What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis asks how much Harmony has had to drink, and Harmony says, not nearly enough. Come on. Live a little. One drink’s not going to kill you. Alexis flashes back to seeing Brendon floating in the water, and the bartender puts a whiskey in front of her. Harmony says, she knows what it’s like when you want to forget your troubles. Alexis looks at the glass, then at Harmony.

Josslyn tells Cameron, they don’t know what Spencer’s actually up to? What does that mean? Cameron says he’s worried about Spencer, and Josslyn asks if he hears himself. Spencer has to know deep down in his heart that Esme is guilty of recording and posting that video. He’s convinced himself to blame Trina. Why? Because Spencer is too weak and shallow to stand up against his girlfriend, and now Cameron is defending him? Trina says, Joss, stop, it’s okay, but Josslyn says, it’s not okay. Spencer walks in, and Josslyn says, if Cameron doesn’t call Spencer out, it’s as good as siding with him. Cameron says she would too if she knew what he knows, and she says, what is that? Spencer says, Cameron, stop. That’s enough.

Esme walks into the living room as Nikolas is downing a drink, and asks if Ava is working late at the gallery again. He says, Ava doesn’t share her schedule with him, and she says she can cut a cigar and light it for him; one of the many skills she learned overseas. He says, no, and pours another drink. She says she knows he and Ava disagree about her staying here, but it will all be resolved once they renew their wedding vows. He says, Ava called off the ceremony; they won’t be renewing their vows.

Ava joins Nina at Beradino’s and says, Nina started without her. Is she really that late? Nina says she’s early, and thanks Ava for meeting her at such short notice. She promises not to take up too much of Ava’s time. Is the launch from Spoon Island waiting for her? Ava says, Spoon Island can wait. So what’s this big news Nina texted her about? Nina says she didn’t want Ava to hear it from someone else, in case it blows back and affects Avery. Ava says, what about Avery? and Nina says, Scotty filed the paperwork. She’s going to petition the court to get visitation with Wiley. Michael and Willow be damned; Carly too. Carly most of all. Ava assumes Sonny knows about this. What does he think of it? Sonny walks in on the phone saying, how long ago?… Where are they now?… Okay, then he knows what to do. Let him know when it’s sent. Laura walks up to him and asks if everything is okay, and he says, everything’s good. And if it’s not, it will be. He smiles at Nina.

Alexis pushes the drink away, and asks the bartender to please close out her friend’s tab and put it on her account. Harmony says, no. Alexis has been way too kind to her; better than she deserves. Alexis says, if they both got what they deserved, they’d both be back in Pentenville. Harmony vehemently tells her, don’t say that. She doesn’t even want to think about that place. Alexis asks, what’s wrong with her? Whatever is going on, it can’t be that terrible. Harmony flashes back to Brendon threatening her, and her pushing him off he cliff.

Harmony gets off the barstool, and says she needs a cab. Alexis says she’ll drive Harmony home, but Harmony says she can’t. Carly comes over and asks if everything’s okay, and Alexis says, Harmony’s been overserved. Carly says she’ll speak to the bartender. In the meantime, she’ll get Harmony a room so she can sleep it off. Harmony thanks her, but says, no. She doesn’t accept charity. Carly says, then she’ll call Willow and see if she can help, but Harmony says, no. Please don’t call her daughter. Sam asks Alexis, what’s going on? and Alexis says she has no idea. It’s been a day from hell. Sam asks, what happened?

Cameron says, Spencer is right. Enough is enough. If Spencer won’t tell them, he will. Josslyn says, tell them what? and Trina says she can’t do this. She’s out of here. Josslyn says she’s with Trina, but Cameron says, they have to hear this. Trina says, what? That Spencer thinks she’s guilty and Cameron has his back? Cameron says, no… He does, but there’s limits. He can explain. Spencer says he can speak for himself. Cameron is right. There’s something they should know, and he can’t keep it from them anymore.

Esme says, Ava called off the wedding vow renewal? She’s so sorry. Nikolas says, to be fair, she only postponed it… indefinitely. Esme says, it’s me, isn’t it? Ava doesn’t want her here. She’s going to go. Nikolas says, even if Esme goes, things changed, and he’s not sure how they recapture the spirit that led them to want to renew the vows in the first place. Esme says, they’ll find that magic again. When two people love each other the way he and Ava do… He says, that’s not the problem; it never was. It’s a matter of trust. She says she knows what he means, and he asks if she and Spencer are still having trust issues. She says, at least Spence doesn’t believe the awful things Ava and Sonny do about her, and he says, that she’s responsible for that video with Cameron and Josslyn. She says, they refuse to believe Trina’s responsible, even though all the evidence points to her; that she had motive and was in the cabin when Esme was long gone. It’s easier to blame her. Nikolas says, it’s not only Ava and Sonny who believe it, and she asks if he’s changed his mind about her. He says, Commissioner Ashford was here and asking questions about her.

