, maybe one regret.

Lulu tells Anna that they talked about Valentin visiting and reassuring Charlotte, but the WSB moved too fast. As usual, thinking only of herself, Lulu says Charlotte is doing great and doesn’t want to upset her by showing it to her. Anna says she gave her word. Lulu asks if there’s honor among spies, and Anna says they call it being human. He was a good father and wanted to say good-by. What is Lulu going to do when Charlotte asks later why her father never said good-by? I vote for lie and make a mess of things.

Andre sees no signs of a hidden agenda. His best advice to Elizabeth is to treat Jake like the others, and not like he’s under a microscope. She should trust how he’s doing. Everyone carries traces of trauma, but the important thing is to face it and not fear it; life continues.

Jason tells Sam that they can’t assume the threat is over. Helena is dead, but someone was working for her. Sam asks why it has to be him that finds them. Jason says a weapon was put in his son’s hands and he’s not letting it go. He asks her what’s going on. She says nothing; she’s just tired, and maybe coming down with something. Jason suggests someone else watch Scout, and she go back to the spa. She says she’s not a spa kind of girl, and he tells her to take a nap. If she feels up to it, maybe they can have lunch at the MetroCourt. She tells him be careful, and he says he always is.

Carly tells Sonny that things got emotional, and Sonny says no surprise. It was like the clouds parted when Ava confessed. It won’t bring Morgan back, but they have answers, and don’t have to believe they failed. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if she died. Carly says she got an update from Bobbie, and Ava’s condition has been upgraded to stable, and she’s even improving. Carly asks what if she never pays, but Sonny says she will in one way or another. He tells her to forget about Ava; he wants to feel what he did yesterday, and won’t let Ava change that. Carly brushes him off, saying she can’t do this.

Amy 2.0 asks Nathan for a favor. He says no, without even knowing what it is. He tells her that he’s not being the face of her advice column. She says he’s the only one who can save the book deal.

Lulu tells Anna that the last thing Charlotte needs is a reminder of a father who put her life at risk. Anna thinks that’s funny coming from someone with Luke as a father. You tell her, Anna. Lulu says that she’s not traumatizing Charlotte. Anna says it’s nothing cryptic; it’s sweet, and he tells her that wherever he is, he’ll be thinking about her. She adds that he’s promised to come back. Nina is at the door, and asks if that’s true, and if there’s a chance he could be released.

Jason meets with Spinelli. He explains about the package sent to Jake, and how it was really from Helena. Spinelli looks at the shipping label and says, The Jackal takes over.

Elizabeth drops by Jason’s place, wearing a beautiful lace top over a tank. She asks Sam if she can leave Jason a message. She tells Sam what Andre said, and wishes she felt they were past the danger. She mentions the shipping receipt, and Sam says that Jason is out looking for the mystery delivery man, and who knows what trouble that will start. Elizabeth says she just wants Jake safe, but Sam hears different voices in her head talking about being safe, like what happened to her at the spa. Elizabeth asks her about being an emergency contact while Jake is at camp, and is about to give her some information, but Sam sees her taking a gun out of her purse. Elizabeth hands her the forms, saying that she hopes it’s not an imposition. She asks if Sam is okay.

Spinelli tells Jason that he’s found security cameras in the area where the package came from.

Andre tells Jake that they’re just going to talk, and if he feels uncomfortable, just let him know. They do word association. He asks what he thinks of when he hears mom and dad – motorcycle riding and pizza – and has him elaborate. Then Andre says, Cassadine Island, and Jake is silent. He tells Jake what he thinks about – a little boy a lot like him, only younger, alone except for someone whispering in his ear. Jake says maybe, and Andre continues. He thinks the little boy had no one to talk to except an old woman telling him he was meant to do bad things. He says it’s a lot, but if Jake trusts him, he needs him to look at him. He tells Jake that he’s not that little boy anymore; he’s home and safe. He has his mom and dad and his brothers; he has Andre. He’s back where he belongs. He’s not a bad guy; he’s a good guy. I don’t think this is how word association works, but Andre is the psychiatrist. At a hospital I will never go to.

Carly tells Sonny that Josslyn knows. She says one minute they’re at each other’s throats, and the next they’re kissing. Sonny says he doesn’t blame Josslyn for being confused, but after what they’ve been though, it feels right. Carly says they keep going through the same cycle, and asks if he wants to go through it again. He says they made bad choices out of grief, but they can do better. Carly doesn’t want to risk doing it again, and risk hurting the ones they love. He asks if that’s really it, or is she still pissed about Jax?

Anna tells Nina that the WSB is confident they can secure a conviction. Nina talks about Valentin saying he’d be back last time, and he was. Anna can’t speculate. Nina says she knows Charlotte will miss him. Lulu has to pick her up, and asks Nina to wait to give her the dress personally. Anna says what about the message, but Lulu doesn’t know. She leaves, and Nina apologizes for putting Anna on the spot. Anna says it’s no secret how Lulu feels and why. Nina says it’s just them, and she wants to know what’s going to happen to Valentin.

Amy tells Nathan that there’s no book deal unless they can meet the man behind the column. Nathan says there is no man, and she should take credit for her own work. Clearly, he doesn’t have the answers to anyone’s problems, and the answer to this is no. He suggests she find someone else, and she tells him thanks for nothing. Geez, they’re basically acquaintances – Amy II expects a lot.

Anna doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but Valentin is living proof of what happens when the WSB wants to tie something off. She says the Chimera shouldn’t have existed in the first place, and they have to blame someone. She thinks they’re going to make Valentin the scapegoat. She doesn’t support it, but his hands aren’t clean. Nina says neither are her sister’s. Anna says they had her in custody, but she got away. She hates what Alex did, and thinks she should stand trial. Nina says it doesn’t matter; they’re getting divorced. Nina asks if Anna thinks she’s a coward. Anna says she can’t tell Nina how to think or feel, but the story isn’t black and white. The man she knew and married, Charlotte’s father, is a good man. She thinks he’s the man he wanted to be before it went so horribly wrong.

Carly says what Sonny did to Jax was wrong, but if the positions were reversed, she’d do the same. Sonny says thanks for admitting that they’re alike, which is why they belong together. She tells him that when things go wrong, they don’t balance each other out; they implode. He asks if she still wants a divorce.

Sam tells Elizabeth she’s sleep deprived and thinks she might be getting a cold. Elizabeth ask if she wants a doctor appointment, but Sam says no, and of course she can use her as a contact for Jake; she’s actually honored. Elizabeth asks her to have Jason call if he finds out anything. Sam says the guy is probably long gone, and Elizabeth says she hopes Sam is right. When Elizabeth is gone, Sam tells herself to get a grip. It’s nothing sleep won’t cure.

Spinelli tells Jason that maybe there was no delivery truck, and the guy came in a car. He notices one that was in the vicinity a couple of times. He can’t get clear image of a face, but gets the license plate. Jason says good thing Spinelli isn’t in the business anymore, or he might have to hack into government records and find out who owns the car. They smile at each other.

Lulu comes back with Charlotte. Nina tells Charlotte she missed her, and asks about camp. Charlotte asks if papa is back, but Nina says that she brought her something. Charlotte opens the box and says the dress is prettier than she’d imagined. Nina says she told them how to make it, so she’s the designer. Charlotte thanks her. Nina tells Charlotte that there have been a lot of changes, and she’s here living with her mom and new family. Nina thinks it’s cool, and wants her to know they won’t see each other that much anymore. Charlotte asks if she’s going away, but Nina says no. Charlotte is with her mom and family now, and she’s happy for her, but no matter what, she loves her. Charlotte says she knows, and loves her too. They sing a song together. Anna tells Lulu it’s not about them; it’s about Charlotte.

Sam wakes up startled, and thinking someone is there. She calls out, who are you, and what do you want? I’m not sure why people do that. If someone is sneaking around your house, they’re probably not going to answer those questions. Sam hears Scout crying, and goes upstairs.