Laura and Sonny sit down, and Ava asks what side Sonny is going to be on when Nina petitions for the right to see her grandson. Nina flashes back to Sonny saying, if he doesn’t take a side, it’s going to seem like he’s taking her side, and her telling him that if he has to take Michael’s side, she’ll understand. She says she told Sonny that she didn’t expect him to take her side, and Ava says, that’s noble, but with Scotty as her lawyer… Nina says, he’s not going to put Sonny on the stand, because if he does, she’ll fire him. Ava says, Nina feels very strongly about protecting Sonny. The waiter gives Laura and Sonny menus, and Nina asks Ava, what’s a girl to do? He keeps coming to her rescue. Ava says, sounds like a real hero, and Nina says, he is.

Sonny asks what Laura is going to have, and she says, information… from him. Tell her about the robbery at Charlie’s. He says, just a couple of thugs. Brando did all the heavy lifting. He was just making sure Nina didn’t get hurt. She says, all in a day’s work, and he says, nobody’s going to be messing with anybody anymore, especially those guys. She says she wishes she could say the same about whoever killed Luke. The WSB arrested Jennifer Smith. He says, she didn’t seem too threatening when she showed up after Luke’s memorial, and Laura says, she remembers he couldn’t get Jennifer on a plane fast enough. He says, she was always hung up on Luke, but being hung up on Luke and killing him is a big jump. Laura says, there’s more. She was caught red-handed with the Ice Princess. He says, case closed; that’s it. She looks at him, and he says, or not.

Harmony begs Carly not to call her daughter, and Carly tells her to calm down. Harmony says she’s calm; she just can’t find her keys. Sam asks Alexis if something happened, and Alexis says they’ll talk later. She has to take Harmony home. Carly tells Alexis not to worry about Harmony’s car; she’ll have it brought to Alexis’s house. Carly puts Harmony’s keys behind the bar for safe keeping, and Harmony says, her bag, grabbing Brendon’s bag. She tells Carly that she guesses she’s not getting the job, and Alexis says, let’s go. She leads Harmony out, and Carly asks if Sam is okay with that. Sam says, hell no, she’s not.

Alexis opens the door, and Harmony goes in, flashing back to injecting Neil. Alexis says she’ll take Harmony’s bag, but Harmony says she’s got it. Alexis says she’ll make some coffee, and tells Harmony to lie down. Harmony says, please don’t make her leave, and Alexis asks, what’s going on? Is Harmony sick? Harmony says she’s terrified, and Alexis says, of what? Harmony says, not what, who, and Alexis asks who she’s terrified of. Harmony says, herself.

Trina tells Spencer, okay, Mr. Two-Faced, what does he think she should know? and Cameron says, go on, tell her. Josslyn says, tell her what? when Rory walks in. Trina asks if Rory is following her. He keeps showing up to Kelly’s every time she’s there. He says he’s just getting decent coffee for him and the squad; it’s been a long day. He asks if she’s okay, and Josslyn says, they’re all friends here… Well, some of them are friends. Rory looks at Spencer, and says, good to know. He goes to the counter, and Trina tells Spencer, he was saying? Cameron tells him, don’t stop now, and Spencer says, it’s about Josslyn.   

Esme asks what Jordan wanted to know, and Nikolas says she wanted to talk to Esme and Spencer. The staff informed her that Esme wouldn’t be speaking to her without an attorney present. Esme says she doubts the staff came up with that on their own, and Nikolas says he told them what to say, and to send the Commissioner on her way, as politely as possible. She thanks him for protecting her… them. She’s sure the Commissioner would love to make her the scapegoat. He says, from what the staff told him, the Commissioner wasn’t accusing her of anything, and she says, not openly, but she’s sure the Commissioner would rather build a case against her than Trina. Spencer was just starting to believe in her again, and if the Commissioner turns him against her, and convinces Nikolas too… He says, that’s not going to happen, and she takes his hand, brings it to her cheek, and thanks him.  

Ava says, those punks wouldn’t have tried to rob Charlie’s when her brother owned it, and Nina asks if she’s implying they’re not afraid of Sonny. Ava tells her, she’s just saying, if they know Sonny’s time in Nixon Falls changed him, who’s to say word didn’t get out. Nina says, he’s Sonny Corinthos. Ava should have seen how he and Brando took those thieves down. Even with guns, those punks didn’t stand a chance. Ava says, and here she thought Nina fell in love with Mike the bartender, not Sonny the mobster. She guesses they’re not so different. Nina asks what she means, and Ava says, she couldn’t resist a bad boy.

Laura says, the WSB took Jennifer into custody, so as far as they’re concerned, the matter is closed. Sonny asks if she thinks there’s more, and she says, the Ice Princess doesn’t just connect to Luke’s death; it brings the Cassadines into it. He says, Victor, and she says, he’s made no secret that he has a plan in the works. Sonny says, anything he can do? and she says, his friend Brick, that guy has his finger in more pies than she can count. If he hears anything… He says, she’ll be the first to know, and she says, will she know? She was the last to know her grandson was moving back to Windymere with his girlfriend, and it was all because of Sonny.

Sam says, Harmony Miller was, and still is, trouble, and Carly says, Alexis doesn’t seem bothered by it. Sam says, her mother has made it clear that her friendship with Harmony is her business, and flashes back to Alexis telling her that Harmony was her only friend in prison, and how, on New Year’s Eve, Harmony stopped her from drinking. Things would have gone a lot differently if not for Harmony, and Alexis has Harmony to thank for that. Sam says she had no choice but to back off just, and Carly says, Harmony is Willow’s mom, so she’s inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, but getting so drunk at the bar she could barely stand can’t be good for Alexis. She’s going to stop because she has no right to give Sam advice. Sam says she’s not shutting Carly down, and Carly says, that’s because Sam’s being polite, which is totally unnecessary because Carly asked Sam to use her relationship with Dante to see if the PCPD had anything on Trina. Sam says, they’ve been over that, and Sam didn’t do anything she didn’t want to do. She made the decision to go into Dante’s emails and look up forensics information. Carly says she badgered Sam about Trina being innocent and Esme being guilty, which is true, but she put Sam on the spot, and hopes Dante forgave her. Sam says, they still have a lot of work to do on that front, and Carly says she’s sorry. But after Sam saw the forensic email, was there anything that could help Trina?

Cameron says, they’re not talking about Josslyn here, and Spencer says, he is. He wanted to believe Trina’s story, but honestly, he was just trying to please Josslyn because he knows she and Trina are good friends. Josslyn says, they’re best friends. Not that Spencer would have any idea what that means. Friendship is just a word to him. Actually, it’s a commodity; something he buys, like he buys everything else. It’s no surprise he can’t wrap his head around the fact that she believes Trina because she actually knows her. Spencer says, that’s Josslyn. Always ready to fight, do what it takes to win. Cameron asks where Spencer is going with this, and Spencer says, why try to throw all the blame on Esme? When they left the cabin, the three of them were all alone. Did they get Trina to film them getting it on? What if this is just Josslyn’s way of framing Esme? Josslyn says, oh my God, and Trina asks if he’s crazy. Cameron says, son of a bitch, and punches Spencer, knocking him to the floor.  

Nina says she’s kissed a lot of handsome frogs, but never found her prince, and Ava says, she has an actual prince, but she’s starting to prefer the croakers on Spoon Island. Nina says, uh-oh, what did Nikolas do now? and Ava says, plenty. She’s furious, but to be fair, she’s not completely blameless in this situation, and neither is Nina’s heartthrob over there. Nina asks what Sonny did, and Ava says she’s surprised he didn’t tell Nina. After Trina was wrongfully arrested for being responsible for this revenge porn video, she urged Sonny to have a private chat with Esme. Nina says, he’d never hurt a teenager, and Ava says, no, but he’s certainly an expert in the art of intimidation. He can terrify someone without raising his voice, and she was hoping he could get Esme to confess, but he didn’t get a chance. Nikolas figured out what was going on, and came to Esme’s rescue, and Esme loved that. She played the poor innocent waif in need of protection, and the next thing you know, Nikolas invited Esme and Spencer to stay with them without even asking her first. Nina’s phone rings, and she asks Ava to hold that thought. She says, hey Phyllis. Has she recovered from last night?… What?… Oh no…   

Sonny says he and Spencer’s girlfriend had a little chat, and Laura asks, how little? He says, she has to understand something. After what Esme did with that tape of Cameron and Joss, that cannot go unchallenged. She says she’s not saying it shouldn’t, but this is where they part ways because she does trust the justice system. He says, even after Trina was arrested and might go to prison, while Esme is being protected by Nikolas on Spoon Island? She says, first of all, who said Trina was going to prison? She’s going to get a trial to prove her innocence. He says, and Esme can make that difficult for her, and she says, if anything happens to Esme now, he’ll be suspect number one, and she’ll have Robert prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law. He promises, even if Esme is found guilty, he won’t touch a hair on her head, and Nina approaches the table. She says, sorry to interrupt, but she just heard from Phyllis. Those men who robbed Charlie’s are back on the street.

Sam tells Carly, Dante arrived before she could see the details, but the email said there’s more evidence tying Trina to the crime. Carly says, this is bad. Diane said, the ADA prosecuting the case is tough, and has a strong conviction record. Even though she knows Esme framed Trina, and planted every shred of evidence, the ADA doesn’t know that, and she’s going to use that evidence to send the wrong person to jail. Sam says, sometimes the law doesn’t have much to do with justice, and Carly says, look no further than Nina’s right to petition the court for visitation with Wiley. Sam says, just because she can petition, doesn’t mean she can win, but Carly says she doesn’t know about that. Nina has a great way of convincing people she’s a misunderstood saint. Did she tell Sam that Sonny cut back on his drinking, which is great for his health and relationship with Donna and Avery, but guess who convinced him? Sam laughs, and Carly says, what? Sam says she’s just listening to Carly vent. Does she feel better? Carly says she told Sam she was making clean a break, and Sam says, nice try. They both know, It’s never clean.