Spinelli tells Jason that it’s a rental car, and he has to look up the license of the renter. After a moment, Spinelli says, got him.

Andre tells Elizabeth that he and Jake had a good talk. He’s a sensitive, bright boy, and they’re on the right track. Jake tells Andre he doesn’t want to be a magician anymore. Maybe he wants to play baseball. An orderly watches them from the hallway.

Lulu tells Charlotte that Anna has something for her too, from her papa. Anna tells her that Valentin was sad that he didn’t get to see her before he went away, but he made a video for her. She says she can set it up for privacy, but Charlotte wonders if Nina should hear it too, since she didn’t get to say good-by either.

Carly says she’ll sign everything back over to Sonny, and they can each keep what they brought to the marriage. He says rationally, it makes sense, and she asks if he agrees. He says they’ve been divorced before, and it didn’t change anything; they’re a part of each other. She says maybe they need to let go, and hugs him. That’s not letting go. She leaves, and Sonny ponders.

Charlotte gives Nina an earbud. She says she knows that Nina misses papa too. They listen together.

Amy is on the phone, saying she’ll find another way, and she’s sorry it’s going to take longer to find the money, but don’t give up, adding, I love you. Nathan overhears.

Sam says mommy needs her nap too, and gets back on the couch.

Spinelli asks Jason if he recognizes the guy, and he says yes. His name is Costa Phillipos, and he’s the orderly who was watching Jake.

Elizabeth thanks Andre. Jake says, happy mom, happy life. Andre thinks he might have a future as a baseball playing, motorcycle riding psychiatrist. Jake says he’ll think it over. The orderly follows them as they leave.

Tomorrow, Griff might know what’s wrong with Sam, Jake and Costa meet, and Olivia-F tells Julian to stay out of Leo’s life.

The Real Housewives of New York City

It’s morning at Sonja’s place, and her lover, Frenchie, is there. He’s already been up and out, and brought her a poinsettia, and is making eggs. In her interview, she says he’s taking it seriously, and it looks like they’re dating, and she’s dating Rocco. Tinsley comes down. She likes when Frenchie spends the night because she gets breakfast. In her interview, Tinsley tells us that originally Sonja had picked him out for her, and then scooped him up. They discuss relationships and labels. Zzzz… IMO nobody likes labels because they’re afraid to commit. To anything. In her interview, Sonja says it’s scary, and not what she was looking for, but expects things to fall into place. Frenchie mentions Rocco, so he’s not as ignorant as Sonja thinks. He makes more eggs, and I think I’m in love.

Bethenny is decorating for her holiday party. She wants it to be a glam NYC party. A super gigantic bottle of SkinnyGirl is brought in. There’s a luge made of ice on it, and some kind of contraption that you can drink out of. Someone gave me a bottle of her Cosmopolitan once, and it was good, but I was like, where’s the liquor? Dorinda throws a gift together in the car. Ramona wasn’t invited. She’s going out with Avery and her girlfriends instead. Do they know? Sonja is off to some faraway place after dropping in. Tinsley jokes that she and Connor are getting together while she’s away, but Sonja isn’t amused.

Bethenny has personalized ornaments for everyone. Dorinda arrives first, and marvels at the caviar. She asks the chef to teach her how to open an oyster. He says eating oysters is like eating the sea. Very poetic. Oyster success! Dorinda says the ornaments are perfect, and Bethenny says she has one for Luann, but she’s away. And Ramona isn’t allowed in her building. Coal for you!

Ramona and the girls go to a restaurant, and she suggests starting with a cocktail. In her interview, she says it’s like Avery’s Sweet Sixteen was yesterday, and now all the girls are in their twenties. Ramona tells the girls about how she blacked out and attacked Bethenny in a rage. She claims that she and Bethenny are a lot alike. One of the girls says she shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells with a friend, and Ramona acts like she’s Yoda. In her interview, Ramona says they have a bond and synergy. Oh… I’m not even sure what to say. We flash back to Dorinda squawking at her about the guest room being trashed.

Tinsley arrives at Bethenny’s party, laden with gifts. Everything is white and feathery, with red, and silver accents. Carole says she’d be a bigger drinker if they all came in an ice sculpture luge. Tinsley talks about Ramona not apologizing for trashing Dorinda’s room, but saying that she shouldn’t have come at Bethenny. Dorinda tells them that she suggested leaving Ramona a can of gasoline next time. Sonja joins the group, and Dorinda says she was recapping. She says that Ramona is all, ignore it and it will go away, and Carole is surprised at Ramona’s aggression. She thinks that divorced life isn’t as fun as Ramona thought it would be. Sonja says Ramona has always trashes hotel rooms. What?

At the restaurant, Ramona tells the story in a whole different way, making up some cock-and-bull story, and pretending it was nothing. <sigh> We saw the pictures. Ramona says how special the girls are to her, and everyone toasts.

Luann gets ready for her big day. Dorinda arrives. Luann thinks she forgot she had to be there early for hair and makeup, and went to the beach. In her interview, Luann says she’s a hopeless romantic (or maybe she’s just hopeless – BA-DUM-CHH!), and Tom is like “home” for her. She feels loved, wanted, and whole as a couple. The attendants come down the aisle, with Luann following with her brother. She says it’s everything she imagined, and of course, she looks breathtaking. The altar is adorned with a simple arch of flowers. In her interview, Luann says a lot of people weren’t supportive, so this is what she has to say to them, and holds up her ring fingers. The bride and groom are announced, and Marilyn Monroe pops out of a cake. The first dance and cake happen while Luann voiceovers about love.

Carole and Bethenny go to Chinatown. They have lunch at a dumpling house where you pick your own dumplings and other dishes out from a cart. Carole wants Bethenny to choose her food. Bethenny says Carole is literally lost in America. They talk about not being invited to Luann’s wedding. In her interview, Carole alludes to something about Tom, but I’m not sure what. That he’s gay? A playboy? I don’t know. Adam has finally moved out. Carole tells Bethenny it’s time, and six months of living together was a lot. She feels like there’s balance again.

Ramona visits Dorinda. Fast wedding. Do we get a special? Dorinda tells Ramona that she forgot to book some of the flights. In her interview, she hopes it wasn’t anything psychological. She says Luann looked like a princess, and shows Ramona some video clips. In her interview, Dorinda tells us that she also forgot her dress. She doesn’t want to go to any more parties right now. Apparently, Luann is having a party for the people who weren’t invited, or as Ramona says, the discards.

Bethenny and Ramona go to an ice cream place, where Bethenny orders green tea Oreo. Carole tries blueberry lavender, and makes a face like you would think. She ends up getting chocolate, and Bethenny tells her that she’s boring.

Sonja says she has to make space for Frenchie’s things. She explains to Tinsley that she told him that he’s more on Tinsley’s list than hers, because he’ll want kids, and he said what about adoption? Sonja pretends to faint. She gives Tinsley instructions on the changes he wants, and says it’s a conundrum. Tinsley wonders if she can make changes too.

NYC at Christmastime is a wonderland. Bethenny hopes this is the last celebration she attends for a wedding she wasn’t invited to. She says she did call Luann a whore though, and deserves her station in life, the aftermath party. Ha-ha! She hits the bar before anyone else gets there. Dorinda is next, and Bethenny says it’s weird that she’s been there by by herself for fifteen minutes. Ever the hostess, even though it’s not her party, Dorinda apologizes. Dorinda tells her about the wedding, and how they have to stop celebrating now. Bethenny says it’s like Ramadan.

Luann arrives – she’s married – time to celebrate! She says she didn’t cut the line, she just got in it, and got a great guy. Ramona thinks the venue is drab, and maybe they ran out of money. She’s the worst. She asks Luann about the wedding, explaining to Avery that it was Luann’s first wedding, since she eloped the first time. Luann tells them how wonderful it was. Ramona thinks Tinsley’s date – Troy, the guy she met at the bar – is more appropriate for Avery. Tinsley happens to look quite young, you jealous thing. I never liked them younger even when I was, but I think you should date/marry whoever you bloody well want to.

Tom talks about Luann putting her heart and soul into the wedding. Sonja makes a grand entrance with Frenchie. She’d been keeping him on the DL, but now her worlds are mixed. Tinsley tells Bethenny about Frenchie moving in, and Bethenny compares it to Three’s Company. I hear Ramona’s annoying laugh. In her interview, Dorinda wonders how that works with Sonja still dating Rocco.

Tinsley’s date is twenty-three. Carole thinks that’s fine, but he’s not husband material for her. Sonja says Ramona generally doesn’t bring one of her victims out in public. In other words, she’s brought a date. Tinsley spills her wine. Troy swills his wine. Frenchie talks about bicycling through a vineyard. Sonja says Tinsley’s date is like, twelve, and Ramona tells her to shush. Tom says Luann is a great cook, and Carole asks if he actually saw her make the food. Sonja introduces them to Frenchie.

Tom says Luann is the best present he ever got. Dorinda bangs on a glass for attention. She says since she made a speech that was barely understandable at the engagement party, she’s making a toast now. She thanks Luann for having them, and asks if they’re done celebrating. Everyone laughs. Encouraged, She gets off on a small tangent about how great the wedding was, even though some of them weren’t invited, and how good it made her feel. Tom says she always makes it nice. Kudos to him for paying attention. He talks about never being happier, and everyone drinks. Bethenny and company drink to the friends that weren’t invited.

Next time, Sonja tells Frenchie that everyone is joking about them, Sonja talks to Rocco, Frederik is back, and Dorinda tries to play peacemaker. Good luck with that.

🍳 Aarón Sánchez has joined Gordon and Christina Tosi as a judge on MasterChef. Gordon told contestant Mark that his American breakfast dish was “hard to look at,” and asked if he was just going through the motions. In all honesty, looking at his plate, I thought I could go through the motions better than that and wondered how he got here. That’s the first time I’ve said that in the history of MasterChef. Not surprisingly, Mark went home. He was a good loser sport, but then negated it by saying if he had two arms, he’d be patting himself on the back. Humility, dude.

🍜 On The f Word, Kal Pen, Max Greenfield, and Katy Perry were guests. The challenge dish was chicken parmigiana, with  spaghetti and broccoli rabe. The challengers were The Meatheads – a group of friends and retired football players – vs Win & Stein – siblings from Boca Raton who dress in costume on Thanksgiving, when they play a game of kickball, a bottle of champagne going to the winners. The Meatheads had the highest percentage of diners saying they’d pay for the meal, therefore moving to the finals. This surprised me, since several of the diners had complained of the chicken being undercooked.

It was National Bourbon Day, so Gordon played a game of truth or fiction with Kal, the loser drinking a shot. Gordon lost miserably, and after a few shots, started tossing them on the floor. After Kal answered wrong, and took an extra shot to make it more even, he found out Gordon’s glasses contained green tea instead. The Guinness world record holder was challenged by Gordon to a match of halibut fileting. (It has to be cut into portions of a certain size as well.) Nineteen-year-old Jenna Fabich lost by 9 seconds, and Gordon now holds the title. Katy and Gordon made meatballs over spiralized vegetables, with Katy being given only vocal instructions, as Gordon set up a partition between them. I find her alternately fun and irritating. I was good with her until she ran away from a smoking pan. If there had been a couch in the vicinity, I’m sure she would have jumped on it. I have to mention too, that this show is filmed live, which adds a certain flavor to the atmosphere. No pun intended, but it is an f-word. Next time, it’s Andy Cohen in a cook-off with Gordon, there’s a fishing excursion, and Gordon’s daughter, Tilly, joins him.

🎪 This week, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 2008 – oh, the year my life started going downhill. Britney Spear’s breakdown, and the YouTube guy who yelled “leave her alone!” Octomom, and Bernie Madoff (even Elie Wiesel got taken). Obama (thanks for ruining my life during your administration) and how that ties into Trump (thanks for ruining my life right now, because I can’t win no matter what party is in office). Ironman, Dark Knight, and the more human superheroes. Heath Ledger’s death, the beginnings of The Real Housewives of the OC, and the housing market crash. Kevin Smith commenting on the comics come to life, and the guys from Million Dollar Listing giving insight into the real estate drop. In an amusing moment, while Sarah Palin was being discussed, Andy accidentally called Tina Fey “Tina Palin.” When cultures collide. An interesting bit of Trivia was also handed to Meghan McCain when Andy told her about a cereal named after her father (and a few other political figures), the profits going to kickstart Airbnb. She was like, my father didn’t see a dime, but more power to them. Next time is the season finale. They didn’t give a year, but it looks like the theme is the rich and famous. I’ll be sad when this is over – it’s been a fun look back!

Jun8

June 7, 2017 – Nina Says Good-by, Ramona Spontaneously Combusts, 1981 & Lotsa Food

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan visits Curtis with a cupcake that has a candle in it. She remembered it was his birthday, and brought his favorite, red velvet. She tells him make a wish, and he says it already came true.

Finn and Hayden talk about the upcoming baby and his drug test. Obrecht overhears.

Elizabeth’s house is being fumigated from the class guinea pig’s visit. Cameran is miffed that he has to go to work with her.

Spencer says he’s still on French time, but Laura tells him to get his intercontinental butt in gear. He says now that Valentin is in custody, he can be in Port Charles permanently, instead of in exile.

Valentin asks Dante and Lulu how Charlotte is. Lulu told her that he’s away on business and there’s a time difference, so they couldn’t call right now, and it seemed to satisfy her. She says she wants what best for Charlotte, and Dante says that’s why they’re here. Valentin is going to prison, and they have to figure out what’s going to happen with her.

Anna thinks about what Valentin said about her own transgressions.

Finn tells Hayden that he’s not taking a backseat to prenatal visits just because he might be reinstated. She wonders why he seems skeptical about reinstatement. He says someone is tampering with his drug screens, but what if it’s not Brad? Hayden tells him good things are coming. She makes him say it, and they kiss.

Elizabeth tells Cameran he needs to do his summer reading. He takes out a comic book, and she’s like, no. Hayden comes to the desk. Elizabeth fills her in as to why Cameran is there, and Hayden says she has the day off, and can take Cameran for the day. She says it will be good practice. Elizabeth asks for what, and Hayden gets vague, talking about someday.

Spencer tells Laura that he knows his father isn’t coming back, but Laura is there, and Alexis. She says they’ve all missed him, but she put him in the school for his safety. Valentin being arrested is a good start, but she wants to know the charges will stick. Spencer talks about Anna being fearless and resourceful.

Mac sees Anna in the park. He says Robert thinks Valentin’s extradition will be hard on her. She says that Robert should mind his own business. It’s her job, but she thinks it has little to do with justice.

Nathan asks Nina how she is, and she says how do you think? To him Valentin is a fugitive; to her he’s her husband and he loves Charlotte. She says they could have gotten away if it wasn’t for her.

Lulu says Charlotte needs to be with her mother. He says she’ll be fine with Nina. Lulu tells him that Nina is the one who turned him in. Because she’s a selfish twit.

Jordan says she has to go to work. Curtis says he only gets one birthday, but she says it will still be his birthday when she gets off. He says it sounds like she has something planned, but he’d be happy to just be with her. She says he already has her, he doesn’t need to game her. He says it’s how he feels, and that every day with her is a gift. She says maybe she could push back some things to the afternoon. They get busy, and Curtis says, happy birthday to me.

Elizabeth agrees to Hayden taking Cameran for the afternoon. Laura arrives with Spencer. He says he moved back home, but Laura says they’re discussing it. He bluffed his way out of boarding school and turned up on her doorstep. Hayden tells him she’s sorry his dad is gone, and makes him promise that they’ll catch up. Elizabeth says that she doesn’t have to take Cameran. Cameran tells Spencer that he just missed Emma, and that they hung out. Laura says that today, Spencer is going to wait quietly while she goes to her meeting. He asks Hayden to save him, and she suggests he come with her and Cameran.