Sitting with Brendon’s bag clutched to her chest, Harmony tells Alexis, every choice she makes is the wrong one. She went to Something-or-Other Point. It’s a good place to think. It’s quiet, away from everyone; it looks peaceful, but looks can be deceiving. It didn’t help. It made things worse, so she went for a drink. Alexis says she hasn’t seen Harmony like this seen before. What happened? Harmony cries, and says, the one thing she had to cling to was Willow, and Alexis asks if she told Willow that she’s not her biological child. Is that what this is? Harmony says, no, not yet, but she will… because she’s bound to find out. Alexis says she won’t find out from her; she’ll find out from Harmony. Did Harmony decide to tell her? Harmony says, no, not yet, and Alexis says she has no idea what’s going on, but it can’t be as bad as what she just saw. Harmony asks, what happened to Alexis tonight? Alexis asks if Harmony remembers the guy in her office, Brendon Byrne, Neil’s brother? Harmony says, what about him? and Alexis says, he’s dead. She found him face down in the harbor. Harmony asks where it was, and Alexis says, she was at the pier, waiting for the launch, and she saw the body floating in the water. She called the police, and they fished him out. Harmony asks if Alexis is sure it’s the man she met in her office, and Alexis says she’s sure. The guy even tried to wrest money from her guilty conscience. Harmony says, Alexis has nothing to be guilty for, and Alexis says, she knows that. Jordan didn’t know that. She was filled with questions, looking for a motive. Harmony stands up and says, Alexis didn’t kill him. If the police think that, she’ll… Alexis says, she’ll what? and Harmony says she’s sorry. Alexis had a terrible night, and it’s all her fault. Alexis says, Brendon’s death isn’t Harmony’s fault. She didn’t murder him. By the way, they think it’s suicide.

Carly says she’s grateful for Sam’s friendship, and Sam says she’s grateful for Carly’s friendship too. She asks if Carly is ready for a return trip to the hatchet throwing gallery. She could use it to let some frustrations out. Carly says, like Harmony? and Sam says, and Esme. Carly says, it’s a deal, and Sam asks if they can drop Harmony’s car off at her mom’s on the way. Carly says, that way, Sam can check on her mom, but Sam says, her mom insists she doesn’t need her help, and they leave.

Laura tells Sonny, Jordan confirmed it. The gunmen made bail. She asks if she and Sonny are done here, and Sonny says, yeah. He’ll take care of  the bill. It was great talking with her. She says, thanks. She’ll catch up with Ava. She leaves, and Nina sits down. She says, Sonny knew about this, didn’t he? and he says, he has his sources. Their lawyer showed up at the arraignment, and notified the judge bail had been paid. She asks, by whom? and he says, someone with deep pockets. She says, a friend of his? and he says, he told her there are punks who will try take advantage of him now that Jason’s gone. She says, in other words, don’t ask too many questions, and he says, it’s better off in the long run. She says, she doesn’t know what it was like with him and Carly, but he doesn’t need to protect her. She knows him, and also knows Mike. It doesn’t have to be either or, because they’re both him.

Ava asks what the what chances are those two can actually pull it off, and Laura says she thinks if Ava and Nikolas can make a go of it, anything is possible. Ava says she didn’t pick a very good example, and Laura says she knows there’s tension at home. Ava says, it’s not a home; it’s a boarding house. Everyone has their own room. Nikolas has his, she has hers, Spencer has his, and that French devil has hers. Laura says, at least she’s not pregnant. That’s something they have to be grateful for. Ava nods, and Laura says, and when they renew their vows… Ava says, that’s not going to happen.

Esme says, Nikolas’s son is still a child in many ways. His emotions swing back and forth like a pendulum. Nikolas is so much more mature and experienced than Spence (let’s hope so, since he’s Spence’s father), if Commissioner Ashford had him thinking the worst of her, she couldn’t bear it. He says, she’s right. In many ways, his son is still very naïve, but he’s not. He knows what she’s capable of, and hasn’t forgotten she helped Spencer terrorize Ava. She says she can explain, but he says he doesn’t need an explanation. She’s not the only one driven by demons, that force them to do desperate things. She says, they’re alike in that way, and he says, his mother’s not sure he’ll ever outgrow that part of himself, but she still has time to get it right. He knows the difference between a lonely heart and a wicked one. She says, which one is she?