Anna says that Valentin isn’t innocent, but not as guilty as the bureau maintains. Max says she blames Alex. She says so far, Alex is refusing to cooperate, but it will change now that Valentin has been apprehended. She wonders if Alex will pin it all on him.

Nathan tells Nina that Valentin has committed so many crimes, they can’t even try him in the US. It has to go to the ICC. She tells him to stop acting like it’s black and white for her. Years ago, he had a weapon that he sold to Helena and it was horrible, but he also saved her life and got shot because of it. He fell in love with her and made her happier than she’s ever been. He made her part of a family, and it was real. She says she doesn’t know if she can turn her back on him.

Valentin tells Lulu that Nina was acting in Charlotte’s best interest, and will continue to do so as her stepmother. Lulu says she should have been in court this morning then, and he says they didn’t waste time. She asks him to help work through the transition to minimize Charlotte’s confusion and fear. Like it or not, they both have to be her parents right now.

Griff talks to Finn about Ava. He says his real concern is infection, and he needs Finn’s expertise. Obrecht says unless he can’t provide it.

Elizabeth calls Hayden. She’s at Perks with the boys, and she says she’s got this. They order drinks, and she asks if they’re allowed all that caffeine and sugar.

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte needs continuity. They need him to tell Charlotte that he wants her to stay with them. They need to make her understand, and it will be hard, but worse if he’s not in their corner. Valentin says he’ll do it on one condition – no one tells her why he’s there. He’ll choose the reason and tell her himself, and they’ll back him up. Lulu agrees. She says it’s really what’s best. Dante says they’ll be in touch.

Max asks if Anna is okay with testifying. She says Alex had no problem keeping her in a drug induced coma and impersonating her. He says what about Valentin? Is she going to be able to take the stand against him?

Valentin has a visitor. It’s Nina. He smiles at her.

Curtis says thanks for his dessert. Jordan says he barely touched it, and he says that he was satisfied with other desert. She leaves for work and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Curtis’s Aunt Stella. She asks if he always answers the door in his altogether, and when was the last time he cleaned. He asks if she’s okay. She says she came to surprise him on his birthday, and asks if it’s a problem. He says no, and tells her to have a seat. He asks if she wants anything, and she says to know what’s going on in his life.

Nathan tells Jordan that Valentin is behaving himself. Nina asks Valentin about his wound, and he says it’s healing. She says he must know they wouldn’t have found him if not for her. He asks if she’s apologizing. She says she didn’t think it would be good for Charlotte to be a fugitive. She thinks he knows that oo, and panicked, which isn’t his style. He says it wasn’t his best plan, but for the record, he was going to send for her. Nina says she’d be a fugitive too. He says they could have continued as a family, and would have been happy. Nina says now they’ll never know.

Anna tells Mac that she doesn’t have much to offer. It would just be her word against his. She can say he took the Chimera from the ballroom with the intention to destroy it, but surrendered it to her. She says she’ll be 100% honest, but any case they have rests with Alex.

Obrecht tells Griff that Finn is suspended and can’t do a consultation, but Griff says no one else is as experienced. Obrecht suggests that Finn’s judgement might be clouded by drugs. Griff asks Finn if he’s under the influence, and when Finn says no, he says it’s good enough for him. Obrecht asks if it will be good enough for Ava if Finn’s faculties are impaired. Griff says it’s just a consult; he’s not treating anyone. As they leave, Obrecht says nor will he be.

Hayden suggests the museum. Spencer likes it, but Cameran would rather go to the park and play soccer. Spencer says he knew it would be too intellectually challenging for Cameran, but they can go and Cameran can find a soccer game. Maybe someone will pick him up like the stray that he is. Cameran tells Spencer that no one missed him, adding that he kissed Emma and she loved it. Spencer throws whipped cream at him.

Laura tells Elizabeth that the meeting canceled. She says she could get Spencer, but Elizabeth tells her to do something for herself. Laura likes the sound of that, but her phone rings. It’s Hayden asking for help. Spencer and Cameran are going wild, throwing things, especially frothy things, all over the place.

Laura arrives at Perks she says that’s enough in her angry grandma voice. She tells the boys that they both know better than this. Cameran says Spencer started it, and Spencer says he was trying to protect himself. Laura tells them to clean up everything. She asks Hayden what happened. Hayden says they had caffeine and sugar and went crazy. She’s pregnant and what kind of mother is she going to be? She starts crying, and Laura hugs her

Finn asks to talk to Obrecht. He says he accepts she doesn’t like him, but doesn’t know why she’d want Ava to suffer. They don’t have to be friends, but just good doctors. He asks her to put her hate for him aside for long enough to do right by the patient.

Curtis tells Stella he’s still doing PI stuff, and really likes Port Charles. He offers to show her around, but she says she doesn’t want to be any trouble. She asks if he’s seeing anyone. He says he’s always seeing someone, and she asks if it’s someone she should meet. He starts talking about the hotel, and she says she can stay with him.

Robert calls Anna. She asks if his ears were burning, and then says, what? when?

Dante wonders if they should pull Charlotte and Rocco out of school for the day. Lulu says she’s worried about how Charlotte is going to handle the news. Dante says she has an extensive support system. Lulu says none of them are her father, and she’s going to find out the truth. She asks when it comes out, what if she blames Lulu? Because all Lulu ever thinks about is herself.

Valentin talks about how Nina turned him in once before, and that she made the right decision, but her eyes betrayed her. He knew he’d see her again. Now he loves her, and can’t imagine life without her. She says it was different last time, and part of her knew he’d come back. This time, he won’t. Even if he beats the charges, he won’t come back to her. He says he loves her. He has a past, and it’s over. Nina says so is the part with her and gives him divorce papers. Argh! My heart!

Stella asks Curtis if she’ll be in his way, and he says no; he’ll crash on the couch. She says she’ll cook, but he says his cupboards are bare. She says they’ll go shopping. He asks how long she’s staying, and she tells him long enough to celebrate his birthday and see TJ. As long as she doesn’t cross paths with his mother, she’ll be fine. Gulp.

Jordan is having something delivered for Curtis’s birthday. Nathan has the transfer information for Valentin, and they go to her office.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s not asking for anything except her freedom. Valentin says what if he doesn’t want to be free from her?

Laura tells Hayden that they don’t pop out like this. By the time they’re at this stage, you’ve learned to wrangle them. She says congratulations, and tells Hayden that she can do this. Hayden asks her not to tell Elizabeth, and Laura agrees to keep it between them.

Griff asks for a word with Finn. Finn asks how soon he can see patients. Griff tells him that the test was positive for opioids, and they have no reason to question the results, since he hasn’t noticed the venomous hate pulsating from Obrecht. Finn says, so he’s suspended.

Nina tells Valentin that she can’t be married to a man in prison, and can’t be step mother to a girl she loves who lives with another family. She says it was gorgeous and beautiful, but it’s over. He asks her not to do this. She says it’s one less thing for him to worry about and leaves. Outside, she leans on the door.

Mac asks Anna if it’s bad news, and she says it depends on your point of view. Alex escaped, and the WSB doesn’t know where she is.

Another visitor comes for Valentin. He says, of course it’s you.

Curtis argues with Stella about Jordan, Michael wants Ava to pay, and Carly asks why Nelle would do anything to help them.

The Real Housewives of New York City

When we last left the Wives, Ramona kept repeating, “Are you kidding me?” twenty-thousand times, after Bethenny told her she hadn’t been a good friend.

Ramona says, “wow,” a few times too. She talks about when Bethenny was sick and she visited. Bethenny informs her that those are crisis moments, and most people rise to the occasion. Ramona says Bethenny has never been there for her the same way. Bethenny brings up some of the idiotic, nasty things Ramona has done, including stealing dresses from her. In a major deflective move, Ramona says Bethenny was topless, had sex in a water bed, and kissed another woman in a film. Bethenny tells her to mention it all, and Ramona says she went out with men for the money. In her interview, Bethenny says she can’t even screw her way to the middle, let alone to the top. Ramona says that Bethenny pretends to be a successful woman, but her brand is done, and Ramona is on top. Bethenny suggests she look at the numbers. In her interview, Ramona says she wants to hurt Bethenny because Bethenny is hurting her. She says Bethenny has always been paid for, while she is a self-made woman. I wonder how much alimony she’s getting. Ramona starts crying about her marriage. Bethenny tells her that she doesn’t see herself, and Ramona calls her an opportunist and user. She says Bethenny is broken, and she feels sorry for her. Ramona says that she loves people, but Bethenny attacked her, so she’s attacking back. Bethenny says she did nothing of the sort, but the truth came out, and Ramona calls her Bethenny the bitchy witch because Ramona has the insult capability of a five-year-old. Bethenny says it figures nobody else was there, and no one will understand what just happened.

Ramona complains to Dorinda about Bethenny. Sonja says she told Ramona to leave Bethenny alone. Ramona tells her own version of the story, which is very different from what we just saw. Bethenny talks to Carole, saying that it defies description, and every jealous thing Ramona has been storing up, came out. In her interview, Sonja says she’s not giving what Ramona says much credence. Ramona claims that Bethenny had sex for money. Dorinda comes to Bethenny’s room, and Bethenny says she’s leaving. Ramona continues to spin everything that Bethenny has ever done. Dorinda says every time Bethenny comes there, it’s a nightmare for her, and she wishes Ramona was the one leaving. Carole says she’ll go back to the city with her. Ramona calls her a loser, saying that Bethenny is just using her. As Bethenny is leaving, Ramona says, you started it (omg, she really is five), and Bethenny says as long as she’s happy with herself. Bethenny tells Ramona that she got her way, and they’ll never speak again. Ramona asks why she’s such a vicious bitch, and Bethenny tells her, that’s why. Ramona insists she was just trying to apologize, doesn’t get what’s wrong with Bethenny, and babbles about how they’ll get over it. Bethenny says she’s never coming back here again.

Feeling better, Tinsley comes downstairs, and is like, wow. Dorinda asks if she was there for the whole thing, but she says she couldn’t, and asks what happened. Dorinda says she didn’t expect such a tremendous argument, but there’s always next year. She talks about coming down to get water at 2 am, and finding Sonja sleeping sitting up at the dining room table. She nearly freaked out, thinking Sonja had died from a heart attack. We all start laughing, as Dorinda paints a picture of her waking Sonja in a panic.

Ramona’s phone rings. In her interview, she says she knows she drank too much and had a loose tongue, but doesn’t remember what she said. However, when she talks to the other women, Ramona makes something else up, including that she’d been defending Dorinda. We flash back to when Ramona criticized Dorinda about John. In her interview, Dorinda says Ramona is trying to backtrack. The Countess LuAnn appears, and says she’s there to make eggs a la Française, which is the cure-all for everything. In her interview, Dorinda tells us that Sonja decided to wear a beautiful pair of pajamas her late husband had given her – that were in a zipped bag in the closet. Doesn’t Sonja have her own loungewear? They are really nice.

Ramona talks to herself about Bethenny as she packs. Seriously, there is something wrong with this woman. Dorinda bids good-by to Luann, and says another one down. Sonja jumps on Tinsley’s bed, and tells her that she’s decided to invade Tinsley’s space. Tinsley says she knows she’s living at Sonja’s, but it’s unfair to make her uncomfortable. She thinks Sonja blew the Conner thing out of proportion. Sonja thinks she’s been easy-going, yet reminds Tinsley again that she can’t use Conner. Tinsley says she’s got it. In her interview, Dorinda says she loves to see them coming, and loves to see the going. Finally, everyone is out.

Back at Dorinda’s apartment on the UES, Dorinda unpacks. She says Ramona trashed her room in the Berkshires, pulling light fixtures off the wall. We see a picture, and I think, who does that? I’m sure I’ve been as drunk as you can get, and I have never once pulled anyone’s light fixtures off the wall. Dorinda says the house in the Berkshires is her home and a legacy, and enough has been taken from her. I’d have Ramona freaking arrested. Dorinda says that Ramona never even said a word. She wonders if Ramona treats all of her friends like this. I’d change Ramona’s tagline to, If you like me, you must have no taste. I also have to mention that her pupils are HUGE. Just sayin’.

Tinsley visits Carole. Carole wonders how Tinsley can still be living at Sonja’s, and is going to show her an apartment in the building. In her interview, Carole says she wants to take Tinsley under her wing a bit. Tinsley says she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. Carole shows her the apartment along with the owner. It’s gorgeous, no surprise, and also huge. And $7,100 a month. They go back to Carole’s, where Adam is creating a salad for lunch. Carole talks about an art gallery opening, and they discuss the building and the area. Tinsley is concerned about being too far from where she gets her blow-out. Carole wonders if she really wants a change, or does she want to repeat her past life? Adam takes blog pics of them eating the salad. If I could afford it, I’d move in there in a heartbeat. Or a New York minute as it were.

Bethenny and her assistant go over her schedule. Bethenny is feeling overloaded. She finds a dead moth in the closet that she spent ten grand to de-mothify. Her assistant looks up the moth on the internet.

Dorinda meets Jill Zarin and her husband, Bobby, at a restaurant. Dorinda and her late husband had been friends with them. Jill talks about having a luncheon way back when, and we see an old clip with Dorinda in it. Luann arrives with Tom in tow.  The Zarins have been invited to the wedding. Dorinda talks about the fight in the Berkshires. Luann adds that Ramona had been swilling pinot, and brings up Ramona’s interest in Tom’s behavior. Tom says Ramona has made it her mission to dig up dirt on him. Luann says that they don’t let gossip interfere with their relationship. Jill talks about when Ramona blew off her party to do something else, and we see some old clips of altercations between the two of them. Tom says he doesn’t care so much, but feels badly for Luann. Jill says that Ramona’s life is such a mess, she wants everyone else’s to be a mess. She’s lonely, so she wants everyone else to be. Dorinda thinks Ramona isn’t unhappy, but going through something. Like what? Menopause? Jill gets nosy about who was invited to the wedding.

Carole arrives at the gallery opening. She is the subject of many a painting, being the nude muse for the artist. Carole greets Dorinda. They discuss the fight, and Carole thinks both Ramona and Bethenny are coming. Dorinda is about to say something important, when Tinsley interrupts. Dorinda tells them that her house was destroyed, and Ramona’s room was a disaster area. Bethenny joins them, wondering if the topless paintings will bother anyone. Dorinda says the room was trashed. She thinks that somehow Ramona feels betrayed. Bethenny says unless she the one who had sex with Mario, she shouldn’t be treated that way.

Ramona makes a grand entrance. Bethenny heads in the other direction. Dorinda talks about how lovely Carole’s natural boobs are. Ramona acts like an over-enthused jerk about her own anatomy, and I’d be embarrassed to be seen with her. Dorinda tells her that her room was a disaster, and it made her feel depressed. Ramona ignores her, and goes on about something else. Dorinda says if she was a bitch, she’d sue Ramona. Do it! Carole’s dentist arrives, and she introduces him to Tinsley because he’s single.

Sonja blows in. Bethenny greets her, and she asks if Bethenny has put the Berkshires behind her. Bethenny says everything Ramona ever did flashed before her eyes, and now she gets how Ramona feels about her. She says she hit the jack pot, and she never saw someone so jealous about it. She tells Sonja that you can’t be a friend with someone who has a rifle pointed at you. Ramona horns into the conversation, saying hello to Sonja, and Bethenny says ttyl. Sonja starts to reprimand Ramona, but Ramona interrupts, reminding her of last season when Bethenny said she was never talking to Sonja again. She calls Bethenny judgmental, and says she has two sets of rules, and she’s sick of it. I know people who are like that, but I don’t think Bethenny is one of them. Sonja says Ramona messed up, but in typical fashion, can never admit she’s wrong.