Josslyn asks Cameron, what’s wrong with him? and Cameron says, Spencer doesn’t get to talk to her that way. Trina helps Spencer up, and asks if he’s okay. He says, some things are worth it, and Rory comes over. He says, he saw the whole thing, and Cameron says, then he heard what Spencer said. Rory says, Cameron is under arrest, and cuffs him. Cameron glares at Spencer. I’m not sure if it works like that, but okay.

Harmony says, they think that Brendon guy committed suicide? and Alexis says, they’re still investigating, but they think it’s likely. He wasn’t murdered for his money; he was desperate and in debt. Who’d want him dead? Harmony says, she’s going to get out of here. She needs to do something. Alexis says, she’s not going anywhere, when there’s a knock at the door. Harmony says, what if it’s the police? but Alexis says, it’s not the police. She already talked to Jordan. She answers the door to Sam, who comes in with Carly. Sam says, Carly is just dropping off Harmony’s car keys, and Carly puts them on the desk, telling Harmony, don’t go anywhere. Alexis says she’ll keep an eye on Harmony, and Harmony thanks them all, then almost keels over, Carly catching her.

Trina says, Rory can’t arrest Cam, and Josslyn says, he was provoked. Spencer was pretty much asking to get punched. Trina says, he was just standing up for them, and Cameron says, he’d do it again in a heartbeat. Josslyn tells him, stop talking, and Rory goes over to Spencer. Rory says, he’s Spencer Cassadine. He just did 30 days in Spring Ridge. Spencer tells Rory to take Cameron’s cuffs off, and they’ll work this out outside. Rory says he can’t do that, and Spencer says, why doesn’t Rory cut him a break, and whacks Rory across the face. Spencer says he’s sorry; it was an accident. Rory says he’s arresting Spencer too, and cuffs him.

Nikolas tells Esme, Ava is devoted to Trina. She’s convinced Trina’s innocent. Esme says, if you ask Ava, she’s guilty of every crime after Cain killed Abel. She’s accepted there’s nothing she can do to change that, but what does he think? He says, Ava and Sonny are in no position to judge her or anyone else. She says, so he’s on her side, but he shouldn’t be. Ava will forgive him if he sends her on the launch back to Kelly’s. He says, but he won’t forgive himself if he puts her back in Sonny’s sights. She says, that means so much to her, but it comes at a price. He and Ava should be saying those beautiful words to each other, and this house should be full of life and love. Right now, it’s like four islands in a large ocean. If he and Ava can’t or won’t do something about it, she will.  

Laura tells Ava not to let her pride get in the way, and Ava says, Scotty told her that she was playing into Esme’s hands. And Spencer’s. Laura says, that’s very wise of him, and Ava says, her biggest problem isn’t with Esme or Spencer; it’s with Nikolas. Laura says, he is a very proud man, and Ava says, it’s not pride that brought Esme into their home. It was selfishness and arrogance. Laura says, that blind selfishness is a Cassadine trait. She’s struggled with it for years, trying to protect Nikolas from his own DNA. Now with Uncle Victor back and making mischief, it’s gotten worse. She hopes to God it doesn’t go on much longer. Ava says, if they get rid of Victor, he can take Esme with him.

Sonny says, Nina is a contradiction herself. She fights tooth and nail to see Wiley, then she’s kind enough to keep Scotty from forcing him on the stand. That way he’s not forced to choose between her and Wiley. She thanks him for the compliment, but she knows he’s trying to change the subject. These two thugs were confident enough to hold them up at gunpoint. What makes him think they won’t come after them again? Sonny’s phone dings, and he says, he’s got to go, pats her hand, and leaves.  

On the phone, Josslyn says, let Diane know to call her when her meeting is finished. It’s about Cameron Webber. He really needs her help. Outside, Trina begs Rory to let Cameron off with a warning. Remember that guy who gave her the soft drink? Be that guy for her friend. Spencer says, what about him? and Trina says, as much as she despises Spencer right now, he didn’t mean to hit Rory; it was an accident. Rory says, the Commissioner was clear. If he looks away after a crime has been committed, it’s a breach of procedure, a failure of his duty as a cop. He witnessed an assault, and has to act on that. And Mr. Cassadine hit him, and hitting a police officer is very illegal. Let’s move.

Nikolas tells Esme, no more talk about leaving. Not as long as she’s on Sonny’s radar. She says, all right. Since he insists, she won’t run out on him… and Spencer of course (🍷).

Laura tells Ava, let her worry about Victor. It’s much more important that Ava not give up on Nikolas. Ava says, even if he doesn’t trust her with decisions that concern them both? and Laura says, she’s strong enough stand up anything that threatens her marriage. Go home and tell Nikolas that he needs to trust her. Then insist he show her that she can trust him. At the other table, Nina looks at her phone, and then the door.

Sonny meets Frank at an undisclosed location. Frank opens the trunk of a car, revealing a guy tied up with his mouth duct taped shut. Sonny looks in and says, how you doing? Don’t worry. You’ll be joining your friend real soon. Sonny laughs, and Frank shuts the trunk.

Carly asks if Harmony is okay, and Harmony says, sorry. She just only has an occasional glass of wine, and that whiskey went straight to her head. Sam says she’ll make some coffee, and Alexis says she’ll get cream and sugar. Carly suggests they get water too, on the way to the kitchen, Alexis says, thank you. Sam says, for what, and Alexis says, for not saying I told you so. Sam says what she thinks about Harmony doesn’t matter. She’s Alexis’s friend, and she stands by her friends.  Carly asks if Harmony wants to get some air, and Harmony says, so Carly can tell her in private what a miserable drunk she is? but Carly says, no, because she thinks it will make Harmony feel better. Wiley’s family has to stick together. Harmony asks why Carly is being so nice to her, and Carly says, because Willow’s her family. Harmony sits, and says, she wishes Willow was hers.

Sonny comes back to Beradino’s, and tells Nina, sorry he took so long. She asks if he’s okay, and he says, just a few loose ends that needed to be tied up. She says, as long as he’s all right. She should be going home. She and Scotty have a strategy meeting in the morning. He says he’ll walk her out, and she says she doesn’t want to sound like a broken record, but how does he know the two guys who hit Charlie’s won’t be hitting them again? He says, trust him. They got the message.

Tomorrow, TJ asks Curtis what Marshall is lying about; Spencer tells Cameron to stick to the plan; Drew says, not everybody who goes in gets to come back; and Sonny thinks someone is making a big mistake.

The Real Housewives of Orange County – Reunion Part 1

Andy mentions that it’s Season 16, and I think, oh my God. I’ve been watching this trash for this long? He says, proving the show that started it all is still worth the squeeze, which is debatable. He says, it’s amazing having Heather back. It’s been five seasons since they sat together, and she says, it’s the ten year anniversary of when she first started. He tells her that she looks the same. Of course she does. She’s married to a plastic surgeon. He tells Gina that she looks fantastic, and gives props to her hair. He congratulates Emily on her 13^th wedding anniversary, and asks how the future looks. Emily thinks it’s going to be great, and she and Shane are in a great place. Somebody get that lawyer a thesaurus. Andy asks if Shannon’s dealer, Heather, has given her a microdose, but Shannon says, no. He says everyone was surprised that Jen put her put house on the market, and Jen says she’s trying to move to Laguna Beach, where she grew up. Andy asks if Ryne is moving with her, but she says, time will tell, making it clear she’s not joking. My only question. Who gets Mr. Puppers? And if it’s Ryne (which it really should be), can he still be on the show? Andy asks how Noella is feeling about her first reunion, and Noella says, overwhelmed and underprepared. He says he hopes she brought a stack of receipts and not a stack of vaginas. He tells us, they’re surrounded by icons of Orange County, including the original gates from the opening.

Andy says, after a long hiatus from the show, where she was perhaps lost in her house, Heather is making a triumphant return. We see a bunch of clips of everything Heather, and Andy reads that Kelly from Florida thought she was an ice queen, but seeing Heather with her kids warmed her heart. She asks how Heather felt about two of her kids coming out, and Heather thought it was all amazing. Andy says he thought it was a valuable lesson for parents. When he came out, it was a different time, and his mom grieved the loss of the life she’d wanted for him, thinking he would never have kids. He asks if Heather had to recalibrate her expectations, but Heather says, no. Some straight people can’t have kids. Andy says, Heather and Terry seem to have worked out their issues, and she says they worked on it. She adds, a lot of their bad times had been captured on the show, and we flash back to that, including Terry saying he’d used the D-word. She says, they’ve navigated through the years to avoid the reality show curse. Andy then goes to the flip side of the coin, saying, everything Noella knew about her marriage turned south, and we flash back to that. He asks how Noella and James met, and she says, online at a naughty (her word) site called Seeking Arrangements. Andy says he thought that was typically for sugar daddies, and Noella says, attractive girls and wealthy men are the standard. He asks how long they were together, and she says, five years; one where they were legally married. They’d had a ceremony when he was still married for the kids, but it wasn’t legal. Emily says, if Noella is being 100% honest, her ex maintains she was filing for separation. He filed for divorce in Puerto Rico because it was a race for jurisdiction. Noella insists that’s a lie, and Andy says he claims part of the problem was her being on the show. She says he wanted her to be on the show, and if he’d told her that he was no longer comfortable with it, she would have chosen her family. No one believes it.