Dorinda and Carole discuss the paintings.

Tom and Luann head out to Palm Beach. In her interview, Luann says she’s happy, excited, and nervous; it’s overwhelming and fabulous at the same time. She says they’ve been through hell, but they got through it. They discuss some details in the car. She thinks they shouldn’t be together the night before. Ooh, it’s a private helicopter. Luann says she got the glass slipper and that’s why they’re all pissed off.

This season, sun and fun, snow and fun, Carole sets up Tinsley, Harry makes an appearance, suckerfish Jason Hoppy gets arrested for stalking, a party in Mexico, Bethenny and Ramona tangle some more, and Tinsley and Sonja rumble. Sonja says, welcome to her friend group, like they’re toddlers, which is appropriate.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1981 – one of my favorite years! Morgan Fairchild was on the cover of every magazine; Tori Spelling got her first job on Vegas – her one line being “Hi, Uncle Dan.” Dynasty was the big TV show, and also bred shoulder pads. They were in every garment too. Since I’m built like a small football player, I was constantly removing them. The connection to today’s obsession with rich reality TV families, like the Kardashians and the Real Housewives was discussed. Ronald Reagan became POTUS, and was also shot, telling Nancy that he forgot to duck. MTV was born, with Video Killed the Radio Star being its first effort. Bevy Smith commented that it looked like something from a puppet theater, which made me laugh. Truth! The B52s were also interviewed. Fred Schneider is friends with someone I know, and we’ve crossed paths occasionally. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to get a chance to sing Love Shack with him at karaoke.

The Royal Wedding happened, and even I got up before the crack of dawn to watch. It was commented that, although beautiful, Diana’s dress looked heavy and miserable, and that the marriage went much the same way. Lisa Vanderpump also married Ken Todd that year, and used the same dress designer. I think I actually like her dress better. Less poufy. We also now know where Andy keeps his stash – in a Charles and Diana commemorative tea tin. General Hospital‘s Luke and Laura were also wed. I was there too, albeit through my VCR. It was talked about how today, protests would be had and tweets would be sent over the storyline of a rapist marrying their victim. Mommie Dearest was a top film, and also the basis for RuPaul’s Drag Race persona. We also met the first child conceived by IVF, who talked about being trotted out at every life milestone to prove she was still “normal.”

Next time, 2008, Britney Spear’s downfall, Bernie Madoff, and the Octomom.

🍳 MasterChef was still passing out white aprons, the last one going to a cowboy cook. The loser said he was going home proud, as he should be, and that he lost fair and square to a guy with a good cupcake.

🍴 On The f Word, James Corden, funny as usual, competed with Gordon in a cookoff and lost. He commented on how different Gordon was on this show, saying he thought he was always grumpy in the kitchen. The Cooking Cubans faced School Pride in the restaurant challenge, School Pride winning with the most succulent Southern-style pork chop ever. Gordon also fed some NASCAR drivers, and did a spin around the track of his own. Next time, Katy Perry is up against Gordon, and there’s scuba diving for dinner.

 

Jun1

May 31, 2017 – Nina Has a Realization, Bethenny Breaks Down, a Little Scandal & Gordon is Everywhere

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan and Curtis bask in the afterglow. He tells her that he never thought it would happen, and she says she had to make him work for it a little. She adds that she had a fear of “us.”

Nathan talks to Anna. She tells him the Chimera canister has been destroyed under her personal supervision.

Nina stands by Valentin’s hospital bed. She tells him he’s going in for surgery. He saved her life, and got shot for it. Valentin asks her to promise to remember that no matter what, he loves her. She asks what he means by “no matter what.”

Anna tells Laura that it’s a complex situation. Lulu asks if anyone was hurt, and Anna tells them that Valentin was shot and is in surgery.

Kiki leaves a voicemail for Ava, because she has no clue what’s going on yet. Dillon brings fresh coffee to the hospital for her. She thanks him, saying tonight is going to be a long one. There’s a patient in the burn unit who needs extra staff, so she has to help pick up the slack elsewhere.

At the station, Dante tells Sonny and Carly that Ava is in critical condition. Sonny says they gave their statement, and Carly says they have nothing to hide. Dante asks why they were in the warehouse. Sonny says they were confronting Ava about what she did to Morgan. Carly tells Dante that Ava drove him to his death by replacing his lithium with placebos.

Nina tells Valentin he’s going to be okay. She says he loved her enough to sing to her in front of everyone. She tells him that he needs to be okay; she and Charlotte are depending on him. He wants her to check on Charlotte, and she says when she comes back, he’s going to be awake and fine, or he’ll never hear the end of it.

Anna explains everything to Laura and Lulu about how Valentin sold the Chimera to Helena. Laura says the only thing she ever believed about Valentin was that he loathed Helena. Anna says he needed the money, and Valentin thought Helena died without using it, but she’d programmed Jake. She asks if she can leave Emma for the night; she has some things to finish. Lulu asks what she should tell Charlotte. Anna says she’ll check at the hospital and text her. Laura asks what about Valentin’s involvement? Anna says to tell Charlotte that her father was very brave; it’s too soon to say anything else.

Nina runs into Nathan and thanks him. He says he has to talk to her about Valentin. There’s a lot she doesn’t know about his involvement in the Chimera Project. She says they’ll have to talk later; she has to check on Charlotte. In all the excitement, I forgot to mention that Nina is wearing the most beautiful purple sequined ballgown with a mermaid hem. It’s like something out of an Estée Lauder or Lancôme commercial.

Jordan tells Curtis that he exceeded her expectations. He’s a bedroom god and has ruined her for all other men. She says she feels blessed and grateful. Curtis says just wait. He’s going to render her speechless.

Kiki asks if Dillon thought her mother was acting strangely, and he says yes. If it was anyone else, he would have thought she was just being a mom. Kiki says she seemed intense, but distracted.

Dante asks if Sonny and Carly have proof of Ava’s involvement in Morgan’s death. Carly says Ava admitted it. Dante asks what they found at the warehouse. Carly says it was dark, but they eventually came across Ava with a kerosene lamp. Dante asks if that’s how the fire started, and Sonny says it started when she threw the lamp at Carly. Well, that’s not exactly what she did, or she has seriously bad aim.

Curtis asks what Jordan wants to do about dinner, and she can’t believe he’s thinking about food. Not for long. They start getting busy again.

Nathan says he guesses this is the classified business Anna had with Alex at the airport. Anna explains about their falling out, and how her sister impersonated her. She says in Helena’s last act, she was almost successful in programming Jake, but in the end, it was Valentin who got the Chimera back to her.

Laura tells Lulu not to judge herself. If Valentin drops off the face of the earth, it would solve her problems, and her brother’s murderer would get what’s coming to him. If he doesn’t pull through, she has nothing to feel guilty about. Lulu says Charlotte adores him, and she doesn’t want her to go through that kind of pain. The doorbell rings. It’s Nina.

Carly repeats that Ava admitted she switched the pills to keep Morgan away from Kiki. Dante is skeptical. Carly says if her plan had worked, Morgan would be over-medicated in Freedman, but still alive. Sonny says Ava’s miserable life wouldn’t have been worth the trouble of him killing her. Dante is still doubtful of them going there just to discuss things. Carly calls Ava a coward, telling Dante that Ava threw the lamp after she called Ava out.

Kiki tells Dillon that Ava thinks she’ll have more access to Avery if Carly is divorced from Sonny. She says she can’t get drawn in again. Epiphany comes out, and tells Kiki that she has bad news.

Nina asks about Charlotte, and Lulu says she’s sleeping like an angel, inviting Nina in. Laura says they heard Valentin was shot. Nina says she knows he’s not her favorite person, but he was a hero. Lulu says she doesn’t know. Laura says everything that happened was set into motion by Valentin.