Emily says she thinks when the tax speculation stuff came out, it was embarrassing for James, and he didn’t want anything to do with the show. He pulled back, and she said, screw you, because she wanted to be famous. Then she was going to file for separation because she wanted be on the show. Shannon says, it’s hard when multiple people are telling you what you’re thinking and your intentions are. Emily reiterates that she said she was speculating, and it’s not crazy as an attorney to look at things from a legal standpoint. Noella insists she was very committed to her man and her marriage, and Andy asks when she saw James last. She says two days after she did Watch What Happens Live. His attorneys said he was going to be in Orange County and he wanted to see his son. Emily says, his attorneys released a statement that they’d moved to Puerto Rico, and became citizens there. Shannon asks why that’s so outrageous, but Emily says, it’s not outrageous. They established residence in Puerto Rico; there was an Instagram post about it. That’s why he filed there, so he could get jurisdiction issued. Noella is adamant that their residence is in California, and bored with this, Andy asks what their official status is. Noella says, they’re divorced, and now California will decide custody, but yay, she can get married. Andy says he heard she was dating someone, and heard he bought Noella a company. We see a picture of a handsome, heavily tattooed guy in his 30s that looks like a better match for her than anyone calling themselves Sweet Baby James, and she laughs. She says, it’s called Toy Marketplace. It’s some kind of sex toy business, and she’s excited about it. It was a Christmas present. Her new guy considers anything outside of them as a couple cheating, so her stack of vaginas is retired. We flash back to that, and Emily asks if it was just a photo or did James have sex with them? Noella says, they were for her to have sex with, and Heather looks disgusted, but it sounds like Noella never followed through. Andy asks if anyone has met the new boyfriend, and Noella says he’s picking her up tonight, so they’ll see him then.

Andy says, Shannon’s attempt to start fresh with Heather was spoiled by rumors, and like untouched sushi, their friendship went rank. We flashed back to the whole Nicole thing, and Heather going all mobster on Shannon. Andy asks the question that’s been on all our minds – where did all the sushi go? Heather says, some people stayed and took it home. Viewer Val from Colorado says, Shannon seemed hopeful of a future friendship with Heather, so why did she mention Nicole? Shannon insists she didn’t know it was the same girl. We see a side-by-side of Nicole today and years ago, and she does look radically different. She says, Gina brought it up at the party, and asked if Shannon was going to tell Heather. Gina tells her, what she said was that she thought Shannon should do the right thing. Shannon says she wasn’t going to bring it up on camera. She’s not trying to stir stuff up. Emily tries to add something, and Shannon yells that she’s not going to start yelling, and then demands some water. Emily says, Shannon knows how it works. You can’t tell two people something at the beginning of the season, and think it’s not going to end up on the show. Shannon pulled the pin out the grenade, and handed it to Gina.

Shannon says she had no idea it would be taken to Heather, and was upset because Emily and Gina were to blame. Heather says, that’s where the BS comes in. Shannon had ample time to talk to her, she could have told Shannon it was dropped, and no big deal. But Shannon was unaware that it was no big deal, and didn’t know if discussing it on camera could have blown up Terry’s career. They’re not making trucker hats. This is their bread and butter, and a lawsuit is potentially damaging. Is Shannon out of her mind? Shannon says she told Emily and Gina because it didn’t make sense. Andy asks why Heather didn’t feel betrayed by Emily and Gina, and Heather says, she was angry with them, but they immediately reached out, and asked to talk to her. She didn’t hear from Shannon for over a week. Shannon says she apologized a million times, and Heather left her standing in the hallway. Heather says she was super pissed. When David had an affair, Heather knew about it, the world knew, but Heather protected Shannon’s family. At the Reunion, Shannon said everything was fine. We flash back to Shannon saying their marriage is better than ever, and David saying that he loves Shannon, the kids, and their family. Shannon says, how dare she? and Heather says, Shannon knew at the Reunion. Shannon babbles about relationship bootcamp, and Heather says, Shannon pretended it was all fine, and she could have blown up Shannon’s family, but she’d never do that. Shannon says, it’s 100% her fault that she had too much to drink, and told Gina and Emily. It’s 100% her fault Heather’s dinner party was ruined. Gina says she accepted her responsibility. Andy tells Heather a viewer wonders why she threatened Shannon like a mob boss, and Heather says she was very upset. She felt betrayed, and when it comes to her family, she gets insane. She’s sorry she came off that way. Shannon says, Heather threatened her family. She thought Heather was going to sue her. The one thing that can get her teary-eyed is her kids. She’s worked her ass off for five years to get where she is, and she’s a single mom. Heather says, just for the record, she’d never sue Shannon, whatever words she used. She felt betrayed, and apologizes for making Shannon feel that way. She would never do that. Andy says, they’ll leave it there, and they take a break.