Anna tells Nathan what happened, and how she and Valentin argued over the Chimera. She says in the midst of it, they got a call from Nina. While Valentin went to outwit, outplay and outlast Nina’s abductors, she went to get the Chimera annihilated. Now, it’s no longer a threat to anyone.

Curtis tells Jordan to never stop challenging him, and Jordan says he’s worth the trouble. They’re about to kiss, and Jordan’s phone rings. She says it’s Anna. He says what has Anna done except get her in trouble, but Jordan says that Anna is the one who told her to go for it with him. She has to go to work, and tells him that it’s a classified event. Curtis says he hates letting her go, but knows it can’t wait. She promises to make it up to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Ava used the distraction of Carly falling to pull out her gun and accuse him of Morgan’s death. Carly says by the time the fire spread, they were on opposite sides of it. Sonny says there was a back door, and Dante asks why she didn’t use it. Carly says they were trying to find their own way out, and weren’t thinking about Ava’s escape route.

Epiphany tells Kiki that the burn patient is her mother.

Curtis puts the empty room service tray in the hallway. Grace walks by. She’s there for an interview, and asks what he’s doing in a hotel, and if the room service is that good. He says he didn’t dine alone. Grace asks if he wants to grab a drink.

Anna tells Jordan that the weapon has been neutralized. Jordan asks how it got there, and Anna explains about Helena programming Jake. She says that Jordan needs to know that Valentin sold it to Helena after her sister got him to steal it for her.

Laura tells Nina that Valentin stole the biotoxin years ago and sold it to Helena. Nina says he hated Helena, but Laura says he was a fugitive and needed the money for surgeries. Nina says it was decades ago. Lulu tells her that Helena literally programmed Jake to use it. Since Charlotte and Emma were next to him, they would have been the first to be exposed.

Kiki asks Epiphany how bad Ava is, but she’s still being evaluated. Kiki wants to see her, but Epiphany says she can’t. Dillon asks if they know anything, and Epiphany says she has burns over 50% of her body. Kiki asks if she’s saying Ava could die

Carly tells Dante that the warehouse is like a maze, and it’s amazing (I don’t think pun intended, but she used that word) that they found their way out. She says they called 911 immediately when they got outside. Sonny says that Ava started the fire and trapped herself.

Curtis tells Grace he’ll take a pass. He doesn’t want to mess things up. Grace says she must be something else, and she’s happy for him. He says no, she’s not, and she says to wish her luck; they might end up being neighbors.

Jordan asks about Anna’s health, and Anna says Alex arranged for her to be treated. She’s back now, and the Chimera is destroyed. Other than Valentin, no one was hurt. Nathan tells them that the surgery is over. I can’t help thinking there’s still something up with this Chimera business. The fact that it’s not a threat anymore has been repeated a million times. Usually, that means something is still a threat.

Nina tells Laura and Lulu that Anna’s version of the truth isn’t the truth, because they know how it is where Valentin is concerned. Lulu says that Anna did claim there were mitigating circumstances, but Laura says that if Valentin hadn’t sold it in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. Nina remembers Valentin telling her that she transformed him, and he had been a bad man. She says omg, it was him. I’m saying, omg, how about Anna’s involvement and being a double-agent? I guess we’re bypassing that.

Dante tells Sonny and Carly they’re free to go. After he’s out of the room, Carly tells Sonny that maybe they shouldn’t have talked without Diane. Sonny says the evidence backs them up. They’ll figure out that Ava did it to herself. He tells Carly not to waste her compassion. I guess like most husbands, he wasn’t really listening, since she was only being concerned about the two of them.

Epiphany tells Kiki that Ava is getting the best care. Kiki asks her to tell Ava that she loves her. Kiki asks Dillon how this could have happened. Dante comes by, and Dillon asks him how this happened. Dante explains that Ava had a confrontation with Sonny and Carly. Kiki asks if it was about Avery, but Dante says it was about her involvement in Morgan’s death.

Carly says last thing she feels is compassion. Sonny talks about Morgan thinking his own mind had turned against him. He says Ava doesn’t have a clue, and he doesn’t care that she’s going through this hell. Carly says she doesn’t want to let this go, and what do they do if she lives? Sonny says hope she gets caught, tried, and put away. Carly says it won’t bring Morgan back, but Sonny tells her that they have no more questions. They finally know why he died. Carly thought it would lessen the grief, and says she needs to go. She has to figure out what to tell Josslyn. Sonny says at least Avery is too young. Carly tells him to give her a hug and take care of himself.

Kiki says Ava had nothing to do with the bomb. Dante says he’s sure she must have noticed Morgan’s behavior, and it was because he wasn’t getting his lithium. He explains about Ava replacing the pills. Kiki doesn’t want to believe it, but Dante says she admitted it to Carly and Sonny. Kiki says omg, and starts crying. Dillon comforts her. I hope she doesn’t get stupid again, and let this come between them.

Nina says that Valentin never told her about the Chimera, but there was something about his past that he regretted. Lulu says not enough to warn somebody. He left it out there like a ticking bomb for it to be used against their children. Nina asks her not to tell Charlotte. Lulu says she didn’t want it to go down like this. Nina gathers up the bottom of her fabulous dress, and says she’ll talk to them later.

Anna enters Valentin’s room. He asks about Charlotte, and Anna says she’s fine and at Lulu’s. He asks about Nina, but she doesn’t know. She says the bullet passed his vital organs, and he’s lucky. He says he doesn’t feel lucky, and asks about the Chimera. Anna tells him that she personally supervised its destruction. She says the WSB has Alex in custody. She’s going to tell them that he stole it, and he’ll be charged with treason, among other crimes, and will probably be put away for rest of his life. She takes his hand and he makes the Saddest. Face. Ever.

Tomorrow, Diane tells Alexis she’s a lawyer again, Michael wants to take care of Nelle, And Julian gets the news about Ava.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Idiot, and/or liar, Luann tells Dorinda that she trusts Tom 100%. She says Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends to get dirt on him. Ramona appears, and Dorinda tries to tell her what they were talking about, but Luann talks over her about happiness with Tom and blah-blah-blah. Ramona says if she was getting married in two weeks, she’d want to know if he hasn’t changed. Luann says she still texts with Jacques, and she’s not changing a guy of that age. Ramona says he’s still kissing other women, but Luann insists he’s with her 24/7. Ramona asks why she’s lying.

Magically, Bethenny and Carole have joined them. Bethenny says they just want to make sure it’s all good. Ramona wants Luann to admit that Tom’s philandering hasn’t stopped. Luann says he has female friends, but Ramona says he takes them out to dinner, and pushes himself on them. Bethenny says cracks become craters, and brings up how he was making out with someone before the engagement party. Luann says it was a year ago, but it’s only been six months. Ramona says they just want to make sure she doesn’t find something out later that will devastate her. She says she was the last to know, and it was terrible. She adds that it is what it is.

Bethenny says Carole was concerned that Luann was having second thoughts. We flash back to Carole’s conversation with Barbara. In her interview, Carole says she thinks Luann knows what she’s doing and what she’s getting. Luann tells the women that they’re confident in who they are and what they’re doing. She says they’re happy, and talks about their lifestyle. Bethenny quietly tells Tinsley that she thinks Luann is looking at Palm Beach and parties rather than marriage. Luann says there’s no question in her mind, and there shouldn’t be in anyone else’s. Dorinda says it’s time to put it to bed now. Somehow, all of the women have ended up in the conversation circle at this point.

Sonja tells Luann that there’s always someone who’s jealous and wants to ruin it for you. In her interview, Sonja says she’s already on thin ice with Luann and Tom, so she’s not saying anything. Carole says they’ve said all they can say. Bethenny tells a few of the women that it’s the trick guy syndrome – he wasn’t hot or popular in high school, then gets money and goes crazy; they’re like sleeper cells.