We flash back to Emily’s season; Shane passing the Bar, Annabelle getting baptized, Emily drinking too much. Andy asks why it was important for Emily to be the truth teller, and Emily says she deal with malicious intent. Shannon says, Emily should make sure what she says isn’t misconstrued, exaggerated, or a telephone game. A viewer asks if Emily feels Mormon teachings are being more influential on her kids than she is, but Emily says, her kids have the best of both worlds. Their father is religious, and she balances it out with another perspective. Another viewer gives props to Emily using her degree for the greater good, and we flash back on her involvement with the Innocence Project. Andy asks what’s going on with that, and Emily says she has some fundraisers coming up, along with case reviews. She’s bringing awareness and raising money. Andy asks about her relationship with her dad, and Emily tears up, saying, it’s minimal. She doesn’t see him or talk to him much, but when she does, it makes her sad. He’s a cool guy with a guitar and ponytail, and sometimes she wishes he was a jerk, so she could be glad he’s not in her life. Andy asks if she’s open to get to know him better, but she says, it’s hard, since there’s no foundation from her childhood. Andy asks if she thinks he watches show, and she says she knows he does. It makes her sad about what he might hear, and she doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but she wants to be truthful about how she feels. Noella says, Emily was with her when she got the text about her father’s death, and they had a good conversation about fathers integrating with their grandchildren. Andy says maybe they were meant to come together now. The fact that he watches the show is touching. He’s getting a window into her life that he wouldn’t have normally. Emily says she’d love to have more of a relationship with him, and get to know him. She’s stubborn though, and stuck in you-weren’t-there mode. She has to make more of an effort. Andy asks if they’ve never talked about that time, and she says, nothing real. He says, maybe it’s time.

Andy says, this season, Gina was thriving, driving, and all glown up, and we go down Gina Memory Lane. They talk about Gina’s exorcism extraction, and Gina says, after getting back from Cabo, she saw something at the door. She couldn’t sleep after that, and knew something was off. She’d had a physical reaction during the ritual, and felt better. She doesn’t want to believe in it, but something definitely happened. A viewer says she was glad to see Gina and Matt co-parent and laugh, and Gina says, it sucked and it was hard, but they both did what they needed to for their children. Things are continually getting better. Andy says she had to make a legal statement for domestic battery, and asks how they got to this point after that. Gina says, before that, they were stuck in that place. It was the hardest thing, but the best thing for both of them. It was something she had to say, and that he had to hear. He’s now more accountable and shows up for their kids. Their kids have their parents even though they’re not married. Andy says it shows what a strong woman Gina is, and to poke the bear, he asks Shannon how she’d describe her relationship with David. Shannon says, non-existent; nothing has changed. There’s no communication. She must be seething at this point. Andy asks how Matt and Travis get along, and she says, great now. It wasn’t fun at first, but they had to get through it. Travis helped by doing what was good for the kids and good for everybody. Andy said Gina’s timeline for getting hitched had been 1-3 years; what was the latest? She said they’d be married today, but they have six kids and both had bad divorces. They need to build up their financial resources, since they’ll have to pay for a wedding and the kids’ college. When they get there, it will happen. He asks what cemented her bond with Heather, and Gina and Heather agree it’s the NYC vibe. I totally get that. Shannon looks… I don’t know. Annoyed? Just waiting for her turn?

Andy’s son Benjamin calls, and all the women say hi. Andy says he’s working, and he’ll see Ben tomorrow. He tells us, one house was too big and one too small, but the friendship was just right. We flash back to fun times with Heather and Gina. And Shannon saying, put a pin in it. Andy asks what it meant to Shannon to have Gina’s parents thank her for getting Gina an attorney, and Shannon gives Gina’s parents a glowing review. Gina says she’s happy that her parents said thank you. It meant a lot to them because they couldn’t be there. Shannon says, Gina said it hurt her feelings when she brought up Gina’s DUI, so she didn’t know what to do. Emily says, it’s one thing when Gina’s parents thank her, but it’s another to bring it up with Heather. Shannon says, and she apologized. Should she do it three times. Emily asks why Shannon is taking that tone; it’s just her opinion. Shannon says she did things for Gina that she considered above and beyond what she’d do for most people (which she’s definitely said three times). She doesn’t expect it to be even, but friendship is a two-way street. Gina’s been gunning for her all season. Gina says, she doesn’t go gunning for anybody, and Shannon whines that Gina made no effort to get to know her. Gina says, Shannon was going through the divorce, and wouldn’t let anyone in, and Shannon says, Gina went through one two years later. Gina says, but she communicated. Shannon says she didn’t have Gina’s good fortune, and I almost fall off my chair. Gina and Emily are talking, and Shannon says she doesn’t want to shout, even though she is shouting. She says she’s going to lose her voice, and Gina says, she’ll lose her voice because she said too many ding dong things this season. Now she has to pay the piper.

Next time, Andy asks Jen who’s had the best work done; Noella accuses Jen of firing Emily up about Nicole; Shannon brings up Gina saying she didn’t have any friends for the four billionth time; and Gina says John being aggressive toward her made her uncomfortable.  

🎹 It’s Only a Day Away…

Stop by tomorrow to get the soap lowdown and maybe a cup of tea. Until then, stay safe, stay not writing checks your ass can’t cash, and stay not looking at friendship like a commodity.