Bethenny has doubts that Luann doesn’t have doubts. She says they could say he murdered someone, and she’d be okay with it. Carole asks Tinsley if she listened to anyone, and she says no. In her interview, she says it took a great fall for her to realize. Sonja feels badly, but says they need to stay out of it. Carole wonders why all these women want him, and Bethenny says his d*ck shoots diamonds. Must be, because I can’t figure it out either.

Ramona insists to Sonja that Bethenny is engaging with her, but Sonja thinks Bethenny is ignoring her. Ramona tells Sonja that she and Bethenny have always had a shallow great relationship, and she understands what topics are off-limits now. She made a mistake, but it wasn’t out of maliciousness, and she wants to address it at some point. Sonja approves.

Dorinda has little stockings with candy canes in them at each place setting. Bethenny asks Tinsley how she’s liking this crew. Tinsley says that she and Sonja have had differences lately, but Bethenny says that will happen when you live together. Tinsley tells her that Sonja has a tendency to talk down to her.

The ladies decide to start up one of the fireplaces. Carole claims to know what she’s doing. In her interview, she says her fire was on point, but she thinks she burned some doorstoppers. Luann joins them. Bethenny congratulates her, and she sends a congrats back for the divorce. Bethenny says it’s almost over, and apologizes for the altercation she and Luann had same place last year. Dorinda comes in, and tells them the fireplace doesn’t work. Yep. The room is full of smoke. So much for Carole’s Girl Scouting abilities, although she claims no responsibility for a broken flue. Well, she might have asked if it was okay first. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s like taking care of toddlers.

Tinsley talks about wanting a relationship with someone older than thirty. Luann says you have to go with your gut. Bethenny says that’s what got her in the toilet bowl, but Luann says she does have her daughter. Bethenny says she never would have imagined what was going to happen. She’s in a negative torturous situation, and holding on by a thread. Dorinda thinks Bethenny is emotionally heightened because of what’s going on in her own life. Luann says you just move on to the next phase; there’s a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield. Bethenny says she’s still in the same phase, and feels like she’ll never be done. She says she’s in hell, and it will never end.

While she’s talking, Ramona and Sonja literally skip in holding hands. I can’t even. Dorinda says she loves John, but she’s finding it hard to jump to the next level of commitment. Bethenny goes into the other room and cries. In her interview, she says she feels hopeless sometimes, like her ex is untouchable and she’ll never get out of this. Luann finds Bethenny, and says she didn’t mean to upset her; she didn’t realize it wasn’t over. Bethenny says she didn’t know, and not her fault. She starts to cry again, and tells Luann she thinks she’s making a big mistake and that Tom is cheating on her.

Dorinda asks why Bethenny is crying, and Carole explains how things have gotten worse with suckerfish Jason Hoppy. Bethenny tells Luann that if she has any doubts, she doesn’t have to go through with it. Luann says she’s good. Bethenny says she’s not a big sharer, but she’s not okay. She and Luann hug. Bethenny says if someone’s life is to torture you, you’re not okay. Carole tells the other women about Bethenny’s creepy cling-on cross-to-bear, and says he tells Bethenny that she’s a bad mother, calling her by her own mother’s name, who was a bad mother. I’m hoping any visits with the kid are supervised. Bethenny tells Luann that she doesn’t think Tom is a good guy, but Luann says she does. Bethenny wishes someone had pulled her out at the last minute, and she didn’t mean to intrude. Luann says she feels like they’re always being watched, and it’s been nerve-wracking. Bethenny asks if Tom was caught making out with someone tomorrow, if Luann would react the same way, but Luann says it won’t happen again.

Dorinda is talking about how her late husband introduced her to John. Luann returns, and Ramona asks how Bethenny is. Carole goes upstairs to check on her. Ramona and Sonja talk about how they’re always laughing and having fun. That’s because there isn’t a full brain between them, and ignorance is bliss.

Bethenny tells Carole that Luann is sitting up Deepak Chopra’s a-hole with her zen attitude, and she’s living in a fortune cookie. She’s concerned that Ramona is going to make it about her.

Dorinda is serving canned cranberry sauce. Not even the one with berries in it; the solid kind. Really? Everyone gathers in the kitchen to watch her put the meal together. Everybody except me – and maybe Bethenny – is thrilled with the cranberry sauce. For once, Carole is first at the table. Bethenny is hoping Ramona steers clear of her. Ramona spills sauce on one of the upholstered chairs, but Dorinda says not to worry about it, and she’ll deal with it tomorrow. In her interview, Dorinda says there’s something strange about Ramona, and it seems to be intensifying.

A toast to Dorinda! The chicken is served, which compels Carole to bring up how terribly their raised, and that she can show them a video. Dorinda says that on birthdays you should give a gift, and one of them is winning a handmade chocolate Santa. Ramona wins, and says Avery will love it. Carole thinks Ramona is drunk. In her interview, Bethenny says Ramona’s daughter is twenty-two. Is she sending her a chocolate Santa to go with her beer? Ramona toasts to Luann, wishing her a happy life that’s everything she wants it to be.

It’s cake time. Bethenny talks to Luann about Ramona laying it on. Ramona is the only one who doesn’t take her dishes to the kitchen, leaving a mess at her dining table spot. In her interview, Dorinda doesn’t understand where Ramona gets her sense of entitlement. The ladies sing Happy Birthday, and Dorinda blows out the candles.

Suddenly, Ramona is talking in Bethenny’s ear. In her interview, Bethenny says she was like a bat crawling onto her shoulder. Ramona says knows what she did hit Bethenny wrong. She doesn’t want to say she’s sorry, and risk being called The Apologizer, but she’s sorry. Bethenny tells us that Ramona gets the creepiest apology of the year award, adding, is that an apology or are you happy to see me?

At the table, Bethenny talks about all the awkward situations that have happened between them. Ramona says stupid things, and Carole calls her schmaltzy. Ramona tells them how much she loves them – except Tinsley, who’s new and she doesn’t love her that much yet. She proposes a toast to friendship, and Dorinda and Luann say they’re toasted out.

Ramona thinks she and Bethenny made up, but Dorinda says no, she doesn’t think so, and I laugh. Ramona says that Bethenny is making it difficult. Ramona tells Sonja that Bethenny makes her nervous. The girls goof around in the kitchen, saying that Tinsley’s voice makes everything she says sound like a proposition.

Ramona follows Bethenny to the living room. In her interview, she wonders how to fix things if Bethenny won’t let her. Bethenny says she doesn’t want Ramona walking on eggshells. Ramona apologizes again, and says there’s nothing malicious in her. Bethenny asks what she’s done, and Ramona says she doesn’t want to go in the past, but move forward. Bethenny tells Ramona that she hasn’t been a good friend. Ramona says, are you kidding me, like a dozen times.

Next time, Ramona gives Bethenny a list of her faults, Tinsley is uncomfortable at Sonja’s place, and Jill Zarin makes an appearance.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now presented a look back at scandals and how they’ve impacted us. Lorena Bobbitt, Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton, Rob Lowe, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee, more sex tapes, Jim Baker and other Evangelical scandals, Amy Fisher, Mary Kay Letourneau and how she and her one-time student squeeze are still together, Hulk Hogan, Tiger Woods, et al. One of the highlights was a lengthy interview with Mary Jo Buttafuoco, who, for the first time, displayed the Members Only jacket that she was wearing when Amy Fisher shot her, albeit torn and pretty bloody. It’s dried since then. I like Mary Jo. She’s a cool person and quite the pragmatist. She also informed us that to this day, ex-husband Joey has never admitted to having an affair with Amy. Next time, 1981 – the Royal Wedding, MTV, and shoulder pads, here we come!

🍰 Master Chef (the one with big people) started its new season tonight, and looks promising. The f Word also premiered, and even though I haven’t seen it yet, thanks to Bravo screwing me over, from the previews, it looks awesome. I’d previously watched the BBC series, and loved it. FOX is rerunning it on Friday at 9 pm. I’ll be there.